#choices zadie

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Thai BL isn't lesser. It just has different aesthetic goals. It often prioritizes what some would call a theatrical style to filmmaking over a cinematic one.

Theatrical approaches, in the US at least, are currently associated with older films and television. They're also linked to contemporary shows in what are currently thought of as more conservative genres like youth-oriented cable programming (think Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel), soap operas, and sitcoms.

However, the theatrical style in the west has been at other times very much associated with cutting-edge subversion and queer camp. In the 80s and 90s, for example, counter-cultural cinema projects leaned heavily towards more theatrical approaches in the face of blockbuster corporate sheen. The films grouped into the Queer New Cinema loved to play with this. Consider the bold colors, static shots, and unsubtle dialogue in But I'm a Cheerleader.

In the 50s and 60s, the theatricality of sitcoms was a site of transgressive feminism and gender representations like in Bewitched (see more in The Queer Fantasies of the American Family Sitcom or Camp TV: Trans Gender Queer Sitcom History, among others).

Both those eras used theatricality for a number of reasons: budgetary necessity, subsequent technological limits, but also as a counter to the different kinds of elitism associated with the cinematic style in those periods (intellectual in the 50s and 60s and corporate in the 80s and 90s).

Cinematic style didn't begin to fully emerge anyway until the 1940s and 1950s with lenses and cameras that could depict greater depth and move through the spaces the characters were inhabiting. Before that, theatrical presentation was simply the only option. So Old Hollywood is rife with theatricality, and plenty of of those films still have the power to move audiences and feel surprisingly relevant with their visual and scripted commentary. Camille, with what some consider to be a nearly all-queer cast and main production crew and one of Greta Garbo's best performances, holds up incredibly if you're willing to accept its theatrical diva-licious approach.

But plenty of the Old Hollywood films are also duds along with the other eras mentioned. Theatricality, like cinematic approaches, is not inherently more queer or superior to other forms. They're just styles. As Zadie Smith wrote, "In Britain, we are always doing this: mistaking an aesthetic choice for an ethical one." I'm guessing that tendency is pretty universal, either mistaking aesthetic choices for ethics or, even more often, quality.

Appreciating theatricality will hopefully help you understand other choices in Thai BL with less judgment, though. The comic sound effects, jarring as they might be for western audiences who've had laugh tracks and sound effects sequestered away from much of their 'prestige' media, are an artistic choice in their own right that Thai BL has refined over the years to work as leitmotifs (small repeated sound sequences) in the series that reiterate the themes.

Two great examples of sound cues came out last year even as their cinematography leaned more towards a cinematic style. The Trainee, a GMMTV show about a film production company, used computer error sounds as a comedic beat when characters' fucked up, while Kidnap had a pathetic dog whimper, which created more sympathetic characters, like injured puppies who needed love and patience to recover from their injuries.

There's an art to using these theatrical tools in productions. I was rewatching an episode of Little Bear recently and Mother Bear blew out a candle, which was indicated not by a blowing sound effect but a clarinet trill. So much more tender! These sorts of sonic tricks were used beautifully throughout silent films, opera, and symphonies in the West for years. It merely fell out of fashion outside of cartoons and some comedies.

But just because certain tastes or practices were deserted or designated for "low-brow" entertainment in one culture, doesn't mean that other cultures are somehow 'behind' or 'lesser' for their use of it. Both cultures are equally contemporary to one another. One is not more advanced just because it has a stronger economy or easier access to certain goods and technologies. Nor does the designation of 'low-brow' to some art mean that the 'low-brow' entertainment is actually less skillful or impactful. The viewer just might lack an appropriate angle to appreciate it from or there might easily be cultural biases at play, not just across different cultures but regarding social status and rules within a single culture (and bother are something we ought to be very sensitive about when dealing with queer media).

I want to look at one of my favorite aspects that comes out of Thai BLs preference towards theatricality. The performances, and even certain production elements, often burst with spontaneity, clumsiness, exuberance. It can infect an audience with joy as the shows demonstrate what we often call (from lack of clearer aesthetic terminology) "heart." Dismissively, plenty of fans refer to the 'heart' of Thai series as if its unintentional and unrelated to the elements of the series they see as inferior. Its the sweet taste that got them addicted to a guilty pleasure! The 'heart,' though, comes from the Thai creators prioritizing a view of human messiness over the technical precision preferred by a cinematic aesthetic.

Thai BL often has a similarity to live theater in this manner, as well as improvisation-based media. Again, these are not lesser forms of art. I bring up improv specifically because it's easy to believe that the lack of pre-planning and compositional directive ought to diminish it in the made-up hierarchy people have going in their heads. Yet, we have Mike Leigh, a British director of dramedies, and Christopher Guest, an American comedy director, both famed and critically celebrated for their humanist works founded in improvisation.

You won't find me arguing that all Thai BLs are successful or that one country's BLs are somehow better than another's. I just do my best to understand, explain, and make meaningful comparisons to appreciate the aesthetic goals I see shows' evoking. It's also fun to look into influences beyond my own cultural scope and love (and repost) when others' share them. What are specific East and South Asian media reference points that influence the style of the shows (lakorn, literary BL media, Thai traditional theater)? I'd be remiss not to mention, for example, that the theatrical traditions for Thai shows derive mainly from Asian traditions in cinema and theater, despite all my comparisons to Western history!

Then there's the question of local political, economic, and cultural issues and limits that the creators live alongside and must create within and/or against to some extent. I'll never know all the answers, but exploring the questions is so much more fun than disparaging shows for what they aren't and what they can't or don't aim to be.

But look, I personally have a preference for the style a lot of Thai BLs go for. It reminds me of the cartoons, musicals, DCOMs, and vintage tv I've loved watching for most of my life. I like the variant gender and sexuality representations they offer. I like the intricate economic-political commentary I see the writers working into the subtext. It's not going to resonate for everyone, not everyone will see what I see, and all that's okay. I've personally never been happier with the amount of series' that match my tastes.

[larkral]

finally (already, always)

CHAPTER TWO! Yes, here she is, badass lawyer mum, Zadie, kicking ass and taking names. Is she in awe of the magical world of Britain? Read on to discover.

The magical government of the UK is called The Coven. (Truly, their naming choices are doing half the work of keeping their existence a secret. Anyone I told would laugh me out of town.) And conducts its business out of a comfortable suburban estate.

How does she learn about this magical world? The secrets are there to discover

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Snake Eyes 5

Warnings: noncon, coercion, manipulation. Proceed with caution.

Note: thanks all for reading and I hope you’re excited for this one. All feedback is more than welcome and loved and appreciated. Reblogs are most helpful.

Part of The Club AU

The service industry is less than formal. There’s not much red tape in the hiring process and less administrative restraints. So, after a short video interview with Sif, you accept a job for the weekend. It’s not entirely your choice of venue, a yacht, but the pay even before gratuity is enough to convince you.

More peculiar about the job is that it’s not a single night. You’re slated to work through the weekend at breakfast, lunch and dinner. It beats handing out shots to tipsy coeds; these wealthy investors will have deeper pockets.

So much for being destitute all at the whim of that snake. It’s the nature of the business. Gigs don’t last long and when they do, you’re miserable. If it was up to you, you’d be working at one of the upscale cocktail bars in the downtown core but they rarely open up applications.

You pack a bag and take your time getting ready. There’s a dress code of course. All black, no pants. You know these sorts of events. They only hire women and their purpose is more than serving, they have to be nice to look at. Well, you can doll yourself up.

You put on a sleek halter blouses with a leather skirt. You’ll sweat your ass off but it’s what you got. You have just enough outfits to last you through two days. Oh, and some anti-nausea meds to counteract the sea sickness.

The job will reimburse you for the cost of the uber. You don’t think you’ve ever been to the dock. You weren’t a part of the college crowd with their party boats and aren’t generally a fan of being on the water. You tip the driver on your phone as you get out and look around.

There are two other girls in black hovering around. You approach them, assuming they're in the same boat as you. The pun barely worth thinking. 

“Hey, um, are you meeting Sif?” You ask.

“You must be the new girl,” they look at you with their drawn on brows, “Tara,” the tall redhead introduces herself.

“Zadie,” the shorter woman with the spiral curls flicks her lashes derisively.

You offer your name in return, sensing their coolness. They’ve worked together a while, that means you’re the rookie, you have to prove yourself. That isn’t difficult, you have faith in your own skills.

“You’re pretty,” Tara preens, “love the gloss.”

“Thanks,” you accept the compliment.

“I could never pull that shade off,” she continues, “very harsh.”

You nod and force a smile. You’re sure that is only the beginning of your act. You shoulder your bag and turn on your heel listlessly. You’re not here to make friends.

“Girls,” Sif’s heels draw your attention as they click across the dock, “thank you for waiting. The captain was a bit late with his safety review. Ugh, so we have to hurry with set up. The investors will be arriving shortly. Can’t have you standing out here like a bunch of stray cats.”

“What happened to Katie?” Zadie asks as she steps forward first.

“She’s at her sister’s wedding,” Sif returns smoothly, “don’t worry, she’s vetted and very capable,” the dark haired woman gives you an appraising look, “you might learn a few things, Zee.”

Zadie rolls her eyes and Tara grins over her shoulder, trying to hide her amusement. You shrug and follow them towards the boarding ramp. Right, just don’t think about the water.

🍸

The boat is a flurry. After you are shown your cramped cabin, leaving your bag on the bed, you are taken to the gala deck. There, you are acquainted with the bar and set to your prep. The familiarity of the work welcomes you in and your nerves calm even as the subtle swell of the water rocks the ship.

As you work in tandem with the other girls, the lights adjust and music begins to waft around the space. You look out at the tables, set and ready for diners. It seems a rather overdone event. You’re not sure if you had yacht money, you would waste it on these pompous displays. Maybe that’s why you don’t have any money.

The first investors begin to trickle in. You hear Sif’s voice rise above the building din as she beckons them in and shows them their seats. Some sort of auction for charity. Funny, how these things are always fundraisers…

As the crowd burgeons in, the first patrons of the night come by the bar. Tara elbows past you to take the lead. You let her. You know her type. They approach the job like a competition. No use playing that game.

“Miss, a drink,” you hear from your left. You turn to greet the man, his silty tone only registering once you face him. Loki smirks as he drapes his arm over the trim, “I believe you know my preference.”

You withhold a scowl. You don’t know how to respond. You can’t scream at him so you turn and begin to put together a dry martini. You feel him watching you. Of course, he’s one of them.

“Mr. Laufeyson,” Zadie comes up behind you, “nice to see you.”

“You too,” he says silkily.

“Hon, why don’t you let me take over for Mr. Laufeyson?” She offers as she touches your arm.

“She’s got it,” he shoos her with his fingers.

You present him the tall glass and meet his eye. He watches you with that imperious gloating grin. He reaches for it, sliding it closer with two fingers around the stem.

“Now I should be suitably bolstered to face my guests,” he declares. You squint at him, his guests? “Darling, should you require anything, you know you only need ask. I do take pride in accommodating my staff well.”

You blink, lips sealed and tight. His eyes rove up and down as he lifts his martini, “cheers.” He takes a sip and winks, before spinning on his heel and strutting off. You should’ve known it was all too easy.

[measureformeasure]

october reads

due to reasons i spent basically all of october reading fervently. i can feel it slowing down but dude i thought i was just going to eat books forever. this is not normal for me. (* if it was for class, bolded if it was special to meeee)

books

finished the odyssey*

everything under, daisy johnson

rouge, mona awad

between the body and the flesh, lynda hart

alcestis, katharine beutner

novellas/whatever anne carson is doing

michael kohlhaas, heinrich von kleist trans. michael hoffman

the penelopiad (reread)*

the beauty of the husband, anne carson

the pleasure of the text, roland barthes

short talks, anne carson

plays

far away, caryl churchill*

hecuba, euripides

zadie's shoes, adam pettle*

intimacy, thomas bradshaw* (this play SUCKS)

penthesilea, heinrich von kleist (INSTANT fave. this play fucks hard)

amphitryon, heinrich von kleist

people, places & things, duncan macmillan

the hothouse, harold pinter

the oresteia, trans. sarah ruden (probably? a reread? but damn. plays of all time)

venus in fur, david ives

the vermont plays, annie baker (the aliens, circle mirror transformation, nocturama, body awareness - my favourite was nocturama)

the effect, lucy prebble

"daddy": a melodrama, jeremy o. harris

articles/nonfiction

emily wilson talking about translation choices (here)

interview with anne carson in the paris review (here)

currently reading

stories under occupation: and other plays from palestine

henry henry, allen bratton

love is the greater labyrinth, sor juana inés de la cruz* (possibly for a final project)

ovid's heroines, clare pollard

tbr

piranesi

lolita

sex changes with kleist

[onlyjaeyun]

I have so much to say but I NEED to say this…

I saw you said that a lot of people wanted you to have Snowflake be strict with Hoon.

But… the scene you wrote…

It was perfect.

I never wanted that (the “strictness”) I’ll be honest. I never wanted her to be super hard on Hoon… And truly when you have been in relationships with real people…well. They aren’t perfect. They mess up. You mess up. And it’s not ideal sometimes.

The scene you wrote was literally so perfect. Flawless. It was absolutely excellent. It was real. Raw. Beautiful. Sometimes you just get too tired…sometimes you just don’t want to wait anymore to be happy.

Sometimes the person you love does something wrong. And you don’t need to make them wait for forgiveness. You don’t need to make them earn it. In a relationship YOU will inevitably do something wrong too… Can you imagine how terrible it would be to have your remorse and genuine apology met with a list of requirements—after you have both suffered…

No…that isn’t what anyone really wants in a relationship. And it certainly wouldn’t have fit Snowflake and Hoon because…at the end of the day there is real and abiding love between them…and doing all of that…it isn’t who they are. After spending so long pretending that they aren’t each other’s person… the punishment has already been delivered. They had to live without each other for 10 years. No one is promised tomorrow. Life changes and takes and gives without warning.

I wouldn’t waste another second away from my soulmate by having him atone… What purpose would it serve? She knows his heart already.

Life is its own atonement. It is already hard without us making it harder.

True love is such a gift and theirs was so strong that it survived 10 years of them trying to kill it.

No. I’m glad you chose to do it the way you did. Because real love isn’t about “being strict”…and “making sure he pays for what he did”… Forgive me but… such things are often petty and immature…

It’s about healing and restoration and moving forward and changing and growing for the better… and it was all there in that absolutely perfect scene you wrote.

Don’t bother with what people want from you Zadie—or what their expectations are of the story you want to tell. Those are you characters. You know them. You love them. And your instincts as a storyteller—as someone who understands people—are unparalleled. I’m so glad you followed your heart on this.

viola, my love, my partner in crime, my ride or die, my adoptive older tumblr sister ☹️🤍

you never fail to make me tear up with your asks and feedback and basically everything you text me and i cant evenr thank you enough for it. your support is literally everything to me and i hope you know you've helped me through some tough times on here 🥺🤍😭✨

it always feels like you know exactly what to say to esde all those worries in my head because i was definitely worrying about if i had made the right decisions, so reading this definitely made me feel even more secure in my decisions and choices.

i wholeheartedly agree with everytjing you've said and i honestly couldnt have said it better bc you always hit the nail on the head with your analysis. this is bery important to people who have doubted CH!hoonyn's reactions and the development in their relationship so thank you for putting it into words and tkaing that burden off of my shoulders.

i love and appreciate you so so much 🤍

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

"Stop worrying about your identity and concern yourself with the people you care about, ideas that matter to you, beliefs you can stand by, tickets you can run on. Intelligent humans make those choices with their brain and hearts and they make them alone. The world does not deliver meaning to you. You have to make it meaningful … and decide what you want and need and must do. It’s a tough, unimaginably lonely and complicated way to be in the world. But that’s the deal: you have to live; you can’t live by slogans, dead ideas, clichés, or national flags. Finding an identity is easy. It’s the easy way out.”

– Zadie Smith in On Beauty

[the-al-chemist]

🥳 🥺 🥴 and (ofc) 💥 for the fanfic asks, pretty please with cherry bakewell on top?

Ahh, you know I love your questions 💛

🥳- The fanfiction you had the most fun writing

I have already answered this one, but let’s give a second answer of When Stars Ignite. Because that project was a whole lot of fun. I still miss live typing in google docs of an evening. I actually think live typing is a great way to work.

🥺- The most underrated of your fanfictions

Probably anything with Zadie in it.

🥴- Your weirdest fanfiction

Tough choice (there are so many that are just a little peculiar), but I’m going to have to go with The Easter Bunny. A retelling of a major moment from the New Testament canon set at Hogwarts featuring a eulogy to a rabbit, a pumpkin coffin, and a reference to Peter Sematary… it doesn’t get much more weird than that.

💥- Bonus! Tell us all about one fanfiction of your choice!

Ugh, I’m so bad at free choice. Let’s just say that Another Day was one of the hardest secrets I’ve had to keep. I genuinely was jittery by the time I got around to publishing it!

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Please clarify in the tags what you voted for on the options that are multiple choice!!!

Tagging: @wagner-fell @hahahax30 @petalsofaflower-shutupthomas

[nzbookwyrm]

For me, being a reader, in summer or at any other time, isn't a "lifestyle choice." Rather, I made the choice—if that's what it was—so long ago, it has taken on an inescapable character in my mind. I think that if I were a very good swimmer, I would be proud to be so, but being proud of being a reader, in my case, is like being proud you have feet.

Zadie Smith

[zadiestore]

Keep Your Drink Just the Way You Like It

With advanced double-wall insulation, your beverage stays hot for hours or refreshingly cold all day long. The 40oz Tumbler by Zadie Store combines exceptional functionality with modern style, making it the top choice for those who value convenience and elegance.

LINK SHOP

[kavrillia]

Let's pretend this is a large train, since air travel doesn't exist in Kavrillia.

Seat 6 would be my first choice (assuming Vazali wouldn't be too jealous), followed by 9 (Zadie and Abarok are bound to be the life of the party.)

Most people would hate 2 or 3, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall for the Nartok and Zalani drama or the Xeebec/Lareza bickering. Plus Zalani would be glad to have a buffer between her and Nartok('s breath).

1 would suck because the kids would watch Captain Comet the whole time. 4 would be boring unless you're a fellow Council member. 5 might be awkward with Vizada staring into space on one side, but Kazie would be pleasant to hang out with. It would be hard to relax in 7 with imperial guards on three sides: one wrong move and they'd tackle me to the ground for threatening the empress.

8 would be okay. Rimzor's a nice guy, and I'd be close enough to eavesdrop on Abarok and Zadie being funny. 10 would be fine if I just wanted to read the whole time, since Lynzari and Hazervia would probably just ignore me and do their own things.

12 wouldn't be too bad. Sicara is a sweetheart, although she'd probably bore me by talking about Irokori the entire time. With any luck she'd be busy bantering with Xorax instead.

14 would be fine if baby Zarolyn was sleeping, but when she was fussing and screaming, not so much. I'd swap seats with Lenzi pretty quickly so she could take over. (Zarolyn's in the orphanage where Lenzi is a social worker.)

13 would be weird. Ditzy college-age Zelda on one side, and the president and co-founder of the Vincaran Federation on the other side. Ontaz would probably ignore me, while Zelda would say something amusingly clueless when she wasn't reading magazines or tacky romance novels. Could be worse.

11 would be the absolute last resort. Nobody wants to sit next to Brialla. She'd either talk to her dead husband the whole time or rant about wiping her enemies from the face of the planet.

[alexbkrieger13]

The midfield hasn't looked good this season so far. Continues to have trouble getting the ball forward.

Sorry but Kerr hasn't been very convincing and Zadi has been off form. Too bad JZO isn't available today because she would have been good option.

I mean Zadi is that with injury at the moment and this isn't our first choice midfieldeven with that absence so yea butI'll be honest I have not paid a single attention to the midfield maybe because the attackersare taking years off my life

[onlyjaeyun]

ANON CAN CRY WOMP WOMP

how are you zadie ?? 💗💗

🐯

WOMP WOMP WOMP!!1!1!1!1!!1!1😩

i'm okay baby, soooo not in the mood to go to class but unfortunately i have no choice (my bestie is peer pressuirng me)(no they're not) hbu ?? i hope life's been treating you well baby☹️🤍

[quoteoftheweekblog]

CALEB AZUMAH NELSON - ‘OPEN WATER’ (FIRST PUBLISHED 2021)

First sentence:

'The barbershop was strangely quiet.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.vii).

On English Literature:

' "I miss being able to read anything, I'm doing English Lit at uni." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.29).

On Zadie Smith:

' " … I'll be back … Maybe for some Zadie." "Good choice." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.29).

' … pouring over the pages of a novel - Zadie Smith's "NW" "I love her writing." … She's my favourite writer. 'NW' is the book I return to most." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2023, p.39).

' "But what of 'NW', the book in which no one wins?" ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.40).

On being Black:

'We are all hurting, you said. We are all trying to live, to breathe, and find ourselves stopped by that which is out of our control. We find ourselves unseen. We find ourselves unheard. We find ourselves mislabelled. We who are loud and angry, we who are loud and brash. We who are Black. We find ourselves not saying it how it is. We find ourselves scared. We find ourselves suppressed, you said.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.34).

On plot:

' "There are really only two plot devices when writing: a stranger comes to town, or a person goes on a journey. All good work is just variations on these ideas." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.40).

On summer:

'It's summer now.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.68).

'It's summer now, and you're craving a simpler existence. You want to read.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.68).

'It's summer now, and you're looking forward to worrying less.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.69).

'It's summer now, so let's slow down, and breathe.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.70).

' "It's summer now." "It is, indeed." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.73).

On open water:

' "I love you, you know?" She has swum out into open water, and it is not long before you join her, You take but a moment before saying, "I love you too." ' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.82).

'It's like you both dived onto open water, but you have resurfaced with her elsewhere.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.100).

'You came here to tell her you are sorry that you wouldn't let her hold you in the open water. You came here to tell how selfish it was to let yourself drown.' (Azumah Nelson, 2021, p.130).

REFERENCE

Azumah Nelson, C. (2021) 'Open water'. Amazon.com [E-book]. Available at: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Open-Water-Caleb-Azumah-Nelson-ebook/dp/B088NRG888

[meiageddes]

“Stop worrying about your identity and concern yourself with the people you care about, ideas that matter to you, beliefs you can stand by, tickets you can run on. Intelligent humans make those choices with their brain and hearts and they make them alone.” -Zadie Smith

[lilianeruyters]

Benjamín Labatut || The Maniac

When my book club was given the choice between Zadie Smith’s The Fraud and Benjamín Labatut’s The Maniac, a fear of having to deal with mathematics had my book club members chose Smith. Determined not to be frightened by the tale of a mathematician I decided to read them both. Be sure I am going to tell the others they should definitely read The Maniac. We rejected a brilliant novel. The Maniac…