#chrisbrown fanfic

[vampirelova92]

The Substitute Vol 5.

Fourth of July .1

Anai E.

July•

"Can you not make them so bunched up together?" Myla mumbled to Anai from across her black marble kitchen counter, who was focused on putting cupcakes on the display to go out on the back patio with the rest of the food.

In the distance sparklers and early fireworks could be heard along with the laughter of chatter from the kids playing to Mylas others guests outside.

Anai eyed Myla with her blue eyes as she washed lettuce after opening the plastic bags they came in, "I am not bunching them."

"Yes you are." Myla looked down in the sink.

Anai puffed air out of her mouth making her hair blow out of her face, "Want to switch then?"

"Nai..." Myla looked up from the lettuce putting it in the huge clear salad bowl next to her on the counter, "Relax."

"I am relaxed." Anai went back to spreading out the vanilla cake cupcakes with red white and blue frosting.

"No you're not. Eventually y'all will talk shit out. I'm seriously about to ask Landon to bring his good shit for you to smoke." Myla responded moving on to opening a bag of cherry tomatoes.

There was no amount of THC in Anai's mind that could remove the anxiousness from her body in the attempt of conversation she'd try tonight. The fact that Myla was so calm about it mostly because she didn't believe any of it, kind of made Anai wonder if she was just in denial of it all with her family.

"He hasn't talked to me since we got off the ship a week ago." Anai muttered slickly with a grimace staring down at the cake.

"Y'all have to had talk, hello Mayson." Myla leaned both her hands down on each side of the counter shrugging her shoulder in her pretty red white and blue tie dye halter top sundress.

"About Mayson yes, but that's it." Anai looked from Myla back down at the cupcakes, "When are they suppose to get here?"

"Big brother said six so in about thirty more minutes or less." Myla answered cutting up a cucumber she had previously peeled already to fall into her salad bowl.

"What about Erica and Jalil?" Anai wipes frosting that got on her finger on a paper towel.

"Said they'll try to make it." Myla answered continuing with her task of building her salad.

"I'll be surprised if he actually shows up." Anai muttered finishing with the display of placing the cupcakes, she picked it up off the counter to take outside.

"If who shows up?" Bryce asked walking into the kitchen to kiss Myla's lips placing a huge plastic bag full of family sized chip bags on the counter. In a light denim jean jacket he had on jeans to match with a black V-neck shirt and low top all black vans.

"Hey." Myla kissed him back wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

"Hey Bryce, nothing I just-"

Joe walked in behind him in a red tank and dark blue denim shorts that stopped to his knees with high top white forces, Malikai in tow wearing all black from his snapback dawn to his low top converses, also holding bags of their own, "Yo, what's good ladies?"

Placing the bags down on the far counter along with Joe, Malikai bit down on his bottom lip showing the deep dimples in his cheeks looking from everyone out onto the patio behind his Gucci lenses, "Hey, kids outside?"

"Um yeah." Anai nodded raising up the cupcake display, "About to put these outside on the table."

"Need help?" Malikai asked looking back at her.

"Nope got it, thanks." Anai gave a quick smile his way.

"You got frosting on the bottom of your shirt." Malikai told her making Anai swiftly look down at her blue shirt she had on and saw some on her shorts as well.

"Shit." She muttered putting the display back down on the counter to grab a paper towel off the roll on the counter.

Looking back at the display Malikai nodded with a small smile before setting his sights back out to the patio, "Got a lot of guests sis."

"Not that many." Myla did a forced laugh in the awkwardness suddenly in the kitchen.

Joe looked between them both raising an eyebrow before looking towards the patio to follow behind Malikai who started to walk off, "Mayson where you at!?"

Bryce moved his lips to the side looking over at Anai, "Damn."

"Babe." Myla hit his chest lightly.

"See even Bryce and Joe peep." Anai smiled at Myla following behind Bryce to go outside on the patio.

"I haven't peeped anything." Bryce spoke going to follow the guys.

"Nai." Myla called after her stopping at the patio doorway.

"Hey My." Jasmine walked up behind her with a tray of food in her hands and a warm smile.

"Hey Jazz, thanks for coming. Melo?" Myla gave her a hug following her back into the kitchen.

"He'll be here in a bit." Jasmine breathed placing her tray of buffalo dip down, "This is the best dip you're ever going to eat."

"Oh is it?" Myla chuckled at her, wrapping up the top  of the salad bowl to go in the refrigerator with saran wrap.

"Yess." Jasmine cheesed looking around, "Good decorating its pretty." 

"Thanks boo." Myla sighed looking to see Kaylee walking into the kitchen in a striped sun dress of red white and blue.

"Hey girls." Kaylee waved with just her phone and purse on her.

"Hey Kay." Jasmine got a hug before Myla did.

"Flying solo huh?" Jasmine asked with a conniving grin, looking out to the patio.

"Jazz leave her alone." Myla pointed at her going to her freezer and fridge, "Y'all want a jell-o shot?"

"Why not." Kaylee shrugged putting her purse and phone down looking out at the patio.

Playing with Mayson, Joe seized his feet seeing Kaylee in the kitchen thirty feet away leaning against the counter watching him. Giving him a quick wave with her hand he nodded back sizing her and she smiled bashfully looking away.

"Damn he must have you really sprung in only a week." Jasmine peeped staring at Kaylee.

"It's not like that, we are taking things slow." Kaylee shook her head.

"I know you fuckin' lyin'." Jasmine exclaimed suddenly while Myla took the shots out of a big plastic tufa ware bowl she had.

"Auntie Jasmine, language." Mayson walked inside the kitchen with light red silly string all over his head.

"Oop." Kaylee laughed downing her red jell-o shot.

"Hey Mayson." Jasmine eyed him as he got a capri sun out of the cooler by the kitchen counter with a towel around his waist from swimming in the pool.

"Hello, when is Uncle Mel getting here? Dad and Uncle Bryce didn't know." Mayson asked looking up at her.

"Soon hun." Jasmine answered him with a sure nod.

"Okay." Mayson ran back outside.

"What are we going to do about those two?" Kaylee asked seeing Anai at the food table by herself overlooking everything.

"Let them work the shit out themselves." Myla answered.

"It must be something really bad I've never seen them fight this long." Jasmine commented.

"All will be well." Myla sighed making Kaylee look at her like she knew something that they didn't.

"Yes this would be our second year living in Los Angeles but I think we're going to move to somewhere more soon maybe Seattle." One of Mylas neighbors she invited name Shelly talked to Anai with her husband and another woman from Williams company.

"I'm here!" Kenneth walked out to the patio to join the group giving Anai a hug. 

"Hey daddy!" Vanessa yelled sitting on the edge of the pool with a kool aid smile and a popsicle in her hand.

"Hey sweetie." Kenneth smiled at her, "I brought the change of shorts you needed for Mayson.

"Thanks I appreciate it Ken." Anai smiled at him gratefully.

"Whatever you need." Kenneth smiled back genuinely.

"Where is Kai?" Kenneth asked looking down at the bags in his hand to put them down on the table everyone was huddled around.

Across the lawn Malikai held a bowl by both hands with bubble liquid in it to place back on the ground so that the kids could play after he refilled it, looking over at Anai's smile on her face with the appearance of her friend Kenneth. Looking down at her plastic red cup of kool aid Anai looked across the lawn gluing her eyes with Malikai smiling at their son having a good time. In a flash he looked at Kenneth with murder in his current dark grey eyes with a devilish smirk on his lips before looking away.

"Fuck." Anai muttered under her breath looking back down at her cup.

"What you say Anai?" Shelly asked making everyone look her way, Kenneth rose his eyebrows at her.

"Nothing." Anai smiled putting her sights on Mayson and Vanessa playing with the other kids.

Flashback 1 Week Ago

"Can we please talk about this." Anai walked into Malikai's suite before dinner on the boat soon with everyone else.

Buttoning up his tan Tom Ford short sleeve shirt while looking in the mirror in his bathroom Malikai looked at Anai through the reflection with grey eyes of razors, "What is there to talk about? You want to distance yourself while I figure out my shit like always."

"You're making it seem like I want to break up with you, and I still don't even understand why you're mad Malikai." Anai shook her head at him in her simple short black dress with spaghetti straps.

"You talked to someone else about our problems instead of talking to me about them first or whatever was bothering you with the situation at hand. On top of it all you're deciding to distance yourself instead of being by my side while I'm going through shit with my family I didn't ever have any control over. Like I chose any of this. Don't even know everything yet." Malikai explained to her calmly as he finished up with his shirt.

"Kai I...you rather I talked to Kenneth about this than Summer?" Anai snapped and immediately regretting it seeing the shock in Malikai's eyes by her question.

Silence went on for about thirty seconds that they could hear the ocean outside with the patio doors to the suite being open.

"Wow...are you asking this to hurt me? Or make me jealous of him?" Malikai asked breaking a small smile for two seconds before looking confused with full of anger.

"Kai I didn't meant it." Anai sighed, "I just, I'm here."

"You did mean it, and right now you're not honestly I don't feel you at all right now. I'd like you to just leave while I finish getting ready for dinner." He breathed walking out the bathroom to go to his bedside dresser.

"Malikai please-"

"Anai, go now." He looked back at her with a serious glare, "I mean it."

"I'm sorry." Anai whispered before walking out to the hallway where security as usual stood by.

The tears fell down her cheeks before she could even here the lock click of the door as she bypassed James with an awaiting look.

Present

As the sun started to lower little by little while the kids were ushered inside to change and get ready for more fireworks and fun out of their bathing suits. Sitting at a table with Jasmine and Myla, Anai saw a woman that she assumed was a neighbor of Mylas walked up talking to Malikai from across the lawn in the skimpiest outfit for Fourth of July you could think of out of nowhere. Not knowing how she was going to fix what she had damaged between Malikai and herself, Anai knew it needed to happen soon before she lost Malikai for good and had nothing.

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Thank you so much for staying with this story and characters, 5 books in! I appreciate the love and feedback and happy that you all have fallen in love with these characters as much as I have. Or just plainly found them interesting, to come back and read again and again to fall in love all over again! Know I said I'd wait till July but this will be the first official until then. -VL

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   |Anai(30) Myla(30) Jasmine(31) Kaylee (29) Erica (30) Summer 32)| 

|Joe(34) Landon(32) Melo(31) Jalil(28) Bryce(33) Malikai(33)|

"Are you serious?!" The woman exclaimed before laughing at whatever Malikai had said with a deep grin on her naturally tanned olive face.

It had only been about five minutes since she initiated conversation with him and to Anai it felt like five million years, any more and she felt like she'd be sick.

Standing out of her chair Anai walked to head back into the kitchen, "I need another drink."

"Myla who the hell is she and why did you invite attractive neighbors?" Jasmine asked while Anai was still in hearing range as she continued to head back in the kitchen.

"Shut up Jazz you're going to make my neighbors not want to come to any of my future invitational gatherings." Myla responded.

Taking a deep sigh Anai leaned against the sink once she finished closing her eyes and mentally counting to ten to calm herself down.

"It's like he knows almost every pretty woman in California or something." Anai muttered to herself wondering if that was another one of his past clients.

"Mom!" Mayson yelled running into the kitchen making Anai turn around at the big grin on his face, "Look at the cool laser tag guns uncle Joe got us!"

"Oh wow that's cool Mace." Anai leaned her back against the sink not hiding her surprise by the gift.

"So awesome!" Vanessa ran around the corner with other kids running behind her to back out on the patio.

Looking out the window in Myla's kitchen that overlooked the backyard at the sink, Anai looked to see the woman Malikai had been talking to moved on to mingling with other people along with having a dress on now over her bathing suit.

"Anai you know where Myla put her corkscrews?" Jalil asked walking into the kitchen.

Turning towards his way briefly she shook her head saying, "Nope." Continuing to look back out the window.

"Well thanks so much for helping me trying to find one." Jalil retorted opening up drawers on the opposite side of the kitchen.

"You're welcome." Anai sighed wishing he'd stop talking to her at the moment.

"I don't know why you think being mean is going to help your situation of whatever you got going on but it doesn't. Fix your shit instead of looking out of windows." Jalil told her while finally finding a corkscrew.

Anai looked over at him as he walked back at the kitchen, "I deserved that."

In her sights out the window she didn't see Malikai anymore, "Where'd he go?"

"You hiding in here?" A voice spoke from behind Anai making her look over shoulder seeing Malikai in the refrigerator with his back to her.

"No." Anai breathed, "Is she.....a friend of yours?"

"Yes you are." Malakai stared Anai down seeing right through her, "Her son is currently in the children's cancer ward, I met her visiting the kids after making preparations for an upcoming donations charity event at the hospital."

"Oh, wow." Anai felt like taking twenty shots of tequila in that moment and that Malikai was too good for her.

"Mhm...why the look of surprise?" He asked taking the cap off the water bottle he got out the fridge raising to his lips to take a long swig.

"I'm not surprised at all, I wouldn't expect anything else from you when it comes to that." Anai shook her head at him, raising her arms to hold herself.

"Right..." Malikai did a small nod at her with a squint behind his gold frames.

"Can we go somewhere and talk. Please." Anai bit her bottom lip inhaling slowly.

Moving his light grey eyes from her face over to the patio entryway, Malikai put his attention on Mayson running his way before he could answer.

"Dad come play laser tag with us please before the fireworks start." Mayson requested holding an extra blue toy gun in his hands while his own of red color was strapped around his torso laying against his back.

"Of course Mace we can, I'll be right out okay? Give me two minutes." Malikai placed a hand on top of his son's head.

"Okay." Mayson smiled up at him before running back outside.

"I don't think right now is the appropriate time to talk," Malikai spoke calmly, still watching Mayson run back outside before placing his eyes back on Anai.

"Then when exactly Kai?" Anai took a deep sigh, "I'm serious about this."

"I'll let you think on that and you can let me know once this gathering is over." Malikai answered before beginning to walk out the kitchen without another word.

Turning back towards the window she watched him go towards the kids, "At least he didn't say no."

Taking a deep breath Anai eventually went back out to join everyone before Joe and Bryce gave the word for the fireworks to go off across the lake in Mylas backyard.

Slowly Myla came and sat where she decided to chill until the fireworks show started looking at Malikai play with the kids running around like he was literally one of them it made her smile.

"You don't hate me do you?" Myla asked turning towards Anai with a nervous grin.

Laughing at her Anai shook her head, "What are you talking about crazy why would I hate you?"

"I just know you got upset when Nia went to talk to Malikai for awhile longer than you have had a-"

"It's fine and I don't hate you for inviting anyone My. Malikai told me that her son is in the cancer ward at the same hospital that he had his operation at." Anai crossed her arms over her chest.

"I knew that but I didn't know they even knew each other or that Kai knows her son Leo. Wow." Myla took a deep breath sitting back in her chair a little.

"I think I'm officially done assuming shit with other women when we have our disagreements and rifts in our relationship." Anai looked over a Myla with a serious face.

"That's a good idea." Myla agreed with her tone.

"It's just the fact of how you almost said she talked to him longer than we've talked in a week. That's what made me annoyed." Anai raised her left hand to rub against he left side temple of her head.

"So when are y'all suppose to talk anyways? I saw he went in the kitchen shortly after you did. Because I'm over this with you two." Myla expressed biting her upper lip.

"He told me I could decide when and where just not here at the party because he rather play laser tag with Mayson for the holiday." Anai smiled with a chuckle, "I'll let him know later when it's time to go."

"Okay, fireworks gonna start in another ten minutes I'm going to go get some of Jasmine's dip, you want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" Myla asked standing out of her chair as the sun officially started to set on the horizon.

"No I'm fine, thanks My." Anai told her before she walked away from the table giving a nod in response.

Putting her sights back on Malikai, she was ready for the celebrations to begin soon.

~

"Look mom!" Mayson pointed to the sky happily like it was his first time seeing fireworks it made Anai laugh.

"I know they're so pretty huh?" Anai looked down at him as he started jumping up and down in one spot.

"Cool." Vanessa mumbled.

"Happy fourth." Erica yelled with everyone doing whoops.

Anai looked over to see Malikai coming to stand beside her and placing his hands atop of Maysons shoulders looking up at the sky. Not being able to contain her smile she looked back up at the sky hopeful for their future as a family in that moment.

"Ay we headed out to get ready for the after party downtown." Joe announced in the kitchen as Myla's guests and their kids left to share celebrations with other plans they had as well.

"Alright Joe y'all be careful out there." Myla spoke while putting up left over food and trying to give it away as people were leaving.

"You're not going out tonight My?" Anai asked while helping her prepare to go plates and clean up in the kitchen while Jasmine and Melo helped Erica outside.

"No ma'am, I have to work tomorrow of all Fridays it's important that I do." Myla sighed, "I want to though."

"I know you do, and I honestly want to stay in and-"

"Please don't finish the intentions you have for your future husband who's my brother." Myla spoke swiftly.

"What intentions?" Malikai asked coming around the corner with a sleeping Mayson in his arms.

"Nothing." Anai huffed grilling the side of Mylas face.

Giving them both a confused look of suspicion, Malikai adjusted Maysons weight in his arms lifting him up more for his head to lay on his left shoulder, "He zonked out like five minutes ago."

"Oh, I'm not surprised been running around all day he'll be out for the rest of the night." Anai told him with a nod of surety of no distractions between them.

"I'm going to go ahead and put him in the car, head home." Malikai started for the door like he wasn't interested in the possibility of talking.

"Okay good night Kai." Myla whispered, "Go now."

Anai looked at her best friends face of seriousness with a nod of her head towards the front door.

"I'll walk you out." Anai took the hint grabbing Maysons book bag with all his over night clothes and toys from Malikai's free shoulder following him outside.

Walking down the driveway behind him, she couldn't be more happy and a little turned on at the same time seeing him be a dad it made her grin hard out of nowhere watching him put Mayson in the backseat of his all black Hellcat Challenger. This wasn't nothing different of routine involving transport of their son, yet every time filled Anai with the same amount of joy. It was imperative that she made up with Malikai but didn't know how yet.

Looking her way to get Mayson's book bag Malikai caught her in her own world written on her face, "What you smiling so hard about?"

"Huh?" Anai snapped out of her daze focusing back on where she was gripping Mayson's book bag tighter in her arms.

Leaning against his car Malikai crossed his arms over his chest giving Anai a squint with his eyes, "You ok?"

"Oh I'm fine, I just," Anai took a breath, "Am grateful for you being in his life he really loves you."

Looking at her for a few seconds like he was thinking about something, Malikai looked away, "Do you still?"

"Of course I do." Anai took another step further towards him, "You shouldn't have to ask."

"Have you decided when we're suppose to have this talk?" He asked looking back her way letting his arms hang by his sides.

"Yes, I can come tonight." Anai spoke without thinking about it, only because he seemed like he was open fully to the idea.

A slow smile spread across Malikai lips as he looked away from her, "I meant when we had time alone together, taking Mayson tonight remember? I just literally put him in the car."

Anai sucked her teeth, "Shut up, trying to be a smartass."

"Well? When? Smartass." Malikai rose an eyebrow leaning up off his car taking the four steps to be closer and right in front of Anai, his shirt touching the book bag in Anai's arms.

Swallowing slowly the lump in her throat that came with him being so close, she could feel her skin getting warmer, "Tomorrow after I pick Mayson up around one I'll come back in the evening to your house."

Raising his hands upward he grabbed the book bag making Anai stop breathing, taking it out her hands, "Okay."

"Okay." Anai repeated watching him walk back towards his car, the warmth she hadn't felt in a while going along with him.

~

The next morning Anai volunteered to help Kenneth at the YMCA since he was short staffed, all while Vanessa participated in the summer activities they had for the children for the day.

"How you doing?" Kenneth asked while they stood by each other handing out the different food options for lunchtime to the kids following in line to receive down the table.

"I'm good." Anai nodded handing out the option of a ham or turkey cheese sandwich on wheat bread packaged in saran wrap.

"Just so you know if he hasn't said anything I talked to Malikai last night at the party." Kenneth told her making Anai freeze on what she was doing.

When the hell did they talk last night and why didn't she see it when it happened? Anai was sure she had her eyes on Malikai all night.

"You what?" Anai turned towards him, "What did you say this time Kenneth?"

"Turkey sandwich please." A little boy said that was waiting for Anai to give him his food.

"All I said was nothing is going on between you and I, geez calm down and give that boy his sandwich." Kenneth side eyed Anai holding a red apple in his hand waiting to give it to the boy next.

"Anytime today lady." The boy said with a sarcastic tone.

Taking a deep breath Anai turned from Kenneth to give the boy a ham sandwich and a smile, "Here you go."

"I said I wanted turkey." The boy said while inspecting the sandwich that Anai handed him.

"We're out of turkey be grateful for what you have kid." Anai spoke to him and the little boy gave her a mean look before receiving his apple from Kenneth.

"Nahh." Anai stuck her tongue out at him as he walked away to go get a juice at the next table.

"You are so childish you know that?" Kenneth shook his head as they continued handing out food to the kids in line that bypassed them.

"Starting to think after trying to keep my shit together for my son's sake for as long as I have, the bowl of maturity is starting to tip a little with Malikai finally waking out of his coma." Anai muttered as she continued handing out sandwiches.

Kenneth looked over at her silent not knowing what to say, "Nai-

"What did he say after you told him that?" Anai blinked rapidly cutting him off from responding to what she said feeling her heartbeat slowly go back to normal.

"That he appreciated me coming to him man to man knowing that you two are trying to get back in sync after being apart for seven years." Kenneth responded, "Promise it was a good conversation, don't need another black eye from the guy or worse."

Anai smiled with a chuckle looking over at him, "That you really don't."

"I actually have to go out of town later on today and won't be back until Sunday night. Another center needs help and the pay I just can't turn it down, I just got the call like twenty minutes ago. Do you think you can watch over Nessa for me?" He asked looking her way once the line of kids had ended.

"This weekend?" Anai asked taking her hair down from her ponytail knowing she had to head to Malikai's house after she and Kenneth were relieved of their duties at the center.

Of course even though Kenneth was grateful for being provided a roof over his head for him and his daughter, Anai understood he was trying to get his own place soon for them.

"Yeah...why you have something you need to do tonight?" He grabbed an apple out of the bowl on the table taking a bite.

"Um, no it's okay. I can watch Nessa." Anai nodded knowing that Malikai would understand she couldn't come over later on like she had planned to.

"Thank you, you're a life saver I don't know any babysitters I could ask at the last minute." Kenneth spoke through chewing.

"Just think of it as a thank for what you said to Malikai last night." Anai smiled looking down at her phone to go to her text threads.

Anai: on my way shortly 12:15pm

"I will. Thank you for today as well." Kenneth started to pack up things on the table with other workers.

"You're welcome anytime, see you later going to go get Mayson." Anai grabbed her purse to head out of the building to her car in the parking lot. Feeling her phone chime in her lap as she push started her red Tesla she opened her phone to see the text notification.

Kai❤️‍🔥: see you soon 12:19pm

Smiling at the text Anai took a deep breath hoping they'd still be able to talk with the kids in her care, she couldn't imagine waiting until Kenneth got back Sunday night.

Pulling up to the gate at Malikai's house, Anai immediately saw James standing with another guy apart of the security team in an all black suit. Nodding at Anai behind his sunglasses James had the gate opened for her to pull up the driveway.

"Thanks James!" Anai yelled out her window.

"Of course Ms. Ericsson." James did a small smile her way as she drove pass.

Parking her car she got out headed to the front door, grabbing both handles to the mahogany colored double doors she opened them walking inside and closing them back behind her. Walking through the foyer Anai smiled smelling something that made her stomach dance since she didn't eat lunch like usual at the center. Heading to the kitchen she saw Malikai standing over a big orange pot at his stainless steel stove and Mayson was coloring in a book at the island in the kitchen sitting on a high stool. The sight made her smile that she stopped her feet from moving just to take in the sight for a few more seconds.

Raising his head in feeling her presence first Mayson turned in his chair, "Hey mama, dad mama here."

"I know, James let me know." Malikai continued his task of pouring whatever was in the orange pot into a huge glass Tupperware bowl.

"Hey." Anai smiled walking to stand next to Mayson getting a hug from him.

"Mom." Mayson smiled up at her.

"Yes?" Anai rubbed up his back with her hand looking back at him.

"Going to dad's job is so awesome, everyone listens to what he says all the time and not the other way around!" Mayson yelled excitedly like he had a fun day.

Anai looked up and to Malikai seeing he was smiling down at the pot he was now washing in his sink, "Mace."

"What come on it's true, dad really is a CEO of Williams Conpany and my last name is Williams isn't that cool?" Mayson asked with a laugh.

"You are so silly and I guess that further makes me the CEO of you, go get the rest of your stuff wherever it is young man." Anai shook her head at him as he climbed down the stool.

"Yes ma'am." Mayson sighed, "Shot out the sky again."

Anai held her mouth open never hearing him say that expression before, "Did he pick that up from Joe or Landon?"

Malikai looked over his shoulder at Anai, "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Mhm." Anai put her purse down on the counter.

"How was your day?" Malikai asked placing leftover food in the refrigerator.

"It was good, how come you not at least making me a to go plate. Please I'm hungry too Mr.CEO." Anai pouted her lips looking at Malikai's back.

Slowly he turned his head back to look at her with a glare her way and a smile on his lips, Anai chuckled at him, "I would figure I don't need to since you're coming back over here later." 

"Oh speaking of that-"

"Mom I got my stuff." Mayson announced coming back into the kitchen.

"Okay, mama needs to talk to dad. Go wait for me outside with James alright?" Anai looked down at him as he started putting his coloring book and utensils into his book bag.

"Alright." Mayson responded heading out the front door once he had all his things packed.

Watching him go out Anai turned back to Malikai who was starting already to make a to go bowl for Anai, "So-"

"I'm listening." Malikai looked up from the food to her with a nonchalant look before looking away.

"Kenneth is going out of town tonight and I have to watch the kids...so I was thinking you could come-"

"Our talk was suppose to be when you're free." Malikai interrupted her closing the lid down tightly on the smaller version Tupperware bowl from the previous one. 

"Kai we can still talk while they are entertained or after bedtime is set, I don't understand why we can't do that and you come over." Anai shook her head not understanding.

"Nai, let me ask you a question." Malikai requested.

Taking a frustrated sigh Anai bit down on her bottom lip, "Yes Malikai."

"In the past when we've had disagreements in our relationship and needed to talk things out, make up right?" Malikai asked her leaning against the counter.

"Yeah...so?" Anai still didn't understand.

"What ends up happening after that?" He turned his head to the side staring her down.

Squinting her eyes at him she shook her head, "We come to terms in our relationship and live happily ever after."

"Are you trying to be funny?" Malikai picked up the bowl and grabbed a brown paper bag with handles out of a cabinet to put it in.

"No I'm not." Anai shook her head as Malikai walked closer and closer to her.

"I'm not either, there are things that need to be discussed besides what you think with my mother and we need complete privacy." He said outstretching his arm to give her the bag with the food in it.

"Kai." Anai could feel herself becoming more annoyed because he was still being stubborn.

"Nai." Malikai breathed, "Let me know when you're actually free I can wait."

"I can't." Anai breathed deeply, "Please come."

"Mayson waiting for you and Kennth is probably almost ready to go, you should get back home." Malikai spoke walking back to his sink to put the other bowl with food back in the fridge.

Closing her eyes briefly Anai decided to just leave and not push it any further, she just didn't understand. Malikai made it seem like they were going to be throwing crap around all over the house after making up. The only upside of it all was the fact that he was looking forward to talking things out to move on and start their future together without anything holding them back anymore.

Once they made it back home, upon walking in the house Kenneth was coming down the stairs with his all black suitcase and a red duffle bag over his shoulder.

"Hey." Kenneth spoke as he made down the steps.

"Ken, where ya going?" Mayson asked putting his book bag on the couch.

"Daddy has a business trip it's just you, me and Anai this weekend Mace." Vanessa filled him in.

"Oh, have a safe trip. Nessa want to go play on the Xbox?" Mayson asked her.

"Sure." She shrugged as they went on their way like a usual Friday evening during their Summer break.

"Thank you again Nai seriously." Kenneth told her with gratitude.

"Anytime, be safe." Anai waved him off by herself, then she closed the door leaning on it with her back frustrated with Malikai.

To distract herself she decided she would watch a movie with the kids but it didn't help, snuggled in between both of them on the couch all she could think about was him. Picking up her phone off the comforter that covered them all while Mayson and Vanessa kept watching Kung Fu Panda 3 after watching the first and second movies, she went to her text threads to his.

Anai: are you seriously not coming over so we can talk, i have a whole backyard of land! 11:55pm

Slamming her phone down after not getting a response for ten minutes, Vanessa looked over at Amari with worry.

"Anai are you alright?" She asked.

"Yes I'm fine, sorry if I startled you Nessa." Anai told her feeling foolish all of a sudden.

When past midnight hit, she put the kids to bed and retired up to her room laying on her back in her bed in the darkness in her room staring up at the ceiling. Picking her phone back up that laid by her side she went back to Malikai's thread seeing he didn't respond still.

~

"Looking good in the playoffs this season Mel." Landon told him while sitting at a round table with the guys having poker night.

"Ain't that the truth." Bryce mumbled with a blunt between his lips looking at his cards.

"We trying man, gotta get through the nitty gritty, y'all should come to one of the games for next season." Melo offered.

Joe walked out his kitchen putting some chips in a bowl on the table in front of Malikai who wasn't playing, "I'm down for that."

"Kai you playing a hand tonight man or you just chilling?" Landon asked looking over at him briefly while dealing cards.

Looking at his phone and the voice message that was three minutes long that Anai just sent him, he looked up, "Uh, nah I'm good."

Summer: for the love of peace go talk to her! 2:55am

"Alright, let's go bitches taking all y'all money. Joe sat down at the table sliding the bowl of Dorito nacho cheese chips closer to him popping one in his mouth.

Malikai stood out his seat to head to the bathroom, closing the door behind him he pushed play on the audio message after turning on the light.

"Kai, I understand you wanting us to have privacy and I not babysitting so I'll wait until Sunday if that's what you want. But I just want you to know that I love you and I don't care about decisions your mother made in the past. What matters right now is us, our family and being with each other anytime we can because we've had so much time already taken away from us. I won't text you anymore about it and just come to your house on Sunday evening." 

Everything he had decided only hours ago with when and where of them talking out their fight went straight out the window instantly. Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes and hitting the power button Malikai bit his bottom lip wishing he hadn't listened to the message until Sunday, "Fuck."

Heading out the bathroom he went back to the fellas at the table. Joe and Bryce looked up only at him while Landon focused on being the dealer of their game.

"What's up?" Bryce asked with a curious expression.

"His ass going to go make up with Anai." Joe chuckled looking back down at his cards.

"Finally, fuck, y'all don't know just how much it affects the group with that shit." Landon muttered squinting his green eyes at the card deck.

"Lan shut up." Bryce looked over at him with an annoyed glare.

"What? Don't act like y'all ain't been complaining about the shit too." Landon exposed them carelessly.

"I'll holla at y'all later." Malikai told them raising his right fist to dap them all before leaving.

"Alright, go make an another kid nigga, Mayson need another sibling." "Bryce chuckled showing his teeth while looking down at his cards.

"You're one to talk, I'm surprised you haven't knocked up Myla yet." Joe looked over at him.

"Say she ain't ready yet, "Bryce shrugged, "I'm not rushing shit."

Malikai shook his at them before walking towards the front door of Joe's house, not even having the care to comment on the subject. The time on the dashboard of Malikai's parked car said fifteen minutes past three in the morning while he pondered on if he should go inside Anai's house after being parked on her street for almost thirty minutes.

"You're fucking crazy man." Malikai sighed taking his key out of his ignition opening his car door.

Giving James and his security team the night off he walked up to the front gate putting the code in to enter inside the residence. Once getting to the front door he used the spare key Anai gave him in case of emergencies. In his mind at the moment it definitely was an emergency that couldn't wait until Sunday evening. Closing the door behind him once he was inside, it was pitch black downstairs luckily the stairs he remembered where right at the foyer entryway on the right of walking inside of Anai's home once entering. Taking off his sneakers leaving them at the door he started for the stairs hearing a door open once he made it to the top.

Ducking down low like he was a burglar he leaned against the wall, "Shit."

Looking further down the hall slowly he saw it was Mayson going to the bathroom across the hall. Closing his eyes he waited until he closed the bathroom door to go halfway back down the stairs for cover and waited until he went back into his bedroom closing the door behind him.

"Nessa, please don't have to go to the kitchen right now." Malikai whispered in a prayer tip toeing fast towards the end of the hall putting his hand on the doorknob of Anai's room turning it to open the door.

Walking through and quietly closing the door behind him, his eyes adjusted to Anais's room more slowly since hers was darker than the rest of the house. Walking up to the end of Anai's bed he looked over her as she slept in a ball as always for a few seconds before looking around at her room. Going to her dresser he saw she kept things from her experiences since first starting college and being his student. Remembering the box she kept the jewelry he gave her years ago in her closet he went to go look for it and see if she put other trinkets of their time together in it.

"Curious." Malikai mumbled grabbing the box and sitting on the carpet of the closet floor he turned on the flashlight of his phone seeing first the keychain he bought her in Las Vegas.

~

Waking up the next morning around eight thirty-ish Anai stretched out in her bed not understanding that she hadn't been woken by Mayson like every Saturday morning for pancakes.

"Is he sick or something?" Anai got out of bed checking her phone seeing she still didn't have any responses from Malikai.

"Great." 

After doing her hygiene routine, and changing out of her PJ's into a worn orange Naruto shirt with blue denim jean shorts Anai went downstairs smelling bacon first before anything and then coffee. Not believing the scents that her nose was telling her she was currently smelling she moved faster to the kitchen trying to figure out who the hell was cooking in her house.

Rounding the corner she yelled, "What is going?!-

"Good morning mama, I was going to wake you but daddy told me to let you get all your rest." Mayson greeted her while sitting at the dining room table with Vanessa eating pancakes and strips of bacon.

Moving her eyes to her stove she was shocked in seeing Malikai standing at it making pancakes, "Kai?"

"Good morning Nai." Malikai turned around in a black long sleeve button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the first three buttons undone, and dark denim jeans on.

"Good morning." Anai walked to sit down at the table next to Vanessa.

"Morning!" Vanessa smiled, "How come you didn't tell us Malikai was coming Nai?"

"Um, I forgot?" Anai answered looking over at Malikai who turned back to the stove to flip another pancake and a smile on his face.

"Mom seriously, just say you wanted to surprise us cuz Ken went out of town." Mayson wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Surprise Mayson." Anai stared him down shaking her head at him.

"Haha." Vanessa laughed at them.

The kids went outside to play in the backyard after breakfast leaving Anai alone with Malikai on the patio for a while, not knowing what to say she decided on saying the obvious first.

"I'm guessing you're here because of my voice message I sent you last night." Anai looked over at him.

"Yeah, and because I don't want to be alone in that house by myself another night." Malikai told her looking out at the view of the backyard, "I forgot how big this yard is."

"Tried to tell you we can have all the privacy we want back here." Anai sighed, "I wasn't kidding, you're silly."

"I see." Malikai chuckled, "Summer hasn't stopped blowing my phone up telling me I'm being an ass for being mad at you."

"Regardless of everything, I meant every word I said in my message Kai, it doesn't matter what you end up finding out. I just want to be with you." Anai turned towards him in her chair.

"I know." Malikai looked over at her with a small smile, "I wasn't expecting you to take what I told you lightly Nai."

"In the past I know that I got upset with you for not sharing my tribulations...because I want you to trust in me to be by your side. I made a mistake in talking to someone else about it further before you, but it never made me not want us anymore." Anai felt tears growing in her eyes.

Leaning up in his chair Malikai moved his hand to hold Anai's fingertips barely having a grip, "For a moment I thought you felt different."

"No." Anai shook her head.

"Glad to hear that." Maliki sighed.

"I'm also glad to hear you and Kenneth had a talk." Anai rose both her eyebrows at him.

"Yeah...he's a pretty good guy like I assumed from the beginning about your happiness." Malakai nodded surely.

"Told you." Anai breathed, "Nothing going on, I just said the wrong thing at the wrong time, involving him."

"I kept hope in that." Malikai took a deep breath, "Dammit."

"What?" Anai studied his expression wondering what was bothering him.

"Nothing it's just we've talked and now I don't want to talk anymore." Malikai looked in Anai's eyes giving her a look she knew too well.

"You always do that." Anai sighed laying back in her chair.

"Do what?" He asked looking away from her.

"When we're talking about something serious you change the subject quick or try to make a joke." Anai told him, "You can talk to me."

"I'm fine, I just... you're my therapy remember?" He asked biting his bottom lip.

Slipping her fingers out the grip of his hand, she smiled back at him, "Babysitting. Your cravings that bad?"

"Over a weeks worth." He replied looking away from her shaking his head.

"Hmm what should we do about that as an alternative? Want some lotion?" Anai joked, speaking in a teasing tone deciding to let up and not push him.

"Shut up." Malikai muttered looking over at her not amused.

"They're playing, not focused on us right now. You have all the time in the world in the bathroom." Anai continued leaning back in her chair staring Malikai down.

"The more you taunt me right now, the worse it's going to be for you later. Keep that in mind." Malikai spoke with a sure resolve in his words.

"You started it, besides I can take it." Anai whispered.

Biting his bottom lip Malikai stood up out his chair bypassing Anai to go back in the house, "Sure...you lucky I had restraint last night."

Not thinking she heard him clearly Anai stood up too, following Malikai back inside the house to her kitchen, "Last night?"

Going into her refrigerator pulling a bottle of water out Malikai turned her way with a look of seriousness suddenly, "I take back what I said."

"About what?" Anai looked at him with concern.

"There is an older sibling." Malikai confessed to her abruptly.

"What?" She blinked fast at him.

"But it's not your older sibling, only mine." He continued.

"Oh my gosh." Anai said lowly putting a hand to her mouth, "Have you..?"

"I went to meet her, lives in upstate New York , and found out she knew about me, Myla even the twins but decided she never wanted anything to do with us." Malikai shrugged.

Not being able to speak Anai just walked straight into Malikai's arms giving him a long hug, "Oh baby."

"I'm alright I haven't told Myla yet but, your father wasn't the only man my mother was with outside of her marriage to my father." Malikai squeezed Anai back with his hug.

"I'm so sorry." Anai whispered against his chest.

"Makes sense now why my father was so ready to marry your mom before his time was up." Malikai muttered placing his chin atop of Anai's head.

"That's so sad, just when I thought that I couldn't not like Ebony even more. She's caused pain to a lot of people in your family Malikai." Anai kept holding him tight closing her eyes hoping he wasn't trying to put up a front of being alright with this news about his mother.

"There's a possibility that this information will get leaked to the press and media about my family Anai." Malikai held her closer.

Opening her eyes she leaned back to look in his face, "You mean our family?"

"I...just know how past occurrences involving people making their assumptions and opinions known about us really affected you. " Malakai shook his head looking over her head taking a deep breath as Anai put her cheek back against his chest.

"I've grown from that in knowing whether I care or don't what they say, it'll be the same outcome. What affects you does the same for me now as well, remember?" Anai asked with a smile closing her eyes back.

"Which is why moving forward I'm saying an extra prayer for my grandmother that's protected me all these years." Taking a deep sigh Malikai chuckled.

Anai raised her face off of his chest again to look up at him, "Same but, how can you laugh right now?"

"Because I'm right where I wanna be." He looked down at Anai before connecting his lips to hers, kissing passionately, moving his hands down her backside to grip tightly.

"Mm." Anai feeling lost in his kiss and hands smiled holding him tighter leaning back to look at him, "PG-13 we have kids to look over for the next twenty-four hours."

"After what I've learned in the past week, think I'm going against my better judgement within that time frame." Malikai said moving his lips back against hers making her smile.

"Dad can I have a capri sun!" Mayson yelled from the patio.

Anai raised her hands pushing Malikai off of her so fast he hit the counter behind him hard while she dashed for the fridge, "Sure thing, give one to Vanessa too!"

"Ow." Malikai groaned bending down to rub his knee as Mayson walked in the kitchen.

"Dad you alright?" Mayson asked grabbing the capri sun from his mom.

"Doing great." Malikai answered before looking over at Anai with a look of disbelief.

Anai eyed Mayson's departure with his juice until he was out of ear shot, "Last night though?"

"Huh?" Malikai asked squinted at her beginning to walk closer her way.

"I know you heard me Malikai Williams." Anai rose one eyebrow at him and trying to play dumb.

Continuing walking her way until his chest was touching her arms crossed over her hers, "That audio message..."

"What about it?" Anai looked up at him with a smirk trying to keep her composure.

"You should know by now that if you ever call out for me, like that, I would come running." He gently replied.

"I was..." Anai was taken aback by his words seeing the power of  just how in love he was with her.

Malikai rose his left hand to his glasses, slipping them off his face, "I kept myself at bay but your wrists were going to be tied to your headboard, so I can take my time ravishing your body."

Feeling her pulse in her eardrums as she continued keeping her eyes locked with his grey pupils that were suddenly turning darker Anai swallowed slowly taking a step back to keep her wits about her, "Stalker."

Breaking into a charming smile on his face Malikai put his glasses back on his face, "Still mad?"

"Yes, you broke in here." Anai leaned against the counter, "And almost..."

"Almost what?" Malikai leaned on the counter next to her.

"That key is for emergencies only. So happy you enjoyed my groveling audio message." Anai stated trying to stay stern with her tone, it low key slipping away with every second Malikai kept smiling at her.

"You can try to poker face me all you want Anai, you can try to be mad..." He slowly moved down the counter, "Only because you know I'm the only one that can do it, on top of that you knew what you were doing."

"I ought to take your key away from you." Anai threatened with a smile, feeling a little annoyed that he effortlessly saw through her.

"Who says I don't have a spare?" Malikai grinned evilly.

"Change my locks then?" Anai suggested missing bickering with him so much, he was breaking seven years of more walls down that she didn't even know she had up. That she was safe with him around again in the end the thought warmed her chest in realizing it.

"Like you'd really go through the trouble of having to explain to anyone why you would. Just say you're happy I'm here and stop fronting Nai." Malikai sighed deeply taking a step closer to her.

Out of all the people in the world he knew her the best, the fact that made Anai speechless the most is she had dreams of them having conversations like this throughout the seven years of Malikai being in his coma. In the end she was grateful that they weren't just dreams anymore. As much as she tried to find reason on being creeped out that he snuck inside her home instead of just plainly coming as a welcomed visitor reminded her of when they first both realized they couldn't live without one another no matter what came their way. If there were a more perfect world than the one she was currently experiencing, she couldn't see herself choosing anywhere else she wanted to be in a millions years.

"I-" Anai pointed at him before seeing the kids walk up from the patio, making her half her words.

Looking from her to Mayson, with a smirk on his face Mailikai smiled genuinely happy for the first time since waking from his coma glad suddenly that he didn't wait until Sunday to listen to Anai's voice message she had sent him.

"What are we doing today mom?" Mayson asked Anai with Vanessa standing curiously beside him sipping from her juice pouch and looking back between her and Malikai.

"Yeah, what we doing today mom?" Malikai asked with a conniving grin.

Anai squinted her eyes at Malikai and his audacity in knowing she couldn't be mad at him for what he did if she wanted, "Let's figure that out kiddos."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💜Thanx for reading and having patience!-VL💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 258

Trey

Lane turns around and grabs my face. He kisses me then frown his face up at me. I love his personality. He loves playing games and trying to make people laugh. His games are never evil or get him in trouble. He kisses me again. I bite at him then kiss him back. He frowns again making a funny face this time. I chuckle.

"Dylan!" Cammie snaps.

"No." He says hiding.

I help him hide under the pillows of the couch. JJ bounces into the room followed by Cammie. She had a towel and clothes in her hands.

"Where is Lane?"

"I don't know."

She looks behind her. "I sent him in here to you. He didn't come back out of here."

I shrug. "Oh. Why you need him?"

"It's time for a bath. The water got green bubbles." JJ says excited.

"I here." Lane says revealing himself.

JJ spins around like he shocked. "Lane!"

"Come on." Cammie says walking back out the room. "Lane you were hiding from me?"

"Yeah." He says excited.

I answer my phone. It's Chris. "What's up?"

"She just had low blood. It's fucking low as shit. They had me fucking shitting bricks. I need to get better at thinking under pressure."

"Shit don't get easier."

He sighs. "I'm just glad you there and going through this shit before me. I got you by my side."

"I'm already married but you can be my side bitch."

"I ain't paying you no fucking attention. We probably gonna come by there after she sees the doctor. I hope she don't need to be admitted. Oh she is going to talk to her parents on her own. Without me. So they can talk shit about me."

"Why on her own?"

He takes a few seconds. "Cause I have been working my ass off to make her feel better these past few days. She been giving me her ass to kiss. She admitted it and to make up for it she gone talk to her parents alone."

"I mean I get that but you still don't want to put it off on her. Be there still."

"I like punishment better."

I chuckle. "No you don't. Cause when she sad..."

"Yeah." He sighs. "I'll call you back. I'm bout to go upstairs to their hotel room then."

"How you know you ain't miss it already?"

"Her dad just went upstairs. So I'm sure she waiting on him." He says. "Aight."

"Yeah." I say hanging up.

How do I supposed to help him through his shit when I don't know what the hell I'm doing for myself? Don't really feel like having the weight on me. I could really use advise myself. Forrest walks into the room carrying Caden.

"How your baby and his mama doing?"

"Good." He sits down.

I nod. "They don't need shit?"

"She got a new nigga."

"What is that saying to me about her needing shit?"

"If she need shit her nigga can get it for her."

"But she carrying your baby."

He shrugs. "I went to her last appointment with her. Going to the next one. He found out who I was and ain't letting her answer her phone for me. So let him take care of her. She was hinting around that he mad cause she ain't saying she hate me and talking child support. So yeah."

"You picking this lifestyle huh?"

"Everybody ain't God's favorite."

I sit up. "Damn what's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't nobody else get a wife like Cammie cause you got her."

"It ain't cause I'm better than you."

He bites Caden's hand making him laugh. "Well anyway. I'm keeping the peace between us. She down for coparenting and she gets along with April."

"Shit that's a blessing. Aggravating ass lady."

"Cad." Forrest says holding Caden up. "You got the dance moves?"

Caden turns his head in my direction. He kicks his feet and yell at me. Not a cry just a loud ass yell. Forrest turns him towards me. Caden looks back at Forrest and yells again. He swings his arm hitting himself. He gets mad then starts crying.

"Caden." I say.

Forrest brings him over to me. He doesn't stop crying when he gets to me. I rock him a bit.

"Aye take him back where you got him."

"Cammie gave him a bath. That's where I got him from. Can't take him back."

I put him on my shoulder then start patting his diaper. He screams a few more times then settles down a bit. He was done with Forrest very quick. I rock him some more then stand up rocking him. He quiets all the way down now that he got me up. He holds his head up looking around.

"Man just give me the baby when it's walking and talking."

"You gonna miss everything." I say holding Caden so I can look at him. "Caden?"

He watches me then start dozing off. He tries to move around waking himself up. I go to the bathroom that I hear all the noise in.

"Where King?" I ask.

"King went he mommy." JJ answers.

Lane was stacking bubbles on top of a boat. "Stupid ass."

"Say it again and I'm going to slap you in your mouth." Cammie snaps reaching towards Lane.

"Mommy." Lane rus away from her.

"Don't you call nobody that."

Lane just looks at her then goes back to playing like it never happened. I jump scaring Caden. Cammie had touched my leg. JJ laughs looking up at me. I smile then lean towards Cammie. I wasn't paying attention to her. After I kiss her she gets on her phone.

"I'm back." She says.

"So how are the babies?"

"B. A. D."

Lane stands up. "What you say Mommy?"

"B. A. D." JJ repeats.

"You say that!" Lane laughs splashing in the water. "B. D."

Cammie chuckles. "Girl. They are doing fine. You hear Lane and JJ."

"Hey, Lane. Hey, JJ."

I turn and walk out the room. The phone said it was Kim. More than likely k. Michelle. Gwen stops me in the hallway. She takes Caden from me without saying a word to me. She walks away talking to him. That boy is fucking sleep but thats how they like him.

Cammie

Trey moves Lane off of my lap. Now why he bothering my baby. Lane has been on my lap being good for about an hour. Watching YouTube videos and playing a million games for 2 seconds. Not bothering nobody. With his headphones on, I might add. Perfect little angel enjoying my lap being free of Caden. In this case or Trey.

"Daddy." Lane says taking his headphones off. "I go to Mommy?"

"She right here." Trey says putting his head in my lap.

My poor baby so confused. He puts his tablet down and walks away. Trey sits up kissing my lips. His childish ass is probably proud of himself for getting rid of the competition. I shake my head as he turns to the TV. I had it on reruns of other Dancing with the Stars shows.

"Why you watching this stuff?" Trey asks.

"To see what the show really about. Looks like I'm going to be paired with an unlikely match. Probably older and white. Young black raising to fame dancer. Underdog partner."

Trey looks at me. "You making that up?"

"No."

"Doesn't seem like you planning on winning."

I kiss him. "Just to the finals. That's my goal."

"So you gonna have to train your partner really good."

"That's MiMi's job."

Trey blows. "Really?"

"Yeah. Plus all the men do are fancy steps and catches. I mean it's not like super hard to catch somebody and shake your hips a bit. But for a non dancing background white man. Geesh. I dont have the patience after dancing with Chris for so long."

"Your kids?"

"They have dancing backgrounds, they black, and they love to dance."

Trey looks at the TV. "So this not going to be simple?"

I suck my teeth. Trey looks at me. "Lane?"

"Ma'am." He says turning to me.

"What do you have?"

He looks down then at me. "This?"

I roll my eyes. "You want me to yell at you. You know you know better. Give it here."

"This?"

"Oh shit." Trey says playing attention to Lane.

I hold out my hand. "Bring it here, Lane."

"I don't Mommy." He says walking to me. "It okay. Okay?"

"Talking his self out of trouble." Trey smiles.

This boy had a fucking knife out the kitchen. I don't know what he is doing with it. I don't know why the boy was in the kitchen. Trey grabs the knife from Lane then gets up walking out the room with it. Lane goes running after him talking about something. Like did you fucking come in here to kill somebody? Your daddy because he moved you out the way? What exactly is behind you carrying a damn knife? He comes back with a bowl. He sits it down by my leg then climbs on my lap. Trey comes back into the room eating something. Lane had strawberries, blueberries, and yogurt.

"Your mama was in the kitchen cutting up fruit for Ike."

"She didn't see her grandson steal the knife?"

Trey shrugs. "She was using the one she had. The rest were put up."

Lane eats his blueberries talking to himself. Trey squeezes himself between me and Lane. Lane sits back squeezing Trey more then he goes back to eating. They better leave me alone. Lane blows frustrated. I don't know what his problem is. He rams his body back against Trey again. Trey gets in my face moving away from Lane.

"Yall really killing it." I say through my teeth.

"We love you." Trey says kissing my neck.

I pause the show rewinding it. "I should be able to pick my partner. Have an audition first. I swear I ain't with no bullshit."

"That King say. Bullshit." Lane says cutting his eyes at me.

"Don't play with me."

Lane licks his finger. "I do it Mommy? Me? I do?"

"That's a bad word."

"No it not. What?"

I roll my eyes. "Go be a kid."

"Bullshit is a bad word." Trey says.

"No it not." Lane sucks his teeth. "Bullshit?"

"Shit. Bullshit." Trey explains.

Lane ain't having it. "A bull."

"Bullshit."

"A cow?"

Trey looks at Lane. "A cow?"

"B for Bull." Lane says like Trey stupid.

Trey looks at me then kiss my lips. "Your turn."

"I am not following him up." I snap.

Lane keeps eating his food like he won his case. He is going to say that fucking word again. He knows he isn't supposed to say it. I'm not playing games with him. I'm not following his ass up. Trey lost to an almost 3 year old. I can't just call him 2. He pass that stage. We doing full sentences and logic now. Tell me exactly why I can't do it. That's his current stage. Why? King says it why can't I?

"Lane Who said a bull is a cow?" Trey asks.

"Huh?"

Trey takes his food. "Who said a bull is a cow?"

"My fruit." He whines starting to get down. He is going to tell on Trey.

"Here." Trey says giving it back. "How the hell he knows that?"

Lane goes back to eating his food.

"Lane?"

"Ma'am Mommy."

I smile kissing him. "B is for bull?"

"Bah." He says.

"Oh." I kiss him. "Very good. Where did you see the bull?"

He licks his hand. "The church. The big church."

Trey sucks his teeth. "He tells you just that simple."

"I asked a different question, Tremaine. He figured it out on his own so he didn't know the answer to your question."

"Yeah." Trey says mad still.

I sigh kissing him. Lane spins around looking at me. He watches me kiss Trey again. He pushes the empty bowl off his lap. Just for attention. I push his ass down towards the bowl. He fights me then hits the floor. He picks the bowl up throwing the spoon. I ignore him.

"Lane, I love you." I say.

He moves towards the spoon then looks at me. "Mommy?"

"Daylan."

"Get the fork." He says grabbing it.

"I love you, Lane." I say again.

He runs. "My fruit." He starts whining.

"Right here, Lane." Someone says to him from the hall.

What am I gonna do with all these men? Caden fighting Lane. Lane fighting his fucking daddy. Next they both gonna be fighting Trey. If Trey doesn't spoil Caden so much he doesn't listen to me like Lane does. Me and Lane understood each other before Trey. I don't get my way with Caden. I can't say Trey not around because he is always there.

"If our next baby exist and it's not a girl I'm leaving." I say.

"I got what my mama had. I wouldn't care if we didn't have anymore." Trey says getting in my face.

I kiss him. "There goes your son."

Lane walks into the room whining. Gwen is behind him with his bowl. He cries pushing her back out the room. She lean over and stand him up straight. I'm getting happy inside to see some real discipline but she fucking gives him the bowl. He takes it walking away no more crying. Fucking fake. Where is the discipline?

"O big face snotty nose." Trey says to Lane.

"Mh." Lane says twisting his shoulder like he don't care at Trey.

I grab the bowl that almost tilts over on me. He falls out on the ground.

"Boy you need... get this bowl." I snap.

"It mine." He pouts.

His ass sleepy. I roll my eyes. "I know that sir. Get your bowl."

He climbs up on my lap first moving Trey. Oh my goodness. Trey picks with him. I'm about to run away. I sit the bowl in Lane's lap. He starts eating the blueberries out of the bowl. He had more blueberries than anything else this time. Trey kisses Lane. Lane tries to feed him a blueberry. They friends now?

[highschoolrealityff]

Chapter 24

Kade 

Everything couldn’t be more perfect than it actually was. Chris and I’s little situationship was getting more solid than before. There was nothing that could ruin what we have going on. I was truly ready to see where this could go and hopefully for the future. As I was getting ready for bed. I couldn’t help but think about that day where shit was all fucked up. Keisha really was willing to protect herself from Keeis. I pray and hope that I’m never in that situation. 

I slowly scrolled through my Twitter TL and just liked and retweeted some post. As I kept scrolling something caught my eye. It looked like someone I followed from school liked something Kambria posted. 

@Bossbxtchkam : I can’t stand females who have to fuck it up for the rest of us. He doesn’t even like you Sis. 

I really didn’t have the energy to entertain her childish antics. She’s the one who wants to have such a problem with me over Chris. I don’t want him that badly but I’m not going to give up on our potential. I set my phone down on my nightstand and got comfy under my comforter blanket. For right now I’m going to ignore this sad cry for help. 

As my eyes were getting heavy. Sleep was approaching me faster than I could think. 

~~~

My alarm was blaring loud disturbing my peaceful slumber. I was dreaming that everything with Chris and I was perfect. No distractions just vibes. My phone began vibrating violently on my nightstand. Grabbing my phone violently to stop the disturbance it was giving to my peaceful state of sleep. “Hello?�� I answered and tapped the speaker. “T1. Have you checked your TL yet?” Mal asked as I yawned and rolled my eyes. “Girl no” I said as I exited the phone screen and tapped the Twitter app. “Well Kambria is coming for you motherfucking head Kade” Mal said as I was growing annoyed by the retweets and just the fact this girl had a problem with me. I haven’t done anything to her personally. What Chris and I have is between us. How was I suppose to know the girl was obsessed with the boy. I don’t blame her but damn girl step your game up. 

Mallory

My day was already starting off on the dramatic tip all because a thirsty ass bitch wants to try my best friend. She clearly didn’t want to come for her because I was always ready to research and discover receipts if needed. “Mally! Mally!” My twin brothers yelled in unison as they busted through my door. I couldn’t help but smile even though I didn’t like when they would do that. “Hi Boys” I said cheerfully as they both ran and hugged my legs. Those two practically almost knocked me down. “Alright! Alright!” I said laughing as they released me of their tight grip. “Mami says breakfast is ready!” They said in unison as it always creeped me out. “Ok I’ll be down in a minute” I said as I ruffled both of their curly heads. They turned in sync and ran out my door. 

~~~

I could feel the tension as soon as I walked up to the Quad. I definitely don’t understand where Kambria’s animosity was coming from. We literally as a friend group welcomed her in and she wants to come for my best friend’s head? I walked up to the chaos that was going to ensue shortly. 

“I just want to talk Chris” Kambria said as she stood firm with her arms tightly crossed over her chest. Kade just sat quietly as she watched the interaction that was going on. “I already told you. There’s nothing to talk about dude” Chris said too nonchalantly. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I sure was going to find out. “Kade!” I whispered loudly to her. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I motioned her to get up so we could talk. She slowly got up and walked towards me. “What the hell is going on?” I asked confused to all that was going on. 

“I was hanging out with Chris before first period starts and this bitch bombards her way over to us all upset” She said rolling her eyes and placing her hands on her hips. “I thought their little whatever the hell it was ended” I replied. “Well it is according to Chris but this bitch is hung up on some bullshit” Kade said then quickly looked over to Chris and Kambria arguing. 

“Look! I alright told you before it didn’t happen. Let the shit go man!” Chris yelled as he was growing upset as well. “Why can’t you just admit it to me!? If you did then I wouldn’t have to keep asking you to talk to me” Kambria yelled back. “Man get the fuck on. There’s nothing left to say man” Chris said as he turned his back to her and started walking towards us. 

“Chris, I’m pregnant!” Kambria said as I felt everything go black around me. 

[dreamdollxbreezy]

Stage Eight

Tammy(Dream)

"Can I have this mommy!?" Gabby came running down the isle.

"Stop running in the store." I take the box of fruit snacks she wanted. "Ok pick between this or the popsicles because your not getting both."

She whines flopping her arms around. I just walked off.

"Mommy wait!"

"What did I say about running?" She pouts pulling at her shirt. "Pick one now." She picked the snacks.

"Aw why my bunny looking all sad?" Winter came carrying two bottles of wine.

"She wants two different sweets I told her to pick one."

So my moms friend called me about this house she's flipping. My mom really ran her mouth about me because she basically begging me to come and do the designs for this house. It's a three story townhouse and I've already got an idea plenty ideas of what to do to this place.

But this fear of failure is getting in the way. This is literally my dream job. I don't have to go get some kind of training or whatever I can just get right to it. But what if she doesn't like it? What if the buyers don't like it? What if I fuck everything up!? I just wish I would give myself that push and go for what I want.

"Your total is $88.55 cash or card?"

"Card credit please." My groceries are bagged and I wait for winter to finish.

Gabby skipped by with the box of fruit snacks I put back earlier. "I know this girl did not GABRIELLE!"

She stopped looking back. "Woah woah I bought them for her!" Winter quickly came over just before I could grab her up.

"Why?"

"Because she looked so sad earlier and you know I hate seeing my baby upset." She picked her up walking out.

Winter is always spoiling that girl I don't know why she doesn't just have a kid of her own. We get the car packed and drive back home. It's been a long day and all I really want is to have a simple dinner and cuddle up for a movie before passing out.

"Who's car is that?"

Pulling into my driveway I make sure to take my pepper spray as I go to see whoever this is. A woman gets out and all I can think of is Chase. Is this April coming to start problems?

"Tabitha Robinson?"

"Yes?"

"You've been served." She smiled and walks off.

My heart raced looking at this envelope in my hand. I can't believe this bastard really thinks he's about to take my child from me! He didn't want anything to do with her before or any of the times I tried to get him to see her oh but now all of a sudden he's some super dad?

Getting all the bags in and gabby situated I start on a bottle of wine. While downing my fourth glass in under five minuets winter called out to me. She walks in with chase and hope behind her.

"I missed you ms Tammy." She hugged my legs.

"I missed you to. I love your hair did your mommy do this?"

She shook her head. "Daddy did. Is gabby here?"

I told her she's in her room winter showing her. That left me alone with chase. It's been some time since I've been in the same breathing area as him. Can't lie about missing him. Clearing his throat he slowly came over handing me a pink gift bag.

"What is this?"

"A-an apology gift." He took off his glasses. "I uh...I never meant to disrespect you or make you feel like I thought different because of your job that was never it. We met while at your place of work if I had a issue I wouldn't have even been there."

"Being there and being with me is different. I don't want you spending money on me if it's to show off."

Frowning he grabs my hand leading the way into my living room sitting.

"I really like you Tammy in a way I haven't since my daughters mother. But even with her it wasn't like this. You are head strong, confident, independent, a great mother, smart, beautiful beyond beautiful. I don't care what you do for a living I promise my comments the other night we're not to attack you in anyway."

I know this is all just words. I dropped his hand sitting on mine. His shoulders dropped along with his head.

"It really felt like it but I've already come to understand it wasn't ever suppose to get this far anyway. We're just to different and plus I'm sure all I would do is bring shame and drama to your perfect life."

"Tammy please don't think that. I don't care what my mother wants all she cares about money but that's not me baby I swear. I want you."

Chase

It's obvious she's not believing me. I didn't know my words went this deep to her. If I'd known this would be the reaction I couldn't just kept my mouth shut. Calling myself encouraging her like she did me at the shop guess I didn't do it right.

"Then why did you suddenly bring up my job? Look all this is nice but I already knew this wouldn't work we are just to different and I don't want to tarnish your image with you being with me."

Taking a slim chance I take her hand pulling until she's sitting on my lap. Having some physical may help her see just how serious I really am.

"Remember when we went and had some desserts with the girls? You told me basically to chase my dreams get out this routine and just take chances....you really inspired and encouraged me that day. I called myself doing that for you."

Her eye drop from mine. I lift her back up needing her to see The honestly in my words.

"Your occupation will not stop me from perusing a relationship. Us being different just leaves room for teaching and learning. I want to be with you Tammy and again I apologize for hurting your feelings with my words."

"But-"

"Nothing but nothing. If I'm not worried you don't need to be."

She stood suddenly starting to pace. "I can't I care about you to much to just bring you into the mess that is my life. You have a good one I'm sure there's some other stripper you can save and give a new life to without carrying so much luggage."

"Baby what are talking about? You think this is some kind of charity case for me?" She didn't answer just hugged her body looking anywhere but me. "I brought you around my daughter I introduced you to my mother. They are the two most important people to me...not just anyone meets them."

"Chase please don't make this hard I'm trying to save you." Her eyes tear up.

"What do I need saving from!?" She jumped. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. You are just not making any sense Tammy. I'm telling you I want to be with you and I don't care what anyone says. My status or money will not come between us I can promise you that."

We stood together hugging as she cried into my chest. It's clear something else is bugging her it can't just be my mom intimidating her. Even though she didn't seem to feared while they were together. Maybe I can get them together again for a proper greeting. She wipes her face leaving me just to come back seconds later.

Holding out a envelope I feared the worst even before opening it.

"He wants full custody of her. He has the money and I'm sure plenty of people on his side. I'm gonna lose the only thing on this earth keeping me here everyday."

Sitting she just cried more. Instead of me needing saving it's obvious she needs it more than me. I'm gonna do everything in my power to help keep this family together. Sitting with her I pull her hands from her face.

"Hey I said I would help you through this if he went through with it right? That's exactly what I'm gonna do he will not take her from you I can promise you that."

[miseryff]

24. Guilty, much?

Derrick

I quickly exited the message thread with Paris, to read the awaiting message from Tiara. I swear this girl could not take a hint. What part of I got a girl couldn’t she understand?

That’s what I get for trying to be Mr. Bitches and have two girls in two different states. I pulled on my beard as I read the lengthy message.

From Tiara: it’s not fair, Derrick! I understand that you got a bitch in New York. But I thought I was your bitch in Houston? How do you think I feel when I see pictures of you and the next bitch, on Instagram? You couldn’t even tell me that there was a charity dinner or have the decency to invite me as your date! So since the New York bitch can come to Texas, when you gonna bring me to New York?

I only smacked my lips before deciding that I wasn’t gonna reply to Tiara. Tiara was actually one of my old workers at my father’s original sneaker store. I had to let her go due to her not abiding by the work schedule, and also due to her reckless mouth towards the customers in the store. I fired shawty maybe two years ago when I first took over the store from my pops.

Two years later we reconnected when she applied to work at my second sneaker store. Can you believe that? I aint hire shawty, but she sure as hell wanted to bless me with a blow job after the job interview. I dont know why I ain’t turn shawty down on her offer. I think it’s because Paris and I were on rocky terms that month, and we didn’t speak for almost two weeks.

Despite the bull shit ass excuse I remained fucking with Tiara, and she been in the picture for about two months now. While Paris and I were going on five months of dating.

I was gonna drop her ass as soon as I got back to Houston. Paris was carrying my baby now and I wasnt gonna have anyone mess up our future family.

Paris

I was now laying in bed with Derrick after that bomb ass smoke session with Dre. I had to drop by my house and shower real quick to remove the stench of weed from my body and hair. As well as cleanse my lower body area from the blood after today’s sneaky operation.

I could not utilize tampons for a week, since that’s how long the bleeding would last. So I had no choice but to wear this thick ass maxi-pad, and avoid each one of Derrick’s attempts to dip his hand into my shorts.

I guess he finally caught the hint because he stormed out of the room a minute ago, stating that he was about to go on a run. Apparently I was giving him blue balls and he needed to shake that shit off. I chuckled as images of his needy ass face came back to me.

Baby really wanted to fuck like I wasnt already ‘pregnant’. Speaking of that, I needed to figure out this false miscarriage shit. I knew a nigga at a hospital that could provide me with some authentic ass discharge papers, confirming that I suffered a miscarriage. However, I needed to figure out exactly how I was gonna carry out this shit.

If I was to tell Derrick that I was in the hospital due to a miscarriage, he would be at the hospital and by my side in a hurry. However, if I waited until he returned to Houston then I could easily just inform him that I suffered a miscarriage, and then send him pictures of the discharge paperwork.

The latter was the best option. Too bad the entire purpose of Derrick even being in NY was so that he could assist me with alerting my parents about my ‘pregnancy’. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair.

Right now is one of the rare moments when I wish I had a girlfriend that I could vent to, and lean on for advice. I couldn’t keep a girlfriend to save my life though, and the last one that I did have— I made the selfish choice and fucked her nigga. Then fight her.

“You sure know how to fuck things up, Paris.”

My self reflection was interrupted when I heard a phone ringing. It couldn’t have been my phone because my shit was rested on my stomach.

I lifted the covers and saw Derrick’s matte black iPhone. Quickly grabbing the phone, my face contorted once I seen the contact ‘Tiara’.

Who the fuck is Tiara?

“Hello?” I put the phone on speaker as I sat up in bed.

“Where’s Derrick? Why you answering his phone?” I made the illest ‘the fuck?’ face before picking the phone up and bringing it close to my lips.

“He’s in the bathroom. Wassup, what you need?”

For some odd reason I wasn’t angry that the next bitch was calling my man’s phone. I was surprisingly chilling. I wonder if it’s because I just had a secret abortion and wasn’t even sure who the baby daddy was.

“Just tell him to hit me back. Nigga got both his bitches talking to each other.” She muttered before the call dropped. Shrugging, I easily dropped his phone back onto the covers.

That bitch doesn’t know it, but she just gave me the perfect angle when it came to orchestrating this miscarriage stunt.

-------------------------------------------

Derrick returned from his run maybe twenty minutes later. I smirked as I watched him strip from his black Nike tank top, and matching basketball shorts ensemble. As much as it pained me to do this, I had to do it. Especially if I wanted to keep this secret abortion shit a secret.

“Why you over there smiling to yourself, kid? Looking weird.” I continued to smile as I watched him walk over to where I laid on the bed. He ducked down and pressed his soft lips to mine, before snaking his tongue into my mouth. I melted into the kiss for about thirty seconds before I was pushing him away.

It was go time.

“Some girl by the name of Tiara called while you were out. She said something about you having two bitches? I’m not sure, but sis said that you should call her back.” My tone held no emotion as I searched the room for my croc slippers. There was no sound from his end as I looked underneath his bed for my possessions.

“I’m so sorry, Paris... aint shit else I can say besides I���m sorry. That girl means nothing to me. The only people that are important to me are you and our child that you’re carrying.”

I stared at him for a total of three seconds before slipping my feet into my crocs. If only Derrick knew that I gave zero fucks about him having another bitch back in Houston. I had two niggaz at the moment, so what type of dumb bitch would I be to trip over my man having another girlfriend. As long as Derrick knew nothing about me and Dre, then I was cooling.

 He couldn’t know that though. I had to manipulate his mind and have him believe that I was all hurt and shit, and wanted nothing to do with him and his cheating.

“I won’t lie and say I’m not hurt... because I am. Here I am pregnant with our baby and the next bitch is revealing to me that she also has my nigga. Shit is embarrassing. I love you of course, but I think I need some space. You can go back to Houston cause at the moment I don’t want shit to do with you.”

The look on his face changed from shocked to confusion, quick as shit.

“Go back to Houston? I’m here to help you--”

“I don’t need your help with shit, Derrick. I don’t even want to be around you right now. I’ll deal with my parents. Just give me some space, for real..”

“But I love you and--”

“And I love you too. But I just found out you’re cheating on me. I’m not about to have you up in my face like that’s not a big deal. Listen, I’m out. We can talk another day. But like I said I don’t want shit to do with you right now. So go back to Houston or stay here at your aunt crib, I don’t give a shit. Just know you not about to be around me.”

That seemed to be the last nail in the coffin because he said nothing as I grabbed my bag off the dresser and exited the bedroom. My face held the brightest smile as I jogged down the staircase. I’ll let him think I’m mad at him for about a month or so, and then I’d call him and tell him that I forgave him.

By the time a month passes I would be all healed from the abortion anyways.

This was all some weak bitch shit, and I would never go out this sad in real life.

But at the moment I had a storyline to stick to, and if I wanted Derrick to remain in my life then I could not ever let him find out about my secret abortion. Or the fact that I was fucking him and my homie at the same time.

Derrick will be okay. He has his Houston bitch’s shoulder to cry on while I give him the cold shoulder for the upcoming month.

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 60.2

Narrator POV:

Destani’s eyes rolled for what felt like the thousandth time, maybe. Her head was starting to hurt, her bottom had been hurting, and she was completely drained. But she didn’t want to shut her eyes for too long and miss the announcement that her niece was here!

“Dez, I know you hear my stomach growling. Come go with me down to the cafeteria… I’m starving!” Tameka whined in her ear. Because of Destani’s evident attitude, she refrained from turning around and slapping her friend… she didn’t have time for an all-out brawl in the middle of the waiting room.

“Meka, it’s a whole entire bag of snacks Auntie brought right there. Eat that and calm down.”

Destani said, watching as Tameka huffed as hard as she could, slamming herself back into her seat even harder… and she rolled her eyes so damn hard Destani thought they would pop out of her head. So dramatic.

“Stop being a cry baby, Meeks.” Destani rolled her eyes yet again at the sound of Kendrick’s voice… where was this guy for the past ten minutes his girlfriend had been complaining?

“Uh…” Meka sat up in her seat and pressed the tips of the fingers of her right hand into her chest, “I know you not talking to me.”

“Nah baby, come on now…” Kendrick chuckled, nervously at that. Destani giggled at the sound… ‘he’s such a bitch when it comes to her’ she thought.

“Boy don’t nah baby me! You need to be worried about why your woman is sitting up in this stale waiting room in this uncomfortable seat, starving to death… and get out my business!” She fussed.

“Meka you know darn well you need to chill out. It’s too early for all them shenanigans now… each a nutrigrain bar and chill yo boisterous behind out!” Dontay snapped. He sat in the row across from Tameka and Destani swore she’d just seen him knocked out two seconds ago. His sudden outburst clearly disturbed Tawny who was curled up at his side, sleeping her damn self. She sat up with a confused look on her face, a deep red indention in her right cheek, and the right side of her curly hair meshed against her head… Destani couldn’t help but laugh.

“If all of ya’ll don’t calm down! Dontay is absolutely right… it’s too early for all this fussing. Tameka, baby… eat a damn nutrigrain bar and zip it, alright.” Everyone’s eyes bucked over to Ms. Joyce and that time, Destani had to slap a hand over my mouth to keep her laughter down. She knew it was early and she was probably on edge about her grandbaby, but geez… no one had ever heard her snap like that!

Tameka frowned and for a few seconds she looked like she’d really gotten her feelings hurt, but she certainly did exactly what Mama said and shut her damn mouth and took that nutrigrain bar.

They’d all been cooped up in the waiting room down the hall from Sy’s room for what felt like all of eternity and obviously everybody and they mama, literally, was getting extremely impatient. The best part about it was that they weren’t far from Sy’s room and they did get the entire space to themselves… seeing as they took up so much room.

After a while of sitting there, butt numbing in the most irritating way, Destani swore she could hear the faint cry of a baby. Staring down at the floor and squinting with concentration, she figured for a moment that the cry could have belonged to any baby because they were indeed in the middle of a maternity ward. But the sudden feeling of joy creeping through her chest told her that wasn’t just any baby… that was Cailah! She gasped and snatched her head up to face Mama Joyce, ready to scream out that the baby was here, but she was already grinning from ear to ear because clearly she knew too.

“Ya’ll hear that?” Tameka asked, sitting up in her seat. And just as Destani opened her mouth to respond, there was a sudden commotion that rendered them all speechless. The noise came from the same hall as Sy’s room, so of course a few of them immediately hopped up from their seats to go find out what was going on.

“What’s wrong with her? Hope, wake up… wake her up… now!” Destani damn near stopped in her tracks at the bone chilling sound of his voice… Chris’s voice. Except, he didn’t sound like Chris. Ms. Cynthia, Mama Joyce, Diana, and Sy’s dad all rounded the corner first and that’s when Destani realized something was terribly wrong. There were a few nurses who had Chris pinned against the wall directly across from Sy’s room and not a single one of them looked like they had him fully restrained, at all. But what did he even need to be restrained for… what happened?

“Tell me what’s wrong with her! HOPE… WAKE UP!” He barked, snatching his left arm out of a male nurse’s hand. He swung his hand back around and pushed the man away from him, sending him flying several feet away and landing on his back.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER!” He continued to scream and Destani’s brisk walk finally slowed to an intimidated teeter as she watched one of her best friends since child hood morph into someone she’d never seen before in her life. The veins in this boy’s neck bulged with the strength of a body builder, his face was so red she thought he would start bleeding right through his skin, and his eyes… were the exact opposite of their normal golden brown, they were almost black.

“What the hell is going on?” Hope’s dad’s voice was the first that could actually be distinguished over the rumble of chaos breaking out in the hallway. He somehow managed to zip past everyone bustling in the hallway and flew toward Chris, swiftly taking the place of the nurse who still laid out on the floor like he’d just been shot. Ms. Cynthia and Diana joined him, crowding around Chris who failed to make eye contact with anyone around him. His stare remained one with the now closed door of Sy’s room and he sucked in air so desperately it really looked like his chest would cave in at any minute.

“Oh God, I don… I don’t know. Lord, I don’t know what’s happening!” The girls all turned to find Aunt Maddie lingering near the closed door, her entire face saturated with tears.

“Madison, what is going on? What happened in there? Is everything alright with Sy’Diyah and the baby?” Diana asked, approaching Aunt Maddie and gripping her by her shoulders.

“I don’t know. Diana… I don’t know. She wasn’t responding.”

“Who wasn’t responding? Sy or the baby?”

“Sy’Diyah!”

The hall flooded with gasps of shock, Diana pulled Auntie forward and embraced her when it seemed like her legs completely gave out, and Chris hollered louder.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME! GET OFF ME!” At this point the boys all flew forward to assist with the maniac that was he, but even with a crowd of his family and closest friends surrounding him, he still wasn’t backing down.

Chris grunted and screamed, and lost himself… he completely lost himself in that hallway, and that’s when it hit Destani. He wasn’t even himself. She didn’t know much about his disorders… all she knew were the few minor details Sy had shared with her. And she knew about the tantrums he’d have when he would get angry as a kid. But never in her life would she have imagined this.

“Get off me, please God… get off of me!” His head slammed back against the wall and he cried so hard, it made Destani cry. She hated to see him this way and she hated even more that Sy’Diyah wasn’t here to bring him back to himself. He was here, right here in the hallway flinging people away from him like they were ants, but he wasn’t here… Chris was nowhere to be found.

“Baby, listen to me.” Ms. Joyce finally crept through the scene and even she looked weary to get too close to her enraged son, “Look at me Chris.”

His whole damn body was trembling and his face was sweating, but his concentration on the door ahead never wavered… until Ms. Joyce got just close enough to gently lay a hand against his face.

“Christopher, look at me.” Something about her voice or her touch grabbed just an inch of his attention and his ominous eyes finally dropped to her.

“Do you hear me?” She asked, gripping onto his face with both hands now. He nodded once to acknowledge her, but his harsh breathing never slowed down and his body continued to tremble.

“Don’t you take your eyes off me, okay?” She demanded. Somehow, Ms. Joyce managed to stay as calm as she was with the amount of tears she was crying. He followed her instructions though and kept his unblinking eyes glued to her, even as she carefully raised her left hand and the needle that was in it up to his arm. The girls all huddled together a few feet away from the chaos, stunned by the sight of that needle jabbing into his skin. It was a sedative. Ms. Joyce had been equipped with it the day Chris was released from the institute and instructed to only use it in severe circumstances… and this, was an extremely severe circumstance.

His body seemed to suddenly shudder and quake, then suddenly the fight was over. He stopped flailing, stopped putting up a fight against anyone in his near vicinity, everything just stopped. From the left they could hear more commotion, hospital security rushing along to regulate the situation.

“What’s going on here?” A tall dark chocolate man spoke, frowning at the sight of one of the employees just now being assisted back up onto his feet by Rashad. A shorter Hispanic man was with him and he too frowned the more he scoped the scene, taking in the sight of what looked to be an unconscious man pressed up against a wall with multiple people keeping him pinned there. No one immediately volunteered to speak up and explain an incident that still didn’t make much sense to the surrounding spectators, until Ms. Joyce turned to face them with swollen and moist eyes.

“Officer… everything is fine.”

  Omniscient:

Is there such a place where no one exists? Where pain is not pain, love is not love, beauty is not beauty, the heart does not beat, there is no spirit, there is no soul… but rather, one is not dead? Is there a place where chaos, turmoil, hate, violence, crime… cease to exist, but one is not in heaven? There are no walls, there is no ceiling, no floor for gravity to weigh you down upon, no air for one to breathe… but, one still lives within? There is a place, only… it is too far to touch with the hand of man. And yet, it is so close that it surrounds us constantly, short of our knowledge.

There is a bed here, in this place, and a woman who bores life, she exists on that bed… but only her, no one else. She grunts and groans with a feeling, a sensation, that cannot be determined because here… feelings and sensations do not exist. There is an extraordinary occurrence happening within that space and between that woman and that bed. She is granting life to another, who will surely go on to exist… in a world where there is air to breathe, water to bathe and drink, life to live. But she, that woman… does she exist?

It was her, Hope, and only that bed. And now, only one other being… her child, that she bore all alone, with no feelings or sensations… because they do not exist. The child was there, between her legs on that bed and crying out into the world that was nothing. But as if bound to that bed by ropes and chains that did not exist in this place, Hope stared at her… hopeless… motionless. But she wept, silently, emotionally, and without expression as she stared… and the child cried.

“She is chaos and beauty intertwined. A tornado of roses from divine. She is your daughter… the loveliest little person you’ve ever known.”

A gasp that could not be heard fled Hope’s lips and her eyes danced upward, into the nothing. No one was there, but her and her child, but the voice was so distinct… she could feel it against her skin like a cool wind on a brisk day.

“Grandchild to me, she is… such a beauty.”

She could feel the voice in her bones, igniting her with some type of feeling… but, she had none. She could not speak, could not move a muscle, could not breathe… but she inhaled, somehow. ‘What is this? Who’s there?’

“My darling… my honey. I hear your fear. I feel your fear. But fear, you must not.” She hadn’t spoken… hadn’t said a word. But her cobalt eyes wept in silence, her blushed cheeks catching her tears and releasing them to her chest.

Her chest… covered by golden tresses cascading in thick waves down to her waist. She was naked, as was the child. ‘Who’s there?’

This voice, it swirled all around her and made her feel warm… and safe… even in this land of nothing. But she wanted to know who it belonged to. Who lived in her mind and plucked her thoughts without her consent?

Her eyes danced all about, and her head may or may not have moved from left to right… but she was surrounded by such dense nothing, and the feeling of no sensation overwhelmed her so… she could not determine whether she moved at all.

And there, at her feet, near the end of the bed appeared a swirl. It whirled about for a while, hypnotizing her in a way that her eyes could no longer blink. And from that mystic swirl, was a woman born. She was a beautiful woman, stunning in a way that Hope had never witnessed. Her hair was like water, even more golden than Hope’s own, and flowed continuously against the woman’s shoulders. Her eyes were a bright ice blue, and they were strong and demanding, yet too intimidating to hold onto for long. Her skin glowed as though she’d bathed in a sea of glitter and it would make even the most flawless woman envious. This woman… she was captivating.

She stood there at the end of the bed, smiling down at the whimpering baby, who writhed between Hope’s legs helplessly.

“Such a beauty.” She repeated in a voice just as captivating as her entire aura. She lifted her ice blue stare from the baby and it landed on Hope, who seemed to tremble from the intensity. There seemed to be an almost permanent smile on the woman’s face that reached something within Hope, something that aided her to breathe and feel at ease.

‘Who are you?’

She felt calm, at ease in the woman’s presence and filled with an overwhelming sensation… love, perhaps? But… could that exist in the land of nothing? And somehow, whoever this woman was, she was such an almighty existence that she was able to exist there at the end of the bed… as well as in Hope’s thoughts.

‘You are awfully strong, you know? In the heart, the body, and the mind. You remind me so much of myself.’

‘What is this place?’ Hope wanted answers and for some reason, the woman was refusing to give her any. It was as though she could interpret her thoughts, but it was impossible for her to respond directly.

‘It is what you make of it,’ Slowly and gracefully the woman reached down and forward to scoop the naked child into her arms and that alone ceased the whimpers altogether, ‘But, my child, you must strive to overcome this existence. For it is not your existence.’

My child… what did she mean by, my child? Gazing at the ice blue eyed beauty, Hope couldn’t deny an overpowering feeling of familiarity. And if she didn’t know any better, she’d say the woman looked like a replica of herself. But she did know better. Because the woman, and this place, did not exist.

‘You must find the courage to go back to him… for, this time, he will not survive in your absence.’ The woman floated around a few feet away from the bed, staring down at the child cradled quietly in the crook of her arm. Her smile never wavered… the little girl looked exactly like him. She hadn’t cracked those tiny eyes open yet, but the woman had an inkling that she would possess the same shade of blue as herself… and Hope.

Her eyes remained one with this perfect woman as she rounded the edge of the bed and stood graciously at her side. Lifting her head, she gazed down upon the young woman lying there, quivering in her skin. There were tear stains coating her cheeks, though she now looked completely at ease. The woman’s smile dimmed slowly and without the young girl’s knowledge, she lifted a hand to her cheek and gently grazed the tips of her fingers against her warm skin. Hope gasped, aloud this time, and failed to even blink as she stared up into those harsh eyes magnetically.

‘My child… here you are, in a place where you do not belong. I wish that I could keep you here, all to myself, and stare at your beauty for all of eternity. But this is not your destiny… this is not your home. You must go, be with him. He is for you and you for he.’

The stains that once coated her skin were moistened once more by the tears that flowed carelessly down her cheeks. This woman gripped onto Hope’s chin with such a delicate touch… a mother’s touch. She gasped, yet again, and again the woman’s smile returned.

‘I love you, my child,’ With ease and care she lowered the child into Hope’s awaiting lap and leaned down to meet the skin of her forehead with her lips, ‘Now go.’

  Hope

6lbs, 3oz, 19in.

 All ten fingers, all ten toes.

 Head full of slick, dark hair.

 Dark colored eyes and I wasn’t sure what color they would eventually end up.

 That addicting ‘baby’ smell that I’d been warned of, time and time again, filling my nostrils.

 I was utterly in love with Cailah Faith Brown… she was absolutely perfect. Before this day, I don’t know if I ever really knew love… not like the love I felt the exact moment I reached down between my own legs and touched my child, pulled her right out into her final destination. Feeling her tiny body in my grasp and pulling her up onto my chest, her head right against my left breast so that the first sound she’d ever know was the last sound she’d heard for nine months… my heartbeat. Hearing her cry the perfect cry that I could honestly admit, I wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of forever.

And when I awoke from an emergency surgery to remove my placenta and Dr. Zeeta herself personally placed my swaddled baby in my arms, I cried like I’d never cried before. After Dr. Zeeta made sure I was stabilized and strong enough to do so, she left Cailah and I alone for one hour… our golden hour. I obviously didn’t get my hour immediately after giving birth, but that was okay… it was all okay. I was here now, with my baby, and for this hour… no one else mattered.

I stared down at her pleasantly sleeping face and wondered, how on earth could I create something so magnificent. What did I do to deserve this little girl? God, I’d never known this love.

“Hi mama’s baby.” I cooed, washing the edge of my right index finger delicately over her plump rosy cheek. I was so completely amazed and transfixed by her… she was honestly more than I ever could have imagined. I still couldn’t even fully feel my legs from the epidural, but I was assured that that would wear off soon. Pushing myself up further as best I could, I kept my eyes on my little prize and grinned at the sight of her tiny face contorting as I moved.

“Oooh what is that face?” I giggled, watching her face settle again, “Mommy’s sorry baby.”

I was so infatuated with her, I wanted to lay her on the bed in front of me and unswaddle her, just so I could stare at every inch of her to make sure she was really mine. I settled for pushing her pink hat back just enough to satisfy my urge to stare at her hair. I wasn’t just saying it because she was mine… this little girl was seriously perfect. Her hair was so divine and it swirled all over her head, I couldn’t help but wonder how I didn’t suffer from heartburn throughout the pregnancy because it was just that much of it. Just like her eyes, I couldn’t tell what color her tresses would be, but I had to remember… I had the rest of forever to find out.

I smiled and tugged the hat back into its rightful place over her perfectly shaped head. This felt so… right. This moment, right now, shared only between my daughter and I… was right. There was an indescribable emotion brewing in my heart and it left the muscular organ feeling like it would simply explode. I was filled to the brim with joy and love and infatuation and I knew that I never wanted this moment to end… I never wanted this feeling to go away.

I was meant to be a mother. I was meant to be this little girl’s mommy. If I was ever doubtful before, one thing I could be absolutely sure of now… this was my calling. I’d never felt so sure of anything in my life.

My eyes remained fixed on her and I watched her go through what looked like a handful of emotions as her face started to contort again. Until finally, her bottom lip dipped into her mouth and she started to suckle it. I laughed… she must have been hungry.

“Are you hungry little girl? Is mama’s baby hungry?” I asked, as if she would really respond to me. I guess now I could understand that odd exchange I’d heard so many women have with the tiniest baby’s in the grocery store… it’s like second nature to just talk to your baby.

Dr. Zeeta had explained, just after getting me situated with Cailah over half an hour ago, that if I felt that impulse to feed her I should go with it and at least give it a shot. She said she would be sending in a lactation consultant later just to go over a few tips with me and to check to see how comfortable I felt with the whole process. But right now, something about the thought of making sure my daughter didn’t go hungry made my confidence fly through the roof.

She would be breastfed, there was no argument to that. I had a heart to heart with Ms. Joyce once, one of the many that we’d had over the years, and she explained breastfeeding to me in such a way that sounded almost magical. She said there was nothing like it, because it was a guaranteed moment that only I could share with Cailah. Anyone could come along with a bottle and a fake nipple and call themselves feeding a baby, but no one could take away my ability to breastfeed. That would always be our moment… it would always be our ‘golden hour.’ It would constantly strengthen our bond, because I was the only one who could fill her up with the nutrients required for her to thrive… that was our moment.

Smiling down at her, I continued to coo gently because she looked like she would get agitated any minute. As I cooed and sweet talked her, I worked with one arm to slip the side of my gown down so I could get my left breast out. Once that task was done, and the five seconds I spent gawking in utter horror at my over engorged boob were over, I managed to get Cailah comfortably situated in the crook of my left arm. I loosened the front of her tight swaddle enough to free her tiny hands and her chest and carefully angled her right in front of my nipple.

Whether from instinct or just because she was my daughter and she was just that damn smart, I wasn’t sure, but somehow by the grace of God this little girl’s flailing arms made contact with my skin. I watched in complete astonishment as she found her way right where she needed to be. Of course with my guidance and support against her back and neck, she latched on like a dream and I just about cried again. I’d heard so many horror stories about mother’s who struggled to get their newborns to latch on. I’d even been warned by Destani’s mom about the latch assist tool, which she subsequently ended up using with only Destani because she was just that difficult latching. But never in my wildest dreams did I think my baby would be a pro on her first try… all on her own!

“Good job baby,” I giggled, ignoring the awkward sensation of her suckling my nipple with her toothless mouth, “Mommy’s so proud of you.”

Coaxing her forward just slightly, I snuggled her close to my skin and wrapped her blanket over her left side to keep her completely covered. Dr. Zeeta had also explained to me that the skin to skin contact was vital for a newborn, so I wanted to do that as often as I could.

I don’t think my eyes left her for even a second since she’d been in my arms… and they didn’t shift for even a second when the door of my room slid open on the other side of the curtain. I heard a knock after the fact and I didn’t bother to respond, I was that wrapped up in my moment with Cailah.

“How are you two doing in here?” It was Dr. Zeeta’s gentle voice that invaded the silent bliss and I raised my head with a beaming grin to face her… I was excited to show her Cailah’s first big accomplishment.

“We’re doing good… well, this little one is doing excellent,” I giggled, glancing down at her while she sucked to her hearts content, “She just latched on a few minutes ago, all by herself.”

Dr. Zeeta’s mouth flew open and a genuine look of shock washed over her smiling face “No she didn’t! Well go ahead Miss Cailah, be my superstar baby of the year girl!”

We laughed together, quietly amongst ourselves, and eventually turned our attention to my baby “Dr. Zeeta, I’m so in love with her… she’s amazing.”

She crept up at my side and pat the palm of her hand against my right shoulder “As you should be. You got a little angel on your hands, honey. Such a beauty…”

Her words… those words… ‘such a beauty’ sent an unmistakable chill down my spine. I shuddered as discreetly as I could and even shut my eyes for a moment, because those three words caught me so off guard. I’d heard them before, recently… I know I had.

“Well listen, I didn’t mean to disturb you two… you’re doing such a beautiful job with her. But your golden hour is up and you know your family has been counting down the minutes.” She laughed. I giggled along with her, pushing the thought of her bone chilling words to the back of my mind. I’d honestly forgotten all about my family thanks to this little one… she already had me wrapped right around her little fingers.

“But before I go, I just wanted to tell you… I am personally very proud of you, young woman. You have done a phenomenal job from the day I met you and today… you displayed such strength and courage. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed anything like it in all my years. I’m excited for what’s to come for you and this little one. If you think you’re blessed to have her, honey God placed her in the right belly because she is truly blessed to have you.”

I stared at her back in awe as she moseyed away, not leaving me even a second to fix my face to cry even if I wanted to. There was something truly special about that lady… I think God may have etched it right into my plan to end up back home in Virginia, not only surrounded by Cailah’s loving village, but here in this hospital… with Dr. Zeeta specifically as my doctor. She was every girl’s dream throughout this entire process and I could honestly say, I was going to miss her when it was time for us to go home.

I guess she wasn’t lying though when she said my family was counting down the minutes of our golden hour… before I could register where she’d gone and what was happening, several pairs of footsteps could be heard teetering behind the closed curtain and by the grace of God, I was quickly able to snatch the thin sheet from my bed up over Cailah’s head… and my boob.

“My baby!” It was my aunt who appeared first, gasping and slapping her hands up over her mouth as if she hadn’t seen me in years. She trailed along into the room and everyone else followed along behind her.

“How you doing sweetheart?” My aunt asked, beelining straight for my left side. She leaned in over the bedrail before I could even respond and I instinctively flinched away from her before she could press herself against Cailah. She frowned for all of two seconds before it finally registered that there was indeed a bassinet in the room, so that must have meant there was a baby in here somewhere. Her eyes lit up excitedly and I giggled, shaking my head at her standing there looking like a kid in a candy store.

Carefully peeling the thin blanket back from my chest, I watched as she gasped and slapped her hands over her mouth, yet again. Her eyes even watered as she stared down at her great niece, who was still going to town on my boob.

“Jesus, look at her Sy’Diyah… she’s beautiful!” She cried. Everyone else filed in and headed straight for my bed, but my aunt held them off before they got too close by politely explaining that I was feeding. It was only the girls, my dad, and Ms. Diana though, and my dad swiftly shied away back toward the door, while of course the girls moved forward anyway and invaded my space. Luckily, Cailah seemed to have gotten her fill and my boob felt much more comfortable and deflated, so my aunt carefully helped me redress under the sheet and I passed the baby off to her so that she could be burped.

And that’s exactly when the girls bombarded me, each barely waiting for the other to lean over the bed rail to hug me. There were a few tears shed, because apparently they really thought they’d lost me. But once every eye in the room was dry, my aunt took the liberty to briefly explain what’d had everyone crying in the first place.

Postpartum hemorrhaging… my mother’s exact cause of death. My aunt said I apparently lost over five-hundred milliliters of blood almost immediately after delivering Cailah, which caused me to lose consciousness from the sudden drop in my blood pressure. She explained that Dr. Zeeta wasn’t initially concerned because she’d faced countless deliveries with even worse outcomes than the loss of consciousness. But she started to display her true concern after exactly twenty-two minutes of my placenta not expelling. At that point Dr. Zeeta prepped her team in the blink of an eye for emergency surgery to remove it. In the rarest possible scenario, my placenta became attached to the walls of my uterus… placenta accreta. It was something that should have been caught earlier on in my third trimester, but somehow flew under the radar… and nearly cost me my life on that delivery bed. The only reason I was knocked out for so long was because of the anesthesia.

As she quietly told the story while rocking Cailah in her arms, my eyes drifted naturally in the direction of my dad and that’s when the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. He tried to down play it by keeping his head down, but by the sound of the quiet sniffles, I could tell that he was crying.

He thought he’d lost me and it utterly broke my heart to know that I’d almost become the second person to put him through that heartache.

I watched, stared at his mannerisms and noted the way he tried to linger as close to the curtains near the door as possible, and my heart shattered even more at the sight. He was falling apart, just standing there, listening to my aunt go on so I finally stopped her.

“Dad,” I blurted, cutting my aunt off completely and silencing the room altogether, “Dad, please… come here.”

He sniffled hard and quickly raised a hand, swiping it up over his entire face to catch the moisture before finally raising his head to look at me through swollen, red eyes. Diana reached a hand up to pat him lovingly on the back, coaxing him to take a step forward closer to my bed. Eventually she ended up guiding him all the way to my bedside and I raised my right hand to him, letting him know that it was okay to get closer. He grabbed my hand and allowed me to tug him over the rail and the moment I wrapped my arms around him, and embraced him tighter, he whimpered and broke down right on my shoulder.

“Daddy it’s okay, I’m here… I’m right here. It’s okay.” I mumbled into the crook of his neck. I was fighting my own tears at this point, but I was determined to keep it together for his sake, because I hated seeing him like this.

He muttered something with his face pressed against mine, but he was crying and trembling so hard I couldn’t make out what he said. I only held him closer and swirled one hand against his back to remind him not only by my words, but by my touch that I was right here… I was okay.

“Sy’Diyah, I-I’m so… sorry. I-I’m sorry. I-I… I thought I… I thought I lost you.” He finally managed to get it together just enough to say those words and for a moment, I had to shut my eyes completely and get my thoughts together because I could feel myself on the verge of a breakdown.

“I thought I lost you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t handle that Sy. I just… I couldn’t take it.” He confessed. Opening my eyes, I allowed a few tears to fall down the sides of my face… his words pierced me right in the heart.

“But I’m here daddy, I’m right here. I’m so sorry I put you through that, but I promise you… I’m okay.”

Finally, he slowly pulled back to gaze at me through his painfully swollen eyes. The palms of his hands gently cupped the sides of my face and he stared at me for a while, then finally he tugged my face forward and pressed his lips against my forehead.

Somewhere behind me I could hear shuffling and at the same time, my dad loosened his grip on my face until he finally let me go altogether. Glancing up at him, I could see that something behind me had caught his eye. Turning my head only barely, I could see that it was my aunt holding a small bundle in a blanket. She had moisture trailing down her cheeks as she held a bundled Cailah out toward my dad. He stared at her, almost transfixed by her presence alone… she seemed to already have that effect on anyone around her.

“Oh, my grandbaby…” He whispered, reaching forward to meet my aunt halfway. She carefully guided my baby into his awaiting hands and I swore I could hear him whimper again as he snuggled her against his chest. She’d been successfully burped and her eyes were shut again as she drifted into another peaceful slumber. This was really a sight for sore eyes. This was my dad’s calling… he was meant to be a grandfather. He looked like he was right where he needed to be holding her right up against his chest, right against his heart… just as I’d done.

“Well hello there little one,” He cooed, quietly since she’d just shut her eyes, “Hi grandbaby… this is your paw paw.”

“I really ain’t sign up for all these tears today though.” I knew it was only a matter of time before we got some comedic relief and of course we had Tameka to thank for that. Indeed, her and the girls were all bundled up together beside Diana and Ms. Cynthia… each bright nosed and teary eyed as they watched the scene play out like a lifetime movie. Thankfully, she pulled a laugh out of each of us and I couldn’t have been more thankful. I was so tired of crying.

Tameka’s joke opened a door for everyone to relax and converse, which is what I needed more than anything. I didn’t want my child’s birth to lead to such a pity party, but it seemed like that’s all that’d been happening since I’d pushed her out.

“I’m so proud of you sissy,” Tawny was grinning wide as she crept up at my side, leaning over the rail to smooth my hair out of the way so she could press her lips against my forehead, “You’ve finally made me an aunt!”

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone as thrilled to be an Auntie as this girl.” Diana said. She stood at my dad’s side, ogling over the baby since he seemed to have a hard time passing her off to anyone else. I was quite alright with that though… this moment meant the world to him and who were we to take that away from him?

“You already know I’m proud of you bama. And you look good after giving birth and going into emergency surgery. God is good!” Destani said. I laughed at her silliness and reached up to hug her when she reached my side. Nalay trailed along behind her, hugged me quickly, then leaned back and stared at me for a moment.

“What… why are you looking like that?” I asked, laughter dying down and smile dropping from my face completely.

“You’re a whole mommy now!” She dipped down, yet again, and pulled me into another hug and I laughed into the crook of her neck. There was so much love in the room, it was almost too much to bear. And as if that wasn’t enough, there was yet another knock on the door. Diana called out that it was okay to enter, but I stayed occupied chatting with the girls as more commotion filed into the room. From the corner of my eye I could see an oversized balloon arrangement floating into the room first. It was decked out with a large pink foot that said “It’s a Girl!”, a few balloons shaped into pacifiers, and several small light pink and white balloons surrounding it. My brows creased with confusion, until I finally spotted Ms. Joyce’s bright beaming face on the back end of the balloons. How could I have missed her absence? She moseyed her happy self right over to my aunt, stopping briefly to greet her with a hug and to sit the balloons off in the corner.

It was what, or who, came rolling in behind her that had me at a loss for words… and breath. In came the boys, Dontay first, since he was clearly in charge of pushing the wheelchair. And in the chair sat Chris. His head was down, well propped against his right fist… his eyes were cast down. He looked completely nonchalant and almost like he didn’t realize he’d just been pushed, in a wheelchair, into this room full of people. What the hell happened to him?

The boys all trailed in behind him and Dontay, as boisterous as ever, but my eyes remained fixed on him. Something was extremely off.

“Congratulations sweetheart!” Ms. Joyce caught my attention for a moment when she rushed to my side and swept me into one of those hugs that only she could give. I smiled instinctively and enjoyed her aura for a moment, but with Chris lingering so close and knowing in the back of my mind that something wasn’t right with him, I couldn’t help but glance past her in his direction.

“He’s in an episode.” She whispered discreetly in my ear. She pulled back from me with a smile on her face that didn’t exactly match the reality of the situation… then I realized exactly what she was doing. She was acting as normal as possible. She didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to the issue, but… if he was having an episode, when and how did it happen?

“When did it happen?” I whispered to her, hoping that no one would catch on to our conversation.

“Just after the doctors rushed him and Maddie out of the delivery room. You were unresponsive and that set him off. I think it was the worst blackout I’ve ever seen.”

My eyes danced in his direction and I wondered what she meant by that. Did that mean he blacked out in front of people? If that was the case, how did he not get dragged out of this hospital and thrown into the back of a police car? The longer I stared at him, hoping that by some miracle he would at least raise his head and look at me, the more my heart broke… how on earth could he have an episode on the day our daughter was born? This was supposed to be one of the happiest days ever for us. We were supposed to be celebrating our creation and basking in all the love and happiness surrounding us. Yet, there he was… completely oblivious to anything happening around him.

“I sedated him before things got too bad, and just in time too… security showed up at the last minute and I was able to talk them out of escorting him out of the hospital and calling the police. Madison got him into a spare room up the hall and we let him rest there while you were in surgery.”  Ms. Joyce explained, again, in the calmest tone.

“How’s he doing Joyce?” My aunt asked. I hadn’t even realized she was standing right beside Ms. Joyce.

“He’s alright, for now. Thanks again for getting him that room Maddie… I don’t know what would have happened if we would have left him in that hall.”

“Oh that’s no problem at all. I just wonder how long until he comes to.”

Staring at him, I couldn’t help but wonder the same thing. There was no way I could get out of bed at this point to actually get close to him, to touch him… remind him that I was right here. But a sudden idea crossed my mind and my head swung around to face Destani who was currently holding Cailah and gushing over her with the girls and boys huddled all around her.

“Hey Destani.” I called.

She turned to face me with a bright red nose and red, puffy eyes… I smiled, it was amazing how many emotions that little girl managed to evoke in one day.

“Sy, I love her… I think I have severe baby fever!” She sniffled.

“Tuh, well we better go get you some medicine for that, ‘cause I know you don’t.” Ms. Cynthia called out from somewhere on the left side of the room.

I laughed and turned my attention back to Destani “Can you bring her here for a second?”

Hesitantly she turned away from the group and I smiled… that baby fever must have been hitting her awfully hard. I didn’t even recall her acting this way with her own little sister when she was born. Once she reached my bedside, she carefully shifted Cailah over into my hands and I thanked her, then turned to face Ms. Joyce.

“Mama… will you…” Her lips pursed together and she nodded quickly, silently understanding what I asked of her. She lifted her granddaughter from my hands and cuddled her for a moment, because this was indeed her first time holding her. Then suddenly the entire room filled with a thick layer of silence as she made her way toward the end of my bed. It was clear, in that moment, that everyone knew what was happening. No one moved a muscle or uttered a word. Ms. Joyce moved along deliberately to the wheelchair and it was suddenly like a captivating scene from a movie that had everyone on pins and needles, waiting with their next breath caught somewhere in their throat.

She approached him slowly, lowering the baby just enough to put her within his eyesight… and waited. He didn’t move immediately and my heart broke a little more… what if this didn’t work?

“Chris, that’s your daughter.” I blurted. I needed, desperately, for him to snap out of it. And if that meant forgetting about every single person standing around this room and only focusing on him and our daughter, so be it. If I had to crawl out of this bed and go to him myself, I would. But that wouldn’t be necessary, thank God… he lifted his head slowly and I could see his dim eyes zoning in on Cailah. He scanned over her tiny frame, almost as if familiarizing himself with her. Cautiously his mother moved the baby closer, eyeing him closely to gage his reaction. He didn’t move much, but he did lift his head away from his closed fist and his eyes stayed on her, unblinking. With her now pressed lightly against his chest, his hands finally reacted and he reached to pluck her out of his mom’s hold. Ms. Joyce lingered right in front of him, as a precaution of course, as he examined Cailah. He looked at her for a while as if she was a foreign object then he swiftly pulled her closer to his face, pressing his nose against the top of her covered head.

Then I heard it. His eyes were shut, he was completely still, and his head was bowed over the baby’s… he whimpered. He was crying. After a while, his shoulders trembled in sync with his tears and the boys all moved to stand around him protectively. Even my dad made his way over and he dropped a hand against Chris’s left shoulder.

From the corners of my eyes, it looked like just about every female in the room was on the verge of shedding tears, if not already crying. But my eyes stayed glued to Chris, because I was in awe just watching him. It was really quite a task to be such a huge supporting crutch for him… mentally and emotionally. But, the way I see it… aren’t you supposed to be a crutch for your loved one? Aren’t you supposed to uplift them, be their shoulder to lean on, love them through the good times and the bad, help them see right from wrong, pick them up when they are down, and do it all… unconditionally? What Chris and I had may have been unconventional in the eyes of some, we may have seemed much too young to be this in love and now, to bear a love child… but I wouldn’t change a single line of our imperfect love story for the world. See, this was our love… made for only him and I. And I was content being his happiness, because it was exactly what made me happy.

And now, to pass that ability on to my daughter… to witness first hand her very own ability to bring such peace to her father. It simply made me melt. She’d had him wrapped around her entire fist from the moment I told him I was pregnant. So to see her, finally in his grasp, lulling him back to normalcy… God, I was so tired of crying! Shaking my head discreetly, I sniffled and swiped at the undersides of my eyes.

Eventually he stood up from the chair, with the help of my dad, and made his way across the room directly to my bed. I stared up at him, falling head over heels for the sight of him cuddling his daughter lovingly to his chest. He finally raised his bright beaming eyes to face me and my heart fluttered when he smiled. His face was still saturated with tears, but he looked happy now… completely over the moon.

Our family and friends filed quietly out of the room and I barely even noticed because I was so wrapped up in a moment I’d been waiting for, for nine months now.

“Hi.” He muttered, quietly, with his lips barely grazing Cailah’s cheek.

“Hi.” I giggled bashfully.

He smirked and sniffled, because for some reason the tears continued to fall from his eyes “I thought I lost you, you know.”

“Chris, don’t…”

“I thought you gave up on us. I thought it was all over,” I thought I was done crying, I really did… and I honestly don’t even know how my body could continue to produce tears at this point, “I really thought I lost you.”

“But you didn’t Charlie. I’m here.”

“I know I blacked out, I know that… because I thought you were gone. I’m sorry I lost myself like that. I’m ashamed that that’s even a part of me… I can’t even be heartbroken like a normal person.” He chuckled bitterly and shook his head, but his tears were falling harder.

“Don’t say that… don’t apologize. Chris please, just… stop crying.”

“I thought you were dead Hope. I can never get that image out of my head… I really thought you were dead.” His calm and subtle tears were coming down even faster now and my heart started to race because he was whimpering too. I hated to see him this way.

Thankfully, he took a careful seat on the edge of the bed and his arms rocked Cailah soothingly “I love you, so damn much. I don’t think anyone will ever understand that… hell, I don’t even understand. But this is how it is, my love will never stop… and I never want it to. You are the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me and now…” He paused to hiccup through his tears, “You’ve given me something so beautiful… so perfect. I can never repay you for this Hope.”

“I’m gonna marry you one day, you know?” He said, turning his head briefly to glance at me, “And I promise when I do, I’m gonna make sure you never want or need for anything, ever. And I’m gonna make sure you feel every ounce of my love every minute, of every day.”

My eyes stayed on him as he professed his love for me, as if he had never done so before. Though I could barely see him through the blur of tears, I made sure to keep my mouth shut and I gave him all the time he needed to express exactly what was on his heart… and boy was it a lot.

“Thank you Hope. Thank you for loving me the way that you do. Thank you for accepting me the way that you do. Thank you for never giving up on me. And thank you… God, thank you for giving me this little girl.” I don’t think I’d ever seen him cry as hard as he was in this moment, and I honestly don’t think I’d ever cried as hard as I did as I watched him. But it needed to happen. My skin was covered with goosebumps from the surge of love circulating around the room. I couldn’t even form a single thought in my mind to say aloud to him. I felt totally consumed with him and my daughter… our daughter. My little family. I smiled as he continued to cry… thank God for my perfect little family.

[command-mentsff]

Thou Shalt not give into temptation./

-Nia 

Tears filled my eyes and threatened to spill over as Ms. Jacobs embraced me, smoothing a hand down my hair. As much as I wished and hoped to be out of this place, I couldn’t believe how emotional I was being now that the day had finally come. 

“You’ve made such great progress, Nia. We’re all proud of you,” Ms. Jacobs assured me as she released me. Her round, brown eyes were squinted with her smiling in pride, but I could see she was tearing up as well. 

“Thank you, Ms.J,” I replied, smiling back at her widely. “I definitely wouldn’t have pulled through without you.” She waved me away, and I let my eyes stray behind her to the large logo that was all over the building. I looked over to the common area, where a few girls were seated, eating snacks and pretending not to sneer at me. As if I cared. I made a solemn vow to myself that I would never step foot in this place again, and likewise not have to see those girls anymore. I planted one last kiss on Ms. Jacobs’ cheek, flipped my hair defiantly for the girls’ benefit and turned to go outside where I knew Dex would be waiting. He always hated coming to see me here, and I can only imagine the smile on his face that we weren’t pressed for time, I didn’t have to be back in an institution at a certain time, we were finally free. 

I was halfway across the lobby, my hand already reaching for the door, when a soft touch stopped me. My breath caught. He wasn’t supposed to be here today. I turned around quickly, eyes wide. He gave me a tiny smile. 

“Dr. Edwards,” I said quietly. 

“Nia,” he replied. He read the unspoken question in my eyes. “I decided to come in today, to check on a few things. I figured I should say good-bye to you since I’m here.” 

I looked around, always paranoid, although nothing has ever actually happened between us. I just felt the tension and chemistry between us so strongly, I couldn’t fathom how anyone else was unable to sense it. 

My eyes fell on his hand still grasping my arm, and he dropped it quickly, clearing his throat. 

“Well. Goodbye,” he stated firmly, the softness erased from his voice. 

I was really hoping he wouldn't be here today, and he knows that. I’m not, and probably will never be able to be, ready to say goodbye to him. As much as I hate this place, seeing him and simply being around him every day made it so much more bearable. 

I finally found my voice and smiled weakly up at him. “Thank you for everything, Dr. Edwards. It’s going to be...difficult. Being away from.... the hospital. After. You know. All you guys’ help.” I bit my lip, frustrated at my lack of communication. “I will miss you-uh, our sessions. The therapy. Counseling. It really helped.” 

He ran a finger over his lips, clearly amused at my fumbling. “Do you have everything you need? All your appointments set up?”

“Yeah,” I hooked a finger over my shoulder, “Julia scheduled everything. I’m all set.” 

He nodded, and stepped a bit closer to me. “I’ll miss you, too,” he said softly. My heart rate picked up, and I found myself biting my lip again. “Be safe, and call me if you need me. I mean it.” 

I looped my arms around his neck impulsively, and he squeezed me back. I pushed up on my tiptoes, planting my nose in his neck where I knew the smell of heaven would be. A hug from him was so few and far between, I always tried to take advantage when one happened. I just felt so safe with him, safe from everything, including myself. I felt guilty that I couldn’t say the same about my embraces with Dex, but things with him were just different. It’s probably a good thing I’m being discharged; we’ve already used enough restraint thus far. I caught Ms. Jacobs glancing in our direction and reluctantly pulled back. 

“I gotta go,” I said. 

“I know.”

I smiled once more, and he attempted to smile back, but his eyes were so sad. “Bye Nia.” 

I waved and turned, stepping outside, into freedom and possibility and Dex and away from the schedules and routines and predictableness and love and missed chances and Carter. 

I’m thinking RD for Nia 

CB for Carter 

and idk who else yet but I’ll put a character list up soon-ish...

[heavensentfanfic]

Chapter 23 - Family Reunion [COMPLETE]

Jaclyn (face change)

Chris thought it’d be a good idea to invite me to dinner before my flight back to LA tonight. He said it’d be “good for me to see them together” and maybe I can be “genuinely happy for them” — some bullshit like that. He knows I’m bad at playing nice.

My pink off-the-shoulders dress blew in the warm wind as I waited for someone to open the door. I prayed it’d be Chris, but of course…

“Hey!” She answered so cheerfully. Fuck! She’s even prettier in person. “Chris is upstairs doing...I have no idea...” She probably didn’t know about my little act with Chris a few days ago. If she did, there’s no way I’d be inside of her house right now. Unless she was planning to kill me where I seduced him.

I was greeted with comforting smells that I haven’t sensed in a long time. Fried chicken, greens, cornbread, and monkey bread baking in the oven. My heart wanted to burst from my chest. Could she get anymore perfect? “Would you like something to drink? Water? Long Island? Pink moscato?”

“Long island will do just fine,” I smiled. I needed something strong that would hit me quick in order to get over the fact that I actually love Chris’ girlfriend. She’s making it impossible for me to dislike her in the slightest.

I took a seat at the bar in a swivel bar stool and swallowed about a quarter of my drink. I also swallowed my pride and decided to start conversation. “How’d you and Chris meet?”

“Through some friends whom will be joining us later...” she washed dishes as she continued her story, “We all went out to a club together — my first night here — and he and I just hit it off.” A shrug.

“Hm...” I smiled a bit. “He’s always been the type to be so...nice.” I took a sip of my drink and the doorbell rang.

“Chris!” Nohea yelled. Her accent is beautiful too. “Ty and Ari are here!”

Wait a minute. Did she just say...?

I swiveled the chair so it’d face the front door.

“Heeey!” Her voice rang in my ear and brought back the worst memories in high school. The couple, and Nohea, met me at the bar stool.

“Jaclyn, this is Ty and —“

“Ariana Taylor.” I faked a smile, but she, however, did not. Her face was as annoyed and stale as it could possibly get. “We’ve crossed paths before. Nice to see you again.”

“Mm...” was all that left Ariana’s mouth. She walked around me and sat at he nicely set dining table.

“Okay then.” Nohea let out an awkward laugh and I chugged the rest of my drink. “I’m gonna get Chris. You two just...catch up.”

Fuck catching up. I need another drink

Nohea

Dinner was more awkward than I initially expected it to be, but less awkward that I thought after Ari and Jaclyn’s re-introduction. I still had no idea what that was about, but as long as everyone was enjoying the food, I was okay.

Ariana

I can’t believe this bitch wanted to play nice with me. I was so glad that I would never see her again after graduation. But boom -- here this hoe go. I’ve had to put up . with her bullying and bullshit for seven painful emotional years. She made my life a living hell for my brother and I. My whole fucking family. Chris knows it too, so I don’t get why he still hangs around the bitch. 

“You good, Ari?” Nohea asked. I nodded slow, staring at Jaclyn as she engaged in conversation with Tyler. That made my blood boil. How dare you talk to a bitch that you know I hate? And how dare you talk to my nigga when you know I hate yo’ ass?

She can keep it up if she wants to. This time, it’ll be her blood shed on the damn ground instead of my brother’s.

Chris

Dinner was over and Jaclyn was about to go to the airport. She’d said her goodbyes to everyone, except Ariana, so I was outside walking her to her car. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” I asked. She leaned her back against the car as I stood in front of her.

“Other than that one little thing in there, yes I did.” She laughed.

“Aye, chill out. You konw Ari is like a sister to me. Y’all both are. Y’all gotta talk about what happened and fix that shit. Fast.” 

She rolled her eyes, “okay, dad. I hat to admit, but I love your girlfriend.

“Oh really?” I smirked. “What about her?” 

“Everything!” She fake cried. She told me how much she loved her cooking, how she decorated the house, how she treats me, and how beautiful she is.

“Thank you, Jay. That means a lot. I told you you’d love her. No matter how much you didn’t wanna believe it.”

“Yeah yeah.” Jaclyn rolled her eyes. “I gotta get goin’. I’ll see you in a few days?”

“Of course.” I gave her a hug, wrapped him around her neck and kissed her head. “Call me when you get back.”

“Okay, Simba. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Nohea

Ari and Ty left a little after Jaclyn did. I tried to talk to Aria bout Jaclyn while Chris was outside, but she wasn’t going for it. I decided to ask Chris about their history once he got out of the shower.

“Babe, I have a question.”

“Wassup?” He slid on some basketball shorts and laid next to me.

“What’s going on between Arianna and Jaclyn?”

“Ah...” he scratched the back of his next, “...just some drama from high school they never got over. Nothin’ major.”

“Hmm, okay.” I pushed the thought of the pair actually having problems to the back of my head and cuddled under Chris. I was ready to beat Jaclyn’s ass once I saw how she looked at Ari. My girl always knows how to spot a fake bitch way before I do. But, out of respect for Chris (and his name being on the deed of the house), I let her stay.

“What you got goin’ on this week?” Chris asked while playing in my hair.

“Meeting on Friday at two and a lounge appearance Saturday night. Why?”

“We ain’t been on a date in a minute.” I immediately looked up at Chris. I was grinning hard as hell while he was trying to his his smirk. 

“Where we goin’?” I asked. He shrugged his shoulders. “Tell meee!” I quickly sat up and straddled his waist. 

“You gotta wait.” He laughed.

“Gimme a hint,” I pouted. 

“Aight, uh...you’ve never been there before.”

“That doesn’t help at all, Christopher!” 

“You’re beautiful. I love your accent.” He said, trying to change the subject.

“That’s not gonna work. Give me another --” He sat up and kissed me slowly, tightening the grip his palms had on my ass. “Chris...” I moaned.

“Hm?” His lips moved from mine to my neck.

“I hate you.” I bit my lip and let out a light moan.

“Mm...I know.”

Then I shut my ass up and let Chris have his way with me. 

Tyler

Ariana was quiet as hell on the way home. She wasn’t even tlaking when we got back to the loft.

“Baby, talk to me.” I said to her. She stayed quiet and continued to walk into our bedroom. “Taylor!” I yelled.

“What?” She spat. “What the fuck do you want? You already know why I’m mad, so don’t fucking as me no dumb shit, Jones.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” I exclaimed. I grabbed her arm and turned her around so she was facing me. “Yes, I know why you’re mad. I also know that we should talk about it instead of you actin’ like a damn child.” I let go of her arm and sat her on the bed.

“You were being nice to every-damn-body tonight and now you wanna be mean to me?” She yelled. I took a deep breath before I said something I’d regret. 

“What are you talking about, Arianna?”

“You were havin’ a whole conversation wit’ the bitch at dinner and you wanna act like shit is okay!”

“Ariana can you think for a minute? Nohea don’t know shit ‘bout Jaclyn. If I wouldn’t have talked to her, then all the business woulda been out and it woulda’ been hell for everybody. You know that.”

“Ty, I don’t give a damn. At all! You know everything that went down -- you were there. You should feel the same way I do about her lying ass.”

“Ari, you just being bitter. That shit happened two years ago.”

“I’m being bitter? Are you serious? She almost ruined my while family. Don’t tell me I should forgive and forget. It’s fuck her forever -- I promise you that.”

The Next Day - Ariana

I woke up with some bad nerves. So bad, my hands started sweating. I needed to tell Nohea about everything that happened between Jaclyn, my family, and I. 

I showed up to Nohea’s Cascade Falls crib, unannounced, at 9 AM. Early, I know. I rang the doorbell over and over until I heard the door unlock. Thankfully, it was my pretty ass friend and not her tall ass boyfriend.

“Ari? W...” she yawned “...what are you doing here? It’s 9 AM.”

“I know. We need to talk.” I let myself in and immediately walked down to the studio. Nohea hesitated at first, but she eventually followed me.

“What’s going on?” she asked once she was finally seated in her chair. There was another seat, but I couldn't bring myself to sit down. I was so anxious.

"Jaclyn isn't the sweet girl she was last night. She's a bully and a fucking liar!" I blurted.

"Ari, where is this coming from?"

"Jaclyn and I went to middle school together. She was popular and she would always bully me. My brother was a sophomore at Mays so he couldn't protect me." My heart raced thinking about what I had gone through with her. "One day, I decided to fight back. I beat her ass but she was so embarrassed; she decided to hate me forever."

"What? She doesn't like you because of a fight in middle school?" Nohea asked. She sounded confused and acted like I was wasting her time.

"Let me finish..." I took a deep breath and continued, "It was 2013, senior year, two weeks before graduation. Everyone from our side of the city went to this party near the AUC..."

*2013 - Graduation Party - Ariana*

This house was way too packed. Niggas from Westlake, Mays, and every other school in the SWATS pulled up. Everybody was either drunk or high, so I'll let someone else do the math. Westside niggas with alcohol don't mix very well. I was outside, being patient, waiting for shit to go down. It was almost 1 AM when I head commotion coming from the front yard.

"Aye, T..." I said to my friend, "...let's go." We got up from the couch and followed everyone toward the house. The closer I got, the more I could hear my brother's voice. Him and Tremaine must be ready to fight some nigga from the Southside...again. "D!" I yelled, pushing through the crowd. "Dez what the fuck y'all get into now?"

"Ari not right now." D said to me. I looked passed Dez and Tre to find the dude they were arguing with. Of course, it's this hoe Jaclyn's boyfriend, Isaiah. 

"Why the hell are y'all always getting into some bullshit? Especially with this nigga!" I yelled. Of course, Dez and Tre ignored me. "Come on, T." I rolled my eyes and started walking down the street to my car. I was so tired of Dez and his antics, he never knew when to let shit go.

About 30 seconds later, the gun shots rang out. There were four. My thoughts went straight to my brother. I couldn't think about anything else. "Dez!" I screamed. I turned around and started hauling ass toward him. Everything moved so slow. My heartbeat. My breathing. Everything.

"Ariana!" I heard T yell from behind me. "No!" She grabbed my arm and started running with me toward my car. At this point, I was furious. Didn't even know if my brother was dead or alive...

*Present Day - Ariana*

"So where does Jaclyn come into all this?" Nohea asked.

"After the shots went off, everyone ran. Even her. The next day, she found out that her boyfriend was the one that got shot. He died at Grady an hour later. Everyone that was there knew who shot Isaiah, except Jaclyn and I. But of course, no one wanted to speak up. So, Jaclyn thought it'd be cute to be the only witness even though she didn't see shit. She accused my brother of being her boyfriend's murderer."

"Ari...wow..." Nohea pulled me into her arms and hugged me. It was the best thing I could get in that moment.

"My brother spent one and a half years in Fulton County Jail before they saw that he was innocent. She almost ruined my family. This shit has been bothering me for so long. I  haven't seen her since the vigil we had for him at Westlake. And then she shows up here playing nice?"

"I had no idea, Ari. If Chris had been honest with me, I would've never agreed to her coming."

"Don't be too hard on him when you kill him." *Chris*

I got back from the gym with Ty around two o'clock. A nigga felt  tired, hungry, and so ready to lay up with my girl. And take a bomb ass nap. "Babygirl! I'm home!" I yelled. Walking up to the room, I could tell that the vibe was a little off. Usually, Nohea would open the door and greet me with her gorgeous ass smile, but she didn't do that.

As soon as I opened the door, I knew I was in trouble.

"Chris, please sit down." Nohea said.

"Damn. No kiss? No hello?" I let out a sigh and sat at the foot of the bed. Standing in from of me, she looked so good in her crop top and Nike sweats. I wanted to eat her up right there, the fact that she was mad at me made it even worse. 

"Ari told me everything about her and Jaclyn." I sighed, rolled my eyes, and put my head in my hands. "My best friend, Chris..."

"My best friend, Nohea..."

"Oh bullshit. I've never even heard you speak of her until you wanted to invite her over. Ari'a brother almost got life because of her! And you stood by her the whole time?"

"I'm saying I don't have to be loyal to Ariana. I only have to be loyal to you and Jay. That's it."

"Chris, being loyal to me means being loyal to my friends and the relationships I have with them. You knew Jaclyn was wrong and you lied to me about knowing!"

"So can you do the same for me? Can you respect my relationship with Jaclyn? And don't you dare bring up shit about lying," I demanded.

"Chris..." she sighed, "...you don't care, so fuck it." Nohea waked to the closet and grabbed her purse and keys.

"What, Okalani? What do you wanna talk about? I'm sorry I lied to you, but Jaclyn has been there for me since day one."

"You need to think about how you treat people, Chris. You're so selfish. As long as it benefits you and the people you fuck with it, it's okay. But if it has something to do with your fucking girlfriend and the people I love, you don't give a fuck. I'm starting not to give a fuck about you." With that, she walked out of our room and downstairs. I heard the front door open, close, and her car start in the driveway.

"God damn, bruh..." I said to myself. To destress, I took a shower and played 6lack's newest album throughout the room. After my shower, I decided to lay down and take a nap. As soon as my touched the pillow, Jaclyn called me. I took a deep breath and answered. "Wassup?"

"Nothing, " she said. "I kinda wanted to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm tired."

"That's it? You sound like you going through something."

"Nah. Lemme call you later." I hung up without letting her say another word.

 I need to do some self-reflection after this nap.

[chrisbrowntreysongzimagines-blog]

Me (Part 6)

"Oh fuck babe...shit whatchu doin with your mouth man?" I closed my eyes and found my rhythm on his dick. I could feel him grabbing on the sheets, trying to keep control while I gave him head, but I could also feel him losing control as his hips rose to meet my mouth as best as he could (I couldn't fit it all in my mouth).

I sucked really hard on his head. He groaned and I felt his hand leave the sheet and make it to my hair. He pulled on the scrunchies that held it in a bun, and before long, I felt my natural hair surrounding my face, damp with sweat. He gathered the hair from my face and gripped it, guiding my mouth along his shaft. I tasted the saltiness of his pre cum. I knew he was close. I started sucking harder and faster, gripping his base tightly in my hand, loving the feel of him pulsing in my mouth, loving the control I had right now over my boss.  Moments later he yanked my head from his dick as he released his load all over the sheets.

"No fair!" I started to whine, but I didn't get to finish. In my disappointment he saw a window to regain control. In seconds his lips were crashed into mine, roughly biting and bruising as his tongue made its way into my mouth. I melted under his touch. He pushed me gently onto my back, pulling down my now soaked lace underwear with his teeth. I bit my lip as he threw them somewhere in the room. He paused only to ditch his pants and underwear, then I felt him hovering over me on his arms.

Oh Lord what the fuck did I do? I knew he didn't take my torture lightly, and was more than willing to return the favor. He stared at my lip with an odd fascination.

"Everytime you bite that lip I wanna fuck you to pieces. Did you know that?"

His voice was low and dangerous. It sent chills down my spine. I didn't know how else to reply, except to call his name. "Chris..." I moaned.

"Fuck Simone. Don't do that."

I was so drunk off of him, I had no idea what I was doing to him. "What did I do?" I moaned.

He didn't answer. Instead I felt his teeth on my thighs, biting and kissing as he made his way to my dripping pussy. I felt like I was about to cry. Then in true torturous fashion, he spread my legs fully apart, and blew on it. I felt my body clench fully anticipating his dick to follow shortly. It didn't. His tongue flicked against my clit and I went crazy.

I grabbed my breasts and moaned as he ate me out. Completely. No mercy whatsoever. He held my hips down and sucked on my clit as if he was milking me for all I was worth. There was no rhythm to his mouth. One moment he sucking hard on me, the next he was lapping like a starved man cleaning off a dinner plate. He refused to let me catch up to him, as soon as I started to meet his movements, he switched his pace and method. Tears fell when I came in his mouth, calling his name as if I would've lost him if I didn't. He sucked on my clit a few more moments after I stopped jerking in unconscious bliss.

He hovered over me again, this time his elbows on both sides of my head. His face was inches away from mine. I moaned for him and he smirked.

[injusticeff]

Prologue

Simone

I sat there sulking in silence in a pool of my own blood. I could barely feel my body but I already knew I was shaking. Everything I looked at was red. It was all I saw.

“Get up and go wash yourself off.”

I heard him speak but the words came out so faint, I could barely make out what he had said. So I just sat there; not moving a muscle until I jumped due to glass being shattered inches away from me. I looked up, realizing that he had thrown one of our many picture frames at me. The picture of us on our first date. It was my favorite. “Did you hear what the fuck I said? Get up and go wash yourself off. Now.” He repeated sternly, this time earning a reaction from me.

Weakly standing to my feet, I pressed my hand up against the wall for support and began to limp my way in the direction of the bedroom. I heard things being shuffled around behind me, probably him starting to clean up the mess we made.

Once I reached the room, I headed straight for the shower. If I touched anything, I’d get blood all over it.

I started up the shower, turning the water lukewarm so it wouldn’t hurt any of the fresh wounds I acquired. Slowly stripping out of my clothes, I looked at my nude appearance in the mirror before quickly looking away and stepping into the tub. The water immediately flushed with a tint of red as my skin started to regain some of it’s original color back.

Stepping directly under the shower head, I began to rinse the blood from my face and hair, being careful not to press too hard on the bruises.

I started to weep silently again, letting my tears fall with the water. Every inch of me ached but the worst part about it is that I’m used to that feeling now. That aching feeling is like second nature to me.

Hearing the curtain being pulled back and someone stepping in behind me, I swiftly wiped my eyes and started to wash myself. His arms wrapped around my torso which caused me to slightly jump before stepping back so that there was no space between our bodies anymore.

“I love you, Sim. You know that right?” Psh, as if.

I nodded my head in response, tensing up a bit as he planted kisses on my neck. He held onto me tighter. “I'on know what I’d do if I lost you baby.” My mind was racing but my mouth stayed silent as he continued to trail kisses along my bruised skin. “I’m gonna stop hurtin’ you, I swear.” He said, earning another nod from me.

His arms laid comfortably around my naked body as light snores escaped his lips every once in a while. My body was tired but my eyes wouldn’t stay shut for the life of me. I wanted to go to sleep so bad. Reaching over on the nightstand, I grabbed my phone and clicked it on. 

4:22AM.

I sighed lowly before gasping for air once I felt broad hands grip my neck. “Fuck is you doing on yo phone at four in the mornin’, huh?” He clenched his teeth harder with every word he spoke. Clawing at his hand, I felt a tear slip down my cheek as his grip began to get tighter once I didn’t answer him.

“I-- I was checking the time.”

He let go of my neck causing me to gasp, coughing loudly as he snatched my phone out of my hand.

Snaking his arm back around my waist, he pulled me on top of him and began to caress my cheek before cupping it in his hand and pressing his lips against mine multiple times. I know how mad he gets when I don’t kiss him back so I lightly did the same.

“You can’t sleep??” He questioned with a raised eyebrows causing me to shake my head no. “Come on.” Tapping my butt so that I knew to get up, he sat up and intertwined our fingers before guiding me off of the bed and into the kitchen.

He started to look around for something, I didn’t know what it was but I felt myself start to get anxious as my nervousness got the best of me. Finally, he pulled out a pot and filled it with tap water before placing it onto the stove and setting it on high. He also grabbed a couple of chamomile tea packets, opening them up and setting the bags into a mug. Once the water came to a boil, I watched as he poured it into the mug along with some honey and began to stir it.

Handing me the cup once he was done, I halfway smiled as I took it from him. “That should help a lil.” He said as I started to blow on it to cool it down.

“Thank you.”

“You hungry or anything? We should have some spaghetti still in the fridge.” I shook my head before taking a sip from my cup, feeling myself instantly get warm inside. “No, this is perfect. Thank you.” Nodding his head in response, I watched as he eyed over my nude body causing me to do the same to his.

If sex was on his mind, I couldn’t take anymore of it. He already did one quickie in the shower and then two more rounds when we got out the shower. Ya girl was tired, my pussy couldn’t take anymore.

He’s not a minute man at all, each round usually lasts about an hour and there’s no kind of down time in between. As much as I hate it, I cum every single time. He knows all the right things to do to me since we’ve been together for so long. We’ve explored every inch of each other.

“Can I come with you to pick up Junior from daycare tomorrow?” I asked, praying that he said yes. I missed my baby so much. I can’t stand being away from him for a minute and it’s been a whole week since I’ve seen him. 

He slightly shrugged and before he could think of any reason to say no, I began to beg. “Dom, please. I haven’t seen him in a week, I miss him.” He sighed in response because he knew it was true. He hadn’t let me near him all week because he doesn’t want Junior to see me like this. I don’t either to be honest but I just want to hold him. Even if it’s for a second.

“Fine but we gon’ have to buy you something to cover all that shit up.” He circled my face with his finger.

A smile immediately formed on my face as I began to get excited. “I have makeup, don’t worry. He won’t notice a thing!” I assured him before downing the rest of my tea and placing the mug into the sink.

Yawning, I started to head back to the bedroom with Dominick following close behind me and plopped down onto the bed. I wanted to go to sleep so I could be that much closer to seeing my baby. I didn’t even mind that Dom was up under me right about now, my son was the only thing keeping me sane nowadays.

I smiled again, thinking about his sweet innocent little face as my eyes slowly fluttered shut.

Xae

“Girl, that’s not how you make no damn chicken. You bread that bitch up and fry it. Using all these extra seasonings and shit.” I chuckled out causing her to laugh along with me and shake her head.

“Cállate nena and just try it.” She knew what that spanish shit did to me and my dick. I might not know what she saying but she sound sexy saying it, that’s all that matters. Cutting a piece of the chicken, she held it up to my mouth for me to eat. I looked down at it then back up at her with a slight frown causing her to nudge me. “Fine but you lucky I love yo ass.” 

Biting into the chicken, I slowly started to nod because it was actually pretty good. Hella good really, just spicy as hell. 

“Well?” She looked at me with a gleam in her eye that resembled a little kid waiting to get candy on halloween.

I chuckled and pecked her forehead. “It’s good lil mama. Yo taste buds gonna be on fire though.”

“Aw, the baby can’t handle a lil spice?” She teased, making faces at me causing me to wave her off. “Girl please, I’m a savage. I can handle anything.”

She raised her eyebrow before inching closer to me and snaking one of her arms around my neck. “Oh really? Anything?” She questioned, grabbing my hand and guiding it down to her ass. “Even this?”

“You know better than anyone how I handle that.” Smirking, I gripped it in my hands and planted a rough wet kiss on her lips, sucking on it gently as I pulled away. “I should be asking you the same thing.” I added before placing her hand on my now hardened member causing her to bite her lip.

“Mm, I don’t recall papi. Why don’t we find out how I handle it.” She replied, slowly starting to massage my dick as we continued to kiss on each other’s lips.

As if on cue, my phone started to ring loudly causing us both to sigh as we pulled away from each other. Checking the caller ID, I saw it was my assistant causing me to hesitate a bit before shutting off my phone.

“You gonna get that?”

“Hell nah, where were we?” Grabbing her thighs, I wrapped both her legs around my torso causing her to gasp as she let out a few giggles before I sat her down on the counter and pushed her panties and the shorts she was wearing to the side.

My phone started to buzz off the hook once I turned it back on. I hadn’t even realized we been at it for two hours. Bree was sleeping peacefully on my chest when she was supposed to be watching this sap ass movie that she put on for us to watch.

Not even fifteen minutes in and she already knocked out cold. We both know she was the one that couldn’t handle it.

“Damn, now I remember why I turned this shit off.” I said, shaking my head as I checked some of my missed calls and messages. It was nothing really important. My assistant was trying to get in touch with me for this meeting I was supposed to go to today but I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to people right now. I’m perfectly fine with where I’m at right now.

Tightening my grip around her waist, she shuffled a bit in her sleep and got comfortable again before I started to hear her light snores again.

I was bored and couldn’t sleep so I decided to go out to the patio to smoke. It took a while to get out of bed because every time I tried to move away, Bree would pull me back to her with her spoiled ass. She act like I’m a teddy bear or something.

Throwing on some sweats and a hoodie, I slipped on my slides and grabbed the essentials to roll this blunt. I haven’t smoked regular cigarillos in a minute. I’m more of a backwood or game leaf type of guy. They get me on a different type of high.

Once I got outside and felt that breeze, I was glad that I put on a hoodie because a nigga would have been freezing. I sat down at the table and began to break down and stuff the blunt with 2.5 grams.

Just as I was about to spark up, I heard the sliding glass door behind me open causing me to look back at a yawning Bree who was now rubbing her eyes, still butt naked from earlier.

“What’s wrong baby?” She asked, coming to sit down on my lap.

I shrugged. “Nothing, just couldn’t seem to sleep for some reason. I’m feeling a lil uneasy and I can’t really explain why so I figured smoking would help... you tryna hit it?”

She immediately smirked and grabbed the blunt from my hand, sparking it up and taking the first puff from it.

“Aye now, nobody told you to take my blunt. Don’t you know it’s bad luck for you to light a blunt someone else rolled?” I said, snatching back the blunt from her playfully causing her to kiss her teeth.

Cheesing, I took a pull from the blunt and blew it in her face. “I’m gonna beat your ass Xavier. Ten cuidado.” 

“You know I’m gonna be horny after this right? Me being high and you being naked speaking spanish to me isn’t a good combination.” She chuckled at my comment as she watched me take another hit, grabbing the blunt once I passed it to her.

Once the blunt was finished, we were both high out our minds. Bree could barely keep her eyes open and was stumbling everywhere. I was about hungry as hell and ready to eat anything in sight. Looking down at her as her head rested on my chest, I smirked. Bingo.

I picked her up and laid her on top of the table, kneeling down between her legs.

“Ah, shit Xae! That’s cold-- oh my god!” She moaned out, gripping my curls as my tongue began to twist and swirl against her clit.

Daddy was eating good tonight.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 218

Next Morning

Chris

Lane cuts his eyes at me. "Shut up, Chris."

"Lane I'm not even talking. Leave me alone, nigga."

"I say shut up." He snaps. "Go to beach, Uncle Chris."

I stand up. This boy isn't going to shut up until we at the beach. I call my baby mama again to see where she was. I really didn't want her knowing where I would be for the next few days. I text her the address anyway. She can meet me and Lane at the beach house. It's a really nice big beach house. I think it sleeps like 20 people or so.

"Ma?" I say walking through the house.

"Her right there!" Lane yells from behind me. "Ma Joy."

I hear her chuckle then she says. "Lane what do you want?"

"Chris." Lane points at me. "You baby, Chris."

"My baby is Chris?" She asks as I walk in the room. "He is so smart. What, Chris?"

"You pack his bag?"

She takes a bag out the trash can. "I did not. You know how to pack a bag Chris."

"I'll call Cammie." I say taking out my phone.

"What?" She snaps.

I walk into Lane's room. "So what do I pack for the beach?"

"Chris you called me to ask me..."

"For Lane, man." I interrupt her bitching.

She sucks her teeth. "He has a bag already packed. I never unpacked it."

"No, Uncle Chris." Lane says pushing me out his closet. "I do it."

"Lane said he gonna pack his own bag."

"You playing but he will." Cammie says. "Anything else Chris?"

"Sorry." I say.

She sucks her teeth again. "No? Okay."

I sigh. "Alright Cammie."

She hangs up the phone. That shit got me in my feelings, man. Rarely does Cammie actually be mad at me. I mean she always mad enough to fuss but never mad enough to go off on my ass then not speak to me. Cursing me out usually fixes things. I watch Lane in the closet as he climb up on the shelves looking for clothes. Like the kid actually was taking his time looking at each shirt to see if he likes it. He is too much. It looks like Cammie designed the closet so that he could pick out his own clothes.

"Okay, Lane. That's enough shirts. Get some shorts." I say pointing.

"Okay okay." Lane says going to the other side.

Someone touches my back. "Good morning."

"Hi, Nanma!" Lane yells climbing down.

"Hey, big boy." She says picking him up.

I kiss her cheek. "Good morning."

"Where are you going?" April asks looking at the clothes.

"The beach." Lane yells. "And Royal too."

April kisses him. "Royalty? Who is Royalty?"

Lane frowns like he didn't fucking know. "Uncle Chris know her."

"Uncle Chris daughter?" April asks. Lane nods his head.

Oh I though he said I know her. I chuckle. This kid is like no other. He must have been frowning at April because she should have known who Royalty was. April turns to the closet then start helping Lane reach his clothes to pick them out. I turn around to the door. I thought I heard some yelling. I step out into the hall.

"Daddy!" Royalty yells.

I smile then go to the front of the house. Royalty is running out of the kitchen full speed. I hold up my arms.

"What are you doing? How you get here?" I say picking her up as she reaches me.

"In the car."

I shake my head. Not literally how. "In the car?"

"Thank you." Amber says closing the front door. "Package!"

"What are you doing woman?" I ask walking to Amber.

She walks towards the kitchen. "I just took the package from the UPS guy. I'm walking."

"Don't be literal as well."

"April!" Amber snaps sitting the package down. She cuts it open.

I look at the name. "That's not even yours."

Royalty stops hugging me and wiggles to get down. "This Lane's house?"

"Yes." I say putting her down.

"Lane, here?" She asks running away without an answer. "Lane!"

I look behind me. "Me and Trey always joked around about having kids at the same time. Like... aye this is weird."

"Chris." Amber says digging in the box. "A new breast pump? Cammie so lame."

"Amber." April says walking into the kitchen and looking into the box. "Good she listened to me and got a new pump. Why does it look like this?"

"Cause she boogie." Amber laughs walking out.

I follow behind her. "How the hell did you get Royalty man?"

Amber falls on the bed. "Just so happened to run into them. Royalty came up to me yelling..."

"Daddy!" Royalty yells from the hallway.

"Go in there, girl." Lane says.

I turn around. Lane pushes Royalty into the room by her butt. She stumbles into the room then runs over to me. He can't be abusing my daughter like that. She comes over to me. Well we not going to get much done if she don't leave me. Lane comes into the room carrying two juice boxes. He holds it up in the air.

"Royal." He says. "Here you box."

"Thank you." She says reaching like she could get it.

I put her down. "So you ran into them where?"

"Beauty store." Amber says yawning. "Did you and Cammie make up yet? This is exhausting."

"What is exhausting about me and her? What does it have to do with you?"

"Lane." Amber snaps. "Where is my water man?"

Lane makes his eyes big. "What you think?"

"Lane please." Amber says.

"Okay, fine... Am...ber."

She sits up in the bed. Lane walks out of the room followed by Royalty. I doubt he gonna actually come back with the water. Amber giggles then lies back on the bed. I lean over the bed getting in her face. She smiles then sighs.

"Get out my face and fix your relationship."

"Trey in the way." I shrug.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh please."

Lane runs into the room. He puts a water bottle on the bed. "Wait, Nanma!"

"Thank you, Lane." Amber rolls over.

He is too busy to reply. I stand up to find out what he is doing. April is in the living room standing at the TV. She instructs Lane to sit down so the movie can start. They had chips and cookies sitting on the table in front of some little chairs. Royalty hits Lane's seat telling him to sit by her like there's somewhere else to sit. I smile. I think that will soften things up with me and Cammie. I take a picture of them then send it to her saying that it's us in reverse. A little me and a little her. I wish she just curses me out again then forgive me. Make it simple. Hell I still don't know what was going on with Trey.

 Cammie

I couldn't sleep thinking about my baby. I've been up all morning trying not to bother Joyce about Caden. It's just so hard not to. I did call her at 3 in the morning because Caden wakes up at 7 on the East coast. Sure enough she was woke with him. He went back to sleep after only an hour of fussing. He should be waking up about now and staying woke. I gasp looking at my phone. It's April.

"Hello."

"Cammie?" She snaps. "Did your ass get any sleep?"

I sigh. "No."

She sighs as well. "Lane go get your brother's milk. No. Bring it back here, Lane."

"Okay, Nanma." I hear him yell.

"Chris needs to go ahead and take them to the beach. Chris?"

Chris comes close. "This a good bottle, Ma?"

"Yes." April snaps.

"Okay, we about to go. You sure you not gonna come?" Chris says a bit hopeful.

April chuckles. "That's why you still here? No Chris. I'm feeding my angel then going to sleep."

"But you can't go to sleep on him." Chris whines.

"His aunt is here. Go on out my face."

It gets quiet. April chuckles to herself. The phone hangs up then it rings again. I answer the video call. Caden was holding the bottle to his mouth. He starts slapping the bottle with the other hand.

"Is he mad at the new bottle?" I giggle. "Oh my gosh. I'm about to find a flight home."

April turns the camera to her. "Don't you come here without first addressing the reason you there. I don't remember getting a phone call about the conversation."

"He is acting normal." I shrug.

"Cammie." She frowns.

I sigh. "Okay, April."

"Disrespectful." April says as if she talking to a baby. "Yes she is Caden."

"Bye." I say about to hang up til I thought about my mama. "Why is my mama suddenly coming to Cali talking about some spending time with me?"

"Isn't that what you want, Baby?"

I suck my teeth.  "Why is she doing it? To compete with you?"

"She shouldn't have to. I'm just your mother in law." She says suggestively.

"Okay, then."

She chuckles. "Call me... no you call Porsha."

"Okay." I say hanging up.

I sigh looking around the kitchen. I had cooked breakfast for Trey. I don't think he went to sleep at all last night. He is annoying like that. Just sat there on his phone. All night. I make him some breakfast then take it into the room where he was now on the computer. He smiles at the computer then puts it to the side. Oh maybe he was smiling at me.

"Morning." He says low.

"Tremaine." I snap sitting the tray down. "Is that the loudest you can talk?"

He nods his head. "Unfortunately."

I suck my teeth. "You should have been resting instead of being up all night."

He nods his head then reaches for the plate of food. I stand there watching him with my hands on my hips. He really does piss me off. He eats some of the food then he reaches towards me suddenly smacking my arm down from my hip. I frown. He pushes the laptop towards me. I roll my eyes. He pushes it more then he raises his eyebrows. I grab it. I smile. There was a big picture of our wedding. I press the play button on the PowerPoint. It starts talking.

"I know that my apologies are starting to sound like reruns of colorless soundless motion pictures so I'll let my acts be the apology and my words be the reminder of how much you mean to me. It's not about my promise to you but the one you made to me. The promise I take advantage of. I know you rather be with our son and I know he needs you way more than I do. But in this moment I just want to be selfish. I appreciate you and you will always be the one that taught me how to love and how to respect being loved. I look toward to our not so pleasant conversation that will follow my voice coming back." His voice says over the computer.

"You could have said all of that to me if you recorded it."

He shows me his phone. It was a conversation between him and someone. There was a long text. He was asking the person to record the message using his voice sample. I chuckle. So it wasn't really his voice, well. It wasn't him talking.

"Okay, Tremaine." I say. "Until we have our conversation."

"I need to be in New York." He says softly.

I shake my head. "No. Only place you flying is LA. Should have fucking thought about that before you ran around here like a fool. No."

"Lip sync."

"No. You didn't even sleep last night. Do I have to say no again?"

He sighs then takes his phone out.

Trey: Well you tell all the fucking people waiting to see me that.

"It's a free concert anyway. You lose money going to it. It's promotional."

He makes a face then eats his food without anymore arguing. Like we not about to go in circles. You did what you did so you pay the fucking consequences. End of story. I leave out of the room and go to the kitchen to make him some hot tea. Get this big baby voice back. He just keeps fighting his body. How are you supposed to heal if you fighting everything that will make you better? When I go home and leave his ass then he will be acting like I'm being unreasonable. I jump. Trey had scared the shit out of me. He chuckles deeply then wraps his arms around me. I fall for it every time.

"You right." He whispers.

"I'm glad you see that, Tremaine."

He picks the tea box up reading it. I look at his face. He tries to straighten it up before I could see the expression he was making. I'm not even going to fight with him about the tea. He puts it down then he hugs me again.

"I'm not wasting this tea if you not going to drink it, Lane." I snap.

"I will." He says in my ear.

He kisses my ear slowly then my neck. I push him away from me. No. I always let him erase my anger with his sweet kisses and sex. He needs to rest and get better so I can go home to my baby. He has until tonight. I'm leaving for sure in the morning.

"Morning, bitches." Kirven says walking into the kitchen. "Aye, Rollie said that he will see you at the beach in the morning. He went to get his daughter. This breakfast for everybody?"

"Yes." I say. "Wait let me get mine first."

I move away from Trey to get something to eat. Forrest is going to be up soon and I'm not fighting men for food. I sit it on the counter looking at Trey. He had put the tea bag in the hot water I made for him. He picks my plate up and nods his head towards the room. I sigh. We do have to have an unpleasant conversation about his week and his depression. We need to do something about that. Maybe I should pull one of his moves and have a therapist come in and talk with him. I'll see where our conversation goes later today.

[highschoolrealityff]

Chapter 23

Mallory 

Even though I’m in my feelings about what’s going on with Mikey and I. I didn’t want to easily let him off the hook. He was dead wrong for the way he reacted. I would never purposely try to trap him with a baby. I have my own future to think about as well. College is so close that I can nearly taste it. My phone began to buzz onto of my bed. I quickly reached for it so I could see who was interrupting my thoughts. 

 Babe Calling. . .

I immediately rolled my eyes and tapped answer. “Hello?”. “Hey Mal can we please talk and get through this?” He asked sounding like he was sincere. “Sure what else do you have to say to me?” I asked him with a hint of attitude. “Mal baby I’m sorry for coming at you like that. I was scared that you could of been pregnant! We’re both not ready for that. I’m actually trying to go to College and I know I want to build with you from there” He said as I sighed and slightly calmed down. “I know babe. I was scared too shit ! I’m only 17. I don’t know how to be somebody’s mama” I said as I slightly left out a chuckle. “Shit I agree. You’d be one sexy ass milf though” He said as my smile grew. It was for this very reason I knew I loved this boy. He could be impulsive with his thinking and reactions but I knew he actually cared about me and loved me. 

“If you’re not busy this Friday. I want to take you on a date. I got to make my actions up to you somehow” Ty said as I blushed. “Sure you can pick me up at 8pm” I said. “Sounds good baby. I’m gonna hit the hay but I’ll see your pretty face tomorrow. Night baby”. “Goodnight babe” I replied then ended the call. 

I hope whatever we have going on lasts forever. 

Keisha 

Even though I was beyond done with Keeis trifling ass. I had to know what Kambria was talking about. It doesn’t sit right with me he’d be all up in Kambria’s face especially how mean she’s always been to him when we dated. Something wasn’t right at all. Even though my tolerance for Kambria has lessen. I needed to know what the hell was up with him. I have to prepare myself for the worst. Knowing Keeis, he probably did some foul shit. I pulled my phone out and typed his number in the messages app. 

Meet me at the park at 8pm. Don’t respond, you know who it is. 

I sighed and tapped send. I had to face my demons one way or the other. 

~~~ 

It was already 8:00pm on the dot and that nigga was running late per his usual. I didn’t have all fucking night to be waiting on him. I’m already annoyed with myself because just a few weeks ago Keeis was threating my life. As I kept sitting on the hood of my car. I spotted his car from a mile away as he was pulling into the park’s parking lot. 

His car pulled up a few spaces away from my car. I couldn’t help but get a little nervous because a small piece of me cared about his raggedy ass. As soon as Keeis opened his door and stepped out. My teenaged heart skipped a beat. 

“Hey Keish” He said in his deep sultry voice. I quickly shook my thoughts and rolled my eyes at him. “Sup” I replied dryly. “Well I’m here what’s up?” He asked as he closed his car door and leaned against it. “How about you tell me. Why do I have to hear from Kambria you’ve been moving weird?” I asked looking dead into his eyes. His composure didn’t change when I just asked him about Kambria. “Earth to Marquis! I know you heard me !” I said growing more impatient with him. “Nothing happened Keisha. I don’t know what she’s talking about” He said then shrugged. 

“Don’t lie to me. I know Kambria is a bitch but she would not lie about you being all nice to her especially when she can’t stand your ass” I said then hopping off the hood of my car to get back inside of my car. He said what he had to without saying anything at all. That’s all I needed to know. 

“Keisha wait” He said as I ignored him and started my car. 

Kambria

“Hey Chris. Can we please talk it’s important” I said as he quickly turned around. “What the fuck are you doing here ? “ He asked as he looked caught off guard. “You weren’t answering my texts and I need to talk to you” I said hoping deep down he’d just let me say what I needed to. He sighed and nodded. 

“Go ahead but I have to go inside soon” He calmly said as I swallowed my saliva a couple of times. “Well I want to talk about what happened at my house a few weeks ago” I said. “What about it?” He asked confused. 

“You don’t remember !?” I asked getting upset. “Chris WE HAD SEX! How could you just forget?!” I exclaimed getting pissed off that he’s really trying to brush me off like having sex with me is nothing. He stood there and scratched his head as he looked at me with a crazy look. “No we didn’t. I would of remembered” He said as the anger inside of me was growing. “Yes we did ! You came through and we had sex in my living room” I said trying to get him respond. “Look Kambria. You’re cool and everything BUT we didn’t and I don’t appreciate you trying to create a situation that didn’t happen” He said seriously as my eyes started to fill up. 

“I thought you liked me!” I yelled at him as my tears were blinding my sight. 

“I do like you but I went about it all wrong. I want to try things with Kadence. I would never deny us having sex but we didn’t Kambria” He said then turning away to walk back into the backyard. 

As he walked away I felt my chest get tight. Not only was he lying about what happened. He didn’t even want anything to do with me. I was really hurt and I was going to make Kadence pay for really fucking shit up. 

The day she decided to get in the way of Chris actually liking me was her first mistake. 

Payback was on the way. Believe that. 

[dreamdollxbreezy]

Stage Five

Chase

Tying the apron around her waist I lay a gentle and innocent kiss on her cheek. Turning her lips meet my cheek.

"Daddy help me please." Hope comes over with her small chefs hat undone.

"Mommy what are we making?" Gabby asked.

"Pizza babe remember. Since you girls both did good on the test you had at school this is a personal pizza slumber party for just us."

Our beautiful smarty pants here both got a 100% in a test they individually got in school so I put up this idea. They can't seems to get enough of each other always calling after school. I just love seeing how happy she is with her new best friend. And...spending all this time with Tammy has been great as well.

Things with us are steadily moving in a friendly pace. I decided with Gabe being an ass she needs all the support she can get. He has yet to make any effort with that threat he made which I'm not surprised about. It was just an emotional thing to say since he knows how much gabby means to her. I know personally if Hope's mother ever threaten to take my love away from me it would be war.

"Ok girls let's check everything off. First things first....pajamas?"

"Check!" They had matching Disney princess onesies.

"Pizza ingredients?" Tammy said picking up the pack of pizza dough.

"Check!"

"How about dessert do we have the cake and ice cream?"

"Yes!" They both jumped laughing. It was a beautiful sight.

"Alright let's get started. Tammy if you would cue some cooking music for us please."

She does a courtesy giggling picking up her phone that is connected to the wireless speaker I have. Her hips swing as the music from a movie the girls are familiar with starts up. She dances back over to us bumping my hip on the way.

"Under the sea Under the sea Darling it's better Down where it's wetter Take it from me Up on the shore they work all day Out in the sun they slave away While we devotin' Full time to floatin' Under the sea"

The girls held hands dancing. "You guys are suppose to help us."

"Oh sorry hope daddy. I wanna put the sauce on with lots and lots of cheese." Hope smiled.

I prepared the dough with gabby while Tammy and Hope cut up toppings. Every other second I'd look up at them laughing.

"Mr Chase why do you keep looking at my mommy?" Gabby asked rolling the dough around.

"Well um...your mommy is very pretty." Might as well be honest. Children are way smarter than us adults are willing to admit.

"I know she's says I'm pretty to all the time." She smiles up at me.

"Of course both you and your mommy are beautiful young ladies." I poke her nose making her blush and giggle.

"I like you Mr Chase."

We start pressing out the dough and Tammy bring over the toppings. We let the girls put what they want on one pizza leaving the second for us.

"I saw you over here making my daughter blush." Tammy nudged me smirking. "What were you guys talking about?"

"She caught me taking regular glances at you and I let her know I think both you and your daughter are very beautiful young ladies as is my daughter." Honesty is my thing as you can see.

"Oh thank you. I happen to think you sir are very handsome." She bites her lip putting down a few green peppers.

Stepping behind her I grab the bowl of mixed cheeses. She turns her head watching as I spread it around our pizza. Our hands collide making us both laugh. Turning together our noses rub. The girls laughing catches our attention seeing them watching us.

"Are you gonna kiss her daddy?" They giggled more.

Before I could answer my door bell rings. I wasn't expecting anyone so this is very random. I'm not a fan of in the moment visit from guest.

"Mother....did you call me or something?"

She let herself in along with her plus one. "No just thought I drop by to see my grand baby. Where is my  sweetie?"

"In the kitchen we ourselves have guest." As I'm walking off April makes her presents known. "Yes?"

"Hi?"

"Hello Hope is in the kitchen like I said."

"You don't want to know why I'm with your mother?"

"Not at all. That information does not include anything about our daughter. Why should I be concerned about what you do in your time not with Hope?"

She rolls her eyes walking ahead of me stopping suddenly. "Who are you?"

"Tammy hi. Oh this is my daughter Gabby." She smiled gesturing to themselves.

Both my mother and April looked at me.

"Are you sleeping with my son?"

Tammy(Dream)

"Is that your business?"

His mother made a look of surprise. I know she doesn't think I was gonna shrink back from her. Those pearls and diamonds expensive shit don't mean a damn thing to me. Respect is earned always how many dollars signs you doesn't and shouldn't be a instant respect magnet. I could get all that my damn self.

"Excuse me don't talk to her like that. You don't know who you are messing with." This other chick says stepping.

"I give back what is given to me. What I do with her son is between us it doesn't matter who is asking. Why is it either of you his mother and sister concern what we do?"

"I am not his sister I'm her mother. If you are around my daughter then I have every right to know who you are."

"Oh ok but I told you who I was you didn't even think to introduce yourself honey. You just right on me so again why is it your concern what I do with your daughter father since you two clearly are not together."

These two already getting on my nerves. It's been a great day I've spent with my daughter and now chase and Hope. They not about to come around ruining shit. Mother, baby mamma I don't care no one talks to me as if I'm a nobody.

"Chase why is this woman here with you?"

His mother approaches him. She seems like the overprotective controlling type. Poor Chase.

"She is accompanying Hope and I in celebrating our daughters getting amazing grades in school."

"What happen with Penny she was a lovely girl."

"She also was just another gold digger mother." I saw him look over at Hopes mother.

"And this one isn't? Why haven't I met her until now?"

"I didn't know I was obligated to let you meet everyone I know mother. This is Tammy my friend...this is my mother Joyce and this is my daughters mother April."

Both women look over at me. I could just tell they were judging me.

The smirk couldn't be hidden even if I tried while I wave my fingers. "Girls lets go pick out the movie we're gonna watch."

They both run pass me. In Hopes room I go to close the door as a heel stops it. "Hi mommy!"

She walks in bumping my shoulder. Why oh why must people try me so hard. "Hi baby. You didn't introduce me to your new friend."

"This is Gabby and that's her mommy Ms Tammy." She smiled at me. "She's really nice mommy daddy likes her."

I chuckled shaking my head. Kids are such a hoot.

"More than daddy likes mommy?" This bitch.

"Maybe they almost kissed earlier." Hope tried whispering.

"Ok so what are we watching girlies!? Moana....little mermaid....princess and the frog or Pocahontas?"

"Frozen mommy we wanna watch frozen."

"Ok you guys start watching and I'll go check on our pizzas." After putting in the movie I walk out. The mother took it upon herself to get my attention. "You need something from me?"

"Stay away from my daughter and my man."

"Girl bye. That child is just as much his as she is yours if he wants me around I'll be around. From what I understand he is not your man and never will be again since someone messed up...isn't that right sticky fingers?"

I smirk at her widen eyes. Chase told me all about this one. She damn near tried ruining a family self made business all for a couple of bucks. Now she got the nerve to be all in my face?

"You don't know shit about me. I meant what I said and if I have to say it again we will have a problem."

Walking up I make it known I'm not scared of this bitch. Clearly the money is getting into her head.

"We already have a problem honey. One being your breath...garlic really? And two you are no one to me you put no type of fear in my heart. I've been through hell and back so dealing with a babymomma who doesn't know her place is nothing."

It was a slight stare down but like I said she's no threat.

"April your ride is leaving." Chase came up behind me. His hand rest on my waist. "Is she bothering you?" He whispered.

"No just talking. The girls are watching a movie I was on my way to check on the pizzas."

He nods letting me go I walk off smiling.

"This is what you do Chase? Do I mean anything to you."

Uh...poor Chase.

[uberff]

Chapter 6

Robyn

I literally woke up with a big goofy smile on my face. The only thing I could think about was how good Kai made me feel last night. After we were finished at my place, we went back to his. I knew my legs were like noodles so I wasn't even gone attempt to walk.

I managed to take a quick bath since Kai was downstairs doing lord knows what, but I literally was limping. I think the hot bath made my legs better though.

"You finally up?" Kai asked as he came in scratching his head. He had on his durag, boxers, and socks looking like a whole full course meal. Kai didn't even have to try.

"Yea, how long was I sleep?"

"10 hours g.." he shook his head with a smile as my eyes widened. That's honestly a blessing for me. No wonder I woke up feeling refreshed.

"Haven't gotten sleep like that since I was in the womb." I admitted, making Kai laugh. It was true. I've always had trouble staying asleep growing up and I still do. Maybe I need Kai to dick me down every night.

"I made breakfast.. you hungry?" He said as he grabbed a pair of sweats out of his drawer before slipping them on.

"Yes, but you gotta carry me." I smiled as he winked at me before coming to pick me up bridal style.

As he carried me to the kitchen, the mixture of different foods filled my nose and it smelled lovely. When Kai sat me down on one of the high chairs, I gasped at what was in front of me.

"Kaiden! You didn't have to do this, thank you!" I said still in disbelief. I was shocked because I didn't think he could cook and because he made a whole feast. He must've loved our little event from last night because he doesn't even cook for himself.

"Yea I did.. its my way of apologizing from spazzin' last night. I hate fighting wit you, especially over small shit. Plus, you put it on a nigga.. I ain't even gone lie." He grinned at me as he ate a piece of a strawberry. Just when I was about to thank him again, his phone started ringing.

"Hello?" He answered, giving me the hold on signal with his finger.

"Ma, I got comp-" Ma? I know that isn't short for mom, which is short for mother.

"You outside?" I looked down at my attire and mentally cursed to myself.

"Uh baby.. my mom's outside and I'm pretty sure you don't want her seeing you like this so you might wanna go put on some clothes. I mean it don't matter to me but.." he assured me, referring to the red bra and panties I had put on specially for him since it was his favorite color. Scratch that, did he say his mom?

"Kai I know you did not just say your damn mama." He looked at me with a look of sympathy on his face because he knew I wasn't ready to meet her yet. Especially when I just got done riding her son's dick into the sunset. How could he?

He's told me many stories about his mom, and she seems like a sweet lady. I don't really care if anyone doesn't like me, but I WANT his mom to. Meeting her like this just gives me bad vibes. I swear Ima kill Kai when she leaves.

"We ain't got time to discuss this ma, just go throw some shit on." He said as he jogged towards his living room. I swear this nigga probably set this whole thing up.

I ran up the stairs so fast, I almost busted my damn ass in the process.

Shaking my head in slight anger, I snatched off my bandeau and replaced it with a plain T shirt and a pair of biker shorts. That was appropriate enough I guess.

Leaving my hair in its ponytail, I took a deep breath before making my way down the stairs where I heard Kai, his mom, and his brother.

"Baby, who's got you cooking? Every time I try to get you to cook with me, you never want to." I heard her say to him as I chuckled lowly. When I was at the last stair, I hurriedly walked to the kitchen to show my face.

I didn't even step a toe in there yet and they were already looking at me. A smile immediately spread across his mother's face as she walked up closer to me. Wyd?

"Buttercup! Is this the one you've been talking my ear off about?" She looked at Kai as he nodded and smirked at me. Wow, he's been talking to his mom about me? Kai trying to earn some cool points I see.

"My little almond! Come, come!" She said anxiously as she motioned for me to come and hug her. Kai and his brother were too busy laughing at the fact that she nicknamed me her little almond, but I didn't care. I thought it was cute. Her dimples were the cutest.

She was just a gorgeous little petite lady with long black hair. Her black didn't crack at all. She looked like she could be his sister.

"Hi Ms-"

"Honey, you can call me Kaidyn or mama Kai." She assured me as she released me from the hug. She smelled like fruit.

I'm guessing Kai was named after her. I didn't feel comfortable just flat out calling her by her government yet, so Mama Kai it is for now.

"Kai talks about you all the time! You raised him into a great, respectful young man and I want to thank you for that. The way he treats women is incredible." I explained to her as she nodded.

Kai was always saying how didn't disrespect women because he came from one and grew up in a house hold full of them. Plus, he wouldn't want anyone disrespecting his mother.

"Yes, I'm very thankful that he remembers what I taught him. He will not stop calling me every night about you, Ms. Robyn. You're even prettier in person."

"Thank you, you're gorgeous."

"Ma, when we gone eat?"

"Who is we? I made this for my baby and mama." Kai rose an eyebrow at his brother. They were forever being mean to each other. I don't know if that's how they express their love or what.

"You need help Mama Kai?" I asked once I noticed she was setting up the table.

"Oh no baby, thanks for asking though." She gave me a big smile as she started to get out some plates for all of us. I forgot that Kai had told me that she was a chef, so of course she'd enjoy doing this.

"So Mama Kai, I hear you're a chef.."

"Yes ma'am, I have a passion for cooking. Ever since I was little, I'd always be in the kitchen helping my mother cook. Kai obviously does too, but he thinks it's "gay"." She explained, shaking her head at the end of the sentence.

"Kai why? I think it's cute."

"Why you gotta put me on the spot like that, ma?" He said as he looked down at her. Kai was a good 6'5, so he was the tallest in here.

"Boy please, wait til I show her your baby pictures."

"So what about you Robyn?"

"Well, I have a passion for designing clothes. I'm launching my Summer Collection in a few weeks. I've gotten as far as designing hundreds of prom dresses, wardrobe for Met Gala, many award shows, and I'm currently working on a makeup line for my girls of color." I explained confidently, as she nodded with a look that said she was impressed.

"That's great! I wish you nothing but more success in the future. I might have to get you to design my wedding dress." She smirked at me as I nodded. I would love that.

Once she had brought us our plates, no words were said. Everybody was just eating, and the food was so damn good. I honestly haven't had cooking this good since my mom.

**

Popping a piece of gum in my mouth, I grabbed my purse and carefully walked down the stairs. I had on heels, and I would hate to break my ankles trying to be cute going down the stairs.

When I reached the last stair, I seen Jaylen in the kitchen munching on whatever. Probably a bunch of junk food.

"Where you going wit ya nipples out?" He smirked as he winked at me.

"A place." I stated dryly, trying not to get too carried away in the conversation.

"Damn, what a nigga do now? You being all dry and shit." He got serious and looked down at me. I went into the fridge and grabbed one of my waters before sitting on the couch since Winter wasn't here yet. She was forever taking her sweet ass time.

I didn't want to ignore him I just.. I don't know.

"So you don't hear me? Aight cool." He nodded before leaving and slamming the door in the process. I knew one of his biggest pet peeves was being ignored, so I don't know why I would do that. He'd never do me like that.

"I'm so stupid." I sighed as I put my head in my hands. I was honestly confused. I just wish Jaylen wouldn't have said what he said to Kai, because if he didn't things would be so different. I'm not even gonna put all the blame on Jaylen because it was both of them. Sometimes Kai doesn't know how to let stuff go and he gets mad too fast.

*Flashback*

I've been out dragging Kai with me all day to buy new fabric. The way I've been working, I was bound to run out.

Both of us were tired as hell and since my place was closer, I just decided to go there. Hopefully O was in his room.

Jaylen 🤡: wya

I was honestly too lazy to text back so I would have to get to him later. I knew Kai was tired of holding all my damn bags so I hurriedly unlocked the door.

As soon as I waited for Kai to come in, I couldn't believe who I seen on the couch. Jaylen was about to speak until he saw Kai come behind me and kiss my neck. "I'll be in ya room sleep."

"Fuck you doing with this buster ass nigga?" Jaylen stood up, pointing to  Kai. Kai stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to make sure Jaylen wasn't talking to him.

"Fuck you said?"

"I said fuck you d-"

"Jaylen!" I yelled, not wanting this to go further. I swear Jaylen doesn't know how to shut up. I saw Kai come closer so I tried to hold him back but failed miserably.

"Nah watch out, let him repeat that shit." He stood there waiting for him to go on. Jaylen waved him off as if he wasn't here and turned back to me.

"So this why you be some-timing Robyn? Cause you got a nigga now? You stopped fucking with me for this monkey ass nigga?"

"Yea she got a nigga now. Fuck you worried bout my girl for? Wit this damn over processed perm you got." I didn't even get a chance to talk.

"Look here coochie beard, once again I ain't talking to you. Did ya mom not teach you to speak when you spoken to? Damn." He aggravatingly sighed. Jesus..

"You guys ch-" I started to say but was cut off.

"Ion give a fuck if you talking to me or not, the fuck you worried bout my girl for? She good, she don't need to be talking to you." He said, which Jaylen found funny. I really hope he wasn't about to do or say anything stupid.

"Since you know everything and y'all so gucci, was she ya girl when we was just on the phone two nights ago? Was she ya girl when we was just chillin' on Wednesday? Was she ya girl when she was letting me touch all up on her? Was she ya girl when I ate her puss-"

That's all it took for Kai to charge for Jaylen and deck him right in the mouth. Next thing I know, I saw him pull something from the waistband of his jeans and my heart dropped. "Talk that shit now, bitch ass nigga!" Kai yelled aggressively.

"Nigga fuck you!" Jaylen spat.

I knew about his past so I knew him shooting Jaylen would be nothing for him. But this was over something so small and stupid and believe or not, I'd hate to see Jaylen get hurt in any type of way.

"Kai stop!" I pushed him back with all my force. When he saw the look on my face, his eyes softened but he was still breathing hard. He shook his head before tucking the gun back in his jeans and storming out of the condo.

Sighing, I noticed Jaylen holding his jaw on the couch. "You aight?" I questioned as he nodded.

"Damn Jaylen, you need to learn to stop talking to everybody like you're crazy. Why would you say that to him?"

"Fuck outta here, that nigga was coming at me like I'm a bitch." He spat before standing up and grabbing all his things to leave.

*Flashback Over*

I shook my head at the event and realized that Jaylen's art show was tomorrow night.    I had been working on my dress for decades because literally everyone was gonna be there. It was really important to him and I know he would hate me if I missed it.. Fuck.

"Girl what you over there looking like a lil lost puppy for?" I heard Winter's voice, making me smile a bit. I haven't talked to her in forever. She was like a big sister to me.

"No reason-"

"Wassup hoodrat?" I heard Jaylen's voice. Winter's happy mood immediately changed. It was so funny, because she literally could not stand him. Everyone knew that.

"Boy you look like one of Santa's elves with all this damn green on, fuck outta my face." She rolled her eyes as she snatched her keys off the table.

"Come on Robyn, before he make me hurt him." She mugged him as she left out of the door first. I looked back at him and he looked at me, shaking his head.

"Hollywood, yo." He said but I just shrugged it off.

Was I?

Kai

Once my mom left, I felt relieved. I knew she would like Robyn because she got along with everybody. The only way she wouldn't like you is if you were disrespectful to her or family. Other than that, she straight.

I didn't have much cleaning to do since all the food was gone. My mom told every damn body in her phone that I cooked, so a few of my cousins and shit came over. I didn't mind though, cause I didn't want all the food just sitting here.

I had felt bad for yelling at Rob like I did yesterday, so I cooked for her. I would've went out and bought her a new bag or something, but she would've declined so I did something simple.

I wasn't trying to be insecure or nothing, but when you get fucked over so many times, it's hard not to think some fishy shit going on.

I don't give a fuck about Robyn having a nigga as a friend at all. It was just that nigga that I don't like. This nigga sat there and flirted wit my girl in my face like that wasn't disrespectful.  He had the nerve to tell me what went down between them like I wasn't gone do shit. I swear if Rob ain't calm me down, I would've bodied his dumbass. I got heat for niggas like him.

That's why I don't want her fucking with him. I trust her, it's just him that I don't trust. I got the perfect career, and the girl of my dreams. I ain't letting nobody fuck that up, real talk.

It took a lot of shit to get to where I'm at today. Shit used to be dangerous and hectic before I saved up enough money to start my own business. Before I even started, I bought my mom a gigantic, beautiful house and a brand new Snow White Jag. That was one of my biggest goals before anything. She took care of me all my life, so I felt as if I needed to start taking care of her. Whatever she wants, she can get it because she wasn't always rich, but she still made sure we had everything we wanted and needed growing up.

After I realized that I had more than enough to start my own business, I left that dangerous life style behind. Being a hitman wasn't always easy, but it paid hella good. Good enough to where I started expanding my work.

I just pray that this shit doesn't catch up to me because I'm doing great right now. I'm genuinely happy. But you know every time some shit going good, you get slapped in the face with some bullshit. It never fails.

I swear I been feeling like some shit was bout to pop off lately, like I needed to go see a therapist or something. I keep having these paranoid thoughts that I'm either bout to get killed or go to jail. I really didn't want to talk to Robyn about this neither. That's why I needed to see a therapist.

"Babe, you seen my sketch book?" I heard Rob ask from my room. Snatching her book off of the island, I jogged to my room only to see her fat ass in the air searching for something on the floor. She stayed wearing those tiny ass shorts around me. Her ass swallowed them every time.

"Aye, I wanna talk to you about something.." I said in a stern like tone as I sat down on the bed after handing her the sketch book.

"Man Kai don't tell me you got something, I'll kill you." She stressed as I looked at her like she was crazy. What type of nigga would I be to fuck her raw if I knew I had something? I don't get down like that.

"Nah, you got me bent."

"Sorry, spill."

"I love you, aight? Like that first day I saw you, I ain't think you was gone talk to me but I'm glad you did. These months I've known you have by far been the best moments of my life. Swear I can't even go 30 minutes without talking to you. You special Robyn, and I just wanna say that whatever happens to me in the future.. I'm sorry and I love you." I explained to her as she wore a confused look on her face.

I didn't wanna tell her about my thoughts because she would stress about that shit and I know she got enough shit on her case to be stressing about already.

"Kai, where is this coming from? Don't talk like that, I'd lose my shit if something happened to you."

"Just remember what I said, you got me?" She nodded followed with a sigh. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her slightly big forehead.

"What you wanna do today? I'm all yours." She looked up at me as I became deep in my thoughts. I didn't want to sit around, because I knew tomorrow was quickly approaching.

Tomorrow it was going to be 5 years since my baby girl's been gone, and it's a hard time for me every year. If she was still here, she would've been 9. I could've still been walking her to class every morning, tucking her in bed every night.. all that.

I remember cooking for her and she would always be right by my side, watching my every move. She told me that she wanted to be a chef one day because she loved to help me cook. I didn't think cooking was gay, I just said that shit cause I didn't wanna explain the real reason. Ever since my baby passed, I gave that shit up.

I missed her more than anything, and since she's gone I don't even know if I ever wanna have another child.

"Kai?" Robyn sat up and held my face, breaking me out of my thoughts. She didn't know the exact day my baby died, so of course she didn't know what I was thinking about. I didn't want to talk about it either. I need to text Kayla though, to see if she's still coming with me and my moms.

"Yea wassup?"

"What you wanna do today?" She repeated, stroking my beard. It actually felt good.

"Oh, it don't matter babe. We can go have to the park or something it don't gotta be nothing big."

"How about a picnic?" At first I was about to decline until I thought about it. That ain't sound too bad.

"Yea, that sound chill. Go pack some shit and I'll get everything else." I told her as she nodded and made her way to the kitchen. She better not pack no vegetables and shit. I was cool with fruit.

The sound of my phone vibrating had broke me out of my thoughts. It was Kayla.. my assistant.

Assistant🤞🏾: everything's set for the week, thank me later 😊 ungrateful bastard

I huffed at the last part of her message. She was forever complaining about how I don't appreciate her enough. I thanked her  lil annoying ass every second of the day.

Me: you still going wit me & my mama to see baby girl?

Assistant🤞🏾: duh Kai.. don't forget she was my baby too.

Not wanting to argue with her, I left it at that and just went on about my day. Going to the hall closet, I got out two small and old blankets that Robyn and I could use.

Once I was done, I went in the kitchen to see her leaning on the counter scrolling through her phone. Her booty was poking out of her shorts and I had to get her.

"Let's go!" I yelled as I sent a hard slap to her ass causing her to jump up immediately. "Kai! Ouch!" She dramatically whined.

"You'll be aight." I laughed as I rubbed the spot for her, as she led the way out of my house. I noticed that she had caught an attitude so I was literally about to kiss her ass.

Getting on my knees, I wrapped my arms around her waist so she could stop walking. I gently kissed the spot that I hit before standing back up. "Happy now?" I asked as she nodded with a smile.

Shaking my head at her fake attitude, I opened the car door for her as I made sure she got in and put on her seat belt. After getting in myself, I started the car and followed the directions that she had put on my phone.

Cause I Love You by Lenny Williams was softly playing on the radio and I had seen Robyn turn it up. "What you know about that? That's grown folk music." I smiled at her as she waved me off.

"Boy I grew up on this music. This is the jam." She said as I nodded in agreement. Ain't nothing like that good old school music. You could never go wrong with it, it was good for the soul. I liked our generation of music too, but I was more of an old soul.

"I love youuuuuuu." I sang to Robyn as I gripped her thigh while I drove. She covered her ears and shook her head no.

"You sound like a dying lizard." She busted up laughing, as I couldn't help but smile. She was forever talking shit about ya boy.

I looked over at the short shorts she was wearing, but I didn't mind. I felt like since it was her body, I couldn't tell her what to do with it. If she look good in the shit, why would I tell her to take it off? Just know if a nigga look, I'm cutting his eyes out.

Once we reached the park, I shut the car off and grabbed the basket as she grabbed the old blankets. We had walked up to the hill that Robyn told me about and it was as dope as she described. Some serious brainstorming could be done up here.

"Robyn this all you brought?" I asked as I sat everything on top of the blankets she had put down.

"Yes babe, I told you I'm trying to go vegan." She smiled confidently. This girl..

"Why you ain't pack nun' for me then?"

"Cause then I would've asked for some, I'm sorry." She apologized as her face twisted up into a frown.

"You just too cute. You ain't gotta apologize, I guess I'll just be healthy with you." I said as I popped a grape tomato in my mouth. Which was a stupid thing to do by the way, cause I fucking hated tomatoes.

"How you know about this view?"

"My daddy used to take me up here all the time and read me his little poems." She smiled as she looked off into space.

I took that as my time to let her do her and enjoy the view myself. I had to get a picture of this shit though. Just imagine it at night when you can see the stars and shit.

Putting my phone away, I decided to just admire the sunset and my girl's presence. I tried not to think about the fact that these mosquitoes were tearing a nigga up.

Some Marvin Gaye was playing from her Beats Pill, and I ain't know about her but that shit was making me horny. The way the sun bounced off of her toffee colored, smooth, freshly shaved legs.. the way her ass say gently onto the ground. The way her natural beauty stood out on her bare face. I could go on.

"Why're you staring like I'm not yours?" She smiled, looking over at me. Damn she was beautiful.

Not wanting to reply to that, I grabbed her hand and interlocked my fingers with hers, lightly squeezing her dainty hand. Her hand felt like butter and shit. Her whole body felt like it, to be honest.

She had let go of my hand and grabbed it, which broke me out of my thoughts. I was about to ask what she was doing until she shushed me before smirking.

Her hand slowly guided mines from her small perky breasts down to the band of her shorts.

"I like how you trying to be sexy and shit, but we gotta speed this up before a bear pop out and eat both of our asses up."

I told her as we both busted out laughing but I was lowkey dead ass.

Jaylen

You seen Robyn? Her ass been ducked off."

"Fuck that hoe." I mumbled only loud enough for myself to hear. It's crazy how people do you.

"Huh?"

"Nothing man, I'ma bounce." I said, and with that I dipped. I wasn't in the mood to talk about her fake ass right now.

First of all, she cut me off out of no where and to be honest, that actually hurt the little bit of feelings that I did have left. She ain't say why or nothing.

I'm thinking that maybe her phone was broken or whatever, so I thought she hadn't forgot about my event and was still coming. Boy was I wrong. She had me looking hella stupid.

*Flashback*

Everyone was here, but Robyn. She was supposed to be like the first person here, but here we are.. 3 hours later and she a no show. This event was about to be over in a few minutes.

Once I thanked everyone for coming, people were starting to leave so I took that as my time to hit her up again hoping that she had a good excuse. She better have had the bubble guts or got shot or some shit.

Calling her for like the 100th time, her phone had went to voicemail. "You good?" Odell asked as he noticed the frustration on my face. I couldn't tell him that I was pissed because his sister ain't show up. He'd think we fuck with each other.

"Ion wanna talk about it.." I told him as I walked away and sat outside on the steps. I had on a maroon suit and Robyn was supposed to have on the sparkly maroon gown that she made specifically for this night. She wouldn't stop talking about how she couldn't wait for me to see it. A nigga was actually excited to see it, too.

I really couldn't believe this motherfucker.  She could've at least called in advance and let me know. I wouldn't even have been mad, but to stand me up? She got me hella fucked up.

After a while, a car pulled up a few feet away from me making me look up. When the door opened, there appeared a tipsy Robyn wiping her mouth. I then started to put the pieces together when her nigga or whatever was zipping up his pants. Why did she even bring this clown? Now I was really pissed.

I thought they were about to come inside of the building, but they went the opposite way to the hotel next door. So she blew me off to suck some dick? She could've did that earlier. It couldn't wait?

"I swear as soon as bitches get dick that's all they see, think, smell, and breathe." I mumbled to myself as I pulled out my phone to check my messages.

That familiar scent that I loved so much had caught my attention. I looked over and noticed that Robyn had went back to the car to get something. I took that as my que to speak to her.

"So you really stood me up for some dick, Robyn?" I stood behind her as she jumped at the sound of my voice. She slowly turned around and blinked. She sobered up real quick.

"Jaylen, you were constantly touching on me, flirting and all that and you knew I had a boyfriend. You even told him about the little event that we had, which caused him not to like you. If it was the other way around, I would tell him to cut off a girl that's constantly stepping out of the friendship boundaries as well."

"Ok and instead of cutting a nigga off, you could've fucking told me to chill. Its cool though, cause I see that he more important than me. Even though I was here for you before him. I see where your loyalty lies Rob." I chuckled bitterly.

"Jayle-"

"You ain't even gotta apologize to cause you know you ain't even sorry." And with that, I walked away.

*Flashback Over*

That was the last time I heard from her trifling ass, which was a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, I needed to talk to her just for a second cause I think I left my watch in her room the last time I was there. Now I was wishing that Winter liked me, cause I could just tell her to get it. Oh well, here goes nothing.

Sucking my teeth, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number since it wasn't saved anymore. After a few rings she answered. "Yo," I heard a male voice, which made me think I had the wrong number but it couldn't be.

"Where Robyn at?" I asked blankly. He started to laugh, which confused me.

"I know this ain't who I think it is.."

"Nigga you guessed it. Now put her on the phone, I ain't call to catch up on old times and shit. Time is ticking."

"Nah she occupied wit my dick right now."

"Aight, well can you put it on speaker?" I asked, waiting for him to stop bullshitting. I didn't care about all that extra shit, I just wanted my watch honestly.

Next thing I know, the phone had hung up making me suck my teeth. I guess I would just have to go over to O's place my damn self.

Grabbing a condom or two, I slid them in my wallet before sliding it in my back pocket. Once I stepped into my shoes, I grabbed my car keys and went next door.

It was quiet in here so I was hoping that Robyn wasn't here. That way I could just get my watch and leave. When I walked into Robyn's room, there she was on the bed laid up with Kyle. Cuties.

"Yo-" I cut off his attempt to start ranting. He could never chill, like dude ain't nobody even worried about yo funky ass.

"Nigga chill out ain't nobody checking for yo nut head ass girlfriend, I came to get my rollie." I waved him off as I went to the closet and grabbed the duffle bag I had left over here for decades.

They had went back to ignoring my presence but when I started to walk out, I threw some water onto her bed to where it got on both of them. Her nigga immediately got up and I dashed off, laughing my ass off. You would've thought that I was Jesse Owens.

I knew her nigga stayed strapped, but I just liked fucking with him. He got so mad over shit and it was mad funny. I could tell he really ain't like but I ain't give a fuck.

Once I was back in my crib, I unzipped the duffle bag and my watch was right at the top. I was only going to the store to get more paint but I still needed to look good. You never knew who you were going to see.

Since I only lived on the second floor, it took a few seconds for me to get off of the elevator. When I got to the parking lot, I unlocked my car with the button on my keys and got in. The first thing I did was put on my seatbelt, safety first.

Michael's was literally a 5 minute drive since it was around the corner. With the way my speeding skills were set up, I was there in no time.

As I went to the aisle with paint, I noticed a petite light skin girl trying to reach for something. She had on a shirt with a little girl that read RIP. The girl looked like her too.. damn.

I heard some stuff fall which broke me out of my thoughts. She was struggling over there. "I got it. What you need?" I assured her as I walked over to her. She looked at me confusingly before speaking.

"The lavender paint. I don't know why they put it at the top today. The pastel colors go at the bottom." She said as she started to pick up the things she dropped. I noticed that it looked like she had been crying, but I ain't wanna get all in her business.  

"Here you go.." I handed her the paint as she just stood there staring at me like she was thinking about something. She was looking at me like I was a piece of meat.

"I.. My bad. Thank you." She said lowly as she took the paint from by hand. I chuckled because I could tell that was nervous as fuck.

"Need anything else?"

**

"I needed that, I haven't had sex in years." She caught her breath as she took her hair out of the ponytail that it was in, letting it flow down her back. I had been pulling on that shit for the longest.

Long story short, she told me that she just wanted to do something to take her mind off of whatever she was sad about. We went back to my place, and y'all know how that go. I ain't think she had it in her.

We talked for a bit, ended up drinking way more than what we was supposed to, then had sex. It's been a minute for me, so I was geeked about that.

She never told me what she was crying about, but I got some pussy instead so I wasn't tripping. "Why is that?" She shrugged. She started to put back on her clothes.

"I'm gonna go though, bye..-" I stopped her then remembered we never exchanged names. I mean it really wasn't important, it's not like I'ma ever see this girl again.

"Jaylen."

"Kayla." She smiled weakly before leaving out of the room. I heard my front door slam shut, so I took that as my time to get up and get in the shower.

Washing my body and hair for about 30 minutes, I finally stepped out and just threw some shorts and a plain white tee on. I was only going to O's house. I guess that was the spot for tonight.

Lacing up my vans, I made sure everything was turned off before leaving and going next door. When I walked in, I seen O and Winter playing Uno.

"I got a blunt." I called out as I seen Winter smile. Now she was trying to be my friend. Pulling the blunt and lighter out of my pocket, I took a seat at the table where they sat.

Once it was lit, I started to take a few hits before feeling buzzed. Winter had reached her hand out making me laugh. Fuck her, I just remembered all the times she put her hands on me.

"Get Out the way, tranny." I said as I playfully pushed her out the way. I knew she'd curse my ass out, but it was funny every time. I loved fucking wit her. All bullshit aside, she was the homie though.

"Look here Banana bitch, I'm warning you now.. I will fuck you up today." She threatened as I tried my best to hold in my laughter.

"Jay, why you always fucking wit my girl? One day she gone fuck you up and I even ain't gone say nun'." O chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her. She stuck her tongue out at me and I flicked her off. I swear if Winter was my girl, I'd have her in check fuck that attitude shit. He be letting her punk him.

"Here.." I gave the weed to O. Winter scoffed. I knew he couldn't smoke since Football but I was trying to make her mad.

"Why didn't you pass it to m-"

"Cause nobody like y-" I started to say before her hand came in contact with the back of my neck. This hoe.

"I got my own weed from back home anyways fuck that weak ass corn you got." She rolled her eyes as she got up to go in O's room. She always felt the need to let everybody know that she got her weed from Jamaica. She need to take her ass back, don't nobody care.

"Corn? Girl please." I waved her off. Now she was just saying shit just to say it.

"Y'all argue too much."

"That's her, she can't ever take a joke."

"Cause you not fucking funny nigga. You swear you Kat Williams wit your ugly ass." She rolled her eyes. I really tried to hold in my laughter, cause I ain't want her mad ass to explode on me but this shit was funny.

"You know who funny? You are. You funny as shit. HAHAHA." I draped my arm across her shoulder as she quickly pushed it off with a mug on her face.

"I'm going to sleep, you're aggravating." She waved me off as she put her head down on the table, putting her damn stale ass ends on my plate in he process.

"I love you." I teased her, only for her to ignore me. She was really pissed off.

I was about to speak until I seen Robyn come down the stairs with Kangaroo. She really cut me off for this hairy nigga.

"You let her have company?"

"Yea.. I trust her." He shrugged as I sucked my teeth. But if it was me, he wouldn't condone that shit.

I'm guessing her nigga had left, because she came back and started small talk with Odell.

I tried my best to ignore her like she been doing me but she had a nigga beat. I was still putting in effort to ignore her every move and gon' about my business but, shit. She was breath taking, I glanced at her with the quickness and froze when we locked eyes.

She looked away but I pulled some Kanye shit and kept looking to make her feel uncomfortable and I succeeded. Her conversation with O was cut short, she rubbed the back of her neck nervously and headed towards the bathroom, a few steps away from the kitchen where I was. I gave it a few seconds before I headed that way, to make it really seem like I had to piss.

I heard her talking to herself softly before I opened the door, of course Robyn ain't lock the damn door. She jumped and I put my hands up in surrender. "It's only me."

"Jaylen, you scared the shit outta me." she said, holding her heart. Her chest heaving up and down. Damn, I really scared her.

"I hope you flushed." I joked but she ain't catch it. I smiled nervously and she smirked. "Anyway, I ain't know you was still in here. My bad." I tried to guilt trip her into talking to me. Drastic times, drastic measures. I started making my way out and her voice stopped me.

"It's okay." she said softly. She wanted to talk to me but it was something or someone holding her back.

"We grown, we ain't kids. This nigga tell you to stop fuckin' wit' me?" I mumbled with a slight frown.

"Yeah." she mumbled lowly.

"I respect that." I said to her surprise and mine...I meant it though.

"You do?" I nodded. "I woulda respected the situation even more if you woulda hit my line and told me where we stood. I was thinking we was cool during the finals. You up and left a nigga like KD did Westbrook and ain't say shit."

The basketball reference must've confused her because her eyebrows came together.

"You just cut me off like I was dead weight. Like it won't shit for you to leave me alone."

"I do miss us being friends. Kai don't though."

I rolled my eyes. So this nigga the reason why she missed my event? Rob ain't known for breaking promises so I know she ain't do that shit by free will.

"We friends. This nigga won you at an auction or sum'n? You his property? He fuckin' you?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Knowing Rob's curious ass, she probably turnt the hell out already.

"Friends don't look at each other the way you look at me and touch me, and talk to me. He felt some type of way."

"Nigga, pineapples. Create a fuckin' safe word, you had me out here lookin' stupid at my event. Where's Rob? You seen Rob?" I imitated my head ass emotions. "I ain't doing shit on purpose, you fine and sometimes I can't-"

"See. Friends don't call each other fine."

"Man, shit. You pretty, far from ugly. Name one nigga who wouldn't tell you that every chance he could."

She couldn't.

"Exactly. Look, I'll stop the flirting. We could be strictly friends, you know I ain't got much other than O and big head ass Winter. I told you some dark shit and you up and left wit' it."

"Sorry, I should've said something." she said. "Sorry, you're right. How was your event?"

"My fleeky bestie wasn't there to match my fly. It was cool though, killed it by myself."

"Happy for you." she said. And then it dawned on me, he told her to stop talking to me but we see who got the upper hand. We having a whole ass conversation in the bathroom. Nigga nowhere to be found.

"Wait. We talking, you gon' make sure thuggish-ruggish bone ass Kenny don't pop the trunk on my bitch ass?" I said in air-quotes, mocking and quoting him from that one altercation. Nigga thought he was tough. My skinny ass could murk him in two licks AND walk away with his bitch.

"I told him we were just friends. I'll make sure he doesn't try shit."

"Shit, I'll make sure he don't try shit. Fuck him." I spat and she shook her head.

"Jealous ass."

"I got a right to be."

"You started it. How I let you eat and you go in for seconds on the same night with a random?"

"She ain't random, we know her very well."

"Nigga...okay, I'm going upstairs."

"I'm playin', Rob. Good talk, though."

"Yeah, cool ass. Let's try this again when you ain't on 10." she smiled cutely and I mirrored it.

"I'ma chill out." I semi-promised. I'ma try to at least so we could be on good terms. She my only real friend.

"Kay. I know you didn't really have to use the bathroom, stalker." I was about to respond and say something childish back, but I remembered that she never showed me the dress cause she didn't show up.

"Ay, you should show me that dress that you never got to wear."

"Oh yea.. I did tell you I'd show you. Come on." She grabbed my hand in excitement and quickly led the way to her room. I missed our friendship and I wasn't letting nobody come in between that shit this time. Kai who?

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 60.1

Hope

Parting my lids to welcome the first few rays of sunlight through the blinds of the window, I yawned and raised a hand to toss several strands of my disgustingly tangled hair out of my face. I was still half asleep when my eyes adjusted and landed back on that window… and I realized there were no rays of sunshine beaming in my face. There was just a light on somewhere in the room and I wasn’t exactly sure where it was coming from… or who’s room I was even in. Turning my head to the right to do a bit more investigating, my eyes roamed past the clock on a nightstand that read 2:12 am, and when my stare finally found a stopping point I instantly smiled at the sight of Chris standing in the bathroom with the door wide open, directly in my line of vision. He stood shirtless, in only a pair of black basketball shorts that contrasted his colorfully inked skin to perfection. I could hear the sound of water running and I assumed he had the sink faucet on. My assumptions were confirmed when he leaned back, shut off the water, and grabbed a nearby towel to dry his hands. Once his task was complete, he dropped the towel on the counter and turned to make his way out of the bathroom. It wasn’t until he got half way through the doorway when he finally looked up and locked eyes with me.

“Hi.” He greeted enthusiastically with the cutest smile to match.

“Hi.” I giggled.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m fine.”

His smile dropped within the blink of an eye and he frowned, glancing briefly at my belly that I’m assuming he covered with his comforter somewhere in the night.

“Seriously?”

“How am I supposed to feel?” I laughed, watching him closely as he moseyed closer to the bed with his shoulders slumped pitifully.

“After all that damn work I put in… you’re supposed to be in labor right now.” He fussed.

I full on laughed at the disappointed expression on his face and shook my head “You are something else, you know that?”

“I know that… which is why I was appointed to come in here and break your water. And here you are, busting my little bubble… talking about, you’re fine.” He shook his head with his hands wedged against his hips and I laughed harder, shutting my eyes and dropping my hands down to my belly. Whether from the hard laughter, or all the work he had indeed put in only about an hour ago, I wasn’t sure… but I could feel a distinct uncomfortable pressure in my lower abdomen that I hadn’t felt before.

Deciding to chalk it up to the fact that we hadn’t had sex in a while and Chris had indeed delivered more than enough powerful thrusts to at least shift a few organs around, I laughed at the thought and instructed him to come pull me up from the bed so I could go relieve myself. The moment I was on my feet, my legs ached and trembled enough for him to notice and smirk arrogantly.

“What are you smirking at sir?” I asked, gripping onto his shoulders as he stood in front of me, steading me on my swollen feet.

“If I can’t have the satisfaction of breaking your water, the least I can get is a pat on the back for almost breaking your legs.” He chuckled obnoxiously.

Squinting my eyes at him, I opened my mouth, fully prepared to fuss when I felt it… a pop. I could feel a very distinct pop right between my legs and sudden warm liquid trickling down my inner thighs. I could only pray that I hadn’t just fully lost control of my bladder and pee’d right on his floor, right in his face… there was no way I could explain that. Glancing down at the carpet beneath us, I stared in utter horror at the dark stain coating his floor and gasped… that wasn’t pee at all. If I wasn’t mistaken, my water had just broken.

“What? What’s wrong? Why are you looking like that?” He asked, gently pushing me back to peer down at what’d caught my attention. “I seriously thought I’d just pee’d on your floor… that would have been so embarrassing.” I laughed, feeling completely relieved that I wouldn’t have to awkwardly explain myself.

“Then what is that? What the hell just happened?”

“I think my water broke.”

“What!” He just about shouted in my face as he gripped my arms and pushed me back away from the puddle as if it were some foreign object, “Well what do we do? Why are you so calm? Why the fuck are you so calm?”

“Calm down,” I giggled, gripping onto him so I could continue my journey on to the bathroom because if I didn’t make it there soon, there would eventually end up being two puddles on the floor, “Can you go see if your mom is home?”

“Why? We need to go… and where are you going? We need to get your bag so we can go Hope. You can’t have this baby on the toilet!” He was clearly on the brink of a complete meltdown, I could tell that just by how flustered he looked and the heat rising in his cheeks. He continued to stand in the doorway of the bathroom as I waddled my way to the toilet to pee and the moment I sat down and turned to face him, I burst into laughter at the sight of him glaring at me like I had three heads.

“Can you please just get me a shirt and go get your mother?” Staring at me for several seconds too long, he barely managed to snap out of it and he whipped around to bolt back into his bedroom. Seconds later he reemerged with an oversized white t-shirt that he insisted on pulling down over my head for me. It took a bit more coaxing to get him to actually leave my side for just a minute to go find his mother, but eventually he reluctantly did but not before making me promise not to move. Not like I was really planning on it.

Now that I sat here alone with only my thoughts to keep me company, it hit me… my water had just broken. I didn’t feel any pain or discomfort yet, only an intense realization that… my water had broken… and sometime within the next twenty-four hours I was going to have a baby. Thoughtlessly, I slapped a hand up over my mouth and whimpered just before the onslaught of tears came. It was finally happening… I was finally going to meet my baby girl. I’d been preparing for this exact moment for nine months and no matter how many books I read, how many articles I obsessed over on Google, and how many tips and tricks that were passed on to me from my aunt, Ms. Joyce, and anyone else with any child birthing experience… absolutely nothing could prepare me for this moment. My heart raced with excitement and anxiety as I continued to cry tears of joy for what was to come.

“Sweetie, sweetheart… oh God, are you okay? Chris told me your water broke… are you feeling any contractions yet?” Ms. Joyce burst through the bathroom door and zoomed over to me, dropping down to her knees in front of me and reaching up to gently grip the sides of my face.

Shaking my head, I focused on catching my breath and calming down enough for the tears to subside. I hadn’t realized it until Ms. Joyce leaned up and meshed her lips against my forehead, but I was trembling from my unnecessary tears.

“Why are you shaking baby? You’re getting yourself all worked up, you have to calm down. It’s okay… I promise you, everything is okay.” The sound of her voice, as usual, did wonders to calm me down. I shut my eyes briefly and allowed her continued soothing tone to lull me until the tears had finally stopped then I took a deep breath through my nose and slowly released it through my mouth. Opening my eyes, the first thing my stare landed on was Chris… he was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at me, wearing an expression I wasn’t sure I’d seen before. I couldn’t tell if he was nervous, scared, or excited… or perhaps it was a combination of all three.

I smiled at him warmly, because I needed to assure him that I was okay “We’re gonna have a baby soon.”

“I know…” He whispered.

“I’m gonna be a mom soon Chris,” My voice cracked from the pressure of the tears rebuilding and Ms. Joyce continued to kneel in front of me, caressing my leg soothingly… but I kept my focus on Chris, “And I’m ready… I’m excited.”

His stare was so intense… I could feel the goosebumps forming against my skin the longer I looked at him. But I never broke that stare… not even when his lips finally curled into the smallest smirk and my heart fluttered from the sight of it.

“Me too. I’ve never been so scared and excited in my life.” He chuckled and suddenly his tiny smirk stretched into a proud grin. That was all I needed… that smile. There was a sudden wave of comfort and relief that washed down from my head to my toes, because he smiled… and that told me that everything was going to be okay.

“Madison and James are over at the house getting prepared to head to the hospital, I called them just a few minutes ago,” Ms. Joyce’s delicate voice snapped me out of that blissful world where only Chris and I existed and I turned my attention to her, “Are you ready to go?”

She too wore a warm and genuine smile that helped to keep me calm and at ease. If everyone around me was going to maintain such a peaceful aura, perhaps this entire process wouldn’t be bad at all…

--

4:01 am… Narrator’s POV:

Holding her breath, Hope squeezed her eyes shut and tuned out the sound of every obnoxious voice around her, claiming that she was okay… that she had this. ‘God, could these people get out of my face, out of my room… hell, out of my life?!’ She thought, ‘This shit hurts!’

Yet another groan fled her lips as she gripped onto the side pole of her bed and held on like her life depended on it. Literally the only thing keeping her from freaking out on the extra bodies around her was the feeling of fingertips slithering strategically through her hair, tickling her scalp in the most soothing way. And that voice… the voice of her personal guardian angel whispering in her ear that he was there… that he had her. Chris had been by her side from the time they left his bathroom at the house, to the fifteen-minute-long trip down the stairs and to the car, to the ride to the hospital, and now… to her slowly dying in this suddenly uncomfortable hospital bed, because surely the baby was trying to simply claw her way out of the front of her stomach.

“Gooooood, Chris… pleeeeease...” She begged… for what, she wasn’t even sure.

“Hope, look at me,” He instructed, gently, yet firmly enough to get her to pry her moist eyes open and stare up into his brilliant gleaming eyes, “What did Dr. Z tell you?”

“Chris…” “Tell me what she told you.”

“Find my image… focus… and breathe.” She repeated the mantra he’d been repeating for the past hour. The imagery, she needed to create it in her mind… any image that erupted emotions strong enough for her to feel in that moment. Then she needed to focus on that moment long enough to take her away from her physical being and the pain… and never forget to breathe. But in the back of her mind, there wasn’t a single image in the world that could make anyone forget about this type of pain.

The contraction was over, the pain subsided momentarily, and Hope kept her eyes locked on Chris’s because she knew this break wouldn’t last long.

“Sy’Diyah, sweetie… you’re doing so good.” Her aunt voiced from the left side of the bed. Chris manned the right side, the side her nurse currently had her facing, because after half an hour facing the other direction she grew uncomfortable and restless and needed to be rotated. Aunt Maddie swept a hand over her back, prompting Hope to shut her eyes briefly to enjoy the calming feeling of the gesture.

“You sure are baby. I admire you for lasting this long without the epidural… I just about rammed the needle into my own back the minute I made it through the doors of the hospital with this one.” Ms. Joyce chuckled softly, nudging her son gently in the arm to indicate that it was he who caused her the most pain out of the two pregnancies she’d endured.

Hope laughed feebly and glanced over at the soon to be grandmother of three “I really don’t know how long I’m gonna last.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get Dr. Z back in here now? All you have to do is say the word…” Chris started, but with one low sigh through her nose he zipped his lips and Hope set her eyes right back on him with a frown.

“I really want to try to go all natural Chris. The pain is bearable…” And just like that, another sweat inducing contraction shut her up immediately and her eyes slammed shut instinctively… as if that would push the pain away.

Aunt Maddie and Ms. Joyce shared a worried glance, both uneasy by the sight of Sy’Diyah fighting through the pain in a way that not even a soldier could handle. But neither could begin to fathom the worry piercing Chris’s heart. It took everything in him not to break down at the bedside because he couldn’t bear watching the love of his life endure so much pain. There was nothing that could have prepared him to witness this. He wished and prayed that by some miracle he could have climbed in that bed and took every ounce of pain for her because this was entirely too much for his heart to handle.

But he stood strong at her side though, completely missing the silent exchange of words between his mother and Sy’Diyah’s aunt that resulted in Ms. Joyce quietly tip toeing out of the room in search of Dr. Zeeta. They were determined to do everything in their power to talk Sy into going through with the epidural.

Chris’s fingers raked through her hair and his eyes danced over her flawless skin coated in the lightest layer of sweat… no matter how ‘bearable’ she claimed these contractions to be, her trembling hand in his grasp and the perspiration on her skin told him otherwise.

“Focus baby, listen to my voice… hold onto it and focus, you got it... and I got you.” He whispered, leaning in close enough to share those encouraging words with only her. She whimpered against the side of his face as he remained pressed against her, but oddly enough it was working… somehow, by the grace of God, it was working. He was painting the imagery right there in her mind with only the sound of his voice and the feeling of him so near. That damned pain was an ugly son of a gun, but the power of their love pouring delicately from his mouth was the greatest thing that she had to hold on to and boy did she grip it and hold on. Before she knew it, the contraction was over, seemingly faster than all the others. Releasing a slow and steady sigh through her slightly parted lips, she opened her eyes and stared up at him as he slowly moved back just enough so they could make eye contact.

“You’re doing beautifully Hope.”

“Tell me that when I’m fully dilated.” They both cracked a smile and he momentarily leaned closer and pressed his lips against her forehead.

“Aww, my darling love birds,” Chris pulled back quickly and turned to face the door of the room, smirking at Dr. Zeeta who walked calmly behind his flustered mother, “How we doing mama bear?”

“Good, I guess.” Sy’Diyah replied, greeting the doctor with a soft smile.

“You guess? Well from what I’m hearing, you’re in here battling those contractions like Wonder Woman.” Dr. Zeeta laughed, making her way to the counter in the corner of the room to grab a pair of gloves. Sy’Diyah knew what that meant... she was about to check her cervix, since it’d been about an hour since the last check. And this time… she prayed she was closer to ten centimeters.

“Zeeta, I’ve told her over and over again that there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting the epidural. I just hate to see her in all this pain.” Maddie said, worry lines creased deeply into her forehead.

“Now, now Madison… I completely understand how uncomfortable it may be to witness her enduring such discomfort. However, once a mother creates her birthing plan in her mind, it often tends to be a bit difficult to reroute that. Isn’t that right, Ms. Sy’Diyah?”

On the tip of her tongue were the words ‘hell no, give me the needle… now!’ but Hope had this determination in her heart, this powerful drive to push forward for as long as she could with no medical assistance. But let it be known that her vision was drifting… the pain was quickly creating a totally different image in her mind. An image… that included that needle.

“Yes ma’am,” She verbalized, though she could definitely feel that image becoming more pronounced by the minute, “I don’t think I’m ready for an epidural just yet.”

Chris eased off to the side near his mother, smirking inwardly as he stared at his woman and admired every ounce of strength she possessed… and boy was there a lot of it. His smirk was gone within seconds as he watched Dr. Z situate Hope in a way that she could get two fingers wedged between her legs so that she could check for further dilation. It was a part of the process, he knew that, but he hated the sight of the frown on her face. She said it didn’t hurt, but there was some type of pressure that was uncomfortable… he didn’t like that.

“Six centimeters Missy,” Dr. Zeeta called out, swiftly pulling her gloved hand away and disposing of it in a nearby waste bin, “You know what that means?”

Hope rolled her eyes playfully and smiled “Even if the contractions pick up?”

“You know I hate to say it, but even if the contractions pick up… that is exactly what we want.” The doctor explained. Now all they had to do was carefully help Hope out of the bed.

 4:45 am…

They stopped to take a break at the end of the hall, or really for Hope to grip onto Chris so that she could breathe through this contraction. Her face was buried between his shoulder and his chest and in that instance, she adored his height more than she ever had because he gave her ample opportunity to grip and snuggle, which was exactly what she needed to do to push through.

“Mmmmm.” She moaned against him. There was a hand swirling against her back and another two pairs of hands that were currently crossed over the chest of her best friend who stood behind her and slightly to the left… giving her a full visual of Hope’s discomfort, and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Dez, why are you frowning like that?” Tawny asked, hand still swirling comfortingly against her sisters back as she continued to groan lightly into Chris’s chest.

“I don’t like this man… at all. Sy, you don’t even look like yourself… these contractions look like they’re taking over your whole life.” Destani fussed, frown deepening by the second. Thankfully that last one was officially over and Hope couldn’t help but snicker into Chris’s shirt before finally pulling back and glancing over her shoulder at her very concerned friend.

“Well thanks Destani, I’m assuming that’s just code for ‘you look like crap’.”

The girls all giggled quietly amongst themselves and even Chris chuckled a bit himself.

“Actually to be in active labor, you look pretty fabulous to me.” Tawny said.

“Thank you baby sis.” Hope smiled.

“You ready to keep going?” Chris asked, staring down at Hope who’d completely pulled away from him and reclaimed her position at his side, left arm hooked with his right. Her brows jerked upward as a response and she released a gust of frustration through her nose as he took the first step and she followed, wearily.

“Wasn’t nobody tryna say you look like shit,” Destani grumbled under her breath, arms still crossed like a pouting child, “You just look really worn out.”

“Aka… crap.” Hope said, glancing back at Destani just in time to catch the tail end of the roll of her eyes.

“Everyone is so excited to meet Cailah, Sy.” Tawny blurted, because she could already tell Destani was fully prepared for an unnecessary back and forth argument and she knew her sister didn’t have the energy to entertain that.

“And they’ll surely get to meet her soon, if my cervix will just cooperate.”

“I’m just surprised your water broke so quick. I swear, just last night none of us thought it was gonna happen and I just knew you would end up eventually being induced.” Destani chimed in.

“And the next thing we knew in the wee hours of the morning, all the lights were coming on in the house and Auntie was running around screaming about getting to the hospital, pronto!” Tawny giggled recalling the sight of her aunt bursting into the guest room she’d been occupying with Nalay. Tameka and Destani both occupied Hope’s room… they just so happened to already be at the house from the day they’d spent trying to induce Hope’s labor, so they all eventually crashed in the nearest beds they could find.

“Wait a minute…” Destani slowed down in her tracks and eyed the back of Chris’s head suspiciously, “The last thing we suggested before ya’ll left the house was for Chris to try to help get the ball rolling…”

Chris stared straight ahead, never bothering to slow down the pace that Hope had just picked up… one, because he was fully committed to working on her time throughout this entire process, and two… he did not want to engage in the conversation he knew was to come. There was complete silence between the group, with the exception of their light footsteps padding down the partially empty hall.

The two girls were honestly very curious to know if it was indeed the groups suggestion that landed Hope in the hospital, now just a few centimeters from giving birth. But the dotting couple made sure to keep their lips zipped because neither had any interest in divulging their night time activities.

“So neither one of ya’ll have anything to say?” Destani probed. And just as Hope went to part her lips to deliver a hefty ‘no, now shut up!’ to her best friend, yet another contraction rendered her speechless. Wordlessly Chris stopped in the middle of the hall and gently gripped her arm, leaning back against the nearest wall and tugging her along with him. She bent over and hunkered down against his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut so she could conjure up her calming image.

“Ya’ll really did do the do, huh? And you broke her water… you damn heathens!” Destani whispered harshly, as if speaking any louder would disrupt her friend’s concentration. Tawny giggled behind the palm of her hand and caressed Hope’s back, while Chris simply glared at her while holding onto the sides of Hope’s belly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dez.” He muttered.

“Oh you don’t? So her water just conveniently broke all on its own, just hours after what we discussed in the den?”

Finally pushing through the last second of that horrendous contraction, Hope kept her body relaxed in Chris’s hold, but turned her head to glare at Destani “No, now shut up!”

 6:27 am…

Chris sat huddled in a chair not even a full foot away from Hope’s bed, staring at her. She was fast asleep now and he couldn’t have been more thankful for that. She’d been in more pain than she could comprehend for the past few hours and finally, with a bright red face full of tears, she cracked from the pressure of the excruciating pain and hollered for the epidural. The contractions were rolling through more intense than ever, what felt like every 5 seconds and she simply couldn’t take it anymore.

He wanted to throw up at the sight and sound of her crying like that, but again… he refused to leave her side. Especially since she held onto his hand with a vice grip that he couldn’t get out of if he wanted to.

Now she was resting, or at least that’s what he hoped because she was trembling so hard beneath the three thin blankets the nurses had tucked her under. As he sat there, butt numbing from the extremely uncomfortable chair he occupied, Chris could feel the exhaustion creeping through him. He wanted so desperately to shut his eyes for a while and succumb to the sleep he knew his body needed, seeing as he’d only slept for about an hour the night before after putting in some serious work with his girlfriend. He smiled at the thought. What they did in his bedroom only hours ago was truly something magical and his only regret was that he’d waited that long to reclaim his home within her. He didn’t want to focus on the memory of it for too long, because then he’d have a problem in his pants… and there were too many people floating in and out of the room for him to have to explain that to. But he knew he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t, hands down, the best love making he’d ever experienced in his life.

Suddenly a hand gently collided with his shoulder and he flinched hard in his seat, eyes shooting open abruptly which he didn’t even remember shutting in the first place. He heard the sound of muffled laughter before he could fully register that it was Hope’s dad who’d startled him and apparently, he thought it was hilarious that he’d almost given the boy a full heart attack.

“I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to startle you. You were sitting here smiling with your eyes closed… didn’t think you were asleep.” James cackled as quietly as he could without disturbing his sleeping daughter… but boy, that really had him cracking up.

Chris, who refrained from rolling his eyes, forged a soft chuckle and pushed himself to sit up straighter in his seat “Sorry about that James. I didn’t even realize I dozed off.”

“Aww baby, you haven’t gotten any rest,” His mom said, making her presence known as she teetered in behind James, “They have that little pull out bed over there on the couch. Why don’t you get yourself some rest? That baby isn’t coming anytime soon.”

This time, Chris really did roll his eyes, playfully of course “Ma, that’s not a bed… and it doesn’t pull out anywhere. I’m alright.”

“It’s not?” Making her way across the room, Ms. Joyce stopped once she reached the couch and tugged one of the cushions up from it, frowning when she realized there was nothing more to it other than the base of the couch.

“They still haven’t bothered to upgrade any of these maternity rooms, huh? I still remember the day Sy’Diyah was born and I curled up as best I could on the hardest couch I think I’d ever touched in Faith’s room. Take it from me Chris, you’re better off right where you are man.”

Chris smiled and stared at James for a moment, to this day not completely sure when or if he would ever breakdown from his constant mentioning of his first love. Maybe it was just easier for him to talk about the good memories of her openly rather than bottling them all in. Whatever the case, Chris wasn’t sure… and he wasn’t too keen on the idea of being around if the poor man ever broke down.

“Definitely can’t say the same for these beds though,” Ms. Joyce chimed in, “Sy looks like she’s having the best sleep of her life in this therapeutic looking bed.”

They all laughed quietly amongst themselves and for perhaps the hundredth time in the past half an hour, Chris found himself gawking at Hope unintentionally.

“Why is she shaking like that?” He finally asked just above a whisper… and totally against his will. He’d meant for that to be a thought.

“It could be a side effect of the epidural… or from all those fluids they got running through her. It could be anything really, but it’s completely normal baby.” Ms. Joyce explained.

He had no choice but to believe what she’d said, because it was indeed his mother who’d explained that… she wouldn’t make that up.

With a sigh Chris slumped back in his chair and his gaze fluttered around the sleeping beauty, before finally landing on her father who’d taken a gentle seat on the edge of her bed.

“I can’t believe you guys are making me a grandfather.” He muttered with a smile. James’ gaze was casted on his daughter and he gawked at her, still truly not believing that within the next couple of hours he’d be meeting his very first granddaughter… he still couldn’t fathom the thought.

“Thank you for this,” James continued on after almost a full minute. Chris only stared at him, curious to know what he meant, but respectful enough to allow him to continue speaking at his own pace, “For everything you’ve done for her in the time that you’ve known her… and I know it’s been a long time.”

“No problem James.” Chris responded quietly, almost in a whisper.

“I know…” James started, hesitantly at first just before turning his head and locking eyes with Chris who was already staring at him wearily, “It hasn’t been the easiest road for the two of you. You have had a rather… unconventional relationship, to say the least.”

Chris cracked a nervous smile, but only once he’d gotten confirmation to do so after seeing the smile on James’ face.

“But you keep her happy Chris… you keep a smile on my baby’s face. You’ve given her love that no one, not even myself or her aunt, will ever be able to compare to. I understand that there have been moments between the two of you, some not so great moments when perhaps… she wasn’t always smiling, she wasn’t always happy, and your relationship just about didn’t survive. But… you two always managed to find a way back to each other through it all, because that’s what you do when you’re in love. And even as her father, who am I to interrupt that? There was even a point where I couldn’t help but envy you, because once she allowed me into her life and I got to witness firsthand the way her world works… I saw the love shared between you two, and it frightened me. I didn’t think I would be able to find my place in her life because apparently, you’d already come along and taken up all the love she had to give. I didn’t think she’d have enough for me… I thought she’d allowed you to fill the void I knew I should have been filling from the day her mother brought her into this world. I also thought that maybe the two of you were too young to be that in love, but I knew there was no way I could even attempt to slow it down because I simply didn’t have the right to.”

James’ eyes danced back over to his daughter and he watched her for a moment, silently bothered by the sight of her shivering lightly beneath the linen… but he was accustomed to it. He’d witnessed it twice before, but he had to admit it was still a bit difficult to see firsthand.

“Who was I to try to intervene? I fell in love with her mother the very first time I laid eyes on her and I was only a kid myself when it happened, but I dared anyone in the world to try to take that away from me. If I didn’t have anything else in this world, I had Faith and she had my heart… she held it completely captive and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” His speech had Chris utterly speechless, because he honestly wasn’t prepared for it today… of all days. But what had his brows raising with surprise was the sound of James sniffling quietly… and the sight of him quickly swiping a hand beneath his left eye.

“It’s a once in a lifetime experience, really… when you find your soulmate.” Chris stared at him, long and hard… completely in awe. If he was hearing him correctly, he’d just openly admitted that it was Hope’s mother who did, and still to this day, hold his heart. He’d gotten remarried to Diana and surely he loved her, otherwise the marriage and Tawny would have never happened… but his soul was directly connected to Hope’s mother… now and in the afterlife. The thought alone sent chills straight up Chris’s spine.

He’d almost forgotten all about his mother’s presence in the room, until she crept quietly alongside James with a box of Kleenex in hand and a warm smile on her face. James briefly turned his attention to Joyce and smiled in return, graciously plucking a few of the Kleenex out of the box to dry up his moistened cheeks.

“Thank you for all that you’ve done for my daughter Chris. Thank you for showering her with the love that she constantly deserves and for being there in her corner for all these years. And thank you Joyce for strategically living in that house all those years ago when Madison moved in.” The trio laughed quietly amongst themselves, but quickly turned their attention to the door that smoothly slid open. In walked Dr. Zeeta with her exuberant aura and a beaming smile on her face.

She stopped abruptly just feet inside the door and eyed the three of them for a moment, her smile steadily widening “My, my, my… there is a whole lot of love spreading in this room at this very moment. I feel, overwhelmed by it. This little one doesn’t know what she has in store for her… her village is mighty, mighty strong. Quite phenomenal.”

She continued her journey on into the room and in a split-second Chris’s gaze swept past his mother who was still smiling… and she winked, right at him. His face was heating up and he felt flustered so he looked down into his lap, because he suddenly felt too overwhelmed by James’ speech to do much else. He hadn’t even noticed it, but Hope was awake now because it was time to check her cervix for about the hundredth time… at least that’s what it felt like to Chris anyway. His patience was slowly wearing thin and he was really starting to believe this little girl was never going to come…

“Well mama bear, I hope you’re ready to push,” Dr. Zeeta swiftly tugged her hand back from between Hope’s raised and parted legs and grinned, “You’re fully dilated.”

 7:15 am…

The preparations didn’t take long… no longer than half an hour at most. There seemed to be a sudden hoard of people bursting in and out of the room and Chris stood huddled in a corner near the head of Hope’s bed, overwhelmed by it all. Someone rolled in a tiny little bassinet just for the baby that he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of… he really couldn’t believe she would be here any minute now.

His nerves had been all over the place in the past thirty minutes, especially after his mother and James had left the room and Aunt Maddie took their place. Hope had specifically requested her to be at her side along with Chris, who was now beginning to hope and pray he didn’t pass out before she even started to push.

“Charlie,” Her sultry voice called out to him and he floated to her almost magnetically, “Why are you standing all the way up there?”

He was indeed tucked all the way into the corner of the head of the bed, hoping to somehow blend in with the wall.

“Sorry…” He muttered… his voice cracked and he hoped she hadn’t noticed. He was truly on the verge of a break down. Hope peered up at him, somehow managing to smile through the intense pressure bearing down on her abdomen. It was the most uncomfortable sensation she’d ever felt in her life and she thanked God she’d agreed to go through with the epidural at the last minute… she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to feel the pressure along with the pain.

“Aren’t you gonna hold my hand?” She lifted her right hand from her side and waited for him to grab it and when he finally did, his racing heart and high level of anxiety slowed and dropped immediately. Her touch alone calmed him, though he shouldn’t have been the one worked up in the first place… he wasn’t about to push a whole human being out of his crotch!

Gripping gently onto her hand, his gaze swept around the room and he absorbed Dr. Zeeta near the bottom end of the bed with several nurses surrounding her, prepping her for her fifth delivery of the day… and it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet! He glanced at Hope’s neat pile of belongings in the corner on the couch, the top zip of ‘the bag’ pushed open to reveal a soft pink and gray polka dot receiving blanket… the blanket she insisted on bringing Cailah home in. He smiled… then swept his gaze over to the fancy looking bassinet closer to the door. He’d been staring at it since it’d been wheeled into the room and he had to remind himself to look away after a while, or Hope would surely notice his odd behavior and question him. He couldn’t help it though… it was so intriguing. Finally, he faced forward at almost the same exact moment as Aunt Maddie, who’d been busy chatting with one of the nurses she worked with. She gazed at him for a moment, with a look on her face that he couldn’t quite comprehend. There was strength in her eyes, intensity… and when she smiled, she looked so proud.

“I’m proud of you two, you know?” She stated… because it sounded more like a powerful statement than a question. Aunt Maddie’s brilliant eyed stare roved from Chris to Hope and she quickly swept her left hand into her grasp and glanced back up at Chris, “Chris, my sister would be in complete bliss if she were here right now. Well, who am I fooling… she is here, right here at her baby girls side coaching her on. I know she is. I can feel her.”

Her right hand suddenly flew up to cover her mouth briefly and she shook her head with disbelief as her eyes glazed over “She’s so proud of you both. And today, Sy’Diyah, your mama is right here with you… she’s gonna make sure you deliver a beautiful, strong, healthy baby girl. You hear me?”

Hope sniffled herself as she stared up at her aunt lovingly, almost in a trance by the sound of her empowering words. She almost forgot she was even perched up on this bed getting ready to push out a whole baby… until that immense pressure ripped through her abdomen for the umpteenth time, forcing her to shut her eyes and breathe deep through her mouth.

“I hear you Auntie.” She whispered breathlessly.

Chris had been so caught up in staring at Aunt Maddie, replaying her every word that poured straight into his heart… he nearly missed the most important words of his entire life.

“Push Sy’Diyah!”

He was yanked harshly back into reality when he felt a crippling pain in his left hand, the hand that Hope was holding onto, and squeezing, for dear life. He didn’t know whether to stare down at her or try to get a peek at the action happening on Dr. Zeeta’s end. He was quite positive the moment he caught sight of even a splotch of blood, he would pass out… so he quickly decided to stick to looking down at Hope.

Her face was the brightest red he’d ever seen and the veins in her forehead bulged with the strength of a warrior as she pushed for the ten seconds that her aunt and the lingering nurses counted.

“Good girl, you’re doing excellent. Catch your breath, settle your mind… and push.” Dr. Zeeta instructed like the remarkable professional she was. Again, Hope bore down into her lower half as best she could with her eyes squeezed shut and every ounce of her focus on getting this baby out. Her lopsided bun was toppled to the right side of her head and straggling pieces of her hair were beginning to stick to her neck with desperation. Her grunts and groans held Chris captive because he simply could not believe this was happening… and he was right there to witness it.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break… darling when I tell you, you are doing so good. Two pushes in and her head is just about out… I’m proud of you honey.” Dr. Zeeta coached, her smile reaching all the way up to her eyes which was the only part of her face to be seen behind her mask.

Hope nodded her head quickly as she wheezed heavily in and out of her mouth. The exhaustion was beginning to set in, though there was a rush of adrenaline offsetting it. She continued to feel the strongest urge to bear down, but the doctor had told her to take a break, so that’s exactly what she did.

Unconsciously, Chris raised his left hand and swept it up over Hope’s forehead, gently pulling back a few of the strands of hair clinging to her skin. She turned her head to face him with the smallest smirk and he nibbled into his bottom lip as he watched her.

No words were exchanged between the two, but their eyes spoke volumes… until Dr. Zeeta broke their silent conversation by directing Hope to bear down and push for another ten count. And push she did, though she could feel herself weakening by the second. It was her determination shining through though, the determination to deliver her baby safely and to hear her cry for the first time… Hope craved that. According to Dr. Zeeta’s analysis, just a few more pushes, and she would finally come out. Hope didn’t want to take anymore breaks, no matter how many times the doctor suggested it. So she pushed, and pushed, and bore down… and pushed.

It was a tradition of Dr. Zeeta’s, primarily with first time mothers, to allow them that once in a lifetime experience to be the very first to physically hold their child… to create an instant bond with their creation by gripping them in a way that only a mother could. It was an opportunity for mommy to give their baby their very first ounce of encouragement. With proper instructions from Dr. Zeeta, Hope finally released the bone crushing grip she had on her aunt’s hand and Chris’s, and she dropped her hand down past her bloated belly to touch her child… for the very first time. As many tears as Hope had cried in all her life, never had she felt a surge of emotions strong enough to compare to this moment and these tears. The feeling of the tiniest body snuggled securely in her hands, depending on only her to pull her to her final destination… her heart almost couldn’t take it. Dr. Zeeta didn’t do much other than ensure the baby remained secure in her mother’s grasp and she herself grinned like a proud mother as she watched Hope pull her baby up onto her stomach.

“Oh my God… oh God…” She panted breathlessly, tossing her head back with finality against the stark white pillow and slamming her eyes shut. Then she heard it… that cry. The most beautiful sound she’d ever heard, ringing out throughout the room, demanding the attention of everyone in the near vicinity. Her baby’s wail sounded like the purest magic to her ears and for a moment, it was only Hope and Cailah crying together, bonding in a way that no one else would be able to.

Then there was her aunt, weeping frantically at her side as she gazed down at her niece and her great-niece. Aunt Maddie’s heart was filled to the brim with love and she struggled to contain herself.

And last but not least… the father… Christopher. He was sucked into a daze, some type of out of body experience he didn’t even understand. He stood there protectively at Hope’s right side and stared unblinking at his daughter. The doctors were moving in now and chaos seemed to engulf the room because of all the movement and shuffling bodies. But his eyes remained glued and unblinking on his daughter. He was crying, he could feel the moisture coating his cheeks, but his expression was blank and shocked. It wasn’t until a male nurse crept up at his side, summoning him to come cut the cord, that he finally blinked and turned to the man. Chris nodded his head to acknowledge he’d heard the nurse and he was overjoyed to be drafted into such an honorable role.

Now that he’d taken his first blink, his eyes didn’t seem to want to stop as they fought to clear his tears so he could see straight and not cut the wrong thing. Dr. Zeeta tugged her mask down to her chin and pat the young man on the shoulder, guiding him and his hands to exactly where they needed to be to get the job done.

Chris gripped the scissors carefully in both hands and after two unsuccessful snips against the slippery cord, it finally snapped and the moment the utensils landed safely back in the hands of the doctor, his bottom lip quivered on cue… and his tears began to flow like a raging river.  

He whimpered as he wept and nearly crumpled right down to his knees, until Aunt Maddie noticed him emotionally caving in and she rushed around the chaos to grip him up by his shoulders.

“I got you baby. Auntie’s got you, it’s alright.” She tugged him in close and hugged him tight as he gripped onto her. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck and cried like a baby… like his baby. Her boisterous cries were still the main soundtrack in the room and he quickly remembered to get it together so he wouldn’t miss a second of her. Slowly lifting his head up, Chris turned to face that fancy bassinet in the corner of the room and he fixed his eyes on Cailah’s tiny body. She was flailing under the warm lights attached to the top of the bassinet as the doctor’s continued to clean her up. Chris could feel his lips curling up into a smile as he watched her closely… in his mind, he’d already deemed her a daddy’s girl.

“Hope,” He sniffled, breaking himself out of yet another trance thanks to the newest love of his life, “Hope, she’s perfect.”

He continued to grip onto Aunt Maddie and they both turned to face the fatigued mother, but the bliss was only short lived. The smile quickly dropped from Chris’s face and suddenly he found his strength again, politely excusing himself from Aunt Maddie to move closer to Hope’s bedside. Her eyes were closed and her head slumped to one side… and she hadn’t bothered to respond to a thing he’d just said.

“Hope?” He called out to her… but again, she failed to respond. His heart dropped to his feet as he scrambled to her side. Why wasn’t she responding?

“Hope?” There was more urgency in his voice and he could even feel her aunt pulling at his side, trying to get a look at her niece who wasn’t even budging.

“Sy’Diyah?” Aunt Maddie called out. There was no way she could be asleep at a time like this… they knew she was drained from the ordeal, but… no… why wasn’t she responding?

And when Dr. Zeeta’s nurses stepped in front of the two, asking them to please leave the room… he could feel the blackout sneaking up on him and this one, he knew he wouldn’t be able to control. Why wasn’t she responding? 

TBC...

[creolehellokitty]

😂🙄

Chris unfollowed rih and mdollas 😫 poor tink