#cleaning some drafts dont mind me

[redtsundere-writes]

Price's beard is famous around base—a rugged, full, and commanding presence that spoke to both discipline and masculinity. That type of beard that's hard to grow and maintain. And there's his hair. An immaculately cut, effortlessly styled, and somehow looking even better every time he comes back for a mission. Soldiers always pester him to tell them who his barber is, but he always gatekeeps it. He never cracks. It's his best well-kept secret.

After months of deployment, his beard needed a refresh. He knocked on his neighbor's door, a cute hairstylist that does her family and friend's hair on her free time. You opened the door with a huge smile to see Price was back home safe and sound.

“The usual?�� You asked, pulling a chair from the kitchen for him to sit in. It was part of the routine. A warm hug after months of not seeing each other, letting him in your house, offer him something to drink, and putting his favorite tunes on the speaker.

“You know it. Just work your magic.” Price trusted you completely, almost blindly. You had been his barber for years now. “How's the family?”

“Pretty good, captain. My lil sister is getting married next week. I'll be doing her hair, such a huge honor.” You placed the cape around his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent with notes of amber and musk.

“That's wonderful news. You better send my congrats.”

“Will do, captain.”

You prepared your tools—your shears, straight blade, a new leather strap you bought recently. You really like when Price came by, it was the perfect opportunity to use your barber kit and practice with a handsome model. “The usual” was simple. Price was meticulous about his grooming, already keeping his hair in check with the products you’d recommended. It was just cutting the top of his hair, cleaning the edges of his beard and carve out sharp lines that framed that unmistakably strong jaw.

But it wasn’t just the cut that brought him back, he liked the nice chats and to admire how you worked. He loved the way you worked—slow, steady, deliberate. The way your tongue peeked out to focus on the details. The gentle press of your soft fingertips as you tilted his head. Unlike other barbers, you never asked any questions about his work, he didn't like to think about that on his free time. When he sat in your chair, the world outside didn’t exist. It was just the sound of the scissors, the warmth of your presence, and a fleeting sense of home.

“And this dickhead even has the nerve to ask: 'Are we fucking or are we splitting the check?' Like, what the hell?!” You were telling him how your last blind date ended as you cut the sides of his hair, making sure it didn't touch his ears because the tickles bothered him.

“What a fucking pillock!” Price gasped angry.

“That's what I said!” You huffed. “Who is raising these boys? I swear to god, my 8-year-old nephew is more a man than that bastard.”

“I always wondered why are you single, I think I have my answer now,” Price said.

“Look, I may be single, but I ain't desperate. I won't settle for anything less than a gentleman.” You scoffed as you finished the touch ups. “We are all done, handsome.”

You gave Price a mirror. He moved his head around to admire the details of your wonderful, usual, job. He felt like a new, clean man. You looked at him with a bright smile, satisfied with your job.

“I am telling ya, you were born for this,” Price said as you unbuttoned the cape.

“Aw, thanks, captain. You are always so sweet.” You blushed.

“How much do I owe you, luv?” Price pulled up his wallet.

“Oh, c'mon. You know it's always from the house.” You pushed the wallet from your sight, making him to put it back in his pocket.

“You can't be giving away your talent for free,” Price smiled. He liked the attention, but he didn't want to abuse of your kindness. “At least let me tip you.”

“Please, captain. I insist.” You looked at him straight to the eye. Your heart skipped a beat when he looked back at you with those dreamy eyes of him. He finally smiled in defeat.

“Fine, fine.” Price sighed, putting the wallet back in his pocket. “What about I take you out to dinner?”

“Captain, that's not necessary…” You chuckled.

“Not as payment,” Price interrupted you. “As a date. I can give you the real gentleman you want.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, catching you completely off guard. You hadn’t expected that—hadn’t expected him to be so direct, so effortlessly charming. Price took your hand and kissed your knuckles softly, his beard tickling your skin lightly.

You met his gaze, your smile breaking through before you could even think to suppress it. How could you say no? The most handsome client to ever sit in your chair had just asked you out—and you accepted without hesitation.

Masterlist.

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[creamyavocadosoup]

𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐢 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫?

a/n: hi everyone!! thank you so much for 1k likes across my works! i was in actual disbelief when i got that notif. i thank you all so much for the love. i dont rly do celebration posts and such but i still thank you all sm for it ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) i haven't had much chance to write this piece so its been sitting in the drafts for a little bit but!! i have a break coming up so im hoping to do some writing then. also this is not proofread so forgive me.

characters: rtte!hiccup x fem!reader

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, unrequited (?) pining, hiccup being angy, mentions of not eating and getting hurt, almost fainting, implied almost death (astrid), near death experience, fighting, blood (got wounded)

here's part 2: take a chance with me

The salty breeze wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, sounds of the waves crashing on the shore almost lulling me to sleep after such a long couple of days. Had it not been for the sweat rolling off me, or the ache in each movement, I would have no doubt fallen asleep.

"She almost died, [Name]!" his voice boomed, his gaze so piercing it had me pinned frozen in the clubhouse across from him.

"We had a plan and you didn't stick to it. Gods knows what would have happened if the rest of the team hadn't been there to clean up your mess," he looked at me, the disappointment so apparent in his eyes it burned through the protective barrier around my heart, "And now they got away with the Dragon Eye!" his hands banged on the table, the loud noise nearly scaring me half to death and causing me to jump in my spot.

Astrid almost died. Because of me.

My throat ached, feeling like it loathed with the body it was in, rejecting this emotion that coursed through my body so intensely. My eyes burned, so terribly that I had nearly convinced myself they were acid, all in an attempt to swallow down the emotions and hope to tuck them in a corner of my mind somewhere, never to be seen or felt again.

"Maybe I was a fool to think you were ready for this." he muttered under his breath, but I heard it so clearly and the rest of the riders did too.

The said blonde laid a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, silently asking him to take a breather and calm for a moment, but he only shook it off, the irritation still clearly running hot in his veins. He stormed off, hurriedly flying away with Toothless, not a single glance back at me.

Astrid only sighed, silently approaching me, and the rest of the gang stood motionless on the other side of the room. Even the twins were uncharacteristically quiet, which had unnerved me more than I had let on. She rubbed my shoulders, allowing me words of comfort but I hadn't heard any of it despite looking right at her.

I mumbled a few words before scurrying off, making a beeline for my hut and hoping to shroud myself in the four walls and indulge in isolation. I thanked Thor for a moment due to my hut being farther than the main base, giving me ample privacy.

My emotions had only caused me to hit the targets harder, to push myself further, until I was sure something like this wouldn't happen again. What if Hiccup was right?

My winged companion whined worriedly beside me but I was too far past the point of comprehension to even realize that I was littered in tiny cuts and bruises, and my limbs had ached for a while now. But I ignored it, not even close to being content with my progress in training.

I laid in my bed, nearly motionless for the past 24 hours. Not even the sound of multiple knocks and quips from the different riders, nor my stomach growling had given me any energy to move. All my windows had been shut, allowing little to no sunlight into the room. The darkness had allowed for me to continuously slip in and out of slumber, the time passing faster than I thought it was due to it.

By the third day, I had resorted to aggressively cleaning every inch of my house, not wanting to drown in the thoughts and providing myself with a distraction. I still hadn't opened the door but had at least opened a few windows to let in some light.

Hiccup coming to knock on my door almost had me stopping in my tracks, but I chose to tune him out, not wanting to deal with that whole situation at the moment. I needed time to process the emotions and think clearly and rationally before I could face him again. I needed to improve and be sure there's been a significant improvement before he can see me again.

It took me four days, four whole days, to allow the simmering emotions to bubble over and explode to whatever mess I had become now. On a random beach at another island, training like my life depended on it with virtually no one but my dragon as my witness, and it was comforting to say the least.

The guilt from Hiccup's words had hit me like a truck, the possible outcomes of my choices in the heat of the moment and how it had almost cost one of my closest friends' lives. It made frustration build up inside me with each missed blow, each kick, each strike.

I had gotten so absorbed in my own emotions that I didn't hear or even notice the multiple footsteps of unwanted guests on the same beach. All I heard was the violent roar of my dragon and I turned around to see one of the Dragon Hunters on the ground.

I readily hurried my stance, thanking the Gods I was already holding one of my weapons, and cursed to myself. 'Fuck how did they manage to sneak up on me? Was I really that distracted?'

My vision flit between the hunters as they slowly and carefully stepped towards me, their weapons glinting under the sun. I knew I was at a disadvantage, my bruised and battered body would not be able to out-fight all of them. So I have to be smart, and figure out a way to get out unscathed.

It was quiet as we only stared at each other. This was odd, I thought, why aren't they attacking? Before I could ask questions, a familiar voice caught my attention as he walked up from the ship and onto shore.

"Ryker." I spat. Gripping my weapon tightly, I glared at the man in front of me.

"Quite good timing that I catch you here alone, hm?" He smirked, crossing his arms as he looked down at me, "Take her and her dragon." He ordered, the men around him charging at me at once from all different directions.

Over my dead body, I thought, no way are they taking my dragon! "[D/N] let's go!" The sound of metals clashing and explosions were all I heard as I parried all oncoming attacks my way as best I could and so did my dragon.

Heavy breathing and heavy limbs were all I felt as I slowed and struggled to keep up with my enemies. In a moment of weakness, I felt a blade slash through my side. Warm blood quickly trickled down my hip as I screamed out in pain.

A loud roar was all I heard before seeing a big explosion and my enemies knocked unconscious onto the floor. My dragon wasted no time and hurriedly picked me up before flying away to return to the edge, narrowly missing the arrows being shot our way.

I breathed heavily, clutching my side with one hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding, and my other holding onto my dragon so I don't fall into the ocean. The ride had felt extremely long and I could feel myself slipping from reality as more blood poured from the wound.

Blearily, I looked around my surroundings as I felt myself being placed softly onto what smelt like grass. I barely recognized my hut in the near distance and the garden I was growing beside it as my dragon hurriedly grabbed medical supplies.

Thankfully he already knew which ones to grab from seeing me patch up the other riders over and over again, and brought over gauzes and pastes. I huffed and groaned, trying and dragged to prop myself on a nearby tree to properly dress my wound.

"[D/N], get me water... water please." I was feeling exhausted but I knew subconsciously that I couldn't fall asleep now, or it would create even more difficult consequences.

My winged friend quickly grabs and brings over a pail of water to me. Taking off my armor and lifting my shirt, which was already slashed through anyways, I assessed my wound and figured it hadn't gone deep enough to rupture any organs or I would have much worse symptoms.

While cleaning my wound, a soft thumping and pairs of footsteps sounded before they spoke. "[Name]? Where are you? What happened?"

I didn't speak, focusing on stitching myself up and not crying. [D/N] however quickly beckoned them over and they quickened their paces, soon surrounding me with their bodies. The riders were shocked upon seeing my state and Hiccup had briskly told all of them to turn away from me.

Familiar warm hands were placed on my arms, "[Name]," Hiccup spoke softly. My vision blurred and my throat tightened, making it harder to stop the tears from falling, "Let me help you with that. Please." His voice was small yet firm, a hint of pleading lying underneath. Yet it was still caring, and warm, and it filled the cracking crevices in my resolve as I pulled away to let him work.

"Astrid, refill the bucket. Fishlegs, grab me more gauze and paste. And get some of the stuff Gothi gave us." The two nodded, ambling away quietly as Hiccup diligently worked on my wound. "Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snotlout, grab one of her shirts and get her hut prepared." Surprisingly, there wasn't any complaints or jokes from the trio, only diligent nods and they went straight to work. Thus the only sound between us was the soft rustling of the trees in the wind, and my voice hissing at the pain of being stitched up.

"It was-" I gulped, trying to swallow down the burning feeling, "It was Ryker." Hiccup's hands stopped only for a moment and stayed quiet, so I took it as a sign to continue.

"He-He ambushed me. While I was on another island, training." I added, however the pain had teetered into being unbearable causing a whimper to escape my throat.

Luckily Hiccup had finished with the needle and moved onto wrapping it, an ever-present ache there but it was much better than the searing pain I had felt moments ago. Hiccup reached beside me and covered my chest with my torn shirt.

"I'm sorry."

I slowly blinked my eyes as I raised my head to take a good look at his face. His hair was disheveled, more than usual, and his under-eyes slightly darker. He had this seemingly perpetual small furrow in between his brows.

But his eyes were still that beautiful green that I had fallen in love with at first sight. One could argue that his slightly bloodshot eyes complimented the green but I couldn't feel much happiness knowing it was because he was losing sleep over me.

His voice was quiet, dripping with sorrow and regret and it had me pursing my lips, my heart feeling tight.

"I'm sorry I said those things. They were out of anger but they don't excuse how it had hurt you." he continued, his pinky carefully linking with mine. He was testing the waters, afraid I would push him away once more but to be honest, I was too tired to even formulate a response.

"Hiccup..." I whispered, softly curling my finger around his. He looked into my eyes, hesitant to hear what I would say.

"I'm tired." I breathed out. My eyes blinked often, already on the verge to dreamland. He nods wordlessly, picking me up with barely any effort it seems, and bringing me inside my hut. Thankfully it seems like the twins and Snotlout have already finished with cleaning up my place.

Hiccup helped me into the shirt they picked before tucking me into my bed. His hands were comforting, brushing away loose hairs from my face. But it was fleeting, much like most of his touches towards me. Like it burned him, or he was disgusted by it.

He makes sure I'm settled well but before he could get comfy on the edge of the bed beside me, Astrid's voice is heard through the door. "Hiccup?" she calls, and his head quickly whips to the direction of her.

A small frown creeps up onto my face yet thankfully Hiccup only thinks of it as caused by my injury when he turns back to look at me. He smiles, a little unsure and an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes, as he reaches out to tuck a stray hairs away from my face.

"Sleep well. I'll be right here." he murmured. I only heard the soft sound of wood creaking and warm, green eyes before falling asleep.

note: guys,,, i've been gone so long?? literally ive been so busy T-T also got friendzoned before the summer so that was great. ANYWAYS!! if u liked this, i would so love to hear ur thoughts. and!! there may or may not be a part two to this too hehe

[amsgrey]

I judt found this draft/idea thing in my drafts from over two years ago (written before Little Sister Hugs) and i genuinely cracked up so much rereading it bc it would be really funny.

would anyone be interested in this?

Jay and hailey are busy with a case involving drug trafficking with military dudes or smth

you and will go out for dinner bc you get like n A+ in science or some shit and Will is all proud older brother

you get a call from Jay that the case is ramping up so he wont be home tonight and then ur like lit ill stay at wills i just gotta grab some stuff

you and will walk in and the house is like a mess and your like uh wtf

and will is like ok let me call jay or the cops or whatever

before he can he gets like smacked from behind like all those stupid movies

ur like o shit what the actual fuck

these big old dudes are in all black and holding like riffles bc intimidating and ur like :o

and ur standing in the kitchen so you do that really funny grab for the closest weapon and its like a pan that was waiting to dry or something entirely useless

theyre like yeah ok sure put it down u dimwit

u like stand over will being like feck off my brothers a cop

theyre like ha lol yeah we know we tryna find him where he at

ur like ha what i dont know? wouldn't have a clue

and theyre like ok then u come with us and ur like uh no sir

omg what if they chloroformed them that would be the funniest trope ever

jay is like workin the case being all undercover n shit and then he gets a call and its wills phone and hes like oh what did y/n do

will is like silent

jay is like yo whats up u alg

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO SAY WHERE THEY JUST SEND LIKE A SUPER FUCKING ANGSTY SHIT QUALITY VIDEO OF THEM LIKE BEATING WILL WHICH IS SUPER FUCKING NOT FUNNY BUT IS FUNNY TO IMAGINE THE UNO REVERSE FOR JAY

Jay immediately looses his mind and tries calling u like wheres will tf

obvi u dont answer and hes like this aint right

the team go to jays house and its all like torn apart but nothign like bad?

they call in the lab and the labs were like oh hey there's blood but they cleaned it? or smth

jay is spiralling and then they get anoter video of u? idk something else angsty

theyre like release our dude and give us back all the idk like guns and shit and voight is like ok well no way they let us do that

jay almost going cowboy cop

everyones like well this is great

you are like locked up by zipties bc criminals are stupid and you manage to like breakfree like a real mvp

u like find a gun or smth bc thats fun and free will

your all like well theres enough warehouses n creepy buildings in chicago for u to be anywhere so tf where we at

wills all leave me bc thats a funny trope and ur like shut the fuck up u dumbass

some military dude comes round the corner with his gun and sees u tryna walk with dead weight will and hes like? what are-

you shoot him bc badass bitch

he like fall down is all bloody and ur like o shit i just killed a man

will is like ya we gotta go ok like this shit serious fam

you walk around a corner and they all be sitting around in the big room and u and will are like oh hi guys

they all like point guns and ur like ah man we dead

but then!! intellegence is all out ur guns on the ground now! police things!

one of them like aims his gun but someone shoots his gUN bc i think thats the badassest thing ever and then he like has a bleeding hand and grabs u and knife to the throat thing bc trope central over here

no one has a clean shot so they all like omg dude let her go

do u get like seriously hurt? lowkey imagine like them dying and jay and will being like a mess ok thats way too dark but i like?

you either

die

get seriously maimed like idk loose a limb or smth idk

or ur unharmed and are like omg how am i not even bruised tf is this

depends on the level of angst idk

if anyone wants to ready this lmk i might actually write it

[miifu666]

Hi since i love your oc sooooo much i said why not draw what i love?? So i worked on it for two weeks actually ( i drew it on ibis paint x on my phone and cause of school it took me long to finish it) my thoughts on her is what a diva ✨👑 she actually is and i love powerful feminine WOMEN like her and i like people that aren't afraid of creating powerful beings like her and have the courage to!✨ also i have some questions about her... what is her mbti type? What are her hobbies? ( except traumatazing dragons)I think she looks ENTJ or? And please keep drawing more of her and wu Kong cause they look awesome!!!! Alsoooooooo i think you're super creative!! Like a (centipede) often represent hidden things or good luck which i love it!! Mysterious diva👌

OMG HELLOOO????? AJSHJSKSKS 😭😭

THATS CRAZYYYY OMLLL IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR RNNNN THANK YOUUUU!!!! THIS IS AMAZINGG OMGGG I LOVE THE DETAILS THAT U PUT IN HER HAIR AND CHESTPLATE SMMM GODDD YALL PLEASE CHECK HER OUTT SHE MAKES AMAZING ARTTT AND BRING UR OCS TO LIFEEE GODS WORK FR FRRR 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕 pls let me print this and put it on my fridge im going to show this off to everyone ik

Also thank you sm???? Im someone who puts too much symbolism in something, thank you for noticing her easter eggs!! That warms my heart omlll🥺

Fun fact, I created Suklha mostly because im someone who has a thing for cosmic horror, the drafted looks i made of her wasn't humanoid so i tried to incorporate that part into just her abilities than appearance 😭😭 i hope i dont make her too much though-

FOR Suklha's MBTI, i was thinking she's more like INTJ? Considering i accidentally made her more passive and behind the scene planning instead of Leading and being Extroverted. In the LMK verse, I've preferred to make her more introverted and keep things to herself. A workaholic who likes to invite people into her estate and use a fake name to order ramen to hide herself is VERY introvert coded to me. She has a social battery, just good at masking it. (She yells at Wukong)

Suklha's Hobbies

Thank you for asking about her hobbies!! She actually has a few, she loves to do bodycare a lot!! Like she would spend a minimum of an hour to properly shower herself, and a maximum of three to do her "Everything" shower. It's exhausting, STRENUOUS, in fact. But she can't help the proudful feeling of finally being clean and smell good! If you went to her house and check her personal bathroom, theres a whole wall full of body scrubs and body moisturizer. Her main body soap is a PERFUMED one.

Also, centipedes are avid cleaner who groom every time they eat, mostly when stressed.

Besides that, she has a thing for Fish watching?? Not sure if thats a real word but basically, Suklha would sit for HOURS just to watch any fish swim mindlessly. It helps her mind. Also, it's satisfying. Definitely a hobby that anyone besides Wukong and the Red lady doesn't know, being silent and emptyheaded is her way of showing vulnerability. So only few people know of this hobby of her.

Ajahhahsksj thank you sm yuuka im like speechless as hell 😞😞😞💕💕💕 argh god this is CRAZYYY 😭 SOMEONE STAB ME AM I DREAMING

[blood-injections]

Ooookay killjoy suitehearts masterpost here we go, been putting this together for a while now since everyone started posting their suitehearts stuff..

So I kinda have two versions of stories for them, i mean thats the great thing about writing and headcanons is that they can varie from story to story but anyway! this is like their main story and what I'll write if I ever get to writing a story focused on them, and varients of it will be similar with some like little changes if theyre more like background characters in something. But the two versions rn are just this main one and a slightly differing one for some other stuff in my drafts bc this main one is focused in the city bc the suitehearts are just such an underground rebel crew to me versus loud and proud killjoys in the desert, while the variation story is one where they are in the desert, or at least theyre like split between the city and desert, you'll see.

Some like basics before I get into their individual stuff, yeah they have, well mostly have their crazy looks, they're a crew of theater kids lol, not really they just have a sense of whimsy. I'll post art of each of my designs for them eventually their outfits arent as crazy because they have to like be able to fight and run and shit in them, but they stick with the colors and facepaint, because facepaint throws off facial recognition scanners so that the cameras cant track them, so they might as well have fun with it, and they turn it into part of their killjoyesque personas, the facepaint becomes them, marks them as crew and their personas kind of become characters in urban legends that everyone in the citys heard of.

ANYWAY

Dr. Benzedrine

Dr. Benzedrine? More like Mr. Medical Malpractice. Kidding. Mostly. He grew up in a wealthy family with parents that were good citizens and he always wanted to be a scientist or a doctor, to help people, and he was smart and they had money, so he was able to get into school and be just that. To learn all about science and medications and surgery and over the years he moved up the ranks, until he was one of the best surgeons in the city, and one thing about doctors, especially surgeons is that they have to be clear minded, not drugged up and foggy headed. And one thing about being good, about being a respected professional? Its like being an exterminator, you're never off the hook but the people in charge? They dont care as much about the state of your head, as long as you're loyal. So Benzedrine has benefits, and one of them is getting clean, of the decidedly mind altering stuff at least. But with clarity of mind for the first time in his life comes horrifying realization, because as a respected surgeon, he sees shit, because hes working in places that screams echo down the halls of and he can just tell that somethings wrong. He snoops and learns of re-education and of what happens to captured killjoys, interrogations and experiments and those are people and hes sickened. The more he digs the more he learns and the more he develops an intense hatred for better living and maybe he starts.. doing experiments of his own. Beause he works on a lot of respected folks, a lot of higher ups. He never botches a surgery but he starts messing with things, fucks with something while hes at the operating table, something that can't be traced back to him but that'll take the patient out in say, a couple months.

He's never disgusted by what hes doing, only finds pride in it, and maybe his hatred has twisted him but he likes himself better that way. The officials catch him snooping, though, eventually, but luckily they don't expect a thing, especially not when hes grown a master at lying. Because he's a respected doctor that has in their minds proven himself loyal, and when he bullshits his way through them finding him snooping about the lower levels of the hospital, they're nothing but happy at the fact he's grown curious about re-education, in fact they show him around, tell him all about it, their words are all propaganda and lies about how they're helping the people there, of course, but he smiles and nods along and makes comments like he agrees wholeheartedly. They say if hes interested in helping these people too, they can get him a position. He asks of he can still be the top surgeon if he takes up this position too and they say of course! As long as he doesn't overwork himself theyd be glad to have him assert himself in different fields of research.

So, he starts working with the prisoners. Because thats what they are. He sees them come in beaten up and hissing and spitting and he gets to see them grow complacent as they forget their whole lives in favor of some made up sob story and how theyll be so much happier once they're introduced back into society after their treatments. They'll only go on to be sanitation workers or office nuts at best, maybe scarecrows if they seem smart, but half of them will probably be plagued with nightmares once thyre released, broken memories trying to break through the chemical haze. They'll relapse, snap, do something drastic and they'll either be dracced or sent right back here to repeat the process all over again. Re-education isn't a complete fix, a guarantee of normalcy. It'll never be, not as long as they're just traumatizing people and praying they stay comatose long enough to get work done.

Hes there when a new batch of them come in, delinquents from the rebel underground, he learns, which flips his world upside down, theres a rebel underground? And they're apparently dangerous enough to be treated like captured killjoys. He sees these new patients come in in bonds, theres five of them captued, some silent and glaring and the others screaming until theres a needle shoved in their neck.

His new position is that of a twisted sort o psychiatrist, they gave him a whole slideshow to get ready for it. It told him to get in their heads, learn the secrets that interrogations couldnt get out and replace them with better living propaganda, until theyre nothing but smiling citizens ready to be let back into society. It's fucking brainwashing, nothing but, he fucking hates it. But they trusted him to do it and now hes here, but since he's here maybe he can help. Not brainwash these people, but help them, and if theyre really part of a rebellion, maybe if he helps them get out they'll take him with them and he can help people that probably actually need it, not just rich assholes from the center city.

Thats his plan, and it works, it takes a while to get the patients to trust him but once they do, they all get out. Sandman, Crab, and Donnie were all part of that group and its how the four meet and bond and start becoming a crew. Dr Benzedrine picks his name and quickly becomes a very valued member of the resistance because theres medics, but no professionals, let alone surgeons.

Mr. Sandman

Street kid, his parents were ritalin rats that stirred up too much trouble and got dracced when he was pretty young. He was hiding under a bed when it happened and Better Living didn't find him, but they didn't bother looking because he was a poor autistic little kid that they saw no use in. So they left him to his empty shitty little apartment in the slums. They never kicked him out, so hes luckier than most that he still had a place to sleep, but once he ran out of food he had to head to the streets, figure out how to either get food or money to survive. He learned and he grew up dealing illegal merchandise, not as low as you could stoop, but pretty low, low enough that if you're busted you could get dracced. But it kept him just afloat enough to not starve.

Illegal merchandise is stuff like outlawed music and media, cds he burned himself off the originals, cassettes, vhs. Just whatever he could get his hands on. And when he could get a signal, he'd play the stuff over the old radio equipment in his basement, making sure to scramble where the signature was coming from, because he'd definitely be dracced if they found out he was putting that stuff on air. Not like it got out of the city, bli has shit that doesn't let any signals in or out, but once in a very rare while, he'll get some faint killjoy frequencies and record whatever he can onto cassettes.

But even though he was dealing in secret and even though he didn't want to be a cog in the machine, even though he wanted to be one of those juvie halls, the rebels on the streets that you can hear hollaring at night, throwing bricks at scarecrows and running off before facial recognition gets them, he strived to get into the Better Living Academy, because it hasn't crosed his mind that he might not be stuck in battery city yet, like most people that rebel, he doesn't want to be on his streets his whole life, so he tries getting in to learn anything, even to get some shitty cubicle job, as long as it means maybe he could actually afford more than the shit slum slop he pawns for. But at he end of the day, he isn't on his pills and he knows they won't like that if they find out, and they keep turning him away anyway for his temperment, for his oddities, because he's still autistic and the bright lights and white expanse of bli spaces make his head scream and he just doesn't get half the questions they ask him and if he has his own questions, they dont explain things furthur for him.

So he gives up on that plan, whatever, at least he's still got his shit to deal out, at least he isnt drugged up like everyone else he saw in the screening rooms for the academy, all empty in the head. He can think, at least. And he has his music, he likes music.

Then he meets Horseshoe Crab, a really weird fellow who takes most of his stock for a hefty handful of carbons that'll get him along for a couple weeks, and the guys so nice he's suspicious, until their deal is interrupted by an ambush, a patrol scarecrows that must've gotten a tip about them, and Horseshoe pulls out a fucking gun, shoots the two closest ones and takes sandmans arm and has him run. At that sandmans convinced the guys not nice at all, hes just fucking crazy, but he runs away after him anyway because the guy just shot two fucking crows, he knows he'll probably live to see morning of he sticks with him. Turns out Horseshoes a juvie hall, like an actual one, not the brash gangs of kids that run around and say they are, actual juvie halls are untraceable, a solid underground, a real rebellion, well hidden from Better Livings watchful eye, its something you have to be smart enough to find and brave enough to join. And sandmans thrust right into the center of it, just a street dealer that followed a crazy guy with a gun that pulled him into a safehouse in the slums that was down a maze of dark alleys, and theres so much illegal shit inside he kind of wants to call it in just for the hefty reward he could get, but he also kind of wants to drop to his knees and worship it all. Theres books, weapons, color. And a few rough looking people that at their sudden entrance, scan them and one goes. "Dammit, Crab."

Long story short, they're members of the fucking rebellion and theres a short but terrifying debate of whether or not to shoot him, but Horseshoe defends him and it turns out the rebellion likes people that risk their lives to deal rock and roll, because he basically gets an invitation. And well, that was his real dream, the one hes had since he was a little kid, wanting to be those unapologetic rebels in the street messing with bli for shits and giggles. This is obviously more than that, but still. So he accepts, and hes thrust into the center of it all. He has to prove he can be trusted by going on so many missions or passing along packages and illegal goods, but once he's proved hes no rat hes showed the base, how to get into the rebellion underground. Its a scattered maze of random apartments that are safehouses, and then the actual underground shit, the tunnels and whole rooms and shit, the stuff from what Battery City used to be that bli just built over and forgot about.

He and Horseshoe become quick friends and he learns that crabs not just a juvie hall but a zonerunner, that he risks his life sneaking in and out of the city to deliver news and supplies to the killjoys out in the desert and vise versa. Sandman turns out to be quite useful, because hes good with computers and especially, radio equipment, since he grew up with that stuff in his basement and copying all that music and playing some over the frequencies when he could, and he fixes up their old shit and becomes the radio operator of the underground rebellion, the voice of the voiceless. He's basically the cherri cola of battery city, as in hes given the task of feeding news to the juvie halls on the streets and so he's always on the air and monolauging what is just weird poetry or random stories to any untrained ears, but while cherri colas thing is actualy just poetry, sandmans is actually speaking entirely in code that only juvie halls will be able to pick apart, because PAX AM isn't some far off station in the zones like WKIL, no, it broadcasts from inside the walls of battery city and better living could always be listening in. Did I make this his thing entirely to play into the lyric all the walls lean in to listen? Maybe.

Hes actually known as Mr Sandman now, took the codename when he became their radio operator, but the suitehearts aren't a thing yet, no, thats still a long way off. Benzedrine isn't even part of the rebellion yet. He also gets his distinct style, encuraged by the juvie halls who just like killjoys push for everyone to be an individual and fuck the citys mandates, so goth gnc bitch it is. The longer hes in the underground the more disconnected from gender he gets.

There's a raid to the underground, someone must have tipped bli off. A solid blow is dealt to the rebellion in the form of a good number of juvie halls being captured, sandman one of them. Now being some low level dealer can get you dracced, but being a real juvie hall gets you something much worse, re-education, because you have to be smart to be a rebel and have survived this long, and bli can use those smarts, as long as they tear you down to a blank slate first. Thats what re-education is, picking you apart piece by piece, drugging you up and pouring propaganda and altered history down your throat until youre a 'functioning member of society'

He's assumed dead or beyond saving from the mindfuck of re-education by the remaining rebellion, who after this bust has to move base to a different part of the city. But about six months after he was taken and the radio went silent, his voice mysteriously reappears, speaking in code about the old base, where the escaped suitehearts went back to and found abandoned as they expected it to be, but had hopes of scrounging old supplies or this, broadcasting their return.

The juvie halls find them and bring them and the radio equipment to the new base, and Mr Sandman is officially the voice of the voiceless again, now with a crew.

Eventually they get fancy tech or an antennae or something thats just strong enough to get a signal out to the zones, and theres always been a slow feed of news between the killjoys and the juvie halls via zonerunners, and the cnnectiom can still be stratchy, but now on the good days Sandman can talk directly to doctor death defying to get news out to the zones and vice versa.

Horseshoe Crab

The only sand pup of the suitehearts, grew in the zones with his dad, who was in the helium wars, but he was dusted when Crab was about eight and he went right to gravel gerties, where he stayed until he joined a group of the older kids when they left gertie to go on their own, and let him tag along even if he was the youngest of them by far. They were all crash queens and glitter brains and he put up with them for a while, but eventually drifted off on his own, and was sixteen when he forst got hired by Tommy to meet with some runners in zone one when they cane outta the walls and to help them get their supplies back to his shop. These jobs always paid well, with either his share of supplies or a handful of carbons, so he kept doing them and eventually tagged along with the runners to go in-city to the rebels there. He liked it there, oddly enough, liked meeting so many different types of rebels, because killjoys are.. killjoys. Theyre all gearheads and glitterbrains but juvie halls tend to be more serious while still having fun. They understand the risk of what they do. Killjoys are just kids with guns, they have growing up to do or things to lose before theyre level headed enoughfor Crab to feel lile he gets them.

So it becomes his thing, zonerunning, getting supplies out to Tommy's and news into the city and vise versa, he makes friends in the underground and eventually meets sandman, then gets caught with him and meets the others too. He isnt around all the time, still does runs, and takes Benzedrine in and out with him if theres someone in the zones that desperately needs a real doctor.

Donnie the Catcher

Hell of an engineer, even figures out robotics, he grew up working in a garage in the neon district, and as he got older, started helping out androids that needed repairs in secret. Its looked down upon to help androids, simce theyre not human and not seen as human, and thats what their service hubs are for, to request repairs, but he knows theres no real help there, not if they're an older model or anything other than some high ups customized pornodroid. Most droids just end up recycled in the incinerators or rusting in the streets, so he does what he can to help when they start falling apart.

He doesn't agree with bli, with how he treats these people, and when a service droid named Jenny that he's helped a handful of times invites him to the underground, because droids can be juvie halls too, theyve gotta be fukin brave to be, because where human juvie halls will be reducated or dracced, rebelling droids will just be shot for going against their programming. Donnie tells Jenny he has to stay and support his family at the garage, but if he can help out he'd be glad to as long as he can get back to the garage at the end of the day. Thats how he becomes a juvie hall. One day down the line he heads to the base and he was there for maybe a half hour when the raid happened and he was captured with the others. He was newer than sandman and crab and had never really crossed paths with them since he didnt spend a whole lot of time in the underground, so hes meeting them for the first time when theyre brought in for re-education. He was one of the ones that stayed quiet and glared, mostly worried about Jenny, that they were there and maybe caught in the raid, becaue she may be all metal but they totally kissed a couple times.

When they all escape he becomes a full time resident in the underground, knowing he can never go back to the garage a fugitive. But not seeing his family is better than the alternative of having been reducated and torn apart at the seams. Besides, once he's got the suitehearts, they're all inseparable.

That's it, once they're a crew, all their experiences and skills combined, they're a unique group for sure. Sandman and Crab already have their own looks and weird relstionships with gender, but Donnie and Benz have never put much thought into the individuality stuff, Benz a slave to Better Living his whole life and Donnie focused on working and surviving. Eventually they find their weird styles, colors theyre fond of as a fuck you to bli, and then the facepaint, it marks them as a crew and as people ready to fight for their cause. Anyway what if I said Donnie transfem she/he(and yes. rocking the beard) :3

------

As for the second version, its mostly the same, its just like.. the zones version for stories where they know they fab four. They're all younger and they're basically split between the city and the zones. Their backstories are pretty much the same except Benzedrine got out before he was even really a surgeon, hes still a damn good doctor though, and Sandman left to be a killjoy instead of sticking around the underground. Crabs still a zonerunner that gets Benz in and out to help people and when hes in the desert he bunks with sandman in his concession stand turned weird little trailer in the outskirts of zone two. And Donnies zoneborn too instead of Mrs androidfucker in the city, shes Sandman's good friend and mechanic when he gets into racing at the crash track. They're all good friends and still very much a crew, theyre based out of he zones, Benz too, theyre just still a bit spread out at times when someone in the underground needs help.

Ugh man is there anything missing idk well if there is I guess I can add it later. Okay the end 👍

[shimmerwindow]

I Never Really

Part Eleven

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: None!

Playlist | Masterlist

Tag list: @jazzyfigz @dont-go-home-without-me @poochiesworld @stardustcatcher @83rkblogs @jaketsguitar @dannys-dream @gretavanfan @do-it-jakey-baby @gvfpal @ignite-my-fire @gardensgatekeeper

Thanksgiving break had arrived, a welcome reprieve from the constant stress of classes. Everything had been ramping up lately on the climb to finals season, as your mental health had started to dwindle. Your world was crumbling, piece by piece, and you were desperately trying to get all those pieces back into place as the weight of life held you down. You hoped that finally getting some time alone would be helpful.

Loneliness had always been your closest friend, though it felt harder to cope with now that you’d gotten a taste of actual friendship. It had been tainted with love and lust, but it was friendship nonetheless, and you missed it dearly. This time of year in particular was always difficult. You could never afford the holiday travel cost to get back home, so you’d always just stay in the dorms, alone.

It was harder now, watching your fellow classmates in the hallways. Some looked ecstatic, smiles gracing their faces as they held their phones to their ears with one hand, the other hooked around the handle of a suitcase. Others looked exhausted, dark circles under their eyes as they shuffled their tired feet down the hall.

Being here with so few others had its perks. The showers were much cleaner, and on a few lucky occasions, you were the only person in the room. You kept yourself busy, finally cleaning the garbage heap that was once your dorm, and putting the finishing touches on your projects that would be due in the coming weeks. Through it all, though, a lingering feeling of sadness loomed over you like a dark cloud.

It was only the third day of the week-long respite, and you couldn’t take the feeling anymore. You drafted a text. One to Sam. Your last correspondence had been weeks ago, now, and something in your heart ached when you saw the date next to the messages. We don’t talk anymore, you thought, and that was the loneliest feeling in the world, for so many reasons.

hey, wondering if you and the guys are around/busy? bored and stuck in the dorms lol

You hadn’t even managed to close the app before you saw the tiny text of read appear under your message. It was almost instant.

back home for the week! maybe we can hang when we’re back? hope you've been well

You didn’t bother replying. What was the use, with all the unspoken words behind every sentence? You gave his message a heart, and put your phone back in your lap.

This was a situation you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. You tried to think of how far back you would go if given the chance. If you knew then what you knew now, would you never go up to the roof that night? Maybe you’d quit smoking altogether. You barely smoked these days, only when you were particularly stressed. The smell reminded you too much of him. As did everything else, in all honesty.

The light was quickly disappearing from the sky, stormy clouds obscuring the rising moon. Maybe a walk would ease your nerves. You shrugged on your coat and slipped your feet into your shoes, heading out into the chilly air. You hated Sam for so many things now, so many things that were not his fault. You could no longer take your favorite path down the least-traveled side of campus, not since you spotted his car there.

Your mind began to unravel in the solitude. Campus was empty, with a dead air to it that made you the slightest bit uncomfortable. Normally, a lack of people would be everything you’d hoped for, but it was no longer comforting to you.

An array of paths sprawled out in front of you in your mind. There seemed to be no way forward given your current position. You’d tried to take the advice of Josh and Jake and talk to Sam, but you couldn't find the words. Everything you wanted to say just felt wrong when you would practice it in the mirror. And, on top of that, you weren't sure if you would be able to hold your composure when he actually gave you a response. Would you be able to keep a poker face if he told you he was dating this girl? You had no idea, and didn’t feel like finding out the hard way.

Visions of Sam danced in front of your eyes as your feet naturally quickened their pace. You didn’t have time for this. There was already enough weighing on your mind, the added stress of all this was too much. You feared that you’d made a terrible mistake, choosing to sleep with Jake. It was an action that had been deliberately calculated to sever your tie with Sam, whether you wanted to admit it to yourself or not. You’d told Jake he was not part of a revenge scheme, but that had been a lie, you now realized.

You said it wasn’t about Sam. But it had always been about him. Everything you did revolved around Sam. He was now the center of your world. This was more than a crush. You started walking faster. This was more than just finding him cute. You started jogging. This was more than wanting to be close friends with him. You started sprinting across the grass, your shoes leaving trails in the damp grass.

You couldn’t outrun him. You couldn’t the last time you’d been here, running across campus, trying to get away from him, hoping you could exhaust yourself out of being able to think. It wasn’t possible, not anymore. As you collapsed into the grass under a tree, your head spun, every word Sam had ever said to you running through your mind all at once, his image brighter in your mind than ever before.

The last of the leaves shuddered off the tree one by one in the light breeze. The dying grass tickled the palms of your hands when you laid them flat on the ground, your chest heaving. Tears ran down the sides of your face and all of this felt all too familiar. You hadn’t been able to say it back then, but you couldn’t hide from it anymore.

You loved him. You were deeply, desperately, unshakably in love with Sam.

The first flakes of snow began to fall. Delicately, small white flakes drifted down to you, landing on your blazing cheeks and collecting in your hair. Winter was here. Just as you decided to stop lying to yourself. Soon, the semester would end. You would be alone once again. You wouldn’t see Sam every morning, and you could free yourself of his constant influence. It was all so indescribably perfect and terrible, every feeling you had about him so painfully unresolved.

For the first time, you allowed yourself to dream. To fantasize about him in the ways you had always repressed so deeply. The calluses on his fingers, would they be rough against the soft skin of your cheek? What would it feel like to have your lips against his neck, your fingers running through his hair? It hurt so beautifully to let all of it in, two months of emotions washing over you all at once in a bittersweet haze.

Jake had meant nothing, when you got right down to it. But you’d put yourself in a precarious situation, now. Social dynamics you didn’t quite understand swirled in your head, confusing you, you couldn’t even remember all the details at this point. All you knew was that you’d taken what was offered, at the cost of losing what you needed most. Above all, you were scared. Nothing would be the same now, and you'd ruined something that could have been so beautiful – you were sure of it.

* * *

In some ways, it was nice to finally say it out loud. The rest of Thanksgiving break passed by like molasses, each day dragging on longer than the next. You’d done nothing but wallow in the agony of unrequited love, but it was somewhat easier now that you could say it. Love. When the semester resumed, you put on a brave face in front of Sam, though you were sure it was written all over you. There was no real use hiding it anymore. If he didn’t know then, he knew now, in the way you stared at him at the end of every class.

It was the final week of your regular schedule, and you felt a kind of nostalgia walking into the lecture hall for the last time. It would be a work day, the professor announced.

“Well!” Sam said, stretching his arms above his head and turning to you. “I think we’ve got this in the bag.”

Indeed, you did. The two of you had worked rather seamlessly together, more than you’d expected. “Yeah, I think it’s done.”

“Wanna turn it in together?” He gave you that smile, the one you had every inch of memorized.

“I think we only need to submit it once. You can do it, if you want.”

“No, together!” He pulled up the submission screen and added the finished file, neatly titled with your full names. Seeing them next to each other like that was strangely jarring. Before you could protest, he snatched your hand off the desk in front of you and brought it over to the mouse on his laptop. That warm, rough hand stayed on top of yours, pushing your fingers down to click the mouse button once.

And just like that, it was over. The class that had originally drawn the two of you together was done, it was all over. Nothing tethered you to him anymore but the fraying social ties you’d so carefully neglected. Pondering it for too long made you feel tears threatening to well up in the corners of your eyes.

“Finally done.” His voice broke you from your reverie, his hand sliding off of yours. “You wanna come over some time soon?”

You didn’t want to. You weren’t sure you could ever be alone in a room with Sam ever again. You recalled the words of his brothers, though. You needed to talk to him. Even if it was only to find closure, to be given the opportunity to truly cut him out of your life without guilt. “Sure, if I’ve got time. Finals, y’know.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” he chuckled. “I’m in the same boat. And I have to move all my shit back to the house, too.”

He did look much more exhausted than usual. Those eyes, that already had an air of tired behind them, seemed heavy. Dark circles adorned the spaces below them. His hair was pulled back, and had lost some of its usual luster.

“Maybe once I’m done with everything I’ll text you." Maybe.

He looked at you, and closed his laptop with a finger. “Sweet. I’ve been missing you.”

“Really?” The word slipped out in shock.

“Of course. What’s a sky without the sun and moon?” He gave you a little shove and a grin. Unbearably endearing, to the point you almost felt embarrassment over it.

“Will you ever stop being so cheesy?”

“Don’t think it’s physically possible, actually.”

“So you’re not staying in your dorm?” You asked.

“No, isn’t the place closed during break?” He looked at you, confused. "You're staying there, though, I'm guessing?"

You nodded. “Normally, yeah. They let some people stay over the break. Like, international students, or people who can’t go home.”

“Can’t…go home?” He looked at you like he was treading on very treacherous ground.

You waved a hand at him, giving a sheepish grin. “Oh, it's not like that. My parents are just really far away. And they downsized recently, so I don’t have a room there anymore. It’s smarter for me to just stay here.”

“Oh, right, right.” He propped his elbow on the desk, resting his cheek against his palm. He looked utterly captivated by even dull talk. “Seems like it would get lonely in there this time of year.”

“Doesn’t bug me much. You get used to it.”

“Probably nice to finally have some peace and quiet, huh?”

“Oh, god, yes.”

“Hoping I’ll finally get some of that at the house. The guy in the room next to me, I don’t think he's spent a single night alone the whole semester. Loud as fuck, too.”

You laughed at that, immediately picking up what he was laying down. “God, that sounds obnoxious.”

“I’m worried it won’t be much better at the house. It never is.”

There was something behind his eyes when he said that, something that made your palms start to sweat and your eyes take in a bit more light. Fear, regret, something in the middle of the two. All that ran through your mind was thoughts of Jake, how you would have to stop. You’d need to quit all of them, that entire family.

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat and spoke over your silence. “I’m gonna run, if we’re done here.”

You nodded, suddenly struck by the feeling that you might cry at any moment. “Sounds good. I’ve got some shit to do, anyway.”

The two of you parted ways, and you were both burdened and light as a feather as you headed to the library to kill time before your next class. You didn’t have anything to do, in reality, but you needed time to center yourself.

Walking into the library did you no favors. You could see the quiet corner where you and Sam had sat together; that was months ago now. You sat as far away from that spot as you could, but your eyes lingered on it. If you could go back to that moment, would you change a thing? Would you have given up the blissful joy of being in love to avoid the way you now felt shattered to pieces?

A small part of you thought that, perhaps, it had all been worth it. Just to know him, during this time, had been enough. Maybe in your next life, you would meet him again, and he would point out the stars to you with his arm draped around your shoulder while you wore his sweater. The one you loved, the one that complimented his eyes. Maybe it would look just as good on you.

[crazylittlejester]

Just sliding in here to ramble about my projects if you don't mind.

I have 1 more paper to write and 1 more test to take and then I'm officially free from spring classes but I don't have anything else to do other than clean and organize so I've been spending my time thinking way too much about stuff.

I've got a list of prompts and ideas that I need to write fics for, so most of it has been planning for that. I am going to finish Whumptober even if it takes me all year. I have been waiting to write my grand finale for 7 months. I can't give up now.

My favorite project right now is a series of one shots about Sky's loftwing being a support animal. I've been trying to decide what I should write next, but I'm very indecisive. I definitely want to give each Link a turn being the victim, though. I've got an agenda now.

Other than that I have some miscellaneous stuff in my notes and drafts. I need to figure out how Koholint and Age of Calamity are going to fit into an AU I'm planning. Time travel makes everything 10x harder.

i dont mind at all :)

YOU GOT THIS DUDE 🫶🫶🫶 YOURE SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE WITH SCHOOL I BELIEVE IN YOU

also that series with Sky and his loftwing sounds super cool!! i absolutely love that idea

Time travel definitely makes things harder 😭 one might feel like it would make things easier but no, it does not

[bunny-heels]

oh i should give my thoughts on Final Draft since i finally finished it. spoilers below

so the ONLY thing i didn't like was that there wasnt a lot of new manuscripts or videos to find. i probably missed a couple pages because i didnt look around as much, but i am sad that the 3rd Darling video is gonna be for the Lake House and the 2nd Door video is gonna be for Night Springs. i dont mind waiting to see them but i wish the collectibles menu didnt list it as incomplete cause its not even in the game yet. but i'll gladly wait to see them.

okay on to actual thoughts.

finding the dark poems on the surface world was a big splash of whiplash, and i liked how they were placed throughout the game, especially with the order of how i switch realities, it felt perfect.

the beginning with Saga telling Casey that she used to be into geology and she helped Logan with a science fair project, but basically did it for her and Casey going "oh thats basically a CRIME, Anderson". that was adorable. i love their dynamic so much it hurts.

ALSO IM SO HAPPY THEY PUT IN THE LINES FOR THE SALT SHAKER MEMORY. i'll come clean and say i've heard the audio before from when my boyfriend went through the files, but it made me so happy to hear it in-game. Casey is so fucking cute. and the fact that Saga notes that Casey doesn't joke around with literally anyone else, showing that he trusts Saga so much. i love this man i love him i love him i need to nibble on him like a dog nibbles on a plush toy

Darling's videos were very fun to watch. i loved that he didn't really care that he was trapped in the Dark Place because to him it was just a new thing to research and make experiments with. i'm assuming after he realized Alan sounded like him that he tried not to think about too much at first, but that's definitely going to be something that fucks with his brain later

Darling and Zane fucked for sure im convinced of that. if i had to pair any other characters together besides Saga and Casey then it's Darling and Zane. fucking Zane saying Kippis as he takes a drink with him too. i'm killing this man. theres apparently a theory that they both created Alan and that's why he looks like Zane but sounds like Darling. if thats true, then Sam Lake is a fucking genius for making it that a brilliant artist and an advanced scientist made the stupidest writer son on the planet and it somehow worked. at least the one thing they have in common is all three of them deep down have selfish bastard tendencies.

but even if Alan's a bastard he loves Alice so so so fucking much and it was literally their love and memories of each other that brought them back together along with Saga putting some sense into him to actually think about others, not just him and Alice. i hope Alice is doing okay and that she got to be reunited with Alan as soon as possible.

Tor and Odin showing up in the Dark Place was adorable, and im so happy that apparently they're fine with Door now, after what happened in '88. i'm assuming what brought them to finally come to an agreement was that they wanted what was best for Saga and Alan. i hope Logan and David get to meet Tor and Odin at some point in-canon, even if its off screen. i'm still curious on what's gonna happen the next time Alan and Door meet, or when that's even gonna happen, but i guess that's either gonna be in the DLCs or even in Control 2. i also hope Tim gets out and gets to finally be face-to-face to Door, which is probably also gonna happen in either DLC or Control 2.

finally the ending. i thought it was perfect. i've seen people say it was too easy and that there shouldve been more ambiguity. i'll be honest, i think the ending is a perfect blend of closure and opened interpretation. Alan finally got out and Logan is alive now, which is wonderful, but now it's the question of what's happening outside the writer's room. what's going on at the Lake House? why did the FBC go dark? did Tim get out? are Saga and Casey now going to be dragged into the FBC full-time because Kiran deputized them?

we also still don't know what happened to Darling after meeting with Tom [at least i havent cause i refuse to watch the leaked third video]. is Darling gonna be able to figure out his way through the Dark Place? is he gonna get the chance to meet Door and Tim? is he gonna indirectly cause Jesse or Dylan or both of them to go into the Dark Place in Control 2? is Darling being the Dark Place a good thing at all? does he ever figure out how he ended up there after trying to stop the Hiss? is he aware that Trench is gone and Jesse is the new Director?

i think the most the ending does is just show that Alan's part in the RCU is MOSTLY done, at least for now. to me this looks like a chance for him to show up more often in other things and to maybe help with what's happening at the FBC. the most i hope for him at the moment is he meets up with Alice again, and ESPECIALLY meets up with Barry, though i hope the Blessed organization haven't done anything to him, which is another thing that i hope gets touched on.

anyways i'm very happy i finished it im so excited :]

[appleslices]

i love your little work posts zee 😚 i go back to work on saturday and will be posting about how i hate pouring draft beers again let’s complain about work together 🫂

yaaaaay complaining!!!! i dont mind the actual drink pouring or mixing (except when im trying to make a drink that i dont know and the person is Watching me the whole time….like please leave me, the liquor, the fixings, and my little drink cards in peace….) i just hate like hmmmmmm when customers. yeah.

Oh wait i also hate pouring drafts when it gets foamy i have like two beers rn that for some reasons always make SO much foam like every time it sits for more than a minute basically i have to pour like half a pint of foam, toss it, and then i can pour a clean pint. also our beer “drain” isnt an actual drain its just a shallow metal like spill catcher that we have to walk to the sink to dump and its so messy i spill it all the time and get beer all over the floor and more importantly the Me……i smell like fucking IPAs my whole shift and it sucks so much.

[just-spacetrash]

ok i'll bite. who is melina

EDIT: ermmm so im cleaning my drafts and i had this here fsgshdgd i frogot i never posted it cause i was too lazy to look for example images :'Ddd but the rant is all there and i still LOVE melina so here<3333 take my unfinished answer to ur question from like 6 months ago LMAO :Dd sorry i never answered this</33

okay first i wanna give a disclaimer: elden ring spoilers but also im not fact checking any of this this is just how i feel about her

so. melina. shes a character in elden ring whos the one that like levels u up and guides you a bit in the beginning. you may know her from the meme where she calls you bitchless

her whole story arc is about how shes gonna help you take down The Golden Order which is like laws of physics and also regular laws in the land and shes gonna do that by burning this

bigass tree. only to do so she like channels the flame through herself and like burns in the process too UNLESS

idk what clicked in my brain when i saw her but shes like everything to me. like everything bagel everything on my freetime i just come up with things that she is like to me. shes like a jenga block to me. like a lost-and-found pair of gloves. like a week old pastry in the window of some bakery. like a crack in a windowscreen of a car. i could go on

in canon shes a very complicated character too cause shes like the daughter of the God Queen Marika entrapped in the tree she wants to burn, and its a bit unclear to me if Marika wants the tree gone or nah since she like. invented the golden order that would be destroyed if the tree burns. either way yeah its like complicated

also im so fascinated by the conflict of how Melinas always talking about like some prophecy or like destiny being the reason why she sacrifices herself but at the same time, the whole burning of the tree is like breaking free of the, well literally, order of how things are

what makes my blorboification of Melina even funnier is that i dont unserstand like most of her lore, i just like her vibe. and so ive decided to craft her into something probably very 'out of character' but i dont mind since im objectively right about everything i say about her.

in conclusion, melina is my blorbo. my wretched little meow meow. my silly rabbit and right hand arm.

thank you

[immaterial-pearl]

Im about to go home, clean, work on an amv, exercise photography and cook a feast for myself^_^. I love my lifeeeee I’m so happy. My friend who works security had a shift at my uni building 2day and we had a nice chat. I showed an ukrainian exchange student some of the old town of Gdańsk and she gave me ukrainian chocolates!!!!!!!!!! And I turned in a draft of my editing assignment but it didnt go well. But i dont mind. Im happy.

[imaslothandsowhat]

still unemployed. also, highly anxious and have creeping depression coming back. home situation so stressful with the whole home renovation. we dont have any help and im incapable of doing everything my parents want me to do. i keep having pestering health issues. i dont get enough sleep and i think i have very strong case of insomnia fuelled by horrible anxiety. home renovation is so stressful and shit doesnt work bcos both my parents are old and, well, im not a fucking builder so i dont do it either. they keep having constant bickering to full blown out fights. i cant even clean the house, im so exhausted all the time. i think tis the atmosphere in the house - depressing and hopeless, we all succumbed to it. i dont know how to escape. also, reading horror stories - that may have influenced my mental state in one way or another, who knows, at least it keeps me happy bcos im lost in another book.

i try to write. finished one shot. writing another one, a very long one. i have many ideas for fanfics but then i get discourages bcos 'those are just fanfics'. they are not going to get me employed or recognised in any way. its not a published book draft. i cant force myself write an analytical piece of essay on politics - it bores me, kills me. i want to be educated and i try to read some academic articles but i cant physically force myself to open one. also, i want to and, actually, just have to read and learn the laws (plural, yes, so fucking many) of my country so i can be an educated citizen that knows her rights. its intimidating, its a lot, i want to cry often bcos i feel like a failure.

im so old and i dont have a job even though i graduated bachelors already a year ago. i shouldve found smthgn by now. but i dont want any job, i want smthng nice and worthy of m and my time and my knowledge. but i suppose im also very lazy and passive. i thought about starting a youtube channel, but thats also a lot of effort. a lot of energy.

all my energy goes to surviving day by day in this depressed household whre my father is always angry, tired, unhappy and my mother is always angry, tired, unhappy. see, a pattern? i am, too, always angry, tired, unhappy. when things go well, we cherish and we dont do anything. then, things swiftly go to shit and i feel sm anxiety that i feel my heart bursting and bleeding and i dont have any meds (except simple calming one) to help me. i want to cry, often, more often.

i began my singing online classes. it felt like a lot of fun and i enjoyed it. i want to begin my piano classes too, slowly. but then, i feel like a failure bcos its not a job. i dont work. i dont get money. i dont develop myself career-wise. everythign i do and enjoy slightly - its all a mess, its all unworthy, its all pointless. i dont help around the house, i dont help with renovations, i dont work. im nothing, i worth nothing. i dont have a job and im nothing, i dont have a career and how dare i dream big, how dare i be ambitious.

very depressive state of mind. my mind is haunted, i suppose, its hunted even by these sharks of anxiety and self-hatred ingrained so deep within me that it takes me so many years to unlearn that no, in fact, killing oneself is not a logical decision and hating every inch of your being and your personality is, in fact, not a healthy and cool attitude.

well, doing it all little by little. might read some academic articles, might not. who knows? no one fucking hires me regardless of how many cvs i send. my country is rotting, decaying from blatant nepotism and corruption. how will i move through it? i do not know. but i put too much energy already in my beautiful hobbies, in helping around the house, in keeping myself and my parents sane and not going off the rockers. its a full time job, actually! i try to soothe myself before i sleep bcos i wish only to cry and scream bcos how dare my fate not be what i have imagined all these months ago.

the world is cruel, unhappy, damp place. and i think im falling through it. but im trying to remember that this all is just a temporary feeling and i will feel better soon, maybe even tomorrow. my hobbies make sense, they are worth the time, worth my energy. i must try to enjoy my life even though i feel like its running away and i am worthless and my mom's words about 'doing something, write something, DO SOMETHING' are not helping. i simply want to decompose, cease to move forever. why time flies so fast? its already the third month of the year and i havent accomplished anything. work-wise, i guess. mentally? im down again. why life is like this.

tmrw i believe things will be better even though i cant for the life of me force myself to fall asleep early bcos my thoughts are killing me, eating me from the inside. i cant for the life of me force myself to wake up early bcos the dread of the day filled with depressive state horrifies me. what a cycle i live in. i dont know how to get out. and my depressed and angry parents are not helping. and i do not want to leave my house, pls do not suggest, im so sick of this stupid suggestion.

[angy-grrr]

Lets get it straight:

Some ppl spamming Horikoshi's tweets are not actual Japanese ppl, but wrote it in Japanese so he would understand what they are saying (Japanese fandom tends to dislike leaks).

I have seen the 38 pages from a completely different account that seemed pretty random, one of those that says "ill delete in an hour" which has happened before; the most convincing thing about this is the amount of pages and how it looks at first glance pretty legit, with complex details but badly executed.

Besides the art looking pretty empty -there is just one slightly more detailed background, but its a small space and the rest has minimal effort to make it look like its a city- we need to keep in mind this could not be changed; in weekly released, some stuff changes as they are still working on things before a official release the chapter online, but this time we are talking about the publication of the volume. If we are supposed to believe these are real leaks, then it would just literally look like that. Empty. The other solution, in this hypothetical example, would be that these are old drafts or the first ones, but it doesnt make sense to me personally as the mistakes cant be just fixed adding more ink -you need to errase many parts.

Many things look dirty, not because of it being a leak -as you said, this is a weirdly clean full release- but because they add too much shadows in places that dont make that much sense. It also looks like multiple separate ppl worked on it, instead of being a clear teamwork where everyone has a particular job (like a messy group project).

At the same time two different pictures depicting the same scene with different qualities and styles were released. Small details like the suitcase, the seats, the seatbelts look pretty different, along with the drawing style. I dont remember if the person who showed the "full leaks" used both or just the right one, but its still weird that we have just two completely different formats (left one looks like it was a scan even with a watermark, and the right one is completely digital).

Hands weren't great, and many mistakes typical for artists happened but as we know, Horikoshi is the king of drawing hands, specially meaningful ones.

Some ppl are saying hj hsrs that horikoshi could just be taking revenge on SJ for not letting him make the actual ending he wanted, so he ended anything ppl could enjoy (no villains, no bkdk hero partners, no dadmight, no dadzawa, no hopeful message, no actual romantic handhold nor declaration of feelings...) but idk if he would do something like that and at the same time work with so much care in the redraws for the volume.

That reminds me, we supposedly got a full extra chapter, 38 pages, but we didnt get the leaks for all the redraws? As far as I know there are still more panels not revealed, and again, the volume is ready, in a few days ppl will be able to buy it.

The comments the leakers made feel so wrong to me... how this was so VERY WELL drawn and cute... when its empty, lacks emotional building and has so many drawing errors unlikely to happen with the high quality of the art. The whole Deku just beat all allegations, all of them... like making fun of shippers/ppl who like to hc him as queer? idk, its really weird.

A part of me believes it could be true -there are many pages and many complicated things to introduce like the suitcases that become hero suits- but at the same time this looks so bad, and goes against everything this whole series is about. How could this shit be approved, while working on making the other pages look even better? How could we just ignore the plus ultra message the last time? This isnt extra random content, this is a new chapter, 431. Where is it? where's bnha? this is a dj to hate on everyone while trying to keep it "realistic enough" to pass as real.

What if it's confirmed these aren't real pages and we've been upset over some fanart???

Like this looks like hori's old art style (or in some panels not at all like his art??) Like here's his re-draw of that one Deku scene compared to a scene in the epilogue

like??? He's had so much time to work on it,so why would it look like his old art style? Especially if we can expect to see THAT (on the right) in the same volume??? Something is fishy here.

like the only people confirming this is real/cannon are leakers,and even some of the Japanese fandom is confused/upset about this. I haven't seem any of the official announcements for this,and a TON of the pages are missing. Like they're meant to be 30+and there's only like what the same ten going around?

If these were leaks they wouldn't be so high quality and they would,y'know,look like hori's art style? I know I said some of it looked ai generated,and I still do think some panels do,but this really feels like a different manga.

Story and art wise this feels empty and disconnected from the series. Like it's the exact opposite of what happened in 430. Like Hori decided that he hated Katsuki and forgot all about literally everything to do with Izuku and Katsuki's relationship?

He said he didn't want a naruto ending,but he decided to give us one in the epilogue??? He said he wanted an ending like heroes rising,so he decided to contradict the whole damn movie for this epilogue????

Nothing makes sense about this. I have hope this isn't official,but honestly I'm starting to give up on Hori,and I don't like that. I always trusted him to write what he wanted,but what I've seen and read doesn't seem like Horikoshi's,it's not mha. It feels like a dudebro wrote this.

Like Izuku is so emotionless in this. It's empty. He's empty. And I'm supposed to believe this guy drew all of THIS and decided to go back on all of it with a few pages????

this is just SOME of the recent stuff. So why the sudden change?

I really don't think this epilogue is going to be official,I HOPE it isn't,but I haven't much of a reason to think Hori wrote/drew this horse shit. Besides leakers saying so. And I don't really trust them very much,so I don't really have any reasons to think this is cannon.

But only time will tell.

[vantekay]

"she has her head in her heart and a broken body

never wrong but she always says sorry

takes the pain, and throws away her pride

for a man with a hole in the middle of his chest

promising herself that she'll only see the best

so she stays and gives away her life"

[pizzleyanked]

i bought a jasmine this wednesday and today it started blooming 💖