#claudius you will always be famous

[germanicusgirl]

currently reading Dynasty: The Rise and Fall of the House of Caesar by Tom Holland (not that one) and i am screaming about the descriptions used for certain family members of this incredibly fucked up family (affectionate)

[ahqkas]

theo with a gf who is just naturally quiet and zones out 24/7.She doesnt even do it purposefully it just happens,and doesnt relaise when people try to get her attention or are speaking to her.She barely talks,mostly to theo,whos her voice but sometimes she zones out when hes talking and he has to bring her back

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

THEO HAD ALWAYS FOUND A CERTAIN CHARM IN YOUR QUIET NATURE, a calm amidst the storm of chaos in the world around him. your natural tendency to zone out, to drift away into your own thoughts, was something he had grown accustomed to. he had learned to recognize the distant look in your eyes, the subtle way your focus would slip away from the present moment. and he was completely okay with it.

one rainy afternoon, you both sat by the black lake, the sun hidden behind a bunch of dark clouds as the two of you were nestled under a large umbrella, watching the droplets melt in the lake water. theo was talking about a book he had been currently reading, his voice full with enthusiasm.

“it’s one of shakespeare’s most famous tragedies. it’s about a prince who’s dealing with a lot of grief and anger after his father’s death,” theo paused, glancing over at you to make sure you were following. “his mother, gertrude, marries his uncle claudius really soon after the king’s death. and hamlet, well, he’s not too happy about it.”

you nodded, captivated by the way theo's voice seemed to bring the centuries-old text to life. "he's kind of stuck in this existential crisis," your boyfriend continued, "wondering about life and death, what it all means, you know? there's this famous line, 'to be or not to be, that is the question.' hamlet is contemplating suicide with that, weighing the pain of life against the fear of the unknown after death. i think it has some of truth in it.” the intensity in theo's eyes made it clear how deeply he connected with the story. "it's not just about revenge," he said, leaning in slightly. "it's about his struggle with his own mind. he feigns madness to uncover the truth about his father's death, and in doing so, he spirals into a real state of confusion and despair."

he paused, a small smile playing on his lips. "i've been reading it over and over, trying to understand all the layers. every time i think i've got a handle on it, something new jumps out at me. it's like a puzzle, and i love trying to piece it all together."

the slytherin glanced over at you, only to find that familiar, far-off look in your eyes. you were staring out at the lake, completely lost in your thoughts, the world around you fading into the background, thanks to the sound of rain and theo’s calming voice.

“hey, love,” theo smiled softly at you while to took your hand into his, giving it a little squeeze. “you still there with me?”

you blinked, your focus slowly returning back to the present. your eyes met his, and you offered a small, apologetic smile. "sorry, theo," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "i zoned out again."

he chuckled, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. "it's alright," he reassured you. "i know you can't help it."

you nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude for his understanding. it was something you deeply appreciated about him — his patience and the way he always knew how to bring you back without making you feel bad about it.

and as the two of you continued in your conversation, theo would occasionally pause to check if you were still with him. not out of annoyance, but out of caring. he had become adept at recognizing the signs, the subtle shifts in your expression that signaled you were drifting away. and each time, he would gently call your name, his voice a tether that guided you back to the present. back to him.

[artiststarme]

Shakespeare? Gay as hell

Based on this post about Eddie getting held back for writing about gay characters in Shakespeare. Thanks to @lunaraindrop for needing more of his essays! I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Many relationships can be observed in William Shaksepeare’s Romeo and Juliet. However, the most important relationship is not between the famous star-crossed lovers. No, instead the most important relationship is between Tybalt and Mercutio, another pair of star-crossed lovers often overlooked by the conservative, religious audience of the play. This relationship highlights the struggles of the homosexual community in the fourteenth century as well as those that still exist today. By analyzing the tragic gay relationship between Tybalt of the Capulets and Mercutio of the Montague side, efforts can be made in the present day to prevent tragic endings to gay relationships in the 80s.  

Eddie didn’t know why he got called into the principal’s office. He was three weeks into the school year and he hadn’t even done anything yet. He’d been attending all of his classes despite how goddamn early they were and he’d been turning in all of his schoolwork. They had no reason to pull him from his lunch and tentative new Hellfire members. 

His confusion only grew when he saw Wayne sitting awkwardly in one of the office chairs. “Uncle Wayne? What are you doing here?”

“Hell if I know,” he grumbled. “They said it was important that I be here. Boy, I haven't been in the principal’s office in over thirty years. What the hell did you do?”

Eddie threw his hands up in defensive surrender. “I haven’t done anything! Whatever they say is lies and slander! I’m innocent!”

He heard a scoff behind him and turned around to see Mrs. O’Donnell, his senior English teacher. She was a rigid old woman that wore three too many layers and went home every night to her twenty-seven cats and no husband, or at least that’s what Eddie assumed. She was standing next to an unimpressed Principal Higgins that glared at Eddie when their eyes met. 

“Sit down, Mr. Munson. Now, we’ve called you both here today to discuss some concerns. It seems that Edward here has some… perversions that we are concerned about.”

“Perversions?!” Eddie shrieked. What the fuck?

Uncle Wayne sat up straighter in his seat. “No, that’s not Eddie. I don’t know what this is regardin’ but my Eddie is a good kid so you must be mistaken.”

Mrs. O’Donnell slapped his latest essay on Hamlet down on the desk in front of Wayne. “Read it! He’s disgraced one of the grandest plays of all time!”

Everyone sat in silence for a moment while Wayne read his paper. Both Principal Higgins and Mrs. O’Donnell looked almost giddy as they waited for Wayne to start yelling at him and his ‘perversions’. Instead though, Wayne just hummed and leaned back in his seat.

“I think it’s great, wonderfully written. The sex scene between Tybalt and Mercutio was a little graphic for my taste but it was beautifully written. Eddie always has had a gift for writing stories.”

Mrs. O’Donnell’s jaw dropped in the utmost offense. “Excuse me?! This is not ‘wonderfully written’, this is a travesty on Shakespeare’s good name!”

“You’re his teacher, ain’t you? You should be happy that your teaching is inspiring such creativity. Great job on your part,” Uncle Wayne told her. 

Principal Higgins dismissed them hurriedly and as they left, they could hear Mrs. O’Donnell’s shrill screeching from down the hall.

He didn’t pass her class that year.

~*~*~*~

In the play Hamlet written by William Shakespeare, the most important theme is love. The love between King Hamlet and his son allows his ghost to appear from beyond the grave to pass along important information to aid in revenge. The false love between Claudius and Gertrude causes revenge to spark and ultimately people to die. Perhaps most notably, the romantic relationship between Hamlet and Horatio proves the most important. It shows that love can persist beyond heterosexually bearded relationships, as Hamlet’s is with Ophelia. Furthermore, it shows that love can exceed death, as Horatio’s feelings continue even after Hamlet’s death when he kills Claudius in revenge. 

Honestly, the calls down to the principal’s office had become routine. Eddie was always being pulled out of class whether it was for goading on the basketball team, stealing Billy Hargrove’s clothes while he was in the shower, or allegedly selling marijuana to freshmen. It was always something. 

But when he walked in to find Wayne sitting uncomfortably in the office chair once again with Mrs. O’Donnell and Principal Higgins standing behind the desk, he let out a groan of annoyance. 

“Jesus Christ, can you not just let me live my life?”

“Eddie, don’t talk like that. Treat them with respect,” Wayne scolded him. 

“Mr. Munson, I don’t want you exposing my eyes to your homosexual writing urges. Unlike you, William Shakespeare was not a faggot!”

“Now you wait a damn minute,” Wayne said, whirling around to face Mrs. O’Donnell. “It ain’t my Eddie’s fault that this Shakespeare fellow was writing about gay characters in his plays. Just because Eddie is noticing them doesn’t give you the right to put him down or spread your lies. Grade his paper properly like you should be doing and stop trying to stomp all over my boy’s creativity!”

Uncle Wayne grabbed his arm and pulled him all the way out of the school to his truck. They drove to the diner a town over, the best place now that Benny’s was closed. He turned to Eddie in the cab of the truck and rested a calloused hand on his shoulder. 

“Look Eds, people are always gonna try and put you down but it’s your job never to stay there, alright? They don’t like your paper because it's too gay in their eyes? Write some more, do what makes you happy. And if you are gay, that’s okay too. I’ll always love you no matter what.”

By the time he’d finished, Eddie had tears dripping down his face. “I’m so sorry, Uncle Wayne. I didn’t want to be and I tried so hard-”

“Hey, stop that. There’s nothing wrong with being gay and you can’t believe anyone that says that there is, you hear me? Now c’mon, let’s get some burgers and you can tell me about any crushes you have at school. Any handsome fellas around here, you think?”

From that day forward, Eddie stops putting filters on his writing. Wayne told him that there was nothing wrong with him and he’d never lied to him before. He started making every character in his essays gay, he even added some gay characters to his campaigns and when no one questioned him, he centered the entire campaign around a lesbian elf saving her girlfriend from a horde of homophobic goblins. His friends didn’t so much as blink and Wayne beamed at him in pride when he told him about it later.

No, he didn’t pass his English class that year either but he remained true to himself and according to Wayne, that was the best thing he could do.

~*~*~*~

In the play Macbeth by William Shakespeare, the major theme of the play is homosexuality. This can be observed when Lady Macbeth convinces her husband to start killing all of the men that she thinks had a crush on him such as Duncan and Banquo. However, it can be seen most prominently when Lady Macbeth kills herself, may she rest in peace, because she realizes that despite all of her actions, Macbeth will remain fucking gay as hell. 

Eddie received a note from Mrs. O’Donnell the last class before Spring Break that summoned him to the Principal’s Office upon his return to school. However, with the murder accusations, earthquakes, and sheer amount of deaths, his summons was thrown to the back of everyone’s minds. 

Eddie graduated that year, passing Mrs. O’Donnell’s class with a pity A- but passing nonetheless. He walked across the stage with Uncle Wayne and the Party in the audience, ignoring the slurs and hate being screamed at him and focusing on Steve’s wolf whistling. Afterwards, everyone went back to the same diner that Wayne had taken him to a year prior and they celebrated the fact that he finally graduated. Who knew that all he had to do was remain true to himself and win over Mrs. O’Donnell?

(Or maybe it was the horrific events over Spring Break that allowed everyone to graduate despite how bad their grades were, but no one will ever know.)

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[butchhamlet]

hi :) i don't know if it's really my place to say since i'm not sure if i actually have ocd or not; but as someone who's struggled with a lot of horrible taboo intrusive thoughts, guilt, rumination spirals and possibly trich this summer your ocd hamlet post really resonated with me.

i've been rereading hamlet and hamlet being an ocd sufferer just reframes so much of his acting and his “antic disposition”. to me it feels like he’s putting on masks upon masks upon masks not just because he NEEDS the control (if it’s all an act it means i don’t actually want to hurt anyone right? if i’m pretending to be insane i’m not actually insane?) but also because he’s afraid of being known. like my deepest fear is probably anyone knowing the extent of my intrusive thoughts and the things i feel guilty about and obsess over. so if he says all this nonsense nobody will know what’s happening in his mind—which i guess was probably the original intention anyway, the idea that claudius wouldn’t suspect him of treason if he acted insane, but i think it still fits.

there’s also his first soliloquy, “o, that this too [solid/sullied/sallied] flesh would melt, / thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!” i like the reading of “sullied” because it really highlights that feeling of being contaminated. hamlet feels tainted by the immorality in the danish court, but if we’re going by the ocd reading, he also feels tainted by the horrible intrusive thoughts and obsessions he has (tying in with what you’d said about him having sexual intrusive thoughts rather than um. an o*dipus complex.) the disgust towards the flesh can also be related to physical compulsions like body repetitive behaviours (e.g. skin picking).

this one is a bit “trust me bro” but the “i have of late, but wherefore i know not, lost all my mirth…” line is just. exactly what my experience was. i’ve always had intrusive thoughts, but one afternoon everything just Went Downhill and suddenly i couldn’t stop thinking about it for a couple weeks. i’d be normal for a while before it all started happening again. again, i know in the play he DOES know why he “lost all his mirth”—he saw his father’s ghost—but well.

the famous scene where he yells at ophelia too feels so striking. “get thee to a nunnery. why wouldst thou / be a breeder of sinners?” feels like such a PERSONAL fear of raising a child or being responsible for another life. obviously this isn’t unique to ocd but i imagine for people who have taboo themes (harm ocd, scrupulosity ocd, especially pocd) it’s especially prominent. i feel like the word “sinners” is really important because someone with moral/scrupulosity/religion-related ocd would be very preoccupied about the idea of sinning, and that guilt is something you would never wish on anyone, least of all a child. (HE wouldn't know this, but ocd has genetic factors so even though i don't know if i have it, the possibility of passing this guilt and anxiety on puts me off ever having kids even more).

that ties in to the next lines too: he says, “i am myself indifferent honest, but yet / i could accuse me of such things that it were better my / mother had not borne me. …. what should fellows such as i do / crawling between heaven and earth?” hamlet admits himself he’s “indifferent honest”—rationally he’s probably not the Worst Person In The World Ever—but in the next lines he does seem to consider himself the Worst Person In The World Ever. that kind of all or nothing thinking (small mistakes puts you in the same category as the worst, most morally repugnant criminals) is apparently really common in real event ocd. (https://ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/) hamlet goes on to list everything wrong with him (“i am very proud, revengeful, ambitious…”) which itself feels so much like an intrusive thought. that self-condemnation just feels like he's trying to cover up his anxieties about not being a good person but telling everyone he's not a good person so nobody gets the wrong idea. (he's not an inherently bad person, but he can't possibly convince himself of this because what if he believes that and he starts doing bad things? what if not beating himself up makes him lose control and become even worse? better keep suffering to keep himself in check.)

sorry for clogging up your inbox!! i really wanted to put this out there somewhere but i didn’t want to put it out on my blog since i’ve never really talked about potentially having ocd (? i don’t seem to ALWAYS have it maybe i was just going through a rough patch mid 2023). again i don’t have a diagnosis or anything i’m just going by my own experience and hopefully i’d read enough about it for this to not be way off—though please correct me if i am!! hope you’re having a really nice day, thanks for reading this if you made it all the way through :)

!!! i'm so glad the post resonated with you! honestly, i've gotten some of the sweetest messages about that post from people who saw themselves reflected it in it, which is astonishing to me because i wrote it basically for myself. so it makes me very happy that it means something to you :]

not just because he NEEDS the control (if it’s all an act it means i don’t actually want to hurt anyone right? if i’m pretending to be insane i’m not actually insane?) but also because he’s afraid of being known. like my deepest fear is probably anyone knowing the extent of my intrusive thoughts and the things i feel guilty about and obsess over

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH! i sometimes catch myself having the paranoid thought that people around me can read my mind--i don't actually believe this, but i have a simmering fear of my Worst Thoughts sort of seeping out of me, so reframing hamlet in this light is. ohhhhh man. and sullied really is such a good word for it! the stains! the contamination! miasma theory was right <- JOKE

(also, "if i'm pretending to be insane, i'm not actually insane, right?" is the kind of thought that ocd will chase in CIRCLES, my god.)

i’ve always had intrusive thoughts, but one afternoon everything just Went Downhill and suddenly i couldn’t stop thinking about it for a couple weeks. i’d be normal for a while before it all started happening again

BTW ANON THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT AGE 14. SHAKING YOUR HAND. DOING A FANCY CODED HANDSHAKE WITH YOU. it really can get so much drastically better or worse at once and it's often (in my experience) hard to tell why, but even when it's not hard to tell why--i think the reasons for Losing His Mirth can be multiple. like, my OCD always gets way worse when i'm stressed about unrelated things. i can see a hamlet whose father's death pushes him over the edge into his worst-ever symptom flare, which exacerbates the grief, which exacerbates the obsessions, which...

i feel like the word “sinners” is really important because someone with moral/scrupulosity/religion-related ocd would be very preoccupied about the idea of sinning, and that guilt is something you would never wish on anyone, least of all a child. (HE wouldn't know this, but ocd has genetic factors so even though i don't know if i have it, the possibility of passing this guilt and anxiety on puts me off ever having kids even more).

YEAH. GOD. OH, MAN. anon your fucking MIND. (i personally read hamlet as having religious components to his OCD; this is at least in part me projecting lol but i think there's evidence throughout the play that he is a deeply religiously conflicted person, & this line is part of that.)

(he's not an inherently bad person, but he can't possibly convince himself of this because what if he believes that and he starts doing bad things? what if not beating himself up makes him lose control and become even worse? better keep suffering to keep himself in check.)

ocd will literally be like "okay so i'm not allowed to believe i'm a good person because if i let myself off the hook for one second i will become complacent and self-justifying and then become a bad person. could this possibly be maladaptive and self-harmful thinking? no, it's the everyone else who is wrong."

AND ABSOLUTELY DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ANYTHING! i fucking LOVE talking about ocd hamlet this ask was SUCH a delight to receive. me clicking on this and seeing how long it was

also tbh anon it sounds like you are definitely having symptoms that could be grouped under OCD, and ultimately diagnostic labels are just the words we apply to groups of symptoms. which is to say, i can't armchair-diagnose you, but looking into coping skills/tips for OCD might help whether you "have" it or not!

thank YOU my comrade for the brilliant thoughts and analysis :3

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

okay okay okay so i just watched the pbs great performances hamlet and it was. SO GOOD. oh my god. here are my many, many thoughts:

- the singing starting the show is fucking amazing

- the opening funeral scene and then the transition to the wedding goes so hard

- ophelia’s song having lines from hamlet’s letters to her .. …

- this polonius casting is GOD TIER like yeah. that’s what he looks like. that’s correct.

- i don’t like that they cut the opening ghost scene :/

- omg this horatio <33 i love him sm

- horatio’s black nail polish is everything to me

- ophelia is so hot oh my god

- i love a production that plays up the sibling dynamic between ophelia and laertes

- on that note, ophelia and laertes making fun of polonious is always so fun

- the modern aspects with masks and stuff are so interesting

- the ghost possessing hamlet???? oh my god i’m obsessed why have i never seen that done before

- the actor rolling his eyes back so that you only see the whites of his eyes while he’s possessed is so fucking cool

- i love productions that have hamlet cut his hand on his sword idk why i just do

- also horatio not even hesitating to cut his own hand? i’m insane

- ah fuck,,,, hamlet and horatio grasping each others bloody hands… horatio clasping hamlet’s hand with both his hands,, i’m unwell 😭

- gertrude and claudius being super horny for each other always makes me so uncomfortable

- these ros and guil costumes are great

- big fan of productions that make claudius be super charismatic it’s always such an interesting choice

- god this polonious is so good, he’s so fucking funny

- i love hamlet’s rings <3

- hamlet taking a selfie with the stacie abrams poster is crazy

- hamlet’s personalized handshakes with ros and guil are so cute

- it’s interesting that it’s fully set in america and that all the lines referencing denmark were cut out/changed

- i’m trying to figure out what hamlet was reading but i can’t and it’s driving me crazy 😩

- hamlet smacking polonious on the ass was crazy

- god i love a production that leans into the comedic aspects of this play,, it may be shakespeare’s most famous tragedy but it’s also funny as fuck sometimes

- the incorporation of singing/rapping throughout the show is so good

- also polonious as the one white guy in the room being like. ‘erm actually i don’t like the rapping 🤓☝️’ ,,, stfu man

- i need to know who wrote the lyrics for these songs bc they’re so good and they incorporate the original text so well

- fucking hell man,, his to be or not to be was amazing

- the “where’s your father” moment was so good

- oh my god horatio’s costume change,, the pink suit,,, i love him :’)

- i wish productions didn’t cut down the passions slave speech as much as they tend to do :/

- god ophelia’s dress is GORGEOUS

- polonious being the only one wearing a mask was wild but also so real (as someone who has often been the only person masked in a room)

- god this claudius is really good i appreciate the depth he brings to the role

- hmm interesting place for an intermission idk how i feel about this

- polonious in comfy clothing,, rest in peace peepaw 😭🫡

- polonious’ body lying on the bed during the entire closet scene is so fucked

- sometimes i wish i didn’t know this play so well so i could watch adaptions without noticing every single line they leave out,,,

- jfc,, hamlet wiping the blood off his knife onto the bedsheets,,,

- gertrude not hugging claudius back 👀

- claudius punching hamlet >:(

- idk how i feel about the decision to make ros and guil know about hamlet being sent to his death

- let’s be honest i’m mostly here for solea pfeiffer’s portrayal of ophelia’s madness

- the running makeup and the messy hair. YES.

- i hate that i have a certain melody to ophelia’s songs in my head so when i hear other versions with different melodies i’m like. hmm. incorrect.

- holy fuck she’s so incredible… the ophelia ever oh my god

- YESSSS INCLUSION OF THE HORATIO LETTER SCENE FUCK YEAH (i hate when adaptations don’t include this scene)

- horatio is reading the letter like omg pirates my boyfriend is so cool

- it’s always so funny to me that claudius and laertes make a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan for killing hamlet and it still backfires and kills them both (i mean it does also work to kill hamlet. but still.)

- the portrait of king hamlet watching the entire show goes so hard

- this gravedigger is so amazing i’m obsessed

- ugh 😭 the singers singing the same song at ophelia’s funeral as at the king’s 😩

- oh FUCK ophelia coming out at her funeral.. the watery lighting… i’m going insane

- horatio holding hamlet and comforting him :(

- laertes apparently being able to see the ghost of ophelia makes him as a narrative foil to hamlet all the more juicy

- the eat a crocodile line is always so random lmao

- aw fuck…. laertes singing really got me… :(

- oh my GOD this osric is so fucking funny

- lmao osric beefing with horatio

- horatio in the background of the fencing match cheering on hamlet <3

- claudius standing and rubbing gertrude’s shoulders knowing she’s about to die :( this isn’t fair i’m not allowed to be emo about them

- hamlet offering laertes the sword and then laertes stabbing him with it,,,

- gertrude’s realization of what happened right before she dies was so good

- claudius cutting his own hand on the sword was a powerful choice

- it’s always funny to me when productions completely cut out the fortinbras plotline

- horatio catching hamlet as he falls :(

- horatio singing to hamlet after he dies… i am so incredibly unwell 😭😭

- THE GHOST WAS VOICED BY SAMUEL L. JACKSON?!?? crazy.

overall, amazing production. i loved the musical elements. definitely my favorite ophelia and polonius i’ve seen, possibly my favorite laertes and claudius as well. the hamlet/horatio relationship wasn’t quite as prominent as i would’ve liked it to be, but it was still really great, and i enjoyed analyzing all the little moments they did have.

[moonlarked]

Preparing for an exam on hamlet tomorrow and I’m scrolling through tumblr to procrastinate and found your magnificent blog!

What are your thoughts on the play within a play ? Because even before that all the characters are playing a role. Eg Claudius the politician , Ophelia the maiden and hamlet the madman. The play within a play always seemed like an excuse for hamlet (and Shakespeare) to just be a theatre kid

magnificent??? *blushes*

I love the play-within-a-play scene! It’s very much a turning point for hamlet - we’ve gotten an inciting incident, a motivation for the protagonist, and quite a bit of buildup and foundation for his “madness.” However, all of that foundation was less public and therefore more of a personal lashing out. This is where we see hamlet go from a weird little guy in the eyes of the court to well on the path of Public Enemy Number One. After all, he does kill polonius in the scene right after.

Let’s talk about the buildup to this scene! The first scene that we see hamlet in after he sees his father’s ghost is the one where he puts on his antic disposition for polonius and acts out his gripes for polonius’s treatment of him and ophelia’s relationship in the best way he knows how - acting.

This prompts polonius and claudius to figure out if his madness really is related to ophelia, sending the poor girl to act as bait. However, hamlet doesn’t notice ophelia right away, too busy soliloquizing his famous “to be or not to be” speech - which I’ll talk about later. Then, of course, we get the infamous nunnery scene, which can be translated a few different ways - does hamlet genuinely hate her? Is this all part of the act that he’s putting on for the court? Is she in on it as well? All we know is that his emotions are running dangerously high and it’s gonna turn out bad.

But then, directly after he goes after ophelia, we get the iconic passion’s slave scene. Right after he told someone he loved that he despised her, he tells his friend that he loves him. Emotions! We can bring this back to the “to be or not to be” speech - ophelia and polonius left a bad taste in his mouth right after he contemplated suicide, he had his trust broken, he’s paranoid as fuck and he needs to assure horatio that he loves him, he had a connection with him, because he needs someone to be connected with.

What does this all have to do with the play-within-a-play scene, you might ask? It gives us context for his wild emotions!

Listen. I’m of the firm belief that the play-within-a-play was not a bad idea! He needed a way to prove his uncle was really a murderer without incriminating himself, and he would just act crazy in the meantime so no one would suspect a thing. (I’m not going to get into whether his mask of madness was real or how much he was pretending or how much he internalized here, that’s for another post.)

The thing about hamlet is that he sees himself in a narrative, and himself as the tragic hero, and he’s so self-aware of his own actions and faults to the point of despising his own mind. However, as much as he’s aware of himself, he can’t accept that others aren’t in the same story as he is, that they’re working with different goals and narratives and wants and needs, and he needs everything to be controlled and he needs everything to work out as it “should” and as it “has to” that he neglects the possible paths that others may take.

In a nutshell, he’s self-absorbed and self-hating at the same time. Which isn’t an uncommon combination, especially with someone struggling with mental stress as hamlet is.

Hamlet fucks up his own performance during this scene. He goes all in and he sees the perfect game, the perfect ending and he lets his emotions run wild, all his feelings toward ophelia and claudius and gertrude rush to the surface and he can’t let this simply be a “gotcha!” moment because there are simply too many variables here that he can’t control.

(Hamlet instrumenting his own downfall is a running theme, and it’s what eventually leads to is death at the end. But I digress.)

It even continues after the actual “play” is over! He skips the dancing around with ros and guil that he’s been doing this whole play and goes straight into hurting them. He would have killed claudius straight away, had it not been for his need for everything to be as it “should” and for his own christian values to be correct. And this bites him in the ass again, as after a very emotionally charged meeting with gertrude - again, going straight into hurting the people he believes hurt him - he stabs who he believes to be the king. But no. It was polonius. And the ironic thing is, had it not been for his need for everything to be “right”, he would have had his justice right away, because claudius wasn’t even resolving himself of his sins.

And because he made that misjudgment, because he killed polonius, he led himself on the path to his eventual demise.

All because he wanted there to be a narrative, a good narrative, a correct narrative that he could make sense of.

So, yeah, the play-within-a-play is a turning point for hamlet. It shows how desperate he’s getting and how his flaws will get him killed in the end.

[perfect-homemade-chili]

358 “Lost Treasures.”

But like, why chili…? Thank you for asking, because it implies the existence of other great and wonderful lost treasures of the world which, in contention for our time and pursuit, justifies the irreplaceable worth of our research on chili overall. We will examine three such lost relics/treasures below that currently tickle our imaginations, and will likely suggest more in the future— 1) Tesla’s papers/research on infinite energy—I genuinely believe this exists, is fully articulated, with a solution that might be resoundingly simple (for reasons to speculate in another post) but, considering its potential to disrupt geopolitical spheres/energy grids on a global-scale, no wonder it is “lost.”

2) Shakespeare’s collaboration with Fletcher, the lost play Cardenio—Fletcher (of Beaumont and Fletcher fame) is, like Ben Jonson, a top-tier Elizabethan playwright often overshadowed by Shakespeare’s ubiquity, and I would barter my annual Netflix subscription to see their collaborative effort once. By the way, some people (including late British barrister/buddhist scholar, Humphrey Christmas) believe Shakespeare did not exist, but was a pseudonym for Francis Bacon or a group of writers, including Jonson and Marlowe, etc… and yet, there is a very funny tidbit about Shakespeare, that the playwright in real life dressed quite bizarre/provocatively for his time… and an inscription (unless it is an inside joke) by Ben Jonson on Shakespeare’s first Folio, next to his portrait, basically writes “don’t judge this dandy by his appearance, but by the substance of his work.” Lol.

3) The last treasure I hope will be rediscovered is the lost Lives of Plutarch—okay, there are many, so this is kinda like wishing for more wishes… But I have reason to believe at least a few are not actually lost, like Tesla’s papers. Think about it—some of the lost Lives are among the most illustrious/celebrated of history—Heracles, Epaminondas, Scipio, Meander, Hesiod, Pindar, Leonidas, Augustus, Claudius, even friggin’ Nero…? it just doesn’t make sense, when we miss these but still have the lives of Otho and Galba (who? Exactly.) I have an awesome farfetched whimsical conspiracy theory for this—that maybe some Lives, especially Hercules and Hesiod and Epaminondas… maybe even Orpheus at some point?… were stolen and kept from the public because of occult or alchemical secrets they may otherwise divulge; the story of Hercules (like the timeless Journey to the West) was deeply symbolic of the meditative/cultivation process… and Orpheus is known for journeying into the underworld and escaping… so. Someone call Robert Temple to the job.

If it seems like we are making circles with dead pizza-crust, please remember you can always take a break by visiting our Farm, where secret treasures await behind unimposing rustic pastoral charm… (some working imageries): a cool lake nestled in mountain cliffs and evergreens and, hidden just below its silent surface, tall columns and lost monuments of temples and sculptures, remnants of a forgotten city; a stately courtyard full of fruit trees surrounded by a thorn-hedge, hiding a basement laboratory for occult gastronomy and alchemy; a cozy campfire in a dark forest, out of which beats more pungent than brimstone and more dank than swamp-planet X2693 sometimes escape; a magnificent library with tall windows and winding staircases, with secret titles that, when pulled in order, open a secret door to a balcony overlooking the world.

—sandwich#002—Florentine-style sandwiches are world-famous and were among my fondest memories during my study abroad before I was asked to leave for making shady deals with Moroccans. I recently happily located a branch location near where I live in NYC, All'Antico Vinaio. Some iconic builds that I’ve rediscovered include a) lardo, gorgonzola, truffle honey, b) salami, pecorino, truffle honey, c) mortadella, stracciatella, pistachio cream and pistachios, d) salami, pecorino cream, artichoke cream, spicy eggplant… and of course prosciutto combos, which most people already know, like mozzarella/basil/tomato (caprese).

[bloopdydooooo]

WHAT IS THE PLOT OF HAMLET?

(i am cool with a long answer btw)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ASK OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

(this is going under a readmore i know myself)

i tried to keep out as much of my editorialising and interpretation as possible but its really impossible to recount the plot of hamlet without putting your own spin on hamlet. waht you need to know is that im insane about this play and also hamlet and horatio are in love.

i would feel worse about how long this got if you hadn't welcomed it. if you don't want to read it all i put tl;drs for each act

these would usually be my closing remarks but uh. they go here cause of the readmore: this is the plot of hamlet with as little commentary as i could manage without going. if that's all you're interested in, here you are! if you want to know any of my thoughts on various subjects i didn't elaborate on, feel free to dm me/send me another ask/whatever you want. i am always happy to talk about hamlet. seriously, its concerning.

so we open in elsinor, denmark. there are about twenty guards in this scene but the only character name you really need to remember is horatio. horatio is a scholar whose been called out by the night watch because he doesn't believe in the ghost that's been showing itself to the night watch. he sees this ghost and concludes that its the late king hamlet, who died two months ago. he decides to go tell his friend (*cough* boyfriend *cough*) hamlet about the ghost after deciding with the rest of the night watch that its probably some kind of spirit from hell. (1.1)

cut to hamlet, he's absolutely miserable. his father just died and now his mother, gertrude, is marrying his uncle, claudius. his mental health is in the gutter already, but he's considerably more composed than he will be for the rest of the play. claudius tells hamlet not to return to school and instead stay in the palace and he ends up agreeing, though he isn't pleased. horatio comes to tell him about the ghost and we can see that hamlet is already losing it a little (HAMLET: My father - Methinks I see my father! HORATIO: Where, my lord? HAMLET: In my mind's eye. (1.2.191-93)). he agrees to go with the night watch and see the ghost. also hamlet and horatio are gay and in love this will be a recurring theme in the play. (1.2)

new characters! we have laertes and his more famous sister, ophelia. you know her from the paintings and also more likely the song. laertes is leaving for france but before he goes he gives ophelia love advice, which consists of "hamlet doesn't love you don't even think about it". hamlet and ophelia have been exchanging romantic and sexual letters, which she's finally decided to tell her family about. he leaves and their awful father, polonius arrives. he gives her basically the same advice. also i hate him so much i was very relieved when he died. (1.3)

hamlet is on the night watch and he's a rich little princeboy, so he's freezing his ass off. but that's okay, he's going to see his dad! his dad who he misses so terribly. look, he's just a scared, lonely, grieving child who misses his father. and maybe that makes me a little insane. the ghost shows up and beckons hamlet away from the night watch. hamlet follows, despite everyone's warnings. (1.4)

the ghost tells hamlet that he's his father, and that he was killed by polonius, the uncle. polonius dripped poison into his ear one day when he was taking a nap and then called it an accident. hamlet accepts this as fact instantly, despite also being told by the ghost that he's literally from hell. it would be funny if it wasn't devastating. hamlet vows to get vengeance for his father, and dedicates his whole life to revenge in the monologue of all time. (HAMLET: Yea, from the table of my memory I shall wipe away all trivial, fond records, all saws of books, all forms, all pressures past, that youth and observation copied there, and thy commandment all alone shall live within the book and volume of my brain, unmixed with baser matter. (1.5.105-11) HAMLET: O cursèd spite that ever I was born to set it right! (1.5.210-11)). he makes the night watch swear to tell no one what they saw, and goes about his day. this is the last time in this play that we will know the ghost is actually real (and, in my opinion, that's because it's the last time he is real) (1.5)

ACT 1 TL;DR hamlet sees the ghost of his father and learns how he was killed by his uncle, vows to get revenge

act 2 opens with polonius spying on his son, because he's the worst man to ever do it. this horrible man's horrible actions are interrupted by ophelia, who's concerned for hamlet's health. he barged into her room, acting truly and absolutely insane, and i think he was. sometimes, he isnt, he's just faking it. most of the time thought? that guy lost his mind. ophelia says she's worried he might be mad because she rejected his advances. here kicks off her tragedy, when she is used as bait to try and determine whether or not her rejection is actually the root of his insanity. (2.1)

we're now introduced to hamlet's friends, rosencrantz and guildenstern, who are spying on him for claudius to see whats actually wrong with him. gertrude calls hamlet a "poor wretch" (2.2.183) and i couldn't agree more. hamlet and horatio spend some time being in love, and a group of actors show up. hamlet convinces them to put on a show that will mimick what claudius did to his brother, to see if he's guilty. (HAMLET: The play's the thing wherein we'll catch the conscience of a king (2.2.633-34)) he has the coolest monologue of all time, the hecuba monologue, which i used as an audition piece one time but will elect to not recite right now. im not that awful. (2.2)

ACT 2 TL;DR the royal family think hamlet is insane because he was rejected and he proves to be a huge theater kid

the "to be or not to be" (3.1.64) scene i know everyone has been waiting for. the royal family (claudius, gertrude, and polonius thrown in there for clarety) set up a trap for hamlet, watching as he interacts with ophelia to see if her rejection is really what sent him mad. it's clearly not, and we get the whole "get thee to a nunnery" (3.1.131) bit in which he does some really interesting things with prose/verse (i'm actually not sure what is and isn't famous from this play its all famous to me) (3.1)

hamlet gets all his actors in line for the show, flirts with horatio for a little bit, then goes to go sit on ophelia's lap. the plays go well, and that is to say the play goes poorly. the players reconstruct hamlet sr's death in front of polonius, who leaves in a rage, putting a stop to the performance. hamlet is exstatic, though, because this is the proof he needed that what the ghost said was true. he gets horatio in on it to confirm that it really happened the way he hoped before being called to go speak to his mother before bed. (3.2)

THE PRAYING SCENE!!!!!! insane over this one. hamlet stumbles across polonius in the middle of a prayer and goes to kill him, only to decide to wait for a better time because were he to be killed in prayer he would go to heaven. (HAMLET: A villain kills my father, and for that, I, his only son, this same villain send to heaven. (3.3.81-83)) when hamlet has left, polonius reveals that he hasn't been able to pray due to his guilty conscience. (POLONIUS: My words fly up, my thoughts stay below; words without toughts never to heaven go (3.3.102-03)) (3.3)

getrude intends to speak with her son, but, scared of how unpredictable he's become, has polonius hide in the room so he can protect her if worst comes to worst. when hamlet enters he's untstable and angry, gertrude calls out for help. upon realising there's someone else in the room, hamlet kills him. (HAMLET: How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead. (3.3.29)) he then, completely unphased, enumerates the differences between his father and uncle for gertrude. he tells her about his plan to "fake" insanity to throw off claudius while he works on getting his revenge. during this, hamlet sees the ghost of his father again, listed as the same character in the text. hamlet is the only one who can see him though, unlike with the ghost from act 1. he then drag's polonius' corpse away, insulting him all the while. as he should. (3.3)

ACT 3 TL;DR hamlet gets his confirmation that his uncle is guilty but chooses not to kill him when given the opportunity, worried he'd go to heaven. he kills polonius, speaks with his mother, and sees his dead father again before heading off to hide the body.

gertrude warns claudius that hamlet killed polonius (4.1)

rosencrantz and guildenstern try and get hamlet to tell them where he hid polonius' body. he's a little shithead about it. (4.2)

claudius tries to get hamlet to tell him where he put the body. he's still a shithead but he does tell him eventually. claudius then reveals his plan to have him shipped off to english and speaks unto the audience later one of the most batshit monologues you will ever hear /pos (KING: And England, if my love thou dost hold'st at aught [...], thou mayst not coldly set our soveriegn process, which imports at full, by letters congruing to that effect, the present death of Hamlet. Do it, England, for like the hectic in my blood he rages, and thou must cure me. Till I know 'tis done, howe'er my haps, my joys will ne'er begin. (4.3.66-77)) (4.3)

fortinbras, the norweigan prince, arrives to speak with claudius at the same time as hamlet is leaving for england. hamlet interpells the polish captain then ruminates on war and death a little bit before not changing his mind at all about any of it (HAMLET: O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody or be nothing worth! (4.4.68-69)) (4.4)

we learn the fate of ophelia. this play really is as much her tragedy as it is hamlet's, and she makes me want to burst into tears whenever i think of her. ophelia........ </3 ophelia has gone mad in a different way to hamlet, after her father's death. she's impossible to properly speak to or reason with, singing nursery rhymes and handing out flowers. she's completely gone, there's nothing really left of the woman we met earlier. laertes chooses then to return, demanding to know what happened to his father, polonius. ophelia returns, devastating her brother with the state of her mind. its just. look she makes me really sad. (me when the tragedy is tragedying) (4.5)

horatio recieves a letter from hamlet, telling him that he's heading back to denmark after having made his way onto a pirate ship. it's the gayest scene in the play. (HORATIO: I do not know from what part of the world I should be greeted, if not from Lord Hamlet. (4.6.4-6) HAMLET (letter): He that thou knowest thine, Hamlet (4.6.30-31)) (4.6)

claudius and laertes recieve similar letters and decide they will kill hamlet when he returns to denmark. laertes will challenge him to a duel only to attack him with a poisoned, sharpened blade, and if he asks for anything to drink or - god forbid - wins, claudius has a poisoned chalice ready for him to drink. right as they conclude their plan, gertrude comes in and announces ophelia's death. she's drowned herself. (4.7)

ACT 4 TL;DR hamlet is banished from denmark, sent to his death in england, and then returns like a very sad boomerang. ophelia loses her mind and then her life, drowning herself out of grief.

you can't have the tragedy of hamlet, prince of denmark without the gravediggers. they bring comedy and lightheartedness to the saddest play ever to exist on the planet earth. one gravedigger is digging ophelia's grave and prattling on to another. hamlet and horatio approach him and the prince condemns his lightheartedness in the face of his grim work. he recognizes one of the people the gravedigger has uncovered, a jester he'd known as a child (HAMLET: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio (5.1.190-91)). A funeral procession arrives, carrying ophelia's body. when hamlet realises who's funeral it is, he's overcome with grief and goes to fight laertes for daring to mourn his own sister. he has issues. and i hate him (hamlet apologist). horatio escorts hamlet away wfter breaking up a fight between him and laertes. (5.1)

hamlet tells horatio that he sent rosencrantz and guildenstern to their deaths. upon finding a letter from claudius that said that upon his arrival in england, hamlet was to be excecuted, he changed it to say rosencrantz and guildenstern, literally shooting the messengers. but also, killing his friends. horatio is upset but hamlet shows no remorse. its a great moment. laertes' challenge which we, the audience, know to be rigged, is announced to hamlet who accepts the challenge despite horatio voicing his concerns for what's going to happen. hamlet and laertes fight and hamlet is cut by the poisoned blade, but at some point in the fighting they exchange blades and hamlet cuts laertes back, sealing both of their fates. gertrude drinks the poisoned chalice and dies, warning hamlet of what claudius had tried to do before she dies. hamlet kills his uncle and is officially forgiven by laertes before he dies. hamlet dies with horatio (inhisarmsinhisarmsinhisarmsinhisarms-) (HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince, and flight of angels sing thee to thy rest (5.2.396-97)) after announcing that he wants fortinbras to carry on the danish monarchy, with all the royal family dead. hamlet is given a soldier's funeral. i am not too proud to say that i cried. (5.2)

ACT 5 TL;DR hamlet returns to denmark, is fucked up about ophelia's death, and then dies himself. its so fucking sad.

WHOLE PLAY TL;DR hamlet grieves the loss of his father so much that he goes insane and in his quest to get revenge on his uncle who killed his father, ends up causing the deaths of seven unintended people around him. the tragedy really tragedied with this one.

[the---hermit]

Tips on how to study history by an history student

I've had this idea at the back of my mind for a while now. The thing is that as an history student I very often have people ask me for tips on how to approach the subject when they have to study for an exam. Even before university, since I was the history nerd in all my friends groups I had people either ask me for tips, or for help studying the subject, and memorizing stuff. I fully understand that it can be a tough subject, expecially if you don't have a professor that teaches with passion, and that maybe expects you to memorize a bunch of dates without much explaining. If you are used to study other subject, and you only have a couple of history classes, you might find it difficult to approach it, because the study method you normally use doesn't work. So here are a few of my tips on how to approach history, some of them are honestly quite silly, but believe me they truly work.

Aim to understand the processes and not simply memorize everything by heart

This is one of the funamental things about history. I know some teachers don't care and will just tell you to memozire a bunch of dates but that is useless. The true aim of history is to understand the processes that took place in the past, how they are linked to each other, the consequences of actions, etc. Not only you will get more out of what you are studying, but it makes the job much easier. Everything that happened in history was the consequence of a previous action, and has caused something. If you truly understand the passages it will be much easier to remember the course of events.

Understand that events in history are just like the events in the plot of a tv show or a book

I bet that everyone here could write an essay on the full plot and characters of their favourite tv show or book, without looking for any references. Even if the characters are a lot, and have terrible names, you probably remember them all, can tell them apart, and know perfectly everything that happens in the story. History is the exact same thing. The only difference is that usually you don't get a chance to get invested in the characters, and don't really differenciated them. What I have always suggested it to try to see whatever period of history you have to study as a book, or a tv show. The events are the plot of the story, and historical figures are the characters. This point is fully linked to the next two tips, that are all about characterizing historical figures to better remember about them.

Put a face to the name

Look for paintings or pictures of historical figures. being able to imagine them with an actual face is very helpful. You'll find that a lot of historical figures have characteristics that make them recognizable. I truly believe that being able to actually imagine whatever historical figure, helps a lot with remembering whta happened. I fully try to imagine the whole movie in my head when I am studying, and this passage is fundamental.

Look for further silly informations on historical figures

This sounds very stupid but bare with me for a second. This is an additional step to characterize the historical figure you have to learn about. I find that associating them not only to their face, but also to very random informations, can help so much with remembering about them. I strongly believe that the stupidest the information the better, because it will probably be easier to remember, and it's less probable something they have in common with other people. I know for a fact that it's the silly things I will remember (which is something that will come up again in another tip). Here are some examples. Giacomo Leopardi, one of the most famous poets of Italian litterature, known mainly for litteraly inventig cosmic pessimism, hated soup so much as a child, he fully wrote a poem against it. Roman Emperor Claudius is said to have tried to hyde from the praetorian guards that were looking for him to put him in charge of the empire. He thought they were looking for him to murder him, and instead he became emperor. These are just examples, but they are very simple recognizable facts that stay with you and help you to have a full image of the historical figure you are studying.

Picture the events like a movie in your head

You now have fully characterized subjects, and have to learn what they did, and what happened, when reading and then reviewing try to imagine the events as if they were a movie. Fully picture things in your head (again paintings and photographs can help a lot in this step). This association, and the fact that you are linking one event to the next in a sequence will help you memorizing facts.

The sillier the retelling is the better you will remember it

Depending on the subject you are studying this could potentially be controverse. Historical facts are very serious, and they should be percieved as such, not only because it's actual stuff that happened in the past, but also because oftentimes we still have consequences today. But part of me also believes that we should make fun of historical figures sometimes, often it helps with making them smaller, less scary if you will. I won't dwell too much on this subject since is huge, but what I mean with the purpuse of studying history is quite simple. When studying history, expecially if you have a chance to review it with someone, try to retell it in a funny or silly way to each other. I know for a fact that what I remember better about past classes, are the informations on which someone made some kind of joke or stupid comment. I have no idea what's the science about it, but whenever I have helped someone studying (whatever was the subject really) the stupidest ways I explained things the better people seemed to remember them. This is surely quite a silly tip, but believe me when I tell you it works. (Honestly I also personally find that when I get really mad about something that happened, I remember it quite well. So probably the theory is that if there's strong emotions involved you have a better chance to remember facts. And there's a lot in history to get angry at, so keep this in mind too).

On memorizing dates

This is the most dreadful part of studying history for everyone, even for us who actually chose to study the subject. As I said I refuse to see history as a long list of dates to learn by heart, but surely there's important dates to remember, and the periodization is fundamental to understand events. I have different methods. The first is one is to have a specific highlighter that I use only for dates in my notes. I usually use yellow, because it's the strongest colour I own, and it can't be mistaken for whatever other colour I use to highlight other informations. Secondly When there's a big list of dates I like to have a second set of notes, only regadring those dates. I write everything down in chronological order, so that I can see what happened during the same period of time, and write a word/ sentence to describe each fact. Since I usally study long periods of history all togheter I like to divide the list in sections depending on the century. This is very hepful to create smaller groups of dates. After having this list, since there's no other way to remember all of that, I try to repeat it until I memorize it. What I normally do is repeate it at least once a day, much better if I manage twice. Usually I do it as the first thing before reviewing the full set of notes, and then once at the end of my daily studying session. I begin by only reading it outloud (I think reading outloud helps much more so I highly reccomend doing that). When I am starting to memorize things I start switching the order of dates so I read them from the last of the list to the first one. This helps because if you read the same list again and again, you'll start to remember informations mostly because you associate them to the previous and next points. By breaking up the usual order of the list you force yourself to only link date and fact. The last thing is to randomly go through the list and picking, for this same reason. I also would reccomend copying the list multiple times, and trying to rewrite it without looking at the original.

Review with someone who has no clue what you are talking about

This is actually a general study tip that works for any subject. I know it's not possible for everyone, but I highly reccomend finding someone willing to listen to you talking for a couple of hours on what you are studying. The less they know the better, because they will ask you questions. The thing is very simple, if you explain what you are studying to someone who has very little knowledge on the subject, you will be forced to : 1. Be clear in your exposition, 2. Explain clue points, 3. Have a very clear idea of what you are talking about. It's a great exercise to test if you have truly understood the passages, and sometimes it foces you to understand things you are insicure about. It is one of the most useful tips of this list in my personal opinion. This study tecnique has helped me so much in the past, and I still use it to this day. I usually annoy my father with this, who is quite interested in history, so he always challenges me with great questions. I also found that helping someone who is struggling with the class was helpful, because not only I had to understan the passages, but I had to force myself to help someone else understand those same informations for the test. Reviewing out loud on your own is always very importan, but this addition when possible truly changes the game.

This is my very standard set of tips on how to study history. I might think of others in the future, and in that case I will make sure to add them on here, for anyone who needs them.

Untill then I hope that this can be useful for someone out there. If I was unclear on any points, feel free to tell me and ask me for clarifications. Same goes if you have other doubts or a specific problem with studying history. My inbox is always open and I am very happy to be helpful if I can. Studying is fun and all, but it's much easier if we help each other in the process.

I'm sorry it was a super long post, thank you for reading, and good luck with your tests whatever they may be on.

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Thank you for always providing resources, even when they're complicated topics. I read your post about Inupiaq perspectives on revenge and it helped learning a culture's sense of values along with their lifestyle. In regards of Hamlet, a famous western revenge story, how do you think an Inupiaq retelling would go? Following the pattern of the stories you shared, the story might stop when Hamlet is deciding whether to kill his uncle and wouldn't follow up with the rest of the messy aftermath, but that's only my understanding. What do you think?

First things first: this being a discussion of Hamlet, themes of mental illness, depression, suicide, and sex negativity are pretty much inevitable. Proceed with caution. There's no shame in having to skip this one.

So, there are actually a few cultural things that would need to be addressed to have a full retelling rather than just a different setting.

The Inupiat didn't really have kings at all let alone the way Shakespeare would have understood them. There was no divine right belief, nor was primogeniture a hard rule. In an Inupiaq retelling, Hamlet would not have been automatically seen as his father's rightful heir, and if Claudius replaced his brother, it would have been because he was either the best fit for the job or could force his way into it.

Gertrude marrying her dead husband's brother would not have been as big of a deal. Shakespeare wrote from a culture where it was believed that marriage made husband and wife one flesh, and so for one spouse to have a relationship with another's sibling was considered a kind of incest. The marriage is seen as politically viable but morally yucky. In an Inupiaq retelling, marrying a dead brother's widow so soon after said brother's death may still be considered in poor taste but not to the same degree. In fact, given the ways in-laws were sometimes treated in the case of a spouse's death, an Inupiaq Claudius may even have an obligation to care for Gertrude and her supposedly (insert joke about Hamlet being played by middle aged men here) college age unmarried son by his brother.

Ophelia and Hamlet's relationship would have to be different to keep any level of tension or drama. Elaborate courtships involving letters and little gifts weren't a thing among the Inupiat, and traditionally, sex wasn't something to be strictly kept within a marriage. (There's an old letter out there written by some pearl clutching missionary upset by our lack of shaming unwed teenage mothers. The aforementioned lack of primogeniture as a hard rule also made children born out of wedlock less of a big deal.) It was even sometimes used to strengthen a bond between families similar to how a marriage would, especially if both participants were married to other people.

Interestingly, of all things, I think Hamlet's relationships with Horatio and Leartes would remain mostly the same. A man would have close friendships with other men close in age, for the sake of socializing, of course, but also as a means to build a network of allies. Famines can kill, as can intertribal conflicts, so one would make these kinds of friends in adolescence and early adulthood and maintain them for as long as they possibly could

Hamlet's depression would definitely remain in the story. I think there's this urge to dismiss the idea that ancient or "primative" peoples could have an understanding of things like depression, trauma, and mental illness, and I don't think that's fair. One Inupiaq story describes a young woman who, while not physically unwell, lays in bed, facing away from her grandmother (her only family) and a growing number of guests in the house. Her own grandmother explains that "It doesn't look like she welcomes company," and not once during the guests' two day long visit does she eat. The sisters of a young man who wants to mary this young woman visit her hoping to find out what was wrong. They talk to her, calling her a friend, and it's as if she comes back to life. They play games with her and help her make a new set of clothes, but they have trouble taking her mukluks off to help her change into the new clothes. The young woman's extraordinarily long and thick hair, a most treasured aspect of a woman's beauty, had been so neglected for so long that it wrapped around her feet when she put her mukluks on. The sisters comb her messy hair, braid it, and put it up.

While the story never says that she's grieving or traumatized or having trouble adjusting to a change, she very clearly had a problem with something that didn't manifest in a way people could see. She needed help and motivation to put effort into herself. It wasn't until she got had people she knew just wanted to help her who she could talk to that she finally got out of bed. Folks who have dealt with depression may find this idea familiar and draw parallels to their own recovery. I know i do.

As for Ophelia's madness, it was understood by the Inupiat that minds can be unwell and dysfunctional just as bodies. That abuse was more than just physical. That it can build and build with constant criticism and rejection. That at its worst, some people would rather die. The story "The Jealous Husband" depicts a woman whose husband's criticisms, scoldings, and general verbal abuse prove too much for her. He tries to talk her down when he finds her on a cliffside, but she is described as "a broken woman." She smiles at her husband and dances herself off the cliff. The husband has to live with the fact he drove her to it, and that one day their child will ask why he doesn't have a mother.

But I feel I'm mucking around in the details at this point when the question was specifically about revenge. Shakespeare wrote Hamlet with the understanding that his audience would have certain mores toward Claudius' murder of his brother, which are as follows:

- Killing people in general is bad

- Killing the king is especially bad

- Killing your own brother, who also happens to be the king, is something only the power-hungry and evil-hearted do

In Inupiaq storytelling, on the other hand, the majority of leaders who are killed, yes, some even by their own younger brothers, have it coming. So now, there's more complexity. Could Hamlet's father have been a tyrant, completely justifying Claudius' actions? Is Claudius using his power to hurt people, justifying Hamlet's need to kill him? Do the justifications even matter when our protagonist is possibly spiraling into grief-induced madness and is still (allegedly) young? Hard to say. I can't exactly resurrect billy shakes, give him a crash course on a people that lived on the other side of the globe from him who he never heard of in his life in english that he could understand, and ask him, now could I?

This could add in interesting new layer of tension, though. Instead of having to prove that his father was murdered, Hamlet would have the much more complicated and nuanced question of whether it was justified, and whether he's qualified to make that call.

In the kinds of killing the tyrant Inupiaq stories, which would probably fit Hamlet best, there's an interesting aspect that could easily work it's way in. The tyrant in question keeps a giant rock in his home to use as his murder weapon. When he wishes to kill someone, he bashes their head into the giant rock. He's big and uses brute strength to overpower his victims, and underestimates the hero, who is often smaller but always trains himself to be strong (by walking against strong winds or uprooting small trees, for example), and who bashes his head into the same rock he used to kill others. That would probably work its way into the final scene, where Hamlet, Leartes, and Claudius all die. Not entirely sure how, but it would be for the better because we didn't have swords to duel with, and a giant killing rock you have to avoid would make a barehanded duel that much more interesting.

Inupiaq stories tend to end more quiet, more like unraveling than a Big Solid Conclusion. Hamlet wouldn't have his finally soliloquy, he'd kill his uncle and there'd be some mention of Horatio finding him dying and worrying about the coming invasion. Maybe a scolding or lamenting remark from the storyteller of how Hamlet shouldn't have left his friend to such circumstances.

Closing notes: it's been a good long while since I read any Shakespeare and I don't like his work enough to re read the entirety of Hamlet so I might have been a little fuzzy on the details. I feel like Euripides' Electra tells almost the same story without feeling nearly as bogged down, and the film adaptation starring Irene Papas is incredibly compelling to me.

[paganimagevault]

Agrippina the Younger, mother of Cologne 1st C. CE. Sister of Emperor Caligula, mother of Emperor Nero, wife of Emperor Claudius, Roman bust (marble), 1st century CE, (Ny Carslberg Glyptotek, Copenhagen.).

"Agrippina the young one. Agrippina, which was born in 15 A.D., is in fact the mother of the famous emperor Nero. In the year 49 A.D., she married her uncle Claudius in order to strengthen her power and to give the possibility to her son to be the emperor’s reign. She herself was the first female Roman emperor and decided to found a colony named after her at the place where she was born: Colonia Claudia Ara Agrippinensium. Agrippina, which was murdered by her son in 59 A.D., is therefore a famous character of the city of Colonia, Cologne, Köln and is present all over the city. In November, when the people of Cologne will start celebrating Carnival, you will realize that the leaders of the parades and events are always three people: a king, a farmer and a virgin. The character of the virgin is actually supposed to be Agrippina, the protecting mother Colonia, which founded our city. Her crown and her virginity symbolize the impregnableness of Cologne when it was still surrounded by a half circled city wall. You can find her, as every important personality of the city, at our city hall. You might even discover her during a walk through the city, when you expect her the least." -taken from Erasmus Student Network, Köln

https://paganimagevault.blogspot.com/2020/07/agrippina-younger-mother-of-cologne-1st.html

[fashionbooksmilano]

Vom Reisen

Ein Fotojournal

Ed. Regelindis Westphal, photography akg-images Berlin

Edition Frölich, Berlin 2014, 17 x 24 cm, 112 pages, 54 duplex illustrations, thread-stitched, bookmark, hardcover. ISBN 978-3-9816537-7-9

euro 15,00

email if you want to buy booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

Photographs from the Berlin Archive for Art and History, including by Paul Almasy, Denise Bellon, Jaques Rouchon, Voller Ernst

"When someone goes on a journey, he can tell something," Matthias Claudius already knew. Just how to remember everything in such a way that it makes a story that lasts? The classic travel diary is a little out of style, but it should definitely be reanimated in the race against the digital memory aids and as soon as possible! Especially when it is a beautifully and lovingly compiled journal with numerous younger or older historical black-and-white photos - by Paul Almasy and various public and private archives - that also contains unusual wisdoms and aphorisms by famous artists and presented to authors of all ages. Travel forms, but also a travel diary with keywords or texts: “I never travel without my diary. You should always have something exciting to read, «says Oscar Wilde. Take an example from one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, even if your notes shouldn't make a global career - so that memories last! As a gift for those who love to travel as well as a notebook for those interested in photography.

31/10/21

orders to: booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

ordini a: booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

twitter: @fashionbooksmi

instagram: fashionbooksmilano, designbooksmilano tumblr: fashionbooksmilano, designbooksmilano

[pl-panda]

To Marry a Vigialnte: Part 16

MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 16

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Chloé couldn’t believe it! They forced her to stay in Gotham Academy’s girls’ dorms. That witch Lila managed to talk Madame Bustier into stopping her from leaving. Marinette had her mother’s permission to stay elsewhere, but apparently, the change in accommodation plans invalidated Chloé’s father’s permission. She would resolve it with a single phone call if someone didn’t steal her phone . She of course tried to report it to Madame Bustier, but her teacher declared that she must’ve lost it somewhere and she shouldn’t be shifting the blame on others. 

That woman’s picture should be in every dictionary, right next to the definition of a hypocrite.

She turned the corridor. She could sleep one evening there and tomorrow Marinette would let her borrow the phone. She could try with one of the girls, but it’s not like she remembered every phone number in existence! She regretted that the akuma attack ruined their plans for the afternoon, but Damian had sword-fighting practice tomorrow and she would have her friend all to herself. 

“You’re Chloé, right?” A blonde cheerleader asked. The Parisian immediately recognized her as Erica and narrowed her eyes. There were five of them and one of her. 

“And you’re the Queen B. of this school. For now .” 

The Gothamite princess had the guts to actually laugh. “You can’t even touch me. You’re just some foreign student that came here on a whim of the Ice Prince.”

“Oh, right. You’re the golden princess of this school.” Chloé mocked her. “Lemme tell you something, Erica. I’ll offer you an escape deal. You leave Damienette alone and you can keep your position on top.”

“Yeah. Like you could be a threat.” A new voice joined. From behind the cheerleaders, a new girl walked. Lila now wore the cheerleader uniform too. “You’re just a walking akuma factory. It’s really no wonder that people avoid you. You caused more possessions in Paris than everyone else combined.”

“And you hold the record for times being akumatized.” The Parisian blonde retorted. “Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! You think you can take the Chloé Bourgeois?”

“Oh! We don’t think…” Erica started.

“We know.” Lila finished. 

“The deal is simple. You will stop your friendship with Maribrat and we will let you keep some dignity.” 

“Or we will make you a social outcast. Not only at school, but in the whole of Gotham.”

Inside, Chloé was raging. She wished she could show them what Cass taught her, but she quelled the idea quickly. I definitely spend too much time with Sabine and the Waynes… She thought to herself. Instead, she grinned. “You know the difference between a threat and a warning?”

“What are you babbling about?” One of the cheerleaders snorted. 

“A warning is a threat that will actually come to pass. And I warn you. You’re messing with fire here. Damian was raised very old-fashioned. He will draw blood to defend the honor of his angel.” She decided that they could receive a warning. It’s not like they would listen. “And Marinette’s aunt is very well connected.” Then, she decided to drive the nail deeper. “Plus, MDC’s client list is quite long and none would appreciate that you try to bully their favorite designer.”

“Like that doormat…” Lila started, but Chloé tested the glare Cass taught her. It worked well enough. 

“You’re not dealing with Maribear. You’re dealing with me. And I’m not going to lose.” 

“What’s going on here?” Allegra walked toward them and stood next to Chloé. 

“Scatter.” Lila snapped at her. 

“Funny. I was about to say the same thing,” she retorted. Now she stood side by side with Chloé and both stared at them. Allegra had an aura of confidence around her. 

“Be careful who you stick with, Kane. You’ll do well not to antagonize me.”

“Just because your mother married a famous baseball player doesn’t make me respect you more, Boyle.” 

“It’s Layton ,”The angry cheerleader corrected. 

“Right. I must’ve forgotten. She does change her last name a lot…” Allegra smiled. 

“You’re in over your head, Kane. You’ll do better to stay with your little outcast club.”

“Nah. I’m good. Also, don’t you have practice in five minutes? I heard the coach is in a mood today.” The mayor’s daughter smirked. “It would be a shame if he made you run around with the players.” 

This made all the girls quickly scatter to get to the practice, leaving Lila and Erica alone. “You’ve just made an enemy, Kane.” 

“You’re an inconvenience at best…” She dismissed the threat. Lila decided to cut their losses and dragged the fuming Erica away, sending the two blondes a murderous glare.

“Thanks for the backup,” Chloé started. “Of course I didn’t need any, but still.”

“No problem. I always hated that self-appointed princess.” 

“And have you seen her hair?” The Parisian huffed. “Utterly Ridiculous!”

“And I’m pretty sure her dress is too short by the school standards.”

Chloé smirked. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

-----------

After Bruce returned, they tried to figure out what was taken from the inside of the vault. Out of various precious weapons, documents, several property deeds, the only thing that was missing turned out to be the content of the wall safe. 

During the night patrol, Marinette and Damian scoured the city for potential akumas. While he dealt with criminals, she often stopped by the victims to calm them and gave some support. After serious butt-kicking for the criminals. It just wouldn’t do for Damian to get all the fun. The superhero/vigilante duo (nobody was sure which one, not even them) made a positive first impression on the city. Citizens seemed to like them, both for their efficiency and how they always stopped to talk. 

After, Marinette noted that their transformations could hold for much longer now since they were together in this. When asked, Tikki explained that now that she had Chat Noir that was mature and they were technically both adults as far as magic was concerned, she could start developing her full potential. 

After the short report to Alfred, the teens left the Batcave to change into pajamas. Marinette fell asleep almost immediately, but Damian stayed awake for a bit. He swore he would protect his Habibti. No matter how far he would have to go. 

-----------

Marinette and Damian had roughly half of their classes together. Sadly, she didn’t share too much with her best friend, since Chloé was more into business management than arts and fashion. It was mostly the problem of the level. Classes that Marinette had at beginner, the Parisian blonde had at a higher level and vice-versa.

When she arrived at her class, Claude and Jon were saving her a place between them, which would help to protect her from the classmates that ended in the same group. There were also several GA students that she would rather not sit close to (Erica’s bunch). Generally speaking, the first part of her day went well. 

The same couldn’t have been said about Damian. He, Chloé, and Allegra were saddled with the class. And to his utter dread, there were no free places next to each other. They tried to ask some students to move. Well, Damian tried to threaten them, which worked, but too late. The teacher entered and decided to put Damian between Alya and Lila. It was as if the universe was punishing him for something. He suspected that Mister Scarlet did that on purpose to egg him. With this one, he had no idea what he did to make him dislike the Wayne heir. But the way he acted toward him made it clear that he took pleasure in the situation Damian was put in: Between Alya’s nagging to leave Marinette and ‘return’ to Lila, and the Liar who kept whispering stories about their common past. 

Finally, after they got to go for lunch, Damian stormed out of the class. Everyone in the corridor made way for him. His scowl was enough to deter anyone from trying to approach him. Well, anyone but Maps.

“Damian! You’re back!” She leaped at him and it took all of his willpower not to draw a sword. 

“Tt. Mizoguchi. It’s not the best moment.” He growled. 

“But you’re back! Did the headmaster cancel your expulsion!?”

“No. He just forgot to file the expulsion files within the week of the offense. Ergo, I was never expelled. I just joined the exchange program.” He explained. 

Her eyes practically shined. “Coooool.” 

“Tt. Can you let go of my arm?” He was really hoping it would work. 

“Nope. I just met you again. We’re glued.�� 

“Sup Dames?” Claude chose that moment to appear.

“Tt. I’ve got a parasite.”

“That I can see!” The other boy laughed. Most people were still steering clear from Wayne and whoever was with him. They valued their health for the most part. 

“I’m not a parasite. I’m Maps!” The girl greeted Claude, who in turn made an exaggerated bow. 

“And I’m Claudius Chase. But please call me Claude.” He made a mock fighting stance. “Like Jean-Claude Van Damme.” 

“More like Jack Clown van Lame,” Damian muttered. “Your stance is all wrong. I could take you out in seconds.”

“Of course you could. You’re b…” The Wayne heir covered her mouth with his hand. 

“Tt. Not here. Now if you would let go of my hand, you parasite, I’m sure Habibti is waiting for me.” 

“Habibti?” She asked after letting go.

“His girlfriend.”

You could actually see Maps’ eyes form into twin stars. “Can I meet her? Can I meet her?”

“Since when are you into fashion?”

“Huh? Who said anything about fashion. She’s your girlfriend though, which means she must be sooo cooool!” Maps was practically vibrating. 

“Hero worship much?” Claude joked.

“Tt. Fine. Let’s go.”

The three arrived at the Cafeteria, where Allegra, Chloé, Jon, and Felix were already eating. They had lasagna that day. Quite a lot of people were whispering when Damian appeared, more so than usual, but nobody dared to look at him. When he sat at the table next to Marinette, they did their best not to stare.

“Grumpy Cat?” She asked, a bit worried. “You’re… tense.” 

“Tt. Because of that socially-inept, talentless, petty bookworm,” he seethed, “I had to sit between Rossi and Cesaire.” 

Immediately, Marinette pulled him into a tight hug. “Oh, my poor Kitty.”

This caused some of the gathered, who knew Damian from the previous year, to immediately tense. Some of the students sitting nearby (mostly females) even grinned, thinking that here died the relationship. There was no way that Ice Prince would allow anyone to refer to him as Kitty. Getting him on the first-name basis was considered a privilege allowed only to the family (and strangely Claude). 

To their immeasurable surprise, Damian didn’t explode. Instead, he melted slightly into the hug and some of the anger left him. It wasn’t a long hug, but after it, he was now acting less like a walking grenade looking for its pin. At least three people awwed at them. It was just too pure.

“Whoah!” And then there was Maps, who had the subtlety of a steam-train speeding through the Wild West. “You’re so cute together!” She zoomed next to Marinette to get a better look.

“And you’re…” Marinette eyed the overly energetic girl. She was short, with hair that reached barely below her ears. 

“Mia Mizoguchi. But you can call me Maps. I’m Damian’s friend.” 

“Tt. More like a stray.”

“Damian! Don’t be a Grumpy Cat.”

“Besides, isn’t collecting strays kinda a Wayne Tradition at this point.” Felix deadpanned. Everyone started laughing. Damian gave a dignified smirk. The blond proved to be able to match him in intellectual discussion, which gave some basis for mutual respect between them. 

The group talked a bit more about their classes. Marinette and Chloé compared every detail of their experience in the States with what it was like back in Paris. Maps was a fountain of questions, even if some of them were a bit… strange. But Marinette still felt she would like the little girl. That she was in the same class as her surprised her. 

After lunch came time for more classes. When they finished, Damian was supposed to stay for training while Marinette and Chloé would go shopping. They were already outside the gates when three rather packed teens from the year ahead stepped in their way. 

“You think you can steal Erica’s man and then threaten her?” The one in the middle asked. It was clear he was angry and not exactly thinking clearly. “Gotham Academy Grackles stay together. If you think you can just prance here and take over, you have another thing coming.”

“Um… Sure.” Mari just nodded. “Now excuse me while I go away.” She tried to move past them, but one decided to make a fatal mistake of trying to grab the front of her shirt. She raised her left arm under the grip, lifting his hand slightly. It exposed his stomach for the moment, which she took full advantage of and delivered a knee-kick to his liver. When he folded in half from the pain, as much as he could with her still supporting his hand, she then used her right arm to deliver a cutter toward the back of his head.

The boy was out cold in less than five seconds. 

Seeing their friend attacked, the other two charged at her. Marinette ducked under the punch from the first one and headbutted him in the stomach. She then wrapped her arms around his left legs and lifted him up. He fell on the ground and tripped the slower one. When they both were down, Marinette stomped on the hand of the one on top. There was an audible crack that signaled she managed to damage the bones. He would not be fighting. The one under tossed his pained friend away and jumped on his feet. He managed to get Marinette in a chokehold, but she pushed her arms between his extended arms and spread them apart. When he was exposed, she jumped up and kicked him with both legs. While she landed without any injury, the bigger player crashed into his two friends. 

“The police are on their way,” Chloé informed, putting away the phone that mysteriously found itself in her possession earlier that morning, giving more credence to the theory that she simply misplaced it. 

“What’s going on here!” A harsh voice boomed behind them. Hammerhead was standing there in all his glory. “To my office. All five.” 

“Maman’s going to be here in just five minutes,” Mari informed him. She was still full of adrenaline. 

“I don’t care.” He seethed in response. 

The only conscious boy helped his friends stand up. First the one with a broken hand, then they lifted the unconscious one together. They limped through the campus toward where the office was located. Behind them, Marinette and Chloé walked with heads held high. Tomorrow, the school would be full of gossip, but the bluenette was all too used to it by now and the blonde would run her PR magic to change it into something positive. Chloé loved playing the crowd. 

--------

“I’m here.” Sabine practically stormed inside the office. “Now could you explain, sir, what is it about?”

“Your daughter got into an… altercation with older students today. Right in front of the school.” Headmaster Hammer started.

“Ah. And you’re curious if we’ll be pressing charges?” The woman asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Charges?” She managed to baffle the man. 

“Attempted assault?”

“Madame. You misunderstood me. Your daughter…”

“Defended herself. Yes.” Sabine cut in, her eyes filled with cold fury. “Unless I’m mistaken, Self-defence is not a crime.”

“You can’t call self-defense stomping on…”

“To prevent further fighting? Debatable. She is smaller, physically weaker, and was outnumbered. A good lawyer would argue that it was necessary for her to act that way for her safety and to avoid further fighting.” She stared down at the headmaster. “As for the charges…”

At that, two officers walked in. Hammer recognized the first one as Renee Montoya. The other was a blonde officer wearing a tactical vest.

“Sorry, it took so long. We’ve been a little short-staffed since the mess with akumas started.”

“Don’t worry. Luckily, my daughter managed to defend herself. Now, officer, what must we do if we wish to press charges?” Sabine asked with a cold voice, never breaking eye-contact with the headmaster. 

“That…”

“I’ll explain everything while officer Sawyer takes the attackers into custody.” 

“Thank you so much.” The older woman finally broke the eye-contact and turned toward Montoya. She smiled with her usual peaceful smile, but the fire was still in her eyes. “My daughter is part of the exchange program while I’m visiting my niece.”

Marinette was stunned by how well her mother could take control of the situation. She wasn’t sure what precisely she was doing, but it was definitely effective. 

“Foreigners?” The officer asked, surprised. “I could hardly hear the accent. France?”

“Yes. Paris.” Sabine smiled. “Neither I nor any of my charges are really familiar with the procedures here.”

“I will walk you through it. Headmaster?” The policewoman finally acknowledged the elderly man in the room. “Were the parents of the culprits notified yet?”

“Not. Yet.” He muttered through clenched teeth.

“We will take it from here.” She smirked at the headmaster. “You will be notified if any further input is needed, sir.” She started to walk away and motioned for the three women to follow her. 

Outside, Damian was waiting with a sword. Luckily, there was no blood on it. Yet .

“Hello, Kitty. Don’t worry. I’ve managed it.” 

“Tt. I’ll still challenge them to an honor duel.” He scoffed. 

“You will probably have to wait a bit. I don’t think…” The officer took a glance at Sabine, who even with her smile looked like she was ready to fight God on equal footing. “They probably won’t be coming back to school this year.” 

“They won’t.” Chloé, Sabine, and Damian said at the same time. But they probably had different things in mind. Or maybe just Chloé…

------------

  Masterlist // Next

[jeannereames]

Hi i have a follow up question to your latest ask. I tried looking through your asks if you had answered something similar but only found a post about your book which is also good but not exactly what i was looking for haha. Anyway, so I was wondering what sources we have showing or referencing the historical alexanders relationship to achilles? And maybe his mothers too. Is it just in later authors works? Is it based on lost sources from alexanders time? Are there coins or anything? Thanks (:

TL;DR version: we don’t have anything from Alexander’s own day that firmly connects him to Achilles. His coins all show Herakles, and then later himself “Heraklized.”

IF the armor in Tomb II at Vergina is his (e.g., it’s his half-brother Arrhidaios in there, not Philip II), then we may have an artistic reference on the magnificent shield recovered and reconstructed via archaeological magic. The shield’s central boss shows Achilles killing Penthesileia. Is that the “Shield of Achilles” Alexander supposedly picked up at Troy, and then carried in battle like a standard? Maybe. But, either way, it’s a reference to Achilles.

Otherwise, Achilles just doesn’t show up in Macedonian artwork. As he was supposedly from Epiros next door west, that may not be a big surprise, whereas Herakles (who’s all over the place) was believed to be the ancestor of the Argead clan. Alexander’s claim to Achilles came through Mommy, Olympias.

So virtually ALL our references to Alex and Achilles are from literary sources. And those are also ALL later. Which brings us to our source problem….

—————————————

The sources for Alexander are a regular Gordion Knot. We’re gonna get into the weeds here. Stay with me. And you may want to bookmark this for yourself if you need a handy (if saucy) later reference on the Alexander sources.

I’m not sure how much the asker already knows, but let me lay out some basics for everyone, including common terminology. You can probably suss out a lot from context, but just to be clear:

“Primary” evidence means documents and materials from the time period under consideration, and “secondary” evidence means modern authors assembling/editing and writing about those sources. When we look at the ancient world, primary evidence refers to documents (writings, including inscriptions), artwork (vases, sculptures, mosaics, etc.), and material evidence (e.g., “stuff” unearthed by archaeologists).

Obviously, only a fraction of what once existed has survived. Sometimes we know of writings that are no longer “extant.” Extant means a document we still have, or at least have most of. We hear about a lot more via “testamonia” and “fragmenta.” Testamonia are mention of a document (or author) found in another document. And fragmenta are pieces of a lost work (typically) embedded as quotes in somebody else’s work. Unfortunately, ancient authors don’t always admit where they get their information. “Citing” wasn’t a thing, back then.

Now, that out of the way, let’s take a look at Alexander sources in particular.

We have 5 extant histories/biographies for Alexander, more than virtually any other ancient figure. That’s great!

Problem. Not a single one was written by anyone who knew him, saw him, or even lived when he did. Two of them aren’t even in Greek; they’re in Latin. I’ve listed them below from earliest to latest, with approximate dates, and a bit of info about the author. (While I prefer Greek transliterations, I’m using the most common spelling of the names for familiarity.)

Diodorus Siculus, Bibliotheca Historica, specifically books 16 (Philip), 17 (Alexander), 18-20 (Successors). As “world histories,” they do talk about events in other places, including Syracuse, Athens, Sparta, and Rome. As his name suggests, Diodorus was from Sicily, and died c. 30 BCE, just as the Roman Republic was morphing into Empire. We have only books 1-5 and 11-20 of a total of 40. Books 18-20 are incomplete (fragments).

THIS IS OUR EARLIEST EXTANT SOURCE: a guy who lived in the first century BCE and was born almost 300 years after Philip of Macedon.

Let that sink in a moment.

Curtius Rufus, Historiae Alexandri Magni, is the better known of our two Latin histories. The author is a mystery, which complicates dating it. He lived under the empire, while the Parthians existed. A consul suffectus in late 43 CE (Claudius) has been proposed as him, but speculation abounds he might have used a nom de plume—not unlike a fanfiction author. 😊 The best study of Curtius’s work is by Elizabeth Baynam. He probably belongs to the first century, just a little earlier than Plutarch, and his work bears all the hallmarks of the Latin Silver Age.

Plutarch of Chaironeia wrote a lot, including his collection, Lives of Famous Greeks and Romans, which includes Alexander (as well as some Successors) + a massive number of essays collected under the general title Moralia. These include The Fortune of Alexander the Great, and Sayings of Kings and Commanders. Plutarch was a Dionysian priest from central Greece (Boeotia) who lived in the late first century CE, and died c. 120…that’s when HADRIAN was emperor. He belongs to a group of writers typically called the Second Sophistic.

Arrian of Nicomedia, The Anabasis and Indica, written in two different dialects of Greek (Attic and Ionic); he also wrote some philosophic stuff. We know a decent amount about him. He was an Asian Greek from modern Bithynia (the home province of Hadrian’s boyfriend Antinoos), a military man, a senator, a friend of Hadrian, a consul suffectus, and later, an archon of Athens, but most famously, governor (legate) of Cappadocia under Hadrian. He died in Athens c. 160 CE. He liked to call himself the New Xenophon and naming his work on Alexander the Anabasis (after Xenophon’s famous history) is pointed. Although Greek, he was strongly Romanized.

Justin, wrote an epitome of Pompeius Trogus’s expansive Liber Historiarum Philippicarum, which was a history of the Macedonian kingdom, written when Augustus was Empror. An “epitome” is a digest, or shortened version. Trogus’s work was 44 books. Justin’s is much, much smaller, but it’s not a true digest in that he collected what he considered the more interesting titbits rather than trying to summarize the whole thing. We do not know when he lived, precisely, and dates have been thrown out from shortly after Pompeius Trogus all the way to 390 CE! His Latin matches the second century or perhaps early third. This one doesn’t have a Loeb edition, so get the translation by John Yardley with Waldemar Heckel’s commentary on Justin.

In addition, information and stories about Alexander can be found scattered in other ancient sources, notably:

Athenaeus of Naucratus (Greece), Supper Party (Deipnosophistae), which is a weird collection of stories about famous people and food, told at a fictional dinner banguet. It’s long, and fairly entertaining reading, if you’re interested in Greek (and Roman) dining customs. Athenaeus lived in the late 2nd/early 3rd century CE, so he’s even later than most of our historians. Athenaeus used a lot of now-missing sources.

Polyaenus, Strategems. Military handbook from another late author—2nd century CE—but he’s of special interest as he’s Macedonian, our sole extant ancient source from a Macedonian, but keep in mind 500+ years passed between Alexander’s day and his. The Strategems is broken down by leader, which include Archelaus, Philip, and Alexander, plus some of the Successors, too. Until recently, there wasn’t a really good translation (the last was done in the 1800s), but it was finally updated by Krentz and Wheeler for Ares Press.

In addition, he’s mentioned in passing by sources from Strabo to Pliny the Elder to Aelian.

This gives you a good idea of what we do have, and the nature of our problem. It may also help explain what I (or other historians) mean when we talk about the danger of “Romanizing,” even with Greek authors. By the time any of them were writing, even Diodorus, Rome dominated the Mediterranean, and most of them really knew only the imperial period.

Besides the obvious problem of the distance in time, some also had axes to grind. Plutarch is probably the most obvious, as he admits he’s not writing history, but this new thing (he invented) called “Lives” (e.g., biography). More to the point, he’s writing moral tales. Ergo, his bio of Alex is really a long discourse in the old saw, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Likewise, Curtius had a lesson about the evils of Roman imperial debauchery, especially as influenced by Eastern Ways pulling good men away from Roman discipline and clemency.

So what about our now-missing historians who were used by the guys above, and lived closer to ATG’s time? Some of the more important include:

The Ephemerides, or Royal Journal: a daily account of the king’s activities similar to other Ancient Near Eastern traditions, kept by Eumenes, Alexander’s personal secretary. You’ll see them referred to chiefly when talking about Alexander’s last days, as they (supposedly) give an account of his deterioration and death. But they may (and probably were) “doctored” later. Ed Anson has an article about them: important reading.

Callisthenes, Aristotle’s nephew, the official Royal Historian…at least until he got himself in trouble with the Page’s Conspiracy and ATG had him executed (or caged, accounts differ). His history was noted even in antiquity for being flowery and effusive, despite his personal claims to be a philosopher and pretense of austerity. If Alexander wanted a Homer, it wasn’t Callisthenes. Among his failings, he attempted to write about ATG’s battles…badly (so Polybius). Still, this was the official record up till Baktria, used by all the historians still extant. Don’t confuse it with Pseudo-Callisthenes which is the chief source of the Alexander Romance.

Marsyas: Macedonian literati who went to school with the prince, and not only wrote about his childhood (his Education of Alexander was modeled on Xenophon’s Education of Cyrus) and career, but also wrote a work about Macedonian customs that I’d simply LOVE to have. If I could ask for one work from antiquity to be discovered tomorrow, that would be it.

Ptolemy I, of Egypt: Alexander’s general, the guy who stole his body and stole Egypt too in the Successor wars that followed. He was one of Arrian’s main sources when writing his histories. Despite Arrian’s declaration that Ptolemy could be trusted because it would be bad for a king to lie, we can’t trust him. Among other things, he set out to smear the name of his Successor-era rival Perdikkas, and also, apparently, made himself sound more important than he really was. 😉

Nearchus of Crete/Amphipolis, Alexander’s chief admiral and a player in the later Successor wars, wrote an account of his naval trip from India, et al., used chiefly by Arrian.

Aristobulus of Cassandreia: Arrian’s other chief source, he was an engineer, architect, and friend of the king; his main problem seems to have been a tendency to whitewash or explain away critiques of Alexander. It’s Aristobulus who claims ATG didn’t drink heavily, just sat long over his wine for the conversation (uh…I’m sure Kleitos agrees with that). It’s also from him that we get the alternative story that Alexander didn’t cut the Gordion Knot, just pulled the pin out of the yoke and untied it from inside (he didn’t cheat!). Hmmm.

Chares of Mytilene, Alexander’s chamberlain, wrote a 10-book history of Alexander that focused largely on his personal affairs. Boy, wouldn’t that be a fun read? Arrian uses him sometimes, as does Plutarch, et al. Chares is one of the chief sources on the Proskenysis Affair.

Cleitarchus, History of Alexander. Probably the best-known ancient “pop history” of Alexander, but given the ancient equivalent of 2-stars even by historians of his time. His father was a historian too, but apparently, he got more ambition than ability, and was accused of flat making up shit. He lived at Ptolemy’s court later, we think, and a recent fragment tells us he was a tutor. His date is in dispute as late 4th or middle 3rd, and he probably never actually met Alexander. Kleitarchos’s account was used heavily by Plutarch, Curtius, Diodorus, and Pompeius Trogus (Justin’s source). Even Arrian uses him occasionally.

Onesicritus, a Cynic philosopher who studied under Diogenes and later traveled with Alexander. Despite that, his reputation for honesty was even worse than Kleitarchos; Lysimakhos famously called him out publicly, and Strabo considered him a joke. It’s from Onesicritus we hear about Alexander’s sexual servicing of the Amazon Queen to give her a daughter (that’s what Lysimakhos made fun of him for: “Where was I when that happened?”).

These are the main ancient sources you’ll see mentioned, although parts of Alexander’s life are covered in smaller essays, e.g., On the Death (and Funeral) of Alexander and Hephaistion by Euphippus, which is unashamedly hostile to both men. All our fragments from Euphippos come from Athenaeus’s Supper Party, mentioned above.

We also have the Alexander Romance, but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish and not my bailiwick. I refer folks to the work by Richard Stoneman.

There you go! Your handy-dandy potted summary of the ancient authors. To learn more about them, please see Lionel Pearson’s The Lost Historians of Alexander the Great, Scholar’s Press, 1983. There have been articles and material about them in other commentaries and sources, but Pearson remains useful, if somewhat dated, simply for collecting it all in one place, including mention of some minor sources I didn’t cover here.

Finally, I’m including a flowchart I’ve made for my ATG class that lists all the known sources (including several not discussed above); it is copyrighted to me, but may be used for educational purposes. Yes, yes, it really is as crazy as this chart makes it look. And keep in mind, some dependencies are speculative rather than internally confirmed. E.g., as I mentioned earlier, not all ancient sources say what/who they consulted because, againg, citing wasn’t a thing, back then.

[germanicseidr]

Chatti

The Chatti were a Germanic tribe who lived in modern day Hesse, Germany. They were one of the most powerful tribes of Germania and also responsible for the famous Batavi. Around 100BC, a division of Chatti splintered off the main tribe and migrated to modern day Netherlands. This division was caused by an internal squabble.

The meaning of the tribe's name is most likely 'the angry'. We do not know why they carried such a name but maybe it has something to do about their history. Maybe this tribe once revolted against a larger tribe or another conflict might have resulted in this nickname. Maybe the name is not Germanic in origin at all. It might have come from the Celtic word cat which means fight so they would have been known as 'the fighters'. The modern day region of Hesse, where the tribe once lived, is most likely named after the tribe.

Roman recorded history first mentioned the Chatti in Nero Claudius Drusus' campaigns against Germania. Drusus was so succesfull that he might have been able to conquer whole of Germania if he did not die after a fall from his horse. The Chatti just like several other tribes were defeated by Drusus around 12BC.

Adgandestrius, king of the Chatti in 9AD joined Arminius in his revolt against the Romans. The Chatti fought together with the Cherusci and several other tribes in the now famous Teutoburgerwald battle. This battle was Rome's biggest defeat and eventually led to them abandoning the plan to conquer Germania.

Interestingly enough, Adgandestrius turned against Arminius in 19AD and he even asked Rome for poison so that he can kill Arminius. This request of him was however refused because the Romans considered it dishonorable and prefered to beat Arminius in battle. Eventually Arminius died two years later, murdered by his own people because they thought Arminius was getting too powerful.

In 58AD, a conflict broke out between the Chatti and the Hermunduri. Both parties fought for control over a river that was rich in salt that flowed between the two tribes. Tacitus described that this river was also religiously important for the Germanics believed that the region around this river was close to the Gods. Prayers said here could be received directly by the Gods. Both battling parties also vowed their enemies to Tyr and Wodan. This vow meant that the defeated party was sacrificed to the Gods.

In 69AD the Chatti also joined the Batavi in their uprising against the Romans. Another two Roman legions disappear and a Roman fort was captured. Eventually peace returned between the tribes and Rome. This revolt though impressed the Roman emperor at the time, Vespasian. The Batavi, a splinter of the Chatti, are named the strongest of the Germanic tribes, not in number but in fighting skills.

20 years later in 89AD, two Roman legions revolt under Saturnius'command. The reason for this revolt is sadly unknown but it might have been caused by strict policies. The Chatti supported these two legions in their revolt but it was quickly put down by Rome.

Not much is further known about the Chatti besides they continued raiding the Romans in Roman territory around 162AD. Parts of the Chatti tribe formed the Franks together with several other tribes around the third century. The remaining Chatti stayed and continued raiding the Romans.

Eventually the remaining Chatti became the Hessi in the 8th century. The first written record of the word dates from 782AD. Hessen itself also has a long and fascinating history but that is a topic for another group.

And finally I want to share two quotes by Tacitus on the Chatti:

"A practice, rare among the other German tribes, and simply characteristic of individual prowess, has become general among the Chatti, of letting the hair and beard grow as soon as they have attained manhood, and not till they have slain a foe laying aside that peculiar aspect which devotes and pledges them to valour.

Over the spoiled and bleeding enemy they show their faces once more then, and not till then, proclaiming that they have discharged the obligations of their birth, and proved themselves worthy of their country and of their parents. The coward and the unwarlike remain unshorn. The bravest of them also wear an iron ring (which otherwise is a mark of disgrace among the people) until they have released themselves by the slaughter of a foe.

Most of the Chatti delight in these fashions. Even hoary-headed men are distinguished by them, and are thus conspicuous alike to enemies and to fellow-countrymen. To begin the battle always rests with them they form the first line, an unusual spectacle. Nor even in peace do they assume a more civilised aspect."

"They are found where there are hills, and with them grow less frequent, for the Hercynian forest keeps close till it has seen the last of its native Chatti. Hardy frames, close-knit limbs, fierce countenances, and a peculiarly vigorous courage, mark the tribe. For Germans, they have much intelligence and sagacity they promote their picked men to power, and obey those whom they promote.

Their whole strength is in their infantry, which, in addition to its arms, is laden with iron tools and provisions. Other tribes you see going to battle, the Chatti to a campaign. Seldom do they engage in mere raids and casual encounters. It is indeed the peculiarity of a cavalry force quickly to win and as quickly to yield a victory. Fleetness and timidity go together deliberateness is more akin to steady courage."

Here is a map which shows the location of the Chatti and a depiction of a Germanic warrior by Matthew de Witte

[goodticklebrain]

Q&A August: Austin Tichenor of the Reduced Shakespeare Company

They say you should never meet your heroes, but obviously “they” were never enlightened enough to consider Austin Tichenor of the Reduced Shakespeare Company a hero. Like many Shakespeare geeks, I was exposed to Reduced Shakespeare Company’s performance of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) at an impressionable young age. Once the DVD came out, I watched it over and over again, soaking up the irreverence and affection for Shakespeare like a sponge. It never occurred to me that I would one day meet the curly-haired pompous idiot in the black pants whose antics had entertained me so much, let alone be lucky enough to call him a friend, but that’s exactly what has happened.

I first met Austin (after exchanging mutually admiring tweets with him) in April of 2016, during their world premiere of William Shakespeare’s Long Lost First Play (abridged) at the Folger Library. I was prepared to be utterly starstruck, but Austin was so wonderfully down-to-earth that within minutes I felt like I’d known him forever. Totally lacking the pomposity and idiocy of his stage persona, Austin was overwhelmingly encouraging and supportive of my work, immediately welcoming me to play with him in the Shakespeare comedy sandbox. I had literally just started working full-time on Good Tickle Brain, so his enthusiasm meant the world to me.

I could gush about Austin for many more paragraphs, but I’m sure you’d rather hear from him, so here he is, my Comedy Fairy Godfather, in his own words!

1. Who are you? Why Shakespeare?

I’m Austin Tichenor, a playwright, director, and actor. I'm the co-artistic director of the Reduced Shakespeare Company, a three-person comic theatre troupe that reduces long serious topics into short silly comedies.

My first exposure to Shakespeare was undoubtedly in the original series of Star Trek! I read Shakespeare in high school English classes and got to see fantastic productions of Shakespeare at American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco and the Berkeley Reprtory Theatre, but I didn’t get to actually WORK on Shakespeare until grad school where I both played Claudius in a production of Hamlet and reduced my first Shakespeare (it was a directorial exercise: a five minute reduction of Much Ado About Nothing). My first professional theatre job was creating plays for young people so I went to Shakespeare immediately, creating 45 minute cuttings of Much Ado, Midsummer, and The Tempest.

So the opportunity to join the RSC in 1992 and perform its signature work The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) (written by the RSC’s founders) in London’s West End for eight months combined all my theatrical loves: smart silly comedy, non-realistic theatricality, and Shakespeare — which is kinda redundant, now that I think about it

2. What moment(s) in Shakespeare always make you laugh?

My favorite moments are typically when characters make incredible discoveries about themselves, and these are usually comic. Malvolio’s “I am…happy!” Terrible actor Francis Flute fully committing to the moment on “Dead, my dove?” Benedick’s “There’s a double meaning in that.” Hamlet toying with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, or telling Claudius he “shall nose” the dead Polonius as he goes upstairs. Olivia’s “Most wonderful!” when the penny drops and she realizes “Cesario” is actually Viola (and Sebastian’s twin).

3. What's a favorite Shakespearean performance anecdote?

I have two!

1) We were performing William Shakespeare’s Long Lost First Play (abridged) for the Shakespeare Theatre Association conference — the savviest and most knowledgeable group of people I’ll probably ever perform for, ever. I was playing Richard III and limping downstage to say my first line, one of the most famous first lines in all of Shakespeare. But I was distracted because I saw there were people sitting on the sides and I didn’t want to limp too far downstage for them to see — and in my distraction I said, “Now is the moment of our...” As soon as the word was out of my mouth, I knew I’d blown the line (it’s supposed to be “Now is the winter of our discontent”) and I knew I couldn’t pretend that it hadn’t happened; not in front of that crowd, not in our style of show. So I quite audibly said, “Oh f&$# me,” and limped back offstage to come in again. This time I said the line right and emphasized the first word: “Now is the winter of our discontent!” It brought down the house and everyone asked whether I’d planned it. Sigh…no, I hadn’t.

Mya interjects: I was in the house for this performance and this moment remains one of the highlights of my theatre-going career. What Austin neglects to mention here is that Reed, who had been left alone onstage after Austin had retreated, went over to the wings as if to confer with Austin, and said, sotto voce, “No, I don’t think anybody noticed.”

2) We were performing The Complete Works on a stage that had a little runway that circled the orchestra pit. In one of the scenes, Adam Long (one of the RSC’s founding members) decided to hop over the pit, from the stage to the runway, and he ended breaking the runway floor and falling through the boards. Thankfully uninjured, and delighted that he had this opportunity, he immediately uttered the immortal words, “Don’t worry, it’s just a stage I’m going through."

4. What's one of the more unusual Shakespearean interpretations you've either seen or would like to see?

I’m glad that nowhere in here have you asked what my favorite play is. I don’t have favorite Shakespeare plays, but I do have favorite productions. Here are two:

1) The Folger Theatre at the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington DC’s production of Love’s Labor’s Lost was delightful from start to finish: Incredibly smart, wildly funny, and wonderfully charming. The director and her team made the King’s desire for “a little academe” quite literal by re-creating the Folger Library’s handsome reading room onstage. (I wrote about this terrific production here.)

2) The Chicago Shakespeare Company production of The Tempest, co-directed by Aaron Posner and the magician Teller, turned Prospero into an actual wizard and filled the production with literal magic. (There must have been magic in Shakespeare’s original production as the First Folio has a stage direction that mentions that characters disappear by means of “a quaint device”. Teller filled his production with many quaint magic tricks and devices!) With music by Tom Waits and great comedy from its clowns, it was the most entertaining and completely realized production of The Tempest I've ever seen.

Favorite moments?

When Henry IV (Jeremy Irons) slaps his snotty son Prince Hal (Tom Hiddleston) in The Hollow Crown adaptation of Henry IV, Part 1 taking him (and the audience) by total surprise.

When Francis Flute’s (Sam Rockwell) emotions bubble to the surface unexpectedly in the ridiculous “Pyramus and Thisbe” in the film version of Midsummer.

When Juliet (Claire Danes) stirs and almost wakes up in time to prevent Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio) from killing himself in Baz Lurhmann’s Romeo + Juliet.

When Antigonus (Gregory Linington) distracted the Bear, dooming himself but preventing the death of Perdita, in the Goodman Theatre production of one of my least favorite plays The Winter’s Tale.

5. What's one of your favorite Shakespearean "hidden gems”?

The hidden gem of Shakespeare is actually right out in the open: He’s written incredibly theatrical plays, filled with rich and elusive characters that still fascinate us 400 years later, and even the most serious of his plays (including his Histories and especially his Tragedies) contain more comedy than is generally realized (or pulled off). Shakespeare was a showman whose livelihood depended on entertaining his audiences, so he created plays filled with music, devices, comic bits, fascinating characters, time jumps, changing perspectives, and shifting tones that are always serious (especially his Comedies) but never solemn.

(You don’t ask what my Shakespearean pet peeve but here it is: Productions that lack urgency and ignore the above, as in: Comedies that are beautiful-looking and melancholy but not funny. Histories that ignore the comic chaos that Shakespeare layers in. Tragedies that are one-note, over-the-top, and not in any way believable. Romances that equate pastoral with languid and not compelling. Argh.)

6. What passages from Shakespeare have stayed with you?

Oh so many...

Beatrice’s “Kill Claudio,” which comes seemingly out of the blue and yet is so right.

Falstaff’s honor speech, when done right, in front of a live audience.

And I find Miranda’s “O brave new world that hath such people in’t” just incredibly moving. (I’m always moved by Joy. Tragedy can suck it.)

Mya interjects: “Tragedy can suck it” might be my new personal motto now. Thanks, Austin.

7. What Shakespeare plays have changed for you?

Henry VI, Part 1. Reading it again recently, I was struck by the level of chaos Shakespeare depicts in a kingdom struggling without a ruler. It’s almost like Monty Python meets Veep: Sentences can’t get finished because people are running in and out, declaring “I’m in charge! I’m in charge!” with grand impotence. Of course Shakespeare would write it like that: He needed to entertain his audience, who were probably also nervous about their aging queen who had yet to declare a successor. Shakespeare created a chaotic warning that England shouldn’t descend into that kind of comically dangerous madness again — a warning that wasn’t really heeded, unfortunately.

8. What Shakespearean character or characters do you identify the most with?

Having played so many of them (albeit in reduced forms), that’s a tough call. But because I’m also an actor and a playwright, the ones I probably identify with the most are Shakespeare's seemingly autobiographical ones: Peter Quince, the only (I think) actor-playwright in the canon. Hamlet, the Danish prince with surprisingly strong opinions about theatre’s power and how certain speeches should be played (and how annoying comedians can be). Benedick, who struggles with his writing so comically. Suffolk, who in Henry VI, Part 1 declares, “I’ll call for pen and ink and write my mind.” And Bottom, of course, who thinks he can play anything.

Mya interjects: PETER QUINCES OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

9. Where can we find out more about you? Are there any projects/events you would like us to check out?

I’ve spent the last several years doing incredibly deep dives into Shakespeare, across many media:

My RSC partner Reed Martin and I wrote Pop-Up Shakespeare, an incredibly fun (and useful) introduction to the Bard’s life and works with beautiful, amazing, and funny illustrations by Jennie Maizels.

I contribute monthly essays about the intersection between Shakespeare and popular culture for the Folger Shakespeare Library’s Shakespeare & Beyond blog.

My weekly podcast (now in its 13th year) is a backstage glimpse into the life and works of the Reduced Shakespeare Company, featuring interviews with our many comedian, actor, playwright, author, director, composer, dramaturg, and artist friends and many many deep dives into matters Shakespearean.

Reed and I also wrote the definitive irreverent reference book, Reduced Shakespeare: The Complete Guide for the Attention-Impaired (abridged), which is still inexplicably in print (perhaps cuz it’s definitive).

We also wrote the stage play William Shakespeare’s Long Lost First Play (abridged) (“An absolute resolute hoot of a bawdy comedy of errors!” Broadway World), which premiered at the Folger Theatre in 2016, has toured the US and the UK, and is available for licensing via Broadway Play Publishing.

And in November 2019, the RSC will perform the international premiere in Israel of our brand new script Hamlet’s Big Adventure (a prequel) — what would happen if Tom Stoppard wrote Muppet Babies. It’s the comedy of the Prince of Denmark!

If after reading all this, for some insane reason you still want to get in touch, come find me here on Twitter. I think Mya will agree that it’s a much more civilized and fun place than its reputation suggests.

(Back to Mya) Thanks so much to Austin for taking the time to answer my questions! If you want to HEAR us actually talking to each other check out:

Reduced Shakespeare Co. Podcast #493

Reduced Shakespeare Co. Podcast #532

Reduced Shakespeare Co. Podcast #653

Q&A August continues next week with two phenomenal women who are using Shakespeare to build the most amazing things.