#cheese bible

[burningcheese-merchant]

I notice that you give Shadowspice alot of shit because of how it's based off of shallow fujoshi stereotypes and how they would be miserable with eachother if you regarded there canon personalities (which is lowkey valid), but that makes me surprised you like burningcheese because you do remember that burning spice tore off cheesy's wings, threw her off a cliff, kept her wounded in a prison for sadisms sake and threated to destroy all she ever treasured before the queen turned the tables and have him his rightful beating.

Most burningcheese fanart I have seen depicts burning spice as hulking and towering and smiling down at golden cheese freaking as if that isn't basic straight ship stuff, I'm not going to cry about "abuser x victim" or how your a "proshipper" but a decent chunk of the Fandom portrayal of burningcheese ignores golden cheese's dominance and how powerful she is and I'm invested in how you think golden cheese will get romantic with the dude who tried to take everything from her with sadistic glee, all of that aside have a good day.

Turned out long as fuck lol my bad

Gonna start by saying I appreciate you being polite/civil. Ngl I started reading the first sentence and immediately assumed it was a ShadowSp1ce fan come to start shit or something lol. I'm glad that's not the case. As unhappy as that ship makes me, I'm really not out to get anyone who likes it. You do you, it's not my business. I mean it when I say I'd rather never speak of ShadowSp1ce again if I don't have to. I'm a happier person without it in my thoughts. Again I ask "where is the memory gun from Gravity Falls when you need it" lmao

To address your other concerns. No I did not forget what Burning Spice did to Golden Cheese lol. That's a pretty important scene in the story, I don't really have a say in the matter. But really, what he did is just what villains do. It's horrible, but not out of the ordinary for someone like that. It shouldn't be downplayed or dismissed but I also don't think it needs to be blown as far out of proportion as I've seen so many do. Video game villain. There are far worse ones than Burning Spice, who have done far worse things. Promise.

Maybe it's just my luck, but I've never really seen anyone portray BurningCheese the way you describe. Not on here, at least. I just see Burning Spice simping really hard for the golden goddess and smiling when she steps on him lol. Or them just being genuinely happy together. Plenty of angst, sure. But nothing I would really say is out of character (that I recall off the top of my head). I don't doubt that such shallow, stereotypical portrayals exist, and I lament that they do. I myself don't subscribe to that. Yes, he hurt her, but she doesn't take it (or anything he says or does) lying down. She gets up and fights back. And that's what he loves about her most of all. She fights back. To make her the meek, doe-eyed little church mouse secretary to Spice's domineering CEO or whatever the fuck in service of some puddle-deep hetero-flavored gooner shit à la 50 Shades is boring and flanderization. Burning Spice is tough but so is Golden Cheese. They are equals in every way. Let them kick each other's asses. Spice would never love a person who couldn't stand up to him anyway. Who isn't strong, physically and mentally. Which is what she is and always should be.

But my MAIN canon. The canon I operate on. The one my little fankid critters exist in. THAT romance goes like this:

As for how I ascribe romance to them... Let me start by saying that I ship them in multiple ways, through multiple lenses. I ship BurningCheese where it's a toxic one-sided crush/obsession on Spice's part (and his behavior is condemned ofc), because exploring that kind of darkness within a fictional setting is interesting to me. I ship BurningCheese where Golden Cheese gives in to despair, same as Burning Spice once did, and corrupts, and they become a villain couple (got a big fic in mind for that lol. That will be fun to write eventually). In a similar vein to that is the AU I've been playing around with on here where Spice is basically her pet serial killer and brings her severed heads and other things as tokens of affection (he is absolutely fucking deranged in this AU), and because she herself is... kind of a broken person in this story, she starts responding to these attempts to stroke her ego and win her favor, leading her down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame and denial and unhealthy attachment, where she eventually ends up as insane for him as he is for her (I know it sounds crazy, but... it's fun in a dark and disturbing way lol). I ship BurningCheese in that time travel AU (that I'm still cooking btw! That will be real fic! I'm working on it with a friend of mine!) where Golden meets Spice while he's still the Herald of Change, with all of the trials and tribulations that brings. I ship BurningCheese as a standard forbidden love affair, where she's good and he's bad and neither is willing to change for the other, but are willing to set aside those differences to be together, even if only for a time and away from prying eyes and judgment. I like them all sorts of ways, because I just like them, you know? I like how they click. How they complement and contrast with each other. They're both very alike and very different. They have a lot to give each other and a lot they can do together. And they're soulmates, that's canon, they are canon (at least in some way), whether anyone likes it or not. So I win no matter what lol

Slow burn. Very, very slow. Post-canon, after Dark Enchantress has already been defeated and order restored to the world. There's nothing left for the Beasts to really do anymore, Burning Spice included (they are not resealed in my canon, they all remain free indefinitely). They can't go out and cause chaos without their Ancients coming and curbstomping them immediately. But... Burning Spice likes that Golden Cheese does that, so he manages to forge an agreement: if she indulges him and spars with him a few times a month, he'll stay out of trouble. And she agrees, for everyone else's sake. She certainly doesn't want to be around him any longer than she has to.

They grow a little closer through these fights of theirs, albeit unwillingly on Golden's part. They bicker and banter while they exchange blows, and afterwards while they tend to their own wounds. Do you really have a choice, when you end up stuck with someone in such a way?

Burning Spice is in love with her. Always has been. But his love is selfish, toxic. He's more attached to his idea of her than the real her, because he doesn't truly know her, despite his insistance plus their soul bond. Golden Cheese hates him and considers him a menace to society, and indulges his whims purely to protect and serve the public. So long as he's focused on her, he can't hurt anyone else.

He hits on her all the time. She rebuffs him all the time. He doesn't necessarily mind; as much as he'd love it if she returned his feelings, he's content with her refusal as well. He likes her bite, her wit, her anger. And he has her, at least in some way. Has her attention. Has their battles. That's enough for him

Slow burn redemption arc on top of the romance. Really, Burning Spice's redemption is mostly an accident. Golden Cheese wasn't trying to fix him (at first) and he was never looking to be fixed. They both believed he was damned and he didn't care, and that was that. And it really was, for a while. But eventually, gradually, he started to... mellow out. Enough that he started becoming a little more approachable, in her estimation. Thus they grow closer still, which in turn makes him mellow out more.

He starts opening up a little bit, here and there. Bits and pieces about himself. His past. General personality things. She does the same in turn. She starts to recognize him as more than just a heartless monster. He starts to acknowledge things he'd otherwise leave buried forever. There's some sort of trust and understanding forming.

Spice gains a measure of clarity. Not quite remorse, but... regret? Is it regret? Is he really able to say he regrets anything about his life? Has he gotten that soft? That pathetic?

... He regrets how he treated her. That much comes to be true. And he apologizes to her. It's not much, he's no good at apologies, but he's at least sincere. It's shocking to her. She takes it to heart, despite not really forgiving him (she will not do so for a long time still). It marks a little turning point in their relationship.

She lets him into her life and world a bit more. She relaxes a bit more around him and vice versa. They're not even so strict about their scheduled duels anymore; sometimes he comes by just because he wants to see her, and she obliges. He's still an asshole but less of one. She's still begrudging but less so. It's clear something has begun to change within him. She's not sure what it is, but it's there. And it's... meaningful, at least to her. Because she never thought she'd see it

Don't want to get too deep into it because I want to talk abt it more later. But there's at least one suicide attempt by Spice bc he's gotten really depressed (more than he already was) and Golden stops him, and in doing so realizes that she's come to genuinely care about him as a person and doesn't want him gone, even despite his misdeeds. Another big turning point, especially on her part

They become genuine friends. Bit of a weird friendship, he's still a bad guy, but even so. She's honest about enjoying his company. She talks to him like she does everyone else. And he likes it. He likes that she's so casual now. That they're so used to each other now. It's pleasant

The more he spends time with her and gets to know her, the deeper in love he falls. But no longer is it that corrosive sentiment it once was. With time, it evolves into a healthy affection and respect for her. He's still smitten as always and forever, but in a more normal way lol

The more time she spends with him and gets to know him, the more she comes to see that... He's really not so bad, underneath all of his... issues. He's intelligent. Thoughtful. Creative, even (ironic). He's very handsome. He makes her laugh. He keeps her on her toes. He's not so different from her, in some ways. With all of that, and what he's willingly revealed to her about his life, she believes that... he can be fixed. He can get better. Somewhere within the dark chasm of his soul is man with some worth. There's something worth salvaging inside of him. One little ray of light, flickering in the dark. He can change, if he wants to. She truly believes that now.

So she starts making an effort to help him along. Starts pushing for him to interact with others. Do good deeds. Participate in society, in life. He tries to push back but ultimately gives in, if only to appease her. She's the only person he tolerates still, everyone else can keel over and die for all he cares. Just because he's not actively hurting anyone doesn't mean he cares about them.

But... it works, little by little. This war of attrition she wages. Of course she can't force him to change; he has to want that for himself. But she can at least show him the merit in doing so. And she does. Slowly, begrudgingly, he starts to actually talk to people. Hang around them. Do things of his own accord, not just to make her happy. He does not say so, but he's learning to enjoy and appreciate life again

That's when she falls for him. It was already in motion for a while, but it's watching him improve and become more of the man she thinks exists deep down inside that does her in for good. Of course she's embarrassed. She grapples with the moral implications. But in the end, she can't help herself. He's charmed her. He won.

They're happy together. They marry. He is gladly accepted by the GCK as their king, for they have embraced him by then. They have those two kiddos. He's forged new, genuine friendships with the other Ancients plus a few other people, and rebuilt the old ones he had with the other Beasts. He's... not a hero, no. He never will be again. But he's abandoned his evil ways. He's made peace with himself. He's been reintegrated into society. He's happy. They're happy.

No one approves of them besides Pure Vanilla. Throughout all of this, Spice has been regarded with fear, hatred and suspicion. (He doesn't really care much, to hell with what others think of him.) Though he's improved and some have relaxed around him, for many it's not enough, her friends included. They worry for her safety, for her sanity. She vouches for him, his character and their relationship. Only PV is on her side from the start; he's overjoyed for her, for him, for them. He's happy he's changed, as PV always hoped all the Beasts would. He wishes them well. He hopes for a similar happy future for himself and Shadow Milk. Everyone else comes around eventually, some sooner than others. (Smoked Cheese excluded. They will never be cool)

It's important to note that I came up with this for them because I enjoy exploring morality and redemption and forgiveness, and what that might look like for certain characters. Even if he's become a better man, does Burning Spice really deserve the happy ending he got? Does it undo anything he did? Does a man like that really deserve forgiveness?

The way Burning Spice would answer those questions is... no. No, he doesn't. He's done too much. The blood on his hands will never wash out. Golden Cheese can only forgive him for what he did to her specifically, not for what he did to the world. And he knows he isn't worthy either way. Should he ever die... well, he's certainly not going to Heaven, that's for sure. So he makes peace with it the best he can and just tries to be better. He can't change the past. All he can do is try to make it a decent present. He's not perfect, no. There are some things you'll never get back after living such a cursed life. The Herald of Change is long gone; perhaps he never truly existed in the first place. He can only be Burning Spice, with the weight of all his sins bearing down on his shoulders, and try. Try to do better. For his wife. For his children. For his comrades. For his people. There's nothing else he CAN do. He can never truly fix what he did. He has to live with that forever. But he's still managed to find happiness even with it, and that makes it bearable. And it's all thanks to her, in the end. Her and the kids. They make it all worthwhile.

I'm sorry I wrote a Bible lol. And also probably derailed at least once. I just hope I answered your questions well enough. This is ultimately how Merchant thinks Golden Cheese will get romantic with Burning Spice. The end

[boysbeloving]

KP two-year anniversary event; Prompt 4: Tension

kinn putting cheese in hot noodles while sitting at the table with vegas and porsche is PEAK TENSION

other bodyguard be like 👀👀👀👀

porsche be like 👀👀👀👀

vegas be like 🙄🙄🙄👀👀😌😌👀👀

kinn be like 🍜🍜🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀 🍜🍜🤤🤤🤤☺️☺️☺️☺️

shoutout to the MVP

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

I feel absolutely exhausted and I haven’t even. done anything today.

[justxellia]

grilled cheesus

very important https://grilledcheesus.com/

yes this website is real I don't know why it exists but it's my duty as a chronically online person to share

it reminds me of the GHILK and GHeese

everyone share the (old) news of this beautiful monstrosity

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

had a conversation about religion with the Theatre Boy yesterday in which I admitted, possibly for the first time, that despite my Christian faith and belief in Heaven and Hell, I kind of wish I DIDN'T believe in that stuff, that I could just believe our consciousness ceases to exist once we die, because I'm scared of the concept of Eternity

[jrueships]

HIS PRECIOUS POPCORN CRADLE LIKE IT'S HIS NEWBORN INFANT 😭

[skhardwarevers1]

never mind about twenty minutes into light research in the rapture and it’s so confusing what the fuck

[cornflake413]

Rip cain

You would have loved the unrestrained violence of whack-a-mole

[boldlydelicatekryptonite]

How to make homemade cheese even with skirm milk.

So you want to make some homemade cheese. Why? Well, you’re in a situation where you need cheese for a recipe but, surprisingly, you have none on hand. You’ve already done your shopping for the week, which means your grocery budget is tapped out. Not to mention, you’ve allocated your time for store visits, and going out again isn’t an option. Additionally, you’re determined to avoid using…

[allaboutyoupostnthings]

A Prayer for God’s Blessings on Families, Nations, and the World, Day 98, Croatia

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for today. Thank you for what you do for me each and every day and for that which I fail to notice. Thank you for taking care of my family, friends, and acquaintances. I ask that you shield and protect them and guide them in this life. Bring them safely home to you. Let them know that you are there for them. Never let me forget your presence in my life and guide…

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

I was talking to my sister and couldn't remember whether cheese is ever mentioned in the Bible, and when I went to look it up, I felt validated because it's only mentioned 3 times in the KJV, so one could easily forget about cheese instances. but I was also disappointed in myself, because one mention comes from the fact that the whole reason David was in the same vicinity as Goliath was because he was delivering 10 cheeses to his brothers, and another is Job's "Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled me like cheese?" which is one of my favorite metaphors for how life feels sometimes. and I really should have remembered both of those off the dome

[bookmark-extraordinaire]

The human world is incredibly complex and no amount of time will ever be enough to understand it all, so I think it’s futile to try and accommodate absolutely *everything* in a story. There will always be stuff you didn’t think about and/or poorly researched or another million variants, so don’t sweat it too much

[lolly-dolli]

Politically I am a hedonist and that means I think we should all work together to make the world better for everyone so we can all enjoy good food and quality bedsheets and arts and crafts and safe homes together

[stegosaurusboy]

I felt bad that I ate an entire tube of Pringle’s in one sitting but then I remembered that that is purely why I had bought them. I had a bag of pretzels and one of tortilla chips to have a crunchy snack at the side of my lunch, but the pringles were for indulgence. I wished to feel as Eve in the garden of Eden and I will bathe in the biblical regret that comes with it

[pjackk]

Bacon is a symbol of the abundance of God’s mercy.

Bread symbolizes Christ, the Bread of Life.

Butter or other dairy products celebrate the end of Lent and the richness of salvation.

A candle, while not edible, symbolizes Jesus, the light of the World.

Cheese reminds Christians of moderation.

Eggs are signs of hope in new life.

Ham or other meats symbolize the abundance of the celebration of the Resurrection.

Whippets represent the rush of life during the moment of resurrection

Sausage links represent the chains of death that were broken by Christ’s resurrection.

Horseradish is a reminder of the bitterness of the Passion and the sour wine given to Christ at the Crucifixion.

Salt preserves us from corruption and speaks to the Bible passage “You are the salt of the earth.”

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.