#chiffon petrichor | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skitzs · 2 years ago

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Haruka: Petrichor

A pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.

“Other than the petrichor emanating from the rapidly drying grass, there was not a trace of evidence that it had rained at all.”

When Haru got a phone call from Makoto about that job proposal he’d mentioned through text three days ago, Haru didn’t think twice and grabbed the opportunity immediately, prompting the guy to meet up with him. He knew this would come sooner or later—the need for a stable income—since he was pushing for twenty, and therefore asking his parents for money was a massive no-no in his book. Of course, there would still come a time that they’d offer, in which he’d accept, but he supposed those could be reserved for stuff like college tuition and other things... But if it was about his basic needs such as his sine qua non, Haru would be damned if he still begged other people for that. That also meant his mom and dad. He’d rather not brush his teeth or use shampoo if those didn’t come specifically from his pocket.

Call Haru stubborn, but it was proving harder to rely on others as he got older. He already asked for help looking for an apartment, because he’d been a little desperate—as it was such a last minute thing, considering...he’d waited until Rin made a decision of his own, something Haru never brought up with him, for obvious reasons...

“I did not expect this, Makoto,” Haru breathed out as soon as he walked in in the air-conditioned café, eyes instantly roaming the place at large, drinking in the quaint, immaculate-looking furniture in the shade of ivory, and appliances that were all in chiffon, the frost wooden tables with their respective matching chairs in motif, the built-in indoor playground lining up the walls, and of course— “There are...so many cats here.” Too bad I didn’t bring my camera.

There was an answering hearty string of chuckles that erupted from behind him, as Makoto supplied helpfully, “That’s because it’s a cat café, Haru-chan.” Makoto, who just trudged in and stayed rooted standing next to him like a proud dad, hip-checked him. A smile threatened its way to his face, but it didn’t come as he felt it. Haru knew Makoto had always been fond of cats (he’d seen it firsthand when he got invited to the Tachibanas and they had cared for strays back there), same as he was, so perhaps the guy working here shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. What truly shocked Haru was the fact that he wasn’t joking when he said it was a place full of cats. Haru had mainly imagined a few, like maybe six or seven of them. But this one—it had about eighteen? If Haru was doing the math correctly.

“I... yeah, I expected six or seven of them, not twice those numbers,” he verbalized what he’d initially thought, stepping further into the spacious area and going toward one of the kitty condos at the far right corner of the café, where a few patrons crouched and stalled to admire and play with the cats. He neared a sterling white one and pet it, awestruck, gingerly running his palm over its resilient fur, with absolutely no hesitation. He was never afraid of getting cut should cats choose to hiss at him. Although, he knew these were the friendly types.

“Haru-chan, shoes,” Makoto pointed at Haru’s shoes clad feet, making him flush at near embarrassment. But he got over it as he took them off and put them in the rack beside the entrance, slipping on a pair of indoor slippers provided by the shop. Makoto also presented the sanitizer beside the rack, Haru obediently putting just a sufficient amount and spreading it all over his hands. They didn’t register their names anymore, because Makoto said it wouldn’t be necessary since their purpose was for a job application, and with Makoto being a reliable employee here received an okay from his senior. Haru already submitted his CV via email, after all, and did the interview over the phone during lunch break at school.

“Sorry about that,” Haru murmured, pertaining to his shoes just now. Makoto shook his head with a smile, as they both headed off to where the cats were minding their own business again.

“So, first off, we need your resume. ...For formality. Do you have one on print?” Makoto asked after a while, after they’d played with a couple of kittens cooped up in a cat box, the tiny animals purring non-stop when touched.

Reaching inside his sling bag, Haru fished out a beige folder where his resume was clipped in, and handed it over to Makoto. Over the phone, Makoto told him he’d already landed the job here, being one of the crews and all around waiters, on top of tending to the cats. Because that was one of the essential requirements; having a clear understanding of cat behavior and handling practices. And Haru would like to think he was pretty great at it. “Should I just wait here?” He inquired, unable to move away from the playground. He wanted to watch over the kittens some more...

Smiling, Makoto nodded to him. And then he rambled off, “Yeah, it’s okay. I’ll just be a bit to give them your resume, then I’ll be back for you. Erm... maybe expect Sousuke to drop by as well? He texted me that he’s just right around the corner. I already told the staff he didn’t need his name for registration as well. We’d grab some coffee and snacks. Oh—that reminds me! What would you like?”

Haru thought about it. He hadn’t seen much of the menu of this coffee shop. When he googled it yesterday, he’d been more focused on the fact that it was a cat café than what it served people, so... “I don’t know yet. I’ll look at the menu first.”

“Okay!” Makoto chirped, and then he was lifting the entrance plane by the counter to get inside the back kitchen and perhaps into the office with Haru’s resume folder.

Haru returned to the cats in front of him, all the while thinking about where to get one of those menu pamphlets.

Sousuke had long joined Haru to play with the cats by the time Makoto came back, and he was all lit up like sunshine as soon as he saw Sousuke, eager to go over where they were by the kitty condo. “You’re here,” he gushed, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Haru how beatific his voice had sounded.

“Yeah, told you I’d be here,” Sousuke replied, delighted as he could be. Haru snuck a glance their way to see the exchange, a tad bit curious. For some reason...

“Why don’t we find ourselves a table, yeah? Let’s order some coffee and food. Their cake is really good,” Makoto suggested, ushering them both to an unoccupied table near the fiberglass walls, overlooking the streets. Haru complied, and so did Sousuke, the three of them heading to it at once. They convened around it, Makoto walking away for a while and then coming back with two menus that he placed on the table before them before taking a seat. “Here you go. It will be my treat.”

Quickly, Haru shook his head, at the same time that Sousuke muttered, “No need, Makoto. But thanks for the offer.”

Makoto blinked at them, speechless for a second before he burst out laughing. “Seriously, it’s okay! I got this. I work here, so it’s only—”

“Nah,” both Haru and Sousuke said, and then Makoto was laughing again.

“Ah, the perks of hanging out with the two of you. Fine,” he said, shaking his head as he too looked at the menu that Sousuke was holding up.

In the end, they went with a variety of food choices, since they couldn’t decide. They got themselves spinach-ricotta turnover, hiyayakko, a matcha crack pie, and one lisbon dark chocolate cake. As for their drinks, Haru ordered himself a cold brew, while Makoto and Sousuke went with their ’usual’ which was cortado. The food was nice, same with the ambience of the shop, and Haru, to say the least, was genuinely enjoying himself. Normally, he would go straight home the moment he was finished with something—and apparently he was—but the beauty of the place made him want to stick around. It was the same when he visited an Aquarium Center, he just couldn’t leave. It didn’t matter that this meeting was slowly turning into a date between Sousuke and Makoto either, the two talking to each other so comfortably as if Haru didn’t exist; the way they moved in sync as if they could read the other’s thoughts...?

Makoto wasn’t even saying anything, nor was he showing signs of needing a napkin, but Sousuke offered the box of tissues anyway, on instinct, and Makoto accepted it appreciatively, nodding his head in glee, as if Sousuke just knew. It was...amazing. Haru was enamored. Is this what it’s like to have a partner? To have a lover? Like you’ll just move in perfect sync, your body languages exposing you and basically telling everyone that you are dating? Haru didn’t know, but he would like to find out. And somehow... the notion itself had Rin coming into mind. Would they also be like this, should they...date? Just be able to understand each other without effort, without conveying what they desired into words? Haru could only imagine it, for now. Rin cooking saba for him out of nowhere, on a lazy day, when he really needed it. Or Rin running the bath for him without the pretense of asking, simply because Haru had a terrible day and being in the water took all his stress away that Rin knew of.

Haru thought it’d be very domestic. They’d seem like a married couple, and that— ...is impossible, isn’t it? What was he even thinking? He couldn’t even get himself to take the first step, which was to ask Rin out, or the bare minimum; to tell Rin how he truly felt. At this rate, all those thoughts, those daydreams, would stay as they were if he kept this up. Where do I start? Yeah, where? Haru had never thought of it. If ever, Haru would just likely...kiss Rin and that would be that. He’d never really pondered on how he should go about this, which was quite lame of him, point-blank. As much as he’d like them to progress, he just couldn’t get himself to confess. To submit. And it sure was driving him nuts.

Someday.

“Thank you for today, Makoto. You didn’t have to offer me a position in this job, but you went out of your way anyway. I’m indebted to you.” Haru bowed down to his waist, his hands on either side of him.

“Ah, no, it’s okay, Haru-chan! Please! Pleasure is mine!”

“You keep saying that, Mako...” Haru heard Sousuke mumble, and that got his heart lurching a bit. Mako. That was it. There really was something going on between them. Why did Haru even have to second-think it? Now he felt like cracking up at himself for being so dense.

“Eh, Sousuke... I was just being honest. Haru-chan is a good friend of mine, so any help I could offer, I definitely would. Besides, it was a sudden idea that I myself thought of... We were texting one time, and we got to the topic of bills and work and cats, then—there’s that. The rest is history.” He giggled. Sousuke grunted in response, and Haru finally straightened up to shot Makoto a smile, making the guy blush in surprise. “Haru-chan...”

“Thanks again,” Haru repeated. Makoto accepted it this time, returning his smile with a bigger and wider one, openly and earnestly that his viridescent eyes still shone even under the lamppost that was the only source of light in this fine evening, because yes, sundown had caught up to them, respectively, considering the three of them agreeably refused to leave sooner. ...Even Sousuke, who didn’t seem like a cat person, had been splendid with them and couldn’t keep away from the cat flats. That actually just made Haru realize how often he must be coming over here purely to see Makoto at work.

Back in their apartment later, Haru found Kisumi working out as a basketball match ran idly on the TV. He held blue dumbbells down as he did push-ups on a yoga mat sprawled over the floor. He beamed when he saw Haru walk into the room. “Welcome home, my love!” He cheered, heaving a little, like he ran a marathon. He was sweating madly, the collar and chest parts of his peach shirt soaked.

“So it’s ‘my love’ now? What happened to ‘my Nanase’?” He mused, tearing his gaze away from Kisumi’s suddenly standing form, the guy letting go of the dumbbells and leaving them splayed across the ground. Dismissing him, Haru toed his shoes off by the door and made his way to the kitchen, unbuttoning his polo. He poured himself a glass of water and drank it; he felt refreshed right away. Well, his throat did.

“Why not?” wondered Kisumi in a tone that gave away how he was definitely curious about the answer to that. But he didn’t linger on the subject. Instead he asked, “How’d the job hunting go?” He was standing at the entryway of the kitchen now, looking back at Haru, who still stood nearby the fridge.

“Fine. I got accepted at the place where Makoto works,” he told him briefly.

Kisumi applauded, clearly thrilled. “That’s great news! We should celebrate!”

Haru raised a brow. “How?”

“Wanna watch a movie with me?” Kisumi quipped instantly, as though he’d thought about it beforehand.

“That’s how we should celebrate?”

“Mm! And you get to pick the movie since you just landed yourself a job!”

A sigh. Minutes later, after Haru had showered and changed clothes, he joined Kisumi in the living room and they put on A Rat’s Life 2. It was supposed to be a joke, to make Kisumi regret ever thinking of watching with him, but Kisumi seemed to be the one enjoying every last bit of it anyway. Just as he thought. Nothing ever made this guy sad or upset. He was always upbeat. It even bordered on contagious... No, I am not becoming fond of this guy. There’s just no way.

Kisumi chit-chatted away while they watched, and Haru, shockingly, didn’t mind. Was it because he felt tired that he didn’t have the energy to tell Kisumi off? Probably. Because otherwise, he would make him shut up. Tonight, however, was different. Haru didn’t have the heart to open his mouth and get Kisumi to snap out of it. He even entertained the guy when he suddenly paused the film and nudged Haru, prompting that, “You should definitely post a picture on your profile, Haruka-kun~” He was referring to his Instagram account that was still rather empty. Kisumi had been bugging him about it for a week now that Haru just knew exactly what he meant by that. He’d also badgered Haru about all the ’DMs’ he received on a daily basis from people he didn’t know, asking about how he was, whether or not he was taken, if he lived around Tokyo too, or merely saying hello.

Shrugging, Haru tipped his head sideways and gave Kisumi a look. “What for?”

“Just for fun!” Kisumi trilled. Then he snatched Haru’s phone that was peacefully facing down on the coffee table, untouched, pulling up the camera application. “Here, let’s take a quick selfie.” Haru didn’t want to, but Kisumi’s insistence won over his stubbornness, and so they took a selfie. Not returning Haru’s phone just yet, Kisumi took it upon himself to post their picture on his Instagram account without bothering to ask for his permission first, and captioned it with a simple smiley emoji and a hand doing a peace sign. “There!”

Unthinking, Haru stared back at their photo, and it showed the two of them sitting on the couch, facing the camera, with Kisumi wearing a charming smile while Haru simply looked up and glowered, expressionless. He thought it turned out okay so he let it slide. Moments after it, he got over 2,451 likes, his phone kept buzzing with multiple notifications, which was a little...alarming so to speak.

Ah, yes, he’d gained more followers over the last few days, thanks to Asahi again who did more live streams while Haru was around as if he timed it, making sure Haru appeared whenever his viewers asked for him. From having five thousand followers, Haru now had seventeen thousand in less than five days. Instagram was wild, he thought, even for those who didn’t usually care, and so were Asahi’s online fans.

“So, that was over,” Haru uttered during the ending credits of A Rat’s Life 2. He hadn’t even seen its previous part, he mostly heard of it from Rin, because he liked this movie. But he watched it in Australia with his ’new friend’ (who was none other than Natsuya), so Haru couldn’t bring himself to watch it when it aired in the cinemas here in Japan. He felt a little under the weather at the time, like he could vomit any moment that he chose to stay at home all weekend. Then came its final week of showing, and Haru still didn’t watch it then, because he was hard-headed and spiteful like that. Having watched part two tonight... He could only miss Rin and his tinkling laughter, and his eyes, his lips, his brows, his skin, his smile, his—

Haru rose to his feet and stretched.

“You going to call it a night, Na-na-se?”

“Yep.” And he did. He went to bed, switching the lamp off as he propped his feet over the pillow. He checked his inbox and smiled at the last few texts Rin sent him. [Band practice today, Haru! I’m so excited... God, I just wanted to tell someone. Thought it should be you.] [I think I’m getting the hang of it. HOW I MISSED THIS! Playing the electric guitar and just getting lost with it. So pumped!! :’D] [So... Kaede turned out to be a monster. Like, the dude was TOO GOOD, Haru. Wtf.] [Ah, Natsu is awesome too. Shit, I need to catch up to them!!!] ... [But wait. Ikuya is... He’s flawless, Haru. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? I’M SURROUNDED BY MONSTERS??! TASUKETE, HARU!!!]

Haru thought Rin was having so much fun, just based on his texts, and Haru felt happy for him. Mostly. In a way, he was jealous. Not of Rin, but the people who got to hangout with him. This could only mean that they listened to him sing, whereas the young version of Haru had to purposefully catch Rin singing in a hidden space, away from prying eyes and eavesdropping ears. Away from Haru. He wondered now, what could be the sound of Rin’s singing voice these days? Has it improved from the last time he heard it? Has it gone deeper in its singing form, just like in its talking form? Could he be hitting high notes? Could he rap too? So many questions. Unanswered questions.

And Haru mulled it over, he thought of what could be—what his reaction would be once those questions finally got their answers. He fell asleep that way. Racking his brains. To the probabilities.

He woke up to the sound of his alarm and got up; he brushed his teeth, cooked saba, ate it, took a shower and brushed his teeth again. Going back to his room, Haru got into some warm clothes, then a pair of shoes that he deemed okay to use through the rainy season, and then he was off to uni. With Kisumi and Asahi, of course. ...Of course, because this had just become a routine for the three of them now.

[Haru, good morning! Congratulations again! :) Here’s your schedule for next week. I also indicated the address to the tailor for your uniform. They said it should be done by Monday! See you at work soon!!!]

23 new notifications. Haru blinked at it. ...On Instagram? Ah, some comments on his and Kisumi’s photo. What are they saying about it now? ...Ship? They...ship them? What does that even mean? Whatever. Haru locked his phone and slipped it back into the back pocket of his jeans.

Today he didn’t happen upon Rin in the streets, like he usually did on weekdays. There weren’t many people as well, just a few men in suits carrying a suitcase, a couple of guys cycling to Hidaka University, and then some families out for a stroll, since it was a Saturday. Even Haru only had one class to attend, and he’d be free for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, as they reached the school, what Haru did not expect was to see Rin inside the campus (his heart fluttering in his chest just at the notion itself—he was just about to feel disappointed too. It almost got him choking due to the overwhelming feeling, because he thought Rin wouldn’t be here at all). But he was, and he looked rather soft today, ethical and brisk, like he just got out of the bath and the fresh morning air cooled his skin into perfection. And he sat in a black oversized hoodie and gray trackies, right there by the park to the left side, gracing the grassfield shaded by a tall tree with—his kouhais, Momo and Nitori. He was holding an acoustic guitar as he faced the other two, talking animatedly as if he was telling them something they should know. Haru knew right away that this was Rin, giving some tutor lessons to his underlings, and he couldn’t help feeling enraptured on the inside... Rin, you’re really doing it.

Seeing this play out at an insurmountable distance, Haru didn’t want to disrupt the moment, because if he was being honest here, he could just stare at Rin all day be in his element and be serious about tutoring his kouhais, with a dazzling smile across his face, his eyes shining bright and glittering...

But of course Kisumi had an entirely different plan. And that was to step in and do the exact opposite.

“Rin!” Kisumi called, inflection extra sunny and radiant, waving exuberantly with both hands, as he jogged his way toward Rin. Rin looked up, and as soon as he did, some of his burgundy fringe being swept by the wind momentarily, his and Haru’s gaze locked. Then Rin shifted his attention to Kisumi who was still waving enthusiastically at him, lips parting open by a centimeter.

“Kisumi... Haru...” Rin said, suspended, like he didn’t expect to be caught this way, like he didn’t anticipate this one bit. He set the guitar aside from letting it sit over his lap, before he addressed them again, “You guys are here... on a Saturday?”

“Yeah! Asahi and I have a few extra Saturday classes. Haruka-kun too. What about you?”

Rin fish-mouthed for a second, and Haru felt a bit uneasy due to knowing what that meant. Rin was uncomfortable about them intruding on this session, there was no other explanation for it. Whether Rin was embarrassed for getting walked in on during such an unguarded state of his, or simply because this was his first time to see familiar faces in the midst of a tutoring convocation, Haru wasn’t sure which was which. He had no clear understanding of it yet, and he thought it wasn’t his place to ask just yet. After all, this was also the first time he’d ever seen Rin in this fashion, despite being aware that this was what he was good for.

“Ah, well, I don’t, but...” Rin trailed off, gesturing toward Momo and Nitori and the guitars on their laps, as if that was enough annotation, which, yeah. They were. To Haru, perhaps. I get you, Rin.

“Oh—ah!” Kisumi exclaimed, like he finally understood.

“They’re having a guitar lesson,” Asahi stated the obvious, saving Haru the trouble of spelling it out himself.

“Well, that’s nice,” Kisumi said, chuckling, then he proceeded to ask as he lowered himself to the ground, “What’re you teaching them now?”

A hand flew up to the back of Rin’s head as he rubbed at it, looking around him, awkwardly. There were notebooks lying on the grass that only Haru was noticing now, and he thought they were notes that contained chords, or could be musical sheets, amiably. But learning all about it was not in Haru’s top priority for now—he wanted to leave them be. “Erm... Right now, I’m teaching them the basics. You know, the, uh—”

“Kisumi.” Haru reached down to grab Kisumi’s arm and pulled him up to his feet.

“Eh? Haruka-kun—”

“Let’s go. You’re making Asahi late for your first class.”

Rin looked up at Haru and smiled a little—causing warmth to pool at Haru’s belly just at the sight alone—seemingly beholden by him.

“But, I’m still talking to Rin...” Kisumi whined, pouting now.

“You can talk to him next time,” Haru told him, sternly. Kisumi remained thwarted, balking as he got pulled away from the grassy area and back to the concrete walkway. “We’ll be going, Rin. I’ll see you later. Momo, Nitori,” he also nodded at the two boys, both of whom grinned back at him.

“Goodbye, Nanase-senpai!” They called. It was mostly Momo who had the higher pitched proclamation, making Haru bite at the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing there and then, because it was such a Nagisa thing, and Haru had always been fond of Nagisa and his quirks, and seeing the resemblance on other people was such a breath of fresh air. He really did miss his friends back in Iwatobi...

As he walked away with Asahi and Kisumi, catching a glimpse of Rin’s relieved face who sprung instantly back to engaging his kouhais into the private lecture, Haru wondered when he’d see them again.

The only class Haru had to attend this Saturday had something to do with Japanese ceramics and Sculpture. It was authentically optional to take this course, because most of the students didn’t want to major it as they had no interest in said topic, and wouldn’t want to waste resources off of it.

Before it was mandatory, because the higher ups believed it was essential to their culture, and that in a radical sense, learning it fit the artistic significance of majoring in fine arts. They were used for everyday activities, food storage, and sacred rituals.

However, ceramics and pottery were Japan’s oldest art forms dating back to Neolithic times, so as the years went by and various, uniquely plotted miserere about it had risen, both from parents and children, the school decided to just let one choose for themselves if they would include this class to their lists of subjects, or not. The main issue had stemmed from the changes in the world, plainly, reasoning everything had been more focused on the digital side now rather than the traditional, to which the university, unfortunately, agreed with. But of course, Haru took this subject, without an ounce of regret, because he was still into orthodoxies, the classical sides of things, and because he’d always loved sculpting, even from way back when... He just really enjoyed it; carving woods, collecting plushies, seeing mascots, making figurines out of clay, you name it.

And so he was here today, appreciating the fact that instead of seeing forty plus pupils or more, there were just a few of them present here and there was sereneness in exchange to the usual uproar and vibrancy of mixed voices filling the classroom.

He took a seat on the spot where he normally did, which was next to the window at the back row, overlooking the rest of the spacious room and the wide curved blackboard with a single long table that was for the teacher—almost looking like a massive podium—placing his bag under the platform. The teacher hadn’t arrived yet, and Haru could count with a single hand and a half the number of students here right now. Although, the doors would open from time to time whenever a new student would come in, making Haru look out of curiosity. And that’s how he saw Natsuya’s brother, ducked and hunched as he trudged inside with his hands shoved in the pockets of his blue denim jeans, headphones slumped over his head, some of his dark teal bangs falling softly to his face, covering his eyes, wearing a large white T-shirt. So he takes this subject too, huh. Haru looked away from the sight, hurriedly, before Ikuya could catch him staring. Besides, Haru didn’t want to be discovered, not really... Not that he didn’t wish for the guy to sit next to him, but. He just didn’t know how to hold conversations, mostly, so.

Haru tried to appear small. Invisible. If that was even possible.

“Ohayo.” Apparently not. Without looking, Haru knew that that greeting was intended for him. He knew because—it was that voice. That deep, mellow voice that was all too distinct to miss. And it really did sound like his own, he’d come to accept. Natsuya was right.

“Ah. Ohayo,” he returned with a nod, and then he let himself have a good look at Ikuya, who was grabbing hold of his orange headset, ready to remove it from atop his head, wearing such a gentle smile on his face as he directed his gaze down at Haru. ...Ikuya’s warm smile. Seeing that for the first time in three days, Haru wondered if anything great happened to him this morning for him to be in such a blatantly good mood. The aura he’s radiating isn’t as downtrodden as before. He doesn’t seem out of it either. Is this just a front, or is he actually feeling better?

Because last week... Ikuya had seemed so abdicated. So lost in fact that Haru had contemplated engaging him in conferences better, even when it wasn’t his forte. Because they did talk. Ikuya approached him a lot, albeit with the most mundane of things such as asking about his day or simply mentioning courseworks, and—well, that would stop there, actually. With the way things went at the time, Haru had thought about taking pity on him, and to perhaps attempt at making the guy’s day by offering to join him for lunch at least, and then give him a serving of saba, with that being his real plan, because definitely, Haru’s day got made when he ate it. He’d imagined it could be the same for Ikuya, so there was that.

Then again, if Haru weren’t shy, he was at a loss himself, so his original contemplations ended up disappearing into thin air anyway. He was just never good at comforting people, and he’d come to accept this over the years. The one person he knew how to comfort was... well, Rin. Only because he loved him, thus there was a certain pull that would force him to actually do something. Otherwise, to other people, Haru would often come off as cold, and stoic, even if that wasn’t his intention. All he wanted was to lend some help, and yet—it just never worked with the face he had and the traits he possessed. He could just sigh in frustration and sag his shoulders in surrender.

It must be his lucky day though. At least now he wouldn’t have to worry about... Wait. Worry? Why would I worry? Alright, so maybe that wasn’t the word he was looking for. What he meant was, he didn’t have to feel afflicted should Ikuya appear depressed again, today. That way, he didn’t also have to be haunted by the guy’s sorrowful ginger glances for the rest of this class.

“Didn’t think you’d also take this course, Haru,” Ikuya said as soon as he took a seat, stuffing his headset into his gym bag.

“I could say the same for you,” Haru replied, willing himself to smile. It didn’t come.

“Ah, well, that’s because my boyfr—” he cut himself off, eyes blinking rapidly as he turned away, cheeks a little bit flush. Haru could see it; a sliver of his cheekbone despite his face angling opposite from him. So Ikuya has a... boyfriend? Somehow, the idea itself had Haru feeling fuzzy on the inside, the inside of his stomach swirling with something warm... He felt better knowing he wasn’t the only one. That Ikuya also went for the same sex, like him.

“So, it’s because your boyfriend told you to take it... I see.” Haru enunciated this as he lay his chin over an open palm, where he leaned his elbow over the surface as he faced the front row, opting to acknowledge Ikuya’s slip-up. Because Ikuya shouldn’t be turning back on the subject.

“N-no! Not... It’s not that. I don’t have a—”

“Mm? I mean, it’s okay, Ikuya. Everyone has their own preferences,” Haru offered—and in the nicest way that he could manage. Which made this a tad strange so to speak, because why was Ikuya making that offended face? Did Haru say something bad?

There was silence that followed. Until Ikuya muttered, “I said that’s not it, Haru... Not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” But I couldn’t have gotten it wrong. He was dead sure he heard him almost say the word ’boyfriend’ just now.

“N-never mind. Let’s just not talk about it, okay?” Ikuya stressed, and he sounded agitated all the sudden, assertion coming off shaky. He was avoiding the topic.

Unsure of himself, Haru blinked back at Ikuya, but never let himself appear worried. He made sure he looked as if he was unbothered, when the truth of the matter was he felt rather disappointed Ikuya wouldn’t admit he was the same as Haru. That he was into men too. “If you say so.”

“Yeah.” Ikuya returned to his belongings, as if completely diverting from the truth, deciding to busy himself and rummage through his bag like his life depended on it, and... Haru had no choice but to do the same, therefore the both of them began to mind their own business from there. And for the rest of the morning as well, they just didn’t dare reopening the ’boyfriend’ stuff, not even until the sun reached its peak.

They did speak with one another, however, bonded over the speciality, and Ikuya might’ve sincerely laughed a couple of times when they got the first few items collectively wrong in the quiz, but never once they brought the issue back, not even when, matter-of-factly, that was all Haru could think about the whole period.

Haru put his things back into his bag and zipped it up, slinging it over his shoulder. He could go home now, no longer planning to stop by the cafeteria for lunch. He could check up on Rin by the school park too, although he bet he wouldn’t happen upon him there at this late hour. This was a two and a half hour course, and Rin didn’t look like he had weekend classes. How many hours did music lessons last anyway? Haru mulled it over as he upended, readying himself to leave. He saw Ikuya do the same thing, looping his cantaloupe headset around his neck as he tapped away on his phone, some faint music belching off of the device.

“Haru.”

“Hm?”

“Are you heading straight home?” Ikuya inquired.

Haru lifted his left hand and took a peek at his wrist watch, seeing the time that read, 12:55 PM. “Yeah, there’s nothing for me to do here. I’ll eat lunch at home. How about you?” He returned the question as he lowered his hand to his side.

“Oh, well, I was actually thinking maybe we could grab some lunch...” He murmured, suddenly looking anywhere else but Haru. His cheeks looked the littlest bit flushed, and that made Haru curious as to why. In any case though, Haru was okay with the on-the-spot invitation.

“Oh, okay. I don’t mind—” he almost finished saying, and Ikuya was about to light up too, but there was a voice that interrupted them.

“Ikuya!” Someone was calling on to him from the entrance doors.

Ikuya whipped around to see who it was, just as Haru glanced at the doors as well, and they both saw a guy wearing a brown coat over some thick, cream knit sweater, raven trousers, and brown loafers, clutching on the strap of his brown leather bag as he lifted one hand to wave, a black thick-framed glasses perched over his nose.

It was the same guy Haru saw dining with Ikuya back at Asahi’s sister’s pub last week, and he was here today, because?

“Hiyori...” Haru heard Ikuya mumble under his breath. So, that was their name. Haru scanned Ikuya’s posture from here on out, after this Hiyori guy showed up; he seemed a bit... tensed, Haru would say. Disbelieving, even. Nevertheless, the recognition he appeared to be having for Hiyori could only mean that the lunch invitation was off. And that’s fine by me.

“Looks like I’ll be having lunch at home. See you, Ikuya,” Haru bidded then, already turning around to head off.

“E-eh? Haru, wait!” Ikuya called, and that had Haru looking back over his shoulder, imploring.

“Yeah?”

Ikuya looked like he wanted to ditch his friend for Haru, like he was truly and utterly considering his options. But Haru couldn’t have overlooked that, his conscience would not allow it. “Let’s... have lunch next time,” Ikuya finally said, his articulation of the words pastel, barely audible, as though he didn’t want anyone to hear aside from Haru. Haru nodded his agreement, and then he was taking off from the row, climbing up two steps as he swerved a corner to make the beeline for the exit of the classroom. He got to soldier his way over to where the Hiyori guy was still standing and waiting for Ikuya, and they had a brief eye contact as he went, and that—

For whatever reason, Haru’s hair stood on end...having face to face with such an indisputable negative force. And, what’s up with that? What’s up with this person? The guy with the glasses wasn’t even giving him an angry leer, a dirty look, and yet—Haru felt like he did him wrong, somewhat. Like he stole something important to him. What the fuck? With the way Hiyori sent forth a strange, passive aggressive smile his way. Haru knew just how fake and cold it was that he could only swallow the lump that had formed in his throat in that short second.

It was over soon though, and Haru found that he could breathe smoothly again. But then... what was that all about?

Haru went home by himself, choosing to take the subway and endure the thirty minute struggle of squeezing through heaps of random strangers with distinctly unique scents of their own, either texting on their phones while being unfazed by some wailing child five handlebars over, or some pissed pregnant women talking their husbands’ ears off about... Haru didn’t even care to know anymore. He was just glad he survived that and now he was home, untying his shoelaces and setting his rubber shoes aside so Kisumi wouldn’t trip on them once the git came back later.

As it turned out, Kisumi and Asahi still needed to attend two more of their classes before they could call it a day. As for him, it was finally his off day. He could just laze around the apartment the entire afternoon, snooze in and just be free. The notion put a smile on him, and he could just do exactly that—smile—because he was alone with no one here to tease him about it.

Letting go of his bag as he went to his room, Haru quickly undressed to go to the bathroom and chill in under the spray. He felt a little sad thinking about how it had been a while since he last took a dip in a tub... which was back at his grandma’s tub in Iwatobi. He pondered when he would be able to get that same feeling again whenever he had a good soak in where he could even drift off.

Then he remembered the huge tub back in Rin’s place and suddenly he was frowning. Natsuya got to dip in such a nice, pretty tub, but not him. If only I... Haru shook his head, droplets of water sprinkling left and right. There’s no point in regretting that now. This was his home now, he had to move on from that. Haru turned the shower off and toweled off, wearing a pair of boxers on his way out and dumping the damp thing over his head.

Later when he felt his stomach rumble, Haru got up from the sofa and switched the TV off, so he could cook himself some meal, shaking his head in dismay. How could he forget? He didn’t eat anything apart from the toast he munched on this morning.

He ate in complete silence... like total silence, since Kisumi wasn’t home yet, and he wouldn’t be for a while. Which was fulfilling, because as a result of the lulling atmosphere, Haru fell asleep with no difficulty, after a satisfying burp. The only moment he got woken up was at midnight, and it was due to a call from...Sousuke? Haru adjusted his vision to the blinding light coming from his phone... and he lamented, odd. Sousuke and Haru never had any reason to contact each other before, not even when they had to meet up, and if they ever did talk on the phone, it was mostly via Makoto’s demand.

Hm... No time to think things through for now. Haru picked up.

The first thing he noticed as he assessed his surroundings, pressing his phone to his ear, was... the fact that he could hear people talking loudly in the living room. Kisumi had been back for some time now, he knew. But who else was there with him? Asahi? Could be... but wasn’t it two in the morning?

“Hello?”

“Nanase-kun.” It was a bit noisy from where Sousuke was, Haru could hear some shouting and lively music playing in the background. Just where was he? Why this late? “I didn’t think you’d be awake, I merely tried my luck.”

“What’s up?” Haru felt his eyebrows knit together, trying to make out what else was going on from Sousuke’s end.

“Uh... I don’t know how to say this, but... Erm, Rin, he—”

Haru’s heart skipped a beat on instinct at the mention of Rin’s name, like it was second nature now. “Tell me, Yamazaki, what happened to Rin?”

“Well, he passed out—”

“What,” he bit out more than he asked. Rin passed out, what does that mean?

“He’s... drunk.”

“Oh.”

“And he was so drunk he couldn’t tell me where he lives, so I don’t know how to get him home. Do you think you’ll be able to—”

Haru didn’t waste any second and asked, “Where are you right now?”

“Uh... tch. We’re at Daydream. Do you know where that is?”

“Yeah. Be right there.”

“Nanase—” Haru ended the call, unable to hear the rest of what Sousuke had to say. He only had one goal in mind now, and that was to get to the place where Rin was, hoping for his safety. He didn’t bother changing clothes, just grabbed a random coat and slipped on a pair of shoes, whichever were lying about the nearest. Then he was rushing out of his room with his phone and wallet. A few messages from Sousuke popped into his inbox. Haru thought he’d just read them on his way there.

He made it to the living room, and indeed Kisumi was there with Asahi and—a little boy? ...Who was fast asleep on the sofa. Who was that? Haru had no time to ask. “Ah, Haruka-kun!” Kisumi called after him as he kept a fast pace towards the door.

“I’m in a hurry, talk later,” he rattled curtly, and then he was out of the apartment.

The trip to the Daydream bar only took ten minutes, tops, because it was a walking distance to Hidaka University, and finally he was pushing through the entrance doors, roaming his eyes around the place at once as he marched forwards, only stopping when crowds passed him with drinks sloshing around in the glasses they clutched so mindlessly. It was noisy, balmy, packed, and Haru couldn’t take any more of it. How he loathed congested places, hot areas, and most especially annoyingly tumultuous spaces. But he needed to—he had to be here—for Rin. “Yamazaki,” he gasped out the moment he found Sousuke pacing back and forth outside the men’s comfort room.

“Nanase-kun,” Sousuke responded to him, cyan eyes widening in recognition.

And so Haru asked as he reached him, “Where’s Rin?”

“In there.” He pointed at the closed bathroom door. “He finally got up to his feet, because he felt like throwing up.”

“Oh.” Haru barged into the men’s comfort room without ado, nudging past bystanders and other locals, fully uncaring of the aghast gawps and stares they shot him when he did just that, and until he spotted the cubicle where Rin was; Rin, who was retching his guts out into the toilet. “Rin.” Haru proceeded to rub at his back, disregarding how he should probably explain first why he was here, how he found out.

“Eh? H-Haru?” Rin craned his face a little so he could frown up at Haru, glistening ruby eyes widening in open disbelief, some type of horrified inspection flickering across his face upon learning Haru was actually here.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’ve come for you,” Haru told him regardless, trying to stay calm.

“No... Haru... Of all...people. Why you? Fuck, I—I don’t want you to see me like this—” He puked some more. Haru could smell the strong stench of bile, but he found it in himself that he didn’t care. What he wanted to know was how did it get to this point, how did this happen. Rin looked like he just cried too, like he—he bawled his eyes out before Haru could make it. Was he facing something? Some type of problem that Haru didn’t know of? What was it? Just yesterday morning... at the university... Haru saw him, he was okay, he was teaching Momo and Nitori, and he looked rejuvenated, and now—

Haru didn’t understand. He racked his brains for signs. Any signs of Rin experiencing some kind of hardship recently. He came out with nothing.

But... Rin could be drinking just for the sole purpose of drinking too, right? There didn’t have to be a reason. Someone probably made him drink—

And until it hit him, squarely in the jaw. The elephant in the room... Natsuya. Rage building up from within him, Haru glanced back over his shoulder, and he could see the shadow of Sousuke standing near the door, hands moving in a way that he was checking the time on his watch. Damn it. He must’ve been inconvenienced because of this. What were they even thinking, drinking so much alcohol that it ended up this way? Haru had never seen Rin this way...

Itching to know more, he thought about going there and asking if it was just Rin here, but he couldn’t just leave Rin by himself like this as well... not when he was... like this. Helpless. He had to make sure Rin finished with this first before anything else. No matter how shitty this situation was.

They let Rin drink some water. Sousuke lent a hand by talking to one of the waiters in the bar to fetch him some with ice cubes.

“Thanks, Sousuke,” Rin said after emptying the entire glass, save for the ice. “And... I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Rin. Just glad you’re okay,” Sousuke told him. Haru positioned to the side, not hoping to intervene. He was more concerned with the idea that they were all here. And mostly...

Haru examined the space next to Rin and watched the way Natsuya was mumbling unintelligible things under his breath, as if he was dreaming of something, making him wince internally at the sight.

So, Haru was correct with his assumption then. It was Natsuya’s doing, because of course it was. He dragged Rin into this, and then they had too much to drink. Now look at this... this moron, he couldn’t even raise his head. Natsuya was slumped over one of the long tables where he sat horizontally on one of the benches. Just looking at him made Haru sick to his stomach. And it wasn’t because of their silly animosity towards each other too, but just by the mere fact that he reeked of vodka and something citrusy. It reminded Haru of when he just turned eighteen and his father threw a party for him. Then he drank the night away with his colleagues from his job, and Haru and his mother had to clean up after them, his father talking very near him while he smelled of this. It made Haru’s head spin just recalling the dreadful memories.

“...You were unable to tell me where you live.”

“I’m sorry. I swear I’m never doing this again. Not like this.”

Rin and Sousuke were still at it, and the former just sounded so utterly apologetic. Normally, Rin would have talked to Haru first, but... Rin hadn’t addressed his presence at all, not even when he was the one who gave him a hand in the men’s comfort room earlier, ushering him towards the sinks to wash his face and gargle his stale mouth with some tap water. Rin had just been dead quiet the whole time while Haru was there with him, and couldn’t look at him for some reason. It could be because he was ashamed of what he had done, and that Haru had had to come here in the middle of the night to take care of things... But—that was nothing to Haru. It wasn’t like Haru wouldn’t do this for him? He’d leave everything and anything in a snap just to get to where Rin was, he’d done it time and time again, even in the past. What could’ve changed? What difference did it make?

Then again, Haru supposed that didn’t matter at this time. Rin clearly didn’t need any of his reprimanding (he was never a fan of it though) and whatnot. Simply being here was all Haru needed. They both did. So Haru wouldn’t confront him...for now.

In the meantime, Haru stayed back and let things be. Although he was peculiar to the concept of why Sousuke was here as well, like did he meet up with them on purpose or was it patently coincidental?—and Natsuya seemed overtly dead to the world, Haru refused to add salt to the wound.

But Haru must admit he couldn’t get the fact out of his mind; the part where this was the first time Haru had ever seen Rin like this, and get so smashed like he was. This was... another first. And Haru was too stunned to think further of it. Would Rin actually go all out if he wasn’t facing any trouble? What could be troubling him, if so?

“Haru...”

Haru perked up, his train of thoughts dissolving all at once. “Oh—uh. Rin.” He blinked down at him, and he was once again reminded of how Rin had looked like a few moments ago, back in that bathroom stall, the way he was so red in the face and eyes, kneeling on the dirty tiles and leaning over the toilet bowl, giving Haru both heartache and headache at how hopeless he appeared.

“Come...come here,” he whispered. His voice came out so eerily quiet that Haru almost missed it. If it wasn’t for how Rin’s mouth moved and his hands motioned for Haru to come forward, Haru wouldn’t have understood what he wanted.

Haru obliged then, rounding the table to get to where Rin was seated, dropping to the spot beside him, and the air in Haru’s lungs got knocked off him when Rin grabbed his hand from beneath the wooden long table and squeezed. “Rin...”

“Listen, Haru... I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been saying that a lot tonight,” Haru pointed out, albeit his heart was tugging so harshly in his chest he was afraid it might explode. Rin, despite giving off such an impenetrable scent of booze, still smelled heavenly from the perfume he used, and it sure was making Haru’s eyes flutter and his nose couldn’t help sniffing incessantly just so the fragrant would stick.

“I know, but I can’t help it. I’ve been so—so fucking stupid for letting this shit happen. It could’ve been avoided, if only I... I stopped accepting drinks from Natsu,” he whimpered out, shoulders sagging afterwards. He sounded so dejected that Haru kind of wanted to... to hug him. And not just hug him. I also want to take him home, take him to my room, take care of him and cover him with a warm blanket and just... Rin, please, I want you, okay? Damn it, I love you.

Licking his lips, Haru had to guide himself to mask his desire to do all those things to him, and swallowed. “Well, it already happened, so... Nothing we can do. Yamazaki and I are just happy you’re okay now, and we can finally get you home safe. You and...Natsuya.”

“Ah... Right. You’re right,” Rin mumbled, voice subdued. He let go of Haru’s hand, making Haru falter for a moment, looking back at Rin who was smiling so...sadly at him. Seriously...what’s wrong, Rin? Am I missing something here? I want to know.

Haru opened his mouth to speak, to ask Rin everything that kept on bothering him ever since he got here, but... why can’t I just talk? Why can’t I just give it a go? Since when did I harbor difficulties communicating with him? Before, it had been so easy to converse with Rin. Haru never had a problem with it, he could just spout all his feelings to him, he could smoothly convey everything to him through speaking, but now... It felt as if he was drowning each time, like it hurt to move his jaws all because he felt timid in front of this Rin. This older, hotter, bigger version of Rin. College student Rin. Haru folded in front of an adolescent Rin and it pained him to come to terms with it. It was so damn strange.

Just then. “Haruka... Haru. Whatever he called him,” Natsuya garbled drunkenly to their side. Haru’s attention was pulled in an instant, which was good. This was a chance for a distraction, he didn’t mind that it came from Natsuya.

“What is he talking about? Why is he saying my name in his dream?”

“Ah! Haha. Don’t mind him!” Rin suddenly exclaimed, jumping from his sitting position and speeding toward Natsuya, whom he shook harshly awake. “Oi! Wake up, idiot! Time to go!”

“Eeh? Rin... Ah, there you go again... Where were we now? You were just crying about—”

“Shut...up, man,” Rin gritted out through his teeth as he slapped a hand across Natsuya’s lips. “Err—Sousuke, Haru, mind helping me get us a cab?”

“I’ll go,” Sousuke volunteered easily and proceeded to leave the bar to call a taxi out the streets. Haru got up off the bench too, so he could give Rin a hand with Natsuya, who was chortling slyly, slurring words out that Haru couldn’t decipher. They made it out the bar as well—Natsuya’s weight heavy over Haru’s shoulder even with both his and Rin’s strength combined—the doors closing behind them, drowning out the noise and muffling the ongoing series of clamor emanating around the lukewarm go-to.

A car pulled up after a while, and it was only then that Natsuya’s hammered self realized Haru was there. “Oh, is this—Haruka? Ah, ahaha, Haruka—did you know that Rin—Rin actually, genuinely, totally loves—”

“Fucking shut it, Natsu. Go back to sleep!” Rin snapped as a whimper escaped his mouth as if he was desperately begging for Natsuya to just quit spewing nonsense. And he succeeded, sighing in relief as he left Natsuya to snore on the left side of the backseat, head dumped haphazardly against the window. Rin stared up at him and Sousuke to address them. “Thank you for saving our asses tonight. I owe you big time, damn. Haru, I’m—”

“Not another sorry, Rin,” he cut him off, shaking his head. Rin’s lips clamped shut. And then he broke into a smile, still a gloomy one, but Haru would take it.

“Alright. I’ll see you guys later,” Rin said at last, then Sousuke was slamming their door closed. The taxi pulled away from the curb, leaving Haru and Sousuke to themselves, watching as the car drove into the dim, silent road.

Haru thanked Sousuke and wished him well, for him to get home safely. Sousuke bumped his fist for it before heading the opposite path from his.

Kisumi was nowhere to be found in the living area anymore when Haru got back to their apartment, instead Asahi was napping on the couch.

Haru went to his bedroom, the thoughts of Rin clogging his brain once more, all the unanswered questions filling his head. The mortified bearing on Rin’s face flashing at the back of his mind, remaining unexplainable. Haru didn’t let himself linger on it, however, and instead called it a night. It was pointless now, after all. He could’ve gotten everything he wanted to know if only he had asked, but... he didn’t. Maybe one day he’d learn. One day he’d relearn everything from scratch, that he and Rin would be back at their usual, that Haru would return to the normalcy of being the closest to Rin, as it was once.

The next morning was a Sunday, so Haru had no school at all, no responsibilities. Which meant he would be stuck with Kisumi (with the addition of Asahi, because the guy had yet to go home), and his little brother. That’s right. The kid he saw last night turned out to be Kisumi’s Otouto, whom he called Hayato. He almost had the same pink hair as his older brother, although his own bordered more on peach. And they shared similar ultra wavy hair that made them seem permed sometimes, Hayato’s being more trimmed and Kisumi’s extra longer.

The kid arrived with Kisumi and Asahi here last night and would be staying another day because apparently, their mother tasked Kisumi to look after him while she took custody of their business in Saitama prefecture. But he also said Hayato would be back to their house as soon as possible. Haru thought it was perfectly unnecessary to follow up with that elaboration though, because he really didn’t mind that Hayato was here. The kid was behaved, much more tamed than Kisumi himself—if anything, Haru probably wouldn’t mind that the two switched places, even if that entailed Haru caring after a kid. Kisumi himself already felt like one, anyway.

They got a Disney movie running in the background for the kid, who mostly stuck to coloring books that Haru supplied for him just now—while Haru, Kisumi and Asahi sprawled on the couch, Haru who just woke up and was still releasing yawns from time to time, his phone straying close to him, Asahi who had been scanning a thick book with a reading glasses over his nose, and Kisumi who’d opted to tune in to the film himself that was long since abandoned by his brother.

Rin the cat joined them a little later, which reminded Haru of the happenings this morning, with Rin, Natsuya and Sousuke.

“Oh, yeah, I just remembered,” Kisumi began, facing Haru beside him. “Where did you go last night, Na-na-se?”

In one breath, Haru answered, “To a bar. Rin and Natsuya got drunk and couldn’t make it back to themselves, so I went and helped.”

“Ah, is that so... Well, did they make it home safe?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great then!” Kisumi giggled, returning to the movie in front of him, nodding to Hayato who asked if the crayon he was holding was red.

Speaking of red. Rin hadn’t texted him after what happened at the bar. Though Haru suspected he might still be asleep by this time... considering it was only half past eight. Or maybe he was having a hangover. Either way, he hadn’t slid into Haru’s inbox at all, and it made Haru a little anxious. His reason still boiled down to the previous qualms he fostered before he passed out at three in the morning. Because there was no doubt in his mind, Rin was dealing with something terrible that caused him such chaos, and Haru had not a single clue as to what it could be. Mainly because one, Rin never told him anything that could link to what went down there, and two, Rin didn’t act unusually, didn’t behave oppositely to his common daze, so there really was no telling. And obviously, Haru didn’t want to just assume and come up with his own conclusion, it wasn’t a normal thing for him to do. Which was proving to be such an onerous commission, because it would either go like this: that he heard it from Rin directly, told by himself in his own accord, or Haru forced it out on him, which he would...not do. Just because he wouldn’t have the courage to. He felt withdrawn lately when it came to Rin, which was driving him so, so crazy and bothered and—weighed down. Is this truly how I’ve become, after admitting to having a crush on a longtime friend? I’d be too shy to ask? It’s... it’s just Rin, right? We’ve had baths together before, we kissed once, he stayed over at our house one too many times and we slept in one bed a lot that I can count.

Yet out of nowhere... Rin left. He went to Australia, and then he came back looking so different and grown, even hauling two people with him, Ikuya and Natsuya, where he lived with one of them, and suddenly he was out drinking and getting drunk off his wits, gagging on vomit, all the while as he joined a band of all sufficiently, frankly attractive men, and Haru who used to read him so effortlessly well, who stayed by his side twenty four seven, couldn’t anymore. And it hurts to think now, that this was a parallel to what Makoto and Sousuke had. Like the two seemed so familiar with each other, like they’d been together longer than the average couple. ...Rin and Haru could never.

So much had changed in their friendship and closeness in less than four years that they’d been apart, and it was making Haru dolorous, so much so, and way too distressed that supposedly, it took him long pauses now to be able to distinguish that Asahi was calling out on his name after all.

“Sorry, what was that?”

Both Asahi and Kisumi stared at him for a while longer, before Kisumi repeated, “We’re going to the supermarket to buy some snacks for Hayato-kun. He said he wants some ice cream. Wanna come?”

“Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure.”

Asahi smiled at him, and so did Kisumi. Two identical smiles that did not just make Haru queasy but also nervous... Because this was them being sympathetic towards him, weren’t they? They didn’t need to out themselves with it, but Haru was aware about them being worried, right this minute, for his mental state. If this was one of those times, Haru would’ve presumably scowled at them and told them to piss off, but—this wasn’t it.

It might be a great idea to drop by the supermarket then, so he didn’t have to dwell more and suffer alone with such disheartening thoughts.

“Ah, I should’ve known!” Asahi cried as he pulled at his hair. He just got off the phone talking to his sister, while they were all on their way to OK Odaiba riding a train. Kisumi stood and held onto a handlebar as he doted affectionately on Hayato who kneeled to the seat, palms spread out and planted firmly on the window as he gushed over the passing Sakura trees in a wide open, bustling city of Tokyo. Haru sat next to the kid, with Asahi standing in front of him, their knees bumping as the subway train ran its course, the guy also clutching on a handlebar beside Kisumi, who was now gripping on his phone as he whined out, “My sister needs me home in ten minutes. Her husband went on a trip for work, and now she needs me to assist her, because there’s no one else to turn to to care for little Tsukushi.”

“Oh, well—then you might as well drop off at the next stop and catch the next train back,” Kisumi suggested. “I’m sure Akane-san wouldn’t mind if you turn in late by a few minutes. Does she know you’re on your way to get some groceries?”

“Yeah, she does.” Asahi sighed.

“Right then, so that’s settled!”

“You always talk and act so happily. It’s irritating,” Asahi grumbled to Kisumi, rolling his eyes. He slumped his chin over his hanging arm and stuck his tongue out.

Kisumi only laughed at the jab, glowing with his eyes squinted shut in delight, knocking Asahi’s elbow back with his own... The sight of the two being that way resulted to Haru’s heart constricting right off the bat, because he was like that with him too. They teased and played, poking fun at each other... Life was easy and undemanding. Not a scrap of complications, whatsoever.

Shit. ...I miss Rin. If only he had a reason to go see him right now. But he didn’t, it was a weekend, and surely Rin didn’t want to be disturbed today?

When the train stopped for the next station, Asahi waved them goodbye, ruffling Hayato’s hair as the boy beamed up at him, chirping, “Goodbye, Asahi-sensei!”

“Sensei?” Haru quizzed.

“Yeah, he calls him that, because Asahi once practiced on his teeth when we were out for enrollment. It was all for funsies, nothing too serious.”

“Ah... That’s nice, I guess.”

“Isn’t it? Asahi wouldn’t shut up about it for a week then, because he thought it made him into a legit dentist.” The guy chuckled as he recalled the happenstance, only calming down when Hayato pointed and asked him something regarding what he saw outside the train. Haru tuned them out, checking the time on his phone. It was quarter to eleven.

They made it to OK Odaiba at exactly 11:11 AM, and Haru was filled with gratitude for the change in backdrop every once in a while. While Haru strolled with a basket, Kisumi did the honor to grab some stuff off the shelves to put them in there. He got them some items they could use in the kitchen, mostly. Like ketchup, mayonnaise, wasabi, kikkoman soy sauce, and a couple more disposable chopsticks. Haru also got himself some cans of saba, as well as some vegetables that he fried to go with those.

When they found the ice cream fridge later, Haru let the brothers take their time with it, choosing to wander around the supermarket on his own. He scoured for some cat food on a different aisle, because he thought Rin the cat might be sick of eating only mackerel these days. One time Haru found the can he opened for her still left with a bunch of untouched fish, making him wince in the slightest due to seeing wasted precious food...

“Haruka?”

Haru swiveled around to his right, and—oh. So, he bumped into Natsuya who still reeked of alcohol, but not coming across like he would be tripping over to his feet at any moment (good), unlike when he last saw him wherein he could barely waddle, and it seemed he was shopping alone by the beverages, in front of the line of refrigerators. Joy. “Natsuya.”

Quick on his feet, the taller guy advanced towards him in such a manner as if it was urgent that he should. “Hey, hey. Uh. Shit... Did I say something odd to you last night? Thanks for coming to get us by the way.”

Odd...? Not that I know of. Haru cleared his throat, shaking his head. “It’s no problem.”

Natsuya’s gaze flicked downward as he gawked at the ground, acting timid that it had Haru a tad bit freaked out. “Listen, I’m sorry. We weren’t supposed to drink that much. We really just got carried away. We came to Daydream after practice because somehow, Rin hit a high note so we thought about celebrating it, and I—”

“Yeah, so... You don’t have to explain to me.” I don’t even know why you are. Or how come you’re suddenly acting nice.

“I know, but... just...” Natsuya rubbed a hand on his nape, cheeks flushing under Haru’s scrutiny, and it really, really baffled Haru because what even was up with this guy.

“Na-na-se~”

Haru sighed, just as Natsuya shot him a weird look. “Huh? Is that Kisumi?”

“Yeah.” He pursed his lips, and then he craned his neck to call over his shoulder, “I’m over here, Kisumi.”

Hayato was first to skip off toward him, wrapping his short lithe arms around Haru’s thigh, surprising him by the unwonted gesture. The boy didn’t pay him any mind the entire time they were in the apartment, and even when they got to the train, so what gave? Haru surveyed the kid then, mystified. And he noticed the deviant deportment Hayato was exerting upon staring up at Natsuya, who blinked down in puzzlement at him all the same. “Okay. Who is this little guy and why does he look like Kisumi?” He rumbled on the beat. Then he squatted down to level with Hayato, leaning in to—conceivably to search for more of Kisumi’s likeness to the kid. “He looks so much like Shigino Kisumi...” he mutters in awe.

Pulling the kid back, Haru emitted flatly, “That’s because they’re brothers, dummy.”

“Oh.” Natsuya straightened up, dusting his denim pants.

“There you both are. I think we’ve got everything we need, unless you still have more to—oh, Natsuya-san!” Kisumi showed up.

“Yo.” In lieu of greeting, Natsuya tipped his chin up and quipped, “So, you shopping together, huh?”

“Yeah,” Haru confirmed.

“Ah, cool, cool. ...Guess that makes sense. Tch,” Natsuya mumbled the rest of what he said. Haru paid it no mind though, he felt rather more aberrant regarding other matters, such as...

“Um, how’s Rin?”

With the question thrown, Natsuya visibly became despondent, eyebrows knitting in concentration. He licked his lips. “About that... well. He’s sick.”

“H-huh?” Haru floundered, aghast, because—

“Err... Too much alcohol in his system, Haruka. That’s why—”

Haru was unable to control his accentuation, it went absolutely leaden when he stated, carefully, “Then why are you out here? That means he’s all alone there...”

“He is, but—”

And Haru didn’t let him finish any more, pushing the basket into his arms, catching Natsuya off-guard. His jaw dropped. “You owe me. Get Kisumi and Hayato home after they’re done doing errands.”

“E-eh? Where are you going?!”

Haru didn’t answer and went for the exit of the supermarket. To get to Rin.

He fought his way out of the once again pervaded tube and climbed two steps at a time as he pushed through swarms of people, all to make it out of the subway in record time, making the run for Rin and Natsuya’s apartment that was blocks away from where he was. His phone vibrated in his pocket while he sprinted but Haru didn’t care for now. By the time he reached the fifth floor, he was a heaving mess, gasping for air. He came to knock at their door, already dreading, but when he checked the knob and learned how it was unlocked, his heart soared alongside his process of barging in.

And Haru didn’t know what to expect, but whatever it was, he didn’t think he’d find Rin sitting on his bed, leaning his back against the headboard as he hit the pads of his phone. His head snapped up when he heard Haru at the door, eyes going wide. “H-Haru... I was just—I just sent you a text message, and you’re suddenly here,” he breathed out.

Haru exhaled too, still catching his breath from all the running he did just now, “You did?”

Nodding, Rin stammered out, “Y-yes.” Then he pushed the covers off him, about to land a foot on the ground, but Haru halted him.

“Rin, don’t.”

“Huh?”

Haru started toward him, pushing the door closed behind him with a click. “Don’t move. Stay where you are.”

“Okay... But. Why?”

Finally getting himself to breathe out evenly, Haru told him, “You’re not feeling well. You shouldn’t move so much.”

“Oh—I...” Rin succumbed to his pitch, and he nodded obediently, sitting back again. And this was when Haru took in the entire image of him; his eyes alluded to droopy, making it apparent that he was indeed not feeling his best. His locks of raspberry were oblique, like they hadn’t been run by a comb for a week, and all Rin wore was an ebony tank top, and... for all Haru knew he could be wearing just a pair of boxers underneath those covers. The possibility made Haru’s ears go hot, fully and implicitly unprecedented; it had him forcing himself to shove away such perverted thoughts that followed to pop up, because he had got to focus.

Back to his senses, Haru ordered Rin, “Stay in bed. Have you eaten anything?”

“Um, no... But Natsuya went out to get us some food, I think?” Ah, that’s why he was there.

Haru, not saying anything any more, headed to their kitchen and started rummaging all the cupboards and fridge for something. They only had eggs, onions, some seasonings and rice good for two cups. He fired up the stove and slapped a pan over it, snagging a spatula from one of the drawers. “Haru, what are you doing?” Rin was suddenly standing at the kitchen’s entryway, and Haru almost burned himself when he realized he was right. Rin did only wear a pair of boxers, a dark blue one with faint embroidery of Calvin Klein around the garter.

Well, fuck.

“Go—go back to bed, Rin,” he tacked on, tearing his gaze from the sight of Rin leaning against the doorframe, with slivers of his chest peeking out from the low neckline of his tank top. “...I’m going to make you something. You need to fill your stomach and... and take some medication.”

“Oh... Um, okay. Thanks, Haru.”

“No problem. Just wait for me there.”

“Alright.”

Blowing off some breath, Haru got back to work; he cracked the eggs and whisked them in a bowl, chopping some onions on the side. He checked on the rice from time to time, glad that they actually had some here. He put some oil on the pan, just the right amount, and let the onion sizzle, making use of the spatula next to the bowl. Then he poured the whisked eggs to make a scrambled egg with tidbits of onions.

Haru turned off the stove when he saw the eggs already turning into a slightly cooked yellow, yet still appearing doughy and moist. Then he waited for the rice to simmer. He prepared some bowls and grabbed some chopsticks off the dish rack. Once done with everything, Haru padded back to Rin’s bed with a tray of omelet and rice, letting the food steam off. “Here. Then, where’s your medicine? For your head.”

Eyes wide, and cheeks pink, Rin motioned for the night stand. “Uh, should be in the drawer,” he murmured timorously. Haru couldn’t help biting his lip as he nodded and went for the small compartment.

“Okay.” Haru placed the tray over Rin’s lap, thoughtfully, his thighs hidden under the covers, then he went to search for his medicine in the small compartment, biting on his bottom lip as he did so... There were a bunch of random stuff in there that Haru found, like colorful guitar picks, old cassette tapes, some casino cards and whatnot. He spotted the medicine tray then, and he studied the labels before choosing one that he knew would make Rin feel a lot better than he was now. “I’ll just go get a glass of water. Eat up, Rin,” he implored this time, with a tone of finality.

“Ah, hai!” And so Rin did, picking up the chopsticks and breaking its ends to separate them with a gratifying click, making Haru feel giddy, grinning on the inside.

Coming back with a glass of water, he set the drink down on Rin’s nightstand together with the medicine and then collapsed on the foot of Rin’s bed. Rin chewed slowly, and Haru didn’t know if he should keep on watching him do that... perhaps he shouldn’t. So, he let his eyes travel around the room instead. It looked a lot better now than the last time he was here. There were no longer scattered clothes on the floor, no tattered vinyls, no empty cans of sodas, nothing. Alternately, it was squeaky clean, and looked rather cozy. Haru could probably doze off here if he stayed for a lot longer.

“Oh, you’re done?” Haru asked when he saw Rin pushing the tray to the side.

“Mmm... That was nice.” He took the tablet from the nightstand and popped it into his mouth, chugging down some of the water, before settling back on the headboard.

Haru took care of the dishes, basking in the feeling of flattery when Rin complimented the food, and then he wiped his hands right after. He also tidied up the kitchen a bit, putting away some mugs and plates.

He perched at the hallway after some time, just witnessing Rin tossing and turning by the bed. “How’s your head? Still hurting?”

“Uhnnh... Nah. Just a bit. Thank you, Haru,” he said again as he did a little stretch, voice sounding thicker and hoarse than seconds ago.

This time, Haru sighed in resignation, though he felt his cheeks heat up at the sight of taut, bulky muscles flexing before him. How did Rin become so hot in the course of three years? I knew I already loved him the moment we both turned twelve, but he was this adorable, snotty loud kid back then. And now—he’s become even more otherworldly. How am I still breathing? “It’s fine, Rin. Honestly.”

“Fine, you say...” Rin whispered, modulation husky as he gazed at Haru through his dark, luscious lashes, “How did you know I’m sick, anyway?”

“Ran into Natsuya at the supermarket.”

“Oh. I see... It really is a small town for us all. I kept on running onto Kisumi and the others too.” He chuckled. Haru walked back to Rin’s bed. He sat on it, Rin instantaneously making a room for him. “I’d invite you to slip under the covers with me, but you might catch a cold too.”

Haru’s heart skipped a beat, just seeing Rin smiling again. He didn’t even need to be under the duvet with him to feel all these...things. “It’s okay, Rin. I’m just glad it wasn’t that serious.”

“Serious... Why would you think it’d be something serious? I don’t have cancer, silly. I’m he—”

“Last night—that was the first time I ever saw you throw up like you were gonna—” Haru stopped himself when he noticed Rin frowning deeply.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like that. It was so— god... fucking stupid of me to drink so much to end up like I did last night.” Rin’s lips wobbled, just like how they did when he was about to cry. Or bawl. Haru panicked inwardly—it wasn’t his intention to upset him. “I was... so damn embarrassed, Haru. But, I’m not saying—” He sighed ruefully, biting his bottom lip. “...It wasn’t your fault for walking in on me at my most vulnerable, of course not. I was grateful you even went out your way just to rescue us. Sousuke didn’t know where we live, and Natsu and I had been beyond... smashed... to tell him, so he’d ended up calling you. At midnight, no less. Fuck. I probably deserve it then.”

“Deserve it?”

“Yes... I’ll even give you a pass to tease me about it for the rest of our lives.” Rin smiled down at his lap, some of his hair falling soothingly over his eye.

And Haru processed what he said... For the rest of our lives. The softly spoken words echoed repeatedly in Haru’s head. “Sounds good to me.”

“Ah. Glad you came, Haru.”

“Me too.”

Without having second thoughts, Haru chose to stay at Rin and Natsuya’s shared apartment when Rin kindly requested it. And most of their time, all Rin did was talk about their newly found band—either about how it was going for them, or how the members performed, and Rin sounded so excited throughout it. Haru couldn’t help taking note of the way his vermillion eyes would literally sparkle, his simpers borderline infectious, tugging onto Haru’s heartstrings one by one... causing it to pound stiffer than what one could label as normal in his chest, it was that compelling. Rin’s effects on him were; they had an entirely unique type of pleasure that Haru couldn’t, admittedly, quite describe.

The two of them were lounging on Rin’s bed now, Haru on an Indian sitting position facing Rin, and Rin leaning against the wall where posters and family photos scattered, knees bent where he lay his arms, and he spoke so good-naturedly about the guys, “I didn’t expect for Ikuya to be so badass when he plays... He looks so cool, especially with what he does to his hair once we get to the climaxes of the songs. He does all these headbangs and stuff.” He derided.

“Ikuya? Really?” Haru couldn’t imagine it. He couldn’t yet, anyway. Not until he saw it firsthand.

Rin nodded excitedly, grinning. “Uh-huh! I mean, I did see it before when we were in Australia, but I never knew he could still go rigid on the bass. Maybe it’s the hype when actually playing with the others.”

Haru hummed, crossing his arms against his chest. “He seems so gentle to me... So he has a different side, huh?”

Just for the heck of it, Haru entertained the thought and tried to picture Ikuya in his head—the reserved, reluctant guy who was self-effacing and placate—doing all those things Rin just claimed he did, and...for a moment, it made a bit of sense. It was true that people who acted indifferent on the outside walked amongst them (Haru was like that himself, so he could attest to such de facto), those who isolated themselves when hanging around troops they truly didn’t vibe with at all. But then, the likes of them, once with the right group and in their own league, their respective constituent, the realer and rawer aspects of their personalities eventually bloomed out. So it could be the same with Ikuya. He did open up with Haru, didn’t he? Just...about some certain things, maybe. He wouldn’t admit to having a boyfriend yesterday.

“Yep. And then there’s Kaede—” Rin involuntarily pulled him back to the discussion, zest in his assertiveness washing over the air-conditioned room, engulfing Haru’s senses, “—who goes absolutely nuts! He would just drop crazy tunes after another.”

Haru wet his lips out of things to do as he leaned a little forward, anomalous regarding this particular field, never minding Kaede (he already did show signs of being an expert to these things anyway, so that wasn’t a shock) (the guy just seemed like the type to go all out), “What are you guys playing these days?”

“Mmm.” To this question, Rin put a fist under his chin and ruminated on the answer, “...Some pop rock, alternative rock. We did a metal song once. Sometimes slow, romantic songs. Those kinda genres.”

And, oh. Right. “You like that one, don’t you?”

“Which one?”

“Romantic songs.”

At that, Rin blushed. Like, visibly, indisputably blushed, and...he looked really, really nice while doing it. “Uh—yeah, suppose so...”

A smile formed on his lips, and Haru purposefully let himself think out loud, “Wish I could hear it for myself.”

Silence filled the area, before Rin spoke up again. “If you want, you can come watch us next time,” he suggested mildly, peering up from the satin tufts of fringe that fell delicately over his electrifying gaze.

Haru felt himself swallow, making sure he did it subtly, because...this was it. His chance to hear Rin sing. “Oh? You won’t mind?”

“Yeah... If you want?”

“I do.” Rin smiled, and Haru could still make out the faint blush dusting his cheeks. They never left his supple face, making him look like he was glowing under some iridescent lighting. He was picturesque, subsequently a form of art. Haru might even reach a feat wherein he’d finish writing mills of sonnets about how much he adored Rin’s physiques, all because he was that sort of breathtaking. But this wasn’t news. Haru did know about all those people around them whispering about Rin’s gorgeous aspects and stunning appearance.

“I’ll give you a call the day before our rehearsal then.” Great. Wonderful. Haru thanked his lucky stars.

“Okay.”

A sigh escaped past Rin’s lips, his input a little quivering as he let out, “But I have to warn you, my voice sucks.”

“No, it doesn’t.” The door had opened slightly, before it creaked into a wider aperture, and they both perked up just in time to see Natsuya trudging in, Haru twisting his body around to see the guy better. His hair appeared windswept, like he plowed through some kind of storm outside. “Heya, guys. Haruka, I did what you requested.”

“Hm?”

“Oh, you know. To bring Kisumi and his little brother home safely? Did you honestly forget?” Natsuya mused, chuckling. ”And we also got you some of those... canned fish. And cat food. Your cat’s name is really pretty, by the way.” He winked.

Haru’s face burned—it burned so compactly he was afraid it might explode—right there and then. “Shut up.”

He heard Rin titter behind him. “Which reminds me—I talked to a common friend a few days ago, whose dog just had its puppies. She was looking for people who would be willing to adopt. Think we’re gonna need space for one more member here, Natsu.”

“Oh? You’re getting yourself a pup?” The guy inquired, as he puttered around the area, picking things up just to put them down again, as if he was in search of something. He hadn’t taken his jacket off as well. Although he had already put the grocery bags away.

“Yeah. Do you think the landlord would mind?”

Stopping what he was doing, which was basically rifling through some stacks of CDs on a shelf, Natsuya pulled a thinking face. “I don’t think so. There’s a tenant here with two maltese dogs, right on the second floor.”

“Oh, yeah! Mimi and Hana! Alright! Great.”

Something evil and mirthful flashed across Natsuya’s face as he drawled in question, “Are you gonna name it Haru? Because I’d be so down.” Then he grinned cheekily, and Haru just wanted to shrink. Vanish. Dwindle.

“Haha! Sure. Actually, I already told Haru about it. Right, Haru?” Rin put a hand on his shoulder, making Haru tilt his head to the right and catch a glimpse of Rin’s simpering face.

“Damn it, Rin... I told you it was a different Rin.” So, yes, Haru might’ve lied about this one. Solely to avoid getting caught redhanded with an impalpable crush, Haru debunked the subject matter by saying that he named his salvaged cat after that one member with the same name as Rin from the J-pop girl group, Atarashii Gakko ... And Haru didn’t even listen to any of their songs, not really, it was a downright hazard. He just googled some famous people with the same names as Rin’s and ran with it.

“Aww, look, he’s blushing!” Natsuya pinched his cheek, the guy who was suddenly standing nearby.

Haru scouted away, but couldn’t break free from Natsuya’s claws. “Tch.”

From behind him, Rin cleared his throat, and Natsuya let go of Haru’s cheek immediately. “Anyway! How are you feeling, man?” And the subject was instantly shifted.

“Better. What did you get from the supermarket then?”

“Erhh... the usual. Eggs, meat, bread, some other stuff I thought we could use.” Natsuya shrugged.

“Oh, okay. Sorry, I couldn’t come.” Rin’s expression sombered, and Haru couldn’t help directing his attention to him again.

“Nah, it’s alright. ...You can go by yourself next time.” Natsuya stuck his tongue out, just as Rin rolled his eyes. Natsuya darted around the room at large later on, once again ogling for stuff, right after he took care of the groceries. Then after some time, he wore a beanie over his head as he slung a huge bag over his shoulder, announcing, “I’m heading out, Rin. Won’t be back until tomorrow. Will you be okay?”

“Huh? Where to?” So, is Natsuya usually like this? Making plans of going out in advance and never telling Rin beforehand? This is the second time. The guy was proving to be more and more adventurous, impulsive and fickle each time.

“Eh, visiting someone.” Haru watched as the two leered at each other for a long beat, not saying a word to one another, like they were communicating with their eyes.

And until, “Ah, I get it. Alright, sure,” Rin conceded like that was that.

The taller guy nodded, and then he was motioning for Haru to come to him. “Haruka, can you come over here for a second?”

Feeling as if he needed to do what he was told, because honestly... Natsuya emanated senpai attributes... Haru obeyed. “What is it?” He asked once he was standing in front of Natsuya.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” And thus came the question.

“No.” I don’t have any homework, and my job at the cat café won’t be until next week.

“Would it be too much to ask that you stayed the night here, with Rin?”

Stay the night...with Rin. There was a pregnant pause that derived through that request, provoking the air from Haru’s lungs to just. Leave him, outright. Evaporate, because...

Bringing himself back to the now, Haru willed himself to recover as fast as he could manage. “Oh, um. Not at...all,” he murmured quietly, affrighted, unequivocal about where this conversation was leading to.

“Awesome,” said Natsuya, all lambent and vivid; he flashed his perfectly white pearls at Haru, such a luminous glimmer blinding Haru into combustion. He was immensely handsome. ”You can sleep on my bed. Or would you rather sleep on his bed?” When Haru didn’t answer soon enough, transfixed, Natsuya sniggered. “I’m kidding, hey, relax. You’re okay with borrowing clothes and all that stuff though?”

“I... I guess.”

“Even a toothbrush?” Haru pursed his lips, slowly getting fed up. Natsuya snickered knavishly, marigold eyes twinkling in larks. “I knew you wouldn’t be into that kinda stuff, that’s why I bought one for you! Yay! I left it on the table.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.”

“Hmm. What else... Ah, of course!” He snapped his fingers. “You can have fun in the tub as much as you’d like. I’m sure Rin won’t mind.” And Natsuya smiled knowingly at him. Haru felt butterflies wriggle uncontrollably in his belly—albeit he wasn’t sure if it was because of the tub, or...

“Ah, ‘kay.”

“Alright then. I’ll be off.” He beamed one last time, then he was spinning on his heel to head to the direction of the stairs. “Bye, Haruka.”

Haru sauntered back into the room and then walked back to Rin’s bed. “So—what did the rascal tell you that he couldn’t say to my face?” was the first thing Rin shot him with.

“He told me I could stay the night.”

Immediately, Rin sputtered and stumbled, blushing so deeply that it alarmed Haru. “R-really? He said that? But why?”

Gulping, Haru shrugged. “He didn’t say. But he basically asked me to. He even bought me a toothbrush, he said...” Haru traipsed over to the kitchen, and indeed there was a blue toothbrush that was still in a package placed carefully on the table. He took it and brought it with him to the bathroom, and—ah, he almost gushed seeing the huge tub adjacent to the wall of the bathroom, with an ocean motif curtain drawn back. It was white and massive and made of marble, and Haru could just cry looking at it. But he had to keep his emotions at bay. ...He put the toothbrush on the sink, not tearing the package open yet. He figured he could do that later.

“Uh, Haru...” Rin was standing up from the bed, rubbing at his nape.

“Oh.”

“Are you okay with that then? Staying the night? I mean, tomorrow is Monday, we’ll have school. You didn’t bring any of your... clothes or your school bag or any of that. Unless... you know, you’ll be okay borrowing clothes from me to wear to school? Sleeping clothes aren’t a problem, you know that.”

Rin’s clothes to wear to school... Everyone seeing him in Rin’s clothes. Everyone. Rin’s clothes. Rin’s scent enveloping him. Rin.

“I think... I’ll be fine, actually.” More than fine.

“Are you sure?”

Haru nodded. “Yes.”

Rin blew a breath, eyebrows smoothing out. “Okay... okay.” Then he smiled.

The rest of the afternoon played out just as Haru conceptualized it. While he had his sweet time in the bath, resting comfortably in the spectacular tub, to which Rin had spurred him on to do so (“Take as long as you’d like, Haru. I know you want to.” Topped with a sizable wink.), the guy opted to remain in bed the entire time, scrolling through his social media.

Whatever the effect of those to him... because Haru might or might not have heard Rin laugh every now and then. At memes, he informed, calling over the running water to be heard. Then he was talking on the phone with his sister, Gou, and after that he was saying the word ’mom’, giving Haru the idea that he switched lanes and rang his mother next.

During all of that, Haru held out in the tub. It had been so long since he’d last taken a dip this tediously, so he wanted to make it last. By the time he stepped out, it was around supper. He prepared them some dinner in Rin’s maroon shirt and inky basketball shorts, happily, smelling Rin all over him.

They ate together in the kitchen, sitting across from each other, Rin looking a lot better now... though yet Haru watched him like a hawk as he drank his follow-up medicine after demolishing his meal.

As they finished, Haru took care of their plates and sorted the area, letting Rin go back and wander around the foyer.

When the first drop of rain began outside, it became apparent to Haru just why Natsuya had looked like he got surreptitiously messed up by the wind earlier; the temperature trickled, the room sidling up. He asked for Rin’s opinion whether or not they should turn the air-conditioning off. Rin told him he could hit it up to keep the room affable.

“Hey, Haru. Wanna watch a movie?” Rin prompted after some time, just when they’d settled on the floorboards and tore up some packages of chips that Natsuya also got from the supermarket this morning.

Nodding his head as he grabbed one of the packets of Skittles, Haru concurred. “Sure.”

“Okay! You okay with this?” Rin held up his laptop where a poster of some...romance anime film filled the screen. The title indicated it so: Kimi No Nawa. Haru was presumptuous about it, he’d seen it off the internet, and heard some positive reviews. But Haru had never watched it.

“I’m okay with it, Rin.”

And so they took it to Rin’s bed.

Truth be told, Haru was never a fan of such stuff, because he would rather watch something cooler like a Pixar’s movie or something, preferably with funky looking monsters and ducks or characters similar to Iwatobi-chan... but not this. This was Rin’s taste. Therefore, to sum it all up, Rin was a sobbing mess after the movie was over, and Haru had to fetch him some tissues and make him drink some water, as he tried his best not to laugh, because... Haru didn’t laugh, but Rin crying over a romance movie sure was making it a challenge for him though.

He provided Rin with his own definition of comfort, which was to rub a hand across his back. And it carried over for a couple more minutes before Rin was guffawing and twisting away from his touch. “What are you doing? I’m fine, Haru.”

A little absorbed, Haru retrieved his hand and sat back, not saying a word. There was a pause, before Rin faced him again and this time he was wiping at his eyes.

“Na, Haru. It’s been so long since I last saw you be expressive. It was like... five years ago, when we were in a play back in high school, wasn’t it? And you were appointed to play an important role and I saw you actually dance and smile. But... I realized I truly never saw you laugh. Just what would make you laugh, huh, aside from the obvious?”

“What obvious?” And Rin suddenly grinned at him, and no—that didn’t seem good. Slowly, Rin advanced toward him, subtly setting aside the laptop further behind him, so that, what? So it wouldn’t topple down when—once he was tickling Haru—

“Rin... please.”

“Sorry, what? Can’t hear you through the loud downpour outside, Haru.”

And it was true. The rain had just poured heavier than earlier, the pitter-pattering sound of the raindrops against the sliding window becoming more prominent than moments ago, drowning such noises in the apartment, clogging Haru’s hearing senses and making it more difficult for him to assess Rin’s slowly levying tickle attack.

“Ha!” And Rin did his thing. Haru couldn’t—he couldn’t get Rin’s dangerous fingers off of him, he was too strong for him. Too persistent, god. But Haru fought it; the urge to laugh. He suppressed it with all his might. He was never the laughing type—and he himself didn’t know exactly why. I’m just not. I don’t find things hilarious or worth a second of my laughing box to stimulate. That thing rigorously alloted in between my vocal chords, just gradually gathering dust. The only time Haru almost laughed, like, cackled really, was when Nagisa suggested that they all address Rin as ‘Rinrin’. Apart from that, Haru could effortlessly stamp out the thirst to do so.

“Rin...” He breathed out when Rin managed to pin him down to the bed, panic-stricken when he realized his voice came out sounding like a moan instead of the regular yelp. And that struck him. That left him askance that he almost choked through the consternation, and—apparently, it wasn’t just him. Rin’s fingers that were once ambushing his sides screeched into a halt.

Haru didn’t have the chance to check Rin’s reaction, however, when they both fell down to the floor as they slipped from the edge of the bed.

Rin fell on top of Haru, as expected, and Haru was left grunting out his protests due to the looming ache on his back—all from hitting the ground, his eyes squinted shut. Itai... This was not how Haru anticipated this night to come about... This is definitely gonna give me an ugly bruise tomorrow.

When Haru dared opening his eyes again, it was to the suspended moment of just him and Rin, sprawled on the floor with Rin straddling his hips and the flaring regard that Rin was administering him from his eyes, trailing deliberately slowly along his nose line, and until...Rin was openly gaping down at his parted lips.

“Haru—” “Rin—” They said at the exact same time, and none of them took another stride from there, the both of them staying impeccably still. It was just the sound of the heavy downpour outside, Rin’s ragged breathing, and Haru’s loudly racing heart.

I’m not sure who made a move first—me or Rin—but the next time I was brought back to reality, I was kissing Rin. And it wasn’t the kind of kiss that we shared when we were twelve either... Rather it was the type of kiss that I’ve always dreamed of having...with him. The feeling was wet, hot and exciting. It is something invigorating and devoting. I might be turning obsessed.

Because, Rin—he tasted...saccharine. Sweet. He’s addicting. Like I could just do this forever. And ever.

But like all good things must come to an end, this too was no exception.

Rin pulled away. And in a blink of an eye, he was gone. Gone was his weight on Haru, gone was his elated demeanor, previously replaced by affliction, guilt and...regret. But why those three?

Rin… come back. Please. No…

Where did they go wrong...?

#like pools of water beneath our feet #lpowbof3 #lpowbof chp 3 #harurin #free!#my fic

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