#characters with self esteem problems tend to be my favorite

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I need your Kaidan opinions for the fave character game. Pwease. 😻

From the character ask game.

Oh God, I will have to change my pants by the time I'm done.

Favorite thing about them

Everything??? He's such a complex dude, and all of his complexity is shown so subtly in a way that also reflects him as a character. I love it.

But most of all, his emotional maturity, his intelligence, his self-esteem, and honestly, how incredibly badass he is.

He doesn't use Shepard as a therapist, as a fixer for his problems, as a pillar of strength to lean on. Instead, he always comes into this relationship (platonic or romantic) as an equal, and it's so refreshing to see.

Every other squadmate needs something from Shepard, and with Kaidan it's the other way around. It's Shepard who needs Kaidan, a person who will remind them that what military propaganda usually pushes as "the hardest choices a soldier can make" are actually the laziest choices.

Kaidan knows that killing is easy. Destroying is easy. But showing restraint, showing compassion, trusting someone, doing the right thing, that's hard.

Also, Kaidan is literally the only squadmate who consistently tells Shepard that they can step aside, that they don't have to do everything alone, that they have their team for a reason, and oh god, thank you Kaidan, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Least favorite thing about them

My god, he's stubborn.

And yes, Shepard needs someone like that in their close circle, but oh Kaidan, my man, my dude, my wonderful human being, you have to learn to relax, to let things go sometimes.

I think the main thing about him is that he's actually so passionate, he feels deeply, and friendship and love are so important to him, but he has trust issues, and he has standards, and he's very intelligent, and all of that runs over this deep well of emotions that he carries around.

He wants to love with abandon, but he can't. He wants to do the right thing all the time, but it's impossible. He has to learn how to compromise, how to live in the gray area.

Honestly, there are so many parallels between his and you-know-who's ark, no wonder all his fans feel so strongly about Kaidan.

Favorite line

So, so many.

"I think we're gonna need a bigger boot, Commander."

"I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better."

"Mike Hazer? Hazer the Laser? Almost didn't recognize you. ... You owe me money."

"Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had."

"You'll never find out."

I love his sarcastic ass. And I love all the glimpses into that deep well that is his heart. He's so good.

brOTP

Joker! Oh my God, that first dialog between them is fucking amazing. I feel like Joker is one of Kaidan's main sources of gossip (something Kaidan is interested in both professionally and recreationally), and Joker finds Kaidan's dry wit incredibly funny. They get along just fine because they enjoy teasing each other for sport, but other people probably misinterpret this as dislike. Same with him and Ash.

Also, Tali! Two nerds just talking about tech, weapon mods, all that good stuff. And he's obviously very sweet and protective of her. I really have to read about those two.

If we're talking about ME2 squadmates, his choice would obviously be Samara. I think he would've been fascinated by her story, her abilities, her lifestyle and would've hung out with her a lot. They're just very similar people in my mind, and for Kaidan, it would have been an excellent insight into the extremes of the morality he tends to lean towards.

In ME3, he probably hangs out a lot with James and Steve because he likes Steve and he can tolerate James most of the time. XD I think Kaidan and Steve have a lot in common. There's this careful quietness about them. They're both observers, they're both cautious and reserved. And I think Kaidan can see that there's kindness at the core of Steve's soul, and that's important to him.

And finally, mShenko, because whether they end up as a couple or not, they're friends first and foremost. Their romance is purely friends to lovers. Not mentor/mentee+friends to lovers, but friends to lovers. They're open and honest with each other, they care about each other deeply, they know how to tease each other without hurting anyone's feelings. They're equals.

OTP

mShenko. Oh god, it's so good. The slow burn, the maturity of it, how they don't hide behind unnecessary labels and the promises that would probably never be fulfilled. They're just there for each other despite everything, despite their time running out, and it's perfect.

Bonus points for being so obviously horny for each other.

nOTP

Kaidan/Ashley. I just think they work a lot better as friends.

Random headcanon

Kaidan doesn't really like to talk about his childhood, not because it was bad, but because he had a "rich kid's childhood", and things that were common for him throughout his life are actually quite unique and only come when you have a lot of money.

How can you casually mention your annual vacation aboard your family yacht in the company of an Earthborn orphan, a turian from Palaven, and a quarian who spent most of her life on a starship?

Also, both mShep and Kaidan enjoy being knocked around a little from time to time. So they do sparring sessions together, and this shit is _intense_.

Unpopular opinion

He does casual hookups while on shore leave like any other normal Marine. He finds a girl or a guy, fucks nasty, blows off steam, and returns to his duties.

Song i associate with them

Garbage - Control

Favorite picture of them

This one.

Thank you for this ask! I always love to talk about my man Kaidan.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFP, 25. Feeling pretty lost in life. After a long battle with mental illness (runs in the family, I'm surrounded by people that as of now don't want to go to therapy and keep reliving the same patterns, hurting everyone who hasn't gone through the process I've - THANK GOODNESS - gone through thanks to therapy and medication), I find myself unemployed, without friends, without money, still studying for my degree (I'm almost finished though) and for the first time seeing things so, so clearly.

I wasted most of my teenage years trying to understand what the fuck was going on in my head, battling anorexia, depression and social anxiety - and the latter still has a big impact on the way I speak to people since words don't come to my head, plus depression really wrecked my memory and it can take a whole 20 minutes for me to remember a specific name that I wanted to bring up in a conversation. I feel like I'm cooked.

I don't hate myself nor I feel like I have low self-esteem; actually, I really like who I am when given the time and emotional space to make my true self and inner creativity shine. I think I could give a lot to people but because of a general lack of understanding of common references cause I was detached from everything most of my life and I've missed them all, I tend to be perceived as cringe/weird/naive/childish and none of my conversations are surviving past the first week.

I'm really trying hard to develop my vocabulary, catching up with tv shows characters or even basic history references, but it feels like a huge toll of notions that I can't possibly internalize in such a short amount of time. These people dedicated years (consciously or not) to common knowledge, their family members had culture and raised them to be curious about the world - I'm only now waking up and looking at the world for the first time, with the intention of developing my social and verbal skills.

Basically I need to step up my life and I don't feel like it's working cause everyone can tell I'm so behind and I'm not up their standards - especially in my age range, and considering my economic state. Whenever they ask "what's your job" or "what's your favorite music genre" and I can't really give them an answer to either, I feel ashamed. I know it's not my fault, I had to survive violence and ignorance growing up and I was never given the time to discover who I am or to become a functioning member of society or even feel "safe" enough to try ANYTHING, so yeah, I do have self-compassion, I guess - but others seem like they don't, and I'm so slow when I speak, I'm so slow when I wanna come up with a joke and in a social setting everyone looks at each other like they think I'm stupid.

Is there any advice you can give me? I know I can make it. I am exactly like everyone else, I can develop the same abilities and have a good future. Am I right? Or is this just some lie I'm telling myself? Am I deluded? Will people always look down on me and avoid me altogether?

--------------------

I'm not in a position to tell you that you're lying to yourself; it's something you need to determine through honest self-reflection. There's nothing wrong with talking yourself up in order to motivate yourself to do better. It's also a good thing to try to focus more on the positive aspects of life, especially when you have a history of getting stuck in negativity or narrow-mindedness. This would certainly help you with Ne development, which should be an ongoing project.

As far as I can tell, the root of the problem you're describing isn't psychological but social. Not everything in life is under our control. In fact, studies have consistently revealed that people are far more influenced by their social environment than they care to admit. You don't get to choose which family you're born into. As a child, you have no say in which neighborhood, city, or country you live in. Yet, upbringing, community, and culture are three major factors that influence the trajectory of your life, everyone's life.

If you're unlucky, you grow up experiencing a painful mismatch of personality and environment. And it is down to luck. You shouldn't fault yourself for accidents of birth. And you also can't really fault the "environment" because it's not really a conscious entity that intentionally sets out to harm people. Although the social environment is created by the people comprising it, it's not within any given individual's power to change or control it. This is why, historically, you see people migrate far from home, in search of better environments with better opportunities.

You're young and, because of your upbringing, you didn't really get a chance to participate properly in the world. This means you haven't really experienced firsthand just how big the world can be. There is such a diversity of people, places, and culture in the world, which I take to mean that there's a place for every person. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will allow you to be your true self. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will help bring out the best in you and allow you to contribute the best of yourself.

However, that place may or may not be where you were born and raised. When you feel like you don't fit in despite all your best efforts, it might help to ask whether this is really the place you're meant to be and the people you're meant to be associated with...

I've known a lot of immigrants in my lifetime, so I have taken part in many complicated discussions about how to fit in, culturally. Some people find it easier to pick up mainstream culture as they go, looking up references and remembering them as necessary. Some people like to be more prepared and put effort into studying cultural history. I've had a lot of people ask me for help getting to know western culture's most important artists, writers, books, musicians, songs, movies, and tv shows by decade.

It used to be easier to learn cultural knowledge when media was more centralized. Nowadays, people are more siloed, ironically because of social media. Subcultures abound, appearing and disappearing with short-lived social media trends. In today's chaotic media landscape, trying to keep up with the latest cultural trends isn't really worth the energy anymore because collective memory has become so short. What's the point of remembering a meme or viral event when most people will have forgotten it a month later?

What is one to do when faced with this kind of information overload? There are two helpful strategies that go together:

(1) Narrow Your Focus

One reason people are so interested in cultural knowledge is because culture is an important avenue of self-discovery. Have you ever noticed that when they put together a boy/girl band, they find four or five guys/gals with very different and distinct personalities? They're hoping to ensure that teenage listeners will find at least one band member to relate to on a deeper level. It's a way to cover all the bases and maximize the chances of turning someone into a fan. While it sounds like a cynical and calculated ploy, it's actually an important way for teenagers to learn more about their own likes/dislikes, in contrast to others.

One could argue that the reason we have so many genres in music, movies, tv shows, and literature is because of the diversity of human beings. We're all born with a personality that we express in our own unique way, which means we all have a propensity to like and dislike certain things. As much as I've tried to get into death metal, I just can't seem to resonate with it. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I'm not out there trying to stop other people from appreciating it. We are all entitled to our personal tastes.

You're hoping that by learning more cultural knowledge, some of those factoids will eventually pay off during a social interaction. But what are the odds that they will? Pretty low because it's too random. Is it really worth the energy spent in remembering all that information only for a small portion of it to come in handy at some random time in the future? Sure, there are people who have a head for remembering trivia, but if you're not one of them, it quickly becomes a waste of energy that could be better spent elsewhere.

But wastefulness aside, cramming yourself full of factoids isn't a good strategy for two reasons. Firstly, when learning is motivated solely by a desire to obtain external rewards (e.g. approval or money), people don't tend to achieve true mastery or genuine appreciation of the subject matter. In other words, it's a shallow way of learning that doesn't help memory retention, as you're finding out. Secondly, doing something just to impress others is basically contorting yourself to conform with other people's expectations. This doesn't help you learn about yourself, quite the opposite, it takes you farther and farther away from yourself, which is why it doesn't feel right.

While we often associate identity formation with adolescence, the fact is that learning about who you really are is a lifelong task. Thus, the question isn't about when you started (early or late), it's more about whether you're using a good approach that actually gets you incrementally closer to the truth of who you really are.

If participation in culture is an important pathway for learning about oneself, what you should be doing is exploring different aspects of culture to learn about potential likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies. For example, you're not going to know whether you like horror movies until you watch a few. But once you've watched a representative sample of the genre and realize you don't like it, let it go and move onto something else.

It's almost as though you believe you have to know everything so that you can relate to anyone. I don't think this is a good or efficient socializing strategy, unless you love researching and have a great memory. You need to accept the fact that you're not going to be friends with everyone. It's okay that you're more compatible with some people more than others.

To improve your chances of social success, you have to know what you're looking for and how to find it. When you go fishing, you don't just throw a hook in the water and hope for the best, right? You have to use the right kind of bait. In the context of relationships, "bait" refers to the things that attract people to each other. One of the best and fastest ways of connecting with people is through common interests. However, this pathway won't be available to you as long as your interests aren't genuine or you haven't developed them properly.

(2) Prioritize Quality (Over Quantity)

One reason people feel easily inundated with too much information is lack of critical thinking skills. Critical thinking helps you sort through information and evaluate its quality. It's like learning how to quickly spot the rare diamonds amongst the pile of cheap shiny jewels. This also helps with the first point of narrowing your focus.

When you have a better idea of what you like or find intriguing, you open up opportunities to dig deeper and nurture a more sophisticated appreciation of the subject, to refine your tastes. A like/interest (feeling) can be transformed into an edifying intellectual pursuit (skill). But this can only happen if you value learning for its growth potential and not just for the social approval it might bring.

You seem a bit too concerned with how people judge you as a "weirdo". It could be the case that you've met some nasty people. But it could also be the case that you're projecting because you low-key feel ashamed of being "behind" in your development.

There's nothing wrong with being ignorant when it happens through no fault of your own. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing everything and we don't all have equal opportunity to learn what we need to know. It's pointless and illogical to compare yourself to others when you didn't begin life at the same starting line. And being human means having blind spots. Ignorance only becomes problematic when it is willful, that is, a person denies their ignorance and refuses to remedy it with proper learning. Given your motivation to learn, it's clear that you're not stuck in a state of willful ignorance, so there is nothing to feel ashamed about.

On occasion, people come to me asking about a psychology book they've read, only for me to break the bad news to them that it's a terrible book, full of misinformation. Should they then walk away and give up out of embarrassment? I sure hope not. I hope that they would learn to choose their learning resources more carefully.

The trouble with being a newbie is that you don't yet know enough to separate out the good stuff from the junk. To counter this, instead of becoming too reliant on one resource, communicate with a wide variety of people who seem to exhibit more knowledge than you. Eventually, you'll get a better feel for the quality of the knowledge. For example, if most experts are in general agreement, then you've probably stumbled upon trustworthy information. But when nobody can seem to agree on what the "truth" is, then be more careful.

Following from that, instead of slinking away in shame when you're caught not knowing something that seemingly "everybody should know", why not just be honest about not having had the chance to learn and welcome the person to enlighten you? Allow yourself to be humbly schooled. I can't tell you the amount of useful information I've picked up by simply letting people go on and on about their passions and interests.

Doing this could also take a lot of pressure off you, in terms of having the opportunity to: 1) sit back, relax, and listen, 2) learn and absorb information in a more natural setting, and 3) get some valuable tips about which direction to take your learning and where to find quality sources of information to speed up your learning. You might even get inspired to pursue something new and interesting.

The concept of "quality" also applies to people. Every person is a mixture of positive and negative qualities, but some people exhibit more of their negative qualities. When you meet people like that, it is fine to feel repelled and get away from them. But don't then overreact and overgeneralize and believe that everyone is bad.

If the people you're interacting with are truly judgmental jerks, it's better to find out sooner so that you don't end up in a toxic relationship. You truly like yourself? Then wear it proudly. Be open, authentic, and transparent about who you are and the struggles you've been through. Observe how willing people are to accept all of you. This should help you quickly separate out the good from the bad eggs. A good person should be:

empathetic and compassionate

willing to give you the benefit of the doubt

inclined to see and acknowledge the good in you

curious rather than judgmental

sensitive and accommodating, within reason

Every place has its good and bad people, and meeting new people is luck of the draw. When you meet bad people, there's no need to waste time with blame or anger. It's their problem, not yours. Simply walk away and keep looking for good people. And if your social environment isn't overflowing with your kind of people, you might have to migrate to a new and better environment.

Generally speaking, the process of improving yourself and your life goes a lot more smoothly when you know how to tune out noise and keep focused on your main goals.

[woodchipp]

You have a lot of thoughts about the topic, so what ideas/suggestions/other input (if any) do you have for an Omori rewrite?

Ideas? I have way too many. I've outlined some of them here and here (in a very disorganized manner), but I've thought up a lot of new ideas since then. I recommend to check the linked posts first, but I'll try my best to recap some of the ideas from the posts I've linked in this post, if you don't mind!

Long and most likely incoherent rant incoming.

1) Make Mari actually kill herself, of course. I really did like the game's initial premise of this young kid and his friends trying to deal with the loss of a beloved relative/friend before The Twist, so I'd cut The Twist and try to keep the story straightforward in that aspect. Perhaps that could've made Sunny a bit more sympathetic since he'd get to be the victim of circumstance the game evidently wanted people to see him as and allowed the story to explore Mari as a full character instead of reducing her to the typical saint for everyone to revere and cry over.

One could try to make the suicide itself the plot twist, though. Maybe the sight of Mari's hanged corpse could've been so incomprehensible to the 12-year-old Sunny he'd just pretend to have never seen it in the first place (his mind would block it out) and instead convince himself that Mari happily left for college with Hero. Maybe Sunny mentioning her to Hero or asking him about her after he comes back would make the latter pause and then change the subject of the conversation in a neat little bit of foreshadowing. Besides, a good chunk of the original game's foreshadowing for its twist already pointed to suicide, so why reinvent the wheel?

I insist on this idea in particular because it's tragic, it's horrifying and, most importantly, it's realistic - it's everything the game strove to be. Realism-induced horror is one of my favorite "genres" of horror, and I think OMORI could've had a great shot at exploiting said trope to its benefit were it not for The Twist.

The biggest problem with that sort of plotline, I think, would be Basil. His importance to the game's story relies on The Twist; without it, he has no reason to be there. I woudn't want to cut him altogether, but I can't think of an organic way to insert him into the "Mari kills herself" plotline either, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) Make Sunny and Mari's home life horrible lmao. I've already talked about it here and in the first linked post, but I'll reiterate myself - you don't grow up into a strict perfectionist or with self-esteem as low as Sunny's (the game very clearly implies Sunny had self-esteem issues even before he killed Mari) by partying at your besties' birthdays and hugging plushies together. Problems like that tend to be caused by a dysfunctional home.

Yes, the "abusive parents" trope is rather overused nowadays, but I'd still consider it somewhat of an improvement over the complete lack of information about Sunny's family pre-Mari's death. I also think it'd have been quite interesting if the game explored how the toxic home environment the two were born into would inform their personalities. That way, the recital argument would be less "why is Mari so mean 2 me 💔" and more the result of their issues boiling over.

Tying into this idea is the next one.

3) Make Black Space a recollection of Sunny's backstory a la Time's Arrow. Long story short, Time's Arrow is an episode of a show called Bojack Horseman that stands out to me due to the way the featured character's trauma is subtly conveyed without sacrificing story - the flashbacks are mostly coherent, but filtered through the character's emotional perception of the events at the time. The best example of this is a formative memory from the character's childhood, in which she sees her father callously throw her beloved toy into the fireplace before warning her to keep her emotions in check and telling her not to cry. The fear she felt at the moment infuenced her memory of the event, represented by the aforementioned fireplace becoming a wall of hellfire.

I think such an approach would've been a great fit for Black Space as well. Not only would this allow the player to get some real insight into what made Sunny the way he is, his memories being filtered through his emotions would allow the game to characterize him (e.g. the sash bars on his house's windows could be made to look like the bars of a prison cell to imply he felt trapped in his own home). This could even allow the game to show us the big argument itself!

4) Make Kel, Aubrey, Basil and Hero characters instead of props for Sunny to interact with. The story should've examined their issues too. Hero and Kel have some workings of interesting conflicts (e.g. Hero's outburst and how it affected Kel, Hero struggling with relating to the friend group only as their "dad", Kel's status as the unfavorite sibling), as do Basil (his parents and the abandonment issues stemming from them, his general relationship with his grandma) and Aubrey (see the second linked post), but none of that is elaborated on by the game in favor of focusing on Sunny and his (w)angst. Delving into their issues would've been way more interesting for me than listening to them go "man I miss my wife Tails Mari ;A;" over and over again, at least.

5) Make the game's timespan longer. 5 or 10 days instead of 3 would allow the game more room to get through the other characters' arcs before shifting focus to Sunny for the finale, I think.

6) Make Faraway Town a bit larger. Make it wackier, too. There's four streets, a church, a park and a supermarket. There's nothing to do in this town at all, which isn't good since it's where the player spends a good chunk of the plot in. The NPCs and their sidequests are equally cookie-cutter - buy a grandma her medication, tutor some kids, play hide-and-seek with the twins...

It'd have been nice if the main story's subject matter was juxtaposed with the sidequests being as batshit insane as realistically possible. "Realistic" doesn't have to mean "boring", IMO. Real life can be fun!

Tying into this idea is the next one.

7) Lock the good ending behind 100% completion of all the Faraway sidequests, probably...? It's one of my weirder ideas, and I don't know whether it'd be feasible since I'm not a game developer lol. But I think the game could've tried to make some sort of point about how Sunny managed to make headway in working on his issues only because he made the effort to socialize with people who weren't his comfortable circle of friends.

I don't know what to do with Headspace. Really. The general concept of a saccharine dream world created to avoid reality is nice on paper, but it's a big tumor on the plot - it contributes next to nothing to the player's understanding of Sunny or his friends and becomes entirely irrelevant halfway through the game. I guess I'd make it shorter?

[emblemxeno]

Welcome back! <3 What's your opinion on the second generation of Shepards? There are definitely some that could use some more development imo

Thanks for the welcome back!

(Sorry for the long post, I just kept writing and writing lol)

I agree with the sentiment to a certain extent. The second generation I feel are as well written as they could be (especially since time travel is a story tool I'm not fond of), but definitely benefitted from Future Past. Even though the Future Past kids aren't the same exact characters we have, they act as a 'what if' version so I count the development as one and the same.

However, to be a bit specific, one thing about them stood out, and it's indicative of a peculiar, unfortunate aspect of FE13's cast as a whole.

The boys are written with more taste, consistency, and sensitivity than the girls. Though outliers exist (like Lucina and Severa), the second gen girls are kind of cheap? They get more "humorous" supports (i put humorous in quotes cuz I don't find a lot of the jokes funny), and are treated less seriously as a whole.

Cynthia is like a sidekick or guinea pig more than an actual participant in the conversation sometimes (which I guess is funny in an ironic sort of way); Kjelle's supports are really vapid, offering nothing that her mom didn't, and delivered with a less entertaining speech pattern, and there's only a few things worse than being boring to me; Nah... is honestly kind of a mess, teetering between playing the mature straight man, and being the most childish and annoying creature ever (e.g. I hate a lot of Nowi's supports, but Nah's support with Laurent is singularly worse than all of them and is a contender for the worst one in the game); and F!Morgan, while her actions and dialogue are supposed to be cute, I find them to be kind of boundary pushing, alarming, or even downright mean sometimes.

Again, Lucina (some of the best supports in the game period, being varied, having great dialogue) and Severa (her self esteem issues recontextualize every support chain in an artful matter) avoid this, as does Noire for the most part (she's written pretty sincerely as comedic or melancholy when she needs to be), but the four ladies I mentioned beforehand can just be... bleh. Being honest, were it not for Future Past, Cynthia, Nah, and F!Morgan would've been several marks lower. Their peaks are lower than what Inigo, Yarne, Laurent, and Brady provide, and Owain's comedy lands a lot better than theirs as well.

Though, like I said earlier, this is indicative of a larger problem I have with Awakening's writing. Since the game was written with the prospect of being the last, the popular Japanese entertainment tropes were all thrown into the mix, and they tend to be at the expense of the women. Sumia's clumisness, Sully's experience with sexism being kind of surface level (i.e. not something that feels connected to the world of the game), Tharja being Yandere 101, Nowi in general, etc. A third of them comment on being a mess in the kitchen, they blush due to crass comments or outright weirdo requests 3x more often than the men, a good chunk of them are written to get pissed at a drop of a hat, and so on.

Hell, lots of the women in my 'Favorite' or 'Love' tiers on my list, also have 1 or 2 utterly terrible supports that really exemplify this. Lucina's support with F!Robin (when they're not parent and child) is godawful; Maribelle suffers when her subtle desire to be loved or charmed is brought to the forefront (e.g. her support with Virion is like Gray/Clair if Gray was also a noble, and her support with Gregor is very tepid and flavorless when she's usually very entertaining); Cherche and Olivia suffer when they have zero chemistry with their conversation partner; Cordelia suffers when she plays straight into the 'superior perfectionist' bit (Frederick, Donnel), using her conversation partner as a way to vent about Chrom (Frederick again, Henry, Gregor), and outright becomes a nagging mom/wife who cleans up her man with Gaius; and Panne suffers when the writers decide to ignore how her race was enslaved and hunted to near extinction in favor of other characters (often men) getting to play with her ears, cuddling with her fur, or calling her cute when she doesn't want them to.

Most damningly, F!Robin is several marks lower than her male counterpart despite being the same character in-story, because a good deal of her unique supports write her badly (Chrom, Lucina, Aversa, Yarne) or barely at all (Brady, Anna, Owain). Even supports that got a laugh out of me-which is a big accomplishment-like with Lon'qu, still aren't stellar cuz they play on her being almost a caricature; like she's "Robin but a woman (derogatory)" instead of just... a version of Robin.

[linkspooky]

YOU KNOW DC?! WOW, I'M A FAN WHAT FAVORITE HEROES AND VILLAINS DO YOU HAVE MINE IS HALEY QUINN.

So sorry, my main area of expertise is Teen Titans characters and Batman Villains.

#5 Roy Harper

Roy is just the most wholesome sunshine boy. He's positive addict representation. (It turns out anyone can become an addict even superheroes, it doesn't make you a bad or morally deficient person). He is a loving single father. He is a team leader and friend. He's got it going on.

Roy projects this bad boy image but don't believe it, he just has low self-esteem, if anything he is one of the more wholesome superheroes. Roy tends to be really caustic and likes to pick fights with people, but don't buy it he's literally the bad boy who feeds kittens when no one is looking. Ollie is like a more idealistic batman, and Roy Harper is like a more idealistic Dick Grayson.

Roy is confrontational. but he has the best of intentions he only picks fights with people if there's a problem that needs solving. Also, the person he fights the most is Dick Grayson, and he needs someone to give him a kick in the pants every once in awhile.

#4 Donna Troy

Donna is actually one of the most nuanced comic book characters of all time, and it has nothing to do with her backstory so don't even bring that up. "She's just kind of plain and boring..." that's it you've got it, you've nailed the essence of Donna.

Donna's the one sort of normal person around a bunch of extreme personalities, so all of her friends use her as a free friend therapist, while completely ignoring Donna's own issues. Donna is the single mom of several traumatized teenagers except she's the same age as them.

Donna has this image among her friends as the perfect overachiever, but she's actually just as much of a mess as everyone else. One time Dick leaves Donna in charge of the titans and the team totally falls apart because Donna CANNOT lead. She tries to make Jason the leader of the team and he was like twelve at the time. Her entire personal life is a wreck, look up what happens to Donna Troy it's one of the saddest things in comic books. She's actually one of the most tragic characters, which makes her enduring desire to help her friends and take care of people a really strong character trait because it's continually tested by the tragedy in her life.

#3 Eddie Bloomberg

Every Teen Titans run gives me a new favorite character and Eddie was that for the Geoff Johns run. Seeing as my favorite hero of all time is Spiderman, there is nothing better than a normal, powerless teenager, trying to become a superhero because they want to help others.

Eddie's life is just very melancholy and lonely, he becomes so desperate to be a teen titans he literally seels his soul for the chance of being a hero. He almost cut his life even shorter, because being a hero for a few years seemed better to him than living as a normal person for a much longer life. Eddie works as a character because despite his abysmally low self esteem he tries to help people, and what makes him a hero is not his powers but who he himself is. Even after losing his powers the Titans need him around because he is the heart of the team.

#2 Rose Wilson

Terra is my favorite DC character of all time, and Rose is basically Terra if Terra actually lived. Rose and Eddie made the Geoff Johns run enjoyable for me, there's something deeply compelling about Rose's search for a family and also her desire to define herself as her own person.

If you are connected to Slade Wilson in any way he will just destroy your own life, so it is powerful to watch Joey and Rose connect as siblings outside of Slade, and also Rose keep trying to be a hero on the Teen Titans when no one on the team trusts her. Even when she leaves it's not because she was a bad person, it's because the whole team rejected her and even on her own Rose was still trying to figure out what the right thing to do was and how to live her life.

#1 Harley Quinn

Harley's just one of the most characters ever. Characters are their flaws and Harley has a whole lot of them, she's hurt a lot of people, she enabled a man to hurt so many more, she crossed a line as a psychiatrist, she's selfish enough that she'll terrorize gotham in the pursuit of love.

YET! She remains such a sympathetic character at her core. Not only because of the way the joker treats her, but because no matter much Harley tries to change herself in pursuit of being loved by someone else, Harleen was a doctor. Hurting people is against her nature. THe more people she hurts, the more she is hurt. She's like a living example of the cycle of abuse, she is a victim and she victimizes others, and yet there's always still that chance of recovery for her.

Harley's also just so unique. Her world view is so distorted. Her priorities are all messed up. She doesn't really have a system of morality so much as "If I do this, I will be loved...." and because of that she ends up doing some really bad things. Yet, there's something deeply relatable and identifiable of a person who just wants to be love.

She's incredibly emotionally complex. One unique thing about Harley is she kind of changes her entire personality depending on who she's around, and yet she's still Harley. Harley's just kind of this attention hungry, love seeking person, desperate to stand out, easy to get along with, easy to make friends. She's like this really wholesome while at the same time being a really toxic person, and all of those qualities make a volatile mix that just explodes into the funnest person ever.

[riggerbison]

can you share more of your theories about why some home school characters were sent there?

so i don't tend to like to share theories because i know i will come off insane and that's why i share them with liz because he already knows this about me

so lets start with maki...and i know you're like but she wasn't sent there, she chose to go. did she tho? what we know about home school is that the unwanted children are sent there by their abusive/neglectful parents. which means that run had to be there by their father. i know you're like "he could have been a scholarship kid" and while sure maybe he was, their house just looked a little big from what we could see of it so i am going with that they were in fact rich before maki was given to the orphanage (which is a whole other board, i got going on but mostly that's just questions). i'm more than 100% sure that master amin knows exactly who maki is and i would even bet two nickels that he set it up for her to come to home school when it was her turn. we know amin told run to kill someone, could have very well been his own father. as it was clear that run had already been at home school at the point that his dad died...since like why else would he warn maki against it. you know warn her in the same way amin warned the children not to go into the forest because it's dangerous.....and yet they did anyway, just as she came to home school anyway as well.

my boy nai...now i'm crossing my fingers that the reason he was sent there is that his father has that toxic masculinity problem and thinks that nai just isn't "man" enough to handle their family name. as it's something mentions about their family needing to be handle pressure and well...nai doesn't handle that well. if anything he questions himself a lot and is always kind of surprised when people have faith in him. which, could be because for years his father has lowered his self-esteem. now my one fear is that nai also shows some stalker-like traits. i know we all want to clap our hands about how nai sticks up for white but....like that's also something stalkers can do as well. he's almost white-knighting himself into her heart and it's kind of weird that he showed up in the hall with her and jean. could be "right place, right time" but still worrisome. the other thing is copycatting behavior of tibet. again these things could be linked to his low self-esteem but again like everyone else he might need some therapy.

jingjai....my pot who calls the kettle black. i literally had to laugh when she admitted that she was fake because yeah girl, so why are you so mad at phleng? they both are two people who manipulate others and jingjai tends to do hers through sexual seduction. which, makes me a little afraid as to what got her sent to home school since she has a clear problem with seeing she has more to offer than just her body. also there is the whole fact that she mentions her dad living alone...yet her mom was the one who was there at the "exam". like either she is lying or her mom's use of "relief" of jingjai being accepted has something to do with the situation between her parents.

mek & mork...they need a get-along t-shirt...and so do their parents. if they could have sat further away from each other on that couch during the exam and been in the same frame, i'm sure they would have. they're likely going through a divorce, already have gone through one, or really in the desperate need of one. as a child of two divorces it can be very traumatic especially if their parents are not only pitting the twins against each other but using the kids against the other parent. which is what i wonder the whole your dad and your mom was about. maybe each parent has a favorite. them fighting could be exactly what got them sent to home school but i'm gathering we'll get to find out next ep as it did seem like they were slugging it out in the previews.

fuiji...now i know her dad is a woman-hater but i definitely think there's more to her story. as she is so quick to call everyone out, tell on them, and she has such a cancel culture mentality. her wording to phleng was specifically worrisome. and maybe it was that she just kept calling her dad out on his bullshit (as she should) but there's also the possibility that she ran into some other kind of trouble at school where she called someone else out. to be honest, if anyone is gonna stab the group in the back, i would put my money on her.

my happy but not so happy biw...no one smiles that much and isn't hiding so much pain. there's definitely something up with the way she's meant to appear so innocent with the bows and the pigtails and it's terrible concerning paired with her dad's words of wanting to hide her from the bad stuff in the world. pairing that with a shot of her in the trailer of what looks like her flashback, i feel like her backstory will most certainly need a tw.

jean..so i remember when liz and i were watching the first two eps and they were like "what even is the other guy's name?" and that says a lot about jean. he kind of keeps himself hidden behind hugo (hilarious when you compare heights) and really until the whole offer of paying the money he hadn't made a whole lot of waves. it's why if i had to put my money on someone being sent by a homophobic parent it's probably jean. and it very much ties into what his dad said about how home school "could change his son". that's homophobic slang for make him straight. and he also pulls a very vegas theerapanyakul move of having the lighter for hugo's cigarettes.

now as for hugo....he's my engima. i really couldn't gather to guess what got him sent to home school unless his dad was down right serious about wanting him to be a better person. which if that's the case then maybe it wasn't trauma at home that made him that way? it's obvious he has little dog syndrome and has to make himself appear bigger than he is. he could have very well been bullied when he was younger. not a reason to be a dick...but alas it happens.

oh and tibet...something fishy going on there too. because even if he is a scholarship kid...his mom would have had to sign all the same paper work to, right?

as i said these are just theories and we're only four episodes in. i am definitely curious to see how it all unfolds. and how well they'll stick together as a group. and also what's run deal is....(another board..yes i have many).

anyways if you read all this you deserve my love 💛

[tortoisesshells]

Thank you, @aloveforjaneausten, for the kind tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

79, but a pretty significant number are little ficlets with less than 300 words.

2. What's your total A03 words count?

378,686.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mercy Street, 1899, Pirates of the Caribbean, Timeless, MCU, Turn: Washington's Spies, Band of Brothers, Fallout series, the Blackwell series, Agatha Christie's Poirot, apparently.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Customs and Duties (PotC); Treason Crackling in Your Blood (MCU); Maybe Everything That Dies (MCU); the vain title take Of lord of thee, and arbiter of war (PotC); Suffer A Sea Change (PotC).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do. As others more astute than me have observed, it's not just the gratitude that someone told me how they felt about something I wrote, but because I love hearing about how people are engaging with the source work in the first place. Community, I suppose.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think nearly every fic I've written ends at least somewhat unhappily, or leaves the door wide open to future problems. Maybe glazed already the eye, yet life struggles hard on the basis of it ending at the absolute nadir of Henry Hopkins' self-esteem and over-arching moral quandary in-show? Or maybe it's just my favorite ending. Who can say?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I can't think of a fic I've written with an unambiguously happy ending, to be honest - probably (people like me) don't live to feel? sure, the main characters are walking off stab wounds/concussions, but that's a day in the life for that universe.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Here? No. In a past life (high school fic writing account)? Yes. I don't remember the fic, but I remember the comment with pretty exact clarity.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Either I'm ludicrously repressed, or I'm the most interested in characters who are ludicrously repressed, or both.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes, and I think the one that's at least, on its face, the wackiest, is probably the ongoing Mercy Street/Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yeah! Shout-out to the Mansion House Murder Party. <3

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can't really say I've got one (even 'ships that I'm very interested in, I'm always willing to split up for the sake of exploring something else in their characters?) - though I suppose I'd probably refuse to read any fic that broke up Catherine Moreland and Henry Tilney, maybe. If that's anything.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I hate to say Customs, because I'm so close that I can taste it and I have a good outline to the end, but - I've sort of lost faith in sticking the ending, and it really does feel like part of the ending requires Nellie to do something a little out of character. So -?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Details. I'm good with details.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

No one's ever accused me of writing a fast-moving fic. I know my pacing tends towards the glacial.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn't - I'd have to trouble a native speaker, because even the languages I know enough to string a sentence or several together in will seem, well. Like a non-native speaker wrote them. Plus - hmm. I'd be providing a translation back into English anyway - I'd feel like I was just showing off, in a way. Badly. And I do enough peacocking with historical trivia that I ought to keep the posturing to a minimum elsewhere.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

There's a composition notebook in a landfill somewhere with a handwritten-in-gel-pen Hornblower fanfic that never saw the light of internet publication.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I hate to have the same answer every time, but - Suffer a Sea Change. It's the cleanest-paced, least insufferable thing I've ever written.

Tagging: @shoshiwrites, @mercurygray, @jomiddlemarch, @sagiow, @theonlyredcar, & anyone else who wants!

[misscammiedawn]

50 Days of HypnoKink - Day 33: Amnesia Play

Alignment: 50-50 so long as my partner is naturally gifted at it or already trained to do it.

I am good at amnesia play. REAL good. I actually had to train myself out of spontaneous PHA at a point of my life. The only reason I assumed hypnosis even worked back then is that I woke up at the awakener part of a file and reacted okay to my triggers (or my partner of the time would just outright tell me how I reacted).

I have no advice for how to do PHA. Spontaneous or planned. I am attempting to teach my boyfriend and I don't even have the slightest clue on how to start.

I think I sometimes forget that in terms of practical experience, I've only been hypnotizing people for about 2 years and my only two hypnotees prior to him have been remarkably well trained and experienced people who have been doing this regularly for over ten years.

Not that the indomitable and unstoppable Miss Dawn has self-esteem or ego problems. Quite the opposite, in fact. I just note that ego and confidence alone do have their limits.

Still. In my most recent story I described it like this:

Post-hypnotic amnesia is different from the homegrown natural kind. For induced amnesia it is lovingly placing a treat in the cookie jar above the fridge and knowing you could collect it at any time but it will be better to wait until you are given permission to enjoy it. Every time the mind goes hunting for that memory there’s a soft and delicate reminder that it’s better to keep waiting, that it’s going to be more fun to let those thoughts drift away.

That is how it tends to be for me. I can scratch at a thing but I know that pulling that thread will not be nice for me so I push my mind away from doing it. It happens automatically. Most of the time I don't even notice that there's anything to pull.

An important part of my flavor of this is The Memories Are Always Restored.

I have enough issues with derealization and unreality without making things worse for myself on purpose. "You'll know it's a hypnotic compulsion" and the good old "Recall" trigger are important to me.

But gosh it opens up so many doors.

I just wanna share one that brings me such joy. It's called the Susan Snap. Named for my favorite fictional character, Susan Sto Helit from Discworld, in Thief of Time she uses snaps to freeze time and in one scene she uses THE VOICE to command her boss to let her go on leave to save the world.

Daja uses a snap to "freeze time" and then tells me the suggestion and returns time to normal with me now compelled to unknowingly follow the new bit of programming.

It took a while before I got good at "blipping" without noticing it but now she can get me mid-sentence and I don't even notice. Then she can just set me off.

This one hasn't happened, but is a good example of what we do here. One of the Oikos cats is often on camera and I can tend to talk to her while we are on call.

So a suggestion could be. "Every time you say the cats name you get a little bit sleepier until you drop"

and I wouldn't realize it happened.

Not until I hear "RECALL" anyway.

It's so fun and I often have a delightful reaction.

---

Day 32: Kinesthetic Inductions

FULL SCHEDULE MASTER POST

Day 34: Stage Hypnosis

[killdeercheer]

Studio Ghibli Reviews: Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Originally the first in a series of novels by Diana Wynne Jones (starting 1986), Howl's Moving Castle is said to have been one of those film ideas that struck Hayao Miyazaki almost spontaneously. He read the novel and was immediately pondering on how the titular castle actually moved; this was not described in the book. Throw in a little bit of his "great deal of rage" about the US-Iraq War and the usual Ghibli messaging about enjoying the one life you have, and thus Howl's Moving Castle was born. And we are all the better for it.

Plot: Set in and around the fictional European-inspired city of Ingary, we meet Sophie Hatter, a young hat-maker who lacks self-esteem. One day, she briefly encounters the infamous wizard Howl Pendragon. This is especially prominent when she's cursed by the Witch of the Waste - who is tracking Howl - to become an elderly woman. To try to break her curse, she manages to find Howl and becomes caught in his ever-growing web of magic and mayhem. Ingary is at war with another nation over a missing prince and Howl is seemingly duty-bound to serve his country, but chooses instead to hide in his castle and live a rather irresponsible life. Now Sophie must not only end her curse but provide the dramatic wizard Howl with something worth fighting for.

- this review will be mainly spoiler-free -

This is my 3rd favorite of the Ghibli films, but I've since learned that Howl's Moving Castle is somewhat divisive among fans of the studio. It is well-loved and highly-regarded, but compared to the rest of Miyazaki's output, it is frequently ranked as one of the lowest. Granted, this is usually not meant to say that the film is bad (I don't think anyone has seriously argued that), but rather that when it comes to the story-structure and pacing, Howl's Moving Castle falls flat in certain respects. The movie supposedly "starts out strong" but then peters out until the very end when things are wrapped up rather suddenly. I will concede that - if I'm looking at this as objectively as possible - I can understand where these sentiments are coming from. However, as this is my personal review, I will say that I don't see this as a problem for me. Ghibli films tend to meander and "lose their plot focus" at points, but that's part of their charm for me. I love these films for their plots, but I also love them for their characters, scenery, world-building, and music. And Howl's Moving Castle is one of the best in these respects.

It's a rather mature film for its subject matter. The main leads, Sophie and Howl, are (at least according to the book, so your mileage may vary) 18 and 26, respectively. They're adults and their concerns are adult as well: running a hatting business and serving under royalty as a soldier when needed. But that's not to say that the film doesn't know how to have fun! On the contrary, once Sophie enters the moving castle and meets Howl and his makeshift family, an air of whimsy enters the picture. And it's between these two extremes of adult-oriented wartime-drama and magical enchantments of childlike wonder that the film juggles quite well.

This is helped by the - once again - gorgeous animation. Much of the film is traditionally animated with a fine eye for detail in everything from the women's dresses to the obligatory flying machines. Howl's castle is, in contrast, primarily computer-generated but not in the way you'd expect where the whole thing is a rendered model. In fact, the castle consists of separated-painted pieces that were translated into CG-polygons which could be moved altogether into one complex structure. It's an... atypical style from what I'm used to, but I think it works very well and matches the overall animation of the film without looking out of place or aging-poorly (as so many animated films over the 90s and 2000s have suffered). I also really enjoy the European-imagery of Ingary's towns and technology: it's all very early-19th Century and yet feels like its own parallel-universe where we figured out flight early and just ran with it.

The cast in this movie is fairly large. Besides our two leads, we get a substantial supporting cast and they are all just wonderful. Markl is Howl's young-assistant, an orphan who utilizes magic to disguise himself so as to help customers without giving away his identity. He's bratty and has a heart-of-gold. Calcifer is a sentient fire demon (well, that's not really true but no spoilers hehe) who's an adorable wise-ass that should be more threatening than he actually is. There's a living but mute scarecrow whose named Turnip Head. He's adorable and sweet and is also not technically a scarecrow but again spoilers ;). I've already mentioned the Witch of the Waste, who is dastardly and voluptuous. She functions as an antagonist who wields powerful magic but also has deep secrets that show us that this wicket side of her is not all she truly is. We also meet Sophie's family (her mother and sister) but while they don't have a lot of screen time, they leave a fair impression. There are other characters but for the sake of keeping the story a surprise for new viewers, I'll leave them be for now.

I find Sophie and Howl to be wonderfully complex characters even within the complex, weaving plot threads. Sophie is as kind as possible to everyone she meets and exerts an air of confidence when it comes to the work she does - whether it be making hats or cleaning up a wizard's messy castle. This is in stark contrast to her lack of confidence regarding her life goals and personal appearance. A running theme throughout the film is Sophie's battle to appreciate her own beauty and skills; this is reflected in the spell that's cast on her by the Witch of the Waste, in which her age gets progressively more old the more she loses her self-worth. But even as a 90-year-old woman, Sophie brings out the best in everyone around her, and remains one of the best positive-representations of the elderly in animation (this is a common occurrence in Ghibli films, much to my delight).

Howl Pendragon... oh goodness me, Howl Pendragon. Where do I even begin? Howl is a mess. He's a powerful wizard who can shape-shift and weave dramatic spells but only uses these powers for himself and his immediate companions. He is lazy, sloppy, and a drama-king. This is exemplified in an infamous scene, where we find Howl fretting and fuming on the verge of despair when his blond-hair is accidentally dyed another color. "I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful." Howl, sweetie, you're beautiful no matter what hair color you have. Okay, focus... focus. What makes Howl such a great character is that, when Sophie is thrown into the mix, she becomes a brilliant foil to the wizard, and we start to see him, slowly, come around to the idea of helping others before himself and finding purpose in life. It's very sweet and something special for an animation studio where the majority of its output places little emphasis on romantic relationships.

... Howl is also extremely sexy and no I will not be taking questions.

As mentioned beforehand, the story does tend to wind around between two plots rather haphazardly. There's the conflict with the war between the two nations, and then there's the journey of Sophie in Howl's castle where she has to try to break the curse, and the two do converge by the last-third of the film. Howl is a wizard who chooses to work for himself, despite taking an oath to fight for his country, and detests the "filthy murderers" from each of the warring nations for their careless bombing of civilians. Right away, Miyazaki's thoughts about the first Iraq War are out on full display, which was something he was vocal about at the time (even choosing not to visit the US for his Oscar award of Spirited Away), and was an element not played up much in the original book. Given how much time has passed since the end of that war and the seemingly irreparable legacy it has left on recent history, I can't help but still find the messaging still relevant today. Unless you're a blind-nationalist, I think it's safe to say that barely anyone looks positively on what happened. Good on Miyazaki.

The English dub is very well-done and features some of my favorite voice-work for an American Ghibli release (which is hard enough to rank, I'm afraid. A lot of care has been put into these dubs). Emily Mortimer and the late Jean Simmons (no not that one) play Sophie as a young and old woman, respectively. Mortimer's soft-spoken voice perfectly matches the character's personality, while Simmons gives the elderly-version a charm and wit that retains the youthful spirit of the young Sophie. Christian Bale voices Howl and oof my word it is so deep and mysterious and sexy and I need to stop before I go overboard. Fresh-off the production of Monster's Inc., we have Billy "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" Crystal as Calcifer who is just so wonderful and hilarious and really provides some great comic relief. A young Josh Hutcherson is Markl who is appropriately bratty without over-doing it. What is it with Ghibli films and doing child-voiceovers so well?? The Witch of the Waste is given a brilliant and flair performance by the late Lauren Bacall who was apparently one of the most beloved of 20th Century film actors. Great for her! Thanks to her role in the film, I cannot help but always say "A chair! It's mine!" in her husky voice whenever I need to sit down.

Before I close out, I need to say a little something about the music. Once again, Joe Hisaishi brings to the table a setting-and-theme-appropriate score to Howl's Moving Castle. "The Merry-Go-Round of Life" is fittingly whimsical and immediately places you into the world of the film. We also get a stirring end credits song "The Promise of the World" performed by Youmi Kimura that is so sweet and never fails to choke me up a bit.

Howl's Moving Castle is one of those films that I will never tire of watching. If for some reason its showing somewhere, I will without hesitation sit down and enjoy it all over again. I adore the cast, I adore the setting, and I adore the craziness of the plot. Alongside Princess Mononoke (and a few others), it is one of the more adult-oriented of Ghibli films, but I don't believe this should detract younger viewers from enjoying or gaining something from it too. The messages about the folly of war, learning to help others, and gaining self-courage despite the tricks of your brain are valuable ones to learn. What better way to do it than aboard a magic, moving castle?!

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

I AM HERE FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY!!! FIRST OFF I LOVED EVERYTHING ABT THIS STORY!!!!

the actual enemies (or at least very bitter rivals) to lovers, the drama, the chois showing up all of a sudden like what???? it was better than i could have expected

i think this yn is my fave yn so far. which is saying a lot but she felt so real!! her struggles with her self-esteem and learning that she's nore than what her family told her to be and that she deserves to be loved and cherishes both platonically and romantically <333

AND I HAD SMTH ELSE TO SAY ABT ONE CHAPTER IN PARTICULAR BUT I! CAN'T! REMEMBER!!!

anyways i think i said pretty much all i needed to say in the tags but i loved this smau sm <3 fave character obviously our dear ynwon shipper. or beomgyu. actually it's probs beomgyu i love him <33

a final question: why did you decide to add beomgyu, yeonjun and soobin? did you have it planned from the start, like them specifically? and who was YOUR favorite character??

i'll be reading your new(ish) ynwon au probably not tomorrow but the day after bc i'm gonna have a busy day (9h & a half of classes and then i'm going to a 2010 pop themed party! fun!!)

as always, have a good night and i hope you're doing ok <3 if you're ever not, you can always talk to me <33

ITS ME, HI IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME!! *ANTI HERO BEING MY ANTHEM SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME*

Moving on from that, I'm glad you loved the story so much. It's always wonderful to know that readers love what I write. Like yeah I mainly wrote for myself but the praise tho I feel it's unneeded (I'm always gonna be finding things I couldve done better 😂).

Honestly this story really took a life of its own. I say that with every smau tbh, I start with one idea and then by the end it's a different but still somehow similar idea that I started it 😂.

I'm so glad this YN is ur fave. She's struggling so much even if everything was okay cause her inner demons were always there, they didn't disappear and her learning to lean on those around her, accept that she is loved and cared for was very important to me.

I also was very cautious in that I didn't villainize YN for these very real feelings that everyone feels.

God knows I've been through moments of self hatred and I wanted to show that it's never as bad as you think. You might think your all alone but there is always someone there for you to talk to. I know that YN frustrated readers when she let her insecurities get in the way of her happiness but that is a reality that sometimes you get so in your head that you think what your doing is best when it isn't.

Sorry went on a whole tangent abt this YN 😂😅.

I loved your reactions in the tags, pls don't stop them, they were the best and I need them for every story now 😂😂.

Beomgyu was his chaotic self and I loved him for it 😂. @nyxtwixx being your fave character cracks me up honestly.

Oooh good question. I don't necessarily plan my smaus tbh. I just have the rough idea then it's chapter by chapter. Which if you've noticed is why chapter titles tend to change quite a bit cause I change my mind or this one idea doesn't work but this other idea for the next chapter works better.

I love txt and Soobin is my bias so I was always going to include him. Yeonjun and Beomgyu kinda just came along too. The idea to have them be triplets came and I ran with it. All three of them were gonna cause more chaos and strife with there being actual feelings still there with Sooyn but I decided against that after considering how much YN is dealing with low self esteem and self hatred. In the end I love the bond they have 🫶🏼🫶🏼.

If I can give another rec, I suggest reading Peace that's my other HP au but it's Jay this time and it's Gossip Girl meets Harry Potter. (I just wanna know your views on that 😂).

Take your time, the new Jungwon fic will be there just a word of warning, I'm sorry if Hyunjin is your bias... That's about all the spoiler I'll give you in regards to that smau.

Don't get burned out with so much school!! And have fun at that party sounds like it'll be a great time!!.

Same goes to you, if you ever want to vent or just chat, I'm here 🫶🏼🫰🏼.

[andforlovessake]

✿ My Original Characters ✿

A/N: Mention of low-self esteem and toxic relationships.

Whitney Eve Hart:

is the youngest sister of Remi and Celia.

Has telekinesis powers (will go more into lore eventually lol). She can only use them for a short amount of time as it uses a lot of energy and she'll usually get nosebleeds afterwards.

Nerdy and shy.

Is a college student and has had a tough time navigating her powers while in school, thus she mainly keeps to herself besides her classes.

Close friends with Ben and Sallie Ann.

Has pretty bad anxiety and is a perfectionist, leading her to neglect her own needs to the dismay of Kai (who has a hard time explaining how he cares about her).

Looks up to her sisters a lot and tries not to worry them with her bad eating and sleeping habits.

Scared of dogs, which poses a problem with Axel :( (even though he is a really sweet doggy to her).

Remi Marie Hart:

Is the oldest of Whitney and Celia.

Is emo.

Is more quiet and observant and doesn't like standing out. Yet, she would defend her sisters unquestionably, including making a scene.

Picked up the bad habit of smoking when she is stressed out, but has been trying to quit.

Tends to zone out with her headphones on, making others have to get her attention often.

Sometimes worries about not being a good enough big sister, but Whitney and Celia reassure her :')

Loves reading and writing poetry! Sometimes she'll even write songs. Moreover, Celia loves reading over her music and helping her along the way. Celia will even sing her songs :D

Is overall very chill and nice to be around.

Is really good at swimming and even taught Celia.

Celia Bianca Hart:

Is the second oldest.

Outgoing and loves making new friends.

Loves singing and playing the piano! She really enjoys Classical music and often goes on passionate tangents about music theory and how it relates to her favorite artists. Her sisters don't understand anything she's saying, but they support and listen to her anyway :)

She works at a local record store and often brings home music with the money she earns.

Is the most self-assured out of the three.

Has ADHD and can sometimes talk over or interrupt people so that she can get all her ideas out and not forget them. She doesn't mean to, but sometimes this can hinder her relationships with new people.

Savannah Jo Crawford:

Has rapid cell regeneration, which can also transfer to others by their healing wounds. But, if she is struck in the brain, she is unable to use her powers.

Is cousins with the sisters.

Lives with her two younger siblings named Clare and Bo and her dad.

Tends to not trust others due to the abuse and bullying that she had been subject to due to her powers (some kids from her school find out about it and intentionally hurt her).

Is very protective over the sisters, regardless of if she is Whitney's age (and is not afraid to kick some ass).

Loves long, late-night drives.

Genevieve Claire Hill

Was Kai's girlfriend during high school, is now his ex.

Was infatuated with Kai to the point that she manipulated him into abandoning the few people that were closest to him. Eventually, he got away from her.

Would go out of her way to do things for others to show that she is a "good" person, but could not handle any criticism.

Wants someone to love her, but express it in a negative way.

Is quite good at art and even designed some of Kai's tattoos that he now regrets, specifically the rose skull on his forearm. He mostly just doesn't talk about the meaning behind it.

After they broke up, she just kinda disappeared and he didn't know what happened to her.

In reality, she started working on herself.

[ouchmaster6000]

I'm sorry but in regards to Subaru, are we watching the same show?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised - a lot of people don't give enough Subaru credit or completely mischaracterize him. Just look at Noralie's absolute shit stain of a video on the subject.

But saying Subaru "Does nothing for the longest time" is ridiculous cause the guy has been solving all the problems in the series since the beginning. He tries to help Emilia get her insignia back, and figure out the curse that kills either him or Rem (depending on the loop.), is the deciding factor in defeating both the whale and Petelgeuse etc.

Granted, Subaru is a very reactive protagonist, in that his actions are largely reactive to the world around him, but he is no means a passive one. He does not just sit around and do nothing.

(I'll admit him not managing to learn any new abilities until the last minute, to the point it feels like a deus ex Machina is a problem, but that's more of a story problem than a character one.)

As for him treating the other girls poorly or acting entitled, almost all of that is during the first 2/3rds of season one, and he's gone though a huge amount of character development since then.

Plus there are mitigating circumstances that explain why Subaru acts the way he does.

Part of is the meta aspect of the series. A huge part of Subaru's cringiness and entitlement in the early part of the story comes from the fact that he's a person who has watched and is fan of generic isekai stories stuck in a deconstruction of an isekai story. So of course he's going to immediately assume he's now gonna immediately get cool powers and a cute girlfriend. That's what usually happens in those stories. It takes him dying horribly over and over again and Emilia initially rejecting him for him to realize this isn't like those stories and trying to achieve what he wants will require a huge amount of suffering, patience, effort and trial and error on his part.

(there's also zero indication that Subaru would behave this way normally. Before being isekaied, he was a shut in with low self esteem who always lived in his father's shadow.)

In addition to this is the fact that his return by death ability means he straight has memories that others don't. He remembers spending a whole day with her with her, searching for her insignia getting to know her, bonding with her, that she does not. Of course he's gonna come across as entitled and possessive from her perspective.

This can also be contrasted with his less than positive memories of the other people in the main cast: Rem, though she is still my favorite character, and ship her and Subaru a bunch, DID torture and kill him in previous loops, just because she was suspicious of the he smelled. Garfiel and Puck have also killed him. Otto shoved him out of the cart and left him for dead to save himself. Ram tried to kill him when she mistakenly thought he was responsible for Rems death.

Add to this Ram and Beatrice constantly insulting him (plus Beatrice physically attacking him) and all the shit Roswaal has pulled, Emilia is pretty much the only person in his immediate social circle who has been consistently kind to the poor kid since day one. No wonder he's fixated on her.

Honestly, it's amazing just how forgiving he is of everyone despite all horrible stuff they've done to him previous loops. Or how friendly he is towards Ram and Beatrice despite treating him badly in general. As someone who tends to hold grudges, I seriously don't think I'd be capable doing the same.

Hell, a good chunk of the second arc is trying to save Rem, the very person who tortured and killed him. Remember, as far as he knew at that point, the ONLY bad thing that would happen if he didn't stay was Rem gets cursed and died. And the loop restarts BEFORE Roswaal offers him a reward for helping Emilia. There was nothing stopping him from just asking for a bunch of money that time and leaving Rem to her fate.

He only ever considers running away and abandoning everyone when he's at his absolute lowest, and all it takes is a speech from Rem to convince him otherwise.

Seriously, to act like he's a terrible person cause he had an emotional breakdown and yelled at Emilia one time is idiotic.

Insufferable protagonists' love interests

this might be upsetting for some of you. I haven't watched mushoku tensei or heaven's lost property, just went off other peoples opinions.

do you want explanations

subaru - spineless in battle and an emotionally abusive boyfriend kazuya - dates 5 women at once and pisses himself when any of them even hug him shouya - bullied her for her disability when they were kids rudeus - pervert who creeps on children apparently tomoki - pervert apparently eren - whines all the time and tells mikasa he hates her and makes her feel like it's her fault that [redacted] happened

now vote ^_^

[dorksmithery]

Inktober Day 11: Cruel

I think Midorikawa is one of my favorite simply because he struggles with self worth, and inferiority. He's very much human and I can admire the resolution to break away from his past into a brighter future.

We are very often our own worst enemy and it's the venomous voices in our heads that speak the sharpest and cruelest words. We often look at the ugly parts in ourselves and focus on that, and it slowly drives us insane. Humans are fragile and delicate creatures and we need to remember that we make mistakes and that there is only so much we can do. We aren't perfect, and we'll never be. That's okay. Not being perfect is nothing to be ashamed of

If you are struggling with these voices, remember that you aren't alone and that bottling everything up won't help. Talk to someone you trust and open up to them. If anything, verbalize your stress, anxiety, thoughts, whatever is haunting you.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

one of my pet peeves for modern aus is the ones where they make izzy ed's best friend or longtime friend because if ed's gonna have one... its jack. it's literally supported by canon. like put izzy and jack next to the revenge crew and your answer for who fits in better is jack, whose only crimes in the show were trying to pull ed away from stede and committing seagull murder (all of which to save ed in a plan IZZY made) im so salty about all the hate jack gets in fics

Oh for sure. My least favoriate thing ever is when people put Izzy in another character's position. Jack is Ed's buddy at the very least. Izzy is just a coworker. Jack is who Ed would choose to hang out with 100% of the time if his options are Jack or Izzy. Also if you're gonna give Ed a best friend who is antagonistic to his new boyfriend, Stede and Jack being mean to each other is so much more fun in my personal opinion because Stede is mean to Izzy and Izzy's head explodes and steam starts coming out of his ears like he's in a cartoon and he yells something incoherent, where as Jack and Stede can have a bitchy little back and fourth that leaves Jack crying for sympathy and Stede's self esteem buried six feet under. It truly is the dynamic ever.

I don't usually have a problem with Jack hate in fics actually because jack is hateable and there often needs to be a villain, and in Our Flag so far the roster of villains has been Izzy, Jack, and the interchangeable badminton twins. Maybe the rich french fuckers but I don't want to give them that much credit tbh. so you know he's one of three and a half bad guys so I get it. However! there is one trope that frustrates me, and I think the main reason that it frustrates me is because its a trope that I hate with all of my guts and is pernicious in the calicobeard tag and that is the idea that Ed and Jack's relationship was non-consentual. There are tons of reasons to hate him, you don't have to turn him into a rapist. That's my pet peeve and my line. Otherwise yeah he's a villain, good. I like it when he causes problems. It's my favorite thing.

That being said I do think he's the most easily rehabilitated villain out of every villain in ofmd (I'm only counting Nigel, Chauncey, Izzy, and Jack as villains.) Simply because he's a pirate that we frankly don't actually know that much about. We don't even know why he's doing this. Yeah Izzy probably slid him a slice of that sweet sweet navy money under the table, but for all we know Izzy had that meeting with Jackie and Chauncey, found Jack afterwards and went "Hey man, so me and Blackbeard are on the outs right now and he's got this new boyfriend who is being super hunted by the British navy, the boyfriend is a rich guy and I know how much you hate those. But anyway Blackbeard doesn't know that Stede is being hunted and I just told them where they can find them so somebody should probably go get Blackbeard out of there and it shouldn't be me, because he's mad at me right now." and Jack said "Oh my god, you made a deal with the british navy? I'm gonna love watching Blackbeard kick your ass when I bring him back here. I'm going to now go do some insane shit to save his life again. Yeah sure I'll make sure the boyfriend dies just so that Beardy doesn't run back and get his ass killed, but only if you slide me a few dubbies for my troubles." It's also possible that he's full chaotic evil joker mode and when Izzy told him the plan he went "Yeah alright, haven't seen Beardy in a while could be funny." We simply do not know. Is he destitute because he's been mutinied three times and he needs the money? Has he never been mutinied in his entire life and he's minted because he's Calico fucking Jack and he's just here for shits and giggles? I tend to go with the "he cares about Ed" reading because I want to fuck him, but it's up to you. His backstory is wide open baby. What we do know Ed likes him a lot actually, Ed cares about him and Stede getting along. We know he saved Ed's life, even if he does hold it over his head because he's a shit head(although how often he does that is also a question mark, there's so much blank space to work with with him, he can be anything you want him to be other than nice).

And you know what, until the thing with Karl the crew liked him too. The crew never liked Izzy, whatever Jack's got going on is way more compatible with the crew than Izzy, and yet I see all these fics and headcanons where the idea that Izzy will stick around after all of this is over is just taken for granted. But they could easily forgive Jack if he sucked Ed's dick, moonbathed with Buttons, and slid Olivia some birdseed because he's funny and cool and Ed's buddy. Where as Izzy can never ever be trusted in a million years, he was never fun to be around, and no one likes him. (I'm sure Jack and Ed have fucked each other over before, they're messy bitches.)

Now I don't think Jack's getting rehabilitated in cannon, in fact we're probably never gonna see him again. I'm hoping for a flashback but I won't hold my breath. It's part of why I'm writing I'm Not Going Anywhere. Because somebody needs to put this man through the st*ddyhands treatment and it's not gonna happen in the show, so it is the realm of fanfiction and no one else is doing it. Jack was fucking built for an enemies to lovers because he's the kind of man who stands too close to his romantic rival at the urinals to prove his dick is bigger. Enemies to lovers is incredibly fun to do with Jack and Izzy because Izzy is eminently bullyable and also the kind of guy belongs in one of those "don't bully me I'll cum" shirts, but it can also be fun to do with Stede "pissboots" Bonnet. I'm not sure if INGA is going that direction I haven't decided yet, but someone should do it post haste I'm so serious.

I don't necessarily want everyone to see him how I see him. I'm fine with being his only apologist. back in april the universe decided he'd gone long enough being the most hated character and decided he needed one apologist and it spun the wheel of OFMD fans and it landed on me and I became the public defender appointed to him. I am over worked and underpaid and he is a terrible client. I have made him take a plea deal on the Karl murder charge.

This has gotten unhinged thank you for letting me chew on Calico jack for like 25 minutes.

[dekusleftsock]

To continue on the hair/androgynous discussion: Glad you're in agreement! I feel like long hair and a wiry frame like he has now fit Deku a lot better as a person, and I just plain think he looks prettier like that. Honestly, for a man who says he's not well versed on the subject of romance and isn't good at drawing pretty characters, Horikoshi seems to rock at both. Even when it comes to making looks for guys that are actually androgynous and characters who have both masculine and feminine traits, he's a lot better than many shows/media that try to portray that. I'm guessing that's because he's great at character design. I'm concluded that Horikoshi either purposefully misleads people in his public statements or has a low self esteem, because he tends to way better at these things than he gives himself credit for. Which, coming from a writer, would make sense. I often have a really hard time looking at my work objectively, no matter how good people say it is. As for Deku not having a fashion sense: Fair. I like how Katsuki appears more traditionally masculine but is better at fashion and more open about emotional conversations generally, where Deku appears more traditionally feminine but is horrible at fashion and bad at emotional conversations. Part of why I can only see their future being as a duo, even years ago before the manga started hinting at that. Their personality traits, appearances and narrative roles often hint towards them being equals and partners. I don't mean this in a romantic way, but they often parallel/compliment each other perfectly. Also: Those photos you had were epic 😍. Watch me spread my long haired Deku agenda to the rest of you XD. I suppose I could be a bit less vocal about it, but over the years I've learned that if you want something done you have to do it yourself. Therefore, I'm spreading this agenda with the thin veneer of it being a cool parallel to Shigaraki 😁. To be fair to Deku, I think his recent look is pretty cool though. Obviously it needs some cleaning up, but it has a good aesthetic. Additionally, it pays homage to All Might while allowing Deku to be his own hero. My problem with his old costume was that it was paying homage to All Might without incorporating anything from Deku as an individual. I also think it would just generally be a good message that both of our favorite wonder duo boys go to extremes and need to change. Often when shows have a character like Katsuki, the pressure is all on that person to change while the protagonist stays the same. I was thinking, if Deku made the ears of his costume look more purposefully jagged and made it darker instead of just dirty/stained, he'd have a good thing going. The ears are like All Might, but incorporating the jagged look is a reminder to the war and everything associated with it. Finally, Deku's not a fashionable person but I like to think Katsuki's influence would help. He's changed his outfit up the most out of all of the characters, his parents are in the fashion business and he tends to criticize/comment on people's looks the most out of everyone. Imagine: Bkdk dating post war, Katsuki keeps getting annoyed at Izuku's lack of fashion sense and keeps interfering. It reminds me of an old married couple fussing at each other for the millionth time, and it would show that they've become much closer. Therefore, as Deku gets older his outfits gain more of a sense of fashion, mostly due to the real hero here: Katsuki XD.

HSVSIJD I LOVE THAT HC SM LMAO

They really do act like an old married couple in so many ways (another trope perhaps 👀) even in canon. I love them sm

I think his best hero outfit was actually his undercover outfit from the newest movie

Bc it still fits the bunny aesthetic he’s got going on (and subtly paying homage to allmight) but separates itself from his other outfit which is very… allmight to say the least lol.

It’s very obvious that Katsuki helped him with it in some way, or at the very least he worked with other designers to make it fit well.

I think the hood and color scheme is my personal favorite parts. (I’m a color nerd lol) the colors also match his hair and the grey accents match it really well to not make it SUPER STARK in the color difference.

Though, the goofy calf part always makes me giggle a bit bc it looks like he has chicken feet ISBKSJDKD

I think the main reason why this version is so lacking compared to his current version is because of the color and also just like, the actual symbolism he has within his outfit?

And I don’t mean Izuku’s symbolism within his hero suit TO US

I mean that his actual hero suit is designed to be practical over actually meaning anything. (I’ll probably make a post all about how Izuku’s outfits are important symbolism wise throughout the series at some point but not rn lol)

Anyway, with this version he’s actually giving homage to other people! Aside from all might.

There’s the Gran Torino cape, and then the added red accents for Katsuki, and the ripped up dirtiness for the war.

Before it was more of internalized symbolism for how Izuku views himself. Now, it’s actual symbolism that he CHOSE, showing that he’s becoming his own hero.

[monarchcelebi]

I didn’t think it was possible, but Security Breach Renewed my love for FNAF! *Rant*

The last FNAF game I was kinda interested in and excited for was Sister location, and while I still like that one, it was just okay. It has the same problem as other FNAF games where they aren’t super replayable and don’t give you a ton of reasons to come back to it. 

Help wanted was cool but wasn’t as fresh as I would’ve liked. That and VR games make me physically sick. That is less of a problem now that you can play it without VR but, even then its mostly a collection of minigames. Which is fine but not exactly what I was looking for. That being said, the new lore direction was kinda neat and it was cool to see the other FNAF games in a proper 3D space. It did prove, to me, steel wool studios can do some cool stuff with FNAF. 

Security breach I didn’t have any excitement for and I was honestly blown away with how cool it is. The animatronics are the big selling point for me, they are some of the best because these guys have actual character and personality. Take roxy for example. She has serious self-esteem issues (super relatable) and tends to force it outwards at others. Probably as a means of self defense. Chica, on the other hand, is a serious glutton (in a creepy way) and it works super well to define her. The way other animatronics talk about her and the way she acts make it seem she is insane for food and or never not hungry. Its like a rebranding of chica. She is skinny, she is into fitness and such, and is girly-girl with the pink and the glitter and stuff, but she isn't a full girls icon, cuz shes a leading member of the band, plays guitar with the boys and so on. Freddy is a good boy, enough said. And Monty? That lad is a monster and needs a snickers, he is cool has hell. 

The Glamrock animatronics have all unique personalities as next level AI. They are all characters and robots, but still treated like equipment and not.... people? Its cool, its taking the characters in a different direction. My favorite stuff with FNAF is like, FNAF 1-3 because its a perfect little horror trilogy with a hidden story you can figure out and piece together. After that FNAF got way outta hand as far as I am concerned, but I still love those three games and now, this! Its different and I like it. 

I wanna do more looking into the lore and stuff but, I am glad FNAF seems to be going in a fresh direction and I am all here for it.