#choosing has been a journey

[curseofdelos]

mentally I'm still here:

Nico insisting that neither of them are going to be sacrificed/left behind to satisfy the prophecy is a perfect encapsulation of his growth over the series and it makes me SO soft to think about

Nico as a character - particularly in BoO - doesn't have a lot of self-preservation. He doesn't really care what happens to him as long as the mission gets done. We see this most explicitly after he almost fades into nothingness after the Bryce Lawrence incident:

And again when he considers shadow travelling into Octavian's tent to assassinate him:

(Nico himself notes here that it was unlikely he would survive another jump. If Will hadn't stopped him, he probably would have died.)

In both cases, Nico was willing to risk death for the sake of ending the war. He puts very little value on his own life, and repeatedly argues to Reyna, Hedge, and Will that the possibility of saving camp (a place he never felt welcome at, might I add) is worth the risk of losing his life.

Even before Nico went on the quest with Reyna and Hedge, the others were concerned about his safety. Percy tried to remind him how unpredictable his shadow travelling could be, and Hazel notes that he has been acting strangely lately:

It's not quite clear what Hazel is worried about here, but my interpretation of this scene is that she's concerned that Nico isn't thinking - or perhaps, isn't caring - about what effect the constant shadow travelling will have on his wellbeing. Between Tartarus, the jar, and the Cupid incident, Nico's mental state is at its worst at this point in the series, and I think Hazel is worried he'll do something reckless - something he can't come back from.

And so in TSATS, when Nico is told that he's going to have to leave something of equal value behind in order to save Bob, the old him would have had zero issue sacrificing himself if that's what it took to ensure Will and Bob's survival. This version of Nico, who's been going to therapy w/ Mr D and opening up more and built a little support system for himself, can't fathom it.

Nico in BoO did not have a future. He had fully convinced himself that nobody cared about him or would miss him if he was gone - not Percy who fought for him at every turn in PJO, not his sister Hazel, not his new friends Jason and Reyna. He was ready to leave both camps behind because he couldn't see himself ever being happy there. He couldn't see himself being happy at all.

But now, in TSATS, he has a boyfriend that he loves, he has friends that he loves, and he has a community in Camp Half-Blood. He has experienced so much loss that losing someone else is his worst fear. The old Nico would have considered sacrificing himself to protect Will and Bob. At the very least, he would have kept that option in his back pocket as a 'just in case'; he wouldn't have sworn on the Styx that he wouldn't stay behind.

This Nico, however, is doing much better - not perfect, but better. He loves Will, and he wants a life with him, and he's not willing to give that up for anything. Nico has hope for the future, and he's clinging to that hope with everything he has. He sees a light at the end of the tunnel, and he wants to reach it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself because it means losing that future.

Gone is the cynical pessimistic Nico who assumes the worst because the worst is all he thinks he can have. Here is the Nico who has had a taste of happiness and is willing to fight to keep it. He's not going to sacrifice himself because he wants to live. He's not just fighting for Will here; he's fighting for himself too.

And seeing him go from "if it kills me, it kills me" to "it's not going to be me" makes me so ASDFGHJKL

[shalom-iamcominghome]

My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!

Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........

[ghost-bard]

how do i talk about taash being a realistic character while also acknowledging that they absolutely couldve and shouldve been written better in every aspect

[thewhizzyhead]

warriors 2024 and the art of giving meaning to struggle

alrighty ramble time: let's talk about luther and how he managed to fuck up NYC for good. if luther were like i dunno lex luthor, i'd say his move to destabilize gang relations in nyc is a very fucking calculated move because i really do have to give credit to him in actually achieving the goal he set out for himself because his decision to kill cyrus,,,,aka the one that organized the "Please No Gang Fighting" summit that aimed to unite everyone against the bigger baddies of NYC,,,essentially fucking killed any and all chance of such a peace summit and unity initiative from ever happening again. because, like, after seeing a beloved and seemingly untouchable leader be murdered in front of all of you despite explicit instructions to Not Bring Weapons, would you even risk witnessing that chaos again in another summit? would you trust that forming a united force work after such a tragedy? is there even a possibility of finding trust among other NYC gangs if someone among their number killed your very hope? so yea knowing how the movie ends with just the gramercy riffs saying that the warriors (with two dead people and one arrestee in tow) are off the hook because someone else witnessed luther killing cyrus,,,the original ending is actually quite hopeless when you think about it in their shoes. in the words of movie swan himself in the movie, is what they end up with all their night of sleepless fighting and struggle is worth? hence, i now really see why warriors (2024) decided to make what I consider to be the 2nd biggest diversion outside of the genderswap: making cleon live - because otherwise, the warriors' struggles surviving the night can be said to be struggle for solely struggle's sake.

in the musical, cleon is an astute believer in cyrus and the future cyrus envisions for all of NYC - thus, she becomes the harbinger of cyrus' hope in the form of still breathin' and somewhere in the city. her being alive doesn't detract from the widespread tragedy faced by the NYC gangs - i still really believe that no matter what, luther effectively killed their one shot at true unity and trust - but in cleon's own words: "What do you do when they kill everything you believe in? Give it meanin." the decision to keep cleon alive is warriors (2024) counteractive measure at the absolute shithole luther placed NYC in because in her message of keeping the dream alive despite situations that are, realistically speaking, impossible to wholly recover from, gives their struggle meaning, purpose, and direction - the end goal being hope. that theme of hope despite and in spite of adversity now becomes evident on as to why we are made to be invested in the warriors' journey home and their subsequent growth. in mercy's decision to leave the orphans for a place of belonging and pride that can make her finally hold her head up high. in ajax's and fox's decisions to retaliate against their pursuants among sleazy old men in blue. in swan's persistence in getting the rest of her crew home alive despite still reeling from the loss of her leader and her fellow warriors. all attribute their own reasons to why they resist and rebel because they ultimately hope for something fucking better. ultimately, warriors (2024) exists because of the want to give more meaning to struggle in the form of hope amidst hopelessness. in the movie, the warriors find their meaning in the sweet simple bliss of survival - in making to coney island's sunrise. but in the album, another meaning is emphasized among not just the warriors, but the marginalized communities of NYC in general: their meaning of struggle goes beyond surviving the night - because they carry on and carry forth the dream of one day having a city where they all come home alive. because after all, isn't the formation of grassroots rooted in resistance - and isn't resistance born out of the want and hope for something better?

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.

[thisonelikesaliens]

Final results on this little stat (whether Qian uses "Ge" or "I/me" when referring to himself in direct conversations with Yuan) through ep12, breakdown by episode and by different stages of Yuan

It may be a natural way of speaking, but whether it's subconscious or a deliberate choice by the writers I still find this progression fascinating

[baeshijima]

i am predicting that sunday will be a nihility character to contrast robin's harmony (hoyo PLEASEEE make him a dot buffer 🙏 i really want him but if he won't synergize well with kafka then i fear i'll have to skip...)

honestly at this point i just want sunday to be drip marketed and released and in my account 😭😭 like i will be pulling him and his lc no matter what his synergy with the charas in my account are bc i need him. carnally. and desperately.

[deductions-and-magic]

On the perimeter of the Int.

so I just watched Interior Chinatown and discovered Archie Kao (and proceeded to start watching his entire filmography as you do) (also i think i really need to read the book Edit: finished the book!! might write a new post)

And I think it is so poignant that he is Uncle Wong

The ABC (American Born Chinese) who has a foot in both worlds (the first to realize the dangers involved and believes it’s his responsibility to protect his people!), who says

"I was born here. In this city. I've been here my whole life."

and yet is so grounded in both cultures

who finds the victims of the systematic violence resulting from the police procedural

is performed by the ABC who was raised on an American farm, who did not know Mandarin when he moved to China a few years back to find his roots and pursued acting there, who is now back in the US (source: his Int. Chinatown interviews), who has always tried to help. to change things (even if small)

In his interviews he talked about how he spent most of his time in Hollywood on procedural dramas

And parallels with Willis Wu who as a "Generic Asian Man" could not be the hero, the lead (on CSI: Enhance! On Chicago PD: Detective but tech guy — so many parallels)

So he, like many Asian Americans, IS Willis Wu (like Uncle Wong was Willis but even more similar)

but more importantly, his path of America -> Asia -> America is the path of so many people who are unsure of “self” and where they stand, thinking about where they come from and what that actually means

What being American Means, What being Asian Means, What being Asian-American Means

so I think it's likely this show represents a culmination of his journey of self discovery

As a Chinese American

And what that means to him.

Not at the intersection of two cultures but Cape Horn -- a confluence

Where oceans crash together and people get submerged

where there is a distinct divide but you can’t see it when you’re in the water

In Chinese there's a saying: "见山是山，见水是水；见山不是山，见水不是水；依然见山还是山，见水还是水", which roughly translates to “Seeing mountains as mountains, seeing water as water; seeing mountains not as mountains, seeing water not as water; still seeing mountains as mountains, water as water"

like you're back where you are before, and it's the same

but it’s different now

Which applies to so many things here.

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[orangefuckingjuice]

late to TDOV but

I love you trans women I love you trans men I love you nonbinarys and genderqueers and multi gender people and people with their own unique relationships to their gender that might not make sense to others I love you intersex trans people I love you trans gays and lesbians and bisexuals and asexuals I love you all

many blessings and celebration and love to you all!! you are beautiful and wonderful and worthy of the many joys life will give you living authentic to who you are :^) 💗💞💖

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[lynettethemadscientist]

I cannot get over how good the story of Fallout 4 is. And yet somehow this seems to be what people hate most about it? How?? Honestly if you can’t get immersed in this story then that is a skill issue. Learn to use your imagination. And get some narrative comprehension.

[eydi-andrius]

I thank everyone who continues to support and read my stories despite my lack of uploads. Know that you give me strength.

[lesbianshadowheart]

How I sleep knowing Aloy is a lesbian and HZ3 will not have dating sim-like romance options

[chucktaylorupset]

So fun fact: I was really surprised to see this screenshot because I thought I remembered reblogging this post, only in the reblog chain I saw instead claimed that the origin of the xenomorph was from Dan O’Bannon’s experience as a disabled man with Crohn’s disease.

it turns out that there was straight up a different original poster for my version, which explains why I couldn’t find this set of reblogs.  So which was the true authorial intent?

Well, if you search the reblogs of the version of the post I saw, you get a quote from Dan O’Bannon that’s featured in a Cracked.com article which labels its sourced being from the documentary The “Alien” Saga. 

"One thing that people are all disturbed about is sex... I said 'That's how I'm going to attack the audience; I'm going to attack them sexually. And I'm not going to go after the women in the audience, I'm going to attack the men. I am going to put in every image I can think of to make the men in the audience cross their legs. Homosexual oral rape, birth. The thing lays its eggs down your throat, the whole number.'"

The odds of this all checking out are very probable, although I’m not quite at the point yet where I care enough to watch an entire documentary.

If you search for Dan O’Bannon and Crohn’s the articles are mostly obituaries like this one from The New York Times which speaks about O’Bannon having Crohn’s disease and his passing happening due to complications, that last part being stated by his wife and also has this quote

“I love gore films and I grew up with ’50s monster movies,” Mr. O’Bannon told the journal Cinefantastique in 1979, speaking of the film’s origins. “The idea for the monster in ‘Alien’ originally came from a stomach ache I had.”

But there’s also a bit in the LA Times obit that says it was after parasitic microorganisms.

O’Bannon said in a 2003 interview that he modeled the alien’s behavior after the life cycle of parasitic microorganisms.

“One thing I realized hadn’t been exploited in science fiction movies were the physical aspects,” he told the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J. “The real world offered many examples which were extremely loathsome, and I thought, if it’s good enough for Mother Nature, maybe it will work on an audience.

Back to the stomach ache, best source for this I could find is a DenOfGeek.Com article that no longer exists on anything but the WaybackMachine.  A lot of the sourcing is taken from the author doing direct interviews with O’Bannon and Chris Foss, a film designer who worked on Alien. However the wayback machine copy of the article does not preserve the author’s name.

This blog post gets a prize for, despite probably being just some guy(s), actually has citations for its sources.  I ran into so many randos writing a blog post with a paragraph of summary with no direct quotes, and no citations.  Some of the sources on this blog are to print publications in Spanish I’m not going to try to tangle with, but assuming this is reliable, or at least represents a greater deal of effort to fabricate, O’Bannon would not be officially diagnosed with Crohn’s until after the after production on Alien, but would have been experiencing symptoms, so this accounts for why it is attributed to “food poisoning” or a “stomach ache,” because he wouldn’t yet have the diagnosis to inform the framework of these experiences, I can’t get better certainty without reading an actual biography.

Speaking of, one of the citations brings us to the closest thing to a direct source, an article from The Observer reviewing the book Shock Value by Jason Zinoman.   Which is presumably the source from which it derives claims like

Mr. O’Bannon, who died in 2009, was afflicted with Crohn’s disease and suffered its symptoms for decades: “The digestion process felt like something bubbling inside of him struggling to get out.” That’s how the most famous element of Alien—the creature hatching out of a man’s stomach—was born.

And is also the source of the claim on Dan O’Bannon’s wikipedia page.

tl;dr there is good reason to believe that screenwriter O’Bannon was inspired by parasites, his experience with crohn’s, and then also created sexual undertones in order to to discomfit his audience.

I have never seen the movie Alien.

https://beyoncescock.tumblr.com/post/690434966949117952/i-mean-id-be-scared-too

https://www.cracked.com/article_18932_alien-film-franchise-based-entirely-rape.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/21/movies/21obannon.html

https://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-xpm-2009-dec-19-la-me-dan-obannon19-2009dec19-story.html

https://web.archive.org/web/20221005060816/https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/did-the-alien-franchise-come-from-a-bad-hamburger/

https://www.chrisfossart.com/

http://alienexplorations.blogspot.com/1979/06/chestburster-medical-inspiration.html

https://observer.com/2011/07/the-horror-the-horror-fright-flicks-finally-get-their-due/

\m/

[anipgarden]

Some of you may have heard about Monarch butterflies being added to the Threatened species list in the US and be planning to immediately rush out in spring and buy all the milkweed you can manage to do your part and help the species.

And that's fantastic!! Starting a pollinator garden and/or encouraging people and businesses around you to do the same is an excellent way to help not just Monarchs but many other threatened and at-risk pollinator species!

However.

Please please PLEASE do not obtain Tropical Milkweed for this purpose!

Tropical milkweed (Asclepias curassavica)--also commonly known as bloodflower, Mexican butterflyweed, and scarlet milkweed--will likely be the first species of milkweed you find for sale at most nurseries. It'll be fairly cheap, too, and it grows and propagates so easily you'll just want to grab it! But do not do that!

Tropical milkweed can cause a host of issues that can ultimately harm the butterflies you're trying to help, such as--

Harboring a protozoan parasite called OE (which has been linked to lower migration success, reductions in body mass, lifespan, mating success, and flight ability) for long periods of time

Remaining alive for longer periods, encouraging breeding during migration time/overwintering time as well as keeping monarchs in an area until a hard freeze wherein which they die

Actually becoming toxic to monarch caterpillars when exposed to warmer temperatures associated with climate change

However--do not be discouraged!! There are over 100 species of milkweed native to the United States, and plenty of resources on which are native to your state specifically! From there, you can find the nurseries dedicated to selling native milkweeds, or buy/trade for/collect seeds to grow them yourself!!

The world of native milkweeds is vast and enchanting, and I'm sure you'll soon find a favorite species native to your area that suits your growing space! There's tons of amazing options--whether you choose the beautiful pink vanilla-smelling swamp milkweed, the sophisticated redring milkweed, the elusive purple milkweed, the alluring green antelopehorn milkweed, or the charming heartleaf milkweed, or even something I didn't list!

And there's tons of resources and lots of people willing to help you on your native milkweed journey! Like me! Feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any questions!

Just. PLEASE. Leave the tropical milkweed alone. Stay away.

TLDR: Start a pollinator garden to help the monarchs! Just don't plant tropical milkweed. There's hundreds of other milkweeds to grow instead!

[warblogs17282]

I love the character development Stolas has had throughout this season, especially in his songs, we started the season at "Owl, in a cage."

To "He taught me that I could choose."

And finally, we've ended up at "the master of my fate!"

Love to see the journey Stolas has gone through this season, I love seeing Stolas' confidence in being able to choose his own destiny, his own fate grow by large amounts in the songs he's been in this season.