#characterization iis probably off

[paimonial-rage]

My favorite works in no particular order:

Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)

Symbiosis (Ayato)

What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)

Hello How Are You (Gorou)

Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)

Of the Same Coin (Mika)

Songs of the Wind (Venti)

Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)

Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)

Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)

[legobiwan]

Gravity Falls fic rec list...Part 2.

I should be grading writing right now, but in the spirit of procrastination, I'm going to instead post about my favorite new fics that have emerged in the post-Book of Bill era.

~~~~~~

Gen Fics

A Mariner’s Guide to the Unexplained by mariezies

Another fic that tackles the idea of Stan's criminal past coming back to haunt him as the elder Pines twins take to the sea. What I really like about this fic are Ford's inner monologues and in particular, the way he overthinks his interactions with his brother post-Weirdmaggedon due to the crushing level of guilt he feels. Bonus points for the incredibly adorable cat OC who joins the twins on the Stan o'War II. Incomplete.

We're Still Here by Simplistic_Apricity

What if Stan hadn't knocked Ford through the portal in 1982 and stuck around Gravity Falls instead? A bajillion fics have been written about this concept, but this one takes a slightly different approach as to the fallout from a Bill-possessed Ford attacking his brother as Ford slowly (slowly) comes to terms with what exactly he has wrought in that basement. The characterization and interactions of the twins and Fiddleford are incredibly grounded, avoiding melodrama while still being wildly effective. Incomplete. TWs for violence and medical trauma.

~~~~~~

Billford Fics

Not to sound like a 2013 hipster, but I do want to state that I hopped on this seafaring vessel pre-BoB and am delighted to witness the explosion of works exploring the demented, tortured relationship between these two absolute disasters. I've decided to let my cringe flag fly high and free here, with the caveat that I only indulge in triangle!Bill stories (accept no substitutions), as, let's face it, Ford is a freak (affectionate) and he loves his geometry.

Statement Abnegation by Anonymous

This one probably needs no introduction, but I'd be wholly remiss if I didn't include it on my list. A+ characterization of both Ford and Bill and it fucking nails the landing. Ford is taken prisoner during Weirdmaggedon, but this time Bill's playing for keeps. Complete. TWs for torture, death (temporary), Stockholm syndrome, and explicit sexual content.

apology tour by dolorous

There's something downright wistful about this story, which presents as "crack taken seriously" when Bill chooses Ford to be his keeper/chaperone as part of a Theraprism-mandated apology tour to those he has wronged post-BoB. Ford hates Bill. Ford sometimes doesn't hate Bill. Ford definitely hates Bill. And now they're stuck on the road trip from hell. Complete. Implied past (current/future?) relationship, no sexual content.

Then it becomes, it becomes, it becomes a problem by tempusedaxrerum

Takes place post-Betrayal but (so far) pre-Stanley arriving in Gravity Falls. Bill is determined to drag Ford into opening the Portal, kicking and screaming (limbs optional). Features an incredibly well-developed OC who is battling demons of her own when she has the misfortune of crossing paths with both Bill and Ford on a snowy evening in Oregon. Incomplete. TWs for violence, attempted sexual assault via possession, substance abuse.

Live, Laugh, Lather, Rinse, Repeat by ShibaIntuit

The conceit of this story is absolutely wild. Essentially, Ford eats a cursed piece of pizza and suffers from existential indigestion. The world-building once Ford is in the multiverse is delightful as an older Ford tries to renegotiate his past with a Bill Cipher of thirty years previous. Incomplete. TWs for violence.

as falls gravity so falls gravity falls by underwater_owl

A series of three stories that take a deep dive into Ford's subconscious while exploring the idea of the Axolotl placing Bill under Ford's mental power due to shenanigans you are better off reading about than me explaining here. Bait & Switch is the main narrative, which is a gen work featuring the whole extended Pines family plus Mabel and Dipper's mother, while Because & Despite and Cause & Effect explore the intense psychosexual relationship between Ford and Bill before and during the events of Bait & Switch. These last two stories really dig into the nature of Ford's deepest and darkest desires and the utterly twisted relationship between Ford and Bill. Incomplete. TWs for explicit sexual content (read the tags on those two last stories, folks! This author isn't, or is, I suppose, fucking around).

Snakes in the Garden by Miss_Ginger_Bread

Another Jimmy Snakes story! Because both Pines twins have terrible taste in men/demonic entities. A ghost from Stan's past shows up in Norway, prompting Ford to take matters into his own hands. Lovely interactions between the Pines twins, including a murderous, protective Ford and a Ford who is harboring a gigantic, triangle-shaped secret from his brother. Incomplete. TWs for abusive relationships.

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy Birthday to Seb, and Seb only.

+ some explanations

I realized as I was making this, some of the little stuff probably only makes sense to me, and maybe people who have been following me for a while atp. So I wanted to explain some of the little details I included cause I really love them!!

First of all, I wanted to incude my original sketch for this(from like 5 hours ago lmfao), bcs I find it sooooo cute. Look at him!! Little guy!

I. Fernando's Gift

This is of course a reference to the Fernando teddy bear, but more specifically to the vettonso comic with the bear I drew a while ago. As you can see from my sketch, this is the first gift I came up, which I'm pretty happy about!! It's always so cute to me no matter its form. Though...I don't think teddy bears existed yet in the early 1700s, but Fernando found a way, okay? I like to think Fernando is all gruff in the beginning, but gives Seb this or something similar and remarks "to keep you company when I'm back in Spain," and then he has to pretend he has food poisoning rather than living with having said something so sappy.

II. Mark's Gift

I don't think this is really a reference to any specific post of mine. Dog!Mark is just an important Mark characterization in general, but especially in boy king au where he is really reduced to the status of dog by virtue of his upbringing and vocation. He definitely plays this off as wanting Seb to get another hunting dog(something he advocates for often. Seb knows it's entirely self motivated but loves to humor him bcs its cute to see how much he loves dogs. Well Seb loves dogs too, one dog in particular-)

III. Jenson's Gift

AAAAHHHH I'm so proud of this one bcs of how many leves there are to it!! I couldn't for the life of me think of what Jense would gift him but then I remembered I characterize him as horse obsessed(read: ye olde carfucker.) So this is basically the ye olde version of him getting Seb ultra detailed minatures of his cars. HOWEVER this is also a callback to one of my favorite posts I've ever made, back when I translated Seb's car names into Latin. So it was fun to actually get to canonize that in a way. ALSO! BTW! Those horses are specifically Lipizzans, which are a very iconic horse breed in the Habsburg Empire and Vienna specifically. A horse breed sought after by the Habsburgs for both war but also riding schools, and they still remain as the breed of horse trained in Vienna's Spanish Riding School today. The emperor Seb is based on comissioned the school's main riding hall, and his portrait still hangs above where the riders enter. So I thought that was a fun little easter egg to include!

Also the characterization in this is so funny. I guess I'd consider them a polycule, like they're a unit and all have interesting relationships between each other. But one of the main focuses is the kinda love triangle between sebmarknando. Like Mark and Fernando constantly fighting for Seb'cs undivided affection and attention. But as per usual, Jenson, who is on the sidelines, swoops in effortlessly with the most perfect gift ever. I feel like he understands and gets along with Seb the best out of the three, but just doesn't want to deal with such a complicated thing so he's satisfied being a bit distant(he secretly takes a lot of joy one-upping the other two. It's impossible to not crave your ruler's attention, no?)

[stellamancer]

pairing: fem!reader x merman!satoru gojo

contents: more varying levels of anxiety from the reader, mentions of food and eating, satoru gojo is an absolute menace

notes: part ii! um, got a little delayed because i wanted to write a kiss scene... and also because i was fretting over characterization, over reader’s characteriztion, over gojo’s... he’s really hard to write i think. nuances, you know? hoping i did a good job. also somehow this chapter is?? longer?? than the last?? i’m surprised tbh. anyway, please enjoy. 

word count: 5.5k (who the hell am i???)

previous chapter || masterlist

You think you might have made a really, really big mistake. 

Last night, it didn't seem like a mistake, rather, it seemed like the right thing to do. Who knows who could have found him? What they would have with him? To him? It was better to have brought the merman home than to leave him to an uncertain and possibly cruel fate. You did the right thing; you were certain of it. 

At least, you were until you woke up, greeted by the merman's smooth voice and his blue, blue eyes. Ever since then, it’s just been one thing after another with him. 

Don't you know that merfolk need the water to be at a specific temperature?

Don't you know that the water needs to be at a certain salinity level?

Don't you know that thing you're keeping him in is far too small?

It's only been for a couple of hours, but you're already completely exhausted trying to keep up and accommodate his needs. To be honest, it's actually kind of overwhelming and you can't help but wonder if this is what it's like for people who adopt animals just because they think they're cute or something.

Not that you would call the merman cute. 

Especially not after he’s spent all morning basically mocking you for not knowing anything about merfolk. You didn’t even know they were real until last night, so how could you possibly know the optimal ambient water temperature for a merperson? But you're trying, and hopefully that counts for something. Which is why you're standing in the doorway of your bathroom, holding a platter with a single, whole, raw mackerel on it, its dead eyes boring into your very soul. 

Originally, you were going to grill the mackerel in question and have it for breakfast, but you’ve been so caught up in doing this and that for the merman that you haven’t had the time to eat, much less cook. It’s fine. You and Minori planned to meet up at that cafe off the beach that she likes, so you can just eat there even if you think their food sacrifices flavor for the sake of looking disgustingly photogenic.

Speaking of that, you should probably start getting ready soon. You’re supposed to meet up in a little over an hour, and you feel a little gross, still in the clothes you wore last night, plus you have no doubt that you absolutely need a shower, but before you can do any of that, you need to feed the merman.

His gaze zeroes in on the platter in your hands, realizing you heard him earlier (as if you couldn't— he's so very loud). He seems to perk up at the prospect of eating, but it doesn't last long as a frown settles across his features. You gulp. It feels like you're in for yet another merfolk lesson.

Finally, he asks, "Is that supposed to be… food?" 

You nod slowly.

"For me?"

You nod again. 

"I can't eat that."

"Wh-why not? What's wrong with it?" You almost demand. In hindsight, you should have asked, especially since Mr. Merman's seemed eager to point out every misstep you've made so far. You were so sure that the mackerel would have been acceptable that you didn't even bother. It makes sense for a merman to eat fish right? What else would he eat? Seaweed? Is he maybe vegan? 

"It's dead," he tells you and though his tone is plain, you can see the amusement dancing in those beautiful blue eyes of his. "Fish are best live— squirming as you bite into them, their blood squirting—" 

"Okay!" You squeak, interrupting his rather grotesque description. It’s way too early for any kind of gory stuff. "Okay! Got it!"

Well, that settles that; he’s definitely not vegan.

He grins, clearly finding enjoyment in your discomfort, and you try to tell yourself, again, that you did the right thing. You're trying your best, but the fact that it doesn't seem to be amounting to anything is frustrating. The merman's constant jabs and jeers at you and your efforts certainly aren't helping.

Neither is the distinct feeling of intense hanger that's starting to claw at you. 

Maybe you should have a snack before you meet up with Minori. 

The merman tilts his head, and you think maybe he's trying to look innocent, his eyes big and wet, his lips barely puckered. But the mischievous look in his eyes betrays him, making it clear that his aim is just to continue messing with you. "Oh, but—"

"Unfortunately," you interject again, exasperation seeping into your tone. You can feel your hanger about to violently consume you as you hiss. "I'm rather uneducated when it comes to merfolk food culture." 

He just stares at you and it feels strange that he has no quip to counter you with.

Shit. Was that a bit much? You regret your words as soon as they're out of your mouth. Despite the merman's behavior, he doesn't entirely deserve to be on the receiving end of your ire. You really should have asked about his diet. And maybe gotten yourself a bite to eat while you were getting him that fish. It's not as if you didn't know you were hungry. 

You take a deep, deep breath, hoping that fresh oxygen in your lungs can keep you sane for just a little bit longer. "Sorry. Just… is there— is it really completely inedible like this? If you really want it warm or something, I can cook it for you really quick."

He seems to consider your words, and you hope his response will be favorable. "...No, it's fine like this, I guess."

Relief saturates you as you exhale. You hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath. "I promise I'll get you something better later, it's just I… kind of don't have the time right now." 

The merman hums and holds his hand out expectantly. You're not sure if you should just give him the whole platter or just the fish itself; you opt for the former as you cross the length of the bathroom to give him his meal. Then you look away. He's either going to swallow the fish whole or bite into it, and frankly, you don't know if you can stomach the sight of either.

It sounds like the latter though. You start to step away, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to get ready, but that would have to start with a shower and while the shower is completely separate from the tub it is also right there. The thought of giving the merman a show while he eats is absolutely mortifying, especially when you consider how unnaturally handsome he is. Maybe you should leave a little early and swing by the bathhouse to shower there…

“Got plans?” The merman’s voice stops you in your tracks. 

“Uh, yeah.”

"A hot date?" he probes, sounding like he's snickering. 

Your face feels warm and you whirl around to face him, catching a peek of a bit of the mackerel's tail hanging out of his mouth. "No, I'm meeting up with my best friend."

Last night doesn't count. You barely even spoke with one another. Not that you could since she—

"You don't seem all that excited about it," the merman remarks, his eyes watching you curiously, looking impossibly bluer than before.

You open your mouth to refute the claim. To tell him that the reason you don't seem excited isn't because of Minori but because you've spent your entire morning running yourself ragged because of him. But it’s not quite true, so you don’t. Try as you might to ignore it, Minori's recent behavior still weighs on you, awkward and uncomfortable. You hold your tongue and instead say, "That's… not true." 

The merman's expression is indecipherable, his icy blue gaze fixed on you. It feels like he’s seeing right through you, silently calling you out on your weak excuse of a lie. 

Feeling the conversation is over, you turn back around and take another step to leave, but then the merman speaks again. 

“So, you know,” he starts, his tone adopting a flirtatious edge. “I’d be happy to teach you about merfolk culture. I’m pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.”

Your entire body goes rigid and you glance back at him, in mild disbelief. “At… teaching?”

He grins at you, as if he’s happy to have your eyes on him again. Is he starved for attention or something? The merman winks as he responds cheerfully, “Yup!” 

You gawk at him. “Like how you’ve been ‘teaching’ me all day?”

“That’s right! You’ll be an expert in no time.”

You doubt that. His teaching methods leave a lot to be desired; you’d even go so far as to say he’s actually a garbage teacher. You consider telling him this, but decide not to because he really seems legitimately proud of his skills (or lack thereof). “I don’t know…”

“Come on! It’ll be lots of fun!” 

You doubt that even more. “Based on everything you’ve ‘taught’ me so far, I’m honestly not even sure if I can adequately take care of you here…” You pause, then add, slowly more to yourself than the merman. “Maybe when I get back I should call the aquarium…”

It would be better, you think, to return him to the sea where he belongs. If anything, he seems well enough, and he hasn’t made any mention of any injuries that would keep him from going back. You don’t know for sure, but being in the aquarium would probably be better than your parent’s luxurious bathtub.

“An aquarium?” he exclaims and his voice is louder than usual, causing you to jump just a little bit. “You’re not serious, right?”

“Uh, well—”

“They keep a lot of different aquatic creatures there, don’t they?” the merman says before you can say anything. 

“Yeah, but that means the facilities are bigger and so you’d—”

“They probably wouldn’t be able to give me the same kind of personalized care that I could get from you.”

“Maybe, but I’m sure they’d—”

“Besides,” he interrupts again, his voice even louder as if he’s trying (and succeeding) to gain dominance over the conversation at hand. “They’d probably keep me there for the rest of my life! They might even experiment on me!”

Wide eyed, you stare at the merman. Your initial thought is that the family that owns the aquarium wouldn’t do that, but you don’t know, someone else who works there might. Merfolk are supposed to be myths, legends, so it’s not completely outside the realm of possibility that if you were to dump him off at the aquarium that he’d become someone’s research project.

"You wouldn't do that to me, would you?" he pleads, staring at you, his baby blue eyes blown wide, wet with what you think, in the back of your mind, are crocodile tears, his lower lip quivering as if he’s a frightened child. 

“I…” you start, trying to think of something, anything to say. There’s no doubt in your mind that the merman is guilting you. But you also know that he has a point, there’s no way to ensure that he’ll be treated humanely if you hand him off to someone else. Your stomach churns at the thought of scientists cruelly poking and prodding at him with needles and scalpels as if he were a lab rat. No matter how annoying he’s been, he wouldn’t deserve that. 

After all, isn’t that why you brought him home in the first place? To protect him from such a cruel fate? If you were just going to hand him off to someone else, you should have just left him on the beach. 

Slowly, you shake your head, “No… I wouldn’t.”

Pleased, the merman beams at you, his expression now the complete opposite of the pitiful look he was sporting just a moment ago. Despite his cheer, you still feel uneasy and you don’t think it’s because you’re hungry. 

The reason becomes obvious when the merman speaks, as if your body was giving you a premonition, trying to warn you. “That settles it then! Guess we’re roommates now!”

You stare at him blankly, your thoughts stuttering at his words, struggling to comprehend them as if they were spoken with a foreign tongue. What did he say? What did he say? When your brain finally processes them, translates them into something you can understand, you nearly screech, the words flying out of your mouth before you can even think about filtering them. “Roommates? Who said anything about roommates?”

The merman’s eyes narrow into a smoldering gaze and you distantly wonder if he's just trying to show off the range of emotions that he's capable of. His voice drops an octave, purposefully sultry and seductive as he says, "Well, if you'd like a different kind of arrangement—"

"Shut up!" you finally snap, ignoring the electric feeling running up and down your spine at the mere sound of his voice. You don’t think you’ve snapped at anyone before, much less a stranger, but to hell with that and to him too. All morning he’s been bossing you around and while you’ve been doing you best to acquiesce to him, he keeps messing with you as if you’re his own personal toy. Maybe it really is the hanger, having consumed you, body and mind, by this point, but regardless, you’ve hit your limit with him. “We absolutely cannot be roommates! Don’t you have to return to the ocean, anyway? Won’t you turn into seafoam or something if you don’t?”

He starts to laugh and you glare at him. It probably sounds stupid, but you think you’ve heard something like that before, but then again it’s not like you actually know anything. The merman waves his hand dismissively, his lips curled up in amusement. “I know what you’re thinking and no, it’s nothing like that.” 

"Okay, but that doesn't answer my question."

He gives you a noncommittal shrug. “Yeah, eventually.”

You wait, because you know there’s got to be more to it than that. Is he just doing these dramatic pauses for the fun of it? He shoots you a mischievous grin, almost confirming it, as he adds, “Should be fine as long as I go back in the next hundred years or so.” 

You nearly choke on the air. One hundred years? He can’t be serious. You take a deep, deep breath before speaking. “Sorry, but I don’t have one hundred years to be your roommate— I don’t even know if I’ll live that long. I’m only going to be here for the summer, and then I’m heading back home to Tokyo.”

That should be enough to deter him. At least that’s what you think, but you also think that the merman might like proving you wrong. His smile shifts only just slightly, the glimmering in his eyes reminding you more of the sky than the sea that he calls home. “For the summer then. We can be roommates until you go back to Tokyo.” 

You scowl, wracking your mind for some kind of counterpoint, but it feels like you’re fighting a losing battle in trying to argue with him. He takes your silence as a chance to attempt to further convince you. “Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the only one here, right?”

You don’t say anything so he continues. 

“Aren’t you lonely here all on your own?”

His question hangs in the air, unanswered, as you remain silent. 

The truth is you’re used to it— to being lonely. You’ve been living on your own in Tokyo for long enough to be comfortable with the silence that comes with solitude. It’s no stranger, and sometimes you could even consider it a friend. But there’s no denying that maybe, just maybe you’d been hoping there would have been a little more time between your arrival and your parents’ departure. It’s fine. You’ll see them when they get back. 

Besides, you still have Minori.

You can still hang out with her. Go eat at little cafes where you’re meant to take pictures of the food rather than enjoy eating it. Or have sleepovers where you chat about anything and everything. How she’s got something going on with Hayato. How weirdly nice Shinomiya is. How different life in Tokyo is compared to here. And maybe spending time with her will be enough to take the place of the silence, the loneliness that you’re grown accustomed to. It’s fine, you tell yourself, almost viciously. It’s fine because you still have Minori. 

Minori, who’s supposedly your best friend.

Minori, who, you suppose, is acting strange around you. 

Minori, who you’re supposed to hang out with in about an hour.

“We can’t be roommates,” you repeat, through gritted teeth as you reach up to massage your temple in exasperation. You don’t have time to deal with this right now: you need to get ready. “I don’t even know you. I don’t even know your name.”

The merman opens his mouth to respond but just as he starts to speak, you can feel a vibrating in your pocket. Soon after the sound of your ringtone fills the bathroom, echoing off the walls. You shoot him a look, silently telling him to be quiet as you reach into your pocket to grab your phone. Your stomach feels like it’s doing gymnastics, flipping and folding into itself, uncomfortably, painfully. It’s amazing your phone is still alive, having gone all night and almost all morning off the charger and you catch sight of how much the battery remains— nine percent. But that’s not the most important thing right now.

It’s Minori that’s calling. 

You turn away from the merman, gulping as you swipe the green answer button on the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey.” Her voice is strained, hoarse, like she’s gotten sick or spent all night screaming. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, more a formality than anything. You know the answer, but you’re still concerned.

“No, I—” She coughs. It sounds almost forced. You ignore it. “I… kinda drank a little too much last night…”

Somehow, you’re not surprised. You bite the inside of your cheek as you try not to frown. “It’s okay. We can reschedule.”

“...you sure?”

“Yeah,” you say softly. “You don’t feel well and… we have all summer to hang out.”

She doesn’t say anything. 

“Okay,” Minori rasps out, then she adds, almost an afterthought. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you insist. “Really.”

You could almost swear you hear another voice in the background, one that sounds almost familiar but you ignore it. You ignore it. You ignore it. 

“It’s fine,” you repeat. “We have all summer.”

“Right.”

“Just get some rest, okay?”

“Mmhmm… bye.”

“Bye.” The line clicks first on Minori’s end. Your hand drops to your side limply and your phone almost slips from your fingers.

You don’t know how to feel. 

On the one hand, she really might have drank too much. You remember seeing a few coolers filled to the brim with booze last night. It’s not impossible that, after you’d left, people, people including Minori, might have really gone to town with the drinking. She definitely could have gotten a hangover from drinking too much. 

But something else in the back of your mind insists otherwise, it whispers that there’s something else going on. Her behavior is too suspicious, and it’s getting harder and harder to fight off the notion that she’s doing this on purpose, that she’s avoiding seeing you, avoiding talking to you. 

And that hurts.

But what hurts more is that you don’t really know why. 

Is it just because you were really bad at talking to her when you were in Tokyo? Or is it something else? You could message her and ask, but you’d rather ask her in person when you can. If you can. 

“Satoru.”

You startle at the sound of the merman’s voice, turning toward him. You almost forgot that he was here. He’s watching you curiously, expression unreadable. It makes you a little uncomfortable, like he’s dissecting you. 

“What?” Your voice is almost inaudible.

“Satoru,” he repeats and you notice his tone is almost gentle now. “That’s my name.”

“...just Satoru?” you ask, unsure. You actually have little doubt that it’s his name, but it feels a little… too close, too personal to be using his first name when you barely know him. 

The merman gives you a wry smile as he dodges your question. “You know, it’s impolite to not offer your name after someone else gives you theirs.”

He’s not wrong, but still you hesitate. You feel like there’s some unspoken significance in giving him your name, like once you do, you’ll be setting something into motion that you won’t be able to stop. 

It’s just a name, just your name. 

Satoru’s eyes glimmer as you offer it to him and he repeats your name back, as if he’s testing the feel of it in his mouth. Something in your chest stirs at the sound of it, a little voice in the back of your head smugly telling you that it was right, but you ignore it.

With a satisfied hum, he says, tone shifting into something more cheerful, “With that out of the way, there’s no reason we can’t be roommates now, right?”

You stare at him wide eyed. It’s completely beyond you why he’d rather spend his time here, in your parent’s bathroom over being in the big wide ocean, but it’s clear that he has no intent on giving up. Between Satoru keeping you busy all morning and Minori canceling your plans, you don’t really have the energy to fight him any more anyway. 

“It’ll be fun, I promise,” Satoru insists with a smile. This one is different from the others you’ve seen from him so far and you wonder if he’s trying to take a different approach to convince you.

Not that he needs to any more; you’re already resigned yourself to your fate. 

“...only until I go back to Tokyo, okay?” you relent, squeezing the phone in your hand so hard it might break. This might be a mistake, agreeing to let this merman, to let Satoru stay here for the summer, but it’s fine.

It’s fine.

Satoru beams, bright and triumphant as he echoes. “Only until you go back to Tokyo.”

One trip out of the house to the bathhouse and the store is enough to reduce the discontent you feel from whatever is going on with Minori to just a frustrating buzz in the back of your mind. You know it won’t fully go away until you and Minori actually talk about it, but with the way things are going, who knows when that will be? 

Besides, you feel like your hands are going to be too full attending to Satoru to dwell on anything for very long.

You heave everything you got at the store onto the counter. Even though you’d gone just yesterday, the sudden appearance of another mouth to feed demanded another trip. Despite Satoru’s offer to teach you about merfolk culture, he wasn’t particularly helpful when you asked him (this time) what kind of food to get him. Seafood, he’d told you with a snicker, and when you probed for something more substantial than that all he said was to surprise him. 

His teaching methods really do leave a lot to be desired.

You did what you could with what little he gave you. Naturally, you bought seafood, two more whole fish, and then some other things, some of them a little… unconventional. It’s fine, though, you made sure to get things you could eat just in case Satoru doesn't like them. And if he doesn't maybe that'll teach him to be a little more specific next time. 

"Hey! Are you back?" Satoru's naturally loud voice echoes throughout the house. He must have really good hearing if he heard you shuffling in the kitchen, though you did slam the door pretty loud when you came back in earlier. 

"Yeah!" You holler back. 

"Perfect! I'm hungry!" 

Of course he is. But then again, it's been a bit since he ate that mackerel earlier. Your stomach rumbles in agreement with Satoru. After Minori had called, your hanger and appetite had basically disappeared, but now it seems like it's recovered. Your stomach grumbles again, and you consider eating before bringing Satoru his food, but…

Since you're "roommates" now wouldn't it be better to eat together?

Sharing a meal with Satoru sounds like a mistake, but if he gets too annoying you can just get up and walk away. Nodding to yourself, you grab the things you'd bought to eat and some of the things you'd gotten for Satoru to try and head for the bathroom, stopping by the storage closet on the way. 

You find what you're looking for— your mother's bed and bathtub trays— with relative ease. Hopefully, the bathtub tray will sit comfortably on the tub, even with Satoru's massive body in it, if not… you can probably both share the bed tray. You grab both trays and, while it's a little awkward, you manage to carry them both into the bathroom.

Satoru's lounging in the tub, since there's not really much else he can do, his long arms and even longer tail hanging off the edges. You feel bad, even though your parents' luxury tub is huge by human standards, it really is too small for him. Maybe it'd be fine if he could bend his tail the way people bend their legs but you don't know if he can. When you enter, Satoru tilts his head toward you and shoots you a lazy grin. You freeze, remembering again, how stunningly handsome he is. 

And then he ruins it, by opening his mouth, eyes on the bag in your hand. 

He starts to pout. "Did you bring me another dead fish?"

"They only sell dead fish at the store." You say while you set up the trays as little makeshift tables for you both. Luckily, the bathtub tray fits— just barely— but a win’s a win in your book. When that’s all done, you start to pull everything out of the bags. Satoru watches curiously as you separate your stuff from his. Belatedly, you realize you’ve only really brought him snacks and nothing actually substantial. 

“So, what have we got here?” he asks when you’re done. 

“Uh, well,” you point at each item, telling him what it is as you sit down next to the tub. “Dried shredded squid, some different kinds of seaweed snacks and dried anchovies.”

Satoru hums and picks up the bag of dried anchovies and examines it, turning it over in his hands. Is he wondering how to open it? You’re about to reach over and show him the notch in the bag that he needs to tear, but he gets to it before you do and rips the bag open. It’s a little impressive that he figured it out on his own. You watch as he reaches his hand in and gingerly pulls out one of the fish. He turns it over in his fingers, looking at it before popping the whole thing in his mouth. You hear the absolute barest crunch as he chews on it. 

When he’s done he chucks another one in his mouth as if it were a potato chip. “Not bad.”

You beam, maybe it’s not a glowing review, but still you’re glad to have finally, finally gotten some kind of stamp of approval from Satoru.

He glances at you and his lips ease up into a mischievous smile as he plucks yet another anchovy from the bag and holds it up to your face in offering. “Would you like one too?”

You eye the anchovy anxiously and bite your lip, not sure what to say. Do you tell him? Or do you just bite the bullet?

“What’s with that look?” Satoru asks, pouting. “Do you humans not eat these?”

“Uh…”

The pout becomes more pronounced, his eyebrows furrowing together. “Did you really give me something you wouldn’t eat? How mean.”

“...you said surprise me,” you finally grumble. “I’ve only ever used those in making soup stock— I’ve never eaten them like that.”

In an instant Satoru’s frown is gone as he latches onto the last thing you’ve said. He leans forward excitedly, his eyes shimmering with some kind of predatory joy. “Is that so? That would make this… your first time too?”

He does that thing with his voice again, and your brain goes offline for just a millisecond before booting back up. “Don’t make it weird.”

Satoru smiles, unaffected by your deflection. He waves the anchovy in front of you. “Well? Gonna try?”

You stare at it. It’s not like you’re opposed to it, so why not? It’s Satoru’s first time trying anchovies like this, so in a way would it be fair. You’re drawing the line at letting him hand feed it to you, though. Leaning a little bit back, you take the fish from him and toss it into your mouth. Just as you expected it’s a little crunchy, but more than that the taste is intense and salty, but…

“It’s not bad,” you remark, echoing Satoru’s sentiments. He grins and starts to eat them in earnest, few at a time. You pull at the plastic of one of the rice balls you got for yourself so you can dig in. After a couple bites, you notice out of the corner of your eye that Satoru’s looking at you again. “Mmm?”

“What do you have?”

You swallow what’s in your mouth before you explain. “Just some rice balls and a fruit sando.”

“Why does your food look better than mine?”

“Uh,” you pause, trying to think of how to word it, “My stuff is more… complex, I guess?” 

Most of what you got for Satoru is pretty simple, consisting of only an ingredient or two. He huffs, obviously off-put by your answer, and leers at you like he wants something. Then he says, petulant, “I want some.”

You’re almost startled at how straightforward he is about it. Almost.

“I… just wasn’t sure if your stomach would be able to handle more… processed human foods,” you explain. “If… if you really want, we can share. I-I just wouldn’t want you to get sick from something you ate, you know?”

Satoru’s eyes widen slightly at your words, but then he waves his hand almost dismissively, “Nah, it should be fine.”

You’re not so sure, but if he says so. “Okay…”

“So, what's that?” he asks, gesturing to the rice ball in your hand. 

“It’s a tuna mayo rice ball. The other one I have has salted salmon.” 

“I see.”

You think about the best way to go about sharing the rice ball. Would it be better to just flat out give him your salted salmon rice ball? There’s really no way for you to break off a piece of your rice ball to give him to try without basically breaking the entire thing apart.

Before you can decide on a course of action, Satoru ends up deciding for you. He leans all the way forward, getting all into your personal space so he can take a huge chomp out of the rice ball in your hands. You almost drop the entire thing in shock, and Satoru is either completely unaware or doesn’t even care as he leans back in the tub, grinning with a wicked amusement as he chews. 

“That’s pretty good,” he remarks, licking his lips. Your eyes are unfortunate enough to pay a little too much attention to the action. 

It takes you a moment to recover and you hand him the rest of the rice ball and say. “Okay, well, you can have the rest of this one and I’ll just have this one to myself.”

“I thought we were sharing?”

“We are,” you insist. “You’re eating that one, and I’m eating this one.” 

“But I wanted to try the salted salmon one, too.”

“I… I will get one just for you next time I go to the store, okay?” you offer, hoping that will deter him from invading your personal space again and sinking his teeth into the other rice ball. 

It doesn’t. 

You’re so lucky that the fruit sando is sliced in two pieces. 

next chapter (coming soon)   → 

[silmarillaure]

AU where all the adult dragons survive the dance in full health but no new eggs are hatched

(and their riders still die ofc)

Here's who I see the next generation of Targs claiming:

(Seasmoke will continue getting passed down by House Velaryon)

Viserys II: Vermithor - Intellectually he had the potential to be the second coming of Jaehaerys, I think Vermithor would have seen his first rider in Viserys II and formed a bond with him.

Aegon IV: Syrax - Both very lazy and very fertile. I know he would have wanted Sunfyre because he seems superficial as heck but I can NOT see him bonding with Sunfyre. (Say what you will about Egg2, but he loved Sunfyre in a was Egg4 was incapable of loving anyone.)

Aemon: Tessarion - The Daeron the Daring vibes are there! I think Tessarion would have been drawn to him judging by him sharing many traits in common with her first rider.

Naerys: Dreamfyre - Might have not claimed a dragon at all but Papa Viserys might have hoped a dragon would improve her poor health and pushed her to claim one. Plus, Dreamfyre LOVES her miserable tragic Targ Queens and Naerys gave birth to twins once. You know who else had twins? That's right, Queen Rhaena and Queen Helaena.

Daeron I: Vhagar - Boy King would have wanted himself the greatest beast he could get. Nothing more fitting to conquer Dorne than a conqueror's dragon. Would have gotten himself and Vhagar killed in Dorne like Rhaenys & Meraxes.

Baelor I: Silverwing - If he chooses a dragon at all I can't imagine it being anyone other than the gentle Silverwing.

Daena: Meleys - I think Meleys has a type: strong & badass Targ ladies.

Rhaena: NONE - She 100% wouldn't have claimed a dragon.

Elaena: Morning - After aunt Rhaena's death. She stole her other aunt Baela's man (Alyn V), only fitting for her to take Rhaena's dragon.

Daeron II: Sunfyre - While he's not that similar to Aegon II obviously, Sunfyre is a dragon who's characterization is built around love. I love the idea of Sunfyre picking up on a boy feeling rejected by his father and filling that hole like he did for another Targ boy before, only this one ended up being a better person. (Plus daddy undearest Aegon IV would have been so pissed off seeing Daeron claim the prettiest dragon.)

Daenerys: Silverwing - She seemed intelligent and likable and kind, not to mention her descendants followed absolute primogeniture and she shares a name with feminist icon Alysanne's daughter so Silverwing just fits.

Baelor: Tessarion - Listen! I trust my girl Tessarion to have good taste! I can see Baelor claiming her after great-uncle Aemon's death.

Aerys I: NONE - I feel like be wouldn't have one. He's so Archmaester Vaegon coded, he'd just be locked up in his room with his books.

Rhaegel: N/A - Just N/A, we know nothing about him.

Maekar: Sunfyre - He would wait years to claim Sunfyre after his dad's death. Sunfyre would have been very large at this point plus he's a war dragon which would be perfect for Maeker's war-like tendencies.

And the great bastards...

Daemon Blackfyre: Vermithor - I think Aegon IV would 100% let him claim a dragon and I think Vermithor would fit him. Especially with his forbidden love story with Daenerys.

Bittersteel: Vermithor - After Daemon's death, he'd claim Vermithor to continue Daemon's fight just like he took Blackfyre.

Bloodraven: Caraxes - An unusual dragon just like Bloodraven himself. I can see Daeron II offering him a dragon but I can't see him having a dragon going into current day so he'd probably get Caraxes killed at some point.

Shiera Seastar: NONE - As lovely as she is, there would be 0 good reason for Daeron II to give her one since she isn't fighting wars for him like Bloodraven.

[atopvisenyashill]

considering the repeating trends between targaryen characters who share the same name (all aegons after the first one are tremendously cursed, all rhaenyses die painfully, all daerons except for daeron ii are battle-oriented), do you think there is significance that jaehaerys ii, the man who brought back sibling marriage after it nearly become obsolete like his namesake, married a woman whose name is one letter away from saera?

of course, other than bringing back sibling marriage and being a shitty dad, jaehaerys i and jaehaerys ii don't have much in common but i wonder if grrm ever bothers to characterize shaera, she would be like saera reborn.

ooo okay.

so first of all, yes, i do think there’s going to be a lot of parallels (or really obvious contrasts) between the two of them. i mean, there already IS - they both elope with their younger sisters and that marriage marks a forced return to brother-sister marriages, the beginnings of a devastating war are sown under their watch; jae1 rules for decades and is positively remembered as someone more scholarly but capable of handling a war or rebellion, also has a million kids, while jae2 only rules for a handful of years and is remembered as being like, an ineffectual nerd and he only had two kids. we have next to no information on shaera right now and this is something i’ve found a bit frustrating bc i’m not sure if it’s a case of she’s gonna be a big part of a dunk & egg book that he will never write so he stubbornly doesn’t want to share (which, goofy but valid) or he just genuinely hasn’t characterized this woman in his mind at all & when pressed he’s gonna act brand new about why that’s so annoying.

but in my heart of hearts….

shaera is such a WEIRD choice for a name like egg what in the FUCK were you TRYING to curse your kids so you named one after FUCKING JAEHAERYS and another this whack ass valyrian name SHAERA. like what is this 😭 whenever i look at those two i feel like. what am i supposed to DO with this man. first of all, jae2 was always doomed to be a freak bc a) look at his name and b) barristan likes him and barristan is a Targaryen regime apologist (i’m not judging i’m a ned stark regime apologist, we all have our crosses to bare). the characterization i like to cobble together is that jae2 is genuinely quite good at a lot of things but this is overshadowed by his just glaring defaults. forcing his YOUNG children to marry bc a woods witch told him too, after he knows damn well he & his siblings have pissed off so many people with their marriages & egg has been controversial to say the least, is just some crazy ass work. enabling this re-descent into focusing too much on magic & dragons to the detriment of everyone else…just insane. asking for fucking trouble the same as the great council issue is just asking for trouble from jae1. and boy does he get it! but it all comes after he gets to peace out and die so he never faces the consequences. probably significantly less martial than jae1; i imagine him being the kind of person who you notice constantly has a cold. i like to believe that he was outwardly very warm but just kinda like increasingly and incredibly passive aggressive. rhaella is his clear favorite child.

and again. shaera. i think it’s interesting egg chose a valyrian name for her and not the “targaryen related but andal in origin” names like alysanne and alyssa (also interesting he went for “rhaelle” imo). i wish we at least knew when she died. but i agree - i don’t want her to be an alysanne-esque buying into the romance of being a targaryen, but a more saera-esque wanting attention any attention, fully buying into the godhood idea of valyrian supremacy type as a way of matching jae2’s freak and explaining aerys’ own supremacy ideals. i’m deeply curious about what could Make Her This Way - it's not like, for example, Jaehaerys' daughters' derangement comes out of nowhere. Hell it's not like Aegon the Unworthy's behavior comes from nowhere. But I feel like right now we have this picture of Egg's court that is a lot more progressive, more concerned towards doing good than building power, which i feel like...you'd think that would give you some more well adjusted daughters and Yet look at Shaera....not to mention Rhaelle is also a complete mystery. So I think for me, I like the idea that as complements to each other, Rhaelle is very anti Valyria, fully taking on the Baratheon name and identity and positioning herself as Not A Targaryen because she's pissed at how her marriage went (regardless of how she feels about her husband) while Shaera is fully bought into the supremacy ideals. I'd honestly love if she's the aggressor between her and Jaehaerys; she seduces him, she convinces him to elope, she's pushing for them to undo a lot of Egg's reforms (which, note that they don't get massively undone until Tywin gets ahold of it, which again, so interesting to me that Jae2 was just very blase about this).

[forthegothicheroine]

Ah, Waxwork II: Lost in Time! Or as I like to call it, Bill and Ted's Army of Darkness!

In case you missed my recap of the first Waxwork film, this is a duology of horror comedies characterized by three things: classic horror homages, sexual perversity, and the repeated humiliation of Mark the protagonist. The sequel doesn't hang together quite as well, but I think it's interesting nonetheless, in that the worldbuilding gets weirder with every scene, and my hypothetical novelization in which I try to work it out grows in increasingly epic proportion.

Ready to see more of Mark not getting laid? Read on!

We open with a quick flash of images from the end of the first film, not that it really matters- the whole waxwork conceit is over now, despite the title. Things are off to a weird start, since Sarah has not only been recast, the new actress isn't even styled the same- they have the same ending scene, but now there's a girl who looks like Kim Basinger in LA Confidential. It's similar to what they did with Jodie Foster and then Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling, but Foster declined that sequel because she was offended by the original ending, whereas here I guess they wanted as many actresses to not sleep with Mark as possible.

The theme music in this film sounds like a legally distinct version of the song from Suspiria. I thought I should mention that.

Unfortunately, a severed zombie hand also survived the last movie. It follows Sarah home, where she is threatened with an abusive stepfather who was never mentioned before. He is angry that she's sneaking home after being out late, which begs the question of how she got away with partying with China in the last film. Maybe China always drugged the stepfather and now that she's dead, there's nobody with access to narcotics? Anyway, he dies pretty much as soon as he's introduced, courtesy of the severed zombie hand. Sarah disposes of it in the sink garbage disposal, but that leaves her covered in gore beside her dead stepfather.

The next scene we see of her is at a murder trial. (I think? More on that in a bit.)

Sarah's legal case that a severed zombie hand killed her stepfather isn't going over well in court, although to paraphrase Legal Eagle, once your lawyer enters a plea of "not guilty because monsters are real", the judge should probably declare a mistrial. We also learn that over 200 people were found dead when the Waxwork burned down, which really doesn't square with the crowd we actually saw there. It was a big mob fight scene, but it did not look like over 200 people.

Strangely, after the court arguments, Sarah gets into a cab with Mark to try and go prove her innocence. Can you do that if you're on trial for murder? I don't think you can do that. Maybe this wasn't actually the trial, but a grand jury or an inquest or something? Anyway, they go back to the home of the occult professor guy from the last movie, and find some more of the monster hunting artifacts he and his colleagues collected- including a bloody Jason mask. Maybe this is in the universe where Peter Cushing accepted the role of Dr. Loomis when he was offered it, then proceeded to just kill all the available slashers?

Before he died, Sir Wilfred (the professor guy) recorded information about traveling to other times and places via "going through the looking glass." Sarah has read Alice in Wonderland, which is lucky because Mark can't even put together that "looking glass" means "mirror" without her help. He has gotten significantly dopier since the last movie. The key to opening the portal to other times turns out to be a chess set with Alice in Wonderland pieces, so off they go to find a new disembodied hand to prove to the jury that such things are possible.

If I were Sarah I would probably just say "fuck it" and find a new world to live in.

The first horror movie- I mean, time and place- they land in seems to be the Universal Frankenstein movie, but with Udo Kier instead of Colin Clive. Mark takes the role of Henry Clerval remembers who he is in the future, while Sarah takes the role of Elizabeth Frankenstein and does not. Unfortunately, the bad doctor sees his friend making eyes at his wife, and has his cackling hunchbacked assistant throw him to the monster to kill. I love it whenever Frankenstein is portrayed as a bit crazy over Elizabeth, so I appreciate it here. (I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein, and I will even defend it.)

Mark gets on the monster's good side by finding him food, but only after suggesting they "order a pizza." Mark seemed reasonably put together in the first movie, but here he is not the brightest jack o lantern on the street.

Even in the face of an angry mob, Frankenstein rails and attacks his romantic rival. It's bad enough that he found Elizabeth talking in private with another man, he says, but with that dork Henry? Mark is sad to be spoken of this way, but he's used to it by now.

Mark's previous kindness to the monster pays off, and he and Sarah head off to find other portals while Frankenstein gets throttled (in good Frankenstein tradition.) They get separated in the ether, however, off to different places and scenes. These scenes cut back and forth between each other, but for the sake of convenience, I will discuss them separately in their entirety.

The theme song in the Frankenstein sequence sounded like a legally distinct version of the song from Young Frankenstein. I thought I should mention that.

Mark finds himself in The Haunting of Hill House- or rather, the 1963 film The Haunting. (Do horror kids today still watch The Haunting? They should.) Further cementing any associations with Army of Darkness, Bruce Campbell himself, in tweeds and with a pipe, leads a crew of paranormal investigators in black and white footage; Mark is his friend in a bad blonde wig, and Sarah is now the mousy Eleanor, whose main function is to constantly be hit on by Theo. Which I guess puts it one up on the Netflix adaptation. We get the classic scares from the 1963 film, with mysterious pounding and bulging at the door and voices calling Eleanor to come home, but Eleanor escapes her dark fate in this timeline. The others, though, fare worse.

Theo is hanged and then possessed by a ghost, but that's a kindness compared to what happens to Bruce Campbell. We find him at the climax of the sequence chained up, flayed open to his ribcage, with an eagle pecking out his organs. He then gets knocked face down on the ground, knocked in the head repeatedly with various objects, and has his wounds comically doused in salt and vinegar. He keeps up a cheerful, vaguely condescending fifties dad attitude nevertheless.

This sequence is what makes the entire movie for me, and it's kind of a shame when it ends with an exorcism.

Sarah, meanwhile, is in Alien, as the captain of a salvaging space crew with a xenomorphic hitchhiker. The men on board get into a comically macho yelling match, but it doesn't save them when the alien attacks. I make fun of these films, but despite being cheap B-movies, they make the most of their limited budget and give us some good, pragmatic practical effects setpieces. Sarah blows the alien out of the airlock, then meets Mark again, who tells her about various adventures he went on that we didn't see. I'm not sure if this is a joke or if those scenes were cut.

When Mark and Sarah proceed to their next portal-hopping rest stop, they change genre a bit- instead of doing a horror pastiche, they do a pastiche of shlocky 80s fantasy movies. I love shlocky 80s fantasy movies, but this part of the movie lasts a weirdly long time for something that's supposed to be a horror comedy. They have an actual character moment where they talk about how Sarah wants to go back and show the jury the truth about the zombie hand because she feels guilty about their friends dying in the last movie. Those friends will never be mentioned again.

Sarah is carried off by evil knightly henchmen, and the mullet and jerkin-clad Mark is left on his own- all except for a mysterious man who I think is doing a David Carradine impression. He tells Mark that an evil overlord called The Master abducts and torments the women he desires, including his own lost love Lenore. To avenge her and save Sarah, he gives him some kind of magic sword and vanishes into thin air. Great.

Like I said, this part of the movie lasts a long time, so I'll try to be concise here. ("No, there is too much- let me sum up.") The Master is a perverted dark magician overlord who wants to usurp the King of England, despite this not looking like a world that would have an England. He has a creepy henchman who evokes what I call the Fancy Sadist Problem, but that's its own long post. Sarah is the sister whom The Master incestuously desires, and Mark has to be helped out of humiliating captivity by the ghost of Sir Wilfred. This ghost tells him that he has been playing in "god's Nintendo game", time hopping to keep fighting evil in different universes. I think. I'm not entirely sure how it works. It sounds a bit like Michael Moorcock's Eternal Champion mythos. I would expand upon it in my novelization.

The second best scene in the movie happens when Mark fences with the Master, and they crash through the portal to keep fencing though the street of various other horror movies- Jekyll and Hyde, Dawn of the Dead, Godzilla, Nosferatu, I think Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and something with Jack the Ripper. Whom they defeated along with the other evil souls in the first Waxwork movie, but time and space and alternate universes, etc. Hyde does the "How much of this bottle did I drink?" gag, which was very funny when done with a boiling beaker.

Mark and Sarah manage to snag a hand in Dawn of the Dead, but only she can go back through the portal because Wilfred's ghost says she needs to sort through her own problems before she can be a time warrior. I wish this was the first movie so that that meant accepting her masochism and finding healthy BDSM partners, but no, it means showing the severed hand to the jury.

Mark tells Sarah that he loves her when she leaves through the portal, but she doesn't hear him. Story of Mark's life. At least he manages to send her a letter via a postman who delivers letters centuries after they were first postmarked. And that postman's name, I assume, was Moist von Lipwig.

Even once Sarah is exonerated and goes off to be a time warrior with him in the final few minutes, though, she never requites his affections. Maybe we can assume she will, and she clearly cares about him deeply, but she never says she loves or even likes him, and they don't have what would seem to be the obligatory ending kiss.

Throughout time and space and alternate universe, the only thing that remains constant is Mark not getting laid.

[shini--chan]

Could I request flight and reaction from the headcannon lists for America, China, and Japan? I absolutely adore the way your characterization of them. Even though I don’t follow hetalia actively anymore I always find myself coming back to your work because I love their dynamics so much

Thank you for your kind words. One small thing though - the templates are to be requested as a whole and not mixed. Should have stated that more clearly in the info post and will update it after this.

This one is about America, I'll be posting the China and Japan ones seperately.

Yandere Character Sheet II

1p America - Alfred F. Jones

Blend in - Are the red flags obvious? Are they even aware that their behaviour is wrong? Do they even care?

When it comes down to it, Alfred fully buys into the trope of American exceptionalism fully. So much so, that he is bristling with self confidence and charm to the point where you'll probably overlook or even justify his more … unorthodox behaviour until it is too late. That is, if you don't hate him or a die hard realist. Or hold fast to some ideology that depicts him in a bad light. 

As per usual, the warning signs will all be very noticeable in hindsight. Though, if you are astute enough, you'll consciously catch on to some of them early on. Else, you'll occasionally be plagued by a feeling of something just not being right. Some of the red flags are:

He limits who you are allowed to talk to. At times, America can have a very black-and-white world view. Of course, he is the good guy and everything is just and moral. Even when he dirties his hands, it is all for the greater good. Thus, the bad guys are all those that don't fall in the neat lines of his high end morality. You are not allowed to talk to them, or even hear them speak, or else they will corrupt you. The only case he'll make an exception is if you are itching to join him on his crusade to either redeem them or defeat them.

Along the same vein - he is very resistant to criticism. At times, he internalises the saying "America is the best country on Earth" a bit too much. On mundane things he can very well take your feedback with grace. He is even open to pondering on concepts that are alien to him, if he is in a good mood. Though, if you try to change his opinion on something like his moral code or the lifestyle he is currently pursuing, then you'll find yourself running against a brick wall. It takes very long for him to admit to being the bad guy in something, or even just to being wrong. And even then, he'll try to sugarcoat it as much as possible.

Again in the same category - he can be controlling of the media you consume. Think about those hard right wing evangelists that think watching certain movies makes you gay. He might allow you to watch a series or read a book that he considers despicable, but only if you have a certain opinion on it. 

He always wants to know where you are or what you are doing. He'll frame it so that he comes off as the concerned boyfriend, or explain it as having had bad experiences with people in the past. Both will be true, but what is also true is that he is possessive and controlling. 

America is a sore loser, a very sore loser. He is neigh incapable of tolerating somebody being better than him. Hell, he even has difficulties in tolerating somebody being equally good as him in something he deems important. You are no exception here, no matter how much he “loves” you. 

Perhaps in the odd moment of deeper introspection Alfred will admit that what he is doing is wrong. However, he'll be quick to brush it off as "the ends justify the means". Though, if pushed far he'll break down and sink into deep shame, then trying desperately to right all his wrongs. That is, if he doesn't bury himself in copious self-righteousness and toxic self-interest beforehand. 

Compatriot - Who aids them? Who condemns them? Are there ways you can convince their friends/colleges/underlings to help you? 

Alfred has three types of people who aid him. First are the sycophants, those the hang onto his every word and laud and applaud whatever he does. Maybe their livelihood depends on him, or they are desperate to get in his good books. Eitherway, they'll treat his every whim as an order, morals be damned. Their opinion on his treatment of you doesn't matter at all in that case, what matters is that they'll act in his interests.

Second, are those that are genuinely on his side, that share his view of god and the world. These are the people that might chide him for his treatment of you at times. That being said, if you act like you are a happy couple, you'll also be treated as such and they'll turn a blind eye to all the red flags. 

Thirdy, there are the people that comply with him due to fear. Those that look at him and see the boy king that dropped two atomic bombs on Japan and showed no remorse afterwards. These are the people he has a gun pointed at, be it literally or figuratively. They will comply with Alfred if he calls on them, but they won't be enthusiastic about it. They might even try to discreetly help you.

As to those that condemn him - they are many in number, though only few will be overt about it. Alfred has a tendency to steamroll over other people to get what he wants. His tendency to selfishness has won him many enemies and thus there are quite a few people that are willing to help you. Now, a lot of the time their feelings and opinion of you won't matter, they just want a chance to pay America back for all the injustices it has inflicted on them, perhaps even with interest. In that way, you won't have much convincing to do.

Though when it comes to those that submit to him - either bribery or tricking them will work. Or you can convince them to help you if the blame for your escape can be shifted onto somebody else, or if the situation can be framed to make it look like you managed to flee entirely on your own. Concerning those that are loyal to him - in some select cases you can succeed in getting away by appealing to their own self interest or, again, by tricking them. However, there are also those amongst his circle of confidents that don't see him as a demigod and still side with him. When it comes to that sort, you can convince them that Alfred is sick in the head and that the only way to cure him is to remove you from his side, and then they'll orchestrate events to make that happen.

America's politicians and other high class people may also decide to step in if they think that Alfred is becoming too distracted because of his "relationship" with you or if he causes an aggrievious international incident. Watch out, though! Poor communication kills. If you don't convey your intentions or matters go haywire, they might decide that the best way to deal with the problem would be a bullet to the brain. 

Dominion - What actions are especially pleasing to them?

On a large part, Alfred wants to have the American dream for himself, even if his version of it isn't quite as humble. He wants to come home to you showering him with affection and doting on him and catering to his needs. But above all, Alfred wants you to elevate any boredom that he might feel. 

In any case, he would rather be frustrated or angry with you than bored. That being said, you'll want to avoid him falling into either state. 

Travel with him abroad, introduce him to new cultures if you can. Engage him in debates, do sports with him. Though, if you don't want to play a (sports) game with him, he does expect you to be on the sidelines and cheer him on as he plays. He is always up for new movies or series, or he'll allow you to drag him to a library or a comic store. Alfred also believes in being a self made person, so if you have ambitions or interests (as long as it's something he is ok with) he'll gladly help you on your personal journey. Be careful, though - he might end up shaping you more than you shape yourself. 

Aside from a very active leisure time, he wants you to be a loyal and caring spouse. Cook his meals and give him massages, ask about his day and don't start fights (he'll always be the one to end them, and at times, it will be anything but pretty). If you behave well, he'll let you out, maybe even take you to a party or even another country with him. 

Flight - What do you have to do in order to escape them?

This is actually a tricky question to answer. You see, Alfred is big on security but also a short term thinker. Either way, what you must do to slip out of his grasp is also largely dependent on your relationship with him before escaping. 

If has to drag you into his house kicking and screaming, then it will make things a lot more difficult. He’ll be expecting you to make a break for it, and will devise certain ways to break your will. You might think that your personality might be important to him, but that is only partially true; he is far more enamoured with the idea of who you can be for him than who you are. Alfred has a picture in mind of who you can be, the best version of you, in his not so humble opinion and if he has to play cat-and-mouse games to help you reach that goal, then so be it. 

Most of the time, he’ll keep you under lock and key - you would have to be very clever and skillful or have help to escape then. Though there will be instances where he’ll play release and catch with you - he’ll allow you to escape under controlled conditions only to capture you and haul you back home. This would be to drive the point home that you can’t evade him forever. 

The more you are inclined towards him, the more freedoms he’ll allow you; that is, if there is no danger of you stealing the spotlight from him. That being said, he’ll still keep a close eye on you - your phone will be checked on regular intervals and he’ll use it to track you. All your financial transactions (insofar as they are digital or per card) will be monitored and he'll do background checks on everybody you interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis. 

In general, it has to be said that he isn’t omnipotent or infallible, even if he tries to showcase himself at times. There will be moments where he slips up, mistakes that he overlooks. In total, he is a short-term thinker and emotionally charged. If you can get him to trip over his own lines (and it is easier than you might think) then you can go galavanting away. 

Hospitality - What is your life like with them? How much does it deviate from your former life?

This is a fort where Alfred loves to show off - anything you want, just say it, and he’ll already be pulling out his wallet. He won’t hesitate to have you settled in a pent house or a mansion and have you wine and dine. For him, this is also a way to tie you to his side - isn’t personal security more comfortable and important than freedom, eh? If you want for nothing because he gives everything you are allowed to want to you, then why should you try to flee. 

Aside from that, he won’t keep you in one place for a long time. Alfred wants to be the only real constant in your life and one way through which he shall achieve this would be to uproot you every now and then. It would also have the dual purpose of making it very difficult for you to plan an escape. In the same vein, he prefers his life to be eventful, and that will be reflected in his relationship with you. In the minor cases, it is small projects and that goes up to the major cases, that are historic events. Longer times of peace or monotony make him antsy and more prone to doing something impulsive. If you aren’t involved in all the drama and action, then you’ll be regaled with hour long stories of it. 

In that way, you have less peace and quiet than in your former life and also less privacy, because he tends to use you as a cure for boredom and restlessness. At times you’ll ask yourself if he sees you more as a doll than a person with agency. 

Since he also has many enemies, you might find yourself in the crosshairs because of him. In comparison to Alfred, you are probably the weak link (or he at least does his best to frame it that way to other people) so you’ll be targeted in order to hurt him. That way, you might find yourself kidnapped, threatened and tortured. And all of this would be followed by Alfred going on a rampage in order to rescue you. A lot of blood will be spilled and all because of you. 

Afterwards, he’ll just want to lie in your arms, maybe have sex, just imitating what all those movie characters do after a successful mission. Generally, he wishes for you to worship the ground that he walks upon - while he can live with your ire and hatred, it won’t be a smooth, nice ride for either of you if that is the case. If it is the case, then you have to be moulded into shape. 

It would be re-educated, but he would never use that word for what he is doing to you; it is such an ugly word, a communist word, a communist principle as how could he ever do such a thing. Instead, it would be redeeming you, bring you on the right path. In truth, he has just watched too many Hollywood movies and doesn’t know when to take a no. It would be a matter of chipping away at your resistance, carving away the hard exterior shell you erected to keep him out, to reach the soft core. 

Order - What are the rules you have to adhere to?

He doesn’t like to call them rules, since it just makes it seem like he is oppressive. Understandings? Manner? Either of them would be better words in his mind. At the root of everything, this mindset stems from the belief that you know what is proper and good. There are a few lines in the sand that he’ll point out, but for the most part he’ll assume you know what the laws of the land are. 

If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say it at all. The exception to this rule is if you are verbally tearing down some miscreant. Else, you are to sugar, spice and everything nice towards him. Sassiness is welcomed though, but no in excessive amounts. He is the sort of person to casually say that he likes somebody with an attitude though that only goes as far as that you provide him with a challenge - he kind of likes the idea of "taming" a partner.

Don't talk smack about me to other people. This rule is partially because he cares a lot about how others perceive him and because he doesn't want somebody intervening. Besides, your actions reflect onto him and he doesn't want you to shine a bad light on him just because you can't get your act together when other people are around. He considers the low points of your relationship as something that should remain between the two of you. 

I provide you with food and a roof over your head, so you listen to him. In some ways, he is downright paternalistic - this is only one of them. In any case, he earns more than you, pays when you eat out and the deal for house ownership has his signature on it. He is for equality insofar as it doesn't upset his position of power. So, it is his house and his rules and you are to treat him as your Lord and Saviour along with granting him all the privileges that come with such a position. 

Don't try to get third parties involved in our stuff. Reflecting on one of the above rules here. That being said, what would really get his blood boiling would be if you involve some uppity politician in affairs that are between you and him. He is wary of his own politicians and the sentiment to foreign lawmakers is even worse, so if you get one of them on board then the blood sports will commence. 

There are many more rules, spoken as well as unspoken, but we'll just leave it at that for now.

Rehabilitation - How much will they change you? Will they break you? How much therapy would you need in the event that you get rid of them? 

He'll change you to fit the romanticised version of you that he has in his mind's eye and he wouldn’t shy away from more unsavoury means if he thinks they are necessary. In that sense, you might have to undergo severe therapy and deconstruct the mould he pressed you in and reconstruct your personality. 

Or it could be that you bury your actual persona so deep in your subconscious, that you have moments of derealisation and have to slowly be coaxed out of the cocoon you wrapped yourself in. If you put up a pretty hefty fight, then he might even brainwash you in the truest sense of the word (putting you in a moment of existential distress and then forming you to his liking) and if that is the case, some deprogramming such as is necessary for ex-cult member might on the table. 

Aside from that, you’ll need to learn how to be independent again, learn how to provide for yourself and put your own food on the table, how to think for yourself and not in the tight frame he imposed on you. Time far away in another country with differing cultural and moral framework might be helpful then. 

And even after that, you'll be paranoid,  it through constantly fearing being tracked via your phone or having somebody physically watching your every move. It will take a lot to calm you down and you would be in danger of resorting to drugs to ease your fear and emotional pain.

Zeal - Do they fall fast or slow? What is their reaction to their own feelings?

Alfred is inclined to take this relatively fast once he is sure of his feelings for you; it is the stage before that. At times, he can be really emotionally constipated, though not to the degree his father can be. It is just that he has so much on his plate and while he has a warm and pleasant exterior though it actually takes a bit before a real emotional connection is established. Even then, he would be careful to place his full trust in you. If anything, being trusted by him would only come after years of proving yourself and even then, he would still hold something over your head to "motivate" you to not double cross him. 

As for how he reacts to his own feelings - he is as rash and impulsive as you probably assume he'll be. Being in love is a pleasure for him and he is prone to taking things too fast. Chances are that he'll be suffocating in his affections at first, if he can get away with it. Once he realises that his feelings run even deeper than mere infatuation, he might stop for a moment and conduct some introspection. Said introspection will seldom be self-critical, however, and is more to assess what might work with you and how far he wishes to go with you, rather than anything concerning ethics. 

Art is not mine

[mollywog]

This or That: Everlark Edition II

Katniss has a pouty mouth or very thin lips

Peeta has a chipped tooth or a birthmark on his shoulder

Katniss has big eyes or thick, thick hair

Peeta reopens his family’s bakery or becomes a full time artist for his enjoyment only

Katniss biter or Peeta hair puller

Peeta is under 5’6 or over 5’10

Is Peeta a butt or boobs guy

Who initiates their first time?

Thank you for including me nonny!!! 🥰

Thin lips

Ooo love the birthmark!

I’m going with big eyes because long thick thick hair would probably give her headaches?

A balance. He has the resources and knowledge to start up the bakery, (it’s also good routine) but it’s not just the two of them. He hires and trains enough that they can take lazy days off paint, or go to the woods, or do nothing!

Katniss is a biter (girl characterized her feelings towards Peeta as a hunger)

Over 5’10 - (web search says the average height for 16 year old boys is 5’9 (that could change between now and vague future date) so 5’10 doesn’t feel out of the range of possibilities - especially when you factor in postwar growth spurt!)

Peeta is a Katniss guy - any of it, butt, boobs, neck, ankle, elbow, all of it.

It just… happens. A natural extension of their feelings and their previous experimentation - so not necessarily initiated by either, but Katniss is definitely letting Peeta know this is what she wants too.

[lostloveletters]

I finally had a chance to read the very first draft script of The Godfather Part II that @cml-17 was kind enough to share with me🖤

In Al Pacino’s autobiography, he says Paramount had Mario Puzo write a script for Part II before Part I was even finished, on the off chance it was a success—obviously it was, but a lot changed between the original draft script and the final result of Part II, which is just a masterpiece. Maybe I’ll share some thoughts on the characterization in the original draft? (The plot line with Kay is almost completely different, Fredo's betrayal isn't even present, and there's only one flashback scene with Vito, which is like what! Those are like the most iconic aspects of Part II)

Obviously it's not canon, but I found it interesting that Michael has a mistress in that very first version of the script because it does give me some validation re: Gloria! Especially the note "Michael has been attracted to the girl and is irritated by his weakness" which is how I've been writing what his initial attitude toward Gloria was in Bruised Fruit, which leads me to...

I haven't even gotten to Act II of the fic yet and I'm like "What if I write a Bruised Fruit prequel?" because the Las Vegas setting is calling to me. The tone of that fic would probably be lighter than Bruised Fruit since it'd be like the start of Gloria and Michael's relationship but with the context of where it ends up...not so much🤭

Also, I started working on a WIP page for Bruised Fruit that I'm hoping I'll have done and ready to share soon!

[mobileleprechaun]

oubgh Tagged Game

I was kindly tagged by the eminent @femboty2k, thank you so much for tagging me!

This one is about introducing yourself with the following:

- One tv show

- One movie

- One album

- One game

However, she went the extra mile and did two each, so I'll do that as well!

TV Shows: Whatever Happened to Robot Jones and Making Fiends

I'm not entirely sure what it says about me that both of my picks here were ill-fated and obscure cartoons cancelled before their time, but I certainly hope it's nothing premonitory about the trajectory of my life!

Robot Jones was a full-on obsession for me when I was young. It's about a robot child having to attend junior high in the 1980s so he can understand humans better, and all the awkwardness that goes along with that. Something about it struck such a chord with me – probably the fact that the protagonist was a sheltered misfit who couldn't understand his peers. I was homeschooled until college, and all of my interactions with other kids were painfully awkward along those lines, so I guess I just felt seen?

It's a weird show, and the tone is pretty bleak. He's mercilessly bullied by both peers and authority figures alike, and episodes rarely ever end with anything working out for him. Maybe I felt seen by that too. It's kind of fucked up, and I'm 70% certain bits of it didn't age well, but for what it's worth, people still really enjoy the one episode where RJ comes to the conclusion that he's nonbinary. It's also lost media at this point, so there's an inherent rewarding feeling that comes with being able to find it at all.

Making Fiends is also pretty bleak, but in a very silly and fun way. It's about a town that lives in mortal terror of Vendetta, this extremely cruel grade-schooler who is able to make monsters (fiends) that can serve her every whim. However, her nasty little gangster baby life is turned upside down when a very dense friendly girl named Charlotte comes to town, and Vendetta finds herself terrorized for a change.

I was obsessed with this one too and was a young stan of its creator. I love that it's about two girls just being dumb as all hell and having weird and fucked up things happen to them. Nobody's boy-crazy, either – both of these little gremlins just get to be people. Neither of them are particularly deep in terms of characterization, but they're so much fun to have a romp with, and they get to fill that slapstick-heavy role that's usually only reserved for male characters. Also, the humor is super fucked up and morbid, but the way everything is delivered will just keep you hooting. It's definitely less emotionally exhausting than Robot Jones.

Movies: Chicken Run and The End of Evangelion

Weird pair, I know!

Chicken Run is another of my childhood obsessions that persists to this very day. It's a fun and surprisingly poignant tale of an insurrection on a farmyard and the brave hens (and one mostly useless rooster) who make it happen. Aardman just knocks it right out of the park with the quirky designs of their ensemble cast and just how rooted it feels in its 1950s setting. The villains are fun, the heroes are fun, somehow Mel Gibson doesn't completely ruin it, and I dunno, it's just very cozy. I could rewatch it over and over again. Also, Mac is best girl.

End of Evangelion is not cozy at all! It's the fucked up and horrifying ending to a fucked up and horrifying anime, and it pissed a lot of people off at how mean-spirited it felt, but like... it's a fucking masterpiece, like it goes incredibly hard. Every element of it – the music, the voice acting, the visuals – it's all stunning, like all the way through. Yes it's sad and upsetting and very strange, but that's just how the anime went. None of it feels out of place, either. I can go back and watch Episode 1 again and not feel like EoE mismatches tonally. I still think about it on the regular, and I still bop to Komm sußer Tod.

Albums: Spirit Phone and Act II: The Father of Death

I've picked these two because these are both albums I always feel the need to listen to as a whole rather than piecemeal. There's some other amazing albums that I feel dirty not including here, but these two are just the ones that hit me the hardest as albums, and I have to be fully honest with myself about that.

Spirit Phone came into my life when I desperately needed it. I had just lost my youngest brother and was trying to find my first apartment after years of being my parents' adult subject. It was such a heady and wonderful thing for me, all these skrunkly-ass songs about the occult and the inherently fucked up nature of American culture. I played it on repeat for almost a solid month, and it gave me the strength and optimism I needed to muscle through the most terrifying time of my life. It's still such a cozy and wonderful thing for me, and I thank Neil Cicirega from the bottom of my heart for putting it together.

The Protomen: Act II wasn't something that got me through a crisis, but it was a fucking crazy-ass bop and a solid goddamn chaser to their first album, which I also love listening to as a whole. The story of Thomas Light's descent into living as a pariah in his own city after his own friend turns on him is masterfully told by this band, and every track hits like a truck. The whole subplot with Joe was incredible, too, and that guy who sings as Wily is so fucking good, and Panther is ridiculously versatile... I still get goosebumps thinking about Breaking Out. Gorgeous album through and through.

Games: Sonic & Knuckles Collection and Cave Story

It might be cheating to include the whole collection as one game, but I don't give a phuck!!!!

I was like 7 or 8 when I got the Sonic & Knuckles collection on CD-ROM, and holy fuck, y'all. I knew I loved The Adventure of Sonic the Hedgehog on TV, but getting my hands on that game about spoiled me rotten. It just felt so perfect in every way. Having gone back and played earlier entries in the Sonic series really gives me an appreciation for how well they perfected the formula here, it's just so smooth and refined. Going back through each stage playing as Sonic, Tails or Knuckles is so good, too, like you really get a feel for how much there is to explore with their different styles of movement. I just love it so much, it's so cozy and so jammed to the brim with pure fun.

Cave Story was something I encountered later in life, and was pleasantly surprised to find as a free download. I was not adequately prepared for what a ride this humble-looking little platformer would be. God, it was such a wonderful challenge, sometimes frustrating, but always so compelling as to keep me coming back. And what a beautiful story, too, and what a gorgeous setting. I full-on cried at many points. Pixel just put his whole heart and soul into this game, and it's so sickening and unfair that he got fucked over by that shitty licensing deal. If you haven't already, please show this man's work some love. It went hard enough that when Undertale was first announced, I assumed it was going to be a Cave Story fangame. 😝

waow that's media!!! I must tag four people; @sammytoesis, @fetus-cakes, @johannesson and @badgrlebie. But if you wanna do it too, DO IT!!!!

[atlasisrq]

omg transbipolar tips please? (if that's ok ofc!) if u do ty sooooo much (and no worries if not! ty anyway 4 being on tumblr :3)

hiii hello :33 heres some transbipolar tips from a cisBP II guything :D

general tips!!

track 👏 your👏 mood 👏!! i'd suggest one mood tracker for the moods/emotions you're actually experiencing (to track progress for example) (i use Daylio, it's great!) & one for the moods/episodes you want to experience! for BP specific moods (mainly depression/mania) i use Bipolar UK!

exaggerate your regular daily moods! if you've been in a good mood all day but suddenly feel a bit down play it up! i've gone from cruising in a very high mood (perhaps even bordering on hypomanic) to absolutely crashing for days because of one bad mood swing :P

hypomania & mania tips!!! (note: ive yet to experience a 100% manic episode, so i dont have as much personal experience there!)

hypomania: hypomania is characterized, for me, by very very high energy, high productivity (but never finishing anything), lots of inspiration & creative drive and feeling wayyy more social than usual!

also, completely losing track of my finances, needing less sleep (like. 2-3hrs & i feel well rested where i usually need 8-9,,), less need for food, almost no actual feelings of hunger (once in a month long ep i only ate One Piece Of Bread per day with the occasional (once a week max) pizza & was "fine") & being more open to drinking (and/or considering trying to get my hands on 'harder' stuff like psychedelics) where i usually straight up dont like alcohol!

i'd recommend going off of what's alr there for you; so if you notice you've been in a pretty good mood recently, say that's a hypomanic episode now! go out a lot (clubbing if you want to/can!), make efforts to meet new ppl & make friends, be very motivated & high energy and do everything (and i mean everything!) in excess (talk fast af & never stop talking, be restless and pace around, constanty occupy yourself w/ smth bcs otherwise you'll be understimulated af)

for mania: crank up everything about hypomania by about 300%. it's like there's a million bees inside your bones, you feel restless cant be still do a thousand things in a day, lose all sense of responsibility & become extremely reckless, either due to your extremely elevated mood or because of delusions or other psychotic symptoms.

oh yeah, psychosis! in a mixed ep i spent a day convinced i had somehow accidentally ingested alcohol (i hadnt)! intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety around it, physical, olfactory & taste-based hallucinations around it, the whole package.

other BP based psychosis ive experienced: visual hallucinations (insects & spiders for me), jumbled & rapid thoughts (it felt different to adhd fast thoughts it was so weird lol)

see this article (link) for other psychotic symptoms during manic (or depressive!) episodes in pwBP!

i'd probably recommend "picking a theme" for delusions & halluciantions & the like, to make it easier to focus on them? tho i havent experienced psychosis enough to know if i have a 'theme' :P

depressive episodes!!

my least favorite (also, i feel like more things are known abt depression) (ALSO- i have seasonal affective disorder too which influences my BP episodes)

depressive episodes mean extreme lethargy for me. im tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep i get (& i'll be getting way more than usual. 10-12 hrs on average with the occasional 13 hrs 🥶).

very little movement. physical, mental, emotional, metaphyical. i often get stuck in bed, if not physically then mentally. spending my day anywhere but in my bed will feel weird & wrong. i will feel pretty numb/wont have access to my emotions anymore & often compltely stop thinking abt & processing my day-to-day life

^ this usually results in strong amnesia around depressive episodes but that might be a plural thing so. take it w a grain of salt lol

depressive episodes also make me self isolate as fuck. im talking forgoing my physical needs if theres a Chance i'll run into my roommate.

oh, yeah, also i just stop taking care of my basic physical as well as i do when balanced. i need to be starving to be able to get up & eat smth, & god forbid i want to actually cook smth rather than eating frozen pizza or eating out/ordering in

i also usually stop doing anything more creative than daydreaming (hashtag immersive daydreaming gang/silly) but even those are less immersive and less frequent. i'll be artblocked 24/7, have no inspiration or motivation and probably wont even miss drawing :P

& thats it! i hope you can find smth usefull in my rambling :3c /gen

and good luck & have fun with your transition!! you have my full support :D /gen

[quidfree]

Hello!!! so I love your story Sober II… I was re-reading it back to back with TSH and the way you wrote them felt so true to Tartt’s characterization of them I was absolutely floored to how you captured the essence of the characters in your writing and your extension to their dynamic.

I have a question about your own personal head-canons between the two because I also read your spin off fic of sober II and found myself wondering who you think is the more physically affectionate of the two? I get the feeling that both your Francis and Richard kind of shy away from showing the other affection, or at least quite hesitant in doing so. From what you’ve written I feel like it’s Francis because of little moments like him placing his feet on Richards legs when they’re both on the couch… but in my re-read it’s Richard usually reaching for Francis, or Richard keeping Francis’ hands on him out of instinct. And that bit where they’re in their 40s and Richard suddenly becomes paranoid about how close they were in front of his students. Anyway, sorry for the tangent but I’m simply curious about who you think is the more affectionate of the two!

Also, don’t laugh at me but when you mentioned Anne Carson in your story I fell into a spiral of purchasing a few of her novels and translations and now I’m obsessed. She’s pretty popular but she’s never really be on my own personal radar, so thanks for that!

ahh thanks so much anon- and what, i’m delighted you discovered anne carson through me, not laughable at all!

that’s an interesting question and your analysis is good haha- made me sit and think about my subconscious choices in writing them. i think you’re right that i don’t necessarily see them as affectionate with each other from jump, due to all of richard’s sexuality hangups and francis’ weird relationship to physical affection.

in my head francis is definitely more touchy but it’s like, following a specific set of rules- he’s flirtatiously touchy (see: initiating all his hookups), and casual with the touches if you’re an unthreatening figure in his life (his mother, camilla, etc), but i feel like bc richard is a bit of a complicated situation as of post-canon he’s more withdrawn with him than he might otherwise be (and might have been back in early hampden when he gave less of a shit about richard and also was prodding at him to see if his gaydar was right). he has a lot of walls in place mixed in w his sexual traumas (childhood and otherwise). altho he does tend towards softer than richard, what with the blanket coverings and such.

richard’s thing is 1) he’s the outsider, so he’s more yearning for other people to bring him in than secure in reaching out 2) Men are not for Touching. hes so happy to be part of the pile of limbs in the backseat or get his hair ruffled or hand held or whatever but even in hampden i don’t recall him initiating that very often except when his emotions just overpower him (see the camilla kisses). that said, to your point, i think especially w the benefit of their history and also the traumatic losses they suffered, richard is very reachy- the whole sober ii thing is like. the kind of panicked / instinctive motion to keep what’s left of his hampden days with him. and how that melts into holding onto francis specifically.

anyway they both have that going on. richard is probably more classically touch-starved? but they’re both more comfortable with sex than other touch from what we see- like, it is kind of ironic that the day francis comes to hook up with richard seeking that connection to distract from murder hell is Literally on the heels of richard seeking out a random girl to do the same thing with. they are soo.

they grow into it tho. francis starts it off bc hes like oh right this is someone im hooking up w now so i can do x y and z. but richard’s probably first to go sort of, ah, romantic about it, which then sends francis skittering back a bit. i have a lot of Thoughts abt their physical scars & how those play in.

[chaparral-crown]

Headcanons To Sound Off Every Hour Ask Meme

✨Got a characterization colonizing your spinal cord like termites in a wood beam? Wish in your darkest of hearts something would or could happen? Tell your fellows, friends, fandom about your headcanons. Convince the rest of them it's true. ✨ I - What's an imagined habit/trait of one of your favorite characters? Does it have any basis in the source material?

II - What's a canon event that you have a strong interpretation of that might be different from the popular ones?

III - What's a headcanon you have that you think would be unpopular?

IV - Who do you think your favorite character should have interacted with more?

V - If you had to choose one person other than who your favorite character either ends up with, or who you ship them with, who would it be and why?

VI - Your fave must choose an accessory to wear that isn't shown in the context of the source material - what is is?

VII - There's something nostalgic in the character's hall closet that they don't share with other people - what is it?

VIII - What alternate universe setting would your fave absolutely thrive in - just have an absolutely fabulous time? In contrast, where would they fail?

IX - Have you drawn or written anything to make just one stray headcanon more real for you, or to explain it to someone else?

X - It's ten o'clock at night - do you know where your fave is at?

XI - Change one thing about a scene - how do you think it alters the narrative? How do the people in it react?

XII - What headcanon do you have that you've never shared, and probably couldn't explain if you tried?

✉️Send your asks and comments for all this occupied headspace and more! Tagging @zipegs, @stranded-labyrinth, @chaotic-plotter, and @dreamerinsilico to answer the same, should they feel so inclined. :)

[torntruth]

i have this big headcanon in my head about good vs. evil and karlach will just never be an evil character, but -- that doesn't mean she hasn't done awful things. or that she can't be brutal or even vicious. her softness truly does come from a place of violence ... and her past is laced in blood, gore, and what it takes to truly survive. half the things we hear about her are placed down as gently and maybe there's a reason for that. shadowheart's the only one that gets an actual flashback, but i feel it's important to understand some things for her characterization, especially about her horrendously violent past.

i. her heart was ripped from her chest and i can assure you that it wasn't done carefully or kindly in any capacity. she probably endured a ton load of pain in order for that infernal to be set there and to be working. the scars all over her chest and arms are probably from the initial entry and it being too hot that it burned her from the inside out until it truly became a part of her and she learned to live with it like it is her heart. furthermore, it will continue to hurt and haunt her mentally because it's a connection to her mother. it was her heart.

ii. there's probably moments of respite in avernus, but overall never forget she was the frontlines of a consistent war. she probably had to eat whatever disgusting animals and WHATEVER was in avernus at times. she does actually make a comment at one point in moonrise towers if you spray her with the gore from the mindflayer colony where she comments on it tasting like ... dwarves. it's probably more than likely a joke, but there's a deeper implication to it that also revolves around the fact she may have been addicted to soul coins in avernus and by tav and friends simply not supplying her any, she's getting herself off of them. furthermore, those are souls. she just literally eat souls as a form of energy drink ... because that's what it took in avernus if she wanted to keep fighting.

iii. she was so wildly dehumanized in avernus because she was just zariel's pet. this one is more of an obvious one. she was not a person to zariel but just a weapon.

&, despite all this, because all this, her affinity for love and kindness is probably something she really, really had to fight to keep at times in avernus. yet, she did, and she keeps fighting for love and kindness and this makes her a wildly GOOD character despite some horrendous deeds in the past.

[ahmedmootaz]

Hello Ahmed! This time, instead of questions about the cast, I want to ask questions about you. What's your favorite fic for LobCorp/ruina/limbus? Imo yours (TMFOA/AiP) are my favorite simply because of the depth that you go into and the characterization the cast being in point. Second, how far would you say you are from your next chapter, and do you plan on implementing a segmented release like how you did chapters 26/27? Lastly (cast related fic), since you're technically God in your fics, how would the cast react to your existence (Assuming they don't know that they're fictional, only that you made their world. We don't need any existential crisis on top of the mountains of angst!!)

Dear hncdhnmfr,

Oh, questions for me, personally? You flatter me too much, but hey, who am I to complain about it? Also, hey, would you look at that! I'm actually responding to an ask before 24 hours have passed since it was published, what has the world come to?!

On a more serious note, I feel you certainly deserve a quicker response considering the ludicrous wait you had to go through last time, so apologies again for that.

So for you questions...Ironically enough, for as much as I write about it, I don't read too many PMverse 'Fics, mostly because I can't find Ayin 'Fics that have a focus on his as I want them to, although off the top of my head, Silent Resonance by KABN (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31268576/chapters/77295107) and A_Random_Reading_Person's LC works (https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Random_Reading_Person/pseuds/A_Random_Reading_Person/works?fandom_id=14487746) have always scratched my itch when it comes to Eyucar content and even Roland-centric stories. They're not bloated messes like my 'Fics, they have lots of monologues and character introspectives, and frankly speaking, they're a lot fluffier than my works. Who can say no to some PM fluffiness at last without having to suffer a whole ton of angst to get to it?

As for how far I am from the next AiP Chapter...that's an answer I wish I had covered. I'm writing more and more of Epilogue II every day, but honestly...it doesn't end. It keeps going on, and on, and on...although I have hopes I can finish it relatively soon, I also had plans to release it in August of 2023, soooooo...take from that what you will. What I will say is to keep your eyes peeled for April or May, or so I hope.

Also, yes, it's definitely going to need to be split into two parts, believe me. Even if I don't want to, the Archive editor can't post a Chapter that's longer than 500K characters...

As for that last question...I don't think of myself that way at all, not in the slightest sense. I would say I am closer to the Narrator when it comes to my role in the plot of AiP; sure, I write some elements, but I just nudge things in the right direction while letting the Narrator explain what, exactly I nudged and in what direction...at least, that's how I would describe it if I were to place myself within the Canon of my PM 'Fics.

So how would the cast react finding out I exist...honestly? They'd probably laugh it off or think I'm just another power-tripping lunatic from the City, although once they realise what I'm truly capable of, maybe they'll be resentful I didn't just write "Oh also Carmen suddenly unDistorted" or did something to aid them on their journey, which is frankly a good question. An answer of "well, you were never in any real danger, and lots of people love reading about you since you're celebrities" will sound more unhinged than I would intend to come off across, but with the correct wording and explanations, I'm certain that we can have an amicable relationship of sorts. Although Ayin and Yesod would definitely begin to worry if every action they partake in has been nudged by me or whether it's whatever free-will they have acting.

Overall, considering the nature of the City, it's not far-fetched to say they can get used to it...the question is just what, exactly, they'll go through before getting used to it. Hatred? Confusion? Indifference? All are possible options considering how wide the range of our dear cast is, although I'm almost certain the primary reaction will be anger for all of the angst I've pushed them towards for our sick pleasure, but then again, maybe I can argue my way out of that one by saying that in the end, the events I pushed them towards led to better results in the end, no? It's quite the fun thought exercise!

What do you think, hncdhnmfr? Surely you have your own opinion, hmmmmm? Regardless, and as always, thank you for your fun ask! I always look forward to them, and I hope this one makes up for last time's delay. Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!