#choi reread is fun

[edwinspaynes]

I adore the way that the bracelet's power was still not enough to stop James from decorating their entire house in a way that he knew Cordelia would like. It's amazing that despite consciously having convinced himself (because of the bracelet) that he and Cordelia would only be married for a year that he subconsciously knew better. Knew that neither Grace nor any other bride would live with him at 48 Curzon Street in the future because Daisy was the only person he ever would love of his own free volition.

[hrts4hanniehae]

seventeen and how they would launch their relationship with idol!you

PAIRING. seventeen (ot13) x idol!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship, scenario imagines WARNINGS. kissing, social media, staying the night, WORD COUNT. 991 words

rereading it makes me feel like they r all OOC pls give feedback in my ask box

choi seungcheol

he would hard launch

when your managers both give the go sign, he would immediately post his favourite date pics with you on to his instagram and weverse.

his captions would be one emoji.

he would tag you in his instagram bio and become upset if you don't do the same.

the rest of svt wld be so done with him because he wld just be spamming his story with all his favourite pics of you for his highlight he titles "y/n"

yoon jeonghan

he would soft launch after begging you not to post anything for one month

when your managers both give the go sign, he would just post a picture of your hands touching onto instagram, captionless.

then he would watch his instagram comments get flooded

a month later, he would post a picture of the both of you, again, captionless but tag you and turn off his comments so yours would be flooded.

when you asked him why he did that... "because it's fun." he says before kissing you.

joshua hong

he would hard launch

when your managers both give the go sign, he would post one picture of both of you on his instagram story before going offline for 1284284 years again.

the launching is left to you...

but when you post, he's the first to comment and like it.

he loves you but not social media.

wen junhui

he would start a lovestagram

he would firstly make you post the same stray cats as him just hours apart, then the same restaurant, then the same shops.

he would then wait to see if people began to catch on, then he'd reveal the relationship.

you find it funny how serious he takes this.

kwon soonyoung

he would hard launch

he prepared matching tiger shirts for this very moment.

he would post a dance practice you both had while wearing the shirts, in which the vid ends with an off screen kiss. that the other svt members can be heard to be groaning at

he would tag you in his instagram bio and add a tiger and a heart emoji

the rest of svt wld be so done with him because he wld be recording "horanghae" videos for you even more.

jeon wonwoo

he would soft launch

since you both met due to your love for gaming, he would just subtly change his gamer tags to match yours

he would add the words "player 1" to his instagram bio and you would add "player 2"

he would then start a "gam3 boi" and show off your characters in [game] having a cute house together and being married

after a while, you both decide to post a picture together and finally fully reveal your relationship.

lee jihoon

he would soft launch

he isn't the type to be super affectionate, so at most he would start by liking your instagram posts.

after a while he just decides to repost your posts on his story

once the speculations that you were dating became more apparent, he would finally let you convince him to start a lovestagram with you.

it's kinda cute because he secretly likes it a lot.

xu minghao

he would soft launch on weibo

he would start by posting pictures of himself at museums that you took, then take photos for you which you would post on your instagram

after that he would subtly hint his presence in the photos he takes of you. like maybe a fraction of his reflection in a window, or his shoe in a photo of you petting a cat.

soon, people would catch onto his presence and your relationship

kim mingyu

he would hard launch

he would tag you in his instagram bio and start pouting if you don't do the same.

he would just announce it on his weverse "I'm dating y/n."

after that he would keep posting stories of his dates with you and clips of your performances that he really likes

lee seokmin

he would hard launch

when your managers both give the go sign, he would immediately post his favourite date pics with you on to his instagram and weverse.

his captions would be along the lines of "my precious sunshine"

he would be so happy after that, because he gets to tell the world that you're his!

he would post videos of your best concert fancams and caption them with hearts.

boo seungkwan

he would hard launch with a lovestagram

typical photos taken by both parties.

he would caption all the posts with a heart emoji.

when people would begin to realise the photos match up, he would officially reveal it .

you would post your photo with the caption "i don't love anyone more than boo~" and he would be all smiles for a week.

vernon chwe

he would just wait for dispatch to announce it first before posting anything

after that then he would post a solo pic of you he took when you stayed over at his house with the caption "pretty u" which is quite cute.

he would still pose the same even when you take selfies together and that makes your pics look like you edited him in, so they're not postable. so you just take and post boyfriend pics of him.

lee chan

he would hard launch

when your managers both give the go sign, he would immediately post his favourite pics of you on to his instagram.

his captions would be lyrics from your hit love songs

he would get teased nonstop when his hyungs see the post, but wouldn't care because the smile on your face seeing those posts are worth it..

in turn, you would caption boyfriend pics of him that you post with "my otter" or "my chan" or you would tease him with pics of your good fits with "oh my god! look at my fit!" and the other svt members would comment "it's good!" (pls get the ref...)

[dokiyeom]

AYA’S SEVENTEEN FIC RECS

note: ngl i meant to post this in dec as an end of 2022 sort of thing and as a bit of an apology for my inactivity,, but my mental health has not been fantastic,, but here are some of my favorite seventeen fics that i’ve read !! also ps pls feel free to send me some of ur own favs bc i miss reading fics && i’m begrudgingly admitting that i’m not great at finding fics,, like sm of these i have to thank yeona for sending me :00

ot13/multi/love interest revealed later on !!

UNDER THE SUN - @wooahaes (series // fantasy/darl+ing au // multi ot13 part)

i think i’ve rbed almost all the individual parts if ur interested in my more specific thoughts but this series has been an absolute comfort series for me for a while !! the relationships between the members and the reader - both platonic and romantic have been so lovely to read !! it’s such a genuinely warm series and the worldbuilding is also just soso fantastic !! it is a fantasy sort of au,, so it’s a bit daunting to get into just because the logic of the universes created in this genre is a bit difficult to grasp,, but uts has such an easy to comprehend world and everything is explained so clearly !! it’s genuinely one of the most comforting fics i’ve read this year and one that i’d highly recommend to pretty much everyone,, even if u aren’t a carat :D

APARTMENT A5C - @suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

my favorite svt smau that combines some of my fav tropes/aus (housemates and uni) !! ++ i’d argue there’s a found family aspect that just melts my heart soso much,, like the reader’s relationship with the 96 line, both platonic and romantic are insanely heartwarming and comforting !! the banter is so entertaining && all of the additional friendships are just to die for !! esp sana and yuta with the reader !! but honestly this smau is just soso sweet and a story where u really root for the main couple to get together bc they just fit each other so well !! def another fic i’d recommend to anyone !!

LOVESTRUCK @/suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

short endings for the reader’s other housemates !! has the same entertaining banter and cute relationship buildup that is just soso perfect to read after apartment a5c to treat ur post fic sadness <3 all the relationships are formed in a shorter period of time, but with just that same amount of investment !!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

OBVIOUS - @leejungchans  (0.9k words - wedding florist and baker au) 

so stinking cute !! the reader and seungcheol having related businesses and appreciating each other’s dedications to their respective crafts is soso endearing :D genuinely my fav seungcheol fic bc hello ? good writing + sulky cheol + established relationship ? an absolute 10/10 and must read that i revisit way too often :D

YOON JEONGHAN

ORDER UP - @/leejungchans  (2.4k - cafe au)

half of these r gonna b recs from sol’s masterlist,, but her works r just too good !! this fic is so darn cute and entertaining, with jeonghan’s antics + his classic attention n care for those in his life were captured so well !! him remembering the reader’s order and his sheer dedication to orchestrating an opportunity for a conversation outside of the reader placing their order was just so fun to read && is genuinely a fic i reread time and time again :D

CAUGHT @/leejungchans (1.1k - preschool? teachers au)

this. this is so insanely endearing hello ?? jeonghan as a preschool teacher is absolutely perfect, and the banter mixed with such tender love that the reader and jeonghan share is just so <3 it’s a relatively short read,, so i’d highly, HIGHLY, recommend giving this a read because it’s soso worth it,, esp if ur feeling a bit down and in need of something fun and sweet to read :D

REDEMPTION @/leejungchans (11.5k)

such whirlwind of emotions but soso insanely riveting !! bad boy jeonghan,,, oh my gosh a concept i (YOU !!) never knew i (YOU !!) needed in my life. him driving a motorcycle. him w tattoos. insane. amazing. fantastic. and a redemption arc ??? reader holding him accountable for wrongdoings ??? genuine efforts to change ?? go read it rn !! u must !!

CANDLELIGHT @/leejungchans (1.2k) - a fav bc its own of my fav tropes :D (blind dates)

my all time favorite jeonghan fic. literally so sweet to read and had me grinning ?? in the middle of the night ?? at my phone !! that’s outrageous !! but so insanely understandable bc this is such an enjoyable read && just so easily heartwarming to hear about the setup of the blind date. honestly,, i don’t think i can understate just how charming and worth reading this is !! 

THE MOST PRECIOUS THING @idyllic-ghost​ (3.6k - hospital/secret relationship au) 

another charming and lovely fic !!! i’m such a sucker for the secret relationship trope,, and this fic had such a fantastic take on it !! i adored the dynamic that jeonghan and the reader had, esp how much they cared for and rooted for each other :DD the banter at work and the tender love they share at home was also just,, absolutely chef’s kiss !!

HONG JOSHUA

LOVE ON THE AIR @suhnshinehaos​ (smau - college au)

i was. so invested in this smau LMAO but the reader and joshua’s friendship was soso lovely to read !! the buildup and tension were absolutely insane and genuinely had me so excited every time i logged onto tumblr to check for any updates :D the side friendships were also just so lovable and endearing,, and i found this smau to overall b super super charming :D

GOLDEN HOUR @dkfile​ 1(2.4k - summer vacation/bffs2l au)

joshua and the reader’s friendship is just so insanely sweet and endearing to read !! this fic is so reminiscent of a sentimental and fun coming of age romance,, which i feel like fits joshua soso well !! the whole time ur rooting soso hard for the main couple to get together, and just reading the buildup is incredibly entertaining !! and also the banter ?? literally so amazing && funny :D

WEN JUNHUI

HOW HARD MY HEART’S BEATING @adi--writes (3.3k - travel/photographer au)

the prose,, oh my gosh !! this fic played out so cinematically !! i loved jun and the reader’s friendship so much,, and how the fic progresses just naturally makes u root for a confession scene regardless of them being the main couple !! everything flowed so organically and their travel stories made for such a beautiful and compelling journey of love :D

KWON SOONYOUNG

(UN)TRADITIONAL @neonun-au (1.8k - wedding au)

the alt title >>> this fic was so full of personality and the premise just fits soonyoung so well !!! the bond that the reader and soonyoung share is just so insanely heartwarming,, esp their mutual understanding and respect for each other’s values !! in general,, the love in this fic is so genuine and lovable :DDD

JEON WONWOO

FLOWER @wonwoonlight (13k - exes au / editor+writer au)

this premise. my gosh it’s perfect !! this fic was such a great take on the second chance trope and the emotions were so fantastically fleshed out !! the progression of wonwoo and the reader’s relationship felt so natural and overall so enjoyable to read :DD

PLAY AGAIN @shuarush (37k words - coworkers au)

the pining !! the tension !! the friendships !! the anecdotes !! the prose !! go read it !! rn !! overall this was such a beautiful journey to read and i enjoyed it soso much :D aside from the main relationship,, i found the reader and jeonghan’s friendship to be soso sweet and endearing !! i also loved loved loved !!!! the writing style in this fic !! everything was so well paced and patient,, which made for such a compelling and beautiful journey that i absolutely loved !!

LEE JIHOON

LIVE @wondernus (1.24k - est relationship au)

so stinking cute !!!! i’m such a sucker for fics like these where the love interest is live and everyone’s also swooning over how sweet the relationship is :DD the love jihoon has for the reader is soso heartwarming and fuels my unending yearning for this sort of cute partnership <//3 this fic is just so enjoyable and the ending. it’s perfect :DDD bc same soonyoung,, same

HEARTACHE AND A LATTE @dkfile (9.3k - cafe au)

read this after not reading any fics for a WHILE and this was just such a chef’s kiss fic :D like the friendships with seungkwan, soonyoung, jeonghan, and wonwoo ?? amazing !!! but the buildup w jihoon !!! my gosh it was so genuinely cute !! i absolutely adored their friendship and the little indications of jihoon’s feelings for the reader :D just such a cute and lighthearted fic that i’d highly rec !!!

LEE SEOKMIN

SOMETHING SWEET @wonwoonlight (2.1k - cafe au)

your honor i love this fic !!!! w all my heart !!!! this fic captured just how lovable seokmin is && had such a cute pining plot :DD this was soso heartwarming and i was so easily invested in their relationship !! overall,, just such a sweet and enjoyable read :DD

KIM MINGYU

MY DAISY @wonwoonlight (series)

this. this was so fantastic. genuinely,,, everyone needs to read this when they can bc it is soso worth reading !!! i loved the friendships and the reader’s relationship with mingyu so much,, and gyuri !!!! gyuri !!!!! honestly i don’t think i can explain just how much i love this fic,, but pls,, pls read this bc this series is so insanely fantastic and had me so invested the whole way :DD

FIVE SHOTS AT LOVE @wooahaes​ (8.5k)

one of my favorite fics !! one of the first fics i read and i just absolutely fell in love with the setup of this fic,,, like the friendship with wonwoo just absolutely won my heart,, and the deepening relationship with the reader was the cherry on top !! such a beautiful and emotionally vulnerable fic that i found so much joy and sadness, but ultimately such an insane amount of comfort in :D def read and check out some of the warnings beforehand just in case !!

TRIAL AND ERROR @/leejungchans (2.9k - cafe au)

SUCH a cute little fic about mingyu trying to approach the reader but failing so miserably each time :D i had such a great time reading this and rooting for mingyu in each attempt !! his genuine earnestness was so adorable to read the way the ending panned out gave me so many giggles :D

XU MINGHAO

ACADEMIC INFATUATION @berriesandjunnie​ (2.5k - professor au)

i love a college setting, workplace romance, and any au where everyone around the reader/main couple are just rooting so hard for them to get together !!! and omg professor hao AND flustered hao ?? like bc of his feelings and nervousness ?? omg literally such a lovely read !!! i had such a good time reading this && got a bit of a giggle which is so 10/10 when reading a fic !!! def read !!!!

AVANTE GARDE @hoyoungy (4.1k - uni/artist au)

tbh as someone who really loves art,, i found this fic suuper enjoyable !! and black mullet minghao ?? hello ?? overall,, i loved the development of minghao and the reader’s relationship soso much and the general nature of how they get to know one another :D like i was soso invested in their journey and just really loved the appreciation both of them grow and have for each other :DD vv worth reading and would highly recommend :D 

BOO SEUNGKWAN

CLASSMATES TO LOVERS @/leejungchans (2.1l uni au)

bulletfics are def such a gem to read,, like short n sweet,, just perfect for a cute little fic :D i adored seungkwan’s impression of the reader and his sheer admiration for them !! like the chemistry was so on point and executed so well in this format too !! AND THE CHOCOLATES gosh this is so cute i love how seungkwan was written in this fic !! 

CHWE VERNON

WORK HUSBAND @wondernus​ (8.8k - teacher au)

my gosh this was soso cute,, like literally i’ve reread this more times than i can admit :0 the reader and vernon’s friendship is just so endearing and felt so genuine !! i really enjoyed reading the buildup of their relationship and just found this to be such a charming story !! like what i would give. to read this for the first time again PLEASE read this !!!

OR WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME @thepixelelf (7.9k - soulmate au)

a whole journey of emotions that had me on the edge of my seat and waiting for the reveal !!! the relationship between the reader and vernon were established so well,, like their genuine care and desire for each other to stay in their lives just straight up tugs at my heartstrings !!! this was such a wholesome and hilarious love story that i thoroughly enjoyed :D

LEE CHAN (aka leejungchans chan fics :DDD)

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS (6.5k words - flower/tattoo shop au)

i loved the contrast between the reader and chan’s character soso much,, and how that ultimately made their relationship soso much more cute and lovable ?? like how intimidated he was and his little crush that he tried so hard to squander !! i love the progression of their relationship soso much and how genuine chan was written in this fic !!!!

OF STICKY NOTES AND STRANGERS (3.8k words)

every time i sit in a library, cafe, or park, i’m waiting for this to happen to me. i adore the premise of this soso much and how the reader’s friend group schemes to catch the perpetrator :DD like overall this fic was so lovely and i def understand the little crushes you get in public on attractive people in your vicinity while working in a public space :DD just so cute,, so heartwarming,, and def fuels my yearning

SCORED! (12.4k words - uni au)

athlete chan,,, oh wow,,,,, this fic was one of the first chan fics i read as i got into seventeen and definitely cemented him as one of my biases in the group :DD i love the banter that went on between the reader and chan,, as well as all the hilarious little details of the other columns !! like project vernway is forever ingrained in my mind whenever i see pieces christiano siriano or any other contestants from project runway !!! overall i just love how this fic played out and all of the hilarious interactions between everyone involved !!! def a super fun read :DDD

[delcakoo2]

ema’s fic rec’s ₊˚⏃⊹!

i decided to make a lil’ masterlist of fics i thoroughly enjoyed for you guys to also read and support these amazing authors <3 make sure to give them lots of feedback and love; do not be a silent reader T-T! also, there will be no social media aus or smut in any fics below. have fun!!

★ = ALL TIME FAVORITE !!

ENHYPEN !

⚠︎ yang jungwon:

http-do-you-luv-me? ★!!! (16k, jock won, e2l, f, a)

i have reread this masterpiece countless times and it’s p much my comfort fic T-T i could rant about it forever, even if u dont read enha/longfics just read RNNN, all time fav fs <3

for any price ★ (9.4k, assassin won, f, a)

saw assassin and clicked immediately jshsjs, very unique and exciting!! plus yeonjun is featured.. *stares*

in your dreams ★ (10k, dreamwatcher? won, e2l, f, a)

you cannot find any other fic like this one, very creative idea and has a bit of everything !!

love that blooms (demigod au, f)

chasin’ your pretty thoughts (22k, mindreader won, f, a)

lost cause (8.5k, classmate won, f, a)

would you be so kind? (3.7k, classmate won, f)

crepuscule (11.5k, vampire won, f, a)

closer (4.7k, ravenclaw won, f, a)

war tactics and kisses (demigod au, f)

attention, please! (9k, jock won, f, a)

⚠︎ lee heeseung:

always been you (16.5k, badboy/bestfriend hee, f)

my camp counselor is kinda hot (demigod au, f)

attention, please! (8k, jock hee, f, a)

⚠︎ park jay:

study lessons (12.3k, jock jay, f, a)

⚠︎ sim jake:

none for now <\3

⚠︎ park sunghoon:

the 7th sense (10.3k, dragon hoon, f, a)

marriage discount (2k, fake dating, f)

reasons to date (2.8k, classmate/friend hoon, f)

enchanted (3k+ ongoing series, prince hoon, f)

⚠︎ kim sunoo:

none for now <\3

⚠︎ nishimura riki:

sixteen eighty-five ★! (6k, e2l jock/newsclub riki, f, a)

another all time fav, everything about it is just what i enjoy in a fic and i could reread it over and over <33 niki is so mean but then so nice it’s just auhsjs aww

dear bus-noona ★ (0.8k, stranger riki, f)

i barely read short drabbles, but this was absolutely adorable and had me laughing and smiling even with just 800 words <3

kitty got your tongue (14.6k, assassin riki, f, a)

sucks to be you, sleepyhead (demigod au, e2l f)

all i want for christmas is you (5.4k, e2l, fake dating, f)

attention, please! (10.8k, jock riki, e2l, f, a)

lucky charm (2.6k, classmate riki, e2l, f)

behind the net! (9.8k, jock riki, team manager reader, e2l, f, a, plugging my own fic cuz why not)

⚠︎ ot7:

silenced ★! (20k+, zombie apocalypse series)

i just love apocalypse aus so when i found this i KNEW i’d love it <3 the boys are all so loveable and unique in their own ways and mc is so chill but also a badass <3 very high recommend!!!!

TXT !

⚠︎ choi yeonjun:

steal my heart (19.6k, royal + arranged marriage au, f, a)

i said “why won’t you forget?” (2.7k, runaway beomjun, f, a)

mr. vice president (7.3k, frenemies/academic rival yeonjun, f, a)

⚠︎ choi soobin:

actions have consequences (4k, lifeguard au, f, a)

⚠︎ choi beomgyu:

the prince and the jackal ★!! (11.8k natureprince gyu, f)

AAH ANOTHER ALL TIME FAV, i could talk about it forever, but it’s just so unique and close to my heart and the bantering is so cute, idc if u dont read txt read rn it’s amazing <3

the only exception ★ (12.4k, stranger gyu, f)

this fic is just so warm and homely? it made me smile lots T-T

i said “why won’t you “forget?” (2.7k, runaway beomjun, f, a)

favor (4k+ twoshot, classmate gyu, f, a)

⚠︎ kang taehyun:

none yet <\3

⚠︎ huening kai:

none yet <\3

EXTRA ! (i don’t read bts anymore, but i wanted to include these since they’re still favs of mine!)

so you wanna be the best ★ (8.1k, POKEMON TRAINER JUNGKOOK! f)

I GREW UP WITH POKEMON, DIGIMON ALL THAT. so when i saw this??? i genuinely screamed this. one is vv close to my heart <3

lifeguard ★ (12.6k, lifeguard jungkook, f)

this fic will get you to giggle at least once, istg one of the funniest fics i’ve read it is HILARIOUS i’m not over jk putting sunscreen on mcs back and her thinking it was tae the whole time T-T

thank you for reading!! again, make sure to give the authors lots of love :D

[we-stan-cale]

I talked about Choi Han and Cale, let me talk about Alberu and Cale.

As usual, I'm going to warn about spoilers and put the rest below the cut.

When Cale and Alberu first meet, there's not a lot of trust going on.

Cale is wondering about all the secrets Raon let slip, notes that Alberu had a healing power he didn't use for a random citizen (though he indicated it was okay in the next sentence. Before commenting that if Choi Han had such a power he would have), and on Alberu's side we have a royal prince who had to claw his way to power while hiding his dark elf heritage. In an environment where he could only trust the dark elves.

Despite all that, Cale seemed quite willing to work with Alberu. (If he'd started in the Empire I imagine Cale would have been overthrowing Adin even earlier).

I think that's partly because Cale is always willing to work with people who have their priorities straight - and even some that don't. He's very focused on his goals and as long as you're not betraying the trust of the people you're responsible for he's generally okay with you. Murdering citizens and abandoning foot soldiers? Not okay. Valentino? Okay, with reservations. Toonka? Same, before Toonka's own rather amazing growth arc.

Like Park Jin Tae, who Cale worked with despite their issues. Because when push came to shove, that guy was there.

I'm digressing though.

Cale letting Alberu know he'd figured out about his dark elf heritage was, naturally, scary for Alberu. At first.

He was vulnerable.

But it came in handy (as Cale showed he could be trusted with that) when Alberu needed someone to retrieve that magic thingy from the dark elves.

Plus Cale kept doing crazy shit that always benefited Roan.

So they started growing closer, kind of slowly.

I think the real turning point, for Alberu at least, was when they went to the Empire together, and Cale used his shield to protect everyone from that attack.

Cale, we now know, has lived through crisis after crisis and no longer reacts to deadly danger like a normal person.

Alberu, for all his political skill, hasn't really been in a situation like that. Poison and underhanded political moves? Sure. And he was there for the plaza incident too.

But what was interesting here was Alberu wasn't thinking about the politics.

He was concerned about Cale.

Cale is the one who reminded him how he should play the situation.

After that we really start to see Alberu open up.

He keeps showing signs of genuine care.

Tries to protect Cale's slacker goals (even as he sees it gets harder and harder), comes up with the sworn brother idea. And really, by the time we get to part 2 he's rather a mother hen.

We see him learn about the curse, grow confident in himself, and then...

Becomes the Dark Tiger.

Which is hilarious, but also puts him almost as close as Choi Han to Cale.

Oh, and he has some absolutely amazing scenes where he's schooling the White Star on his terrible leadership.

We also see how much he's grown when he encounters his other younger self, in that 'game' in the temple. His understanding of where he was then also illustrated how much he'd changed, as he found a group of honest-to-god friends.

Anyways.

Which makes rereading the story especially fun, because it's such a contrast.

I absolutely adore how their relationship developed over the course of the story.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

L0v3 M3

Summary: You're both each other's escape but he can't tell you who he really is... Pairing: y/n x idol Yeonjun Word Count: 4.2k~ Warnings: Like one or two curse words lmao... that's it a/n: Requested by a lovely anon <3 I hope you like it :)

🟢  y/n is online

🟢 Yejun is online

Yejun: How's your day been? I haven't heard from you today :/

y/n: I am so sorry Yejun! Things have been pretty hectic at work and I wasn't even able to eat lunch today :(

Yejun: Oh my gosh that's horrible! How are you feeling? You must be exhausted! Have you eaten yet?

y/n: *send picture of your favorite food* Yup! I figured I would treat myself today!

Yejun: You definitely deserve it after the crazy day you had!

y/n: Enough about me though, how have you been? Did you do anything fun today? I know you said it was your day off so I hope you did :)

Yejun: Not really, I hung out with one of my roommates since we both ended up having today off so we just played some video games.

y/n: Oh did you guys try out that new game you said was coming out soon?

Yejun: Yeah we did! It came out on Friday but we didn't have time to check it out until now so it was fun trying to figure it out together. 

y/n: Did you win?

Yejun: Of course

y/n: As expected from my champion <3

I smile down at my phone after rereading your message for the 10th time before responding. "What are you smiling at?" Beomgyu says walking into the living room after waking up from his nap. "Nothing" I say locking and putting away my phone before another ding rings out notifying the both of us (unfortunately) of another one of your messages coming through.

"Doesn't look like it's nothing" Beomgyu says tilting his head trying to see my phone hidden behind my back. "Well either way it isn't any of your business I say defensively. "Yeonjun be honest, you're still talking to that girl aren't you?" he says, obviously disappointed in me. 

"So what? What's wrong with that?" I say continuing to defend myself. "She doesn't know who you are right? You know it could cause a huge scandal if-" "I'm being careful. But no, she doesn't know who I am. I know better than that" I say hoping the conversation is over and we can move onto something else. "You better..." he says trailing off.

"What's that supposed to mean? Last time I checked I was the hyung here. You really think you can talk to me like that?" I spit out getting fed up with him. "Okay I'm sorry I'll stop bugging you about it damn" he mumbles. "I'm sick of your disrespect Beomgyu. When are you gonna sto-" "Yeonjun that's enough" Soobin says walking into our dorm trying to defuse the situation. 

"You know what I'm done, I'm leaving" I say walking towards the door and heading outside. Luckily some of our staff are still hanging around outside since they had just dropped Soobin off. "Can you take me for a drive? I just need to get out of my head for a while" I ask knowing that taking a walk instead isn't really possible with my current idol status.

The staff nods and opens the car door for me before going over to the drivers side. "Do you have anywhere you would like to go or just somewhere away from the city?" he suggests and I'm happy to hear that he's able to read my mind. "Away from the city please, I need to get away from all the chaos" to which he nods and starts the car doing just as I had asked. 

I pull out my phone after our drive is underway and I remember that I had left you on read.

🟡 Yejun is busy → 🟢 Yejun is online

🟡 y/n is busy

The last message you had sent me was asking if I had any plans for the rest of the night. I'll be honest I downloaded this app with the intention of pretending to be someone else. I just wanted to be a normal guy, talking to normal people and having normal conversations. But when you're an idol that privilege gets ripped away from you and you don't realize how much you're going to miss it until it's too late. So my name on here is Yejun and he's basically me except with a new face and a new name.

Choi Yejun, Yes I know very creative but I did't want to lie too much

Age: 24

Birthday: September 12th which isn't a complete lie because it's the 12th in America but the 13th in Korea

Height: 6ft, yes I did add on an inch okay, sue me!

Blood Type: A

MBTI: ENFP

Education: Batchelor's degree in Music with a minor in dance. This one however is a lie laced with some truth okay, let me have this one. 

I got the pictures of "Yejun" off of instagram after looking through hundreds of accounts, trying to find one that fit my vibe. Luckily the account that I take the pictures from belongs to a very very narcissistic guy so I'm constantly getting new picture to send you if I need to. Do I feel bad lying to you? Yes of course.

I wasn't even planning on keeping this account for long. I just wanted to try and use it as some sort of escape. We met by chance and somehow along the way we just started messaging each other everyday and it's gotten to the point that I feel like there's something missing if I haven't heard from you that day. 

Some days are busier than others and I hate it. I wish I could just spend the day with you. Not just messaging you on my phone or computer but really spend time with you, in person. Somewhere along the way I started to fall for you. Don't ask me why or how, it kind of just, happened. I noticed it when I started to compare every woman I encountered to you, and none of them could live up to what you mean to me. Call me crazy but something in me is holding out the hope that someday we can be together, or at least meet. 

We've been talking to each other for months but I'm afraid that when I finally gain the courage to call you that you'll recognize my voice and that could be the beginning of the end for us. You're not even into Kpop like that, let alone my team (it hurt my ego a little bit but I got over it) but it still scares me. My attention is soon brought back to my phone as I see that you've come back online and responded to my message.

🟡 y/n is busy → 🟢 y/n is active

🟢 Yejun is active 

 Yejun: Hey sorry I got busy there for a second but no I'm free for the rest of the night. What about you? 

y/n: I'm free as well :)

Yejun: Good

y/n: Good?

Yejun: Yeah because you can pay attention to me after neglecting me all day :(

y/n: I already told you I was busyyyyyy 

Yejun: Yeah I know I was just teasing

y/n: If it makes you feel any better I really missed you <3

My breath hitches a bit at the confession. It's nothing big but for some reason it has my heart racing nonetheless.

Yejun: Yeah you better! But I missed you more ;)

y/n: Good, what are you up to?

Yejun: Nothing really, just relaxing, trying to clear my head.

y/n: Oh, is there something wrong?

Yejun: It's just that things have gotten really busy at work and I feel like I'm being stretched way too thin.

y/n: Could you maybe talk to your boss? See if there's anyways that someone could help you out?

Yejun: There's already four other people working with me so they can't really afford to spare anyone else. Plus it would throw us all off if someone else did join this late in the game. 

y/n: Oh okay that's understandable. You guys don't want to mess up the synergy you have going on right?

I smile happy that you're starting to understand me and my world without really knowing it. 

Yejun: Exactly! I couldn't have put it better myself :)

y/n: You know you can tell me anything right? I know that you like to keep things to yourself about you work and everything but if you're struggling with say your friends or you're feeling down then I'm always here <3

Yejun: Thank you y/n I really appreciate you and our friendship so much! You have no idea how much you've helped me since we first met. Life for me is just so fast paced so it's really nice to have someone who likes me for me and not for what I can do for them you know?

y/n: I totally understand, I feel the same way about you. Even though we haven't met in person I feel like you're the best friend I've ever had. Like a true friend, so thank you Yejun. You've made my days so much brighter and my nights so peaceful. I just don't know what I would do without you.

It's really me that needs you. Everything in my life from the age of 15 to 19 has been about debuting and now that I have it's just, well I don't know, things are just not the way I thought they would be. Seeing my Sunbaes debut before me just made me so excited at the prospects of someday following in their footsteps. I kept counting the days, waiting for that time to come when they would finally tell us we were going to debut. 

I was the first member of the team that would become Tomorrow x Together and the other guys trickled in bit by bit in 2016 and soon we were put together. It still took us about three years until we debuted but we worked hard every single day until we finally made it! 

A few months after we debuted though the pandemic hit, and everything about the way that idols and idol groups promoted their music and performed had completely changed. The day they told us that BTS had to postpone their world tour was the day that I knew everything was going to change.

It was hard being a new idol group and not being able to get the love, energy and support that most groups get. It just makes all of the hard work worth it when you get to see the look on people's faces and hear them cheering for you. Although my idol journey hasn't been the same as idol groups that debuted before me I wouldn't change it for the world.

The pandemic brought our team closer, but it also pushed us apart at times. Having to live together with the uncertainty of it all was nerve wrecking. It's all thanks to our Moa though, they really kept us going when times got tough. But even after the pandemic started to calm down I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that I had lost something and I wasn't sure how to find it. That's when I found you.

I had wanted to find some way I could escape from this whole idol world and just be me. Not Tomorrow x Together Yeonjun, just me Choi Yeonjun the kid who worked so hard for his dream and made it come true. I want people to like me for me, but things started to change with the people around me when I debuted. Some idols would try to befriend me, only to get closer to BTS and the friends that I had made before when I was still a trainee started to treat me differently now that I was "famous". 

The members of BTS and especially Namjoon hyung really helped me navigate this whole scene and always gave me the best advice. I watched them grow, from their tiny debut showcase and their even smaller fan meet, to their first win with I Need U. Everyday since the beginning I've seen what they're capable of and I want us to be that kind of group someday too.

Thanks to them they've opened up a lot of doors not only for us but for the whole industry. I'm always thinking of them and how much I've grown to love an support them, I always have and I always will. Plus they're all just so hilarious, they never fail to bring a smile to my face and I could never thank them enough. 

I know I'm rambling but those are the thoughts that go through my head when I try to process my life these days. There are days I want to say "Fuck this" and just leave, but there are other days that I just couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. It's come to a point where I don't think I could go on without being a part of this team, and that's gotten really unhealthy for me. This whole mindset I've found myself trapped in for these past few weeks has been utterly exhausting and the only thing that's kept me going has been you. 

I know I have my members and Moa and the company to rely on but I just want to be seen as a person, not an idol or an asset, just me. You've really brought me back down and helped me embrace my humanity again, as dramatic as that sounds it really is true. It's easy getting wrapped up in the glitz and the glamor of it all but having you really reminded me that I'm still my own person apart from all of this. It's just, I don't know...freeing I guess? Being able to just be myself, but I hate that I can't be my true self with you. 

I've adopted this persona that I have to stick to, for both of our safety. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I want to keep you away from all of this and keep your view of me as the same guy you've known this whole time. Yes with a new face and some tweaked physical traits but it's still me. I hope that someday if we get to meet that you won't hold it against me. I hope you'll realize that It was safer this way because I really want to keep you in my life but only for as long as you let me. 

y/n: Are you still there?

Yejun: Yeah I'm sorry I've got my head stuck in the clouds but I really do feel the same way :)

y/n: What's got you so distracted?

Yejun: Just life I just can't seem to separate myself from work you know? My work life balance isn't the best but unfortunately with the kind of job I have it's pretty much impossible to do so. 

y/n: I swear you get more and more cryptic everyday 

Yejun: I'm sorry I'll stop talking about it. What are you up to?

y/n: Nothing really, I just put on a show that I've seen before as background noise but I really have kept my night clear to talk to you and I'm glad it worked out :)

Yejun: Me too, but hey I have a question for you. Well more of a proposition...

y/n: You're scaring me but I'm all ears

Yejun: Would you maybe be free to talk right now? I just really need to hear your voice.

I've told you time and time again that I didn't feel comfortable talking on the phone but I think I need to make an exception for this time.

y/n: Are you sure? I mean yes I would love to talk to you but I just know you've been uncomfortable with the idea of calling but yes! Call whenever :)

I ask the staff to pull over into a pretty much abandoned parking lot hoping this will provide me with enough privacy. I step out of the car and let him know that I'm going to take a call and it might take a while, to which he nods and tells me not to wander off too far. 

My thumb hovers over the call button for a few moments before I finally take a deep breath and press it to start a call. It rings a few times and I can feel the anxiety build with every ring that plays until I hear a click telling me you've picked up. 

"Yejun?" I hear your voice resounds melodically.

"Um yeah hi" I say in english. Us living in different countries has also proved to be an obstacle in our relationship but it's honestly for the best. 

"Oh my gosh is it really you? I can't believe I'm actually hearing your voice!" you say clearly excited which releases so much tension I've been holding in my body all day. 

You've sent me voice notes before and if I'm honest I listen to them about twice a day but who knew that something as simple as actually speaking to you could make me feel so at peace. 

"Me neither, I don't know why I was so scared to call you but I'm so happy we are finally doing it" I say feeling like a new layer has been added onto our relationship.

"Me too, you've been sounding really down today though. I know you've already told me about it but is there anything I can do to help?" you ask.

"No it's okay love, why don't you tell me about your day instead?" I let out and start looking up at the stars. 

"Love?" you repeat, clearly surprised.

"Shit I mean-"

"No it's okay, I like it" you respond and I can hear how shy you've gotten from the accidental term of endearment.

"Really?" I ask now feeling embarrassed but also happy that you don't mind if I call you that. 

I've gotta try out other pet names to see how they will make you react because even if I can't see you I can clearly tell you're blushing. 

"Really" you say and the line goes silent for a while, neither of us knowing what we should say next. 

"So are you gonna tell me about your day silly?" I resort to, amused by your shyness. 

"Oh right, well when I got there this morning we..." you say telling me every little thing you could think about that had happened you today, and I mean it when I say that you tell me every detail but I can't help but find it incredibly endearing. 

"Yejun?" you say catching me off guard, I'm not really used to responding to that name when it's said aloud so it took me a second. 

"Hmm?" I hum in acknowledgement having lost track of your story.

"Were you even listening to me?" you laugh, clearly knowing the answer already.

I list off a few things that I had thought I had heard but unfortunately had gotten wrong.

"Yeah you said something about spilling your tea on yourself while you were at home and had to change again before you left right?"

"It was actually coffee and I spilled it on my coworker and they had to send it out for dry cleaning but luckily he keeps a spare set of clothes at his desk"

"Oh yeah and he said that you had to give him the money to pay for the dry cleaning"

"No he was really chill about it and I offered to buy him lunch as an apology so I went to go pick something up for us on our break so it would be ready for us during lunch"

"Right right and you went to go get fried chicken and they took forever" 

"I swear your mind is something else because it sounds like you know the plot but somewhere along the way lost all the details of the story" you say laughing at me and I know know now that I got it bad. I know it might seem foolish to say that I'm in love with someone that I haven't even met but there's just something about you.

"I'm sorry love, I just really love the sound of your voice so I kind of got lost in it. I'm not ignoring you I promise I guess that I'm just getting a little tired"

"Oh so I'm boring you to sleep?" you say sternly

"No y/n that's not what I meant I-"

"I know, I just wanted to hear how you would sound when you were panicked" 

"You're mean" I pout, really feeling scared that I already messed things up between us.

"Aw you love me" you say so simply that I choke on air before my mind can even fully process what she had just said.

"You okay over there?" you laugh clearly amused at my reactions to your teasing. 

"Yep *cough cough* all good" I say trying to calm myself down, this is so embarrassing, I don't even know how to respond to subtle flirting from you. It's come so easily to me when I'm with my members and even Moas but I guess since I don't have feelings for any of them like I do with you it's just a little more nerve wracking.

"Maybe I should let you go so you can get some sleep. It's probably really late over there right?" 

"Yeah I guess you're right. I just wish that the time difference didn't make things so difficult for us" I say taking a deep breath in and letting it out to calm myself. 

"Me too, but we finally spoke on the phone so at least that's something! We should do this more often!" you say trying to cheer me up. 

"Definitely! I'll let you know next time I'm free to call and you do the same for me okay? Maybe we could squeeze each other into our schedules a bit more" I say hopeful that something like that might work. 

"Sounds good. Goodnight Yejun" you let out in a melancholy tone.

"Have a good rest of your day love" I finish before hanging up. 

After finally getting back to the city and making our way to the dorm I'm reminded of the way I left in the middle of an argument. 

"Are you going to be okay Yeonjun?" the staff asks, clearly concerned knowing that something set off the need for this impromptu trip. "Yeah I just lost my temper but I'll be fine. Thank you for tonight, I know I kept you out for a lot longer than you're used to". "It's okay kid, I knew you needed it. Let me know if you need anymore late night drives again. Oh and Yeonjun" he calls out before I'm able to close the door. "I hope she's worth it" he says with a sad smile, clearly aware of what had just happened. "She is, don't worry" I say giving him a shy smile in return. "Have a good night, get home safe" I say and close the door after we finished saying our goodbyes. 

Walking in the door I'm greeted by the sight of Beomgyu sitting in the living room with a dim light providing us with a soft golden glow. "I really don't want to hear it tonight" I say starting to make my way to my room. "Please, I just want to apologize" he lets out, clearly remorseful. I stop in my tracks and think for a second before finally caving and sitting down on the seat opposite of him and wait for him to continue. 

"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today, it was uncalled for and I know that" he says pausing, giving me a chance to respond. "I know you're just concerned for the team and you're right, we have a duty to each other as a team but also we have a duty to each other as people. This has been going on for months and no one else has found out besides you because you're nosy" I say smiling at him, showing him a playful attitude rather than an accusatory one.

"I'm being careful don't worry okay? I wouldn't jeopardize the team like that. As much as it hurts me to have to keep my life a secret from her, she's very understanding about it all and isn't pushing me to tell her anything. Just please let me have this Gyu, I've got it under control" I say hoping we can leave it at that. "Okay, I trust you" he says and we sit in silence for a while until he speaks up. 

"You spoke to her on the phone tonight didn't you?" he asks with a sly smile. "No...yes...how do you know?" I ask confused as to how he could read me so quickly. "Because you looked so happy when you came in here verses how you left. A miracle had to have happened to curb that temper" he says clearly happy he was right. "Goodnight Beomgyu" I say and get up to make moves to go to bed, rolling my eyes at his cheekiness before I smack him upside the head and run off with him yelling and running after me. 

"Choi Yeonjun" I hear being yelled from inside of Soobin's room clearly having been woken up by our shenanigans. "Goodnight everyone" I yell back and close the door and lock it behind me providing me safety for the rest of the night. I let out and breath and shrug off the jacket I had been wearing and throw it on my desk chair and I soon hear a quite notification pop up and confused as to who it might be I pull out my phone right away and I smile instantly reading the message over and over and over again. 

y/n: Goodnight love talk to you tomorrow <3 

Read L0v3 y0u to see what happens next <3

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[zorlovinghue]

Please, God... Did my brain explode and Inosuke fetched it for fun???????!!!! Why can't I remember goddammit. Why does everyone got demon in their names, which one is Choi Jung Soo again?? I'm 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 from crying for shouting out loud. No, I am crying already 😭😭😭 What does Vicross, Ron, and Toonka's names again? What should I do when I have to reread the same chapter before reading the next one because I couldn't remember anything??? No, I couldn't even recognize which people is from which group ... This is not even an exam and I'm doing horrible job

The only thing I remember is Cale coughing up blood and Raon growing more vicious *helplessly facepalmed*

[hwaightme]

Family for Hire (Ch3.5)

(family for hire ml) -> blurb and general tags in series ml

☀️ pairing: single dad!seonghwa x business woman!reader ☀️ genre: romance, family, domestic, fake marriage, slice of life ☀️ ch. summary: adult to adult conversation should be easy, except when it is with someone who you are definitely not indifferent about, and who you had just spent a family-style day with. what will a conversation under the stars bring? ☀️ ch. wordcount: 5.3k ☀️ ch. warnings/tags: language, hwa being tactless, late night stargazing, banana milk hours, some mysterious texts, implied past family issues, fears, children, mixed up feelings, lmk if anything else! ☀️ perma-taglist: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo ☀️ series taglist: @yunnierights @moniesmoon @jackinmyarea @hwalysm @sankatchu @hijeongguk @likexaxdaydream @treasure-hwa @paralumanniluna @naiify @dementedaly @lilactangerine @ameliaag1117 ☀️ a/n: Hello there! big hugs and much love, hope you enjoy this chapter~ (p.s.: who else will never recover after the hwa madrid live? xD)

Chapter 3.5: Starting Something

After dinner, much of the time was spent with you three chatting away, until Nari, who was sat between you on the couch had begun to doze off and knock either into your or Seonghwa’s side. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs, with a sleepy Nari who was clinging onto his neck in his arms, you fished a long-forgotten phone out of your pocket. You saw that you had a few texts from Yunho, which clearly showed his progression from worry to 'don't have too much fun' with a series of wink emojis, making you roll your eyes. If only he knew what kind of a battlefield being in a closed space with a toddler was - even when said child's parent was the most attentive being you swore you had ever met and the little girl turned out to be infinitely precious - unpredictable and blunt, but still a wonder.

In addition to the cheeky messages, there were of course the classic out of hours work emails, which you, on any other day, would have probably gotten to answering that instant, but it did not feel right to do. Some strange desire to be respectful of family hours that were not even yours had overtaken you, and with a swipe, you removed the notifications. Stock markets were not going to crash if you were to delay responding to a basic question about plugging in random numbers into a spreadsheet until they looked right - may the internet be ever in their favour. What had caught your attention was something else entirely. An excited, friendly greeting, followed by a rather odd request - you would not put it beyond the author of the message to be rather bold on his asks, but considering your present plans, it was less than welcome.

>> heeyyyyy Y/nnnnn boss lady~~~ quick q, can I give your number to someone??? They're cool I promise :))))

You narrowed your eyes, rereading the notification. It would not hurt to have another networking opportunity, right? Wooyoung had never provided you with a faulty connection before, with some even having led to obtaining a new loyal client for the company, and others, like a certain Choi San, having become a reliable source of information, both in business, and in socials. But there was something almost unnatural about how he had approached the matter. First of all, he asked for your permission to send your contact, which is something that he had never done before, and you had never expected him to. Second of all, what was the promise for? Was it necessary? Since when was coolness a measure of influence that one had if all that was to come out of your communications was a new to connection on a professional site? A deep frown had etched itself onto your face as you took a screenshot of the message to send to Yunho for evaluation. An uncomfortable fuzziness occupied your head, and you could not help but want to stop thinking altogether. At least about people.

"Hey, Nari's all tucked in and dozing off... so... oh sorry, am I-" Seonghwa froze in the middle of the living room, which still bore a couple of signs of playtime chaos. He had wanted to take a seat beside you at the kitchen island that served to separate the two conjoined zones of the house’s base floor but refrained once he saw you glowering at the screen of your phone.

"No, no, I am just, uh, you know how compliance people are, email after email from them and nothing concrete." You were quick to brush off the suspicious message, wanting to feel confident that it was nothing important and was just Wooyoung being Wooyoung ‘in the best way possible’, also known as him having the spirit, but going about making good things happen in a very roundabout way. The last thing you could possibly wish for at this fragile moment at the beginning of your grand scheme was any kind of social disturbance.

“Here’s to you saying you wanted to do that back in first year!” Seonghwa chuckled and made a cheers motion with his hand in the air, manoeuvring around you to head into the kitchen.

“Yep… and now I am arguing with them basically every week, they really should learn to elaborate and explain…” you commented vaguely, choosing to not spend any longer on the peculiar message, closing the matter by tapping out a question mark and sending it to Wooyoung, followed by your trusty switch to ‘do not disturb’. You would rather have your attention on the dark-haired man next to you, who was currently appearing to look for Narnia inside of the refrigerator.

“And not email you on the weekends. That’s a crime. Milk?” he agreed and reappeared with two familiar plastic bottles, one in either hand.

“You have banana milk?” the surprise on your face was evidently clear enough for Seonghwa to be entertained, as he was motivated to continue.

“You know it. This is how dads get lit, I’ll have you know.”

“Wild and absolutely radical. How do you live like that?”

“Live fast. Here,” he passed the drink to you, pointing out the attached straw, “let’s go on the front porch, the neighbourhood is really nice at night.”

He was not lying about it being ‘nice’ - the term appearing to be a Park family favourite. In fact, it was much more than that. Perhaps picturesque or idyllic would be the right word. Sleepy houses under a blanket of a deep navy blanket, decorated with bright glittering stars, and not a cloud to remove the illusion of it being endless. Seonghwa had insisted that you wore your blazer again, while he had tugged on a zip up hoodie, insisting that this was so you would not get cold and scolding you when you initially had said that ‘it was no big deal'. Though now, you could not be more grateful for the well-meaning nagging as the chilly evening breeze caressed exposed skin, and you pulled the piece of clothing tighter around you.

When was the last time you and Seonghwa had shared a moment, any moment, alone together? Oh, that was right. You bit your lower lip, accidentally having retraced your memories. Now that you were more or less aware of his side of the story with regards to the confession, and it was easy enough to process; the opportunity was there to forget one entry in the series of misfortunes. However, prior to this final cry, there had been a build-up of occurrences in your life that had led you to grow more desperate, and, whilst you hated to admit it due to your work-pride you had cultivated, grow lonelier. And this build up was not something you would be capable of neither erasing, nor revealing any time soon. In hindsight, Seonghwa’s rejection could had been a better choice for the past you, too.

At least now, with a steadier foot on the ground as both of you began to walk your paths, you were able to enjoy their crossing. And now, as you were peering out beyond the refurbished fence gate and well taken care of greenery, you caught yourself wishing that your experiences and the years of being strangers would not weigh down so heavily on you. You had an inkling that perhaps that was why you could only register today as a billow of emotion – challenge, after challenge, and generally, not something you pondered at all. At best you thought you would just shake hands with Seonghwa, agree on terms and conditions, and be done with it. But here he was, welcoming you into his space, his life.

“This is all… a little crazy, isn’t it?” the question was a natural conclusion to your internal blur, which you physically accentuated with a particularly sharp stab of the milk’s metal film that served as a lid.

“I’ll be honest, for me this is the first ‘crazy' in a long time that isn’t about getting shots, bed times, or proving to strangers that no, I am not ‘some dude’, I am actually Nari’s father. So, if you were wondering why I even agreed in the first place... I guess part of it is that."

Seonghwa informed and lowered himself to occupy the space beside you. 'Part of it', huh. Keeping his secrets, then. The lamp above you flickered a couple of times, though upon closer inspection, with you tilting your head back and resting on your free hand, it was a small group of moths dancing around the illumination. As soon as your partner sat down, you reached out and offered to clink bottles, which he readily accepted with a shy smile.

“Wait, they do that?” after taking a sip through the tiny straw, you inquired. Seonghwa squinted, confused as to what part of the discussion you were referring to.

“What?”

“Like, strangers… asking you-”

“Ah, yeah. It has happened a couple of times. Not so much around the neighbourhood, since people know my daughter and I, but outside…” he trailed off, not knowing whether you would be interested to hear about his experience. Since you had proposed this family deal in a more business manner, he was not sure where that ended and relations that were too personal began.

“…outside?” you urged him on, eyebrows knitted, and concern growing clearer on your face by the second. 

“We went to a playground out in the centre once, by the Han river, and this one lady with a pram and a kid, about Nari’s age, right by her side decided that it would be a good idea to ask my own daughter: ‘is that really your dad?’.”

“No way…” you uttered, growing irritated at the well-meaning, but insensitive action, “Do people like that exist?”

“Yeah-”

“So, what did you answer?” you hoped that at least a sliver of university-Seonghwa had remained for that; alas, there was not a trace.

“I just left. Calmed down Nari and left.” he elaborated. What could have he done, anyways? He understood why the woman had been concerned, and it was not the question itself that had internally set him off, but the fact that she had approached his daughter to ask it.

“Fair, but I want to find that mother now and see how she is doing. Just want to talk.” you hissed, pinching some of the grain that had eroded away from the steps on which you were sitting, rolling it between your fingers before angrily flicking it away.

“Ominous.”

“Just talking.”

“You verbally throw hands, Y/N, that much I can remember.” he retorted, with an out of place fondness, not dissimilar to how one would look over a photo album and reminisce.

“Verbal cosmetic surgery, Hwa, it can be more than helpful sometimes. Though honestly she should go get her eyes checked instead if she can't see the likeness." You concluded, taking another sip and looking up at the starry night sky. Now this was something you could get used to, instead of the fine dust particles that slammed against your nearly always closed windows.

A warmth spread over Seonghwa as he listened to you. It was not the first time he had heard about Nari being a mini version of him, but the first time he wanted to ask for an elaboration. In addition to that, you had used his nickname, which he did not realise he had been missing hearing as much as he actually did. Not finding any reason to filter his amiability, he inquired into what you meant.

"What exactly?"

 "Oh, come on, it's easier to say what isn't." You retorted, feeling Seonghwa's gaze on you.

"No, really."

You were not sure why exactly he was so bent on hearing you list off random features that had stood out to you but were too tired to resist what probably was just standard father behaviour.

"Well, there's the eyes, of course." You began, imagining the two faces as if they were drawings set out in front of you.

"No way." He intentionally disagreed, biting back a cheeky grin as he saw you scowl and raise an eyebrow, still trained on something invisible ahead of you.

"Yes way!"

"How can you say when you're not even looking at me?"

"How can I say when Nari is in bed, asleep?" You shot back, finally turning to face him, almost gasping because of the intensity with which the man was openly gawking at you. The movement, however, appeared to break his boldness as he lowered his head and glanced at his Crocs - as he had explained, they were the most effective footwear to put on if one needed to pop out of the house for a short while, but you were sold when you saw the Star Wars themed decorations on both pairs which he had presented. So very Seonghwa - some things did remain.

"Fair point... but still, for reference." Barely a mumble reached your ears, but you preferred it, for the sake of your own heart. It did not overpower your strict convictions by volume.

"Right then, mister hypocrisy, the side profile of your singular sensory organ that is reactive to visible light, and your daughter's looks pretty similar if I do say so myself." You deadpanned, listing off what little you could remember from secondary school biology.

Seonghwa nearly choked on his milk, making it bubble as he snorted in response to your unexpected observation. Your hand instinctively moved to pat his back but retracted as he raised his own to show he was alright. Quickly enough the cough was replaced by a chuckle, utterly confusing you.

"Don't mean to be that person, but what's so funny?"

"Ahem, just thought of something totally tactless, don't mind me." He elaborated, mumbling.

"Okay impress me."

"No, no, it's fine."

"If it's a dad joke, I'll just give you an imaginary gold star.”

"Seems, I," he lightly punched his chest a couple of times to get the last of the fit out, "lose my breath around you." You erupted into a loud groan and demonstrative rolling of the eyes, secretly loving the phrase, and how Seonghwa's ears burned up into a bright pink.

"Damn, thanks for the warning, otherwise I would have lost my breath."

You did not think much about what you had said, considering the sentence to be innocent enough and far removed from emotional involvement, however it appeared that Seonghwa was on a roll, or lacking in oxygen as he followed up with a total breach of reason, forcing you to put physical effort into restraining yourself from destroying the plastic bottle with an untimely hand crush.

"Lost mouth to mouth opportunity...” 

"NOW MISTER PARK SEONGHWA THAT IS ILLEGAL." You squeaked, unsure of how to handle Seonghwa suddenly leaning closer to you, looking you up and down asking:

"What, conflict of interest for our little business deal?"

You were lost for words, so automatically fell back on highly effective defence tactics:

"What if someone was saying that to your daughter, hm?"

Whatever he wanted to say was lost to his dominating creativity. You observed his expression turn sour as he visualized the scene, but with Nari in the starring role. A good dad, through and through, after all.

He need not explain himself, though to reassure Seonghwa that you meant well and this was lighthearted, you gave him a quick squeeze on his lower arm. In acceptance, he covered your hand with his, keeping it there for as long as he could. It was still a challenge to process that what was happening was real, and not a vivid dream. The day was a journey through time, making him realise just how much his life had changed and took a radically different turn compared to his peers. In all honesty, he had never expected to have any ability to return even a tiny fraction of that reality, and chose to assume that with his new role as a father, he had no right to reminisce. Especially at the beginning, that was almost true - he had no time to think, let alone take steps into the past. But now, when his regrets of his past had transformed into his present opportunities, Seonghwa felt like something in him had woken up after an impossibly long hibernation. If only every tomorrow that was to come, were to be like this.

"Ahem, okay, okay. So, uh, you said eyes? What else?" He tried to return to the previous conversation, and thankfully, you were equally as eager to move on from the unexpected moment of toeing a line that had been drawn by the years and uncertainty.

"There's the nose shape... at least the baby version of it if you get what I mean."

"Definitely would be strange to have an adult nose on a kid's face, yes." Seonghwa agreed, tapping his nose a couple of times for emphasis.

"I am glad we are on the same page there."

"And, what else?"

"Eyebrows for days, oh! And your smiles. Congratulations to her for winning the genetic lottery." You wondered whether the phrase was too much, but Seonghwa's proud grin dissipated your concerns.

"I'll save that for when she is a teen so I can remind her. "

"Oh yeah... that's going to be a thing..." you mused out loud, failing to conceal a twinge of pity as you recalled your own adolescence: not particularly enjoyable for any parties involved.

"Yep. Barely out of the woods ourselves, huh?"

"Yeah... but I think you'll handle it. Of course, I don't have much data to go off, but my first impression is that you are... you are doing a good job, Hwa." 

"Thanks... though, Y/N... can I be frank?"

"Yeah, Frank and Frederick and Ferdinand." Mainly for the sake of lightening the mood, you threw out the random garble.

"I am winging it so hard it is unbelievable. And unacceptable."

A regular occurrence for everyone - for as long as one is alive, they continue to learn, absorb the world and patterns around them until they create what is called an identity, and then keep growing the embellishments. Simultaneously, Seonghwa sounded anxious, possibly wishing that he was a parenting pro from the get-go. As someone who had to reevaluate all priorities and step into a caring role, it was an unfortunate side effect of doing things objectively right, to feel as though the best, the real way to address one's kid's needs was always just out of reach.

"Same."

It was a struggle to fully relate, but that did not mean that you would stop trying, if at least for your own benefit. With all your might you tried to conjure an analogy, but the only thing to come close was standard perfectionism and religiously abiding by deadlines. Enough to say 'same'.

"Would have never guessed that was the case." Seonghwa, ever so supportive, despite the fact that you were, unknowingly making him regretful of his sudden career change. 

You seemed to be doing well enough, and if the few years of intensive corporate grind had not made your drive and opportunity-seeking nature fizzle out, then combining family and a better paid and degree-based job would not be a problem. Some kindergartens he had considered had extended hours on offer for kids of working parents, with pickup times being later after work; had he gone down that route, he would not be suffering the judgmental gazes of the other kids’ mothers who likely assumed the was an unemployed leech. Admittedly, he had felt a certain level of satisfaction when observing the stunned crowd as your very obviously expensive car rolled into the parking lot to pick up Nari from the activity centre, especially since many of the kids, and thus the parents, were connected to the same school.

He wondered how quickly would rumours spread, and could already imagine himself wearing a satisfied grin as he… technically he could not say anything, could he? Since this was all an elaborate plan and would be over at some point? Well then, he would just have to remain mysterious and let the gaggle come to their own interpretations after seeing an attractive young woman step out from the driver’s side, stylishly dressed in Forbes-chique, and carrying herself like you knew what the future held. In other words, you could threaten them, with a confidence which he could not find within himself.

"Same. You are a natural." You returned the kind words, wishing that it was not such a hard feat for you to do. Conveying numerical fact and artistic white lies was easy enough, but sourcing feelings from the bottom of your heart… problematic.

"If only I felt that way too..."

"Then maybe you would be less careful and therefore less of an amazing dad. It kind of reminds me of the interns at work - the more confident they are, the more likely they are to commit an error." You gave Seonghwa a light pat on his upper arm as you attempted, in your own special say, to comfort him.

"Are you saying people should have low confidence and self-esteem?"

"No, what I am saying is that unshakeable confidence that is beneficial to a person is one that is built through experience. Many, many years of it. I bet you know the car thing." Anything to make the topic relatable to you; you were searching once more for any way to remove yourself from the concept of family, make it more 'user friendly', but this only served to add to the confusion.

"Car thing?”

"You know, the whole thing about some of the most reckless drivers being those who already have a license, have driven just enough to think they are the shit - so like, one or two years, and then... get to experience the joys of insurance, in the best-case scenario."

"Hah, noted. So, basically, stay alert."

"Guess so, but with a kid a lot of it is just a constant learning journey, isn't it?"

"Yep, just people constantly figuring things out. From fees to Nari suddenly not liking a food she was obsessed with for a year to her wanting to try doing something independently when we are running late..."

"You have the patience of a saint, Hwa."

"Job requirement, no?"

"I wish it was."

Silence fell over the two of you as you let the phrase slip. Seonghwa was not sure about how to respond, and you were not sure how to change the topic of conversation without making it sound too jarring.

It was obvious that your mind had gone elsewhere, miles, or perhaps it was more correct to say decades, from the conversation. You were looking inwards, searching for something, trying to clamber up your barriers. But it appeared to be a fruitless venture, as you repeatedly tried to start a sentence, words on the tip of your tongue, only for it to go dry and sabotage you at the last second. This turn of the discussion had striken a dissonant chord with you. Even though Seonghwa would not dare begin to guess why, he knew that it was essential he lightened the mood. It just felt right.

"Then you would be walking on thin ice, Y/N." He leaned over and whispered into your ear, beaming.

"Hey! I'll have you know I am a professional!"

"Yeah, yeah... sure. I have no doubt your market forecasting capabilities."

"Backhanded, but I'll take the compliment... you're right, not with kids." You huffed and took one final slurp of your drink. Compared to your relative optimism a couple of days ago, you could only perceive yourself as a trainwreck.

"I am only joking though, I think you have some talent. You say that but at the same time, Nari really took to you. I can see it. What we have to work on is you not getting jump-scared by everything she does and relax. We will help each other. We're husband and wife after all."

The phrase made you freeze in place. Right. That was exactly what you had signed up for. That title so you could flex it in front of your colleagues, and most importantly your bosses so that you would have a shot at bigger money, bigger dreams. Was this fair on Nari? Was this fair on Seonghwa?

You hummed in half-hearted agreement, tuning into the atmosphere surrounding you and Seonghwa. A myriad of questions glimmering above you like the stars dotting the sky. Constellations of misconceptions and miscommunications that were yet to be put right, or learned to be ignored for the better of you both. As you felt the presence beside you lean forward and sigh, breath abandoned to an infinite expanse of anxieties and hushed ruminations, a morbid curiosity began to plague you. Was it too late to do anything? What was it that you were actually trying to achieve here? Was a promotion the result, or the pretense? You rubbed your temples, with your inner wrists, disconcerted by the audacity which your inner conscious seemed to have. If you had said: goal, it meant goal. Funny how you needed to remind yourself of it, even if you had deemed it so important.

After a few more minutes of staring out into the dark, in silence that was filled only by the rustling of the tree leaves, you felt that it was time to leave, if you wanted to remain level-headed and prepared for an interrogation from Yunho. With a stretch, you pushed yourself off the steps and wobbled into a standing position, much to Seonghwa's surprise. Though that did not last long, and his face relaxed in recognition. Turning back, you were about to pick up the empty bottle, but he quickly intercepted, not giving you as much as a chance, only mumbling 'I've got it, don't worry' on repeat.

"But I feel like I have not done anything to help you today?"

"There will be tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. Don't worry, if you want your hands full, I can organise that pretty fast."

"No doubts about that. Once events coordinator, always events coordinator, right?"

"Absolutely. And organising a bunch of frat bros is a very good parent prep experience, I’ll tell you that one for free."

"Welp, I hope I won't be as much trouble..."

"I'm not too worried for the beginning, it's once you get comfortable..."

"Right, okay, same rule applies to me then: stay alert."

"In a meerkat fashion." With astonishing speed, Seonghwa rocked forwards and stood up beside you, running a hand through his locks to smooth them down after being rashly disheveled. Then to imitate the furry animal, he bent his arms at the elbow and wrist, earning an amused chuckle from you, along with a grin which you hid behind a closed hand, with a knuckle pressed to your lips.

“And to think you’re a grown man with a kid.”

“To be a good parent, you need to be a little bit like a kid, Y/N. Not through and through, but a smidgen is enough.” When you did not answer, he added more encouragement, hoping that his promises were significant enough to leave a positive effect on you.

Seonghwa would not want to admit it to you just yet, seeing how you were still adamant on abiding by business restrictions, albeit loosely, but throughout the day, he was hesitant to treat your appearance as something temporary. Ignoring time restrictions, he had indulged in fantasies of ‘what could be’ if you were to stay even for just a bit longer. But that was only natural to do after meeting someone from the past, right? To add, he did not want to regret his decision to introduce you to Nari, and Nari to you. If you two were to bond, and then you would take your leave… Seonghwa would never be able to forgive himself for letting you into the little circle he called family. The signs were already there, of his daughter quickly warming up to you, and it was only a matter of time until the point of no return would be reached.

You had heard of the notion that Seonghwa was explaining to you before this – to understand a child you needed to have an ability to tap into an inner child, a healthy, happy and nurtured one, that was. That was where your comprehension stopped, and you had previously ceased to bother. But now, as you were about to part with today and step into tomorrow as a changed woman, you guessed that this might be something worth learning. So long as you could sustain the belief that this was for a role than a calling.

“Right, so, um… I better get going… it’s getting kind of late…” you cleared your throat and announced, stumbling over your words slightly as Seonghwa would not take his eyes off you, following all your gesticulations and reading nuance.

“You sure? I can organise something for you here, so you don’t have to travel. I’d be more than happy to.”

“See, I have this thing tomorrow, and um, before that need to, you know, do some human things and uh, change and stuff…” your rambling did little to make you appear convincing, but Seonghwa was kind enough to not inquire further – you were sure that if he did, you would have cracked. When it came to him, you had always struggled to make up excuses and fables, even if sometimes that could have saved both of you from hurt.

“Okay.” What was new in your dynamic was how accepting and empathic Seonghwa had become. Or who knew, maybe he had always been that way, but in university had tried to hide himself away in the effort to appear ‘cool’.

In a spur of guilt as you followed Seonghwa back into the house to fetch your shoes, you spontaneously offered to drive him and his daughter to kindergarten on Monday morning. You could see the young man hiding his reaction from you by appearing busy.

“And what makes you think we couldn’t find a place in the local one?”

“Because the activity centre was hell knows where?”

“Fair point. And you’re right, kindergarten is equally far, so I’ll gladly take you up on that offer.” He agreed, and provided you the details of timings, and promised to send you the address.

Fumbling for a way to say goodbye, Seonghwa and you stood on either side of the doorframe, knowing that this should not be as hard as you were making it out to be. It was only once you recalled the message you had received sometime earlier that you quickly made your exit, acutely aware of his gaze trailing your journey away from the front porch to the fence, and disappearing behind the bushes. For some time after, he remained in the same place, letting himself come down from the paradise he had invented as slowly as he could, to return to functioning as a single, independent unit, at least until the dangerous play pretend were to continue on the early Monday morning.

Heart beating wildly, you crashed into the front seat of your car and sank deep until you were half lying down and able to look up at the sky. Not that the action helped distract you. Your mind was struggling to process why you were so on edge, and you desperately wanted to replace the sensation with the usual emotional numbness you associated with the concept of familial closeness. What was happening to you? You reached for your phone again, switching the mode back to see more texts flooding in both from your best friend and from Wooyoung. And the implied meaning of messages from the latter were everything but what you needed.

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| Bad Temptation : XXI |o.

Warnings : Violence, injury, graphic depictions, sex

Please, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi ! ♥

“- What are you doing here?

- A routine visit, nothing more.

- I didn't know lawyers were allowed to go around bars, it must be bad for the CV.”

Heisukei only gives a small laugh, which makes Hoseok wrinkle his nose. Crossing his arms over his chest, he settles more comfortably into his office chair, looking for the slightest sign in this abject individual that would give him some meaning to this whirlwind visit. But there was nothing in the lawyer's body language to make him understand why he'd set foot in his establishment. This made him rather nervous. The demon remains on his guard, knowing that Heisukei could have been up to anything, just for fun.

“- I've reread all our laws, you know.

- Good for you.

- And I've never found a law that explains why demons like you can't come back to Earth, open businesses, steal the work of honest people.”

Hoseok remained silent for a few seconds, before slowly straightening up. The audacity of this individual will always amaze him. A bitter chuckle passes his lips as he lets his chair slide back to his feet. He'd never liked Heisukei, and it wasn't just because he was his girlfriend's ex-spouse, although that was part of it. No, he didn't like Heisukei because something seemed wrong with him from the first time he'd met his gaze, something he hadn't yet put his finger on.

“- I'm sorry to hear that you don't yet know how to read our laws. So I invite you to do so and come back later.

- Oh. I don't think you'll be here to greet me anyway. After all, as the mayor stipulated in his last mandate, we no longer accept any unauthorized individuals on our territory.”

Hoseok gazes at him with dark eyes, but says nothing. He watches the three men escorting Heisukei into his office. They smell bad, worse than a rotting zombie, which sends shivers down his spine. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on. Yet Hoseok remains calm, much more so than he would have expected in such a situation. He takes his jacket and one of his best bottles from the shelf, joining the door without being asked.

“- It's been a long time since I've had a vacation. How generous of you.

- I'm delighted we finally understand each other.

- But don't expect to profit from my establishments. Hell has no shortage of your kind, Mr. Damarro, don't you ever forget that.”

When Hoseok walks through the door, he doesn't need to do much for the entire building, along with hundreds of other businesses, to disappear. All that's left is a lot of empty, unkempt land. Heisukei stares into space for long minutes before tapping his foot on the dusty ground, railing against the whole planet, and everything he can.

“- Mr. Damarro…

- What now?

- The mayor wants to see you.”

He takes a deep breath, then simply nods. The journey is silent. None of his guards really dares to speak, and they're all almost relieved when they arrive at the town hall. The town's central building had lost some of its splendor, but Heisukei doesn't dwell on the old building. He walked through the corridors as if he owned the town hall, wrinkling his nose and eyebrows at the sickening scene before him: Mr. Choi, the old vampire who couldn't bear to lose his establishment, was naked, accompanied by a demon. He hisses through his teeth, expressing his disdain, and the young woman quickly disappears into black dust, causing the new mayor to grumble.

“- I was having fun! I wasn't expecting you for at least two hours.

- Let's just say my visit was cut short. What's wrong?

- I still haven't taken back the establishment that was stolen from me. Why? You promised me power and control!

- The Jeon family played their cards faster than I thought. Unfortunately, someone didn't inform me that the wedding season was about to open.

- As if I could. You know very well I have no way of knowing.”

Heisukei refrains from commenting on this stupid mistake. He should be more careful now that he'd stirred up the anthill. Surely alienating the major families wasn't a rich idea. But when you're like him, impatient, you want it all, right away. It was probably stupid, but that was part of his charm after all. He tugged at his jacket, feeling a whiff of disgust as he watched the old man put clothes back on, then walked over to the window, looking at his empire at hand.

“- Your business is ruined, you'll never get it back. The Jeon family did it right. Get over it, we've got work to do, and something far more important than your stupid press.

- What a waste, a thriving business in the hands of a fake vampire. What a shame.”

Heisukei lets out an unpleasant, knife-like laugh, turning to the old man. He glares at him, disgusted by this filthy being. There had always been something disgusting about this odious character. But he was a useful pawn, one he could manipulate to his heart's content without having to fear the consequences. He knew the time would come, and he looked forward to the moment when he would crush him like a common insect. The old man stepped back, obviously not that stupid. Heisukei blew out his breath to relax, looking out over the city again. Soon, everything would be his. His big day would come, and no one would be there to stop him. Taehyung and Jungkook's wedding was just a futility, nothing more. If that idiot Lysa had played her part properly… That's why he didn't like entrusting important tasks to stupid pawns, because afterwards, you had to pick up the pieces. He moistens his lips, turning back to the old man, a little calmer.

“- What about the Kim mansion? Did you have it demolished as requested?

- Actually… that is…

- That what? The tone startled the man, who lowered his head, like a child caught at fault. - Mr. Jeon stopped by City Hall this morning… and…

- And what?

- He bought the mansion from my secretary… during our meeting.”

The office passes through the window, making a hell of a noise. This will most certainly appear in the papers the next day, because of those rapacious journalists incapable of respecting people's privacy. But it goes right over the sorcerer's head, his anger exploding as he waltzes around the furniture, under the terrified gaze of the mayor, who is looking for a corner to hide in.

“- I gave clear instructions. I'm surrounded by incompetents.”

The bookcase flies out, crushing the old man under the floorboards. Heisukei pisses even more at this umpteenth stupidity. Blood drips between the shelves, and he stands there for a minute contemplating the lifeless body. The first generations of vampires were really fragile, and this makes him nauseous. What a waste. He adjusts the folds of his jacket, before stepping out of the office under the appalled and terrified gazes of the secretaries.

“- Mr. Mayor has had an unfortunate accident. Please notify the emergency services.

- Yes, sir…

- From now on, I'll be at the head of the city. Send out a press release. I'll be giving an interview first thing Friday.”

Like little ants, the two vampires hurried to obey his orders, running in all directions, clumsy and indelicate. Heisukei couldn't understand how such an inferior species could be treated so well. This would be one of the first things he'd put in place: only superior beings would be entitled to the best things, the rest are just insects, malleable people. They don't need rights, just to serve those above them and keep quiet. He feels soothed by this thought, calmly rejoining his car.

“- Kim's Restaurant.”

[asexual-levia-tan]

now this is just because i just reread the part with choi han receiving cjs's memories but

like, theres no way ron doesnt know somethings up, and maybe they'll have a long conversation about it after they leave the central plains

but. if cale and sui khan's theory about the earth's apocalypse being caused by the hunters is correct. surely they'll have to go back to earth 1 at some point? and wouldnt it be way more fun for ron and beacrox to run into kim rok soo and be like "wait. this guy is so familiar......"

[kvothes]

it’s the final day of 🌷national poetry month🌷 and, as they say, i’m letting it end not with a bang but a whimper. not in my nature to be long-winded and such but this has been really fun and i hope it has opened poetry for a few folks. if you’ve had a favorite, please drop a line and let me know!

above are six of my favorite books of poetry i’ve read so far this year: still falling by jennifer grotz; all the flowers kneeling by paul tran; after nature by w.g. sebald; scriptorium by melissa range; the world keeps ending, and the world goes on by franny choi; and ballast by quenton baker.

honorable mention to some rereads i have also loved: the unstill ones by miller oberman, incarnadine by mary szybist, and eyes bottle dark with a mouthful of flowers by jake skeets.

[wifelinkmtg]

Neon Dynasty Kami- wait hang on

Are we still on Innistrad? I thought we did Innistrad last time. Excuse me while I review the previous post.

***

Yes, it seems we started Innistrad, but I got sidetracked by talking about all the corrupted angels from Shadows block. Odd. When I try to remember the process of writing the last post, there aren’t any specifics, just this... warm, hazy thrum. That’s probably fine, right?

Anyway.

INNISTRAD: MIDNIGHT HUNT + CRIMSON VOW, CONTINUED

Henrika Domnathi (art by Billy Christian)

It really is so easy to make vampires hot, isn’t it? Like there’s a formula: take a pretty woman, give her opulent clothes, put a little trickle of blood from her mouth as a crack in the facade of controlled civility, right, just to indicate that she may look like nobility but is in fact a decadent animal, and then give her a wine glass full of blood and have her hover a bit. There you go: buttons pushed, hotness achieved.

Henrika, Infernal Seer (art by Billy Christian)

Oh, by the way, Henrika apparently drinks demon blood exclusively, which is a cool character detail I thought you should know. There is something very Mardi Gras about this whole look, which just makes me want to reread some of Caitlín R. Kiernan’s New Orleans short stories. Actually, you could do a very interesting Innistrad reskin using Kiernan’s mythology, their dog-like ghouls and Southern vampires in houses with decaying wallpaper. Wizards of the Coast did a bunch of alternate versions of cards from Crimson Vow as Dracula characters - I’m imagining something similar with Jimmy de Sade as Sorin, Salmagundi as Avacyn, and so forth. Free Secret Lair idea, if Wizards want to make a product with a target audience of one.

MUCH LIKE THAT WHOLE PARAGRAPH. LET’S MOVE ON, PLEASE.

Gisa, Glorious Resurrector (art by Yongjae Choi)

You know, there is something really compelling about a woman who is passionate about her art, even if that art is raising the dead. Not a lot of fun to be had on Innistrad, generally speaking, but Gisa is having the time of her life: bloody cleaver, picnic basket full of hands, horde of adoring undead, evil shovel. Some respond to the horrors of Innistrad by retreating to the safety of ritual or religion, hiding in their hamlets, hands gripping axe or torch, mouths set in grim hope. Gisa responded to the horrors by saying, “I could do your job better, actually,” and it is working out great for her. Apologies to Olivia Voldaren, but Gisa is Innistrad’s premier girlboss and it is not close.

Bat Whisperer (art by Jodie Muir)

I’m sure the other vampires get judgy about how Sabrina’s always getting fully contoured and dressed to the nines just to go lounge around on rooftops with bats, but frankly she has captivated me with her #AutisticGirlSwag. I am so excited to learn all about the difference between bat species in Nephalia and Stensia.

Saryth, the Viper’s Fang (art by Igor Kieryluk)

There aren’t any gorgons on Innistrad, so Saryth has decided to DIY it. About eighty percent of the sex appeal here is the massive, luminous constrictor. That’s not just me, right? Igor made the snake really hot, right?

ANYWAY, YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE CROSSBOW SEGMENT OF OUR SHOW.

Apprentice Sharpshooter (art by Steve Prescott)

Personally I think it’s good to have to watch out for spikes when you kiss a pretty woman. There’s a lovely textural contrast between cold pointy metal and the softness and warmth of fur and skin. More spikes on women in 2023, please.

Bloodthirsty Adversary (art by Heonhwa Choe)

Yes, like that, exactly! Spiked pauldron, spiked hips, double crown of thorns, and we’ve escalated to two crossbows. She will kill you, unfortunately, but you’ll get to experience several interesting and different piercing sensations on the way out.

Sawblade Slinger (art by Joshua Raphael)

And speaking of escalation, um. Look. We can argue about whether the Fuck-Off Buzzsaw Hurler is technically a crossbow, but I hope we can all agree that it is an Effective Visual Metaphor for the best goddamn strap game in Innistrad.

THIS HAS BEEN THE CROSSBOW SEGMENT OF OUR SHOW. THANK YOU.

Creepy Puppeteer (art by Marie Magny)

If you’re not at least curious about what it would feel like to get double-teamed by a lovely hammer-wielding maniac and her mannequin duplicate, you might be reading the wrong blog. Hey Marie, this is pretty good, but can we get the horny turned up a couple hundred percent?

Blood Hypnotist (art by Marie Magny)

Amazing, thank you so much. Where to even begin with this? I don’t know exactly what blood hypnosis entails, but I would very much like to learn. The dominating eye contact, the blood-soaked talons, the coy little heart in blood on her previous victim’s face (”previous” because what this image communicates above all else is “you’re next,”) fat braids straining against their prison of riveted leather strips, the way the outline of her head irresistibly suggests a praying mantis head (that one’s just for me, thank you!), and - why not - fat tits into the bargain. Honestly, the only thing that could possibly make this any hornier would be the visible bulge of her thick cock, which I’m sure they only didn’t do because this game is 13+. Then again, they printed this card as-is, so I guess Magic: the Gathering is real educational, huh? Tap lands, cast spells, make friends, feel things about card art you can’t yet identify but which will shape whole swathes of the rest of your life.

Alright, that’s been Innistrad, a welcome change of pace from almost two years of mostly-neutered art. Thanks for going on this journey with me!

NEXT TIME: CYBERPUNK, ART DECO, AND TAMIYO'S HOT GIRL MAKEOVER COMES AT A TERRIFYING COST!

[haloslips]

@msmargaretmurry tagged me to post 9 books i love/recommend! i'm staring at my bookshelf rn like, can i remember 9 books i've ever read? let's find out!

on a sunbeam by tillie walden - this is a graphic novel but it counts. what a good story, beautifully told, incredibly illustrated. tillie walden is an artist who speaks to my soul i think

the crying of lot 49 by thomas pynchon - this was my favorite book for a great number of years. it's short but complex and it holds up when i reread it now. if you're scared to read pynchon bc he writes the longest books ever, this is the one for you.

the world keeps ending and the world goes on by franny choi - a book of poetry i picked up this year that i loved so so much, i have so many pages marked and passages underlined, i go back to it all the time.

i wasn't going to do this but beartown by fredrick backman - it's about hockey the same way friday night lights is about football. really character-driven, such a beautiful story, my fav book!!

you were born for this by chani nicholas - this is a silly little astrology workbook but it's fun! if you have a burgeoning/young interest in astrology it's worth picking up imo

before the borderless: dialogues with the art of cy twombly by dean rader - this is a book of poems in conjunction with a lot of cy twombly art & sketches. dean rader is a poet i had the pleasure of seeing perform live this past winter and this book is gorgeous. it's in collaboration with the cy twombly foundation and if you've ever been interested in poetry or twombly's art this is a great book

the fire never goes out by nd stevenson - graphic memoir by nd stevenson, creator of nimona, show runner of she-ra and the princesses of power; it includes mental illness discussion & gender feelings and it really spoke to me.

watership down - richard adams - i'll be surprised if this book isn't on everyone's radar but i reread it about once per year. but such a vitally fundamental book for me!!

beetle & the hollowbones by aliza layne - this is a kids graphic novel (middle grade maybe?) so ymmv with how into it you are but it's the PERFECT spooky szn read to me, an easy read about a chaotic little goblin who's in love with a cat girl and lives with her even more chaotic goblin grandma. i've reread it many times!!

i am not going to tag anyone but if you see this and want to do it, please do!! and tag me about it!! i want to hear your book recs and hear you talk about your fav books!

[themimsyborogove]

I've gotta rant ✋😔 I love Malcom so much, I have to say it, honestly he's so chill and cool — murder aside and all, yk, my heart BREAKS for him. yes he's done awful things, and he had to be stopped, but he shouldn't have had to go through what he did alone. at the end in the prologue, when he says he'll never trust another Shadowhunter again, it was the only time I cried throughout chot 😭 my guy deserves better

also, whenever Lucie & Grace visited Mal for the first time, when they ask about necromancy, he gets so excited about people coming to him to learn about something — different than what Shadowhunters usually want from him 😔 why didn't we get to see more of that side from him??? we were ROBBED your honour 🥲

Malcolm is such a great character, and definitely my favorite villain of the series. It’s so easy to see how he got to the point he did, but also by TDA, he’s too far past the point of redemption to get any other ending than what he got (though I do wish Annabel had gotten a better storyline after that, and will be forever salty about it).

I just reread RSoM because I finished CHoI a little too early before CHoT released, and Malcolm’s magic fight with Barnabas is still one of my favorite parts of the book. It’s so much fun to read every time I go back to it, and I love all his bonkers spells.

Also the scene in LoS where he shows back up all corpsified and gross, carrying Jon Cartwright’s severed head is one of the few moments in the series that genuinely shocked me so bad I jumped up and started pacing the house while I read.

Really, every time he’s on the page—whether it’s heartbreaking, or hilarious, or horrifying—is entertaining, which is what makes a great character

[we-stan-cale]

Another key moment that I was too caught up in to blog about was when Cale and Choi Han met after Choi Han received the records from Choi Jung Soo.

We did kind of suspect it was coming, given Cale heard that Choi Han had collapsed after saying something about Choi Jung Soo - and at the time he seemed fairly calm about the prospect? His attitude seemed to be 'Choi Han might figure things out and be upset with me, but at least he's alive. We can deal with it so long as he's alive.'

And then there he is, burning up a lake of dead mana during a major fight, when Raon reports that Choi Han woke up...

Woke up crying, shouting about 'Kim Rok Soo', and immediately headed for Cale.

I guess first of all - what an amazing way to get one of Cale's closest compatriots to understand some of Cale's secrets. And history.

We all know Cale wasn't going to say shit, and his friends have seen enough to trust him even though they can tell Cale keeps a lot to himself, but we now have a solid reason (Choi Jung Soo passing along his ability, which required the records/memories) for at least one of them to know more. (With Alberu learning more later, and I suspect others eventually learning too).

This signifies yet another major shift in their relationship. One where Choi Han is much more of a friend than the subordinate he acted as initially. Not that he stops acting as Cale's knight, but there's a closeness that wasn't really there before. (All of which becomes even more obvious with Cale, Choi Han, and Alberu during the sealed god's test - and they are an amazing trio there! It was so fun starting my reread and remembering where they began, because they grow so close over the course of the story).

We also see some of what Choi Han saw, and I think this is the first time we really got an outside perspective of who Kim Rok Soo was before the transmigration.

Not just that, but hints of what Kim Rok Soo, Choi Jung Soo, and Lee Soo Hyuk were like before their tragic fight against the unranked monster.

We see how Kim Rok Soo supported the team with information, how he grabbed a metal board to block an attack on Choi Jung Soo, and even broke an arm in the process. Something Cale skipped over in his own flashback to the same event.

For the first time, we can truly see how Cale only tells part of the story...

We can tell Kim Rok Soo was devastated, not that it wasn't obvious before, but Choi Jung Soo was worried about him.

We also learn that, as Choi Jung Soo put it:

He would also take this Kim Rok Soo who claimed he was going to be a slacker and put him to work. If he left this punk to be a slacker, he was bound to go cause trouble somewhere. He and the team leader discussed making him farm with them, so that they won’t have to go save his ass.

Choi Han himself indicates that he figured out that Cale was Kim Rok Soo partly because they acted exactly the same.

And really, what sorts of things did Kim Rok Soo get up to, that they think he's a loose canon like that?

So team leader Kim Rok Soo probably was also constantly making trouble... Ah, the stories Team 1 could probably tell.

We have all that history, have Choi Han rushing to meet Cale on the battlefield...

And then we have one of the most ridiculous encounters imaginable.

Cale seems awkward and unsure on a way I don't think we've ever seen before. He's stuttering and worrying about things that seem kind of more a distraction than real concerns, and is avoiding his gaze (though he did make an opening for Choi Han in the wall of fire he set up while burning the dead mana, so he wasn't exactly avoiding Choi Han).

We also see how Cale is closely observing Choi Han for signs of anger, how he focuses on Choi Han's unthinking and instinctual touching of his sword which - is probably because of his traumatic childhood? We can see some of what Choi Han was thinking and knew he wasn't even considering hurting Cale, but Cale was obviously concerned about that).

And in the midst of all this. In the midst of this big dramatic moment, we have Raon commenting on how weird their being and - perhaps the most amusing part - the cheapskate ancient power still purifying the dead mana.

Yes, cheapskate. Good job. Keep on purifying that dead mana while Cale and Choi Han have their big moment.

Oh, whoops. I guess a major battle isn't really the time or place for that. Enter Dorph the Lion King, who won't even let them finish their conversation.

This whole encounter is equally moving and hilarious, really. And it's so nice that Cale finally has someone who really knows him.

[mikarchive2]

what i read in february 2023 📚

1. teatro grottesco by thomas ligotti - ★★★★ - picked this up because i randomly read one of his short stories on a train once and was so enamoured ... a short story collection centered around a subtle existential sort of horror that is less about gore and violence and more about something unknown but dreadful lurking in your peripheral vision . some of these, especially the ones from the deformations section, felt very welcome to night vale . delicious . makes you feel like a kid listening to scary campfire stories . i enjoy hanging out in the world created by this narrative voice so much

favourites: purity, the town manager, the clown puppet, my case for retributive action + in a foreign town, in a foreign land

2. the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher - ★★ - i think what im doing here is trying to read a fairytale retelling every month 👍 ... this really did not work for me though . the writing style felt so childish ( this could have been a book for twelve year olds ) + the story did not go anywhere and stayed extremely surface-level throughout the whole book . yeah sure there were lesbians but no actual substance whatsoever . the reading process was somewhat enjoyable because the humor was alright, but thats pretty much the only redeeming quality

3. the world keeps ending, and the world goes on by franny choi - ★★★ - i believe this is a case of ‘its not you its me’ because even though the way the author plays with language is straight up fascinating something about her poetry never clicks with me . i had the exact same issue with soft science as well - there is a certain detachment and coldness to her style that doesnt allow me to properly process the poems on an emotional level . still, i really liked the fourth section, it was so imaginative and full of the kind of resilience that is only born out of utter hopelessness

4. the passion by jeanette winterson - ★★★ - unfortunately i have the same issue here as with franny choi - something in me just always refuses to click with jeanette winterson . the author is trying to lead me somewhere by the hand but she is always slightly out of reach . this is my third book by her and while i can see and appreciate her craft it just never leaves a lasting impression on me its so strange ... i enjoyed the imagery + the philosophical ideas about love and passion but the story itself ... i dont know

5. the sandman: world’s end ( vol. 8 ) by neil gaiman - reread - i am not rating these god bless and putting them in the review post is probably not a good idea either since i ramble about them enough as is . what can i even say about a series that pretty much formed the way i understand the world and the human condition . stories within stories within stories . the foreshadowing here is insane and probably unnoticeable unless you are rereading . its hard to say what the writing process here was actually like perhaps it was way more spontaneous than i imagine but it all seems so meticulously and purposefully planned its just stunning

( + two books i left unfinished last year because of my broken ebook reader and decided to finish this month: )

6. wyrd sisters by terry pratchett - ★★★ - ( looks above ) my reading order here is very ‘frequently bought together’ ‘do not separate them’ huh ... this was very shakespearean which was fun but not ideal for me personally because it means some things definitely flew right over my head . i think i enjoyed equal rites a little more ? however at the end of the day its just your typical discworld novel i laughed i witnessed some well-written women and losermen i laughed some more . what else could i ask for

7. when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities by chen chen - ★★★★ - wonderfully heart-warming and radiant and witty and has the power to restore your belief in love and tenderness at least for a moment . this kind of literal and confessional american poetry usually isnt for me but miraculously chen chen made it work ! basically the hype is well deserved

up next: im actually not sure im trying to slow down since i need to get through some college textbooks 💔 ... + im sure want to finish the sandman which is really enough for the next one thousand years . considering mrs. dalloway by virginia woolf too someone called it a spring read once and ive wanted to read it during this season ever since