#chemical free life
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starting a still life of my boy zone tshirt in oil paint
#what i do went im free from art school#lmao#mcr#mcr fanart#oil painting#oil paint#my art#wip#still life#boy zone#mcr fan art#mcr art#gerard way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way#oil on wood#i think the wood is an old kitchen bench lol#my chemical romance#my chem
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some louis tomlinsons i never posted ^_^
#louis tomlinson#louisupdates#louisprojectstracks#lfltracks#mindofwalls#tracksintheam#usertomlinsonsource#dailytomlinson#im not Getting his likeness it's making me so insane#does it look like him?!!?!? no but if i caption it louis Then u will know#anyw these r sketches that still look kinda presentable to me#souwee if these look unfinished unpolished it's bc they are shdjdjd#vans louis & chemical formula louis were way back in 2021 (when i first became a fan)#afhf one some time in 2022#all the others were drawn in feb 2023 except the aotv one which was march 2023#aotv being. the one where he's in a suit yup#i wanna practice drawing him some more. ive been practicing when i have time (not a lot) since 2021 basically. he's become my muse kinda !#i need to work on my realism🥲 it's the effect of never ever stanning a real person... so all ive drawn my whole life is anime&cartoons LOL#i have to draw him everyday i wanna like. devote all my free time into getting my fanart of him to look Right#you look like youd be easy to draw BITCH. if that's an insult then saying louis is hard to draw must be high praise!!!!!#ignore the fact that it may be just a skill issue on my end#if you read this far... erm... thanks! rbs are super appreciated thank you! ❤️#my louis#liz.art
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if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.
here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.
so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.
it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.
#cadaver speaks#mostly prompted by me looking into godspousing after a very interesting experience#and seeing someone basically say most godspouses are experiencing spiritual psychosis#which read more to me as a complaint about how other people practice than actual concern for people's mental health#do i know whether i was visited by dionysus or just have silly silly brain chemicals? NOPE#and it's entirely fucking futile to try to figure it out because you can't prove any gods exist and i'm an unreliable narrator!#so i have to ask myself: what will make me happy?#should i deny myself the joy of worship just because i drew the short straw and got saddled with schizoaffective?#or should i say fuck it and do what will make me happy?#i want to live! i beg to live!! i am wrenching the fullness of my feeble human life from nonpsychotics' hands!!!#obligatory disclaimer that if you're psychotic/schizospec and you find the term spiritual psychosis useful that's fine#anyway. society will not be free until the lunatics are free from our chains and shackles. or something#mad pride#schizophrenia#schizoaffective#actually schizophrenic#actually schizoaffective#actually schizospec#spirituality#paganism#witchcraft#mental health#if anyone willfully misinterprets what i'm saying you owe me one thousand usd#if it doesn't make sense reread the post or move on. good Bye
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my recent gifset in clip form (you get to hear gerard's beautiful vocals) - requested by @jetblxck
#gerard way#frank iero#mikey way#ray toro#mcr#my chemical romance#lotms#life on the murder scene#videos*#*#feel free to request lotms clips in my ask box! just be specific on where it is in the video and i'll do my best :-)
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People like this have made me terrified that I am mischaracterizing my favorite character by playing into his strengths and emphasizing them so much... That I'm making things "too anime", "too over-the-top", and by doing that straying away from the groundedness that made the character compelling in the first place... But I think it's better to be a fan who loves someone so much they're willing to step into goofy over-the-top showcases of strength and morals out of love than being a fake fan who only ever rags on what they proclaim is so dear to them. I dunno. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that. I'm hella insecure when it comes to my own writing, especially with this guy because I want to do him as much justice as I possibly can as a writer. But I have to convince myself that it's not too much.
#logs#it doesn't help that i've been exposed to a lot of bad writing and cynical critique in general‚ so i'm even more fearful...#but i think the cure for that is to just... read more‚ and read with an honest heart#i don't know... i feel like i have a lot of growth to do as a person‚ as a reader and writer before i can execute this to the level where it#can truly be considered a masterpiece. grounded‚ yet not so. over-the-top in every way while also providing meaningful critique and#commentary on the nature of humanity. gutwrenching dialogue packed neatly with the most insane displays of asskicking. commentary on how war#is cruel and bad and only sows misery contrasted with the coolest battle scenes you have ever seen. these are the essence of the things i#love‚ and i want to be able to channel that through my own writing as well. it's the only way to do justice to the source material‚ the only#way to truly pay a tribute to the things that i love.#now that i am free‚ i can finally become more cultured... read more books‚ watch more films‚ inhale old mecha anime... it's what i've always#dreamed of doing#i just need to undo the mental shackles of ''i cannot do this right now''... i can. i finally can. i just need to let my mind catch up to#that. give it a little push along the way#once that's done... the journey begins.#i anguish a lot over the fact that my writing is locked in a tomb for the next decade... but sometimes‚ like now‚ i think‚ hey‚ maybe that#isn't so bad. imagine how many movies you can watch in those ten years... good movies‚ bad ones‚ exceptional ones... i'll have grown so much#as a writer by that point in time because i'll have learned the ''how'' part of what i want to write. i have the ''what'' already‚ and a#general idea of ''how''‚ but... ten years from now‚ i'll be able to write everything in a way that truly makes my eyes shine#a rare moment of me being hopeful for the future... i cherish it as those don't last very long in my life. i more often tend to despair#(cursed be the chemical disbalance!)#but yeah. there is a lot to look forward to despite the hardships. sure it would've been nice to just... have it all here‚ but... that's not#the world i live in. and maybe this one isn't so bad‚ either.#i have my box of scraps. now i just need to make it out of the cave.#the deadliest type of man is one with motivation and a purpose. right?
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Piltover and zaun atziri outfits concepts! These were fun :D I’d still like to polish these outfits tho like i feel there’s something missing to her zaun outfit. I didn’t good a job portraying her as a teenager because im too lazy i just wanted to do the outfits for now mcmdm
#arcane#oc#art#original character#artists on tumblr#sketch#my art#kuki#atziri#also she’s happy with her life in piltover her parents treat her well#she’s just stressed about business sruff#she misses her friends from zaun tho#she still escapes from time to time make sure she’s not rusty#her bodyguard always finds her and brings her back#i still need to design her or I’ll litrally just rip off atitaya kdjxm#I’m incorporating her knowing how to make smoke bombs here#but upgraded like maybe some other type like paralyzing or fainting gas/smoke/chemical#she’s good for cover and for escape and she’s nimble#can u tell i like thief/assassin dnd classes#i am basic but i am free
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idk i gotta post smth
#i have been horribly horribly busy with life bullshit it may actually be alternating my brain chemicals#it. sucks#but like in an Adulting Productive way#ugh.#for now have some doodles bc i still love galileo and i am STILL trying to stylize her#art#oc#doodles#hextupod#galileo#comms are also still open fr fr#feel free to hmu ykyk
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Hello my friends !
🍉I am a Palestinian from Gaza😭😭 , coming from an extended family ❤❤that have been suffering😭😭 for 300 hard days of an aggressive war. Our life is dire and tough as we lack all the basic necessities of life . Everything has become rare and hard to get.
So, I am asking you to help me keep my family safe and a life especially after we had lost all our livelihood sources.
please don't leave my family struggle and suffer these dire days alone. You can support my campaign by donating whatever you can or by sharing my posts to reach out to others who can help us survive the war to safety and peace. you help the souls of many people with your small contribution. ❤❤🍉🍉
Don't spare this moment to be beside us in this incredibly hard and tough times.
GUYS !!! PLEASE HELP MAHMOUD !!! THEY'VE ONLY GOT 145€ OUT OF 100,000€ NEED
PLEASE PLEASE DONATE IF YOU CAN, SHARE IF YOU CAN'T
#gaza strip#free gaza#free palestine#gaza genocide#random tags for reach#fall out boy#patrick stump#pete wentz#ao3 writer#my chemical romance#homestuck#peterick#fob#homestuck^2#the owl house#the owl lady#stranger things#life is strange#steve harrington#steven universe#steddie
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#evaporation of bodies#iof terrorism#iof war crimes#apartheid#save palestine#israel is an apartheid state#ethnic cleansing#genocide#free palestine 🇵🇸#israel is committing genocide#illegal occupation#israeli war crimes#extermination#zionism is nazism for the 21st century#gaza ministry of health#1410 entire family bloodlines erased by genocide#no remains left#bodies melting#this is real life not some sci-fi horror movie#injuries that smoke for hours#cremated from the inside out#chemical warfare#chemical weapons#israeli war criminals#internationally banned weapons#the US continues to arm and fund a genocide using illegal weapons#the US is complicit in genocide and war crimes#repost#Palestinian Holocaust#lets call it what it is
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i really wish they made salty flavored chewing gum. ive been trying to fight my perpetual state of hunger with chewing gums, which i unfortunately dislike, and i think i would dislike it less if i could have it salty/savoury. every day i dream of that one full meal chewing gum roal dahl thought up
#i dont need it to be a full meal but you get the gist#i think soy sauce flavored would be a winning one for me. one of the few flavors i think i would not get easily tired of#you might think m why don't you just get any mint chewing gum? well. i dont like mint. i mean i do but very little. i loooove the herb and#eating the herb etc etc i HATE the chemical flavor. maybe bc it's in toothpaste and as we've established i HATE toothpaste#i tried getting sour ones but they're not sour enough they're overwhelmingly sweet :/ sugar free my ass#UGH life is so hard when you're a picky eater and also never not hungry
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It's true I remember very little about natural logarithms, or any logarithms, or working with exponents in general, but also I suspect this mathematical manipulation is missing a step or an explanation.
#rate laws for chemical reactions#student gtc is back baby!#first day of the semester#my house is still a complete disaster and i did next to no work on it but i made it to class this morning#I have many feelings about it all but for now I will focus on the good#why can't i ever take advantage of weeks of free time 😭#it would make life so much easier for me#my life with adhd#hw lb#gillianthecat goes back to school#it's a free faculty written/compiled textbook so it's possible that a step is literally missing#like that the copy editor just didn't catch#chemistry
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every my chemical romance concert is the largest wave of transgender to transgender communication that has ever been documented we all feel the vibrations of it we are all connected. mcr and transgenderism forever btw
#he's fighting for his life and i want to set him free#it's personal tthis time#blows up and dies#my chemical romance#current era mcr#me.txt
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gerard in nashville
#gerard way#mcr#my chemical romance#mcr nashville#mcrnashville#my life would be much more easier if i remembered about the existence of other pencils other than my trusted mechanical one#not bad considering i also free styled a foot since it was covered by a speaker#my doodles#mcr doodles
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keep getting the urge to find a suspicious glowing substance and just chow down .-.
#just me hi#in other words i think i'm craving glowstick fluid rn#it needs to be the nastiest tasting thing on the planet. and i want to immediately regret it#no i don't know why but honestly i don't know why we do most things lol#//i need to go and do things but also i can't like. make myself get up right now hbfhs#i'm like trapped. under nothing#didn't sleep enough last night so that means that today's Roulette of What Functions Go Missing has landed on 'the ability to Do'#usually this is no problem. i just gotta have no thoughts‚ stand up and there! command override‚ we are now free to Do the Thing#but i just won't stand up. this is fun :)#maybe if i can convince my chemical mass that we have nothing to do here anymore i can leave#/mission failed. i rembered i was in the middle of writing last night and wanted to finish the chapter#if i just closed my 'puter that could possibly work. not as strong as standing up but it Will turn on my Real Life Brain so let's see!
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big pharma antidepressant marketing goes crazy the amount of times I see people on here happily accepting MONTHS of feeling ill every day on a drug bc ‘your body will get used to it one day’ like girl YOU ARE PAYING THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE THE DRUG MORE TIME BC YOU ARE PAYING 😭😭
#like I say this as someone who’s been on.. 3?4? diff ssris ?#like I have very complex but mostly negative feelings abt medication but it can serve a purpose as a tool / crutch in difficult times#it cannot be and will never work as a sole solution#and the expectation that one day the perfect med will turn up (that you’ll then be paying for for life !!) is fake babes !!!#the only treatment to chronic mental health is therapy and working on yourself sadly#the chemical imbalance Bs is a myth 😭😭😭#<- sorry that’s def a perspective from me w depression anxiety ptsd mild psychosis and ocd like#maybe some conditions can be more medication dependent#but then antipsychotics literally are so bad for your body Idek man I think we should question more of these assumptions#it’s not like the mentally I’ll get a voice in any of these prescriptions of what’s ‘best for us’#like not to sound foucauldian but it was not the institutionalised who’s voices where being heard when deciding how to treat them !#the entire industry is corrupt 😭#electro convulsive therapy still happens in hospitals to this day ! it’s still a treatment !!#(my perspective comes as someone fortunate enough to have had several courses of cbt and psychotherapy for FREE. I understand that therapy#is more expensive than meds for many people. exploitative dehumanising evil industry)#oh and the biggest irony of this whole circus is that#of course if you’re unwell every day with side effects from medication you won’t be thriving mentally#and guess what that means !! more money to line more pharma company pockets buying more pills !!#like my side affects from going off ssris the last 1.5 weeks had made me feel HORRIBLE#luckily I have the knowledge and awareness to identity that those are THE MEDS#that is not my brain making me sick (I don’t need more meds)
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During a lecture about research and making credible arguments, my public speaking professor said, "Did you guys know California banned skittles?"
California has not in fact banned Skittles.
#what California has done is ban 4 harmful food additives none of which are in skittles#the reason for the skittle misinfo is that a previous version of the bill. a version which did NOT pass. proposed a ban on titanium dioxide#which is in skittles. HOWEVER the ban doesnt start til 2027 anyways and skittles currently sells titanium dioxide free versions in#some countries which have already banned the chemical#i learned all this in five minutes with a single Google search#come on professor#debunking misinformation#food tw#college life
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