Satan if you were a satanist before you arrived in the devildom
A/n: listennnn in between getting dragged by the Lucifer chat bots, writing two really long fics and having brain worms about this Au I’ve had so many thoughts and Satan has landed in my radar☺️ asmo and Simon are NEXT bc guardian angels are a whole DIFFERENT can of worms
I’m gunna use like ACTUAL satanic lore mixed in w the game lore
Satan:
- okay so boom
- Right off the bat he can tell you are different
- Sitting back waiting to see how you react to everyone
- Takes note you’re much more respectful to him than the rest
- Thought you were walking on eggshells because you were terrified of him but you ain’t scared at all
- You see through all his pranks
- “He’ll probably see that coming a mile away. Try moving it over here Lucifer don’t check there.”
- Color him impressed
- Does see you don’t really freak out like his brothers when he goes into one of his little rage fits
- When he offered to make the pact with you to piss Lucifer off you were really caught at a pass
- Like for one you technically already have a soft pact with him being a devotee
- But also you don’t want to disrespect him by saying no
- Choosing to not get on Lucifer’s bad side because you still do have a mission to do in that attic, soyou politely decline
- “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make a pact with you that isn’t built on a mutual trust and understanding”
- He’s always told you to sniff out a trap and you were NOT falling for it
- Blinded by rage for not getting his way, that’s when he lashes out
- He feels something weird in his chest when he looks at you in that moment but he can’t quite understand it. Like a tugging feeling at the back of his head trying to tell him something
- When you get caught I. The middle of the whole “they’re the same person thing” you just roll your eyes
- “No shit they’re not the same person🙄😒 Satan and Lucifer couldn’t be more different, Lucifer is the morning star and Satan is more tricker than anything :/ crazy how yall don’t do research”
- Ngl he almost fell for you right then and there
- He cannot STAND that especially when humans call anything and everything Satan and refer to him and Lucifer like they’re the same person.
- Looks at you with star eyes for a second before sticking to you like glue. He’s very fascinated with you and wants to study you under a microscope
- Ask you if you’re like Solomon and have been studying for years
- Did you manage to get your hands on some devildom textbook somehow?
- Maybe even some texts form the celestial realm
- “Not really but that would be super cool to read.”
- He himself hates misinformation so you be correcting all the demon brothers with the quickness
- Lucifer is very annoyed and Satan is elated
- Notices you looking at him a lot, like you’re analyzing him
- Ofc he’s blunt and isn’t gunna beat around the bush he asks you what you’re doing starring at him like that
- “It’s really nice to see what you actually look like… if you’re shape shifting all the time and this is the form you stay in full time it’s… nice to see you face to face”
- Confused for a second because he doesn’t often make trips directly to the human world even for a summoning
- “Well I mean, in the human world we don’t actually know what you look like. The only book that has a description of what you looked like and are has the pages mysteriously ripped out and have never been found. I assume that was your doing?”
- Shocked pikachu bc he fr forgot he did that in his younger years
- His mischievous tendencies have been delegated directly to Lucifer, he understands the value of books now
- “Ah,,, I do recall doing that. It would make sense why you’re starring at me so hard.”
- Blushes when you call him a pretty boy
- Like he’s in his room kicking his feet giggling
- You bring him his offerings directly
- He won’t even realize you’re doing deity work with him and is just excited to spend time with you
- Whenever you come back home from class or whatever you give him little things you got in your way back or snacks he likes
- Nobody has ever seen satan smile this much
- Lucifer peeps when it’s your turn to cook dinner you just so happen to favor foods Satan likes and uses ingredients he does to cook too
- Will be very suspicious of you mirroring his behavior
- Satan is none the wiser truly he’s assure at familiar feeling is like some star crossed lovers stuff and you were meant to meet by fates hands
- Has so many cute cat themed things in his room from you
- Lucifer is not liking how you seem to be trying to gain his trust for your own reasons but he can’t sense anything malicious.
- He can’t pinpoint any alternate motive for this behavior
- Satan will not notice until someone points it out to him
- Lucy straight up asks you why you’re getting so friendly with him
- Mammon also chimes in that you seem like you’re sucking up to him, and Satan feels conflicted be he doesn’t like how they’re accusing you but also the fact that you might be just being nice to him because you want something is setting his nerves on fire
- Rolling your eyes you shoot back at Lucifer that you’re just worshiping Satan like you usually do
- The old man is takes aback and Satan is like…. I beg your pardon?😀
- “Satan has been my patron for years now, the only thing that’s different is that I can give him my offerings and ask him for help directly”
- Mammon is chewing the carpet he’s supposed to be your first man!
- Satan is flabbergasted and is searching his memory for this information
- Before he remembers
- “How did I not notice??”
- “I thought you knew??”
- “NO???”
- Dinner is wild bc now asmo asking for embarrassing memories of you
- Rip bc Satan gon tell it ALL😭
- I feel like he’d be the type to keep a log so he might not remember every single face and name because he does fuck with some people who summon him
- Grabs your notebook from his room and starts reciting shit BAR FOR BAR
- “Oh yeah i remember this! You were quite a rowdy child picking fights with everyone. Your temper was awful”
- “YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING SAY THAY TO ME!!”
- laughing because he’s taking a stroll down memory lane and he’s dragging you along
- Can feel your anger a mile away, he’s in your ear now more than EVER going “don’t you want to go apeshit?”
- Constantly encouraging you to loose your temper on Lucifer
- He feeds off your rage and it feels almost euphoric to him, because he’s an instigator if anything😭
- “Where the fuck is your rage?? Lucifer was definitely disrespecting you👀👀”
- Exhausting
- Lucifer will get on him about having you up for hours on end reading and studying when you need to sleep
- You will NOT fail any class not on his fucking watch! He’s gunna make sure you excel in this exchange program academically
- Even if he’s not who you ask for things he’s helping you
- “Do NOT as belphie for help with dream interpretation I’ll help you!!”
- Very proud to show you off
- “Y’all see MY human?”
- Mammon is trying not to start problems on purpose
- He will probably bend you over Lucifer’s desk bestie it’s inevitable
- If you’re intimate before he knows he’s really gentle and makes sure to take his time with you
- If it’s after he will be rough and mean
- He definitely cares about you and loves you but he will pretend he’s using you as a toy
- As if he’s your god and you’re nothing but a lowly mortal designed to be used and filled up by him
- Choking you out and breeding you for hours on end
- Will be so incredibly gentle with aftercare it’s almost like he’s a different person
- “Look at you drooling and can’t even keep your eyes focused. Pathetic. You’re too stupid to think of anything other than how I’m ruining you”
- Makes you struggle to walk every time
- Gets carried away and marks you everywhere like diavolo asking you why there’s a hickey on your ankle😭
- Almost buys you a collar if Lucifer didn’t stop him
- Wants you to know you belong to him and you’re his little follower
- Tells you how good you are for him and gives you a nice reward
- “You’re so good for me, so eager to please and make me happy. My human deserves a reward hm?”
- Cocky asf for no reason PLEASE humble his ass!!
- Gets off on it when you pin him down and call him pathetic
- “The great avatar of wrath Satan himself bouncing on my lap like a whore desperate to get off.”
- He’s literally turning to mush for you
- Whimpering and looking at you with teary eyes
- “P-please I need to cum I’ll do anything”
- Bites back a moan when you coo at him that he’s so pathetic needing a mortal to get off
- He can feel how mean you are and your anger through your pact and it’s making his body buzz with excitement
- Panting and wiggling his hips he’s begging you to fill him up
- Call him a good kitty and he probably won’t be able to last
- Likes when you punish him like best his ass fr leave bruises make his ass bright red!!
- He’s really just attached to you and will cause a big issue when you have to leave the devildom at the end of the year😅
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Man you are so embarrassing I hope you realise everyone rolls their eyes every time you go on a rant about how cool and unkillable and unemotional you are lol
oh sick, did you do a survey to get that data? it's lovely that you took that kind of initiative for something you're so passionate about! I love that for you 💕
as many of yall may have noticed by now, I love fact-checking anon hate, so let's goooo!!
I don't recall any original posts or reblog additions I've made about myself in that tone, but feel free to follow up with links if I'm forgetting something.
I did do a search for the word "unemotional" on my blog, as I'm reasonably confident that I've repeatedly expressed my emotions on my blog, and that the handful of posts I made discussing psychopathy & the misinformation about it deliberately addressed that psychopathy is not a condition of "no emotions" as many people assume.
I searched "cool" and found the one from a few hours ago where I called my wife cool (which I completely stand by), a bunch of reblogs from other people that included the word, and a couple references to irl friends of mine. I did not find any instance of calling myself cool, though I def agree that that would be 100% eyeroll-worthy.
I'm interested that you find my attempt at a lighthearted/playful mention of the genuinely traumatic experiences of being in situations that had me end up briefly considered clinically dead "embarrassing." That totally reflects very well on you and very poorly on me forsure.
Finally, I'll conclude with a reminder that, while I do find these somewhat snarky fact-checking responses fun to do, I don't and honest to God can't take any hate anons to heart. Not because I'm "unemotional," but because, as I've said about a hundred times, it goes against my personal code to send ANY anons, hate or not. It is very, very important to me to attach my name to everything I choose to say to anyone besides my wife. If you can't hate me with your (still technically anonymous) URL attached, how on earth am I supposed to take it personally?
And I've also said this before, but for the love of God, if you want to actually want to hurt someone's feelings, just do your damn homework and go with something that isn't easily disproven/rebuked. This blog's engagement & the engagement posts like this one get just about every time tell a pretty clear story. So then how are you going to try to convince me "everyone" feels that way? This is low effort and weak. Just fuckin do better. I'm getting tired of having to tell anon haters this. I'm begging yall to do better.
Please enjoy this picture of Nik, who definitely does think I'm very cool because I clean his litter box and give him tasty treats.
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Edit: I am afraid that I may have spread some misinformation, and a lot of the information in this post is technically wrong now. So please PLEASE check the comments! someone left a link to a post on twitter explaining how Hobie’s age is up to opinion, and I think everyone should look at that first. I will still be keeping this post up to to provide a link to the interview if you want to watch it yourself, and I also want to see what other peoples opinions are on the subject! (Please keep it friendly) However, if you are curious to read the psa, go ahead, but keep in mind that it isn’t exactly accurate anymore.
———————————————————————
PSA FOR PUNKFLOWER FANS
WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER- VERSE
———————————————————————
Yall I think we messed up. Hobie could be an adult and we all were wrong about him being 16. My evidence comes from an interview with co-director Kemp Powers. In the interview we get a short mention on Hobie Brown, and that includes his age. [Timestamp: 1:02:21]
And the quote is as following: “… We need to make that character look like a dork. And the character that makes that character look like a dork is Spider Punk. Y’know he’s- he’s nineteen- twenty, six foot three inches tall real thin…”
As far as I am aware this is the best conformation of his age that I have found. HOWEVER this could possibly be referring to the comic version of Hobie, and how the directors found him and all of COMIC Hobie’s details, as we know that in the comics- he’s an adult. But its important to not this because, on every other site I check- they say he’s around 16, and maybe a little older than Gwen. But I’m hesitant because all of those sites have little to no confirmation, and aren’t a stable source of evidence.
ALSO if Hobie really is 19-20 that makes the whole “love triangle” thing with Gwen REALLY weird. I’ve seen a lot of people say that the love triangle was a joke and wasn’t a serious plot point, but again, the interview says other wise.
“ …but wonderfully as we were working on the film he became integral to the plot. And I think that’s-that’s really whats key. ‘Cause it starts with like- well this is kind of a cool character this idea of you know Mile’s starting to have feelings for Gwen and being uncertain about this other boy so punk like immediately filled in that slot. ” [Time stamp: 1:01:40]He then goes on to talk about how over time punk’s character develops more past that and blah blah blah.
The genuine idea of Mile’s being jealous about Hobie and Gwen seems weird to me if Hobie really is an adult, but that fact that he is mentioned to be 19-20 scares me. Powers never mentioned if he was talking about comic or movie Hobie or if they even are different, but it’s very possible Hobie is an adult in the movie.
I could definitely be looking into it WAY to much and if thats true I apologize, but for all my Punk-flower fans out there, maybe it’s best if we hold off on the ship until someone gives out an official age? Or we should at least be careful. I am aware that some of my information and opinions here aren’t clear and I am so sorry for that. And I am also aware that most sites say that Hobie is around 16 but unless we can confirm that, better safe than sorry y’know?
This does not mean any punk flower enjoyers are now like pr0shipers or something- especially because we don’t really know much, and I don’t intend to make anyone feel bad, I only intend to inform everyone on how punk-flower could very possibly be an accidental pr0ship- and if it is we should take it down as quickly as possible. BUT TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT.
Have a nice day, and I love you all 🫶
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