#cheater!harry
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Babe!! Can we get some Cheater H smut where heâs at the gym and heâs fucking Reader and then his wife comes in but he keeps going and she doesnât notice? I need that so bad OMG
I Donât Wanna Talk To You*
warnings: smut, cheating, dry humping, unprotected sex, praise, dumbification, lil bit of exhibitionism, creampie
pairings: cheater harry x reader
masterlist | harry styles masterlist
~
âHarry?â YN calls, closing his front door behind her as she steps out of her shoes and makes her way further inside. She takes a peek at every room inside on the first floor of the house, frowning when she doesnât see him in any of them. His car is definitely in the driveway and his location definitely says heâs home, so she heads up to the bedroom to see if heâs there. She finds the bed unmade but his slippers are still there, so sheâs left to believe he must be in the basement.
She quickly jogs quietly down the stairs, the sounds of grunts and pants leading her directly to where he is. She steps inside the open door of his home gym, and lo and behold, she finds Harry in all his glory, in the middle of a drop set of deadlifts. His muscles are on full display, his back flexing with each rep. He hasnât noticed her yet, so she takes the time to admire, subconsciously squeezing her thighs together at the thought of him making those sounds because of her; straining above her the way he is now.
The grunts havenât stopped, the noises only fuelling her crude thoughts about the man sheâs been dating for a year now. It only continues for about three more minutes, and then sheâs watching him as he walks over to the wall nearest him and places the dumbbells down, squatting down to take a sip of his water. Everything he does ignites a fire in her thatâs unexplainable. Her thighs are beginning to ache with how hard sheâs squeezing them together, and they damn near snap in half when he finally turns around and notices her, his eyes lighting up and a dimpled grin covering his face immediately.
His eyes trail over her body as he strides toward her, and her heart is beating so fast she thinks sheâll pass out right then. He doesnât even try to hide it when his eyes linger on her chest before trailing down to her thighs and heâs smirking when he sees how tight sheâs clenching them. The sight ignites something in him as well, his cock stirring slightly in the loose shorts heâd chosen to workout in, but he forces it down. When he reaches her he leans down and intentionally presses a sweet kiss to her lips, moving away before she can deepen it. It pulls a needy whine from her lips as she chases his with hers, and he gives in immediately, wrapping one hand around her throat as their lips meet again.
Sheâs shifting on her feet and moaning into the kiss, nearly melting into the floor when his tongue starts to explore her mouth. With his free hand he reaches for the front of her tube top and frees her breasts, making her groan as the cool air of the gym begins to harden them. He begins to roll one between his thumb and forefinger, separating their lips and pressing their foreheads together to gauge her reaction.
âMâglad youâre here, baby,â he coos, rubbing a thumb over the hardening bud. She smiles brightly at his words, thinking heâs finally going to give her what sheâs literally craving right now, but he doesnât. âNeed a spot for these bench presses, my love. Canât be getting stuck,â he finishes, a cheeky smile playing on his lips.
Her smile falters just a bit as he grabs her hand and leads her to where heâll be working next, and then heâs climbing onto the bench. Sheâs just standing there sort of awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what he wants her to do. âCmon, hop on top,â he teases, chuckling as her eyes go wide, but she does as he says.
As soon as sheâs comfortable, he goes straight into his sets, and he canât even lie and say that he doesnât exaggerate his grunts a little bit because he knows what they do to her. The fact that sheâs sat right atop his abs isnât helping either, she can feel each and every strain of his muscles whenever he goes to push the bar back up. The thin grey biker shorts sheâd worn today and forgone panties with donât stand a chance with how wet she is, and when she feels his abs graze her swollen clit it takes everything in her not to cry out in pleasure.
Harry just acts as if heâs none the wiser, continuing his set like he doesnât feel the small amount of wetness sheâs left on his stomach, or the way she throbs each time his abs flex against her. It takes all of his restraint when he feels her give into the temptation and start to rock her hips down onto his abs, but he has absolutely none left when she just begins to moan shamelessly at the pleasure sheâs experiencing.
He places the bar on the rack and moves his hands to her hips, helping her to move along his abdomen. Her moans have picked up so loudly that theyâre echoing throughout the small room, and his cock has become rock hard in his shorts. All he can do is ignore the throbbing and watch YN as sheâs in absolute bliss above him, her head now thrown back as she gets closer to her orgasm.
Deciding to make the experience even filthier than it already is, Harry speaks up. âSuch a dirty girl,â he rasps, watching with hooded eyes as hers meet his. âSo desperate fâme youâre just grinding on my tummy, poor thing. Just couldnât wait, hm?â his teasing does nothing but urge her toward the edge, and sheâs nodding with all her energy, unable to find the words to express what sheâs feeling, but he knows. âI know, darling. Cum fâme. Cum all over me and Iâll give you what you need.â
Those words are all the encouragement she needed to cum, her hips stilling and her legs shaking slightly as her orgasm wracks her body, a loud cry of pleasure leaving her. She cums so hard tears form in her eyes and start to fall down her face as Harry helps her ride it out, gradually slowing the movement of her hips until sheâs grounded.
She eventually comes around breathlessly, her chest heaving. Harry doesnât waste another moment and he helps her off of him before heâs easing her onto the floor and on her back, climbing on top of her to bring their lips together. The angle provides him with the perfect angle to slot himself between her thighs and press his throbbing bulge against her, bucking his hips slightly at the feeling of her wetness beginning to leak onto his pants.
The action makes him graze her clit slightly, and she whines a bit in overstimulation before heâs pulling away to look down at her. He groans out loud and his cock twitches at the sight before him; her little grey shorts are absolutely drenched from her orgasm, the dark patch in the middle glistening in the fluorescent lighting of the gym.
He canât help but bring his hands to her waistband and begin helping her out of them, and he becomes absolutely feral when he sees a string of her wetness connecting her to the shorts. Bringing them down past her ankles, he takes just a moment to admire how beautiful she is, and any other time heâd simply eat her out until she passed out, but heâs too desperate to feel her.
So he frees himself from his pants and immediately lines himself up with her, pressing his tip into her swollen pussy. Her eyes flutter closed at the stretch, and when he just slowly pushes in until their hips meet, she wraps her legs around his hips to press him as deep as he can go. Theyâre both already wrecked, so close to cumming and he hasnât even started to fuck her properly. He gives her a bit to adjust before he pulls out and plunges back in just as deep as before, setting a punishing pace from the beginning.
YNâs moans and the sounds of their skin meeting are loud in his ears as the pace surprises her, and she can feel the light dusting of hair on his pubic bone grazing her clit, making the feeling that much better. Placing her hands on either sides of his head, she brings his lips to hers and moans against them as he literally fucks her like itâs their last time together. She can feel her orgasm burning deep in her belly, her back beginning to arch until theyâre interrupted.
The sound of a phone ringing on the floor next to them disrupts the little bubble they've formed, and when Harry pulls away to look down at it, a dark smile takes over his features as he realizes it's his wife FaceTiming him. He flips it around to show YN and her eyes widen when she realizes he hasn't slowed down even a little bit. She goes to ask him if they should stop but he speaks up before she can, pressing himself inside of her as deep as he can, making her choke on a moan.
"If I answer this call, will you be a good girl for me and keep quiet until I finish?" he asks her, reaching up with the hand that's not holding his phone and pressing his thumb into her mouth, a satisfied hum coming from deep within his chest when she nods enthusiastically, immediately closing her mouth around the digit.
He's still pressed deep inside of her their hips flush as he swipes the button to answer, turning his camera off as the call begins to connect. The moment it does, he can't resist the urge to roll his eyes as he sees his wife sitting at the fanciest brunch restaurant in the city, sipping on what he knows is the start of her bottomless mimosas. He can't even imagine the hit their bank account has taken, because he knows she loves to go shopping with her friends to show off and they always end up at the expensive restaurant they reside at now.
"Harryyy baby. I miss youuu," she drawls, the way she says his name making his nose scrunch up in disgust as she gets closer to the camera and forms her lips into a pout. He resists the urge to gag and decides to take his mind off of it, pulling his thumb from YN's mouth and bringing it down to her swollen clit and pressing down firmly before he begins to rub slow circles right on the head.
He watches YN in pure adoration as she brings her lips into her mouth in an attempt to keep quiet, and he decides to make things even harder by pulling out of her until his tip is resting at her entrance before slamming back into her. He thinks he'll cum right then when her eyes roll back into her head and her hands flail around to find anything to ground herself, a small broken whimper leaving her lips from the sensation. Heâs brought back to earth, though, by the annoying, high pitched sound that is his wifeâs voice.
âDo you want to say hi to my friends, they really want to meet you someday. I was thinking maybe they could come over to the house today?â she questions, her voice hopeful. But Harry couldnât care less, all he cares about is making YN cum again before he literally explodes inside of her without warning.
"No, I'm busy actually, about to eat. I'm gonna have to call you back when I'm done, okay?' he asks, not really waiting for an answer before he ends the call and tosses the phone to the side. He thinks he hears her call out an âI love youâ but he brushes it off quickly, picking up his pace and basking in the sound of YN's cry of relief at being able to moan as loudly as she wants. "Fuck, did so well for me," he praises, trying to stave off his orgasm until she cums, his mind turning to mush at how perfect she is and feels. She's just babbling wordlessly beneath him, the intensity of everything that's just happened only aiding in the building of her orgasm.
Heâs fucking her so deep she feels like she canât breathe, no thoughts in her head as he just continues to wreck her, his hands nearly bruising her hips with how tight heâs gripping them. He can feel her start to flutter around him a bit, making him groan at whatâs to come.
âThatâs, it, baby. Gonna cum for me?â he coos condescendingly, and all she can do is nod, making him chuckle at how wrecked she is beneath him. âMy dumb little baby, hm? Canât even think when Iâve got my cock in you,â he teases.
YNâs eyes are just squeezed shut at his words, her body going completely numb before tensing, her pussy locking down on him so tightly he struggles to move as her orgasm finally washes over her. The orgasm moves through her body in what feels like waves, small shocks causing her to twitch lightly. Seeing and feeling her in so much pleasure actually triggers Harryâs orgasm as well, and he buries himself so deep inside of her, his jaw dropped as a broken sob leaves his lips, his balls drawing up so tight he swears theyâll explode. Then the tension is leaving his body and he practically screams as cum starts to spurt from his reddened tip and deep into YN, painting her insides with his orgasm.
~
Thank you guys so much for reading! Feel free to leave any feedback you have, and as always, requests are open. Love you!!!
#harryistheonlyoneforme#harry styles fic#harry styles fic rec#harry styles smut#smut#harry styles#harry styles filth#harry related writings#dbf harry styles#dbf harry#cheater harry#cheater!harry#cheater h#cheater!h#cheater harry styles#cheater!harry styles#harry styles dirty imagine#harry styles dirty fanfiction#harry styles dirty one shot#smut blurb#blurb#request#anon#new fic
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i just wanna talk / h.s.
âI just want to talk.â
It was 3:36 in the morning and I was standing at my door face to face with boy that had completely shattered me 1 month prior. I was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and fuzzy socks. His eyes were rimmed with red and were glossy, a dead giveaway that he had been up crying for some time now.
âYou never just want to talk Harry.â I replied in a sour tone, partly from being woken up at such an early hour and partly to keep myself from crying.
âNo. You donât understand. I really need to talk to you Y/N.â
I had never heard such desperation in his voice. He was always confident, every word he ever spoke he was sure of it. But this time was different. He undoubtedly didnât have the right to feel hurt, but he did, and I felt bad for him.
âAlright, you can come in. But this isnât going- â
I wasnât even given the opportunity to finish my sentence before I was overwhelmed with his lips. One hand was on my hip guiding me towards my bed, while the other swiftly shut the door.
He was at an advantage, and he knew it.
It was like I was drunk off him. I couldnât focus and I couldnât get around to stopping what was happening. His lips sent me into a haze. This time it was different.
âI want to show you how much I love you Y/N. Please let me, please.â His voice was shaking while his words were casually interrupted by the occasional cracking of his voice.
âNo.â Slowly my arms found their way from Harryâs hair to his chest, giving it a quick but gentle shove.
âYou came to talk remember?â I spat at him, mostly to convince myself that I shouldnât cave, as I have many times before.
We sat there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Me, staring at him with hot tears running down my cheeks as a silent plea for him to say something, anything, and him standing there, lips slightly parted with his arms folded loosely in front of him. I was beginning to run out of patience when I heard Harry begin to speak softly.
âI understand that I am the last person you want to see right now. But I just came to tell you that Iâll never love anyone the way I love you, and I mean that. No one compares to you. No one will ever take your place. Iâm sorry for all the nights I was away and didnât even call you to let you know to not wait up for me. Iâm sorry for not treating you the way you deserved. And I know you donât love me anymore, but just know that when I leave, and we never see each other again, you always own a piece of me, thatâs all.â
I couldnât speak, so I just looked down. I could still feel Harryâs eyes on me and there was nothing I could do about it.
âPlease say something Y/Nâ He pled
âWhy are you crying Harry? You did this.â My words caught him off guard. His face was frozen with this look of shock, as if he didnât see this coming.
âI didnât fuck this up. I didnât allow my girlfriend to come home and find me naked in bed with another girl. I didnât give up 2 years for one night Harry. I didnât do any of thatâ.
âY/N I-â He tried to defend himself but I quickly cut him off.
âActually, you know what? Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry for ever thinking you could commit to me. Iâm sorry for seeing the best in you and ignoring what everyone told me. Iâm sorry for putting up with all your shit. And Iâm sorry for ever falling in love with you, but at least I know now that none of it was real, right?â
I was screaming at this point and Harry was just standing there taking it, until he decided to speak up.
âYou know I love you, so donât ever say I didnât.â He spoke quickly, as if he was afraid I was going to cut him off again before he could get his sentence out.
âI hope you stay up crying at night, wondering what you did to make the one person you gave everything to, not love you anymore. You deserve to feel worthless, you deserve all the heart ache. And guess what, itâs gonna hurt so fucking bad because Iâm the one and you know it.â
I was breathing heavy. Tears were still coming down my face but they had slowed dramatically. All Harry could do was stare at me, there was no way for him to defend himself so I didnât expect him to say anything.
âIâll leave.â He said with his voice so low I could barely hear him.
When I didnât respond, Harry began making his way to the door. I couldnât move. It was like my feet were suddenly apart of the floor, and no matter how bad I wanted to stop him and tell him everything was going to be okay, I couldnât.
So, I didnât.
The slamming of the door brought me out my haze and back to reality. It was finally done. The end of an era. No more Harry and Y/N.
Harry taught me a lot. He taught me that beds were meant to be shared. He taught me to appreciate little things, like hand written letters or smiles from strangers. I needed to learn how to be alone because our bed turned to my bed, our couch turned into my couch, our bathroom turned into my bathroom, and our apartment turned into my apartment.
But lastly, I turned back into me. I wasnât his girl anymore.
I was me. And my heart was my heart, once again
---
YALLLLL I AM SO HAPPY TO BE WRITING AGAIN!
This is an old repost from my old account but still i am just so happy. i recently graduated college so i have more time to write whatever you guys want! thank you for taking the time to read this its an honor.
SEND ME REQUESTS!!!!
all the love, kitt
#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles#harry styles one shot#hs lot la#masterlist#cheater!harry#requests
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Magnetic**
Okay I had so much fun writing this one! It's based off of THIS REQUEST where Harry cheats on his gf with Y/N and is basically pussy whipped.
Warnings: mostly remorseless infidelity, solo male masturbation, unprotected sex (p in v), oral (m and f receiving), fingering, daddy kink, slight degradation, pain, size, and cnc kink, non-con creampie, jealous partners, alcohol consumption. I think that's it...?
WC: 14.6k
You were minding your business, shamelessly standing stark naked in Harryâs laundry room, setting the wash for the sheets and pillowcases you two had soiled with your sweat, spit, and cum. You suddenly felt Harryâs presence behind you and moments later he was wrapping his arms around your waist.
âI told you that Iâd take care of this later.â He mumbled before kissing your bare shoulder.
âIt is later.â You smirked, âYou said sheâs coming home around 11, no?â You asked him and he nodded, âWell itâs already 10 and we still need to clean up from cooking dinner.â You reminded and he groaned.
âRightâŠâ
âTold you we shouldâve just ordered in. Couldâve kicked me out with the garbage.â You joked and he tutted in disapproval and squeezed around you a bit harder. You giggled a bit at his reaction, but it was trueâŠyou were the other woman and sometimes you coped with that with a little help from dark humor.
âI thought we agreed youâd stop with the self deprecating stuff.â He reminded you. âOnly I can be a little mean tâyou.â He smirked devilishly and you rolled your eyes, but nodded.
âI know, I knowâŠsorry.â You giggled as he smooched your shoulder again.
âAnd you were right. We shouldâve ordered in.â He added, âYouâre basically always right though, angel.â He admitted and you smiled.
When you thought about how it was that Harry came into your life it felt so normal that the fact you were fucking almost felt strange. You were merely acquaintances and only because your uncle was none other than Rob Stringer. Well, you were related through marriage, but still. You and Harry both just happened to be in attendance at his birthday party one year and after loosening up with a few drinks you two were flirting up a storm in a secluded little nook. Harry was single then and you were finishing up your Masterâs degree in Audio Engineering, you both loved music, so that gave you two plenty to talk about. At the end of the night you exchanged numbers and added each other on instagram, but you never really spoke again after that.Â
It was a couple years later, at one of his last shows of his world tour that your paths crossed again. You all had a little âpartyâ at the hotel afterwards and you overheard one of his friends say that he was talking to someone and that sheâd be coming for his final show along with more of his friends and family. So you sort of kept your distance because you couldnât trust yourself with not flirting with him. But all throughout the night youâd make eye contact across the room or just narrowly miss each other as you rotated around the little cliques of people. His intense energy made you feel quite wired, so even when the final people trickled out of the rooftop patio area that had been reserved for the little cocktail party, you found yourself sitting at the pool on the far end of the rooftop, legs dangling in the perfectly cool water. Harry was heading back to his room when he spotted you across the way through the chaises and tables surrounding the pool.
Heâd greeted you with a cool âHey, stranger!â, when he entered the pool area. That greeting was something you thought youâd hate until it was coming from him. He was clearly on a good one, as were you, and you guys just talked for an hour until you both realized it was past 3am. The ride down in the elevator was charged with tension and a comfortable silence, both of you were just enjoying the intense vibe that was encompassing you for however long this ride lasted. When the elevator stopped and opened up on his floor you were prepared to say goodnight but he just extended his hand out towards you. It was an unspoken invitation. You recall asking him âArenât you dating someone?â And he just smirked and said ânot technicallyâ and well that was enough for you to let him guide you to his suite and the rest was history.
Youâd always thought sexual chemistry was a myth until you and Harry fucked. You had the things that scratched his itch and vice versa. It truly was supposed to be a one time thing but then you saw each other again after a bit more time and did it again. Harry was consumed by guilt after the first time, he felt ill and disgusted with himself. But when you two saw each other again you slept together again. And then again. And now it had happened once more.
You werenât hooking up regularly, so it wasnât a full fledged affair, it was more of a sporadic thing. The point was that now he had a girlfriend of almost a year now and you really needed to not do this again. You wanted to say you felt guilty for it all the time, but in all truth the guilt had diminished, especially when you were together. Thatâs how good it was. However, that didnât mean what you were doing wasnât wrong.
âSo when I tell you that this canât happen again you know that I mean it, right?â You asked as you closed the lid and then turned towards him. His eyes met your own with a solemn look as he nodded.
âI knowâŠthis was a slip up.â He said, there was a little guilt in his eyes, you could see it pulling him away from the present and into his head.Â
It truly had been this time. He had gone to a football match with your uncle the day before and you just happened to be over at his for dinner with your aunt and mum when they came back. Youâd gone your separate ways but he then texted you to see if you wanted to catch up and have dinner together the next day, well, today now. And you had agreed, but one thing led to another, like the time before and here you were.Â
âIsnât that what you said last time?â You asked with a smirk.
âHey, how was I supposed to know you worked out at that studio?â
âInstagram.â You said with a grin and he chuckled.
âOkay, I justâŠI just wanted to see you that time. I didnât intend for it to turn into sex.â
âLiar.â You whispered smugly before tiptoeing and kissing his lips gently and he chuckled.
âI mean, I fantasized about it, but I didnât intend to follow through with it.â He defended himself and you just giggled before your lips melted together. It was so easy to get lost when you kissed each other. Feeling his big, warm hands feeling out your curves and squeezing at your butt, it made you melt. And well, he was getting hard all over again and you giggled into your kiss.
âOne more before you go?â He asked you and you shook your head.Â
âWhy donât you channel all this towards your girl instead when she gets home.â You suggested before pecking his lips quickly and pulling away from him.Â
Harry felt confused when you said things like this to him. He wondered if you said it to make him feel guilty or were just being sincere about him focusing on her instead of you. So he followed after you until he was back in his bedroom and you were pulling your clothes on.
âAre you upset?â He asked you and you turned towards him as you fastened your bra on.
âNo, H. I didnât mean that in a bad way, sorry.â You assured as he grabbed your shirt from the floor and handed it to you. âThanks.â You hummed.
âWelcome.â He mumbled.
âI just meant likeâŠâ you sighed, âM-maybe if youâre notâŠsatisfied with how your sex life is with her, then-â
âLetâs not, alright?â He cut you off sternly, his eyes wild with frustration.
You just rolled lips together and nodded, âYouâre right. Sorry.â You apologized immediately as you looked away with a little bit of embarrassment. You could sense that the mood completely shifted between you two so you hurriedly got dressed in silence. Harry had just thrown on his sweats.
âReady?â He asked as soon as youâd buttoned your jeans.
âI can show myself out, H. Just finish cleaning up.â You assured him.
âWhatâre a few minutes worth at this point?â
âAt least a shower.â You responded and he smiled a bit.
âSee. Always right.â He acknowledged as he took your hand and squeezed it a bit in his.
âIâm not answering next time, Harry. Thatâs a promise.â You said seriously. You needed to put your foot down. It was bad enough that you didnât feel bad about it, so you really needed to stop. âSo donât even call, okay?â You requested and he nodded once before he let you go.
Harry stood there until he heard the front door open and close and he smiled to himself because he was already itching to call you again. He didnât let himself feel too guilty about this because he knew that he was going to stop, when? Well, he certainly believed the second time was the last time, but now it had happened a couple more times and he wouldnât mind not stopping. There was just something about the way you two fit together that made him want to keep going back. Even after the first time heâd had you, when you were both drunk and giggling and mucking about, the second he sunk inside of you his brain chemistry changed. Heâd never moaned so much while fucking someone. And then when you rode himâŠ
âFuckâŠâ he mumbled as his cock started growing hard so fast.Â
He slightly brought down his sweats and pulled his cock out as he sat on the bed. Harryâs eyes closed as he as he started to stroke his cock up and down at a steady pace, not wasting any time to tease or delay his orgasm in any way. His jaw tensed a bit as he clenched his teeth together and hissed in a breath as he rubbed at his frenulum the way you had done earlier with your tongue.Â
He absolutely loved your company, the chemistry was just there. Heâd never been with someone who made themselves right at home so easily. And not in an imposing way, you did it in a way that reminded him of when a friend you havenât seen in ages pops in for a long visit and they just slowly start to worm their way further in. You zapped him with an excitement that was reminiscent of the time when he fell in love for the first time. Where youâve got these blinders on and that person can do absolutely no wrong in your eyes. You only see all of the wonderful things about them you glorify them to an extent. You were a living fantasy.Â
âShit, need her so bad.â He mumbled as he stroked a bit faster. He visualized the way your breasts bounced in front of him as you rode his cock until he busted for you twice. And here he was again, about to come for you for the third time tonight. He loved the way you praised him when he was about to come for you and he recalled it now. He groaned as he basically heard your voice as if you were right there with him.
âThat feels so good, doesnât it, baby?â
âIâm going to make you come again, arenât I?âÂ
âYes, HarryâŠFuck yeah, daddy! Come for me.â
Harryâs eyes squeezed shut as his memories of your soft and sultry voice and tight, dripping little cunt milked the come out of him. He groaned as he felt it start to expand from his core and tickle down his legs and finally reach the tip of his cock. He let out the most lewd moan as he felt is start to erupt from his tip. His hips bucked up into his fist as his warm, milky sperm spurted out against his abs quite intensely a few times before it diminished and soon stopped. He gave himself a gentle squeeze before letting go and sighing in satisfaction. He was obsessed with you, he couldnât stop thinking about you. About when heâd see you next. But you were right, it couldnât happen again. He was getting in too deep and the longer he let this go on the more painful it would be for everyone involved if it ever came to light.Â
*************
You had a short cry in the car on your way home because you were so fucking into Harry but you couldnât fuck with his life anymore. Never did you think youâd be someoneâs side piece, it shocked you! But Harry just understood your mind and body in ways that no one but you knew and it was so amazing to feel so understood. To feel in tune with someone, whether it be in the middle of a sexual experience or just while making conversation. Thatâs why it had been so hard to stay away. But you meant it this time. You couldnât continue being his escape of whatever it was that he was missing in his relationship.Â
You hadnât meant to offend him when suggesting he have a conversation about the sexual things in his relationship with his girlfriend. You just wanted him to be able to get what he needed from his relationship, that was the point wasnât it? You were certain things were just fine in his relationship but when it comes to sex, âjust fineâ is a mere step up from ânot goodâ. And when you and Harry got together everything flowed so perfectly that he was willing to be unfaithful just to have a taste of that.Â
What you two did was fuck really well. There wasnât really any tenderness in those moments, you two just relished in the ecstasy that came with the lust and pleasure when you two got together. You were into the same things, you could push the limits of what was acceptable with him. It was so rare to find such a good match, but you were determined to stay true to your word because at the end of the day, no matter how good the sex and company were, he had someone else.
After a couple of days you got the courage to block his number. It was a temporary measure in case either of you slipped up in the near future because if he did just the right amount of groveling youâd give in far more easily than you cared to admit.
âŠ.TWO MONTHS LATERâŠ.
You had been doing really well after distancing yourself from Harry. You werenât sure how long youâd need before you could see him without your pussy getting all puffy and sticky at the mere sight of him and the sound of his voice. In order to achieve this youâd also stopped frequenting the places where you knew he liked to go, so you hadnât even seen him this entire time. You were proud of yourself for being able to quit him cold turkey so when one of your friends invited you out to Amanteâs, a private club for the rich and famous (precisely the kind of place Harry went to when he wanted to be out of the house but not being lurked by admirers), you quickly disregarded the reluctance that initially arose. The odds of you running into him were quite low and you just needed the night out, especially after the grueling work week youâd had.
You got a bit dressed up, something short of cocktail attire, and then just added some eyeliner to darken up your makeup before rushing out of your town home. You got into your Uber and made your way to the club. Amanteâs wasnât a club to dance, it was more of a social club. There was a main bar with a large sitting room, some billiard, and karaoke rooms, and then a lovely patio area where they had a stove oven to bake fresh pizzaâs. Thatâs usually where your friends hung out, out back and away from the older crowd. You were heading back, tucking away your memberâs card when you heard your name.
âY/N!â You glanced up and smiled brightly when you saw your friend, Goldie.
âG! Look at you!â You giggled happily, completely blown away by her gorgeous outfit.
âThank you, thank you!â She grinned, âYouâre looking lovely as well.â She complimented and you tutted, waving off the compliment. âI was just on my way to freshen up a bit. I know youâve just arrived, but do you want to join?â She asked and you agreed and were easily swept away.Â
You too took the time to touch up your lipliner and lipstick, you were being cautious as Goldie re-glued one of her strip lashes that seemed to be needing more adhesive. After helping her fan it dry to a tacky consistency she placed it back on. You gave yourself a few more spritzes of perfume before you both headed out.
âSo it is a big group?â You asked as you two weaved through the sitting room, locking eyes with a handsome man before exchanging a timid smile and continuing on.
âAbout eight of us.â
âEight?â You asked in surprise. Your main group only consisted of six people.
âYeah, Sam brought Tom and Harry with him.â She informed you. Suddenly, you felt the world come to a screeching halt. Just your fucking luck!Â
âOh!â You exclaimed.
âYou know them both already, right?â Goldie asked you.
âOh yeah, Iâve met them before.â You assured and she nodded. She was saying something more but you genuinely couldnât hear anything as you started to get trapped in your own head.
As soon as you stepped out though your hearing tuned back in and picked out Harryâs boisterous laughter over everyone elseâs and you immediately felt your heart skip a beat. Your skin started to tingle, goosebumps breaking out over your arms the closer you got, and those tingles started to seep down into your guts. The butterflies of excitement and nervous were fluttering with reckless abandon in anticipation. Then, finally one of the servers slipped past you and opened up your field of vision to Harry, or his rather chiseled side profile. His hair was longer than youâd last seen him and his facial hair had come in nicely; if you concentrated a bit more you could practically feel it scratching at the delicate skin between your thighs as he worked his way up to your pu-
âLook whoâs here!â Goldie announced with glee as you two reached the end of the table and everyone glanced over to her and then to you.Â
Harryâs gaze immediately found your own and his eyes raked down your body subtly. You ignored the intense heat of his eyes taking you in longingly and just waved at everyone and did a general greeting before taking your seat on the chair at the end. You were taking everyone in for a moment before picking up the drinks menu to gather yourself until you heard your name.
âY/N, do you want to sit in the booth? Itâs far more comfortable.â Harry spoke to you and you glanced up at him from the menu.
âIâm alright here. Thanks.â You offered a polite smile before looking away.Â
You knew full well that you werenât ordering anything off of this specialty menu, youâd just get your usual Whiskey and soda water with a squeeze of lemon. You just needed a distraction while you composed yourself enough to look at him without picturing him in his full naked glory. It was tough and when you spared him a glance when he wasnât looking his lips still quirked up to the left, carving his dimple into his cheek. It made you smile, but after that you just steered clear. No one knew that you and Harry were more familiar with each other than the times youâd been to his shows or seen him at your uncleâs things on occasion, so giving him any more attention would make everyone think you were flirting with a taken man. And speaking ofâŠwhere was she? It didnât take long for someone to bring her up and ask how heâd been coping with her gone for work.
âIâm good. Iâve always been big on having my own things to keep me occupied.â He said, âThen on the other hand Iâm all alone in that big, old house all the time.â he announced and you reached for your drink and took it.
âYou donât get lonely?â Someone asked him.
âNot usually, but lately just a bit.â He said and his gaze flickered over to you, âWouldnât mind having some company when things feel a bit slow.â He confessed.
And with that, you excused yourself to the bathroom and rushed over there. You felt so stupid for getting worked up over what he was saying, but you knew exactly what he meant. You could perfectly envision him letting you into his house and immediately dropping to his knees as he got your pants off and just licked you out right there against the doorway. As soon as you got in the stall you grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper and pulled your dress up a bit before slipping your hand down the front of your panties to soak up the arousal that had you all slicked up. Your clit was so sensitive that even when the wad of toilet paper skimmed over it as you retracted your hand, it made you bite down on your lip. For a moment you genuinely wished that Harry would burst through the door and lock it behind him so that he could take you then and there. It was a sinful thought and you were quite disappointed in yourself that all it took was being in his presence to have your resolve break down like this. Betrayed by your own body. Once you had washed your hands you beelined it for the bar and waited against the counter.
âWhat can I get for you, miss?â
âJust a shot of vodka.â You said, âDo you still carry the Kettle One grapefruit one?â
âWe do.â
âThat please. Chilled.â
âRight away.â The man smiled and you thanked him before he spun around to get what you wanted.Â
âCan I pick that up for you?â You heard from beside you and turned to see the handsome man that had made eyes at you when you first arrived.
âOh no, thatâs alright.â
âI insist. I was hoping to buy you a drink but seeing as youâre here with friends, Iâm afraid this would be my only opportunity. Iâm Eric.â He said extending his hand and you smiled.
âIâm Y/N. Lovely to meet you.â
âThe pleasure is entirely mine. So what do you say? Can I at least get this for you?â He inquired once more and you nodded.
âYeah, alright.â You agreed and he smiled, âDo you want one too? Some guy is paying.â You joked and he chuckled.
âSure.â
âAlright. I can spare a bit of time.â You flirted and he called on the bartender and asked him for another.Â
Soon you had your shots before you and you were clinking the little shot glasses together before tossing them back. He scoffed afterwards and said it was awful and you did as well. You explained that the last time you had this specific vodka it may have been in a spritzer or shooter of sorts, not actually straight. So you guys laughed about that and chatted a little bit about yourselves. You exchanged social media profiles and while you mentioned to him that you werenât interested in being involved with anyone at the moment, you assured him that if you changed your mind you would reach out. With that you headed back to the table and rolled your eyes as some of your friends whooped and yelped dramatically after someone else had seen you flirting up a storm inside.
âMan, I was never that bold when I was single!â your friend Paul smirked and you giggled.
âI wasnât being bold, he was.â
âIs that all it takes now a days?âÂ
âSometimes.â You giggled and went back to your drink.Â
You felt a bit more relaxed now and well, Harry was pissed because he did not acknowledge you once for the rest of the night. Did it make you sad? Of course, but he had no right or reason to be upset at this and you figured that was his way of coping with that. After you had a second full drink your buzz started to come in. You were giggling at everything and getting all affectionate with Paul, who was on your left. He was gay, so you knew that he wouldnât misinterpret it as you scooched closer and leaned against his shoulder. You had a slight moment of weakness and when you glanced at Harry he was already looking at you. You could feel the energy emanating from him. He looked kind of lost and sad. You had the urge to reach for him, but you couldnât do that here. So instead you just offered him a small smile and his gaze softened a bit and then you looked away.Â
The rest of the time seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were being dropped off in front of your house.Â
âThank you so much for the ride. You are the best!â You praised Goldie with gratitude.
âNot a problem, darling!â
âDo you need water or to have a wee or anything?â You asked.
âI should be alright!â She giggled, âThank you, though. Weâll see each other for Massimoâs birthday in a few, yeah?â
âYeah, Iâll be there.â You smiled and waved goodbye as she drove off. You then keyed your way inside and immediately shrugged your jacket off, the alcohol in your system had made you feel a bit warm. You were just about to get your shoes off when there were a few knocks on the door and you grinned.
âI knew sheâd have to pee.â You said to yourself lowly and when you opened up the door you swore any drunken feeling evaporated from your system as his eyes met yours. âHarry, I donât think that-â
You were cut off by his lips colliding with yours as he pushed you inside. You easily melted into it and sucked his plump bottom lip between your own lips. He groaned as his hands slide down to your backside, kneading it in his big warm hands. He started turning you around until your back collided with the door and he started to kiss down your neck. You were obsessed with the way his lips felt and with the way his scent enveloped you. You moaned as he you felt him start to suck at the base of your throat.
âN-no marks remember?â You panted as you scratched the back of his head gently.
âMmmâŠdonât think anyoneâll be suspicious after you were flirting with that guy at the bar.â He mumbled before picking up where he left off. Your mouth parted as you moaned in slight pain at how hard he was sucking at you.Â
âTsssâŠit hurts!â You winced.
âGood.â He mumbled before kissing over the mark. You loved when he did things to claim you, because outside of this you werenât his to claim. He pecked your lips quickly as he pressed his forehead against yours, âYou think about that next time before ghosting me for two months.â He lowly and you shook your head.
âIt was for your own good.â You reminded.
âI think I can decide whatâs good for me and whatâs not.â He mumbled lowly as one of his hands came up and angled your face up towards his. The deep, magenta glow from the little sunset lamp in your entryway was making this moment feel like a drug-induced hallucination. Breathing his scent and air made you feel intoxicated. You were putty in his hands. âIâve missed you so much, angel.â He said lowly. Thatâs when you realized that his other hand had slithered up your thigh, he was just an inch away from touching you where you needed him most.
âH, no. We shouldnât.â You reasoned, but did absolutely nothing to push him away or stop his hand from slithering further up your thigh. You wanted him to keep going, but you shouldnât.
âTell me to stop then.â He responded huskily and you inhaled sharply as his fingers rubbed over your clothed slit. Your hand darted down and wrapped around his wrist and his eyes immediately softened, âIs that a stop?â He asked with slight concern and you shook your head.
âHarder.â You requested. He groaned and added more pressure, his finger dipping into your crease and colliding with your clit. He felt as the tension just melted off of your body and the soft moan that slipped past your lips made him grin.
âIs that good, angel?â He asked and you nodded and whimpered as he went a bit faster. âYouâve been wet for a while, hmmm?â
âYes.â You smiled, âSince I saw you.â You confessed and he giggled.Â
âYeah?â He asked, fully amused at learning this.
âYeah.â You nodded, still smiling cheek to cheek.
âFor real?â He asked lowly, more vulnerably. His eyes bore into yours and you nodded again, not breaking eye contact with him. âThatâs fucking hot.â He groaned before kissing your sloppily.Â
It was all tongues and teeth colliding, there was just so much urgency that it didnât even matter if you were kissing at the same pace, you just wanted to be against him. One of your hands reached down to feel the sizable bulge in his pants. You were obsessed with how big his dick got. He stretched you out so good, you got wetter in anticipation. He groaned in satisfaction as you rubbed over him with more pressure, really letting the heel of your palm press against the head of his cock.
âHarry?â
âYes, angel?â
âPlease fuck me.â You panted against his lips and he nodded.
âYeah, baby. Want me to fuck you? Iâll fuck you.â He muttered against your lips before pulling you off towards your bedroom.
âWait, wait! My shoes! Let me get âem off!â You giggled and he groaned and knelt down. You bit your lip and smiled down at him as you placed your foot on his thigh. He kissed your knee as his fingers undid the straps of your high heel.
âNext one.â He hummed and you switched legs. âThere you are, now lets get to it.â He smiled and you pulled him to your bedroom swiftly.
As soon as you got in you reached across your body to pull down your dressâ zipper. About halfway down, Harryâs hands slid the straps down your shoulders and then slid under your arms to grab your breasts. He squeezed them as his lips traveled up your neck.
âFuck, I missed these.â He hummed and you bit your lip and whined as he gently pinched your nipples down between his thumbs and index fingers. He pressed a bit harder until you gasped and he eased up. âAgain?â He asked and you nodded.
âPlease, again.â You confirmed.Â
This was one of the reasons Harry loved sleeping with you. Little things like this, where he was a bit more aggressive and pushed the limits with you. You leaned into it, you loved the bite of pain. You loved feeling pushed to the edge and giving him complete free reign to do with you as he pleased, youâd set some boundaries before but there were very few. And well, he enjoyed taking you there. Itâs what he was missing, he figured it out after not having you for two months.Â
Things werenât bad in his relationship but they were rather tame. He loved having slow, meaningful sex but he also loved having horny, kinky, and primal sex where he could fulfill his urges however he pleased. That wasnât really the kind of person his partner was, to be fair she had tried but she just couldnât get into it. And well, knowing you were of that persuasion, it just became easiest to seek you out for it. But he didnât expect to get whipped after a couple times. It was bad, he had been struggling without you. And thank whatever higher power there was that your paths coincided tonight because he really just needed to see you. Even if nothing had come of it, at least he got to be around you and feel excited again. That very spark of excitement being relit was the thing that persuaded him to show up at your door and he was so glad he had.
âYouâre so fucking beautiful.â He hummed as he glanced down at your body. âSo fucking perfect. And so good for me.â He goaded you on. You loved how he spoke to you when you fucked, âAlways so fucking good. Arenât you, angel?â
âYes, daddy.â You whined and he groaned. Just hearing you call him that again had clouded his judgement completely and the rational part of himself evaporated into thin air.
In moments Harry was urging you to get into bed while he quickly undressed himself. You were nestling yourself into the pillows when he climbed on. You parted your legs to allow him to rest himself over your body and as he settled over you he kissed you deeply. You were aching to feel his cock stretching you open and filling you up with each inch of it that sunk inside of you. You were longing to feel the satisfaction that came with sleeping with him and only him. It was dangerous, like a drug.
Harry kissed your lips once more before pressing himself up, âGonna get a taste of you first.â He said to you and you bit your lip in excitement.Â
You stayed perfectly still as Harry kissed down your chest and stomach, then skipped down to your thighs and nipped and kissed and sucked his way up until he was pressing kisses over your labia. He loved feeling the wetness seeping out from between your lips, he loved how wet and horny you got for him. So without any further delays he nuzzled in and lapped at your achey little hole, dipping his tongue in until you were grinding into his face and gasping as his nose kept nudging against your clit. He was trying not to, but he was smiling so big, it was getting hard to keep doing what he was doing. But he was absolutely blissed out over getting to savor you once again.
âOh fuckâŠâ you mewled, âMy clit! Suck my clit!â You whined and he groaned as he glided his mouth further up to get to your clit. His mustache pricked at your hypersensitive skin and it made you weak in the knees. You loved the contrast of his smooth lips and tongue in comparison to the roughness of his facial hair scratching over your skin. Once he felt the reached the raised little bump, Harry parted his lips to suck and flick his tongue at the sensitive little bundle until you started to writhe your hips.
Your moans became more consistent and then he pressed his middle finger into you. You gasped as he hooked it up, right into your g-spot. Your abs immediately started to tense as he played your body with an absolutely lethal level of lust-driven determination. He wanted to make you come. The final nail in the coffin was when he plunged a second finger in. The soft smacks of his fingers thrusting in and out of you were getting louder the closer you got to your orgasm. His moans of enjoyment and your praises of gratitude to him joined the chorus of things pushing you right to the edge. And just like that you were coming undone around his fingers.Â
âFuck, thatâs it, angel.â He chuckled against you, kissing at your clit lightly until he had worked you through it all the way.Â
Harry kissed up your body with lust and what felt like relief. And when he was back up at your face he went in for a sultry kiss, tongue first. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue and felt his hands rub up and down your inner thighs while his heavy erection bobbed up and down in the small space between your bodies. You just wanted him so badly, you raised your hips up to get his tip against your folds and hopefully your clit. He adjusted a bit until his tip kissed your clit as youâd been hoping. You whimpered and he bit his lip at the soft whimpers escaping from your throat as his cock kept bumping into your clit at the perfect pace. He was trying to not make too much of it because if he thought about it too much heâd come like this with ease. And while it was very tempting to do so if only to see your pussy glazed over with his cum, he needed to feel you. He wanted to be buried deep in the person heâd been missing and thinking about all this time when he finally came.
âPlease, H. Put it in!â You begged and he groaned as he angled himself down and to your entrance. He gently nudged against it, heâd have to assist a bit to push it inside.
âYouâre still on the pill?â He asked as he glanced up at you and your expression fell a bit as your eyes met.
âNo, I stopped it last month.â And then you cocked your head towards the adjoining bathroom, âI have condoms somewhere in there though.â You offered because he had always insisted on protection. But this time he bit his lip pensively.
âCa-can IâŠpull out?â He asked and your eyes widened and dazzled a bit upon hearing his request. Youâd never gone bare before, it was one of the things youâd agreed on every time youâd meet up. Of course, for your own sexual health, but largely because he was still sleeping with a long term partner who wasnât aware that he had another sexual partner. Truly, the least you two could do was use condoms.Â
âUmmm, a-are you sure?â You asked him.Â
âYeah angel, Iâm absolutely sure.â You looked a bit skeptical, âMâsure.â He insisted with a nod, âI need tâfeel you.â He admitted lowly as his eyes glanced up to yours. He looked uncertain of having shared that with you but you could also see the urgency in them. Your lips twitched up in a small smile.
âOkay.â You agreed and he smiled down at you as he started to guide himself down to your entrance.Â
When his tip finally met with your entrance and he started to press in you sighed in relief. You had slept with someone else shortly after the last time with Harry, so it had been a while for you and you were aching to feel the stretch as your body adjusted and accommodated to his size.Â
âReady?â He asked and you nodded eagerly.
âIâm so ready.â You responded, nearly breathless and with that he surged forward with enough force to sink inside, âOh fuuuuckâŠâ You moaned, eyes squeezing shut the second your muscles relaxed enough to allow him to sink in about halfway.Â
Harry moaned in relief as well, but his eyes were fixed on the place where your bodies were connected. He loved to see you stretched out around him, he marveled at the way he fit inside of you. Without a warning he reared back and you whined. He smirked smugly and glanced up at you before thrusting back into you. You moaned as your gazes locked once again.
âCan you take it all with the next one?â He asked and you nodded once, âYou sure?â
âYeah, mâsure. Please, H.â You whined softly. With that he pulled back again and thrust inside with a bit more strength and then he actually shifted his hips down causing your legs to fall open even more as you opened right up for him. âOh shit!â You gasped in surprise when his cock went as deep as it could. It felt like he was in your stomach.
âRelax fâme, angel.â He encouraged you and when you did and he ground into you, his tip just barely grazed your cervix. The small, but dull ache told you thatâs where he was. âCan I move?â
âPlease move.â You giggled breathlessly and he smiled before pulling out and gliding back in with ease. You were even more wet now with his thrusts. Your body was practically singing for him and the way it felt to be connecting with him this way after all of this time.
Your hands ran up and down the hot and smooth skin of his back and arms. You didnât know how much you missed the feeling of the bulging muscles in his back and arms working hard to make you feel good. He was so strong, it made you even hornier as you brought a hand over his chest to feel his bulging pectorals. He smiled and knelt up, spreading your legs even more as he watched with lustful eyes as his cock glided in and out of you with ease.
âFuck, you take it so well.â He grunted through his thrusts before grabbing your left breast in his hand. He groped and squeezed at it and your nipple, causing your back to arch up with his tugs as you gasped and moaned. âToo much?â He asked when you winced and you shook your head.
âItâs good! Itâs so fucking good!â You mewled.
Harry was obsessed with how perfect you looked beneath him. Gorgeous face, tits bouncing up and down with the force of his thrusts. Your warm and inviting little hole taking his cock as well as he remembered. For a while there at Amanteâs he was worried that youâd leave with that handsome guy who was entertaining you at the bar and boy, did his blood boil. He wasnât going to act on his need for you until he saw that. At the very least, the man had gotten your socials and heâd be a fool to not shoot his shot with you. But thatâs why he ended up at your doorstep, he wanted to be fresh on your mind if you decided to try your luck with someone else. He knew it was messy and even toxic of him to do this, but he wanted you to compare. He wanted you to obsess and lose sleep over him the way he did over you.
âDamn, look at you.â He sighed with a slight smirk, âYou were being so good, werenât you? Keeping your promise and staying away, but look at you now.â He pointed out, âAll it took was seeing me once for you to spread your legs for me.â He said smugly and you moaned, âYouâre right back where you started, angel. My needy, cock-hungry, little slut.â He teased and degraded you just how you loved, it was pushing you closer and closer to the brink.
Your walls tightened up around him, squeezing him tight. You enjoyed this. This was the side of him that he saved for you. The side of him that his girlfriend didnât like and couldnât handle. You loved how he mocked you and made you feel so weak and fickle. Youâd spent most of your life being strong, being the rock, it was good to be able to not be that person. To give in to your recklessness and your humanity in a safe space with a person who not only cared for you, but fucked you so good you could detach from reality and just enjoy being taken care of.
âFuck, Iâm so close!â You gasped when he ground deep into you while rubbing over your clit.Â
The pleasure started to expand from deep in your core and to the rest of your body. Your walls were fluttering around his cock erratically, without your influence. His deep moans in response had your skin covered in goosebumps. And as the feeling made it down your legs, you writhed beneath him, whining and whimpering as you got closer and closer. Your brain was starting to shut off and your eyes to glaze over as you succumbed to the pleasure possessing your body. When your ears started to ring you knew you were about to come. You were smiling in satisfaction as the moans flowed from your mouth, limbs feeling like jell-o.
âFuck daddy, Iâm gonna come!â You gasped, âPlease, let me come!â You asked for permission. You always had to ask the first time.
âGo on, angel. Give it tâme, come for me.â He granted you the permission and immediately your body went tense.Â
Your eyes rolled back and your jaw went slack as all of those wonderful, tingling feelings rippled from your core and out to the rest of your body. It felt like your veins were pumping fire through you. You were desperately grinding up to meet his own thrusts, not able to get enough of him even now as you creamed all over his cock. Harry leaned down to hover over you again, breathing in your exhales, letting his own pleasure reach its own pinnacle. He had every intention of pulling out, but seeing you there beneath him so fucking perfect and fucked out because of him, plus the underlying jealously he was still feeling that led him to your bed, he just couldnât stop. His thrusts grew erratic and his hands found yours, he pressed them into the mattress as he interlocked your fingers. The look in his eyes tipped you off that his resolve was breaking.
âH-Harry, pull out!â You stammered out the reminder as his brows furrowed and he shook his head. His thrusts slowed but he fucked into your harder until he sunk into you as deep as he could. âOh fuck!â You whined.Â
âFuuuuckâŠâ he moaned deeply as his eyes squeezed shut and then pressed his forehead into yours as he ignored your reminder and started to come inside of you. He needed to and in that moment had no interest in sticking to his own rule.
You could feel the dramatic pulses and twitches of his cock as your snug, warm walls milked the cum out of him. Just feeling it filling you up like this was working you up all over again. Harry groaned and moaned through his orgasm, enjoying it for as long as he could. He had no idea if youâd be angry with him when he took your face in again, but he was glad he did it. He needed to do it. He could feel you trying to free up your hands, so he let them go. He was mentally preparing to feel you pushing him off of you in a completely appropriate fit of rage. But instead you just ran your fingers up the back of his neck and gently scratched at the back of his head. You smiled a bit as you felt his body relax and melt against yours before you giggled.
âYouâre reckless and stupid for that.â You chastised him before kissing the side of his face and he just smiled.
âIâll make sure to get a pill to you in the morning.â He mumbled, âSorry, I justâŠsomething came over me.â He muttered.
âItâs alright.â You assured him, âI like it.â You admitted timidly and he smiled.
âYeah? Sure?â
âYes.â You reiterated and he smiled.
You just lay in silence for a little bit, recouping from the intense sex youâd just had. You were enjoying his warmth and the weight of him over you as much as possible before he made his swift exit. But his breaths were getting more and more shallow and he was melting against you further and further.
Suddenly he pushed up a bit until his eyes were meeting yours, âIâm sorry for doing that without asking. I shouldâve asked.â He said softly, suddenly feeling really bad and guilty for coming inside of you like that. He had never pushed the limit like that before and was worried that you were just downplaying it.
âYes, you shouldâve but Iâm not upset that you didnât. I ummmâŠI like that quite a bit.â You admitted bashfully, âThough, IâmâŠsurprised you went through with it, but definitely not upset at you for it.âÂ
âPromise?â
âI promise.â You confirmed.
âCan I stay?â He asked after a moment of silence and you bit your lip, feeling so hesitant to allow it.
âWhy?â You asked.
âIâm fucking tired.â He said and you smiled, âBut mostly becauseâŠI donât want to be in the house alone for another night.â He admitted. You gave it a thought for a moment before agreeing.
âJust this once.â You decided and he thanked you with a gentle kiss to your lips before warning you that he was going to pull out.Â
You two got cleaned up and then back into bed. You had gotten in first and had turned on your side, facing away from him to give him both, space and privacy. Moments later you felt the bed dip and the last thing you expected was for Harry to continue scooting in until his front was flush with your back. But when he tried to drape his arm over your midsection you sat up.
âWhatâs wrong?â He asked as he sat up as well and you switched on the beside lamp and turned to him.
âWhat are you doing?â You asked him.
âNothing, just getting comfortable to sleep.â
âWhy do you think I moved all the way over here? To give you space.â You said with a shake of your head.
âOh, youâre not a cuddler?â He asked.
âOh no, I can be but we donât do this kind of thing.â You explained.
âWell what if I want to?â He asked.
âThen maybe you should go sleep in your own house.â You said and he sighed, âItâs not that I donât want to butâŠI like you Harry and I donât want to start to not like you.â You explained and he pouted.
âHow do you mean?âÂ
âIf weâŠblur more lines than we already have then things can only get more complicated between us and end badly. I care about you too much to let that happen. Itâs why I blocked you and why I stayed away from you this whole time.â You explained.
âYouâre right.â He nodded, âI shouldnât have shown up like this tonight. It was hard, being away from you but I was doing it.â
âYeah.â You agreed, âSo, if you want to stay here tonight, then we stay on our own sides of the bed. And this is the only time it can happen.âÂ
âOkay.â He agreed with ease and you smiled.
âGood.â You concluded and turned to switch off the light while Harry shuffled back over to make more space. Once again, the two of you were shrouded in the dark with more space between the two of you.Â
âIs this also the last time we sleep together?â He asked into the darkness.
âI think so.â You said with a bit of uncertainty.Â
And well, Harry was glad you were feeling hesitant about it, you two were quite great together. He could just end his relationship, but he didnât feel like âthe sex could be betterâ was really a good enough reason. Apart from things being a little bit slow in that department he would say that his relationship was good. He was happy. There was good give and take from both of them. He could see this panning out for the long haul if he really prioritized the relationship. He didnât feel quite ready to be making those moves though. Maybe thatâs why he was still clinging to you. You sparked up a part of him that made his life feel unpredictable and exciting. You were more open and freewheeling. You were just fun, whereas his girlfriend was exactly as she seemed, a calm and sweet spirit. It certainly paired well with the side of him that liked to slow down, the side of him that he wanted to be in tune with after a large world tour. Thatâs why heâd settled in so easily.Â
But youâŠyou were something else. Even though he tended to be a little more on the quiet side, when you were around you made him feel just as included as the person who was the extrovert of the group. You connected with the cheeky and mischievous side of him. You made him laugh and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You were like that first taste of coffee in the morning. The very same one that gave you the feeling that were awake now and made you feel ready to face whatever came at you that day. You were incredibly unforgettable. Since the first time heâd met you, youâd constantly come up in his thoughts. The fact that he was friends with your uncle mightâve aided with that, but only by tiniest bit. The feeling that swirled in his gut and chest the very first time he locked eyes with you last summer, thatâs what kept him coming back. Because even to this day, whenever he had the privilege of being in your presence, heâd feel the exact same thing. Itâs like when you looked at him everything stopped. There was goodness, authenticity, and mischief in your gaze. He loved to be on the receiving end of your undivided attention. Even now, as he just laid here silently, ruminating and obsessing over all of this, he could feel that you were looking in his direction now and after a few second he felt you turn away.
You turned your head forward again and just stared up at the ceiling and sighed. âAre you upset?â You asked him softly.
âYes and no.â he responded. You bit your lip as your fingers twitched a bit as you fought from reaching out towards his hand. But after a few seconds you just slid your hand over. When Harry felt your fingers grazing his hand he turned it palm up and let you slide your fingers into the gaps between his.Â
âIs this okay?â
âYeah, angel.â He whispered back. You two fell silent for a bit before you spoke up again.
âYou know, maybe itâs a good thing Iâm only your side piece. If I had you to myself Iâm afraid weâd never do anything productive again.â You pondered aloud and he snorted out a laugh, causing you to giggle.
âFucking like bunnies is actually very productive.â He added and you sputtered out a laugh.
âWe wouldnât just fuck! Weâd share other hobbies.â You reminded.
âFellatio and cunnilingus.â He mumbled before you both started sniggering again.
âI was going to say anal play but that too I guess.â You muttered and he chuckled and squeezed your hand a bit.Â
âCheeky girl.â He mumbled through his laugh.
You were fighting with all your might not to just roll over and onto him and kiss him. You liked him so fucking much, but this was wrong. You werenât that kind of girl and he wasnât that kind of guy. It was crazy how with the right person at your side you could and would do just about anything. You laid there thinking about it all for a few seconds and very quickly concluded that maybe one more time couldnât hurt.
In just a few moments you were straddling Harryâs lap and leaning down to kiss him. His  arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down into him. You sighed in relief as your lips collided. Your hand was on his jaw, holding him close as you smooched his lips wetly a couple of times before he drew out his tongue and laved over your bottom lip. Your mouths soon started smacking together softly as you French kissed passionately. You could feel his boner growing beneath you and you couldnât help yourself as you ground down onto him. His hands came down to your ass and squeezed at it, pulling you down onto him a bit harder. You moaned as his rock hard cock rubbed into your clit and you sped up your pace.
âFuck me.â Harry mumbled his request as he gently spanked your bottom.
âYeah?â You panted as you slowed down.
âYeah, get my dick out.â He instructed. You slid down his thigh and tugged his briefs down carefully, allowing his cock to spring right up. He sighed in relief and you suddenly had a need to feel his weight on your tongue. You slid the rest of the way down, parting his legs as you got lower and lower until your mouth was over his cock. You guided him into your mouth, immediately sucking at his tip fervently as he moaned and rubbed over your cheek.
âTake more, angel. Take more.â He urged you. You did so without hesitation, relaxing your jaw and throat as you sunk further down. He was quite the mouthful, so there was no way of doing this neatly. It was sloppy and needy and you were enjoying it as much as he was âFuck, thatâs good, baby.â He groaned, brows creased in pleasure as you started to fondle his balls as well. His abs were starting to tense and his breathing to grow shallow. âAngel, get on me. Please, mâso fucking close.â He begged and you slowly pulled off of him.
You glanced up at him and smiled as you moved back up and knelt over him. You moved your panties to the side and he quickly reached for his cock and held it up for you. You shifted your hips a bit when you felt him up against your labia and in moments you were sinking down onto him slowly. You both moaned in relief before you went a bit further and stopped. You were getting used to his girth before sliding down a little bit more, until finally you were seated on him fully.
âFuck, itâs so bigâŠâ you winced as you bounced over his cock.Â
âI know, baby, but you take it so well. Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good.â He groaned.
One of his big hands was holding your hips, guiding you up and down, helping you through the motions. His other hand was rubbing your clit in perfectly timed little circles. With his cock prodding right into your sweet spot and his fingers rubbing over your clit, you were quickly reaching your climax. Your skin was covered in goosebumps as you took everything in. The sensations of fucking him, of his hands on your body. The sounds of your ass smacking into his thighs with every bounce over him and your soft grunts and his moans all got you closer and closer to your orgasm. The coil of pleasure that seemed to be winding up inside of you was about to spring free. You were starting to tingle all over, your moans were increasing in pitch the closer and closer you got.Â
âOh fuckâŠoh fuck, Iâm coming!â You gasped and he groaned as he felt your walls pulsing erratically around his cock. You started to lose your rhythm as you came all over him.
âFuck! Fuck, youâre gonna make me come!â He warned as he started to thrust up into you hard to get himself to his orgasm and you all the way through yours. He was hammering into your g-spot and you were once again being pushed to the edge. You moaned his name in gratitude and praise as he fucked you through another orgasm. Harry held your hip with one hand while the other grabbed around your neck gently and tugged you down until you were moaning into his mouth. âGood girl.â He panted and kissed you quickly, âMâgonna come in you.â He panted and you groaned as he held you down hard, âShit, angel? Know you want me to fuck another load into your perfect, little pussy.â He panted and you nodded, âAsk for it, then.â He said and you whined but parted your lips to speak anyway.
âPlease come inside me, daddy! Please!â You implored, âI need tâfeel you filling me up, H. Please!âÂ
How could he resist that? He grunted deeply through a handful of thrusts before gabbing your hips hard and holding you down onto his lap as he thrusted up as deep as he could and ground up into your pelvis. You were trembling over him, legs feeling like jell-o as he shot his load deep into you. You could feel the warmth of it filling you up and it was making your brain start to fog. You leaned down and kissed him gently again. His grip on your hips started to loosen up and soon his hands were gently sliding up to your waist and wrapping around you, pulling you down over him as you continued kissing hungrily as you came down from your orgasms. You were both struggling to breathe but neither of you wanted to pull away. Pulling away only meant that this would end and neither of you was quite ready for it to be over. You stayed like that, kissing and cock warming until he completely softened up and started to slip from you.
âHarry, Harry!â You giggled against his lips, âI need to clean up before I get your cum all over my sheets.â You warned and he groaned and kissed you once more.
âAlright, go on.â He said lowly, voice deep and gravely due to how late it was. You tightened up as you knelt up and scurried to the bathroom. You sat on the toilet and let his cum leak out of you before letting yourself pee. You were just sliding your panties back on when Harry peaked in. âMay I?â
âYeah.â You nodded and moved to wash your hands.Â
âMâgonna steal a few wipes.â He said and you nodded.
âYeah, whatever you need.â You assured and hurried out to just check you hadnât stained the bed. Thankfully you hadnât and just as you were about to turn out the lights Harry emerged from the bathroom. He hurried back and settled in and then you turned off the lights. You both got comfortable again, only this time you were resting shoulder to shoulder, not minding the proximity. You fell quiet for a bit until Harry cleared his throat.
âAre you going to go out with that guy from Amante?â He asked and you sighed.
âI think soâŠitâd be a good distraction.â You mumbled tiredly.
âYeah, maybe.â He responded. âIf it pans out, maybe we can all go on a double date.â He joked and you snorted and reached over to smack his tummy gently as he chuckled.
âThatâd be so fucked up.â You chuckled.
âI know it might be weird, but can we still be friends?â He asked,
âWeâre always friends.â
âThen donât block me this time.â He said and you smiled.
âThen donât call me when youâre bored and horny.â You quipped back and he chuckled.
âDeal.â He hummed and you nudged your shoulder into his playfully and he nudged you back. You guys talked about random things until you dozed off side by side.Â
When you woke up the next morning, already later in the morning, you were alone but Harry had left a morning after pill on your bedside table with a glass of water, just as heâd promised.
âŠ.One Month LaterâŠ.
Itâd been a while since youâd crossed paths with Harry. Heâd been out of the country doing his things, visiting his girlfriend, and friends in other placesâŠreally just carrying on as normal. But him being out of the country provided you the opportunity to start to go out with others as you intended. Not that you couldnât do those things with him in the country, but knowing that he was off and with his girlfriend gallivanting around the globe made the fact clear that whatever you two had was definitely over.
Youâd gone out with Eric, the guy you met at the bar at Amanteâs, twice. And while he was fun to talk to, it just wasnât that strong of a romantic connection. He was nice and smart and very respectful, but he was looking for something that would turn serious quickly. You learned he had two kids and was divorced due to irreconcilable differences and he hoped that the person he dated could also bond with his children. You werenât ready to have anything to do with children, especially in the capacity of a caregiver, and because of that things didnât pan out.
You were doing well enough for anyone in your position though. You sort of threw yourself into your work for a bit, which had paid off for you since youâd been very busy. You were relieved that things seemed to be taking off for Harry, it made you feel like maybe he was working everything out with his girlfriend. Or perhaps he was just accepting the fact that if he wanted a future with her that heâd have to compromise on some things. And thatâs where you differed from him.Â
You knew what you brought to the table and you also knew what you wanted. You didnât think you were unreasonable in what you wanted from a partner, but your slim pickings made you think otherwise at times. You werenât afraid of being alone, you had been alone for most of your life, save for a couple unsuccessful romantic relationships. Your companionship needs were mostly met through the close relationships you had with your friends. And when you had other physical needs that you couldnât meet yourself, well you hooked up. It worked for you, you were still happy and quite frankly werenât in a rush, you just wanted to enjoy your life and your youth. And if a like-minded partner came along, then great! But that didnât mean that other people believed that you were happy with your current life path. So, when you had family things to attend you always sought out a date.
âIf anyone asks you how long weâve been together say we met a couple months ago.â You instructed as you came to a stop behind the small queue of cars outside of your uncle Robâs home.
âGot it.â Joe, your date for the night, chuckled.
âAlso, there might be a lot of famous people here so just try and be as collected as possible. Most of them are super fucking nice, but they just get weird if you start talking about their work.â You added and he nodded.
âGot it.â He confirmed. Soon enough you were getting out of the car and leaving it with the valet and you guided Joe to the side gate where everyone was entering.Â
It was your auntâs birthday and she was having a big party. There wasnât much decor apart from flowers and balloons but there were tables placed throughout the back lawn where everyone was eating from the couple of food trucks that were hired to cater. There was also a live band and the in-ground pool had been covered and turned into a dance floor. You immediately recognized a couple of people as you made it inside and greeted them with warmth and affection before introducing Joe. Of course he was bombarded with questions and you had told him before to just make things up and youâd play along. Based on what he was saying now, you two had met when you both rushed into a cab on a rainy night in the spring. He was animatedly telling the story and his audience of two were extremely captivated by his story, looking at him with adoration at his romantic tale.Â
You were giggling quietly, surveying the tables and queue formed at the bar to scope out your parents when suddenly your eyes locked on Harryâs. He smiled slightly at you and you returned his friendly gesture. It wasnât hard to miss the girlfriend he had his arm draped over. You watched in amusement as clearly, the person they were talking to had directed a question at him, but he was too busy staring at you. You saw her slightly turn back to him and grab his attention. He was just a little flustered and shook it off with a little laugh as he turned back to the conversation. You smirked and right before you turned your attention back to Joe, she turned in your direction and almost immediately locked gazes with you. You offered a smile and while she returned a rather stiff smile, you didnât miss the way she quickly eyed you up and down before turning her attention back to the other guest.
*************
Obviously, a lot of people wanted a moment of his time at this party, so it had been nearly half an hour before he had been able to go up and grab some food at the Indian food truck. He was just waiting off to the side, discretely scanning the crowd, hoping to spot you again, when his girlfriend grabbed his attention.
âH?â
âYeah, babe?â
âWho was that girl from before?â
âWhat girl?â He asked with a puzzled look on his face.
Of course, he was playing dumb, trying to make light of it to pull away any suspicion or probing. He hadnât spoken to you in months! Whatever sporadic flings you had in the past had stayed there. However, seeing you again had him feeling on his toes. He had hoped youâd be here tonight, if only just to get a look at you. Seeing you on social media was fine, but nothing beat having you there in the flesh. Getting to see what you wore, how youâd done your hair and make up, getting to hear your voice, and then letting all those things influence his wild and incredibly vivid imagination was something he had been looking forward to.Â
âThe one that distracted you when we were talking to Ralph.â She reminded.
âOh, her?â He chuckled, âThatâs Robâs niece, weâre friends. Iâm sure youâve met her before.âÂ
âI donât think soâŠIâve seen her around though.â
âYou didnât meet her at the Reggio show, last year?â
âNope, was never introduced.â
âOh well, if we spot her again we can say hello.â He smiled and she nodded before biting on her lip for a moment as she glanced around, trying to find you in the crowd again.Â
Finally, she spotted you and just stared for a little bit. She saw how you seemed to know everyone and how you just seemed to light up the conversations of the people you were engaging with. Even the man on your arm was captivated. She was a little more on the shy side, especially since she didnât know a lot of people here. And she couldnât help but feel a little put off the more she observed you from afar. It seemed that you were completely over the top, possibly an ass-kisser. Just another one of those opportunistic nepo industry plants, greasing the wheels at any opportunity youâd get and this was the perfect place to do that. She hoped that your paths wouldnât cross tonight, she wasnât in the mood to feign interest in someone who could possibly be using Harry to get her foot in the door.
************
The night had been unexpectedly fun for you, Joe was a hoot. And although youâd been planning on just dropping him off at home at the end of the night, the way he was handling all of these people had you seriously considering spending the night with him. Youâd run into a lot of people you hadnât seen in a long while, caught up with your parents and other family members, and introduced them to Joe. Youâd danced, shared some food with him, and on top of that, you had been actively avoiding a run in with Harry and his girlfriend like it was your lifeâs mission. You hadnât run into him yet, so you drank a little more, let loose, and right as you settled into that lovely, carefree, and vulnerable place in the bosom of your buzz you spotted him coming through the crowd. Once again your eyes locked and his smile brightened.
âY/N!â He called out to you and you smiled and raised your hand from around Joeâs shoulder to wave at him. You saw him pulling his girlfriend along behind him as he approached.Â
âHarry! Hi!â You greeted with excitement and started to stand. Now that you had a good dosage of alcohol in your system you were less nervous about seeing him. But as the pair got closer you noticed a slight jerk of his arm and realized that he was trying release his hand from hers but she wasnât letting him go. But after another tug he was free and hurrying ahead and then his body collided with yours in a tight hug.
âItâs good to see you.â He hummed as he swayed your bodies a little bit for a few seconds. Your hand rubbed at his back, right between his shoulder blades a couple of times before you started to pull back. He wasnât letting go though.
âH, let go.â You whispered discretely and he immediately loosened his grip before he twirled around to grab his girlfriendâs hand again and you turned to see Joe already standing.
âLove, this is my friend, Y/N.â Harry introduced you to her as soon as you turned around again.
âHello, itâs nice to meet you.â You greeted her with a smile and extended hand. She returned the pleasantry and you proceeded to introduce Joe, âThis Joe, my date.â You shared with them and Harry was quick to reach his hand out and greet him. When Joe then turned his attention to Harryâs girlfriend, you saw Harry size him up a bit and you smiled.
â-do you guys want to sit?â Is what you heard Joe ask and Harry immediately accepted and you saw his girlfriendâs face fall a bit before she put on a smile and sat as Harry pulled a chair out for her.
It was all small talk at first, but his girlfriend soon saw that you werenât being fake. Even as you talked about the most mundane things, you were positive and funny and engaging. It genuinely got under her skin that she was wrong about you, but you were just fun and good at being outgoing. It kind of made her blood boil because you werenât even dressed all flashy to get attention, it just came to you from everyone, including Harry. She was more than relieved though when Harry asked how it was that you and Joe met. Joe turned to you and you just smiled and nodded, allowing him to take over and share that. She just didnât want to hear your voice anymore, it was pissing her off.Â
So when Joe went off on his story-telling tangent about how youâd met at a cat adoption fair and were fighting for the same one, she just focused on that. Meanwhile, Harry stole a quick glance at you because he knew it was absolute bullshit. You really disliked cats, something to do with there only being room for one sassy ass-hole in your household.
â-and in the end I got the cat and the girl soâŠwin, win.â He smirked at you as he finished his story and you giggled.
âLucky you.â You hummed with adoration in your gaze.Â
Despite all of that bullshit, the way you were looking into Joeâs eyes was as real as it got. Harry couldnât help but feel his insides knotting up with jealously as he felt the tension between the two of you and saw that there was sufficient attraction there. His girlfriend didnât miss the way his jaw clenched for a few seconds before he reached for his drink.
âSo what did you say you did for work?â His girlfriend asked you.
âOh, I dabble in several things in the music industry, just kind of float about.â You gave her the short answer. It was the truth, you did a lot of things! You were a studio musician, you engineered, you composed, you assisted production and when you went off on that in specifics you found that you had to explain a lot and you were a little too buzzed for that right now so you kept it very surface level.
âMmmâŠIâm sure your uncle can help you get on your feet and connect with the right people to develop your skills if youâre still, you know trying to figure out what you're good at or find something moreâŠestablished.â She said with a polite smile, but her tone and the look in her eyes made you read between the lines. You were about to respond and just agree with the evidently irritated woman before you when Harry turned to her.
âActually, Y/N is a very accomplished musician by her own right.â Harry cut in and when she turned to him you just shook your head, asking him not to engage or jump in to try and defend you. You were used to these kinds of comments by now, but he ignored your cue. âShe plays like five different instruments and often plays in and edits for film scores. Werenât you the second chair cellist in the philharmonic orchestra right out of college?â He asked and you just smiled politely.
âThat was a long time ago.â You added, trying to make him get the hint to stop. âSheâs right though, Iâve been more interested in the composition and production side of things lately, so my uncle has introduced me to a few colleagues to help me learn the more practical side of that. Having a degree in it can only get you so far.âÂ
âYeah, but he doesnât like give you jobs just because you're his niece.â Harry said, cutting straight to the point of what his girlfriend had been suggesting.
âWell, no, I certainly need to earn those by my own merits.â You chuckled, âBut I mean, like anything in the entertainment industry, itâs nearly impossible to get into without some sort of internal connections.â You confirmed what she'd alluded to with a smile.
âOr without having the potential to be an absolute legend.â Joe added as he gestured towards Harry, who chuckled and glanced down at his hands on the table with a modest shake of his head.
âExactly. Whatever you have is so special. Itâs brilliant that youâre modest about it, because truly some people arenât.â You added, âBut I mean, we all know youâre one in a million, H.â You chuckled and he glanced up at you.
âWell, thank you for thinking that.â He said bashfully and you smiled.
âOf course.â You smiled.Â
After that, things got a little awkward with his girlfriend. So you tried to talk about her and what she had going on but she seemed to be quite shut down and the topic shifted to Joe and what he did. He was a sociology professor at the University of West London, so he had a lot to say if you guys kept talking about him. However, it wasnât hard to miss that she was clearly upset at Harry. She even seemed annoyed when he draped his jacket over her shoulders as a cool breeze started to blow around you all. Just as things started to get unbearably weird the music stopped.
âEveryone, if we can gather on the dance floor, weâre going to sing âHappy Birthdayâ in just a few moments!â Your uncle announced. You were so grateful for this divinely timed interruption.
âYay! Time for cake!â You said with excitement and shot out of your seat. Harry and his girlfriend stood as well and he watched as Joe chuckled at you and shrugged off his own jacket. He quietly asked if you were cold, âIâm alright, quite warm from the alcohol.â You assured him, so he just draped it over the chair.Â
You two waited for Harry and his girlfriend before making your way over to the dance floor with everyone else. It started to fill up and before long you all started to sing along to the band playing the âHappy Birthdayâ tune. You and Harry were standing beside each other and in your state, you were having a hard time ignoring your desire to nestle into his side and inhale his cologne. He looked so fucking good. Yes, Joe was a proper hottie, but Harry was Harry. You were drawn to him and he to you, you were magnetic.Â
You were starting to realize that it didnât matter how much time or distance you two let pass by, you were drawn to each other. And when you saw each other again you had to be near him and you loved that it felt like no time had passed at all. Your connection transcended time and distance and that terrified you, because you were starting to realize that if he wanted to string you along as his side piece for the rest of his life, it could very well happen. It didnât matter that it was wrong to everyone else because it didnât feel that way to you or to him.
And just as the band played the final note with a colorful flare, your aunt laughed happily and blew out the candles and everyoneâs cheering was interrupted by surprised gasps as some fireworks erupted in the sky. You smiled brightly as you looked up at the beautiful colors painting the night sky. And in the midst of your awe at the scene before you, you felt hisHarry's finger grazing your own and the air suddenly left your lungs. You felt your mouth dry up nervously and you swallowed thickly before extending your pinky out to graze against his own. You saw him smile from your peripherals as he locked your fingers together. Such a small gesture had your mind blurring and your body tingling with excitement and relief.Â
Shortly after the fireworks and some cake, people started to head out. You made sure to take Joe around to say goodbye to your family before they all left. They were all very happy to meet him and made it clear that they hoped to see him again soon. He nodded along but knew better than that. Regardless of reality, he was so sweet and acknowledged their kind wishes. He had really done an amazing job being your date and you were intent on repaying him all of the effort he had put in for you tonight.
âReady to go?â He asked and you nodded.
âI just need to use the bathroom. Do you?â
âNo, Iâm good.â He assured you.
âOkay, Iâm gonna try and sneak into a bathroom upstairs and then find my aunt to give her, her present. Can you grab the car from the valet? Iâll meet you there.âÂ
âYeah, of course.â He smiled and you thanked him and then dug the little ticket out of your purse before handing it over.Â
âAlright, Iâll meet you out there. I wonât be long!â You assured and hurried off.
**************
Harry kept a close eye on you after the crowd dispersed after the fireworks. He was itching to be near you again. Especially since his girlfriend was no longer in a good mood. He wasnât nearly as preoccupied about that though. He would certainly hear it all tomorrow when she'd let it simmer inside long enough that it just had to come out.Â
"I need to go to the bathroom before we go." she said.
"Okay, that's fine there's the line." he said nodding towards it, "I need to talk to Rob about something before we go." he fibbed and she hummed and glanced at the remaining guests. She hadn't said anything as she scanned the area, she was looking for you. Luckily for him, he'd seen you head into the house. "Look, s'getting longer." he said, refocusing her attention back on the line and she huffed.
"Damn it."
"Just go. I'll come find you when I'm done." he assured and she walked off. And he rushed through the crowd to get inside before she saw where he went.
**************
You were going to be quick about this since youâd left Joe to get in line for your car. As you washed your hands you gave yourself a quick look over and were pleased that your makeup was still intact and that you were still satisfied with the casual, black dress youâd chosen to wear. You then reached for the hand towel to dry your hands off and as you opened up the door you gasped in fright, not expecting to see Harry standing there in the dark hallway. He wordlessly pushed you and himself back inside before closing the door and looking right into your eyes.
âWhatâre you doing here?! If she finds out that youâre-â
âI donât want to think about her right now.â He shook his head, rejecting the topic you were trying to bring up. You were suddenly struggling to breathe as his hands came up to hold your face tenderly, âIâm so happy youâre here.â He whispered, âYou look so pretty.â
âYou look good too.â You returned the compliment.
âYeah?â He asked softly and you smiled and nodded, âDidnât shave because I hoped Iâd see you here. Know you like it when I grow out mâfacial hair.â He hummed softly and you smiled in endearment.
âAre you just gonna stare or are you planning on kissing me at some point?â You questioned with a smirk and he grinned as he leaned in.Â
Your kiss was a little unsuccessful at first, given that you were giggling and smiling like fools. But as soon as your teeth dug into his bottom lip he groaned and grabbed your hips before pushing you up against the door. Your lips met with urgency and you kissed ardently as his hips kept your body pinned to the door. One of his hands slid up the back of your dress and smoothed over your bottom. You were wearing a thong because of the sleek look of the dress, but you were glad that it was beneficial for this too. His other hand squeezed over your right breast before he started to fondle it as you held him close by the belt loops. He had just started rutting against your front when your phone started to ring in your purse.
âJust ignore it.â He mumbled.
âCanât.â You said and he huffed before kissing your chin and then working his way up your jaw and to your ear lobe as you blindly grabbed the phone out of your bag. You saw Joeâs name on the screen and answered it.
âHello?â You spoke quietly as Harry moved down to your neck.
âHey, thereâs one person ahead of me.â He informed and you held in a whimper as Harry started to suck right where your jaw and neck met.
âO-okay. Just looking for my aunt to give her the card I got her.â You fibbed.
âOkay, if they come before you get here Iâll wait right outside the gate.â
âAlright, Iâll be there soon.â You assured and hung up quickly without letting him say another thing. You hissed as Harry sucked a bit harder, doing his best to leave his mark on your skin. âH-how am I gonna explain this? I was trying to get laid tonight.â You mumbled and he chuckled as he pulled away and kissed his way back up to your lips.
âYou could still get laid.â He said with a smug grin as he hovered directly over you. His words were practically traced against your lips, it was making you dizzy.
âI think a fresh love bite from another man might be a bit off putting.â You replied with snark and he smirked.
âThen maybe you should get fucked by the person who marked you.â He suggested and you chuckled and sighed, âPlease, angel. Just one more time.â
âGo fuck your girlfriend.â You suggested playfully and his smile faded and he shook his head.
âI donât want her.â He responded as his eyes met yours with sincerity and clarity.Â
Hearing him say that filled you with a bit of arrogance but more than that, there was relief. Relief that maybe, he was as down bad for you as you were for him. You tiptoed and then grabbed his jaw before leaning in to kiss him deeply before pulling back.
âFind a way to sneak out and come over. Iâll leave a spare key taped to the inside of the little slot for the post.â You said and he bit his lip to try and diminish the size of his smile.
âOkay. Iâll text when I leave mine. Might be late.â
âSâalright. Iâll wait for you.â You assured him as you looked deep into his beautiful, jade eyes.Â
Something about the way you were saying it told him that you meant that in a way more complex than just plotting for a hook up. His gaze softened and he leaned in and kissed you delicately.
âWill you really?â He asked and you nodded, âThen say it again.â He whispered.
âIâll wait for you, Harry.â You mumbled against his kiss-swollen lips and he kissed you deeply once more before slipping out of the bathroom quickly.Â
You sighed and proceeded to lick over your lips. You could still slightly taste his minty lip balm smeared against them. You were smiling at yourself in the mirror, already feeling a little stupid for being so weak when it came to Harry as you shook your head and smirked before rolling your eyes.
âThe things I do for loveâŠâ
_ _ _ _
>> Read Part 2 >>
Let me know what you think!
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#Harry styles#harry styles fan fic#harry styles one shot#harry styles smutty one shot#harry styles smutty fic#cheater harry#cheater!harry styles#cheater! harry#harry styes cheating fic#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry x you#harry styles x y/n#harry x y/n#harry styles writing#harry styles girlfriend#harry styles fan fics#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles x reader#harry x reader#harry styles reader insert#reader insert harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fic recs#0nlythrowharrybeaux
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#thought that sounded familiar đ
#fourteenth doctor#the toymaker#simm!master#dwedit#doctor who#david tennant#john simm#neil patrick harris#doctor who spoilers#wasn't expecting to gif anything BUT#the part of me that will always be tumblr user johnsimms watched him give this exact speech to the toymaker with a hand over my mouth lmaoo#like the biggest part of ten that carried over was being a hussy huh đ€§đ€§#and when my dude is a TOOTH?? golden but still đ#seen enough dw to know teeth probably have ears so the doctor's gonna deserve that welcome home cheater banner waiting in the wings#fourteen#the master#dw spoilers#dianagifs#jsimmedit#dtennantedit
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i need more toxic prongsfoot btw. i need prongsfoot willing to tear the world apart for one another. i need prongsfoot who value each otherâs lives far more than their own. i need prongsfoot who just do not care about any other relationship in their lives the way they care about each other. i need prongsfoot who care so psychotically obsessed with one another that they canât physically stand to be apart. i need prongsfooot who are so fucked up and bonded together that words like romantic or sexual or platonic or familial donât even begin to describe it.
#this is to say i need cheaters prongsfoot sorry!#prongsfoot#sirius black#james potter#bambibelle#marauders#mwpp#harry potter#hp#cheaters prongsfoot
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FUCK Liam Payne! I will no longer support OT5 and I donât even want a 1D reunion anymore. Itâs so disgusting how so many of you defend these boys actions, but especially Liam, in light of everything that has come out. Maya Henry has every right to speak about her experiences. And itâs gross that Iâm seeing literal threads and tweets upon tweets of people calling her a liar and saying all these horrible things. Youâre proving Liam right! âNo one will believe you anyways and the fans will always defend us!â
Is that not absolutely horrifying to yall? That this man is weaponizing his fanbase against women that he has treated poorly? And yall continue to enable him! Everything Maya said in her recent TikTok was true! Yall defend this abuser because of boy band nostalgia? What the fuck is wrong with some of yall? It makes me sick. Itâs always âbelieve womenâ âbelieve victimsâ until itâs your fave, right?!
We donât know these people! âHe would never do thatâŠâ YOU DONT KNOW HIM! These parasocial relationships are going too far.
Whatâs scary is based on some of the stuff Maya said, I wonder if this is only the tip of the iceberg with Liam. Heâs probably done so much shit we donât even know about. Maybe even the other boys???
I know Iâm ranting and no one probably cares but some of the tweets I saw defending Liam were so triggering and upsetting. Trending hashtags like #FreeLiam and #WeLoveYouLiam when a woman CONFIRMED that he abused her is just so sickening. This is why women donât come forward. This is especially why victims of celebrities and people in power donât come forward. Because this is how theyâre treated. Maya literally even confirmed that Liam and his team have tried to silence her and didnât want the book to come out. I just⊠there are no more words.
This whole situation is so triggering⊠Iâm so angry and upset.
Fuck Liam Payne and Fuck all of yall defending him.
#Liam Payne#maya henry#one direction#tw abuse#if she is lying why isnât he suing for defamation#because sheâs not lying#Liam is an abuser and yall need to accept that#I will never support him again#and Iâm side eyeing all of the boys who will continue to associate with him after this#thereâs no way they or their teams arenât seeing the accusations#and Iâve been feeling weird about Zayn too ever since the alleged incident with Gigiâs mom#and some women have implied some stuff about him too so I just#and apparently Niall is a cheater which we been knew#Louis and Harry have their own share of drama#the older I get the more the parasocialness is wearing off thank goodness#we donât know these people#I wouldnât be surprised if 5/5 are actually horrible people at this point#donât even get me started on none of them speaking on Palestine#I could go on and on#this situation with Liam is just so messed up and fucking with me#like we knew since Mayaâs book came out but still#to hear some of it from her own mouth is different kinda#the stories she could probably tell#I feel so bad for her and hope she is in a place of healing and this doesnât set her back#end rant
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does this not seem sus to yall??
#kamala harris#vote kamala#kamala 2024#kamala for president#election 2024#cheater trump#election fraud#fuck trump#fuck republicans#fuck republikkkans
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Magnetic Part 2^**
A continuation of this fic where Harry cheats on his gf with Y/N and is basically pussy whipped.
Warnings: mentions of infidelity, heart break/break up, arguments/confrontations, mentions of alcohol & marijuana use, oral (f & m receiving) sex, unprotected sex, light dom/sub dynamic, light breeding kink, light pain kink, fingering, use of sex toy, daddy kink, forced orgasms.
WC:22K
HARRYâS POV
Things had been extremely quiet between Harry and his girlfriend since they got in the line for the valet and now well into the drive home. She was clearly upset at him, she was actively ignoring him when heâd glance over. But he was also a little bit frustrated with her for her attitude throughout the night. He was also annoyed that she tried to insinuate that you needed your uncle to find work, he had no idea where that had even come from! And while he had initially just thought about leaving it, the more he sat in silence with her, he needed to say something but he wasnât sure how to bring it up without making her more upset at him. And as they got closer and closer to his house, he felt his emotions just forming a lump in his throat. He needed to say something.
âBabe.â He mumbled.
He waited a few seconds too long before he heard her respond, âHm?â As she glanced up from her phone.
âYou know I love you, right?â He asked and she nodded, âWhich means I owe it to you to be honest with you.â He said and she straightened up.
âYeah.â She confirmed. Harry licked over his lips and she swallowed the lump in her throat as she waited for him to keep talking, mentally preparing to hear the worst thing.
âI justâŠI canât believe you tonight.â He sighed in disappointment, âI mean, what the fuck has gotten into you? You were so rude to Y/N!â He reprimanded her. She scoffed in disbelief.
âYou canât believe me?! I canât believe you!â She raised her voice hand in the air as she gesticulated her frustration, âYou have the hots for her!â She accused and he scoffed.
âI do not!â
âYou were eye-fucking her all night, Harry!â She accused.
âAll night?! We barely had a chat with them!â He shouted back as he turned to her, taking advantage of the red light. Her scowl melted into a dejected frown.
âAll. Night. Harry.â She said emphatically. He could see the sadness in her eyes, it made his stomach turn.
He sighed and shrugged in defeat, âSo what? SheâsâŠsheâs beautiful, I canâtâŠobserve that?â He asked.
âYou have a crush her.â She said and he frowned and immediately shook his head, denying her claim.
âNo, I donât!â He rebutted.Â
âHow do you know all those things about her, then?â
âWeâre friends!â He exclaimed and just held her gaze for several seconds. âWeâre friends.â He repeated.
âLightâs green.â She mumbled before turning away and Harry sighed and turned back to the road and took off. It grew silent again and he realized that he was feeling rather anxious about her finding out about him sleeping with you. He didnât want her to find out. God, just seeing the hurt in her eyes now had him feeling completely gutted. He couldnât do this to her and if it scared him then that was maybe a sign that he didnât want to lose her, right?
âBabe.â He mumbled again.
âWhat?âÂ
âIâm sorry.â He apologized, âI didâŠlook upon her lustfully.â He mumbled with a small smile and she turned towards him again. Harry glanced over quickly and was relieved to see her smile at him before he turned back to the road.Â
âThatâs all I wanted. For you to admit it.â She said.
âOkay, I admit it.â He said again, âItâs been a while since weâve seen each other, sâall.â
âHave youâŠbeen with her before?â She asked next and he sighed. âBefore us?â
âYes.â He responded and she clenched her jaw momentarily before exhaling.
âOkay.â She mumbled lowly, âIt was the past.â She said to not let it get to her and he nodded.
âExactly.â He reiterated. She then reached over for his hand and he let her grab it.Â
âI know sheâs your friend but I donât like her.â She decided and he nodded.
âThatâsâŠfine, you donât have to.â He chuckled a bit and she smiled upon hearing him say that. It was quite a relief to her that he didnât expect her to get along with you, it made her feel like he was in her corner, which she really needed after feeling so insecure tonight.
âI love you.â She said to him.
âLove you.â Harry smiled.
****************
As soon as you got home after dropping Joe off, you scurried up to your room and stripped down and headed to your lingerie drawer; you wanted to dress up for Harry. You had lots of lingerie, not because you used it a lot but because sometimes you just liked to feel sexy and youâd wear it under outfits when you were feeling less than confident before a gig or project or around the house while doing mundane things like hoovering or watching TV; it was mainly for you. As you browsed through your options you landed on a black lace bustier. You grabbed that and got it on before digging around for the bottoms. When you located the basically sheer thong that went with the top, you slid it up your legs and set it into place. You then made your way over to your hair accessories drawer and pulled out a big chiffon bow clip. You did a tousled half up-half down sort of thing, taking advantage of your loose curls. You then touched up your make up and got on some lotion and perfume before jumping into bed.Â
You knew heâd be a while so you started to watch a movie, but when it ended and he still wasnât here you got a bit worried. You checked your phone and didnât see anything from him. Maybe he was handling something with his girlfriend? Regardless, you waited around a little bit more, but when it hit 2am you knew he wasnât going to come. You were definitely disappointed, but more worried than anything because he wouldâve at least warned you. You didnât want to text him in case his girlfriend saw, so you just got through your nighttime routine before putting on another movie to help lull you to sleep. After staring at the TV for about 20 minutes you sighed and just reached for your phone and opened a text to him.
Hey, I hope everythingâs alright.Â
You hit send without giving it too much thought and then a second later the bottom of your screen read âNot Deliveredâ. You instantly felt a lump form in your throat and then bit down on the inside of your cheek to localize the pain that would just pang throughout your entire body otherwise. You felt hollow from one moment to the next, so much so that it made you nauseous and you sat and just inhaled deeply before slowly releasing out your breath as your eyes started to well up. Your throat was burning as you tried to hold back the urge to cry.Â
âGet it together, bitch, sânot even your man.â you mumbled to yourself before laying back down. You grabbed your phone again and just deleted your messaging feed with Harry. He had made his choice and you were left on the outside. But it was for the best. It was.
The following morning you felt more calm about it, of course you were sad, but it was good that he decided to focus on his relationship. Either way, your feelings for him were getting a little too strong, so it was far better this way. You didnât know what led to him blocking your number, but you were glad he had, it gave you a sense of closure. As much as you wanted to be upset about it you had no right to be. And itâs not like you could talk to one of your friends about it without brining shame to yourself and to Harry. You knew that they wouldnât judge you or be assholes about it, things happen! But admitting that you kept accepting his advances is what you were ashamed of. You didnât feel too guilty about it until now, when you realized that you had no one to talk to about this because it was embarrassing to have gotten to this point. You just needed to move on and also, you owed Joe an explanation.
*****************
Harry was feeling a hollowness in his chest and some guilt for standing you up and surely disappointing you in the process. He cared for you and he liked you a lot but he had a girlfriend and he did care for her. Yeah, things could be better in some areas but no relationship was perfect, so he needed to stop expecting a perfect match in every aspect of the relationship. It just wasnât realistic to expect that and he had to appreciate what he already had. To some maybe this sounded like he was settling, but he didnât think so. He was doing the mature thing and honoring the commitment he made to someone else. This was the right thing to do, especially upon realizing that if he didnât stop it now, he had no idea when or if he could down the line. It actually kind of terrified him because he didnât even know if you liked him in the same way he liked you. You were so good at compartmentalizing in this area, and he could too if he tried, but he liked you too much to do that.
He swallowed down the knot that formed in his throat, âFuckâŠâ he mumbled as he stared up at the ceiling, suddenly being overcome by what he could only describe as grief. Why did it feel like that?
âHarry?â He heard in the distance, âHarry, whatâs wrong?â His girlfriend asked as she stopped moving over him. He suddenly snapped back to reality, realizing that he had been so in his head that heâd forgotten he was in the middle of sex with her. He dug his elbows into the mattress to help him sit up and then he grabbed her hip.
âI want to stop.â He mumbled and she frowned, looking perplexed and hurt at his sudden shift in mood.
âAre you sure?â She asked, âI mean, whatâs wrong? Are you okay?â
âYeah, I just donât feel too good.â He grumbled and she slowly clambered off of his body.
âCan I get you anything?â She asked him and he shook his head.
âNo, Iâm just gonna have a shower. That should help.â He said and she nodded as he wordlessly got up and into the shower.
When he emerged from his shower he did feel a bit better, the anxiety of the choice heâd made had minimized enough that he could sit comfortably with it again. He had to stick to his guns not just for the sake of his relationship but for yours too. You didnât deserve this, just pieces of someoneâs attention and affection, you deserved someoneâs whole heart. Thinking back on it now, asking you to tell him that youâd wait for him was the most selfish and cruel thing he had done to another person. It made his stomach sink once again and he felt this awful pang of hurt strike him right in the heart before radiating out to his fingertips.
âH?â He heard some taps on the door.
âYeah?â
âDo you want some oatmeal with berries?â
âSure.â He called back before looking up into the mirror again and sighing. He had made the right decisionâŠit didnât feel like it right now, but with time it could- no, it would, get better. He had to believe that.
âŠ. ONE MONTH LATER âŠ.
You were a little bit nervous as you were getting your dress on to go meet Joe. After the Harry thing, you came clean to him as to why you had abruptly ended your evening and Joe was hurt. He felt that you had connected really well and was looking forward to getting some alone time with you and so he was very disappointed to hear that. You then said that you actually did want to see him and he felt like you were just rebounding him and when you assured him you were not, he asked you to give him some time to figure out if he wanted to continue seeing you again and you agreed. He had reached out to you earlier in the week and asked to see you and you quickly agreed. You were actually looking forward to it and hoped that heâd give you another chance because you truly had a wonderful time with him and could see yourself starting to like him if you got to know him a little better. You were getting close to the bar he had told you to go to and kept an eye out for him up front and finally you saw him as your driver slowed down.
âHere we are, miss.â The older gentleman smiled.
âThank you. Here you are.â You said handing him some cash, âI donât need change.â You assured him and he thanked you before you opened up the door. Seconds later Joe was at the door, extending his arm for support as you climbed out.
âHey, you look lovely.â Joe greeted you and quickly kissed your cheek and you did the same before pulling back.
âThanks. You look great too!â You smiled as you looked him up and down before looking into his eyes again. He was quite a sharp dresser, you were impressed with his personal style.Â
âWhat?â He sniggered.
âNothingâŠâ you smiled, âIâm glad you called.â You said with a small shrug and he smiled.
âCâmon, lets get inside.â He suggested and you nodded and followed behind him.Â
You had a drink while you caught up over what youâd each been up to over the last few weeks and just as you recalled, he was charming, funny, smartâŠthis man was a full fledged dream and you were willing to give him an honest shot. After you got another drink in you, you were well on your way to buzzed and were practically giggling at everything he was saying so you decided to share some spicy tuna on crispy rice boat things that just happened to hit the spot.
âWow, those were phenomenal. Great suggestion.â You hummed as you carefully wiped around your mouth incase you had smeared your lipstick.
âGlad you liked it.â He smiled. âSoâŠâ
âSo.â You responded with a playful smile as you looked up at him through your eyelashes.
âObviously IâŠam attracted to you. I like you.â He said a bit timidly, breaking eye contact as he spoke the words, but then looking back at you.
âI like you too.â You assured him when he looked back into your eyes. You needed him to know that you meant it. Being vulnerable was a very hard thing for you but when it came to peopleâs feelings the least you could do was reciprocate it. It often made you feel a little bit foreign in yourself but the relief and pride you felt in yourself that came afterwards as a result of your candor did a great job of washing out any negative feelings.
âUmmmâŠIâŠI was engaged just a few months ago and we ended it because she cheated on me with her best friend.â He explained and your smile immediately disappeared and a frown took its place.
âJoe, Iâm so sorry-â
âItâs fine.â He shook his head, âWell, itâs not fine, but Iâm starting to be fine, I think.â He explained and you nodded. âBut ummmâŠIâm not as ready to date as I thought I was. I think when I agreed to go to your auntâs thing I meanâŠI just needed a night of fun. I wanted to get my mind off of things and it was great!â He added and you nodded, âBut Iâm not ready to continue seeing you as more than friends.â He explained and you felt like the bubble of your buzz had been burst as your throat suddenly felt like it was closing up.
âI get it.â You smiled softly. âAnd I continue to feel awful about being so abrupt to end our night out after how much fun we had-â
âDonât be. I think if we had gone back to yours or mine I wouldâve like cried during sex or something.â He chuckled with a little bit of embarrassment.
âYikesâŠâ you hissed jokingly, in an attempt to lighten the mood and he laughed, which you were glad he did. âIâm kidding, I meanâŠit happens.â You shrugged.
âI suppose.â He smiled and was more than grateful that you were taking this all in stride. âI think Iâm also a little bitâŠscared of you.â He added and your brows furrowed in concern.
âW-why?â You asked cautiously and then regretted asking. Maybe you didnât want the answer anymore.
âLike I love that you were so honest about what happened, I genuinely appreciate that! But the fact that you just have men at your disposal like thatâŠit justâŠkind of made me feelâŠunsafe.â He said and your frown deepened, âWhich was such a contrast from how things felt at the party so it was like an emotional whiplash for me. And this is not to say youâre in the wrong for this! You have every right to do as you please, youâre a smart, beautiful, and fun single person, you know? Thatâs notâŠlike Iâm not trying to shame you for what you do in your own time, itâs me. LikeâŠI donât know how to not feelâŠupset by it?â
âItâs still fresh, what youâve been through with your ex-fiancĂ©.â You clarified and he nodded.
âYeah, I think thatâs the main issue here. Clearly Iâm not emotionally or psychologically prepared for anything with anyone right now. Sorry.â He apologized sincerely and you smiled and shook your head.
âI understand, Joe. Thereâs no need to be sorry.â You assured him, âIf anything, Iâm even more sorry for making you feel that way! It was a super shitty thing to do and you didnât deserve that.â With your gaze cast down at your hands, you apologized, but you felt even worse now because you were exactly the kind of person who had hurt him before. You were disappointed in yourself for being so careless with other peopleâs feelings; it was so disappointing.
Clearly, you had no regard for another personâs relationship and had slept with a taken man. Friend or not, it was a line that never should have been crossed, even the first time had been a little suspect to anyone looking from the outside in. Seeing Joe being so affected by his ex had you feeling truly ashamed over everything with Harry for the first time as you imagined how shitty his girlfriend would feel if she ever found out. It was easy to shut that off when you were with Harry or at least when you were on speaking terms, but the distance between you two and now Joeâs own experience was forcing you into giving every single possible consequence some thought and it was awful.
âUmmmâŠyou donât have to tell me but w-was itâŠHarry?â He asked, his volume lowering significantly when he spoke his name. You quickly glanced up and met his inquisitive gaze and after a few seconds he smiled knowingly and you bit your lip and looked away as your eyes started to well up. Not with hurt but actually with shame. You felt absolutely disgusting. âHeyâŠw-whatâs wrong?â He asked and you just shook your head.
âIâŠkind of hate myself for it right now.â You got out and he reached for your hand.
âHey, we all make mistakes.â He reassured you, âIâve been there too.â He confessed and you sighed, âLook, just because Iâm the victim now doesnât mean I havenât been the one in the hot seat.â He said with a smile and you chuckled a bit and nodded.
âYeahâŠI just never thought I was capable of doing something like thatâŠbut when itâs just soâŠrightâŠâ you sighed, âYou forget about everyone else.â
âYeah.â He replied, he was full of understanding, which you were more than grateful for.
âHow did you know? What did I do?â You asked as you rolled your eyes up, slightly irritated at yourself for not being as discreet as you believed you were. But Joe shook his head at you before responded.
âIt wasnât you at all actually, it wasâŠall him.â He chuckled and you looked back into his eyes again. âWhen he would look at you it was likeâŠyouâre the eighth wonder of the world.â He explained and your heart literally fluttered in your chest. âAs you were talking he likeâŠfollowed your every move, reacted to every little thing. Almost as if you were the center of everythingâŠâ he shared and you licked over your lips nervously, you were doing your very best to not let this information go to your head.
âAnd you know this how?â You asked instead as you looked at him inquisitively.
âHeâs a handsome guy! I was looking at him too.â He chuckled with a shrug and you giggled as well and nodded.
âYeahâŠthat he is.â You nodded in agreement.
After that you got on to a lighter topic but your mind was in some distant place thinking about Harry. About what Joe had just described to you. Youâd looked at Harry like he was the center of the universe before tooâŠÂ
âŠ. 22 JULY, 2023âŠ.
You always thought he was attractive, but seeing him at the Reggio show from the friends and family section had put him on another plane for you. You had a great view of the stage and of him and the big screen with him on it. The beautiful, powerful chords of the intro to Golden filled the air around you, the bass so strong that you felt a tickle beneath your feet as the earth reverberated with his music. The beautiful, golden lights glowing behind him made him look like a god. In that moment you were filled with pride and awe, you wished he was yours to love on after everything was over. But a few people behind you was the girl he was seeing. You were standing by Jeffrey and Glenne, you were exchanging excited glances as he walked up to the mic and greeted the crowd in Italian. One hundred thousand people simultaneously cheered in response. Youâd never heard anything like it! It made your heart skip a beat as your voice joined the battalion of them.
You bit your lip as your eyes honed in on his big, buff arms flexing as he strummed his guitar. You were trying not to get carried away thinking about how youâd bitten into the âcan I stayâ inked into his skin just a few days before in Portugal. You started laughing happily as you looked right at him, just about to burst with excitement and pride for him. And then his eyes met yours and itâs like the sound just dropped off and everything was muted down and delayed. You swear an eternity passed by as you watched his lips turning up until there was a bright and flirtatious grin on his face as he very quickly looked you up and down.Â
Your heart was hammering in your chest, you were aching to feel his lips on yours one more timeâŠthen he turned away and continued with his performance.
You were awestruck by him. You watched him give it his entire heart and soul to his audience that day, he didnât want to go, he didnât want it to end. And when it all ended and you were all hanging back and having celebratory drinks you got a brief moment with him when youâd run into each other outside of the bathroom. You hugged him for a few moments and smiled so wide.
âWas I good?â He asked.
âYou were phenomenal. It was iconic!â You praised him as you pulled back, âIâm so proud of you, H!â You insisted passionately and he chuckled.
âThank you. Iâm happy youâre here.â He said and you smiled.
âThank you for having me.â You chuckled. He grabbed your face gently and let his thumbs stroke over the high points of your cheeks. He smiled softly as he held eye contact with you for a few seconds before you blinked your gaze away, âUmmmâŠyou should probably get back there. I heard your dad asking around for you.â You informed him.
âYou met my dad?â He asked and you nodded, âBrad introduced us. I accidentally cursed in his face.â You sputtered on a laugh and he knocked his head back in laughter as he laughed from deep in his belly.
âWhat?! How?!â He questioned.
You laughed and shook your head, âHe was like, âH didnât do too bad, did?â And I was like, âOh yeah, he was so fucking brilliant!â, I was so excited for you!â You laughed as you explained, âI watched his eyes go wide at my passion. Heâs definitely gonna warn you about me.â You joked and Harry slid his hand down and then ran his thumb over your bottom lip.
âYouâre so fucking cute.â He grinned.
âYeah, so are you. Now go on.â You insisted and he looked at you suggestively with those pretty, bedroom eyes, âGo, H.â You said again.
âYouâre right.â He hummed as he let go and sighed before stepping around you as if nothing had happened.
âHey, Harry!â You called after him and he turned around, âFor the record, Iâm likeâŠalways right.â You smirked smugly and his lip twitched up as well.
âNoted.â He winked before disappearing for the rest of the night
âŠ.Flashback OverâŠ.
You blinked quickly a few times, not really sure how long youâd been zoned out for, âSorryâŠâ you apologized quickly.
âItâs alright. Touchy subject?â
âYeahâŠjust a bit.â You smiled and shrugged, âItâs fineâŠbut we just havenât talked since then.â You explained.
âHe fucked you and then ditched you?!â Joe asked with a frown.
âOh noâŠno, he changed his mind. He actually never showed. Which Iâm so proud of him for but with that came like a no contact thing so itâs been weird just guessing what he might be up to. Itâs kinda weird because we are friends, soâŠâ you trailed off.
âOh okayâŠI was about to say heâs a fucking prick.â He chuckled and you smiled and shook your head.
âNah, heâs quite the opposite. Itâs fucking infuriating.â You giggled and he nodded as he withdrew his hand.Â
âI want to keep in touch, YN. I mean, maybe down the line when Iâm moreâŠmyself we could try if weâre both still interested.â He said and you smiled.
âYeah, Iâd really like that.â You agreed.
At the end of the night you shared a taxi home, he wanted to make sure you got in okay. As soon as you made it past the threshold of your front door, your phone started pinging and you dug it out of your purse. You saw it was Goldie, sheâd sent several good luck messages and that you should catch up about it the following day if possible. You smiled and just called her. It was barely half past eight, she should be awake. When the phone stopped ringing you spoke into the receiver.
âHey, G. You alright?â You asked as you slipped out of your heels.
âHey, good and you? Howâd it go on the date?â
âUmmm, it was more of a âlets quit while weâre aheadâ type of thing actually.â You chuckled in response, âBut thanks for checking in.â You smiled. You couldnât wait to have a cup of tea and do anything to distract you from the slight disappointment you were feeling.
âBooâŠâ she replied and you shrugged. âSo what youâre home now?â
âYeah, literally just got in.â You replied.
âDo you need a distraction?â She asked and you smiled.
âI certainly could.â You smiled.
âOkay, Iâm actually out with Sam right now, weâre having drinks at The Ivy while we wait on Paul.â She shared, âCome! I donât want to third wheel!â She insisted, you slightly heard Sam asking who he was inviting, âY/N, her date night was cut short.â She explained as you seriously weighed out her invitation.
âI donât knowâŠI just got inâŠâ you grumbled.
âWhich means youâre already dressed up anyway!â She reasoned and you sighed and shrugged.
âSold.â You giggled.
âYay! Weâll see you here soon!â
âSee you soon.â You agreed and quickly went touch up your make up and get on a little more perfume before rushing out of the house again and walking to the main street to catch a cab. When you got in you spotted Goldie, Sam, and Paul chatting at the bar. Goldie grinned wide and waved you over with a bright smile.
âHi!â She beamed.
âHey everyone!â You smiled as you walked up and greeted everyone with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, âWhatâs going on?â You asked as you looked between them.
âWeâre just waiting for them to figure out the table situation. Harry ended up tagging along with Paul, they just finished watching Swan Lake. We didnât tell him that we had asked you to join already so theyâre just waiting for a booth to clear up for us now.â Sam explained and you smiled and nodded but your mouth went completely dry.Â
You could feel your heart starting to hammer in your chest and you were terrified of having to face him. It filled you with anxiety. You couldnât look at him and feel unfazed yet, it would just make you feel awful and guilty and like a complete piece of shit. Your stomach was twisting and your brain working against you as it came up with catastrophic situations and fed into your anxiety.
âUmmm G, I suddenly am not feeling well.â You said softly to her and she frowned in concern. She was just about to ask you what was wrong when Paul raised his arm, capturing her and your attention.
âH, over here!â Paul spoke up and you were suddenly feeling full of anxiety as Harry surely approached the group. You didnât want to turn aroundâŠyou couldnât face him yet. You werenât ready!
âHey, thank you for ummmâŠ.â He paused briefly as his eyes landed on you, âFor waiting.â He finished and Paul nodded and smiled. He then proceeded to greet everyone and you very stiffly hugged him back.Â
He started talking to Sam about the ballet and how incredible it had been. You were certain that if you had also been able to sit through several hours of Tchaikovsky before this run in youâd be just as composed as he was, if not more. You looked him over and smiled a bit, he was really letting loose. His hair was looking a little messy and he was growing it into some long-lost Gallagher brother-esque faux hawk-mullet hybrid that you were really loving. And his facial hair was looking fuller than before. You wanted to think he was letting himself go a bit because he missed you, but even if that were the case, he still looked infuriatingly good. And well, in his true fashion of always having to do something a little raunchy and edgy, he was wearing a t-shirt that said: I LIKE TO WATCH. If you hadnât been so anxious about seeing him you wouldâve rolled your eyes and commented it on it, maybe even gotten a lot turned on by his brazenness, but you were just trying to keep it together right now.Â
Moments later you were being guided into the booth and you ensured to stay on the end in case you just needed to leave quickly at som point. Much to your dismay, he was across from you and also doing everything in his power to prevent himself from looking at you. You had soon ordered your drink and everyone else did the same plus some food. Even if you were feeling peckish, you werenât sure you could stomach anything other than liquids at this moment.
âSo what happened with your date, Y/N?â Sam asked and then everyoneâs attention focused on you. You felt put on the spot and but responded anyway.
âUmmmâŠI kind ofâŠmessed up a tiny bit after our first date.â You explained and then frowned a bit, âThatâsâŠa lie. I majorly messed up. And he was taking some time to think if I was worth the risk, I guess? But as he thought about it he concluded that heâs not ready to see anyone in any serious capacity right now so weâre just going to stay friends.â You summarized your conversation with Joe from earlier in the evening âAnd wellâŠhere I am now.â You shrugged with a tightlipped smile.
âSo he asked you on a date to tell you he wasnât going to date you?â Paul questioned.
âWell, I think I just got excited and assumed it was a date. But ummmâŠit wasnât soâŠâ you shrugged before sipping more from your drink nervously.
âSo youâve been single for a while?â Sam asked. Youâd known Paul for quite a while, even before he and Sam got together, so while youâd known Sam for a few years now, he wasnât really in your circle until more recently.
âA while isâŠputting it nicely.â You mumbled in slight embarrassment, âTry five years.â You chuckled and his eyes went wide.
âHoly shit!â
âLook, itâs not for lack of effort! I go on dates a lot but ummm, nothing hasâŠpanned out really.â You shrugged as you glanced down at a little snagged piece of fabric on the table cloth.
âI hope you donât take this the wrong way, Y/N but you give âfixerâ vibes.â Sam said and you looked at him in confusion.
âWhat does that mean?â
âSam-â Paul started but he brushed him off.
âItâs not a bad thing! But she seems like the kind of person that makes men wish they were single again.â He said and Harry reached for his drink then, âLike look at her! Sheâs gorgeous and talented and smart and a fucking laugh! So when they inevitably get bored of their girlfriends and end it, they go to her and she shows them life can be fun again.â He said and you smiled slightly at him, âThat getting to know someone and being with them can be exhilarating! And being the sweetheart you are,â he glanced to you, âyou take care of these people. You nourish them, support them emotionally and physicallyâŠYou breathe life back into them, you know?â You nodded in understanding, âAnd then how do they repay her kindness? They leave her high and dry despite all of the good things she did for them. Thatâs a fixer. Not like she seeks them out to fix them, but they need fixing and they just come to her in order toâŠfeel something again but itâs never reciprocated.â He explained and you were trying so hard not to cry and scream âYES! THATâS EXACTLY MY LIFE!âÂ
âJesusâŠThatâs an awful thing to say, Sam.â Paul said with disapproval and he frowned.
âYouâre right. Iâm sorry, Y/N.â Sam apologized quickly. âIâve had a lot to drink already and I wasnât thinking.â He said reaching over Goldieâs hands to grab your own and you just smiled at him and shook your head.
âAw Sam, itâs alright, I know you didnât mean it in a bad way. Iâm not offended.â You reaffirmed, âIf anything IâmâŠhappy thereâs a term for it! Thank you!â You smiled sincerely and he smiled at you with a tenderness in his eyes.
âYouâre so fucking gracious.â He sighed, completely in awe of you, âI donât deserve you as a friend.â He shook his head.
âI promise you, weâre so good, Sam. Donât worry about it.â You reassured him and he nodded. It was still quiet at the table for a few more seconds and it was killing you, âAnywayâŠwhy didnât you two go to the ballet?â You asked Goldie and Sam.
âWe werenât invited. Harry only invited Paul.â Sam explained with a sassy smile as he side-eyed Harry who scoffed.
âI told you I was only gifted two tickets!â Harry said. And well, you couldnât help but wonder if he was gifted two ticketsâŠwhy he hadnât taken his girlfriend along?
âSo? You can afford it, Harry.â Goldie said matter of factly, a moment of silence passed before you all burst into laughter at Goldieâs comment.
âJesus, I didnât know everyone was so into the fucking ballet.â He mumbled making you all continue laughing.
 âYou didnât think maybe your friends would want to spend time with you?â
âNot on my dime.â He joked.
âItâs how the rich the stay rich.â Sam shrugged as you all laughed along.
âI kidâŠâ Harry smiled easily, âNext time.â He assured and Goldie looked at him with raised eyebrows, âI promise.â He chuckled and she grinned.
âIâll be waiting.â She hummed and then the topic changed again to something else that wasnât you and you were more than grateful about that.
You were getting tired mentally from going against every single signal your brain would send, tempting you to just stare at Harry and get lost in him. It was like there was this pull that drew you to his movements, you just wanted to sit and admire him. You wished you could scoot in beside him and feel his warmth coming off of him. You wondered if in another world you could do just that. Yeah, you knew that he probably missed you, but he hadnât picked you. You needed to stop being so pathetic by wishing for a miracle. Especially by staying so hung up on him despite the time that had transpired and the circumstance you two had been in. You just needed to collect yourself for a moment.
âIâm going to the bathroom. Be right back.â You said lowly to Goldie before standing and heading off. You heard Harry say, âMe too.â before the sound of his foot steps got closer and closer to you. You started walking a bit faster to make it there before he had the chance to catch up to you because you didnât need this right now. You needed the distance so fucking bad, no matter how much you wanted him close by.
âHey, wait up!â He called out as he fastened his pace to catch up with you.
âI was getting up to get away from you, you know?â You said with a smile as he came up beside you.
He glanced to you quickly, âSorry.â He smiled and you turned back to look ahead of you. âAre you doing anything after this?â He asked you and you glanced to him with an insulted look on your face and suddenly he gasped and grabbed your arm hard and pulled you into him. âAlmost crashed into a waiter.â He informed and you glanced up at him.
âThanks.â You said and he nodded.
âAnd I donât mean it like that.â He said, âJust want to talk. I have some things I need to say.â He said as you stopped before the bathroom doors.
âIâll think about it.âÂ
âOkay, thank you. Iâll offer you a ride home and ummm, if you decline then thatâs that. Sound good?â He asked and you nodded in agreement before you hurried into the bathroom. You just looked in the mirror, weighing out your options. Of course you wanted to hear what he had to say, you couldnât avoid him forever, and you had to start practicing your self control sooner or later. You could do this.Â
After Harry asked to talk to you and you had decided to hear what he had to say, time seemed to be moving slower than ever. Hearing him out could potentially help you move on as well, but now that you wanted to hear it it was like everything was preventing that from happening, it was making you second guess yourself and you started debating it in your head. Then, the next thing you knew Harry was standing before you asking,
âDo you want a ride home? The driver is heading your way after dropping me off.â He looked at you expectantly and everything fell still as you nodded.
âYeah, thatâd be great. Thank you so much.â You accepted and you watched as his lips turned up as he assured you it was no big deal.Â
You started saying goodbye to the rest of your friends before you were following Harry to the curb where his driver was waiting. You settled in as he shared the new plan for the evening with his driver for the night, Jaime. Next, he put up the partition before settling into his seat. He glanced up at you as he pulled out his phone.
âAddress is still the same?â He asked and you nodded and he started typing away and sent it off to the driver before setting it aside and looking at you.
âWhat did you need to say?â You asked and he sighed.
âThat Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry for putting you in the position I did.â You shook your head.
âIt wasnât just you. I was a willing participant.â You added.
âBut I always sought you out.â He said and you smile slightly and nodded, it was true.
âWell, I accept your apology. Thanks for that.â
âItâs the least I could do.â He said as he reached for your hand and you let him take it and you gave him a squeeze before letting go.
âWhat made you change your mind?â You asked and he smiled a bit.
âWe were fighting about you in the car and it hit me that I was terrified of her ever finding out about this. Like, I genuinely felt scared of losing her.â He said and you nodded in understanding. âWas the guy you had seen tonight still the guy from the party? The professor?â He asked and you nodded.
âYep.â You confirmed.
âBummer. Iâm sorry.â
âYeah.â You sighed. âIâŠreally hit him where it hurt. His fiancĂ©e was cheating on him, so when I left him for you, heâŠjust took it really hard.â
âShitâŠâ Harry frowned and you nodded.
âI know. It put a lot into perspective for me and likeâŠI donât want to be that person either. I donât want hurt anyone like that. This isnât fair.â
âYeah.â Harry agreed, âI want to be friends though. Youâre fucking sick.â He said with a genuine smile and you smiled down at your hands .
âThanks, so you are you, Harry.â
âYou know something? I still canât get over the fact that your favorite song is Burning Love.â He mumbled through a widening grin. âItâs justâŠyou donât seem like the type to listen to Elvis.â
âI donât. Just that song because thatâs what my favorite burger is called from the Red Robin burger chain, Iâd sing it every time Iâd have one and it grew on me.â You shrugged with a smile and he chuckled.
âYouâre fucking lovely, you know that?â He asked and you giggled and rolled your eyes playfully. Then a silence took over you two and he sighed, âI know I just said that I was afraid of losing her but ummmâŠcan I just say that things at home have beenâŠa little rough lately?â
âDo you want to talk about it?â You asked.
âDo you mind?â He asked back and you shook your head.
âI donât.â You assured him.
âWell, I donât knowâŠlike Iâm prioritizing us more, but I donât knowâŠwhen issues keep coming up and likeâŠI feel Iâm always the one having to compromise or apologize, you know? She doesnât like to work through things as they come up and it kills me. You know how I amâŠâ he said and you nodded, âAnd if I want to resolve anything I always have to take the blame and it takes a toll, even though I know itâs not always my fault.â He vented, âAnyway, sheâs out of town right now, sâwhy she didnât go with me tonight. But itâs for the best, I think. I just need a little space after we argue about something big.â He explained.
âIâm sorry, Harry.â You said comfortingly. âBut you know, sometimes things get a little worse before they take a turn for the better.â
âYouâre right.â He decided after a few pensive moment, âI really am trying to make that better sâalso why Iâve been so distant from you. Iâm just trying to prioritize her and us. Itâs not becauseâŠyou âfixedâ me and I bailed on you, or whatever Sam was saying.â He explained with a roll of his eyes, clearly still very irritated at what Sam had said.
âWell, I canât say I wasnât expecting it at some point.â You shrugged with a small smile.
âBut did itâŠfeel that way for you? That you wereâŠfixing the things I didnât like about myself in my relationship?â He asked and you shook your head.
âNot with you.â You assured, âWhat was there to fix? I donât think thereâs anything wrong with you for not liking everything about your relationship or how itâs panning out. As long as there are humans involved there are bound to be good and bad things, you know? And I mean, weâre all different and have different likes and needs. I mean, was it a dick thing for us to do? Of course it was butâŠI think what needed to happen, happened. And well, at the end of the day you realized that sheâs more important to you than the sex! And thatâs great. I mean, Iâm happy for you. Iâm glad that you figured that out.â you said with a smile, despite feeling like your heart was withering away little by little. You then looked out the window as you saw the scenery changing, indicating you were nearing his side of town.
âHey.â He reached for your hand again and you turned back to him again, âI just wanted you to know that yeah, the sex wasâŠincredible,â he smiled bashfully, âbut it wasnât just that for me.â He said and your lips turned down in a small pout as his words registered in your brain. âI started to blur the lines a lot, I mean, you know that and you always set me straight and itâŠhurt though. And seeing you with that guy-â
âJoe.â You added and he nodded.
âYeah, seeing you with Joe at that party made me so upset. I could see that you guys were into each other. Itâs why I went and found you afterwards.â He confessed, âI wanted you to have me fresh on your mind if anything were to happen between you two.â He explained shamefully and your eyes filled with sadness, âI was selfish and IâŠwas so out of line for that and then justâŠleft you hanging.â He sighed with a sad smile on his face. Your eyes were threatening to spill the tears that were already built up in them, effectively blurring your vision.Â
âAnd now, hearing what went down with him I feel like shit because I took that opportunity from you. I literally ruined that for you to just give you pieces of my attention when you deserve far more than that.â He frowned, âAnd while I have acted so selfishly when it comes to you, I really want you to know that I wasnât just using you for sex. Like I canât help but think that if we had run into each other again just even a few months earlier on the tour then we would probably be-â
âDonât.â You whispered as your tears started to spill over when he said that. He looked to you with concern as you sniffled, âFuck meâŠâ You whispered spitefully at yourself and he quickly reached over to grab a few tissues from the box nestled into the holder before him. You took them and expertly dabbed at your eyes.Â
âIâm sorry.â He apologized.
âItâs fine.â You mumbled as you dabbed beneath your nose as well.
âItâs not though.â He pressed as he watched you trying to keep it all together right now.
âIt is, Harry!â You snapped suddenly. The silence that followed between the two of you was deafening. âIt has to be fine.â You insisted assertively. It wasnât even three seconds before you immediately regretted your explosive reaction, âIâm so sorry for raising my voice at you, Harry.â You apologized immediately and his gaze softened.Â
He admired you so fucking much. You were so good at this part, at the hard things. You listened to understand, not to respond and fight back. He felt safe sharing everything with you, he wasnât afraid that you would judge him like he feared his girlfriend would sometimes. The proof was even in your sexual relationship, you tried things with him that he had been judged for in the past just because they probably werenât expected to be part of his preferences. He certainly had a deeper interest in you, just based off of the time your lips werenât attached to each others, you connected so well. You could talk about things as silly as your preferred brand of ketchup or as serious and daunting as the state of the world, and then find a way to transition into passionate and genuine sex, the most primal form of human connection. SoâŠwhen he had moments like this, where he was reminded of how fortunate he was to know you, things got a little bit murky in his brain, which is why he responded to your outburst in the following manner.
âItâs alright, angel.â He reassured you as he grabbed your face gently in his hand. The term of endearment he used for you just slipped out and made him fall into this much more intimate space that you two had shared before. When he realized what he had done he sighed, âMaybe this was a bad idea.â He said as he pulled away. Watching him go from so vulnerable to regretful of it was so painful and he could see it in your eyes, âI never intended to hurt you with this.â He said with a sense of remorse sinking into his chest, it was making him feel like breathing was getting harder to do.
âNo, I needed to hear all of this toâŠhelp me move on.â You said and that made his guts twist with hurt, but he nodded along with a small and unconvincing smile anyway.Â
You could see in his eyes that his mind was off somewhere far, far away from this place. You too wanted to be so far removed mentally and emotionally, but you really needed to bask in the hurt and the feelings of disappointment of what couldâve been so that you could just really get it through your head that this was absolutely done. Yeah, you wanted to stay friends but you both needed to shake your feelings before you could be together in any space again without feeling that pull that was still there, even now.Â
âUmmm, I know we said that we want to stay friends, but I think we need to give it some time just toâŠnot risk repeating history, you know?â You suggested.
âYeah, youâre probably right.â He agreed as you guys turned onto his street. You looked out the window as you drifted off into thought.
One of your friends from university had contacted you about coming to help with his debut album, it would require you going back to America for at least three months. Maybe more if any major changes or hitches occurred in the project. You hadnât decided yet, but maybe you should do it. A change of scenery and pace could help you move on. You could reconnect with old friends, meet new people, get your creativity flowingâŠthis could be really good for you.You remained silent until you were pulling up to the perimeter gate around his property line.
âWellâŠâ you sighed as the large gates started to part after the driver input the code.
âDo you need the bathroom or water or anything before you go?â He asked and you shook your head. You knew better than to go into his house right now that his girlfriend was gone. You knew he was just being polite, he didnât mean it suggestively.
But then again, with your prior arrangement, he could have you even now if he wanted. Youâd let him. Youâd want him so long as he wanted you, so you it was easy to give him that power over you. He knew that already and with one shared gaze you could see that he was thinking exactly what youâd been thinking. You smirked knowingly and he just smiled so brightly as he grabbed your face and smushed his lips to your forehead.Â
âCheeky.â He mumbled before pulling back to meet your gaze again.
âSaid the pot to the kettle.â You sniggered and he smiled down at you.
âTake good care of yourself, love.â He said as the car rolled slowly to a stop.
âYou too, H.â You smiled as he leaned in to hug you. You quickly kissed cheeks before he pulled back and slid out of the backseat. He rounded over to the driverâs side and you rolled the window down to see him off.
âJaime, thank you so much mate.â Harry said as he handed him over a generous cash tip.
âH, not this again.â He said pressing it back towards Harry.
âIf not for me, at least for making the extra stop.â He said, âPlease. I insist.â
âThis is the last time.â He grumbled and Harry chuckled.
âAlright, well get her home safe, for me. Precious cargo.â Harry said as he smiled at you.
âCertainly, H. Good night.â Jaime said and he bid him goodnight before reaching for your hand and holding on until Jaime had driven you far enough that your hands pulled apart. You slid back into the window and rolled it up. You didnât even feel like crying, you felt alright for now. But the important thing was that you left each other well and that was the best thing that couldâve happened. Yeah, it hurt that it seemed like youâd missed each other in life but at least there were memories you could share.
âŠ. TWO MONTHS LATER âŠ.
You were currently crowded into the corner of the rooftop at The Roosevelt for some fashion ambassadors event by some brand. Your friend, Monty had been booked as the entertainment for the evening and he pulled you in to play the bass for his band at the last minute. You were just grooving along as you played âSomethingâ by The Beatles. You loved playing this song, it had such a fun and iconic bass line. And as you looked around the crowd you caught a glimpse of Harryâs girlfriend in the audience, she was looking right at you and when your gazes met she turned away and started talking to the person behind her. You found that odd, but decided to leave it. Youâd only interact if your paths crossed.
But just as fate would have it, as you walked up to the open bar during a break in the set, you both just happened to break through the crowd at the same time and stepped up to the bar together. She glanced at you and you smiled at her.
âHey. Itâs nice to see you again.â You greeted her politely.
âHi.â She smiled half-heartedly and her gaze was kind of cold.
âHow are you?â You asked her a bit awkwardly.
âIâm fine and you?âÂ
âIâm good. Been pretty good, been out here for a couple months already for work.â You shared and she hummed with a polite smile. It was awkward because you really werenât friends or anything, so you decided to bring up the person who had been the common link between you two. âH-howâs Harry?â You asked and her smile dropped immediately.
âLook Y/N, Iâm sure youâre a nice person but I donât want you going near him anymore. I donât care if youâre friends. Iâm sorry if that offends you, but I just donât trust you.â She said lowly. You didnât know if he had told her what had transpired between you two but itâs the only thing that made sense. And because of this, you nodded in response, letting her know you understood and respected her wishes. She looked hesitant before speaking again, but said it anyway, âI know youâŠslept with him.â She informed you, voice still softer than before and your throat dried up.Â
You couldnât breathe and you just felt completely humiliated as you looked right in her face as she said this to you. But now it made sense, why she was acting so cold towards you. She knew what you and Harry had done and now you had to face the music, like an adult. No excuses and no shifting blame. All you could do now was apologize to her for sleeping with her boyfriend and assure her that it was purely carnal and it would never happen again.
âIâm so sorry. I know you might not believe me but I mean, I feel awful about the whole thing. I swear it wasnât more than those couple of times and it was purely physical. I havenât tried to contact him at all or-â
âCouple of times? Why would you feel bad about sleeping with him before?â She questioned with confusion and you suddenly felt your stomach drop to the ground as you realized that she in fact didnât know the full story. Well, now she did and you could see the cogs in her brain turning as she pieced the information together.
Harry had told her something else and you had no fucking clue what that had been! You knew you had to get out of this somehow, but you were completely frozen as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Itâs not like you could take back what you had said. But if you could give anything up in the world to turn back time and say something else, you would. Your eyes started welling up as you felt this sense of doom starting to seep into your body, it traveled from deep in your guts to the rest of your body as she looked at you expectantly. You shook your head and she stepped closer to you.
âHow many times, Y/N?â She asked and you shook your head again, âFucking tell me.â She pressed, trying to keep her anger at bay.
âFour or five times. I-i think.â You stammered as your tears started to streak down your cheeks.
âWhen was the last time?â She asked and you swallowed thickly as you fought to keep the words in. âY/N.â She pressed and you sniffled.
âLook, he loves you and he-â
âTell me, you fucking slut.â She hissed quietly, all you could see in her eyes was rage.
âM-march.â You said and she inhaled deeply and pressed her lips together for a second before looking off as she processed the information. She then turned to you with disgust painted all over her features, âFuck you. Stay the hell away from him or else. Do you understand?â She admonished and you nodded quickly as you blinked back tears before hurrying off.Â
You were panicking as you searched around for Monty, he had the room key for the suite you had been given to hang out in during the day. And right now you needed to get to your phone and warn Harry before she got a chance to go off on him. You were weaving through the crowd trying to find Monty and then you spotted Harryâs girlfriend leaving the event with her phone pressed to her ear and a scowl on her face. That image alone made your stomach turn uncomfortably and one single thought crossed your mind: Harry was going to hate you forever now.
****************
Waiting for Harry to call you was miserable. Hours passed, then, it had been a day. Then, two days. Then, a week. And once that week hit you were resigned to the fact that even your friendship with him was over and thatâs why he wasnât talking to you. You hadnât meant to sabotage him or his relationship, but youâd made his worst fear come true. You were dying to reach out but you were scared that youâd just make things worse.Â
But also, how the hell were you supposed to know that heâd said something else about your relationship? But just the way that she had been acting towards you made you believe that she knew that you two had slept together while they were dating. If heâd been single when you slept together there was no need to for her to be acting upset or cold towards you unless she was just extremely jealous. Which now, was more than justified. The only other person you could turn to at the moment was Joe because he had figured it out on his own, but you didnât want to bother him with any of this. It wasnât his to fuss over and he was still dealing with his own infidelity problems. Your time in LA was coming to a close quickly and you were petrified.
You were so nervous to go home. The community in London was quite small and word got around fast, especially when the gossip involved someone as famous as Harry, it was one of the downsides of his success. But if you had made the mistake, then you needed to face the consequences of the mistake as well. If you lost friends or if people stopped trusting you then, so be it. You had done something awful and you had to tough it out.
âHey.â You heard and turned around to see your friend Monty stepping out onto the small balcony that came with his apartment.Â
âHi.â You responded with a small smile and he came over and plopped down into the seat beside you and exhaled slowly, like he was letting something off of his chest.Â
You were crashing in his guest bedroom for the duration of your stay and were taking advantage of the Southern California sunsets while you had the chance to. Your trips to America were mostly to New York and it was so different than this. People were in a rush here too, like in every big city, but they were so much nicer about it here. Well, so long as your decision making didnât take time out of their day. Regardless, you werenât ready to go back to the reality surely awaiting you in London.
âYou alright?â He asked and you nodded, âSure? Youâve beenâŠweird.â He said with a small smile and you sighed.
âI did a bad thing, Monty.â You said and he frowned, âA really bad thing.â
âD-do you want to talk about it?â He asked and you smiled.
âDependsâŠjust promise you wonât judge me too harshly.â
âI wouldnât dream of it.â He replied and you smiled, but then it faded away and you sighed.
âIâŠhad sex with one of my friends. Multiple times. But heâsâŠin a relationship.â You admitted and he turned to you.
âThatâs it?â He asked seriously, but seconds later a smile broke past his lips and you chuckled.
âThanks for tryingâŠâ You mumbled and he laughed.
âYeah, of course.â He chuckled, âBut ummm, seriously, there are worse things you could do, Y/N.â He said.
âI suppose soâŠâ
âMore seriously though, we all make mistakes. And I know you well and I know that you wouldnât just do that for anyone. You must really care about him if you were willing to break all the rules for him.â
âI do. But feelings donât justify hurting another person. And wellâŠI ran into his girlfriend at the gig last week and she said that she knew we had slept together and so I assured her that it was just those couple times but she didnât know it was a couple of times or that it was recent. She thought this had happened while he was still single, which the first time we did, he was!â You explained, âBut her confrontation made me panic and IâŠspilled my guts! So IâŠdid a bad thing and then probably ruined his relationship on top of that.â You sighed, still feeling the guilt making you feel sick to your stomach.
âLet me stop you right there.â Monty smiled, âYou didnât ruin their relationship. He ruined it himself by pursuing you. If he truly loved the person he was with, nothing could make him stray. So stop taking responsibility for things that arenât yours to be responsible for. You hear me?â He asked and you nodded a few times with a small smile. âNext thing, forgive yourself in your own and donât do it ever again. You learned the lesson didnât you?â
âYeah.â You confirmed.
âThen stop torturing yourself and move on.â He advised, âIt might take time, but take the first step now. Sitting here and torturing yourself over something thatâs in the past is not going to do anything for you or for them.â
âHe hasnâtâŠreached out or anything. I really thought he would.â You said with a small voice and Monty hummed.
âBut, you know what that means then, right? That heâsâŠmade his decision and itâs not you.â Monty stated and you exhaled shakily as a few silent tears streaked down your face.Â
âYouâre right.â You concurred before looking ahead again, watching the sky change colors as the sun sunk deeper and deeper into the horizon.Â
********************
You were finally getting home after the near 11 hour flight from LA. You were nervous to run into Harry because you still hadnât heard from him and assumed that it was because of the same thing Monty had told you, he was working things out with his girlfriend. She had wanted you out of his life, she said it to you herself. So it made sense why he hadnât reached out to you. You imagined that he hated himself a little bit for doing it this way, but if it gave his partner peace, he would sacrifice his preferred method of dealing with shit and find closure another way. You were similar to him in this as well, you wanted to apologize to him and explain that you didnât air his dirty laundry on purpose! Even if he still decided to never speak to you again, at least youâd get to say your piece! Youâd definitely prefer his silence from that than the âpretend Y/N doesnât existâ method he was using now. But considering you might not have the chance to do that, you too needed to find another way in which to close the door on Harry for good.
Your thoughts were racing as you cycled through your tasks in a disorganized fashion. You had started unpacking your luggage to put things in the washing machine but then decided that you needed to brew yourself some coffee to help keep you awake so that you wouldnât have jet lag. But while you waited for your coffee to brew you decided to have a quick body shower so that you could complete all your tasks in a fresh and comfy outfit. And when you emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel you groaned and saw the outfit you wanted to wear was sitting in the dirty laundry portion of your suitcase. You were starting to get annoyed and decided you needed your caffeine immediately. And when you made it to the kitchen you saw your empty mug sitting under your Nespresso because you forgot to add water to it and that was your last straw.
All of the anger and frustration that you had pent up inside from the situation with Harry, how tired you were, and how scatter-brained you felt just bubbled over and you grabbed the mug in fit of rage and threw it on the ground, shattering it into an irreparable heap of ceramic.
âFuck my life!â You shouted, your chest was rising and falling dramatically as you started to get choked up. You sniffled as your tears blurred your vision and you started to cry. Youâd been trying to keep it together, to not be upset at any of it because you had been the one in the wrong, but it still hurt. It hurt to know that Harry had feelings for you but not enough to choose you. It hurt to know that your friendship with him was more than likely over. It hurt to know that youâd compromised a part of yourself, that youâd stooped so fucking low for absolutely nothing at all in return! All youâd truly gained was a fuck ton of self-loathing and you couldnât pretend that you didnât deserve it because you absolutely did.
*****************
Harryâs POV
When Harryâs girlfriend called and confronted him about what youâd shared with her at whatever party you two were at, he was livid. He immediately thought the worst thing, that you were trying to get him back or to sabotage his relationship. But when the initial wave of rage subsided and he was able to think a bit more rationally, he recalled how youâd also respected the fact that, thatâs where he would be focusing all of his efforts. And you had said that you cared for him and if that were true, you would never do anything to hurt him on purpose. He had to believe that and he had to cling to that.Â
When his girlfriend returned home she gave him an ultimatum, if he wanted things to move forward in their relationship then he had to leave you out of his life. He felt sick to his stomach upon hearing that so heâs not sure why he agreed to it so easily, but he did. It had been weeks now and the more days passed by, his regret in this decision only grew. He was sitting in mediocrity, in routine, and a lot spite towards himself. Did he deserve it, yes, but he couldnât see a world in which they could make it past this with the way she was acting. She would just pretend she wasnât upset about it and then when theyâd have a disagreement it always got thrown back in his face, no matter how much he apologized for it. When heâd ask what he needed to do to make it better sheâd say she didnât know or when he wanted to help her understand why he did what heâd done, she didnât want to face it! But when sheâd get frustrated about it, sheâd blow up on him and not let him respond. And it started to sink in that he had made a mistake in trying to force things to work with her and he had to say something.
This is why he found himself waiting up for her to get back in from a rehearsal. He needed to get some things off his chest. Harry was one to talk things out, he didnât like to sit on things and let them brew and fester like she did. And thatâs what heâd been doing a lot of lately, just sitting in dissatisfaction. When he heard the front door open he sat up, more than prepared to just get the conversation over with.Â
âHey babe, still up?â He heard her approaching.
âYeah. Waited up.â He responded and she smiled as she came through the door and directly to the bed and kissed his lips. He was a little stiff in returning the kiss and she sniggered, âWhatâs the matter?â She asked, with a dimpled smile adorning her face. And as he looked into her eyes he just felt the need to be honest with her.
âUmmmâŠIâŠI canât do this anymore.â He said softly and her smiled faded. She blinked a few times, as if she were trying to determine if this was real or not.
âSeriously, Harry?â She scoffed with an angry but surprised expression on her face.
âIâm sorry.â He apologized as he looked deep into her eyes to show his sincerity, but soon her eyes were narrowing into angry slits.
âWaitâŠAre you dumping me for her?â She asked and he sighed. âOh my godâŠâ she mumbled incredulously as she stood and paced around as Harry got out of the bed and walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders from behind and she whipped around, âDonât fucking touch me!â She shouted at him and he frowned but nodded. âWhat does she have that I donât, Harry?â She asked sadly and he shook he sighed. He didnât want to go down that road, she never saw when she was in the wrong and it would just make things worse, but he needed to be honest.
âItâs not that thereâs anything wrong with you.â He explained, âItâs just different with her and sheâs moreâŠopen to things th-that you donât like and that I find myselfâŠwanting more of.â He explained and she scoffed.
âThatâs it?! All the sex shit I refuse to do?â She asked through a scoff, âAre you fucking kidding me?! You know, sheâs only into that shit because sheâs fucked up, Harry! Only a fucked up person can find pleasure in being used and degraded that way!â His features furrowed in offense.
âSo what does that make me then?â She frowned when she realized what sheâd just said.
âHarry, itâs not-â
âNo, please, give it to me straight! It was my idea, Iâm the one who brought that into our affair and she liked it. So if sheâs fucked up for liking it, then what am I for wanting it?â He questioned and she shook her head.
âI justâŠI donât understand it.â She said, âItâs notâŠnormal.â She elaborated and he smiled sarcastically.
âYeah alright, letâs say youâre right and itâs not. So what we do is normal?â He asked her, âJust the same thing, over and over and over again? After a fucking year together you refuse to even try new things with me! All you do is judge me for it? Itâs like you donât trust me!âÂ
âI donât! I donât trust you when youâre in that headspace, Harry! What if you hurt me? What if you canât stop?!â He rolled his eyes.
âIâm not a fucking monster!â He shouted back, âThatâs the fucking point of all of it, to exercise control or to relinquish it! Itâs all a two way street! But quite frankly, it never has been with youâŠâ he said and she scoffed.
âI do things for you!â She shouted back and he rolled his eyes.
âYeah, your half-assed head really makes me feel close to you.â He murmured sarcastically and she groaned.
âYou know that I donât like to because youâre too big for my comfort and I donât want to get all messy andâŠit doesnât make me feel good! It makes me feel cheap and used!â She shouted back and he nodded.
âYeah, how do you think I feel whenever Iâm the one pulling all the weight in our sex life and in this relationship? I want to enjoy it, I want feel good in this relationship too!â He exclaimed, âI fucking dread it when I know you want to fuck! Or when youâre upset at something! I really fucking do!â He confessed and it felt so good to say it and she frowned deeply upon hearing him say that.
âSo thatâs all that matters to you? The sex?â She asked sadly.
âOf course not, but itâs pretty fucking important to me.â He said and she rolled her eyes.
âAnd what about everything else? What about the emotional and intellectual connection we have? W-we have that down at the very least donât we?â She asked and he sighed.
âSureâŠbut itâsâŠmore w-with her.â He said and she shook her head in disbelief, âThere are things about how she is that justâŠresonate more with me. Itâs not just the sex, itâs a lot of things that we deal with more similarly.â
âOkay, like what then?â She asked and he sighed.
âLike now, when weâre arguing about something or needing to discuss something serious. YouâŠjust pretend like nothing is wrong until you canât handle it anymore. And when I try to talk about it then this happens! You just shout and shout and never fucking listen t-to what Iâm trying to say or how I feel. And when I try to bring that up, you always say youâre not ready to talk about it!â
âYeah, I like to think through things, Harry! Not argue in circles!â She defended herself and he groaned.
âWe only argue in circles because you donât listen to anything Iâm trying to say to you!â He explained already feeling exasperated, âYouâre doing it now! Things donât have to escalate into a fight whenever we disagree about something, we could discuss it. Thatâs the point of talking it through then and there. While emotions are fresh and the situation is at hand! You use your words to communicate how you feel and what you want. Iâm not a mind reader, I donât know what youâre thinking or how long youâre gonna take to think about things, at least communicate that!â He explained and she sighed.
âWell, thatâs not how I like to do things.â
âWell, there are two people in this relationship. Two different people with their own needs and expectations, not just you.â He said and she scoffed.
âOh please! And all this with Y/N wasnât just about you? Fucking someone else while we were together, that wasnât selfish of you?â
âOf course it was! I know it was and it was wrong of me. I recognize that I made a mistake in going to another person.â He accepted, âAnd Iâm sorry that youâve been hurt in the process. She told me, multiple times to just talk to you so that I wouldnât have to go find happiness somewhere else and I tried! I really fucking tried and itâs justâŠnot happening for me with you.â He said sadly.
âAnd what, sheâs going to make you happy?â She asked sarcastically.
âI donât know, but I have to try, if only to rule out the fact that sheâs not the one for me.â Harry said and thatâs when she started to cry.Â
Of course he felt awful about it, but just now, hearing her even say some of the things she had said made him feel like he didnât fully know her. And more than that, the things she had said were mean and offensive. He understood that she was hurt, but heâd never considered that she could stoop that low, even when angry.
âI fucking hate you.â She seethed as she stormed off into the ensuite and he sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Moments later she returned with the clothes from her designated drawers piled up in her arms and she dropped them on the bed. âCan you at least grab my suitcase from the top shelf? I canât reach it.â She said and he nodded and did as she asked.
âDo you want me t-to give you some space?â He asked and she sniffled.
âDo whatever you fucking want, Harry.â She mumbled through her tears as she continued putting clothes into her large suitcase. He sighed and stood before going down to the kitchen to set the kettle for some tea.Â
It was about twenty minutes later when she called him up to help her bring her things down as her friend would be arriving soon. He did just that and soon she was coming down the staircase with her duffle bag hanging off of her shoulder.
âWhere are you going to stay?â He asked.
âWith a cast mate.â She mumbled, âAt least until I can go back home.â She said and he nodded.
âCan you just let me know when youâre in safe for the night?â
âOh, now you careâŠâ she mumbled.
âI do care about you. I have this entire time, I just-â
âCare about her more.â She said plainly.
âI was going to say that Iâm just not in love with you anymore.â He said and she sighed.
âYou know, I donât think I am either.â She confessed, âI thought we were fine butâŠI guess, fine is rather anticlimactic in a relationship.â She said morosely.
âYeah.â He concurred. Then, her phone chimed to indicate her ride was here and she went over to the security keypad by the door and opened up the gate for her friend to get through. He helped her get her things outside and into the boot of the car. She came over with her duffle and he grabbed it from her and neatly set it beside her suitcase before pulling the door of the boot down gently.
âIf I find anything else of yours should I send it to your flat in New York?â He asked.
âYes, please.â She confirmed.
âOkay, no problem. I really am sorry, I know that I went about things the complete wrong way, but-â
âYou know what, just save it, Harry. I really donât give a fuck.â She said with a tired smile and he licked over his lips and nodded awkwardly before clearing his throat.
âWell, thenâŠI uh-â
âI really hope that fucking whore is worth it for whatever time you have together.â She cut him off, âAnd I hope itâs painfully miserable for you two and that she cheats on you too. And when she does, because a whore canât help herself, and I inevitably hear about it through the grapevine, just know Iâm going to be so fucking ecstatic. I will not hesitate to reach out to you just to rub it in your stupid, fucking face, Harry.â She said spitefully and he couldnât help but smirk as she wished him ill. He just had never seen this side of her.
âAlright, love, you do that. Use up all your free time to keep tabs on me.â He mumbled sarcastically.
âFuck you, Harry!â She spat before walking around him to get into the car. He sighed as he walked back up to the front door and he heard her shouting at her friend that she didnât want to talk about it and to just go. So the car started again and he waved them off with a smile as she stuck her hand out the window and flipped him the bird as they took off into the night.
Yeah, he deserved everything sheâd said. Heâd definitely been a bad boyfriend, particularly towards the end there, but he felt relieved. Relieved that he no longer had to be the only one compromising. Relieved that heâd no longer have to skirt around things and keep shit bottled up inside to keep her comfortable. And relieved that at least now, heâd have the chance to explore having more with you. He truly had no idea if during your time apart youâd managed to move on fully. Or if his silence over the last few weeks had made you hate him or if itâd completely broken your heart to the point that you no longer wanted anything with him. But regardless of all of that, he was certain of one thing, which was that youâd at least hear him out and let him apologize and explain. If it were his ex that he was trying to fix things with, well, heâd assume that her reception would be similar to her goodbye to him. Even if you wanted nothing to do with him in a romantic or sexual sense anymore, he knew youâd still find it in your heart to stay friends with him and he reckoned that even that would be enough for him.
âŠ. A FEW DAYS LATER âŠ.
You had been doing a bit better now that you were back home. Youâd come clean to Goldie about what had transpired between you and Harry. And while she was shocked and disappointed in the both of you, she was still there for you and let you cry out your hurt and disappointment. What you feared would happen, being ostracized and judged harshly, wasnât the case, thankfully. In fact, Goldie had just invited you out with her Sam, and Paul. She assured you that she hadnât heard of Harry joining, but you wanted to err on the side of caution for the time being and respect the very clear distance that had been put in place by him. Even if Harry didnât show up, if his girlfriend saw that you were out with more of his friends it might make her feel like you were purposefully encroaching into his life. You had already done enough to complicate things between them, so you needed to be mindful of things like this.
âThanks, G. Itâs sweet of you but Iâm just not up for it tonight. Especially not with Paul around. If she sees something from the paps or even social media it could upset her and I donât want to risk upsetting her even more.â You explained.
âOh, babeâŠI appreciate you wanting to do the noble thing, but you really need to get out a bit to get all this off your mind, you know?â She countered and you smiled.
âHow about this? I make a reservation at Cecconiâs for tomorrow in the late afternoon. We have an early dinner with a few Negronis and that phenomenal mixed berries cheesecake they serve! And then, when weâre well buzzed, we go to SOHO House? We can get drunk and flirt with people, and network.â You grinned as you giggled.
âWe have to look fit. I mean FIT!â She emphasized and you giggled again.
âYeah, you can even come over and get ready together!â You offered since you lived closest to SOHO.Â
âAlright! We can make a whole day out of it! I can bring bagels from Papoâs! And we can have Proseccoâs and coconut water so that weâre drunk, but hydrated!â She shared excitedly.
âYeah, alright.â You agreed.
âIâll pop in around 9:30 or 10?â
âYeah, thatâs perfect.â You agreed and she squealed happily.
âIâm so excited! Canât wait!â
âNeither can I!â You assured happily.
âAh, alright babes, Iâm gonna let you go. Have a good night, yeah?â
âYou too, G. See yaâ later.â
âSee yaâ!â She chirped before hanging up.Â
You smiled to yourself as you finished packing your left over dinner. You then headed up to your room to just wash up and get into your pajamas so that you wouldnât have to get up and do all this if you accidentally fell asleep while watching TV. You went over to your window and opened it up to let the cool temperature of the night waft in. You then went about and lit a few candles before turning down you bed and switching on your sunset lamp, projecting a warm pink and orange collage on your ceiling. You set down the remote on your bedside table and then bit your lip as you saw your wand vibratorâs light blinking steadily as it charged up.Â
Next on your list was your weed, it was just three prerolls that youâd smuggled in from LA. Stupid and risky, yes. But worth it. You grabbed one of the little tubes and went to set it down by your bean bag sofa chair along with the ashtray and lighter in your hand. You then headed downstairs to grab a glass of water and your dark chocolate KitKat that youâd purchased earlier when youâd decided on how youâd spend your evening. You were switching off all the lights and then stopped before the front door for just a moment, and then your doorbell rang. You flinched in fright at the unlikely coincidence, and chills tingled your spine as the chime sounded through the townhome. It wasnât all that late, but a little too late for deliveries. You quietly padded up to the door and tiptoed a little bit to look through the peep hole and froze.
Your mouth slightly dropped open in shock when you saw Harry standing at your doorstep looking right to left as he tapped his foot nervously. You felt a lump forming in your throat and your heart rate started to rise rapidly. You were tingling all over with excitement, fear, dread, and happiness. Suddenly he looked right at the peephole, it made your insides churn violently as you made eye contact through the little lens.
âY/N?â He asked and you relished at the sound of his voice, but felt your chest ache because he needed to leave.
âYou shouldnât be here, Harry.â You said through the door.
âI need to be here, angel.â He said and you felt your chest tighten up. You pulled back and turned the locks to open the door and as soon as you were in front of him he just chuckled happily and stepped forward, pushing his way inside so that he could wrap you up in his arms. He just threw the door back before he pulled you into his chest. âHi, angel.â He hummed lowly as he leaned his face against the side of your head.
âHi!â You laughed happily as you settled into his warmth. You were pleasantly surprised that he was here. In the flesh! You were touching him, breathing him in. You gently tickled his back with your nails and he hummed.
âMissed you, angel.â He hummed and you smiled.
âMissed you too.â You responded, âAre you alright?â You asked him and started to pull back.
âYeah, Iâm alright.â He smiled, âI ummmâŠI ended things with her.â He said of his girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend now.Â
âIâm so sorry. Are you sure youâre alright?â You asked and he nodded again.
âEven more so now.â He flirted and you sniggered a bit and you just looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, âLook, Iâm so sorry-â
âIâm so sorry, Harry-â You both spoke at the same time and chuckled.
âYou donât need to apologize.â He said, âI know youâd never do anything to hurt me on purpose.â He said and you nodded.
âNever, H.â You assured him and he smiled at your reassurance.
âSoâŠwhat the hell happened?!â He asked through a chuckle and you groaned.
âDonât make me relive itâŠâ You whined, âYouâre lucky that I didnât jump off the rooftop then and there. It was mortifying.â You giggled and he tutted.
âI need to know!â He insisted and you groaned.
âH, I had a whole plan for the evening.â You muttered.
âDid you? You were gonna go out?â He asked and you shook your head.
âNo, they wereâŠhomebody plans.â You said coyly and he smiled.
âYeah? Walk me through the plan then.â He pressed and you bit your lip.Â
âMmmâŠwas gonna smoke a jointâŠâ you hummed and his eyebrows arched up as he smirked, âWhile listening to smutty stuffâŠand probably get off before just getting to bed.â you confessed and he bit his lip.
âAre you just trying to make this sexual?â He asked and you laughed and shook your head.
âNo, I swear! I have a whole set up in my room.â You giggled and he knocked his head back as he laughed.
âWell, dâyou mind if I distract you from your plans for a little bit?â He asked and you shook your head.
âNot at all.â You assured and he smiled, âCome on.â You said and grabbed his hand as you guided him through your townhome and to your bedroom.Â
Harry saw the beautiful pink glow of your bedroom from down the hall. And he could also smell the delicious floral but warm and musky scent wafting from your bedroom. He inhaled deeply as he crossed the threshold and immediately went over to see the candles you had burning. He didnât see a name apart from the brand on the vessel and as he glanced down to see if there was perhaps a lid close by he saw your vibrator plugged in and charging and he chuckled a bit, he had definitely intruded tonight. But maybe if things went well he could improve upon your plans. Normally, he would just go up and grab you if he wanted you and he was certain you wouldnât object. But if he got to have sex with you tonight, he wanted to show you another side of what it could be like because of his feelings for you. You two were always fighting to keep the tender and loving bit out of your sessions, but he could still be kinky and sprinkle in the loving bits if you were open to trying for more with him.
âYou really werenât kidding.â He said and you turned back to see him pointing at your toy and sputtered on a laugh.
âI really wasnât. Itâs alright though, I can do that any other day.â You chuckled as he walked over and then plopped on your bed to slip out of his sneakers. âUmmm, do you want some of this?â You asked him, raising the joint and he nodded. âOkay, so I donât have another seat to offer you, this is my designated smoking chair.â You explained to the bean bag sofa chair.
âYou have a smoking chair?â He questioned you and you sniggered.
âI do! I donât smoke often at all but I donât want to stink up any of my nice furniture when I get the craving for it.â You explained and he hummed in amusement at your logic.
âI seeâŠwell, I can sit on the floor just get me a cushion for my bum.âÂ
âOkay.â You hummed and grabbed one of the round, velvet cushions you had as decor on your bed and set it beside the bean bag. You then settled in as he came over and with his foot, guided the cushion to the front of your seat. You glanced up at him and he smiled down at you.
âOpen up.â He said and you parted your legs so that he could sit and nestle between them. Once he was comfy you leaned over him and handed him the joint and lighter. He sparked it up and took the first drag before handing it back to you, seconds later he was blowing the smoke out the large window and then you did the same. âSoâŠhowâd it happen?â He asked, bringing up your conversation from downstairs.
âWell, my friend Monty was hired as entertainment for the party and he asked me to tag in as the bassist and I agreed. I saw her from the stage at one point and smiled but she did not look pleased. So I decided to just not interact unless we were forced to because I didnât want to stir up any trouble for you.â You explained.
âSo you were forced to speak to her?â
âYes! During the break in the set we both happened to walk up to the same bar line! Just my fucking luck, you knowâŠ?â you muttered as you recalled and he chuckled and turned around to face you instead so that you could converse better. âWe said hello to each other and likeâŠshe seemed fine by then. Maybe it was stupid of me to ask how you were, but I was just making small talk because youâre the only thing we really have in common in terms of acquaintances.â you explained and he nodded, âAnd then she said that sheâs sure I was nice but that she wanted me to stay away from you because she didnât trust me.â You shared, his features turned down as he hummed in understanding, âAnd then she finished that with saying, âI know you slept with himâ, that was it. Just like that.â You explained and his eyes widened. âYeah!â You laughed nervously, as the feelings from that moment resurfaced again.
âJesusâŠâ
âI knowâŠI was frazzled!â You exclaimed before taking another drag and handing the joint back to him. You held it in for a minute as he took his own drag, and then you blew out the smoke towards the window. âJust hearing it like that, in such a confrontational manner, I thought that meant that she knew-knew.â You said and he nodded, âSo I just started apologizing frantically and assuring her that it hadnât happened any more than those times and that you loved her, but I guess you told her something else because she looked really confused when I said that.â
âI just told her that we had been together before she and I were together, just about the one time before.â He said and you hummed.
âIâm sorryâŠI didnât mean to fuck things up for you two. She just started to ask me how many times and when! And I wasâŠso embarrassed and nervous and ashamed of myself.â You pouted and he reached for your calf and rubbed his thumb up and down your leg soothingly.
âIâm sorry, angel.â He replied. âI must admit I thought the worst at first, but then I justâŠI knew youâd never do that to me.â He said and you nodded.
âI wouldnât, H. I know that it was a mistake and you were trying your best to not make the same mistake with me again-â
âHey, look at me.â He said as he set the joint down on the ashtray youâd set out, âThe only mistake I made was not choosing you from the very beginning. Even after the first time I was blown away by you. I was fucked from the start.â He said and your gaze softened, âIâŠIâve felt things with you that I havenât felt before. And while IâŠlove that weâre compatible in the sex part of things, Iâve also given some thought to what things mightâve been like if we were together. And Y/N, I think it would be really good.â He said earnestly and you smiled softly at him. âEven just in the glimpses Iâve had of real life situations Iâve been in with you, I know weâre compatible in those parts too. You actually listen to me to understand me, not just to respond, you know? You think about me and consider me, even before yourself sometimes.â He said. âI know thatâŠI havenât done a lot of that for you previously, but I would like the opportunity to show you that I can do that for you and more.â He said and you smiled.
âTo be fair, you did try, I just never let you before.â You added as you raked your fingers into his hair and he leaned into you, âIâve also felt things with you that Iâve never felt before.â You confessed, âBut itâŠscares me, H.â You confessed and he pouted a little bit, âNot because of you, but because of me. I fear that I would get lost in it.â You said and he smiled.
âWhy is that a bad thing? I could get lost with you.â He mused and you giggled.
âWeâre too old for that kind of thing, H.â
âYeah, but thatâs part of it, isnât it? The honeymoon phase? Relishing in love without a care for what could befall us?â He asked and you smiled, âGet lost in love, in the excitement, in the sexâŠâ he hummed with a grin, âThatâs literally the best part.â
âIt isâŠâ you smiled in agreement.
âYou know, when I think about you, I canât imagine that the initial excitement will ever go away. Weâd have so much fun together.â He said and you smiled.
âWe would. But what about when things getâŠhard. Like when youâre touring or on other projects?â You asked and he thought about for a moment.
âWe could be like Paul and Linda in WINGS.â He suggested with a small smile and you giggled, âNo! Seriously! Hear me outâŠyou could join the band! We could do all of it together, like Mitch and Sarah!â He said and you smiled, âCreate, write, and performâŠI know youâd love life on the road. And then justâŠdo life together.â
âIt does sound amazing.â You admitted with a smile.
âIt does. And I know that Iâm just out of a relationship, but things are a little bit different than just a normal breakup. We had something together and I want to explore it with you. I want to have the chance to make you happy how you deserve, angel. No more bits and pieces of attention and affection. If you give me your heart, I promise Iâll keep it safe.â He appealed.
You caressed his face gently, âMy heartâs been yours for a while now, Harry. And even through all of this, I think youâve done a wonderful job of protecting it.â You assured him. âI donât want to ignore this anymore. I just feel so good when weâre together or even just in each otherâs space.â You said softly. âYou know, sometimes it feels like Iâm connected to you in a certain way. Or maybe itâs my imaginationâŠâ you mumbled, excusing your ramblings.Â
âWe are.â He assured you, âI feel that too. It aches a little when weâre apart. And I justâŠsense it when youâre close by.â
âYeah?â you smiled inquisitively and he nodded.
âBelieve it or not, I was sitting out there for about half an hour, trying to decide if it was too bold of me to show up here unannounced. I had no idea if you were in or not. And then I suddenly felt this sense of urgency and came up to your door and here we are now.â He shared.
âUmmm, actuallyâŠwhen you arrived at the door I was about to go back to my room and just stopped at the front door for a few moments. I donât know why, I just felt like I needed to. And then you rang the doorbell.â You shared with a smile, âCreepy, huh?â You asked.
âMmm, I think itâs rather normal.â
âBeing that in tune with another person is not normal.â You voiced your opinion, âI think itâs quite special.â
âI meant itâs normal for us.â He said and you grinned.
âOh, then youâre 100% right.â You giggled and he smiled and leaned forward to kiss your knee through your pajama pants. You smiled down at him and when his eyes glanced up to meet yours again you sighed dreamily, âJust getting to be there with you is already way better than the plans I had made for myself.â You said through a giggle and he chuckled.
âMmmâŠI think we could redirect things back to the original concept.â He smirked and you giggled but then your face turned serious.
âWe donât have to if youâre not ready for that. Iâm not even horny or anything, was gonna build up to it with the spicy audios.â You confessed, âAlthough, wellâŠseeing you definitely made me horny.â You chuckled bashfully, âSo I am now but this is also good. We donât have to if youâre not, you knowâŠâ You finished explaining.
âOh, I definitely am, angel.â He chuckled, âCanât help it when Iâm around you.â He smiled, âBut IâŠwant to try something a little different this time.â He said and you nodded.
âOkay, what is it?â
âI wanna be more in my feelings while we do it.â He said and you bit your lip to suppress a nervous-excited smile.
âUmmâŠo-okay.â
âOkay. Iâm just letting you know becauseâŠI know that we already get a little wild, but with my heart in it too, things could get a little bit more intense.â He warned you.
âThatâs alright.â You nodded.
âAnd can IâŠask you something?â He looked a bit nervous upon getting his request out.
âOf course.â You nodded.
âW-when IâŠdegraded you and overpowered you or things like that, where I wasâŠrough and harsh on youâŠâ he started and you nodded, wordlessly communicating that he continue, âDid you do that for me? LikeâŠdid you agree to it like t-to please me. Because I like that or is itâŠwell, was it for you too?â He asked.
âOf course I did it to make you happy but because I like it too.â You shared, âI like it quite a bit. Maybe a little too much.â You smiled as you shared.
âDo you think thatâŠthat means weâreâŠfucked up?â He asked, you could see he was feeling vulnerable for being self-conscious about it.Â
In your opinion, the last place a person should be feeling ashamed in was in their sexuality. A personâs sexuality is such a vulnerable part of them, it reflects your deepest darkest fantasies, your id. It was the home of the libido according to Freud. And it could be a little kinky and perverted and maybe even a little scary to confront. But the beauty in that was that how well a person dominated that side of them, was a clear indicator of the amount of ego strength that person has. Which can only mean that a person has a very righteous and strong sense of conscientiousness, the superego. So in short, no, their preferences did not make them âfucked upâ. It made them human. It made them normal. And indulging in that part of themselves in the appropriate setting helped them be able to flourish in all of the other roles they had in the world. Like being musicians, an uncle, a creators, a friend to others, a good personâŠ
âDefinitely not.â You said reassuringly. âNot if you donât feel wrong for it.â You added, âDo you?â You inquired and he shook his head.
âIt feelsâŠ.liberating.â
âHow so?â You asked with a smirkâŠyou were ready to get started, âWhen you decide that you want to fuck me, what goes through your head?â He licked his lips and smiled slightly.
âWell I think, I always get the things I want. And when I want that, when I want you, I justâŠtake you. Because I can.â He smirked.
âSo youâre selfish.â You grinned and he shrugged.
âI tend to beâŠone of my many flaws.â He smiled and you hummed.
âYou know how I amâŠhyper independent. A control freak a bitâŠâ you said and he nodded, âMy instincts tell me not to be, to just take what comes my wayâŠdeep inside I know Iâm actually powerless. And while itâs terrifying, there is something freeing about that. Because while it makes me vulnerable to really shitty things, I also makes me vulnerable to really wonderful things. Like getting bent over your hotel room bed with your cock in my pussy and your fingers in my assâŠâ You laughed and he did as well. âSo, you give me what I need and I give you what you need, even the secret parts of us connect well. So yeah, itâs fucking freeing to be seen and understood on every level. Weâre so fucking lucky to exist at the same time.â You said softly with a smile.Â
Harry didnât even hesitate to kneel up and smash his lips into yours. His kiss was ardent, heavy with affection and lust. Your tongues smeared together before he sucked your bottom lip between his lips. He gently bit into it, increasing his bite force bit by bit until you dug your nails into his shoulder. Your kiss simmered down from one second to the next and became so sweet. Just small and playful little pecks interrupted by giddy smiles and soft giggles and mumbles about starting to feel the weed.Â
âThe back of my knee is tickling!â You giggled and he sniggered, âUghhh, scratch it please. Make it stop.â You requested and he pulled the leg of your pants up to be able to scratch the back of your knee, âThank you.â You giggled and pecked his lips quickly. âWanna get in bed?â
âYeah, angel.â He mumbled and then he picked up the joint, âLetâs finish this off so that it feels extra nice.â He instructed as he sparked it up for you. âWant you to be a little easier for me.â He said and you smirked as he took his drag.
âDonât need to be high to be easy for you.â You chuckled and he did as well and kissed you gently before shotgunning the smoke heâd exhaled into your mouth.
âMaybe not but itâs more this way.â He said before kissing you again and handing over the joint.
Once youâd finished it off you both stood and Harry started to undress you. He was getting your panties off when you handed the butt to him and he smashed it into the ashtray to properly extinguish it. He stood and then pulled you over to your bed, you happily plopped on it as he got undressed. He instructed you to grab your vibrator, so you crawled to the other side of the bed and unplugged it from the charger. Your pussy pulsed and fluttered in anticipation. You wanted to feel the silicone buzzing into your clit so badly, you were growing impatient and even more wet than before. You wriggled and rubbed your thighs together to get some friction going. Your labia glided together with ease from how aroused you were as you watched Harry undoing the buttons and fly on his jeans. Youâd give anything to kiss down his abs and smooch down his happy trail until you got a mouthful of his cock. You moaned as you watched him pull down his briefs along with his jeans, his thick, long cock sprung up, wobbling about a bit from the sudden release. You licked over your lips. He watched you salivate over his cock, so he knelt onto the bed and put it in your face.
âGet me in your mouth then.â He mumbled and you immediately parted your lips and started to suck on the tip for a bit before starting to stroke the rest. His soft moans of pleasure were making your skin tingle, youâd missed the sound of him. And the weight of him on your tongue. And the taste of his skin, and itâs natural scent. âFuck yeah, angel. Take more..I know you can take more.â He said as he pushed your head lower, letting himself dip his toe in the kinky forceful stuff you enjoyed for just a moment, âShit!â He chuckled as his abs tensed, âYes, babyâŠThatâs fucking good, justâŠjust wind it down for me. Thatâs it. Nice and slow, angel. DeeperâŠa little more.â He hummed and then groaned as he settled just a bit past the back of your mouth, you were holding back a gag, âFuck, canât believe how it all fits in there.â You couldnât hold it back anymore and gagged around him which make him moan in pleasure, âYeah, gag on it, angel.â He grunted and held himself in before gently pulling back to let you catch your breath. He did this a few more times until your chin was sticky with your drool and his pre-cum. âIs your little pussy throbbing yet?â He asked and you nodded as you wiped your mouth on the back of your hand. âGo wash up.â He said and you nodded and hurried to the ensuite to rinse off your face.Â
He knew how much you hated to feel sticky in the face. You soon came back into the room to find him playing with the vibrator. He was clicking through the vibration patterns before he settled on half-note pulses and then pressed it to his frenulum. You stood and watched from the darkness of the bathroom, watching his brows crease and jaw clench as he pleasured his cock with the vibrating wand. He was a fucking masterpiece, and with you being a little high it was making you even more needy for him. You slowly approached and he glanced up to you.
âI think I need to get one of these.â He chuckled before biting his lip.
âYeah, it makes me come like a fountain.â You shared through a chuckle and he groaned.
âYeah?â You nodded, âShow me.â He said as he extended it towards you and you bit your lip nervously and climbed onto the bed. You settled into the pillows and he passed over the baby pink vibrator. He settled in beside you and kissed the top of your cheek. âGo on, then. Play with yourself.â He instructed and you didnât need to be told twice.Â
You spread your legs and slowly pressed the vibrator against your clit and immediately gasped. You were already sopping wet, so when you added more pressure it slipped a bit and Harry groaned as he watched you adjust a bit to get it back on your clit. He grabbed your thigh and pulled it open so that he could see you better. His mouth was watering as he watched you getting off, his fingers were itching to touch you in between your legs. He wanted to get down there and breathe you in and taste you until he had his fill of you. He only lasted a few more moments before he kissed you deeply and then shifted around until he was down between your legs and watching up close as your little cunt throbbed and oozed slick. He snatched the vibrator from your hand and shut it off as he delved in. He shook his head back and forth, wiggling to get his tongue in even deeper into your little hole. He wanted to taste everything you were giving right from the source.
âOh fuck, Harry! Fuck yes, just like that!â You encouraged him as you ground up against his mouth. You were obsessed with the scratchy feeling of his facial hair pricking against your smooth pussy. And you loved how he held you open and licked from your entrance to your clit, flicking the sensitive little bud over and over with the tip of his tongue until you were gasping as your teetered on the edge of your orgasm. âI-Iâm gonna come! Please, let me come!â You announced in a higher pitched voice, he hummed against you to signal his permission. Your muscles were completely tense as you held onto the feeling as long as possible until your first orgasm burst from inside of you.
Coming with his help was different. It was your quality of work without having to do any of the actual work. He read your body in ways that made it impossible for you not to give in. It felt so good to be free falling into that gratifying, warm, and tingly feelings. You loved how it tickled just right that it made your toes curl. And hearing him and feeling him moan into your leaking pussy made your eyes roll back before squeezing shut. You loved how he feasted on you. He was kissing your pussy as passionately as heâd kissed your mouth. You were just basking in how happy he was to be here with you. Your hips arched up as you tried to escape his mouth but he locked your thighs in his arms and held you down. It was getting to be too much! You hadnât even had a chance to fully come down from your orgasm and you were already well on your way to another one. You were writhing and yelped as he nipped at your clit. He chuckled, knowing you didnât mind a bit of pain. Just as you were about to get to a place where the tingles fully faded he parted his lips and sucked your clit between his lips. His tongue managed to just barely run over it, it was making your had spin. Your thighs were starting to tremble as he was forcing you past the point of no return.
âHarry!â You yelped as he sucked with more force, âOh! Itâs too much! Please! Please, no more!â You pleaded as he forced you down and open and kept sucking. âFuck! Please, please!â You cried desperately as you writhed beneath him. Suddenly, the most obscene moan broke from your throat involuntarily as your hips and legs spasmed as you started to squirt. Your eyes squeezed shut as you arched up as the pleasure swept through your body. You were just about to come down from it when you heard the vibrator come on and then he was being held just over your clit, barely ticking the surface of your throbbing little bundle. You were panting now just whining pitifully as your little clit was vibrated so quickly. Next thing you knew, two of Harryâs fingers were sinking into your pussy and stretching you out. You swore your eyes crossed as he curved his fingers up and prodded at your g-spot a few times before you were moaning obscenely again as your cum gushed out of your entrance.
âFuck yeah, angel. Squirt again for me. You can do it, baby. You can give me another one. One more for, daddy.â He grunted as he poured his fingers into you at a more determined pace until you were squirting a bit more for him. He eased into a stop before pulling his fingers out and sucking them clean and then leaning down to kiss you. âMmmâŠyouâre so perfect, baby. Look at you.â He mumbled in amusement, âI even missed how you taste.â He mumbled against your lips and you smiled and pecked his lips. âHow are you feeling?â
âGood.â You replied with a soft smile.
âPromise? Went a little hard on you there.â He said and you nodded.
âPromise. I didnât use our word.â You reminded him and he nodded.
âThatâs right, angel.â He hummed.
âI actually have something in mindâŠâ you started and he nodded, urging you to continue. âWhat if tonight we see if I can go under?â You asked and you saw the sparkle in his eyes but then he glanced away.
âUmmmâŠthatâs kind ofâŠopposite of what I wanted this time to be.â He admitted with a soft chuckle, âBut if thatâs what you want, then I-â
âWait. No, tell me more about what youâŠwere expecting orâŠhoping for?â You requested and he smiled slightly as he pressed down and kissed you again.
âThank you for wanting to listen to it.â He said and you smiled and nodded, âWellâŠI know that before I hadâŠkind of tested the boundary of what was too intimate er whatever. And wellâŠI want toâŠfuck you withâŠintention and care andâŠI supposeâŠlove?â He got out and sighed shakily, âI ummmâŠI am in love with you. I justâŠrealized it. Iâm sorry!â He laughed nervously as he looked into your eyes and you were just beaming. You pressed yourself up and grabbed his face and guided it towards your own until you were kissing slowly with smiles on your faces.
âH.â You mumbled.
âYeah, baby?â
âLetâs do it your way. Lets add a little affection in there.â You whispered and he smiled.
âOkay.â He whispered back happily, âDo you have condoms?â He asked.
âLetâs not use one.â You said and he kissed you quickly.
âAre you one the pill again?â He whispered his question and you shook your head.
âNo.â You reaffirmed verbally and he kissed you again.
âSo youâre playing with fire, are you?â He asked and you nodded with a smile. âI really like that.â He hummed smugly. âGosh, Iâll have to fuck you everyday until we find out youâre knocked up.â He said and you literally blushed as he grinned down at you smugly. âWould you like that, baby?â He asked you nodded quickly as he leaned down and kissed you as he reached down for his cock and positioned it at your entrance.
âFuck, push it in.â You panted and he dropped his weight into his hips and surged forward until your little hole gave way and parted for his long, thick cock to sink in until his full, heavy balls thudded against your bottom. He ground his hips into you, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix and g-spot with every swirl of his hips until he pulled out and then sunk back in again. By the third one you were starting to tremble.
âThatâs good for you, angel?â
âYesâŠyou feel so fucking good, baby!â You panted as you were brought to the edge and then let back down as he drew out from you. You were tingling in anticipation of feeling him thrust back in. âI love you so muchâŠâ you exhaled and he was suddenly feeling all warm and gooey inside.
âFuck, angel, I love you tooâŠIâm not gonna last too long.â He confessed as he froze deep inside of you. âGet your vibrator for me. Right on your clit. Wanna feel you coming on me one more time.â He said and you were quick to comply. You had it on a lower setting but given your sensitivity level you were starting to reach the edge quite quickly. Specially with Harry pounding away inside of you. You were moaning in time with the even paced grunts rumbling from his chest and the smacking sounds of your centers colliding over and over and over again. Your vision started to go hazy as you blinked up at him before your eyes squeezed shut as you started to come. You could feel your walls throbbing hard around his cock and you wanted nothing more than to feel his warm load filling your pussy.
âCome inside me, daddy!â You begged and he groaned and gave a few more determined thrusts before he was stilling deep inside of you, his hand pressing down on your tummy, you could feel the weight of him over his own cock inside of you. Something about that had you losing your mind and extended your orgasm as you felt him spilling into you.
âFuck, babyâŠthatâs all yours, angel. Mâall yours. Take all my fucking cum.â He grunted deeply, you felt the deepness of his voice rumbling through your body as he ground into you with intent as he came deep inside of you.Â
It stole your breath as you started to come again as both of your most vulnerable areas were being stimulated so gloriously. You didnât mean for it to happen, but your vision started to tunnel and all the sounds around you were muffled as your head just rolled back and you closed your eyes and smiled as this gorgeous cocktail of THC, several orgasms, and sub space collided together in the most chaotic and serendipitous way. Your orgasm seemed to be affecting each of your main body parts one by one, you felt it in each leg, in your tummy, chest, and arms, and then your head. You were floating, you were living in ecstasy, riding the wave for as long as possible. You blinked your eyes open slowly as Harry rested over you and kissed you with tenderness when he saw you floating off in some warm and fuzzy place.
âYouâre safe, angel. Safe with me. Love you so much.â He whispered as he kissed all over your face. You locked your legs around his hips, trapping his body against yours snugly, âFuck yeah, baby. Keep me insideâŠâ he moaned as your walls continued to pulse around him steadily.
 He held you nice and tight, keeping your warm under his body heat. It was then that you realized that youâd left the window openedâŠyou hoped your neighbors hadnât heard anything, but there was a very slim chance of that being the case. And just like that, the tingle feeling and tunnel vision started to fade and you were slowly descending back into reality. When you felt the strength return to your body, you hugged him back and he sighed happily as he planted another kiss to your cheek.
âAre you alright?â He asked lowly as he glanced down at you and you smiled and nodded. âUse your words for me, angel. Yâknow that.â He reminded.
âSorry, Iâm still a little loopy.â You whispered, âBut yeah, Iâm alright. Just cold.â You said and he tutted.
âForgot to close the window. Can I get up?â He asked and you shook your head.
âNot yet. Stay close.â You whined and he smiled as he pushed himself up a bit and ran his thumb over your kiss-bitten bottom lip affectionately. It was something small, but in the past you wouldâve just let him go and it wouldâve all been done.Â
âDid you ever think aboutâŠbeing like this with me before?â He asked and you nodded.
âOf course. It just wouldnât have been fair for either of us to give in. It feels so good to justâŠhold you.â You breathed out in relief and he smiled and kissed your lips quickly.Â
âYeah angel, it does.â He agreed as he smiled down at you. Â
After a few more minutes of being cuddled up together, you felt more yourself again so you assured him that you could get up now so that you guys could get cleaned off and dressed again. He was helping you get your comforter and sheets off so you could switch them out. You watched him check your mattress really quick to ensure you hadnât soiled it when you came so hard so many times. It was sweet and so endearing of him, it made you feel all soft for him and you werenât ready for this to be over.
âD-do you want to stay?â You asked him timidly and his face lit up as he smiled and nodded.
âWait.â He smirked, âNot gonna make me stay on my side of the bed, are you?â He questioned playfully and you laughed as you shook your head.
âI donât think we need to have sides since Iâm not sharing you with anyone else anymore.â You replied with a small grin.
âThatâsâŠvery fair.â He chuckled bashfully and you giggled.
âIâm just teasing.â You assured.
âI know, angel.â He smiled.Â
âDo you wanna have a shower?â You asked and he nodded. You quickly changed your sheets and comforter before heading towards the shower. âWe can share, just make sure you donât get my hair wet.â You warned as you pulled him along.
You were soon nice and clean, the both of you shivering as you pleaded with him to go close the window once and for all. It wasnât hard to persuade him, all it was was a flash of your boobs to have him dashing across your bedroom to shut the window and keep out the cold. You quickly got dried and dressed before you cuddled up into the bed. You were both shivering as you adjusted to the temperature. You kissed his chin, cheeks, and lips a few times. His arm was draped over your waist, fingers barely grazing over your lower back. There was something on your mind that you really just wanted to clarify with him. âH, soâŠearlier when you said you wanted the opportunity toâŠbe more for me?â You trailed off and he nodded, âDid you mean that?â You asked and he nodded.
âI do. I want that with you.â He confirmed. âDo you want that with me too?â He asked and you nodded.
âYeah, I really do. I just ummâŠI have a doubt.â You explained and he frowned a bit.
âLook, I-I hope you know thatâŠwhat we had, thatâs not something Iâve done before.â He said and then he frowned a little bit, âActually, I have cheated beforeâŠbut it was just a drunken kiss with a random person on a night out and I came clean right away.â He rambled, âI felt awful about it. Still do! But I wouldnât ever cheat on you. Itâs not like a compulsion or anything like that, where I canât control myself.â He continued rambling nervously. When you grabbed his face he blinked a few times and went silent.
âHey, I trust you.â You said softly and his nervous gaze softened, âI made a choice too with you. What we had was not just your fault; sure you initiated but I didnât turn you away. And while it was wrong, I mean, I canât say it was a mistake because, honestly to me, being with you has never felt like a mistake.â You elaborated your point of view and he smiled upon hearing you say this to him.
âDo youâŠregret it?â
âNot really. I still find value in what we had beforeâŠI learned a lot about myself and what Iâm capable of. I mean, I have also had a drunken kiss with a friend while dating someone else but I never really thought of that incident as cheating, I got carried away, you know? It wasnât anything premeditated or that I thought of or even considered doing sober, so it was just opportunistic. I came clean the very next morning when I saw my partner and he didnât think of it as cheating either. He actuallyâŠlaughed in my face at that.â You recalled with a smile and he chuckled. âI guess my point is that, weâre all capable of less than savory things, but what matters is how we come out of it. And I think that what we didâŠit helped us to learn to trust each other in a way that we might not trust most people in our lives.â
âYeah, thatâs true.â
âDo youâŠfeel regret for what we did?â You asked him.
âI think I did at some point, especially after your auntâs birthday. I just saw how insecure I had made my ex feel, you know? But hearing you say that you donât has changed my answer. I only regretted the fact that the situation was hurting everyone involved. Not the sex or the things we shared and the friendship and trust we strengthened through those times. Iâm quite glad we had that with each other. But the fact that I wasnât really treating either of you fairly or myself is my biggest regret.â He explained and you nodded in understanding. âUmmm, so if your doubts are not fidelity related what are they about?â He asked.
âJust about the timing of everything. Like, you just ended a relationship and I donât want you to feel like you need to jump into anything with me right away t-to prove how you feel about me. Like if you need time to be single or somethingâŠlike, I want you to know that thatâs cool with me too.â You explained. Obviously, you wanted to jump in, youâd been waiting for him for so long, but if he wasnât ready yet, then youâd wait, like you promised him a while ago.
âWell first off, I do want to be in a relationship. So I am ready for it. More than.â He assured you, âI just wasnât with the right person before, thatâs all. And wellâŠI think weâve both waited long enough for this opportunity to be together and if we both want it, why wait?â He reasoned and you bit your lip to try and suppress your smile. âWhat?â He chuckled.
âNothingâŠI just ummâŠâ you bit your lip and then readjusted yourself so that he was spooning you and then you interlocked your fingers with his. You relaxed almost immediately and let yourself melt into his warmth. âIâve wanted you to hold me like this for a really long time.â You hummed happily.Â
âSo have I, angel.â He sighed before kissing the side of your head, âThank you for waiting for me. You really didnât have to.â He whispered and you smiled.
âOf course I did! I love you.â You whispered back, âThatâs why I waited.â You explained with a smile.
âOh, I love you so much.â He responded as he squeezed you a little tighter before kissing your head once again. You smiled in his embrace, relaxing more and more as the realization sunk in that this was your life now and you couldnât have asked for a better outcome than this.
âHeyâŠâ you whispered.
âWhat is it, baby?â
âYouâre gonna keep this mullet thing you have going on for a bit, right?â You asked and he sniggered.
âIf you like it that much then yes. Iâd keep it for you.â He confirmed through a chuckle.
âOkay, good.â You hummed, âItâs fucking sexy.â You added softly and he grinned.
âYou think so?â He chuckled.
âI certainly do.â You assured.
âEnough that if we got married I could have this hair, then?â He asked.
âOh, for sureâŠso much so that theyâd probably have to have the reception without us.â You said smugly.
âBabyâŠâ Harry groaned, squeezing your hip just a bit and you smiled.
âYou still have free reign you knowâŠâ you hummed and he hummed as he nuzzled up against your ear.
âYouâre in for a long night, angelâŠâ he hummed darkly.
âDo your best, daddy.â You grinned.
Magnetic extra^ (wc 2.4k)
---- Tag List ----
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#Harry Styles#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fan fics#harry styles fan fiction series#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#harry styles stories#harry styles x reader#harry x reader#harry styles x you#harry x you#harry styles x y/n#harry x y/n#harry styles reader insert#harry styles reader insert fic#harry styles cheating fic#daddy!harry styles#daddy!harry#harry styles italy#harry styles fic#harry styles cheating#cheater!harry styles#cheater! harry#harry styles writing#harry styles fluff#0nlythrowharrybeaux#harry styles fic rec
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#old man trump#old man#kentucky#ohio#jd vance#cheater trump#alaska#north carolina#south carolina#evangelicals#idaho#utah#facebook#jack smith#connecticut#trump is a criminal#trump is a felon#pennsylvania#deranged trump#jd vance is weird#maga cult#maga morons#tweets#x#elon musk#evil republicans#kamala#harris#vote for kamala harris#vote blue
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I have thought about this scene so often since I first saw it. It just gives me many many feelings.
first and foremost, in no way am I justifying cheating bc they both knew they were doing wrong and deserve a good solid sucker punch to the jaw.
BUT itâs the look, right? Itâs the âlook of loveâ. Before I actually watched the show and saw this clip/gif going around it reminded me of the iconic movie scene between Jo and Laurie.
And of course throughout this film it is portrayed that Laurie is in love with Jo and when she rejects him, saying she doesnât feel the same and he doesnât know what heâs saying, everyone is heartbroken for Laurie. But he isnât in love with Jo, and romantically he doesnât even truly love her. He does however love HER.
He has spent all of his life different from his family and he has zero clue on how to navigate life with his future, much like Harry when heâs faced with so much trauma in such a condensed amount of time.
And suddenly hereâs Jo, this girl who he clicks with instantly, who understands him and who he is and how he feels and he is infatuated of course. Thereâs this disconnect between what is truly love for how a person is and how well you mesh/how they make you feel and vs actually being IN love with this person and every little thing they do.
This is what I think about when I see Sandra and Harry scenes. She knows he doesnât love her, she leaves very peacefully and as honorably as she can (which ehhhhhh can be debated) with knowing his wife will forever be the woman he wants. However, when he picks up that note, the disappointment is evident on his face. It makes me wonder, was he disappointed just because there was no more distraction? Or did he fool himself into thinking he was starting to love her? Whose to say!
But I do think itâs interesting that in these first and last moments youâre almost convinced he loves her and itâs awful and I hate it. Itâs so unfair and so honest. The morally grey stripe that runs through all human beings.
#this was a lot of rambling and idk if it makes any sense but I felt I had to spew it#mota#mota spoilers#little women#harry crosby#alessandra westgate#hbo war#masters of the air#hate cheaters til the day I die tho
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Weird ass freak making inappropriate jokes while wearing glasses of her kids faces. No brand should want to work with this person.
Havenât been posting for a bit but damn this video popped up on my feed and I wanted to puke watching it
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As of now, any and all video of this cheating fuckboi looking straight at the fucking camera with those children after she removed "Proud Mom" and left "2x world champ" from her bio for days is probably to look good for the possible child custody hearing.
P.S: She at least remembered their names.
#ashlyn harris#sloane phillips#ali krieger#ocean maeve#team kids#the judge must give Ali full legal and physical custody#let the cheater cheat in peace away from the kids
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he canât keep getting away with this
#son heungmin#tottenham#football#heâs just been consistently outperforming his xG since the beginning of his career#also why imo the interpretation and the reliance of xG when it comes to looking at individual players is flawed#itâs a useful metric for measuring a system; we should always be looking to increase the number of shots we get off#and most importantly create dangerous situations bc high xG = more goals usually#but the players themselves are individual. sonny specifically can score with 0.02xG and has been doing it for years#which is why having him in your team is irreplaceable; heâs clinical in a way no other current forward in the world is#so xG applied to him doesnât rly matter imo. that being said he masks a lot of potential issues with a systemâs attacking threat#bc of how good he is. that was kind of the issue w mourinho and first szn conte; sonny and harry have always been xG cheaters to a certain#extent and them being hot in form disguised a lot of issues#anyway sorry abt the ramble#rahul.txt
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hobama divorce era he belongs to Misha now đ
iâm really sorry itâs not your intention and itâs a very funny anon but i opened tumblr after finishing planning out the juneteenth-specific activities iâm building into the curriculum for camp tomorrow and then i opened tumblr and read the word belongs and my brain spent way too long screaming YOU CANT SAY THAT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK before processing
#iâve also had a headache for three hours and have been dissociating for an interesting and totally healthy period of time#you caught me off guard at a bad moment have a lovely day. and yes itâs devestating for harry#i think misha came out as straight so that his pursuit of barack wouldnât further bi cheater allegations
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A Twist of Fate
Y/N and Harry are exes who have moved on wit their lives and with other people, but have never stopped loving each other. And in an unbelievable twist of fate reconnect. But after all that time, can they still have a future together?
A Twist of Fate Masterlist
WARNINGS: A wee bit of emotional cheating and a steamy unfaithful make out WITH A VERY CUTE moment with the shaved head đ„čđ«¶
WC: 15K
To Harry, you had always been the one that got away. Your time together had been so good. You both grew and learned, and loved so much but life just got in the way. The split broke you both because you were certain that no matter what, at the end of the day it would always be you together. Learning that it wouldnât be was devastating.Â
For a while you even stopped believing in love and in the good of the universe. Because if love was real, how cruel did the universe actually have to be to tear you apart? It had been a love like neither of you had ever experienced. Your souls were alight for each other and every interaction you exchanged, every hug, every kiss, every glance, every touch fed the fire of your love and passion for each other for five wonderful years. And when the time came for it to end it was heart wrenching. There was just far too much conflict in time and distance, it sometimes felt like your managers were doing it on purpose, you both knew it wasnât true, of course. You were just starting to reach new levels of fame and were in high demand and you couldnât keep doing what you were doing to yourselves in trying to make it work.
So when Harry signed on to yet another film and you had gone into the studio for your album you had to reevaluate your relationship. It had to be done over the phone while there was an entire ocean between you because even though it was the wrong way to go about it, you just couldnât look into each otherâs eyes while admitting defeat. There was absolutely no way. It was hard to even breathe at first, but with time it got a bit better and better, and soon youâd met other people and were on your way to being happy like before. But that brought you to this day. After years of being broken up and never speaking or seeing each other you were both frozen in the hallway of a studio in Los Angeles looking right at each other. Time was at a standstill as you just stared for a moment. Both completely shocked at your run in. Harryâs tongue suddenly felt heavy and knotted up and his hands felt like they were prickling. He just wanted to reach out and touch you.
âY/N, Iâve missed you.â He finally said. But you barely heard it over the obnoxiously loud pounding of your heart.
âI missed you too.â You whispered breathlessly as you looked him over. A smile came to your lips as you admired him from up close. You chuckled and shook your head because his hair was gone! And he looked great. So well rested, stronger, taller, and more youthful somehow.
âCan I hug you?â He asked and at his question you hurried into his arms, not bothering with a response.Â
As soon as you touched everything felt better. The fires in your hearts were burning again because the love had never run out. If anything it got stronger with the distance somehow. But things were not as they used to be. He had a girlfriend of nearly a year now and you had just started dating someone just a couple months prior. You had been resigned to the fact that for your circumstance, love just wasnât enough so you both moved on. The embrace was long, you were taking your time in his arms and he was taking in your scent. How he missed the sweet and inviting smell that wafted around you like a cloud. It seemed like it had been too soon when you started pulling back from his hold, but he willed himself to loosen his grip to give you the space to depart from him.
âYour hair!â You smiled brightly and he chuckled.
âI knowâŠAfter the tour ended it just felt like the end of an era, you know? Time for a big change.â He smiled through his explanation and you nodded in understanding.
âYeah, I get that. I love it! It looks great!â You complimented as you looked him over once more.
âYeah?â He asked timidly and you nodded quickly. He knew he didnât need your approval, but having it made him feel even better about his decision.
âHow long are you in town?â You asked, your hands slid down his arms from around his neck and landed in his. Feeling your soft and warm skin meeting his own had his mind going fuzzy. He could feel his heart reaching out to you with how hard it pounded.
âI uh- I leave tomorrow. I just had a quick thing I needed to take care of. Was only here a few days.â He said and you felt a lump forming in your throat. Gone so soonâŠa tease of fate.
âOh.â You responded and he nodded, a sad smile came over his face.
âYeah.â He squeezed your hands a bit harder, âUmmm, Iâm at the Roosevelt. In the Marylin Monroe suite. Maybe we can grab dinner tonight, around 8?â He asked hopefully and you frowned. The universe was heartless and cruel, it was confirmed.
âI actually canât tonight, Harry. I have plans with myâŠâ you trailed off before shifting your gaze down to the buttons of his shirt. They were all done up now, unlike before, when he barely bothered after the third one up.
âSomeone youâre seeing?â He asked and you nodded, not able to look at him as you confirmed.
âSorry.â You said, finally looking back into his eyes.
âIâm not- I mean, itâs alright. That youâre, you know, putting yourself out there.â He put on a smile that didnât reach his eyes.
âYeah?â You asked and he nodded. You were holding onto each other for dear life, âIâm happy I ran into you, though. I missed you. Been thinking about you lately as well.â You said again through a small smile.
âIâm really happy I got to see you too.â He confirmed through his own smile; it was definitely genuine this time.
âWell, I should get going and let you get to the studio.â You said and he nodded.
âRight. Câmere.â He said pulling you back in for a hug. This time you inhaled his own warm, musky, and familiar scent as his warmth settled into your own body. âTake good care of yourself.â He mumbled to you before kissing the side of your head.
âYou too, H.â You hummed before you let go and you continued down the hall. You stopped and turned back to see that he was still standing there, watching you leave and you smiled, planting a kiss to your palm and pretending like you threw it at him and he smiled brightly as he pretended he caught it and pressed his palm to his heart and you waved before you left the building.
************
âYou seem distracted.â Caitlyn, your best friend, pointed out as she glanced over from her desk to you, sitting across from her, just staring out the window behind her.
âI know, Iâm sorryâŠI donât think Iâll be much help for brainstorming right now.â You said and Caitlyn frowned.
âWhat happened?â
âI was doing Seb the favor of dropping off a demo of a new song to his producer and on my way out I ummmâŠH-harry was there.â You said and Caitlynâs eyes went wide.
âWhat the hell? I thought he was in London!â She gasped.
âHe will be tomorrow. Sâhis last night.â You explained.
âAre you alright?â She asked you right away.
âI think soâŠhe invited me to dinner at his hotel, but I have plans with Seb tonight so I canât.â
âWell maybe itâs for the best, friend. I meanâŠI know how it was with you guys and like, I know youâre both good people, but maybe it wouldnât be the wisest thing to have dinner with him at his hotel. Alone.â Caitlyn reasoned and you nodded.
âYeah, I think youâre rightâŠI mean, besides, he has a girlfriend too so best not to do something platonic that could seem sketchy."
âExactly.â Caitlyn concurred. âWell, are you feeling OK? Did it bring anything up for you?â
âJust a little sadness⊠nostalgia? I mean, we put in so much work, you know? I swear we were endgame.â You said quietly with some disappointment.
âYeahâŠdid he seem happy?â
âI guess? I didnât ask really. I donât want to knowâŠâ you sighed, âBuzzed his head though.â You smiled and Caitlyn gasped audibly.
âNo way!â She laughed in disbelief.
âYeah! Itâs a different look, but he looks really good. It suits him more than I would expect.â You chuckled and then fell silent for a few seconds.
âY/N, do you stillâŠhave feelings for him?â Caitlyn asked carefully and you sighed.
âThink Iâll always have feelings for himâŠâ you said lowly. âLike, itâs Harry!â You said and Caitlyn pouted and nodded in understanding. âIt was definitely nice to see him though, even if it was fast.â
âWell maybe itâs good that it was a brief run in. Didnât have to linger and talk about things that would make you both even more sad.â Caitlyn suggested.
âMaybe I need to be more sadâŠlike Iâve been in a bit of a slump writing-wiseâŠâ you said.
âUse this sad, Y/N. The nostalgia, the not knowing, the wondering, you really donât need more than that.â Caitlyn said and you sighed, âAnd donât google him. Or his girlfriend.â She warned and you cackled.
âOf course not! Iâm not you.â you quipped with a teasing grin.
âLook, cyberstalking is a necessary evil sometimes.â
âI canât agree with that statement.â You chuckled.
âJust because you suck at itâŠâ Caitlin sassed.
âI donât think internet stalking is a skill to be proud of, Cait.â You giggled.
âLook, all I know is that one day, my skills will come in handy.â She said simply and you knocked your head back as you laughed at your best friendâs nonsense.
*************
Harry had not been able to stop thinking about you since the afternoon. He had made a quick detour to LA to meet with some of his producers. He was planning to take a bit of a longer break to focus on other projects and passions and just live for himself a little bit. He was just outlining a plan for his next album since he had already renewed his contract.
In truth, he was glad that he had been able to tour when he did because you had just ended things. He just went right into entertain mode and got so much out of his system. But being back on the road, meeting new people, putting himself back out there, it helped a lot. And then the one thing he thought wasnât possible happened. He met someone else and he moved on. He felt that he had moved into it quite fast as theyâd only been friends for a month or so, but theyâd been together almost a year now and it was going well. Was he happy? He was. Wasnât he?
Obviously, he knew heâd eventually see you but he wasnât ready for it now. It wasnât the best time because while heâd moved on, you still had an effect on him. He still dreamt of you sometimes. He still felt butterflies in his stomach when he thought of you, even now when he remembered how you had hugged him. He loved the way your fingers felt as you skimmed them down his arms before you could hold his hands just for a moment. You looked so good tooâŠyouâd always opted for shorter hair, to the shoulders or a bit less, but it was longer now, it suited you. Your eyes were bright and your smile just as warm and inviting as it had always been. He would be lying if he said that his heart didnât skip a beat when he saw you. But being in your presence like that, it suddenly felt like no time had passed at all.Â
He felt kind of stupid for asking you to dinnerâŠin hindsight it was good that you were busy. To be alone with you while his heart and tummy were doing all these weird and fluttery things that they did every time he was around you, that couldnât be a great idea.
The hardest thing to get over was that he loved how he felt around you, it was magical. Your energies matched so well. What you had together had was unmatched, there wasnât anyone who had brought that same feeling to him before or now. You cared for him in ways that made him feel seen and understood as a person, the whole of him, good and badâŠhe had no idea how you did it, but it just came so naturally from you. Your ability to relate and communicate and accept other people as they were was innate and he missed that about you. He missed how easy it was to receive the kind of love and care that you gave and that he needed. Not that he wasnât feeling cared for now, he definitely was, but it wasnât the same as with you of courseâŠno one was you. He snapped out of his thoughts when his phone started ringing loudly, cutting off the music he was running to.
âHey man, whatâs up?â He greeted Jeffrey who was on the other line.
âHey H, howâd the meeting go?â
âGood. We set a schedule for the next couple of things so thatâs squared away.â
âExcellent.â Jeffrey hummed, âLook man, I know youâre supposed to be taking off tomorrow but someone reached out to me from A24 about a possible Bowie bio pic. Theyâre really interested in talking to you about it.â
âI donât know, JeffâŠâ
âI told them you might not be interested, but they were really insistent that youâd be great for the role and just wanted to pick your brain a bit. You definitely donât have to commit to anything yet, they just want to talk to you about it.â He said and he hummed pensively.
âWhenâs the meeting?â
âThey said Thursday of next week. They have this like vision board and a script they want to have you look over and whatnot.â
âCan it be sooner?â
âNope. The director is on some remote site for another project now and will be back in town on Thursday.â Harry sighed upon hearing this.
âFuckâŠfine. Iâll wait it out then. Can you get me another room then? I still have to check out of here tomorrow.â
âYeah man, Iâll take care of it now and send the details over, alright?â
âSounds good. Talk soon.â
âYep, love you man. Bye.â
âLove yaâ. Bye.â Harry said and then hung up.
Honestly, Harry had no interest in doing this film, he was certain they could get someone else, someone far better in his opinion. And heâd definitely watch it, but right now he had every interest in staying longer and getting to see you again. As reckless as it might be to see you with all of these feelings brewing in him, it was a need. It brought him back to old times, where even when youâd be busy, youâd do reckless things like stay extra days in a country just to be able to cross paths while you both worked. Or fly from one end of the US to the other just to have dinnerâŠit was kind of an awful habit to just do things like that on a whim, but he felt that he could handle this. After all, old habits die hard and indulging in something that reminded him of how in love he was, despite the struggles, it was worth remembering.
***********
All throughout dinner so far you had been thinking of Harry. How maybe you shouldâve made an alternate plan to see him after dinner. Like maybe grab coffee, or a glass of wine, perhaps visit your favorite ice cream shopâŠbut you halted yourself when it got to the ice cream because that would be far too special for just a catch up. Thatâs the place you realized you were in love with him and surely the resurgence of those feelings would be strong, to say the least.Â
âWhatâs going on, babe?â Sebastian asked you and you huffed.
âJust had a weird day.â You explained as you played with your food a bit more, hoping that your appetite would increase.
âWhyâs that?â
âI ummm⊠I saw Harry.â You decided to just tell him straight up.
Sebastian had been someone youâd known for a while, ever since you were starting out. You would semi-frequently run into each other at open mic nights, karaoke bars, talent shows, scouting shows. You werenât close friends or anything deep, you just had drinks with the other few people who were nice and chill and struggling to get their big break. Luckily, yours came quite swiftly and then you were out of that scene. Heâd never gotten your number, but when you made it and your first song went #1 he did send you a fan letter, as he had no other way to reach you. And he was so happy for you and proud of you, and you reached out. Thatâs when you learned he was in talks with a label then too. He gave you his number and you started catching up a bit and then Harry happened and you friend zoned him (according to him, you had never really been interested like that). Once you got with Harry you were MIA for a bit, you just didnât know who you could trust at the start since Harry was far more famous and super private about everything, understandably so.Â
But then, Harry met all your friends, Seb included, and he saw how you were with Harry and he let go of whatever hope he had that you two could be together. He had shared that with you a bit after youâd gotten together. He just couldnât believe that after dating someone as big as Harry youâd give him a chance. But in all fairness, anyone who had experienced you and Harry together could tell you how palpable your love was. How intense and dedicated you were to each other for the near five years you spent together. Lots of conversations started with a âWhen you guys get marriedâŠâ and you wouldnât bat an eye. Of course you wanted to get married and have a life together. All this to say that Sebastian knew what it meant or could mean for you to see Harry again. He had been there for all of it and now he was a bit scaredâŠ
âToday?â He asked and you nodded.
âWell, it was more of a running into type of situation than a deliberate seeing each other.â You explained.
âI see. Where?â
âAt the studio. I was on my way out as he was coming in for something.â
âAre you okay?â
âI think soâŠIâm justâŠI donât know, it brought up a lot of shit, you know?â
âI can imagine.â
âSo thatâs why Iâm a bitâŠweird. I justâŠI donât know. Like I saw him and I missed him, you know?â
âAnd does he miss you?â
âHe said he does.â You shrugged, âI mean, I told him about you, so it wasnât like that.â You emphasized, âBut yeah, I just wasnât expecting that.â He mumbled.
âIâm sorry.â He said reaching his hand out for yours and you took it as you glanced down to watch your hands connect.
âItâs fine.âÂ
âHow long is he in town?â
âHe leaves tomorrow morning. Asked me to dinner, thatâs when I brought you up and said we had plans.â You smiled at him and he smirked.
âOh wowâŠI mean, I wouldâve understood if you ditched me for thee Harry Styles. But I appreciate you choosing to keep our plans.â He said with a slightly smug and victorious grin.
âOf course, babe.â You assured him with a smile.
But that didnât mean that mentally you werenât sitting across from Harry at the Roosevelt having an equally nice glass of wine and catching up over what the last couple years apart had been like for you.
*************
Harry very seldom used social media, especially for celebrity gossip purposes, but he found himself hunched over the table in his bedroom eating dinner alone while typing up your name in the Instagram search bar and going to the tags. Much like his, your instagram was now for professional use, so he knew there wouldnât be anything personal to find there so he didnât bother with your profile, hashtags were where it was at. And as soon as the page loaded, an avalanche of images came up. He went to the first one and it was a fan video, secretly taken of course, of you over dinner with your boyfriend. Sebastian?
âYouâre dating Sebastian? That Hozier rip off? Really?!â He muttered to himself bitterly.
He watched the clip replay a few times.You two were clearly talking about something a bit serious as you werenât smiling at first. But then he reached for your hand and you took it and smiled. He selfishly hoped you were talking about him just thenâŠÂ
of course, he would hate it if someone took videos of him like that at a private dinner, but he now understood why people did it. It was better than just seeing it with your own two eyes. This was forever. He could sit there all night and watch as your lips slowly turned up towards the end and smiled at him. He could watch your hand reaching out to touch Sebastianâs. He could sit there and theorize about where this conversation was goingâŠit could just be a serious topic of conversation, an amicable break up, some good news⊠Crumbs. Thatâs all these things were, just crumbs. He scrolled a bit and got to some other photos and videos of Sebastian at your shows, you at his shows, out and aboutâŠit was making his stomach twist up with jealousy and regret.Â
Harry didnât find that he got jealous much anymore, he felt more secure in himself and in his relationships, he had matured, a lot of things went into that. But a part of his heart would always belong to you and seeing you sharing your affection with someone else, it made him sick to his stomach. He scrolled down further, hoping to see something about you two but there was only disappointment.Â
When you were together he was so fucking paranoid that the public would ruin what you had that there was no PDA, everything was so clandestineâŠyouâd been papped alone a few times walking around together, at events, and a few other mundane situations but not like what you had with Sebastian over the last couple months. There were no pictures of you two holding hands, or smiling at each other the way you often did when you were alone or with trusted friends and family. There were no videos of you kissing in the corner of a dark party or side stage at a showâŠand whatever videos you had with each otherâŠwell, those had to go in case any of you ever got hacked or something. He did have a few pictures, but they were in his albums at home and probably scanned into a USB or something similar and it was just lying around collecting dust somewhere. He tried searching you two up and yeah, nothing. Just the couple things he knew of.
âFucking ridiculousâŠâ he mumbled with his mouth full as he went back to stalking you and Sebastian just a little bit longer. Sebastian had you all over his page; sure he was verified but he was still a smaller artist when compared to him or you, so he could afford to show a bit of his private life without people losing their heads over it.
Harry stopped when he started getting sad and also when a text from Tay came in responding to his news of his change of travel plans. Then he felt bad for lying, for staying longer than he needed to. But the sooner he went back home, the sooner he could forget all about you and what was and immerse himself in the world he lived in now. But then, the sooner he left the sooner heâd be without you close by. The sooner heâd be breathing someone elseâs airâŠsure, there were millions of people in LA, but knowing that you were one of them did things to him.
âŠ. A FEW DAYS LATER âŠ.
If there was one thing you hated to do that Caitlyn loved to do, it was work out. Youâd always been a bit lazy for it and did the bare minimum you could get away with. which was still excessive in your opinion, especially when youâd go with Caitlyn. One of her friends, Melissa, had invited the two of you to her friendâs new pilates studio and well, that was one of your hard limits. Barre and Pilates both were! Like what kind of sick fuck can bend that way? Is what you constantly thought to yourself as youâd literally have to have someone hold your body in certain positions to complete the routine.
Since Melissa knew Ilse, the owner of the studio, you were working out in a private studio, which you were eternally grateful for just to spare you from embarrassment at the very least. The last thing you wanted was to become an internet meme because you somehow got tangled up in a pilates machine.
âAlright, great form ladies and just hold a few more secondsâŠâ Ilse hummed to you all. She was sweet to encourage you as if she werenât currently holding you in position.
âWhat is going on out there? Itâs getting loud.â Melissa pointed out, which made Ilse, turn as well.
âIâm going to go check it out.â She said releasing you from your position before rushing out of the smaller studio.
âThank fuck.â You sighed as you just left your legs in the suspenders youâd been in for that position Ilse had you in.
âHow you holding up?â Caitlyn asked with a grin.
âThis isâŠterrible.â You confessed and you all laughed a bit. âWho wants to leave and feel like a wet noodle for three days after?â You whined.
âIt feels great! I love the soreness.â Melissa said and you scoffed.
âYouâre insane.â You said to Melissa.
ïżœïżœI am. Clinically.â She agreed and you laughed again at her joke. You was just laying there, legs still suspended in the air, at least this way you were getting good circulation. But mostly because you were afraid to move with how sore you already felt after just a half an hour of pilates. Then Ilse came back in capturing their attention.
âHarry Styles is here.â She said and this made Caitlyn turn to you quickly. You then attempted to sit up properly, âHeâs gonna do his thing in here too so that no one bugs him.â she explained. You were still fighting to get up from your laying position with your legs suspended above you. Finally you got your foot out of the fucking loop and were trying to get the other one out before he came in, âY/N, be careful.â Ilse warned as she started to make her way over to help. But she paused when the door opened behind her and in came Harry in a gray, long sleeve shirt and some tiny, navy blue shorts. You swallow thickly and pulled harder on the cable.
âIlse, thank you so much for letting me join-â A small shriek interrupted Harry as he came into the private studio. They all saw you fall out of the machine and they hurried over and huddled above you. And there you were on the ground, one of your feet still stuck in the loop of the cable, leaving it extended high above the rest of your body. How humiliating⊠Your eyes met his and you saw as he rolled his lips together to prevent his laughter from spilling out. Youâd always had an aversion to exercising as he recalled.
âOh my god! Are you OK?!â Ilse asked you. And then you were bursting into laughter, causing Ilseâs shoulders to lose their tension.Â
When your eyes met his again as you laughed he sputtered on his own laughter before it just spilled out of him and then your friends laughed along at your mishap as well. Harry was quick to step up and help you get your foot free and then Ilse helped you up.
âThank you.â You said to Ilse and Harry with a warm face and bashful smile.
âOf course. Do you need ice or something?â Ilse asked and you shook her head.
âIâm fine. Iâll just sit the rest out. Do some free weights.â
âReal convenient, missy.â Caitlyn mumbled and you grinned. Harry soon greeted Caitlyn and then properly greeted Melissa.
âSo how do you guys know each other?â She asked the three of you.
âJust industry friends.â You said quickly with a decisive nod and Harry glanced at you. Your eyes averted to Cailtynâs who just looked to Harry after a few seconds.
âCool, well letâs keep going then.â Ilse suggested. Since you had decided to just do some free wights across the room Harry took your spot as Ilse guided them through the rest of the routine.Â
Harry was stealing glances. Not that you werenât, but you were far more subtle about it. He couldnât help it though. He knew her body just as well as he knew his own. And just watching you move was bringing back so many memories. Heâs the one that discovered you had a birthmark right near the crook of your inner thigh. Heâs the person who discovered that you had a group of freckles and beauty marks on your mid back that almost resembled the entire Orion constellation. Heâs the person who knew that you hated that one of your boobs was âmuch smallerâ than the other. He thought they were pretty symmetrical, but whatever. He knew every scar you had. He knew each tattoo, heâd been there for many of them. He knew that there was this one eyelash you had that always grew in a little crooked and heâd always help you pluck it out after youâd beg and beg because it ruined your mascara. He knew the shape you liked to pluck your eyebrows in. He knew the shape of your lips and the shade of your eyes. He knew everything there was to know about you.Â
So yeah, he was looking and remembering all the little things about you that made you the beautiful, smart, talented, and unique person that you were. He hadnât allowed himself to love and obsess over anyone like that ever again, it took too much out of him. Just you.Â
âI thought you were supposed to leave a few days ago?â Caitlyn said. And well, if Caitlyn knew this, that meant you had talked about him to her.
âSomething came up. Have another meeting on Thursday. Sâfor a film, the director isnât back in town until then.â He elaborated.
âOoh what film?â
âA possible Bowie biopic.â He said and she looked impressed.
âNice. Are you interested in the project?â She asked just as you bent over to grab your water bottle and Harry got a little lost for a moment.Â
He barely heard a word Caitlyn had said, he just watched you shamelessly. God, he missed that perfect, little body of yours. Seeing as Caitlyn was facing the mirror while she talked to him, she could see your reflection and obviously, what Harry was staring at. She loved you and Harry together, but the logistics were kind of fucked and you were stretching yourselves so thin, it was unhealthy. You hadnât ended things because you werenât in love; in fact, you were so in love that you couldnât do that to each other anymore. You had tried to wait it out, but it was exhausting you two to degrees that just was a bit irresponsible for some of the biggest stars on the planet, so you went your own ways.
âSheâs happy, you know?â Caitlyn said quietly and Harryâs eyes flickered away from you to hers. He sighed and nodded.
âI know.â He said, âWith Sebastian?â
âShe told you it was him?â Caitlyn asked. Harry had always been a little wary around Sebastian because it was fairly obvious to him that he had a thing for you. He never tried anything and was always respectful, but just that jealousy he felt over you was palpable. And it would make Harry be on high alert when you guys was around him.
âNo. I had toâŠfucking look it up.â He admitted with slight irritation. Caitlyn snorted quietly on a laugh causing him to shoot her a glare. âShut up.â He mumbled with a bashful smile as he smacked her with his towel on the leg.
âEw! Unsanitary!â She scoffed through her sniggers.
âFuck you, I havenât even used it yet.â He chuckled. When their little fit died down she got serious again.
âYou seem happy too.âÂ
âIâŠI am.â He nodded once, âBut itâs her. SheâsâŠâ he trailed off as he glanced at you again, âShe was it for me, you know?â He said with some sadness. âI donât knowâŠI justâŠwasnât prepared to see her yet.âÂ
âThatâs what she said too. Maybe itâll always be that way? Like you guys had something extraordinary. It was special, some real soul mate shit, you know? Of course itâs going to be hard to get over. I literally thought that was all BS until I saw how you guys were together.â She said and he smiled.
âYeah.â He agreed.
âWhat do you want?â
âTo just be around her.â He said and she hummed.
âThen be friends.â Caitlyn suggested and he immediately shook his head.
âI couldnâtâŠlike Iâm happy for her, but I donât want to see it in my face. And Iâm sure she feels the same about that. Seeing each other have everything we had and more? No way.â
âThenâŠI donât know, Harry.â
âCan you just ask her i-if we could grab a coffee or talk or something?â
âWhy donât you ask her?â
âBecause sheâll say no.â
âHow do you know?â
âBecause I do.â He said, âWhat if she thinks Iâm just trying toâŠto make her doubt or something?â
âShe knows youâd never hurt her and you know sheâd never hurt you.â
âI know, but what ifâŠâ
âWhat if you guys do something stupid like cheat?â Caitlin asked bluntly and he nodded. âWell then thatâs up to you guys.â she said simply, âI did tell her it was probably good that she couldnât have dinner with you the other nightâŠI could see something happen during a moment of weakness. All that attraction and love you guys still have for each otherâŠI mean, I canât see either of you walking away without someone getting hurt if youâre not overly cautious. Maybe itâs a temptation or maybe itâs what needs to happen to open that door againâŠI donât know, H. But if you do want to see her again just be careful with your hearts and those of the others youâre involved with now.â She admonished and he nodded.
âYouâre right.â He said and glanced down at his knees instead of at you. âI donât want to fuck anything up for her.â
âAnd what about you?â
âIâm already fucked.â He chuckled breathily with sadness in his eyes.
************
When their session was over you all said their goodbyes. Harry headed back into the locker rooms to have a shower though, so he didnât walk out with you three. You had gone to have some breakfast at Melissaâs house and were in the middle of eating when your phone pinged. When you picked it up from the table you saw âHarryâ on the text notification and you locked it and set it down with a pounding heart. Caitlyn looked to you with a knowing glance and you sighed and went back to your food. Melissa was cool, she was an influencer who was dabbling in TV, which is how she met Caitlyn. But you werenât really personal friends with her yet so you didnât feel like bringing Harry up right now. You could talk to Caitlyn about it on your way home.
As soon as you were in the car you looked at his text and smiled at the screen. Harry was sweet, a bit of an over-thinker, but you loved that about him. He was thoughtful of how he wanted to be perceived and how he came across.
âDid he ask to see you?â Caitlyn asked and you nodded and locked your phone before taking off. You sat in silence for just a few minutes before Caitlyn turned to you. âSo what are you going to do?â
âI donât know.â You confessed. âIf I see himâŠaloneâŠâ you sighed, âsâjust that after seeing him I realized I still feel too much for him.â You explained. âI donât want to fuck things up with Seb or hurt him in any way. Like you know that I care about him. So much. But this is Harry, you know? Do you think Sebâll understand if I want to meet up with Harry?â You asked and Caitlyn sighed.
âGirl, I donât knowâŠbut after speaking a bit with Harry I donât know if itâs a good idea.â She said and you frowned.
âWhat did he say?â You couldnât help but ask.
âHeâs justâŠhanging on by a thread I think.â She said and you frowned. âLike youâre both in relationships, good ones, that seem to make you guys happy. And I meanâŠyou guys are each otherâs weakness, you know? And I care about you both so much and I donât want you to accidentally do something that youâll regret and hate yourselves for. Like I get it, you miss each other, but would tempting fate fix things or make them worse?â She asked and you sighed.
âYouâre right. Youâre so right.â You agreed.
âHe knows youâre with Sebastian.â Caitlyn said and you turned to her for a moment with confusion.
âHow?â
âHe was looking you up online or something is what he said.â Upon hearing that you giggled and Caitlyn started to chuckle as well. Before you knew it, you were both laughing hard at how crazy that was. Him scouring the internet to find information about you? âIf Harry internet lurks you can too. Youâre missing outâŠâ Caitlyn said after your laughing spell had died down.
âYeah, no thanks. I have some dignity.â You grinned and Caitlyn rolled her eyes.Â
**************
Harry waited and waited. And waited well into the night for Y/N to respond to his text. He had no idea if youâd even read it. Maybe you had changed your number and heâd texted someone else by mistake. He was getting antsy, he was only in town for four more days. So he did a double text, just to verify that it was still your number and when no response came after another 10 minutes he just settled against his pillows and pulled out the book he had brought along with him. He wasnât even hungry anymore after that disappointment.
**************
Sebastian had come over to your house for dinner at the last minute and now you were just washing up your dishes from that when he came into the kitchen glowering at you.
âWhat the matter?â You asked with some concern and he brought your phone up to your face so that you could see what had him so upset. You pouted a bit when you read Harryâs second text, he was just asking if it was still your number. You felt bad for leaving him on read now.
âYou saw him again today and he asked you out again?â Sebastian asked with irritation. He had every right to be irritated without context, but the explanation would easily appease his anger.
âI didnât plan to see him. Me and the girls were at pilates and he showed up at that studio. I have no control over where he goes! What was I supposed to do? Leave?â You asked him and he sighed, âThe trainer had him come work out in the studio with us because people were flocking him. But when he came over I even left to do strength training instead. Ask Caitlyn! I didnât even talk to him!â You said quickly as he searched your eyes. The fear and panic in them made him doubt you. âHe just wants to catch up.â You said as he set your phone down on the counter with a sigh.
âI want to believe you but-â
âThen believe me, Sebastian!â You said with exasperation as you shut the water off and took off the rubber gloves you were wearing. âThe evidence is there on my phone. I havenât even answered him!â You pointed out and he sighed.
âWhy is he so determined of doing this? Doesnât he have a girlfriend to hang out with?âÂ
âItâs justâŠa lot seeing each other after so long. He probably just wants to reconnect and be friends? Maybe if I just talk to him-â
âI donât want you talking to him, Y/N.â Sebastian said and you frowned. âI donât trust him and I donât like how pushy heâs being about this.â
âHeâs not being pushyâŠâ you sighed.
âHe is! You left him on read and he doesnât take the fucking hint.â Sebastian argued.
âWell maybe if I just respond and explain that youâre not comfortable with us meeting up alone then heâll-â
âOh, donât put this on me.â Sebastian cut you off.
âWell youâre the one whoâs upset over this, Seb. I honestly wasnât even going to respond to him!â
âIf youâre not going to respond just delete the message and block the number.â He insisted, handing your phone over. You frowned as you glanced down at it in your hands and then up at him.
âNo, Seb. Iâm not blocking him for no real reason!â You pushed back.
âYour boyfriend being upset over it is a real reason, Y/N. He wants you back! Why canât you see that?â He groaned in frustration.
âNo, he doesnât. He just wants to talk and catch up!â You countered.
âWell I donât care what he wants, Y/N. I donât want you to see him. I forbid it!â He put his foot down and you scoffed.Â
âYou forbid it? What the fuck? Who are you to tell me who I can and canât see in my free time, Seb? I think Iâve respected you and our relationship by leaving it and not answering him. I even told you when I first saw him-â
âOnly because I asked! And now again, you see him and donât say anything about it until I see these texts!â
âOne sided texts!â You added and he shook his head.
âI waited my turn and I chose to be with you, Y/N. And right now you need to choose me back.â He said and you sighed as you started growing anxious and frustrated.
âIâm with you, Seb! I already chose you! Thereâs nothing for me to choose right now! Youâre the one putting Harry in the middle of us right now.â You argued.
âYouâre honestly telling me that if he says he wants you back you wouldnât hesitate to choose me over him? Youâd just tell him to fuck off?â He asked and you frowned.
âThatâs⊠thatâs a silly thing to think. Why are you even arguing hypotheticals, Seb? This will get us nowhere-â
âTell me, now. Who would you choose, Y/N?â He insisted more seriously and you shook your head.
âIâm not playing this stupid game with you, Seb.â You said as you crossed your arms. Holding your position.
âYou refusing to make a choice over this speaks fucking volumes, Y/N.â He said with disappointment before he stormed out of the kitchen. You took a second to let your mind try and catch up with how all of this went south so quickly. Once you were up to speed you hurried over to the front door where he was sliding his feet into his shoes.
âWhere are you going?â You asked him with welled up eyes and he refused to answer you. âSebastian!â You raised your voice.
âIâm done.â He seethed, finally responding to you, âIâm done playing second fiddle to him, Y/N.â He said pointedly before leaving your place with a loud thud of the door slamming.Â
You groaned into your hands and your tears started rolling down your cheeks. You were so fucking angry at him and at HarryâŠit was making you boil over as you returnedd to the kitchen and grabbed your phone and called him. He didnât pick up, you tried again after a few moments and it went straight to voicemail. You were so angry at him you almost threw your phone at the wall. But before you could, you decided to make another call, this one to Harry.
âY/N?â He answered almost right away and before you could berate him for his texts you started to sniffle, âHey? Whatâs wrong? Why are you crying?â He asked softly. His voice was drenched with concern.
âSeb saw your texts and I think he just broke up with me.â You whimpered as more tears started to fall. You started to sob a bit harder and just dropped yourself on the couch. Harry felt awfulâŠhe hadnât meant to stir up trouble for you, he just missed you.
âIâm so sorry. I donât think I said anything bad or suspicious.â He apologized.
âYou didnât. He just thinks youâreâŠtrying to get me back. He asked me to block you and I said no because thatâs stupid. Weâre fucking grown ups, you know?â
âYeah.â He hummed as he listened.
âAnd heâŠhe asked me if you wanted to get back together with me, if I would I choose him over you.â You said and he bit his lip.
âWhatâd you say?â
âI didnât say anything! I told him he was being ridiculous for bring up hypotheticals like that. Like what would we gain from that, you know? And he got more angry and said that not choosing was basically choosingâŠâ
âI see how he came to that conclusion. I meanâŠit makes it seem likeâŠhe wouldnât like the choice youâd make.â He explained.
âWell itâs not like that! I justâŠI donât know, Harry.â You said before gasping for air as you started to cry harder. Harry wished he could be there to hold you and tell you everything would be fine. Heâd just let you get it out for a little bit.
âIâm really sorry for stirring up trouble for you, love.â Harry apologized with full sincerity.Â
âItâs alright.â You whispered as your crying diminished.
âItâs notâŠI shouldâve taken the fucking hint. I just miss you and want to spend time with you before I go. I was upset that you didnât answer me after this morning. I shouldâve just left it alone and-â
âI miss you too, H.â You cut him off. You sniffled as you just stared up at the ceiling. âFucking ridiculous amounts.â You added and he smiled.
âMe too.â He agreed.
âIâm sorry for not responding to you. I didnât mean to make you feel bad. Sâjust that after talking to Caitlyn about it I just got a littleâŠscared I guess. LikeâŠwhat if we like have a moment of weakness and do something fucked up and-â
âLove, no.â he responded even if he had the same fear as her.
âIs is that crazy to think about? We obviously still share a lot of feelings for each other and I would hate toâŠto mess anything up for you if IâŠif Iâm not strong enough.â You explained.
âIf anyoneâs not strong enough here itâs me.â He said and you smiled, âGodâŠlikeâŠI donât know if wanting to see you is wrong or not and I donât care. All I know is that you mean a lot to me and Iâve missed you.â
âEnough to lurk me on the internet?â You asked with a smile and he sighed.
âFucking CaitlynâŠâ he chuckled and you laughed. âSo pathetic.â Muttered lowly.
âSânotâŠâ you appeased him.
âSo youâve done it too?â He asked hopefully.
âNo way.â You said quickly and he chuckled, âItâs not because Iâm not curious I justâŠI donât want t-to see you with her.â You admitted and a silence came over you two for several moments as the information settled. âAnd well, itâs not even about her really, itâs justâŠyou I guess.â You confessed, âItâs such an ugly feeling.â You explained with a frown, âIt makes my stomach hurt and it makes me annoyed and my chest feels heavy and like-â
âYou get jealous.â He said and you sighed. Youâd never been of the jealous kind. Specially not with Harry, you knew that even God would have to kill one of you to keep you apart. There was no chance of straying from each other. So this feeling festering inside of you was absolutely foreign to you and you never wanted it again. Youâd seen a photo of them briefly on some gossip website when a friend had sent a link about some crazy rumor theyâd written about you. It was a suggestion for another article read at the bottom of the article about you. The photo above the title was of them two, you only saw it quickly before you closed out of the tab, never wanting to see it again. But god, it was truly such an ugly feeling. You literally felt it growing out of your heart and infecting yourâŠyouâd been moody the rest of that day; it was awful.
âYeah, I guess I doâŠfeel jealous.â You admitted and he bit his lip for a second.
âWhile I was lurking instagram the other day? I saw a video of you and Sebastian kissing at some concert of his. At the side of the stage?â He said.
âYeah?â You asked and he sighed.
âYep. I-it made me soâŠmad. Like a helpless kind of mad. And then sad.â He said and you frowned, âIt made me sad because we didnât have that. I hate that I kept you so hiddenâŠI shouldâve been less afraid of the public, of the fans, of all the external bullshit that fucks with my head. I wish people couldâve see how happy we were. Wish they couldâve see how much we love each other.â He said and you felt your stomach flip when he said that. He didnât say âhow much we loved each otherâ, he said âloveâ, present tense, as in right now. It felt good to hear but it also scared you because you realized that you too were hanging on by a thread.
âYou know, I kinda love that itâs just between us. Like back then it was tough to hide like that, but now I appreciate it more. I feltâŠsafe and protected and normal when we were together, you know?â
âYeah, thatâs true.â He hummed. âDo you ever think about us?â He asked meekly.
âOf course I do. A lot of the timeâŠâ you said with a smile. âLike early last year, Seb opened for someone at the Forum and he likeâŠfell in love with it.â
âRightfully so, sâthe perfect venue.â He said and you hummed.
âLiterally. So he bought us club passes and we went to see John Mayer like a few months later and we had the same exact seats that we had for Elton John. Remember?â
âOh, godâŠdo IâŠâ he laughed and you started to laugh as well. âAnd Jeffrey had to get them to delete the video of us sneaking into the family bathroom, remember?â He started chuckling.
âOh, I remember.â You giggled.Â
âAt least we was fastâŠâ
âWe werenât. We were in there for almost half an hour.â You pointed out.
âWere we?â He asked in shock and you laughed.
âYeah! You said you wanted to to enjoy it or something like that. And when I said we should go home then you said-â
âAnd miss Elton John?â He cut her off and you laughed as you nodded.
âLiterally, you paused, mid-fuck. Like mid thrust, Harry.â You cackled as he laughed loudly over the line, âAs if we werenât already missing the best bits anywayâŠâ you said and he smiled as the laughter died down. âIâd never done anything in public like that before.â You said, âYou tainted me.â You joked.
âYeah, you tell yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night, love.â He chuckled and bit his lip as he recalled how you were biting down on his shirt to contain your sounds. He had no idea what had gotten into him that night, all he recalls is the you were wearing this perfume that was so intoxicating, he just wanted to be buried against your neck. Kissing you, inhaling that sweet and warm scent that made his head spin. He was touching you in some way the whole fucking time until he sneakily brought his fingers up your skirt and touched you over her underwear slowly until you were drenched for him. He shifted a bit when he felt his cock hardening up in his sweats at the memory of what happened afterwards in that bathroom.
âOK, thanksâŠjust a funny little story to lighten up the mood.â You said and he hummed.
âI want to see you.â He said decidedly and you bit your lip.
âI donât know if we should, H.â
âRight now. Just FaceTime.â He said and you shot up.
âHarry, noâŠIâm all snotty and shit-â
âWell if weâre not going to see each other in person before I go at least like this. Please, love.â He said and you sighed as you wiped your eyes a bit before the request to FaceTime came in and you accepted and seconds later there you were. Face to face. You stayed quiet for a few moments, just looking at each other, the air was tense with all of the thoughts and feeling being left unsaid.
âI do want to see you.â You said, finally breaking the silence and he hummed. He was in bed, his free arm was pulled back, supporting his head and he was clearly topless from what you could see.Â
âYeah?â He smiled.
âOf course. I justâŠfeel like itâs asking for trouble.â
âWhy?â He chuckled.
âBecause! I mean, look at you just now.â You said with a giggle and he glanced down a bit and smirked.
âHow do you think I felt today at the gym?â
âI was working out!â
âAnd Iâm just laying in bed.â He responded simply.Â
âThis is bad, H.â
âWhat is?â He chuckled.
âThe way IâmâŠlooking at you and thinking about you.â You said softly.
âAnd what way is that?â He asked and you shook her head bashfully as he smiled a bit, âItâs not like Iâm not thinking the same things about youâŠâ He responded and you bit your lip nervously. âEarlier today I was remembering how I found your birthmark.â He said with a placid smile.
âDidnât even know it was thereâŠâ
âYouâre welcome by the way.â He hummed and you rolled her eyes at him playfully. âWhen did you move out of your flat?â He asked changing the subject. He just assumed as he didnât recognize your surroundings.
âLast year. Finally could afford a house. Sâsmall for the area, three bedrooms. Very English cottage/craftsman style, original architecture. Obviously, the inside is renovated, but the external structure is in great shape.â You described and he smiled. âIt reminded me of the houses in the country we saw when we visited your family together up north? The ones with the brick exteriors.â You said and he nodded and smiled, âIt has a lovely front gardenâŠthere are tons of windows so the sun shines in nearly all afternoon. And the garage was turned into like a studio apartment and Iâm planning to renovate it into a little music studio once I save up enough.â
âThat sounds really nice. So where are you at now?â He asked.
âWest Hollywood west.â You said and his eyes widened.
âNo way. Dude, I am like down the street from you right now.â He chuckled and you smiled.
âOh! Really?â
âYeah. I couldnât extend my stay at the Roosevelt so Jeffrey moved me to the SLS on La Cienega.â He explained, âI could literally jog to you if I wanted.â He chuckled and you smiled and bit your lip for a moment. It was already dark outâŠso no one would see himâŠ
âWould you really?â You asked and he nodded.
âYeah, of course! Had to skip my cool down cardio today because there were too many people at the gym.â He said and you thought about it for a moment.Â
Harry was ready to jump out of bed and throw some clothes on and run out if you said he could. He just wanted to be around you again. Even talking like this was nice, just getting to see your expressions and watch you form your thoughts and listen to him.
âMaybe you running over here is not a great ideaâŠâ you said when you heard a police siren down the street. He tried to mask his disappointment at this but nodded, âI could pick you up?â You suggested instead.
âUh yeah, thatâs cool too.â
âDo you have any plans tomorrow?â
âNo, just work out and hanging out in the area.â
âOK, so no strict curfew.â You smiled and he shook his head.
âNope.â
 âOk. Ummm, Iâm gonna try to call Seb again and let him know.â
âDoes he stay with you?â Harry asked.
âNo, he actually lives in Pasadena.â
âOohâŠâ Harry exclaimed with a scrunch in his face, âThatâs a commute just because of the traffic.â
âI know. Itâs not really that far, but man he has to take all the shitty freeways.â You said, âI think he probably went home after we argued. But I just want to let him know that Iâm having you over just to avoid any issues.â You explained and he nodded. He loved that about you, youâd always been really considerate like that and it made him smile that you were still that way.
âOh yeah, of course. I should probably do the same.â He said and you smiled.
âOK. Iâll text you my ETA when Iâm heading out.â
âSounds good.â He nodded and then you hung up.
You tried calling Sebastian a couple times before giving up and going to finish the dishes you had started on, maybe heâd call back. You finished up and still no response from Seb. Then you packed up the leftovers and still he had not called you back. You sighed and just called again, killing a bit of time by going around the house, lighting some of the candles you had out. But as it rang out to his voicemail once again you decided to just leave a message.
âHey babe.â You started out, âI just wanted to say Iâm sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. Itâs just thatâŠHarry is really important to me and I miss him, OK? I miss getting to be his friend and he just wants to reconnect a bit, OK? His hotel is like 2 miles away from the house and heâs going to come here for a bit. Iâm not sure if youâre on the road home or just went out somewhere nearby, so Iâm just letting you know in case you want to come by whenever. I love you, Seb. Bye.â You finished and then hung up. You then texted Caitlyn just to let her know what happened and assured her youâd call the following day to catch her up on everything. By that time it had been about 20 minutes and you texted Harry to let him know you were on your way.
Harry was relieved to hear back from you with your ETA. After it took more than five minutes for you to get back to him he decided to have a quick shower so that he wouldnât have to do it if he got back too late. He was so nervous, he felt like his heart would beat out of his chest at getting to be with you again. And when it got to two minutes of you arriving he made his way down to the lobby. He was quick as he scurried out and just as he was walking past the valet you pulled up to the curb.
âUber for Garry?â You called out the passenger window with a playful grin and he laughed as he opened up the door and settled in.
âHi.â He greeted you, his smile wide.
âHi.â You responded and then you bit your lip to avoid smiling like Demi Lovato in Camp Rock. You were far too happy, you just needed a second to gather yourself. You were just taking each other in for a moment before someone honked at you and you jumped as the harsh sound startled you both. âJesusâŠSorry.â You mumbled before you started peeling away from the pick up area. Harry was chuckling beside you and you just rolled your eyes at him as he poked a bit of fun.
âHowâd it go with Seb.â He asked, changing the subject.
âIt didnâtâŠthatâs why I took so long. Tried him a bunch of times while I finished cleaning up after dinner. Gave him a bit to call back and he didnât so I left him a message. I did tell him that he could drop by whenever just toâŠsee for himself that itâs fine.â
âYeah, thatâs probably a good idea.â
âYeahâŠI just donât get where all this suddenly came from. Like, Iâve been straight up about everything since I saw you last week and he was fine about it.â
âMaybe heâs just jealous.â
âWell yeah, but that doesnât mean he has to distrust me.â You said and he nodded.
âThatâs true. Well look, letâs not worry about it now. We can have a nice time and catch upâŠâ He smiled and you nodded.
âHave you eaten dinner?â
âNope.â
âShould I stop somewhere? Or thereâs food at the house if you want that.â You said and he nodded.
âYeah, thatâs alright.â He smiled and you nodded. âDo you still cook a lot?â He asked and you smiled and nodded.
âOh yeah, avidly. The kitchen continues to be my happy place.â You confirmed. âCaitlyn is on this vegan kick until next Thanksgiving, so Iâve been trying out a bunch of new stuff that sheâs recommended I learn to cook for her.â you explained with a smile, âSeb is losing his mind about it though, all he eats is brown rice, chicken, and fish.â You explained, âTonight I made like a veggie stir fry type of thing? With zucchinis and other types of squash, carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, and some beyond ground beef.âŠâ
âThat sounds excellent.â he said and you smiled.
âI thought so too! Never thought Iâd have to persuade a grown man into eating that many vegetables.â You said of Seb and Harry chuckled.
âI donât even want to know what that meansâŠâ he mumbled jokingly as he glanced out the window and you laughed.Â
âNot like thatâŠâ you giggled.
âSureâŠsure.â Harry hummed as he side eyed you, who just shook you head in response. âWell you donât have to persuade me. Though Iâm not sure if I should just have you persuade me depending on what youâre persuading people with.â He teased and you rolled your eyes.
âI promised to make his favorite meal next time. That was the persuasion.â You clarified and he chuckled.
âI mean, Iâll still take thatâŠdo you even remember-â
âOf course! Branzino al Limone. How could I forget?â You asked with a smile as you glanced to him briefly, and he grinned in satisfaction. âPerfected the recipe last time I went to Italy actually.âÂ
âWhy? For me?â He asked smugly.
âUmmm, because itâs good?! Also it was one of the dishes in the cooking course I completed there.â You said and he chuckled.
âWell thatâs good.âÂ
âYeah.â You smiled.Â
You and Harry bonded a lot over food, it was basically one of your biggest love languages in your relationship. You loved learning together and you taught him a lot of the things he now knew. You wanted to ask if he cooked for his girlfriendâŠhe probably did, it was part of his charm, part of the wooing process. He invited his love interest over to his and made you his perfected risotto al pomodoro and then had the other person involved in helping with dessert and while that went in the oven youâd kill some time byâŠwell, you reckoned anyone would know what you filled that time with. It was basically straight out of a romcom. He even did it for you when you started dating. But you were much younger then so it was all the more impressive that a man pulled out all the stops like that.
You then wondered if she cooked for him as well. Did she do things better than you or was he left wanting just a bit more, forced to remember you every time she took a stab at his favorites? Or did they even do that for each other in this relationship? You wanted to know about it, but at the same time you knew that any knowledge of how his relationship worked with someone else wouldnât really benefit you in any way. As long as he was happy, that was all you needed to know.
âHey, whatâs the matter?â He suddenly asked when you grew quiet.
âNothing, just ummm, just thinking.â You said as you glanced at him quickly, âWeâre nearly there.â You said and he nodded as you turned down to a residential street. The houses there looked to be of an older build, but they were still very beautiful. There was the odd bright white millennial cement block people were obsessed with currently, but other than that, the neighborhood you were in seemed to embrace the older LA architecture for the most part. âSâthat one there in the corner.â You pointed to your right and he smiled as he saw your little corner house.
âGod it even looks like EnglandâŠso much green!â He chuckled happily as he glanced at you briefly before looking back as you got closer.Â
Yeah, whoever lived there before her absolutely covered the property in plants. The entire front of the property was lined with a hedge that he assumed was his shoulder height or so. And then running diagonally through the front lawn was a little path of steps to get up to the front door, it was lined at each side by some of those little stake lights and blocked off by a little iron gate. You had some free driveway for guests and then another gate to close off the access to the backyard.
âLet me open up the gate,â you said as you unbuckled your seatbelt, âMy control is out of batteries and then I bought the wrong-â
âI got it. I want to snoop your lawn.â He said as he unfastened his own seatbelt and you smiled.
âYeah sure. The gate codeâs-â
âYour birthday?â He asked with a knowing smile and you chuckled, âStill your birthday?!â He asked teasingly and you shrugged. âOh, Iâve missed youâŠâ he hummed quietly, smiling to himself now as he hopped out of the car and walked over to the little keypad at the far end of the gate. âSix digit and pound I assume?â He called out in question.
âYes!â You shouted and he gave you a thumbs up before entering the numbers. Just a second later the wooden gate started to open inward, allowing you to drive in and he allowed himself to then wander down to the sidewalk where he unlatched the gate to get up to the front door.
It was so pretty out there. There was a a flower garden against the gate on the right side and thanks to the LA weather they were still in bloom. He could even smell some of the lavender planted there. He followed the path up to the well lit front door and smiled as he saw the beautiful deep teal colored door. There was a big window to some room in the home, possibly the living room, though he couldnât really make out what it was to because of the thin curtain over it so he just focused back on the door. He just couldnât get over the color. Then at the foot of the door he spotted a welcome mat reading âSup. Iâm mat.â And Harry immediately burst into laughter and glanced around again to see some wind chimes dangling off of the corner of the drop off of the roof. The grass was well kept and there seemed to be plenty of space to sit out here if you wanted to in the evenings when it cooled downâŠ
âWhatâs so funny?â You suddenly asked and he turned around to see you coming up the steps.
âMat.â He said pointing to the welcome mat and you giggled.
âOh rightâŠ$10 if you guess who got me that as a housewarming giftâŠâ you said and he chuckled.
âOh CaitlynâŠIâve missed her too.â He said and you sniggered. âI really like the color of your door.â He complimented.
âThank you.â You smiled.
âAnd the yard is so nice and lush. Love the hedges.â
âYeah? Iâm thinking of getting rid of the hedges.â You shared.
âOh really?â
âYeah. Like I like them for privacy but it just seems so closed off to me.â
âI can see thatâŠWhat does Sebastian think?â
âWho cares? He doesnât live here.â You sniggered and he chuckled and nodded.
âWell personally, Iâd keep âem. Youâre so close to Sunset that when people find out this is your home there are bound to be TMZ tour busses rolling to a stop every hour and a half.â He said and you sighed as you realized her was right, âBesides, it just kinda feels like your own little world with them, you know? Almost like secret garden type vibes.â He said as he looked around the area again and you smiled.
âWell thank you for your input, I will consider it.â You assured and he smiled, âAlright, lets get inside.â You said and keyed your way in. You had one of those keypad doors as well because losing keys was your hidden talent.
âOh wow, this is so nice!â Harry complimented as he looked around inside.
âThank you.â You smiled as you slipped out of her shoes and he did the same. âWant a tour?â
âYeah!â He agreed eagerly.Â
With that confirmation you first guided him down the hallway towards the master bedroom and let him wander around in there for a bit. It had a door to the backyard as well so he looked out there and let her talk about her plans for her little studio before you wandered into the bathroom and closet. He was obsessed with her shower and even snapped some pictures to see if he could do something like that at his place. Then you went to the guest bedrooms to look around in there, and then you stopped in the living room on their way to the kitchen.
âHey! Thatâs mine! I thinkâŠâ He smiled brightly and pointed at a painting of an array of colorful, small and silly, misshapen faces. He walked up to the wall in the living room with tons of art hung on it and studied that one.
âOh yeah, it is one of yours.â You smiled, âI found it when I was cleaning out my storage unit!â
âGod, I was so fucking high when I painted thatâŠâ he recalled and chuckled as he shook his head.
âWere you?â You chuckled and he nodded, glancing back at you for a moment before he looked back to the painting.
âCanât believe I even gave it to you. It was a secret Santa gift, wasnât it?â He asked as he turned back towards you, fully this time and you nodded with a smile in response to his question. âItâs pretty cool. Mâglad you kept it.â He said more softly.
âOf course I did. I love it. It really catches the eye. Sâthe one people ask about the most actually. Especially when they see the signature.â You said and he chuckled.
âYouâve got a lot of cool pieces.â He added.
âThank you.â
âCanât believe we never even went to a museum together.â he said as he turned back to the wall. âSuch a shameâŠâ
âHey, maybe one day.â You said and he smiled as he turned back to you, âAlright, lets get you fed.â You said.
âYes, please!â He concurred and followed you through to the kitchen.Â
You fixed him a plate and told him to feel free to keep looking around the house while it warmed up. You checked your phone again and Seb had not even sent a text in response yet. You were getting worried now, maybe he was serious when he said he was done. You still didnât think youâd done anything horribly wrong, he had been quite demanding and unreasonable in your opinion.Â
When Harry came back into the kitchen to find you staring at your phone he frowned.
âHey, everything alright?â His presence startled you a bit, but you nodded quickly.
âYeah.â You assured and he looked at you skeptically, âI swear. I was just checking to see if Seb got back to me yet.â
âHe hasnât?â He asked and you shook your head as you set your phone down and turned to the microwave to grab his plate. When you turned back he sighed, âIâm sorry.â
âItâs not your fault, Har.â
âBut it isâŠif I hadnât insisted t-to have some time with you then maybe-â
âI wanted to have time with you too.â You reminded and slid the plate over to him across the counter and he settled into one of the stools along the island. You then turned around to grab him a fork. Once he had it in his hand he quickly started eating.
âThis is delicious.â He moaned with a partially full mouth, âMissed how you cook.â He tagged on happily and you smiled.
âGlad you like it.â You hummed and then started to pack the leftovers back up again. âDo you want some wine or water? I also have Cutwaters, which are quite traumatizing but-â
âAre you gonna have that?â He asked.
âI will if you will.â You said and he chuckled.
âYeah, alright. What flavor?â
âSâthe Long Island ones.â You said with a slight grimace and he mirrored your expression.
âDo you have a death wish?â He asked and you sniggered.
âThere were gifted to me with a PR package, OK? Didnât just want to throw âem out.â
âGodâŠjust one though, those are alarmingly strong.â He reminded.
âOh, I knowâŠI hardly even drink anymore apart from the occasional glass of wine. I might only have a cocktail, two max, at events but itâs pretty rare now. So one will definitely do it for me.â You chuckled and he did as well as you turned back to the fridge to open up the box. You came around to the stools and set the cans down and then sat in the spot beside him. âSo what did you girlfriend say?â You asked against your better judgment but you had to know.
âAbout?â He asked, glancing to you before taking another bite of food.
âUs. Hanging out tonight.â You clarified and he hummed.
âOh! I ummm, I just decided not to mention it to her.â He confessed a bit shamefully, âI was going to but Iâm not sure of what her reaction would be and that scared me a bit. And either way, I wouldâve come seen you regardless of her opinion about it, so if sheâd gotten angry well, I didnât want to lie and pretend I wasnât gonna see you on top of making her angryâŠâ he rationalized his decision and then went back for another bite of food.
âA lie of omission is still a lieâŠâ you hummed and he shrugged.
âDamned if I do, damned if I donât.â He mumbled and you sighed and nodded. âI-is that bad?â He asked.
âWhat?â You asked.
âThat I donât care what sheâd think of us reconnecting.â He said and you sighed.
âI think, in a black and white world the answer is yes, but itâs not. And more than that, I mean, itâs us. It feels wrong to be strangers.â You said and he nodded. âBut I mean, in a way itâs good that sheâs new in your life because she doesnât really know how we were together, you know? So she has nothing to worry about. Not that there is anything to worry about at the moment, but if sheâs on the insecure side then it could cause her some concern.â
âLike Seb.â He said. Not meaning to, but instinctually having to point it out.
âYeah, I guess soâŠâ you sighed.
âMaybe he does have something to worry about?â Harry said and you turned to him with a furrow in your brows and then his arched up, âNot with me! Sorry that came out wrong, forget I said anything. Sorry.â He rushed out and took another bite of food.
âIf not about you then what?â You asked him as he chewed and he shook his head.
âJust forget it. I misspoke.â He mumbled after swallowing it down.
âH, donât- donât do that to me.â You said lowly as you looked into his eyes and he sighed.
âI justâŠjust donât take what I say to heart, OK? I shouldâve just kept my mouth shut.â He prefaced and you nodded, âSâjust something a friend told me about their overly jealous and insecure partner that came to mind. She said that often times those people are so worried about what their partners are doing as a form ofâŠprojection.â He said and your eyes softened and you looked down at the counter as the implication of what he was saying weighed on you. âThose kinds of people are often paranoid about their own hidden secrets or agendas being uncovered that they try and-â he stopped when he saw you pick up your can and chug it down for a few seconds before setting it down.
Your chest was rising and falling hard as you caught your breath. You werenât sure if your throat was stinging from the overload of carbonation youâd just gulped down or from fighting off the knot seeking to lodge itself in it. You hadnât considered that before. Maybe you were naive, but you always trusted that your partners had your best interest at heart. Though you had been cheated on twice by the same person in the past, this was right before you met Harry. And well, things with Harry had been so great that you were largely able to overcome your trust issues over the course of your relationship with him. You healed from it, but now it seemed like it was maybe a thing again.
âHey,â Harry spoke softly and grabbed your hand and you turned to him, âI know Seb, he wouldnât do that to you.â He said with certainty, âHe was in love with you for five years, maybe more, and never did a thing about it but wait his turn.â He said and you blinked a few times and nodded, âIâm telling you, it just came to mind but I shouldnât have said anything. It doesnât- itâs not the same situation.â He emphasized.
âMaybe weâre wrong for this. Maybe we just need t-to let it go. The past is the past, thereâs no need to stir up trouble in our present lives over something that clearly wasnâtâŠwasnât meant to be.â You said quietly instead and he frowned.
âYou canât believe we werenât meant to be, Y/N. Of course we were.â He insisted with conviction.
âThen why did we give up?â
âBad timing.â He said simply.
âWell arenât you happy right now? As things are.â
âSure.â He said, âA-are you?â
âI amâŠI mean, I know I could be happier, but Iâm getting there. And itâs not because of you or anything like that, itâs just that Seb and I are still a bit new. And we have a lot more work to do on how our relationship works, clearly.â You said with a smile and he smiled as well and reached for his own drink.
âWanna talk about it?â He asked and you nodded.
âDesperately.â You said and he smiled.
âYeah, we can talk about it then.â He assured.
âOK, you finish up here. Iâm going to get my makeup off and out of these clothes.â
âYeah love, take your time.â He assured and you smiled and hurried off.Â
Harry finished eating in silence, debating on whether he should tell Tay about coming over to your place or not. Maybe you had a point, she wouldnât freak out about it like Seb did because she hadnât seen you guys at your peak. She didnât know how it had been between you two to be worried about anything happening. And as that thought crossed his mind it then dawned on him that maybe he was also right, about the projecting thing. Maybe he was projecting this feeling of disapproval and rejection from her because he knew he was in the wrong for this. He knew that being here with the person he wholeheartedly believed was his soulmate was such a testâŠ
His own lyrics then came to mind, âmy handâs at risk, I foldâ. Heâd written that about you all those years ago. He felt then that youâd both put so much into your love, youâd both bet on it with everything you had only for you guys to realize that it wasnât panning out how you hoped. So you both just pulled out of it before you could get anymore hurt or suffer any more losses. Had folding been a mistake? That was a question that was constantly orbiting in his mind. Had you guys held on a bit longer, would things have suddenly turned around like youâd been betting they would the whole time? Had you guys been too hasty with giving up? Thatâs what it felt like to him, giving up. He hated giving up. He had felt defeated for so long
and maybe he was here because he was supposed to be. Running into you like he did, talk about the luck of the drawâŠwhat were the odds? He dwelled on that thought as he washed his dishes and dried them up. And then he picked up your can of Cutwater to weigh out how much catching up he needed to do and then did just that. He groaned in disgust at the sweet and bitter after taste and then grabbed your can again and made his way to your living room. He set them down on coasters you had at your coffee table and then went to the window to pull the thicker curtains over your window.Â
âHey, can I use the fireplace?â He shouted out and after a few seconds he heard you shout back a yes. So he quickly got a fire going, it was just a comfort thing he supposed. He loved the sound of the crackling firewood and the smell of it burning slowly over the open flame. He got it going and then moments later you came in, your feet in your slippers and your body warmed up in some yoga pants and a crewneck.
âSorry I took so long.â You apologized.
âSâalright, took the time to clean up after myself and catch up with you.â He said glancing towards your drinks and you smiled and reached for yours, so he grabbed his as well. You tucked one of your legs under you as the other dangled off of the couch. Harry just waited for you to start.
âThatâs one of the things Iâm struggling with, about Seb.â You started.
âWhat?â He asked.
âHeâs justâŠa littleâŠhelpless. Or lazy, I donât know which one.â
âHmmmâŠâ
âYeah, he didnât grow up like we did. With everyone pulling their weight, everyone thinking of how what one person does can affect the other. How, you canât always have it your way, you know?â You explained and Harry nodded. âHeâs the youngest of three, has two older sisters, so he never had to lift a finger growing up. His dadâs a pilot and his mom just stayed at home and looked after them. They supported his dreams of being a singer from the get go, like our parents but, they paid for him to come to LA and live here. They had the means so he didnât struggle at all, his only challenge was just to get a scoutâs attention. So fundamentally, we have very different values I think. Especially of what it means to work hard at something. So right now that heâs upset at me, itâs not so much to do with you as it has to do with the fact that heâs notâŠgetting his way.â You explained.
âSo heâs a brat?â Harry said with an amused smile.
âBasicallyâŠa bit.â You said with a small smile, âAnd I do love him, but I donât think itâsâŠenough toâŠto make me truly move on like you have.â You explained. He reached for your hand and you squeezed it for a second before letting go.
âDonât think Iâll ever truly move on from youâŠâ he said, âIâve been thinking a lot about when we ended things. Like what if we had waited just a little bit more and things had worked out?â
âWould you haveâŠwanted that?â
âOf course.â He said with certainty. âYeah, Iâm happy now, but Iâll always wonder if itâs just another path back to youâŠI donât know if thatâsâŠromantic or just plain obsessive.â He chuckled a bit and you smiled.
âMaybe a little bit of both.â You said and he smiled, âIâve been thinking about how fucking insane it is that we ran into each other at Westlake.â You said and he gasped.
âMe too! Been thinking that since we saw each other.â
âI never go to Westlake if I can help itâŠlike ever. So the odds of me even being there areâŠastronomical.â You said.
âReally?â
âOh yeah! Honestly, Iâve delayed recording by a day or two if itâs the only one with open slots.â You giggled with a shake of you head. Maybe it was crazy of you, but you felt like the place was cursed.Â
âThat drastic!? Why?â He asked, his face scrunched up in a confused smile and your smile faded slowly.
âUmmmâŠthatâs where I was, when youâŠcalled.â You said and his eyes softened.
âOh.â Is all he could say.
âYep, suite 2.â You said with a small, sad smile, âI feel like the place is cursed.â You told him what youâd always thought.
âAnd isnât two the number you dislike the most out of all the even numbers?â He asked and you chuckled.
âYeah, actually!â You confirmed.
âDonât you think itâs too big of a coincidence that our paths crossed for the first time in years in the same place we ended our relationship?â He asked.
âOf course, I do.â You sighed and shook your head.
âDo you think itâsâŠa sign?â He asked and your gaze softened as you looked away.
âD-donât do that, H.â You said with a frown and he scooted closer.
âHey, look at me.â He said softly and you glanced up at him, he was just inches from your face. âItâs been you the whole time, you have to know that.â He said softly.
âI feel the same butâŠbut we canâtâŠâ your voice cracked as your eyes welled up.
âWhy not?â He asked you, grabbing your face now, âWhy canât we just be together how weâre supposed to?â
âBecause at some point we werenât supposed to. We canât hurt the people in our lives like that. They donât deserve that.â You sniffled and he swallowed thickly.
âYouâre right. Youâre so right.â He sighed. A moment of weakness for himâŠwhat was he thinking.
âIt doesnât mean I donât love you, Harry.â You said and he nodded.
âI knowâŠI justâŠI canât believe I said thatâŠso ridiculous.â He sighed, feeling so ashamed for even suggesting it and now you reached for him.
âItâs not, Harry. Itâs not like I wasnât thinking it too.â You said and he squeezed your hand a bit tighter.
âYeah?â
âYeah, of course. How could I notâŠâ you said and he bit his lip.
âLook, maybe not now but what about a few years from now?â He said and your mouth dropped open a bit.
âWhat?â
âA few years from now, if we find ourselves alone again we try again.â He said and your lips turned up.
âThatâsâŠthatâs wildâŠâ
âThis whole thing has been wild! I mean, all of this was just a twist of fate. I canât let this go to waste without trying. Youâre my soul mate, I just know it.â He said and you exhaled shakily, âTempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.â He appealed and you chuckled.
âOK.â You agreed.
âYeah?â He asked happily, his heart pounding hard in his chest.
âYeah.â You whispered.Â
Neither of you were really thinking too much about it when his hand came up to your jaw and tilted it upwards and your lips met quickly. When you both realized that youâd kissed you pulled away immediately. Your eyes met as a deafening silence came over the both of you. He hadnât let you go yet and his eyes drifted down to your lips again, how he had missed the taste of them. The feeling of them against his own. He leaned back in and when your hand hooked around his neck he just smooshed his lips against yours with urgency.
You both sighed in relief at the feeling of kissing like this again. You felt like a wildfire right now, fierce and untamable. When his hands landed on your hips and pulled, you quickly got the hint and climbed into his lap. His strong arms hugged around your waist, making you feel safe and cared for in his arms, like old times. You smiled in satisfaction before his tongue licked at your bottom lip and you opened up easily for him. And when you felt your tongues meeting you moaned and slid your hands up to grab his hair to pull at it like you always would. But you were instead met with the smooth and lightly ticklish surface of his buzzcut and you started to giggle.
âForgot about that.â You grinned, before pecking his lips lightly and he laughed with you. You pulled back just a bit, your noses skimming as your gazes met. You kissed him quickly again and pulled back before he could deepen the kiss again, leaving him wanting.Â
âBabyâŠâ he whined lowly. Leaning in and you turned your head a bit, his kiss landing at the corner of your mouth.
âWe should stop before we do something worse.â you whispered and he sighed but nodded.
âYouâre right. Sorry.â He whispered and you just smiled and hugged him and he hugged you back. It was just a few moments into your embrace when you guys heard a car lock beeping from outside.
âThatâs Sebâs car.â You said, immediately recognizing the sound.
âShit.â Harry whispered as he let you go and you clambered off of his lap quickly and assumed your previous seat. âSorry for that. I promise I held off as long as I could.â He apologized and you shook your head.
âItâs alright, I wanted to. Was thinking about it the whole time as well soâŠâ You reassured him as your eyes met and he just smiled at you. Seconds later the lock on the front door chimed, indicating it had been unlocked and then Sebastian appeared, standing at the entrance of the living room to see you and Harry sitting on the couch, a comfortable distance between the two of you.
âHey.â He greeted you both.
âHey.â, âHi, Seb.â You and Harry greeted him.
âSorry for just leaving like that. I wanted to call you back after hearing your message, but I wanted tâcool off a bit. Went to the bar and I didnât realize I dropped my phone there. Luckily, someone found it and turned it in. Then I went to Jakeâs to track it since he lives close to it and when I went back to get it the screen was all wrecked.â He said holding it up.
âOh shit! Mâsorry.â, âThat sucks, mate.â You and Harry said and he chuckled.
âJust bad luck I guess.â He sighed, âSo ummm, you guys just catching up?â He asked and you nodded.
âYeah, Harryâs telling me about performing at Slane Castle.â You said and he nodded.
âDo you mind if I join you guys?â He asked.
âNot at all, mate.â Harry smiled.
âCool. Iâll get a drink too then.â Seb said with a small smile and you nodded as he headed off to the kitchen.
âThanks for putting me on the spot.â Harry whispered with a disbelieving grin and you giggled.
âAs fate would have it, you had an iconic tour this year, so you can tell the storiesâŠâ you smiled.
> Next Part >
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