#child of mors!nyx

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

If Mors knew Hadnissa, did he ever notice it's similarities to Sol?

Also, in the secret desks au, since Regis learned Hadnissa because of Vitale, would he have read the letter from Alyxa and maybe found some clues about his brother?

Hmmmm...

Yes and no? Not really but he would have, if he didn't have a nation to run. Mors leacked the time to fully work that connection out.

Regis would have read the letter once he was fluent enough, yes. Its contents are along the lines of:

'Remember when you came here and we kind of had rage sex while drunk? It's common courtesy among my people to inform the other party that they've become a parent. We have a son.

A. Utris'

Of course regis searches for the name Utris. He only finds it when he goes to Galahd on his search for allies against Niflheim. When they come to Insomnia he looks at the paperwork of every make Utris in the right age bracket and whose mothers names start with an 'A'. He doesn't get very far. Regis now has the fear that his brother might have died in the conquest.

Then Nyx does something stupid heroic again and Regis has his foulder on his desk. The last name is Ulric, but his mother's name is Alyxa Utris. Regis is grasping at straws at this point, but he wants his brother to be alive badly enough that he'll check.

[pellucid-constellations]

Trial and Error (4)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Based on the request: "Azriel with single mom reader? I feel like being a single mom in ACOTAR would be tricky as hell… reader comes from autumn court and flees to night court because she got pregnant out of marriage? 😯 the shame"

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Illness, Azriel's pov 👀

a/n: Someone sedate me at this point. Also I'm posting this earlier than planned because I am susceptible to peer pressure

Read part one | part two | part three | part five

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

Azriel sat at the table for breakfast, his attention occupied by the window to his right. A plate of eggs, bacon, and toasted bread sat forgotten and untouched before him. To be honest, Azriel was unsure of how it even came to be in front of him. 

Cassian was saying something, the rest of the table humoring him with sleepy mumbles and raised brows. He was always so lively in the mornings, a sentiment not shared by the rest of the inner circle. 

Azriel was typically one of the more responsive people, but his shadow was late today. It had been a few weeks of sending one out to check on you every night, and this one was late. The rest of them swarmed around his feet in anticipation. 

“Az?” Mor’s voice had him breaking his stare from the window. “What are you looking at? You’ve been checked out all breakfast.” 

Azriel cleared his throat and readjusted in his seat. “Nothing. Just distracted.” 

She snorted. “That’s an understatement. You’re been distracted for weeks now. What’s been going on with you?” 

“Nothing,” Azriel repeated. He picked up his fork despite his stomach protesting, the nerves twisting it to the point of unease. 

“Hate to concur, Az, but you have been rather absent. I think this is the first time you’ve had a meal with us this week,” Rhysand chimed in. 

From beside him, Feyre shot her mate a look. 

Azriel, feeling eyes on him, glanced to his left to find Cassian leering at him with narrowed eyes. His brother leaned his head back and hooked his arm over the back of his chair, analyzing Azriel amidst his lax posture. 

Azriel rolled his eyes. “What?” 

With his tongue pressed into his cheek, Cassian let out a disbelieving huff. “You’re seeing someone,” he concluded. “Who is she? Why haven’t you said anything?” 

“I’m not seeing anyone. Why would you come to that conclusion?” 

“You answered that way too quickly to be believable.” 

“Azriel, are you seeing someone? There wouldn’t be anything wrong with that,” came Mor’s soft tone—trying to play the opposite side of the coin. 

“No, I—“ 

“He is. I know he is.” Cassian, with his assured pestering. “And don’t think I don’t notice how Rhys is being silent here. And Feyre. The only two people in the room that can read minds.” 

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Feyre defended. 

“Yeah!” Nyx yelled, quick to defend his mother. “Nothing!” 

But Nyx’s interference only made Cassian turn his attention to the small child and knock his head to the side. 

“Nyx—“ Cassian began. In response, Nyx shoved a fork full of eggs into his mouth. “Azriel’s been taking you to school an awful lot, hasn’t he?” 

“Mmhmm,” Nyx nodded. 

“And he’s been going to all of your school events?”

Nyx nodded again, this time with a mouthful of juice. 

“Does Azriel talk to anyone when he’s at your school?” 

“He talks to Ms. Fern.” 

Cassian let out a barking laugh and turned back to Azriel with a wide grin. “Ms. Fern? Okay, Az, if that’s what does it for you. You should bring her to the house.” 

Although he felt an immense pride for Nyx keeping his secret (because Nyx had seen him talking to you countless times) a strange, hot anger licked at the bond hanging loose in his chest. 

He wasn’t seeing Ms. Fern. The reasonable part of his mind told him that it was better this way, you would feel safer, but the unreasonable side wanted to knock Cassian across the room.

You were so much better than Ms. Fern. The teacher didn’t “do it for him” and never would. It was insulting to you. 

Azriel ground his teeth. He knew this reaction was more borne from the fact his shadow hadn’t returned and the worry he was feeling was paralyzing, but reasoning with himself did nothing. 

“I will not be—“ 

Sick, sad, help. 

A whisper at his ear made Azriel rein in his words. 

Alone, alone, alone. 

Azriel snapped his head to the side to find his missing shadow whisking down to join the rest, the hoard of them now rising to leave. To get to you, he realized. He had to— 

“What is it?” Rhysand asked. 

Azriel could feel his talons scratch along the barrier of his mind, but there was no time to let Rhysand hear what he’d heard. In one fluid motion, Azriel was up from the table and out of the house, his wings spread wide behind him as he flew to the outskirts of Velaris where you resided. 

One of the first things he would suggest after he got you to trust him was for you to move. 

He’d already reinforced your locks and checked your neighbors, but you were still so far and that side of Velaris wasn’t the best. 

He’d ask you to move into the House of Wind, but he knew that’d be pushing it. Obviously. 

His back ached as he pressed his wings further, desperate to make it to you. He flung his body one way and then the other to dodge buildings as he went, flying low to save time. Luckily, the streets were barren this early. 

But it wasn’t early enough for your shop to be closed, an all too alarming fact when faced with the “closed” sign on the front door. He yanked on the knob anyways, but the door wouldn’t budge. 

He cursed himself for ensuring their stability. 

He started knocking next—soft at first and then with a blistering urgency. He knocked and knocked and was moments away from flying up to your window and possibly scaring you off for good when the door wrenched open.

You looked beyond disheveled, bone-tired, and frankly gaunt as you stared up at him with an incredulous gaze. Your gaze softened a fraction when you saw it was Azriel beating down your door, but a tinge of irritation remained hazing your eyes. 

“Azriel, we’re closed for—” 

“Are you okay?” he rushed out.

Since the open house, Azriel had been more open with his vies to take care of you. If he were being honest, the intrinsic need to protect you and Melanie was overwhelming and he was barely scratching the surface of all he wanted to do, but you became guarded any time he got too intense. So, he walked you home and asked you about your family and he didn’t care if he got a stonewall in response. 

But right now, you did not look well. 

Right now, there was no Melanie peaking behind your legs as you stood at the apothecary door. 

So, right now, Azriel didn’t have a mind to be subtle. 

“Where is Melanie? Are you hurt?” he asked before you could formulate a response. 

He watched your knuckles pale as you gripped the door. You breathed in deeply. “Mel has been sick all night. I’m not sure what it is and I’ve been trying everything. I’m about two seconds away from calling a healer but…” 

Azriel knew that tell—the way your eyes shifted and your expression pinched. 

More people. 

Anytime you were confronted with introducing more people into Melanie’s life, you crumbled. 

“Let me come see her,” Azriel requested, the tension leaking from his voice into a softer tone. Now that he knew the two of you weren’t dying, there was some relief. Some. 

You shook your head, pressing your lips into a firm line as you deflated. “I don’t want to get you sick. I think I'm already a lost cause, but you—you have important things to do.” 

If only you knew how important you were to him. 

Azriel felt his fists clench at the defeated look in your eye. “If you’re sick, you can’t take care of her. Just let me come in. Let me help, y/n.”  

“Azriel…” 

“Please. Let me take care of you.”

He wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his mouth, afraid of you drawing back in fear, but they were already lingering in the space between you. Azriel decided you must have been truly exhausted because your only reply was a pained sigh followed by your door swinging open to let him in. 

You didn’t even send him a sidelong glance. 

Azirel’s hand twitched as he followed you up the stairs to your apartment, the urge to press his fingers along your back stifling. 

One step at a time, Azriel—you were only just letting him into your house. 

Any examination of your apartment abruptly halted as soon as his feet met the threshold of the sitting room. Melanie was lying on the couch looking worse for wear with a cloth along her forehead and a flush to her cheeks that did not sit well with the Shadowsinger. His chest caved in at the sight, a feeling that intensified when her small voice filled the space. 

“Mr. Azriel?” she croaked, attempting to lift her head. You rushed over to press her back down, running your fingers through her hair. “He’s always at my house,” Melanie said, turning to look at you. “Always.” 

You let out a breathy laugh as Melanie shut her eyes and began to softly snore against the arm of the loveseat. Azriel’s shadows rushed to the girl and brushed against her forehead and arms, offering the cool wind they provided. 

In a few steps, Azriel took a knee beside you. He looked at you first—at the way you hovered over your daughter with furrowed brows—and then let his gaze wash over Melanie. Against his better judgment, he wrapped his scarred fingers around her tiny hands. 

No poison, his shadows reported, although he didn’t expect it to be. She was feverish, hadn’t eaten since last night, couldn’t keep anything down; it was rare for fae to get so sick, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t concerning. 

Even more worrisome was the fever emanating from you. Azriel could feel the heat on his shoulder and he could tell you hadn’t stopped to rest. 

“I know a healer that can help. She wouldn’t say anything to anyone,” Azriel said after a beat of silence. 

You paused your fingers in Melanie’s hair. “Do you promise?” 

The sickness had worn you down, taking the fight and fear right out of you. 

“I promise on everything. I wouldn’t bring someone here that wasn’t safe.” 

Azriel called Majda. 

Majda arrived in a few minutes, much to your surprise. Azriel had gotten the door upon her knock, his eyes catching the way your knees shook as you went to stand. 

Majda kneeled in front of the couch where you and Azriel once were, her healing magic lighting up the room. Behind her, Azriel stood with you and he watched. 

He watched your worried brow and the way you picked at your fingers. He watched the flush on your face get worse and worse as your daughter’s illness gradually got you sicker. He watched the way you tracked each of Majda’s movements, ready to jump in at a moment’s notice. 

He watched your body shake as it held you up. 

He watched his mate and saw how alone you were. 

Azriel reached up and tucked a hair behind your pointed ear, using the ploy to feel for the temperature on your cheek. You turned to look up at him and he felt the way his expression strained. 

“You should let her look at you too,” he said, voice low and calm.

You shook your head. “I’m okay. I’m fine.” 

“You aren’t.” 

You turned back to your daughter, looking on. 

Azriel no longer cared for the farce he’d been putting on. He stepped closer and let his palm rest on the small of your back if only to support you from collapsing. He saw you glance at him from the corner of your eye, but you made no move to step away. 

It took Majda 13 minutes to come to a conclusion. Azriel knew that because he had been counting. 

“Well, first of all, she will be okay. As will you, as I see you may have the same illness,” the older healer spoke, rising from the ground with a grunt. “It is most unusual—what ails you. Do you have Autumn's blood?” 

The fingers you had pressed to your mouth were abruptly dropped. You looked up to Azriel with panic in your eyes, a question clear in your expression. 

He hadn’t known where you were from, but he had guessed, and you were looking at him as if he knew—as if he knew and you wanted to know if it was safe for the healer to know as well. 

Azriel nodded his head and ignored the bittersweet feeling in his chest. 

He had wanted you to tell him when you were ready. 

“Yes,” you uttered, shaking your head much faster than you spoke. “We both are. Is that—does that have something to do with it?”

Majda offered you a thin smile. “You have Autumn fever. Something to do with the fire that lingers in your blood. Sometimes it does not align with the other courts and your body revolts. It will pass in a few days as most. Uncomfortable bugger to be sure, but nothing that cannot be managed.” 

You sagged against Azriel in relief, the shadowsinger catching your weight as your knees buckled. He pulled you closer to his front but didn’t feel complete until he guided you back to the couch and leaned over Melanie as she slept. 

“She’ll be okay?” you asked. 

Azriel thought the question was for Majda, but when he looked to his side you were staring directly at him, fear and fever in your gaze. 

He lost his breath and captured your face in his hands. “She’ll be okay,” he assured. You were so hot against his skin. “You will too. I’ll fix it.” 

Something righted in your expression—something softened. For the first time since he entered your house, you let out a full breath and allowed your eyelids to drop. It was barely thirty seconds before your head fell as well, your forehead landing on Azriel’s collarbone. He trailed his hand up to rest against your hair and placed his other on Melanie’s knee as he stayed beside the couch. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Shadowsinger,” Majda crooned. “That’s a whole lot of responsibility. A lot of secrets.” 

Azriel tightened his hold on you. “Do you have herbs that would help? To lessen fever or pain?” 

Majda hummed. “I will leave a few.” A pause. The floorboards creaked as Majda went to make her exit. “Heed my words, Azriel.” 

“I know what I’m doing—what I’m getting myself into.” He dropped his nose to your temple, listening to your breath as you slept. His shadows continued their mission of cooling Melanie’s feverish skin. 

“Do you?” 

Azriel considered the question, and no, he didn’t know. 

But he couldn’t find it within himself to care.

part five

[utterlyotterlyx]

Written In The Stars

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary - As Azriel prepares himself for your wedding day, he recounts the moments where all of his dreams came true.

Warnings - fluff central, slight touch of angst, pining Az, lots of love all round

If there was anything that Azriel was sure of, it was you. It would always be you.

That morning had started the same as any other, although, there were two key differences. The first difference was that his mate hadn’t woken up beside him, and he walked through his memories and smiled at the one where Nesta, Feyre, Mor, and Elain had coaxed you out of the house whilst Amren sternly told the three Illyrians to not interrupt your last night as an unmarried woman or else face her wrath.

Azriel recounted the innocent terror in your eyes and chuckled roughly as the sun warmed his skin, urging him to wake.

Then he noted the second difference to his morning, it turned out that the day ahead wasn’t going to be like any other, and that no day would ever compare to what was to come. It was his wedding day. The day that he married the love of his life, his mate, his reason for existing.

His y/n.

Remembering the past 400 years, it dumbfounded Azriel how the bond hadn’t snapped sooner considering he had spent the better part of those 400 years pining after you, hopelessly in love with you and growing increasingly frustrated at your unawareness toward his affections.

There was no one in the world that was as bright and perfect as you.

They had met you in Windhaven, on a night so brutal that you had never nor ever would speak of it, and it was the only place you could go where your light would blinker. It flashed on your face often. Being the daughter to an Illyrian general meant that you had unfortunately fallen victim to the barbaric act known as wing clipping, and it was something you had worked your entire life to destroy.

Despite it all, you were as radiant as the sun, you were gifted that from your mother, she was the most beautiful person you'd ever think you'd see. Until Azriel that is. There was a certain warmth about you, a gut-wrenching scent of home that Azriel could never quite explain, an aura that pulled everyone around you into serenity and soothed any of their pain.

The day Rhys had figured out that you were an empathic healer was the day he knew that you and Azriel were meant to be. No one could soothe his pain more than you, and when he slept next to you he actually slept. No demons haunted his dreams, every villainous thought evaporated from his mind, and he felt peaceful. Truly peaceful.

Azriel remembered the moment the bond had snapped as if it had only occurred yesterday. It was one of the warmer days of the year and you had insisted upon a family day out, they were too rare even though you all spent the majority of your time together; you had leveraged Tarquin's adoration of you in your collective favour and bagged the family a day on the beaches of the Summer Court, promising that you'd keep a strict eye on Cassian and personally tie him to a pole if he stepped one toe out of line. Azriel had simply chuckled at your might as the words left your mouth.

Summer had always called to you, perhaps it was the sound of the waves, maybe it was the sand between your toes or the salted breeze that drifted by. Whatever it was, it moulded with you. Azriel had never seen you happier actually. The moment the bond had snapped had taken him by complete surprise, you were walking through the water with Nyx in your arms, occasionally dunking the babe in the water and smiling at his wild laughter as he emerged; when Nyx had resurfaced and grabbed your face in his little hands, staring at you like the brightest star in the sky, did the bond snap for Azriel.

Since that moment all he could ever imagine was the image of you with your own child, his child.

Frustratingly, the bond hadn't snapped for you in that moment, which was annoying as it was the perfect setting for it. Azriel dreamt of it when you had all returned home that evening, he dreamt of you feeling the snap and turning around with Nyx bundled up into your arms, he dreamt of your eyes connecting across the beach and the most serene smile etching its way onto your lips before the most joyful giggle passed through them.

But no, the Mother had decided to drag it out for as long as she possible could.

The entire of the Inner Circle had figured it out long before you did, only, you didn't figure it out. Azriel had pretty much screamed it at you after seeing you getting a little too up close and personal with another male during Starfall.

No one could have even tried to compare to your beauty that night, you wore a sheer dress embellished with a thousand crystals, priceless jewels that had been crafted just for you. The Star of Velaris. No one could shine brighter, not if they even wished it, and all eyes were on you and the silhouette of your figure the moment you stepped into the hall that was dressed to perfection at the House of Wind.

All air had left his lungs when his eyes found yours twinkling in the faelight, constellations inking your irises, and he knew then that no matter what he was going to tell you that he was your mate. Azriel was nervous, it was very well known that no one could ever be good enough for you, and he was terrified that you wouldn't accept it; and even more than that, Azriel was afraid that he'd lose you as a pillar in his life altogether.

Rhys had instructed the quartet to play your favourite rendition of your favourite song, it was slow and romantic, a flurry of alluring strides from the violins and crashing crescendos, if you could be a song then it would certainly be that one. Though, before Azriel could ask you to dance with him to the sweet melody, another male had swept in and taken you, curling his digits around the curve of your hip in a way that was meant to be his to do and his alone.

Azriel watched from the side-lines, itching to cut in and bring his plan to fruition, but he couldn't ruin a night made for you, not when you'd gone through so much effort to be the most spectacular thing in the room. Not that you needed to try by any means.

The moment you smiled at the male, so sultry, exposing all of your gleaming white teeth into a smile that could only be described as captivating, did Azriel completely lose his mind. Azriel crossed the dancefloor, gripping your wrist just as you were about to expose your neck to the male who believed he was righteous enough to have you, and dragged you from sight leaving behind the Inner Circle who all exchanged smug knowing looks to one another at the situation at hand.

"Azriel! What are you doing? Will you just stop for one pissing second?!" Your voice reverberated against the walls, you were struggling to keep up with his stalking, the effortless curls Mor had spent the better part of two hours styling whipping past your face in the breeze he was creating. "I swear to the Mother, Azriel. Will you please just slow down?"

It seemed as though Azriel had heard the request and cut his speed by a third, making it easier for you to scramble after him. You had continued to ask him what his problem was as he dragged you through the House of Wind, all up until he pushed through a familiar set of looming doors and pulled you in front of him, taking the opportunity to close the doors upon his own exit onto the balcony.

Looking at you in the moonlight despite your fury made him forget the reason why he dragged you from the party that you had helped Feyre to arrange, the way your dress sparkled in the light made him lose all sense entirely. "Did you drag me out here to say absolutely nothing? If so, I'll just head back to the party," you went to move past him, your fingers barely grazing the doorhandle before he wrapped a strong arm around your midsection and lifted you, setting you onto the ground on the other side of the clearing, "What is going on with you? Did something happen?" When he said nothing you took a step backward, the small of your back colliding with the stone railing keeping you from toppling over the edge, "Az, you're scaring me."

He'd never want to scare you, he fumbled with his words, stuttering out what he needed you to hear, and upon the sound of his insecurity your eyes softened. Tilting your head to the side gently to inspect him further, you hadn't noticed your hair sweep across your back, exposing the skin of your neck to him which almost sent him into a frenzy right then and there.

"You were dancing with him."

Furrowing your brow, you asked incredulously, "Am I not allowed to dance with a male now?"

"No. I mean, of course you are. Just not him."

"Then with who?"

That usual wit was prominent in the way you popped your hip to the side, hand resting on the bone as your temper rose, "You're meant to dance with me."

Scoffing, you turned around to face the open air, noting the flurry of gold from the valley below, turning your head to the side you smiled at the music floating from the ballroom in the grand hall, "I always dance with you, Az."

It wasn't a lie, you always sought Azriel out at these kind of events, even in the comfort of the River House it wasn't odd for Rhys or Cassian to return home to see you and Azriel dancing in the living area to some serene folk melody. The two were the first to know of the bond, Azriel had told them one evening when you had padded off to bed in one of his jumpers that drowned you, a ghosting grin tugged at his lips and he said, "Isn't my mate the most perfect creature you've ever witnessed?"

"It's not enough," Azriel approached you, admiring the way the breeze floated by your figure, sending the tendrils of your curls dancing in the wind that his shadows immediately shot out from his shoulders to waltz with.

A gentle chuckle rolled from your tongue at the act, you had always adored them, and they always found a certain level of peace when with you, just like everyone did. Turning back to him, you leaned against the railing, your fingers curling around the hem, "Dancing with you isn't enough? How about all the nights we've fallen asleep next to one another reading? Or maybe all of the dinners we've been out to? Or the thousands of evenings where we've gotten drunk off our asses and gossiped? What about the countless missions we've been on together?"

The ignorance was making his blood boil with need, and he couldn't stop the words from flying from his mouth, "I'm your mate, y/n!"

Your body stilled, your eyes widened in shock, and the tether of your soul swam out to greet his own, curling around it and shuddering in untold delight but you didn't move at the sensation, you hadn't even let out a breath, "I have loved you for 400 years regardless of it, I've loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you all those years ago in Windhaven. I love everything that you have become, everything that you have grown into. It snapped the day we went to the Summer Court, the day you told Cassian that if he misbehaved that you'd tie him to a pole?" A huff of amusement flew from your lips at the memory, Cassian had never been so terrified of you in that moment.

"I was content in waiting for you no matter if it took 4 months or 400 years, I was happy to sit a watch you live your life whilst waiting for it to snap, but I can't stand by and watch another males hands roam all over you. It makes me think the most violent things I have ever thought in my entire existence."

"I didn't want to ruin it for you, but I can't watch another male hold you when I know that it should be me," Azriel strode over to you, cupping your face in his hand whilst his other wound around your own, pulling it your chest and resting your palm over your heart, "I'm yours y/n. Completely, utterly, hopelessly yours. So please say something, anything."

A moment passed, a moment that felt like an eternity to him as he waited for those beautiful lips to make a sound, "You've loved me for 400 years?" Azriel barely heard your question, he lowered his gaze to meet yours, brushing a stray stand of hair behind your ear and grazing the shell of it.

The gates of the bond had flung right open, and all you felt was the pure adoration and certainty of his feelings for you flowing down the tether tying your souls together, it made you feel as though you were floating. Azriel nodded, "And I know that it's impossible to love you more than I do right now, but I know that tomorrow I will, and each day after that."

Furling your fingers into the lapels of the jacket you had picked out for him, you pulled Azriel down to meet your lips in a clash of desperate nips and teeth; his hold strengthened around you, leaning you back into the stone railing and allowing his hands to rest on your neck and the small of your back as he deepened the embrace, moving his lips against yours in a way he was only able to dream of. Parting for air, you smirked against his lips, "I love you too."

Then the skies opened, streaks of starlight soured across the blank canvas of the night, like they were waiting for you both to finish until they put on their show. The citizens of Velaris couldn't stop talking about how it was the most magnificent Starfall they had ever witnessed, and both of you were inclined to agree.

It had made complete sense that the balcony where Azriel had confessed his feelings to you was the same place where you had decided to get married a year later to the exact day.

Mor and Nesta had made sure that the balcony was covered in faelights, Elain had designed a beautiful flower arch of orchids and freshly bloomed cala lilies that Lucien had been instructed to erect that morning, and Feyre was in charge of everything else. Bestowing the title of maid of honour to Feyre was the smartest decision you had made in the entire process, Cassian pouted for three days after she had accepted, but then you had asked Rhys to officiate the ceremony which meant that by default Cassian became Azriel's best man.

The fact that Azriel hadn't seen you for almost a day was driving him insane, he had to be near you each moment he was in the city, and even on missions he would constantly flood the bond with his love for you so that you'd know that he was alright and that he was just as obsessed with you as he was the moment he would leave. Every second you were with one another meant that he had to be touching you, whether it be his fingers grasping the skin of your thigh or pulling you onto his lap so he that could be as entwined with you as possible.

Even when he was meant to be readying himself for his wedding, all he could think about was you, he sent a flow of love and unwavering certainty down the bond and smirked to himself like a bashful schoolboy when the same flood was sent back to him.

"Are you ready to get married, Az? You can still run, no one would judge you," Azriel sent Cassian a warning glare, earning him a small apology in return for the stupid remark. There was no reality where Azriel wouldn't choose you, your bargain tattoo was proof of that fact, a promise you had both made the night you had solidified the bond, a promise that you would always find one another in any lifetime, in any world. One would not exist without the other.

Azriel's suit was impeccable, just how Feyre had ordered it to be, a black open collared shirt and form fitting pants, and a slightly oversized midnight blazer made that way because Feyre knew you'd be asking for it at some point during the course of the night. If Azriel looked this good then he could only imagine how other-worldly you would appear at the end of the aisle.

You had both decided on an intimate ceremony, the Inner Circle only, it meant more to you both that way. But the party afterward would be packed full of friends from across the continent, a rare allowance from Rhys for such a special occasion. Which meant that all of the High Lords were to be in attendance, which meant some very luxurious gifts for you and your to-be husband.

The night was perfect, a soft summer breeze floated through the city from the west, the warm faelights sparkled against the backdrop of the night sky and the golden valley of the city below, illuminating the pristinely bloomed flowers in their collective hue.

Azriel awaited you at the end of the aisle patiently, stood between Rhys and Cassian who were beaming with pride, the latter doing his best to contain his tears. Mor, Amren, Elain and Lucien found their places on either side of the makeshift aisle and all looked back as the door opened to reveal Feyre wearing a beautiful blue-grey gown adorned with crystals embellished into the skirt; she had clearly been crying, and that fact made a silent sob catch in Azriel's throat.

The High Lady approached the arch, smiling brightly at Azriel and blinking away her tears before kissing Rhys on the cheek and stepping off to the side. A gentle song consumed the small quartet that you had insisted upon having at the ceremony, playing the most beautiful rendition of your favourite song, a song that meant a great deal to both of you.

Inhaling deeply, Azriel watched the doors open once more, revealing Nesta with your arm linked through hers, she was wearing the twin dress to Feyre, her hair was unbound down her spine, and she had began crying before the doors had even opened by the way she dabbed a tissue against her cheeks.

Then he found you, your skin shimmered in the faelight, like a star had floated from the sky and brushed against your skin. The dress threatened to make him crumple to his knees, a white long-sleeved off-the-shoulder garment that accentuated every single curve and angle of your form; a thigh high cut in the fabric exposed your calf and that bargain tattoo on your thigh. Then was the matter of the veil, intricately crafted so that the hem resembled tendrils of white shadow, his own shadows reacted instantly, flowing from his body and pecking the hem of it as you drifted up the aisle arm in arm with Nesta.

Nesta hugged you tightly before finding her place beside Feyre, and you turned to Azriel, taking his outstretched hand and stepping up to the dais, "I told you that I'd love you more today," he spoke lowly, just loud enough for you alone to hear.

This time the stars didn't wait for the descent, the moment your lips touched one another, the stars unleashed their joy across the night sky, casting their glow across the entire city and dragging themselves right across the balcony where you stood, showering you and your husband in their love and happiness.

The entire of the Inner Circle danced well into the early hours of the morning, and you were right, inviting the other High Lords did have it perks considering the gifts you had received. But when the party began to die down and the last few souls dwindled in your presence, did Azriel whisk you away back to that balcony where you had both confessed your love a year prior, pulling you close to his body and ensuring that the night at the House of Wind ended doing the thing you loved doing most. Dancing in one another's arms until Azriel scooped you up and carried you back to your shared home on the bank of the Sidra.

It was safe to say that the Inner Circle didn't dare to contact you for an entire month afterward.

Author's Note

Just a little one from me x

[artethyst]

~ Shadows Bathed In Moonlight ~

Azriel x Youngest Archeron Sister!Reader x OC

Little Ezekiel was not like his cousins.

Nyx, older only by two years, was cheerful and outgoing, curious like his mother and with an unbridled fearlessness just like his father.

Baby Thena, the youngest of the three, who had only just began to walk- toddle, already had the will of both her mother and father.

Cassian’s mischievous grin with Nesta’s piercing gaze.

Ezekiel, however, was just like Azriel.

He was very shy, in fact, he preferred to hide behind his mother’s legs and cling onto the shimmering skirts that pooled over them than chase after his cousins.

Rest his curly mop of raven hair against his father’s neck who was more than happy to scoop him up and carry him around, protective over the innocent child who had yet to be tainted by Prythian’s cruelties.

It was no secret Azriel preferred it that way, Rhysand and Cassian often teasing his parental axiety and overbearing behaviour, reminding him his son was an Illyrian after all.

Just as Illyrian as he had once been- delicate wings folded against his little back but with unblemished hands and love in his heart.

Azriel would keep it that way.

His Mate knew it was because of the innate fear of the Mother snatching his happiness away- as though he had never deserved it.

Ezekiel was a little miracle.

Not only were Fae children rare, the dangerous birth had put his mother in a coma, and him confined to the Healer’s for the first month of his wavering life.

It was the worst time of Azriel’s centuries long existence.

If he had been protective before, he was a hundred times worse now

When the other children played, Ezekiel was happy to curl up in another adult’s lap, to which many of them had no qualms, as Ezekiel was just the “cutest” according to Mor- a tiny version of his father that the Inner Circle could squeeze and smother with kisses.

Feyre often scolded Nyx for dragging the poor boy around, but Ezekiel held no grudges, a small blush on his face as his cousin tugged him along ranting on about whatever a child of his age had to rant about.

But now it was time for him to leave the nest.

The one his parents has so throughly wound.

“Ezekiel,” his mother bent down to his eye level, twinkling hazel eyes wide and scared. “Mama will be back soon okay?”

The little boy’s lip wobbled and tiny fists came to rub at his eyes which quickly filled with tears. His silent sobs broke her heart, Madja had always said he was an easy baby, like his father.

And even now- when he cried, he tried to hide it.

It worried her- that he would never throw a tantrum or openly seek comfort- but hide it as though he was ashamed to feel.

He choked back little cries as his mother had to force away her own.

She hated to think her little boy felt the need to internalise his feelings- especially from her.

Azriel had assured her it was okay- that he had been that way too, even when his own mother had shown him nothing but love.

“You’ll have lots of fun my Little Shadow,” she pressed a deep kiss to his wet cheek, gently brushing away his tears, trying not only to convince him but herself. “Nyx will be with you-“

“Yepppp! Come on ‘Zekiellllll!” His cousin’s voice sang in anticipation, not understanding why the boy was so reluctant to play with toys and read funny picture books all day.

Ezekiel continued to cry and so his mother picked him up, cradling him against her chest as he sobbed without restraint.

Unusual for such a well-behaved child such as he.

“D-Don’t leave me mama!” He wept. “I-I pwomise I’ll be good p-pwease don’t give me away!”

Her heart broke as he trembled and her free hand came to stroke at his curls, the way she had done to comfort her own husband many a time.

“I would never give you away my darling, and you have not been bad,” she smoothed his raven locks, “you are a big boy now, just like Nyx. You are old enough go and play with all other children-“

“I not a big boy I-I still a baby!” He cried and that was when his father appeared, face just as torn as his mother’s.

The boy did not giggle as he usually did when his father’s shadows came to tickle against his cheek, his cries coming out in small hiccups as she looked to Azriel in pure misery.

He wordlessly plucked the child from her arms, his own chest tightening at the sound of his only child’s pained cries- crying under the belief he was being abandoned.

Azriel had vowed his child would never feel the way he had, unloved and nothing but a burden the Mother was so cruel to burden the equally dismal world with.

His Mate had changed that outlook.

And now his greatest treasure- a part of them both, homage to their fiery passion and proof the Shadowsinger was indeed capable of love.

Ezekiel continued to cry as Azriel’s shadows were equally as unsettled, trying their best to cheer up the little boy who quivered so violently, he might have fallen from his father’s arms had the older male’s grip been so secure.

He would rather suffer burns across his entire flesh- take Truthteller to his heart than have his son feel unwanted.

“You know that your mother and I love you- more than anything. More than the sky above.”

Ezekiel sniffed, his little head nodding pathetically as best it could smushed into Azriel’s chest.

“You are our little star Ezekiel. You are the most precious thing to us- in all of Prythian. We would never let anything or anyone harm you, you never have to be afraid of the world as long as I am here.”

Feyre stood in the distance- letting her brother-in-law share the moment with his son, knowing just how heartbroken Rhys was at the same situation.

The difference was, Nyx hardly gave him a second glance- sprinting into the unfamiliar building with a new sense of reverence and promise of adventure.

“D-Daddy stay?” The boy became hopeful as Azriel shook his head, running a hand lovingly through his son’s inherited locks- a sense of pride and indescribable love overwhelming him at the sight.

Before he could come up with some semblance of comfort, Feyre saved the day. Pressing a wet kiss to her nephew’s cheek with an infectious smile on her warm face.

It wasn’t that she thought her own sister incapable, she just knew the poor woman was just as worried as Azriel.

Their forced smiles and glossy eyes hardly convincible even to a child.

“Hmmm, a little shadow told me that Uncle Cass has a surprise back home waiting for his best Spy…”

The boy paused, his little face red and besmirched with tears but an undeniable curiosity to his eye.

“Spies don’t cry Zekie!” Nyx chimed in as his mother sent him a gentle look of reprimand. “Come onnnnn, the faster we get home, the faster we get the suprise!”

“You like painting, don’t you Ezekiel?” Feyre continued, distracting the boy enough for him to perk up in curiosity, loosening his little balled fisted grip on his father’s leathers. “Would you like me to show you the art room?”

Azriel- albeit reluctantly, lowered his son to the ground, gently encouraging him towards Feyre who happily received his little hand in hers.

The Shadowsinger took his Mate into his arms as replacement, the loss of his son weighing heavy even on his own marred heart.

The boy had never once been out of their sight for so long.

And as Feyre guided him into the Nursery, her sister mouthing a watery ‘thank you’ as a tear cascaded down her cheek, Azriel couldn’t help but let one of his own slip as Ezekiel passed through the doors and out of his sight.

Hesitant in his little steps, but with his cousin there to help him along.

Just as Rhysand had done for his father.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Two hearts for one

Azriel X OC

Word count: +9100

Summary: Longing for what everyone around him seems to have, Azriel wanders the night streets of Velaris until a young female bumps into him and changes his life

Warnings: none I think, but let me know if you find something that should be mentioned

@azrielappreciationweek Day 3: Belonging Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Night slowly spread its dark cloak over the city, stars sadly shone in the autumn sky. Lights came to live as most of the shops closed and people were hurrying to get home to their loved ones, tugging their coats closer to protect themselves from biting cold of evening breeze.

As every Friday, Inner Circle had a family dinner followed by a game night. After eating delicious meal, everyone moved to the sitting room, merry cacophony of voices and laughter filled the room. Azriel took his usual place in the alcove near the entrance, half hidden in the shadows, soft small smile on his face.

He loved his family. Watching their smiling faces made him feel at peace and very lonely at the same time. He knew he belonged here, that they all loved him and cared for him, yet something was always missing.

Even now.

He watched Mor gently tuck strand of hair behind Emerie's ear, gleam of affection in her eyes.

Elain sat pressed into Lucien's side, hands hugging her growing belly while he had his arm around her shoulders, keeping her warm undoubtedly. His other hand was caressing her belly and the babe who was already responding to their touches, soft smiles on their faces as they whispered the words of love.

Cassian was vividly discussing his ideas for new training for Valkyries with his mate who sipped wine from the glass, pretending to be bored, but Azriel knew she was listening carefully, committing each word to memory.

Amren was seated on floor in front of the fireplace with crackling fire, small flames slowly licking the logs. Varian sat next to her, leaning closer while he whispered something to her. His eyes never left her face, the enormous amount love, devotion and admiration palpable.

And then there was his brother and High Lord, Rhys. He brought a warm blanket to wrap it around his mate and almost sleeping baby boy in her arms. Nyx babbled sleepily as his father gently placed kiss on his forehead. Rhys chuckled in answer and sat down, pulling Feyre closer to kiss her too. She rested head on his shoulder and together they watched their child, eyes shining with joy.

This room was a perfect picture of warmth, peace and love. Azriel knew that he was part of it, that this was his family he belonged to, yet he felt like uninvited intruder spying on them through thick glass. He was really trying to be happy for them, but more he watched them, more his heart hurt.

Why? Why they liked him? Why was he here? Why he felt so lonely? Why there wasn't anyone who would love him? All he longed for was a person, a single person who would love him dearly. A person he could give his whole heart to, unveil his darkest thoughts without being judged. Was it so impossible for him to be loved and accepted?

His fingers in the pockets twitched, searching for someone to touch and hold onto. Suddenly the air thickened and he felt like he was choking on it. He couldn't take it anymore.

Looking up at the picture of happiness laid in front of him, he made a step to the doors. When nobody noticed it, he made another one. On the threshold he looked back one more time, his heart squeezed in pain. Taking the scarf from hanger he wrapped it around his neck and quietly left.

White clouds rose from his mouth as he walked down the street, hands tucked in pockets. It was quite cold, but he didn't mind it. The place he grew up at, used to be much colder than this city, yet he had never owned a coat. Of course, he could dash to the night sky and be back in his room in no time, but he needed time to think. Maybe if he tired himself, he would immediately fall asleep instead of drowning in loneliness until the dawn. Letting his legs carry him wherever they wanted, he got lost in his thoughts.

The city was silent, most of its residents already retired to the welcoming warmth of their beds - beds they shared with someone dear. Azriel had no idea where he was, not that he cared anyway. More he thought about his situation, more lonely and hurt he felt. His chest felt heavy, every breath was getting harder. Before he could stop it, a quiet sob escaped between his lips, tears stinging his eyes. Tugging the shadows even closer, he looked like a ghost, a dark cloud wandering through empty streets of the sleeping city.

He was about turn the corner when someone came running from the opposite direction and bumped into him. He didn't expect it and the impact made him take a few steps back. The other person yelped and fell down. Quickly, he wiped his eyes and looked at the person.

It was a young female. Dressed in warm looking long coat, she was gaping at him, pale and visibly scared. He immediately dropped on his knees and started to collect things that spilled out from her handbag when she fell down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice husky. "I didn't pay attention to my surrounding.. Are you okay?"

She just nodded and looked somewhere into the dark behind her, her eyes wide with fear. He followed her gaze and noticed two males lurking in the darkness, waiting. He didn't need more to understand the situation.

He immediately stood up again. Baring his teeth, he spread his wings wide behind him. The blood was boiling in his veins. He didn't even want to imagine what could have happened, if she didn't bump into him. His hand instinctively reached for a dagger he hadn't on him right now. He took step toward those cowards and then reminded himself that the female was still there on the ground. Meanwhile, males pivoted and disappeared in the alley.

Azriel turned back to the female and offered her hand. She gaped at him with the same amount of fear, heaving. Just then he realized that he didn't have gloves, his scars on full display. He hesitated.

"I'm not going to hurt you.." He handed her the handbag that he still clutched in his other hand. She took it from him, shivering like a leaf in cold wind. "Do you.. do you think you can stand up? Aren't you injured?"

"I- I think I'm fine," she finally accepted his hand and he pulled her up. Her voice was shaky, but so gentle and sweet that it pushed tears back into his eyes. As the dim light of street lamp banished shadows from his face, she curiously eyed him. "Are you okay?"

He just chuckled humourlessly. "I'm perfectly fine.." he cleared his throat, looking down at tips of his shoes. "If you don't mind, I'd escort you home. Just in case those two change their mind. It's way too late for females to be outside on their own."

"That's kind of you," she smiled shyly.

They started to walk down the street Azriel came from. Azriel let the female lead the way and walked beside her in silence. Curiosity took better of him and he peeked at her out of the corner of eye.

She was quite beautiful. It wasn't the eyes-striking kind of beauty, but something more softer and subtle that was hard to explain. Her face was ordinary, almost plain without makeup, yet nice as faces of all young females. Big round eyes of colour of summer sky, small nose, full plush-looking lips, cheeks red from the cold wind. Her waist long hair seemed to be dark in dim light of streets. He couldn't put a finger on it, but he felt better in her presence.

She led him to the one of the nice but cheap neighbourhoods. Small houses with even smaller gardens stood one next to each other, the street was clean and somehow cozy though. And dark. At this hour there wasn't a single lit window. People in this part of the city had to work hard to feed their families and pay bills, so naturally they were tired and already asleep. Azriel had hardly ever passed place like this, but he could imagine children laughing and playing on the street during the day while mothers did laundry talking with each other. Maybe they weren't rich, but they definitely had something much better. Something he'd love to have too.

Female stopped in front of the smallest house on the street and nervously brushed her hair back. His eyes roamed over the well maintained house with white curtains before they looked down at her. She craned her neck with determination in her eyes, hardly reaching to his chest.

"I'm so sorry for running into you before.. and also for making you walk all the way to the outskirts of the city. I guess that you had much better plan for tonight.."

"No, don't apologize, please. I was just aimlessly wandering around, so.. I'm glad I could be to your service."

She nervously played with her handbag. "I'd like to thank you for.. you know.." With worry she looked at a certain window of her home. "If it wasn't for you, I might not return home. So.. I want to thank you properly. If you don't mind, I'd like to invite you to dinner."

Azriel's wings rustled and he gaped at her, astonished. "That isn't necessary. I didn't do it to get something back from you."

"Please," she insisted. "I don't have enough to thank you in any other way, but.. I'd be happy if you could come for dinner tomorrow." Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment. "It won't be anything amazing nor big, but.. Please. What you did for me tonight, to me it means more than you can imagine."

Azriel hesitantly nodded. "I'll come." He nervously shifted his weight, pulling his scarf a bit higher. "Can I know your name?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry.. I'm Ivy."

"Ivy," he repeated to himself. "I'm Azriel."

"Nice to meet you, Azriel." Her bright smile was so genuine that the corners of his lips lifted into a smile of his own.

"Nice to meet you too," he murmured into the night. "You should go in. I'll wait until you lock the door and then I'll check surroundings. You don't need to worry tonight."

She thanked him again and left him alone on the road. However, before closing the door, her eyes searched for him one more time and she waved him goodbye. Gentle breeze brought her silent 'good night' to his ears. He waited for few minutes until he saw dim light in one of the windows and then he dashed to the sky. He made several rounds above the whole neighbourhood and only when he was sure that there was no danger, he headed to the House of Wind.

He felt strangely weightless as he went through his night routine, all the previous sadness and loneliness long forgotten. Before sleep snatched him away he repeated her name several times. He liked the way the word rolled off the tongue. So light, refreshing and soft as her. The shadows he left behind, returned and whispered to his ear. They assured him that she safely got to the bed, omitting any details. Repeating her name like a prayer one more time, he nestled in his bed and tired, instantly fell asleep.

Azriel smoothly landed on the road in front of the smallest house on the street. Even though it was just last night that he stood on the same spot, it felt like long time ago.

Despite the fact that he went to the bed so late, he woke up at sunrise, nervous and excited at the same time. Training with Cassian helped him to get rid of some excessive energy, but it still wasn't enough. He couldn't focus on work, so he spent most of the day outside, window shopping.

He didn't want to show up empty handed to the dinner Ivy invited him to. He knew little to nothing about her, so it was hard to decide what to bring. At first, he considered buying some good wine, but it could easily turn into embarrassing situation if she was abstinent. Then he spent some time eyeing flowers. He gave up the idea, too, because giving flowers to female felt too intimate for the basically first meeting. After all, she invited him to thank him, not to date him.

He wandered all around the market place, dismissing one idea after another until he found a small shop with vegetable. That's where it hit him and no matter how he approached the idea, it seemed to be the safest option. Basket of fruit as a gift was polite enough, it didn't give the vibes of any expectations and everyone liked the fruit. He picked up the most deliciously looking fruit, then he found a lovely basket. After purchasing everything he could possibly need, he returned to his room and spent several hours rearranging his creation.

Azriel sighed heavily. He was more nervous than before a real date. He held out the basket that he carried so carefully, and straightened the ribbon. Everything seemed to be on its place. He ran hand through his dark hair that got messy during the flight, brushing them back.

Suddenly he noticed the tense silence. He could swear that he saw children playing outside as he flew above the roofs, but the street was empty now. They had to hide away when he landed. He could only imagine what they thought about him. Feeling unsure of what to do, he approached the door and knocked.

The sounds of cutting were replaced by fast steps and the door flew open. Surprised Ivy stood on threshold, pink apron with frills hanging on her hips.

"Oh, hi.." She looked back into the room and sighed in relief. "For a second I thought I lost the track of time," she smiled.

Azriel looked behind her at the clock hanging on the opposite wall. It was hardly four. Cold sweat washed over him. He was so excited that he came way too soon. "I apologize. I didn't mean to-.. I can wait outside-.."

"Nonsense! It's okay," she moved to the side. "Come in."

He had mixed feelings as he stepped in and looked around. The house seemed to be even smaller than from outside, he hardly fit in. He was standing in a narrow corridor with a hanger and a shoes rack, his broad shoulders almost taking all the space between the walls, tips of wing touching ceiling. The door on the right led to a tiny kitchen squeezed together with a dinning room. Another door led to a sitting room and then there was a staircase to the second floor. Used to the airy and large rooms he felt strange in the house where he needed only to reach up to touch the ceiling.

"I'm sorry," Ivy noticed his discomfort. "You are probably used to something better.."

"Don't apologize," he smiled, "I like it. It's cozy."

Then he remembered the gift he brought. The heart hammered in his chest as he took it out from behind his back.

"I wasn't sure what you like, so.."

Ivy clasped hands to her cheeks. "Aww, you shouldn't have worried. I invited you to thank you."

"I know. I just wanted to bring you something to thank you for having me today."

"Mommy? Who's that?" A small, tiny voice came somewhere from the sitting room.

Azriel froze on the spot. It didn't even occur to him that Ivy could actually be married and have family. Now he felt really bad for intruding her home.

Ivy looked up at him apologetic. "It's a friend I told you about, honey. Come out to greet him properly."

A golden-brown head peeked from behind the door frame, followed by big, bright eyes of the same colour as her mum's.

"This is my daughter, Adelina. Lina, this is Azriel, friend who helped mommy last night."

Little girl timidly took a step to the corridor.

"Hello," she spoke in small voice and ran back to the room.

"I'm so sorry. She isn't used to the strangers. We don't have guests here often."

Azriel shook his head, still too stunned.

"No, it's fine. I mean.." He cleared his throat, rubbing on the nape of his neck. "Where is her father?"

Ivy inhaled sharply, her voice low. "That male ran away as soon as he learned I'm pregnant."

Dread washed over him. "I-I'm sorry I-.." He wasn't sure what to say anymore. He was making one mistake after another. That's not like him.

Ivy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply to get over the feeling that the memory brought up. "You couldn't know. It's just.. so hard," she said whispering. "That male.. he was one big red flag, but I was too in love and naive to see it before it was late. I'm not sorry though. Having Lina is the best thing that happened to me in my entire life. No matter how hard it is, I'm happy to have her."

She looked up at him, smiling kindly with tears shining in her eyes. "Thank you so much for yesterday. I don't want to even imagine what would happen with her, if I wouldn't make it home. You saved both of us." She gently took his hand and squeezed it as she spoke, not minding his scars at all.

Azriel emptied his lungs with relief. He wasn't sure why he was holding his breath whole the time. "I'm glad I could help you," he murmured, heat settling in his cheeks.

"I-I think I should go finish the dinner if we want to eat on time," Ivy looked over to the kitchen and the spread out ingredients and pots, tucking a strand of long hair behind ear. She seemed to be just as flustered as Azriel. "Do you want to sit down in the sitting room? Lina is shy and quite quiet kid, she won't bother you. You can take rest there until meal is ready."

He just nodded, handing her basket of fruit and headed to the mentioned room. He had to duck to pass through the door, lowering his wings as much as he could. Sighing he straightened up and took a look around. The room was small but clean and bright with a smaller sofa, bookcase, few shelves and some flowers. Through the window with lace curtain he saw backyards between the houses.

One corner of the room was dedicated to a few toys nicely lined up on shelf and in doll house made out of box. When he compared it to the amount of toys little Nyx already owned, he felt sorry he didn't know about the girl before. At that moment he decided that next time he would bring her some nice doll to play with. However, then he awkwardly remembered that there might be no next time and he felt sad.

Small noise in the corner behind the sofa drew his attention. Ever curious shadows peeked there and returned to whisper in his ear. He didn't need them to know that Adelina was hidden there. There wasn't better place to hide at for child of her size anyway. He rubbed nape of his neck, troubled. Little girl was apparently scared of him. No wonder - he was huge, winged male she had never seen before. His appearance was intimidating even for adults at times.

Sending his shadows behind his back, he lowered to his knees. He knew that he didn't need to do this, yet he wanted to get to know little girl.

"Hey, there," he peeked behind the sofa. He imagined he was speaking to Nyx to get over the nervousness. With little babe whom he saw born, his soft side came out naturally. The corners of his mouth lifted in a gentle smile, but girl just watched him with wide eyes, shy and scared.

"I'm Azriel. You are Adelina, right?" She just nodded once. "Nice to meet you, Adelina. Thank you for having me for the dinner today." He was just rambling, not sure what to say. "I brought some fruit. Do you like fruit?" She again only nodded, crushing dirty rag doll in her small hands.

"I'm so glad to hear that," he smiled. "Is that your doll?" Another nod. "She's so lovely. What is her name?"

Confused, little girl looked down at doll and then back up at him. "She doesn't have one," her tiny voice was hardly audible.

"It's pity. You should give her some, otherwise she will be sad."

Little girl thought about it for a while. "Feyre," she said after few minutes of silence.

Azriel blinked in surprise. "That's nice name and it suits her very much. Tell me, where did you hear such name?"

"It's name of my teacher in the painting club. She is very kind and beautiful. Do you know that she is also our High Lady?"

"Oh, I do," Azriel laughed. "She will be very pleased to hear that you like her when I return home."

Adelina gaped at him on awe, her wide open blue eyes shining. "You know her?"

"Yes, she is wife of my brother. We are good friends."

Girl came out from her hiding place and stepped closer. "Really?"

"Really," Azriel seriously nodded.

"So you live with her?"

"Sometimes. I'm mostly staying in my room in the House of Wind, but sometimes I stay overnight at her house."

Girl moved even closer, shyly peeking behind him.

"Are they real?" Her small finger pointed to his wings.

Azriel stretched them out as much as he could without knocking off something and waved with them slightly.

"What do you think?" he winked at her. Girl chuckled in answer.

"And what's that?" One tendril of shadows crawled around his feet, reaching out to her.

"Oh, that's just shadow. You don't need to be scared. It won't hurt you, it's just curious," he smiled shyly, tugging the shadow back behind his back, but it ignored him and peeked out again.

"Is it your friend?"

"It's with me since I was as little as you, taking care of me."

"So it's like Lana," girl rejoiced, poking the shadow with finger. The shadow swirled around her hand flying up to her face. It poked her into chubby cheek and Adelina started to laugh. The rest followed the suit and soon she was surrounded by curious shadows that swirled around her, caressing and tickling her.

Azriel watched it fondly. It took just a few minutes and this little girl had him already wrapped around tiny finger. She was so gorgeous that he wished he could have daughter like her someday. "Who is Lana?"

"She's mommy's friend. Sometimes she stays with me when mommy has to work," girl answered giggling and started to chase shadows around the room.

Azriel sat down on the floor with his back against the sofa and pulled knees to his chest to leave enough space for their game, laughing with them. That's how Ivy found them.

"Dinner is ready," she called into the room, stopping once she saw them having good time. Giggling Adelina ran to her mum, squeezed her legs and then ran to the kitchen.

Azriel stood up, pulling wings to his back. "I apologise. We are probably too loud."

"No, not at all. I've never seen her so happy. It takes her quite long to open up to someone new. You must be really good with children."

"Not really," he shoved hands into the pockets, trying to stop the blush spreading on his face, "but I have a little nephew."

"Come," she smiled shyly. "Everything is ready."

Azriel managed to get through door and squeezed in to the small dinning table that was nicely set and full of deliciously looking meals. The pleasant conversation in trio over the meal gave Azriel peace he hadn't felt for ages. When meal was over, he helped to clean up and even stayed until the night fell.

As time to return home was getting closer, he started to feel sadness weighting his chest as a heavy stone. He wished he could freeze the time and just stay in this tiny house, surrounded by these two girls. But he couldn't. They weren't his family and he had to leave at some point.

No one was forcing him to go, yet at nine he assumed it was time to bid them good night and let them rest. He made several rounds above the street and flew home only once all the lights in their windows turned off. That night he felt even more lonely than ever, dreaming about family he didn't have. Seconds before he finally fell asleep, the empty faces of his wife and child mixed with faces of Ivy and Adelina, their merry voices following him to the realm of dreams.

Several days after the dinner he still thought about those two girls living alone in small house on the outskirts of the city. They didn't make any promise of meeting again, yet he wanted to see them. He wasn't sure what led him to such urge. Maybe it was the warmth he felt in their presence. Or maybe it was the happy face of little girl playing with his shadows. It got to the point when he went to the market to buy some fruit and pastries, stopping at toy shop along the way to choose a lovely doll.

Before he could change his mind, he landed in front of the small house with bags in hands and knocked on the door. The house was completely silent. Out of the corner of the eye he noticed that curtain of the window next to door moved slightly. He took a step back, searching the window. The door opened in less than second, smiling Adelina standing on threshold.

"Azriel, you came," she jumped in the place.

"I missed you," he smiled, relieved to see that she was well. "Is your mommy home?"

Girl just shook her head. "Mommy is at work."

Azriel peeked into the house behind her, concerned. "Is anyone with you? Looking after you?"

"No, I'm alone. Lana couldn't stay today."

Azriel dreaded to hear that answer. Squaring his shoulders, he ushered little girl back inside. Velaris was considerably safe city, but it wasn't completely without crimes. "So return inside, angel. If you want, I can stay with you until mommy returns."

Adelina smiled happily and taking his hand she led him in. Azriel closed the door behind him, locking it and headed to the kitchen. Little girl eyed with interest the bags he brought. Azriel gave her a smile and handed her one of them.

"This one is for you. Open it."

Bags and papers rustled while he took out fruit and pastries and put them on counter where he notice a slice of dry bread on a plate. "Angel, what is this?"

"Lana brought me a dinner when she came to tell me that she can't stay," girl frowned as she was trying to get through the paper on her gift.

Azriel wrinkled his nose and opened the fridge. "How about I make you a proper dinner?" There was so little in the fridge, just some basics.

Girl behind him squealed with joy as she finally opened the box and found her new doll. "Is this for me? Really?"

"It's all yours," he turned to her in time to see that adorable face of hers. She was beaming. For four years old she was too mature most of the time and very cleaver girl. Another child that had to skip a childhood phase because of the hardship of life. Azriel felt sorry for her. Getting new toy, she once again behaved like a child of her age, jumping and running around, admiring new doll and clinging to Azriel's leg. He even earned a sweet kiss on cheek. He let her joy settle before he again drew her attention to him.

"Now tell me, sweet girl, what would you like to eat? I can prepare almost everything, I swear," Azriel held her tiny elbows, gently rubbing her arms with thumbs.

Lina pressed finger to her lips, thinking. "I'd like pasta."

"What pasta?"

"Just pasta," she shrugged.

"And what about a sauce?" Girl gave him questioning look. "Okay, so different way.. Do you like tomato, chicken and spinach?"

Adelina nodded hesitantly. "I think I do."

"Fine, so let's go to the market to buy ingredients. Would you go with me?"

"But mommy told me that I have to stay in and wait until she returns.."

"It's okay, I will explain it to her. We will just buy ingredients we need and immediately return home. It won't take too long. We can fly if you want."

"Yay! Yes, please," girl squealed in excitement. "And will we make pasta for mommy, too?"

"Of course, we will."

The shopping experience went even smoother than Azriel imagined. Little Adelina held his hand whole the time or held on to his pants when he needed both hands. She was curiously looking around and as a child had a lot of questions, but she didn't as much as took a step from him. During her first flight she seemed to be tense, but on way back she was more relaxed and even dared to look down on the streets of city below. When they landed at front door of her home, she looked up at him with pure adoration.

Azriel grinned with male's satisfaction and opened door for her.

"Ladies first."

Lina couldn't look happier than at that moment. She ran inside to play with her new doll while Azriel occupied the kitchen. With help of the shadows that peeked into each cabinet and drawer, he easily navigated in the small space. The simple meal was ready in no time. As a dessert, he prepared apple bunnies from the fruit he brought. Adelina called it the best meal in her life and even asked for one more portion.

Azriel's ego basked in so many praises he earned that evening. He prepared plate for Ivy and cleaned all the mess he made. Then he walked over to the sitting room and played with Adelina until it was time for her to go to the bed. He hoped that Ivy would return by the time, but Adelina told him that she usually had to stay and work until late night. Little girl on her own took shower without any protest and went to bed together with her new doll. She was fast asleep before Azriel tucked the blanket around her.

He was crawling down the narrow space of the stairs when front door opened, Ivy stood frozen with hand on handle. They gaped at each other in a shock for a while.

Ivy came to her senses as the first. "Hey.. What are you doing here?" she asked stunned. She didn't seemed to be angry at slightest, only surprised.

Azriel rubbed on the nape of his neck, awkwardly stepping into the corridor. "I'm sorry for intruding your home again and without invitation. I-I.. I brought some fruit and pastries for you and Adelina this afternoon and found her home alone, so I decided to look after her until you return."

"Oh," Ivy recoiled. "So Lana couldn't today, too. I'm so sorry for bothering you. You certainly had something more important to do-"

She started to apologize, but Azriel cut her off. "It's fine. I gladly stayed with her. She's very good kid and we had a lot of fun.. By the way, I hope you won't be angry, but I took her to the market and.. we flew. I swear I was flying slowly and not too high. She was safe whole the time."

Ivy chuckled. "I believe you. Thank you so much."

Azriel noticed big bag with groceries in her hand. "Let me help you. You must be tired. I have used your kitchen and prepared something to eat. We left a portion for you too, if you'd like."

"It's so kind of you. I don't know how to repay you for that." She looked really tired, hardly standing on her feet, so Azriel navigated her to the table and served her the meal he made.

"You don't have to. Take it as a repay for the delicious meal you prepared the last time."

She smiled sadly and picked up one of the apple bunnies. "This is cute."

While she ate, Azriel summarized events of whole afternoon for her. She didn't say much, just smiled sadly. Azriel was cleaning the plates when his shadows tapped on his shoulder. He stopped the water as quiet sobs reached his ears. He swiftly wiped his hands and returned to Ivy. She sat there with face in her hands, crying.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Azriel.. I just met you and you already did so much for us.. I don't know how to repay you for your kindness.." she sobbed, her shoulders trembling.

"As I said before, you don't have to," he assured her, rubbing on her back. "I'd gladly help you more, if you don't mind. Anytime, you have to leave Adelina alone, I can look after her. It's no problem for me. Really."

Before he left that night, they came to a silent agreement. It was quite challenge to persuade Ivy to not feel bad for it, but he was glad he did. He felt at peace to be able to check on them from time to time.

What had started just as a visit once or twice a week, soon turned into every second day and before the Solstice came, Azriel began to visit them daily. He couldn't go a day without them, not only helping to look after Adelina, but also taking them out, doing small repairs at house or just staying with them in, enjoying a peaceful moments. More time he spent with those two lovely girls, more he liked them and soon enough he wished they were his. He fell in love with both of them and his feelings grew with every minute in their presence. However, Ivy seemed to see him only as a friend, so he kept quiet about his feelings, not wanting to break the fragile relationship they built together.

The day before the Solstice he surprised them by decorating their house while they slept. He even brought in a tree that took a good quarter of their sitting room. He tried to convince himself that the joy and tears in their eyes when they saw it, were enough, that it was all he needed to be completely happy. His heart hurt at the thought that this was all he could steal for himself. No matter how he tried, it never could be enough.

As every year, he was invited to the River House to spent holidays with his family. He wanted to celebrate with them as usual, but on the other hand, he wanted to spend the holidays with Ivy and Adelina, too. He even bought them presents a month in advance - that's how much he was looking forward the holidays in their small house. He felt torn. He considered the idea to invite the two of them to the River House, so they could be together. There was only one problem - he didn't want his family to find out about them yet. They were his most guarded and the most treasured secret that he wanted to keep for only himself just a bit longer. But he couldn't decline invitation from his family either without telling them truth.

And so he ended up at the full table of decorated River House. All couples and families sat together, laughing and having a great time, while he felt left out. Of course they were talking with him, asking about his whereabouts in last couple of months, yet he didn't really felt like a part of this chaos. He was missing something. He missed his girls, Ivy and Adelina.

Whole the time he thought only about them - what they were doing, how they were celebrating, what meals Ivy prepared for the dinner. He wished the family dinner and presents exchange was already over, so he could run to give them his presents and to spend with them at least hour or two before it would be time to go to the bed.

The only thing that kept him sitting and smiling at everyone was wine. After the first bottle that he managed to drink while the appetizer was served, he stopped counting. When his family stood up as one man to move to the tree and presents, his cheeks were already burning, his vision was blurry. Cassian noticed his drunken state and chuckling he came to help him.

"What's going on? You usually don't drink so much," he was picking on him.

"You wouldn't understand that," Azriel hiccuped.

"Maybe if you explained it to me, I would understand. Have you found some nice female you are keeping secret from us? Hm?"

Azriel stopped and narrowed eyes on him. He tried to guess him, but then gave up and waved his hand over him. Cassian didn't know anything, he was just trying his luck.

"As mysterious as usual, brother," Cassian laughed and helped him to sit into the armchair by the fire.

The following events merged together. Azriel only registered a few thanks when his family opened his gifts and someone pushed in small box into his hands. The fire crackled in the hearth, sending waves of soothing warmth into the room, all the voices created a pleasant cacophony in his ears.

Azriel's eyelids grew unbearably heavy until he couldn't take it anymore and he needed to close his eyes for a moment. Next time he opened them, clocks in the house were striking eleven. Everyone already went to the bed, the house was silent.

Azriel was still quite drunken as he scrambled to his feet, the pain throbbed in his temples. He didn't mean to fall asleep, he still had presents for the girls to deliver. He stumbled to the front doors, knocking off some vase with flowers on his way. The shadows were trying to tell him something, but he just waved them away, tired.

The cold air bit his face as he dashed to the sky, dangerously swaying from side to side in the air. It was a miracle that he managed to get to Ivy's house without any serious accident. Stumbling to the front door he needed three tries to actually get to them and knock. All the windows were already dark, inside was completely silent. Unhappy that he didn't make it in time, Azriel collapsed on the threshold with shoulder pressed against the cold wood. A puff of steam left his mouth as he sobbed. The most important time of the year and he missed it out.

Suddenly the door opened and he almost fell inside. Ivy stood there in a nightgown, her scared expression replaced by relieve when she saw him.

"You scared me. I heard knock and then some strange sounds and-" she noticed his state as he struggled to get on his feet, traces of tears half frozen on his face. "Oh, Mother! Azriel, are you okay?" She hurried to help him, steadying his swaying form.

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed. "I wanted to be here for Solstice. I have even presents." He reached into a pocket between the worlds to take them out while slurring in between hiccups.

Ivy helped him get to the sitting room and sit on the sofa. She gently took wrapped boxes from him and placed them under the tree.

"You are freezing cold. I'll make you tea." She caressed him, making sure he would be fine while she would make him cup of tea to warm him up.

Azriel's heavy hand landed on her arm, his long fingers locked around her wrist, pulling her closer. With half-lidded, glossy eyes he looked up at her, dreamy smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

"You are so beautiful and kind and perfect," he slurred in a deep voice, every second word followed by hiccups. "And I love you so much.. Really love you.. Both of you.. You are my everything.. I don't want to live without you two.."

Ivy blinked in surprise, her bottom lip trembling as her blue eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Azriel," she caressed his cold cheek, blushing. "I feel the same way for some time now. I didn't even dare to dream that someone like you could-.. But I-..I love you, too.."

Her voice was so quiet that he wasn't sure he really heard it. He convinced himself that it was just some drunken hallucination and sobbed. "I don't want to destroy our relationship.. I need you.."

"You aren't destroying anything. Quite otherwise."

"I love you," she said more clearly when he gave her a questioning look. In his current state he was kind of cute and definitely more opened than usual.

The sweetest smile spread on his face as her words reached him and he pulled her even closer. His body warmed up within seconds, the usual heat radiating from him. Heart in his chest picked up on speed.

"Angel," he murmured, cupping her face. "I want to kiss you, but I'm too drunken."

"So maybe you could do so in the morning after sleeping it out. What do you think?" she chuckled shyly.

He nodded, scrambling to his feet. Swaying and trying to find balance, he headed to the front door. However, Ivy stopped him, pulling on the back of his sweater.

"I'd prefer you to stay here tonight. I can't possibly let you go out in this state. You could get hurt or freeze to death somewhere."

He looked down at her, blinking to focus and then drew hand down his face when it failed. "I-.. Fine.."

He let Ivy lead him up the stairs. He had a hard time to get to the second floor sober, so in drunken state it was even harder, but with great help of small female and his shadows he finally climbed the last step. Ivy ushered him to her bedroom where he collapsed face down on the bed as long as wide. She carefully tucked him in the blankets.

"I'll stay down on the sofa, so you get good rest, okay?"

He hummed, long sigh of relief leaving him, his eyes already closed. The soft sheets smelled like her, like a meadow of wild flowers and a summer sun, luring him into a deep slumber. He couldn't resist it.

"I'll get you a bigger bed," he murmured seconds before falling asleep.

Ivy smiled gently as she brushed dark strands from his face. "Good night."

She took one warm blanket, checked on her daughter who miraculously slept through all the fuss, and returned to the sitting room. Settling on the sofa she felt something cold swirl around her, gently touching her and tucking blanket around her. Azriel's shadows followed her to make sure she had as much comfort as possible.

"Thank you," she whispered into the dark and fell asleep with smile on lips.

At the dawn Ivy woke up, hearing small noise from the second floor. Sighing she rolled to the her side. Her gaze fell to the nicely wrapped boxes under the tree and she smiled. So after all it wasn't a dream. Azriel really came.

Whole house smelled of pine, small decorations shone in the first rays of winter sun. Now, when Azriel was there too, everything felt festive. Last evening, with Lina they waited for him. He didn't promise to come, yet they expected him to appear at least for few minutes. They both knew very well that he had family to spend this time of year with. Nevertheless, they hoped.

They waited with dinner and opening of presents until last moment, but when it was eight and there was no sign of him, Ivy put food on the plates and they ate alone. Adelina was sad whole the time. Not even new clothes for the Azriel's doll made her smile. Gazing at the gift they prepared for him, they waited until ten in silence. Then Ivy shoved the present into the drawer and they went to the bed. Ivy read a story to her daughter and when girl fell asleep, she retired to her bedroom, but for a world she couldn't fall asleep. She was tossing, worried that maybe something happened to him and he couldn't come.

How surprised she was when all scared she went to search for the source of strange noises and found drunken and crying Azriel curled up at her door. He didn't forget nor ignored them after all. And when he confessed.. Even in his drunken state it was the sweetest thing ever. She couldn't be more happier than at that moment.

Smiling, she got up and walked over to the bookcase. She took out the present for Azriel from the drawer and careful placed it under the tree next to the ones from him. It looked so tiny compared to his gifts that she felt ashamed. She sat there thinking about all kinds of things when the realisation hit her.

Adelina had a habit of climbing into her bed in the morning. Fearing what her daughter could feel finding Azriel sleeping in the bed instead of her mum in her half-asleep state, Ivy rushed up the stairs. The door of Lina's room were opened, the little girl nowhere to be found. Ivy swore under her breath and tiptoed to the door of her bedroom. She silently pushed them open and froze on the spot.

Azriel was lying on his side, softly snoring, curled around the small form of her daughter. The little girl was pressed against his chest with head rested on his biceps. His other arm and one wing were wrapped around her, keeping her warm and protecting her from the fall from bed. They both were fast asleep, smiling softly.

Ivy couldn't believe her eyes. It was the most adorable thing she had ever seen, her chest swelled with warmth and love. Wiping tears, she quietly backed from the room and closed the door. Changing from her nightgown, she set off to the bakery to buy freshly baked bread for the breakfast, dark tendrils of shadows at her heels. The little things followed her since the last evening and she couldn't help but smile at them.

Azriel woke up, his head throbbing. He reached to his temples, realizing where he was and that little Adelina slept next to him. The pain immediately forgotten, he smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. The little girl sighed contentedly but her eyes remained closed.

He vaguely remembered how half-asleep she tugged on his arm to let her into the bed. When he made a space for her, she climbed up without a word and wrapping her small arms around his bigger one, she fell again asleep.

Carefully untangling from the blankets he got up and headed to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and looked in the mirror. He looked as shitty as he felt. He shouldn't have drunk so much wine. Realising what he said in a drunken state, he headed down to look for Ivy. He didn't mean to take back any of the things he said because he meant them, but he needed to apologise for scaring her so late at the night and bothering her.

He squeezed down the narrow staircase at the same moment as front door opened.

"Good morning," Ivy greeted him merrily with steaming paper bag in hands. When she closed the door, the smell of freshly baked bread filled the air. She didn't seem to be angry at all. She gave him a shy smile and hurried to the kitchen. Azriel followed her, getting few pokes from his shadows that returned together with her. He had such hungover that he didn't even notice they were missing.

"I know," he whispered to them quietly.

"Good morning," he rasped, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

Ivy shivered at the sound, masking it by taking down her cloak and cap. "It's so cold outside," she shyly hurried out from the kitchen to hang them.

Azriel waited until she returned, thinking where to start.

"Ivy?" he said hesitantly. She turned to him, giving him all her attention. "I want to apologise for causing you troubles last night. I shouldn't have come in such state. I'm really sorry."

"No, it's fine," she smiled, uncertain.

Azriel was so nervous. His feelings were never accepted for some reason. It was hard to believe that in this case it could be any different, but he couldn't loose them. Looking down at his feet, he continued.

"Also.. I'd like to assure you that I remember everything I said and that I meant every single word. It wasn't just some drunken bullshit. I really.. love you and your daughter. I'm serious. Even if you don't feel the same way, I'd like to.. stay close to you both.. I won't bother you with my feelings anymore, just-.. Allow me to be your friend, please.."

"..silly.."

"Excuse me?" Azriel's gaze shot up.

Ivy stood in front of him, hiding smile in her palm while tears trailed down her cheeks. "If you remember everything you told me last night, then you have to also remember what I told you."

Azriel fished in his memory. He clearly remembered his words, however, everything else was blurred.

"To be honest, I'm not sure what of that was real and what was a dream," he admitted at last.

"Silly.. I told you that I love you. Don't you remember?"

Azriel's eyes widened. He thought that he imagined it all, that his drunken brain played tricks on him. He bridged the distance between them with one long step, sweeping her into his arms. Nuzzling to her hair, he inhaled deeply. Not even the smell of winter could cover her calming scent.

"I do.. I remember, but I thought that it was a dream," he murmured, squeezing her tightly. Her trembling hands fisted his sweater, holding him close.

They stayed like that for a while, then Azriel pulled away slightly. His hazel eyes searched hers. "Is the thing about the kiss true too?"

She nodded without hesitation and he didn't need more. Their lips hardly touched when light steps sounded on the stairs. They immediately jumped from each other and moved to the counter, pretending they were in the middle of preparing the breakfast. They both were fiercely blushing.

"Azriel!" Adelina squealed when she saw him. "You are here!"

She apparently didn't have any recollection of climbing to his bed earlier. Azriel smiled at her and picking her up, squeezed her in tight embrace.

"Good morning, sunshine. Of course I came. I'm sorry I didn't make it last night."

Little girl held him just as firmly. "I missed you."

"Okay, little lady," Ivy interrupted them, emotions swirling in her eyes. "Let's change and wash first. You can't eat like this."

Leading her to the door, Ivy turned and smiled sheepishly at Azriel, her cheeks still bright red. They almost got caught. Azriel could hardly believe this all. His heart hammered in his chest, all the emotions were overwhelming. He needed to busy his hands while his head was processing it all.

Before girls returned, he set the table, cut bread and prepared everything they could possibly need, not forgetting even hot cocoa. Adelina squealed happily as soon as she saw full table and ran to her seat. Azriel pulled out chair for Ivy, gently touching her as he squeezed in, too. They talked about plans for the day while eating when little girl surprised them both.

"Papa, could I get more cocoa?" She pleaded, her big blue eyes on Azriel.

His hand with bread froze on a halfway to his mouth, his breath hitched. His heart squeezed in the sweetest pain, stopping for a second, tears stinging his eyes.

"What..?" Even his voice was strangely hoarse.

Lina's eyes hesitantly skipped between two adults in front of her. "I'd like more cocoa," she repeated in small voice.

Azriel looked at Ivy, silently asking for permission and she nodded encouragingly. Wetting his dry lips, he cleared his throat.

"Sure, you can get more cocoa, but.. How did you call me?" He asked her softly, his voice slightly shaking.

He had to shove his hands under the table to hide the tremor, wiping the sweat into his pants. He hung his gaze on her small mouth, hoping she would repeat the word, dreading the impact it would have on his life. Because if she said it again, there would be no way back. He would selfishly claim this family as his own and he wouldn't let them go, cherishing them until he breathed out for the last time.

"Papa," she said in a small voice.

Azriel groaned, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was the most beautiful word he had ever heard in his long life. Clasping hands over his face he sobbed. His heart was about to explode with the happiness. After years of longing, he finally found family of his own. Finally he had someone to give his whole heart to, but instead of one, he got two hearts back. His shoulders trembled as he sobbed uncontrollably.

"Did I say something bad?" Adelina turned to her mother who cried too.

"No, sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. You just made us very happy," she explained softly and took her mug to refill it.

Adelina slipped down from her chair and stepped to Azriel.

"Pain, pain, go away," she chanted, diligently rubbing his shoulder. He swept her into his arms and sitting her on his lap, he hugged her.

"Thank you, angel," he kissed the crown of her head and nuzzled to her doll-like long hair.

Ivy joined them shortly and put the mug on the table. Azriel pulled her down to his lap and kissed her. There was no better feeling than holding both of his girls, his most precious treasures, in his arms, safely wrapped by his wings. Now they were his to care for and to protect and he swore to Gods that he would make sure they had the best life he could offer them.

[bookwormjust]

A Quiet afternoon with the IC ? (established relationship with Cassian, caring for Nyx, child always listening to the little voice in their head)

The late afternoon sun filtered through the large windows of the House of Wind, casting a soft, golden glow across the room. The Inner Circle had gathered for a casual afternoon together, the room filled with laughter and conversation as everyone enjoyed the rare peace. Feyre was perched on the couch beside Rhys, her eyes soft as she watched their son, Nyx, toddling around with you.

You were seated on the floor, your long, curly hair tumbling down your back as you helped Nyx with a little craft project. He was fascinated by the small pieces of paper you had folded for him, making them ready for him to use like a pretend chisel. Cassian, who sat nearby with a fond smile on his face, was watching the scene unfold, his love for you evident in the soft glow of his hazel eyes.

Nyx was a bundle of energy, his tiny hands grabbing at the paper with excitement. You laughed softly, explaining how to use the paper pieces while his bright, wide eyes stayed locked on your long hair as it cascaded down your back. He was a curious child, always reaching for things and exploring the world around him.

For just a second, your attention slipped away as Mor leaned in to speak with you, something about the latest gossip in Velaris catching your ear. You turned to her, your focus on her story, and in that brief moment, Nyx, with his little hands and even smaller scissors, snipped a strand of your long hair before anyone could stop him.

A collective gasp echoed through the room as a few loose curls tumbled down onto the floor. Nyx’s eyes went wide as he realized what he’d done, and you could feel the weight of the silence that fell over the group. Everyone froze, Feyre’s eyes widening in shock as she prepared to scold her son, but before she could say anything, you glanced down at the strand of hair, then at Nyx’s face—his expression a mix of confusion and guilt.

Cassian, sitting nearby, stiffened, his jaw dropping slightly in disbelief. He loved your long hair—he always said it was one of his favorite things about you. But before anyone could react further, you did something unexpected.

You smiled.

“It’s okay,” you said gently, picking up the scissors from Nyx’s tiny hands, your tone light and calm. “Nyx, do you want to keep cutting?”

Everyone stared at you, wide-eyed, as you handed the scissors back to the little boy with a warm smile. Cassian’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head as you leaned forward, offering your hair to Nyx again. "Go ahead," you encouraged softly. “Just like before.”

Nyx hesitated for a moment, unsure, but at your gentle nod, he snipped again, and then again. Slowly, more curls fell to the floor, and soon, your once long, luscious hair was now uneven and much shorter.

The tension in the room was thick, but you remained calm, determined to turn this into a learning moment. As Nyx’s small hands dropped the scissors, he looked up at you with wide, apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, clearly realizing what he had done.

You smiled warmly at him, picking him up and pulling him into your arms. "Thank you, Nyx," you said softly, ruffling his dark hair as you spoke. "You did a great job! You’d make an amazing hairdresser one day. But," you continued, your tone shifting to a more serious but still gentle one, "it’s really important to ask first before you cut someone’s hair, okay? You have to make sure they’re okay with it. It’s not kind to do it without asking, even if you're trying to help or have fun."

Nyx’s little face scrunched up in thought, his lips pouting as he processed what you were saying. “I understand,” he said, his voice small and sincere. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”

You hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his head. "It’s okay, little one. We all make mistakes. And look," you said, pulling back and giving him a playful grin, "I look pretty cool now, right? Do you think I’m still beautiful?”

Nyx’s face lit up, and he nodded enthusiastically. "You’re always beautiful!" he said with the earnestness only a child could have.

Your heart warmed, and you pressed another kiss to his head before setting him down. He toddled back over to Feyre, who gave you a grateful, relieved smile.

Cassian, however, looked utterly devastated. His mouth was still slightly open, his eyes flicking between you and the pile of your hair on the floor. "Your hair," he mumbled, almost whining. "Your long, beautiful hair... it's gone."

You chuckled softly and walked over to him, your uneven haircut bouncing with each step. Cassian reached out to pull you into his lap, his large hands immediately threading through the shortened strands. "I can’t believe you let him cut it," he muttered, his brows furrowed. "Now my hair is longer than yours."

You laughed, running your hand through his longer locks playfully. "I’ll grow it back," you reassured him, leaning into his chest. "But Nyx learned something today. And besides," you teased, looking up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye, "I think I still look good, right?"

Cassian’s eyes softened as he gazed down at you, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "You always look good," he murmured, brushing a thumb along your jawline. “Even with this short hair. But... I might miss the old length.”

You grinned, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. "I’ll grow it back," you promised again, your voice full of warmth.

Rhysand, who had been watching the entire situation unfold with a smirk, shook his head. "You handled that beautifully," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "Much better than I would have."

Feyre laughed softly, relieved that the tension had broken, and Nyx, now back in her lap, looked at you with nothing but adoration. "Thank you for being so patient with him," she added, her eyes sparkling with gratitude. "I think we’ll stick to paper crafts from now on."

As the conversation resumed, the weight of the moment lifted, and the warmth and laughter returned to the room. Cassian’s arms remained securely around you, his chin resting on top of your head as he mumbled something about how he would never let you near scissors again.

But even with your new, uneven haircut, you felt nothing but love and contentment. You had turned a chaotic moment into something positive, and more importantly, Nyx had learned a valuable lesson—and Cassian would just have to live with your short hair for a while.

And judging by the way he kept kissing your temple, it wasn’t so bad after all.

[parkerslatte]

Finding Home || Part One

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: loneliness.

Summary: Azriel never thought he would find someone who loves him. Everyone around him has their own life and family and he feels like he is floating between them with no real purpose. When he meets someone in the rain, everything might begin to change.

Finding Home Masterlist

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

A/N: I might make this into a series if people enjoy it…because I have many ideas.

•••

In his whole life, Azriel just wanted to be loved by someone. Over his five centuries of existence, he has taken plenty of lovers, both females and males. Though to each and every one of the people he had lain with, he never felt any sort of attachment to them. They had never spent the night with him, when he awoke in the morning, the other side of the bed was empty and cold, a clear indication that they had left hours before. Some left a small note thanking him for a good night but most left with no word never to be seen again. 

At the beginning, this did not affect Azriel. He was simply young and looking for a bit of fun. But as time has gone on, the more Azriel longed to wake up next to someone. To have the side of the bed warm and the sound of his love walking about the house. To feel the soft caress of their skin as they fell asleep with each other's arms. Whispers of loving words exchanged before they both drifted to that relaxing, unconscious space only dreaming of one another. 

Azriel longed for that. He longed for a home. He longed for his own family. 

Nyx was nearly ten years old and Feyre was again pregnant with her and Rhys’s second child. Cassian had recently told Azriel that he and Nesta were trying for a child. Azriel was happy for them, elated even. But there was a small stinging pain in his heart. The pain of knowing that his family was moving on with their own lives without him. They each had their own families to care for and worry about. He was no one's priority. 

At Solstice, Azriel was always the one standing on the sidelines. Rhys had Feyre. Cassian and Nesta. Lucien had Elain. Mor had Emerie. Amren had Varien. Every single member of his family had someone that they cared for and would die to protect. Azriel could only wish he had that type of love. 

There was once a time where he thought he and Elain could work out. Three sisters for three brothers, it all made sense in Azriel’s mind. But after that initial lust faded away, Azriel realised how incompatible they were. Their conversations turned stale and awkward and Azriel would always catch her sneaking glances at Lucien. It wasn’t long before Elain began to pursue the youngest Vanserra– leaving Azriel alone once again. 

Currently, Azriel swirled his whisky around in his glass. He hadn’t taken a sip from it as he stood near the door. It was Solstice and all the presents had been exchanged and now everyone was happily sitting and talking, lounging around on the couches and chairs. Azriel was the only one not sitting. His shadows swirled around the room, as they usually did whenever everyone was together. If anything were to attack, Azriel would be the first line of defence. Everyone else had a family or were going to have a family, they had everything to lose– he didn’t. 

There was a pull at the bottom of Azriel’s trouser leg and he glanced down. Elain and Lucien’s one year old daughter sat there smiling up at him. Azriel offered her a smile as one of his shadows caressed her cheek and she let out a delighted giggle. Using his pant leg, she heaved herself from the floor and demanded to be picked up. Azriel’s face clouded over in amusement as he bent down and took the young fae into his arms. 

The girl simply looked around, not used to being up so high. Azriel watched her look of amusement with fondness. Her red hair bright in the dim lighting of the room, and her deep brown eyes wide in wonder. 

“Hycinth?” Elain said as she looked around for her daughter before relaxing once she found her in Azriel’s arms. 

As soon as the young girl heard her mother, she struggled to get out of Azriel’s arms and he let her down without a fuss. She crawled over to her mother and up onto her lap while Lucien watched his daughter fondly. Azriel folded his arms across his chest, his heart feeling like it was being poked by a million pins. Nyx was sleeping with his head resting on Rhys’s. Nesta was sitting in Cassian’s lap, looking so in love with each other that it made Azriel stop breathing. The same went for all of the couples, they had so much love for each other that they could only focus within their small circle. 

None of them even noticed when Azriel slipped out of the house and into the night. 

It was raining when Azriel got outside, his clothes immediately soaked through and his hair was plastered to his forehead. Though he didn’t care in the slightest, he continued to walk through the torrential downpour until he made it to a bench by the park. 

He should have stayed at the house, it would only bring to the surface more questions as to why Azriel was distancing himself from his family. Seeing them altogether was always bittersweet for Azriel. Of course he loved his family, he always would, but seeing them together with their own families and their own lives. Azriel was not sure where he slotted in amongst them anymore. He didn’t have anyone to love. He didn’t have his own family. He was alone. 

The rain continued around him and Azriel didn’t move. The chill of the wind and his soaked clothes only made him colder but he didn’t care. He would stay here all night if he had to, for the rain to wash away everything he had been feeling tonight. Tomorrow he would start with a clean slate, maybe he would feel better about everything tomorrow. Azriel hoped when he woke up everyday that this was the answer. He hoped that he woke up one day and did not care. But Azriel knew that the cycle was always doomed to repeat itself. 

As Azriel was deep within his own thoughts, he failed to notice the rain no longer falling upon him. It fell around him but never on him. He wasn’t broken from his continuous strain of thoughts until he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. 

Azriel’s head snapped in the direction the touch came from, his shadows swirled around his shoulders like snakes preparing to strike. What Azriel didn’t expect was a female holding an umbrella over his head, staging at him with concern. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. “It’s just…you’ve been sitting here for an hour. I walked past earlier to buy some bread and you were here and I’m on my way home now and you are still here. I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Azriel was at a loss for words. Anything that he could say was lost on the tip of his tongue. Articulating his feelings was never his strong point. 

“It’s raining a lot,” the female said, trying to have a conversation. “It seems to be raining a lot more recently. Have you noticed?”

“I have noticed,” Azriel muttered.

“So he does speak,” the female said, a small smile gracing her features. 

Azriel met her eyes, and for some reason, he felt himself smiling back. It was probably barely noticeable to her but to him, the feeling felt foreign. 

“So,” the female said, taking a seat on the bench next to Azriel. “Are you okay?”

With a heavy sigh, Azriel answered, “No, actually. I’m not. It’s Solstice, I should be spending it with my family but I’m sitting out here in the rain alone.” Azriel couldn’t stop the words freely flowing from his mouth. “I tried to enjoy myself, I really did. But all of them each have someone they love to celebrate with. They each have someone to go home with and have their own celebration. They have children or are going to have children and I’m just there by myself. I just constantly feel so–”

“Alone?” the female cut in.

Azriel’s gaze met hers and she held a sympathetic expression on her face. “Yes. I feel alone. And I don’t even know why I am telling you this. I don’t even know you.”

The female shrugged. “Sometimes it's good to get things off your chest, even if it's someone you don’t know. It can sometimes be bad to keep everything bottled up.”

Azriel relaxed his shoulders the smallest amount. “I do feel slightly better after getting that off my chest.”

The female smiled brightly. It somehow lit up the darkness around them. “I’m glad I could help you relieve some tension you are holding in those shoulders. I’m Y/N by the way.”

“Y/N,” Azriel repeated her name. It felt right coming from his mouth. “I’m Azriel.”

Y/N looked away sheepishly. “I did have an idea of who you are.”

“Oh,” Azriel replied, feeling slightly disappointed. 

“I didn’t know when I first walked over here,” Y/N said. “I only realised when one of your shadows did this.”

Y/N held up her arm and one of Azriel’s shadows lightly caressed her wrist. Azriel’s eyes widened. 

“I’m so sorry,” Azriel replied, reeling in all of his shadows. “They don’t normally do that.”

Y/N chuckled slightly and it was a melodic sound that cut through the air. “It’s okay.”

Azriel nodded before he looked down at the ground. “So, why are you out on Solstice?”

Y/N offered him a tight lipped smile. “Well, my friends all have their own large families to spend Solstice with. I was invited to a few of their houses but decided to stay home and have a night to myself. I’m only out because I needed to pick up some bread because I wanted to make a sandwich.”

“Are you not lonely?” Azriel asked the question before he could even stop himself.

Y/N shook her head. “Not anymore. At first I was, I mean when your friends start moving on without you, everything seems to change so fast. All of their time was taken up by their children and partner. But as time went on, I began to get used to it and realise that I’m not lonely as I have people around me that love me and support me. I am simply choosing to be alone right now,” Y/N said. “And I’m glad I did, because I wouldn’t have bumped into you. Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome.”

Azriel flushed and looked down at his feet, not expecting the compliment. Y/N simply laughed. That melodic tone once again cutting through the air.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” Y/N asked. “I can make us sandwiches?”

Azriel knew his answer immediately but took a moment to answer as if he was contemplating the decision. He didn’t want to look too eager. “I would like that.”

Y/N smiled brightly. “Come on then! The sooner we get there, the sooner I can change into some dry clothes.”

Azriel looked at her and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. While she had been shielding him with her umbrella, she hadn’t held it above herself, causing her clothes to soak through, much like Azriel’s.

“Take the umbrella back,” Azriel said, pushing her hand away that was clutching the umbrella.

“No,” Y/N said stubbornly and grabbed Azriel’s arm and forced the umbrella into his hand and folded her arms across her chest. “You take it and keep hold of it until we get to my apartment. Now come on.”

Azriel followed her and fell into pace next to her. Even though she was putting on a determined face, Azriel could see through the facade as she shivered as the cold rain poured down upon her. Stretching one of his wings, Azriel lifted it until it shielded her from the rain the best he could. Y/N looked up at him in surprise, her shivering ceasing the smallest amount as his wing blocked out the wind. 

Y/N smiled at him as she hesitantly wrapped her hand around his arm. “You are getting my most amazing sandwich for that.”

A full smile bloomed on Azriel’s face as he walked with Y/N to her apartment. Maybe he didn’t need to be so alone after all.

[elrielffs]

Honestly, I don't understand how antis think Azriel wanting to sex with elain means they are endgame,

Like are they forgetting Azriel also wanted mor sexually to the point that Feyre could see hunger in his eyes when Mor wore the white dress,

But there is only one woman who caused a spark in his chest who made him unconsciously smile and has her image glowing in his heart.

Its honestly obvious who is endgame.

People just hate Gwyneth Berdara because she is the only one who could make the Coldest shadow singer and spy master of the Night Court whose face is known to be a cold mask perfect ever since he was a child feel a spark in his chest, could make him smile unconsciously while thinking of her bright eyes and smile.

They hate her because it is only her image that buried deep in his heart where it glows quietly and which he referred to as a thing of secret, lovely beauty.

There will always be an image of her glowing in his chest no matter what.

Like I am sorry I would never want a man who has an image of someone else glowing his chest.

And then I see why some people in the fandom loath her. or try to downplay everything she does.

Yeah

it's

only

cause

they

want

to

fuck.

And that's not even all their scenes and none from the BC or the other foreshadowing.

I'll take all this over a spark any day. Especially a spark that was used between:

Aelin and Lorcan

Tamlin and Feyre

Cassain x Nyx's Baby Wings

And not used in other couples.

Babes, we ship Elriel cause it's in the books, not because we hate one woman. We are not the same.

Also they do want to fuck to each other and not the red heads and that's normally a requisite of being attracted to someone.

[glossamerfaerie]

Hear me out… Nyx’s first word is Nesta (or to be more precise: “Nes” while pointing at her and giggling). Do I think this will happen in canon? No way in hell; it’s probably something boring like “Ma” or “Dada” in a future bonus chapter (just kidding… or am I? Let’s face it, this screams bonus chapter material).

I’m into this headcanon for the pure CHAOS and comedy of it all. Rhys is incandescent with fury but forced to be outwardly happy around Nyx, praising his son for his first word. Feyre is a little disappointed but too thrilled with how intelligent her baby is (idk maybe he starts speaking two months ahead of schedule or something). Cassian starts chanting “Cas” at the baby to no avail — Nyx just stares at him blankly and repeats “Nes” confusedly again. Elain smiles and says that it’s only fitting considering how Aunty Nesta was responsible for Nyx’s safe delivery.

Azriel stays quiet and is the only person to hear Rhys mutter that maybe Nyx was trying to say his own name and that baby X’s sound like S’s. Right then, Nyx screams “Nes!!!” again and toddles into Nesta’s arms. Azriel fails to keep a straight face at Rhys’s quiet rage while Feyre is furiously lecturing her mate via mindspeak. Amren and Mor are sipping on glasses of wine, mentally promising themselves to continue a child-free existence for the rest of eternity.

Bonus: Nesta is shocked but privately very gratified. She hasn’t been trying to teach Nyx to say her name, unlike some members of the Inner Circle. But she takes this memory and holds it close to her heart for the rest of her life. 🥹

(I do not think any of this actually happens, but the Nyx vs Nes sound similarity is too good to ignore. It SHOULD be canon. Think of the comedy, Sarah!!!)

[readychilledwine]

Broken

Part two- Nyx and Aelia have spent the past 4 months in the Winter Court, and ever the clever son, Nyx has noticed the decline in his mother's health despite the shields and masks she wears, leading him to call in for help.

Warnings - alcohol use, indications to poor mental health and an illusion to a panic attack, the mention of child death (we all knew that'd come up between Rhys and a winter court OC), mentioned SA

Part One Part Three

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Nyx hated The Winter Court. 

He hated the constant politics. 

He hated the constant cold calculated looks his uncle gave him when he'd walk into a room. As if he was studying him, evaluating him, deciding what to do with him.

He hated how loud his aunt was, especially when Mor was around.

Nyx missed home. He allowed the shadow Azriel had following him to weave between his fingers before it  moved to caress his cheek. It had been four months. He knew he had come willingly, made this choice willingly, but he missed his family, he missed the smell of the Sindra, he missed training with Cassian and Azriel.

To his biggest surprise, though, he missed his dad. He missed going into his dad's office, curling up on the couch as Rhysand worked, only to wake up to his head in his lap as his father drank whiskey with his uncles and they spoke quietly. He missed the feeling of his dad's constant presence in his mind, tugging when he'd start doing something he shouldn't be. He missed his voice as they would go over lessons for the 100th time to ensure Nyx was ready to take over his court.

He knew his mom missed his dad, too. He had been watching her bury herself into the Winter Court, helping his Uncle with his high lord duties. She hardly ate, slept, relaxed. She smiled constantly for the fae of the court at the countless dinners and parties being thrown, but it never reached her eyes. 

She is stuck in a state of mourning. You will understand some day when you love someone and they hurt you that deeply, Kal had told Nyx gently. Nyx knew his mother loved his father, that she still did. That she would have given anything to any God willing to make a deal with her to switch places with him. He could hear her crying late at night sometimes or whispering his name when he'd sneak into her room to hold her.

They couldn't stay here, not with this gaping wound in desperate need of repair. He moved inside, sitting at the desk, and took a pen into his hand. He wrote on the parchment before using magic to send it. Then he just prayed. He prayed to the Mother that his mom would forgive him for the one sentence message.

Dad, send Uncle Az.

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Rhysand was miserable. 

He lifted the heavy glass to his lips, drinking the whiskey he had picked for the night in large gulps instead of soft smooth sips.

He missed his wife and son. His wife ran through his mind day and night. The scent of her soft snow hair. The feeling of her skin under his fingertips. The intoxication of her soft plush lips on his. He missed the song that was Nyx's laughter as he'd watch Cassian or Azriel spar him. He missed catching his son in the kitchens late at night, flirting with the shadow wraith twins. He missed his soft snores as he'd fall asleep in the office.

He realized quickly Feyre would never fill the void Aelia and Nyx had left him with and that they were not compatible. Feyre would have been better matched for Cassian or Lucien. A male whose ambitions weren't based on pressure, politics, and responsibility, but instead on freedom, adventure, and embetterment. A male whose job would have allowed her to travel, help fae in need, and see the world.

He was watching that silently start. The longing stares between her and Cassian. The playful banter and constant flirtation. The way Cassian was healing her through the one thing she had been begging for. Rhys sighed heavily. His brother was clearly falling for his mate, and his mate in turn was falling for Cassian. And the part that had his jaw clenching was how little he cared. He had told Cassian it was fine, to pursue her, to court her. He truly did not care. 

Especially when he saw how happy they were. In the month since she'd be rescued, they were constantly together. Her curled into Cass' side, her in his room, him in hers. The two were inseparable.

The soft thud of paper landing near him, pulling him from his thoughts and making him groan and roll his eyes. He used a tendril of darkness to pull the letter to him. The handwriting sobered him immediately. He was calling for Azriel as he read it over and over. 

"If I have to carry you to your room again, Rhys, I swear-"

"Nyx wants you to come to Winter." Azriel rose a singular brow, having just finished writing notes back and forth to Aelia. He read the note from the young heir before sending shadows to check on his high lady. "Azriel, please."

"She just told me she was fine, Rhys. I have the shadows checking in case she was lying. Kallias has her distracting herself with work. Viv is constantly taking her shopping. Her and Nyx are exploring-"

"No." Rhysand interrupted softly. "I can feel something is wrong, Azriel. I have been able to feel it for months now, and you and Cassian have ignored me at every turn. Go. Get. My. Son."

Azriel's jaw twitched and his eyes met Rhysands. "Is that an order, brother?" The blow landed exactly as the spymaster had intended. "What would you like me to say to my High Lady as I kidnap her child?"

Rhys squeezed his eyes shut. "He's asking for you to go the-"

"But not to be brought home," Azriel interrupted. "I will go there on his request and speak with him and Aelia. I will not force them to come home, Rhys."

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Aelia held Nyx's hand as they walked through the Mountain House. She was ignoring the steady ache in her heart by showing her son the magic of this side of his heritage. Kallias was walking ahead of them, happy to lead his nephew down the halls of their past family members and the Court leaders.

Nyx, to his credit, was taking notes, nodding to his uncle on ways Winter did truly have their taxation, barter and trade, and armies set on very successful , profitable, and mutually beneficial systems. He was asking Kal questions that had the high lord beaming with pride, and his mother smiling fondly as she listened.

It was almost enough for her to ignore the growing hole her husband had left. Rhysand haunted her. He was her dreams, her nightmares, her day fantasies. She could hear his voice in her ear, praising her as she did a task as simple as brushing her hair instead of wallowing.

She had even awoken one night from a nightmare, only to be in a dream where he was right there, shushing her gently as she whispered what she had conjured in her own mind to him. She confided in Viv one day she could hear his heartbeat in the dead of night. Viv had chalked it up to her missing him, to her mind playing tricks on her to comfort her. Aelia could have swore she woke up to the soft scent of citrus and sea fading in her room almost every morning, though.

Aelia was brought back to reality as she ran into her brother's back. Kal had gone silent and stopped walking. The high lord's shoulders grew stiff as he sniffed the air. "Did you call for Azriel?" Aelia shook her head before turning to Nyx. 

Guilt was etched into his perfect face. Blue siphoned hands turned the heir, wrapping him in a tight hug as Aelia backed away to be closer to her brother. "Are you okay?" Azriel's voice was muffled by his nephew's hair. Nyx nodded quickly, hands fisting Az's armor like he was feeling safety for the first time in years.

Aelia and Azriel held eye contact, blue eyes meeting hazel. He knew she was upset by the flick of emotion that ran through the icy coloring. She wasn't allowing the sense of betrayal to set in yet. She wasn't allowing herself to hurt at her brother in law's sudden and unasked for appearance.

Kallias broke the silence of the halls. "There are laws, Shadowsinger, regarding outside court visitations. Laws your high lord pushed for. Did you forget them or does the Night Court find itself above those laws we all signed and put in place?" His tone was cold, hiding how bothered he was to have the male that stood in a place of honor next to the High Lord of Night in his home. 

"I called for him," Nyx felt small with the frozen expression Kal had finally stopped wearing around him met his skin again. "I missed him." A truth and a lie, mixed together perfectly like Azriel had taught him. 

Aelia looked between Kal and Azriel. A look of anger graced her brother's face, and a look of conflict was on Azriel's. "I will deal with it," she offered before attempting to move to the Illyrian. A hand shot out, grabbing her bicep and pulling her back into her older brother's chest. 

"Nyx, come here," the tone of his voice was desperate. "Please. I cannot protect you if you go without him. I will explain everything lat-"

"You will fill his head with lies, you mean?" Azriel interrupted, putting Nyx behind him. "It was not him." Azriel held a scarred hand to Aelia. "Sister, come. I just need a few moments of your time."

The grip on her bicep tightened. "Aelia," her brother began softly, "Do you remember me telling you about the children slaughtered under Amarantha's orders?" Azriel growled loudly, shadows beginning to pose around his shoulders like snakes waiting to strike. "Your husband was her executioner."

The hallway became still. Nyx felt himself stop breathing, Aelia stood there in shock. Azriel closed his eyes slowly. The only noises between the four of them was the soft sound of the Lady of Night's breath becoming faster. The sound of it reaching an uneven state as she shook her head at the accusation. Her chest grew painfully tight as thousands of thoughts boomeranged.

Rhys would never, her mind screamed. He'd never. "No," she said. "No. No. No. No. No." She felt Kal lowering her to the ground before the soft pleads became full on screams. Azriel and Nyx were still, watching as she began crying. Begging Kal to tell her that he was lying. 

Azriel watched silently, his grip on Nyx never faltering. "Take me home," the heir's voice was devoid of emotion. "Take me home so I can get the truth from him."  Shadows surrounded the two of them as guards came and rushed to the siblings sitting on the wooden floor of the home.

The last thing Azriel saw was his high lady, a female he loved more than anything, weakly reaching her hand to him and her son with a look of fear etched into her face.

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Nyx was out of Azriel's arms in seconds, prowling towards Rhysand's office where the spymaster knew he and Cassian were waiting. 

The heir didn't knock, he didn't open the doors gently. He slammed them open, splintering the wood as an intense stare down started between him and his father.

"Did you do it?" The look of confusion on Rhysand's face made the heir angrier. "Did you fucking do it?!"

Cassian stood, moving to his nephew and trying to calm him in whispered sentences. "Nyx, he can't give you answers if he doesn't know what he's answering."

Nyx shrugged out of Cassian's grasp. "Did you kill the children in the Winter Court?" Rhysand sighed heavily, sitting back down in his chair and motioning for his son to sit. "I will stand if it's all the same to you, High Lord." 

A visible flinch graced Rhysand's normally stone face. "No, I did not harm them. I had no part in that. Please sit down so I can explain my side of things."

Nyx shook his head. "So she had another one of your kind down there?" He said it like it was a slur, like his father had a disease. "Or you just sat there licking her cunt while she used your powers-"

The High lord stood, hand slamming down on the desk as the room grew cold and dark. It was a reminder to Nyx of his father's power, of the command and control Rhysand could quickly take over a room. "I had NO PART in what that bitch did, Nyx. I was trapped in her bed like I was no more than a toy to her, and the only reason I ever entered her bed was to protect you and your mother." His voice broke, anger and frustration turning into heartbreak and grief. "I only ever wanted to protect my family." 

Nyx had never witnessed his father crying. His mother? Yes. The soft daughter of Winter cried frequently with her son present. She'd cry in sadness, anger, stress. She'd cry when she was overwhelmed by joy and love. Seeing his father now, tears welling his eyes, hands shaking as he tried to hold in and control his emotions, had Nyx standing in place with his eyes wide. "Everything I did, I did because I love you, Nyx. Because I love your mother. Because I love Cassian, Azriel, Amren, and Mor. I did it because I love this Court, our home."

Rhys looked up, taking a few deep breaths before he continued. "I never would have harmed a child, Nyx. Because if I had, I would have only pictured you. I would have sooner fed myself to whatever beasts Amarantha would have allowed me to than harm a child when you were all I thought about every day down there. The guilt of not being able to stop what happened eats me alive every day. I think about those families every day, and how that could have been you."

Nyx took a tentative step towards his dad. "Dad-"

"If you do not believe me it's fine. But do not sit there and act like I was not as trapped as everyone else was. Do not sit there and ac-"

"Daddy, I believe you."  That simple sentence. Those 4 words. That was all it took for Rhys and Nyx to meet the distance between each other, embracing tightly and the father and son cried together. "I believe you." He whispered again. "I want to be home. With you. With momma."

Rhys pulled away nodding before kissing his son's forehead. "I want that too, Nyx. I want you two home more than I can put into words." Rhys wiped tears from his son's face, studying it as if he was looking into a mirror. "We will get there, little star."

"Don't give up on momma, please." The break in Nyx's voice caused a phantom tug to come from a string Rhysand only wished was attached to his heart.

He pulled Nyx back to him, hand finding the back of his son's raven curls. "Never. I will never give up on her, on you, or on us." Nyx felt his eyes flutter shut, breathing in his father's scent deeply. "You two are all I've ever wanted, all I ever dreamed about. I will wait a thousand years if that's what it takes for her to come home to me."

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Aelia woke up in a dark room, the windows open and curtains drawn to allow her to watch the fresh snow falling gently and reflecting the lights below like glitter. 

She was completely alone, at least she thought, as she stood and walked to the vanity on unstable legs.  She brushed her hair quickly, undoing the braids the healers had not, and removed the soft makeup she had worn to countless meetings that day. 

The sparkling blue gown had grown heavy on her frame, and she stood again, walking to grab something more comfortable to sleep in.

She was numb. She felt like she had bathed in the frozen rivers of this Court. Her husband stood accused of slaughtering innocent faelings. Her son had left with the male who'd promised her their safety. She reached behind herself, struggling to get to the laces of her corset before sighing and giving up. 

Aelia allowed herself to fall onto the couch in the sitting area, crying softly. It wasn't until familiar hands ran up her arms and fingers danced between her shoulder blades that she bothered looking up from the pillow she was crying into.

"I already shielded the room. No one will come if you scream. We need to talk." He had her trapped, his own body blocking her ability to get up.

She was no match magically or physically for Rhys. She didn't respond as he began to unlace her dress. "I was wondering where that sweater went, darling. I should have known my wife would have stolen it." He chuckled lightly watching as she sighed in relief as he unlaced that last row of strings. "I do not like it when they dress you so tightly you cannot breathe. You would be perfection in a potato sack. I have never understood the obsession with corseting you this tightly."

He moved, allowing her to sit up and put some distance between them."I did not do it, Aelia." He finally said as she stood to remove the dress. Her back was to him, but his eyes still trailed the lean muscles of her body and every inch of her pale skin. "I swear on my life, and Velaris itself, I had no part in that." 

Aelia felt her brows go up. "You would put it in a vow to me?" She turned to Rhysand, not hiding a single inch of herself from him. "You would swear to me in the old magic you did not kill those children?"

Rhysand's eyes never left her face, refusing to take the bait she was using. "I would." His tone left no room for argument. It was a sentence that sealed the conversation with finality. "I would allow that bargain to mark you in plain sight if I had to." Another statement that made her eyebrows raise. He had not allowed a single promise or bargain to touch her skin in visible areas before. 

"You are so beautiful," he finally said into the silence. "I forgot how stunning you are in the light of this court, my precious snowflake." Her cheeks heated at his words. He moved to her, hands finding her face as he tilted her gaze to him. "I have never found a single female or male I find more ethereal than you, Aelia."

She remembered now why she had fallen for Rhys so quickly. It wasn't the golden words, the strength of his muscles, the beauty of his perfectly carved face. 

It was his eyes. That deep blue that leaned to a soft violet in the right lighting. She could lose herself in them, drown in them like the Oceans of Summer. She knew at all times, even if that mask of indifference and cruelty was on, she alone could look into his eyes and find comfort in them, she could find the truth in them.

And right now, he wasn't lying. 

Her own hands moved to his chest as silence fell between the two. Her fingers brushed over the expensive fabric of his jacket before grabbing the lapels and crossing a line she had promised herself she wouldn't when they reunited.

Aelia pulled Rhysand down to her, locking his lips with hers and leaning further into his touch. He joined without hesitation, and quickly took control of the kiss. He tilted her head more to give him better access. He groaned at the taste of her as her lips parted enough for his tongue to swipe across hers. The hands on her face moved, one finding her waist, the other tangling into that snow white hair. 

It was everything they had both dreamed of for 50 years now. Passionate. Safe. Gentle. Years of longing poured into that kiss. She gripped his jacket harder, not wanting to take it any further than he'd allow, but refusing to let go. 

He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers as his hand refound her face. "When you are ready, I want you to come home. I will take you in the dead of night. Your brother already wants my head ." Aelia nodded, quickly kissing him again. "The bond is rejected. I am getting help. You need to know I never wanted anyone besides you, Aelia Darling." She nodded again, having already known that truth deep down inside. "You are my salvation, Aelia."

Rhys kissed her this time, backing her up to the bed and gently laying her down. They were looking at each other, their bodies softly illuminated by the dying faelight. "Rhys, we don't-" 

"I want to." He kissed her again. "Let me show you how much I love you."

Tag list:

@we-were-beautiful

@daedriclys

[b0xerdancer-writes]

It Wasn't Supposed To Happen Like This Part 5

Eris x Rhy's Sister! Reader

Summary: Eris used to be attached at the hip to Rhysand’s younger sister. Now that he has taken over as High Lord of the Autumn Court, his father’s old high table have been pressuring him to take a wife, he comes up with the brilliant lie that he's already courting someone and has been for several years now. Eris asks Rhysand’s little sister, the best way to get away with it and make it believable, to fake court her.

Warnings: Elain and Mor slander, cussing 18+, some nsfw lean but no sex scenes yet, alcohol, parental abuse, death, murder, arguing. Not proofread.

Trope/Prompt: Fake Dating

Word Count: 4,570

Notes: Rhys and reader talk things out, Lucien is a soft boy and gives the best hugs. Shit starts getting real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had only ever been in Rhys’s office a handful of times since he took over after dad. He had remodeled it, gotten rid of any feeling that father had left in that room.  It felt so much colder to me in here now, it sent chills up my spine as I sat in the padded leather chair. The room was empty around me save for my bag that housed my book from earlier and quiet, eerily quiet that had me raking my eyes across every shelf, every nook, and every cranny in observation. 

Eventually the door creaked open and Rhys entered with a tray of cookies in one hand, I could hear the giggles before I saw him. Small pale hands wrapped around Rhys knee as  he tried to shoo Nyx off while he ‘had to deal with some work stuff’. Eventually the child relented, his wide eyes locking with mine like a deer in the headlights; before Rhys handed him half of a cookie and he scampered off.

I had always been distant with my family, it had started with our parents. Rhys favored our mother and saw our father as a bad person but it was the opposite with me, I favored our father and our mother despised me even threatened to clip my wings herself if it would get me out of her hair; I had ran to Rhys crying that night and he didn't believe me but when I told father the yelling within the house could be heard in every room. Rhys’s visits had become scarcer and scarcer after that, then he was sent to Windhaven and mother accompanied him. 

Then into the picture came Cassian and Azriel. I had nothing against them in the long run but they seemed to follow Rhys’s ideology too closely. They saw me as an expansion of my father, and oh how Rhys had told them about him but that I wasn't nearly as bad just needed a steer in the right direction. The only person who had seemed to see me as more than a daddy’s girl at this point was Eris, everytime father and I would show up in Autumn Court it was like a breath of fresh air and he just accepted me as I was. Eris had put his all into learning my interests and favorites, making sure he remembered them and surprising me with little things that I had mentioned here or there to him. 

It went downhill after the death of my mother and sister. I had never met my sister. At that point father insisted she and mother stay in Windhaven and after she reached a certain age then he would bring them to Velaris. We had been in Autumn when father got the news, I remembered the panic as Eris and I rushed back up to the Forest House, we had barely stepped through the gardens archway when father pulled me from Eris’s grasp; I had twisted my ankle in the rush and Eris was steadying me, I barely got the goodbye out of my mouth before we were winnowing. 

I had been to Windhaven only once or twice before my sister's birth. Father had warned me to stay away from it as most of them were brutes and that someone as gentle as I was had no business being there. I felt the chill before I saw the cause of it, as we appeared in windhaven the sight of a torn up cabin greeted us. Rhys was collapsed in the snow on his knees, Cassian and Azriel either side trying to comfort him but grieving themselves. At father’s appearance the boys stilled and tensed either side of Rhys, Rhys looked up at father’s approaching steps. My own smaller ones behind his, blood was splattered on the snow around the entrance and on Rhys’s hands. The grief in my brother's eyes and the blood was enough for me to guess what had happened to a degree. They were dead, murdered I surmised by the violence around me. Father held his hand out in a motion I knew meant to stop and stay where I was, and he pushed through the cabin door; the smell of death and iron was thick but disappeared as soon as the door closed. All three males shot me a look of sympathy and pain as I placed my own hand on Rhys with a small sad smile meant to comfort him in my own way. 

I had hated to admit it to myself but I had accepted her death a long time before it had happened. I had accepted it the night she had threatened to rip my wings from me, she had bruised my shoulders with the strength of her grasp as she shook me and screamed at me. The day she moved back to Windhaven was a relief to me, it no longer felt like walking on eggshells, but I would never tell Rhys that.

Father came out of the cabin tense, it must have been brutal whatever it was. To others the look would seem incredibly cold, and I would bet Rhys thought that as well but to me I knew what was happening behind his cold exterior. He was accepting grief, he  might not have loved her nowadays but he had wanted to once, then she simply saw him as a captor and never gave him a real chance and that she was simply doing her duty to her high lord, and had only ever been cold to him. He had told me that late one night after we returned from Autumn Court, a night the bond in my chest ached so desperately I had ended up crying in his arms. 

Father steeled himself for a moment, but yet patted Rhys’s shoulder as he walked by towards where other illyrians had started gathering including the camp lord. He exchanged words with them before he nodded at them and shook hands with the camp lord.  A few minutes passed before he was pulling Rhys to his feet with a simple shoulder pat and with a nod he pulled me into his side and we were winnowing back to Velaris. I didn’t hear anything else about Windhaven, Rhys, or mother for a while after that.

Before I knew it, my father was disappearing into the underground portion of our court to discuss business with his brother.  It was nearly a month after mother’s death before we visited Autumn Court again, when we finally did and I was meeting with father in the living room, He was looking at me sadly even though I was ecstatic  if I had done my math correctly it would be announced today that Eris and I were to be engaged and wed soon after that. I had simply summed up the sadness in his eyes as the fact he was sad he would be letting me go, the grief of a father losing his daughter to a husband. I could not have been further from correct.

I should have sensed something was off when Eris didn't greet me as excitedly. Instead this day would be full of tears and my stunned silence until I made it home. Eris had cried in my lap as he told me and begged me not to hate him or leave him. I had known about his fathers abuse growing rapidly with every one of his brothers that had been born. I had made a deal with him then and there that I would never be able to hate him, that I would never leave him alone, and that I would always be there. 

When we had winnowed back into the house, all I did was simply sink to the floor as the sobs began to wash over me. Father had wrapped me in his arms and sat on the floor with me rocking, apologizing repeatedly begging me to forgive him. He had sobbed into my hair as he held me that he couldn't lose me too and that though I had every right to hate him that he'd figure out some way to make it up to me. It would never return to the way it had been now that Mor was in the picture.

It had been a rough night after that, the pain in my chest made it hard to sleep, so I had gone down to warm some tea and honey to dull the ache and lul me back to sleep. Instead as I rounded the corner into the living room I was greeted by the sight of Rhys and father touching foreheads, father had one hand wrapped around the back of Rhys’s head pulling him to him. They had both looked up as I entered, they were dressed in fighting leathers black as the inky sky outside. Father had simply beckoned me over and lifted my head by my chin with a sad smile, I had learned that meant something isn't sitting right with him, something was making him anxious. He mentioned they would be back in the early hours of the morning and patted me on the shoulder as Rhys and him disappeared into the world around them as they winnowed, it left a smell like fresh roses. I had understood what was going on without him saying anything, he was going to get revenge for his mate. A pit quickly grew in my stomach, as I stirred the honey into my mug of tea. 

I had stayed up for them that night, anything past Rhys showing back up alone, the obvious signs and scent of becoming Highlord clung to him, was a massive blur. Blood clung to him, and he had given me a sad look and shook his head, I had screamed and sobbed, Rhys had held me there silent and covered in blood as I cried, like he had cried for mother. 

I had become a loner after that, Azriel and Cassian moved into the house, it wasn't as quiet anymore but it had stopped feeling like home that night. Rhys updated the wards around the house, no more winnowing in or out anymore, and said it was for protection. Shortly after that Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys were dragging Mor into the house as she bled out, the scent of autumn clung to her skin.  I had rushed past them out towards the balcony, manifesting my wings to rush down to Velaris so I could winnow to the Autumn Court, to mine and Eris’s spot. I had comforted Eris that day, rage bubbling just under my skin.

I had become bitter with Mor since I had heard the lie she told, since the second she began slandering my mate. I grew closer with Azriel, and Cassian slowly yet surely till I could consider them brothers myself. I couldn't remember when we picked up Amren along the way, but she made life in the house more bearable. Then Amarantha came and I lost my brother for 50 years. I had bought an apartment after a week of hearing Mor bitch at every dinner, after a week of Cassian and Azriel being distant and emotionally unavailable. I hadn’t been at the house  when he showed up murmuring about his mate, I hadn’t even known till the next day when he showed up at my door murmuring about how I moved but he needed me and was asking me to move back into the house; I sold the apartment without a second thought and was back into my old room, Mor was still everywhere so I opted to stay in my room. 

The next few years of my life seemed to rush by, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain joining our circle, well Rhys’s circle. At the beginning I had gotten along with feyre well, and I was still thankful to her for rekindling the flame in my brother but when Elain had treated Lucien the way she did I had snapped at her, I still saw Lucien as the shy young male that hid behind Eris’s legs when he first introduced us. My breaking point with Elain was when Lucien returned from a rough time in Spring and needed a good hug; I had pulled him into one and Elain, despite openly confessing she wanted nothing to do with him and clinging onto Azriel’s arm, had made a comment about how I must have been desperate to go after a male with a mate. It was after she had seen me and Azriel laughing both sweaty and laying on the floor by the training ring and had made a comment about how Azriel was taken and that I needed to stop trying to whore myself out to him.  Azriel had shot her a look of surprise at her answer, and had defended me in saying that wasn't what was happening but shortly after that I stopped training with them entirely. 

Lucien and I had gotten our own apartment shortly after, it had been my idea due to the suffocating feeling the House of the Wind had become anymore, he agreed since he was looking into getting one himself anyways. Elain shot me a dirty look anytime I was in the same room as her nowadays, but wouldnt say a thing to me after I yelled back at her and called her some not so pleasant things. Nesta had completely stopped talking with me after that, and Feyre rarely did anymore unless it was on Rhys’s behalf or on business. Needless to say that due to that strain, I had never been close with my nephew and had only seen him a handful of times since his birth.

I was shaken from my thoughts as Rhys held a cookie out to me, the promise ring on my hand glinting as I reached to take it. Rhys pulled the cookie back, dropping it onto the tray as he grabbed my hand from the air. He turned my hand every which way to observe the ring. 

“Eris really out did himself here really.” It was meant to be under his breath but the tone it came out in sounded poisonous. 

I pulled my hand back from his quickly. “Yes he did, is there a problem with it brother? I agreed to help him.” I’ll admit it came out as a hiss.

Rhys lifted his hands into the air in surrender. “Woah, woah, sorry didn't mean it to sound like that. Just made me realize how desperate he really is.”

“He's trying to reform his court Rhys! He might have to take a few more steps to do so than you did, but you did the same thing when you took over after father died.” A low blow admittedly but it worked.

“Sorry, you're right. I just wanted to check where you are standing on all of this. It's a big ask of you.” His voice was calm,his voice he used for business, void of emotion. He sat the cookies on his desk and took a seat in his chair opposite me.

“He told you I agreed, So you know where I stand. He has always been a close friend to me, if he needs my help why would I tell him no.” He didn’t need to know the whole truth.

Rhys took a deep breath in and dropped his head into his hands. “Your right, you two have always been close. I just thought tensions might be high after your blow up at Rita’s.”

My blow up?

My.

Blow.

Up?

I growled and stood quickly slamming my hands onto his desk and he leaned back in his chair with a flinch as he looked up at me. “My Blow Up? Rhysand. It was you who allowed them to speak to him like that. Do you believe my judgment to be so flawed that I can't decide who I trust with MY well-being?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, just you went off on everyone at that table. Including Mor, and she deserves your anger least, it was him who let her come into harm's way.”

I saw red for a second as the growl rumbled in my chest and I slammed my talons into his mental shield and he hissed at the contact. “Rhysand, mother above, you are the daftest fucking male I know. To fucking high on your horse to realize you are no fucking better than him. None of you are. Do you even know the truth behind what happened to those two? I guarantee you don't because if so you would be giving Cassian looks of pity, not Mor.”

Rhys slammed his own hands palm down on his desk and stood up, looking down on me to try and intimidate me into calm. “No better than he is? Please that male is nothing but his father’s son. Why would I give Cassian looks of pity? Because Mor used him? We all know that.”

His talons scraped along my shield but I didn't even wince, one thing father had made sure I was thoroughly trained on was daemati powers, from the second the power had manifested in me. It was one subject I was confident I had a one up on Rhys in.

I scoffed loudly, a bitter laugh falling from my mouth as I raked my talons across his shield again, a warning and a reminder. “You absolute fucking hypocrite Rhysand. Nothing but his father’s son? Look in the fucking mirror, or the fucking ouroboros for all I care and you will see you are the exact same. Didn’t you make a whole point when you became high lord, especially with the Court of Nightmares actually, that you were just as cold as you said father was? Did you not step back and put Feyre on display under the mountain like how Mor was on display just to save you and everyone here?”

He flinched but knew I was right so even though he opened his mouth to rebuttal he didn't push through when I sunk my talons into his shield cracking it. “No. You don't get to speak hypocrite. Mor has you all in her fucking pocket in regards to that damn story,” I shoved my wrist in his face, the butterfly tattoo on display. “I made a damn bargain with her when she realized I knew, I told her she has to come clean to you all and especially Cassian, and no I will not explain why it is not my place to tell that story, soon in exchange she promised that she will no longer be slandering Eris and if she catches any of you slandering him she is to shut it down.”

His eyes widened as he looked at the wine red butterfly. “You're his mate. Aren’t you?” His voice was barely audible but I had caught it still.

“How?” My eyes widened, and my talons slipped from their grasp.

“You defend him so viciously, and without a single thought or doubt. You tear down anyone who seeks to tear him down, even if it puts yourself at risk to be hurt. Like I do with Feyre now, or Cassian with Nesta.”

I was stunned into silence. Was I really that obvious?

“That book you were reading, about soulmates and the likeness, you were reading it about him I assume? He doesn't know, does he?”He whispered it, his own eyes still wide. I felt his talons tap on my shield asking to be let in, and I pushed back against him in refusal.

“Stay out of my head Rhys.” I hissed. “When did you realize?” I couldn’t have been that obvious, could I? Both Rhys and Lucien had figured it out within 2 days of me and Eris being back around each other.

“Just now, honestly, I just pieced it together. When you mentioned Feyre and I realized if I had seen all those eyes on her now, I would have reacted the same way as you.” His voice softened as he spoke, as the reality hit him. “How long have you known you were his mate?”

“Since we were 12.” I mumbled and looked down.

“Oh. By the mother, that's why you were always so violent towards Mor. Cauldron we were all so blind to the reason behind your rage. I’m sorry.” He sat down and I felt him pull back out of my mind completely.

I took a step back from the desk, the backs of my knees touching the leather chair. I met his eyes, disdain and anger in my own eyes. “If only it started there Rhys. Imagine if you had lost Feyre to Tamlin right after you had just gotten her here that first time. Imagine the pain that would have caused you, now imagine that pain gets worse every time you have to walk away from her with an unsolidified bond for over 500 years.” My words were venom to him. 

His eyes found mine and he seemed like he wanted to cry. “I… I couldn’t imagine Moonbeam. I’m sorry, though I know my apology is nothing to aid the pain you have felt for that long.” 

I crossed my arms over myself, retracting into myself. I had gotten my anger out, I just wanted to retire to my apartment now, just wanted to cook dinner in the kitchen with Lucien while we sang whatever songs popped in our heads. “Remember that Rhys, the next time you want to judge him, and you mock me for defending him. You and him are two sides of the same coin. I have defended him for over 500 years, I will defend him for 500 more even if I’m putting myself at risk. No questions asked. I vowed that to him when we were younger; the day we were told he was to marry Mor I made a bargain that I would never leave him alone in this world, that I would never hate him and that I would always be there if he needed me.

Rhys simply nodded. “I get it Moonbeam. I’d do the same for Feyre if she asked.”

I nodded and looked at the floor. “I know you would Rhys, you aren’t a bad male and neither is Eris. You just have to see past his own mask. I’ve just been lucky and honored to see past it from the get go.”

Rhys looked at his desk, defeated and probably rethinking his actions towards Eris through again. I picked my bag up from the couch and flung it over my shoulder, I wrapped a couple cookies in a napkin and tossed them into a smaller pocket in my bag. 

As I was about to push the door open Rhy cleared his throat. “Does he know?” I shook my head and he sighed. “Okay. I trust you, you know what you're doing acting like you've been courting him right?”

I let out a sad short laugh. “Actually Rhys I honestly don’t have a clue. But he needs me. He asked me to do this for him, and why would I tell him no? I know I’ll probably get hurt in the long run, but what if it's the exact opposite? What if we go through this whole thing and he realizes one day suddenly that I'm his mate, that it's always been me? I can't give up hope because I might break my own heart. I can’t be selfish like that Rhys. If I get hurt I get hurt, but at least I still have him in my life somehow.”

Rhys nodded. “Be careful, okay? I'll always be here with cookies and the stars.”

I pushed the door open softly and looked back over my shoulder at him sadly. “I hate to burst your big brother and father mentality bubble right now Rhys, but you stopped being there before you left for Windhaven. You stopped being there after mother snapped at me, don’t try to be now please.” I let the door click behind me. 

The walk to the balcony was quick, the early night chill greeted me as I manifested my wings and flew down towards the landing of my apartment. I landed on the metal steps right before the small porch area me and Lucien had set up with a small table and two chairs, the wards whirred as they unlocked and music greeted me as I pushed the door open. Lucien was home, thank the mother Lucien was home, I needed a good fucking hug after that shitshow with Rhys. 

Music blasted from the kitchen, from the little enchanted mechanism Lucien had brought home with him a couple missions ago. His bright orange hair was pulled into a loose messy bun on top of his head, and he greeted me brightly spatula in hand, though once he had looked me over he set it down and rounded the counters enveloping me into a hug.

“You look like you had a shit day, what happened.” He rubbed my back softly.

I would die for Lucien’s hugs, he gave the best ones in the entirety of Prythian. “Rhys found out about the bond between me and Eris.”

“Oh?” He sounded worried

“Yeah.” Simple, easy.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” He'd make us spiked cider tonight and we'd forget this evening happened.

“He tried to talk down on Eris.” Anger, yet I hadn’t the energy to be angry.

“You beat his ass?” A sweet effort to make me laugh, and it actually worked.

“Close enough, I put him in his place for sure.” I snickered into his shoulder.

“That's my sister that I know.” He snarked.

I shoved his shoulder and pushed away from him. “I’m not your sister.” 

“Correction: Not yet.” He snickered loudly.

I rolled my eyes at him “I'm gonna go change.” I took my bag off my shoulder, grabbing the wrapped cookies and pressing them to him. He happily took them, popping one into his mouth and sitting the rest on the counter, I sat my bag on the coffee table. 

“Oh!” He waved his cookie at me. “You had a delivery come while you were out.”

“Just my dress Luc, wanna see it?” I raised my brow at him.

“Ohhh there is so much more than ‘Just a dress’ there love. There was only one bag from here. The rest are autumn court tried and true. Gifts from my brother I have no doubt.” He smirked at me.

“Luc… What am I about to find in my room? How much stuff is in there?” I questioned.

“Just your dress, and stuff to get our new roommate adjusted to life in night court.” He hummed smugly.

“OUR NEW ROOMMATE? LUCIEN WHAT AM I ABOUT TO FIND IN MY ROOM?” my eyes widened.

“I don’t know you haven’t named him yet.” He disappeared back into the kitchen and I turned down the hall to rush into my room.

I pushed the door open slowly just enough to peek into my room, low and behold I heard a happy little bark.  A few bags were stacked on my bed, a small fluffy bed was laid on the floor and happily nested in it was a small fluffy shadow hound.

“By the fucking Cauldron. LUCIEN WHAT THE FUCK.” Lucien’s laugh echoed down the hallway from the kitchen.

Taglist:

@stained-glass-eyes0708 @acourtofbatboydreams @abysshaven

@wallacewillow0773638 @azriels-mate2 @sassyslytherinshai

@sparksandstarss @pandabiiissh @saltedcoffeescotch

@cirwin2013 @minnieoo @easchies @melsunshine

@sweetcarolina-24 @florenceivy @inloveallthetime

[thelov3lybookworm]

Remember me? (Part 15)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.

But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.

Except for a very adorable reminder of him.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: basically filler, fully feyfey's pov, we'll get revelations in the next chapter 🫶🏻

enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Feyre's pov.

The relief that spread through Feyre was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It was her chest constricting, making it hard to breath, but it was also the first full breath she had taken in the past hour.

And that beast...

Tamlin.

Feyre did not know whether to cry in fright, weep in joy or hide in shame.

The male she had destroyed for no reason other than her mate's wishes had brought her child, her light in dark and a part of her soul, back to her, and also probably saved him from some sort of danger.

She did not know whether to beg for his forgiveness or thank him for his mercy.

And when his beast-like eyes met hers, everything stilled around Feyre.

Only for her though. She stopped hearing anything, only a high pitched ringing in her ears. Everything around her seemed to move, the room spinning.

The huge and airy space did nothing to alleviate her light headedness.

Feyre watched as Tamlin crouched low so Nyx could get off, as if in slow motion. Nyx grabbed fistfuls of Tamlin's fur, scrambling to get off, the smile on his face never faltering.

Feyre did not realise that she had stopped breathing, that tears were flowing down her face anew until her lungs screamed for air and she had no choice but to oblige.

She drew in a sharp gasp, the feeling a little painful as she watched Nyx waddle over to her. Feyre knew that the only reason Nyx was walking towards her was because Cassian and the other two were holding themselves back from picking him up.

Feyre fell to her knees, holding out her shaking hands, and Nyx's brows furrowed, his smile dropping.

"Mama? Why are you crying?"

Feyre shook her head, pulling him into her chest. "I'm not crying. My eyes are just sweating because there is dirt in them."

Feyre glanced around, realising everyone was staring at the two. Y/n and Mor were crying, while the rest of the males looked on, their faces grim.

With a start, she realised Tamlin had turned to his fae form.

He looked healthy. Healthier than he had been before.

That was all she could focus on, her mind refusing to let go of her fear and making it hard to think properly.

Nyx pushed away from her, smiling again. "You know momma, I made a new friend." He turned halfway to point at Tamlin, who looked on, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"Is that so darling? That's very nice. But how did you meet him?"

Nyx opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped, his brows furrowing. Dread started pooling in Feyre's stomach.

"I don't remember..." He trailed off.

"It's okay baby. We'll figure it out later." Feyre pushed his hair back from his face, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Nyx? Are you still awake?" The sound of Fin's voice drew everyone's attention, and Feyre watched the three members of the inner circle closely.

Confusion scrunched their faces before recognition set in. Even Azriel, who was usually collected and calm, could not hide the shock at seeing another child that resembled so much of his brother.

Their wide eyed gazes swung to Y/n, who walked up to Fin and whispered something in his ear. He nodded, a determined expression on his face, before he walked over to Nyx, tugging him away. The maid that had been assigned to Fin followed the boys closely back to their rooms.

Feyre rose a questioning brow at Y/n, who simply extended a hand to help Feyre climb back to her feet. Y/n glanced around once, then whispered to Feyre. "Go with the kids. After the meeting is done, I'll bring them to Fin's room to talk." She inclined her head towards the confused Inner circle members.

Feyre nodded.

And, with a last glance at Tamlin, followed after the kids.

•○🌑○•

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

Eris Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @tele86

Remember me Taglist: @holb32 @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @princesslolaasworld @asemkta @cat-or-kitten @txzii @bunnyredgirl @theofficialmadman @leeknows-wife @aria-chikage @amygdtjhddzvb @azriels-mate123 @inky-clover @kemillyfreitas @12358 @justdreamstars @cuethedepession @princessvesta @fides25 @nocasdatsgay @acourtofbatboydreams @stained-glass-eyes0708 @glaciuswduo @wallacewillow0773638 @cassie6392 @quackitysdrugdealer @txzii @anuttellaa @coisas-da-dani @hnyclover @sassyslytherinshai @historygeekqueen @why4anne @mybestfriendmademe @going-through-shit @thisblogisaboutabook @thehighlordishere @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival

[sarawritestories]

Starfall with the General (Bonus Part)

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: 5 years later Starfall looks a little different for the members of the Night Court, especially for The General and his mate.

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: this was simply an idea that struck me in the shower so enjoy the final installment of Starfall with the General

Warnings: none, this is as fluffy as it can get. It's not proofread.

Word Count:1885

Standing in front of the mirror you smile at your reflection. The dress you wore still fits even years later. Mor comes into your room and smiles, “I haven't seen that dress in ages.” The hairpin and necklaces deigning your neck made her smirk. “He's going to swoon.” Mor kissed your cheek as little feet padded from the bathroom causing you both to look in that direction.

“Auntie!” Violet, your 4 year old jumped into Mor's awaited arms. Spinning her around causing the young Illyrian to giggle. You smile at the sight your daughter wore a red dress with tulle and sequins that complimented her little wings and matched Mor’s signature red look. “I look just like you.”

Mor’s eyes beamed, “You sure do Vi, I am going to see what Uncle Az is doing we’ll see you soon okay?” the young girl nodded and Mor tapped her cheek as Violet kissed her and set her down to exit the room.

Having Violet was a blessing for you and Cassian, Nesta who in the midst of saving Feyre when she was in Labor with Nyx had also adjusted your anatomy to accommodate wings. You had tightly embraced the eldest Archeron sister for her wonderful gift. Cassian followed it up by scooping us both in his arms. Only a few months after that did Madja provide you with the good news you were with child. The pregnancy went smoothly and Cassian was with you every step of the way.

Cassian was a fierce warrior, a wonderful friend, and the most attentive mate, however, all that pales in comparison to how exquisite he was at being a father. The first time she had cried in the middle of the night he forced you to lay back down, whispering in your ear, “Let me.” With that he sat on the chair skin-to skin with your babe, telling the story of how he had met you for the first time and how he fell in love with you. The sight brought tears to your eyes and you awoke the next morning to the two of them in the chair. An image you shared with Feyre and had her paint to give to Cassian as a solstice gift that year.

The first time Violet had a nightmare Cassian stormed into her room you in tow and saw her tear-stained eyes and Cassian’s heart shattered. He spent an hour fighting off imaginary monsters causing the little one to giggle and you saw his face light up at the sound. Then the 3 of you padded back to your and Cassian’s shared room where he held on to both of you tightly wings shielding the night breeze.

“Well doesn’t my niece look beautiful,” Rhys’ voice pulled you from your thoughts as Violet’s face lit up to see her favorite Uncle. Nyx in tow behind him. Rhys bent down arms ready as Violet ran to hug him. The high lord stood still holding your child his eyes met yours and he eyed the outfit his gaze lingering on the necklace he got you all those years ago. He took in the dress and smiled.

“Mommy, looks pretty doesn’t she Uncle Rhysie.” Rhys’ gaze turned to the small child in his arms his violet eyes meeting her Hazel ones and lightly flicked her nose another giggle erupting.

“She does, I think your Daddy is also going to agree.” Rhys set her down and she immediately ran to Nyx as the two began to play. Rhys held out his arm, you walked over and you looped yours through his and you all made you way to the ballroom.

You giggled as Nyx tried to mimic his father and loop his arms with Violet’s but before he could she would run off and he would chase after her. “In the forest that day you found me,” Rhys stiffened but remained quiet, “I thought I was destined to be miserable that I would never get the chance at happiness and peace.”

Rhys with his free hand gripped yours and gave it a comforting squeeze. You continued, “I wish I could go back and tell her how happy I am now. I have that peace and a loving family that my life has been nothing short of amazing.”

The four of you reach the doors of the ballroom, Rhys releases your arm and turns to you pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “I am so happy you joined our family, Y/N, I love you.”

You return the embrace, “I love you too, now lets not keep the loves of our lives waiting shall we?” you pull away and swipe the stray tears from the High Lord’s eyes.

“Kids, you want to open the doors?” Rhys asks looking over to the two small children. Their eyes light up and Nyx picks up Violet so she can reach the handles and they open the door revealing the party in full swing.

Nyx sets Violet down and it doesn’t take her long to find the one person she is looking for in the crowd. She sprints into the ballroom, “Daddy!”

The sound of his name causes Cassian to stop his conversation with Feyre to find his daughter in the crowd. In the perfect moment bends down as she tackles into him almost pushing him off balance. The way he holds her makes your heart swell. He has his wings tucked comfortably his hair in a half up bun you always enjoy and in his signature black dress shirt and pants. He whispers in your daughters ear as he looks up no doubt looking for you. His eyes meet yours and his smile gives you butterflies.

You and Rhys walk towards your mates as Nyx already was at his mother’s hip. Feyre took sight of your dress and her eyes gleamed with mischief. Cassian still holding your daughter planted a kiss to your cheek. His breath grazed over the shell of your ear, “Well don’t you look beautiful, Sweetheart. I have very fond memories of this dress.”

You giggle as you do a twirl the black lace twirling with you, the red rubies in your hair and around your neck shining in the fae light. Cassian’s eyes gleamed as he watched you showcase the same dress and accessories you wore on the Starfall you found out you were mates.

“Mommy looks like a princess,” Violet nodded her head in approval.

Cassian looked at her, “I agree, but so do you,” the music changed to a slower song and Cassian put Violet down and held out his hand, “May I have the honor of a dance, Your Highness,” Violet smiled wide and nodded her head excitedly. Taking her father’s hand and running to the dance floor. Cassian gripped both of her hands in his and lifted her up so her feet were on his and the two began to sway.

Watching your mate dance with his little girl made you smile wide, tears glistening in your eyes. To watch them both laugh and his big smile, he must have noticed you staring because he looked up and gave you a wink that made your heart skip a beat. There was a tug on the bond urging you to come toward them. You walk to them and Violet squeals, “Mommy, dance with us!”

Cassian scoops Violet into his one arm and slips his free one around your waist pulling you closer. His scent of cedar and leather infiltrating your nose. You wrap one arm around his neck and one around Violet as the 3 of you sway to the musicians and you dance for the majority of the evening. The music shifts back to a slower song as he brings the two of you close once more, Cassian hummed in content, “My sweet Girls.” He whispered as Violet’s head laid on his shoulder as she yawned, ever the daddy’s girl. He kissed Violet’s forehead followed by yours, “How did I get so lucky?”

You smile, “I ask myself that everyday.” You lay your head on Cassian’s chest and you 3 remain like that until the music shifts into an upbeat tempo.

You pull away as everyone begins making their way to the balconies. Cassian leans closer to you, “Let’s go back to our room,” You nod in agreement and you sneak away and make your way back to the bedroom.

“Did you have fun, Princess?” Cassian asked Violet.

Violet yawned again and her eyes beginning to close, as she gave a soft, “Yeah,”

His hand was interlaced with yours as you reached your bedroom, “What about you, Sweetheart?”

You press a finger to your chin in mock thought, “I had fun but not really my favorite Starfall not yet anyway.” Cassian quirked a brow at the statement, as the three of you enter the room. As if on cue the house opens the balcony doors. You slip of your heels and wiggle your feet in the cushy carpet and you three walk outside right as the first star makes its way across the sky.

You lightly shake Violet, “Sweetie, Look up,”

Violet opens her eyes and when she sees the colors painting the sky they widened, “Wow,” she whispered.

You take a moment to look at Cassian as he looks up with Violet and your hands grip the balcony and your gaze moves to the sky above. “Out of curiosity,” You could feel Cassian’s gaze on you. “How would you feel about Violet having a sibling?” Your eyes meet his Hazel ones.

Cassian grins, “I would be happy if we could, but if we weren’t able to have a second child, I have everything I could have ever asked for right here.” Cassian kissed the side of your head, “Why do you ask?”

You give him a shy smile and drop the shield revealing your scent and his eyes go wide his wings ruffle in shock. “Really?” he whispered as Violet had fallen back asleep.

You nod and he cups your face with his free hand and kisses you tenderly. He sends wave after wave of love down the bond. He presses his forehead against yours, “Happy Starfall, Cassian. I love you.” You whisper closing your eyes at his warmth.

He lightly kisses your nose, “Happy Starfall, Y/N. I love you too.”

~few hours later~

Cassian sat in bed watching the rise and fall of his wife and daughters chest. The duo spooned together, drifting off into a soundless sleep. He took a moment to look at you the small smile that graced her features. He tucked a hair from your face and put it behind your ears. In his 500 years he never thought he would find a mate and when he found you, he thought that was the happiest he was ever going to get. Then Violet came in the picture. His gaze moved over to his daughter, she may have gotten all of Cassian’s physical features but her personality was all Mommy. Now there will be a new babe on the way and Cassian smiled as he laid down grabbing his girls and cocooning them in his wings. He whispered, “I love you three so much,” even to the babe in the womb and drifted into peaceful sleep.

[shadowdaddies]

Ooh if you’re taking fluff requests, what about Cassian x reader where she’s pregnant and goes into labor + Cassian showing off the baby to the IC and then the two of them being all cute with their newborn

anon you got me teary eyed thinking of Cassian as a proud dad.

this is tooth-rotting ✨fluff✨

Isn't She Lovely?

Cassian x Reader

You waddled into Madja’s exam room for your regular check-up. You still had several weeks before your baby was due, so you encouraged Cassian to go up to the Illyrian camps to help Rhys with issues they’d been facing. Feyre accompanied you to your check-up; she’d been there for you throughout the pregnancy, giving advice and comfort you didn’t know you’d needed. Neither you or Cassian were born into healthy families. While you were nervous to be parents, you were excited to give your child the love that they deserve. 

Feyre held your hand as Madja came into the room. She sat down to begin the examination, and quickly her eyes darted to you. “My dear, you’re already dilated to eight centimeters,” Madja said with surprise. You were confused, looking back and forth between Madja and Feyre, whose grip had now tightened on your hand. “What does that mean?” you asked, feeling weary. 

“It means you’re going to have a baby, very soon,” Madja announced, as she got up to prepare for the delivery. You started feeling panicked, breaking out into a sweat as you turned to Feyre, “Fey, Cassian is up at the camps. He can’t miss this, what do I do? I can’t do this without him.” Feyre gave you a reassuring smile and took a deep breath in and out, gesturing for you to do the same. “I’ve already let Rhys know what’s going on. He’s headed up to the camps as we speak and will bring Cassian back. It’ll be okay, honey.”

~~~

“I can’t do this!” you panicked, shaking your head at Madja as she urged you to push. You glared at Feyre, fear and adrenaline taking over your emotions as you growled, “where is he? You said he would be here!” Feyre’s eyes flashed with concern, but she maintained a pleasant smile as she continued holding your hand. “They’re on their way, just keeping pushing,” she assured you. Feyre’s eyes turned cloudy for a moment before she smiled brightly at you. Before she could speak, however, you heard a familiar voice shout, “where’s my girl?” 

You practically wept with relief as Cassian threw the door open, coming over to place a kiss on your forehead as he wiped the sweat from your brow. “Are you okay, angel?” he asked, his eyes sweeping for anything wrong. “I am now, Cass,” you whispered back. 

Madja ordered you to push, and this time, you found yourself with a renewed strength as you followed her instruction.

~~~

Cassian ran from the room out to where the rest of the inner circle was gathered. “It’s a girl!” 

Feyre and Rhys came in first with little Nyx, who could hardly contain his excitement meeting his cousin. Everyone else slowly came in to meet your daughter, and Cassian cried as he held her, so small in his arms as her tiny hand reached up to grab his finger. “She’s beautiful,” Mor murmured in a reverent tone. Cassian looked at her and smiled before turning to you, laughing through his tears as he whispered, “isn’t she lovely?”

[stargirlfeyre]

Gwyn fans making Feyre’s illiteracy the butt of a joke whilst also trying to push that girl into Feyre and her child’s life. Gwyn’s importance in Nesta’s life does not make her important to Feyre. She is Nesta’s family, not Feyre’s. She is not loved by Feyre nor is she close enough to Feyre to be an important part of Nyx’s life.

Y’all need to understand that Nesta is not Nyx’s mother and the people closest to her mean nothing to Feyre and her child. Nesta herself isn’t even close to Feyre. It’s funny how y’all desperately want Gwyn to be Nyx’s aunt whilst you shit on the women who canonically are his aunts. She’s not Mor or Elain and she never will be. Get over it.

[headfulloflettuce]

Puppet Darling - Part 5

Credit: Inspired by @wallflowers-in-the-wind’s post here.

Warning: angst

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 6 / part 7

Note: Some comfort before the chaos. Also justice for Nyx and his rattle. 

“Wow, you look like shit.” Nesta passed Feyre the orange juice.

Feyre groaned, the lack of sleep setting in, taking the orange juice with no complaints, and pouring herself some.

“So, what’s the plan now?” Elain asked, as Feyre attempted to feed Nyx a piece of egg.

Nyx took great offense to the egg, smacking it away.

“I don’t know, let’s ask our High Lady.” Nesta looked over to Feyre who threw away the egg.

Feyre could already feel a headache coming on, “I don’t know. The plan was to hide in the human lands, but I guess we’ll be hiding here now.”

“Is that all you plan on doing, hiding?”

“Well, what else am I to do?” Feyre snapped.

“We could be back home eating a good breakfast.” Elain muttered, eating a piece of toast. 

“This is a perfectly fine breakfast.” Nesta glared, being the one who had to cook it.

Nyx smacked away the second egg Feyre tried to feed him.

Child, what is with you?

“Clearly the little prince disagrees with you.” Elain points at Nyx who stole Feyre’s orange juice.

“Well I am sorry that the prince’s precious taste buds are sooo sensitive.”

Feyre put her face in her hands.

We are going to eat each other alive before Rhysand manages to catch us.

Nyx sipped his orange juice happily, when a knock sounded on the front door. 

Feyre got up, opening the door to greet Tamlin.

An awkward silence immediately set in.

“Hello.” He said.

“Hi.” She let him in, closing the door afterwards.

“I am here to check in. How did you all sleep?”

“Well.” Feyre sat back down

Tamlin gave her a skeptical look at that but didn't comment.

“How's breakfast?” He tried to continue the conversation.

“Good.” Elain said.

Tamlin sighed quietly, a bit annoyed by the curt answers, “I wanted to remind you three that you’re welcome to walk around the grounds, just don’t go past the circle of stones around this cottage. I have the space enchanted so others without the knowledge of where it is cannot find it.”

“So we can go outside?” Elain clarified.

“Yes, just be mindful of the border.”

Elain made a beeline outside, Nesta following after her.

“I don't need a babysitter.”

“I am not babysitting.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I just want to get some fresh air.”

Elain looked unconvinced.

Feyre turned back to Nyx who had knocked over his glass of orange juice, on the verge of tears.

“No more orange juice until you eat properly.”

Nyx babbled, annoyed at his mother.

“Do you need clothes for him?”

“Sorry?”

I forgot he was still here.

“You have him in a blanket. I assume you didn’t bring clothes since you’re on the run.”

“No we didn’t.”

Tamlin nodded, “I will bring some the next time I visit.”

“Thank you.” Feyre turned back to Nyx, helping him eat the mashed up food in front of him.

Why was he still here?

She tried not to glance at Tamlin who sat down across from her, watching her feed the child.

“There’s a bath.”

“I know.”

Do I look so terrible that you need to remind me?

Tamlin waited for her to finish feeding Nyx and setting him down to play before speaking again, “May I ask you a few questions regarding Rhys?”

“What…kind of questions?”

“You mentioned him using his daemati powers on you.” Tamlin's voice was gentle, “Can you elaborate?”

Feyre shifted in her seat.

“I am sorry.”

She stared at him.

“I recognize the question is intrusive but I need to understand what happened to be able to help you.”

He wasn't wrong.

Feyre took a deep breath, “It started when he began teaching me how to use my own daemati powers.”

Tamlin leaned in.

“At first it was small things, ideas and thoughts that I just deemed to be intrusive. Then it was small actions. Things I did surprised me but didn't seem too weird so I ignored it. It…it was after my um…breakdown, when Mor rescued me, that it got worse. It didn't feel like I was moving around properly. Like my body didn’t respond exactly how I wanted it to but I just assumed it was because of the stress and panic.”

“Then I heard his voice, whispering suggestions. Things I should do or not. To love or hate.” Feyre blinked away any tears that threatened to spill, “I went to him. I confronted him regarding it and he tried to lie. He said that I was imagining it, that I needed to rest after everything that had happened. I didn't believe him. I insisted.” She smiled sadly, “He revealed the truth, that he was doing it out of love. To protect me from you. To make me stronger.”

“I trusted him.” She murmured, “After everything we went through. I really thought he was my savior when he took me from Spring. After killing Amarantha together and-”

“Hold up. After killing Amarantha together?” Tamlin glared at her.

“I-yes. We stabbed her with a sword, I remember-”

“Then your memory is shit because last time I recall I stabbed her through the heart and then ripped out her throat.”

“No-what. No, that's not what happened.” Feyre frowned, putting her face into her hands, thinking back to her time under the mountain.

Yes, it was clear as day; she and Rhys attacked and pierced her heart together.

“You’re lying, that is what happened!” Feyre held firm, glaring at Tamlin.

Tamlin scoffed, “Oh wow. First you run from him. Then you give me a sob story, and now you come into my home and tell me that he had any part in killing that wench? What happened to not twisting the narrative, hm?”

“I-what? How dare you-”

I am speaking the truth!

Tamlin’s chair scraped loudly as he stood up, walking back over to the front door, “Have a good hideout Feyre.”

He slammed the door.

Feyre sat there in slight shock, Nyx babbling angrily in the background at the loud noise. She looked down at the wood grain, the fibers twisting and turning into eyes that stared back at her.

The horror of the situation set in.

Can…I even trust my own memory?

Feyre sat down on a picnic blanket, putting Nyx beside her. There was nothing to do inside so she decided that she would take a page out of her sisters’ book and enjoy the sunshine with some sandwiches for herself and applesauce for Nyx. Nyx began crawling around, tugging on grass and putting it in a pile, proudly presenting it to Feyre.

“Good job baby. Are you decorating the blanket?”

Nyx giggled, adding flowers to the pile.

“Feyre!” 

She looked up to see Tamlin, followed by the sentry who had confronted them and the faerie that accompanied the High Lord of Spring during the meeting in Day Court, each carrying a large bag.

“Here.” he placed the bag before her, “As promised, stuff for Nyx.”

“Oh, thank you.” 

I was starting to think he wouldn’t come back after storming out a week ago. I especially didn’t think he would return with things for Nyx. 

“I wasn’t sure what you needed.” Tamlin opened the bag, showing her the contents, “So I brought everything.”

The stout faerie smiled at Nyx, placing down the bag she had been carrying as well. The sentry dropped his.

Feyre’s eyes widened, looking through the stuff Tamlin brought; clothes, blankets, bottles, and toys, so many toys.

Nyx crawled onto her lap, and peaked in as well. His little mouth dropped open, trying to reach for a toy, almost falling in. Feyre caught him, grabbing a rattle for him.

Nyx happily shook the toy, banging it against the picnic blanket.

“Well, I am glad he’s interested.” Tamlin sighed with slight relief. 

“Thank you, again, for bringing all this.”

Nyx will finally not have to be wrapped up in a blanket or the clothes we brought him in.

“We also brought clothes for you and your sisters.” the female gestured to her bag.

Feyre nodded appreciatively, taking a look at the clothes. 

Meanwhile, the sentry approached Nyx, taking the rattle from him.

Nyx narrowed his eyes at the man, who began shaking the toy in his face.

The mating bond came to life, humming with anger at the action.

Feyre frowned.

I can’t believe we agree on something.

Though she knew the truth, the two of them agreed on much when it came to Nyx.

Nyx grabbed at the toy, with the sentry pulling it away in the nick of time. Nyx giggled, trying to grab it again.

The sentry smirked, bonking Nyx on the head with the rattle toy.

Nyx startled, staring in shock at the affronting action. Tears whelmed up in his violet eyes as he began sniffling at the injustice.

“Oh don’t be such a baby.” the sentry drawled, “You gotta grow some skin kid.”

Feyre restrained a growl in her throat, grabbing Nyx, who had begun crying, away from the man. 

He is a baby, that’s the point you idiot.

She bounced the child trying to soothe him but Nyx only began wailing harder.

“Oh dear…” Feyre stood up, “We’ll be right back, I am going to go calm him down.”

And get him away from that evil, evil man. Who hits a baby with a rattle?!

The mating bond continued to hum with indignation as Feyre walked back to the cottage, missing the death glare Tamlin had sent his sentry fleeing away with.

Feyre held the sniffling child close as she heated some milk for him.

“See? You’re okay. You’re okay baby.” she kissed Nyx’s forehead, who hiccuped, eyeing the milk she poured into a bottle greedily. 

“I am sorry about him.”

Feyre turned to face Tamlin, who had entered the cottage, carrying the three bags and setting them down by a dresser.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Feyre sat down on a chair, putting Nyx in her lap, “I wouldn’t be happy to see me either if I was a Spring Court citizen.”

“Here.” Tamlin rummaged through the bags, pulling out a foldable high chair. 

Feyre muttered a ‘thank you’, putting Nyx into it. 

She expected that to be the end of the interaction but instead Tamlin sat down across from them once more, watching.

“I am sorry.”

“What?”

“I shouldn't have stormed out the way I did last time.” Tamlin apologized.

You're sorry?

“I was wrong. I had you talk about something traumatic and then got mad when that trauma surfaced in a way you clearly hadn’t realized even impacted you in the first place.”

Feyre forced herself to talk, still in disbelief at the apology, “I-It’s fine. I should have known better.”

Tamlin’s eyes narrowed again.

“It's my fault it happened in the first place.” Feyre looked away. 

“No. No Feyre it is not.”

“I should have fought him harder. I should have struggled better.”

I should have been stronger.

“Feyre be reasonable. Fight harder against Rhys? I am certain you did all you could.”

“Clearly I didn't.”

If I had I wouldn’t be here.

“You did.” Tamlin said it so easily as if it was the truth, “The Feyre I grew to know never gave up easily. I know you fought tooth and nail. You shouldn’t blame yourself; I failed you much worse.”

She looked up at him

“I should have fought harder to break you free from Rhysand. I should have reached out when you were hurting after the mountain. I should have been the mature one and supported you.” Tamlin ran a hand through his hair, “I am…supposed to be much older and wiser than you…”

A silence settled over the table, aside from Nyx’s slurps.

“I regret not being as smart and manipulative as Rhysand.” Tamlin confessed. “Maybe if I was I could have protected you when you needed me most.”

“I am glad you're not. If you were, you wouldn't be doing this now.” Feyre said, “You wouldn't have taken me in now, expecting nothing in return.”

“How do you know it's not for personal gain?” a hint of a smile onTamlin’s lips.

“I have a feeling…though I guess if you decided to pull one over me I shouldn't be too surprised by it.” she smiled sadly.

“I won't.”

She blinked.

“I won't pull one over you.”

The next time someone knocked on the cottage door, Tamlin, his hair now made into a neat long ponytail, was accompanied by Eris.

“Why is he here?” Nesta hissed.

“Is that any way to greet your ticket into Autumn?” Eris raised an eyebrow.

“What is he talking about?” Nesta glared at Tamlin.

“He will be the one to hide you in Autumn and ensure your safety.”

“What? Why?!” 

“It's part of his payment to me.” Tamlin looked at the other two sisters, “Grab what you need and let's go.”

Feyre grabbed a bottle and plushie for Nyx, putting her child in his wrap while Elain grabbed a small pouch, stuffing it into the pocket of her pants.

Eris nodded, taking Nesta’s and Elain’s hands and Tamlin taking Feyre's, winnowing them to their new secret hideout.

They materialized in front of a wooden cabin deep in a forest full of red, luscious trees. The sun had set, but despite the bloody color, the forest felt almost welcoming.

“You’ll be staying here.” Eris led them to the cabin’s porch, a couple hounds bounding over to greet them, ceasing their growling upon their master’s orders, “This area is enchanted similar to the safehouse you were staying at before,”

“But, why are you helping us?” Feyre was confused, a feeling her sisters’ shared.

Eris looked to Tamlin with a smirk, “As he said, it’s part of my ‘payment’ to him.”

Feyre looked to Tamlin who sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “I am going to help him overthrow Beron. I requested this as part of the benefits I get after he comes to power.”

“What?!” Elain gaped.

“I thought you were working with Night Court?” Nesta raised an eyebrow, challenging the heir.

“Have you never heard of the concept of ‘allies’?” Eris rolled his eyes, “I am still planning on remaining buddies with the Night Court. However, there’s only so much time I am willing to waste. Rhysand doesn’t want to help me? That’s totally fine, I’ll just have the male who can grab my father by the scruff of his neck help me demolish him.”

Nesta didn’t have a counter, eyeing Tamlin after the last statement. Tamlin’s posture, however, remained peaceful and non-threatening.

Feyre looked down at Nyx, who had fallen asleep in his sling.

I just hope you don’t get dragged into this mess.

Next: Part 6

Masterlist

Tag list: @rcarbo1, @planet-faerie, @fox-in-flowers, @bookishfeylin

If you want to be added to a tag list let me know :D