#this was supposed to be shorter but then chuuya decided he wanted to pick on dazai and honestly how was i supposed to deny him that?

[great-master-airplane]

Hi! For the fic prompts, how about #20[things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear] with either Dazai/Chuuya or Dazai/Chuuya/Sigma?

Thank you so much!!! I went with Sigskk for this one because I just couldn't resist <3

20. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

Dazai and Chuuya were holding hands.

They were pretending they weren’t. Bickering and pinching meanly at each other’s fingers, but Sigma had eyes. He could see that even with one of them scowling and the other one sneering that they still refused to let each other go. They still held on, even as their façade began to blur, as if letting go just wouldn’t make sense.

Sigma drifted behind them, watching the way their hands swung between them. Everything with the infamous Soukoku just seemed so natural. They gravitated toward each other until the rest of the world faded away, and Sigma along with it.

Chewing on his lip, Sigma fiddled with his own hand. His fingers felt the same as they always did, long and familiar even with the fuzzy purple gloves keeping them warm. He tried to think of the last time he held somebody else’s hand and came up empty. He could think of all the times somebody had grabbed his hand, but he didn’t think any of those instances really counted.

Nikolai had snatched up his hand to drag him along with whatever whim had happened to grip him at the time.

Atsushi had held onto his hand as Sigma had dangled thousands of feet above the world, about to plummet to his death from his beloved Sky Casino.

Dazai had once held his hand as he spun him around in a ridiculous dance while they were racing against the clock in a death game.

Fyodor had taken his hand in a ploy to overwhelm him with information, to both impart his endless secrets and hopefully kill Sigma in one fell swoop.

Sigma had never held somebody’s hand because he’d wanted to. It had always been somebody else’s choice, for one pointless reason or another. It had never been just because Sigma’s hand had been there to hold.

… He wanted that. He wanted that so badly.

“You want what, Sigma?”

Sigma snapped back to himself abruptly. At some point, he’d stopped walking, but neither Dazai nor Chuuya had left him behind. They’d doubled back to rejoin him, and now Dazai bent to the side a little to peer right into his face. He wore a smile, but his eyes were curious, calculating. He was searching Sigma, trying to figure out what was wrong, and Sigma wished he could give him a clear answer.

“I—” The words caught in Sigma’s throat. I want to hold your hand. Both of you. For no reason other than because I want to.

But I’m afraid that you don’t.

Dazai’s eyes briefly widened, as if Sigma had spoken aloud rather than thought those words to himself. His expression grew blank, and he stood back up as if he’d been spooked upright by something frightening. When he didn’t say anything, Sigma understood that his unspoken desire had been too much, too… impossible.

“I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I… want to stop and get some coffee.” Sigma gave a meager shrug, feeling both helpless and stupidly sorry for himself. He expected that Dazai would take the out that he’d been offered and drop the subject. Let Sigma lick his wounds in silence and wish for a deeper connection where there would never be one.

What he wasn’t expecting was Chuuya.

“Coffee? We can do that.” Chuuya reached over to take his hand, and Sigma swore he could still feel the heat of his skin even through two layers of gloves. “But I’m deciding where we go, all right? You can’t trust that bastard to pick out a good place for coffee. He’d have you drinking shit that tastes like dishwater from a paper cup.”

“Chuuya! How cruel of you!” Dazai whined. He pushed out his bottom lip in an overdramatic pucker that only managed to make Chuuya roll his eyes, clearly unimpressed with his theatrics. “Stop trying to embarrass me in front of Sigma! You’ll just grow shorter!”

“Hah!? That doesn’t make any fucking sense! Don’t bring my size into this!” Chuuya’s fury vanished quickly, replaced by something sharp and smug that made his blue eyes shine triumphantly. His mouth curled into a mean smirk, and Sigma swore he saw the briefest flicker of fear cross Dazai’s face. ���At least I didn’t spend the past ten minutes trying to figure out how to hold Sigma’s hand! See, mackerel? It’s fucking easy.”

To demonstrate his point, Chuuya lifted their joined hands and gave them a small wave through the air. Sigma watched for a moment before Chuuya’s words finally sunk in, and he felt his chest tighten. He turned from Chuuya to Dazai searchingly and found that Dazai’s whole expression had changed. He still wore his usual mischievous smile, but an unfamiliar panic had filled his eyes before he could successfully shutter his emotions.

Sigma stared at him, the hopeful flutter of his heart both welcome and entirely foreign. He wasn’t used to wanting something within his reach, something he only had to stretch his hand out and take, and he had to wonder if he was really allowed. What if he’d misunderstood somehow? He didn’t think he’d be able to bear it if he reached for Dazai only to be rejected after all.

Chuuya’s fingers squeezed his, the silent encouragement welcome and needed. Holding Chuuya’s hand made Sigma feel like he could do anything, and he was curious if holding Dazai’s hand would make him even more invincible.  

Only one way to find out. Sigma breathed in. Breathed out. His heart raced, and he could feel his whole arm trembling as he reached out to take Dazai’s hand.

Dazai sucked in a sharp breath. He might have been trembling, but Sigma couldn’t figure out if that was from the cold or something else entirely. He’d been the only one of them not to wear gloves despite the wind’s frigid bite today, so Sigma slotted their fingers together and hoped that would be enough to warm him.

“See?” Sigma echoed, his voice weak and wobbly. He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat and tried again. “Easy.”

Dazai stared at him for a long moment, his eyes blank, before his shoulders sagged in such stark relief that Sigma felt it echo in his own chest. He squeezed Sigma’s hand, pouting, and lamented, “Is Sigma going to start being mean to me, too?”

“Only when you deserve it,” Sigma found himself teasing back, and beside him, Chuuya huffed in amusement.

“He always deserves it. Come on, let’s go get some fucking coffee. My treat.”

“Aw, isn’t Chuuya so sweet? No wonder he’s so short! He must have melted during yesterday’s snowfall!”

“Shut the hell up already, mackerel! Just because Sigma’s here doesn’t mean I won’t kick your stupid ass!”

Their hands still joined, the three of them fell into step together. They took up most of the sidewalk, but Sigma couldn’t bring himself to care about what other people might think. He simply listened to the two of them bicker about nothing, about everything, and marveled at the wonderful weight of their palms pressed against his.

Chuuya had been right about one thing—nothing had ever felt easier.

[jjk-anime-horray]

The Ghosts

Dazai Osamu x reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the would, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: You wake up in an unfamiliar place after the indecent at the gala.

Trigger Warnings: Emotional trauma, mentions of extreme violence, mentions of emotional distress, mentions of illegal activities, and strong language.

Previous Chapter: Fists colliding and Fancy Collections

Waking up and opening your eyes too look up at a ceiling that was completely unfamiliar made you spiral into an instant panic for very obvious reasons.

Shooting upwards sitting up you that clench your head as it starts to pound on the inside, when you were done your removed your hand for your eyes to align on certain tall man you've come to know as Oda Sakunosuke by Dazai. But, you weren't going to be the one to think about much considering after you sat up your head started to throb causing you to let out of groan of discontent.

"You shouldn't make any more sudden movements (Y/N), your'e concussed from the explosion."

You try to think back to the auction, the boom sound! That must have been it! It was also the last thing you remembered before waking up, the blast must have knocked you out.

"Why am I here? And what happened after the explosion Oda?"

"So I'm going to assume that Dazai told you my identity."

"Yeah."

"I was tracking the same group that you were trying to get a lead on, they are also the same people that set of the explosion, but with that they also revealed themselves very publicly."

"Well, who are they?"

"The people who resurrected me."

"Well, I mean why else would you be going after them? I knew that much. Like who are they?"

"They call themselves the ghosts."

"WOW, that's REALLY creative."

"I can literally hear the sarcasm dripping form your voice."

"Congratulations Sherlock mystery solved."

"Are you always like this?" but he internally already knew the answer to that. "The name the ghosts as uncreative as it sounds is pretty accurate of a description, considering from what i've discovered most of them where formerly dead assassins, spies, or something of the illegal sort."

"Did they mean to reveal themselves publicly?"

"No actually the auction was by invite only but a reporter snuck by security, and because of that the ghosts basically outed themselves as terrorists accidentally."

"I wonder who in that group actually thought bombing an art auction would no be seen as terroristic."

"It was there backup plan, I intercepted some of them backstage looking for something, then things got complicated......" He exclaimed this while rubbing the back of head, probably because he trigger the group to cause a lot of chaos and felt bad for it.

The chaos that lead to a bunch of the auction goers hurt by being blown up. Wait, was Chuuya alright? He was just as close to the blast as you were!?!?

"Is Nakahara alright?" You say trying to hide your adamant concern from the man sitting in front of you.

"Yeah he's completely unscathed, from the blast anyway, right after the blast he went chasing after the assailants, but I haven't seen him since."

Well that's sort of a relief you thought, you wouldn't want Dazai's rival/best-friend/enemy to die while you were there, you know Dazai has already been through enough, and you just want to help him heal. Wait how long ago was the auction anyway? Did you just disappear from the agency for god knows how long, and by the looks of it you didn't have your phone on you.

"How long have I been out?"

"About a day, a little less."

"One day just about."

"ONE DAY!!! I need to use your phone to call someone to pick me up, no one knows where I am."

"That's actually not true I called Dazai and told him the situation you were in, i'm not going to be jerk and freak out the agency for no reason. You also have life 360 on your phone so......."

"But wait! I don't have my phone right now."

"Oh you don't, but I do it was in your pocket." Dug his hand into his coat and fished the instrument from his pocket, waving it to show you he had it.

"Can I have my phone."

"No you're concussed."

"But it's my phone?"

"and you're still concussed, i'm not going to give it too you until Dazai arrives to pick you up a little later this afternoon."

"What am I supposed to do until then? Play bingo with myself or something."

"I can get you a snack or something from my fridge, but I would actually recommend you sleep for the time being, it helps with concussion recovery."

You did actually feel really groggy, your eyes were already starting to flutter shut, and since there wasn't a growl in your stomach you decided to nestle into the cover of the bed you were already tucked into, letting your eyes meet causing you to drift into a slumber.

------ ------ ------

The light repeated up and down motion stirred you from your slumber, opening a sliver of you eyes you find yourself being carried in the arms for your brown haired companion, Dazai. Starting to wake up you immediately then start to return to your sleep when your friend brushing his hand across the skin of your cheek gently. The slender fingers flickering across your face as a sign of endearment, lulling you into another slumber, only catching the ending snippet of the conversation between the two men before dozing off once again.

"Odasaku."

"Hmmm?"

"Thanks for taking care of them for me."

Author’s note: Sorry for the irregular updates, and the shorter chapter! I’ve kinda been having a little bit of a writers block recently, I’m still kinda in it but I’m trying to get out of it. Hope you still like the chapter even though it’s short!

[paola-believeinmagic-02]

Soukoku Fluff Week 2020 – Feb. 11 – Present (gifts) and “Will the empty days start to shine bright?” - Trash Candy, S1 OP

Title: Proof that we belong to each other (cat!Dazai)

It’s been four months since he started living with a human and in those four months he has learned many interesting things.

First, that said human’s name is Chuuya. At the beginning he referred to him as Chibi-human (because he was shorter than the average adult humans he used to saw around when he lived on the streets), but it wasn’t until another female human came to visit them that he learned his name, mostly because he always seemed to react at the word Chuuya, so it wasn’t that hard to connect the dots.

Second, that Chuuya had given him the name Dazai. At first he couldn’t understand why his human produced that weird sound around him, especially when he or his tail was too close to crystals filled with a red liquid, but soon he realized that that was his human’s way to refer to him or call his attention. So now whenever he heard the word Dazai he knew that Chuuya was talking to him and that now he was Dazai.

Third, that crab was the best thing in this world! After Chuuya took him in his home and cured his injuries he gave him some canned crab and ever since then he has become obsessed with it. Sadly, Chuuya insists in giving him a balanced and diverse diet, so crab was not on his plate everyday as much as he wishes or begs for it. Although he has learned that if he behaved good Chuuya awards him with crab.

Fourth, that Chuuya will spend a lot of time outside home, not that he was complaining.

He spends most of his time sleeping on the couch in front of the funny looking black box that shows moving images, or sleeping on Chuuya’s bed. Sometimes he would play with some of the toys Chuuya has got him or jump from shelve to shelve to stretch his legs, though he does his best not to knock Chuuya’s stuffs, mostly because the last time he did it he punished him with bland food. Eww.

But the point was that Chuuya would barely spend time at home.

The first three days after he was picked up from the streets Chuuya was with him the whole time, even when he went outside to get him things or to take him to the scary woman dressed in white that insisted in putting needles in him (which leads him to the fifth thing that he has learned in the past months: vets are the worst!). But after those three days Chuuya started to leave their home without him for long periods of time.

He started to think that Chuuya got tired of him and was abandoning him, like his clowder did, but Chuuya always came back and he always made sure to pay attention to him, even though he could sense the tiredness and tension from him.

Which leads him to number six, purring relaxed Chuuya a lot!

He discovered this after Chuuya came back home covered in dust and with his clothes in a poor state. Chuuya seemed really upset and he could have sworn he saw the floor break with each step he took.

“Nya?”

“Not now, Dazai!” was what Chuuya said before entering the room that he has learned to know as the bathroom (seven?) and locked himself in it.

An hour later Chuuya came out cleaner but still tensed. He didn’t know if it was safe to approach him yet.

After putting some new clothes on, Chuuya sat on the couch and hid his face in his hands. Once in a while he saw his shoulders shaking and it seemed that it was hard for him to breath. Not knowing what to do, he hopped on the couch too and started to rub himself against Chuuya’s side and purring, as his mother used to do when he was a cub.

It seemed to work because Chuuya stopped hiding his face, and instead started to pet him. That night Chuuya carried him to his bed to keep petting him, while he purred close to his chest, noticing how little by little Chuuya started to relax until he fell asleep. Since that night it has become his duty to always guaranteed Chuuya’s relaxation whenever he was home.

Of course he has learned more things (had he already mentioned how great crab is?!), but those were probably the most important ones these past months.

[Though Chuuya’s ability to make stuff float in the air was also worth mentioning, and the fact that he hated the one time Chuuya used it on him to lower him from the highest shelf in order to take him to the vet, again!]

Anyway, aside from the vet, he was really happy with his current life, definitely better than trying to survive alone on the streets (although there were times he would receive help from an old calico cat).

Back then his life was empty and meaningless, that is why he barely fought back when a clowder decided to pick a fight with him for entering their territory; he just wanted everything to end once and for all. But never, even in his wildest dreams, would he have thought that a human would take him to his home and give him a better life, a brighter one.  And now that he has taste of it, he wouldn’t trade it or lose it for anything in this world.

***

“Dazai, I’m home!” announces Chuuya from the door.

“Nya!”

“I have a surprise for you,” Chuuya sets some bags on a table and grabs an object from one of them that looks like a thick blue rope with pieces of metal attached to it. “I probably should have given you this months ago, but with all the work and…well it doesn’t matter,” he finishes saying while shaking his head. “Better late than never, I suppose.”

“Nya?”

“You will see.”

Chuuya approaches him and kneels in front of him. He shows him the blue rope and lets him smell it for a while, he is disappointed that it’s not food but it doesn’t seem to be something threatening either, and when he paws it, it makes an interesting sound.

But as much as he wants to play with the noisy piece of metal, Chuuya ends up telling him to stop between laughs in order to put the rope around his neck.

“There you go,” he says with a smile. Then he picks him up and carries him in front of what he has learned to know as a mirror, an object that apparently shows him how he looks like (and not a window that showed him another cat that imitates his moves, as he first thought).

[“Good! There’s not enough space for another cat in this place, thank you very much”].

“What you think?” says Chuuya; he can sense some expectation from him, like he was eager to receive some reaction from him, probably for the rope around his neck.

He inspects himself in the mirror and he has to admit that the blue rope compliments well with his brown fur. Besides, the rope was not very tight so he didn’t have problems breathing and now he could play with the noisy piece of metal as much as he wanted!

“Nya~”

“You like it, uh?” says Chuuya with excitement on his voice and scratching his chin. “I’m so glad.”

He settles better in Chuuya’s arms and starts to rub his head against his neck, noticing that he has a rope around it too, though made of a different material.

“Still, we match!” he thinks. “I’m Chuuya’s and he is mine.”

“Nya!”

“Yeah, it took some time. But, officially, this is your home,” he says without stopping petting him.

He never thought that it would be so nice to belong somewhere or to someone.

“Prr, Nya!”

[leonawriter]

Place A Flower Crown Around Your Neck

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Chuuya, Dazai, the Sheep, the Port Mafia, Kouyou.

Pairings: Dazai/Chuuya

Summary: Soulmates AU. As long as Chuuya can remember - which is far shorter than most people by several years - flowers have appeared on every area of his body. Supposedly, or so they say, it's because there's someone out there who has the same happen to them when he gets hurt.

The flowers only appear because he cares. The realisation that the one on the other end is Dazai makes him wish that he didn't.

...

Chuuya looks in the mirror, which isn't much of one, and sees shapes blossoming over his chest, his legs, his his arms.

Nakahara Chuuya, the plastic bracelet he'd had on during his first memories, had said. Age. Gender. Birthdate. Blood type. 

None of it explained why there were flowers currently all over his body, that he hadn't put there.

Just one more thing I can't explain, he decided. Something else he could only figure set him apart from the rest of the kids who were a part of the group that'd taken him in when they'd seen him wandering the streets with no clue who he was, where he was, or even what he was, given that his last real memory was of some great hand reaching for him, and that felt more like some sort of weird dream, or nightmare, than something real.

Even if nothing else, it wasn't human.

Maybe this wasn't either, he wonders, and picks his clothes up from the floor, putting them on one by one, readying himself to go back out and pretend to be normal again, for another day.

...

"Oh, ouch," Yuzu says at the dinner table one day, wincing as she looks at him. He doesn't get it - he's not been injured, hasn't been since he burned his hand on the stove by accident, trying to grab at a pan with his ability before it could topple and send the food flying, and that was long enough ago that it'd healed over.

"Ouch what?"

Shirase and a few others start to lean in, to get a closer look, and the moment they look at him, they all wince in their own ways.

Honestly, if people keep doing this and not telling him what was going on, he's just plain gonna get pissed off real soon-

"What, is this new? C'mon, Chuuya, if you had someone, you should've told us!"

"Pfft, look at him! I don't think he even knows what we're talking about!"

"What, seriously? But everyone and their mom and big sister knows about that one- ohhh! Right."

The rice he'd been shovelling into his mouth suddenly becomes a lot harder to swallow as he's reminded of how there were such basic things that even the smallest of the kids who'd come to the Sheep had just by the fact that they'd been born, had parents, had homes... 

"Look, it's fairly simple." The calm voice that had started to explain belonged to a girl several years younger than him. Younger than he was supposed to be and how people saw him, at least. "The idea is, that there are some people who have someone else in the world, and when that person is hurt, flowers show up where the hurt is. I heard someone say that it's because when the world was being made, there were two people who always wanted to know if the person they loved was okay, so the gods gave them a way to find out, because they didn't have phones yet."

"So," someone else said, taking off where she'd left off, "that means you've got someone like that, Chuuya!" 

"Yeah," and this time it's Yuzu again, "which would be great, if it weren't for how there's like, a ring of flowers right now all around his neck. I'd say it's pretty, but honestly, it's kind of morbid."

It was tempting to roll up his sleeves, just to see if some of the flowers he'd seen before were still there, but he stops himself before he can do more than tug on a cuff.

Whoever they are, they're either being kicked around like some weak kid who likes to pick way too many fights, or they don't take nearly enough care of themself, he thinks to himself.

Conversation drifts on, and people talk about soulmates, even though the subject of Chuuya's pretty much gets dropped aside from a number of curious glances, often accompanied by a sympathetic wince. 

Someone brings up that they knew someone from the other side of the slums, and her soulmate was her twin sister, and someone else argues back that twins didn't count, and someone else argued the point with what little they'd learned of history from the books they'd been able to scavenge from the deserted shops and houses.

Chuuya just carried on eating his food, and hoped that whoever it was on the other end would be a bit more considerate and not make this thing so obvious in the future, if they couldn't just stop getting hurt.

At least, he thinks to himself as he forces another mouthful down, hand going to his throat without thinking, it's something human I can claim as my own.

The flowers fade by the time they've finished eating and clearing up, until eventually there's nothing left of them at all. Even so, part of him worries, because those are just the flowers, he knows, and if that means there's an actual injury on some poor person he's supposed to care about, then...

It's easier not to think about it, than to consider the idea that he might have lost them before he's even found them.

...

He kicks the Port Mafia brat into a wall, digs the heel of his foot into the guy's chest, and kicks him again not long later just to get rid of that nullifying ability of his, and doesn't even think anything of it until he gets a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirrors later, and wonders who the hell his soulmate could be, that he's now got something or other trailing all the way down one of his arms, and something pale just over one of his eyebrows.

It's a good thing he's taken to wearing clothes that cover him up, ever since he found out about this.

(He'd seen Dazai walk in with a cast over his arm, but figured that the two couldn't be related, it had to just be coincidence, because that explosion had covered a wide enough area it could've been anyone, and maybe it was weird, but people busted up their arms every day. 

Besides, the world was big, and it didn't have to be the one Port Mafia kid he'd already declared he couldn't stand.)

...

The first sign he really should've paid attention to, that he shouldn't have just filed off as weird and ignored, was when he'd seen himself with something small and dainty flowering on his cheek while going through the house that was where the explosion had been.

A small flower, in the same place he could see Dazai now had a small cut, probably from one of the bullets the GSS soldiers had been aiming at him.

Dazai ignores it. Or he seems to. 

But then, Dazai, with his bandages all over and his boredom and the way he acts like he's already an adult when he's younger than Chuuya, is weird enough that maybe he sees, and he just doesn't care.

...

Maybe it says something, that he doesn't even figure it out while they're fighting Randou - Rimbaud, he should say, now - and maybe that's all down to adrenaline and the fact that neither of them were injured in places that they'd be able to just look at during the fight, or maybe it was something else entirely, but-

At some point he gets a glimpse of flowers fading from his chest, and his mouth goes dry, remembering all too clearly the small blossoms that had grown around his neck hardly even just once, or twice, in his life.

And the bandages that still covered Dazai's.

...

(He takes to wearing a collar-type choker. Dazai might make fun of it, but Chuuya doesn't want to see flowers in the mirror the next time Dazai tries hanging himself, because he knows what's underneath those bandages better than anyone. He's seen most of those scars come into existence, after all, even if he's never seen them in person.

So he never makes fun of the bandages, even though he could. He isn't going to sink to Dazai's level, and unlike some, he doesn't take pleasure in someone else's pain like that.)

...

"...Ane-san," he says, halfway through a private session focusing on manners and how they relate to tactical warfare, "the whole... soulmates, thing. D'you know of any where they just, don't even like each other?"

The look she gives him says that she understands why he's asking, and that would be bad enough, but she looks like she pities him, and that's ten times worse.

"None that I know of," she says. "After all, the story goes that the gods granted the ability to see the harms of others because both people involved cared, Chuuya-kun."

He scoffs at that, almost laughs at the very idea, because this is Dazai they're talking about, but she gives him a level look, reminding him that they had been in a lesson about manners.

...

The worst times are when he doesn't see any sign of flowers at all, and he learns to dread not seeng anything at all because when the injuries are all internal, the flowers don't appear.

He can't know to run to the last person to see Dazai and ask where he's gone to cut him down when he sees flowers beginning to bloom out from behind his choker, he can't know to run home if he sees something trailing across his wrists, can't know to go anywhere, if he can't see anything at all.

He's scared shitless the first time he sees Dazai floating face down in a river, and screams profanities at him for what feels like an hour, maybe more, until Dazai puts his fingers in his ears and complains of hearing loss.

Chuuya doesn't care, and nor does he care about the fact that he's going to be seeing the marks on his skin from the way he'd beaten at Dazai's chest a little too hard, and hit him knowing that the flowers would fade in a few hours, but at least Dazai would be alive to make them bloom.

He hates Dazai for doing this, hates him for doing this to him, hates him for making him care.

...

("You're late," Dazai says, "because of that, they were able to hit me three more times."

He knows, he wants to say, because he still has the flowers fading on his wrists, where the cuffs are chafing, his sides, where Dazai's been kicked, and Dazai can probably even see the ones on his face that match the bruises still forming there.

"Poor baby," is what he says instead, "want me to pick up where they left off?")

...

The aftermath of Corruption is probably the only time he feels like it's all worth it - the use of that much power and the loss of control, and the entire flowers thing in general.

He'll come back to lucidity to see Dazai's face, invariably covered in flowers, almost always blue and white.

It's a small reminder of what everyone kept on telling him, and even if it only remains for a short time, he'll burn the sight into his memories best he can.

They're only there because he cares, they only can be there because he cares, he tells himself. 

...

He isn't there, when Dazai vanishes, and Mori tells him on the phone about how Dazai has betrayed the mafia, and will from here on in be treated as a traitor.

My condolences, Chuuya-kun. Perhaps if he chooses to come back of his own accord, some argument for leniency might be made, Mori had said, but such leniency can only exist if Dazai-kun allows it to. As I'm sure you understand.

The worst thing is, he does. He understands, he gets it - it makes complete sense in his head, that they can only help Dazai as far as he'll let himself be helped. Which has never been much, if at all, what with the way he's always just done everything on his own and in his own way.

But that's his head, and his heart - that he'd once denied existed, because a heart like this was something more human than he could lay claim to, as some force of destruction in a mortal body - told him that it hurt.

At the very least, Mori's words mean that he doesn't feel like he has to constantly be hyperaware of his own reflection, that he won't wake up one day with flowers having blossomed red on his chest, and trailing down from his jawline.

At least, he thinks, he might be given enough warning before that happens that he won't have to worry about being in public and having all of his enemies and subordinates alike know that his very own soulmate had been executed as a traitor to his very own organisation.

Idly, he wishes that whoever the hell had come up with this stupid idea in the first place, whichever god or goddess it was, had thought to make internal injuries visible as well - maybe then, Dazai might see the way Chuuya had been hurt because of him.

If he even cares, that is, and this isn't just one sided now somehow.

They'd seen each other's pain on their bodies since well before they'd even met, but it wasn't impossible. He'd heard stories, everyone had, and he wasn't so oblivious that he didn't hear people talking about him, wondering if that was what had happened to him.

The marks are only there because you care, he reminded himself, but they don't say anything for a shitty mackerel that's never cared more about you than his love of suicide. 

Just forget about him, he tells himself, tired of this already, when a few days later the flowers appear again, around his neck, as if his choker had gained lace and frills, and he calls in sick so that he's just going to do paperwork and won't have to go out in public like this.

Kouyou doesn't question him. But then, that's helped by the fact that he'd wound up throwing up when the flowers still hadn't faded after several hours, and he's driven to nausea by the images his mind throws at him of Dazai hanging from some beam, some low-hanging tree branch, the life draining out of him and the flowers around Chuuya's neck never fading, because the wounds are never going to heal.

He gets dressed and goes out and manages to look and act normal, but marks on his skin are still fading, days later.

...

He starts to get used to Dazai not being there, and starts to grow accustomed to the flowers showing up and not being able to do shit about it, though it helps that he doesn't see anything near as bad for a long while, and when it does, they fade more quickly.

People learn to stop bringing it up, and each new subordinate he gets learns quickly not to ask, enough that he wonders if it's something people just pick up on, or if people think he'll somehow blow up if they mention how the 'tattoos' on his arms have changed since yesterday.

...

Just forget about him, he'd told himself, just stop caring so much, and it'll all go away and life will be that much easier. You know that. Yo do. 

His heart still stops for a moment when he sees the fresh splashes of colour on his skin, and he grinds his teeth at his inability to do anything about it.

He's not coming back, he's not worth the damn effort of caring, he keeps thinking. If you stop caring now, you won't have to be left with being unable to get rid of the evidence once the bastard actually gets what he wants and finally kills himself.

It doesn't work.

It never does.

...

Four years on, and he's not even thinking about Dazai at all until he looks down at his wrists and sees soft white covering his skin. He doesn't even feel worried at this point, just angry, angry that he knows that if anyone looks at him, they'll wonder what kind of partner he has that would do such a thing.

He's still on the train and looking out of the window when he sees his face burst into flower.

He sighs, closes his eyes, and briefly wonders what sort of mess the bastard had got himself into this time, and by the time he opens them again, he forgets to breathe, for just one moment.

The flowers had covered almost his entire face, colours deep enough to mean it'd be a while before they went down, and he could only imagine what could possibly be going on to cause that.

But he can't think about that, and doesn't want to think about that, so he just pushes his hat down over his head, and pointedly doesn't think at all about Dazai for the rest of the journey, so that when he gets the call telling him that Dazai was in mafia custody, his hand doesn't shake when he puts his phone away again.

...

Dazai is spotless aside from the bruises all over his face and the numerous cuts and scrapes he'd doubtless gathered from just being hung up to dry in their interrogation cell.

Even though Chuuya knows it's because he hasn't had any injuries to make anything show up, it still pisses him off enough that he acts without thinking to try and goad Dazai into a fight.

All he winds up doing is adding to the number of flowers on his own body, and the irony is that anything that Dazai might have done to him, would have been covered up by those damn bandages anyway.

...

He doesn't care, he told himself, later, and even if he did, he doesn't care enough about you to let you know there's anything left.

He gets drunk anyway, and pretends it doesn't hurt that most people seem to take his word for it, that the bastard has it coming, that Akutagawa had looked him in the eye, knowing what he'd done, and maybe if he's drunk enough, it won't hurt as much that Mori wants Dazai back, and both of them know he won't.

He's happier there, come the drunken realisations, that's the first time in ages I've seen flowers that big.

He tries to tell himself he's angry, and maybe when he's sober then he'll be able to be again, but while he's drunk all he can think of is the fact that the flowers are fading, and the way Dazai had laughed at him.

...

He really should have known that Dazai's arm hadn't been damaged - or at least, not here - when his own skin was left clean of any colour that hadn't already been there.

And again, Dazai doesn't seem to notice, doesn't seem to care, about the flowers that spring into existence on Chuuya each time he gets hurt, because why would he? He always has been careless like that.

He might be happier where he is now, but he had left Chuuya behind along with the mafia, and sooner he learned to deal with that, the better.

...

The first lucid sight he has after being pulled out of Corruption and a haze of destruction and despair and the increasing call of the familiar void, calling him to something he had once been, something he could never be again, something where he wouldn't care about anything because he wouldn't be anything-

Other than the cracked ground underneath his feet, the blood dripping down his arms-

Is Dazai.

It's already hard to breath evenly, and the sight of Dazai's face in his hands, unmistakably Dazai but covered in flowers like he hasn't seen in years, is enough to make him almost pass out there and then.

"I wanted to," Dazai said, a smile on his face, "but it was fun." 

Liar, Chuuya wanted to say, liar.

Maybe he would have believed, even, if it hadn't been for the evidence that was literally staring him in the face.

He cares, the flowers told him. He cares.

"Red spider lilies and camellia, Chuuya? I'm flattered."

He blinks, never having bothered to learn any of the meanings behind any of it, figuring there wasn't much point.

He still pushes his fist into Dazai's chest, wishing he could punch him for holding out on him all these years, but not having the energy to do more than say he could at least take him back to the extraction point, after making him go so far, before passing out.

...

He asks Kouyou what red spider lilies and camellia mean, and she looks at him in surprise for a moment, before answering.

Something lost, or abandoned, she says, and then, after a pause, one who is in love. Perishing with grace. Chuuya-kun, is there something you want to tell me?

His explanation is to ask, without words because he worries that if he tried to speak, his words would fail to come out, by holding out the arm with the still-fading white flowers.

Kouyou looks up at his face, sharply, and he worries that something is wrong, if he had misjudged-

Gardenia, she says, pointing at a small bouquet of the delicate-looking things. White roses. Even just these two speak of a secret love... and devotion. If these are from Dazai-kun, then he must have grown a great deal, in these past years. And perhaps your feelings are not so unrequited as you fear, lad.

What he doesn't say, is that he's seen those same white flowers, among others, for far longer than just the past few years.

...

"You know," Dazai says some months later, his head leaning onto Chuuya's shoulder, "for a good long time, I thought it'd have to be someone a lot younger than me. I didn't even think it could be you when I saw we matched."

"Hah? Really?" He thinks about it for a moment, and still can't understand how someone that smart can be that dumb. "How would that even work?"

"You looked my age." Some hint of nostalgic whimsy entered into Dazai's voice, a fair bit colder than most people would be comfortable with. "I've never told anyone else, who wasn't there, but... the first time I ever saw these, I was seven years old."

"What's that- but... it doesn't..." 

"Of course it makes sense, Chuuya. It's made sense to me ever since I heard you say it yourself, that you only really remember starting to exist as yourself, at that very age. The person I was linked to wasn't just Arahabaki, and it wasn't just whoever "Nakahara Chuuya" was before, but you."

His throat constricts, his heart beats too fast, his eyes sting.

He shifts out of Dazai's grip, only to see Dazai looking uncertain and floundering. The closest thing to actually scared that Chuuya thinks he's ever seen on him.

"The hell are you doing, saying sappy things like that?" He groans, covering his eyes with his arm, knowing damn well that it's going to come away wet.

"...Chuuya?"

"You absolute dumbass. You could've told me years ago."

Beautiful, Chuuya remembered him saying as they looked through the restricted files, when they were sixteen and Chuuya was still coming to terms with his own humanity. 

He understood now, even if Dazai looked as though he was so close to shutting himself off again.

His touch, when he reaches over to hold Dazai's face, to tell him in actions what his words weren't good enough to begin to explain at the best of times, not about this, is gentle, running ungloved fingers over the red roses and morning glory on Dazai's face from when Chuuya had been earlier in the day.

The kiss, which isn't their first, is soft. For once he isn't searching for something, isn't hoping for something he half expects won't be there. He's showing, making sure Dazai can't mistake what this means.

I love you, it says. I care. 

I don't want to let go, it says, as he puts his other hand on the other side of Dazai's face. 

I love that you love all of me.

[thechillicount]

Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~