#cleo and beth?? hello??

[hold-out-my-sweet]

right so who didn’t tell me to watch The Queen’s Gambit before, and who’s gonna buy me the book.

[infcinity]

hello, hello, hello! it’s once again that time for an event starter call!! u will find my plotting call right here ,, and you can take a look at the vibez for my characters on this board here !!

at the moment, I won’t be placing a cap on my starters, but I might reduce it or add to it! so feel free to go wild and request as many starters as you want! 

just a small note, I will be on holiday throughout all of the plotting stage, so I’m getting this out early but it won’t get updated until possibly the 10th because I don’t know what the situation with wifi or internet is going to be while I’m in disneyland! but I may just take a notepad and pen with me and write everything out on paper while I’m on the plane home so that I can just type things up and get them posted when I’m home!! 

annie james ( 0 / ?? )

ben solo ( 4 / ?? ) ariana dumbledore, tenel ka djo, elara palpatine, jacen solo

chrissy cunningham ( 2 / ?? ) henry creel, eddie munson

ewan mckinnon ( 2 / ?? ) cleo mckinnon, oliver mckinnon

ezra bridger ( 2 / ?? ) hunter, luke skywalker

helena ravenclaw ( 1 / ?? ) rowena ravenclaw

jeyne poole ( 2 / ?? ) sansa stark, beth cassel

jiang cheng ( 1 / ?? ) lan jingyi

jyn erso ( 1 / ?? ) sarah walker

kirei monsula ( 2 / ?? ) ahsoka tano, omega

lan sizhui ( 2 / ?? ) wen ning, lan wangji

ling wen ( 0 / ?? )

mai ( 2 / ?? ) katara, aang

martha hatter ( 2 / ?? ) sophie hatter, lin

natasha romanoff ( 4 / ?? ) yelena belova, vision, peter parker, bucky barnes

owen lars ( 2 / ?? ) breu lars, anakin skywalker

parker halliwell ( 2 / ?? ) emily fields, peyton halliwell

rhiannon fawley ( 1 / ?? ) voldemort

robb stark ( 1 / ?? ) kenna de poitiers

sarra palpatine ( 2 / ?? ) sella palpatine, sion val palpatine

sirius black ( 3 / ?? ) james potter, hermione granger, hagrid

sola naberrie ( 1 / ?? ) enjolras

sophie sheridan ( 1 / ?? ) attina

winter celchu ( 2 / ?? ) penelope garcia, doom

xue yang ( 1 / ?? ) hua cheng

[historical-kitten]

Hello all,

I finally finished Kingdoms of Clay, another Jedtavius fanfic! A dangerous duo from the past is introduced to the museum, making life troublesome for Octavius. Will he and Jed survive? (Or kiss?)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39352725

If you are in the mood for music to go with the fic, here is a playlist for you to enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3GafwoxJKZg1eoInzS8XeI?si=1fxNPaO1S8Oj-wZ5ksnFnQ&utm_source=copy-link

Read more about the songs below.

Meet Me on the Battlefield by SVRCINA

"Meet me on the battlefield even on the darkest night. I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage, and you will be mine. Echoes and the shots ring out. We may be the first to fall. Everything can stay the same, or we could change it all."

The theme song for the series. Just spoilered there will be a sequel... I definitely picture it for Octavius and Jed.

Army by Arcando, Besomorph, and Neoni

"If you go to war then I'm going with you. Pick up my sword, yeah, there's nothing I won't do. When you sound the alarms and the chaos is rising, leading the charge, yeah, I'm coming out fighting. Swear on the breath that I breathe, I'll never retreat, yeah, I'll be your army."

Definitely Oct for Jed and vice versa. Also Decimus and Will for each other. Antonius/Cleo. Carus/Livia.

Casualty by Hidden Citizens

Sun wont rise for our morning. You can't come back from the dead. Try to dry my eyes for the fallen. But the tears wont wait for the rest. It's cold as ice."

Antonius' Historical Death song, perfect for the 1st chapter.

Without You by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca

"I don't want the world to turn without you. And I don't want the sun to burn without you. Yeah, I don't want the world to turn without you. And I don't want the sun to burn without you."

This song could work for any couple but especially fits our favorite melodramatic Roman Octavius for Jedediah.

BUT the outro is pure Antonius for Cleo.

[Outro] "I don't want to live a life without you. I will watch the world burn without you."

With You till the End by Tommee Profitt & Sam Tinnesz

"When your fears are not fading, and there's parts of you breaking. I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands. Though the night feels lonely, I won't leave you behind me. Deep inside I know I can't."

Jedediah for Oct. Also vice versa.

Immortalized by Hidden Citizens

"There is nothing left to hide, when you're helpless, waiting to collide. Through the flames you're by my side. We'll go down together. We'll go down together. Immortalized."

Antonius and Cleopatra in life, maybe a bit Jedtavius in the Museum.

War of Hearts (Acoustic) by Ruelle

"I can't help but love you, even though I try not to.

I can't help but want you, I know that I'd die without you."

This belongs on all Jedtavius dramatic playlists lol. Ultimate pining.

Reasons by Beth Crowley

"You have the most beautiful smile. You light up I can see you for miles and if you stay we can stand at the edge of forever. How it kills me to see you get hurt. You have no idea how much you're worth I would pay anything for the courage to say that I love you."

Also Jedtavius pining but more upbeat somehow

More songs on the playlist but, fair warning, some of them are for the sequel...

[lexiwright]

Building Jealousy

Benny watts x reader

A/N- so hey first benny sorry. This was requested by Anonymous with the second prompt. This is my first in a while so I'm a bit rust but I really hope it's well received and yeah.

Also a side note that isn't import but when writing this Ive been listening to ”You” by petit biscuit. I'm not sure why but any time I've been reading anything to do with benny or writing him this is my go to song. But yes thanks for reading and ya.

Word count - 1720

Warnings - none

Prompt 2 “your jealous aren't you.”

You weren’t amazing at chess. You knew that. Next to people like Beth Harmon and Benny watts you were well aware of the fact. But it was an interesting game which you did good enough when you put your mind to it that you had entered a few tournaments over the years just for the adrenaline rush. You’ve managed to build up to a good enough level that you were state champion for a while but it only lasted a little while.

You’ve known benny a while. And Beth too. You were closer with benny and for a time you thought maybe the pair of yous could become something more. But as soon as Beth came into the frame you lost his interest and you went back to just admiring him without him returning any ounce of feelings to you.

You met Beth in Mexico. Before the great loss against Borgov. You barely got past the second round and lost in the third but hey you weren’t to bothered. But you had noticed how often Beth appeared alone and you decided to see if she wanted company. She seemed to take to you fairly well and yous quickly became friends. After her mum died you comforted her for a little while before you both had to go home. You understood she needed a bit of time and you went to New York for a little. You’d called up benny in advance who wasn’t doing much that weekend so offered his living room.

Accepting the offer and hoping to get to spend some more time with the man you arrived outside his house at a quarter to midnight. Shattered out of your mind from travel. You came in and greeted him as an old friend before you sat down at his table that displayed his board and had a look to see what he was playing.

It took you a second before you realised he’d been playing Beths last game with borgov. It’s angered you a little bit you tried to not care.

“How was the trip Y/N? “ asked benny as he rounded the table to the kitchen for some glasses.

“Nothing special. How’ve you been keeping?” You yawned and watched as he poured you a glass of milk.

“Ah, you know. Not a lot to do around here. Just waiting for the next tournament as always. I hear you met with Beth Harmon. What do you think of her?” He asked. Placing the glasses in the microwave for you both.

“Of course. She seemed nice. We got along well enough. Shame about her mum though but her playing is beyond amazing.” You accepted the glass of warm milk as you spoke and failed to notice as he tensed at your praise of the redhead.

He pushed his hair back and sat down in front of you and watched for a second as you took a sip of your milk. Studying your face with admiration.

Leaning forward, elbows on the table, he leaned his face on hand, two fingers tapping his cheek. Something you noticed he did when he was in thought. You tossed him a quizzical look before questioning him.

“What?”

He took a breathe and held it for a second before speaking in a gentle tone. “You look tired. Are you okay? “

You chuckled at him. Thinking he was joking. “Well, Benny I have just got off a plane so of course, I’m tired.”

But he stopped you. “No. It’s more than that.” You didn’t know what to say and just stared at him confused. He cleared his throat and moved back and gestured at the board. Still set up with Beth's last match. And spoke, “care for a few speed games?”

You rolled your eyes. You rarely win against him at speed chess. You know he was only doing this to show off. But you indulged him and let him flex his bored muscles. Yous played about ten rounds, winning two and drawing one while the king in a loose black striped shirt won 7. And you were sure he was going easy on you but you didn’t mind. It’s still fun.

Once he was sure you knew who was the best player and had finished your warm milk he suggested time for bed. Which you gladly accepted. He left you with the blow-up but knew you were too stubborn to let him do it.

You said goodnight and melted into one of the comfy seats rather than taking the blow-up bed and found yourself involuntarily drifting to sleep where you sat.

.

.

.

You woke with a start as you were shaken awake. You were on the plane and the air hostess was shaking you awake. Clipping in before landing you looked out the window. You were landing in New York again. Only this time you weren’t going to stay at Benny's. Beth was there now.

It had been a few weeks or so since you last stayed. You smiled at the memory of being woken up by a laughing Benny cause you hadn’t made it into bed last time.

You were staying at a hotel a while from Bennys. There was a small tournament that you thought would be fun to go too.

After leaving New York last time you’d called up Beth to see how she was doing. She had Harry beltik with her so at least she wasn’t alone.

You ended up taking for hours. Going over matches verbally for the fun of it and discussing favourite theory’s. This turned into a habit every few days and yous both seemed to get along well.

She called when Harry decided to leave. You could tell she was upset but didn’t want to push it too much. She called before her match with Benny. After the losing rounds of speed chess and you told her not to worry. And she called when she beat him. And then the next day when she told you she was going to New York with him.

You were happy for then although a little sad you wouldn’t get to spend time with him but you understood why.

You had got there a few days earlier so when you heard cleo was in town you opted to spend some time with her.

It had been a week or so and you had been invited to benny's along with Cleo and some boys. You went and was happy to catch up with Beth and Cleo.

You didn’t notice a dismayed benny who was disappointed your attention wasn’t on him.

He thought he could win you over by playing Beth in speed chess but even then he lost spectacularly. You sat out for the games. Not feeling like losing today. But when you and Cleo applauded beths wins. You failed to see just how livid he was that she impressed you more.

He went to bed sourly that night. Tossing and turning. Unable to get the beaming pride for Beth he saw on your face as you clapped her and not him.

Your third match of the tournament had been the next day. Normally if you think your gonna struggle you call benny and get some advice while you listen to him speak. His voice soothing you from nerves even if you end up loosing. But he knew that the match was today and was subtly waiting for the phone to ring. However when it did this time Beth picked up and you felt that you’d annoyed benny enough over the years so you decided to talk to Beth instead.

She was fine with this. Beth is proud of being needed. However, she ( unlike you) noticed the way benny drummed his fingers on the counter and stared at her as she said the first few words “Oh, hello Y/N...”

she noticed as his pupils dilated and the drumming stopped.

He had expected her to hand him the phone after that but when she didn’t he couldn’t understand why. And when Beth started talking about the game you were about to play he could feel as something boiled in him. He was who you needed. Not Beth. Yes, Beth was better than him but you needed him. Benny like being able to give you that little bit of ease before a scary match.

He waited a little while longer in case Beth gave him the phone. Till he realised she wasn’t going too.

“Is that Y/N?” He questioned harshly.

Beth just nodded and continued the conversation.

Benny couldn’t take it. And marched over to stand in front of Beth. “What does she want?” He asked. Even though he knew.

“Well she’s got her match today and she said she was nervous,” Beth said deadpanning.

The look on Benny watts faces told Beth something was afoot. Then she realised and gave him a smug look as she said her next words slow and loud enough for Y/N to hear.

“Your jealous aren’t you?”

He froze for a moment. Realising what she said was right.

He barely registered as Beth spoke to you again apologizing “sorry Y/N. I’ve got a green ogre here that I’m going to pass you too. Good luck for the match. “

She preset to phone into his hand and moved for him to sit in her seat.

He held the phone to his ear to hear your voice and he frowned.

“Benny what’s wrong”

He paused thinking before speaking with an almost whiny tone.

“ you think you can drop me cause I was beaten by Beth Harmon at speed chess, no, uh uh. I'm here to stay Y/N L/N and I won’t sit back and let you go off to someone else. No. Your mine got it.”

You were speechless. You hadn’t realised benny felt like thins. He realised what he said.

“ well eh you know, your not my property that’s not what I mean. I just.”

He took a deep breath and spoke with confidence. “ I need you Y/N. You're like the queen to my king. I feel I’m nothing without you. So please don’t brush me off for someone better.”

You smiled over the phone and he could hear it in your voice. “ I’d never brush you off benny.”

He sighed in relief and smiled.

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

PLEASE UNBAN MY DEVIANTART ACCOUNT

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3Bs8OWc

by Adultswimlver

pls unban it i need it back

Words: 13, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Undertale (Video Game), Five Nights at Freddy's, Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game), Friday the 13th Series (Movies), Friday the 13th: The Game (Video Game), The Good Place (TV), The Good Wife (TV), The Good Doctor (TV 2017), WWE Immortals (Video Game), WWE 2K (Video Games), Orange is the New Black, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Attack Attack! (Band), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, The Owl House (Cartoon), The Loud House (Cartoon), Queen (Band), The Queen's Gambit (TV), Frog and Toad - Arnold Lobel, Steven Universe (Cartoon), My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, 小林さんちのメイドラゴン | Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon | Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, Dragon Age: Inquisition, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Owl City (Band), Gravity Falls, League of Legends, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner, The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, Minecraft (Video Game), Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series), Plants vs Zombies, House of Cards (US TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Justice (Cartoon), Justice League - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), D.C. 〜ダ・カーポ〜 | Da Capo, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Supergirl (TV 2015), American Idol RPF, Family Guy (Cartoon), Addams Family - All Media Types, Addams Family (TV 1964), The New Addams Family (TV), Camp Camp (Web Series), Total Drama (Cartoon), Regular Show (Cartoon), 約束のネバーラン��� | Yakusoku no Neverland | The Promised Neverland (Manga), Riviera: The Promised Land, Moana (2016), Mobile Legends: Bang Bang (Video Game), IT - Stephen King, Grand Theft Auto V, Grand Theft Auto Series (Video Games), asdfmovie (Cartoon), TLC (Band), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, Gideon's Daughter (2005), The Gideon Trilogy - Linda Buckley-Archer, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar (2009), One Direction (Band), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, ENA - Joel G (Web Series), Roblox (Video Game), Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Nintendogs, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, LOONA (Korea Band), iKON (Korea Band), Korean Actor RPF, The Cleveland Show, American Dad!, American Horror Story, Splatoon, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Amphibia (Cartoon), Deltarune (Video Game), Men in Black (Movies), Men in Black: The Series, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Pinky and the Brain, Hannah Montana (TV), Gossip Girl (TV 2007), Inside Out (2015), Among Us (Video Game), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Trek, The Amazing World of Gumball, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Anne with an E (TV), Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Garnet (Steven Universe), Amethyst (Steven Universe), Famethyst (Steven Universe), Amethyst(s) (Steven Universe), Holly Blue Agate (Steven Universe), Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl (Splatoon), White Diamond (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz | Pink Diamond, Pink Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Obsidian (Steven Universe), Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Sejin (BTS), Yeontan (BTS), Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Undyne (Undertale), Alphys (Undertale), Suzy (Undertale), Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Krista Lenz | Historia Riess' Husband, Ekrizdis (Harry Potter), Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Man in the Mirror (JoJo), Higashikata Josuke (JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable), Diavolo (JoJo), Adeku | Alder, Uraraka Ochako, Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Ymir Fritz, Ymir (Marvel), Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pieck Finger, Pieck Finger's Father, Pieck Finger's Mother, Hand Receptionist (Undertale), Hange Zoë, Jevil (Deltarune), Ralsei (Deltarune), Asriel Dreemurr, Lancer (Deltarune), Levi, Levi Ackerman, Mikasa Ackerman, Annie (Friday Night Funkin'), Annie Leonhart, Boyfriend (Friday Night Funkin'), Girlfriend (Friday Night Funkin'), Lois Griffin, Peter Griffin, Beth Harmon, Cleo (The Queen's Gambit), Benny (The Loud House), Benny Watts, Lincoln Loud, SpongeBob SquarePants, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, George Weasley, Fred Weasley, Molly Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Padparadscha (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Peridot (Steven Universe), Mean Lapis (Steven Universe), Nice Lapis (Steven Universe), Bismuth (Steven Universe), Luz Noceda, Amity Blight, Lilith Clawthorne, Frieda Berlin, Eda Clawthorne, Frieda Reiss, Petra Moritz, Petra Ral, Alex Park, Alex Vause, Piper Chapman, Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello, Dayanara "Daya" Diaz, Artesian McCullough, Daddy Dearest (Friday Night Funkin'), Dominga "Daddy" Duarte, Mommy Mearest (Friday Night Funkin'), Carol Denning, Barbara "Barb" Denning, James "Bucky" Barnes, Peter Parker, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Bell, Wanda Maximoff, Desi Piscatella, Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony), Rainbow Quartz (Steven Universe), Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony), Applejack (My Little Pony), Patrick Star, Towntrap (FNAF High School), Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie (Five Nights at Freddy's), Chica (Five Nights at Freddy's), Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Natemare (Mangled), The Mangle (Five Nights at Freddy's), Marionette | The Puppet, Mike Schmidt (Five Nights at Freddy's), Purple Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Michael Afton, Meg Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Chris Griffin (Family Guy), The Brain (Pinky and the Brain), Brian Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Michael (The Good Place), Janet (The Good Place), Trevor (The Good Place), Bad Janet (The Good Place), Nicole Watterson, Spinel (Steven Universe), Steven Universe, Connie Springer, Connie Maheswaran, Sasha Blouse, Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Bud Gleeful, Gideon Gleeful, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Reiner Braun

Relationships: Lois Griffin/Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin/Glenn Quagmire, Lois Griffin/Bonnie Swanson, Brian Griffin & Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin/Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin/Lois Griffin, Sans/Toriel (Undertale), Papyrus/Sans (Undertale), Chara/Frisk (Undertale), Chara/Asriel Dreemurr, Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Amethyst/Peridot (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl/Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl/Pink Diamond (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Hange Zoë/Reader, Pieck Finger/Hange Zoë, Pieck Finger/Porco Galliard, Pieck Finger/Reader, Pieck Finger/Yelena, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe), Mettaton/Papyrus (Undertale), Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne & Luz Noceda

Additional Tags: Vore, Cock Vore, Vore Predator Morality | Patton Sanders, Come Inflation, Inflation, Blueberry Inflation (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Sex Toys, Semi-Public Sex, Gay Sex, Public Sex, Phone Sex, Shower Sex, Car Sex, Drunk Sex, Rough Oral Sex, No Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Coital Cuddling, Accidental Cuddling, First Kiss, Forehead Kisses, New Year's Kiss, True Love's Kiss, Christmas, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - AlterFell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Human, B.A.R.F. | Binarily Augmented Retro Framing, Song: WAP (Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion), Bisexual B. J. Hunnicutt, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, No Smut, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Audio Format: Streaming, Stream of Consciousness, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Public Blow Jobs, Menstruation, Menstrual Sex, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Men Crying, Menstruation Kink, Wiccan Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, POV Dean Winchester, Face-Fucking, Fuck Or Die, Strap-Ons, Anal Fingering, Cock Rings, Vaginal Fingering, Fingerfucking, Mentions of Hello Kitty, Finger Sucking, Mood Swings, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Giant Spiders, Community: hd100, Anne Boonchuy Needs a Hug, Protective Anne Boonchuy

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3Bs8OWc

[javajunkieao3]

Benny/Beth Fic:  Landline

Benny is done with Beth Harmon.  Yeah, he helped her out in Russia, but that was different.  It was the Russians.  Helping her out was practically him doing his patriotic duty.  But, now the game is over and she's off taking her third or fourth curtain call, giving as many interviews as a Beatle, and he's back to forgetting her.  Beth Harmon had given him more grief in the few months they had spent together than the rest of his twenty-some years.  Good riddance.

Except, he still reads every article.  Listens to every interview.  When he goes into his front closet he sees that damn air mattress, and suddenly he’s thinking about the one time they made love on it instead of his bed, laughing when it popped a leak.  He doesn’t even know why he has the mattress anymore, but he doesn’t throw it away.  Just like he doesn’t throw away the scarf that she used to wear in her hair.  He found it under his bed a week after she left and stuffed it in the top of his dresser.  Each time he took it out it got pushed further back into the drawer, suppressed much like his own feelings.

“You could call her,” Cleo offers one afternoon.  She says it casually between puffs of her cigarette, like it isn’t an entirely preposterous suggestion.  Which, it is.  

“I don’t want to call her.”

Cleo tips her head back and sighs, “Why are men so dimwitted?”  He doesn’t know who she’s supposed to be talking to.  It’s only them in the apartment.  She sets him with a look and says, “You want to call her, Benny.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.  Because you love her.  And when you love someone, you always want to call.”  She takes another drag of her cigarette, flicking her bangs away from her eyes.  “Look, I’ll be the first to say I always thought you were too in love with yourself to love anyone else.  In fact, I have said that.  But, Benny, darling, you are in love.”

He begins to say that she is wrong, but he can’t finish the sentence.  Instead he goes into Cleo’s purse and pulls out her pack of cigarettes.  As he lights himself one, Cleo says, “You better replace that.”

“Even if I did love her, it doesn’t matter,” Benny says, taking a quick drag from the cigarette.  “She could have called all this time.  She hasn’t.”

“What is it you said last time you two spoke just by yourselves?”  Cleo asks slowly.  “Don’t call again?”

“I wasn’t in the wrong.  She drank herself in a stupor and then just thought I would be there for her like nothing had happened.”

“It’s complicated,” Cleo concedes.  “But, are you really happy sitting here not calling her?”

---

Nearly 700 miles away in Lexington, Kentucky, Beth sits at her kitchen table with Jolene and asks her, “You’ve been in love, right?”

Jolene looks over at her with surprise.  “Well, I sure as shit better be considering I’m about to get married.”

Beth grins.  The lawyer at Jolene’s office had actually left his wife, as promised, and he and Jolene were set to be married later that year.

“I thought I was before,” Beth says, wrapping her hand around a mug of tea.  It’s orange pekoe, one of the rare traditions she kept of her childhood.  “And maybe I was.  How do you know?”

Jolene takes a deep breath.  “I guess you just sort of do.  Like you know those chess moves of yours.”

Beth immediately shakes her head and says, “No, chess I understand.  This doesn’t make sense.”

Jolene leans back in her chair, a smile ghosting on her mouth, and she says, “Who are you in love with?”

“It’s no one,” Beth says quickly.

“No, see you don’t get to pull that shit with me,” Jolene says, leaning forward. “You forget that I know you.  So, spit it out.”

There’s no use fighting Jolene, so Beth tells her, “Benny Watts.  But, I don’t even know if I actually love him.”

“If you have to ask the question, the answer is yes,” Jolene says sagely.  “So, this Benny guy.  Does he have a phone?”

“He does,” Beth says, taking a sip of tea.  

“I don’t see the problem then.”

“We have a sort of complicated past,” Beth says.  “And it seemed like maybe things were getting better after Russia, but I haven’t heard from him.”

“Well then, how about you pick up the phone yourself and call him?”  Beth isn’t convinced, and Jolene says, “It’s 1969, Beth.  It’s time to woman up.”

---

Over the ensuing week, Benny and Beth both consider calling the other and both decide against it.  They make excuses.  Compelling ones, too.  They create entire arguments for why calling was not the right move and, besides, if the other one really wanted to talk to them so damn much, they could pick up the phone.

And then one night they both decide to call, except Beth does it five seconds sooner and Benny starts with surprise when the phone rings below his hand.  He picks up the phone and says, “Hello?”

“Benny.”

“Beth.”

In that moment, they both forget everything they had planned on saying, but Beth can hear the way his breath quickens and so can he .  Benny can almost picture her twisting the phone cord around her finger in the nervous way she did.  There is something oddly intimate about being on a landline, listening to someone else breath, and it has to be that which makes Benny say what he says next.  

“You know, Cleo said something funny a few days ago,” Benny says.  “She said I’m in love with you.  Which is ridiculous.”

Beth has to catch her breath before she says, “It’s funny, my friend Jolene thinks I’m in love with you, too.  It’s totally ridiculous.”

They talk well into the night, Beth bringing the phone over with her to the couch, stretching the cord nearly to its breaking point, and curls up against the arm of the couch.  She falls asleep while they are still talking and wakes up to a knock on her door.  The phone is off the hook and she places it back in the cradle, propping it on the end table.  She doesn’t glance in the mirror as she walks by, but wishes she had when she opens the door and sees him.

“Benny?”

He answers with a kiss, his arms winding around her waist.  When they pull apart she sees how tired he looks, but his eyes are bright.

“Did you drive all night?”

“There wasn’t a flight until this afternoon,” he says, smoothing her hair away fro her face.  “I didn’t want to wait that long.”

Somehow, it seemed perfectly in character for Benny to decide on a dime to drive across the country.  

“So, you’re here.”

“Yeah, I am.”

Beth doesn’t hesitate before kissing him again, nudging the door shut behind him.

** I am going to run out of ways for them to reunite soon, but until then, I hope you keep enjoying these! **

[dacuslucy]

Okay but theres nothing straight in the way beth looks at cleo-

"Quit distracting her"

"Shes not"

HUHU EXCUSE ME MISS HELLO THE WAY YOU ARE LOOKING AT HER, ID SAY SHES VERY DISTRACTING-

IM DISTRACTED BY CLEO FOR SURE-

[thanksforthedinosaur]

international year of plant health

hi. i made a playlist of a snapshot of the stuff i’ve listened to this year if you’re looking for some recommendations! xoxo mae

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VkfnggwpC1TEj2wsaHyZr?si=4JJd6Z-kRoCHuHypRtWK3g

1. little simz - might bang, might not 2. jean deaux - recipe! 3. logic - open mic\\aquarius iii 4. spittzwell - the lesson 5. ivy sole - kismet 6. vel the wonder - fine art 7. megan thee stallion - shots fired 8. kari faux - look at that 9. rico nasty - own it 10. flo milli - beef flomix 11. kodie shane - 2 many 12. kali uchis - ¡aquí yo mando! 13. tkay maidza - shook 14. bree runway - atm 15. yung baby tate - i am 16. almondmilkhunni - grapefruit 17. princess nokia - soul food y adobo 18. bosco - attention 19. kiana ledé - movin. 20. diamond white - secondhand 21. queen naija - i’m her 22. danileigh - mistreated 23. parisalexa - 2 optimistic 24. qveen herby - farewell 25. jhené aiko - p*$$y fairy (otw) 26. chloe x halle - forgive me 27. kehlani - water 28. umi - pretty girl hi! 29. rimon - i shine, u shine 30. disclosure - birthday 31. phora - cupid's curse 32. roy ayers - synchronize vibration 33. thundercat - unrequited love 34. thelonious coltrane - perfect timing 35. [ k s r ] - passion 36. alina baraz - more than enough 37. alayna - glowing 38. savannah cristina - self love 39. paloma ford - rain 40. nakala - she interlude ii 41. orion sun - lightning 42. jaz karis - hold you 43. cleo sol - when i'm in your arms 44. keiyaa - do yourself a favor 45. alicia keys - me x 7 46. yazmin lacey - morning matters 47. be steadwell - succulent 48. daniela andrade - k.l.f.g. 49. yung lean - dogboy 50. bladee - sun 51. blackwinterwells - algae 52. sullii - moonlight 53. misogi - heart chained 54. aminé - talk 55. tobi lou - lingo starr: drunken master 56. busta rhymes - look over your shoulder 57. 2 chainz - southside hov 58. atmosphere - the future is disgusting 59. meltycanon - moody blues 60. alfred. - sheeshfred 61. love-sadkid - ephemeral 62. jay squared - vision like you! 63. tuamie - you needed time you said 64. oatmello - blue 65. wun two - a noite 66. kuranes - calm 67. omaure - drama 68. dust and moonlight - sleeping or sinking 69. phlocalyst - image 70. ocha - r33 71. sugi.wa - love u 72. palm - memories of winter 73. goosetaf - tripwire 74. bryzone_ybp - the count 75. orancha - smoky banana 76. evil needle - midnight 77. eevee - romance 78. chief. - can't explain 79. ngyn - aerith 80. fujitsu - move on 81. meitei - nami 82. swum - breezy 83. chris mazuera - perspective 84. jinsang - maybe 85. tesk - cascades 86. saib - nautica 87. mf eistee - uprising 88. kaskade - when you’re dreaming 89. tatsuya maruyama - love you - lo-fi remix 90. towerz - before i gave in 91. baechulgi - abyss 92. underbelly - glitchwater 93. notsure - icecoffee 94. yutaka hirasaka - arise 95. akisai - ecossaise 96. nom tunes - missing piece 97. sweet dove - on the viewless wings 98. park bird - new place, same people 99. city girl - ji-eun's favorite 100. katie dey - loving 101. mary lattimore - sometimes he's in my dreams 102. teen daze - peaceful groove 103. pacific coliseum - turquoise 104. tycho - outer sunset 105. [.que] - glimmer 106. lights & motion - separated hearts 107. roger eno - celeste 108. talsounds - opening 109. alva noto - xerrox voyage 110. 36 - stasis sounds for long-distance space travel (stage 2) 111. stan forebee - bedscape 112. daniel avery - illusion of time 113. arbee - 2sum - charlie dreaming remix 114. okada takuro - waterfront (up-01) 115. gabriel ólafs - lóa - bing & ruth rework 116. warmth - the creek - mixed 117. rhucle - rev 118. com truise - surf 119. sarah davachi - still lives 120. gastón arévalo - sur les traces des explorateurs 121. peter bark - ascension 122. kara-lis coverdale - flutter 123. totally enormous extinct dinosaurs - brockley 124. green-house - peperomia seedling 125. four tet - green 126. morimoto naoki - aru 127. kaitlyn aurelia smith - remembering 128. dj python - te conocí 129. ocoeur - glow 130. christina vantzou - snow white 131. alonefold - strange rainbows 132. savoir adore - dancing temples 133. tengger - water 134. suzanne ciani - a sonic womb pt. 3 135. mogwai - major treat 136. this will destroy you - entrance 137. sleepmakeswaves - time wants a skeleton 138. elsa hewitt - rebird 139. ulla - i think my tears have become good 140. aether - she isn't here 141. zoe polanski - the last frontier 142. lyra pramuk - witness 143. ana roxanne - a study in vastness 144. julianna barwick - nod 145. the leaf library - about minerals 146. gia margaret - barely there 147. lucy gooch - my lights kiss your thoughts every moment 148. briana marela - forgiveness 149. loma - homing 150. mree - open arms 151. ellis - saturn return 152. alexia avina - fit into 153. fenne lily - to be a woman pt. 1 154. noble oak - evaporate 155. mint julep - blinded 156. rush week - best laid plans 157. mini trees - slip away 158. winter - bem no fundo 159. yumi zouma - cool for a second 160. laura veirs - burn too bright 161. terry vs. tori - keepsake box 162. castlebeat - shoulder 163. candace - still phase 164. tiny deaths - if i'm dreaming 165. lydia - heavy 166. caspian - nostalgist 167. nova one - lovable 168. corey flood - heaven or 169. hazel english - off my mind 170. bantug - dizzy 171. tops - colder & closer 172. the hidden shelf - miracles 173. ruru - 99 174. widowspeak - even true love 175. cheerleader - providence 176. wild nothing - blue wings 177. deradoorian - corsican shores 178. strfkr - second hand 179. mint field - contingencia 180. ringo deathstarr - god help the one's you love 181. no joy - dream rats 182. white poppy - orchid child 183. keeps - swiggum 184. flung - firstly zested 185. the bilinda butchers - rie 186. sipper - kid 187. radiator hospital - imposter syndrome 188. addy - equinox 189. boyo - dogma 190. alexandra savior - the archer 191. phoebe bridgers - chinese satellite 192. soccer mommy - circle the drain 193. routine - numb enough 194. quarter-life crisis - comfortable 195. madeline kenney - sucker 196. layne - linnea 197. wilsen - align 198. pynkie - you 199. bandanna - ghost home 200. waxahatchee - can’t do much 201. crisman - portrait 202. liza anne - i wanna be there 203. purr - gates of cool 204. honey cutt - hung up on me 205. the beths - out of sight 206. the ophelias - grand canyon 207. sjowgren - flip phones 208. haim - gasoline 209. thanya iyer - i forget to drink water (balance) 210. sad13 - good grief 211. porridge radio - give/take 212. lannds - not in a good way 213. katie von schleicher - wheel 214. hey cowboy! - detective farmer brown 215. tombo crush - pink 216. eliza moon - tell me / why'd you 217. anna mcclellan - raisin 218. this is the kit - this is what you did 219. snarls - walk in the woods 220. blushh - deal with it 221. long neck - cicada 222. chloe moriondo - ghost adventure spirit orb 223. momma - biohazard 224. varsity - runaway 225. land of talk - footnotes 226. bully - stuck in your head 227. diet cig - stare into the sun 228. expert timing - gravity 229. slow pulp - track 230. maddie jay - shakes 231. beabadoobee - together 232. luna aura - crash dive 233. sorry - perfect 234. torres - good grief 235. partner - honey 236. beauty queen - this time around 237. maggie lindemann - knife under my pillow 238. bryde - paper cups 239. mundy's bay - sleep away the summer 240. squirrel flower - red shoulder 241. mourn - stay there 242. dream wife - so when you gonna... 243. illuminati hotties - superiority complex (big noise) 244. l.a. witch - true believers 245. hinds - burn 246. beach bunny - cuffing season 247. suzie true - idk u 248. bacchae - hammer 249. peach kelli pop - stupid girl 250. oceanator - heartbeat 251. pins - read my lips 252. best coast - different light 253. muncie girls - take steps 254. kailee morgue - this is why i'm hot 255. beach slang - let it ride 256. silverstein - take what you give 257. new found glory - scarier than jason voorhees at a campfire 258. the lawrence arms - quiet storm 259. mikey erg - bon voyage 260. pet symmetry - had a name, don't remember it 261. thank you, i'm sorry - backpack life 262. ratboys - alien with a sleep mask on 263. joyce manor - leather jacket 264. jeff rosenstock - scram! 265. the aquabats! - aliens and monsters! 266. the used - the lighthouse 267. hidden hospitals - how amazing 268. dikembe - all got sick 269. time spent driving - trust no 1 270. the casket lottery - more blood 271. record setter - someplace 272. emma ruth rundle - out of existence 273. gulfer - blurry 274. options - don't mind 275. i love your lifestyle - stupid 276. orchards - stealing your sleep 277. no tongues for quiet people - lake house lake house 278. into it. over it. - hollow halos 279. mountains for clouds - full disclosure 280. joan of arc - destiny revision 281. no thank you - saturn return 282. the front bottoms - camouflage 283. ride your bike - make like a tom and cruise 284. dragon inn 3 - yer brothers 285. the goalie’s anxiety at the penalty kick - jars filled with rain 286. mansions - laser beams 287. waveform* - hello goodbye 288. owen - headphoned 289. cassino - tacoma 290. ajj - normalization blues 291. penelope scott - sweet hibiscus tea 292. angel olsen - (new love) cassette 293. trace mountains - fallin' rain 294. johanna warren - part of it 295. frances quinlan - lean 296. tomberlin - hours 297. samia - triptych 298. field medic - better way 299. adrianne lenker - my angel 300. jack m. senff - another day 301. lomelda - polyurethane 302. rosie carney - high and dry 303. brigid mae power - i had to keep my circle small 304. overcoats - new shoes 305. anna burch - not so bad 306. hop along, queen ansleis - the cactus 307. mandy moore - easy target 308. laura marling - held down 309. lisa loeb - doesn't it feel good 310. trixie mattel - gold 311. lilly hiatt - move 312. molly tuttle - sunflower, vol. 6 313. sarah jarosz - pay it no mind 314. katie heckel - help you mend 315. katie pruitt - my mind’s a ship (that’s going down) 316. in love with a ghost - trans rights 317. snail's house - imaginary express 318. isuka hino - dreamin' adventure!! 319. 4s4ki - nexus 320. lapix - loneliness 321. you - painter 322. aice room - dreary planet - yukiyanagi remix 323. zekk - oxygen 324. lu-i - loved happiness 325. synthion - volt switch 326. sanaas - polestar - junk remix 327. mameyudoufu - fluffy 328. awfuless - redemption 329. rejection - around you 330. toriena - getting into a pose 331. cosmo@bousoup - mow*mow*abduction!!! 332. yunosuke - ziqqurat 333. android52 - lovin', scratchin' 334. サクラsakura-lee - nobody else 335. desired - emotions 336. mikazuki bigwave - sakimashita bloomin'!! 337. skule toyama - smooth 338. adrianwave - goodbye 339. macross 82-99 - melt 340. cape coral - 707 hotline 341. 80kidz - heat 342. night tempo - baby 343. yaffle - lng, before 344. greyl - let me be with you 345. serph - palmtop tiger 346. happy kuru kuru - natsu no hi no labyrinth 347. couple n - earmie 348. airuei - magic sign 349. somunia - non player girl - nyankobrq 2p ver. 350. cosmicosmo - those that we once loved 351. maeshima soshi - the terminal 352. kijibato - 1room 353. yuc'e - ghost town 354. neko hacker - erased 355. jam2go - apotrope 356. mizuki ohkawa - cosmic cleft 357. singto conley - flora 358. 2tonedisco - shoelaces 359. cy8er - もしもしじゃぽん 360. nayuta - connect 361. t+pazolite - himitsu cult 362. milkoi - higher, higher, and then... 363. freezer - caramel rain (sanaas remix) 364. kotonohouse - pitter, patter 365. aika - superstar 366. yukiyanagi - love overdose 367. nanahira - twinkle password 368. ducky - hyper bloxxd 369. porter robinson - something comforting 370. moshimo - シンクロ 371. bish - スーパーヒーローミュージック 372. scenarioart - it's all right 373. base ball bear - ポラリス(c3 mix) 374. majiko - エスカルゴ 375. akaiko-en - ジャンキー 376. the peggies - weekend 377. lovely summer chan - more light 378. polkadot stingray - sp813 379. shishamo - フェイバリットボーイ 380. aimer - run riot 381. österreich - i'll take you everywhere 382. sora tob sakana - 夜間飛行 383. the shes gone - ふためぼれ 384. aimyon - marshmallow 385. cö shu nie - supercell 386. kensei ogata - violin case 387. せだい - yellownola 388. yonige - ��かるいみらい 389. bearwear - i think 390. hitsujibungaku - ロックスター 391. cidergirl - 飛行船 392. room97 - faq 393. she's - ugly 394. bbhf - tokenai mahou 395. alisa takigawa - 夢 396. satomoka - glints 397. radwimps - shinsekai 398. pinoko - コリドー街 399. helsinki lambda club - you are my gravity 400. lucky kilimanjaro - 君とつづく 401. dish// - sauna song 402. zombie-chang - snooze 403. mizuki ohira - 無重力 404. みゆな - 歌おうよ 405. iri - come back to my city 406. aya a.k.a panda - i miss u 407. chelmico - disco (bad dance doesn't matter) 408. seiko oomori - 絶対彼女 409. yaeji - my imagination 상상 410. daoko - zukizuki 411. eill - night d 412. cifika - déjà vu 413. yeye - step in time 414. saevom - just like i dreamed then 415. cheeze - today's mood 416. stella jang - reality blue 417. younha - one day of twenty 418. jeong eun ji - whoo 419. fromm - aliens 420. crush - tip toe 421. heize - 1/1440 422. femm - level up 423. awich - poison 424. jessi - nunu nana 425. (g)i-dle - luv u 426. summer soul - tinder 427. taeyeon - worry free love 428. boa - l.o.v.e 429. fromis_9 - feel good (secret code) 430. faky - re:chase me 431. monsta x - night view 432. twice - up no more 433. loona - hide & seek 434. wjsn - pantomime 435. iz*one - fiesta 436. exid - ddd jpn ver. 437. gfriend - crème brûlée 438. april - lalalilala 439. weki meki - 100 facts (cool eng. ver.) 440. momoland - starry night 441. steve aoki - play it cool 442. bts - dynamite 443. sakurako ohara - shine on me 444. sumin - zaza♡ 445. onepixcel - lagrima 446. little glee monster - i feel the light 447. celeina ann - purikura 448. アイラヴミー - そのまんま勇者 449. okkyung lee - here we are (once again) 450. luca - lune 451. hakushi hasegawa - hikari no rock 452. haruka nakamura - your sonnet 453. itoko toma - shade 454. rina katahira - hoshizora* 455. ichiko aoba - easter lily 456. satoko shibata - 変な島 457. 角銅真実 - 6月の窓 458. 熊川みゆ - sixteen 459. 眉村ちあき - 緑のハイヒール 460. 竹内アンナ - striking gold 461. saucy dog - film 462. kaede - -ending- night blue 463. aseul - paradise 464. 박혜진 park hye jin - like this 465. charlotte is mine - road movie 466. plastic plastic - ฮัม - (hum) 467. clams - shiny rider 468. seventeen years old and berlin wall - no paradise 469. nuit - nightbirds 470. fulusu - ghost 471. rammells - sennengo 472. stargaze shelter - emulation (mode:totonee) 473. ヨルシカ - 昼鳶 474. nakamuraemi - 大人の言うことを聞け 475. kenshi yonezu - ひまわり 476. tk from ling tosite sigure - reframe 477. penguinrush - 色彩 478. lee jin ah - candy pianist 479. mei ehara - どちらにピントを 480. jizue - because 481. mouse on the keys - room 482. fox capture plan - stand my heroes - groove version 483. ryutist - girls 484. yeti let you notice - bouquet 485. tricot - 真っ黒 486. madison cunningham - giraffe 487. covet - atreyu 488. floral - maybe not one day 489. envy - eternal memories and reincarnation 490. baths - mikaela corridor 491. sufjan stevens - run away with me 492. fractures - feel 493. the 1975 - frail state of mind 494. dan mason ダン·メイソン - everytime i cry 495. brothertiger - cannonball 496. porches - rangerover - bonus track 497. tame impala - instant destiny 498. washed out - paralyzed 499. pink skies - portland 500. so below - bone 501. purity ring - silkspun 502. llll - breathless 503. slow magic - somewhere 504. kasbo - lune 505. cloudnone - let the music in 506. jody wisternoff - blue space 507. drama - hold on 508. satin jackets - meridian getaway 509. direct - opal 510. lane 8 - road 511. baile - jlm 512. yuni wa - starships 513. nora van elken - sakura 514. geotheory - the day i left you 515. yota - hazy paradise 516. spencer brown - chance on us 517. the avener - conscious shadows 518. kalbells - mothertime 519. bella boo - in love 520. kirara magic - neon 521. mija - digressions 522. cuushe - emergence 523. transviolet - rituals 524. keep shelly in athens - steady to go 525. young ejecta - ah ha 526. annie - in heaven 527. lany - good guys 528. dominic pierce - glad xoxo 529. tender - what you're missing 530. alice jemima - binge love you 531. kitty - baby pink 532. faye meana - like honey 533. lunadira - am i gonna die? 534. loony - white lie 535. justine skye - fav 536. wafia - good things 537. victoria monét - jaguar 538. malia civetz - love thing 539. keiynan lonsdale - i confess my love 540. deaton chris anthony - tuethday 541. kallitechnis - body&soul (ish d remix) 542. talitha. - ineedsomeone 543. keke palmer - thick 544. kesha - birthday suit 545. l.e.j - pas l'time 546. selena gomez - rare 547. the aces - daydream 548. jessie ware - mirage (don’t stop) 549. joan - try again 550. melanie c - blame it on me 551. astrid s - dance dance dance 552. little mix - holiday 553. justin bieber - yummy 554. ariana grande - positions 555. bea miller - feel something different 556. lady gaga - rain on me (with ariana grande) 557. raye - regardless 558. the weeknd - hardest to love 559. andrea valle - lovergirl 560. k/da - the baddest 561. allie x - susie save your love 562. terror jr - dinner plate 563. shawn wasabi - halo halo 564. benee - snail 565. sevdaliza - oh my god 566. gupi - modest 567. six impala - sweetsweetsweetlikebubblegum 568. charli xcx - i finally understand 569. golin - hanakotoba 570. shygirl - freak 571. madge - ethanol 572. arca - afterwards 573. kelly lee owens - re-wild 574. ari mason - pangaea 575. gabrielle aplin - dear happy 576. taylor swift - the 1 577. awfultune - buds 578. sneaks - scorpio on your side 579. izzy camina - kill your local indie softboy 580. mxmtoon - ok on your own 581. wens - giant bat 582. billie eilish - my future 583. tash - when you leave 584. fletcher - the one 585. silver sphere - ghosts! 586. tei shi - ok crazy 587. dounia - sucked all the fun 588. tatiana hazel - carmen sandiego 589. magdalena bay - killshot 590. kllo - insomnia 591. leisure suite - closer 592. morgan saint - i dreamt that i knew you 593. ayelle - got love 594. michi - escondida 595. lyrica anderson - lyfted 596. sasha sloan - lie 597. niki - plot twist 598. sarah reeves - heart first 599. salt cathedral - caviar 600. chelsea cutler - sad tonight 601. rituals of mine - heights 602. e^st - flight path 603. sara diamond - great together 604. phem - stfu 605. carlie hanson - daze inn 606. lauren aquilina - latest ghost 607. caroline rose - command z 608. misterwives - oxygen 609. ella vos - turbulence 610. austra - i am not waiting 611. triathalon - you 612. phoebe ryan - icimy 613. katzù oso - kiss u better 614. luwten - control 615. raveena - heartbeat 616. oohyo - 2020 617. oklou - another night 618. jouska - bring you back 619. fleur east - easy to love 620. soft glas - overbite 621. jaden - muted sunrise 622. snny - better to leave it 623. saint mela - alkaseltzer 624. mia gladstone - ego 625. helena deland - truth nugget 626. oh wonder - oceansize 627. steven padin - sashimi 628. kacey johansing - i try 629. treasureseason - spinning plate 630. landshapes - drama 631. tennis - matrimony ii 632. pomplamoose - morning waterbug 633. soko - being sad is not a crime 634. the big moon - barcelona 635. shamir - diet 636. knox fortune - static 637. carly rae jepsen - let's sort the whole thing out 638. real estate - the main thing 639. hayley williams - roses/lotus/violet/iris 640. nada surf - something i should do 641. bombay bicycle club - is it real 642. the seshen - faster than before 643. thao & the get down stay down - how could i 644. marla hansen - path 645. christine and the queens - la vita nuova 646. half waif - siren 647. malena zavala - ritmo de vida 648. bendik - himmelen 649. hanna järver - kalmar slott 650. frida sundemo - anything 651. kate nv - telefon 652. ambar lucid - questioning my mind 653. coco reilly - mirror 654. ghostly kisses - lydian 655. kacy hill - told me 656. lianne la havas - can't fight 657. donna missal - how does it feel 658. felivand - gone 659. jordana - divine 660. empress of - void 661. banoffee - ripe 662. vanessa carlton - i can't stay the same 663. fiona apple - heavy balloon 664. poppy - concrete 665. rina sawayama - stfu!

[rgr-pop]

I need an ENTIRE afternoon wall of noise. 4/3 music library on shuffle until I hit a killdozer song.

the thermals - “god and country” reset - "double cross" nirvana - "polly" (1986-88 home recording) nirvana - "radio friendly unit shifter" (2013 mix) peterbuilt - "sateliteyes" the dickies - "got it at the store" apocalypse hoboken - "box of pills" fiona apple - "slow like honey" tex & the horseheads - "big boss man" everclear - "the drama king" anti-flag - "america got it right" neil young - "tonight's the night, pt. ii" everclear - "brown-eyed girl" noooooooooo oh my god no please millencolin - “israelites" listen you know that i'm p tolerant when it comes to this subject but why specifically did you boys do this. specifically you useless id - "note" never accuse me of pop punk nationalism again! that's three of global pop punk the selecter - "selling out your future" built to spill - "some things last a long time" holidays - "proof" let's wrestle - "bad mammaries" radhos - "one breath" ween - "boing" bracket - "g-vibe" local h - "'cha!' said the kitty" sublime - "40oz to freedom" failure - "saturday saviour" blink-182 - "don't leave me" (tmtts live take) why did they make this live album, they were so bad live shrimp boat - "melon song" interpol - "not even jail" the ataris - "angry nerd rock" 50 million - "superhero" skankin pickle - "violent love" the breeders - "put on a side" all - "honey peeps" the commandos (suicide commandos) - "weekend warrior" suicide machines - "friends are hard to find" the eclectics - "laura" good ska block! love this band pansy division - "jack u off" rocket from the tombs - "ain't it fun" dynamite boy - "devoted" young pioneers - "downtown tragedy" the breeders - "so sad about us" fenix tx - "jean claude trans am" fuck i love this song nofx - "bob" hickey - "happily ever after" bob dylan - "tangled up in blue" (bootlegs vol. 2) gas huffer - "king of hubcaps" tullycraft - "crush this town" atom and his package - "goalie" faith no more - "the real thing" carly rae jepsen - "tell me" bis - "listen up" one direction - "still the one" mtx - "she's no rocket scientist" eugene chadbourne - "roger miller medley" grouvie ghoulies - "carly simon" white town - "thursday at the blue note" gas huffer - "moon mission" rx bandits - "sleepy tyme" everclear - "rocket for the girl" failure - "kindred" blood on the saddle - "johnny's at the fair" the distillers - "red carpet and rebellion" cruiserweight - "dearest drew" stp - "plush" everclear - "wonderful" (live, from the closure ep) (don't hate it) new found glory - "sonny" everclear - "otis redding" (impure white evil demo) (BEST song) stp - "adhesive" incubus - "have you ever" cub - "tell me now" everclear - "short blonde hair" i simply do not hate it letters to cleo - "happy ever after" amazing transparent man - “the ocean is a fuck of a long way to swim” nerf herder - “(stand by your) manatee” kitty kitty - “ab tokeless” osker - “the mistakes you made” perfume genius - “hood” radhos - “shut up & deal” (welcome to the jungle take) osker - “the body”  gas huffer - “the sin of sloth” the fall - “bombast” excuse 17 - “code red” mad season - “lifeless dead” unwritten law - “differences” hanson - “two tears” the eyeliners - “anywhere but here” moby grape - “lazy me” brian wilson - “wonderful” 88 fingers louie - “something i don’t know” sicko - “wisdom tooth weekend” the replacements - “love you till friday” suicide machines - “green world” midtown - “another boy” hickey - “cool kids attacked by flying monkeys” the roman invasion suite - “carnations” the beat - “tears of a clown” local h - “24 hour break up session” okay i’m awake i want to end this now toots & the maytals - “funky kingston” local h - “strict-9″ his name is alive - “her eyes were huge things” nirvana - “frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle” slapstick - “almost punk enough” urge overkill - “bionic revolution” janet jackson - “you want this” piebald - “long nights” small brown bike - “now i’m a shadow” the story so far - “left unsaid” crj - “more than a memory” tracy + the plastics - “my friends end parties” liz phair - “6′1″“ fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ this mix is feminist now swindle - “one track” shockabilly - “burma shave” temple of the dog - “say hello to heaven” amazing transparent man - “shove” cool soul asylum cover from dekalb illinois :)) the vindictives “eating me alive” midwests only!! the judys - “radiation squirm” gulfs only!! frogpond - “sleep” flipp - “rock-n-roll star” throwing muses - “red shoes” everclear - “santa monica” throwing muses on summerland??? mekons - “atone & forsaken” holidays - “take me home country roads” this is a good tone to lead up to killdozer... true believers - “all mixed up again” prince - “adore” beulah - “queen of the populists” eveclear - “rocky mountain high” (99x live acoustic--I don’t have a date for this actually) of montreal - “dustin hoffman thinks about eating the soap” heatmiser - “stray” rickie lee jones - “woody and dutch on the slow train to peking” tar - “viaduct removal” common rider - “carry on” the frogs - “u bastards” mudhoney - “this gift” hammerbox - “outside” fuck my mom would have loved this song if it had gotten the airplay it deserved in 1993... hammerbox on summerland!!!! letters to cleo - “little rosa” kay hanley on summerland!! nine pound hammer “wrongside of the road” hanson - “with you in your dreams” (3cg demo) hamson on summerland!!! fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ again... fastbacks on summerland!!! face to face - “sensible” soul asylum - “happy” soul asylum on summerland!!!! television - “see no evil” pinq - “careful not to mention the obvious” the dickies - “nights in white satin” tar - “mel’s” truly - “chlorine” babes in toyland - “deep song” hole - “berry” hellbender - “half driven” hammerhead  - “new york? ...alone?” everclear - “malevolent” guzzard - “last”  archers of loaf - “tatyana” hum - “stars” hum on summerland die kreuzen - “don’t say please” this is not fair joanna newsom - “sadie” down by law - “peace, love and understanding” nirvana - “aneurysm” (1990 demo) hovercraft - “endoradiosonde” modest mouse - “cowboy dan” rage against the machine - “born of a broken man” skatalites - “scandal ska” pylon - “driving school” the vindictives - “babysitter” jimmy eat world - “ten” the get up kids - “lowercase west thomas” oh we’re doing this now? hot rod circuit - “knees” fine triple fast action - “the rescue” FINE  full disclosure i do skip emo diaries tracks at my discretion the amps - “bragging party” everclear - “am radio” this is not fair mxpx - “middlename” MXPX ON SUMMERLAND chokebore - “your let down” bob dylan - “you’re a big girl now” helmet - “primitive” pond - “filterless” blink-182 - “all the small things” local h - “ralph” tar - “over and out” pearl jam - “black” the gits - “sniveling little rat faced git” local h - “eddie vedder” >:) tar - “flow plow” i always misremember this as a subpop single so i’m like “i’m not amphetamine reptile biased?” but it was an a/r release, lol. brad wood produced it. lake michigan as hell  unicorns - “jellybones” this song makes me sad ever since i didn’t get to adopt the jellybones cat oblivion - “clark” desmond dekker - “jeserene” veruca salt - “one last time” veruca salt on summerland!!!! dead moon - “dead moon night” extremely dead moon on summerland fishbone - “i like to hide behind my glasses” dead moon - “on my own” paw - “sleeping bag” tar - “goethe” doc dart - “casket with flowers” smashing pumpkins - “zero” i don’t want billy corgan on summerland and i am sorry for that kicking giant - “&” kicking giant on summerland lmao shockabilly - “pile up all architecture” ween - “sorry charlie” sublime - “april 29, 1992 (miami)” heatmiser - “blackout” the clash - “pressure drop” hellbender - “pissant’s retrospective” the queers - “i won’t be” the vindictives - “circles” the beat farmers - “selfish heart” screaming trees - “end of the universe” 7 year bitch - “second hand” bourgeois filth - “above” nirvana - “scoff” the breeders - “cannonball” saturday looks good to me - “save my life” cara beth satalino - “good ones” communique - “dagger version” soul asylum - “sometime to return” sublime - “jailhouse” tullycraft - “twee” nuns - “wild” beyonce - “countdown” the replacements - “sixteen blue” living colour - “what’s your favorite color” britney - “why should i be sad” mdc - “church and state” alice in chains - “junkhead” rage against the machine - “mic check” everclear - “nervous and weird” soundgarden - “fresh tendrils” helmet - “army of me” the gits - “it all dies anyway” pansy division - “smells like queer spirit” mtx - “i’d do anything for you” 5 year sentence - “just a punk” pennywise - “nothing” mudhoney - “thirteenth floor opening” yesterday’s kids - “eighteen” mxpx - “punk rawk show” small brown bike - “zerosum” incubus - “trouble in 421″ hanson - “speechless” incubus - “circles” dead moon - “my time has come” (!!!!) first of all is this killdozer blink-182 - “here’s your letter” everclear - “electra made me blind” (nervous & weird take) saves the day - “through being cool” groovie ghoulies - “don’t go out into the rain (you’re gonna melt)” babes in toyland - “never” husker du - “target” guzzard - “biro” fairweather - “next day flight” mcr - “house of wolves” broadcast - “until then” liz phair - “never said” the dicks - “rich daddy” quasi - “the iron worm” mustard plug - “not again” janitor joe - “boyfriend” snapcase - “new academy” neil young - “someday” blindsided - “spaceman” placebo - “without you i’m nothing” the creeps - “lakeside cabin” solomon grundy - “time is not your own” the clash - “the card cheat” silversun pickups - “common reactor” lagwagon - “leave the light on” denali - “where i landed” system of a down - “highway song” sprinkler - “personality doll” the vindictives - “structure and function” unplugged” the queers - “ursula finally has tits” we’re entering no repeats territory  buffalo springfield - “expecting to fly” hit squad - “pictures of matchstick men” cows - “almost a god” hop along - “young and happy” pixies - “i’ve been tired” the fall - “spoilt victorian child” camper van chadbourne - “knock on the door” queens of the stone age - “tension head” choking victim - “war story” cool that we have gotten to drop by the greatest song ever recorded :) guttermount - “happy loving couples” audio karate - “nintendo 89″ tad - “pork chop” the kelley deal 6000 - “where did the home team go” colorfinger - “hateful” :} man or astroman - “evil plans of planet spectra” pere ubu - “arabian nights” accepting repeats for  new found glory - “my friends over you” cool moving on american steel - “optimist” tom petty & the heartbreakers - “even the losers” meat puppets - “another moon” black cat music - “wine in a box” wallside - “ready” crucifucks - “pig in a blanket” the bananas - “my charmed life”

KILLDOZER - “EARL SCHEIB,” UNCOMPROMISING WAR ON ART UNDER THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE PROLETARIAT, 1994. KILLDOZER ON SUMMERLAND

[borderline-off-fangame]

em on leptep, have some old shit there.

Old art is super old, we talking late 2010′s here

Paola Orgel

Max, the one armed wonder

Lines before she became Baby/Hell

The 5 Guardians (enoch is back to being lorg, and Gabriel is now a crystal golem (the concept of n. fowleri was given to Gabi who makes her appearance in the game)

the Queen’s aide, Cleo

Gabriel (I kept the leg thingies because it looked good on him uwu)

Apathy

Beth (formerly known as Hawthorne, was repurposed for the game, now appears as the baker in Zone 0)

the very first art piece of Alexis (he still keeps the design, but artstyle wise looks better since my art evolved drasticly)

The very first Shedder design, which was then changed to Covetous design, which was then changed to the now Shedder you see in the game. He will make an appearance, with some changes of course)

Leap of faith with Sam

Lines again (will consider using the puzzle idea in the future)

The Alternate Puppeteers (for a mod, before I ended up scrapping it entirely)

Dedan as the Queen

Japhet/Sava design

the very first battle backdrop

second Shedder reference (I think chii might have gotten the third and final design from the second face that my friend TheHugger made. a)

a shedder variation for Hello Charlotte (eventually turned it into Mother)

Joysus

the three sisters

and that’s it I guess. e’s out of here

[hunniegifs-blog]

hello honey!! no one really asked me to make this, but i just felt like making it. i also honestly just love looking through and searching up different and unique names. here is a list of names that i have heard of and have just fell in love with. the names go from A-H and are sorted into female, male & unisex. quick disclaimer; i will probably make another names list in the future. like/reblog if this post helped you.

female: 46

amelia, amira, annora, arabella, aria, astrid, athena, aulora, aurora, ava, ayla

beth, brenna, brielle

cala, calysta, caitlyn, camila, catalina, cleo

dalena, dakota, delilah, donnalyn

eden, electra, ella, ellowyn, elora, estee, estelle, esme, esmeralda, euna

faith, faye, freya

genevieve, gina, giselle, grazel

hailey, hara, haven, hera, hyria

male: 43

aaron, aiden, alijah, alistair, alvin, angelo, angus, aries, arlo, aros, aslan

baylen, benji, blaine, blake, boyd 

calais, callisto, carter, caspian, chance, clyde, cyrus 

dale, deavon, demetri, drew 

eli, elias, ellis, ezra 

felix, ferris, finn, finlay, floyd, flynn

garet, grant, guy

hael, harley, hunter

unisex: 16

adryan, aspen, atlas

bailey, bellamy, brooklyn

casey, chiko

darcy, dara, devin, dylan

erin, frankie, gale, hayden

[lexiwright]

Night out

Benny watts x reader

I'm so so so sorry this to so long to come out. I had planned it to be out for new year and then I kept changing my mind so it may not seem like it makes sense apologizes, I'm also promptly moving tomorrow. I literally was told my parents couldn't handle me and my mental health anymore and am not getting kicked out just ( space for everyone ) so yea I'm feeling very low and just so no one wonders why the next one will probably take so long. I'll be living with my real mum who has her own issues too so we will see

Trigger warning - slight alcohol miss use. Slight drunken abuse (not from benny he would never.)

Some cuddles and fluff

Prompt - ”Can you please come and get me ”

--------

It had been a less than successful night. Your sure others wouldn't agree but you sat next to a gutter at the side of a very quiet road in front of a building of which merely hours ago you had been drinking aside friends in had drunk adults spilling from the door as everyone came and went.

Your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you glanced around and spotted a payphone a little down the street. Pulling yourself off the ground and reaching for your bag you stumble your way away from the slow rumbling music that clung around the door from inside. It got distant and you fell into the booth.

You thought about how the night had started. The party had been on everyones mind for days. You were going with cleo and the boys. Beth was even gonna meet you guys there. Who was in New York for a few days, staying in a hotel a few blocks from the party. Although she didn't stay long, trying to keep sober.

You guys had got there around 11. In time for the beginning of shots being pasted around. Which you off course accepted. Kick starting the night with some vodka.

All went well for a few hours, by about 2 you'd put back your fair share of drink. And that's when it started to hit you. You weren't a stranger to the results of alcohol tho and kept going like it was nothing.

But apparently your uneven walking had caught the attention of some...less than pleasant individuals. They had tried talking to you before and you just ignored them. They had a look in their eyes that you weren't comfortable with so you didn't dwell on them.

But they had dwelled on you it seemed. They noticed as your balance had started to wobble. Quite possibly noticing when your words all slurred together. And definitely when you stumbled in front of them as you had unsuccessfully attempted to step past one of them. But there was no call for the man to grab you. And not in a way to help you balance. You told him to let go. But his hands had other ideas. You tried to pull his hands off of you and your not sure what happened next but he slapped you.

You probably did something wrong you thought. You always screw things up.

Some words were exchanged and you rushed out. Not after kneeling him in a not so nice place. he tried to grab you. Ripping the shoulder of your one straps. It was a cheap dress but now you had to make sure you help up the strap just in case.

You felt humiliated and your face hurt.

You found some money in your bag, next to some mint gum that you decided was a higher priority.

Benny hadn't come to the party. He thought it sounded stupid. And when you had stepped out of your room into the middle of the apartment he looked at you and snorted.

” what do you expect to get in that get up?” he asked suggestively.

You didn't think anything of it and giggled at him. But now you thought maybe it truly was your fault an that you seemed like you were asking for it.

Shaking your head to clear it of such thoughts. Which made the small booth spin a little but you stuck with it. Putting in the coins and trying to remember the right numbers for the house. You felt sick as you listened for the click of the phone being a answered and a harsh voice on the other end speaking.

”hello?”

It was Benny. Hopefully you hadn't woke him.

” Benny?” you whispered out. Realising you had to speak

” Y/N?” he questioned. Voice softening a little.

You twirled the cable as you stared at your shaking hand.

Your throat seemed to close up as you looked for the words. To explain how drunk you had got. To explain what the men tried to do to you. Why you hadn't come home yet even though it was now 3.

” Y/N what's the matter” he asked sternly.

Your eyes pricked with sudden tears and with a slight choke you sobbed out.

”Can you please come and get me ”

”what happened where are the others?” he seemed startled

” I don't know. I'm sorry. Please Benny.”

There was a split second of silence and then

” I'm coming to get you stay right where you are. ” and then another click.

You waited. Felt like a life time. You thought about a lot of things. Part of you was worried Benny wouldn't come. That he would leave you here. You struggled to keep your self balanced so you went over to a step and sat down. Put your head in your hands with your elbows resting on your thighs.

You sighed. Maybe you should find your own way. You sat up and ran your fingers through your hair.

It wasn't to long before a taxi pulled up in front of you and outstepped a slightly frustrated looking Benny.

His hair askew and a loose black shirt, he took a few long strides to reach you.

Looking up you giggled at how tall he looked. Sighing at your antics he held out a hand and began to pull you too your feet.

Wobbling considerably you made it to an upright position and with a long arm around your waist you stumbled your way to the taxi.

You some how got in. A testament to what a person would do to get away from a party.

You could tell he hadn't noticed your strap or face yet, you had concealed it well. Somehow.

Time didn’t work for you so you’ve no idea how long it took to get home. But when you did benny got out first to open the door for you and pay the driver.

Thanking the man. He shut the car door and watched for a second as it pulled away before turning his attention to the more presssing matter of the drunking idiot before him. Giggling at a joke he obviously missed.

He noticed your face. You saw the moment he did and he stepped closer. Enough to see the outline of a hand.

This was when Benny realised there was a little more to this story of you just getting blitzed as he, for the first time took in your appearance, clocking the strap you were holding up with your arms folded.

A hint of rage passed through him before he calmed and took your hand to get you inside. You were barely three steps into the building befor you asked

“How am I supposed to get down the stairs”

Slurring lightly.

He sighed. Not for the last time and leaned down to hoist you into his arms and proceeded with caution as he walked with you. You giggled some more as you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging into him.

You were drained. And you wanted to sleep. Leaning your face into his neck you've never felt safer.

When he reached the bottom he placed you down gently and unlocked the door to let you both in. This time just holding you round the waist as you wobbled down the small set of stairs. He then pulled you to the sofa and sat you down.

After doing the usually after drinks things like water and getting you a jumper and some shorts of his he then sat next to you and spoke for the first time since you's had got in.

”are you going to tell me what happened?” he gently pushed. Not wanting to push you over the limit but he was concerned.

Your face fell and you nodded a little and told him very roughly but enough that he understood what had happened. He was angry, to say the least, but knew there was nothing he could do about the disrespectful toad roaming the streets. So he settled to offer you an open arm for you to cuddle into him. You of course jumped at the offer and snuggled into the warm man.

You didn't want to go to bed and Benny knew that. Knowing you'd not have the effort to get up and both being quite comfortable where you both remained.

You spotted a book on the coffee table and looked up at Benny with puppy dog eye that you knew he couldn't refuse.

” will you read to me?” you pleaded.

He chuckled and lent forward to retrieve the book. It happened to be the hobbit. ( I know it's not for everyone but I know it's written before Benny time so apologies please roll with it)

As he started to read chapter one an unexpected party and began describing the hobbit hole. You felt yourself begin to doze off to the soothing tones and his other hand rubbing soft circles on your upper arm.

It wasn't how the night had supposed to go but you were with him now and you felt protected. Knowing he came to your aid.

(with regards to the slap Yes I know this is a little unrealistic it lasting that long but I once got one that lasted a few hours ( I’m not being hit just to clarify it was a joke with some pals who one of them was telling me about a slap match to see how much he could take and the other we were with friend had really went for it and it was actually shockingly sore and my drunk ass went I can take it and he was reluctant at first and then went to go and did it before stating that was hadn’t been hard enough and went again even harder and it left quite a mark and we all laughed so ya. ) but just pretend if you don’t think it would )

[javajunkieao3]

Beth/Benny Fic:  Being Alive - The Parent Years

The one where Beth and Benny’s five-year-old daughter challenges Vasily Borgov to a Candyland game.

AKA, the one I had way too much fun writing.  Set in the “Being Alive” universe.

           Beth sits at a familiar board, resting her chin on her folded hands as she studies the squares laid out before her.  She can see the path to victory clearly, but there is too much uncertainty on the board for her to know exactly how it will turn out.  As it stands, Beth’s opponent is ahead and it is her opponent’s turn, which gives her another chance to achieve an even farther lead.  Her opponent reaches forward and draws a card. It’s red.  Beth frowns, watching her daughter push the gingerbread man four spaces up.

           “Your turn,” her daughter says crisply, taking a sip of her apple juice.  Chess tournaments didn’t allow beverages other than water, but for a Candyland tournament, Alma considers the apple juice indispensable.

           Beth reaches forward and takes a card.  It’s a measly yellow, which only takes her one square forward.

           Benny walks into the kitchen and takes a look at the board.  “I see this game is going about as well as usual.”

           “How do I keep losing?”  Beth says unhappily.

           Alma draws another card that takes her directly to Gumdrop Mountain.  At this rate, she’ll reach Candy Castle in another three moves.  Maybe two. Alma grins up at her mother.

           “No gloating,” Beth says lightly.  Looking over at Benny, she remarks, “She gets that from you.”

           “I don’t gloat.  I simply enjoy my wins.”

           “Oh, is that what you’re calling it now?”

           Beth draws another card, swearing under her breath when she finds herself pulled into a Molasses Swamp.  She really hated this game.

           Benny crouches next to his daughter and says, “Your mother is very bad at this game.”

           “Daddy, you’re distracting me,” Alma says with exasperation.

           “I’m sorry, kid.”  Benny says. He straightens up, and when he passes Beth he says, “That she definitely got from you.”

           Three turns later, Alma arrives at Candy Castle and stretches her hand across the board, just as her parents taught her.

           “Good game, Mommy.”

           Beth smiles, once again struck by the fact that she had made someone so absolutely perfect.  She shakes her daughter’s hand and then calls out, “Carol, you’re up.”

           Mrs. Watts comes into the kitchen and says, “Another win?  Good for you, Alma dear.”

           Beth plants her hands on the table and stands.  “I think she’s going to sweep the tournament again.”

           Mrs. Watts takes her seat.  “Well, we’ll see about that.”

           Beth ruffles Alma’s hair before she goes to find Benny, leaving Mrs. Watts to play the reigning Candyland champion.  Benny is seated on the couch reading a magazine.  He looks up at her when he hears her approach, and says, “Another crushing defeat?”

           “I swear she stacks the deck.”

           “Honestly, if she did, I’d be a little proud.”

           Beth laughs, sitting next to him.  She rests her head on his shoulder and he says, “How are you feeling about Paris next week?”

           “I’m as ready as I can be,” Beth says.  

           “Borgov is still supposed to be there, right?”

           Beth nods.  Despite both of them being relatively active after Moscow, it is the first time they are facing off since her win all those years ago.  She feels nervous, but in a less unsteadying manner than before.  The thought of him didn’t frighten her anymore.

           “Do you think Alma will like Paris?” she asks.

           “It’s the country of bread and cheese.  I don’t think she’ll want to leave.”

           “And your mom?”

           “She doesn’t mind staying here.  She says she doesn’t like the French because they wear too much black.”

           “Well, naturally.”

           “Besides, I think a little trip just the three of us would be nice.  We haven’t done that for a few years.”

           They had purposely built in a few extra days in Paris to do some exploring. Beth is particularly excited to take Alma to see the Eiffel Tower.  Cleo brought her back a small figurine of it after her last trip there, and Alma kept it next to her bed, saying goodnight to it each evening before she went to sleep.

           Benny goes back to reading his magazine, holding it so that she can read along, too.  After about twenty minutes, Alma runs into the room and exclaims, “I won again!”

----

           Six days later, the family is in Paris, Alma asleep in her father’s arms as they check into the hotel.  Both Beth and Benny played enough over the years to be recognized, and a few people even ask for autographs.  They make their way up to the room and Benny puts Alma down on the bed, covering her with his coat.

           Beth glances over at their daughter and says, “You should wake her.  Otherwise, she’ll be up at two in the morning.”

           “It’s okay.  I’ll get up with her.  I’m not playing, anyway.”

           Beth nods.  While they kept true to their prior intention of not having children get in the way of tournaments, at a certain point, they did recognize the virtue of having one parent available while the other competed.  And so, after a few years, they tried to only have one of them playing at a tournament, if possible.  Benny played Paris the year prior, so this year, he happily took on the parenting duties.

           They order room service and after a quiet dinner, Beth tries to get some sleep, feeling her usual pre-tournament jitters.  It takes her a while to fall asleep, but when she does she sleeps soundly, and she wakes up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.  Alma is already up and she notices Benny put her in a dress that mimics the one she had chosen for the day.  She laid her dress out the night before and she wonders if Benny had purposely matched them, grinning at the thought.  

-----

           When they go down to where the tournament is being held, the first person that Beth sees is Borgov.  He is standing across the room with his wife, his demeanor its usual reserved and collected. He feels her gaze and looks over, offering her a small wave that she returns.  Benny walks over and lays a hand on her arm.

           “Are you ready?”

           She nods.  “Yes.”

           “I saw you have Ballister up first,” Benny says.  “He’ll be a good warmup.”

           Beth smiles slightly.  “I heard he got better after Mexico City.”

           “I saw him running pawn formations.  You don’t have to worry.”

           “Good to know.”

           Benny looks over her shoulder.  “Borgov’s here.”

           “Yeah, I saw him.”

           Benny senses her hesitation and says, “Don’t worry.  You’re going to beat him.  You’ll beat all of them.”

-----

           The day flies by with one game after another.  Some are challenging, others less so, but by the end, Beth is relieved to head toward her family and get some rest before starting up again the next day. Benny is over by the restaurant, Alma with a piece of baguette in her hand.

           “Where did she even get that?” Beth asks.

           Alma doesn’t answer, her mouth currently full of bread.

           “She just outright asked one of the waiters.  They were so flustered, they just gave it to her.”

           Someone clears their throat behind Beth and she looks over her shoulder, surprised to see Borgov and his wife.  She immediately greets them, shaking his wife’s hand who he introduces as Katarina.

           “It’s very nice to meet you,” Beth says.

           “And you.  I have heard so much about you.”

           Alma steps to her mother’s side, baguette still clutched in her hand, and says, “Hello.  I’m Alma.”

           Borgov smiles warmly down at her.  “Hello Alma.  Tell me, how old are you?”            “I’m five,” Alma says.

           “You are?”  Katarina says pleasantly, crouching down to be at the young girl’s height.  “You look so grown up for five.”

           Alma nods and says, “But I am five.  And a Candyland champion.”

           Borgov chuckles.  “Is that so?”

           “We hold tournaments in our kitchen,” Beth explains with a grin.

           “It’s all very official,” Benny adds.

           Alma looks up at Borgov and asks, “Would you like to play?”

           “Oh, you don’t have to,” Beth says immediately, garnering an accusatory look from her daughter.  But, really, they were at a world chess tournament.  She doubted Borgov had the time or desire to play Candyland against her five-year-old-daughter.  However, much to her surprise, Borgov says, “I would be honored.”

           “Really?” Beth asks curiously.

           Katarina links her arm through her husband’s and says, “How can he say no to a Candyland champion?”

           Before them, Alma beams.

-----

           When Beth packed the Candyland board in their luggage, she never could have imagined that her daughter would be playing against Vasily Borgov.  And yet, here they are, doing exactly that in her hotel room.  Alma has her requisite apple juice, and at the last moment, she insists that Borgov have a glass of water because as she puts it, “You might get thirsty.”

           Borgov tells her this is a very reasonable concern and takes the water.  Alma starts off the game and Beth watches Borgov approach the play with the same sort of intensity that he did with chess.  He draws the cards carefully, moving his gingerbread man deliberately across the squares.  When he is sucked down a cherry hole, the discontent on his face mirrors what she might have seen if someone had captured his Queen.

           Katarina sits down next to Beth and says in a low voice, “It may not look it, but your daughter is really indulging Vasily with this.  He used to play with our son, Sergei, but he’s too old now.”

           “How old is your son again?”

           “Twelve.  He’s just at the age where he wants nothing to do with either of us.”

           The game goes on, and after a particularly serendipitous draw of cards when Alma found herself sidelined in the Molasses Swamp, Borgov picks up his gingerbread man and holds it out to Alma.

           “The game is yours.  Well done.”

           Alma takes the small figurine, smiling wide.

           The next day, Beth beats him, too.

Read the full story HERE!

[newmusicmonthly]

2020

Hello. I hope you and yours are well. As is tradition, below are my selections for albums and songs of the year. As I have yet to receive a reply from you, dear reader, sincerely asking to unsubscribe, you are therefore the proud recipient of the list once more! I’ve altered the format from 5 tracks each month because, as I suspect many of you did, I went into a nostalgic hole for large chunks of this year (for me this consisted of at least two months of nothing but Funkadelic, which does mean my personalised algorithm is now ace), but also when I looked back at when many of these tracks were released it was front heavy for the first half of the year – another body blow to the supposed “monthly” mailer. I even considered not writing my one-liners, but where is the fun in that? Furthermore, trying to keep the long list to 60 tracks in total (equivalent to 5 per month) proved overly frustrating, so I’ve included some extras, especially as this year felt 13 month long. Notwithstanding said excuses, enough preamble, on with the list! Let me know what you think and do send me your own selections. Lots of love xx TOP 10s TOP 10 ALBUMS Baxter Dury – The Night Chancers Mildlife – Automatic SAULT – Untitled (Black Is) Alice Boman – Dream On Kanaan – Odense Sessions Lightning Orchestra – Source And Deliver Yves Tumor – Heaven To A Tortured Mind The Strokes – The New Abnormal Woods – Strange to Explain Erland Cooper – Hether Blether TOP 10 TRACKS Malena Zavala – En la Noche Caribou – You & I Yves Tumor – Kerosene! Puscifer – Apocalyptical Mildlife – Automatic King Hannah – Meal Deal SAULT – Wildfires // Bow [yes, there are two tracks there] Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Frazey Ford – Golden Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? NEW MUSIC ‘MONTHLY’ MAILER Spotify Link Here Holy Fuck – Near Mint What better way to kick off a retrospective look at 2020 than with ‘Holy Fuck’ Alice Boman – It’s OK, It’s Alright Really love this album and this pick is a real downer, spectral and haunting but also touching Smoke Fairies – Out Of The Woods Jessica and Katherine still delivering a decade on, the chorus guitar riff is tops Nicolas Godin – The Border Air’s Nicolas Godin doing his best detached friendly robot, mais bien sur Moses Boyd – BTB Vibrant, propulsive, energetic, gotta move! The Men – Wading In Dirty Water Avid readers will know I’m a fan of these guys and this one rides a familiar Crazy Horse choogle Tame Impala – Breathe Deeper Funky bass, piano flourishes, solid synths, all groove Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Ok, here it is, there’s always going to be at least one – this is the 14 min space rock jam – skip/enjoy! Frazey Ford – Golden This production is right up my street, soulful vocals swoop around tight rhythm section and hammond keys, an analogue dream Caribou – You and I From the analogue to a digital master, man this beat is catchy Pulled By Magnets – Cold Regime People Die File this under terrifying experimental jazz Jonathan Wilson – Riding The Blinds JW doing that 6/8 minor ballad thang Baxter Dury – Say Nothing Another album I loved this year and could have picked any number of tracks, so here’s a quote from Baxter: “My craft and in a sense a certain style has been perfected and it’s easy… I don’t have to do it again basically. I don’t want to hear another man talking over an orchestral background.” Ha! U.S. Girls – 4 American Dollars Slick funky, soulful, classic strings, building into a brilliant outro with great lyrics Deeper – Lake Song Detached vibe ala Joy Division / The Cure done through a Pavement lens with serious downer lyrics Pretty Lightning – Voo Doo Boo Swampy dirge guitar grooves Tamikrest – Anha Achal Wad Namda Another mailer favourite, Touareg guitar wizards Tony Allen, Hugh Masekela – Never (Lagos Never Gonna Be the Same) Master drummer who sadly passed away earlier this year just after this release, and two years after master trumpeter Masekela’s own passing, this track is a buzzing tribute to Fela Myrkur – House Carpenter Danish black metaller does Scandinavian folk: bright and beautiful Sufjan Stevens, Lowell Brams – The Runaround A weird album, even by Sufjan standards, but I found these electronic ambient sounds strangely comforting R.A.P. Ferreira – ABSOLUTES Rhythm & poetry The Weeknd – Blinding Lights What can I add to the smash of 2020? Catchy af Porridge Radio – Long Indie banger, with a decidedly angry, bitter, playful lyrics Cleo Sol – Her Light If online research is to be believed Cleo is part of the collective in SAULT with producer Inflo, but this album is standalone brilliance without knowing that, this is pure vintage soul vibes Malena Zavala – En la Noche I returned to this track more than any other this year, the rhythm, the vocals, the melody, the production, even if I have to use google translate to fully understand the lyrics Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes – Lift Off Molten guitar, groovy arrangements, and plenty of business from Dayes Yves Tumor – Kerosene! An absolute belter, amazing vocals, groove and crescendo perfection Warm Digits, The Orielles – Shake The Wheels Off (feat. The Orielles) Immediate synth pop, indie dancefloor (with some solid cowbell) EOB – Brasil First solo venture for Ed, acoustic folk gives way to rumbling bass banger, would very much like to experience this in a field Other Lives – Hey Hey I Grand rocking orchestral aural assault with hints of Morricone Elephant Tree – Sails Fulfilling the heavy dirge quota, that hit at 2:33 is a proper head in the speakers moment The Strokes – Why Are Sundays So Depressing This album snuck up on me, and then I found myself listening to it non-stop, this track such an ear worm Houses of Heaven – In Soft Confusion I think the right descriptor is darkwave – insistent drum machine, reverb soaked vocals, industrial production, gloomy pop hooks Joel Sarakula – Don’t Give Up on Me Operating in a dangerous space between homage and pastiche, groove and parody, this is smooth easy yacht rock Donny Benét – Second Dinner Following hot on the heels of pastiche, this time with tongue firmly in cheek, The Don and his 80s reverence lolz Perfume Genius – Whole Life Completely arresting, the lyrics an absolute gut punch, yet still gorgeous Jake Blount – Beyond This Wall From the press release, this album “features fourteen carefully chosen tracks drawn from Blount’s extensive research of Black and Indigenous mountain music. The result is an unprecedented testament to the voices paradoxically obscured yet profoundly ingrained into the Appalachian tradition” – this contemporary instrumental is a superb banjo and fiddle tune Holy Hive – Broom Formed by the drummer from the Dap Tones and inspired by being on tour with Lee Fields, this gentle soul, complete with tremolo guitar and horns, really floats Woods – Where Do You Go When You Dream A welcome return to form, this mellotron infused number is beautifully catchy Erland Cooper – Linga Holm Dramatic piano and strings from an altogether wild and wonderful album Mystery Jets – Screwdriver Loud / quiet dynamic, bombastic riffs, seething verses, the Jets turn it up to eleven to fight with love Jehnny Beth – Flower Another track where hushed verses give way to chorus explosions, serious tension and intensity Hinds – Good Bad Times Love that thudding bass drum, big stomping pop Norah Jones – Were You Watching? Smooth but haunting, with added Celtic flavour Braids – Young Buck Bleeps and bloops, melancholic poppy vocals, and the damnedest catchiest chorus Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? Is it getting hot in here? No further questions LA Priest – What Moves Quirky strutting electro, sleek yet squelchy SAULT – Wildfires + SAULT, Michael Kiwanuka – Bow Double billing because I couldn’t make a choice (plus when I realised the rhythms flow perfectly into one another it’s like it’s one song) Run The Jewels – a few words for the firing squad (radiation) Again, difficult to choose which track on this album; this is pure fire with sax and all GUM – The Thrill Of Doing It Right Turn this feel good banger up! Such a big hit when the horns drop at the start The Vacant Lots - Fracture Catchy, icy, synths (and Desert Sands label mates by the by) A.A. Williams – Melt Enchanting slow-burning, stirring post-rock, with a wonderful, soaring crescendo Lightning Orchestra – For Those Who Are Yet To Be Born A late discovery, but immediately catapulted to the top, self-described “psychedelic booty-shake” Kamaal Williams – Save Me Almost chose ‘Pigalle’ but the tight push drumming on this won out, hard funky jazz stylings of the Herbie variety Victoria Monét – Dive Lavish and groovy, and as Monét puts it: “They say most humans are about 60% water, but I believe women must be 69% so dive in baby." Secret Machines – Talos’ Corpse Genuinely so happy to see Brandon and Josh back and still with the big sounds All Them Witches – Enemy of My Enemy Relentlessly heavy, all the chops and described by one reviewer as the love child of TOOL, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Kyuss; I love this band Fenne Lily – Birthday Beautiful and bruised Mildlife – Automatic Another new discovery, in the pocket cosmic goodness and much as it pains me to quote from NME I can’t think of a better description than ‘Mobius strip funk’ Puscifer – Apocalyptical Maynard in the video for this track is an indelible image; massive swaggering Intruder-esque drums, angular menacing guitars, Carina’s ethereal edgy vocals, Maynard’s gritted teeth whispers, and apposite apocalyptical lyrics Matt Berninger – Loved So Little Confessional moody acoustic conjuring up Western-esque vistas Goldensuns – Denandra Moore Californian sun-drenched lo-fi groove, for fans of Conan Mockasin and Night Moves Frankie and the Witch Fingers – Cavehead F*cking excellent west coast garage psych melange and the B,D,E ascend at 3:10 is nod central King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – The Hungry Wolf Of Fate Genre bending brilliance once again from down under, this cut a heavy, doomy Sabbath assault King Hannah – Meal Deal Ominous drone opens into an acoustic tale of buying a flat with a spider in the bath, Hannah’s sinister smoky sultry vocals draw you in, before some menacing low frequency dirge guitar and drums kick in at 1:30… By this point on first listen I was already hooked, but then comes a great walloping Angel Olsen ‘Sister’ style crescendo, a glorious find at the end of the year (props to Manuel) HONOURABLE MENTIONS Elephant Stone – I See You Sam Lee, Elizabeth Frazer – The Moon Shines Bright Priscilla Ermel – Martim Pescador Rheinzand – Blind Dogleg – Fox The Flaming Lips, Deap Lips – Home Thru Hell The Heliocentrics – Hanging By A Thread Midwife – 2018 Chicano Batman – Color My life Trace Mountains – Rock & Roll Peach Pit – Shampoo Bottles Buscabulla – Vámono Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever – Cars In Space Jess Williamson – Wind on Tin Thiago Nassif, Arto Lindsay – Plástico The Vacant Lots – Endless Rain Nubya Garcia – Stand With Each Other (Feat. Ms MAURICE, Cassie Kinoshi, & Richie Seivwright) Juanita Stein – L.O.T.F. Carlton Melton – Waylay Paul McCartney – Long Tailed Winter Bird

[javajunkieao3]

Benny/Beth Fic:  Being Alive - Part 9

For the next few months, Benny and Beth alternate visits between Kentucky and New York.   They hadn’t discussed a permanent solution to their problem, which both of them knew they would have to eventually, but for now their arrangement was working.  The US Open is in Vegas again and they meet in the Caesar’s Palace lobby.  Benny makes some teasing comment but she has already dropped her luggage and thrown her arms around him.

           “Geez guys, get a room,” a voice says behind them.  

The voice belongs to one of two people, whose voices are as indiscernible as their identical faces.

           “Hello boys,” Benny says smoothly, his arm slung over Beth’s shoulders. “Any insider tips for us?”

           The twins were helping out at the tournament, no doubt swayed by the comped rooms and meals.

           “You know we could disqualify you for even asking that,” Mike says good-naturedly, knowing Benny was only joking.

           “The Federation could have us wired for all you know,” Matt adds.

           “The Federation is too worried about brownnosing with Nixon to worry about who you two are talking to,” Benny says.

           “He has a point,” Mike says.  “We are very low on the totem pole.”

           “Did you hear Gorsky is here?”  Matt says, missing the way Beth’s face pales.  “He wasn’t supposed to come, but he got added last minute.  We had to rearrange all the initial plays.”

           “We should rest-up before the games start this afternoon,” Beth says.  “It was good seeing you two.”

           “Yeah, you too,” Mike says.  “We’ll see you guys later.”      

           Beth doesn’t talk on their way to the room, and after Benny opens the door she immediately runs over to the bathroom and pukes.  Benny crouches next to her, rubbing her back.

           “You don’t have to worry about Gorsky.  You could beat him in your sleep.”

           “I know.”  She stands up and washes her mouth out in the sink.

           Benny can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it further, and so instead he asks her, “What do you want to do for lunch?  We can just order room service.”

           Beth nods.  “That sounds great.  Thanks.”

           She unpacks her suitcase and hangs her dresses up in the closet, carefully smoothing any wrinkles from the skirts.  Benny watches her and asks, “Which one are you wearing today?”

           “I’m not sure yet.”  She usually has each day’s outfit planned in advance, but this time she had hesitated, throwing in more than enough for the three-day tournament.  Her hand lingers on a cream shift dress that she brought. She planned to pair it with a turquoise cardigan, but quickly realizes she left it at home.

           “How do burgers sound?”  Benny asks from the bed, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder.

           “Burgers sound great.”

----

           After lunch, Beth settles on a deep green dress with white piping throughout the bodice, and she sits at the table for her first match.  A short balding man sits across from her.  He fidgets before they even start to play, and after her first decisive move, the fidgeting increases.  In theory, all the players at the Open should be good, but she beats him in less than thirty minutes.  She continued her streak, some games taking longer than others, and then she is finished for the day.  Benny is still playing and she can tell from the board that it will be a long time before they are finished.  Maybe even the possibility of an adjournment. Beth watches for twenty minutes or so and then stands, wandering through the casino. She stops at a roulette table and watches a group of nicely dressed couples play.  As the roulette wheel spins, a familiar thought presses at the back of Beth’s mind.

           She missed her period.

           She’s thought about it at least on an hourly basis since she reached day 10, and then with each additional day, she thought about it more.  The only time she didn’t think about it was when she was playing chess.  Even during the easy games, her mind became too occupied by the board.  It had been a relief that afternoon to just play.  But then when it was over, the thoughts returned.

           In the beginning, she could tell herself that it was because of stress. It was difficult with all the travel back and forth between Kentucky and New York, and she didn’t like being away from Benny.  But then she started getting sick in the morning.  And sometimes in the afternoon, too.  At a certain point, she had to accept the reality of her situation.  She was pregnant.

           And she still hadn’t told Benny.

           She walks past one of several bars in the casino, surprised when she recognizes the back of a head.  Her feet propel her forward and she reaches out a hand that seems to cover his shoulder of its own accord.

           “Townes?”

           He turns around and she’s hugging him, just like in Moscow, and he murmurs, “Harmon, it sure is good to see you.”

           “What are you doing here?”  

           “I’m covering the tournament for the Kentucky Chronicle.”

           She sits next to him and orders a club soda.  It occurs to her that she now has more than one reason to do so.    

           “You look different,” he says, and for a panicked second she thinks that he knows. “You look happy.”

           His words surprise her.  Had she not looked happy before?  She asks him that and he laughs slightly, shaking his head.  “No, you seemed happy.  But this is different.  You seem, I don’t know, content.”

           “I guess I am in a way.”

           “I heard about you and Benny Watts,” Townes says.  “I can’t say I wasn’t a little jealous.”   She raises an eyebrow, her breath quickening, and he adds, “I’m just imaging all the great chess games you guys must play.”

           Beth laughs, relieved by the turn that took.  “We do play a lot of chess.  But not all the time.  Sometimes it surprises me how normal we are.”

           “Normal is good.”

           “How about you and Roger?” she asks.

           “We’re doing good,” Townes says, taking a sip of his drink.  It looks like whiskey.  Beth couldn’t remember if she had ever seen him drink before.  “So, what’s new with you?  There has to be something since we last saw each other.”

           It’s such an opportune question that she almost tells him.  Because it’s Townes and something about him had always felt safe to her, even when her feelings confused things, but she doesn’t.  She feels guilty for even thinking it.

           “I’m going to start classes at a community college near me,” Beth says.

           “Don’t tell me you’re leaving us,” Townes says.

           “No, I’m not leaving you,” she says with a grin.  “Just exploring a bit.”

           “I think that’s good,” he says, taking a sip of his whiskey.  “There��s more to life than chess.”

           She leans in and says, “I don’t think you’re supposed to say that at a chess tournament.”

           He matches her stature and says, “I won’t tell, if you don’t.”

           He grins and she can’t help herself from grinning back, and then someone clears their throat behind them.

           “Benny Watts,” Townes says jovially.  “It’s nice to see you.”

           “Yeah, you too.”  She can tell from his tone that he’s irritated.

           “How’d your game go?”  Beth asks, hoping to reduce the tension.

           “We adjourned.  Are you ready to get some dinner?”

           Beth nods, slipping off her stool.  “It was good to see you, Townes.”

           “You too, Beth.  Best of luck to you with everything.”

           She nods and follows Benny out of the bar.  He isn’t saying anything, which is how she knows that he’s mad.

           “Benny-“

           “Did I interrupt something over there?”

           “Of course not.  We were just talking.”

           He nods, jaw clenched, and she doesn’t want to deal with a pissed off Benny all night, so she takes a hold of his arm and stops him.  Before she can say anything, he asks, “Did you guys sleep together in Paris?”

           “What?  No. Why would you think that?”

           Benny makes a sort of scoffing noise and she plants her hands on her hips. “Benny, we didn’t sleep together because Townes is gay.”

           He blinks rapidly and says, “What?”

           “It’s not exactly common knowledge, but he’s gay.  And in a relationship.  So, no, we didn’t sleep together.  And, no, you didn’t walk in on anything back at the bar.”

           “Shit, I’m sorry,” he says.  “I just heard some stuff before, and I just sort of assumed…”

           “I know,” she says.  “But, even if he wasn’t, there still wouldn’t have been anything happening at the bar.”

           Benny looks chagrined, and he says, “I probably shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions there.  My game wasn’t going like I wanted, so I came in a little hot to begin with, and then I saw you together…”

           “Are you in bad shape for tomorrow?”  she asks immediately.

           “No, I should be fine.  I just made a move I shouldn’t have, and he ran with it.”

           “Do you want to go through some combinations tonight?”

           Benny looks at her and says, “I’m a total jerk and you still want to go through combinations?”

           “You’re the one who told me before that the Americans are at a disadvantage because we don’t work as a team.”

           Benny smiles slightly and shakes his head.  “Yeah, I did say that.”

           “And you’re not a jerk.  I understand why you thought you saw what you saw.”  She wonders then if Cleo ever told him about her being in love with Townes. “So, dinner first?”

           He nods, capturing her hand in his.  “Yeah, dinner first.”

----

            The next morning, Beth wakes up with a headache and immediate nerves.  Ever since she almost told Townes about her pregnancy, it had become increasingly more apparent how she had not told Benny. At first, she rationalized it that she didn’t want to distract him from the game.  But, she had been getting sick before she left for Vegas.  The truth was, the moment that she told him it became real.

           She purposely didn’t eat before her morning slate of games so that she wouldn’t get sick.  But, it seemed that food had very little to do with the entire process, and she leaves her first game twice to dry heave into a waste basket in the women’s bathroom. It seems unfair that this can still happen and nothing comes up.  She knows Benny noticed and when she gets up during her second game, Benny is waiting for her outside the bathroom.

           “Beth, what’s going on?”

           “I’m fine.  I think I just ate something weird at breakfast.”

           “You didn’t eat breakfast.”

           Irritation crackles in her chest, and she snaps, “Benny, just leave it for now.  I’m fine.  We both have games to play.”

           “What do you mean, leave it for now?”

           She’s tired and her stomach hurts from all of the retching.  All she wants to do is go sit back down at the chessboard and forget about everything else, but Benny is insistent, and she can tell from his stance that he isn’t going to go back to his game without an explanation.

           “Fine,” she huffs.  “If you must know, I’m pregnant.”

           His eyes widen.  “You’re what?”

           “And I need to go back to my game before I have to go dry heave again in fifteen minutes.  Excuse me.”

           She walks back to her board, feeling marginally guilty when she sees Benny reappear, his face completely devoid of color.  She forces her attention back on the board and is able to successfully close the game without having to go back to the bathroom.  She quickly buys a muffin from a café between games and gets half of it down before she has to start her next game.  She’s relieved to see that Benny wins his game.  And then he wins his next too, and so does she. When the day is finally over, Beth is relieved until Benny comes up to her and says, “We have to talk.”

           He waits until they are in their room and then asks, “Are you sure about this?”

           “I’m a month late.  So, yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

           She expects him to share her consternation over the situation, but instead, he grins wide, placing his hands on her stomach.

           “Stop that,” she says, swatting his hands away.  “It’s not like anything is really there yet.”

           “You’re not happy,” he says in disbelief.

           “I don’t know what I am,” she says, sitting on the edge of the bed.  “I know I said I wanted to explore life outside of chess, but this…this is an end to all of it.”

           “That’s not true.”        

           “How can I possibly go to tournaments with a baby?  And then if you get to go, I’ll just grow to resent you for it, and-“

           “Hey, slow down,” he says, sitting next to her and taking a hold of her hands. “Who said you can’t go to tournaments?”

           “Be practical.”

           “I am.  We can find a way to make this work.”

           “How can we possibly make this work?”  she asks, her voice strained.  “Think of this weekend.  How could we possibly make something like this weekend work with a baby?”

           “We have family.”

           “Oh, you mean your alcoholic mother?  Or wait, what about me?  Oh, that’s right, I’m an orphan whose adoptive father won’t even acknowledge exists.”

           “Then we’ll bring the baby with us.”

           “Benny, come on,” she says.  It’s ridiculous and she doesn’t see how he doesn’t see that.

           “We’re not the first people in chess to start a family.  Borgov has a family.”

           “Borgov’s wife doesn’t play chess.  I’m not going to just become the person who holds the baby while you travel around the country, Benny.  I won’t.”

           “Do you really think I’d expect you to do that?”  Benny asks sharply.

           “No,” Beth admits.  “I just don’t know how to do this.  Any of it.”

           “We’ll figure it out,” Benny repeats, his voice softening.  “But this baby is a good thing.”

           Beth looks over at him, and although she still believes this could all be a disaster, the look in his eyes makes her believe it a little less.

           “How will becoming a father fit in with your image as the rock star of chess?”

           He shakes his head and says, “As long as I’ve got you, I don’t need to be the rock star of anything.”

           She holds his hands against her stomach and says, “I’m scared.”

           “I know.  But, we can handle this.”

           He’s such a steady force.  He always has been.  Even when being around him made her heart beat like mad – either out of nerves in the beginning, or something else later on – there had been a sureness that he brought out in her.  Sureness that she could learn to beat him.  Sureness that she could learn to love him as much as he loved her.  She looks down at his hands, getting a crazy idea, and it sounds even crazier when she says it aloud.  “We should get married.”

           “What?”  Benny asks.

           “We can just go down to one of those 24-hour chapels.”

           “Is this because of the baby?”

           “Partially,” Beth admits.  She isn’t one for convention, but being a child born out of wedlock had left its scars. “But mostly, it’s because of you.”

           Benny pauses and then says, “Yeah, okay.  Let’s get married.”

----

           Beth throws on her cream dress, which turns out to be of use even without the turquoise cardigan, and Benny wears his nicer pair of jeans and a black button-up.  They need a witness, so they stop at the twins’ room.

           “Beth and I are getting married.  Any chance one of you wants to be the witness?”

           Mike grins wide.  “There’s not a chance in hell you’re only getting one of us.  Matt, let’s go!”

----

           It turns out there’s a chapel in the hotel and they go there, ducking their heads down when some other players from the tournament see them walking in.

           “I feel like we maybe should have gone somewhere else,” Beth says.

           “Nah, I think this chapel is perfect.”  

           “Are you going to change your last name to Watts?”  Mike asks Beth.  “Because then we’ll have to update the board.”

           “You both would be B. Watts,” Matt says with dawning realization.  “That won’t work.”

           “That definitely won’t work,” Mike echoes.

           “I’m keeping my last name,” Beth says firmly.

           The twins look over to Benny and he shrugs.  “Looks like she’s keeping her name, boys.”

           There’s one couple ahead of them who appears to be several bottles deep into the night, and when Beth and Benny walk up, the officiant says, “You two look remarkably sober.”

           “That’s because we are,” Benny says.

           “Well, look at that.  I might actually officiate a wedding that doesn’t end in divorce.  Do you have a witness?”

           “We have two,” Beth says, gesturing to the twins.

           “Sober and over-prepared.  What a marvel.  Alright, let’s get you two married.”

           The wedding is short and sweet.  They realize on the spot that they hadn’t thought of rings, and Benny uses two he is already wearing.  He gives her the one he wore when they first met.  She remembers how he always played with it between moves.  They don’t do any sort of special vows but when Benny kisses her, she is the happiest she has ever been.  

----

           The next morning, Townes catches her in the elevator – Benny had already gone downstairs for his game – and he says, “I heard a rumor.  It sounds like I can’t call you Harmon anymore.”

           Beth grins and confirms, “Benny and I got married last night.  But, I’m keeping my last name.  So, you can still call me Harmon.”

           He nods.  “I’m glad to hear that.  I’m happy for you.  It seems like you’re in a really good place.”

           Beth doesn’t know if that is true or not given the particular circumstance he is unaware of, but she wants to believe him.  When the doors open, Townes gestures for her to go first and says, “Good luck on your game, Harmon.  Kentucky and me are rooting for you.”

           “Thanks, Townes.”

           When Beth gets to her chair, there is a piece of paper on it that says Mrs. Benny Watts.  She looks over to the twins, who are watching her with glee.  Shaking her head, she crumples the paper into a ball and walks over to them, holding it out in her palm.

           Mike grins, taking the balled-up paper, and says, “Never change, Harmon.”

           “I won’t.”