#( cece speaks. )

[yourlittlettoy]

Hi friennnnds!

My attendance in here has admittedly been lacking 😔 but my enthusiasm for seeing everyone again is in abundance!!! 🥰

Missed everyone! 🩷 looking forward to sharing some new things I’ve made and experiences I’ve had since the last time we spoke! Hope you’ll enjoyyyy 😙✌🏻

P.s. guess who’s back in Japan 👀

[peace-for-levi]

{when you need me...}

who would i be if i didn't project my mental health onto 2D characters/reader and not write about it? i see so many fics of reader being worried for nanami while he's out in shibuya and… we all know what happens there.

content warning: detailed descriptions of anxiety, reader refers to themselves as 'wife' (reader thinks they are a bad wife) and the use of 'she'. it's otherwise in the 2nd person perspective. negative self-talk/beliefs. use of pet names. nanami being the bestest husband. i miiiiight have made him OOC and overindulged on how soft i made him BUT ITS OK YOU GOTTA BE A DELULU IN THIS ECONOMY.

+18 discord server

No, you were not going to call him. Absolutely not! Or text him either, for that matter.

The anxiety had been bubbling away all day inside your head like billowing storm clouds. You were grateful work kept you occupied, but once you arrived home, you trudged to your bedroom. You didn't even change out of your work attire.

You knew the source of all this, too.

Nanami came home injured while you were out dealing with another curse of your own. Thankfully, he had dealt with the bleeding himself and got checked out by Shoko. But to see him come so depleted of energy – dark shadows hanging under his eyes like bats, shoulders heavy – left you extremely unsettled. You were already an anxious mess, and now there are talks of a special-grade 'patchwork' curse. Not to mention the two unregistered cursed spirits that Gojo encountered.

What was going on in the world?

Now, he had been called out to the school again. After being badly injured, no less!

What if he was asked to fight the patch-work curse again? Was that curse able to perform Domain Expansions? Your husband never reached that height of jujutsu…

Would he… make it home okay?

You worked a "normal" job, not being employed at as a teacher at the highschool. As a grade one sorcerer, though, you were sometimes called in on particularly difficult and awkward missions. Your figured your problems with anxiety in the past would slowly fizzle away if you quit working at that highschool; after all, they couldn't make you exorcise and hunt down curses as often if you didn't work there. In your naivety, you assumed that'd be the end to your worries. But they only persisted and got worse the longer your husband of four years continued to work there as a teacher.

You couldn't resent him for it, and you knew he found greater fulfillment in being a teacher than adhereing to the laborious life of a salaryman.

But, maybe… your selfish thoughts got the better of you when you wished he could work a more "normal" job like you… If he worked a job where his safety was guaranteed…

How could you say such a thing? What kind of wife says that?!

Your hand collides against your forehead, releasing a (poorly contained) groan. Your teeth continued to chatter.

Now, I'm a bad wife on top of everything else…

Gruesome images flood your mind's eye. It's obsessive, relentless. After all, you have to prepare for the worst to come, right…? That's what you always do.

If you were by his side, would that make you feel any more relieved? Just by seeing him? But like a jolt, any solution you try come up with is met with more disturbing imagery. It was so vivid, it is as if you were there.

All that gore and worry conjured up in your cursed, anxious little head. The redness – so much red – of your imagery. It seeps and spreads along the ground at a terrifying rate, the image of someone – Kento – bleeding out. No one is there to help him.

You are.

You aren't gifted like Shoko, though.

There is no amount of horror – be it from forms of media or the wicked imagination – that can prepare a person for seeing the life ebb from another; the hopelessness, the tearing at the soul that is the departing of the other. As your loved one leaves this earth.

You're anxious, you're spiralling… You just wanted him to be okay. You wanted him to confirm with you he was okay. But you disturb him enough already with your texts and calls during missions.

Of course, in reality, if you hailed for Kento, he'd drop everything to be with you. He always has.

You didn't realize your thumb was hovering above the 'send' button. Through bleary eyes, you can see a hastily constructed text. Loaded with typos and errors. You're hardly able to read it though. Thumbs fidgting, you toss the phone.

You knew, logically, that he would want to help. He always has helped. But god, maybe you wanted to be big girl for once and try deal with it without him? Maybe be a good wife who doesn't send him a barage of texts when she's anxious?

Anxiety is the leak in your boat. You have to find a way to patch that hole or you'll drown.

But how can you when your worries revolve around your husband's safety?

You try cling to the logic that he has never refused you, made you feel stupid or invalidated you. Ever. But why would you cling to logic when the voice of your anxiety echoes through megaphone at you.

Of course, you're a distraction. Of course, you're a nuisance.

You hadn't even done a single chore to help around the house today. Some wife you were…

Kento would tell you that these thoughts you have are ridiculous. But you couldn't help it. You felt like you were holding him back from everything he deserved – you were so blessed to have a husband like him. You counted your lucky stars to be with him, but you ultimately felt like you didn't deserve him.

But Kento wasn't here now. So all you had was your mind to bully you.

The thoughts come as an electrical storm in your brain that, quite honestly, are painful. It's different from a headache and it feels the same as intense sorrow. It's uneven breaths as you claw at your chest, and it feels like you're suffocating; all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. It's sobbing to the point of staining your shirt. The intense images come at you with cursed intent. Like being hooked up to a cattle fence - not enough voltage to kill but sufficient to keep things uncomfortable, paralysed with fear and unmoving. And you couldn't, for the life of you, talk yourself out of the spiral.

It wasn't as if you didn't want Kento to be there. You were just denying yourself of his presence. You thought you were being brave, you thought—

Ping!

You lower your hands from your eyes. You gaze at the phone, blinking owlishy, before picking it up.

You let out a groan. In anxiously twiddling your thumbs by your screen, you had sent the (questionable-looking) text.

You don't even have time to berate yourself, for your ringtone begins to chime.

"[F/n], honey. I don't quite understand your text," he greets. He goes back to doing what he was doing – it sounded like he was tidying something away. "Principal Yaga has us staying behind at the school to–"

He stops.

He immediately stops upon hearing you whimper over the phone.

"Sweetheart?"

You mumble, "I-I– Um, N-Nanami, I–"

What if he loses his patience today? Will this be the straw that breaks the camel's back?

You can hear him shuffling over the phone. "Talk to me, what is it? Are you hurt?"

You don't want him to leave work on your account. Damn, your thumbs! If only it stayed as an unsent draft.

You panicked. "I-I'm fine! I think I just–"

You hear him sigh. "You're a terrible liar… You're not fine." A pause. "I'm coming home."

"No, Kento, please–!"

The call ends there. Your fingers seize up and your phone falls to the bed. Your wrists bash off your head, hitting yourself. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Ping!

Be safe. I'll be there in fifteen.

Your heart sinks, especially knowing that he'd probably break several road safety laws to get back to you as soon as possible.

Another notification arrives swiftly after that.

I love you. You'll be fine.

The fifteen minutes drag by so slowly. You're still rooted at the side of your bed. Not having changed, started laundry, started making dinner. You shake your head. It's frightful how automatically you chastise yourself for anything and everything. Once you hear the click of the door, you shudder and cower, waiting for him to come into your shared bedroom to berate you.

Your eyes are clamped shut still, even when you feel his calloused thumb rub at your knee.

"Oh, sweetheart…" he says, and when he speaks it's so soft. Soft like he'd holding fine china.

He's careful to not press your boundaries too much, not wanting to hold you tighter. But he doesn't sense any resistance right now. You let him hold you.

He holds you like you are the most precious and loveliest thing in his world.

(You are.)

As if you weren't crying enough already, his touch makes you crumble more.

"What has you so anxious, [F/n]?" he asks, rubbing your arms up and down. He pulls away briefly to ask, "May I sit?"

You nod and he sets himself down. You overwhelmed by his love. You always have been. He always spoils you with his soft, passionate touch and his gentle words. You sniffle and it takes every ounce of self control to not explode into a heaving, babbling mess (more than what you currently were.) You continue to sob into his arms.

"Shhh, shhh. You're alright, you're going to be just fine, sweetheart. But in order to be okay, you're going to have to stop holding your breath like that."

You hadn't even realized. You always had been an open book to him.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Your thoughts were so out of control, you were in a terrible cycle of either hyperventilating, or holding your breath. You shake your head, trying to break free. He doesn't let go entirely, but he loosens his grip. His hands hold yours, breathing deeply, as if trying to do it for you. You continue to resist, fighting his hold more as you take agonizing breaths.

"Let me hold you. Let me make things better. Let me stay."

You sob harder, knowing that once again he'll be picking up the pieces. Your pieces.

"What has you so worked up?" he asks, in between practiced, deep breaths.

Before you even have a chance to say anything, he whispers softly against your temple, "I love you. So, please, let me in."

And you let everything out.

He holds you close again once each and every worry comes out. He rocks you slowly back and forth, he plants the odd kiss to your dewy temple. He listens to you intently, taking in everything you say and more. He has heard these worries countless times before, and he listens to them as if these are being revealed to him for the first time. He gently 'shhhh's against your brow when you start to hiccup and unravel more.

As your husband, he wants to be able to promise you his safert; he wants to promise he'll come home in one piece.

But he can't do that. Because he doesn't know how any of this will play out.

So he hugs you, impossibly tighter.

"What can I do to help? Tell me what I can do to make it all okay…"

You want to be a good wife; you don't share the selfish thoughts you have, of wanting him to work at a normal job again. Even when he hated it, even when it left him feeling so drained.

So you say nothing and you let your little lie spread its wings.

You calm down in his arms, holding you until your limbs feel heavy. He continues to soothe you as best as possible. His voice was so achingly gentle, rubbing circles into your hips. It has your heart shattering into pieces.

Mindlessly, you mumble under your breath. "I just want you to be okay…" you admit.

He averts his gaze helplessly, because knows he can't promise you that. He relaxes and lays down on the bed, taking you with him. You undo the top button of his shirt.

He smiles sadly. It's the one thing he can't promise.

And though he'll never let you know, he feels like he fails in this duties as a husband.

But sometimes, he knows he's at least doing something right when he helps calm you down from such a state that you end up dozing off in his arms. He holds you til his arms limp and heavy.

In this blood-stained, fleeting life, he'll walk with you to the ends of this earth.

Even if he must depart early.

taglist: @levi-my-beloved @licuadora-nasir @nelapanela94 @whattheheckmidoriya @poisonpeche @unadulteratedtreecrusade @notgoodforlife @sckerman @theferricfox @happybird16 @jayteacups and idk who else

[positivelyruined]

Muse I need: Developing Romance muse

Muse I have: TAMLIN AND KIDS.

[jaca3rys]

Don't mind me just casually watching OBX season 4 and cutely skipping every scene until Rafe shows up

[bcyhoods]

steve would definitely feel a little bitter about not having the same alcohol tolerance that he used to

keg king steve has fallen from grace! and it’s supposed to be a fun little joke about how he’s matured and changed for the better, but it stings a little for some reason. suddenly, the word lightweight feels like the worst insult in the world and there’s this icky yucky feeling to prove himself to a party full of random people. now he’s doing a keg stand and when you see him, he’s drunk and being super touchy and clingy and asking “do you still think i’m fun even though i’m not king steve?”

[endereies]

hiiii pookie 🫶🏻

CECEEEE HEY HOW ARE YOUUU

[mot-hesbian]

I'm back on my Lily bs, especially with my headcanons

Ttpd is so Lily, Blair, and Jenny coded (some Serena but I feel like she's Evernights in a way I can't explain)

Here is my list from The Anthology

Fortnight- it's Dair, I have literally nothing else to say

The Tortured Poets Department- this is either post breakup derena or maybe dair

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: controversial take: this isn't 🪑. The vibes are wrong, it's Lily and William during their marriage (if you've read my fics you know what I mean by that. I have many feelings about them.)

Down Bad: Rufly??? Dair??? Serenate vibes??? 🪑???? Jagnes??? Who knows? It fits them all so well

So Long, London: it's 🪑. That's it. She tried so hard to hold on but he kept drifting away.

"You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding onto your quiet resentment. And my friends say it isn't right to be scared, everyday of a live affair, every breath feels like rarest air, and you're not sure if he wants to be there"

"You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"

"you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the alter waiting for the proof"

But Daddy I Love Him: Rufly, pure and simple.

"I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, screaming but Daddy I love him"

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to I've more second of all this bitching and moaning"

"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace"

"there's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fastest smile, scandal does funny things to pride but brings Lovers closer"

"now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun... I'm his lady, and oh my God you should see your faces. Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And no, you can't come to the wedding."

Fresh Out The Slammer: the 🪑 and Louis to Dair pipeline. She knows who her first call will be to. And so do we.

Florida: I saw someone say this song is Ivy and Lola, and yeah, that's them if they had a decent storyline. Also, Jagnes. Jenny and Lily. Serena. Blair would never go near Florida outside of spring break.

Guilty As Sin?: I saw an edit of Rufly to this song and now all I can think of when I listen to it is them is season 1 (pre hook up) and season 2 (pre relationship). Lily and Serena's talk in season 1, the Thanksgiving episodes, the winter dance episode, the whole PI bs, everything with Allison tbh

"what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind"

"without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?"

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?: It's Jenny.

"I am what I am cuz you trained me"

"you caged me then called me crazy" "I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?"

"I was tame, I was gentle til the circus life made me mean, don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth"

"I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, crash your party like a record scratch as I shriek "who's afraid of little old me?" You should be"

"At all costs keep your good name" "Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke"

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): 🪑

"the smoke cloud billowed out his mouth like a freight train through a small town. The jokes he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud."

"Your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger, I can fix him. No, really, I can. And only I can."

Loml: Season 1 and 2 Derena

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: Lily, Jenny, Blair, and a hint of Serena.

"All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting "more". I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks, cuz I can do it with a broken heart."

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit. They said "babe, you gotta fake it til you make" and I did."

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Lily and William. I'm obsessed with them and the psychological ramifications his existence alone has on her, your honor. Like, I hate him, I hate them, but I'm fascinated by how horrible their relationship is. Also, Eric and William to a degree. Serena never seems to reach this point.

"Was any of it true? Gazing at me starry-eyed in your Jehovah's Witness suit. Who the fuck was that guy?"

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know, if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

"you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public, showed me off"

"you didn't measure up, in any measure of a man"

"And you'll confess why you did it, and I'll say "good riddance," cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time"

"You kicked out the stage lights but your still performing"

"and in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive"

The Alchemy: Lily and Blair in gen tbh, but specifically with Rufus and Dan.

"cuz the sign on your heart says it still belongs to me"

"he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an 'e'"

"what if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map. I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong/to where I belong"

"so when I touch down, call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team. Ditch the clowns, take the crown, cause I'm the one to beat."

Clara Bow: it's the Cece (Clara) to Lily (Stevie) to Blair (Taylor) to Jenny (the new gen) pipeline for me. I can't explain how Cece fits, but she does. (Serena being told all the fresh air bs her entire life can be applied here as well)

"This town is fake, but you're the real thing. Breath of fresh air through the smoke rings. Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like Clara Bow in this light, remarkable. All your life did you know? You'd be picked like a rose."

"You look like Stevie Nicks in '75, the hair and lips. The crowd goes wild at her fingertips, half moonshine, a full eclipse."

"You look like Taylor Swift in this light, we're loving it. You've got edge she never did, the future's bright. Dazzling"

"the crown is stained, but you're the real queen, flesh and blood amongst war machines. You're the new god we're worshipping. Promise to be... Dazzling"

"Beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours demanding "more." Only when your girlish glow flickers just so do they let you know, it's hell on earth to be heavenly. Them's the breaks, they don't come gently."

The Black Dog: Lily and William

"and so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog and pierce new holes in my heart"

"And it hits me, I just don't understand, how you don't miss me. In The Black Dog, when someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up, but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined with the magic fabric of our dreaming. Old habits die screaming."

"And I may never open up the way I did for you. And those best laid plans. You said I needed a brave man and proceeded to play him until I believed it too."

"now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes. And hire a priest to exorcize my demons, even if I die screaming"

"Six weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke"

"I hope it's shitty, in The Black Dog"

imgonnagetyouback: Lily and William and 🪑, Serena during her one-sided pining for Dan era.

"even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you"

The Albatross: help, it's so Lily coded I can't

"Wise men once said, "Wild winds are death to the messenger," a rose by any other name is a scandal. Cautions issued, he stood shooting the messengers. They tried warning him about her."

"wise men once said "one bad seed kills the garden" "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen". Locked me up in towers, but I'd still visit in your dreams, and they tried to warn you about me."

"devils that you know, raise worse hell than a stranger. She's the death you chose, you're in terrible danger."

"cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you. She's the Albatross, she is here to destroy you"

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: Serenate or platonic Eric and Jenny works too

"if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say "I loved you, the way that you were"

"I changed into goddesses, villains and fools, changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you and you just watched it."

"could it be enough to just float in your orbit?can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses? Cooler in theory but not if you force it to be, it just didn't happen"

How Did It End?: Blair and Louis, more specifically Blair after the accident

"guess who we ran into at the shop, walking in circles like she was lost"

So High School: Rufly and Eleanor x Cyrus, I will not accept criticism

"I feel so high school when I look at you, cuz look at you"

"and in the blink of a crinkling eye, I'm sinking, our fingers entwined. Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights, tell me 'bout the the first time you saw me. I'll drink what you think, and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night, the brink of a wrinkle in time."

I Hate It Here: Lily and Jenny, they chose this life, regardless of how that choice was made, and it made them feel worthless. They both need to escape, they disappear into their different vices to help them cope.

"tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize"

"if comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck, now I know what's what. I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind, people need a key to get to, the only one is mine"

"I will go to lunar valleys in my mind, when they find a better planet only the gentil survived. I dreamt about it in the dark, the night I felt like I might die"

"I'm lonely, but I'm good. I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine. I'm save all my romanticism for my inner life, and I'll get lost in purpose. This place made me feel worthless."

thanK you aIMee: Jenny and Blair in high school

"all that time you were throwing punches, I was building something. And I can't forgive the way you made me feel. Screamed "fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushing. But I can't forget the way you made me heal."

"I built a legacy you can't undo, but when I count the scars there's a moment of truth. That there wouldn't be this, if there wasn't you."

I Look In People's Windows: it's Bart era rufly

"what if your eyes looked up and meet mine one last time"

The Prophecy: Jenny and Blair

Cassandra: I cannot explain it but this is Lily

Peter: Carter and Serena?????? Is that you???? She's Peter

"are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things Peter"

"the goddess of timing, once found us beguiling, Peter was she lying? My ribs say she did"

"lost in the lost boys chapter of your life"

The Bolter: Oh look, new Lily song just dropped. And Serena. To quote @strideofpride it always comes back to mothers and daughters

"with a quite bewitching face. Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun til you get to know her."

"then she runs like it's a race, behind her back her best mates laughed and they nicknamed her "the Bolter""

"she's been many places with men of many faces, first their off to the races and she's laughing drawing aces but none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting. Hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping."

"all her fucking lives flashed before her eyes, it feels like the time she fell through the ice, then came out alive"

"and at first blush this is fate. When it's all roses, portrait poses, central park lake row boats... That's when she sees the littlest leaks and just knows, she must bolt."

"ended with the slam of a door, then he'll call her a whore, wish he wouldn't be sore but if she was leaving it felt like breathing."

Robin: Eric, this is legit Lily and Serena when literally anything involves Eric

I can't even draw up lines, it's the whole song

The Manuscript: any relationship involving Blair

"all that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I reread the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore."

[skyloftian-nutcase]

HEY LOVELIES GUESS WHO CAME UP WITH MORE SILLINESS WHILE PLAYING ZELDA GAMES

SO. Y'all remember how Blood of the Hero stemmed from me replaying BotW and wanting to spice up the story? Fun fact about me, I can't replay a game without creating a new storyline for it in my head. So Blood of the Hero came about because I wanted to replay BotW and change the stakes, change the gameplay, change the order of things, etc. I love exploring how you can complete the game differently!

I decided to replay TotK.

But I wanted to do it differently. I wanted to avoid the main quest, build up hearts/stamina and complete the side quests because frankly they're the best part of the game to me. So I was like "how do I complete the game without getting the sages or the dragon tears?" I was puzzling over what new story I could create just for my own amusement to help me complete the game like this, and it hit me.

It's freaking Mystery Link. Who else would avoid the Main Plotline like the plague? That man can smell Destiny's Call from a mile away and Noped right out of there.

It just--it fits so perfectly and now I am having an absolute blast. Becuase I had to come up with logical reasons why the game mechanics are the way they are for Mystery Link, so why is he almost naked at the beginning? It's because he was washing his one (1) set of clothes in the river and got distracted by Friend, so then his clothes washed down the river and off a waterfall and he never found them so now he's running around in his underwear.

And this poor man. Is trying so hard. To get some clothes. But he went to Kakariko and the clothing shop is overpriced because the owner's grandma is sick, and he feels for her plight but he can't afford these prices. So off in his underwear he goes. But wait! Hateno! Fashion central! Surely they have clothes! He goes there, and has to stand around and listen to fashion people argue over tickets to get inside, and eventually when they give up he gets the solitary ticket, and--

Sophie: Oh, well since you're the only customer now, you can enter. :) Mystery: THANK HYLIA, I can finally get some-- Sophie: It's only an exhibition, but Cece herself is-- Mystery: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

The best part is that the first set of clothes Mystery and I could find was the barbarian top, and y'all, he was so annoyed.

Mystery, finding a big shiny treasure chest: :D Mystery, realizing there are clothes inside: !!!!! :D :D :D Mystery, realizing it's a glorified leather strap and a pelt to wear as a miniskirt: WHY

I am having so much fun. Also, fun fact, trying to complete this game without a paraglider is hellish but Mystery Link and I are accepting the challenge.

[laoixfish]

uhm, hey-

So uh, it's been a while... Sorry for the inactivity!!! Honestly it's crazy like I'll be super super into one platform I have for a while and forget the others until I realise I have another and just go through this wicked cycle all the time. I'm really really trying to be consistent across all my platforms though, so you will get more posts!!!

What will these posts include?

Inktober stuff [ days 1-3 and 4-6 posted apart ]

Minecraft [ Minecraft adjacent??? ] art

WOF ART, AW YEAH [ remembered how to draw dragons again !!! ]

Silly little doodles because obviously

LOKI ART ?!

uhm yeah. That's it ig. Hope y'all had a wonderful time bothering to read all this, have a very very nice day, uh... take this lil guy-

/\_/\ (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) / >🌷<\~⁠♡

[yourlittlettoy]

FIRST “NEST” HIGHLIGHTS ✨

Just for the sake of using this blog like an actual blogging space 💁🏻‍♀️✨ let me tell you about how my first NEST went!!

For those of you that aren’t familiar, NEST is one of the biggest fetish gatherings in North America for us t-word enthusiasts! I’ve known about it since forever ago, and this may it was my first time actually attending. It was: everything I’d hoped it would be (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ here are some highlights!

This gathering was probably one of the biggest I’ve ever been to in terms of the amount of friends I saw alone! There were pals from our Tumblr community, friends from Japan, everyone from my gathering friend groups, and lots of friends from my local community as well. It was really heaven to just be with all of my favourite people all at once and in one place (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡

The events were REALLY COOL! Definitely a gathering with one of the most comprehensive schedules I’ve ever experienced! I participated in as much as I could, but notably the squid games, auctions, and t-word-theatre (which is a big public t-word show where someone get’s got in front of an audience in a very theatrical way!) was super cool! Having said that…

I GOT KIDNAPPED!! Well, “napped” 😅 don’t worry, no real felonies here hahaha. When I applied to be ‘napped like back in the beginning of the year, I didn’t hear anything back at all about the process of how that was going. Knowing not every applicant ends up getting chosen, I didn’t let myself keep my hopes up. Long story short.. after I excitedly went to the t-word theatre event all pumped to watch someone get got… to my great surprise, that person was gonna be me lmao ‼️😱 I was kinda *taken* from my seat and tied to a chair in front of everyone, then a game show-dating show scenario played out with 3 bachelors behind a curtain answering questions (really funny and witty answers, might I add) that the show host threw their way 😆. Of course, then the host eventually asks the question “our bachelorette loves to laugh, how would you make her laugh?” … and basically I watched as all of them came through the curtain to come get me 😱 one by one…. And then !!! OF COURSE ALL THREE HAD TO COME AT ONCE 😱💀😵!!! And I couldn’t take it right so I was yelling “help meeee” hahaha ya know cause pooOOooOoOor meeeee 🤪😇. And the host was like… “sure I’ll help them” AND JOINED IN ON THE LERS SIDE 💀💀💀! ANYWAYYYY despite how extremely evil that was 😜🥺, it was 10/10 one of the coolest experiences of my life, I got an “I got napped” certificate AND it made me really happy when people approached me later saying they liked my scene (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ THANK U NEST FOR CHOOSING MEEEE! 🩷

This was the first gathering I been to with a partner and he was beyond lovely and supportive and we didn’t struggle with feeling any kind of restrictions due to each other .. and this means a lot because I intend on going to gatherings for as long as I can and the fact that that won’t interfere with my love life is truly a dream come true for me :)

Oh, and I experienced getting t-worded by one of my most sadistic gal pals in a fully nylon body suit and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I think my soul left my body that day lmaoooo RIP ME

Those are the highlights!!! This post really is a summary but happy to share more details if there are any questions 😁 thank you for reading and for following along this lil journey with me <3 I adore and appreciate all of you here with me right now! We’ve come a long way 🥰 maybe see some of you next year!!! 👀😙 that would be amazing!

[peace-for-levi]

Welcome Back

lol hiiiii, sorta haven't written in *checks watch* eight months so i am RUSTY.

cw: feelings of grief, graphic descriptions of dissociation, reader feeling disconnected and needing to be grounded. post-expedition hurt-comfort is my fav genre, lol.

word count: 1447.

taglist: @levmada @jayteacups @happybird16 @theferricfox @sckerman @wortverlust @lostinwildflowers @pockcock @nelapanela94 @notgoodforlife @unadulteratedtreecrusade @starstruckkittensweets

Arms up. Arms down.

Grief anchors and weighs you down like a ball and chain. It's heavy, cumbersome and you are left to just bear the brunt of it. It has a way of removing you from the world, leaving you unable (even unwilling) to reconnect. The most recent expedition and the deaths that came with it weigh down on your shoulders. You lean over, back hunched. Neck tense.

Distantly, you recognise what it is you are feeling (or lack of.) Distantly, you recognise the expedition has probably sent you into this state.

Your vision is 'stretched', or distorted, and everything has a dull fuzz to it. You're sure if you reached to grab the book on your bedside locker, it would slip through your fingers and melt away.

And that you'd wake up from this.

You form a fist and relax it, stretching your fingers. Lines on your fingers; oh, five fingers, all with fingernails. Five sets of knuckles. These are your hands? Surely, right?

You form a fist and this time you squeeze, and you almost feel your nails sink in. Just slightly but it's enough for you to shudder. In realization? In pain?

It's not unusual for your mind to be stuck out in the plains beyond the Walls. The boom and echo of flares rattles in your ears, the screams of your comrades leaves your head spinning. The idea of being back in your bedroom is just something you haven't registered yet, too busy stuck somewhere between a nightmare and reality.

A fake, shadowy middle of unreality.

It's nauseating, harrowing. If not for your feet pressed to the floor and your calves backed to the edge of the bed frame, you'd have a hard time trusting gravity in keeping you down.

There's a voice in the foreground, but you're not quite there yet. Their speech is fragmented.

You cling to reason; to routine and actions. You try to cling to dialogue and even though you understand the words, they don't get processed. You try to attune to the conversation, however one-way it is.

"Your shoulders tense up when you get like this. Relax."

Shoulders… ah, your shoulders? So you roll them. You don't really know what else to do. Tense? Why are you tense and what–

…

What are you…?

Where…?

Levi senses he's losing you further here, so he gives you an order. A command; you can latch onto that. It'll give your brain something to do, long enough to take you away from the plains.

"Legs out. I'll undo your buckles," he says as he kneels between your legs.

Leg up, straighten, leg down.

Same idea again for your left.

The frigid air against your – now – bare skin makes you shiver. Your clothes are being taken off, piece by piece.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Do you know…?" is a question that he noticed that also makes you come back to your senses. He has asked a question that requires a logical answer; you need to go searching for clues.

You know it's your bedroom – what else could it possibly be? – but it just looks so… wrong. In a moment of faint realization, you feel the night's gentle breeze prick the skin on your legs. You turn to the bedside locker and see a bowl of lumpy, congealed soup with a bread roll that looks like it's on the verge of going bad. You must have forgotten to eat it. There's an oil lamp next to the soup, as well as an old book. Reading is a bit too hard at the moment; you can hardly put together the title of the book.

Now you look in front of you. Of course the black hair and grey eyes belong to your lover, but he didn't look so real right now. If you reached out to touch him, would you feel the black tresses spill between your fingers? The war-torn hands clasp your own?

You sink your fingertips into his scalp. He lets it happen, lets you cling to him. He doesn't even flinch, he knows you need grounding. He brings a hand up and rests it on yours, as if to say…

Feel me.

I am alive. You are alive. We are both here, and you will not wake up from this.

(Your brain just needs a lot of convincing.)

He squeezes his hand over yours. "You're getting ready for a bath, I'm helping you," he states. More information to cling to. "Whatever you're feeling, let it be there."

He is slowly walking you to your ensuite. The ground beneath your feet felt soft, even for oak planks. You fumble as you walk, second-guessing your surroundings, but Levi's got you.

He's always there.

The boundaries of the room appear elusive and murky, as you reach out for the skirting on the sides of the bathroom door. Levi was smart and had the bath ready to go, warm water prepped. With a cupped palm, he gently guides you into the bath.

"Step in."

A command to follow.

Leg up, over, and sit.

You soak into the heated water and sit down. You vaguely feel the suds cling to you. The aware part of you hopes they'll wash away the muddy feeling.

Levi begins to fill up a bucket of the sudsy water. He takes a look at your toned back, marred with grime, dirt and caked blood, and stops. He thumbs over some of the rougher sores and tears; some of these scars have been there for years. Shades of purples and blacks and reds, dotting the surface; all serving as a horrific reminder that, so far, you have made it back home every time.

You watch the dirt drip down and swirl in the water, floating there.

Silence permeates between the two of you, and normally, it is a comfortable silence. But Levi wanted to check in.

"How are you doing now, [F/n]?"

Blink. You stare back at him with pupils blown, looking at everything and nothing. "Fine."

"Do you know who I am?" He asks, carefully, scrubbing your shoulders.

Black hair, grey eyes. "Levi…" you murmur.

He nods. Should he press further? He's not sure.

Dissociation is a fickle defense mechanism with a hair-trigger temperament. It can be the deaths of the comrades in your most recent expedition; it could also be triggered by the smell or sound that reminds you of something unpleasant. It sometimes comes when it wants and Levi learned the best way to deal with it was to not deal with it. To let it happen, and sit beside you as it does.

"Don't fight it. Let it be there."

But you don't want it to be there. You stretch out your palm and reach for the towel, but you just hold it. Maybe for comfort, maybe to feel a texture. You register the caked blood by your cuticles and you keep it in your mind's eye for a second, but your vision starts to splinter again.

"But it feels awful…" you find yourself saying. "I hate not recognising my surroundings, I hate not–"

He cuts in. "I know, sweetheart. I know." He takes hold of your hand and squeezes. "I know." He assures.

Because he does.

He's sat with you through every episode of this.

He guides you out of the bath when you're done, and dresses you in your nightgown. He sweeps your hair up and out of your face, before cupping your cheeks. You practically fall into his hands. He pats your cheek in response.

"You back with me yet?"

You shake your head, but your answers are coming out quicker now. He steers you with one hand on the small of your back and peels back the comforter.

As the room gets shrouded in darkness, you're pulled to his chest. A smell of cedar and black tea, the thrum of his pulse and the rise and fall of his chest. Small circles being etched into your hips by his thumb.

"We're going to try to rest now." He tells you.

A command of sorts, something to stick to.

Get in bed, lie down, and breathe.

"Yes, okay," you mumble as you twiddle your thumbs. "Okay."

He pulls you impossibly closer, nose in the crook of your neck and suddenly... you're in the clear.

"I'm [F/n]. I'm in my room. I'm with Levi…" you whisper to yourself, with confidence.

"Welcome back," your lover sleepily replies.

{friendly reminder acceptance doesn't work for everyone but it is a healthy start for some!}

[positivelyruined]

I swear this was not intentional,

But in my rewrite….

ACOMAF (A Court of Mist and Fury)

is set to become

ABOTAM (A Ballad of Time and Memory)

I SWEAR…it wasn’t intentional.

[jaca3rys]

Can i just say I LOVE how awkward Anakin is around Padmé in AOTC because it just shows how much his feelings developed for her over the ten years they were apart and how he loves her despite the situation in this essay I will

[bcyhoods]

imagine making out with steeb and his glasses start fogging up and he’s just like woah😳 here come the windshield wipers and it’s just his fingers cuz he’s a dork

[endereies]

hi i’ve missed you

Hiiiii I've missed you too how are you🤍🤍

[nxmuzluv]

girl throwing a fit on ur talk blog bc u got called out for PLAGIARISM is insane,,,,,,,, like maybe own up to what u did or stop having a temper tantrum like a 3 year old ! it's not our fault that u can't be original babe !