#check with your economics professor
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13thpythagoras · 2 years ago
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freakonomics 391 - advanced theory
(USA relevant -the rest of the English-speaking world has decent universal healthcare and may read along purely for entertainment value)
so my yank and dixie compatriots, class is now in session
So we established last class that health insurance is a scam for most people, rife with monopoly, abuse, and oppression. If you have a chronic condition then it can make sense, but if you're healthy, why pay $300 a month for the right to have a $5,000 deductible that covers 80% of a $80,000 procedure that leaves you owing $16,000 up front? That's a year you just paid $24,600 for something that could have been handled for under $1,000 abroad, cash down. What are flights worth? Another $1,200? You're out less than your premiums in one year.
So you're like me, you don't have health insurance- what are the risks, like really?
Three words- appendey feckn sitis.
Appendicitis that is. One word actually. Appendicitis is the risk.
Appendicitis. *ahem*
So wisdom has it that an ounce of prevention is a worth a pound of cure, the ratio might be even more extreme. What to do?
Medical tourism works great for stuff like dental reconstruction surgery, getting wisdom teeth pulled, or what-have you. But when appendicitis strikes, you have hours, not days, to get care, or you literally die. Dying is super expensive, not worth it at all.
So what's that freaky solution? What's that freakonomics TM solution my guy?
What do we do about this potentially live hand grenade implanted in our guts by the randomness of evolutionary wanderings?
Preventative medical tourism. Bam.
You wake up from anasthesia in a bathtub full of ice in a developing country, missing a bodily organ. You thank the folks and leave a generous tip on your way out.
That organ was your appendix. You are now in Thailand on a beach recovering with a beverage of your choice. Or Mexico. Or Canada, but it's cold, wherever, literally anywhere in the developed world, and much of the developing world, has better healthcare than the monopolized USA's health system.
You can never get appendicitis ever in your life, and now you're on vacation.
Godspeed!
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100vern · 7 months ago
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ex-conomics | csc
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you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.
⚽ pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader ⚽ genre: exes to (lite) enemies to lovers; university au; angst, fluff ⚽ rating: while there is nothing explicit in this fic, there are two brief references to smut. while i can't stop anyone from reading this, i would prefer minors do not interact with this or any of my work. ⚽ warnings: cheol is some degree of famous, reader is a grad student/TA, mentions of an injury and coping with the aftermath of it, lots of economics talk that even i do not understand, swearing, one mention of alcohol, some misplaced jealousy, rom-com tropes, dino is kind of a loser but we love him anyway. probably a lot of other things i missed, but this is actually pretty tame for a fic of this length. ⚽ word count: 13.4k ⚽ thank you: a lot of people looked this over for me in the process and i'm sure i will forget some of them so if i do i'm sorry: @the-boy-meets-evil, @hot-soop, @highvern, and @haologram, who also gave me some wonderful ideas for the vlogs. thank you to MIT for opencourseware existing. i took microeconomics and dropped it, so i couldn't have done this without you. everyone in the discord server for helping me along the way and keeping me motivated. ⚽ author's note: i haven't posted a fic in nearly seven months, so i think it goes without saying that there are parts of this i like and a lot more i'm not 100% happy with. i'd love if this was more fleshed out and 10k longer, but i was able to write anything at all so it's good enough. this was written for the back to school with seventeen collab, hosted by @camandemstudios. thank you both for letting me participate! please make sure to check out the rest of the stories! everyone worked so hard and this collab was a ton of fun to participate in. <3
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You look down at the paper. Back up at who handed it to you. Down at the paper again.
“You’ve got to be joking.”
The poor freshman kid laughs, all nerves, and even though the sound is grating, you remember what it’s like to be forced into work study. How far away graduate school seemed; how large your professors loomed over you with all their power and knowledge and credentials; how you constantly felt like the dumbest person in nearly every room you walked into for four straight years.
“Um—”
You sigh, just barely resisting the urge to slam your head onto your desk. “I—it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Your words do little to ease Freshman’s nerves. He’s still hunched over in the doorway of your office, wringing his hands as he shifts his weight back and forth, in for a lifetime of body pain with the way he’s squaring his shoulders. “You’re sure about this, though? Like, I’m really not being set up?”
“I don’t think so?” he offers, slowly starting to turn green right before your eyes. “Dr. Lee ga-gave me the paperwork himself, I don’t think he would’ve messed it up? Oh no, did I mess it up? Should I go back to Student Services and conf—”
Good god, this kid’s anxiety is gonna stink up your office for weeks. “No need!” you interject. “I’ll just…” Sign it, you want to say, but the longer you stare at the sheet of paper the quicker you’re losing your resolve.
TUTORING REQUEST FORM Student Name: Choi Seungcheol Degree: Undergraduate Major: Business Course: ECON04101 Introduction to Microeconomics Instructor: Lee Yeonseok, PhD. Recommended Tutoring: High (3-4 hours per week)
You curse under your breath. Of the two names on the paper, Dr. Lee’s does not come as a surprise. He’s a notorious hard-ass with an infamous attrition rate—most students don’t last more than a week in any of his classes—but he’s also the sole reason you were able to pay for someof your grad school tuition out of pocket with all the tutoring money you made.
That, however, was two years ago.
“Does he know I don’t tutor anymore?” Stupid question. The kid stares blankly back at you, as if to say I don’t know any more than the people in Student Services, let alone Dr. Lee. It is literally my first year here. “I’m Dr. Ahn’s TA this year. I’ve got my hands full with her bullsh… stuff—”
Immediately, you know you’ve said something wrong, because the kid’s eyes light up, all that previous anxiety disappearing like smoke. “Wait, the same Dr. Ahn that teaches the crypto course?”
“No, that one died,” you say quickly. Kid deflates. “Anyway, I don’t really tutor anymore, especially for econ. As you can see”—you gesture vaguely around the cramped four walls of your office—“they’ve upgraded me. They even put my name on a little placard by the door! Go look! They spelled it wrong! If that doesn’t sum up this university I don’t know what does.”
You heave another sigh. Try to school your face and tone into something that exudes professionalism and finality. “Look, I’m sorry I can’t help you. I tutored Dr. Lee’s students for, like, three years in undergrad so I’m sure they just… forgot that wasn’t my actual job here. Who’s in charge of tutoring these days? I’ll shoot them an email and explain all this.”
Freshman gives you a name, and it takes less than a second to find them in the employee directory. You expect that to be the end of it, but he’s still taking up space in your doorway. You quirk an eyebrow. “Yes?”
The hand-wringing returns, along with an embarrassed flush that disappears beneath the neckline of his school-branded sweatshirt. “I just—um. Maybe you could, uh. Send that now? Before I get back there?”
You blink. “Don’t you have to go all the way back across campus? How slow do you think I type?” He shrugs, and you give up on the idea of getting rid of him. “Fine. What’s your name, anyway?”
“Lee Chan. I’m a sophomore. Do you know that guy?”
“Oh. I thought for sure you were a freshman, but you’re gonna need to be more specific, Lee Chan, Sophomore.”
“The guy they want you to tutor.” You freeze. The guy they want you to tutor is—“Choi Seungcheol,” Chan tacks on, and, yeah, you know—knew, you correct yourself—someone with that name, once upon a time.
But there are a lot of Chois and a lot of Seungcheols. It’s been years since you’ve spoken to the Seungcheol you knew, and that was when he’d broken up with you to—“I heard he’s a football player? Well, used to be, I guess. The girls in the office were freaking out so I guess he’s pretty famous, but I don’t know anything about sports, do you? They said they have photocards of him. I thought they only did that for idols.”
You think about being kids together in Daegu. Think about the exasperated looks you’d share when your parents would drag the two of you to festivals: Palgongsan in the autumn, Biseulsan in the spring; transformation and rebirth. Think about being eight years old and watching your father cram into the small space of the Chois’ living room, standing around the TV with Seungcheol’s dad, shouting at Park Jonghwan. Daegu FC made the FA Cup quarterfinals that year, and you think, of everything, that’s what you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
You think about falling in love slowly. Sixteen and clueless, the pair of you were. Didn’t really know any different, just that you’d look at him and feel butterflies. That you’d hold hands in secret. Text beneath the dinner table. That you’d watch him on the football pitch and be consumed by pride. That the future felt impossibly far away, that life would never catch up to the two of you.
You think about all the football jargon you didn’t understand—the academies, the teams, the implications. You think about, I’m thinking about trying out for the FC Seoul U-18, I just don’t think there’s much more I can do here in Daegu. You think about replying, Oh, I applied to university there.
You remember thinking it must’ve been fate, how easy that had worked out. How easy that first hurdle had been overcome.
You think about how fast everything happened. The try-out, the acceptance, the explosion. Remember being unable to go anywhere those first few months without seeing Seungcheol’s face, touted as the next big thing. Think about applying for scholarships when he was applying for international visas. Think about studying for midterms when Seungcheol was studying English for interviews.
You think about the last few weeks of your relationship, when it felt like you were desperately trying to cling to ghosts. Think about how Seoul had once felt endlessly big, both in opportunity and size, and how it now felt suffocating. You think about, So you’re just giving up? Is that what you’re saying? Think about, I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t feel fair to you.
You think about all the places you’ve watched him. On countless football pitches; shy glances in school hallways; in the passenger seat, wracked with nerves on the drive to Seoul; poised above you in bed, hairline dotted with sweat as he rolled his hips, telling you how much he loved you.
You think about watching him walk out the door, and how you never watched him again.
So you fire off your email, concise and to the point about why you can’t tutor Choi Seungcheol in Introduction to Microeconomics, and turn to Lee Chan, Sophomore.
“No,” you finally answer. “Never heard of him.”
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For all intents and purposes, your rejection should’ve been the end of it.
A few days go by. You hold office hours, attend lectures, work on your thesis when you have both the time and the energy. Try to ignore the feeling of bees beneath your skin, anxiety needling each time you check your email. You were well within your right to decline the tutoring request, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong. That someone somehow knows who Seungcheol was to you and will pull you up on it. That those girls who’d gushed about him to Chan are somewhere laughing at your expense.
But you don’t hear anything at all about it… until you do.
Sunday evening. You haven’t moved from your couch in hours, some variety show playing in the background, barely audible over your keyboard clacking. Much to your detriment, you don’t write many papers these days, so you’re out of practice. Feels like you haven’t done anything besides formulas in years, all of your academic knowledge reduced to fucking math, so you’re about ready to toss your laptop out the window long before the email even comes through.
You see, From: Lee Yeonseok. You see, Subject: Choi Seungcheol - Tutoring.
Your stomach plummets to the floor.
You scan the body quickly. You see the words personal favor… friend of his father… urgent matter… and your hands start shaking. Whether it’s from the sheer audacity of this man or anxiety, you aren’t sure, but it’s not like it matters. There aren’t a whole lot of people on campus brave or dumb enough to go up against him twice.
“Motherfucker,” you spit, bitter the only taste in your mouth.
Where did you go wrong to wind up here? You’d followed the script: got the grades, passed the exams, received half of the required education for the Respectable Career, helped a few others along the way chase dreams that may or may not have been their own. You’d fallen in love. Only had a broken heart to show for it, but that’d been in the script, too: The First Love, followed by The First Heartbreak.
The split from Seungcheol was supposed to have been the end of that chapter. You’d planned on never seeing him again, and you never would have, had it been up to you. Apparently the universe has other plans, participation required.
“Did you spill onion dip on the rug again?” You startle, sending your laptop flying. Kaori, your roommate, is perched halfway in between the living room and the kitchen like a cryptid, clearly not expecting your reaction. “Oh. Were you watching porn?”
Face burning, you fetch your laptop from the floor. “In a common area? Kaori, please, I have far more decorum than that.”
She snorts, resuming her trek to the fridge. “See, that’s what I thought, but then I walked out here and you threw your laptop so fast it was like watching my ex get caught watching furry porn all over again.” She pries the lid off a large container of yogurt. “You think this is still good?”
“Dunno. What’s it smell like?”
She sniffs it and pulls it back to check the label. “Vanilla, I think, which is concerning because it’s supposed to be strawberry.”
You shrug. “What’s the worst that can happen, you get extra”—you pause, trying to remember the correct order of things, before giving up entirely—“...biotics?”
“Mm, so close. Care if I just eat this with a spoon?”
Nose scrunched, you wave her off. “Couldn’t pay me to eat yogurt on a good day, let alone if it’s expired. All yours, babe.”
Spoon in hand and a pleased smile on her face, Kaori collapses onto the couch beside you. You try to return your attention to your paper, try to find your momentum again, and it works for all of ten minutes before you’re groaning and slamming the top closed.
You don’t even need to look over to know Kaori’s staring. “What’s up with you?” she asks. Before she can answer: “Wait, is this serious? Because I can’t have a serious conversation in this t-shirt.” You steal a glance sideways. Ask Me About My Hemorrhoid! it says, and you exhale loudly. “Don’t breathe at me, I lost a bet.”
“And continued wearing it?”
She jokingly rolls her eyes. “God forbid a girl has hobbies.” Nudges you with her foot. “C’mon, spill.”
Kaori doesn’t know about you and Seungcheol. Most people don’t, aside from a few old classmates from Daegu who found you on social media and tried befriending you once he started making a name for himself in Seoul. After that, it was just easier to keep things private while you were together. New friends knew you were seeing someone but not their name or how long you’d been together. Any curiosity surrounding why the Choi Seungcheol was following you on Insta had been waved away easily. Our parents are friends, we grew up together. Then you broke up, and there wasn’t any evidence to delete, and he wasn’t following you on Instagram anymore, and it was easier that way.
So, yeah—even though you hadn’t met her until years later, Kaori knows you have an ex. She knows you’ve had a few flings and situationships in the time since, too, and it’s why she’s none the wiser when you ask, “It’s nothing, really. Just—do you follow football at all?”
“Nah, not really. The new guy’s pretty into it and keeps trying to get me to watch the games with him, but it’s so fucking boring? I dunno, I can’t get into it. Not in real life, anyway—I binged all of Captain Tsubasa in an embarrassingly short amount of time, though. Why?”
“Student Services asked me to tutor someone the other day and I had to turn it down. I just don’t have the time, you know? This semester’s already killer, and Dr. Ahn’s been riding my ass nonstop about grades. Turns out it’s some football player, so Dr. Lee emailed me asking me to do it as a personal favor, which means, on top of all the other shit I have to do, I’m now tutoring some football player four hours a week in Microeconomics.”
Her face distorts. “God, that guy’s such a prick. Like wow, you’re good at the economy! Good for you! Who cares! Why don’t you go balance the national debt or something instead of torturing university freshmen!”
You also wrongly assume that’s the last you’ll hear of it from Kaori.
Two days later, after Student Services replies to your email with the days and times you’ll be tutoring Seungcheol, she materializes in the living room to harass you.
“You didn’t tell me your football player was Choi Seungcheol.”
The panic is instant. You know how she means it, but it’s not how your body interprets it. All of a sudden it feels like an interrogation, an accusation, and a whopping serving of guilt takes up residence in the middle of your chest for not being entirely honest.
“Explains this weird text Ken sent me.”
She slides her phone over to you, open to her text thread with her current flavor of the week. Beneath an article about Seungcheol enrolling in classes at your school:
doesn’t ur roomie TA there Why are you calling her “ur roomie” like you don’t know her name?? Rude. Also yes. ask her to get me an autograph No babe pls he was my fav player before he got injured No 🙄 fine. can i come over later? Starting to think you’re using me for my roommate. Get your own job 🙄
You hand her phone back. “I didn’t think you’d know who Choi Seungcheol even is.” It’s the best you can do, even though it just digs you a deeper grave. “You said you’re not into football.”
“I’m not, but unfortunately I am into that stupid man.” She sighs, wistful and longing. “Babe, you have to understand. His dick is so big.”
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You hadn’t wanted to stay in Seoul for your graduate degree, let alone the same university you’d gone to for undergrad.
You’d applied to schools all over—Japan, Europe, even a few in the States. Romanticized the hell out of NYU, went window shopping for an overpriced apartment, picked a favorite pizzeria based on nothing but vibes and online reviews. In those few months after graduation, there wasn’t a whole lot tying you to Seoul. Your and Seungcheol’s relationship had been old history by then, your parents split. Your dad stayed in your childhood home and your mother moved a few hours closer to her sister. They’d waited until your brother was old enough to be out of the house.
And it’d just been… a lot. Overwhelming. Some days you could barely shower or feed yourself, let alone move halfway across the world, so you’d stayed in the familiar and tried not to let it feel like failure.
But the good thing about familiarity is you learn its tricks, figure out the hiding spots. Early on, your first or second week of grad school, you laid claim to a study room on a floor of the library everyone else ignored. You write notes on the whiteboard with faded blue markers that are still there days later. The chair on the opposite side of the table is always exactly where you left it, the space between it and the table enough to only accommodate you. Sometimes you leave books—old paperbacks littered with notes in your writing—or papers, just to see if they move.
They never do.
And all of this is why it feels like a punch to the gut when that sanctity is tainted. When you’re halfway through a stack of Dr. Ahn’s exams and the doorknob rattles behind you. When you don’t even need to turn around to know who it is, because he still sounds the same, still has that overwhelming presence. You’ve always sensed him before you felt him.
“There you are,” Dr. Lee says, ambling into the room before you can protest. He, too, is overwhelming, just in different ways. Immaculate posture that anchors his slight frame that’s always dressed impeccably and expensively. Wears a watch that’s triple your tuition. Shoes polished so bright they’re nearly blinding. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
This time it is an accusation.
Well, you found me, you want to say, but just knowing Seungcheol is behind him, lingering in that half-study room, half-hallway space, is enough to keep you quiet. Like if you speak you’ll summon him closer and you’ll no longer be able to pretend this is nothing more than a nightmare.
You plaster on a polite smile. Say, “Ah, here I am, kyosu-nim,” and put all your energy into trying to glue Seungcheol to the floor with your mind.
Which is fruitless, because Dr. Lee moves further into the room. Gestures for Seungcheol to follow him with an impatient huff, and the study room is small, sure, and with three people it feels cramped, but that’s not the reason it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room.
Seungcheol looks… different. He looks as anxious as you feel, and he sticks close to the wall like he’s trying to disappear. Dr. Lee introduces him with grave importance, unaware of your history, and the forced smile he offers you almost looks embarrassed.
You know Dr. Lee is still hammering away, probably giving you a stern talking-to for rejecting his request the first time, but you can’t tear your eyes away from Seungcheol. Feels like the world around you has reduced to a pinhead, all hyperfocus; feels like your lungs are sucking in stale air one at a time.
“...his father is a very good friend of mine, so I expect…”
You expected to feel nothing. Seungcheol had left to chase his dream—one you’d always been so supportive of that it sometimes felt like your dream, too—and, perhaps naively, you thought the distance and the years would’ve been enough. You expected your heart to have hardened. You expected all those nights you spent crying to hit you at full force. You expected anger, hurt—indifference, at the very least.
“...as many hours per week as you both can manage…”
But you should’ve known better. Should’ve expected the butterflies, the way your palms grow clammy, the way your heart rate spikes. Should’ve expected everything to feel upside-down. You should’ve expected to look at Seungcheol and feel sixteen and in love all over again.
“...you are responsible for his academic progress…”
And that simply will not do. You’ve spent the last few years pulling yourself out of that hole, clawing your way back to something resembling normal. You’ve purged the thought of him from your mind—let his scent fade from your sheets, an old sweatshirt he’d left behind; forgot the way his lips felt against every inch of your skin; forgot the way his entire being lit up when he laughed; forgot the safety he encompassed, the way he whispered all those sweet nothings.
You cannot go there again.
So you roll your shoulders back, smile politely. Say, “Ah, kyosu-nim, Choi Seungcheol-ssi seems very intelligent, I’m sure he is capable of being responsible for his own academic standing, don’t you think?”
Dr. Lee cannot disagree without all but calling Seungcheol an idiot, so he hovers before you in shocked silence. Makes a show of huffing and checking his watch, like he’s all of a sudden remembered he’s late for something and being inconvenienced by this conversation he started, and then he’s halfway out of the library with a terse, “Discuss and figure this out amongst yourselves,” thrown over his shoulder.
You have an entire dramatic exit planned in your head. Gather your things, fake a phone call that makes you sound authoritative and important, and brush past Seungcheol wearing your nicest perfume as if all of this is so far beneath you you can’t even bring yourself to care about it.
Of course, you actually have to brush by him for any of that to happen, and since you’ve already decided you will not go there again, you quickly scribble your email address onto a piece of paper and slide it across the table at Seungcheol, who has steadfastly remained planted just outside the door. “Here’s my email. I don’t have time to discuss this right now.” Seungcheol cocks an eyebrow. You start throwing things into your bag haphazardly. You know you look frantic and affected, but there’s not much you can do about that. “What? Send me a copy of your syllabus and what you want to prioritize. It’ll be easier to get through this if we have a plan instead of winging it.”
He seems to catch on to your distaste because he mirrors it. Scoffs as he rolls his eyes and says, “Yeah, no use spending more time together than we have to,” and if you hadn’t gone years without speaking, you would’ve seen right through it.
But you did, so it stings all the same.
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As it typically does, the planet keeps spinning after your run-in with Seungcheol.
You grade Dr. Ahn’s coursework. Try running off your anxiety at the gym, even though it’s pretty good at keeping pace with you these days. You meet Kaori’s maybe-boyfriend sneaking out of your apartment early in the morning and he has the good sense not to mention your ex, but you chalk that up to the mess of hickeys covering his neck and not any sense of social decorum.
Other people’s embarrassment saves you a ton of your own, you’ve come to learn.
Throughout all of this, Seungcheol only emails you once to send you his course syllabus. Doesn’t mention tutoring or provide you with his schedule or ask for yours, so when you’re sitting in a bar with your friends, three or four drinks deep and feeling a little petty, you forward him the original tutoring request and make sure to bold, underline, and highlight the “Recommended Tutoring: High” part for good measure.
He doesn’t take your bait—electronically, at least—but he does show up to your office hours the following Tuesday.
Bag tossed onto the floor, he flops unceremoniously into the chair across from you and says, in lieu of a greeting, “They spelled your name wrong. On the door thing.”
“I know,” you reply, your smile polite and terse. Incredible how he has the ability to raise your blood pressure in milliseconds. “What can I help you with?”
“Depends. How long do you have?”
“Well, considering you’ve shown up to my office hours on time, I’m assuming you already know I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday from four to six. So”—you glance at the clock above the door—“assuming no one comes by who needs my help more than you do, you have approximately one hour and fifty-eight minutes.”
Seungcheol is quiet for a moment as he takes you in. His stare is weighted; it makes you feel a little green around the edges. Clinical and sharp, so far removed from the way he used to look at you. You clear your throat. “I looked over your syllabus. The good news is there’s only a midterm and a final and the rest is problem sets. The bad news is there’s only a midterm and a final so they’re weighted quite heavily. You really need to know this stuff inside-out to have any hope of passing.”
“That’s why you’re here, right? Dr. Lee specifically requested you.”
You huff a breath through your nose. “I’m here as supplemental help. I can’t take your exams or do your readings for you. What else are you taking this semester?”
He sighs, sinking further into the chair, very much playing the part of the heir who has no interest in any of this. Which… is unlike him, you think, if you’re even allowed to. The Seungcheol you knew years ago took everything so seriously. Never clipped corners or took shortcuts. Anyone else would think him a spoiled, petulant child. “Business Accounting and International Trade.”
“Could be worse,” you note. “At least those three courses are tangentially related.”
Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “Easy for you to say. I haven’t taken a fucking math class in years.”
You return it. “You remember how to add and subtract, don’t you?”
“I ruptured my ACL, not my…” He trails off, looking a little embarrassed that he can’t name a part of the—“Brain.”
Whatever you were going to quip back with dies on your tongue. It's the first time Seungcheol has broached the topic of his injury—the first you’re hearing of it at all, actually—and he says it like it’s a joke, like it’s not a thing at all, but the pain is all over his face. The bitterness of the situation he’s found himself in. The unfairness of it all.
And there are so many questions you want to ask that aren’t your place: if it’s fixable, if he’ll ever play again, how he’s coping. But you don’t really need to—you can’t imagine how you’d feel if someone suddenly pulled the rug out from under you. If everything contained within the four walls of your office suddenly disappeared.
Not that the man sitting across from you hadn’t already done that, but.
“Right,” you continue, as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You know Seungcheol—know he wouldn’t want you prodding, sticking your fingers in that particular wound. “I want you to take a look at this,” you say, handing over a printout you have saved from your undergrad tutoring days. “Tell me what looks familiar, what doesn’t; what does and doesn’t make sense.”
He looks down at the paper. Back up at you. Down at the paper again. “What the fuck is this?”
“I—what? Cheol, it’s my old notes on recitation. Surely you’ve already covered this—the syllabus says this is week one stuff.” He looks down at the paper again, and it’s so familiar, watching the life drain entirely from someone’s eyes.
You barely resist the urge to slam your face onto your desk a second time.
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You meet Seungcheol at the sports center for your next tutoring session.
He likes the humidity and the smell of the chlorine by the pool. He also likes that it’s not the football pitch, so the two of you sit in the bleachers there and go over his lecture notes. Much to your surprise, Seungcheol talks a mile a minute. Has stars in his eyes when he says he finally understands elastic demand curves, supply shock; tells you he spent a whole hour making flashcards.
It’s the first time you’ve seen him so excited since your tutoring began—the first glimmer of hope you’ve felt since Dr. Lee cornered you in your library hideaway. None of this surprises you. Seungcheol has always been smart, even when football was his primary (and sometimes only) focus. He has more determination and grit than anyone you’ve ever met, so you’re not surprised he’s doing well, excelling, but you are surprised—
“Can I ask you something?” Seungcheol shrugs, shoves half a protein bar in his mouth and swallows without chewing. “Why are you… uh. Here?”
“At this university?”
“Not exactly. I mean, I am wondering about that, but I guess… why business?”
Seungcheol hums. Tucks his good knee to his chest and stares down at the pool. No one’s using it, and truthfully the two of you probably aren’t even allowed to be here, but you understand why he likes it. It’s nowhere near as secluded as the library and definitely not as air conditioned, but it is peaceful. Calm. The water laps against the coping in quiet, small waves.
“Ah, I don’t know. You know how it goes.”
You quirk an eyebrow. Never, in all the years you’ve known him, has Seungcheol done anything he didn’t want to do. All that grit and determination. “What about your father, then? Dr. Lee mentioned this was a favor to him. He’s a pretty important person to have in your Rolodex of favors.”
Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what this is: Seungcheol’s father has new money; worked from the bottom up, made some smart investment decisions that finally panned out after Seungcheol left for Seoul. Started doing his own thing, made a name for himself. Last you’d heard from your mother, Seungcheol’s brother was second-in-command. Hell, even your own brother did an internship there.
So you know what this is: a father helping his son after his dream was shattered, life turned upside-down. You can’t blame him, even if you’ve heard the whispers from all the way across campus. That Seungcheol is washed up now, trying to nepo his way into his father’s company because of it; that all he knows is sports and he should’ve stuck to that, what does he know about business, why is he the one Dr. Lee went out of his way to help.
Doesn’t stop any of them from smiling at him, though; doesn’t stop them from asking for autographs or selfies.
But you also know this isn’t something Seungcheol seems willing to discuss, so you crack a joke—“I mean, business. God, who’d wanna go into that?”—and go back to what he was willing to talk about.
You’ve never hated elastic demand curves so much in your life.
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Deep in the throes of tutoring—when you can’t tell if it’s week two or week twelve—you make it back to your apartment just before ten, head pounding.
The door flies open just as you’re about to punch in the code, and there stands Ken, looking far more put-off than you’ve ever seen him. Looks defeated, if you’re being honest, like someone mopped up all his emotions and wrung them out like dirty dishwater.
“Oh, hi,” you say hesitantly. The man in front of you seems too much like a caged animal to let your guard down. “Everything okay?”
He aborts a nod halfway. Mutters an apology as he brushes by you and stalks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevators. Usually he’s a talker—you haven’t been able to avoid a Seungcheol-related conversation in weeks—so you’re a little stunned. Stand there stupidly for a while, and that’s where Kaori finds you a moment later.
“You gonna stand out here all night, or…?”
“Oh—yeah, right.”
You follow her inside. Toe off your shoes and put them in the rack. Focus on the sound of the kettle whistling instead of the overbearing tension in the room. Drop your bag off in your room, throw on a sweatshirt three sizes too big and a comfy pair of socks. Rummage through the fridge for leftovers, contemplate what mindless show you’ll watch as you eat, and you do not, under any circumstances, ask Kaori what happened.
You don’t have to. You knew what this was going to be the first time Ken spent the night—the way he looked mortified to be meeting you in the shared kitchen at seven a.m., wearing a look that begged you not to tell your roommate he was sneaking out.
I, uh, have an early class, he’d said. You know how it is.
Maybe you should’ve called him on it then. Issued a warning-but-not-really. She’ll get attached if you don’t tell her. She should know it’s different for you, if it is.
But you’d convinced yourself it wasn’t your place. Kaori wouldn’t want you in her business like that, so you stayed quiet, just nodded before watching him slip his shoes on and close the door behind him so quietly you wouldn’t have known he left at all if you hadn’t been looking. Gone, just like a ghost.
So, yeah, you know exactly why your roommate looks haunted.
“I’m a few episodes behind on this if you want to watch with me,” you offer, pointing at the television with the remote. It’s a lie—you’ve never watched this show a day in your life, which Kaori seems to know—but she contemplates it nonetheless. “Also, my mom mailed us some cookies. I think they’re in the fridge.”
“Why are there cookies in the fridge?”
You huff a laugh. “They were outside the door this morning before I left for campus. I don’t know—just saw who the package was from and was like, oh, this must go in the fridge.”
She nods. Grabs the container and joins you on the couch. Sticks her feet beneath your butt and doesn’t mention a thing.
The closest she comes is a few days later. Catches you right before you head out to campus and asks how tutoring is going.
“Not bad, actually.”
Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes when she says, “That’s good. I’m glad things are going well for you two.”
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Lee Chan, Sophomore makes his unexpected return at your office hours on an unsuspecting Tuesday.
“Can I help you?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just helps himself to the seat across from you. “Maybe,” comes his cryptic retort. “I was thinking about signing up for that crypto course next semester.”
You narrow your eyes. “No, you weren’t.”
He sighs. Looks a little panicked, like he can’t believe that didn’t work. “You’re right, you’re right. I, um—I wanted to come say thank you.” He pauses. “You know, for that… email you sent.”
You blink. “No, you didn’t.”
Lee Chan, Sophomore cracks immediately. Thunks his head on your desk and lets loose a pained sound. It nearly sounds like he’s wailing when he says, “I’m sorry! They put me up to it!”
What you’re able to piece together is this: Lee Chan, Sophomore has become a bit of a celebrity in the Student Services department ever since he met you, Choi Seungcheol’s tutor. And, like any smart, previously unpopular university student would do, he took advantage of it. Might’ve stretched the truth a little to make it sound like he knew more than he did, so now here he is, angling for information the girls with the photocards may or may not have paid him to get.
“They want to know about his girlfriend.”
“His what?”
What you’re able to piece together is also this: the Photocard Girls are certain Seungcheol is dating someone, based on little more than vibes. You suspect these vibes are their three degrees of separation, considering there was an abnormal amount of Change of Major files formed after his enrollment, but you tell Lee Chan that you don’t know anything and, even if you did, you wouldn’t put his business out there like that.
But some part of you still has this inexplicable urge to protect Seungcheol, so you match their offer with interest and tell him to say there’s nothing to report—not that you didn’t know, not that he couldn’t get anything out of you. Seungcheol isn’t dating anyone.
You don’t know if it’s true, but you figure that if it isn’t, he still deserves privacy.
Which is a notion you have trouble explaining a few hours later, when Seungcheol strolls into your office with a grease-stained paper bag full of cheese coin bread, offering one to you with a proud smile that drops slowly when you just stare in return.
“What’s wrong?”
Your mouth opens, closes, opens again. Nothing comes out, even though it should be simple. Some sophomore kid was just in here angling for information or the Student Services department is taking bets on whether or not you have a girlfriend would both suffice, but you cannot bring yourself to say the words.
What you settle on is, “Sorry, I just… had an interesting meeting before you got here.”
“Oh. Are you okay?”
You sigh. Tilt your head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It was about you, actually.”
Seungcheol chokes, starts stuttering over words you can’t make sense of. Says, “Me? Why? I passed my last exam—I mean, barely, but I still passed. And that wasn’t your fault! I didn’t study enough! I’ve been losing my mind over my International Trade class, that shit sucks—”
“It wasn’t about your grades, Cheol.”
“Oh.” Then, slowly, a lopsided, pleased smile overtakes his face. “Haven’t heard you call me Cheol in a while.”
“Seungcheol,” you correct.
He seems to forget all about the meeting. Tries again to offer you a coin bread before he threatens to eat them all himself, so you acquiesce mostly to shut him up, say you’ll bring the extras to Kaori. For some reason, you tell him about how much she’d loved the cookies your mom sent, and the nostalgia sets him off, gets him talking again, asking if they were the yakgwa she used to make when you two were kids.
They were, but you can’t seem to tell him that, either.
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Seungcheol: sorry it’s last minute - running late. can you meet me at my place instead?
Seungcheol shared a location with you
You’re halfway to replying—I don’t think that’s appropriate—before you sigh and delete it. Midterms are only a few days away and you don’t have time to argue over where your tutoring sessions will be, so if Seungcheol wants to meet at his apartment that’s where you’ll meet him.
You read over the midterm notes on the train. Once, twice, and then a hundred more times until they’re nearly memorized, all so you can ignore the voice in the back of your head saying what a bad idea this is. That you have no business being on your way to your ex’s swanky part of town or integrating yourself into his life beyond tutoring at all. You shouldn’t know where he lives. Maybe you shouldn’t even have his phone number or answer his texts.
Not that there’s much you can do about it now, two stops away.
Seungcheol greets you warmly, if not a little rushed. Apologizes for the mess once you step inside, although it’s less “mess” and more “haven’t finished unpacking,” but there’s enough clear space to study at the dining table, so that’s where you set up, determined to keep things professional.
“Sorry again about this,” Seungcheol says, placing a can of cola in front of you as he takes the seat across. “I had to meet with my father and lost track of time, I guess.”
“Oh. How’s he doing?”
Seungcheol sighs, leans further back in the chair as runs a hand through his hair. A light brown, now. “Same as he always was, I guess. Talked about the business, about my brother. Can’t get him to shut up about that stuff most of the time.”
“The business is doing good, though.” You cough, clear your throat. “My, uh. My brother interned there during undergrad. I don’t know if your father told you that.”
You don’t know why you say it, because it’s clear from the brief flicker of pain on Seungcheol’s face that he hadn’t known, that no one had told him. And it hurts you too that they felt the need to keep it a secret, to protect Seungcheol from you even in tangential ways.
“He didn’t,” he admits, “but I’m sure he was happy to see him. He was, uh—he was glad to hear you’re my tutor. Said you were always smarter than all of us boys combined.”
You laugh. Hope it sounds casual instead of strained. “Well, no need to prove him right. Come on,” you say, tossing a study guide in his direction, “let’s get to work.”
Everything is alright for a while—nearly an hour at least. He has the formulas memorized and attributed to the correct equations. He can explain supply and demand, preference and utility, but things start to fall apart around budget constraints and constrained choice.
The formulas get mixed up. He grows frustrated when he doesn’t know the answers to your questions right away. Rolls his eyes and gets a little snappy when you correct him, try to explain things differently in a way he understands. At first he’s able to temper it, collect himself before things truly start spiraling out of control, but the longer the two of you sit there the more it all unravels.
He snaps, you snap back, and you can’t figure out why. You’ve survived this long in Seungcheol’s orbit even though you never thought you’d be around him again, and perhaps it was bound to explode eventually, but…
It’s the familiarity, you realize.
You and Seungcheol aren’t friends, though you’ve been playing at it for weeks now: meeting outside of the library or your office, the personal conversations bordering on reminiscing, being in his personal space. You don’t belong here. You don’t want to be his friend—you can’t be, not for real or pretend.
“That’s not what I’m say—”
“Then explain it better,” Seungcheol fires at you, eyebrows creasing. “You’re the tutor here.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m trying, okay? All I meant was—your answer isn’t wrong, but I know Dr. Lee and he’s going to want more than that in a response.”
“Right—not good enough, like I said.”
“I’m just asking you to expand on your answer—”
“And I’m telling you that’s all I’ve got. I’m not like you, all right? I don’t have all this shit just floating around in my head all the time. I’m not smart, I barely have any idea what’s going on half the time, and you sitting here being condescending about it is doing fuck-all to help.”
You inhale sharply, taken aback at the hostility in his voice. Suggest calling it for the night, say neither of you will be productive if you keep going like this, and neither of you bother to apologize.
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So much of your relationship with Seungcheol was marred by clichés.
The two of you passing notes back and forth during class. You in the bleachers of all his games, screaming along to the team chants, waving a sign around with his name on it. Not realizing you had a crush on him at all until he liked someone else and it made your stomach hurt. Childhood friends turned lovers.
Another cliché: that it’s starting to feel like that all over again.
Seungcheol sits across from you in the library, econ textbook cracked in half in front of him as he pays no attention. Keeps grabbing his phone each time it vibrates across the table. Can’t fight the smile that forces its way onto his face when he reads whatever’s there.
Stupid, you think—both to do this and to think it’d play out any other way. Seungcheol left years ago. Probably lived ten lifetimes while he was away while you were here in this exact spot doing this exact thing. Barely lived half a life, just stuck your nose in textbooks and forced your way through.
“Cheol,” you say, trying to drag his attention back to the study guide. No use. He’s typing away, presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek as he responds. “Seungcheol,” you try again.
Also fruitless.
You have no claim here, you remind yourself—not to his time, not to him. He’s only here because someone else mandated it. You’re only here because someone else mandated it, but it stings all the same. Another reminder of what used to be, of what ended regardless of what you wanted. Another reminder that the role you used to play in his life is not the role you play now. That the space you used to take up created a vacancy, and eventually it was going to be filled.
And if this was anyone other than Seungcheol, if you were more emotionally evolved when it came to him, it wouldn’t gnaw at you as much. All of this would roll off your shoulders.
But it isn’t, and you’re not.
“If you’re not going to listen, then—”
“I am listening,” he interjects, but he’s not looking at you. Not looking at his textbook or his study guide. Keeps laughing and smiling at his phone, and it’s sick how bothered you are by it. That it feels like your stomach’s been turned inside-out with jealousy; with annoyance, because you don’t want to be here anyway, don’t want to do this anymore, and you’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.
Perhaps he never did.
“What are we discussing, then?”
Still not looking up: “Consumer theory.”
You laugh—more a huff of air than anything, grin sardonically out of one corner of your mouth. Seungcheol sees none of it. “Wrong,” you answer, already expecting the way he shrugs it off. “I’m gonna skip ahead a few chapters, though. Consider it a freebie for your business class.”
It must be your tone that finally grabs his attention. Cutting, precise, purposeful. Seungcheol lowers his phone, quirks an eyebrow, wonders where this is going to go. It’s clear he’s pissed you off, that you’re itching for a fight. It’s clear the years of silence are finally coming to a head.
“Let’s talk about ROI. You know what that is?” You barely give him a second. “Return on investment. A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or compare the efficiency of several investments. So, let’s say I make one-hundred-thousand won on a ten-thousand won investment: my ROI is 90%. Are you following?”
He nods.
“Great, now let’s try something a bit more hypothetical.” You suck in a breath. “Let’s say I invest years of my adolescence into someone. A friend at first and then something more. Let’s say I played cheerleader, supported every hope and dream he had—went to every game, cheered him on, helped him practice his English. Held his hand and talked him down when the pressure felt overwhelming, when the only thing that felt inevitable was failure. Now, let’s say all I got in return was a stuttered, awkward apology as he dumped me and walked out the door. Let’s say that guy showed up again after years of silence just to once again waste my fucking time.”
The thing about pain is it’s not linear. What hurt five, ten years ago might not hurt today, but it might tomorrow; what hurt yesterday may never hurt again. The thing about pain is it lets you stick your head in the sand until it can’t anymore, and that’s where you are now: that window of time between Seungcheol walking out the door on the assumption you’d never see him again before he bulldozed his way back into your life has been slammed closed, locked up tight.
So you don’t even notice you’re crying until the room goes deathly silent and you can hear the drip drip drip of tears on paper. Until you watch Seungcheol’s hands flex and unflex in mid-air, stuck in that liminal space, wanting to reach out but knowing he has no right to. Until your chest aches so bad you’re sure you’re either about to break into stardust or cease to exist.
Until you say, “What, Choi Seungcheol, would you say my fucking return on investment was?” and he has nothing to say at all.
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Kaori invites you to a party.
Just something small to celebrate the end of midterms and a classmate’s birthday. Nothing out of control or raucous, not even the kind of thing that’d earn a second glance from campus security. I won’t even make fun of you if you leave before eleven, is how she sold it to you, in addition to a small amount of begging and bargaining and a powerful set of puppy-dog eyes.
After everything the two of you have been through, you find it hard to say no.
So here you are, nearly eleven o’clock on a Friday, a cup of cheap beer in hand. A friend of a friend of a friend is wailing into a karaoke machine and although your ears are bleeding, it does feel nice for that to be your greatest worry. You aren’t thinking about your classes or how you’ve been prioritizing everyone else’s academic success. You aren’t thinking about whatever’s going on between Kaori and Ken. You aren’t thinking about Seungcheol.
At least you aren’t, until he walks through the door.
You’re going to continue not thinking about him at all—not about the fact he’s alone or how good he looks in a simple black T-shirt that’s a little taut in the shoulders. You’re not going to think about the way the air shifts, like the universe knows he’s important and is willing to accommodate. You’re not going to think about how Kaori catches your eye across the room, recognizes him from all her internet searches, and the way she mouths oh my god he’s so beefy at you.
You’re not going to think about how guilty you feel that she doesn’t know, because if you do you’re certain it’ll take over.
You watch Seungcheol work the room; watch as he floats between conversations, as strangers fall over themselves at the sight of him. How eager everyone is to give him something and how reluctant he is to take them. You watch as he winds up in the same circle as Kaori and how she must mention you, oh, your tutor is my roommate, because there’s a question in return before he turns and meets your gaze.
You wonder why the distance between you feels more insurmountable now than ever before.
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Seungcheol finds you in your office.
It’s not a Tuesday or a Thursday, far later than four to six in the evening, but he doesn’t even bother knocking before he’s barreling in, stifling your space with his bad energy.
You haven’t seen him in nearly two weeks. Not since the party, if that even counts. Hasn’t bothered to reply to any of your texts or emails, and that was just fine by you, if that’s how he wanted to act, but it isn’t until he’s brooding on the other side of your desk that you realize you’re still aggrieved, too. Feels a little too familiar, him leaving you behind and in the dark.
So you don’t mean to—typically have much more professionalism than this—but when he tosses a stapled stack of papers with a barely-passing grade on your desk and says, “This is your fault,” the words come automatically and without forethought.
“Fuck off, Seungcheol.” It’s not your words that take him by surprise; more so the roll of your eyes, the accompanying huff. The impression that all of this is beneath you and nothing more than a mere annoyance. That however affected you were two weeks ago is not how affected you are anymore. “That’s what happens when you blow off your tutoring for two weeks because you’re a coward.”
He laughs, incredulous; unable to help the sound the tumbles out of his mouth. “I’m a—I’m a coward?”
“Yes,” you reply, tone giving away nothing. All he sees is feigned nonchalance despite the hurricane you feel brewing beneath the surface. “This,” you continue, pinching the corner of the paper between your fingertips and disposing of it in the trashcan beneath your desk, “is all on you, but do please let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to blame me for. I’m all ears.”
You don’t miss it: the way Seungcheol’s eyes grow wide at your ‘I’m all.’ The way he thinks you’re going to punctuate that sentence with yours, and it nearly has bile rising in your throat. Makes you want to scream, rip at your hair. If the last few months have taught you anything, it’s that you are still hopelessly in love with the man across from you—the man that continues to leave before he’s left, always at your expense.
So, yeah—Seungcheol is a coward, but only when it comes to you.
But he doesn’t look much like one now, gripping so hard at the edge of your desk that his knuckles have gone white, baseball cap pulled down low enough his eyes are barely visible. He’s always been overwhelming, always carried himself with an exaggerated arrogance even when it wasn’t warranted, always took everything so seriously, and maybe that’s why you’d thought he’d treat you the same way. Take you seriously. Wouldn’t just throw it all away on a maybe thing, and that’s why it's been years and you still aren’t over it.
Maybe Seungcheol is a coward, and maybe so are you.
Because not once since he’s been back have you been able to say what you mean. Can’t seem to tell him about the anger, the hurt, the heartbreak. Played it all off as petty nonchalance because you foolishly thought that would hurt him, that you’ve been reduced to simmering ash, no hope left for a fire.
“I could never blame you for a goddamn thing,” he says, voice so deep you could drown in it.
You so desperately want to know. You don’t want to know anything at all. You want Seungcheol to explain everything to you in detail and spoil the ending, but only if it’s guaranteed to be happy. Enduring another loss like the first time—you’re not sure you can take it. Not after you two have crossed paths like this, because you’ve never quite believed in fate but you think that has to mean something. That so much time and life had transpired and you two came back together.
Today, though, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get any answers.
Seungcheol straightens, looms at full height. Digs into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a thumb drive. Wordlessly, he hands it over, and then he’s gone just as abruptly as he’d arrived.
Again.
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Kaori wants to spend the weekend moping, and you can’t come up with a good reason not to join her.
She doesn’t mention Ken once. Not when she’s sobbing over A Silent Voice and Toradora! after that. Not when she keeps glancing at her phone every couple minutes to see if she has any texts. Not when you—only halfway paying attention between grading and your own assignments—suggest ordering something for delivery, maybe that new burger place down the street you heard was good, and Kaori shuts it down so vehemently you can only assume it was Ken’s favorite place.
Kaori just cries over the man with the big dick she never expected to take so seriously, and not even your stonewalling makes her feel ashamed of it.
And there’s respectability in that kind of openness and vulnerability. At least whatever she’s feeling is honest; at least she can admit she’s sad. You think watching Kaori process her breakup might help you process yours too, years too late, so you suck in a breath and ask, “Can I tell you something or is now not a good time?”
Kaori looks over at you. Dabs a soggy tissue at her eyes. “Well, I guess it depends,” is her answer, and she doesn’t shy away from how waterlogged her voice sounds. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a Takasu and Kawashima shipper, maybe, but if it’s anything worse I’m not sure I could take it.”
“I—what? Who even are they?” She gives you a half-hearted thumbs up. You sigh in response, sink further into the couch. “It’s, uh.” Clear your throat. “Do you remember when we met sophomore year? At that party? And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything and you said, and I quote, why not, I have a sixth sense for this kind of thing and I know that guy will have a huge—”
She hides her face behind her hands. “Ew, god, yes I remember that. My dick whisperer era. How embarrassing.”
“Right. And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything because I’d just gotten out of something.”
“Not really by choice, if I remember correctly. I told you if it was quiet it should’ve been loud, and then you never talked about it again.”
You nod. “I—yeah, that sounds like something I would’ve said.” You suck in a deep breath. “Listen, this is probably gonna sound bad considering I did never talk about it again, but—”
“Hey,” Kaori says, nudging you with her foot. Meant to be comforting, somehow. “It’s okay. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, too… most of which I’m not sure you should, actually.”
A laugh forces its way out, gives you a nice reprieve from the anxiety of the conversation you’re about to have. The need to explain it all, the need for advice. Maybe it’s not her—or anyone else’s—business, but you think you’ve kept this to yourself long enough. You and Seungcheol loved each other, once, and it seems foolish that no one knows.
Maybe Kaori had been right. Maybe love should be shouted from the rooftops; exist out in the open. Maybe something hidden in the shadows can never thrive in the light, and you knew it back then, deep down, but now it seems so obvious.
You think back to a few days before the library. Think about how things didn’t feel good but they felt okay. Think about the frustrated crease between Seungcheol’s eyebrows as he stared down at his textbook and how all you’d wanted to do was smooth it. Think about how you’d rolled your lips and tried not to laugh; how you thought it’d take a miracle to help Seungcheol pass this class.
Think about: What is the difference between the short-run and the long-run from the perspective of production theory?
Think about the short-run of your and Seungcheol’s relationship—that you’d burned bright and fast, even though it’d felt like a million years. Hadn’t dared to consider the long-run because anything beyond that bubble felt impossible.
Think about: Which of the following is not a property of isoquants?
Think about the way Seungcheol’s eyes lit up when he knew the answer. That they’re always linear, he said, and you smiled at his enthusiasm, raised your hand to high-five him and dropped it when he hadn’t noticed.
You think about the explanation—isoquants can be linear when inputs are perfectly substitutable—and what those graphs look like. Downward sloping, left to right. Think about how the graphs change when the isoquants are perfect complements.
L-shaped. Less straight as the inputs become poorer substitutes.
You know what your and Seungcheol’s graph would’ve looked like back then.
So it’s easy, almost, to tell Kaori everything. You tell her about growing up in Daegu, about the smell of the azaleas at Biseulsan in the spring. You tell her about how your parents had befriended the neighbors, how they had a kid your age, that that kid was Seungcheol—yes, that Seungcheol.
She’s able to anticipate the rest from there, but you fill in the blanks of what she can’t: being sixteen and falling in love, holding hands, the clandestine notes. All those football matches and how your throat would be hoarse from cheering. How nauseous you’d felt applying to university in Seoul, how excited you were when Seungcheol said he was coming with you. That, after you arrived, it felt like you were living in fast-forward. Barely any time to breathe or adjust; no time to just be you and Seungcheol. You had to be a student, someone responsible; Seungcheol had to be a phenom.
“Could you feel it was going to happen?” Kaori asks, now sat ramrod straight, all her attention on you. “Like, did you know?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “Maybe I did? It’s hard to say now, all this time later. I know things definitely felt different, like life was pulling us in opposite directions.” You laugh, bitterness coloring the edges. “You couldn’t go two blocks without seeing him on some billboard, and I was just… normal, you know? I wasn’t some rising star athlete like he was, I just went to my classes. How was I supposed to compete with something like that?”
Your roommate hums, leans back into the pillows as she stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you were. Maybe that’s why Seungcheol was worried—maybe he felt like you were losing your own identity feeling like you had to keep up.”
You want to push back, argue that you weren’t, that you didn’t, but the truth is that it’s possible. That the shadows created by Seungcheol’s dreams were so massive you wouldn’t be surprised if they unintentionally swallowed you up. “It still wasn’t his choice to make,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.
And Kaori already knows all about your hurt, listened as you explained it all and laid everything bare. So when she says, “Sometimes that’s just how it goes, though, babe,” it doesn’t feel condescending. “We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. You can say now it wasn’t Seungcheol’s choice to make, because it’s been almost five years and you’ve made a life for yourself separate from him. But the—god, this is gonna sound so patronizing, I am so sorry—but you guys were so young. No one has it all figured out at that age.”
She snorts, runs a hand through her messy hair. “Shit, I’m nearly halfway to thirty and I still don’t know anything.” Adopts a frown. “What do you want now? Do you want closure? Want to try to fix things and become friends?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, biting at a hangnail. “He actually, um. The other day when he stopped by my office, he left me a USB drive? And before you ask, no I did not already look at it.”
“A USB drive? Who does this guy think he is, James Bond?” A pause. “Are you gonna look at it, though?”
You do.
Not until the silver, midnight light creeps in through your bedroom curtains and you’ve stared at the ceiling long enough; waited long enough for texts that never came, for divine intervention to, well, intervene. It never did—fair enough—so you decide to take fate by the reins. Grab your laptop, instant headache from the screen, stick the drive into the port.
It takes a second for it to load, but when it does: dozens of videos, organized by date. Vlogs, by the look of them—some from before your breakup but the majority of them from after.
You’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this.
You click on the first one: a month and a half before both of you moved to Seoul. A fresh-faced Seungcheol appears on your screen, cheeks still round with adolescence. He’s in his room back in Daegu, can’t get the camera angle right. Nostalgia hits you like a ton of bricks as it pans to the side, to the wall behind his bed, and you see all his old posters. Mostly football players you couldn’t name, some girl group he used to love, a few movies. Just below them are some of the notes you’d written him in school, and they’re all you can focus on as he talks about how excited he is for the move.
The next: a few weeks after you’d started classes. By then, Seungcheol was well into the swing of things with Seoul FC. Already a big fish in a small pond, tryout offers from European teams starting to roll in. You can hear yourself in the background stressing over your first exam, wishing a generational curse upon your calculus professor. In the video, Seungcheol laughs, whispers like he’s telling the camera a secret as he talks about how nervous he is for his future. I don’t know why, he says, but it just feels like everything is about to change.
There’s a long pause between that one and the next. You understand why when you look at the date: three months after your breakup. Your hands hover uselessly above your keyboard. Whatever answers you’ve been looking for the last few years are probably in this video, but you can’t bring yourself to open it. Not right away, at least.
You click on a different one at random. Seungcheol’s somewhere in Europe, judging from the language on the signs behind him. Snow falls quietly—whenever he filmed this, it must’ve been early. No one else is around, and he cracks a joke that it’s a good thing, people would probably think he was crazy if they saw him. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going but he narrates the entire walk: points out a cafe he’s grown to love. The way to get to his practice stadium from where he’s standing. Pauses near a restaurant and laughs ruefully, shakes his head, says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but one of my teammates set me up on a blind date here and I got stood up. You’d probably think that was funny.
(You do. It also makes your chest ache.)
One from two years ago: Seungcheol in a hotel room, clearly nervous. He raises his hand to wave at the camera and you can see the corners of his nails bitten raw. Dark circles beneath his eyes; cheekbones more pronounced than you’ve ever seen them. On the screen, Seungcheol sighs, rakes a hand through freshly-bleached hair. Sucks in a deep breath as he says, I’m so nervous. I’m so—so fucking nervous and I don’t. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I want to call you because you always knew what to say but that’s so fucking selfish. God, we haven’t spoken in years, and it’s my—that’s my fault, I know, so I brought this all on myself. I just want to hear your voice.
Another from a week after that: the color’s returned to his face, and he’s recording from what looks like a penthouse apartment. Sleek, modern; a small white dog napping on the bed beside him. He smiles, looks like he got his teeth fixed, looks like he’s no longer carrying around the weight of the world. Talks endlessly and excitedly about some tournament. Talks so fast you can barely keep up. Talks around words tinged with languages you don’t understand.
Seungcheol wins a championship. Records a drunk vlog from the same night, hair soaked through with god-knows-what—water, champagne, you don’t know. But he looks radiant. Looks like the culmination of two decades of dreaming. He looks happy, free, at peace. He looks like the reason he let you go, why he had to go away.
You scroll to the bottom of the files. Pause at the last video, dated seven months before the term started.
“Hi,” he says, and you can immediately tell everything is all wrong. Seungcheol’s in the dark, face only visible enough to see the tears tracking on his cheeks. “This is going to be the last one of these I make. I don’t know if you, uh—I’m sure you aren’t paying attention to me—my career—anymore, but. I, um. I got hurt. Ruptured my ACL. They’re not sure I’ll…” A sob escapes him. Has you wanting to climb through the screen to hold him, thumb away his tears, tell him everything is going to be okay. “They don’t know if I’ll ever play again.”
Seungcheol no longer looks happy, free, at peace. “Maybe you’ll be happy to hear that,” he continues. “Maybe it’ll help you to know I threw away our relationship for nothing.”
Cut to black.
The sudden silence is deafening. Has you desperately clicking back to the video you’d skipped, the one from just after your breakup. Seungcheol looks the same in that one, too, like the life has been drained out of him.
I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I’ll ever show these to you now, since I…
I’m sure I owe you an explanation. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just—things have been so hard, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I feel like my life went from zero to a hundred before I could even blink and now I’m scrambling. I didn’t think it was fair to—to drag you through that. Me being away, moving to an entirely different continent. I have faith we could do it, I just. I don’t know, baby, I don’t…
You deserve to have your own life. Be your own person. I’m so scared that the world will never see you for who you are—so beautiful and intelligent and kind. You don’t deserve to be reduced to my partner. And if you ever see this, I know you’re gonna roll your eyes. Probably call me a mean name because I took the choice away from you, because you think I’m trying to be selfless and heroic, and you’d be right. It’s not fair, and I wish I could tell you I’m sorry.
I wish I could just… pluck out my brain and give it to you, because even if it killed me to do it, at least it makes sense to me. And I don’t—I don’t want you to think I’m not hurting. I’ve been sick to my stomach since I left. I know I’m making a mistake, I know I am, I just—how do I do what I think is right in the long-run when it’s not what I want right now, or ever?
I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want you to get over me, and that’s how you know I’m not acting selflessly, because you should. I want you to always be happy, I just… wish it was with me.
So, I’m going to keep making these. I’m going to take you along for the ride, wherever it takes us, because you should be here but I can only hope you can one day understand why you’re not. I’m so—I’m so sorry, I don’t…
I’m sorry.
I love you.
You fall asleep and dream that you were the one meant to meet him at that restaurant.
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The first thing you do is make a call to your mother.
“Could you send another container of yakgwa?”
On the other end of the line, your mother tuts, motherly intuition audibly kicking into overdrive. Is probably wearing that all-knowing, sly grin she always does when you try to be coy and evasive. “What happened to the last container I sent?”
“Ah, you know Kaori loves those. They barely lasted an hour after I told her what was in there.”
She hums an acknowledgement. Sounds like she takes a sip of tea. “I remember someone else being quite fond of those cookies, too.”
“Well, they are the most popular cookies in the country, so.”
After haranguing you into admitting they’re for Seungcheol and not your roommate, your mother promises to send them quickly. A few days at most, which buys you enough time to figure out how you’re going to approach the man in question.
The vlogs have turned your entire world upside-down. Answered questions you hadn’t even known you had. Took all that anger and resentment you’d been holding onto and set it free, and now you’re just left with… a void. Want to mend things, and it makes you wonder if such a thing is even possible, if it’s too late, but you don’t let those thoughts get very far.
Instead, you let them spur you into action. Have you sitting in front of your laptop at your desk, office hours long since over, silence creeping in the more the department empties. The thrum of the airconditioning and the tick-tick-tick of the clock are all the only company you have.
You worry if it’ll show on camera, how out of sorts you feel: sweating from the nerves, dabbing at your hairline; cheeks warm to the touch. But you suck in a breath anyway, steel yourself. Look at your webcam and the daunting red circle…
And start recording.
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He hadn’t gotten it at first. Not really.
There’d been a container of yakgwa outside his door with his USB drive taped to the top of it. No note—not that he needed one to know who it was from, but he wasn’t sure what it was. A goodbye? A please fuck off forever and never contact me again?
He’d just taken them inside. Ate too many of the cookies while feeling sorry for himself. Maybe had a glass or two of wine to compound the issue, and never, ever considered contacting you. Didn’t think he could bear it if you never wanted to see him again, but he just…
Well, he was drunk and alone and he missed you, and he’d rewatched all those videos he recorded a million times before when he was like this, so what was a million and one?
It’d been the same as every time before: he smiled at the happy parts, cried at all his old wounds. Wanted to reach through the screen and strangle his past self for including that part about the blind date, because he never wanted to date anyone who wasn’t you, why would he say that, felt mortified at the thought of you watching that—
And then there it was.
All the way at the bottom. A new video. One that hadn’t been recorded by him—
Hi, Cheol, you say, and that’s all it takes to reduce him to a sobbing, yearning mess. I’m not sure what to say here. I don’t really record much—sometimes for lectures when the professors are too busy, but never anything personal like this, but I watched every single one you made for me and I thought I should return the favor.
I wanted to tell you everything I’ve been up to since you left, but it hasn’t been much. I got my degree. Tutored a lot in undergrad—the same thing I’m tutoring you in now, actually. I was good at it and it felt good to have something that was mine, you know? I almost moved for grad school. Thought for a while I was going to wind up in New York, but then my parents divorced and it felt like too much, too scary, so I stayed. Kaori also stayed, so we got an apartment together. It’s not much, definitely not as nice as your place, but it’s good enough.
I don’t think I ever told you, but she was seeing a guy for a bit and he was… obsessed with you, to say the least. Thought you were the coolest person in the world. They aren’t seeing each other anymore. Ended pretty badly, but—speaking of which, maybe steer clear of Student Services for a while, too.
Sometimes it felt like failure that I wound up staying here. That I had scholarships from all these far-away, prestigious places and didn’t take advantage of them. That I gave into my fear. And now… I don’t know. Maybe there’s a reason I stayed behind. Maybe there’s a reason you ended up back here, too.
Whatever happens—I don’t want you to think I still blame you. Kaori says we do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time, and I understand now that’s what you did. Even though it hurt me, you were trying to protect me. I get it now. And I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to go to all these places you didn’t know. To have to deal with your injury, the loss of a dream.
You said in one of your videos that you just want me to be happy, and that’s all I want for you, too, whatever that looks like.
Here’s my address if you ever want to come by to talk.
I love you, too.
—and then he’d been up and out the door, feeling stone cold sober, running to the front of his building to wait for his ride.
Felt like the drive took hours. Must’ve hit every red light between his apartment and yours. Took the steps two at a time just to get to your door faster.
There’s a man already standing outside your door when he gets there. One that looks shocked to see him, stars in his eyes, and when Seungcheol says, “Oh, you must be Kaori’s ex,” he looks more like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. Embarrassed in front of his idol.
He knocks on your door and gets no response. Knocks again, harder this time, and he has to try really hard to stifle his laughter when your voice yells from the inside, “Fuck off, Kenji, I already told you she’s not here!”
“It’s me,” Seungcheol yells back.
There’s quiet again. Just enough time for it to feel like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest and follow Kaori’s ex down the hall.
Then you’re yanking the door open—slowly, so slowly, like you’re scared it’s not actually him. Your eyes are brimming with tears when they meet his own, and he doesn’t let himself think, just goes on instinct, when he grabs for you, hands on your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours.
Somehow you taste the same.
Somehow you taste like redemption.
You taste like home.
Seungcheol kisses you until the tears slow. Kisses you until the universe realigns, until he could map your mouth in the dark. Kisses you until all you’re all he knows again.
When he pulls away, you’re gripping at his sweatshirt, don’t want to let him go. He presses his forehead to yours, offers up a million more apologies, starts talking nonsense. Says he’s going to drop microeconomics, what the hell does he know, he barely has a passing grade anyway, what does it matter, he’s such an idiot—
And then you say, “You came back,” and nothing else matters.
“I always will.”
(Later on, as you’re trying to steady your breathing, slick with sweat, your thigh thrown over Seungcheol’s hip as he stares down at you, dopey smile on his face, you say, “Choi Seungcheol, don’t you dare drop that class. I have worked my ass off to get you to barely-passing.”)
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if you’ve made it this far thank you so much for reading! i am still very new at writing for seventeen, so i hope this was acceptable. i'm now going to throw myself into the warped tour vernon fic and will hopefully not go another 7+ months without posting anything. 😭
i would love to hear your thoughts! <3
3K notes · View notes
kookooluvr · 5 months ago
Text
Teach Me How To Love - Part 1
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pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers
genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.
summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.
rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !
word count: 3.5k
warnings: fwb should be warning in itself, jungkook is a simp and a hot nerdy professor (yummm), oc has a tabby cat named miso, bam makes his first appearance, jungkook has a big ol' crush on oc, some unrequited romantic feelings (?) we're not sure yet, explicit sexual content; making out, kook has heart eyes for oc's boobs, five second strip show, like a split second of male masturbation, oral sex (male receiving), a teeny wheeny bit of fingering, oc rides that thang like a cowgirl, unprotected sex (oc is on birth control and they're both clean), plus some angsty vibes at the end :(((
author's note: part 1 is out my dudes !!! 😭😭 i hope you enjoy this little introduction to jungkook and oc, and i can't wait to start exploring their dynamic a little more in depth in the next parts!! i'm so excited to go on this journey with you all, so pls make sure to follow, reblog, and send me an ask if you want to chat about these cuties 🤪 part 2 coming soon !
find tmhtl masterlist here
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It's the end of the day and Jungkook is on his way out, heading home after an exhausting day at the university. He walks down the corridor, his phone in hand, his eyes trained to his phone as he checks his emails.
You step out of your office, shutting the door and straightening your bag on your shoulder. You dig through it for your office keys, locking up once you find them. He looks up from his phone for a second and spots you, a smile tugging at his lips as he pockets his phone and walks over to you.
He leans against the wall next to your door, arms crossed, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “Hey,” he murmurs with a little grin.
“Hey, Kook,” you greet softly, walking away to head home, Jungkook peeling himself off the wall to walk next to you.
“Long day?” he asks with a sympathetic smile.
You love your job, really, you do. But some days are draining and dealing with young adults who don't even know how to reference their sources for an essay or spell parliament properly can actually drive you to drink. “Mm, thank God the day's over,” you chuckle, looking over at him as you walk down the stone walkway together, the sun slowly starting to set on campus.
He chuckles, looking over at you to catch the way the golden hour light casts a pretty yellowish-orange glow over your skin, his eyes quickly diverting down to the ground to stop himself from staring, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “Hey, uhm...if you don't have any plans tonight, do you maybe wanna come over to my place?” he asks, feeling like an awkward teenager with a crush every time he asks you that, even if he's done it ten dozen times by now. He knows why he's inviting you over. You know why he's inviting you over.
“Yeah, sure,” you say casually, heading in the direction of the parking lot to get to your car. You see it in its usual parking spot, right next to his, just like it is every day, like a silent declaration that you're a package deal.
His heart really shouldn't do that weird thump-thump thing that it does every time you agree to come over, but it does, and it might just be heart disease, but he is yet to get it under control. “Cool...cool...Is 7 okay for you?” he asks, taking out his keys as he approaches his car, leaning against the driver's door with a little smile on his lips.
“Yeah, I'll just go home and change out of these clothes and feed Miso then I'll head over,” you murmur absentmindedly while you dig through your bag for your car keys, searching through the endless pit of earphones, a tangled phone charger, lip liner, lip gloss, and ten thousand receipts for things you don't even remember buying. He watches you with a faint smile, knowing how messy that bag is, but also knowing that if he lectures you about it, your response will be, 'you don't get it, you're not a woman' so he minds his business and stands by patiently.
“You can go, I'll manage,” you mumble, your eyebrows furrowed, a soft pout on your lips as you rummage through the leather bag. He chuckles and cocks his head to the side, finding it quite amusing. “You sure? I feel like I could find the cure for cancer before you find your keys in that thing.”
“You should quit teaching and go into comedy,” you mutter dryly, finally finding the damn keys. “Ha. Found it,” you quip, smiling sarcastically before unlocking the car. He shakes his head with a soft smile, rolling his eyes as he gets in his own car. He'll get you back for your sass, but he knows that his 'punishments’ feel more like a reward than anything else.
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You go home and feed Miso, the grey tabby lounging around like she's the queen of your apartment, completely unbothered that you're only staying for a little while before eventually leaving again to get dicked down hang out with Jungkook. You put on some comfortable sweats and give her a few kisses and cuddles before heading over to Jungkook's place.
This is a regular thing for you guys. You remain professional at work, well, as professional as two people who are hooking up can be, and then you go over to his place, or vice versa, and sometimes there's wine, sometimes there's dinner, sometimes you go straight to the sexy part, or sometimes there's no sexy part at all because one of you just wants to talk or watch a movie. It works for you. It's easy. It feels good. Really good.
He's a good friend. He's kind, he's a good listener, and he's all those nice, sweet, lovely things. He's also really good in bed, which is always a bonus in a...friend.
Good friends offer to drive you home from the club when you've had one too many to drink. Good friends support you in times of need. Good friends go down on you until your legs shake. That's just how it is.
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"Slow down, you're gonna choke," he chuckles, watching you stuff your face with Indian takeout. It's like a competitive sport when the two of you eat dinner, which is one of the things you like most about hanging out with Jungkook. There is no pressure to be perfect. You can act the way you really want to and not feel scrutinized for it. Maybe it's just because his big fat crush has completely tinted the way he sees you, but he'd happily watch you pig out if it means he gets to spend time alone with you.
“I thought you like it when I choke a little bit,” you tease, just wanting to get a reaction out of him, and that's exactly what you get. He nearly chokes on his food, his cheeks flushed, his eyes wide as he looks over at you.
“Jesus Christ, ___, you can't just say stuff like that,” he coughs, trying to compose himself, roughly clearing his throat to not die via chicken biryani. It’s quite a strange thing how he can go from this to a sex god in bed, not that it's anything for you to complain about.
Jungkook does the dishes after dinner which allows you to enjoy some alone time with Bam. The brown doberman plops down on the couch, practically begging to be cuddled. He’s always been quite fond of you, since Jungkook adopted him three years ago. He’s the sweetest boy. He loves being loved on, much like his father.
Jungkook watches as you give Bam “lovies” as you call it, the dog absolutely basking in the attention.
“I’m starting to think he likes you more than me,” Jungkook jokes with a scoff, smiling as Bam does his ‘sit/lay down’ tricks for you. What a showoff.
“He’s never gotten that comfortable with anyone who isn't me,” he murmurs with a soft smile, watching the two excited puppies in his living room. “He gets really excited when he knows you're coming over.”
“Bam, cut it out. I’m Miso’s mommy, she’s going to get jealous,” you playfully scold him, although the scratches you give him say otherwise. He’s just a doe-eyed, dark-haired, soft-hearted boy. Again, much like his father.
Jungkook finishes drying the dishes and practically shoves Bam out the way to get the same attention from you. He lays down on the couch with his head in your lap and you already know what he wants. You lightly scratch his scalp, watching his eyes flutter shut, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, relishing in the feeling of your fingers in his hair. Sex is great, but there's something about moments like this that just makes him want to get down on his knees and give you whatever you want, whenever you want it.
“I think Bam-ie’s upset,” you chuckle, looking over at him with a soft, apologetic smile, his father looking anything but sorry. He chuckles as he watches Bam quietly stroll back to the bedroom, his eyes fluttering shut once more when you do that thing with your nails that sends shivers down his spine.
“He’ll live,” he scoffs, wincing when you give his hair a firm tug, his lips puffing up into a pout.
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You don't really remember how exactly you ended up on his lap with your hands in his hair and his lips peppering your jaw and neck with gentle, tender kisses, but you know that it feels good.
“We’ve been so busy lately, we’ve barely gotten a chance to do this,” he murmurs against your skin, his hands trailing up your thighs to rest at your hips.
You scoff, your eyes fluttering shut as he sucks on that sweet spot behind your ear. It's true. You’ve both been so busy with work that you haven't hung out or had sex in two weeks.
“I know. I’ve been relying on my vibrator.”
He feels a shrill of heat run through him at the thought of you pleasuring yourself, as if he hasn't already seen the actual thing live in-person.
“Yeah? Is he better than me?” he teases with a little grin, pressing soft kisses to your pulse point.
“First of all; she, and I mean…she gets the job done,” you tease, not wanting to outright admit that nothing and no one can make you cum the way he does.
“You couldn't have just said no?” he chuckles, leaning his head back to rest against the back of the couch, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looks up at you. “Maybe I should get myself a toy too…y’know, for when you're too busy,” he teases with a lazy grin.
“What, like a pocket pussy?” you laugh.
“Mm. Something like that.”
“I’d prefer you to be inside me instead of a fake vagina,” you quip, leaning in to press a feather-like kiss to his lips, just testing the waters a bit. “Are you gonna think of me when you use it?” you tease, batting your lashes the way you know makes him go a little weak.
He swallows thickly, nodding like he’s hypnotised. “Of course I’d think of you,” he murmurs, his hips bucking up in a sad attempt to get you to give him some friction. “It wouldn't compare to you though. Nothing compares to you.” His voice is soft and airy, sounding almost pathetic.
You feel a little smile tug at your lips, your resolve slowly slipping. He’s so open about his thoughts and feelings. He’s not afraid to be vulnerable and lay it all out there, even if it is just sex.
His heart does that stupid thump-thump thing again at the sight of your smile, but now really isn't the time to psychoanalyse that, so he pushes that thought away for later.
“Can you take this off for me?” He slips his fingers underneath the soft fabric of your sweatshirt, getting a bit antsy to see more of you.
He’s never really given it too much thought whether he’s an ass or tits typa guy, but when you pull your sweatshirt over your head and his eyes land on that black bra with the little pink bows, the one that you know he likes so much, he swears he’s never seen anything prettier.
“God, I love these.” He leans his head forward to press soft little kisses to the tops of your breasts, his hands trailing up the sides of your ribs. “My pretty girls.”
Your eyes fall shut, the butterflies starting to flutter in the pit of your stomach. Sex with him is so soft and sweet. He says nice things and he makes you feel good, both physically and emotionally, and that makes your anxiety spike just a tad, so you deflect.
“Do you always make conversation with a woman’s tits before you stick it in her or…?”
He chuckles, and it's deep and warm, a little comforting, like if hot cocoa had a voice.
“Take this off. Wanna see them,” he murmurs softly, lightly tugging at the strap of your bra to let it snap back against your skin.
You roll your eyes, but the faint smile on your lips tells him that you're more than happy to oblige. You reach back to unclasp it, letting the material fall from your body, his eyes growing a shade darker at your exposed skin.
He swirls his tongue around a nipple and sucks before repeating the same thing on the other side, giving both breasts the attention they deserve. His eyes flutter shut like he wants to savour every little moment with you.
You reluctantly get up off his lap, and before he can protest, you're discarding the rest of your clothing, sliding your sweatpants down your legs. He makes quick work of following your lead by removing his shirt and pants, his boxers following quickly behind.
You make a little show of removing your panties, and you would normally be embarrassed by the amount of moisture that has already accumulated inside the flimsy material, but right now, all you can focus on is his hand giving his cock a few lazy strokes while he watches you undress for him.
“C’mere.” He spreads his legs a bit, his cock already almost fully hard, the tip slowly turning a light shade of pink. You'd never thought of a cock as 'pretty' before, but damn, it's pretty.
You do as he says without a single protest or complaint, your pussy practically throbbing at the sight of him. Oh, how wonderful it is to be his friend.
You get down on your knees in front of him, his eyelids hanging low as he looks down at you, his hand pumping his cock.
You pride yourself in being good at oral sex, but it's never been something you particularly love doing. That is, until you started hooking up with Jungkook. Sometimes he’ll just be doing something as simple as watching a show on tv, and you’ll be on your knees with your hair up and his cock hitting the back of your throat. It's everything, from the sounds he makes, to the way his eyebrows furrow and his lips part in ecstasy, that makes it so enjoyable.
You take over for him, giving his cock a few strokes before swirling your tongue around the head, pulling a deep groan from the back of his throat. You start sucking, working your way down his length, occasionally looking up to see that look on his face that makes your pussy clench. He rests his hand at the back of your head, not applying pressure, just wanting to feel more of you as you bob your head up and down a few times.
You give the tip some attention, then go all the way down to the base so that your nose just lightly brushes against his pelvis, then back up again, keeping a nice rhythm. His groans, paired with the way his stomach tenses every time you take him down to the base, is almost enough to make you cum right then and there.
“Fuck…baby, stop, please. Don't wanna cum too early,” he murmurs hoarsely, reaching for you to get up and straddle his lap. Your hips slide back and forth, your slick coating him, his dick glistening under the low light of the living room lamp.
“Already? Jesus, Jungkook, have some self-respect.” You can't help but tease him a bit, even in a moment like this, where you're in no position to be making fun of his desperation when you’re as wet as you are.
He scoffs, his hand disappearing between your legs, his middle and ring finger rubbing slow circles over your clit before sliding back to sink into your sopping entrance, shutting you right up.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” he teases with a lazy little grin, his fingers slowly pumping in and out, your wetness allowing him to move them without any resistance.
“Don't speak about my daughter at a time like this.”
His laughter gets cut off by your lips crashing into his, his fingers slipping out of you as you lift your hips to align the tip of his cock with your entrance.
“Want me to sit on it?”
“Yeah.” His voice is breathless as the anticipation slowly builds in his gut. No matter how many times you have sex, he’ll never get tired of that rush of adrenaline that flows through him in that moment right before he slides in.
“Ask nicely.”
“___, come on,” he laughs half-heartedly, tilting his head back against the couch, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips.
“Ask me nicely and I’ll sit down, Kook,” you whisper, leaning in so that your lips just barely graze against his.
“Please…please, baby. Ride me, please.”
The groan he lets out as you slowly sink down on his cock is enough to send shivers down your spine. It's thick and long, but it's not too big for it to hurt. It fits perfectly, nice and snug like a glove.
“Fuck, you feel good,” he mutters hoarsely, his hands gripping you harder as you begin to roll your hips in that fluid motion that makes him go a little crazy.
It feels like an honour that he gets to see you like this, naked on top of him, riding him deep and slow on his couch after a long day at work. He doesn't know what he ever did in his lifetime to deserve to be balls deep inside you on a Friday night, but he knows that he’s a lucky bastard.
“Just like that. Fuck, you're so tight,” he groans, looking down to watch the way your pussy sucks him in, like something out of a wet dream.
You set a nice pace, riding him just the way he likes it. You reach down to rub circles over your clit, your walls clenching around his cock, pulling soft moans and whimpers from his lips.
“Keep going,” he mutters, his voice trembling. “Fuck, you're gonna make me cum, baby…”
You ride a bit faster, applying more pressure to your clit as you chase your own high. He fights to keep his eyes open, desperately needing to watch you as the pleasure takes over.
“Fuck, Jungkook!” The pleasure creeps up on you and you cum with a breathless moan, your walls fluttering around his length, throbbing and pulsating.
“Gonna…holy shit…gonna cum, baby, don't stop…”
You use the last of your energy to bring him to his peak, moving your hips until his cock twitches and his muscles tense beneath you. He cums with a guttural groan, his fingers digging into your flesh so hard that it might bruise tomorrow.
You continue to grind down on him to help him ride it out. You gently run your fingers through his damp hair, his skin slightly dewy, his eyes squeezed shut. He trembles as the aftershocks flow through him, his breathing coming out a bit uneven.
He wraps his arms around you, holding you close to his chest, looking like he just died and came back to life. He lifts his head to press a soft kiss to your lips, but you pull away before he can deepen it.
“Come on, let go. I gotta go clean up.”
You very rarely allow him to cuddle you after sex. It feels too intimate, too romantic. You don't allow yourself to be romantic with Jungkook. He's not your boyfriend and you like it that way.
He lets out a small hum of disagreement as you lift yourself up, his hands moving to hold your waist.
"Stay here for a little longer," he mumbles softly, his voice drowsy. He looks at you with big doe eyes, trying to persuade you to stay. “Just a few more minutes.”
“You're starting to soften inside me and I have to shower, Kook. You know I hate feeling sticky.”
He reluctantly lets you go, groaning softly as you get up off his lap. "Fine, fine," he grumbles, his eyes following you as you walk over to the bathroom.
You walk off to his bathroom and close the door, locking it behind you. Locking the door is something so simple but it means so much. It means, 'You're not my boyfriend so we can't share that level of intimacy. You can fuck my brains out, but you can't wash my hair in the shower or sit on the toilet while I do my skincare'. It's too coupley.
Jungkook slowly puts his boxers back on, staring at the bathroom door. He knows he’s not your boyfriend. He knows he probably never will be. He knows all your boundaries and your rules and your reasons for having them, but that doesn't make it sting any less. He can't help but wonder what it would feel like if you actually allowed him to love you, but he knows he’s just being foolish and hopeful. He knows that by physically locking that door, you're locking him out of ever getting closer to you emotionally.
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Part 2 >
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itneverendshere · 6 months ago
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you said i have to trust more freely - r.c series (six)
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pairing: rafe x pogue!reader; word count: 5.5k requested here; (one); (two); (three); (four); (five)
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Being with Rafe was surprisingly easy, like slipping into a routine you didn’t know you’d been craving. It wasn’t over-the-top or dramatic; it was just normal—in the way that holding hands and sharing glances in crowded classrooms felt like the most natural thing in the world.
The guy who used to get under your skin, drive you absolutely crazy, and somehow, now, was making you melt with just one look? You didn’t know when your life turned into a rom-com, but you were pretty sure Rafe missed the part where he was supposed to stop being so intense the second the credits rolled. 
But, no. He was always like this now. Kisses in between classes, pulling you into him like he’d forget how to breathe if you stepped too far away. And you were starting to crave it. The constant closeness, the feel of his hands on you.
Today, it was more of the same—Rafe slipping into the seat next to you during a boring afternoon lecture, sliding his arm around you like it was his assigned spot. Like he belonged there. You had barely settled in before he was leaning in close, his mouth brushing your temple in a casual, absentminded kiss.
“Didn’t you just see me twenty minutes ago?” you teased, glancing up at him.
“Yeah, and?” He didn’t bother to look up at the professor as he trailed his fingers down your arm, sending goosebumps in their wake.
“And,” you whispered, fighting to keep your smile in check, “maybe we should try to pay attention?”
He glanced down at you, that half-smirk playing on his lips. “You really wanna listen to this guy talk about the English 18th-century economic policies, or do you wanna tell me what you’re doing after class?”
“Rafe—”
“—Because I’m thinking we grab coffee and maybe—”
“Shhh!” you hissed, your cheeks heating when you realized a few people in front of you were turning around to look. You shot him a pointed look, mouthing, You’re going to get us kicked out.
He just grinned wider, completely unbothered, and leaned back in his seat, looking more amused than ever. “Fine, fine,” he whispered. “But only ‘cause you’re cute when you’re pretending to be all serious.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, settling back against him instead. It should have felt weird, being so openly affectionate like this, but somehow, it didn’t. You knew people were watching, whispering even—Is that really Rafe with her? Didn’t they used to, like, hate each other?—but he made it all feel so… normal. 
He still made it impossible to focus, not dropping his touch from your skin.
“Are you even listening?”
“Not even a little.”
You rolled your eyes, fighting the grin threatening to break free. “You’re going to fail if you keep staring at me.”
He leaned closer, “Worth it. Plus I got a hot tutor to help me out.”
There it was again—that fluttery feeling in your stomach, the one that always seemed to come alive whenever he looked at you like that. You shifted in your seat, your leg brushing against his, and he tightened his grip on you, almost as if he knew what he was doing to you.
“Pay attention, Cameron.”
“Make me,” he shot back, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“Rafe,” you looked around to make sure no one was watching. But of course, a few heads were already turned in your direction. People had started noticing the two of you—how he was always leaning closer, how his arm would always be slung around your shoulders whenever you sat together.
Just as you were about to elbow him the professor started handing back quizzes—the ones you both knew were worth 50% of your eventual final grade.
You were nervous, but not just for yourself. You knew how much these grades meant to Rafe. He wasn’t one to show it, but you could tell. He used to barely scrape by with D’s before you two started your deal. You’d spent so many nights going over chapters together, sometimes until the early hours of the morning, and you were hoping it all paid off. The professor reached your row, placing the papers face down on the desk in front of you and Rafe. You glanced at yours first—an A, not bad. But when you turned your head to peek at his, you froze.
B.
Rafe had gotten a B.
You almost let out an excited squeal right there in the middle of the lecture hall but stopped yourself just in time. You turned to him, eyes wide, a huge grin spreading across your face. “Rafe, look!”
He was already smirking, casually flipping his paper back over, but you could tell he was trying to hide how pleased he was. “Yeah, I saw,” he said, all laid-back like it was no big deal. But the spark in his eyes said otherwise.
“B!” you tried to keep your voice as low as possible, but you couldn’t help it. “You’ve never gotten a B in this class!”
Last quiz he’d gotten a C, which was better... but a B in the last three quizzes? That was something.
“Thanks for the reminder,” he teased, nudging you with his shoulder, “Told you I’d get it together.”
“I told you you’d get it together,” you corrected.
He rolled his eyes, but you could see he was proud of himself. “And I told you I got a pretty good tutor, huh?”
You nudged him playfully. “Pretty good? You mean the best.”
You felt your heart swell at the look on his face. It wasn’t just about the grade—it was about the effort, the late-night study sessions, and the fact that he did care, even if he pretended not to. 
But his touching was even worse between classes.
The second the lecture ended, he was on his feet, gathering his stuff with that effortless, laid-back confidence that made it seem like he wasn’t in a rush, even though you knew he couldn’t wait to get out of there.
“Ready?” He didn’t bother waiting for you to answer, just slipped his hand into yours and pulled you gently toward the door.
Out in the hallway, he barely gave you a second to find your footing before pulling you in close, his hand lifting to cradle your face as he pressed a kiss to your lips. Your pulse jumped, and you felt the familiar rush of heat rise to your cheeks, even though you should be used to it by now.
“Rafe,” you mumbled, feeling a little sheepish when he finally pulled back.
“What?” He gave you an innocent look that didn’t match the way his eyes were sparkling. “Can’t a guy kiss his soon-to-be- girlfriend after suffering through a lecture?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to look stern but failing miserably. “You know half the hallway is staring, right?”
“Let them.” He shrugged nonchalantly, lacing his fingers with yours like it was no big deal. Like being with you like this—in front of everyone—wasn’t the huge deal it still felt like to you. 
The moment you paused by your locker, his hands were on your waist, spinning you to face him.
“Finally,” he murmured, dipping his head down to catch your lips in a kiss that was too much tongue and entirely too distracting for a busy hallway.
“Cameron,” you mumbled against his mouth, your fingers curling around his biceps. “We’re gonna be late.”
He hummed, lips not leaving yours. “Worth it,” he muttered, his hands sliding up your back, pressing you closer. “Always worth it.”
Your heart did a little flip, but you pulled back just enough to give him a look. “You said that in class, too.”
He grinned, looking completely unrepentant. “Yeah, and I meant it then, too.”
Your cheeks heated, and you shot him a half-hearted glare, hoping it covered up the way your purse sped up at the way he was looking at you.
The days blended together like that—Rafe’s hand on you somewhere always—whether it was his arm slung around your waist as you walked to class, his thumb brushing little circles on your knee when you were sitting across from each other in the library, or just… holding your hand, like he needed to feel your skin against his.
You were starting to forget what it felt like to not have him touching you. And maybe that should have scared you a little, but it didn’t. It was nice, easy. The way he’d press a kiss to your forehead before slipping into his own class, whisper something low and teasing when he caught you blushing, smirking at the way you tried to hide your smile.
After a long afternoon of half-hearted studying—thanks to Rafe’s wandering hands and that stupidly distracting grin—you found yourself back in your dorm room, tucked against him on your tiny bed, with a movie you weren’t even pretending to watch playing softly in the background.
It was cozy, almost too cozy. You’d ditched your jeans for a pair of shorts and borrowed one of his hoodies that still smelled faintly like him, and Rafe was propped up against the headboard, his legs tangled with yours. The smell of popcorn lingered in the air, but the bowl had been abandoned on your desk, long forgotten as you focused on something infinitely better.
Him.
You were still breathless from the last round of his kisses—his lips trailing down your neck, his thumb grazing against the line of your jaw as if he were memorizing it. And then his mouth had moved lower, his teeth nipping at your collarbone until you’d let out an embarrassingly needy sound that had him pulling back, smirking.
“What?” you’d huffed, feeling your cheeks flush.
“Nothing,” he’d murmured, “Just love seeing you like this.”
Like this?
You didn’t even know what he meant. All you knew was that he hadn’t stopped looking at you like that since, his eyes following every curve of your face, lingering on the way your lips parted as you tried to get your breathing under control.
“Focus,” you’d said, half-laughing, half-gasping. “We’re supposed to be studying.”
“Pretty sure I was learning a lot,” he’d countered as he ran a hand down your side, “Like how you’re really ticklish right here.” 
And then his fingers had dug into your side, making you squirm and giggle, batting his hand away until you’d ended up tangled even closer together, his mouth pressing quick kisses along your cheek until you finally gave in, letting him kiss you again.
That’s how you’d ended up here now—his arm slung around your shoulders, his other hand playing with the ends of your hair as you half-watched whatever movie he’d picked. His chest was warm and solid against your back, and every now and then, he’d press a kiss to your hair.
“You’re gonna miss the whole movie,” he teased lightly, his voice rumbling against your ear.
“You’re the one who distracted me,” you pointed out, turning slightly to give him a look. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Hmm, fair,” he agreed, grinning lazily as his fingers traced random patterns on your thigh. “But I think I’d rather kiss you anyway.”
 “You’re ridiculous.”
“Only for you,” And there it was again—that look, the one that made your breath hitch and your heart do a funny little backflip.
It was so easy to lose track of time like this—getting lost in him, the way his eyes softened whenever he looked at you, the warmth of his hand against your skin. You didn’t know how long you lay there, just soaking it all in, until he moved a little, turning slightly so he was looking right at you.
“Hey,” he reached up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Hey,” you whispered back, blinking up at him. He hesitated for a second and then he took a deep breath, looking way too serious for what you’d expected on a lazy night like this.
“Can I ask you something?” his thumb brushed softly against your cheek.
“Yeah, of course.”
“I, um…” He paused, looking almost… nervous? But that didn’t make sense. This was Rafe Cameron—the guy who never seemed fazed by anything. “I was thinking… I mean, we’ve been… you know.”
You blinked at him, trying to understand where he was going with this. “Rafe, you’re not making any sense.”
He let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe himself. 
“Right, sorry.” He looked down for a second, then met your eyes again, “I was just wondering if… if you’d want to be my girlfriend. Officially.”
Rafe? Nervous? Asking if you’d want to be his girlfriend? As if that wasn’t already painfully obvious.
You pressed your lips together, trying not to burst into a cackle as you pretended to think it over. “Hmmm…” you started slowly, watching the way his brow furrowed, like he was already second-guessing himself. “I dunno…”
He blinked, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. “Wait, unless you don’t want to? Because if that’s the case, I’m sorry—like, we don’t have to—”
“Rafe.” You cut him off, watching as his eyes darted between yours, full-on panicking now.
“I just thought… you know, since we’re always hanging out… and the kisses, I mean—unless you think they’re weird? I’m sorry, stop looking at me like that, please.”
You finally let out the laugh you’d been holding in.
“Really? You’re laughing at me now?”
“Cameron,” you said through a chuckle, “I’m already basically your girlfriend. You didn’t have to ask.”
He raised an eyebrow, pretending to look offended. “I’m being a gentleman here, okay? I—I know, okay? I know this isn’t the way people usually do it,” he rambled, suddenly looking adorably flustered. “I was going to do some big, stupid gesture, maybe show up with flowers or whatever, but… I thought about it, and I know you hate surprises, so I didn’t want to make a whole thing out of it and freak you out.” He paused, taking another deep breath, his hand tightening slightly around yours. “But I couldn’t wait anymore,” he admitted. “I just— I want it to be real. I want to be able to call you mine. For real.”
This wasn’t a casual question. This wasn’t some flirty comment in the hallway, something he could brush off if you didn’t react the way he wanted. He was serious. Completely, terrifyingly serious.
 “You really—?”
“Yes,” he said immediately, leaning forward, “I really want this. You and me. No more of this ‘are-they-or-aren’t-they’ crap.”
The smile that spread across your face was blinding, “Okay. I’ll say yes for your sake.”
And then, he was kissing you—hard and fast and completely giddy, like he couldn’t believe it.
“God, you’re gonna make me crazy,” he murmured against your mouth, his hands cradling your face like he couldn’t get close enough. “My girl. You’re actually my girl.”
The second his lips were on yours again, all coherent thoughts went flying out of your head. It was like his mouth had some kind of superpower over you. t made everything else—every little doubt and worry—just… disappear. 
“Oh my God, no. Wait. Tell me,” you said, sitting up a little so you could look at him better. “When did you realize you had feelings for me?”
Rafe’s hand was still brushing against your thigh as he looked down at you. “Like… three weeks into our deal.”
 “Three weeks?!”
“Yeah,” he said it casually, like he hadn’t just dropped that little bomb on you. “We were about three weeks in. You were still going on about Nate, and I was, I don’t know. I started getting annoyed anytime you brought him up.”
You stared at him, trying to wrap your head around that. “So, while I was trying to figure out how to get Nate to like me, you were just… what? Secretly into me?”
He snickered, leaning back against the headboard, looking way too relaxed for someone who’d kept his feelings a secret for months.
“Pretty much.”
“You were such an ass to me back then,” you pointed out, still kind of shocked.
“Yeah, because I didn’t know what the hell to do with how I was feeling,” he admitted, “We acted like we hated each other for years. I didn’t just wake up one day and go, ‘Oh, maybe I like her.’ It took me a minute to figure it out.”
You were still processing. Three weeks in? That was barely when you started realizing he wasn’t the worst person in the world.
“So, what, you just... didn’t say anything?”
Rafe gave you a look, like you should’ve known better. “Of course not. What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, I know we’ve spent most of our lives hating each other, but now I’m kind of into you’?” He shook his head. “Besides, you were still all hung up on Nate.”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands for a second. “Oh my God. That’s so embarrassing.”
“Nah,” he said, laughing softly as he pulled your hands away from your face. “It’s kinda cute, honestly. You had no idea.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “You really waited until I was over my Nate phase to make a move, didn’t you?”
“Yup. I was patient,” he said, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I was better for you anyway.”
Rafe was still so close, his lips hovering just above yours like he was waiting for you to make the move. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction—not yet. “You think you’re better for me, huh?”
 “I know I am.”
You didn’t even have time to roll your eyes before he kissed you again, slowly at first, almost teasing, until his hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. The way his lips moved against yours, the little rasp he let out when you kissed him back harder—it nearly sent your heart into cardiac arrest.
And then you ruined it. Because then, like always, that stupid little voice crept in. The one that wouldn’t just let you be happy. Yeah, it was perfect now, in your tiny dorm room where it was just the two of you and the outside world didn’t exist. But next week, you’d both be going home for spring break. And that voice kept whispering what you didn’t want to think about.
Back home, it wouldn’t just be the two of you anymore. No more bubble. Just the island. And everyone on it. All the stupid expectations and labels and… baggage.
Because you were you, the pogue girl who worked summers and knew every corner of The Cut like the back of her hand. And he was Rafe Cameron. Kook royalty. The guy who used to make it his personal mission to remind you of that difference every chance he got.
His friends? They were probably still the same assholes who’d laughed about it like you were something beneath them. What if they still did?
And what if—God, what if—he started to see it like that again too? Realize that all this wasn’t worth the hassle? He was always so sure here, like the past didn’t matter, like he wasn’t even that guy anymore, but… what if being back there, where everyone knew who you really were… changed things?
You pulled back slightly, just enough to break the kiss. He made a low, disappointed sound, eyes opening and immediately locking on yours, his hand still holding your jaw. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you lied, “I’m just… I keep thinking about… going home.”
His brows drew together, “What about it?”
“It’s just… things are different there,” you looked away even though his hand was gently turning your face back toward him.
“Different how?” he pressed, like he needed to figure out what was going on in your head.
“You know.” You bit your lip, taking a shaky breath. “You’re Rafe Cameron, Rafe. And I’m… I’m just—”
His jaw clenched, his fingers stilling against your skin. “No. Stop,” he said softly but firmly. “You’re not ‘just’ anything.”
“It’s true, though! I’m still that pogue girl to them. Your friends, your people—Kooks—they’re gonna look at me and see exactly what they used to. And even if they don’t say it, they’re thinking it. I can feel it, Rafe. And you—” You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. “You can’t pretend that won’t matter.”
Suddenly, he was sitting up, practically towering over you, “Are you kidding me? You think I give a shit what they think?”
You blinked up at him, “Rafe—”
“No, seriously,” he went on, cutting you off, his hand still cradling your face like he was afraid you’d run if he let go. “I don’t care what they think. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I care about you.” He leaned closer, his eyes blazing as he held your gaze. “I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not… that Rafe.”
“But what if—”
“No ‘what ifs,’” he murmured, shaking his head, his thumb brushing over your cheek like he was wiping away an invisible tear. “I’m done pretending. I’m done worrying about who’s watching or what they’re saying. I don’t want to hide this. I don’t want to hide you. I’m not ashamed, okay?”
Your chest tightened painfully. “But what if being back there—”
“Baby, baby, baby,” he cut you off, voice soft but so steady, like he was trying to pull you back to him. “No. Don’t do this. I’m not letting you talk yourself out of this.” He leaned in, his forehead gently bumping against yours. “When I say I want you, I mean I want all of you. Here, home, everywhere. I want to show up with you at every party, every stupid get-together, holding your hand and daring anyone to say a word about it.”
Your breath hitched, feeling stupid tears prick at your eyes, “You—You really mean that?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Home changes nothing. We’re still us. You’re still mine.”
You felt a tear slip down your cheek, and he brushed it away, his lips hovering over yours.
“Promise?” 
“Promise.”
You were a goner after that.
Completely lost in the feel of his tongue slipping past your lips, his fingers teasing at the hem of your shirt. Your heart was practically doing somersaults when you pulled him closer, your nails scraping lightly across his bare back.
“Rafe,” you breathed, your voice barely more than a sigh as his hands roamed up under your top, fingertips skimming along the sensitive skin of your ribs. He made a low, satisfied sound against your lips, his grip tightening just enough to make you want to eat him whole. His thumbs brushed the underside of your bra, and you arched into him, chasing the touch like you were starved for it.
“Baby, you have no idea what you do to me,” he practically cooed, his voice all gravelly and wrecked as his mouth traced down the side of your neck, peppering kisses. “So fucking perfect—”
You tugged his hair lightly, just enough to make him look up at you again, a devilish smirk pulling at his lips. “You know, you’re supposed to be watching the movie,” you teased, breathless, not even pretending to sound convincing.
“Movie’s boring,” he purred, his hands slipping higher, thumb tracing over the lace of your bra. “I’m a lot more interested in you, pretty girl.”
Before you could even think of a comeback, his mouth was on yours again, needier this time. He kissed you like he was desperate, one of his hands sliding back down, gripping your waist as he dragged you onto his lap, and you could feel every lean muscle of his chest, the solid heat of his body pressed up against you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he grabbed a handful of your ass, holding you to him like you were the only thing that mattered.
You made a small, breathy sound as he explored your mouth, his hand sliding into your hair, cradling your face as he angled you just right, and you instinctively leaned into him, waiting more. He tilted your chin up slightly, and his tongue slid against yours, slick and probing, your mouths moving together in soft gasps and heavy breaths. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before. You couldn’t believe this was the same guy who had been your first kiss just a month ago. You knew—knew—that if you kept this up, if you didn’t stop—
The door burst open.
“I swear, if I ever see that asshole again, I’m going to— Oh. Oh.”
You whipped around to see Ava standing in the doorway, looking like she was ready to throw hands, in all her pissed-off, storming-in glory. She was still wearing her cute little date outfit—red crop top, high-waisted jeans—but her hair was kind of a mess, and her lipstick was smudged, like she’d been fuming the entire walk over. 
Rafe’s lips were swollen, red, a little glossy, and his hair was a mess from your fingers. But did he look embarrassed? Even the slightest bit ashamed that you’d just been caught practically swallowing each other’s faces?
Absolutely not. 
But what made you actually gape was the fact that fact Ava didn’t even blink at the sight of you straddling Rafe, his shirt completely off, your own top halfway up your ribs. Instead, she just waved her hand dismissively, like she couldn’t care less that she’d just walked in on a borderline soft-core porno scene. 
“What happened?” you asked, your voice still breathless as you tried to act like you hadn’t been moments away from letting him do whatever he wanted to you.
“I was saying—this fucker had the nerve to tell me that he thinks women shouldn’t split the bill because they don’t work as hard. Like, what the actual fuck?”
Rafe let out a loud, frustrated groan against your shoulder, his forehead dropping onto your collarbone as he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
You smothered a giggle, trying and failing to glare at him while Ava, completely oblivious, kept right on ranting.
“Seriously, I should’ve just walked out then and there, but noooo, I thought, be nice, Ava, don’t make a scene. And what does this prick do?” She threw her hands up, pacing back and forth as you slowly—very awkwardly—slipped off Rafe’s lap, tugging your hoodie back into place.
“Uh… what?” you asked, doing your absolute best to sound normal while Rafe buried his face against your neck, his shoulders shaking as he mumbled, “She’s such a fucking cockblock,” against your skin. You smacked the back of his head lightly, biting your lip to keep from laughing.
“Shh,” you hissed at him, and he just grumbled something unintelligible, his lips still grazing your shoulder.
“Anyway!” Ava continued, still blissfully unaware. “The asshole pulls out coupons. Like, actual physical coupons. And then he tries to use one to get a free dessert, but surprise, surprise, it’s expired, so what does he do? Blames me. Me! Like I’m the one who asked to go to a place with coupons—”
“Jesus Christ,” Rafe sighed, finally lifting his head from your neck, giving her an exasperated look. “Does she ever stop talking?”
“Shut up,” you murmured, swatting his chest even as you tried not to giggle. Ava’s gaze flicked over to the two of you, her expression still murderously angry—but she still didn’t seem even a little fazed by the fact that Rafe was literally shirtless, looking like he’d been in the middle of something much more interesting.
“Anyway, so then he tries to say that he thinks I’m being too sensitive. Like, are you kidding? Sensitive? I should’ve shoved the damn breadsticks up his ass!”
Rafe let out a sound that was somewhere between a snort and a growl, dropping his head back onto your shoulder with a dramatic groan. “You’re killing me."
You giggled, shaking your head and patting his hair soothingly. “You’ll survive,” you murmured, still trying to keep a straight face. Ava was still pacing, muttering angrily under her breath.
“I swear to God, next time, I’m just bringing a taser. I’m not playing anymore. You think I’m being sensitive? Here, take 50,000 volts and let’s see how sensitive you feel after that—”
Rafe lifted his head again, looking between you and Ava with an expression that could only be described as done. “Can I kill her?” he asked flatly.
You smacked his shoulder again, laughing. “No, Rafe. Be nice.”
“I am being nice,” he shot back, giving you an incredulous look. “I’m suffering, babe. I’m over here, trying to—” He gestured between the two of you pointedly. “—and she’s giving me a freaking lecture on expired coupons.”
“I know,” you whispered, grinning as he groaned and dropped his head against your chest this time.
“Why do I even try?” he sighed, sounding utterly defeated.
“And then he actually thought he could just—”
Ava abruptly stopped mid-sentence, her eyes narrowing as she took in the scene before her. Her attention flicked between you and Rafe, lingering on the way you were still nestled against him.
“Wait a second,” she said slowly, “What the hell just happened here?”
You felt your cheeks heat up as you shot a look at Rafe, who was now smirking like the cat who got the cream.
“Uh, nothing? Just a little... study break?” you stammered.
Ava crossed her arms, her eyebrow arched in that way that always made you feel like she was reading your mind. “Study break, huh?”
Rafe leaned back, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “What can I say? I’m a good tutor. A very hands-on tutor.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, suddenly serious.
“You better use protection, Cameron,” she warned, pointing a finger at him like a stern teacher. “I swear to God, if you get her pregnant—”
“AVA!” you exclaimed, mortified, covering your face with your hands. You could feel the heat radiating off your cheeks, and it was all you could do to not melt into the floor.
“What?” she said innocently, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Just looking out for my girl here. I mean, have you seen him? He’s trouble.”
Rafe, still unbothered, just laughed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Yup, there she is,” he said, glancing at you with a cheeky glint in his eye. 
You shot him a faux glare, then turned back to Ava, throwing your hands up in exasperation. You groaned, half-laughing, half-embarrassed. “Can we not talk about my potential future children right now?”
She just scooted right between you and Rafe, sitting in bed and throwing her legs over the blanket, settling in like she belonged there. You blinked, caught between amused and confused, as she wiggled down, practically cocooning herself.
"What are we watching?" Ava asked, completely ignoring the fact that she had become the ultimate third wheel.
You could see Rafe moving, trying to reclaim some form of contact with you. His arm was awkwardly hovering like he wasn’t sure what to do now that you were out of reach. You turned slightly—he was full-on pouting. His bottom lip stuck out just enough that you had to fight the urge to laugh.
“Uh, nothing now,” Rafe muttered, his voice full of that trademark grumpiness. “Can't even hold my girl.”
Ava just shrugged, completely unfazed, casually throwing an arm over your waist. “Oh, c’mon, you’ll survive one movie without being all over each other.” She glanced between you two like she was the voice of reason, which—let’s be real—she was not.
You shot Rafe a playful look, but he was still sulking, “Gonna start dragging you to my dorm.”
“Shup up Cameron, let me watch the movie.”
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TAGLIST: @sxdghxstsbxxkshxlf @goddmie @voqueflms @mattyskies @maybankslover @psychocitylights @sunny1616 @bokutooooo @justafangirls-blog @cl4uus @persiar9 // if you asked me to tagged and i forgot iM SORRY <3 thank you all for the support!
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mister0ctopus · 3 months ago
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apart-mental issues part 4
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mini series - jeon jungkook
Pairings: Neighbor JK x Reader
Summary: Just your awkward and embarrassing encounters with your next-door neighbor, Jungkook.
PART 4 FINAL CHAPTER audentes fortuna iuvat after hours dark brown eyes
Ratings: 18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Warnings: Explicit language, Mature Contents
Au/Genre: Mini Series, Neighbor JK, Enemies to Lovers, Smut, Fluff
Word Count: 5.7K
a/n: inspired by when i moved to my new apartment and my next door neighbor wasnt jungkook :(
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🐙 Masterlist / talk2me?
apart-mental issues part 1 apart-mental issues part 2 apart-mental issues part 3 apart-mental issues part 4 (FINAL)
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📜 audentes fortuna iuvat
“Fortune favors the brave. The world does not wait for those who stand still...
In the dynamic tide of economics, fortune does not favor hesitation—it rewards those who move forward with intention and purpose. Thank you.”
The sound of polite applause filled the classroom, cutting through the nervous tension that had been clawing at your chest since the start of your presentation. You exchanged a look with Sean, whose face was a mix of pride and relief. Weeks of sleepless nights, endless revisions, and caffeine-fueled discussions had paid off. Finally, it was over.
As the professor dismissed the class, you and Sean shared a high-five, the kind that stung your palm but left you grinning like an idiot.
“You want a ride to work? I’m heading that way anyway,” Sean offered as the two of you exited the lecture hall.
“Sure, thanks,” you replied, fishing your phone out of your bag to check the time. The sight of your wallpaper made you pause. It was a candid mirror selfie you’d taken in the grocery store a few weeks ago, Jungkook holding a grocery bag in one hand, his tattooed arm possessively wrapped around your shoulders.
Your thumb hovered over the screen. Lately, you’d been trying to stay more organized, a goal you had set for yourself after your talk with Jungkook a couple of days ago. Alarms, sticky notes, even your wallpaper—anything to keep your forgetful brain in check.
Before you could type, his name popped up on your screen.
nextdoor<3 [11:05 PM]: Going to work now? 😀
You smiled, already typing a response.
You [11:05 PM]: Heyyy! I was just about to text you. Yeah, catching a ride with Sean
Sean was busy rummaging through his pockets for his car keys as you walked toward the open parking space.
nextdoor<3 [11:06 PM]: No need. Turn your pretty ass to your left. 😋
Your head snapped to the left, and you let out a small gasp... there he was, leaning against his car with a wide grin. His hands were tucked into his pockets, and he looked so effortlessly handsome and cool in his casual oversized white shirt and acid washed jeans.
Sean followed your gaze. Before you could explain, Jungkook was already striding toward you, with his stupid grin.
“Hi,” he greeted casually, his voice a little chipper as his eyes locked with yours.
“Hey! Um, this is Sean, you know him…” You gestured between them, trying to mask your flustered state.
“Sean, YN’s classmate and case study partner,” Sean introduced himself, offering a cheerful smile and an outstretched hand.
“Jungkook,” he replied, shaking Sean’s hand firmly. “YN’s boyfriend. I’m here to pick her up.”
Your eyes widened as your head whipped toward Jungkook. Boyfriend? He didn’t even glance at you, keeping his focus on Sean, who looked equally surprised.
“Oh! I didn’t know YN had a boyfriend,” Sean said, his confusion evident, looking at you with a wide smile.
“Uh, well… You never asked!” you laughed nervously, playfully tapping Jungkook’s shoulder. He didn’t so much as flinch, his attention still fixed on Sean.
Sean chuckled. “Well, take care you guys! Nice meeting you Jungkook! See you later, YN!” He waved and headed off toward his car.
Once Sean was out of earshot, you turned to Jungkook. “Boyfriend? What was that?” your tone was clearly curious and surprised.
He kept his grin and shrugged nonchalantly, taking your bag off your shoulder and grabbing the books from your hands. Without a word, he started walking toward his car with a smirk.
“Jungkook!” you called after him, your tone rising as you trailed behind him. He opened the backseat to place your things inside before moving to the passenger side to open the door for you.
Him not answering you was making you a little frustrated, and you stood there, arms crossed, refusing to get in.
“Are you mad?” he asked finally, his tone calm but his wide teasing grin was plastered all over his stupidly handsome face.
“I’m not. Yet. But if you keep ignoring me, I will be.”
His smirk turned into a wide, bunny smile. “Baby, you’re my girl. I don’t care if you haven’t figured it out by now. Now, get in the car, my princess baby gorgeous angel, or you’re going to be late for work. Unless… you want to call in sick and spend my day off with me instead?”
“Yeah, something is wrong with you” you playfully sighed and slid into the car, but as you did, you bumped your head against the doorframe. It wasn’t hard—actually, it was quite soft. As you looked up, you found his hand already there, gently covering your head as if he were used to this. Instead of saying "oopsie," you just smiled and rolled your eyes as a thank you because this wasn’t new.
He shut the door behind you, his laughter soft as he walked around to the driver’s side.
“Seriously, though. I told you, I don't like bothering you.” you asked once he’d settled into his seat.
"I also told you that I’m here. Bother me? My girl could never bother me. You just gotta figure out how to need me,” he said, pulling down the sun visor over your head as the midday sun began to shine through.
“Who says I’m your girl?” You raised an eyebrow as you removed your hoodie. The midday summer heat was starting to make you comfortable in just your tank top underneath.
“You did,” he replied with a grin as he ran a hand through his dark hair.
You paused, trying to remember. “When?”
“A couple of days ago, when you came on my fingers, I thought it was pretty clear—”
“Jungkook!” you shrieked, hands flying to cover his mouth as heat flooded your face. "What is wrong with you!"
He laughed against your palms, pulling them away gently.
“What’s wrong with me is that I’m getting greedy,” he admitted, his tone softening. “I know I said I didn’t need answers from you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop saying and doing what I want.” He cocked his head, his gaze locking with yours. “Kiss me right now if you don’t like it.”
Your gasp at his audacity. “Wow. I want my patient, gentle Jungkook back.”
“Don’t summon him. You get this version now.” He gestured to himself with a chuckle.
“And who am I talking to right now?”
“You want to know?” he murmured, leaning closer. His gaze dropped to your lips, and your pulse quickens. He inched closer, his breath brushing against your cheeks.
You froze and gulped, which made him smirk when he saw.
You wanted to roll your eyes at how easily he could make you feel this way, but then, he claimed your mouth as if it were his.
His lips moved with determination. Confident. Slow. The flick of his tongue against your lower lip sent a shiver through you, and you couldn’t help but surrender to his kiss. You parted your lips, inviting him in like a welcomed guest, and he decisively came to take residence, as though your tongue were his home and this was no mere visit.
His tongue possessed yours with patience, as if he had all the time in the world.
To taste you. To tease you. So slowly, so surely.
Jungkook knows how to kiss, and he knows it well.
The proof lay in the way your hands instinctively reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling him closer. In response, his lips wandered down your neck, unhurried yet utterly consuming, moving lower and lower until they reached your chest. His tongue flicked over your skin just above the curve of your breasts, drawing a soft moan from you as your grip on his shirt tightened, desperate to bring him closer.
“Jungkook…”
And just as you were about to lose yourself in him—
he pulled back.
huh?
His thumb brushed over your swollen lips, his tongue poking at his inner cheek.
You stared at him, wide-eyed, breathless, chest heaving, cheeks flushed.
“I told you, you’re my girl,” he said with finality, buckling your seatbelt before starting the car to drive you to work, grinning like an idiot while you’re still gasping for air.
🍻 after hours
The week flew by quickly, and your classes were becoming more relaxed as you focused solely on lectures, giving you more time to rest.
Work had been lighter too, with the full staff back. Your manager had kept her word, giving you an extra day off tomorrow now that your workmates were back from being sick.
Hours passed, and more customers trickled in. The bar filled with the usual noise and chaos, but you didn’t mind. You glanced at the clock—just two more hours until you could go home.
Thoughts of sleeping in, tangled up with Jungkook, ordering takeout, watching silly shows, chatting about your week, and doing absolutely nothing together kept you going.
You had just returned from the kitchen when you noticed the inner booth was now occupied. You quickly weaved through the tables, only to find…
Him, again?
Jungkook looked up at you, his familiar bunny smile stretching across his face. His nose scrunched, eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Huh?” you blinked in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Having a good time,” he replied smoothly, his voice like velvet. That black leather jacket he wore hugged him just right, over a plain white shirt, paired with jeans.
Omg. Seriously this man.
All you could think about was how good he’d feel against you later tonight. So firm, so warm.
“Jungkook, seriously!” You snapped out of your thoughts and tried to keep your cool, scanning the room. “Are you here with friends?”
“Nope,” he said, leaning back in the booth with that smug grin—that fucking grin— that made you want to smack him and kiss him all at once. “I’m here to pick my girl up. Couldn’t wait to see you. And…” His voice dropped, his gaze trailing over you shamelessly, “...I wanted to watch you work.”
“What are you on today!” You shoved his arm, fighting back the laugh that bubbled up, your cheeks burning. “You didn’t have to pick me up again! Also where is the goodie-softie Jungkook?”
He shook his head, a cocky grin spreading across his face. “He’s not here. You get this greedy Jungkook now.” His eyes are full of mischief.
"You can keep being miss independent, which you are, insisting you don’t need me for all you want, but like I said, I'm gonna do what I want to do. I’m done pretending I’m okay waiting around.”
He stared at you, eyeing you up and down, not even trying to hide it.
Your arms crossed, more for self-defense against the butterflies erupting in your chest than anything else. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, seriously, stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asked, feigning innocence as he tilted his head, his lips curling in that trademark teasing smile.
“Like you’re going to eat me.”
His grin widened as he leaned forward, elbows resting on the table.
“Oh, I am.”
Your breath hitched, but you fought to keep your composure. “Then, baby, you have to be patient until we get home.”
Jungkook chuckled as he leaned back, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jacket, shaking his head. “Oh, baby, I’ve been patient for months. A few more hours is nothing.”
“Good,” you replied, though your voice wavered slightly. “Now I have to get back to work.”
Before turning away, you paused. “Do you want anything?”
He smirked, playing with his lip ring like he had all the time in the world. “You.”
“Jungkook…” You rolled your eyes, but the involuntary smile tugging at your lips gave you away.
“Just a root beer float, please.” He glanced at your name tag, “YN”, dragging out your name like it was the tastiest word to ever roll off his tongue.
The way your name slipped from his lips sent a rush of heat straight down your legs. “Coming right up,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady as you turned to head back toward the kitchen. But you couldn’t resist glancing at him over your shoulder.
You caught him staring, his eyes fixed on your ass, your tight skirt hugging every curve.
“Jungkook!” you hissed, shooting him a glare.
He just shrugged, his Cheshire cat grin widening.
--
When your shift finally ended, you didn’t bother changing out of your uniform, too eager to go home with him. Throwing on your jacket, you headed out, your coworker Rosie giving you a knowing smirk after all the blatant eye-fucking that had transpired throughout the evening between you and Jungkook.
You just blew her a kiss and waved.
Outside the bar, the night was cold, the wind biting at your legs as you spotted Jungkook standing where he’d waited for you last time. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his solid figure a stark contrast against the soft dark of the night.
As you approached, he stretched out his hand to you, his smile softening into something that made your chest ache. Without a word, you slipped your hand into his, and two of you walk swiftly toward his car, your strides charged with intent and urgency.
👁️👁️ dark brown eyes
The moment you slide into the passenger seat, Jungkook wastes no time. He leans in, cupping your face gently yet possessively, and kisses you deeply. His tongue slides into your mouth, exploring, making sure to taste every angle of you. A soft moan escapes you, and he groans in response, his hands gripping the base of your jaw just a little tighter.
He pulls away for a brief second, his forehead resting against yours as he catches his breath. But the break doesn’t last long—his lips are back on yours, this time sucking on your tongue, his own sliding against it in a way that makes your head spin.
Heat pools low in your belly, and you clench around nothing. You feel the ache between your thighs and press them together to soothe it.
“Fuck,” Jungkook groans, his voice rough and strained as he suddenly pulls away, his pupils blown wide with desire. “Let’s fucking go home right now before I lose it,” he says, his voice low and desperate as he buckles your seatbelt with hurried hands.
Without another word, he starts the car. The engine roars as he grips the steering wheel with one hand. You’re still catching your breath, your lips tingling from his kiss, as you watch him drive a little faster than usual. His eyes stay focused on the road, but you notice the subtle bob of his Adam's apple, as if he’s swallowing down words he can’t bring himself to say.
Your gaze shifts to his hands, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white. It’s as if he’s using every ounce of control to keep himself in check. And yet, with every stolen glance at him, the tension only grows stronger.
Twenty minutes later, as soon as he parks the car in your apartment lot, you fumble with your seatbelt, unbuckling it in record time. Before he can even react, you reach for him, pulling his face into a hungry kiss. It’s more sloppy and messy this time, your tongue trailing down his neck, licking, biting, and sucking at his pulse points, making his breath hitch. You know the way you’re marking his skin will leave evidence, but you don’t care. Neither does he.
The kiss deepens, and his need for control emerges. One of his hands cups the back of your neck, guiding you exactly how he wants, while the other finds your chest, firmly grasping your clothed breast. He kneads and squeezes, the pressure making you moan into his mouth.
You tug on his long locks, eliciting a guttural whimper, making you squirm in your seat. Suddenly, the blinding light of an approaching car floods the space, like a spotlight, as if you’ve been thrust onto a stage to perform. The two of you freeze, still panting, until the car passes and settles into its spot. But more cars follow, one by one, claiming the surrounding spaces.
“Baby,” he rasps against your lips, his voice strained, dripping with desire, “let’s go inside.” He kisses you again, his lips urgent and needy, before dragging his mouth to your neck. “Please.”
You’re both a mess, drunk on lust and each other. Without another word, you stumble out of the car, your steps hurried and deliberate as you head toward your apartment building.
Halfway up the stairs, as if drawn together by some invisible force, you’re back in his arms. His mouth crashes into yours, devouring you with fervor, while your bodies grind against each other with an almost primal urgency.
He slams you against the wall, pinning you with his solid frame. His hard erection presses into your stomach, and he grinds against you. Your hand slips down to touch him through his pants, making his head fall forward against your shoulder.
“Fuck,” he hisses, his hands tighten on your waist.
He trails open-mouthed kisses down your neck, and you feel your skin prickle from the sensation.
You try to stay quiet, but when his finger slides under your short skirt, brushing against the damp fabric of your soaked underwear, you instinctively bite down on his shoulder.
With ease, he pushes your underwear to the side and slides one finger, gliding over your slick slit, gathering the wetness that’s been pooling since you left the bar.
You move against him, needy and desperate, and he smiles against the kiss. "Goddamn...so fucking wet."
You feel another finger slowly slides inside, and you stop kissing him and gasp for air as he pushes deeper and deeper. He looks around to make sure no one’s getting a free show, but you need his mouth, so you hold his face with both hands and kiss him again.
In steady motion, he pumps his fingers inside, dragging them nice and slow, but it only makes you want more. When he curls them, hitting that spot, you bite your lip, stifling the moans as he bites and licks your earlobe, his breath hot against your skin.
With every stroke, your body shakes, and just when you feel the sudden knot breaking, his tongue slides into your mouth, swallowing your moans as you come—hard, shaking, with your legs giving way. But his hand grips your ass, keeping you steady as you whimper quietly in pleasure, while he moves slowly inside you, riding your high.
Then, he pulls his fingers out, bringing them to his lips, licking them clean before shoving them into you, his gaze is dark, undone.
You’re both breathing heavily when you suddenly hear a door opening and closing from the hallway, as if it’s your cue to keep walking and continue this tryst in your apartment.
Without missing a beat, he takes the lead, pulling you toward his door, his keys jangling in his hand as he unlocks it. In an instant, you’re both inside.
As soon as you enter his house, he wastes no time. Your jacket and shirt are discarded on the floor. He lifts you effortlessly, guiding you toward his bed, kissing you hungrily as you move.
He gently lays you down as if you're the most fragile thing, but as soon as your back hits the bed, he grabs your ankle, pulling you to the edge. Kneeling between your legs, his eyes burn with need as he prepares to feast on your body.
With one quick motion, he pulls off your panties and tosses them aside, leaving you in just your tight, short skirt.
“This fucking tease of a skirt. Do you know how many times I’ve imagined pushing this up and have you like this?“ he murmurs.
You spread your legs wider for him, and he hooks them over his shoulders, diving into your folds with a fervent hunger. His tongue moves with slow, deliberate precision. Your moans fill the room, his name and strings of curses tumbling from your lips as he devours you completely.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
The sinful sound of his mouth on your now dripping pussy fills the air. The knot in your stomach tightens, yet you crave more of him, so you press his head into your cunt, grinding against his face. It earns a deep, groan from him, sending shivers down your spine.
"Jungkook, I’m so cl—fucking coming again!" Your hands grip his hair, his shoulders, your tits, the blankets beneath you as your body shatters as you come.
"Uh-huh," he groans, his tongue lapping up your juices, licking you clean. Curses and his name echo in the room.
Your legs are still shaking when you feel him hover over you, kissing you slowly, making you taste yourself on his lips.
You lick your juices from his lips down to his chin—sweet and salty—before you feel him get on his knees, gripping the base of his thick, hard cock, pre-cum glistening in the soft glow of the night lamp.
You prop yourself up on your elbows, one hand curling around him, spreading the slick pre-cum over the sensitive tip. His sheer length and girth seem designed to destroy you completely.
What a sight—his mouth parted, eyes dark with raw hunger. And when he presses his thumb to your lips, you suck on it, desperate, obedient.
A hiss escapes him, sharp, followed by a long, broken whimper, like music to your ears.
"Baby, please," you whisper, though it comes out as begging, your voice cracking as you lay your head back down, your hand still pumping his cock.
“What do you want? Tell me,” he murmurs, cupping your face, the weight of his chest pressing you into the mattress.
“I want you,” you plead, grinding back against him. “Inside me. Please.”
He pauses,his gaze searching your face, as if trying to gauge whether you’re saying this out of need or if you’re truly certain. Many heated, nasty makeout sessions have passed between you, and though he knows your body has begged him for more, this is the first time you’ve ever said it aloud.
He’s grateful. He’s also scared. He also wants to cry.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to if you’re not ready—”
You cut him off with a desperate, hungry kiss.
“I’m sure. Please, I beg you. Fuck me, Jungkook. Please put your cock inside me.”
Without wasting time, he gets on his knees, and before you even realize it, he has opened a condom and rolled it on, his gaze locked on yours the entire time.
He towers over you. He brushes his tip between your folds, gathering your slickness.
Your cunt clenches with anticipation, and a sharp hiss escapes him. Then, he looks at you, as if silently asking for permission. You nod erratically.
"Please..."
He dips his head down, kissing you deeply, so deeply, and you moan, loud and sinful, the sound ripping from your throat as he finally enters you. It’s as if something inside him snaps. Jungkook fills you in one smooth, deliberate motion.
“Oh fuck so thick Jungk—". You gasp. A slight pain follows.
You’ve known it when you had him in your mouth so many times, gagging and choking on him, but nothing could’ve prepared you for how he stretches you now.
“Shit, baby. So fucking tight.” he hisses, his eyes shut in pleasure.
You wince, and he doesn’t move, kissing you tenderly, his hands drawing comforting circles on your arm.
As the stretch becomes more bearable, you look up at him, breathless. “Fuck me now, please.”
He sighs in relief, then sinks fully into you, his hips flush against yours.
He’s fucking you slowly, carefully, dragging his long, thick dick inside you, and you clench around him so tight that he throws his head back and curses under his breath.
“You have no idea how long I’ve imagined this” he growls, his voice rough and strained. “My cock inside you, fucking you like this—fuck.” He grunts with each thrust, his grip tightening on you.
You squeeze around him more, and he lets out a soft whimper, his body shuddering at the feeling of your tight walls.
And suddenly, he turns you over. Your ass is raised in the air, your face pressed into the sheets.
Tears sting the corners of your eyes as his tongue dives back into your pussy, licking, devouring. Then he stops. Just long enough to spit into your cunt before slamming into you again. Harder. Brutal. The force makes your eyes roll back, a gasp torn from your throat.
Each thrust sends tremors through your body. One hand pushes your head down, holding you in place, while the other grips your wrists behind your back.
You sob in pleasure. He feels so good, he fucks so good, so good.
“Jungkook—ah, fuck!”
“Baby, we have to be a little quiet,” he grins, his voice low and strained as he slams into you. “Thin walls, remember?”
“I can’t !” You can’t. You’ve lost control of your body, responding to every movement, every thrust, as Jungkook wills it. You can only take what he gives.
"You can’t?” he taunts, breath searing against your ear as he drags his cock out, achingly slow, until only the tip lingers. “Cock that good?” The words spill with a smirk, and then he slams back in—a deliberate, punishing thrust that rips the air from your lungs.
“Fuck—yes!” You barely recognize your own words.
“Yeah? You want my fucking cock?” His voice is two octaves lower, each word punctuated by a rough thrust, his hand squeezing your breast like he owns it.
“You like taking my fucking cock? Hmm?” Another thrust, harder this time.
You nod—wildly, desperately—tears spilling over, your body trembling, unable to stop.
"Then take it,” he commands as he leans in, his words grazing over your ear. “Take it like you mean it. Like a good girl. Take my fucking cock.” His hips snap forward, sharp and unforgiving, dragging a sob from your throat. Relentless. He drives into you harder, deeper, without a shred of mercy, ruining you completely.
You expected sex with him to be intense, consuming. You knew he knew how to fuck, knew he was an attentive and generous lover. But not like this. Not a wildfire that burns through every corner of your being, leaving nothing untouched.
When he feels your legs shake again, he slaps your ass and flips you onto your back, your body now facing his.
“Let me see your face, baby. Look at me, please.” You gaze up at him through teary eyes, your pupils hazy with lust. His hands gently move the strands of your messy hair from your face before wandering down to your breasts, his lips following the trail as his fingers brush your clit. He pushes his thick length back inside you, drawing a long, breathy moan from you.
“You’re so beautiful, holy shit,” he breathes, his voice soft and whimpery now, a sharp contrast to the commanding devil who had you bent and folded just minutes ago. “I can’t... too much... mmm—you’re gonna make me c-come... fuck,” he groans, abruptly stopping his movements. He settles into the crook of your neck, his abs flexing so hard you feel it against your stomach as he fights to control himself. You can hear his heavy breathing in your ear, his heartbeat thumping against your skin.
“You good, baby?” you ask, kissing his cheek.
“Yeah, sorry, give me a sec. Shit... I… You... you’re just too beautiful.” He laughs, burying his face back into your neck.
You laugh with him, but he winces. “Don’t laugh, baby. You’re squeezing me—ahhh,” he warns as he pulls out but stays on top of you, kissing your neck and shoulders.
“You’re killing me… You have no idea…fuck. I’ve imagined this so many fucking times... I knew you’d be perfect—God, I knew, but you just feel too fucking good. Too good… I can’t—"
He cuts himself off and doesn't give you a chance to respond to his rambling confession. He catches your lips in a slow, intense kiss as he pushes his hard length back inside you.
He pounds into you with purpose—steady, deliberate, charged. His fullness overwhelms, filling you completely. Your legs wrap tight around his hips, anchoring him closer, while his hand rests at the base of your throat, tender, almost reverent. A cruel contrast to the way his pace quickens, more forceful now, relentless, and then—
You break.
So intense, no words come out of you. Only muffled cries, soft whimpers, and shudders. Your fingers claw at his back, his biceps, his shoulders.
“Come for me just like that.” he whispers as he continues to slam into you.
His release comes soon after, his body shaking as he comes while you squeeze around him, milking every single drop of him. His moans mingle with yours as he thrusts erratically.
In one last, deep push, you both collapse together, breathless and consumed.
Your brain shuts down for a moment, and you feel your body twitch. His body drapes over you, his weight grounding you, pulling you back from whatever dimensional plane you’ve drifted to.
“Fuck.” Was all you can say, still catching your breath.
He laughs softly, his body still pressed against yours. "Damn, I came so hard... holy shit," he murmurs against the crook of your neck, planting gentle kisses.
You kiss his cheek and trace imaginary maps on his back.
“How do you feel, baby? Hmm? Did you like it?” he teases, the playful grin evident in his voice.
Spent and still catching your breath, you just shrug, flashing him a sly smile.
“I think the neighbors know you liked it,” he chuckles.
You roll your eyes, playfully slapping his shoulder. “Yes, Jungkook, you fucked me too good. I fucking loved it. Can’t wait for more.”
He throws his head back and laughs. "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you. I didn’t think this through. I’m fucked.”
“No, I’m fucked.” You answer and you join his laugh.
After lying there for a while, he props himself up on his elbow. "Shower?"
You want to, but you're so spent.
“Give me a sec, please.”
He laughs softly, sitting on the bed as he gently fixes your messy hair. His gaze softens as he stares at you.
"You’re so beautiful. Too beautiful. I don’t know what to do with you. What do I do with you?" He chuckles, then takes your hand, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.
"Just hold me, don’t let me go." You smile softly, your fingertips grazing his beautiful face.
He catches your hand with both of his, holding it gently, with care.
“I remember the first time I saw you," he continues, the stars inside his eyes shining so brightly. "You looked so beautiful, I almost tripped over my own feet."
“Then you would've joined me, laying on the floor full of dirt in the hallway," you laughed at the memory.
He shakes his head, grinning. "No, that wasn’t the first time I saw you."
“What?" you sit up.
“You bumped into me in the parking lot. You were holding a small box with your coffee maker in it…”
A small smile tugs at his lips. “You were wearing a white top and jeans. You said ‘sorry’ without even looking at me, but…” He pauses, as if savoring the memory.
“I noticed how tightly you clung to that box, your eyes scanning the building from a distance, like you had everything you needed right there in your hands. You looked like someone from a movie… brave, bold, standing tall, ready to take on whatever came next. I’ve never seen anyone so small next to a building, and yet so impossibly big.”
His gaze meets yours. “You had this fire in your eyes, so full of life. From that moment on, I could only look at you with respect and admiration.”
He laughs softly, fiddling with your fingers. “I wanted to be wherever you were. You’re amazing, YN. I hope you see yourself the way I see you. Powerful…and beautiful. I could go on forever…”
Waves of emotions crash over you, spilling into the corners of your eyes. You look at him—really look at him—and you see him.
The first time you really took a good look at his face was when you bumped into him on the staircase, just before your tangerines went tumbling down. That was when you first noticed his dark brown eyes, wide and pure, but given the chaos of the moment, you chalked it up to his overall handsomeness.
Then you get to know him.
The first time you saw his eyes, his dark brown eyes, you noticed how they gleamed in the light, like soft stars scattered across the night sky, and in the dark, they sparkled with an infinite depth, as if they contained a universe light years and light years away… It was impossible to comprehend how one person could hold the vastness of a galaxy, all within the depth of his gaze.
Maybe the reason his eyes are so big and round is to see the good in people more clearly. And maybe they’re that way so others can see the fullness of his love.
His love is patient. His love is kind. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.
He smiles at you, the kind that crinkles his nose and creases his eyes.
The smile that exudes the carefree spirit of a boy with the quiet wisdom of a man.
His hair, a little longer now, falls in unruly waves, as if it can’t decide whether to be straight or wavy. It mirrors the turmoil in your thoughts, torn between being lost in the beauty of him or leaning in and being lost to the pull of his kiss.
“I love you,” you say, sincere and sure.
His smile blooms in his eyes before it reaches his lips.
He gives you a chaste kiss, tender and lingering. And as your lips part, he whispers,
“I love you.”
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a/n: guys, we reached the end?! wuuut??? i really wanted this story to be comforting. i hope it comforts you the way it comforted me while i was writing this. i think this jungkook is my favorite. i even teared up a bit (ok fine i sobbed) when i wrote the last parts lol. thank you all so much for reading until the end. i’m very grateful for the support, kind words, and interactions. to think i only started posting last month? i'm so grateful to have found this community. i hope you're all doing well. i love you all. <3
if you enjoyed this mini-series, please don’t hesitate to >hitmeup and let me know what you liked and how you enjoyed it, or whatever it is you want to talk about.
your feedback helps me know the types of stories or writing you'd like to see in the future. much love! <3
-🐙
taglist: @goldietigers294 @ericawantstoescape @kyljjk @daskewl @the-immortal-dreamer @vantelover1306 @pitchblack0309
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273 notes · View notes
obeythebutler · 10 months ago
Note
For the fluff prompt, may I please have Lucifer and "making funny faces behind the computer while the other one is in a boring Zoom meeting" with Mc being the other one???
It starts small.
The most insignificant of details that the eye won't catch at first glance, but the brain notices something is amiss.
For starters, the pair of spectacles Lucifer always dons is sitting on his desk. You swear he was wearing them just a moment before—your eyebrows furrow—but then you divert your attention back to the screen. The demon continues with his paperwork.
End semester projects require regular progress checks. Your group members are done informing the professor of their progress, now it is your turn to speak up.
"We are done with our research," You say, involuntarily straightening your posture. "We have encountered several problems while trying to know more about the economic practices of the Devildom in the year 1121. Astarion and I have gathered what we could find and compiled it in the document attached in our recent email to you."
"And what is to be done next?" The demon asks.
Magoth speaks up, and you take the moment to grab the bottle of water next to you. You open the cap and take a sip, eyes darting behind the screen.
"We have already verified it from—"
You choke on the liquid in your throat.
Several voices of concern chime in through your speakers as you hack and cough. Hurriedly wiping your mouth, you splutter and blurt out words of assurance. The talking resumes, and your brain can't believe what it saw.
Lucifer, pouting as he stares into his phone, the device outstretched in his left hand. Puckered lips and and all.
"Don't." You mouth the words at the demon, who smirks and raises an eyebrow in challenge.
"This project will be submitted by the end of next month," You pipe in, voice confident of your group's ability to meet deadlines. "There's a survey also planned for extra credit, and Astarion has already formulated the questions."
"Very good! Ah, that reminds me, I've made a new email id—please mail me your survey results on..............."
You make the mistake of glancing at Lucifer.
You have to resist the urge to smile after.
He's winking at you now, comically so, and the demon looks ridiculous.
You mute your mic, and let yourself giggle. "Lucifer," You whine, "I'm in a meeting!"
"Can't I have a little fun now and then?" He says, picking up his pen again. "Besides, you should be focused on the meeting, and not on external variables."
You glare at the demon.
"MC?" Magoth chimes. "Are you trying to say something? Your mic's on mute."
You force yourself to make a polite smile. "Everything's alright! Just a little disturbance. Please, carry on."
You lean back on your chair. The sound of pen scribbling on paper makes for a suitable background noise, and you finally focus on the meeting being held.
You assume the demon has finally calmed down on his rare antics.
Progress is made, conclusions revised, and the meeting is wrapped up in the next twenty minutes.
You close your laptop after, and nearly jump in your seat.
Because there is Lucifer, eyebrows furrowed and a hand grabbing his chin. Lower lip being bitten by his teeth.
This time, you let yourself laugh freely.
503 notes · View notes
wonder-innie · 4 months ago
Text
magic, blood and lies (tvdu)
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vampire!jay x witch!reader (the vampire diaries universe)
— ; A year ago, you discovered you were a witch, and your grandmother taught you that vampires are dangerous monsters. Now, on your first day at university, you meet Jay, a mysterious guy who questions everything you thought you knew.
word count: 7k
t.w: alcohol, death, heeseung is a jerk, harry potter and twilight references. lmk if i forgot smth
—> how does the vampire diaries universe work?
a.n: english is not my first language. check my masterlist.
a.n 2: i may do a part 2 if you guys like this :)
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It was the first week of September, marking the beginning of your first year in college. You were excited to say the least, you have always dreamed of living the typical university life; hanging out with your friends, fraternity parties, going out with the hottest guys on campus and stuff like that.
Your roommate, Samantha, seemed fine, she was the same age as you and was very friendly to you when you introduced yourself. Of course, the first thing you did when you met Sam was give her a hand shake. As a witch, you could realize if the person you were touching was either a vampire, a human or even a witch like you.
You found out you were a witch last year when you accidentally caused a fire at a pool party. Ever since then, your grandma has been teaching you how to control your magic. The lessons started with simple spells, such as a locating spell. Your grandma insisted that one of the first things you should learn was how to defend yourself against a vampire, knowing that vampires often force witches to obey them.
You woke up early in the morning, you checked your phone to take a look at your timetable. You had Economics class in a few hours, so you proceed to do your morning routine; brushing your teeth, having breakfast and taking a shower. Once you were out of the shower and finished drying your hair, you used your hands to wipe the fogged-up bathroom mirror to see your face. It was your first day, you wanted to be beautiful as hell, so you started putting on makeup.
The first thing you saw as you opened the door was Samantha, your roommate, laying on her bed while scrolling through social media.
“Good morning, Sam” you greeted her as you walked to your closet.
“Morning, Y/N, how did you sleep?” she sat down on her bed and put her phone down
“Like a baby, these beds are great” you replied while taking off a few shirts from your closet, not looking at her.
“Yeah, I could tell you loved them; you snored all night,” she said with a playful tone. You stopped what you were doing and covered your face with your hands, trying to hide how red your cheeks had turned. She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just messing with you, you don’t snore, thank God.”
You had a chit chat with her as you both were getting ready for class. Eventually, she went to the bathroom and you headed to the classroom. You thought you were so lucky to have a roommate like Samantha, she was cool.
When you arrived at the classroom, you saw that only a few desks were occupied. You didn’t want to sit in the back, but you didn’t want to be in the front row either, so you decided to sit in the middle, in the only empty row.
You watched as the seats gradually filled up over time. There were five minutes left before the class started—in fact, the professor had already arrived—and yet the seat to your right remained empty. It caught your attention because you didn’t think a subject like Economics would have any empty seats.
However, it didn’t take long before someone sat down next to you. You turned your head and locked eyes with a black-haired boy you had never seen before, someone who looked like he’d been sculpted by the gods. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, and apparently, neither could he. You stayed like that for a few seconds… in silence. Until the boy decided to break it.
“Hello… my name is Jay” he said with a shy smile on his face.
“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you” you replied, also with a shy smile.
He opened his mouth to say something, but the professor cut him off by starting the class. You both turned your heads to the professor. You quickly took out your laptop and started taking notes, and so did Jay.
The class was… not what you expected. It was boring as hell. You were interested in the topic he was teaching; the problem was how he was teaching it. On top of that, he spoke in such a low tone of voice that it felt like he wanted his students to fall asleep during his class.
At some point you got distracted and, because of that, you lost the string of what he was saying. When you tried to get back to taking notes you weren’t able to understand, since it was related to what he explained during the time you got distracted.
You sighed before looking at Jay; he never stopped taking notes. “Jay…” you murmured in the lowest tone possible. He tilted his head to face you. “Would you mind showing me your screen for a sec?” He didn’t hesitate to turn his laptop in your direction so you could copy his notes. “Thanks”
“It’s nothing,” he responded. You noticed he was staring at you as you were writing down his notes. You finished quickly.
As the class ended, you packed your things, feeling the relief of finally escaping. Jay, however, stayed seated, watching you with a smirk as you slung your bag over your shoulder.
“Hey,” he called, stopping you just before you stepped into the aisle. “Got a sec?”
You glanced down at him, one brow arched. “What is it, Jay?”
He leaned back in his chair, spinning his pen between his fingers. “How about you give me your number?”
Your lips curved into a smirk. “My number? For what, exactly?”
“To return the favor,” he said smoothly, tapping the edge of his laptop. “You know, for letting you copy my notes today. Seems fair, right?”
You gave him a look, not missing the way his eyes gleamed with playful confidence. “Hmm, sounds less like returning a favor and more like you’re finding an excuse to talk to me.”
Jay’s grin widened, clearly enjoying your response. “Caught me. Guilty as charged,” he admitted without missing a beat. “But hey, I figure someone like you might be worth chatting with outside this horrible class.”
You didn’t hesitate this time, pulling out your phone with a shrug. “Fair enough,” you said, typing your number into his contact screen before handing it back.
“Done,” he said, glancing at his phone to check your name. Jay stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder as if this whole interaction had been the most natural thing in the world. “See you next time, then. And don’t worry, I’m not much of a spammer, unless I get bored.”
He gave you a wink before strolling out of the classroom.
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Later that night, you were brushing your teeth, thinking about Jay. You liked guys who took the initiative, and he was also handsome as hell. He hadn’t texted you yet. You weren’t dying for a text, but still, you wanted to know more about him. You thought about searching for him on social media; however, you only knew his first name, and it was a common one, so it was going to be hard to find him on Instagram. That’s when you decided to ask Samantha to help you get his last name.
You heard Samantha yell, “Found it!” Oh, that was faster than you expected. You left the bathroom and sat next to her. “I found him on your class list. His last name is Park.”
You grabbed your phone and started searching for Jay Park on Instagram. You visited a few profiles before finally finding his account. He had posted a few pictures of himself at the beach, at the gym, and at parties.
“Girl, he’s so handsome. Check his stories,” Samantha said, leaning over your shoulder.
You tapped on the highlight named “bros,” and as you were scrolling through the stories, you saw one of Jay with another guy on a yacht.
“Oh my god, look at his friend. He’s way hotter,” Samantha chuckled. She was literally all about boys. Luckily, Jay had tagged his friend in the story, so Samantha didn’t hesitate to grab her own phone and follow him. His name was Lee Heeseung.
A few hours later, Samantha fell asleep in her bed and you were on yours, still stalking Jay. You noticed something, in every picture he was wearing the same ring, maybe it had a special meaning to him… or something like that. You checked your timetable, you only had Economics on Mondays and Fridays, meaning you wouldn’t see Jay until the end of the week unless you and him shared another class.
At that moment, you received a text. It was from Jay, greeting you and asking what you were doing.
“Not much, just about to sleep,” you replied casually.
His response came almost instantly. “Going to bed so soon? Making sure you won’t fall sleep in class again?.”
You chuckled, typing back, “I wasn’t that bad. Your notes were just too detailed, they knocked me out.”
Jay’s next message had you smiling. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Guess I’ll have to tone down my brilliance next time.”
“Or just get a louder voice,” you teased, feeling a little bolder.
“Ouch. Brutal,” he replied. “But fair. So, do we have any other classes together, or is it just Economics?” He send you a picture of his schedule
“Apparently just Economics, Mondays and Fridays,” you wrote back. “Why? Hoping I’ll help you stay awake in other classes too?”
“Maybe,” he replied, and you could almost hear the grin in his words. “I mean, it’s a solid setup. You get my notes; I get a decent excuse to stay awake. Win-win.”
“Wow, you’re really thinking this through,” you answered, amused.
“Always,” Jay texted back. “Anyway, let me know if you ever need more life-saving notes. I might ask for payment next time, though.”
“Payment?” you replied, raising an eyebrow. “What kind of payment?”
“You’ll see,” was all he said, leaving the conversation hanging with just enough intrigue to keep you curious.
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You spent the rest of the week texting with Jay. Eventually, you followed each other on Instagram—of course, you didn’t tell him you had stalked him. Even though your chats were never particularly deep, you felt surprisingly comfortable talking to him. He mentioned that he and Heeseung had been friends for a year. Speaking of which, Samantha had a date with Heeseung that Thursday.
You were lying on your bed, watching a movie on your laptop, when someone knocked on the door. Samantha hurried out of the bathroom and walked over to you. She was wearing a casual outfit—simple but effortlessly stylish. She had spent nearly an hour deciding what to wear, yet she somehow made it look like she had thrown it together in a minute.
“How do I look?” Samantha murmured, careful to keep her voice low so Heeseung wouldn’t hear.
You paused your movie and playfully scrunched up your nose in mock disapproval, making her look momentarily worried.
“I’m kidding! You look gorgeous. Now go open the door,” you said with a grin, pressing play to continue watching your movie.
She opened the door, and Heeseung greeted her with a warm smile. After they exchanged hellos, Heeseung raised his voice toward you.
“Y/N.”
You paused the movie again and looked at him.
“Jay sent you this,” he said, pulling a sleek, luxurious box from his jacket pocket.
You stood up and walked toward him, noticing that he didn’t step inside your dorm, even though he was talking to you.
You took the box from him. “Thanks. What is it?”
“I dunno, open it,” Heeseung said, looking intrigued.
You opened the box and… wow. You hadn’t expected such a beautiful bracelet. It had a charm that looked like silver. You took it out of the box and slipped it onto your left wrist.
“It looks gorgeous on you!” Samantha said with a smile.
“Giving you that bracelet so soon? Interesting…” Heeseung commented with a teasing tone.
“What’s with the bracelet?” you asked, glancing at him.
“You’ll find out sooner or later,” he said cryptically before turning toward the hallway. “You coming, Sam?”
Samantha closed the door behind her, and just like that, they were gone.
You looked down at the bracelet. You didn’t know why, but you had a bad feeling about this whole situation.
Shaking off the unease, you told yourself it was just a thoughtful gift from a cute guy at college. You texted Jay to thank him for the bracelet, and he replied almost instantly:
“Glad you liked it.”
A few seconds later, another text popped up:
“If you like it, you should wear it all the time. I bet it looks pretty on you.”
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You went to bed early, so you didn’t hear Samantha come back to the dorm.
Friday morning arrived, and you went about your usual routine. Standing in front of your closet, you spent a few minutes debating what to wear—you wanted to look good, confident, and just the right amount of irresistible for Jay.
As you were sifting through your options, Samantha walked in, practically glowing as she started gushing about her date with Heeseung.
“You should wear this shirt; it’ll look great on you,” she said, pulling out a shirt and holding it up for you.
You smiled at her suggestion. “Oh, by the way,” she continued, “Heeseung told me some of his friends are throwing a party tomorrow night. Wanna come? Jay’s gonna be there.”
“Sure, sounds fun,” you said, taking the shirt from her and slipping it on.
After finishing up and checking yourself in the mirror one last time, you headed to Economics class. You sat in the same spot as Monday, settling in and glancing around, but Jay wasn’t there yet. However, a few minutes later he arrived and sat next to you.
“Morning, Y/N, how are you?” he said with a smile on his face. God, he was so handsome.
“Oh, hi, Jay. Fine, you?”
“Same,” he replied casually. His eyes drifted to your wrist, noticing the bracelet he had given you. “It looks pretty on you.”
You tilted your head slightly, a playful smirk on your lips. “Does it look pretty on me, or I look pretty with it?”
Jay chuckled, leaning a little closer. “Maybe both,” he said smoothly, his grin growing wider.
You rolled your eyes as you bit your lower lip. You were going to answer him, but the professor started the class.
The class was proceeding as usual. During it, you could feel Jay glancing at you from time to time.
At one point, Jay leaned closer to your ear and whispered, “Are you going to the party tomorrow?” His voice took you by surprise, and for a moment, it sent a shiver down your spine.
“Yeah, Samantha told me you and Heeseung are going too,” you replied softly.
“That’s right. By the way, my favorite color is black,” he said with a sly smile before turning back to his laptop, thinking the conversation was over. But you weren’t done yet. Leaning closer to his ear, you whispered back:
“My favorite color is red.”
If he wanted you to wear black, he’d have to show up in red. You smirked to yourself and returned to taking notes as if nothing had happened.
The class finally came to an end, just as boring as the first one. You and Jay started putting your things away, still sitting in your chairs.
“So, I have to show up in red if I want to catch your attention, right?” he asked, a playful smile on his face.
“Yeah, and I have to show up in black to catch yours,” you replied, matching his teasing tone.
In that moment, your phone vibrated, so you quickly took it out of your pocket. It was a message from your mom. You unlocked your phone to reply but accidentally dropped it on the floor. You bent down to grab it, but Jay was faster.
“Be careful, if you break it, you won’t receive my texts,” he teased, leaning down to hand your phone back to you.
As you grabbed your phone, your fingers brushed against his. The moment your skin touched his, you felt it—a cold shiver ran through your body, like death itself had brushed past you. It was like darkness wrapped around you for a second. You let out a small gasp, a sound of discomfort you couldn’t hide.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Jay asked, his voice full of concern.
It couldn’t be real. Jay was… a vampire. Your new college crush was a freaking vampire. You’d spent the past week texting him, getting to know him, and now it all felt wrong.
“Ye-yeah… I have to go!” you stammered, your heart racing. Before he could say anything else, you quickly stood up and bolted for the door. You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t dare stop. Your mind was spinning, and you needed to get out of there.
In your rush, you didn’t notice Heeseung waiting outside, apparently for Jay. You bumped into him, and… it had to be a joke. Once again, that horrible feeling washed over you. You felt death crawl through your body.
“Watch where you’re…” Heeseung didn’t finish his sentence because this time, you just kept walking, nearly running.
Your heart was pounding, and you could barely catch your breath. So far, you’d met three people, and two of them turned out to be monsters.
In that moment you realize why Jay had the same ring in all of his pictures, it was a daylight ring, it allowed him to walk freely during the day.
What should you do? Go to the party and confront them? Pretend nothing happened? You had so many questions, and then you remembered that Samantha had gone on a date with Heeseung.
You ran back to your dorm and slammed the door open. “Samantha!” you shouted desperately. You shut the door behind you. She was lying on the bed, texting on her phone.
“I’m here! Don’t shout, it’s still early,” she said as she got up. “What happened?”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” You bombarded her with questions, scared of what Heeseung might have done to her.
“S-sure. What’s going on? You look like you saw a ghost.” You were pale, sweat running down your cheek from all the running. When she told you she was fine, you let out a sigh of relief.
You sat on your bed, trying to calm yourself down and think clearly about what to do. Right now, you needed to figure out how to get Samantha away from Heeseung without making her ask too many questions.
“Listen to me, you can’t keep seeing Heeseung.”
“What? Why?”
You weren’t great at lying, but you had to come up with something convincing for Sam’s sake.
“I heard he has a girlfriend. Seems like he’s cheating on her with multiple girls…” you saw how her expression changed form confusion and worry to fury.
“What?! That son of…”
She grabbed the pillow from her bed and threw it against the wall in frustration. She started yelling in anger, saying things you didn’t think a girl like her would ever say.
“You know what? We’re going to that party. I’m wearing the shortest dress I have, and I’m going to ignore him the whole night while he drools over me.”
“I don’t think going to the party is a good…” you were cut off by Samantha.
“We’re going, and that’s final!”
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You were sitting in the Uber with Samantha next to you, heading to the party. Jay had sent you a few messages since Friday’s class, but you didn’t even bother to open them.
As you looked out the car window, you got lost in your thoughts. Your grandma always told you that vampires were monsters—after all, they feed on innocent people. They could wipe out an entire town just for fun if they wanted to. Vampires are murderers.
But Jay seemed like a good person. He hadn’t done anything to hurt you. In fact, he even gave you a bracelet, which you were wearing at that moment. If Jay were truly evil, he would have attacked you by now. You had held onto that thought for the past two days.
Was it possible that good vampires existed? Vampires who didn’t kill? You were desperately trying to convince yourself that Jay wasn’t like the others. But that didn’t change the fact that he fed on people, probably killing them in the process.
Samantha was wearing a short red dress, while you had opted for a dark blue one. Of course, you weren’t going to wear black. You planned to ignore Jay the whole night and mind your own business.
When you arrived, you stepped out of the car and were greeted by the sight of a mansion packed with people. It was massive, with at least three floors. A few people were smoking and drinking on the porch. As you approached the entrance, the music grew louder and louder.
Once inside, you scanned the room for Jay. You needed to know where he was so you could avoid him. It didn’t take long to spot him—he had a beer in his hand and was chatting with a group of guys. He was wearing a red shirt, and it suited him almost too well. You recognized Heeseung among the group, also holding a beer.
At that moment, you and Jay locked eyes. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly looked away. “Let’s go get some drinks,” you said to Samantha, grabbing her arm.
You both headed toward what seemed to be the kitchen. Jay looked confused. Everything had been fine until Friday morning, but now you were ignoring him. He needed answers.
An hour later, you and Samantha were drinking jungle juice while dancing in the yard. The weather was nice, and the yard wasn’t as crowded as the house, making it the perfect spot. You were slightly worried about Samantha. You’d only had two glasses, but you’d lost count of hers after four. She seemed fine, though—at least, until she opened her mouth.
“I want to talk to Heeseung,” she said loudly so you could hear her over the music. “He deserves to be embarrassed in public. He’s an asshole.”
“Sam, don’t waste your precious time on him. He’s not worth it,” you said, praying she wouldn’t do anything stupid.
She sighed. “You’re right…”
Eventually, you needed to use the bathroom—you’d drunk too much. Samantha followed you back into the house to look for it. You asked a random guy for directions, and he pointed you upstairs.
As you were walking, you felt someone staring at you. Turning your head, you saw Jay watching you intently. He raised his hand to wave, but you quickly avoided his gaze again.
“I’ll wait outside to make sure no one comes in,” Samantha said as you entered the bathroom.
You peed quickly and washed your hands. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you noticed your makeup was still intact. You weren’t drunk, just in a “happier” mood.
Your phone vibrated as you were about to leave. It was a text from Jay: “Is everything okay?” You read the notification but didn’t open it. Instead, you deleted it.
When you stepped out, Samantha was nowhere to be found. She was way too drunk to be wandering around alone. You quickly texted her, “Where are you?” You hadn’t been gone long, so she couldn’t be far.
You began searching for her while waiting for a reply. After ten minutes of looking with no luck, you glanced in Jay’s direction, hoping Heeseung was still with him. But of course, he wasn’t.
If you were worried before, now you were terrified. What if Samantha was alone with Heeseung? You didn’t even want to think about it. You started asking people if they’d seen her, growing more desperate by the second.
“Y/N,” a familiar voice called from behind. You turned to see Jay. You didn’t want to talk to him, but he might be your only chance of finding Samantha.
“Are you done avoiding me?” he asked, stepping closer.
You moved toward him, now standing just inches apart. Looking directly into his eyes, you said, “Where is Samantha?!” Your tone was sharp, almost yelling.
Jay was taken aback. He’d been expecting an explanation for your behavior, not you screaming at him about your friend.
“Tell me where the fuck Heeseung took her, or I’ll drive a stake into your heart,” you spat.
His expression shifted to one of shock and confusion. Did he hear you right? How could you possibly know what he was? Then it clicked—this must be why you’d been avoiding him. Jay didn’t know how you’d figured it out, but he wanted to help.
“I think he took her to the last room upstairs. Seung always takes girls there,” Jay finally said, still stunned. “But don’t worry—he’s not going to hurt her.”
“I highly doubt that,” you muttered before turning and heading for the stairs. The second floor was much quieter than the first. The long hallway ahead was almost empty. Desperate, you sprinted to the last door.
It was locked.
Looking around to make sure no one was watching, you sighed. If you wanted to help Samantha, you had no choice but to use your magic. Placing a hand on the door, you concentrated.
“Dissera portus.”
You heard the lock click open and pushed the door without hesitation.
What you saw inside was horrifying. Heeseung had Samantha pinned against the wall, drinking blood straight from her neck. She wasn’t moving or making a sound—he must have compelled her.
“Let her go!” you screamed.
Heeseung stopped and turned to look at you, intrigued. “How did you get in? I’m sure I locked the door.” He wiped the blood from his lips with his sleeve, completely unbothered by what he was doing.
You glared at him, rage boiling in your veins. “Let. Her. Go.”
He laughed at your words. "Here's the thing. I'd compel you to forget this ever happened, but Jay gave you that." He pointed at your bracelet. "So this is what we're gonna do: I'll give you five seconds to turn around, leave, and find Jay.
"Or what?" you asked in a challenging tone.
"I'm gonna kill you," he said like it was nothing.
He raised his hand and began counting.
With each number, he lowered a finger. "One, two, thr-"
He didn't finish. You were already casting a stern gaze at him, using the Pain Infliction spell, one of the first spells you learned. It wasn't verbal but still powerful, causing his blood vessels to burst and inflicting unbearable pain.
Heeseung screamed, clutching his head as if it would split open. "Fuck!" he yelled, falling to the floor and writhing in agony.
Samantha stood frozen, tears streaming down her face, utterly speechless. She didn't know what was happening-only that she wanted to leave.
"You shouldn't have messed with one of my friends, Heeseung," you said, stepping closer without breaking your concentration. "Burn in hell, vampire. Incendia!"
Flames ignited at his feet and rapidly climbed his legs. He frantically patted at the fire, but his efforts were useless.
"Stop!" Jay's voice cut through the chaos. He appeared behind you in an instant, his speed unmatched. "Please... He's out of control, but I can help him."
"He's a vampire," you spat. "He won't stop killing as long as he's alive. He has to die."
Jay realized words wouldn't sway you.
He looked at you, then at his friend, who was still thrashing on the ground. The fire had reached Heeseung's hips, and his screams were becoming weaker.
"I hope this works," Jay muttered to himself before using his speed to move to Heeseung. In one swift motion, he grabbed his friend's head with both hands and snapped his neck.
You froze. You knew snapping his neck wouldn't truly kill him-he'd recover within hours.
"Wha-"
"I'll make sure he's punished for hurting your friend," Jay said, turning to you, desperation etched on his face. "But please... don't kill him."
What were you supposed to do? Stop the spell and trust Jay? Attack him the same way you attacked Heeseung?
You looked at Jay, searching his eyes for answers. Something about him made you pause. Against your better judgment, you felt you could trust him.
Raising your right hand toward Heeseung, you whispered, "Suctus Incendia." The flames disappeared instantly.
"Thank you," Jay said softly.
You didn’t answer him. You ran to Samantha and hugged her. Her cry became louder as she left tears in your shoulder. You to patted her head hoping it would help her calm down.
“I… I can help you” Jay said as he approached to you. He rolled up his sleeves and bit his own wrist. “You’ll heal faster if you drink my blood”
You broke the hug and Samantha looked at you, waiting for your approval. You nodded your head and Jay leaned his hand, Samantha drank the blood from his wrist and in a matter of seconds, the bite mark Heeseung left in her neck disappeared.
After that you both headed to the exit. “Thank you, Jay” you said before closing the door of the bedroom.
————————-
You practically had to drag Samantha to her bed since she was in a total state of shock. Once she was lying down, you went to her closet, took out her pajamas, and handed them to her. After that, you gave her a glass of water.
“How are you feeling?” you asked as you sat at the edge of the bed, near her feet, which were covered by the sheets.
“I—I don’t know…” she stammered, her voice shaky. “I’m afraid, I—I’m confused.” She sighed deeply, her eyes welling with tears. “Vampires exist… Heeseung and Jay were vampires, and… and you…” She looked at you with a mix of fear and curiosity. “What are you exactly?”
“I’m… a witch,” you admitted, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “I don’t use my magic to hurt people.” You reached out and gently held her hand. “You’re safe with me, I promise.”
Sam took a small sip of water, her trembling hands barely steady enough to hold the glass. The room fell silent for a few minutes. Neither of you knew what to say or do.
Samantha sat there, gripping the glass of water so tightly her knuckles turned white. Her breathing grew uneven, and you could see the weight of everything she had just witnessed crashing down on her.
“I… I could have died,” she whispered, her voice trembling. Her words were barely audible, but the fear laced in them was undeniable. She placed the glass shakily on the nightstand and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. “Heeseung—he could have killed me. If you weren’t there…” Her voice cracked as she trailed off.
You stayed quiet, allowing her to let it out.
“And Jay… he didn’t even care. He was protecting that monster! What if they come back? What if more of them come after me?” Samantha’s breathing quickened, and her hands started shaking. “I’m not safe. Vampires exist, and God knows what else! Demons? Werewolves? What if this is just the beginning?”
She buried her face in her hands, trying to muffle the soft, panicked sobs that began escaping her.
“Samantha…” you said gently, moving closer.
“I’m just human,” she continued, her voice muffled. “I can’t do anything. I’m not strong like you, I don’t have magic to protect myself… I don’t even know how to fight!” She looked up at you, her face pale and tear-streaked. “How do I live like this? How do I go back to normal knowing there are monsters out there?”
You felt your heart sink. Samantha’s words cut through you, and you realized the full weight of what she was saying. This knowledge, this world she was pulled into, was tearing her apart.
You reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Sam,” you said softly, your voice steady. “You don’t have to worry. I will protect you.”
She shook her head. “You can’t always be there, Y/N. And what happens next time? Or the time after that?” Her voice cracked again. “I don’t want to live in fear.”
You didn’t know what to say. For the first time, you realized that the truth—the world you lived in—was too much for her. It wasn’t fair to expect her to carry this burden.
You took a deep breath, your decision forming in the silence. There was a way to help her, to give her back the peace she so desperately needed. But it wasn’t a choice you made lightly.
Samantha sniffled, wiping her face with her sleeve. “I trust you, Y/N. I do. But this… this is too much for me.”
“I know,” you said softly. Your voice wavered, but you kept going. “I can fix this, Sam. I can make it so you don’t have to feel this way anymore. So you can be free from this.”
She blinked, confused. “What do you mean?”
You hesitated, guilt already weighing on your chest. “I know someone who can make you forget this ever happened,” you said softly. “But before I call him, I need to know if you’re okay with it. Are you in?”
Samantha stared at her hands, her voice trembling. “Forget? Like… completely? Everything about tonight?”
You nodded. “Yes. All of it. But only if you want to.”
She took a shaky breath and looked up at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Call him, please.”
You gave her a reassuring nod, though the knot in your stomach tightened. Pulling out your phone, you quickly dialed the number of the one person who could help.
As you waited for him to answer the call, you walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind you. He didn’t keep you waiting for long.
“Y/N! I was just about to—”
“Jay, I need your help,” you interrupted, keeping your voice low so Samantha wouldn’t hear his name. You knew it would terrify her.
“S-Sure, what happened?”
“I need you to compel Samantha. Make her forget about tonight. Can… can you do that?”
There was a brief pause on the other end before he responded. “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay, thanks,” you murmured, ending the call. You took a moment to collect yourself before stepping out of the bathroom and back into the room.
“He’s coming,” you said gently to Samantha as you sat beside her. “He’ll be here soon.”
A few minutes later, Samantha went to the bathroom. For the first time that night, you had a moment to yourself, a moment to think. You sighed deeply, tilting your head back to stare at the ceiling.
Jay… Tonight, he showed you he’s not like other vampires. He could’ve attacked you from behind to save his friend, but instead, he tried to reason with you and even healed Samantha.
Your gaze shifted to the bracelet on your wrist. Heeseung had said he couldn’t compel you because of it. You figured it must contain vervain—the only thing that makes humans immune to compulsion. But you were a witch; compulsion didn’t work on witches, so you didn’t really need it.
A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. It must be Jay. Samantha was still in the bathroom. You stood up and went to open it. Sure enough, when you did, there he was.
“Hi… again,” Jay said, his voice soft, almost shy.
“Hello, Jay,” you replied briskly.
For a few moments, the two of you stood in silence, staring at each other. Then, he offered you a small, shy smile, his lips pressed together.
“Uhm… could you invite me in?” he asked hesitantly.
You’d forgotten—you needed to invite vampires into a private space before they could enter. You hesitated, knowing that once invited, Jay could come and go as he pleased. He could kill you while you were asleep. Or even right now, the moment you let him in.
But… you trusted him.
“Come on in, Jay.”
“Thanks,” he said, stepping across the threshold.
At that moment, Samantha came out of the bathroom, she froze when she saw Jay, fear flashing in her eyes. She clutched the bathroom doorframe, her voice shaky. “Y/N… w-why is he here?”
You quickly stepped toward her. “Sam, it’s okay. He’s not here to hurt you. I promise.”
Her eyes darted to Jay, who raised his hands in a gesture of peace. “I understand you’re scared,” Jay said gently. “But I’m here to help, not hurt you.”
“He healed you earlier,” you reminded her firmly. “If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t even be standing. Trust me, Sam. He’s not like Heeseung.”
Samantha hesitated, glancing between you and Jay, before finally nodding. “Okay… I’ll try.”
You guided her to sit on the couch. “This will all be over soon, I promise.”
You took off your bracelet and placed it on the table next to the couch. Jay’s eyes followed the movement, and for a brief moment, you noticed a flicker of hurt in his expression.
“Please compel her to never take off the bracelet,” you said softly.
Jay nodded, sitting down next to Samantha. He looked her directly in the eyes, his voice calm and steady. “You won’t remember anything from tonight. You decided to stay home and watch a movie. You’ll put on the bracelet and never take it off, no matter what. After that, you’ll go to bed and sleep peacefully.”
A few seconds later, Samantha picked up the bracelet, slipped it onto her wrist, and walked to her bed, falling asleep almost immediately.
“Thank you… it means a lot” you said
“Don’t thank me. It was the least I could do after what Heeseung did to her.” Jay paused, running a hand through his hair. “But… it wasn’t entirely his fault.” He sighed deeply. “He was turned into a vampire a few weeks ago. At first, he was doing fine. I taught him how to resist the urges, how to survive on blood bags without hurting anyone. But… last week, his father died.” His voice softened. “He couldn’t handle the pain of losing him, so he flipped his humanity switch. He thought shutting off his emotions would be better than feeling the grief.”
As Jay spoke, his sadness was palpable. It was strange seeing a vampire care so deeply about someone else, about doing the right thing. It challenged everything you thought you knew about them.
“Heeseung isn’t evil,” Jay continued. “Not really. Vampires… we’re not all monsters. Some of us try to be better.” He hesitated, looking at you as if to gauge your reaction. “I don’t feed on humans. Blood bags are enough for me. I made that choice a long time ago.”
Hearing that caught you off guard. For so long, vampires had been nothing but a danger to you and the people you cared about. But Jay… he wasn’t like the others. He didn’t embrace the darkness that came with his nature. Instead, he fought it. And that, more than anything, made you feel something stir inside you.
Jay and you stepped out into the aisle just outside your dorm. The cool night air brushed past as you faced each other in silence. You carefully closed the door behind you, making sure not to make any noise that could wake Samantha.
“You didn’t have to come tonight,” you said quietly. “You could’ve just… stayed out of it.”
He smiled faintly, almost shyly. “I couldn’t let Samantha suffer for something she didn’t deserve. And I couldn’t let you deal with it alone.”
Your heart softened at his words, though you refused to let it show too much. “You’re… not what I expected,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Neither are you, Hermione Granger,” he teased, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
You chuckled, shaking your head. “Oh, shut up, Edward Cullen.”
Jay laughed, the sound warm and genuine. “Touché.”
There was a brief pause, comfortable yet charged with unspoken feelings. He tilted his head slightly and gave you a crooked smile. “So… I have to ask, after tonight… are you going to keep ghosting me, or are you finally going to answer my texts?”
You let out another soft chuckle, raising an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know… texting is kind of boring. When are you going to ask me out already?”
His smirk widened, and for a moment, he looked caught off guard, but not in a bad way. “Guess I’ll have to fix that soon, huh?”
“You’d better,” you said lightly, though your heart raced at the prospect.
Jay’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his usual confidence tempered with something gentler. “I will,” he promised, his tone quiet but resolute.
Jay nodded, his playful smirk still lingering. “Well, I guess I should let you get some sleep,” he said, glancing at the door behind you.
“Yeah, it’s been… a night,” you replied, the weight of everything settling in.
He took a step back, his expression softening just slightly. “Take care of yourself,” he said, his voice quieter now.
You gave him a small nod. “I will. Thanks, Jay.”
He flashed you one last smile. “Goodnight, Hermione,” he teased, his voice low and light.
“Goodnight, Edward,” you replied, the corner of your lips lifting as you shook your head.
Jay turned and walked away, his silhouette disappearing down the quiet street. You stayed there for a moment longer, watching him leave, before turning back toward your dorm, feeling the lingering energy of the night slowly fading into the quiet.
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jamespotterismydaddy · 1 year ago
Text
Academic Rivals
michael gavey x reader
summary: a partner project in the library leads to heightened emotions
A/N: a request from my dearest belie boo! hope you enjoy @valeskafics !!
TW: smut!, semi-public sex, degradation, hate-fucking, misogyny, michael is a little perv actually
word count: 1,788 words
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You despise Michael Gavey. The smug bastard sits right next to you in history and the two of you constantly compete for top of the class. You’ll be the first one to admit that he’d have you beat in any math class but history is yours. The worst part of it is that your professor encourages the rivalry, insisting that it’s ‘healthy competition’. Which is why you’re currently (very apprehensively) making your way to the library to work on your partnered essay with Michael.
You don’t want to make it easy on him though so you strut in, ten minutes late with an iced coffee in your hand. You’re dressed in a sweater and a very short plaid skirt with black thigh highs that just reach under the hem of it. His eyes glance over you almost too quickly, like he’s trying to avoid your gaze.
“You’re late.” He says while looking at his notes.
“This part of the library wasn’t easy to find.” You look around and there isn’t a single person in your line of sight. “Maybe that’s why it’s so dead in here.”
He scoffs. “Or perhaps you’re late because you stopped to get overpriced coffee on the way. Whatever you’re drinking is more sugar than coffee anyhow.”
“So hateful today.” I tease.
“If you spent more time focusing on punctuality then I wouldn’t need to be.” He says pompously. “Get out your notes. I need your contributions for the analysis of economics during the 18th century.”
“In a moment.” You say as you pull out your compact mirror instead of your notes so you can check your hair. You don’t particularly care how it looks at the moment but you know your primping will piss him off.
“Did you even do your research or were you too focused with your own vanity to get the work done?” He asks in a snarky tone and your eyes dart up to meet his.
“Just because I enjoy putting an effort into looking good doesn’t mean i’m an airhead. Of course I did my research.” You say with a roll of your pretty eyes. Michael thinks you look particularly pretty when you’re angry.
“How should I have known any different? You spend more time worrying about getting attention than your studies. It’s pathetic really. You have so much potential, yet you let your feminine interests dominate you.” He says with a mock look of pity.
“Oh you poor thing. If my ‘feminine interests’ seem to dominate my life then why do I have the highest mark in our class? Shouldn’t you have the highest mark if you dedicate all your time to your studies?” You give him a sweet little smile and he is mortified at the way it makes his cock harden.
“History is hardly my top priority when i’m in much more academically challenging classes and I was top of the class last week so it won’t be long before I overtake you again anyhow.” He tries to act nonchalant but you can tell your words got to him.
“It’s probably difficult for you to do as well as you could when you spend most of the class staring at me.” You say and feel a sense of accomplishment when his cheeks turn crimson red.
“I only look at you because you spend all class talking and giving your half-brained takes on the French Revolution.” He retorts but his words are a little clumsy.
“Then why are you blushing?” 
“It’s hot in here.” He says firmly.
“It is a little hot in here.” Your tone is casual but he can sense the mischief in your voice. His eyes widen as you shrug off your sweater to reveal a tight, white camisole underneath and because it isn’t really that warm in the library, your nipples harden under the garment and they poke through the fabric. “Something wrong, Michael?” You ask sweetly, noticing how his eyes are glued to your perky tits.
“No, of course not.” He answers too quickly and you smirk at him.
You stand up and walk over to his side of the table and sit on it right next to him, so your thigh could almost brush his arm. He can now clearly see the lacy hem off your stockings. “You’re so flustered. It’s pathetic.” You say a little cruelly and he stands abruptly, his chair almost tipping back.
“You’re a bitch.” He spits back at you.
“That’s no way to speak to a woman, Gavey. What would your mother think?”
He just glares at you for a moment and you can’t tell if it’s hate or lust burning in his eyes. You realize quickly that it’s the latter when he grips the back of your hair and forces your mouth to his. Michael presses himself against you and you can feel how painfully hard he is in his trousers as he kisses you roughly. You hate to say that you kiss back, enjoying how sloppy and inexperienced he is, although full of emotion.
He parts his mouth from yours but stays slotted between your thighs. He looks almost nervous, like he half expects you to slap him and leave. He’s fucking delighted when you roll your hips gently against his instead. The math nerd has never touched a woman before but he’s more than ready to grasp the opportunity. He slips both his hands right up your top and groans when he feels your soft tits. He massages them and you whine, lifting your shirt for him so he can see exactly what he’s doing.
“Oh, God.” He murmurs as he rolls your nipples between his fingers.
“Have you ever been within two feet of a woman?” You ask him with a cruel little smirk but then you squeak as he pinches your nipple hard. “Ow! Fuck, Michael.” You whine.
“You fucking slut.” He murmurs and you can’t tell if it’s a term of endearment or just plain old misogyny. “Always have some bratty little remark to say.”
Your eyes glaze over a little and you pout at the way he looks at you. You would never think that a virgin could act so dominant.
He looks like he’s fighting some conflict in his mind before he speaks. “Now, you’re going to take your underwear off and bend over the table… then i’m going to fuck you.” He says it like it’s a command but it’s almost as if he’s trying to breathe a dream into reality. When you obey him, his eyes widen and he begins to make quick work on the removal of his belt. He can hardly believe that a woman as hot as you just listened to him, that a woman who seems to despise him with every inch of her being has just bent over a table, waiting to be fucked by him.
He lifts up your skirt, feeling more bricked than he’s ever been as he rubs his hand over your ass. He gives a firm slap to your right cheek just to see how you’d react and he’s pleased when you whimper. Michael runs his fingers through your folds as he finally releases his cock from his pants. He pumps himself as he rubs you, enjoying how wet you are, knowing it means you like it.
“Jesus, Michael, are you gonna stand there all day or are you going to fuck me?” You barely manage to get the question out when he decides to slam himself, balls deep, inside of you. You whine out as you try to get used to how big he is. You really didn’t expect him to be so hung.
All he can do is think to himself, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum. As he tries to block out the sound of your voice so he doesn’t spill himself inside you prematurely.
“Michael…” You whimper out, not even knowing why you’re saying his name.
“Shut the fuck up.” He murmurs before beginning to move himself in and out of you. “Little fucking brat, thinking you’re smarter than me.” He starts to thrust harder. “I’m the smartest person in this entire fucking school.”
His cock is slamming in and out of you at this point and all you can do is let out little moans from how roughly he’s treating you.
“Say it. Say i’m the smartest person in the school.”
“Fuck you, asshole.” You manage to groan out from under him.
He grins. “That’s my job.” Michael may have never had sex before this but he sure as hell knows how the woman’s body works. So, his fingers snake around your front so he can roll your clit between his fingers. You let out a strangled gasp. “Say it. Now.”
“You’re the… smartest… person… in the school.” He punctuates your words with his thrusts as his hips slam against yours, making you stutter at every other word.
“Good girl.” He says smugly.
You give him no warning when you cum and the way your pussy squeezes and convulses around his cock almost makes him fall to his knees and pray to God in thanks. He cums instantly after you, not having the self control to hold it back anymore and not having the will to pull out as he spills deep inside of you.
He now fully contextualizes the fact that, no matter if it’s a deserted section, the two of you are still in the library. He pulls himself out quickly and you whine at the abruptness of it all as he swiftly begins to clothe himself.
“Get dressed!” He urges but you can hardly do more than lie there after being fucked so hard.
You move slowly as you pull up your panties and fix your skirt and top, your thigh-highs looking rumpled.
“We’re going to be expelled!” He panics as he kneels down to straighten up your thigh-highs for you.
“Nobody saw and there’s no cameras in here.” You say as you manage to pull yourself together enough to roll your eyes.
“T-This is your fault!” He exclaims.
Post-nut spiralling i guess.
“My fault?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Yes, it's your fault! You seduced me!” He gets his things together, his face one shade off of a tomato.
“Then it won’t happen again.” You say simply. His face drops.
“Whatever.” He seems to have calmed down a bit, slightly irritated by your words.
You sigh and decide that it’s best to leave while you’re ahead.
“Goodbye, Michael.” You say in a sing-songy tone as you strut away, now leaving him as the dazed one.
“B-But we didn’t start the essay!” Is all he can get out before you turn around the corner and out of his sight.
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howlingday · 6 months ago
Note
So funny idea I told Fatallyobsessed.
What if Opzin hired Kali to be a communication and home etc professor at Beacon?
Like to teach them how to take care of themselves and how to deal with civilians in the field. I'm sure they learned medical practice at Prep school.
I just saw that. And yeah, I think it would be a pretty neat skill to learn. Actually, I recently learned some things about baking and cooking that I think might make these classes all the more useful to up and coming huntresses and huntsmen. Now, where did I put that Culinary Doctorate degree...?
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Prof. Kali
With a recent decline in White Fang activity globally, Ozpin had decided to reach out to any friends left in Menagerie for assistance with his school. As it turned out, one of the best chefs on the island micro-nation was none other than the chieftain's wife, Kali Belladonna. Ghira was worried about her leaving, just as any husband would, but she eased his fears that she would stay safe enough to keep in touch.
The interview was a breeze to get through as she was a certified chef, baker, and cook. She knew the right ingredient to use as an alternative when a student had an allergy, what sorts of proteins and minerals were required to keep a huntsman functioning, and had proven to be impeccable at time management, cooking for the staff at Beacon to prove her skill. Ozpin offered the job and added a bonus if she helped in the cafeteria, too.
Starting her first day in the middle of the school year put her a little on edge, but she steeled herself as she stepped into her classroom, ready to help these students become self-sufficient monster hunters. Honestly, the only thing she didn't prepare for was-
"Blake?!" Her daughter was powerless to stop Kali from wrapping herself around her. "Oh, my baby girl, you're okay~!"
"M-Mom..." Blake gently pushed her off. "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?" Kali parroted. "What are you doing here?"
"I... I'm attending Beacon." Blake answered. "I... left and-"
"It's okay, sweetheart." Kali held her hand up. "We can talk after. For now, take your seat while everyone else is coming in."
"What?" Blake blinked, watching as her mother quickly walked away and shouted to students as they were coming in.
"Come in, come in! Everyone, take a seat~!" Kali made it to the board and began drawing her name on the board. "I am Professor Kali Belladonna, and I will be your Home Economics instructor at Beacon Academy."
"Wait, like Blake Belladonna?" A blonde girl asked, sitting next to her daughter.
"Yes, Blake is my daughter, but that doesn't mean she, or any of her teammates can slack off on their assignments." She rounded the desk and looked around at her class. "Home Economics is a class for preparing young students like yourselves for the real world."
"The one filled with Grimm?" A girl with orange hair asked.
"Yes, and who's going to fill your bellies while you fight those Grimm? Because let me give you a spoiler warning; it's not going to be your mother, your father, or your teachers."
"What about our butlers?" A girl with black hair with red tips asked, raising her hand that was swiftly brought down by a girl with white hair.
Kali giggled. "Do you really think you're rich enough to have butlers? Maybe if you're the head of the Schnee Dust Company, but last I checked, Jacques Schnee had no interest in being a huntsman." The girl with white hair blushed at the comment, angrily glaring at the girl next to her. "How many of you know how to cook already?"
A few hands went up. A boy with long, dark hair, another boy with blond hair and blue eyes, and a girl with long, blonde hair and a cheeky grin. Kali nodded, since this was at least two more than she expected. She quirked a brow, though.
"Blake, I thought I raised you better." The class laughed at the tease, earning a blush from her daughter. "But life does happen. It can get in the way of us sitting down to a good meal, which robs us of our energy, which makes it harder for us to fight, which makes us hungrier, which takes away more energy, and so on and so on until..." She held out her hands. "You know what happens if a huntress can't fight."
Kali snapped her finger. "Pop quiz!" The class groaned. "Who knows what tryptophan is?" A girl with red hair raised her hand. "Yes, Pyrrha Nikos!" The girl blinked, suddenly off-put by the address of her full name. "I saw your fights when I was cooking dinner one day. Sorry. Do you know what tryptophan is?"
"It's the chemical in turkey that makes you tired, isn't it?" Pyrrha answered.
"Isn't it? Yes, it is!" Kali giggled. "But that's only if you eat about eight pounds of it. Like, say, at a big banquet to celebrate human and faunus unity?"
"I can eat that." The orange-haired girl commented.
"So can my husband!" Kali laughed, getting a laugh from some of her students. "Now, what fruits should you avoid after taking heart medicine?" The students shared a confused look. "It's tricky, isn't it? Anyone want to guess?"
"Apples?" The blond boy offered.
"Bzzt! Nope!" Kali giggled. "Anyone else? No?" She shrugged. "The answer is grapefruits, though you should also avoid limes, pomelos, and certain oranges. These fruits contain a chemical called furanocoumarins, which causes your heart to slow down and stop as a reaction to the medication." The young girl with silver eyes gaped in amazement as her mind was blown. "Knowing the specifics of what you put in your body can mean the difference between life and death."
"Um, Mrs. Belladonna?"
"Yes, Blake?"
"What... exactly is the lesson plan?"
"I was getting to that. Thank you, Blake." She wasn't. The truth was that she was so excited to share fun facts that she was about to spend an entire class pop-quizzing kids on food trivia. Thankfully, her daughter was here to stop her, just like her father would when she'd talk her guests ear off about food back in Menagerie. "Starting tomorrow, you will all be assigned to complete a recipe. You will go to the market in your free time and look for the best prices for your recipe. By the end of this week, I should have the recipes. By the end of next week, you should have the real thing sitting in front of you, ready for taste-testing. Failure to provide will result in F for the assignment."
Reaching into the desk, Kali hefted a stack of books. "These will be your textbooks. We will go ever each chapter, learn what we need you to learn, and then apply what was taught into your skills." She walked around, placing books in front of students as she passed. "Failure to bring your book won't be a failure, but it will be noted. Are there any questions?" The classroom was silent. "Good. Now, open your books to page..."
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"Mom?"
"Hi, Blake." Kali greeted from outside the dorm. "Can we talk?"
"Um, sure." Blake stepped out, standing by her mother. "Is everything alright?"
"I don't know. You tell me." Blake felt a chill up her spine. "The first time I see you years and it's at a huntsman academy? What is going on? What happened to you being in..." She looked around. "You know?"
"I... I left." Blake answered.
"And... you're not going back?"
"No! And I'm here because..." Blake looked uneasy. "Because it was the safest place and I thought that I could make up for what I did in the- There, here."
"Oh, Blake..." Kali hugged her only daughter. "I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. And I'm so... proud of you."
"Proud of me? But I... I was-"
"You were." Kali nodded. "And it took some time, but you finally got enough sense to see things the same way your father did, and now you're doing the same thing he's doing."
"...Running away?" Blake winced.
"Making up for it." Kali held Blake's hands. "You saw what horrible things Sienna and Adam were doing, so now you're trying to make up for what you've done by becoming a huntress."
"But... isn't that selfish?"
"Kitten, I am holding hands and hugging a student, both of which are against Beacon staff policy. Do you think I'm selfish for wanting to hold my daughter?"
"...Would I be wrong for saying no?"
"No, but I would still be wrong because what I'm doing is selfish. But enough about right and wrong, selfish or brave- show me, your mother, where you're living!"
"But Mom-"
"Professor Belladonna."
"Professor Belladonna, what about the... Beacon staff policy?"
"I'm sure they'll make an exception for the hugging. And as for me coming in, I'll just say it was a late-night inspection. I have heard a few things about what your team has been getting up to."
Blake shrunk a little. "Well, okay..." She then opened the door, bringing her mother into her new life.
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sh0jun · 8 months ago
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Ikemen Sengoku Modern AU
Boys as various university professors or teachers--
I'm not elaborating it much for now
Maybe there would be updates idk--
Oda forces
→ Nobunaga Oda (Academic Head/Economics teacher)
He's gonna have a separate drawer in his office FILLED with candies
That drawer has a lock on it all the time (he doesn't want Hideyoshi to find out about it)
→ Hideyoshi Toyotomi (history teacher)
Really looks up to the department head
Very patient with all the students and will help each and every single one of them :)
You'd see him in the halls A LOT
so be careful. If you get caught breaking the rules you WILL be lectured by him
He keeps a check on every teacher's health too- also he would tell you to take it easy if he sees that you're not well
Also pretty good at giving motivational speech
→ Mitsuhide Akechi (computer science)
Okay hear me out. This man will be GOOD with computers and technology.
The event stories prove it
He's the teacher you'll go to every time there's something wrong with your iPad
And he WILL tease you endlessly
→ Mitsunari Ishida (Maths teacher)
For obvious reasons.
Our clumsy but very smart angel.
He'll be very kind. And calmly teach you if you're having trouble with a math problem no matter how many times you come to him
But no matter what you do, you won't be able to get his attention if he's reading
The janitor has caught him several times in the library reading books in a secluded corner when it's late in the night
Librarians sometimes have to kick him out
→ Masamune Date (food tech)
Yes.
I think it's self explanatory (I don't have anything to say about him I'm sorry-)
You'd always. ALWAYS. catch him at the farmers market.
→ Ieyasu Tokugawa (Biology/ chemistry teacher)
Yes.
He knows his stuff when it comes to plant and medicine
He'd be very cranky if you come to his with a question but he will answer it in full detail
He does NOT like the math teacher
The math teacher and the physics teacher seem to constantly fawn over him which he does not enjoy.
→ Keiji Maeda (Drama/music teacher)
Pretty self explanatory this one.
He and the literature teacher are good friends :3
Best friends in fact.
He's the cheery teacher. Very enthusiastic.
→ Ranmaru Mori (teacher assistant)
The principal's assistant to be more specific
Running around doing errands for Nobunaga. Looks very cute and is very helpful
The students love him
Kasugayama forces
→ Kenshin Uesugi (specialist PE teacher/sports department head)
Martial arts. Fencing. Horse riding. Swimming. Sword fighting. You name it
This guys knows EVERYTHING
he trains students in these sports for competitions.
The group sports activities go to the other gym teacher
Very cold. And seems very rude and icy. But will teach you if you ask for his help
Also do NOT expect him to go easy on you
It's your first time learning judo? Will TOO bad. You will be thoroughly beaten up by this guy
→Shingen Takeda (DT/department head)
The hot teacher who's at the carpentry workshop
Many students attend the workshop JUST to see him
Very nice. Flirt to everything that breathes
Loves sweets just like the academics Department head.
But doesn't like Nobunaga at all
→Yukimura Sanada (PE teacher)
The worst PE teacher you'll ever have 💀
Doesn't know how to talk to students or teachers which result in him getting some pretty snarky comments
Is in charge of preparing sports teams for sports competitions
Does not like Kenshin's guys but has to put up with them
He's best friends with the physics teacher and they sometimes show experiments together (yuki is the lab rat of course)
→Sasuke Sarutoki (Physics teacher)
That fun physics teacher that shows experiments in the class
Uses memes in his lectures
All his lectures are extremely fun
The students are often confused as to how does he always has a straight face
The PE teacher is his guinea pig at times
The sports department head has some beef with him for some reason
→ Yoshimoto Imagawa (Arts teacher)
The guy LOVES art and appreciates it to his fullest
This job was MEANT for him
Will appreciate your art and also give you pointers if you ask for it
Very charming
Students fawn over him
Has a very soothing voice along with a pretty face
→ Kanetsugu Naoe (Literature teacher)
Teaches English along with Japanese
Very strict
He's pretty and has little fangs but the students are afraid of him
A very good teacher
But also does some very strict marking in tests
Do not try to fight with him cause he will point out all the grammatic errors
Lone forces
→ Kicho (linguistics teacher)
Teaches other foreign languages
Like French, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, German, arabic, Russian. You name it.
This guy is a genius
He and the computer tech teacher are cousins
Seems very tired always (cough blackholes cough)
→ Motonari Mouri (portugese teacher)
Yes.
No comment on him.
Those who know him well will probably get it.
Will teach you every single curse word there is >:D
→ Kennyo (History teacher/ religious studies)
He does not like how modern studies are taking over
No phones allowed in his class
Very calm but also hella intimidating
Uhhh- does not put up well with the Computer tech teacher's antiques
Usually eats alone outside with cats.
Animals love him <3
Mai
→ Mai Mitsuzaki (Textiles teacher)
Das right. Mah girl gets her own category
The most fashionable teacher on campus
Everyone loves her
Shingen, Masa and she are the DT trio
Will teach you all there is to know about clothes and fashion
Designs the best clothes
She should be a designer.
Tags: cause idk who wants to be tagged--
@ikesenanigans (we came up with these together<3)
@rubia8 @bakersgrief @nightvers @ginshoujo @y2ashlee
UHHHH IDK WHO ELSE :(
Anyways Enjoy :D
This is my first hc that i wrote--
Leave in the comments whatever else you want to add? Idk how this works bro- ( -̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ )
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kyufessions · 2 years ago
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downpour
synopsis: your boyfriend picks you up after your class
pairings: non-idol, boyfriend! intak x g.n. reader
genre: fluff
word count: 1.4k
a/n: intak 🥹 our favorite golden retriever. also, not proof read as of yet, too tired lmao. italics are text messages from intak. (requested here.)
general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois
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the one time you decide to not check the weather it begins to downpour during your economics class. every day you stay on top of the weather, especially since nowadays it seems to become more and more unpredictable. but today, of course, you went with your gut. and oh how wrong it was. you didn’t even have to look outside a window to know it was raining- the aggressive patter of raindrops were telling enough against the college building.
as your professor finished up the lesson early due to the weather, you quickly searched your bag for an emergency umbrella but to no avail. sighing, and mentally cursing yourself, you pull out your phone to check when the rain would stop. luckily enough, you noticed a string of text messages from your boyfriend that you assume he sent during your class.
i hope class is going okay <3
oh shit it’s raining. did you bring an umbrella?
i’ll pick you up after class, text me when you get out!
♥️ see you soon
smiling at the messages, you quickly call him as you swing your bag over your shoulder. within a few seconds, he answers with an excited tone.
“your uber driver has arrived in parking lot B.” the smile was evident in his voice, the thought of it bringing butterflies to your stomach.
“thank you, baby.” you say before hanging up to
scurry towards the exit to get back home for the day. you felt bad that intak drove all the way back to campus after leaving only two hours ago from his own classes, but at the same time you felt extremely grateful. if it weren’t for him you’d either have to get soaked taking the bus or take a thirty five dollar uber- both options not necessarily being of interest for you.
just as you approached the glass double doors, you notice intak’s red car in the pick up and drop off center of the parking lot. smiling foolishly at the sight of your boyfriend tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, you quickly run to his car with your jacket over your head. as the door opens up, intak jumps at the sudden noise and puts his hand over his heart for dramatics.
“hey baby!” you spoke, turning your head in his direction and smiling innocently at his heightened state. a small fit of laughter leaves your lips as you bring your hand up to cup his cheek, pecking his lips quickly before putting on your seatbelt. “thanks for picking me up, you didn’t have to.”
“it’s pouring outside, i wasn’t going to let you get soaked getting home. besides,” he starts pulling off, starting down the road towards your place. “i’m your boyfriend. it’s my duty to take care of you.”
you give him a look, a smirk playing across your lips as you lay your wet jean jacket across your lap to start drying off a bit. “i can take care of myself.” you respond in a teasing tone, your eyes admiring the way he looks behind the wheel. he might’ve just gotten his license a month ago, but he definitely didn’t drive like it. you felt safe when he was behind the wheel, despite him being a new driver.
he puffs out his cheeks as hd turns a corner, being careful on the wet roads as the rain continues on. “i know, but i love taking care of my baby.” as he hits a stop sign he quickly moves his hand from the wheel to your face, squeezing your cheeks as he quickly pecks your lips over and over before a car beeps at him from behind. “i’ll take care of you as long as you allow me to.”
inside your apartment were you, intak, and a mini fort built from couch cushions and any and all blankets available. originally, he was going to come in for a late lunch and head home. but as the weather got worse and thunder started to roar in the distance, you both decided it was best if he stayed the night. so within the past few hours, you’ve both made dinner and cuddled underneath the fort with food, snacks, and in matching pajamas you kept in a separate drawer for whenever he stayed over.
a few weeks ago you both had started a new kdrama called It’s Okay Not to be Okay. it’s quite depressing, but the storyline is beautiful and definitely keeps you both interested. thanks to the growing storm outside, you’re nearly close to finishing the show and are almost done with your milkshakes and popcorn- the ramen long gone at this point.
intak’s head propped up on your thigh as you ran your fingers through his hair as your other hand held on the edge of the popcorn bowl to periodically grab some. gasps and mumbled comments could be heard from him every few minutes, along with little giggles when the main characters would get close to kissing or getting together.
“i’m glad we didn’t take this long to get together.” intak says, his tone playful as he leans his head fully back to look up at you.
“yeah, because you made it obvious from the start.” you replied, smiling down at the boy below you. the way his hair was fading into a dark golden blonde made your heart flutter more than ever before, the color suiting his skin tone perfectly and making him appear more luminous than ever before.
intak noticed the sparkle in your eye whenever you looked at him, the sight never failing to upturn the corner of his lips even just the tiniest bit. “i did not.” a pause. he starts thinking for a moment. “did i?” he looks at you with wide curious eyes- eyes he knows you love.
you nod, a smile breaking out. “i’m glad you did though, i would’ve been too scared to make the first move.”
“why?”
you think for a moment before deciding to respond. in hindsight, you didn’t have anything to be scared of when it came to intak. he was so loving, so caring, so attentive. and he knew how to make someone feel comfortable around him. but truth be told, his beauty and demeanor can come across as intimidating at first. he’s so bubbly, so smiley. and everyone loved him. not that you yourself weren’t lovable but to an extent, you felt like you had to meet his standards to surpass them in order to even be considered as his partner. but you were wrong; he proved that.
playing with his waves, you lean down and plant a kiss on his lips. whenever your lips met his, as cliche as it sounded, sparks flew as if it were the fourth of july. everything felt right. the time, the place, the way your lips synced up together- perfection. nothing ever felt awkward between you two, even from the first meeting.
heart pounding, intak kisses back without hesitation and brings his hand up to your face and begins rubbing circles into the apple of your cheek. as you pull away, he swipes away an eyelash and admires your features for the hundredth time that day. no flaw could ever be detected from you- he truly thought of you as an angel. “i love you.” he admitted, the words spilling from his lips. your eyes widened for a second, taken aback by the sudden confession. “you don’t have to love me back, but just know i love y-“
“i love you too, intak.” you respond, cheeks heating up from this moment. suddenly the thunder sounded like birds chirping, and the grey skies were a clear sky blue with no clouds in sight as the sun became brightly visible. everything felt right- everything felt perfect.
melting into his touch, you place a soft kiss to the side of his palm before responding to his previous question. “you intimidated me at first.”
shooting up from his comfortable place on your lap, you watch his movements as he shuffled onto his knees to be eye level with you. “me? why?” the disbelief and curiosity was evident in his voice, making you chuckle at his cute reaction.
you shrug, unsure of why you even thought so in the first place. “i guess because of how outgoing you are? and pretty. you’re very pretty, baby.” you sit up on your knees and wrap your arms around his neck, placing a quick kiss to his forehead before laying your head on his shoulder. “not anymore though. now i just think of you as my annoying and dorky boyfriend.”
wrapping his arms around your waist as he laughs, he starts rocking you both back and forth as the rain continues to downpour outside. maybe, just maybe, the weather should become more unpredictable more often.
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kookooluvr · 3 months ago
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Teach Me How To Love - Part 5
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pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers
genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.
summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.
rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
word count: 16k
warnings: the gang all head off to jeju, jk and oc have a little moment on the plane, jk's secret playlist for oc, jk and oc share a room thanks to tae, he gets hard from a few smoochies, oc finds out what jk said about her back when they met, some jealousy, she takes a step back before taking a step forward, some wholesome vibes, lots of yearning, cuddles, oc has a few realisations, volleyball on the beach, HANA AGAIN (she's a warning all on her own), very minor ankle injury, mentions of oc's past heartbreak, some angst + fluff on the beach, explicit sexual content; making out, shower sex, fingering (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex (oc's on the pill you know the drill), a brief description of fluffy morning sex, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), sleepy missionary sex, overall fluffy ending.
author's note: i just want to thank you all for all the love and support this story has gotten so far, i love and appreciate you all so so much !!! i really hope you enjoy part 5 (this is a lengthy one ladies and gentlemen so be prepared) and please don't be shy to share your thoughts because i love hearing them okay bye 🫶🏼🫶🏼
taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @livinluvl @chxiosworld @mimi1097 @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth @chimmisbae @daskewl @ramyun-h @heyitsroshni @matryoshka-poetry @almatiarau @ambiee3 @gukkie7
find tmhtl masterlist here
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Today is just not your day. No, there wasn't an earthquake or a massive flood (it's far less dramatic than that) but more so minor inconveniences continuously piling up. For starters, Miso threw up on your bed, which was a fantastic start to the morning. You checked to make sure it wasn't anything serious, but it turns out she just had a hairball. Typical. Then there was an accident on the road around 10am, so you were stuck in traffic while taking Miso over to Jihyo's place where she'll be staying for the next few days. On top of that, you can't find your phone charger or your headphones and Jungkook is currently on his way to your apartment to pick you up to go to the airport, giving you very little time to get your shit together.
Mai and Namjoon and the rest of Jungkook's friends are all at the airport already, waiting for the flight which is set to leave at 2pm to take you all from Seoul to Jeju. Mai has been texting you nonstop to confirm that you're still going, and at one point you weren't sure if you should follow through, but you just couldn't disappoint her. The two of you are already becoming fast friends, and she seems pretty excited to have you come along with all of them. What's the harm in joining Jungkook and his friends on a three-day trip?
You're frantically checking to make sure you haven't forgotten to pack anything important, when your phone buzzes, signalling a text from Jungkook letting you know he's on his way up to your apartment. Well...fuck it. If you forgot anything, it's too late to stress about it now.
You scurry to make sure you have all your skincare products and toiletries before quickly zipping up your luggage. Minutes later there's a knock on your door, so you roll your suitcase to the living room and open the front door, feeling your stomach flip at the sight of him. He ditched his usual button-up shirt and slacks for a casual golfer and jeans, the denim hugging his thighs just right, the shirt's short sleeves showing off his thick biceps. His hair is styled a little messily, paired with his favourite black sunglasses. He looks like the lead role out of a rom-com, and that's not just because you're ovulating. Damn, maybe today is your day after all.
"Hey," he smiles, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head to push back his hair. "You all set?"
"Yeah, let me just get my suitcase-"
"Lemme get that for you."
You reach for the handle of your suitcase, but he stops you and quickly gets it before you do. You have no problem carrying your own bags or rolling around a heavy suitcase, but Jungkook wouldn't be Jungkook if he wasn't a true gentleman, so you let him do it because you know he's just going to insist anyway.
"Oh, uhm, thanks," you murmur, watching his arm flex as he carries your suitcase out the apartment, giving you a chance to lock the door.
"It's no problem," he shrugs, flashing you a smile. The two of you walk to the elevators, going downstairs to his car in the parking lot. He unlocks the car and puts your suitcase next to his in the trunk, opening your door for you before making his way over to the driver's seat, the engine roaring to life.
The drive to the airport is a short one, but you use your time wisely, stealing little glances while he's not looking, taking in the way his muscles flex under his skin, the way his hair blows in the light breeze of the air conditioner, the way his skin glows under the summer sun. He's a gorgeous man, and you could stare at him for hours, but you mentally remind yourself to look away every time your thoughts get a little too carried away or the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings just a little too hard. He's not your boyfriend, and a three-day trip with him and his friends won't change that, even if your brain and your heart have been having a few disagreements about that lately.
"So...you ready for Jeju?" He asks, snapping you out of your daze.
"Yeah, the weather should be nice," you murmur, looking out the window as the other cars pass by.
"I hope you didn't feel obligated to come, y'know. I know Mai can be a bit pushy at times but she means well," he mutters, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him as he drives.
"No, no, I'm happy to come," you murmur. "I mean...I was pretty drunk when she initially invited me, so obviously I wasn't going to say no, but it's a free vacation. What type of person would I be to complain about that?"
You had insisted on paying for your own plane ticket to Jeju, but Mai just wasn't having any of that. She graciously offered to pay for your ticket because she invited you a bit last minute. You could have managed, but as Jungkook says, Mai can be a bit pushy. Not that you mind, you've actually started growing quite fond of her since you met that night at the club.
He glances over at you for a moment, then reluctantly looks away. He wishes he wasn't driving so that he could just keep staring. A few moments pass in comfortable silence before he speaks, his voice soft and contemplative. "I really am glad you decided to join."
You look over at him, a faint smile gracing your face. "Why? Because otherwise you'd have to use your hand instead of me?"
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "No," he mutters, trying to sound annoyed but failing as a hint of amusement creeps onto his face. "Because I really enjoy your company, ___."
You try to remind yourself why you set so many rules and boundaries between the two of you, but you can barely hear your brain over the loud chattering of your heart. "Yeah...me too," you murmur softly, looking back out the window for the rest of the drive. This trip is surely going to be a test of your self-restraint, that's for sure.
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At the airport, the two of you meet the rest of his friends, getting a tight hug from an excited Mai, hearing Namjoon chuckle at his fiancée's enthusiasm.
"Mai, c'mon, you're suffocating her," Jungkook jokes, greeting the rest of his friends with a pat on their back. Everyone is excited to get to Jeju, a few of them already talking about going down to the beach once they land. It'll be a nice get-away from the concrete jungle that is Seoul.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ___," she chuckles, pulling away to go and stand next to Namjoon, looking like a puppy being taken on a walk. "I'm just so happy we're all together."
"It's okay," you murmur with a smile. "Thank you again for inviting me, Mai."
"Of course! You're Jungkook's friend, so you're our friend now too."
Her words bring a strange, warm feeling to your chest. You've only ever had a handful of friends in your life, Jihyo being your right-hand woman. You're so used to keeping people at arm's length, so to have his friends be so willing to accept you into their friend group is new, and just slightly intimidating.
Everyone hangs out in the waiting area until it's time for the flight. Jisoo and Seokjin have a little argument about whether he turned the stove off before they left the house, Namjoon and Mai discuss everything they want the group to do in Jeju, while Hoseok, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin are already thinking about what's for dinner tonight.
Much to Jungkook's dismay, Hana is here as well, so he quickly goes to sit with you before she can start up a conversation with him. She watches the way he not so subtly flirts with you, the way you try to act indifferent, despite the occasional chuckle you let out at one of his dumb jokes. It makes her blood boil.
Hana's not an idiot. She knows something is going on between the two of you, but she also knows that Jungkook would be showing you off if you were his girlfriend. She can't figure out exactly what it is you two have going on, but she doesn't like it. On the plane, she finds it annoying that he insists on putting your suitcase up in the overhead compartment for you, and she mentally rolls her eyes when he sits next to you, leaving her to sit next to Hoseok and Yoongi.
Jungkook on the other hand is quite happy to be seated next to you, after subtly shoving Taehyung out of that seat, leaving his friend to sit in the next row. Not that Taehyung minds, he'll anyway just end up texting a certain friend of yours throughout the flight, which he spent all of last night doing as well.
"I made this new playlist on Spotify," Jungkook quips as he gets his phone out, putting one of his earphones in before holding the other one out for you. "Wanna hear?"
You move closer and place the earphone in your ear with a smile, looking down at his phone to see the title ___'s playlist on the screen. That was definitely not meant for your eyes. At least not yet.
"Hey, what's that?" you ask, but he quickly scrolls past it before you can get a proper look at it.
"Hm? Oh no, that's nothing. Here it is," he mutters quickly, his movements a bit panicked as he clicks on a playlist called Jeju Summer. You'll have to ask him about that other playlist another time. He hits play and the first song is by Beabadoobee, causing your eyebrows to raise in surprise.
"I didn't know you listened to Beabadoobee," you chuckle.
"What, are you making fun of me?" he asks with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow.
"No, of course not. I love her, I just wouldn't have pegged you to listen to this sorta music, that's all."
"Well...maybe you have a few more things to learn about me, Professor," he teases, looking over at you with a soft smile, the catchy melody playing through his earphones.
The songs play one by one, some a bit slower than others, causing your eyes to slowly fall closed, your head lowering to rest on his shoulder. The weight of your head on his shoulder brings a smile to his face, his head resting against yours for the remainder of the flight. He scrolls back to the playlist he made for you and hits play, letting out a soft sigh as 'The Only Exception' by Paramore starts to play. The playlist isn't finished yet, but he hopes to gain the courage to show it to you some day.
Hana watches the exchange from her seat, mentally cursing you. She has no claim over Jungkook, but that doesn't make it sting any less, and if her eyes were daggers, you'd be dead by now. She has to force herself to look away from the two of you, her face growing hot with jealousy. She can't quite remember why she even wanted to come on this trip in the first place.
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Once the group arrives in Jeju, everyone splits into separate groups to go over to Mai's family's beach house. Seokjin, Jisoo, Namjoon and Mai share a car, while Yoongi, Hoseok, Hana and Jimin all drive together, leaving you, Jungkook and Taehyung to drive together in the third car.
Jungkook packs everyone's luggage in the trunk of the rental car and gets the engine running. You sit in the passenger seat, leaving Taehyung to sit on the back seat. It's a beautiful day in Jeju, the waves crashing as you all drive down the scenic route. Jungkook occasionally steals glances at you while he drives, causing Taehyung to stifle a big grin. He can't tell if you're oblivious to his friend's obvious affection toward you, or if you're just choosing to ignore it. Either way, it's quite amusing for him to witness first hand.
"I wonder how many rooms there are at this house," Taehyung mumbles, looking out at the view. "I'm sure a few people will have to share, huh?"
"Well, obviously each couple will share a room," Jungkook murmurs.
"Right...Joon and Mai, Jin and Jisoo, you and-"
"Wow! Look at that view!" Jungkook interjects before he can go any further, shooting his friend a narrow-eyed look in the rear-view mirror, Taehyung pretending to seal his lips. The rest of the drive is filled with the soft sounds of the radio playing, paired with the sounds and smell of the ocean outside.
It's a thirty-minute drive before you all get to the beach house. Jungkook pulls up into the driveway and gets out, going around to open your door for you. Once you get out the car, your eyes widen in awe of the stunning house. It's a big two-story home with six bedrooms, large windows and the beach right at its feet. Some of the others are already there, Jisoo and Mai already setting up and unpacking the groceries in the kitchen.
You, Jungkook and Taehyung get your luggage from the trunk and make your way inside. Mai makes sure to give you a little tour of the house while the others chat in the kitchen, showing you around the bottom and top floor to make sure you know where everything is. Once everyone has arrived at the house, the group gathers in the living room, getting comfortable to decide who's taking what room.
"We hope you all don't mind but Mai and I will be taking the master bedroom," Namjoon grins, already heading upstairs to take their luggage to their room, the one with a king-sized bed and a gorgeous view of the beach, leaving everyone else to decide on their rooms. Seokjin and Jisoo get the second biggest bedroom, the one upstairs with a queen-sized bed and a big tub in the en-suite. Hoseok suggests him and Yoongi share one of the bedrooms with two single beds, and he accepts, mainly because he could care less where he sleeps.
As everyone begins to pair off for the remainder of the rooms, the reality of the situation slowly starts to sink in. There are five people left, and only three more rooms.
"Jimin and I will share a room," Taehyung calls out, shooting Jungkook a look, subtly gesturing over to you with his eyes. He knows his friend wants to share a room with you, better yet, he knows his friend does not want to share a room with Hana.
"___, you're new to the group. You should get your own room," Mai suggests.
Dammit Mai.
Jungkook looks over at you, swallowing thickly at the thought of having to share the last room with Hana, who happens to be visibly pleased.
"I think that's a great idea!" Hana quips with a sly grin. "Kookie and I can share, and his friend can have her own room. I mean, who doesn't want their own room, right, ___?"
"Oh, uhhh..." You don't quite know what to say. You glance over at Jungkook, his eyes boring a hole through you, practically begging you to decline. You're a guest in Mai's family's home, so you should probably just take what you get, even if the thought of Jungkook and Hana sleeping in a bed together makes your stomach turn.
"Hana, why don't you take the single room instead?" Taehyung blurts out with a sickeningly sweet smile, causing Hana to whip her head in his direction. "___ is Jungkook's friend so I think it would only make sense for them to share a room. You said it yourself; who doesn't want their own room...right?"
Hana's eyes dart between you and Jungkook, her jaw clenching. She had clearly hoped to get a room with Jungkook in hopes of getting closer to him, but with everyone's expectant eyes on her, Taehyung leaves her no choice. She forces a smile and pretends to be thrilled about having her own room for these next three days.
"Yeah, perfect," she mutters through gritted teeth.
Jungkook keeps his expression schooled, even as his heart bangs against his ribcage. The two of you will be sharing a room. He shoots Taehyung a grateful smile, silently thanking his friend for doing what he couldn't do. Internally, he's ecstatic, but externally he remains nonchalant. He knows you still have your boundaries and your rules and all that, so he leans over to whisper in your ear from his seat on the arm of the couch, making sure no one else can hear. "Are you okay with this?"
You turn your head to look up at him, your heart racing at the thought of sharing a room with him for three days. You're not sure if it's nerves or excitement, but you nod and give him a faint smile. Some rules are meant to be broken on vacation anyway.
He mirrors your smile, his eyes having a hard time looking away from your face. "It's fine with us," he announces, standing up to grab your luggage and take it to the room.
You follow him to your room and gently close the door behind you, your eyes trailing over the double bed you'll be sharing. The room itself is quite spacious with a big window, allowing the late afternoon sea breeze to travel inside. There is an en-suite bathroom and a waterfall shower, but all you can think about is that bed and what might happen in it in the nights to come.
You both start unpacking, the room slowly starting to feel like your own, your skincare products placed neatly on the bathroom counter, your clothing hanging in the shared closet. You hang up the last of your clothing while Jungkook goes to sit at the edge of the bed, watching you with a faint smile on his face.
"You sure you're okay with us sharing a room? Because I can sleep on the couch in the living room if you-"
"Don't be ridiculous," you chuckle, walking over to stand between his thighs, your hands on your hips. "I'm not letting you sleep on the couch on vacation. You'd probably just end up complaining about a crick in your neck and I don't wanna have that on my conscience."
He lets out a huff of laughter, shaking his head in amusement. "I guess you're right, yeah."
His laughter dies down, his face softening into a smile, his big brown eyes staring up at you, his hands reaching out to trail up your thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles over the fabric of your leggings. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Jungkook, I'm okay."
"Can I get a kiss to prove it?" he whispers, staring up at you like he's been dying to ask since he picked you up from your apartment.
You let out a soft scoff and lean down to cup his face in your hands, leaning in to press a soft peck to his lips.
"Another one please," he whispers, his lips just millimetres from yours, his big brown eyes pleading as he stares up at you. You smile and close the gap, pressing another kiss to his lips, this one lasting slightly longer.
"One more."
"You're greedy."
"For you, yes."
You're about to respond, when there's a knock at the door, causing you to jolt up straight, backing away from him to avoid getting caught by any of his friends. "Come in!"
Jisoo peeks her head in, completely oblivious to the moment you had going on. "Hey, we're getting started on dinner, okay? It shouldn't be long."
"Thanks, Soo," Jungkook murmurs, standing up to subtly adjust his jeans, his back turned to her.
As soon as Jisoo leaves and the door closes, your eyes trail down to see Jungkook's situation, a little chuckle bubbling up your throat.
"Are you seriously hard from a few kisses?"
"Shut up, your kisses feel good, okay?" he mumbles, a faint pout on his lips.
You bite your lip to hold back the smile spreading across your face, his words sending a rush of pride through your chest. You glance over at the bathroom door before grabbing some underwear and a flowy dress from the closet to wear to dinner. "I'm gonna go take a shower before dinner, okay?"
"Yeah," he nods, his eyes growing wide as you turn around and press one last kiss to his lips before disappearing into the en-suite, the bathroom door shutting behind you.
Jungkook plops down onto the bed with his arms splayed out, a big grin spread across his face as he stares up at the ceiling. A few kisses and he's putty in your hands.
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The smell of food fills your nose as you leave the room for dinner, the others coming in and out of the kitchen. Jisoo sets the table while Seokjin and Yoongi finish up on dinner, with the others hanging out in the living room. You want to make yourself useful in any way that you can, so you go to the kitchen to check if anyone needs any help.
"___, can you help me set the table?" Jisoo asks, handing you a few plates.
You get to work, placing a plate at each place setting while she adds the utensils and the glasses. She doesn't seem to talk much, which is quite the opposite of Mai, which is probably why they're best friends. They balance each other out. That seems to be the case for Jungkook's entire friend group. Each person has their person who seems to balance out their personality. Yoongi has Hoseok, Jisoo has Mai and Mai has Namjoon, and so on. This leaves you questioning who your person is. Maybe it's the man who can't seem to keep his big brown eyes off of you for more than a few seconds at a time as he attempts to stay focused on his conversation with Hoseok and Namjoon.
"You know," Jisoo murmurs, keeping her eyes down as she gently places the utensils next to each plate. "You must be really special for Jungkook to bring you around."
Her words puzzle you. "How so?"
She looks over at you, a soft smile spreading across her face. "You're the first woman Jungkook's ever introduced us to. Even if you are just his friend...you must be a very special friend."
You look down at the stack of plates in your hands, her words ringing through your head. "I suppose so..."
As if on cue, Jungkook walks into the dining room, slowly rounding the table to get to you, placing a gentle hand on your lower back. "Need any help?"
"I think we can manage," you murmur softly, looking up into his eyes.
Jisoo looks between the two of you with a knowing smile, leaving to get the salads from the kitchen. She knows that look, the way you look at him. It's the same look she used to give Seokjin in university, the look she still gives him even after three kids. She doesn't know you that well yet, but she has a sneaky suspicion she'll be seeing a lot more of you.
Everyone eventually sits down for dinner, Jungkook sitting on your left and Mai on your right. The atmosphere around the table is bubbly, everyone chatting and discussing their plans for the next two days in Jeju.
"We're so playing volleyball tomorrow," Hoseok announces. "Everyone in?"
"Soo and I will be sitting this one out," Seokjin murmurs with an apologetic smile.
"Boooo!" Jimin teases, rolling his eyes. "Hyung, c'mon!"
"Sorry, we're going for a walk," he shrugs.
"A walk?" Namjoon scoffs. "Is that code for sex?"
Seokjin lets out a hearty laugh, giving Namjoon an exasperated look. "You try having three kids. Cut us some slack!"
"Okay, so Jin and Jisoo are out," Hoseok says, rolling his eyes at the couple who don't seem to care, Jisoo placing a soft kiss on her husband's cheek.
"Me too," Yoongi murmurs, chewing on some of the samgyeopsal. "I wanna catch up on some reading."
Hoseok scoffs, muttering a teasing, "Get a load of Stephen Hawking over here".
"I'm in," Jimin calls out. "I still have to kick your ass for the last volleyball game."
"Yeah, me too. I can't believe we lost to Hobi," Taehyung sighs, shaking his head. "Kook?"
"I'm still deciding," Jungkook murmurs with a faint grin, taking a sip of his beer. His response is mostly just to tease Hoseok.
You look over at him, then over at Hoseok, who seems to be waiting for your verdict. "I'm in."
"See, I knew I liked you, ___," Hoseok smiles. "Kook, why didn't you bring her around sooner? I'm already starting to like her more than you."
Jungkook doesn't protest. He simply glances over at you with a soft smile on his face, watching as you talk to his friends. It feels so natural to have you here, like you're a puzzle piece that's been missing all this time. You just fit.
All throughout dinner, he finds little ways to maintain contact with you. He touches your thigh under the table, he rests his arm over the back of your chair, he lazily plays with the ends of your hair while you make conversation with Taehyung about work. It's his subtle way of showing his affection without outright saying what he feels.
After dinner, his friends decide to sit around the patio and roast some marshmallows on the fire that Seokjin lit. Hana chose to go to her room with the excuse of not feeling too well so that she doesn't have to tell the truth, which is that she would rather bang her head against a wall than sit and watch Jungkook make heart eyes at you for another second.
Everyone else gets cozy outside. The sun has already set, the moon and stars illuminating the seaside while the waves crash in the distance. You sit next to Jungkook on one of the patio loveseats, the fire crackling as he holds out a charred marshmallow on a skewer.
"Mai, is everything finalised for the wedding?" Jisoo asks, snuggling up to Seokjin under a thick blanket on one of the other loveseats.
"I have my final dress fitting next week and the venue is stunning! We can't wait for you guys to see it," Mai gushes, her eyes sparkling as she talks about her wedding. "We're really excited."
"Damn, the second couple in our friend group is getting married," Yoongi sighs. "We're getting old."
"Speak for yourself," Taehyung scoffs, playfully elbowing his friend.
"Weddings are always so exciting," Jisoo sighs blissfully. "I remember how happy I was at our wedding. I think that was honestly the happiest day of my life...and when the boys were born of course," she chuckles.
You stare down at the fire burning away, your eyes slightly glossy as you zone in on the low flames. Wedding-talk always gets you a bit choked up, but the last thing you want to do is take away from Mai and Namjoon's moment, so you blink away the moisture building in your eyes and swallow the lump in your throat.
Of course Jungkook notices. He can sense something is wrong by the way your shoulders tense up, the way your eyes remain fixed on the fire. He doesn't want to draw any attention to you, so he leans closer, keeping his voice down. "Hey, everything okay?" he whispers, gently snaking an arm around your waist.
You snap out of your daze to look at him, inhaling sharply, the cool evening breeze working fast to dry your eyes. "Mhm," you nod, looking out at the ocean in the distance. "I'm fine, just...a bit tired."
"You wanna head inside?"
"No, I'm fine."
He doesn't push. He takes your word for it, even though he knows you're anything but fine. He knows you won't tell him what's on your mind, so he lets it go and gently squeezes your waist through the fabric of your dress, a simple way of saying that he's here for you through whatever it is that seems to be bothering you.
"Hey, she was hot!" Jimin exclaims exasperatedly.
"She threatened to hit you with her car," Namjoon laughs.
The conversation seems to have taken a different turn while you and Jungkook got distracted, his friends reminiscing about their failed relationships. Namjoon and Mai's upcoming wedding has them all thinking about their own love lives, some a bit less significant than others.
"What can I say, I like my girls with a touch of psycho," Jimin laughs, earning an amused snort from Taehyung.
"Hey, remember that woman Kook told us about a few years ago who was apparently sooo gorgeous," Hoseok chuckles. "What ever happened to her, man?"
"Yeah, you never told us her name," Yoongi chimes in, giving Jungkook a puzzled look. "You went on and on about how smart and-"
Jungkook clears his throat loudly, subtly signaling for them to 'zip it', his eyes briefly flickering over to you before you even catch it. "She died," he deadpans, earning a loud laugh from Hoseok.
"You're so full of bullshit," he laughs, shaking his head. He would never laugh at something so tragic, but come on. It's so obvious Jungkook just wants this topic to end.
You glance over at him, seeing the way he looks down at the wooden patio floor, his cheeks flushed. You wonder who they're talking about and why you've never heard him talk about this "gorgeous" woman before. You don't want to ask him about it. You don't want to know. Or do you? You feel weird. It's like you're...jealous or something. You're not jealous, that's ridiculous. It's just curiosity. And possibly acid reflux. Well, good for her, whoever she is.
Jungkook lets out a silent sigh of relief when the guys don't question him any further, the topic changing to something else, something you don't really take notice of because you're still too busy wondering who this woman is, or was. Maybe another professor at work? Or maybe she was a neighbour, or even just someone in passing, like a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant.
You're so busy wondering who it could be, you don't even realize you're shivering until he mentions it. "Are you cold?"
"A little," you murmur, rubbing your arms, feeling the goosebumps that have risen.
"I'll go get you a blanket. I'll be right back."
You watch as he gets up and goes inside the house to get you a blanket, your eyes following behind him even when he's out of your line of sight. Mai notices and scoots closer.
"Are you thinking about what Hobi said? About the woman Jungkook wouldn't stop talking about?"
"What?" Your eyebrows raise in faux surprise. "No, why would I be thinking about that?"
Mai smiles, seeing right through your lie. "Okay, well...just so you know...if Hobi actually paid enough attention, he'd remember that Jungkook went on and on about the gorgeous political science professor he met at work...but you didn't hear that from me," she whispers, playfully zipping her lips.
Mai's words make you freeze in your spot, your lips parting, the lightbulb going off in your brain. You know he finds you attractive. Obviously, he's having sex with you, for God's sake. But hearing that he spoke to his friends about you all those years ago when you first met...it feels different. It has a different connotation. You don't speak about a friend like that, do you? Well, you're not just friends, but you're not his either. Being his is a concept you've noticed reoccurring in your head a lot lately, but one you have yet to acknowledge. It's scary to think about. Being his doesn't feel scary, but the thought of being vulnerable enough to lay yourself out there to be hurt is scary.
You're snapped back to reality when Jungkook returns and sits down next to you, gently draping a warm blanket around your shoulders, an even warmer smile on his face.
"Better?" he whispers.
"Better," you whisper.
That look on his face. It makes everything feel less scary. It makes your heart beat faster and your stomach feel all tingly. It's a look you've grown accustomed to. It's a feeling you've started growing accustomed to.
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The evening slowly draws to a close and everyone starts saying their goodnights, going off to their rooms. Jungkook goes to your room and you're about to join him but you're stopped by Mai in the hallway.
"Hey," she whispers. "Please don't tell Jungkook I told you about the whole 'gorgeous professor' thing. He'd probably kill me."
You chuckle, storing the information in a locked safe in your brain. "I won't say anything."
"Okay. I just don't want him to think I'm meddling, y'know."
"There's nothing to meddle in, Mai. We're just-"
"Friends...right," she chuckles, nodding in understanding, even though her facial expression tells you she still doesn't believe you. She knows there's more to the story. The chemistry between you and Jungkook is too strong to be just friends.
"Don't give me that look."
"What look? There's no look," she laughs.
"There so is a look," you chuckle, shaking your head.
"I'm just saying...I'm not trying to pry, I just...l kinda have a feeling there's more going on. There's a whole vibe between you two."
"The 'vibe' is called friendship," you deadpan.
At this point you aren't sure if you're trying to convince Mai or yourself, but it's a habit at this point to deny any romantic connection between you and Jungkook. It saves you from answering a million questions.
"Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you," she chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll let you go before your 'friend' starts looking for you," she teases, biding you goodnight before going upstairs to join Namjoon in the master bedroom.
You make your way into your room and close the door behind you, finding Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for you. "Hey."
"Hey yourself," he murmurs with a soft smile, holding his arms out as you make your way over to him, his hands sliding up to hold onto your waist, his eyes looking up at you. There isn't too much light in the room except for the bedside light and the moonlight streaming in through the large window.
"What were you and Mai talking about out there?"
"Girl stuff, I can't tell you," you tease, you lips curling into a grin.
Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Oh, girl stuff, huh? So secret and exclusive," he murmurs with a mock pout.
"Yeah, it's confidential. Sorry," you chuckle, reaching out to gently run your fingers through his hair.
"Not even a hint? C'mon, baby..."
"My lips are sealed, Jeon."
Jungkook tilts his head back to look up at you properly, a hint of yearning in his gaze. He can barely focus on your words when you look so pretty standing before him. He can't wait to break in the bed with you, but he'll remain patient for now.
"Yeah?" he grins, biting his bottom lip. "Maybe I could get you to open them, hm?"
"Behave yourself," you whisper, your eyes slowly trailing down to his lips and back up. "Your friends are just down the hall."
"So? Let them hear us, I don't care."
You have to mentally remind yourself that you're not alone and that you don't want his friends hearing the things the two of you get up to behind closed doors. You muster up your strength to pull away from him, feeling like a magnet resisting his pull.
"You're crazy. I'm gonna go get ready for bed." You go to get your pyjamas from the closet and make your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
Jungkook waits for you while you change, chewing on his bottom lip as he stares at the bathroom door. He slowly removes his shirt and his shoes, leaning back on his hands. He looks up as you emerge from the bathroom, standing in the open doorframe, your face glowing from the serum you used, your toothbrush in your mouth. He sees the way your eyes trail down his bare chest, the way your pupils dilate ever so subtly.
"You look cute," he murmurs with a lazy grin, his head tilted to the side as he watches you from the bed.
"Don't I always?" you tease, spitting the toothpaste foam into the sink before rinsing your mouth and walking out of the bathroom.
"Yes, but...I like you like this, in your cute pyjamas, your hair up, bare-faced," he murmurs, getting up from the bed to make his way over to you. He stands behind you at the sink, his hands trailing around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.
"You gonna let me take these cute pyjamas off you?" he whispers. "I'll do that thing you like with my tongue."
His words go straight to your core, a faint blush spreading across your cheeks. You turn around to face him, your hands resting upon his bare chest as you look up into his eyes.
"What do you say? You wanna break in the bed?"
You look up into his eyes, your heart telling you to give in and let him do whatever he wants with you, your brain telling you that the walls are thin, that it's risky. Taehyung and Jimin's room is right next door, and if you can hear their muffled conversation, they'll be able to hear all the things Jungkook so badly wants to do to you.
"Maybe we should...wait...until we get back home..."
His brows furrow in confusion. That's not what he was expecting.
"Wait, what? Why?"
"Your friends could hear us."
"___, I meant what I said. I don't care if they hear us."
"But I care," you whisper, gently cupping his cheeks in your hands. "I just...I don't think we should risk it."
He sighs, but he understands why you're hesitant. He already let it slip to Taehyung that you're hooking up, breaking his promise of keeping it between the two of you. He doesn't want the rest of his friends finding out, especially not by hearing the two of you have sex. It would just bring about a million questions that he himself does not have the answers to.
"Okay. I understand," he sighs, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll just take a quick shower and get ready for bed."
He closes the bathroom door once you leave, but he doesn't lock it. A part of him wants you to walk back in and tell him that you changed your mind. He wants you to stop worrying so much and just let him love you the way he wants to. When he stands under the hot stream of water and lathers himself in his body wash, he wishes you were in there with him, letting him lather your body as well. He wishes you'd allow yourself to be taken care of. Sure he takes care of your sexual needs, but who runs you a nice warm bath after you've had a stressful day at work? Who makes you soup when you're sick or holds you in the middle of the night when you're having a bad dream? He could be that person for you if you'd just let him.
He wants to say 'fuck it' and change your mind, convince you to just let loose of the reins for a bit, but when he opens the bathroom door and finds you laying on your back in bed, with tired eyes and a soft smile on your face, all he really wants is to just lay by your side. He doesn't need the sex. A simple touch of your hand on his cheek is enough for him if it means he gets to be close to you.
He gets in bed, propping his head up on his hand, his eyes looking down at you. His hand snakes around to the side of your waist, keeping his grip gentle. "Those eyes look heavy. I thought people are supposed to stay up late on vacation."
"Yeah, when you're twenty-one. I'm not twenty-one anymore," you mumble through a soft chuckle, your sleepy eyes gazing up at him.
"Right, I forgot you're sixty-three with a hip replacement."
You let out a huff of laughter, the sound bringing a wide grin to his face. As your laughter dies down, you notice the way he looks at you, as if he's hypnotised by you.
"What?"
Jungkook's lips curl into a little smile when he realises he's been caught staring. "What?" he echoes, playing coy. "Can't I just admire a good-looking view?" he quips, his tone light and playful.
"I suppose I can't blame you," you murmur, your grin turning a bit more playful. "I'd stare too if I were you."
"Oh, you're so modest, aren't you?" He scoffs.
You chuckle, your eyes fluttering closed, and Jungkook's heart swells in his chest. Your smile is so soft, so genuine, it's infectious. He can't tear his eyes away from you, the way your lashes lay gently against your cheeks, the way your lips curve up at the edges. He reaches out without thinking, gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face, his touch light and tentative.
"___," he whispers.
"Yeah?"
There's a moment of utter silence before he speaks, his voice soft and delicate.
"You're an incredibly beautiful woman."
Suddenly, words are lost on you. You can't seem to find a response that would appropriately correlate with the way his words make you feel, so you show him instead. You lean in and press a gentle, tender kiss to his lips, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his jaw. It's slow and soft, and it steals his breath for a second. When you pull away, his eyes look slightly dreamy and his smile looks a bit dazed.
"Can we make that a regular thing?"
"What?"
"I mean...can we forget about the whole no kissing outside of sex thing? I just wanna kiss you...whenever it feels right..."
You pause, contemplating his words. You can't lie and say that you don't want that, because lord knows you do.
"We'll see," you whisper, smiling as you lean in for another kiss, and then another.
He knows what that smile means. It means you want it too, you're just too damn stubborn to outright admit it, as if him kissing you is so scandalous. He doesn't care, your unclear answer doesn't upset him. The way your lips can't seem to stray from his for longer than a few seconds tells him everything he needs to know.
"We'll see, huh?" He smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, rolling onto his back with your body halfway on top of him. He enjoys the simple intimacy of just having your head on his chest, his fingers languidly running through your hair.
"Yeah, we'll see," you whisper, laying your head down on his chest, where it remains for the rest of the night.
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You're very cautious about cuddling. You don't cuddle after sex, and don't usually cuddle outside of sex either. Your heart is far too weak for that and you know that one good cuddle from the right man will have you throwing all your rules out the window, so when you wake up and that man isn't cuddling you like you had secretly hoped he would, you're met with disappointment.
You slowly open your eyes, blinking in the bright morning light that streams through the large window, the sea air drifting through your nose. As you come to, you notice that the other side of the bed is empty. Your thoughts linger on the person who is supposed to be on the other side of the bed, and you find yourself missing him, yearning to see his face, his fluffy hair, his pretty eyes. You slowly push yourself up into a sitting position, contemplating getting out of bed to find him.
Just as you're about to get up, however, the door to the bedroom opens and Jungkook walks in, carrying two mugs of coffee. As soon as his eyes land on you in bed, his face lights up with a smile.
"You're awake," he murmurs, his voice still a little groggy from sleep. He walks over to the bed and hands you one of the mugs.
"You went to get me coffee?" You still feel a bit groggy as you look down at the mug in your hand, smelling the delicious aroma.
"Of course," he smiles, sliding onto the edge of the bed beside you. "I figured you might need some caffeine to fully wake up."
Jungkook watches as you take a tentative sip of the coffee, enjoying the feeling of seeing you this early in the morning, still so sleepy, your hair a little messy, your lips slightly swollen, your cheeks flushed. He cherishes these moments, seeing you so vulnerable and unguarded in the morning. It's a side of you that he rarely gets to see, and he'll never take it for granted.
"Once you finish that, you have to get up because we're heading down to the beach around 9:30-ish."
"Damn...Hoseok really takes his volleyball seriously, huh?"
"He does," he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm gonna go get ready while you have your coffee."
He rounds the bed to get to his suitcase, pulling out his swimming shorts before making his way to the bathroom to change, giving you a moment to yourself.
You find yourself missing his presence as soon as the bathroom door closes, which is odd. You're not a clingy person. You like your space. You don't like spending every minute of every day with someone. Yet, here you are, impatiently waiting for his return after a simple trip to the bathroom to change. Maybe it's because you know that when he walks out of that bathroom, he'll be wearing half the amount of clothing he wore going in, or maybe your impatience is your body going through withdrawals after asking him to withold sex until you get home, which you think you're starting to regret.
You don't know what's going on with you lately. First, last night's jealousy at the thought of Jungkook finding another woman attractive (and the immediate relief when said woman turned out to be you), then the cuddling in bed, and then the disappointment of not waking up in his arms this morning.
It's not long before the bathroom door opens and he walks out in all his glory, his torso bare and toned, his shorts adorning his hips. A fresh cup of coffee and a nice view of a very attractive, half-naked man all within twenty minutes of waking up is surely a good way to start the day.
His presence alone is confirmation that you definitely regret asking him to withhold sex until you get home. It's confirmation that you were jealous last night, and that you were disappointed when he wasn't in bed with you when you woke up this morning.
"Actually, uh..." He stops in his tracks, his attention back on you. "You guys go and I'll meet you at the beach in a little bit."
"Are you sure?" He tilts his head in confusion.
"Yeah, you go, I'll be down in a bit."
He's hesitant to leave, having planned on going together, but he assumes you just want to catch up on a few more minutes of rest. "Okay...I'll see you down there," he murmurs with a smile before making his way out to join the others.
You set your coffee down on the nightstand and plop back down on the bed, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You have so much going on in your head and your heart, and the two won't stop butting heads. You know this feeling. You know what love feels like. You've been there before, and you didn't like how it ended, which is exactly why you locked the big padlock on your heart and threw away the key. Yet, when you close your eyes and Jungkook's face pops up in your head, and his voice rings through your ears, a soft smile works its way onto your face.
When you're with him, you just want to kiss his cheek and listen to him ramble on and on about international trade and supply and demand. You want to suck his dick, then hold his hand and tell him how smart, and kind, and pretty he is. Oh how pretty he is. You want to partake in all of his nerdy interests with him and ask him questions about it just to see him get excited.
You threw that damn key away and you thought you'd never need it again, but somehow, Jungkook must have stumbled upon it and picked it up because it seems to be in his possession.
You can't stay here and let your thoughts run wild any longer. You have to get out of this room and get down to that beach.
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It's still quite early yet the sun is already scorching, the sand warm and toasty beneath your feet. The smell of salty air and sunscreen fills your senses, a perfect combination for a summer day. You spot Mai in her cute bikini, tanning on the sand, so you make your way over to her while some of the others set up a volleyball net, Hoseok and Namjoon's excited chattering echoing in the distance.
"Wooow, hot mama," Mai hoots, her chin resting in her palm while she tans her back, her sunglasses pushed up to the top of her head. The 'hotness' she's referring to might be the red bikini adorning your body, the red bikini you picked out with Jungkook's reaction in mind...but who knows for sure?
"Speak for yourself," you chuckle, laying down beside her, the sun beating down on your back. "I bet Namjoon loves that bikini, huh?"
"Honey, he'll be taking this bikini off of me later," she cackles, shooting a flirty wave over to her fiancé in the distance.
Namjoon's eyes aren't the only ones occupied. Jungkook can't help but stare, his eyes hungrily raking over your form. He's supposed to be partaking in a conversation with Taehyung and Jimin, but he's so distracted, his thoughts consumed by the sight of you in that bikini, his gaze firmly planted to your smooth skin, the roundness of your ass, those legs. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet and the lack of sex is already proving to be rather difficult.
"What're you guys talking about?" There's that damn nagging voice, Hana joining their conversation, the conversation Jungkook couldn't care less about right now.
"Jimin and I were talking about what we'd do if we were the only people left on earth," Taehyung quips. "And Jungkook appears to no longer be with us."
Jungkook lets out a scoff, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes still glued to you while you converse with Mai in the distance.
Hana follows his line of sight and subtly rolls her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of frustration. "Kookie, what would you do if you and I were the only people left on earth?"
"Probably buy a gun," he mutters under his breath before walking off in your direction, leaving behind two highly amused friends and an offended Hana.
He makes his way over, sitting down next to you without a word, both of your faces turning into a grin at the mere proximity. "Hey ladies," he murmurs, getting comfortable while a few of the guys play a practice round of volleyball.
"Kook," Mai nods in acknowledgement, her eyes shifting to the water ahead. "I was just saying how hot your friend is."
"Mm, she's okay, I guess," he shrugs with a teasing grin, leaning back on his hands.
"I'm right here you know," you scoff.
"Trust me, I see you."
You're lucky Mai's eyes are on the water a few feet away, because if she were to turn her head and look at Jungkook, she'd see his hand trailing up your thigh, giving your asscheek a quick squeeze before you silently swat it away, a bashful smile on your face. You turn your head to him to mouth a silent 'stop' but he simply shoots you a mischievous wink.
That face paired with that wink gets you, and you might have let him continue if Hoseok hadn't called everyone to start the game of volleyball.
Everyone gathers and divides into two teams on opposite sides of the net, the air already filled with playful bickering and competitive banter. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and you are on one side, while Namjoon, Mai, Hoseok and Hana are on the other.
The game begins and the competitive spirit sparks, everyone focused on their team winning. When you agreed to play, you didn't expect the game to be so intense, full of spikes, blocks and a few dives. You especially didn't expect to bond this well with his friends, the group making you feel like you've known them for years. You share high-fives and amusing words with his friends every time something exciting happens, feeling the synergy in the air.
Jungkook watches you as you run across the sand to get to the ball, admiring your agility. You certainly make a good team, sharing a bit of a competitive streak. The two of you work together to score against the other team in a tough back and forth, your excitement too much to contain when Namjoon fumbles the ball on their side of the net.
The point given to your team is shoved to the back of your mind when Jungkook rushes over to wrap his arms around your waist, spinning you off your feet. The adrenaline mixed with the contact of his skin on yours sends a dizzying, electrifying feeling through your body. The two of you laugh and cheer while Taehyung and Jimin shout taunts at the other team, the others playfully 'boo'ing and rolling their eyes.
Hana feels her face heat up in a simmering rage of jealousy and frustration, her eyes narrowing as she watches the two of you, the flirty undertones, his winks every time you score, the bashful smiles all starting to grate at her.
"Not fair, ___'s good! I want her on our team," Hana calls out, clearly up to something.
"But-" Jimin is about to protest but she's already made up her mind.
"___, why don't you swap with Hobi for the rest of the game."
"Wha- hey! I thought I was good," Hoseok laughs.
Hana's tone is just a little too sweet. You can feel the shift in her demeanour, and you know it's not just about the game anymore. You glance over at Jungkook, seeing the crease between his eyebrows, the tension in his jaw. It's clear that he is not happy.
"No way, ___'s our star player," Taehyung calls out, playfully nudging your arm, oblivious to the underlying tension.
Hana doesn't back down, her smile turning sly. "Oh whatever, don't be so greedy," she chides, her voice sickly sweet. "Come on, ___."
You don't want to reject her in front of everyone, so you offer her a weak smile, feeling put on the spot. "Sure," you mutter, reluctantly swapping places with Hoseok. You shoot Jungkook a confused look, his expression mirroring yours.
The game starts back up, but Jungkook is still suspicious of her intentions. He knows what she's like, and he can practically see the gears turning in her head.
The game goes on, everyone playing as normal, the vibes more or less okay, until they aren't. Jimin hits the ball in your direction and you run a few quick steps to reach it, when suddenly there's a foot blocking your way, sending you tumbling to the ground, your body landing in the sand, your ankle taking a bit of a beating.
"Oh shit, ___, I'm sorry," Hana gasps, the emotion in her voice not reaching her face. Everyone looks concerned, worried looks crossing their faces.
Jungkook reacts within seconds, sprinting over to you as soon as you hit the sand, his heart racing in his chest, his eyes wide with worry. He crouches down to check on you, his hands gentle as he inspects you for any injuries. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"
You look up at his face, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. "My ankle hurts a bit but-"
Before you can get your sentence out, he's already checking your ankle, looking like a first aider who desperately wants a raise.
"It's fine, really, it's nothing to worry about."
He looks into your eyes, his movements coming to a halt, his chest rising and falling from rushing over to you. He doesn't care that his friends are watching, he doesn't care that his feelings are as clear as day. All he cares about right now is you and your ankle.
"You're sure?"
You nod, slowly getting up. You take a step, but your ankle is tender, causing you to hiss and stumble. Jungkook reaches out to steady you, his hands holding onto your waist, his grip firm.
"___, I think you should rest your ankle, honey," Mai murmurs with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, maybe put some ice on it," Namjoon nods, looking concerned.
"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Hana pipes up, a faint, apologetic smile on her face. The apology is almost as fake as her nose.
Jungkook's eyes narrow when he looks over at her, his anger showing clearly on his face. A muscle in his jaw twitches as he bites back a response. As much as he wants to lash out at her for purposefully hurting you, he holds his tongue, not giving her the attention she wants.
"I'm gonna go take her back to the house to get some ice on her ankle," he says, his tone brokering no argument. "You all can continue playing." The rest of the group nods in agreement, their faces filled with sympathy and concern. Hana stays silent.
Your injury really isn't that serious for you to not be able to walk, just causing a little limp, but when Jungkook decides you need to be carried bridal style, you don't protest. You actually have to hold back a giggle when his arm muscles flex as he carries you, quickly composing yourself.
He cradles you against his chest as he takes you back to the house, his grip on you firm but gentle. Once you reach the house, he sets you down on the couch, propping up your ankle with a pillow. He disappears into the kitchen, returning moments later with an ice pack, which he gently applies to your ankle. He takes a seat on the edge of the couch, his eyes fixed on your face, studying your expression for any signs of pain or discomfort.
He notices the small hiss that escapes your lips, his gaze softening as he looks at you, his hand resting on the ice pack, keeping it in place. "Does it hurt?"
"It's just really cold," you chuckle, looking down at the ice pack.
"Cold is better than pain, right?"
"Yeah, cold is better than pain," you smile.
You feel him remove the ice pack, watching him inspect your ankle with so much care, so much tenderness. Seeing him run over as soon as you got hurt, having him take care of you like this...it's a glimpse of the care you haven't allowed yourself to indulge in for a long time.
"Thank you," you whisper as you look up into his eyes, your body language a bit more vulnerable.
His gaze is soft, his expression filled with a tenderness that matches his touch. "Of course."
There's a moment, just a brief one, where time seems to still, his eyes holding yours, the space between you feeling almost electrified with a quiet intimacy.
"You got over there pretty fast," you murmur softly.
"Of course, I was worried about you."
He leans in, his face inching closer to yours, his fingers gently brushing some of your hair out of your face before he cups your cheek in his palm. "I don't ever want to see you hurt...no matter how minor..."
"I'm okay," you whisper, a faint smile on your lips, your nose just barely brushing against his.
"How's the pain?"
"What pain?"
He rolls his eyes, a small huff of amusement leaving his lips. "I'm serious," he whispers, a hint of a smile on his face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You're sure it's okay?"
"I'm sure." You voice is soft, and the kiss he presses to your lips is even softer, your mouths moving in sync. Your lips might not be able to say everything you're feeling, but the kiss sure does. It's a silent confession that he cares for you and you care for him, more deeply than either of you can put into words.
He pulls back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes still closed after that kiss, but the sound of the guys returning from the beach is like a cold shower, both of you suddenly pulled back into reality, the moment between you interrupted.
He holds the ice pack firmly against your ankle but his eyes are on your face, trying to read your expression, trying to find even a hint of what you're thinking or feeling. His heart is racing, but he forces himself to appear calm, to mask the flurry of emotions he's going through.
The guys burst through the door, their voices loud and full of laughter, a stark contrast to the quiet and charged atmosphere between you and Jungkook. They're blissfully oblivious to what they've interrupted, their brains still on the beach. They all make sure to check if you're okay, the attention thankfully on your ankle and not on Jungkook's and your flushed cheeks and flustered faces.
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It's around 7pm when you find yourself on the patio, curled up on one of the loveseats, listening to Mai and Jisoo discuss wedding preparations. The sun is halfway set along the horizon, casting pretty pink and orange hues across the sky.
Some of the others have already retired to their rooms, probably knocked out after eating the mountain of dumplings Yoongi made for dinner. You had contemplated speaking to Hana about what happened on the beach, but you ultimately decided against it. You know that her intention was to hurt you, but you're an adult and you refuse to indulge in her petty games.
"Are you stressed out? I know I was when I was getting married," Jisoo chuckles, taking a sip of her tea as she curls up one of the patio sofas.
"Big time," Mai sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to finally marry Joon, but wedding planning is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be."
You listen as Mai vents, going on about the caterers, and the venue, and the dress. You're a part of the conversation, but you shift in and out of being emotionally present. Your eyes drift off into the distance, staring out at the water with a distant look on your face, the pain in your ankle long forgotten.
"Joon and I even got into an argument last month because we went over budget...or, well, I went over budget," she scoffs.
"That's normal," Jisoo shrugs, giving her a reassuring smile. "Jin and I had a few arguments throughout the planning. I get it. As long as you don't let the stress come between you."
You might be here physically, but mentally, you've checked out. It's as if your thoughts have grown legs and ran off on their own, taunting you with Jisoo's words.
As long as you don't let the stress come between you.
Jisoo's words take you back to that time in your life, when you thought your life was perfect. It was perfect. You had the man of your dreams, a ring, and the promise of a long life together. Then you 'let the stress come between you'. At least that was Sunghoon's excuse for having sex with a friend of yours. He told you he was stressed out and the wedding planning just became too much for him, and you were always studying for your masters, never giving him the attention he deserved.
It's a strange thing, grieving. To grieve, not a person, but rather a bond that you spent years building with a person, is a feeling you can't quite explain. Grieving the loss of a relationship is not linear. The sadness and the anger come and go. Some days you're completely fine, laughing and going out, feeling like yourself again. Some days you're on your bedroom floor, crying as you clutch onto the wedding dress you never got the wear. You grieve Sunghoon, not because he died, but because that boy you fell for at sixteen no longer exists.
You envy Mai and Namjoon's relationship. It's clear how much they love each other, how much he loves her. It's clear how much he values and respects her, how his eyes don't prioritize anything that isn't her, how kind and gentle he is with her. It's a reminder of the love you once had. The love that was crumpled up and thrown in your face on a random Tuesday evening.
You have to excuse yourself when the feeling starts to get a bit too much, all this wedding-talk making your eyes sting. You go down to the beach, the sand feeling rough beneath your feet, the air much colder now that the sun is fully set. You sit down with your knees held to your chest, your eyes looking out at the water, the waves crashing loudly. It's what your brain sounds like. So, so loud. It's overwhelming and the lump in your throat is starting to hurt.
Then there's a voice behind you and it's like everything goes still, your thoughts finally quieting down.
"There you are," he murmurs, his voice soft and gentle, the sound enough to warm you up in the cold breeze. "Mai and Jisoo said you were out here."
You don't respond, your heart feeling a little lighter when he sits down next to you, his eyes trailing from the water to your face.
"Why are you out here alone, hm?"
"Just...needed some air."
"There's air in the house too, you know."
A faint smile flashes across your face before it fades, your eyes trained straight ahead of you. "It's better to think out here."
"I suppose that's true."
He looks over at you, sensing the sadness in your eyes, in your demeanour. He doesn't know what it is, but he wants to protect you from it. It might be greedy of him, but he wants to pick apart your brain and understand exactly what it is that's burdening you. He wants to know your past, your fears, your regrets. He doesn't want to push, but he wants to be let in.
"___, what's making you so sad?"
You scoff humourlessly. "What makes you think I'm sad?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't hide from me," he murmurs, looking at you with so much tenderness. "I can't force you to tell me what's bothering you...but I know it's not nothing."
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh?"
"Maybe."
He doesn't even know the half of it.
You stay silent, chewing on your bottom lip. You can't lie to him, and that kinda scares you. It scares you that you feel so strongly for him, strong enough to want to completely bare your soul for him.
"Listening to Mai and Jisoo talk about the wedding...it reminded me of..."
He doesn't rush you. He lets you take your time, holding his breath as he waits, sensing you want to open up about whatever it is that's weighing so heavily on your shoulders.
"It reminded me of a love I lost years ago..."
He isn't sure exactly what he feels. A part of him is relieved that you're finally letting him in, finally showing him this vulnerability. It's all he's ever wanted, yet the thought of a man hurting you, a man who once had the privilege of loving you (the privilege he so desperately longs for) and still throwing that away...it makes his head spin. This is the first time he's heard of you being with anyone in the past, and it reminds him of how little you've actually shared with him about yourself and your past.
"Do you...want to tell me about it?" He keeps his voice low, not wanting to speak too loudly in fear of scaring you away.
You take a deep breath before speaking.
"He was my first love...we met in high school. We were together for...a long time," you murmur, looking down at a vague spot in the sand. "And he cheated on me."
You don't tell him everything, just enough for him to get an understanding without sharing too much.
Your confession almost knocks the air out of his lungs, his brows furrowing, his eyes growing wide. He's angry. He's furious at the man who dared to betray you like that, he's confused why anyone would do something like that to a woman like you. He's sad, so terribly sad that you had to go through that. He can't imagine what that must have felt like, the pain you must have gone through. It pains him to think about you ever being hurt like that.
"___, I'm so sorry," he whispers, slowly inching closer to you.
"Don't be," you murmur, the faint smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes. "It was a long time ago."
"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. ___, you deserve...everything. You deserve someone who wakes up everyday and feels blessed to have you, who would go to the ends of the earth for you..."
There's a pause, the air feeling thick.
"You deserve a man who loves you with all his heart."
His words fade into a quiet whisper, as if he's just bared his deepest secrets. He looks at the side of your face, his heart pounding in his chest.
"___," he whispers, practically begging you to look at him.
Your gaze meets his, your eyes shining with a thin sheen of unshed tears. His words hold so much feeling, so much desperation.
"Yes?" It's almost too soft to reach his ears, your voice trembling.
He leans in, his face inching closer, his fingers gently brushing your hair behind your ear.
"If you were mine...really mine..." He takes a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes boring into yours. "I'd never break your heart."
It's like a dam breaks.
You close the gap between you, pressing your lips to his, your eyes squeezing shut, a tear finally rolling down your cheek, quickly being brushed away by his thumb. You crawl into his lap, the kiss growing passionate, your fingers sliding up into his hair, gripping onto his strands to steady yourself. You feel everything and nothing and all that is in between.
You love him. You really do, and it took you four years of knowing him to admit it to yourself. It's scary and it's uncertain, but it's love and it's real and you can't keep running from it.
It makes you shiver, the overwhelming feeling mixed with the cold evening air.
"Are you cold?" He asks, pulling away to look into your eyes, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks.
"A little."
"Why don't we get you in a nice warm shower?"
You know what his suggestion implies, and you can't deny yourself of the pleasures of loving him and letting him love you.
"Okay."
You get up and make your way back to the house. It's completely still, everyone else already in their rooms. Jungkook leads you to your room and shuts the door, locking it for good measure. He looks over at you, the two of you silently communicating that you want this. He crosses the room and takes your face in his hands, crashing his lips into yours.
You walk backwards to the en-suite, pulling away only for him to open the shower door and turn the water on, the hot water slowly filling the room with steam. He turns back to you, searching your eyes for any hesitation.
"Are you coming in with me?" Your voice gives away your desires, your eyes begging him to give you what you want.
"Do you want me to?"
"I do," you murmur, leaning in to press a few quick pecks to his lips. You pull away and hold your arms up, a faint smile playing on your lips.
He gets the hint and reaches for the hem of your top, slowly pulling it up over your head, with big smiles spread across both of your faces. He reaches behind you to undo your bra, slowly sliding the material down your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground as he presses soft kisses to your collarbones. He kisses down your body until he is kneeling before you, his eyes trailing up to your face. "God, you're gorgeous," he mutters softly, hooking his fingers into the sides of your pants, pulling the fabric down your legs.
He presses a gentle peck to your lower stomach beneath your belly button, sending a shiver down your spine. He slowly pulls your panties down, tossing it aside with the rest of your clothes.
He stands up straight and smiles as you start undressing him, pulling his shirt over his head before moving onto his pants and boxers, letting the clothing pool at his feet.
He presses his lips to yours and leads you into the shower, the warm water cascading down your bodies. You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the wet hair at the base of his neck. "I thought we were waiting until we got home," he whispers, a smile tugging at his lips.
"I'm tired of waiting," you whisper, moaning as he kisses down your neck.
His hands slide over your body, the water making everything slick, his fingers tracing along your curves. He pulls your body against his, his mouth moving up your neck to your ear, where he takes your earlobe into his mouth. "I'm gonna make you feel so good...gonna make you forget all about that other asshole."
He gently presses you up against the shower wall, kissing a line down the side of your neck. He holds onto your waist to steady you while his other hand finds its way between your legs, running his middle finger through your folds.
"So wet, baby," he mumbles into your neck, his voice a low rumble.
He gathers some of your slick on his fingers and starts rubbing slow circles over your clit. You moan softly and tilt your head back against the wall, your fingers gripping his biceps. He makes sure you're wet enough before sliding a finger into your pussy, slowly thrusting it in and out.
"F-fuck," you moan, your eyes fluttering shut.
"That feel good, baby?"
You nod.
"Want another?"
"Mhmm," you sigh blissfully, feeling him insert a second finger, his lips and tongue attached to your neck.
He groans at the sound of your slick, his fingers moving in a 'come here' motion, pulling soft moans and sighs from your lips. "You like that?" he mumbles, his voice a little deeper, his breathing a little ragged.
"Y-yeah," you manage to breathe out, your eyes squeezing shut and your eyebrows furrowing as the pleasure builds. Your nails dig into his biceps when his fingers pick up the pace, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten.
"Gonna...c-cum..."
He smiles against your neck as starts rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb, his middle and ring finger moving faster. "Cum for me, baby."
Your muscles tense up as the knot unravels, your orgasm washing over you with a loud moan. He slows his fingers, helping you through it by easing the pressure on your clit. "You did so good for me," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue licking into your mouth.
You hand trails down his abdomen until it reaches its destination, wrapping your fingers around his semi-hard cock. He moans into the kiss, slipping his fingers out of your pussy to grip your hips, needing something to ground him while you stroke his cock.
"Wanna make you feel good," you whisper into the kiss, trailing your lips down his chin and neck, moving lower until you're down on your knees in front of him.
He looks down at you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his stomach muscles tensing in anticipation. He slides his fingers through your wet hair, resting his free hand against the wall. He watches as you part your lips, his cock twitching in excitement.
"Gonna take it like a good girl?"
You nod up at him before pressing a teasing kiss to the tip, listening to the soft moan that falls from his lips. You start stroking the shaft, batting your eyelashes up at him.
"Fuck, that feels good," he sighs, taking hold of your chin, pushing his thumb into your mouth. He groans as you swirl your tongue around it, the way you would with his cock.
You suck on his thumb, making sure to hold eye contact while you stroke his cock, the tip already starting to leak a bit of pre-cum. Once you get him fully hard, you release his thumb from your mouth and replace it with his cock, feeling the delicious weight on your tongue.
He watches as you start sucking him, focusing your tongue on the head before taking him all the way to the back of your throat, pulling a deep groan from his throat. He fists his hand in your hair, letting out shaky breaths as the pleasure flows through him. You're a sight to see, with wet hair and a mouth full of cock.
He can't decide if he wants to cum down your throat or fuck you against the wall. He likes the sound of the latter.
"Baby...b-baby, stop," he mutters breathlessly, tugging at your hair to get you to release him from your mouth.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to be inside you," he breathes, helping you up before he slides his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up in one swift motion. "Need this pussy," he mutters, pressing you against the wall to grind his cock against your sopping folds.
You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning as he grinds into you, welcoming his lips against yours. He reaches down to align his cock with your entrance, slowly pushing into you with a guttural moan.
"F-fucking Christ, you feel so good," he groans, his fingers digging into your thighs as he starts thrusting into you, his cock filling you up like nothing and no one else can.
Having him inside you is something you'll never get tired of, his cock fitting in you like you were moulded just for him. You were made for him, and he was made for you. His thrusts make your head spin, the steam coming from the shower making everything feel more romantic, more intense.
"You're perfect," he sighs, his voice almost too quiet to hear if it weren't for the fact that his words are whispered directly into your ear. "So...so beautiful..."
All you can do in return is moan and whimper as his thrusts get deeper, the pleasure getting stronger. You lose all ability to form a coherent sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as he pounds into you. He slides his tongue into your mouth, gently digging his teeth into your bottom lip, giving it a little tug.
His thrusts start getting faster, sloppier, an indication of his impending high. Your own orgasm starts creeping closer, his cock hitting that special spot inside you that makes you turn to mush. "Oh my God, don't stop...so...so close..."
"Me too, baby...gonna cum s-so hard..."
He thrusts harder, hitting that same spot over and over again, his nails digging into your flesh. The coil in your stomach tightens, threatening to snap with each deep thrust. The air is thick with passion and desire, your body trembling in his hold, your moans bouncing off the wet bathroom walls.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he groans deeply, holding onto your thigh while his free arm wraps around your waist, holding onto you like you're his oxygen supply. "Oh f-fuck, ___!"
A few sloppy thrusts and your walls start spasming around his cock, triggering his orgasm. He paints your walls with thick white ropes of pleasure, his arms clutching your body like you might disappear into thin air.
"Holy sh-shit," he sighs, both of you slowly coming down from your high, giving you a few slow thrusts before pulling out, letting his cum leak out of you.
You're completely spent, smiling like a giddy schoolgirl, your cheeks flushed, your heart hammering in your chest. The warm water runs over your bodies, slowly bringing your brain back down to earth. "Let's just stay like this for a little while," you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your hands before pressing a light kiss to his swollen lips.
"Okay," he smiles, pressing soft pecks over your cheeks, your nose, your chin. He brushes some of your wet hair out of your face, looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky.
He slowly puts you down and reaches for your body wash, lathering some on your loofah. You're about to take it from him but he stops you. "Let me."
You look up into his eyes, seeing how much this means to him. Sex is one thing, but what you do after says everything. He doesn't just want the sex, and neither do you. He doesn't want this moment to end here, and neither do you, so you let him lather your body in the fragrant body wash because this is about so much more than sex.
He washes you with so much care, making sure the soap reaches every inch of your body. The last man you let wash you after sex was Sunghoon, but with Jungkook it somehow feels different. His hands are softer, he touches you more gently, and his gaze travels down your body like you're a work of art and he is lucky enough to get to lay his eyes upon you. It's difficult to just forget about the past and the heartbreak, but in this moment with Jungkook, you want to try to take the steps to move forward.
You rinse yourself off under the hot stream of water before taking his loofah from the shower hook and lathering it with your body wash, returning the favour. You run the soapy loofah over his body, running your free hand over his muscles, a soft smile settling onto both of your faces. You run your hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath the firm flesh. You lean in and press a soft kiss to the area, kissing all the way up to his lips.
The two of you stay like that for a while, just kissing under the warm water, the steam surrounding your bodies, partially blurring your vision. This level of intimacy feels so different and new to the two of you, and yet it feels so right, like you were always meant to be with him like this, like you were born to be loved by him.
You love him, and it feels like too big of a mouthful to say in this moment, too heavy on your tongue, too frightening for your brain to comprehend, so you keep it stored away for the time being. Admitting it to yourself is enough for now.
You stand kissing under the water until it starts turning cold, so you turn it off and step out. He dries you off with a fresh towel before moving onto himself, letting you dry his hair with your hairdryer. The two of you get ready for bed together, which again, is new for you. You stand next to him and brush your teeth, stealing glances at him in the mirror every chance you get.
You change into a t-shirt and panties and slip into bed with him, facing him while he languidly rubs your back beneath your shirt, his body bare except for a fresh pair of boxers. He smells like your body wash, like his skin has been stained by you.
"___, about what I said on the beach," he murmurs, chewing on his bottom lip.
"What about it?" you ask nervously, seeking his eyes for any sign that he regrets it.
"I meant every word I said," he whispers, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours.
"I know, Jungkook," you murmur, your voice barely reaching his ears before your lips seek out his in the dark room.
He kisses you until you're too sleepy to kiss back anymore, and when you fall asleep in his arms without protesting, your face reflecting how peaceful you feel, he finally rests. He knows what you're too afraid to say out loud, and he doesn't need to hear it from your lips to know that it's real.
He will continue to love you in silence until you're ready to be loved out loud.
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The next morning, you wake up to sound of the waves crashing, the birds chirping, and the feeling of the sun on your face and Jungkook's lips on your cheek. You have to admit it's a damn good way to wake up.
"Morning," he mumbles, his voice still laced with sleep, the deep rumble going straight through your body. You've never had a thing for the 'morning voice' guys tend to exaggerate to sound sexy, but damn. He could read your grocery list after waking up and you'd get down on your knees for him.
"Morning," you smile, your eyes still feeling too heavy to open fully.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Really good," you murmur softly, holding the side of his jaw in the palm of your hand, feeling his warm skin. "You?"
"I slept amazing last night," he grins, his hand slowly sliding down your thigh to hook it over his hip, letting you feel his bulge.
At that, your eyes open, letting out a sleepy chuckle. "Someone's up early," you tease. "Is 'little Jungkook' excited to see me?"
"Don't call him little, it'll hurt his feelings," he groans, pressing his face into your neck as he rolls you onto your back, laying his weight on you. He presses a few lazy kisses to your neck, slowly grinding his hips into you. "He's big and manly."
"Oh, I'm sorry," you murmur, sighing as the head of his cock rubs over your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. You loosely wrap your arms around his neck, letting your eyes flutter shut once more. "Maybe his lady friend can apologize for me."
"Yeah? Is she awake?"
"Mm...she's definitely awake."
"I should get her ready first," he whispers, pressing a final kiss to your neck before pulling away to pull your t-shirt over your head, tossing it aside.
"She's a little lower down, you know," you chuckle, biting your bottom lip as he starts kissing your breasts, enveloping a nipple in his warm, wet mouth.
"I know," he mumbles with your nipple in his mouth, giving it a suck and a little nibble before switching to the other side. "I just wanted to give my girls some attention too."
"Your...your girls?" You sigh in pleasure as he sucks on your nipple, running your fingers through his messy hair.
"Mm...my precious babies," he smiles, planting a kiss to your sternum before making his descent down your body, his head disappearing under the duvet.
He spreads your thighs to accommodate his shoulders, not bothering to remove your panties. He simply pulls them aside and starts pressing soft, feather-like kisses to your clit. He knows you're still sleepy, and he is too, so he takes his time, languidly licking and sucking on your clit before sliding his tongue through your slick folds, gathering some of your essence on his tongue.
"Fuck, you taste good in the morning." His voice is muffled against your pussy, the duvet drowning most of the sound, but it reaches your ears and it makes your walls clench.
He flicks and swirls his tongue around your clit, pulling moan after moan from your lips, your back arching off the mattress as he eats you out. You're not sure why, but cunnilingus feels even better when you're sleepy.
Soon enough, you're cumming on his tongue, lacking the energy to last any longer than necessary.
He crawls up to stick his head out from under the duvet, his tongue darting out to lick your slick off of his lips. "Love the taste of your pussy in the morning."
"Jesus Christ," you laugh, your cheeks still flushed from your orgasm and his filthy words. "Do you have to be so vulgar?"
"I absolutely have to be so vulgar, yes."
He kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. It's early and neither one of you have gotten up yet to brush your teeth, but you don't care. You kinda like the way he tastes in the morning. It's natural, it's unfiltered and, you dare say; romantic. It makes your body heat up at the thought alone.
Morning sex is always a treat, a rarity for you and him. It's slower, and softer, and you don't have to think too much because your body just does what feels good. When Jungkook pushes his cock into you and presses his lips to yours to swallow your moans, you feel like you're on cloud nine.
"You're so pretty," he whispers into your ear, his voice deep and low, his hands sliding into yours to intertwine your fingers next to your head.
"You too," you sigh, your eyes rolling back into your head as he thrusts, making sure to roll his hips slowly and deeply.
"You think I'm pretty?" he grins faintly, keeping the pace nice and languid.
"S-so pretty..."
Your words pull a soft groan from within his chest, his face smooshed against your neck.
It doesn't feel like he's fucking you, but rather making love. There's no rush, the house still completely quiet in the early hours of the morning, giving him over enough time to pleasure you. The sun shines through the window, heating the skin of his bare back. His hair stands up in all directions from sleep, making him look extra soft and fluffy. He's so much more than pretty when you open your eyes to look at him. He's magnificent.
He kisses your lips as his thrusts pick up momentum, his body chasing his high. He reaches a hand down to rub circles over your clit, wanting you to finish with him, and as good as you feel, and as close as you are to cumming, you don't even care about that right now. All you care about is getting to share this intimacy with him.
He presses your body into the mattress when he cums, his arms wrapping firmly around your waist, his cock throbbing inside you.
You slide your hands around him, rubbing the skin of his back to soothe him, feeling the way his muscles flex beneath your palms.
His chest rises and falls unevenly, his whole body trembling, the feeling of pure bliss coursing through his veins. "Damn," he mumbles, his voice rough from his ragged breaths. "I might have just ejaculated my soul out of my body."
"That good?"
"So good," he chuckles, still a little breathless. "Wanna go take a shower?"
"Together?"
He leans on his elbows, looking down at you with a sheepish smile. "Yeah. Together."
You smile and push his frazzled hair out of his face, feeling your heart start to beat faster. "Okay."
The two of you take that shower together, sneaking in a few soft kisses and slow touches, trying your best not to get carried away. You kiss while you dry yourselves off and get dressed, and you kiss after brushing your teeth, and then before leaving your room to have breakfast with the rest of his friends, making sure to get in as many kisses before you have to be his "friend" again.
A part of you is sad to be leaving Jeju, but it's not the beach or the house you'll miss, although both of those things were quite nice. Instead, you'll miss opening your eyes in the morning and turning your head to see him next to you. You know that once you get home, you won't have any excuse to wake up next to him except for the fact that you're in love with him and you want to spend your mornings, your afternoons and your nights with him. That would just be insane to tell him that, so you won't, yet it's all you can think about on the plane ride back to Seoul.
He drives you home from the airport and carries your suitcase up to your apartment, handing it back to you at the door. You open the front door and walk in, expecting him to join you, but he doesn't.
"You coming in?"
"I want to but I should really get home to Bam," he sighs, giving you an apologetic smile.
That shouldn't disappoint you as much as it does. You understand, you love Bam and you know he needs his dad, even if you need his dad too.
"Right...yeah...I have to go get Miso from Jihyo's place anyway, so..."
He watches you as you try to hide your disappointment, an amused smile spreading across his face.
"Don't pout, baby," he teases.
"I'm not pouting," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "You should go, Bam-ie's waiting for you."
"Okay," he smiles, not making a move to leave just yet. "Can I get a kiss?"
"I don't know, can you?"
He scoffs and steps forward, cupping your face and pressing a few quick kisses to your mouth. "Before I leave," he murmurs against your lips. "I have a question I've been meaning to ask you."
"What is it?"
"Will you be my date to Joon and Mai's wedding?"
Your disappointment is replaced with surprise and an overwhelming heat that starts to spread throughout your chest, bringing a flush to your cheeks.
"O-okay," you murmur shyly, feeling your heart rate pick up.
"Yeah? Gonna wear a pretty dress for me?"
His smile and his words almost turn your knees to jello, but you manage to keep yourself composed, at least on the outside.
"Yeah."
"You gonna let me take the pretty dress off afterwards?"
"Yeah," you whisper, smiling as he presses another lingering kiss to your mouth, your hands holding onto his shirt to steady yourself.
"Good. I'll see you later, yeah?" He nudges your nose with his, his smile not faltering as he pulls away, sliding his hand down your arm until it reaches your hand, giving it a little squeeze before slowly releasing it.
"Yeah...see you later," you smile, watching him walk down the hall.
He walks until he reaches the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside. He turns around to look at you down the hall, blowing you a quick kiss as the doors close. You have to wait until the elevator is fully closed before you let out a squeal, feeling like you're sixteen again.
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< Part 4 || Part 6 >
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ficview · 1 month ago
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View - Muggle Studies is Economics in Disguise
By May_May_o_o
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41205912?view_full_work=true
A short and fun fic that's really quite sensible if you think about it.
Tom Riddle, the DADA professor, is first annoyed, then intrigued by Harry Potter, the Muggle Studies professor whose class is suspiciously popular among students. Just what is he teaching in there?
Pros:
- It's the perfect length to help kill time while waiting at your dentist's lobby (which is where I read it). Short yet contains within it a fully developed world with likeable characters and complete plotlines.
- Logical plot development - the very premise of the story and where it leads to just make sense. Characters make informed, reasonable choices. For a borderline crack world, the decisions made are entirely rational.
- And the author does it all with a touch of mischievous humour that puts a smile on your face! Watch out for the scene where Tom demands his followers to study IB Economics after hearing Harry discuss the flaws of Wizarding Economy to his students.
- The ending is sooo satisfying! All I'm saying is everyone gets a good ending, and to know more, just read it. And check out the final author notes for a cute and clever wrap up!
Cons:
- The Tomarry relationship, while pleasant in its own way, felt cookie-cutter and had cursory buildup and payoff. But who cared when the fun more than made up for it?
A zesty romp that deftly covers enough material for a long novel in its crisp length! I'm definitely revisiting this one.
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artbyblastweave · 1 year ago
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I interpret the first two Bioshock games as a cosmic horror story that the protagonists are just glancing off the outer edges of. Slugs don't do that to your genetic code, for one thing, and genetic code has very little bearing on pyrokinesis or teleportation or the ability to grow swarms of bees inside yourself. It's also mighty convenient that Ryan happened to have picked the one spot in the ocean that happens to have The Slugs That Can't Do That- it's obviously part of the mythmaking of Ryan Amusements that they put such a fine point on where he abruptly stopped the boat and declared that he was going to put down the foundations of Rapture, and there's a dash of narrative anthropic principle on top of that, but it's still very convenient. And In terms of aesthetic and narrative outcome Rapture from 1960 onward is certainly checking all the boxes; madness, mutation, moisture. Impossibly grandiose societies brought down by hubris, science run amok, "look upon my works ye mighty", horrible familial truths, the whole shebang. And of course you have that brilliant light below Persephone.
The story doesn't necessarily parse as cosmic horror immediately because it fronts the impression that there's a grounded explanation for every insane thing that happens. You're supposed to just take it as part of the premise that they can build something like Rapture with human technology in 1945. You mostly hear about plasmids from professionals doing practical research and development with them, so you get the impression that there's a well-understood body of science here that just happens to be outside of your personal understanding. But for every Professor Armitage who understands the whole shape of the Dunwich Horror, there are a hundred Massholes who just saw a barn explode for no reason and now have to cope with the very real invisible something laying waste to the countryside regardless of the full truth of the matter. And from within the exploding barn of Rapture it doesn't matter to Jack or Delta whether the foundations were laid down atop Rl'yeh or whether ADAM is actually the extracted blood of a Great Old One or whatever the fuck. Maybe there's someone down there who understands the deep lore and went mad from the revelation in the genre typical way. But nothing about the situation requires you that you dig that deep to develop a working understanding of what's going on. Rapture's downfall is totally legible as a mundane death spiral of bad leadership, shoddy ideology, economic pressures and bog-standard human greed. Impossible weapons swung in careless arcs by human hands.
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mariacallous · 1 year ago
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This is from 2022.
The claim: Bob Cratchit was destitute but still earned more than the U.S. minimum wage
The work of Victorian-era novelist Charles Dickens went viral over the holidays, when a tweet used his 1843 novella "A Christmas Carol" to make a point about the minimum wage. 
Posted Dec. 19 and retweeted by over 14,000 users, it centered on Bob Cratchit. The character works as a clerk and accountant for wealthy Ebenezer Scrooge yet struggles to provide enough food and clothing for his wife and six children.
According to the post – which was screenshotted and shared by many Facebook users – Cratchit symbolizes "destitution" in the novella but would have made an inflation-adjusted wage of around $13.50 per hour – almost twice the federal minimum wage. 
"Time for your annual reminder that, according to A Christmas Carol, Bob Cratchit makes 15 shillings a week. Adjusted for inflation, that's $530.27/wk, $27,574/yr, or $13.50/hr," the tweet reads.
"Most Americans on minimum wage earn less than a Dickensian allegory for destitution."
If he were alive today, would Cratchit actually be earning more than the minimum wage?
The wage figure is roughly accurate. But as independent fact-checking organizations have reported, the claim is more complicated than the post makes it seem.
Chris Thompson, who posted the original tweet, told USA TODAY in a LinkedIn message that the claim came from an article published by the site EverythingWhat, which he said he found after "a very cursory Google search."
The tweet drew thousands of comments and shares on Facebook, Instagram and other platforms. More than 30,000 users shared a screenshot of the tweet posted by liberal Facebook page The Other 98% – though it later updated its post to state that "this post has been fact checked and found to be False."
Cratchit's salary roughly equivalent to $14.20 per hour
Inflation is typically measured using the Consumer Price Index, which looks at annual increases in the average price of a standard bundle of consumer goods and services.
But this kind of measurement can't accurately estimate Cratchit's salary, said Samuel H. Williamson, professor emeritus of economics at Miami University of Ohio.
"The term ‘inflation-adjusted salary’ is very misleading because it implies that ... these 'adjusted' salaries can buy a similar set of goods and services," Williamson said. "But over time the bundle becomes so different that the comparison is ludicrous. Cell phones with quill pens, etc.”
While no measure is perfect, What is the relative value of Bob Cratchit’s 15 shillings a week in 1843? of the modern-day equivalent of a 15-shilling wage in 1843, Williamson said. This indicator adjusts a wage based on the inflation of the average worker’s pay each year.
Using this method, Cratchit’s 15 shillings per week would translate to a relative labor earnings value of £611.30 per week, according to MeasuringWorth, an inflation calculation resource that Williamson co-founded. At the current conversion rate, that's about $850 per week and $43,000 annually. 
Keep in mind that, in Victorian England in the 1840s, laborers were expected to work 10 hours per day, six days per week. Assuming Scrooge didn’t make Cratchit work longer hours, that means Cratchit was making the equivalent of $14.20 per hour, adjusting for wage inflation.
That would make his pay nearly double the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour, though 30 U.S. states have set higher pay floors. 
However, that wage would put the Cratchits below the federal poverty line of $44,660 for a family of eight. 
Cratchit wasn’t 'destitute' for his time
By calling Cratchit "a Dickensian allegory for destitution," the tweet implies he was paid a relatively low wage for a person in the Victorian era. But that isn't the full story. 
Joel J. Brattin, a professor of English at Worcester Polytechnic Institute who has researched Dickens’ work, told USA TODAY that although Cratchit was paid a relatively low wage for his skillset and time period, he wasn’t the poorest person in Victorian London. For example, manual laborers were paid around 8 shillings per week, he said, and there wasn't a minimum wage.
“It is important to note that Bob Cratchit was not destitute,” Brattin said in an email. “Rather, he was paid little, and had a large family – six children and a wife – to feed and clothe.”
Peter Gurney, a history professor at the University of Essex who has studied consumption and consumer goods in the Victorian era, said fixating on Cratchit's wage takes away from the message of "A Christmas Carol."
“The important thing is that the Cratchit family are almost starving all year round, and Dickens shows how Christmas makes things worse, exposing extremes of poverty and wealth and the erosion of Christian charity by laissez-faire individualism," Gurney said in an email.
Our rating: Partly false
Based on our research, we rate PARTLY FALSE the claim that Cratchit was destitute but still earned more than the U.S. minimum wage. Based on wage inflation, his salary of 15 shillings per week translates to around $43,000 per year, or $14.20 per hour with the standard 60-hour workweek of his time. So it's true that he would have made more than the federal minimum wage.
However, he was not "destitute" for his time, experts told USA TODAY. Cratchit's pay as an educated clerk, while meager for a family of eight, was higher than that of many other workers. There was no minimum wage in Victorian London. In addition, the standard and cost of living today are so different that comparing wages directly is misleading.
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peachmangofuzz · 1 year ago
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our future lives - shohei ohtani soft au
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trope: childhood best friends to strangers
word count: 5.9k words
author notes: (this will be a bit long so if you want to jump straight to the fic, go right ahead!)
I wrote this in retrospect to the days i spent with my high school newspaper publication team. Recently,  an old friend and org mate from the school newspaper (who i have not spoken to in years) followed me on instagram and it took me down memory lane.
This was a time when a boy who (coincidentally enough, also played for a sports team) used to read drafts of my silly stories and poems of fictional heartbreak and would compliment my writing all the time. He was my best friend until he wasn’t.
This was when everything was awkward, confusing and unsettling; when I didn’t believe love could blossom beyond friendship. And when it was already right in front of me, I chose to run away.
With Shohei Ohtani as my current muse, I write this to close the what ifs our high school memories have left us. And when love finally visits us once again, instead of running away, maybe, just maybe, we’d be able to look at it straight in the face and say, "welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay."
Songs i listened to while writing: (repeatedly, repulsively, and obsessively)
Right where you left me - taylor swift (evermore)
Shouldn’t be - luke chiang
You are in love - taylor swift (1989)
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
==============================
I didn’t feel anything at first but when realization sank, I almost doubled over. A familiar feeling punctured somewhere on the middle of my chest, like a pounding, beating of a drum. While an economics faculty was waiting for me to check out her library card, she chatted animatedly with her colleague and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. When the words “homecoming”, and “shohei ohtani” were mentioned in one sentence, I almost dropped the books on the professor’s feet.
“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation… Did you say Shohei Ohtani is coming back…?” I croaked.
“Yes! It’s on the news everywhere. He’s attending his former school’s foundation anniversary as a baseball alum.” She hushed excitedly. She almost looked like she was blushing. 
“Professor, didn’t you graduate from Rosewood High School, too?” 
She and her friend looked at me expectantly, like I’m some sort of Bingo announcer about to shout their magic winning number. I nodded slowly, a small smile formed my lips.
“Wow! You and Shohei Ohtani were schoolmates, then! Were you in the same year?”
“Has he always been so tall?”
“Did he have any girlfriends back then?”
The pair of them launched their questions like an automatic rifle, I swung albeit defensively, and yet I couldn’t duck myself for cover in time.
I shrugged and quietly said, “I didn’t really know him that much, he was always just playing baseball, I guess.” 
Before they could respond, I pushed my thick-rimmed glasses back to the bridge of my nose and went back to my Excel spreadsheets. They said their thank yous and skipped their way out of the library. 
Finally, quiet again. 
Like every typical librarian, one glare from me could snap chatty visitors’ mouths at an instant. I reveled in the silence of my humble workplace, with shelves taller than any average person, filled with books old and new. I could spend hours in the silence, tapping on my computer archives, or shelving books from the returned pile. This is the job of my dreams. Customary, routine, familiar, comfort zone.  
I realized that I have been tapping the letter Y key from the keyboard, lost in thought. I couldn’t believe the words I heard earlier could ever be strung in one sentence, not even in my wildest dreams. I tapped my legs restlessly. It couldn’t be true, could it?
How many popular Shohei Ohtanis could make girls this flustered?
There’s a one-hundred one percent chance that the result is, well, one. 
To preserve my peace of mind, I decided to google him, and when the results showed the rumor to be true, I almost spiraled in my seat. 
Did you know Shohei Ohtani in high school? The words from the two professors rang in my head. 
I knew damn well who Shohei Ohtani is.
Shohei and I have been friends since the day we learned how to talk. We lived on the same block, sat together in class, shared snacks during recess, we’d bicker loudly and fight like the worst of all enemies. According to our mothers, when he pulled my hair after I had claimed his Spiderman lego toy,  I screamed so loud it could be heard two houses down the block. He felt so guilty about it and rushed to peck me on the cheeks so I’d stop bawling. Not sure how accurate our mothers’ anecdotes are, if they had been exaggerated or not, but they said, after that fight, little Shohei had treated the little me sweeter after that. 
On good days, we played swings in the playground. We walked home together and would visit each other’s houses to play board games and Bomberman until it was no longer comfortable to stay in each other’s bedrooms without getting weird ideas.
Upon reaching puberty, I had grown in breast size, started getting my periods and hormonal mood swings while Shohei had grown a foot taller and his shoulders stretched widely. He lost his baby fat and developed muscle definition after playing sports. It was a time in our lives when it was officially awkward to hold hands while crossing the street, or for him to playfully grab me by the neck. If we did, we would get notes from the schoolmaster for indecency.
It wasn’t only the skinship that changed. Shohei grew to be more popular with the girls when he performed well in high school baseball. He was tall, fit, respectful and most importantly, he had a kind smile that would make your heart do a tap dance. And so my heart wore dancing shoes everyday.
While Shohei was busy playing his ball games, I joined the school paper as a news writer. The club meetings took up most of my afternoons then when i used to spend it by waiting for Shohei. By the time he finished practice, I would still be in the school library, either my face buried in a stack of books, or fingers furiously tapping an article on my laptop.
“You can go first. I don’t think I can go home yet, not unless this article writes itself.” I said one afternoon, not looking up. I was preparing an article for the school sports festival, where Shohei was the third-year representative and captain. I heard him walk up to me and braced myself. Tap tap tap.
He set his gym bag and batting equipment on the table and sat on the chair beside me.
“I’ll wait.” He said calmly. He crossed his arms over the table and closed his eyes, as if to sleep. He sat there in silence, baking in the sounds of my keyboard smashing my unnerving thoughts and emotions. 
Suffice to say, I didn’t get anything done after that. The smell of soap and cologne crept up to my nose and his broad shoulders lightly touched mine. Him sitting so innocently with his head on the table was enough of a distraction. It also didn’t help that on my periphery, I knew that he was facing my direction. In the next three minutes or so, I allowed myself to stare at his face: bags under his eyes were slowly showing, his well-defined nose, his mouth slightly agape, with evidence of picking and biting the lower lip skin.
When he startled awake, I scrambled to close the laptop monitor so loudly I thought I had cracked the screen. Embarrassed and face probably beet red, I stood up to leave. He carried all of my bags that day. When I offered to carry his gym bag, he refused.
In the last few weeks of that semester, I had become interim editor-in-chief. Shohei’s games had ended and our deadline for the year-end publication drew nearer. That meant I had made the library my second home like a bridge troll, only allowing brief, important conversations. My entire table was covered with mock newspaper clippings, sample layouts, glue, stacks and stacks of drafts that went through multiple, desperate, bloody revisions. This and the rest of my academic subjects I balanced gingerly on a thin line. Shohei would continue to visit and wait by the other corner of the library, pretending to read mystery thriller books he picked from the shelves. Most of the time, he slept. I never saw him study, even in the library. He didn’t need to as he aces all his subjects while hitting home runs on the field. I always suspected that he astral projects in his sleep and studies inside the realm of dreams. That’s probably why no matter how much he slept, he was still constantly tired. 
In other words, Shohei always seemed like he never had to try. He was good at everything. And I always had to work hard just to be able to stand on the same playing field as he is, at least once or twice. 
One particular day, when afternoon classes were canceled to give way to the club meetings, I was in my usual spot in the library with Zumi, our layout artist and a third-year from class B. We were finalizing the layout design before submitting it to the publishing house. Shohei was in baseball practice and had been MIA from the library all week.
A group of girls suddenly filled the library.
“He’s not here!” I heard one of them say. They noticed Zumi and I chatting quietly in the corner. 
“Hey, you’re Y/N right?” A girl with jet black hair siad. Her skin was white as porcelain. She had retainers on, the ones that looked unfairly pretty on lucky pretty girls.
I nodded.
“Are you Ohtani’s girlfriend?”
“Excuse me?” I blurted out, eyes almost popping out of my eye sockets.
She chuckled. “Right? I couldn’t believe it myself too. I know Ohtani only sees you as his best friend.”
I couldn’t respond right away. It was true but why did it sting so much?
“But they’re always together, I saw her give him a lunchbox during breaks.” A petite girl with a wolf haircut emerged from the sides. She had her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. 
The rest of the group murmured in unison.
“Our mothers are close friends, so it was natural for us to grow up being friends, too.” I said irritably. Not only was this irrelevant but it was so annoying that a bunch of girls would question her decade-long friendship. 
“I don’t have to spell out the dynamics of our friendship to you.”
“If that bothers you so much, why don’t you personally tell Ohtani’s mother to stop asking me to bring his lunch boxes for him.”
It was quiet for a few seconds. I was afraid that it would escalate into a screaming match or a brawl that could result in us being kicked out–or worse, banned–from the library. The herd of girls glared at me and I glared right back. 
“Um, a-as you can see, he is not here.” Zumi breaks the silence, clearly intimidated but she soldiers on. “And you’re disrupting our meeting.” 
The first girl gives me a pointed look and spins on her heel and the rest follows. 
Zumi sighed in relief. “Oh my god, Y/N, I thought I would experience my first visit to the schoolmaster’s office before graduation.” She rubbed her sweaty palms together. 
I stifled a giggle, anger fading. Zumi’s gentle personality softened me right away. I couldn’t help but smile at her. 
“Don’t worry, Zumi, we don’t start fights but we sure as hell can end them.”
Shohei and I met less and less after that. I had purposely avoided him as much as I could because I still felt upset and he didn’t even have a vague idea about other girls spreading rumors about us. Another reason was I didn’t want to be referred to as “Shohei’s female best friend” anymore. His growing popularity in school made me only slink back down to the pits of the social hierarchy. 
I also wanted to take some time away and contemplate my feelings about our friendship. He’s only a friend I grew up with. We shared meals together and walked home together. He would hug me when I’m upset and I would console him when his anger skyrocketed. These are common best friend behaviors, right? So why else would it suddenly change? Why don’t we ever stay like this forever?
Weeks after my so-called Shohei blackout, I was left alone to clear the table I had claimed in the far corner of the library when Shohei popped in to visit.
The school year had finally come to a close, exams and ball games concluded, and the year-end paper was now distributed to everyone on campus: Shohei’s team pictured on the front page headline, declared as the year’s champions in inter-high school level.
He had a copy of the newspaper in his hand, grinning.
“Nice article, Y/N.” 
“Is it nice because it had your winning face covering the entire spread?” 
“I mean, you finally got an article on the front page!” He was waving the paper to you, pointing at the byline, as if you’ve never seen the layout more than a hundred times already. “Written by– your name! How cool is that!”
“My name is in a tiny font under your 32 font-size on the headline. I promise you, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is for me, though. I read it word for word. I loved it. You’re so good at words, Y/N” his eyes crinkled at the sides and I waved him off, blushing. 
“I’ve seen enough of this newspaper, I think I’m going to be nauseous.” you faked a retching sound.
“I’ve started seeing that damn thing in my dreams, Sho.” You grimaced. “Please hide that from me. Or I will rip it into shreds.”
Shohei giggled boisterously. You immediately swiped your hands over his mouth.
“Sshh! The librarian will hear you!” You looked around nervously, relaxing after realizing the librarian was nowhere in sight. “I don’t want to get kicked out on our last day of school.”
He held your arms away and uncovered his mouth from your hands. “Seriously, though, I’m proud of you. You worked so hard for this all semester.”
“Well, the subject was interesting to write about.” 
“Is that right?” he smiled, mischief glinted in his eyes. 
“”Rosewood’s revival after years of being dormant in high school baseball” was a pretty cool angle to write.” I said. And it truly was. The moment I saw the efforts and hardwork of Shohei and his inspiring leadership setting a momentum into the games, I knew right away that I had to call dibs on the story. 
“Uh-huh.” He was just looking at me, hands still wrapped around my arms, locking me in place. 
“It was a story worthy to tell and I just happened to tell the story. It all just–” I tried to mash my hands together, demonstrating the words synonymous to merging, fusing, blending. 
He pulls me close and rests his hand at the back of my neck. I could feel the snug of his embrace melting me into a puddle. He hesitates but leans in. It was soft, abrupt and merely testing the waters. He pulled back slightly to look at my reaction. I didn’t know what I looked like, but what I did know at that moment, my heart bounced uncontrollably like a basketball. I swear I thought it would burst my chest open. 
When I didn’t react or push him back, he leaned in for another try, this time, with more intent, meaning, and weight on my lips. When we parted, he looked away sheepishly that all I had to do in response to the kiss was to pull him in a tight hug. We stayed like that for a few more minutes because neither of us knew when to let go, or even wanted to. We just stood there relishing our newfound warmth while concealed in between the quiet and that precious corner space that held us. I don’t know how to define this feeling yet… but I could get used to this.  
Nothing further ever happened after that sweet library moment because the next day, we received news that Shohei Ohtani was granted a full scholarship overseas. Thanks to his impressive performance during the last game. Ohtani joked that it was mainly because my frontpage piece was so well-written, it moved the university scouts’ ice-cold hearts to tears.
“You’d be an idiot not to go.”  I was at the kitchen counter of our home, setting the newly baked chocolate chip cookies out of the oven to cool down. It was a Saturday morning and Shohei visited, like any other day. 
“I’d be alone, though.” he was wistfully eyeing the cookies on the wire rack. “I’m scared I might fail and be a disappointment to my dad.”
His arm slowly reached for the cookies but I immediately swatted him away.
“It’s still hot, dumbass.” I gave him the bowl where the cookie dough was originally mixed. He dutifully scooped the remains and popped a finger in his mouth, he grinned, satisfied. 
“You won’t be alone because everybody likes you. And you won’t be a disappointment because you work twice as hard than everyone else. You’re Shohei Ohtani, for god’s sake.”
He doubted but I knew what he was thinking because I was trying not to think about it, too. If this was about the kiss, we can let it go. We can forget about it. It was just a kiss, this was our future and it shined brightly in front of him. It would make me a selfish person to try and block that from him.
“There won’t be a Y/N there, though.” he said, eyes trained to the cookie dough he held. “My best friend won’t be there.”
“I’ll be right here when you come back. Besides, we can always email each other, like we always did in computer class.”
I didn’t tell him this but it also broke my heart to say those words. I will definitely miss him, sure. He’s been a constant presence in my life that once he leaves, it would definitely leave a big hole in my life. 
I wanted to tell him that whatever happened in the library that day will always be etched in my memory as long as I lived, that I wanted it as much as he did, and it hurt to say goodbye to a possibility, to something that had barely even started. If I had told him that, he would’ve turned down the offer right away.
So I didn’t, and so he left. 
Ohtani and I would email constantly during our very first year in uni. He would send me pictures of the new places he visited, food he tasted, with little descriptions every now and then. You knew he was trying to include me in his new life as much as he could. In return, I showed him how I continued my simple, quiet life, how I met new friends at uni, how I ate at new hole-in-the-wall restaurants with the promise that we’d try them out when he returned back home.
Of course that didn’t last very long as life apparently came in between us. Long training hours for Shohei, and newer opportunities showed up in my doorstep as I got a partial scholarship and part-time job as a student assistant.
It went on like that for a very long time as we kept missing each other’s emails. I would already be asleep when he sends his messages and he’d be out in the field by the time I could reply. Sometimes I don’t receive anything at all at weeks’ a time.
One day, after two weeks of radio silence, I heard a girl in the washroom gush about Ohtani’s popularity overseas and how he has gotten a girlfriend. They were pretty serious, she would go on to say. She had long black hair with a pretty slender body, something like his type. 
I stood there, hands dripping wet, listening to something I normally wouldn’t believe unless he confirmed it himself. The thing is, I haven’t heard from him in weeks, so I didn’t have a choice but to believe in the words from the grapevine.
I stopped waiting for his emails to come. If he sent me new ones, I didn’t check. I busied myself in the halls of the library studying, reading and writing, writing and writing my feelings away.
I wrote until my hands got tired, until I spilled everything I needed to forget into paper. Until I welcomed a new love into my life. He was also tall, kind, and cheerful. He respected my time and he loved going to new coffee shops with me. At that point, I was overfilled with joy and contentment that I barely thought about Shohei anymore. In the back of my mind, the chapter of Shohei Ohtani is now closed and my rosy high school life became a beloved, worn out book that I no longer revisited.
Later I learned in life that some things, despite making you undoubtedly happy, could still end horribly.
My relationships turned sour, some of my friendships fell out, but the worst part of it all was when my dad had a heart attack. 
He died six months later. 
It was pretty much autopilot after that. I could only ever handle so much, I don’t think I am as brave as Joan D’arc to handle ten, twenty more scars. Not when two of the best people I loved have left my life. Not when the person I want to run the most to is… no longer there to meet me. 
I was a student intern at the archives section when the post for head librarian was vacated. I’ve already applied to multiple companies in the private and public sectors and kept getting waitlisted but the university hired me on the spot. A week after graduation, I had started my full-time job at the library, and it felt like I was somehow glued back together.
XXX
The cans of beer clinked together as I swayed the black plastic on my way home from the convenience store. Nothing beats a cold can of beer after a full meal. Also because “Shohei Ohtani” is a name I never thought I’d hear again in this lifetime. So much so, that a homecoming sounded so ridiculous that if someone ever suggested that idea to me before today, I would have laughed at their faces. It was an appropriate time to wallow in my drunken thoughts.
Four years was a long time for anyone to change. It was long enough to switch jobs, get promoted, to save up money and travel, to save up money and get married and have kids, or none at all, to study for a new degree, to meet new people and develop romantic feelings for them, to lose such romantic feelings, to forgive and move on, to develop new habits, and it is also long enough for character development if you think your personality needed an overhaul. Four years was a long time apart, a long time to forget each other to even be considered taboo. And yet. 
And yet. 
XXX
My phone buzzed against my jeans pocket. It was a text from Zumi. She now works freelance and designs her own stationery and stickers sold at mega discount stores all over the country.
“You wouldn’t believe what I just heard.” Zumi texted. Even before she could conjure a follow-up text, I responded right away.
Y/N: “Someone’s coming back to town?...”
Zumi: “WUT.”
Zumi: “U KNEW? AND DIDN'T TELL ME #betrayal”
Y/N: “I heard about it a couple of days ago and blacked out after 3 cans of beer. Sorry, Joomi-chan.”
Y/N: “I didn’t drink only because of the news, though. I ate almost 2 KGs of wagyu, too. It was the perfect drink to end the day.”
Y/N: “I ate ice cream, too."
Y/N: “I’m rambling. I”ve been restless since I heard about it.”
Y/N: “I’ll be okay, though. I always have been.”
I was about to put my phone down after the text blasts I sent to assure her when text bubbles appeared. Typing. I waited.
Zumi: “It’s alright to admit you’re not okay about this, Y/N”
Zumi: “He was a big part of your life, who ghosted you, asshole move btw, and his head’s probably gotten too big for his own good. I wonder how he walks around with that swollen head without toppling over.
Zumi: “Also, I’m only saying all of this because my role as Y/N’s only best friend is currently being threatened. I forgive you though!”
I had to laugh. Zumi was always fond of Ohtani and I even back in high school. Whenever she had time, she would join us on our katsu curry runs and hated matcha, while Ohtani and I loved it. She always preferred strawberry. She was the perfect balance in our little trio. And now, she is my voice of reason.
I paused to reread the text. Am I really okay about this? It’s a fairly small town, the chances of running into him are slim, but never zero. And what if I do meet him by chance, what should I do?
Zumi: “Text me when you feel like drinking again. I’ll sneak out and join you in solidarity!” 
Before I could send the cutest peach butt sticker to Zumi, a message from an unregistered number popped up on my notifications.
“Hi, Y/N. It’s Shohei Ohtani. I got your number from your mom. I’m sorry for being abrupt like this but I just flew back from the States and will be spending a few days at home.
Do you want to meet up for some curry katsu for old time's sake?”
Holy hell, I stared at the messages in disbelief. Am I being punked right now? Where is the hidden camera? If the universe is listening right now, please, swallow me whole into the earth right now. 
I clenched the phone hard, against my chest. You are better now. Don’t fumble. 
Tap tap tap.
XXX
I don’t know what had gotten into my head that when I responded a few hours later, had agreed to meet up after work for curry and drinks. Future me would like to smack past me of five hours ago for making a decision like this. 
But here I am now, just a few stores away from the curry place I had suggested for dinner. 
Suddenly feeling conscious, I stopped by a convenience store that had a convex mirror on top of the corner shelves. I swiped lipstick on my lips and powdered my nose. I also bought mints just to play for time. I worked up the courage to text Zumi.
Y/N: So, please tell me I’m doing the wrong thing and I will turn back.
Zumi: What happened?
Y/N: After we texted earlier, Shohei texted me out of the blue and that he’s already in the town.
Zumi: He WHAT???
Zumi: Are you telling me he asked to meet up and you said yes?
Y/N: You should switch careers and be a fortune teller instead.
Zumi: You WHAT???
Y/N: Pls, pls, pls tell me I’m wrong for doing this.
She didn’t respond right away. Her text bubbles went up and down infrequently. I stood outside of the restaurant, in the cold of the night waiting for her response.
Zumi: How do YOU feel about it?
Zumi: If I were you, I, who have witnessed all the carnage all these years, I would do it. I know if you turn your back now, you’d spend another four, five years wondering what would’ve happened if you chose differently. 
Zumi: Don’t try to rationalize it, Y/N. You’re panicking now. But I know in your heart, you want answers. You want this. So suck it up and be a big gworl! 
She resonated exactly how I felt about this. So why was I hesitating?
I walked up to the restaurant and scanned the room. It was almost empty after dinner hours, except for a few white collar workers catching up on late night meals.
And then I saw him. He sat at the back of the room, his back facing the front of the shop. I could recognize those wide shoulders anywhere in a heartbeat. I made a beeline towards him.
He wore a blue polo buttoned up to his chest, creasing at the shoulders as he slouched forward. He looked absolutely different from the memory of the boy who used to carry my bags. His hair grew into thick waves and his cheeks and jawline was chiseled and defined to the bone, revealing more of his handsome face.
He stood up, smiling widely and threw his hands around me, a whiff of his sandalwood perfume and the feel of his hair pressed to my cheek brought everything back: spending lazy days in the library, the night strolls on the way home from school, sharing twin popsicle ice creams, the warmth of his hands intertwined with mine, that last first kiss. I pulled away and he gestured to me to sit down. As we both sat down, I thought, You are always finding ways to get my hopes up. 
We stared at each as I settled down on my seat. For a few moments, I felt the room was charged with cold air. His eyes traced my face making me more and more self-conscious, I had to break the ice. 
“The chicken curry katsu is good here, you know.” I said, as a waiter approached and served us water. “But if you prefer pork, it’s heaven too.”
I sipped the cold water nervously and fidgeted the hem of my plaid skirt. 
“It’s been a while.” I started.
“I’ve been busy.” He started to explain. I hate how he thinks this was his decision, how he didn’t even consider the fact that I’ve been busy, too. “How about you? I’ve stopped hearing about you since…”
“Things happened.” I simplified, but really, I wanted to give him a rundown of how things have more or less worked out okay for me–how I am doing well at my job, taking my Masters, thinking about traveling to Southeast Asia with Zumi, spending time with family on weekends, trying to do pilates at least thrice a month, and catching up with some old friends whenever we got to clear our schedules. How I am, despite his absence, was not entirely miserable. But I don’t want him to think that I am just doing this to prove a point, so I coated a response with the standard, “But I’ve been fine, thanks. How are you?”
“Same old, I’m here for business and something else. I finally got the courage to tell you this now.” He said, finishing up the last of his meal and downing his glass of water before speaking again.
I honestly don’t want to know, I want to order another glass of beer and fall asleep drunk. I want to crawl into my bed and waddle in self-pity at how I’ve spiraled back to square one, of how after all these years, I am still hopelessly in love with this unattainable man, who thinks we are still each other’s best friends after years of no contact. Instead I responded cautiously, “What is it?”
He inched forward and leaned his face on his right hand. “There’s this girl.”
I held my breath and braced myself for impact. 
“There’s this girl. We almost always never stood on the same foot. She hated sports and hated standing in the sun to see me play, but watched regardless because she had to write an article about it.
“When we finally started realizing we liked each other, I received my scholarship grant and moved overseas. If she got mad about me going MIA, I could've explained better to her that I had an accident during Spring training and was in a hospital bed for almost a month. Had she checked her emails, she would know. But she never replied. Ever.
“After a few months, I heard from our friends that she finally got a boyfriend and was in a happy, healthy relationship. I thought, ‘Oh. Good for her! I'm happy for her. Someone near to take care of her.’ but was I really, though? I got myself a girlfriend, too and forgot about this girl for a while.
“But I heard about her dad’s passing and I tried to reach her but I couldn’t. Her home phone number was disconnected, my mom said they moved out of the block and she still won’t respond to my emails.
“I couldn’t be there for her but I thought, “she'd be with her boyfriend. She’ll have someone to lean on. But then her friends said they had broken up long before the incident. She carried all those baggage all by herself? Who did she have to lean on? Was she eating okay? Was she sleeping well? Does she still smile when she watches puppies run around bumping into things?
“It seemed like the timing was never on our side. She was available when I wasn’t, I was free on the days that she was occupied. 
“I’ve always wondered if the universe played some practical joke on the two of us. If somehow, they'd ever allow me the chance to meet her again. I’ve been waiting for her for a long time now.
“Y/N, do you think if I ask her now, she’d finally be as ready as I am to meet her?”
I exhaled and felt my heart pounding. There is the thrum in my chest that felt all too familiar. Have we been missing each other’s chances all this time? Have I been getting on and off the wrong platform, just as much as he did, because we didn’t know what we wanted when we were barely twenty?
“I think you should ask her before it’s too late.” I said, catching myself, still staying on that third person narration. I mulled over the times we constantly missed each other like he had pointed out. He had been there for me when I was searching for myself and what I wanted to do, and I had watched him from afar when he was trying to meet his dreams, to the point of pushing him far away. 
“I’m asking you now. I was always late, wasn’t I?”
His brown eyes bored into mine, expectant, hopeful. “Yes. You were...but you’re here now..." I trailed off, thinking how much shock I was to hear Shohei's speech. I wondered if responding to my real feelings was the right thing to do. He had his accident, my dad's funeral, the miscommunication between us. The sudden falling out. I wondered, if after all this time, someone like me would still be worth restarting over with.
"...and I think, you’re just in time, Sho.” 
He smiled widely, showing the crinkles on the sides of his eyes, he exhaled as if he had been holding his breath all this time.
"Thank god. I was almost certain you'd say no and disappear on me again." he laughed.
Freckles that I've never seen before popped over his nose and cheeks. So much has changed in his appearance but it was the same smile of the boy I love since eighteen.
“I’m home,” he whispers.
“Welcome back,” I said, finally smiling at him, too.
Shohei stands up and offers his hand as we exit the restaurant; I take it and interlace our fingers. For the first time in a long time, the tap dancing of my calloused heart has returned ever so exhilarating, like a lost pulse bringing me back to life. We are catching up on lost time, and for whatever fragment of memory that may have escaped through the cracks, we’ll slowly string them together. It doesn’t matter how many possibilities we’ve missed in the last four years of being apart. The important thing is this possibility, the right here and right now.
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