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oddinary4bts · 2 years ago

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Hated the ending. Hated it bc I wanted it to happen and I shouldn’t!!!! This is unfair he cheated we can’t want him😭

Loved this chapter, love Chris Park, he’s a little shit and I’m all for little shits haha

Chingu (Taehyung x OC)

Summary: Dilara's best friend stops by for a night, and he and Taehyung have some choice words for each other.

Pairing: Taehyung x OC

Genre: Angst

Word count: 8.6 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: LANGUAGE (Chris Park is here, people), heartbreak, anxiety, infidelity, a very small description of smut

A/N: One of my favourite relationships finally being introduced in depth. This fic takes place around a week after Baby, It's Cold Outside.

Tagging: @bbl32 @quarter-life-crisis2 @meirkive @dreaming-with-happiness @ananya1398 @kflixnet (drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: "something pretty“ by patrick park

taehyung masterlist | main masterlist

Austria this time of year is better than freezing Germany, especially when everyone arrives for the Styrian GP this time to an unseasonably warm circuit in Spielberg. Dilara hasn’t got a motorhome of her own this time either; she and the rest of the group end up staying at the same house they stayed in for the Austrian GP. Strangely enough, she’s dreading it far less than she was the last time, especially since there’s no PR planned this time around. Plus, since it’s a Red Bull track - the Red Bull track - the team is in high spirits for a good race.

The best part about this weekend, though, for Dilara, is that Chris Park has made it down here for the weekend. He can’t stay for the actual race, which is a pity, but he’s needed back in London by Saturday afternoon for a workshop he’s doing with Fred, and Dilara chooses to humbly count her blessings that at least one of her friends is finally here.

He arrives on Thursday; she perks up when she hears a motor screeching outside, followed by a very Chris text: Where are you? No need to pretty yourself up for me, Komyshan.

Too happy to be annoyed, Dilara skips out in jeans, an oversized jumper and boots, bag in one hand and phone in the other. She throws the front door open to the gorgeous winter sun to see Chris in a brown jacket and jeans, leaning against a motorcycle and wearing Aviators that would look ridiculous on anyone but him and Tom Cruise, while he chats with Seokjin, Jungkook and - her heart skips a beat - Taehyung. The latter isn’t really talking, she notices; just standing a little behind the other two members as they make small talk with Chris.

Taehyung is the first to spot her; her stomach does a backflip when his eyes light up and a hint of a smile graces his beautiful features. Right at that moment, though, Chris spots her and his grin widens. Taking off his shades, he holds his arms open and yells “What’s up, Komyshan?” as she runs up to him.

“You’re actually here!” she exclaims, jumping up and hugging him tight, feeling her feet leave the ground as he straightens his tall frame. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy to see you, Park,” she remarks when he sets her down.

“I’ll give it an hour,” he says generously, ruffling her hair as he turns to face the others. “She’s all talk; she can’t really stand me after a while,” he explains to them.

“Sexy jacket, Dilara,” remarks Jungkook, winking.

Dilara chuckles, pretending not to notice how Taehyung frowns and lightly slaps his arm. “Thanks. Learning from Jimin, are we?”

He grins. “No, I just have the same one.”

“I’ll have her home in time for dinner,” says Chris mock-seriously to all of them before bowing slightly. When he catches sight of her amused expression, he shrugs. “What? It’s just respectful to your housemates.”

Already bracing herself for an entire afternoon of this, Dilara rolls her eyes and turns away, her gaze falling on Taehyung. He’s still standing behind the others, looking at her with a strange expression on his face, like nostalgia and something else.

All three members step back when Chris straddles the bike and she climbs on behind him, sliding her small backpack on.

“Alright, see you in a bit,” calls Chris jovially in Korean, slipping his shades on and backing up the bike.

“Be careful.” Taehyung’s voice unexpectedly cuts through, deep and sudden, and Dilara turns to see him wincing and looking away, as though cursing himself for saying anything.

For some reason, she doesn’t want him to feel embarrassed, not for saying something like that. When he hesitantly looks back at her, she nods. "Yeah," she mutters, before swallowing and placing her hands on Chris's shoulders as they zoom away.

They drive nearly thirty minutes to the outskirts of Salzburg where they find a pub - the first one she’s seen in what feels like forever. They order beers and schnitzel and, enjoying the blues music playing at an appropriate volume, catch up after months.

"You know it's only been like six weeks, right?" he points out. "We saw each other in New York the night before you flew out to Spa."

"That was just one night, though. And it doesn't count," she adds, sipping her beer, "because we were there for Lex, not to catch up."

"True. You were there for the hard part, though, during the surgery," he tells her, reaching for a fry. "Her mom was out of the woods by the time I got there."

"No way," she disagrees. "That time would've been even worse. Her mom was okay but that was when Lex had to deal with all the insurance stuff and the physio and everything. She seemed exhausted."

“Yeah, she was.” Chris sips on his drink quietly for a minute, frowning out the window. “She’s tough, though,” he murmurs, still looking outside, before swallowing and placing his drink on the table, looking up at Dilara. “She’ll be fine.”

She observes him, not fooled. “Something you want to talk about?”

“Not really.”

“Sure? Not everything you say will get back to Lexie.”

“Gee, that’s comforting.”

Dilara cracks a smile, still not swayed. “I’m serious. How is she?”

Chris frowns. “What do you mean? Don’t you talk to her?”

“Of course I do. But she’s my friend. What she tells me wouldn’t be exactly what she tells you.”

“I’m her friend, too.”

“I didn’t have sex with her, though.”

“Minor technicalities.”

“You can avoid this all you want, but don’t expect me to believe that anything about you two is minor.”

Chris glares at her. “Do we have to talk about this?”

Dilara raises her eyebrows and shrugs. “No. Actually, yeah,” she says after a moment. “Why not? I’m not going to judge you, you know? This isn’t a test.”

He pokes his tongue into his cheek and looks away, looking annoyed. “You know I’m not good at this,” he states in a low voice.

She perks up, though she tries not to show it. “Good at what?”

“This stuff. Dealing with feelings and doing the right thing and following all these - these dating rules. And she’s going through a hard time,” he adds, looking down. “She doesn’t need some fuckboy coming into her life and making it worse.”

“First of all, admitting you’re a fuckboy just goes to show that you aren’t one. Or at least, not anymore,” she amends. “And… you know I love you, but that’s such a fucking cop out answer.” It seems for a second as though he’s about to snap at her, but all he does is scoff and look out the window again.

Dilara tries again. “I’m not saying you need to ask her out right now. Or ever, really. I’m just asking…” She shrugs and sighs, “I dunno. I guess I’m just looking out for her. We both know how she feels about you.”

Chris doesn’t deny it. “I don’t want to fuck around with her either, you know. I know I won’t be good for her. Isn’t it a good thing that I know this?”

“Maybe. But she doesn’t know it. And I don’t even think that’s the real reason. Even fuckboys can become… not-fuckboys,” she points out.

He rolls his eyes. “It won’t work. She’s too…” He exhales, shaking his head “... good, I guess. And we’re friends, man, I… it’ll screw up the whole group. She’s your trainer - won’t it be the worst for you?”

She considers it. “It might be awkward,” she admits, trying not to think about how much awkwardness she’s already dealing with on a daily basis, “but I trust both of you to be adults about it.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Are you and Taehyung being adults about it?”

Dilara gapes, wondering how he zeroed in on exactly what she was thinking. “I - this is not about me.” When he smirks knowingly, she sighs in annoyance. “V and I are… we’re working around it. We’re… there’s a system… of sorts,” she rambles pathetically. She looks up from her schnitzel to see Chris looking at her with exaggerated wonder.

“I’m sorry, what did you call him?” he asks, chuckling in disbelief. “What happened to Tae?”

“He fucked a skinny idol, so now I call him by the name the rest of the world does,” she snaps.

“You call him V to his face?”

“I don’t talk to him if I can help it,” she says shortly, leaning back as the waitress sets the rest of their food in front of them. “But… I call him Kim to his face, if you must know.”

Chris snorts, shaking his head. “Shit. That’s got to be hard, though,” he allows. “How are you dealing with all of it?”

“Nice segue, but we’re coming back to you and Lexie after this.” Dilara waits for him to silently grin, before taking a deep breath. “I’m… I dunno, I’m taking it one day at a time. While counting down the days until this ends, of course.”

“Really?” He frowns, swallowing a fry whole. “What was “be careful” about, then?”

“That was…” She groans, so frustrated at how complicated this is. “I don’t know. He’s trying to be nice, I guess? But I don’t trust him and I can barely look at him without becoming a goddamn mess and after Max abandoned me in a fan’s wet dream?” She shrugs sarcastically. “I really didn’t have a choice but to start becoming cordial with them.”

“That’s what I thought,” agrees Chris, nodding. “I mean, I’m guessing the older guys would be normal, no? And Namjoon and Hoseok?” he asks, pronouncing their names exactly right.

“Yeah, they’re fine,” she mutters dismissively. “So are Jimin and Jungkook, too, actually. Jungkook’s my only workout buddy now and since friends are in short supply for me right now,” she says deliberately, pushing his shoulder, “I need to swallow my pride and take what I can get. Plus, I spend whatever time I can on the paddock, so…”

“And Taehyung?” he presses.

She swallows. “What about him? I told him to leave me alone and… he kind of is.”

“Kind of, clearly.”

“Yeah, well. Depends on the situation. Sometimes it almost feels like old times, just a bit.” She’s quiet for a moment. “And then I remember how he fucked me over and it all disappears.” She shakes her head and exhales. “You know what? If you don’t think it’ll work out with Lex, I believe you. I was sure it wouldn’t work out for us and I was right, wasn't I?”

Chris gives her a moment, looking at her with a mixture of sympathy and anger, and she has a feeling he’s recalling the first half of the season. “I kind of can’t believe you actually ended up living with them,” he says after a moment. “I mean, what are the chances?”

“I know, right?” She slowly swallows a fry. “The good thing is there actually does seem to be money coming in because the car is fantastic,” she says honestly. “I mean, I don’t know what I was hoping for in Nurburgring but that straight line speed?” She shakes her head as Chris mirrors her reaction. “Red Bull already has amazing downforce but that was a hell of a surprise.”

“Oh, it was incredible,” he agrees. “Think they’ll do the same thing this time? Or was it like a one time thing?”

“I don’t know for sure but I think one of us is getting a new power unit this time,” she confesses. “It’ll most likely be me so I’m not even all that worried about Qualifying. Austria’s a good track in general, though,” she adds, shrugging. “I’m sure I’ll make it to the top six at least.”

Chris grins proudly. “Love the confidence,” he says sincerely. “Does that mean you’re okay drinking tomorrow night?” he asks cheekily.

Dilara laughs. “I can’t get drunk, but, yeah, why not? I haven’t had a drink in ages.”

He claps his hands. “It’s a date.”

As it turns out, it’s not a date. They return back to the pub the next day after FP, only to find it about to close down because of dark, angry rain clouds hovering low in the sky.

“You can order if you like,” the red haired gentleman across the bar says. “Last order, for a Red Bull driver.”

Dilara grins and blushes, letting Chris take the lead and order while she takes a couple of selfies with the owner and a few of the staff members. “Oh, do you think we should take food for your housemates?” Chris asks suddenly.

“Oh.” It hadn’t occurred to her but now that Chris says it, she knows they should. Annoyingly enough, they would do the same for her. Have done the same for her, she remembers.

“Um, maybe. Let me check.” She pulls out her phone to text Seokjin, since she knows it’s either he or Yoongi who will give her the straightest answer. As she shifts from one foot to another, trying to word the perfect text, Chris just sighs in impatience and snatches the phone from her.

To her horror, he straight up calls him. “Hyung? It’s Chanyeol,” he begins, followed by an intense sounding discussion in Korean. If she has to guess, Jin is asking the others for their opinions and by the way Chris is rattling off an order to the owner, she knows they’re taking it incredibly seriously, as expected.

Midway during the call, Chris sighs and turns to her. “Your boyfriend’s asking if he’s included as well because, quote, he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to get him anything.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” says Dilara forcefully, rolling her eyes at Taehyung’s dramatics, “and tell him he is included, but I’m happy to let him starve if he wants.”

Chris chortles and says something into the phone in Korean, and she hears Jin’s cackle in the background. Once the call is wrapped up, the food is packed, she’s taken at least ten pictures and tipped the pub a hundred euros, they run outside to Chris’s motorcycle just as a rumble of thunder booms through the sky.

They make it back to the house just as the rain starts and hurry inside to see Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin and Jungkook in the living room and kitchen area, already in tracks and hoodies, looking way warmer than she feels. The moment he sees them, Jungkook follows them to the kitchen like a puppy, diving for the food and inspecting it as soon as they set it down.

“Where are the others?” Dilara asks nonchalantly, reaching for a bottle of water as the older members file in at a more respectable pace.

“Namjoon’s talking to Kaya and Jin hyung’s probably taking a nap,” says Hoseok, giving Jungkook a disgusted look as he inhales a handful of fries. “And Taehyungie’s in the shower, I think.”

“Shouldn’t you go, too?” Chris asks.

Dilara chokes on her water. “Excuse me?”

He raises his eyebrows as Yoongi grins from where he’s sorting through the food. “I meant… shower. By yourself. Because your hair is wet?” He reminds her, fingering the ends of her ponytail. “You can’t afford to fall sick.”

Still recovering and trying not to picture Taehyung in the shower, joining him in the shower, or showering together, she mumbles something incoherent and bolts, cursing the weather for not being able to take a cold shower. By the time she’s out, feeling much warmer with freshly washed hair and dry, soft woollens, what seems like an army of Korean men are gathered in the kitchen, talking and laughing loudly.

Suddenly feeling very tiny and very female, she pads over gingerly and emerges quietly between Chris and Yoongi, reaching for a piece of pita bread and dipping it in hummus.

The conversation continues around her, half in Korean and half in English. She doesn’t quite join in, choosing to simply watch and sneak in bites of food, happy to let Chris socialize for both of them. At one point, Hoseok asks them if they want to watch a movie and when Chris looks at her expectantly, she hesitates, somewhat glad that even though he's talking to them, he'll ditch them if she asks him to.

She doesn't, though; Dilara shrugs and says "Sure", trying not to make it too awkward. Nodding, one by one everyone heads out with their plates piled high with food.

"Yeorobun, don't forget to thank Dilara and Chris," calls Seokjin, followed by a chorus of thank yous from the room.

"Thank you," a soft and deep voice echoes from next to her.

Startled, she almost drops the bottle of water she’s holding. Dilara looks up and nods slightly. "You're welcome," she murmurs to Taehyung, suddenly finding it hard to meet his gaze when he's standing this close to her. He smells overwhelmingly of his lotion and her immediate instinct is to want to bury her nose in the sleeve of his sweater and inhale until she passes out. She swallows and tries to distract herself by looking down at his sweater, frowning when she realises it looks familiar.

“Is that -” She catches herself just in time, trying to stop the automatic smile that she can feel creeping up on her face and turning away.

Next to her, she hears him quietly chuckle. “Yeah, it is,” he answers after a moment.

Stay strong, Dilara.

They stay there, side by side, hesitantly sharing an old memory for a moment until they’re broken out of it by Chris turning around and calling her name, warning her that the schnitzel will get over if she doesn’t come for it soon enough. Grateful for the interruption, she hurries away from the kitchen, ignoring how her heart flutters when her arm brushes Taehyung’s, and takes a seat on one of the side couches next to Jungkook.

In the middle couch, facing the TV, Chris sits with Hoseok and Namjoon to his left, Yoongi on an armchair in the corner, and on the other side couch directly opposite her, Taehyung walks up to sit between Seokjin and Jimin, a smile still lingering on his face.

It goes back to one of their Zoom calls in December, just after Christmas. It was nothing special; he’d been wearing this sweater, a fluffy white one with brown, red and yellow stripes, looking festive yet casual. Dilara had commented on it, only for him to reply a bit haughtily that it was Gucci, that she needed to have some respect.

He’d been completely straight-faced as he’d said it, and when he’d brought Yeontan onto his lap, she’d burst out laughing when she’d realised his dog got completely camouflaged in front of the sweater. The rest of the call had just been her teasing him mercilessly about the sweater until he, in a fit of annoyance, announced he was going to bed.

Dilara had apologised all night on text but hadn’t been able to resist squeezing in a joke or two more, to which he’d suddenly responded with a Careful, Lara. The tone had suddenly changed and she’d frowned, heart beating slightly faster, and asked him what for.

He’d proceeded to list down all the things he knew he could do to her, before calling her on video and commanding her to finger myself, refusing her orgasm until she’d whimpered an apology and felt it crash down on her the next second. He’d watched her finish with half-lidded eyes, breathing heavily himself and it was only then that she realised that he’d been touching himself, too. Not taking his eyes off her possibly fucked out expression, he’d pushed the camera back slightly so she could watch him spill over his own fingers with a loud, throaty grunt.

It was one of the hottest experiences of her life, especially given how physically far apart they were then. Ironically, when she was falling asleep later after a sweet, affectionate goodnight from him, she’d been relieved that they were clearly able to keep their sex life somewhat active even if they weren’t together. Now, when she sneaks another glance at him, she sees him looking right at her with that same nostalgic expression, biting his lip.

The others are discussing what movie to watch, switching to English. Hoseok immediately suggests an English movie since Dilara is present and everyone else agrees even as she shakes her head, but Chris, ever her extroverted saviour, speaks up.

“Oh, we can watch a Korean movie,” he says, almost like it’s obvious. “I’m teaching her. Although she should stick to driving, though,” he quips.

The boys burst into laughter and she feels her cheeks get hot, still grateful at his attempts to keep the mood light. Taking care to avoid their eyes, she shakes her head at Chris who simply grins at her. “Korean is fine,” she finally agrees, giving him a look. “I can read subtitles.”

A discussion begins on which movie, with everyone including Chris pitching in. Across from her, Taehyung and Jimin are talking to each other with Jungkook beside her pitching in. All the talk is in Korean but she’s just focused on Taehyung laughing, his boxy smile and bashful expression as Jin makes some kind of comment, and suddenly feels the urge to cuddle with him. She knows it’s ridiculous, but she allows herself the fantasy for a moment: the fluffy sweater, his warm hands, the long blond hair tickling her cheek, his deep voice snickering in her ear.

It’s pointless, though, she reminds herself as she tears her eyes away from him. It’s not going to happen and it shouldn’t either. Maybe it’s the sweater. Maybe once he takes it off and goes back to his regular joggers and t-shirts and shorts and jeans and coats, he’ll… well, he’ll still look fantastic but hopefully, her cuddling urges won’t resurface.

The sound of her name brings Dilara out of her reverie. “Dilara hates horror movies,” declares Chris, turning to her. “We should definitely watch one.”

She flips him off while some of the guys snicker. “I don’t hate them,” she says defensively, pulling her hoodie tighter around her shoulders. “I watch them all the time, I just… think they’re a bit thin on plot, that’s all.”

Chris snorts. “In all the time that I’ve known you, you’ve never watched a horror movie unless you’ve been massively outvoted,” he points out, annoyingly correct. “That’s two - no, three years, Komyshan.”

“You’ve known each other only three years?” Hoseok asks, frowning in surprise. “You act like you’ve known each other forever.”

“I’m her best friend,” states Chris, shrugging. There’s something strange about the way he says it; he doesn't say she's my best friend, the way someone normally would. He's establishing his place in her life, as though he’s reminding everyone… or one person, if the way his eyes flicker to Taehyung is any indication.

“After Lexie, of course,” she pipes up, sarcastically blowing him a kiss when he narrows his eyes at her.

“How did you two meet?” Jungkook asks.

“Technically?” Chris dusts his hands on his jeans and cocks his head over to me. “I hit on her at a pub in London and she said no. The next day, Lexie brought her to my studio.”

“Seriously, what are the odds?” Dilara mutters, still mortified at the memory. “And you didn’t hit on me, you offered to buy me a drink. And I said no because I was scheduled on the SIM the next morning.”

“You hit on her?” Jin gives her an appraising look, apparently ignoring her caveat entirely. “You really have a thing for Korean guys, huh?” When Namjoon rolls his eyes and nudges him, he widens his eyes. “No, not in a bad way! Just… I mean, that’s two guys in this room who’ve hit on you, no?”

Dilara tentatively glances at Taehyung, hugely relieved for some reason to see him fighting a hint of a smile before catching her eye. His gaze, presumably at remembering how and when he hit on me, is too intense and she has to look away to the member on his left. “Three if you count Jimin,” she quips, raising an eyebrow challengingly.

Jimin guffaws, two pink spots appearing on his cheeks. “No, no, it’s not the same,” he denies vigorously, throwing an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and being, in Dilara’s opinion, transparent as fuck.

“Well, you’ve certainly hooked up with two people in this room,” says Chris nonchalantly.

It takes her a moment to register what he’s said. “That was during spin the bottle,” she says quickly, glaring at Chris, “and it doesn’t count. Or Lexie would’ve killed me,” she adds deliberately.

Chris shrugs, apparently conceding, but the damage is done. Dilara’s eyes dart towards Taehyung. All hints of smiles have left his face and he's staring at Chris. All of a sudden, he looks at her, expression unreadable, before poking his tongue through his cheek and looking down at his lap.

She’s extremely annoyed; at Chris for bringing it up, at Taehyung for having the nerve to have any kind of reaction, and herself for actually caring what her ex-boyfriend thinks.

Thankfully the conversation moves away from this hideously uncomfortable topic to something else, still half in Korean and half in English. Apparently they've finally decided on a movie because there's some verbal scuffle between Hoseok, Namjoon, Jin and Chris, while Yoongi dryly comments upon something.

Dilara tries not to notice how little the others are participating; it's an uncomfortable feeling of anticipation, like she’s waiting for something else to go wrong.

"Dilara, catch!" True to form, she just about sees Hoseok throwing something to her and she reflexively catches it, to a chorus of hoots from around the room.

"Daebak," says Jungkook from next to her, looking at me in awe.

She grins. "Thanks."

"Uh-uh," pipes up Chris, and she knows right before he speaks what this is about, "In Korean, please."

She rolls her eyes at his stern tone. "Not now, Chris."

"Oh, come on, that's how you practice," he says easily, leaning over the arm of the couch and nudging her elbow. "Come on, try it."

"I'm not going to speak Korean right now," she mutters, feeling her face heat up.

"Who better to speak it in front of?" He spreads his arms and gestures to the room.

"I've actually never heard you speak Korean," says Jimin, looking interested. "Except that one time in Yeongam."

Dilara doesn't respond, mostly because she’s just realised that most of the Korean she ever spoke around the group, she spoke around Taehyung only, given how conscious she’s always been. Her eyes meet his again for a moment and she sees him frown slightly before she looks away.

Meanwhile, Chris is still on his mission to make her embarrass herself in front of everyone. "Go on, come on, you need to practice…"

"Not gonna happen."

"Just once, Komyshan, come on," he keeps going, being unusually persistent.

Dilara frowns. "Chris, let it go," she hisses, starting to feel hassled.

"Dude, just one -"

"She said no."

Everyone's eyes, including Dilara’s, immediately snap to Taehyung, who's looking at Chris with a hardened jaw and steely gaze. For a moment, she acknowledges how all thoughts of cuddling him are out the window, but then she turns to look at Chris with a mixture of slight apology and mostly exasperation, like he'd asked for it.

Chris pauses, observing Taehyung, as though he hadn't quite realised how aggressive he was being. Then he turns to her slowly and the amusement in his eyes gives her a Very Bad Feeling. "Sorry, Lara," he says clearly, almost taunting.

Dilara wants to throw something at him; it's never been explicitly stated, but no one calls her Lara, no one apart from Taehyung. They may not be together anymore and she may have forbidden him from calling her that… but hearing someone else use that endearment makes her want to throw up.

She notices a movement from the corner of her eye and shifts slightly to see Jimin tugging on Taehyung's sleeve, as though to prevent him from moving from where he's seated. He doesn't look at her and for once, she wishes he would.

Someone clears his throat and Dilara looks up to see Yoongi looking between Chris and Taehyung with a slightly raised eyebrow. "Um… what movie did we decide on finally?"

Hoseok seems to snap out of it as well, immediately naming some movie and thankfully, the tension is broken. She rolls her eyes at Chris and looks away, determined to chew him out later for this. From the glimpse she caught of his face, he doesn't look apologetic or abashed at all. If anything, although his smirk has disappeared, he looks satisfied at the reaction he's gotten - from Taehyung.

There's some more chatter, more hesitant than before and mostly led by Hoseok and Seokjin. It's a mix of English and Korean again and finally, the movie begins.

"Do we have popcorn?" Jimin asks suddenly, turning to look towards the kitchen as though expecting a bowl to fly over to him.

"There's some in one of the cabinets, I think," she answers, glad to be talking to anyone but Chris or Taehyung. "I can make it in the microwave if you want," she offers, already standing up.

"No, no, you can't miss the beginning of the movie," says Jungkook, tugging on her sleeve and grinning up at her. "It's scary, but not that scary."

Dilara mock-glares at him and moves to flick him on the forehead while Chris frowns. "You hate popcorn," he states.

"I don't hate it," she points out lightly, "and it'll only take a minute."

"You need the subtitles more than anyone else, though."

"I'm sure one minute won't make a huge difference," she argues through gritted teeth, wondering what his problem is.

"You know, she can make her own decisions," comes Taehyung's voice from the other side, loudly.

Not again, she wants to groan, and flops back down on the couch, shrugging at Jimin silently as if to say I tried. He grimaces and nods, just as Chris responds.

"I know. I also know that she hates not knowing what's going on in a movie and then keeps talking through it," he states, ignoring her when she makes a noise of disbelief at him.

"So let her," snaps Taehyung, and Dilara knows it's because he's taken it at least a little personally, since talking through movies is something he does, too; something they used to do together, commenting on everything from dialogue to scenery to costumes.

"What? It doesn't annoy you?" Chris asks, raising his eyebrows, as though daring him to admit it.

"It doesn't. Like I said, she can make her own decisions."

Chris bites his lip for a moment, as though reconsidering his response, before apparently deciding to do so. To Dilara’s horror, keeping a steely gaze on Taehyung, he replies in Korean. She doesn't understand it, obviously, but she notices everyone frown slightly, like they're not quite sure what he's said. Namjoon is the first to close his eyes and deflate slightly, like he's internally sighing, and she has an inkling of what Chris is at least referring to.

Across the room, Taehyung looks like a statue as he glares at Chris. He asks something, tone abrupt, to which Chris shrugs and responds. It carries on like this, a conversation in Korean between Dilara’s ex-boyfriend and one of her best friends, a loaded and precarious conversation where neither of them seemingly wants to cross the line from riffing to arguing, but still seem seconds away from whipping out their dicks.

She only manages to catch a few words here and there, including her name a couple of times, but other than that, she’s lost. It’s extremely frustrating, this handicap, being the only one unable to understand a conversation of which she is the subject, especially when she notices the expressions of the other spectators, becoming more and more still, as though expecting something - or someone - to explode.

Dilara looks at Taehyung, silently willing him to stop… although she supposes she should want Chris to be the one to stop it just as much. She hadn't seen this coming; she knows Taehyung has a tendency to get territorial and she’s not dense enough to not notice how he feels about her, much as she might try to ignore it.

She also knows that Chris is a good friend, one of the best, but has a tendency to be a complete jerk if he puts his mind to it. He can be insensitive and direct and say just the right thing to get under her skin; usually he does it to get her to face her anxiety, using tough love in a way that only he can make work. It doesn’t now, though. For a moment, her mind goes to Lexie and his conviction that he wouldn't be good for her. At this moment, Dilara agrees with him.

Her heart is racing now, the anxiety at not knowing what the fuck is going on eating away at her. She swallows, willing Taehyung to at least look at her. He doesn't, though; his attention is solely focused on Chris, even when he haughtily looks away as though the conversation isn't worth his time.

Suddenly, Taehyung’s eyes snap to her and she almost flinches, not expecting it. His eyes flicker with emotion and he swallows, and it looks like he wants to say something. Even though he’s notoriously hard to read, right now the regret and guilt in his face is obvious as day, at least to her. She doesn’t know what Chris said to get this reaction out of him, but she finds she doesn’t really care at this moment. She just wants to reach for him.

However, before Dilara can structure any further coherent thoughts, Taehyung’s gaze falls and he murmurs something. She doesn’t understand it, but it’s clear that it’s a closure to the conversation, especially when Namjoon clears his throat and points to the TV, apparently not realising he’s speaking in Korean.

As the movie resumes, she looks over at Chris to see him staring at Taehyung, all traces of humour and playfulness gone. It’s not anger, exactly… it’s the face he gives her every time she’s on the verge of giving up in the gym or every time she starts talking herself down before a race.

There are no more interruptions for the rest of the night. Dilara can’t believe how angry she is at both of them for this, especially when they started talking about her like she wasn’t even there. Chris started it, Taehyung enabled it and now, she just wants to be away from both of them.

Dilara tries to concentrate on the movie, whispering only once in a while to Jungkook beside her when the subtitles move too fast or there’s a reference she doesn’t get, nodding when he answers immediately. For once, she’s glad he hasn’t ever tried to broach this topic with her. She ends up resting her head on his shoulder as they watch, but still only half-concentrating.

She can’t get Taehyung’s face out of her mind. She remembers all the times she’s talked to him since they got here: in Spa, Monza, Imola, even last week in Germany, not to mention his many attempts at trying to talk to her before she told him categorically to leave her alone. She’d seen him in various states of guilt and devastation, but right now he looked… resigned. Fear grips at her heart when she thinks about it, but she can’t immediately figure out why.

She has to know what they were talking about. She has to. She pulls out her phone and contemplates texting Chris, but she’s too angry to talk to him right now. Who else? Namjoon? She’s opened up to him enough before. Jimin? No, he looks far too uncomfortable. Yoongi? They’ve recently connected a bit and she at least has faith that he’ll be as direct as possible.

Shaking her head, Dilara finally texts the one person she actually wants to talk to right now.

What did he say to you?

She watches Taehyung as he glances at his phone, how he stares at the screen with his thumbs hovering over it, how he doesn’t so much as look up at her even once. After almost a minute, he types out a reply.

Nothing I don’t already know.

—

An hour and a half later, Dilara enters her room with Chris right behind her. Taking off her hoodie and throwing it to the desk with more force than she intended, she turns to face him. “What the hell was that?”

“A very average movie,” he says casually, taking off his own jacket and throwing it on top of hers.

“Don’t fuck with me, Park.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Oh, are you talking about the heart to heart I had with your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she says through gritted teeth, “and whatever that was, it definitely wasn’t a heart to heart.”

“You don’t need to worry about it,” he says dismissively, walking past her towards the bathroom.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me. Chris!”

He turns on the light and looks back at her for a moment. “Should’ve paid more attention when I tried to teach you Korean, Lara.”

“Suck my dick, Park.”

Chris gives her a hollow smirk before turning and shutting the door behind him.

Dilara could hit him. She really could. It’s almost as though he’s enjoying getting a rise out of her, just like he’d taunted Taehyung with whatever he’d said that made him look like he was about to cry.

Nothing I don’t already know… She hasn’t the faintest what it means. She’s not even sure she wants to find out. Outside, a rumble of thunder crashes and she exhales in frustration when she realises that tomorrow might just be a wet Qualifying.

Chris was meant to go back to his hotel tonight, returning the rented motorcycle to the staff and checking out first thing in the morning before flying back to London. But the rain had started lashing down towards the end of the movie and by the time it was done, the visibility was so bad that they couldn’t even see his bike parked in the front yard.

Naturally, he was staying with Dilara, no matter how pissed off she was. When everyone had stood up to head inside, he’d half-smirked and asked how comfortable the couch was. Too annoyed to speak to him and just done with the excessive testosterone, she’d simply bit back a retort and pulled him into her room by the hand.

Now, Chris comes out of the bathroom and starts unbuttoning his jeans, changing into a pair of sweatpants lent to him by Namjoon, the only member as tall as him. Dilara stares at him, not backing down. Finally, he huffs. “Okay, what?”

Her eyes widen. “What do you mean what? How about we start with why you were so rude?”

“Rude to who? Your ex?” he questions immediately. “Do you really care about his feelings now?”

“I - I meant… to everyone. We were trying to watch a movie and you made it into some fucking drama about two people and their stupid love life.”

“We’d watched literally two minutes of the movie till then. Also,” he continues, “I’m pretty sure I did everyone a favour because that movie sucked.”

“Damn it, Chris!” she exclaims. “It was so embarrassing!”

“Look, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, alright? But let’s be real. If this was Lexie here instead of me and she blew up at him while defending you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Glaring at her, he rips the covers off the bed with force.

Dilara swallows, not expecting the conversation to take this turn. “That’s not - that’s not true. If she’d said… she doesn’t even speak -”

“Does he have any idea what you were like during those weeks after you broke up?” he interrupts. “How he broke you? Do you even remember what you were like then?”

She feels a lump forming in her throat. “Yeah, I think I have a pretty good fucking idea how I was, Chris.”

“Good. Because you were a wreck, Dilara,” he states, but it doesn’t sound insulting. He’s trying to remind her. “Does he know you were on the verge of tears for weeks? That we literally didn’t see you smile for nearly a month? How you overdid it in the gym, how you skipped every boxing session we planned, how your anxiety doubled every time you got in the car because you’d fucked up Melbourne - because of him? Does he know,” he continues, and his voice cracks just a little, “how he shattered your confidence at the bloody start of a season?”

The only sound is from the rain outside.

“Please tell me you didn’t tell him all that,” she says quietly, her voice hoarse and unsteady.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?” Chris looks just a little disappointed. “I’m your friend. You think I wanted to see you like that? You think any of us did? Why shouldn’t he know?”

She opens her mouth to argue but nothing comes out. She remembers, despite herself, how alone she’d felt here, how ganged up on she’d felt when all six of them stuck up for Taehyung after the VMAs, how all six of them lied to her this spring, and how all six of them have systematically broken down the wall she built this year to the point where she’s fighting with Chris because he made her ex, the man who broke her heart, feel bad.

When Dilara doesn’t say anything, Chris rolls his eyes and holds his hands up, like he’s giving up. “Whatever. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow morning.”

She sighs, watching him turn around and head to the mirror, checking out his hair. “Come on, don’t act like I’m trying to get rid of you,” she tells him in a small voice, feeling distinctly ungrateful all of a sudden. “This is the happiest I’ve been since August. And only part of it has to do with the schnitzel.”

He gives a half-hearted chuckle but doesn’t reply.

“Thank you,” she says after a moment, “for standing up for me. In your own weird, fucked up way. It’s a very best friend thing to do.”

“You’re welcome.” He finally turns and heads straight for the bed, tucking himself in. “Don’t let Lexie hear you say that, though.”

“She’ll deal.” They look at each other for a moment, silently apprising the other. “I just… don’t like conflict. You know that.”

“I do. Doesn’t matter to me.” He shrugs. “You know we’ll always stick up for you. Just like we did with that creepy journalist at Sky.”

Shuddering at the memory, she gets into bed as well. “Jerk. Still,” she adds, nudging his shoulder, “a very best friend thing to do.”

“Go to sleep, Komyshan. You have a race tomorrow.”

Smiling to herself, she turns to her side, facing away from him and closing her eyes. It’s a few more minutes before one of them speaks.

“I hooked up with Maria from Mercedes.”

Dilara’s eyes snap open and she frowns Maria from Mercedes… “Social media manager, skinny jeans, always had the hots for you, Maria?” She can tell from his silence that she’s right. “What… when?”

“In Bahrain. Right after we got back from Australia.”

By we he means him and Lexie and by Bahrain he means… about a week after Dilara saw the article about Taehyung and Jennie. She swallows, shocked into silence.

“Lexie knows,” he says, answering her silent question. “She… she caught us, actually.” He sighs shakily. “Australia was… it was too much. I was getting in too deep and it freaked me out and I - I really fucked up.”

Dilara doesn’t know whether to be furious or have sympathy for him. “Did it help?” she asks after a moment.

There’s a long pause before he speaks again, voice smaller than ever. “No. So, believe it or not… I can relate to Taehyung better than you think. He should know what he did to you.”

She bites her lip, not knowing which is worse: having to remember what he really did to her, remembering his face earlier this evening, thinking about what Lexie was going through when she found out, how she didn’t tell Dilara because she obviously didn’t want to burden her… or Chris, sounding more vulnerable than she’s ever known him to be.

“It’s killing him, Komyshan,” he says quietly, so soft that she can barely hear him over the rain. She doesn't know if he’s talking about Taehyung or himself. “Knowing what he did and not knowing how to make it right? It’s killing him.”

---

Dilara wakes up the next morning to an apologetic looking sun streaming in from the window. A small, hopeful smile makes its way onto her face. Dry race. She turns to see the other side of the bed empty, frowning when she realises Chris must have left already. She reaches for her phone to see a text from him.

Leaving now. Tried to wake you up but you almost punched me in the face. Good luck for today and DO NOT let Ricciardo psych you out about anything.

She rolls her eyes, certain he must be exaggerating. The time stamp on the message is from a minute ago, though; frowning, she gets out of bed, hoping she can catch him before he leaves. When she reaches her bedroom door, however, she hears voices. Two voices; she opens the door slightly, quietly, breath catching in her throat when she hears Taehyung and Chris.

They’re speaking in Korean, so naturally she can’t understand a word. They’re also talking softly, sounding much more amiable than last night. Hesitating, she opens the door slightly wider and peers out. From her bedroom in the hallway, she can see just the edge of the kitchen island.

She spots Chris leaning against it, facing in her direction, dressed comfortably in all black with his sunglasses tucked down the front of his t-shirt. There’s a white ceramic bowl with a spoon in it in front of him. His face looks serious, nothing like the troublemaking jerk last night.

Dilara can hear Taehyung, his voice low and deep, sounding almost tired. There’s some clinking; she pictures him making his way through the kitchen, looking for cereal or something. The fridge opens and closes, and then she sees him come slightly into view, wearing his printed Ralph Lauren pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt on top. His messy blond hair brushes the back of his t-shirt, falling into his eyes when he turns his head slightly.

She doesn’t know what they’re talking about and she doesn’t want to. It’s Qualifying day; she can’t focus on this. She shuts the door and heads into the bathroom, getting ready for the day. She wishes Chris was staying today; it always helps to have someone cheer you on and talk you up while you stretch before a race. In an incredibly sweet gesture, Hoseok had offered earlier this week to accompany her if she wanted, but Namjoon had immediately yet apologetically reminded him that he couldn’t just hang out with her that publicly - and definitely not in her changing room.

Dilara waits to hear the front door open and close, followed by another door opening and closing, meaning Taehyung has departed to his room as well. She emerges then, heading to the empty kitchen and trying not to think about yesterday at all. She spots the jar of muesli stacked high up in a cabinet. Sighing, she tries to reach for it before preparing to hop onto the countertop. Just as she’s about to hoist herself up, a hand appears from behind her and brings down the jar.

She turns to see Taehyung appear on her other side, giving her a silent glance of acknowledgement before sorting through the bowl of fruit. Behind him, she sees the pantry door ajar. Slowly assembling her cereal, she wonders if it’s a good idea to reveal that she knows he and Chris talked this morning, or even that she knows what they argued about last night.

Their fingers brush lightly, so lightly that she thinks she may have imagined it. She lowers her head a bit so her hair falls down her shoulders, shielding her face from view.

There’s something oddly comforting about standing next to him. It’s confusing, because if anything, it should be worse after last night. She can’t put her finger on it exactly, but she knows it’s familiar, so incredibly familiar that it tugs at her heartstrings in a way that makes her want to crumble.

She’s felt this before, all the way since the beginning, since the weekend they met and she immediately trusted him with everything she had. When their shoulders brush, she feels him pause next to her.

“Did you sleep with him?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper.

A few weeks ago, Dilara wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes. She wouldn’t have cared how off base he was; she would’ve lied through her teeth as nonchalantly as possible before walking away from him, savagely enjoying how much he’d hate it.

But she can’t do that now. Try as she might, she can’t find that part of her that wants to hurt him that badly. Not when he’s taken the risk to ask her something like this, something he knows he has no right to ask, to get an answer he most likely doesn’t want. Not when he sounds like this, like he’s on the verge of giving up.

Dilara bites her lip, suddenly overcome with emotion for her ex. His face from last night haunts her, and his text sends a pang of pity through her heart. It’s killing him. It sounds like it, too. There’s no jealousy, no possessiveness to his question, only desperation tending towards resignation.

Despite Chris’s anger for her last night, she knows that if she lies to Taehyung right now, it’ll shatter him. She glances at where their hands are on the counter, a hair’s breadth away from touching. Hearing his unsteady breathing from next to her, she decides she’s punished him enough.

“No,” she answers quietly.

From the corner of her eye, she sees him nod once before turning to walk past her inside. Without thinking, she grabs his wrist to stop him. He halts and even though this wasn’t planned, she knows it’s absolutely what she wants to do right now.

She takes a step to her right so that she’s standing right in front of him, her heart beating so fast it hurts. She hesitates for a moment, reaching for the bottom of his white t-shirt, gripping the fabric between her fingertips. Then, with a sudden calm she wasn’t expecting, she reaches forward and wraps her arms around his waist, resting her forehead against his shoulder.

Taehyung freezes, like she suspected he would. But she stays there, moving forward slightly so their torsos press against each other, a small warmth in the dawn of an Austrian winter. She can hear his heart racing and she tightens her arms around him a bit, letting him know it’s not a mistake.

Slowly, he lifts his arms from his sides and brings them up to her back, touching her so gently as if she might break. It takes him a few more seconds to properly envelope her and when he does, it feels like a piece has fallen into place.

With his lean torso in her grasp, his steady arms around her, she knows it’s a result of last night, where It wasn’t just Chris who defended her against Taehyung, but Taehyung who defended her against Chris, too. He didn’t have to; it wasn’t even his place, but he did it anyway. As she feels him lower his head onto her shoulder and feel his cheek press against the side of her head, his arms tightening around her, she realises she feels safe.

Dilara presses her forehead into his broad shoulder and inhales slightly, tears springing to her eyes at the familiar scent of lotion. Taehyung turns his head slightly to bury his face in her neck, one hand firm around her back and the other cradling her head, fingertips soft in her hair. She thinks she feels him shake slightly and she hugs him tighter, opening her loose fists and letting her fingers and palms gently touch his back. He inhales shakily, long hair brushing the skin of her neck.

They break apart when someone enters the kitchen. Both of them are jerked out of it but they don’t jump away from each other, instead slowly separating one body part after another, no longer embarrassed in front of anyone else. With her shoulder still pressed against his chest, she turns to see Namjoon and Hoseok looking awkward and sheepish, muttering incoherently about coming back later and whatnot, but she knows the moment’s over. So she shakes her head and gives them an awkward wave, telling them she needs to be at the track anyway.

She doesn’t look at Taehyung again but as she leaves, she feels his hand drop from around her waist, where she didn’t even realise it was resting.

—

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#chingu #taehyung fic rec #taehyung #cath’s idolverse #cath <3

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