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nutty1005 · 8 months

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3 Xiao Zhan.

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/7YZimnoaGOkx-vTeiPyckg Original Author: 智族GQ Translator’s note: The article will be published in the February 2024 Issue of GQ

Xiao Zhan: Clear goals, accepting results

01 Relaxation

The studio was by the Huangpu River in Shanghai, Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, he had took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on the corner of the sofa, looking very relaxed. The filming came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working continuously for more than 7 hours, there was no trace of fatigue on his face.

This is a face that attracts attention all the time. A few months ago, the studio released a Xiao Zhan’s birthday photoshoot, and keen-eyed netizens immediately noticed that his face had “became rounder”. In order to play the character of Guo Jing in the movie “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero”, which was directed by Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan gained weight before joining the group, his cheeks were no longer so thin and his figure was obviously more buff. In the photographs, he had a stubble and the vicissitudes of life were slightly visible on him.

Strictly speaking, “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero” was Xiao Zhan’s second movie. There were many previous classic versions of Guo Jing’s character, and the pressure on him was obviously visible.

On the day of the cover shoot for “GQ”, Xiao Zhan got up very early to go for a run. He could not help but think, my God, I am going to lose muscle mass again after sweating so much. He debated whether to continue, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time came, he remembered that body fat would start burning after 30 minutes, so he ran for an additional 10 minutes.

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All of these is for work. “Actually, I don’t want to run. Running will lose muscles mass, but I have to run to reduce swelling.” After the filming, he planned to do weights training no matter how late it was. An actor’s self-discipline is to be always ready to shape his image for the character, but he must also strictly control his diet and manage his body shape. Xiao Zhan regards both as professional standards and expects himself to do so

Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and was even humorous. When mentioning that actors should observe characters in life, he commented on the sitting postures of several people present; when asked what things he did not expect after joining the industry, his answer was that he could not eat whatever he wanted like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted for almost two hours, I became curious about what kind of experience it had been for Xiao Zhan, who had been under immense attention in the past few years. Xiao Zhan said instead that he had forgotten this matter frequently and it did not cause him a lot of trouble in life, the most “cruel” thing might have been “being unable eat as much as you want”.

“I will still sneak out to ride my bike, take a walk, and do a City Walk. There was only one time when I was recognized after walking in a alley for 5 minutes. I also mingled into the cinema and watched a movie. No one will care about you, really. After leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes it seems like what is before our eyes is the world, this is a misunderstanding, but yet we cannot avoid this misunderstanding, so there is no way around it.”

There were so many things he especially wanted to do, such as taking the subway and going shopping. “I will really squeeze onto the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day.” For Xiao Zhan, this was the life he really wanted. The voices of social media no longer bothered him, “After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine.”

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his living situation. “I have a job, a life of my own, and an audience that likes me. I have nothing to be dissatisfied with.”

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02 Becoming an Actor

To a certain extent, Xiao Zhan’s sense of relaxation stems from his increasingly clear goals. The voices from the external world no longer bothered him, he is clear about what he wants and what he do not want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he had rarely appeared in variety shows, taking the career of actor as his most important goal at this moment.

In 2023, 3 television dramas starring Xiao Zhan broadcasted, and each character was a challenge for Xiao Zhan. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said many times that he was “under a lot of pressure”, and he said this almost every time when reviewing every stage. But his tone was light, without the heaviness of complaints, more like a post analysis and summary, the reasons were often specific and objective: the first time he came into contact with performing without props, the first time he took on the leading role alone, the first time he acted in an modern drama…

“Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” was a script that Xiao Zhan particularly liked. He liked stories about that generation very much, as a child he watched some television dramas such as “Once Upon a Time in Beijing” and “Happiness as Flowers”. When he mentioned the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that it was sunny and bright, it was colorful. Many people said that Xiao Chunsheng was a perfect character, but to Xiao Zhan that happened to be his greatest flaw, he thought this character was very interesting and wanted to give it a try. Xiao Chunsheng was a young man from Beijing, hence how to express the character’s imposing manner and speak authentic Beijing dialect was a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who had lived in Chongqing since childhood.

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The Shi Ying character in “The Longest Promise” was aloof, because he did not want to let down everyone’s expectations for his ancient costume appearance, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight before joining the group. “‘The Longest Promise’ was a script I got in 2020. It had the most complete character and most delicate emotions from the scripts I could choose from, it was also very logical and self-consistent, it was my best choice.”

“Sunshine By My Side” was a script that Xiao Zhan has been exposed to for the longest time, starting from the end of 2019. Although Sheng Yang in “Sunshine By My Side” closely overlapped with Xiao Zhan’s pre-debut career, but for him to move his life as a designer to the screen and act in a natural and convincing manner, he did not have confidence. “Modern dramas and life dramas are really unfamiliar fields.” Initially, he was too eager to finish his lines and memorized them completely, but when he said them, it made people think that no one in real life would speak like this, later on he discovered where to break the lines and which words to emphasize in modern dramas, and the logic was actually very strong.

In the past few years, he had acted as a soldier, a doctor, a designer, and a Beijing youth. There were no special considerations, and they all happened naturally. He rarely acted in recurring roles. But when choosing a script, Xiao Zhan would not deliberately avoid themes that he had acted in before, instead he will just put himself in the audience’s perspective to feel whether he could be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the theater play “A Dream Like a Dream”, playing the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to theater appeared on Weibo hot searches, becoming a phenomenon-level event in the theater circle.

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On acting in “A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time. There are many reasons for his hesitation: he was from Chongqing, he was not from a professional background, there is no NG in theater plays, it would last for 8 hours, “Dream Like a Dream” was also very famous, and there had been many classic versions of Patient No. 5 prior. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must perform in it.

Theater play is a very pure thing. Dozens or even hundreds of people gather in a space to tell a story, this is an experience that film and television cannot bring, hence Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to maniacally memorize his lines, and enclosed himself in Tangshan to rehearse intensively with the entire group for more than a month, grinding out one scene after another.

“I was very nervous for the first performance. I am still nervous now when I think about it. When Gu Xianglan rang the bell, I shuddered.” The instant the light hit him, Xiao Zhan felt that everything had stopped, he could not see the expressions of the audience under the stage and there was only white left in front of him.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breathing and began to speak his lines. The director said that the actors in the opening scene controlled the rhythm of the entire story, so every time he said that line, Xiao Zhan was most nervous. As he spoke, he would gradually forget about his nervousness, and after he was done speaking, he would let out a long sigh of relief, and think, ah, it has finally ended.

Once, towards the end of the first half of the performance, Patient No. 5 went on stage to find Gu Xianglan with a painting and an address, and had a long monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan’s mind suddenly stumbled. He could not remember the beginning of the next line. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip that word and continued. The audience should not be able to tell the difference, he thought. He could not remember that word even until the end of the performance.

“I couldn’t remember it even when I got to the lounge, so I flipped over the script to take a look, so it was this word.”

“Which word?”

“A very common word, for example, pure drinking water, I was thinking what kind of drinking water? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water? I just couldn’t remember it.” Xiao Zhan replied.

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Acting is a domain with very profound knowledge. Xiao Zhan said: “I have only scratched the surface so far.” When filming “Sunshine By My Side”, the co-actors were all experienced actors, and in terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan was still very immature, tended to be over forceful and left traces of performance marks. He told himself to “be less pretentious”, feel everything the other party throws at him with his heart, and respond honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that he had difficulty understanding many characters due to his limited life experience. He had discussed this issue with his seniors, “Everyone has two opinions. Some people will say that of course you have to go through it, without experience, you don’t have a image, how can you portray it? All that you act is fake. Also, there is a voice saying that everything can be resolved by technique.”

Xiao Zhan’s own answer is, “Act more and be exposed to all types of genres” and “cooperate with more good teams, actors and directors.”

“To be honest, what I can do now is to act what my thoughts can reach, it is really difficult for me to act something that I have no concept of at all. Maybe in the future, through a work or cooperation with more good directors and actors, my confusion can be solved. I look forward to this day coming soon.“

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03 Decluttering

Relaxation is a side of Xiao Zhan, he can balance some of the pressure, but there is a part of it that is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan does not sleep well. “It’s very difficult for me to fall asleep, and I sleep very lightly, there will be situations where I don’t feel rested after sleeping, which affects my state the next day.” This would happen especially when he just joined the drama group and would be in a state of high nervousness, he would often dream about filming on set, but the filming did not go well.

When he would go to different cities, Xiao Zhan would bring the same type of pillows and quilts. “I will bring anything that can help me sleep well.” He had also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, various products that could make him fall asleep when applied on his body, medicinal spray on the pillow that could make people fall asleep, melatonin and meditation music. In the end, he found that the best things that made him sleep well were sleep masks, earplugs, and not looking at his phone, “because I know that once I look at it, I won’t sleep, then I might as well get up.”

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book “Decluttering” at home. That was recommended to him by his ex-company boss when he was working as a designer. The concept of organizing life described in the book made Xiao Zhan start to rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

Xiao Zhan has a particularly obstinate side to his character, “If it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me.” For example, when he decided to be an actor, he did not want to do anything outside of being an actor, “You come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.”

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Xiao Zhan’s acting experience began with a story about “an older commoner chasing dreams in the entertainment industry”. He participated in the talent show at the age of 24, learned dance from scratch, debuted as a boy band, acted in online dramas, played supporting roles in theater movies, until 2019 when he became popular, Xiao Zhan also became a star that attracted attention.

When you decide to do something, you must try your best to do it well. This was what Xiao Zhan has been taught since childhood, when he was in junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. When he first started texting, he often used spaces to replace punctuation marks, his father then said to him sternly, “What about the punctuation marks? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?” From that time on, Xiao Zhan was very concerned about punctuation marks.

Xiao Zhan had been competitive since he was a child, and he was not willing to miss any opportunity when it came to things he could control. When he was taking the bus to school, he would worry about the person on the bus who was asleep and would missed the stop.

For things that he could not control, he would remind himself not to force them and learn to accept them. Until then, do what he could.

When asked which drama Xiao Zhan obtained with his own hard work, Xiao Zhan’s answer was surprising. He said: “Every one.” Before becoming famous, he auditioned for many dramas, and also experienced being replaced after entering the final round of auditions and even trialed the drama in costume. Now, of course, scripts would be handed over, but Xiao Zhan would always tell himself that people only had intentions and could hand them over to many people at the same time. If he found one he really liked, he would take the initiative to meet with the director to explain his understanding of the character.

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Xiao Zhan believes that it is important to have a correct attitude

Xiao Zhan’s growing up environment was no different from that of many born in the 1990s. Mother and father would go to work, grandmother would cook at home, and he would go to and from school every day. If he did not do well in the exam, he would be beaten. After dinner at 6:30 every night, the children would ask him downstairs to play hide-and-seek, wooden figurines, and throw sandbags, as he talked about these, he was very happy. These ordinary little things seemed so precious now. Xiao Zhan said that he was very grateful for the first 23 years of his life before his dream adventure in the entertainment industry. “I cherish it very much, I think it is good.”

He thought that if he had not entered the entertainment industry, he would have lived a life like his classmates and friends, accompanying clients for meals every day, going home and staying up late to catch up on designs.

“Being seen” is a happy thing. No matter how busy he was at work, Xiao Zhan never complained, “If you have a job, then work hard.” “While filming “The Oath of Love”, he was also recording the variety show “Our Song”. During the intervals while waiting for scenes, he would hum softly with his earphones on. The other actors would come over curiously, and Xiao Zhan would smiled sheepishly, explaining that he was practicing the song he was going to sing in the evening. “I don’t have time, I really don’t have time.” At that time, work occupied almost all of his life.

Xiao Zhan rarely takes the initiative to give himself a holiday. “It’s not realistic,” he said flatly. When he was most tired, he could fall asleep just sitting on the set.

This year, Xiao Zhan had a sense of urgency regarding “acting inexperience”, “compared with some seniors, they have already acted in many works in their thirties.” Xiao Zhan knows very clearly that his acting could not improve in leaps and bounds just from one drama, “this might be hard for it to happen to me.”

He once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or an actor that the audience would like after watching it. His answer was the latter, “everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.”

“Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.” Xiao Zhan said.

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Q&A About Acting

GQ: When did it become clear that you wanted to be an actor? Xiao Zhan: When the public started paying more and more attention to me, I wanted to say, why can’t I do it? I think I can. Sometimes I waver and feel it’s so difficult. Why can’t I do it? For example, when it comes to lines, why are they just not good? Why can’t I speak as well as the others? Is it because I’m from the South? I don’t think so. Then I think, so how can I speak well? I can do it, give it a try.

GQ: In your opinion, what are the professional standards for actors? Xiao Zhan: First of all, having excellent professional skills is an unavoidable topic. You can have a non-professional background, but you must have excellent professional skills. This is what I want to do and what I’m currently doing. I feel like I’m not enough, too far behind. After having excellent professional skills, attitude is very important and whether you love it or not is also very important. If you only view it as a job, you may not be able to go very far. But if you really love it, you will cry for it and laugh for it. This may be the motivation for you to persist. Also having a strong body (laughs), I used to not feel tired when I was in my twenties, but now I will feel very tired after staying up late. This is a terrible thing, it is important to have a strong body, this is your foundation.

GQ: When acting in which character or drama did you feel recognition for? Xiao Zhan: At the beginning, when I was working on “The Wolf”, I was under a lot of pressure, the acting teacher would give me a lot of advice and guidance, and I would constantly subvert my acting method every day, it was a period of confusion. After you got over it, you would find that you have grown, and when you started acting again later, you would gradually find a little bit of feeling, and then you would get over it step by step, this was a cumulative process. I feel that I have too little acting experience. Compared with some of the seniors, who have accumulated many works in their thirties, my current works are still too few and I have not accumulated enough.

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GQ: Do you feel worried? Xiao Zhan: Yes. Because I think (improving acting skills) is a cumulative process. You can’t take a big step with just one movie. This is hard for that to happen to me, so I have to keep filming, and to keep filming good dramas, don’t waste yourself

GQ: The 3 dramas broadcasted in 2023 stretched from ancient costume to era dramas and urban dramas, what were the considerations? Xiao Zhan: Actually, there were no considerations, it just happened naturally, there were no deliberate avoidance of themes I had acted in before, it’s just (selection) by reading the script. When the scripts were handed to me at that time, I felt attracted to a certain script at the moment, so I chose it, it just happened to be a theme that I had never acted in before.

GQ: Do you feel tired from acting in ancient costume dramas all the time? Xiao Zhan: There are many types of ancient costume dramas, don’t have to separate them into ancient costume dramas and modern dramas, it’s nothing more than sticking on a wig and changing clothes, actually the core is the same, but the outer shell is different.

GQ: Once the drama you filmed airs, will you follow it? Xiao Zhan: I won’t follow them, but I will watch them, I will choose the big scenes that I care about and watch them, counts as me looking for problems for myself.

GQ: Will you watch with the scrolling comments? Xiao Zhan: I used to do it really, and I felt very entertained, laughing and joking with everyone, but now I won’t do it.

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GQ: What kind of character do you want to play now? Xiao Zhan: If I could choose, the best would be the ones I haven’t tried before. I need freshness. If I ask you to do the same thing every day, you will be bored.

GQ: What kind of actor do you want to be? Xiao Zhan: I want to be an actor that the audience can like.

GQ: Have you not already done this to make people like you? Xiao Zhan: No, no, I think it’s far from enough. I once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or to be an actor that the audience likes just by looking at you. Currently I want to be an actor who makes the audience feel good. Everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.

GQ: Who are your favorite actors? Xiao Zhan: Many, for example Zhou Xun has always been my favorite actress. I recently watched her movie (“Across the Furious Sea”) and it was really great.

GQ: What are your career plans in 2024? Xiao Zhan: Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.

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Q&A About Life

GQ: Do voices on social media bother you? Xiao Zhan: It doesn’t bother me. After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine. It’s fine as long as I am clear about what I am doing. Every time you make a choice, you must clearly know what you are doing, what you have to give up, and what you have to do. So, it’s fine, maybe the team has more troubles.

GQ: Is your personal life unaffected? Xiao Zhan: Very normal! I can go out for a bike ride and a stroll. When you’re walking down the street, no one really cares about you. It’s really not what everyone imagines. Then I walked around freely.

GQ: Are those escape moments for you? Xiao Zhan: Moments of relaxation. Why do I need to escape? I am also in the third dimension, where should I escape to, this is my life, I am the same as everyone. There are many things I particularly want to do, such as squeezing onto the subway and shopping in shopping malls, which are very similar to when I was in school, and maybe I will do them in the future.

GQ: Do you miss the ordinary life very much? Xiao Zhan: It’s not that I miss it, it’s that I think I should do it, this is living. I will really take squeeze into the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day. To me, there’s nothing I can’t do, so what if you discover me? Say hello and leave. It’s just that I don’t want to cause confusion, trouble, or bad reactions to everyone.

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Q&A About Personality

GQ: You haven’t appeared on variety shows in recent years. Is this a conscious choice? Xiao Zhan: Because it’s not suitable, with my personality, being in a variety show is too tiring, I would want to take care of everyone’s feelings, which would make myself very tired. Since I know that it would be this result, then I might as well don’t do it.

GQ: What was your original intention in entering the entertainment industry? Xiao Zhan: I really broke in mysteriously with confusion. The talent shows I used to watch would interview the top contestants, how did you get to this point? The contestant would say that I accompanied my friend to participate in the selection, but my friend failed and I was selected. When I was a child, I thought these things were far away from me, but when it came to myself, it’s really like this, and I think it’s amazing. I entered the idol competition, then I got here and that’s it. Very amazing, life is very interesting.

GQ: What things have you not thought of before after joining the industry? Xiao Zhan: It is a very cruel thing to not be able to to eat freely. When I see my former high school classmates who already have children and have put on some weight, I will sigh, I also want to eat freely like this. Their living status makes me feel that if I had not chosen this path at that time, maybe we would all be the same, we have to socialize and stay up late to catch up on designs, you don’t know how tiring it is to do design, but life is like this and there is no other way.

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GQ: How has choosing this path changed you? Xiao Zhan: Maybe I lack a lot of life experiences, in this regard, my classmates and friends are far better than me. They have experienced real things. There are no cameras facing you, no lights, you are living your own real life.

GQ: Are you an emotionally stable person? Xiao Zhan: Comparatively, more, stable. But once it hits some points, I will become very unstable.

GQ: For example? Xiao Zhan: Just… some things that cannot be said, haha. Maybe when something incredulous happens, you will think, what are you doing, or, when something happens that normal people would not do, I will become very angry. Maybe it’s some privacy issue, if this point is breached, I will go “berserk”. Everyone has their own boundaries, and some people have no sense of proportion, I will just stay away from these kind of people. But when the boundaries are broken again and again and the bottom line is touched, I will get very angry.

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GQ: You once said that you have a particularly tenacious side to your personality. What do you mean specifically? Xiao Zhan: Principles, I am a very obstinate person, if it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me. For example, if I want to be an actor and I don’t want to do anything other than being an actor, if you come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.

GQ: Do you have a perfectionist side? Xiao Zhan: I just want to do it well, and do my best in the current moment. Maybe the result is not good, but what can I do, this is all I can do.

GQ: Can you accept failure? Xiao Zhan: I can accept. I might not have been able to accept it a few years ago, but 32-year-old Xiao Zhan has learned to accept this (laughs).

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#xiao zhan #xiaozhan #肖战 #sean xiao

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senanatheskenana · 2 years

Text

Genshin Street Racers AU

Contains the OG Genshin boys (No inazuma/ Sumeru but may do them later idk)

TW- some implications of sex but not actually smut. Illegal driving.

Please don’t break the law kids!

~~~~

Kaeya

Kaeya is infamous on the street racing scene. He's known for being unpredictable in the streets, so people often try to stay out of his way in case he drifts to close. He's agile and fearless, a combination that's both got him onto and out of a huge array of problems.

His car is his baby- an icy blue classic Mustang, modified by the best mechanic in Mondstadt. Thanks to Albedo the car easily does 170mph, 0 to sixty in 3 seconds flat. Kaeya never races a car with a roof up, because he say there's no point without the wind in his face, so each night when he finishes a race, his blue hair is always windswept in that alluring way it had been the night you first met..

That's what he told you the first time he met you, shades pushed up his nose, hair completely messed with. He asks you if you've ever seen a car like his and when you say no he asks if you wanna take a ride. And like that, you ditch your friends outside the bar and hop in the passenger seat.

What you didn't expect was to be going 130 miles an hour down the Galesong highway, 'highway to hell' playing loud enough for the whole city to hear. He laughs at you when you grip the door handle like you're gonna fall out the car when he weaves between average, law-abiding drivers.

And when you get back on the unmoving ground, you surprise yourself by telling him you'd d it again.

~~~~

Diluc

Diluc is not the sort of street racer people want to go against by choice. He's honourable, but he's completely brutal, with a car that breezes past 60 mph in less that 3 seconds.

He drives a Chevrolet Camaro, all black on the outside, with a sleek vermillion leather interior. It's honestly a car that completely suits him.

The windows are tinted black- privacy more for your sake than his. He's adamant that you never stay in the car for a race but, every once in a while, you'll end up in there, wrists pinned to the Italian leather of the back seats as he kisses down your neck, making every moment count before a race begins.

Diluc keeps one of your necklaces around the rear view mirror, his good luck charm dangling like a symbolic air freshener.

~~~~~

Venti

Venti started motorbike racing at the age of 15, stopping and then restarting in his mid 20s after overcoming his alcoholism he developed in his teen years.. He's known as one of the youngest racing legends in Mondstadt.

He rides his Yamaha r1 like it's sationary, sometimes ever being so confident as to take his helmet off just so he can wink at you. He's small but there's no rider more agile than Venti.

It took Venti a while to garner your affection- multiple races to impress you, even taking you out on his bike, going slower than he ever has before just to keep you safe.

There's been times where Venti's risks caught up to him. He's legendary but he sometimes forgets that it doesn't mean he's immortal. It's after the close calls that he makes it up to you, leaning you against his bike while he gets to his knees in front of you. It's in those moments that he apologises for the stupid things he does.

~~~~

Albedo

Albedo doesn't race but he knows a hell of a lot about racing. If anyone in Mondstadt needs a ride modified and chopped, he's their first pick. He's not cheap but that's the price of quality.

It's in his body shop that you meet him, face smeared in oil as he rolls out frum underneath a car. At first he's only interested in the car, before you roll the window down and stare at him. Oh he's down for it.

Albedo builds your car like it's his own, because he takes pride in seeing you win in a car he's chopped. Everyone knows it's a Kriedprinz car when it roars to life at the starting line and they shudder in awe.

Though he doesn't do it often, Albedo can drive- WELL. He hardly ever drives with both hands on the wheel because the other is planted on your thigh. If you weren't the owner of the car, you'd think he was the racer.

~~~~

Xiao

Xiao is always testing his limits. He's hardly ever off his bike- and make no mistake, it's fast. It's a Suzuki GSX-r1000, flat black with blue accents and an engine that roars. Easily it reaches 190 but he's always pushing it to the limit.

Xiao's identity was a relative mystery for a long time because he never took his helmet off, even after the races. In fact you were the first person to see his face.

You had been caught in a dark alley by a group of thugs but before they could do anything, Xiao's bike had sped right between you and them. He rips the helmet off and hands it to you before ordering you to get on. Of course you do, feeling your heart pound in your ears as your arms wrap around his black leather jacket.

His manager, Zhongli often remarks about how you make Xiao more distracted but he always denies this fact, knowing full well that his first thought after and during a race is coming back to you and taking you in the dead of night.

~~~~~

Tartaglia

What a show off Childe is. He'll take any risk as long as it has a pay off of some kind. The adrenaline he gets from maxing out the speed dial is something he craves all the time.

He's a rich bitch who races purely for fun and it irritates people to no end that he's casually a driving prodigy. He drives a Lamborghini Huracan, hardly ever going the speed limit on any road- after all, who would be willing to raise a complaint to the Fatui mafia about one of their Harbingers.

He hardly ever attends a race if you aren’t there to impress. You're the only thing there that interests him. We all know what's on his mind during the races. He's only ever thinking about getting you in the car so you can fool around.

He's had to evade police multiple times for indecent exposure because of his excitable and insatiable nature.

He'll try it on anywhere. Sometimes he's even on the phone with you during a race, telling you about what he plans to do to you. Cocky fucker.

~~~~

Zhongli

Zhongli's a now retired legend in the street racing community of Liyue, though he still drives from time to time, he really only manages his protégé, Xiao.

He's responsible but he does seemingly dangerous stunts because he's confident he can pull them off. In fact, he's one of the only guys that would be ok with you being in the car during a race.

Zhongli teaches you to drive his Nissan patiently, hands holding yours steady with you on his lap as he pushes the accelerator down and changes gear. Having you so close to him is undoubtedly making things happen but he hasn't shown any signs that he's lost composure.

It's when you meet his fellow street racer legends that things finally become clear as to exactly how renowned Zhongli- Morax was. They always called him his old stage name as a mark of respect. It's also in those moments that you're overcome with pride at seeing and being with such a master driver. And you make sure to call him by his rightful title once you get back in the car.

#Street racing #au #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact #Childe x reader #zhongli x reader #Xiao x reader #Diluc x reader #venti x reader #Kaeya x reader

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luimagines · 18 days

Note

Oh, this AU should definitely happen! I would like to theorize which types of bikes they would ride. Wild is already kind of a given with the master cycle zero being customized motocross. I feel like Time and Twi would be old school style cruisers, while Hyrule and Legend would be easy to handle and learn moped. Warriors would be a sport bike. Sky gives off touring bike. Wind and Four would probably be backpacks (another name for people who ride on the back). Just some thoughts I had.

I have to be honest, I know next to nothing about motorcycles and this will likely show when talking about this au.

But! I am willing to nominate Twilight to have the classical Harley Davidson.

Like this guy! Not this color though. (stole this photo from Harley Davidson UK)

Four would likely be too small- no. Idea.

He gets a motorbike that they sell to children. XD

My neighbors used to have one. So it's the perfect size for Four!

Wind is too young to even have his license so he's gotta hitch a ride with someone else, like you said.

But! I found this photo and I think that Time is total Retro.

I want Warrior to be on the back of that Scrambler. Sky can have a red Cruiser. I'm going off of pure vibes/aesthetics. I just think they look cool.

#pinky replies #biker! chain #linkeduniverse #linked universe

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stonemags · 2 years

Text

SUGAR BABY AU

Ch.3 Blind optimism

Characters in this series: Reader, Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Carol Danvers, Darcy Lewis, Maria Hill, Kate Bishop, Pepper Potts, Valkyrie, Shuri

Summary: The one where you’re forced to socialize, your favourite mug is held hostage, and you just can’t see eye to eye with Darcy.

Warnings: age gap relationships, sugar mommy/sugar baby relationships, swearing, aggression, cheating, all story is gonna be +18, you are responsible for your own ass.

Word count: 6174

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my beloved friend, legend, amazing hair cut girl, bike riding icon, and the best horse trainer in this world. You are the kill leader of my life, and I love you a lot. It's a little early, but happy incredible birthday!

Thanks to @charturnus for editing, helping to write and posting this fic.

Previous chapter

CHAPTER 3

“Can I help you?”

Soft and soothing, that's the way you would describe her voice if anyone would ask, but nobody did, so let's move on. You try to find anything to say that would take you out of this “deer caught in the headlights” moment, not daring to take more time to let the silence linger. You straighten out your posture trying to physically take up more space, trying to show any ounce of confidence in this really not confidence allowing, environment that your day created for you.

“Actually yes. Would you like to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? The one and only, who can save us from the pits of hell that humanity is running into with this whole LGBT propaganda, women trying to have rights, not being chained to the kitchen madness.” She looks confused which gives you the upper hand, at least that's what you think until she gives you this cocky but proud smile which catches you off guard, and now you are the confused one.

“You must be y/n. It's really nice to meet you. I’ve been looking forward to it.” She takes a step back to let you into your own apartment and sticks her hand out towards you to get an actual greeting. You go in and take off your shoes, only using your heel and toes for it. You don't put the bags down, and you don't engage in the physical contact that the redhead is waiting for. You look up at her, and you appreciate the much better lighting than the one in the café, because right now you can actually see the depth in the colour of her eyes. You’ve never seen eyes like that, and it's deeply interesting. As much as you want to go into this, inside of your head, on an intellectual journey about why people have different eye colours and if their lifestyle can change the outcome of that colour. But it’s not the space or time for that, so you force yourself back into the present, to the woman standing with her hand outstretched.

“Yeah it's me. And all day I was looking forward to getting a shower, so excuse me.” You don't even give her a chance to respond as you move swiftly around her and disappear deeper into the apartment, quickly walking into your room. You feel a little bit awkward and embarrassed, but your priority is your mental state right now, and you need to wash the day off of your body.

After putting everything in place and taking a shower which took you around 30 minutes, because you are not trying to get Darcy mad, she is terrifying when she is mad, you pull some outfit together and go to the living room where you hear everybody chatting. Classic loose mom jeans and a sentimental flannel fit you nicely, not showing too much of your skin, but still not making you a nun.

As you walk in, you throw a loud “hi guys,” in the direction of the sitting area, and go straight to the kitchen which is connected to the living room by the island. Maria immediately stands up to hug you, and she’s never too shy to show care through physical touch. It makes a lot of sense since it's her love language.

You hug her back with just as much force as she does, and as she is going back to where she was sitting, you take a non-alcoholic cold beer out of the fridge.

“We have wine if you are interested.” This voice is also new to you, but this one is a little bit deeper. It's flowing through the room and if you wouldn't have any control over yourself, like your flatmates, you would probably have goosebumps all over your body.

“She doesn't drink, this bitch is in the sober club.” Darcy answers for you, clearly a little bit pissed that you didn't say hi before the shower, but you hear the little hint of teasing in her voice.

“That's interesting. Why?” Another new voice makes you turn around and lean on the kitchen island. Just then, you take in the whole picture in front of you. The biggest couch is occupied by Carol and Darcy sitting between her legs. Carol's hand is intertwined with your friend's and as much as you will never admit it, the lovesick look on your friend's face is making you really happy and glad that she found someone like Carol. In the big chair on your right there is a new figure, a really elegant woman you have never met before, but in some way her face is familiar. Her strawberry blonde hair is put into a tight ponytail, and it makes her features look really sharp. Her business outfit brings out the seriousness in her, but a fancy, colourful drink with a big piece of grapefruit levels it out to a neutral position. She has a hard demeanour with a really warm, friendly smile. You are aware that on the left side of the room, on a smaller couch, sits Maria with the two women you recognize from the café. Without making direct eye contact with them, in the corner of your eye you can say that your flatmate is throwing herself at them, which they don't seem to mind. The woman that greeted you at the door is on her left with her hand in Maria's hair, the woman on her right is less shy, freely grabbing her exposed thigh. You are pretty sure that they both are looking straight at you, but you are putting your attention to answer the question. You hop smoothly onto the kitchen counter and lean back for the beer glass. Taking a long sip, you think of an answer while looking at the woman in the chair.

“What’s interesting is the fact that people always ask why I don’t drink. I mean, if I were to tell you that I don't eat carrots nobody would question it, but as soon as it's about the alcohol people ask why. Social constructs, I guess. But about why, I was diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of the year.” You casually explain.

“And you can’t drink while you take your medication?” The same deep voice turns your attention to the left. They seem to be really interested in what you're saying. Their focus on you is razor sharp.

“I can and I did. I mean, you probably shouldn’t and my psychiatrist doesn't recommend it, even if I didn't have any bad reactions to drinking. It was a good enough excuse for me to stop. I don't enjoy getting drunk either way, and since I'm always sober, I can at least be the DD.” She seems confused, but Carol makes sure to fill her in as soon as you are done talking.

“Designated driver. One person always agrees to not drink, so everybody can get home safely.” Redhead nods in acknowledgement, and Carol lets go of Darcy to allow her to stand up to refill their drinks.

“Did you bring the whisky?” It's Darcy's favourite kind and the only thing she orders while visiting you at work. You have to admit that it's a really nice 12-year-old blended, scotch whisky, and the only thing you miss since you stopped drinking. Without answering her, you jump off the counter and leave the living room to grab two bottles from your room. As you bring them back, she already prepared glasses for everybody to try. While she fills them up, she starts speaking.

“Y/n this is Pepper, Pepper Stark. She is the CEO of Stark tech company. She is also in the middle of writing an incredible book.” She introduces you as she hands the drink to the woman on the chair. Her name gives you an idea of why she seems familiar. Tony Stark teaches at your ex's university. You heard so much about him that you feel like you were attending his course yourself. Cold but creative, a leader but a dickhead, the list goes on and on. Adding up all you know from Shuri and other students, you can assume why she divorced this talented bastard. The news made it out to be a massive deal when she overtook his company. But Stark tech has never been better than under her leadership.

“Nice to meet you, y/n.”

“Likewise.” You nod at her from a distance. You have a lot of respect for powerful, successful women.

“This is Natasha and this is Wanda.” They don't bother standing up, so you don't move from your position waiting for Darcy to give you more information.

“They are the co-owners of a law company. Wanda is an amazing lawyer with a Smith Award and Natasha is a CFP designated financial adviser.” You nod at them, completely unamused.

“That's impressive.” It’s not. “ Nice to meet you both, I’m y/n.”

“I think we already know each other, sugar.” Natasha says, and you can't help but be curious about where she finds the audacity. Her eyes are fixated on you while her hand stays on Maria’s thigh, but travels a little bit higher. You can't help but watch and think to yourself…. What the fuck. This whole situation is rather weird, but your roommate definitely enjoys the attention. You on the other hand feel like they both are trying to dominate you, and you are about to put it to stop, but before you can say anything, Wanda is already speaking.

“We hope you enjoyed your cold brew. I bet it felt nice to not have to pay for your own coffee for once.” You don't even need a second to think. You grab your wallet from your back pocket, take out a 20 dollar bill and put it on the coffee table in front of Wanda, all without taking your eyes off of her.

''You can keep the change.” This definitely pulls a reaction out of your friends. They know how much you work and how much you are struggling with finances. Trying to earn money to publish your poetry and to stop worrying about staying afloat every single month. You return to your place next to the kitchen island, not paying attention to Wanda’s or Natasha’s reaction.

''y/n that’s not what she-'' Darcy starts speaking but is soon cut off by Wanda defending her motive.

''That's not what I meant, baby.” Honestly, what is it with strangers and pet names? They see you for the first time and definitely feel too comfortable with their approach.

“With all due respect, I went there just to support my friend, to watch over her in case it turns out that both of you are some creepy, thirsty, questionable individuals. I didn’t ask you to pay for it.''

“They were trying to be nice, y/n. That's it. Calm down.” Maria tries to settle you down, feeling uneasy in this situation.

“Well in that case I really appreciate it. Please don’t do it ever again, thank you.” This situation is straight out of some Bruce Wayne shit.

“Y/n! Are you okay?” The room went weirdly silent. Yes, you got a little bit heated, but you weren't even yelling or arguing.

“Yeah. Why?” Darcy is on her feet immediately, same as Wanda. That confuses you even more.

“You’re bleeding.” The redhead stands right in front of you with those green big eyes and all you think about is getting out of her reach. Just then, you look down, and your beer is stained red. Your hand travels immediately to your nose, finding out that you have a full on nose bleed.

“Shit. Yeah, I'm okay just, shit… just give me a second.” You say quickly and if the whole attention wasn’t on you, people would’ve miss what you said. Someone goes after you, you can feel the presence behind you.

“Fuck.” Just as you see yourself in the mirror, you get an idea of why their reaction was as big. Blood is literally dripping from your nose, it's not a light one either. As you lean above the sink trying to use cold water to minimize the damage, you hear the voice behind you.

“Let me help. You have to-”

“No, thanks, I got this.” Wanda won't let go that easily.

“Baby, I'm just trying-”

“Do you use nicknames on all strangers you meet?” You can't help but bite back, it makes you feel uncomfortable. She ignores your question and tries to move your flannel out of the back of your neck. You jump at her touch, not in a good way. Her hand is cold from the drink she was holding, and she is too close to you.

“I don’t need your help.” Your hand is red, half of the sink stained, and the blood doesn't seem to stop coming any time soon. Before she can try to make a move one more time, the bathroom door opens with force.

“Sit your ass down, and pinch your nose right above your nostrils.” Darcy is stern in her voice and right when you think about telling her off she continues.

“I'm not going to tell you twice. Sit your ass down, or I'm going to yell for Carol, and she is going to make you.” You look at her in the mirror in front of you. She stands tall, arms crossed at her chest, while she is holding something green in one hand. Wanda is still in the bathroom with both of you, she looks surprisingly concerned about this whole situation. Darcy is not backing down and for your own sake you are sitting down on the toilet cover.

“Always so fucking stubborn. Hold this.” A bag of frozen peas lands on the back of your neck, almost making you jump.

“I got this.” Wanda chimes in and as you are about to argue, Darcy's look makes you stop. Coldness travels down your spine and your head feels light because of the blood loss. It happens often, but not as bad as this one. Your friend leaves, and as you are left with Wanda, all you want is to avoid unnecessary conversations.

“Does it happen often?” Seems like you can't avoid it.

“No.”

“Darcy says it does.”

“Then why do you ask?” For just a second she looks sad, and you realize that you act a little bitchy.

“Sorry, it's just annoying.”

“It's okay, thank you for apologizing. Your friends say that you overwork yourself a lot. Is that the reason it's happening?”

“No. No, it's not.”

“Then what is it? Her concern seems fake, or needed as a social expectation of the situation. You don't know why, but it makes you feel sick, or maybe it's the headache that's coming.

“Cocaine.” By her expression you can see that she is shocked but tries to be as casual about it as she can.

“She’s kidding.” Darcy is no fun. She returns to your side and kneels in front of you, taking your head into her hands. As she makes sure you are okay, she tells Wanda to take off the bag, and you are surprised when you feel her drying your skin with a towel, after the ice melted.

“Go lie down. And no working y/n. No essays, no school, no working. I mean it.” You laugh at her and thank both of them for help. After cleaning yourself up, you don't bother going to the living room anymore, and you disappear in your sheets.

You wake up some time later with a full on headache. Naps are the worst thing that can happen. You never felt good after taking one. You put on a jumper and take a look at the time. It's dark outside and the clock shows 1am. You couldn't be more grateful for that. If that was 4am, you probably wouldn't go to sleep anymore. Since it's relatively early, you can still catch a couple of hours of sleep. Priority now is taking care of your headache.

The apartment is really quiet. As you move smoothly through the hall, you pay attention to the shoes mess at the entrance. Pepper is not here, but it seems as though Carol and two redheads are still in your apartment. Also, Kate still isn't back. Her room is open and as much as you would love to spare her the pain of the conversation that awaits, it's killing you that she still isn't aware of what happened. Even the worst of the truths is better than lying.

It’s dark, soft light comes from your bedroom behind you and the living room in front of you. Darcy's doors are closed, which means that Carol is probably staying the night, it's not unusual. You just don't understand why they would stay here when they have like five other houses to choose from. You are surprised to see the living room occupied. On one of the stools, you can see Wanda finishing up a glass of red wine. Her lips are a little bit stained because of it, and the soft light coming from the candle brightens up her face, bringing out all the features. Her jaw looks really sharp, and you can't help but think that rich people definitely put too much money into fixing up unimportant things about them. It would be amazing if that kind of operation would work on personalities too. As soon as she sees you, she puts down her glass and straightens her posture, probably trying to dominate you. It's too late for that, and you are too tired to play her game, so you don't acknowledge her presence.

“How are you feeling, y/n?” She asks as you enter the kitchen to fish inside the cabinet for your favourite tea and your mug. You stay silent, trying to pretend that you didn't hear her worried voice, flowing through the empty kitchen.

“Y/n?” She tries again, her voice is softer now as you are about to run away. She thinks you are weak. At least that's what you are telling yourself.

“I feel thirsty.” You search the inside of the cabinet trying to navigate through a million types of cups, mugs and glasses, thinking why do you need so many. You hear her subtle laughter, and god nobody made you that confused with their reactions, confused and annoyed. You swear under your breath, not finding your favourite green mug in the place it should be. The dishwasher is open and empty, and all you can think of is searching the house to find your comfort object. It's a gift from your brother, and everybody knows not to touch it, so who in the hell would- it's like a lightbulb being turned on above your head. You turn around with so much power, scanning the surroundings in front of you. You spot your mug standing next to Wanda, and she catches that.

“Oh, that's what you’re looking for?” She makes it sounds like a question, but her smirk is nothing else but an invitation to her game, in which you are not planning to participate. As you let out a loud sigh, you go around the kitchen island to grab it. At the same time she turns around on the chair following your movement. You are not going to ask for it back, just as she didn't ask if she can use it. Is it normal for people like them to just take what they want?

“Oh, you want it?” Honestly, you can help but think, “is she dumb?”.

“No, actually I came over to leave it where it is, I just wanted to see it up close.” Sarcasm is dripping from every word you say. Your sentence is coated in it hoping that she will get the message.

“It or me?”

“Oh get over yourself” You reach to her left, the mug is almost in your hand, but she is faster. She snatches it into her hand, drinks the rest of the water she had in it, and lifts it up to have it out of your reach.

“Why would I? I enjoy it too much.” Your eyes are fixated on hers, the green colour sparkles with golden flakes in dimmed light. Her left hand keeps her stable by holding the counter. Your eyes are going lower, following the movement of her body. Her jacket falls lightly to the sides as she opens her legs in front of you. She wants you to reach for it. It feels like you have to work for your own property.

“Of course you do. Does the lack of manners come in a rich, self-indulgent package?” It seems like she is too mighty to have people talking to her that way. As much as you adore Carol, her friends are not your favourite kind of people. While she takes a second to react to the boldness of your statement, you use this moment to your advantage. You grab her free wrist and pull it into your direction, causing her to lose balance and fall forward. To avoid an actual fall, she grabs anything to regain control, and the closest thing to her is you. Her hand falls right onto your waist. As being just in your pyjamas, a basic t-shirt is not helpful when her cold palm digs into your side. The whole situation takes like 5 seconds, and you can't react fast enough to get out of her grip. You find yourself in an awkward position. Her face is too close to yours, as she gasps you can feel her breath on your skin. It's also cold, you assume it's because of the wine she was just drinking. It has to be an expensive kind, too, because you can't smell sulphur in her breath. Instead of actually letting you go, she seems to fight herself not to bring you closer. You can't figure out what kind of game she is playing, but you refuse to give her the upper hand in whatever this is. You get closer to her, your lips barely inches apart, her breath hitches, and before she can make any move she hears you whisper.

“Let me go.” The realization of what she is doing comes on her really fast, and she looks almost scared. The proximity of your bodies allows you to grab the mug at the last second and as she lets you go, you return to the kettle. You notice that the air in the room feels thick, so you make a mental note of opening a window before returning to your room. Trying to salvage your grip on the situation, you decide to change the topic, not mentioning that you are already convincing yourself that nothing happened.

“So!” That brings her attention towards you. The steaming green mug in your hand feels like a trophy.

“Where's your wife?” You take a sip, trying to sound natural and casual. It's after 1am, and you are in the kitchen, with a stranger, wearing a t- shirt and underwear as your pyjamas, after the two of you were in a really uncomfortable position. Bringing her wife up right this moment feels like an excellent idea.

“How do you know she's my wife? Maybe we are just partners.” The glass of wine returns to her hand, and you have to admit that it suits her.

“Your ring. Both of you have matching ones, yours was corrected into a smaller size, family heirloom I assume.” Wanda looks like she waits for you to continue, so you do.

“It's 2 different kinds of gold. The original one is warmer, more coppery and less yellow in tone, it's called Hamilton Gold. When you had it resized, they used a different kind of gold for soldering.” For a second, she looks down at her own hand, and she doesn't look back up at you before taking another sip of her wine. When her eyes meet yours, the only thing you can read in them is amazement.

“Oh, don't look at me like that. I have hobbies.”

“It's surprising that you have time for hobbies. You know, with your schedule.”

“Careful, you’re making it sound like you think you actually know me.” It seems like on every corner of the conversations you have something new for her. You are brutally honest, sarcastic, even rude sometimes and too stubborn for her liking.

“You don't like me, do you?” Before you have a chance to even think about an answer, your conversation is interrupted by the other redhead.

“Hi rodnaya. Sorry it took so long. I just need a glass of water, and then we can go.” Natasha comes up to her wife and kisses her on the cheek. Wanda smiles at that immediately, and you are trying to read them. They seem happy, what would they even look for anything else, are they playing a part in front of you? Or maybe they are just bored in life? You take in the view in front of you. Wanda's lips are even more stained than before, and it seems like Natasha got an imprint of that from her kiss. Just a second ago, you were just as close with her wife, it doesn't feel right. A shiver goes down your spine, but you decide to have this mental fight later. Natasha is a little bit taller than Wanda. Their eyes are similar in colour but have completely different natures. It reminds you of a lake and the ocean, both blue but at the same time totally different. Their hair colour is also different, and Nat’s hair is shorter than her wife’s. As you take your eyes off of their faces, you realize that her outfit that was so well put together before, is absolutely ruined. Her shirt is wrinkled, you are pretty sure that her fly is open, and her pants seem to have been put on in a hurry. You thought about possible reasons for it and, God, you wish you didn't. Maria likes to have fun, and she for sure wouldn't pass on this kind of opportunity. Before creating unwanted images in your head, Wanda’s voice takes you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, don't worry, I had a glass of wine and amazing company.” By the last bit, they are both looking at you. It's two versus one, and you don't like those odds.

“Well, I'm glad you did. Thank you, y/n, for taking care of my girl.”

“No worries, there are just a hundred other things I would rather be doing.” It's late, you are tired, and low on blood. These are perfect conditions for bitchiness. Luckily, they are not asking more and not picking up the topic. As Wanda finishes her wine and sends a fast text on her phone, you are getting ready to go back to bed. You are stopped in your tracks by a hand reaching into your direction.

“Here. If you ever have more gold fun facts or feel the need to talk about our lord and saviour, call us.” A nicely printed business card contains Wanda’s and Natasha’s names, followed by two phone numbers. You look at her with a fake, softish smile.

“I’ll call you, if I ever need a lawyer. Thank you.” You nod at her and Natasha and while feeling their eyes on you, you throw the card into the bin. Your methods might be a little brutal, but they never fail when it comes to people leaving you alone. You expect them to look disappointed, maybe even mad. Some little comment about how disrespectful you are, a much too loud scoff, precisely loud for you to hear. You can't read them, and it's infuriating, you don't feel safe. Wanda smiles at you, showing a little dimple on her left side. She hands something to her wife and as Natasha takes it from her hand she sends you a smirk and puts another business card down on the counter. The sound of closing doors makes all of you turn into the direction of Darcy's room. Carol looks like she was almost asleep, being woken up at an ungodly hour.

“I got your text, are you guys ready?” The question is thrown in the general direction of the living room. The two redheads are on their feet immediately collecting their belongings. Carol looks at you and sends you a warm smile.

“You look better y/n. Keep your nose bleeds in check, Darcy is really worried about you.”

“Aye, aye captain.” Since your best friend told you about her partner's favourite title, you have been smoothly using it to throw Carol off. It seems to work, as she always puts her hands into fists, taking a couple of deep breaths.

“It was lovely to meet you, y/n.” Wanda is sweet in her voice, still having this curious look while studying your face.

“It really was. See you around, sugar.” Natasha is more cocky, and it doesn't look as good on her as she thinks.

As the apartment loosen up and gets more quiet, you want to take a couple extra minutes to unwind after everything, just sitting on the couch and taking in the view from the big windows.

“You’re still awake.” Darcy is up, and she is the only person whose presence you don't mind right now, or ever.

“Yeah, you know how naps work on me. I thought you were asleep.” She sits next to you and steals your mug. Taking a long sip of lightly warm tea, she puts her head on your rough shoulder. You adjust your body to make it more comfortable for the both of you.

“I almost was, but Carol has some meetings in the morning, and she had to go.” You only nod in understanding, and the room is filled by comfortable silence. This is something that you were only able to build up with Darcy. Complete trust towards each other and the whole truth between the two of you, without actually having to say a word. It takes time, and effort, but you are always willing to put in more, but it doesn't mean that you don't fight.

''What do you think about what happened?'' Her question takes you by surprise and only after giving it a couple of seconds thought, do you get what she is asking about.

“You didn't tell me that the date was with two women.”

“Does it matter?”

“It would if I had to take them out. You know, they could always turn out as some creeps.”

“They aren’t.” Darcy sounds serious, and it throws you off a little bit. These kinds of topics work as a dynamite on both of you. Just a little spark to set off an explosion. You don't agree with each other on a lot of levels, but usually you can find a middle ground. You are not so sure if that's the case right now.

“Why would Maria take money from strangers, though. At some point they will either want to take it back and will try to make her do something for it. Nobody gives this amount without asking for anything back.” It's shady, they are, and you don't like it. You would do everything to protect your friends, they are your family. Knowing that someone has so much power over one of your friends doesn't sit right with you.

''Maybe they just wanted to be nice.'' You roll your eyes. You said what you said, and Darcy can't make you change your mind. It's surprising she is even trying,

“I don’t know… all of it seems a little extreme.” You are confused, for sure, but you also feel some kind of disgust. Letting someone pay just because, it’s …. It's wrong. And then just going to bed with a complete stranger while her wife is in the next room.

“It’s not that extreme.” Darcy tries to reason with you, educate you on unknown topics. You were trying to see things from her side, but it's like talking in different languages.

“Darcy, you are literally wearing a dog collar.” You say while hooking your finger in the metal hoop, tugging at it very lightly. She slaps your hand away and looks offended.

“It's not a dog collar. God y/n. You know it's not about humiliating or degrading someone. It's a matter of ownership, Carol engraved her name on it, and it makes me feel loved beyond reason. She chose me, and she chooses me every single day. My collar shows how much she cares about me, and how proud she is of me. Carol is so happy to have me that she wants to show the rest of the world that I’m all hers, that they can only look but never touch. Tell me how that is degrading.

“This seems like a control freak thing.” You are getting really close to the boundaries right now, you can feel it. She is getting fed up, her head long gone from the space on your shoulder. Her face is shocked by the things you say. It's not going too well.

“Talking about it is one thing, but talking shit about my girlfriend is not acceptable. You've known Carol all this time… Did she ever come across as a control freak? Also, have you ever noticed her ring?” You think for a second, trying to recall the image of it in your head.

“The silver one she never takes off? I swear to god she showers, sleeps, and works with this thing on.”

“It has an engraving on the inside of it. A sign that she belongs to me just as much as I belong to her. Don’t speak up about things you know shit about.” At this point, she is standing up in front of you, and you feel trapped. Abandoning the conversation seems like the best decision at this moment, you are just too deep into it, and you don't know how to save yourself. You never meant to insult your friends.

“Okay, let's leave you and Carol for a second. What about Maria, God I would die for her, but she wants to be under somebody so much. Provide for her, tell her what to do, what to say, what to wear, who to be. This is not normal.” You really do love her, but you simply don't understand. If that were you, you would do everything to make it stop.

“Let’s not leave Carol and me. I want the same things from Carol, I'm getting the same things from Carol. Am I not normal?” You can see tears forming in her eyes. It's rare for you two to make each other cry, but every time you do, it's like hell visiting earth. You stand up to be with her on the same level, and as you do, you realise it's a mistake. Your mouth seems to work faster than your brain, and you wish you never said out loud the things you are about to say.

“Fuck sorry Darcy but it's sick. Making yourself barely exist for someone's pleasure. If you are too scared to live your life, just say so. I love you, but the fact that you chose the easy way doesn't mean I need to approve of it. I love you Darcy, so much, the last thing I want and have time for is arguing with you right now. I don't think we are going to find middle ground here”. If the looks could kill, you would be dead right there and then. She balls her hand into a fist, but you stand your ground. She moves towards you, you feel her hot breath on your face, nostril flare up, and her eyes filled to the brim with sadness, threatening to spill.

She puts a finger on your chest with surprising force, but you still didn't move. You feel smaller under her gaze, not really sure why. Her next words proved what kind of power she has in your life.

“Sick? There is no middle ground in this. You are just wrong, so, so wrong about all of this. God, how can you be so fucking blind? You are not better than any of us, just because you decide to be lonely with your struggles. Grow up, because I want my fucking friend back, and until you do, don't talk to me.”

That's it. She just stormed off to her room, leaving you in heavy silence. You’ve had arguments before, but you never said out loud what you actually think about the style of relationships your friends are living or want to live in. You should have kept your mouth shut. Mentally scolding yourself, you finish your tea and decide to try to fall asleep. Today was too long, and you wish none of it ever happened at all.

Next chapter

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