#childhood friends to lovers has me in a fucking chokehold

[autisticlancemcclain]

The first time Keith sees the boy is a brief flash of eye contact through the classroom door before he’d averted his eyes and looked away. Keith glances around the room to see if anyone else had noticed the boy, but he seems to be the only one, so he dismisses it. Probably just someone from another grade going to the washroom or something.

The second time he sees the boy is thirty-two minutes later, when he knocks on the door. Miss Dindial opens the door, ushering him in, and then asks him why he’s come to visit.

“To come to class,” he says simply, hooking his thumbs on his backpack straps. Keith thinks that it’s strange that he still has it on him, since they were a couple hours into the day already. First recess has even passed.

“I have all my students already,” Miss Dindial responds with a furrowed brow. “I think there might have been a mix up.”

“This is the fourth grade class, right?” the boy clarifies, brown eyes wide and a little nervous. “I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t find it earlier. That’s why I’m late.”

Keith thinks back to the way the boy had walked past the classroom earlier. He tries to remember the boy’s expression, but his mind comes up blank.

“It might be best if you just stay here until I get this sorted with the office,” Miss Dindial decided. “Until then, you can grab a seat — oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t get your name!”

“I’m Leandro Agustín Nuñez Carmen Esposita-McClain. But you can call me Lance.”

Ha. L-A-N-C-E. Keith has never met someone who’s name is an acronym before.

Miss Dindal blinks. Then she smiles, eyebrow raising. “Clever. Now go on ahead and sit down, Lance. You can put your bag by your chair. Right now we’re discussing class rules for this year — you haven’t missed much. Now —”

Keith stops listening, going back to staring out the window. Every so often, he glances three rows over to where the boy — Lance —has chosen to sit, watching him diligently writing on a piece of paper. Keith wonders if he’s really taking notes. He doesn’t know any other fourth graders who take notes. He wonders if Lance is one of those brainy, know-it-all teacher’s pets who tattles all the time.

Something tells him he isn’t.

Lance looks up, catching Keith staring. Keith flushes and looks away. He chances another peek, several minutes later, only to find Lance still looking at him. He smiles, wiggling his fingers in a little wave, then goes back to writing. Keith wonders what that means.

When the lunch recess bell finally rings, he scrambles out like everyone else. He looks for Lance on the playground, but doesn’t see him anywhere. He doesn’t see the boy for the rest of the day, actually.

———

The third time he sees the boy is on the bus the next day.

Keith is the first person on the bus, then a group of eighth-graders who pat him on the head before they go sit at the back. After them, usually, is Ethan from sixth grade. He’s a butthead who always starts fights when no one’s looking and then gets Keith in trouble for it later. Keith hates him. But instead of turning left on Ethan’s street, today, the bus turns right, onto an unpaved road leading to the more rural areas. Keith’s never been down there before.

The bus goes down the road for ten minutes before stopping at an old, run-down house, paint peeling around the edges. It’s the new boy — Lance — who waits at the curb, nervously picking at the ratty sleeve of his shirt. He boards the bus with his head down, mumbling a thanks to the driver before glancing up to find a seat.

When he makes eye contact with Keith, his whole face lights up. He waves excitedly, moving forward, put he pauses suddenly before he sits down, suddenly shy and unsure.

“Um. Hello. I’m in your class, my name’s —”

The bus lurches forward, sending Lance tumbling, right on top of Keith, squishing him into the window.

“Oof,” Keith exhales, but doesn’t shove Lance off of him. He’s not sure why. That would be his usual move.

“Sorry! Dios, I’m so sorry!” Lance squeaks, scrambling up. He kneels on the seat next to Keith, but doesn’t go to a different seat. This pleases Keith, for some reason.

“‘S’okay,” he assures. “You’re basically a feather, anyway.”

Lance giggles, some of the nervousness leaving his posture. Keith thinks that he’d like to make it all go away.

“I’m Lance,” he says sticking out his hand.

“I know,” Keith replies, shaking it.

Lance laughs again, and Keith finds himself grinning.

“I know you know, I saw you smile when I introduced myself yesterday. You have a nice smile. I just introduced myself again because I want to know your name.”

Keith’s ears turn red. Oh.

“Keith,” he blurts out. He’s not sure if he’s more embarrassed about the smile comment or the fact that he forgot to introduce himself, but Lance doesn’t seem to mind.

“That’s a cool name. I’ve never heard it before. Keith.” He puts a lot of emphasis on the ‘ee’ sound, cutting the ‘th’ short so it almost sounds like a ‘t’. Keith likes the way he says it.

“I moved from Cuba earlier this year —“ that explains the accent — “so everything here is kind of strange. English is a very weird language. Why are so many of the words the same? I do not understand it.”

“You don’t seem to have much trouble with it,” Keith observes.

“That’s because I’m smart,” Lance says, but it’s more of a statement of fact. The sky is often blue, the ocean is salty, Lance-from-Cuba is smart. Keith thinks his confidence is admirable. He wonders if public school will crush it to death.

He hopes not.

“Plus, Cuban schools start in August and end in May, so we moved here in May and I had more months to learn it. I was lonely, though.” Lance frowns. Keith wonders what he can do to make him smile again.”

“Why were you lonely?” he asks hesitantly.

“I left all my friends in Cuba, and all the other kids were in school all day, so I haven’t had the chance to make any friends yet. Except for you, of course.” Lance’s face gets unsure again, and he looks at Keith shyly. “If that’s okay with you.”

Keith nods frantically. He’s never had a friend before, and he likes Lance. He’d like to be his friend.

“Great!” Lance chirps, smiling his sunny smile again. Keith can’t help but smile back — it’s almost like Lance’s smiles are contagious. “I’ve never had a friend with a mullet before! I like it, though. You look cool.”

The two of them chat for the rest of the ride — well, mostly Lance. He’s a bit of a motormouth, but Keith doesn’t mind. It means he doesn’t have to talk as much. And Ethan doesn’t bother him when he sees Keith’s not alone, so that’s a bonus.

———

The fourth time he sees Lance is the next day. Lance sits with him, again, and they talk until school. They hang out a recess, too. Keith notices that although Lance never runs out of things to say to him, he’s kinda shy around everyone else. Quiet. Gets stressed if too many people are talking to him, and the screaming that’s a constant on the playground makes him wince. They take to playing make-believe on the field a distance away from the playground — they’re currently playing space defenders.

The next two days are the weekend, so Keith doesn’t see Lance at all. He stays at the group home he’s currently staying in, reading quietly in the tree in the backyard until his foster mother calls him in for bedtime

The fifth time he sees Lance is on Monday, and it’s not much different from Friday. Lance sits with him on the bus and talks his ear off until they get to school, and then they play together every recess. Lance even helps Keith during math, which he appreciates. He finds out Lance is very good with numbers. He has the multiplication table memorized up to fifteen, which Keith thinks is crazy, but Lance admits he can only do that because his dad makes him write them out every day after school.

The sixth time he sees Lance is the day after that, again, on the bus. This time, when Ethan boards after Lance, he doesn’t sneer at Keith and go to to the back with the other older kids. He seats in the seat directly behind them. Keith tenses immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Lance whispers.

“Nothing,” Keith replies tersely. He doesn’t know how to explain the situation to Lance, and besides, there’s not much Lance can do anyway.

Ethan, unfortunately, notices Keith’s tension, and laughs meanly. “Aw, Oliver Twist,” he mocks, “you didn’t think I forgot about you, didja? C’mon now, I’m not like your mommy. I won’t ditch ya. We have lots more time together, isn’t that right, Keith?”

Keith grits his teeth, pressing back the tears burning hotly at his eyes. He’s over the stupid Oliver Twist jokes – Ethan uses them so much they’re boring, now – but he’s embarrassed that he made them in front of Lance. In front of his new friend.

Through the blur of his watery eyes, Keith sees a small hand clench, feels Lance shift as he turns around the face the bully.

“Leave Keith alone,” he hisses.

“Ooooh, Keith!” Ethan laughs, “got your boyfriend protecting you now? Guess you really are a KoGAYne! Ha! Do your foster brothers know you’re a f—”

There’s the heavy thud noise of skin hitting skin, and the sickening sound of a bone crunching. Ethan screams, and the bus lurches to a stop. Keith whips around, eyes wide, only to find Lance glaring down at Ethan, knuckles split and red.

“My nose!” Ethan screams. “The little freak broke my nose!”

The bus driver storms down the aisle, demanding an explanation, and Ethan cries a made-up sob story about how he was just minding his business when the weirdo new kid came out of nowhere and decked him in the face ‘to show who’s boss around here’.

Keith snorts quietly. Yeah, right. Lance is no more a bully than fly to the moon — yesterday, he saw a worm dried up on the pavement and cried so hard Keith was worried he’d throw up. He’d insisted they have a funeral for it.

Regardless, the bus driver believes Ethan, and yanks Lance by the arm to the seat behind her. Keith stares after him with wide eyes, worried, but Lance shrugs and shoots him a wink.

Keith doesn’t see him for the rest of the school day, or the day after that.

———

The seventh time he sees Lance he is relieved. Lance strolls down the middle aisle of the bus, plopping down next to Keith. There are four Hello Kitty bandages on his left hand.

“What happened?” Keith whispers.

Lance grins. “I got suspended, and I’m grounded for two weeks, but that’s it.”

Keith stares at him, a little awed. “You got grounded? For me?”

“Of course!” Lance assures. “You’re my friend! I wasn’t gonna let that butthead say those mean things about you. You’re too cool for him, anyway.”

Keith stops counting after that.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

head in my hands im trying to come up w prinzhes headcanons but i literally cannot because prinz is like. a pink and less tragic and less headache-inducing version of tesilid.

they're both very gentlemanly, they both can fight, if someone is unfair to them they're more likely to smile and try to smooth it over than to fight back. if hestio is going to find prinz attractive then he'd have found tesilid attractive too, but if he isn't nursing a massive crush on tesilid by the time he meets prinz then it means that tesilid gave him so much blood pressure problems that they're no longer his type.

so anyway in conclusion teshes solos- wait what? how did this turn into teshes propaganda

[hoomanbeaning]

re-watching salaar because irl sucks ass but what's new YK but i lose my mind every fucking time i see childhood era of varadeva...the opening scene of my boys always has me in a chokehold 🥲"WHO DARED TO TOUCH YOU??!??" yassss let's goooo my possesive guard dog to his only king. idk man i love king x loya guard dog who is AN INSANE BEAST to anyone but his majesty ... ☝🏻🤓

like ahem...varadeva royalty!au when???!! it'll be such a great angst fest if varadha is having his own swayamvar kinda ceremony and he might be potentially engaged to aadhya and deva is DISTRAUGHT because let's just say he knows aadhya too. but likeeee varadha clocks in and thinks ohhhhh my knight/childhood best friend/more than brother but less than lover is of course in love with my politically chosen fiancée, i gotta step back from this engagement anyhow and make the lovers unite but deva is adamant to choose varadha's happiness (which he thinks is aradhya so he will not let varadha self sabotage), they're so dumb x dumber and now i'm making myself sad by thinking about how many potentially life-changing childhood moments we missed that made varadeva well VARADEVA!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ARI MY UTMOST BELOVED I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT EVERY SINGLE FIC ON THAT WIP LIST MADE ME GENUINELY GO INSANE BUT I’LL REFRAIN FROM ASKING ABOUT ALL OF THEM (but know that if i could . I WOULD) BUT . let me ask abt a few of them if you don’t mind hehehehe 🙂‍↕️🤭 OKAY SO.

be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)

- so you decided to give childhood friends to lovers uni au w a pining/jealousy trope (one of my all time favs btw) A HOZIER LYRIC AS THE TITLE??? ALMOST )SWEET MUSIC) WAHHHHHHH

consider the hairpin turn

- i like to think of myself as the biggest proponent and number one supporter of BFB!kenny……… like so much so that i literally think of it weekly…….. AND W THE SIKEN QUOTE TOO I’M GOING FERALLLLLLLLL

i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door

- another hozier lyric (FROM EDEN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS) and the fact that its TACTICIAN!KENJAKU??? YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG AND SEXY ARI…… him as a tactician is PERFECT i feel like he’s so maomao’s dad coded already (i love tacticians :3)

((also please know i’m also looking VERY lovingly at merguru, wolf!geto red riding hood au, and the naoya x reader fic… i love that siken quote so fucking much <3 ok ari i love you and your brain you’re consistently the most genius person on this site and i’m so sorry this got so long feel free to only answer what you want out of it hehe :3 I LOVE YOU I’M SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE 🙂‍↕️🩷)

- @gothsuguru <333 MWAH! tell the mice i said hello :3

KAIROOOOO MY ANGEL MY BABY!!!!! never ever apologize, i knewwww you were gonna ask about these and i’m SO excited to ramble :33c

THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS SEQUEL IS ENTIRELY FOR ARIKAIRO NATION BTWWWWW those two are our beloveds …… BUT YES THE HOZIER LYRICS. not that i’ve heard thaaat many hozier songs but :’3 that one is my favorite!!!!! and i thought those lyrics fit childhood friend!sugu so well …. because in this fic it’s his turn to be a little unsure and scared >:3 lots of jealousy and pining and being afraid that you’ll start dating some uni guy and forget all about him….. scared of ruining your friendship by confessing…….. but his heart won’t stop beating when you’re around and he doesn’t know how to control it :< hehehe….. they’re both so smitten and devoted, i can’t wait for you to read this one 🥹🥹 here’s a sneak peek for my baby of all time !!!!!!!

AND THEN THE BFB!KENNY FIC . another arikairo special ….. hehe i am SO excited for this one truly!!!!! i’m super super nervous too because it’s probably the fic i care most about 🥹 so i want it to be the best….. but the outline is hard…….. and i’m scared….. BUT I REALLY AM SO EXCITED bfb!kenny is our boyfriend always and forever . teasing little shit. AND OFCCC THE SIKEN QUOTE ‼️‼️ the whole fic (and especially the brothers’ dynamic) is super inspired by you are jeff :33 one of them wants to take you apart, the other wants to stitch you back together… hehe…

but yes … !!! this fic is . soooo dense when it comes to lore and dynamics and backstory and narrative .. 😭 it’s worse than merguru and that one is already kicking my ass so . yeah . it’ll take a while for me to finish but knowing you’ll be there to read it makes everything feel more worth it 🫂 I LOVE YOUUU!!!!

ANDDDD THEN FINALLY :3c tactician!kenny….. kit is actually the person who came up with this concept so it’s her brain you should be praising, this is genuinely …. theeee most genius concept ever and it has me in a chokehold :’))) IT’S SO TASTY . he is theee slimiest most manipulative tactician Of All Time and i adore him for it …………. this fic fits into one of my fav dynamics ever, which is just. kind, benevolent ruler and their slimy right hand man 💀 bonus points if they are wholly devoted to each other which is basically the case here …. kenjaku might be detached and might be using reader but they’re also ferociously territorial over them . kit mentioned how kenjaku would behead people for calling his king weak and that’s just SO ?????? TASTY??????? in AWE of her brain always and forever .

ahh and the hozier lyrics !!!!!! i wasn’t actually sure what to title this fic so i was looking through lyrics of songs i enjoy ….. and the ones from from eden are all very monarch!reader/tactician!kenny coded :3c but i like the one with the slithering the most because kenny is truly soooo snake coded in this .

BUT YES !!!!! wahhhh i ended up rambling a lot but i hope this was coherent, thank you for asking about them my angel 🥺 you’re always so sweet and enthusiastic and ily . SOOOOO excited to dig my teeth into all your wips too :3333 mwah !!!!!

ask me about my wips !! <33

[soup-of-the-daisies]

What are your favorite harry ships??

I am SO glad you asked. Harry is my fandom bicycle and the reason I count myself as a multi-shipper.

In general, I like my Harry-ships to be relatively ‘equal’, if that makes sense. Harry or the other character should be capable of holding their own; big power differences are not my cup of tea (though they can be intriguing and, dare I say it, hot). They can kick each other’s arses, is what I mean by that.

I also don’t mind a male Harry, female Harry, or NB Harry. I like ‘em all, just for clarification.

For the basics: both Drarry and Harmione are near and dear to my heart. Rivals-to-lovers and friends-to-lovers, my beloved. These ships feel comfortable and familiar, and they’re usually my go-to for post-canon fluff or hurt/comfort. (I also like Dramione and Romione btw. I know that’s not what you asked about but I’m just putting it out there.)

I’m also known to have indulged in Ronarry and Sirry (Sirius/Harry) on occasion. And with smaller characters: Harry/Theo Nott, Harry/Blaise Zabini, Harry/Daphne Greengrass, Harry/Viktor Krum, Harry/Cedric Diggory… yeah. Harry/Cho and Hinny are fine, but not ones I’d purposefully seek out. In time travel AUs, I genuinely, really like Harry/Orion Black—possibly because it reminds me of Prongsfoot.

Most importantly: my absolute favourite at the moment is Tomarry/Harrymort. I don’t know why—it just appeals to me. Harry’s my boy, and I actually quite like Voldemort’s character as a fully-rounded villain or annoying, emotionally constipated teenager. Christian Coulson as Tom Riddle had me (like many others) in a chokehold when I was little so Diary!Tom is Voldy-version I absolutely adore, but Silver Fox!Voldemort and Snakeymort I love as well. And again, this is as long as the power dynamics aren’t too fucked up (purely for my personal taste): other aspects can be Morally Wrong or Really Fucked Up and I’ll lick the plate clean lmao. I like it when Voldemort becomes ‘better’, I like it when Harry becomes ‘worse’… cleansing or corruption, both are good.

It’s something something soulmates, I suppose!! Their inherent connection, their similarities. Harry has the potential (!!!) to become an ‘equal’ in power to Voldemort eventually (provided he trains and studies) (the detail that Voldemort canonically has more magical power is why a lot of fix-it fics add that Harry had a ‘binding’ on his ‘magical core’ which limits the power he can put into something; either to prevent the horcrux from holding on too tightly or to make him easier to kill). Harry has, canonically, power over Voldemort in the way that he’s part of Voldemort. Their wand cores match as much as they can possibly match (feathers given by the same phoenix at the same time). Voldemort accidentally damned Harry to have a similar childhood as he did. They both see Hogwarts as their first home; they’re both half-bloods; they both didn’t feel like they truly belonged in both the muggle and magical world, though for varying reasons. Harry can understand Voldemort on a level that lies the latter bare and open, which is not something that Voldemort would ever want or appreciate. And the dichotomy between core parts of their personalities — Harry’s kindness, Voldemort’s cruelty — is delicious.

[grapecaseschoices]

I discovered so many cool ifs thanks to your blog. I must say your taste in characters and stories is exquisite. Do you have a certain type of favourite ROs as in are there some romance tropes that you always go for? I'm a sucker for the emotionally unavailable ROs, so Orion and August have me in a chokehold rn. I'm honestly having so much infamous brainrot after reading that amazing demo. Do you prefer gender-selectable or gender-locked ROs? I personally don't mind either way as long as they're well written and portrayed. And you're so right we need more NB/Trans ROs for sure! Specially more that are POCs! <3

Oh, anon you don't know how much this makes me SMILE! Not so much about my tastes (though I'm smiling on that too, you flatterer :-P) but because of the IFs. I think Interactive Fiction is such a delightful medium with SUCH potential, and I love trying to stuff it into more people's faces.

Oh, man. I've actually been thinking of this -- because I once semi-jokingly said/had the thought that I always go for the characters of color [that's not TRUE, but I feel like I'm more inclined to give them a chance regardless of trope as long as I find the character intriguing enough] because I want to make sure they get love. So, I feel like I haven't really been looking at games/stories through tropes of late -- because IFs haven't yet reach a place where I'm afforded that? I don't know if I'm making sense.

BUT this question definitely took me back, lmao. And it is going to expose why TWC will always be on my neck, as well as that I am a LITTLE bit of a liar (because thinking on this made me realize though I may try and be broad with my interests to support characters of color, my subconious is a clown and likes what it likes werew lmao).

TL;DR I do love the stoic ones. I do love the ones that seem indifferent and/or cold or just So Serious and Don't Have Time For Your Tomfoolery but also have a sense of humor, a sense of justice/loyalty, and can get super soft/flustered for MC (but not just mc but their loved ones:

A du Mortain 🤡

Orion Quinn (Orion chuckling at Rowan's jokes privately? I knew he was the one for me BUT THAT SOLIDIFIED IT. I AM GONE FOR HIM)

August Pierce (letting themselves be suckered into things by their sister, being flustered by MC in a romance??)

Calderon (Andromeda Six)

Elliot (OFNA) - though I haven't gotten far in ofna.

D (atoc)

I love the soft and bright ones. Sometimes they're sarcastic (but to a point. There's a reason why I love the Scott McCalls more than the Stiles Stilinkis), they're mischevious. They don't need to have a dark past but I'm not against it. They're still KIND despite all they've gone through. Their hearts are just so BIG. And if you throw in a bit of friends to lovers? I'M THERE.

F Hauville.

Bash (a6)

I think Victoria might fit here, but more of a hardened shell version (which I wanted to add I feel this type has a lot of subcategories that I also enjoy). A more defiant version, a version who is less impulsive, more in control? idk what im saying. Which I'd also put Ayame from A6 here.

Skye Cortéz from Skin and Scales.

I feel Kiran from Unseelie will fit this.

Those are clear off the top of my head but there are other ones I like. I love characters that have poise but also are cunning (I think A from ATOC would fit here if you need an example; Sabir from the Exile, Straasa from TSSW, Leonie from Reaper's Bay .... that theyre all black is a coincidence -- one I JUST realized wqere lmao), I love childhood friends to lovers as I stated, I love enemies to reluctant allies to friends to lovers, I love second chance romances (or reunited friends that turn to romance). I'm blanking at personalties, right now. I'm sorry.

Oh, negl. Sometimes I go for the 'fuck everyone but you' Villain. I like it when the powerful "bad" guy (gn) is obssessed with MC. Like, not an RO but for an example Falk. Or an actual RO Manerkol from The Soul Stone Wars. Krios from Dying Stars.

Sometimes, but not always, I go for the hopelessly devoted and utterly loyal to MC bodyguard sort like Kai from Reaper's Bay. Devoted and protective does usually get my pitter patter - like John from Made Marian, but like I said not always. Especially if OVERPROTECTIVENESS can be a point of discussion between the pair (ie mc and the ro).

There are other stuff but i am blanking right now.

As for gender, I don't care generally -- but I do tend to shy away if there isn't an NB option when they're gender selectable, and if there isn't I want at LEAST ONE NB ro (more than one) that isn't gender selectable. I like it better tho when it's all gender selectable or like two are gender selectable and the rest are set genders but evenly so.

and yes that SPECIFICNESS -- you make a point I hadn't even thought of: DEFINITELY need more trans/nb options, PERIOD, but please writers and artists should consider having them of color as well!!

[undeniablyares]

This was a fun little post that was going on around Twitter that I wanted to share here for those that follow me here. ✨

1. Accidentally Demonic. It is hands down my favorite fic of mine to read and write, and I only have 3 chapters out currently. Just based on the overall tone, what I've done so far, and what's to come based on my chapter maps/planning, I think it will be one of my best works ever. Y'all are really in for it.

2. Accidentally an Oiran is my most popular fic. The sheer amount of support, engagement, and interest will forever be mind-boggling to me. It was my first long fic, my first Akaren story I started, it brought me out of my shell and introduced me to all you amazing people within the KNY fandom. It will always hold a special place in my heart, and I'm forever grateful for all of you that enjoy it. 🔥❄️

3. Breathe. It's weird, sad af, and wildly out of character, but I think we need more Senjuro-centered fics. I adore character studies, and a badass, dark version of Senjuro is just so fucking cool. I also think it's the most mature thing I've written as I try to characterize a tough, clever, slayer Senjuro who is fueled by grief and spite. I'm dying to get back to it so I can keep the plot going.

4. I am such a sap for the childhood friends to lovers trope in romance/erotica. I'm also into that weird, one-sided pining where the other is an idiot and doesn't realize their friend has always been in love with them until much later, then falls for the friend and it becomes mutual pining until one nuts up and finally confesses. Confusing slow burns have me in a chokehold. 😅🥲

5. Soulmates alternate universes are probably my least favorite trope to read or write. This likely stems from my own spiritual beliefs and ideas about the universe, more than anything else. Not bashing the idea at all, as it's adorably romantic, it's just not my favorite. Reincarnation alternate universe ideas are different, though. I'll fuck with a reincarnation au anytime. 😅

6. I have a longer fic idea that I want to do with either a slayer Akaza or Hakuji and Pillar Kyo, where Kyo gets turned into a demon at the beginning and Akaza/Hakuji has to fight to try and find a cure for him, or like a Tokyo Ghoul sort of scenario that rewrites Mugen Train to have Kyo survive from a makeshift transfusion of Akaza's blood and becoming a half-demon from it. (I really love demon Kyo ideas 🫣)

7. Accidentally an Oiran is my longest fanfic currently, but not my longest work ever. I write original fiction that's longer that is dark fantasy/horror and erotica with LGBTQ+ characters that I am currently editing and hoping to actually publish one day.

8. Snake Eyes, the Akaren Week mythology prompt, is currently my shortest fic.

9. My list of collaborations that I inwardly pine for consists of working with some of my favorite Akaren writers, but I'm far too nervous to ever initiate anything with anyone else. My faves are GremlinCat, Blueberrybagel, saigne, OllieWritesAll, GodlessOx, and BTS2016dia on AO3. I can dream, anyway. 😅🫣 That being said, all Akaren is good Akaren. I am always down to collab with anyone about anything Akaren at any time. This also goes for artists that are interested in me writing stories to go along with their art or comics. My DMs are literally always open to anyone. 😌

10. My most used tags are Kyojurou lives, porn with plot/feelings, and anal. I am a predictable man with fine tastes. 😂

11. My AO3 account is linked at the bottom. The update schedule is going to be, for the very near future: Ch. 3 of Bad Pillar, the Wet and Messy | Massages | Body Worship Akaren Kinktober prompt, Dubiously Married Part 3, and chapters 3 for Accidentally Human and Accidentally Reborn. The 2023 update schedule will likely consist of more with the Accidentally Routes, the longer modern au BDSM Akaren fic I'm planning, and the Demon Rehab fic. Stay tuned, friends. Trying to feed y'all well. 😌

https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndeniablyAres/works

[blurglesmurfklaine]

top 5 childhood movies

OMG YES THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!

Going in reverse order bc ✨drama✨

5) White Chicks

Did this movie age poorly? Probably. Is it hella cringey looking back? Heck yeah. Can I still quote half of it from memory? You bet your ass I can!

Idk why but me and my brothers/cousins used to LOOOOOOOOVE this movie and we probably watched it at least once a week, and whenever it was on cable for sure

But also terry crew singing a thousand miles??? Everyone needs that in their life

4) Elf

I could watch this movie day or night, summer, spring, fall, or winter literally WHENEVER and I will always cry because the power of love and Christmas bringing people together????

I remember when this movie first came out I actually HURT MY STOMACH from laughing so hard, it’s just truly a classic 💞💞💞

Also I am gay for Zoe Deschanel

3) The Princess Bride

I don’t think I discovered this movie until I was like 12 or 13?? I saw the cover in a $5 dvd bin at Walmart but it was the cover that was an ambigram and I was like WOAH WORDS and asked my mom if we could take it and she was like HELL YEAH WE CAN bc she knew the movie.

I almost didn’t finish watching it once I started it bc it looked Old and Boring but then my dad walked in and was like “YOURE WATCHING THIS MOVIE??” And lost his shit and kept telling me how badass it was and I was like aight I’ll keep watching

So yeah I judged it by its cover BUT LOOK AT THIS COVER

CAN YOU BLAME ME???

2) High School Musical 2

I’m putting HSM2 bc personally I like it better but let it be known that the original still has all my love and respect 💞💞

I beg to differ, but my dad SWEARS that I would literally watch this movie as SOON as we got home from school EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don’t think it was eeeeeeevery day but. I know I did have the entire script memorized at one point so that when I got bored in school or at church I would just hit “play” in my head until something interesting came along and that’s why I’m bad at math

I also had. SOOOOOO much merch from this. A backpack, pants, a night gown, an alarm clock, a jewelry box, a blanket… bc for YEARS every birthday and Christmas I just got HSM shit because everyone Knew that was My Thing. And it was FANTASTIC. I was living my best life tbh thanks Zac Effron

1) 13 Going On 30

The year is 2004. I am seven years old. My mom takes me to the movies, just me and her, no stinky brothers allowed. Jennifer Garner. Mark Ruffalo. Tons of 80s music. Romance. Best friends to lovers. Reconciliation. Existential Crisis. Vienna by Billy Joel. The obsession begins.

This is the first movie I remember seeing in the theaters even though I am TOLD we also saw finding Nemo??? The good ole hippocampus hadn’t developed long term memory yet tho so 🤷🏽‍♀️ the chokehold this movie had and still had on me…. When it was released on DVD oh lord. Oh LORD I never stopped watching it. I would play the bonus feature game, watch bts, go to scene selection and watch the razzles scene over and over.

And you know what? IT STILL HOLDS UP! ITS A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE AND THEY DONT MAKE ROMCOMS LIKE THAT ANYMORE WHERE DID THEY GO???

Also I’m incredibly bisexual for Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner it only took me ten years to figure it out 👉🏽😎👉🏽

Thanks so much for this ask! It was incredibly entertaining!

Send me Top 5 Anything

[bubbabooo]

ao3 recs

i’m back 😋

decided to make another ao3 recs list hehe, these are always my fav to make

i’ve also decided to completely revamp the way i do my recs lists. before the descriptions were too vague and lazy. now i’ll be giving my own description along with what i thought of the fic. looking back on my old recs lists i cannot believe they got as many notes as they did when they were so crappy LOL

also i don’t know if you can tell but i’m trying to make my lists prettier ☺️☺️ (hence the header image and the pink dividers :p)

side note, there’s and alarming amount of atsumu fics in here?? i didn’t even realize that i’ve been reading purely atsumu content?

Forget-Me-Not by ChaoticSins

Atsumu x reader, friends to lovers 💗💗. this one has me in a chokehold. so you and atsumu are childhood friends and you’ve been in love with atsumu practically your whole life. you end up leaving for college but then when you finish it you need to get an apartment. atsumu offers to be your roommate (see where i’m going here?). this whole story had me squealing and kicking my legs. i really don’t want to spoil it but i will give you one of my favorite quotes in this book: “But…don’t ya fuckin’ dare think yer 5 years of waitin’ around for her is anywhere near the 11 years I spent lovin’ her,” :) ongoing

msby black jackals online! by mooshys

Black jackals x reader, mostly platonic but one of the guys will be endgame ;). this one is by the same author as shiratorizawa antics! i adore that story and they both share many of the same elements. if you liked that one you’ll definitely like this one. here, you are the teams social media manager. you go through many heartwarming (and hilarious) things with the team. this story is definitely a nice fluffy getaway from the majority of fics i read haha. it was so fun to read and i loved it. completed

Better Days Ahead by morningsideup

Kuroo x reader, demon kuroo x reader, magic/modern au. do i really have to say more?? this fic…! so you are just the run of the mill museum worker (btw your co worker is tsukki), living a boring ol mundane life. until you find the demon prince kuroo who accidentally traveled to your universe and is now unfortunately stuck due to you destroying the item that brought him here. now, you are stuck with this spoiled demon prince and are forced to help him search for the missing shards of his gem that brought him here so he can travel back home. cmon, tell me that doesn’t immediately want to make you dive into this fic. the tension between reader and kuroo drives me insane. and you’ll come to know that tsukishima can be a little shit. 10/10 so far, ongoing

They were roommates by atsukashii

Iwaizumi x reader, roommates au<333, friends to lovers. you are in need of a roommate. you see an ad for a girl named tooru oikawa looking for a roommate. you jump at the chance and are looking forward to moving in. you think everything’s perfect until you get to your new home and see that tooru isn’t a girl, and that he has a very friend who also happens to be your roommate. oikawa won’t be difficult to live with, but iwaizumi? and his hotness? def gonna be a problem. this is the perfect quick read. it’s so good for when you’re in a reading stump and need a pick me up. iwaizumi makes you feel all mushy inside🥴. and the ending has to be one of the most satisfying fic endings i’ve read recently. completed

Set the Bar High by BeansNCornbread

Atsumu x reader, enemies to lovers, complicated. you work at a bar. you’re a college student and this is the perfect gig for you. however, miya atsumu never fails to make your life more difficult. he shamelessly flirts with you while he’s with other girls, and never leaves you alone. maybe you’d consider indulging him if he didn’t break your little sisters heart all those years ago. cannot explain how much i love this fic so far. the way atsumu desperately tries to get your attention while you keep brushing him off. and the tension. the fucking sexual tension between reader and atsumu. it has me bitting my nails. i binged this in an entire day. i love atsumus cocky ass and his fucking pining is so obvious but our oblivious readers ass doesn’t even realize it. craving the next chapter. ongoing

call me home by laurelandharper

Ushijima x reader, faking dating troupe<33. You are a famous ex child star and current professional model. you and professional volleyball player ushijima wakatoshi are paired up together for an ad campaign. to overcome unavoidable rumors, the two of you decide to fake date until things calm down. nothing can go wrong right? hehe. i love ushijima. i just love this man. everytime i read a fic with this man i’m blushing. what i really liked about this fic is was how short it was (occasionally i enjoy a nice quick read) and i liked the build up of reader and ushijimas relationship. it felt very real for me. sometimes when i’m reading the fake dating troupe i feel like the authors sometimes force the relationship. i didn’t feel that at all while reading this fic. ushijima is such a sweetheart and gentlemen here. love this fic please read it <3 completed

Challenge Accepted by Cutesight

Akaashi x reader, sort of enemies to lovers? There’s a challenge going around. Get the attention and “break” the handsome setter of Fukurodani. No one has completed this, no one’s even gotten close. However, when curious little y/n decides to partake in the challenge, she gives akaashi a run for his money. This fic is a guilty pleasure. It was a nice break from the other complicated fics i’m reading. It’s a very easy read and i love it for that. Honestly, a couple times throughout this story akaashi was getting on my last nerve. like just be with reader?? but overall it’s such a fun read. one of the best ways i can describe this story is idiots in love. oh and konoha is a little interesting in this fic too ;) completed

I Hope It Hurts by demxnscous

Atsumu x reader, enemies to lovers. you are the manager for Inarizaki. you and atsumu have never gotten along. the setter has always been a pain and you thought maybe things could improve over time. they didn’t. but now you’re being forced to tutor him, will things get better? this fic is hardcore enemies. atsumu and reader hate each other. this story is still in its early stages, so we’ve only seen a little build up with reader and atsumu. but i love the hatred between them. it’s so raw. it’s not the bullshit enemies to lovers where they kinda don’t like each other. they strongly dislike if not hate each other. i cannot wait to see this story blossom and progress. ongoing

Red Thread by deltachye

Ushijima x reader, soulmate au. in a world where you are bound to someone for life, all you want is to be with your soulmate. however, after finding him, and living with him, what do you do when he loves volleyball more than he’ll ever love you? i’ve said this before, but i tend to stray away from soulmate aus. this one is one of the few exceptions. honestly as much as i adore ushijima, he could be severely annoying throughout this story (which was intentional). this story does have some scenes which may be triggering for some which the author includes in her tags, so check it out and don’t read this one if you’re uncomfortable with those topics. overall, this story is a good example of how good a soulmate au can be without forcing it too much. completed

[fexiprompts]

love the idea of childhood friends to lovers fexi so i propose: theyre like in their early twenties and lexi admits that she has never had an orgasm before with any of her sexual partners, so fez offers to fuck her & give her one. they do it & it seriously fucks with their relationship but neither of them admit it, leading them to jealously watch eachother have one night stands and date other ppl until they’re willing to admit the truth

Why does this trope have me in a chokehold I need it

[cheershalo]

By request, here are some of my favorite angsty fics in order longest to shortest. Some of these are angstier than others but I wanted to give a good range!

*note: make sure to read the tags because some of these deal with heavier topics! take care of yourself!

*also: most of these are b!L because that’s what i like to read! smut or no-smut is marked as well as the basic tags!

Remember to leave kudos and comment on all these lovely fics if you decide to read!!

💔 pray for some sweet simplicity by @eeveelou​ | E | 237k | abo | b!L - (motorcycles, racer louis, journalist harry, slow burn, a classic)

An AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

💔 Collision by @tequiladimples​ | E | 225k | b!L - (mythology/fantasy, fairy louis, dark harry, enemies to lovers, slow burn, love love love)

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

💔 And I Wait for Paradise by You_Just_Mightx3 | NR | 209k | abo | b!L - (addiction, ptsd, pining, best friends to lovers, eventual mpreg, so heartbreaking and heart-wrenchingly beautiful)

The one where it’s not the Harry who touched Louis’ heart that comes home, but an addict thought to be hopeless. A paradise above addiction when Louis wins so does Harry.

💔 Don’t Let It (Me) Break by @falsegoodnight​ | E | 169k | b!L - (exes to lovers, slow burn, grief, panic attacks, healing/therapy, sad louis, def read tags, a fav of all time)

The one where Harry is oblivious, Louis is broken, Zayn and Liam are in love, Gemma and Lottie are lovely, and Niall is just waiting for everyone to get their shit together.

Oh, and it's all Malcolm's fault.

💔 Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere​ | E | 125k | abo | b!L - (touch depri, businessman louis, hurt/comfort, a fav)

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

💔 The Dead of July by whimsicule | M | 117k | b!L - (avengers au, captain america harry, louis as bucky, ptsd, so fucking good)

Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

💔 Untangle Me by suicxne | E | 103k | np smut - (canon compliant, friends to lovers, first kiss, cute <3)

The one where Harry and Louis finally get it right.

💔 nothing worsens, nothing grows by @soldouthaz​ | E | 103k | b!L - (roadtrip au, college au, enemies to lovers, friends with benefits, ot5, a fav of all time)

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

💔 Here in the Afterglow by @harrybridgers​ | NR | 89k | b!L - (high school au, historical, 70s au, small town, slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers, soft soft soft)

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

💔 And down the long and silent street by whimsicule | M | 86k | b!L - (historical au, regency au, poverty, wealth difference, hurt/comfort, a masterpiece <3)

Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

💔 Consequences by @allwaswell16​ | E | 79k | b!L - (amnesia au, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, secrets, amazing amazing)

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

💔 We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) by @harrybridgers​ | NR | 74k | b!L - (enemies to lovers, sort of exes to lovers, demons, demon hunters, INCREDIBLE)

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

💔 Latibule by @quelquesetoiles​ | E | 54k | b!L - (spirited away au - ish, mythology, fantasy, god harry, human louis, sad louis, jealousy, amazing)

A Spirited Away AU of sorts where Louis just wants to heal and be left alone, only for all his plans to be destroyed by the hands of an infuriating British God.

💔 7 Up by @cherrystreet​ | E | 52k | b!L - (friends to lovers, growing up together, will make you cry like a baby, a classic)

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

💔 Strangers in Love by @darlou | E | 42k | b!L - (amnesia au, car accidents, light d/s, growing up together, enemies to lovers, a fav)

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

💔 Ever Fixed by @eeveelou​ | E | 42k | b!L - (strangers to lovers, divorce, depression, child death, the plot twist GOT ME SO GOOD - i read this yesterday with ris and h o l y s h i t)

Three years ago, Harry was happily married, successfully heading the largest technology company in the world, and raising his young daughter. After he loses nearly everything in the aftermath of his daughter’s lost battle with a rare brain tumor, it may take three strange and yet very familiar visitors – and a man from the therapy group Harry keeps refusing to go to – to get him back on track.

💔 before we knew by @falsegoodnight​ | E | 40k | b!L - (soulmate au, lawyer harry, editor louis, stubborn harry, pining louis, literally one of the best fics ever written) 

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

💔 where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting | M | 31k | abo | b!L - (THE accidental bonding fic, mentions of mpreg, have reread many times and it still hurts so good)

Harry wasn’t wrong about that, not in a general sense. Lots of omegas did seek out rich alphas and betas, hoping or planning to go into heat at the right time. Plenty of omegas saw this as their duty, especially if their families weren’t well off. Worse, Louis couldn’t honestly say he’d never thought about it.

If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now.

As it is…Louis feels like shit.

💔 autumn leaves by @suspendrs​ | NR | 28k | b!L - (war au, soldier harry, waiter louis, french louis, friends to lovers, so so good)

Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

💔 Cherry by littlebluetui | M | 25k | b!L - (exes to lovers, famous harry, non-famous louis, comfort sex, light d/s, really good & really underrated!)

Harry and Louis were soulmates, no one doubted that.

Sometimes one soulmates leaves the other to go on a world tour though.

Sometimes not having them at all is better than only a little.

💔 like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas | NR | 22k | implied b!L - (cheating/infidelity - i don’t read cheating fics as a principle but this one just... hurts so good, haven’t reread and i don’t think i ever will but i think about it often)

Harry breaks Louis, Louis breaks everything.

💔 all this delusion in our heads by buttfucklarry | E | 15k | b!L - (exes to lovers, sad louis, sad harry, mentions of mpreg, another underrated beaut <3) 

After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can't take it anymore?

💔 a grocery list pinned in blue by dangerbears | NR | 20k | b!L - (exes to lovers, divorce, a masterpiece truly)

After eight years, Louis finally has everything he's wanted. Except for Harry.

💔 Cupid’s Chokehold by bluelemur | E | 35k | b!L - (soulmate au, cupid louis, human harry, virgin louis, feel good but also a bit angsty) 

Louis is a Cupid who tries to match up Niall and Harry. It doesn't work out as planned.

💔 Love is like this; not a heartbeat, but a moan by @loveletterharry​​ | E | 13k | abo | b!L - (enemies to lovers, ex-childhood best friends, pining harry, beach house, lovely)

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

Remember again to leave kudos and comment on all these lovely masterpieces! And feel free to let me know if I made any errors!

Request another category here. 

[destinydefied]

Ship bias: … hmmmm Cloud

               @avulsusprinceps​.  /  from here.  /  accepting.

these aren’t listed in any real order of preference, just the order i thought of them, but !!

CLOUDNOCT: obviously this one was gonna be here.  i love their dynamic and the way they banter, and even if cloud’s a jackass ( which he can be at times ), he still cares for noctis a great deal.  cloud is notably terrible sometimes at verbally expressing how he feels or what he’s thinking, but he tries so hard with noctis and it’s really sweet, even though he loves to tease the fuck out of him.

CLERITH: i have such a major soft spot for clerith, especially after playing the remake and some of the original vii.  the way that we see cloud open up for and soften for aerith is so beautiful, really, and the way that they impact each other is truly one of my favorite parts of the game.  i think the scene in the garden in the remake is my absolute favorite scene in the whole game, and this particular ship absolutely has me in a chokehold.

CLACK: this one’s another obvious one tbh, i just love their relationship and their bond, and how much cloud looked up to zack.  that said, no one can change my mind about cloud having the BIGGEST little puppy crush on zack when they first met, not that it would ever go away but anyways.  the remake also presents some....interesting opportunities for them, given that in the first part fate was quite literally changed, meaning that zack managed to get to midgar with cloud and is alive somewhere, so i think there’s definitely some good potential for angst and emotions and pining and all that good shit.

STRIFEHART: don’t talk to me about this one.  this is pretty much EXCLUSIVELY kingdom hearts based but i’ve seen a lot of content for it and honestly ??  i think it’d be neat.  leon and cloud are both smarmy jackasses at times and have smart mouths, but they care about people very deeply, and i think it could be an interesting dynamic.

CLOTI: now, i’m not a huge fan of romantic cloti, but i love them as close friends or having a sibling-type bond.  usually, i’m such a suck for childhood friends to lovers, but i adore the idea of tifa and cloud just being friends, having a deep, close connection because they do trust and care about each other deeply.  tifa is important to cloud, she plays a role that no one else could fill in his life, and i just adore the potential for their bond.

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[unpeumacabre]

Tony Stark Has Many Problems

“Ah, my friends!" Thor booms, and it's a strangely-familiar sound amid the slick noises emanating from Loki's (very pert) bottom. "My brother and I could hear your lovers' quarrel from our positions here. Would you care to join us?"

Tony and Steve have been dating for a while, but one little problem - they haven't had sex. It's making Tony very frustrated - he's never been this sexually inactive in his life - frustrated enough to take his anger out on Steve. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for them, Thor and Loki, recently reconciled and newly intimate, are more than happy to share their expertise with Steve and Tony.

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Steve/Tony, Thor/Loki (but mainly steve/tony centric)

Read on AO3 (bc tumblr messes up the formatting)

Count: 7k

Tony Stark has many problems.

Dum-E's gotten smart enough to figure out how to brew a cup of coffee, but not smart enough to realise that bringing a hot, steaming cup of coffee to Tony's worktable when he's holding a blowtorch, and spilling said cup of coffee all over Tony's lap, isn't usually the way coffee is served. Clint needs new arrows but this time he wants arrows that play Taylor Swift music when they explode - God only knows why - and Tony is having a really hard time trying to pick a song of hers that doesn't make him puke at the first teeny-boppy chord. Loki has recently taken up residence in his tower - his tower, goddammnit! - and hasn't caused any mischief in the past two days; in fact, he's even helped Tony out of a sticky situation on the battlefield, and things are getting so unreal right now, and oh, Pepper isn't answering his calls because he forgot to vet her speech for the Stark Industries annual ball even though she sent him twenty emails to remind him about her speech, and he really needs chocolate but Thor ate the last Kit-Kat yesterday, and Jarvis - that asshole - conveniently forgets to add chocolate to his grocery list, there's nothing wrong with his weight, goddamnit -

Oh, right, where was he?

Tony Stark has many problems, yes, but his new relationship with Steve isn't one of them. The fact that he's actually started dating the star-spangled, pinnacle-of-human-achievement, Spandex-wearing Captain America hadn't quite sunk in until after Steve had asked him out to lunch at the new diner down the road, and he'd looked down and seen that little burn mark on Steve's thumb, and felt a warm sensation flare in his chest. Because Steve'd told everyone he'd gotten it from fighting the Doombots that morning, but Tony alone knew he'd really gotten it from accidentally sticking his hand in the microwave when it hadn't been switched on. The memory had reminded him that, behind the facade of stoic patriotism and stern-faced Mama-bearism that Steve Rogers wears, he really is just Steve , a dork of the highest degree, who still thinks Jarvis is an actual human being hiding somewhere on one of the ninety-three floors of Stark Tower.

So yes, Tony can hardly believe that Steve is his, really his. It still has somewhat of a dreamlike quality about it, him and his childhood idol, holding hands on a picnic mat under the stars, watching Pretty Woman on Netflix while Steve respectfully gushes about how beautiful Julia Roberts is, kissing desperately in Steve's room while Clint and Thor play Mario Kart in the living room next door -

Okay, maybe there is one teeny-tiny, miniscule, quark-sized problem. And the problem is that Steve is absolutely not down for anything involving him, Tony, a bed and possibly fruit-flavoured condoms (well, a man can always dream). Sure, they'd kissed a couple of times, and maybe even engaged in some heavy petting where Tony had gotten to touch one marvellously-shaped pec before Steve had broken off stammering and red-faced, unable to look him in the eye and sporting an impressive bulge that had Tony drooling. But of course, Tony is all about respect - how proud Pepper would be of him now, if she'd only answer his calls - and he'd mournfully backed off every time Steve had called the festivities to a halt and gone off to spend a suspiciously long time in the bathroom.

Tony thinks sadly of the steamy dream he'd had last night - Steve on his lap, hands down each others' pants, and stroking each other to completion. If his younger self were here now, he'd be laughing his head off at how fucking tame Tony has become. Fifty Shades of Grey has nothing on his college days, but now he's with Steve, quite possibly the love of his life, and even the thought of a quick handjob between the sheets is arousing as hell to Tony.

Tony thinks the problem between them's because Steve's still a virgin. Hell, he knows it's because Steve's a virgin - no girl had wanted to put their hands on the skinny, asthmatic twig that had been Steven Rogers in the good ole pre-world war days, and once he'd become the gold standard for male attractiveness, being a war hero and propaganda tool hadn't exactly left much time for him to indulge. And now, in this new world where sex isn't as big a taboo as it used to be and with everyone speaking practically a foreign language, it's made Steve even more wary of carnal relations.

Yeah, Tony understands, and he's heartbroken for Steve, really he is, thinking about all the times someone'd rejected him just because they could curl their whole hand around his wrist and have their fingers meet, and about how Steve sometimes comes back after a solo jaunt about Brooklyn and just needs to lie down in Tony's lap for a while.

Unfortunately, he's also suffering from the worst case of blue balls in the entire American history. No, scratch that, the entire history of humankind, and animalkind, the entire history of the universe . Hell, he'd gone out and seen a pair of squirrels in flagrante delicto on a nearby tree branch, and he'd been so frustrated he'd pulled on his suit and taken out a whole fleet of robots in the training room.

The two sides of him - the one that's all sappy and pussywhipped and wants to worship and adore the very ground Steve walks on, versus the side making him make a bonfire out of all the Avengers' porn mags (except Natasha, because he actually values his life, despite what everyone says, and he doesn't even know if she has porn mags. Do girls read porn?) - are in huge conflict, and it's driving him crazy. Crazy enough that he's taken to avoiding spars with Steve, because if he has to endure one more chokehold with Steve's very hard, very manly body pressed against the entirety of his back, he will possibly fly to Latveria himself and offer himself as a sacrifice to Doom. Which is not a very welcoming thought, and Tony is sorry he even thought about it.

And of course avoiding Steve never works, because they know each other so well. Instead, Steve has started following him around Stark Tower and hiding outside his workshop to give him heart attacks at one am, with his goddamn baby blue puppy eyes. He doesn't even need to say anything, and already Tony feels guilty.

That's why Steve manages to corner him when he's dragged himself out of his workshop at - surprise! - a perfectly respectable hour to scrounge up some dinner, holding a plate of mac and cheese and touching Tony’s bicep with a gentle enough touch that makes Tony want to scream.

"Tony?" he says, and his eyes are very blue. "Can I talk to you?"

Tony knows he's lost the moment Steve opens his mouth, but he feels the telltale itch in his left ball - the one he gets when he hasn't experienced a release in many days - and suddenly he's resigned to the conversation that will follow. He sighs, and grabs the plate from Steve. At least he won't be hungry later during the inevitable argument, he tells himself, sadly.

He keeps walking to the kitchen anyway, hoping to get a cup of coffee, and slowing down to keep Steve at his side as a concession. Steve looks at him, his eyes crinkling, and oh no, that's not a good crinkle, it's a bad crinkle, and it usually means he's sad about something, and this time it isn't Tony's left ball that twinges, it's somewhere in his chest.

"Tony, you've been avoiding me," Steve says, directly, without preamble, because that's just the kind of guy he is. "At first I thought you were injured, y'know, because you only avoided me when we were supposed to spar, but then I realised you're not doing the same for Clint and Thor and Natasha and uh, I just wanted to ask..." He trails off, and Tony stops. He feels his heart in his mouth (and the macaroni too, but that's a different matter altogether) as he looks into Steve's eyes, and sees them bad-crinkle even further.

"Is something wrong?" Steve finally asks, and holy shit, he must've just bathed, because there's a strand of blond hair so dark it looks almost brown, escaped from his perfectly groomed fringe, and hanging over his eyes. It's adorable, and yep, Tony is totally whipped, because he automatically lifts a hand to brush it away, and immediately Steve's expression softens.

But he's still waiting for an answer.

Tony sighs. Best to get it over with, then. He fidgets with the spoon and can't meet Steve's eyes as he says, "Well, it's not something wrong , per se... Just, y'know, I'm just feeling a little... a little sick. Yeah, that's right. Feeling a little... under the weather. I think it was something Dum-E gave me, that salad he served me the other day didn't look very fresh..."

God, he's such a chicken, and when did he become such a bad liar, because Steve looks totally unconvinced. He steps closer and lays a hand on Tony's forehead instead, and that was such a bad idea, he should've said he'd gotten food poisoning instead, because now he can smell Steve's scent, the smell of fresh pine trees from his deodorant and underneath, that musky smell that is, uniquely, Steve's. Hasn't he read somewhere that if you liked a person's smell, you were compatible, because you had the same kind of olfactory receptors, or something? He tries not to think about it, and focus instead on not spontaneously combusting or ejaculating in his pants or something equally embarrassing.

Thankfully, Steve steps away after a harrowing few seconds, frowning. "You don't feel like you have a temperature, though," he murmurs, and there's so much concern in his voice that, suddenly, Tony feels irrationally annoyed. He's being such a mother hen, God , and usually Tony finds it adorable, but this time he's in a mood, a sexually-deprived, pissed-off mood, and he just wants to hole himself up in his room with twenty boxes of tissues and his Cockyboys lifetime subscription. And meanwhile he has this actual hunk of man-meat all to himself, but he can't touch him - the gods are truly evil. Tony wonders if switching to Norse pagan faith would give him better luck, seeing as how he's currently housing two deities of said faith under his roof, at great personal and financial cost.

His patience finally snaps when Steve produces a thermometer out of absolutely nowhere , and tries to stick it in his mouth. Angrily, he pushes him away, and tries to make excuses for running up to his room, but Steve is having none of it, and really Tony can't be blamed for finally yelling: "I'M ANGRY BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX, OKAY?? Now will you stop bothering me and let me go upstairs so I can jerk off over the one porn mag I have left?"

It's almost worth it for the comical expression of shock on Steve's face, his plump, beautiful lips in a perfect 'o', the one strand of hair once again escaping his fringe to hang over his eyes. Then of course his mouth snaps shut and pinches into an unhappy line, his eyes bad-crinkle even further, and Tony wants to hit himself. God, he's the worst person ever , isn't he? Yelling at Steve when all he'd been trying to do was make sure Tony's okay, taking out his frustration on Steve and bringing up the one thing he knows will hit his boyfriend the hardest. A low blow it was, and Tony immediately regrets ever opening his mouth. This is why people aren't supposed to talk to him when he hasn't had his caffeine, dammit!

He grabs Steve's biceps and, for the first time, doesn't focus on how they feel like the goddamn rock of Gibraltar under this hands. "Look, I didn't mean that," he babbles, frantically trying to erase the past few minutes. If he doesn't remember it, it means it doesn't exist, right? "I just meant, uh, I've been really tired recently and I haven't been able to -"

"To indulge yourself?" Steve interrupts him, and his voice is strangely steady. In surprise, Tony lets go of his biceps, and, finding nothing to do with his hands, lets them fall limply to his sides. Steve is staring down at the ground now, his face expressionless, but Tony knows him - he knows he's thinking.

"I'm just... I'm just afraid," he finally whispers, so soft that Tony hardly hears it.

"Sorry?" Tony says. He can't believe his ears.

Steve finally looks up, and his eyes are burning with anger and frustration and hell, is it inappropriate for Tony to be having an erection right now? Because his dick has taken the train to Bonerland and it sure as hell didn't buy a return ticket. Just imagining that intensity focused on him, in the throes of passion, Steve's strong hands pinning him down as he pounds his ass to high heaven -

"I said, I'm just afraid of sex! With you!" Steve says, and it hits Tony that he's yelling, his face blotchy with anger and his fists balled at his side. "It's easy for you, isn't it, you've done it a thousand times, how could I possibly compare? The farthest I've ever gotten is kissing - with you , I might add - and I'm just a virgin with hardly any experience, how would I know anything about how to please you, and after a while you're going to get bored of me because I don't know how to fuck you properly, and then you'll leave me and I'll just - ugh! " Breaking off with the most eloquent, disgusted exhalation of fury Tony has ever heard, Steve turns on his heel and stomps angrily down the hall towards the kitchen.

Tony stands stock still for a few seconds, his mind rapidly whirring through the deluge of words, before it finally clicks and it all falls into place.

Steve's scared , scared of having sex with Tony, because he thinks he's not good enough, with all Tony's experience, never mind that Tony's had sex a thousand times before, sure, but he can count the number of times he's made love on one hand. Steve isn't going to be a nameless fuck to him, Tony knows he's special , and he curses himself as he realises it's his fault for not making absolutely sure Steve knows it too.

He turns and runs down the hall to the kitchen, where Steve has already disappeared behind the door, pushing it open and fully intending on explaining himself to Steve, when the scene before him makes him stand absolutely still again, for the second time in minutes.

Because there's Thor, and there's Loki, and a whole lot of naked skin, and they're fucking against his kitchen counter .

A voice in his brain reminds him that this is hardly sanitary, but he brushes it aside in favour of looking at Steve, who's also standing there in shock, his hand gripping the table as if he can hardly stand upright.

"Ah, my friends!" Thor booms, and it's a strangely-familiar sound amid the slick noises emanating from Loki's (very pert) bottom. "My brother and I could hear your lovers' quarrel from our positions here. Would you care to join us?"

---

Tony can't move his limbs. Although he's seen a good many bodies in his lifetime - and with many of them belonging to the sexiest stars of his generation and the next - there's just something different about watching Thor and Loki going at it. For one, they're brothers - adopted , Loki always insists, but it never seems to make a difference to the way they treat each other - which adds an illicit touch to the whole affair that makes it just that tad bit more arousing. And for another, it's just unfair the way some people seem to get all the luck. Even though Loki's an evil son of a bitch, there's hardly a blemish on his soft skin, and the smooth lines of his back flex as he writhes and undulates sinuously under Thor's body. He's bent over with his hands braced on the counter, neck thrown back, and Thor pauses in his movements to lean forward and issue a sharp bite to the back of his neck that leaves a bright red mark against the pale skin. In response to that, Loki utters a high, unabashed keen that sends a thrill up Tony's spine, and Steve's too, from the way he shudders next to Tony.

You'd think he'd be embarrassed, but no, the smug smile he gives Tony while he glances at him under his lashes, speaks otherwise.

"Ah, yes, the noble - ah! - Captain, and the - uhh , Thor, harder - and the man of iron," he says, the breathless moans punctuating his sentences. "Quite a spate of good weather we've been having - ohh, Thor, don't stop , fuck, right there - don't you think?" and yes, he's an absolutely evil piece of shit, because it's been raining and thundering like an Indian monsoon every single day the past two days since Loki had joined them, and now Tony thinks he knows why.

Thor grips Loki's hips and adjusts him, his cock driving into him in a way that makes Loki squeal and lift his arm to curl around Thor's head and dig into his hair. Tony can now see his cock, and he's really going at it, driving it like a piston into Loki's bottom, and why can't he look away?

Steve has been standing silent and stock-still for the past few moments, but now he rouses himself and lets go of the table. "But - but - you're brothers! " he cries, his eyelashes fluttering, and Tony has to swoon a little at that. What, he's only a man, a very mortal man, with a very aching hard-on in his tight work pants and surely there's no harm no foul if he just slips his hand down to cup himself for a bit -

"Yes, Loki and I are brothers - "

" Adopted - " Loki sighs, like an afterthought, and Thor gives him a particularly athletic thrust as if to shut him up.

" - but that far from diminishes the love we feel for each other!" Thor booms, again - he only has one default way of speaking. "Actually, we have you my shield brothers to thank for helping us rediscover our love for each other. It was only when Loki came to Midgard last week to greet us that we discovered our passion for each other was beyond that of brotherly love. Loki, say thank you," and he slips an arm under Loki's chest and heaves him upright so he's facing the two of them, and Tony can see the blissed-out expression on his face and his very long, pale, slim cock bouncing with every thrust.

"Thank you, " Loki breathes, his eyes half-shut, the words like a prayer, but Tony swears that he's looking straight into Tony's eyes, and there's a little half-smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. Yup, he's definitely the devil. A devil, actually, seeing as how they've met the actual, literal devil - but really, Mephisto isn't the one Tony wants to be thinking about, right now.

Instead, he moves closer to Steve and grips his elbow, right as Steve says, his face a little green: "You mean last week when Loki unlocked all the zoo enclosure gates and let the animals out into Central Park - when you two disappeared halfway through the fight - you mean you were - "

"Yes!" Thor rumbles, an ecstatic smile lighting up his face, and really, it's not like Tony's never noticed that, objectively, Thor is probably the most attractive member of the team. Because nothing can hold a candle to Steve, his Steve, but this is really doing a number on Tony's poor battered underserved libido, all that rippling golden muscle and the way his hand is moving over Loki's skin, pinching at his nipples and leaving pink trails where his nails have cut into the flesh.

"And we couldn't help overhearing your argument from just now - " Loki butts in, one hand now gripping Thor's hand and guiding it up to clamp around his throat in a parody of the intimate touch Thor often exclusively confers on his brother. Now, his voice sounds a little bit choked, and a lot breathier , but still he continues. "And we were wondering if we couldn't offer some, ah, assistance ."

"Assistance?!" Steve says loudly, and yes, he is turning green, but Tony chances a peek downwards, and it appears that even though Steve is uncomfortable with the whole situation, certain... parts of his anatomy... don't seem as uncomfortable.

"Yes! My brother and myself, having recently discovered the wonders of carnal pleasure in each others' bodies, are of course enthusiastic for the rest of our beloved team members to find the same! Especially for such beloved shield brothers as the two of you, Friend Anthony and Steven," Thor exclaims, with a series of vigorous thrusts that make Loki go "oof - oof - oof - Thor, there, fuck - "

Tony finally rouses himself out of his reverie at these words, feeling that he has to at least try to look after Steve - even though the words leave him shivering with unadulterated lust, especially after the deep growl that rumbles through Thor's chest as he drills deep into Loki and holds himself there. He grips Steve's elbow tighter and attempts to smile without letting on how frazzled he is.

"Uh, thanks for the offer, Point Break, but I think we'll figure it out ourselves - " he says, already ready to drag Steve out of the room where they can go and finish their argument, but to his absolute surprise, Steve rips his arm out of Tony's grip and turns to face him. His eyes are burning again, but this time with a determined expression that tells Tony that he's already made up his mind.

"I want to do it, Tony," he says, decisively. "I want to... I want to learn how to pleasure you."

Tony's eyes widen. "I can do that," he offers weakly. "I know you have your insecurities, but really - "

That was totally the wrong thing to say, and Steve's eyes narrow stubbornly. Instead, he turns away from Tony and strides over to Loki and Thor, who have paused in their lovemaking to look at the two of them. Loki has a speculative gleam in his eye that bodes no good, but still, Tony follows Steve helplessly, caught in his orbit. He only just remembers to set down the macaroni plate, with a tremor in his hands that he quickly stills.

"Tell me what to do," Steve says, and the purposeful lilt to his voice makes Tony adjust himself again. God, he's using his Captain America voice , as if he doesn't know that that drives Tony absolutely crazy - except, well, he probably doesn't.

Thor and Loki exchange glances, then Thor places a hand in the small of Loki's back and bends him over. He takes Steve's hand and places it right there , where Thor's fat cock is half thrust in, the rim of Loki's hole is stretched taut around the expanse of Thor's dark, almost-purple cock. It's obscene, and possibly the most arousing thing Tony has ever seen.

"Can you feel that?" Thor whispers, and the reverence in his voice is startling. Steve nods sharply, panting in quick, short breaths, his eyes half-closed as if he's trying to block out what's happening. Almost involuntarily, his fingers gently caress the stretched rim of Loki's hole, where lube is glistening on the wrinkled skin.

Thor presses down on Steve's hand, and Steve gasps as his finger slips in with a wet pop. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, as he watches Loki's hole clench and ripple around the unexpected intrusion. That same low growl rumbles through Thor's chest again, just when Loki lets out a hiss of shock that ends in a high-pitched whimper.

"That's right," Thor murmurs. "Finger him. Feel him open under you. Get him wet and open and ready to take your cock. If you press there - " Thor's finger slips in and guides Steve to below his cock, where he presses and makes Loki convulse with the stimulation to his prostate. If Tony was a woman, he'd be creaming his pants right now - as it stands, he really needs to wash his boxers already.

For a long moment, there's only the sound of Thor's cock, and the two fingers, squelching around inside Loki's hole, and the pants issuing from Loki's mouth as he swivels his hips in a desperate plea for more stimulation. Then Steve speaks, his voice breathless and rough with lust: "Is that - is that how you start? Is that it?"

Loki bangs his hand against the table in frustration, finally finding his tongue. "Thor, you imbecile, you skipped foreplay," he snaps, bitingly. "Pull out, pull out, show him from the start."

Thor rolls his eyes, clearly used to Loki being a demanding little bitch, and unceremoniously pulls out. Tony isn't sure what's worse, the unabashed fucking of earlier, or seeing Thor's cock flushed and leaking, and the swollen rim of Loki's hole. And is that beard burn around the swell of Loki's buttocks - ?

With his other arm, Thor pulls Loki up again, the other hand on his hip steadying Loki as his legs threaten to give out. He regards Steve thoughtfully for a few minutes, then gestures to Loki's nipples.

"First, you have to arouse him, bring him pleasure so he will writhe and crave your touch," Thor advises, when Steve looks puzzled. "Touch him at his erogenous zones. Stroke him across his neck, his nipples, his belly, the area above his cock, where he likes it the most - but of course Anthony will have his own preferences."

Steve lifts his hand hesitantly and touches Loki's chest gently, right in the centre of his cleavage, his fingers trailing feather-light over the almost-translucent skin. Loki, already on the edge of orgasm and high-strung from Thor's cock, twists and shakes in agitation. He tilts his head, helplessly seeking, his mouth moving and mouthing soundless words. Thor drops his head and answers with a tender kiss, breathing softly across Loki's lips and mouthing absently over his cheekbones.

Although there is the delicious vision of the two gods' cocks dripping below their legs, and the scratches marking the expanse of Loki's chest, Tony cannot tear his eyes away from the sight of Thor and Loki kissing. The movement of Loki's head had seemed so unconscious, without artifice, a desperate wish for contact, and Thor's kiss so tender and intimate that it makes Tony's chest twist. One glance at Steve's face tells him that Steve feels the same, his fingers frozen and unmoving, his eyes full of desire and wanting and trained on Loki's tongue licking at Thor's half-open lips.

A surge of boldness flows through Tony, and he steps closer, next to Steve, and cups one side of Steve's face with his hand. Steve turns to look at him, and although he is much taller than Tony, somehow the warm glow in his eyes makes Tony feel like the greater one. He pulls Steve down and they kiss, lips moving quietly over each other. Steve whispers something against his lips, and the soft caress of his breath across Tony's skin feels unbearably close. Tony pulls away and, with one swift, suddenly-brave movement, pulls his wifebeater over his head and bares his chest to Steve.

Suddenly, he's glad he bathed yesterday.

Steve's fingers settle on his chest, over the blue glow of the reactor. Tony tenses, wondering if perhaps he's made a mistake - if Steve feels repulsion at the inhumane - thing - he's made himself into - but then Steve leans down, and presses his lips to the scarred skin surrounding the reactor. Tony can't feel any sensation from the nerveless skin, but as Steve lifts his head, eyes sparkling, and says "I didn't expect it to be warm - "

Tony pulls him up and lunges for his mouth. Perhaps it's less of a kiss, more of a desperate, sloppy, desire-filled devouring, but Tony feels an unaccountable warmth filling his body, right down to his fingertips and the tips of his toes as Steve keeps his hand steady on his chest, his anchor. He digs his fingers into the soft golden hair at the base of Steve's skull, and strokes frantically through the fine strands, pulling Steve's body flush against his as if by doing so, he could swallow Steve into himself and possess him fully, underneath his skin and in his heart where he's already wormed himself in.

A soft laugh beside them reminds Tony, suddenly, that they have an audience, and simultaneously, he and Steve turn their heads to regard Loki and Thor. There is a new line of bruises along Loki's jawline, outlining the smirk that pulls Loki's mouth to one side.

"Why don't you take his pants off?" he asks, his voice a bored affectation but belying the sharp, keen interest in his eyes, as Thor carelessly kneads the swell of this buttocks between his large hands and watches them, his pupils dilated. "You do know how the basic biology works, don’t you, Captain?"

Steve flushes a bright red, and for a moment Tony panicks and wonders if Loki's words had been too much, perhaps he's scared Steve off with his brazenness and callous words - but then Steve turns back to Tony, and, miracles of miracles, he starts furiously working at Tony's buttons. Tony could almost weep for joy. A little bitter that he hadn't thought to try taunting at first - but maybe it wouldn't have worked, coming from him - Tony's fingers move automatically to his jeans and help Steve. When the jeans finally come off, and Steve yanks them off his legs, he groans involuntarily, his cock springing out, red and throbbing from the pressure of having been confined in his tight-ass jeans.

"What now?" Steve says, defiantly, the flush still high on his cheekbones, and Loki lifts a dainty eyebrow, as though unimpressed by his bravado. He glances over his shoulder at Thor, levelling the same disinterested look at his partner, and Thor smiles lazily, his eyes hooded. With a violent movement, Thor pushes Loki down onto the counter and holds him there with a strong hand at the base of his spine. Loki arches his back and thrashes a bit, but it looks futile, and he's clearly enjoying it, so Tony just rolls his eyes.

Thor reaches down and picks up a bottle of lube from under the counter, and Tony makes a strangled noise, because that's his emergency kitchen lube, and it's mint-flavoured too, and it's half-empty, goddammnit, it hadn't been like that the last time he'd used it , clearly some people have been very, very busy. He squeezes a generous helping onto Steve's outstretched hands, and his own large, thick fingers, and places them on top of Loki's buttocks. Steve mimicks the action, and his fingers are warm against Tony's skin.

"What I showed you before," Thor murmurs, gesturing a rude gesture with two fingers liberally coated in lube, "do it to Friend Anthony. One finger." And with that, he trails his finger down Loki's crack, a soft caress, and probes in slowly. Loki wiggles his bum, clearly impatient, but Thor stills him with a heavy hand on his hip.

Tony watches as Steve's Adam's apple bobs, as he swallows, and he looks down at Tony's hole with such trepidation that Tony feels slightly offended. So he strengthens his hold on Steve's cheek, forces him to look into Tony's eyes.

"Hey," he whispers, "It's alright. It's just me, okay? Little ole Tony Stark. I want you, any way you'll have me. Any way you want. You can take it slow." At his words, Steve's jaw clenches, and he nods, like he's made up his mind. He smears the lube all over his fingers, makes sure they're thoroughly covered, then places his fingers on Tony's hole and pushes.

Tony gasps. It's been such a long time since he'd been penetrated, he'd almost forgotten how painful - and how pleasureable - it could be. It does feel a little clinical, like he's getting a doctor's examination, with the cautious but determined way Steve's spelunking around, but one look at the adorable furrow between Steve's brows, and Tony's unbelieveably turned on, beyond anything he's ever felt before. The simple knowledge that Steve's pushing beyond his boundaries, beyond what he'd initially been comfortable, just for Tony ... the thought makes Tony want to curl up into a ball and squeal like a girl. Except he'd probably take someone's eye out with his dick, which is already hard enough to hammer nails.

"Does it feel good?" Steve breathes. "I'm trying to find the - the prostate - but I can't really, um..."

"It feels good," Tony slurs. He's going out of his mind, but hell, this is possibly the best way to go. He envisions the headlines: CAPTAIN'S COCK CRUSHES CEO. STARK SACRIFICES HIS ASS FOR AMERICA. "A little bit lower, yeah, yeah, lower... uh, not there... ah!" He jerks as Steve brushes his fingers over the spot, sending a warm thrum of liquid pleasure through him and his cock spitting out drops of pre-cum over his stomach as it bobs.

And all the while, Steve keeps relentlessly at it, his touch starting to feel a little less like Tony's last prostate exam - conducted by Bruce, and hadn't it been awkward . Steve's always been a fast learner, even before the serum, from what Tony's heard, and of course now he has the serum coursing through his blood he's practically a genius, because he's found a way of massaging just so in a way that makes Tony utter a very undignified screech, and clutch tight at the base of his cock so he doesn't spill prematurely. Because that would just be the cherry on the cake, wouldn't it.

When he can finally open his eyes, he realises Steve is staring at him with a rapt expression, awe and lust warring in his big baby blues, and Tony fucking blushes , yeah he does, like a goddamn virgin. Because this is turning him on like you wouldn't believe, being despoiled by his hero, being taken apart slowly by Steve , with his hesitant but sure finger pressing at his prostate, and his other hand stroking up and down Tony's side like he needs to keep touching Tony.

"Can I add another?" Steve whispers, his voice tender, and Tony nods, once, tight, not trusting his voice. Steve draws his finger out and presses back in without giving Tony a chance to recover, just the way he likes it. Tony gasps, because now Steve's scissoring, all on his own, and Tony feels almost proud of him, except that he's too busy trying not to die of a heart attack because of Steve's fingers rubbing against his walls and massaging him persistently. Sue him, he's old, and he has a goddamn heart problem. In fact, if he didn't have the arc reactor in, Tony's sure he would have expired of a heart attack ages ago, because now Steve is breathing fast as he looks down at his fingers and Tony's hole tight around them - pained, short, sharp pants of breath as if he's not getting enough oxygen, and it's the most adorable thing ever.

Steve starts moving his fingers in and out, slowly at first, then faster as he gets more sure of himself, fucking Tony on his fingers. And Tony can't help the whimpers coming out of his mouth, because it feels too good, can't help the involuntary swivels of his hips as he tries to grind down on Steve's fingers. But Steve gives a nervous little laugh, and pulls away - Tony thinks he's been scared off, and looks at him, but he sees a hint of a smug smirk around the edges of Steve's mouth, and he can't help it, he laughs a little too, because under the whole goody-two-shoes exterior Steve's actually a little bit of a little shit. And a fucking tease too, apparently.

Tony feels himself loosening, and he knows he's ready. He wants it, wants Steve's cock, so he lifts his foot and strokes one sinful, long stroke over the bulge in Steve's pants. With his toes, he deftly pulls the zipper down and dips inside, caressing the hot flesh within with his foot. Steve's mouth drops open, and his eyes shut, eyelashes sweeping over his cheekbones like a benediction. And hell yes, Tony does feel blessed, thank you very much.

"You going to give it to me, big boy?" Tony breathes. "Gonna give me your big fat cock? Gonna press me down into the sheets and fuck me rough and hard? Can't wait for it. Can't wait to take your cock." And bingo, he'd guessed dirty talk would press Steve's buttons, because Steve is tearing at his button and shoving his jeans down feverishly like he can't wait to get naked. Tony gives a triumphant smile and a mental high-five to himself.

A moan next to his ear reminds him, all of a sudden, that they're not alone. He turns his head and sees Loki's bright green eyes a few centimetres away from him, his pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat, pink tongue darting out to lick at his lips, as Thor fists him vigorously with his hand. Tony cranes his neck to see because, wow, Thor has really big hands, and when he pulls them out Tony can see the slick glisten from the lube, and the way Loki's hole clings to Thor's hands like he's not willing to let go.

Loki lifts a hand and lays it on Tony's cheek, his mouth curling into a mischievous smile. He thumbs at the corner of Tony's mouth, wipes some of his saliva away, and leans closer.

"You and I are much alike, Tony Stark," he purrs, the rich timbre of his voice like silk. "What say you we taunt the boys a bit, hmm?"

Tony's up for anything, he is, and he returns Loki's grin with one of his own. He's not expecting, however, for Loki to grip his chin withh superhuman strength, and yank him into a deep kiss that involves a lot, a lot, a lot of tongue. Loki moans into his mouth, and God, that sounds a lot sexier that it usually does, muffled by his own lips, and Tony gives back as good as he gets, nipping at the corner of Loki's mouth and tangling his tongue with Loki's.

They're ripped apart from each other suddenly, Loki keening a high, unsatisfied keen, and Tony blinking disorientedly. He looks up and sees Thor's hands fisted in Loki's hair, pulling him backwards and forcing his back to curve into a sleek, sinuous arch that pulls his skin taut. Immediately, Thor bends forward and captures Loki's mouth, swallowing his whine in an angry, vicious kiss. Tony can't look away.

Until Steve curls his arms under Tony's buttocks, and lifts him bodily from the kitchen counter.

Tony yelps, and looks at Steve accusingly, a stinging rejoinder ready, but the words die on his lips as he sees the look on Steve's face. His eyes are dark, blown with lust, but more than anything, with possessive anger and intensity that makes Tony shiver uncontrolledly. There's no more shy virgin in Steve now, that's for sure, especially when he wrenches Tony close and presses them together in a full body caress, pressing their lips together in a greedy kiss. He mutters words into Tony's mouth - mine, mine, mine - and Tony answers mindlessly - yours - and he only vaguely registers being carried up the stairs like he weighs nothing more than a feather, and then finally, into Steve's bedroom.

Steve lays him out on the bed and rips off his own shirt, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, but it only serves to make him look like a man in a L'Oreal commercial. Really, his looks should be illegal, it's criminally unfair that he looks the way he does, all fair, freckled Irish skin across his shoulders, the deep vee of his hipbones, the dusting of golden hair on his chest and happy trail leading down to Happyland. As he approaches, Tony grips his deltoid wonderingly, feeling how the muscle stretches and flexes under his hungry, questing fingers.

Suddenly, Steve stops, and Tony sees a strange vulnerability in his face.

"Is it the... is it the muscles?" he asks, haltingly. “Is it the muscles that you - ?” And suddenly, Tony remembers - remembers the boy he'd seen in Howard's memorabilia pictures, Steven Grant Rogers before the serum, a scrawny, weak-looking thing - but still effortlessly, ethereally beautiful to Tony, even if everyone'd been too fool to notice at the time. Vehemently, Tony shakes his head, trembling with the strength of his emotion.

"Steve," he says, instead of all the words he wants to say, and that's enough. Steve comes to him, wraps him up in his arms, and slides home. He thrusts deep into Tony, into his core, until Tony can't tell where he ends and where Steve begins. Steve laves kisses over his jaw, his neck, the tender inside of his wrist, until Tony knows he'll have to wear a turtleneck with long sleeves tomorrow. Somehow, the thought excites him, knowing that only he will know the bruises underneath the fabric exist, knowing that he's been marked by Steve, that he's Steve's .

He can feel his climax approaching, almost a distant afterthought, because he's so focussed on the feeling of Steve, around him, inside him. But then Steve grips his cock with a steady hand and starts working him, and Tony tries to hold on, he really does - but he's not released in a long while, and all too quickly it's over. He spurts, long white strands of cum, all over Steve's hand and his abdomen and Tony's own stomach. Steve gasps at the feeling of Tony clenching around him, in the throes of his orgasms, and it's not long before he follows, a mass of hot, sticky fluid filling Tony's insides.

It's the best feeling Tony's had for a long time, all of it. His head's in the clouds, he feels like he's floating on air, and also Steve's cum dripping out of him is possibly the only thing he wants to feel for the rest of his life. He realises Steve feels the same when he feels Steve probing at his poor overstimulated hole, and although he hisses at the sensation, his hips involuntarily jerk towards Steve's fingers.

"Next time," Steve says, distractedly, like he's not even aware of his words, "I'll buy you a plug. So you can keep my cum in you all day, and whenever I look at you, talk to you, kiss you, I'll know you're full of me. Inside you."

Tony sits bolt upright. "You..." he manages, because where did that come from?? But Steve is looking at him now, fondly, that familiar one-sided smirk curving his lips, and really, the thought of being plugged up like that, full to the brim with Steve's cum, and not being able to do anything about it... Well, it turns him on, and his cock gives one valiant twitch. He lies back down.

They lie there in contented silence for a while, Steve humming an unfamiliar tune, and combing his fingers through the sparse curls above Tony's cock. There's so much Tony wants to say, but at the same time, he can't bring himself to say it. Steve looks at him, their eyes meet, and Tony opens his mouth.

"You think they're still going down there? We're going to have to eat breakfast on those countertops tomorrow, y'know," is what comes out instead, and Steve laughs, a quiet, exasperated laugh. Happy and satiated, Tony closes his eyes, wraps his arms around his Steve, and goes to sleep.

His left ball doesn't itch anymore.

---

Precisely at that moment, downstairs:

Loki draws pictures on the countertop with his and Thor's mingled cum. He traces the outline of Mjolnir, remembers the time last week he'd stretched Thor out and made him sit on the hammer for two hours, loose and wet and wanting, and thinks, we'll have to try that again sometime . Thor is slumped over him, watching him trace his little pictures on the countertop with an affectionate look in his eye, one hand carding absent-mindedly through his hair. It's a bit sticky, and uncomfortable, but Loki decides magnanimously that he'll allow Thor this liberty, just this once.

"That was a good thing we did there," Thor rumbles, in his usual self-satisfied manner. Loki rolls his eyes, but quietly, because he's still feeling generous. With both of Thor's fists up his arse, he orgasmed twice, and he's still floating on the cloud of endorphins, so he supposes he should be thankful to Thor, at least...

In fact, he's still feeling a little randy. His cock is beginning to harden again, where it lies against his thigh, and he knows Thor isn't finished with him yet. Thor's not known for being a fertility god for nothing, he isn't.

"You didn't tell me Tony Stark was quite so good-looking," he sighs, affecting a dreamy air. He feels the air pressure around him drop, the distant roar of thunder outside the windows, and smiles a secret smile. Yes, he knows how to rile Thor up, like no one else can - no one knows his brother like he does. That mortal woman can't even compare. Pity she and Thor used to date, because from the things he's heard of her, he thinks he and her might have gotten on, if it weren't for her unfortunate romantic past with his brother. After all, he is something of a scientist, as is she, but daring to touch his Thor isn't a transgression he forgives easily. He can't count how many past lovers of Thor's he's vanquished, and not only that, how many of these past lovers Thor himself had willingly left, just for Loki. No one can take his place at his brother's side, just as he's unwilling to give up this place he's rightfully earned.

As Thor roughly yanks his buttocks apart and settles between his knees, Loki sighs a satisfied sigh, and turns around to gaze languidly at his brother. There's a twinkle in his brother's eyes that signals that he knows he's being played, knows it, and enjoys it, just like how he'd wrested the truth of his past lovers' 'mysterious' disappearances from Loki and simply laughed the matter off before. How can the puny mortal Tony Stark even hope to compare?

Yes, there is no one but Thor for Loki, and no one but Loki for Thor, thinks Loki hazily, as he buries his face in his arms and loses himself to the wicked pleasures of Thor's tongue.

[fucking-echo]

Every ship I’m have now is childhood friends to lovers. This fucking trope has me in a CHOKEHOLD and now if a ship doesn’t follow those rules, I simply don’t want it

[zevakritpel]

Hell-Bent: Prologue-- Introducing Our Colourful Cast of Characters

Chapter 1>

Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke

Pairing: Aokise, MomoRiko, Kagakuro, MuroMura, more???

u can find this on AO3 lol

Summary: Adult AU, Criminal Underworld AU. Where Kagami Taiga is a young heir suddenly targeted by 6 rather dangerous members of the criminal underworld (each with their own set of personal troubles), and Kuroko is a bodyguard with a dark past.

Warning: Violence, Strong language, a lil dark and angsty sometimes

[Wednesday. Time: 01:03. Meet the Sniper]

Today's lucky item for Cancers is a steel garlic press.

"Oi, Shin-chan. The target will be moving along the second floor, west wall any minute now. You ready?"

Midorima clicks his tongue impatiently and tenses his bandaged fingers against the cool metal of his M24. He's been lying on his stomach for the past half hour, with the kitchen utensil tucked inside his pants' pocket digging into his upper thigh the entire time. Still, with his intense focus and dedication, comfort comes secondary. Naturally.

Of course he's ready.

"Indeed."

The sharpshooter narrows his bright green eyes in concentration, and continues to watch the movements behind the windows of the building adjacent. His position on this warehouse roof  really couldn't be more ideal. No wind either, and just the right amount of clouds in the sky.

Today's lucky numbers for Cancer: 15- 73- 3- 22- 47

Takao is still babbling needlessly into his ear piece, to the point where Midorima is tempted to turn off the sound of his voice completely. This is exactly why he prefers working solo...no, no. He must persevere. In this case, teamwork is important, especially with Takao 'Hawkeye' Kazunari.

"Alright you've got one shot at this, don't miss <3 "

"I never miss."

It's true. He never misses.

Today's target is a corrupt bureaucrat that got way above his head in his dealings with the underground. Pissed off all the wrong people, couldn't have managed to fuck up this hard if he tried.

Middle aged. 180 cm in height. Dark hair, olive skin. Has until now gone through great lengths to avoid facing the consequences for his greedy actions.

And yet the exact millisecond that he enters Midorima's range, his life is forfeit.

Today's horoscope for Cancers:  You'll soon be faced with new challenges, in both work and romance. Advice: Be wary of those who bring up the past.

Midorima takes a deep, calm breath. His hands are perfectly steady; heartbeat unwavering.

"Man proposes; God disposes" he mutters, then pulls the trigger.

[Wednesday. Time: 02:09. Meet the Fake]

"As expected of a model," purrs the drunken businessman, sliding his fat sweaty hand up Kise's thin blue designer shirt and pressing his fingers against the small of the younger man's back.

"Your skin is so smooth . How nice to be so young."

Kise giggles nervously and starts absently toying with the thick cross pendant dangling from the silver chain on his neck. With his free hand, he fishes the lime out of his gin and tonic, drains the rest of the drink in one go.

"Hehe~. That tickles..."

The businessman practically leers at this reaction, but he stops groping Kise in order to take the empty glass from his hands, and saunters over to the hotel room's mini-bar.

"Another G&T?" he asks, pulling a bottle of Beefeater out of the small fridge.

Kise nods an affirmative yes, then he also stands up and walks over to where his new drink is being poured. His bare feet are light and silent against the carpeted floor.

"I'm so glad we moved to a more...private setting. "

"Me too."

Kise hums with a genuine smile, wrapping his arm around the other man's neck. He keeps at the chokehold for a few seconds until the businessman slumps down, out cold.

Ugh. That was a pain in the ass.

Well, okay. Thankfully it didn't come to that.

Planting one foot on the chest of the unconscious body, Kise readjusts his own disheveled clothing before pulling a few zip ties out of his pocket. One to secure the wrists together, and a couple around the ankles, for good measure.

Satisfied with his job of binding the pervy sleeping man, Kise next has to make a call. Quick dial.

"Are you done?" snaps the irritable voice of Kasamatsu on the other end of the line, without so much as a greeting.

"Easy-peasy! It wasn't any fun at all."

"Fun? This isn't a game, Ryouta."

"I know, I know," Kise lies with a pout, twisting his cross necklace around his fingers.

He does not know. Of course this is a game, that's the only way he can get into it.

"But it's lucky I copied that 'seduction' skill from-"

"'Seduction' isn't a skill you can copy, you tacky bimbo. Airheads like you are just naturally good at that shit, which is why I got you to do this job in the first place."

"KYAH ! Did you just praise m-"

"Shut the hell up. "

Kise's smile widens but the tears in his yellow eyes glisten like jewels.

"Anyways, now that you've lured him in, we've got how many hours until someone notices his useless ass is missing?"

"What is it now? 02:15....He says he's just got a meeting at 13:00 today."

"Perfect. I'm coming over to take care of the rest. You sit tight until then."

Kise hangs up with a despondent sigh. He plops himself down on the older man's stomach, which makes for a nice cushion to sit on. This guy's in for a real world of pain, huh?

The young man slips his pendant between his lips, sucking at the silver cross thoughtfully.

Not that this isn't exciting work or anything (it's not), but....Kise can't help but feel his jobs lately have been pretty lackluster. He's not really putting his special skills to use, fucking over these stupid lechers that get themselves into stupid troubles.

Something good better come soon. Otherwise...

The cross falls from Kise's lips onto his chest. Right against his heart.

[Wednesday. Time: 04:04. Meet the Chessmaster]

[white noise feed]

[Wednesday. Time: 23:52. Meet the Blood Knight and the Book]

"Ahh, that smarts a little."

Aomine spits out an alarmingly thick lump of blood and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. The taste of copper on his lips only further fuels his bloodlust, to the great misfortune of the four men surrounding him.

Not that they're fully aware of this quite yet.

"Listen, I'd love to play mafia with you kids, but I've got some grown up things I'd like to take care of, so why don't you just skip along home-WHOAH OKAY."

After dodging the bullet aimed at his left shoulder, Aomine finds his back pressed up against a brick wall. Behind his favourite nightclub, no less.

"You. You're going to pay for what you did." This coming from punk #3, who would sound a lot more formidable if he didn't look like he was about to cry.

Aomine rubs the side of his face, which still stings a bit from the earlier hit (courtesy of punk #1, who was granted the first number for actually managing to get within face-punching range of Aomine).

"You're going to have to be more specific." he laughs, though he's actually much more serious than his tone would imply.  Aomine is a man who has done many things that could warrant armed pissbabies cornering him in a dark alley under the false illusion that they can harm him in any way.

He tries to mentally run through all the women he's slept with in the past month that could have had jealous lovers; it's too much work, so he gives up.

"Don't play dumb!"

This from punk #2, the gun-wielder, who seems to have realized halfway through that this kind of command is futile on Aomine. He clears his throat to elaborate:

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up in this area after the disrespect you showed our boss."

Aomine squints.

"Our boss.....last night? At the bar across the street? You broke his arm..."

Punk #2 is faltering at Aomine's complete lack of remembrance, but his comrades are growing livid.

"This motherfucker...guess we really should teach him a lesson."

Aomine's heart almost skips a beat when he sees Punk #1 pull a crowbar out of his bag. But his excitement is short-lived: the fight is over before it even begins. It takes less than 3 minutes to curb these shits into the ground and leave them writhing in the same pain and regret their boss experienced yesterday.

Pathetic.

Disappointed, Aomine kicks the unconscious Punk #4 in the ribs one last time, then staggers away from the bloodied scene and wanders off onto the main street.

Before he can brood over his easy win, Aomine spots a familiar someone leaning against a parking sign, waving right at him. That long, silky pink hair, the sweet but kinda shit-eating grin...the unmistakable three sizes-

"Hey, Dai-chan," Momoi smiles, walking up to greet him. She has to tilt her head quite a bit to maintain eye contact.

"I was worried about you after I heard you quit your job, but I'm glad that you're not above picking fights with petty thugs."

Aomine grimaces and covers half his face sheepishly with his fingers.

"Ugh. You saw that?"

"I sure did. Seriously, what the hell happened?"

Aomine would love to answer that. He really would.

"What about you, Satsuki? What brings you to this area?"

Momoi raises her eyebrows, to assure Aomine that his attempt to change the subject is not going unnoticed. However, more pressing issues are at hand.

"Looking for your NEET ass, actually. Here,"

She rummages through her bag--which is full of various papers, as is the lot in life of an information broker--before pulling out a small white envelope and handing it to her old childhood friend.

"What is this?"

"A job offer."

[Thursday. Time: 13:16. Meet the Target and the Phantom]

"Huh? A bodyguard? I don't know what my old man told you, but I can take care of myself."

Kagami Taiga's red eyes are glowing with his usual dose of boundless passion. Passion his family's Head of Security, Riko Aida, wishes he'd put into his studies. Or something. Christ, this kid is such a headache.

"Of course, I'm well aware of your physical prowess and fighting skills, Master Taiga. However, I'm afraid that, given the exposure of your existence as heir to the Kagami empire and...well, other matters-"

Riko pauses for a moment, taking a peek at Kagami's expression, which, though indignant, does not show that he picked up on the poorly explained set of circumstances. Like at all.

"Aside from the usual thugs, I have reason to believe a rather notorious, skilled set of people will be hired to come after you."

"Let them come," Kagami  states rather fervently, slamming his open palm against Riko's wooden desk.

"I'll take them on."

Riko goes through physical pain in an attempt to avoid rolling her eyes. The attempt fails. Her patience has evaporated.

"Alright, well good luck with that. I'm still going to assign a 24-hour guard for you."

"WHA-?!"

"Lower your voice, you brat! He's worked in the underground since a young age, and has a lot of connections with these types of people. Be grateful to me that I'm not putting you on lockdown until this whole thing blows over."

The young Kagami is far from thrilled at this outcome, but even he can see there's no hope of winning this round. He sits back down in his chair with a small grunt of dissatisfaction, crossing his arms over his chest. A little petulant and overexcited, but always respectful. Riko doesn't bother to hide her smirk.

"So?  When do I get to meet this guy?"

"Ah, now that you mention it, "

Riko checks the time on her wristwatch, her brow furrowed slightly.

" I told him to meet me in my office before you got here, but it seems he hasn't shown up yet."

"Uh, actually,"

Riko and Kagami both freeze for a half a second, their blood running cold, faces drained of all colour.

Moving by pure instinct, Riko pulls out a loaded handgun, ready to fire, while Kagami is already up and wielding his chair like a weapon. Both natural fighters are completely ready for bloodshed...until they register the source of the voice.

A small, pale young man, roughly Kagami's age, is standing at the back of the room, right under the small framed portrait of puppies Riko nailed to the wall a couple of weeks ago. (It used to sit on her desk, but Kagami kept covering it every time he came in through the office, so...)

"H-how long have you been there?"  Riko, who has seen the carnage of multiple battlefields, barely stutters out.

"I was here the entire time." the stranger responds in a soft matter-of-fact voice, as if that isn't one of the creepier answers he could give.

Kagami gently places the chair back to its rightful place on the floor, pretending like he isn't suffering from massive heart palpitations.

"You called me here?" adds ghost child...no, no Riko, get a hold of yourself. He's clearly human...he's...

"OH. You must be Kuroko??"  Riko, finally having regained her composure, extends an arm of welcome as he nods yes.

"You really... should've said something haha. please, take a seat."

That's him? The Kuroko Tetsuya, the notorious 'Phantom'??? But he looks so...frail. He's clad a white button down shirt and grey pants, neither of which could seem to be hiding some hidden muscle-definition. His skin is very pale, very anemic-looking. This can't possibly be...

Kuroko blinks back at Riko with his large, pale blue eyes. Though he appears expressionless, Riko can't help but feel a certain level of scorn emanating from this man. He's judging hard for being judged hard.

That's fair.

Riko chews at the nail of her thumb for one contemplative second,then decides to roll with the benefit of the doubt.

"Alright, Kagami Jr. This is the man who'll be sticking to you for the next...little while. Meet your new shadow."

"Eh?"

Kagami looks down in disbelief at the tiny pale blue creature that has just been assigned to protect his life.

A very small, very cold little hand places itself inside Kagami's own.

"Nice to meet you."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me..."

[Thursday. Time: 17:08. Meet the Reaper]

"Atsushi, you've got like fifteen missed calls. Please just answer your phone."

Murasakibara could answer his phone, but...he could also just shove another fistful of all-dressed chips into his mouth and not answer anything that remotely sounds like work.

"Atsushi...please. I think it's urgent."

Don't worry. Murasakibara makes sure to chew his food properly. It's better for digestion.

////

NEXT CHAPTER>