#classes are online so i go to the library to do stuff
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thnksfrthmmrs · 1 month ago
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sometimes you really have to fight a part of your brain that tells you to self isolate. and it sucks!
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dreamesamu · 3 months ago
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THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED
in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him
starring. akaashi keiji x fem!reader
genre(s): angst to fluff, (super, like-) long scenario 
warning(s): none, i think so? except for clueless keiji and not proof-reading
author’s note: akaashi is just a major green flag in this (every haikyu!! boy is 😭) i feel too bad to write them red-flag-y.
choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi
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you’ve known akaashi for quite some time, starting from your last year of fukurodani academy and then serendipity brought you both ended up being each other’s classmate at a same college/university. bokuto kotaro was your best friend, the little owl introduced his favorite setter to you and the friendship of three gradually become established, and as if it can not be any more inevitably, you eventually developed a secret admiration for the pretty setter when you three have been closed enough. however, graduating separated ways, kotaro pursued his journey to become professional in volleyball while keiji, once said to you he wanted a place in the literature department.
truth be told, even if you promised each other you would still keep in touch and plan every weekend friend group meeting online or offline, you’ve never expect you would share every class in higher education life with your crush, the akaashi keiji. the great thing is you both are paired up for an presentation assignment in the major you and him pursue, you do have plenty of time to stay close and grab his attention from making gestures that he usually failed to realizes.
here you are again, happily humming your favourite song while carrying a box wrapped with a small detailed towel, some big rolls of assignment paper stuck underneath your arm as you make your way back to where you both planned to finish the project - the library. 
“keiji, i’m back!” you set your things respectively on the table, and akaashi nods with a smile on his face in acknowledgement.
“oookay, so here’s your today’s snack, I hope you’ll like it” you grin, tapping on the box before pushing it to his side as he receives it and casually opens it while speaking.
“hmm? are those sketches of our poster? you can always edit them on the computer, why the effort?” he chuckled softly before completely unwrapping the bento box.
“I’m not good at designing and stuff. I may draw as I like and you’ll be the one to edit it on the computer.” you puff your cheek out, hands resting on hips as you watch his reaction to your delicately decorated sweets in the box made for him.
“this looks amazing.” he smiles upon seeing the pastries you made, decorated beautifully with different kinds of fruit as each pastry has different flavours, you probably did not stay up so late last night just to make all kinds of flavours for him to show how much you like him. yeah, probably not.
"oh, it's nothing, I just hope it doesn't taste bad" you chuckle nervously while scratching the back of your neck, letting his praise send you up to cloud nine.
your actions falter when you see akaashi put back the box's cap on, set it aside as he leans over to reach the posters you drew.
"now then, can we start working on the project?" he spreads out the piece of paper, glancing at you as you stand there awkwardly, prefer him taking a bite to look through all of your efforts than just shrugging it off and go straight to the main part of your study session.
"what...? oh- um..." you trail off, a bit embarrassed. "wouldn't you like to try one out? it won't hurt to just have a taste of it..."
"maybe later, y/n. we have other things need to be done right now." he merely states, eyes study the poster in front of him, unknowingly sinking your heart.
"yes, right." you shift slightly, taking the sit by the opposite of him, trying to catch up with him on the progress.
you let your mind wanders off how many times you've lost count already while akaashi quietly focused on scribbling something in his notebook, every thoughts you have are always about keiji, your feelings and the stare you give him thinking it's discreet. what's stopping him from trying my tarts out? and how does he feel being around me? or is that his way of rejecting something without making that person feel bad? flooded your mind.
"y/n?" you realize his faint voice ringing somewhere "y/n..." the voice becomes clearer. "earth to y/n, you're staring." awh, snap. right.
you blink, startled before clearing your throat, mumbling a small apology as you try to get yourself busy with the work underneath you once again.
but akaashi just chuckles, his voice calm and reassuring.
"hey, you seem off today. it's lunch break, please make yourself comfortable." you fumble at his words, it's noon already? as he collects his books and tidy it up at one corner of the table before speaking again.
"yuri satsuki is inviting me to have lunch with her. would you like to also join? i think she wouldn't mind." he kindly offers, probably not knowing the words struck you shocked.
you know satsuki-senpai, she's a year older than you and has been a social butterfly ever since you set foot in student life. she is a nice person, you conceived, but not until you found out that she has a huge crush on your akaashi keiji, her behaviour in your eyes became somewhat annoying. in return, she did realize she had a rival to win over him, you acknowledge that through the smug look she gave every time akaashi was around her instead of you, that is how the tension gradually builds up between you and your pain-in-the-ass rival.
and now she's even invited keiji for lunch? you feel an uncomfortable twist in your belly, screaming that if you do not take further actions, you lose akaashi to her. but his way of discarding your hard work, also known as an attempt to get his attention earlier discourages you hastily. this comes to a realization: ever since he start hanging out with satsuki-senpai, he has never touched one of your cooks once.
"no, i'm fine staying here. you go" you force a smile waving him goodbye. he hesitates upon seeing the downward trend of your mood as well as the strange attitude every time he brings up yuri.
"what are you waiting for?" you scoff, trying your best to make it sound not so bitterly. he nods quietly before ruffles your hair, thoughtfully remind you to get something to eat before start working again, and he'll be back with you soon.
you groan for the nth time in thirty minutes since his last leave, deciding not to eat anything at all after you laugh bitterly to yourself seeing the bento box laid cold by his stuffs which corrects your thoughts that he is not going to appreciate what you did for him.
the chair scraped the floor when you stand up, attempting to compose yourself when you feel your brain need a break from overthinking such situations.
on the way out of the library, your eyes meet yuri satsuki's, assuming that keiji is just somewhere around here as his lunch break partner is the person you least excited to bump into.
"well, well. isn't that the girl whose best friend choose to hang out with me instead of her?"
excuse me?
"don't get too ahead of yourself, satsuki-senpai. just a friendly reminder" your tone evidently irritated as you flash her an unamused smile, trying to avoid her as soon as possible.
but the radio scene of her voice replayed all over your head, your mind goes muddy despite the fresh air you're trying to take in, you let out a shaky breath, tears brimming out.
maybe, he doesn't quite noticed the things I did for him after all...
---
"you're back. where were you?" akaashi worried tone surprises you after a quite fine time of trying to find you because your study desk in the library was empty.
"i was... out for fresh air. why?" your voice is off and he noticed that. he always knew when something is bothering you, and right now he definitely know that something is wrong.
"after i finished my lunch i got yours, 'cause i know when i'm back you would still hadn't eaten anything." his brows slightly furrow seeing your avoiding attitude.
"thanks, keiji." you said briefly, take the package from his hand and sit down on your seat, never forget to notice the pastry box still intact.
your strange attitude didn't just stop there, it confuses akaashi for a more couple of days of your avoidance, he dislike the way you put a small distance between you both in study sessions, you flinch and tense around him more often, your answers and conversations are brief and sometimes awkward as you seem to be more preoccupied and attentive rather than to communicate with him.
"good morning, y/n." he smiles, your state has been bothering him for days as he is paying attention to your fade grin and a small "hey" as a greet back.
then he fumbles. something is missing...
oh. but then, realization sets in him quite quickly: you didn't bring any homemade sweets today.
"y/n..." he hesitates, meeting your eyes as you lift your head up from the notebook you're scribbling on. "does your home perhaps... out of ingredients or something?"
you are stunned for a moment, knowing exactly what he was trying to imply, scared to look at him directly in the eye as you shift your gaze elsewhere, pretending to have forgotten.
"oh... you mean the pastries... I forgot to do it. I was busy yesterday"
lies. he see through it, you know that, but you can't just blurt it all out that you're heartbreaking because of his indirect rejection that never says he doesn't like you, but makes you feel like it did.
"hey... i know something is wrong, can you tell me what it is?"
there it is - the worried look on such handsome face that never fails to make your heart flutter. but you know, that is just his nature of being an attentive and thoughtful person, not just for only you, but for everyone in his orbit.
so his question remained unanswered.
akaashi has been extremely distracted due to the sudden lack of your affection on him. it's just doesn't feel the same. even if he refuses it but deep down, he misses your midday snacks, your bubbly laugh around him and that flushed cheeks you wear every time he caught you staring. it has been a whole week since, and the fact that you didn't join the friend group video call with bokuto last sunday was his last straw.
he misses you, dearly. and if he doesn't do anything now before your project is finished, he might find it difficult to approach you even when you are his best friend.
and then, on an another lovely morning in the college's campus, an emotion he thinks he's aware of stirring in his stomach at the scene of you handing out a bento box wrapped with the same detailed towel, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips as the other boy laughs lightly, scratches his neck, sending regards with a polite bow before making his way back in the classroom, akaashi doesn't like what his eyes have witnessed, so when he met yours, the bitterful look sends shivers down your spine.
you turn away, begin to walk, you do not want to deal with your bothered heart right now, not if it has anything to do with him, with that thought, you choose to neglect it because it is just your one-sided feelings for him.
but you hear footsteps behind, next is a small "wait" escaped from his lips when he managed to catch up and hold gently on your arm. that stopped you midtrack.
"please. can we talk?" he pleads.
---
you find yourself trapped by his presence in a corner of the school's library. there's no point in avoiding now.
"i'm sorry." he states. "i like you, i should've known."
your eyes widen. why- all of a sudden?
akaashi glances at you, softly sighs before bring your hand up to his face and kiss your knuckles gently.
"i understand now, i was clueless, you have the very right to be mad at me." each sentences he speaks crack your heart, but at the same time, they give you hope.
you neither know how to react, nor what to say, you just stand there, completely speechless, it encourages him to continue his speech of pursuing you.
"the last time i went to have lunch with satsuki, she confessed to me." he stopped, watching your expression. "but i turned her down, then, she got angry and started to brag about you. i did not like what she said, so i got quite defensive and... that was when i realised."
"i didn't know when it started. i just knew that i didn't feel very comfortable seeing you bringing your pastries that was meant for me to someone else, and more it's because i didn't appreciate it."
he squeezes your hand, afraid if not, you'll slip from his grip and become somebody else's apple. he certainly dislikes the thought.
"i want your pastries back, i love them as much as i love you. please let me correct such a terrible mistake."
---
"yes, hello. i've received the box, thank you, my love."
akaashi spins his office chair slightly, softly speaking to the phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder with a smile while unwrapping a huge warm box of freshly baked tarts.
"keiji, bad news, i'm out of powdered sugar after that batch." your voice echoed on output, he chuckles.
"are you free after work? we can visit the supermarket to purchase some. i'll drive, consider this a date with me, 'mkay?"
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© 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.
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chosolala · 4 months ago
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jjk characters at american highschool ˙⋆✮
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i’ve been seeing this silly headcannons all over tiktok for other anime so i thought i’d make a jjk version but here’s the type of student i think characters would be at an american school :]
characters: yuji, megumi, nobara, gojo
yuji itadori
never has a ride and failed his drivers test
genuinely tries to pay attention but never has any idea what’s going on
“class clown” but is actually kinda funny unintentionally
wears sports brands for all his clothing
goes off campus for lunch everyday even if he isn’t supposed to
gets invited to every party but never ever goes
“i’ll do it for a dollar”
does no extra curricular school activities despite a bunch of his peers asking him to join their teams and stuff
tiktok shop fidget toy victim, bro has a pop it phone case
constantly getting caught for being on his phone in class
hes the type of guy whos phone will randomly start blasting music bc he forgot to mute it
dont ask him if he has a pencil
megumi fushiguro
mansplains
actually so sassy at first, like if you talk to him and he had no prior intention on reaching out to you he doesn't wanna talk to you
type of guy to do all the work on the group project in one night because he doesnt trust you
brings local business iced coffee to school every day in first period
has a car and only gives people rides in return for favors
probably in like theater but works behind stage
takes really good notes, ppl ask to take pictures to study
like the entire school knows him but he ONLY knows his friend circle dont ask him abt anyone else
probably randomly gets philosophical during the conversation
makes tiktoks where he just stares into the camera and ruffles his hair a few times with a lana del rey song in the background (half his comments are lana stans calling him a poser or something)
tries to put girls onto his niche music taste and its just like birds dont sing by tv girl
nobara kugisaki
buys into every microtrend ever but is always trendy
always drinking those bottled starbucks frappes you can get in vending machines
everyone thinks she might be gay
makes tiktoks in school of her and her friends dancing and stuff and you are DEF in the background like passed out or picking your nose lol
talks over the teacher despite them shushing her and her friends multiple times then is shocked when she gets kicked out of class
she is the ultimate girls girl, shes so nice to girls despite looking mean but she will jump a man so quick if he steps out of line
probably like on the track team
goes to the mall sometimes during lunch instead of eating
has skipped in the bathroom and had to hide with her legs on the toilet before
satoru gojo (as a teacher)
extremely unprofessional
sometimes when he doesnt feel like teaching he puts on like wall-e and just has a movie day
literally all in everyones business, students come to him with their problems before they tell the school counselor
like he has some of his students numbers and they gen vent to him and are like friends with him
NEVER teaches, he just posts power points online and gives test every few weeks
orders kfc for lunch
maki zenin
everyone thinks she and nobara are girlfriends
takes all her notes on her ipad
she does NOT play about school field day
always brings medicine, feminine products, deoderant, anything you might need maki has it
kind of the mom friend
probably in like cross country
has the fattest hydroflask water bottle and is constantly getting up to refill it
very organized school supplies
has college stickers on all her stuff
gen takes school seriously
sometimes goes out to eat with the others but often spends lunch alone in the library reading or studying while she eats
brings a tote bag instead of a bookbag
inumaki toge
also always has medicine
will text you at 2am on a school night asking u to get on duos
his mom packs his lunch for him and the group picks on him for it
he is the funny friend nobody is checking up on
for some reason he speaks fluent spanish (he is not hispanic in case you didnt know)
texting during class but never gets caught
also skips class sometimes but actually goes off campus with people instead of the bathroom
sometimes makes brainrot comments
will ask to copy your homework but will let you copy his next time as a thanks
has the worst handwriting ever almost unreadable, ts has teachers breaking down the syllables and stuff trying to decode his essay
also vents in his english essays
kento nanami (as a teacher)
openly talks shit about the principals and higher up staff to his students literally any chance he gets
constantly breaking school rules he does not gaf if he gets fired
leaves the class alone sometimes to go talk to other teachers
all the girls lowkey have a crush on him (he has no idea)
has a seating chart but for like 3 students, so if youre unproblematic he keeps you with his friends
probably has a class pet, like a hamster even though he isnt allowed to, he dont gaf
still gives all his assignments on paper
leaves a gold star sticker if you score a 90+
always messing with higher up staff any chance he gets
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bitchesgetriches · 9 months ago
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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal
We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.
On food and groceries:
How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss
Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic
If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You
You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid
You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.
On entertainment and socializing:
The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend
7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment 
Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date
The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There
Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!
What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?
You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s
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How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke
Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money
Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics
Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership
How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription 
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Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question
Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague
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You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel
3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income) 
When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans
The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 
Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”
The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It
On buying secondhand and trading:
Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand
I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online
The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade
On giving gifts and charitable donations:
How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?
In Defense of Shameless Regifting
Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities
The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum
How to Spot a Charitable Scam
Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again? 
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How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements
Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake
The Magically Frugal Power of Patience
6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending
On minimalism and buying less:
Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool
Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse
Slay Your Financial Vampires
The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending
On saving money:
How To Start Small by Saving Small
Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal
The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges
Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead
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Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”
The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess
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1d1195 · 2 months ago
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Honey IV
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Read Honey here | ~5.6k words
Warnings: Angst, fluff, pining, another mini daddy-kink moment . A smidge of jealous Harry (more NIALL 😍)
Summary: “If y’want t’come to the office t’deliver it, y’could,” he said quietly.
“Aw, just want to see Miss Cecelia at lunch?” She asked with a smile.
For the first time in six months, Harry wasn’t thinking about Cece when he thought about her coming to the office for a visit. He wasn’t thinking about all his employees fawning over the little baby. The only thought he had regarded the pretty girl in his kitchen that was so thoughtful and kind to his little family.
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Playing house with the pretty woman that lived a few rooms over from him was becoming a dangerous pastime for Harry. The way she looked so at ease with Cece on her hip. How she cooked and cleaned because she wanted to. It was immensely irritating solely because Harry was thinking things he shouldn’t. Thinking inappropriate things about how quickly he could give Cece a sibling.
Harry was getting to know her more and more as time moved on. After almost four months it seemed like it was time. She was a little closed off. Never invited friends over—especially after that one date she had ended with her so upset. But he did meet a few of them through FaceTime. The girls she was friends with seemed a little tongue tied but they gushed over Cece and asked when they could come see her place. But her happy, cheerful attitude seemed unbelievably resilient regarding her date fiasco. There were no men she mentioned which was good from Harry’s perspective.
He couldn’t deny he was rapidly falling for her, and he couldn’t stop himself. For Christmas, she had a giftbag on the counter beside a treat box in addition to his daily leftovers. “Could you bring that to Niall?” She asked while setting toast with jam in front of him. Harry’s eyes followed her as she flitted about the kitchen. “He said he was going to Ireland for Christmas,” she explained.
He scowled. He didn’t care if it was ridiculous or if she would read into it, if he would read into it. “Do y’do this for everyone in your life? Or are y’in love with Niall?”
She laughed. “I love Niall, but not like that.”
He was lucky Cece was gurgling so much or he might have asked why—was there someone else or did Niall repulse her? He hoped it was the latter more than anything. He would seriously struggle if it was the former. “Do you and Cece have plans today?” He asked.
She shrugged. “Just the usual library and a little walk,” she turned and leaned against the counter. “Why?”
“If y’want t’come to the office t’deliver it, y’could,” he said quietly.
“Aw, just want to see Miss Cecelia at lunch?” She asked with a smile.
For the first time in six months, Harry wasn’t thinking about Cece when he thought about her coming to the office for a visit. He wasn’t thinking about all his employees fawning over the little baby. The only thought he had regarded the pretty girl in his kitchen that was so thoughtful and kind to his little family.
Chloe would have loved her, and he hoped that was enough.
“Yeah, she’s getting so big,” he frowned. His little love was nearing six-months. It was killing him. Her first Christmas was about to come and pass. He bought her so much stuff and she wouldn’t even know it was Christmas other than pictures he would keep forever.
“She’s still little,” she cooed and sat on the stool beside Harry and turned to look at them. “You ready to try some solid food, cutie pie?”
Harry stiffened as Cece looked at her passively while drinking her bottle. But his stiffness didn’t pass by her. She was too attuned for him to sneak anything by her.
She encouraged Harry to take an online class about introducing solid food to Cece. It was terrifying to listen to. But she was CPR certified (because of course she was) and Harry was signed up for that next, but she promised to be right beside him when Harry tried to give her avocado for the first time—which was right now. “This is a Daddy moment,” she told him. If he wasn’t so distraught he would think about how that word in her mouth made him crazier for her. “It’ll be awesome,” she promised squeezing his knee. “She’s not even going to eat it, she’s probably just going to mush it around on the high chair.”
Harry wanted no part of Cece growing up. “Can’t y’jus’ stay little, baby girl?” He cooed and kissed her hair. “I’ll give y’anything y’want,” he bargained.
She giggled, getting up and bringing the highchair over in front of him. Harry took a deep breath feeling like he was going to die a little bit and deposited his daughter in the seat. She looked so little, but she was gurgling and smiling at him.
“Daddy loves avocado,” she said knowingly, carrying a plate of thick slices over to the pair of them. “Let me get my camera ready,” she said taking her phone out and pulling the stool out a little distance away. “Okay, Cece, action,” she joked and watched as Harry patiently waited for her to acknowledge the food.
It didn’t take long, she reached out and immediately squished one of the slices between her fingers. “Is it squishy?” He wrinkled his nose and kissed her forehead. “Is it so squishy?” He repeated, making her giggle. She shoved her hand toward her mouth, making Harry excessively nervous by the amount that was in her hand and how tiny her mouth was. His gaze anxiously flickered to her behind her phone.
“That’s so good, Cece,” she encouraged with a grin and winking at Harry, so he knew not to be nervous, and it wouldn’t ruin the video of such an important memory. He took a deep breath and tried to savor the moment.
She paused her video. “Put some on your finger and then hold it out to her lips to try,” she told him settling her phone in her lap for a moment. She took some of the avocado from the plate as a demonstration with her index finger. Barely any appearing when she showed Harry and then she pressed her finger to her lips before she picked her phone back up. Harry wondered if anyone in the history of the world had ever been turned on by the prettiest woman eating avocado off her fingertip in front of a baby. That had to be a record. “Ready?” She asked.
Harry did as she showed him and nodded. “All set,” he smiled sweetly as she grabbed her phone again. “Ready baby?” He asked and held his finger right in front of her lips. She was still squishing her hand near her mouth but as far as Harry could tell, none had gone in. But Harry’s finger appeared much more interesting to the little one and she immediately put her lips to his index finger. He chuckled as she sucked on it, smacked her lips together so cutely that both of them laughed at the little noise. There was a quiet pause as Cece’s face morphed into a frown that was downright comical on her little lips and then she burst into tears.
Their laughter continued for a moment as Harry grabbed a wipe and rubbed her face of all she had left behind. “Oh, was that so icky?” Harry clucked and kissed her little cheeks where tears had fallen. “Good, y’can be m’baby for a while longer and we’ll only have bubbas,” he promised. “No growing up for us,” he scooped her out of the seat, avocado getting on his suit, but he didn’t care.
“Harry,” her voice was soft. He turned to her, catching the kind look in her eye. “Do you offer parental leave at your company?”
All of the air left his lungs. It was a miracle he didn’t drop his daughter. He hoped his face remained unaffected because he felt anything but unaffected.
If she was pregnant, Harry was going to scream. It took him a solid minute of focusing on the smell of Cece: baby shampoo and mashed avocado. When would she have gotten pregnant? Of course, more importantly, who got her pregnant made him worry he was going to squeeze Cece too tight if he asked.
As far as Harry knew, she hadn’t left the house in months to go on a date. He cleared his throat, swallowed the rock that lodged itself in his esophagus. “Well... yeah, of course I do.”
“Did you use it?” She asked, her voice still quiet.
Harry blinked. He wasn’t expecting that question. “What?”
“Did you take your parental leave?”
“Well...no. But s’a little different when y’own the company.”
“Harry,” she frowned. Then he realized. She was not pregnant, thank fuck. Naturally she was asking on behalf of Harry, making sure that he was taken care of because that’s what she did. “You need to take it,” her smile was so lovely. “It’s the perfect time, it’s the holiday season and then you’ll have your birthday—”
Holy shit. “How do y’know when m’birthday is?”
“Because I own a phone with internet?” She rolled her eyes. Harry snorted. “It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO, Harry. You deserve time with your baby as much as anyone else.”
“I can’t exactly leave, leave.”
“Then you should only work one day a week! You own the company. You could do whatever you want,” she reminded him. “You will regret not taking this time, I promise. Please take it, you deserve it. Cece deserves it too.”
Harry felt a tightness in his throat. “Well, what ‘bout you?”
“What about me?”
He glanced away, leaving kisses on top of Cece’s head. He took a deep breath. The last thing he wanted to do was come off as creepy asking her to stay in his house even if she wasn’t... needed.
Even if that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“If m’home... then...”
“Oh,” she blinked, understanding immediately. If Harry was home, she didn’t really need to be there. She shrugged. “I mean, I can probably stay with Niall for a couple months. I would of course be happy to watch her on the day you go into work.”
“You’re not staying with Niall,” he grumbled. “You can stay here, obviously. M’not firing you.”
“Phew!” She smiled wiping fake sweat off her forehead. “I could go visit my family, then.”
“They’re not... coming here?” He asked.
Harry had it all arranged, he was going to take Cece to visit his family for the weekend, she could have the house to herself. She could trash it for all he cared. As long as she was happy. He knew how important her family was to her.
“Right, yeah. I didn’t tell you,” she cleared her throat. “They told me last night... so yeah, no,” she looked at her lap. “My little brother would be away from his girlfriend—his first girlfriend so it’s a big deal. It would be too much to get everyone else here, too. They’re probably right. I mean I’m just one person,” she shrugged but Harry could see how much it hurt her to say it. She had been planning for weeks. Presents had been overflowing in her bedroom. Recipes had lined the counter for Harry to decide which ones were best and if he was willing to be a guinea pig for them. If they only told her last night, then they had to have known early on that they never intended to come because there was no way they were booking last-minute flights.
The poor thing.
“Love, I’m so sorry,” he frowned. Cece made a noise that sounded like she was agreeing with him which at least made her smile.
“Thank you, and you,” she pinched softly at Cece’s thigh.
“Well... y’should go be with them regardless of m’leave... But I’ll go talk t’HR today.”
“Honestly?” she swallowed. “I don’t want to. I have done all the traveling for... years. Obviously, I don’t have my own place so I can’t host and so I was so thankful when you offered and,” her voice broke, and she looked away from Harry. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment. She tried to hide how she felt. How dare her family make her sad. She didn’t deserve that. “Anyway,” she stared at her lap. “You did a great job Daddy,” she winked and rubbed his arm as she grabbed the avocado from the highchair and brought it toward the counter in the other room. Harry was sitting there stunned by how she could break his heart and turn him on in the same minute.
“You’re not going to eat that are you?” He wrinkled his nose hoping to distract himself before he professed his love for her or asked to bend her over the counter.
“What are Cece’s hands suddenly unclean from all her hard work in the yard?” She asked sarcastically, but her mouth most definitely already had the mushed avocado in it.
How was he going to convince this sweet, perfect, hilarious woman to hang out with him while on leave?
*
On Christmas, she slept in. It seemed silly to get up when no one would be there. She figured at least she could set out her gifts for Harry and Cece now. She didn’t want Harry to think that he had to get her anything, so she had been monitoring the hundreds of gifts he had put beneath the tree making sure that none had her name on it. Some gifts were wrapped and but most were unwrapped because Cece would be none the wiser.
She was certain no one could love a daughter more than Harry loved Cece.
Merry Christmas she texted to her family. Love and miss you
Her brother reacted with a thumbs up.
Baby bro, your love is 😍 overwhelming
🙄
Merry Christmas, sis her older brother texted. Love you
Their gifts would be delivered late because she didn’t know they weren’t coming. But she thought that was kind of nice, extending the holiday season. Climbing out of the bed, she went to her bathroom and brushed her teeth.
Merry Christmas she had the message typed out to send to Harry but worried it was weird to send. She was hoping to see a picture of her favorite six-month-old in the little Christmas dress Gemma had sent. Maybe Harry was feeling awkward as well because there was no reason he should send her a picture of Cece. It wasn’t necessary.
Deleting the message, she grabbed the box of presents she had been stashing in her walk-in closet in case Harry happened into her room. Harry was impossible to shop for. He was rich as hell and didn’t need anything. But when he insisted on shopping with her a few months back, she got a chance to see what his eyes lingered on and what his style was like outside of tailored suits and fancy wine.
Harry probably could afford the entire inventory of the silly little department store they went to, but he didn’t rush her. He didn’t mind walking around pushing a stroller. He even found something he wanted to buy. Then he pointed at things he thought she would like, and she was glad he was right. It made her feel seen.
She tried to shove the thoughts away of Harry because frankly, she was going to miss them for the weekend. She was lonely and the holiday only amplified that feeling.
“Shit,” he whispered.
Her heart fluttered and she sniffed the air realizing the smell of something baked and delicious was coming from the kitchen.
“Harry?” She asked.
“So close, Ce,” he chuckled. She hurried to the kitchen, dropping the overflowing box on the counter. “What the hell is that?” He asked, pointing the tongs he had poised over the waffle maker at the presents. “Y’didn’t get her anything, did you?”
“What are you doing here?” She asked in shock. Cece was sitting in her highchair mashing a banana into the table in front of her as well as her face and hair. She giggled at the sight of her favorite friend and Harry smiled.
“Y’thought Miss Cecelia would let y’be alone on Christmas?”
“Harry,” she put a hand on her chest and a tidal wave of tears and emotions cut off her voice. “What about—”
“Well, we didn’t think y’would come t’Mum’s. Even though y’would be more than welcome. So Mum and Gem and everyone are going t’come here.”
She moved her hand to her throat, anxiety clogging it. “No, they’re not. Harry! I don’t have presents for them!”
“Love, y’don’t need t’have presents for them. I figured y’could just cook and bake all those recipes y’had picked out. Trust me that will be plenty—”
She slammed into his body without warning. He dropped the tongs on the kitchen floor and blinked in surprise at the sweet girl snuggling into his body as her shoulders shook. “Why are y’crying, Miss Honey?” He asked quietly. He wound one arm around her waist and cupped the back of her head with the other. Fortunately, he stopped himself before he kissed the top of her hair. She shook her head unable to answer as she cried. But Harry didn’t need an answer. He already knew. After several moments of her tears, he finally spoke again. “Happy Christmas, Miss Honey.”
She sniffled, ducked her head, avoiding his eyes. “Do those have chocolate chips in them?” Her voice had a slight breathy tone having just finished crying.
“Course.”
“This is the best job in the world.”
*
She was so good at everything.
Even board games.
“Why are we even playing this?” He grumbled as she landed on a triple word score spot.
“Because it’s raining,” she giggled. Harry was a businessman. A competitive one. Watching her win at Scrabble was not good for his ego. He grumbled something about how this was unfair. “You wanted to play.”
At the time the rain was sheeting against the front window. It was Saturday and she had another delicious soup simmering on the stovetop waiting to enhance the day. Harry had already watched her read on the sofa snuggled under a blanket and couldn’t believe how much he wanted to lay his head in her lap and fall asleep with her hand in his hair. So he figured playing a board game would keep him from thinking inappropriate thoughts about his employee.
But if he knew she was going to annihilate him like this, he would have let her keep reading. He and Cece spent time playing in her room to give Miss Honey ample time to herself. Harry only brought her out so he could shower after his workout at the gym he had on the basement floor. It was mainly weights which was her least favorite thing so she asked Harry if she could buy a treadmill to put in the gym since it was long since, too cold for her swims (which of course, the very best treadmill was going to be delivered the following week after the conversation).
When he came out of the bathroom, Miss Honey and Cece were rolling on the floor and giggling at each other. Harry didn’t want the day to end so before she left the room, he asked if she would want to play a board game. “I didn’t know y’were going t’hustle me,” he rolled his eyes.
But he loved the way her giggle sounded. He liked how she looked effortlessly comfortable sitting on the opposite side of the coffee table while Harry sat with Cece in her little crescent pillow watching while snuggling with her favorite stuffy. “Hustle you? It’s Scrabble!”
“So jus’ because s’not poker y’can’t hustle me?”
“No poker I would actually hustle you.”
Harry rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but fall in love with the funny bantering tone in her voice. “Do y’hear this Cece? Miss Honey isn’t so sweet after all.”
She smiled, delight flittering in her eyes. She crawled around the coffee table firing the flame of a fantasy Harry didn’t know he had, and she stopped in front of Cece’s little chair. “Is Daddy a sore loser, Cece?” She cooed. “Is Daddy so silly?” She leaned forward and kissed her cheek while tickling her tummy. Harry swore there was something in his brain that short circuited every time she said Daddy. “I’m going to make us some hot chocolate,” she said standing up.
“It’s your turn!” He protested.
Without looking back, she shrugged. “Skip it; I don’t need it.”
He grumbled something under his breath and simultaneously wondered if he was the first person to ever be turned on while playing Scrabble. How was losing to her so hot? Her smugness maybe? It was a side of her that she didn’t see that often.
Fortunately, something shattered in the kitchen that grabbed his attention back before he thought about how even with a skipped turn, there wasn’t a chance he could win. “Shit,” she hissed.
“Love?” He asked, snagging Cece out of her mini chair, he kissed her on the forehead and put her in her rocking swing. He hurried to the kitchen entryway.
“Hold on!” She said, holding her hand out to stop him. There’s glass everywhere,” she sighed. “I’m so sorry, I hope that wasn’t an important mug,” she frowned.
The mug didn’t matter. Not even a little. “Are you okay?” He asked. She was frozen in place.
“Yeah, I’m fine... Can you grab my shoes by the door?”
Harry was already wearing his slippers, so he ignored her and brushed the glass out of the way with his foot. In his next move he reached low around the back of her thighs, wrapping his arms snuggly just below her butt. “Whoa,” she whispered unsteadily as he lifted her as if she were no heavier than Cece. Her heart tumbled in her chest at about three thousand rotations per second. Part of her thought she was going to pass out, but he settled her on the counter and walked away as if that was nothing. Her body felt like it was a thousand degrees. She wished Harry had a nanny cam. She would have watched her get picked up by him like it was her favorite movie. Blinking, she glanced at the living room where Cece was watching the little mobile above her, unaware that she was completely in love with her dad.
Harry returned with the broom and swept all the pieces up. Still not holding her shoes. “Harry, my shoe—”
“I got it, love.”
“Well, I need to get down. I’m not letting you skip all my turns,” she reminded him. He chuckled ignoring her. “At least let me get the vacuum cleaner to make sure,” he didn’t even attempt to help her. “What’s your plan—”
“I’ll jus’ carry you,” he smirked with a shrug.
She really wished for a nanny cam. It seemed Harry was taking his sweet time and left her trapped. He knelt down in front of her to get pieces that slid beneath the overhang of the lower cabinets. Which made her cheeks flame because he was so close to her knee she could have bumped him with it. Was he doing it on purpose? No, he didn’t view her that way. He was a professional, a much better professional than she was.
He left again to grab the vacuum cleaner and turned it on.
Perhaps she was a little too flustered, a little cooped up in Harry’s nice house, because the gorgeous, intelligent, and kind CEO that was vacuuming might have been one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. She loved seeing him each morning in a tailored suit. When he got home wearing his button down that was unbuttoned at the top? She was glad Cece was in bed so she wouldn’t see her eye-fucking her father even if he was her boss while he continued working at the kitchen counter and ate his dinner.
But Harry lounging on the weekend? Sweatpants, a tight t-shirt that hugged every rigid muscle? She was a goner and only so lucky that Cece was in the other room and couldn’t see.
The drone of the vacuum stopped, and Harry smiled at her. “Think I got it all. Y’should be able t’get down... go take your turn while I put this away.” She was pretty sure that was a reminder since she was obviously stupefied by Harry’s hotness. But truthfully, she thought her legs would give out if she tried to stand. “Are you okay?” Harry asked.
She nodded, then shook her head, and hopped down from the counter. “Yes, just a little...” she blinked trying to keep her mind focused on her commanding Scrabble lead. “The weather makes me sleepy.”
As if on cue, the power went out.
“Shit,” Harry muttered.
She grabbed her phone and turned on the flashlight grateful for the dark to hide her hot cheeks and distracted Harry from wondering why she was so flustered.
Leaving Harry in the kitchen, she returned to the living room and scooped Cece out of the swing. “Well, sweet girl, I guess it’s bedtime,” she giggled. There was a very distinct noise that came from behind her. “You absolutely did not bump the board,” she said into the dark.
“Of course not!” Harry sounded defensive, and also very guilty.
“Daddy, is a very sore loser, Cece,” she whispered and kissed her head.
She used her flashlight to glance at her lost lead and shook her head before turning the light on the offending party. Harry was all delicious smiles and dimples. He pulled his phone from his pocket and used the light to help guide them to Cece’s room. “Hmm,” she hummed looking at the dark room as she passed Cece to Harry.
“Let’s get you t’bed, sweet girl,” he cooed and kissed her cheek. He turned to the changing table while she started searching through all of Cece’s toys in the closet.
“I know it’s in here,” she murmured to herself. The thunder cracked loudly overhead, and she jumped in surprise dropping her phone on the floor.
“Y’okay, love?” He asked.
“Yeah, just jumpy.”
“None of your books are ghost stories?”
She snorted. “Not even close... here we are.”
The room glowed with stars all across Cece’s ceiling coming from the lights all over the back of a stuffed turtle. She watched Harry glance around. “Hmm,” he hummed. “S’pretty,” he mumbled. Harry was bathed in a cool bluish and purple glow. His skin seemed to downright sparkle as the color passed over him. He was so pretty.
Taking a deep breath, she placed the nightlight on the floor and Harry kissed Cece again before he gently placed her in the crib. “Good night my love,” he said sweetly rubbing his hand on her stomach.
“Night Cece, sleep tight,” she leaned over just the same and rubbed her hand on Cece’s stomach the same way Harry had. The two of them left, the only light came from their flashlights pointed at their feet.
“Do y’want a rematch?” He asked.
“In the dark?”
“Good point. I was thinking we could jus’ light some candles. If you’re too scared t’lose, I understand.”
She laughed. A candlelit board game was probably the opposite of what would settle her heart. It was bedtime for Cece but still a bit early for two grown adults. She worried she was keeping Harry up because maybe he didn’t want to hang out with her now that the power was out. Now there was nothing to do but really go to sleep because it was too dark to do anything else.
“Um... we don’t have to do this, if you want to go to bed. I imagine you’re tired and going to bed when the power is out makes me feel less guilty,” she shook her head grateful for the dark, so he didn’t have to see her embarrassment.
“I’ll go easy on you,” he joked grabbing candles from the cabinet in the kitchen island.
She snorted. As if she needed that. “No... it’s just... you’re right. It’s dark and it’s silly. I’m sure you’re tired.”
The candles were battery operated. So he wouldn't feel anxious if he forgot to turn them off. She grabbed a few and headed down the hall to the bathroom and turned them on. Once more something Harry wouldn't think about on his own, but she just naturally knew to do.
“S’like eight o’clock on a Saturday night. I know I'm a dad but m’not that old.”
Harry wanted to hang out with her. Her heart felt like it was beating too hard.
Fuck it. “Fair enough,” she laughed. “Do you wanna tell ghost stories then?”
Harry laughed. It was pure, unfiltered, and unaffected by anything. How often did he get moments like this? She was going to make him go to bed at eight on a Saturday? She could control her lovesick emotions for another couple hours.
Hopefully.
*
At some point they abandoned the game. Harry was losing again, and he kept blaming the lack of light on his performance. “Cece’s mum would have loved you,” Harry murmured quietly.
Her heart fluttered. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “We were friends,” he shrugged. “Not in love.”
“Oh, I always kind of wondered if the articles were true.”
“Chloe was bubbly and fun. She loved Cece with her whole heart the entire time she was pregnant and before...” he trailed off. “She didn’t have any family, so it was jus’... our weird little family.”
She wanted to hear more but didn’t want to press. “She’s beautiful,” she thought of the picture that she posed Cece with the last four months on the little blanket that showed off how big Cece was getting.
“S’why Cece is so pretty,” the dark was a good cover so that Harry couldn’t see her slam her tongue between her teeth to keep from saying he was just as much a part of it. “I hope she’s smart and bubbly like her too.”
“You’re doing a great job,” she reminded him. “You know that, right?”
He shrugged. “M’not around a lot.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know, Harry. You have no idea what some families are like. You are...” she smiled. “You’re the best dad,” she promised. “Cece is a lucky girl.”
He tilted his head at her, and she was right; candlelight was horrible for her heart. He was so pretty. “When’s your birthday?”
“What?”
“Birthday? Cake, candles, presents...?”
She swallowed. “It already past.”
“Before y’moved in?” He asked. Was that hope in his voice? She felt guilty. Harry was unbearably kind. She knew it would upset him that he missed it. She shook her head. He stared at her. His eyes unblinking and bubbling with frustration. Even in the dark. “When?”
“When you went on your business trip,” she whispered.
Another pause. She was pretty sure he already knew. “Which day?”
She took a deep breath. “Monday,” she mumbled.
“When I yelled at you?”
“I don’t think about that literally ever. I think about Cece and how scared we were that something was wrong with her and that the phones—”
“Did anyone even say Happy Birthday to you?”
“I think Niall did. But only at like ten minutes of midnight. He didn’t know and he saw it in a post on my Facebook wall.”
There was a tense silence that followed.
“Why didn’t y’say anything?”
“I mean... I’m not...” she shrugged. “It’s just a birthday. I’m not really a party person and it was a Monday. My friends have work and... I’m usually the party planner so quite frankly they probably forgot. But it’s okay. It’s...it’s just a birthday,” but she didn’t sound convinced. She put so much effort into her friend’s special days. Making sure they had a cupcake, a present, and a dinner or gathering of their choosing. She shook her head. “I just remembered I left the stove on before the power went out. I’m going to turn it off in case it comes back on in the middle of the night.”
Harry’s phone was close to dying, but he didn’t care.
Did she get you something for your birthday?
Three months ago? Yeah. A cupcake and a gift if I recall. Can’t wait to see what she cooks up for your birthday.
Did you get her something for her birthday?
Yeah.
...
Didn’t you?
Harry could hear her putting the soup into containers and putting them into the fridge.
“We should probably put another blanket on Cece,” she called quietly. “I need another sweatshirt. Do you need another sweatshirt? I think I saw one in the laundry pile.”
Her sweetness was going to kill Harry.
I didn’t KNOW her birthday happened
Oh man, you’re FUCKED.
“I think I won again,” she said proudly, returning to the living room putting a sweatshirt on over her head. “I put another blanket on Cece. Do you want to play again?”
“Fuck it,” he whispered, dropped his phone on the couch, knocked the board over as he moved quickly around the coffee table half blind from the soft candlelight. Without breaking eye contact, he kissed her.  His hands slid in her hair staticky with the effort of her sweatshirt mussing with her hair. She moaned instantly.
“Harry,” her voice sounded worn. Like a half-groan, half-pained. It made Harry shiver as his lips attached to her throat and he kissed down. “Harry, wait...”
“Wait what, love?” He murmured. “I can’t do this anymore,” his hands slid down her sides.
“We were playing a game...” but her voice was airy. Uncertain.
His lips were back on hers. Causing her to lose focus. Restructuring her thoughts of what it would feel like when she thought about it a hundred times before. Harry pulled back, his gaze searingly hot on her eyes. “I’m done playing, kitten.”
--
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01zfan · 10 months ago
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not mine | j. sc
taken!sungchan x fem. reader | 5.9k words
i hope you guys like this! this is definitely the most angsty thing i’ve ever written.
contains: infidelity, reader is sungchan’s girlfriend’s friend, sungchan is in a toxic relationship, both of them know it’s wrong, unprotected sex (DONT BE LIKE THEM)
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you were a terrible friend. 
sungchan was an even worse boyfriend.
it had started out as something so innocent. you had a class with sungchan, ironically it was intro to chemistry. he wasn’t someone you could picture yourself getting close with. it wasn’t necessarily that he was out of your league or that you were out of his, it was just that you seemed like you two had nothing in common. you secretly dreaded going to class after seeing the partner assignments posted on the online classroom. your teacher said that it was ”completely randomized”, but it seemed like the god’s had it out for you. you were going to class knowing you had to spend the next hour and a half talking to sungchan. you hoped that chemistry would fill up the awkward gaps in the conversation and that time would go by quickly. it seemed like sungchan thought the same thing, already having everything ready to start the assignment by the time you sat at the table. when you set down your stuff he looked up and smiled at you.
“you’re my partner for this project, right?” sungchan said.
you nodded your head while bringing out your own things. the awkward atmosphere was unavoidable after you had finished setting up your things. sungchan was looking at you over the screen of your computer and you cleared your throat.
“should we take the time to introduce ourselves properly?” sungchan asked.
it was a fair question to say the least. you had been in the same class all semester, but you never got the chance to actually talk one on one. the closest you got to an. interaction with sungchan was an awkward socratic seminar where you both just nodded along to good arguments that were made.
when you both introduced eachother you found out you actually had alot in common. you both had common interests and filled your time in between classes doing the same things. you still remember the shock on sungchan’s face when he found out you two shared a niche interest. you’re sure you looked the same way as he did, wide eyed with raised eyebrows. you two spent a majority of the class just talking, having to be put back on track by the teachers aide.
you and sungchan walked to the library after class to work on the project. you still look back on this moment with such regret. maybe if you had taken the initiative to go to a place more secretive your friend would’ve never met sungchan. you were in the middle of discussing possible research topics when your friend called your name. it was so loud even sungchan turned around. you saw her walking towards you, but her eyes were only on sungchan. even though he didn’t belong to you in any sense of the word, you still felt something akin to jealousy run through your body. the feeling was amplified when your friend introduced herself to sungchan without giving you a second glance.
“i’ve never seen you around before.” your friend said.
sungchan looked to you and you looked off into the distance. he adjusted the backpack on his shoulder and gave your friend a smile.
“it is a big campus after all.” sungchan said with a smile.
your friend laughed a little too hard, and you were a little disgusted to see how much sungchan ate it up. 
before you could even get into the library your friend got sungchan’s number and had set up plans to hang out with him. jealousy flashed across your mind and you had to push it away. although you hated it more than anything, sungchan was not yours in any sense of the word. so you had no choice but to watch the scene unfold in front of you. 
your friend only acknowledged you while she was leaving, saying she will see you later. she had a pep in her step as she looked at her phone, texting something. seconds later you could feel your phone buzz in your hand. the message was short and sweet, the seven letters fitting in the message preview.
he’s mine.
“your friend is nice.” sungchan said.
you look at the text notification on your phone and scoff before putting it back into your pocket.
“yup.” you say curtly.
after you and sungchan were done with the project, you barely saw him. you were able to hear about him all the time, courtesy of your friend. she tells you about all the problems they are already having so early in the relationship. she tells you sungchan doesn’t know how to listen, that he’s a flirt, and too nice to other girls. you stopped trying to offer advice on their fights when your friend blew up at you for not taking her side. so you stuck to the role of the listener, nodding your head and giving half assed sounds to show you were paying attention. 
it wasn’t until a couple months later that you saw sungchan again. he came as your friend’s plus one to a gathering of your clique. they had broken up recently, something about your friend’s ex reaching out to her. every man in her life was a placeholder for her stupid ex, so you thought sungchan was free from her clutches. you don’t know why it was hard for you to pretend like you were unfazed seeing them together. there was a pang in your chest seeing sungchan go through the crowd following your friend. 
when sungchan saw you he had the biggest smile you had ever seen on him. you couldn’t help but smile back, waving at the person you missed seeing in class. you weren’t to sure why sungchan never came to your class anymore, but you were almost certain it had to do with your friend.
for the whole night you were stealing glances and sharing eye contact with him. your friend was stuck to his side the whole night, showing off her arm candy to everyone at the party. you assumed this was her way of launching the relationship, posting him on her story for the first time. you regretfully look back at the time you spent with sungchan and how you never made a move. you tried to comfort yourself by thinking he was a terrible boyfriend, something your friend had told you.
you didn’t get any time alone with sungchan until he came to you while you were making yourself a drink. he approached you with a big smile on his face, almost like he was happy to see you.
“long time no see.” sungchan said.
you looked up from the bar and you couldn’t help but smile at him too.
“you’re the one that never comes to class,” you said. “we did really good on our project, by the way.”
“i know. i moved to a different class so i can—it doesn’t really matter actually.” sungchan said.
you both sat there awkwardly, waiting for the conversation to flow the same way it did all those months ago. you weren’t sure if your friend told sungchan about you, if you knew about their tumultuous relationship. sungchan seemed to know something, because he suddenly leaned to whisper into your ear asking if he could talk to you in private.
when sungchan got you alone in the tiny bathroom, he said nothing. he looked everywhere but at you, trying to find out what he wanted to say. you thought about your friend outside, how upset she would be if she found you so close to sungchan. she left your mind as you looked at sungchan. you hated that he didn’t come to class anymore, depriving you of you favorite thing to look at in class. you would be lying if you wouldn’t look at sungchan’s back while the teacher droned on about chemical bonds and imagine what he looked like without his shirt off. it was juvenile, but it got you through the day. 
it only got worse after your project and sungchan’s absence in class made you miss him even more. without something to focus on your mind began to wander to filthier things, like what sounds he made or words he word say. being so close to him made you recall moments underneath your sheets where you pretended your fingers were his.
“i need to ask you something.” sungchan said.
you nodded your head towards sungchan, encouraging him to go on.
“why didn’t you tell me about her?” sungchan asked.
he looked sad as he explained to you how awful your friend was. all of the missing holes in her story suddenly made sense. you hated to admit you didn’t believe your friend, seeing how she acted in previous relationships. but now you saw how her toxicity effected sungchan directly. sungchan talked about her ex, how she cheated on him. you bit your tongue to stop yourself from asking why he went back. you knew that he didn’t have the answer and you knew your friend to be very charming when she had to be. 
“i’m sorry.” is all you could say after sungchan told you everything. 
i would never treat you that way threatened to slip past your lips but you stood your ground. sungchan looked at you expectantly, like he was wanting more before he got a text asking where he was. he snuck out of the bathroom and you downed the drink in your hand.
the rest of the gathering you spent drinking. you felt a deep regret for not being able to comfort sungchan, to say something more than sorry. there was no reason for you to be sorry. he had the chance to leave, it was his choice to stay. you ignored him for the rest of the party, watching your friend constantly leave the room to talk to someone on her phone. by then end of the night your friend had left to god knows where. you had assumed sungchan had left with her until you left. you found sungchan sitting outside on the stoop of the apartment building. 
when he saw you he got up suddenly, stumbling a little bit. he must’ve been drinking too.
“she had an early morning tomorrow, so she left.” sungchan said.
“she left you at this party where you don’t know anybody?” you asked.
“i know you. she told me you live in the same building as me so maybe we could catch a ride together?” sungchan asked.
“let’s do it.” you say.
you stand beside sungchan waiting for him to finish booking the ride on the phone. if he was waiting outside and was going to pay for it completely by himself he could’ve left a long time ago. you were never good at reading people, but sungchan was like an open book. you knew he was craving something tender and loving, intimacy that was lacking in his relationship. the alcohol in your system buzzed and receptors in your brain fired off when sungchan opened the car door for you.
you were in the backseat of the car together for only a moment before you scooted to the middle seat. you let your thighs touch sungchan’s before fully leaning into him. he stiffened beside you but didn’t move. when the car exited the parking he brought a hand to rest on your thigh.  you put your hand over his and looked at him. you found that sungchan was already looking at you, his eyes staring directly into yours. when the car got on the highway you took a gentle hand to his face and pulled him in for a kiss. the rest of the journey to the building his lips were on yours, sucking on your bottom lip as his hands pulled your face closer.
you two didn’t break apart until the driver stopped in front of your apartment building. you watched sungchan tip the driver extra and he followed behind you closely as you got into the elevator. 
you pressed the button to take you to the seventh floor. sungchan’s hand hesitated before pressing the number five. you couldn’t stop your heart from dropping.
“we shouldn’t.” sungchan whispered as the door closed.
“we really shouldn’t.” you agreed.
as the elevator took you up, you noticed sungchan getting closer to you. you slowly let him back you into a corner of the tiny space, your body leaned against the elevator walls. you looked up at the man in front of you, aware of how he towered over you. in any other situation you would’ve been scared, but there was something so soft about the way sungchan looked at you. 
the same hand that pulled you closer to him in the car came to rest on your face. sungchan swiped a thumb across your lip, still glossy from his spit.
“i’m a bad boyfriend.” sungchan whispered. 
the elevator door opened to the fifth floor. you and sungchan both watched the door to the elevator close before lifting both of you to the seventh floor.
that night sugnchan didn’t go to his room. he fucked you in the entry way of your room up against the wall, not even giving you a chance to make it to the bedroom. he moaned and bit your skin, telling you he wished it was you he ended up with. how he wished what he was doing didn’t feel so good. you let sungchan mark you and touch you the way he wanted, moaning in agreement to his words. you wished being a terrible friend felt bad, but all you felt was euphoria as sungchan had you pinned against the wall.
sungchan was strong but he was gentle, pressing kisses to your face as he slid in. he carried you to your bedroom and you rode him, telling him that he deserved good things in life too. when sungchan pulled you to the crook of his neck he let out a broken whine as he came inside of you. you clenched around him and he rubbed your clit until you did the same.
that night set the dynamic for your relationship. you had to set up rules and sungchan followed them with no complaints. he would do anything you told him as long as he got to come and see you. it became a part of your routine, getting a text from sungchan late in the night asking if he could come over. it got easier with time, lying to your friend. you saw it as karma for how terrible she was towards sungchan and towards you. you stopped thinking about her after a month, no longer trying to have revenge on your toxic friend. it became more about sungchan, trying to mend him back together with kisses and sex.
it was raining this time when sungchan came to you. he was soaking wet, caught in the torrential rain outside. you wanted to believe that he came here to see you, but the downcast look on his face and flower in his hand told you a different story. 
“can i come in?” sungchan asked you.
you don’t know why he continued to ask you questions like this, as if you could ever bring yourself to say no to him. you nodded your head and opened your door all the way, letting the man through.
he got water on your carpet as he took off his outer layer of clothes. sungchan stood in the entry way, waiting for you to tell him what to do. you remembered the clothes he left over at your place last time he visited.
“wait here i’ll get you a towel and clothes.” you said before walking away.
when your arrangement first started, you would always interrogate sungchan on what transpired when he’d show up at your door. sungchan would just shrug his shoulders and mutter the situation under his breath shamefully.
she’s seeing her ex again.
i was locked out.
we had a big argument.
she needed time to cool off.
after awhile you stopped asking sungchan for the details. the curiosity and worry used to eat away at you, seeing someone usually so happy close to tears. you thought you’d never see sungchan the way you saw him every late night he came to your door. you always wondered if she ever thought she was in the wrong. 
you stopped asking sungchan because you could see it physically pain him to talk about something with the wound so fresh. he would normally just tell you what happened while he had you bent over a table, or when he had your chest pressed against his. 
you knew that leading up to the sex, sungchan needed the tenderness that was absent in his real relationship. so you would wordlessly let him into your apartment, warm him up leftovers, and hand him clothes to change into. after everything, you two would snuggle on your couch together watching television. he would hold you so close and thank you profusely, gratitude you would wave off with a hand. you could tell that the moments you spent together healed him just enough to go back. you could also tell that sungchan was very grateful for everything, and he always made sure to give it back to you in bed. the night would always end with both of you just looking to the other and silently pleading. you would open the door for sungchan and he would kiss you deeply. it was the type of kiss that you thought was reserved for girlfriends only, the type of kiss that made you believe he didn’t want to leave you.
doing acts of service for sungchan always made you feel conflicted. when he was with you, couldn’t help but feel responsible for him in ways you couldn’t really comprehend. it started off with just sex. you were always determined to make him feel good like continuing to ride him even if your legs were burning from the exertion or taking in all of him even when you felt like you were being split open. maybe you looked at his face when he was in a state of bliss too much, maybe that’s what got you attached. since you and sungchan started your arrangement you found yourself thinking about him more and more. when he wasn’t around you hoped he was doing well, at night before you slept you would be thinking about him.
thinking about him so often made it hard to remember that he wasn’t yours. sungchan had you wanting to hold his hand at friend gatherings. you always came to your senses right at the last second. reaching out a hand to him you had to pull away quickly when your friend came from the other room. leaning against the wall instead of leaning against sungchan when she wasn’t looking. looking for sungchan’s face in the crowd while he followed closely behind his girlfriend. as time passed you got used to it. you knew that he was looking for your face in the crowd too. 
sungchan had his hand on the back of the couch, letting you curl into him and he traced patterns on your clothed shoulder. you two had found your own domestic routine, shrouded in infidelity. it’s all too much when you think about it for too long, that’s why you’re grateful when sungchan slightly squeezes your thigh. you look away from the tv show to him.
“i missed you.” sungchan says.
he pinches your cheek and you smile at the affection. he looked so handsome like this, with his hair slightly wet form the rain. before you knew it you were running your hands through his strands, turning your body to face him better.
“i missed you too.” you said.
sungchan leaned his head back as you continued to play with his hair. he smiled and he felt like his heart leaped out of his chest hearing that you missed him.
“how much did you miss me?” sungchan asks, eying you.
you are still playing with his hair trying to think of a quantity. you could tell him then and there that you wish he could be with you the same way he was with his girlfriend, and that you could treat him better. a million things rush through your mind, all of them being admissions of love. so instead of talking, you use your hands to hold sungchan’s face.
“you know i’m not good with words,” you look into his eyes before looking at his lips. “i can show you, though.”
a second doesn’t even pass before sungchan picks you up from the couch bridal style. you always laugh when he carries you like this, holding you like you’re nothing. 
he always took the time to set you gently on the bed, standing in front of you to take off his shirt. sungchan always made sure to show you how grateful he was, giving you a little show while he undressed himself. he knew you loved to gawk at his body. you dragged him to the edge of the bed by the waistband of his pants. you ran. a hand over his abs, hard underneath his soft skin. he was mesmerizing, you couldn’t understand how anybody could be mean to someone so beautiful.
“your body…” you said.
sungchan said nothing in response as his hands to the end of your shirt, helping you out of it. he threw it somewhere else in the room as he gently pushed your shoulders down until your back was on the bed. he helped you out of your pajama pants, leaving you only in your underwear. you move more to the center of the bed, giving sungchan the space to come lay next to you as he took his pants off. you lift the sheets and settle underneath them, lifting up the end for sungchand to slide in next to you.
sungchan liked taking off underwear underneath the sheets. you imagined he liked it because it was the most intimate that way, revealing all of yourself underneath the sheets. this wasn’t the way it was all the time though. sometimes sungchan would be extra pent up, desperate to the point that he would eat you out over your panties, or only push them to the side before fucking you. sometimes he would be a little mean, fucking into you while you grabbed onto anything for support. it was hard to decide what you preferred, the vanilla sungchan or the desperate kinky sungchan. no matter what you got, you were always satisfied.
after he got into the sheets next to you, sungchan’s hands immediately went to your hips. he guided you out of your panties and to rest above his body, dragging your heat against his clothed dick. he twitched and strained in his boxers feeling you, and you were sure you were getting slick on his boxers. you start grinding your hips into his as sungnchan lets his hands roam your body.
“i want you so bad.” sungchan says.
“you got me.” you say.
his hands go to the back of your bra to undo the clasp. you let your bra fall off of you, and sungchan’s hand goes to your breast. you try to raise your body from sungchan’s to get a better angle to grind on him, but a hand keeps you two chest to chest.
“want you close.” sungchan whines.
you keep grinding on him at a slow and grueling pace. you were getting impatient with want filling your brain. sungchan was a masochist in this way, making himself wait to fuck you until he couldn’t take it anymore. you’re sure it had something to do with the guilt of cheating on his girlfriend. you figured that when sungchan screwed his eyes shut as he dragged your hips against his that he was trying to convince himself to leave your apartment. maybe he was pretending that you were his girlfriend. these were the things you only wanted to think about when he wasn’t there, not wen his dick was pressed against you like this.
“sungchan.” you whimpered.
he opened his large doe eyes to look at you. you leaned into him closely, until your lips touched his ear.
“please fuck me.” you whispered.
sungchan lifted his hips to take off his underwear and you helped him push it off with your feet.
sungchan takes his dick in his hand and you grab it too. he has to close his eyes again to let out a content sigh. something about the way you touched him just felt so nice, something he wasn’t sure he deserved to experience. but every night you let him in, so he must have earned it somehow.
“i love when you hold it.” sungchan said. 
his voice was barely above a whisper, having to use all his effort to hold the moans back.
“you like it alot?” you said, giving his dick short pumps for emphasis.
sungchan nodded. he should really stop using the word love around you.
“i like it alot.” sungchan moaned.
“can i put it in baby?” you ask. 
your voice has become whiny too. sungchan uses his hand to quickly guide himself inside of you and pushes your hips down to take all of him. you are moaning into the crook of his neck as you slowly take all of him.
“you’re so tight.” sungchan says. ”should’ve fingered you first. i’m sorry.”
“don’t apologize. it feels so good.” you whimper.
knowing that you feel good goads sungchan on. he lets you adjust only for a moment before rocking his hips back into you, pulling his face away from yours to see your reaction. he can feel himself throbbing at the way you clench around him, the way your eyes close from the pleasure.
“just wanna make you feel good.” sungchan says. 
“you always make me feel good.” you say. 
you start moving your hips the same way sungchan moves his, meeting him in the middle. you bring a hand to rest on sungchan’s hand and he sighs.
sungchan can hear your bed creak under the weight and movement of your bodies. there were times sungchan would have your bed screaming for mercy, threatening to break underneath his harsh thrusts as he fucked you. he loved the sound of the harsh creaking, wearing it like a badge of honor. but he loved this sound move—light and constant like rain. 
sugnchan couldn’t comprehend why he felt so at peace rocking into you. he brought your head from his neck to rest your forehead against his. you opened your eyes to look at him and sungchan could see his reflection in your blown out pupils. the sight makes him desperate, it brings him closer to his euphoria.
“she doesn’t treat me like you do.” sungchan said. 
your eyes didn’t change as you processed what he said.
“i know.” you said simply. “harder. please.”
sungchan lets himself thrust into you a little harder, throwing off the tempo you both had fallen into. the soft creak of the bed changes to something a little harsher. sungchan’s large hand is placed over yours on his hip and he digs the pads of his fingers into your hip bone. sungchan hold your eye contact as your hips still.
“i wish you were mine.” sungchan moans between his thrusts.
you clench around him and you cry out. you don’t know if it’s from his confession, the spot he hit, or a mixtue of both. regardless, it has you digging your nails into sungchan’s skin as a tear falls on his face.
“i wish you were, too.” you confess.
you start moving your hips again
“i would leave her if it meant i could have you.”
you shake your head at his words. you’re too close, too emotional to hear things sungchan might just be saying because he’s horny and lonely. you know that this ends with him going back until next time. so you grab a handful of his hair and tug lightly. you know sungchan loves the pain by the way he pulses inside of you.
“don’t think about her, just me.” you say breathlessly into his ear. you wished that what you said came off as jealousy. but both you and sungchan know that you are the one who occupies his mind. “cum for me, sungchan.” 
you swear you hear sungchan say i love you as he releases inside of you. he holds you tight. as he takes the lead fucking into you, his teeth biting into your sweaty skin. you have to grip the sheets beside sungchan’s head to steady yourself as he fucks you deep and hard. his thrusts and whines of your name has you cumming too. sungchan fucks you well after his orgasm, making sure you can feel the same pleasure he felt. you can’t stop yourself from kissing his forehead after breaking apart from his lips. you kiss the hair that sticks to his forehead from the sweat and the apple of his cheeks. you kiss his teeth as his pulls of of you, and he brings you into a passionate kiss as you feel him seeping out of you. 
sungchan keeps you on top of him, loving how he feels underneath your weight. you’re comforting and warm surrounding him completely. he doesn’t have any regrets about telling you he loves you, only that he wishes he said it louder so you could’ve heard it. maybe next time he will say it to you while you still have your clothes on. maybe he would tell you after taking you out on a proper date. sungchan wants to hold you there forever, he wants to cry when you slide your sticky body off of his to lay in the bed beside him.
laying there in silence with sungchan was too comforting. although your breath had settled back to its normal pace your heart was hammering in your chest. you thought it would burst if you continued to think about his offer just as you started thinking about sungchan’s offer snd how warm his hand was when he grabbed yours. you had to constantly tell yourself that you held sungchan’s hand for his benefit alone. you told yourself that he needed the innocent contact and the intimacy that came with it. you told yourself that he needed you to grip his hand a little tighter, that he needed you to turn to your side to look him in the eyes. you told yourself these lies to rationalize why you delicately brush his hair out of his face and why you scoot closer to him. 
you think about his offer again, how this could be your view every night. you would never put him through the emotional turmoil your friend put him through. maybe sungchan could be the thing that finally pushed you to cut her off completely. you could only imagine the rumors she would spread about you. it was hard to think it wouldn’t be worth it when sungchan brought you into his chest.
sungchan’s phone went off and you instinctively freed yourself from his embrace. as you sat up on the bed letting your legs dangle over the side you could feel sungchan’s eyes bore holes into your skin. the phone continued to ring. you put on your most comforting voice before looking over your shoulder at him.
“you can answer it. i don’t mind.”
sungchan doesn’t do anything but sigh before reaching to the bedside table.
“hey.” sungchan says quietly into the phone. 
the happiness in his voice was completely gone and the tender atmosphere in your room vanished. it suddenly felt so cold and sungchan felt so far away from you. 
you could hear the dull murmur of your friend on the other end of the line. you weren’t sure what she was saying exactly, but you could get the gist through sungchan’s responses.
where are you?
sungchan looked at you before turning away to focus on the phone call.
“i’m at eunseok’s.” sungchan said.
you got up from the bed to put on the rest of your clothes. you were as quiet as you possibly could be, trying not to make any sounds that would be picked up by the phone.
why is your location off?
“where else would i go?” sungchan asked.��
he looked at you as he asked the question. you held eye contact for a split second before pulling your pants up your legs.
are you ready to apologize yet?
“we aren’t going to talk about what happened first?”
you aren’t sure what your friend said next. all you know is that sungchan pulled the phone away from his ear to grimace. you could hear your friend got louder over the phone, the speakers peaking from the yelling. 
you couldn’t stand to see sungchan so distressed so you left the room. you walked into the living room, picking up clothes that were strewn around in the heat of the moment. you took sungchan’s clothes out of the dryer, gathering his shirt and pants in your hands to bring it back to him. 
you don’t know what was said after you left your bedroom, but you came back to sungchan gathering his things. you handed him his clothes, trying to seem as indifferent as possible. 
“we are going to talk it out.” sungchan said.
“that’s good.” you said.
the notion that sungchan would inevitably go back always made moments like these awkward. where he would change out of his clothes and you had to think up a question to make it seem like your friend was being rational. you started choosing silence, just telling sungchan what he needed to hear to go back to her.
sungchan got dressed and left your bedroom. you followed behind him, staring at his back as you two went through your routine. he gathered the remainder of his things, slipping his phone into his back pocket and taking his keys off your command center. he would look at you with his puppy dog eyes, silently begging you to tell him to stay. you looked at him back the same way, silently begging him to do what he wants.
something felt different when you opened the door for sungchan this time. sungchan lingered a little longer in your door way, looking at your ball up fists at your side. you looked at him too, wondering what was going to happen next. you thought you were going to draw blood from your nails digging into your palms. the tension was undecipherable and thick, making your mind hazy. 
you mind was cleared when sungchan closed the distance between the two of you. he kissed you desperately, and you reciprocated. your movements were even hastier than his, fisting the fabric of his white tee and leaning back so he was towering over you. sungchan wrapped his arms around your back and brought you closer.
you still had your lips puckered when sungchan pulled away from you. he looked down at you, adoration all over his face. his hands that wrapped around were moved to enclose your hands. he brought them to his face before kissing the back of your hands. sungchan looked scared, going over something in his mind a million times.
“can i stay here with you tonight?” sungchan asked.
you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening. his grip on his hands only tightened and you understood how nervous he felt. that’s why you immediately squeezed his hands back and nodded. sungchan pulled you into another kiss, this time slow and passionate. you closed the door and smiled into the kiss.
you were a bad friend.
sungchan was an even worse ex-boyfriend.
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oracle-of-dream · 8 months ago
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Submissive and huh?
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Minors DNI
Summary: Your friend Taerae recently learned a new term and wants your thoughts. Explaining it might help him understand properly, but do you have the strength to tell him.
Warnings: Male Reader, Idol Taerae, Student Reader, Lewd faces/Ahegao, Mention of arousal and breeding
Wordcount: 1.2k
Math classes had been kicking your ass all semester and tutoring from the professor wasn't working out. You'd ended up being assigned a study partner. The program was meant for students struggling with the class to help each other. That's how you met Taerae. 
He didn't originally introduce himself as an idol, especially since it was an online class. No one had seen his face. But when you met up with him for the first time to study together, you instantly recognized him from TV. You hit it off over a shared hate for math and spent more time together outside class.
He'd complain about his idol life issues and you'd give him any notes from class he'd missed.
You'd just gotten home from a late-night study session at the library. As if it knew, your phone lit up with a text as you sat on your bed.
TR: Yo! Y/N, I met some fans while out with the members today!
YN: Cool. Don't you meet fans wherever you go?
TR: Well these stuck out!
YN: How?
TR: Well, I noticed them, a bunch of guys, giggling in the convenience store and pointing at me and Hao while we were shopping. I didn't want to embarrass them so I just played it cool and ignored them. But then they came up to me!
YN: Okay, some brave fans? That's it?
TR: Just wait a sec! 
TR: They came to me and told me they were fans. But more specifically, MY fans! Of course, I was happy to hear, but they were foreigners because they used a term I didn’t know.
YN: What term?
TR: Submissive and Breedable?
TR: I know what submissive means, they mean I'm not an aggressive person. That's not entirely true, but I'm submissive at times.
You looked at your phone, blinking a few times. Some "fans" dared to say that!?
TR: I can't find anything when I look it up, it's probably slang, right?
Maybe telling him that his fans want to breed him wasn't the best thing to tell your friend. He was just too wholesome for that.
YN: Yeah, it is, but it's not something cool. No one says it really, it's not the trend anymore.
TR: Really? I know trends, I'm not old, but I haven’t heard of that.
YN: See? There's no reason to worry, just fans being weird.
TR: Well, the photo they wanted was also...off.
YN: Off how?
TR: They wanted me to stick my tongue out and look up at the camera, which was super high above me. To be honest–it felt a little embarrassing to pose like that.
You shook your head trying not to imagine his cute self making lewd faces for a group of boys, but it was hard. And so were you.
YN: You should be more careful, they could use photos like that weirdly.
TR: What do you mean?
YN: Let's drop it. Subject change, what are you doing now?
TR: I'm getting ready for bed, I just got under the covers.
You looked at the clock, midnight was on its face.
YN: Oh shit, I didn't even realize. You should sleep!
TR: No, no, I'm pretty awake. Plus, it's nice talking to you. Did you want to video call while you get ready for bed?
You’d done it before, talking on video call into the night, but it was always a little like Taerae just wanted to see you.
YN: Sure, I'll call you.
You pressed the video call button on your phone. It showed your reflection as you waited, automatically you straightened your hair a little and kicked some stuff on the floor out of frame.
Taerae answered the phone with a smile, the camera close to his face.
You laughed as you set your phone on your desk, "Well hello to you too, why so close?"
"No reason, I just want to see you closely."
"Well, I can see you so closely I can count your pores," You scoffed as you went into your closet to find pajamas for the night.
"Is it weird I'm holding it so close?"
"A little, but it's no big deal. If you don't wanna show yourself then why'd you wanna video call?"
Taerae didn't answer.
"Are you still thinking about what those guys said?"
He shuffled in bed, "Mmhm."
"I promise it's nothing bad."
"Then why don't you just tell me?"
You sighed, "Okay, fine, I'll spill."
Taerae's eyes peered curiously at the camera as he waited for you to come out of your closet. You settled on wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and shorts. You returned to find Taerae's eyes filled with impatience.
You swallowed awkwardly, "You already know what the submissive part means, but the other part..."
"Breedable," Taerae reminded you.
"Yeah–It means," You struggled to find a good way to break it to him with that look in his eyes. So full of trust and purity. "It means, they wanna do it with you."
Taerae's expression dropped into surprise, "Oh, that's it? I read about that kind of stuff of fans wanting me to have sex with them. That's not so bad."
"Well, breedable means, specifically where you'd be the one getting fucked. Likely by a man. Who wants to... finish in you."
You couldn't bring yourself to look at the screen to see his expression. He'd fallen silent, thinking of a response. It felt like ten minutes passed until he broke the silence.
Taerae's voice was deep and serious, "Y/n."
"Yeah?"
"Look at the screen." You looked at the screen to see Taerae in bed, holding the camera above him to show off his shirtless torso that was mostly covered by the bed sheet except for his collarbone and neck. "Am I breedable right now?"
You felt warm in your face as you answered, "Yeah, I-I guess."
"Submissive, too?"
"Sure," You said as you looked down at your hands.
"Yes or no! Sure isn't good enough, and look at me!"
You complied, looking at him. He smiled before making a face; his eyes looking up at the camera as he stuck out his tongue and held up a peace sign with his other hand.
"Jesus, Taerae!" You looked away quickly. Your heart was in your ears, pounding as the image of sweet Taerae's lewd face was plastered behind your eyelids.
He laughed loudly. "I am, aren't I? Submissive and breedable. I take it as a compliment, they like me that much! To be honest, you look all shy... You look a little submissive too."
You moved your phone so he couldn't see you anymore.
"I was kidding! Don't hide from me!" Taerae's muffled voice shouted from the speaker of your phone. 
After you calmed down, you turned your phone back over to see him still there. Still shirtless, and holding his phone at the same seductive angle.
"You're so weird!" You yelled at Taerae, who just giggled.
"And you still like me anyway. Even with all my breedable energy."
"I'm going to hang up–"
"What!? We gotta see you do the pose too, what if you're more breedable than me, we should test how–"
You cut him off as you pressed the red dial button. You turned your phone off before he could call you again. You lay in bed, alone in the dark, thinking about Taerae's face.
And in the privacy of your home, you test if you can also feel submissive and breedable, making Taerae's new iconic look. A secret he'll never know about... As if you didn't already have a big secret.
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solarpunkani · 1 year ago
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hi would like to make this clear that this is gonna be an unhinged rant about my college classes.
For context, one of my classes is a semester-long group project (hell) and I pitched the idea of solar powered community fridges to my group and we rolled with it. Here's a post i made on it previously. We don't have to make the fridges themselves, basically just talk about the problem our concept addresses (food insecurity in this case) and how we think this concept would work and how, in a hypothetical reality where we made it real, we would test to see if it worked.
Anyways we had to post the rough draft of our presentations so people in other groups could see what we were doing and comment on them with their thoughts and all. Yknow. Classic 'college class discussion board have to reply to at least one project with quality feedback' stuff. And
Man.
I am so frustrated.
Highlights:
My group keeps insisting that we should have an app for the solar fridges. I don't know why they think app design needs to fit into community fridges but they put it into the draft posted to the forum.
In this case they proposed the app would be kinda like Instacart? Where people who want to donate to the fridges but don't have groceries on them and don't feel like going to get groceries can put in money and then people will then go buy the groceries to put in the fridge. Or use the funds to help with fridge maintenance. And the fridges would have 'QR codes, links, etc. to connect community members for the common cause of helping tackle food insecurity in the community.'
Lots of the comments were pretty good! People liked the idea. There were some concerns about insulation and keeping things cool with low energy cost (the program is online but the college itself is in Georgia USA so many people are in Georgia) but yknow.
But the frustrating part to me I guess is that a lot of people seem convinced that people would use the fridges 'unfairly' and that we'd need to find a way to restrict how much food people can take out or how many times they can use it or something. Which frankly in my opinion defeats the purpose of it being a community fridge. Here are some examples of things people have said so far (comments are due tomorrow evening but I'm mad now so I'm venting now):
One student said "How will you know if the pantry is being utilized fairly?" and "How will the app work? In a dream world, this might be a way to help with tracking and accountability. (Just a thought…) Maybe folks would need to sign up on the app, they get a code… and the fridge acts as a sort of vending machine to deliver what they need. This would give you data to measure success. :)"
Which. I just. This feels completely antithetical to the purpose of a community fridge??? Or a community anything???? Little free pantries and little free libraries don't operate on a 'you get a code to access it once' vending machine basis?? We even mentioned community farm stalls/community pantries in the draft write up! And showed examples!
Another student said "Great thoughts. I am concerned about one person taking all the food for themselves. It might be a great idea to have them in an enclosed area with access control through the app that would log and lock out people who are overusing the resource. Perhaps a barcode could be added to Apple Wallet to track each individual's arrival? Possibly having a mechanized lock and opening mechanism that would only allow each fridge to be open for a specific time before automatically closing and locking? Each scan would only allow access once each 24-48 hour period, preventing "password sharing.""
I cannot emphasize enough that this is the comment that has brought me here today because with all due respect what the flying fuck do you think is the point of a community fridge! I'm already prickly about the idea of limiting access to the fridge itself to only people with cellphones, but to this degree?! Like maybe its because I'm the one who came up with the concept and I care about terms like 'mutual aid' and 'community building' and 'judgement free accessibility to food' but have these people not heard of the concept of helping people?!?! With no strings attached?!? If someone takes all the contents of a community fridge or pantry--which, seriously, how likely is that--they're probably hungry and need it! The concept of putting community resources behind a lock and limiting accessibility is just repulsive to me???
Like someone else commented with this excellent point--"As several have addressed above, I am also wondering how would you monitor use? If you use the simplicity of the honor system, it could easily be taken advantage of. However, I feel like if you were to create some sort of access code, how is it to say that they people needing the use of the fridge will have access to the necessary technology to get the code? It's a tricky situation to think about." For the purposes of this hypothetical assignment where we'd need to track how many people are using the fridges? Yeah I guess we'd need to be able to track how many people use it and when. But in reality??? In real life reality where people are living and struggling and hungry??? I just don't really give a shit!! Helping five people is better than helping none, and locking access behind technology everyone pretends is universal but really isn't is not the way to help!
And of course one of my groupmates is already commenting on all these posts like 'oh! I really like the idea of restricting access to a code! :)' even when someone said 'hey my family struggled with food insecurity when I was a kid and I think this would be helpful but not if you could only access it with an app some of the most vulnerable citizens wouldn't be able to access it I wouldn't have been able to access it' my groupmate was still like 'oh but that wouldn't be a problem today now would it? :) Maybe we should make a way to get a code without downloading the app :)' like maybe there shouldn't be an access code in the first place?!?!
Like am I crazy or like. What the fuck. Again I am here so I don't blow up on a bunch of masters students in a discussion post but like UGH
"you gotta be able to gague if the people who're using it are the people who actually need it" food insecurity can look so many different ways for so many different reasons and you can't always judge by appearances and income levels who is struggling to feed themselves or their families!! There are people who have nice jobs who are struggling because they're caring for sick family members or kids or dealing with student loans or ANYTHING! There are people with nice clothes who are trying to decide between buying groceries and paying rent! There are people living in their cars or couch surfing looking for jobs who also happen to own an XBox or a Laptop!!! "Sorry you can't access the community fridge because you don't look poor and needy enough to me. but if you do, good news--you can only use it once every 48 hours so make it last!" Bullshit utter bullshit.
I talk to people in my life about things like community fridges and little free pantries and mutual aid and the like and people are always like 'ok but theres gotta be strings attatched' BUT ACTUALLY NO THERE DON'T GOTTA!!! Maybe we could change how we view our fellow human beings and stop assuming that everyone around you are greedy little demons looking to ruin everything good and that you are the only holy and righteous saint on the streets who understands the concept of 'community resources' and 'sharing' maybe??? It's like that post about community fruit trees where people are like 'oh but what if people steal all the fruit' like HELLO? how do you STEAL a PUBLICALLY ACCESSIBLE RESOURCE
I'm tired of this goddamn class I'm tired of this goddamn group project if anyone actually has the ability to make a solar powered community fridge you have to promise to keep it accessible and not put it behind locks and QR codes and limited access and facial tracking BS promise me promise me promise me
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banj0possum · 1 year ago
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DRE DRE OMG DRE!:O
I JUST HAB THE GREATEST IDEA OF ALL TIME DRE!
So, so I was thinking at like 1:33 am cuz ye, and I thought,
WHAT IF THE READER, HAD LIKE, A DISABILITY , AND IT CAUSED THEM TO LIKE NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND MUCH, AND AND THEY FEEL USELESS, SO THEYRE LOVER COMES IN, AND IS LIKE” u know ily right?” OUT OF NO WHERE, AND IT MAKES THEIR DAY???
I mean you dnt have 2, but it would still be like so cool:3
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*me running at Usain Bolt speed in order to get away from sleep cuz insomnia helps brain go brr*
But have to sleep so go night night>:(
Yanderes x Disabled!Reader w/ a Mobility Disability
My OCs x Disabled!GN Reader
yall have no idea how long I've wanted to write this *sobbing*
CW: Adrian is stupid and ignorant a little, mentioned kidnapping themes, stalking, theyre a little bit too caring for you..
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Adrian doesn't use your disability to make fun of you, he's an asshole not a monster. But he is painfully ignorant of things when it comes to people with disabilities. Prepare to be asked a lot of shallow and sort of weird questions, not because he's judging you, but because he wants to learn more about you and maybe learn how to take care of you once you two get married and live together. He'd ask in random times "So why do you use a wheelchair?" "Can you piss correctly?" and a plethora of other things. If you use a wheelchair, he'd insist, no, demand that he'd push for you, he doesn't give a real reason for it other than "Your arms will get tired." If you're an amputee, he'd secretly save and steal money in order to buy you prosthetics if you ever showed your desire for one to him. He honestly doesn't care if you feel useless, you're his and he loves you and no matter what you think, he will always be there for you. "Are you fucking kidding me? You went to the library all by yourself yesterday! You played with those kids in the playground, and you carried that group presentation in math class! You're not useless, you dumbass, you're amazing!"
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Brandon, despite how ditsy he is, researches a lot about your disability, how to take care of a person with your disability and stuff that could improve your mobility. It's his duty as your boyfriend to give you the best care possible! As much as he loves to take care of you, he knows for sure you're able to do things yourself, he helps you with physical therapy if you ever need it. Being the star player of the lead team has its financial benefits too, so if there's something you found online that could help with your mobility, he's definitely buying it for you immediately!! There are times when you feel insecure about your disability but he's always there to give you lots and lots of reassurance and love! But to be honest, his way of cheering you up sounds more like a pep talk more than comfort, but it's his way of cheering you up :) "Who cares if you're not like other people? You're awesome and never forget that, with or without a disability!"
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Valeth, I shit you not, is taking away your wheelchair, your crutches, your prosthetic limbs, anything you need to move around on your own. He doesn't want you being able to escape his house and tell the authorities about him. Besides, why need those when you have him to carry you around and spoil you rotten with gifts and affection? If you let, him, he'll kiss the parts of your body that are affected by your disability, your legs, your arms, your amputated limbs, he wants to remind you how much he loves you despite your immobility. He'll whisper how much he loves you every night or when you feel sad. "You're perfect my little duckling, so so beautiful..."
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The Horde is keeping you in your bunker 24/7 unless you tell them you want to get out, but even then, they're right by your side the entire time. Bo is in charge with making sure you're never in pain or discomfort, physically and emotionally. "You're so beautiful darlin'..I wouldn't change a thing about your pretty little self~.." Screw rummages around the mall to find anything to help you move around like items from the medical areas. "I found this..uhm..do you like it?" Soda and Ribs don't really understand but they love you either way, regardless of your body. Ribs might steal your prosthetics or crutches though; you have to pry them out of his mouth like a dog that doesn't want to give up a stick.
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Wolfie thinks you're hurt and whines whenever he sees you struggling of sad, he licks the places of your body that are 'hurting'. Even when you reassure him that you're ok, he won't let go, he needs to make sure his little mate is ok! Forget wheelchairs, or crutches or prosthetics, he'll let you ride on his back, anywhere you want! Just give him lots and lots of pets and scratchies, good boy deserves it!
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Dorik is your loyal servant and will help you whenever you need anything. Oh, your wheelchair is folded up and you need help setting it up? Nonsense! He can carry you anywhere you want! Prosthetic limb nowhere to be found? Just stay in bed, he'll take care of it! Found out he's been hiding all your stuff so you depend on him and only him?...nuh uh.. and if you ever feel down, he'll be right there cuddling you and whispering sweet kinda creepy things to you. "You're my little angel, master~ A fragile mortal like you should be cared for with a gentleness of a thousand silks~!"
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Kalva forges high and low for anything that can help you. while he does enjoy keeping you nice and safe in the nest, you need some sunlight! He gives you branches, sticks, rope, anything you need to help you move around even just a little bit. With his nest building abilities, he would make you a prosthetic limb or cane for you. If you're a wheelchair user, he can just lift you up and prop you outside with him while he preens you. He might not know what's wrong but he tries his best to make you feel better. "My mate is so lovely, my lovely lovely mate! So pretty and cute!"
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Jasper can't help but be much more protective of you. He knows you can do stuff on your own, but he thinks as your best friend and future lover he needs to take care of you. He'd gladly be your caretaker if you ever need one, but he beats himself up for not accepting that you know how to handle yourself. Please let him draw and paint on your prosthetics or wheelchair! If you don't want anyone to touch your stuff, that's ok with him, but that won't stop him from making little artworks for you, like tiny paper stars with cute doodles drawn over it. If ever you feel sad, he has a nice cozy room, a weighted blanket, hot chocolate and his cat to comfort you. He's not the type to give pep talks, but he's a good cuddler.. "It's ok to feel sad, baby~..let's just lie down together alright?"
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Silas, Viktor and Garrick pester you every day to just let them turn you. You could be in unbearable pain, and you still refuse to be a vampire??? You could just have a minor limp or amputated leg and they're blowing your disability out of proportion, comparing you to a fragile porcelain doll. Imagine how much better you'll feel when you can no longer feel pain! Or when you have the ability to walk properly! It bugs you, it even makes you feel worse. If they go too far, they quiet down and sulk like sad puppies, whining and begging you to forgive them. They're sorry they took it too far..they just wanted you to be happier and healthier... "We're sorry darling, we just want you safe is all.." "Indeed my dove~ but we love you either way~!" "So cute and so fragile~! I don't know what's up with those two, but I wouldn't change a thing baby~!"
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Baron is always there for you, you dont even need your wheelchair or crutches anymore with how much he takes care of your needs. He says it's all part of his job but you don't really think making adorable little snacks for you is part of it.. looking at the little orange slices shaped like snails and cookies decorated to look like cats on your tray, you wonder if his doting is really his duty or if he just really wanted to take care of you.. Apart from that, he often watches as you look in the mirror and just frown. He gets up and checks how you're feeling as if a switch activated in his brain when he saw your sweet sad eyes. He can't bear seeing you so insecure when you're the most amazing person he's ever met.. "Boss, I don't care what you or others think, you are wonderful and worth regardless of your disability. In fact, it makes you even more admirable.."
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Caspian can relate to immobility. Out of water, he's more or less paralyzed from the waist down because of the weight of his tail, so you two hang out and joke about it together. He helps you cope by giving you someone to see yourself in. He daydreams about one day using some kind of magic to give you a fish tail so you can live in the ocean together like a happy couple. Sometimes he brings you to the shore of the cave you live in so you can soak your feet in the water while he sings for you. "My beautiful treasure~ your body does not define you. I see your soul, your heart, and it is beautiful~.."
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Hallow just sees it as an excuse to keep you locked up. He baby-proofs everything so you don't accidentally bump into something and get hurt. Yes, he takes away your wheelchair or prosthetics when you disobey him. He's a menace but he makes up for it by caring so much for you, you don't even have to lift a finger. If you're good, he gives your stuff back, all of them decorated with stickers and doodles all over it, mostly hearts and flowers. If ever you feel insecure, he coils around you in a warm hug and kisses you all over, you're not getting out until he hears a giggle come out of you. "My doll~ my darling~ my love~ my pretty little toy~ so cute~ so small~ your body is perfect~ just the way it is~!"
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Ashvan is on high alert 24/7, what if you get hurt? Or someone knocks you over and you can't get up? What if you can't move in a dangerous situation??? Stairs?!?!? He's absolutely panicking over you, but you being a cleric, you can simply use magic to get around. He knows full well that you can look after yourself but he can't help but linger around wherever you are to make sure you're ok, especially in fights. He's never far from you, acting like your defense as you heal the other members of the clan. He may or may not watch you sleep. Just being there for you! On days when you're not so confident in your abilities, he comes up to you with flowers he picked so he could hopefully make you smile again. "H-hi there! u-uhm..I-I picked these for you! heheh..uhm..g-good job during that battle! You were uhm..amazing..~"
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user9298274001127482 · 10 days ago
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Following Me
pairing: bf!matt x gf!reader!collegestudent
warnings: protective bf matt, blood, slight angst??, mainly fluff
a one-shot where matt’s gf y/n starts getting followed at her college by a bunch of his fans after revealing their relationship on social media
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It had been a few months since you and Matt had launched your relationship publicly, a year and a half since you had got together and 3 years since you’ve known each other.
Most of the fans already knew you when you were friends with Matt and his brothers but they didn’t care about you enough to notice you in public. However, when it was known that the two of you were dating everyone was suddenly obsessed with you and asking for pictures on the street.
Majority of his fans approved of your relationship and adored you but a few of them despised you for god knows what. You weren’t an influencer like Matt but you had a few hundred thousand followers from your relationship with him.
You were studying a business degree in your university and were currently in your second year. The college library was always your favourite place to go and study during free time between or before classes, it was always quiet and peaceful and you could focus and relax.
But these past few months people have been taking pictures of you at the library and uploading them online. You would never see someone actually take the picture during the moment but you would see the pictures being posted on instagram and TikTok a few hours later.
You didn’t tell Matt but you were sure he’d already seen them, every day you would scroll on instagram and out of the blue you would see a picture of you sitting at the library, airpods in, notebook infront of you, macbook open and an iced coffee in your hand. The library was no lonher your relaxing study area.
You wanted to tell Matt but what could he do about it??
The Next Day
Your classes had just finished and it was around 3pm and you didn’t have any plans for the day so you decided to go to the library to study for a few hours and maybe catch one of the multiple people taking pictures of you.
You go and sit down at your usual table and start rewriting your notes. All of a sudden you hear a camera click and turn to see a guy from your college taking a picture of you. You shoot him a dirty look but from the corner of your eye you see more phones held up. More people taking pictures.
There are currently 5 people taking pictures of you thinking that you don’t notice. You immediately pack up your stuff and text Matt.
Matt ❤️
| Hi Matt can you please meet me at the cafe near my college there are people taking pictures of me and Idk what do
| Oh my wtf I’m at a nearby gas station I’ll be right there don’t worry
You speed walk out of the campus and down the street to the cafe, your breaths quickening as you keep turning your head to see the 2 guys from college following you. They both try to act normal like they aren’t following you but you know they are. You see Matt’s car park into the parking infront of the cafe. Your speed quickens as he steps out of the car and waits for you on the sidewalk.
The two guys are still a few meters behind you so you have a few seconds to talk to Matt before they catch up to you. “Matt those guys behind us are following me and they were taking pictures of me at the library do something please” you blurt out while holding his hand. Matt looks furious. How could he not do something? His girlfriend was getting followed by some creeps, it was almost as if he felt guilty. Like it was his fault.
The guys catch up and one of them just happens to have to tie his shoelace right next to you while the other guy waits. You give Matt another look, unsure if he was gonna do something or not. “Can you guys stop fucking following y/n?” He raises his voice to the guys. “No we- I don’t know- I-“ “Don’t fucking lie I know you’ve been taking pictures of her on campus your making her uncomfortable and I don’t like seeing guys being obsessed with my girlfriend” Matt yells back.
Your gaze goes back and forth from the two guys and Matt. You had never seen him so angry and so protective over you. “What are you gonna do if we keep following her huh?” “Yeah r u gonna get your other triplet brothers on us” the guys mock as they step closer to Matt. Matt glares at them as they step closer. “Oh look the ‘famous youtuber’ can’t even defend himse-“punch. Matt had punched one of them right in the face and given him a blood nose.
Before anyone had time to react you see Matt’s large fist in the air again and land right onto the second guys face giving him a nasty black eye. “What the fuck” one of the guys says while the other is too busy wiping the blood from his nose on his t-shirt. “Matt you didn’t have to-“ “Y/n stop, I did what I had to alright” Matt says gently but seriously while grabbing my hand and leading me to the passenger side of his car and opening the door.
He gets into the drivers seat. “I know me fucking attacking guys on the street isn’t a good image for me and my brothers career but I had to defend you alright. If anyone is making you uncomfortable or hurting you or anything, I’m always gonna do something okay? You’re my girlfriend, I love you more than anything” Matt softly says holding your hand while looking down at his feet. Matt’s words just make your heart melt. “Oh Matt, I love you too, so much and I’m so grateful for you. Thank you” you tell him while peppering his cheek in kisses as you watch his face go red from blushing at your sweet words.
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exchangestudentnova · 1 year ago
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Honestly have been having platonic yandere vampire au brainrot for the obey me brothers for so long....just a bunch of vampires looking at a human and just going "yup. You're coven now." And turning them whether they want to or not....
Oh vampire au! I don't think much about this particular au, but it's fun to write about.
Covens: Families or unrelated groups of vampires who live together.
Yandere!Vampire!Brothers who are very protective of the new human exchange student. They must protect the poor fragile human from the lesser vampires. Should any harm come to the human, they'll be answerable to Diavolo. They'll control their urge to suck out your blood, no matter how painful it be.
Yandere!Vampire!Lucifer who wishes to spend all his time with you, and as a result, makes you do your RAD homework in his room while he looks at you from his desk, under the pretext of 'keeping an eye on you'. He will ask you to prick the tip of your finger and put a drop of your blood in his teacup, just enough to enhance the flavour of his tea.
Yandere!Vampire!Mammon who is so sweet and clingly towards you, always sitting close to you in the class, walking you home to after school, wanting to take you out shopping as soon as he gets goldie again. What? He adores you so much! He'll accompany you everywhere he can because he doesn't think you can protect yourself from the lesser vampires. Just don't let his hand go okay? He will keep you safe!
Yandere!Vampire!Leviathan who is grateful for a friend who actually listens to him! He tries to keep your attention focused on him by engaging you in his video games, keeping you cooped up in his room by pulling all nighters watching anime and TSL. Whenever he mentions being thirsty you rush out to get him some water, but he wasn't referring to water now was he? You'll surely let him have a sip if he asks nicely right?
Yandere!Vampire!Satan who helps you out when you're in need. Your task is to write about vampire as a human being? Don't worry, he's there to help you. Let's study about the basis anatomy of a vampire first? Hours and hours spent in the library or his room, your nose buried in the books, while he relishes in your presence. He'll delibrately pick books written in ancient script so you're forced to take his help in deciphering them or he'll delibrately select books with sharper edges so that he gets to enjoy a little treat after you leave.
Yandere!Vampire!Asmodeus who can't help but drown himself in your affection. The online account he made for you has already reached millions of followers, thanks to yours truly. The two of you spend time filming videos to post and do online challenges together. Many people compliment the new blush he's wearing, asking him the brand name. He just smiles sweetly and he tells them "it's one of a kind". The blush being your blood stored in his little compact case.
Yandere!Vampire!Beelzebub who is worried the most out of all the brothers about your safety. Everyday he feels like he lost Lilith yesterday, but now that you're here, he wants to make sure he never repeats that mistake again. He'll hog you as much as he can and will definitely put you on a training routine to make you strong. He will purposefully stuff his mouth with more food when you're around, he really don't wanna hurt you.
Yandere!Vampire!Belphegor who bares his teeth when someone tries to wake him from his sleep, but if it's you then it is replaced with a gentle smile, persuading you to join him instead. Before he used to hang around the planetarium and the attic, but now he can be found dozing in your bed. He will ask you to cuddle up to him everynight, even invites Beel from time to time. Sleeps with a part of his pillow in his mouth, should his vampiric urges take control in his sleep.
Yandere!Vampire!Brothers who are shocked by the news of your return to the human world. You have completed your year as an exchange student, now you must return home.
"But can't you just stay here? With us? We will protect you from any and all danger, so don't leave, there is no reason to go back" Mammon's voice had a lining of desperation that the others sitting in the room could catch on. All the brother where gathered in the living room to convince you to stay. "It was nice spending time with each one of you, but the presence of a human for too long might upset the natural balance. Plus I have a family I have to go back to" That's it! A family!
Yandere!Vampire!Brothers who pursuade you to become a vampire, then you can be a part of their family right? They can always get another human for the exchange program, but you, no, you're special. You will live with them as a vampire if you can't as a human. You'll not be taking the place of Lilith, no one can, but you've made your own and you'll be a part of their coven. What? You refuse? It's okay, supper's almost ready and the sleeping power should be kept here somewhere......well you don't have to worry, they will take care of everything. From the transition to the struggle of containing one's lust for blood, they'll be there with you at every step of the way. You will outlive your human family, and then they will be your only family, whom you will live with forever....
P.S : Hello anon! It was really fun for me to write this! But if it is not up to your liking then you can ask me to write it again and I'll try to better next time! Thank you!
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henry-fox-biggest-stan · 1 year ago
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Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here
I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if there’s a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if I’m wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).
Some things than happen to me than I’ve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people
-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.
-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didn’t know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think that’s the best way for me to explain it.
-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldn’t deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.
-People thought I was “gifted” as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. I’m no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. I’m mentioning this not because people who are autistic are “gifted”, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesn’t have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was “a pleasure to have in class but should speak out more” kid.
-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.
-I can’t hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says I’m being rude for “talking back” but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if I’m ever rude I probably don’t notice (I hate being rude to people).
-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.
-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I can’t be still. I’ll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.
-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if there’s lots of people around). I don’t know if it’s hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people don’t want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me I’m completely unable to see if they’re being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they weren’t actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.
-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.
-I don’t know if it has anything to do with this, but I’m adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldn’t stand it. Also don’t know if it’s related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I don’t know.
-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldn’t pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.
-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they don’t even hide it, is more, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. That’s not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I don’t understand why they do that. It’s forbidden, so why?
-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.
-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.
-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, don’t just put it on the table, tell me it’s for me. Otherwise I won’t touch it out of fear it’s not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How does everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why don’t I?
-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).
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solar-sunnyside-up · 1 year ago
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I was wondering if you had any resources for people who don't have direct action groups nearby and still want to participate in direct action. I still rely on parents for getting to places and I don't have reliable public transit, so I don't have the option to go to many protests or direct action groups. Do you have any resources on things I can do in my neighborhood (that aren't little free libraries/pantries because my neighborhood doesn't have much foot traffic)
Hey there sprout!! 🌱🌱
It depends on where you live tbh, but given I just did a rural one imma give you some ideas that you could do in the suburbs/urban neighborhoods assuming you don't have a car in a car centric world!
Look into the groups that are in your area and read up on the actions they do. You might not be able to go to events regularly but keeping up with local events is still good to feel like there's momentum! You also wanna look into what programs exist. I'm personally from an Oil loving/God fearing hick town and yet!! There's a million programs going on they just don't advertise or market themselves so you'd never know! Like I just attended an online webinar for Dark Sky Reserve policies for my town this week?? Wild stuff I'd never know if I wasn't researching my own city all the damn time
Cleaning/ gruella building public features are very cool! And something you can do in your own backyard or in the middle of the night in your streets or while your waiting for your shitty transit to get there! (I do that last one a lot, renoed some bus stops and cleaned them up bc I was BORED) Some Secret groups have starting installing benches/painting crosswalks/renovating bus shelters that do exist and technically that is something you can do. Also could look into adopt-a-stop programs.
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Gruella gardening! Seed Bombs of native wild flowers and just chucking them around when you go on walks/go out or Moss Graffiti is also an option! Just pick an abandoned spot (on a walk to somewhere or just easily accessible to you in general)
Things like designing your own newsletter/zine/stickers for your community is also neat!
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Check in with your Community Association! You'd be surprised at what those guys can do, I've seen anything ranging from movie nights and game nights to craft clubs and yoga classes to pubs/restraunts that fund the CA. Same goes with a community garden/fridge in your area. Those guys need vollunteers
Open up a free toolshed/ clothing closet at a school/library/CA center/abandoned building and hold a drive to fill it up. You'd be surprised at how excited ppl get over those!
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rishiimaa · 3 months ago
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Gojo or shoto x reader studying? I’m currently studying rn 😭
ooooo watcha studying? If it’s for a test, good luck! If it’s just cause you’re suuuupperr smart, then still good luck, smart people’re cool :}
Shoto x reader
Fem!reader
Disclaimer: CURSE WORDS 😡
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The pressure was on for Class 1-A. A massive exam was looming, and everyone was stressed, but you? You were on the verge of a meltdown. It wasn’t that you were dumb—at least, you really hoped not—but understanding certain subjects, like math (and more math, and even more math) was a struggle. You’d tried, you really had, but how were you supposed to casually memorize calculus? It felt impossible.
First, you approached Midoriya. He’s one of the smarter ones, so naturally, he’d be a great tutor, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. He was awful at explaining things, like, unbelievably bad. You walked away from your study session with him more confused than before, so he was officially scratched off the list.
Next up was Iida. Sure, he’s fine, but trying to study with him is like listening to an officer bark orders at you. He doesn’t explain; he just tells you what to do. That wasn’t going to work either.
Kirishima? Nice guy, but his study sessions usually devolved into talking about random stuff that had nothing to do with the exam. Denki? Just—no.
So that left Bakugo. He was smart, you had to admit, but his temper was another story. Maybe, just maybe…
"Hell no, fuck off loser."
Yep, kind of expected that one.
And here you were, alone in the dim library, surrounded by crumpled papers and an open laptop, your head resting on the desk in defeat. You were exhausted. Maybe you should just call it a night, you thought miserably.
"L/N? What are you doing up so late? It’s past curfew."
You groggily lifted your head, and there was Todoroki, staring at you with his usual neutral expression. “Ah—Todoroki. Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” You managed a tired smile as he settled into the chair next to you.
"I asked first." Was he… pouting?
“Ugh, nothing crazy, just trying to study for the exam.” Todoroki glanced at the mess on your desk and raised an eyebrow. His gaze shifted to your computer screen, where you were frantically searching for answers online.
“Hey… this isn’t right. You’re supposed to multiply, not add.”
You blinked, then sharply turned your head to look at your notes. You’d been stuck on that question for hours. How did he catch that so fast?
"Holy shit! That’s why I was so confused?" You shoved the paper in Todoroki’s face, startling him. “Do you realize how long I’ve been on this?! I’ve been sitting here for hours just to find out that I needed to multiply?”
Your face was dangerously close to his as you ranted, your words coming out in a rush. Todoroki, ever calm, took your notebook and pointed at one of the “simple” equations.
“It’s not as difficult as it seems,” he said in a gentle tone. “Think of it like this: if you’re driving 60 miles per hour and want to know how far you’ve traveled in two hours, what do you do?”
“U-uhm… multiply 2 with 60?” You fidgeted with your fingers nervously.
Todoroki nodded approvingly. “Good. And that gives you 120 miles.” He scribbled down the answer, his face neutral and calm, while yours was a mix of shock and disbelief. It was that simple?! How had the teachers made it so complicated?
You groaned in embarrassment and buried your head in your arms. “This is so embarrassing…”
Todoroki shook his head. “It’s not. What matters is that you’re trying. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail; if you’re willing to try again, that’s impressive.”
The library clock chimed in the silence. You stared at Todoroki, his words swirling in your mind. Sweetness overload, much? You felt like you might cry.
“Aw, thank you, Todoroki. If you’re willing, could you stay and help me pass this exam?” you asked, your voice soft and hopeful.
A small smile tugged at your lips when he nodded and scooted closer.
The next day, everyone crowded around the test scores board, buzzing with excitement over their results. You stood off to the side, stomach churning with nerves. Todoroki had been an amazing teacher, but there was still a chance you could have failed.
You scrolled down the list to find your name, your heart pounding. And there it was…
70%! Your eyes lit up—this was the highest grade you’d ever gotten! You jumped in the air, practically bursting with excitement. You’d finally passed!
But in your joy, you didn’t notice the boy with mismatched hair standing in the corner, a small smile playing on his lips.
“Dude… why does Todoroki have flowers floating around him…?”
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HIII I HOPE YA’LL LIKES IT, IT’S TOTALLY SUPER LATE BUT WATEVES! I HOPE YOU PASS WHATEVER YOU’RE STUDYING FOR ANON!! :3
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randombookposts · 1 year ago
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Canaan University Au
Ok I thought of a college au for the locked tomb a awhile ago but I never bothered to write it down until now. Anyways I think they would all go to this imaginary university in New Zealand and it’s like the first book but with a lot less murder. Here’s what I think each house would study
Judith- Criminal justice major. Huge stickler for rules and doing homework. If she’s not in the gym reading a textbook while doing push-ups, she’s in the library getting into a heated debate with a Corona. Had a huge crush on Marta and went to the same college as her to hangout, just getting over it, may or may not have feelings for Corona, maybe.
Marta- In law school, was a mentor to Judith when she was in high school and that’s how they know each other. Gently turned Judith down but they’re still friends and study together sometime. Is the DD at every party.
Corona: Majoring in marketing with a minor in fashion merchandising. Doesn’t do great on tests but aces every presentation. President of her sorority. Can and will gaslight frat boys. Everyone wants her but she only has eyes for the stuck up criminal justice major.
Ianthe- Management major with a minor in maybe finance. Commits tax fraud and gets away with it. Sometimes does Corona’s homework for her. Doxxes people online (mostly Babs), smokes in the dorm hallways. Flirts with Harrow during their study sessions, which Harrow ignores.
Naberius- Economics major, and major fuck boy. Makes thirst traps and is doxxed. Hangs out with the twins even though they bully him. Doesn’t do shit during group projects. Will get a job at his dads company post graduation.
Jeannemary and Isaac don’t go to college but are tutored by Abigail at her house. They just silly teens who experiment with makeup and clothes to find their look. Talk loudly about anime in the school hallways. A little cringe but they’re doing their best.
Abigail- Anthropology professor and is really cool. Tough grader but genuinely loves her students and shares trivia with them. Brings donuts to test days. Will accidentally derail class to talk about books or her husband. If one of her students brings up one of the incredibly niche topics she likes, she will talk about it for hours.
Magnus- Not a teacher but visits Abigail's classes often. Nice guy, helps look after Jeannemary and Isaac. I'm not sure what he would do as a job, maybe chef or stay at home husband lol. Regardless, he's the one making all the meals.
Palamedes- Pre-med, wants to become a doctor so he can save Dulcinea save people. Smartest guy in the room always, a go to for anyone struggling with their biology homework. Has a friendly rivalry with Harrow (it's more rivalry than friendly for Harrow but she grows fond of him over time). Is the one derailing class with philosophical debates.
Camilla- Physics major, too cool for you. Really into sports, just not sure which, like gymnastics or soccer or rugby or fencing. Works hard but actually remembers to eat and sleep too. Probably in student government as well. Her and Palamedes are attached at the hip, they later get an apartment together and that's where all the main hangouts with the other characters happen.
Dulcinea- Suffers from chronic illness and focuses her life on learning and traveling rather than getting a traditional job. She's got multiple degrees in stuff like literature, philosophy, and art history. She is active on social media and has a blog, and sells crocheted animals on Etsy. Became mutuals with Pal and Camilla on social media and they met up later when they went off to college.
Protesilaus- Dulcie's caretaker, helps her with her medical stuff. Becomes like a cool uncle figure to her and her friends. Hangs out a lot with Ortus and they share poetry.
Silas- Double major in theology and philosophy. Freaky teen prodigy who graduated high school early and attends university. Little shit who people are either freaked out by or straight up just don't like him. Will snitch on anyone for anything he doesn't like. Really only friends with Colum.
Colum- Silas' nephew, but way older than him, weird dynamic. Not in school but drives Silas to his classes and Silas lives with him during the school year instead of in the dorms. Nice guy, looks out for Silas' well being the best he can but tries to keep him from being too nasty to others.
Harrow- Double major in theology and archeology. Studies at all hours and forgets to eat and sleep. Local cryptid. Autistic with special interests in religion and burial rituals. Went to Catholic school and had a suffocating home life. Trying to grapple with that as she starts to navigate adult life. Also trying to mend her relationship with Gideon after being so harsh in her younger years.
Gideon- Kinesiology major, butch vibes to the max. Does swordfighting and weight training in her down time. Has kissed both Ianthe and Corona at some point, though it never went anywhere after that. Wears her sunglasses at all times even in class. Finds the worst fashions from thrift stores and wears them to piss Harrow off. Grew up with Harrow in a foster home Harrow's parents ran and also attended Catholic school with her but they rarely interacted beyond antagonizing each other. Reconnected after being randomly assigned roommates. Now they're buddies and hang out alongside the 3rd and 6th, (also the 2nd and Dulcie sometimes too). They all do stupid shit together like sing karoke off key and hit up Taco Bell at 2am after binge watching movies.
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jeannereames · 9 months ago
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Dr. Reames, a simple question from someone interested in history but who is not part of the academic world: in order to study Alexander the Great and Ancient Greece in general, how much Ancient Greek does one have to learn? Would you need to learn Demotic Greek or the many other dialects, such as the one from Macedonia? As in, you’d need to learn one or more versions of Ancient Greek?
Thank you in advance! I always enjoy your responses!
How Much Greek Do I Need to Read about Alexander?
It depends on how far you want to go…what’s your end-goal?
If you’ve no desire to make it a profession, the good news is you need very little Greek.
Most ancient Greek and Latin texts are available in translation in the major languages of (European) Classical studies: English, French, German, Italian. Now, if you want them in Polish, or Japanese, or Bengali, you’ll have more of an issue. But the Loeb Classical Library (and LOEB ONLINE) has English translations of virtually all extant (still existing) Greek and Latin sources, and if you’ve got access to a (larger) college library, they probably have them, even if you have to ask them to get things out of storage. Latin is red (PA6156); Greek is green (PA3612). Budé is the French version of Loeb, btw.
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Loeb texts also have Greek and Latin on the facing page, but I mention them because they’ve got translations of (almost) everything. One can find cheaper versions without the Greek/Latin from Penguin, Oxford, et al. But those don’t have, say, Aelian, or Athenaeus, or the obscure texts of Plutarch’s Moralia. Loeb does. That said, the Alexander histories (Arrian, Curtius, Plutarch, Diodoros, and Justin) are all available in relatively cheap translations. Much earlier, in answer to a different ask, I listed our main sources on Alexander, extant and lost. It’s a longer read, but perhaps of interest.
(See below for more online sources in translation.)
So, no, you don’t need Greek. But, if you’re at least moderately serious about reading beyond pop history, you will want to learn a few Greek words to better “get” Greek sensibilities. Say, timē (τιμή), which means honor/public standing/esteem, but has all these attendant connotations. If you start reading the Serious Stuff (articles and academic books), authors will throw these around so it’s useful to know them, as they tend to carry an entire freight of meaning we don’t want to explain every time we use them. These are words I make my students learn in my intro to Greek History class (2510), so there aren’t many. (Undergrads put up with only so much, ha.) For Alexander, it’s also useful to know the Greek names of some units, such as the Somatophylakes (the royal Bodyguard of 7), or the Hypaspists (the specialist hoplite phalanx, not the same as the Foot Companions), or even the name of the long pike (sarissa). But you can make do quite well with a vocab of maybe 30± Greek terms.
It's only if you want to pursue research at the advanced (graduate) level that you’d need Greek. Even then, it’s mostly Attic Greek. The only time you’d need dialects is for quite specific study and/or epigraphy (inscriptions). Epigraphers are language specialists. Most of us, even the “pros,” don’t work at that level. But yes, if you’re getting into extensive examinations of passages, it’s good to understand the language for yourself, not have to trust a translation. Translations are, by definition, interpretations.
I hope that encourages some folks to embark on reading the original (primary) sources. Of more import for these is to understand HISTORIOGRAPHY. Even those who can read the Greek, but lack historiographic training, tend to take stuff at face-value when they shouldn’t.
Go HERE for a discussion of historiography (with regard to Alexander). Again, it’s part of a specific ask, but I explain why we need to know something about the historians who are writing our texts, in order to understand those texts. It’s another longer read, but essential.
Almost forgot! If you prefer video, I've also talked about the sources on TikTok: Part I: Intro & Lost Alexander Sources and Part II: Extant Alexander Sources
Some Useful Online Sources to Bookmark:
Perseus (at Tufts.edu): clunky as hell because it’s old (in internet years), but indispensable. English/Greek/Latin/other texts in translation and original language, plus all sorts of other tools, including an image bank. Pitfall: these are translations outside copyright, so old and sometimes problematic. Still, it’s free, and so-so much stuff here. Every person dealing with the ancient Med world has this one on speed-dial. (You can find other online sources with various texts, but Perseus has, again, almost everything; it’s the online Loeb.)
Stoa Org Static: a version of the original where you don’t have to sign in. Takes you to various super-helpful pages, including the Online Suda (a Byzantine encyclopedia you can search: look up “Hephaistion” there. *grin*) Bunch of other helpful links.
Wiki Digital Classicist hypertext list of topics ranging from the Beasley Library (of pottery) to the Coptic Gnostic Library and various online journals. Just click around, see what’s there.
Topos Text: clickable map of places which includes all references to them in ancient sources. So if, say, you want to know where X places is, mentioned in Arrian, you can find it on the map.
PHI Searchable Greek Inscriptions: I have used the tar out of this. It’s much easier than Inscriptiones Graecae, and comes with English translations.
More Online Resources: more links. This is just one of various collections out there.
Again, ALL this stuff is free. Even when you may have to pay (like Loeb Online), the amount of material you can now lay hands on even without a uni library is fantastic.
JSTOR: requires a subscription, but, if you’re a college student or can get access via a uni library, you can look up material for free. Problem: JSTOR has different subscription packages, and only the really big Class-A Research schools have large holdings for Classics. I’m regularly foiled in things I need, as my library is smaller. I use ILL (Interlibrary Loan) a lot. If you can’t get what you want via your school JSTOR or ILL, sometimes you can purchase a solo copy of an article via JSTOR Google Scholar. But (hint) always check the journal’s website itself. It might be cheaper there! (The Ancient History Bulletin, for instance, is super-cheap; check their archives. Karanos [Macedonia only] is FREE.) Same thing sometimes with books. Certain publishers have rental options, Open Access, etc.
Also Academia.edu first: Your savior…if the author is a member, and has uploaded the paper you want. We frequently face restrictions on what we’re allowed to upload, and when. Yet we may list an article we can’t yet release publicly. That doesn’t mean we won’t send it to you privately via email if you message us and ask nicely. 😊 Especially if you’re not providing an entire wishlist, or asking for a book for free. It depends on the person, and whether they have a PDF.
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