#clocktower 2 the struggle within
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This week, I decided for game movies I was going to watch the other clocktowers in the series in video game movie form.
I watched a full gameplay of clocktower 3 many years ago, and fondly remember its absolutely bonkers plotline, and had been meaning to check out the others at some point, so I decided why not now.
I had meant to watch 1 first, but due to 2 being labled as 1, started on that first, which I think worked out pretty well for me actually. I supplemented Knowlege with TV tropes, and learned a lot of what I missed watching the movie.
One of the few flaws with watching a movie, is it doesn't give substituting infromation for why that ending happened , so an ending where a protagonist fails due to lack of infromation when you saw them get it in the gameplay goes unexplained.
It was also good that I watched 2 first as it was the longest, and today I watched 1 and struggle within back to back.
I think the atmosphere of 2 was spookiest to me, or maybe I took more time to think about it. 1 was a solid game, and struggle within was actively funny to me.
Its got a lot of potential for cool concept, with the protagonist being a could be scissorman, and the personality swaps needed to progress throughout the game and interact with characters correctly (or die), was a neat idea. But it missed the mark for spooky atmosphere and landed in funny, as I could not help but crack up whenever the protagonist spoke in the voice of Bates (who did have good voice acting). Particularly When Bates was trying to do a badass boast or be threatning, only to get them taken out like a punk.
Kind of like Freaky, that movie where the serial killer and the protagonist swap bodies, which is a cool concept but failed to do anything particularly cool beyond the concept with it. Except I was more entertained by this then Freaky.
Then I watched most of the first hour of Parasite Eve 2. I liked Parasite Eve 1 better so far, as it had a cooler setup, and characters, particularly Daniel who was great, but I like Aya, and am curious to see what she gets up to, and if the follow up games are as much of a letdown as people say. I'll have to see.
#clocktower 2 the struggle within#clocktower 2#clocktower 1 the first fright#parasite eve 2#random k#game movie reviews#i guess
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My Bad Faith Media Recs:
(In which a thing i like a great deal is incredibly flawed/morally questionable/contains harmful themes & views/a combination of these)
Post-Shift 2 (Not morally bankrupt, just a powerful case study on how not to introduce players to new mechanics)
Clocktower 2: Ghost Head/The Struggle Within (IS morally bankrupt & does some absolute fuck-shit on NOT portraying DID, while also portraying things around it that are harmful. Plus, it's just bad to play, the only way you can get through this puzzle game is legit by using a walkthrough (because exploration gets you killed, & trial-&-error Do Not Work), + the endings are unsatisfactory & not worth your time to see)
Elfen Lied (maybe the worst piece of media I wish I could recommend more often, but will not due to how absolutely awful the content is. You NEED to look at the unconsenting media page before you touch this thing with a 100ft pole. It portrays some of the most abhorrent human behaviors, lays bare victims, showcasing their trauma for mere spectacle to keep an audience entertained. It repeatedly victimizes every single female member of the cast, either at an attempt at ""comedy,"" or to villain shorthand the villains while raising up the victims as sad characters you should heap sympathy upon, just so the protags can look like saints when they swoop in & help out. This is a constant re-iteration through an endless series of showcasing really heavy topics, with little to no care in how these topics are portrayed -- something that discusses a heavy subject but will never "handle it well." It's also kind of cathartic, for reasons I would need more paragraphs to explain. I watched it out of spite, & it instantly popped up to my favorite anime, & one of my favorite pieces of media, perhaps, before I got to the graveyard scene & went, "What the fuck?" & Had to stop watching, for a few weeks, only to come back & immediately adore it some more. It's so bad.)
Bendy & the Ink Machine (If you ever have interest in this series, your best way to experience it is by getting the sparx notes on the first game, then playing Bendy & the Dark Revival instead, which rehashes & references the first in a way I find derivative, but it ultimately a much better game to play. I think the first game is more interesting to talk about than it ever was to play, beyond maybe the first chapter -- but only if you treat it as a proof of concept, rather than the first of 5 entries in a single game. I cannot stress how shite it is to release your game in hacked up chunks that all need to be purchased, as basically paid dlc, & I also need to say that going back & making those previous versions unobtainable by mashing it all into one game that can instead be bought all at once does not erase what you were doing for years before that moment. I also need to say the devs are fucking awful for what they put their employees through -- that shit is dire. Also, the chapters are not at all cohesive, & do not "blend." At the end of one, you are teleported to the other, & the connective tissue is weak. The only 2 chapters that feel like they were planned together are 4 & 5, two chapters i speculate were likely originally intended to be 3 chapters, but were squashed into 2 when the devs inserted a new chapter for a character they previously had zero plans for after fans became incredibly interested in her. The series relies upon you reading alternative media like the novels & sequel to justify the first game & its ending. It's bad. It's so bad, & it makes me so angry that I have debated on getting into video essays exclusively to lay bare all the ways I despise this. It is my favorite game.)
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So Scout and I just binged about 10 more episodes of Time Force so I figured it was time for a part 2 to this post for domestic Time Force Rangers eps 11-20 because there were absolute some domestic moments.
Part 1 || Part 3 || Part 4
Episode 11 - Uniquely Trip
Trip is infodumping on Wes and Wes is trying so hard to keep up
The increased amount of checking in with one another during battle
Trip’s training montage oh my god
Jen ragging on the guys for having an arm wrestle when a job has come in
Post battle someone had to carry Trip up to bed and give him an ice pack
Katie’s mothering behavior, telling Wes to be careful and checking in on Trip when he wakes up and comes downstairs
And the peak domestic: everyone getting green wigs and acting like Trip at the end of the episode to show just how much they want to be like him also.
Episode 12 - World Apart
Wes, Lucas, and Katie all eating popcorn behind Jen’s back while she’s strategizing
Trip being so exceedingly excited that they got another job
Trip standing up for Wes in front of Mr. Collins
Episode 13 - The Quantum Quest
Jen and Katie tending to Wes after he got hit so hard in the fight
Not a ton of other domestic, but I had to share this image
Episodes 14-15 - Clash For Control
These are much more plot focused that domestic, but they still have their moments
Katie, Trip, Lucas, Jen, and Circuit searching through 4 million years of history in order to find Wes (and Eric they guess)
Lucas lifting Katie up after they were all demorphed
The gang running towards Wes after turning down Mr. Collins offer
And now for the moment I will not shut up about- Wes having his doubts about his own team sticking around and Jen egging him on and pretending they might have been better with Wes’s dad
“Jen, you’ve never told a joke in your life.”
And the following chase Jen through the clocktower, reminiscent to episode 8
Episode 16 - Bodyguard in Blue
Lucas dropping his cool persona for the sake of getting this kid to safety
Lucas buying this little girl a new teddy bear after her’s is burnt. It reminds me a lot of the In Space episode Carlos on Call
Everyone ganging up and giving Lucas a hug at the end
Episode 17 - The Legend of the Clock Tower
So when Scout and I thought this was like a Halloween sort of episode, they literally asked me how it ranked on my ���domesticity scale” and I said an 8, which would raise to a 9 if we got rangers in pajamas. And guess what. It lived up to it.
Trip and Katie fixing up the clock tower together, with some mild teasing from Lucas.
Wes telling Katie the ghost story of the tower
Jen and Trip playing chess together while Lucas reads next to them
GUESS WHAT RANGERS IN PAJAMAS
Katie and Jen still sleep near each other, enough that Jen is within arms length to wake her up
Jen being grumbly and telling Katie to go back to sleep
Wes and Katie talking about the story again in the changed future.
Lucas teasing the crew about ghosts not being real when Trip gets freaked out by the bell
Episode 18 - Trust and Triumph
Lucas, Trip, and Katie staying Far the hell away when Jen and Wes were fighting about the botched plan and subsequently putting their heads down when Wes tries to bring them into it
Jen and Wes getting down to work figuring out how to coordinate their attacks
Jen opening up about her struggle with anxiety and pressure (which i would Love to explore more in fic one day) until she met Alex and started working with him at the academy.
Wes reaching out to grab Jen’s shoulder and then he DOESN’T
Wes holding Jen’s hand to show her the target set up
“Alright, hotshot.”
And of course, Jen and Wes’s target shoot off at the end, featuring encouraging hugs and touches
Episode 19 - Trip Takes a Stand
The team constantly protects Trip and his location so that Eric cannot destroy the mutant or Trip.
The girls teasing Lucas when he insists that he is cool and doesn’t just act it.
Episode 20 - Quantum Secrets
Eric shows his first signs of domesticity with his birds but I still don’t trust the guy 6th ranger or not.
Jen tends to Eric after almost drowning- does she carry that washcloth with her everywhere she goes? It’s the same one she used on Wes in ep 13.
Eric shows more domesticity with his birds. If I didn’t mention Eric, we wouldn’t literal zero domestic moments which just makes me sad. But maybe he’ll prove more trustworthy. I hope so.
And that’s all for Part 2 of Time Force. God I hope we keep getting this level of domestic with the team.
#power rangers time force#power rangers#jen scotts#wes collins#katie walker#lucas kendall#trip regis#eric meyer#prtf#power rangers liveblogging
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If these are still open... can I request a part 2 of our Feral family? Possibly with Maul and his reaction to seeing this other brother of his and also that he actually has a family of his own? We get to see more interaction between Savage and Feral's children as the boys just adore their uncle? While, of course, Feral is making them a nice home meal to let his pregnant wife relax with their coming daughter. I love this family and they shall live on!!
This ended up long as fUck but it was cute, so whatever
Here is the first part.
Warnings: A screwy timeline
“Did I not tell him to stay with the ship…”
Having thoroughly scoped out the land and finding it annoyingly peaceful, Maul had returned to where he had landed with Savage hours later only to find the ship… empty. It was unlike him to wander around anywhere without reason, but even more unlikely that the over two meters tall Zabrak had been captured, especially not by people like these. The only reasonable conclusion, Maul decided, was that something had caught his brother’s eye and he had chosen to follow it.
He turned in the direction of the nearby village, the faces of the houses and buildings obstructed by thick forest life and plants taller than any natural greenery Maul had ever been in the presence of. He trekked forward, unsteady footing slowing down his pace, and pushed through the vines and leaves that blocked his path. Mumbling to himself as he walked, he dearly hoped, for Savage’s sake, that whatever he had followed was worth it.
The forest ended at the edge of the village, loud lively, many residents having taken to the streets enthralled in conversation and tasks, some children running to fro as they played. It hadn’t seemed like Savage had been through there, but then again, one could never be too sure.
As he began walking amongst the people, his vision glazed over the people largely too interested in their own business to notice a stranger traveling within their midst. Faces of various colors blurred together in a haze of surreal memories. He understood, at least a little, the appeal of this planet, the rainbow of appearances that spanned not only through the population but also the environment kept everything interesting, preventing its natives from falling into the dangers of monotony.
The noise of the bustling town didn’t interest him, but one single voice stood out from the others. Though it wasn’t one he knew, there was a strange familiarity to it, as if it was one he was supposed to.
To his right stood a lone house, modest in size, but no less pretty, with multiple figures moving in the front, backlit by the lowering sun. The voice had come from there, light and cheerful, the primary trait an airiness that he hadn’t heard in a long time. Upon venturing closer, hesitance slowing his pace, he could more clearly see the family in question and the source of his curiosity.
Savage stood with the family, arms crossed in deep consideration. Beside him was yet another Zabrak, similar in color, but lighter, soft brown tattoos framing his face less intrusive than his own. He was smaller, younger, more innocent than Maul or Savage, but he held himself assuredly, as if the cruelty of reality hadn’t quite hit him yet. Or maybe it had and he had just chosen to ignore it.
Three children, varying in height, were beginning to be herded together, directed towards the house as the smaller Zabrak continued his conversation.
“-but to this day I still don’t know where the ship came from. But you know how we were, always ready to fight outsiders when the goings got tough!” His laugh was just as cheerful, ringing in everyone’s ears like bells from a clocktower in the mornings. As he spoke, he lightly elbowed Savage, who himself was smiling at his companion, more pleased than Maul had ever seen him.
Though the conversation halted when Maul approached, Savage’s smile fading as he remembered what he had even come for, and Feral’s eyes widening in surprise at the new visitor.
“Is this-” Feral began, gesturing towards Maul, who’s annoyance had faded into simple confusion when he had fully processed the scene in front of him. Savage simply nodded in response, and it wasn’t long that Feral was hurrying over to Maul, a grin plastered on his face.
“We haven’t formally met, yet!” His hand was outstretched, eager to make contact. “I’m Feral. I’m not sure how much you know about me, but I’m your brother!”
Maul took the hand, albeit reluctantly, and nodded. “I’ve heard… only a small amount. Though I was under the impression you were-”
“Dead?” Feral shot Savage a glance. “I might’ve been, if I didn’t have help along the way… Oh well, both of you should come in! I cook around here most of the time, so we can catch up while I feed the monsters.”
Savage smiled at the thought, watching as Feral led them back to the house. Maul however, remained wary, uncertain of how his brother had come to build such a comfortable life while he still struggled to get more than three hours of sleep each night.
“You look so concerned…” Savage mentioned as Maul came up beside him, brow furrowed. “I’ve known him our whole lives. Nothing bad will happen.”
Maul shook his head. “It’s not that. I just don’t understand it. How can he come from a planet like ours and still be able to maintain such… domesticity?”
“Feral was always more tame than the rest of us. I wouldn’t call it weakness, just… an aversion to the violence he was born into.” He stopped a moment, sighing as he watched his nephews race to get into the house first. “I always worried for him, hoping he wouldn’t be targeted as defective if he didn’t adapt to the harshness. He found a way, though.”
Maul said nothing, mind still contemplating the strangeness of it all. He had never considered the possibility of anything other than the power he was raised to believe in, yet here was one of his own kin, living out a life free from that constant struggle. It didn’t sit right.
Still, both followed their brother inside, the children wrestling in the living room and a female Togruta laying on the plush couch. The colors on the interior were light and natural, soft on the eyes and fitting for the natural aura of the village.
Already, Feral had prepared drinks for the company, setting cups on the wooden table outside the kitchen. His brothers sat, Savage visibly more comfortable than Maul was.
The oldest child had seemed to take a liking to Savage, lingering around him as often as possible. He couldn’t have been older than ten, head-tails still very short, encircled by budding horns that were placed more like Savage’s than Feral’s. His skin was a lighter brown, as were the stripes on his head-tails, and he carried himself with more authority than his siblings, prepared to remind him of his elder status at any moment.
“You know,” he said to Savage, leaning forward on the table’s edge, restlessly kicking up his legs. “I’m gonna be like you when I get older. I’m the biggest and the strongest of my brothers, and I’m going to make sure it stays that way!”
“It’s ah… not an easy task…” Savage replied, not wanting to admit that he effectively cheated. Maul snickered. “You’ll have to train for years if you want that to happen.”
“I don’t care!” He leapt up, arms crossing and chest puffing out. “I look kinda like you anyways, so I’m already halfway there!” Well, that’s good, at least he was aware of it.
Feral piped up as he filled a pot with water. “Terren, you’re still not done with school. Please wait until you can long divide before you do that.”
Maul felt something on his leg. It was the youngest, about two, tapping on the metal casing. Rounder and softer in features than his older brother, he was a deep green, like his mother, but the horns that just barely poked out from the area around his head tails bore a strange, uncomfortable resemblance to Maul’s when he was that age. Remarkably curious, he was easy to please as long as he got the answers he sought. And at that moment, he was seeking answers about the being in front of him that he was certain was a droid.
“Fake?” His nails tapped again, harder. Maul didn’t like children in any situation, but what he liked even less was that he found this one mildly charming. He moved his foot back, just to see what would happen, fully expecting the child to cry. But no, he simply scooched himself back with it, gaining an even closer look. “Fake.” He nodded, having determined his hypothesis correct, and placed both hands directly on top of Maul’s foot in confidence.
He really wanted to pick this kid up.
Against his better judgement and personality, he reached down and lifted the child up to eye-level, not sure what he was looking for, yet searching nonetheless. Upon seeing his uncle’s face for the first time, as he was much too small to have noticed it before, the child’s expression hardened into intense concentration. This being was certainly not a droid, and it was unfortunate that now he’d have to go back to the drawing board to discover the truth once more.
“Oh that’s Uta…” Feral said, noticing his brother holding up the young child like a small sack of potatoes. “He’s… a handful.” He laughed as he said it, the sounds of cooking food blending with his smooth voice.
Uta was still frowning, having earned his spot standing on Maul’s lap, and very clearly trying to reason out why he had been tricked before. “Real.” He pointed at Savage. “Real?” He turned to look up at Maul, whose expression was difficult to read. “Fake?”
“It’s about half and half…” Maul offered, hoping to relieve the child of what might’ve been the most stressful situation of his mini life.
“Half-av?” He considered a moment, letting the newly learned word sizzle in his mind a second. Feral tried to choke down his laugh. Uta finally nodded. “Half-av.” The answer was acceptable.
And in came the middle child, mother in tow, who was still discussing an old legend about Nautolans as he entered the room. Stalky and narrow, he was the researcher of the family. He looked most like Feral, with kind eyes turned down at the edges, his mild yellow colors dimmer than his siblings and a slight air of nervousness surrounding him like a cloud, but that didn’t stop him from opening up to his family in ways few would understand or expect. Madin was nodding thoughtfully as she listened to him, pulling out a chair so that she could also sit with everyone else.
“I, for one, don’t understand the Anselmi’s goals in the long run.” He leaned against the table’s edge closest to the kitchen as he finished his explanation. “Oh hey, I’m Forta.” He gave Maul a small two-fingered salute as his introduction.
“Out of the way, out of the way,” Feral chuckled as he waved his kids away with one arm and set down a large serving platter with another. Forta scurried over to Savage’s side, where he marveled at the sturdiness of his uncle’s armor. He began going on about various materials found throughout the galaxy, and was gushing about Beskar, while Terren tried to convince him that no one wanted to hear his boring facts.
Sitting down beside his wife, Feral rubbed Madin’s back while the three boys hurried to their seats across from them.
“You know…” he began slowly, considering the environment. “I didn’t think this sort of thing was possible, getting off of Dathomir… having something more than what we were told was allowed.” He glanced over at Savage, who met his eyes and looked down. “But I get to have all of this… and I’m so glad that you two get to be a part of that now, too. So… I guess what I’m trying to say is… Thank you. For everything.”
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Silent Hill 2: As A Disabled Woman
Please be warned this piece discusses ableism and abuse, including murder, and contains a minor mention [just a passing plot-point, not elaborated upon] of childhood sexual abuse.
The Ancient Land is in its final stages- I'm finishing up the coding and there'll be a demo very very soon; so in my downtime I've been working out other concepts and brainstorming a lot of various things for what may or may not become my next project. There'll be more on those in the coming weeks, but I wanted to post something slightly different in the meantime to make up for the fact that I can't really keep posting “yep, still coding, still bad at it”.
One of the ideas I had revolves around a horror game, and in working out concepts for it I've been revisiting some of my favourite horror franchises – films, video games, and novels, to try and work out what makes me tick, what makes horror tick, and how I can make my game tick. In doing so, I replayed one of my perennial favourites in Silent Hill 2. As well as being one of my favourite games, it is widely held as one of the best horror video games to date, held up alongside Resident Evil, Clocktower and Alone in the Dark as a foundation of Survival Horror.
It had been some time since I last played it, and when I was a newly-diagnosed diabetic it resonated with me because of its portrayal of chronic illness, more specifically, that a character within the game had one. There weren't any games that dealt with that subject matter in such a visceral manner. At a young age, 11, I was processing my diagnosis and trying to understand how it would effect my whole life, a process which I am still trying to come to terms with and this was isolating to say the least. I was traversing my own fog.
Silent Hill 2 is not my favourite Silent Hill, that honour goes to 3 – teenage girls in horror!-, but it holds a special place in my heart, important during a time of my life where I was processing the lifelong grief of my new diagnoses. And, as I grew and co-morbidity –the tendency for multiple conditions to cluster around a primary condition - meant I had a great many other diagnoses, I found myself revisiting those claustrophobic streets as a source of comfort. It seems oxymoronic to play a horror game for comfort, but horror as a whole is a genre I have often retreated to during my darkest periods. There's safety in monsters too fantastical to exist. Yet, the real horror of Silent Hill 2 for me isn't in its psychological monsters but in the real fears of ableism and sickness.
I realised as I grew that Silent Hill's handling of and representation of illness was the reason for my constant revisits. It comforted, repulsed, terrified and saddened me and helped me process the guilt of being sick. As my relationship with myself and my disabilities [they're multiplying!] has evolved so has my reading and relationship with Silent Hill 2. There will be spoilers if you've not played it, so if you don't want it spoiled don't read any further.
I am in two minds about it on many fronts, mostly for how it handles and represents disability conceptually and literally. On the one hand, stories about how disabled people are burdensome and which usually end with their dying are a constant staple. We are a tragic love story, and in many ways Silent Hill 2 reinforces this- indeed, this is the crux of the story. The narrative of Silent Hill 2 is driven by its unreliable protagonist James Sunderland; his actions are frequently cast into doubt and Mary's right to live is what drives the main conflict within James' psyche, manifesting as the horrors of the game. Her slow death, James' desire to prolong and shorten her life, and how this conflicts with both of their wishes all form important narrative milestones. James and Mary both are cast in sympathetic lights, and many players come to understand through the naturally presented narrative that James was in the wrong. At least I hope so.
This journey of guilt mirrors the traumas of the cast of supporting characters, all of whom are dealing with guilt stemming from murder – Angela kills her sexually abusive father [which frankly I cannot criticise]; Eddie, bullied, snaps and kills a dog and perhaps a person although this is left ambiguous. Between Angela's self defence, Eddie's snapping and James' sympathy-killing of his wife, there are many facets and stages of guilt portrayed within this game. And in this world, moral greyness, like fog, presides. Yet I don't think I can agree with how yet again a disabled character is killed off to forward the plot of an abled protagonist and often we feel sorry and empathise with him by vice of his being the player character. We view the game through his perspective, and in controlling him the default perspective and empathy lies with him. This could be a problem if twinned with a player who's view and experience of disability is informed solely through media or second-hand experience. Being asked to sympathise with a character, especially one who killed a disabled woman, might lead to your average abled person simply thinking he is in the right because, concerningly, it is something they would consider. Within the context of real life this sad story -of a carer or lover who kills a sick partner, thinking it's the best thing for them- happens all too often. A very real horror for me.
Just a few years ago, in Japan nonetheless, an able bodied man slaughtered 16 disabled people because he felt they were better off dead. I am not inherently against assisted suicide, but this is not that. It is important to note there is a form of ableist abuse wherein abled people coerce disabled people that they're not worth anything, and would be better off dead. I want to make it clear that these two things are entirely different. This is not, explicitly, the situation in Silent Hill 2. There is an ending where Mary thanks and forgives James but it is also shown Mary does struggle with feelings of self-loathing during the course of her illness; not brought on by James in any way, at least not actively, and definitely something I as a disabled woman have dealt with, but worth considering. And, I think, abled people want to feel justified in their views on the worth of disabled lives, so perhaps the apology is there as a form of catharsis for abled people more than it is anything else. It is OK to sympathise with James, we'd all do the same in his situation, disabled people all secretly want to be put out of their misery. This is the unpleasant streak that runs through the game, the crux of where our sympathies stem from.
Having mentioned this, his actions are never actively condoned by the game. It is simply a harsh reality of ableism that often, abled people think they are putting us out of our misery or that our existence is inherently twinned with suffering. I don't think the writers of the game were aware of this when they wrote this in, they simply wanted a psychological angle to take so this accidental aesop is perhaps, a fluke. Many aspects of the game were planned and researched meticulously, but as far as I know none of the development team had any personal experience with illness, so the game comes from their wholly abled perspective.
As I have grown as a person, I have come into my own internal conflict with the themes and presentation therein of the game. When I was newly diagnosed with a condition that, at the time I was told would carve years off my life and which needed lifelong medication simply to function, I found solace in Silent Hill. James' struggle to understand and cope with the death of his wife was similar to how I was struggling to cope and fathom the life-changing diagnosis I had had. I think, perhaps, that when I ran through the streets again and again I was searching within the game, for some ways of processing the diagnoses I found myself saddled with. James mourned his wife of 3 years [3 days] dead, I mourned for a life drastically changed in a matter of days. James, struggling to understand his wifes' illness, was just like me struggling with mine. I was lost in my own fog, in the streets of my own head trying to come to terms with myself.
Bearing this in mind, as I have grown up and come to terms with my conditions my attitudes towards the narrative of Silent Hill 2 have changed. In it, illness is this fearful beast – it could be you! You could be sick!-, except I was; and I didn't want scares, nor did I find the implicit implications of illness scary in the same way an abled person might. What might be horrifying to an abled person was just a daily experience for me. I knew how scary illness could be. I wanted to feel normal.
Looking for normality in a horror game might feel extraneous except for when we take into consideration that many monsters in horror are stand-ins for minorities within society; the queers in the vampire, the proverbial “other”, the rejection of Frankenstein's Monster. Like them, the monsters in Silent Hill 2 all represent something, illness and the multiple perspectives of illness that James has, and I found it less comforting and more... melodramatic. Illness is a daily fact of life for me, and using my existence as a threat to abled people – you could be sick and burdensome just like Mary- just felt insulting. In Silent Hill, illness and sick people are as much the monster as James. Mary looms like Orlok's shadow.
As a character Mary is shown to be multi-faceted; James' manifestations of his guilt and feelings about Mary show her to be venomous, angry bitter, a monster spitting acid but her final letter to him reveals that she admits to this, but more than that: she is a guilt-ridden wife who knows her illness is effecting her spouse. It is heart-wrenching, and beautifully written, and as an ending monologue is poignant and reflected many of the feelings I have felt as a disabled woman. There have been times I have lashed out to people I love because of a particularly bad month of illness, and then the guilt comes because I am only human. Anger, pain and this endless cycle is an intrinsic part of Mary's character throughout the game, and despite it all, Mary is shown to be all that James wants. This is not a narrative fault, but a character flaw within James that he readily recognises and criticises repeatedly, and again, desire and the nature of it is wholly human.
Mary's portrayal within the game is both progressive and sympathetic, and concerningly backward. Mary is humanised in a way that very little media about sickness has ever done, and shown as a multifaceted and complex character just as James' own motivations and desires are shown to be both good, and bad. My readings of Silent Hill are in no way the only way to read it, and in no way lessen the story Silent Hill 2 is telling; it is an amazing, visceral game with a humanising and terrifying portrayal of how illness can take over lives.
Silent Hill 2 holds a special place in my heart. At a time in my life where I was processing the first of many illnesses to grip me it allowed me to process and deconstruct my own feelings towards my mortality, dwindling health and illnesses. Experiencing and living with illnesses is isolating and lonely to say the least, not least because of how abled people treat us and I think Silent Hill almost nails that on the head accidentally.
This is not to say that people living with spouses who deal with illness should feel wrong, or guilty, for feeling bad about illness and I am not silly enough to suggest that illness does not have an effect on those around me; it does, but the way Silent Hill missteps is in showing illness as a singularly burdensome, corrupting thing, and offering justification for James' actions. It is left up to the player, ultimately, but I do worry for how abled gamers might perceive and justify James within the wider context of society.
There isn't much point to this post. Its just a ramble, and an internal struggle, I've dealt with for a little while and decided to finally try and hash out.
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III Days Till Kingdom Hearts III
Kingdom Hearts II - The IIIrd Game in the Series
The Destiny Trio
The Disney Trio
The Clocktower Trio
The Wayfinder Trio
The Old Masters Trio
The IIIrd Apprentice of Yen Sid - Riku
The IIIrd Apprentice of Master Xehanort - Terra
The IIIrd Apprentice of Master Eraqus - Ventus
The IIIrd Apprentice of the Master of Masters - Invi
The IIIrd Union Leader - Invi
The IIIrd Apprentice of Ansem the Wise - Even
The IIIrd Playable Character in the Series - Roxas
Xaldin - The Whirlwind Lancer // Number III
Number III’s Weapons - Lances: Lindworm
Ansem’s Report III:
“The shadows that crawl beneath the castle... Are they the people who lost their hearts, or incarnations of darkness? Or something entirely beyond my imagination?
All my knowledge has provided no answer. One thing I am sure of is that they are entirely devoid of emotion. Perhaps further study will unlock the mysteries of the heart.
Fortunately, there is no shortage of test samples. They are multiplying underground even as I write this report. They still need a name. Those who lack hearts... I will call them the Heartless.“
Secret Ansem’s Report III:
“Chaos affects not only this world, but many other worlds besides.
In the "Ansem's Reports" my apprentice Xehanort had written under my name, I found the records of his hideous experiments along with his hypothesis about the door that had appeared out of the darkness in my basement.
All living things have hearts, and all hearts hold darkness deep within.
Worlds are no exception. If a world is a being, the heart it holds must be colossal...
...and the darkness at its core must be monstrous indeed.
Did Xehanort pass through that door in an attempt to contact that dark realm?
No, not only Xehanort.
It appears my other five apprentices, believing it was for the sake of research, stared deep into the darkness and were pulled into it.
Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus...
They have ceased to be human.
I, too, have had everything taken away from me, banished to a hollow realm of nothingness.
What is Xehanort hoping to gain with my pilfered existence?
Will my people cease to smile?
If the light of hope has been extinguished, I shall henceforth walk with darkness as a friend.
Here, in the realm of nothingness to which I have been relegated.
Darkness in the midst of nothing.
"Darkness in Zero."
Thus, I shall be known as DiZ.
Discarding the stolen name "Ansem"...
And going in search of revenge.“
Xehanort’s Report III:
“In ancient times, no such buffers kept the larger World divided; there were no walls of light enclosing each smaller world the way they do today. Nothing prevented one from physically interfering with the next.
At that time, the World was filled with light, and a great many Keyblade wielders. But without buffers, the worlds began to squabble over ownership of the light. You see, they learned of the Keyblade's true use. War broke out as each of the Keyblade wielders struggled to lay claim to an almighty entity known as Kingdom Hearts.
Kingdom Hearts could be described as an aggregate of hearts. Worlds, too, have hearts, just like people; each world's heart is concealed from sight, beyond a hidden door. By gathering all the hearts of all the worlds in a single place, one may complete Kingdom Hearts.“
Roxas’ Diary - Entry III:
“The past few days, the other members have been showing me how to fight and do mission stuff. They also told me more about the Organization, and about myself.
I still don't really get what a "heart" is. But apparently, it's a vital piece of who I am—so I've decided to cooperate. If I collect enough hearts, I can complete Kingdom Hearts. Then I'll be whole.“
No. III
“A clumsy Heartless that drops valuable items.
Chase it to collect what it's lost! At times it's known to drop a whole trove of goodies.“
The IIIrd Summon in the Series - Dumbo
The IIIrd Playable Game in Kingdom Hearts - Wonderland
The IIIrd Floor in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories - Olympus Coliseum
The IIIrd Basement Floor in Kingdom Hearts: Reverse/Rebirth - Destiny Island
The IIIrd Playable World in Kingdom Hearts II - The Land of Dragons
The IIIrd Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days - Agrabah
The IIIrd Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep // Terra, Ven, & Aqua - Mirage Arena
The IIIrd Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: Coded - Wonderland
The IIIrd Playable World in Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance - Prankster’s Paradise
The IIIth Playable World in the Kingdom Hearts: χ Saga - Wonderland
The IIIth Enemy in each Game, as listed by the Journal
Soldier (KHFM)
Large Body (KHRe:CoM)
Large Body (KH2FM)
Dragoon (KH2FM)
Gigas Shadow (KHDays)
Bruiser (KHBbSFM)
Neoshadow (KHBbSFM)
Soldier (KHRe:Coded)
Yoggy Ram (KH3D)
Flame Core (KH0.2)
Soldier (KHUX)
The IIIth Keyblade Collected in each Game (results may vary)
Three Wishes (KHFM)
Three Wishes (KHRe:CoM)
Hidden Dragon (KH2FM)
Ominous Blight (KHDays)
Stroke of Midnight (KHBbSFM - Terra & Ventus)
Treasure Trove (KHBbSFM - Aqua)
Lady Luck (KHRe:Coded)
Guardian Bell (KH3D)
Lady Luck (KHUX)
Images from KHWiki
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Clock Tower es una serie de videojuego de aventuras de apuntar y hacer clic de survival horror creado por Hifumi Kono. La serie incluye cuatro juegos en total. La primera entrada, Clock Tower (1995), fue desarrollada por Human Entertainment y lanzada en el Super Famicom exclusivamente en Japón. Human Entertainment desarrolló dos entradas más, Clock Tower (1996) y Clock Tower II: The Struggle Within (1998), que se lanzaron en la PlayStation y se localizaron fuera de Japón. El cuarto y más reciente título, Clock Tower 3 (2002), fue desarrollado conjuntamente por Sunsoft y Capcom para PlayStation 2. El juego en la serie generalmente involucra al jugador que se esconde y escapa de los perseguidores enemigos sin armas para vencerlos. Scissorman es un antagonista recurrente y, a veces, el único enemigo en el juego. #retroact #clocktower #psx #ascii #videojuegos #juegos #juegosretro
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The finale to my playthrough of Clocktower 2! [WTFTower] Hope you enjoy!
#clocktower 2#clocktower 2 ghost head#clocktower 2 the struggle within#ghost head#struggle within#clocktower 3
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