#chuuya pretended to kill dazai it counts

[thepartyishere]

is the ship really that good if they dont try to (or successfully) kill each other??

[ambreiiigns]

i watched One wrestling (wrestledream. much to say abt it. god willing i keep watching from that episode forward) and then 4 bungo stray dogs w brother (finished s3 fucking finally my god and saw the first from s4. it was really bad) after the most fucked up week i've had in a while

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

What if I...

—You make a tempting, unexpected offer; how are they going to react?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, mentions of giving blowjobs (whether it'll happen or not is up to you lol), unstablished relationship (you're just friends, but are you..?), rushed writing

Genre: Humor

Format: Drabble

Word Count: 1.6K

↳Osamu Dazai"

Listen y/n..." Dazai cooes at you. "I'm a little bit busy with... uh, work; so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you on this mission"

Shaking your head to the side with frustration, you bend a little on the desk, gazing into his Hazel eyes to show your desperation "Oh c'mon Dazai! You're not seriously gonna make me go to this tiresome mission by myself?! They're all politicians! It's gonna be boring as hell!"

The pile of paperwork on his desk are making you question your eyesight, but you know Dazai better than that. He probably saw it coming so he placed them there on purpose to prove his point.

...Not that it could exactly be called a "point".

"Listen..." Your voice is so low that only Dazai can hear it. "There must be some way for me to change your mind"

His expression doesn't change one bit, still looking through the documents for nothing, pretending to be occupied. "Sorry to burst your bubbles, but I really can't—"

"What if I suck your dick?"

Eyes shooting you a shocked gaze and hands staying still, it seems like he's completely lost interest in the paperwork. He's looking through your soul and the moment his lips start moving, you know you've won the battle.

"For... for real?" "Yes, for real"

The surprised face is all gone and instead, there's a totally new face now; a smug face of a man who's gonna team up with you for the mission and get a little prize in the end.

"So when do we leave?"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Listen Chuuya, with great looks comes great responsibility. There's a reason why you're this hot!"

The red-haired man looked away as an attempt to hide his flustered face, his voice still gravely. "Stop it y/n. I'm not gonna be your model for the photoshoot"

"Why not? You're the perfect choice!" "The answer's no! Get over it"

"Hmph! You're no fun" You crossed your arms and pouted as you leaned to the chair. You couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was he so against being your model? You were just gonna take a few photos of him wearing casual clothes and maybe some light makeup. It was for your photography class and you were supposed to take a pic of somebody under the rays of sunset. With Chuuya's red hair and blue eyes, it would be a breath taking pic. He just looked so pretty under the sun.

As Chuuya took the bottle to sip from it, you found yourself desperate enough to give it one last shot.

"What if I suck your dick as a payment?"

And then the explosion happened. Chuuya's hand snapped, the bottle fell on the floor and drops of wine literally squirted out of his mouth. He was coughing so strongly that you rushed over and started hitting him in the back like he was some kind of ketchup bottle. His face was crimson red, but whether it was from choking or embarrassment, you couldn't really tell.

When he finally came down and caught his breath, he placed his hand on his chest and looked at you with eyes the same size as a baseball, meanwhile you looked at him miserably with the word "sorry" written all over your face.

"So... is that a yes?" "NO!"

Well, at least you nearly killed him.

↳Jouno Saigiku

"Ok I don't know why you're refusing. I'm just giving you the opportunity to make up for your mean attitude by doing something nice! You know, to go to heaven, like me and other nice people, Teccho for example"

Jouno was still expressionless. He merely sipped his cup of coffee and placed his hat on the table. "I appreciate the offer, but after a lifetime we definitely need a break from each other"

"Ugh you jerk! C'mon it's a piece of cake for you! You've arrested plenty of people before! You're smart, you're strong and I came to you for help which shows that I'm really desperate!"

Your relationship with Jouno was... questionable. He teased you, had a tendency to piss you off all the time, but somehow you were friends. The weirdest type of friendship that had ever existed, probably.

"I can see that. See I do wanna help you out, but I just love seeing the new you"

Shaking your head to the side, you leaned back to the couch. A hard case was given to you and you really didn't want to blow it up, but you needed help, and everyone else were busy. Except for your horrible friend here.

"Jouno, Jouno, Please..." You took his left, gloved hand. "I need you! I'll do anything in return! I'll team up with you and insult Teccho for a whole year! I'll write every one of your reports! I'll even suck your d—"

Jouno didn't hear your voice anymore. In fact, the only thing heard in the room was pure silence, and of course your heartbeat.

You were shocked.

He got his hand out of your grasp, placing it next to your head. His other hand found its way to your lips, softly caressing them. Meanwhile you didn't say a word, just stared at his handsome face and swallowed your saliva.

"Hypothetically, if I help you out, how far would you go to make it up to me?"

Forget about your friendship. You weren't that close anyway.

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm going to go to my parents' with my boyfriend tonight"

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, dear" Fyodor tilted his head to the side to gaze at you.

"I don't! That's where you come in!"

Nikolai exchanged a look between your nervous expression and Fyodor's smile, and pouted. "Hey! Why didn't you ask me instead?"

"Yeah yeah, if I ever wanted to give them a heart attack you'd be the first person I'll go to" You sighed and looked back at Fyodor. "So? Would you please help me out?"

Fyodor was sitting next to you on a chair. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Ah... I'm not sure about that. Wouldn't it make our relationship awkward?"

"No! No not at all!" Your voice was rushed and shaky. "You see you're the perfect choice for this"

"Hmph!"

"Shut up Nikolai. I mean, you're tall, you know how to talk to people— in a satisfying way, ah, you know what I mean, you're handsome, you have very pretty hair, you have the most beautiful violet eyes I can stare at until forever..."

His brattish smirk made you shut up and give a few embarrassed coughs. Your flushed cheeks weren't exactly helping you out at the moment.

"Eh... So you're the best in many ways... Now, would you please help me out?"

Fyodor gave Nikolai-who was also smirking- a meaningful look, and his smirk got broader. "I will think about it"

"What's there to think about? You get to have a free dinner and also have a great time! My dad has the same taste in books as you! I'll even suck your dick at the end!"

You suddenly shut up and stared at the two men with eyes the same size as a racket ball. Now there was also two pare of knitted eyebrows along with the smirks. Nikolai's winking and muttering "Yeah baby" didn't help you loosen up at all.

Fyodor leaned closer until the phrase "personal space" lost its meaning, staring at you. His pretty eyes were sparkling, making it harder to steal your gaze from them. His voice was as gentle as the sea breeze, the perfect melody to caress your ears.

"So... I'll get to date the most beautiful girl in the world, spend a whole night with her and then get something afterwards?"

You were so drowned in your thoughts that you couldn't utter a single word. This moment was magical, making you wonder if he were going to seal your lips with his, totally forgetting about Nikolai's presence.

...Until he started talking.

"Do you guys want me to leave the room? Cause there's no way I'm doing that"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"...Which is why clowns are so fragile and have strong emotions!"

You shook your head with disappointment. "Yeah yeah, get it. But that doesn't answer my question"

"What was your question anyway?"

Ugh.

"Would you please babysit my cousins with me?"

"Hahaha! I remember now!" His face brightened with joy. "Well, no"

You leaned closer to him miserably. "Oh c'mon Kolya!"

"Sorry dove, I just don't get along with children. Not a fan"

"But they're triplets Kolya! I can't handle them on my own!" At this point you were literally begging. "Pretty please?"

"Triplets? Ha! Another reason for me to say no"

Well, that was it. You were going to be alone with your naughty cousins for four hours and then hand a burned house and probably only one of the boys back to your aunt because you lost the other two.

"Unless..."

Ah! There's still some hope left.

"You offer me something in return?"

Nikolai's face was dangerously close to yours. His smile was bright, but his intention didn't seem to be. Although that didn't scare you. It only made your body numb with excitement and through your clouded mind, you somehow put two and two together and blurted something out.

"Eh... What if.. What if I suck your di— Woah Nikolai what are you doing?"

A chuckle left his mouth as if something simple had happened, but this wasn't simple. He had just lifted you up and was carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

"You took the hint all by yourself. How about that, my naughty dove?"

"K— Kolya! Where are you taking me?"

Your red cheeks only made his smile broader. "We're gonna get your clothes changed, go to your aunt's aweful house, babysit your horrible cousins, and then get ready for a night of fun"

↳Sigma

"So... How's the best manager in the world?"

Sigma's stare was still pointed at the documents. "I'm not planning a birthday party for your friend y/n"

"What are you talking about?" You smiled cunningly, lightly caressing his arm from the other side of the desk. "Can't I just compliment my incredible friend? Who happens to be an expert in planning and managing stuff?"

When you two first met, he used to get flustered by your flattering comments, but now Sigma's eyebrows only jumped in surprise. "You... can, but it won't change my mind"

"Pretty please?" Dropping the act, you got up from your seat and stood next to him, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. "I really need your help. I don't have a clue about this and you're the only one I know"

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm caught up with work. You know that the casino is very busy this time of year, there's nothing I can do"

You sighed and sat on the chair again, desperately thinking about a way to convince him. What would make men do women a favor...

"What if I suck you dick?"

Sigma was still staring at the documents, which made you wonder if he had heard you, but his eyes were not the same. They were widened. He slowly lifted his head and looked at you like he was about to chop off his hand and stick it down his ass, and that made you finally realize it.

"Oh I forgot that you're three years old! I mean you haven't even hit puberty yet. Oops. My bad"

Yeah, Sigma needed new friends.

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[nomazee]

Silly little thing I thought of

Like like imagine dazai and the reader have been friends for years like the reader knew him since his 15 goofer era... and they got used to eachother sm they usually sleep in eachothers beds n stuff :3

LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING ON BUT THEY STILL HAVE THE FRIENDSHIP LABEL.. 🐺🤞

this concept stuck itself in my head like a tapeworm and it has not escaped me for days IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED i wrote SO MUCH for this omfg i had so much fun writing this thank u for this wonderful idea pairing: dazai x gn reader word count: 2.5k content: fluff, vignette-style writing, friends-to-lovers unspoken label type of thing, soft dazai, domestic fluff without the marriage bit, banter, idiots in love im taking requests!

===

Dazai’s toes are still as frigid at night as they were seven years ago. You, of all people, would be the best person to measure this—not in a weird way, but you two have shared a bed at least once a week since your teenage years. You know all of Dazai’s annoying sleeping habits, including his ones of sleeping without socks and digging his feet into your shins for warmth. 

Annoying fucker. You sigh, batting his arm away from its loose hold around your waist. “Get your toes off of me,” you croak out, half-conscious and mind still addled with the remains of your once-deep sleep.

“What toes,” Dazai mutters back, smacking your intervening hand away and returning his arm to its rightful place around you. “I don’t have toes. I got rid of them after puberty, ‘member?” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” You won’t, not really, and the threats have lost their edge after all these years, but it’s fun to throw at him when he annoys you like this. “I know all your weaknesses, Osamu. One wrong move and you’ll be missing more than just your toes.” 

“I’m cold, dear. Would you really let me freeze like this? So mean.” 

You try not to choke up at the nickname. He’s been a fan of those recently, at least in the last year. You think it has something to do with your new places at the Agency. New workplace, new life, and new nicknames, apparently. If you overthink it you might puke on him and fall back asleep. 

“Not cruel. We have money now, you know. Go buy yourself socks. Wool, or something. Stupid ass cold ass toes.”

He goes quiet. Even in all these years of knowing him, half-living with him, you can’t tell if it’s a normal lull in the conversation or a calculated pause. It doesn’t unnerve you as much as it used to, but there’s still a cold chill at the nape of your neck that springs up at times like these. 

“Why would I do that when I have you?” 

Dazai has also been a fan of this recently—strange uncharacteristic moments of tenderness. He peels himself back for you and bares himself raw. The implications make you nauseous. Swathed in the darkness of the night, he can’t see your fingers twitch from where they lay next to your head, away from his sight; or the conflicted expression that crosses your face. 

Easing your breath out into a steady, deep rhythm, you pretend to be asleep. It’s not like he can’t tell, but the message is there. Let’s not talk about this until the morning. Let’s just sleep for the night. Let’s keep what we have and not change it for the worse. 

==

At age eighteen, shaken with the death of his friend and haunted by blood stains on his fingers, Dazai defects from the mafia. 

He doesn’t take you with him—at least, he doesn’t mean to. He expects to leave quietly, or as quietly as blowing up Chuuya’s car can be. He doesn’t expect you to drag yourself along kicking and screaming. 

Dazai doesn’t remember much about specifics, but he knows that one day he was alone in his underground apartment and the next day you were there. The kitchen smelled like melted marshmallows and rice krispies and his dingy counter was covered in sprinkles. 

“Hi, Dazai,” you’d greeted conversationally. “I’m making your favorite.” 

He doesn’t even like rice krispie treats. Hates them, actually. 

In truth, your presence is less the result of you “kicking and screaming” and more like an after-effect of your own quiet stubbornness. Your kicking-and-screaming was done in the passive aggressive way that you cleaned his dishes and made his bed and left big trays of rice krispie treats in his fridge for the next week. 

Neither of you talked about Chuuya. It was better for you that way. 

On the first night, Dazai remembers you holding him from behind, forehead pressed into the stretch of skin between his neck and shoulder. He’s sensitive there despite being wrapped in his stupid scratchy bandaids. His memories for the rest of the night are overrun by a feeling of want, an itch to feel your fingers on his bare skin, a craving for your hand on his stomach to slide beneath the hem of his shirt and press into the tender skin of his abdomen and keep him warm.  

===

“Leave me alone,” you grumble from behind the sleeve of your jacket. “I’m napping.” 

“It’s not napping if you’re still awake.” 

“I wouldn’t be awake if it wasn’t for your annoying ass.” Rotating your body to face the ceiling from your place on the Agency’s couch, you sigh when your view is blocked by Dazai’s ugly stupid face. He’s smiling in that conniving way that he does when he’s about to do something super annoying. Another sigh escapes you when he leans down close enough for the overgrown ends of his hair to brush against your nose. The puff of air from your verbal discontent makes the strands sway slightly. You try not to think about how mesmerizing he looks when he’s this close, with the light from the window casting a golden sheen on the crown of his head. 

Since when did you get this sappy? Must be Dazai rubbing off on you, obviously. 

“So tired already! It’s barely noon.” 

“You came into work an hour ago. I’ve been here since eight. Try being responsible for a change, might exhaust you just as much.” 

“Hmm.” He tilts his head, big stupid shiny brown eyes blinking down at you like he’s observing a specimen. “I think I’m more than responsible enough.” 

“Sure,” you relent, turning back around to shove your face into the corner of the couch and block out the incoming light. It’s the truth—you’re exhausted. A persistent weariness permeates your bones from how much you’ve been working these last few weeks. It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault in particular, not even Dazai’s despite how much he slacks on paperwork. But looming threats from enemy organizations hang over everyone’s heads and there’s no shortage of uncertainty in the Agency. It’s been mission after mission for you, and you’re taking every break you can get. 

Rustling sounds from above you, but you pay it no mind, busying yourself with nestling all of your body into the crevices of the couch and hopefully turning into a piece of furniture yourself. It might be a more peaceful life, really. The calm is short-lived when you feel fingers tap along your cheek—not in a rousing gesture, but something along the lines of placating. 

Dazai squeezes a hand beneath your head and cups the side of your face pressed against the couch, tilting it closer to him before you feel a warm press of lips against your cheek. He lingers. He always does. You can feel the gentle inhales and exhales breeze against your face before he breaks his kiss away. Your cheek is warm for more reasons than one. 

“Take care of yourself,” and oh, god, you’ll never get used to this, never get used to how tender and soft he’s become with you, never get used to how this Agency has fostered something like kindness in both of you. Your stomach stirs with something unnamed and if you were braver, you’d blink your eyes open and reach up and grab the sides of his face and pull him down to you. 

But you’re not brave, and there’s people still behind you in the office, and you wonder what led Dazai to be soft enough to kiss your face like that in front of everyone. You’re sure they’re watching you both. The Agency is full of gossips, whether they admit it or not. 

===

“Dazai,” Ango Sakaguchi grits out from behind the crackling reception of a burner phone. “They were not a part of the plan.” 

“You think I don’t know that, Ango?” Dazai replies, tone more playful than aggressive. “I know they’re not a part of the plan. They knew they weren’t part of the plan, too. But it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s just a minor change.” 

“A minor change?” Ango’s voice is strained with stress, no doubt pulling out strands of his hair as they speak. “I have to deal with not one, but now two members of the mafia defecting. Do you know how much work this was to begin with?” 

The thing is—of course Dazai knows. He knows everything. The minute he found you in his kitchen, his stomach dropped with the uncertainty of the future. Going underground with another person was nothing short of a burden, at least on paper. But, he couldn't find it in himself to think of you like that. Like a burden. 

“We’ll figure it out, Ango. If you don’t, then we will.” 

A gritty sigh sounds from the other side of the phone call. “I’m putting a lot of faith in you, Dazai. Don’t screw this up.” 

===

“Made you lunch. Since, obviously, you’re not gonna do that for yourself any time soon.” 

A closed plastic container is thrown on the counter in front of Dazai. He looks at it, then up at you, eyebrow raised as if he doesn’t have a clue what this could be about. He’s not that stupid, though. You of all people would know that. 

“How nice of you! Too bad I’m not hungry.” His lip juts out in a poor imitation of a pout, and he looks ugly with it. So ugly. Ugly enough to make you feel the need to kiss him all over and then slap him. An incredulous huff escapes you. 

“I don’t care if you’re hungry. Eat. It has crab in it, see, your favorite.” 

“I thought my favorite was rice krispies?” 

You freeze. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might remember that, after all this time. You don’t dwell, because that’s the worst thing to do with Osamu Dazai—dwell. 

“Don’t act stupid. Just eat it. Even if it’s not the whole thing, at least some of it. It would do you some good.” Getting serious with Dazai is one of the most awkward, unbearable things you could ever do. He has a way of making you feel stupid for worrying about him, with all his roundabout jokes and skills of evasion built up over years. You’ve found that being straightforward is the best way to avoid all those blank moments of silence. 

His fingers curl around the plastic lid and pop it open. The container is still warm, having cooked all its contents just half an hour before showing up at Dazai’s apartment with conviction in your eyes. “Sure,” he says. “I’ll have some.” 

You bring out a duplicate container with a serving for you, and treat yourself to a juice box from his fridge. You try not to launch into a lecture at the sight of his barren pantry—that’s best done by Kunikida. The both of you eat in silence, sitting across from each other at Dazai’s dusty kitchen island. 

He only gets through a few bites before pushing the container away and complaining about how full he is. You know it’s not the truth, but it’s the mixed-up signals that his body sends him. It’s not that he’s full, but his persistent lack of appetite has caused a lot of troubles for him in the past and you don’t doubt that it’ll keep causing troubles in the future, too. 

“Let’s get you to bed, then,” you tell him, dragging him up from his chair despite his whining protests. “I won’t make you shower, but you should probably do that tomorrow, ‘cause your hair’s about to get all greasy and disgusting.”

“So crude.” 

“I do my best.” 

You let him change on his own, but not before picking out a nice soft set of matching pajamas from deep inside his closet. You grumble a little in annoyance. The set was a birthday gift you got for him a year ago and that asshole pushed it to the back of his wardrobe and never touched it again. What a brat. You throw a pair of fuzzy socks at him to boot. 

Once he’s changed into proper sleep clothes, you can tell that the exhaustion is starting to hit him. He sways a little on his feet and his blinks last for a little too long, as if he’s chasing sleep every time his eyes shut. With another begrudging sigh, you set him down on the floor of the bathroom and dollop his toothbrush with fruity kid’s toothpaste—because of course that’s the only toothpaste he owns—and brush his teeth for him. 

Dazai dozes off in the middle of it, and you can’t bring yourself to wake him up in the most annoying way possible. You try really, really hard to not think about how soft you’ve gotten. You’re an ex-mafia member, past coated with dark stains and entrails and death, all of those dark things. Your blood is just as black as Dazai’s, if not more. And yet, being a part of this stupid Detective Agency with this stupid man has melted you down into something parallel to good.

Don’t dwell. It’ll do you no good. 

You use a gentle grip with the toothbrush, ensuring that his delicate gums don’t tear with the force of the bristles. A warm feeling stirs in your chest. It feels like you’ve proven something, like you’ve proven to the world that your coal-stained hands can be gentle, too. You can kill and you can nurture. You tap Dazai awake with a little more care, now. 

“Rinse your mouth,” you tell him in a whisper. “Then you can sleep.” And after a pause, you add, “I promise,” because now you’re in the business of making promises to people. 

Dazai rinses his mouth, and you wipe off the remaining droplets of water from his face with a paper towel that you leave on the counter for your future self to throw out. You lace your fingers with his as you walk to his bed. Not that he needs any guiding. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just a little extra insurance, you think. 

“Stay with me,” he mumbles out the minute you lay him down on the bed. It’s a sentence, and not a question, because he’d rather die than ask you something so vulnerable. He’s doing it again—peeling himself back and baring himself raw for you. Your head swims and your vision blurs with either a migraine or with tears, you can’t tell. But your lips quirk up into a stupid smile and he sees it despite his half-lidded eyes, and he smiles back like the stupid dope that he is. 

“Yeah, of course. I’m right here, Osamu. Go to sleep.” 

And he does. Of course, not before he feels you cup the opposite side of his face and plant a warm, lingering kiss on the swell of his cheek just as he did for you weeks before. The faint laugh that he lets out before he falls asleep is enough to tell you that he’ll be making fun of you for it in the morning. For now, though, he’s soft and pliant and warm between your hands, and you sleep.

[gaoau]

you can't reinvent the laughter

theory of the two demons warnings — none word count — 2.8k

prev. — next.

a month or so of training under their new mentor has gone by—[Name] can't keep up anymore with the passage of time. they seem to be busier now than they ever were with Dazai; their shoulders feel heavier now than they ever did with Dazai looking them right in the eye. they can sense him like a looming curse clinging to their back and waiting to strike. he's been lurking around, [Name] can tell, keeping tabs on them and their progress. it's slow, but it's progress, and [Name] has become another testament to Dazai's efficiency and why he should be made an executive before Chuuya.

although they hate knowing this, [Name] keeps their mouth shut and their head bowed down. they work on their own improvement outside of Dazai's brownie points—they didn't join this hell of an organization to help Dazai climb the ranks; this is for their friends and family. so they endure the torturous training, the one that has turned out to be a billion times more excruciatingly exhausting than their previous mentor's. molten lava injected directly into their veins, occasional concussions when they slip up, a four-day long coma, bruises that won't fade. they'd rather have this over the sneer of a lonely boy holding back his tears.

they've come to learn that Verlaine's ability is so much stronger than Chuuya's. they're taking their sweet fucking time in getting used to the influx of energy. it burns them from underneath their skin and flings them into a wall every time they try to convert the energy into power. apart from that repeated failure, their martial arts and stealth skills have improved greatly.

[Name] has killed a total of twenty-three people since they earned their title as a proper Port Mafia assassin.

they wonder how worth it this all is, when their muscles ache with every breath they take as they rest. (resting feels criminal lately.) the infirmary has become a second bedroom so they can pretend it's consequences and not tiredness. they keep their eyes peeled, making sure not to doze off for a moment. the ceiling doesn't flicker and neither does it blind them. it's within reach and painted a pleasant cream color, reflecting against the natural sunlight pouring in from the window. [Name] knows their new mentor couldn't care less about whether they bleed out on the ground or not, but he's conscious enough to have people fetch them after they pass out with mangled limbs.

they think this is worth it; they think this is what the Port Mafia actually has to offer. 

nothing is broken today. nothing has been broken for weeks. there's only bruises—maybe a little disorientation—and constant pain, but things would be so much worse with Dazai.

(Dazai is busy with someone else, though.)

a knock sounds on the door, startling [Name] out of their agonies. they call into the quiet of the room, "come in," only for the knocking to become incessant. "come in," [Name] tries again, a little louder, a little more irritated. the knocking doesn't cease, instead picking up speed, more and more rapid, pressing, insistent. c'mon, hey, hurry up, let's go, it says and [Name] squeezes a sigh from between their teeth. they groan and curse as they drag themself out of bed.

with every step, they can hear their bones grind like rusted hinges, echoing in their brain with notes of strain. but when they open the door, it all washes away. they're surprised to find Q rocking back and forth on their feet, a bright beam spread across their face. their worn doll is tucked under their right arm and their left hand hangs in the air in a fist. [Name] blinks. there doesn't seem to be any blood or bruises at a first glance, but they know the damage only grows the more time passes. (Dazai holds a knife to any peace of mind [Name] could ever muster.)

they grin down at Q and instinctively reach their hand to ruffle their hair up. Q closes their eyes and grins back, welcoming the affectionate touches from an older sibling they do not have. "hey, kiddo," [Name] greets with a chirp in their tone, "what're you doing here?"

"Dazai-san's busy today!" Q exclaims, stars in their eyes. their voice sounds nearly like a melody to rival the silence ringing in [Name]'s ears. they can't help but feel wary. Q snakes their fingers into [Name]'s hand and tugs. "let's go play!"

[Name]'s smile deforms into a guilt-ridden grimace. with the scorching ache coursing through their every nerve, they ca—but Q is gazing up at them so expectantly, pulling on their arm, teeming with anticipation to lead the way because they know [Name] will follow. because [Name] knows they will follow. because [Name] wanted someone who would follow, too.

they ignore the pain threatening to burst like needles from underneath their skin, have them bleed out on the ground for Q to watch. with trembling knees, they scoop Q into their arms and hold them against their hip. "do you feel up for a change of scenery?"

"sure!"

"let's ask Mori-san, what do you say?"

Q giggles mirthfully and nearly strangles [Name]'s neck in a tight hug. they press against a glowing bruise beneath their shirt. [Name] winces quietly so Q can keep smiling. they feel free.

[Name] didn't grow up in Yokohama—or in any other city in the world. there was a park they used to frequent with the other kids at the orphanage, but it must be too many train rides away at this point. they've memorized a few important routes in Yokohama by now (courtesy of the Port Mafia's assassination jobs), which isn't much, but it's all they need to escort Q to the nearest park.

they watch from a bench as Q exhausts their energy, running and jumping around in glee. Q is just a kid. sticks are swords and rocks are grenades and a scratch on their arm is hallucinations that drive anyone insane. but Q is nothing more than just a kid. [Name] calls out, "careful, there!" while Q attempts to climb a tree. they remember that's how kentarou chipped off the corner of his front tooth and how much he cried.

the sun starts to set when [Name]'s phone rings in their pocket. they need to head back now.

Q doesn't complain when [Name] offers them their hand, cheeks rosy and smudged with dirt for all the right reasons. "that was fun!" they exclaim with a giggle. they hold tightly onto [Name]'s hand as they cross the street.

and it rings in [Name]'s head, bouncing around the corners of their mind, reverberating in dissonance. let's go play! and it hurts! sounding at the same time; overflowing excitement and excruciating pain echoing from the same voice of a kid who loathes their own existence. a kid whose hand is small and warm. a kid who knows nothing but chaos despite how much they hate it. a kid with dreams in a name they don't want to use anymore.

[Name] glances down at this kid. neglected innocence they feel compelled to protect. "what if we read yume as mu?"

Q cranes their neck up to find [Name]'s gentle simper. "for… my name?" they frown. [Name] tugs them out of the way so they don't bump into other people.

"yeah. mukyuu?"

"i don't care anymore…" Q mumbles. Q has realized.

but [Name] doesn't care. they see Q's defeated pout as they face forward again. "you didn't like yu-chan, did you?" they chuckle. "how 'bout mu-chan, then?" Q stops walking as they gaze up at [Name], mouth agape and an endearing brightness lighting up their eyes. [Name] grins at them. "oh! Mucchan!"

the corners of Q's mouth lift into their cheeks. they laugh from the core of their chest and squeeze [Name]'s hand. "i'm Mucchan!"

"yeah, you're Mucchan!" [Name] squeezes back.

[Name] is sorry.

Yumeno Kyuusaku is just a kid.

it burns. the moment they first held Q's hand, [Name] knew it would burn. even if they die here, even if it kills them, this hell will follow them to their grave. despite the clear warnings, they grabbed the plate while it was still too hot to take. (but it was always going to stay hot.) Q doesn't deserve any of this. Q simply couldn't take it anymore—they were just throwing a tantrum, manic cackles echoing through the Port Mafia's headquarters, laughing at the chaos they were causing because they've never been taught otherwise. Q is not innocent, [Name] understands that much, but they're just a kid.

Q is unconscious.

[Name], however, stirs awake. they don't know how long it's been. through bleary eyes, they see Q passed out and locked behind bars. it's cold in here. they can hardly believe Q will have to live in confinement indefinitely just because they're a child. Dazai called them a walking catastrophe and what else could they do but live up to his claims? Q is not at fault. 

with quivering and aching arms, [Name] pushes themself off the floor. they crawl closer to the cell bars, their right leg dragging behind them, snapped in half. the cell door rattles through the silence when they grasp it for support. the lighting is so dim that they can barely tell if Q is breathing anymore. for a moment, it seems like they aren't. then they see their chest rise and fall, slowly. sighing in relief, [Name] turns and leans against the bars. their hand brushes over a puddle of blood. they don't know if it's theirs or Q's.

[Name] wonders if Q wants to die, too. if the confinement will have them finding anything to end their life with. if Dazai will come in at the right moment to stop them and keep them alive for the Port Mafia's benefit.

but it wasn't Dazai the one coming to sew [Name]'s arms shut when they tried to kill themself again. and it's not them the one lying on the ground out cold. there was nothing they could do—through the years and earlier today. they argued, they stood up to Dazai, and they failed. Q is confined and this is history repeating for them, only this time they can only watch from the outside in.

they pull their knees up to their chest, wincing at their broken leg. just in time, the door to the underground cells creaks open. [Name] chooses to hide and make themself smaller rather than confirm it's Dazai coming to taunt them. their shoulders tremble as they listen to him get closer with every echoing step. fists and teeth clenched, they know they can't fight him. they want to, though. they want to strike back right here, right now. they want to kill him.

although [Name] hides their face in their knees in the middle of the dark, their anger is bigger than them. there's no way Dazai could possibly miss them; Dazai knows the shadows like the back of his hand. this is just as much as he can expect from someone like [Name]. he chuckles. it resonates, bouncing off the walls. it makes [Name] shift slightly, lifting their head enough to glower at him so scornfully.

"come on," he starts, voice airy and light, dancing with notes of laughter, "don't look at me like that." their anger will slice him up if he so much as takes a step closer. at least, it will try, but there's not much rabid emotions can do against someone like him. "i get you're upset, but they had it coming. do you have any idea how many people died?"

"what do you know, Dazai-san? your ability blessed you, Mucchan is just a child."

something flashes in his eyes briefly. he brushes it off just as quick. "Q is just a child?" he repeats their words back at them. it's synthetic, the way the word blessed rings next to his identity. he tries his best to fit among normal people with a face no one else sees. "or do you mean you were just a child when they experimented on you?"

[Name]'s glare sharpens. they tense their muscles to keep themself from pouncing on him impulsively. they let the silence last longer than Dazai would normally allow. he isn't very patient, [Name] knows. he waits months and even years to see his plans come to fruition. they can't win against him. no matter how much they want to snap his neck and bash his skull in and have him feel everything they are feeling, there's nothing they can do. they're so much less than he is.

it burns.

it burns. it burns. it burns and it will never stop burning.

quietly, they speak up, "you say there's no point in living…" and lose their train of thought immediately. despite their twitching fingers, they keep their voice steadily soft. Q is still behind them, passed out or not.

"what? you don't agree?"

"i… do." it burns. "i just wonder why you're still here."

Dazai hums, hands in his pockets, leisurely. "what about you? you're also here." he looks down at and on [Name]. they glare back. he thinks they could kill him if he weren't careful.

"i have things i can't leave unfinished. i'll be gone once they're done."

"ah, is that so?" it hangs in the air. weightless, carefree. it pierces into [Name]'s ears mockingly. Dazai shrugs. "guess you can say the same for me."

"no."

the frown soiling Dazai's face is involuntary. he isn't laughing anymore.

"i'm not like you."

he's laughing again. "really? i know you hate me, but it's true we see eye to eye here. surely you understand that."

"you're not like me, Dazai-san."

Dazai blinks at [Name] for a moment. he spares them another uninterested glance, assessing the damage he caused to their body. the normal thoughts they share are not a product of his actions. only a coincidence. only a mirror. only a scheme he's still unaware of. when he looks past them and at Q's unconscious body, [Name] jostles, ready to ignore the clear disadvantage and attack.

then he sighs, "you still have training today. don't keep Verlaine-san waiting, yeah?" he's rather surprised to watch as [Name] hides their face in their knees again. it's quiet. "yeah?" he repeats, but they don't answer. with a childish scoff, he leaves them to handle themself.

[Name] is so sorry.

isshin namiyo finds her boss' ability to be unsettling. she remembers the [Name] of a few months ago, with less scars on their skin and a less brooding disposition. back then, all they could do was kill at Mori's order, but it's horrific to see a kid this young weaken people twice their size by just touching them for a few seconds. although she doesn't know the logistics of Mirror Mirage, namiyo can tell it fits right in the Port Mafia.

[Name]'s skills have improved greatly overtime. now there's fifteen men on the verge of death, all waiting for Dazai to show up so he can interrogate them. they're the enemy, sure, but namiyo pities them. the real devil to fear is among her allies, she has come to realize. she wonders why [Name] even needs their unit if they do all the work by themself.

but namiyo doesn't say anything, tightening the restraints on one of the goons. her coworkers do the same and idly stand by. [Name] hasn't said a word to them in a long while. they sleep through the night and wake up in the morning as usual, but it's all practiced repetition. it's like they suddenly realized something; like they have access to something that will protect them if they don't speak.

then Dazai's voice, soft and calm, echoes through the room, "great job, [Name], you're really making use of your ability."

namiyo bows, and so does the rest of [Name]'s unit. [Name] doesn't. they turn towards him, the demon prodigy, and glare through narrowed eyes. 

Dazai sighs, exasperated, "you're still not talking? it's been almost a month."

[Name] spares namiyo a nod. she finds this extremely unsettling. nonetheless, she understands they're leaving her to work with Dazai. promptly, they head out the door.

"say hi to Q for me!" Dazai calls, waving his arm with childish excitement.

before the door closes, namiyo sees how [Name]'s fingers twitch. but she doesn't say anything, watching two children pick at each other's minds. the world may as well laugh at her cowardice from the bottom of its heart.

[Name] is so, so sorry.

note — so mucchan ��🏻 i love q with my entire heart. i fucking love children with more power than they know what to do with and q is such a great example of that. i wasnt particularly interested in reaching into their brain, cause really theyre just a kid left at a hospital that mori got his hands on, so its not that hard to understand whats going on. but since i had mc in the mix this time, i wanted to give q more of a shot at being a child. it was always meant to be short lived though cause, at the end of the day, dazai ends up confining them and they stay there until the guild arc so speaking of, the way dazai views q is so odd to me. dazai in general is very odd, cause he confined them after they killed however many people, but the window of time in which he could have done that is very short and q was less than ten years old in every scenario. (not to mention dazai only becomes an executive when hes around eighteen) i took it more as q throwing a tantrum over having to harm themself than them being intentionally evil. dazai put them away because of the damage they caused, but ill never understand if he was genuinely angry so many people died in vain or he was just being cautious. it really depends on when in the timeline it happened, and i chose to put it before odasaku this is, unfortunately, the end of the q arc (and im so sad theres no gender neutral nee/nii-chan cause i desperately wanted q to address mc like that). theres only so much i could do with a pretty simple character, but it works out in the end when the line between mc caring about q and just using them to heal themself from past abuse is very blurred. ill hold qs hand to cross the street any day of the week thanks for reading, drink water have day

[scriveyner]

He had been here before.

The moment thrummed with the inevitable, the bite of the crisp autumn air, the call of seabirds in the distance. Akutagawa stared through the crush of people, his heartbeat quickening, confused and concerned at his own inability to control his body’s reaction. Déjà vu was nothing but a fault in the brain, a broken neural pathway remapped across an existing memory…and yet.

He had been here before.

Continue on AO3 or after the jump:

Pedestrians paid him no mind, ignoring his work clothes. He could see the weretiger now; elbows leaned on the railing as he watched the ships in the bay, his back completely open to attack. He was alone today, and that was unusual because he was so rarely alone; either accompanying Dazai-san or accompanied by another member of the detective agency.

The weretiger shifted his weight, leaning it more on one elbow, that ridiculous belt curling like a tail around his side. He was too casual in his stance, and Akutagawa realized suddenly that not only was Atsushi waiting for Akutagawa’s inevitable strike…he was expecting it.

Lip curled, Akutagawa stepped across the sidewalk, and Atsushi tilted his head, looking at him sidelong. He was a poor actor, pretending to be surprised at Akutagawa’s appearance here, but he was maintaining his charade, at least for the moment. “Didn’t feel like throwing the first punch today?” Atsushi asked, and Akutagawa’s scowl slipped into a sneer.

“Perhaps I wanted to get close enough to slip a knife between your ribs instead, weretiger. You left me plenty of opening to do so.”

“You’re not a knife fighter.” Atsushi dismissed him so casually out of hand that it lifted Akutagawa’s eyebrows. “You’d use Rashomon for that anyway. But you’re early today, what changed?”

What…changed…?

Akutagawa stared at him, taken completely off guard. He’d only spied the weretiger from across the park and felt like picking a fight, how dare he imply that Akutagawa was predictable…had he been waiting for him?

Atsushi turned to look at him when Akutagawa had yet to respond to his question. “You were on your way to deliver some documents for Chuuya-san, but you usually don’t show up to attack me until—” he raised three fingers, then two—and right as he folded his last finger down a ship across the bay blew its foghorn, the sound echoing across the choppy water. “That.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Akutagawa asked.

“Tried that,” Atsushi said with a dismissive sigh. He leaned his elbow against the metal rail and slouched forward, chin in hand as he stared out across the water. “Got old, after a while. Pretty much the only highlight of my day anymore is waiting for you to take my head off, at least the fighting wears me out.”

The echo of that statement played out in an instant, dozens of fights down this very path, Rashomon cracking the railing and Atsushi’s powerful tiger limbs leaving craters in the concrete pavers. Akutagawa gripped the railing himself, looking down into the water, dizzy suddenly with the knowledge of days, weeks of this—and when he looked up, Atsushi was giving him a concerned look.

“What’s the matter, Akutagawa? Aren’t you itching to fight me again today?”

“Weretiger,” he said, carefully, “how many times have we had this conversation?”

Atsushi blinked at him. “This one is new, but we’ve talked dozens of times.”

Akutagawa inhaled carefully. He should leave this alone, he did have to courier that paperwork, but when was he ever known for being diligent in his work duties? It would be abnormal for him to leave the weretiger unmolested. “How many times have we fought, here?”

Atsushi exhaled, leaning back now with his hands on the railing, letting the railing support his weight while he thought about it. “I lost count,” he said finally. “After a while, they all seem to blur together, you know?” He let out a laugh Akutagawa had never heard before, dipping into unhinged in a way he’d never imagined the weretiger could be. “Sometimes I kill you, you know? Or I let you kill me. But it doesn’t matter because everything resets. I wake up and it’s Sunday again.”

He released the railing and danced back a step, spinning to face Akutagawa, sleeves shredding to the elbow. “Shall we do this, then? I’ve been waiting all day.”

Akutagawa didn’t move, staring at him. The spark of an ability activating had drawn some attention that Atsushi would usually shy away from, but he stood, feet spread, claws out, waiting on Akutagawa. The look in his eyes was as unhinged as his laugh, and Akutagawa said something that he never imagined he would say, least of all to the weretiger. “No,” he said. “I am not going to fight you.”

Atsushi stared at him for a long, long moment, before the stripes ran from his arms, and they returned to normal. “Well, that’s something you’ve never said before,” he said, clearly puzzled. “What’s so different about today? You’re early, you don’t want to fight…I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.”

“You’re acting absurd, weretiger. I don’t need to be afflicted by whatever madness consumes you.” Akutagawa stepped away from the railing as well. Atsushi was watching him the way a cat might watch an insect it was stalking across the floor. It raised his hackles, maybe he would be up for that fight after all….

“You know,” Atsushi said, speculatively. “Sometimes, we don’t fight. Sometimes we fuck instead.”

Akutagawa froze in place, a thousand silenced thoughts flooding his mind. He realized, horrified, that this brought a blush to his face when Atsushi smirked at him; and he scowled so hard he thought he felt his skin crack. “I am tired of these mind games you’re playing,” he snapped. “I have other business to attend to today.”

Atsushi stalked up to him and he turned on his heel, surprised at the boldness of the advance. “You like it when I fuck you,” Atsushi said, and the words hit like a lead balloon in his gut. “It’s weird, I thought you wouldn’t like giving up control so easily, but—”

Akutagawa struck him across the face.

Atsushi staggered back, hand flying to his face to cover the bruise blossoming on his cheek. “Oh, we are going to fight,” he said, delighted, and Akutagawa snarled in response, Rashomon rippling down his arms and shredding the remains of the courier uniform he had been wearing in the mild hope of blending into the crowd.

“I would never submit to you,” he hissed, face burning scarlet. “I would die before I allowed you to lay a finger on me!”

Atsushi laughed, arms already transformed and crossed in front of his face to block the first slash from Rashomon like he knew when it was coming. “You came on to me,” he said. “That first time we fought to a standstill and there wasn’t a clear winner, you grabbed me by the tie and kissed me, and I thought—” He skipped back from several strikes, spinning delicately off a Rashomon tendril like a gymnast and landing lightly on his toes. “I thought if I let you do that to me, I’d get out of this.”

“Get out of what,” Akutagawa almost shouted, Rashomon driving up through the ground in a minefield of spikes that Atsushi dodged with ease.

“Wow, are you even trying today?” Atsushi asked, landing on the railing just before Rashomon split the metal in two. “Maybe I should just let you kill me and then I can start over, today’s been too weird for me, you’re acting all goofy.”

An enormous Rashomon head reared from Akutagawa’s coat, lunging for Atsushi—who now, didn’t move, planted in place. Seconds before the head would have engulfed him Akutagawa yanked it back, chest heaving, and yelled at him from across the path, “What the fuck are you doing!?”

Atsushi didn’t move, arms still outstretched. “Letting you win?”

“I don’t want to triumph because you let me win!”

“Didn’t stop you at least once,” Atsushi said. “Maybe it was a couple of times. I know I bled out once, don’t recommend that.” He folded his arms. “Today is not going at all like any of them.”

Still breathing harshly, Akutagawa said, “How many todays have there been, weretiger?”

“I told you, I lost count,” Atsushi said, peeved.

“You’ve been reliving the same day? But that’s…” It was a foolish absurdity, but he’d lived through insane ability-related shit too many times to immediately discount it. He straightened slowly, covering his mouth with his hand, and considered this. “Where is Dazai-san?”

Atsushi laughed bitterly. “Out of town, because of course he fucking is. I thought he was off on some Secret Date with Chuuya-san, but Chuuya-san’s still in town, so I don’t know what Dazai-san is doing.” He shrugged, helplessly, and for the first time his voice wavered. “I’ve been trapped in this ability for so fucking long, and I can’t figure out how to get free.”

Akutagawa glanced back at the small measure of damage they’d done to the park, busted concrete and destroyed landscaping, before looking to Atsushi again. “And your detective agency has been no help?”

“Oh, when I tell them it takes about half the day or until Ranpo-san comes back to the office for them to believe it. We’ve tried dozens of things.” He scratched his head and sighed. “I’m so tired, Akutagawa,” he said, softly enough that Akutagawa found himself taking a step closer to the weretiger before he stopped himself.

“Come with me,” he said and turned on his heel to leave.

“The Port Mafia can’t help me either,” Atsushi said. “How do you think I knew Chuuya-san was still in town? Or that you are on a courier mission? You should finish that, by the way.”

“Fool, I am not taking you to Port Mafia headquarters. Stay and stew if you wish or come with me.” He did not look back again…but as he walked away, he heard Atsushi’s footsteps follow quickly until he fell into step beside Akutagawa.

“So are you taking me back to your apartment then?” Atsushi asked. “It was nicer than I pictured, I kind of thought you lived in a dark hole in the ground, to be honest. Maybe the sewers.”

Akutagawa stopped. “You have been to my residence?”

Atsushi kept walking in the same direction but turned and walked backward, so he was still facing Akutagawa. “A few times. You prefer to be fucked in your own bed…I figure that’s what we’re doing? So I can prove it?”

That damnable blush hit him again, hard and fast. “I refuse to believe that I have willingly had relations with you,” he said, poison coating his words, and Atsushi shrugged, walking backward a few more steps before turning around.

“I get it, you don’t believe me, and the only way to figure out if I’m telling the truth is if I’m familiar enough with you to know what you like. Believe me, this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

Akutagawa stewed in silence, because despite what he was desperately telling himself to the contrary, that pretty much nailed it. He didn’t want to allow the weretiger to touch him…but a desperate curiosity had taken root, chewing at the inside of his stomach. And besides, if he didn’t like the direction anything was going, he could just as easily send Rashomon through the weretiger’s heart from his back as he could on his feet.

Atsushi, still ahead, led them both unerringly to Akutagawa’s door. He leaned against the wall while Akutagawa unlocked the door, unsettled by his confidence; and once inside he kicked his shoes off in the genkan and walked into the apartment proper.

Akutagawa glared at him as he slipped his own shoes off. “Stop acting like you own the place,” he hissed, and Atsushi turned around, hands on his hips. The look he gave Akutagawa stopped him in his tracks—and then Atsushi was touching his face, gently tilting it so that his mouth fit on Akutagawa’s perfectly.

Everything slowed to a stop around him.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of taking the weretiger apart in this manner before. He’d certainly thought it, face-down in his bed, face buried in the single pillow and hand shoved between his legs; thought about making the weretiger beg for it, sweet release or death, whichever he preferred—but at no point had his mouth come into it, gently enveloping Akutagawa’s own, their breathing in perfect sync.

He stood stock-still, startled, as Atsushi drew back, licking his lips. “You didn’t bite me,” he said, a little amused, and at that Akutagawa came back to himself, moving forward and grabbing Atsushi by his suspenders. Atsushi’s laugh was cut off mid-stream as he slammed the weretiger into the wall and kissed him again, desperately.

It was deeply, markedly unfair that kissing the weretiger was easier than breathing, that it felt correct. Atsushi laughed softly against his mouth, his hand in Akutagawa’s hair, and he said, softly, “We can do better than kissing, you know?”

Akutagawa bit his lower lip and Atsushi hissed through his teeth, pupils gone to slits and eyes golden.

He knew where the bedroom was and walked Akutagawa to it unerringly, their mouths barely lifted apart. He’d been doing this for how long? How many times had he talked Akutagawa into bed, pushing his coat off his shoulders and pulling the cravat loose, sliding his trousers down his thighs, and kissing the pale skin of his hip?

Atsushi’s fingers were delicate, careful; he knew Akutagawa’s body almost better than Akutagawa himself did, and it was terrifying and comforting all at once. Akutagawa clutched at his coat spread out beneath him on the bed, his other hand over Atsushi’s shoulder and Atsushi hummed, amused.

His shoulders were surprisingly broad. Akutagawa, panting, pressed his forehead to Atsushi’s shoulder, legs spread wide by his hips, the feeling of fullness carrying him through each moment as Atsushi moved in just the way he needed.

Akutagawa twisted against him, and he shifted, voice gone husky with effort; “like that?” and oh, yes like that. He released his coat, both arms wrapped around Atsushi as he kept moving, kept pushing Akutagawa closer and closer to that razor-thin edge. “I wish,” Atsushi’s voice was muffled against his skin, burning hot, “wish you’d remember this for once, at least—” and Akutagawa’s breath was fire in his lungs, he couldn’t breathe and talk and feel like this all at the same time.

It was unfair, it was so unfair that the weretiger could take him to pieces like this and he hated that he wanted it more. Akutagawa hissed through his teeth, “fucking hate you—” and Atsushi laughed, twisted his hips, and pushed Akutagawa double, slamming into him so deep Akutagawa’s eyes all but crossed.

“Fucking hate you too,” Atsushi grunted, and Akutagawa came apart.

-----

Akutagawa’s phone vibrated against the bedstand, and he stared at it. He sat up slowly, looking around his darkened bedroom. He was alone in his bed, the covers neat and unblemished. He looked down at the shirt he usually slept in, and grabbed the front of it, heart beating so hard and fast he was afraid it would come through his ribs. “Weretiger?” he croaked into the silence of the room and received no response.

He staggered out of bed, drank a cup of water from the kitchen faucet, and stared through the wall. He knew without looking that his shoes were the only ones in the genkan. He finally lifted his phone to check the message that had woken him, and as he suspected it was the same message he’d received yesterday morning from Gin, several time zones away with the rest of the Black Lizards.

Akutagawa swiped the message closed and stared in silence at the date on his phone.

1:17, Sun Oct 1.

[colleitheglidingchampionofsumeru]

bsd x gn!reader

They find you "asleep" on the couch after a Argument

Warnings:suicide talk,cuss words (let me know if I missed anything)

Characters:Dazai,Chuuya,Ranpo,Poe,Kunikida,Jouno,Fyodor

Word count:2093

Note:I keep forgetting about the word count xD sorry I'll try and remember if there isn't anything just tell me and I'll get it done but if you don't mind it than don't ^^

please read:please ask me before posting my work on anything else if not at least give me credit

Dazai Osamu

Dazai left after your and his argument you got mad at him because he went a bit to far and when I mean a bit I mean he went over board on trying to kill himself where there where burns on his arms you have took your blanket and a pillow and went to bed on the couch he got back from his walk he went on to calm down and he saw you on the couch "asleep" he put his jacket away and walked to you and poked your cheek and said "dear I know your up and I'm sorry I should of sticked to the lake" you got up and turned but fell and he got you before you fell you huffed he hugged you and nuzzle his face in your neck and you tried to stay mad at him but he kept doing the cute things his does you got up and pushed him and sat on the couch crossing your arms and he picked you up bridal style like this

and went to your shared room and covered you up and said he will sleep on the couch but you just pulled him back and made him sleep on the bed

Chuuya Nakahara

He started to argue with you because you have been hanging with a boy for so long it ended with him pushing you away and walking out mad you took a blanket and pillow and went on the couch to leave him to the room alone he came back he sometimes liked it alone when he cake back you pretended you were sleeping he said "why aren't you in the room?" you ignored him you were still mad at him he thought you were cheating on him all you could think is why would he think that? You both have been together since he was 15 he asked again but saying "if your still mad it's annoying it's been hours-" you huffed and pulled the blanket over your head he said "doll listen I'm sorry it was just a bad day at work- I had trouble killing some guys, if it makes you feel better I almost died- even though you might not think that is good but I mean your mad at me so it was a win win right? Mori had to bandage up my arm- now I look like that dumbass Dazai but not a lot like him I'm sorry I know yout wo were close and all and I am talking shot about him-" you cut him off by throwing a pillow at his face you sat up and told him "you talk to much when you back don't you?" He looked at you and smiled and said "I learn from the best" you smacked his arm and he sat next to you and showed you his arm it was like Dazai's you said "oooooo maybe I should name you Dazai" he replied with "not funny" you giggled and kissed his cheek

Ranpo Edogawa

You two were fighting about how he went on a case and he got hurt well ok the case two of them and yes someone went with him but they didn't fight really (you choose) you and Ranpo don't fight the one time you did was when you had to go on a mission for a long time Yosano told you not to be so mad at Ranpo he did his best and the guy who tried to help kept saying sorry everyone was scared of you because well you are scary when you are mad you were now fighting with ranpo and at work yelling across the room both of you he said something he didn't mean you got up grabbed your jacket and left Dazai tried to stop you but you pushed him away you went out of the ADA's office somewhere away from ranpo anywhere after a bit you realized it was dark you went back to yours and ranpo's room he wasn't there probably at a case you got a blanket and pillow and went to sleep on the couch he cane back and said "your back!" You ignored him he huffed and put down a bag and poked you saying "sugar I bought some snacks" he kept poking you and soon enough you got up and he kissed you over and over again you tried not to laugh but you did ge kept doing it to he said "I'm sorry but I am fine now Yosano help me" you took the bag and he winned you got up and ran and he ran after you for his snacks

Poe Allan Edgar

He was working a bit to hard on a book you told him to stop and rest take a break for a few days but he didn't Karl jumped on your head during the argument Poe looked at him and said your taking her side? you tried taking Karl off but Poe just said to leave all you really wanted was to have Poe take a break you replied with "Poe listen just take a small break please?" He pushed you out with Karl on your head you took Karl off when Poe closed the door you looked at him and you were looking at him you kissed his forehead and said "he'll never take a break from thoes books will he?" Karl nodded and you walked away from Poe's office you went to yours and his house and sat on the couch you layed down and Karl got into a ball near your stomach he fell asleep and you were texting Poe he wasn't answering he came back a few hours later you heard him sigh and say "[name] was right-" he looked at you and walked to you poking you when you look slightly at him he said "I'm sorry" you picked Karl up slightly and sat up you put Karl next to you and you looked at Poe he had his head down saying "I should have listened to you how long have you been on the couch? You looked at him and you both talked a little Poe said "I'll take a break okay? I'm sorry I should of listened to you" you kissed his cheek and said "at least three days please Poe"

Kunikida Doppo

You were being lazy with your best friend Dazai he knew Dazai would but not you he yelled at you about it during work like he did with Dazai you didn't think he would get this mad he than said "I expedited better of you y/n" you didn't want to make him more mad in facted you wanted to leave but he always yelled at Dazai for leaving work or anything like that you were looking down but than the boss came in and told Ranpo a case opened up ranpo than said "I need someone to come with me" you hopped up out of your chair and said "I'll go!" Ranpo got up and walked to you and pulled you up saying "than let's go!" You looked at Kunikida and he was typing at his computer you blow your breath and grabbed you jacket than put it on Dazai waved bye to you and Ranpo you both went on the case you were silent when both got back to Kunikida yelling at Dazai you took off your jacket and you sat down Dazai and Kunikida looked at you Dazai said "oh hey y/n" you waved at Dazai and laid your head on the desk you heard Kunikida sigh after work he said he needed to do something before he goes to the room when you got to your room you took a blanket and and pillow and laid on the couch when Kunikida got back he looked at you and said "what are you doing?" You didn't answer he kept asking the questions he than said "if it is about today I'm sorry Dazai was a bit extra today I shouldn't have said that to you-" he knew you weren't going to bed you have waited for him he bought something to eat for you both you covered your face with the blanket he kissed for head and said "I bought you some food" you than sat up and looked at him he smiled and gave it to you and than sat next to you saying he was sorry again (not sure if any of you says a thanks or not but if you do just add that)

Jouno Saigiku

He kept coming home late all the time you didn't see him most of the time he would leave early come home late he would send someone over to get something if he forgot it the only time you hears from him was him texting you saying he was gonna be late you lost some sleep waiting for him this time you went to his work you knew he forgot something so you brought it for him and something to eat you talked to tecchou while waiting for your boyfriend he said I thought Jouno would send someone to get what he forgot you said "well he forgot something and nobody cane by to get it so I got it for him and something to eat" he replied with "I've noticed he as been at work more than with you it is like he is here 24/7, are you okay? Do you want me to hang out with you after I'm done" you looked down and said "I would love that but he wouldn't like it-" Jouno said "what are you doing here y/n?" You jumped up and looked at Jouno you replied with "fucking hell you are sneaky- but um you forgot your book so I brought it for you and something to eat" he looked over at tecchou and said "is that why when I asked someone to get it they said it wasn't there? And you weren't either" you said "yea-" you handed the things to him and he took it and said thanks you both talked and he said "well I have to get back to work see you later" you looked down and he walked away tecchou said he'll come by later you looked at him and smiled than nodded he ruffled your hair and said "see you than" walking away you walked away and back to the house you and Jouno had you did what you did and tecchou came by you talked to him and Jouno came and he asked what was tecchou doing there tecchou said "I am here to keep her busy and not alone 24/7 Jouno" the two boys were yelling back and forth you got up and pushed Jouno away he asked "what is up with you" you yelled back saying "the thing wrong is you work all day and we only talk is you texting me saying your going to be late I have lost sleep because of me waiting for you" you than put your shoes on and walked out slaming the door and Jouno covered his ears from it after hours you came back Jouno was in the room and you were be quiet as possible and it works you laid on the couch and Jouno cane back and kept saying he was sorry than said "i came back because tecchou said that i haven't been away from you and I didn't see it-" you looked up at him and said go next thing you knew he picked you up bridal style he lead you to yours and his room he went out and made you your favorite drink and gave it to you than kissed your head and said he'll take the next week off

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

He came to the living room and looked at you and said "I thought you would leave" you were on the couch laying down with a blanket covering your face after yours and his fight you have been crying you and him fight a lot but not all the time you didn't even know why you both have been fighting you smelled something and got up you saw him sitting next to you and he our your favorite drink and snack on the table in front of the couch he said he was sorry about the fight and said he didn't even know why the fight started and wiped your tears away and kissed your nose and said "please forgive me I didn't mean it" you smiled

[heaven-s-black-box]

A very Soukoku Christmas- Soukoku

Return to File

Recovery date: Dec 20, 2019

Description: Pretend you're dating me for this family event because you’re exactly the kind of person my parents would hate and i’m really looking to piss them off

Notes: Click here for the sequel- A very Soukoku New Year

Word count: 683

Back to directory

“Hmm,” Dazai hummed raising an eyebrow.

Chuuya looked like he was about to burst, whether from embarrassment, annoyance, or both he didn’t know. But, he had very little patience and would rather ask literally anyone else. But, Dazai was perfect for this, and he didn’t have time to find someone else.

“ I said I need a favor.”

Dazai had that stupid look on his face that told Chuuya he’d never live this down. But at this point, he was willing to do anything to piss off Kouyou. If she was going to pester him about having no love life, he would bring a date to christmas dinner, it was just going to be the person she hated most. 

Chuuya took a deep breath, "I need a date to christmas dinner with Kouyou, but it has to be someone she hates.”

“Awww. Chibi-chan wants me to meet his family? I’m honored! How about new years at my place then?”

“Grrrrr, did you not hear me say I just needed someone she hates!”

“Fine.”

“Look I don’t like this anymore then you do but一 wait what?”

“A chance to annoy dear ane-san, I’d be a foul to pass it up! But, I have one condition.”

“Ugh, I’m gonna regret this. What?”

“You’re trying to piss her off, so I can do whatever I see fit.”

“...could be worse, fine,we have an agreement. Saturday, meet me at Kouyou’s at 7.”

---

“So, where’s this date of yours?” Chuuya could hear the condescension in Kouyou’s voice.

“He’s just running late,” Chuuya grumbled, he hoped Dazai was just late.

Just then the doorbell rang, and just as he had hoped, Kouyou went to open it. She looked so proud, and happy, Chuuya couldn’t wait to see her reaction. Following her to open the door, he felt a bit of panic. Dazai liked to annoy him more than anyone, what if he acted like an angel in front of Kouyou instead of his usual shittyy self (not that it’d change her opinion of him). 

“Welcome to一” by the smug look on Dazai’s face, Chuuya could imagine how Kouyou’s face looked. He let out a small smile before pushing past Kouyou and saying,” Ane-san, this is my boyfriend. I don’t think I really need to introduce him.”

This would be fun.

---

“So, that went well!” Dazai chirped. How he could be so chipper after Golden Demon almost killed him at least twice in the first 5 minutes he didn't know. But, Dazai did exactly what he needed. Between horrible flirting, trying to kiss him (his third brush of death for the night), and asking to stay the night, Kouyou was beyond done with him. 

Chuuya was only aloud to walk Dazai home by insisting it would be rude if he didn’t. Kouyou being who she was had to let him walk Dazai home. At first he had picked Dazai to annoy Kouyou, but now一 now he wasn’t so sure. When Dazai wasn’t trying to piss Kouyou off, he was nice company, he also looked really good cleaned up. Hell he even changed his bandages.

“Uh-oh.”

“What?” Chuuya turned to look up at Dazai.

“Is the slug thinking? You should be careful, you might blow a fuse,” Dazai giggeled, avoiding a kick from Chuuya.

“Anyway, since I helped Slug, Slug should do a favor for me.”

“Who said anything about that?!” Chuuya tried to look offended, although he seemed more flustered then angry.

“I did. So, how ‘bout new years?”

“What, need me to help you piss off Mori?” Chuuya sneered.

“Nope! I had fun tonight, so, what do you say?”

“Ugh! Fine,” he yelled,” but only so I don’t owe you.”

“Sure, sure. Since we’re going out together, wear a Kimono?”

“Like hell I will you shitty Mackerel!” He yelled kicking at Dazai again before storming off back the way they came.

“Hey! I thought you were walking me home?!” Dazai snickered.

“Walk home yourself shitty Mackerel!” 

Ah yes, new years would be fun. And maybe he’d talk with Kouyou about a kimono just to mess with Dazai… just maybe.

[hellcatinnc]

Bungo Stray Dogs Season 5 Anime Review

Includes Spoilers

First part of this season by episode 5 I was disgusted. You see the team get back together well partially and then watch each die. The moment I saw them kill of Akutagawa I went sick. Literally watching them hurt Tachihara irritated me.

They were killing people off left and right and you also saw them all start getting turned into vampires because of Fukuchi that runs the hunting dogs. He is almost invincible I mean I used to think that Fyodor was the worst but this guy is way worse. I would much rather deal with Fyodor, however him killing (knocking him out fingers crossed) Sigma annoyed me cause Sigma grew on me.

I thought Dazai had knocked him off by drowning him to find out SOB still survived. But when that vampire shoved that pole into his stomach I almost rejoiced like if it was the wicked witch dead kinda thing. As time goes on its not hard to see Ranpo is the one controlling most of this season. Its different because he is always the one that only steps up in criminal things but damn this boy taking over and stepping up and being in control and dominant makes him so hot.

Watching Fukuzawa get stabbed broke my heart was so glad it ended up not killing him. Then I had to watch him his childhood best friend which brought me to tears. I hated Fukuchi it felt like no one could beat that asshole not even Jouno.

Is it bad I still feel like Jouno reminds me of saint germain in code realize lol.

I loved how Kenji handle things with Tetchō Suehiro, because he flipped his shit and honestly I had no clue this boy was so deadly he looks so cute all the time. Haha guess you really do have to worry about the sweet looking ones. I mean take Ranpo this season he stepped his shit up so much that I felt like season 4 and 5 gave him a directive of who he was. Not gonna lie though I was worry Kenji would kill him and that would have been a waste cause Tetchō Suehiro is hot.

The vampire king Bram the connection he made to Aya Koda then for you to see its because she reminds him of his daughter that I presume died or he lost. Then when she saves him and he bows before her I loved it he was like I'm lord and count but in this moment I am your knight, that was sweet and honorable too.

I didn't like Akutagawa being a vampire however at the very end when him and Atsushi were taking in that last fight I loved know that Akutagawa was back to his normal self as hot as ever.

I feel like season 5 was all over the place however its a season that keeps you on edge because when you think you know whats going to happen something happens changing that. I will say after all the seasons this is still by far my favorite anime because there are hot guys in it, great voice actors, cool characters and abilities, it has the ability to make me laugh, get angry, get happy, and cry all in one show. Thats not something you find often and for that reason I can't wait for more of this show.

Some other honorable mentions of this season. Dazai of course even though he was behind the scenes alot he was also deep in Fyodor's head and the reason that man is dead. Then psycho dude Nikolai Gogol weird he is a cool looking character but I swear he is sadistic and weird and the reason why the set in motion for the detective agency to get so messed up. He can look cool just wish he would look cool and shut up.

Chuuya pretending to be a vampire was different like to me there wasn't enough Chuuya in this season and I would have loved to see him as a vampire without the stupid red eyes. I thought they really messed up the look of the vampires in that way.

Also this was a cool move Akutagawa did and is it just me but before he became a vampire that man got hotter, maybe its just cause I went season 4 without him and Chuuya for the most part so I became touch starved by these men.

Granted some of the others were in the picture but very little besides Atsushi he is always the heart in the background or in the front and I love him for that. Not to mention when him and Akutagawa fight and he gives the were tiger his power too so bad ass.

Anyways now I get to go through withdraw until a new season however you can plan to see some fan fic some hot and steamy as well as fluff of these sexy men. If you have yet to see it definitely check it out. Its not normally my type but the characters are so relatable, sexy, charming etc you won't want to stop watching.

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs: Dead Apple Movie A "HA?!" commentary, or: A play-by-play of my trying to understand what I watched.

-atsushi is 18? i thought he was 16ish

-i'm gasping in all the right places. it's all so alarming, their abilities turning against them. also what is dazai-san up to (notice how i consider him so sus that he's "dazai-san," not "my man," "my husband," or even "dazai").

-akutagawa is so chill meeting atsushi, lmao, no threat, no anger. lovely.

-interesting how "if dazai-san is to fall into enemy hands, akutagawa would rather kill him himself" but he hasn't counted the agency as enemy hands because he's never expressed this sentiment before

-lmfao, dazai, "meow." what a veiled sassy threat

-snort, literal backstabbing. poor dazai

-i've come to like akutagawa and chuuya so much more compared to the first time i saw them, when they were The Enemy. now, they're our guys from another organization.

-help me, i like dazai and chuuya's interactions so much :")

-dazai hid an antidote to what, death?!

-ARE YOU KIDDING ME, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHAT KIND OF LANDING POSITION IS THAT WITH CHUUYA'S FACE IN DAZAI'S CROTCH, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT!

-i know he just collapses after using corruption, but this is the second time chuuya collapses around dazai and the way he collapses is just. he just. he trusts dazai so much to not harm him in this situation.

-elise-chan is an ability??!??!!

-*cough* will there be a "dazai's plan for dummies" explanation?

-atsushi landed so gently after his tiger de-transformation. adorable

-awww ranpo said he's not gifted :)

-WAIT NO, EXPLAIN! how did you protect the city, dazai?! damage mitigation? oooh wait. apart from damage mitigation Up There -as in, it would happen with or without him- he predicted chuuya would be sent in and that he'd need to be deactivated, and that was the best course of action to get to the point where the baby strays could defeat The Villain?

-oh. i'm looking up my "wtf was dazai's plan" question on reddit and while i'm getting explanations, i'm mostly getting "no one completely understands what the movie is about, but it is fun."

-okay so. dazai pretended to betray us and "joined" the bad guys (only no one actually knows about the betrayal part except the kiddies who also know it was a ploy... or don't know it was a ploy but forgive it? unclear.) in order to stop the fog from within and make sure that whatshisname shibusawa dies. he needed fyodor to create the singularity that would kill shibusawa once and for all because he couldn't touch the abilities himself without nullifying them. he got betrayed and killed by poison, as he expected (that's a very specific thing to expect), and got sucked into the dragon, predicting that chuuya would go berserk in the dragon, would punch him, and would unleash the antidote to the poison (to UNDO his death?! HIS ACTUAL DEATH?! HUH?!) so that dazai could then nullify corruption, then trusting that the baby strays would take it from there and kill WHATSHISNAME shibusawa, thus eliminating the threat that dazai was trying to annihilate. fyodor, meanwhile, got to have fun.

-errr. i mean. it's enjoyable to watch, i had my fun and clearly went insane during the dazai-chuuya interactions, the basic premise was cool, but ho hum, i don't know about the whole dazai plot. and also the baby strays talked about dazai betraying them but NO ONE asks for an explanation or questions him? atsushi says that dazai can leave the past behind once again which yeah sure, but YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE DID OR HOW HE ENDED UP THERE WITH YOU! at that point, they DON'T know about the dragon thing and chuuya's part and so on! HUH?!

-ah, alright. reddit tells me the story comes from a light novel with a different author, not as part of the main manga timeline. then i shall treat it as i do all light novels and spin-offs, as “canon-adjacent but don’t look too closely.” i shan’t look too closely and i shan’t overthink it. reddit has once again come to the rescue.

[autumn-foxfire]

I love Chuuya. In fact, I'd confidently say he's in my top 3 favourite characters next to Dazai and Oda. But I'm so tired of how he's depicted in the fandom.

Chuuya is an amazing character. He's an executive of the infamous Port Mafia. He's Dazai's ex-partner. He's got one of the strongest, if not the strongest, abilities in the manga. He's also probably the most skilled fighter in BSD so far and is known as the Port Mafia's best martial artist. His backstory is tragic and interesting and a goldmine to explore.

And yet these traits are either forgotten or reduced by the fandom most of the time. This week alone I've seen Chuuya turned into Dazai's blushing maiden too many times to count. I've seen his nasty and vicious side ignored and seen him labelled as basically the "good" one in his partnership with Dazai. People treat him like he's the saint of the mafia and gloss over his glaring flaws and what makes him complex.

So many ignore how he egged on Dazai to kill Q because he was mad Q's capture had cost the lives of his men, how in the CD drama he didn't condemn Dazai's training of Akutagawa like so many like to pretend he did, many ignore his anger issues which have gotten him in trouble more times than once. Chuuya isn't perfect and he isn't a saint and that's what makes him so incredibly compelling.

He's kind and trusting (even to his own detriment) but he's also vindictive and impulsive. He's a complex character with many shades to his personality and I'm just tired of seeing him reduced to only one shade of that personality.

[hanazou]

Hi, could I request headcanons for chuuya with a s/o who loves giving genuine compliments whenever they see him, they just can't keep it inside for example whenever they see chuuya they go like"you are so beautiful" and some cheesy shit like that😩✋🏻

𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙪𝙮𝙖 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼 𝙑𝙚𝙧𝙗𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝘼𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧

Word Count : 1.4K

Shelf : Hardback

Genre : Fluff, romance

Note : of course u can darling. smooches xx 💗 he needs it to help with his abandonment issues anyways <3 i hope u enjoy this one ! I still need to practice for Chuuya, I'm not fluent with him as I am with Dazai and Fyodor

There are three approaches to observe how Chuuya reacts and behaves around you; his initial feelings, his first physical reflex, and how he adapts with your behaviour.

Chuuya doesn’t fare well with verbal affection before you start doing this with him. Your frequent compliments will soon stretch his heart’s capacity to be more flexible in both accepting and giving heartfelt compliments, but of course, it has to start slowly.

At first, Chuuya is definitely perplexed and transparently flustered.

If your affections with him start with something subtle, like “I like today’s cologne” or “That was manly of you” Chuuya is still able to afford to mutter a tangled “Huh, thank you” albeit not looking at you in the eyes.

But when it gets more intimate like “Your presence is always so comforting” or “I can always trust you to have my back” and cheesy things like that…

The first thing Chuuya thinks of is why the hell you’re so intent on killing him with embarrassment.

“Why did you say that out of the blue?!”

But should there be a reason? Can’t you just be affectionate with your own boyfriend?

When you say that to him, he stops working.

If your compliments are really, super, cheesy, the type that sends shivers down the bone, Chuuya’s face is a mix of confusion, bewilderment, embarrassment, and slight repulse.

Don’t be offended though, he’s simply not good at taking compliments.

Chuuya wraps his upper arms as if he’s chilly while he stares at you, shocked and dumbfounded, with a face that’s the physical manifestation of “what the f*ck?”.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

If it keeps going on and on for days, he just hisses and clicks his tongue while hiding his red face

There's going to be a stage when he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel, so he’ll resort to convincing himself that he's angry.

It’s ineffective and he becomes more turbulent than ever

All it does is make his temperament easier to poke at, and that doesn’t help with his embarrassment every time you compliment him.

Chuuya raises his voice more often, especially at you, but it doesn't last for long because of how wrong it feels whenever he tells you to shut up.

And on the contrary, the more he thinks about it, your compliments actually make him feel… good?

Yeah, good

His physical reflex is pretty transparent and hysterical. It’s really easy to see right through him and it’s not like he tries to deceive you by faking his reactions either.

After flaring his nostrils and widening his eyes, Chuuya backs off to gather himself together and to get some space--are his ears tricking him or did you actually say his shouts sound nice? Who even thinks of things like that?

He shouts things like “Stop joking around!”

But despite sounding frustrated, the way his eyes crease with embarrassment betrays his ‘anger’.

The way he bites his lips, his blue eyes bulging out, while laboriously breathing loudly, makes you want to tease him more to get more dramatic reactions.

There’s that tiny look in his eyes that pierces into you as if he’s asking you to say more.

When he's at his Angry Stage, his voice is louder than usual and sounds just as fierce and he can never strike a casual conversation, let alone look at you in the eyes.

Best he can do is stare at the top of your head.

While blurting shorter sentences “angrily”

That's the sure sign that he's just embarrassed, in case you're afraid you offend him.

When Chuuya loosens up, which happens by itself without your intervention, you can tease him more and he hides his face under his hat. He growls away from you after snarling at you to stop.

No more pretending to be angry since all it does is confuse himself more.

What if you still shout “You look cute when you’re grumpy!” when he walks away?

He literally walks up a random building to get to the roof to escape.

This is a perfect game of hide and seek.

Nothing childish or straightforward like chasing each other, but Chuuya actively avoids you whenever he can.

He finds refuge in his personal office but alas, you have a spare key.

So he goes to Mori’s office without any prior summoning and tries to strike a conversation with him there, a not-so-smooth one, but discussing future deals with importers does keep Mori’s interest.

Since Mori doesn't like being interrupted, whenever Chuuya migrates to Mori, you're barricaded from seeing him. Not for long though. Just an hour at the most.

When he sees Kouyou, he pretends as if nothing is wrong although there’s no way she fails to notice his embarrassment.

Each time you find him and give more (cheesy) compliments, Chuuyal runs away, and you’ll find him again to tease him. A full circle

If you drive Chuuya to his absolute limit, he pins you against the wall, his gloved hand shutting your mouth. Nothing suggestive, just pure embarrassment and stress boiling out of his ears.

“Will you ever stop!? What do you want?!”

Being partnered with Dazai for several years makes him think that you’re being tricky with him even after you told him you mean nothing bad

When you confess that you really are being genuine, his mouth gapes and he backs off with an obviously embarrassed “Are you kidding me?!”

Eventually, little by little, he gets used to it.

His eyes won’t widen as dramatically anymore and he doesn’t jump away in embarrassment. The grumpiness is still there but it’s cuter than it is hostile.

He responds to your “Good morning, handsome!” by muttering “Yeah, yeah, whatever,”

Chuuya actually likes the attention but he realizes this only after he’s exposed to enough of your affections to get used to them a little, letting the overwhelming embarrassment recede slowly to leave enough space in his head (It happens after he covered your mouth).

He’s not the person to be most familiar with spoken affection after living a life full of uncertainties.

Exposure therapy vibes.

It actually feels nice to have you transparently tell him that you love him. Not that he’ll admit it straightforwardly though.

He gets used to your lovey-dovey treatment for him little by little. His reaction will be the same except it’s much more controlled and less out of reflex.

He previously 'ran' away, but this time, he simply puts a small distance between you both and covers his mouth, looking away.

He previously protested loudly, now he just softly snarls, embarrassment straining his voice.

“Geez, don’t you ever run out of those cheesy words? Where did you learn all that crap?”

When his skin has grown thicker, Chuuya sees each of your compliments as an invitation to a competition on who can make each other more flustered.

He keeps your compliments and affection, recycles them, and throws them back at you.

For example, if you say that he looks dashing under the sunlight today, he’ll double the intensity of the sweetness back at you.

(That is, after thinking carefully about what to say. He's not the best natural flirt)

“Because you’re the sun shining on me, babe. I won’t shine without you glamouring first.”

If you gape with your eyes bulging out and face reddened, Chuuya smirks in triumph.

“Huh, you’re not that bulletproof yourself, babe, think about that before shooting at me,”

If you have a high tolerance for verbal sweetness like this, even for super cheesy lines, he’s determined to kick it up a notch to earn a reaction out of you.

He’s going to be a sweet talker in training.

He does all of those out of the petty reason to get back at you, but sometimes he doesn’t realize what he says until it’s too late in which he flusters himself.

If even that doesn’t work, Chuuya gets physical.

He pulls your cheeks, pinches your nose, squeezes your face, flicks your forehead (and is serious about it), or pokes on your ticklish sides.

If he finds your weak spot, there’s no mercy.

You can laugh until you’re about to faint and he won’t stop messing with you

"How does it feel to be on the receiving end, huh?" He asks so casually cocky while tackling you down.

You don’t realize it, but even though Chuuya’s self esteem isn’t the lowest, it’s not the highest either. He’s just avoiding that topic. So your compliments, no matter how silly or random, makes him feel slightly better under his own skin.

One day, Chuuya will ask how you come up with those praises so easily

If he understands how you do it, maybe he can do the same for you in the future.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Heyyy Had a smol request to make! I really loved the headpat hcs you wrote <33 if possible, could you please write some for Chuuya and Akutagawa too? Take your time! Stay hydrated, and take care of yourself <333

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Chuuya, Akutagawa X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.9K

A/n: When you said that you wanted to send a request I didn't think you meant this lmao. I suffered till I got some ideas XD

I got a bit carried away with Chuu btw🤧

Part 1 with Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo

↬Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

◆I honestly think that having a platonic relationship with this guy is really fun! And maybe even better than romantic.(Don't ask me why cuz that's just another story)

◆He isn't used to have someone as a friend, so this is all new to him and hes still, you know, testing the water.

◆It will take him a lot of time to get used to, well, You; but he will eventually if youre trustworthy and capable enough.

◆He cares for you in his own particular way, and by that I mean that no one is capable to notice it. Not even you yourself; but he does care, and that's what that matters.

"Oh my god I'm Exhausted!" is what you say when you inter the room and throw yourself on the couch, taking a deep breath while relaxing your body. "Mori is planning on killing me by sending me to these death missions! I can feel it! " Turning your head to the silent man who was slowly taking a sip from his tea, you sulked and got upset because he was totally ignoring you. "As I was saying… the damn snipers were shooting at me from everywhere! I nearly got shot in the head if my men hadn't blocked them!" Even a tiny glance was enough for you, but Akutagawa was still silent, pretending you didn't exist at all, and this made you angry. "Oi! Goth boy!" "…" "Fig wasting machine!" "…" "Twenty year old man who doesn't know how to smile!" "…" Knowing him for quite a long time, you knew how to catch his attention, but it was a risk you were willing to take, which you weren't before because you weren't that close in the beginning. "Oi! Coward!" The second those words came out of your mouth, the man looked at you sending daggers through his eyes, while forming a blade out of his coat, ready to attack you. What he was not expecting was for you to smile and move closer to him. "What? Are you a coward?" "Do you have a death wish?" "Then why did you look at me when I called you that?" His blade slowly came down as he stared at you a bit more, then went back on drinking his tea. You rolled your eyes and then turned your head to the opposite direction, and started whining to yourself in a low voice. "Well what am I even expecting from you. You don't care if I even die or anything. I come to your office everyday trying to make conversation but all you do is just ignoring me. You don't even look at me! Like, do you hate me that much? But why? what did I d-" your words were immediately cut off by the sensation of his hand on your head, slowly patting you; And when you looked at him, he was looking back, and not in a threatening way. "Good job" Now it was your turn to be silent. Not because you wanted to get back at him; but because you were caught off guard and didn't know how to react. "Happy? Now shut up and let me have my tea in peaceful silence"

↬Chuuya Nakahara

◆Being in a platonic relationship with this guy is just so entertaining! Hes fun, interesting, brave, cool, etc.

◆But the thing is, hes been betrayed so many times that he just cant fully trust you. He wont show it at all though. He will chat with you, drink with you and stuff, but hes still afraid if youre gonna be like his old "friends" .He will eventually trust you if you two spend time together.

◆But it will take a lot of time, cause he did considered Dazai as his friend for 4 whole years; but then…

◆Anyway, hes literally the best if youre willing to put up with his short temper :)

"I hate everything in this shitty world!" "What now?" you grab the bottle of wine from his hand and drinking it till theres not even a drop left, then throw the bottle out of the window. Chuuya would have been be mad if you weren't this angry and tired, but luckily, you had enough that day. "I say hello and they give me work. I run into them in the hallway and they give me work. work, work, work. What am I? A stupid robot or something?" Chuuya looked at you carefully while opening the next bottle, trying to hide it so you wont snatch this one from him too. "Well, you get paid a lot in exchange, so its kind of fair" "Fair? Fair?" Dramatic as always, you sat next to him while covering your face with your hands, trying to fight the anger that was taking over you. "Making you work like a damn machine isn't fair! And were risking our lives by working in the mafia! I nearly died a while ago on the mission! And do you know what they did? Nothing! Nobody even bothered to sat "Thanks for working this hard" or "are you ok?" or "Well done" or- " "Well done. I'm proud of you" Frozen in the spot, you look at him with surprise and shock, while he gives you a small smile that melts your heart. "Awwwwwwwww Chuuuuuu! Waaaaaaaa!" Throwing yourself in his arms, you begin to cry as you wrapped your arms around him. "I love you so much! what am I supposed to do without you! Waaaaa(crying*)!" Chuuya slowly patted your back as he tried to act smooth and not to blush furiously. "Its ok y/n… its ok"

Reblogs are apprecaited!

[ssamie]

eight. “nakahara chuuya”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and mild violence

masterlist.         suicide freak!

instead of eating out with the team, her lovely afternoon turned into a not-a-date-but-kinda with chuuya 

"yaknow, chuuya.. you haven't changed at all" she commented. she twirled her straw around the glass of her milkshake as she briefly glanced at chuuya from across her 

"hah?! what's that supposed to mean??" chuuya exclaimed angrily 

"i've always wondered about this" she hummed "but where do you get your embarrassing hats?" she asked 

chuuya clicked his tounge as he angrily sipped on his milkshake. "say what you want, vogabond" he said 

"i bet you're still going on and on about suicide despite your age, aren't ya?" chuuya sneered 

"yeah" she nodded 

he sighed and leaned back on his chair. "atleast pretend to deny that" he said 

she sighed and leaned back as well. "what are we doing here, chuuya?" she asked with a huff  "im guessing it's not a date. well, unless it is, then-" 

"shut up! it's a not a goddamn date!" chuuya snapped 

she chuckled and threw her hands up in mock surrender. "chill out, chuuya" she cooed  "and not like i'd care anyways." she muttered "im still chasing after a certain pudding head so i'd rather this be a little reunion, if anything." 

chuuya's scowl softened at her words. his brows nit together as he blinked dumbfoundedly at her. 

"you love someone?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet. 

"i wouldn't say love" she shrugged "more like close friends, im currently convincing him to commit a double suicide with me" 

"oh." chuuya mumbled 

she rested her elbows on the table and placed her chin on her hands. "why did you find me, chuuya." she asked, but with her tone it was more of a demand for the answer 

chuuya didn't reply but simply crossed his legs over the other. he chuckled lowly and leaned in closer to her face. "im here to take you down." he whispered "you and your agency may have fooled and escaped from akutagawa, but not me." 

chuuya grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head closer, so that their noses were touching. 

"im your old partner, after all" he smirked 

"indeed you are" she smirked back 

chuuya grinned, mischief in his eyes as he roughly pulled her head back and tilting it to the left. he then leaned in and whispered something in her ear. 

"what the fuck?" kenma muttered in disbelief 

"old partner?" kuroo muttered in confusion 

a few of the boys, specifically kenma, kuroo, yaku, lev, and yamamoto, were hiding at the other side of the cafe. they were seated by the farthest booth covered by a huge plant, trying to spy on the two. thanks to chuuya's loud voice, they were able to hear bits of the conversation. 

"maybe they were lovers?" lev suggested with an innocent smile on his face 

"who even is he?" yamamoto asked in a whisper 

"well, he could be an ex boyfriend or a friend, we wouldn't really know" yaku said with a sigh 

"he has a point" kuroo sighed "we don't really know anything about her, if you think about it" 

"we don't know what she was doing or who she was with before this" 

"whatever, just shh!" yamamoto shushed him 

"ah! i think he looked at me for a quick second" lev shuddered nervously 

"what?? he saw you??" yaku asked frantically "that's because your head is almost touching the fucking ceiling! get down!" 

"he's looking this way!" yamamoto whisper shouted 

"shut up, yamamoto! you're too obvious!" 

chuuya grumbled as he met eyes with the boys. he briefly glared at them before averting his eyes back to the girl. "those brats are watching us. tch" he said 

"i know" she shrugged nonchalantly. "though, i would advise you not to hurt them" she chuckled

chuuya smirked and stared her down tauntingly. 

"or what?" 

"i'll kill you." 

"ah, i see.." she hummed "you led me here to fight, is that it?" she looked around the deserted alleyway he brought them to. 

chuuya clicked his tounge and nodded in response. 

"well, i appreciate it" she chuckled "i wouldn't want kenma to see such violence" 

"stop babbling about that kenma and fight me!" chuuya scowled as he ran towards her, throwing punches which she dodged. just as he was about to hit her, she grabbed his arm and punched him in the stomach, making him cough out his saliva. 

"you call that a punch?!" he exclaimed as he swung his fist straight to her stomach, sending her back until she hit the wall. 

"it doesn't even count as a massage." chuuya sneered "get up." he scoffed

she sighed and lifted herself up from the ground, stretching her arm and wincing in slight pain. "geez, i thought my blocking arm would get torn off" she said with a soft chuckle 

"she predicted my moves.." chuuya whispered to himself 

"we've known each other for a long time, chuuya. i know everything about you, your moves, your pacing." she said 

"i wouldn't have been a proper partner if not, right?" she said with a teasing smile

"tch" chuuya scowled and threw a punch at her again. 

she groaned in pain as his fist made contact with her cheek. "why are you so weak?" chuuya asked. just before she could fall back, he caught her by the neck, pushing her back against the wall and squeezing hard on her throat. 

"the y/n i know would never be cornered down this fast, this easily." he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "what're you plotting in that head of yours" 

she didn't answer but simply smirked as his grip on her throat tightened. 

"answer me or i'll kill you!" chuuya exclaimed "right here, right now!"

"no you won't." she stated with a carefree smile "after all, i am a former mafia executive. and a current traitor, as you all see me." she chuckled "my execution for those reasons would be the council's desicion"

she smirked as chuuya's expression morphed into one of conflict and distress 

"if you do kill me before that decision without permission, your act will be considered as betrayal" she said "you'll be punished, or worse, executed" she cooed 

"and if i overlook all of those and kill you, you'll still be happy since you still managed to die." he scowled 

she smiled and waved her hand about. "yeah, so go ahead. cmon!" 

chuuya scoffed as she simply continued to pester him. 

"coommmee ooonnnnn~" 

chuuya didn't answer but simply stabbed a dagger straight to the wall beside her head. the blade managed to graze her cheek, letting a lone drop of blood travel down her skin up to the bandages on her neck. 

she chuckled as she watched him stomp off in irritation. "oh, you're not going to?" 

"chuuya driven out of the organization because of me had a nice ring to it too" she laughed 

"shut up." he scowled 

she plucked the blade out of the concrete wall and waved it around with a teasing look on her face.  "well then, aren't you gonna walk me back like a proper gentleman? ~" she cooed 

"like hell i will!" he snapped back. he sighed and turned back around, continuing to make his way out of the deserted alleyway. 

"just shut your mouth and get outta here, you ass" he said as he lazily waved his hand in goodbye. 

"i'll try to find a man or woman willing to kill themselves next time" he said 

in an instant, her eyes sparkled. she looked at his retreating figure with wide eyes and a look of delight. "chuuya!" she exclaimed  "i had no idea you were such a good person!" she said 

"that was my way of saying 'go to hell', idiot!" chuuya barked back 

"let me tell you this, y/n" he said "don't think this will be the end of it." 

"there will be no second chance!" he yelled 

she simply smiled fondly and shook her head "no, wrong!" she sneered "dont you think you're forgetting something?" she called out, making him stomp in anger 

"dont-you-think-youre-forgetting-something? ~" she sang out 

reluctantly, chuuya buckled his knees and pointed at her with a fake bashful look. "there will be no second chance!" he exclaimed in a higher pitched voice, imitating a girl. 

she didn't respond with the proper reply they agreed on, but simply looked at him with a blank smile. 

chuuya blinked back and repeated his words. 

"n-no second chance.. HEY YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING!"

"well, he didn't walk me back after all" she sighed to herself. she was currently making her way back to the agency since kunikida has been calling her nonstop. the megane has been whining about her missing work, while atsushi was simply begging her to come back to keep kunikida calm

on her way back, she passed a convenience store, which had an annoyingly huge amount of people bickering infront of it. 

"oya?" she mumbled 

"what's happening- eh?" she sweat dropped upon seeing yamamoto arguing with a man 

she looked around to meet eyes with kenma, who looked like he wanted to anywhere else but there. kuroo noticed her too and smirked at his friend. "your lady's here, kyanma" he teased 

kenma looked at her, a look of impatience and discomfort present in his face. 

"good evening, everyone!" she greeted loudly 

this caused all three of the nekoma boys, and three of the huge muscular men to look her way. 

"what seems to be the problem here?" she asked with a nonchalant grin 

"oi. walk away quietly before we give you some trouble, girl." the man arguing with yamamoto scowled 

she simply side eyed him before looking back at kenma. "ken-ken, whyre you out so late?" she asked with a smile "i thought you had a new game you wanted to play" 

"well.. they won't let us go." kenma answered quietly, pointing to the men with a frown

she faced the men with an exaggerated pout "why are you bastards causing my pudding trouble, hm?" she asked in a scolding tone 

"y/n-chan.. you shouldn't provoke them" kuroo said with a nervous smile 

"hah?! you tryna act tough, lil girl?" the men laughed "these scoundrels have been loitering in our spot." one man scowled "so we came to teach them a lesson." he grinned maniacly as he lifted the hem of his shirt, showing the gun inserted in his pocket. 

"good grief." she sighed "another angsty gang. this is getting old" she whined  "last time i checked, you didn't own this store so these boys are free to stay here whenever they want" she said 

"and carrying a gun without a liscense is a major offense." she pointed to his pocket. 

she then pushed kuroo, kenma and yamamoto away. "but since you're so hell bent. we'll spare you the trouble." 

"good riddance~" she cooed at the men 

she pushed the nekoma boys by their backs, urging them to walk faster while yamamoto looked back to flip them off. 

"oi oi oi,, not so fast" the men laughed. one of them tugged her back by her arm, laughing once he saw the bandages and the cuts she had on her face from her previous fight with chuuya. 

"a girl like you tryna act tough is laughable. but since you're here, you might as well play nice and be our little toy" 

she grimaced and pulled her arm back, sending them a dirty look. 

"after all, it's pay back for giving us all a headache." he said with a smirk 

"oi! get your filty hands off y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed angrily 

she looked back at him and smiled in gratitude, though she simply tucked her hands in her pockets and ignored them. 

"im afraid i won't be agreeing to your request." she scoffed "we'll be leaving now" she announced as she grabbed yamamoto and pulled kuroo and kenma along 

"get back here, you bastards!" the most bulky man reached out, trying to grab one of them. 

unfortunately for him, the person he manged to grab was kenma. 

"h-hey!" kenma shrieked, trying to pull his arm back 

she stopped in her tracks and immediately ran back to his aid. she pulled his other arm back and shielded him with her body. "hands off." she said with a dark look in her eyes. 

"you little-" the man was cut off as a fist came contact with his face. 

a loud and unnerving cracking and popping of bones could be heard as her fist rammed on his face. 

"my, my.." she cooed, holding her hand up as she watched the man stumble back on the ground. "normally i'd say i'd hate for this to resort in violence.. "

"but that would be a lie" she chuckled 

kuroo, kenma, and yamamoto gulped as they watched the fight ensue. "y-y/n-chan, let's just leave." kuroo says nervously "the guys have guns" he warned 

"correction. one of them has a gun." she said 

the two remaining men laughed at her claim and pulled out guns of their own. "don't get so cocky, little girl" 

she simply ignored them and continued speaking to kuroo, as if it were a normal conversation. "those two blockheads don't have a single bullet in theirs." she said nonchalantly 

the two men gulped as they laughed nervously. 

"only an idiot would point a revolver at someone without a single presence of a bullet in them." she laughed 

"ah, sorry kuroo-san! another correction. none of them have a utile weapon in hand" she chuckled 

kuroo cocked his head in confusion. "then what about him.." he pointed to the man on the ground 

the poor fellow who had to take a gruesome hit was still on the ground, sporting a broken nose and a missing tooth. 

"you see, stuffing a gun in your pocket is pretty stupid!" she scoffed "stupid, stupid stupid!" she taunted. she stuck her tongue out at them and pulled on her eye, teasing them like a child. 

"it'd be easy for the other person to grab it." she said "that being said.." 

she showed them the gun, hanging on her finger by the trigger guard. she smirked and pointed it at the bruised man, ignoring the other two as her finger grazed the trigger. 

"now.. tell me, mister." she cooed "are you the leader of this gang?" she asked 

"y-yes." the man answered reluctantly 

surprisingly, she didn't pull the trigger on him, but simply smiled in delight. "i see!" she exclaimed with a smile "well then, since you're the top dog, i'd say you should tell your little puppies to run off and leave my friends alone!" 

"i-" 

before he could utter another word, she pulled the trigger. but she didn't shoot him of course! she refuses to expose her friends to such inhumane acts. 

"good! im glad to hear that!" she cheered happily, a stupid and giddy grin forming on her lips. 

she thew the gun in a nearby canal and stuffed her hands back in her pockets. "if i see you bothering anyone else again," she trailed off, her grin faltering as an aloof expression loomed her features 

"i'll punch you twice and shoot you five times." 

but as quickly as she it had disappeared, her smile once again came to light. "well then, it's getting late.. bye-bye!" she waved at them 

the men took this as a signal to run, which they did. 

the three nekoma boys looked at each other with a horrified and hesitant expression before looking back at her. 

"y/n..?" kenma called out 

she turned around, her aura softening as her (e/c) orbs clashed with his honey hued ones. 

"well then, let's head home?" she said to them 

"uh.. we were-" kuroo cut himself off by clearing his throat. "we were heading to the train station!" 

"perfect! should i walk you there?" she asked them "the agency is a few blocks down the station so it should be fine" 

"y-y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed "hm?" she hummed back questioningly "marry me!" yamamoto exclaimed, his eyes wide with a pink hue coating his cheeks 

"sorry, yamamoto-kun" she cooed "but marriage is the farthest thing i have in mind at the moment" 

she glanced at kenma, who was too busy silently hissing and glaring at yamamoto to notice even her 

"i do, however, have our double suicide in mind, kenma-kun" she said. kenma stopped with his cat-like hissing and looked at her. "oh.. is that so.." 

"mhm. well then, you all should head back!" she said “but kenma, you should stay with me!" she proposed 

"why?" kenma sweatdropped 

"we could have loads of fun back in my place! you'll love that, won't you?" she asked excitedly. she hugged his arm close and rested her head on his shoulder, thus making walking a bit hard for them, but she didn't mind. 

"no." 

"aww! we could share the bed, and have-" 

"oya oya~" kuroo cooed "am i hearing this correctly~" 

"y/n-chan!! marry me instead! I'd love to stay at your place!" yamamoto cried 

"ke-n-ma~ what do you say?" she cooed, blatantly ignoring yamamoto. kenma grumbled and looked away from them. he tried to pull his arm away from her, but failed. 

"how are you guys acting so normally?" he asked "are we not gonna talk about y/n just beating up some guy and firing a gun?" 

"nope!" she hummed 

"what we will talk about, however, is my proposal of staying at my place!" she whined "i could please you all night long-" 

"im walking away now." kenma announced as he pulled his arm from her and fastened his pace 

"wait! i was talking about games and movies!" she reasoned out with a laugh "kenma!" 

"i am walking away. goodbye." 

im so bad at writing fights smh 😔

[gaoau]

a God to forgive your deeds hasn't yet been created

theory of the two demons warnings — none word count — 2.7k note — epilogue 😝😝

prev. — next.

"hey, Dazai!"

thundering footsteps behind him bring Dazai to a halt in the middle of the hallway. he figured this was bound to happen, but he didn't expect it to be only three hours after the fact. he sighs, shoulders slouching while he takes lethargic steps to turn around and face a charging bull. Chuuya's war cry grows louder. in the blink of an eye, he's snatching his partner by the collar of his shirt with one hand. he swings back his right fist and strikes Dazai across the face. the impact is powerful enough to nearly give him whiplash, snapping his head to the side.

it's quiet. the silence rings in Chuuya's ears while waiting for a reaction—anything. blood trickles down Dazai's nose and he sticks his tongue out when it reaches his lips. it hurts; his cheek throbs and he has never liked pain. "now, what could this be about?" chuckling, he turns to look Chuuya in the eye.

"what is this about?" he growls, slamming his fist against his face again. blood splatters on the floor. "that was about [Name]! and this—" he lets go of Dazai's shirt to throw a left hook, "—is about the puppies!" it elicits a grunt that he purposefully cuts off with one last punch. when he takes a step back to assess the damage, Chuuya can't even celebrate Dazai's bruising nose or the stained bandages over his eye.

it doesn't matter. whether he beats Dazai or anyone else to death, it doesn't matter. the dead don't cry or resent or feel. the dead don't care and that's most likely why [Name] killed themself. not that Chuuya understands. he can pretend he does all he wants, but he knows he'll never come remotely close. he's just here, punching Dazai in a futile attempt to avenge the poor puppies that didn't deserve such a gruesome death or even [Name]. but Nakahara Chuuya is alive and Nakahara Chuuya is more human than Dazai will ever be and Nakahara Chuuya is feeling.

"you let [Name] die!"

he's feeling so, so angry.

his hands are grasping his shirt again before he can realize it. he shakes Dazai as if he could knock some sense into that superhuman brain of his. "you let them die right in front of you, bastard! they were right there; you could've stopped 'em and you fucking didn't!" he grits his teeth to hold himself back from inflicting more damage. he's wasting his breath. Dazai Osamu doesn't believe in anything, after all.

"of course i didn't. it's what they wanted. i know how that feels."

Chuuya feels his breath get caught in his throat. if Dazai doesn't believe in anything, what the fuck does he know about empathy? "then why are you still here?"

now that's a funny question to ask. Dazai chuckles quietly at himself. the cursed smile pulling on his lips is heavy. "you really shouldn't be mad i let them die. you should be livid i killed them."

"hah?"

"only a demon can kill a demon."

the silence is deafening. Chuuya doesn't get it. he probably never will. he doesn't know about rotten theories in unread books. he doesn't understand. "you should just get it over with and join 'em." clicking his tongue, he chucks Dazai on the ground. he scowls at him for a second. then he turns his back on him, hissing, "go apologize to them for failing as a mentor."

Dazai watches from the floor while his partner storms away. he sniffles, wiping his nose clean of blood. it stains his fingers. he can't tell if he failed or if he was a little too good at his job.

making his way to his office, Chuuya tries to calm his anger and regulate his breathing. he mutters curses under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists to ignore the urge to go back and land one last blow to Dazai's face. he huffs, shoving both hands into the pockets of his jacket.

through his gloved fingers, he feels something solid that wasn't there before. he pulls it out, humming in confusion. then he stops dead in his tracks while staring blankly at the leather choker on his palm. time seems to freeze. eons pass by while he forgets how to breathe. a burning pain settles behind his eyes. he bites down on the inside of his cheek. with shaking fingers, he secures the buckle around his neck.

he could never see this scheme working out for anyone. (he should have knocked on wood.)

"oh, by the way," Ango pipes up, a note of surprise ringing on his exclamation. he cranes his neck to look Dazai in the eye. "my condolences, Dazai-kun." he offers him a polite bow of his head, making Dazai hum in confusion. Ango stares at his raised brow with a grimace. "i'm adding to [Surname] [Name]-san's files on their suicide. they were your student so i thought i'd say something."

Dazai blinks perplexed at Ango's words. it's already been more than a week since [Name] killed themself. it's still in the back of his mind, but he tends to forget it most of the time. he's more surprised at the timing rather than at Ango's heartfelt condolences. it seems he has a lot of work if he's only now getting to documenting [Name]'s suicide. a part of Dazai would like to argue that there's no need for [Name]'s files to become even longer. they're just another Port Mafia casualty, ending up in Ango's life records solely because he cares enough about people that once had a life.

flicking his finger against his whiskey glass, Dazai offers his friend a nonchalant shrug. "well, we weren't friends. this sort of thing happens all the time."

it's a somber statement. the moment it enters Odasaku's ears, he feels a shiver crawl down his spine, but he doesn't let it show. this is the first he's hearing about [Name] dying. he side-eyes Dazai, scanning the faint quirk on the corner of his lips. it's a somber smile, one that only someone who's lived thousands of years in solitude could wear at the prospect of suicide; one a child like him hurries to plaster over his face so he can swallow back his tears. Odasaku doesn't say anything.

suddenly, Dazai claps his hands twice. the sound echoes in the bar and makes Ango jump in his seat. "alright, pop quiz time!" he announces, stretching his smile into a childlike grin. the chirp in his voice feels out of place. "why does death avoid me? don't be shy, there's no wrong answers!"

Ango frowns briefly, because Dazai always finds a way to throw him for a loop. he gives the question some thought, sipping from his drink. then he answers, "because you're sloppy, Dazai-kun. if you actually wanted to kill yourself, you already wou—"

"ah ah," Dazai interrupts, "have you ever tried to kill yourself, Ango?"

"no, of course not!"

"then bzz-bzz! that answer is wrong!"

"you just said there's no wrong answers!"

"and there aren't! but yours is very wrong, you should probably try to study a little more before a quiz…"

"that's not how pop quizzes work!"

Ango curses under his breath and bites his tongue when he realizes the youngest executive in the history of the Port Mafia has once again playfully pushed all his buttons. Dazai's cackles resonate around the bar, shoulders bouncing with amusement.

why does death avoid me? the question still hangs in Odasaku's ears as his two friends banter. he knows about [Name], even if he doesn't understand. "you know why," is all he manages to say. it's startling. silence floods the establishment instantly. when he looks into Dazai's eye, he finds swallowing darkness staring back at him, baffled. that is not an eye. that is a bottomless pit.

after a second too long of holding his stare, Dazai raises his arms in mock defeat. "right, right, i'm a fool."

"no. your desire to die will never be fulfilled, the same way everyone else's desire of i don't want to die also won't be fulfilled."

this is a conversation they've already had. Dazai wants to burst out laughing and crying at the same time. he can't read Odasaku at all. he never expected Oda Sakunosuke, of all people, to use his own play on words against him.

he hums, pondering. "next question, then. why did [Name] die?" he turns on his stool to fully face Odasaku. it's a challenge against his psyche as much as it is a defensive spear.

but Odasaku stays quiet. words are not to be trusted, especially not those of a writer. he can't give Dazai the answer he wants and Dazai seems to understand that. no matter what he says, it won't disrupt Dazai's world. it's better for him to stay silent. he knows there's nothing he can offer this lonely child on the verge of tears. "your drink's getting watered down." but he says it anyway.

"ah, crap, you're right!" Dazai instantly scrambles to gulp down his whiskey before the ice melts more and dulls the taste on his tongue. 

after a moment of awkward silence, Ango tries to make his way into the conversation again. "they had a father," he says, remembering the status of [Name]'s relatives, "he hasn't been informed yet, has he?"

"yeah, isshin-san will take care of that sometime. she's been busy these past few days 'cause she's quitting the mafia." with a simple shrug of his shoulders, the mood relaxes again. just three drinking buddies enjoying their night.

maybe [Name] isn't just another Port Mafia casualty. the ripple effect is larger than Dazai could have imagined. he starts thinking he should consider the people around him a little more. he'll have plenty of time to mull it over in his head when three friends in a bar become two, then one, then none.

Nakajima Atsushi can make himself small enough for Dazai to almost not notice him. He figures it's because he got used to that loud, rumbling anger always looming nearby to act as a beacon. Atsushi doesn't have anything so obnoxious hanging from his shoulders, which explains why Dazai could walk past him if he wasn't paying attention. Even as he stands next to him, his presence is small. It makes sense for someone like Atsushi.

When picking this boy up from the riverbank, he never thought he'd remember ire from four years ago so vividly. But he looks at Atsushi and sees how he hides his face in his knees when he's upset, how he doesn't take up any space at all, how he feeds stray dogs despite claiming to not like them. He sees in him more of [Name] than he cares to admit. He sees that Atsushi is just a kid.

It doesn't haunt him. It simply tells him he shouldn't stress Atsushi out too much. It's with his abnormal thoughts that he tries to never forget the voices of the dead.

When the elevator doors open on the Agency's floor, Dazai glances at Atsushi with a pressing smirk. He raises a brow at him, confused as to why they aren't stepping out. Then Dazai asks, "So?" Atsushi stares back at him with furrowed brows. "Go on, Kunikida-kun's waiting for you."

"Ku—"

"You should listen to your senpai when he talks," he chastises in a playful, light-hearted tone.

"You didn't mention anything, Dazai-san."

"I didn't?" In mock surprise, he covers his mouth with his bandaged hand. His eyes are wide and innocent as he walks towards the Agency's door. "Must have slipped my mind." He shrugs his shoulders carefreely, a grin curling his lips while he giggles mischievously.

Atsushi trails behind the senpai he should listen to. He sighs, exasperated, "Dazai-san, please tell me in advance if there's a meeting…"

"Now, now, Atsushi-kun," Dazai's voice trembles with laughter, "you know how forgetful I am. Sometimes I even forget I should breathe."

Atsushi doesn't retort while they both stand at the Agency's entrance. As Dazai reaches for the handle, Kunikida's aggravated screams travel all the way from the other side to slap his two tardy coworkers across the face with fear. "Where are those two?! They're already eight seconds behind schedule! This is Dazai's doing, isn't it? I swear, when I get my hands on that scrawny neck of his, buying bandages will be the least of his worries."

"Oh, well, seems Kunikida-kun's mad you're late, Atsushi-kun. Might wanna hurry inside. Go, go."

"But you—"

"Let him know I'm busy trying out this new pufferfish dish that may or may not kill me, alright? Alright, thanks, counting on you! Bye-bye!" He's already sprinting down the stairs before Atsushi can properly react. He figures he'll stress him out just a little, though.

Yumeno Kyuusaku has been wondering for four years why [Name] suddenly stopped visiting them. they remember the last conversation they shared so clearly that they can recite word for word all they said to [Name] and all [Name] answered back. it's been four years. back then, they bawled and kicked their feet and asked through the knot in their throat just where [Name] had gone; just why they had abandoned them without warning.

when Mori releases them from their confinement, they find [Name] has been dead all along.

on any other day, they'd kick up a fuss over being assigned a mission. they don't want to hurt themself for the mafia's sake anymore. but if they get to take revenge on Dazai for killing their older sibling, then Q doesn't care. they'll gladly do everything in their power to pull Dazai down and tear him apart.

they hold on tightly as the train starts leaving the station. the look on Dazai's face while he assesses the chaos Q caused in just a few seconds fascinates them. "your new friends are so fragile, Dazai-san," they call, cackling, "[Name]-chan never needed your help against my ability, remember? it's okay, though! i still look forward to breaking you! i'll make sure to hurt you and break you lots!"

the scowl on Dazai's face is one Q wants to wipe clean, shatter it into pieces so the only expression he can make equals the same pain he made them go through. Dazai knows [Name] would pounce on his neck if they heard him hiss, "i won't capture you next time. i'll rip your heart out," but it doesn't really matter, because Q is not just a kid. they're a walking catastrophe and he doesn't regret confining them. Mucchan is just a child, swims through his ears again, and he understands now why [Name] said that, but it's not true.

"[Name]-chan told me i could destroy the whole world if i wanted to, so i'll start with you, yeah?! let's play again, Dazai-san!" Q waves as the train speeds away. the childlike beam on their face shines bright enough for [Name]'s freedom.

Q is definitely not just a kid.

Fyodor Dostoevsky is a demon.

back when they both teamed up with Shibusawa, moments before getting shot, at a fancy café, and even now trapped in a cell. Dazai has known all along that Fyodor is the demon sent out to kill him. he hears [Name]'s words pricking him in the back of his head like a needle. you'll meet your match. he expected as much, so it's not surprising. it's just impossibly bitter.

he has no choice but to win against Fyodor, whether he likes it or not. he doesn't want to admit that an angry kid's wishes will come true. only a demon can kill a demon, and when he does, it will be very lonely at the top.

[Name] was right, Dazai realizes, he'll sleep forever in isolation.

note — i couldnt help myself from writing sankoichi. angos so funny dude anyway thats a wrap ig. thank you for coming on this adventure with me. honestly i enjoyed writing dazai so much and hopefully you enjoyed reading my take on dazai. in the many many years ive been in this fandom, ive been liking him on and off, but tbh i actually really like him and digging my fingers into his brain has not only made me like him more, but also i felt really bad writing these last two chapters. crazy how this shit works lmao thats the end of that. drink water yall have day bye (next ch is a beast au bonus ch btw)

—あごす (agosu) • 2022

[nolongerwrites]

Lemme just repost this because my dumbass deleted it by accident a couple of weeks ago 💀

I know the lyrics are misplaced I’m too lazy to fix it rn

How to disappear

“Cuts on his face 'cause he fought too hard”

“I know he's in over his head”

“But I love that man like nobody can”

“He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again”

“I watched the guys getting high as they fight For the things that they hold dear”

“To forget the things they fearThis is how to disappear...”

It had been almost 4-5 years since you’d last seen him. Last you’d Seen the way he’d smile at you when you would walk in the room. The way you would wrap your arms around him from behind when you thought he least expected it, the way you’d cuddle up against him at night like it was the only way you could sleep, the addictive kisses you’d share when no one was watching.

Dazai and you were inseparable. Everyone in the port mafia knew you two were basically connected at the hip. They would talk about the way you two would sneak off and do god knows what when you were supposed to be working. But that was a long time ago. When he disappeared leaving only a note on what had happened and why he needed to leave, it felt as if your whole heart had been torn up to pieces and set on fire.

You were mad. Upset. Confused. Why didn’t he take you with him? Had everything you’d done together and the time spent with each other meant nothing?

You knew odasaku was his best friend but weren’t you also? It may have been selfish of you to think that way but After Dazai’s disappearance you fell into a deep state of depression. You became a completely different person from the way you carried yourself to the lack of sympathy for others. Everyone in the mafia stood clear of you even on assignments and in the halls of the mafias headquarters.

You killed without a second thought unlike before and It didn’t matter who it was you were interrogating, if they didn’t speak up the first time you tortured them until they spilt the info you were looking for only for you to kill them off brutally.

You had become one of the most dangerous and ruthless executives the mafia had, even chuuya wouldn’t try and mess with you.

“Cry on his shoulder 'cause life is hard”

“The waves came in over my head”

“What you been up to, my baby?”

“I haven't seen you 'round here lately “

Fast forward those painful years and here you were now, On your way to inspect a wear house down at the port that supposedly had some suspicious looking figures lurking around it.

Mori had assigned you to just take a look at take out anyone who didn’t look like his men. But

halfway there, as you were driving in one of the cars belonging to the mafia, you had gotten a call from chuuya.

You picked up your phone and answered it hoping it was just another assignment so you could go home and sleep. You were awfully exhausted.

“What’s up” you stated blankly as you turned a corner. “You might wanna come back. Mori specifically asked for you..” chuuya sounded like he was nervous to talk to you. More than normal. “I’m already half way there can’t he wait-“ you were cut off as chuuya called your name sternly.

“ we have a prisoner that needs to be interrogated, a former mafia member..” there was a pause on your end that racked his nerves to the core, yet he continued on.

“... you can probably take a guess who it is...” the car had stopped before he could even finish that sentence. Your grip on the steering wheel was insanely tight, you were surprised you hadn’t broke it already. Blank clouded eyes stared on into the empty road in front of you and as a few minutes past, you could hear chuuya clear his throat which prompted to snap you out of your daze.

“I’ll be right there.” Was all you said as you hung up and turned your car around. Something inside you said you knew exactly who it was

“All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't”

“You just crack another beer”

“And pretend that you're still here”

“This is how to disappear”

Your footsteps echoed through the hall with every slow step you took. You were full of every kind of emotion you could possibly feel. Your ability felt like it was going to erupt like a bird set free from its cage. With every new step you took, your body was telling you to go back. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. But this was the job you’ve devoted yourself to, and you weren’t going to back out now. Chuuya had warned everyone in the building before you got there so the halls were practically empty.

They’d heard the rumors about you and they didn’t dare cross your path in a situation like this. Before you knew it you were in front of the door to the dark, empty brick room used to interrogate.

You took a deep breath a few times in an attempt to calm the beast inside you. You counted to three before slowly opening the door to the room..Dazai stood there chained to the wall by his wrists, waiting for someone to walk in. Of course being dazai, he was singing some song about a double suicide. It had been a while since anyone had come down here. Worst case scenario, that short asshole Chuuya would come down and maybe give him a punch or two (or more likely try and kill him).

What he didn’t expect however, was to see your silhouette standing at the top of the stairs. The second he saw you standing there, in your black, ankle long skirt and grey ruffled blouse that slid off your shoulders exposing the skin of your collar bones and neck which was covered in black cloth like a choker, dazai felt his whole body freeze.

“This is how to disappear”

His eyes were wide with shock as you stepped foot by foot down the stairs. The black heels you were wearing clicked and echoed through the musty room. Before he knew it you were only about 3 feet in front of him.

You never lost eye contact with dazai even as you stopped directly in front of him. Nothing was said. The silence was deafening. It wasn’t until he let out a shaky breath and looked to the floor, that his smile from before returned. When he looked back up to you he could see the pain and mixed emotions behind those empty eyes.

The same eyes that would look at him lovingly the nights the both of them spent in his bed together. The same eyes that told him countless times that they’d loved him more than words could describe. The same eyes that had touched his heart like no other person could. It hurt him to see that they were so empty and clouded now. A distant gaze that would have him dead if looks could kill.

“Its been a while hasn’t it? You’ve gotten taller..” but before he could continue on about the things that had changed about you, His cheek felt like it was on fire. You were standing directly in front of him in a split second, hand colliding with his face as dark purple serpent created of smoke and poison manifested behind you standing almost 12 feet tall.

but it only stood there unmoving no matter how many times you commanded it to attack. Your hand colliding with his cheek again in a fit of rage.

Before he could even react, your knee reached his abdomen in a striking kick to the gut. Hit after hit, you kept going until you could no longer hold onto the pure raw emotion that was going through your head. And for the first time in years, Your grunting turned into sobs, and sobs into screams.

You hit him until your last punch was nothing more that a slight push. You felt weak. Tears had been streaming down onto your shirt and they wouldn’t stop. Dazai spit some blood on the floor before turning his gaze to you again. You were facing the floor as your body shook and trembled with every sob that wracked through you.

“‘it’s been a while’? ‘ITS BEEN A WHILE’??! Really dazai?! That’s ALL you have to say? After what you put me through after you left!? After everything we did?? That’s all you have to say..?!?”.

Dazais heart felt like it was shattering. When you looked back up to him he saw your puffy red eyes and face. The pain from your assaults were nothing compared to the look you were giving him as salty tears rolled down your cheeks. He said nothing.

Even as the blood from his head dripped onto the floor between you both. In almost a second, the chains and cuffed that kept him against the wall were broken and before you knew what had happened he enveloped you in what was literally was a bone crushing embrace.

You screamed and hit at him in an attempt to push him off you which only made him hold onto you tighter. The serpent faded away with his touch and disappeared into the air. You eventually stopped hitting him as your knees felt too weak to hold your body up.

You both dropped to the floor. Dazai did not once letting his grip slack, even as he carried all your weight. He buried his face into your hair as he rocked you back and forth with each cry you let out.

It wasn’t until you slowly put your hands on his back did you feel his own tears fall onto your shoulder. “I’m so sorry... I’m so so sorry...” dazais voice was barely a whisper in your ear. “I loved you so much dazai... I loved you more than anything... why didn’t you take me with you...?” you gripped his coat as you continued to cry in his arms.

“I’m sorry...”

“The California sun and the movie stars”

“I watched the skies getting light as I write As I think about those years”

“As I whisper in your ear”

“I'm always going to be right here”

“No one's going anywhere..”