#cheetahs actually sound exactly like how i imagine the boys sounding

[kandidandi]

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made this a while ago hfdghf

sphinx boys by @zus-a-fungi

[mint-yooxgi]

What powers did you add to demon ateez?

Ellie, I am so glad you asked!!!! Thank you for letting me indulge in my daydreams!!!!!!

Okay, so, some of them are a little basic but....

I’m thinking one of them, maybe two, can control animals at will, maybe Seonghwa and Yeosang, just because I think it fits their characters. Also, I think it would be funny to tease them about being a Disney princess with how Seonghwa’s a tailor and can manipulate animals to do his bidding. (Gisele from Enchanted, anyone? Snow White probably fits him better lmaoo). I just have this image in my mind of you learning about it and thinking it’s actually really cool and like, wanting to walk alongside like, tigers, and lions, and just any and every type of large predatory cat (jaguar, panther, cheetah, etc) and since the guys would do anything for you (and the two of them, especially, of course because this is something they can do for you), they do exactly that for you, and the image of you stalking down the hallway (or outside, I was originally thinking a grand throne room in my mind when I thought of this) flanked by the large predatory cats nearly sends them all to their knees because you look like a Queen. Not just any queen though, their Queen.

Two of them can shift into different animals at will, including ‘mythical’ creatures (they’re not very mythical to them, if they’re being honest), and it’d probably be Wooyoung and Jongho just because I think it fits their personality really well. I can just imagine them all conjuring a room full of bunnies, or cats, or something, and there ending up being two more of them than at the start because someone has decided to shift into the same creature at some point only to end up in your lap or on your chest nuzzling into your neck or purring up a storm because you’re finally giving them attention, and your hands are all over them!!! Jongho is definitely more of a nuzzler, while Wooyoung would most definitely take this opportunity to kiss (lick) you all over, the little cheeky shit.

Two more can manipulate the four basic elements, like earth, air, fire, and water - probably San and Mingi. They show off more often than not, especially if you’re lounging by the pool (more so San) since, you know, water. Plus, the way you get captivated by the intricate patterns and designs they can create by threading the water through the air makes a sense of pride fill their chest. Finally, he can do something for you that makes you happy (other than cooking, that is). Part of the reason why Mingi handles the drinks is because he can manipulate liquids, makes it more quick and efficient. The fire aspect also helps with San’s cooking, also part of the reason why Mingi almost burns the house down when he attempts to cook lmaoo. Also handy when your get cold cause he could heat you up using his body. Great for the two of them, horrid for you (and the other boys who could essentially do the same, just not as quickly or as efficiently).

Yunho and Hongjoong, I was thinking, can manipulate more intensive elements so they can essentially control the weather. Lighting, storms, lava, etc. I just have this idea that just came to me that maybe you love storms and falling asleep to the sound of rain, so on nights when you find it hard to sleep, one of them will conjure a rainstorm or something to help calm you down and soothe you to sleep. Over time, one of them, if not both, will create a lighting storm for you, and they all get to watch the wonder and amazement shine in your eyes as you observe the storm. Also, I think it would be really funny if both of them, and Mingi and San always had pissing contests about their powers, especially if you were involved.

I also have this headcanon that blood is like an aphrodisiac/alcohol to them, and every human’s blood tastes different based on the ‘quality’ of it, and the type. Hence why they rarely consume it. Besides, souls are more filling that way, and the last thing they want is to not be able to control themselves around you (even if they’ve already proven that that’s an extremely difficult thing to do, they don’t need to make it any harder on themselves). Oh, but the first time they ever get a taste of your blood... ohohohohoho ;)

[peterpcrkcr]

A New Hero | A Spider-Man Imagine

Spider-Man x Reader Words: 1.5K Summery: You run into Spider-Man a month after seeing him and this is how you catch up.

"I haven't seen you in about a month." He said as he landed on the rooftop next to where you stood. You didn't look at him as his feet set down softly onto the cement. You cleared your throat. 

 "Has it been that long?" You glanced at him, but set your sight on the people below who were unaware of the two of you guarding their lives from up above. 

"Yeah, that's when the last full moon was." He said as if that cleared everything up. 

 "Okay... sure." You moved your hair out of your face, licked your lips. Oh boy, nothing would be better than if he left you alone to do your business. 

 "You're like a werewolf." He said matter-of-factly. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked away from him. This was very confusing, but he seems to have figured it all out. 

 "I wouldn't say that." You said in a tone that was supposed to describe how much you wanted him to forget that he saw you. 

 "You only come out during a full moon." He said in the same way, as if this was the absolute answer. 

 "That's not exactly true." You said, understanding why he was saying these things to you. You relaxed your face and looked at his masked head. 

 "You said." He was sure of it. 

 "I don't think I did." You were just messing with him, because you know what you had said to him a month ago, but decided to let him try to convince you on his own. 

 "You said those words to me, out loud." He leaned forward toward you, his masked eyes widening as if that would convey the message more clearly. You didn't meet his gaze, and honestly wondered why he was staring at you so much.

 "Were you recording? Because if you weren't I didn't say those words to you." You crossed your arms and looked forward.

 "Karen, playback when they said they only came out during full moons." And just like that his suit started speaking in a rather attractive sounding, classically feminine voice. 

 " 'I only come out during full moons, like a werewolf.' " Karen replayed in your exact voice. He crossed his arms, tilted his head as if to say told you so. 

 "Okay Harriet the Spy... I said that so you wouldn't try finding me." You rolled your eyes, looked at him. 

 "What?!" He sounded upset that you'd accused him of stalking you than you trying to brush him off. 

 "You have a reputation twinkle toes." 

 "What's my reputation?" He said in a genuinely curious tone. You shrugged.

 "That you pretend to be a lone-wolf but actually wish you were part of a team. I saw those videos of the big fight. You practically wet yourself with how giddy you were to have a say in something." 

 "I didn't wet myself!" He said defensively and in a high pitched tone. You laughed. 

 "Did I say you wet yourself? Can your sexy suit lady recall the exact words I said to you just now?" You leaned in close to him to make it known you were more so speaking to the AI in his suit than him. 

 "They said 'you practically wet yourself with how giddy you were...' and so on." Karen recited with the same inflection you had had when you said the words. 

"Why thank you sexy suit lady." You said and you leaned back satisfactorily. 

 "No problem!" Karen said happily.

 "Okay, okay. But why would you think I'd try to find you?" Spider-Man leaned back on the heels of his feet to look at you up and down. You did the same to him, enjoying the way his suit was absolutely as skin tight as it could be.

 "Because now there's not just one cat saving lives and kicking ass in Queens, there's two, and I'm doing it with much more style." You said in a cool tone.

 "Says who?" He said. 

 "Don't you have a Twitter, Sally-Swings-a-lot?" 

 "That's a long nickname... was it even worth-" 

 "It was worth saying. Now face the facts. When you head off to bed after your terribly long and horrible day of stopping petty crimes, I come out and play with the big dogs." During your sentence you not only mocked him but made him scoff at the truth in your words. 

 "Just because you're dressed like a cat-" he started, but you cut him off. 

 "It's a cheetah sweetheart, don't mix the two. There's a cat lady who comes by once in awhile, she's dressed in all black and she wreaks of strong perfume. I'd love it if we didn't get mixed up." 

 "Your outfits are similar." He said goading you on.

 "That's great, Buggy. Did I ask?" You said in an annoyed tone. "Not really, just thought you should be aware." He was really trying it. 

 "Oh, I am, Sporto." You said as you squinted your eyes and turned up the tips of your lips at him.

 "I don't do a lot of sports." He said honestly. 

 "Why not? I'm sure your core muscles are..." you inhaled as you gave him another, very thorough once over. "Fantastic."

 "Are you flirting?" He said in his most charming tone.

 "Admiring your strength, lover boy." You chuckled amusedly, took a step toward him and trailed a finger down his abdomen.

 "Lover boy, eh?" He turned to face you, reached his hands out for your hips, but you stepped back and crossed your arms once again. 

 "Maybe sometime, but not tonight. I have a date with a very large man who's after some very large jewels." 

 "How'd you get that info?" He asked, eyes wide as he took a step back. "

You think you're the only one with a pretty little voice in your ear?" He shrugged. "My voice is something a little different, but it's never wrong."

 "What did it tell you, exactly?" You knew he was just trying to get information from you about this heist so he could take all the glory. You knew that wasn't true, that he earnestly wanted to help out. 

 "That no matter how quickly I get away from you, you'll still follow me." You said coyly. 

 "What? Why would it-" but he was cut off by you jumping off of the building and landing on your feet to race through the streets of Queens. "Shit- wait up!" 

 You smiled while you ran, dodging the few pedestrians that made their way down the street. "I told you you wouldn't leave me alone!" 

 "I just want to know what's going on!" He said between panting breaths. You were incredibly fast, like lightning fast. His biceps were burning by the time he caught up with you, and strained even more to keep in pace. "Did you get bit by a cheetah?"

 "No," you laughed. "Why? Is that what happened to you, Fly Swatter?"

 "I have a name, you know." He said, but every word was strained and followed by quick breaths. 

 "Of course I know your name, I just didn't think we were at that level of friendship yet." You said as you ran up against the side of a wall to avoid a bunch of cyclists on the sidewalk. 

 "We're not friends enough for you to say my name?!" He asked with a smile on his face. 

 "Oh," you laughed. "No, no. That's not it." 

 "Then what is i-OOF!" He slammed into a tall streetlight and slide almost halfway down the length of t before finally gripping it to stay in place. 

 "Hey Spider-Guy!" You stopped just below where he'd stopped, hands resting on your hips you looked up at him and smiled. "See you next time." 

 "Wait!" He yelled after you. "How will I find you?" 

 "You won't!" You said as you neared the corner of the block. "I'll find you!"

 "Drony, go after them." Peter said to his suit, which made his chest logo dislodge and speed around the corner after you. 

 "Are you sure it's the right decision to stalk them? Even after they said that's exactly what you would do?" Karen, his voice of reason spoke in his ear. He rolled his eyes. 

 "I don't trust them." Peter said as he shot a web to a nearby building and swung low toward the road. 

 "Why not, Peter?" Karen asked. 

 "I don't know anything about them, I've never even heard of them before." He said as he landed on the platform of where a gargoyle used to be on a church.

 "Well you don't go on Twitter, that could be why." Karen said simply.

 "Thanks Karen." Peter said in an exhausted tone.

"No problem, Peter." Karen said happily.

[merryclaus]

After the Madness part 1

Pairing: Yuri and Otabek A Welcome to the Madness fanfic Sometime after Yurio's Exhibition skate Otabek had Yurio pushed up against a wall in Yurio's room, Mila was out with Emil, Sara, and Micky. Lila and Yokav went out to celebrate Yurio's victory that day. And lastly Gorgie decided to go out with his (new) girlfriend, meaning the entire house was empty (I'm sure everyone can imagine where Yuuri and Victor are). With their lips crashing passionately together, Otabak and Yurio intertwined one hand together while the other explored as much of their partner's body as possible, tongues dancing against one another as if in a salsa. Yurio moaned out as Otabek gently pushed a knee in between his legs, slightly nudging them apart as he rubbed up against the bulge forming in Yurio's pants. Yurio panted against Otabek's lips and pulled away to whine. "No fair Beka, you can't do that." He pouted cutely. Otabek smirked. "And what exactly is not fair my little kitten?" "What you're doing...it's not...fair." Yurio trailed off as Otabek pushed his knee a little harder against his crotch. He whimpered oh so softly as Otabek lifted his shirt up and over his head. Yurio left his arms fall to his side as Otabek took off his own shirt and tossed it somewhere to the side of them. Otabek removed his knee and proceeded to kiss his way down Yurio's neck to his chest starting with his jawline. He licked lightly and kissed him a few times. He then moved on to Yurio's neck, sucking and biting gently, leaving only small marks as he licked them and went down to his collarbone. He bit gently and dragged his teeth across Yurio's bone, he licked the little dip in the blonde boy's neck area and finally moved to his small pink nubs. He smirked up at the blonde as he flicked his tongue out alongside Yurio's nipple, the sudden warm and slightly wet sensation making the cat-loving boy jump a bit. Yurio looked down into Otabek's eyes. "Did you like that Yura?" Otabek asked, he grinned when the blonde nodded and went back to his work of teasing the younger boy. With each flick of his tongue Yurio maomed softly, almost as of he were putting like a real cat. After a few more licks Otabek sucked his left nipple and pinched the other one softly, he rubbed the pink bud carefully as to not hurt his little kitten. After a few minutes he switched to the other nipple and rubbed the left nipple. "E-enough teasing already Beka, either let me touch you, or fuck me already. Please." Yurio whined. The older boy raised an eyebrow in amusement, Yura rarely ever said please for anything, not even to get Yuuri and Victor off of him. That made Otabek chuckled because that means that only he could bring this side of Yurio out. "You can touch me if you want to." The older teen offered. Yurio gulped nervously and nodded as he reached out to touch Otabek's chest, the first this he did was check the older boy's muscles. Triceps, biceps, abs, everything his eyes landed on. Yurio never knew he could find so much joy in feeling on his bestfriend's body, it took full advantage of this opportunity and pinched both of the bear's nipples, Otabek let out a sharp breath and grinned. Yurio blushed and pinched a little more before going back and forth between his Beka's pink hard buds. Yurio looked up at the bear boy as he licked and sucked his nipples with a red face. When he pulled away from Otabek's right nipple a strand of saliva left his lips. "Was that okay Beka?" The little kitten asked unsure if he did a good job or not. Otabek chuckled and smiled while nodding approvingly. Yurio blushed and smiled happily as he leaned up and kissed his bestfriend, they stayed liplocked for a few minutes then broke apart just as Otabek unbuttoned the blonde's pants and pushed him back just a little bit. "Beka?" Yurio almost forgot about his boner and looked confused for a second. He quickly remembered it as Otabek grabbed him though his cheetah printed briefs and squeezed. "Gah! Beka!" He gasped and weakly grabbed at the older boy's wrist, he drooled slightly and leaned against the wall for support. Otabek grinned and took his own pants off to reveal a pair of white short cut briefs with a brown bear face on it. Yurio giggled mockingly at the older boy's choice of underpants. The bear boy frowned playfully and shoved his hand between the smaller one's to quiet him, and it worked very well. Yurio moaned much louder this time and grinded on Otabek's hand as he tried to get off, but Otabek wasn't having it. He moved his hand and picked Yurio up then started walking upstairs. "Where's your room Yura?" He demanded in a heavy lusty voice. "S-second room on the right." Yurio moaned as his trapped erection rubbed against the older boy's shoulder. He tried to keep his composure as Otabek opened his bedroom door and carefully placed his kitten in the bed before going back to locked the door. "Why do that when we're the only ones here?" The blonde laid on his back and stripped himself of his confining briefs, his red cock springing up in the air as he threw them to the floor "Because you may never know when someone will come back." Otabek smirked when he was that Yurio already completely undressed, he stripped from his briefs too and joined his kitten in the bed, next before settling down he asked Yurio of he had lube or anything of the sort. "I have scentless lotion in my night stand, I hope that works." He said blushing as he nervously covered his cock and waited for the older boy to retrieve the item of desire. "Do you have condoms too?" Otabek asked to make sure they were as safe as possible. "N-no, I didn't even think about buying any." Yurio looked down somewhat ashamed, he thought he came fully prepared for this this night. "Its fine, we just have to be extra careful tonight, okay?" Yurio nodded and Otabek spread his legs, he kissed his buttcheeks and flicked his tongue across Yurio's pink hole. Yurio gasped and Otabek took the opportunity to stick his tongue inside. "B-Beka?!" The blonde shook slightly as his friend ate his ass like a hungry bear, the little cat shook and drool as he clutched his blankets and stared up at the ceiling. The next thing he knew Otabek had his mouth wrapped around Yurio's cock, but how long had he sucked Yurio's cock? A few minutes? A half an hour? Things began to blur together as Otabek gave Yurio head, and although he didn't mean to, Yurio began to thrust his hips into Otabek's mouth. Otabek grinned around Yurio's cock as he got an idea, he slowly began to deepthroat the blonde, Yurio gasped loudly and lifted himself up on his elbows to gaped down at the older boy as the hard cock in the punk boy's mouth slid further down and hilted in the back of his throat. Yurio jerked and his mouth fell open without a sound, his eyes widened and Otabek smiled gleefully at him, loved that face so much he wanted to imprint the memory of that face in his brain. So he moved his head back and forth along Yurio's cock and watched the smaller one's face twist in pleasure. "Beka, oh my God. How are you doing that?" The blonde blushed and watched the other work the hard rod in and out of his mouth. Otabek slipped the cock out of his mouth and lay Yurio's head on the pillow behind him. "I think that's enough forplay. Are you ready for me to enter you Yura?" Yurio nodded nervously as his cock throbbed from the sucking, looked down to see Otabek's cock but couldn't because his own cock was in the way. He lifted up on his elbows again to see over himself and gasped at the sight. Sticking straight out was the longest, thickest, meatiest cock he's even seen, which is an overstatement since he's never seen one except his own. "Wow, wow that's huge!" His entire face turned red and he looks up at Otabek who is biting his lower lip to keep from laughing. He swooped down to kiss his kitten and sticks three fingers in his mouth. Yurio looked confused but then the older boy tells him to suck and lick them to lube them up. Yurio does what he is told and licks all around the three fingers as much as he can. Otabek pulls them out and slowly slips one into Yurio's ass. "Aaaahhh!" He squeezed his eyes shut and yelped. "Beka!" He grabbed Otabek's arm with his right hand. "It's okay Yura, it will hurt a little bit but this is how I'll stretch you out, okay?" Yurio nodded and tried to lay still. Soon Otabek added another finger and Yurio shook slightly and tried to remain calm as he let himself adjust. After a while the last finger was added and Yurio mostly stayed calm during that. Otabek fingered him for a whileand Yurio actually started moaning a little. The older boy smiled and kissed his friend's lips sweetly as he slowly pulled his fingers out. "Hey, why'd you stop?" Yurio whined. "Because it's time for this." The bottle of lotion was lifted and light brown cream poured out into Otabek's cock, he rubbed it over every inch of his length and then poured some on Yurio's ass. He massaged it in and positioned himself at Yurio's entrance and waited for the smaller boy to signal it was okay. The blonde blushed and nodded to the punk to go ahead and stick it in. Otabek nodded and slowly pushed at Yurio's entrance. The younger boy hissed as Otabek pushed the tip of his cock inside. Even though it was just the tip Yurio was right. The older boy pushed a little more and another inch went it, then another, after a few minutes another. This went on for an actual half an hour. There was blood since Yurio was a virgin, even a few tears as Otabek tried to calm the trembling kitten as he also tried to keep himself calm. Yurio had to remember to breath and took a few deep breaths. After a good while he nodded to Otabek so he knew it was alright to move. Otabek pulled out then slowly thrusted back in as he grunted, Yurio kept his eyes closed as he bit his bottom lip and whimpered softly. Otabek wondered when the blonde would start feeling pleasure. He kept a steady slow pace so Yurio could adjust tonhid huge size, he leaned down and kissed along Yurio's jaw as he tried to relax him more, he smiled when Yurio cracked an eye open and blushed deeply as he felt his cock leak precum. After awhile Yurio felt a transition from pain to pleasure take place, he suddenly found himself moaning and pulling his bear closer. Otabek also felt a transition, he started moaning too and sweating as he moved a little faster and holding Yurio's hips.

[evenstevensranked]

#41: Season 1, Episode 8 - “Family Picnic”

The annual Family Decathlon rolls around and Steve is extremely into it. Like, extremely. He makes the whole family participate every year. But Louis — who always feels like the outsider, (and isn't exactly athletically inclined) cheats in a competition he knows he doesn't stand a chance in.

We get an opening shot of Louis mowing some Australian dude's lawn. Then it rewinds and starts the story of how he ended up there. Something a little unique about this episode is that Louis narrates it. I’m 99.9% sure it's the only one in the series that has a storytelling voiceover from Louis or Ren throughout like this. It actually feels a little weird. I wonder why they decided on that for this one. He tells us about this "Family Decathlon" that his dad is obsessed with and makes the whole gang compete in as Team Stevens. We get one of my favorite lines when Louis is explaining just how much Steve cares about the picnic: "Does my dad take it seriously? Now, that's like asking ‘Did Shaq have a growth spurt?’” What a great analogy though, honestly.

Louis really, really does not want to go to the picnic. He'd rather see some new Jackie Chan flick where Jackie "wipes out an entire evil army with ONE NOODLE!" I've always laughed at "one noodle." Seriously, a NOODLE?! Is this a weapon I don’t know about? Like, define noodle. A pool noodle? A measly, little pasta noodle? Now, THAT’D be pretty impressive. But, he has a talk with Eileen and decides to do it because they can’t win without Louis “Crazy Legs” Stevens. This scene is adorable, though. Eileen keeps calling him Crazy Legs, and Louis just giggles like “Maaa! Don’t start with the crazy legsss.” It’s so cute. I feel like we don’t see enough of this, so I love it. He agrees to go to the picnic, but will not compete in whatever contest he got the nickname “Crazy Legs” for. “NO MEANS NO!” He says.

Just thought I’d say: I love Tawny’s outfit, omg. 

Suddenly, it does a hard cut to a shot of Louis’ butt. I’m not kidding. He is sassily shaking it from side to side as he balances an egg on a spoon. We find out that “Crazy Legs” originates from his unusual technique in the egg race. I can’t. The best part about this scene is the 70’s disco, royalty-free stock music playing that says “BOOGIEEEE!!!!” (pronounced “boogaaaayy”) It always makes me laugh. Twitty and Tawny are giving him a hard time about it, saying he’s not like the rest of his family and shouldn’t have to do the race. Louis says he can’t back down because “I’m a Stevens. We have a motto: You dream it, you scheme it, and you cream it.” and Tawny asks “…..wHAT… does that mean???” I swear to god if this is another innuendo…

Suddenly Louis takes their advice and decides to NOT do the race again. He goes to tell Steve later that night and overhears him talking to Ren about what a great kid Louis is and that he has the heart of a lion! One of my favorite lines in this episode is from Steve here: “You know Louis learned to walk at 6 months?! …..granted he didn’t speak until he was 4 1/2, BUT THE POINT IS--” lol. While listening in, Louis gets his head stuck in the banister. This always bothered me because the railings are widely spaced. He was able to poke his head through straight, no problem!! Then to get out, he tilts his head all the way to the side so it “gets stuck.” Even while he’s “stuck” you can see that his chin could easily get out. Oh my god. Much like the bus rearranging fiasco, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on this show and has always annoyed me. It’s really not that serious, though. So don’t listen to me. It’s just a plot device so that the banister can break and Louis can fall into a box, making a very loud entrance.

Like, seriously. Is it just me, or could he easily get out of there?!?! Why tilt your head all the way to the side??? Who knows! This just always looked like a force to me, lol. 

Steve and Ren rush over to ask if he’s okay, and Louis says “I came to tell you that… I can’t. Can’t, uh… can’t… wait to win the race tomorrow!! :D” I would literally see right through that. If the blatant stuttering wasn’t enough, surely the dramatic drop in his facial expression from “can’t wait!” to “kill me” should’ve given it away:

Then we get another hard cut to the picnic. That’s something else that’s weird about this one. It it seems to jump around a lot and there are two major montages, which causes the episode to fly by and makes it feel like not much happens. The first of the two is kicked off with Louis about to compete against a bunch of tiny children. “I feel like I’m the only one in this race that knows their times tables” he says, lol.

He came prepared. Is he really wearing a back brace???

He shakes hands with last year’s champion who’s like… 6, (^ the kid on the far right) becomes intimidated, and says “you got…. quite a grip…” which is pretty funny. But then it cuts to a useless western-style faceoff thing between them. I never liked this for some reason. Just ANOTHER thing that makes it feel like nothing is actually happening here. Oh, well. The montage starts with the beginning of the egg race. 

One thing I never understood: Shouldn’t everyone’s spoon be the same size? A spoon that perfectly hugs the egg (like Louis’) will be easier to race with. One of the bigger spoons that would cause the egg to roll around, would be much more difficult. Those are the spoons everyone should use. Doesn’t seem fair, lol. ANYWAY!

......was this really necessary? 

In this montage we see Donnie playing badminton with an elderly man and falling — hurting his shoulder. Ren losing a homemade apple pie contest to a biker dude. (You break down those gender roles, Disney! lol) Eileen climbing a tree, Louis winning the egg race, and Steve cutting up a turkey with a CHAINSAW? What kind of contest is that? Do people actually do this? Are you supposed to be carving it into something? Or just… hacking it up?! What’s the point of that? Where’s the skill??? This montage is literally 2 minutes long. That doesn’t sound like a lot.. but it is. I mean, I guess I don’t really know how else they could’ve shown each individual family member without taking up too much time. But, yeah. All the footage is set to another stock song, and I’m assuming it was written just for this episode. They lyrics are “Now go go, Mr. Crazy Legs! Now no no!! Don’t you drop those eggs!” Much like “Casa de Fiesta” this gets stuck in my head all the time.

??????

We get another one of my favorite lines when the family is resting a bit before the last big event — The father/son kayak race. Donnie is icing his shoulder and says “I think I just ripped a delt.” Louis is extremely insulted and exclaims “Well, that’s pretty rude. I’M EATING.” So good. They have a run-in with their biggest competition, a super jacked father/son duo from Perth Australia, Porter and Quincy. 

Donnie was set to row in the race, but now he can’t with his bad shoulder. So Steve says very dramatically “All I can say is..… I’m glad I have two sons!” and it pans to Louis stuffing his face with a cupcake. 

Why is this so funny?! lol. 

Louis really doesn’t want to disappoint Steve, so he decides to cheat just so Team Stevens can win. He drills a hole in Quincy’s kayak. Wow, Louis. If I were in charge of this picnic, I would’ve been so suspicious as to how Louis Stevens — a small, awkward kid who lives on junk food and can’t run a decent lap without busting a lung… was able to beat teenage bodybuilder and potential crocodile hunter Quincy. Quincy was clearly sinking, like… obviously something was up with his kayak. But no one cares. LOUIS WON!

Now we get to the absolute best part of the episode. The thing that made me rank this episode higher. The second montage! Louis' conscience kicks in, and we see that he feels soooo incredibly guilty. Everywhere he goes he hears the word "Cheater" even when it's not actually being said. It’s hilarious to me. He fully melts down in school when his teacher starts talking about Cheetahs. It's amazing. It's one of those scenes I just have to embed.

Tawny is rightfully concerned about Louis’ little panic attack and asks him if he feels guilty about something. This is another one of my favorite Louis lines: “Guilty? Right. Even if I was — WHICH I’M NOT! — I would do the healthy thing, and keep it tightly bottled up inside of me.” What a legend. Tawny tells him the story of The Tell-Tale Heart, and he gets to flustered under the pressure.. he confesses. He starts off the explanation with “Donnie ripped a delt thingy and I was eating a cupcake and everything was all screwed up” which I love so much.

At dinner that night, the family is going around the table saying all the good things each of them accomplished that day. But, when it gets to Louis he just says “I cheated in the kayak race” which opens the flood gates for everyone else to confess to cheating or not being honest, good people lol wow. Eileen says she punched a squirrel on her way up the tree. Which is just… Wow. Imagine that poor squirrel. Steve is disappointed in his family, but sort of blames himself for putting so much pressure on all of them. True.

Steve starts questioning his parenting, wondering what he’s taught the kids, and Louis says “you’ve taught us that it’s better to play fair and lose than to win by cheating” — Well, that’s very specific and relevant advice! Why didn’t you follow THAT, Louis?! In the end, Louis apologizes to Steve and they make up. It’s a nice father/son moment.

Louis still feels bad, so he challenges Quincy to a rematch — Loser has to do the other’s chores for the week. Obviously he loses and that's why he's mowing Quincy’s lawn at the beginning! “Boy, do those Aussie’s have a lot of yard work” he says, as it zooms out to reveal a totally not CGI lawn.

I like this episode. The cheater montage does it for me. Shia is brilliant! As usual. Other than that, I like that there was a lesson in there, that Louis actually had a conscience, and that he bonded with Steve a bit. I also love whenever Tawny acts as Louis’ personal therapist, lol. They’re great together. There’s also no Ren subplot (or subplot in general!) So that’s different.

We’re almost into the #30s!! What the heck!! AHHH!

Thanks for reading!

For this episode’s Redbubble design, you can now get your own “Team Stevens” shirt! Ayyyyy!

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