#chris pontius headcanon

[dangerehrenn]

duddddeeee okay so imagine reader is put in a kinda sexy outfit for a prank and the members are all just flustered as fuck while talking and teasing her

i LOVE this

fem!reader, kinda went off track lol sorryyyy

when you fluster (?) the guys

you’re wearing a nurse outfit you found in your trailer

but the skirt is far too short and the shirt is a tad bit too tight

you know you were put in this outfit to be a ‘distraction’

you don’t mind it though

all eyes are on you and you’re loving it

you’re not sure who’s idea it was, your bet is on spike

regardless of who’s idea it was, it’s getting lots of positive reactions

you casually walk up to the boys who are all sat in an almost circle, talking about stunts they have to do or have done in the past

knoxville is speaking as you walk towards them but he instantly loses his train of thought

not seeing you, bam starts to make fun of johnny for it while taking a sip of his beer

but chokes slightly as he notices you, cheeks going red as you give him a knowing look

“where’s this little get up from?” chris says

“dunno, it was in my trailer with a note saying for me to put it on”

“ok, who’s idea was this?” dave says after looking you up and down, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact

steveo wolf whistles you, telling you to spin

“yeah y/n, spin�� wee man says

you do a spin and you hear murmurs of “damn” and “holy shit”

suddenly ehren has to excuse himself, causing the boys to erupt into laughter

“where you going ehren?” bam shouts

“no where!! it- it’s unrelated!”

you take a seat next to preston and ryan

and you fully realise that all your friends have a staring problem

and they all have slight blushes on their faces

it boosts your ego though, so you cant really complain

“you ever find out who left you that outfit? tell me, i wanna thank them personally” knoxville says with a smirk and a laugh

[abellmunsonmovie]

I feel like if Eddie was alive in the late 90s and early 2000s he’d love Jackass. Also like what if Corroded Coffin got famous or whatever and they were a special guest on there?!?!

“Hey my names, Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!” -Eddie before cutting to wee man getting shot out of a canon

[jackassbrainrot]

reader who’s kind of like pamela anderson😳? popular for being a bombshell and her style and also just happens to be one of the cuntiest members of jackass

a/n: I have to many thoughts to make it into a cohesive fic sorry but!! got about a million hcs for you! hope you like em! she is everything I want to be

bombshell jackass member!!

you met spike while you were working on a movie together

you became friends quickly and started hanging out outside of work

he told you about a new tv show he was working on, asking you if you'd like to be involved in a few skits

of course you said yes

as soon as you walk on set, all eyes are on you

everyone starts bombarding spike with questions

"what's she doing here?" "how'd you get her to agree to this?" "she's out of our budget!"

the initial shock is quickly replaced by their shock at how willing you are to try any stunt

tremaine loves how much footage he's getting out of you

"I think we have a new main star"

knoxville doesn't even get offended, just scared that you're going to die as you step on a skateboard. in heels. blindfolded.

you get absolutely destroyed the first time you try that

they all think they just killed the fucking movie star

but you get up, laughing your ass off

"I HAVE to try that again!"

the guys are both scared and kind of turned on by you

the media is even more scared and turned on

everyone being confused as to why an accomplished actress is running around pulling pranks on random people

soooo many headlines

being besties with stephanie !!

and hating that you became "the jackass girl" without her after her injury

doing gnarly tricks in full glam

being the best and worst role model for young girls

showing that you can be both feminine and badass but also influencing them to do dumb shit

always outshining the guys at premiers and parties

the guys being really protective of you whenever interviewers are being sexist

you still do other movies and shows but you always come back to your little band of idiots

they're like your guard dogs

who needs a bodyguard when you have a bunch of professional idiots that don't mind getting hurt around you all the time

[johnnyknoxvilleswife]

Jackass's own it girl (she is a teensy bit of an alcoholic)

-

totally about to write a City Girl x Knoxville Fic

[babybammargera]

Bunny and Baby Lifeguards on duty

Party boy x fem reader (early jackass era)

You’re sitting on the floor of the van brainstorming ideas for skits with the boys and Jeff. Normally you’d get thrown into something chaotic with Ryan or maybe Ehren but apparently, fans like it when you interact with Party Boy. Jeff looks at you, “How do you feel about doing the lifeguard bit with Pontius?” You shrug and look up from your iPod, “depends on the context. “Tony Hawk just bought a house and the pool is currently empty. And we somehow convinced him to film a bit with Bam, Dave, Steveo, Ehren, and Weeman where they're skating the pool basically slamming into each other trying to skate and you two get to shoot them with paintball guns and look pretty in bikinis. You in?” You crack a smile, “Chris is prettier than me and pulls off a bikini better but I'm down, Bam and Sleepo have been pranking me a ton this week so I'm ready to get them back.”

The next day the crew arrives at the house and everyone is setting up and getting ready. You had already gotten dressed for the day, A black bikini top with the jackass logo on it and short black shorts to match. You touch up your makeup and hair in the mirror then head outside. Pontius bounces up full of energy wearing a full cheetah print bikini with matching bunny ears, “Hey if there's time could you braid my hair in two fishtail braids it's fucking hot.” You nod and sit down on one of the pool chairs Jeff had brought for the bit, “Pigtails?” He settles on the ground between your feet smiling, “You know me so well.” Despite how long his hair is you make quick work of the task and finish them just as Jeff gathers everyone up for filming, “Okay so here's the paintball guns I'll let you two figure out how you wanna introduce the bit but we've settled on Pool of Pain for the name.” he runs to his director's chair and sits down. Pontius strikes a “sexy” pose as Spike starts filming, “Hi I'm Bunny the lifeguard and I'm here with my friend and the true eye candy of jackass y/n and she's helping me on lifeguard duty today at the pool.”You look over your sunglasses at the camera and smile, “This is the Pool of Pain and trust me there's gonna be a lot of it.” You turn as the camera pans to the other boys and nail Steveo right in the leg with a brightly colored paintball. One by one they drop into the pool narrowly avoiding each other at first but then quickly beginning to collide as they try to avoid the paintballs. Ryan is the first to bail scrambling out of the pool tossing the battered-up skateboard he probably borrowed from Bam to the side, “All right I'm out!” You crack up at the sight, “Come on Ry can't take the heat?” He flips you off and lays in the grass. Soon the others follow suit one by one crawling out of the empty pool with various bruises and scrapes splattered with neon paint. Steveo gets close to the camera wiping his face with his shirt, “That fucking sucked dude.” Jeff giggling behind the monitors calls it a wrap. Adjusting your top you glance at your partner in crime for the day, “Ya know if you take away the paintballs it looked pretty fun.” Tony walks by and puts his helmet on your head, “Go skate if you want.” You make a face and set the sweaty helmet to the side before picking up Bam and Steveo's discarded boards, “care to join the party Pontus?” He grins and takes off his bunny ears, “hell yeah!”

[glitterinmyveinss]

// say yes to heaven //

johnny knoxville x reader

authors note: Johnny goes by PJ, some things might be innacurate apologies in advance, mentions of homophobic slurs (i can say it)

❥༄ It's a warm july evening, the sunset sky looks like cotton candy, the kids are still out playing, and me and pj are on the steps of his trailer drinking some cold beers. i've known pj ever since me n my mom first moved to Tennesse at age 5. i ponder back on that moment, the memory still fresh in my mind.

❥༄ "y/n! get your boxes from the back of the uhaul girl!" my mother shouted. i sighed and made my way from the empty field to the back of the van we came in while my mother put her belongings inside our new home. a boy around my age with dark chocolate hair, warm brown eyes, and a horrendous haircut came up to me. "are you my new neighbors?" he asked enthusiastically. i nodded shyly. "cool! i'm pj by the way. my trailers right there." i glanced over to where he was pointing. i noticed a brown trailer with white stripes, white steps, and various beer cans and cigarette butts littering the patch of grass in front. i turned back to him and introduced myself back. "my names y/n. my parents divorced so we moved here." "mine are divorced too! wanna be friends?" we've been inseparable ever since.

❥༄ i set down my can with a sigh and put my hands in my hair. i've lived in the same trailer ever since, things never really got better for me and my mom. i started working at the local jcpennys working the beauty department but that's it, and Pjs been working with his dad at his auto repair shop ever since we were 13. pj turned to look at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes fixated on me. "what's troublin' you doll?" i picked my head up with a sad smile. i loved when he called me that. "whens it gonna get better peej?" i let out a dry chuckle. "i mean are we just gonna stay in this town our whole lives? living pay check to pay check?" he huffed and turned away from me. "i don't know y/n...why are you bringing this up?" "because i don't want that to be my life pj. maybe it was good for our parents but...don't you want different?" he took another sip from his can and a long drag from his cigarette and was quiet for a while. "of course i want different but it's not that simple y/n...plus the world needs workers like us and our parents anyway." i couldnt belive what he was saying. it was so out of character for him. he was never one to conform to society despite us growing up in the south where you'd get called a fag for just about anything. but people didn't care when it came to pj. he could be wearing a tutu and still look cool. that's why i didn't understand why he was giving up his future to stay in a town like this when the world had so much more to offer him, to offer us. "you know, i don't get you sometimes pj." i threw my can on the porch and sat up. "when are you gonna wake up y/n?" he shouted at me. i looked at him wint utter confusion painted on my face. he stared back at me with those piercing dark eyes. anytime i looked into them, it was like i was stuck in place, and like the rest of the world was no more, just me and pj. "w-what do you mean?" i spoke. he scoffed at me and continued, still shouting. "do you think it's that easy? that we can just leave this all behind and start a new life like that?" i huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, "that's not what i meant and you know it. i just meant that we both have dreams pj. what about your writing?" he turned away from me and shook his head, his eyes were even darker now due to his mood. i noticed there were imprints on his can due to his grip on it. "what about my writing y/n? you heard my dad." a while ago, pj shared with his dad his dreams of being a writer, and how he wanted to write for this magazine in LA, just to get his foot out the door. his dad didn't take it well at all and said he better get the wrench he asked for because writing won't pay the bills. i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. pj got up to stomp his cigarette out. when he was done he locked eyes with me. he stared at me with such intensity, it made my knees buckle and my stomach flip. maybe it's a good thing he wore shades 99.9% of the time. i wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him, let him know that anyone who doubted him didn't know what they were talking about. that me and him could make it on our own. but we were just friends. and he was even more stubborn drunk than he was sober. he turned to go inside then stopped. "you better get home y/n...it's getting dark." i felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, like bees in the summer time. this wasn't the first time we fought like this, but it's the first time he didn't invite me in afterwards. usually he'd say something along the lines of sorry, or how he has some left over apple pie he needs help eating, really he would say any excuse. but this time, it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. "you're a coward philip and you know it." i shouted. "you have just as much potential as anyone else in this world to do something great, but you're scared!" he stayed with his back towards me, his fists clenched and his head low. "leave y/n."

❥༄ i stared at him until my vision became blurry with tears, which didn't take long. i've always been emotional. i ran away from him, in the direction of our old elementary. i always went there when things became too much to handle and i just needed somewhere to escape to. once i got there i sat on the old rusty swings that squeaked each time you swayed. i felt like shit. maybe i was too hard on pj. it's just that all i wanted was for me and him to have a good future. maybe the reason why i got so mad was because i imagined our futures would be us as lovers, not best friends. i wish i brought one of those beers before i left. i heard rustling coming from my left side and when i turned to look, i saw pj. i turned away and stared at the ground. it was quiet for a while while he sat on the swing beside me. "i'm sorry doll. i didn't mean to yell at you like that, you know how i get when i drink coors." i began to sob as i spoke, "no peej i'm sorry, i was too hard on you." i put my head in my hands and hid my face. pjs eyes scrunched up as he began laughing at me. "oh come on y/n, no need to bring out the water works. we're all good girl" he moved his hand and began rubbing my back. i sniffled and picked my head up, turning to him with a small smile that he returned.

❥༄ it was like that for a while. just me and pj swaying back and forth, till he spoke up. "you know i'm not a coward y/n..." i faced him and frantically began explaining myself. "i know pj i'm sorry it's j-" he cut me off. "the only reason why i'm not doing what i want is because... i wanna keep you close to me." i stayed staring at him. my eyes wider than usual, and my lips tucked between my teeth. "the magazine i wanna write for is based in LA. that means i would have to move there." i remained quiet. he turned to look at me. "come on y/n say some-" it was probably the alcohol more than me, but out of no where, i decided to kiss him. his lips were warm snd soft, i could still taste the cigarettes and coors on his breath. i felt euphoric and nauseous all at once. i pulled away awkwardly and faced him. "i'm sorry peej, i don't know-" he cupped the side of my face and pulled me in for a second kiss. after a minute we pulled away, but we were stuck staring at eachother, like one would disappear if the other dared to look away. "i'll go with you." i spoke, barely above a whisper. pj scrunched his face in confusion. "pardon?" i rolled my eyes at him. sometimes he was such an airhead. "i'll go with you to LA. just say the word and i'll go pj." he stared at me with a goofy crooked smile and picked me up from the swing. i squealed as he threw me over his shoulder. "let's start packing then. we'll get the first flight out as soon as we're done." even though i was upside down and felt dizzy, i couldn't be happier.

[lilithknoxville]

Only Girl In Jackass Moodboard

she’s definitely the most rough and tumble of the group. she’ll eat shit falling off her skateboard, and she’ll stand right back up with a big smile on her face (blood streaking down her chin from her busted lip)

takes no shit, but will dish pranks and bullying right back out to the boys

is childhood friends with bam and ryan, and moved to california with them for jackass

a hell of a skater. isn’t as good as bam, but she’s just right underneath him in talent

LIVES in vans. has about forty pairs of vans in her closet, all different varieties of wear and tear (her oldest pair is from back when she lived in pennsylvania. she refuses to get rid of them - says they’re her good luck charms)

constantly has a cigarette in her mouth, and a spare pack in her flannel pocket. she’s forever smoking. follow the cigarette butts, they’ll lead you to her.

she wouldn’t date any of the jackass boys, but if she were to, it would more than likely be bam or ryan. they’re the only two who know her fully, and the only ones she’d give the time of day to in that way.

april LOVES her!!! calls her the daughter she’s never had. she’s constantly sitting with april in the kitchen, giggling over bam and jess’ baby pictures.

april will KILL the jackass boys if she gets hurt. “bam! what did i tell you about throwing pebbles on the ground!” “ape, chill, she’s fine!”

the entire crew loves her like she’s their little sister. they’re sort of protective over her? creep in a bar? dave’s on it. creep at a premier? ryan’s threatening them.

she can hold her own though. if shit pops off, she has no hesitation to get her knuckles bloody and beat the fuck out of someone.

this is literally the most self indulgent thing ever. i’m making fuckin’ jackass ocs now LOL

[lexaknoxville]

party lover boy - Chris Pontius

“𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲, 𝘆𝗼, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲” - 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗥𝗲𝗱 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗶 𝗣𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀

pairing(s) | Chris Pontius x reader

summary | just some headcanons of being Party Boys gf 😚

warnings | kissing, blood, the usual jackass stuff

REQUESTS OPEN!!! MASTERLIST!!

—————————————————————————————

• this could be me being delusional but, i think he’s actually a really gentle man

• well you know how he is normally, but i see him being an absolute sweetie to you

• plays with your hair 😫 i can see him running his fingers through it, helping with a curl routine if you have one, and he LOVES if you get it done all nice and pretty (definitely a sucker for braids)

• will randomly show up to your house as bunny the lifeguard, just to get a laugh out of you

• IMAGINE TRAVELING WITH HIM FOR WILDBOYZ!!!

• def the type to throw bugs and random shit at you, then feel bad if he actually upsets you (it’s best to act upset, if not he’ll keep doing it 😟)

• secretly a sucker for the cheesy shit like sharing a milkshake, matching bracelets, etc

• jokingly he’s not joking flirting with steve-o just to mess with you

“y/n you’re great and all but, me and steve-o have a special connection” - chris with that goofy ass smile on his face

• will see a pretty flower while he’s out wondering around and brings it back to you

“ i saw it and thought you would like it, here you go!”

• he’s so cute omg

• BEGS you to get your nipples pierced with him, i can see it now omg

“babe we should totally get matching nipple rings”

• will pull some random fun fact out of his ass, and then be shocked when you didn’t know

“chris, honey, what are you talking about…”

“YOU DIDNT KNOW?”

15 minute rant follows

• randomly pops into your room with your bra and underwear on

(constantly scolding him for breaking the clasps on your bras, so he buys you new ones)

• a REALLY GOOD KISSER

• i feel like he’s a gentle, slow kisser, really likes to take his time with it

unless he’s drunk, then it’s sloppy and fast

• comes home bloody and you have to clean him up, yall are STOCKED UP on first aid stuff

• calls you nicknames like baby, babe, angel, and the random shit like monkeybutt, and pumpkin 😭

• loves pop music, don’t play with me

• i KNOW he blasts Britney Spears in the car if you want him too 🤷‍♀️ i don’t make the rules sorry

UGHH THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN, BUT I KNOW MORE WILL COME TO ME SO BE READY FOR MORE OF THESE 🙏

CHRIS PONTIUS MY KING

for @tonymarias 🫡

[philipjohnclapp]

Great! Anyway I can request a Bam Margera x Female!Reader smutty imagine? Maybe Bam ends up meeting Johnny’s younger sister and they end up in a relationship at some point. While in said relationship maybe another cast member ends up flirting with her at a party to piss of Bam on purpose and it ends up leading to some protective Bam and jealous sex?

Sex Pollution

Jackass Imagine

A/N: To those who said I can’t write, get a load of this! Haha!

Imagine you’re Johnny Knoxville's sister, probably younger sister. You’re southern, with a real heavy drawl, and look almost identical to him. Maybe not, but you can definitely see resemblances. You grew up close, surely not a girly girl, you get your hands dirty with no questions asked. You’ve spent the start of your brother's career watching, like a bird. Never really met any of the guys, you didn’t really care. Steve-O was too wild, and you weren’t a fan of heavy drugs, Pontius was too flirty, and oddly, Preston and Wee-Man had their own duo, Dunn? Well, he seemed nice, but he didn’t have the best hygiene, and that was enough on its own to be a deal breaker. Who else were you missing?? Never mind…

You never really were looking for a relationship, really, or even a casual friendship. But things happen all the time; and when Jackass came to town, and your mother let these guys stay a few nights, your plans flipped upside down. You were left confused, flustered, and you felt like a teenage girl all over again. With some kid crush on a guy with such a cute face. Handsome like a guy should be, but he was pretty. Not pretty enough you’d mistake him for a girl, though. Just pretty enough for you to gawk at, to sneak around with when all the guys and your family are asleep. Getting drinks, and sneaking pecks on the lips. Before you knew it you were in your own secret relationship with a guy by the name; Bam Margera. It rolled off the tip of your tongue; and you liked it that way.

And then you moved on to Hollywood, the land of the stars. It was quick, sudden really. It wasn’t permanent, no, you were staying with your brother by day, and sneaking off into hotels by night. Because this whole Bam thing was getting serious. And then you found out party’s exist, and that opened a world of fun. Especially when you found out one of the guys was throwing a rager; and it may or may not be that oh so annoying guy you met months prior. Fucking Steve-O, but you couldn’t care less as you went hand and hand with your boyfriend. Having the time of your life.

Until you weren’t, well, you still were, with a few drinks down the hatch. The only one who was growing increasingly more disturbed, upset, was Bam. Some random guy, probably as high as anyone else was chatting you up a storm, and starting to get real handsy. He wasn’t completely random as you knew that face from the set, but with the alcohol in your system you just couldn’t tell who it was. You were polite, didn’t really wanna make a scene, so you used the excuse you needed to get another drink, smiled with your southern charm in full spring, and headed straight to the kitchen.

The minute you stepped away from the cast member and Bam was taking your place, you could see from the corner of your eye. He was threatening the guy. And it was almost funny to you. Almost. Because the moment you were in the kitchen, Bam was coming up behind you. Wrapping his arms around you and mumbling into your ear, his voice sounded so harsh for a whisper. Almost as rough as sandpaper,

“Fuck were you doing with that scum?”

He growled, like a feral dog. His embrace tightened as he pressed himself up against you. In the kitchen. You were stunned, letting out a breath of air that you felt like you hung onto almost too long as you stayed still, your brain short circuiting as you tried to come up with an answer. You swore you had one, but it popped like a bubble. Your head was as empty as the sky tonight. And Bam didn’t seem to care as he started talking again. His rough nails clawing your sides as he ran his hands up and down them like a cat scratching his owner's couch.

“It doesn’t matter, you know you’re all mine.”

You did. Well, if you didn’t before you certainly know now. His boner pressing against your asscrack was certainly showing it. And fuck, did you like being his. And Bam was gonna make sure you knew it.

He shoved you against the floating island, brushing all the cans, and needles, and lord knows what else off the counter as you bent over for him. Bam ripped your pants down so fast you could’ve sworn he ruined your jeans. Fuck. You couldn’t even be bothered to care as you arched your back for him. He ripped his own pants off with record speed, and would have broken the world record for that one as he slipped his boxers down completely.

Bam was as hard as a gun, and you couldn’t even be bothered with all the party goers so close. The chances of someone walking in and or seeing this was close to a hundred, fuck it probably was going to happen. You didn’t care, luckily Johnny wasn’t here. He’d skin Bam like a pig.

It seemed that Bam didn’t care either, he didn’t have any decency either as he just shoved himself inside of you, and you moaned instantly. Your walls clenching onto him as you squealed with pleasure. Jerking your hips forward instinctively as he started immediately with rough, quick thrusts. You could’ve gotten whiplash he was being so rough, all you could think was fuck as he dug his nails into your side, his other hand gripping hard into your hair, pulling your head back as he warned you,

“You’re mine…fuck…baby, you’re all mine.”

He grunted, letting out his own quiet moan as he quickened his pace. His thrusts getting all messy and desperate, the smell of sex polluting the kitchen and probably spoiling the alcohol as you both neared your climax. His grip on your hair tightened so much you thought he’d rip your hair out, and then he pushed himself deep inside of you, and you saw white as he came inside of you, and you came onto him, moaning as the pleasure swallowed you like a tornado. Fuck, you’ve never been so glad to be his.

[dangerehrenn]

I hope ur good and love your writing it's so good :)

quick question tho, how do you think the boys would react to pierced nipples on their partner????

ohhh they would go crazy

the boys finding out you have nipple piercings

in this: johnny, chris, bam

suggestive content

im gonna do this with the same scenario, and different reactions

it’s a regular day, filming new overly dangerous content with the guys, and someone has the genius idea for you to do a stunt into the water.

(like steveos stunt where he vaulted into the water from the bridge or whatever it was lol).

your boyfriend has been given the task of explaining the stunt to you, and as he’s explaining, you take your hoodie off in preparation. only to realise, shit. your shirt came off with your hoodie.

as your relationship with your boyfriend is relatively new, he had no idea you had nipple piercings…

well. he does now.

johnny:

he immediately stumbles over his words as you slowly realise you’ve just flashed your boyfriend

he clears his throat, then that signature knoxville smirk covers his face

“well. i didn’t know about those” he says cheekily, pointing at your nipple piercings that youre desperately trying to cover up

he’ll tell you to move your hands so he can get a better look

which earns him a slap on the arm for being so cheeky

“i like em baby. why cover them up?” he says, chuckling

he tries to steal a few more glances, then he’ll kiss you and carry on explaining the stunt to you

for the rest of the shoot, he seems very distracted, always lost in his thoughts

you catch his eye as he smirks to himself, and he blushes slightly before smiling again.

you know exactly what he was thinking about

chris:

oh boy

now he’s had a glimpse of them, he has to see them again

now, he’s a gentleman

so he’ll help you cover up

but he quickly ushers you away from everyone else and somewhere private

“since when?” he says, giggling

you play dumb, asking him what he’s talking about

which prompts him to pretend to grab his own boobs

“your piercings, babe” he says, smirking

he asks you the regular questions, did it hurt, is it sensitive, what happens if someone has a magnet

all that stuff

for the rest of the day, he’s distracted - staring constantly

“babe, do you think i’d suit them?”

bam:

he’s a little shit

so he steals your shirt and hoodie

“move your hands and i’ll give you your shirt back” he says, smirking

if you’re adamant you’re not gonna show him, he gives you your shirt back with a sheepish apology

he disappears for a minute, then comes back in time to see you do the stunt (take what you want from this ;) )

he drops the subject for the rest of the shoot, but you can tell he’s thinking about them

afterwards when you’re relaxing, you can tell he’s still thinking about them

so flash the man and let him be happy

“jesus christ are you tryin’ to kill me?” he smirks

or just tell him he can ask the questions he has

he’s like chris, asking the usual questions

and of course

“can i touch them?” he asks with his cheeky smile

[my-hybrid-moments]

hey tumblr!!!

i've been so bored recently and looking to get back into writing a bit

what i'll write:

fluff 🩷

smut ❤️‍🔥

angst 🖤

dating headcanons 🩵

literally anything as long as i'm chill w it

people/fandoms i'll write for:

jackass (johnny k, bam m, ryan d, chris p, spike j) (PLEASE request spike i <3 him sm)

beetlejuice (musical bj/alex b, film adam, barbara) (will NOT write bj x lydia bc ew)

blink 182 (tom d, mark h, travis b)

james mcavoy + characters

marvel (mcu, x-men etc)

hazbin hotel (adam, sir pentious)

andy samberg + characters

mcfly (danny j, dougie p, tom f, harry j)

honestly anything as long as i have a vague idea of who/what it is and i'm chill w it

will be posting some stuff soon !!!

[downtownbunnybaby]

Johnny Knoxville x SNL Cast Member Headcanons

A/N: Ignore the fact the SNL cast and Jackass timeline is inaccurate. This is my fantasy, and if I want Bill Hader and Johnny Knoxville to interact...THEY WILL. This is the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written.

[Johnny Knoxville x G!N Reader]

Warnings: None. SFW.

Words: 601

The two of you hit it off instantly when he hosted Saturday Night Live. It was evident to everyone that he preferred your sketches, even pitching for you to be the second lead. Not caring that it was painfully obvious he was flirting with you. 

“So, I was thinking you and Bill can—” 

“Actually, can you be in it, doll?” 

After the week concludes, the two of you promise to stay in contact. You’re constantly talking over the phone and flying out to each other's cities. So it’s no surprise to your SNL friends and the Jackass guys when you announce you’re dating. 

During breaks, you fly down to LA, making several appearances in episodes of Jackass as a background character. Despite your longing to join in your boyfriend’s antics, Knoxville never allows you in the stunts. In fear of you getting injured. 

“Can’t have that pretty face of yours telling jokes with a bruised eye,” 

However, in the first Jackass, you finally appear in a stunt pranking your SNL family. 

“HI! I’m Y/N, and welcome to Studio 8H,” 

You and the Jackass group are running around, using shopping carts to crash into cast members’ offices. 

“Dave, why don't you leave a gift for Fred on his couch,” 

We all know Lorne Michaels wanted Knoxville to join the cast, so he doesn’t mind when Knox is around during the week or rehearsals. Or when you “accidentally” write sketches that are made for Johnny to be featured. 

“...So you don’t want Seth to play the character or Andy. So, who do you want to play them?”

“Well…there’s one person I have in mind,”

“It’s Johnny, isn’t it,”

“No—yes, it’s Johnny,” 

Both groups love your relationship. 

Your SNL family adores Johnny and has also hopped on the trend of writing sketches for him when he’s around or pritching stunts for him to feature in Jackass. 

“Y/N! Show Johnny this stunt I wrote for him,” 

“Will, this isn’t a stunt,” Scanning the script, you laugh at the proposal. “This is five pages of you and Knoxville going on a romantic date. I’m not going to let you steal my boyfriend." Snatching the script, Will mutters about knowing him first before storming into his office. Queue Jason Sudekis and Andy Samberg tossing their text seeing you reject Will Forte. 

The Jackass guys think you are the funniest person and constantly ask you to join their group. 

“Come on, Y/N, leave SNL and join us,” 

“No, Steveo, I would like to stay alive for my third season,” 

“Your loss,” He said, swallowing a goldfish. “You can replace Knoxville.” 

You convince Lorne to let Knoxville host again, and it’s the most-viewed episode of the season. The cast and writers write sketches that showcase not only you and Knox’s comedic chemistry but also romantic chemistry. 

Somehow the romantic date sketch Will wrote made it into the show. Of course, Will takes the opportunity to make you a waiter that gets obliterated by food and has to fall onto tables and chairs. Knox has one hell of a time pretending to be on a date with Will—occasionally breaking character from the insanity. 

In the green room, Johnny lets you know he only has eyes for you. The appreciation makes you late for your appearance on Weekend Update. 

Seth makes sure to comment on your shortness of breath and disheveled appearance. 

“You alright, Y/N? You seem to be out of breath,” 

“Long walk.”

“It’s five feet…and you rolled over.” 

Naturally, you and Johnny are infatuated with one another, despite being on opposite ends of the comedic spectrum. 

—

TAGLIST:

@asskickedbygirl @captainboomaray @morbidxmagic @spoookyberry

TAGLIST FORM

A/N: this is such a niche, and I'm probably the only person benefiting from these headcanons.

[johnnyknoxvilleswife]

Jackass Clutterboard - potentially inspired by a jackass girl

[jackassbrainrot]

headcanon masterlist

the girlfriend series

bam + rockstar knoxville + cowgirl dunn + biker steveo + partygirl pontius + supermodel ehren + medic jess + jackass crew jimmy pop + cky girl

other

bombshell jackass member halloween bam cky slutty halloween costumes cky as subs

[glitterinmyveinss]

// Back to the Basics //

steve- o x fem!reader

summary: you and steveo used to be best friends, knowing eachother since highschool and all. but growing up sucks. Especially when your best friend who you had/have a massive crush on now does coke off of models backs.

❥ ༄ you were so happy for steve-o when his career as a stunt man finally took off. you've know him since highschool and knew that it was definitely the right career for him. You remembered how you two would always go to the park after school and you would just sit and watch him skate, occasionally you would ask him to teach you.

❥༄ "well first you have to put your foot on the board dude" steveo said with a sarcastic tone. you looked at him and pouted "obviously i know that but which one?" for once, he was looking at 𝘆𝗼𝘂 like you were the dumb one. of course you kinda knew which foot you were supposed to put on the board, but steveo just intimated you so much you lost all knowledge around him and it was like your brain was constantly short circuiting. it was that or all the pot you guys smoked last period. he shook his head and laughed. "put down your most dominant foot babe." your heart did a little skip at that. it wasn't unusual for steveo to use pet names with you, but still, everytime he did it made you flustered...and confused. hesitantly, you put your foot on the board. steveo nodded then spoke up "ok now your other foot, then stand sideways, and push with the first foot you put down." you did as told and started moving. you guys were both laughing as you started to get the hang of it "awesome y/n you're better than when i started!" you blushed and smiled at him "thanks stevie" he gave you a soft smile, then ushered for you to follow him. "come on man let's get some tacos from this truck i'm starved." you got off the board and handed it to him and began following him. you loved this side of steve. everyone else thought he was jsut some rich obnoxious asshole who loved attention. and while that wasn't too far from the truth, he still had a loveable side like everyone else. he was extremely funny and could make you smile no matter what mood you were in, he was actually pretty smart at times, and was whole heartedly kind. to you at least. not so much everyone else. you wish everyone could see his soft side so they would understand why you hung out with him, but you also liked how it was reserved just for you.

❥༄ now it's 2002 and "Jackass: The Movie" was doing rounds in the ticket office. Your and Steveos relationship became basically non existent ever since he joined jackass. he started blowing you off to go hang out with other people you didn't even know, started partying a lot more, (if that was even possible) and he was always busy filming stunts, or being in the er. you tried not to bug him about it, afraid of seeming clingy and like you wanted to drag him down, which of course you didn't. you just wanted your friend back. It was a thursday evening and you had just gotten back from your big girl office job. ever since you were little you knew you wanted to leave your home town. It just always felt so small and closed off from the rest of the world to you. you wanted to live somewhere more progressive. so you got serious about school and were able to get a stable, good paying job in san diego. you went to your room, changed, then plotted down on your couch with some greasy fast food. hey you were single and lived alone, so you sometimes forgot to get groceries. you turned on the tv and began flipping through channels. the station it landed on was MTV, you were skeptical about leaving it on, knowing that everytime you saw steveo now, it tugged at your heart. You watched him change, for better and for worse. of course he's always been completely insane, but he had a soft side to him. now all you ever see is him intoxicated. you decided to leave it on. "maybe they won't even play jackass" you thought to yourself. the commercials ended and the intro for "MTV cribs" began to play and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. but once the episode started, you were stunned. it was apparently a "jackass exclusive" episode where steveo and all his other cast members were showing their "cribs." you knew you should turn it off, or find something else to watch, but you didn't want too. the tv began to show steveo, wasted as ever. you watched in disappointment as he began showing his disgusting apartment, putting hot sauce in his eye, and breaking stuff. Of course this was normal for him, but seeing him on tv do it, knowing millions of others were watching, made your heart hurt for him. "i guess his dream came true..." you thought to yourself. you've been knowing for a while yours and steveos relationship was basically over, but this was the breaking point for you. you put your food away, shut the tv off, and curled up into bed. just staring at your ceiling remembering all the good times and how they were over.

❥༄ It was a cold autumn day when your boss called you into her office. the leaves were changing, the air became crisp, and your outfits became a lotttt cuter. it was your favorite season so you were in a good mood when you walked into her office. "hey you needed to see me?" you asked while giving her a hug and handing her a coffee. "thanks! and yeah i have great news for you!" you gasped and put your hands over your mouth. "tell me!" she had a huge smile on her face while she spoke " the board is sending you to LA to get more info for our project! they think you're the perfect candidate for the job." of course you were happy hearing this, it meant you got to travel, even if it was for work, and you've never been to LA before. but you were a little shaken at the thought of being in the same city as steve o after all this time. your boss gave you all the information you needed for you trip and sent you back to your cubicle.

❥༄ a week later, and you were on your way to LA. You were driving there alone, insisiting your boss that you were fine. you tuned on the radio and cool by gwen stefani began playing. as you listened to the lyrics, you began wondering if you and steveo would ever have a relationship like that, where you could be happy and proud for eachother for finding another love, but then again, did you even want a relationship with him at all if it wasn't him as 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 partner? you couldn't see your self being in love with anyone else, you've never been in love with anyone else. 2 hours and 30 minutes later, you made it to your hotel. you grabbed your bags from the car, checked in, and settled in your room. once you were done, you noticed the time, 5:00. "most bars have happy hour right now.." you thought to yourself." you've always wanted to be in LA, so you decided to let loose and find a bar.

❥༄ you changed form your juicy tracksuit, put on a cuter outfit, and added some makeup. you began walking around looking for a bar. once you found one, you walked in and sat at the bar "a sex on the beach please" you told the bartender with a smile. he gave you your drink and you sipped it in silence, already regretting coming here. you weren't that social to begin with, and it's not like you knew anyone. you regretted not having your boss come along. all of a sudden, you heard some loud voices walk in. it sounded like a bunch of guys so you just stayed staring ahead. you would drink your cocktail, go home, change, and watch 10 things i hate about you for the millionth time. then, you heard a voice you knew all too well speak up. "2 budweisers bud" just your luck. steveo was 3 feet away from you. you noticed him look at you then look away, then snap his neck and look back. "holy shit y/n" you turned to look at him, and you wish you didn't. this was your first time seeing and hearing him in person and not through a tv and he still looked beautiful as ever "o-oh! hey stevie" you always called him that. everyone else called him steveo and steve but you just started calling him stevie one day and it stuck. he gave you a hug while smiling you returned it, hoping he wouldn't notice how your shoulders tensed or how your heart was daring to jump out your chest. even with some alcohol in your system he still made you incredibly nervous. damn it. he pulled away from the hug but stayed close. "what are you doing here. you're still in san diego right?" you fidgeted with your hands and had a nervous smile on your face as you spoke. "i'm here for work" he nodded "oh right on!" he seemed really happy to see you actually, but a part of you was telling you that it was just an act and he couldn't give 2 shits about what you were up too. i mean how happy could he be if he never bothered to call anymore? you noticed he was kind of staring at you, then he spoke up "you look r-really good" he said shyly with a soft smile, which was rare from him, and it felt so nostalgic to see him like that again. "thanks so do you" you said while playing with your hair. it was a nervous fidget you had. then all of a sudden, a tall man with dark hair and dark sunglasses came up to you both. it none other than the johnny knoxville. "where's my beer o?" he spoke. steveo jumped a little and looked away from you "here man" johnny took the can then turned to face you. "oh sorry am i interrupting something?" before steveo could even say anything though, you spoke up "oh no i was...just about to leave." you got down from the chair and slinged your purse on your shoulder. "bye boys" you said as you walked out. as much as you wanted to stay and talk to steveo while staring into his eyes, you knew he was officially done with you. he was hanging out with the big shots now. including bam margera and tony hawk. he was banging models and getting wasted daily. he was living life like a rockstar, like he always wanted, and you didn't wanna ruin that for him. it always seemed that you and steveo were from completely different worlds, but now it was painfully obvious. and you didn't belong in his, or so you thought.

❥༄ you were a few blocks from the bar when you began to hear someone behind you running and yelling "y/n wait!" you turned around and saw steveo coming towards you, with your phone in his hand. once he caught up to you he handed it to you "you left this back there" you grabbed the phone while shaking your head "gosh not again!" you put the phone in your purse then turned to him "thanks you're a life saver." he laughed at your comment "still a klutz huh?" he said with a playful smirk. you gave him one back. "old habits die hard" he let out a little chuckle, then his expression slightly changed from playful to serious. "speaking of that.. i meant what i said back there. you look good." you stared at him, not really knowing what to say. it seemed like he was holding back. he noticed that you knew this and continued " i mean seeing you was like a breath of fresh air" he said with a slight chuckle. you could tell he was tipsy. he was always sweet when he was tipsy. "your face reminds me of when everything was more...simple." you started to get angry. not necessarily at him but at the whole situation. and him saying that angered you even more. simple? did he think you were just some plain jane who had nothing better to do but hang out with him? "what is that supposed to mean?" you said while crossing your arms. he held his hands up in defense. " i didn't mean anything bad by it! it's just...you remind me of...before you know?" he said nervously. you'll admit, he was being ridiculously cute right now, but your anger was getting the better of you. "oh before you became an overnight celebrity and ditched me for brad pitt and lindsey lohan?" "y/n no please jsut list-" you cut him off. "no steve just stop....just stop." tears began to sting the corners of your eyes. you cursed yourself for always being so emotional. you spoke up, your voice shaky. "i was fine with leaving us and all the good times in the past and letting go, but now here you are pouring salt on all my wounds" steveo was staring at you, his face deathly serious and his eyes wide. "why do you think you have to leave us in the past?" you laughed at this. was he serious? "seriously? i mean come on steve we haven't talked in forever and...you're just...different now" he stared at you, looking genuinely hurt, and you knew he hated it when people called him steve, he told you so back in sophmore year when you guys were on the swings at some random park,

"𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?"

you snapped out of your memory when steveo began shouting back at you "you think i haven't noticed y/n? i mean fuck, i just got off a bender, and i'm probably gonna go on another one." you stared at him dumbfounded. "that's not my fault steve i-" "yeah it is!" he yelled at you. you blinked and stepped back. "w-what?" he looked away from you and ran a hand through his short hair while looking down at his shoes. "ever since you left to san diego i've been lost man. you stared at him as he continued. " i've always been crazy but when i was with you... i was able to stop and be me. you didn't expect me to do any stunts, you didn't expect money or drugs from me, you just accepted me for me. the first time we hung out was the first time i felt normal, like i didn't have to put up an act so you would stay interested." it's true that you left him first. once you turned 18 you moved to san diego and started looking for jobs within your field. you didn't know how much this affected steveo thought, you didn't know he needed you as much as you needed him. while you were standing there, staring at him, in shock, he got tired of your silence. "man forget it." he waved his hand and began walking away. you snapped out of your trance and began yelling for him "no stevie! come back." he turned around, with cold eyes. you walked up to him and began to speak "i didn't know you felt that way. i didn't know you needed me as much as i needed you..." you let out a sad laugh "as much as i still need you. im sorry" you looked up at him to catch his reaction, but he was already staring at you, and as soon as your eyes locked, it was like something inside of him snapped. he grabbed your face and kissed you, hard. you were frozen for a second, you always wanted this and it was hard to believe that it was happening. but you pushed all those feelings back and melted into the kiss, putting your hands around his neck while his snaked down to your waist. you pulled away first, and smiled at him. he stepped back then spoke "you don't know how long i've wanted to do that" you laughed at his cheesey comment, then slapped his forehead. he grabbed his forehead and groaned "what the hell was that for?" you laughed at him and rubbed the area you slapped, as a sorry. "for not telling me you liked me back all those years ago!" he looked at you with a soft smile. "well let me make it up to you... how about we get lunch tomorrow? or breakfast or dinner whatever's best for you." he said while scratching his neck. you laughed at how nervous he was "how about dinner and a movie...the new star wars is out we can watch that!" he laughed at your excitement "ok geek sounds good" you just laughed it off and smiled at him. you guys were stuck staring at eachother for a minute before you spoke up "walk me to my room?" he grabbed your hand "lead the way babe" you missed that nickname. you giggled as you two began walking away, forever thankful for this evening. it felt you two were back to the basics.

authors note: hope you guys liked this! i know a lot of stuff in here is inaccurate but for the sake of the fic let's pretend everything's ok! also this was inspired by lana del reys unreleased song "back to the basics"

[babybammargera]

Let’s Party

party boy x fem reader

You had been at the mall all day and now you’re standing with your arms full of shopping bags outside of the small coffee shop your best friend had just run inside to order. You check your phone and look up after hearing the sound of music followed by a young guy's voice saying “Let’s party!” Your eyes are met with some guy in a shiny speedo dancing on some poor older man and can’t help but giggle as the man backs up and then runs away. He continues doing this to people passing by and you notice someone nearby with a camera snickering as he films. After a while, he scoops up what you assume he had on over the speedo pulling on the pants first and stumbling a bit. As he pulls on his shirt he notices you watching and smiles making his way towards you. Out of breath he scratches his head and introduces himself, “Uh hey I’m Chris. I’m assuming you saw that whole thing.” You giggle at the fact that you witnessing whatever he was doing made him blush. “I definitely did, I might have enjoyed the show. I’m y/n by the way.” You shift the bags and hold your hand in the space between the two of you and he takes it. “For you, I’d give you a show anytime… if you asked that is.” He chuckles and it makes you smile even more. For someone who’s fine with dancing in almost the nude in public, his demeanor had changed in your presence. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot mall security looking around the area, “I think you may have been caught.” He follows your gaze and notices the short man in a uniform walking closer. “As much as I love a man in a uniform I don’t wanna deal with that. Before I run could I maybe get your number?” You smile and pull a pen out of your purse quickly scribbling down your number with a heart and the phrase let’s party. He smiles letting out another goofy laugh and runs away grabbing the cameraman dragging him along. Just then your friend comes back holding two coffees, “Who was that weirdo?” You bite your lip holding back a smile, “he’s definitely weird but damn he’s cute. And he has a nice ass.” She rolls her eyes and hands you your drink, “Whatever you say.”