#characters who are friends with a character whose much beloved actor is dead and literally cannot appear onscreen again?

[ninja-yogurt]

Every episode of the new quantum leap, regardless of my other takeaways, I end up getting mad that Sam's family is missing from the story and that Ziggy has been reduced to a personalityless tool

[taggingtim]

Why I love Pre-Boot Tim Drake and why the Reboot has ruined him

I love Tim Drake.  He is my favorite comic book character of all time.  I’ve been really upset the past few days about what DC has been doing with him lately, and I thought it would be cathartic for me to write something up about it.  (No, this isn’t a rant about Tim being bi/gay; it’s a much larger problem than that. But I’ll get to that in a bit.) Bear with me for a bit of history, first.

When I was a kid I loved the Batman Animated Series.  I know this will lose me a lot of internet cred, but I always preferred the fourth season. In particular, I loved Tim Drake. He was fun and funny and I absolutely adored him.  I used to beg my mom to take me to the mall so I could buy issues of Gotham Adventures. For my birthday one year my parents got me a subscription to the comic, and I was blown away by the idea that I could have comics MAILED to my HOUSE.

Around middle school I started collecting Marvel comics, mostly X-men stuff.  I loved them, but when I started college I quit the hobby for financial reasons.

 Fast forward a few years, and I felt I was financially stable enough to start buying comics again. Rather than going back to Marvel, I decided to give Batman comics a chance.  I had no idea where to start, and when I found out my beloved Tim had his own comic series, I thought it was a perfect entry point into the Batman universe. I bought the complete series from a local comic shop and dove in.

 Tim’s Robin series was exactly what I was looking for in a comic.  He was very different from little Timmy Todd from BtAS, but I loved him. I built the rest of my comic collection around him, grabbing up every book that he was featured in, from Young Justice to Teen Titans to Batman, Detective Comics, Nightwing, Red Robin, and many others.  I have random books from series like The Demon just because Tim was in them.

 So why did I like Tim so much?  What about this character made me so excited for more?  I found in Tim something that I had never seen in a comic book before: character growth.  Somehow, though he was written by many different authors over many different years, Tim managed to have a character arc that is consistent and makes sense. Sure, there were a few small bumps along the way, but on the whole Tim has always stayed true to his character, and he’s developed in a way that the big name characters, like Batman, never can.

 When we’re first introduced to Tim, he’s a young teen who has been neglected by his parents growing up. He’s smart, healthy, and strong, but he lacks so much self confidence and has little sense of self worth.  Tim notices Bruce’s increasing violence as he grieves for the loss of his son, and Tim knows he needs to step in and help.  Batman needs a Robin.

 For most characters, this would be the part where Tim put himself forward for the job.  But he doesn’t.  He seeks out Dick Grayson and begs him to come home instead.  It’s only when Batman and Nightwing are in danger and there is literally no one else to help that Tim steps up and dons the cape. And once he does, he’s constantly plagued by self-doubt, terrified he will screw up and leave Batman worse than ever before.

 From there, Tim undergoes intense training.  He never begs to be in the spotlight, doesn’t push to go out on the streets before he’s ready.  His goal is to help Bruce as much as possible.

 Here’s where I started to fall in love with him.  All that self-doubt, the constant need to be useful?  That’s exactly what you would expect to see from a child whose parents had ignored and neglected him.  He finally has a parental figure who sees him, who values him, and Tim does everything he can to make himself worthy in the hopes that Bruce will keep him around.

 This is the first example of character consistency that we see with Tim.  And it continues.  When his mom dies and his dad is put in a coma, you see Tim struggle to come to terms with losing the people he loves, but never had a relationship with.  Tim almost never mentions his mom after her death, because she just wasn’t present in his life.  When his dad recovers and decides to stick around, Tim struggles to build a relationship with him.  He’s plagued with guilt because he’s finally found the father figure he needed in Bruce, but he thinks that he’s supposed to feel that way for Jack.  It’s a running undercurrent in their relationship that creates distance between them for years.

 This is already so long, so I’m going to try to summarize a bit more.  We get to watch Tim grow up.  We see his awkward relationship with his first girlfriend, Ariana.  He doesn’t know how to treat her; he’s never had the opportunity to observe a healthy relationship.  But he tries so, so hard.  All of Tim’s relationships are awkward, because he’s never had a model of a good one. Steph is a great match for him, because she’s very vocal about what she wants and needs, and she isn’t afraid to call Tim out when he messes up, which is exactly what Tim needs.

 Big things happen to Tim. He’s stuck with Jean-Paul Valley, who slowly goes insane, leaving Tim to try to keep the city in one piece.  He’s infected with the Clench, a plague that sweeps over Gotham and kills everyone it touches, and barely escapes with his life. His girlfriend is sexually assaulted, leaving him to deal with the fallout.  His family moves out of Gotham, and he has to sneak back in during No Man’s Land to help.  His relationship with his dad has intense ups and downs, resulting in him being sent to boarding school, punished in a variety of ways, and generally caused a lot of trouble in his life.

 Then people start dying. Over the course of about a year in his life, Tim loses his girlfriend, his dad, a close friend, and his best friend, each of whom dies under tragic conditions.  Tim’s grief is intense, and he is understandably traumatized by the losses. We see fundamental changes in his character.  He changes his costume from something bright and cheerful to something darker that reflects his emotional state.  He’s more subdued, his adventures a little more serious.

 When Bruce first tries to adopt him, Tim literally creates an uncle and hires an actor to play him, just to avoid dealing with the situation.  Bruce has viewed Tim as a son for years, so to him the adoption is an obvious step.  For Tim, it feels like a betrayal of his father, and it takes a while before he’s ready to accept Bruce’s love, home, and a place in his family.  

 When Damian shows up on the scene, Tim really struggles with him, and not just because early Damian is a horrid brat who tries to kill Tim on multiple occasions.  Tim has always felt the need to earn his place with Bruce, and Damian constantly throws all of Tim’s biggest fears in his face—he’s not wanted or needed now that the “real” son is here, he’s not worthy of a place in the family, he’s not good enough.

 Tim tries to clone Conner, his best friend.  He’s lost so many people, and he’s desperate to get them back.  Conner was cloned to begin with and fully matured over a very short period of time; the technology clearly exists, so why can’t Tim use it to get his best friend back?  And if he can get Conner back, why not the others he’s lost?  He eventually gives up, but when he eventually gets access to a Lazarus Pit, he immediately wants to incorporate the waters into his process so he can revive his loved ones.  With Dick’s help, Tim eventually decides to let it go, but it’s such a poignant moment for the character.

 Then Bruce dies, and Dick takes Robin away.  Tim switches to the Red Robin persona as he travels the world, alone, trying to prove that he was right.  He has to deal with the trauma of losing another father, finds out that his girlfriend never died but let him hurt so much for so long.  His brother and the only close friend he has left both think his grief has overwhelmed his sense and that he’s gone crazy.  He’s utterly alone.

 The Red Robin series is such a great culmination for Tim.  He finds a place for himself as a hero, as a CEO.  He gets parts of his family back—Bruce, Steph, Bart, Conner.  He finally figures out who he wants to be and creates a place for himself.

 This overarching character development is what I love about Tim.  His many, many traumas impact his decisions, and you can clearly see how he changes over time as a result of them.  I didn’t even go into his development as a leader from his early fumbling with Young Justice to his strong leadership of the Teen Titans, or how his relationships with Conner, Bart, and Cassie develop so fluidly and realistically over the years.

 This is why I love Tim. Characters like Batman are static; nothing that happens to them will ever have a lasting impact, because in the end the character always returns to what they were.  Tim, on the other hand, has changed and developed A LOT since his initial appearance.  His growth has always been consistent and logical.

 When the reboot happened, all of that character growth was lost.  Tim was replaced with a jerk who betrayed his friends and cheated on his girlfriend.  DC has basically retconned all of this and tried to turn Tim back into who he was, but by taking away all of the things that have happened to him over the years, Tim has lost SO MUCH.

 I keep looking for my Tim in recent comics, and I just can’t find him.  It breaks my heart, because I love him so much, and it feels like he’s lost to me forever.  The most recent Young Justice comic series actually gave me hope; I felt like maybe, finally, someone was going to write Tim correctly.  He had his primary friendships back, his relationship with Steph was developing (even if they seem to have completely dropped all the development around Steph’s decision to let Tim think she was dead).  The actual book itself wasn’t fantastic, but it felt like they were headed in the right direction.

 Over the last few days, I read the Batman: Urban Legends books.  I actually read the Batman/Red Hood story first, which was fantastic.  I was really excited to read Tim’s story (though I already knew how it ended).  Jason’s character was handled so well, and he seemed to actually have some character development that will hopefully last.  I anticipated the same for Tim.

 But Tim’s story was awful. The plot was all over the place—kids are being kidnapped, so Tim has to join a pain cult to get them back?  He’s somehow helping Oracle with computer issues while simultaneously questioning witnesses?  He’s broken up with Steph, off camera, shortly after telling her how much he loves her, but Steph somehow thinks that they should have a caring relationship where Tim tells her what he’s feeling?  Bernard has somehow become a good enough fighter to stand side by side with Robin?  Tim STILL doesn’t have a code name?  Why is everyone suddenly hounding him about what he wants to do with his life?

 It’s just such a mess of a story.  If it didn’t end with Tim agreeing to go on a date with Bernard, no one would ever have even mentioned it.  There’s nothing particularly re-readable or enjoyable about it.

 I actually liked that they brought Bernard back. I really enjoyed him in the original Robin series. It’s been a while since I read that part of the series (I’m actually working my way back through it now).  I know Bernard always read as gay to me, yet somehow I felt like he was out of character in these books.

 And then, the climax of the story.  Tim is bi, or gay, or has at least agreed to go on a date with a boy.

 If this had happened in the pre-boot, when Tim was Red Robin and had an actual character arc, I honestly wouldn’t have had an issue with it.  I do think it would have needed a LOT more build up than it was given here.  Tim has always been a very introspective character, and we’ve been party to so much of his internal monologue over the years.  It seems very strange to me that such a huge thing just sneaks up on him out of nowhere when he’s never even thought about it before.

 But more than that, this story just feels like the final death blow for the Tim I loved.  The whole arc is about how Tim doesn’t know who he is or who he wants to be.  What will his hero name be?  Will he go to college?  What is he going to do with his life?  These are all great questions, and his answer to all of them is… date a boy?  

 Is this going to be his defining characteristic going forward?  From here will we just see Tim exploring and discovering his sexuality?  The Tim we have now doesn’t have a family, a team, a purpose, or even a code name.  Why was this the thing that DC decided to give us?  It feels like they wanted to make a gay Robin and decided it would be Tim because they didn’t know what else to do with him.

 It’s stupid, but I honestly feel like I’ve spent the past few days grieving the loss of a loved one. The Tim that DC is presenting now is just not the person that I knew.  Tim would never break up with Steph that abruptly for what he admits is no apparent reason.  He would never say “just call me Robin, since Damian’s out of town.”  Everything that I love about Tim seems to be gone, and in its place DC has given me a date with a boy.  

 Again, it’s not Tim being not-straight that I have an issue with.  I’ve never read the character that way, but it’s something I can live with. My issue is the way it was handled. Why not make Tim an actual person first, and then explore his sexuality?  Send him off to college!  He’s obviously thinking about it!  It’s the perfect opportunity to give him his own book.  He can move to a different city, choose a new name, and DC can introduce a whole new set of characters.  Figure out which parts of Tim’s backstory are still canon, and which have been dropped. Make him a person again, and then let him explore his sexuality.

 I know this post is all over the place, and I don’t have time right now to go back and edit it.  I just really needed an outlet for my frustration.  Right now it feels like there are so many people who are so excited about Tim being bi/gay, but they don’t know anything else about him.  I keep seeing people comment how DC has been “dropping hints for years!” with no evidence other than “he and Superboy were really close!”  I guess I’d just really like to have some dialogue with other people who are fans of Tim, rather than fans of Tim-as-bi/gay or fans of Tim-as-straight.

 Does anyone else feel this way?  I’d honestly like to have a dialogue about it with other long time fans.

[dirtydancingdean]

something about how dean so completely parallels buffy summers from btvs like they are two iterations of the same character. i mean, buffy the vampire slayer is an undeniably a big influence on supernatural, even if the show itself wouldn’t exactly advertise that fact. you have sam’s sacrifice in swan song paralleling buffy’s sacrifice in the gift, the borrowing of a lot of demons and (god help me) lore, the weird amount of buffy actors in the show (sometimes playing vampires, which is hysterical), the campiness and horror. hell, even cas’s moment of pure happiness seems like a nod to angel’s moment of pure happiness. (dean and cas did it better though). but the biggest similarity is the way dean parallels buffy. he’s obviously not meant to. he’s supposed to be a gun-slinging, wise-cracking ladies man, but that’s not what he becomes. honestly that’s not even what he comes across as in the beginning. buffy and dean are both meant to be heroes, but buffy is the main character of her show, while that’s supposed to be sam in dean’s. and buffy and sam do share their similarities, particularly in their desire for normality which backfires on them because of their equally weighed desire to help people. but dean is so much more like buffy in so many ways?? like buffy, dean always feels everything is his responsibility (like he says in 7.05, “There’s always something eating at me. That’s who I am. something happens, I feel responsible, all right?”). this is largely in part thanks to j*hn winchester, while buffy’s sense of responsibility comes from the fact that a whole group of old white men have told her she’s the one girl in all the world who can fight evil. both of them kind of know on some level that this is kind of fucked up and even try attempting to fight back against their imposed duties occasionally. dean says it in 2.20: “Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?” which is buffy to a t! that's what buffy is all about! the loneliness and unfairness of having this burden on your shoulders! buffy says this in prophecy girl: “I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.” but they both always, always go back to do their job. they both always sacrifice their own happiness for others. none of the writers would have intended to have dean make a speech that is entirely parallel to buffy summers’s prophecy girl speech, right down to both sarah michelle gellar and jackles’s tears. because ha ha, buffy is a girl hero, while dean is the embodiment of every male fantasy about what an action hero is.

the thing is, though, when you make dean every male fantasy in the world - attractive, good with women, tough, strong, likes rock music, hates chick flick moments, knows how to shoot a gun, looks good doing it, etc - you make him every male fantasy about women too. which is how we get those slow, full-body shots of dean that you normally only get with women, how we get dean being a caretaker, dean being a pacifier between sam and john, dean watching dirty dancing and liking taylor swift, dean always being the bait, dean’s interactions with villains being framed sexually, dean getting called pretty twice a season. we joke about dean being a hot action girl but he is often objectified in the particular way only women in media are. the way buffy is - in the show i think they actually did a pretty good job of not objectifying buffy. but there are times where they do, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s subtle, the way it is on spn. and buffy and dean are both used to this kind of treatment; they often weaponize their sexuality, using it when they feel threatened. in the first episode of s2, buffy’s just suffered the enormous trauma of being resurrected after having been bitten by a vampire whose violence has sexual undertones. when she comes back to her friends, they talk about how closed off and mean she’s being, culminating in the scene where she goes to the bronze. if you haven't seen that scene then i dont know how to explain the way she absolutely uses her sexuality against xander and angel, just like dean uses his as a front to protect himself against everyone. when buffy’s traumatized she pushes herself away from those closest to her, represses her emotions, and uses fighting demons as a distraction. sound familiar? buffy and dean both make witty pop culture references that monsters don’t understand and self-deprecating jokes about themselves to deal with when they feel threatened and their low opinions of themselves. buffy has a lot of lines that sound just like dean’s! @lazarusr1sing mentioned buffy saying, “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty, which is more than I can say for you,” as a line that dean literally could have said and it’s true! they’re both a fan of quirky banter during fights but they’re both so messed up when it comes to their opinions of themselves. buffy in 7x07: “I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. [...] I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. [...] Sometimes I feel...this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.” yeah, that’s...dean.

and they absolutely dive into self guilt and hatred if something goes wrong, even if it’s not necessarily their fault. faith in 3x15 says to buffy, “In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire,” and buffy says, “I am.” the amount of trauma buffy and dean both go through kind of desensitizes them to this idea - dean especially, i think, though that’s mainly the fault of the sheer amount of writers and episodes supernatural has - but if they get someone killed, they will do absolutely anything to make up for it.

the idea of sympathetic monsters in buffy and supernatural is met with scorn a lot of the time by buffy and dean. for buffy this is a matter of mental self-preservation. her job is to kill demons, and if she lets herself think all demons can be good, then that means she might have been killing sentient beings that could have done good or weren’t doing harm, since she was a teenager. she can’t let herself think that way so she closes herself off to the possibility of demons being good a lot of the time. we talk about how supernatural majorly drops the ball when it comes to empathizing with the monsters (where’s that post, you know, the, “saving people, hunting things, white men with guns decide which is which,” post), but when it comes to dean, part of that is because, like buffy, he doesn’t want to face the idea that he’s been killing things that aren’t evil since he was a child. he’ll make exceptions (cas, crowley, benny, rowena), like buffy makes exceptions (angel, spike, clem, oz, anya), but it’s easier if it’s all black and white. they’re both strangely attracted to monsters too, though, because part of them feels like they are monsters themselves. like @s4castiel said they have romantic or romantically implied relationships with things they’re meant to fight - dean with benny, cas, and crowley + buffy with angel, spike, and faith. and monsters change themselves for buffy and dean’s sakes – cas, benny, crowley, angel, spike, all become better for the sake of buffy and dean! like that leviathan in 7.06 who says dean doesn’t have relationships he has applications for sainthood!

they hate the idea of being seen as just a killer (dean in 3.10, “Daddy knew what you were. Good soldier and nothing else,” and buffy in 5.22, “Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.”) dean says, “[A killer] is not who I am,” to chuck in 15.19, just like buffy says, “A slayer is not a killer,” through the later seasons. spike’s speech in 5.07 i think, really says it: “Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it, not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day, that final gasp, that look of peace.” their worst fear is that all they can do is hurt other people. they’ve been brought up to think violence is all they can do. but they both are first and foremost protectors, especially when it comes to sam and dawn, whose roles in both shows respectively is to be a reminder of dean and buffy’s humanity.

dawn, who first shows up in season 5 as buffy’s younger sister, is, represents buffy’s most beloved parts of herself, buffy’s humanity. sam is a lot like her in the respect that their destiny was to end the world; they’re both book-smart too, while buffy and dean act a lot like dumb blondes despite being incredibly intelligent in ways that aren’t clear to everyone. (not to go on a tangent but they’re both really good battle tacticians who make a lot of references to literature and tv shows and can perceive people and monsters’ weaknesses, etc.) dawn is dangerous to the world like sam is dangerous to the world in s2-s5, but buffy will not kill her like dean will not kill sam. you know how in the end 2009 dean realizes just how much 2014 dean has changed when he talks about killing sam as lucifer? sam is dean’s humanity like dawn is buffy’s humanity. they both put their siblings over everything else in the world. they sacrifice things that sam and dawn can’t begin to understand because dean and buffy shield them from it - dean in 2.22: “I had to take care of you. It’s my job,” and buffy in 6.14: “Dawn, the most important job that I have is looking out for you.” in s5 of buffy, if dawn lives, the world ends, and buffy doesn’t care because she can’t kill dawn. in 5.22 she says, “I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that...I just wish my mom was here. [..] If Dawn dies, I’m done with it. I’m quitting,” paralleling dean quitting hunting after sam dies. they’re both insanely protective over dawn and sam - dean in 2.09: “You make a move on [Sam], you'll be dead before you hit the ground,” and buffy in 5.22: “I’ll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.” when sam dies in 2.22, dean doesn’t hesitate to offer up his soul in exchange for sam’s life; when dawn is about to die to save the world in 5.22, buffy doesn’t hesitate to die to save the world in dawn’s place. this all on top of the fact that sam and dawn are the babies, the ones dean and buffy have to take care of, which means that...no one is taking care of dean and buffy. like, dean in 3.10: “Sam, [John] doted on. Sam he loved,” and buffy’s mom in 5.05 hugging dawn and calling her “little punkin belly” and in response to buffy’s question of, “Did you ever have any names for me?” says, “No, I think you were always just Buffy.” when buffy’s mom gets sick in s5, buffy has to shoulder an incredible amount of responsibility - giving her mom her medicine, taking care of her, taking care of dawn, fighting a hellgod - and can’t break down in front of anyone because she has to be strong for dawn and her mom, the way dean has to be strong for sam and john (john in 2.01: “You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.) they’re both so scared of opening up and being a burden - buffy’s nightmare hallucination of her deadbeat dad in 1.10 says the same kind of stuff about her being a burden and unwanted that zachariah’s projection of mary says in 5.16. it really is about the eldest sister complex in the end!!!

but they didn’t ever really mean to have dean be like buffy! buffy was literally meant to subvert traditional male action heroes. buffy summers is the male action hero, but she gets to have feelings and traditionally feminine traits too. she likes cheese and wearing pink and dressing up and having pretty hair, but she thinks about battle tactics and kills a vampire like every episode. dean? dean is meant to be the male action hero without the part about having feelings and traditionally feminine traits...except that backfires spectacularly. i mean, they give dean traits such as liking nightgowns to be like haha, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, isn’t that HILARIOUS. except it doesn’t come off that way, we know it doesn’t come off that way. so dean’s watched dead poets society and rent and he sings along to air supply and is good with kids and nerds out over cowboys, but he drives a classic muscle car and kills death and carries a gun with him everywhere he goes. dean and buffy both become multifaceted, complicated, human heroes – but it was intentional for buffy. it was unintentional for dean, so the narrative actively punishes him for it. i mean ymmv on how you feel about the ending of buffy, but she does get a satisfying happy ending. dean, on the other hand, is silenced and killed off and gets the worst possible ending for his character, all because they couldn’t control him.

[rantaire]

i’ve watched approximately 4 episodes of supernatural but when you live on tumblr for years you are always spn-adjacent. we have no choice but to absorb it by osmosis because it’s just that massive. i feel like i know a lot about the show from fandom, and many of my fandom friends were in it at some point. i also work in entertainment media so i’ve been tracking all the updates in its final year. and i have to say that even after years of disappointments from movies and tv, this one seems particularly egregious? 

here’s the thing. there’s so often a divide between the fever-dream of shipping and what we actually get in canon. and we know this. we’re not stupid, or gullible. people in fandom engage with the narrative on a level most critics could never dream.

even though many of us recognize that our beloved ships from giant properties won’t go canon because they are embedded in giant global blockbusters created by megacorporations, in recent years there seems to also be a trend of bad endings that not only work to crush these ships but make for awful storytelling and act dismissive of their own canon. and I’m tired of it.

maybe steve/bucky would never happen, but steve abandoning his traumatized best friend that he’d fought actual wars for in order to go back in time for a woman who moved on with her life without him? crap. star wars not even attempting finnpoe despite the actors’ encouragement, and giving poe a random half-assed love interest because, oh look, a girl? we can be angry about these things, and we can and should demand better and broader representation. if nothing else, at least tell a better story.

why spn’s finale feels so unsettling to me as a non-fan is that even i came to believe the tide might be turning, just a little bit. fandom is more mainstream and recognized than ever. our ships and our transformative works are discussed in big media outlets. actors and creatives acknowledge fic and retweet fanart. actors and creatives acknowledge how vital it is for people to see themselves reflected and represented in media. and it seemed to me, as a sideline observer, that supernatural appreciated its fanbase and understood how important dean and castiel’s relationship was, and how beloved castiel was as a character on his own. to have him not appear in the last episode at all is unconscionable to me, and i have never seen him in an episode! this is how much impact the character had that’s filtered down.

i watched the reactions a few weeks ago of mixed euphoria and dismay after castiel’s love confession and subsequent disappearance into “super hell.” that didn’t seem great, message-wise, but it was a step that felt significant, it meant a lot to many people, and it probably would not have happened without fandom and their tireless cheerleading and enthusiasm. it seemed like maybe they were really building to something.

and so even though i knew in my dead withered critic’s heart of hearts that we wouldn’t be getting a destiel kiss, i thought that spn might be brave enough to give their fans a final gift—a thanks for everything. have dean and cas drive off in that damned car whose name i know because i live on tumblr. end with them smiling at each other. something. i know the pandemic came into play, but other actors appeared, and even castiel’s voice could have been literally phoned in.

instead, from the anger and pain and incredulous memes i’m seeing from people across social media, it appears that what the show delivered was an ending so unfitting it was like a parody of an end. they threw the baby out with the bathwater. it’s incredibly disappointing, and it feels cowardly to me. you don’t have to make a ship canon just to appease fandom. but your fans deserve a better story for their characters after fifteen years. 

spn was uniquely positioned because it’s old as balls. most of the people still watching have seen it all and would have been up for anything good. the creatives could have done pretty much whatever they wanted. this isn’t a case of disney or international censors breathing down their neck. instead, they appear to have taken the easy way out of a lackluster finale written by folks who probably high-fived themselves for poignancy and half-assed twists and got paid more money than any of us will ever see for it. that’s boring, and it’s passé, and it didn’t have to be this way.

sometimes a property like she-ra can swoop in and save the day by delivering what fans want most. but she-ra was also made by people who came out of and understood fandom culture and just how much representation means to people. how much emotional investment and time and energy we’ve put into characters and their lives. why they matter. and it should stand as an example of what to do next.

if there’s a takeaway for all of this, it’s that we can’t and shouldn’t trust “mainstream” productions to do anything that we want in terms of representation. even if they’re uniquely positioned. even if they tease. even if they say they understand. even if they say they’ll do better next time. they’ll keep throwing pieces of bones, but they will almost always keep disappointing us. and they’re not even creating good art along the way. i know a dozen spn fic writers who could’ve written a vastly better ending to the show and i’m sure there are thousands. 

we need to create the stories we want to see. in fic and fanart and transformative works, yes, but also (and i say this to myself as well), write that book. write that script. draw your graphic novel. film a movie in your backyard tomorrow because it sounds like anything we produce right now will be more inspired and more important to each other than the scraps we get from distant studios who are only vaguely aware that we’re alive and buying their merchandise. and i want to buy your books, watch your scripts, frame your art. i want to be able to invest in the stories we want to see told.

i love what we make for each other, and we should keep doing that, more furiously than ever. and if you want to, if you dream of it, you should push to create on a broader scale. you already know that you’re a better creative than a lot of people who are generating the “hits.” i can’t wait to see what you make. and fuck supernatural’s finale.

[popculturebuffet]

Tom and Jerry 2021 Review: It’s Almost Adequate!

Hello you happy people, and welcome to a surprise review! While this was on my schedule, I moved it out to make room for my new Patreon Sponsored review. Yes at the 5 dollar tier you too can get a review a month.. but enough shilling. Point is I had some thoughts on the film, and felt I could squeeze a review of it into the schedule since my review for yesterday, the 90′s Tom and Jerry movie, got canceled as I both had to finish up my tex avery birthday review and hadn’t noticed it wasn’t on HBO Max like I thought. I could’ve sworn it was once but not anymore. Gee it’s almost like they removed their overtly awful Tom and Jerry movie from the service so people woudln’t be reminded of it when they watched the mediocre  new one. Or it was never on there because HBO wants to bury that mistake in a hole. You make the call. 

Point is I had some room in my schedule, so if I can’t cover the 1990 movie this weekend, though I FULLY intend to still do that at some point as it still fascinates me, might as well cover the one everyone’s actually watching. So join me under the cut with spoilers to go into why this film is .. ehhhh. under the cut

Tom and Jerry follows, as you’d expect, our working boys up to their ass in shit, what is this buisness. In this case Tom literally rides in on a rail with his keyboard wanting to be a big musician one day, while Jerry is shopping around for a home but can’t find any in his bracket. The two end up fighting, as you’d expect, when Tom performs as a blind cat in a park, a great gag, and Jerry first steals his customers by dancing to his music, but then when Tom tries to stop him, not only exposes his scam, but gets Tom’s beloved Keyboard broken. 

In the process of Tom trying to get Jerry back for runing his day, Tom ruins the day of Kayla, a cynical young lady played by Chole Grace Moretz who like Robin in the last theatrical film, is a blonde girl who takes up way more screen time than our heroes for some reason. Tom accidently destroys the clothes she was sent to deliver, and she gets fired from her Task Rabbit esque job... despite the fact that TaskRabbit is app based, entirely built around how you do jobs for hire as needed, and that at most she’d get a bad review and that the app dosen’t actually hire people. I know this both because i’ve seen the apps and parodies of it show up on tv shows I watch, most recently Close Enough, and because I took the 2 minutes it took to google it , read some of the Wikipedia article and do the bare minimum that me, a paid only by commissions and patreons reviewer, did to prove a point, and that the writers of this film, who likely got paid at least 10000 for a rewrite, and more for whoever wrote the treatment, which is about 30,000 at lowest as told to me by this article on what screenwriters get paid I looked up solely to prove a point. So they got paid tens of thousands of dollars, probably more than standard... to not spend 5 minutes looking up what task rabbit is, becuase they wanted to give her a “hip” job instead of just having her work for a dry cleaner. Then again they got thousands upon thousands to half ass it and i’m getting paid nothing to go on a rant about how they half assed it, so maybe i’m the dumbass, I dunno, but at least I take pride in my work. And i’ve had trouble spellchecking at times so take that as you will. 

But so far the film is not bad: the slapstick is blended really well, the action is pitch perfect and our heroes are given good motivations: Kayla’s to find a job, Tom to play piano professionally and Jerry to find a proper home. You ready for some letdown?!

 All three of our heroes converge at the Royal Gate Hotel, a prestigious hotel that’s been host to popes, dignitaries and Drake. Jerry sneaks inside, and soon finds himself at home and making himself home, Tom TRIES to and ends up getting on the wrong side of Butch, the black cat from the shorts played in this film by reggaton performer Nicky Jam. Why they choose him over a comedian or anyone who could actually act, especially since Butch dosen’t have a musical number or anything, is a riddle for the ages. My best guest, as it always is, is that Tim Story owes him a Wookie-Style life debt. Not only that but even more bafflingly Butch’s gang, who to the films credit like him are all his gang of cats from the classic shorts, are played by Kevin Hart’s Improve Troop, The Plastic Cup Boyz. I got a preview for what passing a kidney stone’s going to feel like just typing that name. I thought I had no explanation for this, not even a wookie life debt can explain how Kevin Hart’s posse, because he has one for some reason but at least unlike Adam Sandler he’s helping his smaller named friends get big instead of just promoting guys who really shouldn’t have a career or dragging poor guys like Shaq or Terry Crews into your bullcrap because they like you., can explain how this happened. But I forgot I looked up Tim Story’s filmography when I first found out he was director here, more on him later, and found out he directed both Ride Along films, both think like a man films, and one of Kevin Hart’s specials, so the two presumably are friends or at least have a solid working relationship, and given how successful the first Ride Along was for both men, I doubt Tim would turn down a favor from him and vice versa. 

And while I find the Plastic Cup Boyz inclusion in this film bizzare and wish it was fellow comedy troupe and starkid adjacent wonderkinds the Tin Can Bros so I could get Joey Richter voicing an animated cat, they at least try their best, their just not given much to do and I don’t get casting them in these side rolls or not giving the butch role to one of them as Nicky Jam just sucks in the role. And I get Butch isn’t the most solid or complex character, but it still isn’t THAT hard, with the 80 drumloads of great comedians out there, to find SOMEONE better, and it’s weird Kevin Hart himself isn’t in the roll. If it wasn’t a wookie life debt i’m betting Hart was going to play Butch, had to back out due to scheduling conflicts or whatever, and Tim found the first guy he could who’d take almost nothing instead of an actual actor. 

Kayla meanwhile somehow takes herself from sympathetic to wholly unlikeable in the span of the scene by maniuplating and terrifying a poor woman into not taking the job, outright STEALING HER RESUME, meaning if she screwed up this might go on the poor woman’s record, and lying her way into the job. And if the woman had been you know a classist dick or something, i’d understand but this is a perfectly nice lady who worked really hard, and who looses out on a job because some little bitch talked her out of it and then stole her identity. This one act really just makes me not care: It’s one thing to do what you gotta to get a job, I myself have never lied on an application but I get new york’s insanely expensive. Even if she presumibly lives in a hole that’s cramped, has roaches or rats, who given this unvierse probably have tiny tv’s that are still way too loud and binge watch way too much Jersey Shore at 2 in the morning, and is probably haunted, probably by Droopy wearing a bedsheet going boo but still, and yes he’s also alive here but he has identical cousins. Not the point. Point is even if she has sympathetic motives.. what she did is not okay and when she get flashes of guilt throughtout hte film it’s never long enough to feel like it’s not her simply feeling bad she didn’t get this herself and not that she STOLE IT FROM ANOTHER PERSON. Again if she’d FAKED her resume, this would’ve been fine, simply set up some websites, and it would’ve worked so why they went with this elaborate setup that takes her into outright crimes is beyond me. 

Point is she gets hired by the manager/owner, Mr. Dubrois, played by Rob Delany, but since his name isn’t used enough i’m just going to call him Mustache Manager. Her direct superior whose against her being hired is Terrance, the Gate’s Event Manager played by a way too good for this film Micheal Pena, who sadly is given nothing to work with. Terrance.. is supposed to be the bad guy because he distrusts kayla. And while one of those reasons is stupid, she makes a joke about the goldfish being an aquatics manger and he takes it dead seriously, he’s rightfully supscious she’s not who she says she is, since one of the places on her resume is a place he knows people from. The only way the film manages to make him the bad guy is he is COMICALLY out of touch: he dosen’t get sarcasm, as seen before, dosen’t want people posting jerry to “snapgram or instaface”, and seems to have trouble relating to his guests. What makes this not work is that he’s manger at a ludicrously expensive hotel. As such a good chunk of his events would be for Celebrties, since New York’s a big hub for them, having tons living there and visiting for films, apperances on late night talk shows, SNL and what have you and being a prime spot for events and it’s clear part of his job is talking to the guests as the two the film focuses on, more on that in a minute, know him and have met him before. He also mentions Drake having stayed there... he would NOT have kept this job. 

You’d need to do through research on these kinds of celebrates and social media is the easiest way to do that, to get what they like, what they don’t, what they don’t want to talk about, what scandals or gos might be going on to keep paparazzi out. I don’t even know how this business works nor did I google it.. and I didn’t to prove a point.. that even with no real idea how this works.. I still get what you’d probably need to know to make events for rich famous people. I’m not convinced Terrance knows how an internet works.  And given writer Kevin Costello wrote the well received and weird film I still want to see Brigbsby Bear, I get the sense a lot of this nonsense was added in rewrites demanded by executives and credit him more for what works in the film. More on that in a moment. 

Kayla is hired on because the Royal Gate has it’s biggest event ever, the wedding of Ben, played by Colin Jost, and Preeta, played by Pallavi Sharda. Why is it big? What do they do exactly? Are they trust fund babies? Did Ben invent an app? Did Preeta cure global warming? Did they both help defeat Galactus DEVOURER OF WORLDS?!... I dont’ know. If the film told me at all why their big names, even if it’s just because their famous for being famous which would be fine, why this is bigger than a fucking pope visiting, I missed it and I actually went back to their first scene and the scene where Mustache Manager brings up the wedding in the first place to Kayla, and found nothing. We just know their rich, their getting married, Ben doesn’t listen to Preeta and is insufferable, and that they own two classic Tom and Jerry characters: Ben owns spike whose played by Bobby Canavale who isn’t bad but dosen’t try to sound like spike at all and that annoys me given unlike Tom and Jerry, the former of whom’s signature noises from the cartoon were used archivally and otherwise dosen’t talk and only sings on occasion or does that wonderfully weird “don’t you belivie it” thing., has a distinct voice they could’ve got someone to imitate. The other is Preeya’s cat toodles, that white cat Tom is always trying to bang, who got a neat less anthro redesign. 

Toots, Toodles whatever you call her the redesign works, making her more of a cat, and only speaking in meows for some reason, and combinging the two female cats tom’s liked, but while still being just funny animal enough that him wanting some pussy, so to speak, isn’t too creepy. 

And this is where the film undergoes a bit of a shift. While the 20 or so minutes are rightfully focused on our boys with a bit of focus on Kayla, from here on out she’s our defacto lead. Given the last film did the same damn thing of making Tom and Jerry not the main leads in their own movie, you can see the problem.  I will say to the film’s credit it is still LEAGUES better in a lot of other ways than the 90′s film in that the plot is actually centered around them: Jerry, when stealing some cheese, and runs afoul of the tempermental Chef Jackie played by Kim Jeong. Though i’m 100% not convinced Ben Chang didn’t just lie on his resume at some place and has now somehow become a michline star canditate. He finds Jerry, and Kayla volunteers to catch him to help her own career and validly points out her doing this discreetly with only the staff knowing about the mouse will keep it from becoming a social media nightmare. 

The 90′s film could work without them, replacing them with any animal sidekick for Robin, since nit’s so far removed from Tom and Jerry their really an afterthought. Here the film DOES feel like a tom and jerry plot at it’s core, Jerry’s somewhere he shoudln’t be, Tom wants to chase him either due to personal greivance or his job depending on it, in this case both. The small side cast are all involved, and given decent if thin justifications for being there: Butch is an ally cat and Spike and Tootles are the pets of the happy couple. 

And honestly the slapstick portions, the portions that are tom and jerry focused or use the humans well, are BRILLIANT. No really, it’s good stuff once in a while using a bit from the classics but mostly coming up with new gags and the animation is gorgeous. I won’t lie and say it’s always perfect, sometimes the models are a bit off and look unfinished and that’s not forgivable when you delay your film two months, and thus have extra time to work on that. But that’s a few shots here and there versus the majority of hte film where the various animals all blend perfectly. Unlike most Live Action adaptations of an old cartoon, this one actually seemed to have good reason, as they’ve taken the basic roger rabbit tech of decades ago and expanded on it well. Just like that classic you often wonder how the hell they pulled this off, and outside of one egregrous sequence where tom sets up an elaborate trap we spend far too much time on, when they do use CG for any props, you can’t tell. This is best highlighted by what I consdier to be the film’s best sequence and what brings Tom into the plot proper after lurking on the fringes for a good 15 minutes: Tom, miserable in the rain, finds jerry living it up in an empty room, and after some fun shenanigans trying to get in, finally succeds leading to a good 2-3 minute sequence of the two chasing after each other in the room. There are no actors, no one else and the room is empty, but perfectly gimmicked to time with thier movments. Wether they used cg and I couldn’t tell or just simply timed things great, it’s utterly fantastic and shows why this film is live action: while i’td be fine animated they cleary ahd the tech and ideas to do it live and thus did it this way. Naturally Kayla meets Tom again, and after finding out the room was trashed by both him and Jerry gets Mustache Manager to hire him. 

But this is the problem: While there are great set pieces like this, or a REALLY damn impressive one later where Terrance gets dragged into a ball of violence while walking Spike for Ben and we see INSIDE IT, with Terrance not moving as fast but that being okay. And I love the movie’s commitment that ALL animals are animated. So it has it’s charms and gets a LOT right.

It’s clear to me from this strong core that the script was messed with, either by director Tim Story or the execs. Some misguided and stupid bits I get even if it was a bad idea: Tom does do the piano at one point, after he thinks he’s gotten rid of Jerry thanks to again an unwieldy overly long bit of CGI that’s a down spot on the usually good just tom and jerry stuff. And he STARTS singing a 40′s jazz song, and I thought “Okay they really got this and are doing something like is you is or is you ain’t my baby this will be fun”. Then T-Pain started using autotune, because of course, and Tom’s shoulder devil started scratching next to him...

By the way Tom’s Shoulder Devil and Angel are played very well by Lil Rel Howrey , aka Rod from Get Out. So good on you man, one bit of non miscasting.  There’s one or two cringe inducing moment of trying to be hip here or there though for a film like this it isn’t nearly as bad as you’d expect. Still bad but i’ve seen so much worse at this point i’m not going to bother getting mad or upset over it. I’m used to this kind of thing from kids movies. 

But while the film dosen’t really lack Tom and Jerry, it sidelines them way too often> There’s just too many scenes  just about Kayla, whose not only not a great character despite Chole trying her absolute hardest god bless her. Her hitting it off with the bartender, her arguing with Terrance whose even more insufferable and her bonding with Preeta and Ben being annoying, we’ll get to him.. WE’LL GET TO HIM. But they aren’t funny or interesting, there’s nothing THERE to really get me interested, nothing new or fresh that we haven’t seen done better before. There’s just nothing, it feels like large parts of blank space. And to illustrate this my Niece, who I watched the film with and really loves Tom and Jerry after I showed it to her... played with other stuff during most of those scenes. And she’s young, her attention span is not great.. but noticably during the actual scenes of slapstick she was glued to the tv, just like she was when I showed her the classic shorts. It’s not just old farts like me who remember tom and jerry from their youth.. it’s the kids your TRYING to appeal to that don’t want this. If you can’t get kids, who in general and speaking from my own personal experience will watch just about anything, to pay attention YOU. HAVE. FAILED. 

Okay took a second to compose myself, let’s move on to the rest of the movie. So after T-Pain stabbed music in the throat, we get to the worst section of the film as Kayla brokers peace between the two to get Preeta’s ring back after the three end up in the aformnetioned violence ball with Terrance, who she ducks his claims that she didn’t catch the mouse.. which she did not but for once she’s sympathetic as Terrance is much more likeable either, though gaslighting him and getting him put on leave is a bit extreme. Bafflingly, Kayla gets his job as event cordinator for now, and thus has to broker peace between the two warring factions.. and does so in the strangest way possible: by booking a day for them in new york to hang out and be BUDDIES!. This isn’t bad as the last film as it dosen’t last, but it is just.. surreal seeing the two having a hanging out montage around new york. Like the film just took a really weird turn with this, the montage itself isn’t weird, it’s standard shenanigans minus the fighting but still good stuff. Unlike the 90′s movie instead of singing about being palls or helping a small child, they just get into cartoony shenanigans together. More proof the film could’ve been so much better just with them. 

Speaking of proof the film would’ve been better without them , Ben fucks around with a drone for the wedding, after Preeta confided in Kayla the wedding’s getting to be a bit much. So let’s talk about Ben shall we? While Preeta is just nice, friendly and down to earth, Ben... is a dumbass, a jackass and just an ass. His whole schtick is that he keeps escalting the wedding despite her wishing he’d stop, and i’ts just.. not funny. A guy ignoring his partner’s wishes, constnatly doing big gestures in large part to try and win over her dad who RIGHTFULLY hates, and in general just sucks. I do not blame this on Colin Jost: He’s perfectly charming on SNL, and Weekend Update is usually damn fun under him and Micheal Che. But like with Pena and Mortez, he’s given NOTHING to work with, and furthe rmore can’t improvise.. aka the skill most SNL cast and almnus walk away with. So it’s no suprise he instead comes off like an anoying plank of wood you want to see fall down a manhole and never return so Preeta can marry someone else. I dunno the Doorman’s a pretty cool guy, and if he’s taken or something there’s always Droopy. Droopy’s the smoothest motherfucker and we all know. And if HE’S taken there’s mustache man. The point is we have a Dating Game’s worth of elligble bachelors and the film tries to sell a plank of wood who clearly wants to bang Preeta’s dad more than he wants a genuine equal relationship with Preeta. 

So that dosen’t help the final act.. which is started with something REALLY weird to round off tom and jerry’s day as Tom catches a ball, interupts a play and get.s. thrown in the pound for it?

I don’t know how tha’ts a crime, I don’t get it either, point is the animal control guy is a creep who shows them off as they pass some angry dogs.. and.. 

MY BOY. There was an earlier joke with him taking the place of The Joker, and I thought that was it sadly but nope there he is! While, given they don’t really have much to do with each other, it is a tad weird he’s been grafted onto the tom and jerry legacy.. I really don’t care because it means Droopy gets to show up every so often in other stuff like this.. And hopefully the spinoff series coming in the summer. I”ve talked before about how much I love this dog so having him show up here was a HUGE delight and easily the higlihgt of the film and the gag is perfect. WHy is he in prison? I don’t know. But given who we’re dealing with I also assume he just disappeared later and showed up at the Wolf’s place again to get the evidence to clear his name and to help a young brodway hopeful played by Peyton R LIst get to her audition in time. And yes I just imagined another live action film with a classic character.. but admit it you’d rather be watching that one. They also run into butch who tries to force him to eat Jerry or they’ll kill him. 

Terence saw the arrest on the tv though, so he bails the two out, pits them against each other, and sets them loose at the wedding. This goes how you’d expect. the two cause chaos and thanks to Weekend UpDumbass there’s pecocks, tigers and elephants, and Jerry naturally spooks the elephants, Spike, who has it in for tom as usual, goes after tom the tiger goes after him and the wedding is destroyed. Preeta breaks up with Ben and leaves, and Kayla is fired.

Less good is that Tom gets thrown out because Terrance backed out on his deal because he’s a fucking asshole. So while Kayla gripes to her sorta loveintrest bartender man, and wishes she could fix things, T and J show up, both realizing it’s their fault and both with a plan to fix things leading to our climax. Kayla goes back to the hotel, and while Terrance tries to boject she rightfully blackmails him. Sadly neither get their commupance and while Mustache Manager puts two and two together, he’s all for ending this PR Nightmare and helping with Kayla’s plan to get ben to stage a wedding in central park that Preeta actually wants while our two actual heroes go to stop her and do some light kidnapping of toodles to get Preeta to stop. 

So it ends how you’d expect: Preeta makes a huge mistake, seriously Droopy go to their honemoon I guarantee Ben will wonder off into the ocean because he thought it looked sick bro, Kayla gets her job back and in a move that makes her almost tolerable hires the woman she stole from who Terrance clearly wants to bang, and Tom actually catches Toot’s eye, but then Jerry mucks it up because cockblocking tom has been his job since the 40′s, they fight, Kayla tells them to cut it out, they put an the end thing over it. Roll credits. 

As you could tell I had issues with this film and had more the more I thought about it. So it’s not very good.. but I still recommend watching it if you have Max right now. Yes really. While the human parts are pretty awful as you could tell, you can have some fun mocking them, and it’s worth suffering through them for the bits with our boys, as those bits are geneuinely energetic, fun and what you came for. If you like tom and Jerry, you probably won’t like this movie.. but you’ll enjoy those bits. Hopefully if there’s a sequel, and this film was a suprise hit so their probably will be, they’ll learn their lesson from this one and focus less on the humans and more on the hyjinks but overall this is just a medicore waste of some really great technology and slapstick. This is just one huge ball of dispaointment instead of cartoon violence and i’m sorry it ended this way.  If you liked this review, you can follow me on my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even 1 dollar a month helps and my next stretch goal nets a Darkwing Duck episode a month, so if that excites you, please sign up. And if you can’t afford to that’s fine and feel free to stick around anyway. Times are hard and I get that. And I will see you at the next rainbow. 

[ijustwantdumpling]

Modaozushi Fanfic Recommendation.

Since I can’t get enough of this novel, might as well pampering/hurting my self more with an outstanding fanfic/canon divergence of this great book. Even the live action and the anime version still nor gonna stop me from these beautiful handmade story by all the fans of Modaozushi.

This recommendation will be focusing on our WangXian couple

 1.Cure by Yukirin_Snow 

Description : It was meant to be a consult, simple, quick, to tell the family and patient that there wasn’t much he could do. Even after all the other doctors, the tests, the treatments, and the huge stack of documentation on his desk that told him this poor patient could only remain comfortable until his final moments.

So how had it ended up like this?

(It was well written and you could see how well researched this fanfic is. I Spent my night in tears reading this beautiful fanfic. tips : prepare some tissue and we gonna go on emotional roller coaster.)

status : Multi-chaptered / Completed

2. SanRen by Kyogre

Description : Leaving YunmengJiang in an effort to curb the tensions in the Jiang family, Wei WuXian becomes a rogue cultivator.Even without the support of a sect, he is a rare genius whose name will become known across the cultivation world and whose techniques will influence the course of a war.However, what influences his own fate is a chance meeting that becomes the first step toward love.

(a canon divergence, but at least everyone alive here.)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

3. My Immortal by Jaywalker_Holmes

Description : Wei WuXian had thought his troubles had ended after the mess with Jin GuangYao was sorted out, and that he would spend the rest of his life happily with his beloved Lan Zhan, double cultivating and rebuilding his golden core. However, fate had other plans. Mo XuanYu's frail body could not contain his increasing power, and an inevitable cultivation accident occurs, sending Wei WuXian to his six-year old body, just before Jiang FengMian found him. Will the YiLing Patriarch have a happier life this time around?Inspired by Evanescence's song, which will be reflected in the chapter titles.

(A time travel series! there’s a heavenly beast and everyone is alive and thriving also what I really love the most is soft hearted madam Yu and a creepy/psycho wen ruohan who’s everyone number onecenemies but at least he didn’t die so we could actually know what was he’s motivation actually is or.. just him being psycho)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

4. Loneliness Knows My Name by  Jaywalker_Holmes , Treef

Description :  AU after the First Siege of Burial Mounds. Wei WuXian didn't die, instead he was saved by someone everyone thought was already dead - Wen Ruohan. However, no one knows this (since Wen Ruohan is apparently great at faking deaths), so the cultivation world rejoices even as Lan WangJi desperately searches for his Wei Ying and finds a little child instead. Wei WuXian, on the other hand... 

(well.. can you imagine Wen Ruohan became Wei Wuxian grandpa? this definitely change everything.)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

5. Night of Sixth Magnitude Stars by Leffy

Description : Lan WangJi gave him a disapproving look as they left the classroom. “You can’t be late every time.”Wei WuXian walked with light steps, seemingly in a happy mood. “They can’t fault me if I want to spend more time with the only student who really listens to me.”Lan WangJi followed reluctantly, because Wei WuXian always made him follow, even when he was driving him crazy.

( A modern AU! at first I was hesitated because I was to used with the time setting in the novel but my hesitation was just a complete stupid waste of time because this fanfic definitely GOLD)

status : Multi-Chaptered /Completed 

6. Blink  by Menuridae

Description : “So on Saturday night, while you are having the time of your life on a date with your hot, hunky, handsome soulmate, I have to go on a date with a rich young master who sounds like a literal stick in the mud whilst pretending to be you?"Mo Xuanyu's family has set him up on a blind date with a rich young master after learning he is gay. However, he already has plans for that night. Instead of going on the date himself, Mo Xuanyu enlists Wei Wuxian to go as a substitute. Wei Wuxian must act like his best friend for the night before kindly turning down Mo Xuanyu's date.Only, Wei Wuxian finds out that turning down Mo Xuanyu's date is possibly the hardest thing he has had to do in a long time.

(single parent LWJ and we should thanks Mo Xaunyu for he is actually our savior)

status :Multi-Chaptered /Completed

7. the nights are long (but the years are shorter) by hyunbyun

Description :  Wei Ying and Lan Zhan come to terms with the fact that A-Yuan really is grown up.

(WangXian became a soft parent and somehow I pictured my parent actually felt the same in each year I grew up.)

status : Oneshot 

8. Ten miles of Lotus Flowers by Yukirin_Snow

Description : He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

(A/B/O Dynamic and Mpreg. very well written and my heart broke most of the time thankyou very much but it’s happy ending tho)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

9. Switched by Shorimochi 

Description : When an actor transmigrated into a fictional world, and a fictional character transmigrated into the real world.There are a lot of things Xiao Zhan could do - sing, dance, act, cook, draw - but not fighting cultivators, and definitely not summon an army of corpses! Most importantly, how can he handle being around Wang Yibo's fictional self when he knew the man had been fantasising about him since fifteen?Wei Wuxian swore just a few minutes ago he was still out there, destroying the Wens who had taken away his home, but when he opened his eyes he arrived at a dreamland where there are moving pictures, metal carriages, and people are so rich they poop in a beautiful white porcelain throne. Also, why does the Lan Zhan he saw smile so often and talk so much?

(LWJ reputation was definitely tainted! I laugh so much but this ff is actualy genius. let’s see how Xiao Zhan, a real life actor who played wei wuxian and who knew  better about how his character specially the story line trying to save that massive bundle of trouble)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

10. Don't You Like Me (MDZS Edition) by Shorimochi 

Description : Wei Wuxian was just an ordinary teenager at Gusu Academy. He hung out with friends, break the rules at least once a day, and banter with his roommate, Lan Wangji at every opportunity he had.Life had been normal, until his grandfather passed away and left him an ancient relic that gave him the Yin eyes, causing him to be able to see and communicate with ghosts. Wei Wuxian was horrified to discover that everywhere around him, there were ghosts invading his space, even watching him shower! He wasn't able to sleep, eat, or study properly - until one day he accidentally touched Lan Wangji skin-to-skin, and the ghosts simply disappeared. Hmm?Wei Wuxian discovered that a simple brush of hands closed his Yin eyes for five minutes. A hug, fifteen minutes. Exchanging saliva? (Don't ask how)... Two hours. And so he began sticking close to Lan Wangji for as much and as long as he could.Until he got kabedon'ed by his roommate.LWJ: You try to touch me at every opportunity you have. You like me, don't you? WWX: ... (Unable to answer because of the curse of the seal) LWJ: I like you too. WWX: ??!Based on a novel of the same title.

(A modern AU, a have good laugh also wei wuxian was very meanie to our soft hearted lwj.)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed 

11. no other cloud compares to you by ectocosme

Description :  Divine beasts sometimes fall in love with humans. Half-divine beast most often than not. Dragons always. Wei Wuxian visits Cloud Recesses when he receives the first 'hail' of who will become his mate. At least, he is determined for them to become mates. But life does not flow as the river, it is a meandering stream easily disturbed.

(Wei Wuxian as a dragon! also wangji are just so stupid smh..)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Ongoing

12. Sky, Cloud and Lotus by Xantya24

Description :  Wei WuXian is an unruly omega that is mated to one of the Twin Jades of GusuLan, Lan WangJi an alpha. Till one day, they find out that Wei WuXian is pregnant. How will the new mated couple react to the news? It will be one hell of a ride. Raising kids is definitely different from raising buns buns. From morning sickness to weird cravings to mood swings to labor to sleepless nights. To new relationships being build to finding about love. Lots of angst and fluff also. Prepare for the feels.

status : Multi-Chaptered / Ongoing 

13. ShuangXiu by panda_desu

Description : Lan XiChen knows he must sound so stupid right now. He clears his throat. "I am sure this is something to expect from a married couple, but Wangji, I have to ask, how?"Lan WangJi looks impassively at Lan XiChen.

(mpreg but not abo dynamic but somehow it’s make sense! well at least for mdzs universe. love how the author deliver it and makes the theory acceptable so it’s not like wei ying getting pregnant out of nowhere. loved it!)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed 

14. MDZS drabbles by Demon_neko97

Description :  This is just a collection of the prompt requests I receive on Tumblr. (The prompt request is already closed.)

(collection of drabbles, fluffy, funny, perfect for times when you just want to keep it light and better mood)

status : Drables / Ongoing 

15. The Light That Fails to Dim by glowingreverie

Description : Wei Ying lost his parents in a night hunt. Cold and alone, he wandered the streets of Yiling for nearly two years. However, one fateful night, a tall, scary man finds him and takes him back to a place he calls Qinghe. Later Wei Ying, now known as Wei Wuxian, discovers that that tall, scary man is not bad at all. And his cowardly brother makes an even better friend than he initially thought he would. With a content feeling in his chest every day, Wei Wuxian can only hope these peaceful, happy days with his new family will last until the end of time.Or, in which Jiang Fengmian is unaware of what happened to Wei Wuxian's parents and Nie Mingjue takes him in and the story continues from there...

(things really get different over there and I might say this is a great one. I just love nie huaisang so much fight me) 

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

16.Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 

Description : There is something called a memory ball, or Jiyi Qiu, that shows the memories of a chosen person.In order to further incriminate the already dead Yiling Patriarch, the cultivation world decides to use this memory ball at the next Discussion Conference to show how evil the demonic cultivator can truly be.What appears, though, truly shocks them all.

(a cried a river. heartbreaking but satisfied just to imagine those guilty faces) 

status : Multi-Chaptered /Ongoing

17. Jiang Cheng and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Wedding by hyunbyun

Description :  An outside perspective on modern! Lan Zhan’s and Wei Ying’s wedding through the eyes of local poor soul Jiang Cheng.

(Heartwarming, it literally bring smile to my face and this is just so good. you have to read this one) 

status :  Oneshot

18. Family - Mating Season by Laxruar

Description :  Fairy isn't a good dog.

(Laugh my ass out, literally!) 

19. Instagram Husband by hasu, ofishenod

Description :  Wei WuXian was on a mission to become Instagram Famous, so he did what he did best: dragged Lan WangJi (and many unwilling others) into his misadventures. Or, 5 times Wei WuXian had Lan WangJi take photos of him and 1 time Wei WuXian took a photo with Lan WangJi.

(if I don’t get the lan wangji for my wei wuxian, then what’s the meaning of this life?!)

status : Oneshot.

20. The Tale of Snow Wei by scrayjes

Description :  

 Snow Wei is a powerful warlock; The mage is as strong-willed as can be; The prince should watch his anger; The donkey should roam free.

(wei wuxian as a snow white? yes. )

status : Oneshot 

21. Response by  Aki_no_hikari

Description : What if Wei Wuxian hadn't been silent to Lan Wangji's Inquiry? Part 2: Featuring A-Yuan

(a-yuan T.T loving it!) 

status : Multi-Chaptered 

22. Some of You by Tangerinechar

Description : It can’t be that bad, he thinks. There’s no way he would have done that. But the doubt still lingers, turning into full-blown anxiety as he scrolls down his twitter feed, finally arriving on his latest tweet.

Lan WangJi ✔ @lan_wangjiSome of you have never fallen in love with a boy only for him to go missing after his parents die and pine away for three years waiting for him to come back, then continue to pine when he’s back after you realize you’re too scared to confess, and it shows.23,043 retweets | 73,328 likesLan Zhan’s face pales and he buries his head in his hands, letting his phone drop on the table.

This is bad.This is very, very bad.-Or, Lan Wangji gets drunk and tweets a love confession, Wei Wuxian panics, and all of twitter decides to matchmake Lan Wangji and his mystery guy.

(wei wuxian is that dense! smh) 

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

23. asymptotic by chinxe

Description : The members of the Lan Clan have never been particularly well-known for their good judgement when it comes to matters of the heart.Which is why it should come as a surprise to no one when Lan Wangji falls in love with an actual ghost.

(”wei ying is wei ying” lwj just so hopeless when it’s about wwx)

status : Multi-Chaptered / Completed

if you already read all of those fanfics above then congratulation! you’ve already going through a high level of mood changing, tear jerking, blood pulsing, head aching, tooth aching fluff and thousands more feelings! what a ride!. 

[vmheadquarters]

Fifteen years ago, our favorite female sleuth made her first appearance on UPN (later turned CW) in Veronica Mars. Three television seasons, a Kickstarter-backed film, and two books later, Veronica Mars is being revived thanks to the beloved streaming platform Hulu.

From the get go, Veronica Mars has sparked the conversation on many ‘controversial’ topics – well ahead of its time – that were handled so well and subtly, you never felt like you were being lectured to. Within the first season, writer-creator Rob Thomas tackled topics like rape, slut-shaming, transphobia, racial stereotypes, and the most prevalent theme at hand is the war and divide between “the have and the have-nots”.

Kristen Bell’s portrayal of Veronica Mars and V’s sassy, yet endearing, personality has taken the marshmallow community by storm. The character is one that is efficacious and sharp, but is not without flaws. Veronica allows each of us to resonate with her as a person, with her struggles, with her traumas; she is and remains a grounded, human character.

The Murder Mystery

Set five years after the Veronica Mars Kickstarter film, three young spring breakers and a motel manager are dead after a bomb explodes in the office of the Neptune Sea Sprite Motel. This is the first of more to come, all of which are hurting the Spring Break destination and beachfront businesses. Hired by the Maloof’s, a wealthy and politically rich family of one of the injured victims, Mars Investigations is on the case to figure out who this serial bomber could be.

Meanwhile, Veronica finally gets a Pony, Logan (Jason Dohring) – a navy intelligence officer – returns home into the arms of Veronica, Papa Mars (Enrico Colantoni) is physically recovering from the car accident that occured in the film and reeling through the emotions of a potentially serious medical issue, Wallace (Percy Daggs III) seems to be happily solidified in his married life and career as a teacher at Neptune High, and Weevil (Francis Capra) must face the formidable consequences that occurred between the film and present-day. Max Greenfield reprises his role as Leo D’Amato, except this time as an FBI agent working with Veronica on the case. Even if you’re a LoVer, Leo’s presence back on the screen is one that deliberately toys with our emotions, but leaves us with a happy sensation coursing through our veins.

The plot has a heavy focus on the main mystery in a serialized fashion, so that any newbie can come fresh into this season without even the basic concept and still be able to follow along. The characters are introduced in a manner that subtly recaps their backstory without being overly explanatory, which allows the new faces to scoop in, but gives enough of the nostalgic factors to cater to those long-term marshmallows. Book readers might notice some similarities between this story line and the content of the books, and while some of it seems to be derived from them, this is not an exclusive adaptation.

There is a noticeable lack of mini-mysteries in each episode set within the confines of the larger, long-con mystery that the previous seasons managed to execute so well. A bit of a letdown since those episodic stories also helped provide teachable moments, and without them we’re almost without the moral compass that creator Rob Thomas has perfected in years past. But when you see how twisted this bombing story turns out to be, in hindsight it’s understandable.

The Nostalgia Doesn’t Outweigh the Modernization

Longtime fans are already on the edge of their seats waiting for this revival and eager to figure out what is so “controversial” about it that warrants Bell’s contemplation of falling off of social media during its release (per an interview with E! News). While they will eat up every moment of the new series, Bell is not wrong in that this is arguably the most controversial season of Veronica Mars simply for the arcs in the storyline. With fellow critics having early-screening access and all eight episodes dropping on day one, caution is advised on social media and within articles, as this season is one you do not want to be spoiled on.

Albeit some pandering to LoVe-rs (the acronym for fans who ship Logan and Veronica), which I am all on board for, Veronica Mars isn’t willing to sacrifice its authenticity and realness simply to keep solidified fans happy. Veronica and Logan have been together for a solid five years now and with a particular state of affairs that arise, Veronica must fight a battle within herself and decide what’s more important: the love of her life or protecting herself from her fears? This is not a plot device created in order to cultivate some rundown teenage emotions, but rather to reflect on the characters we have come to know and love.

Veronica desires chaos because that is all she has known; she has found comfort in it and the only way she has learned to cope with life is by fighting that chaos. ‘Classic Logan’ is in reservation as he’s been working with a therapist, but that doesn’t mean we don’t see those sparks inside of him. For what it’s worth, this is the most likeable and stable Logan has ever been. The chemistry between Bell and Dohring on-screen is on fire more than ever before, and they’re much more compelling now that they’re adults with real issues to discuss.

Hulu doesn’t try to recapture the exact essence of the original three seasons and film, which may be somewhat jarring to old fans. This is new, this is different, and this is an emotional roller coaster you need to prepare yourself for in a completely different way. Thomas and Ruggiero-Wright have managed to take the crux of Veronica Mars & Co., encapsulating who she is and what built her to this phase in life, and expand upon it.

We’re no longer looking at a teenage girl whose life is constantly at battles with every rich kid who wants to dual it out, but we still have good ‘ole Veronica Mars. She’s the same in the way that she still has a hard time letting her guard down – both physically and emotionally – and will smack you in the face with her brutal honesty like a baseball coming out of left field. But Veronica is grown up and we needed this version of her. Sure, they could recycle the same character and we’d still love it, but Veronica aging and growing with her original viewers is a great way to give a nod to those fans and simultaneously grow the show.

New Players Pull Up Their Sleeves and the Old Ones Need More Face Time

When Veronica Mars originally aired, there was an overwhelming number of guest stars on the show that later became top notch actors/actresses. Season four’s casting announcements have generated huge buzz, from big names like J.K. Simmons to Patton Oswalt, and Kirby Howell-Baptiste to Clifton Collins Jr as guest stars.

Simmons plays Clyde Pickett, an ex-con who works for Richard Casablancas a.k.a. “Big Dick (David Starzyk) after meeting during their incarceration in Chino. The two are an entertaining pair who receive a huge chunk of screentime but in relevancy to the over-arching story. You know they’re good when they can fit naturally into the Mars world and hold a light to the insanely talented OG casting. A handful of other guest appearances from the original to tease the fandom will leave you with your hands in the air cheering and send your heart racing (good and bad).

Other criminal syndicates include the fantastic addition of Alonzo (Clifton Collins Jr.), who manages to bring laughter and fun to a character that is a literal drug cartel hitman for El Despiadado.

Alonzo and his new partner are in Neptune looking for the at-fault bomber that killed his boss’s nephew. Unfortunately, the El Despiadado storyline is pretty minute and would be a fun side-story to pursue in the next season. If you’ve seen Collins’ other work, you know just how talented he is, and his persona here is no exception. The vicious and brutal pair might give you a chuckle but you know they mean business.

Two other characters that definitely received their fair amount of attention is Patton Oswalt’s Penn Epner and Kirby Howell-Baptiste’s Nicole. Oswalt is a Cho’s Pizza delivery driver (yes, THAT Cho’s), a true crime obsessee and “murder-head” participant. He’s the kind of pain in the arse we love to have around.

But Nicole. What a character. She’s a strong-willed (and seemingly strong-fisted) business owner of the local spring breaker bar, making waves calling out Big Dick and punching douchebag guys in her establishment. Big Dick is advocating for a movement (N.U.T.S) which seeks to remove the spring-breakers and their trash behavior from Neptune, but he also wants to buy up the real estate on the boardwalk, including that of Matty Ross (Izabela Vidovic).

Matty is the deceased motel manager’s daughter and now property owner of Sea Sprite Motel (somehow, even though she’s still in high school). As V’s new protege, Matty seems to have the same lived experiences as Veronica, leading her to the same determined and resiliant personality that Veronica most definitely can resonate with. She’s an entertaining watch when she gets her screen time, but with as much is packed in to this 8 episode mini-series, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time for the characters growing on us and those we remember with a fondness – like Weevil and Wallace.

Wallace is living his best life – married with a son (who happens to be played by Percy’s ACTUAL daughter) – and working at Neptune High. The absolute disappointment here is that we just don’t get enough of him. We spend so much time focusing on the case at hand and the LoVe relationship, it’s like Wallace was cast to the side a bit. While we can all certainly relate to getting older and losing touch with our close friends, it seems odd that Wallace wouldn’t want to extend his help with this case or that Veronica wouldn’t want to rely on him for some advice. This is the biggest letdown in the revival.

And then there’s Weevil (Francis Capra). Why is he one of the most underrated and incredible castings on the show? Probably because he has a deep heart of gold, he’s beyond loyal to Veronica, and Capra knows how to steal the show with a powerful performance. But again, this is another character we needed more of. One of the most beloved in the show and a character that’s still integral to this storyline, Weevil feels underserved and underutilized.

A Girl Needs Closure

There’s no doubt that this is top-tier content from within the Veronica Mars world, a needed step up from season 3 and the film. But if you’re a marshmallow Weevil’s been loving long time, you’ll need to accept what the writers are doing here and understand why.

It’s not sunshine and rainbows. Rob Thomas always desired Veronica Mars be a dark noir and season four absolutely delivers on this principle. It’s a worthwhile investment that most definitely has a clear conclusion, but with enough content and characters that if Hulu were to appease us, a fifth season is a must.

The shocking ending will leave you speechless and have you wondering how Veronica could possibly recover, taking us back to the roots of what makes Ms. Mars the person she is. As V herself said in season one, “Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you’re like me, you just keep chasing the storm. The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree, a girl needs closure.”

With edgier and more adult content, Veronica Mars is cussin’ back with Mr. Sparky (her taser) in her hand and dusting the wreckage off her shoulders. The private eye achieves her closure, and we are left with enough hope that Mars Investigations will soon be back in business.

[panelbypanelshow]

Why I’m Excited for “Crisis On Infinite Earths”

With the premier of the “Crisis On Infinite Earths” fast approaching, I recently began to reflect on why I’m so excited for it. Sure, I’m an avid Superman and DC comics fan and Crisis is an iconic story, but it’s more than that.

If you were to ask me “When did you know you were a Superman fan?” I would say, “Somewhere between 7 and 8 years old when my upstairs neighbor gave me his copy of The Death of Superman trade paperback.” Of course, at that age, I didn’t know what a “trade paperback” was. To me, it was a comic book; and like so many other children have done with their favorite comics, books, and toys, I carried it everywhere and read it to the point that I nearly had it memorized. I still have it. It’s beat to hell; but it’s bagged, boarded and stored in a safe place.

My copies of The Death of Superman TPBs. The one on the left I took everywhere with me when I was a boy. 

If you asked me when I became a serious Superman fan and collector I would tell you “My 14th birthday, February 2000.”

My Aunt Susan gave me the Superman Masterpiece Collection for my birthday that year. The set came with a reprinted copy of Superman #1 (printed to the exact specifications of the comic books of that era), a hardcover book chronicling Superman’s Golden Age, and a limited edition statue designed by Alex Ross, made available only with that set.

I still have that, too. It’s a little worn along the edges and corners, but otherwise in excellent shape. I keep it on top of my bookcase. It’s one of my favorite pieces of memorabilia.

Even then, as much as I enjoyed comic books, I only saw them as a form of escapism; another way to keep people entertained. With explosions, science fiction, action, adventure, and romance; it was the modern version of the Greek mythology stories I read as a boy. They were a great way to keep myself entertained but not much else.

That perception changed when shortly after I graduated high school in 2004. I had received, among many other gifts, Barnes and Noble gift cards at my graduation party; and when I redeemed them, there were only two books I had my eye on:

Crisis On Infinite Earths (1985) and Kingdom Come (1996)

Crisis on Infinite Earths brought a new perception to these fictional characters that I had never before considered. There was depth, drama, and serious world-ending – in this case universe-ending – stakes. Universes were literally obliterated from existence , beloved characters were killed off, and the DC Universe was never the same again.

George Perez even introduced a character, Pariah, whose sole purpose was to witness the destruction of every universe, particularly every Earth, with no way to warn or save anyone. I even remember my jaw dropping at the beginning of the story when Earth 3, the home of the Crime Syndicate of Amerika – evil alternate versions of the Justice League, kicked off the story by being destroyed.

Crisis on Infinite Earths saw the teaming up of characters of the same name from different Earths with similar, but still different, backstories and abilities. The Superman of Earth 2, for example, was the Golden Age Superman; who’s abilities are limited to that of early Superman stories, “faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.” While the Earth 1 Superman was the modern incarnation with all of the abilities we are familiar with today, namely flight.

What made Crisis so successful, however, wasn’t just that there were variations of the same characters fighting side-by-side to save the multiverse from being wiped from existence, but that no one is safe. One of the most iconic covers of all-time is Crisis on Infinite Earths #7.

Cover of Crisis On Infinite Earths #7. 

That basic design, a hero holding the body of a partner/friend/lover, has been used all throughout comic books; but Crisis on Infinite Earths #7 remains iconic not just because it features the world’s most powerful hero holding the dead body of his cousin, who’s abilities are nearly equal to his, reduced to a groveling mess, but because it was proof that absolutely no one was safe. By issue 7, everyone knew the stakes, and the heat was on.

What made Supergirl’s death so memorable and iconic, however, wasn’t just that she died in battle, but that she sacrificed herself, knowing what she was doing would kill her.

Following Crisis, DC rebooted the entire universe and in that reboot, they intended the Superman to be the last Kryptonian rather than the last son. So rather than letting Supergirl become another faceless casualty, she received a hero’s  farewell by protecting her cousin - the entire reason she was sent to Earth in the first place.

The death of Kara Zor-El.

The story didn’t slow down there, either, the following issue saw the death of Barry Allen, A.K.A. The Flash. While the cover isn’t nearly as iconic as the previous, Barry’s death is because it, again, involves self-sacrifice.

Cover of Crisis On Infinite Earths #8.

Throughout the story, Barry’s “ghost” would occasionally pop up, looking less and less ghastly each time; and that was finally explained in issue #8 when Barry ran to create a speed vortex that would draw power from the weapon designed to destroy Earth. The power became too much for his body to handle and he literally ran backwards in time until he disintegrated and became the very lightning bolt that gave him his abilities.

The Death of Barry Allen.

Crisis On Infinite Earths upped the ante in comic book storytelling. It showed that just because the characters aren’t real doesn’t mean they’re immortal and, more importantly, it shows that we can feel connected to them just like we get with a character in our favorite TV show. When I finished reading Crisis I began to take a deeper look at comic book characters and was able to identify what made each character great and different in their own way. Sure, Batman has the money, gadgets, and the car - but it doesn’t mean he won’t long for his parents anytime he sees Superman with Jonathan and Martha. There is much more to comic books than colorful costumes and wacky villains; and it was Crisis On Infinite Earths that helped me realize that.

After Crisis, I picked up Kingdom Come.

Wow.

Let me say that again.

Wow.

Putting aside the writing for now. The art alone is enough to sell the book. Alex Ross is a legend, and his art speaks for itself. I had only ever seen his work in single images, not in comic book panels and I was in awe with how well everything seamlessly flowed together. To this day, Alex Ross’ work in Kingdom Come is among my favorites and will always hold a very special place in my heart.

Now. The story.

Mark Waid could walk into a convention and my heart would stop.

He ranks among some of the very best comic book writers and when you read Kingdom Come, you’ll see why.

Like Crisis On Infinite Earths, Kingdom Come opened my eyes in comic book storytelling that I had never before considered; this time with politics. In my last YouTube video, I talked about how comic books have always been, in some way, political. As children we don’t notice it as much but when we grow, mature, and begin to notice how the world works, we finally become aware of topics we were blissfully unaware of as children. Politics in comic books is one of them.

With Kingdom Come the politics covers not only generational gaps between yesterday’s heroes and the story’s current heroes, but we also see the government get involved out of fear of the destruction the two groups of heroes could cause should they not resolve their differences. Within that narrative was the conflict occurring among the primary characters. Superman and Wonder Woman, while working together, did not see eye-to-eye, Batman wanted nothing to do with their efforts while (shockingly) assembling his own team in accordance with his own plan that involved Lex Luthor and other classic supervillains, and a brainwashed demigod as the wildcard.

Most of all, the story portrayed a war and how the biggest victims aren’t those fighting in it, but those they claim to be fighting for; the unintended casualties. Sure, we feel for the casualties of the war, but it wasn’t until an enraged Superman nearly brought the roof down on the government who did what they did not out of malice, but fear.

Superman nearly loses control in Kingdom Come #4. 

Kingdom Come is easily one of the most powerful stories I have ever read and remains in my top 3 favorite stories. It’s one that I would recommend to anyone, even if they aren’t a comic book fan. Hell, the first Superman shirt I ever bought for myself was Kingdom Come.

I need to get a new one.

Then there’s Brandon Routh.

Routh (rhymes with “south”) was cast to play Superman in 2006’s Superman Returns. While the movie itself was a bit of a disappointment and divisive amongst fans, Routh’s performance as the Man of Steel was not.

Brandon Routh as Superman in 2006’s Superman Returns. 

I was 18 and in my first semester of college when the news of Routh’s casting hit. I was excited. Excited that he was an unknown actor. Excited that he was young and that a franchise could be built around him, excited that he grew up a Superman fan, excited that – like me – he grew up in a part of the country where Superman’s values are ingrained in everyday life. I was truly excited, even if other Superman fans weren’t.

Brandon Routh received, in my opinion, an unfair amount of criticism when he was cast, when pictures of him in the suit were released, when trailers were released, when the movie was released, and even to this day. Honestly, I feel fans and critics weren’t willing to give him a fair chance because he wasn’t Christopher Reeve and was compared to Reeve before the first picture of him in the suit was released. I was one of those fans who tirelessly defended him on the internet. I was insulted by fans, my family was insulted, called names, I was even accused of not being a “real Superman fan” because I was giving the movie my support. I was young, though, and didn’t realize then how pointless it was to argue over the internet; so I kept at it.

I was so excited for the movie I ordered my ticket for opening day the day tickets went on sale. I set out the Superman shirt I wanted to wear to the movie, drove an hour and a half from Limon, CO to Denver to see it, and arrived early to make sure I got a good seat. I had waited my entire life to see Superman on the silver screen and nothing was going to stop me from making it the best experience possible.

I’ll be honest. I enjoyed the movie. I was a bit underwhelmed because I had hoped for more action sequences and felt the story could have been stronger; but that didn’t stop me from walking out of the theater with a smile on my face, seeing it a second time, or looking forward to what the sequel had in store. Hell, at the time Superman Returns came out, I was an aspiring actor and I DREAMED of being cast as John Corben, also known as Metallo, in the Superman Returns sequel and going blow-to-blow with Routh’s Superman.

Ultimately, I think the premise had more to do with my excitement than anything else. I loved – LOVED ­– the idea of Superman being gone for 5 years and returning to a different world; especially with everything the world had been dealing with between 2000-2006.

From Superman Returns. The date of the article is March 3, 2000. 

What if we had Superman on 9/11? What would have been different? How many lives would have saved? Would he have stopped the second plane from hitting the south tower? Would he have prevented it altogether? There was so much that could have been done with that premise that, I feel, was left on the table.

To this day, I believe that instead of being a continuation of the Christopher Reeve films (a decision I supported at the time) I think Superman Returns should have featured a young Superman who fled back to Krypton when he heard the rumor it might still be there. Jason should have been Lois and Richard’s child, Martha should have died while Superman was away, Lex Luthor or Cadmus Labs (both?) should have been trying to clone their own Superman that would turn into Bizarro, Superman should have spent less time pining over his lost love with Lois, and I have always, and firmly, believed there should have been a scene of Clark sitting alone in the Daily Planet film room, glasses in hand and tears in his eyes, watching footage of the September 11th terrorist attacks. Those elements would not only have given Superman Returns a stronger story, it would have made him much more relatable to the casual moviegoer and still would have provided plenty of action for fans.

Despite all of that. I still enjoyed the movie. I enjoyed it so much that when it was available for pre-order on Amazon, I bought the Two-Disc Special Edition.

I still have it.

 When Routh made an appearance at Rose City Comic Con in 2018, I made damn sure I met him.

He signed my copy of the Superman Returns comic book adaptation and I’m still geeking out about it.

Of everything I enjoyed in Superman Returns, the plane sequence, the bank robbery, Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor, Superman flying around saving the city; if I had to pick one thing that I enjoyed the most in the film, it would be Routh himself. While his portrayal of Clark Kent was clearly inspired by Christopher Reeve, his Superman is where he shined. He stood tall, walked and spoke with confidence, and could intimidate someone by his presence alone – until he smiled that warm Superman smile and said something that would calm even the most nervous person like he did with an upset Lois Lane on the roof of the Daily Planet.

“Will I see you around?”

“I’m always around.” 

Because Superman Returns didn’t fare as well in the box office as the studio had hoped, the sequel never happened and that was the end of Routh’s tenure as Superman. I was disappointed, but I understood. It’s a business. Making money comes first and Superman Returns, while profitable, didn’t make nearly enough.

Time marches on and we got more comic book adaptations. Smallville continued for another 5 seasons, ending its run after season 10 and inspiring a spin-off series about the Green Arrow, inspired by Justin Hartley’s popularity of the character in Smallville. Arrow, set apart from the Smallville series, came out swinging and quickly rose in popularity. Then in season 2, came future superheroes as recurring characters: Barry Allen, played by Grant Gustin, and Ray Palmer, played by Brandon Routh.

I was SO excited to see Routh back in the comic book medium. The only thing that would have made me happier was if they brought him back to play Superman; but alas, I knew it didn’t fit with Arrow’s reality.

Routh’s performance as Ray Palmer was different than I expected. Ray always came off as a serious character in the stories I read, not as the “Aw shucks” kind of person Routh portrays him as. It made sense, though. Stephen Amell’s Oliver Queen had enough serious to go around for everyone; there needed to be a lighthearted superhero to balance that – like Superman is to Batman.

It worked too! Routh became popular on the show and before too long, was starring alongside other actors who portrayed those lesser known heroes in Legends of Tomorrow. As the Arrowverse continued to up the ante and bring in other shows and characters, so did the expectations; and like the comics the shows are based on, annual crossovers became a thing.

They started small with the first 2 being two-parters with The Flash and Arrow, then expanded across all four shows for Invasion! and Crisis on Earth X, dropped to a 3-parter with Elseworlds while also setting up the Batwoman series, to an epic five-part series based on one of the most iconic stories of all time that showed me how serious comic book storytelling could be.

Then there’s Brandon Routh.

Not only is he returning to play Superman, he’s playing the Kingdom Come Superman! 

I can’t take it anymore. Seriously.

The first actor I ever saw play Superman in theaters – the first Superman actor I have ever met in person, is playing the version of Superman that helped me realize the kind of message that comic books can tell, in an adaptation of an iconic story that showed how serious a comic book can get. Both of those stories, Kingdom Come and Crisis On Infinite Earths, made me into a comic book fan. Not just a Superman fan, but a comic book fan.

Now I have another comic book that I need to get signed by Routh the next time he visits the Pacific Northwest:

It’s gonna happen – and I’ll be sure to get a picture with him while wearing a Kingdom Come Superman shirt.

Fans can always remember what made them fans of their fandom. Crisis on Infinite Earths and Kingdom Come is that for me. Add the casting of Brandon Routh as Superman in Superman Returns shortly after reading those two iconic stories, and It was a done deal for me.

Seeing all of these impactful moments that helped mold my fandom being rolled together like this is, to say the least, emotional. Never in my life did I expect to see any type of live action adaptation of Kingdom Come or Crisis On Infinite Earths; and I certainly never imagined I’d see Brandon Routh play Superman again. It really is a fanboy’s dream come true.

The only thing that could make it better, for me anyway, would be if Routh’s final line as Superman is his best line as Superman:

“I’m always around.”

[darkshrimpemotions]

Listen fam, I know we've all been queerbaited by Supernatural for so long it feels like they owe us some damn closure, but fuck 'em. There are shows out there giving us canonical queerness. We don't need their knockoff shit anymore.

Like...at some point, I personally attached a lot of significance to Dean being confirmed bisexual in canon. It felt really important to me, like out-of-proportion important. Like it would prove something, if he were bi in canon.

Probably because I identified with the character so much, I had just come out, and because the people smugly telling me I was "reading too much into it" were the same people questioning whether I was bisexual or just "fucked up in the head."

And honestly, too, coming off Glee it felt like actual rep was something we would never get again on any large scale. Like every showrunner would point to Glee and its grand total of a half dozen queers and go "what more do you want? We've filled our quota! Why does everything have to be gay?"

But then Teen Wolf had a few gay characters. And Wynonna Earp does, too. And Legends of Tomorrow, Arrow, and Supergirl.

And I can pinpoint for you the exact second Supernatural's queerbaiting stopped being my be-all and end-all of Real Representation That Would Mean Something And Change Things.

It was when Sara Lance rose from the dead and became one of the lead characters of her own show.

Suddenly, I had an actually bisexual character to identify with. And Dean Winchester became, well...not less beloved. But less vital. Less important from the representation angle. Because, to paraphrase one of my less favorite Jensen comments: he wasn't real.

But Sara was. Sara was real representation. A bisexual character, confirmed in canon. Someone who couldn't be waved off as fangirls' over-analysis. Someone whose presence on screen every week started to change the way my straight friends and family talked about and thought about queerness.

And she's the tip of the iceberg.

In addition to those I mentioned above, Midnight Texas has a gay married couple, an angel and a demon. A gay angel married to a gay demon, guys! It's like a fic came to life.

The new Star Trek has canonically queer characters. Black Lightning has a superhero lesbian. Lucifer, Gotham, Brooklyn 99, Person of Interest, How to Get Away With Murder, Hannibal, The Bold Type, The Magicians, Shadowhunters! All have canonically queer characters and ships! And that's just the stuff I personally enjoy from the major networks (and Syfy and the CW).

That doesn't even touch streaming service original content, like Sense8 and One Day At A Time on Netflix. Or Showtime shows like Black Sails (nearly everyone is queer) and Lost Girl (a solid half the characters are queer, including the main protagonist).

Or kids' shows that are breaking barriers, like Gravity Falls (on the very light end, just side characters with a running relationship throughout the series) and Steven Universe (literally every major character is a wlw except for one).

All of these shows and more are providing real representation. None of it is perfect. Some of it may not be your cup of tea, story or genre-wise. But it's real. And it's across enough genres that there is almost certainly something for everyone.

I'm not saying don't ship Destiel, or don't hold creators accountable for queerbaiting. I'm not even saying don't enjoy the moments of queer coding when they happen.

I'm just saying don't pour all your energy into a show, character, or ship that doesn't treat you well when there are so many great shows out there that do. I'm saying don't listen to a lead actor with a lot of sway over a character's development express disdain for your ship publicly and keep pretending that doesn't matter to how we interpret the queer coding.

I'm saying if they queerbait us into the sunset, until the final strains of "Carry On, Wayward Son" fade into the distance at the end of the very last episode...it will be okay. It won't ruin or break anything. It won't take anything away from us, at least not anything that was ever real to begin with. We will still have fanon, and fanworks, and to hell with that canon.

Because there is a whole world of other canons out there that are offering something real.

[when-they-go-2low]

About PT and Paedophilia

Before I address anything else, I think we should probably give a touch on when-they-go-low / its-going-to-be-okay-love (commonly known as PT or HN) re: paedophilia and her attempted defense.

This is not a parody post or meant to be entertaining. This is as serious as it gets and I encourage everyone to at least skim this.

As anyone who follows me knows, I have stated that I believe she is a paedophile here. While I was not the person who messaged her earlier about this (some of which I don’t have any particular interest in detailing i.e. discussion about contraception etc.) it did allow PT to make some more paedophilic or paedophilic sympathizing statements.

Her condensed response was such as:

“If teen characters do it, it should not be when they are played by adults. I think it’s fine for teens to have sex.”.

“I want to see teen sex explored on more TV shows by teen actors. I want the topic explored by people who are the ages of the characters they play.”

So PT would rather see underage minors engage in sexual activities than adults. Got it.

“And I very much do want Finn ((Wolfhard, age 15)) to have a sex scene. Do I want it to be sensual or whatever, NO, never. I want it to be awkward as fuck and the actual sex to be implied and not shown, but do I want to see clothes on the floor, yes, very much.” 

This is beyond creepy. So just as long as the sex is awkward, it’s okay. Take into consideration this very well could be a sexual kink for PT.

“No, child pornography is PORN. There is no nudity. If it would be child pornography then you are saying that currently it’s just straight pornography. Which, it’s close, but it’s not.“ 

So as long as there is no nudity, PT is okay with sexualizing children and teens portraying the act of sex on television. But I mean hey, no boobs or penis so we’re all good here right? Nothing attracting to Paedophiles!

“Uhhhh. I think being told what to do and when is what scars you. Just like people whose parents allow them to start drinking younger usually end up having fewer problems with alcohol (WRONG, addiction is largely genetic, please do some research before blatantly lying.), being taught that sex is okay at a younger age will probably bring down cheating and promiscuity.” (Also WRONG, having sex at an earlier age does in no way somehow inhibit you from engaging in more sex or from being unfaithful at a later age. Her claiming this is not only statistically WRONG but also absurd.)

And Uhhhh, that’s basically what childhood is supposed to be? Parents are supposed to tell the child to eat their vegetables and do their homework and chores, even if they don’t want to. So being told by an parent or teacher, who knows better than the child does that they shouldn’t have sex before they are ready, will turn them in sexually crazed whores? Wrong. Now there are some insane abstinence teachings that are proven to not work, but in this day and age of internet, if kids need to learn about sex education, there are plenty of resources they can access at a school library.

Sure, there is a lot of filler explanation going on in her posts that attempts to justify this grossly incorrect belief, and they weren’t included because they were non-reasons,for starters, but it comes down to something incredibly simple: 

If the actor is a minor, they are considered a child. You want children to pretend to have sex on public television/movies to normalize this mature act to kids as young as the age of 11 (which you admitted, though who knows if you think even younger is okay - and that’s horrifying). 

If you say you want something that is ‘close, but it’s not’ to porn regarding child actors, you are in the wrong. That you’d rather have children doing the act that’s ‘close but it’s not’ to porn than adults because ‘it’s more realistic!’ and you want the director to show these minors’ actual quote: ‘facial expressions during foreplay or even just trying to understand what the fuck is going on’ you are in the wrong. 

Showing something like that will always be sexual, because it’s portraying a sexual act, you absolute idiot.

There is literally no way to come back from the aforementioned and be right, and I’ll explain.

Having minors portray the act of sex, even if there is no nudity, is normalizing child pornography and the exploitation of minors to paedophiles. Here’s the first and the most important reason why:

By exposing minors to watching their favourite characters have sex at such seriously questionable young ages as you have suggested in the past (16 years old to the much younger 11, as you’ve stated previously) you are making it directly easier for them to be manipulated and sexually abused by paedophiles. 

It doesn’t matter if there isn’t nudity, it’s the implied act and children becoming aware of it. It becomes that much easier for a child abuser to turn that adoration of their most beloved characters into ‘hey, your favourite couple from the Disney channel had sex, don’t you want to try it? It’s okay, see they did it. Don’t you want to be like them?

It’s that easy for some kids, the fact you don’t know this is telling. This would inevitably be the result of what you are suggesting, and even if ONE child is manipulated because of it, that’s far too many. How is there anything unclear about that? 

Full stop. 

I shouldn’t even need to go on here, but unfortunately, because of PT, I do.

Minors are protected by laws from this FOR A REASON. Just because their bodies are going through or have gone through puberty does not mean that they are emotionally ready to undergo the act of sexual exploration and all the mental and physical repercussions that come with it. Suggesting that their peers on TV are doing it is instilling a belief that they are somehow wrong in not doing it. 

In reverse to this, if a preteen (possibly 11 years old, like PT has suggested, but we’ll get to that) or a teen is having sex and is uncomfortable and is wondering if what they are doing is right, that may an indicator that they aren’t emotionally mature enough to be having sex. PT seems to be under the assumption that every teen needs sexual guidance from TV. That’s an uninformed opinion and nothing based in fact.

Don’t misunderstand, sexual education to teens is seriously in need of reform. The idea that teens who are more mature, such as 16 and older, should be informed that sex isn’t a taboo isn’t a bad in concept, but PT is firstly under the impression that corporately monopolized mass media is responsible and suitable for the sexual education of U.S.A’s youth. Hint, it’s not. I certainly don’t want the sexual education of the younger generation puppeteered by the hands of a fucking white male CEO of a TV show, And that’s exactly what you’re suggesting, PT.

Secondly, and I may be burying the lede here, PT isn’t talking about 16 year olds:

Just because you “claim” you didn’t find actual children, who are unable to legitimately consent to the action of doing something that sexual on film  (and can only do so with parent consent, which isn’t always in the kid’s best interest)  doesn’t for a second mean that others didn’t, you idiot, that’s called trying to use a biased opinion as fact. You analyse everything, how can you possibly ignore this violation of children? Oh yeah, it feeds into your narrative, that’s why.

Again, here you are offering a sympathetic ear to paedophiles, who’d claim the same sentiment: “It’s realistic, normal, natural!”. You watched two male eleven year olds make out and take their clothes off on screen. Please, explain to me how paedophiles wouldn’t find that sexual. Please, I’m dead serious PT. I never had you blocked. Explain. Yourself. Message me. I’m all ears.

Additionally, what “Scared of sexuality” in America. I’m fucking sorry, have you walked past a magazine stand lately? Seen a teen movie in the last decade? America is in NO way scared of sexuality, we’re hypersexual and that’s a huge issue in why teen eating disorders and pregnancy is where it is. We literally have a show dedicated to and glorifying  teen pregnancy right now. We need a full spectrum of sexual education is schools, humanitarian funded volunteer programs or online classes and to decrease the portrayal of sex seen by teens on TV. 

Here you are so dedicated to outing potential gays publicly online and claiming to help preteens with sexuality via biased anaylese, when you could actually be helping in your own community. Don’t bullshit yourself or me, you’re not active in your community. It’s easier this way, and you delusionally think a celebrity reads your blog. Guess what. Several people from Vancouver read my shit too. That doesn’t mean I assume they’re fucking famous, you naive celebrity worshiper.

There are so many kids/teen shows that have shown healthy and age appropriate depictions of relationships without making it the preteen smut you are literally suggesting. It’s not normal for minors to be having casual sex to figure themselves out. Mental maturity is just as big of a roll as physical maturity is.

In terms of your issue with adults portraying teens having very censored sex on TV, it is utterly ridiculous (yes PT, that Betty/Jughead scene was extremely PG compared to Archie/Veronica ones, as well as 80% of the other shows on network television. You’re just butthurt it involved Cole). I don’t really see a need to talk about that, since I think everyone agrees that you have no reasoning or rational for stating watching adults do it is offensive when watching children do it is not.

Addition: Finn Wolfhard has specifically stated sexualizing him is creepy.

(Annnd Sidebar, friendly reminder PT also said this:)

‘Collection’ and ‘boys’ should never be in the same sentence like this. Also, he was poking fun at Hart, an adult. KJ likely thinks it’s funny to make his friends uncomfortable, he’s not turned on by it, pervert. But again, allow me to reiterate the word you’ve used more than once: ‘boys’.

With PT, if it's not paedophilia it's infantilizism of adult males. She also has stated she believes Cole calls KJ his ‘pup’.

But that’s aside the point, let’s get back to actual boys. 

In the end, your idea of what would help kids sexually not only puts them in more danger to paedophiles through emotional manipulation, it encouraged them to have sex before they are emotionally ready - because that’s what they saw on TV geared towards preteens and teens. Your idea of normalizing sex on TV using actual minors is vile. Just because you, an adult, childless ,woman thinks something should be normalized to children, doesn’t mean you have a right to dictate that onto other people’s kids and put that on public display on kid’s TV shows.

The only reason you even watch Andi Mack is because there’s a gay character in it and you fetishize gay individuals and potentially closeted couples, on TV and in real life. You’ve stated more than once previously that if Cole and KJ ‘were out’ you wouldn’t even really care about them. That’s fetishization, babe.

It’s clear, PT, that you do not have children and aside from those you manipulate online, do not know any kids. For that, at least, I am very glad. Please stay as far away from schools. Who knows, keep making statements like these and you might not have a choice.

I don’t know what kind of messed up upbringing you had, PT, but there are clear indicators here that you must have gone through something very sexually traumatizing to be making paedophilia sympathizing statements like these and to be trying to out actual potentially LGBTQIA people online. I really truly do encourage you to seek counseling. 

Again. I’ve never sent you hate and you’ve never been blocked. Wanna have a chat, I’ve been an open book this whole time, because I’m not afraid of an alternative opinion.

How ‘bout you, PTHN?

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews!: The Split Sword of Swanstatine! or Sometimes You Just Have to Punch Your Problems Away

The race for the missing mysteries takes Scrooge, the kids and a sorta hyjacked Lena and Violet to a mystical market to hunt down the pieces of the mythical sword of the warrior king swanstanine. Naturally a split artifact leads to a vignette episode as the kids pair up to find the pieces while Scrooge and Heron face off. Dewey and Webby face blindness, Louie and Violet face Louie’s reputation as an underworld kingpin, and Huey and Lena face Huey’s Feral Side. The race is on with full recap and spoilers under the cut. 

Not a lot of background here.. I was excited enough for this one as Steelbeak and Rockerduck came back, but I went from “This will be pretty good and oh look Flula Borg” to HOLY SHIT LENA AND VIOLET ARE BACK LET’S GO ALREADY. So yeah, there’s not a lot to get started here that can’t be done as we go, let’s get out there and talk about some ducktales.  We open in a vast marketplace whose name i’ve already forgotten.. it’s almost 4 in the morning here and I have terrible memory with name sometimes, I make no apologizes. Naturally given the big declaration at the end of the last episode the family is on the hunt for a missing mystery.. and Dewey is on the hunt for Street Meat, though Scrooge denies him any till they get the job done... I mean they can eat and go treasure hunting. They can do two things. Let him have some lamb dammit, spiced lamb is fucking delcious you monster! Or whatever that is the point is it’s larged, well seasoned and makes me hungry!  But starving his grandchildren aside, Scrooge has no doubt they can acomplish this as a family.. and then notices his future in laws are also there and his whole big speech game is thrown off by the question of why. To me it’s because we need more of them, quit old man your already 0-2 this episode, but turns out the explination is one of the funniest jokes of the season.. and this is a season that’s include “There now your susceptible to vampires”, “Yipiee Kai Yay Mr. Falcon!”, Darkwing’s Cookbook, Gene’s Soda Commerical, Gladstone having a mental breakdown over having to be a normal person, and Della trying to deflect the blame for traumatizing children. This bit is on par with that.  Violet explains that Scrooge told everyone to get on the plane. I assume Donald and Della are with their signifigant others, Beakly was getting some much needed therapy and Launchpad.. was flying the plane.. and also had Drake and Gosalyn with him because he double booked and had to take them with him to assist whatever ex of his is in trouble this week. Point is that bit’s freaking hilarious and Scrooge simply asks if they enjoy history and the answers are a predictable “Not really” from Lena, which given her own personal history is vast, terrible, and traumatizing up until the last year and her adoption by two gay men, relationship with a charming young lady, and gaining a beloved nerdy sister, that tracks. Violet of courser says it’s her life. Scrooge takes it: He’s used to having half his adventuring party either not caring about culture and history, the Saberwings just keep the average up. So Webby does the natural thing and tackle hugs her girlfriend and future sister in law while Scrooge smiles because why wouldn’t you. 

And I was happy about this: not just hte tackle hug, because that was precious, but Scrooge eagerly accepting them along for the ride. I was worried for half a second that as good as the gag was that’d be the episodes big underlying issue.. but nope, his confusion was more “Wait why are the extra children here”, than questions of worth and given their previous appearance had him willingly inviting them along, and Lena and Violet only opting out due to fears about her magic getting them all killed and to support her sister, it woudln’t of made any character sense for him not to, doubly so since their up against a shadowy organization of ruthless thugs. Granted Beakly likely sighed after returning from her midnight therapy and called the Saberwing parents by Ty and Indy are probably used to their daughter’s friends elderly Uncle taking them to strange places in the middle of the night by this point. I mean one of their daughters can turn bluper sayain now, the ship on normal behavior kind of sailed over a cliff a while ago. 

But Scrooge soon detects what he thinks is heron but is actually a woman who justifiably punches him. Turns out Heron was actually hiding in a stall though, and brought all her friends with her.. except Blot.. and while at first I was going to make a joke I realized they probably don’t want the guy who drains the magic out of everything near a magic artifact he’d probably destroy despite the consequences. So Bradford probably just sent him to murder the lucky charms leprechaun... he DOES have a life outside of trying to Murder scrooge... he can want to murder cereal mascots too. He’s a renascence evil mastermind. A sword fight ensues, with Scrooge telling the kids to pair up and go find the pieces while he keeps Heron busy. 

Cue Credits and cue the episode itself being split into three vignettes. I do love vignette episodes, episodes of half hour shows that split into 3 different stories taking place at the same time and break from the formula, with two of the best I can think of being the Avatar classic “Tales from Ba Sing Sei”, most famous for the really gutpunching bit with Iroh singing at his dead son’s grave.. jesus I teared up, not a joke or an exaggeration literally teared up, just thinking about it. On the opposite end we have the season 12 Simpson’s episode Trilogy of Error, which while during when the rot started to set in for the series is easily a classic on the sam tier as the first 10 seasons. It alfeatured an at the time young Daniel Radcliff as Lisa’s love interest, Marge getting accused of attempted murder after accidently chopping homer’s finger off, Bart and Milhouse turning informant ont he mob and  the tragic life of Linguo. It’s a classic. 

But yeah three pieces, three teams of two, and three story segments. So like last week I can easily divide the stories up and unlike last week I won’t be frontloading or forgetting anything since their divided up much more evenly and are played back to back to back rather than intercutting. So with that in mind...

Dewey and Webby: The Hidden Truths of Temporary Blindness and the Albino Snakes We Mistook for Cats Along the Way

The Dynamic Duo Returns! Seriously I did the legowork, I.e. went to google and despite the two’s dynamic being a sizeable part of season 1 and a plot point at the start of season 2, which also put the final nail in my shiping them coffin as it was very clear they were basically siblings in all but blood at this point and I wisely jumped off the ship and nuked it from orbit. But outside of Webby’s subplot with Dewey and Louie in “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!”, it just.. hasn’t come up again. They’ve just had other dynamics to explore with the show and thus the two really haven’t interacted as much for the rest of the series thus far. They still interact, it’s just not really as a major part of any episodes plot till now. So while not a pairing I was expecting it was nice to have it back. For about ten seconds.  Yeah cards on the table this is the weakest of the three segements. While the other two have intresting settings, setups, and character dynamics we genuinely haven’t seen this one has.. a weird version of a dynamic we’ve seen done better, and an antagonist who feels oddly flat this go round. It’s just not THAT intresting despite some intresting moments but it’s best to just get into it to explain why. 

The basic setup is Webby is hoping to use bold de-ducktion to figure things out while flying under the radar while Dewey’s solution is naturally to ask everyone they meet, and then shout at Gandra when they do find the piece. This naturally gets a flashbang thrown at them, though we do get one great bit where Gandra asses their threat levels with Webby’s being high and Dewey’s being Eh, which tracks. And the thing that stings here is.. Gandra COULD’VE been an intresting opponent for Webby. While Huey and Violet, being fellow genuises as well as Huey’s personal stake in it for her hurting Fenton last year/season would be a better match, pitting Webby against someone just as focused and thought out in fighting, but who rather than use strength uses cybernetics and various gadgets would be really intresting, especially since the other two villian matchups are equally perfect. But instead.. it just feels like Gandra could’ve been replaced with a random fowl soldier. She just uses a flash grenade and some pakour, no real unique skills of hers or insight into her character or anything remotley intresting on her first Fenton-less outing just... “eh I use tech stuff because i’m the tech girl bleh”. The show can do better, and Jameela is given nothing to work with to the point I genuinely worried she’d been replaced.. she hadn’t, but it’s NEVER a good sign when you give an actor so little to do character wise I can wonder that. Also it’s a bit of a nitpick but it genuinely bothers me that Flula Borg, John Hodgman and Jason Mantzokus all got guest star credits.. but April Winchel and Jameela Jamil got nothing. And you could say April’s a long standing voice actor and all that.. but Tress Macneile also got a guest starring credit for next week’s episode solicit, so it’s clearly not that, and just comes off unintetionally sexist and obnoxious and has bothered me since the episode summaries came out. 

That out of the way the basic conflict is our heroes are flying blind, literally, with Dewey able to easily amble along, while Webby struggles as she can’t analize blind.. which comes off as bullshit to me. I HIGHLY doubt Beakly, paraoid mess she is, would not train her granddaughter to be able to fight without seeing. It’s one of the most basic training techniques in media. There’s a reason it pops up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a lot. To fight on instinct and with your other senses. And the instinct part is the lesson and insn’t a bad idea, it’s just the tool they use for it means they have to make Webby entirely helpless in a way that’s nonsensical to her character to make the plot work and it drags the bit down, thoguh we do get an utterly hilarious bit where Dewey mistakes a coiled white snake for a kitten. But our heroes make it through, Webby eventually saves Dewey with a leap of faith and Dewey has Webby hit a flash grenade back at Gandra which works somehow and blinds her optics despite you know.. someone who uses this kind of tech probably being smart enough to protect her own cybernetic eyes from flashbangs. But the kids have the piece.. and  a snake now even if it terrifies them. I wish one of them had taken it home a snake fits either of them and Webby’s dealt with worse.. which is the whole problem with this segment. That being said getting to see Dewey pull a hank venture and turn his normal near-suicidal reckleness into a strength was great I just with it was framed in a way that wasn’t “plannig and knowing things is stupid USE IMPULSE”. Thankfully we can move on.  Louie and Violet: The Silver Tongued Viper and The Violet Blade versus the Billion Dollar Man

Next up is Violet and Louie, a team up I didn’t expect at all but works well, and is a much better contrast. Webby and Dewey are similar enough, despite his rampant stupidity, that having a “one side teaches the other how to use something else and tap into their inner self”lesson didn’t work> Here it works perfectly: Someone who speaks frankly and seeks the truth through reason and research paired with someone whose greatest and most cherished talent is the ablility to lie and swindle. It’s a good contrast. Their headed for the underworld since, as I forgot to mention, each of the clues is framed as coming from the heavens (the first piece being on top of a statue), the underworld and the heart of the earth.

 Violet, and understandbly given her sister is magic and the general nonsense the duck family runs into, takes the underworld part literally taking an axe and some coins to pay the ferryman with her. Louie however figures it’s usually just a flowry way of putting a con..  and while he’s wrong about mythology given the ducks have met gods and the ENTIRE next episode (which likely features selene since i’ts now established they leave out guest stars if there’s more than three apparently) is about the gods they met... his instincts are not wrong and it is nice they aren’t. Sure some myths are real but sometimes a clue isn’t literal, and it’s clever that hte underworld here is the criminal underworld. 

Turns out center piece for the sword is an underground den for the criminal underworld focused around spice eating and general no goodnik shenanigans and Louie’s come prepared. In a bit of character stuff I REALLY love, Louie’s built up a rep as “The Silver Tounged Serpent”, with him bluffing that violet is his companion, having simply used a web of lies and word of mouth to build him up as the worst and most vile criminal imaginable. It’s not a bad plan and while Violet rightly points out he’ll have to live up to it eventually, and Louie naturally deflects that as “Future Louie’s” problem, not realizing in this case Future Louie is about 2 minutes from being present Louie, it’s not a bad scheme. Sure it’s risky as hell and he picked the worst place to use it.. but having an alias he can use to sneak into places like this where Scrooge would be made in an instant, and can easily come up with lies for the rest of his family minus Huey, whose useless not for being easily detectable but because he can’t lie to save his life and this very episode cements it. Most of his family is certified grade a badass, and can easily help him bluff or back up his claims or make him look like one. it’s just this time he happened to get Violet instead whose brutally honest and while badass, isn’t great at running con games nor pleased about any of this. That and Louie’s biggest weakness is forthought: While his brothers either don’t plan at all or overplan, Louie underplans: He has good ideas and good schemes and scams.. it’s just he has no real endgame for any of them and Violet sees right through that.  Still meeting the Spice Baron, played by Flula Borg who I mostly know from this song he did with Ninja Sex Party, though I also forgot he was in PItch Perfect 2...

Your welcome. But while he’d like to give our fake arch criminal his prize, someone else already offered him a literal, not figurative ton of cocaine.. I mean Gold. Got the wrong show there for a second. Unsurprisingly it’s Rockerduck whose done this and unlike the wasted opprotunity above this battle of wits is between the perfect opponents. Rockerduck is easily what Louie would become without his family: A shifty conman with a flair for lying, contacts in the criminal underworld and aversion to doing the hard work himself. He’s such a perfect opponent for Louie I don’t know why I never considered the two going head to head before, but it’s utterly fantastic. John Hodgman is also far and away the MVP of the episode guest villain wise, with some of the best lines too, my favorite being, after making a spice pun, demanding the assorted roughnecks “Laugh, LAUGH AT MY SPICE PUN”.. just the way he demands it with a mixture of karen and a whiny teenager is inspiried. But yeah, Rockerduck knowing who he’s dealing with challenges Louie to a spice duel, basically eating the hottest spices imaginable till one folds, winner takes all.  Naturally Louie’s ep included being a champion at this, and naturally his first instincts are to bail and when that fails, keep lying while Violet encourages him not to. I mean he’s ignored the pink and red angels on his shoulder telling him not to do bad things, why would the new purple one be any different. But Rockerduck has the edge as his taste buds were burned off in cryo.. though in another great line he laments he can never enjoy hard boiled eggs again. Which fair enough but.. you know two geniuses.. one of them can simulate taste buds. Regardless, Louie’s in trouble and his attempt to simply cheat his way out fails and the baron dosen’t tolerate Cheaters.. or Cheetahs.. or Cheating Cheetahs as seen in a great sight gag with a cheetah which requires the Baron to clarify it’s both. Point is Louie is screwed.. but Violet then downs all three, without a bead of sweat for reasons the episode explains at the end of this segment, but works since we don’t know violet well and the mystery of how she did it is a compelling question for a second. Our heroes have won but Rockerduck plays his trump card: that they aren’t who their saying they are.. but turns out the truth is even better than the lies Louie has, as Violet quickly spins Louie’s legend with the outright acomplishments he’s had, including defeating the bombie and defeating Scrooge’s entire Rogue’s gallery with a pen stroke.. both true. And unlike the last segement this bit of true strength feels earned: Louie’s other ablility besides lying is seeing all the angles.. and thus like Violet.. he sees the truth. He can see what a person feels, know them better than they may know themselves or the lies they might tell themselves simply through a keen eye. He can pick apart a million dollar defense system simply with a few glances as seen last episode. Louie’s lies may be useful.. but his biggest strength is inddeed his ablility to see the truth. Louie backs violet up as conquerer of the shadow realm (techincally true) and scourge of magica de spell (not even remotely true as Magica has the same problem with face blindess scrooge has with Darkwing and just Darkwing but with everyone). Rockerduck tries to complain but the crowd turns on him, our heroes escape, and Louie compliments violet. As for how she did it meditation, which fits her pefectly so I easily accept it, and a spice of the month club.. which is oddly specific but eh, this bit was really fun so i’ll give it to her. Plus her usualy steely demanor means she likely has a great poker face.. as seen by the fact sh’es soon guling a nearbye trough of water and screaming. Great.  As you can tell I liked this segment better, as it’s a clever duel that uses wit instead of strength ilke the others this episode, and forces Louie to find his real strength as his usual one backfires and really helps define Violet even more giving her a strong sense of truth, which fits her like a glove, and a nice dynamic with Louie. It was an odd pairing, but it worked wonders and brought the episode back to life after the last segment killed some of the momentum. And thankfully that momentum keeps rolling into the best segement:

Huey and Lena: Harnessing Your Inner Feral Goblin Child for the Greater Good

As you’d expect, our heroes are doing what they do best: Lena is trying to reign in a quirky nerd, and Huey is overthinking everything by trying to triangulate where the blade of the sword is. Naturally Lena just finds it as it’s embeeded in a compasss pattern on the earth, hence being part of the earth. Unsurprisingly Lena’s solution.. is to wack it free with a mallet... you know there’s a reson she’s one of my favorites and it’s nice to see two of my faviorites who haven’t interacted hardly at all have some time together. Naturally Huey objects to destroying the thing they came for and figures out how to remove it using the clues. Unfortunately for him, but happily for me, Steelbeak is back! 

I missed this feral asshole, and Jason while not getting a ton of lines sadly, does make the best of what he has, and is used less as himself on purpose. Also while he’s still kind of a moron, as I mentioned in my Tiff of the Titans review, this version is still CLEVER. He may not be book smart, but he can think on his feet and come up with plans and here.. his plan was the best of the three we’ve seen: Just wait for the ducks to come by and solve it for him and then beat them up and take it or as he puts it “Not the first time a nerd did my homework for me. “ Dumb dosen’t always mean incompetent, and he still has his classic self’s easy sense of planning.  Had Lena not been there he would’ve won his piece and been the ONLY member of his group to do so. But Lena is there and now fully trained, so she stops steelbeak by freezing time, Za Warudo! style. Though unlike DIO she can’t manipulate anything, or go get a steam roller though given her powers she can probably make something into one, so tha’ts still on the table. She instead enters someone’s mindscape and uses that to freeze time for a bit.. how .. I have no idea, but it’s an interesting concept and the white look of the void their in now is neat, with only steelbeak himself present in a black and white negative of himself.  Huey takes this as time to plan indeiftely till he finds one that works, shooting down actually fighting Steelbeak as “a cowardly brute’s way out”. We then get a great montage as Huey tries everything, from reasoning, to barganing, to crying, to a TON of hilarious and obviously ineffectual disgusies, to lying.. which as you’d expect is simply holding the massive sword blade behind his back and going “what sword.” It’s a really great montage that shows off two things: Danny Pudi’s talent, and that Huey.. can’t reason or trick his way out of this. He can’t plan his way out. And that’s why Steelbeak is the perfect foe to put him up against: Unlike Webby who faced something she could understand and Louie, who simply faced his evil counterpart, Huey faces his exact oppsotie: Huey thrives on logic and as we soon learns bury’s his emotions and impulses and dosen’t fight unless he HAS TO and even then it’s usually in a group. Steelbeak.. is a dumb, impulsive, thug who thinks out his plans on the fly, if at all, laughs at logic, and thinks the best solution to everything is punch it or blow it up. He can’t be reasoned with, Huey isn’t good enough at deception to trick him, and outrunning him was the first thing Huey tried and failed miserably. Steelbeak is made of huey’s blind spot, his inablaity to act without thinking. And he can’t fight it. 

While Lena’s humored him despite her annoyance with Huey’s stubborness, she finally breaks and tries to force him to admit he has to brute force his way out, with Huey refusing.. but his refusal brings out a door to “the duke of making a mess”. Naturally something this ominous and personal, and the fact they have no other options and she wants to prove a point, is catnip to Lena who lets the king out.. who turns out to be what you’d get if Bart Simpson’s evil deformed twin Hugo and the messed up Dipper Clone from Gravity Falls did a fusion dance. While also in a nice nod looking VERY similar, with his broad fangs and red eyes, to the evil version of mickey from runaway brain. It’s also somehow the SECOND TIME i’ve seen a child supress his negative emotions to the point they manifested into a person shoved deep inside our hero’s head. Lena naturally loves this feral goblin who Huey explains as all his impulses and emotoins, his spur of the moemnt ones anyway, funneled into one being so he can use logic and only logic.  So basically.. Huey is bruce banner.. get.. this kid.. some therapy. 

Point is Huey dosen’t want to embrace his wild side, while Lena points out he needs to, and that sh’es learned from experince being a part of ones self someone ignored entirely as Magica’s shadow he can’t just ignore this and hope it goes away. And given Bruce Banner eventually got several more split personalities which turn into hulking rage monsters, which are a sadist with a good core, a raging child and a las vega leg breaker, and that KO repressing TKO just lead to his other half killing everything he loved and only getting that snapped back thanks to god himself... yeah maybe Lena’s right. And this really brilliantly plays into Lena’s development: Her past two episodes have been entirely about her solving a problem, her nightmares and her wondering magic, that she’s been running from by facing it. She’s learned by now you can’t just ignore something and expect it to go away. Again, that’s how you get Hulks. You have to face your sometimes literal demons and yourself to get better and make things better. And now she’s learned that, it’s Huey’s turn. His entire problem has been that he functions entirely on reason and when reason can’t work, he falls apart. It’s something I honed in on last week and has come up again. The point Lena, and the episode, is making with this bit is that sometimes you just have to trust yourself and go with your gut.  Huey, reluctnatly lets the duke out who goes Donald on Steelbeak... seriously while the big team shot of the cousins and triplets at the end of season 2 showed Huey as Fethry.. he’s easily the most Donald of the group. He’s considerate, romantic, seriously the date he set up for Fenton really was sweet and Violet is in for some very nice evenings.. but also stubborn, prone to mental breakdowns, badly needs therapy (which donald IS getting so there’s hope), and when angry is a demon sent straight from hell. I REALLY hope this gets pointed out at some point.  However without focus the Duke is useless so Lena convinces Huey that he needs to not fight the duke as some evil demonic part of him but accept him: USE his rationality and strategy with his more violent and angry impulses. The two reunite with a hand shake, seriously i’m getting so many KO and TKO vibes this episode what the actual hell, and thei rmerged self easily beats steelbeak witha  wedgie and tied shoelaces. It’s beautiful to see and Lena is brought to tears.  Before we get to the finale, this was EASILY the best segment, using Lena’s character growth to faciltiate Huey’s that’s been going on all season: making him see he needs to step out of his comfort zone of logic and accept his own inner strenght, his complete self, to really function. It’s good well done stuff and the setting is really intresting.  THE FINALE: You are my Inner Strength

So naturally all the parts come together as Scrooge and Heron’s fight lands near Huey and Lena with Webby, Dewey, Violet and Louie all showing up soon after. Scrooge in a really nice moment is  utterly proud of the kids, having had the utmost faith in them to get the pieces, and having his faith validated. He may be a cynical, sometimes assholish, old man.. but he loves and believes in his kids and future kids in law, he trusts them more than himself and he’s come far enough to not doubt them when he needs them most. FOWL however has regrouped, and Scrooge.. just gives them the assembled sword. Unsurprisingly, if still awesomely this is a ploy: Heron tries using the sword.. but it flies out of her hand and into Scrooges. He out gambited them. Also getting JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure vibes this episode with all the planning and counter planning and I am loving it. As he explains the sword reponds to true inner strength,  while heron is all surface level: All malice and schemes and nothing beneath her character, as are the others. There 3 dimensional characters.. but their all pretty open with who they are and not really open to introspection, where as our heroes are and thus grew.. and Scrooge already knows his inner strength: The kids. THey helped him  become a better person, all of them except violet and she just joined the family give her time. They’ve all helped him let his walls down and let people in again after the tragedy of della destroyed him emotionally and put the walls up thick, with Lena being the one to finally get him to destroy them for good. They’ve all helped him be better and he’s helped them all be better in turn, giving them a live of adventure where there their best selves and becoming great kids who will become incredible adults. Their love for one another is what drives them. And thus activates the sword. FOWL seemingly decides to just book and our heroes have won.  Scrooge rewards his kids, new additons included, with some street meat cut byt he sword, and we get nice little shots of the lessons having sunk in with Huey knawing into his like a rabid wolf and Dewey and Webby sharing theirs blindly i’ts a sweet conclusion to a fun episode. But given we’re in the thick of the story arc now, FOWL naturally didn’t just book it for no reason.. this was all a setup. Heron calls back to Bradford with a mission accomplished and a lock of scrooge’s feathers. 

It’s genuinely impressive as there’s no way F.O.W.L. can loose here: They win the sword.. and they have both the feathers for whatever nightmare they have planned for the Ducks, and another Missing Mystery for their grand scheme. They loose.. and they likely already have a plan to get any mysteries the ducks gather, just like last time, and they still get what they want. Either way Scrooge and the audience are unaware of the real plan, and FOWL is still ahead. 

Dew-abolical! 

Final Thoughts for the Episode as a Whole:

While a bit weaker than the last two weeks, and almost entirely thanks to the first segment, this episode is still a fun ride and a great way to kick things off now the ducks and F.O.W.L. are both on the offensive. It was also a great way to bring the Saberwing Sisters back and give them some fresh dynamics outside of Webby for a change, bring back some old faviorite vilians and in general pack a fun, Barks and Rosa style adventure story into the myth arc while still dripping with the character progression and dynamics this show lives for. One dark spot aside this really is a great episode, and the other two segements are clever and fun enough to easily ignore that. This season continues to be the show at it’s absolute peak doing what it’s always done best: taking the past and making something fantastic with it.  Next Week: The kids, sadly minus my girls, audition to replace Zeus! Horay! Finally Zeus got MeTooed! It took long enough.. I mean they wrote entire sonets about his sex crimes. This isn’t a Bill Cosby situation where it suprised the general public, no one liked him since greek times to begin with. Also DAISY RETURNS! Horay! And so does the incredible storkules, MASTER OF COCKBLOCKING!  Also Horay! Seriously unlike the last two blocks of episodes there’s not a one i’m not excited about in the bunch.  Until then you can check my blogs for more reviews, and I plan to do the first episode this month and adjust my patreon rewards accordingly. You can follow said patreon at pateron dot com/popculturebuffet, comission reviews of other ducktales or cartoon episodes for 5 dollars an episode by shooting me an ask or message on here, and get out and vote tomorrow.. that’s not related to me but given how crucial this election is. Do it get out and vote. Until we meet again it’s been a pleasure.