#clearly i come to games for different things than some people and thats fine but also. i am not here because i crave fucking fantasy slurs

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

another day on tumblr reading another post that implies im a miserable racist bigot for thinking i would perhaps like some role playing variety in my role playing game

[scatterpatter]

SONIC 3 MOVIE REVIEW/SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Still riding my high of just seeing it but like HERE'S MY INITIAL THOUGHTS

Not spoilered review: GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT. FLAWED BUT GOOD MOVIE!!!!

MASSIVE SPOILS UNDER THE CUT

Sonic is such a good character in this one. He goes through a really good and believable arc and I just. He's so good.

Tails is perfect but what else is new

CHAO GARDEN. 11/10 NO NOTES.

KNUCKLES IS AMAZING. I LOVE HIM. NO NOTES. He also has an amazing moment with Sonic where he tries to be like "Hey you're not in a good headspace to use the emeralds right now man, I trust you and I'm asking you to trust me here" and he just. *CHEF'S KISS*

MULTIPLE "THEY DID/SAID THE THING" MOMENTS LETS GO!!!! I saw multiple references to SA2 of course but also Sonic Heroes, Shadow the Hedgehog, and a few more!!!

Maddy and Tom are fine. They don't really show up let alone do anything for 95% of the movie but like- when they're there they're fine *shrugs* Neither of them go through any character arcs, they're just supporting roles here, and that's all good and fine. I like how Tom getting severely injured really affects Sonic!! It's good shit!!!

SHADOW IS PERFECT. Augh. They really did their homework and absolutely nailed his characterization- While some of Keanu's line reads didn't QUITE hit how they should've, but like still 9/10 performance and 10/10 characterization. He's so good.

MARIA! IS! SO! GOOD!!! She feels like a real child and like a child from the 70s too!!!! She feels like a real person and not just "Shadooowwww you have to protect humanityyyyy the earth is so perfect you must protect them!!!" Don't get me wrong I love the original Maria but this one feels real and i LOVE HER.

BIOLIZARD WAS THE CREATURE IN THAT GODZILLA-ESQUE MOVIE MARIA AND SHADOW WERE WATCHING LETS GOOOO

So they didn't shoot her directly which... yeah thats fair. Execs probably wouldnt have let it slide for their PG rating. The fact that more than one guy WERE firing even though there were children ("CHILDREN", PLURAL- COMMANDER SAW SHADOW AS A CHILD LETS GOOO!!!!) and that caused Maria's death is about as good as we were gonna get for these movies and I'm fine with that!

The whole rewrite of backstory lore for movie-verse? Im fine with tbh. Shadow arriving in a meteor is a good possible foreshadow (hehehe foreshadow) to Black Doom and all of that- and I'm fine with things being on Earth and not the ARK, like- movie-verse is clearly a different continuity so I'm fine with all of that

Agent Stone is good but man my mans deserved better. He KINDA got a bit of justice towards the end but ehhhh? Other than that he was fine.

G.U.N. was. Fine. They clearly wanted to go a "Some people in G.U.N. were good guys but overall G.U.N. sucks and Sonic and crew eventually learn that" angle but they never really follow through with that set-up. Once both keys are retrieved G.U.N. is baaaasically forgotten about. Which sucks :/

I hope Shadow comes back somehow. That'd be nice. Kinda like the games where hey maybe there's some memory loss or something or other- idk, it'd be nice for him to come back.

... Was Gerald's whole "Scorpion nanobot armor" thing a reference to Sonic Spinball or am I insane. Am I insane. Idk.

... Okay. Elephant in the room time.

I DON'T CARE FOR JIM CARREY ANYMORE MY GODDDD. Like. Okay. He was perfectly fine as Ivo and Gerald early in the movie!!! It was fine! But when Ivo and Gerald team up... Im ngl you guys its just too many Carrey-isms that rreeeeaaaally overstay their welcome. It's tonally dissonant from the rest of the story they're trying to tell- Like yeah they can be silly and goofy sometimes but like. It takes away from the moment too many times.

It's a kids movie I know I know, but like- kids movies can and should take themselves seriously when the time calls for it! They had such a good setup for some really good moments!!!

Like Gerald having his heel-turn moment of "You're no Maria. My family is dead." was really good!!!! ... But then he just goes to being a goofy sort of villain again? And just Jim Carrey's all over the place???????

Like I think the worst offense was when Sonic and Shadow have their Live and Learn moment (WHICH! BTW!!! IS AMAZING!!!!! OMG LIVE AND LEEEAAAARN) and it's this AMAZING and CINEMATIC BADASS MOMENT- and then smash cuts to Gerald. Spanking. Ivo. With a big ol robotic hand and it's like... Oh. Oh wow it really killed the moment huh.

And when Gerald's sendoff was getting basically "Thousand years of death"'d or whatever the Naruto meme is- by a fucking Sonic quill and then just. Just. Bug zapper'd. With no real... anything behind it. I genuinely had a "Wait thats how he dies???" moment in the theater. Like. Seriously???

It's. Not good. And I really don't care for it and felt it reeeeaaally detracted from the movie- Again I know it's a kids movie but HEY KIDS MOVIES CAN TAKE THEMSELVES SERIOUSLY! Like. Like there's plenty of good humor (I think a good example is Team Sonic's first encounter with Shadow- good quips but also taking things seriously) but like- When a story is trying to be as serious as the FUCKING PLOT OF SA2, you can take it seriously! There's massive stakes here!

Ivo got a fine sendoff. It was fine. I dunno. It felt better than Gerald's shitty ass sendoff. I just. I hope it's for real. I want Jim Carrey to retire. He was fine in the first like 30 minutes but after that I was verrrry sick of him.

BUT.

Im so happy guys im so happy BEFORE I SAW THE MOVIE I CALLED IT I CALLED IT

METAL AND AMY CONFIRMED FOR THE NEXT MOVIE!!!!

You know what needs to happen now, right? Right?

YOU MAY KNOW EVERYTHING IM GOING TO DO, BUT THATS NOT GOING TO HELP YOU SINCE I KNOW EVERYTHING YOURE GOING TO DO!

STRANGE, ISNT IT?!?!

But yeah like. Hm. 7/10 Too Much Jim Carrey.

[tossball-stick]

everyones freaking out over the brothers thing, but they state that they arent actually related, and the term brother for men youre unrelated to has a long homoerotic history. especially during the victorian period, of which piltover is inspired by. you guys dont need canon reasons to ship things, you can ignore canon thats fine to do. regardless, here is another reason you all can ship the yaoi brothers guilt free: they arent actually brothers, therefor you can ship them.

like seriously guys please for the love of god stop acting like you arent allowed to think differently than the show creators and game writers. there is so much LoL lore that im rewriting for myself because it doesnt matter. you can do whatever you want forever, and also riot doesnt care about the games lore whatsoever. even if there are people working on it with love, riot is just forcing another fucking rewrite of all of it. so who cares

this isnt even to mention the fact that the show itself loves to compare and contrast familial and romantic love; the show loves paralleling vi and jinx (familial) to vander and silco (romantic; also!! they call each other brothers!!!! the show itself uses brother as a homoerotic term of endearment!!! you can too), as well as making vi's two choices be between family and romance, with jinx jealous of caitlynn 'replacing' her. again, we are seeing the emphasis of how familial and romantic love are intertwined with each other. like, ultimately this should be its own post, but im trying to make my point here:

jayvik is purposefully vague about its status om whether its romantic or familial love. you can interpret it however you like, thats no sin. what IS the sin is that riot games (allegedly) has a history of doing this with their characters. there are many more instances of LoL characters that are clearly intended to have gay vibes with others of the same gender, but they cant just outright confirm that. fucking. udyr and lee sin come to mind as blatant examples of this, they have extremely gay vibes and lore and dialogue (they even love to be nebulously fused like jayvik), but have no actual word on their relationship. they could genuinely just be really good bros, or they could be gay! its up to you.

in conclusion, if youre letting this stop you from shipping fictional characters: stop it! get some help! have some creativity of your own and make things up that may seem out of character. thats the point of fandom- have fun with it. if youre scared about something not being canon, i have something i regret to tell you: none of your interpretations of either of these characters is anything close to canon!! nobodys is!! theyre our interpretations, so do whats most fun!!

[callmegaith]

Oh... I saw a post on Reddit about some fans feeling like Rusty Lake is losing its plot with the last few games and it hurt to read cuz it made me realize... Yeah... Kinda. At first I thought "I just didn't care much about the last 2 games cuz they're about the Vanderbooms who I don't really give much of a crap about." But resurrecting characters like Albert out of nowhere and shit is like... Ugh. We didn't need him to come back his story ended fine in Roots. There are other characters who deserved more lore exploration. I'm biased clearly but literally been waiting so long for Mr. rabbit lore that sometimes feels is never gonna come and I'll forever be wondering why he did what he did. How he got there. And what happened to him or where he is now. And the whole two rabbits mystery yada yada yada. Literally one of the most mysterious characters. Seemed to have a plan and his own story happening in the background of Hotel and Birthday..... And then he's just never brought up again except in Dale's memories.

I miss the story being revolved around Dale and his journey to the lake... He's been stuck in that fucking elevator for ages now and I want the story to progress past that. I know they probably are trying to tie loose ends before they progress to that point but sometimes in efforts to do that, they're just muddying an already complicated plot more than it should be.

Like brotha I went on hiatus from the games for a couple of years and came back AND HES STILL IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR AND LIKE 3 OTHER GAMES CAME OUT AT THAT TIME. The white door was pretty cool I liked the focus on Bob who had little lore before

The past within tho it has a cool concept is when things just started falling apart

I'm stuck hyperfixating on the games up to paradox cuz thats the golden age for the games for me. Everything after Paradox was just... Meh

People might disagree and that's fine. But something is starting to feel different and wrong about the games and I hope I HOPE the next game puts things back on track.

[maxinemeows]

(I originally posted this on twitter but I wanted to share my thoughts on class of 09 the flipside here too!)

OKAY FIRST OF, DONT SHOOT ME- I DO NOT SUPPORT THE CREATOR- I just saw the tweet of the person that came out with his story with the creator.

I don't like bullying and especially towards younger people so yeah! This opinion is about just the game! 😭😭😭 (Even tho the creator has done all the bad stuff long ago he might still be doing this in the present? I have no idea but hey, I will not risk it until I see evidence or whatever the fuck. 😃)

I think people are shocked that having a protagonist that isn't a sociopath makes the game less funny. (Because of Jecka's emotional and normal reactions.)

I get it, you wanted comedy, you wanted to laugh but you got something else, cope! I think it's good to see a real side of this universe.

Not only we see how bad Nicole can be, to even Jecka (nuance is important) but we also see the aftermath of Nicole's hostage friendship route!

Let me break it to you, it is supposed to not be funny, it is supposed to be heartbreaking.

Jecka's dad situation has funny moments but ultimately is it really funny at the end of the day?

Also for the people that say "there is too much feet shit," the game has 5 main routes, only 2 of its routes have that as their "main thing" like in the Re-up, with the homeless route.

You can obviously criticize this game obvi, but some people seem to miss the point about multiple aspects about it.

Like- it still has the same ingredients from the past games- what, you just dont like it because Nicole is being Nicole??? Or think that the abuse "feels too real"?

(Additional stuff that I included because I had more to say.)

Maybe I am being biased and just like the series so much that I refuse to perceive this third game as a bad one, sure maybe.

But maybe a lot of people are projecting waaay too much onto this game. Like maybe expecting fan service is bad?? And some things are obviously meant for fanfics? (I am talking about people being shocked for not having more "ship moments," like come on that's not realistic.)

Also, the thing of "this is clearly fetishistic bait for the creator" I cannot see it. (I again might be wrong.)

No feet were shown (so the focus was clearly not in the sexual aspect of it.) Jecka and Nicole were clearly uncomfortable the entire time and the boys were mocked by the characters and narrative! Basically like all the pedo jokes in literally the entire saga! But this is better because they at least killed Jeffrey???

And now the pain fetish thing, that I see it even less, again we are playing as Jecka, the non sociopath, she has an abusive father and it will suck! And the game treats it as it should be! It is scary and it is not fun, and still it cracks pretty good jokes from time to time about it.

I'm gonna say what everyone wants to say, this game is uncomfortable and its a different experience than the other two!

But I dont think the execution and the game itself is bad *because* of that. Things can be good and make you feel those things and thats completely valid!

If you want some saphic content from this franchise do not worry there are so many amazing writers and artists here that you will be fine no matter what!

Anyways this was my silly long yapping session, hope other people that feel similarly will see this. :P

[fayedartmouth]

Jj is my favourite from the start. And when I discovered wattpad and ao3 that's all I have been reading, fics about jj. But yours are different. I saw a little bit of others focusing on jj's mental health and thats it. But you, you are writing excatly what I wantted to read my whole life. There was so much potentional for jj and the pogues to just help eachother. Jj was struglling really bad and it was so sad to watch and none of the helped him, talked to him. Even kie was cold to him. Since I found you I read every single one story on ao3 and I am more than happy to be able to read the others. These snippets are everything, you got me excited for them like they would be coming tommorow all.

And you write it so good I can imagine the scenes, I can cry when I read it or laugh. You write jj just like him, just like I always thought he was. So good luck with everything you write cuz I see you have been here for a loong time and you know how to write. 🫶

Literally, I can't shut up. So yeah, it's under a cut.

I feel like I'm kind of old and just never even attempt Wattpad -- but now I'm wondering if there's any JJ fic there that I'm missing out on. Because I want so much JJ fic, lol.

But thank you! The thing about fic and fandom is that it's really just anything people want it to be, and people should always write what they want to write and read what they want to read. We're all here to have fun, and there are just no specific guidelines on how/why to do that.

For me, it's just always been about delving into the mental game. I use whump to get me there basically all the time, but the mental state of characters is what drives me. And especially for a character like JJ, where his mental health is so clearly an important part of what makes us love him.  I remember watching in S1, being on the fence about JJ -- and then there was hot tub scene, and we just saw him fall apart and I realized how much this kid needed and how much he was hurting and I was done for.  Like I was 100% done for, and I haven't stopped writing him since.

Which is why what the show did in S4 was so weird?  And upsetting?  Because I was totally fine with how dark they took JJ -- and that he was making mistakes and unraveling.  But they completely failed to put him back together.  I was expecting some version of the hot tub scene -- with the hurt, the revelation, and the comfort -- but like it just never came and then he was dead and I was just horrified.

So I am going to fix it, lol.  For my mental stability, I have to fix it.

And that's just kind of you to say, all around.  For me, it's weird, but writing is my purest form of expression, the place where I exist most fully.  Sometimes that makes me anxious, because sharing that part of myself can be overwhelming and makes you feel vulnerable.  But it's been such a joy to share JJ with other people and to have that joint sense of love and community over him.  It kind of makes my day.

I'm always writing but it just varies on how fast I'm able to go.  I've enjoyed the snippets as a low stress way to get things out -- because usually I only post finished fics, so it's kind of fun just to share stuff as I go with no promise of completion or deadline.  And what I will say is that sharing fic and fandom is truly a reciprocal experience.  So getting feedback makes it so much more fun -- thank you!

[joculatrixster]

thank you for replying! -i understand where youre coming from but i feel like some of the points you brought up about scott can't just be boiled down to homophobia if that makes sense- like people see scott as calculated because he calls making allies/friendships a 'social game' etc . and obviously grian and joel berating and teasing jimmy also isn't entirely fine but i think toxicity in the context of an alliance vs a canon-explicit marriage should be weighed differently, but ultimately im not sure that grian is actually necessarily "worse" than scott; while i think grian and joel and jimmy do have an unbalanced dynamic alot of the 'berating' between them is more like 'jimmy you idiot you died to xyz' whereas with scott in 3l it felt a bit more manipulative likewhen scott purposely placed something to scare jimmy and then made fun of him for being scared but. idk

also i think everyone understands that they're friends in real life and nothing ccjimmy is actually uncomfortable with would make it into a video but this is just to think about/interpret their characters within the context of the roleplay/storyline

again this isnt meant as an attack or anything at all - i just wanted to talk about why some people would have a different interpretation of fh!

thats fair, i read ur reply when i was busy i dont remember it well but honestly a fair take ^-^b i dont think it ALL is sorry i didnt make it clear i think the reason its POPULAR is bc scott fans r not rlly the ppl doing this its jimmy fans who dominate the fandom way more, but the fact irs happening to the gay guy IS weird and something to raise a brow to especially when there r more weird extreme fans who take it wayyy too far

it feels unbalanced to me bc it is, grian and joel have more fans in the life series rlly than scott bc most scott fans r just not life series postinfg, so when grian or joel does something mean to others in a similar vien its seen less in a negative light. im going off of memory so forgive me if i get a bit fuzzy w it

scott teases jimmy their friendship is kinda rivalry type thing its rlly just how they r, but ppl r not as used to it which is understandable too. idrc if ppl think scott is a bit manipulative hes just like. vilinized for it or seen as cold when he clearly still cares for his allies? he sacrificed SO much time in lil, he let ppl kill him in secret life, i wish i saw ppl rlly speak more on those better parts of him but also its just more normalized to intpret his actions more cold than it is for say grian who could be seen as cold for how easy he sheds alliances.

every intpretation is fine but w scott it genuinely goes into character bashing territory or just making him the stand in vilian jimmy needs to be saved from in fandom spaces which is agian fine if it happened to other characters who r similarly manipulative or calculating(martyn, scar, impulse even...) but deadass ive never seen anyone but scott put in such a position. which is weird. to me. especially when framed as him being bashed or vilinized for his straight friend who ppl hc he abuses like...ok. but where is the same energy for scar who is deadass evil af in 3rd life and limited life..? scar who destroys the ranch and kills his mother and doesnt apologize for either??? is it bc ppl just like him more so it makes more sense wven he does manipulative stuff??? martyn who is notoriously devisive for his ending and playstyle but in fics like its not great but he tends to not be as hated or put in the same level of bashing pll do for scott? hes prob the closest ive seen to the way scott is seen as an easy stand in vilian but i have not seen it as bad for him?

tho anon no not everyone understands there is a group of ppl who genuinely think scott in real life is an abusive person and actually that inspired my original post bc pll said w their whole chest they think scott is bad and makes jimmy uncomfortable

sorry if this is jumbled the other anon message is turning me into the joker...i get what u mean and i DO think its naunced but ppl REFUSE to acknowledge how weird it can feel for others to see and while i do think there r other factors...this fandom has leaned into homophobia for scott especially more frindge jimmy fans, sorry i think i mixed up a lot of things in my replys i was busy and also i genuinely dont care enough about tumblr anon posting to explain every naunce of an issue ie why i put pearl as a tag on bc the mysongy of all that is not for today thank u ^-^b

[gikairan]

If you wanna know my thoughts on the game (There will be some spoilers)

Its good! I had a lot of fun! At no point did i go "wow im not having fun"!!!

The combat didnt overstay its welcome, and stayed a good difficulty all the way through. The major bosses managed to all feel pretty different and were engaging to play

And like.... ive seen hints of what people are Discoursing about and i just dont care...

One is "you cant be evil!" And like, have you been able to be evil since DAO? Have you?? Because you kinda havent.

"Writing is bad" Idk man it seemed fine to me. Look, maybe i just like wallowing in trash or something, idk. But nothing made me cringe, nothing made me wish for it to end. Like, the worst i feel in terms of the games writing is that there was one faction, and associated companion, i could not care less about. So that content was a slog. But ill be honest, the entire concept of that faction was always going to be a hard sell to me.

"Companions arent mean to each other!" Idk man, half the fandom hates the (mostly female) characters that are mean to their male favs so like... having everyone get along was probably for the better. Also did you miss the part where Solas commends you for building a team based on trust and friendship? It is literally a power of friendship story!

Like ill give that theres not a lot of opportunity for roleplaying. Rook DOES feel like a very set personality that you can customise exactly what they say, but it all kinda ends up the same vibe But... have many Bioware games are different? Having a voice acted PC limits how many dialogue options you can have, because otherwise the amount of voice lines needed just grows and grows and grows. Like it doesnt feel wrong to me, because thats sort of what i expected from a modern Bioware game? And maybe others should lower their expectations too? this is clearly the course the studio is on, and if you dont like it... you dont have to play their games? Spend more time playing Larian games, or... Owlcat i think theyre called? The ones who made the Pathfinder games, and Warhammer Rogue Trader. Give them your money, and prove theres a demand for that kind of stuff. Instead of expecting a studio owned by a publisher a little hostile to single player story based games to give you that kind of RPG.

Like, i had a good time. I dont really care what other people didnt like about it. There wasnt any big major things that bothered me..... Seriously my biggest complaint is "I dont like how they handled Taash being an immigrant, and their Choice being a binary decision between Qunari culture and Rivain culture. Especially combining with their sub-plot of exploring their gender identity as... non-binary. It feels contradictory!"

Everything else is fine! Its exactly the kind of game i enjoy!!

I also did feel like Bioware heard some of the most common complaints about Inquisition and basically did the opposite. WAY more focus on companions, reduction of busywork quests, more focused maps, making a big decision that actually has major consequences for the rest of the game.... its all a pretty big improvement. I appreciate it a LOT, because playing inquisition again was a struggle. This is way more FUN to play, and will be easier for me to replay in the future

IDK man, i just wish people would stop complaining every time a new dragon age game comes out and it isnt exactly what they want 🙃 I definitely have a lot less complaints about this game than Inquisition, and boy did i get tired of the discourse around Inquisitions release!!

[thebreathofthewild]

"but every zelda is like that!"

half-true. while that essence of gotta "save zelda from ganon" is present in most of them - but not all (like majoras mask) - there are some that have a more compelling story than others, and better characterization than others.

for instance, wind waker has a more fleshed-out ganondorf. while still the villain, he is more of a tragic figure with pathos. he is also thematically compared to the king of hyrule in their mutual unwillingness to let go of the past.

midna was a compelling redeemed anti-hero in twilight princesss with a lot of personality, character development, and love put into her characterization. shes many peoples fave character in all of zelda.

skyward sword had a lot going for it in terms of character & story. it created a coherent origin story for the franchise, and especially was praised for the relationship between link and zelda.

breath of the wild was clearly not made with a "story first" mindset at all. but it still cared a little bit about princess zelda herself as a character. i've talked about this before in terms of her personality and character development - but its also important to note, she's never actually a captive. she willingly keeps ganon at bay with all of her power. and shes arguably more of a main character than link.

next to the evolution of nintendo creating interesting characters, this matters because of the discussion arounds womens agency in video games. especially with nintendo, whose idea of female empowerment was previously "lets make a princess peach game where shes playable but has oUt of cONTrOL eMOtiONs and the ending is a vibrator joke." more on this issue here:

so if zelda really is just captured in TOTK and thats it, no choice, agency or character arc, its clearly a regression.

currently, TOTK gives me "mario galaxy 2" vibes: we're gonna develop these mechanics so that players can have a lot of fun, but we're going to take steps back, not forward, when it comes to story.

a good critique of that exact problem is this video:

and you might argue thats fine for a mario game, but its not the direction i want zelda to go in. i want zelda to be like a gesamtkunstwerk with fantastic gameplay, music, characters, AND story. and so far, pretty much only majora's mask has lived up to that.

of course we dont know if thats true yet, but everything seems to point to it. we havent seen a single thing to suggest zelda had any agency or choice in whatever happens to her in TOTK. the initial trailer seemed to promise a darker tone, more story focus, maybe even fleshed out characterization for ganondorf and playable zelda - and every other trailer has walked those ideas back.

and i think its safe to say this now: zeldas likely not playable. despite the hype around the shorter hair, and her + link exploring together. its links game, and zeldas role seems very limited. that could change, but at this point, we had the promise of a lot more cutscenes for zelda herself in BOTW. and she was barely physically present there.

this is also not just frustrating because of the conversation around agency, but because i like when story and gameplay work together to create new, exciting experiences. that's part of the brilliance with majora's mask - the 3 day cycle is both a stressful emotional experience and a fantastic physical gameplay mechanic. with TOTK, the idea of co-op or different characters playing different roles (zelda exploring underground, link exploring the sky) could create exciting new gameplay opportunities. sometimes, an interesting story can make gameplay better.

TL;DR - while my excitement for the gameplay of TOTK has increased with new trailers, my expectations for the story have plummeted. the first trailer seemed to suggest nintendo has taken to heart the frustration some players had with lack of story in botw... and with new trailers, shoved those concerns up their ass and doubled down on the BOTW philosophy of "freedom and explorative gameplay first, story never."

and i dont think those ideas have to be in opposition. they haven't always been. majora's mask exists. i know the zelda franchise has it in them to deliver both gameplay and narrative. and i want them to evolve, not just rely on the old tropes of "save the princess" for decades to come, even as gameplay evolves.

TOTK feels like peak nintendo philosophy in that they clearly spent 98% of their time developing and polishing new gameplay mechanics meanwhile the story is probably "link. zelda fell in a hole. gotta get her. ganon is ganondorf again but still just the same evil scawy boss"

[cyanlastride]

finally got around to watching rt's video on needy streamer overload, and it looks like a pretty cool game. watched some of the endings too. oddly relatable, which probably isnt a great thing. the whole ame/p-chan thing was... like, is this that bad? should i not be doing this? i dont really know how to...

it kinda brings up the question of why im writing any of this. its certainly not for any average user of this app, because i dont tag stuff so its basically impossible to find. its not really to communicate with my friends, because i have two of you on here and the stuff that i write isnt really meant for you to read. like, if you do thats great and feel free to engage and stuff but im fairly confident that neither of you have read anything past the first couple posts i made and thats totally fine but also hasnt stopped me from posting stuff. so the only person who is currently reading any of this on a day to day is me. which probably isnt healthy.

but maybe reading isnt the point? maybe i just enjoy writing this stuff? i find contentment in speaking into the void? does writing stuff as lily help me? or is it hurting? what does that even mean, writing as lily? did i write differently before?

am i trans, or am i delusional? does it matter? yes. yes i think it must. because there must be a difference between being literally trans and wanting to be someone youve made up because you hate yourself. you cant just be an evil prick and then decide to try again as a girl. is that what im doing? i think it is.

ive thought about this for a while, but its the first time im writing it down. im scared to post it, because it means that other people could potentially know in the future that ive had these thoughts, and they might be thoughts that youre not supposed to think. and this entire blog is proof that ive acted on them, at least a little. plus those assignments that i signed as lily. ive known that ive been thinking about this, but even that isnt permanent, because my memory is terrible. this is permanent. well, not actually, the internet forgets things too, but itll last a lot longer.

and again, i ask, to whose benefit is this? will the fact that i have written this on the internet bring me peace? ... ... ... it might.

what is my obsession with openness? i know it hurts people. i have hurt more people by telling them the truth than i ever have by lying. honesty is not a virtue, it simply a characteristic, same as all the others. will this post hurt people? possibly. i dont want it to. i dont see how it could hurt anyone other than myself at the moment, but im also pretty tired and not thinking 100% clearly.

i am probably going to regret this tomorrow.

but fuck it. this is a space where i am shouting my secrets into the void and if you didnt want to hear them you shouldnt have come here. this is my space, and im allowed to say whatever i want.

[adrianasunderworld]

so i dont see anywhere on your bio or pinned that says if your requests/asks are open so i will tentatively assume they are

(trigger/content warning for manslaughter, suicide (in that it is manslaughter disguised as suicide), dissociation, hanging, descriptions of blood, etc. like seriously its wack. also spoilers for OMORI if you haven't finished that game)

so in the headmistress rosehearts au with all of the bs going on, there has to come a point where yuu simply snaps. and many people break differently, some have a fit, some cave in on themselves, etc.

and in this state, its common to do things without thinking, things that you may even regret. and since omori is currently my hyperfixation, and i hate myself, lets do a thing, shall we?

so imagine this.

-----

ms rosehearts is, once again, making a big stink about something not very important. lets assume you goofed on a potion in class that day, and the mistress is here to deal with that personally.

from an outside perspective, you are clearly not there. you're standing there, head down, completely silent, nearly deaf to the belligerent nonsense spewing from ms rosehearts mouth.

you clench your fists, and start to try to walk away.

you are alone here.

ms rosehearts grabs your wrist, yelling about how she isnt finished, and that disobedience like this will not be tolerated. standing against the staircase, her voice taking on a whole new volume as she screeches endlessly about their insolence.

but you are. you are finished. all these emotions, hatred and resentment, and an overbearing exhaustion weighing on every bone.

why cant she just shut up?

a hand grasps the lady's dress.

another braces itself against the railing.

and

you

pushed.

the headmistress fell like a tower of cards, a flash of terror washing over her face in a fraction of a second. there was barely a moment to let out an aborted scream before her skull crunched against the railing, and she plummeted limply to the ground, sprawling out against the tile floor.

a race of footsteps quickly approached, alerted by the noise.

you stared down blankly from the top, your shadow blocking any light from reaching the woman's face.

ms rosehearts was faced downward, so its not like anyone would see her expression as is, but a faint part in the back of your brain told them it wouldn't matter anyway.

voices sounded from a nearby hall, getting closer. some were familiar, but you couldn't tell what they were saying.

you kept your eyes on the body, even as red began to seep from its skull in a puddle, like a perverted halo.

staring, waiting. for something to happen? you didn't know. should you feel something here? you thought you should. maybe. maybe not. maybe if you kept looking at it, you would.

why doesn't it feel real yet?

somebody is climbing the stairs. approaching you? passing you? you can't tell. you don't really want to know, anyway. so you keep staring.

"--u."

"y-u. pl--s-."

"yu-, pl--s- t-l- -- w--t -a--en-d."

"y--, a--w-r -e. a-- y-- o-a-?"

...

"YUU!"

it was only reflex that made you look. someone was there, crouching down to you, staring you down with emotions you didn't feel like parsing out. were they scared? you thought they shouldn't be. nothing was wrong.

you look back down again.

she was still there? why was she still there?

... maybe she needs to sleep. is she tired?

you don't look at the person, they should agree with you. maybe while ms rosehearts is asleep you can have some peace.

that would be nice.

you pull her up by her arms, ignoring the red that drips down onto your uniform. its okay. it'll go away.

head wounds always look more severe than they usually are, right? thats what ms rosehearts taught you, anyway. she'll be fine.

she's just tired.

but she's not really that heavy, like you thought she would be. she's pretty light. she really should be heavier.

it doesn't take long before you bring her down on a bed.

and wait.

you wait a while.

maybe she's just really tired.

what if..

what if she won't wake up?

no, no... she has to. she has to wake up. you don't know what you would tell everyone if she didn't. riddle is your friend, you wouldn't do that to him.

she has to wake up.

"yu-, -le-se."

"she -s no- waki-g u-."

"-uu, lo-k at me. she is dead."

she is dead.

she's dead? you bring back your gaze to her body.

lifeless.

oh my god.

she is dead.

what do you do?

how. how are you going to explain this? nobody will believe you if you tell the truth.

.. it was an accident, right?

a soft grip holds your hands.

"listen to me. we can fix this. nobody will have to know."

SOMEONE's eyes glow in the darkness. it begs you to trust it. it says... that everything will be okay. all you have to do is follow its lead.

you don't have a choice, do you? this is the only way out. even if it's unspeakable. everything has to be okay.

you pick up the body, and carry it down the staircase. nobody is here, but you feel eyes on you anyway. you ignore it. she is light in your hands. this is a dream.

faintly, you hear the creak of an opening door. SOMEONE beckons you forward. a light breeze presses your face, and the evening light meets your eyes, but you ignore it. you need to wake up.

you lay down ms roseheart's body in the grass. you do not look at her, keeping your eyes on the trees. everything will be okay.

you think you see a figure pick something up from the ground. you aren't sure. you dig your nails into your palms, hoping for one last shock to bring you out of here, to leave this nightmare. nothing happens.

SOMEONE paces back and forth in the corner of your vision. you keep looking at the trees.

shuffling... dragging... creaking... and pulling... all these sounds come and go, yet you refuse to acknowledge them. something is happening. you don't know what. maybe you can wake up again.

a hand rests on your shoulder. gently, another guides your face back down. a voice tells you to look at them.

its... riddle. his eyes are so tired, and tears are making their way down his face. the grey of his eyes looks almost white.

it dawns on you. this is real. everything was real.

he leads you back into the building, hand on your back urging you forward. you look back and you see it.

it sways in the wind.

haggard and unkempt, ms rosehearts would have never allowed herself to look like this. but she isn't here. her body is a shell.

everything should be okay now. it's over, you did what you were told to do, so now everything should be okay. you feel like you should feel bad for thinking like this. yet still you feel at peace. this is it. everything is okay now.

(you're a murderer.)

riddle follows your gaze, and stops. his eyes are wide awake, frozen in terror. you follow his line of sight.

an eye meets yours. your body grows cold.

you shouldn't have looked.

-----

anyway that'd be so fucked up right??? (yes halfway through is basically a rewritten version of the truth photo transcripts, stfu). WOW this is long my apologies oof

like just imagine how ruined riddle would be. his friend accidentally fucking murdered his mom, dissociated for like 20 minutes- totally unaware of how exactly both their lives have fallen apart, mind you- and then he had to help cover up what yuu did by making it seem like a suicide because otherwise yuu wouldn't be able to live at the school anymore, with no way to defend themselves because they currently had no understanding of what they did or what happened in the last hour.

riddle is a basil kinnie and that is the worst thing that he has ever discovered about himself

Literally your timing with this could not have been more impeccable. Literally the day before this ask was submitted was when my brother started Omori. I have not played, I was only with him for the very start, only up to the part where they go to the picnic and can save. So I don't know what Basil did.

Anyway, I love dark/horror stuff like this. It's fascinating to think about the state of mind of the character. Like what could have been going through Riddles mind in that moment? The decision to help Yuu and not avenge his mother. Very telling of who in this au is more important to him.

Also ngl, I thought for a second the SOMEONE beckoning Yuu was going to be Crowley. Like he was going to pop out and this was his revenge on Mrs.Rosehearts for taking his job and so he can come back, and this would be yet another thing for him to dangle over Yuus head to get his way.

[getosboobies]

reasons i think matchablossom is or has been canon!

once again, i have become overly obsessive and have throughly analysed each and every kaoru & kojiro scene that we currently have. i indulged and created my own list of “ are they besties or are they banging or both “ but i have decided to share it all with you :))

( keep in mind, i’m a reacher and these are just my interpretations. i will go to any extent to prove myself correct - no matter how unlikely )

so first of all, we have the fact cherry is the only one we have yet to see at joe’s restaurant after hours. this immediately shows that they are extremely comfortable with each other and spend a lot of time together even when they’re not skating. it also potentially suggests cherry is waiting for joe to go home, maybe a habit they’ve developed over time. before these scenes, the producers always show an image of the restaurants front door which states closed. by showing this frame, it obviously gives the impression it’s important for us to know that it is closed and therefore showings us that joe and cherry’s relationship is more than just some rivalry banta and that they have an established friendship built on trust and time. the creators could have just not shown that it was closed and had us assume that’s they were just good friends who spent time together but they went a whole step further and showed us these two men’s personal lives are somewhat intertwined with one another, showing us that they don’t have large boundaries for each other which would be considered strange in contrast to the “ arguing “ we had previously seen between them. if this isn’t enough for you, in these scenes we also see joes uniform unbuttoned so i take this as even more evidence of how comfortable they are around each other. also ! restaurants tend to close quite late ( avg. 8pm-12pm ) and on all the shots of the closed door, it has been dark outside. why wouldn’t cherry be home at this time settling down or something??? or maybe cherry has a lot of love for joe if he’s willing to wait that long for him to finish work... just sayin’. more on this, i analysed the restaurants design and noticed that the plug in the wall is really low down to the ground. maybe this is just one of joes odd design techniques or maybe it was specifically placed for cherry to charge carla, the concept of which, makes me very happy

keeping on the point of joe’s restaurant, whenever we have seen cherry inside he always sits right in front of the kitchen, this is pretty normal unless you think about 1) how much time he spends there 2) how busy restaurants get 3) he came there while he was with a colleague. we’ve already seen that cherry doesn’t mind coming after hours so why did he come during the day if he knew joe would be busy? this is similar to the fact he came in with his colleague in episode 2 - he obviously wasn’t expecting to be able to talk with joe while he was out for a work meal, so why on earth would he sit right in front of where joe would be, which is situated in a considerably inconvenient table for work meal? what i’ve interpreted from this is that cherry’s must enjoy being in joes presence. cherry canonically having anxiety would explain why he likes being close to someone who he knows well, and that cares for him. being able to see and hear joe so close is perhaps very relaxing for cherry.

now when i watched sk8 for the first time, i gather the impression that joe was a forgive and forget kinda guy when it came to someone who did him wrong. when we’re introduced to adam it’s evident there is some hostility within joe but this does not nearly compare to the anger cherry showed. when suggesting a beef their intentions seem to be completely different. cherry outrightly admitting to his grudge and anger for adam whereas joe seems to just want to prove a point to adam by winning against him ( i mean look at the image above, their facial expressions show it all ). but i noticed that as cherry would speak about adam, joe’s intentions slowly shifted and became far more serious and full of anger. “ there’s someone i’d like to punch “ is a sentence said by joe in episode 8. this is quite different to what we had seen in earlier episodes of him just wanting to make a point. i think this shift was predominantly when joe found cherry at the ocean view. joe knew how cherry was feeling towards adam BEFORE this scene because he knew where to find him, but the realisation that cherry was standing there, alone, and reliving some of his saddest memories probably hit joe that cherry couldn’t do this alone. therefore stepped up his game and met cherry’s loathing so they could do it together. as far as things go, this is one of the most important things they have done for each other because it shows clearly how devoted they are to each other.

this is one of the most confusing lines in this show thus far. i’m sure it’ll make sense in the oncoming episodes but i have come to two conclusions. so either adam has created this false reality of what happened and has told himself his evil ways stemmed from joe and cherry or, the more likely in my opinion, adam always felt like he was in need of a partner, a rival but also someone to love. this is displayed in the show in his predatory ways, aka, he wants his own ‘eve’. now there’s no ruling whatsoever that a skater needs any sort of dedicated rival, or skate partner, so i believe adam probably got this want from his peers, for example, joe and cherry. adam seems to believe you need to love your ‘eve’ and it gives me the idea that maybe he saw joe and cherry -in love- and decided that was what he wanted, but then as we know he went about it in an extremely toxic way. the “was it so“ was really hard to interpret, he’s clearly quite smug by the way he shrugs and smiles and shows that he’s very confident about what he’s saying but the question is short and leaves a lot unknown, which suggests why cherry and joe don’t respond. either they are as confused as i am, or they have a slight idea what adam could be suggesting and they feel guilty. we all know cherry and joe aren’t bad hearted people but as adam is insinuating ‘no, you guys parted ways from me first’ it could suggest that joe and cherry had perhaps become closer in high school and had developed a stronger bond than they had with adam and this left adam feeling lost and alone. this is more of a canon compliant headcanon that would make sense rather than a fact but it’s certainly something to think about.

one of the most obvious factors in their relationship is how they always know what the other is thinking or planning. we’ve seen in recent episodes that when cherry was racing, joe knew exactly what his motive was even without discussing it, thats enough information to show how well they truly know each other and how connected they really are. it’s also shown with cherry. when joe is racing, and is going extremely fast towards the corner, we see a frame of miya and shadow being worried for him, but then it shifts to cherry watching and there’s not a spec of worry on his face because he KNOWS what joe is planning and knows he will be fine. they know each other’s techniques better than anyone and it shows they don’t doubt each other’s choices one bit.

we learn right from the beginning that cherry and joe like to argue and fight, at first we think this is because they dislike each other but we learn that they are best friends. so when watching back you notice that none of the insults are ever actually insulting. let’s think about it, the most common insults they use are gorilla, dimwit and four-eyes. now to me, none of these actually seem insulting whatsoever and even if they do like to argue a lot it’s obvious they never ever mean any harm to one another.

from analysing the scenes one of the things i’ve noticed the most is how cherry and joe turn up and leave together. when the cops came during the langa x adam skate they both started to run off together leaving everyone else behind. as we know, they spend a lot of their personal lives together but leaving and turning up together every single time we’ve see them there seems like they’re a bit more attached than i originally thought. there’s a chance they meet before hand but why always that late at night? why aren’t they ever at home alone? unless...they live together. i mean it’s a perfectly valid suspicion right now as we’ve never seen either of their homes and we’ve never seen either of them turn up anywhere alone but either way it confirms they spend an awful lot of time together in general life. going back to my original point of them not only turning up and leaving together but they also never leave each other’s sides. there’s a heap of frames that you can see them standing together watching a beef or even just them talking. they’re literally attached at the hip and nothing makes me happier.

the creators of the show have made countless points to show that joe and cherry have a lot of history. from the school references to the fact they have TRAVELLED THE WORLD TOGETHER. they could have just shown one or two so we know that as a general fact they’ve known each other a long time but they bring it up an awful lot for it to be just a general fact. this being shown so much let’s us know that this is important information and that they’ve obviously wanting to lay down a foundation to bring something crucial up. so far they have mentioned their social studies trip, a school excursion, joes love for haunted houses, holiday to La and the Paris bar they went to. now you might be thinking, oh they were in the same school they probably just went on a trip together nothing confirms they were close, well i am here to prove that statement false. joe said he found cherry’s wallet, this not only shows that joe was close to cherry when he lost it but also that he knew where to find it, showing how well he knew cherry. another point is that legal age to drink in Paris is 18 so unless they had fake ID it’s safe to say this is a trip they’ve done since becoming adults and leaving school. it’s also canon that have gone together, so the fact they’ve been travelling as adults together is quite interesting. same with the restaurant in LA, sounds kinda like a date.

over the course of the episodes we’ve seen so far there has been a few comments they have made to each other that suggest a little bit of jealousy. for cherry, these comments are made in episode 6 in the hot spring. cherry brings up joes love for haunted houses and then joe agrees and says it’s because “chicks get scared and grab onto me” * with a smirk *. now what’s interesting about this is cherry’s response. “you really are a scumbag” this insult feels a lot more insulting than usual and the response itself surprised me. at this moment cherry looks away from joe which is an action people tend to do when they’re hurt or pissed off. either works in this scenario but neither make much sense as we know cherry’s already aware of joes status with girls. so why was he mad? well this was obviously a fond memory of cherry’s and joe replying with a statement about girls probably made him a bit angry because that was supposed to be their memory. but joes smirk with the comment makes me rethink, did he state that on purpose to make cherry jealous? obviously we can’t be sure but the entire encounter left me a bit confused. now onto joes jealousy, in episode 2 dub joe says “dude, you’re talking to a machine?” now in context this seems like joe is partially bewildered by the fact cherry is casually talking to his AI skateboard but he also seems slightly jealous that cherry is talking to carla instead of talking to him. this is one of the only scenes where joes facial expressions actually seem insulted rather than just having a bit of fun. he follows this up with “figured you’d give your board a girls name seeing as you can’t get a real one!” why can’t he get a real one? we hear tonnes of girls screaming compliments at cherry when he turns up so he definitely could get a girlfriend if he wanted, and joe no doubt knows this too, so why would he use it as an insult? i’m not sure what to make of this but it’s got to be a factor somewhere.

more on the haunted mansion chit chat, the line about chicks grabbing onto joe is quite funny when you look at the entire scene, because as soon as they get jumped they grabbed onto each other in fear. seems a little ironic if i do say so myself.

they both seem very secluded about their personal lives. cherry more specifically does not like the use of his skate name in his personal life or vice versa. joe is the only one we have seen to be aware or use cherry’s real name. the way joe slips up and calls cherry ‘kaoru’ at “S” shows how close they are and how much time they spend together to be able to accidentally mix up the two parts of their lives. this is just an extra point on how conjoined their lives must really be. in the photo above we see how cherry easily calms joe down when he starts to get annoyed. joe is the only one who knows fully about cherry’s life as emotions and cherry is the same for joe.

now one of the most heart wrenching matcha blossom scenes is when joe finds cherry at the ocean view. i have a lot to say about this so let’s start at the beginning. first of all, joe noticed cherry was missing. it’s not like cherry was there for a massive amount of time, so joe noticing that cherry was gone for even as much as an hour or two really says a lot about the placement they have in each other’s lives. there was really no reason for joe to worry about where cherry was considering they’re grown adults but he continued to go out and find him anyways. this is also set in the late afternoon judging by the sky, whereas the previous scene had been set at night at “s”, so this is suggesting the ocean view scene is on a completely different normal day for them (another factor showing how much time they spend together). next, the fact joe knew exactly where to find cherry. this truly shows how much they know and how connected they are to each other but also how well they understand the others coping mechanisms. cherry was dwelling on memories from 7 years ago and yet joe still knew exactly what he was doing and what he was thinking about. plus cherry didn’t even seem surprised when joe turns up. but one thing i noticed is that in this scene is the way they (in this case, didn’t) hold eye contact. while cherry is faced away, joe is staring at him but as soon as cherry meets joes eyes, joe turns away. either joe didn’t want to be caught staring or joe realised something crucial in that moment. i’ll let your mind decide what that is.

obviously, miyas comment about joe and cherry being his parents is a light hearted joke just to ruin joes chances of flirting with girls but it also implies that the group can tell that joe and cherry are respectively closer than anyone originally thought and they perhaps have caught on that the tension between them is a little bit too gay to be just a bit of banta. obviously in this scene we then see joe looking at cherry’s legs while a blush clearly intensifies on his face. yeah no, this is self explanatory.

one of the things i like about joe and cherry’s relationship is the fact that within that joe also has a somewhat dynamic with carla. although carla is non-living, there has been several interactions between them. for example the beginning of episode 6 on the boat joe recognises carlas voice immediately. i mean straight off i think it’s suspicious as hell that they all happened to be going there at the same time but the fact joe realised cherry must be there because of the sound of an AI skateboard? that’s impressive. also, at the beginning of the series carla is aware of who joe is when calling joe an imbecile, this shows that cherry has obviously had this modified to specifically refer to joe as joe rather than just refer to him as a general person.

there was a popular tiktok i saw the other day (if anyone has the username of the person please tell me so i can credit them!!) and it showed the two images above. in these photos it shows joes skateboard and his odd looking wheels. the creator of this video further analysed that these reflect the general outlook of a cherry blossom flower. though the actual wheels in real life don’t look as similar to a flower as they do in the show. but now if this is what they’re meant to look like, this is a really sentimental fact and shows how highly joe thinks of cherry in his skating career. but what about his personal life? well that’s where my analysing comes in. i noticed in the dessert joe makes in episode 5 he had a range of fruits displayed on the top as well as a single flower. this flower looks identical to a cherry blossom. once again the reflection of cherry within joes life makes an appearance. we’ve seen that flowers actually mean something in this show (toxic example but adam’s red roses for langa) so it would make sense for this to actually mean something about their relationship. i studied a range of Japanese desserts and, although every chef works differently, most of the dishes tend to only have a display of fruits and no flowers. so i have come to the conclusion that this dish certainly had some symbolism to cherry in joes life, some way or another.

so overall, their dynamic already shows that they have a very thin and mistakable line between very close best friends and potential lovers. although some of this was based off personal interpretation the majority is cinematic displays and general facts. so take this and use it however you like. let me know your opinions and other factors you have! for all i know i could be completely disproven with the next few episodes but surely if this many people see a bit more than just a friendship there’s got to be a reason for it.

if we can have one lgbt+ character... why not two more?

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[thequeenb]

Come Back

This is part 3 of the series because its highly requested. Part 1 and 2 are here for you to read.

I watched Poppy get out of the limo gracefully as she has always been. She was perfect in every way, people here aren't used to this type of women. From head to toe she was beautiful, from the way her hair fell to her shoulders to the way she was standing, eyes looking at me intently.

Everyone was stunned but i am not surprised. Charlie gasps as she takes my hand in hers tagging me away from the crowd. My eyes are lost in hers, just like every movie everything stops. My heart is pounding but I can't quite know how i feel. As Charlie pushes me away from her i can see the disappointment all over her perfect features

Why she follow me? Why is she here? How did she know i was here? And most importantly what do i do now? Before my mind start overthink Charlie looks at me worried

"I am sorry this is all my fault i thought it was a celebrity i didn't knew it was your ex"

Right my ex. Is this the right word? I cant quite tell to be honest. We have been through so much that we didn't had time to label our relationship nor we had to. I felt anger when the painful pictures came back in my mind. If our relationship meant even a little bit to her why would she let us fall apart?

I frown and Charlie hugs me tight without another word. She always knew what to do and how to read my eyes. Her hand draws small circles on my back and i take a deep breath

"This wasn't your fault. I am surprised she even knows where Farmsvile is" my bitter chuckle fills the air "i always wanted to take her here, show her the real world without any masks covering our every decision"

Charlie listens to me like always. I miss Zoe though, she is as supportive as her but she always knew the New York world better than Charlie

"Why do you think she is trying to find you?"

I bite my lip in thought wanting the answer to this question but for now its unknown

"Well i blocked her number..her instagram, her Twitter account, her Facebook account her-"

"Woah there" Charlie says laughing "you are such a drama queen no wonder the big city treats you well"

"I wish it did, so many things changed so fast. The way i dress, the way i think, the way i make decisions, everything" i hide my face in my hands unable to get a hold of my emotions

"Well you better make a fast decision because miss Barbie is coming our way right now" i quickly fix my hair and wipe my tears not wanting Poppy to see how hurt i am

She approaches carefully and so sure of herself but knowing her i sense the hesitation in her expression.

"Could we have some privacy?" Poppy asks and Charlie gives me the "should i kill this bitch" look. I nod reassuring her its fine

"If you hurt her more i will throw you to the pigs" Charlie says giving Poppy a sharp look before walking away

Poppy mutters something under her breath, probably something like 'gross' or 'ew'. She is hesitant to sit next to me but I don't mind it. Taking a deep breath i try to not cry

"Look Bea, i won't waste your time because you already hate me but everything you saw has a story behind them" her expression changes, i am sure she replay the events and honestly so do i. The difference between us is that she feels sadness and i am blinded by rage

"Oh i am sure it does. I will make a guess and say that you used me all this time and i was just a puppet in your stupid game" i stand up unable to be close to her

"Oh please what would i gain from you? Being with a farmer girl isn't exactly appealing to any advantage" she stands up too, her eyes a wild fire ready to spread

A farmer girl..not appealing. Bravo Poppy, break my heart a little bit more

"Wow really? Last time i checked a farmer girl made you feel loved, a farmer girl took you to nice places and a farmer girl held you while you complained about your family!!" I raise my voice even though i have all the right reasons, still i can see how surprised she is by it

"I could have anyone i want if i snap my fingers but i tried to protect you i never wanted Carter-"

"Oh really?? The what the fuck is this pic Poppy?" I shove my phone in her face and i can see clearly her anger building in

"You don't understand, i am stupid i even came to this disgusting place to find you" she grabs her bag fixing her hair trying to make a dramatic exit

"Oh seriously? Well i am sorry this doesn't meet your standards i am sure you enjoy the city where nobody gives a shit about you or use you for your name" i grab my bag too and this time i walk away without looking back

Suddenly i stop my tracks but i don't turn around to face her "And to think i wanted to show you where i grew up" thats all i say before my tears fell from my eyes. I change my pace going faster in hope she would chase me but she doesn't.

The fresh air hits my face and i feel safe knowing nobody will judge me here. Walking a little further i finally arrive home where a familiar smell greets me. My mother is making my favourite food, father is feeding the chickens and Charlie waits for me on the porch

I put a fake smile on my face as i approach "well that went better than i thought" sarcasm was always my way to cope with my emotions

"You will share the details later right now we should eat the stew while its hot come on!" Charlie leads me inside the house and it feels good to be surrounded by welcoming faces

The day passes fast and i jump in my bed. I am so exhausted, who knew dealing with my emotions would be so tiring. Before i close my eyes i check my phone in hope Zoe texted me but i know she is busy. I close my eyes hoping the pain will stop and the new day will start better.

The sun hits my face and i groan in annoyance when i hear a knock at my door.

"Sweetheart should i come in?" My mother comes inside my room and i sit up trying to understand why she woke me up at..8:00 in the morning?? Ugh a girl cant get her beauty sleep

She sits beside me cupping my face in her hands. I missed her touch, she always made me feel better about myself and my problems no matter how sad i was feeling

"You have visitors outside waiting for you but i was adviced to not let you look through the window" my mother chuckles "now get ready they waited long enough"

I smile putting all my energy into getting out of my warm bed "fine fine only because i know Charlie will want to do something crazy"

I get dressed and run downstairs. I open the door only to be greeted by Charlie and.. Poppy??

"Goodmorning Princess i am sorry to wake you up so early but we have cows to milk" Charlie winks at me but my attention falls to Poppy who's wearing a simple T shirt and..boots? What is happening?

"Don't look at this city snob like that it took me 1 hour to convince her to wear these"

Poppy rolls her eyes but i laugh, its a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her this way, ah how i would love to take a picture and post it everywhere

"Show me your world" Poppy says giving me a small smile and for the first time i can see all the effort she put for me. I mean the outfit says it all, and the one and only Min SinClair will do farm work? Now thats some change

"I chuckle walking towards the farm "Well then show me how sorry you are" i say throwing a bucket at Poppy who looks at it in disgust

"I swear Hudges if you-" but Charlie push her in time and honestly this is the best sight ever. Poppy pouts but bites her tongue

"Lets go city girl show me what you got" Charlie and i laugh and surprisingly Poppy joins as she hides her face on my shoulder

"I missed you" she whispers only for me to hear and i smile letting my bad thoughts on the side for once seeing where this will take me. I hold her closer as we walk into the sunrise ready to share a piece of myself with her.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr  @wolfietheduckyou @somin-yin

[writhingcreature]

I LOVE the idea of jock/nerd Mericcup and cheerleader/jock Rapunstrid, do you have any more headcanons for that au?

I tried writing this and got distracted and now O have to start from the beginning so... let’s try this again

- Hiccup keeps trying to ask Merida out but his awkwardness and self Doubt keep tying his tongue and hands and feet and he fails again and again. Merida knows what he’s trying to say but she wants to give him the chance to do it since she knows it might hurt his pride if she asks him. Eventually she does anyway though and Hiccup is so relieved he’s been put out of his misery he kisses her right then and there and everyone’s like OoO

- Hiccup and Astrid are neighbors and they grew up right next door to each other. Like, saw each other through the window and climbed onto each other’s roofs and such. They did that thing where they opened their windows and just... talked if they were too lazy to climb up onto the roof. So they’re like actually really close friends. As kids Astrid always found Hiccup annoying and it was like “your mom is friend with my mom” but eventually he started tutoring her and she thought she was doing fine at school but suddenly she was acing everything and it all made sense and after that she thought Hiccup was cool

- Merida and Rapunzel live quite a bit from each other but Merida skateboards and Rapunzel goes on morning bike rides and walks and jogs and skates (on rollerblades) and really ANYTHING that gets her out in the morning. They end up meeting when Merida falls off her skateboard and busting her knee - Rapunzel took care of it with the med kit she always takes with her everywhere. After that they were best friends and upon hitting middle school, joined sports together to figure out what they liked. Rapunzel was good at cheerleading, being very petite and acrobatic, and Merida was better at the classic sports (soccer, hockey, baseball, football, etc.). They do figure skating together. When Merida had to fight to be on the guys’ team, or just. Create a girls’ sports team, Rapunzel was there to support her every step of the way.

- Astrid and Merida are on a team together. Astrid does either hockey or soccer (or maybe both Idk which seasons they are but it feels like they’d be in different ones) but eventually Merida talks her into joining every one that Merida is in too. They get each other SO much and eventually develop like a secret language. No one knows if that’s true for sure, but these two girls can communicate without moving their body or saying a single word and it’s so effortless and perfect a system that people thought they were dating for the longest time. When someone finally brought it up (it was Snotlout) the two laughed so hard and so long that he blushed, and they NEVER let him live it down. It was just so absurd to them....

- Astrid and Rapunzel actually happened pretty fast. Everyone thought Astrid would take charge, and normally she does. She’s confident and sure of herself and has fingers in SO many pies, and she doesn’t ever shrink from any competition. Everything seems very easy for her and she never falters off fumbles... that is until she tries to talk to Rapunzel. Because Astrid can affectionately bulky Hiccup and Merida already gets her so well that she doesn’t have to try to communicate with her. But Rapunzel is... her opposite in a lot of ways. She’s small and soft spoken and artistic. Her mind is creative and her hands are gentle and her eyes are huge and her smile is warm. Rapunzel is this golden stream in a fairytale and Astrid is.... probably a rock. Of some kind. Anyway, the point is Rapunzel approaches her with that pretty smile and those large eyes and very clearly asks her out and Astrid’s lucky that Merida’s there to say yes for her because her mouth forgets how to move

- Rapunzel cheers SO LOUD for Astrid every game, and they start to sit on the bench together if there’s any free time. During the half time show, Astrid cheers just as loud for Rapunzel and the phrase “THATS MY GIRLFRIEND” gets thrown around a. Lot. They get super competitive all the time and end up having so much fun. Rapunzel is a bit of a softie and let Astrid win a lot in the beginning until Astrid called her out and called her a loser (affectionate) and from then it was ON. No one thought anyone could beat Astrid at anything until Rapunzel came around.

- Hiccup tries to follow what’s happening in the games but he often gets really distracted and confused and ends up analyzing the plays and bombarding everyone with questions afterward. Astrid and Merida eventually directed him to Rapunzel, who actually listened to him and realized how genius his ideas and observations were. They started to talk with the coach about ways to make the team better, and Hiccup eventually starts to just. Help the coaches in general and no one even asks anymore.

- Hiccup has a cat named Toothless and he and Rapunzel are the BEST of friends. Astrid didn’t like him at first but softened upon seeing Rapunzel and Hiccup be so adorable with the little creature. Toothless HATED Merida for the longest time no matter what she tried and it made everyone laugh constantly. Eventually the little thing warmed up to her but for a while there Merida stayed by Astrid “where it’s safe” as she said.

- Rapunzel also has a pet chameleon and she DOTES on that thing. She knows everything about them and anytime anyone asks about Pascal she just wants and rants and rants about fun facts. It’s the only time Astrid will without complaint Listen to someone just talk facts and knowledge. Astrid usually finds it so boring but Rapunzel is so adorable when she goes off about this thing she’s so passionate about that Astrid doesn’t even mind.

- After watching Hiccup with Toothless for a while, Astrid gets her own cat named Stormfly and they are a DYNAMIC duo. Stormfly is almost as well trained as Toothless a lot sooner, and they just have this very clear understanding. Stormfly doesn’t hate Merida, so the red head prefers this cat, and Toothless often glares at her for hours for it. Rapunzel and Stormfly take to each other even faster than Rapunzel and Toothless did. Rapunzel smells like Astrid and Stormfly is HERE for it

- Rapunzel and Merida take riding lessons on the weekends. It was something they looked into when they were really young and when they finally convinced their parents to let them it was the single best thing to ever happen to either of them. Riding Maxmimus and Angus are the best parts of their week in most cases (unless something special happens) and the horses are considered as much their pets as the cats or chameleon. They end up buying them after they get out of college and securing a house for all four of them with a big enough back yard to keep the horses in. It’s a good time.

- Hiccup works as a mechanic, fixing mostly cars but also small stuff like bikes and the such in his free time. Toothless came to him missing a leg, so Hiccup comes up with a lot of really clever contraptions and systems to help Toothless move around the house without Hiccup’s help. He still prefers to be lifted into bed, but anywhere else is free game.

- Rapunzel gets a job at first at a diner, where she spends her highschool and college career working her butt off. It wasn’t the best experience but it achieved the goals Rapunzel needed to so she could go to college and become an art teacher instead. It wasn’t the best paying job, but it allowed her to show others why she valued painting so much, and left plenty time in the year to also go traveling if she wished. She’s very good at saving money so she makes it work.

- Astrid works a lot of fast food at first and even takes a stint at the diner with Rapunzel, but her short temper ends up getting her into a lot of situations where she hates her job and ends up leaving after six to eight months. Nowhere was very good for her until she finally got a job at a gym where she ended up learning a lot of really fun skills like self defense and axe throwing. She did it for so many years and got so good that she was hired on as the instructor, and she’s never been happier than in a position where if a man pushes the limits or a Karen tries her patience, all she has to do is sink an axe into a target and turn to them with a raised eyebrow and ask, “What was that again?” It works every time and unless someone has an actual problem they don’t bother her.

- Merida struggles with work. She gets every job under the sun, taking stints at the diner with Rapunzel and the mechanic’s shop with Hiccup and even eventually at the gym and fun enter with Astrid. She gets bored very easily and doesn’t keep a job more than like four or fives months at Max. Ever. She doesn’t think she’s good at anything and might have peaked in high school... until she discovers archery. In an attempt to help her out, Astrid pitches to the fun center to add archery as an activity, and Merida begins to come to it. Unfortunately they can’t really find a teacher who knows what they’re doing and Merida is the only one who shows up so for a while it’s threatening to shut down. But then Merida teaches herself via the internet and insane amounts of practice, and tries out for the job. They give her the position, but tell her that without customers it’s still going to go down.

- the four gather ALL of their friends and begin mass sharing any and all information they can get out there about the fun center and Merida’s growing skills and how helpful she’ll be as the teacher. They just spread the news and encourage people to at least try it out. Through sheer force of Will and hard work, they get enough people with interests peaked who end up coming. Merida’s classes are full of all kinds of people of all kinds of ages, and she loves it.

- none of them get paid a LOT, but Rapunzel and Hiccup are very good at saving money and slowly, Astrid learns as well and between the three of them they can get things figured out even if Merida doesn’t want to waste energy on budgeting and planning everything out and such. When the fun center is out for winter time, and school is out for Summer, they start taking temporary jobs that pay a lot more money. These jobs end up being labor intensive, but they always try and work together and combined, they can find the fun in even the most annoying jobs. Sometimes Hiccup will join them if he’s having a slow time at work, but he never lasts long and the girls tease him a lot about it.

- Yes the hall live together and yes they have “family nights” where they all go out and do something fun once every month, and they eat dinner and breakfast together as much as they can and they’re all very close and mean a lot to each other god I love them.

There are obviously a ton of other characters in this little world I’ve built so if you have any questions feel free to ask!

[wooahaes]

😵‍💫 i didnt think i would get it on the first try, i had different combinations of names it could have been till i was just like “hmm lets go simple and pick vernon and see what happens”

anyways i guess i would ask his favorite quality about mouse , why he’s so attracted to them in the first place and like how that kinda sparked his little obsessive moment. (if thats okay?) if not probably just the spoiler abt the type of date he goes on with mouse hehe

omg thats fair sdkfhsdf my two hints being his relation to jihoon (jihoon practically adoring the dude lmao) + joshua being "warm" (vernon being from/born in new york) were all i could really say since unit would have given it away + being in the younger half would have given him away sdkfhsdf

im gonna answer this mostly in terms of the poly fic (+ mention the date he takes mouse on since it's same for both his own part and the poly fic), but the feelings do overlap some!

i feel like i can fairly say that like... the maknaes all feel a kinship with mouse already because they're still fairly new. maybe seungkwan a little less than hansol and chan, but they're all still relatively new to that life. in relation to that, i think hansol probably admires how adaptive mouse is? he knows its hard to get thrown into a large group of people and decide to stay because it feels safer than going back into the world, yet they seem to be adjusting just fine.

maybe in particular seeing the way they started opening up was something he really admired. things like giving jihoon space despite clearly wanting to get closer, helping out mingyu + jun with preparing dinner, indulging seokmin + soonyoung with their card game, and even cuddling with soonyoung and seungkwan while still making sure that chan felt included. they clearly care for others despite this still being a new situation for them, and i feel like hansol would probably value that a lot. he already has a lot of love for this group, as does everyone, but it means a lot to him that mouse is trying to be warm and loving in return while also working to repay the kindness they all extended to them.

idk if that makes sense but!! ultimately: i think he loves the way they genuinely seem to be someone who cares and wants to do good despite coping with the struggle of not remembering themself. i think thats true of all of them, to be honest.

as for the date: they go stargazing. there's a spot out in the fields that he discovered is perfect (there's a lot of perfect spots, but he favors that one the most) because its out of the way enough that he can escape for a few hours.

i don't see him ever being obsessive over mouse (maybe intrigued?), and i'll say that the whole "i don't want to share you right now" line comes from just wanting to have a little alone time with them. i don't think it's a spoiler to say that chan is very doting towards mouse (because he def feels a kinship since they're both extremely new to all of this) and so are some of the others. hansol just wants a chance to sit with them alone without worrying about anyone else occupying their time. it's his turn to woo you, y'know?