#chapter three bc that’s when Nancy shows up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slversoul · 4 years ago

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* mia goth, cis female + she/her | you know cecilia rutherford, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, three hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to summer wine by nancy sinatra and lee hazlewood like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole strap of a silk slip falling down her shoulder, sitting on a sailboat and smoking, soft smile hiding shark teeth thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 1, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( cornelia )

death tw, gaslighting tw, animal death tw, murder tw, attempted murder tw

born at 12:02 am on june 1, three minutes after her twin brother, making her younger — a fact cecil never let her forget.

the twins shared one name. one head. two hands. two feet. one heart. it was impossible to tell them apart as small children, everyone assuming they were identical twins with their matching haircuts and outfits.

their parents had met when their father was shooting a movie in brazil, sweeping their mother off her feet, and bringing her to connecticut where they were married within three months. only four years later she was moving to italy to live with her young lover.

back and forth the twins moved between their father’s home and their mother’s home. the constant shuffling around led them to be homeschooled in their youth. all the better for them. the twins ran through the large houses, barefoot, with laughter filling the corridors behind them.

it wasn’t that their parents didn’t love them, but they had other things to preoccupy their time. cecil and cecilia only had each other.

when they turned 11, they were enrolled in a middle school, settling in with their father full time during the school year. the other kids might not have known them, but they certainly recognized their last name. despite their lack of early socialization, they made friends quickly. calm and easy to converse with, they were respected among their peers.

(attempted murder tw) the first incident happened when they were 12. with their friend over and their father gone, the three of them were swimming in the pool. their friend, wanting to show off, dived into the pool. in the blink of an eye, cecilia watched red bloom from him, seeping slowly into the surrounding pool water. she wanted to run and find the housekeeper, wanted to call 911. do something. do anything. cecil held his hand up, stopping her in his tracks. his eyes were on their friend floating face down in the pool, and her eyes were on him, searching for anything buried in his cold, dark eyes. as the seconds ticked by, he finally lowered his hand, and cecilia ran screaming into the house. the friend lived, but from then on, there seemed to be a separation between the twins and the rest of the world.

they skipped eighth grade, too smart for any of the silly assignments their teachers had for them that year. they played tennis and golf and even learned to sail. all activities they could do together. all activities their parents had wanted them to learn on their own.

(animal death tw) it was their trips to italy that got them interested in architecture and history and classics. places they could explore first hand, reconstructing history with nothing more than their imaginations. one night, they snuck out of their mother’s villa and stole three chickens from a neighboring farm. deep into the woods they went until they came across the smooth stone. it was cecil that butchered them, but this time, cecilia’s eyes were cold as she watched the blood spill down the stone and seep into the forest floor. the gods were appeased cecil had said.

every time a friend encouraged cecilia to step away from cecil, the friendship ended shortly after. he was her older brother. he knew the ways of the world and was helping lead her through it. she went on dates but she never dated, preferring to limit her company. perhaps that’s why everyone clamored to be around her, and even fought for cecil’s attention. they didn’t walk, they floated, in a reality of their own making. a secret universe that no one else got a glimpse of. but their classmates and their teammates and their neighbors needed to know what made them so different from everyone else, blinding them to the coldness the twins wrapped themselves in like a large quilt.

off they went to college, both of them double majoring in classics and history with a minor in latin.

the tipping point came when they were placed in different recitations for some general lecture. they demanded their parents try to convince the dean to place them in the same one, and the parents insisted they tried their hardest, but in reality, they were happy to see the twins apart. it was there that she made friends. friends who didn’t know her brother, and didn’t care to know him. it started with study group without cecil, but it grew bigger and bigger, until slowly, she became cecilia rutherford and not cecil’s sister.

of course, he didn’t take this news well. he was sick every month, needing cecilia to nurse him back to health. or he wanted to do a family dinner the same night she was supposed to go out. she tried reconciling him and her friends, but they never seemed to get along. torn between two worlds, she was tugged back and forth, helpless in the middle.

(murder tw) bunny, siobhan, cecilia, and cecil were at the marina late at night. they were tying the boat up, having spent the whole day in the sun, still tipsy from an afternoon of drinking. a comment about one of their classes, one cecil wasn’t in, struck a nerve, and he launched into a tiraid. a move to grab cecilia, resulted in him being pushed away, slipping and falling over the pier and hitting his head on the boat before he landed in the water with a splash. nobody made a move to call for help. a relief really. he had been but a stone, trying to drag everyone down to whatever sad pit of despair he lived in. it was a secret that they would take to the grave, binding them together.

they stayed close throughout college, drifting away as they graduated. cecilia moved from pursuit to pursuit, treating everything as if it was some kind of game rather than a career. she even tried her hand at writing a novel, growing bored after only ten chapters in. she had more fun laying around on the yacht of whoever she was seeing at the moment.

her brother’s death hardly left a mark on the family. they cried together at the funeral, but they floated apart again, dealing with the grief in their own way. she never talked about it, preferring to block out his memory entirely than deal with the consequences of their actions. this proved impossible when she received a note, slipped under the door of the penthouse she was currently renting out. a note, in her deceased brother’s handwriting. you can’t get away that easily. fear left her cold, and she tracked down her old friends, packing up and moving to irving, north carolina to confront the past.

PERSONALITY

she’s friendly and charming and outgoing. she can talk to everyone and be kind to everyone, but that doesn’t mean she likes everyone. it’s all about appearances. is very good at hiding things and keeping things close to her. she’s still struggling with the loss of her brother because he was her best friend. she’s aware of his flaws, but it’s hard for her to reconcile her fairytale version of him and the truth. cecilia is super smart and pretentious and snobbish, but she’s also a bit of an airhead in that she’s not aware of how the “common person” lives. she’s very out of touch with things because she lives in the bubble of her parents’ money. she’s calm always. it always seems like nothing fazes her, and it’s all a façade. um i think i’ll add more to this later but that is all for now :)

WANTED CONNECTIONS

okay, so as she is new, like literally just moved in hours ago, she’s not really going to have recent connections. but i’m so down for doing past connections :)) maybe a love affair when they were both on vacation somewhere, or someone who she knew in the past who hates how calm she is about everything. also someone who knew her brother and either hated or loved him bt that would be fun angst bc she doesn’t talk about him anymore :) anyway, if you think our muses could have met in the past, just let me know and we can brainstorm connections :D

#irvingintro

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visforvengeance · 5 years ago

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Exit music (for a film)

ＢｉｌｌｙＨａｒｇｒｏｖｅ

Requested by: no one ;)

Notes: hello. here is something i’ve been working on since s3. it was originally called we hope that you choke. but i changed it literally 3 minutes ago. it’s going to be in chapters bc i couldn’t figure out how to write everything without making it an 8,000 word fic😬. the upside down doesn’t exist in this. el doesn’t have powers. ahem hopper and billie don’t die. i thought this song would fit perfectly with billy considering his dad is pretty shit. i’m procrastinating on wdywmts. i’m so sorry. i have a justin foley fic. do y’all want that shit?

Warnings: none in this chapter. i mean cursing? and vulgar language. steve being a dick. billy is maybe out of character. slight mentions of death and daddy issues.

word count: 2,072

Y/n’s POV

“Have you seen the new kid? He’s so hot! Ugh! Look at that hair!” My friend, Genesis, gushed as he walked by. He was hot, but he looked like trouble. And it was annoying how every girl swooned over him. Looks like Steve Harrington has some competition this year. “Gen, don’t you have a boyfriend?” I questioned. She rolled her green eyes and scoffed. “Alex and I are on a break, thank you very much.” I laughed at her faux annoyance.

I closed my locker door and leaned against it. “He isn’t even that hot. He’s already flirting with girls and it’s literally his first day.” Genesis hit my arm. “Can you blame him? Look at him. God, his chest is so mint! I’d give anything to get a piece of that.” I shook my head at how much my friend was thirsting over him. “Jesus, Gen. Can you keep it in your pants? You don’t even know his name.” She smirked and looked at me. “Billy Hargrove.” God, even his name sounded like he’d be a womanizer.

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that. And keep your dirty comments to yourself, Genesis.” The red-haired girl slammed her locker shut. And we began walking to first period. “Oh, don’t be such a prude, Y/N! Ever since you broke up with Steve, you’ve been a complete betty!” I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “No, I haven’t! I just don’t care for boys anymore. They’re stupid and gross.”

“Yeah, since you got your heart broken. Come on! It’s time to show him what he’s missing. Have you seen your body recently? Boys have been tripping over their feet staring at you. You just won’t give them the time of day.” Blah blah blah. She just had to bring up repressed memories of a certain tragedy.

Steve had called me over to attend the end of the year party he was having. His parents weren’t home, so he had a shit ton of alcohol for everyone. When I entered the door, I was greeted by loud music and drunken teens. I wove my way through the crowd and stood by Steve. He’d noticed me and pecked my cheek, “Hey, babe. You made it.” He sounded surprised. “I mean, yeah? Why do you sound so surprised?” He was a little drunk, so he tripped over his words a bit.

“U-usually you never come. Too busy doing your homework or whatever excuse you tell me.” Tommy H. appeared and forced his way into the conversation. “Nah, she’s too busy being a prude. Are you a virgin, Y/N? Steve usually tells me about all the girls he’s fucked, but you? He’s never even mentioned.” Before I had a chance to defend myself, Carol butted in.

“No way she’s a virgin. I heard she had a thing going on with that creep, Johnathan Byers. How’d you take it, Y/N? In the ass? Or did he pop your sweet cherry?” Steve laughed as Tommy and Carol taunted me. I scoffed. “None of your business, dipshits. And seriously, Steve? I’ve been to every one of your stupid parties. You just choose to ignore me. Like you do in school, you cast me aside. Am I not popular enough for you? Is that it? Or are you too busy ogling Nancy Wheeler?” His face scrunched in confusion. “Woah, woah, woah. Are you okay? You’re going a bit psycho. It’s not my fault no one likes you.” I scoffed at Steve’s drunken words. Of course, he’d say something like this.

The next day, Steve found out about what he had said. He tried to explain why he said what he said, but never said he was sorry and that it wasn’t true. I broke it off with him.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. “I’d rather not. And what makes you think he’d go for me anyway? I don’t seem like his type.” Genesis filled the halls with laughter. “He’s been staring at you since he walked into the classroom. And not to mention, he’s coming over to you now!” What? I turned to his direction and followed until he was standing next to the desk beside me.

“Is this seat taken?” I think I underestimated his attractiveness. He was insanely hot. “U-uh no.” I stuttered out an answer. He nodded and smirked. It was science class and my partner had moved to another state. You know what that means? He’ll most likely be my partner. I don’t think I'm stable enough to handle this.

The next 60 minutes were filled with uninterested and forced conversations about physics and whether I was single or not. Thank god for the bell. Before Billy could say another thing, I rushed out of the classroom and stood by my locker, waiting for Genesis. She looked annoyed as she approached me. “Why the hell did you run off? He was obviously into you.”

I rolled my eyes as she lectured me about the blue-eyed boy’s interest in me. “I don’t want to be the first of girls who he has fucked over. I’ve had enough of that with Steve.” She frowned at my tragic outburst. “You never know! He might be different. Looks CAN be deceiving, Y/N. You have to give him a chance. It’s my dying wish!” Genesis dramatically placed her hands on her heart and head. When I deadpanned, she straightened her posture. “Come on. You don’t even have to go all the way. Just be nice to him.”

I sighed an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Fine! I’ll be nice to him. But as soon as he shows signs that he’s up to no good, I am dropping it.” Genesis excitedly jumped up and down, trapping me in a hug. “Yes! That’s all I’m asking. I just know you won’t regret it.” She declared as she wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Billy had shown up in my next class, and also decided to take a seat next to me. Causing a student to angrily walk to the back of the class, while she shot daggers at me as we talked. He looked at me and smiled. While the teacher taught, he started talking to me. “Hey.” Remembering what Genesis said, I turned and smiled at him. “Hi.” His eyes displayed shock, but his body remained cool. “So, you’re talking to me now?” I laughed and nodded. “I’m glad I didn’t give up on you, then.” “Hm, I’m glad too.”

We talked for majority of second period. He was quite interesting and he had a gorgeous smile. I learned that he came from California and had a sister. He made it his job to walk me to my locker and carry on the conversation we had for three periods now. As we were walking, Genesis’ ginger curls came into view as did my locker. She saw us and her eyes went wide with surprise.

I introduced the two people as I opened my locker. “Billy, this is my best friend, Genesis. Genesis, this is my new friend, Billy.” He turned to Gen and greeted her by taking her hand and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you, Genesis.” My friend was astonished, as she bowed. “The pleasure is all mine.” I rolled my eyes in annoyment as Genesis continued to be dramatic.

It was now time for lunch and Billy joined us at our table. While we walked, I felt Steve’s eyes on us. Jealousy painted the features that I once adored. I returned my attention back to the two people who were happily chatting about god knows what. “So, Billy. Are you dating anyone?’ Genesis stated as she nudged my knee with her own. I nearly choked at the question as I looked at her. Thank god he didn’t notice my slight panic and carried on with his answer.

“No, not at the moment.” He chuckled at the question. “Interesting. Neither is Y/N.” I felt hot all over as Genesis exposed my relationship status to a person I barely knew. Now, Billy was full-on laughing while I sat in complete embarrassment. “Yes, and it’ll stay that way until further notice,” I said while I kicked the girl’s knee. She winced in pain and decided to back down, for now. Billy’s face faltered in disappointment. But he quickly replaced it with amusement.

“What a bummer, then.” He smiles almost sadly. “Yes. A complete bummer. I’ve been trying to get her to come out of her shell, but Steve really fucked it up for her.” Genesis said, angrily. He pulled a confused look. “Steve Harrington?” He asked. Genesis and I exchanged a look. “Yeah, you know him?” He nodded while taking a sip of his chocolate milk.

“He’s in my gym class. Real asshat, that guy. What happened between you two?” He asked, curiously. Genesis looked at me, expectantly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “He was just a dick. He always placed his popularity and shithead friends above me.” Billy shook his head in disbelief and slight anger. “He didn’t deserve you.” Genesis perked up at that. “I’ve been saying that for centuries.” I zoned out as they both shared a common ground on how I deserved better.

Lunch was over and we had to go to fourth period. Genesis and I had gym, so Billy didn’t tag along with us. “So, he seems like absolute boyfriend material.” I shook my head. “You’re really pushing for us to date, huh?” Genesis turned to me after stretching her legs. “Uh, yes? You guys would make the perfect couple. He gives me bad boy/protective boyfriend vibes. Potential daddy issues with unconditional love for his girlfriend? Ah-mazing!”

He seemed really sweet and he was definitely the cutest. His hair seems so soft, and don’t even get me started on his smile. It makes hearts generate above my head! And his body, dear god. It seems so perfect. I’d give anything to feel his abs against my-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Genesis nearly screamed at me. “What? No, I’m not.” She squinted at me, not believing a word I said. ‘Date. Him.’ She mouthed at me. I shook my head and turned to pay attention to my teacher’s directions.

The school day was over and I was so relieved. Gen’s dad picked her up early, so I was alone for the rest of class. I was putting my things in my locker when Billy approached me. “Did you miss me?” He asked, jokingly. I laughed and closed my locker. “I just about died without you.” I said as I placed my hand on my chest, dramatically. A slight blush creeped up on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Are you doing anything after school?” He asked. I thought about it for a second and shook my head. “Nope. I planned I’m going straight home. Why?” He held the door open for me as we walked outside. “I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hangout?”

I giggled at his uncertainty. “Yeah, i'd like that. We could probably go to the park? And just sit in your car and talk.” He seemed so happy that I agreed. “Ok. Sounds like a plan.”

We arrived at the park and he turned his car off. I turned so I was facing him. “So. Tell me about yourself. How old is your sister?” “She’s actually my stepsister. But she’s 14. My mom died when I was 8.” I grabbed his hand and apologized. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been hard to deal with.” He looked at our hands and then up at me. I released his hand and placed mine back in my lap. “It was. My dad...he’s really shitty.” Daddy issues? Wow, is my best friend God?

“Sounds fucked up. I’m sorry, again. Do you miss California?” He nodded. “A lot. But I think I’ll like it better here.” He smirked. My eyes went wide for a second and then back to normal. This boy is going to kill me.

“You know. You’re actually not so bad. I think I might take a chance on you.” He leaned back in his seat. “God, I sure hope so. You seem like a doll.” I laughed at his confidence. “Thanks, I guess.”

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ziracona · 4 years ago

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One aspect I find fascinating about your fics is that Meg and a lot of the other characters are pop culture savvy, but also live in a universe where some of the most popular horror characters were real people. So, how do you think they would've reacted to meeting Nancy and Steve, who come from a universe where Michael, Laurie, and Freddy are all horror movie characters?

Ahhh thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked that. Pop culture was a really big element for a lot of the cast, & it is kinda funny I guess that several of them /are/ core horror pop culture.

So, this is kind of a hard one for me to answer, because I didn’t do ILM canon like DbD official canon. I do explicitly reference Stranger Things as fiction in Nearly Departed, but that was because I had not the foggiest clue DbD would /add/ a Stranger Things chapter—both because it’s super new and ongoing unlike their other horror “classic” staples, & because I wouldn’t even really call Stranger Things horror. I had been so damn careful 😂—I think the only horror film I name is Friday the 13th, which felt safe at the time because it’s got its own similar game & thus seemed unlikely to give DbD rights. If I had included Nancy & Steve, I would have gone back and replaced that segment with something similar, and just had ST exist in the same world as Halloween, NOES 2010, and Saw/all of the ILM cast. It’s the best solution, and you really don’t have to change any of the stories to do it. All that would have to change is that in this version of ST, Max wore a different Halloween costume, & three lines of dialogue are different. Fundamentally it’s exactly the same world. I know that’s maybe not the most exciting answer TuT, but it’s what I’d have done for a few reasons. Ima drop the rest under a read more bc I go way into writing & a little w horror meta tho: 💙

For one, it’s just kinda sad. It lowers the storytelling stakes because even a best-case scenario would be kind of a letdown for everyone. Not as much to gain: Not as much to lose. So, sad emotionally & kinda less motivating story-wise. Like, if any version of a happy ending even hypothetically would always mean these people who have bonded through years of self sacrifice and friendship and trauma and growth either /never/ see each other again, or go to one world together where only maybe one person would ever get to see their OG family again, and might also have to suffer with seeing their life as a film on that planet? Joked about, critiques, not taken seriously, no privacy? That’s just. It’s not a happy ending, or a satisfying one, even for the characters to /fight/ for, regardless of if they can win it or not.

I’m aware that official DbD is multiverse, and there’s no assurance for even say Claudette and Meg being from the same world, let alone the world Halloween happens in, and was when I started writing. I just elected to ignore it. The devs even also explain a lot of the cosmetics as “alternate world versions” of the characters, instead of just fun costumes. I personally think that’s silly? And I’ve really never liked the multiverse decision. I got nothing at all against multiverse stories—they can be amazing—but you’ve got to have a reason if you do, and as far as I can tell, the only reason DbD is multiverse was so the Devs could release a bunch of classic horror characters into their game without worrying about continuity, which is lazy & not a great reason to pick multiverse. It can be great for stories, but in DbD, it would if anything just detract from the reality of the situation & the storytelling? Like, if I showed up in a hell pocket universe, and Michael Myers was there, it would be hard to take that situation entirely seriously, and it would fundamentally change how I interacted with others & they with me. If I knew his history, I’d use that to try to get through to him (what’s the worst that’ll happen? I’ll die like I do every day anyway?), but it would also be just weird & hard for people to relate. Like, if Steve Harrington has had conversations with a buddy about Laurie Strode being careless for not double-tapping her dead assailant & thinks of her as Jamie Lee Curtis & in some ways knows more about her life & family & universe than she does, but knows it all as an element of fiction? And at the same time, Kate’s seen Steve’s actor do interviews & play other roles and caught continuity errors in his /life/ while watching ST??? Hypothetically, someone /could/ unpack all that to tell a story, & maybe a fan has, but the Devs/game really, really haven’t, and in most instances, it’ll just mess up the characters’ abilities to relate to each other as human beings, as well as being miserable for the ones told they’re just characters from horror films in other people’s worlds.

The way DbD is set up really doesn’t lend itself to the kind of meta character vs humanity, role relationships between fiction & life narrative of, say, The Final Girls. Really all it does is make the world less real feeling. Less whole, more artificial. Less to be taken seriously, less belief willing to be suspended. Why are Laurie & Quentin fake in someone’s world? Does Meg not being in a story in Quentin’s universe mean she’s more real? It’s just messy. Multiverse is fine, but if you pick multiverse solely to make your job easier, at the cost of a more coherent, real, and engagable story (@ Devs >.>) that’s lazy/bad writing. I’ve read & enjoyed multiverse stories, but I’d never write DbD that way, bc I’d need a reason to, and I don’t have one. There was really no need for the devs to feel like they had to either, except pure ease w no work at all thinking about how or needing to explain anything, and I wish they hadn’t. : /

Like. Technically, Halloween & Scream shouldn’t be in the same canon—Halloween H20 plays a chunk of Scream 2 on TV, Scream 1 they’re watching Halloween 1978 & Scream 4 Sidney is asked “Who are you? Michael fucking Myers?” When she survives a murder attempt. But that’s not a big deal. It’s not a pivotal piece of world building and canon for either franchise. Scream is not fundamentally different if Randy is watching Friday the 13th or even some made up film, instead of Halloween. On top of that, a lot of horror references each other for fun and as tribute and I’m a huge nerd who adores this tradition. 😂 Scream & Halloween are so tight as franchises by the time Halloween H20 was released, that it actually uses chunks of Scream’s OST. It’s much better narratively for DbD if they’re all from one world, and in a way, it’s just a cool next step to the preexisting horror friendship metas between a lot of films. It’s really fun to figure out how they’d function together in one universe.

Anyway, that was long but I have so many thoughts on DbD & writing thank you for giving me an excuse to gush!! And thank you again for the compliment. I’m really happy you like my writing. It means a lot. 💙

#dead by daylight #misssingingintherain #ask #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #So ye shout out props to anyone who’s actually done multiverse for DbD & put in the work the devs didnt & actually found ways to make that #interesting/add value but also shame on devs for selling out story cohesion and value for ease dealing w continuity & questions.#writing #this ask took 9 years to let me add a read more w/o destroying the rest of the ask thansk tumblr

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alias-b · 5 years ago

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Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 1: Uptown Girl

Touch with Billy Hargrove often meant getting fresh stitches plucked open. For Camille Harper, he'd risk it. Camille was Queen Bee of Hawkins High School. The teen dream. Billy wanted her for it. No use lying about that much. But, they get more than they bargained for when two messy lives from opposite ends of town intertwine. Secrets unravel between them when one dimension bleeds into another. Camille is a girl just trying to do better when Billy barges into her life and new pieces come together. Maybe not all the ones they wanted. He gets tangled into her lavish existence. Rich girl. Absent parents. A mystery that blooms, threatening everything they built. And three little numbers: 006.

A/N: Also posted on my AO3 :))) I thought I’d conform and start posting here too bc why not!. Warning for mention of past bullying, teens drinking/smoking, and one light mention of forced vomiting. Starts at S2 and veers off into an AU at 3. Thanks!

** ** ** ** ** ** **

It had to be a joke. Hick town. Piece of shit school. Nothing here came close to California. It was all gone. That sweet citrus air. The crisp waves of billowing sea water. Billy Hargrove decided anywhere was better than here. Hawkins, Indiana was a pit. Especially while an office aid with horrid breath prattled on across the counter. He couldn’t even fake the charm this morning.

“Here are your classes, Mr. Hargrove. We tend to pair all our transfers with a student. Make your first day easier.”

“Don’t bother.” Billy clutched an old messenger bag in one hand, snatching his class list to his chest. The secretary pretended not to hear him when the office door opened. A bubble of pink gum popped and Billy grew stunned.

“Ah, here she is. Ms. Harper, this is William Hargrove-"

"Billy."

"-the new transfer. He’ll shadow you this morning.”

“Camille,” her lips lifted in greeting. Hair flicked behind her shoulder when she adjusted her sweater. All dark locks and huge green, hazel eyes. They took a beat to stare. Billy knew instantly the circle this girl was in. Picture perfect. Pretty in pink. Prissy thing. Oh, but, she was a fox. His eyes drew to the tiny beauty mark under her right eye. That voice was lush even for a seventeen year old with such a sweet face. But, those eyes. “Let’s see it, transfer.”

“Huh?” Billy lost his thought when her hand came up to pluck the schedule from his fingers.

“I’ve got it from here, Ms. Krueger.”

“Harper. Hargrove. Har har. Perfect fit,” the woman laughed at her joke and Camille looped one arm in Billy’s to get this boy to move his ass. She wouldn’t let him make her late.

“Good one, Ms. Krueger.” That sweet princess smile dropped the moment they turned the corner so she pulled from him when he fell in stride. Billy was barely two inches taller than her. This girl glided like a ballerina. It was infuriating. Almost. “Shame I didn’t find you earlier, I could have warned you to keep a distance. That woman doesn’t know her way around a bottle of mouthwash.” Camille popped another bubble and peered up at him, lax. “We have first period together. English with Strode.” Billy found his charm again.

“Lucky for you.” He remarked, earning the slightest huff of amusement. Barely audible. Students peered at them both, fascinated with the new boy. Sizing him up. He carried himself higher in response and grew annoyed when his thoughts lingered on Max probably stuck with awkward introductions as well.

“Looks like I’ll also be seeing you in...hm, third period: study hall, lunch, and fourth period: chemistry. Huh...” Those bright eyes lifted and he gave a scoff, grumbling.

“Everything else was full.”

“This way,” she turned the corner and peered up to meet Nancy’s eyes. She’d pulled from Steve and given a slight wave that was acknowledged in turn. Camille passed her and ignored everyone’s staring before she knocked one knuckle to metal. “Your locker. Lucky boy, you didn’t get a broken one.” She leaned against the wall and gave him a moment to stuff books away. “Where did you transfer from?” Camille watched him suck in his cheeks. Jaw clenched. Oh, he was pretty.

“California.” He cocked his head and she caught the slightest dusting of freckles in the light. “Dad decides to uproot the family to the land of manure.”

“You get used to that.” That silent amusement twitched.

“Don’t bet on it.” He smacked the door shut, smooth now. “You the queen bee around here?”

“What’s it to you?” She walked along, gliding still.

“Every school has their royalty.” Billy remarked and she changed the subject without breaking stride. A sort of challenge danced between them.

“This way. Mrs. Strode is easy enough. Just nod a lot when she eyes you and pretend to take notes. You have Gym next. Down the hall all the way to the end, take a left, you’ll find it. Big room with basketball hoops and sweaty boys. Can’t miss it.” Miss Priss liked her dry humor, he noted. "I can meet you and show you where to go after. Keep up and don’t make me late. We clear, transfer?” She tilted her head to one side and Billy studied her.

“Crystal.” He drew out the syllables and she smirked, turning to go off with another flick of lavish hair.

“Welcome to Hawkins, Billy Hargrove.”

** ** ** **

“How did you get the best job in school?” Carol leaned over the lunch table hours later.

“Carol,” Camille sighed with no joy and pulled from her conversation with Heather next to her.

“Showing that fine ass around?”

“Aren’t you still with Tommy? Thought he was ass enough.” Camille earned a snicker from Heather so Carol stood taller.

“Some of us are trying to eat,” Steve Harrington appeared from nothing and Carol shot him a look, going around him and bumping into Nancy on the way off.

“Still bitter,” Camille remarked, sitting back.

“She needs to get over herself. Anyways, I have to drop something off, see you in chem. New lab partners coming. I think I got Robin.” Heather hurried to go with a wave goodbye.

“Can I sit?” Steve waited for a nod and Nancy joined him.

“You two going to Tina’s Halloween party?” Orange flyers where littered all over the school.

“Wouldn’t miss it. Didn’t that guy jump off the roof last year and land in the koi pond?” Steve shook his head

“Rumor had it, he ate one of those fish on a bet.” Camille joked, eyes flicked across the way to see Tina giving Billy an invitation. Flirting.

“So, the new boy.” Nancy began.

"Asshole." Steve was quick to remark. "I have gym with the guy."

“Rough and tumble sort.” Camille bit into an apple slice and shrugged. Year later and it was strange. Being friends again. Or, trying to. Suppose tragedy brings people together.

“Steve and I are going tonight. To the Holland’s.” Nancy began. “You’re welcome again.”

“Not sure I can do it tonight. Last time...and that house.” Camille paused, inhaling. “And my parents are going to be home together for the first time in weeks. They’ll want to do something.”

“Dad still working late at Hawkins lab?” Nancy pretended to be blasé about it.

“That and all the trips. He’s a wanted man, I guess. Mom is absorbed into her fashion thing. But, she loves it and I can’t knock her wanting to work again.”

“What exactly does your dad do there these days?”

“Never talks about it so I stopped asking. Big shot scientists. Can’t be bothered. Making the town a better place, always late to dinner. Whatever.” Camille’s eyes lifted. “Why the interest in my Dad lately?”

“Just all that stuff last year. A lot happened. Fingers were pointed.”

“They pointed wrong, I heard. Not like my dad would ever be involved in these weird conspiracies. He’s painfully normal.”

“He could secretly be a Terminator, Cam,” Steve laughed and Nancy dropped it when Camille reached over to smack her friend.

“Real funny.” She stood with her tray. “He says he helps people. He’s wanted to help people his whole life. I’ve heard every speech possible about it. But, whatever tests they’re running, they can’t exactly flash that all over the news. Small town labs, you know, they’re nothing. They’re glorified electric companies.”

“They certainly can’t flash it.” Nancy tried to smile.

“Tell Mrs. Holland I’m thinking about her.”

“I will.” Nancy gave a nod, resting back while Camille dumped her trash out and couldn’t spot Billy when the bell rang. Huffing, she rolled her eyes and marched out, turning to sneak down the hallway and open a back door to a set of stone steps. Her assigned shadow was leaning into them, hurrying to snuff out a smoke.

“Easy, beach boy, it’s me. You’re making me late for chem.”

“Broke Princess’s rule, huh. How’d you find me so quick?”

“Know the type. All the smokers who think they’re slick slip out this door. It’s the spot. Come on.” She cocked her head and he slipped in.

“Tell me about that Steve Harrington guy. More royalty.”

“Making new friends already. How sweet is that.” She picked up the pace when the bell rang again. “Steve, the hair, Harrington. Probably the most popular boy in school. Even after last year.”

“Hearing a lot about last year.” Billy pretended not to care. Nothing exciting in manure land. So he thought.

“Little boy went missing, it was a whole big thing. Thought he died but they found him. Thankfully.”

“Girl went missing too in our class.”

“Barb. They...haven’t found her.” Camille averted her eyes and he dropped that subject. “Steve ruled the school with the rest of us. Certain things went down and our group split. High school drama and all. Not very interesting. Why the questions, don’t you hate this place? Trying to be the new hair guy with those darling curls?”

“Just like to know what I’m up against.”

“Rough and tumble and in need of a new challenge. Noted. Hurry up.” Camille rushed into class with Billy unbothered behind her.

“Ah, Ms. Harper and you brought the new transfer, how nice. Take the last two seats in back. You’ll be lab partners.” Mrs. West gestured, a younger teacher than his others here. Lovely, Camille turned her eyes to Billy and he looked utterly smug. “Billy Hargrove just transferred from California. See to it, class, that he feels welcomed.”

“So far, so good, teach.” He turned up the charm with a wink and earned several girls sitting forward in response before he sauntered down to join Camille at a high table they would share. Pretty and aggravating, Camille decided. Billy eyed her again while the teacher began and she pulled a notebook out. Sleeves shifted up and he noticed a scar, small and round just an inch or so under her wrist. Looked like a burn. Hazel eyes lifted to see his blue ones and there was...nothing. Nothing there that he’d gotten from every other girl at this school admiring his ass in tight jeans. Billy took note to himself: a stone fox.

** ** **

“How was school, honey?” Noah Harper locked the attic door behind him and Camille pretended she wasn’t trying to see into it. His eyes were intent until the lock clicked.

“Fine. Had to show another new guy around.” She eyed the attic again. The only forbidden room in their huge house. “We still on for dinner with mom?”

“About that...” He saw her shoulders drop. “Something came up and they need me tonight.”

“You promised.” She batted her eyes.

“I know and I’ll make it up to you.” He kissed her head. “Did you take your pills?”

“Yes.”

“New dose is helping, I’m sure.”

“Less nosebleeds.” Camille shrugged, averting her eyes before she turned to go down the steps.

“Camille, honey, I promise that we’ll get dinner next time.”

“I know,” she faked a smile. “I get it.”

“You are...everything to me. I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last year. You are so important. Trust that.” He came to her, tucking hair aside.

“I love you, dad.” She let herself brighten. Just a little. Noah watched her turn to go off. Her mother was currently in her own studio, light filled the room while she mulled over a drawing and turned to pin pieces of fabric to a bodice on a stand.

“Bow or no bow, darling?” Rosemary, a women growing more beautiful with age, mused and Camille considered it.

“Bow.” She plopped into a cushioned chair.

“Talked to your father, did you?” She watched her daughter nod with a pout. “We can still have our dinner and watch whatever romantic movie we wish.”

“I know. I just...never see him anymore. It’s worse.”

“It’ll get better again, they’re short staffed after those accidents. Your father was lucky to be out of town.”

“He’s always out of town.” Camille tried not to whine. “I see Edna more than I see you two.”

“We certainly have kept her busy with this house. She adores you.” The maid practically raised her.

“I just miss my parents.”

“We just want you to have a better life than us. That’s all any parent wishes for. We work hard and can only teach so much. You’ll understand when you grow older.” Rosemary kissed her daughter’s hair. “How was school? I heard talk of a new student. A boy?”

“Yes...”

“A cute boy?”

“Gorgeous and bad news for certain.” Camille crossed her arms.

“So you like him?”

“Every girl liked him and he loved that.” She stood up. Billy was a bad boy drawn to royalty. “Going to get my homework out of the way.”

“Pasta tonight?”

“Yes, of course.” Camille hurried off, eyeing that attic down the long hallway before she continued on.

** ** **

Camille didn’t speak to Billy much that next day. He sat behind her in English and resisted the urge to tug on loose locks of bouncy hair when she shifted in her seat. Study hall was similar, she sat alone with a book on Latin; completely absorbed. Smart and popular. An entire compact package. He could have wrapped her in a pretty, pink ribbon. The thought was enticing. Camille wasn’t the rich bitch she used to be. Well, still working on that but progress lingered between every little conversation with Nancy. Frankly, it was nice to be rid of Tommy and Carol in their group. She took note often of Steve and Nancy huddling together to whisper these days and stopping when she or Heather walked up.

“Happy Halloween, Cam.” Heather never grew out of her sweet face. Doe eyes to match.

“It is indeed. Want to come over and get ready for Tina’s party? My mom seemed excited about it and it’ll break her heart if we don’t let her fuss.”

“Your house is a mansion, I wouldn’t miss it.” Heather laughed to herself.

“I’ll drive you,” Camille cocked her head when they got outside. Billy’s blue Camaro whizzed loudly out of the parking lot. They caught sight of a little redhead in the passenger seat. “Didn’t know he had a sister.”

“Stepsister, I guess. Seemed pretty short about that. She’s the same age as Nancy’s brother.” The two friends got into Camille’s little grey car to speed off. “Are you going out for gymnastics again this year?”

“Ah, not sure. Might tutor instead, they’ve been asking me.”

“Thinking I’ll stay with cheer-leading. I’m so jealous of your brain.” Heather huffed to herself.

“Okay, weird.” Camille laughed and turned a corner.

“I’m serious. You’re somehow beautiful and you absorb books like a sponge absorbs water. And you’re different… Nicer.”

“Okay, rude...but true.” She’d admitted and Heather smiled.

“Good different like happier. Relaxed. You and Nancy are talking again. We never thought we’d see that day. Ever since…you know.”

“I grew tits early and started dressing better and dropped my two friends. Yeah. Lesson learned.”

“It’s just better now. Never too late I guess even for Queen Bee.”

“Too sappy for your own good,” Camille peered over when they passed the Loch Nora sign and pulled up to her house. Lavish and cared for. Cold on occasion when they weren’t throwing the usual holiday party. “Taking your son out tonight, Edna?” Camille stopped the housekeeper on the way out. She was only in her twenties when she came to their family to look after this house and, admittedly, the daughter within whose parents were never around.

“Yes, he’s so excited. Wanted to be the Terminator this year.” She laughed. “Goodnight, Milly.”

“Night,” Camille looped her arm in Heather’s and led her inside where her mother was waiting.

** ** **

Music boomed, vibrating Tina’s house while every teen inside danced about. Many wandered the grounds with red cups full of stolen booze. Spotting Nancy and Steve, Camille crossed with Heather behind her. Two drinks down into her stomach. Working on the third.

“Aw, couples costume. I have to say I’m impressed.” Camille watched Nancy smile with dull eyes.

“Madonna,” Steve eyed Heather, “best one yet.”

“Damn, I knew I’d have competition.” Heather giggled and pulled Nancy off to get a drink.

“She okay?” Camille asked after a beat and Steve rubbed his head.

“Not sure, she’s been acting weird ever since...ah,” Steve stopped himself. “You know it’s been a year and the dinner, I think...it brought some stuff up.”

“Keep an eye on her, something’s off. Something’s been off...with you both.”

“We’ll be fine. Relax.” Steve ran a hand into his locks and Camille gave him a nod, passing to go outside and escape the pounding music. That’s where she saw Billy again. Clad in even tighter jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt. Fingerless gloves. Terminator, she amused herself. Currently, he was hoisted upside down over the keg, easily beating Steve’s held record, while admirers around him cheered and counted. He spotted her and winked even in his position, causing her to roll her eyes and drink from her own cup.

“Yeah!” He got upright and sprayed beer, earning more drunk cheers. Tommy was an eager lackey, egging him on and nearly shoved up his ass. “That’s how you do it, Hawkins!” He puffed a cigarette as the wild crowds hurried back to join the dancing.

“The new keg king!” Tommy bellowed and Billy paid him no mind, crossing toward Camille leaning near the doorway. Eyes narrowing and deliberate, he stalked like a lion and she was undaunted.

“You’re fitting in.” She commented so he blew smoke the other way. “Nice costume.”

“And you are, ah, some kind of witch.” He gestured with his hands.

“Stevie Nicks.” She chuckled. “As in: Fleetwood Mac. But, honestly, you’re not wrong.”

“Think you meant, bitch. Hey, Harper.” Tommy leaned over Billy’s shoulder, wasted. “Still flying lower with Steve and Miss Perfect?”

“Oh, Tommy. Don’t be like that,” Camille smiled with red lips splitting wide. An expression that cut. “Glad to see you and Carol still going so strong.” She stepped forward, craning her neck to see him behind Billy. A true predator. Slow and calculating. Billy couldn’t help but leer. She acted like he wasn’t even there between them. Princess played up a pout. “Do you remember when you two had that little break and you wrote me that...dirty...nasty...filthy letter. Spelling and grammar problems aside, it was…vividly detailed. Billy, you should have been around for that.” She gave his shoulder a pat and shivers ran his spine, amusement flickered his own expression. “Tommy, here, is quite the writer. I still have it, thinking of getting a chic frame. Something classy.” She gulped the rest of her cup. “Maybe, I ought to get together with Carol. Compare notes sometime. I’m sure she’d adore that.” Camille gave Tommy’s cheek a light smack and pressed her empty cup toward him until he took it. “Enjoy the party, boys. Queen’s gotta buzz.”

“Stay away from that one,” Tommy scoffed, pushing at Billy next to him who only smiled. “Daddy’s girl. Spoiled nightmare. Total bitch.” Billy inhaled smoke again and flicked ashes in Tommy’s direction to get him off his back.

“Rough and tumble girl.” He’d muttered more so to himself. Camille crossed to get another drink when Tommy came in boasting about their new keg king.

“Eat it, Harrington!” Another boy joined in. Chants of Billy’s name died down when the two teens sized each other up. Steve yanked his sunglasses away. Instant disdain. Nancy rolled her eyes and turned to get away from them, crossing to the bowl of punch.

“What’s in this one?” She leaned over to grab a cup.

“Pure fuel!” The drunk boy on Camille’s other side donned a toga and stumbled.

“Rat poison.” Camille was flat, sipping. "And I was so hoping for gasoline, we had rat poison at the last party." Nancy was already dunking her cup in to gulp.

“Whoa, slow down.” Camille touched her wrist. Nancy went in for another and Steve hurried over when Camille gave him a look.

“Take it easy, Nance. Hey...” He put his arm out and she scoffed at him, wiping the punch from her cheek.

“We’re just being stupid teenagers for the night. Wasn’t that the deal?” She was already intoxicated after three full cups. Ruefully, she moved beyond her friends and went to join the dancing with a fourth cup.

“I told you.” Camille pushed at Steve so he went after her. “What the hell?” She'd uttered under her breath, turning to almost run into Billy Hargrove’s bare chest. He enjoyed it a little too much.

“Scare you?”

“Second day in the manure fields of Hawkins and you are the new keg king. Your majesty.” She gave a mocking curtsy and shifted around him to lean against an empty doorway. The air smelled of booze and weed. Billy trailed after to light up another smoke. Intrigued, he puffed and offered it to her. A clear test. Intoxicated, Camille took it and dragged slowly, blowing air aside. “Afraid I only smoke on the rare drunken social occasion.” She offered it back with two fingers only for him to wrap his lips around it, blue eyes lingering when he inhaled. “You think you’re slick, don’t you?” Her hand pulled from him and he ghosted a smile with smoke edging between his teeth around the cigarette. Billy leaned into her space.

“You really think I can’t get a read on you, Harpy?” He was pleasantly drunk too.

“Harpy? That’s a new one.” Did she like it? Perhaps. “And, yes, actually. I do.”

“Got used to all these country boys tripping over themselves. Worker bee drones. But, you know they don’t stand a chance and you love it.” He pressed his palm to the door frame behind her to shift closer. Cologne invaded her senses above the smoke. Ashes flicked. He dragged once more and snuffed it into the wall after. “They all fall down. Can’t read the queen.”

“And you think you’re quick enough on your feet, Billy?” She watched that dear, charming smile cross his face. Hard not to melt at that. Camille trailed her eyes down his sharpened expression. His voice hushed.

“I think that you want to find out.” He leaned into her, eyelashes fluttering. Barely inches from those full, red lips; Billy heard her utter and touch his chest.

“Shit.” Camille came out from him to see Nancy trying to get back into the punch bowl. Billy stilled to lean out too, irritation twitched his brow. Almost had her.

“Nancy, stop, put it down.” Steve tried to wrestle the cup from her and Nancy was accidentally splashed with a full drink. Staining her white costume. The party stilled briefly to see the scuffle.

“What the hell?” Nancy slapped the cup down and hurried away. Camille forgot Billy in front of her and crossed after with Steve behind her. Nancy stumbled down a hallway and tripped with her friend barely catching her.

“Come on, I got you.”

“I don’t need your help,” Nancy pushed off and poked her shoulder. “You can’t just...just pretend to be my friend again because you feel sorry for Barb and I.”

“Nancy...it isn’t like that. I lost her too.” Camille stood taller. Steve drew forward as if to get between them.

“Where were you, then? Huh? Bullshitting with...with all your cool new people. Stuffing fingers down your throat because Carol said to." It only happened twice. "Buying another cool outfit, oh, so p-popular. Impress your asshole friends. We...We killed Barb.”

“Nancy, stop.” Steve tried to get her into the bathroom.

“She needed us. She was always there for us and we weren’t there!” Nancy jerked away and spun on her heel to shut herself into the bathroom. Steve paused to see the girl behind him.

“I deserved that.”

“She drank too much. She didn’t mean it,” Steve touched her arm. “And no, you didn’t. You and I...we made some shitty choices.”

“People were hurt because of them.” Camille offered.

“We can do better. We are.” Steve nodded. “I need to check on her.”

“Of course,” Camille turned and went back into the main room. Jonathan Byers crossed to see her. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

“I didn’t either.” Jonathan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “She okay?”

“I’m not sure anymore. Something's been… You guys are friends now, yeah?”

“Friends, I, uh, yes. We...We’re friends.” He’d stammered.

“Look. Have you noticed anything...off?”

“Off?” Jonathan shrugged awkwardly. “No, just-”

“The anniversary. Sure. Look, Jonathan, she likes you. She trusts you. Can you just...keep an eye on her?” She crossed her arms and there was a beat. “We weren’t ever friends and I was...not great to you.”

“You let your friend smash my camera.”

“You used that camera to take pictures of a girl undressing without her consent.” She pressed in an even tone and Jonathan dropped his head to nod. “We’re all stupid ass teenagers, right?”

“Guess so,” Jonathan relaxed when she smiled slightly at him. Steve came barging out to pass them, leaving.

“That isn’t good. Hey, I’m...too drunk to drive. Can you get Nancy home? She’s...not well.”

“Yeah,” Jonathan moved to pass her. “Stay safe.”

“You too...” She watched him go off, dropping her arms. Killed Barb. Nancy’s words. They haunted Camille the rest of that night.

** ** **

Camille stared at her chemistry book in study hall the next day, day dreaming while she doodled along her notebook. Killed Barb. Did Nancy believe that? Did they know more about that night? Those words flashed high like stage lights across her brain. A textbook slapped down across the way and Billy Hargrove was looking at her with those intent eyes. Pleased she jumped in shock, he suppressed a laugh when the librarian hushed him.

“Don’t think she likes me.” He muttered, still entertained.

“Can’t imagine why.” Camille sat back, annoyed. “What?”

“You’re avoiding me, Harpy.” He cocked his head and plopped down across from her. In the corner, they tried to stay hushed. Classic music played on low and Billy groaned to himself. “Not my fault that Strode paired us together for the project.” Camille shut her chem book and stuffed it away.

“Easy project, we pick a book from the list. Read it. Collaborate in a paper.”

“Pick one and sum it up for me.” He earned a silent laugh when she turned from him to peer outside at the crisp, grey day.

“Oh no, Billy boy, you’re going to at the very least skim the book and happily contribute to our paper. You can come to my place after school today, we’ll work on it. After you drop your sister off, I guess.”

“Max is my stepsister.” He corrected while she jotted her address down and slipped it into his hands.

“Be there or face my perfect student wrath.”

“Spitfire, I like it.” He leaned forward, arms crossing over the table. “You live in the rich neighborhood. Mommy and daddy going to be okay when I roll up to see their precious daughter? Oh, can’t forget the maid checking in all hours of the day.”

“They’re both out on business and the housekeeper is off today actually.”

“So, you’re inviting me to a big, empty house in the ritzy part of town...” He had far too many ideas.

“To work...on a project. There’s free take-out of our choosing in the deal if you show. And that sweet face will show.” She barely spared him a glance, clearly distracted still. Billy worked to catch her gaze.

“Worried about college when dearest dad can buy you any single one you want?”

“No, I just like to be the best.” She leaned forward too with a sly grin. “I enjoy school and I’m not planning on staying in a fancy house in Hawkins, Indiana with a husband I’ll never see. Especially when there is a whole world out there waiting for me to explore it.”

“Manure ain’t good enough for you now?”

“Very funny. Hawkins is too small for me. And I have a good brain that I like to put to use. I'm wasted here.” She shrugged. “No crime in that and daddy didn’t buy me everything, I saved for my own car. Now, I think you should use study hall to...study. That chem quiz Friday is going to kick your ass.”

“No use, I’m screwed.” He looked away and changed the subject. “What kind of take-out?”

“Possibly a large cheese pizza.” She quirked her lips while he rubbed his jaw.

“Hard bargain. Throw green peppers on half the pizza and I want a grand tour of your castle. You can put the royal stinger away for one night.”

“You’re just trying to waste time, Hargrove,” her eyes narrowed. Billy bit his bottom lip, entertained with a nod. Another heart melting expression when he gave her those big, blue eyes. “Deal.” She reached out and he curled his fingers around her hand to shake it.

"You won't regret this," his other hand covered hers to draw it out.

"Already am." She produced that honeyed smile a final time. Billy stood with his bag gripped tight, sliding around the table to lean next to her ear.

“I stand by what I said at the party. Just so we’re clear.” Slipping off, he disappeared behind a row of bookshelves. Camille suppressed another grin and went back to her notebook, shading in the petals of a sunflower. She imagined it in a field flooded by sunlight getting kissed by the wind. The smile broke through at the mere thought.

#billy hargrove #Billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy x camille #Camille Harper #Without the lights #billyhargrove #mine #writing #stranger things fic

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vanaera · 5 years ago

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@nixwrites replied to your post The Heart Holiday | Act 2 (2/2) | myg

OMG. This was so good and uggh this made me feel mad and so so so glad! Like I was up to that point where I had to stuff my face in a pillow to stop myself from laughing ny head off because there are people around me. " It sounds weird—like a grandpa wheezing in front of an electric fan." This made me laugh so hard 😂 This chapter was so good. And drunk Y/n is just the cutest. I wanted to hug her so bad after the call with Nancy and when Yoongi did, I was trying to

muffle my voices with the pillow beside me lol(I think the pillow experienced this fic too 😂) And author, your writing is sooo good don't even try denying it. Well idk but if my fic is able to make peole use their pillow to hide their feelings their face is showing because other people are around them and might think their crazy then that's really something. Your writing is so tremendously awesome and spectacular I think I'm in love and I will desperately, patiently

Wait for the next update, thank you so much for this fic it's so good! I loved this so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

And I have more to say about the moments in this chapter but I'll keep them to myself because I already wrote a huge comment there and oh! I almost forgot please tag me too in the next update :)

OMG NIX!!! I FINALLY KNOW YOUR NAME, YOU CHANGED URLS!!

Hon, what you just said here...is I think every writer wants to hear from their readers. I'm happy that this fic made you ride the emotional roller coaster with my characters. I even got you using a pillow to hide your facial expressions! This comment just makes me remember why I even want to write. I want my readers to experience things and feel things they may have never felt before through my characters. To take them to the worlds I make and make them just...feel. I think the constant shits that's happening in the world rn have deemed some of us unable to feel bc some of us might have long been dealing with dread, anxiety, or sadness that it's hard to even tell the difference if we're happy or not. I want my writings to make them see that it's possible to feel other things, even if it's just through fictional worlds. And I think I accomplished a bit this goal bc I was able to make you feel this way.

You're right. I think our pillows also experienced the stories we read. Fluffy fics make me squeal into my pillow too! And some angst stories gets our tears to keep running down our pillow. I remember reading a really angsty fic back in 2015 that I cried so hard that my tears left a stain on my pillow for three days! Ugh, idk why I suddenly got this emotional about pillows, I just realized this now bc of your commment.

And yeah, drunk THH!Y/N was the cutest! Can you believe I was also squealing hard while writing the scene of Yoongi piggyback riding her while stressing about finding her keys in her bag? Tbh, my single-since-birth ass wants so hard to experience the stuff THH!Y/N did 😭. And omg, you laughed at OC's description of yoongi's laugh! I also laughed hard whike writing that! I think I'm not that funny so I just try to be funny in my writings. And I guess my humor went well with this one!

Thank you for thinking so highly of me, Nix 🥺. I try my best not to disappoint...Thank you so much for these kind words. You don't know how happy I am to read them again and again. Don't worry about sending a long comment. I always love hearing what my readers has to say. So just comment all you want! Thank you so so much for loving THH, hon. You really got me like this: 😭😔🥺😊🥰I am so blessed to have you as my reader! I love you 💕

#aera blushes #the heart holiday #reviews #thh #nixwrites #sorry this is so long #you just got me so happy i can't STOP smiling!#and gushing! and crying! bc of so much love!#i always wished to experience something akin like this when people react to my work in the future #i didn't expect it will happen now!#thank you for lwtting me experience so many tjings 🥺#i love you 😭😭😭#p.s. of course I'm gonna add you in my taglist! 💕#the heart holiday feedback

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lagaudiiere · 5 years ago

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RE: NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER THINGS:

Can we talk about how paranoid Nancy was when she walked into school the day after her first time with Steve? ( Chapter Three: Holly Jolly ). Mind you it was a lot of things, like the fact that she had to have left before her & Steve had a chance to talk about it, but it’s a small town, people talk & you best be careful what it is they end up saying about you because that sticks with you until you leave ( if you leave. ) You see how jumpy she is, the way she almost withdraws into herself, shoulders slightly hunched, head down ( contrast this with how comfortably & casually she walked in with Barb an episode or two ago, & it really highlights the difference. She may not have been popular before her & Steve were a thing — arguably, she wasn’t even when they were, she was just in that crowd, but she was comfortable where she was & she was confident — she was smart, she was little miss perfect, at least in other people’s eyes. ) She literally jumps when Steve meets her at her locker, she’s practically braced for an onslaught of something, be it harsh words or something. Steve notices ( he always does seem to notice when something’s off with her, which is so important because Nancy Wheeler’s first & automatic instinct is to insist she’s okay, that everything’s fine, everything’s great & Nancy vc: it’s bullshit.

But this has been her coping mechanism & the only way she knows how to deal — until someone calls her out, or notices. Steve notices — although this time it is quite obvious, people often see what they want to see but he still asks ) & he asks if everything’s okay. Instinctively, automatically, she responds. It’s like a gut reaction, ❛ Yeah, yeah totally. ❜ But then after a moment’s hesitation, she does tell him. ❛ I just — I feel like everyone’s … staring at me. ❜ & she looks around, as if to emphasize her point. What I find really interesting is that, Steve automatically knows. He doesn’t miss a beat. ❛ Oh I didn’t tell anyone. ❜ So apparently this staring & slut shaming thing is a common theme in Hawkins, or at least in their school. You even see bits of this when Nancy mentions the other girls Steve’s been linked to. It’s stupid, but it’s how things are, & they’re looked at differently because of their choices & what they have done with others. Either that or, once again, Steve knows exactly what’s wrong with her, or going on. I’d say it’s a mix of the two at the very least. She knows it wouldn’t have been him, her immediate response says as much but then she goes — but what about Tommy & Carol & them?

Again, she’s uncomfortable, words a little hesitant, & he immediately dismisses it, says she’s being paranoid — but then, once again in Steve Harrington fashion, he realizes it isn’t enough & says exactly what she needed to hear in that moment tbh. She had been nervous & anxious, & shy, & she didn’t know where they stood anymore especially what with his previous relationships, & he eases all ( or at least most ) of that away with what she needs to hear & you can see her body language relax.

Phew. Still with me? Now let’s talk about Nancy the Slut Wheeler things.

We initially find out something is up when some stupid boys honk at her & talk about her movie. She’s immediately uncomfortable & it takes her a second but she’s smart & the town’s small. She’s running. On her way there, you see people glancing at her, the women quickly looking away, people standing at the theater pointing at the big crimson letters ( starring NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER. ) She’s literally staring there, openmouthed, unable to even imagine how this came about, & it’s probably all that paranoia from before, except it’s a million times worse because it’s real & it’s not just people at school that are going to be talking, it’s everyone. Friends, people at school, classmates, teachers, neighbors, her parents, Mike & his friends. Again, bear in mind, while she had done nothing, we have seen the mentality of the town, & it’s a small town. The moment the anger & shock wears off, you see tears gathering in her eyes & she’s looking around because she knows, this town talks, this town is small-minded & right there is her proof — a couple walking past, looking at her as if she’s some freak ( the wow the woman says doesn’t help ) & the guy pushes her to keep walking as if being near Nancy is bad. You can see her breathing heavily & my heart literally hurts. Let’s not forget what last night had actually been & what hell she’d already been put through. She’s trying so hard to be okay, & I find it worth noting that few things get real reactions out of her because she tries so hard to be fine & strong — this & the night before have both gotten real reactions.

Nancy, who’s been trying all her life to maintain this persona of perfection, of being okay, has everything literally just crashing before her eyes.

& she hears laughter. She sees Steve. The boy she’d finally trusted & let in, the boy she was telling Jonathan earlier in the woods how great he was ( again, a huge contrast to the start of the show when she was insisting they were just make out buddies — see, Nancy isn’t someone who says to your face how she feels, the actions & the little things show it. )

I don’t want to even talk about that moment because it’s all kinds of awful, but I find it incredible how she literally walks away. She could have yelled at him, explained something, but she literally just turns on her heel to leave. Again fast forward bc we all know, which btw, she doesn’t even get two seconds to deal or be to herself because of the fight.

Still with me? If so you’re really the real MVPs guys.

The aftermath. She’s able to forget about it temporarily or at least push it aside, ignore what happened for the time being because she’s got far bigger things to worry about. Forget school, forget that stupid chemistry test she’s got, forget the stupid gossip, she’s seen the monster & she needs to find Barb ( let’s not even talk about when she finds out Barb is gone, we’re at novel length already. ) But what about after? When she goes back to school, or walks the streets? How many more times will she have walk the streets, shoulders hunched, this time not because she’s being paranoid. How much worse is that? How many more boys will honk at her way, catcall, follow her around, bother her at school? This looks even worse because for the time being, she’s not with Steve either, however long that is, so she does start to look like that Becky, & whoever else she’d said she wasn’t like in that night they studied together. How many women & couples will whisper things as they walk hurriedly, how many parents will speed up just a bit with their children when they see Nancy? By the way, she doesn’t drive or have a car, & now that Steve isn’t picking her up, how does she get to school, what about that? What does she say to her parents? We’ve seen Nancy & how she deals, she doesn’t.

She doesn’t say anything to her parents, the same way she doesn’t tell anyone about her trip to the upside down, the same way she hadn’t told anyone about her family’s situation before Jonathan. But she’ll be more quiet at the dinner table, be more removed, & she’s already dealt with so much, she really doesn’t need this on top of everything else? What does she say to Mike? Because again, he’s probably at the very least heard, & idk about you but when something awful happens that my younger brother knows, I want to tell him but at the same time, I can’t because, even if I’m not at fault, it’s embarrassing? She’s ashamed, & it angers her because she knows she shouldn’t be? And plus, she’s supposed to be the older sibling, she’s supposed to be the stronger one & help him, not vice versa. & again, they’ve both been through hell, so she doesn’t want to add that. More uncomfortable silence, more hunched shoulders, more pouring it all into herself, more being not okay & insisting she was.

tl;dr Nancy Wheeler went through hell & god dammit she deserves the world & people don’t give her nearly the amount of credit she deserves.

#&. ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ( ɴᴀɴᴄʏ ᴡʜᴇᴇʟᴇʀ. )

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lagaudiiere-archive · 6 years ago

Text

RE: NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER THINGS:

Can we talk about how paranoid Nancy was when she walked into school the day after her first time with Steve? ( Chapter Three: Holly Jolly ). Mind you it was a lot of things, like the fact that she had to have left before her & Steve had a chance to talk about it, but it’s a small town, people talk & you best be careful what it is they end up saying about you because that sticks with you until you leave ( if you leave. ) You see how jumpy she is, the way she almost withdraws into herself, shoulders slightlyhunched, head down ( contrast this with how comfortably & casually she walked in with Barb an episode or two ago, & it really highlights the difference. She may not have been popular before her & Steve were a thing — arguably, she wasn’t even whenthey were, she was just in that crowd, but she was comfortable where she was & she was confident — she was smart, she was little miss perfect, at least in other people’s eyes. ) She literally jumps when Steve meets her at her locker, she’s practicallybraced for an onslaught of something, be it harsh words or something. Steve notices ( he always does seem to notice when something’s off with her, which is so important because Nancy Wheeler’s first & automatic instinct is to insist she’s okay, that everything’s fine, everything’s great & Nancy vc: it’s bullshit.

Phew. Still with me? Now let’s talk about Nancy the Slut Wheeler things.

We initially find out something is up when some stupid boys honk at her & talk about her movie. She’s immediately uncomfortable & it takes her a second but she’s smart & the town’s small. She’s running. On her way there, you see people glancing at her, the women quickly looking away, people standing at the theater pointing at the big crimson letters ( starring NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER. ) She’s literally staring there, openmouthed, unable to even imagine how this came about, & it’s probably all that paranoia from before, except it’s a million times worse because it’s real & it’s not just people at school that are going to be talking, it’s everyone. Friends, people at school, classmates, teachers, neighbors, her parents, Mike & his friends. Again, bear in mind, while she had done nothing, we have seen the mentality of the town, & it’s a small town. The moment the anger & shock wears off, you see tears gathering in her eyes & she’s looking around because she knows, this town talks, this town is small-minded &right there is her proof — a couple walking past, looking at her as if she’s some freak ( the wow the woman says doesn’t help ) & the guy pushes her to keep walking as if being near Nancy is bad. You can see her breathing heavily & my heart literally hurts. Let’s not forget what last night had actually been & what hell she’d already been put through. She’s trying so hard to be okay, & I find it worth noting that few things get real reactions out of her because she tries so hard to be fine & strong — this & the night before have both gotten real reactions.

Nancy, who’s been trying all her life to maintain this persona of perfection, of being okay, has everything literally just crashing before her eyes.

Still with me? If so you’re really the real MVPs guys.

The aftermath. She’s able to forget about it temporarily or at least push it aside, ignore what happened for the time being because she’s got far bigger things to worry about. Forget school, forget that stupid chemistry test she’s got, forget the stupid gossip, she’s seen the monster & she needs to find Barb ( let’s not even talk about when she finds out Barb is gone, we’re at novel length already. ) But what about after? When she goes back to school, or walks the streets? How many more times will she have walk the streets, shoulders hunched, this time not because she’s being paranoid. How much worse is that? How many more boys will honk at her way, catcall, follow her around, bother her at school? This looks even worse because for the time being, she’s not with Steve either, however long that is, so she does start to look like that Becky, & whoever else she’d said she wasn’t like in that night they studied together. How many women & couples will whisper things as they walk hurriedly, how manyparents will speed up just a bit with their children when they see Nancy? By the way, she doesn’t drive or have a car, & now that Steve isn’t picking her up, how does she get to school, what about that? What does she say to her parents? We’ve seen Nancy& how she deals, she doesn’t.

She doesn’t say anything to her parents, the same way she doesn’t tell anyone about her trip to the upside down, the same way she hadn’t told anyone about her family’s situation before Jonathan. But she’ll be more quiet at the dinner table, be moreremoved, & she’s already dealt with so much, she really doesn’t need this on top of everything else? What does she say to Mike? Because again, he’s probably at the very least heard, & idk about you but when something awful happens that my younger brother knows, I want to tell him but at the same time, I can’t because, even if I’m not at fault, it’s embarrassing? She’s ashamed, & it angers her because she knows she shouldn’t be? And plus, she’s supposed to be the older sibling, she’s supposed to be the stronger one & help him, not vice versa. & again, they’ve both been through hell, so she doesn’t want to add that. More uncomfortable silence, more hunched shoulders, more pouring it all into herself, more being not okay & insisting she was.

tl;dr Nancy Wheeler went through hell & god dammit she deserves the world & people don’t give her nearly the amount of credit she deserves.

#&. ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ( ɴᴀɴᴄʏ ᴡʜᴇᴇʟᴇʀ. )#{ this is long & rambly & from her og blog }#{ LOVE ME }#{ IT's SO LONG BUT IF YOU READ IT !! }#{ you're the real mvp & pls talk to me about nancy wheeler }#{ and write with her }#{ love us }#long post for ts

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theloststarboy · 2 years ago

Text

But Steve…he really prefers this.

The crew, they treat him like family. This was somthing he never had, even if at first, the place is grimy and horrible but…

Maybe it’s not too bad.

He quickly learns, after a quick conversation, that one of the crew mates, likes the same sex.

He learns that the crew is completely fine with this.

That was new.

He starts to learn that he didn’t entirely mind my sons flirting. Not really, he even found some of it…charming.

“C’mon pretty lad, stop washing up and I can go show you a good time in the captains quarters.” Eddie would call durning the first few weeks when Steve was utterly disgusted with how many mugs and bowls had piled up, or when the dirt in the corners that to one entirely bothered to get got to him.

Eventually, Steve starts to flirt (jokingly of course) back with Eddie.

“Or, you can join me and you’ll get a reward” he would wink back, shocked at how easily that came out of him after hearing all kinds of flirtatious remarks all week

Eddie is commonly found giving Steve his clothes only, instead of the pile of clothes they have below deck for one reason or another

One night, the crew is asleep, Eddie is up in the crows nest, Steve can’t sleep, thoughts had been plaguing his mind, about how he really liked it here. He knew his parents wouldent be able to get him back as he hadn’t seen them in years when he spots the gleam of Eddie’s compass, so carefully he climbs up, he had yet to be up there, so he’s wary

“Hey there princess” Eddie greets and Steve scoffs and laughs it off (it did not have any sort of effect of him whatsoever)

They end up talking and Steve’s parents were reveals as, well, not being there, Eddie ends up telling him that he dosent feel good enough not living up to the path his father gave him. But recently he had cared less due to a change of heart as of recent

They have there first kiss up there.

Eddie grins, places his own hat on Steve (just because it was rather nice seeing Steve in his own clothes) patting his cheek softly before heading on down (not without a ‘join me in bed if you’d like’ comment from him) leaving Steve up in the crowd nest

(Silently, the crew cheers because they had been making bets on who would make the first move and when would they end up together because they all had seen the interactions, these conversations are just short chapters in between the main plot

‘Captain gave the prince his coat today.’ One of them would mention, and another would chuckle ‘I’m giving it a whole fortnight before they get together’

‘Well, prince has been makin more moves…give it three days’ a third would chime in

They end up with a whole begging pool, and written down how long everyone thinks, no you can’t change it but you can add in more money. (It ends up being three whole weeks before they get together from the start of the bet))

Eventually Nancy and Robin find Eddie and Steve, Steve is great full to see his best freind, Eddie is so glad he has his best mate again

“So..you want to stay?” Nancy asked sitting down next to Steve in the canteen, where people were yet to show

“Yes. I know you came here to get me back but-“ Steve was quickly cut off

“Let’s do it. The lady pirate I came with, Robin, well…we may just be..” Nancy didn’t need to finish her sentence before Steve was grinning

“Oh that’s great, yes me and Eddie are too.”

The only thing the two could do is laugh T how I’m the world this happen.

(This is my first time writing anything pirate related ever bc I was never fond of it but…after seeing this I fell in love w it so- correct me if anything historically is wrong please!!!hey

The steddie pirate au has been plaguing my every thought for the past few days. Just imagine, Eddie kidnaps pretty prince Steve and leaves a ransom note for his filthy rich parents, unaware that Steve lives alone in that big house and his parents haven't contacted him for years.

The only person who is even aware Steve is missing is Nancy, who is his best friend. She enlists the help of Eddie's known associate and fellow pirate, Robin, who was being held in the prison. Robin only agrees to help bcs the sight of Nancy Wheeler pulling a gun out of her bodice was the hottest thing she has ever seen and it will be burned into the back of her eyes forever.

Fast forward a few weeks. Steve's ditched his ruined robes and he now wears an unbuttoned silk shirt tucked in to a pair of high waisted pants and an old pirate hat that one of Eddie's traitorous crew members gave to him. Eddie hates to admit it, but the prince looks absolutely gorgeous. The way he flits about the deck like he was born into this life amazes Eddie and the way his young crew flock around him and treat him as a friend makes him smile... and then scowl. He constantly reminds himself that Steve is supposed to be their ticket to an ungodly amount of riches, not their friend.

#pirate au #this ended up being longer than i meant it to #fruity four #stranger things #I just had to add to this #ronance #steddie

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 7 years ago

Note

A - Z (Fandom ‘Come At Me, Friend’ Meme)

WELL THEN *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO

(all 26 letters behind a cut bc this is very long)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

As of this hour, my top OTPs are Penelope/Schneider from ODAAT and Joyce/Hopper from Stranger Things. But I have endless numbers of them, even within each fandom.

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Jean/Alice from TDBM.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Um…hmm. I’m such a multishipper, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my NOTPs. I’ve never been onboard the Keens from The Blacklist, though. Not even a little. I only enjoyed Tom in his original villainous state.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

A couple of my spouse’s faves, I really wish I liked too, especially Sam/Josh and Mal/Simon. I don’t like one of the characters in each very much, so I’ve never been able to get into them–even though I understand them, and have had fun writing them…I just don’t love them too.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Yeah, mostly graphics, though. I don’t think I’ve ever written crackfic. I did New York Times Minus Content edits for TDBM, a ton of those. Also Sext Message Error sets for Lizzington and for Josh/Donna. And Welcome To Nightvale sets for iZombie and Lizzington. And OTP Bot sets for Lizzington.

And this isn’t EXACTLY crack, but my original tumblr claim to fame was this Hamilton/TWW crossover that got reblogged by Lin himself.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Mm, the first time I actively joined a fandom was Buffy, and I was about 14 when that started for me…so as of this year I’ll have been in that fandom for 20 years! But I’ve been a fangirl literally my whole life, I just didn’t really join fandoms before the internet, and I started using the internet more in junior high and HS.

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Lou/Joey from Brotherly Love, or Claire/Trevor from Cupid (original run), or Dharma and Greg, or Allison/Wade from CryBaby, or Idgie/Ruth from Fried Green Tomatoes. I was a shipping prodigy, and the couples I was obsessed with as a literal child blur together a bit in the timeline, so I’m not completely sure which came first.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

TV shows.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

The Aaron Tveit fandom made me uncomfortable watching BrainDead before I even had the chance to decide if I liked it or not. Most fandoms I love, though. I prefer to ignore the drama and focus on the people I actually like.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

SO MANY. Parks and Rec, TDBM, Stranger Things…a significant portion of my watchlist comes from this hellsite by now–I have friends with good taste.

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

@mossdonnatella is in a lot of my fandoms. She is a much better fic writer than she thinks she is!!

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

I really ended up disliking Jacob a lot, on Grace and Frankie. But I will say that in the beginning he is very respectful of Frankie’s boundaries and tries to be patient with her, and I did like that.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

I don’t actively ship Jancy on Stranger Things after seeing S1 (I don’t really ship Steve/Nancy either, though…I think I mostly just ship Nancy x happiness) but the moment when her mom knocks on her bedroom door and they reach for each others’ hands instinctively? That is a damn fine understated sweet connection moment and I really enjoyed and believed it.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Okay since a lot of my top fandoms are for shows that ended a long time ago, I’m going with One Day At A Time. In fic or in canon, I want to see a lot more of Schneider being Penelope’s BFF and her confidant. I want more serious!Schneider moments bc it turns out the actor rocks at them, and I want to see Pen really get to move on from Victor as her kids get older, I want real confirmation that she’s finally past any possibility of reconciliation with him bc she deserves SO MUCH BETTER.

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Randomizing my music gave me “Quiet” by MiLCK feat. GW Sirens and Capital Blend.

Sample lyrics:

Cuz no one knows me, no one ever willIf I don’t say something, take that dry blue pillThey may see a monster, they may run awayBut I have to do thisI can’t keep quiet, no A one woman riot

Despite the mature meaning behind the lyrics, and probably because I’m watching Stranger Things right now, it reminds me of Eleven, the tiny badass fighting her way to freedom.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Alright, I’m gonna invent one right off the top of my head right here and now since you asked. Um… a One Day At A Time AU in which Penelope meets Schneider not as her landlord but as a patient, once she becomes an NP. Doctor/patient “okay if you won’t stop asking me out then get a new doctor so I can say yes” fluff ensues.

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

Lizzington. I’m technically still writing fic for it bc I have a chapter fic to finish, but I haven’t watched the show in years, I avoid content for it, and have no interest in it anymore besides the phantom limb feeling of having been so invested in a ship for that long and making friends around it.

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Well, since I mentioned it earlier, I think I’m the only person ever to watch the scenes Bud and Brianna have together in Grace and Frankie and think “that should really be a thing.”

Also…Kate/Donna from The West Wing. Based entirely on one scene.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I genuinely don’t understand this question, sorry. What’s an ‘example’ of my headcanon, and how does that relate to prompts? If somebody wants to explain this to me, I’ll answer it.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

Yep yep yep. Andy was the leak, not Toby, and that is the hill I will die on always. I’m sure I have others, but that’s the big one.

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Toby Ziegler (TWW), Alice Harvey (TDBM), Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Jim Hopper (Stranger Things), and Spencer Hastings (from what I just saw of PLL with @actuallylukedanes).

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Luke/Lorelai, Gilmore Girls. Parker/Hardison/Eliot, Leverage. Joyce/Hopper, Stranger Things.

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Josh/Donna (TWW), Donna in control. Matthew/Alice (TDBM), hurt/comfort sex. Alvareider (ODAAT), “whoops are we kissing wait do we like each other?”Jared/Miss Parker (The Pretender), conflicted kisses up against wallsI’m having trouble thinking of a 5th one but I used to really like Lizzington angry!sex bc damn that ship was angsty

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Eleven, Toby Ziegler, Schneider, Lena Luthor, Logan Echolls, literally every main character on The Good Place.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Game of Thrones, Agents of Shield, Doctor Who (though I finally have started this one!), Jane the Virgin, The Worst Witch, and lots more…I like learning about fandoms secondhand.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every single one of these tiny Stranger Things children in S1 is the epitome of epic friendship and I love it. Mike jumps off a cliff to protect Dustin and Dustin’s willing to get his teeth cut out to protect Mike and Lucas offers a sincere apology when he’s wrong, something most adults still suck at, and Will tells Mike the truth even when he would benefit from lying and Eleven chooses death to save them all and they are beautiful and perfect and I love them.

#thanks for this it was sooo fun #stranger things #alvareider #grace and frankie #designatedmsec #replies

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pamphletstoinspire · 7 years ago

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Catholic Physics - Reflections of a Catholic Scientist - Part 27

Tipping the Sacred Cow of Science--Confessions of a Science Agnostic

Definition of "agnostic" (Oxford): "having a doubtful or noncommittal attitude toward something"

"Behind the tireless efforts of the investigator there lurks a stronger, more mysterious drive: it is existence and reality that one wishes to comprehend." Albert Einstein, Essays in Science.

"In support of realism there seem to be only those 'reasons of the heart' which, as Pascal says, reason does not know. Indeed, I have often felt that belief in realism involves a profound leap of faith, not at all dissimilar from the faith that animates deep religious convictions." Arthur Fine, The Shaky Game--Einstein, Realism and the Quantum Theory.

"The fundamental laws of physics do not describe true facts about reality. Rendered as descriptions of facts, they are false; amended to be true, they lose their explanatory force." Nancy Cartwright, How the Laws of Physics Lie

“When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray (as quoted by Bas van Fraassen in The Scientific Image)

"Science will tell us what things are real but will refuse to say what is reality." Professor Henry Margenau, The Nature of Physical Reality

"To answer the question 'To be or not to be?' we cannot turn to a science textbook." Fr. Stanley Jaki, The Limits of a Limitless Science.

When I was much younger (almost 70 years ago) I regarded what my professors in college and graduate school said as holy writ. When Julian Schwinger strode into class (usually a half-hour or more late--we'd make book on the delay time) and in beautifully articulated sentences told us about projection operators, Lagrangian formulations, S-matrices, we sat as disciples, not necessarily understanding, but faithfully recording the gospel of quantum mechanics. It was only until after I retired that I began to inquire into the philosophic foundations of science and learned that although quantum mechanics worked, it was a house built on epistemological and ontological sand.

Given this change of belief, why this post? I'd like to see those who justify science/Science as an all-compassing worldview, justify their faith and refute the arguments given by the "anti-realist" philosophers--those who deny the fundamental reality of scientific theories/laws/entities and claim that science is validated only empirically, by the truth or falsity of the predictions derived from scientific theories. For these "anti-realists" there are no scientific laws, and the reality of theoretical entities--quarks, gluons, etc--is problematic. Scientific theories do not, according to them, mirror reality, veiled or unveiled. Am I an anti-realist? Not entirely, or perhaps I'm not sure--that is to say, maybe I'm a Science (uppercase S) agnostic.

Now, I might have done with any further remarks and just used the quotations at the beginning, which summarize the various points of view on whether science connects to a "real" world. But the argument needs fleshing out, so let's discuss three works dealing with this question: Nancy Cartwright's How the Laws of Physics Lie, Bas van Fraassen's The Scientific Image, Fr. Stanley Jaki's The Limits of a Limitless Science.

Nancy Cartwright does not believe that fundamental, theoretical scientific equations are true (e.g. Maxwell's equations, the Schrodinger equation), although she does believe that theoretical entities are real (e.g. the electron, quarks), and that phenomenological equations (those empirically rather than theoretically derived), such as Poiseuille's Law of viscous flow, are true. Her reason for disbelief, supported by a number of examples, is generally stated in the quote above. The equations have to be amended, supplemented, supplied with empirical fudge factors, or require conflicting mathematical prescriptions in order to describe real situations. I won't go over all the examples (Snell's Law of refraction, Crooke's radiometer, quantum damping, the BCS theory of superconductivity) but only say they are well chosen and show that she knows mathematical physics. However, in an example I'll give below I'll try to show that these criticisms do not invalidate science as it is practiced.

Bas van Fraassen believes that a scientific theory can be judged to be true if it is empirically verified, and only by that test. Here I agree with him. He does not believe that theory corresponds to the real world, discoverable by science--that would be a metaphysical assumption, a truly bad thing for the empiricist philosopher. With this judgment, I might disagree. Van Fraassen also argues that theory can not be evaluated as a best explanation for phenomena. (The ether is one example of an incorrect but plausible explanation for that in which electromagnetic waves vibrate.) The function of theory is "to save the phenomena", i.e. to give a concise description of real phenomena that is empirically verified.

Like van Fraassen, Fr. Stanley Jaki considers only those scientific theories that are empirically validated to be true, but he adds a further restriction: science concerns itself only with that which can be quantified, i.e. measured numerically:"...wherever reality offers aspects with no quantitative properties to be measured, science is not applicable." (The Limits of a Limitless Science). Many would consider this requirement too restrictive; large areas of chemistry, biology, geology and other disciplines that are generally considered science would be out of the pale. I concur with Fr. Jaki's requirement in the following sense: it removes from the scientific domain disciplines that would like the prestige of a scientific cloak, but which do not require empirically verifiable, reproducible, quantifiable tests of hypotheses. I'm not sure whether Fr. Jaki is a scientific realist (it seems to be implied in the quote above), but as a follower of Pierre Duhem, it seems that he would require a metaphysical foundation for science:

"Now these two questions — Does there exist a material reality distinct from sensible appearances? and What is the nature of reality? — do not have their source in experimental method, ... Therefore, if the aim of physical theories is to explain experimental laws, theoretical physics is not an autonomous science; it is subordinate to metaphysics Pierre Duhem, The Aim and Structure of Physical Theory

Here is where I jump into the pool, considering first Nancy Cartwright's comparison of phenomenological versus theoretical laws. One of the first such phenomenological laws was Galileo's discovery of the periodicity of pendulums. Galileo timed the period of pendulum swings using his own pulse and found that the period, the repetition time of the swing, was independent of the mass of the pendulum bob. In first year physics courses the simple pendulum (idealized as a point mass at the end of a massless rod undergoing undamped small swings) is treated as a simple harmonic oscillator. In advanced physics classes the more realistic example of a physical pendulum is treated as a problem in rotational dynamics (still with undamped small swings) for harmonic oscillation. Going still further to large amplitude, damped motion chaos theory rears its terrible head and the motion follows many paths, showing Lorenz attractors and bifurcation diagrams.

The point is that the original phenomenological relation deduced by Galileo progresses to a much more complicated and sophisticated account of chaotic motion as the description becomes more realistic, but at each stage when simplifying factors are removed the physics is accounted for theoretically and can be verified empirically. Indeed there is a undergraduate physics laboratory dealing with this phenomenon. This progression from simple to complicated is, I maintain, a general situation in science and does not negate the validity of the theoretical foundation. When theory can not give a simple description (as in quantum mechanical computations of electronic energy levels for very large molecules), it is because the calculations are too complicated, not because the theory is wrong.

And when the calculations become too complicated, then simplified models--e.g. the random walk model for molecular diffusion, Lewis dot models for chemical bonds--are appropriate. But these are only models--simulacra as Cartwright would have it--not real.

The empiricist philosophers--Cartwright, van Fraassen, Fine--have much to say about quantum mechanics and its reality, but that's a subject that requires a post, nay a chapter, by itself. There are at least 17 different interpretations of quantum mechanics and to my knowledge only the Local Realistic (with hidden variables) has been falsified by experimental tests of Bell's Theorem. I'll just say that even scientist/philosophers who believe that science is a mirror of the real world are confounded by the puzzling, non-intuitive aspects of quantum mechanics--the delayed choice experiment, the Conway-Kochen Freewill Theorem. "No one understands quantum mechanics." Richard Feynman, Nobel Prize Winner for work in quantum electrodynamics;"The doctrine that the world is made up of objects whose existence is independent of human consciousness turns out to be in conflict with quantum mechanics and with facts established by experiment." Bernard d'Espagnat, Winner of the Templeton Prize.

Well, where do I stand? Looking at the history of science, one can see failed theories, theoretical entities disproved by experiment--phlogiston by Count Rumford's cannon-boring experiments, the ether by the Michelson-Morley experiment. Possibly theory is converging to the truth--the Higgs boson confirmed by the CMS experiments--but that convergence is an article of faith. Faith in science as a partial mirror of reality is one component of my faith that the world God created would be an orderly and intelligible world, not the "dappled world" of Nancy Cartwright, with one set of scientific laws here and another there--Bach, not Cage. I also believe with Fr. Jaki that science is limited in what it can explain: it can not explain itself, it can not answer the "why" questions (rather than the "how" questions), it can not explain our minds, our love, or our religious faith. So am I a Science agnostic? Probably not, but it is a catchy title.

Ed. Note 1:

Cow Tipping" is actually not a real activity, despite the widespread image of drunken youths pushing a poor bovine over on its side, but, as with "science agnostic", it makes a catchy title.

Ed. Note 2:

I am sorry that I cannot properly display all the various pictures or tables on the post. They will, however, be displayed on the pamphlet containing this post, and a link will be provided for your convenience.

From a series of articles written by: Bob Kurland - a Catholic Scientist

#catholic physics

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