#classic tumblr. got help from a good friend though so I should be able to keep the thread more comprehensible now!

[thearbitraries]

another year, another entry

hi :)

i am starting to like the fact that i only remember to post on here once every year. it's like a little tradition now.

some people take pictures, and some people make scrapbooks for their memories. well, i make a yearly post to tumblr under a pseudonym. i like it.

2023

man, what a year!

for good and for bad, so much has come to pass this year.

where i last left you, i was looking forward to starting a life after dropping our of university. i didn't even know what i wanted for breakfast the next day, let alone what i wanted to do with my life.

turns out its something i've been dreaming of back when i used to exist without self expectations: music.

i was sleeping back in my teenage bedroom when i woke up from a dream so peacefully that i started to drift back into my thoughts to allow it to continue when, all of a sudden, a though. comes rolling through to the forefront of my mind: "i want to sing, i want to sing and make music". a smile crept onto my face as i literally agreed with my own mind, and i turned to stare at the ceiling and let myself dream, like i used to do when i was a child.

the next morning i couldn't help but spend the whole day thinking about the night before. i was so excited that the decision to do things my way, to be happy, was working. i was reaping what i sowed, and it felt so good.

i then did what adult lucy does best: research, prep and research.i dove into college and uni programmes, into singing courses and looking up what starting from the ground up looked like. i felt a special kind of fear doing it, and i say special becuase it felt good. i felt afraid to not do it instead of feeling afraid of doing it.

fast forward a while, i had to bring it up to my parents.

you can probably guess how that went.

yeah, not well.

i went through months of having to beg them to listen to what i had to say, while at the same time facing scrutiny for not doing anything. i was unable to breathe with them; i couldn't leave the house, i was forbidden from seeing my friends. i was a prisoner whose jailers' favourite method of torture was the constant reminder of my failures.

it was a rough time, i was very scared that i would never be able to do what i wanted. i felt the floor crumbling from under me because i had lost everything that made me important, or "good": i was no longer the golden child, the prodigy. i was now the uni dropout whose opinion no longer held any weight.

it was torture, and i almost buckled under it.

i considered going back to university to appease my parents. i realised that their opinions of me and their control really got to me, and that i felt helpless.

it didn't help that where i'm from isn't a place with a lot of opportunities for singers. there's one (1) place to study, but it's classical training.

if you want anything else, good luck. it's either diy study time or trying your connections in the industry. and well, i had to google how to get started, so that should give you an idea of where i was standing.

i finally found a professor, someone who could teach me technique and help me get started. it came after a long, long battle with my parents about being able to leave the house.

as soon as my classes started, i felt relief. my classes were that window of hope from where i could see the trees, listen to birdsong and smell the salty air of the sea. they gave me back the strength to, literally, allow myself to be happy and to have the strength to keep going.

after that, well, things hit a sort of plateau.

until they didn't.

my parents threw me out, and we had a massive, explosive fight that my memory falters on. it lasted only a couple of days, but i can never honestly come back from it.

my parents showed colours that i never thought i would be able to see so brightly. it really tainted my relationship with them, and it hurts to say because they act like it never really happened at all. it hurts because how can you go about your days pretending something so big and traumatic never happened? that you didn't cause all that harm?

im in therapy, and my therapist suggested i start a journal where i kept records of these types of events, so that my mind couldn't trick me later into thinking that, like my parents say, it never happened.

it's hard looking back and remembering what they did all while being with them at the dinner table.

i am now back home, but i will never be the same after that.

i confided in my grandmother with all of what happened, and i have found a lot of comfort in her presence in my life. she is the only one who believes me, and the only one who knows my true feelings over this whole situation.

she also helped remind me of what my goals are now: survival and the accomplishment of my dreams.

i have to keep working and keep trying until i succeed.

after that big fight, everything has settled a bit more at "home". my parents are satisfied with my progress with my singing, and i am at peace knowing that i'm moving forward.

oh! and while all of that was happening, i got into a new relationship :)

he's my best friend, as has been so for seven years. he's been by my side through thick and thin, and has known me though all of my eras and alter egos.

i am so happy, so, so happy. and we're celebrating one year together tomorrow :)

so, yeah. while 2023 has been a.. tough year, it's also brought with it very happy times and a lot of success.

i have grown so much, and i am very proud of how far i have gotten.

i can only hope 2024 brings with it more growth, even if it's hard to swallow.

thank you for listening, white void.

[biigsh0t]

@thebigshotman TWO FOR ONE CRISIS SPECIL!

Spamjo's sprite clipped through Spaul's hands and, for a single frame, T-posed atop the cungadero before rubberbanding back to a seated position. He lifted his head. He couldn't recall when, if ever, someone actually got this close to him without his dealmakers on— he hated that. Appearances. He had to keep up appearances. Had to look his best for the public. What in H E A V E N 's name would the audience think if they saw it? It's just Spaul though. What would everyone think if they saw how horrific he truly looked? Rumors would start. 'Did you know he lost his eyes in some freak accident?' They would say. 'What kind of accident?' Speculation would start. 'I don't know, it looks like he was... burned.' Burned. Spamjo lifted a hand to trace over a rough portion of warped plastic under one of his eye sockets, absentmindedly grazing his fingers over small craters and tracing along hardened rivulets. *" Help," he repeated. *" HELP?" He repeated again, louder this time. *" WH- WH4T KINDA [[Free Medical Assistance Program]] ARE WE TALKIN ABOUT? LIKE THE [F1] KIND [[Help me!!]] OR [[Your not gonna feel better til you get this thing off your chest]] KIND? I ALR- ALrE-- EADY TOOK CARE OF THE FIRST ONE WH3N THE [[Wrastle]] WAS OVER. [[Believe It Or !]] I'VE TRIED DOZ- d0ZENS OF TIMES TO FIx MY [[Peepers]] WITH THAT BEFORE... I still do. It never works. DUNNO WHY [Y]! I GUESS MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... sometimes things are simply broken beyond repair. MUCH LIKE MY [[Sicc Shades]]."

[sxfik]

and when the seasons change (will you stand by me?)

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

summary: when kang sol's mother has to work late, she has to take care of byeol. it's just her luck that she has an exam the next day, one for professor yang of all people. joon hwi, being the kind classmate he is, offers to study with her.

or: byeol is solhwi mastermind, and she's says everything we wanted to say to the two dummies.

request by anon: hiya! saw that you do solhwi prompts so I was thinking that Sol A has to babysit byeol but there's a big test the next day so she calls joon hwi over to help her w studying. meanwhile byeol(being iconic) tries to set them up in true shipper fashion.

a/n: this is based on a request i got on tumblr, pictured above! i have around 5 (ish) fics that will go out over the week so stay tuned for those lmao! uh yeah, i don't really know what else to say other than im really sad law school ended so i've just been sad and mopey, but still writing to fill that hole. as always, enjoy <333

Although Joon Hwi was the 'star' student of Hankuk Law School, he was never much for studying. It's not because everything came to him that easily, but because finding the strength to concentrate and study when he could be hanging out with his friends or doing anything better with his time was insanely tempting. Finding the effort to get to the library, and read up on his textbooks was arduous and he always found it easier to study by himself, no distractions around. This was, of course, until Kang Sol came along. For Joon Hwi, everything in his life was turned on its axis when she came into his life.

When he first met her, in Professor Yang's class, she was just the poor girl being grilled by the professor. His heart went out to her, watching her pull her hair out of the bun to avoid the question. He didn’t know what possessed him to answer for her, but he assumed it to be a one time thing. But from the moment she crashed into him yelling "Second Round Judicial Exam, save me!", he was stuck on her.

Slowly, she was everywhere in his life, from the study group to the legal clinic to a majority of his classes. Unlike so many of his classmates, who were by the book and generally clinical in personality, she was a fireball of energy and passion. In class, despite not being the best student, she would argue with so much passion and energy that it was impossible to win against her. It was fascinating, watching her connect and jump from case to case. She would throw herself into everything she believed in, which included defending him from the school and his uncle.

Joon Hwi has liked girls before, but he's never been so captivated and head-over-heels for anyone in his life. Love and dating seemed secondary, and he preferred to keep it out of his life until he reached his goals. You could call him selfish but he prefers to call it being focused on his goals. He's always had one goal in life, and it was to work with the law, whether as a judge or working as police or as a prosecutor.

Yet, if Kang Sol was in the room, his eyes were on her. Whether she was frustrated at him or teasing him or gleeful with him, he couldn't help but smile at her. If she was around, he was right by her side, making her laugh or cringe or annoyed.

So there he was, studying in the school library with Kang Sol. Professor Yang’s exam was right around the corner and unlike last time, he cannot miss the comma in the given case. Plus, he doesn’t even have the excuse of being accused of a murder this time, so both Sol and Joon Hwi were hunched over their books, pouring into the texts when Kang Sol’s phone blared loudly from her bag, startling them both.

Sol cringed as she dug around in her cloth bag, the classic dirty looks tossed her way by the sleep deprived students as she stood to leave the library and take the call. He buried himself back into the textbook, but the concentration was lost and he was more interested in the call she’d gotten than ins and outs of defamation laws.

Around 10 minutes later, Sol was speeding back to her chair, the phone clutched firmly in her hand. But Joon hwi could see her frustration from a mile away. Her face held that pout, her eyebrows furrowed and grumbling under her breath. It was adorable.

But he was worried, considering it was the day before the exam, Sol couldn’t afford to be distracted from her studies. He wasn’t blind to her struggles in school, but Joon Hwi never considered her lesser than him for not being able to pick up the concepts with speed.

Unlike him, and a majority of his classmates, she had passion and a heart when dealing with clients. He could see it in her mannerisms with clients in the legal clinic, patiently explaining the clause or the issues they might face to the client. She’s sympathetic to the max, always hearing out the client’s grievances before making a judgement on what they had done. She was exactly what the world needed: a sympathetic, patient lawyer that was willing to fight for the client, someone that they can cling to. He and every professor in the school knew it, but it seemed Sol was the only one who never realized how essential she was.

Suddenly, he felt himself getting up to gather his materials with her without a second thought, despite the confused look Sol shot him. He wasn’t sure what exactly possessed him to do it, but he knew that if she wasn’t there, he didn’t want to study at the library either. Grinning at her, he walked out, side by side until they were outside the quiet library. She paused in her tracks all of a sudden, taking him by surprise and he paused too, looking back at her, tilting his head in confusion.

"My mom needs to work late today, so I need to rush home and take care of Byeol," she looked up at him finally, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry, Joon hwi but I don't think I'll be able to study for the exam with you," she started to walk away, but he couldn't let her go that easily.

"I'll come with you," he offered, surprising himself, "I'll study with you. Plus, it'll be easier to take care of Byeol with two people than one, right?"

She paused, looking back at him, conflicted. Sighing, Joon Hwi stepped closer to her. "Come on, let's not keep her waiting. Shall we?" He was determined to keep her company, especially since she’d have less time to study since she’d have to take care of Byeol. It was easier this way, and I’d do this for any friend he told himself.

The ride there was slow and quiet, but not an uncomfortable one. They both walked in tandem, with their backpacks filled with everything they'd possibly need to study, and even the bus ride was peaceful, the two of them staring out the window, watching the scenery pass by them. Joon hwi sat beside her, rather than across from her like last time, just to save space on the bus. On the very empty bus they were riding together.

Days like this, where the air was heavy and humid, the earth preparing for a heavy rain, were the most comforting types of days. The air was still warm and humid, making Sol’s hair poof out slightly, her naturally wavy hair frizzing out of her bun. The feeling of her beside him, as if this was a regular ritual for both of them, brought a sense of content in his heart. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, whether it was the girl beside him or the past year’s chaos, but watching the trees and the traffic pass by them brought more peace to his life than ever.

The two made their way into the alleyway, where Joon hwi had once stood guard of when Lee Man Ho once lived, threatening her family. He's standing in front of Kang Sol's house behind her, holding her backpack in hand as she struggles with the keys.

Finally, finally, she gets the door open, and a figure zips by, crashing into Sol. Byeol’s arms wrapped Sol's waist, like the adorable sister she is. Sol stumbled back into him slightly at the sudden weight thrown onto her, but nonetheless, crouched to envelop her sister in a bone-crushing hug. Joon hwi couldn’t help but smile at the two sisters, their love for each other enveloping him

"Unnie!" she grinned up at her, "Did you bring him with you?" Her eyes were serious and wide as Sol opened her mouth to answer.

"Byeol-ah!" Joon hwi yelled out from behind Sol, peaking out to see the 8-year old grinning at him, much wider than she did at Sol. Ha!

"Joonhwi-oppa!" the girl squealed out, leaving Sol's grip to run to him. As she ran to him, he picked her up and twirled her in the air, the girl's giggles echoing through the small alleyway as the two greeted each other.

Sol, standing by the door, smiled faintly before calling out, "Come in, before either of you catch a cold!" Both of them filed in, incessantly chattering as if they hadn't seen each other in months, even though it had only been two weeks since Joon hwi had been by to take the two sisters out to the park.

"Oppa! Why did you come with Unnie?" Byeol asked, finally being set down inside the house, looking up at him curiously as Sol

"Ah, we have an exam tomorrow, so I'm here to study with her," Joon hwi replied.

"Good," the girl jumped onto the couch. "Unnie needs a lot of help," the girl quipped back, nodding her head solemnly, making her look a lot older than 8 years.

"Yah Kang Byeol!" Sol exclaimed, indignantly. Joon hwi chuckled at the two as Sol turned to him. "Here, we can work in the dining room," she moved to grab her backpack from him, stepping towards the dining room.

"NO!" Byeol yelled out at the both of them, her hand flying out to stop the two of them, "Unnie, you should work in your room instead! You know I'll be watching TV and obviously, it'd be too loud for you to focus," the girl rushed out, her doe-eyes a bit too wide, her voice a little too innocent. She is definitely plotting something, Joon hwi narrowed his eyes at her but she avoided the look, choosing to jump off the couch and walk towards them instead.

Before either of them could protest, the girl pushed the both of them towards, presumably, Kang Sol's bedroom. Sol awkwardly laughed at him, Joon hwi shooting her an amused look. They awkwardly stood in her room, Joon hwi avoiding her gaze and choosing to look at the walls instead. Her room here looked similar to the one she had back on campus. Her desk was stacked to the max, sticky notes lining the walls with old reminders and little notes of encouragement. It was neat, but brightly colored, which suited Sol so very well.

“Let’s get started shall we?” Sol finally said, clearing her throat, gesturing for him to set down his books. He obliged, sitting at her desk while she chose her bed. They both set up all their materials, the awkward silence shifting into a peaceful one, the two working themselves into a comfortable rhythm.

It had been almost an hour of straight studying, both of them regurgitating criminal codes and case precedents from memory. Joon hwi was sure that by this point that his mind was complete mush, and Sol was starting to wither, her eyes almost glazed over while she started into one of her casefiles. Her hair was a lot puffier than it was when they started. Turns out, Sol had a habit of ruffling her hair with her pencil each time she was confused or working herself too hard, which was often.

“Let’s take a break shall we? I’m going to get a glass of water,” he said, standing up and stretching his arms out, trying to put the two out of their misery. He yawned, the stiffness in his muscles finally noticeable when he stretched out. She nodded back to him, yawning and stretching out in her chair, before she picked up her phone to check some messages.

He walked out of her room and back to the living room, where byeol was still glued to her seat, her eyes on the TV playing some cartoon. Heading over to the dining table, he poured himself a glass of water with the pitcher, before heading back to check on Byeol.

“What’s this show called?” he asked her, taking a sip of the water while watching the show with her.

“Hm?” Byeol turned to him, “Oh, it’s this show about two kids who set out to find a treasure mapped out by their parents,” she explained, gesturing towards him to take a seat beside him. He obliged, opting to sit beside the girl, both their eyes glued to the screen. A few moments passed by, before the little girl turned towards him.

“You know, my sister’s favorite color is dark green. Not like emerald green, but forest green tinted with some dark blue,” Byeol said nonchalantly. Joon Hwi’s eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why the girl is telling this to him. “And, her favorite ice cream is this nutella infused one that you get down the street, closer to the town square. It’s been her favorite since she was little,” she continued, not giving his confusion any heed. The girl rapidly started telling him facts about her dear sister, all the while confusion took over his features.

“Joonhwi-oppa,” she squinted at him, pausing as her face grew serious, “You like my sister, don’t you?” He sputtered, choking and coughing out the water. “I knew it!” she excitedly squealed.

“Byeol, byeol, shh, you can’t let your sister know okay,” he brought a finger to his lips, his eyes alarmed. For an 8 year old, Byeol was surprisingly cunning and observant. She had managed to figure out what he had been struggling with for the past year after just a few short visits. They shared a look of understanding between the two, before the girl turned her attention to the show, leaving Joon Hwi walking back to Sol’s room. The Kang Sisters,  he shook his head, laughing as he thought, what a perfect duo.

bonus

It had been almost 3 hours of studying together before Kang Sol realized that the sun had set outside, and all of a sudden, they were in a rush to clean up. Joon hwi had to leave before the dorms closed entrance and because of their studying, the two of them had their head buried in books since the time they got to her house.

She was glad to have him over though. Despite her hesitation at the school and fears of inconveniencing him, having Joon hwi made the process a lot smoother. With his careful and gentle help, she had a much easier time understanding the concepts and she was eternally grateful, considering Professor Yang’s exams were always some of the toughest.

They were rushing out of the house, his backpack in her hand as he hurriedly put on his shoes and stepped outside the house. But before Joon hwi could turn with a hurried goodbye, she called out to him, her breath suddenly lodged in her throat.

“Thank you,” she quietly told him, the prospect of looking into his eyes as he leaned over her doorstep daunting. “Thank you for helping me, Joon hwi, it was really kind of you,” she beamed at him, trying to convey her gratitude and more in the only way she knew possible.

They both paused, looking at each other as the air got thicker between them, as if a string was drawing him closer to her. She watched as he swallowed slightly, his adam’s apple moving slightly before he let out a soft “You���re welcome,” and a classic smile, before he rushed out, trying to catch his bus.

She sighed, watching him as he rushed off, capturing the bus. Soon, she thought, Soon, I’ll tell him how I feel. She reassured herself, turning around only to find Byeol hiding behind a pillar.

“Byeol? What are you doing, weren’t you watching a show?” she questioned her sister, but Byeol made no response. Suddenly her sister frowned at her, muttering something about how can she possibly be a lawyer and she’s so blind, leaving her in utter confusion at the front steps.

[mymelodyheart]

Miles Between Us Chapter 9 ~The Mediation~

Previously in Light Vs Dark ...

Tears streamed down her face as he grabbed his phone and keys and made his way out. He couldn't get out of the cottage fast enough. His heart hammered, his ears started to ring, his lungs squeezing out the last air. He'd hurt her. He'd seen the bruises with his eyes, and now she's crying because of him. He needed to get out fast to clear his head.

She followed him closely behind. "Please tell me where you're going, Jamie. At least give me that," she pleaded.

He couldn't stand to see her tears anymore or hear the plea in her voice. He was doing what's right for her because he loved her too much. He wasn't even sure where he was going or if anyone would be safe in his presence. All he could think of was how frightened his sister had looked at him and the bruises he'd inflicted in Claire's arms. He needed to get as far away as possible, away from the people he loved.

He got into his car, slammed the door, and started the engine.

Claire banged on his window, her face wet with tears. "Don't do this, Jamie. We can fix this together. Please don't go. I'm begging you."

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

If you wish to read this from the beginning:

AO3 link

Tumblr link

The sun blazed through the windows, but instead of feeling delighted with the promise of a beautiful day, Claire felt hollow.

Earlier, moving on autopilot, she'd numbly climbed out of bed, showered and gathered all the will and strength she could summon and prepared to face the day. Though a part of her would rather curl into a ball under the duvet until Jamie returns, she made a Herculean effort to stay positive for sanity's sake. It should have given her comfort knowing Jamie was safe after Willie had informed her he'd been spotted at three in the morning at Lallybroch's driveway in his car and was now resting in his childhood home. But her eyes would prickle with tears every time she stood still and stared into space. So Claire kept herself busy, feeding Jamie's pets, letting them out of the house, doing a bit of laundry and setting up her work station for the day on the dining table. Currently, there were things that needed attending to, like her own work, and anytime soon, Willie would be arriving.

She was just about to open her laptop when there was a knock on the kitchen's back door.

She knew it was Willie. "Door's open," she croaked.

Willie walked in and stopped. A line formed between his brows, reminding her so much of Jamie she felt the beginning of tears welling up. "Hey, how are ye?" he asked.

With more enthusiasm than she had in her, she gave him a small smile. "I'm hanging in there. How's Jamie?"

"He's asleep ...last time I heard from ma."

"How about you? You look like you didn't get much rest either."

"Knackered," he replied, shoving his hands into his jeans' pocket. "The bloody git sent us on a merry chase. And now he gets to sleep the whole day while I'm left to pick up the slack at work."

Claire knew Willie was trying to make light of things. Needing to move, she stood and made her way to the kitchen, having the sudden urge to keep her hands busy. It would have been easier if she'd asked Willie to take her to Lallybroch. But there had been a reason for her decision to stay put. She needed to remind herself, there's a probability her presence could make Jamie's condition worsened after having seen his reaction to her bruise last night. Even if in the light of day, nothing seemed good enough excuse to be separated from him.

"Would you like something to drink? Coffee or tea?" she offered. "I could use a strong cuppa."

"Coffee would be grand."

Conscious of Willie watching, she went through the motion of taking out cups and switching on the coffee machine. When she opened the fridge to retrieve some milk, she accidentally nudged one of Jamie's magnets on the door, sending a post-it note to slip down. Automatically bending down, she picked up the piece of paper from the floor.

As she turned it the other way round and read it, a cross between a sob and a laugh broke passed through her mouth. It was a note Jamie had written to her just the other day.

Gone to work. Bought some croissants, and they're in the bread bin just in case Adso gets his grubby paws on it first. Can't wait to see you later. Missing you already. Love you. X

"Oh, damn it." Claire leaned over the countertop, pressing the note with one hand on her chest. "I-I can't do this."

Willie came up behind her and touched her elbow, gently turning her to face him. "Ye cannae do exactly what, Claire?" he asked, a look of concern etching his face.

"Pretend Jamie is fine." She squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them again, she let out a lungful of air. "When we first met, he was in a good place. And I have this strong feeling that I am making his condition more frequent and worse."

"No, Claire ...dinnae speak like that."

She glanced down at Jamie's note, and when she felt prickles behind her eyelids, she slipped the piece of paper in her jean's pocket and shook her head. "How can Jamie and I be together if I'm the one triggering his nightmares and anxiety? Before I came along, his episodes were a rare occurrence. And now here I am making that classic mistake of attempting to fix a man." Her breathing suddenly became laboured, like she'd raced ten miles. "I wish I could be by his side. I know it's selfish wanting to be with him right now when I'm the reason for his distress. But I do. On the other hand, logic tells me, it's probably a good thing all those memories he hasn't dealt with are finally coming to the surface, so at least we have something to work on. I just wish there was a less unpleasant way for Jamie to handle all of these." She glanced out the window, unseeing the beautiful view in the sun.

When the silence dragged on for too long, Claire turned to face Willie and was surprised to see him smiling. "Cannae ye see it yet, Claire? Ye are not making Jamie's condition worse. In fact, ye have been helping him heal all this time."

She frowned. She was confused. "What do you mean? I don't understand."

Willie took the portafilter and began filling it with coffee for her. "Ye said it yersel'. The suppressed memories are coming to the surface." He shrugged as he worked the coffee machine. "Meaning, after all these years, Jamie can finally confront them head-on, deal with it and lay it to rest once and for all. Isn't that what his dreams are trying to tell him? He's forgone dealing with grief and issues that it had nowhere to go to except present itself as this monstrous nightmare and panic attacks. And then ye came along, and somehow, ye've extracted more out from him than all his therapists put together."

A nervous laugh gurgled from her throat. "I might have been able to do that, but at what cost? Jamie could've hurt himself last night." She'd worried at the speed he'd taken off, thinking if anything grievous had resulted from it, she would have been so utterly devastated, she'd blamed herself. "He needs professional help, Willie. It can't go on like this."

"He does," he agreed, pressing the button on the coffee machine. "But Jamie needs you too, more than ever ...even if he believes he's a danger to ye."

"But he didn't hurt me."

He pushed the stop button on the coffee machine. "May I see the bruise?"

"Of course." She rolled up her sweatshirt sleeves. "I told him I bruise easily. I have an iron deficiency which I'm taking supplements for."

Willie studied the markings on her arms. "They're not that bad."

"No, they're not. I tried to convince him, but he won't listen. I only need to pinch my skin, and I bruise. It's a symptom of being anaemic."

Willie sighed. "Jamie won't be easily convinced, though. Weel ...at least not until he's calmed down."

"He used to have a therapist. Why isn't he seeing one now?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her. "I know he's against taking pills for his condition, but surely talking to a professional would help him a lot."

"He has nothing against seeing a therapist ..." he replied matter-of-factly as he handed her the coffee. "...just a particular one."

"Oh!" She took the cup from Willie and watched him make another one for himself. "May I know why?"

"Her name is Geneva Dunsany. She's the only available therapist in Broch Mordha. She took over Jamie's former therapist after he left for England." He paused to look at her. "Ye see ...a few years back, my da remortgage Lallybroch and then when the recession came, our family was hit hard financially and had trouble paying the bank. To cut a long story short, Jenny, our meddling sister, knew Geneva was infatuated with Jamie. Since Geneva comes from a well-off family, Jenny thought by playing matchmaker, she would solve everyone's problems single-handedly. Ever since then, my sister has been trying to get them together. So when she heard Jamie's therapist left for England, she encouraged Geneva to take the job even though she already had one in another town. Jamie is quite perceptive, though and knew what our wee sister was up to. Hence he refused to see Geneva."

"That's a bit sneaky."

"Ye can say that again. Geneva might have a wee crush on Jamie, but I dinnae think she's aware of Jenny's meddling, even though they're friends. Jenny thinks she's doing Jamie a favour by finding him a lass who lives here and can help him with his condition. Jen is practical like that."

"I've met her, actually. The therapist that is. We were introduced ...just before I went back to London," she explained, thinking back to the day when she first met Jenny and Geneva. And she's beautiful too, she thought grudgingly. Although Jamie had never given Claire reason to feel jealous before, every muscle in her body had gone rigid, hearing Willie's account on Jamie's would-be therapist. Jealousy continued to roll in like a lick of a flame as the image of Jamie pouring his heart out to a beautiful woman burned hot in her guts. The sudden urgent need to see him made her want to sprint out of the cottage at full speed, but a dose of decorum kept her rooted on the spot. "So, Jamie wasn't interested, huh? Not even the teeny, tiniest bit?" she squeaked, annoyed at the sudden change in her voice.

She thought she saw a muscle twitched along Willie's jaw, but she must have imagined it. Looking like he was sucking the inside of his cheek, he shook his head. "No. Never. And ye have nought to worry about, Claire. Jamie only has eyes for ye."

She swallowed the bitter taste of doubt. "Not worried," she lied, sipping her coffee. But in the true sense of the word, she already felt loads better after the enlightening conversation with Willie. It had taken the edge off her worry over Jamie's condition, even though she still couldn't erase the thought of Jenny pushing Jamie towards Geneva.

"Maybe ye should attend a therapy session with Jamie ...at least initially," he suggested, eyeing her closely as if trying to read her thoughts. "That way, it would put Jamie at ease, and Geneva would realise he's taken already."

Claire slowly placed her cup on the countertop. "Why do I get the feeling this meddling thing is inherent in your family?" she asked, feigning disapproval.

Willie put his own cup down. "Not inherent, Claire. I have my own selfish motive. Ye're the best friend of my Annalise, and I wouldn't be helping my cause if she finds out I've done nought to help ye." When Claire gasped, he grinned. "Kidding aside, even if Annalise wasn't my girlfriend, I want ye to know, I really like you for my brother."

Claire could barely see through the tears she hadn't been aware that was building up. "You sound so sure."

Willie placed his hand over hers and squeezed it. "Are ye sure about my brother?"

"With all my heart," she whispered.

"That's all I need to know."

..........

Jamie slowly opened his eyes and took in the familiar surroundings of his old room. His heart throbbed when he realised the last time he'd slept here had been on New Year's eve, with Claire tucked snuggly on the crook of his arm. Bracing himself up on his elbows, he heard his mother talking to Jenny and his da downstairs. They were probably in the kitchen discussing his state.

He rubbed his face with one hand, feeling the beginning of a day-old stubble, exhaustion washing over him in waves. A mixture of self-loathing and guilt rose within as he replayed the incident from the night before. He couldn't decide what pained him the most, the bruises he'd inflicted on Claire or the fact he'd left her in tears standing in his driveway.

When he'd taken off from his cottage, his heart had been heavy and thoughts dark, not having had any clue what he wanted to do or where to go, only determinedly pushing himself to get as far away from Claire as possible. A few hours later, he'd found himself parked outside his childhood home after Willie and Murtagh had woken him up in his car. So far, he'd only talked to his older brother Willie, and he hoped it would be enough to keep the rest of his family's questions at bay.

Sitting up, he realised he was still in his clothes. He searched for his phone and found it on the nightstand. Swiping the screen, he saw he had a few missed calls from clients and a voice message from Claire. Willie must have switched his phone to silence.

I should call her, he thought. It wouldn't be that difficult. Her voice would soothe him, and her lack of judgement would make him feel like he's on solid ground. He could show his worst, and he knew she'd still be there, smiling and soothing him with words, just like last night. Every hour that passed without seeing her or hearing from her put him a little more off centre, and he could see how too reliant he was becoming on those breaths of fresh air that sprung from her. He shook his head. She was too precious to be with someone who had this nonstop ugliness embedded in the insides of his head. It would only be a matter of time before he dragged her into his hell. He couldn't do that to her.

He was about to tap on Claire's voice message when he was alerted by a double knock on the door.

"Jamie, are ye awake, son?" It was his father.

"Come in," he answered, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

The door opened, and he saw his mother walk in first with a mug of tea. "My darling boy," she smiled, placing the hot brew on the bedside table. "I thought ye could use a bit of something warm in yer belly. How are ye feeling?" She stooped down and kissed him on the forehead.

Jamie scooted back to the headboard to make space for his mother while his father took the chair. "Exhausted," he said honestly. Although he'd slept all morning, it hadn't been a restful sleep.

His father, Brian, cleared his throat. "So ... what's going on with ye, lad?" he asked, cutting to the chase as usual.

Ellen sent her husband a warning glare before refocusing her attention back to Jamie. "Whenever ye're ready, darling," she reassured him, patting his thigh. "Willie vaguely told us what happened, and Jenny is beside herself thinking she triggered yer panic attack yesterday. And Claire ...ye never told us she's here. She's worried sick about ye."

Jamie sighed. "What's there to tell." He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "It wasnae Jenny's fault. It's just the same old, same old. The only difference this time is, I made a stupid mistake getting Claire involved with me. And I'm hurting her in the process."

Ellen briefly looked at her husband. "I find that hard to believe, Jamie. Ye're such a gentle soul, ye could never ever hurt a fly even if it's bugging ye to bits. Did ye two have a fight? Did Claire say ye were hurting her?" she asked Jamie gently.

"No. I just know I am."

"Oh, darling ..."

"So that's it ..." Brian raised his hands in the air before letting them drop to his sides. "Ye're giving in to this condition ye've fought hard against all yer life when the chance for happiness finally present itsel' to ye because ye THINK ye are hurting Claire. Is that what ye're trying to tell us? Because believe ye me, we didnae raise a violent or abusive son. So enlighten us ...where in heaven's name is this all coming from?"

"Brian!"

"It's a futile fight," Jamie blurted before taking a deep breath. "Trust me ... I'd like to have what ye both have. But at what cost? Look at the state of me. Is this the kind of man Claire deserves? She's willing to turn her life upside down for me, and for what? Only to find out later she'd saddled herself with a mentally ill man. So perhaps it's for the best she lucked out early before its too late for either of us."

His mother moved closer to his side and took his hand. "So let me get this straight. Ye're staying away from Claire because ye like her a lot, and ye're afraid to hurt her." Pain clenched tight on his vocal cords, incapacitating him to answer, but she interpreted his silence as a yes. Even though it's far more complex than that. "Oh, sweet lord, how youth is so wasted on the young," she clucked.

"Aye, perhaps." He rubbed a hand behind his neck. "But trust me, I ken fine what the problem is."

"Oh, is that so?"

His father's sarcasm wasn't lost on him, but he ignored it in favour of the pressure sinking into his chest. "I ken I hold back a lot from everyone, and I ken too that's wrong. When things get too much, I keep my mouth shut. And I dinnae realised at first that suffering in silence damages, instead of helping. Though it's easier said than done, I'm working on it. All I ever wanted was no' to be a burden or be the cause of anyone's pain. Claire deserves more."

Ellen sighed. "Jamie ...Jamie ... ye're never a burden. Ye're a delight, and we're so proud of ye. Ye need to understand, ever since ye were a wee bairn, ye've always needed a purpose, like fixing everyone's problem because it gave ye satisfaction to see ye've righted someone's world. Whenever someone was hurting, ye're always the first to reach out." Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I thought it was endearing at first until it began to take over yer life. The trauma you've gone through only amplified yer true nature to a point it wasnae healthy anymore. And the guilt that came with it when ye can do nought and thought you've failed ...almost destroyed ye every time." She shifted on the bed. "Jamie ...ye have to stop denying yersel' a chance for happiness because ye're afraid of hurting or failing someone. Pain is part of life. It's inevitable. Though it's good of ye to think of others first, sometimes, it's also good to let others carry that burden for ye and help ye. Running away because ye're afraid of hurting someone is no' gonnae to do anyone any good. Ye'll only end up hurting yersel'. And when that happens, who's going to help ye?"

His mother's logic made sense, but the chatter in his brain continued to hold its ground. "Claire's been through a lot, ma."

"And so have ye, son," Brian interjected, firmly.

"But what if I make things worse for both of us?"

"Oh my sweet boy, what if ye end up happy together?" Ellen smiled. "I ken a crystal ball would come in handy right now, but because we dinnae have one, the only way to find out is to take the risk and hope for the best. Just like what Claire is doing."

Jamie shut his eyes for a while and pictured them together. Every fibre in his body was screaming to get in his car and drive back to Broch Mordha and start making it up to Claire. But his mother was right ...he needed help. He didn't want to put Claire through all that misery again, so he decided right there and then he would start attending therapy afresh. It was the way forth, and he'd held off attending therapy for too long, which might have worsened his condition. But first things first. He needed to be in the right headspace to start doing anything.

"Fine, I'll call the clinic later for an appointment but do ye mind if I rest some more. I'm still feeling a bit off."

The chair scraped the wooden floor as Brian stood up. "Aye, of course. Ye look worn to a frazzle."

Ellen reached out and pulled Jamie into her arms and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll be downstairs if ye need anything." She got up and ruffled his hair as if he was still a wee boy. "And I've made leek and tattie soup in case ye're hungry."

"Thanks, ma."

His parents were just about to walk out when Jenny strode in. "Hey."

Jamie rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "Jenny, can we talk later? I'd like to be alone for a bit."

Brian and Ellen gave his sister a warning look as they left the room, but she just shrugged. "I promise this willnae take long. Please, Jamie?"

Jamie waved a hand. "Fine. What is it?"

He watched his sister retrieve something from her jeans' pocket. "Mrs Fitz from the Airbnb gave me this. One of her clients staying over her place left an Oxford Mail newspaper a couple of weeks ago. As she was browsing through it, she came across Claire's name." She handed him a newspaper clipping. "Looks like yer wee girlfriend is an heiress."

"What? Let me see that."

Jamie skimmed through the short article about some property in Fox Lane, Boars Hill in Oxford. It said it was formerly part of the Berkeley Castle Estate. The original part of the house had been designed by the celebrated architect Sir Ernest George for Lord Berkeley, a family ancestor from her mother side. The house had apparently garnered loads of interest among the local rich after being recently vacated by a local MP. It mentioned the original owners' name as Henry and Julia Beauchamp, deceased, and the heiress as Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp.

Was this the South Lodge property Claire had been talking about she'd inherited from her parents? He hadn't really given it much thought ever since she'd casually mentioned it. This was a far cry from the cabin in the woods he'd envisioned.

"Three million pounds for a house!" Jenny broke through his reflection. "Doesn't it make ye wonder what else she inherited?"

Jamie looked at the paper again. That's what the house is worth? Ach, Christ! Even the Oxford gossip found its way to Broch Mordha. He knew Claire would be mortified if the news of her assets became everyone's favourite topic of conversation.

Folding the note, he handed it back to his sister. He saw Claire a little differently now. All that money in the world and all she only ever wanted was a place to belong to. Suddenly he felt awful for leaving her last night. He shook his head at his sister. "Not a word about this to any of yer mates!" he warned her. "Or else ..."

Jenny's eyes widened. "What do ye take me for?"

"A babble merchant," he ribbed, unsmiling. "Now, let me be."

"Ye're no' angry at me still, are ye?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm just exhausted."

"Can I do anything for ye?"

He puffed out a breath. Jenny was looking at him earnestly, and he knew she only wanted to reach out. "Aye, in fact, ye can. Ye can arrange that appointment with the therapist for me."

She smiled, seemingly happy to please. "Right on it. If ye need anything else ..."

"Aye, aye, I'll let ye know."

Jenny left, and somehow, he felt a little less heavy in the heart than he did when he woke up earlier. Grabbing his phone, he tapped play on Claire's voice message.

"Hey, it's me. Just letting you know how much I miss you. I felt a little sad earlier, so I wandered into a cafe in the village centre after Willie left. They had this upbeat music playing in the background. It's an old song. Probably from the eighties or nineties, I'm not quite sure. It's pretty cheesy, but it brought a smile to my face. And now I can't get the music out of my head. Maybe if you listen to it too, it will bring a smile to your face. It's from Rick Astley, Never Gonna Give You Up." There was a pause before she spoke again. "Right, I'll let you rest. Willie told me that's what you've been doing. I'm going to take Rollo out for a walk now and try to get some work done. I'll text and send you a voice message later. I love you."

Ah, Sassenach! He swiped the screen to phone her, but his phone beeped and died. Ah, shite! He wanted to go and see her now but stopped. He had to take steps to make himself better first. He needed to put in the hours to help himself. She deserved the extra time he would put in because she's not getting half-arsed from him again. But for now ...

He scrambled out of bed and opened the bedroom door.

"Ma!" he called out.

"What is it, dear?"

"Do ye still have all yer old music from yer university days?"

"Anything in particular?"

He cringed inwardly. Ah, fuck! "Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley?"

He thought he heard females sniggering downstairs.

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for your patience with the previous chapter and, mostly, the feedback and beautiful comments. I hope this latest update felt a lot lighter to read. I'll keep this short as I'm drained today; nevertheless, I wish you a great weekend.

Looking forward to reading what you think of this update. Take care always, and keep those love vibes rolling. Much love. X

[ageoldamateur]

Introduction to my OC (Full story release!)

I think I should at least try to post the entire story now that I finished writing it.

While this is my first story posted here and my very first G/T story I have ever written, I have to apologize anyway for the way this story is set out as I do not know enough about Tumblr to formulate them into the same style as other writers here (Canadian policy, I must apologize to keep my citizenship). I don’t know how to bold letters or put symbols up, so I will just write as I would normally.

Also, while this is the first introduction of my Tinysona until Pixie draws me, this does not mean that I will not change anything later when I grow more comfortable with my Tinysona.

TW: Pre-vore, Safe/Soft Vore

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I need to introduce myself, should I?

You can call me Spartan and 2 months ago, I was a normal person. Just about to turn 22, I was thin and healthy and should have been happy with my life.Then I meddled with magic and ended up as small as the average finger. However, that spell also granted me strength, agility, and endurance many times that of my previous self, which I believe is a good enough trade off. Still, I needed food and safety, so I went looking for a place before getting taken in by Rose, another human who seemed to be completely fine with having a tiny living with her. I will later find out why later...

Rose sat at the table, a large hardcover book sitting in front of her. One hand held her chin while the other lightly wrapped around Spartan, who was using her fingers as hand holds so that he could see the pages. This was the third book of the series and both of them were concentrating, leaving the air still in the morning rays.

Standing on Rose’s shoulder with one of her fingers pressing against his collarbone, Spartan finished the page and set his head down on the finger. He had only known Rose for 2 months now, but it felt like a lifetime. He only had to live a life alone and shrunken for a few days before he found comfort in Rose. Of course, he had scared the daylights out of her when he first got her attention, but the bruise faded the next day and he was able to talk to her as an equal after that.

Now, they lived as a couple, or as much as you can when one of the people was the size of a finger and thus couldn’t work a job or around the house. It infuriated him, but Spartan tried to make it up by working on her computer and organizing everything there while Rose did her job. There were only sparse moments where she would read with him, so he treasured them and hoped that she didn’t mind that he couldn’t handle the books she owned.

Spartan spared a glance towards Rose, her green eyes steadily following each line on the page. If he was regular size, he highly doubted he would have landed anyone like her and even now still wondered why she let him stay. Sure, he did some tasks around the house, but nothing she couldn’t do faster and more effectively than him. Maybe there was something he wasn’t seeing.

Looking back down, his eyes focused on the finger that was closest to his head. Spartan was no stranger to the weird impulses that he got (autism never made anyone normal), but he took some time to ponder what the impulse was before acting on it.

Rose just finished the last paragraph of the page when she felt a soft pressure on her finger that held Spartan. Confused, she glanced down, using her freed hand (the one not holding Spartan) to brush aside her hair. Sure enough, Spartan was gently biting the side of her finger; in no way close to hurt, but much life how a dog holds something in his mouth. Rose was close enough to notice how Spartan’s eyes were unfocused, a sign that he was dissociated from the world around him.

“Are you biting me?” Rose asked skeptically. Snapping back into the real world, Spartan quickly let go.

“No! No, I wasn't biting you. I was just resting my mouth on …” His excuse died on his lips as he realized that he really did not have one other than an impulse, which sounded as hollow as the one he just said. Rose just stared at him for a moment longer, Spartan blushing and looking away, then slightly shrugged and turned the page.

***later that same day***

Spartan woke up the phone and checked the time.

7:37. He still has over half an hour until he expects Rose to leave work. Perfect.

Spartan quickly unlocked it and picked his playlist: a collection of sea shanties and folk songs. While Rose knew about the playlist, he never played it for her; different music tastes were perfectly fine in a relationship as long as they understood what the other wanted to listen to. Spartan usually listened to the playlist while working or in this case when he was finished and wanted to belt out songs.

As he picked out a song to start the playlist on, he mentally checked the list again, even though the physical copy was lying on the table in the kitchen, marked by himself. He did all the preparations for Rose’s taxes, organized the cabinet and the food within, and made sure Rose’s makeup was up to date. He had also given Chilly some exercise even though that wasn’t part of his list; though the cat understood Spartan’s place in the household, it still didn’t stop the kitten from chasing him around the house whenever she got the zoomies.

Spartan finally settled on a classic; “Home Boys Home,” by the Skullduggers. Pressing play, the music blared out of the bluetooth speakers; not loud enough to cause a noise complaint, but probably too loud for his ears health. Spartan sprang onto the coffee table and began to sing at the same level of the music, arms singing by his side as he paced around and followed the music.

As the song changed, Spartan would take a moment to recall the lyrics, then bounced to the beat. He didn’t know how long he sang for (he knew almost all of them by heart), but he had eventually grown tired enough to sit on the table, hands behind him and legs outstretched. He couldn’t see the clock, but suspected Rose to arrive home at any moment. When he heard the door open, he would turn off his music.

Spartan felt the warmth before the teeth met his chest. He flinched out of fear, letting out a manly squeak as they gripped his torso and lifted him off the table. Rose held Spartan sideways in her mouth much like a cat would a fish she caught and flopped down on the couch, turning off the music with a tap on the phone.

“Jeepers, Rose! I didn’t hear you come home!” Spartan said, his free left arm keeping Rose’s lips from suffocating him. He wasn’t necessarily stuck, he was much stronger than he appeared to be, but he still didn’t know how much his augmented endurance could endure should Rose bite down. “When did you arrive?”

Rose loosened her mouth, letting go of Spartan so that he tumbled off her chin and landed on her chest. “About an hour ago, before you began to sing your songs. I had a short day today, but decided to climb in through the window cause I didn’t want to deal with Gabe’s smoking in the hallway again.

“You really didn’t notice me gathering snacks and getting ready for movie night?” She asked. Spartan blushed, noticing now that Rose’s arms and hands were full of treats. That would explain why he ended up in her mouth, though the way she did grab him (sideways so that his head wasn’t in her mouth) meant she would have had to have craned her neck at an awkward angle in order to grab him.

“Sorry Rose, I guess I was quite invested in my music.” Spartan said, stepping a little closer to her collarbone, if only to get away from the potential awkwardness of being sandwiched in her breasts. “What movie did you pick?”

Rose grinned and pointed towards the TV where the DVD was sitting. Spartan bounded over and took a glance. “A Sizable Matter”, directed by Rogers Phill <fictional, don’t need to look it up>. It was advertised as ‘safe and fun for the whole family with stunning action and a romance of unusual proportions��. Ratings appeared good, but Spartan knew not to trust those. Before he shrunk, he had seen the critically acclaimed “5th Element” and thought it was terrible and sexist in a modern standard.

But, this was another one of those times where he could hang out with Rose, so he popped it out and slid it into the player. He hopped back as Rose began working on some gummies. Spartan chose one for himself and began munching; he wasn’t much into sweets on the regular but hey, he could treat himself if he wanted to.

The movie was actually really good, alternating perspectives between the race of Giants and humans. The main character was known as a Shifter, which meant they could alternate between the size of a giant or a human. It was their duty to solve the conflict between the two races with the help of several side characters.

Both Spartan and Rose were invested, Spartan resting on Rose’s throat, only slightly distracted by her swallowing. Eventually, the movie reached a close, the Shifter and their friends having almost finalized a treaty before a full fledged war happened. However, the main villain triggered a trap that sparked the war to happen in earnest. Just as the Shifter and their allies were about to head off again, the movie ended.

“Oh, are you kidding me?!” Spartan shouted, falling off of Rose in the process of reacting to the abrupt ending of the movie. Rose didn’t react to the same effect, she wasn't as invested in films like Spartan; yet she did utter a grunt of annoyance.

Rose watched as Spartan fell off the couch, thudding onto the ground and lying there splayed right beside some fallen Gummy bears. “I don’t know about you, I really enjoyed the movie.”

“Same here, but my goodness, there needs to be a sequel made immediately!” Spartan said, grabbing one of the gummies and hugging it to his chest. “The Shifter was the best character! They were so wholesome and adorable; the moments where the movie decides to slow down and let us watch them just cuddle their friends were perfect breaks in between all of the combat scenes!”

“I agree,” Rose said, reaching down to grab the gummies around Spartan, “they were the ideal hero. Though if I am to be honest, I grabbed the movie because of one scene shown in the trailer.”

“What scene was that?” Spartan extended his arms towards Rose with the Gummy in hand.

Rose smiled. From the floor, Spartan suddenly got worried as he saw his friend from a very different perspective. “This one.” She said.

Her fingers reached past the extended Gummy and grabbed Spartan’s chest, wrapping gently around him. Popping the other Gummy bears into her mouth, she raised Spartan over her head and gave him a good view of the inside of throat. She swallows, Spartan watching as they disappear down her gullet. He dropped the one he was holding, it landing on her tongue and then joining the others in her stomach.

Spartan knew the scene of which she was referring to. A giant monster had nearly eaten one of the Shifters' friends much like the predicament he was in currently. However, Spartan assumed that no hero was going to be saving him from this maw.

With no more gummies to eat in her mouth, Rose closed her mouth and locked eyes with Spartan. She smiled at him and Spartan returned it, though a bit confused as to what was happening. She lowered him down towards her mouth, still smiling. Spartan closed his eyes.

And Rose gave him a kiss, her lips almost sucking his face off before she pulled him back. “Oh, don’t worry yourself, I won’t be doing anything to you. After all, you are the only man who has ever cared about me.” She set him down on the coffee table and let her arm hang off the couch.

Spartan, still a little confused at the sequence of events that had just happened, sat up and watched Rose settle down and cover her eyes with her right hand. He crossed his legs and listened as Rose spoke.

“Before you scared the living daylights out of me, I hated my life. My job felt like it was draining me of energy and there was only Chilly at my home which felt more like a burden than a blessing. I had no one who I felt like cared about my interests, checked to make sure I ate, and accompanied me when I went out. I honestly felt like there was no reason for my life.

“Then you appeared, asking for my help. And once I got over my shock of your appearance, I realized that I could help you, I had a purpose again. Now whenever I get home, I can look forward to hanging out with you to read my favourite book or play chess or just talk and chill. It was like having a boyfriend that never demanded sex or asked for favors. It was like a dream come true.

“In more ways than one…” Rose mumbled.

“You are into vore?”

Judging by the silence of Rose, Spartan thought right, though her example kind of gave it away as well. Spartan stood up and hopped back onto the couch, crawling onto Rose’s stomach. Rose raised her arm to look at him.

“Rose, I have been so blessed to have been able to meet you. It boggles me to think that if I didn’t cast this spell I would not have met you or even be able to get to know you. I wouldn’t have been able to know that you enjoy mystery and steampunk stories, or that your favourite colour to wear is red because it reminds you of Autumn. I wouldn’t know that you were mistaken for a boy all the way up till grade 11 and you learned how to cook from your older brother.” Spartan said, walking up towards her head.

“You said your life got a purpose once I entered it. Well, I didn’t know what I was missing until I began to live with you. I found that I was capable of love and was worthy of affection. I was allowed to be weird and helpful and now that I have learned that I have helped you? I feel like I have actually done something for you now.” Spartan allowed himself to fall forward onto Rose’s cheek, giving his giant friend a hug to the best of his abilities.

Rose closed her eyes, feeling the closure of her tiny friend. She allowed her mind to wander and thought about a scenario where she could have met Spartan when he was the same size as her. Rose probably would not have spared him a second glance at a man just going through the motions. But because of a happy little accident, she had a person who shared feelings with her sitting on her face.

“Soooo… this vore thing.”

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing! Forget about it!” Rose said quickly, picking up Spartan and setting him down on the couch, sitting up as well.

“No, no, I am sorry if it is too awkward to talk about it!” Spartan said as he was set down. ‘It’s just… I also might be into it.”

Rose froze, mouth slightly opened. Spartan continued, “Of course, I have only used my imagination, so I have no clue if I would actually enjoy being swallowed, feeling the warmth of someone I love surrounding me.”

Spartan looked up at Rose, a flush creeping across his cheeks. “I never thought there would be a chance for me to make it a reality. Actually, that sounds quite selfish. I never thought I would be given the opportunity to experience it. Er, or that you would offer. Wait, you didn’t offer, I was just rambling, or am rambling, or just talking to myself-”

Rose poked him in the chest, pinning him down with her hand and her finger covering his mouth. It covered most of his face, leaving just one eye to lock in on hers as she leaned down towards him.

“You’re so lucky you are cute,” Rose said softly, “or else I would never be able to stand you.” Rose smiled and Spartan could see the warmth in it; despite the teasing, she really did care for him. Adjusting her grip, she picked up Spartan, holding him up towards her face.

She sighed, “I am actually going to do this, aren’t I?” she said more to herself, looking Spartan up and down. “Do you consent to being swallowed up by a hot and beautiful girl?”

Spartan looked around. “I don’t see one around, is she hiding?” He smiled at his joke as Rose scoffed. “I consent to be swallowed up by a hot, beautiful, intelligent, and amazing girl.” Spartan said slowly and clearly, locking eyes with Rose.

“Well, since I’m the only girl in the room, I hope that means me.” Rose said nonchalantly. Taking a steadying breath, she put Spartan into her mouth feet first. He fit without too much difficulty, squishing comfortably past her teeth as he was pushed all the way in.

Rose didn’t know what she expected to taste, but it certainly didn’t taste as exhilarating as the fics she had read led her to believe. Also, he was quite large now that he was in her mouth; normally she wouldn’t notice but because she didn’t dare chew, all she really did was move Spartan back and forth in her mouth.

Spartan was holding his breath just in case he realized that he couldn’t breath in there. Other than that, he absolutely enjoyed his time, rolling over and over again across the sticky surface, occasionally bumping into the teeth. He could feel that Rose was trying her best to get comfortable with him, but was struggling.

“Ugh, ‘ow ‘o ‘hey ‘ake it ‘ook so easy?” Rose said, opening her mouth to speak and give Spartan some fresh air. She let her tongue rest and felt her throat relax as well. Getting a spike of courage, she started to tilt her head back.

“That’s the same question I would expect some newly weds would ask.” Spartan said, his voice barely making it out of her mouth.

Rose snorted, then gagged as Spartan’s bare feet hit her tonsils. Still chuckling and coughing, Rose spat out Spartan into her hand and turned away to cough into her elbow. Spartan sat on Rose’s hand, curled up with his knees to his chest now that he was out of the warm environment.

“*cough* You really said that at the *cough* worst time, Spartan.” Rose said, starting to recover. She looked back at Spartan sitting in her hand, worrying that she had hurt him when she convulsed. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine, though I feel like I just got out of a nice warm hot tub.” Spartan said honestly. “I don’t know if you are comfortable with this yet, though. I might be too big for you to go all the way with, no offence.”

Spartan stood up on Rose’s hand, eyes towards the ground to hide his disappointment. “I did enjoy being in your mouth, though. It was exactly as I imagined it to be; warm, comfortable, and the closest I’ve been to you bef-”

Rose, in a surge of frustration, shoved Spartan not too gently up and then down, effectively overriding her natural gag reflex through sheer speed. She swallowed hard, feeling Spartan slide down with ease before catching her breath. Then she realized what she had just done.

“Oh heck… I really did just eat him,” Rose said softly, looking down at her stomach. She jumped up, rushing over towards the bathroom. Just as she opened the door, she heard Spartan.

“Rose? You sound panicked, is everything okay?” His voice was muffled, but clear enough to understand. The voice was definitely coming from her stomach and Rose could feel Spartan shifting around to get comfortable. Rose sighed, leaning up against the sink and looking at herself in the mirror.

“Yeah, I am feeling better now that I can hear you.” Rose paused. “How do you feel?”

Silence. “Like I am safe and secure. I feel like I am getting a full body hug. Though, the Gummy bears in here kind of ruin the moment…” Spartan said.

Rose laughed. “Sorry about that. Next time, I will make sure your cuddle buddies aren’t as sticky and sweet. I wasn’t exactly planning for this when I got home from work today.”

Rose closed her eyes, feeling Spartan’s movements and a surge of parental protection. She could feel his limbs against her abs and could picture him in her stomach. She had been looking at the entire idea of vore the wrong way; She felt more protector than predator and it was amazing.

“As much as I would love to stay like this forever, I feel like we should think about how I will be getting out; I don’t know how safe this is. I think it’s because of my heightened endurance from the spell that has allowed me to breath so far, but I don’t want to press it.”

“Well, I think there is only one way for you to exit,” Rose stated, leaning back over the sink.

“Technically, there are two…”

“Shut up.” Rose said, then tried to trigger her gag reflex. After a while of trying, Rose felt Spartan shift around and reach up and suddenly it became a lot easier. She deposited Spartan into the sink and turned on the faucet for him.

“That was an amazing experience, Rose,” Spartan said, sticking his head in the water. “I just hope that you enjoyed it as well.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Just got out of me and already jumped to the initiative in taking care of me.” She reached into the drawer beside the sink and pulled out a washcloth. She set it down next to Spartan, then stepped out of the room to give him some privacy.

“Well, did you? You asked me how I felt when I was in you.” Spartan said. There was a moment of silence as Rose thought about her answer. “I just realized how much of an innuendo this can be seen as. Should we pick a name for this experience? Something tamer?” Spartan added.

“Maybe later,” Rose sighed, putting her back on the wall and letting herself slide down until she was sitting on the floor. She rubbed her eyes, the memory of the experience still quite vivid in her mind. “To answer your question, I don’t really know yet.

“I went into it with an expectation, as most people do, and had those expectations quite subverted by reality. It was scary and surprising, but after I committed to it, it felt… comforting. I liked the feeling you gave me; it was as if I had hidden you away from the entirety of the world, all of the harm and hardships couldn’t reach you anymore.”

Rose rested her hands on her stomach, remembering Spartan cradled within her. “I already miss it, even though it hasn’t even been 2 minutes since you were there.”

“Well, you can always look forward to the next time those cravings hit.” Spartan said, strolling past the door wrapped up in the washcloth and viciously rubbing his hair. “Though, maybe without having eaten a ton of gummies beforehand. I think I have turned permanently sticky!”

Rose laughed, then scooped him up. “Come on, sticky boy, it’s almost 12. I need to get to sleep so that I can make it to work tomorrow.” She put him in his alcove, then disappeared into her room with Chilly.

Spartan got settled down and thought back on his day. He smiled. It was a pretty good day.

--------------

I think I need a break from vore, I don't know how I will top this for a while. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my… interesting writing style compared to the other writers on this website.

[supernova-cas]

S01 E01 PILOT

Okay so! starting a rewatch and I thought I’d do a little missing scene from each ep. So here we go starting out strong with some Dean on the road. You can read it here on tumblr or here on AO3!

The road stretches ahead of him, long and empty and Dean speeds up, hits the accelerator, trying to lose himself in the motion, synch up with the car and just glide. But it’s getting harder to focus now, when his destination isn’t some monster or creature from a nightmare. No, he’s not going anywhere so easy.

It’s stupid really, to feel like this and Dean knows it. He’s dealt with much worse than a trip to a college campus. This time last week he’d been over in New Orleans, moments away from being stabbed by an intangible knife. He ignores the slight pain that lingers in his side. As far as hunting injuries go, well it hardly qualifies. Point was Dean wasn’t a kid anymore. He was old enough to hunt on his own now and definitely old enough for this.

And yet, if he was a kid, if they were both kids, he wouldn’t have to be doing this. If they were just a few years younger, Sam would still be right there with him. Sitting next to him and spouting some stupid fact about old lore or just burying his head in one of those trash novels he pretended he never read. They would be together, and for all he knew, if Sam was here, if things were different, if they all stayed together this wouldn’t be an issue at all.

But it’s been years since any of Sam’s shit had cluttered up the backseat. The car’ all Dean’s now, his tapes in the front, his gear in the back, the car was big enough to contain everything he owned and more. All Dean’s possessions, packed into her tight. He wonders if Sam drives. Not that he’d need a car to contain his belongings anymore. No, Sammy’s got a new home now. Proper shelves to line his books up on instead of the corner of the trunk, clothes hanging in a closet instead of piled up on top of a false bottom opening. Yeah, Sam doesn’t need any of the space he and Dean had spent so long arguing over. They’d squabbled for years, each trying to get a little more storage space. And Dean won.

To the victor the spoils. An empty car with all the room in the world. He doesn’t have enough to fill it.

He’s been trying, definitely. Even just now in New Orleans he’d picked up a couple of pretty pieces, a silver knife and some more bullets. His collection is growing, he’s got rifles and handguns now, small knives and machetes, bags and bags of rock salt. Enough iron he’s pretty sure he’s causing some kind of disturbance in the Earth’s natural magnetism. He’s even collected some books of his own. In the trunk is a mixture of a couple of old lore books and some classic literature. Dean may not be going to some fancy college but he sure loves to read. It’s a ragtag little library, taken from old garage sales he passed or the occasional thrift store.

He’s not sure what John would think of them. It isn’t something he’s mentioned. Not because he’s keeping it a secret from him! He just hasn’t had reason to bring it up. It’s not a distraction though, he has that answer locked and loaded. He barely ever reads them, they’re just there in the car. For the long nights when the cards are all frozen and his hustling hasn’t been quite enough to afford to buy dinner and a motel room. When he’s lying back in the impala, waiting to be exhausted enough that sleep overtakes him, sure, he’ll turn a few pages.

Dean passes another mile marker and tries not to see it as another chance to turn back now.

He wonders where Sam sleeps now. If he’s got a little bedside table, he can put his books on before he falls asleep. If his room has thick curtains, if he never has to ignore neon lights flowing through thin curtains or broken blinds. He’s got a home now, the address Dean is driving to, he doesn’t have to sleep in a car.

He wonders if Sam has a car.

The end of the cassette brings him back and for a moment he considers pulling over right there to flip it around. There aren’t any other drivers out here at this time. But if he does pull over, he’s not sure how long it’ll be until he can bring himself to keep going again.

So, he drives in silence. It’s not too far. Which is a good thing. He wants to be there already. And maybe if he tells himself that one more time it’ll make it true.

He slows down as he gets off the highway. Into the residential area of the college town. Sammy’s home neighborhood. He hates how little he hates it.

The impala is silent as he parks her right in front of Sam’s home. She’s beautiful and brilliant and he’s not sure why suddenly she feels small.

A quick knock doesn’t garner any response and Dean is too curious not to take the chance, to test Sam’s defenses.

There aren’t any.

His door is locked and that’s it. He’s not sure what he expected. Sammy definitely doesn’t want to have to explain to all his college friends a line of salt in the doorway, he doesn’t want to carve a sigil in the doorpost. But this, it’s a simple lock Dean gets open in moments. A challenge even Sam would be able to master without trouble.

He moves through the apartment quietly, looking around. It’s bigger than he thought it would be. And there’s so much stuff. He wonders how much of it is Sam’s if he actually owns all this. He probably should have been more focused on his surroundings but with all this, well it was easy to get distracted. Sue him.

So, Sam’s attack takes him by surprise. Not enough of a surprise that Dean doesn’t react well, but enough to get him off balance for a moment. Sam still fights well. Or at least, well for Sam. Dean’s still got the clear advantage as he shoves him right into the other room. The light from the window (framed by thick curtains, he notices) illuminates his face for a moment and Sam falters. Dean gets him pinned down in moments.

“Whoa, easy tiger.” He manages, trying to catch his breath.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice is shock, but not instantly hostile and Dean can’t help the laugh that escapes.

“You scared the crap out of me!” Sam’s voice is his tried and true bitching about being beaten tone, and Dean falls into his own role easily.

“That’s ‘cause you’re out of practice.”

He’s goading Sam and it works, always does. It actually surprises him how fast Sam is, how quickly their roles are reversed.

“Or not,” he admits. Sam hits him twice and Dean rolls his eyes. “Get off of me.”

Sam gets off of him and extends his hand to help Dean. Sam pulls him up and then stands back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam’s voice is upset now and it’s suddenly too real. Sam’s no longer the brother Dean reaches to poke and annoy in the car, he’s no longer an abstract figure too far away to reach. Sam is here, right here in front of Dean and he is angry.

“Well, I was looking for a beer.” He tries with a grin, grabbing hold of Sam for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam repeats and Dean needs to tell him.

“Okay.” He answers. No jokes this time. “We need to talk.”

“Uh, the phone?” Sam asks, eyebrow raised.

“If I’d’a called, would you have picked up?” His tone is light but it’s a serious question and they both know it. Dean thinks for a moment that Sam won’t answer and for another, worse moment that he will.

But he doesn’t get the chance. The lights flick on and Dean spins to see the blonde woman at the switch. She’s pretty, too pretty to be in Sam’s apartment anyway, and more then anything else she’s an interjection into the situation. A distraction and Dean pounces.

“Jess.” Sam speaks up next to him. “Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”

“Wait, your brother, Dean?” she asks and where ever that’s going Dean wants to cut it off before it has a chance to begin the trip.

“Oh, I love the smurfs.” He gestures to her crop top and he can practically feel the disdain and anger rolling off the two others in the room. That’s fine. He expected that. “You know, I gotta tell you. You are way out of my brother’s league.”

Jessica looks at him like he’s just confirmed Sam’s reasoning for leaving in a single moment.

“Just let me put something on.”

No. He isn’t staying, they aren’t staying. This isn’t some long conversation to be had. And Sammy definitely didn’t want his girlfriend in on it.

“No, no, no, I wouldn’t dream of it.” He says with an easy grin. “Seriously. Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting you.”

“No.” Sam speaks up and Dean watches as he walks away from him, as he goes to put his arm around Jessica.

“No whatever you want to say you can say it in front of her.”

Dean looks at him for a moment. He hadn’t anticipated this. But he can’t very well walk away now.

“Okay. Um.” He looks at them straight on, trying to order his thoughts. “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.”

“So, he’s working overtime on a Miller Time shift.” Sam says, and his words are heavy and disgusted. His hold on Jessica seems to tighten. “He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.”

Dean ducks his head. Trying to let that one go. It’s not that he’s wrong exactly, it’d happened before. But it wasn’t something they’d say. Not like this. And besides this time isn’t like that at all. This time is different. This time, John is in trouble. And Dean’s not going to let him down. He’s going to get his baby brother and he’s going to get the family together and safe. He looks back up at Sam, his gaze hard as he says,

“Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

[apples-r-rubbish]

John (11 x reader) Part 1

Summary: The doctor was being tracked. So he decided to become John to blend into a small town. It would only be 6 months he said. Word count: 3.4k Warnings: violence mention and knives and angst  AN: Hi! First fic ever uploaded to tumblr so I’m excited. Hopefully this is good and isn’t too long. Part 2 and 3 should be up soon. Hope you like it!! Also I wrote the reader as female in this so sorry, I’m going to try to be more inclusive in later fics :,)

It had been 2 years, 3 months and 16 days since you’d all arrived in the 1920s, in a quaint little village in the south. You had also been told it would be a maximum of 6 months you would spend here, and boy, how the Doctor was wrong. He was being hunted, by a species that wanted to harvest timelord energy so they could learn to regenerate. So he’d picked a random village and a random time period, given you all jobs, and rewritten his own biology in an attempt to stay safe.

“I’m going undercover as a human, I’m rewriting my genetic code to stay safe, everything non-human about me will be held in this watch, and hidden somewhere linked to me, there will be another fake one hidden with me or on the TARDIS. I won’t recognise it, I’ll barely acknowledge it, or just enough to the point where fake me won’t think there’s anything off about it.” He explained slotting the watch into a rather aggressive looking head contraption, and throwing a device at Amy “I’m becoming John Smith, a history teacher at a local grammar school, Amy and Rory, your job is to track the thing, it has a unique energy signature with that device. Rory you work in the local hospital and Amy you work in a shop. (Y/N), your job is to keep an eye out for me, make sure John doesn’t do anything ridiculous, or fall in love or in a deep hole he can’t get out of. You’re the secretary at the grammar school,”

You cringed at memories as you sat in bed. Thinking over the last 2 years and everything that had happened since, it was all a distant memory now.

“The TARDIS will be in an emergency state if you need her. I won’t know you or remember you. It’s to keep you safe and for your own good. It’ll be six months, at maximum, nothing to worry about, Ponds, (L/N),” he smiled cautiously as he put the device on his head. The thing connected as he screamed, and shook, the agony in face unbearable. 

Eventually, you decided you had to get up so you didn’t lose your job, you put on a dress, strapped a cautionary knife to your leg for protection along with the sonic screwdriver so you knew it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands or  just in case the thing decided to attack today. You walked to the school. The village was fairly spread out but with limited people, less than 1000 people, everyone knew at least something about everyone apart from the few of you that had been welcomed two years prior. God how you missed Uber, and being able to go on regular runs without judgement. 

When you arrived you stored your coat and bag in a storage room, making polite conversation with your coworkers in your office. John wandered in and smiled at you. “Hello, Miss (L/N), how are you doing today?” He was more posh in this version of himself, he sounded southern and as if he had been educated at the grammar school years prior. 

“I’m very well, sir, just a little tired today. How about yourself?” You had also taken this time as an opportunity to sound more from the time period, to blend in and look more authentic compared to your back story that was full of holes. 

“Good good, sounds like you need more sleep-” He paused upon realising the implications of his words “I- I didn’t mean anything like that, I meant perhaps-” He was like this a lot, he stumbled over himself. Not as confident as the doctor in far too many areas. “Nevermind, Mr Smith, I knew what you meant. What did you come in here for?” you lips pursed together, when he had his memories back you were going to slap him so painfully hard he’d regenerate. He may have had the doctor’s face however, he was not him. Maybe this version of the doctor had taken a liking to you, more than the actual Doctor ever would. You had to stick close to him so you allowed it, although it was painful at points seeing a man you had fallen in love with, finally acknowledge your existence as someone else.

“I needed to check the staff file and I just wanted to chat with you.” So you talked for a while. 

The school day went by relatively smoothly apart from a student vomiting in the hallway, and two students almost getting into a fight, everything seemed standard, as the previous 837 days had. Nothing new. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The village was small and were grateful for that, all the shops were local and the furthest house was a 45 minute walk away. Ultimately, you had decided to visit Amy and Rory as you did most nights as they understood the pain you were going through, trapped away from your time period without your family, and closest friend, whilst also being tracked by an alien. 

“-and then he looked at me and said I needed to get more sleep,” You said between sips of wine and painful laughs

“I can’t believe he struggles with social interaction more as an actual human rather than a timelord,” Amy laughed, this was the tradition, when Rory was working the nightshift, one of you would visit the other, and you’d laugh and drink together.

“At least you get to see him consistently,” Amy added, “We barely do. Rory sees him maybe once every few weeks down at the pub, and I see him when he comes into the shop or at the hall. You at least consistently know he’s safe and happy,”

“Yeah but it’s not exactly him is it. It’s like you see a picture of someone before you know them, like you can acknowledge it’s them but they’re just missing the odd piece to them, like the smile isn’t quite wide enough or their hair is parted differently. It’s a version of him, without him. Without the timelordy, alieny bits,” 

“Maybe so, but it’s something, and we don’t have a lot else right now,”

“God, I can’t wait to wear pants and jeans when we get back to our time,” You said standing and embracing Amy in a warm hug “I need to go home and get some sleep, long day tomorrow, my turn to check. Thanks for having me, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When you had arrived home, that's when you saw him, a boy from the school outside your door, mindlessly staring through one of your windows.

“Edward Gray, dear? Are you alright? What are you doing here?” You asked panic rising quietly through you

Seemingly snapping out of his trance “Huh? Nothing Miss, I must’ve got a bit lost and confused, that’s all,” He said rubbing his temples, the expression he gave you didn’t reach his eyes, as if he was struggling to believe the words himself. 

“You might want to get home, make sure your mother knows you're safe. We don’t want her up worrying all night now do we? Run along dear,” You said as you unlocked your house and he turned and ran. 

You settled into bed for the night, pulling out a notebook and writing down bits from your previous adventures you could remember, it wasn’t for Amy and Rory you would've been doubting the validity of your stories and doubting that the alien had even existed at all, and wasn’t just a random man from your work who paid attention to you, smiled at your jokes, and whose eyes were full of mystery.

More dreams, more memories, more days. You woke up with a jump, your alarm surprising you. More morning rituals. Breakfast, check. Shower and brushed teeth, check. Dressed, check. Knife, check. Sonic, check. It was a friday so it was your turn to check the TARDIS. It was abandoned in a shed in one of the in one of the many fields surrounding the village that had long been forgotten. She wheezed slightly when you entered, a half asleep acknowledgment of someone else’s company.

“Hello dear, I’ve missed you too,” You said in response, a tinge of sadness in your voice, another sleep wheeze escaped from the console. You replayed the message the doctor had given you. He animatedly explained all the points, once again, like clockwork: village, 20s, hunted, six months, keep watch, pears, stay safe, teaching, secretary, shop, six months. Nothing had changed, you kept quietly wishing for the audio to alter, or the video to change, it never did. It was still the same video, and your alien bestfriend promised 6 months and nothing more.

Somehow, you had managed to arrive early to work. The majority of your colleagues had not yet arrived. In moments like this you had begun reading in classrooms, specifically, John’s. There was something comforting about it, perhaps it was the doctor’s energy. Quiet times like this helped usually, sometimes they made the situation worse, the silence was sometimes unbearable as thoughts of your future life rumbled around your head. You had positioned yourself near a window and pulled out a copy of the Great Gatsby. Whilst you were engrossed in your book, the door opened silently, John slipping in without you noticing

“Miss (L/N)? What are you doing here?” He whispered, his eyes staring deep into your soul, at times like this, he was almost the doctor. You jumped, the sudden noise surprising you

“Ah, sorry, John, dear. I was just reading, I had a bit of time before the day began,” You started 

“It’s alright, no need to apologize. What are you reading?’

“Mr Fitzgerald’s new book, I have heard nothing but good things,” 

“Ah, I prefer the classics, great expectations and such.” Even as a human he was still so much of the doctor. 

You stood up suddenly “Anyway, I need to go. I have my duties to attend to.”

John rambled “Stay! If you want to- I mean- if you would like you can stay here and read, I don’t mind and I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind, I’ll convince them it was my idea. even though it was anyway,”

You considered it for a brief moment, you shook your head, “I can’t, I have particularly busy day,”

“At least let me walk you home tonight then, if you’re busy throughout the day. I enjoy your company,” he said with a wink and then he caught himself and looked shocked that he had actually just done that.

“Fine. I finish at 5. But you must know the neighbours will talk,” You said in attempt to deter him

“Oh, let them, this small town loves gossip,” John smiled in a very doctorish manner. You nodded slightly. A small smile graced your lips, a tinge of sadness in your eyes, you prayed he wouldn't notice as you turned to leave the room. You didn’t see him silently stick his hand out in an attempt to comfort you, over feelings he would have no concept of. John Smith and his small smiles and sweet talk would be the death of you. The Almost Doctor. So close yet, so far out of reach.

You had the trouble of organising staff schedules that week and planning and writing assemblies for other teachers, you didn’t mind though it kept you busy. 

“(Y/N), did you hear Edward Gray hasn’t shown up today,” One of your colleagues Mrs. Price had said, she was elderly woman, her hair greying slightly, her glasses rested on a chain that was always around your neck

“That’s peculiar, he was outside my house last night,” You began as you explained to the other woman. She sat in an awkward silence afterwards.

“According to his mother, he did get home ok, he just came in this morning. Must’ve just decided he wanted to wander the woods for a break,” She said with a nervous laugh and you followed suit before going back to clicking away at your typewriter. 

The day eventually ended at 5pm as you said a brief weekly farewell to the other office staff members before heading to the front of the building. John Smith was stood at the front he gave you a wide small and small wave that you returned

“Mr Smith,” You said with a smile as you approached him

“Miss (L/N).”

On the way home, you chatted about anything and everything, you trying to fix the holes in your double life story, and the chameleon arch filling in the gaps in his. You were simply two half strangers sharing half truths with one another. If the Doctor were actually here he’d laugh. Occasionally, neighbours would nod their heads towards you in acknowledgment, none of them stopping to talk. One neighbor seemed off, you believed his name was Mr Roscoe and he was an older man from the village. He made intense eye contact with you both before bumping into the doctor aggressively, squaring up to him.

“Timelord, your days will soon be up. We will have your secrets soon enough,” Roscoe hissed. Adrenaline pumped through your veins, you pulled the knife from your leg and pointed it at Mr Roscoe’s throat. 

“Good, God Miss (L/N), where did you- what’s going on? Why do you have a knife?” John stammered the chameleon arch kicking into overdrive. 

“Shut up,” You snapped, he opened his mouth to speak, he decided against it, then closed it again. You turned your attention back to the older gentleman, “Leave him be. He is not what you are after. This is your final warning, approach any of us again and this knife is going right in one of your vital organs. Clear? Or will I have to do it as a warning?” You snarled anger rising with each word edging the knife close to the man as you waved it for emphasis.

“Crystal,” The man replied, void of tone. Before turning and walking away sending a sharp glare in your direction as he wandered off

“Do you mind if we visit your house instead I have a phone call to make?” You asked the knife away, smiling and acting like nothing had occurred, slipping your arm back around John’s. John simply stammered in agreement, still not entirely grasping the intensity of the situation.

John’s house was rather large for him, he’d claimed it was far too big for one person and that he ought to let it out, but it was close to his job and he could afford it and that he also preferred his own company. 

You waited until he left his kitchen to call Amy,

“Hello, this is Amelia Williams,” She chimed

“Red, wolf, now,” You said breathlessly, it was code, you had invented, between the three of you, if people were around that couldn’t know about the predicaments you faced, such as John you would use it. Red was danger, wolf was alien.  She breathed a curse into the phone

“You’re safe, I presume, stay that way and with him, time to locate the pin and the needle,” more code, you simply said a quiet yet nervous ‘yes’ into the phone. The pin being the watch, the needle being a decoy.

“What about your job? 2 years, wolf tracking was up to you,” You hissed

“I’m sorry. I think the battery died long ago, we have no idea how to charge it even with the TARDIS. Plus, he never gave us an explanation of how to use it,” You mumbled a brief apology for hissing and hung up, after she had made sure you were fine, in the overly complex code, you former companions shared. 

“What was that about?” John asked reentering the kitchen and breaking you from your thoughts holding some glasses, a bottle and packet of cigarettes. “Sorry, just a small code with a code with a friend, letting her know I’m safe and with a friend incase she gets worried or tries to visit,” You explained quickly

He smiled at that, maybe he had bought it, maybe not, “You’re so intelligent.” He breathed half to himself, half to you “Come on time for a smoke and a drink to calm us down after that, erm, experience,” 

You sat next to eachother on one of the few steps that led to his garden. “So why do you carry a knife?” Was the first question out of his mouth after he’d poured drinks

“An old friend, he had some issues, told me to protect myself, I just felt I needed to make sure I was safe,” You replied simply, “And I hate guns, so a knife had to do,”

“In the 2 years I have known you, (Y/N), I’ve learnt very little about you, other than today.” He sighed 

“You don’t need to know a lot, there’s not a lot I can tell you really, a fairly ordinary life,” 

“Do you smoke?” He said offering you the box, with a smile you accepted one and lit it, 

“Not often, we’ll have to share this one, I can’t handle full ones this late.” You passed it back to him “my friend wouldn’t approve so I try to not,” 

“Well you have to make your own decisions,”

“He wouldn’t approve of you offering, I mean” You corrected “Also maybe not me accepting,” 

“I need to tell you something,” He began, “I have these dreams- and they’re about the future and they involve you and that quiet couple from the village. We travel to other worlds and I’m from another planet and we try to save people.  And it matches some of what Mr Roscoe had said. How crazy is that?”

Shit. You hadn’t considered dreams “Well ultimately dreams are the subconscious filling the space so I would imagine it is perfectly normal thing to dream. And as for Mr Roscoe, he’s a confused old man, I doubt he even realised what he said, John,” You laughed nervously, the chameleon arch had already started fixing the damage

“You can stay overnight, if you’d like I have a guest bedroom set up and some spare toiletries, just so you’re not worried about getting home. Mr Roscoe put the fear of God in us earlier and I wouldn’t like that to happen again, especially if you’re walking home” Even now, when he wasn’t himself, he was still unbelievably kind.

“Ok, then I’ll stay,” You nodded, you did not want another Edward Gray situation

“So this friend of yours. Would he approve of you staying the night? Does he approve of much? It certainly doesn’t seem it,”

“Perhaps he would. Maybe with you, maybe not, it's difficult to say. He doesn’t approve of much and yet many things. Kindness and eccentricity are two things he absolutely loves. He’s a good man, a kind man,” You tried to explain, taking the cig back “He’s a pacifist. And when he smiles the stars seem to align. We travel together. Or rather we used to before I settled here. I’m waiting for him to come back.”

“Oh are you and him-”

“Uh, no, absolutely not. I did see him like that, he did not see me that way. He has no reason to, he carries the stars with him and the world on his shoulders. He’s got enough to worry about without me,” you stated, a small tear slipping from your eyes, John wiped it away quickly , taking the cigarette back and finishing it

“I mean, perhaps he could, view you like that. If I were him and I know I could never be, I wouldn’t hesitate. You’re wonderful, kind and beautiful, intelligent and astonishingly brave,” John smiled “and if he can’t see that, I’m sure someone else will.” 

The silence after his words was comfortable. You didn’t quite expect it. The ferocious love in his voice, the warmth and kindness. It seemed so disjointed from the normal, nervous and awkward John. You rested your head against him, a form of acceptance to his words. He wrapped his long since abandoned jacket around you, along with his arm, trying to shield you from the cold. The drinks had been finished a while,  and cigarettes long since burned to ash. You stayed that way for a while, at least in that hidden moment you could pretend it was him and that things weren’t about to turn terrible. At least you had now and the steps in his garden long after dark.

PART 2

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Suns Reviews: Wronguay in Ronguay (Paid for by Patreons)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to the genesis of magillicutty   Ducktales with the second part of my months long look at Treasure of the Golden Suns, the mini series that kicked off the series. These reviews are a result of me hitting my first patreon stretch goal. I just did a LONGGG post outlining those here on tumblr so hit that up and help join my patreon so I can reach them and make some more moolah to help keep this my primary job. 

So speaking of that job we’re back to The Treasure of the Golden Suns and the first chapter, while not bad, was a tad disappointing, especially since I really liked it on first viewing. So will the second chapter fair just as bad or be a massive improvement? The only way to find out is under the cut. 

Previously on Ducktales: Donald shoved off with the navy leaving the boys with Scrooge, with both growing to care about one another... both out of nowhere

The boys ended up embroiled int he Beagle Boys theft of a wooden ship for a mysterious gentleman named El Capitan whose preferedd method of dealing with enterlopers.. was to use a chair like a lion tamer. After being falsely blamed for the theft, the boys ended up chasing the beagles to Scrooge’s candy factory, were vindicated and fought them off with Scrooge’s help , ending with the boys getting covered in choclate.  while El Capitan escaped vowing to find the gold. Now knowing the wooden ship was a map, the family prepared to set off

And that’s where we pick up. The reporter from last episode comments on the beagle bust and while the Beagles are hauled off, with Burger asking if they have any milk after eating his chocolate prison. Because his only  character trait is that...

The camera does linger on an impression the ship made in the chocolate... hmmmmmm.

Meanwhile we meet FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. As I said with Catch as Cash Can, he’s not BAD, just not NEARLY as memorable as the triumphantly insane 2017 version. He’s sitll a good villian and we’ll see why soon, he just has the unenviable task of competiting with a far more iconic versoin made decades later whose far more my type of bad guy. El Captian calls him and offers to make him the richest duck in the world, which he naturally is happy to hear him out on. El Captian as a character i’ll get into more.. but for now let’s talk about his weird fucking voice. For some reason, Jim is doing a Dr. Claw impression, to the point I thought this was Frank Welker. I will grant it’s better than a horrible latinx sterotype, and given the grand kishke and a minor character in this very episode, they were NOT above those, but its’ still just.. weird. He just sounds like he’s possesed with about 80 or 90 demons for no explained reason. 

Back at the mansion, Scrooge and the Boys are both preparing to go after the treasure on the boat map: Scrooge is practicing vacuming it up using the pool and a sea safe vacum likely invented by Gyro, while the boys find the right coordinates to the treasure. Scrooge naturally.. is a bit of a dick about it, refusing to take them along despite them having found it, and saying they can stay with Duckworth. Duckworth’s response is about what you’d expect:

However before they can argue about this, there’s a bang at the door: It’s Flinty and here’s where the parts of this Glomgold I DO like, that do make him standout, if not as much sa his succesor shine: He plays scrooge, offering him 2 million for the Candy Factory. Naturally not realizing what Flinty’s getting out of the deal, Scrooge jumps at a quick and easy 2 million, since he knows it’ll cost MORE than that just to fix up the place. Flinty then proposes a contest: the two of them try to make as much money as possible from scratch in two days. No rules, no barriers, just whoever dosen’t have more money than the other by the end has to eat Flinty’s hat. Scrooge accepts.. but then realizes he has to eat crow and allow the boys along. With Scrooge sufficently blackmailed, the boys reveal where the treasure is: Ronguay, a made up south american county. Why they did so.. well just wait a second. And no it’s not just for the tile... but your close. 

No we find out why as they take the cheapest flight avaliable to Ronguay, only for the boys their going the Wrong way to Ronguay. 

Yeah I love a good pun but I draw the line at desinging an ENTIRE COUNTRY for a really obvious one. I have standards on this blog! Standards that include thirsting after Keith David , DBZA refrences up the whazoo and posting this gif of David Byrne at every given opportunity. 

Look my standards are weird, but their still standards. I draw the line at making a stupid pun when there’s a rich number of countries in South America. I’m not saying Carl Barks was ever against making up a country, he probably did, could be wrong, but more often than not he did his homework instead, as did his succesor Don Rosa. It feels lazy to just make up a country when you really don’t have to and could’ve just found one with a massive rainy season for your children’s cartoon. It’s not hard. I mean it’s harder than now: now I could just google “what south american countries have torrental rains”.. but it’s not like you guys could’n’t just go to a bookstore and buy a refrence book or a library and rent one. I mean if they ran out of time to do anyresearch fine, but even for the 1980′s it wasn’t that difficult to at least TRY. 

Regardless it turns out the pilot is a robot pilot.. who looks amazing but  as it’s a flintheart glomgold company joint is purposfuly tring to keep them off path. Look they didn’t have to unplug the poor guy. I know what he wants. 

So now on the right way to Ronguay our heroes lan only to find the locals all fleeing in terror of something. Scrooge heads in for suplies anyway and finds... a VERY racist sounding clerk. Seriously just to picture this.. picture say .. Michael Scott trying to do an mexican accent. You good and cringing? If not, adapt that to your doofus sitcom character or republican senator of choice There you go. You see my point. It’s not the WORST i’ve seen.. but only because I sat through the Rediculous 6 with my best friend, one of three, Cory, for a podcast we tried doing a year or two ago. I’ve seen Rob Schinder do  this for an entire movie. In 2015 no less. So my threshold for HORRIFCALLY offensive is vast and deep. But this is still garden variety racist and should not have been okay then or now. 

And it really SHOULD have the warning label on it. I’m fully in favor of the content warnings Disney started using, and it’s why I got so fucking annoyed during all the talk about it when it happend to the Muppet Show, ESPECIALLY when the republicans got a hold of it and accused them of “Canceling the muppets”. This is NOT fucking cancelation, this is a way to have the past there for posterity, while acknolding it sucked and was NEVER okay. It’s the best way to do this in my opinon, and it bothers me a LOT that a bunch of jagoffs coopted it and threw a hissy fit about Disney trying to do the right goddamn thing. And i’m also okay with leaving some media out. Disney + is a family platform. While keeping classic movies and shows on there with a proper warning is one thing, it’s another to not put song of the south or that episode of the muppets where the host later turned out ot be a pedophile on there. Some things just don’t have nearly enough worth to outpace the harm they can do. And it’s up to companies and consumers to figure out what fits where. 

Anyways our heroes find a llama for transport and that the map is seemingly a dead end to the desert. But Scrooge is determined to press on... and while he does El Capitan and Glomgold are following him, though the two clearly don’t agree on whose in charge, or if El Captian sounds like dr claw or not. They followed with their own copy of the map taken from the chocolate. 

As things progress the rain starts.. and our heroes find out via the JWG that this is what the citzens were all running from. They loose the llama, though are able to salvage some of their suplies it was carrying, and Scrooge nearly gives up to dispair. It’s a good, if sudden, character moment: Scrooge genuinely laments that he was worried one day he’d loose his step.. and stop being one step ahead of everyone. It shows some much needed vunerablity.. that beneath his boisterious and cantankerious usual personality he’s deathly afraid his age will eventualy mean he’ll have to stop..and having to stop adventuring and stop working and stop doing eveyrthing that makes him Scrooge McDuck is a fate worse than death. 

Thankfully he dosen’t as via a figure on the ship, Huey, Dewey or Louie figures out, in a REALLY amazing twist, that the desert itself was the ocean: the ship that has the treasure simply sailed here and hid it. So while our heroes reflect, Glomgold decides to take them out NOW while he has the chance over El Captian’s protests, as the good captain only cares about the gold. But Glomgold is right.. from a villianous point of view at least. leaving them alive is a waste.. granted he does so.. in a way that makes my brain cry out in pain and want to run. He lights a stick of dynamite. In a torrential rainstorm. 

I mean i’d expect 2017 Glomgold to try it and have it fail.. not to have the actually clever 87 version not only try something this stupid BUT HAVE IT WORK. THE FUSE LIGHTS. IT’S READY TO GO OFF. HE ONLY STOPS IT BECAUSE HIS MAP GETS EATEN AND THEY NEED SCROOGE’S IN TACT. JUST HOW DO YOU WHY DO YOU AUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Okay i’m.. i’m good now. So after that bit of nonsense and some taking my medication, our heroes take shelter in a cave. The grusome twosome try to sneak in while their asleep.. only to trigger the alarms the boys set up using their pots and pans, a “junior woodchuck alarm”. Clever little bastards. 

The tables quickly turn though as Thing one and Thing Two trap our heroes in the cave.. as i’ts flooding. Scrooge has them press on in hopes of finding a way out, and it rises further and furthe ran excenelty tense scene. But eventually our heroes manage to find somewhere safe in time: the shipwrecked boat with all the gold. Scrooge even puts on a nifty golden conquestador’s helmet. 

Naturally since we have minutes left in the episode the bad guys show up and have a gun... they never had before. 

Regardless our heroes are lowered into the lifeboat at gunpoint as the ship goes out to sea and i’ts revealed el captain worked on teh ship as he knows the full manifest.

However both villians personal flaws end up doing them in: Glomgold’s need to gloat means he gives Scrooge a golden coin as he mocks him about winning the bet... only for El Captain to fly into an insane rage demanding he swim out and get it despite just how LITTLE he really needs the coin. He and Glomgold struggle over the ships canon, both no longer needing the other and eventually fire off a ball that capsizes the ship. El Captian seemingly drowns while Glomgold is forced onto the life boat with the McDucks.. and finds out he lost as while he and Scrooge both lost the treasure the coin he tossed scrooge means Scrooge still has made more money. So Glomgold prepares to eat his hat and El Captian prepares for vengance and to get his gold back. 

Final Thoughts on Wronguay in Ronguay: The iffy bit with the store clerk aside.. this episdoe is easily the best 87 Episode i’ve seen.  It captures the spirit of barks perfectly with plenty of intresting twists that kept me engaged the whole time, some great jokes, and two great villians who are done in soley by their own greed and neurosusi> it’s really great stuff and what I expected more and remember more from the 87 Series: top notch adventure in the barks style but wiht it’s own unique touches. While the pilot was a bit rough due to all the ground it tried to cover, this episode, now having the basic formula of the series pretty much set, is allowed to just be a fun, daring adventure story that brilliantly builds off the last episode but can be wholly enjoyed on it’s own. Hopefully this momentum keeps because I don’t remember being the fondest of the next two episodes.. and given that content warning I think we’re in for a rough time next month. 

If you liked htis join my patreon, etc etc, I went into that mor eup top. Till All Are One, See you at the next Rainbow. 

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Glittering Green

Written for the 2020 Kidgezine: Kaleidoscope!

Thanks to coronavirus, this year’s zine is a free-to-read PDF. You can find the link to it here: https://kidgezine.tumblr.com/post/628198963429998592/after-a-rough-year-it-is-complete-thank-you-to 

(Due to tumblr hiding posts with hyperlinks in the original post, I’ll be reblogging this post and putting the hyperlinks to the kidgezine and to AO3 there. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

Summary: Keith had felt drawn to the ocean since he was a child. He grew up on the shore. It was where he made his first friend. And years later, it would be where he found freedom.

Also posted to AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune.

- - - - - 

Glittering Green

Keith didn’t get along with many people. He was too quiet, too shy, too odd. He lived on the beach with his single father, who worked for the coast guard. It was just the two of them in their massive family home, and they never had any company over, which made them look strange in the eyes of the townsfolk.

Neither of them let that get to them.

Keith loved that it was just the two of them. His dad never called his interests weird and never pressed when he was in one of his quiet moods, except to check in and see if he wanted anything. Some days the only thing he wanted was to sit down on the beach and look out over the ocean, and his dad rarely said no to that.

He was drawn to the ocean in a way he couldn’t explain. He always had been.

That was where he met her.

She was hidden from view behind the boulder, mostly submerged in the water as she relaxed and picked through a handful of shells. Chestnut hair tumbled over her shoulders, covering part of her bare chest, and parts of it were braided and decorated with what looked like colorful beads.

Keith nearly fell off of the rock in surprise but righted himself in time. “Wh-who are you?”

She twisted around to peer up at him with wide, light brown eyes, her mouth parting soundlessly, and then she slid beneath the surface of the water and vanished from view.

Panic laced through Keith’s veins and he fought between the urge to jump in to help her or staying put where it was safe. The undertow was dangerous there - the push and pull of the waves as the current broke against the rough ocean floor was deadly to even experienced divers. He couldn’t go in.

He peered into the water, searching for any sign of movement. If she resurfaced, he may be able to reach down and pull her up.

“Please be okay,” he whispered. “Where are you?”

He decided to wait another minute and then he would go get help. His dad would know what to do.

Time ticked away and still he saw nothing.

With a heavy heart, Keith moved back into a sitting position and prepared to go back to the house, and that was when he saw a flicker of green breach the surface, followed by her face, peering back at him from a distance away.

Keith laid flat on the rock and stretched out his hand. “Can you swim this way? I’ll pull you out!”

She stared back, unmoving except to bob in the waves.

Why wasn’t she moving? Didn’t she want to get out? Why was she even out there by herself?

The girl tilted her head and then began to swim closer, reaching out to touch his hand once she was close enough. She didn’t grab on so he could pull her in. Instead, she pressed her hand to his so they were resting palm-to-palm, finger-to-finger.

“Who are you?” Keith blurted out, the question overpowering all of the others he had. He blanched at his rudeness and hurried to correct himself. “My name’s Keith. What’s yours?”

Still, she said nothing, and Keith began to wonder if she could talk at all. Her hands were gentle against his, and if he looked closely, it almost appeared as though her skin was covered in glitter, the way it sparkled under the sunlight.

“You are… human?”

Her voice was soft and confused as she rose a little more out of the water. She continued to press her hand to his, though her focus was on his face.

Keith didn’t know how to respond. What was he supposed to say to that? Obviously he was human! There was nothing else he could be.

But why would she ask something like that?

“I thought you’d look different,” remarked the girl. She continued to study him as though he was something fascinating. “You look just like I do, except with... Um, what are those called again? Foots?”

“Feet,” Keith corrected without thinking about it. “Hang on, what are you talking about? You’re just as human as I am!”

She shook her head, releasing his hand at long last as she moved further away once again. “Excuse me, but I am fully mer.”

The ability to speak left Keith as he witnessed her roll over and dive into the water. Where it should have been legs rising out of the water, he instead saw a dark green tail, not unlike that of a fish. He gaped at her as she resurfaced.

Mermaids were real and one was right in front of him.

- - - - -

For the first time in ten years, Keith would get to see the ocean again.

He didn’t know how to feel, except grateful to Shiro and Curtis. Originally, it was only meant to be the two of them, but after Keith found himself once again jobless, the pair took pity on him and asked him along on their vacation.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me tagging along?” Keith asked in an undertone as he helped Curtis load up the trunk.

Curtis slid his suitcase in place and then looked over at the younger man. “You know we love having you along, and I think it makes our parents worry less too. We have to be the mature, responsible ones and set a good example, after all,” he joked with a wink.

As intended, his words got an amused chuckle from Keith.

“Seriously, though, we’ve both been looking forward to you coming with us this year. You’re not intruding on our time or whatever else it is you’re worried about. Though it is a shame I can’t carry on my tradition of making out with Shiro in every room of the house, but that’s one sacrifice I’m willing to make for you.” Curtis laughed as he caught the next bag thrown his way. “Kidding! Kidding!”

“Is it too late to change my mind?” Keith asked as Shiro came around to join them.

“Definitely,” Shiro said, stepping in to press a quick kiss to Curtis’s cheek. “All ready to go?”

Keith shoved one final bag into the trunk and then moved back. “Now we are.”

Curtis stole the keys from Shiro, skipping away with a laugh as he tried to retrieve them. Keith rolled his eyes, but there was a fond smile on his face as he shut the trunk door and made sure it was properly locked.

Soon enough, the three of them were all in the car, with Curtis driving and Shiro serving as the navigator in the passenger seat, while Keith got the backseat all to himself. He had a few activities to stay busy during their five-hour drive but planned on sleeping through most of it.

“Who’s up for road trip games?” Shiro asked, too cheerful.

Keith groaned and leaned against the car door, staring out of the window and resolutely ignoring his brother. Maybe he’d just sleep the entire time to avoid whatever games Shiro had in mind.

He closed his eyes and didn’t respond when Shiro repeated his question.

“Keith, I know you’re not really asleep,” he said.

Curtis reached over and patted Shiro’s leg. “Leave him be, Takashi. Want to pick our music instead?”

There was a sigh, followed by Shiro’s subdued agreement. It took a few minutes and then classic rock began to play from the speakers, aiding Keith in his quest for a nap.

When he woke, his neck and shoulders felt stiff from the awkward position he was resting in. He groaned softly and stretched out the best he could in the cramped space, which caught Shiro’s attention.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty. We’re about twenty minutes out,” Shiro said.

“I slept for that long?” Keith asked, leaning forward for a better look at the time. “Did you guys stop at all?”

“We made a pit stop for gas and food an hour ago, but we didn’t want to wake you. I think Shiro saved you some fries if you’re hungry,” Curtis said.

“Yay, cold fries,” Keith muttered sarcastically. He yelped as Shiro tossed a bag of fast food at his face, raising his hand just in time to block the assault. Along with the mentioned cold fries were a few leftover chicken nuggets, which he picked out first and began to eat.

He leaned back in his seat and looked out the window to get a better look at their surroundings. The land had flattened out enough that, when the trees and buildings weren’t blocking his view, he could spot the ocean, glimmering under the sun in the distance. Keith took a moment to admire it, drinking it all in. He could imagine the sea breeze blowing through his hair again, the scent of the ocean heavy in the air.

It felt like coming home.

Keith swallowed around the lump in his throat, stuffing a few fries into his mouth as a distraction.

“So, Keith, has Shiro told you much about the house?” Curtis asked.

He tore his gaze away from the window before answering. “Just that it’s on the beach and, uh, there are cliffs nearby?”

“Right next to the house, actually. We have stairs leading down to the beach because it’s too steep to get down there otherwise. And it’s a rocky beach with tide pools, so if you want to do any wading, you’ll have to walk about ten minutes along the shore to a safer place,” Curtis explained. “Or you can just use the indoor pool for swimming. My parents use it for marine studies when they’re here, so it’s full of saltwater, but as long as we’re careful about maintaining it, they don’t mind us using it.”

Keith frowned, not at the pool, but at the way Curtis described the house. He could almost picture it; a faded, once-blue house at the top of a steep hill, protected by sheer cliffs on one side and trees on the other. Well-worn wooden stairs led down to the pebble beach, which became solid, smooth rock at the water with perfect little pools where seawater accumulated. Jutting out of the water was a massive, boulder-like protrusion, perfect for basking in the sun.

He shook his head. It couldn’t be. Really, what were the odds that he already knew the place they would be staying? It was likely that Shiro had described it better than he remembered, and that was why it sounded so familiar.

Except…

Except the description wasn’t the only thing familiar.

As Keith watched the passing scenery, he began to recognize more and more. The old general store on the corner. The elementary school with the massive oak tree planted out front. Up ahead, there was a road on the left that would incline up to a residential area. There were only a few houses along the road, and at the very end would be a two-story beach house and garage, both faded blue.

They took a left.

Keith had a hard time breathing as they drove down to the end of the road. Curtis barely had time to pull into the driveway and park before Keith unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door to jump out, stumbling slightly after sitting for so long. He stopped and stared up at the house, unresponsive until a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Keith, what’s going on?” Shiro asked, sounding concerned. “Is something wrong?”

Keith shook his head, struggling to find his voice. “I… I’m home, Shiro. This is where I grew up.”

- - - - -

Keith slowly walked through the halls, taking everything in, while Curtis and Shiro began to unpack in the kitchen and gave him time to get acquainted with his childhood home.

So much was the same. The color of the walls. The dent in the wooden floor where he once dropped his dad’s bowling ball. The one post on the staircase to the second floor that was slightly off-color from the rest.

Keith ran his hand over the banister as he walked upstairs, taking his time to take in all of the memories that were seeped into every part of the house. At the top, if he went right he would see the master bedroom where his dad once slept. To the left were a spare room, a bathroom, and the door up to the attic, which was a converted bedroom.

He turned to the left, not ready to face the memories on the right. He would, in time, but for the moment the longing to see his old room was stronger. Keith reached out and placed his hand on the doorknob, pausing for a moment to close his eyes and steady his breathing.

It twisted easily beneath his hand and he pushed open the door and was greeted by a rush of warm air. The stairs creaked under his feet and it wasn’t long before he was in the small, single-window room at the top. There was still a twin bed tucked away in the corner and a dresser along the wall across from it, eerily similar to his own set-up.

Keith crossed the room to the window, which gave him a perfect view of the ocean and the cliffside to the left of the house. He stood there for a moment, taking it all in.

How many times had he stood there and watched the waves lapping against the shore or crashing into the cliffs? His eyes were drawn to the tide pools, where the large rock still jutted up from the ocean. It had once been his favorite place, where he could go and relax away from the rest of the world. And it was there that he saw a flicker of bright green against gray.

Keith leaned forward, as though it would help him see more clearly, but no matter how hard he looked, nothing changed. He dismissed the change in color as a trick of the light and turned away from the window to walk around the room, lost in thought.

He couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was something he’d forgotten.

Something important.

A board shifted under his feet. Keith stopped and stooped down, moving his foot away so he could freely examine the floor. He felt around until his fingertips brushed against a raised edge and he was able to pry it free and see what was hidden beneath. A faded red journal was there, covered by a fine layer of dust, and Keith gently lifted it and brushed it off.

More pieces of memory slotted themselves into place in his mind.

His old journal, hidden away to keep something safe. He couldn’t remember why, but he knew he had a good reason for leaving it behind. Like that important thing, tickling the back of his mind.

No, not a thing. A person.

The journal opened easily, with only a few pages crinkling and sticking together, and from between two of them, a thin object slid out. Keith caught it reflexively.

Sitting in the palm of his hand was a scale, slightly smaller than the nail on his thumb and dark green. It was warm to the touch, despite being left there for so long.

All at once, Keith remembered.

There was a girl - his first friend - who he spent so many hours talking to and playing games with, but he had such a hard time recalling details about her the older he got. There was a reason for that too.

“Pidge,” he murmured, testing the name.

Keith moved back to the window, lost in thought as he stared at the scale. He set the journal down on the accent table next to the bed and then lifted his eyes to look at the shore. He stood there for a few long minutes.

And then he swore and bolted for the stairs, clutching the scale tightly as he raced down through the house and blew past Shiro and Curtis. He could hear them calling after him, but didn’t slow down. He turned a corner and took the final set of stairs in the house, which led down to the basement level where there was a large, indoor pool. From there it was out onto the deck and down even more steps until he was on the beach.

He ran until he reached the water-soaked rock, where he slowed down so he wouldn’t slip and fall. His dad’s words of caution rang in his ears, even after so long.

Keith climbed the rock and settled on top, where he sat and waited.

His mind drifted to the memory of their first meeting. He’d been so clueless. So completely unprepared for the truth. But Pidge didn’t care and stuck around to give him a chance. He suspected she was driven by her curiosity and that was why she stayed, at least at first.

He held up the scale, marveling over the way sunlight brought out faint ribbons of brighter green. Her final gift to him was all the proof he needed to know she counted him as a friend and someone she trusted. It was one of her own scales, chosen specifically for him and given with the promise that they would see each other again one day, even if it meant she had to swim out to wait for him every day.

“Keith?”

Keith hid the scale away and twisted around to face Shiro. “Hey.”

“Is everything alright? You ran out of there in a hurry,” Shiro said. “Keith, if this is too much, we can stay somewhere else for the night.”

Keith shook his head. “No, I’ll be okay. I just remembered something and wanted to see if I could find it, that’s all.”

Shiro visibly relaxed. “Did you have any luck finding it?”

“None today,” Keith said, casting one last long look over the water. It was likely that Pidge was already gone for the day if she’d been by at all. He’d have to be sure to get out there bright and early to look for her again.

He climbed down from the rock and made his way to Shiro’s side. “Sorry about making you guys worry.”

Shiro’s gaze softened and he reached out to wrap an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters. This is your vacation too and we just want you to have a good time.”

“Yeah, I know.” Keith let his brother lead him back to the house and told himself that he’d find a way to make it up to both of them. He hadn’t meant to make them worry.

Keith spent the rest of the evening with Shiro and Curtis, first helping them finish unloading the car, and then with dinner preparations. He even agreed to play a board game of Shiro’s choice, which brought a big smile to his brother’s face.

When the sun rose the next morning, Keith was already awake. He quickly dressed and went downstairs to grab a snack, bidding Curtis good morning when he found the man standing blearily over the coffee pot.

“Tell Shiro I’m going down to the beach?” Keith requested as he unwrapped a breakfast bar and tossed the plastic into the trash.

“So early?” Curtis asked, sounding confused.

“It’s the best time to look for shells,” Keith said.

While it wasn’t the reason he was going down to the shore so early, it wasn’t a lie. The morning was one of the best times to search for shells, as high tide was receding and leaving all kinds of treasures to find.

Keith stuffed his breakfast bar into his mouth and left Curtis to wait for the coffee to finish brewing on his own as he headed out onto the deck and began the slow walk down all of the stairs. He took his time so he wouldn’t choke on his food.

It wasn’t long before he was sitting back on his rock in the most comfortable position he could manage.

And there he waited.

The sun crept higher and higher in the sky, but Keith remained where he was. Around noon, Shiro came down with a plate of sandwiches and wordlessly climbed up to sit next to him. They ate lunch together, just the two of them and the sound of waves rushed against the shore.

“Curtis and I are going to make a run into town for more food. If there’s anything specific you want, I’ll pick it up for you. Unless you’d like to go with us?” Shiro asked.

Keith shook his head. “You know what I like.”

“Alright, I’m sure I can find something,” Shiro said. He hesitated for a moment, looking out at the horizon. “I can see why you like it here so much. It’s beautiful.”

“I used to come here every day. There’s something about it that’s calming,” Keith explained.

Shiro smiled and patted Keith on the shoulder before climbing down, taking the plate with him. “Text me if you need anything. We shouldn’t be gone longer than an hour.”

Keith watched his brother walk back up to the house and go inside before turning his attention to the water once more, sure that he would see her soon.

Time ticked away.

Doubt crept into Keith’s mind and he began to wonder if he’d dreamed the whole thing up. He was so sure Pidge was real, but maybe she was just a normal human girl who loved mermaids so much that he automatically associated her with them.  

He sighed as he pulled his legs up against his chest. He could stay for a while longer, at least until Shiro or Curtis made another venture to check on him. After that…

Well, it wouldn’t really hurt to keep an eye out, would it? He didn’t have to sit out under the hot sun his whole vacation, but now and then would be okay. He hadn’t been lying when he told Shiro he found it calming.

“I wish you were here, Pidge. Or that I had some clue that you’re still around. That I didn’t imagine everything,” he said to himself. He fought the urge to take the scale out of his pocket and lost, rolling it around in his palm as he continued talking to himself, his voice largely drowned out by the waves. “All I have is this. This and my memory. But what if I’m wrong about everything?”

The ocean didn’t respond.

But there was another voice that did.

“You’re not wrong, Keith. I’m here.”

He gasped, rapidly scanning the water until he found her, shyly peering up at him from around a much smaller rock a few feet away. “Pidge!”

“It’s really you! You came back!” she exclaimed, beaming at him in joy as she swam closer. She held out her hand once she reached where he was sitting and he met her halfway, pressing his palm to hers.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Keith apologized.

He took a moment to get a good look at her and see the differences ten years brought, knowing she was doing the same to him.

Parts of her hair were woven into more intricate braids than before. A few tiny shells joined the colorful beads, dyed a vibrant blue-violet that stood out against her brown hair. Keith had to quickly avert his gaze and focus on her face when he remembered that mermaids didn’t wear any kind of clothing or even decorations to cover themselves. Her hair was long enough to hide most of her chest when it was pulled forward, but he wasn’t about to make her uncomfortable by staring.

“You’re bigger than I remember,” Pidge remarked, seemingly mesmerized by how much larger his hand was from her own.

“So are you,” he responded, though he understood what she meant. They’d been relatively close in size when they were young if he didn’t count her extra length thanks to her tail.

Pidge hummed and lowered her hand before swimming in even closer to settle at the base of the rock in a way that prevented anyone at the house from seeing her. Keith remained where he was, in plain sight but facing the ocean so no one could see him talking. It was how their friendship went undiscovered for so long.

“There’s so much to tell you, that I don’t know where to start!” Pidge said excitedly. “Do you want to hear about my training? Oh! Or should I tell you how Matt got in trouble two movements ago? No, no, I have it! Two decaphoebs ago, Lance and Hunk found the cutest octopus for me. I named him Rover.”

Keith grinned at her enthusiasm. “Why don’t we pick one thing at a time and take turns? Like, you can tell me if you ever managed to beat your brother in a race and I’ll tell you about how I met Shiro for the first time.”

“Shiro? Who’s that?” Pidge asked, her curiosity overwhelming her desire to babble.

Keith took his turn first, glossing over his time in the orphanage and the way other kids treated him at school, moving on as quickly as he could to the kindness of the Shirogane family, in particular their eighteen-year-old son who took one look at him and pronounced him brother.

In return, Pidge spoke of the day she discovered her Inheritance, and how she struggled to keep her newfound electrical abilities in check and use them to her advantage without injuring anyone. She had to pause briefly to explain mer Inheritance to him.

“All mer have magic,” she reminded him. “But we don’t all have the same magic. I can generate electricity, just like my dad and brother, but mom’s gift is the ability to manipulate plant life. My friend Hunk can mold earth into whatever shape he wants, including solid rock. It’s incredible to watch.”

They talked for hours, going back and forth to catch each other up, but they barely made a dent in it by the time Shiro called Keith up for dinner.

“I should go,” Keith said reluctantly.

Pidge looked disappointed but nodded in acceptance. “Will you be back tomorrow? I have a few things I have to do before midsun, but I can come back.”

“I’ll be here,” Keith promised. He held out his hand so they could press them together in their personal version of a hug goodbye, and then he watched Pidge disappear beneath the waves before he climbed down from the rock and made his way to the house.

- - - - -

Keith felt like the luckiest person in the world.

Not only was he back in his childhood home, but he also had the opportunity to reunite with his best friend. It was tricky to keep her hidden from other “surface dwellers”, as Pidge liked to say, but getting to sit and talk with her was well worth it.

Naturally, Keith made it his goal to spend every possible moment with Pidge over the next few days, sometimes ignoring the growl of his stomach out of excitement. Once it’d been so loud that Pidge sent him up to retrieve food for both of them. She said it was so he wouldn’t starve, but her clear fascination over the food he returned with told him otherwise.

He knew he needed to be more careful.

He wasn’t blind to the looks he received from Shiro and Curtis whenever he made an appearance and he knew he needed to come up with a better explanation than simply: “I find the water calming.”

He trusted his brother but keeping the existence of merpeople a secret was too important to risk it.

Even if that meant lying to Shiro.

Keith tried to slow down in the mornings and spend extra time with them. It took all of his willpower to focus on what they were saying instead of daydreaming about what he and Pidge would talk about next, and he thought he was doing pretty well.

“Keith? Museum?” Curtis asked, waving his hand in front of his face. “Do you want to go with us? It’s only a thirty-minute drive.”

“No thanks. I’m just going to stay here today,” Keith said.

Curtis looked like he wanted to say something, but Shiro spoke up before he could.

“If that’s what you want to do, then we won’t stop you,” he said. “The whole point of a vacation is to relax and have fun and everyone has a different way of doing that.”

Keith smiled at his brother. “Thanks. I’m just not up for going out anywhere right now.” He hoped that would be it, but as he helped clean up after breakfast, Shiro approached him and silently began drying dishes as Keith washed them.

“You’re worried,” Keith stated after a moment.

Shiro hummed. “I will admit, I was worried when we first arrived and you told us this was the house you grew up in, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this happy.”

“The strange thing is, being here doesn’t make me sad. Remembering my dad doesn’t make me sad,” Keith said. “There’s only good memories here. If anything, I feel closer to him than I did before.”

“I’m glad,” Shiro said sincerely.

There was nothing more that needed to be said as they finished cleaning up. Keith stuck around to see off Shiro and Curtis, once again turning down their offer to tag along, and the moment they were through the front door, he made a beeline for the shore, rushing more than he needed to.

He beat Pidge there, as he did every day, but he wasn’t waiting for long before she arrived and settled at the base of the rock he sat on. As always, they pressed their palms together in greeting.

“You look happy,” she remarked.

“Shiro and Curtis went to a museum for the day, so we should have the whole day to ourselves. Shiro loves museums,” Keith said.

Pidge tilted her head to one side, causing the beads in her long hair to shift. “Why didn’t you go with them? You could’ve left a message. I wouldn’t mind.”

“It’s not really for me,” Keith said with a shrug. “Shiro will literally spend hours in one area if you let him, and it gets frustrating after a while. Curtis has the patience for it, but I don’t.”

Pidge let the subject drop and instead worked on heaving herself out of the water and higher onto the rock. Keith helped her out, figuring there was no reason to worry about being spotted.

Out of the water, her scales glittered green under the sunlight, refracting green light across the rock and his dark pants. Keith found himself captivated by the color for a moment before redirecting his gaze to her face. Pidge promptly ducked her head and twisted a lock of hair around her finger as though she was embarrassed by something.

Keith cleared his throat. “Today’s our question day, right? Do you have anything you want to ask first?”

Pidge let go of her hair and nodded eagerly. “What’s a museum?”

Keith did his best to explain the function of museums, aided by a few more questions from Pidge that helped him clarify a few details that he forgot. He could tell she had more things she wanted to ask once he was done, but it was his turn.

“You said the other day that Arus is a long way from here, so how do you get here so quickly every day? Do mer swim that fast? Or do you get a ride from a whale or something?” he asked.

“That’s an easy one!” Pidge said. “I just use the teludav. The Alteans set up easy access points all over the world to make travel safer, and one of those points is nearby.”

“What’s a teludav?”

Pidge’s eyes lit up. “It’s this incredible piece of tech the Alteans invented ages ago. Okay, so there’s this terrifying creature called a Weblum that lives in the deep, deep oceans. It’s not aggressive or anything like that, and not really dangerous unless you get in its way because there’s no way of stopping it or making it change its path. Sorry, I’m getting carried away again. Anyway, the primary component that makes the teludav work is a mineral called scaultrite, which is only produced in the Weblum’s stomach. Pretty gross, right?” (Keith didn’t have a chance to agree.) “We use the scaultrite to create special lenses for amplifying and directing Altean magic, and when you put that with the other correct parts, you get a teludav!”

None of that fully answered Keith’s question, so he rephrased it to make it clear what he was really asking. Pidge laughed and told him it was a transportation portal. All she had to do was enter the one in Arus and she would exit in a nearby underwater cave, strategically chosen for the lack of divers in the area.

Pidge happily switched topics so she could take her turn.

They passed the day like that, bouncing questions off of each other and getting answers to things they were curious about. Every now and then, Keith would catch Pidge staring at him, though she was always quick to look away once she saw him looking.

He brushed it off, figuring there was something she wanted to ask and was puzzling out the best way to phrase it.

“Do mer have pets?” Keith asked curiously. He recalled that she briefly mentioned an octopus named Rover sometime before, but she never went into detail about it. “Or any kind of creature that you take care of just because you think they’re cute?”

“Actually, yeah. Loads of mer have giant seahorses or some kind of ray as a pet. My parents have a ray named Bae Bae and I’ve got Rover, but there are also these super cute nudibranchs that I found when I was exploring a shipwreck and I may have taken a few of them home with me,” Pidge said, sounding pleased with herself.

Keith wasn’t sure which part he was more curious about: Pidge’s apparent love for colorful sea slugs or the fact that there were giant seahorses. It didn’t take him too long to decide. “Exactly how big are these seahorses?”

“Kind of like this?” Pidge held out her arms to indicate a size around three feet tall. “The Nalquodians have been breeding them for ages to get them to that size. They’re pretty cool, but you have to keep a close eye on them because they like to flutter around and steal food the moment you stop looking. And I can see the look on your face. It’s my turn for a question and then I’ll tell you about Nalquod.”

“That’s fair,” Keith agreed.

“What kind of pets do surface dwellers own? And can you describe them?” Pidge asked.

“Well, there are birds, which you already know about. They come in a lot of different colors and sizes, and some people like to keep them as pets. The big two are dogs and cats.”

Trying to describe land-based creatures was harder than expected, and Keith was pretty sure he was doing an awful job. If he’d remembered to bring his phone down with him, he could’ve shown her pictures, but naturally he left it up at the house where it was safe from water damage.

Pidge took pity on him when he awkwardly tried to explain the sounds they each make, briefly pressing her finger to his lips to get him to stop talking.

“Nalquod is one of the five major mer cities. You already know about Altea and Daibazaal,” she said. “The others are Rygnirath and the Dalterion Belt. There are so many different kinds of mer all around the world, but they are the oldest of us, and have the most influence.”

“And their tails are different from yours,” Keith said, remembering something she mentioned the day before.

Pidge beamed. “That’s right! That’s one of the biggest differences between the five clans, aside from the places where each one lives. Alteans have scales just like I do, but the Galra have a thick, rough skin that covers their tails, sort of like sharks.”

The more he learned about her world, the more he wished he could see it for himself.

Keith couldn’t think like that. It would only leave him feeling disappointed. “I know it’s your turn to ask a question, but do you want me to tell you the story about the first time I met Curtis?”

“That’s the name of your brother’s boyfriend, right? I’d love to hear more about him,” Pidge said, leaning in close.

Keith shifted a little to get more comfortable and then told her all about his first meeting with Curtis, and how, in a fit of purely accidental clumsiness, he dropped an entire plate of spaghetti on his lap. He thought Shiro would never forgive him.

His story spawned a new line of questions into one another’s lives.

Pidge shared a delightful story about Matt introducing his girlfriend to their family for the first time, and how Rover spent the entire time camouflaging himself in different spots to try and scare her. (Luckily, she thought he was hilarious.)

Keith struggled to figure out a way to explain driving a car to her so that he could tell her the tale of Shiro’s driving lessons, and the time he was so sure they were about to get arrested for driving around in circles in a parking lot.

After a few hours, Pidge called it an early day and then took another fifteen minutes to explain her newest project before actually leaving. Keith watched her disappear with a fond smile on his face and then headed up to the house.

With his newfound free time, he began dinner preparations as a surprise for Shiro and Curtis. Keith hummed a wordless tune as he worked, setting out everything he needed for the main dish. None of the sides would take long and could go in once the others returned, and Keith knew from experience that it was best if he focused on one thing at a time.

Shiro and Curtis were delighted to return to the scent of food. They told him all about their trip to the museum as they ate, and Keith found himself wondering if any of it was something Pidge would be interested in. From there, his mind wandered to what they could do the next day.

Maybe he could take some paper down and they could try and draw things for one another? She was likely to make fun of his stick figure drawings, but it would be worth it to see her excitement over new surface items.

Keith spent most of his evening lost in thoughts, completely oblivious to the concerned looks he got from Shiro and Curtis.

He slept well that night, and after breakfast the next morning, he took his time gathering up a few sheets of paper and a handful of crayons he found stashed away in the floorboards of his old room. He took them all down to the beach and passed time by doing some practice drawings and trying to make improvements.

The morning stretched on and transitioned into noon, which was when Keith started to worry. He set aside his art supplies to keep a careful eye on the water around him. He mentally reviewed their last conversation, trying to remember if she said anything about needing to postpone their meet-up, but she agreed to the same time as always.

He was sure she was fine.

Pidge was just running a little late. Soon, she would show up with some wild story to tell him and they’d spend another day laughing and hanging out. He was sure of it.

She never arrived.

Keith spent the entire day waiting for her, only giving up once heavy clouds rolled in and covered the sun. He was extra cautious as he made his way across the slick rocks, but he still slipped once when the wind knocked him off balance. He recovered before he could fall and was soon safe inside the house.

“There’s a storm coming in,” Shiro said as Keith reached the top of the basement stairs. “Curtis is checking to see how bad it is. We may need to… Are you alright?”

Keith didn’t trust himself to speak and nodded instead. He hoped it was just a passing storm rather than anything big, though either way he was wasn’t going to sleep well.

Curtis returned with news that they didn’t have to worry, but he set them to find flashlights and candles just in case the power went out.

Once the emergency supplies were collected, the three of them gathered in the living room to eat their dinner of leftovers and listen to the local weather report. Shiro tried to lighten the atmosphere when they learned they were in for a windy night and wouldn’t have to worry about rain until some time the next day, but stopped when it became clear that nothing could lift Keith’s mood.

Keith couldn’t even find the energy to feel guilty about worrying Shiro. He was too busy wondering what happened to Pidge. Had she gotten wrapped up in a project and lost track of time? Did her family make her stay home to keep her safe from the storm? Or was it something worse?

He dismissed himself for an early bedtime, hoping he could manage a few hours of sleep, but between the howling wind and his overactive imagination, he spent most of the night tossing and turning. Keith got a few solid hours in the early hours of the morning and counted that as a win, even though it wasn’t nearly enough rest.

The news station gave a similar storm report as the night before; the wind was still blowing and the heavy rain would begin sometime around midmorning. Keith decided it was the most opportune moment he had to sneak down to the shore and check for Pidge one last time.

Keith dragged himself downstairs to wait for sunrise, and the moment there was enough light to properly see, he went outside. From the upper balcony, he could see a splash of bright green against the gray rock.

He was sure he made a sound, but it was drowned out by the pounding of his heart as it lodged itself in his throat. He flew down the stairs and raced across the beach to where she lay.

“Pidge!” Keith gasped as he rushed to her side. He carefully turned her over, searching for any obvious injuries, but didn’t find anything.

She groaned as she began to stir. “Keith?”

“I’m here, Pidge,” he quickly reassured her. His worry intensified as she mumbled sleepily and passed out again.

Keith took a moment to weigh his options, though really it wasn’t a hard choice to make. He couldn’t leave her there with the weather turning so rough, especially when it looked like she’d already hurt herself trying to swim through it. He’d have to take her to the house. Once she woke up and the storm passed, he’d be able to talk to her and figure out what they were going to do next, but for the time being he had to decide on his own.

“Okay, I can do this,” he said to himself, stooping down so he could get a good grip on her. He slid one arm around her back and the other under her tale, pausing to take a deep breath and brace himself for her weight, and then he lifted her up as he stood, grunting from the effort.

Pidge whined softly and Keith quickly soothed her.

“It’s alright. I’ve got you, Pidge. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He kept talking to her as he carried her across the beach and then slowly started up the stairs. The wind buffeted against him, whipping his hair into his eyes, and rapidly drying Pidge’s shorn locks.

He needed to hurry before her tail dried out too much. He wasn’t sure what would happen if it did, but he was willing to bet it wouldn’t be comfortable for Pidge. The sooner he could get her into the pool, the better.

“Almost there,” he said as he reached the bottom deck.

There was only one more obstacle he had to face, and that was getting the door open. Which was not going to be an easy task with an armful of an unconscious mermaid.

To make matters worse, he heard the door on the upper deck fly open and footsteps rapidly making their way across the floor.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted, sounding panicked.

Keith groaned softly and rolled his eyes. Did Shiro really think he was so irresponsible that he would go down there when there was a storm blowing in? (He resolutely ignored the tiny voice reminding him that was exactly what he did - it was an emergency situation! He had to go down there!)

It was far from an ideal situation all around, but Keith was adaptable. First he’d reassure Shiro so he wouldn’t go into full-blown panic, and then he’d get the door open. Easy.

Praying that Pidge would forgive him for what he was about to do, Keith cleared his throat and said: “I’m down here, Shiro!”

Keith braced himself for the round of questions that were sure to be heading his way, but when Shiro reached the lower deck, the surprised Keith with only one: “What happened to her?”

“I don’t know,” Keith responded. “I found her like this and I couldn’t leave her down there. Not with the storm coming in. Could you open the door?”

Shiro nodded, striding quickly to the door and opening it to allow Keith through. He said nothing else and stood back as Keith walked down into the pool, not caring at all that his clothes were getting even more soaked. He gently eased Pidge into the water until she rested on the bottom and then backed away, keeping his eyes on her to make sure she was still okay, and then sat down on the top step.

Part of him wasn’t the least bit surprised when Shiro rolled up his pants leg and joined him at the poolside, struggling to compose himself as he took in everything he was seeing.

“So, uh, surprise, I guess,” Keith muttered, breaking the silence and startling a laugh from Shiro.

“I can’t believe this is what you’ve been hiding from us. Not that I blame you for keeping it a secret; I’m not sure I would have believed you if you had told us. It just seems so surreal…” Shiro said, keeping his voice down. “Does she have a name?”

Keith nodded. “It’s Pidge. Well, that’s what I’ve always called her. She didn’t want to give me her real name when we first met, so I had to come up with a nickname. There was this pigeon nearby that she was really interested in, so I sort of named her after it. Don’t laugh! I was eight!”

Shiro covered his mouth with his hand, gray eyes glittering with amusement. “You named her after a bird?”

“Shut up,” Keith said with very little bite to his voice. “You’re being really cool about this. I was expecting more questions. More… I don’t know.”

“Honestly? I think I’m still trying to process it all. Mermaids - merpeople?” He glanced at Keith for confirmation. “Merpeople are real. They’re not just a myth or a story, they actually exist. There’s so much I want to ask, but all I can think about is what else is real that most people think is fake?”

“I know magic is real too,” Keith said with a shrug. “Pidge told me that all mer have some form of magic and it sounds like it’s usually elemental. So I guess it’s not magic spells like most humans would think. And… and there whole underwater cities where mer live that are protected by magic and their own form of technology. She says that’s why we’ve never found them. And all of their cities are connected by something called the teludav? Which I think is some kind of portal they use to teleport.” He stopped for a moment, hoping he was relaying things correctly.

It felt so good to share it all with Shiro. He hated keeping secrets from his brother, but there was no longer a need to do so.

He glanced at Pidge and hoped he wasn’t breaking an important rule by being the one to tell Shiro about the mer. There had to be rules against it, right? To prevent everyone from finding out about them? But they could trust Shiro, and Curtis as well.

“Whole cities,” Shiro breathed in amazement. “Like Atlantis?”

Keith remembered asking that very same question as a child, just as he recalled the way Pidge crinkled up her nose as she corrected him. “Actually, that’s just a mistranslation. It’s called Altea, not Atlantis, and I wouldn’t say it around Pidge. I did that recently, more to tease her than anything, and she went on this whole long rant about the history of humans mistranslating various mer-languages and it’s not as interesting as you might think.”

“I’m guessing that’s where she’s from?”

Keith shook his head. “She’s from a small city called Arus. It’s on the border of Altea and Daibazaal - those are kingdoms, not cities - and she said something about it being divided between the two of them? I don’t really know how to explain it, except it belongs to both kingdoms. Pidge would explain it better.”

Shiro asked a few more general questions after that. How did they meet? How did she stay hidden for so long? Why didn’t Keith try to come back sooner?

“I… don’t know.” Keith furrowed his brow in thought. “It was like something was blocking my memory, right up until I found my old journal and the scale… Her scale. There must have been some kind of magic to it that was meant to help me remember, but I was afraid someone else would find it and take it from me, so I hid it in the safest place I knew. I never thought… Shiro, if you and Curtis hadn’t invited me this year… If Curtis’s parents never bought this house…”

He never would have been able to keep his promise.

“Maybe Fate wanted the two of you to meet again,” Shiro suggested. “Speaking of Curtis, I should get upstairs before he comes looking. It might be best if I tell him what’s going on instead of letting him find out on his own. If that’s alright.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed, not hesitating for a second.

Shiro stood up and began to head for the stairs. “I’ll bring you down a change of clothes. You can’t be comfortable like that.”

Keith plucked at his sleeve. “It’s not so bad.”

“Uh-huh,” Shiro said in a tone that conveyed his disbelief. He didn’t say another word, leaving Keith alone with his unconscious friend.

Keith sat and waited, listening to the sound of the wind howling outside and the thunder booming in the distance. He hoped it wouldn’t be a bad one. They had a backup generator if they lost power, but he wasn’t sure if the pool was a high-priority in terms of things that needed to stay running.

He could hear Shiro and Curtis talking upstairs, a moment of silence, and then the sound of Curtis undeniably freaking out over there being a real-life mer in the basement pool.

Keith tuned them out. Shiro could handle that on his own and he was much more interesting watching Pidge as she began to come to. Her tail swayed, slowly at first, and then with one powerful flick, she rocketed to the surface to look around wildly, settling once she saw him sitting nearby.

“There’s a storm, so I brought you inside,” Keith quickly told her. “I can take you back once it passes, but it’s too dangerous right now.”

Pidge nodded and then began to look around, taking a moment to examine her new surroundings with a puzzled expression on her face. “What is this?”

“It’s a pool. We use them for swimming, or most people do. Curtis and his family turned it into a tank so they can look after fish,” Keith said, going with the simplest answer he could. “How do you feel?”

Pidge lifted her hand up and watched as the water trickled down her arm. “It’s very strange.”

“I guess it is different than seawater, but that’s not… Pidge, what happened to you?” Keith asked.

She lowered her hand and dove deeper into the pool, making a few laps before popping up next to Keith. She carefully draped her tail over the steps, using them as a bench as she settled with her back against the edge. She reached up, touching the ends of her hair with a frown. “It’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m okay. I promise.”

Keith wanted so badly to press and hear what happened. She obviously wasn’t okay. How could she be after literally passing out in his arms? People who were okay didn’t do that!

“I know you have questions, but I can’t talk about it right now. I will later, but not now.” Pidge’s words turned pleading as she finally looked up at him.

Keith breathed out to release the tension he felt. “Fine.”

“Thank you, Keith,” Pidge said, and the relief in her voice made his heart ache. “How did you get me up here? It always looked so far away.”

He explained how he carried her away from the shore and up the stairs, where he had to get Shiro’s help to get inside. When she didn’t react poorly to knowing Shiro knew about her, he filled her in on the conversation they had.

“Ugh, Altantis,” Pidge grumbled, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I told him not to mention it around you. Hopefully, he’ll pass the warning along to Curtis,” Keith said.

Pidge tilted her head to the side. “Do I get to meet them? There’s no harm in it now since they both know.”

“Only if you’re up for it,” Keith told her. “They’ll have a lot of questions. I don’t think I did a good job explaining Arus to Shiro.”

“You did fine, but I’ll be happy to answer whatever questions they have, as long as I get to ask them stuff too. I want at least three embarrassing stories about you in exchange,” Pidge said teasingly.

“What? No way!”

Pidge laughed merrily and Keith couldn’t help but crack a grin as he tried to talk her down to one story, and only if she shared one of her own.

She pretended to think about it and then shook her head. “No deal. I will, however, give you one about Matt.”

“How is that fair?” Keith asked.

Pidge shrugged. “That’s my offer.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think I want to introduce you anymore.”

“Too late!” Shiro called down the stairs.

Keith groaned good-naturedly and prepared for a day of stories that he’d rather not re-live. He’d have to work in some of his own about Shiro, as few as they were, and hopefully, Curtis would take pity on him and keep Shiro from telling too many.

- - - - -

The storm passed without causing any trouble for them, and by the next morning, the waves were calm enough that Keith felt comfortable carrying Pidge back down. There was only one roadblock with that, and it was Pidge herself.

“You don’t want to go back?” Keith asked with a frown.

“I like it here.”

Keith opened his mouth to ask why she didn’t want to go back, but Shiro cut in before he could get out more than a syllable.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like. We enjoy having you here,” he said sincerely.

Pidge beamed, and that was the end of that conversation.

Keith did his best to shrug off his unease. He knew he needed to wait until Pidge was ready to talk, and every time he thought his patience was beginning to wane, he remembered the relief in her voice when he gave that promise, but it wasn’t easy. The more time that went by without her bringing it up on her own, the more he worried.

What happened to make her so disinterested in going home? She always spoke so fondly of her friends and family, of the work she was doing, how could she be okay with sitting in a pool all day with only a few humans for company? He was hesitant to call it fear that was holding her back, but what if that was exactly what it was? But what did Pidge have to be afraid of? Was it because of him? Because of their friendship? Was she breaking a law by meeting up with him again?

He wouldn’t get any answers so long as she refused to talk about it.

After two days of stressing over it, Keith left her to her conversation with Curtis about the varieties of sea slug and made the trek down to his favorite spot to relax on the beach.

Keith closed his eyes and let the sound and feel of the ocean surround him, casting away everything else. He steadied his breathing and relaxed.

He loved having Pidge around. Loved getting to talk to her whenever he wanted, sometimes late into the night. They were able to swap so many stories or just sit in comfortable silence together. And the smile on her face when he would bring her a piece of human technology to examine left him feeling warm for hours afterward.

He just wished it was happening under better circumstances.

Keith sighed and opened his eyes, only to scream and flail backward at the sight of a freckled face directly in front of his own. The other person grabbed onto his shirt to prevent him from pitching back into the water and hauled him back upright.

“Who are you?” Keith asked, swatting the hand away once he regained his balance.

“Where’s Katie?”

Keith stared blankly at the other man. “What?”

What was happening? Who was the crazy person intruding in his space?

“Okay, I know firsthand that humans are not this dumb. Did you hit your head or something?” asked the man. “Oh no, wait, she did say something about a nickname. What was it again? Something like pigeon?”

“Pidge?” Keith asked, bewildered.

“That’s the one! You are Keith, right? She should have mentioned the mullet. Looks ridiculous, by the way.”

“No one asked you!” Keith snapped, already fed up. “Who the hell are you anyway?”

“The name’s Lance! And since we’ve established that you’re Keith, you are going to take me to Katie now. You’ve gotta know where she is. There’s no other place she would’ve gone,” he said.

Lance.

Keith knew that name from Pidge’s stories. He was one of her friends - the loudmouth one with a blue tail. Except Keith didn’t see a single scale or a tail. There was nothing about him to indicate that he was a mer and he definitely remembered Pidge saying that he was. But there he was with two human legs.

He was also very, very naked.

“I’m not taking you to anyone until you put on pants,” Keith told him, already feeling a headache coming on.

“Right, let me pull out a pair from thin air,” Lance said sarcastically. “Obviously I don’t have any. I was in a rush. Just give me your shirt or something and I’ll figure it out.”

Keith was not going to do that. How would that help anything?! If anything, it would make the situation worse.

He stripped out of his pants instead and thrust them in Lance’s direction. He could go around in boxers for a while, but he wasn’t letting Pidge’s crazy friend go without wearing something. “Here, just put these on and I’ll take you to see her. I’m warning you, if you’re lying about knowing her, you will regret it.”

“Fair enough,” Lance said with a shrug. He took the pants and put them on, making a face at how short the legs were on him. He didn’t comment on it, which was lucky for him because Keith was prepared to shove him off of the rock if he did, screw the consequences.

Keith very reluctantly took Lance up to the basement, planning out what he’d do if he was lying or, even worse, that he was the reason Pidge didn’t want to go home.

When he opened the door, he found Pidge and Curtis right where he left them, though Shiro had also joined the conversation. They all looked up and Shiro raised an eyebrow when he saw that Keith had stripped down to his boxers, but all of Pidge’s attention was on Lance.

And she was smiling.

Lance tripped over his own feet as he hurried forward, his hands working to unbutton the pants and shove them down his skinny legs. He kicked them off before diving headfirst into the pool.

Bubbles covered his body as he swam to meet Pidge halfway, and when it cleared away, his legs had been replaced by a magnificent blue tail. It was scaled like hers was, but his fins were shaped more like a fan, and he had a few more than she did, positioned closer to his hips on either side. His freckles turned blue and lit up faintly across his skin. They were mimicked in his tail as well, with swirls of spots glowing a shade brighter than his scales.

He and Pidge met in a hug, catching each other in a way that made them spin together. A tightness built up in Keith’s chest at the sight of their closeness, dissipating only once the two separated. They spent a minute talking underwater before Pidge gestured to the surface.

“Is anyone going to explain what’s going on?” Keith asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “How did you do that? You had legs two minutes ago.”

“I did. Thanks for lending me your pants, by the way,” Lance said blithely.

“Lance is half mer.” Pidge took it upon herself to explain what was happening. “Because he’s half-human, he has the ability to shift forms whenever he wants, kind of like Alteans.”

“Altean? Is that like Atlantian?” Curtis asked.

Keith snorted as both Pidge and Lance answered with the most deadpan “no” he’d heard yet.

“I’m sure Katie would love to explain everything that’s wrong with that mistranslation, but she can do it later. Basically, Alteans are one of five major mer clans and are regarded as one of the oldest. They have the unique ability to shapeshift, and not just between mer and human, but to blend in with the locals, wherever they travel. See they used to-”

“Lance, we don’t have time for a full history lesson,” Pidge interrupted. “Nice to know you’re taking your training as a future adviser seriously. Coran would be proud.”

Lance looked delighted by the praise. “Think you can tell that to him? He’s convinced that I’m too distracted by, uh, other things.”

“Not a chance.”

“Rude.”

Pidge stuck out her tongue and blew, making a face when it didn’t generate the same effect as it would underwater.

“So you can shapeshift, Lance?” Shiro asked, trying to get them back on topic.

“Just between mer and human,” Lance said. “It’s not nearly as cool as what Alteans can do and is leagues lamer than what Royal Alteans are capable of. They have magic that lets a human turn mer or a mer turn human, but the effects are permanent. That’s how my mom went to live on the surface with my dad.” He paused as he took a good long look at Pidge. “But Katie’s right when she says we don’t have time for this. I’m not here for a social visit, I’m here to bring her home.”

Pidge turned away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Lance swam around her and grasped her shoulders, preventing her from moving again. “If I let you, you’ll never talk about this. Listen, you went missing for two days and your family is worried sick! If Lotor hadn’t gone to your house to look for you and apologize, we never would have known what happened!”

An emotion Keith couldn’t read flickered over Pidge’s face.

“Katie, what those guards did, it wasn’t right. Lotor was mad about-” (Lance cut himself off and his gaze briefly landed on Keith before he refocused on Pidge.) “- stuff, but he wasn’t going to banish you for it. He wants you to know that they’ve been punished and will be sent back to Daibazaal for final judgment from his father. He says he’s sorry for the way he overreacted.”

“He really said that?” Pidge asked, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, once your mom was done yelling at him for it. I am so glad I was there to witness that,” Lance said. “So what do you say? Ready to come home?”

Pidge hesitated, drawing back into herself as she considered her options. Then she shook her head. “Not yet.”

A spike of relief flooded Keith’s body, followed by guilt for feeling that way. He didn’t have to say goodbye yet, but it was because Pidge still didn’t feel comfortable going home.

Lance’s shoulders dropped at her response. “Alright, if you’re sure. I can take messages back to everyone for now.”

Shiro caught Keith’s eyes and gestured towards the stairs. Keith stared at him for a moment, unsure of what he wanted, until it suddenly clicked in his mind that he was suggesting they give them some space. He nodded and slowly moved away, walking upstairs with him and Curtis and settling in the kitchen, where they began to quietly talk.

Or Shiro and Curtis did.

Keith was too busy trying to piece together what happened to Pidge from the limited details Lance gave them, but all he really had was even more questions.

Who was Lotor? The name was unfamiliar to him, but clearly, he meant something to Pidge. Why had she never mentioned him? All of the other names were familiar to him. Coran was an adviser to Altean royalty - an eccentric source of knowledge and always ready with some kind of story or odd phrase. Lance, of course, was one of her best friends, and probably why she knew more about humans than he expected. Her family, of course, was her mom, dad, and her older brother, Matt.

He’d never heard of Lotor before.

Keith scowled.

“Alright, Keith?” Shiro asked as he changed seats to sit next to him.

He wanted to say that he was fine and not talk about it, but stopped and thought about it before the words slipped out. If he did that, then he’d be doing to Shiro the same thing Pidge was doing to him.

Keith folded his arms over the table and laid his head down. “I just wish she’d talk to me, you know? There’s so much she’s keeping bottled up and hidden from everyone, even Lance. I want to help her, but I don’t know how.”

He looked helplessly at Shiro, hoping his brother had a good piece of advice to give him. He usually did.

“I think the best thing you can do is be there for her. Let her come to you in her own time, just like you’ve been doing,” Shiro said. “You can’t force this.”

Keith should have known that’s what he’d say. Normally, it wouldn’t be so bad, but he didn’t have time to wait patiently. They were already halfway through their vacation and it wouldn’t be long before people started to wonder when they’d return.

He turned his head so he was staring straight down at the table. “Patience yields focus, right?”

Shiro chuckled.

Someone knocked on the wall near the stairs and then Lance stuck his head around the corner. “Hey, just wanted to say I’m headed out. I’ll be back tomorrow if I can get away. If not, then as soon as I can. Oh yeah, and I’m going to keep your pants down on the beach if you don’t mind. I figure that will be less traumatizing to you.”

That was fine.

Shiro raised an eyebrow as Lance left without another word. “He’s… interesting. You’re really okay with giving him your pants?”

“Would you rather he walked around naked?” Keith asked.

Shiro swiftly replied with a negative.

Keith continued to sit with his head and arms on the table, mulling things over as Curtis came down after his phone call with his parents and got started on lunch for all of them. Soon, the smell of baking fish filled the air and his stomach began to rumble in response, distracting him from working out a plan. He turned his head to watch his brother quietly flirt with Curtis.

Before long, the food was finished and Keith was being handed two plates, one of which was unseasoned for Pidge. Keith thanked him and then made the trip downstairs, where he found Pidge making quick laps around the pool, her tail rippling in color from dark emerald to luminous yellow-green.

Keith took up his usual place on the pool steps, letting his feet rest in the water. He set Pidge’s plate off to one side for her to eat once she was ready and then dug into his own, using his fork to cut off individual bites.

Pidge quietly surfaced near him, carefully lifting the plate so she could examine the fish prepared for her, checking it over for any spices or unusual coloring. They’d quickly learned after the first time that while mer did have ways of cooking their food with heat vents, their methods of flavoring food was vastly different if they were able to add any at all. The herbs and spices they used on the surface were too much for her to handle, and from that point on they made a point to cook hers without.

She picked up her fork and speared a small piece, nibbling on it to check the taste. When she found it was cooked to her satisfaction, she began cutting off larger pieces.

“So Lance is interesting,” Keith unintentionally echoed Shiro’s earlier words. “You never mentioned he was half-human.”

“It never came up,” Pidge responded with a short shrug. She scraped her fork along her plate, trying to pick up every last little piece. “Lance has lived in Arus for so long, I don’t really think about it anymore.”

“Do you want more food?” Keith asked.

Pidge shook her head and set her plate and fork down. “I’m full.”

Silence once again fell over them as Keith finished eating. He was sure at any moment she’d choose to go back underwater, but to his surprise, she stayed right where she was.

Keith sat on the edge with his plate resting in his lap, trying to decide the best way to begin. He had to get something off of his chest before more time passed.

“Pidge, I know I said before that I would wait until you’re ready to talk, and I meant it. I’m not going to pressure you into it. And I know that me saying this makes it sound insincere and I probably should have phrased it better, but I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk. It doesn’t have to be all at once. You can do it in pieces if that makes it easier, but it’s all up to you.”

“Keith…”

He looked over at her. “All I want is to help you, in whatever way I can.”

Pidge reached out and took his plate away, putting it on top of her own before taking his hands in her own. “You deserve to know, and I want to tell you, but…”

“You’re not ready.”

Pidge looked at their hands and was silent for a long moment. “Lotor is the prince of Daibazaal. He came to Arus five years ago as part of his training, and we sort of… hit it off, I guess.” She crinkled her nose in thought. “He recognized my skill in mer-tech and gave me resources and a place in Sincline Castle to continue my work. In repayment, he gets the first look at my projects and a safe haven from his more persistent suitors. I know you probably think the worst of him after what Lance said, but he’s not like that. It’s complicated, I guess.”

“He lost his temper with you, Pidge, and it was bad enough that someone thought he was ordering your banishment. It’s not that complicated,” Keith said, a little more waspishly than he intended.

Pidge didn’t flinch away or scowl or otherwise indicate that she was bothered by Keith’s words. Instead, she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand. “Lotor has every reason to be upset with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him where I was going, because I know how he feels about humans. I should have told him. He should have heard it from me and not someone else.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“I know,” Pidge said, smiling sadly as she finally looked up at him. “Lotor lost his temper, and for that, I expect an apology, but I owe him one for not being truthful. He’s my friend and I lied to him. It put him in a difficult position, especially considering the way many mer view our relationship.”

Something ice-cold dropped into Keith’s chest at the implication that anything was going on between Pidge and some tantrum-throwing prince. He quickly reminded himself that she said they were only friends, but the feeling lingered uncomfortably for the rest of the night, intruding on his sleep and making him wake in a cold sweat. The image of Pidge being held by a faceless mer haunted him every time he closed his eyes.

When morning came, he was right there with Curtis, waiting for the coffee pot to complete its brewing cycle.

Curtis raised an eyebrow. “Rough night?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Keith muttered as he dumped large spoonfuls of sugar into his cup to try and cover up the bitterness of the coffee. He took a sip, made a face, and added another spoonful before fetching the milk from the fridge and adding that as well.

“Want to talk about it?” Curtis asked curiously.

Keith shrugged, setting his cup down on the table before dropping into an empty chair. “Dunno.”

He honestly wasn’t sure that there was any point in talking about it. He couldn’t say anything without betraying Pidge’s trust and while he liked Curtis, it wasn’t the same as talking to Shiro. Unfortunately, Shiro was using their vacation as an excuse to stay in bed for as long as possible every day and Keith wasn’t going to intrude on that.

Maybe he could phrase things in a way that wouldn’t betray Pidge’s confidence.

“Pidge was telling me more about her home and said something about everyone else thinking she and another mer are in a relationship, and it bothers me, I guess. It has to suck, being friends with someone and facing the expectation of there being more between you when there isn’t,” Keith said.

Curtis was silent for a moment as he sipped his black coffee. “Which part bothers you? The thought of Pidge being with this person? Or is it sympathy toward Pidge for being put into that situation?”

The image of Pidge and the faceless mer flashed through his mind.

Keith swallowed. “The first one. Though, I mean, the second part too. I don’t know, Curtis. The whole thing sucks.”

Curtis smiled at him. “You must really like her. Shiro and I had our suspicions, but we didn’t want to say anything. And we still won’t, because this is your journey, Keith. This is something you have to figure out on your own.”

He liked Pidge.

Well, obviously he liked Pidge! She was his friend and always had been, even if he’d forgotten for a while.

But that wasn’t what Curtis was saying, and Keith wasn’t sure he was comfortable with the direction his mind was taking him. To think of Pidge in a way that went beyond friendship…

Heat rushed to his cheeks as his mind played out a scene replacing him with the faceless mer, holding Pidge lovingly in his arms. It was ridiculous and he felt guilty thinking of her that way, but he couldn’t help himself. Once the thought was there, it only blossomed and grew stronger, and all at once, Keith fully understood why the thought of Pidge being with Lotor bothered him so much.

“I like Pidge,” Keith said softly.

Shiro was never going to let him live it down. Not after the way Keith teased him about his crushes in the past.

“If you want a little extra advice: take your time with this. You don’t need to go rushing in,” Curtis said.

Keith nodded, though he wasn’t really listening anymore. He thanked Curtis for his help and continued to sit at the table and drink his coffee, finishing up just as Shiro shuffled into the kitchen in his pajamas.

Shiro looked pointedly at Keith’s cup. “Rough night?”

“Curtis will tell you about it,” Keith said, standing up to put his cup in the dishwasher. He ignored the overly dramatic way Curtis swooned as he declared “Keith’s in love”, and instead walked right by him without a word.

The last thing Keith heard as he started down the stairs was Shiro asking: “What’s really going on?”

He took his time, still trying to decide the best way to talk to Pidge.

It was no secret that he wasn’t the best at vocalizing his feelings, and that was especially true when he was still trying to figure them out for himself. He knew that there were some jealousy issues to work out and Shiro always said that the best way to counter potential misunderstandings was by talking it out, so that was what he was going to do.

Even if he had no idea how to do that.

Maybe he should wait until he had proper time to digest, but it was a little late for that, as he reached the bottom of the stairs and automatically gravitated toward the pool. He smiled at Pidge as she popped her head out of the water, waiting patiently for him to sit down before she swam forward and held out her hand. He reached out to meet her halfway, letting their fingertips touch first before pressing their palms together.

‘I really like her.’

Pidge looked up at him curiously. “Are you alright?”

His eyes flickered to her face. “I, uh… I was thinking…”

Thinking what? He wasn’t sure that there was a single solid thought running through his head between the cacophony of sirens ringing in his ears. His mind was a mess. He was overthinking everything. Underthinking everything. Staying upstairs to face Shiro’s teasing would be far better than the meltdown he was currently experiencing.

“We’ve never hugged,” he blurted out.

“Well, no, but that’s because you always said it was too dangerous for you to go into the water. That’s why we do our own thing, remember?” Pidge sounded confused.

He was already screwing things up. His cheeks burned as she looked away from her and he knew he needed to stop talking, but more words spilled out anyway. “Sorry, I’m being stupid. You’re right. We have our own thing.”

Pidge responded by threading her fingers through his own. “It should be safe enough for you in here, so why don’t we try?” She tugged gently, enticing him to follow her deeper into the pool, and smiled softly when he went along with her without complaint. She stopped once they reached the deep end, where she let go of her hand and turned around to face him. “Hold your breath.”

Keith followed her directions just in time, as she looped her arms around his neck and her tail around his legs at the same time. He instinctively placed his hands where her skin blended into scales, his mind barely having time to process how closely she was pressed against him before they sank underwater.

He didn’t panic, even as his heart began to race. Part of his mind noted that the way she hugged him was entirely different from the way she hugged Lance the day before, but that information wouldn’t hit him until later, once he had time to revisit the new memory. He could feel her sigh against him as she tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

Disappointment washed over him when she moved a few seconds later, lifting herself up so they were face-to-face, but that feeling didn’t last for long.

Pidge lightly brushed her lips against his and his brain short-circuited.

Keith exhaled in shock, blowing bubbles directly into Pidge’s face. She began laughing and unwound her tail, helping him back to the surface so he could catch his breath. He was sure his face was bright red as he voiced his apologies.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Pidge said, unable to keep herself from grinning. There was a pink hue spreading across her face - a blush, perhaps? (Did mer blush like humans?) “I, uh, I’m sorry too. I should have warned you or asked permission or something. It seemed like the perfect moment, but all I’ve done is made a mess instead.”

“You haven’t,” Keith was quick to reassure her. “I was surprised that time, but we can try again.”

They should probably talk about what was happening. Keith knew that. Pidge likely knew that as well, but both of them were too elated by what was happening, the thrill of their friendship possibly shifting into something more overriding any logical thought.

Keith held his breath again as Pidge pulled him back underwater.

- - - - -

Later, once Keith’s head began to swim from repeated lack of oxygen, the two finally settled down to talk. They retreated to the steps, where Keith remained submerged in the water so Pidge could recline against him.

“I really like you,” he told her.

“That’s good,” Pidge said. “Because I like you too. A lot.”

After that, it was as though a wall toppled down between them. Pidge took the lead at first, delving into the joy she felt at seeing him again, the way she nearly spilled everything to him the day she caught herself admiring the way the sunlight brought out a shade of violet in his hair, and her fear as she began to wonder if her feelings were born of a ten-year wait to see him again.

“Do you still think that?” Keith asked.

“Not anymore. Actually, Matt caught me moping about it and we talked, so that helped me a bit. It was right before Lotor…” Pidge trailed off and shook her head. “It was the night before Lotor found out that I was seeing you, which made everything worse, I think. Here I was, worrying about my feelings for you, and suddenly I have an even bigger mess to figure out, but before I have a chance to do anything, those guards get it in their heads that I deserve banishment or whatever!” She stopped to breathe, electricity crackling harmlessly over her scales. It tingled against Keith’s skin where they touched.

“Is that what happened to your hair?” he asked.

Pidge lifted her hand to touch the ends of it. “Yeah, that’s a typical method of punishment for the Galra. The loss of braids, and especially adornments, is a big deal to them. It was upsetting at first, but I can grow it back. Mostly, I was just afraid. Coming to you was the only thing that made sense.”

Her show of trust made his head swell, just as much as the sadness in her eyes made it clench in pain. He wanted to say something comforting, but everything he could think of sounded so hollow.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that,” he said.

Pidge gave him a soft smile. “I do wish it all went differently, but it gave us all of this extra time to spend together, so I feel oddly… thankful?”

Ten years ago, he would have argued with her on that point. Five years ago, he would have started a fight about it, not intentionally, but out of misplaced anger. Luckily, living with Shiro as his brother for eight years had helped quell that fire that raged inside of him at all of the injustices of the world.

Patience yields focus.

Keith breathed out. “You might have a good point. It would have taken me longer to figure out my feelings for you. Probably not until I got home…” His throat tightened.

He would’ve gotten home and been so listless, so lost, and not known why. How long would it have taken him to figure it out? Shiro would have to step in, he knew that much. But would it have been too late by then?

“That doesn’t make what happened to you a good thing,” Keith said fiercely, kicking himself for thinking that way. He blinked in surprise when he felt Pidge tug him down by the sleeve of his soaked shirt so she could stretch herself up and kiss his cheek.

“Thank you, Keith. Now, enough about this. It’s your turn for an emotional confession about all of the things you like about me,” Pidge said, her eyes glittering playfully.

Where could he start?

He loved listening to her ramble on or get caught up in long-winded tangents, before abruptly leaping back to her original topic, even if it meant he struggled to follow her stories. He loves the passion she held for her work. Her mischievous grin when she was about to make a pun. The cute way she tilted her head when she was puzzled by something.

Most of all, he loved how comfortable he felt with her.

The two of them talked for some time, lost in their own private world, right up until a knock at the door jolted them back to reality. They both looked to the glass door, where Lance stood in his borrowed jeans.

Keith lifted his hand in greeting, giving Lance silent permission to come inside.

“Hunk sent me with some food,” he said as he walked over to the side of the pool. He raised an eyebrow at their closeness but didn’t comment on it. “He also says that he’s jealous that you get to try surface cuisine and he wants to hear all about it once you get back, nevermind the number of times I’ve offered to bring food from mom.” Lance rolled his eyes.

Pidge laughed as she moved away to accept the bundle of food. “Sounds like Hunk’s doing just fine. How are Matt and my parents?”

“Still upset that you left without saying anything, but glad that you’re safe. Matt says if you don’t come home soon, he’s going to go through your stuff and color code it to his own specifications,” Lance said.

Pidge gasped in mock outrage. “He wouldn’t!”

“He might,” Lance said with a shrug. He glanced over at Keith, who wondered if it was a good time to make an excuse to go upstairs and leave them to talk. “Speaking of you going home, any idea when you’re going to?”

“Not yet.”

“Pidge-”

“I’m not ready yet,” she said stubbornly.

And yeah, that was Keith’s cue to go. He murmured an excuse to go check on Shiro and Curtis before getting out of the pool. He toweled off to the best of his ability on his way upstairs, where he found Curtis talking on the phone. He took one look at the expression on Keith’s face and pointed to the door leading out to the upper deck, where Shiro was leaning against the rail and enjoying the hot summer sun.

He turned to look at Keith when he heard the door slide open.

“Did Lance chase you off already?” Shiro asked.

Keith shrugged as he joined his brother. “It seemed like they have some things to talk about without me around. Mer stuff or whatever.” He vaguely waved his hand and then fell still, staring out over the ocean.

For a few minutes, neither of them spoke.

“I’ve been thinking about what Lance said, about the Royal Alteans and their magic.”

That wasn’t at all what Keith expected to hear. He looked up at Shiro with a frown. “What’s this about?”

“You’re happy here. Happier than I’ve ever seen you, and I can’t help but think that it’s more than just Pidge influencing that. This house, the ocean… this is where you belong.”

It didn’t take Keith long to figure out what Shiro was saying.

“I’m not leaving you,” Keith said, panic seeping into his voice. “Shiro, I can’t!”

“You could,” Shiro gently disagreed. “Keith, look at me. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, you will always be my brother. No matter what choice you make, I will be there to support you. And this is your choice to make. I’m just pointing out one of the possibilities to you.” He held his arms open and let Keith hide his tears in the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Why do you always have to be like this? You’re the older one. Shouldn’t you be telling me not to go running off to live in the ocean with the girl I like?” Keith grumbled.

“Probably,” Shiro acknowledged.

Keith pulled back and wiped his eyes. “It’s ridiculous. I don’t… I couldn’t. What about your - our parents? What will you tell everyone?”

“We’d figure it out somehow. Lance should have a good idea of how this sort of thing works. You should ask him about it, if it’s something you’re genuinely considering,” Shiro said.

There was something about asking Lance for help that grated on his nerves, but that would be his best option. Far better than getting Pidge’s hopes up.

Though that raised another question: Did Pidge want him to go with her? What if their relationship wasn’t meant to last? The transformation was permanent, according to Lance, so would he be okay living in the ocean if he and Pidge had a fight and ended their relationship?

Keith had a lot to think about. A lot of pros and cons to weight before he came close to deciding. And somewhere in there, a talk with Lance to figure out how any of it would work.

“How many days do we have left?” Keith asked.

“Maybe a week more?” Shiro responded though he didn’t sound sure. “You don’t have to decide by then, but I’d talk to Lance for sure. This is a life-changing choice and I don’t want you to think of it as now or never just because we leave soon. We can always come back. The house isn’t going anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Keith murmured, his eyes drawn back to the ocean as he pondered the possibilities laid before him.

- - - - - 

Talking to Lance sucked.

They needled each other in all the wrong ways, which led to more bickering than coherent discussion, but eventually, they managed to (mostly) set aside their differences to have a civil conversation.

Keith had to admit, Lance had a wealth of information about the process, thanks to his half-mer lineage. Apparently, he and his older sister were the only two who chose to live in Arus, while the rest of his family lived on the surface and helped serve as liaisons between the two worlds. Anything Lance didn’t know, one of them could help with.

“You’d be surprised by how many people around here know the truth about mer. Loads of people around here are descendants, whether they know it or not, and it’s become a tradition to embrace stories about mer as part of the town tourism. It helps throw off people who really want to do us harm, I guess. Anyway, my family helps out a lot with any issues that crop up and my brother has a boat, which will be useful if you decide to go through with this.”

Keith looked at him in confusion. “Why would that be useful?”

“It’ll get us away from prying eyes, for one. And the spellwork will be easier away from the shore, especially the one here. Unless you want to get cut up by rocks?”

He had a good point, so Keith let it drop and agreed that a boat would be useful. Lance had a few more things to tell him before he left for the day, including a word of warning.

If Keith chose to live the rest of his life in the ocean, it couldn’t be solely because of Pidge. He had to be sure it was what he wanted for himself because once he chose, there would be no going back.

Keith knew that, but hearing it from someone else put it into sharper perspective.

Any time he didn’t spend agonizing over what he would do, he spent with Pidge. Not much had changed between them since their make-out session, aside from a newfound closeness and Pidge’s habit of finding ways to drape herself over him. They still sat around and talked. One day Keith brought a tv downstairs and watched a few movies with her, doing his best to explain “movie magic” to her until Shiro or Curtis took pity on him and lent a hand.

The days flew by, every second ticking away at an alarming rate. Keith knew their time was coming to an end when he saw Pidge gazing at the door with more and more frequency.

“I should go back tomorrow,” she said quietly.

“Already?” The word slipped out without Keith meaning for it to happen and he grimaced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’ve been away from your home for a while now and I know you miss it.”

“I do miss it. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I haven’t, but I really do. I miss my family, my work, everything about Arus,” Pidge said. “It’s time I stopped hiding. And anyway, you have to leave soon too, don’t you? I heard Curtis say something about packing.”

Keith swallowed. “About that… I don’t think I’m going with them.”

Pidge tilted her head to the side. “Why not?”

“I’ve been talking to Lance about something and figuring out a few things, and now I’ve decided.” Keith paused to steady his breathing. “I’ve decided that I’m going back with you. To Arus.”

For a brief moment, Keith thought she might tell him no, but then a delighted trill filled the air. That was his only warning before she hauled him down by his shirt and kissed him fully on the mouth. It was only a quick kiss, but it conveyed her happiness perfectly well.

“You’re going to love Arus!” she said as they separated. “I can’t wait to show you everything! Oh, I wonder what your coloring will be? That’s always the interesting part about this. The way Altean magic works, it should look similar to mine, just a different color.” Pidge stopped and took a hard look at Keith. “You’re sure about this, right? Lance told you that it’s a one-way transformation?”

“I know, and this is what I want,” Keith said.

Her pensive expression was swept away by a bright smile as she again began to talk about all of the things she could show him. He could only grin at her enthusiasm, though he was still slightly confused about what a klanmuirl was and how it was relevant to what she was talking about.

The more they talked, the more certain Keith was of his choice, and with Shiro’s unwavering support, he found that he was only slightly nervous when the day arrived.

Lance took care of everything. He roped his human family into helping them get to the right place, on top of convincing someone named Allura to meet them near the surface so she could perform the necessary spell. All Keith had to do was follow his instructions and everything would work out the way it was meant to.

Pidge threw a wrench in their planning when she decided at the last minute that she didn’t want to swim out to meet them, but travel by boat along with Keith. Once again, Lance and his family came to the rescue with a specially designed wheelchair that was equipped with a water tank and a blanket to hide her tail from view.

Keith stayed by her side the whole time, easing his nerves by quietly answering her questions as he pushed her through town. It worked until they reached the boat owned by Lance’s oldest brother, Luis, and were introduced to him and his mom, who insisted on being called Alita rather than Ms. McClain.

“Thanks for doing this for us,” Shiro said as he helped move a plank into place. Making a bridge was the only way they would be able to get Pidge onto the boat without taking her out of the wheelchair.

“It’s no problem. We love helping out where we can, and Pidge is a family friend,” Luis said. He bent down to make sure the board was stable and then gestured for Keith to push her across. Once they were safely on the boat, he and Shiro moved the plank back onto the dock for anyone else to use.

“Let’s get this party started!” Lance enthusiastically said as he jogged up behind them.

Keith jumped in surprise at the mer’s unexpected arrival. “I thought you were meeting us out there.”

“Huh? Nah, I’m the only one able to signal Allura once it’s safe for her to find us, and that’ll be way easier if I’m with you guys,” Lance said. He hopped the gap onto the boat, beating his brother and Shiro. “Alright there, Katie?”

Pidge nodded. “This is so cool! I never thought I’d actually be able to ride in one of these!”

Lance shrugged, apparently not seeing what the big deal was, and stepped out of the way to greet his mom, who opened her arms wide and hugged him tightly, as though it had been years since she last saw him rather than a few hours.

As everyone else got settled on the boat, Luis worked on untying them from the dock. It wasn’t long before they were ready to set sail for a point on the ocean that only the McClain family knew about.

While Shiro and Curtis made small talk and Pidge stared in awe at the rapidly shrinking shoreline, Keith closed his eyes and tipped back his head, lost in thought.

What would his dad say, if he were still around? Would he try and talk Keith out of it? Would he be supportive?

He thought about him a lot throughout his vacation. How could he not when he was home after so long? His dad loved that house and living so close to the ocean. Maybe he wasn’t drawn to it in the same way that Keith was, but he loved it all the same.

Keith had the fleeting thought of his dad insisting on joining him undersea and tried not to grin. That was absolutely something he would do, if he was still around.

A hand on Keith’s shoulder brought him out of his thoughts, and as he opened his eyes he realized they had stopped. The boat was unnaturally still on the water, not even rocking as the motor cut off.

“It’s time,” Pidge said, smiling at him. She took her hand away as Keith stood and walked in front of her, bending down so she could wrap her arms around his neck. He lifted her with ease and completely missed the looks of surprise from Luis and Alita, and carried her to the back of the boat, where Lance stood with his arms out.

Keith sucked in a breath as he took in the reason the boat wasn’t shifting in the waves. There were none. The water was flattened around them in a perfect sphere, held back by some sort of magic.

“Pretty awesome, right? I can do way better in my other form, but this is good enough for now,” Lance bragged.

“Show off,” Pidge teased, wriggling in anticipation. She took a moment to compose herself and then asked Keith to turn around so she could properly say goodbye to Shiro and Curtis.

Once she was done, Keith let her slide from his arms and watched as she splashed into the water below, disappearing from view. The ripples evened out before she breached the surface and waved up at him. “Allura and Hunk are here, so I’m going to go say hi! Come on in once you’re ready.”

“I guess this is it,” Keith said. He looked at Shiro, thankful that no more words needed to be spoken as they embraced, holding on tightly for as long as they could. When they separated, it wasn’t with dry eyes.

Curtis opened his arms and pulled Keith in for a brief hug. “We’ll see you next summer. Earlier, if we can manage it.”

Keith nodded and then stepped back up to the edge, preparing to jump in. He saw that two other mer had joined Pidge on the surface; one had dark hair and what looked like a yellow-orange cloth wrapped across his forehead, and the other mer had white hair and bright pink marks on each cheek.

“You might want to strip out of your clothes before you jump in,” Lance warned him. “Transforming is uncomfortable enough without those getting in the way.”

Before Keith could start to look around for a solution to preserve his modesty, Shiro tossed him a towel patterned with crabs for him to wrap around his waist. He shot Lance an irritated look before he began to strip, neatly folding his clothes and setting them aside, piece by piece.

Lance rolled his eyes.

Keith made sure he had a good grip on the towel, held his breath, and then jumped, plunging feet-first into the water. He resurfaced quickly, aided by Pidge to stay afloat, though it wasn’t too difficult to do on his own thanks to Lance’s iron control over the surface of the water.

“Keith, I’d like to meet Hunk and Allura,” Pidge said, gesturing first to the dark-haired mer and then to the one with pink markings.

Hunk surprised him by swimming in for a hug. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“Uh yeah. You too?” Keith said, taken aback by the friendliness Hunk immediately showed him. He looked at Allura, wondering if she was about to do the same, but she simply smiled warmly and then got straight to business.

“Lance has already informed you of how this process goes, but I’d like to go over it one last time,” she said.

Keith was momentarily surprised by her accent, but brushed it aside and nodded, willing to do whatever he needed to.

“It’s very important that I complete the spell uninterrupted. If not, you will revert to purely human and we will not be able to try again. You must remain calm and that will not be an easy task.” Allura’s gaze softened, though her voice remained firm. “You will feel discomfort as your body changes, but it should not escalate to terrible pain. For some, that discomfort is too much and they lose sight of what is happening. Should you forget to hold your breath and start to drown, I will stop.”

Keith nodded. Lance had gone through everything with him a number of times, in greater detail. “I’m ready.”

Pidge kissed his cheek and then swam over to Hunk, remaining a safe distance away.

Allura glanced up at Lance. “How are you holding up?”

“I could do this all day, beautiful,” he responded with a wink.

Allura rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. She lifted her hands out of the water and held them out towards Keith. “Take my hands and hold your breath so we may begin.”

Keith did so, closing his eyes as well as Allura pulled him under the water. He expected a feeling of panic or alarm to set in as all sound became muffled and he sank deeper, but he felt perfectly at ease.

If he were to open his eyes, he would see the crescent marks on Allura’s cheeks begin to glow, and soon after the matching patterns on her upper arms and sides. Her magic went to work, slowly transferring into him, seeking out what needed to be changed, and then it picked up speed.

Keith felt the warmth first, settling in his chest and legs. And then came the prickling feeling, like he sat the wrong way for too long and his legs were going numb. It intensified and Keith wondered if he’d been lied to about the pain, but it eased up after a few seconds.

Allura let go of his hands, and soon after his ears popped and he could hear clearly. He opened his eyes in shock, fearing for a moment that he’d floated back up to the surface, ruining the whole spell and his chance at being with Pidge.

He found himself staring at Allura, who looked back at him with a shocked expression. Hunk and Pidge were a respectful distance away, but he found that he could see them clearly through the water.

Hunk and Allura were as different from one another as they were from Pidge and Lance. He remembered Pidge saying something about different types of tails, but it was only by seeing it for himself that he understood what she meant.

Hunk had a magnificent tail, banded with stripes of golden-yellow and brown. His fins fanned around him in great spikes, making him appear even larger than he was.

Allura was his opposite. She was slender and fluid, with fins that danced like sheer curtains caught in a breeze. Her scales were dazzling in color and were primarily white, with splotches of pinks and a hint of blue.

“You should be able to breathe now,” Allura said.

He released the air he’d been holding in the form of a few tiny bubbles, and then, going against his innate instinct to rush to the surface, he breathed in.

“It worked,” he said in wonder, raising his hands to see if there was anything different. There was slightly more webbing between his fingers to aid in swimming, but no other visual difference. As he looked down his body, however, he started to see the reason for the shock on Allura’s face.

At his waist, his skin faded smoothly into a purple color, which remained light across what was once the tops of his legs, while at his sides it began transitioning to a darker shade. Dots of red splashed through that transitional area, spaced so closely together that it looked like a splotchy ribbon winding down each side of his tail.

His tail which was not scaled, but instead resembled shark skin. Keith reached down to check and found that it was rough to the touch.

Keith looked back at Pidge, who swam in closer with an expression of awe on her face. She reached out, touching his lower jaw and tracing something up onto his cheek. “It worked,” he giddily repeated to her and then turned his attention back to Allura. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Keith, but all you needed was a bit of a nudge in the right direction. Your own magic handled the rest on its own,” Allura said.

“My… my own magic?” Keith asked with a frown.

Allura nodded. “Perhaps we should take this above water. I’m sure everyone would like to hear this.”

Pidge helped Keith rise gently back up to the surface, whispering to him how to move in a way that wouldn’t have him spinning in circles or moving too fast.

“That was fast,” Lance remarked as they all popped their heads up. He continued to keep the water still. “There wasn’t a complication, was there?”

“No, it worked flawlessly. Even better than I expected, to be honest, but that is all thanks to Keith’s lineage,” Allura said.

His lineage. Keith was still trying to work his brain around his own magic working to help Allura’s, and she had to throw that into the mix? There was something about his bloodline that helped him become a mer?

Alita stepped forward, her expression kind as she addressed Keith. “You’re Travis Hawkins’ boy, aren’t you? I always suspected he had knowledge of mer-folk, but I never knew how. Now I suppose we finally know, it was thanks to your mother.”

“My mother?”

All Keith felt was confusion. What did his mom have to do with anything? He never had the chance to meet her, and his dad never talked about her.

“Keith, you have Galra markings,” Pidge said. “That sort of thing is only passed down from parent to child. If both of your parents were born human, even if one of your grandparents was mer, then you wouldn’t inherit that magic. This means your mom was Galra.”

He was half-mer.

Shock settled over him.

Shiro seemed to realize the same thing, but his surprise quickly gave way to joy. “Keith, do you know what this means? You’re half-mer, like Lance! You can come back and visit whenever you’d like! That is what that means, right?” He looked to Lance for confirmation.

“It’ll take some practice to shift correctly, but yeah. Pretty much,” Lance said.

He could come back.

He wouldn’t spend the rest of his life separated from his brother.

Keith still wanted to go live with Pidge, but the relief he felt at having the option to return soothed him in a way he hadn’t expected. Slowly, his shock began to wear off. He could see Shiro again. Could go for walks along the shore. And at the end of the day, he could go home to Pidge.

“I could come back to see you off,” he said, ignoring Lance’s quiet admonishment that he needed practice first and it wasn’t easy. He’d master it in hours just to spite the blue-tailed mer.

“Then we’ll see you in two days and you can tell us all about your new home before we leave,” Shiro said.

Hunk swam up next to them. “Speaking of home, we should get back before everyone starts to wonder where you’ve gone, princess.”

Allura nodded. “Yes, of course. Lance, are you ready?”

Lance looked relieved by the news but continued to work his magic over the area despite the slight tremor in his arms. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Goodbyes were exchanged and Keith smiled at his brother one more time before inexpertly diving underwater to follow Pidge and the others to the teludav that would take him to his new home.

[ryqoshay]

Tri-Arame: Sitting Sasuke

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~3k Rating: G Time Frame: Late in the first trimester of their 2nd year Story Arc: Stand Alone

———-

Author’s Note: Ever since myon included Sasuke in her SetsuAyu doujin, I knew I needed to include Ayumu’s pet in my fic as well. And I had to borrow a certain idea from the doujin as well, because it fit so well with headcanons I already had for the girls.

I’ll link the doujin as well as another source of inspiration in my followup post so tumblr doesn’t drop this one from searches; the tag is barren enough as it is...

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Setsuna hummed happily to herself as she entered the clubroom and turned toward her hidden stash of manga with the intent of getting a chapter or two read before the others arrived. The next book was being released soon in one of her favorite series, so she wanted to reread the previous book to remind herself where everything had left off. Of course, the series was so good that any of the books warranted a reread on their own merit as well.

However, something on the other side of the room caught Setsuna’s eye. Strange, she didn’t remember an aquarium there before. Her manga quickly forgotten, she made her way over. Oh, it wasn’t an aquarium as it wasn’t filled with water, rather it just had a bowl of it in the middle. What was the term used for… terrarium, that was it. So, what critter had one of her friends decided to bring to school?

Setsuna hunched down to get a better view into the various structures in which an animal could hide within the terrarium. At first, she didn’t see anything, so she shifted her position to check through one of the side panels. And that was when she finally spotted it, a purple snake, coiled up inside something that resembled a pink rabbit.

“It’s so~ cu~te!” Setsuna couldn’t help saying aloud as she stared, transfixed at the animal.

Though she’d never considered herself a fan of snakes, she wasn’t exactly afraid of them either. She’d seen larger snakes at the zoo and smaller ones while out hiking but had always been indifferent toward them. This time, however, instead of a neutral reaction, she found herself wanting to hold this one and see it up close. As such, Setsuna had to resist the urge to pull off the top of the terrarium and reach in. It would be best to ask permission from the owner, she told herself. After all, she didn’t know if it was venomous or if it would be afraid of strangers or whatever and the last thing she wanted to do was to scare or hurt the cute little thing.

“Setsuna-chan?”

Setsuna jumped and let out a startled cry as she whirled to face the door, twisting awkwardly from her position and throwing herself off balance. “Yuu-san? Ayumu-san?” She uttered, catching herself on the bookshelf.

“You found him…” Ayumu’s expression was apologetic.

“Eh?” Setsuna was confused. How was she expected to not notice such a sizable addition to the clubroom?

“Sorry for not asking permission first.”

Oh. Yeah, it did actually violate one of the school’s policies. But Setsuna hadn’t even considered that earlier as she had been so distracted by the adorableness. And of course, he belonged to Ayumu, the pink rabbit enclosure should have been enough of a giveaway.

“It’s fine. I’ll let it slide this time.” Setsuna assured.

Relief took over Ayumu’s posture. “Thank you.”

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure of his visit?”

“Construction.” Yuu said.

“Hm?”

“That storm last week did some damage to the exterior of our apartment complex.” Yuu explained further. “So now they’re fixing it.”

“And the noise has been stressing out Sasuke to the point where he’s not eating or even wanting to be held or do anything other than hide.” Ayumu continued.

“So, poor Sasuke-san is scared?” Setsuna turned her attention back to the terrarium. “Awwww…”

“Under different circumstances, I’d give him to Yuu-chan for a little while, but she’s right next door, so that wouldn’t be much of an escape.”

“That makes sense.”

“Plus, I’ve temporarily banned Yuu-chan from feeding Sasuke because she…”

“Ayumu~!” Yuu suddenly whined. “That’s supposed to be a secret! And besides, it’s not my fault he keeps looking at me with those adorable, pleading eyes. How could I not give him a second serving?” She blinked and covered her mouth as she realized she had just been the one to divulge the details of the supposed secret.

Both Setsuna and Ayumu laughed a little at the cute behavior.

“Anyway,” Ayumu continued “I was hoping I could either leave him here for a little while or maybe someone from the club could…”

“I’ll take him!” Setsuna offered before realizing she was interrupting. “Sorry, I mean…”

This time, it was Yuu who chuckled at the reaction.

“It’s alright.” Ayumu dismissed with a shake of her head and a smile. “But are you sure? Do you want to check with your parents first?”

“It will be fine.”

“Have you ever taken care of a snake before?”

“No, but surly I can look up what I need online, right?”

“I’ll just write up a list of things that Sasuke is used to, like feeding times and temperatures and light and such.”

“That works too.” Setsuna nodded. “Say, uhm… you said he didn’t like being held…”

“Oh, no, he usually likes it when I hold and play with him, but he’s just been so stressed by the noise…”

“I see, do you think maybe I could…” Setsuna’s gaze drifted back toward the terrarium.

“Well, he’s pretty shy around strangers.” Ayumu admitted. “It took him a number of visits to get used to Yuu-chan. You’re welcome to try, of course, but don’t be too disappointed if he doesn’t respond.”

Setsuna couldn’t help smiling as she lifted the hinged portion of the lid. “Hey, Sasuke-san.” She cooed as she reached her hand toward the pink structure.

A curious purple head poked out at the mention of his name and a forked tongue flicked out to taste the scent of the new person invading his home. Setsuna paused a few centimeters away, remembering Ayumu saying he might be shy and hoping Sasuke would be the one to close the distance. Thankfully, her instincts were right and a moment later he was coiling around her hand and wrist. She giggled at the strange sensation of scales sliding over her skin.

“Wow…” Yuu breathed in awe.

“I think he likes you, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu said happily.

“He really is adorable…” Setsuna swooned as she pulled her arm out of the tank and moved it closer so she could better inspect the creature.

As if in response to the praise, Sasuke slithered farther up the raven-haired girl’s arm and held his head up close to her face.

“Uhm, forgive me for asking, Ayumu-san,” Setsuna started as she reached her free hand up to pat the snake gently on the head “but what made you choose a snake for a pet? He’s adorable, but I would have thought you would go with something…” she paused to decide the best word “fluffier? Like a rabbit or something.”

“It was all Yuu-chan’s fault.” Ayumu responded with a smile that indicated a wealth of warm memories were welling up within her.

Of course. That made sense.

“Rabbits are definitely one of my favorite animals,” the redhead continued “and Yuu-chan has known that since not long after we met. So, for my birthday one year, she saved up and tried to buy a stuffed rabbit she knew I would like.”

“But it turned out to be a bit too expensive.” Yuu added with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. “So as a last resort, I found a plush I knew I could get from a crane machine, a purple snake. I was worried she wouldn’t like it, but…”

“I’m sure Ayumu-san would like any gift from Yuu-san.” Setsuna thought aloud.

“You’re right there, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu confirmed.

“Working hard to obtain a gift but ending up having to get something else that is still loved by the recipient because the thoughtfulness of the giver is more important to them is a classic trope.” Setsuna explained. “Some of my favorite episodes and chapters have been centered around such a plot device.”

Both Yuu and Ayumu laughed lightly.

“So that made you fall in love with snakes and that’s why you got Sasuke-san?” Setsuna pondered.

Ayumu shook her head. “No, that was Yuu-chan again. She spotted him at a pet store and set up a plan for me to get him.”

“Like with the plush from years before, he was more expensive than I could afford.” Yuu admitted. “But I had the store hold him for a few days and between Ayumu and I, and with some help from her parents, we were able to get him.”

“Mmm, that sounds nice.” Setsuna said with a smile, despite a small pang of jealousy. But who could blame her? Who wouldn’t want to be with someone so obviously devoted to them? “Hehe.” She suddenly laughed as a completely different idea came to her. “If I put him over my shoulders, instead of a feather boa, I’d be wearing an actual boa.”

“He’s a python actually.” Ayumu corrected. “A ball python. But he does like riding on my shoulders at home.”

“Want to ride my shoulders?” Setsuna asked of the snake on her arm as if he might actually understand. “I’d wear him through practice if I wasn’t afraid of him falling.” She continued as she coaxed Sasuke into position.

“He’s pretty good at holding on as I walk around.” Ayumu said. “But the sudden movements of our dances might scare him.”

“Mmm.” Setsuna nodded in agreement. “But still, wouldn’t it be fun to design a costume around him?”

“Maybe write a song about him?” Yuu chimed in.

“Yeah, something like a ballad with slow, graceful movements.” She hummed a random tune and made gentle wave motions with her arms, carefully monitoring Sasuke’s response. “Though I suppose if he’s shy, he may not like the crowd too much…”

“Or the flashing lights and effects.” Ayumu added.

“Well if that’s a concern, why not a small, private show?” Yuu suggested. “Like just the three of us?”

“That might work better.” Ayumu seemed to be warming to the idea.

“Sounds like fun.” Setsuna said with an excited smile.

“Oh, and if we do want to share it with others,” Yuu shared in the excitement “we could always film it and make it a PV to post online.”

“That’s an amazing idea, Yuu-san! We should try that someday.”

“Semp… AAAIII!” Kasumi’s call for her senior turned into a scream.

“Kasumi-san?!” Shizuku exclaimed as her fellow first-year spun and barreled into her as though she had forgotten she was there.

“S-s-snake!” The ash blonde cried in a panic, trying to push past the brunette to escape the clubroom they had just entered.

“Kasumi-san, wait!” Shizuku called before giving chase to her fellow first-year.

“Uhm…” Setsuna pondered as she moved back toward the terrarium. “Do we have anything here that we could use to cover this thing until I can bring it home after practice?”

“I think Kanata-san has a blanket or two…” Yuu thought aloud.

“We probably shouldn’t borrow them without her permission.” Ayumu dismissed. “What if she is scared of snakes as well and it ends up bothering her to have her blankets used in such a way?”

“Perhaps we can leave him in the student counsel office for the time being?” Setsuna offered.

“That sounds good.” Ayumu nodded.

“Back in you go, Sasuke-san.” Setsuna guided the snake down her arm and into his terrarium. “Everything will be alright. One short little move now and another big one in a bit, but then you’ll be in a nice quite apartment. Sound like a plan?”

For his part, Sasuke slithered into his rabbit enclosure and coiled up. However, after a moment, he poked his head out and stared at Setsuna for a few seconds before pulling back in.

“Looks like he agrees.” Ayumu commented before lifting the tank to take it to the student counsel office.

----------

Everything was not alright.

Setsuna sighed as she stared at the snake in the terrarium she had just finished setting up in her room.

She really should have checked with her parents first. Or perhaps she should have made sure she knew everything about caring for a snake before she jumped at the opportunity to do so. While she maintained confidence that she was able to do everything on Ayumu’s list, it took quite a bit of convincing before her parents let her store the frozen mice in their freezer.

And what the heck was up with this one instruction on the list? Was it normal for snake owners to sing to their pets to encourage them to eat? Or was it simply something special Ayumu did for Sasuke?

Well, Setsuna did recall reading at some point about some study performed with music as an aid in plant growth. And it was true that music had a power that transcended the need to understand the language of the lyrics. Babies and many mammals responded positively to music. So why not reptiles? Suddenly, the practice no longer seemed strange to Setsuna.

She got up and quickly made her way to the bathroom to retrieve the mouse she had left thawing in the sink. Ayumu had mentioned that since Sasuke was well past his scheduled feeding, that Setsuna should make an attempt as soon as possible.

“Ready to eat, Sasuke-san?” Setsuna asked, pulling the mouse out of its bag with a large pair of tweezers and opening the lid of the terrarium. “Here comes a cute little mouse.” She moved the food as though to pretend it was alive.

When Sasuke did not seem to repond, Setsuna leaned down to check. Sure enough, he hadn’t budged at all. His eyes were open, so he was undoubtedly aware of Setsuna and the presence of food, but he remained still.

Well, music it is then. Setsuna stood straight and took a breath.

“Hashiridashita! Omoi wa tsuyoku suru yo.” Setsuna began, keeping her volume low so as not to disturb her parents. However, she almost forgot the next line when Sasuke’s head popped out of his enclosure. “Nayandara kimi no te o nigirou.” The snake seemed to be ignoring the mouse and stared directly up at her. As there was no music accompanying her, Setsuna skipped a few beats ahead to keep the song going. “Daiji na kimochi maru de uragiru you ni sugoshita…”

Setsuna continued through the first verse, watching Sasuke for any further response beyond occasionally flicking out his tongue. Upon reaching the chorus, she began moving the mouse again. This time, it caught Sasuke’s attention. Just inside the enclosure, Setsuna could see scales sliding past each other as the snake shifted its position. Then, right as she reached the end of the chorus, Sasuke struck.

Startled at the swift movement, Setsuna almost dropped the tweezers. Her mental record scratched for second before she recovered and continued into the second verse. She then withdrew the tweezers and gently closed the lid before watching with fascination as Sasuke began the process of slowly swallowing the mouse.

Only a bulge behind Sasuke’s head remained as evidence of his feeding by the time Setsuna finished her song. Smiling, she retrieved her phone and snapped a quick picture to send to Ayumu.

“Good boy, Sasuke-san.” Setsuna cooed a she hit Send.

UeharaAyumu: He ate!

UeharaAyumu: Oh thank goodness

UeharaAyumu: I was so worried

UeharaAyumu: Thank you so much Setsuna-chan!

ScarletStorm: You are welcome, Ayumu-san

ScarletStorm: But no thanks are truly necessary.

ScarletStorm: I merely followed your well-written instructions.

UeharaAyumu: But I do need to thank you

UeharaAyumu: For providing Sasuke with an environment where he felt comfortable

UeharaAyumu: He trusts you

UeharaAyumu: And that is enough to be thankful for

ScarletStorm: Very well then.

ScarletStorm: On a related note, your instructions say that I should not hold him until he is finished digesting?

UeharaAyumu: That’s right

UeharaAyumu: I think most of us might need a rest after eating basically a week’s worth of food in one meal

ScarletStorm: That makes sense

Though it made sense, Setsuna found it a little disappointing. While her primary reason for agreeing to watch Sasuke was to help a friend in need, she also had a selfish reason of wanting to experience what it might be like to have a pet, even if just for a week or so. And part of having a pet was petting it and holding it and the like, right?

UeharaAyumu: But don’t worry, Setsuna-chan

UeharaAyumu: He should be good to go in a day or two, depending on a few factors

UeharaAyumu: But given the circumstances, I would bet on the lower side of that range

UeharaAyumu: Just check in on him when you get home from practice tomorrow

UeharaAyumu: He trusts you so if he’s ready, he will come to you if you put your hand near him like you did earlier today

Setsuna chuckled. It almost seemed like Ayumu had read her mind though the phone.

ScarletStorm: Alright, I will try that tomorrow.

ScarletStorm: Thank you, Ayumu-san.

UeharaAyumu: I’m the one who should be thanking you

UeharaAyumu: For agreeing to take care of Sasuke

UeharaAyumu: And for getting him to eat

ScarletStorm: You already thanked me for that.

ScarletStorm: And the pleasure is mine.

ScarletStorm: Anyway, I need to get back to my studies.

ScarletStorm: But I wanted to give you an update on Sasuke-san first.

UeharaAyumu: It was very much appreciated

UeharaAyumu: Have a good night, Setsuna-chan

UeharaAyumu: See you tomorrow!

ScarletStorm: Yes, you as well. See you tomorrow.

Setsuna set down her phone and turned her attention back to the terrarium, only to find Sasuke staring up at her. Oh dear… was this what Yuu meant when she meant by adorable, pleading eyes? She suddenly empathized with the plight the twin-tailed girl faced. The temptation to go thaw out another mouse was ris… No. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke-san.” Setsuna apologized. “Ayumu-san said you can only have one at a time. She was very clear on that. But… she didn’t limit how many songs I could sing to you… Would you like me to sing something else?”

Sasuke lifted his head and flicked his tongue as if to respond that he was interested.

“Alright.” Setsuna said with a smile. “How about an old favorite of mine from one of the best groups in school idol history?”

----------

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[monsieur-hadrien]

Quarantine Harry Potter Fanfiction *READING LIST*

I’ve spent the past months reading copious amounts of fanfiction and now my amount of AO3 bookmarks is absurd. I really need to share these because if I don’t I think I might implode. Drarry-centric but not all!

These are in no particular order nor is there a particular time frame that these were all posted. I have a little bit of everything in here just you wait.

On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads by Enigmaris 

56 Chapters, 247k Words, Complete, no slash, T Rating

Marvel, Norse Mythology, Harry Potter Crossover

TW: Past Abandonment

Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.

We’re starting off strong with a Marvel crossover fanfic wow. Who knew that crossovers could be done tastefully as 2013 Wattpad kind of ruined it for us. However, this fic changed my mind! This fic is funny as fuck and is just a goodass time. I love a good multi-chapter fic (as you’ll soon see) and this one is a showstopper.

The Man Who Lived by sebastianL

42 Chapters, 254k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Deptictions of Violence

Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee.

With all of the Black Lives Matter protests happening right now, I think that this fic is super relevant. Draco has moved to New York City and is working as a receptionist at a tattoo shop and a mentor for inner city kids, but he accidentally gets forced to work out his differences with Harry, who at this point hates his guts. This fic is pretty serious, tackling themes of mental health, suicide, and police brutality. Every OC in this story is completely lovable and I cried my eyes out many times. When people ask me for a fic reccomendation this is the one I give people. Dare I say that this is my all-time favorite fic.

Warm Bodies by Betty_Hazel

Work in Progress, 37 Chapters as of 6/12/2020, 108k Words, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: D/s Dynamics, Graphic Porn, Dubious Relationship with Food

Draco Malfoy has spent his whole life wanting to go down on his knees for other men, and that's by far the least of the depraved things he fantasises about. He's wanted it all for so long that he's stopped believing that there might be someone out there who might be able to give it all to him; it comes as something of a surprise to find that maybe Harry Potter can, and that maybe Harry's looking for something too.

ALRIGHT MY PORN LOVERS THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! Don’t lie I know you’re horny. Somehow this fic is so fucking gorgeous and sweet yet so sinfully hot. It’s literally two boys who have never felt like their emotional needs have been satisfied learning to help and love each other like how much more wholesome does it get. I mean it’s all fine and wholesome until you get to the kinky sex which is WONDERFULLY WRITTEN MIGHT I ADD! I always say that if porn can make you feel something other than just horny, you’ve found a winner, and this story does just that.

Definitely check all the tags and I mean all the tags before you read this, but this is definitely one of my favorite porn with plot stories.

Running On Air by eleventy7

17 Chapters, 75k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, T Rating

TW: No Archive Warnings

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects. 

Might I just say that classics are considered classics for a reason. This is one of those stories that has the vibe of high school summer after senior year where all you do is try to escape reality and figure out your place in the world. While the plot is wonderful and the characters are great, I think what shines the brightest from this story is the writing style. It’s so enchanting and poetic with the best one-liners that make your heart hurt. On my AO3 bookmark i captioned it, “This just ripped my soul in half and restitched it together again,” and I still stand by that.

Lokison (Series) and How To Train Your Godling (Series) by sifsshadowheart

Main Story (Lokison): 33 Chapters, 244k Words, Completed, Harry/Various Characters, E Rating

14 Spinoffs/ Sequel Stories, Completed, Harry/Various, Various Ratings

Norse Mythology, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Various Fandoms Crossover

TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence, Underage Sex, Spiralling Mental Health

James and Lily Potter had a secret, one which led to Thanatos saving young Harry from a dreary life with the Dursleys and changed the face of the Second British Wizarding War before it ever began.

This story feels much more like a 12 season television show than a two hour movie if you know what I mean. The plot is pretty slow going but the character development and interation makes it worth it. The story blends the lore and events of the HP and PJO to make a completely new story without making it feel like a goddamn recap. The reader follows Harry from when he’s young all the way into adulthood and it’s a fun time to watch him grow as a character and bond with his parental figures. Also some of the spinoffs are really wild and I never would have thought of the pairings but they just work somehow?? My personal favorite spinoff is the Pirates of Caribbean/Calypso and Leo arc like HELLO?! hot pirates. The total word count of the two series is 465k so beware it takes a hot second to chug through this one.

This Worship of an Extinct Fire by Lomonaaeren

Oneshot, 30k Words, Draco/Harry, M Rating

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Deppression

Unspeakable Draco Malfoy has planned for nearly six months how to take down Thomas Linwood, a man who has discovered the secret of converting wizard bodies to pure magic. He was prepared for anything--except the discovery of the missing Harry Potter in Linwood's compound.

This one, I don’t know how it’s not considered a classic. I’ve seen it floating around on drarry tumblr and wow is it good. I especially like the detailed magic system and mechanics that Draco is investigating. How the author managed to have so much detailed and gracefully planned out backstory in 30k words is beyond me. Also gentle Dracoo Malfoy is my favorite Draco Malfoy :) absolute angel mode.

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by LLAP15 and Writcraft

Oneshot, 66k Words, Draco/Harry, Past Sirius/James, E Rating

TW: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light D/s Dynamics, References to Cancer, References to HIV/AIDS

Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.

This fic is, in every sense, a masterpiece. Especially for pride month, the story surrounding LGBTQIA+ activism, the AIDS Epidemic of the 80s, and the gentrification of historically queer communities is one that should be read by everyone. Every single place, OC, and historic event has real world ties and is historically accurate, making this fic even more enchanting. Everything about this fic is graceful and slow burning I can’t help but fall in love with it. I’ve only seen this fic once on HP tumblr, but I feel like it should be considered a classic as it is truly a moving piece. This fic is one of the biggest reasons why I became so enthralled with LGBT history and am writing a fic that takes place in a wizarding version of the AIDS epidemic.

Sensitive Touch by Raserwolf

45 Chapters, 194k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: Racism and Racial Slurs, Homophobic Slurs, Ablism and Ablist Slurs, Rape and Sexual Assault, Sensory Overloads and Mental Breakdowns, Extreme Bullying and Hate Crime, Past Abuse, Anxiety Disorders, PTSD wow this is a long list

When Draco Malfoy encounters a struggling and frustrated Harry desperately trying to tie his shoes after a meltdown in the Great Hall, his curiosity regarding the incident leads him to seek the help of the two people closest to Harry: Ron and Hermione.

After even they are shocked to hear the extent of Harry's issues, though Hermione had her suspicions, he discovers more about the man than he ever thought he knew before.

As a Neurotypical, I found this fic to be absolutely wonderful. I don’t know much about the typical traits of those who are one the autism spectrum and how they affect their everyday lives, but from what I was reading in the comments from those who are on the spectrum or who have family who are, this fic was pretty accurate and realistic. Harry, who lives with aspergers, goes without a known diagnosis until 8th year and it’s just heightened by his PTSD and anxiety and ugh I just want to hug the boy. The story follows Harry and Draco and the rest of the 8th year gang through the year and has multiple arcs in which the wizarding world are just dumbass bitches who can’t fucking seem to accept people for who they are. Not only is Harry on the spectrum but he’s also Desi with a purpose and not just mentioned and forgotten which is wonderful. The boys go through a lot of trauma in the story but there’s also a lot of teeth-rotting fluff that I live for. This is one of the fics that I have read and reread because I love it so much.

This definitely is not my full list I have a ton more stories in my bookmarks if you are curious. I’ll probably post a part two to this just cause I have so much and read so often. These, however, are definitely the biggest highlights.

[jawnkeets]

How are you so clever??? I’m new to your blog and I’ve been looking at your posts (not in a stalkery way but because they’re so cool) and you seem super intelligent! Like you always reference things I’ve never heard of and use fancy words and it’s just really awesome. How did you get so clever? Do you read a lot or are you just naturally clever? If it’s from reading then what books would you recommend to someone who’s interested in literature and also broadening their general knowledge? Thanks

awwww. well thanks for the lovely ask!! this is way too much detail bc i’m procrastinating work but

i read a ton as a kid, mostly horror books - i was obsessed with the supernatural, and especially vampires, and the idea of things changing into other things (in a magical way, but also stories where characters develop and end up very different, tales of betrayal etc). my favourite series when i was little was the spiderwick chronicles, followed a little later by the saga of darren shan. i didn’t read any classic literature at all though, as i’d decided i hated it for some reason. as a kid i always prided myself on my creativity/ imagination rather than my intelligence (it’s a distinction i’d always drawn and still do after a fashion), but i was and have always been obsessive, and also used to sit and play memory games for hours, too; i remember one where i’d have a list of cards and i’d put one down, say what it was, turn it over, add another one, say what the previous one and this one was, turn them over, and continue until i couldn’t remember every single card in order, and then i’d start again. i wrote a lot, especially poetry, and used a thesaurus often because i loved words. i had a very very vivid imagination and refused to live in the real world until the age of about 11 or 12. then from 14 onwards i read almost nothing (apart from like idk two of the hunger games books) until i was 17, when i finally started reading classic literature, triggered by the great gatsby, which changed my attitude to learning completely. until then i’d despised secondary school partly because of the way learning was presented (i got good grades at gcse but went through the syllabus and exams mechanically with little genuine love) and partly for… other reasons, and had almost given up on taking academics seriously. but i got very lucky and had an incredible english teacher throughout sixth form, who encouraged me to take risks and break from methodical, formulaic writing. at the end of the first essay i had to do for him i still remember that he wrote ‘literature is for you. now and always. carry on.’ at the bottom, and that changed my life. he also introduced me to philip larkin and romantic poetry outside of class. after that, i was gripped by the desire to read and discover as much about the humanities as i could, make links between works, discover new ones, recover the feeling that i was possessed by after finishing gatsby. tumblr genuinely helped with art, literature quotes, and making it all seem accessible, e.g. seeing text posts making jokes about shakespeare, keats, etc helped to demystify a bit. yes, dark academia, i’m also looking at you for making learning seem exciting, but tentatively and with narrowed eyes. general knowledge-wise, it helped me to begin to break down the barriers between ‘subjects’ at school (even if you’ve left school, it’s pretty branded into our brains); they’re sometimes very fuzzy and even arbitrary, and to separate into strictly-defined categories like this is not the only way learning can or should happen.

a work that i thoroughly recommend to everyone who asks where to start is letters to a young poet by rainer maria rilke. he relates so perfectly this idea that the first step is to let yourself be filled with how amazing and vast the world is, and how much there is to read, listen to, and see. that’s not something you can learn from reading, and it’s not something you can be taught by anyone (unless being inspired by someone counts). it’s instrumentally important because it will drive you, but i also think it’s inseparable from understanding (and to me, it is understanding, just understanding without the right words yet). this is the highlight, and it was the mantra stuck up on my wall at 17 when i decided i wanted to learn, and learn seriously:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

i was relatively articulate before i started reading the classics/ reading widely, but not exceptionally articulate. here’s an example of two essay openings - one i wrote when i was 16, and one i wrote during my first term at university (2 years apart):

i’d say that since then my essays have probably improved by a similar proportion, as i’m as embarrassed to read the second as i was the first when i wrote the second, and the typos r annoying me (am too embarrassed to post recent writing :’( - doesn’t count if over a year and a half ago, hence posting the second :p). obviously, then, this isn’t natural intelligence (everyone has to get knowledge, big words, etc from somewhere, right?), this is natural receptivity and willingness to learn, which i genuinely believe anyone can gain at any point, coupled with A LOT of reading the opinions of others (i.e. literary criticism and theory), and reading literature from many different periods to discover how language is moulded by individual poets and by ‘eras’ more widely. but this is also synthesising everything i absorb into a personal vision (this is the hill i will die on soz i don’t think theory should be ‘objective’ like what does that even mean). you can and should put yourself into it!

in terms of what to read - if you like the rilke (really hope you do!!) then depending on what you like about it, you can search from there. try some of rilke’s poetry. or if you like that ineffable feeling it brings, try the romantics (keats’ ‘ode to a nightingale’ and blake’s songs of innocence and experience are good to start with!), or larkin’s ‘high windows’ and ‘the mower’. also try shakespeare’s hamlet, because that is INCREDIBLE (watching it is always easier, and the more shakespeare you watch/ read the easier it gets! andrew scott’s hamlet is the best imo). from there it’s a question of asking what you liked about what you just read (time period/ vibe/ themes/ subject/ style of writing) and finding things similar - often google works and i made use of it a lot to start with, tumblr too, otherwise ask people who you know (on the internet/ teachers/ friends etc). this is a personal journey, especially to begin with, i think (you have to jump in somewhere), and there’s no one who can give you a list of books to read in the order best for you, because - annoyingly, i know - that’s something it’s best if each individual works out through trial and error, and part of the fun in truth. there are western canon lists out there, e.g., which contain some fabulous works, but have very obvious problems. 

a really really rough chronological development of english lit: beowulf, any of the canterbury tales, hamlet, paradise lost, pope’s satire, romantic poetry, victorian novels (e.g. david copperfield, jane eyre), the waste land, waiting for godot (it would also help to read the iliad, the aeneid, and metamorphoses too, and as much of the bible as you can, especially genesis, exodus, isaiah, job, and the gospels, but genesis and the gospels first if ur stuck/ overwhelmed). this is the lightest of pencil sketches, but if they’re works that go some way towards defining each ‘era’ or ‘period’, then it becomes a little easier to search for works branching off from these that are influenced by or chafe against them. you can always come back to me if you’re struggling with what to look for next :+) also, i have a list of my poetry favs, if you want to check that out (it includes the stuff mentioned in the previous paragraph, as well as others).

hope this helps (?!) ❤️

[ripley95]

Echoes of Old Embers

Chapter 4

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Rating: T

Chapter length: 4.6K

Story Tags: friends to lovers, mini slow burn, angst

Story Synopsis:

After surviving the war, one of Shepard’s biggest regrets was rejecting Kaidan at Apollo’s. Fate has a way of bringing Jane and Kaidan back into each other’s lives. A misunderstanding with his family makes Kaidan and Shepard relive old history and question where they stand.

Link to Chapter 1 on AO3

Chapter Synopsis:

Kaidan and Shepard make their way to his family home on the orchard. Shepard finally meets Kaidan’s family.

Link to Chapter 4 on AO3

Tumblr Links:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

Read the chapter here below the cut:

Shepard was looking out the window, admiring the view from Kaidan’s rental skycar. They were well on their way to the orchard. The sky was relatively empty heading towards the Okanagan, not much traffic getting in the way of the scenery. They passed beautiful mountainscapes still covered in snow. The whole journey into the interior was more scenic than she was expecting. BC offered a lot of Earth’s beauty, and she figured she’d try to enjoy what she could from this trip. ‘Try’ was the operative word there, still thinking this plan was a mistake. She bounced her uninjured leg nervously, contemplating how difficult this week was about to be. Something Kaidan seemed to be picking up on the closer they got to the orchard.

“You alright there, Shepard? You look like you’re getting a little restless.”

“You could say that,” she said, looking over at him with a smirk. “If you’ll recall, you forced me to drink two whole bottles of water before we left, not to mention my coffee. I think I’m ready for a pit stop.” It was the truth, but she’d be lying if that was the whole reason behind her lively leg. She was getting more and more nervous, the closer they got to their destination.

Kaidan smirked at her. “Sorry about that. Maybe I should have let you pace the water a bit, but I still think you’ll end up thanking me for it later. Think you can hold it, though? The orchard’s only a couple minutes away.”

“Already?”

“Yup. Just over that hill up there,” he said, pointing ahead of them.

“Well, in that case, I’m pretty sure I can hold it.” Her leg continued to bounce impatiently, despite what she said.

They rode in silence the rest of the way. It really wasn’t far off at this point, and the thought of it only put her more on edge. Any minute now, she’d be meeting Kaidan’s family. Yet another thing that reeked of intimacy. This was something that people who were romantically involved did, and yet again, she felt as though she was stealing someone else’s place that should have been here instead of her. Kaidan wasn’t fazed at all as she glanced back towards him. He was just steering the car with a wistful smile.

No matter how he might have felt about their relationship, he was still here for a celebration and to get to be here for his sister on her special day. He would be welcoming someone new into his family. It at least made her happy that he was getting the chance to experience this. She knew this was going to be a stressful week for herself, but seeing the look on his face made her feel better about it.

Just like that, they were already making their descent. Kaidan was right, the ride was short. They made a soft landing on a patch of grass in front of the house. She practically bounced out of the car with her nervous energy. Kaidan went to the trunk to grab the bags. As Shepard reached for hers, he quickly intercepted it, and she looked at him questioningly.

“You know I can carry my own bag, right? I’m not that debilitated.”

“Maybe not, but after what I saw this morning, I don’t want you to be adding any unnecessary weight on that leg,” he said, taking the bag and putting the strap over his shoulder.

Shepard chuckled at that. Always the caretaker. She just wasn’t used to relying on anyone else to make things easier for her. “I guess I can’t argue with that. After you,” she finally agreed as she directed her hand towards the house, still fidgeting a bit thanks to her need to go to the bathroom.

He made his way up the steps and waited for Shepard to follow after him. “Well, I hope you’re ready to meet my family. I’m warning you now, they can be a bit much,” he said with a laugh, his hand hovering over the doorbell.

“I’m sure they’re fine. Even if I wasn’t ready, though, I’m about to pee my pants if this waits any longer.”

“Right,” he said with a smirk as he rang the bell.

As they waited, Shepard examined their surroundings. This was where Kaidan was raised. His childhood home. She never had anything like that, always changing ships, or being dropped off at boarding school while her mother was on active duty. She could see the appeal of having a place to always call home, not to mention being raised close to nature. It must have been nice, not that she begrudged her own upbringing by any means. It was just different. The house was very classic looking, made out of real wood, layered in soft hues of paint with a large porch on the front of the house that they were currently standing on. The property was stunning and bigger than she expected. Well kept, too, barely any signs of the war leftover. She didn’t really know what to expect when she agreed to come out here, but she was pleasantly surprised that they already managed to have it looking so good after the end of the war.

One of the windows must have been open, because they heard some shuffling from inside, followed by someone yelling.

“Kaidan’s here!!” they heard before there was a large commotion of thumping.

That made Shepard look at Kaidan, surprised. She wasn’t expecting such a reaction from an Alenko. She had envisioned them to be reserved and quiet. Then again, her only example to go off of was him, so that wasn’t necessarily a fair assessment.

“That was Maisie. She can be… enthusiastic. Acts like a teenager, even though she’s well into her twenties already. Like I said, they can be a bit much.”

“Ah,” Shepard said with a nod, still a little surprised from the complete contrast to Kaidan.

“I’ve already got it, Maisie. Calm down,” they heard someone shout back before the door opened.

Shepard got the briefest glimpse of the woman opening the door, before a blur of colour shot right past her. Said blur of colour jumped onto Kaidan, hugging him with what looked like the force of a death-grip. Kaidan promptly dropped the bags in his hands as he staggered backwards, nearly falling down the steps.

The woman that opened the door walked outside onto the porch, looking like she was trying to greet her brother as well. She had strikingly similar features to Kaidan, the same dark hair and eyes. There wasn’t any denying that they were related, likely Raiya, the oldest, if Shepard had to guess. There was something about her serious disposition that screamed maturity. She made eye contact with Shepard, and she stopped dead in her tracks. There was an expression of shock at seeing who Kaidan brought with him as his plus one. Shepard waved awkwardly as Kaidan’s younger sister was still dramatically hugging her brother.

“Aaah, I missed you so much. You’re the only cool sibling, you know that?!”

“I’m standing right here, Maisie,” the older sister said, finally moving her attention away from Shepard.

“Oh yeah. Forget I said that,” Maisie said, finally lowering herself from the hug, not even noticing the awkward silence filling the air behind her.

“The only reason you say that is because I’m the one gone long enough for you to miss me, you know,” Kaidan said as he smiled at her. It was one of warmth that looked like he was happy to be home, seeing his family again. Shepard couldn’t help but notice how good it looked on him.

Suddenly, the sound of a dish dropping came from one of the rooms in the house, prompting everyone to turn towards the noise. Shepard had a perfect view, noticing two other women in what looked to be a dining room just past the main foyer. Both of them stood there, staring. That must have been Kaidan’s mother and Libby. All of the Alenkos shared similar features, no denying their relation. Libby was acting flustered for having just dropped the dish as she bent to pick it up. Luckily it didn’t actually break, and they were examining if anything could be salvaged. Shepard couldn’t help but think she seemed a little perturbed, too. That was terrific. She was already making a horrible first impression, causing people to drop dishes.

With the commotion drawing everyone’s attention, Maisie was the last one to finally see Shepard standing there. “Holy shit,” she muttered out. She also had that trademark Alenko black hair, but hers had streaks of bright blue and pink running through it. From what little Shepard knew of her, she could already tell it matched her colourful personality.

All eyes were on Jane now, as she stood there awkwardly, immediately prompting her to look towards Kaidan. “I guess you forgot to tell them I was coming?” she said with a nervous laugh. She was usually the picture of confidence, able to keep her cool, yet somehow having the attention of all of the Alenko women on her was enough to make her anxious.

“Uh,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I told everyone I was using my plus one last night.”

“Yeah, sure, but none of us believed you!” Maisie said, hitting Kaidan in the abdomen with the back of her hand playfully.

“You also left out who it was that you were bringing,” Raiya cut in, sounding much less enthused than her lively sister.

“I didn’t think I had to,” Kaidan said, sounding a bit confused about everyone’s reaction.

“You didn’t think we’d be interested in knowing you were dating Commander Shepard?!” Maisie cut in sharply.

That made both Kaidan and Shepard go wide-eyed at each other, their mouths agape.

“That’s not- I never-” Kaidan said, stumbling over his words.

He was interrupted by the sound of Libby sniffling, and Kaidan’s mother comforting her and bringing her back into the kitchen.

Shepard stared at Kaidan in a way that was begging for help. Somehow, everything that could have gone wrong was going wrong and then some. She had no idea what to do in this situation, and she still had to go to the bathroom.

“Uh, right, Shepard has to use the bathroom,” he said, picking up their bags, and guiding her through the doorway and down the hall, his hand resting on her lower back.

“Aww, how cute! He calls her Shepard,” Maisie squeaked from behind them.

Kaidan dropped the bags by the bathroom door and gently grasped her shoulder to get her attention.

“I am so sorry, Shepard. I have no idea what that was or how they came to that conclusion. All I said is that I was using my plus one, I swear. I’ll go clear this up.”

“It’s okay,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to reassure Kaidan or herself at that point. It was a simple misunderstanding, but it wouldn’t help her own situation and how she was already feeling about Kaidan.

Kaidan gave her a quick nod before trying to go and smooth things over with his family.

She closed the door behind her. It was made out of thin plywood. The kind that was hollow in the middle, so as she closed it, she could still hear everything that was going on.

“Commander Shepard?! Kaidan, are you kidding me?” It was said with a scolding anger that Shepard wasn’t expecting.

“Libby,” he said, already sounding exasperated. “I told you I was bringing someone.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t say it was Commander Shepard! The whole point of a wedding is to celebrate the people getting married. No one’s going to care about Derek and me with her here!”

Well, that explained the anger then. This was an issue that she hadn’t even considered. When she joined the Alliance, gaining celebrity status wasn’t exactly on the agenda, but she had gained it all the same. It was even one of the reasons she had opted to come with Kaidan instead of staying in one of the refugee camps. Libby’s concerns were warranted, considering how much of a problem her fame had become even before the end of the war. She couldn’t land on the Citadel without being stopped by a reporter or people wanting to talk to her. It was even a bit of a problem at the hospital where she was staying in London, but they at least had security. How could she have not thought of this complication when agreeing to go to a wedding of all things? The last thing she wanted to do was steal Libby’s thunder during her own wedding. This sure had turned into a colossal mess much faster than she expected. That didn’t change the fact that she was already here, though, stuck in this situation for better or worse.

Shepard heard more muffled conversation through the door, so she put her ear flush up against it to hear better.

“Libby, you are so missing the point. When has Kaidan ever brought anyone home? That means they’re serious. How could you not have told me?” 

That was definitely Maisie.

“Guys, I think everyone’s gotten the wrong ide-” Kaidan tried to cut in.

“Yeah, the Savior of the Galaxy, Kaidan? I don’t think any of us were expecting that.” It was Raiya this time.

“Hey, would you be quiet, please? She doesn’t like being called that. I didn’t bring her here to be paraded around. She’s still a real person underneath all of that, you know. It would be nice if you could all treat her like one.”

“Oooh, look at that, already coming to her defense. Kaidan’s got it bad. So just how serious are you two? Is there going to be another Alenko wedding in our future?”

“Guys, you’re all reading way too m-” He said, getting cut off yet again. He certainly came from a family of strong women, all fighting to be heard.

“All right! That’s enough. I swear, the moment all of you get into the same room together, it’s like you all revert back into being a bunch of wild children again,” Kaidan’s mother cut in. “Where have your manners gone? You’re almost all in your thirties for goodness sake. Whether you like it or not, Commander Shepard is a guest in our house, and we will treat her as such,” she scolded. It sounded like it did the trick if the following silence meant anything. “Kaidan, she seems lovely. I look forward to getting to know her better, but now, will everyone help me set the table. Please.” Shepard heard her huff out in exasperation.

That lecture wasn’t effective enough to completely stop the snarky behaviour, but everyone was speaking more quietly. It was harder to hear them through the door now. Shepard took that as reason enough to stop eavesdropping and finally went to relieve herself.

As soon as she was done and washed her hands, she exited the bathroom. She was almost startled by Kaidan pacing right in front of the door.

“Shepard, I think we have a problem.”

“So I heard,” she said, not being able to contain a smile. As much as this had become a stressful situation, the sheer absurdity of it was enough to make her want to laugh.

“Well, I’m glad you find it funny,” he said, her own smile bringing one out in him. “I’m really sorry. I can’t get a word in edgewise. I tried to tell them that we’re not - you know.”

“I heard. I know,” she assured him. She wanted him to know she didn’t harbour any ill will towards him over the confusion. “It was a simple misunderstanding. I’m sure we can smooth things over when they calm down.”

“If they ever calm down,” Kaidan huffed out seriously, as his gaze drifted off in frustration. “I haven’t seen them so determined to believe something before in my life.”

That didn’t bode well.

“I guess the most we can do is just keep emphasising that we’re not actually together,” he said. The words stung more than she expected. “Hopefully, they’ll get the picture eventually.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Shepard said, not sounding very enthusiastic about it, but it was all they had.

“I’m really sorry about the confusion. I really didn’t even think to mention it was you I was bringing. I guess to them, you’re still larger than life. To me, you’re my friend, which is who I said I was bringing. They somehow made up their own narrative about it. I didn’t think it needed to be explained more at the time. In hindsight, I can definitely see where I went wrong,” he said, sounding genuinely apologetic.

“It’s okay, Kaidan. I know you wouldn’t have done something like this on purpose. Don’t worry about it. We stick to the truth enough, I’m sure they’ll follow suit eventually.”

Kaidan nodded, still upset for having caused such a misunderstanding. “Okay,” he said, not sounding entirely convinced with the idea. “I guess we should get back to them. The table’s set, and they’re waiting for us.”

Shepard nodded in agreement, so Kaidan turned to lead them towards the dining room.

When they finally got there, Libby was still scathing. Definitely off on the wrong foot with her, it would seem. Shepard figured she’d have to try extra hard to get on her good side now, already tarnishing something that was supposed to be a special time for her. Kaidan’s mother and Maisie at least greeted her with a friendly smile that helped her feel welcome. Raiya was harder to grasp, not giving up any outward judgments through appearance alone. This was going to be one hell of a week. The silence was so awkward, Shepard just offered a smile to everyone for a moment, before glancing back to Kaidan for help.

“Uh, right. Well, is everyone ready to eat, then?” he asked, looking around the room. “Mom and Libby have been working on a big meal all morning.”

“Oh,” Shepard said, finally looking at the table setting. There was a big roast prepared and plenty of fresh vegetables and potatoes. It looked like quite the feast. “Everything looks amazing. I haven’t had a good, fresh meal in a long time.”

“Oh, well, in that case, let’s dig in, shall we?” Kaidan’s mother said with a big smile, proud of her accomplishments, and happy to see that her hard work would be appreciated by someone. She was the first to sit, taking the head of the table. “No need for manners now, just grab whatever you want,” she said, pointing to the chairs to prompt everyone to follow suit.

Jane looked at Kaidan to follow his direction. She wanted to make sure she wasn’t stealing anyone’s spot or stepping on even more toes. He quickly took notice that she was waiting for his lead, and went to pull out a chair for her.

“Oooh, look at that, Kaidan’s being such a gentleman,” Maisie said as she sat at the foot of the table.

“Yeah, about that,” Kaidan spoke up. “Shepard and I are not together,” he finally managed to get out without being interrupted. It was a relief to both of them.

“Oh come on,” Maisie said with a laugh as she started dishing some food onto her plate. “With the way you’ve been acting? There’s no way that’s true. If you’re just trying to downplay whatever’s going on between the two of you to avoid breaking the regs or something, you should know that your secret’s safe with us.”

Kaidan let out a sigh, and rubbed his forehead, hardly able to believe that this was happening.

“All right. That’s enough, Maisie. Leave them alone.”

Maisie finally listened to that well enough, but something about the whole situation didn’t seem very finalized.

Kaidan quickly acted as though everything was normal and plated some pot roast before passing it on to Shepard, which is when he broke into the conversation again. “We didn’t get to do any actual introductions, so--”

“Wait, no. I think I have a pretty good idea of who everyone must be,” Shepard said as she took a piece of the pot roast before passing the plate. She figured maybe showing a genuine interest in them might put her back on their good side.

“You have to be Maisie. Awesome hair, by the way,” she said with a genuine smile.

“Thank you,” Maisie said with a smile, glancing over to her sisters with an impressed look on her face.

Continuing around the table, “You must be Libby, and uh, I just wanted to say congratulations. This must be such an exciting time for you,” she said, trying to be extra nice.

Libby said a quiet ‘thanks’ as reciprocation, clearly not happy still, but at least trying to maintain pleasantries. Shepard just nodded at that, knowing that things weren’t going to be smoothed over for her unless she was assured that her wedding day could go off smoothly. That was an issue for another time, though.

“Raiya,” she said with a smile. Raiya just nodded, smiling back. Shepard still wasn’t exactly sure how to read her yet, but she supposed it was better than Libby. Shepard glanced at Kaidan for confirmation after that. The look he gave her was even more surprised than when he learned that she remembered all of their names. It was almost as though he hadn’t expected her to pay attention all those times he discussed his family with her. Especially not to have enough detail to have determined who everyone was on her own. She gave him a warm smile as she tried to move on to the last woman in the room.

“Not together, my ass,” Maisie mumbled under her breath in a way that was still audible to everyone else in the room, and Kaidan rolled his eyes.

Shepard wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so after a bit of an awkward pause, she continued. “And that leaves you, Mrs. Alenko. I’m sorry, but I never actually got your first name.”

“That was impressive. We’re a big group to have gotten everyone right. You can call me Ada.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet all of you,” Shepard said.

Maisie just stared at Shepard blankly before looking around the table. “Oh, come on! Seriously? They’re clearly together.”

Shepard and Kaidan shared a bit of a concerned look between the two of them. Apparently, her plan to get on everyone’s good side was just making this other issue of theirs worse, and now she regretted it.

“Just ignore her,” Ada interrupted. “What about you, though. Surely the great Commander Shepard must have a first name. It’s surprisingly well hidden from the public. I can’t say that I’ve ever heard it.”

Shepard had to laugh at that. It was somehow surprisingly well-hidden. Not only from the public, but even from people she was close to in her real life. Everyone had always called her Shepard ever since she was young. Likely a side effect of growing up in the military. Come to think of it, the only people that ever really called her Jane was her own mother, and Kaidan. Kaidan had only ever used that name briefly when they were together, though, and quickly reverted back to Shepard ever since.

“I do have one. Shocking, I know. It’s Jane.”

Ada gave her a genuine smile at that. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Jane.”

Shepard smiled back at the sincerity of it. She figured it must be strange to meet ‘Commander Shepard’ given her service record and media coverage. Maybe ‘Jane’ would be a little easier to see the person underneath all of that. This was supposed to be shore leave after all—a personal trip with a friend on top of that. If ever there was a time to put her rank aside and be Jane, it was now.

“The feeling is mutual. Kaidan’s told me so much about all of you. It’s nice to finally put faces to the names,” Shepard said.

Ada smiled at that, and everyone took a moment to eat. It took Maisie a second longer than everyone else to start eating as she sat there looking like she was about to burst. She clearly wanted to say more but didn’t want to be yelled at by her mother.

“Well, I hope you’re okay with waiting a bit before you can settle in. Kaidan only told us last night that he’d be bringing someone.”

“Sorry about that,” Shepard cut in. “You can blame that one on me. I was actually only just released from the hospital, so it was on short notice for everyone.”

“Oh no, I didn’t realise you were still recovering. Your injuries must have been quite serious.”

“You could say that,” Shepard said, warily, not really wanting to relive the worst of it right now. “I guess the important part is that I’m doing much better now,” she said, as she glanced over to Kaidan momentarily. She was almost surprised to see a look of genuine gratitude at the statement before she looked back to Ada. “I still need to be doing the exercises they’ve been teaching me in physical therapy, but I’ve been feeling much more like myself over the last month.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better,” she said with a warm smile. “Anyway, I hope you don’t mind sharing a room. With all of the kids back at the house again, we’re at capacity.”

Being a soldier, sleeping in close quarters with someone was hardly an issue. Her only problem with it was remembering what it felt like to wake up in the same room as him earlier that day back in Vancouver. It did nothing but make her feel worse about her current situation and constantly being reminded of her feelings for him. Then again, it was better than being temporarily homeless.

“No, that’s fine. Don’t even worry about it. I’m just thankful for the hospitality.”

Maisie flung her arms out in frustration, before crossing them indignantly, clearly wanting to say something again. Shepard mentally chastised herself for continuously shoving her foot deeper in her mouth.

“If I have anything to say about it, you’re always welcome here, Jane,” Ada said with a cheerful smile, completely ignoring her youngest child. “I’ll have your room ready in a few hours after I get a chance to wash the sheets and everything.”

“Oh, mom, that’s okay. You don’t have to go out of your way or anything. We can set up the room,” Kaidan cut in.

“No, no, don’t be silly. Your time here is so limited, and Jane’s a guest. You should take her around the property after lunch. There’s a lot to see. The apples aren’t quite ready to bloom yet, but the leaves have all come back and are such nice shades of green. The orchard looks so pretty. You should go enjoy yourselves.”

“Are you sure?” Kaidan asked. It almost looked like it pained him to think that he had inconvenienced his mom. Shepard wouldn’t put it past him. The man never liked to feel like he was a burden.

“Of course I’m sure, now quit asking.”

Kaidan nodded at that reluctantly, accepting that his mother wasn’t going to budge on the issue. 

Everyone continued with their lunch, having a passing conversation. Ada’s warm disposition was already making her feel incredibly welcome, so she figured that was at least one good thing out of this whole situation. As for everyone else, it seemed like she’d be keeping herself plenty busy trying to smooth things over.

[obeymematches]

(Part 1) I only use Tumblr to lurk and I've never done an ask before, so I hope this comes through ok! You're an angel (devil?) for doing matchups, so I thought I'd humbly request one! I'm Nikki, and I'm an old lady by fandom standards. I grew up in the deep South US (NC and New Orleans), and lived in Italy for a while. I wanted to be a linguist when I was younger, and I still love learning foreign languages. I have a degree in French (cont in pt 2)

(part 2) and I'm now a lawyer, because academics don't pay the bills. I work with child abuse victims, which is rewarding. I love to travel, but I can't much because a) I got court to go to and b) I also love animals, and it's hard to find someone who will take care of dogs, guinea pigs, and reptiles all at once. I'm sarcastic, kind of flippant as a defense mechanism. I'm usually the funny friend, but I get sassy when I'm on the whiskey (cont in pt 3) (part 3!) I'm a big fan of nonfiction books, especially about science and history, and historical dramas on Netflix. I love Netflix and chill with my partner, but I am pretty independent, so I like spending time alone traveling, taking care of critters, or working out. My love language is acts of service, so I show I care by cleaning the house or running errands for my man/lady. (last part incoming!) (last part!) My partner needs to be independent, with a dark sense of humor, who doesn't mind me venting about the grisly and/or weird stuff I see at work. I do like a responsible guy, 'cause I don't wanna be your mama and your gf at the same time. He should also be accepting of weird backwoods southern-isms, like buying taxidermy, saying "bless your heart", and listening to Dolly Parton and Rebirth Brass Band. Thanks! I love your blog!

Hello love!

Thank you for sending in a request! awwwww i’m glad to be your first! 

I hope you like the result! 

Okay so lets’ see... I’m kind of torn between Lucifer and Barbatos. 

I decided to match you with Lucifer! 

So i’m going to keep it real with you, I think your southern upbringing would add to this relationship a lot. First I thought it’s super risky to do this but let’s go anyway. I mean I don’t really want to bring religion into this, but we all know their background in the game. 

Lucifer would be very wary with anyone coming from a highly religious area, but sooner or later he would learn about your own perspectives. (since you play the game I assumed you’re not the stereotype being an English major taught me)

It would take him quite some time to share his views with you in depth, honestly you have a better chance at getting anyone else to open up about their past than him. But I think once you get someone else to do it and now you already know briefly whats up, he would just tell you himself. After all he takes buliding a relationship seriously once he is truly interested in someone.

I think your academic career and the fact that you are a lawyer would impress him and after he learns this about you, his respect for you will grow. Which is very important when it comes to Lucifer.

Lucifer had quite a lot of centuries to pick up languages. Although he isn’t speaking them all either (i mean he is a demon how many languages would he really need), he sees the value of being a multilingual human. Just to test you, he would sometimes switch between them.

It is canon that he is supposed to be outgoing as well, were it not for his very limited amount of free time. So he definitely understands your struggles to get away, as he is the most responsible demon in the household. Once in a blue moon he would probably get to have a couple of days off with you though. I’m sure he knows people who’d take care of your animals for a few days. (probably not one of his brothers though.) 

He appreciates a sarcastic s/o as he can be a bit sarcastic as well. Your flippant nature will only turn him on, especially since you are also responsible so flippant attitudes coming from you hit differently. 

Drinking with him is something you probably wouldn’t be able to avoid. I’m sure he would enjoy your sassy nature, he is one of the best at handling that so don’t worry about conflicts.

 I’m sure he would be able to talk in detail about historical events as he was there when it was all written. So this would be a common topic of conversation! in a healthy relationship good conversations are a must, so you two got that down as well. None of you is bored! Also I don’t really see him reading fiction tbh, so you are on the same page. 

Netflix and chill is up on his priority list as well, so again no trouble on either side.  

Lucifer in canon can fall in love with whoever it happens with, but an independent partner makes his life easier. By this I mean that he is usually busy so his partner would be very disappointed if they expected him to entertain them for many hours a day. Sure, he does make time for you so you don’t feel neglected as he wants to be a good partner. At the end of the day he is in love. 

He would definitely appreciate your love language! He always needs a helping hand, although he is usually too full of pride to actually ask for help with big things. So basically you’d probably get to do the easy stuff. 

His love language is affection so hopefully you are prepared for lots of private times! 

Also love language is just something you have to talk about with him, I think for his beloved he is willing to do things he normally wouldn’t. like you need a new dress?? want to hold hands in public?? want some reassurement?? gotcha (ok with some of these he might struggle but he tries so we gotta give him that)

I think he fits into everything you described your wish for a partner. he is mature and respnsible, and don’t worry he has heard and seen some stuff your stories would be hard to compare. 

so he has his own sense of decoration and if you look into his room, some taxidermy is just fine... 👀

hmmm idk about “bless” in his case because of reasons mentioned above but thats a conversation he will have with you

 He is also very keen on music, so thats also a topic to discuss. he is probably more into classicals, but he just wants to learn more about his partner to be able to fully love and understand them. so if it means listening to Dolly Parton, then so be it. 

[meta-squash]

Your ADHD procrastination post has really stroke a nerve with me. I've had the same issue for years, but thought it's normal for everyone. Since about a year or so, I've been wondering if I may have an undiagnosed ADHD along diagnosed conditions. If it's not too personal, how else ADHD manifests in you? I hope it's okay to ask. I love hearing women's stories about ADHD because they are much different than the stereotypical image of it...

It’s not too personal! (FYI I go by they/them pronouns, but I am afab; it’s all good though!) Also, this got VERY long, I’m sorry! I’m verbose and have a lot to say, apparently.

So I personally have a weird relationship with ADHD. I was diagnosed with it (or some sort of attention deficit thing) when I was in like 3rd or 4th grade. I was briefly medicated but I think I was on Ritalin (I forget) and my child body couldn’t handle it; I was a zombie during the day and then when it wore off at night I was Evil and freaked out and wanted to fight everything. So I went off it pretty quick and didn’t get medicated after, presumably because my parents thought my ADHD wasn’t bad enough.

The reason they probably thought that is because my brother has Really Bad ADHD. Like, all the classic stereotypical symptoms and characteristics to the extreme: never shuts the fuck up, really damn loud all the time, extremely high energy, can learn pretty much anything in about 5 seconds but can’t actually hang on to an interest really (now that he’s an adult he can, but not as a kid), can’t sit still or pay attention in class, doesn’t finish homework, etc etc. I was able to mask mine and function enough to get through school just riding pretty much on my humanities grades alone. It sucked a lot but I somehow did it. I had an IEP (Individual Education Plan, which is a US school thing for kids with learning disabilities and such that allows for accommodations and assistance in school) but it didn’t do much except I think give me extra time on math tests because of my dyscalculia (I was in Special Ed Math my whole grade school career). My mother is an OT but I also think that (as you said) ADHD in afab people often manifests differently than in amab people, so I guess my parents just didn’t know what to look for and that’s why I never really got the same help as my brother.

I like to jokingly categorize ADHD into two distinct but overlapping types: Fast ADHD and Mush Brain ADHD. Fast ADHD (in my opinion; this may vary from person to person) is the classic stereotype symptoms. Fast ADHD’s focus problem is too much happening all at once. Lots of thoughts and ideas flying by and you get distracted mid-thought with another thought, or your train of thought gets really crazy but is super fast so your reply to someone’s comment might not make much sense to anyone else because they weren’t privy to your brain’s journey, or you go down a focus worm-hole and sit and do One Thing all day and forget to surface for things like food/water/bathroom. Fast ADHD has more energy (though when paired with depression that usually manifests as restlessness or anxiety) and is quicker to pick up new things. Mush Brain ADHD is kind of the opposite. Thoughts take longer, or you think of something and then it almost immediately disappears (for example, scrolling a website, seeing something that you want to google, you scroll for like 5 more seconds and think “wait, I completely forget what I was going to look up”). With Mush Brain ADHD it’s harder to have conversations because thought-to-mouth time is slower, rather than (with Fast Brain) lots of stuff is going on up there. Mush Brain often feels like, well, mush and like you can’t really form thoughts very well if you want to do stuff. It’s like you’re trying to focus on thinking a thought but it just slides away. Another way I’d describe it is having thoughts but it’s like they’re on a blackboard and they’re being erased as you think them, so they end up mostly smears. Obviously, this is just based on my own experiences as a Mush Brain ADHD person while my brother has Fast Brain ADHD, so this might be different for other people.

Both have lots of overlaps: executive dysfunction (that’s the big one), insomnia, auditory processing problems, hyperfixation (which is not a bad thing! I love my hyperfixations! They’re fun!), absolutely crap organizational skills, constantly losing things, really bad perception of time, detachment from the world (like you drift off into your own daydream, or things feel distant, but not quite the same as depersonalization/dissociating),  difficulty making choices, sensory processing disorder, crap abilities with money, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and often comorbid mental illnesses like depression, OCD, anxiety, dyscalculia/dyslexia, etc.

 Oh, and a lot of ADHD characteristics also overlap with depression characteristics (and a lot of people with ADHD have comorbid depression, so it really doesn’t help).

But I can tell you about my own experiences with some of these.

The Big One which is basically what that schrodingers motivation post is about, is executive dysfunction. People also call it procrastination (it only kind of is) or inertia. Basically, executive dysfunction is where the difficulty lies in starting the task. You want to do something, but you just can’t get going to do it. You get sort of paralyzed. It even happens with things you like. For example, when I made that post, there was a short (just over 100 pgs) book I wanted to read before the end of the day. It’s a good book! It’s on my reading list! I want to read it! But I just sat on my computer and watched dumb youtube videos because that’s what I was already doing and executive dysfunction makes starting tasks really hard. This happens to me a lot. It can happen with reading a book, or getting up to go to the store and buy groceries, or making a meal, or watching a movie. The movie-watching one happens to me a lot. Basically it’s the brain struggling to switch tasks; you’re scrolling tumblr, and that’s what your brain is focused on, and it doesn’t know how to switch from doing that to doing your bio homework or folding the laundry or whatever the task may be. This happens with “bigger” or more complex tasks too, like starting an art project or starting a new book, because your brain has to figure out all the components of that task (I need these items for my project and this amount of time and I need to use them in this order) which is overwhelming, or it needs to comprehend how “big” the task is (how much time/concentration should I try and commit to in order to read this book) which is sometimes hard to gauge. Oh, also this can happen if you’re interrupted in the middle of a task, whether it’s to do another thing or just to answer a question or something; it’s hard to get back to it because it’s another kind of switching tasks. Aside from the blackboard-being-wiped-thoughts, this is my biggest ADHD problem. I can go more into how I dealt with executive dysfunction in college and now if you want!

Auditory processing issues is another thing that I deal with, although to a lesser extent than some people. It just means it’s harder for your brain to process sounds/talking. Part of this, for me, is because if someone is talking to me but there’s other noises (music, other conversations, general loudish ambiance) going on around us, my brain treats them all as equally important and I can’t focus in on the person talking. Another part for me is in my experience I seem to process conversation different from explanation. If I’m talking back and forth with someone about something and it’s not terribly important, I’m fine. If they’re trying to explain something to me, give me instructions, or read a passage of text to me, it just does not stick in my brain. If I’m helping my best friend with her grad school applications, I have to read the sentence she’s asking me check, I can’t have her read it to me. If she does read it to me, I’ve realized that I try to imagine the words as text in my head so I comprehend it better (it doesn’t always work). Auditory processing issues means that a lot of my conversations in public with people who are not my close friends (and therefore easier to pick out from the noise because familiar and/or easier to predict because familiar) are filled with a lot of me going “what?” Retail conversations with customers are slightly easier because there’s at least a mild “script” that they’ll stick to, usually.

Another one I experience is organizational problems. This one was bad enough that I actually went to a tutor-like thing to help me with it for most of grade school. Basically, I had no ability to organize tasks like doing homework or other activities, so things would get forgotten/lost/never even written in the calendar/etc. I couldn’t do projects because I couldn’t (and still kinda can’t) organize far enough into the future. I didn’t know how to break the project down across multiple days or weeks and make it manageable without totally forgetting pieces of it. I’d forget to write down homework when the teacher wrote it on the board, or I’d write it down but forget to do it. Or I’d do it but misplace it or leave it at home. My perception of time was also really crap; I couldn’t read an analogue clock until I was in maybe 6th grade? Even now I sometimes have trouble. It was hard to know how much time I had to allot to certain projects because I didn’t really have good perception of how hours fit in the day and how much time until homework is due and stuff. (Which meant lots of finishing things in class minutes before I had to turn it in and stuff. Once in uni I completely forgot to do an Entire Essay; luckily it wasn’t a class I needed to graduate.)

Along with this is losing EVERYTHING. I misplace things CONSTANTLY. I’ll put something that’s in my hand down to get a cup of tea or something, or even just to like, move a blanket, and I’ll forget where I put it. I’ve solved this problem with Important Things (wallet, phone, and keys always go next to my bed, for example, and rarely move from there if they’re not in my pocket. All important papers go in my Important Papers Folder as soon as soon as possible) but I lose regular stuff all the time. I’ll be working on an art project, I’ll put my glue stick down to reach for a piece of paper, and lose the glue stick in the time it takes to pull the paper towards me. The other day I was brushing my teeth and I put the toothbrush cover down to say hello to the cat and forgot where I had put it down once I had followed her to the next room. When things have a Place it’s easier, but I’ve learned to live with going “Where the FUCK did I put this thing? I had it a second ago!” at least once a day.

The “Mush” in “Mush Brain” is another big one for me. I don’t know if this has, like, a name? Or anything? It’s just what I call it. The best description for it would either be that blackboard description from above, or like you’re struggling to get to a thought through a lot of mud. Oftentimes I’ll have a sort of concept of a thought but not something full, and I know it’s there, but I can’t get to it. This is really apparent when I’m trying to remember a synonym for something, or trying to elaborate on certain concepts or pull ideas from texts. It doesn’t happen all the time. I was an English lit major in uni, so this affected me a lot back then. It’s sort of a similar feeling to reading the same sentence over and over and not registering the words, except it’s in your own brain instead. This kind of goes away for me when I’m writing/typing. Writing this out is easy (minus me forgetting the word executive dysfunction for like 5 minutes) but if you were asking me to explain this aloud I would struggle, probably. This is probably because I can stare at what I’ve written to see what’s missing or edit my thoughts, which I can’t do while I’m speaking, and also can’t do to other people’s interactions with me.

Just a general inability to focus is also one I struggle with. It goes with the “mush brain” to an extent but I think it’s different. It’s more like my brain doesn’t want to, well, focus on anything. If I’m just messing around on my laptop, that means I end up clicking back and forth between tabs endlessly because nothing is holding my interest. If I’m trying to read or do anything “intellectual” or “academic” it means I just can’t get myself to read or I can’t keep my thoughts on what I’m trying to write no matter how hard I try. Nothing holds my interest for long enough, it’s like brain restlessness. I try and concentrate on doing something, watching something, reading something, and my brain just slides away from it.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is something I experience on a more minor level. It’s something that also overlaps with anxiety and depression. Basically, it’s a really intense emotional reaction to (perceived) rejection. For example, if my best friend says something to me with a certain tone or gets mad at me for doing something minor, my brain just goes “She hates you! She doesn’t want to be friends with you! You should isolate in your room and never speak to anyone again because you’re so annoying and terrible!” I know that’s mostly incorrect (although I also know I’m quite annoying and that’s another ADHD characteristic; knowing you’re annoying someone in some way and having no idea how to stop) so I can fight it but sometimes I do end up holing up in my room for a little bit. Things like criticism (whether towards you or towards, like, an essay or something) can also trigger this reaction. So can things like having an expectation that you’ll be good at something, and then failing at it or just not being as good as you’d hoped. (I developed a sort of defense mechanism for this one of never expecting to be good at things and never expect higher than a C in a class.) It also can come with a sense of feeling inferior around people doing similar things. It happens to me a lot here on tumblr, actually, because I’ll write a meta about something, and then read someone else’s good meta on the same thing, and feel like I’m an idiot and they’re really smart and nothing that I wrote was insightful or good. It happened to me in uni a lot too. It also happens to me kind of...secondhand, now. What I mean is, my best friend/roommate is extremely smart. Like genuinely one of the smartest people I know and an incredible thinker, straight A’s at uni in a degree she created, etc. She still gets imposter syndrome herself and feels like she’s not smart, and when she says she’s not smart, I feel bad for her but I also feel really terrible about myself, because if she thinks she’s stupid, then what am I? But again, it’s an overreaction to perceived rejection. It still sucks though.

There’s some evidence that ADHD comes with a whacked out sleep schedule. And not just insomnia (although that too, I know this because it’s 7am and I haven’t slept yet lol), but also Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. Which basically means that most people’s circadian rhythms start slowing down so they’ll go to sleep around like 11pm-1am-ish, give or take. ADHD circadian rhythms are shifted so often we start getting tired around 3am or even 4 or 5am. (This is different from insomnia, btw, with DSPD you can fall asleep fairly easily, you just get tired later in the night; with insomnia it’s an inability to or difficulty in falling asleep quickly.) I always thought I’d just gotten my dad’s night owl genes, but it’s more likely that it’s the ADHD. I also have at least mild insomnia and it takes me a million years to fall asleep a lot of the time.

Hyperfixations are the Fun part of having ADHD (in my opinion). They can get in the way sometimes but they’re also really comforting and nice. Hyperfixations happen when you find an interest and it’s basically all you want to think or talk about, and you relate to the world through it, and you want to learn everything about it. It’s also a characteristic of autism. I’m not autistic, so I don’t know if there are major differences between ADHD hyperfixation experiences and autism ones. Anyway, often hyperfixations stick with you for a good amount of time, depending on the strength, and then you might find something else to focus on. Some of my hyperfixations have lasted a few months, some up to 4 years. A lot of ADHD people rotate through the same or similar ones. For example, a hyperfixation I had back in 2011-2014/15ish was Les Miserables. I then found a different thing to hyperfixate on. This past year I have returned to Les Mis. Hyperfixations are usually pretty cool, because it’s usually something you really like and enjoy learning about or doing and it’s kind of like the thing your brain would rather be doing/focusing on.

Personally, I’ve lived so long without ADHD medication that I’m fairly functional without it just due to coming up with personal adaptations and stuff. The thing that I have the hardest time with/that upsets me the most is the Mush Brain part, which also gets worse when my depression gets worse. I really would love to have clear, quick thoughts whenever I want. It’s frustrating to hold a conversation or try to write creatively and quickly when it takes forever for thoughts to fully crystallize in my brain and then come out my mouth or fingers. Right now I don’t have very good health insurance (all blame to covid layoffs) so I can’t really do the meds thing but I often wish I could. My ADHD is definitely not as intense or severe as some people’s. I have friends, and also my brother, who struggle a lot more than I do, and with different things

Holy hell this was so long. Feel free to message me if you have any questions! Or if you want me to elaborate on some of the things I do to deal with stuff.

[wiseabsol]

20 Mewtwo Fanfics Recs

Since I’ve been getting more Mewtwo asks recently, I thought I would make a post to promote some of the Mewtwo fics that have caught my eye over the years. Here is a round-up of the ones that were the most memorable and influential to me when I was growing up, as well as some that look promising for other fans to check out!

MEMORABLE FICS:

1. Damaged by Cheshire Kat24

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8906040/1/Damaged

Summary: Living life to its fullest is never easy. A lesson Mewtwo learns the hard way after sustaining an injury that even his abilities cannot heal without help. With his new friends, he embarks on a journey that will define not only his place in the world, but that of his entire species.

My thoughts: While I never managed to read the entire story, this is a classic and was probably the first long, multi-chapter story with Mewtwo as the lead.

2. Shadows Like You by cosmicmewtwo

Link: Not available, though you can hit her up on Tumblr for the file.

Summary: Driven by his hunger for power, Giovanni creates three new Mewtwos. The clones seem to be under control...but for how long? And how will Mewtwo himself be affected?

My thoughts: This was incredibly influential to my writing, being a huge part of the inspiration behind “TPRS.” The Mewthrees introduced here were great and I checked every day for updates until this fic was complete. As a humorous aside, when I was a wee lass with barely any fic to my name, I sent cosmicmewtwo a message asking if I could use Mewthree characters in my own story, without realizing that cosmicmewtwo didn’t own that concept. She, bless her heart, confusedly told me to go ahead with my story and supported some of my earliest fics.

3. Anomaly by Dark Magician Girl Aeris

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3173119/1/Anomaly

Summary: When Mewtwo erased his memory from the minds of Team Rocket, he overlooked the computers they used in studying him. Now a second member of the race has been created by even more unorthodox means than the first. And boy, is she mad!

My thoughts: Aeris is excellent at writing Mewtwo, to the point where this is probably the most canon-compliant depiction of him that I’ve come across. This adventure story is also well-written and has a lot of feel-good moments. I wish that she’d managed to finish it, but what she has, along with the connected one-shots, is worth digging into.

4. The Sword and Shield Series by Kayasuri-n

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3535877/1/Sword-and-Shield

Summary: Detective Brenda Johnson was looking for something suspicious when she entered the lab, not a connection between Team Rocket and gym leader Giovanni Rocketto. She certainly wasn’t expecting Mewtwo. Rated M for Murder and other subjects.

My thoughts: So if you’re looking for a super fun murder mystery ride, this one is for you! I still desperately want to see what the remake would look like. That said, there are several entries in the old series, all of which are great.

5. More Than Just Shadow by Kirlien

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3602934/1/More-Than-Just-Shadow

Summary: Amy was sitting quietly on the doublebed, watching over the wounded Pokémon. “Mewtwo…What are you?…Who are you?” she whispered faintly, her fingers brushing against his cheek slightly in a soothing motion.

My thoughts: I remember this fic for how it captured the golden feeling of innocence in the Pokemon franchise. While dark things were happening in this story, there was a sense of warmth and compassion that I’ve always admired. This is another one that I wish had been finished, but what is here is worth digging into.

6. Between Two Worlds by Leonardo Mystic

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/505048/1/Between-Two-Worlds

Summary: Ki is a teenage girl with special powers. Who one day accidentally discovers the Team Rocket project of Mewtwo. 

My thoughts: This was one of the first Mewtwo fics I ever read and was the most memorable in the romance category. I’d call it one of the classics and an interesting rewrite of the original movie. 

7. Forgotten by Melora Maxwell

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/926885/1/Forgotten

Summary: The humans have a most strange saying. Curiosity killed the cat. I suppose in my case, it would be curiosity killed the clone. For it is what I am.

My thoughts: This one was responsible for the genesis of “Angelic Shadows.” It’s angsty and, despite being lean in the way of descriptions, it has a strong emotional impact. It’s a shame that it never got an ending, because it seems like it was within a few chapters of being complete. Even so, if you like gritty, this is a good one to look into.  

8. Eclipsed by Meriah

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4468231/1/Eclipsed

Summary: A young woman named Sutichay carries Arei, a miraculous child, whose birth will bring about a religious conflict. Later in the chaos, Arei is made the priestess of Mewtwo, and her growing attraction to him stirs the anger of Sabrina, his wife.

My thoughts: While this fic only has a few chapters, the premise is imagination, the writing is lovely, and it deserved more attention than it received. This was also the inspiration for my story “Hollow.” When Meriah discarded the original prologue for “Eclipsed,” she allowed me to use it—and the character Arei—as a jumping off point for my own story. The result was two very different tales with similar thematic cores.

9. The Incomplete Soul Saga by Miyuutsuu

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/888889/Miyuutsuu

Summary: What is my true purpose in life?

My thoughts: If you’re looking for more grit, we have this odd series by Miyuutsuu, who wrote his stories with the Rule of Cool. Want Mewtwo to have a sword? An angsty romance with a gym leader? Possibly some loss of limbs? Then here you go! It’s a dark action/adventure story with a different flavor than anything else on this list.

10. Of Moonlight Shadows and Echoes Past by ZeoViolet

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/620186/1/Of-Moonlight-Shadows-and-Echoes-Past

Summary: A Psychic teenager named Sharie, daughter of one of Mewtwo’s creators, finds a baby Mewtwo Giovanni forgot about…and eventually, runs into Mewtwo himself.

My thoughts: This was my favorite Mewtwo fic and one that I still think of fondly. The writing is lush, the premise is solid, and I definitely wanted to see where it would have gone. It’s another classic of the fandom.  

11. If You Let Me by Byoshi

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4129309/1/If-You-Let-Me

Summary: Every Pokemon Smasher must have a master, and the rule is no different for Mewtwo. A tug-of-war begins between Peach and Ganondorf, conflicted but united in their attempt to use Mewtwo to overthrow Master Hand.

My thoughts: I don’t have much to say about this one, other than I really enjoyed it, found the premise intriguing, and wished I could have seen more of the central relationship in it. Sadly, like many of these entries, it was discontinued.

PROMISING FICS:

These are fics that I haven’t actually read, but appear to have pull in the fandom and have definitely had a lot of hard work put into them.

12. Mute, Too by FalconPain

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3931388/1/Mute-Too

Summary: After losing a battle to the dark Pokémon Darkrai, Mewtwo awakens to find that he no longer has his psychic abilities. No longer able to float, read minds, or even talk to humans or Pokémon, he must rebuild his life. But how much of this can he take?

13. Forsaken by lilpurplebird

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5842142/1/Forsaken

Summary: Being a Legendary isn’t always a good thing—they realized that too late when the world came to an end. Mercifully, they were given another chance, but at a cost: They had agreed in a previous life to become mortal should they have failed to uphold their duties. Unbeknownst to them, however, there is a dark power lying in wait, targeting Mew and Mewtwo to do its dirty work…

14. Crossing of the Paths by MMMAJ Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1252581/1/Crossing-of-the-Paths

Summary: Mewtwo can no longer stand living with humans, so he creates a dimensional portal and randomly wanders the web of infinite universes. This is the tale of the places he sees and the people he meets. 

15. Lines in the Sand by Shinymonkey8

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6847646/1/Lines-in-the-Sand

Summary: After finally escaping from Giovanni, Mewtwo has a chance to live his life free, and sadly alone… But when fate leads him to something he would have never expected, a female of his own species, his life is turned upside-down…. 

16. Human, Monster, Hybrid Series by TheFrogFromHell

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3082844/1/Human

Summary: When Mewtwo lured six trainers into his trap on New Island, he’d planned to begin his reign of terror on the human world. He hadn’t planned on being nearly destroyed by the battle that ensued, or on being nursed back to health by a human—a member of the species he’d despised enough to want to eradicate from the earth. Now, Mewtwo is torn between his hatred for his creators, and the new, mysterious emotions he feels for Misty, the human that saved his life. One again, his true purpose is in question: will he still choose to destroy the world, or will these unfamiliar insights change the way Mewtwo views humans, pokémon, and even himself. 

17. From Dark To Light by Whozawhatcha

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7659746/1/From-Dark-To-Light

Summary: Mewtwo falls for a Gardevoir, but hesitates to reveal any of his past to her, considering the circumstances. However, his past and Team Rocket do catch up to him, and how will they manage? And with strife with this Gardevoir’s mother, how will they continue to be together? What are her true motives for keeping her daughter from this mysterious pokemon?

18. The Mewblade Series by Vaporeon Lugia Krabby

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2967855/1/Her-Beginning

Summary: Welcome to the real complexity of the Pokemon World. Here we experience the full extent of this world alongside Mewblade, a Mewthree. This prologue introduces Mewblade, following the beginnings of Mewtwo. This opens a larger plot, full of depth and death.

Note: While this isn’t a Mewtwo-centric fic, it has been a prominent work in the fandom for ages.

SOME CAUTIOUS SMUT RECS:

So looking up Mewtwo smut can be dicey, since many of the writers of said smut tend to prefer dub-con or non-con scenes, with Mewtwo being a dominant alpha male/sexually-aggressive character. This can be triggering for some readers. The following two stories are not exactly exceptions to that pattern (well, “The Mewtwo File” is, but I have different qualms about it), but the romance in them helps to mellow them out.

19. The Mewtwo File by Alisonven

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4200365/1/The-Mewtwo-File

Summary: This is the story of the young clone Mewtwo and Aiko, his only human friend, the daughter of his creator.

My thoughts: This is a well-written story and has some good Mewtwo/Ai content in it, albeit features an AU version of them. That said, I have qualms about the sex in here, thanks to the difference between Mewtwo’s and Aiko’s psychological maturities. Aiko is clearly an adult, while Mewtwo reads more like a teenager. Some readers were fine with that; I felt squicked. There is also a casual use of sexual assault in a later chapter, so be aware of that going into this.

20. Primial Instinct by Sonic Sunshine

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3486169/1/Primial-Instinct

Summary: Mewtwo tells us the story of how he found and nearly lost love through his eyes. His journey of discovery is one filled with dilemmas, and even the most powerful Pokemon is helpless to stop it. Mewtwo x Lucario.

My thoughts: There are also casual uses of sexual assault in this, including from Mewtwo, which I wasn’t keen on. That being said, this is well-written and the central relationship is interesting, so who knows, it might scratch the yaoi itch for those of you who love the genre.