#chl alumni game

[mitchbeck]

RANGERS ENTER AFFILIATION AGREEMENT WITH ECHL’S BLOOMINGTON BISON

By: Alex Thomas, Hartford Wolf Pack HARTFORD, CT – New York Rangers President and General Manager Chris Drury announced today that the club has entered an affiliation agreement with the ECHL’s Bloomington Bison. The Bison will function as a development affiliate for the Rangers and their primary developmental affiliate, the AHL’s Hartford Wolf Pack. “Entering an affiliation agreement with the ECHL’s newest team in the Bloomington Bison is an exciting opportunity for the New York Rangers,” said Rangers Assistant General Manager and Wolf Pack General Manager Ryan Martin. “We take pride in building our team with competitive players from our minor league affiliates. Bloomington, as well as the continued partnership of the Hartford Wolf Pack, will provide us with even more resources to succeed in developing our prospects.” The Bison will play home games at Grossinger Motors Arena in Bloomington, IL. The club’s inaugural season will be in 2024-25. Phillip Barski will serve as the head coach of the team. The native of Richmond Hill, ON, spent the last two seasons on the coaching staff of the OHL’s Barrie Colts. He served as an Assistant Coach during the 2022-23 season, then spent the 2023-24 campaign as the Associate Coach. Before joining the Colts, Barski spent two seasons as an Assistant Coach with the ECHL’s Greenville Swamp Rabbits. “This affiliation with such a celebrated franchise as the New York Rangers brings a new level of excitement and prestige to Bloomington,” said City Manager Jeff Jurgens. “We look forward to the positive impact this partnership will have on the city and the electrifying hockey it will bring to Grossinger Motors Arena.” While the Bison will play their first season in the ECHL starting in October, the city has a long hockey history. The Bloomington Prairie Thunder of the UHL/IHL (2006-2010) and CHL (2010-11) were the first professional teams to play out of the Central Illinois city. The Bloomington Blaze of the CHL (2011-2013) then took the spotlight before moving to the SPHL as the Bloomington Thunder (2013-14). The city has also been the home to junior hockey. The USHL’s Bloomington franchise was known as the Thunder from its inception in 2014 through the 2016-17 season. They were rebranded as the Central Illinois Flying Aces for the 2017-18 and 2018-19 seasons. Notable Bloomington hockey alumni include forwards Mitchell Chaffee (USHL Thunder, TBL), Tyler Madden (USHL Flying Aces, LAK), and Walker Duehr (USHL Thunder, CGY), defensemen Wyatt Kalynuk (USHL Thunder, STL), Michael Callahan (USHL Flying Aces, BOS), Jeremy Davies (USHL Thunder, BUF), Brogan Rafferty (USHL Thunder, DET), Vince Pedrie (USHL Thunder), and Ryan Siedem (USHL Flying Aces, HFD), and goaltender Mitch Gibson (USHL Flying Aces, WSH). Kalynuk (2022-23), Pedrie (2016-17 – 2018-19), and Siedem (2023-24) all suited up for the Wolf Pack during their professional careers. Siedem is under contract with the club for the 2024-25 season. About Oak View Group (OVG): Oak View Group (OVG) is the global leader in live experience venue development, management, premium hospitality services, and 360-degree solutions for a collection of world-class owned venues, and a client roster of arenas, convention centers, music festivals, performing arts centers, and cultural institutions. Founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015, OVG is the leading developer of major new venues, either open or under development across four continents. Visit OakViewGroup.com, and follow OVG on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and X. ABOUT THE HARTFORD WOLF PACK: The Hartford Wolf Pack has been a premier franchise in the American Hockey League since its inception in 1997. The Wolf Pack is the top player-development affiliate of the NHL's New York Rangers and plays at the XL Center. The Wolf Pack has been home to some of the Rangers' newest faces, including Igor Shesterkin, Filip Chytil, and Ryan Lindgren. Follow the Wolf Pack on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. HARTFORD WOLF PACK HOWLINGS Read the full article

[gustavnyquist]

Uhh, yes, hi, hello, Jeff Skinner played hockey in my hometown today and @tomastatars and I got to see him!! He plays like a happy puppy and is always smiling and it’s precious. We also got signatures from Adam Henrique, Taylor Hall, Matt Martin, Josh Bailey, Matt Puempel, and Eric Wellwood :) It was pretty awesome, this hosting the Mem Cup thing has been great ❤

[larkin]

6,8,9,18,19

6. Best-looking uniforms/logo?

I answered this with the Wings before, so I will change my answer this time. I’m going to go with the third jerseys for both the Avalanche and the Blue Jackets (I don’t love the cannon but I like the soft cream colour instead of regular white against the different blues + I’m a sucker for the ties at the top).

8. What hockey merch do you own?

I have one actual jersey, and it’s a Dylan Larkin Red Wings home jersey that I got for my birthday from my mom. I have a couple shirts with player names on them, though. They are: Dylan Larkin, Zach Werenski, Tomas Tatar, and Jeff Skinner (I just ordered that, though, so it’s in the mail). I also have a Red Wings cap. Idk if this counts, but I also have a puck from the 2016 All-Star Game in Nashville that I got at the Hockey Hall of Fame.   

9. Favourite Hockey Memory?

So I am admittedly new to the hockey world, but my favourite memory is definitely going to see the Red Wings play the Ottawa Senators at the Joe this April with @craigandersons. I got to watch Dylan Larkin score his first NHL short-handed goal, so that was really special for me. A second memory would be seeing Jeff Skinner play at the CHL Alumni Game this past weekend (also with @craigandersons) because he’s so smiley and wonderful.

18. Favourite hockey movie?

I haven’t seen many, but I really like Mighty Ducks, and Happy Gilmore wasn’t bad. 

19. If you could have any jersey, which team and player would you choose?

So I have my favourite player’s jersey, but the next jersey I would buy is probably a Team Canada jersey without anyone’s name on it. For the NHL, I would say a Werenski CBJ home jersey, but I’m holding out for when he becomes a Red Wing (I might be waiting a while). 

Thank you again, and I promise I will send some your way!!! 

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Fantasy Calder Candidates (Part 1), Ghost, Pettersson, & Tavares-Marner (Sept. 22nd)

    We are in it now. Preseason games are well underway. Players are experiencing the dreaded invitation into the coach’s office and being handed their one-way ticket to the American League, CHL or to the unknown. Prospects and journeymen alike are already being pencilled in for monster seasons after looking good in a preseason tilt versus non-NHLers.

  It’s truly the best time of year.

  The fantasy drafting landscape is beginning to take form as well. Many have already drafted. The rest will be sitting down between now and next weekend to make their selections. This is the most important part of the fantasy season. Sure, your campaign can be salvaged through shrewd trades, clever waiver wire additions, even a surprise or two, but the draft is where most of the butter is churned.  

  To quote Nice Guy Eddie “First things fuckin’ last”. Get your hands on Dobber’s Annual Fantasy Guide and the Prospect Report. The information in those documents will provide dividends that will last past this season. I like to go back and read of previous editions to refresh my memory on pedigrees of players and how the projections are turning out. Spoiler Alert: Many are turning out accurate.

  Friday night was host to seven preseason games. None were overly exciting – as few preseason games are. Here are some news and notes though.

  Mitch Marner and John Tavares looked dangerous once again. That should prove to be a match made in heaven. Tavares has consistently been a 30-plus goal threat but has never played at even-strength with a player who owned Marner’s vision. Expecting 40-goals from a guy who has never done it is asking a lot, but I doubt anyone will be surprised if it happens this season for JT

  Carolina’s rookies both looked good tonight. Martin Necas centred a line with Teuvo Tearvainen and Warren Foegele. Andrei Svechnikov slid in beside Sebastian Aho and Valentin Zykov. There’s a better than decent chance the two youngsters play together on the second line once the season begins. Don’t rule out Svechnikov getting cosy with Aho long term though.

  Ghost scored another one tonight. In typical Ghost fashion, he ripped the clapper from the point for the PPG. Unfortunately, he left the game after 40 minutes for “precautionary reasons”. A situation to monitor.

  **

  Friday bore witness to a swath of players landing on the waiver wire. None held any fantasy impact but there certainly were a few familiar names who once graced a fantasy roster or three.

  **

  You knew you weren’t getting out of here without me talking about Elias Pettersson and the excitement he’s been bringing this preseason. First, he all but ended Ryan Strome’s career via shame by breaking both his ankles earlier this week.

  {youtube}AhDed0lLVm8{/youtube}

    Then on Thursday evening, he made Jake Muzzin look like a beer leaguer by slipping a disgusting between the legs (both sets) drop pass to begin a goal-scoring sequence.

    {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">pants are off in vancouver <a href="https://t.co/RSL1uxOUBF">pic.twitter.com/RSL1uxOUBF</a></p>— Jason Botchford (@botchford) <a href="https://twitter.com/botchford/status/1042968459271782401?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

  His teammates back in Sweden nicknamed him The Alien because his skills are out of this world. He’s already starting to convert his North American teammates with plays like these.

  **

  As most of you know, my work and love of prospects usually ends up poking its greasy little head in my Ramblings over here at the main site. But today, I’m going full bore. We’re going to dive into the 2018-19 Calder Class and take a stroll down a few avenues: The Best Case, The Worst Case, and the Likely Result.

  This will be projecting the top rookies in the fantasy landscape from a points-only perspective.

    10. Filip Zadina

  The sixth overall selection from last June’s Entry Draft wasn’t supposed to be around that long. He was and Detroit was all too happy to grab the dynamic winger. Zadina torched the QMJHL last year and brings the one-shot goal scoring ability that every fantasy team desire.

  The issue will be deployment and quality of teammates. Detroit is in the midst of a rebuilding cycle, yet it appears someone neglected to mention that to management. The Red Wings boast a plethora of aged bottom liners that will sprinkle their lineup. It’s unlikely that the left-shot, right winger will unseat Anthony Mantha on the top line. And with Henrik Zetterberg hanging up his skates, the team’s centre depth drops off considerably behind Dylan Larkin.

  A spot on the top power play unit will go a long way in helping push the metrics in the right direction.

  The Good 30-30-60

Zadina has the goods to score and score a great deal. If he can lock down the left side on the top power play and receive passes into his wheelhouse, the puck will see some twine. Same goes If he can fight his way onto a line with Larkin. If the deployment works out and the chemistry clicks, it will be a fun season.

  The Bad 10-12-22

Just as the sweet spot needs to be extra sweet to hit the big numbers, the low end needs to be fairly dark as well. Realistically, there is a scenario that sees Zadina in the AHL (if permitted. There’s still some grey area there), or back in junior. But let’s say he sticks for the duration but fails to lock onto the first power-play unit. Its not a stretch to think that a partnership with Andreas Athanasiou may not be the most productive in the middle six. If things don’t click early and the level jumps prove to be too much, this could be a long season for the Czech-product.

  The Likely 18-15-33

Big surprise, the final outcome will likely land in the middle. Zadina is too good a goal scorer to be held down with the man-advantage, but the even-strength production will prove difficult.

    9. Henrik Borgstrōm

Traditional routes mean nothing to Henrik Borgström. Taken as a rare first rounder as a draft-plus-one player in 2016, he went from the Finnish junior leagues to the NCAA and led his team to a National Championship.

  Dubbed the Magician by his university mates, the Finnish centre owns some of the best pure puck skills of any U22 player. He can dazzle in tight and finish off a play, or shake and bake out high and set his teammates up for golden opportunities. His opportunity as a rookie in Sunrise will be the determining factor in how high his production can flourish this season.

  The Good 24-36-60

  You’ll hear me repeat these words countless times, opportunity reigns supreme. If Borgström can carve out a role on the Panthers’ top power play unit, his production will be fantasy-relevant. He’ll receive an additional boon if he leaves his natural centre ice position at the door and slides in beside Vincent Trocheck or fellow-countryman, Sasha Barkov on one of the top two lines.  

  The Bad 11-14-25

  When it comes to deployment, The Bad is also the most likely. The Panthers Added depth on the wings with the Mike Hoffman trade. They appear to like Nick Bjugstad up on the wing. And there’s no way Borgström is pushing Barkov or Trocheck out of the top two centre positions.

  That leaves centring a third line that consists of some sort of combination of Frank Vatrano, Denis Malgin, Jared McCann, or Colton Sceviour. Not exactly a who’s who of offensive dynamos. However, it’s difficult to imagine the coaching staff leaving him off the second power play unit, but his chances of seeing the top squad are unlikely.

  The Likely 19-22-41

  The reasonable result for Borgström sees him finding some success during limited deployment on the team’s third line, and time on the second power play unit. He’ll be an easy slide up the line up when injuries or inconsistencies arise. A 40-point rookie season should be viewed as a success for the talented forward. With his skill level, it’ll be just the tip of the iceberg.

    8. Ryan Donato

  Donato seemed to score goals at will in his junior season in the NCAA. The 22-year-old torched the competition to the tune of 26 goals in 29 games to lead the NCAA in goals-per-game. He even managed to score five goals in five games for the Americans at the Olympics.

  The Harvard alumni turned pro at the end of his campaign and tallied a quick five goals and nine points in 12 NHL regular season games. He saw his ice cut and eventually saw the press box during the playoffs. However, he’s been pegged by many to challenge for the Rookie of the Year due to his ‘advanced’ age and likely position in the Bruins lineup.

  The Good 30-25-55

Here we go again with that darn deployment thing. The top line is closed for business for the foreseeable future. But there is a window to slide onto the Bruins deadly top power play unit. As it stands, Bergeron, Pastrnak, Marchand and Krug are welcoming a young stud. Danton Heinen, Jake DeBrusk and Donato will all be gunning for it. Let’s say Donato takes the bumper spot and makes hay. A 30-goal season wouldn’t be outrageous.

  The Bad 15-15-30

No top power play deployment. A spot on the third line.  A difficult time getting rolling. These outcomes are plausible and if they occur, forget about 30-goals, 30 points may be difficult to hit.

  The Likely 24-20-44

Donato is a polished enough player that brings an element to the team that has been lacking outside of L1. He should get ample opportunities to be the triggerman in the middle six as the Bruins are looking to employ three scoring lines. At worst he’ll see the same role given to him on the second unit, but likely moves into that cushy top unit for stretches too. With the fifth spot on the Bergeron unit being sought after by young players, there is bound to be ups and downs and rotations aplenty.

    7. Eeli Tolvanen

Tolvanen’s exploits in the KHL as an 18-year-old have been discussed ad nauseam. After blowing past the U19 record, he nearly broke the U20 scoring mark as well. He crossed the pond, saw a bit of action in Nashville and then was promptly sent to the press box to watch the contender try and contend. This season he’ll be more than a spectator.

  The Good 30-28-58

While he won’t be dislodging Filip Forsberg off the top line left wing, the right-shot sniper could find himself playing with the big boys on the power play. Forsberg has played the point on that top unit in the past and if the team feels Arvidsson can be the net front player instead of Craig Smith, Tolvanen can blast away from his usual spot at the top of the circles.

  With Kevin Fiala sliding up to RW1 and looking strong, Tolvanen should have an easier route to the second line left-wing job next to Kyle Turris at evens. If all that occurs, this kid has the release to score a bushel of goals as a rookie.

  The Bad 16-14-30

Stuck on line three with Nick Bonino and cueing up his bomb on the second power play unit. That second unit still boasts talent like Roman Josi, Ryan Ellis and Turris and Fiala, so if they see enough time, they can do some damage. However, if he’s hunkered down with Bonino during five-on-five play, the production will suffer greatly.

  The Likely 25-20-45

The likely result sees Tolvanen earn quality time on the second line and second power play unit. Neither will result in massive metrics but its difficult to keep a goal-scoring threat like Tolvanen down for long. He should establish himself as a true weapon off the rush and with the one-timer. He joins a team that enjoys scoring by committee and he should become a large part of that in a hurry.

    6. Martin Necas

Necas was something of a surprise to crack the Hurricanes’ roster last season. He lasted a single game and went back to the Czech Republic where his game flourished. He was sensational at the World Junior Championships, looked strong at the Worlds, and appears ready to take on true minutes in Carolina this year.

  The Good 23-35-58

The good happened last spring when Carolina landed the second overall selection in the 2018 draft. That assured the club elite goal scorer and dynamic winger, Andrei Svechnikov. The two teenagers are likely to begin their careers on an exciting second line together, and Necas should be feeding the Russian on the power play for the next decade.

  If Necas can find immediate chemistry with Svechnikov at even-strength and land a spot on the team’s top power play unit, a sniff at 60-points is within reach.

  The Bad 13-19-32

As the broken record continues to sing, if the deployment isn’t there, nor is the production. If Necas slips to the third line and drops down to a far less potent second power play unit, it could be a season spinning his wheels.

  The Likely 17-28-45

The likely scenario sees the 19-year-old lock down a second line role with rotating wingers and finds some success. The fish will be fried during the man-advantage where he should see a good chunk of time on the top unit with stretches down on PP2.

    Check back on Monday evening for the conclusion of this list. 1-5 will surely excite the masses.

  **

  Follow me on Twitter @Hockey_Robinson

        from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-calder-candidates-part-1-ghost-pettersson-tavares-marner-sept-22nd/

[graphersdelight-blog]

Gilles Gilbert

From a CHL player to a hockey alumni, today’s post brings you Gilles Gilbert, an NHL starting goaltender that played in the 70s/80s. If you’ve been following along from past blog posts, it’s clear that I wasn’t even born yet to watch Gilles play as I started to watch games in the 90s.

The one thing I do want to point out is the absolute amazing penmanship here.  Gilles signed this Between the…

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid’s number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it’s fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won’t be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter’s @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It’s September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn’t have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he’s 45. Sure, he’s lost more than a few steps, to the point where he’d have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year’s 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that’s all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren’t exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He’s Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let’s get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren’t many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you’re over 40 and you’ve won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody’s signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here’s how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn’t have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who’ll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That’s the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That’s right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year’s standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it’s the next night, and it’s not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let’s face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr’s one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little “Where’s Jagr?” graphic, in which he’s wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don’t act like you’re not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It’s college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA ’93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week’s obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada’s Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks’ system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn’t new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn’t follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn’t get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That’s the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don’t. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren’t getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don’t think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. From a fan’s perspective, a player’s legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There’s something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It’s a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they’ll be retiring Eric Lindros’s No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It’s sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He’s also just been named one of People Magazine’s most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he’s going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL’s marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with “Vandross,” and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he’d planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis’s other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn’t someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, “I really don’t know.” I think I might have figured out why hockey players don’t get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can’t decide which I want to own more, Lindros’s shirt or Arsenio’s jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

“They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?” asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can’t yet measure up to, including a mention of “Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way” as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley’s stick measurement? How many of Canada’s other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can’t compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That’s the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros’s first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying “skin to win.” I’m so disappointed that he didn’t stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, “I want to strangle Bobby Clarke.”

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros’s dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they’re big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

“And uh, I don’t know what happened.”

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall’s staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[goalhofer]

Where They Are Now: 1970 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins

Phil Esposito: Current Tampa Bay Lightning color commentator on 970 FM & co-host of SiriusXM NHL Network Radio.

Fred Stanfield: Owns office furniture store in Buffalo, New York & organizes sabres alumni tournaments.

Jim Lorentz; Jr.: Coaches youth hockey in Hamburg, New York.

Derek Sanderson: Retired to Boston, Massachusetts after directing The Sports Group.

Ken Hodge: Boston College hockey color commentator on 1150 AM.

Johnny Bucyk: Bruins team ambassador.

Wayne Carleton: Retired after the 1977-78 WHA season.

Wayne Cashman: Retired after coaching the flyers from 1997-1998.

Garnet Bailey: Died aboard United Airlines flight 175 on September 11, 2001.

Ed Westfall: Current relationship coordinator for the Corporate Relocator.

John McKenzie: Retired after serving as a liaison for hockey development for the University of Massachusetts, Lowell.

Don Marcotte: Retired after the 1981-82 NHL season.

Danny Schock: Retired after the 1976-77 SHL season.

Bill Lesuk: Retired after the 1979-80 WHA season.

Robert Murphy: Died in Hamilton, Ontario on March 6, 2014.

Bobby Orr: Current president of the Orr Hockey Group Agency & coaches a team for the CHL Top Prospects game.

Rick Smith: Retired after the 1980-81 NHL season.

Dallas Smith: Retired to Phoenix, Arizona in 1978.

Francis Speer: Died in a snowmobile accident in Fenelon Falls, Ontario on February 12, 1989.

Gary Doak: Died in Lynnfield, Massachusetts on March 25, 2017.

Don Awrey: Retired to Naples, Florida in 1979.

Eddie Johnston: Retired from position of penguins GM in 2009.

Gerry Cheevers: Retired from position of bruins scout in 2006.

[gustavnyquist]

Oilers, canes, stars

1) Oilers!! They’re probably my favourite western conference team and I’ve watched them a lot just bc they were always the second game on after whatever the first game was on hockey night in canada when I was growing up, and like I love davo and drai and talbs and klef, so what’s not to like? What they were able to do this season was also amazing and I’m so impressed

2) Canes! They’re one of my newer favs, but as I get to know the team more I just love them and I got to see jeff play live in the chl alumni game which probably helped a lot, and lack is one of my fav goalies and I definitely plan on watching them so much more next season!

3) Stars! I love all these teams so the stars being last here is nothing on them, this team provides 100% entertain all the time and despite this rough past season, I’m excited to see them come back next year, especially with the addition of Bish!

Thank you

[larkin]

Hi I'm in love with Jeff Skinner and I have no idea when or how that happened. The Canes aren't even on my top 5 favorite team list. He just snuck up on me with his bright smiles and dimples. Oh my God his dimples are too die for. I need help!

This is perhaps the best message I have ever received?????? Agreed 100%. I saw him play in the CHL Alumni game during the Memorial Cup festivities, and he’s so sunny. What a treasure.

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv