#chicago movie poster goes hard

[datchidatchi]

Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.

[greensparty]

Talking with Fred Armisen

This marks only the second time (I hope not the last) that I have had the chance to interview an SNL alum (the first was Siobhan Fallon Hogan). Mr. Fred Armisen joined SNL in 2002 and ended his run in 2013, but he's made a number of appearances since then and even hosted in 2016. He has had a very unique career in that he began as a musician, drumming for the Chicago punk band Trenchmouth, and then got into comedy, which lead to SNL. As a cast member he brought musical elements to many sketches he was in. He garnered a lot of attention by becoming a cast member doing an impression of a sitting president when he played President Obama during the first Obama term. Beyond SNL, he has appeared in a number of films and TV shows both big and small, notably Wednesday, Eurotrip, Band Aid, and a number of Kevin Smith films (including Clerks III). He made a big swing as an actor on the limited series Forever, where he and Maya Rudolph play a married couple in the afterlife. He's also made Comedy Gold with TV's Portlandia (IFC 2011-2018) and Documentary Now! (IFC 2015-2022). In addition to his acting, he is the musical director and sometimes band leader on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Mr. Armisen still does comedy tours and he is going to be in Boston at the Wilbur Theatre on August 15. I recently spoke to him via zoom and he was just as cool and nice as I hoped.

promo poster for Fred Armisen's current comedy tour

Me: You have had such a fascinating career, unlike anyone else in SNL history. You began as a musician and then evolved into comedy and acting. At this point in your career, do you consider yourself to be a musician who does comedy? Or a comedian who does music? Or basically both?

FA: I feel like I'm a comedian who does music. Because comedian is where I really found my footing. Even when I do music, it's in the comedy genre. It's all parody and impressions and stuff like that. So there's not enough music in my artistic life to really call myself a musician first. Although music is a gigantic part of my comedy, I'd say comedian is my vocation.

Me: You have this show coming up at the Wilbur Theatre in Boston. You're no stranger to Boston. Just last year you were here to host the Zildjian 400th Anniversary Concert. Do you enjoy playing Boston?

FA: I love playing Boston! It's been a part of my touring life since I was in a band. When I was in Trenchmouth we used to play The Middle East. Always had a great time there! And then doing stand-up, I played Boston Calling [in 2019] and I really loved that show. I can't think of a show I did here that was less than spectacular. It's always been really really fun! You know, Boston looks so cool. Even though it's a little hard for me to find parking and stuff, I do like that it looks a little like England. It's set up like London a little bit. That's always exciting to me.

Me: At this point and time in your career, do you enjoy mixing it up by filming a TV show or movie and then going out on the road and doing some live shows?

FA: Oh I love it. I really give me an eclectic lifestyle. Like I'll do a fancy TV show for Netflix, and then I'll do a record store show where I do punk rock covers for like 100 people or a stand-up show at a theater. Then some weird movie. I love jumping around, it really makes me feel like I'm in many different aspects of show business. I love show business! I love performing, I love comedy, I love music. It's a weird thing. I've been doing it for a while now and I'm way into it. Like even a soundcheck is fun and thrilling for me. I'm just into it, I love doing it.

Armisen and some of his many SNL characters

Me: Looking at SNL history, there's always been musical sketches, i.e. Wayne's World performing with Aerosmith, The Blues Brothers, the list goes on and on. But looking at your run at SNL so many of the characters you played were musicians, i.e. Fericito, part of Garth and Kat, and Ian Rubbish to name a few. Do you feel like your style of comedy which included music was really embraced and supported when you started on SNL?

FA: Oh, in a big way. Right down to my audition, which was Fericito, who's like a Tito Puente kind of character. All throughout my run there I used music as a framework around the characters that I did. The show was really supportive of that. Some of the sketches were abstract like The Blue Jean Committee, these really weird ideas that the show was very supportive of. And we played the music live so they really wanted to make sure the sound was good. They - the show - put a lot of work into it.

The other thing I want to say about it is, it's what I grew up on. I grew up on SNL. I always loved SNL, I worshipped SNL. All of the stuff I did was because of the stuff I watched on SNL. I knew it would fit somehow, because of Candy Slice (Gilda Radner's character that was kind of like a version of Patti Smith), and I was a little kid, but I understood and wanted to be whatever that was. She just sang a song, there was really no joke to it. Eddie Murphy did one where he was this reggae singer [Tyrone Green] at an Elks Club and that idea of a performer somewhere that isn't the right place to play. Then, of course, Wayne's World. Even Sprockets had it to a certain degree, like when they're all dancing and stuff, that had a big effect on me. I didn't even know Mike Myers personally or anything but I could tell that it was influenced by Kraftwerk. And then it turned out it was influenced by Kraftwerk. So all the way though I really lived for what SNL was all about when it came to fake bands.

Me: Let's talk about Portlandia, the comedy you co-created and starred in for IFC. I actually worked for AMC Networks (the entertainment company that owns AMC, IFC, We and Sundance Channel) when Portlandia premiered in 2011. You could really tell early on that the show was catching on. I have to ask, did you have a favorite sketch you did on Portlandia?

FA: I loved doing Portlandia, which was also an extension of band stuff. Carrie [Brownstein] is from the band Sleater-Kinney, who are my favorite band so to do a show with Carrie is the best! My favorite sketch - we had these characters who were like these goth characters. Not even goth, more like death metal / goth mix of the two. Where our faces were painted with dark circles around our eyes. It was kind of scary. One time we did one where we were going to the beach, but no one's aware because we had these flowy robes and we see Glenn Danzig who says "sometimes in order to have fun you have to look a little lame". So the sketch had a real point to it and I liked doing those characters.

early TV ad for Portlandia

Me: I got to cover Sleater-Kinney's concert in Boston earlier this year. I said in my review and I'll say this now, that it is so ironic that the masses know Carrie Brownstein for her acting and Portlandia versus Sleater-Kinney.

FA: Yeah, it's such a funny thing. I guess there's a few people who know both. But I feel like over the last ten or fifteen years, it seems like there are a lot of people who do multiple types of entertainment. Like something just happened where you would see Jane Lynch hosting a game show and then also in a well-reviewed movie or TV show. A good example is Questlove is like that, where he's a bandleader, but at the same time he's an Academy Award winning director. So it fits that Carrie is known for Sleater-Kinney and Portlandia. She's a director too by the way!

Me: I, myself, am a documentarian. We both have a mutual friend in Scott Crawford, who directed Salad Days, which you were interviewed for. That doc and my doc Life on the V: The Story of V66 were on the festival circuit at the same time playing similar festivals and we both have the same distributor as well. Do you think the experience you've had being interviewed for documentaries was something you brought to Documentary Now!, where you were lampooning not just popular documentaries but the tropes of documentary filmmakers as well?

FA: Wow, that's an interesting question. [pauses] I never thought about it, but now that you mention it, it does feel very separate. Because when I'm interviewed for documentaries, I just try to help the documentary itself. What can I say in an interview that's on the subject matter. Where can I contribute to it without trying to make it into too much of a big deal. Like one thing I do is I always try to keep it concise. Just so I'm not lingering and talking about a band forever, keep it quick. With Documentary Now! it's almost like we're making fun of something that already exists. So they haven't crossed over yet, but they are very separate things. I feel like "let me do a good job being interviewed for this documentary" and the other is "okay, how can we parody this documentary that already exists".

Going back to what you said about working for AMC, that was an exciting time. I remember things were starting to happen on cable. Shows are starting to happen. A whole new world of shows. I remember The Walking Dead was so gigantic on AMC. To me, that felt like the first big show that really made networks re-think what they were doing. They had serious numbers, it was like there was a real pull audience out there.

Armisen in Documentary Now!'s "Final Transmission" parody of Stop Making Sense

Me: Absolutely. I was there during the run of The Walking Dead and Mad Men on AMC and then IFC making a name for themselves with alt-comedy with Portlandia. It was really an exciting time when I was there. But, I think it's very cool that with IFC's Portlandia and Documentary Now! they are very different, but your voice is very much there in both. I do need to ask one quick question about Documentary Now!: I am a lifelong Jonathan Demme fanatic and I was curious if you ever heard from Demme or the Talking Heads about the Stop Making Sense parody?

FA: Oh yeah. I've talked to David Byrne about it. Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth helped do a promo for our version of Stop Making Sense, the Test Pattern. So we've mixed our worlds together. David [Bryne] knows about it, he's very familiar with Test Pattern. I have some friends who worked on American Utopia, David Byrne's Broadway show, and just as a joke he said he didn't have anyone as an understudy, so he was like "well, Fred can do it" as a joke. We're very much in touch about that. With Jonathan Demme, I never spoke to him but I would think he would know that we did it out of love. We just wanted to re-create what that was.

I remember when that movie came out. Boy, I loved that movie so much. That movie also used to keep re-coming out. It was always playing at the artsy movie theaters. So you'd go to the movies and there'd be some Terry Gilliam or Monty Python movie playing and then Stop Making Sense. But I went to that original tour for Speaking in Tongues, I remember seeing that show live. Talking Heads and David Byrne will always be a huge influence on me!

Me: In 2015, I was at a film festival, actually Salad Days was at that same festival as well. And they had a big anniversary screening of Stop Making Sense. It was an amazing sound system, a great venue. The entire audience was on their feet dancing and singing along the whole time. I later read that that was what their intention was for the documentary.

FA: Yeah and it worked. The screenings they've had this year, same thing. People dancing all the way through. We're so used to, I grew up later on MTV so we're so used to everything being so edited down. It's pretty wild to sit through Stop Making Sense and it's a full song, then another full song - you can't help but dance. It actually does become a concert.

Armisen's Ian Rubbish sits down with members of The Clash in this LOL short The Clash: The Last Gang in Town

During our interview, Mr. Armisen took notice of my CD collection in the background behind me and asked about my collection and he briefly talked about his love of physical media. As our interview was ending, I thanked him and joked that next time he should check out my CD collection. He said "I'm glad you have it on your screen. Because there's a lot happening in politics and none of the candidates are talking about how we should be proud of our CD collections. We need to come to a time in our lives where we're displaying them. We all have CDs somewhere." I laughed and said "I think they need to court the CD vote". He laughed and I said "Wow - I just made you laugh, I'm so proud of myself" and he replied "That was a real laugh too by the way". I've had some cool celebrity encounters, but knowing I got to make Fred Armisen laugh is definitely pretty high on my list of coolest celebrity encounters ever!

For info on Fred Armisen

For info on his show at Wilbur Theatre on August 15

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

[bewaretheundead91]

A very Eventful Christmas Part 2: Wine and Tiramisu  

Summary: You are on your way back to Washington D.C. to spend time with your family for Christmas. On your way you run into a man from your past.

Duncan Shepherd X Reader (Y/N)

A/N: Christmas is around the corner? I’m sorry, due to my job I tend to hear Christmas music earlier than most. So I’ve been inspired to start a Christmas series. Subject to be edited and changed.

Warnings: (none)  a slow burn, inspired by cheesy Christmas rom com tropes...a lot of rom com tropes/clichés here...and plot.

Part 1

“Chicago to D.C. is ready for boarding,” A woman calls from over an intercom. “All heading to D.C. from Chicago may board the train now. The train will be departing in 30 minutes.”

After taking a glance up at the wide eye and smiling train attendant, you drop your eyes back down to the phone in hand, still angrily texting Erica, your cousin, about the free coffee you had taken from Duncan Shepherd. If only you were the girl you were 5 years ago, that made men cry when you had the chance. The girl that was brave and said what was on her mind. Fast forward to the present and your raging fire has transitioned into a timid candle flame. Chicago was too cold most days for a social life.

And he remembered my coffee order, you type out, misspelling the word remember a few times, out of typing too fast, my damn coffee order and he thought he could just talk to me. I was trying to hide from the guy and it was obvious. The audacity of it all, Erica responds ending with a eye rolling emoji, Did he say where he was traveling to? You look around your surroundings, there is no gray coat wearing man with soft wavy locks and a scruffy beard. You sigh. He didn’t say anything and of course I was not going to ask you text then shove your phone into the pocket of your coat. You stand up and walk to your train car. Your fingers grasp the ticket and you pull it out so that attendant can scan it.

“Good evening,” The smiley attendant greets. Her makeup is on point and her hair is perfect. “You’re seat is actually not too far from here, just a few rows down and on your left.”

“Thank you.” You reply stepping onto the train and instantly hit the heat on blast from inside of the cart.

You look down at your carry on bag to make sure it was still zipped and continue deeper into the train cart. Quickly you find your seat near a large window with a collapsable trey large enough to fit your computer. The seat looks comfortable enough for the multiple hour travel, being cushioned. You secretly hope that no one has the seat beside you. You sit down and make yourself comfortable. There was an urge to turn your phone off during the ride, but you couldn’t commit to that or the potential pile up of voice mails and missed calls from your editor or family.

“Estimated arrival time to Washington D.C. is…” You block out the rest of the dialogue and glance around the exterior of the train. People were still running to board the train, family and a cute couple walking hand and hand closely. You roll your eyes at the romantic scene before you. Young love around the holidays, good for you guys, I’m sure something will mess it all up, you thought to yourself and cross your arms over your chest, wow that was vile thought. I take it back, all of it.

Your mind wanders to what going back home would be like, your younger sister planning a wedding to be married to a young entrepreneur for a the latest electronic selling out off the shelves. Your mother being delighted to see the couple together and then nagging about how you have been single for years now since you left the D.C. area. That dreaded city, she would say you think to yourself, full of dreadful people, just like your late grandfather. Dreadful people you should even think about dating let along marrying. Washington D.C. has many eligible men for marriage.

The train had been making its way for a few hours and you start falling asleep with the ambiance of the train car along with the subtle hum of the train. Your face falls flat against the window and mashes against the glass, you were tired and finally you have a space to sleep. Your mind drifts off to the couple you earlier, than to  a series of different romantic Christmas comedy movies where young people fall in love and then to the cheesy cookie cutter, over formulaic movies you also equally love that would marathoned on cable. The movies where most of the main characters fall in love by Christmas.

The thoughts transition and you find yourself sitting on a couch sipping hot cocoa wearing a matching flannel pajama set. A series of knocks come at the door near you along with soft singing voices. You get up and answer the door to a group of Christmas carolers singling the chorus of All I Want For Christmas is You. Feeling a cool breeze, you wrap arms around your body and listen to the carolers with am excited smile. The group of singers, break apart a low voice starts to sing along with them. Your eyes meet the bright blue eyes of Duncan Shepherd who was wearing a red sweater with a large fuzzy Christmas tree on it and a big red Santa hat. He looks up at you lovingly holding a poster with large letters that wrote out “To me you are beautiful”…he flips the poster to reveal another one, “Than all the diamonds I could buy, than anything I could ever buy”…he places the poster behind another,“You are priceless, and I love you”. The heart in your chest begins to pound and you feel your face blush.

“Excuse me, Miss,” You hear a voice over the the carolers and Duncan. The carolers do not stop. You look up at the ceiling of the room you were in and frown in confusion. “Miss, I’m sorry to bother you.”

A hand touches your shoulder and you jump in your seat, colliding with the collapsable table. Before you can prevent yourself, you fall back and hit the window, face first clumsily. Finally your eyes open to see a train attendant holding a trey with a glass of red wine.

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” She beams. It was the attendant from earlier. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head hard?”

“I’m fine, but I didn’t order that,” You say sitting up in the seat. You rake your fingers through your hair smoothing the strands out and pat your cheek that made contact with the window. You look over to the glass and see a faint makeup print. “I’m sorry you have the wrong person.”

“The gentlemen in the gray coat sent it over,” She says with a smile. “He thought you might enjoy a nice red blend while you look out the window. He’s so charming.”

“Excuse me what?” You ask tilting your head in confusion.

“The gentlemen a few rows down.” She points out down the isle.

You sit up a bit more and straighten your back to gain height. You look down the isle to see Duncan Shepherd speaking to another train attendant who was handing him a glass full of a brown liquid. A frown scrunches across your face and you slowly slump back down in your seat, fixing your coat.

“Whiskey,��� You snarl, looking up at the ceiling. “I can’t take this.”

“You would prefer whiskey?” The attendant asks.

“No,” You say wide eye tilting your head even more. “Just please take this back, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I don’t take drinks from strange men…I mean strangers.”

“But he made it clear that you two knew each other.” She nods.

“Miss,” You look at the name tag on her blue blazer. “Ms. Jessica, he might think he knows me, but I don’t know him. So please just take this back or give it to him. Or how about have a glass of wine on him.”

“Oh,” She nods. “I see.”

“No,” You shake your head. “Whatever you are thinking…he’s an acquaintance and I’m not really in the mood.”

The attendant walks away with the glass of wine and you peek behind the seat in front of you to witness his reaction. The attendant, Jessica, approaches Duncan and shows him the trey with the glass of wine. Duncan was resting his head on his hand casually staring down at his glass of whiskey.

“Mr. Shepherd,” Jessica’s voice changes, it goes lower in pitch, like she is attempting to be seductive. You scrunch your nose. “She does not want the drink, sir.”

“Oh really?” He posture changes and he turns his head to the side glancing at the seat beside him. His wavy hair bounces and you mash your lips together tightly. “Y/N refusing a red blend?”

“Yes, sir,” Jessica responds with a disappointed look.

Duncan shifts his body so he can turn towards your direction. He quickly turns his head and makes eye contact with you. You duck down behind the seat in front you of you embarrassed, feeling your cheeks burning.

Please don’t come over here, you think to yourself, please do not for the love of God come over here.

“Do you have any desserts?” You over hear him ask Jessica. “If I’m going to drink this wine I need something sweet to eat with it.”

“Would you like a menu?” She asks.

“Is tiramisu available?” He asks.

“I believe it is, sir.”

You pull out your phone and send Erica another text, he just tried to send me a drink on the train. He’s on the train with me.

Jessica shortly walks back down toward your direction, this time she has a trey with the glass of wine and piece of tiramisu. Jessica pulls out your trey and places the drink and dessert in front of you.

“Mr. Shepherd was adamant that you enjoy these treats on behalf of himself,” Jessica says then glares at you. “Just take the damn drink and dessert so I can go back to what I’m supposed to be doing, please. I’ve got three cars on this train that I need to check up on.”

“Just leave it then.” You say with a sympathetic look.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Jessica says. “Try to enjoy them. They are expensive.”

“Of course they are.”

Before you sat a glass of wine from Duncan, another one of your favorites, and a big chunk of tiramisu, also another one of your favorites. The idea of Duncan Shepherd remembering those tiny details about you makes you annoyed. You groan to yourself and an idea pops into your head. To deliver the items back to Duncan yourself and walk away.

You unzip your carry on bag and pull out a compact to check your appearance. Other than your eyes looking tired and your mascara minimal smeared beneath your eyes, you look good for a long train ride. Your hair to your atonement was only mildly messy and starting to look gross. You close the compact and pull out you minty lip balm and coat your lips generously, then grab the drink and plate. Boldly you walk down the isle and approach Duncan’s seat. His head perks up, his piercing eyes meet yours, and a warm smile appears across his full lips. Heat rises up from your chest and to you cheeks.

“Please stop all of this,” You shout, practically throwing the wine and dessert onto his collapsible table. “I know that you think spending money is a personality trait, but it isn’t. If it is, it’s not a great one.”

“Y/N,” He says looking hurt and rubs the tips of his fingers across his lips. You quickly make your way down the isle towards you seat. You hear the squeaking of a chair and boots meet the floor of the train car behind you. A firm hand grabs your bicep. “Is it so wrong that I want to treat an old friend to something sweet?”

“Please, don’t touch me.” You say trying not to gain any attention. Duncan takes a step closer and towers over you. His eyes looking just as tired as yours, sheepish, and looking a bit more scruffier than usual once you get a better look at him. But you admit to yourself that he is still the attractive man that has made many women and men swoon.

“I just thought two of your favorite things could make the trip a bit more comfortable. I did not mean to offend.” His voice was soft, something different from earlier. You look down at his large hand still laced around your arm. He drops it. “Sorry.”

“I’m not offended,” You say taking deep breath. “I’m confused and annoyed. I didn’t expect you to be on this train, but out of course you expected me to be here.”

“I only assumed you were going back to D.C. because of the holidays, where did you assume I’d be off traveling to? Of course I’d want to spend the holidays back at home with my mother.”

“I just didn’t expect you to truly be on a train.” You say licking your lips. You watch as his eye stare down at your mouth.

“We are on a long train ride with nothing to do, perhaps we could talk.” He suggests.

“I was honestly hoping to sleep and relax before having to see my family.” You close your eyes and shake your head. “And I can’t be seen with you. Actually you can’t be seen with me. I don’t want to be affiliated with you.”

“I understand, but tell me,” He begins. “Who’s going to notice? Especially on this train.”

“That’s why I love Chicago, no one really knows me and I want to keep it like that. That is one reason I decided to take a train as well.”

“Is that true?” He laughs. “Do you really not enjoy being the center of attention?”

“Typical Shepherd.” You roll your eyes.

“But also who didn’t enjoy watching you,” He smirks. “You knew what you were doing.”

“You were watching a lot of people.” You say.

“Maybe I was,” He says raising his brows. “But there was one I had a focus on.”

At that moment the train starts to buckle on the tracks, making the individual cars move bumpily around the tracks. Suddenly you lose balance and fall forward colliding with the tall man before you and arms wrap around your body in attempt to soften the impact. Your hands meet the rough fabric of his coat, touching his chest, and you land directly on top of him. A grunt escapes his mouth and you feel his hot breath on your lips. You open your eyes to see your lips mere inches from each other and forehead mere centimeters. His eyes bolt open wide and his lips slightly part. There was whiskey on his breath. His hands slide up your back and you shiver.

“Sorry,” You say attempting to get up, but you fall between his legs in the process and chest meets his harshly. “I’m really sorry, this train, the tracks…”

“Can be bumpy, traveling across the country. It’s okay, are you okay?” He asks sounding genuinely concerned. He sits up onto his backside and runs his finger through his now wild hair. “You didn’t hit your arms or twist an ankle did you?”

“I’m fine,” You say finally getting to your feet. The heat flares in your cheeks again. “I’m the one that fell on you and your arms secured me in place.”

“You’re right,” He laughs. The train car shifts again and you fall forward against Duncan’s chest again. He wraps his arms around you holding you in place. You gaze up at him and shake your head. Honestly the view was not bad from there. Stop it, you internally scold at yourself. “Maybe you should sit down.”

“I was on my way to my seat already.” You say pushing him away. He laughs. You adjust you coat.

You walk back to you seat and sit down. To your surprise Duncan did not follow you. He was certainly a charmer for the kind of man that he was.

[acsversace-news]

For the second episode of American Crime Story season 2, we're going back two months to see what Andrew was doing in Miami before killing Gianni Versace, as well as what the FBI WASN'T doing. There are payoffs to things that were set-up in the first episode (the pawn shop and Max Greenfield's Ronnie) and a lot of set-up for future episodes. While Cunanan's disturbing psychology is interesting and gives this episode a fantastic ending, the other storylines seem a little too trite. Gianni Versace continues to be portrayed as a saintly, flawless human being while the show emphasizes how many times his murder could've been prevented if not for bad FBI work, gay shame and loud club music. Gianni's Health Scare The episode begins in March 1994 when Gianni visits a hospital and though it's not made explicit, the implication is that he's HIV positive and getting treatment. This leads to more details on the rift between Gianni's sister Donatella and his partner Antonio. She blames him for Gianni's illness because he sleeps around, but they agree to be civil for Gianni's sake. Antonio challenges Donatella by insisting that he's not a villain and Gianni isn't a saint. That's almost laughable, because throughout these first two episodes Gianni Versace is depicted as being quite saintly, a flawless genius who is friendly to everyone and even complains about the models for his runway show being too thin. The show's portrayal of Gianni Versace is more like the idealistic, romanticized version of him that exists in Andrew Cunanan's mind. After the murder in 1997, Gianni's body is cremated and Donatella flies his remains back to Italy, lamenting the fact that he died like this after what he survived. The whole opening sequence is a little too on-the-nose, a bit sterile and forced as the show takes us through every little detail of the remains being boxed up. Andrew Comes to Miami In the episode's third time jump, we're in May of 1997, two months before the assassination. Andrew drives south in the red pick-up truck the cops found in the first episode. He hears a news report about how he's the prime suspect in the murder of Lee Miglin (a tease for next week's episode). 

Andrew goes to a hotel to get a room and turns on the charm and the lies, using a fake French passport and rambling on about being a fashion student hoping to talk to Gianni Versace. He gets his seedy room and goes right to Versace's mansion, but the door is locked, naturally. He buys a camera and takes a ton of photos of the mansion, stalking his victim and obsession. Andrew Makes a Friend Andrew befriends another guest at the hotel, Ronnie (New Girl's Max Greenfield), the guy we saw at the end of the premiere who denied knowing Andrew. Ronnie is an HIV positive drug addict who has lived a hard life and is just trying to enjoy his final years. Andrew continues his habit of being whoever he needs to be with whoever he's with, claiming he worked for an AIDS charity in California. He also reveals that both his best friend and the love of his life died earlier this year (again, a tease for future episodes). While taking an outdoor shower after stripping down to skimpy pink briefs, Andrew waxes poetic about how Versace proposed to him, but he declined and they're still friends. Andrew goes on and on about what a brilliant creator Versace is and how he's the man that Andrew could've been. This is turning into Amadeus, if Salieri wasn't a rival composer, but just some delusional nut job. Andrew Makes Some Money Andrew needs money, so he spies an old man looking at him on the beach and approaches him. They go back to the man's hotel room and things get very disturbing. The man wants to be submissive, so Andrew wraps his entire head with duct tape, even his eyes and his mouth so the man can't breathe. Andrew dances around in his skimpy underwear, ordering the man to accept his helplessness as he struggles to tear off the tape to try and breathe. Once the man finally stops struggling, Andrew jams a pair of scissors into his mouth to make a hole in the tape so he can finally breathe. In the aftermath, Andrew enjoys some room service as the man seems absolutely terrified for his life. When Andrew leaves the man locks the door and calls 911, but he looks at his wedding ring and doesn't say anything. The shame of being a closeted homosexual prevents him from reporting Andrew's clearly psychotic behavior. With the money he earned, Andrew and Ronnie buy some drugs and get high. Ronnie fantasizes about starting a flower shop together while Andrew wraps his own head in duct tape, an obvious metaphor for his desire to completely obscure who he truly is. The Manhunt The show offers even more evidence that the FBI really dropped the ball on this investigation. Two months before the murder the FBI comes to Miami under the theory that Andrew , who has already killed four people and is on the 10 Most Wanted List, is heading there. The local detective (Orange Is the New Black's Dascha Polanco, who we met last week) wants to canvas the gay bars and hand out flyers, but the FBI insists that the flyers aren't ready and that Andrew's M.O. is going after older, closeted gay men, so they shouldn't waste their time on gay clubs. The detective decides to photocopy the FBI's flyer herself and hangs one up, but it's mostly covered by the end of the episode. We also see Andrew going to the pawn shop from the first episode and cashing in a gold coin. The woman is suspicious of him and looks at her bulletin board of wanted posters, but those flyers are still in the FBI dude's trunk. These scenes really hammer home the idea that the local detective was a brilliant heroine who probably could've prevented Versace's death if not for the FBI's total incompetence. This season may be a lot of things, but subtle isn't one of them. "Life Is Precious" A little over a week before the assassination, Versace has a runway show and he complains about how the models are too thin. Donatella criticizes him for not being cutting edge and modern, which is costing them magazine covers. Gianni, however, is simply happy to still be alive. He doesn't want to make dark and morbid clothes like Donatella wants, he wants to celebrate the joy of life because it's special. At night Gianni sketches some new designs while Antonio has sex with another man in their bed right next to him. Antonio asks Gianni to join, but he just tells Antonio to have fun. The next morning Antonio says he doesn't want to sleep with other guys anymore, he wants to marry Gianni. But Gianni thinks he only says this in the morning, not at night. The Night Before On the night before the assassination, Andrew is walking past the Versace mansion and sees Gianni. With proof that he's there, Andrew rushes back to his hotel to grab his gun and all of his stuff, ready to commit the murder. Andrew runs off, but first he gives Ronnie some money and tells him that if anyone ever asks if they were friends, Ronnie will say "No." Andrew grabs some dinner, but the server recognizes him from America's Most Wanted and calls the cops. In the funniest scene of the episode, this heroic bystander, who is black, describes Andrew as "the white guy who killed four other white guys." Andrew flees just before the cops arrive. Also that night, Gianni and Antonio go out to a gay club and Andrew shows up too once he sees that the lights are off in the Versace mansion. However, they don't cross paths and when the couple leaves, Antonio still insists that he doesn't want this anymore, he just wants to marry Gianni. Back at the club, Andrew dances with a guy who asks what he does. "I'm a serial killer," Andrew says, borrowing a line from American Psycho. The music is too loud so the guy doesn't hear him. "I said I'm a banker," Andrew adds, the start of an epic delusional monologue. "I'm a stockbroker, I'm a shareholder, I'm a paperback writer, I'm a cop, I'm a Naval officer, sometimes I'm a spy. I build movie sets in Mexico and skyscrapers in Chicago. I sell propane in Minneapolis, I import pineapples from the Philippines. I'm the person least likely to be forgotten. I'm Andrew Cunanan." For all of its flaws, that's a brilliant way to end an episode.

[ohmy80s]

Molly Ringwald Interviews John Hughes (1986)

MOLLY RINGWALD: Growing up, were you obsessed with girls, as so many of your male characters are? JOHN HUGHES: No. I was obsessed with romance. When I was in high school, I saw Doctor Zhivago every day from the day it opened until the day it left the theater. The usher would say, "Hiya, your seat's ready." And I just sat there, glued to the screen. Most of my characters are romantic rather than sexual. I think that's an essential difference in my pictures. I think they are more accurate in portraying young people as romantic - as wanting a relationship, an understanding with a member of the opposite sex more than just physical sex. MR: What about teen sex in your movies? You never show it in Sixteen Candles or Breakfast Club. Did you want to leave it up to the viewer's imagination? Or were you just looking for a PG rating? JH: No. What's the point? In Sixteen Candles, I figured it would only be gratuitous to show Samantha and Jake in anything more than a kiss. The kiss is the most beautiful moment. I was really amused when someone once called me a purveyor of horny sex comedies. He listed Breakfast Club and Mr. Mom in parentheses. MR: Oh, god! JH: I thought, "What kind of sex?" Yes, in Mr. Mom there's a baby in a bathtub and you see it's bare butt. And in Breakfast Club, there's some kissing. MR: You wouldn't believe how many people came up to me after they saw Breakfast Club and said, "So what really happened between you and Judd in the closet?" JH: Older people or younger people? MR: Mostly older people. JH: Yes, older people asked me that question too. MR: I never even thought about that. I did a phone interview and somebody said, "So, what really happened in the closet?" And I thought, "Why are you asking me that? What happened was shown there on the screen." JH: Yes. The only thing we took out of the scene was a bit of dialogue. You walked into the closet, and I cut away to the other story I was telling. MR: You did cut out one great kiss between Judd and me, though. JH: Too much kissing. I find that screen kissing wears very thin very quickly. I go into the editing room and say, "Less, less." Why watch someone kissing when people really close their eyes when they kiss? MR: I see your point, but I just thought you cut out a great kiss. Anyway, would a woman like Kelly LeBrock have been your ideal when you were a teen? JH: No. Too scary. MR: So why did you create the character she played in Weird Science? JH: Well, the object there was - MR: That she taught them a lesson, right? JH: You're making fun of me. MR: No. I'm sorry. Go on. JH: Two lonely guys tried to create the perfect woman. But, they didn't. They created a physical fantasy who turned out to be an actual person. They hadn't planned on getting a real person, just a great body. They were concentrating on the physical, which is only a very small part of anybody's identity. MR: Isn't it a contradiction to talk about how kids have more on their minds than just sex and cars and then show two characters dreaming up the perfect mate? That was purely sexual. They didn't even want to give her a brain at first. JH: No. I don't think there's a contradiction, because when those guys got her, sex was the last thing on their minds. They wanted a girl, but they had no idea what girls were. They didn't understand them at all, because girls weren't really accessible to them. So, their concept of girls was media-based. MR: Do you think that goes for most teenagers? JH: I don't think so, no. There's a very fine line there. And it's a line that I probably didn't respect enough in directing the film. You know those sexy pinup posters people put up in their bedrooms? I always saw them as being kind of silly and vacant. That was to be the point of the movie - that this glistening body in this semi-revealing outfit with this come-on look on the face is a real empty, pointless image to carry around or to look for. MR: So, which of your characters were you most like while growing up? JH: I was a little bit like Samantha. A lot of my feelings went into her character. I was also very much like Allison in Breakfast Club. I was a nobody. And I'm also a lot like Ferris Bueller. MR: But of all the characters, which would you say is most like you? JH: Most like me? I'm a cross between Samantha and Ferris. MR: How did you write the story of Pretty In Pink? JH: You told me about the Psychedelic Furs' song. MR: About Pretty In Pink? I just love that song. JH: And the title stuck in my head. I thought about your predisposition toward pink. I wrote Pretty In Pink the week after we finished Sixteen Candles. I so desperately hate to end these movies that the first thing I do when I'm done is write another one. Then I don't feel sad about having to leave and everybody going away. That's why I tend to work with the same people; I really befriend them. I couldn't speak after Sixteen Candles was over. I returned to the abandoned house, and they were tearing down your room. And I was just horrified, because I wanted to stay there forever. MR: Do you think you'll always work with young actors? JH: Not every time, maybe, but . . . MR: You won't abandon them? JH: No, I won't abandon them. MR: Do you think the Brat Pack's recent obnoxious image is deserved, or does the press just pick on them because of their age? JH: I think that this clever moniker was slapped on these young actors, and I think it's unfair. It's a label. MR: People my age were just beginning to be respected because of recent films such as yours, and now it's like someone had to bring them down a peg or two, don't you think? JH: There is definitely a little adult envy. The young actors get hit harder because of their age. Because "Rat Pack" - which Brat Pack is clearly a parody of - was not negative. "Brat Pack" is. It suggests unruly, arrogant young people, and that description isn't true of these people. And the label has been stuck on people who never even spoke to the reporter who coined it. MR: Such as myself. I've been called the Women's Auxiliary of the Brat Pack. JH: To label somebody that! It's harmful to people's careers. At any rate, young people support the movie business, and it's only fair that their stories be told. MR: A lot of people said in the reviews of The Breakfast Club, "Why should somebody make a movie about teenproblems?" I couldn't believe that. I mean, we are a part of this society . . . JH: I think it's wrong not to allow someone the right to have a problem because of their age. "People say, "Well, they're young. They have their whole lives ahead of them. What do they have to complain about?" They forget very quickly what it's like to be young. MR: Who would want to remember? I'm tortured. People forget the feeling of having to go to school on Monday and take a test in physics that you don't understand at all. It's hard. Right now, I don't think I'll ever forget it. JH: Ferris has a line where he refers to his father's saying that high school was like a great party. Ferris knows what his father was like, and he knows that his father has just forgotten the bad parts. Adults ask me all sorts of baffling questions, like, "Your teenage dialogue - how do you do that?" and "Have you actually seen teens interact?" And I wonder if they think that people under twenty-one are a separate species. We shot Ferris at my old high school, and I talked with the students a lot. And I loved it, because it was easy to strike up a conversation with them. I can walk up to a seventeen-year-old and say, "How do you get along with your friends?" and he'll say, "Okay." You ask a thirty-five-year-old the same question, and he'll say, "Why do you want to know? What's wrong? Get away from me." All those walls built up. MR: Do you think that society looks at teenagers differently today than when you were one? JH: Definitely. My generation had to be taken seriously because we were stopping things and burning things. We were able to initiate change, because we had such vast numbers. We were part of the baby boom, and when we moved, everything moved with us. But now, there are fewer teens, and they aren't taken as seriously as we were. You make a teenage movie, and critics say, "How dare you?" There's just a general lack of respect for young people now. MR: I think so, too. What were you like growing up? JH: I was kind of quiet. I grew up in a neighborhood that was mostly girls and old people. There weren't any boys my age, so I spent a lot of time by myself, imagining things. And every time we would get established somewhere, we would move. Life just started to get good in seventh grade, and then we moved to Chicago. I ended up in a really big high school, and I didn't know anybody. But then The Beatles came along. MR: Changed your whole life? JH: Changed my whole life. And then Bob Dylan's Bringing It All Back Home came out and really changed me. Thursday I was one person, and Friday I was another. My heroes were Dylan, John Lennon and Picasso, because they each moved their particular medium forward, and when they got to the point where they were comfortable, they always moved on. I liked them at a time when I was in a pretty conventional high school, where the measure of your popularity was athletic ability. And I'm not athletic - I've always hated team sports. MR: You've been sticking pretty close to Chicago, but now that you and your family have made the transition to L.A., do you think you'll go back and film everything in Chicago? JH: I think I will. I'm very comfortable there. It's out of the Hollywood spotlight. And I like the seasons. MR: What about what you were saying about the way Dylan and Lennon were constantly moving forward? Don't you think you've done a lot of movies about Chicago? JH: No, they weren't about Chicago. Chicago's a setting. MR: But, they're about suburban life . . . JH: I think it's wise for people to concern themselves with the things they know about. I don't consider myself qualified to do a movie about international intrigue - I seldom leave the country. I'd really like to do something on gangs, but to do that, I've gotto spend some time with gang members. I'd feel extremely self-conscious writing about something I don't know. MR: I think one of the most admirable things about you is that you do write about the things you know and care about. I think that teen movies were getting a bad reputation because these fifty-year-old guys were writing about things they didn't care about. JH: I love writing. When I finish a script, it's a joy to sit down and go all the way through it. It's a very private thing, because a screenplay is not like a book. When a book is written, it's a final product. But, when a script is finished, it's really just a blueprint. And it's an extraordinary experience for me to watch someone take what I wrote and imagined and make it three-dimensional. And it's great if someone adds something I hadn't thought of. MR: Would you consider yourself fashion-conscious? JH: Yeah, I think so, as far as I'm conscious of everything. I'm a former hippie, so clothes are important to me - your clothes defined you in that period. I guess clothes still defines people. But, I change a lot. I'm in my Brooks Brothers period now. I think when I first met you, it was - MR: High-top tennis shoes. JH: Yeah? But I've changed. MR: So how does your wardrobe define you? JH: My wardrobe is a hundred shirts, and I don't like any of them. How does that define me? Well, I get bored easily. I have a real short attention span, and that feeling transfers to clothes as well. And if I see somebody else wearing the same thing I am, I always think he looks better. I admire people like Judd Nelson, who have an innate sense of fashion. Judd could wear a bathrobe and sanitarium sandals and a fedora and look good. MR: If you weren't in film, what might you like to do? JH: I've always wanted to be in music, but I'm not talented at all. Now I just go to concerts, and I'm fascinated by the bands and their music. When I go to a concert, I can't believe that people pay lots of money to see a band that they obviously like and then they dance the whole time. MR: But a lot of people dance as a way of communicating. JH: You can go home and put the record on and dance. I want to watch how the band does it. I want to look at their faces. MR: When we went to see Squeeze, these girls were standing on their chairs and getting on top of people's shoulders to dance with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. They were right behind me and my sister, and we were tempted to do something violent! It really bugs me when people act like going to concerts gives them license to act like jerks. But I don't mind people dancing. In fact, I hate it when people say, "Sit down, sit down" when I want to dance. JH: I suppose it would be really alarming to an artist to play in a concert and see everybody just watching. MR: Oh, that's terrible! JH: I'm one of those who do that. MR: Yeah, I've been to a concert with you. JH: I'm not a good-time guy. I'm not one of those guys who says, "Oh, we had some good times last night." I'm just not. MR: But you wanted to be in a band at one point? JH: Yeah, but I'm too old for that now. Rock 'n' roll is a young form. People over twenty-five ruin it. This whole censorship thing has come about because old people are playing with a form that is essentially young and rebellious. Do you know how brilliant it was for The Beatles to break up when they did? MR: Yes, it was great. But I don't think rock 'n' roll burnout has anything to do with age. I just think that people can go only so far. People reach a point. JH: I can't deny people their art form. But you have to be challenged, and you have to meet that challenge. MR: What are your favorite bands? JH: The Beatles and The Clash are the greatest. I've listened to the Beatles' White Album for more than sixteen years, and when we were filming Ferris Bueller, I listened to the album every single day for fifty-six days. MR: That's the album I listened to all during Pretty In Pink, remember? JH: Yeah, I know. MR: How do you see yourself changing in the next fifteen years? JH: Growing older. MR: I know. JH: It's a foregone conclusion. What's next for you? MR: I don't know. I'd like to finish high school, and I'm totally late on everything to do with my SATs. I'm going to apply to colleges soon. So do you have anything you're dying to do? JH: I have a hundred things I'm dying to do. Make that a hundred and four. I'm going to write for a while. Going to see Pretty In Pink. Get to go sit in theaters and look at the film with great pride. I like watching you work - you know that.

[romcomathon2016]

The Big Sick (USA, 2017)

This week, a special bonus edition we've been looking forward to ever since approximately every single person we know told us the movie was being made. Thanks, guys! So glad we're now everyone’s "romantic comedy friend.” Major spoilers to follow.

Predictions: We both already knew what this movie was about, but if we hadn't, based on the title, we would probably have thought it featured a lot of vomit, and Kat would not have attended.

Plot: So, Kumail Nanjiani is...himself. He lives in Chicago, performing stand-up and driving for Uber. One night at the comedy club, he meets Zoe Kazan, an extremely charming white girl who’s studying to be a therapist. They start seeing each other, even though Zoe Kazan is all, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” because it’s clear that they just enjoy kissing each other so much. Enough that she’s willing to sleep on his heinous air mattress in his barely-furnished serial-killer apartment.

He's so into her! But has he told his parents about her? He has not. Why? Because they are busy trying to set him up with every Pakistani gal in town. Based on all the wife résumés Kumail Nanjiani is keeping in his cigar box, there are apparently MANY beautiful eligible Pakistani women in the city of Chicago. He basically leads a double life, wherein he dates Zoe Kazan for half the week and then meets his family every weekend for dinner and a prospective Pakistani bride. Until one day, Zoe Kazan finds the box, realizes that Kumail Nanjiani's been lying to her and they probably have no future together, and is heartbroken. They get into a huge fight and break up.

Very shortly after this, Kumail Nanjiani is bumming around, sad, when he gets a call from Zoe Kazan's friend: “Yo, I know you’re like, busy and stuff, but Zoe Kazan’s in the hospital and we have exams, so like, if you could just hang out with her in the ER for a while… Kthxbye.” So awkward, right? Yes. Yes, it is. And it gets even more awkward when the doctors tell him that she has a terrible infection and they need him to pretend to be her husband and sign a form to put her in a medically-induced coma. Oh, and maybe call her parents, too?

Soon enough, Zoe Kazan's parents (Holly Hunter and Ray Romano) arrive, and they are not psyched a) to see him or b) that their daughter is in a coma, obviously. Rough times ensue, including Holly Hunter getting in a brawl at the comedy club during Kumail Nanjiani's stand-up set, Ray Romano confessing to Kumail Nanjiani that he cheated on Holly Hunter and knows she hasn’t yet forgiven him, and (unsurprising touching-movie surprise) lots of bonding in between continuous bad news from the doctors. Zoe Kazan is basically on the brink of death, but then, thanks to a frantic conversation Kumail Nanjiani happens to have with one of the nurses, they figure it all out, and she recovers. But not before Kumail Nanjiani, grief-stricken, tells his parents and the entire comedy community that he's in love with a non-Pakistani girl, doesn't want an arranged marriage, etc., and thus gets kicked out of his family. Oops.

But whatever, he still has Zoe Kazan! Everything is perfect, except for that family-estrangement bit. Zoe Kazan wakes up. They embrace. END OF MOVIE.

Even worse, Zoe Kazan does not want to be with him, even though he has been at her bedside this whole time, because, understandably, her last memory is of their breakup. Kumail Nanjiani, devastated but understanding, leaves. But later, comes to a welcome-home party for her and expresses his devotion, including that he really won't be having an arranged marriage and would like to be with her instead. Aw! How amazing! She loves him, too! They can be together! END OF MOVIE. Unfortunately, Zoe Kazan still doesn't want to be with him.

But later, as they are both slogging sadly through their separate lives, Zoe Kazan going to physical therapy and hanging out with her parents, and Kumail Nanjiani making plans to move to New York with his friends, Zoe Kazan has a change of heart. Among other things, she sees the YouTube video of him talking about her during a truly terrible comedy set. She goes to visit him at the theater where she knows he performs his hilariously dreadful one-man show, with the intention of telling him she wants to get back together. He is thrilled to see her and accepts! They get back together. END OF MOVIE. Alas, he mentions the move to New York before she can say this, so she winds up lamely pretending she came there to "thank" him for his efforts during her coma instead.

Sooooo awkward, but okay. Kumail Nanjiani has other things to focus on now! He informs his family that he refuses to be kicked out, and, while they’re still mad, there does seem to be hope for reconciliation. He moves to New York and some time passes. One night he’s performing stand-up at a club, and who happens to be there?! Why, it’s Zoe Kazan, looking as pretty and healthy as she did that very first night in Chicago at that very similar comedy club. They make charming callbacks to their first interaction. Hope springs anew. ACTUAL END OF MOVIE -- FINALLY -- GOD -- IT WAS LIKE WE WERE AT RETURN OF THE KING ALL OVER AGAIN, ONLY WITH AN ARAGORN OF COLOR.

Best Scene: This movie was very funny and had a lot of good scenes. One of our many favorites was the very first dinner Kumail Nanjiani has with his family, wherein his parents suggest that Malala would be a more interesting performer than Kumail Nanjiani, and then Mom ushers in a prospective bride, all prepared to appeal to Kumail Nanjiani’s interests by making as many X-Files references as possible in the first 10 seconds of their acquaintance. Runners-up: all the early scenes between Zoe Kazan and Kumail Nanjiani. Terrifically charming.

Worst Scene: Every appearance of Kumail Nanjiani's slightly annoying friend/roommate. In a movie where pretty much every scene was great, he really stood out as the one thing we did not need.

Best Line: There's a conversation that Kumail Nanjiani has with Ray Romano and Holly Hunter about 9/11 that is SO FUNNY. Several lines in a row, all very funny. Runners-up include discussion of "good comas" vs. "bad comas," and Kumail Nanjiani commenting that Malala's stand-up set has "a lot of ethnic material, which [he thinks] is a crutch."

Worst Line: Nothing in this movie really offended our ears. Maybe a moment or two during Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan’s various love confessions got a little cheesy, but, by and large, hard to come up with a worst line.

Highlights of the Watching Experience: Well, the biggest highlight is obviously that this is Kumail Nanjiani's real-life love story!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, what a joy to be able to watch a romcom starring Kumail Nanjiani!!!!!! Enough said.

How Many POC in the Film: KUMAIL NANJIANI, OF COURSE. His parents. His brother. His many, many, many prospective brides and their families. Several people who worked at the hospital. The MC at the club. Kumail Nanjiani's friends were all white (and famous), which is a little unfortunate but probably pretty true to life, if you've ever, you know, seen stand-up.

Alternate Scenes: Maybe an epilogue in which we got to see Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan back together down the line? Honestly, we wouldn't change anything about this film. We just wish there were more of it. Those adorable pictures of RL Kumail Nanjiani and his RL Zoe Kazan that rolled during the credits? Loved those. More of those!!!!

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Worse. The poster is an uncomfortable family portrait that your mom photoshopped onto the Chicago skyline.

Score: 9.5 out of 10 good-coma smooches. While there were parts of this movie that were very emotionally stressful and felt like we were shading into indie-drama territory, it really managed to bring it back around at the end and be a romcom, plus, was funny throughout. Bonus points for the realistic, warm, and complicated portrayal of his struggle with his immigrant family.

Ranking: 3, out of the 84 movies we’ve seen so far. Excellent.

[buckyswinterchildren]

The Only Exception - Part 9

Masterlist

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: you don’t believe in romantic love, you find it pathetic. But maybe, you make an exception when you meet James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

A/N: this is way longer than the other chapters, but it is a decisive moment for the reader, and for Bucky. I hope you enjoy it!

Tags: @supersoldierslover @barnesandnoble13 @vivianbabz @petals-overdaisies @damnbuckyishot @brazien @siobhanrebecca @shamvictoria11 @independentgirl @elwenia @flaipa

(Credits to the owner of the gif)

A week after your arrival in Chicago, you are on the plain on your way back to New York. Duties are calling you so, it is time to go back to your place.

You had a great time with your family, or part of it, at Chicago. Sharon spent most of her days at work so, you were just with Steve at home. Of course you visited your mother and she also went to Steve’s to spend time with her “children.” Yes, we all know how mothers are: their sons may be adults, by they will be her children forever.

The words that were said at the hospital died there. Steve did not mention the topic of love in all the week, thankfully for you.

Spending time with your mother, with your brother Steve and sometimes with Sharon, you realized how much you missed them and actually being with them. But it is time to go back to your place, to the place you love, to the place where your life is.

Just three hours after you got off from the plane, you already have work. Since your band have shows in a few more weeks, you have to rehearse. Besides, you have a couple of interviews with TV and radio programmes.

“I cannot fucking believe we all agreed on the playlist,” Nick says with surprise as he appreciates the list of songs he just finished writing.

Cal, who is laying on the black couch and playing with one of the sticks of the drums passing it from one finger to another and with his legs on your lap, answer: “this shows we have matured, Nick.”

Of course you all laugh at his comment.

You cannot avoid quoting the famous meme: “sure, Jan.”

Albert is ready to start with the rehearsal. He has been playing some guitar chords since you gathered in the studio an hour ago.

The rehearsal come to an end, and you can finally cross out ‘rehearsal - day 1’ from your callendar.

“Do you want me to ride you home? The guys are with me in the car,” Cal asks you once you are outside the studio. It is funny how many girls are intimidated by Cal because of his attitude on stage, but he actually is a sweet boy.

“Thank you, Cal, but I am not far from home. I am gonna walk.” You have forgotten you were invited, as well as the guys, to the birthday of a friend you all have in common. Besides, you are tired; you had a really long day. “Just have fun, ok? See you tomorrow.”

Cal smiles at you. “Ok, take care, please,” he tells you as he hugs you. “See you tomorrow.”

Oh, how much you needed to walk alone in the streets of New York. Just you and yourself, as most of your life has been.

You plug in the airphones on your phone and you put them in your ears. It does not matter you just got out from playing music, you need it now. You actually need it all the time. What would this world be without music? Even if there is someone out there who does not enjoy music, he always has at least a song he plays in his mind, an many times, without noticing.

After pressing “play,” you find yourself opening Whatsapp to write to your friend Bucky.

But now you remember why the last chat between both of you was almost two months ago.

Steve’s accident and work made you forget for a couple of days about your argue(s) with Bucky.

And now, you realize you miss him.

You want to tell him about your day, about your week in Chicago, about your fears after you got to know Steve had an accident, about work. But you cannot.

What is this you are feeling? Pain and melancholy, of course, but there is something else when you think about Bucky. Another feeling that seems to come from your guts.

The days pass and you are too submerged on work, on your songs, on the chords you play, on endless but funny music sessions. But you cannot avoid thinking about him and it seems this new feeling does not want to leave you.

One day, after your interview with a radio station, you decide to find out about what is happening to you. Actually, you decide to accept this new feeling, and try to welcome it.

When you get home, the first thing you do is go to your bedroom and look for a huge black box that keeps all that is important to you.

You open the box looking for a particular thing, for a magazine. Before you find it, you take out photographs, tickets from concerts, notes from your friends, posters of your idols you used to have hung on the walls of your old bedroom, magazines and newspapers.

And here it is, the magazine you were looking for. The very first time you were in the cover of a magazine, two years ago, and it was the Rolling Stone.

You pass the pages until your reach your interview.

 “They make a good impression from the very beginning being punctual. At 9 pm they are sit on a big black leather couch in the huge living room of the hotel where they are staying in Los Angeles.”

You skip the descriptions and you finally read what you said that day.

When I ask about her relationship with Cal she quickly answers: ‘Whaaat?! No. He is just my friend.’ It seems to be something else between both of them.“ 

“Shitty journalists,” you think.

'There is no way I can have a boyfriend.’

'Yeah, if you pay attention, Cal just sings the love songs.’ As she says ‘love songs’ she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t want to sing those songs.’ I ask her if there is any reason in particular and Y/N goes deeper on the subject:

‘well, I don’t feel those lyrics. It may sound like I am a girl who is ‘out of the box’ for not singing those songs but I don’t care what others think. It actually is like that. My parents got divorced when I was a child and I experienced the break of a whole family structure; it was hard, and it was harder when I saw my mom and my dad crying. I had to learn to live in two different places at the same time, I had to get used to all that new and difficult life; I had even to learn to live with the fact that both my parents found  a new girlfriend and a new boyfriend. With time you finally get used to it, but the process is complicated, stressful. You wonder about yourself, you wonder why life has to be like that. And more if you are a child. So, I think the ‘main’ aftermath of my parents divorce is my hatress towards romance. I am not victimizing, of course not. I believe all those experiences have made me stronger and cold.

I have never been in a relationship and I think I will never be. I am a cold person when it is about falling in love and all that shit. I have my two best girlfriends, Natasha and Wanda, and they are happy dating. Well, I am not. I respect them, but I am just foccused on more important things than trying to find your ‘soulmate.’ She rolls her eyes again.

'I definitely think you don’t need a person to be completed. That is bullshit. You are you with all you already have: with your thoughts, your books, your music, your clothes, your hairstyle. You are complete with yourself.’

'So, your door to meet someone is completely closed?’ I have to ask.

“Never say never,’ says the quote; I don’t know if there is a door, but a wall -I don’t know which is worse [laughs.] I have not met someone who has 'changed’ my thoughts, yet. I have not met the man who is 'the only exception,’ to call it in some way. I don’t think I am prepared to share my life, and dreams, and fears with someone else.’

You know why you looked specifically for this interview, for this magazine: because of your words. You wanted to prove you still think the same as that girl from two years ago.

But, do you?

Now you know what this new feeling is. And you are afraid but excited too.

Without noticing, you made a click when Steve talked to you that day at the hospital. You clearly remember his words: “There may be someone out there who is looking for someone exactly like you. And I am sure there is someone out there waiting for you. ”

Bucky.

Nervous, you start biting your nails.

You get up from the floor, grab a pen and a piece of paper and you write.

You know what it is like to overthink a situation and end up doing nothing. So, you let impulse guide you.

How are you going to do this? You have no idea. Maybe following the steps of the protagonists of the romantic movies you have avoided. Or doing what the characters of romantic books do, (which you have avoided too.)

Well, you have read “Romeo and Juliet,” but we all know how it ends.

You put on your coat and keep the piece of paper in one of the pockets before you leave your apartment.

You walk rapidly, almost running. Your mind and entire body are experimenting this mix of feelings: nervousness, excitment, fear, joy.

Pedestrians and buildings have disappeared for you. You have one thing, one person in mind right now.

As you walk, you put your hand inside your pocket to check if the piece of paper is still there.

Fortunatelly for you, an old lady is coming out from your target building.

“Thank you so much,” you tell her with a smile as she keeps the huge door open for you.

“Your welcome, my dear,” she answers, smiling too.

You do not even waste time in waiting for the elevator; instead, you go upstairs from two to two.

Once in the third floor, you walk the hall you have walked many times before. And here you are, just in front of the apartment 17.

Your hands start sweating and before you automatically run away from here, you ring the bell.

And you wait. You wait with a knot in your stomach while you bite your bottom lip that is almost bleeding.

You hear steps coming from the other side of the door.

Here he comes… here he comes.

And the door is opened.

And your smile fades.

A blonde girl is in front of you. "Hi." Her eyes are wide-open when she sees you and notices who you are. "Wh-? What?! What are you doing here? Oh my God!” She is super excited.

“Hi, I am looking for Bucky. Is he here?”

“No, he is not. He just left the apartment, he went out there to buy. God, I cannot believe you are here. Y/N is in here! Bucky never told me you were his friend!”

You laugh, forcefully. “Yeah. Sorry to ask, but… who are you?”

“Oh, I am dating Bucky.” She rapidly changes the topic: “hey, do you wanna come in? I am sure Bucky will be pleased to see you.”

Reality kicks your face once again. You swallow and you start bitting your bottom lip again. The knot in your stomach is tighter now. “Nice to know he met someone new," is what first comes to your mind. This is not what you were expecting, at all. You have preferred Bucky rejecting you. “No, it is fine. I think I am leaving now. Can y-?”

“Leaving?! Oh,” she seems disappointed. “Ok, before you leave, can you sign me something, please? Or can we take a picture? I am a big fan of your music, I love you so much!”

Great.

“Sure,” you bitterly say. Once the pictures were taken, you tell her: “hey, can you… can you give Bucky this?” you say as you take from your pocket the piece of paper and hand it in to her. “Thank you.”

And just like that, you leave. Once again, taking the stairs; you cannot be here one more minute. You put on the hood and you walk back home, regretting the fact that you went to look for him.

She hears the noise of the key and stands up from the couch of the living room.

“Bucky!” she says as he puts the bags on the floor, “you won’t believe who was here!”

Bucky just frowns, confused. “Who?”

“Y/N! She told me she is your friend and she even took pictures with me and…” Immediately after she told him your name, Bucky did not listen to any other of her words.

“What?!” Bucky inquires. “She was here? When? Does she tell you something?”

“Yes, she gave me this for you.”

Bucky receives the piece of paper and he does not even listen to her words: “why did not you tell me she was your friend?” He just puts all his attention to the words written in black ink, to your handwriting he knows so well:

“Sorry. As you once told me: “people are dorks sometimes.” I have been one all this time."

[remembermemorablememories]

Saturday, February 16, 2019

post #404

ha ha 404

main points:

- wake up early to go to philly with mom and sheena

- visit grandparents

- walk around center city with mom

- honeygrow lunch takeout with sheena

- drive back home and eat honeygrow / got my diploma (sort of)

- catch up on thursday/friday blog posts

- call with dimitri, cae, simon and sam

- visit alyssa in philly! dinner and hanging out/talking

- chilling at home / health update

today i:

- woke up at 8:30am to my alarm. dad came in to wake me up and also asked about the lease since it was coming today. we got to the topic of how much i withdrew for checks and he said the broker fee was insanely high... :/ and he was right cause 15% of annual rent is a lot. but i had no other option cause it seems like most landlords work exclusively through brokers now. he lectured to me about spending money and how i should be careful. i felt bad, i hadn’t been lectured like that in a while like since high school. i know he was just trying to watch out/express concern for me though

- sheena mom and i hopped into the car so sheena could go to orchestra rehearsal. i ate half a bagel and a banana. sheena drove us to philly, mom talked to me a lot about her personal experiences searching for real estate / housing early on in her life. once we got there, sheena got dropped off to rehearsal, mom and i found parking and went to visit wai po and wai gong. i hadn’t seen them since christmas!! we got a parking spot that someone gave us with their remaining ticket time (like 30 minutes from 10:20am-10:52am)

we went up and i saw wai po and wai gong, it was really nice. i talked to wai po a bit about my asia trip plans. then wai gong sat me down and talked to me about health and taking care of myself :p and also wanted me to learn chinese (which i’ve sort of been doing trying to watch the chinese tv show). we brought them the poster sized version of the photo we took with our whole family in california which was very nice, they were both excited to put it up on the wall

- mom and i left around 10:50am to go back to our car, and we said good bye :( i’ll see them in a few months though hopefully in NYC. we parked it somewhere else close to sheena’s rehearsal place and then walked around center city. we walked by city hall and the surrounding block while mom took some pictures. while we walked around i was trying to figure out what to do for the day. in the morning i brought my laptop in case i decided to stay in philly for the day to hang out with alyssa later

cause either i could stay in philly for the day, have a call with friends about greece at 3pm then meet up with alyssa or

go home, have call with friends about greece, then drive back down to visit alyssa

- mom and i went to starbucks and she got a latte, then walked back to pick up sheena as she finished rehearsal at 12pm. then mom waited in the car while sheena and i went to get honeygrow takeout

just as we were walking over, marsha told me she got a notification from USPS that the lease wasn’t signed at delivery and needed to be picked up. dad also got the notification but was out at set building for sheena’s musical (i believe) so he may have missed it. but he rushed back and flagged down the USPS driver and got the lease from him, so we fortunately got that sorted all out :D

- i decided to go home so after we got the honeygrow salads, sheena ate hers on the car while mom drove us back home. once we got back around 1pm, i ate the salad. mom made some spicy noodle thing that she said was too spicy. the salad was pretty solid and felt really healthy. when i got back, dad got my diploma for my bachelor’s in the mail. he was unsure where my master’s was so i logged in online to check my student report. it said they were both ordered at the same time so maybe the master’s will come in later in the week

- chilled for a bit on my computer and also finished up thursday and started on friday’s blog posts. sheena went to therapy at 2pm with mom. dad was out at set building. but sheena got back around 2:45pm so she came to my room to play smash

dimitri cae simon sam and i hopped on a snapchat call to discuss tentative dates for greece. dimitri gave us the high level plan and also timeline (early september) depending on what cae and sam find out about grad school. it was nice hanging out with all of them on call again after a long long time :D sheena was playing smash in the background in my room LOL

- wrapped up around 4pm, then talked to mom and dad a bit about logistics. i decided i would just drive to alyssa’s cause it’s a bit far from the train. then talked to mom a bit about what she talked about with the therapist. she’s still concerned for sheena and hopefully we can help her get better soon

- drove down around 4:30pm, getting there around 5:30pm. i parked near her apt and she showed me around her apt. it was MAAAASSIVE. for 3 people 3BR for a very low priced rent. the first thing we did was get tacos at loco pez. it was a nice restaurant

at first it was a bit awkward cause we hadn’t talked in like over a year. but then after catching up briefly on what we’ve been up to (my chicago+seattle trip, her job, my upcoming job/moving to NYC, how our siblings were doing), the awkwardness cleared up. also cause our food came LOL. we both got 3 tacos each, they were pretty solid. walked back to her apt and just hung out in her room

she showed me some music she’s been making in logic pro x, the music had really chill vibes, like what you’d hear in a cafe (it was guitar + synth + bass + other beats). we talked about spotify and music (she saw some of my playlists from the spotify sharing feature which was cool), woman pockets, hinge, family friend food truck endeavor, smash, “now what?” feeling of after graduating

then we went to the living room to hang out / get some water. she turned on the TV and the wedding ringer was on TV. we watched that while talking about a bunch of TV shows (west world, game of thrones, bob’s burgers, legion, a few others, avengers movie). we also looked at some people who had graduated from our high school who now had children, and other friends from high school and where they’re at. it was a pretty fun time. i think i felt happy cause hanging out just felt familiar and nice to talk. lately i’ve realized how hard it is to keep in touch with people and this was another example of that. we meet like once a year but it was cool that we could jump back to where we left off. i think she’s one of the few people i keep in touch with from high school

i left her place around 9:30pm, getting back around 10:30pm. once i got home, dad talked to me again a bit about spending money and needing to be careful, ohio’s story with manufacturing with a company and not being able to find enough workers, GM and the reason they went bankrupt (tried to be too greedy after tariffs on foreign cars)

- came upstairs and took a shower and finished up friday’s blog post

it’s now 12:40am i’m ready to go to sleep. my eyes are barely open as i’m typing this, i’ve been waking up early ish the past few days. overall, a pretty fun day

also health update

i didn’t get a chance to pay too much attention to this while traveling but in seattle around february 7 (like 9 days ago) -- or maybe february 9...? anywho i think i noticed a dull ache in my right abdomen, just below my rib cage. it was kind of on and off for multiple days. and it was totally fine while i was walking around NYC with marsha all day / sprinting all morning so i wonder if the aching pain is just all in my head cause i’ve had that with bluetooth headphones. i’ve been feeling some random chest pains since i got back on tuesday but it’s very infrequent, like once a few days (each just being a few seconds and in different locations). but the dull ache in my right abdomen has been more frequent on and off, so i guess we’ll see where that goes

i looked it up online and all of the results are like severe stuff like appendicitis or something else... idk. i’m kind of concerned but if it still doesn’t go away after a few more days, i’ll try to go to the doc maybe

okay the end i am super tired

[pauldeckerus]

Guest Blog: Sports and Entertainment Photographer Monte Isom

Blue Demon Luchador for HBO Habla and photographer Monte Isom

Unlike many guest posts you have read here I am not here to pimp my own images or career. Rather, I am here to push how much money you make on your images, and most importantly the money you can make on photography as a career. Warning: this my contain the least amount of photo information of any guest blog post… but hang in there if you like to be paid for photography. Doesn’t matter if you are in a small city or Los Angeles.

Photos are like baseball cards, they are only worth what someone is willing to pay for them. Some may value a Jodie Davis rookie card and some may not – a little trivia there for anyone outside of Chicago alive post 1984. How to put a price on your images is a tricky business that many assume only photo reps and art buyers understand. I have news for you, the value of your imagery is between you and what the client is willing to invest to go to market with the message your images are included in.

Now how do you drive at that magical # that a client will pay and you as a photographer will accept? That is the million dollar question… or sometimes the $2,500 question. Getting to the answer starts with you as the photographer asking informed questions of your potential client.

The first questions to ask follow this format: who, what, where and how long.

Who? Who is the client? Getting a sense of the budget based on who that client is starts with understanding the scope of their business and how much marketing they have done in the past. Are they a regional client with 12 stores across 3 states? Are they a local jeweler trying to make their first marketing materials? Are they a multi-national corporation selling carbonated beverages on 6 of the 7 continents? We all know that the latter may have more budget than the jeweler. Start your creative fee on what you think the client will and can pay per day.

What? How is the work going to used? Is it Out Of Home/Outdoor (OOH), Point Of Purchase (POP), print, digital only, internal, broadcast, Business to Business (B2B) or any combination thereof? If a client is at the stage of pricing photographers, then most of the time they also have a media plan of how they are intending to use the ads.

More and more clients are asking for unlimited use in all media in perpetuity. This tells you one of three things:

They are planning on using the ads for a huge integrated media buy across many mediums.

They do not know what their media needs are, so they just want to be covered from the beginning.

Or their company’s lawyers said that is what they were supposed to ask for.

It is your job to find out which of the three it is. Often times you can get to that answer by suggesting in the initial reach out that you can quote for unlimited use in all media in perpetuity (often known as a buyout, complete buyout or all rights), but that usually is too expensive for a client’s budget. As a solution you can quote for more limited usage rights that include a time period and more specific media so the bottom line will be more approachable. This is when the client’s request goes from being vague to giving you a better grasp of their intentions. If you are not familiar with the usage terms I started this section with, it would be to your advantage to become versed in them stat so you know what you are talking about. 

Where? Where are the images going to appear? This refers to locality. In Chicago only, in the state of Maryland, USA, North America, Asia Pacific, worldwide? The territory also indicates how big of a campaign you are working with and how much these images are worth. Now Maryland does not mean 1/50th of the price that USA would garner. Think of it like buying socks. You cannot buy 50 pair at the same the price per pair of 1 pair. Anyone in the world would pay more for 1 pair vs bulk rate on 5 pair or even 10 pair, let alone 25 pair.

For instance, the images below were licensed for 7 countries specifically. Wieden + Kennedy, the advertising agency, and EA Sports, the client, knew that the imagery would appear in only 7 countries and would tailor the colors and text to each country the ads would appear. This is a case of an agency and client knowing specifics regarding their media buy. Hats off to their strategy department prior to calling a photographer. But these are the things you are sniffing out before giving a quote. This saved them money by not asking for worldwide usage and got specific.

Brazilian soccer fan splashed with paint. Photo by Monte Isom for EA Sports World Cup 2010

Brazilian soccer fan splashed with France’s colors. Photo by Monte Isom for EA Sports World Cup 2010

How Long? It is exactly what the title of this section suggests… How long does said media plan to be in circulation? 3 of 5 times the client will expand the length of usage or territory if the campaign is successful. If you have given unlimited use in all media in perpetuity, a complete full buyout of all rights, then you have given up any possibility to make more money based on the success of an ad.

Entertainment photography for a movie poster will always be a complete buyout as that image will always be associated with that movie or project. For instance, my work for HBO’s Hard Knocks falls under this situation. The client knows that it will appear in billboards, in print, digital and on HBO GO, which may keep that program available forever. We price the image on the front end understanding that I will never receive any renewal license for the work.

Photo of Hard Knocks one sheet for HBO 2018 Cleveland Browns. Photo by Monte Isom.

Hard Knocks artwork appearing on HBO GO navigation. Photo by Monte Isom

Billboard of Hard Knocks one sheet for HBO 2018 Cleveland Browns. Photo by Monte Isom

With these four questions, you will have enough working information to then assemble the usage and licensing to put in a bid. It is also helpful to gauge your usage fees in relationship to your creative fee/day rate to shoot. It is difficult for a client to understand you charging $25,000 usage if your day rate is only $750.

You my think you are not “big time” enough to license your work and simply include usage in your day rate. I only say you are selling yourself short.

You as a photographer are only worth as much as you are willing to convince your client to pay you. If you feel your days work is worth $85 then that is what you worth. It is your confidence based on information that will dictate your fee and usage $$$ regardless of the market you are in.

For example ask Gregg Shipman, photographer from Tulsa, OK. He purchased my tutorial Making Real Money: The Business of Commercial Photography, and after watching the tutorial, he increased his a bid for a local client by $26,000 from where he was going to bid prior to heeding advice from the tutorial. If you think you are operating in too small of a market for this information to help you, then you have never been to Tulsa.

Monte Isom is a sports and entertainment photographer based in NYC who loves to share information about the business of photography. He offers a 14-hour video tutorial covering in-depth and with real life examples of estimating, invoicing, marketing your work, and even taxes. Isom interviews people who actually hire photographers and gets extremely valuable information working photographers need. This tutorial can be purchased here.

Monte’s photography can be viewed at MonteIsom.com, and you can keep up with him on Instagram and Twitter.

The post Guest Blog: Sports and Entertainment Photographer Monte Isom appeared first on Scott Kelby's Photoshop Insider.

from Photography News https://scottkelby.com/guest-blog-sports-and-entertainment-photographer-monte-isom/

[astudentscribe-blog]

Tech Dopes and Politics

https://www.recode.net/2017/7/3/15904484/pincus-hoffman-linkedin-zynga-clinton-win-the-future-democrats-dnc-trump

This became MUCH longer than I thought, and yeah, it’s a slog.

Oh, where to begin with this shitstorm. Let’s start with some snark and then move onto more serious concerns (though really, it’s not like those are going to be held too far apart because good lord).

This is the kind of idea that two dopes in a sitcom or movie would be talking about to anyone who would listen. They’re young, white, male, and rich, though not necessarily in that order. They’re tired with politics or the delivery business or media - really, the exact what they’re tired of doesn’t matter so much as the disdain for “X as usual” (which they never really define nor care to). They’ve got this great idea though - “what if you could change the way X worked with just a click? Introducing, Win The Future! (with a giant poster board of a “WTF” logo in simplistic font, probably with some kind of geometric-esque symbol for branding)”

Everyone, except maybe the most gullible person, or someone who has no idea how politics or the internet work, in the room look at these two like they’re probably high. They never get mentioned again, except as a brick joke several acts later, and only in a positive light if the writers are trying a “take that” at consumerism and such. You’ve probably seen something like this in numerous versions of media, enough that I don’t even have to really give a specific scene because the idea of two rich novices trying to tell everyone EXACTLY what will fix their problems is built into satiric writing. Shit, the Big Bang Theory’s probably done this more times than years I’ve been alive.

In this article? Played completely straight. No winks, no asides (except one kinda-sorta-maybe), just two scrappy underdogs with degrees from little-known universities like UPenn, Harvard, Stanford, and Oxford, armed with only $5 billion between themselves, trying to change the world. The underdogs in question: Mark Pincus, co-founder of Zynga (of Farmville fame, among others), and Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn (the eternal punchline of social media platforms).

I’m trying not to dip into ad hominem too much here because there are plenty of smart, compassionate, self-aware people who happen to be wealthy, I’m sure. Not most of them and certainly not the ones you hear the most about, but I’m willing to grant that not everyone with an income over $250k a year is an abominable moron divested from reality. But as the tone may suggest, I’m skeptical.

And it certainly does little to suggest you fit in that category when you spout this nonsense:  

“It’s become this competitive insider’s world,” said Pincus, who has donated nearly $2.5 million to candidates and causes, according to federal records. "Whether it’s me or my family and friends … we just feel - we’ve always felt - left out. It just feels like the bar is so high for any of us to have a voice and choice.”

Setting aside for a moment the gurgling rage that threatens to dispose of my ability to construct coherent thought, the lack of self-awareness in those three sentences is almost staggeringly funny. It almost makes me think the writer was trying to slip an aside in about how absurd that statement is, coming from that source, but given a) it’s from recode and b) the generally positive tone of the piece, it seems unlikely.

Mark Pincus is from the neighborhood in Chicago were the terms “Trixie” and “Chad” sprung up to describe the young affluent type who was as vapid as they were wealthy, and boy does it seem to fit. Pincus’ career tab on his wiki page goes, “Before he became an entrepreneur, Pincus worked in venture capital and financial services,” which is shorthand for ‘he wasn’t quite rich enough to buy an island, but enough to make some really dumb purchases at the yacht dealership” and was rich enough to be “an early investor’ in basically every major social media platform of the early-00s. Richard Hoffman has a similar setup, growing up in Palo Alto and Berkeley, attending Stanford and Oxford, becoming an “angel investor” and investing in too many startups to list here for practical purposes. They are, if you hadn’t guessed, both white, live/work in the Silicon Valley area, and incredibly well-connected (Hoffman’s a member of the Bilderberg Group, if you ever want to fantasize about the closest thing to the Illuminati in real life).

This is not to diminish anything good either of them has done. Jury’s out on social gaming’s ultimate effect on society, but I lean towards neutral at worst, and it’s been helpful to people in all sorts of ways, and Zynga upended the market and general consensus on that. Hoffman, while being one of the guys behind PayPal (yeah, another one), a member of Microsoft’s board and has a history of investments in Facebook and Airbnb, is probably most notable for a number of tech-related philanthropic endeavors and was the money behind Crisis Text Line.

The notion they’re advocating, of a more democratic process, is not a bad one at all and if we’re choosing between folks like these two and Peter Thiel or even Mark “I’m So Normal Guys Look I’m Going To Iowa” Zuckerberg, I’m with Hoffman and Pincus any day (Never mind that a world relying on the deep pockets of tech billionaires for political reform makes me gag). But to call these two anything but “insiders” is a fundamental failure to grasp how much power and access that the people with lots of money (remember: $5 billion between them) have compared to the vast majority of voters in this country.

And, you guessed it, it gets worse. The only platform items that the WTF (I still cannot fucking believe) have committed to far are “Whether or not they believe engineering degrees should be free to all Americans, and if they oppose lawmakers who don’t call for Trump’s immediate impeachment” per the article above. Which, uh, that’s cool how about college for everyone not just engineers (while super important and underappreciated), and second, again, uh yeah but that has the same effect as threatening to boycott space travel: the people who agree with you are already there, the people who dislike it aren’t gonna move (especially for you), and there’s really no practical effect that’ll happen in the near term (i.e. Elon Musk loses it Howard Hughes-style, Spruce Goosing our way to space and when a Democratic majority takes the House, for space and Trump respectively).

Worse, in the same vein as saying they’ve “felt left out” the article details an approach that is, well, concerning.

In politics, though, Pincus sees a similarly — needlessly — complex game. Replace the Xbox controller maybe with the impenetrable machinations of Congress, where bills and markups and votes are often the stuff of hard-to-discern theater. So, too, are the costs of playing increasingly high at a time when political money can — and does — flow uninhibited to campaigns in the forms of hard-to-track nonprofits and super PACs.

Simple things are not bad - simple ideals like universal health care, college tuition for all, anti-discrimination laws, equal pay for equal work, guaranteeing the right to vote for every person in the Constitution are all ones I’ve heard Democrats talk about and I for one embrace enthusiastically. But this isn’t about simplicity of ideal, this is simplicity of process - and democracy, even the lacking measures that are so often twisted or bandied about for gaining power, is inherently messy and complicated. It’s designed that way, because if something is simple, then it is easy to manipulate and seize control of. Tech guys, more so than most businesses it seems, are all about efficiency - getting down to basics, streamlining workflow and production, which again! All good things! But politics and civic service is not a business, and it cannot be operated on the same principle of a business - those in power have to be held accountable, and that means you will inevitably sacrifice some efficiency. Not the kind of partisan wrangling and obstructionism (again rooted in accumulating power rather than serving the people or process, but that’s another rant for another day) that has been a problem for the last two decades, and for both parties but predominantly the GOP; complexity is not a vice - if we wanted simple and efficient, we’ve had plenty of examples and most of them we’ve fought wars again at one point or another.

No, this kind of simple suggests that you just don’t want to learn or be troubled to get your hands dirty in what you see as a nasty business, the holier-than-thou kind of simple. It’s the kind of simple where you run into a problem you can’t fix with a check or a call to someone you know, so you call the system broken and impenetrable and fund-raise or petition based off of the frustrations of other people, usually those who have far less money, power, access, or time than you do. It is the simple that is based off of good intentions because it’s easy and you’re scared and you’ve seen the other side go for easy and simple and win, even while lying or rejecting reality entirely. “He doesn’t speak like a politician, he thinks like one of us! He’s authentic!”

And now this is the part where I have to make more in the way of conjecture rather than history and background, but it’s equally important.

As a general rule, Pincus told me in June, WTF aspires to be “pro-social [and] pro-planet, but also pro-business and pro-economy.”

I said this already on twitter, but how can you much more of a useless “both sides” centrist techie stereotype can you be? Other, just as useful ideas from this platform:  

"We’re pro-puppy, but also pro-kitten."

"Pro-blue skies but pro-clean water.”

“Pro-justice AND pro-equality”

Also, “pro-social” - whatever the fuck THAT means - is the only mention of anything in the ballpark of issues of racial justice, economic inequality, women’s rights, LGBTQ issues, and more. Hold onto that for a moment.

The exact direction is up to its supporters, who can steer the organization through the campaigns they choose and promote, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that WTF seeks to push Democrats further to the political left.

“I’m fearful the Democratic Party is already moving too far to the left,” Pincus said. “I want to push the Democratic Party to be more in touch with mainstream America, and on some issues, that’s more left, and on some issues it might be more right.”

Yeah, this is pretty concerning, especially given a long list of failed centrist political programs like No Labels or Americans Elect. Both of those groups (which, disclaimer, the latter I signed up for with its “national online primary” in 2012) tend to focus towards “fiscal responsibility” and “treating America like a business” and policy like a balanced budget amendment (nope) and tone policing stuff like you see from Peggy Noon or David Brooks. It usually couches this in “both sides are bad” rhetoric or in the case of some more progressive elements, decries both parties as being basically the same (see: “She’s no better than Trump!” for a more progressive take on it with 2016).

What WTF isn’t: “Pro-politician,” Pincus said. “So we’d like to see either political outsiders or politicians who are ready to put the people ahead of their career.”

And then we circle back to the “simple because it’s easy” route, where anyone can look at the current White House and go “jesus christ, I don’t have any experience but I can certainly do better than that!” Because politicians are an easy target (boy howdy do I know that) and it’s easy to find things in the political system that seem antiquated or archaic or overly coated in red-tape and you can sure bet that some of them are. But it’s the one we’ve got, and making another out of whole-cloth should terrify anyone who understands half of what that’d entail.

Time to come back to that idea I said to hang onto at the top of the page, “pro-social.” As I noted, there is not one mention of what are commonly referred to as “social issues” - LGBTQ rights, civil rights, women’s rights, all of which (if the names didn’t tip you off) tend to be about what the folks in power already have and minorities tend to not. There’s one mention of immigration policy, and that’s in the context of the Muslim travel ban being a catalyst for rounding up an email list of wealthy white liberal donors, and “affordable healthcare” is similarly piled into that one block quote from said email. And that’s frankly not surprising.

These two, and pretty much everyone else mentioned or sniffed at for this idea, is of that rich, white, male, and young demographic I talked about back in the beginning of this novella. So, no, it’s not surprising - it is still frustrating, and dangerous because it begets ideas like this:

Initially, Pincus had planned to solicit feedback at launch on recruiting a potential challenger to Democrats’ leader in the House, California Rep. Nancy Pelosi, in a primary election. That idea is on hold — for now — but Pincus and Hoffman are still trying to solicit candidates to run elsewhere as so-called “WTF Democrats.” For Pincus, one of his early targets: Stephan Jenkins from Third Eye Blind. The two have met in recent months, in fact.

At first, Pincus planned to pitch potential supporters on challenging Pelosi, an audacious move at a time when insurgent Democrats are wondering if her leadership in the House has given Republicans too much opportunity to go on the attack. Days before the launch of WTF, however, the Zynga leader opted against proposing such a plan. (Asked if he backed a fight to unseat Pelosi, Hoffman told me hours earlier he was “waiting to see,” but stressed that he’s “certainly not opposed to it.”)

Also on Pincus’s potential target list: California Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who he derided as a “career politician.” Feinstein also isn’t an introductory target for WTF, but Pincus said he’s already had conversations with folks like Jenkins, the frontman of Third Eye Blind, about someday challenging her.

Pelosi and Feinstein, two of the most powerful women in Congress, are the only listed targets this group has been public about so far. The only reason for doing so seems to be that they’re folks who have been in politics for decades and based in the San Francisco area. You could say it’s the “career politicians” thing (see: No Labels for an example of another centrist group that talks about experience in political arenas like leprosy) but that doesn’t really add up. There are Democratic leaders in Congress like Senator Chuck Schumer of New York (18 years in the Senate, another 18 in the House), Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont (42 years in the Senate), Steny Hoyer of Maryland (36 years in the House), or John Lewis (elected just months prior to Pelosi in 1987); all of which are senior to Pelosi and Feinstein, but with zero mention - and while you can make arguments that careerism has influenced any and all of the individuals I just listed along with Pelosi and Feinstein, only the latter two are singled out as public targets.

Yeah, you can probably guess the difference, but here it is: tech companies are shit when it comes to women in their midst. Tech culture (and venture capital and business in general and… ad infinitum) is notorious brutal to break into, and even more so for women who often deal with harassment, stagnant wages, lack of promotion, and hostile atmosphere. The most visibly toxic results of tech culture’s osmosis into society are, unfortunately, displayed often enough on Twitter and the White House (and sometimes at the nexus of the two), but it also manifests itself in ways that are, in the big picture, subtle or even benign in their appearance, but have the overall effect of leaving women on the outside of policy and power - and leading to bullshit like Viagra being covered by every fucking insurance plan in the known universe, but birth control being a coin toss (at best) prior to the ACA.

Ridding Congress of the deadwood is a popular drumbeat and has been more or less since there’s been a Congress to campaign about, and especially against. But kicking out people based solely on the fact that they’ve been there for a long time is a great way to ensure that the folks who make up the institutional memory of how to get things done and passed (see the current Republican Congress as to how important it is to have the folks who know how to make a deal and negotiate with the other party). And when it’s clear that you’re only thinking of doing that, at first blush, to the women in power, including arguably the most efficient and successful political operative the House has seen since Henry Clay?

Yeah, fuck that nonsense. I’ll ride with Nancy Pelosi and complexity any day over two rich bros who think they know just how to fix all our problems with one easy solution.