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choicesficwriterscreations · 10 months ago

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January Creator of the Month: Jerzwriter

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is CFWC's own @jerzwriter. The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

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1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

It was sometime in 2017, and the first book I ever played was The Royal Romance, Book 1.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined a couple Facebook groups in 2019. I just wanted to discuss stories with others who were interested, as no one in my real life reads Choices. I didn't even know I was entering a fandom. lol I started reading fanfic on Tumblr the following year, but I found Tumblr intimidating, so I was mostly a silent reader. I didn’t start writing and contributing until May 2021, mostly because Open Heart was ending and I was in denial. 🙂

3- How did you pick your blog name?

It’s pretty boring, actually. I’m from NJ, and I write. I wanted it to be JerZwriter, so people would know it is Jer-ZEE-Writer, but that wasn’t doable, so it’s Jerzwriter, and most think it is Jerz-Writer. Oh, well!

4- Pull up the first and last posts in your archive, and tell us about them!

My first post was the first chapter of my Ethan x Casey x Tobias love triangle, Delaying the Inevitable (OH). It was my very first fanfic and I really didn't think I'd write anything beyond that. I was so green back then, not only to fanfic but to the fandom as well. I’m really glad that I was naive because I don’t think I would have had the courage to post it if I had, but I’m glad that I did.

My last post was Falling for You, a little drabble I wrote for Tobias x Casey (OH), and it featured a commission by the talented artist @weetlebeetle. It was a light, fun piece that took place early in Tobias and Casey's relationship, and it shows Tobias at his absolute simpiest. Lol

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

Oh, how I wish I could draw, but I can't. So, I’m strictly a writer. I may try giving drawing a go again, but I don't expect much to come of it. lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Choices was the first fandom I ever wrote for, and I started in May of 2021. So, just over two and a half years. I have written a little bit for some other fandoms since that time, but I primarily write for Choices.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Tough question. I write for Open Heart, Crimes of Passion, and Wake the Dead, and they are three of my favorite stories. I also loved Desire & Decorum, but I never wrote for it. Though, I’m planning a re-read, and you never know. 🙂

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was the first chapter of Delaying the Inevitable. I was so green when I started that series that I’m sure there are things I would change, but I’m still very proud of it. That series will always have a special place in my heart. I’d like to revisit it one day to “clean it up”, it could use some condensing. But I would never change the storyline.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

This is such an unfair question. lol The Delaying the Inevitable Series definitely comes to mind, but I’m also very proud of my Eli Sipes prequel stories, A Mother’s Journal, Coming Up Blank, and The End of the World. But Tobias and Casey are my favorite pairing, and I simply love the world I created for them. And while my headcanon for them is my favorite, I cannot pick just one fic for them, and I'm not going to! lol But, I've also written a bunch of AUs for them, and Friends* is one of my favorites.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

Yes, to both! The fandom is much smaller today, but back when we were more active, I learned you couldn't predict how a fic would be received. There are too many to name, but I will say whenever my smut does well (and quite a few of them have), I’m always astounded. lol

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

This is such a difficult question because I believe the best stories incorporate a little of each, and, as a writer, exploring all three helps spur creativity. Also, my absolute favorite is angst with a happy ending, so there is definitely some fluff in there (and I'm never mad at a little smut being thrown in!) But if I were forced to choose, it would probably be angst. I think that's where I am strongest, and I just love raw emotion. I think that’s where character development really occurs. I have not written as much angst recently, and I miss it. Perhaps I need a change in 2024.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are definitely parts of me in my MCs and OCs, but I do my best to prevent them from becoming self-inserts. I'm not as cool as any of them, that's for sure! lol That said, I do find inspiration for my fics in real life, so there is bound to be a little crossover. When using real-life inspiration, I try to change details so that the fiction is not a carbon copy of the real-life event. Normally, by the time I'm done, they're hardly recognizable.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most? Where do you feel you are strongest?

I struggle most with setting a scene. Dialogue is my strong suit, and that just flows for me. It flows so much that sometimes I forget to describe what's going on around the conversation. I think this is particularly easy to do in fanfiction because so much of the "world" has already been provided for us, so I recognize this more when I'm writing original works.

The other thing I struggle with? Brevity. I know I can go on, and on, and on. lol I've gotten much better at this, but there is still room for improvement.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

(Elsa leaves the room, quietly crawls under her desk, and hides…) YES!!! Far, far too many, and no matter how much I share those posts that say, "You don't have to finish! If you're not feeling it, move on!" I don't believe it! lol I really want to make wrapping them up a priority in 2024. But I also know writing - particularly good writing - cannot be forced. So, it's a goal, but I'll only do it if I feel it’s right.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

It would depend on who asked. I’m not ashamed of writing fanfic at all, but if I believed the person would be judgemental, I wouldn't be willing to share. A few of my friends have read select pieces of my fanfic, and I’ve always received positive feedback from them. I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing more. What I'd share would depend greatly on the person asking.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

There are many published writers that I admire, but I don’t think they've influenced my writing here. Within the fandom, there are many writers who have inspired me in different ways. There is no way I can ever name them all. But I'd like to give a shout-out to some.

@jamespotterthefirst and @bex-la-get were among the first writers I read when I joined Tumblr. I found their passion for both canon and the worlds they created inspiring, especially as Open Heart was nearing its end and all of us addicts needed our fill. Reading their works helped keep the story alive for me and so many others, and it inspired me to try my hand at it as well. To my shock, they were both so encouraging and supportive of me when I arrived, and I'm forever grateful. Back then, I thought they were rockstars - and they are! But now, they're also friends. I wasn't familiar with @alwaysmychoices from the start, but when I came across their work, I was just blown away. Weekend with Dr. Ramsey will live rent-free in my head forever, and that headcanon about Charlie calling Ethan the night before she marries someone else. (I faint.) Ohhh, the delicious angst! The way she made me feel what Charlie felt was just mind-boggling, and it encouraged me to really dig into my character's emotions and bring them to life in a more meaningful way.

Early on, I read @utterlyinevitable, and the thing that impressed me the most was how Dom was willing to "write stories that “went "go there.” They tackled issues that others wouldn't touch. In their world, everything wasn’t perfect, including the characters themselves. I admired that vision and, frankly, bravery, and it definitely encouraged me to write what I wanted to and not what I felt was expected of me.

More recently, @mydemonsdrivealimo inspired me to explore parts of my MCs that I have not delved into in the past. In particular, Casey's bisexuality. It can be challenging to represent a bisexual character when they are in a straight-presenting relationship, and you risk alienating readers no matter what you do (looking at all readers here.) So it becomes easier to be lazy and ignore it. But that's a disservice to the character as much as it's a disservice to people living similar situations in real life... like I have many times. Through MJ's writing and our conversations, they've helped me become more aware and do a better job in this regard, and I'm not even sure if they know this - it may totally be news to them lol - but I'm eternally grateful. Now, I feel my girl Casey is free, and OMG, how I love our characters playing together in HC now!

Then there are @lilyoffandoms and @storyofmychoices, who bring joy to all that they touch. Who knew when Lily created a little drabble putting our characters in a new world together, it would end up being one of the brightest fandom spots of 2023? Who knew that so much more would stem from that one work? Seriously, it's been one of the highlights of my fandom experience this year, and it's helped me to find inspiration at times when I felt like it was lost. Thank you both - I am so lucky to have you both here!

There are so many more I could mention, but I'd still forget people and feel horrible, so I want to take the chance to thank every writer in the fandom for sharing their gifts with us. Each of you is an inspiration in your own way; each of you can give someone an idea, and you have no idea where that spark will lead. So, never stop sharing!

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Delaying the Inevitable, Friends*, All in the Past, and the WIP What’s Forever For. I also think some of my Ethan x Tobias works would have made for a good sitcom, and how I wish my Tobias x Casey friendship with Bryce x Jensen would be an epic sitcom. The world needs it! lol (Jensen belongs to @mydemonsdrivealimo.)

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. Mostly shorter stories that will never see the light of day, but also some more substantive works... which will also never see the light of day! lol I wrote a novel-length political thriller some time ago. It would need a ton of work to bring it up to 2024, as the political landscape has changed so much. I also have two original WIPs I've been writing. One is an angsty story about a friendship that's loosely based on a childhood friend I lost to cancer a few years ago. The other is a polyamorous romance about two best friends who fall for the same person. It's really a beautiful, emotional story. If I like the end result, maybe I'll let it see the light of day... maybe. lol

20- What other hobbies do you have?

I enjoy theater, and I'm lucky enough to live in the best part of the world to partake in that. I go to a lot of Broadway, Off-Broadway, and local theater productions. I also love going to concerts - they’re like group therapy! Trust me, I got more out of seeing Noah Kahan and Hozier in 2023 than I did from the entirety of sessions with my therapist - and I loved my therapist. lol

Prior to 2020, I did a fair amount of traveling, and I hope to start doing a little more this year. But I have to admit, since the lockdown, I’ve become more of a homebody, and I like it, so we’ll see how that goes!

I used to be very involved with activism and advocacy for women’s, lgbtq+, and mental health issues. I still am, but in a different capacity than I was in the past. These issues require people fighting for them, and doing so has always been a huge part of who I am, but it can be draining, and burnout is real. I really reached the end of my rope. So, nowadays, I work as a volunteer for a couple local organizations that really mean a lot to me. I'm not involved in grassroots efforts or taking trips to talk to legislators as often, but I'm helping people on a smaller scale, and that still goes a long, long way.

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

As most of you know, I’m one of the mods here at CFWC, so it was a little weird when my the wheel landed on my name. But, honestly, it’s happened before, and I've just spun again, even though I am eligible. But this time around, I decided to do it. This fandom really means a lot to me, and I wanted to share a little more about myself and my crazy pixelated people.

I'm truly grateful to everyone in the fandom who does their part to make this a place that many, like me, still see as a place they want to be. We're smaller, it's imperfect, it has plenty of problems, but I am choosing to focus on the good... because there is much more of that than there is bad. So, thank you to each of you... and I hope we all have a wonderful 2024! xo

PS... My header... I know Tobias wasn't technically an LI... which was truly criminal. So, that's what fandom is for, fixing what canon effed up. lol My favorite canon LI is Trystan Thorne (COP). I tried adding their picture to the header alongside Tobias, but it looked terrible, so here I am. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I can't wait to highlight more of you in 2024! :)

#choices fic writers creations #playchoices #choices the stories you play #cfwc creator of the month #jerzwriter #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic #january creator of the month #open heart #crimes of passion #wake the dead

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koalatysleep · 5 months ago

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Large ripples from small stones, or Why my Yusuke is different from yours - the HUGE difference that translations & cultural context make to YYH canon!

I recently became aware of how much different dubs/translations of YYH changed the original Japanese dialogue/meaning when I stumbled across a great post by another fan who watched the anime in both the original Japanese dialogue and the American English dub, and that post highlighted some of the dialogue/meaning that the American English dub changed so that the characters / dialogue fit the American cultural expectations / way of speaking better, and that actually changes interpersonal dynamics between characters as well as the characters themselves, thus changing how we interpret them! I can't find that tumblr post now, so if anyone knows the tumblr post I'm referring to, please comment with the link! (It used Hiei and Kuwabara's interactions as its example).

That post lit a lightbulb in my head - because it explains just how different "canon" can be depending on which language & culture you consumed canon in, and why some headcanons / interpretations can seem quite OOC to some while appearing perfectly in-character to others! It's because we're basing our headcanons & interpretations on different canons & cultural contexts! (or we could be playing in sandboxes that are totally removed from canon, which is a perfectly legitimate way to enjoy art too!)

As an example of how different "canon" can be depending on the translation/cultural context, in this scene in Anime Episode 5 when Koenma asks what Yusuke plans to do if Keiko doesn't make it in time to resuscitate his body:

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The Japanese original dialogue is: "I can't make Keiko wait 50 years. If that happens, I'll give up with dignity."

(I google-translated the Japanese CC script below, if anyone reads Japanese, let me know if the Google translation is accurate!)

Coupled with the official Chinese Manga translations of the equivalent scene which has very similar dialogue to the Japanese CC dialogue from the anime, Yusuke is referring to how he'd give up on trying to come back to life, and just die cleanly now.

At this point in time we have to dive a little into the subtext of previous episodes in order to understand the meaning of this Japanese dialogue, because Japanese culture/verbal communication is VERY VERY SUBTLE, with A LOT of meaning left unsaid between words. Yup, Japanese verbal communication is itself very subtextual, same as YYH canon! So let's peel back the layers!

We saw in Anime Episode 1 itself how Yusuke had such a low self-esteem due to his distorted view of himself as a "good-for-nothing-fuck-up" which he internalized from the external world's treatment and view of him, that he genuinely believed his life was worthless, that he wouldn't amount to anything good even if he came back to life, and that it'd be better for everyone around him if he stayed dead! 😭

Which is why he was ready to stay dead even when Botan gave him the choice to come back to life!

At this scene in Anime Episode 5, while Yusuke is no longer as ready to give up on his own life as he was in Episode 1 (because he saw how much he meant to his mom, Kuwabara, Keiko, Takenaka, and the kid he saved during his wake), when he saw how his mom was still more preoccupied with getting drunk than care about him in this episode, and how Kuwabara wasn't receptive to kissing Yusuke*, Yusuke again felt like he doesn't mean much to the people around him, which is why Yusuke thinks if he still wants to return to life, he can only rely on Keiko to wait around another 50 years to resuscitate him, which obviously wouldn't work, thus Yusuke feels he can only give up on coming back to life and die cleanly now.

While this is indeed a very Yusuke thing to do - he doesn't do anything by halves! - this is still driven by Yusuke's emotional wound of feeling unwanted, unloved and worthless to the people he cares about! 😭 It's very true to life, because emotional wounds like Yusuke's doesn't just get resolved when you see people crying at your wake one time! Yusuke is likely thinking - they may be sad he's dead coz well he's dead, but they don't really care enough to want him to come back to life! 😭

*(I also think Yusuke saw Kuwabara screaming awake in terror after the romantic kiss that Yusuke projected into Kuwabara's dream.. The fact that Yusuke went to the arcade to tell Kuwa a second time to kiss him tells me that Yusuke saw Kuwa scream, and even before this arcade scene Yusuke already said he can't rely on Kuwa or his mom to resuscitate him so he already knew Kuwa wouldn't show based on his scream 😭😭 that must have hurt Yusuke too, because Yusuke obviously had subconscious romantic hopes with Kuwa as evident from the Freudian-slip of a romantic kiss he projected into Kuwa's mind, where Yusuke literally pictured himself as Sleeping Beauty and Kuwa as the Prince Charming who kissed him back to life! 🤣 But instead of reciprocating, Kuwa screamed in terror, denied the dream, and refused to acknowledge it even after spirit Yusuke tried to tell him a second time at the arcade 😭 This must have been romantically disappointing to say the least or felt like rejection at the worst, even if Yusuke's romantic hopes at this point in time with Kuwa were just nebulous subconscious desires! Thus this again makes Yusuke feel unwanted!)

But I digress! The point is - based on the Japanese original dialogue, we get the above interpretation of what's going on with Yusuke as a character - his emotional wound of feeling unwanted/unloved/worthless is not yet resolved, it's triggered when 2 out of the 3 people closest to him doesn't do anything to bring him back to life, and Yusuke feels that if Keiko is the only one who wants him to come back to life enough to do something about it, he's still ready to give up on his own life and just die cleanly now, rather than drag it out another 50 years.

In other words, this is not a romantic scene that confirms Yusuke's in love with Keiko, if anything it's a scene that confirms Yusuke is NOT in love with Keiko, because if she's the only one who wants him to come back to life, he would still give up on living! This scene is about who Yusuke is as a person, and what makes life worth living to him!

This scene in its original dialogue tells us VERY IMPORTANT things about Yusuke's character -- he only feels life is worth living if he has people he cares about in his life + he's loved by the people he cares about! Which is why in the episode when Keiko rushes into the house fire to save his body, he told Sayaka that it would be pointless for him to return to life if she dies, because for someone who's as made out of Love as Yusuke, there really is no point in him returning to life if it costs the life of one of the few people he cares about! I've been shouting to anyone who'd listen that Yusuke is actually entirely made out of Love, and this is more proof points of that!

Yusuke's emotional wound of feeling unwanted / unloved / worthless / and thus alone is also FUNDAMENTAL to his character arc in the rest of canon, especially during the Dark Tournament!!!! Without this scene and its meaning intact, it would totally change our interpretation of the rest of canon, especially the Dark Tournament which is ALL ABOUT Yusuke overcoming this emotional wound!!!

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If you watch the anime in the original Japanese audio track but with English subtitles, the dialogue and meaning becomes different in seemingly subtle but significant ways:

"I can't very well make Keiko wait 50 years. If that happens, I'll give her up like a man."

This seemingly small change makes a world of difference, because this phrasing "I'll give her up like a man" implies Yusuke is in love with Keiko, which the original Japanese dialogue doesn't!

If I were watching canon purely in this English subtitles, I would think Yusuke is revealing that he's in love with Keiko, which totally changes what this scene is about, as well as what the rest of canon means!

Based on this dialogue/meaning, I would think that Yusuke really is in love with Keiko, and my interpretation of Yusuke in the rest of canon would go from the Japanese original "Gay and in love with Kuwa, but whose found family sibling Keiko complicates matters coz she's in love with him", to this version's "Bi and falls in love with Kuwa, but was previously sorta in love with Keiko"!

When I first watched the anime in this English subtitles, I was hella confused by the rest of canon after the revival arc was done 🤣, because I was blinded by my heteronormative expectations into thinking Yusuke really is in love with Keiko, and that wasn't helped by translations like this which changed the meaning of the original scene, which made this scene incongruent / inconsistent with the rest of canon which shows us Yusuke is in love with Kuwa!

I was like "hmmm?? Why the inconsistencies between what he says and what he actually feels? Why does he seem to be crystal clear he's not in love with Keiko, but he says something else? Even though he obviously knows he's in love with Kuwa?" And thus my interpretation of this version of canon can change to "bi- or gay-struggle to accept his own sexual orientation", which is very different from the Japanese original canon where Yusuke has always been crystal clear about his romantic feelings and didn't actually have issues accepting that internally, he just wasn't sure whether it was reciprocated by Kuwa or not!!

And thus the headcanons and fanworks we create would be completely different depending on which canon we got!

Of course, Japanese canon also had to keep the dialogue ambiguous enough that heteronormative audiences can read Yusuke as in love with Keiko easily, coz canon had to hide the Kuwameshi love story under the misdirection of Keiko as the romantic love interest, which is why even the original Japanese dialogue is deliberately vague so it can play into mainstream audience's heteronormative assumptions, but still, it doesn't imply Yusuke is in love with Keiko like this "give her up like a man" phrasing does, because the scene in its original Japanese meaning is about Yusuke's emotional wound, not his romantic love interest.

This English subtitles also doesn't tell us anything about Yusuke's fundamental emotional wound, which is what's driving his character arc in the rest of canon, especially the Dark Tournament!!

Like, it took me SO LONG before I figured out what the Dark Tournament was actually about in terms of Yusuke's character arc okay! 🤣🤣 I had to re-watch the entire anime before I got it! 🤣🤣

We begin to see what a world of difference subtle changes in translations & cultural context makes! Large ripples from small stones!

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Now if you watch the anime in the American English dub, the dialogue/meaning becomes even more different:

"The only thing I can do. Wait around another fifty years. Then I'll go see Keiko when she's an old hag."

Okay first of all, I love how the American English Dub doesn't change the scene to a romantic one that implies Yusuke is in love with Keiko! I also love the way Yusuke refers to Keiko as "an old hag" 🤣🤣, which is thoroughly sibling-coded rather than romantically-coded 🤣🤣🤣. Which can explain why a lot of my fellow fans who watched canon in this dub read Keiko as Yusuke's sibling way earlier than I did! Thank goodness I eventually caught on though! Giggle!!!

While I love that the American English dub doesn't change the meaning of this scene to a romantic one, it nonetheless changes Yusuke's character in significant ways -- in this version, Yusuke doesn't have the emotional wound of feeling unwanted/unloved/worthless anymore, he's suddenly so over this fundamental emotional wound that he will hold onto his life even if he has to wait 50 years as a spirit in a pretty meaningless existence, even though it seemed to him like nobody apart from Keiko cares enough about him returning to life! 😅

And thus based on this version of canon, my read of Yusuke would again completely change from the Japanese original of "Appears confident and uncomplicated on the surface, but actually has a deep inner self that's very different from his external facade and has a tender aching heart that he hides from the world", to this version of Yusuke who seems to be "Really as uncomplicated as he appears on the surface, no hidden emotional wounds or tender achy feelings inside" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And thus we see how the headcanons and fanworks we create would again be completely different, depending on which version of canon we're basing it on!!

Like I said, large ripples from small stones!

And while I'm more than happy if Yusuke really has overcome this fundamental emotional wound in just a few short episodes that didn't actually give him enough learning opportunities to overcome this wound, it makes this scene incongruent with the rest of canon (especially the Dark Tournament), which is ALL ABOUT Yusuke overcoming this emotional wound!!!

Having said that, perhaps the rest of the American English dub in other scenes/episodes down the line establish Yusuke's emotional wound in other ways, which would bring his character arc back in sync with what the Dark Tournament's all about!

ANYWAY, the point of this post isn't to compare "canons" to see which one is "better". The point is - we've already seen for ourselves how even "canon" itself can be totally different (or even internally inconsistent with itself) depending on which translation/cultural context we consume it in, so if you come across another fan's headcanon/interpretation which seems OOC to you, it might just be that their canon was in a different language/cultural context from yours, OR their canon contains subtext that your canon doesn't, OR they noticed subtext you didn't, OR their canon's translations contained inconsistencies, OR it might be that they're playing in a different sandbox that's quite far removed from canon itself, which is still a perfectly legitimate way to enjoy art too!

We're lucky that the YYH fandom is by and large a very nice tolerant fandom which gives people space to interpret canon however they want even if there's supposedly "no canon evidence" for it, because this is art, art is supposed to give us the space to imagine and create, it doesn't have to be so serious, and we can all play in our respective sandboxes even if it really is totally removed from canon!

So I guess what I'm saying is - if you get your kicks by basing your enjoyment on canon like I do, there're plenty of "canons" to geek out over ❤️❤️, and if you get your kicks by playing around with the characters in ways that are totally removed from canon, that's perfectly fine as well! We can all still get along, because that's what ART IS ALL ABOUT, it gives us space to enjoy it in whatever ways float our boats! :D

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As for why this post is tagged Kuwameshi, well that's coz I personally get my kicks from deciphering canon's subtext, and I'm so obsessive about it I'm even considering learning Japanese language so I can read/watch canon in its purest form without the risk of anything getting lost in translation🤣🤣, coz deciphering canon to me is an exciting fun adventure where I get to unearth buried treasures that have been hidden in plain sight more than 30 years ago by Togashi and Anime Studio Pierrot, and every time I discover something new I jump and scream like a mad person with SHEER UNADULTERATED EXCITEMENT AND JOY, and since the Kuwameshi Love Story is at the HEART OF EVERYTHING IN YYH, I literally cannot talk about YYH without screaming about Kuwameshi!!!

As I've mentioned before in metas / replies to comments of various fellow fans, on my first watch of the anime, I was still shipping Yusuke with Keiko coz I was blinded by heteronormative expectations (& also confused by translations which were not consistent with what canon shows), but I was SO DISSATISFIED shipping Yusuke with Keiko coz I could sense all the ways in which Yusuke is actually not romantically interested in Keiko, just that I couldn't explicitly put my finger on it at that point in time, so much so that I watched the whole anime again looking for clues and found Kuwameshi instead! GIGGLE!

I kid you not, canon's subtext is guaranteed to blow your mind, to paraphrase a Dua Lipa song ;P

Come scream about them with me on my Kuwameshi Meta series on AO3 if you wanna see what I mean!!! 🥹🥹🌈🌈🐦🐦👌👌

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO @sadique-angel coz the buried treasure analogy is a chef's kiss analogy from you!!!! I HAVE SO MUCH FUN gushing about canon and discovering hidden treasures with you that honestly I might just tag you in all my meta about YYH in future!!!! 🤣🤣🙌🙌📸🤿🤠🤩😍

#kuwameshi #yyh #yusuke urameshi #yu yu hakusho #yusuke #urameshi yusuke #kazuma kuwabara #kuwabara #kuwabara kazuma #kuwameshi meta #yyh meta #yu yu hakusho meta

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onereallygoodlambonastick · 8 months ago

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rolecall / XG - TIPPY TOES / left right posting up slow switching lanes just like this / only direction i know swerving left right keep me upright / my adrenaline hit the pedal to the ground / 2 lil asians / don't we all deserve it ill tell you how we want it / no you cant deny it / you either like it or bite it / don't ask me if you dont know why / the only direction i know / what goes around comes back around / so when he comes down are you gonna let him pay or are you gonna let him stay

do you know why phonk gets popular on the social medias? because people dream of murder. they just find the most socially acceptable way to do it, because these are people interested in staying people. to those who dream of murder: this is will not kill you. for it did not kill me.

this is why everything i write is a poem.

and i think more of us should dream of murder, or what it takes to end a life. just one is fine. just 1. uno. uno. yi. yichi. one. One. the One. you believe in god? believe in the power of 1.

all for one / one for all. think on it. evoke all might, and evoke his enemy. why?

the universe is interested in this, too.

will you answer it - or shall i?

Dealer's choice.

You want to be cool? Be cool like a dying & a dead body.

I've lived through the age of humanitarian aid - ive seen nice people do nice things. Now I ask: Toni Morrison, what would you do different?

Fushigoro Toji knows exactly what I am referencing, and not only that: he knows exactly what I am aiming for. This is because he was interested in bringing the jiu-jitsu sorcerery world to its knees.

Gojo Satoru was interested in this too.

Now the question is: how?

Gege Akutami failed in his task to honor Gojo Satoru. I name you, Satoru: for all your fans call you Gojo, and I alone will know you. Now who will join you? By this, I mean: who will join me?

Who will speak conviction to action - because by the audre lorde, i Know Archive of Our Own, I know the dynasties of our time, and I know how to tell them from myths, and I know how to tell that from myth-making.

East Asian dragons are built like fishes for a reason.

Weavers in Palestine have still not fled. I need not know why. Why? I know why. Why? You gonna keep asking me shit or are you gonna use that brain two people gave you and the fact it's a muscle and do grindr? Grind on it. Grind. You done? Do it again.

You pissed yet?

You mad, broski?

You either wake, or you don't, unstirred - thus undeterred.

I say this now to honor James Baldwin: no more sleeper agents shall be in my path. Let's fucking dance, or there shall be war.

Sugimoto Saichi knows this so fucking well it made me get up and take a run, because he made me take a blow to the face and I survived it: he says this to a white US-American collector of Ainu artifacts: and do you know what he said? He said this: give up the artifact or I will take you down. Verbatim, by word of the translator on the pirated site on which I read: do you know what happens when negotiations break down?

It's called War. more simply: you, or me. it is an art. that's why "sun tsu" is famous in the white(?) man's world.

Now there is the mythicized World War 3. Chinese-Americans will for sure suffer like they were meant to be born stillborn in its wake. Do you want me to tell you why or will you look up? Current news is distracting for one reason: the news is merely an inch of actual reality that then proceeds to holler down several damaging hoops.

What is more accurate: current news evokes the current state of the world.

Here's a note to clue you in , not that any immigrant nor migrant nor vagrant really needs it, but here's something to piss you off anyway - Japanese-Americans were sent to internment camps. Wanna guess what number world war this was for?

Wanna guess? Or Wanna Know? See what I'm putting down yet? No? Okay.

No more sleeper agents shall be in my path. I say this now to respect the fact James Baldwin aided in my survival. He died already: why do I still feel him here, with me, laughing? It's simple, really. Because he loved Angela Davis: and Angela Davis is still alive today.

And I am right there beside her.

In the first and only book I've read from him, he said this through the mouthpiece of his characters, his loved ones, his chosen ones, the ones that would make him survive, AKA enable, and he said this: I will build a long, long table for folks to be eating off of for a long, long time. And the woman who loved him said this back: I'll go where you lead me.

This book changed the US-American consciousness. He wrote in France. I don't need to read his autobiography to confirm this. Here's why, because I could give less of a shit if you wanted to play devil's advocate: it is because James Baldwin judged he would not survive in The United States of America.

So he wrote in France.

I believe he died there.

Now I ask: will you respect 2024 or will you make someone come after you?

Dealer's choice.

You have been dealt your hand. Your ass is either shown or it will be shown. You either wake, or you don't, undeterred. It is this clear cut because empire has intensified, singing of its war drums: it has been, always, never new, always old, but never interesting, always predictable. It is why all the gongs of dehumanization are on. It is why those who have listened to it all their life are now cold like metal. We know how to be metal. Metal: the one thing that needs heat to shapeshift. Why is winter difficult to survive? This is why historians and social science researchers say the same shit and nobody listens, but they are slightly more likely to be listened to, and that is why people of color, and those of the margins, flood into academia anyway, knowing they will be perfectly tortured.

Do you want me to tell you how I have been tortured?

Do you want to guess, or do you want to know, or do you want me to torture you to make you find out?

There have been people who were shot for less. Of them: Hind Rajab. After or before her, because the order doesn't really matter, not really, only that they were dead where they stood: those two Red Crescent paramedics.

Toni Morrison must be shocked where she is in her lively post-death. She said this to me once, because I read it, and I felt her touch me, because she is real, and when she died in 2015, that is how I knew Donald Trump was fake: I will always be shocked. I will always choose to be shocked. I think anything less is a kind of death.

I have died. But I am still alive. Why? To honor the two people who raised me. One - a dragon herself. The other - a rabbit.

My dad has taught me to think like a prey animal.

Do you want to know why people daydream about shapeshifting into predators?

Do you want to know, or do you want to guess? Follow the path your parents have set you on since the day you were born.

Otherwise this is what will happen: you will never catch up to Martin Luther King Jr. You will not meet Audre Lorde. And you will not be looked at by James Baldwin, though he will see you, anyway.

Do you want to know what happened to the people who made Disco Elysium, or do you want me to fucking repeat myself?

You either wake, or Nanami Kento will never speak to you on his way to get a viet sandwich. And through your mouth will be flies: for you have failed to speak the truth, and honor the one and Only task you were given at birth: take care of thyself.

Number 1 rule of Art of War by a Chinese man:

It is the same rule that KDJ from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint dances to. This is why every character revolves around him, carnally. Their hunger is real. Their seeing and knowing already there. This is because KDJ is a reader. He knows exactly what potency it takes to kill a character, and what it takes to keep one alive. This is why Shing Shong was successful in their refusal to write a story that comes from domination. Because first: she was disinterested in it.

Because first: she wrote a story. And it was a long one. 500 chapters. And for what?

This is why I want Shing Shong carnally. Why carnally? Well: what do you think? You wanna spend a guess? Come here. Come and find out. Come.

2024 is the year of the wood dragon. Wood dragons are named for their transformations. I've decided. Do you want to know what I've decided, or do you want to guess? If you are impatient, now you will know how it feels like to be in a burning pit, hellish by Japanese standards, tortured, forever and ever, and then perhaps you will have your first rare and individual and selectively acquired taste of what it has meant for everybody else to be colonized, while you stand, alone, mute, wearing the most bodily privilege you have ever seen, never acutely felt, and you will stupid for it - do you know why? Because white supremacy has an adjective placed in front of it, and it is doing something there. White supremacy knows it must first trick the light skinned people. So first it creates an abstract idea: it creates -

What would I have said here? Pull it together for me. I seem to have forgotten. This is the tune of real survival. This is why all people from all walks, all individual tortures, are still interested in community. You find the punk, or it finds you with a crackle of knuckle. It's why cult survivors exist, past being kept like abused animals. Because you will not die at the end. You won't. How do I know this?

Did you fucking read, or were you fucking tone-deaf?

Here it is, though, because I'm being nice: global racial capitalism is a cult with death at the end of it. And you must know by now I am not unique. Because even the worst person alive, objectively, by anybody's standard, got here somehow. And I have killed myself to care. I have tortured myself. I have. I have killed myself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over because ultimately when the rubber really hits the fucking road I believe Ajin: Demi-Human is an relatively optimistic story, because those who have learned to resurrect themselves at will will always be interested in the good fun. Samuel "Satou" Owen is my favorite white-ish man in Japanese manga. This is because, like me, the Ajin writers and drawers were wise: they did not name the unknown substance that brought everybody back to life. They merely places an man obsessed with ways of living, at all costs, in front of it.

Satou-san is a white-Chinese man. He is mixed. What does this tell you? It tells me this: he is of movement. This means he has two feet. If he has two feet, and he is bipedal, and he can wield a gun with the mastery of a guy with chef's tools but in a forest instead of a well-stocked and furnished kitchen, this means he is a person. He likes to fuck around and find out. His white-american father failed to stop him. Why: did he fail in his task because he did not love him? The Ajin makers are clever: they had his white man of a father beat him, first, and then, later, quite quickly, demonstrate that he was a father first, because Samuel's father apologized for hitting him, because he wants to know his son is a wonderful person, and Samuel, so young, a child, stood there, alone, with a smile on his face, dead animals around him and blood on his hands, probably caked under his fingernails.

So now I wonder what it would take for Samuel "Satou" Owen to go back home.

I will write on this - cuz I do be writing - but I'll give you an interesting thought here, because this is what I offer, relief that feels like a slice that cauterizes the wound on the way: Satou's father did not fail in loving him. He failed because he was too kind.

I will teach Satou-san what it looks like to be brutal, but with compassion. And I won't kill him - now why would I do that? Ain't he the most lethal demi-human immortal freak Japan and da rest of the world has ever seen? He came from the United States originally. He only ended up in Japan because he is a video game freak. It's not because he's crazy: it's because, actually, he likes to have fun.

This is why he refuses to take his life so unseriously: he felt the universe slot another coin into his piggy bank. The universe must be interested in him for a reason. Life in the universe needs no reason. It's how we got here anyway. Now you must see the conspiracy? This is why the researcher who named "IBM (Invisible Black Matter)" was called insane and asked for the cigs in his car when three fingers, one by one, were cut off his left hand. He was being serious. So now I ask: will you fucking play?

Those who read of medias that show off their gore, turned like stones, with fresh worms underneath, in that rich, rich dirt: c'mere. You know exactly what I be talking about. Ajin: Demi-Human dances on the grave of Shounen by placing a non-traditional protagonist in the path of a traditional shounen protagonist and Does not make them fight. Instead: they are made to collaborate. Now how were they made to do this? Because at the core of each, was a compassionate core, and so every character was interested in each other as a person.

Read Ajin. It dances. To a music that few hear. Because it takes skill. It is not like Jiu-jitsu Kai-sen. It was not made to be a franchise, because it sought to honor its people that lived in the narrative. The cost: it will never be popular. It is why its second season is the way it is. This is the cost that Ajin's makers incurred. And they incurred it anyway. I have heard them without ever speaking to them personally. This is my skill. So now it is my offering.

Gege Akutami failed in his task to honor Gojou. Do you wanna hear why now? Or am I being registered, like a smaller gong amidst all the gongs of dehumanization right now?

Hey, fans of the Golden Kamuy - y'all get it most, for Sergeant Tsukishima is a secondary character and he has earned many delicious, life-affirming fics on that One and Only site. Each one I've really read got at it hard. Tsukishima writers and lovers and comrades in arms: Do you hear me, or will I go unheard like I have seven years ago?

Will I die, or will you die first? I won't. So Now the question is: will you?

I think, but first, I choose to believe in this one thing: all people know exactly what I am talking about. Because you were born. And now you will die, because empires have never been interesting. They generate dead bodies for a reason. They never have to say anything to dead people. Because, again, they are dead, and there's no way to bring them back to life. That is why eradication is strategic, and that is why slow deaths are more interesting, because it's quite hard to kill somebody without a gun, and so serial killers invent fresh ways to do it - wanna know why? Cuz they be bored, just like I am, watching them do it and choose it like a abused dog might with its ragdoll of a chew toy.

We see the dead people. One of my parents decided to become a doctor, practicing zhongyao, purely because he saw the way his grandfather died. Do you understand the acceleration of skill to mobilize thought to action? He spent 10 years putting himself through his chosen torture - medical school. Or will you sit there, mute in your dead body shame, so totally unmoved you are disturbed by almost anything? Why don't you find a corner in the world where you won't suffer for it. You can try. The last person who went to outer space came back and said never mind, it's actually all here and this is really it.

You can try the ocean. Elon Musk didn't. Wanna know why? It's because the hard, the really, really, truly, back-breaking work, is never done by the toddlers in power.

So now I wonder if Noor Hindi is well. The answer is no. Why?

Will you ask me to repeat what I've just said, or will you Read:

Dr. Alreer said: if I must die, then let me be a story. Of what?

Of what?

We all come from matter. We all know when things die, the matter doesn't disappear. This is some kinda physics law. Astrophysics too. Supernovas and lesser deaths of stars generate elements that compose matter. So do stars when they come into being. Sure. The Ainu peoples knew it first, as did every other peoples native to a land who did not seek to immediately obliterate it. Because they were first interested in their survival, and in that: how to keep surviving. Anyways, this is interesting. Because this means while we are alive at the same time, we are negotiating it all the time. This is why Stands and Jojo's Bizarre's Adventure is Bizarre and so fucking fun. It dances, and it dances visibly. It is called drag. It is called performance for the purpose, on purpose, for interesting reasons. It's why Kujo Jotaro did not die until his daughter would, because he protected her, and she protected him, and they died, but their friend, truest witness, went and finished the task given to him. And so they still lived. So it is bizarre. Everything probably is. It's why people are so interested in convenience, in that quick fix, in that hit of ketamine, in those shortcuts, in taking their lives less seriously, because they already know how serious it is to live in a world like ours, and they already know just how hard it is to meet each other where they are at, because they have struggled in meeting themselves where they are at, which is the deepest fucking pit unique to them, for they are being tortured, even as we speak, because it is individual: but it is not unique. Because I have been tortured. And I am still here, speaking with you.

So are you gonna fucking participate in derogatory theatre, or are you gonna wait till someone like me comes over and whips you where it really hurts? For those who are hung: you know. For those who aren't: too bad, you've got a throat.

For those who don't: we know what happened to them, don't we. They don't get livestreamed. DRC is silent because they cannot make it a football game. People are dead, dying, and are being disabled from living.

So now you either speak, or you remain silent, or as Baldwin said it: uninitiated, or unactivated, or as Morrison said: un-artful. If you do, remain silent or quiet or whatever that really chafes you right now, then you will never know what Audre Lorde was saying when she said We Were Never Meant to Survive. Do you know the three ways to survive in a ruined world, or did Ocean Vuong say it already and you simply refused to clock it and let it travel inside you like a missile that hit Vietnam all those decades ago?

This is the risk I incur. So now I evoke all those who have aided in my survival. I know I am not alone. Do you know why there was not 1 dragon leftover, in ATLA? Because if there was one left, it would not have come out of its cave. It would have stayed there, forever, until it perished. So Zuko's uncle made sure there were 2. Am I understood, or do you see that when I open my mouth and see red, every color of life is evoked? The sun god folks in that iconic scene know exactly what I am talking about. It is why they keep the original fire burning for thousands of years, and this is why one of them looked at Zuko and joked about the masters (real) chewing him up, and their leader said shut up but did not say he was wrong. Because he wasn't.

Their leader does something nice here, which he is by no means obligated to do, but does, because he knows he is not free to abandon it like the sleeper agents have: hey, you might die if you do this. Will you still do it?

That is the risk you incur by coming after me. I make enemies. But first, because I am an dragon originating of the East Asians: I know exactly who my friends are, first. All I ask is for you to not act stupid.

If you insist: well. When the LONG opens its maw, you will be right to be terrified. Why do TIGERS have teeth if not to use them? Praise the knife that goes through the PEAR for you, or you will not eat well tonight, and if you do: know that it will not last.

Karma simply does not come quick enough. That's A-OK. The universe prefers slowness. So now I dance. I gave to it my sixieth spiritual death and it has finally snickered instead of dragging my face through the fucking dirt, asking me to open my mouth and taste the worms which dance in the rain with their entire bodies. It's why they writhe. Now when I laugh it laughs through me and seems genuinely pleased. But what I care about most is this: that I have gotten so good at what I need to do, and what i Want to do, that Nanami Kento now merely inclines his head and walks beside me. And this: that Toji merely glances an eye at me and lifts his chin, smiling, crazed at the edge of pleased, and asks me anyway, despite full knowing in all his rage and all his cool dead & dying & disabled body discernment: hey, how are we gonna fuck em up today?

Treacherous cunt.

I am not a spiritual person. I've merely died spiritually enough times for me to have to use the academic word for it. In me I have, first: the people who saw and shielded me - second: the people who taught me, dancing to their own survivals. I am the friend of Bob. The one who told me to keep writing. Bob, I am proud, and I know you are proud of me. Hey, hi, hello.

This is my dream. My friends are a dream. All of them are. One by one they have stood, and they have stood alone, and now I am there beside them.

I honor all those who aid in my survival. Face me when you shoot me in the fucking face. This is why union leaders are assassinated in their beds, with pregnant people right beside them. This is why small children in the first formally livestreamed eradication campaign call the men in tanks cowards, and mice, because that little girl was just that fun, that interesting. This is why Sugimoto Saichi, at the very beginning of his story/dance, he hesitated when that wounded animal came out and charged him, desperate and mobilized with all its might to clear a path to its survival. Because he saw and he understood in less, but it was still too late. So that is why Asirpa said let me take the shot next time, if you can't do it - in fact, don't even try. For we need heat to survive the winter. Dragons of the East are interested in one thing, and that is people, not god. We come when called. We come when uncalled. It is why we show ourselves when people of a land need rain. 's also why we show ourselves when people of a land don't think they need shit. Do you understand the level of discernment required to do this? My judgement is not divine. I don't give a rat's shit about God. Wanna guess what I give a shit about?

A rat's ass.

But just so you don't the wrong idea, because that is what personally pisses me off the most: I don't believe in God, but I believe in you.

How is this possible? Because I had a parent, and in her, she was a dragon, and she has evoked it enough times, at all the critical moments, for me to follow her example. I will incur the risk now. I have always taken risks, because I've seen what it takes to safeguard and then nurture and then, perhaps, cultivate a life. I was born into the year where dragons have danced and they saw me and I have seen them, and you really should be thinking about Zuko not being stricken down by the last 2 dragons of his time by now. My father is a rabbit - he knows how to respect the world, so that he is to be respected if he cannot be loved. And he still chose to care for me, a weakling. He still chooses it: for we played a poker game, just once, after majiang, and he saw how I dealt my last card and thus understood my entire play and he looked me in the eye when he said:

Don't do that again.

So now I incur the risk. Because I know the cost of what it means to survive in a place like this. The world. The world. People get hurt here.

Duh. Richard Siken is needed no longer. He has said what has needed to be said. He writes, and I write too. I pick it back up, the dead thing at the end of the road. Because in order for it to be dead, it must have been killed.

So I will incur the risk. You are welcome to join me. The time to wait has been over since the first people(s) said, fucking shit fuck help! help! and nobody came, or if they did, they still ended up dying anyway.

i have never been interested in living forever. people who do are interested in having fun. the rest are idiots. the people who have fun usually die first - it is why aang's entire people was eradicated from this earth, from that fiction lifeworld. so now i find it more interesting when the people who have the most fun don't die - and that is why Toji of JJK is ketamine to people. from everywhere. from all walks of life. do you want to know why JJK is popular now, everywhere? I will tell you why now. Because I am being nice, and I am interested in your surviving, your continuous survival, your real tunes. Because I would prefer to be your friend rather than your enemy, but you make your choices, and I will make mine.

Here it is the truth: it is because JJK is interested, at least initially, in what it would look like to wield overwhelming power responsibly, which is to say: meaningfully. It is why Gojo is Japan's animation poster boy right now. He always did like to fuck around and find out. And he found out, didn't he - he found out that his own creator gave up respecting his principles to serve franchise interests, the grinding acceleration of that kind of selected - and chosen - giving in. It is a death. I have grieved it.

Now I stand here, alone.

Now I ask : who is interested in seeing Gojo Satoru still alive, even knowing that he has failed in his task to do what he said he did? Is it because of him, as a character, as a person who lived within the narrative, or is it because of the narrative that either enables or disables his real and true living?

One of the oldest people in my life said this to me recently: I personally believe that there are no shitty characters. Only a story that no longer suits them.

Will you be a story that I can live in?

Or will you be a story that makes me want to come after you and demonstrate to you, selectively, intimately, how you have betrayed me?

Will you, or won't you?

Kong Si-Woo is calling me now. Sorry. Bye. Gong Si-U is the best negotiator I know, and he's telling me to take a break. You can't solve everything by your self, he is saying. That's why you pick your men carefully. And he has chosen. Do you know who he choose?

He chose Toji.

Toji survived after he left the torture pits in that family clan of his.

First, he ended the life of every cursed beast in the family's torture pit to relish the fact he could do it, perfectly alone. His solitude earns the survival of Zenin Maki, and thus the survival of her sister, Zenin Mai.

Second: he met someone who was curious about him there, also perfectly alone in one of the most inhospitable places alive, already similar by then, and earned his respect, unyielding for some reason not known to him, personally, but his ass is shown to me because I have tapped it and I liked the sound that came back.

This is because Kong Si-Woo and Toji have a 10-year history. Adults at that age, making new friends? Color me delighted.

Third: in earning the Korean man's respect: he earned the capacity for real trust, the kind that marks actual fucking solidarity. And then Toji, scorned Japanese man he is, lived for 10 more years with Kong Si-Woo near him and by him, because these are men who when they are killed will live on, until Toji fucked around and found out for the last time --- until, of course, the story itself brings him back to meet his grown son.

Now I ask you: will you be respected, or will you be interested in what real enabling, at all costs, looks like?

Will you give a shit the way Toji does, or will you give a shit the way Nanami does? Will you move the way Sugimoto does, or will you simmer quietly like a jar of moss like Qingming, pirated Dream of Eternity: Yin-Yang Master, softspoken and brutal in his withholding? Will you have fun like Satou Samuel Owen, or will you earn the respect and thus relieve the responsibility of Nagai Kei, at age 17, willingly took on because he saw clearly the danger Satou posed to every normal person alive on the planet, and decided for himself that he would end it now.

Will you be tortured like Suzaku Kururugi, so complete, fans of Code Geass feel it even today, or will you take decisive action to bring the very structures of the Jiujutsu Sorcerer's World down by disavowing the only child you've named for blessing, just so he could have a headstart?

Which character will you relieve of their responsibilities? Can you tell who needs it the most? Do you know what I'm saying here? I am saying I do not need Nanami Kento anymore and he has never needed me to speak. This is because he died in Shibuya, and I am glad he did, because Gege Akutami's writing abilities did too. I would not have survived the Nanami's badly written death the way I could survive Gojo's. Gege must have detected this in some way: he must, even with his franchise of an empire, because even a franchise of an empire comes from people: because he waited to kill Gojou, because he knew everybody seemed to like him, and genuinely love him, in many many lands, and what he did was brutal, and it was genuinely cruel: he bisected Gojou in half instead of blowing a hole through him despite putting him in Toji's killer fit.

It means Akutami was done with Gojou's character, and discarded his personhood, and gave his fans and comrades and enemies crumbs. Enemies of Gojo savored it: but they understood its brutality, and rejoiced because finally the biggest dick did win, as they foretold, because they foretold the death cult that is global racial capitalism, because they have survived, and they don't want anybody else to except for themselves, and their friends, of course. Even our enemies have friends. What does this tell you: it means everybody has the capacity to understand tragedy. Indeed, Everybody else simply understood it for tragedy. Now there's nothing wrong with a nice tragedy.

But is it interesting? Toni Morrison looked me in the eye in one of her interviews and I will tell you what she said to me: she said once you have gotten the jobs you have all trained so beautifully for, you must now go and free someone else. This is not a grab-bag candy game.

Now here's the thing about TRUE FICTION: AND TRANSFORMATIVE FICTION: we can bring him back.

I will do it. Anyway, I will do it. Why? Because I know what it takes to complete a story and respect a character's personhood. Because I learned how to draw first, and then I figured out how to write. Each time, it was a person who bestowed it to me. So now I read Dungeon Meshi and trill with delight. Now she gets it. So now I reread DOROHEDORO!!! Now this one too, she knows it. So now I follow Witch Hat Atelier, not only interested but believing in its conclusion: for Shimomura knows exactly how to dance to make her people dance, too. This is a skill.

Will you dance. You. Hey. Hello. I ask you now: Will you fucking dance? If so, come here. I protect all other/Othered animals. But first, you must show me your teeth, and then second, you must make it known to me you are not my enemy. For I am not god. I am merely a person born into dragon year. So now whenever I open my mouth, I do it knowing the whole world will listen. I stand alone, and I will go unheard, or I won't, and then: I will either be killed, or I will change people along the way. I don't mind either results. Because right now, Tosaki, the man with the mints and the cigarette and the crisp white suit, from Ajin: DEMI HUMAN is my favorite fucking character.

He dies at the end, by the way. He dies with no regrets. I seek to follow him.

Hey - Aaron Bushnell. I evoke your name to evoke your death, because your last words were Free Palestine and you chose to do it, standing there, perfectly alone, despite wanting to become a software engineer, transitioned out of active duty.

You have done your duty. I got it from here. I will not fail Hind Rajab again. Trust me, I won't. You plug it in right by me, or I will know. Now isn't that the real fun?

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hibbeln · 4 months ago

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Hi! I saw you take suggestions for the tarot cards, and if Death isn’t decided yet, I think Aurora/Zelda II’s princess would be a cool one. Maybe the moment of her sitting up from bed (since tarot death is change and this is the moment where she is both dead ((she was put to sleep sooo long ago her life is functionally over)) AND alive and changing ((she was protecting her kingdom and now it’s safe! A cute hero boy saved her and it’s a new day in a land that might now begin to heal)).

I saw the Time card and I was SO captivated by it so I looked at all of them and how super cute they are, and then I got to botw link’s and it’s like- of course you get a haunting one. After obsessing over how much I like how you’ve depicted the blood moon sky and the gloom hand grabbing him I thought about him being the hanged man and how much I respect the choice to NOT have him be death, and then I’m like “but waking up in the shrine tho. Dimly lit and brand new and visibly ravaged.” And then I was like- wait there’s literally a Zelda who already did this. OG cursed to sleep bc she refused to give up.

I’m realizing how long this is so shutting up now tldr; I’m a big fan of the LoZ art going on here. A normal amount. Also maybe consider adventures of link Zelda for death if it pleases you?? I love you bye

Oh my gods, thank you so much!!! I'm so happy to see you're enjoying this, I love hearing what you all think!

I was really in doubt about the Death card, the first idea that came to me months ago was to do it with Dark Link, but now that I started thinking more about the other cards in general I concluded that it wouldn't match the meaning of the card. I didn't even remember Aurora!

This makes so much sense, I really like it, it feels right! Thank you so much for your support and for all your love <333

#linked universe #loz #linked universe fanart #tarot cards

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bigmouthlass · 2 months ago

Text

Title: Artificial Lullabye

Series: Supernatural B-Sides

Author: BJ

Fandom: Supernatural

Rating: Teen

Pairing: John Winchester/Mary Winchester

Synopsis: We all know Hey Jude is what Mary sang to her babies as a lullabye. It's a good choice, you can na-na forever until the kid calms down. John, being half a macho bastard and with different tastes in music, would probably sing something a little bit different.

Tags: John Winchester, Mary Winchester, Baby Dean, Songfic, Teething Babies Are Evil, John's Not A Complete Bastard

AN: Song is "Hootchie Cootchie Man," written by Willie Dixon and covered by Steppenwolf on their self-titled album. Before anybody says anything, Mildred Winchester's Universal Teething Cure isn't recommened because alcohol is poison-- use whatever gum medicine your pediatrician recommends. All recognizable intellectual properties are owned by their respective creators and holders of any copyrights or trademarks. This is a not-for-profit work of fan art and protected by Fair Use.

---

Asleep on his feet, John shuffled down the hall towards the shrieking of all the damned souls of Hell. Funny, he reflected, of all the times Mary had threatened to run away and join the circus since having the baby, it was only after the little fiend started teething that he'd started to worry she might actually do it. Funny too, of all the skills bashed into his head in Basic the ability to function while effectively dead was proving most useful in life as a husband and father.

Making shushing noises, John crossed the nursery to the crib under the window, where his firstborn son wailed in agony to the heavens above. If angels really were watching, poor bastards must be getting an earful. "C'mere, Deano," John said, lifting Dean and settling him on his chest. Did the little rat calm down in the protective circle of his father's arms, lulled by the steady beat of a heart under his tiny pink ear? Hell no. Assured of a captive audience, Dean screamed straight into John's ear. "Thanks kiddo, I can still hear out of that side," he muttered dryly. "Let's go downstairs before your mother wakes up and bitches me out. Again."

Down in the kitchen, John held Dean in one arm and used the other to assemble Mildred Winchester's Universal Teething Cure-- a glass of Four Roses on the rocks. He dipped his finger into the chilled bourbon and slipped the finger into Dean's tiny mouth. He winced as Dean bit down with his sharp new teeth. Three on top and two on the bottom so far. The demon spawn that had replaced his placid infant son had already drawn blood with the damned things. God help him, John had come close to slapping Mary when she smacked Dean's nose while feeding him the other day. He hadn't gotten it until she'd shown him the tiny tooth cuts on her nipple.

"Lesson number one," John said, massaging his cold whiskey-moist finger against Dean's feverish gums, "is real men never hurt girls. Especially not that one." Another dip and thank all the heavenly blessings Dean's howling tapered to sniffles. A frozen waffle for gnawing and a quick wipe with John's handkerchief, Dean looked almost himself again, peering out at the world with his huge green eyes. His paternal grandmother's eyes, and didn't Mom just love that? Not like his own dark brown eyes -- a gift from Grandpa Solomon -- or Deanna Campbell's aquamarine.

He frowned. For some reason, when he tried to think of meeting and talking with his in-laws, the memories felt strange in his head. Like he'd been high at the time.

Hah. Show up to the Campbell house bombed equals fancy way to scrag yourself. Samuel Campbell had detested John on sight and John knew full well he'd never wavered from that judgement.

Dean started to fuss. "Sorry Deano," John said, bringing his attention back to the present. "Just me thinks."

John drank off the whiskey and stuck the glass in the sink. Upstairs, he changed Dean and started to put Dean down in the crib. Dean let out a little whine and John sighed. On top of everything else, the boy was a slow sleeper. Putting him straight down was just asking for a repeat performance. "Can't never make things easy on your old man," he sighed, blissfully unaware of the coming years in which the scrap in his arms would become his only barricade between sanity and madness. John settled Dean with his son's little face in the crook of his neck and shoulder and started pacing. The Impala would put him under in a New York Minute, but he'd exchange a crabby baby for a crabby wife, and given a choice--

Well it wasn't like Mary was the only one of them who could run away and join the circus. Maybe they could drop Dean off at Mom's and make it a mutual thing. Goodbye son, hello sequined tights. See ya when he hits college.

"Gypsy woman told my mother . . . 'fore I was born . . . you gotta boychild comin' . . . gonna be a real sonofagun . . ." John sang under his breath, keeping his steps short and gently bouncing to the blues riff. "Gonna make the pretty womens . . . jump and shout," God it was a fucking miracle, Dean lay quiet in John's arms, waffle forgotten in his mouth, wide eyes turned up to John. John grinned.

"Cuz you know I'm him . . ." he did a little reverse-step. "EVER-ry body knows I'm him . . ." remembering Mary feather-light in his arms as they danced at that old honky-tonk outside Jackson, Steppenwolf blaring from the jukebox and realizing he'd fallen like a sack of mail. "I'm your hootchie-coochie man . . ." God, Dean's little baby smile looked a lot like Mary's, sweet but with that edge, the one that told the world screw around with me at your own risk, "everybody knows I'm here."

He stuck to humming the next verse, and if he threw in a few dancing twirls nobody but God had to know. If it got Dean to Dreamland he'd drop trou and do the funky chicken.

Yeah, John thought to himself, holding his son a little tighter. No tinny music box tinkling out a cheap dime replica of a lullaby for his kids. No disappearing into thin fucking air out of fucking nowhere, leaving Dean alone to be the man of the house. It still blew John's mind that one day the tiny thing cuddled into him will be a man someday.

Just love him, Johnny, Mildred had told him, the first time she held her grandson in her arms. Start with that and the rest will follow.

"Yes ma'am," John muttered. "On the seventh hours . . . on the seventh day . . . the seventh month . . . seven doctors say . . ."

Mary cleared her throat from the doorway and John looked over his shoulder, meeting her tired smile with his own and holding a finger in front of his lips. "He was born for good luck . . . and that you will see . . ." Gentle as though he were disabling a landmine, John laid a snorting Dean down in the crib. "I got seven hundred dollars, so don't you mess with me." Dean let out a couple sleepy squirms and settled, his mouth curved in a tiny baby smile. John chuckled a little. Put it next to his Vietnam Service Medal-- I made my kid smile.

Turning to his wife, John pitched his voice low. Suggestive. "But," he pointed at Mary, "you know I'm him," Mary smothered a laugh with one hand, "everybody knows," John jerked a thumb back at himself, "I'm him. I'm your hootchie-cootchie man," his arm went around Mary. John kissed her neck where it made her giggle, breathing in her scent of clean hair and soft perfume and just a hint of milk, "Everybody knows, I'm him."

Mary checked on Dean. She gave John a thumbs-up and tiptoed out.

"Should we ever tell him why you're singing that to him?" Mary asked.

John grinned. "Sure. When he's old enough to learn how to drive it." Maybe they should make a pilgrimage to the bridge they'd been parked underneath that night. He kissed Mary and pulled her close.

Mary melted under his touch for a few delicious minutes, then gently urged John still. She yawned. "Down boy."

"Yes ma'am." Hand in hand, they went back up the hallway.

One whole step. Then from behind they heard the tattletale tiny whines and snorts. John shut his eyes and said something he picked up from the Island. Mary rolled her eyes heavenword and said something she got from her sailor uncle. Dean made up in volume what he lacked in vocabulary.

Mary looked at John. John looked at Mary. Together, they weighed their love for one another and their love for their son.

John threw Paper, Mary threw Rock. Groaning, Mary turned on her heel and went to confront the Beast. John stood and just listened for a long moment. A corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. Up to his neck in picket fence wholesomeness and it felt good.

I'm a high school dropout who doesn't amount to much, John said to himself. And I'm going to have to make it up as I go. But I swear my son will grow up knowing what a man should be, because I'm going to be right there to show him. Dean I promise-- you'll never doubt how much your daddy loves you. Not ever.

---

Four years later, John will sit on a cot in a fire station with a howling infant and a silent little boy, the last of his wife leaving him as the smell of smoke fades from his clothes. Dean still has Sammy in his arms and is pacing and bouncing, the way he's seen Mary do when Sammy fusses but of course he's pacing too fast and bouncing too hard. He's too young to know babies need finesse. The John Winchester that would've picked up both his boys and held them close is disappearing too and somehow Dean knows it. John doesn't do anything but stare at nothing as the fire department's secretary coaxes Dean into slowing down. She reshapes Dean's arms to cradle Sammy properly and shows him how to sway in that special soothing way. John can't do anything but be distantly grateful. At least Sammy's calming down.

Both of his sons will say later that for all intents and purposes John died when he found Mary burning alive over Sam's crib. The reality is, John died when the secretary turned the radio on Low and his children spent their first night without their mother falling asleep to an artificial lullabye.

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AN2: Wow, this went to an angsty place. I just re-watched S8E12, 'As Time Goes By,' and it explains a lot about John-- why he made the choices he did, why he absolutely refused to home-base the boys with Pastor Jim or Bobby, and why he never really acknowledged the damage he was doing to his sons. It's the question people raised by troubled parents have to grapple with all their lives; John did the best he could, but how much does that justify? Or excuse?

#supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #baby dean #songfic #john's not a complete bastard #teething babies are evil #bj's fic library #sam winchester #supernatural b-sides

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goron-king-darunia · 1 month ago

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Annon-Guy: Thoughts on the songs from Shadow The Hedgehog (Game)?

"I Am (All of Me)" perfectly encapsulates, to me, everything they're trying to get across with what the main game themes are. The capacity for both great good and terrible evil inside all of us, and the specific struggle Shadow has to face in deciding how to direct his immense power. It's all coated in that Edgy Branding that Shadow built up. I think the only criticism I can give it is that in order to parallel the first and second verses, the rhyme scheme is limited and sounds a little amateurish. That said, it is a video game for teens, it doesn't have to be high art in order to be a good game, and toying too much with the phrasing to get other rhymes to work wouldn't necessarily make it better. It's just an unfortunate result of having to use the particular rhyme scheme over. The game hits you with an absolute banger right out of the box. I approve.

I wasn't a fan in my younger days of either the deep rumbling vocals or the higher pitch more gravely growls in "Almost Dead." I appreciate them a bit more now, but I still find it hard to decipher the lyrics, even knowing what they are, because they meld together with the harsher blown out electric guitar. I understand these are staples of the Metal Genre, but it's why I'm more into power metal and symphonic metal over straight heavy metal a lot of the time. That said, it works surprisingly well as a dark theme. Part of the appeal of a game where you can choose to be good or evil, even though the choice largely doesn't matter in the broader context of this game given the true ending, is that feeling of righteous anger and getting to unleash your fury and rage. But the morbid lyrics almost beg you to question that. Shadow isn't really happy going down this dark path. The lyrics signal a sort of resignation to a fate where he's hated by others and can't trust the people he fights beside and feels caught in the middle of two sides of a world he can't relate to. Which brings us to...

"Waking Up." A guilty pleasure of mine and definitely where I would have put my vote in the poll if it wasn't for "All Hail Shadow." Waking up feels much more like Shadow indulging in a righteous anger. Teen me loved this song and when we were picking songs in Dance Class, this is one I put forward as something we could choreograph to. Didn't end up happening but man, it would have been rad. Works tremendously as the neutral end theme. It really hammers in that this is Shadow doing things for himself. While his goals may occasionally align with someone else's, he's ultimately out here to break anything he feels like if he thinks it will get him answers. Slay, king.

Unironically, "The Chosen One" was a theme I once arranged for a poetry assignment in English class to "write a song about what it feels like to be a teenager. Edgy as fuck and cringe as hell. I had so much power being unlimited cringe back then. That said I do think the song resonated with me for a reason. Besides the broader experience of chūnibyō (中二病), with that obnoxious anime protag phase I absolutely had, I do think the main sentiment of the theme of inheriting a responsibility I wasn't aware I signed up for by being born and having to move forward in a world that I suddenly understand is imperfect. Teenage years are about slowly easing into adulthood and realizing that childhood magic is largely a gift bestowed upon you by the adults in your life and that being a teenager is a sticky place where you have the rights of a child but are shouldering more of the responsibilities of an adult.

You get exposed to a lot of problems of the adult world and have no real experience to realize that even the stuff that looks easy on the outside is complicated, so you get this idea as a teen that either you're the smartest person to ever exist and being a teen is so unfair because if adults would just let you take a crack at it you could *totally* fix things (delusions of grandeur) or you see this yawning void of joyless drudgery and realize it's all too much for you so suddenly and you're being asked to help contribute to a world you barely understand and it's 3 AM and you're gaming even though you have school later and realize that your future, at least if you want a better world, is going to be picking up the pieces in the aftermath of problems you didn't create and you feel like a lamb to slaughter (this is mostly depression, I think.) It's coming to terms with imperfect parents, realizing you're alive against your will and it's nobody's fault, coming to terms with your own imperfections.

For Shadow it's a much more direct lyrical connection. It's him coming to terms with the fact that he was created with a specific purpose that he's being expected to fulfill, even though he doesn't have a full understanding of his past and himself. It's him realizing that he has to inherit the purpose he was born for and the life his past self led, including the harm he did in SA2 and during the events of Shadow The Hedgehog as well in order to remember even a fraction of who he is and what he has to do. The almost mournful wailing of the guitar in this alt-rock masterpiece and that uncertain synth droning vibration ending honestly carry so much. Absolutely a number 3 pick. Ratatosk DotNW could have had a vibe like this and it would have been so cool. Shadow stepping the fuck up and realizing even if he doesn't understand everything fully, that he still needs to make the right choice for the good of humanity, even though he's doomed to be, basically, alone in this task forever because he's functionally immortal. Absolute king shit and I love me a sad boy with a god complex, even if that sad boy is a 50+ year old alien hedgehog alien.

Crush 40 absolutely crushing it with "All Hail Shadow." My top pick. Unironically feels more like a vengeance song than the dark theme does. Shadow is in his element and this is audibly a triumphant song, but the lyrics are almost DANGEROUS. This is Shadow absorbed in the absolute euphoria of being able to justify all his pain by throwing down against an enemy he doesn't fully understand. He's been given blanket permission by the "good guys" to throw hands and he is more than happy to take them up on that opportunity. This song is "fuck it, we ball" at its finest. Shadow the Hedgehog woke the fuck up, couldn't remember a goddamn thing and went "neat, I fucking hate this but since there's nowhere else to go but up, let's fucking GO." The song unironically feels like a reward for being a goodie two-shoes without making you take off your edgy dark eye-shadow and goth/scene/emo clothing. The game is about an edgyboy shooting guns and driving vehicles and smashing everything in the way, so the song does lean a bit heavy on the glorifying violence aspect, even lyrically, but dear god. This is Shadow and the player wallowing in the euphoria and power fantasy of being given permission to raise hell. Delicious. 10/10 no notes.

"E.G.G.M.A.N." is a remix that almost lives up to the original. The extra synth and cutting the original vocals together to up the scat factor that showed up at the tail of the original rendition and cutting the lyrics as a whole down to just the essentials is honestly an incredible move. Keeps everything good about the original and amps up some of the parts that needed attention. Maybe it's the rose-tinted goggles, but the original will always be better in my opinion. But holy crap this is how you do a remix, especially considering that Eggman goes back to being a background character in this game rather than a playable and focal character like he was in SA2. Chef's kiss.

"Never Turn Back" is absolutely a baller ending theme. The sad reprise of "All of Me" as part of the intro is a stellar move. Crush 40 is incapable of missing. Not as triumphant as "All Hail Shadow" but the more steady, almost shanty/worksong rhythm has such a rugged and determined feeling. This is confidence. Shadow has decided what he's about now and he's sticking to his guns from here on out. He's moving forward regardless of what's true or not, he's decided what he wants regardless of and independent from everyone else.

This is my first time learning the history behind "Broken." I did see the trivia about it being an unused hero theme because they couldn't get the rights in time. I'm actually kind of glad. "The Chosen One" being written especially for the game makes it more fitting anyway and it wouldn't exist without the mishap, but I can definitely see where they were going with "Broken" and it honestly gives me that same feeling "The Chosen One" does about, well, what being a teen felt like. Coming into your own identity, but still wanting to be approved of by others, or at least not hated for being who you want to be, and the tension that sort of thing creates.

The Music from Shadow the Hedgehog is honestly always going to sit in a foundational place in my core. Absolutely stellar stuff that hit my squishy brain at exactly the right time in my life to get wedged there permanently. An absolutely incredible track list.

#annon-guy2 #Shadow the Hedgehog #Sonic the Hedgehog #music analysis #opinions #character analysis #Answering this a wee bit late because life absolutely kneecapped me in the worst way recently #but I persist #I am going to kick life's ass back even harder I swear

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the-primordials · 2 months ago

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Those songs are fire🔥 i cant wait for my Primordial Goddess to wake up and get revenge and perhaps romance a certain succubus or maybe a summond hero turned goddess😘

Now onto my question will the MCs gender have any affect of how people view them? specifically the mortals and lesser gods since they have never met the MC?

Hi Anon thanks for the compliment, not a huge fan of AI, but if it's your own art(since it was my lyrics) it can be very helpful and extremely nice to use. Especially as it brought them lyrics to life. Anyway glad you enjoyed em.

Moving on, glad you have your eye on our two lost souls they definitely need some love. And revenge is always great especially when you can smack your enemies to death, lol.

As for the gender thing, yes. If you are female or male it will have quite the impact more so towards mortals than the gods. That's why I had to cut the Non-Binary(sorry everyone who prefered this gender 🙇‍♂️), so the gender would be more impactful, because it will be easier for me to track 2 variables than 3. Since I want personality, PC choices AND gender to have an impact story wise, so it's more vibrant and easier to combine(?)/become one with your character. Because I see IF games as an escape from reality, so writing my stories takes longer, because one I want the characters and PC to feel alive but also take you away from reality. And two I want a fleshed yet impactful story.(Also motivation and work, and having time play apart in my writing😅)

On that note, chapter 1 of The Primordial is done, it'd just needs coding and etc. But I'm chugging along hopefully this and my other IFs get those demo's before I'm dead 😂. (But the moment I get enough time and save enough money(exchange rate ain't kind to my country's currency 🥲) and hire a coder I promise to throw them demo's out.)

#q&a #info 4 u #anon answered #the primordials

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oflgtfol · 6 months ago

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Ive never read venom 2003 before https://oflgtfol.tumblr.com/post/751671883581325312/nvm-about-the-comments-people-are-unironically#notes and bc of this post i looked it up for the art style and. I like personally just barely tolerate it tho im somebody whose just Immune to this point to ugly art styles ive seen em all they cant hurt me anymore but my thing is like. Isnt venom 2003 a thing spoof? Like based off the thing??? Why did they get a hyper cartoony guy for this…. Like… huh… isnt it meant to be scary i heard???

ok so a few things

regarding the art style first:

venom comics are quite frankly full of ugly fucking art styles so i too am kind of immune to them. just like, any of the mid to late 90s venom solo comics were butt fucking ugly. HOWEVER. venom 2003 is a specific king of ugly that is particularly atrocious to me. just something about the noses, the lips, the jawlines, it's basically just the caricature art style??? but like, in a comic for some reason??? and i also really hate the caricature art style so much i don't understand why people A. make art in that style and B. pay others to make art of them in that style

but whatever. ugly art is very common in comics of all walks of life. it's fine. but the real kicker, and the real thing i was talking about that prompted me to make that specific post, is this fucking page:

i have such beef with this man over how he draws female characters. it is so needlessly objectifying and dehumanizing. like, the male characters get to just exist, but oh god, how dare a woman wake up from her slumber, we must must must depict her languid curves and the rotundity of her breasts !!! combine this very deliberate objectification with the stupid fucking pouty lips choice behind the art style in general, it's just so gross

and then, the icing on the cake was the comments on readcomiconline about that specific page from venom 2003:

(how dare you put the good name of sleeper symbiote to shame like this!!!!!!!!)

anyway, and moving onto The Thing spoof:

yeah so the "shiver" arc of venom 2003 (because this god forsaken comic run is separated into arcs for some fucking reason) was a riff on The Thing (1982). which, how dare you put the good name of The Thing to shame like this.

and like, i do really think that a symbiotes x thing crossover idea could work. a symbiote who goes rogue, who has no qualms with killing anyone around and doesn't care about its hosts, absolutely would basically be like The Thing and as a fan of body horror i'd love to see a take on symbiotes like that. instead of just oh big claw monster kills people, what about big goo alien assimilates you and rends you apart atom by atom !?!?!?!!? just wish it wasn't in the image of Venom Symbiote, my beloved babygirl who has never done anything wrong ever in its entire life

and yes, the body horror aspect of symbiotes x thing doesn't even hit correctly because the art style is just so atrocious. like, the body horror itself isn't grotesque because the art itself is grotesque, and not in any meaningful way. like Venom: The Hunger (1996) is also quite fucking ugly with its art style but its purposefully ugly - the muted, putrid colors with the heavy black shading are meant to be off-putting, to visually echo the frame of mind that symby, and by extension eddie, is in. because the whole story is about how symby is sick, so a putrid color palette feels sickly, and the grotesque shading makes every character look monstrous, because the sickness is warping their sense of reality and genuinely making them feel like they're surrounded by monsters. IT WORKS FOR THE STORY!!!! but venom 2003 it's just, plain bad art. it's cartoony, it's like a caricature, it does not lend itself to body horror on par with The Thing. caricature art styles are great for like, an uncanny valley feel, but that's not what venom 2003 is going for. it has the chutzpah to show rooms littered with dead bodies, but the art style is so fucking messy and chaotic that i literally cannot make sense of what i'm looking at, so therefore the horror of it doesn't hit me. there is no visual clarity or purpose and worst of all IT'S SEXIST and i hate it

#ask #Anonymous #v posting #the inker for these comics also worked on the asm spider island ones and i have the same beef with those fucking things as with this run #i actually thought it was the same artist in general but no i just looked it up theyre two guys #united only by a shared inker -__-#but very very similar styles regardless #so ok my beef doesnt lie solely so much on this one guy anymore BUT UGH !!!#omg i also thought this venom 2003 guy did spectacular spiderman 2003 BUT THATS ALSO THE SECOND GUY. THE ONE WHO DID SPIDER ISLAND???#ok so i have all my beef ON THAT GUY !!! fuck that guy #so then why the fuck do they have the same art style basically #comics posting

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kudosmyhero · 1 year ago

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Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 1) #140: Terror, part 4: Horror House

Read Date: January 25, 2023 Cover Date: April 2001 ● Writer: Doug Moench ● Penciler: Paul Gulacy ● Inker: Jimmy Palmiotti ● Colorist: James Sinclair ● Letterer: Kurt Hathaway ● Editor: Andrew Hefler ◦ Harvey Richards ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● Batman regains consciousness to Catwoman on top of him, playing with his mask; he grabs her hand before she gets any ideas about removing it ● interesting perspective--looking up Catwoman's nostrils… ● is Hugo Strange dead? I honestly don't know enough about the character to hazard a guess. But it's a comic book. People rarely stay dead. ● Ah, "Absonus" is Latin for Strange. That was the alias Strange used at Arkham Asylum. ● ooo, Batman almost let slip to Gordon that "the alley" has significance to him. Heh, and Gordon actually saw Batman leave this time. ● love that car

● yes, yes, solemn vow. we know. move on. ● huh. interesting that in his talk at his parents' grave, Bruce admits that even now he feels lost. he's usually a paragon of confidence, so it's nice when a little vulnerability creeps in like this ● Alfred 💜 ● cut to a woman waking up on a wooden floor (probably at the old mansion). there's a man near her, unconscious. ● woman's name is Charlene Connors, and the guy is Brad Simmons. they're surprised to see each other, but they know each other because they went to high school together ● yikes!

● that's fear toxin spewing from the eyes of a portrait hanging in the mansion ● ah, Jonathan Crane went to high school with them, too. they bullied him. ● (don't be a bully, kids, or the Scarecrow might get you!) ● cut to GCPD. Gordon is in his office with Batman. Beheading victim in the alley was Jason Bludhorn, also one of Crane's bullies ● on the roof, they alter the Bat Signal so that it summons Catwoman

● Catwoman gives info to Batman to help him try to find Scarecrow ● what she tells him doesn't actually help him… at least until she reveals she left a tracking device at the mansion

● back to Brad and Charlene, who are not having a swell time ● Batman arrives to the mansion… and Scarecrow knew about Catwoman's tracking device all along ● Batman enters, and bars drop down to cover the windows and doors ● Scarecrow doesn't use gas because he knows about Batman's nose filters, so he uses a dart… that gets Batman right in the face 😂 ● 👏👏👏

Synopsis: In the alley where his parents got killed, Batman lies on his back after Catwoman nearly knocked him out. Lasciviously, Catwoman sits on top of Batman and tells him that she had no choice to help Scarecrow but she is not Batman's enemy. Before she swings away, Catwoman also briefly mentions that Hugo Strange is dead.

Batman immediately meets with Captain Gordon who confirms that it was Hugo Strange who got Scarecrow out of Arkham Asylum. Batman wants to Gordon to contact him when he knows the identity of the young man whom Scarecrow decapitated.

After visiting the grave of his parents, Bruce Wayne orders Alfred to use more of his money to fund the Wayne Foundation which is helping crime victims.

Meanwhile, Charlene Connors and Brad Simmons both find themselves trapped in the house Scarecrow is using as a hideout. Both have been classmates of Jonathan Crane and have taunted him during his years in high-school. Now Scarecrow uses his fear toxin against them to finally get revenge.

Gordon tells Batman that Scarecrow's victim was connected to Crane's past and two other persons fitting this criteria have been abducted last night. To prevent another murder, Batman needs the help of Catwoman. Reluctantly, Gordon uses the Bat-Signal to contact her. Catwoman confesses that Scarecrow blackmailed her after discovering her secret identity. Batman offers a truce between them and because Catwoman left a tracer she is able to tell him where to find Scarecrow. But Crane did find the tracer and is already waiting for Batman to arrive. As soon as Batman enters the house, Scarecrow seals all exits and then he pierces Batman with a dart which probably is poisoned …

(https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Batman:_Legends_of_the_Dark_Knight_Vol_1_140)

Fan Art: the scarecrow by helioart

Accompanying Podcast: ● Batbooks for Beginners - episode10

#dc #dc comics #my dc read #podcast recommendation #comics #bruce wayne #batman #comic books #fan art #fanart #podcast - batbooks for beginners #legends of the dark knight

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linuxgamenews · 4 months ago

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Experience Horror and Yuri Romance in The Final Prize is Soup Visual Novel

The Final Prize is Soup horror yuri visual novel game is coming to both Linux and Windows PC. Thanks to 4noki's creative talents. Due to make its way to Steam next month. Indie publisher Quill Yuri is eager to announce the release of The Final Prize is Soup, a runner-up in the Spooktober Visual Novel 2023 contest, developed by 4noki. This horror yuri visual novel is due to be available for Linux, free, starting August 27th, 2024. It comes with Steam achievements, Steam Cloud support, and some great behind the scenes developer notes. In The Final Prize is Soup, you play as Hailu, a woman who wakes up dead after a messy breakup. She also has a chance to rewind time and avoid her fate, but there's a catch: she has to pass a series of deadly games in the afterlife.

The Final Prize is Soup - Steam Announcement Trailer

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Features:

Survival Choices: Your decisions will help Hailu either reach one of the two main endings or face numerous other deadly conclusions. Can you guide her to safety?

Love in Horror: Amidst all the chaos, Hailu finds herself drawn to the mysterious referee of the death games. And guess what? Her ex-girlfriend is also a contestant. Despite the terrifying situation, love might also be in the air.

Immersive Story: With around 45,000 words and 3-6 hours of gameplay, The Final Prize is Soup offers a nostalgic trip for fans of classic Japanese-style stories.

Stunning Visuals: Dive into the title with its anime-style character art, monster designs, backgrounds, and special CG illustrations. The visuals really bring the horror to life!

Original Soundtrack: Enjoy a beautiful, original soundtrack that perfectly captures the tense and eerie atmosphere.

Accessibility Options: Customize your reading experience with adjustable font sizes, typefaces, and more to make it comfortable and smooth.

If you're into horror or yuri visual novels, you can wishlist The Final Prize is Soup on Steam today to get notified when it launches on August 27th. The game will be free and available in English for Linux and Windows PC.

Why You Should Check It Out

The Final Prize is Soup isn't just another visual novel; it's a thrilling journey that combines horror. While offering romance and intense decision-making. You'll find yourself hooked on Hailu's journey, trying to make the right choices to keep her alive while exploring deep emotional connections. Plus, the stunning art and music make it an immersive experience from start to finish. So mark your calendars for August 27th and get ready to dive into a world where every choice matters. Whether you're a fan of horror, yuri, or just looking for a great story, The Final Prize is Soup is a must-play. And remember, it's free, so there's no reason not to give this horror yuri visual novel a shot. Get your Steam Wishlist ready and prepare for a memorable adventure in the afterlife with Hailu and the rest of the cast.

#the final prize is soup #yuri #visual novel #linux #gaming news #4noki #ubuntu #windows #pc #renpy #Youtube

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thedistantshoresproject · 2 years ago

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MEET THE CREW!

We thought it’s quite rude that after all this time, we didn’t even introduce ourselves. We are so happy to finally meet you!

THE PROGRAMMERS

TARES: Hi! My name is Tares, and I’m working on the programming. I figured this project would be a fun way to test and expand on my coding ability. My favorite Choices books/series are Perfect Match, The Elementalists, and With Every Heartbeat. Otherwise, you can learn more about me @enanomly.

THE EDITORS

ARI: I’m Ari! I just graduated with a BA in English and a Film minor, so I’m excited to put my skills to use by helping out with the editing. My favorite Choices book is It Lives in the Woods, but I like just about all of the old fantasy genre ones. Some of my favorite films include Narnia, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Lord of the Rings.

ANU: Hi, I’m Anu and I’m currently a university student and I’m delighted to be working for the project as a proofreader!nMy favourite Choices books are ES, It Lives Anthology, BOLAS and Veil of Secrets! In my free time I like to read or play video games and that’s about it! Tumblr Page

BRI: I’m Bri! I do editing. My favorite Choices books are Wake the Dead, It Lives, Distant Shores, The Elementalists, Nightbound, and Blades of Light and Shadow. My Instagram is @agreetodisagrigri, and I’m usually out hiking or climbing when I have free time!

THE ARTISTS

ANN: My name is Ann, and I'm currently the artist for The Distant Shores Project. My first LI was Oliver. This is my first time working on this type of project, and I'm looking forward to finishing it and being able to play it myself. I don't have any professional or college experience in art, but I do it as a hobby. I'm a fan of the following choices books: It Lives Anthology, BOLAS, DS, etc. I have made a fair amount of fan arts and fanfics of different fandoms. I also fancy a wide variety of genres from psychological thriller, to historical and fantasy. Some of which, Lord Of The Rings, Joker, Interview With The Vampire, and The Crown. Also, huge props to the captain of this crew for all of her efforts and hard work on the project. Tumblr Page

THE WRITERS

MO: Hi, I’m Mo! I’m currently working on my doctorate of physical therapy. I spend most of my free time writing and watching movies. My favorite choices book is BOLAS, although I have a soft spot for FA and D&D! Working on this project has been such a fun challenge for me! I have not written anything for Choices, but you can find my writing @queen-of-boops on Tumblr.

TYLER: My name's Tyler. I mostly do the writing for the MC+Charlie scenes, and contribute to other scenes as well. I can't help but always choose Charlie as my MC's love interest. On Choices, I've mostly just done our wonderful, and short-lived Distant Shores, and I've also played through The Royal Romance saga (Book 3 is the best of the series in my opinion). I've done fanfiction writing in the past. You can see some of my old work on FanFiction.net under my author name Tyrunner0097. I've written a few Mass Effect fanfics that were very well-received. When I'm not trying to regain my writing edge, I work as a Talent Acquisition Coordinator, living near Milwaukee WI. I have a girlfriend, we've known each other for almost 3 years, and have officially been dating for just over 1 year. My other hobby is community theater acting, and I usually try to do 2-3 plays per year. It's an honor to work on this fan-made sequel to Distant Shores, which we certainly deserve, and I hope we make it worthy of your liking.

YEGANE: Hey! I'm Yegane, one of the writers of project. I've some academic experience but I'm extremely glad to be included in the team and hope y'all enjoy it as much as we enjoy helping the project. I'm a loner who loves having friends but is bad at making one. I spend my time listening to music, playing VNs, practicing violin and watching movies with my partner. I'm not the best artist but I draw sometimes. I'm an Oliver romancer and I'm over the moon helping writing anything including his parts. Apart from DS I love a majority of Choices books but my picks are It lives series, BOLAS, COP, ES, VOS, TE, OH (Book1). Sherlock BBC has a place in my heart, and beside that my fav shows are Merlin, Mindhunter and Patrick Melrose. There's nothing more interesting about me, but UtterTrouble on reddit and tumblr is me.

THE FIRST MATE

JAMIE: Hey I’m Jamie. I’m the first mate on this project as well as a writer. I’m really excited for this project and hope y’all enjoy it. I have a degree in theatre performance, but I have no writing experience; however I’m open to trying new things. It’s also amazing to be the first mate on this project. I assist our captain and team with anything and everything. Other than DS, my favorite Choices stories are AVSP, BOLAS, TE, NB, and VOS. When I’m not working at Disney World, I love traveling, reading, writing, spending time with my four animals, exploring and going on adventures with my fiancé. I love making friends too, so: Twitter- JDittmer87 Tumblr- jdstar88 Wattpad-JamDStar88

THE CAPTAIN

CAITLIN: My name is Caitlin (or for those on the Choices subreddit, QueenShewolf), and I’m in charge of this phenomenal crew! I do a lot of writing with the Ed route and generalized plot for all routes, historical research, organize our communication methods and documents, do mock-ups in Illustrator, and manage this Tumblr page. I’ve been in graphic design for 10 years, and I’m hoping this project can expand my career as a writer and leader. My favorite Choices books (besides DS!) are BOLAS, TC&TF, and WTD with BSC is my wholesome guilty pleasure! I also write my own DS Sequels that I hope on publishing into an original work sometime in my life.

Caitlin and Jamie also moderate a DS Facebook Group where they have monthly meetings every 3rd Saturday at 8pm ET. If you ever want to meet them virtually or have any questions regarding the project, you can do so there too!

#thedistantshoresproject #distant shores #wordsfromthecaptain #pixelberry #choices pixelberry

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strawbxrryneptune · 4 years ago

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When We Fall

Warnings: Graphic sexual content including oral (Male and female receiving w 69) use of sir kink, light biting, pain kink, wing play, etc, mentions of suicide and character death, hints at cheating but it didn't happen, sacrilegious themes? I think?? You're fucking an angel so like,, that's pretty blasphemous lmao, fuckin in front of amirror, reverse cowgirl

It's gonna sound a little wonky at certain parts but bare with me, I'm bad at serious stuff.

^^Pictures do not belong to me !! I made the collage but the art is not mine^^

♡♡

Katsuki Bakugou never saw himself as worth saving. If he was dumb enough to fall behind, dumb enough to let things get too much, then it was on him.

If he was gonna be saved, it would be by himself. He didn't need anyone for anything. He told himself that for years, as a young angel in training, through his apprentice years, even now as a successful guardian.

He got this far by himself, why did he need anybody else? He didn't see that he was stuck. He couldn't move past this point without someone else. That's why Deku was the right hand man of The Highest and not Bakugou. Stupid, stupid, Deku. Bakugou was furious when the courts announced it. What did Deku have that he didn't? He was strong, he was powerful, and he got the job done. That's basically what you need to be a guardian angel, isn't it? When he had complained to the courts, all they had said was "Patience, young one." He had scoffed.

What did patience have to do with anything? He had plenty of patience. Patience was something he had to practice daily, dealing with the kinds of people he did.

He was always assigned to old people, dying out before he could even get attached. Not that attachment would be a problem. He was Bakugou Katsuki, for Christ's sake!! He didn't "get attached", especially to old farts.

That all changed once he was assigned to you.

You, with your glowing skin and beautiful eyes, pulling him in the moment he saw your case file. He used to see you when he was living, a friend of a friend. He never got to talk to you cause you were always around stupid Deku. Y'all might have been together, but he didn't care. He had to meet you, talk to you, touch you, taste you. He would visit in your dreams, talking to you and making you laugh, holding you though the bad parts he couldnt change.

When you finally worked up the gal to ask who he was, he took a deep breath and told you. He was your guardian, assigned to you until you die, there to protect you and keep bad things away. You simply laughed and told him,

"Fine, don't tell me."

He only growled down at you, huffing before disappearing into the cloudy depths of your consciousness.

You didn't see him for weeks, trying to conjure him back in your head, but to no avail. Finally, finally he showed up, but it was not in your dreams. No, he showed up at the foot of your bed, glowing a dewy gold with his wings spread out behind him, tunic wrapping lightly around his slim hips.

You gaped at him, your brain trying to process what it was seeing. He smirked down at you, stalking over to where your soft body lay, trailing thick, calloused fingers over the expanse of your exposed thighs. He lifts up the hem of your oversized tshirt slightly, quirking an eyebrow in question.

You bite your lip and spread your thighs as an invitation, making him groan and slide into the sheets with you.

He gently positions you so you're straddling his face, facing his swelling cock as it makes his tunic rise.

He kisses you through the fabric of your panties, running his tongue up and down the fabric while groaning about how wet you got for him, how much of a slut you were for lusting after an angel.

He finally rips your panties off of you after teasing for what felt like hours, immediately sucking your fat clit in his mouth, moaning at the taste of you. He grips your hips to grind you roughly against him, sucking at you and sliding thick fingers into you, making you mewl and shake above him.

As you push your hips against his pretty face, you notice how big the bulge is in front of you, looking almost painful. You moan softly at the feelings coursing through you and the sight of him so aroused from just eating you out. You bring shaky hands up to grope at his clothed cock, causing him to let out a startled sound into your pussy.

"Fuck, Princess- whaddya doin-"

You cut him off by grinding yourself further onto his mouth, unwrapping the cloth around his waist and watching his cock slap up. You salivated at the sight of it, thick with veins running along it, the head leaking copious amounts of prespend. You shiver when you feel Bakugou's tounge slide into your slit, his teeth catching on your sex and making you whimper above him.

You lean down and run your tongue along the pulsing veins littering his fat cock, ripping a raspy moan from the blonde's lips. His thighs clench in front of you with the sudden urge to fuck up into your mouth, but he resists it in favor of adding two more fingers into you, now stretching you with three and making you groan. He laps at your clit, determined to make you cum before him.

You suck at his tip, dipping into it before moving down further, rolling your tongue along the underside of his shaft as you fondle his balls, making his hips jump when you circle his taint with your fingers. He whimpers into your pussy, tongue stilling inside you as he revels in the pleasure. He's glad you can't see him, cause his eyes are rolled all the way up, drool and your slick running down his cheeks. You slide your hands up and down his thighs fondling his balls and sucking him down your throat, moaning around him when his movements pick up. Just when you think you'll make him cum, he pushes you off of his face.

You blink to yourself in confusion, before he grabs you from behind and positions you over his leaking cock, his breath fanning over your neck before he sinks his cock inside of you, simultaneously sinking his teeth into your neck to muffle his whines.

You arch your back in pleasure, locking eyes with him in the mirror at the foot of your bed that you know wasn't there before. He smirks against your neck, snapping his hips up into you as he grabs at the fat of your tits, playing with your nipple with one hand while the other brushes over your clit.

"Why don't you ask your guardian to help you cum, hm?"

You gasp out, barely able to get out a word as he bounces you on his lap, his fat tip hitting your spot with every thrust.

"Ka-Katsukiii-"

"Nu-uh, that's not my name, slut. You only get to call me Sir, yeah?"

You choke out a feeble,

"Yes sir-!"

Before going back to being a garbled mess. You reach back for stability, only to brush along soft feathers, realizing that Bakugou hadn't put his wings away. In your hazy state of mind, you slowly started to run your fingers up and down the spine of his wings, moaning breathing in his ear as your head tilts back, causing a shudder to run down Bakugou's body, all the way to the head if his dick which pulsed violently inside of you.

He flicked at your clit, growling into your neck to cum, which you did without hesitation, creaming his cock. He gritted his teeth at how tight you clenched around him, and with one look at the white ring you left around the base of his swelling cock, he came inside you, spurting endless amounts of spend. He panted hotly against you, gs tly pulling you off to go clean up, chuckling when he saw you passed out.

♡♡

The hall of the Higher Ups was always huge, but with the guilt and shame resting on his shoulders, the room seemed even bigger to Bakugou. He avoided eye contact with the Advisor, staring dead into Shitty Deku's eyes.

"Why the fuck am I here, nerd? Shouldn't I have already transferred Down There?"

Deku winces at Bakugou's language, straightening up.

"I managed to convince the Council to give you a second chance, Kaachan. This was the first time you were assigned to someone young and appealing, and it's not like there are a lot of options up here-"

"Would you shut the fuck up already? I did what I did, I don't need you picking up after me and trying to be my saviour."

Bakugou sneers, backing Deku up. He rolls his eyes when the Advisor steps forward to intervene, only for Deku to hold a hand up.

"I don't know why you're always right there. You're like some creepy stalker or sumthin'. You have everything you could fuckin' want! Why are you bothering me, especially when I'm to get your position-"

"Because I fucking care, Kaachan!"

Bakugou flinches back at the tone of Deku's voice, surprised at the curse that came out of his mouth.

"Why do you think you're even here still? I'm the one who convinces the Council to let you stay here, even with your foul mouth and crude ways. I'm the one who got you up here in the first place. They gave me a choice. Condemn you to Hell for what you did to me, or let you be here and make peace, but you make it so hard. I thought you would've changed. But I guess you just hate me that much, huh Bakugou. Hate me so much you would fuck her, after all this time."

The blonde's eyes widen, his face burning hot in anger.

"Why would you bring that shit up, it was in high school-"

"I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU."

The hall is silent, Deku's voice echoing around the walls, the words "because of you" ricocheting in Bakugou's head.

"You didn't do shit cause of me, Midoriya. You decided to do it, right?"

Deku scoffs, tears filling his eyes as he turns towards the Advisor.

"Still as blunt as ever, Bakugou. Take him away."

Bakugou turns away, spitting out an "I can do it myself" before waking out the hall, keeping his head high even as scornful Higher Ups regard him, strutting to the transporter. He gets in and pushes the button, vermillion eyes locked on piercing green ones all the way down.

♡♡

When you wake up in the morning, the bed is empty, but there's a note on your dresser from Bakugou, telling you how he's going on a little trip for a bit, but he won't forget you.

He'll never forget you.

♡♡

@boooooooooom

♡♡

Masterlist

#bakugo smut #bakugou katsuki smut #bakugou smut #katsuki bakugou smut #fallenangel!bakugou #bucket-talks #bakugou x reader

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sullustangin · 3 years ago

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Happy Birthday, Eva

Well, I’m done! I wrote something every day for the entire month of February. I avoided some burnout by a) letting my weekly fic chapters count (unlike Fictober, where I was doing a prompt AND a 5k word chapter) and b) serendipity; February is a short month, and it’s not leap year. I’ll add this to the pinned post soon(ish) with the AO3 links and all that jazz.

Here’s what I wrote/created over the last month.

1. The Corellian Whiskey and Sullustan Gin Timeline is a slight variation on the current official one; in sum, it avoids all the retcons made post-KotET. It also includes some headcanon characters and ideas to help me plot the series.

2. Like Champagne -- a fan fic about two of Eva’s birthdays with two very different men. Darmas/Smuggler and Theron/Smuggler

3. Fractured Alliances and the Taste for Spies -- @sarpndo asked about the series’ anticipated trajectory during the Traitor Arc, and I give a big answer! Some spoilers abound.

4. Efficiency -- a fan fic about the choice to spare Theron on Nathema. This was for @thebreadtree.

5. Domestic Bliss is the first weekly prompt for Fluffy February. Essentially, Eva and Theron start to establish their private life after his arrival on Odessen.

6. Regularly scheduled chapter of The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4.

7. Becoming -- a fan fic when @empire-at-war‘s Tal became the first person to meet Eva after she became the Captain of Virtue’s Thief.

8. Home -- Corso meets Eva. And Hylo Visz the Cat.

9. Name -- Darmas Pollaran will never tell her his name. A fan fic about the smuggler’s favorite bastard.

10. Make This Work -- a sort of sequel to #5, this is slightly less fluffy and deals with the headcanon I have that the Outlander didn’t come out of carbonite unscathed. Fortunately, Theron Shan is a highly competent operations manger. And a good boyfriend.

11. Midnight in the Garden -- six months after defrost, Eva disappears with Satele and Marr for a very strange camping trip. Theron admittedly didn’t cope well. When other changes come along, he does better. Fluffy February prompt fill

12. A dear Anon asked about Theron Shan’s reaction to Eva being lost at Eternal Fleet. I provide his character’s trajectory until the point that Lana Beniko reveals intel that proves that Eva Corolastor is not dead.

13. Regularly scheduled chapter of The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4.

14. "For When You Wake Up” is a fic that reveals Theron’s reasons for not being there at defrost for Eva.

15. @ayresis asked about one of my new characters, Kyllfria Whitcord. I develop her biography here.

16. Death, Yet the Force -- The adventures of Fria Whitcord and her joining the Alliance... but she brings more than herself to Odessen.

17. Brigs and Balyegs -- Eva Corolastor and Talos Drellik are undercover on date night in order to pull off a heist at the Sith Museum. Date night? You’ll see.

18. A dear Anon asked about what makes Eva happy. Theron clocking 1500 hours on her ship is one of those things.

19. World Building for Corellian Whiskey and Sullustan Gin -- a post that concentrates all of the headcanon and also general analysis posts I make that aren’t fic, exactly. This has been added to the menu.

20. Regularly scheduled chapter of The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4.

21. Spite -- a fan fic explanation as to why Eva lets Arcann live.

22. A dear Anon asked about the adventures of Hylo Visz the Cat, Eva’s pet. I provide the overview of the cat’s life.

23. The Death of Hylo Visz -- the joke that’s been slow burning in my head since the first fic of this series...

24. Who is the Voidhound? - a headcanon post about the character ‘the Voidhound’ and its manifestation in my series.

25. Weather -- the week 4 Fluffy February Prompt, about the early days of Theron and Eva on a work-date in Coruscant

26. Pictures at an Exhibition -- the Art of Corellian Whiskey and Sullustan Gin has been compiled into a master post of art, artists, and their comm info

27. Regularly scheduled chapter of The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4.

28. One More Birthday -- Eva celebrates one more birthday than her mother did....

#swtor #swtor fan fiction #headcanon #theron shan x smuggler #theron shan #hylo visz #darmas pollaran #darmas pollaran x smuggler #lana beniko #fan art #talos drellik #corso riggs #oc: eva corolastor

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blahkugo · 4 years ago

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Rouge

Satori Tendō x Reader (Haikyuu!!)

Word Count: 2.5k

TW: Mafia AU, Dark themes, Blood play (an excessive amount of blood mentions in general), Knife play, Asphyxiation, Angst (?), mentions of death (no main characters), Just two psychopaths going at it tbh.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing for @the-smut-pile’s newest collab, hosted by @present-mel, @pleasantanathema, and @linestrider. Please make sure to check out the rest of the masterlist here!

Every night, the smell of bleach stings your nostrils and prayers left unsaid weigh heavy on your tongue. ‘It comes with the job,’ they had warned you, had urged a ‘pretty little thing like you,’ not to take a position you couldn’t stomach. You didn't listen, of course.

Because death isn’t a stranger in your life, nor an old acquaintance you catch up with once every few years. It’s a friend that phones daily, a lover you scurry into bed with—the chill down your spine when you walk home alone in eerie silence.

As a doctor you saw it everyday, with every patient that prayed for pity when the pain became all too much. Cries of the sick plagued your every waking moment; who were you to deny them release? Their suffering ended the moment you injected the drugs.

But you’ve never seen death like this before.

“Daydreaming again, angel?” Tendō swipes a disinfectant across the cold metal counter, rubbing until pools of pomegranate red match his long, messy hair. Despite the dreariness of the task, an impish smile remains plastered across his face, the glint in his eyes unscathed by the scene you’d both just witnessed.

“It’s still Doctor to you.” Try as you might, your voice comes out shaky, your heart pounding so hard you’re worried it may actually jump out. That feeling never quite leaves you.

He straightens his gloves and out comes his signature laugh—that high, maniacal, chuckle that stops just short of a song. You’d rip out your car radio if it meant getting rid of it.

“You haven’t been one for a long time.”

The truth makes you shudder, but he’s right, of course. Once your license had been stripped away and you were on the run, your career had officially ended. An ‘Angel of Mercy,’ all the news stations had called you, yapping on for days when you were that week’s most wanted woman.

You don’t have the right to be called a medical professional and yet, you stand your ground. If it means getting him to quit with the dreadful pet name, you’ll say just about anything.

“Your boss calls me Doctor.”

“Because my boss can’t remember your name.” He meets your eyes, lips quirking upward at the little huff that escapes you, your furrowed brows spilling bits of frustration you so desperately attempt to keep bottled. The air hangs heavy with the shrieks of anger you wish you could unleash, all the words you don’t dare say aloud in fear of looking weaker than he already believes you are.

Instead of challenging you further, Tendō simply turns away, chucking the wipes in a bin and humming a tune far too cheery for a man who just ended a life.

When night comes, you dream of the older man who begged to see his children one last time and the laugh that sounds like a song.

—

The next day isn’t any better, because it never is. Ushijima’s moles bring in three more bodies for questioning; bodies, because you’ve been instructed to refer to them as nothing but. And they’re young this time, heavily tattooed kids that can’t be much older than nineteen—children that look so much like the thralls of young men you’ve learned to call friends, you have to avert your eyes when they send panicked glances your way.

You wonder if Tendō ever makes these comparisons.

“I’ll only ask once,” the gruff, even voice echoes within the small space. “Who’s your supplier?” Your boss is cold and calculated. He never wavers, never says more than he needs to. He’s everything you’d thought the leader of a crime organization would be and more.

Tendō hovers next to him, gnarled fingers twitching eagerly at the knife splayed between them. It’s his weapon of choice, because—as he mentioned your first day on the job—he can ‘take his time with them’.

The captives crack immediately, pleading helplessly for their lives as they vow they know nothing. They probably don’t, appearing to be nothing more than lowly thugs in a long hierarchy of vile men. It doesn’t stop what comes next.

As expected, Ushijima remains silent except for the soft sigh that leaves him. Tendō sighs as well, though it seems more pleased—euphoric, even—than bored. He presses a slender finger into the tip of his knife, watches as a bit of blood runs down his lean arm, paints a strip of his tattoos red, and drips onto the metal table.

“Are they ours now?” Ours. The word brings bile to your throat. Ushijima makes his way to the door, bluntly calling over his shoulder,

“Do what you must.”

You push up your glasses, Tendō grins, and the screaming begins.

—

Blood-stained lab coats are a staple of your wardrobe. No matter how hard you scrub, fingers raw and aching, the faded pinks never seem to give. You quit months ago, resorted to throwing the worst ones away instead of putting yourself through that hell.

This coat’s going straight to the bin.

Through every horrid interrogation, you’ve forced yourself to watch. You’ve never looked away, never dared allow him to smell the fear off of you. You hand him the tools, write the information on the clipboard, assist with cleanup and disposal, and answer any questions he may have—like the good little medical doctor turned mafia member you should be.

And Tendō smiles the whole way through. Even as dagger meets flesh, as pained cries shatter your eardrums, as your vision is clouded with red, red, red—Tendō smiles, humming a tune that you hear long into the next evening.

But today, when the third young man had looked you dead in the eyes and sobbed, begging you to tell his mother he loves her, you couldn’t help yourself.

Of course, the towering redhead didn’t fail to detect the misstep.

“Bad day?” He questions innocently, resting his elbows on the now spotless titanium table. His muscles ripple as he leans, boasting the thousands of dollars worth of art across his arms. It bothers you that you notice it, even more that he probably catches you gawking. He sees everything, after all. Everything but the blood still splattered across his body.

“Won’t be the last, for us at least.” Brows raise, as though the thought hadn’t occurred to him. If at all possible, the wicked grin on his face widens.

“You’re exactly right.” And like clockwork, he laughs. Your hands grow cold, ice corroding your veins. He swipes his tongue over his lip, leaving a slick shine on his lips. When he rises and steps toward you, you stand your ground, though you so desperately long to run. “Why so serious?”

“They didn’t know anything,” you mumble under your breath, “and you tortured them anyways.” In all your months of working with him, this is the first you’ve complained—and you immediately wish you hadn’t.

Tendō moves even closer, as though entertained by your tiny outburst. Perhaps he’s been waiting for this moment, for you to finally break your silence. When he speaks, his tone is gentler than usual, but still holds every hint of mockery and nonchalance the bastard is known for,

“It’s our job, angel face.” Another step, another tiny breath you’re holding in, worried that the slightest of sighs might shatter your perfected image of faux indifference. He tilts his head to the side, peering down at you, like you’re- a child.

And the glass breaks.

“Enough.” You splay your hands in front of you, halting him in his tracks, just as he invades your space. “Enough of the patronizing looks, and the humming, and the stupid pet name that you know bothers me!” An accusatory finger is jabbed into his chest. “Don’t you feel guilt? Fear? Empathy? You murder people.”

Your chest burns, heaving with rage. Tendō’s half-smile still sits on his face, words of ridicule ready to roll off his tongue any second. But when you look into his eyes, there seems to be something more—an emotion you can’t quite place. Anger? Understanding?

His next sentence is whispered with such sobriety, you’re unsure who it is you’re speaking to anymore,

“People like us don’t deserve those feelings.”

“There is no us!” The claim may come out crazy, hysterical even— a woman covered in warm blood shrieking within a cold, sterile room. For once, you don’t care. “I’m not like you.”

Those words may be what set him off, hand wrapping around your chin and tilting it up so that you’re unable to look away. Fingers that incite panic and enact violence, fingers you’ve feared since your first day here, clutching you ever-so casually. “Exactly. You’re not like me.”

He doesn’t wait for your rebuttal, gripping harder at your face. “I’ve made my peace with who I am, but you,” his breath fans your cheeks, “you only pretend you don’t enjoy it.”

Then, Tendō’s kissing you. And to your utter surprise, you’re kissing him back. Heat rises within you, the hairs at your neck curling as your lips meet with a ferocity. His palms graze your lab coat—no doubt staining his skin with the blood it’s drenched in—before he’s peeling it off.

When you tug at his messy locks, the butcher smiles and sinks his teeth into your bottom lip. He pulls you closer, hurriedly stripping you of your remaining clothing, until you’re left in just your panties. Hands roam at your supple skin, kneading at your hips, meshing into you wherever he can. All the while, your lips do the same, bleeding into each other until you’re unsure of where you start and he ends.

“No.” The command is stern, perhaps the most you’ve ever been with him. His eyes narrow in disappointment, limbs rapidly untangling from your body. You shove him backwards until his knees hit the edge of the table, nudge him again so that he falls against it, and grab a clean scalpel off the side counter. “No, we do deserve to feel those things.” His grin returns in full force—and he laughs.

This time, you don’t hate it.

“Deep down,” he grunts as you hitch a leg over his thighs and climb onto him, “you know that I’m right.” The scalpel’s pointed tip grazes his black tee, cutting through the material meticulously. You run a palm up his broad chest before pressing a finger to his mouth, smearing nearly dried blood across his jaw in the process.

“You talk too much,” the hushed murmur tumbling from your lips doesn’t sound like you, is foreign and twisted, and too much like him to bode well for either of you. The muscles in his thighs tense beneath you, his hard chest rumbling in a silent glee.

Your fingers brush against his cheekbones and you gasp, losing all perception of who you are. It’s absurd, but the individual you knew before, the persona you so adamantly believed you could uphold, crumbles with a single, soft touch of his skin.

And it’s unfair, really, that someone so beautiful—covered in art, blessed with hair the color of sweet wine and a laugh that sounds like music—could be so utterly fucked up.

When you nick his cheek, observing the drip of blood that trickles down, you wonder if Tendō ever makes these comparisons. And when you lick at it, preening at the groan that leaves him, you wonder if you’re just as fucked up as he is.

All at once, you’re flipped beneath him, back crashing against the cool metal table. He climbs down and drags his pants off, yanks you towards him with one pull of your thighs, and presses against your core. A shiver runs down your spine at the heat, crazes you for something you didn’t think you needed.

“By the way,” Tendō speaks through kisses and nips at your neck, “you are just as fucked up.” Though you hadn’t realized you’d said that aloud, you’re unable to retaliate, only wrap your legs around his middle and moan at a particularly harsh bite. He soothes every spot of broken skin with his tongue, drifting downwards until his lips meet your cotton panties. “How cute.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting thi– Ah,” your complaint is cut short when he moves them to the side and licks a long stripe up your slit. And he doesn’t stop, lapping and sucking at your soaked cunt, holding you down with one lean arm when you writhe in response to the pressure. “God, fuck.”

“Satori, but I’ll take God too,” he smirks against your mound. It’s then that he inserts a lithe finger, then two, stretching you out until you’re tugging at his long locks, goosebumps raised as the warmth of his mouth intertwines with the cold beneath your back.

You’re panting, unconcerned with time or it’s passing, only his fingers, his tongue circling your puffy bud, and your steady ascension to the edge. Just as your legs tense, breath caught mid-mewl of his name, he stops. You lean up on your elbows, rut against him, searching for more—friction, movement, anything—but he doesn’t let up.

“Fuck- why?” Your cry is loud, whiny even, but you don’t particularly care when euphoria’s been ripped away from you so suddenly.

“Tell me I’m right,” he teases, eyes peering straight through yours. You whine again, a mix between a pained groan and ‘are you fucking serious?’ before he flicks at your bud once more. “Say it.”

And you do. Because, as strongly as you've denied it, you’re every bit as perverse as he is, every bit as infatuated by the idea of power, of playing God—of holding a life between your fingertips and choosing death.

The second the words are out of your mouth, he thrusts deep into you. Your fingers scramble for purchase, nails dragging against the table, then his back, as skin slaps against skin.

There’s nothing gentle about Satori, all lean, hard muscle and jagged edges, but the pain is just as blissful as the pleasure. His fingertips rub at your clit, other hand moving to wrap around your throat and squeeze tightly.

“Satori, I- I need more,” you choke out, lightheaded. And he complies, shifting you to your side and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. Your cries melt into his, sweat soaking your skin, your hair, the table, as he pounds into you over and over again.

“That’s it baby– fuck, let go for me.” He presses the long-forgotten scalpel against your throat—and your vision goes white. Electricity sparks through your spine, your tongue lolls out, and you swear you feel tears run down your cheeks.

He doesn’t stop, working you through the orgasm as your legs bind his waist. A few more thrusts and he’s following you, holding your hips against him so tightly, he’ll probably leave deep purple bruises.

He finally stills, chest falling against yours and heaving, allowing you both to catch your breath. Flashing a set of pearly canines, his wild grin and the glint in his eyes reappear. For the first time since you’ve known him, Tendō is completely silent.

And then he laughs, lawless and untamed, the howl of a hyena that sounds like a song—and you laugh too.

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