#chapter 08 babes!

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Madara Golden Age : Chapter 8

the core of ninjutsu ~ Izuna POV

Previous chapters on A03

Izuna POV, Warring States Era fic, Uchiha-centric, graphic violence, mostly canon compliant, seinen style, madaracore

***

"Madara, here you are! I was waiting for you outside the compound!" I shout out while coming inside the main training building and joining him on top of the stands.

"I was on my way. I took some weapons from the storehouse and… I've been distracted," he holds firmly the grip of his sword hanging on his sash.

He's disgruntled. I can hear it by his forced sarcastic tone. I watch over the crowded ground. A hundred people are busy fighting an invisible opponent, repeating the same kata movements again and again until it is imprinted in their muscles. Others are stretching their body, or wrapping their hands and feet before boxing a bag of sand. Nothing out of the norm, but if I judge by Madara's body language, he's fuming...

Don't forget to like, comments, reblog and share if you like the story❤️. the author loves attentions and proofs of love. It makes the next chapters magically comes up quickly. It's proven by science. source : Trust me, bro.

read the whole chapter on A03

[hoonvrs]

CIGARETTES — s. jaeyun smau

PAIRING jake x fmr

SYNOPSIS where university student jake develops a little crush on the girl he sees with a cigarette between her lips in the smoking area and decides he needs to impress her. how else would he do that except calling his smoker friend to teach him how to smoke ( spoiler: it doesn’t go so well. )

GENRE smau, fluff, crack, sprinkle of angst if you read it upside down, golden retriever x black cat duo

FEATURING ( enha ) all, ( ive ) gaeul, yujin, ( nct ) chenle, jisung

WARNING smoking [ don’t smoke kids ], swearing, kys/kms/suicide jokes, friendly bullying, dirty/sex jokes ( more will be added if necessary)

STATUS completed

TAGLIST ( CLOSED )

S. NOTE JAKE MY MANNN ( hoon look away ) as an 02z girl i finally have an smau for each bias so i feel v complete

also please don't spam like as it shadowbans me and lessens engagement <3

PROFILES

virgin mary’s | smoking HAWT | privs

CHAPTERS

01 BI yourself

02 we found love in the smoking area

03 life is roblox

04 you white whore

05 jake you beautiful bastard

06 are we rush houring rn

07 it’s the dawg in me

08 yuh :3

09 the brit

10 what if i was suicidal .

11 here comes christian bale

12 i don’t trust him. weird fella

13 give us another sonnet english boy

14 bros from yapan

15 he thinks he’s a 90s babe

16 i’m just a girl

17 i’m sat.

18 go piss girl

↳ extra: did life360 tell you that.

19 i got my peaches out in jojo

20 okayy little miss poet

21 i’m built different

22 WAHHHHHHW WAAHHH

23 i want you

24 why are u bricked up

25 PUKA PUKA POW POW

26 jake in his flop era

27 this is getting too homoerotic

28 they go low i go lowER

29 inshallah he will eat

30 hello ross lynch

31 filthy omega

32 u r sobir. die (+written 0.8k)

33 she shoiodv be inde clubbb…..

34 when he makes you his girlfriend

35 can’t take me anywhere

36 noo you’re so sexy haha

37 no. (+written 0.7k)

38 i feel so kawaii today

39 come home fat

40 wasn’t very dabatayo of you jay.

↳ extra: it’s actually dattebayo*

41 ur man can’t drive manual

42 i Want you so bad

43 hawk putuh

44 okay blondie

45 though shalt not fail, but prevail

↳ extra: random

EP1 upset my girl. i’m gonna Kms

EP2 im not smoking that shit

EP3 OUR girlfriend ☭

copyright © hoonvrs 2023 all rights reserved

[solarhysm]

DUST OF US.

> synopsis: 7 years ago Y/N broke Jungkook’s heart when she decided to end their relationship without an explanation. When they meet again at a friend's wedding, after almost a decade, Jungkook needs answers to move on.

> pairing: Jungkook x reader

> genre: romance, ex to lovers au

> warnings: explicit languages, violence, smut, cheating, nsfw, angst

> statut: on going.

> chapters: 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

> drabbles:

how you met him

jungkook thinks you hate him

your first time

jungkook and you talk about your future

you’re being bullied (tw: mention of rape, but no rape!!) (available on kofi)

drunk jungkook called you (soon)

you’re jealous (soon)

mood playlist:

still with you by jungkook

angels like you by miley cyrus

reminder by the weeknd

nobody gets me by SZA

i love you, i’m sorry by gracie abrams

without me by halsey

moonlight by ariana grande

all I ask by adele

feel me by selena gomez

good luck, babe! by chappell roan

love in the dark by adele

shot glass of tears by jungkook (ofc)

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER (LINK) FOR UPDATES!!

*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!

NO TRANSLATION. MINORS DNI.

WATTPAD.

buy me a coffee<3 (every chapters/drabbles are posted as soon as i'm done writing them.)

[ohbueckers]

★ ━━━ HEART OF A WOMAN MASTERLIST.

note from author. NEW FICCCCC & ITS SPARKS P (and toxic...) also new layout i think i like the smaller text more? i figured tcptg will take me a bit because it’s more of a slowburn, so i wanted to have something more fun and less challenging to write for me while i continue that. i have more of a layout for this so i should be able to get parts out quicker but sometimes life gets in the way so no promises. i’ve gotten a few requests for something like this so hopefully i can incorporate all of you guys’ ideas! ennnnjoy.

description. paige and nailea “nai” have always been messy. since highschool, their relationship has been complicated by distance, other people, and paige’s habit of keeping nai at arm’s length. now, with paige in the wnba and nai carving her own path in la’s sports world, they’re back in each other’s lives, struggling to stay away despite knowing better. some ties are hard to break, even when they hurt.

includes. warnings incorporated before every chapter. specifically sexual content, language, toxicity, angst, cheating, substance use, drinking, etc…

playlist. heart of a woman, summer walker. / and this is just the intro, tory lanez. / drew a picasso, drake. / everything, kehlani. / come thru, drake. / blame game, kanye west. / hate sleeping alone, drake. / east liberty, partynextdoor. / still yours, bryson tiller. / freudian, daniel caesar. / player’s prayer, lloyd. / stretch you out, summer walker. / love me harder, ariana grande. / fumble, trey songz. / different pages, mariah the scientist. / love language, sza. / kitchen, kid cudi & more.

chapters. all parts linked here!

00. and this is just the intro.

01. old sparks.

02. if i call, you gon’ answer?

03. come through.

04. one in the same / blame game.

05. you better start thinking.

06. somebody else’s girl (mine first).

07. we could quit delaying.

08. pick your poison, babe.

09. let me go.

10. the reset button.

[puma-riki]

No One Noticed...

Synopsis: You've never seemed to make friends well. Sure, you had people you knew and were well acquainted with, but no one ever seemed to get closer to you or want to. You think that no one notices you and you'll continue the rest of your college years alone like all the years before. Except Ni-ki notices just about everything you do.

Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor (or attempts at), slight angst, smau + written parts, idiots to lovers, university au

Warnings: consistent cursing, kms/kys jokes [Subject to change every chapter]

Characters: Enhypen (all), Eunchae (lesserafim),Keeho, Soul, (P1Harmony)

Status: Ongoing (Start: 092124)

Taglist: @bee-the-loser @iaintseggsy @channieismylove @yangjungwonnie @luluvhs @nikiswifiee @kingofthekards @skepvids @sammie217 @sh0dor1 @sirens-dreams @starfallia @polarisjisung @minhosimthings @mochiwonz @jiiyen @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @ritzy-dream-boy @roseangelxfuma @sugarikiz @stvrriki @eczlipse @ddolleri @dangerousgardenchild @roarr-ki @rikidaze @rinoosformstellation @domfikeluva @b0os-jellfyfish @wensurr @melancholy-z @brinethebean @sol3chu @luvjichang @aerijns @bananna-12 @jungwonsjellies @sumzysworld @right-person-wrong-time @rikikiynikilcykiki @pjselee @maniluvzyou

Comment on any chapter from No One Noticed... saying you want to be added to the taglist!! or send me an ask !! | bold could not be tagged :c

Do Not Pay Attention To Timestamps!! | Images Used Are Meant To Be Used As References

------------------------------------------------------------

Profiles | [Gooners] [Children + Keeho]

01. Quick!! what's a characteristic of water!!

02. I STILL GOT THEM DIGITSS😋😋

03. Existential dread + written

04. HAPPY WEDNESDAY GUYS‼️‼️ + written

05. INCOMING RANT‼️‼️🗣🗣

06. THE VOICES

07. chat does she want me yes or no⁉️🙏

08. OPERATION RIKI[NAME]/P

09. No One Tried, No One But You + written (wc:5.7k)

10. The bum line

11. IM THE BEST ACTUALLY

12. I wasn't cut out for being a boy dad anyway

13. Feeling a disturbance in the force rn

14. I WANT MY DUO.

15. ...SURELY NOT

16. 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚… + written (wc:2.9k)

↳ Bonus : riki[name] out???

17. mama a wisp of essence behind you

18. May a man like Nishimura Riki find me in this life

19. LVL 10 BADDIE AT REGISTER

20. my coworker be losing her mind

21. eunchae my newest opp

22. banned for getting eaten up on the tl

23. Ooouuuu Turn It Awf

24. What The Hell

25. Jarvis, Jerk it a lil

26. Jarvis, What other guys is she talking to

27. Good Luck, Babe!

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

35.

+ more coming soon...!

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Rigor Mortis (Masterlist)

Rigor Mortis; or, how to live your life after a half-decade of decay. 

Relationships end. People die. You move on, and Miguel does too. 

(roommate! Miguel O'Hara x reader, college-ish au). 

(AO3) (Main Masterlist) (Wattpad)

Warnings: angst, smut, friends with benefits, mentions of depression, child death (not explicit), grief. 18+ Minors DNI (+ ageless blogs will be blocked)

Series' playlists:

this is what i listen to whilst I write

this is the kind of playlist I imagine RM!Miguel listens to

(i am very open to suggestions/additions :D)

00 rigor mortis,

01 or in the cold, crisp morn:

02 lady death, at the cradle of a babe.

03 they were here, she says,

04 lips blue and black and gold (18+)

05 and they were good. (18+)

06 in your half-hearted hubris, (18+)

07 all-consuming grief, (18+)

08 you had forgotten; they were good.

09 all that light lost in gaps (18+)

10 between your bodies; (18+)

11 cracks in clay, poured over,

12 tbd

13 tbd

14 tbd

15 tbd

16 tbd

17 tbd

18 tbd

19 tbd

20 tbd

Join my taglists here <3

Bonus chapters:

RM! Miguel headcanons (SFW) (NSFT)

A week of firsts (set between 06 and 07)

Bonus Miguel POV chapter

Quickie

massive thank you to my beta readers, who put up with all my stupid questions, helped me with translations, and gave wonderful feedback on where I could improve.

Thank you @tianyhi and @urgonnaneedabiggership (they also write Miguel fics, I highly recommend! my favourite is this series), I couldn't have done it without you guys!

[geeminz]

ᯓ A CHANGE OF HEART // smau — giselle x oc

synopsis !! mihye has been secretly dating giselle, her best friend’s older sister, for four months. what happens when their relationship turns toxic, and their secrets become public?

relationship !! toxic!giselle x f!reader oc (mihye)

featuring !! aespa, ive, le ssera, nct dream, riize

genre !! wlw smau, angst, hurt/comfort, smut (tws will be added)

schedule !! every saturday (hopefully)

an !! first ever tumblr au here! please be kind (｡･^ ･｡) i won't be posting the first few chapters here but i wanted to get this post up as soon as i could! will post the first chapter as soon as i'm done with my school stuff :))

p.s. !! i have a gforms you can fill out if you wanna be included in the taglist! it's right here !!

taglist !! @thefckghost @emphobics @jisooftme @xszn @gtfoiydlyj @wonysugar @bluhuir @baewonlove

started || n.a. ended || n.a.

profiles 📂 || mains ; yang-uchinaga household ; face cards

00. as long as it's you

01. cracks

02. stay

03. the exit

04. do something, babe

05. distance

06. timing

07. breakdown

08.

[smoochkooks]

—chapter twenty: this hope is treacherous

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, smut

word count: 2.4k words summary: it is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. but for a while, you did.

previous || next

Jungkook [Thursday, May 3rd, 05:32 pm]

How did it go? Soojin says everything’s fine between you

Want to grab bulgogi on Saturday? Same place as usual

Jungkook [Saturday, May 5th, 01:05 am]

Is everything alright? You haven’t been answering my texts

Jungkook [Saturday, may 5th, 03:45 pm]

Can I call you?

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th, 9:33 am]

Are you sick? Do you need something? I can drop by later today after work

I’m worried

Why are you not responding????

YN?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 06:15 pm]

Jungkook, sorry I have been MIA this past few days. I needed some time to think and I decided I want to keep some distance between us from now on.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:23 pm]

What are you talking about? I thought we were good.

Did Soojin say something to you?

You  [Wednesday, May 9th  06:25 pm]

No, nothing happened. Soojin accepted my apology and she decided to move on, as I think we all should.

It was solely my decision and I need you to respect it

One missed call from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:26 pm]

You won’t even answer my calls?

Come on YN, this is ridiculous

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  08:15 pm]

Fine. I’ll respect your decision. Can I at least talk to you in person about it?

Please

“You’ve been staring at your phone for the past ten minutes, babe. Jungkook’s not going jump out of it, you can calm down for a sec.” Dahyun says from her place on your couch.

It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays for Dahyun are reserved for self-care, which often means trying out new face mask recipes she saw on TikTok. And since, as she stated a long time ago, “You’re my bestest friend, ever, ___” you are obligated to take part in it as well. If you refuse to participate, you should gear up for the Cheong Dahyun’s wrath.

That’s why you’re currently soaking your feet in a mixture of soap, bathing oils and a secret ingredient Dahyun doesn’t want to disclose, with a hydrating sheet mask on your face.

You lock your phone and throw it to the other side of the couch. “I should probably just ignore him completely.”

Dahyun rips off her sheet mask in a way too dramatic manner and turns to look at you. “And let that she-devil win? Fuck, no!” she blurts out.

You snort. “She-devil?”

“I would call her the b-word but I’m trying to cut down on derogatory terms when referring to women, even those who deserve to be called that,” she explains, massaging her neck with the sheet mask’s oily residue. “Anyway, I think you should tell Jungkook the truth. She’s manipulating both you and him!”

“If a say a word to Jungkook, she’s going to write a post on her social media and not only expose me, but also accuse of having an affair with him.” you reason.

“Just tell Jungkook she’s threatening you. He’s going to see right-through her bullshit, leave her alone and be with you,” Dahyun shrugs like your predicament isn’t complex at all, and motions for you to take your feet out of the water. She tosses you a white towel and hands an opaque container. “Now put that onto your feet. Girls on TikTok are saying they will feel like heaven. And smell like lavender too!”

You scoop the cream onto your nail and sigh. “It’s not that easy. She is his wife and he loves her, of course he will take her side. He might not even believe me,” you say. Your eyebrows involuntarily rise, inhaling the cream’s scent. “It does smell like lavender.”

Dahyun makes ‘I told you so’ face before replying, “You’ve got twenty years of friendship on her.”

 “And unrequited crush, and a whole book about it.” you point out.

“I forgot how complicated your life has become these days,” Dahyun says, shaking her head. “So what? You’re just going to give up? Ignore his messages, calls, don’t answer the door when he’s on the other side, hide in the bush when you’ll  randomly see him on the street and only contact him once a year for his birthday?” she asks.

Initially, your plan was to wait a few weeks after your confrontation with Soojin and eventually things would get back to normal, slowly and steadily. You’re used to being on stand-by, after all. But that was before you actually met up with her to talk. Before she’s threatened to reveal your biggest secret to the whole world. Variété would never grant you another book deal after such scandal. You would be ruined for good and blacklisted by every single publishing company in this country. You can’t risk your career like that. Not now, not when you’re already working on your new book and this time you decided to release it under your real name.

You think about your parents. What would they think about their daughter? Surely they would feel disappointed. Lastly, you think about Jungkook. If you let Soojin get away with her threats, you might lose Jungkook for good. And that would slowly kill you.

“Okay, fine. I will try to talk to him about it.” you finally decide.

Dahyun claps her hands. “I knew it! Gosh, You’re down bad for this man, aren’t you?” she asks, grinning.

“Stop teasing me or I’m going to cancel our next self-care Wednesday.”

She gasps. “You wouldn’t. I have gua-sha massages planned for that day.”

“Try me!”

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:08 pm]

Okay. We can talk in person

Jungkook  [Wednesday, May 9th 11:09 pm]

I’m visiting Busan this weekend. Soojin has a business trip so I’ll be alone

Would you like to go with me?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:12 pm]

Busan is fine by me. I missed my parents

I will take the train though.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th 11:13 pm]

See you there

“There she is! My lovely daughter!”

It’s the first thing you hear after getting off the train at the railway station in Busan. Your mum hugs you tight and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Your dad couldn’t leave work earlier today so I’m picking you up instead,” She puts her hands on your shoulders and eyes you carefully. The smile she was wearing just seconds ago leaves her face. “I can tell you haven’t been eating well! What have I told you? You need to eat or you won’t have any energy!”

There it is. The world could be on fire and your mom would still worry about you not eating enough. Twenty-something years have gone by, and she’s still relentlessly reminding you to do so.

You roll your eyes, as you always do. “What did you make for dinner, then?” you ask, opening the car’s trunk and putting your bag there.

Your mom’s mood instantly lights up. “Chicken soup and jajangmyeon, your favorite,” she answers and starts the engine. “By the way, Jungkookie is also at his parents’, he arrived yesterday. Why haven’t you come with him?”

“I had a meeting at the publishing company that I couldn’t postpone,” you lie. “I’m meeting him later today, though.”

“I can’t believe my daughter is going to be a published author so-hey, you idiot! Who gave you a driving license?!” she yells. The young driver raises his hand in apology and your mom huffs. “It’s always the young ones! Anyway, do you know that Jungkook never visits his parents with that wife of his? I’ve only seen her once, during their engagement party for the whole family. You know which one, they did a big barbecue in the backyard. She seemed nice then, but a bit too standoffish, don’t you think? She comes from money, right?”

“Yeah, her parents own a company in Seoul that distributes vegetables and fruits all over the country. They also export, I think.” you reply, staring at the busy streets of Busan. You would probably rather talk about sex with your mom than discuss Jungkook’s marriage life, but your mom is a busy-body and loves gossip too much to let that slide.

To say the last, Soojin’s father is a big name in the industry. Jungkook told you once that he had to attend a dinner with Soojin and her parents, hosted by the minister of agriculture. You remember how much Jungkook worried he might not fit in the family. Soojin grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, attending private schools and going on vacations overseas. The summer after they officially had started dating, Jungkook worked two jobs so he could afford to go to Thailand with her. What was a standard for Soojin, was a hard-earned commodity for Jungkook.

Your mom whistles. “No wonder she doesn’t like coming here to Busan. Too posh for that, ha! And especially now, with two extra people in the house. Oh, ___, they are such cute babies! Everyone is head over heels for them.” she says, beaming.

You smile to yourself. Junghyun, Jungkook’s older brother, got married four years before him to his high school sweetheart and few months ago she got birth to twins. Knowing Jungkook, he’s probably spoiling them with presents every time he visits.

And speaking of the devil, you notice his car immediately as your mom pulls up to your driveway. With a heavy sigh, you brace yourself for what’s to come.

Four years ago, Junghyun’s wedding party

“So, my dear brother, when am I going to dance at your wedding?”

Junghyun was clearly drunk, his speech slurred as he wrapped his hands around Jungkook’s shoulders and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. You giggled, positively buzzed yourself.

“I’m twenty-one and I just got back from the military. Let me live a little.” Jungkook grumbled and shoved his older brother away.

Really, it had been a little over two months now. His hair had grown into a nice length, the buzzcut long gone. He had gotten more buff, his dress shirt holding for dear life in some places. He’s matured, no longer a nineteen-year-old who had just finished high school but a grown adult.

Truth to be told, you missed him terribly.

Junghyun sat next to Jungkook, opened yet another soju bottle and poured a shot for each one of you. “To my beautiful wife Mina. I love you, honey!” he shouted and downed the alcohol. You could see Mina from across the room shaking her head with a soft smile playing on her lips. You grew up watching them fall for each other more and more with every passing day. If soulmates existed, Mina and Junghyun were definitely destined to be together.

“What about that birdie you’re dating now, huh? Sodam or something? Huh?” Junghyun asked, poking Jungkook in the ribs teasingly.

Jungkook’s already flushed cheeks, reddened ever more. “Her name’s Soojin and we are not dating. We went on one date,” he said sternly. “Besides, she’s out of my league. Her parents are super rich. Do you know she’s been to Paris this summer? She probably doesn’t know how cup noodles taste like!”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing, then.” Junghyun shrugged his shoulders. He poured himself another shot of soju and looked at you, then at his younger brother, his face weirdly serious all of a sudden. “You know what I think?” he asked.

“I haven’t gained the ability to read your thoughts yet, hyung.”

Junghyun smacked Jungkook’s head. “Aish, who taught you to speak like that to your hyung?” You knew that, from the way Jungkook was biting his lips to refrain from laughing, that he wanted so badly to answer: “You did!”, but he decided to let Junghyun continue his drunken monologue. “I think that you and ___ will end up together one day.”

You tried to conceal your surprised expression with a chuckle. “Me and Jungkook? Please, I wouldn’t stand his ass.”

“Hey!”

Junghyun shook his head. “I’m serious. Best relationships, the ones that last years and years, are made out of friendship. Your partner should be your best friend! Look at our parents! Look at me and Mina! We’ve been friends throughout the whole middle school, tiptoeing around each other before one us decided to finally make a move. And now we’re married.” he said, his gaze longingly fixated on his wife. You dared to glance at Jungkook, thinking you’d find him amused by his brother’s drunken speech, but he was looking at Junghyun, not a hint of smile on his lips. “I think that it might take you a while to get there but eventually, I’ll dance at your wedding. And I’ll be really, really happy to do so.”

It is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. But for a while, you did. You replayed that moment over and over again in your head. You thought about Jungkook, his stoic expression while listening to his older brother. How he did not protest. How maybe, he could too imagine that happening. But then he went on another date with Soojin, and another. Started working extra hours to afford her lifestyle. Years gone by, and for some unknown reason, you still hold that memory close to your broken heart. 

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

TAKE CARE OF YOU [8B]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 11,971

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: it's here, holy moly. I'm glad I split it up otherwise this would've been a 23k word chapter 😂 love all of you for reading though and double love the beautiful souls who leave me words of kindness!]

Chapter Specific Warning: masturbation (F), reader is a thirsty bitch (which like is totally fair considering Joel Miller is 🥵), fluff and my usual attempt at humor, angst (but like the 'please trust me as the writer babes' kind)

08: YOU'RE JOEL MILLER'S SUGAR BABY!

"in the mess of feelings, focus on what is important, what brings peace to your soul, and let all the rest go." -all is not lost

The room was sweltering. You were damp with sweat. It’s the first thing you notice when you slowly begin to awaken. The second thing you notice is the strong arm resting around your waist and the firm chest at your back. Your groggy sleep heavy mind reminds you that Joel and you had gone to bed not too long after you iced his hand for him. Granted, being tangled in his limbs was a new thing.

You took a deep breath and settled against him. Everything about this moment screamed comfort. The soft morning sunlight streaming through the window, the warmth radiating from Joel’s embrace, his soft breaths fanning against the back of your neck. You could spend eternity in his arms.

Your squirming hadn’t woken Joel, but his sleeping form shifted to match yours. Any leftover drowsiness you had vanished when you felt something firm press against your ass. It took you a beat to recognize what was pressing into you because there was no way it was what you thought it was. Joel gave off ‘big dick’ energy without a doubt, but this was significant enough that you had to be mistaken. You squirmed once more and Joel’s arm tightened around you, pulling you in closer, and there was no mistaking it now. The hard bulge pushing perfectly against you was his cock. Holy fuck. When Joel had said he was a ‘big man’ yesterday you thought it just meant his broad shoulders.

Joel let out a soft sigh, a content mumble, and in a panic you let your body go limp and closed your eyes once more. Seconds later, you felt Joel stiffen behind you⏤ sucking in a sharp breath through his nose. You kept your own breathing even and smooth as Joel stayed completely still. Finally, he slowly pulled his hips back, trying not to shift the mattress, and untangled his arm from you. You rolled over and continued to feign sleep. 

“Jesus Christ.” Joel mumbled softly. You heard his soft steps padding across the room behind you, and you didn’t move until the bathroom door shut. 

You rolled onto your back then and lifted your hands to cover your face. 

Idiot, idiot, idiot. You chastised yourself. There was an ache in your core that you only had yourself to blame for. All these missed opportunities. You went to bed last night without kissing Joel. You woke up this morning and pretended to still be sleeping when Joel’s dick was literally pressed against your ass. The sound of the shower kicked on and your mind involuntarily conjured an image of Joel under a spray of hot water. The urge to slip your hand under your waistband and touch yourself was growing more and more overwhelming by the second. 

After a glance to the door, your need shoved common sense to the back of your brain, trampling over it to get in control, and your hand slipped into your pants. This had to be fast and the absolute dripping desire you found told you that wouldn’t be tough to manage. You dragged your middle and ring finger up your wet lips to the apex where you let it curl around your clit in circular motions a few times. Your breath hitched and you pushed your fingers back down through your wetness to sink into yourself. With the memory of his cock pressed against you and his hot breath on your neck, you were already dangerously close to snapping. The pace you found with yourself was fast rather than the languid way you usually would pleasure yourself, and you let the heel of your palm grind against your clit. It was startling how quick and hard you came at your own hand with the image of Joel’s broad shoulders and rough hands in the forefront of your mind. The beginnings of a cry accidentally slipped from your lips and you bit down on the inside of your cheek to shut yourself up. Your hand lingered against yourself as you caught your breath and let the waves of pleasure ebb and flow over you. 

The shower squeaked off and you sat up breathless, hand yanked out of your shorts. You could hear Joel moving around the bathroom and you struggled to calm your racing heart. As you shifted in place, trying to piece yourself back together, the feel of your now soaked panties was made more apparent and the back of your neck burned with a new warmth. You sent a silent prayer up to whatever deity may be listening that there wouldn’t be a noticeable damp spot on your sleep shorts when you stood.

  Much sooner than you thought, the bathroom door opened and your spine stiffened to sit straight up with your hands resting in your lap. Joel stepped out, hair damp and slicked back, with a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes landed on yours and widened, “Hey. Hey.” Joel cleared his throat and his hand fell to readjust the towel on his waist. “You’re awake.”

“Mhmm.” You hummed with a tight lipped smile. Joel stood in the doorway like a deer in the headlights and you felt a weird awkward tension. There was no way Joel heard you. Not over the sound of the shower. Plus, you were mostly quiet. The tension must be coming from somewhere else. You pointed your hand out toward him with a nod, “So, I didn’t kick you last night, right?”

Joel’s face cracked into an amused smile and he chuckled, “Not a bit. I’m impressed.” Joel came further into the room and nodded back toward the bathroom. “You need it? I can change out here.”

“Yes. Yes, please.” You slid out of the bed and tugged the edge of your shirt down a bit⏤ not that it helped in covering your shorts. Joel’s eyes trailed up your legs to meet your gaze and you tried not to feel self conscious in your morning state. Between the bed head and the state of your underwear, you felt like a spotlight was shining down on you. 

Without pausing, you made a beeline to the bathroom. Before you got too far past Joel he caught you by the elbow and pulled you a bit closer. Your face burned warm under Joel’s stare. It was soft and warm, but underneath that was a hunger in his eyes that you were positive would remain burned into your memory forever⏤ haunting every dream you had of him. The corner of Joel’s lips twitched up. “I gotta say it proper.” He pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger and traced the bottom curve of your lip. “Good mornin', sugar.”

“Uh, yeah.” You mumbled in a daze. Joel raised an eyebrow at you skeptically, and you shook your head with a small laugh. “I mean, good morning, daddy.”

“Good girl.” Joel approved. As if you hadn’t just touched yourself at the thought of him, you felt a new ache between your legs demanding attention. He tapped his fingers under your chin once and pulled away. “Go on. I wanna spend as much time with ya as I can 'fore I’m dragged away for work.”

You smirked and scrounged up every ounce of bold bravery you had in your body to reach out and set a hand on his bare chest. Joel sucked in a sharp breath and the look of hunger burned so hot you could’ve sworn you literally felt the heat on your skin. “You could always play hooky with me.”

“As temptin' as that is,” Joel cleared his throat and rested his hand on top of yours, allowing his thumb to rub against the back of your hand, “Tess'd literally castrate me if I skipped anythin' today.”

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” You teased before you even considered the words. Joel raised his eyebrows with a slight tilt of his head and your eyes widened at your own words. “I, uh, I mean,” You used your other hand to point to the suitcase, “I should… I need to get ready so we can… yupp.”

Joel squeezed your hand then lifted it up off your chest to press a soft kiss against the palm of your hand. At the simple touch, your entire body relaxed and you thanked that same deity you prayed to moments before that the hand you settled on his chest hadn't been the one you pleasured yourself with.

A part of you wondered if you were going to melt into a puddle right here and now. He nodded his head toward the bathroom with a small smile and let go of your hand. Your first step away from him was more or less a stumble. Joel chuckled and you scrambled to grab a swimsuit and cover from the suitcase before rushing away to compose yourself behind closed doors and out of view of those tempting, hungry eyes.

When you stepped out of the bathroom twenty or so minutes later, dressed for a casual day by the pool, you were met with quite the sight. Joel was in the process of putting on his watch, but his outfit was what caught your eye. Joel was going golfing apparently. He had on a pair of khaki slacks with an olive collared, short sleeve shirt tucked into it. The shirt was just tight enough to stretch across his broad shoulders and the sleeves clung tightly to his thick arms. A pair of sunglasses were hanging from his open collar.

“Hello, Tiger Woods.” You said appreciatively. 

Joel glanced over briefly before doing a double take. His own eyes traced slowly down your form before confidently meeting your eyes once more. He chuckled, “Tiger Woods?”

“It’s the only golfer I know off the top of my head.” You replied and closed the space so you could reach out and run a hand down his arm. Joel’s eyes followed your hands' movements. “I like this look on you. Very preppy.” Joel’s gaze snapped to yours and he raised an eyebrow in question. You grinned impishly, “Golf Daddy.”

Joel laughed in amusement and shook his head. You looked around him to see his wallet was resting on the dresser by a black baseball cap. You frowned, “Are you gonna wear a hat?”

“Was gonna. Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen you in a hat before.” You shrugged. It just seemed a damn shame to hide Joel’s fluffy hair. Every time you saw him, you craved to drag your fingers through it. Not even in lust either. You just wanted to play with his wild slightly curled locks that seemed to have a mind of their own regardless of how Joel tried to shape it. Not to say you weren’t thirsty for this man. You also wanted to tug on his hair as he buried his tongue between your legs. The sudden and intrusive thought had a pang of desire cut through you. Jesus, at this rate you’d have to throw yourself into the pool head first just to cool off a bit. “Lemme see.”

Joel appeased your request and picked up the hat with an over exaggerated sigh⏤ as if you were asking him to carry the world. He pulled the cap on and tilted his head at you in question. Still doing whatever they seemed to want, his hair stuck out around the edges of the hat in half curls that you wanted to twist around your finger. “Well, sugar?”

“Okay. I guess I approve.” You grinned.

“Glad to hear it.” Joel reached out and set a hand on your waist to tug you a bit closer. “Ya know, I got a stetson at home. Does that meet your criteria or do I gotta get rid of it?”

You recognized the word and your eyes widened at the thought of Joel wearing an actual cowboy hat, “No, you don’t. You’re joking.”

“I’m from Texas.” He countered.

It was pathetic and sad the lengths you would go to see Joel Miller in a cowboy hat. The thought of Joel Miller in nothing but the cowboy hat flickered through your thoughts and you took in a slow breath. Fuck. Never mind throwing yourself in head first, you’d have to drown yourself in the pool to get these thoughts out of there. You cleared your throat, “I will allow it.”

“Really? Don't even gotta try it on for you or nothin'?” 

“Well,” You shrugged, “I wouldn’t be opposed to a… a viewing.”

Joel chuckled and tapped his hand against your waist a couple times before grabbing his wallet and sticking it in his back pocket. He motioned for you to follow him. “C'mon.” You grabbed your phone and hurried after him. “You’re usin' up all our breakfast time droolin' over me.”

“I am not drooling over you!” You gave him a light push.

“Don’t worry.” Joel paused as you both neared the door and before you knew it his arm was wrapped around your waist to tug you into his side. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “You got me all hot an' bothered too, sugar.”

Flustered and giddy, Joel whisked you away for breakfast.

The two of you ended up at the same little cafe as yesterday, but this time they were serving breakfast dishes rather than the more broad brunch option. Joel had apologized profusely for taking you to the same place since he didn’t have time to take you out of the resort to eat somewhere else. You found the whole situation hilarious because never in a million years would you have even thought to complain or be bothered by it. Hell, you didn't pay it a single thought until Joel brought it up.

“Can I ask for a favor?” Joel suddenly asked as the two of you left the cafe. Your eyes widened to a degree that you were sure was comical. All the time you spent with him, and he never asked you for a favor of any kind. Joel never requested anything. You were actually happy to hear him ask because you wanted to give him more. 

“Anything, Joel.”

Joel chuckled but quickly cleared his throat. There was a look of anxiety written across his features, but when he spoke his voice still stayed strong and firm. “Stay in the Wynn today.” Despite broaching the topic as ‘asking for a favor’ there was a finality to his word that left no room for argument. “I’ll walk ya to the Wynn pool, I reserved a cabana there for you too, an' when you’re done just stay on campus.”

It wouldn’t be a difficulty. It wasn’t like you were being restricted to Guantanamo Bay⏤ this was the Wynn Resort in Vegas. There would be plenty to keep you occupied. You hesitated to respond to him though simply because you couldn’t puzzle out Joel’s expression. It wasn’t a difficult request, and yet Joel still had that nervous energy burning in his dark eyes. Almost as if he expected you to rebel against his request.

“Can I ask why?” Literally, there was nothing out of this building that interested you exploring as a solo errand, you came for Joel, but you were curious nonetheless.

“I hate the idea of leavin' you all alone.” Joel sighed. He readjusted the baseball cap on his head with a frown. “I really did try an' get outta this golf game, but Tess wouldn’ bite. Even Tommy was bitchin’ 'bout it.” He grumbled the last words with a tinge of annoyance.

You shook your head with a laugh and touched his arm. “Joel, it’s fine. I’m a big girl. I can find something to occupy my time until later today.”

“I know, but I brought you here to show you a good time, sugar.”

“You’re working. This is your job.” You tried to reassure him. Joel didn’t seem appeased, but he squeezed your hand and pulled you through the lobby. You leaned into his side with a smirk. “Besides, if you don’t go to work, how are you going to be able to afford to take care of me?” Joel’s face stretched out into a wide smile. His dimple was ever present and you couldn’t help but lift your free hand to poke him lightly in the cheek right over it making him chuckle. “I’m a needy girl.”

“You’re somethin' alright.”

“Something good?”

Joel rolled his eyes at your teasing smile and brought your hand up to kiss the back of it. “Somethin' absolutely incredible.” 

Your cheeks warmed pleasantly at his words. Joel was so charming and forthcoming with his compliments, yet every single time he spoke your heart would flutter. You never tired of his words of praise, and it was probably because they were always said with so much sincerity and warmth.

Joel was walking you to the pool, you knew that, but you were surprised when he walked out of the building with you and into the pool area. He scooped up a couple towels when you passed the stand and then he led you to a cute, little cabana. It was close to the water so you wouldn’t have to travel far, but it looked like it sat on a more secluded side of the pool.

“Tonight, we have the work dinner, but afterwards we can go out.” Joel reassured in a firm tone. He had already told you about the dinner. It’d be a collection of other heads of companies and Joel warned you it would be dry and boring. “I promise.”

“I’m looking forward to dinner tonight.” You said and it wasn’t even a lie. He gave you a dry look. You shook your head and cupped his hand with both of yours to squeeze his. “I am!” You shrugged a bit in mild embarrassment as you admitted the truth. “I always look forward to spending time with you, Joel. No matter what we end up doing.”

Joel’s gaze softened, and you pressed your lips together and shrugged again not knowing what else to do. He chuckled and leaned forward until his lips found the skin right under your hairline. Joel lingered there and your eyes fluttered close as you took in a deep breath of him. The second he pulled away you were already missing his touch. 

“I got my phone on me. You need anythin' at all, sugar, I’m one call away.”

You nodded and Joel lingered for a moment longer before making his leave. As you sat down on the chair outside the cabana, the towels he grabbed in your lap, you watched him go⏤ eyes raking up and down his frame unabashedly. When Joel reached the doors that would take him out of sight, he surprised you by turning around to give you one more glance. His gaze met yours and you spotted his smirk at the realization that you had been watching him go. You couldn't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Joel winked before slipping away and you flopped back onto the chair with a soft sigh.

God, you had it bad for that man.

You had come to Vegas for Joel, but you had to admit it was kind of nice to have some alone time. It had been a long time since you had sat by a pool and just soaked in the sun. Maybe a year ago now? Nathan and you had taken a trip to the beach one weekend. It wasn’t a bad trip. Hell, it was possibly one of the last times you were really happy with him. But, it was a far cry from where you were now. Sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the shallow end of the pool with a book in one hand and a drink in the other⏤ not a care in the world. That was the difference. Unlike the last time you sat by a pool, you weren’t thinking about work or rent or bills. You just enjoyed yourself.

“Hi, is this seat taken?”

You looked up from your book to see a woman pointing to the chair next to you. She was gorgeous with a white one piece that complimented her curves and her light brown skin tone. The woman wore a large sun hat with her black hair tied off in two braids. 

“Oh, no. Go ahead⏤”

“Oh my god!” She chirped suddenly and you jumped in surprise at the squeal. She settled on the lounge chair but sat on the side of it so she could face you. “You’re that woman!”

You nodded blankly, “I am a woman, yes.”

She laughed and waved her hand. “My bad. Guess I should’ve been more clear. You’re Joel Miller’s sugar baby!” Your eyes widened and you just stared at her in shock. She paused in thought then snapped her fingers and said your name. This time your jaw dropped as the shock doubled. “You are her, right?”

“That…is me.” You replied slowly. You set your book and drink down on the side table and turned on the chair with a shake of your head. “I’m sorry. Who are you?”

“I go by Yo-yo.”

You pressed your lips together and glanced back at your drink. You only had the one pina colada so far, but it sure as hell felt you were wasted. What was going on? While you tried to puzzle out if you were having a stroke or not, Yo-yo settled in her chair and pulled a bit of sunscreen out of the bag she had set on her own side table.

“Yo-yo?” You questioned skeptically.

She glanced your way and rolled her eyes, “It’s a ridiculous name, right? I wasn’t about to use my real name. Plus, my sugar daddy liked it. You do what you gotta to get that bank.” She winked at you. “Am I right, or am I right?”

“I have so many questions.” You mumbled.

“Hm?”

“How do you know my name?”

“You're with Joel Miller. It's always a big deal. I mean, handsome bachelor, filthy rich, and that sexy accent and voice? Ugh.” Yo-yo groaned. “I am so jealous. My daddy is CEO of Simmons Construction. Very rich, but he’s 62 and it shows.” She finished rubbing sunscreen on her front and held the bottle out towards you with a sheepish smile. “Can I bother you with getting my back?”

You took the sunscreen and stood to rub it into her back like she asked. While doing so, you asked, “I know there’s this supposed ‘sugar baby’ network, but I’m not seriously this infamous am I? For you to know my name?”

“Normally, no.” You finished her back and she turned back around. You handed her the bottle. “But, not only did you nab the sexiest Texan to ever exist, but you also pissed off Rosalind Turby.” She laughed and you winced. Yo-yo shook her hand at you. “No, no! I’m not criticizing. I’m honestly impressed. Rosalind is such a cunt.”

Your eyes widened. “That woman is becoming a bigger part of my life than I thought she would.”

“Oh, if you stay in this game, baby, she’s your new god.”

“She’s that important?”

“Rosalind is Queen Sugar Baby.” Yo-yo rolled her eyes and pulled on a pair of sunglasses. “She’s been running this game for ages, and she’s very serious about her girls being the perfect ‘baby’. And if you’re not then she makes your life hell.”

You scoffed, “So, I pissed her off by not being a ‘perfect’ sugar baby?”

“No,” Yo-yo held up a finger to you, “You pissed her off because you took what she wanted.”

“Joel?” You cried. The woman had come to your bakery for her shot of him, yes, but you didn’t think she’d hate you enough to make you infamous around the community. ��Seriously?”

Yo-yo pulled her glasses down the bridge of your nose to shoot you a wide grin and wink, “Can you blame her? God, Joel Miller has a face that was made to be ridden.” The weather was close to 100 degrees, you were cooking, yet still her words brought a whole new level of heat to your face. She pulled her sunglasses back up and moaned. “Girl, you have to tell me how good he is. There is not way he's anything less than fucking fantastic.”

The memory of his devastatingly large cock pressed firmly against your ass this morning made your breath hitch. Yo-yo continued to stare at you, as if waiting for you to elaborate on the dick you had yet to see, and you steered the conversation away. “So, do I need to worry about Rosalind showing up at my house with a meat cleaver?”

Yo-yo laughed, “Don’t worry about it. You’re not the only one on her shit list. She hates me too, and I’m not dead yet.”

“You too?” You asked. “Did you steal Simmons’ CEO from her?”

“Ugh, nobody wants that man. He’s basically satan. I’m doing the world a favor by keeping him away from other women.” She laughed. “No, no, she hates me because I technically ‘scam’ my daddies. Fucking ridiculous if you ask me.” She put the word in air quotations. “But, why shouldn’t I trick them? You can’t trust these men. They’re all just old pervs looking to wet their dicks.”

“Not all of them.” You said firmly. That wasn’t Joel. Yes, he was technically a sugar daddy, but that wasn’t what your relationship with him was. 

Yo-yo held her hands up in mock surrender. She sat up and threw her legs over the side to face you once more. “Listen, you gotta look out for yourself. It’s easy to get lost in the relationship, especially if you’re actually attracted to the guy, but after a few daddies you realize they’re using you. So, why not use them? For example, Simmons buys me a lot of really nice things, but I don’t keep it all.” She smirked. “I sell it on the side. It’s barely even a scam considering he’s buying the stuff for me to have. That means I can do whatever I want with it. Daddies don’t like the idea of a baby saving up money for themselves though and Rosalind has a stick up her ass about it. But, hey, I got a nice little nest egg saved up for when Simmons decides 25 is too old for him and wants a younger girl.” She shrugged. “You should consider it. Purses and dresses and jewelry are all nice, but they won’t last.”

You twisted your lips at her words. Honestly, you thought what she was doing was smart. The situations between you were different though. Right? Joel cared about you. He wanted to take care of you. A sinking feeling filled your belly. Yo-yo suggested planning for the future, and realistically speaking… Did you even have a future with Joel? You were planning on initiating something, giving into the temptation that was Joel, but where would something like this go? You felt like there was real chemistry between the two of you, but that hardly meant he wanted you around forever.

“How…” You shook your head and hoped the negative thoughts would loosen and fall away. There was another question you had for her. “How were you so sure I was Joel’s sugar baby. He could've brought anyone with him.”

Yo-yo waved over a waitress. “Easy. We’re in Vegas for the same reason. To be shown off.” You furrowed your brow and she shot you a curious look. “You’re coming to the dinner tonight, right? With all the contracting bigwigs?”

“I…am.” You nodded.

“Good. I know the other two sugar babies that’ll be there and they take this ‘getting shown off by their daddy’ thing so seriously. It’ll be nice to have someone normal to talk to.” Yo-yo replied as the waitress reached you. “Yes, I’ll take a mai tai. You want anything? It’s on my daddy.” She smirked and wiggled a gold credit card in her hand. 

“Sure, I’ll… take the same.”

Yo-yo continued speaking to the waitress and you settled back in your lounge chair. You and Joel were different. He didn’t bring you to Vegas to show you off. He brought you here to spend time with you. Granted, there was no reason he couldn’t do both. You shook your head. No, Joel’s intentions were pure. He took care of you, defended you, and he never once pressured you into anything you were uncomfortable with. Joel had given you no reason to doubt him. 

“Joel didn’t bring me to show me off.” You said firmly once the waitress left. You wanted to defend him. Joel wasn’t like the guy she was with right now.

Yo-yo frowned and waved her hand at you. “I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to upset you, I swear. I don’t even know the man and obviously you do. Maybe he is the unicorn of sugar daddies. Caring and kind and genuine. Hell, I hope he is.”

“What we have is…” You almost said the word ‘real’, but you worried Yo-yo really would think you were just some doe-eyed, naive fool. “It’s different. I’ve never done this before, and neither has he, so we’re learning together. Just having fun and… What?” You noticed Yo-yo was giving you a look that could only be described as pity. “What? What is it?”

“Joel Miller has had a sugar baby before.”

You felt a chill run down your spine as you stared at her in dumbstruck shock. One of the things that put you at ease about this relationship was the fact that he was just as new to this as you were. The two of you sat in an awkward silence as the world continued on around you. 

“Did he tell you that you were his first?” Yo-yo asked.

“No. Rosalind did.”

She nodded. “That makes sense. Rumor says the girl with Joel Miller was like us. Rosalind didn’t consider her legit.” You opened your mouth, but Yo-yo seemed to read your mind. “I don’t know much else. The only reason I know she exists is because when I was talking to a friend of mine about Rosalind's temper tantrum over you she mentioned this wasn't the first time Queen B lost her shit over Joel Miller.”

“That’s okay.” You mumbled.

Yo-you gave you a sheepish smile, “Hey, at least it wasn’t him who lied to you. That’s a good sign, right?”

Right. Joel never lied to you. But, it bothered you that he never mentioned it to you. Both of you discussed past relationships and he never brought up the fact that he had a sugar baby before you. In fact, the way he talked about how he was ‘lovingly bullied’ into this, and went on dates with other babies that didn’t go well, almost implied to you that you were his first. Yo-yo changed the subject, trying to cheer you up, and eventually the waitress returned with your drinks. You smiled and nodded when necessary in the conversation, but a part of your focus was still stuck on this news.

A doubt had been planted, and like a weed it’s roots crept deeper and deeper until it was anchored in place.

Yo-yo was fun. You liked her. In fact, you wished she didn’t live in Seattle because you would love to introduce her to Nima. They’d get along well. To a degree that was arguably dangerous to the LA region, but fun nonetheless. 

You spent the entire afternoon with her and even got lunch with her when the sun became much too exhausting to bear for another second. She recommended a place on the strip that was renowned, but you stuck with your promise to Joel and asked if the two of you could stay in the Wynn. She wasn’t condescending or judgemental when you explained why. She actually agreed happily.

Overall, your day had been fun. The only issue being the lingering doubts about Joel. He texted you throughout the day. Little comments here and there either mocking the men he was with or asking how you were doing. Every sweet text reminded you of what Yo-yo said and then you felt sick with guilt over having anxiety about him to begin with. It was why you were dressed in your pajamas lying on your back in bed staring at the ceiling with your phone resting by your head.

“Listen,” Nima spoke through facetime, “You say the word, and I will use all my miles to fly out there right now and kick his ass for you.”

“Joel didn’t do anything wrong. He never lied to me. Rosalind did, technically.”

“He didn’t lie, but he also didn’t tell the truth.”

You shook your head, “He didn’t owe me that truth.” This was oddly working for you. Nima defended you while you defended Joel. Unorthodox, but that was kind of your life right now anyways. “Joel said he’d never lie to me and he hasn’t. That’s what matters.”

“Do you know any more about this other sugar baby? The one before you?”

You frowned at the phrasing and reminded yourself of the same things you were telling Nima now. Joel never owed you anything. There was no need for him to bring up the information, and you had never asked. You just assumed Rosalind was telling the truth and that was your first mistake.

“No.” You said. “Just that there was one, and Roaslind didn’t like her.”

“Okay, but at this point, have we met anyone that Rosalind does like?”

You shrugged, “Joel?” Nima laughed through the phone and your lips curled up at the sound. “Thanks for this, Nima.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” She said. You rolled over and picked up the phone to look at her. She was still in her office at work, but since it was already after five you assumed she’d be going home soon. “You can thank me after I beat the man senseless with a baseball bat.”

You shook your head, “He’s literally the boss of your boss, and you think kicking his ass is a good idea? It’s gonna be hard to keep your job after that, and I’m sure the letter of recommendation they gave you wouldn’t be all that grand.”

“Are you kidding?” Nima smirked at you confidently. “When you’re as good as I am at what you do then kicking your boss’ ass is absolutely an option. I get job offers on a weekly basis.”

“You’re such a badass.” You chuckled.

“I know.” Nima beamed. The sound of her office door opening made you pause and Nima glanced up from her phone to answer the question of whoever poked their head in. You sighed and let your head fall forward to rest on the bed. Joel would be back any minute now, and you should be getting ready for dinner. Before coming, back when you had been shopping, you asked Joel what kind of settings you had to dress for and he mentioned the dinner. With his help you had picked out a dress specifically for the dinner. At the time it seemed the usual amount of cute, but now your plaguing thoughts wondered if he helped pick it out because the whole point was to just show you off. “Babe?”

You lifted your head to see Nima was staring at you in concern. You offered her a sad smile, “I just wish I could turn my dumb brain off for like two seconds.”

“Your brain is not dumb.” Nima replied. “It’s smart and beautiful and kind and loving. It’s one of my favorite brains”

Your smile turned sincere, and you shook your head at her, “What would I do without you?”

“Well, for one, you’d have to buy your own baseball bat to beat Joel with.”

“I’m not beating him with a bat.” Nima opened her mouth and you cut her off. “And I’m not letting you do it either.”

The sound of the door chiming and being opened made you say quick goodbyes to Nima who forced you to agree to text her an ‘SOS’ if you needed her skills with a blunt object. She also took the time to assure you that she had a friend in Vegas who could definitely help hide a body.

“Hey, you here?” Joel’s voice called out.

You tossed your phone back onto the bed before making your way out into the main room. Joel had showered and changed out of his golf clothes after the game. You had still been poolside at the time. Then his afternoon was filled with work. He wore a plain dark gray, bordering on black, suit with a white shirt and a pink tie of all things.

“Pink?” You motioned toward him. 

Joel readjusted the tie and gave a sheepish smile, “Fathers day gift from the girls. The color is a⏤ it’s an inside joke between us.” Joel nodded toward you with a furrowed brow. “Not that I’m complainin', 'cause I like the look, but pajamas aren’t really in the dress code tonight. Need some more time?”

“I uh…” You blurted with no prepared excuse in mind. 

Whatever look you wore on your face though was enough to fill Joel’s with concern. Joel closed the few feet between the two of you and cupped your face. “You feelin' alright, sugar?” One of his hands crawled up to feel your forehead. “Sick?”

“No, I’m okay.” You shook your head. “I think I was just in the sun too long today.”

“Did'ya drink 'nough water by the pool?”

“I thought so.” You gave him a tight lipped smile. “Now, I’m wondering if that last pina colada should've been an ice water.” Joel returned the smile, but there was still worry in his dark eyes. “I’m sorry, Joel. I don’t know if I can do the dinner tonight⏤”

Joel shook his head, “Hey, don’ worry yourself 'bout that. Dinner doesn’ matter.” He gently tugged you toward the couch so he could settle you on the cushions. “Do ya need me to take ya to a doctor? I’m sure I can find an urgent care 'round here that’s open, and if not the hospital is⏤”

“Joel, no.” You said firmly. “Seriously. I’m just…tired, I think. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizin'.”

You twisted your lips in guilt. Joel was paying you to keep him company and you were bailing on the main event. He was paying you. You didn’t often think those words because it left a bitter taste in your mouth. Joel brushed some hair from your face.

“Can I get ya anythin' while I’m out?”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Alright.” Joel leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You got your phone?” When you told him it was in the bedroom, Joel fetched it and brought it back to you. “Call me if you start feelin' worse. I’ll be back later.”

You nodded, “Good luck at the dinner.”

Another wave of guilt washed over you as you watched the door shut behind Joel. In this kind of situation most people would probably be angry. Nima was angry. You were so conflicted that you couldn’t even be angry correctly. You flopped back on the couch and lifted your phone. A bullet point list had been made to keep your thoughts straight when you met with Joel for the first time. Maybe a pros and cons list would help you decide if you wanted to be angry, guilty, or just sad.

Pro: Joel made you happier than you’ve been in a long time.

Con: He was paying you which made you more of an employee than a friend or lover.

Pro: Not having to worry about your bills has taken such a weight off your shoulders. One you didn’t even know you were carrying.

Con: That was a lot of power to give him. If you quit your job like he wanted too then you’d really be reliant on him. 

Pro: You were beginning to feel real emotions for this man, emotions you thought your ex had destroyed.

Con: If Joel didn’t share those real emotions you were going to get really hurt.

Pro: You were beginning to believe he did truly care for you.

Con: You had no idea if you were mixing that up with a man just showing interest in his sugar baby.

Pro: A part of you was starting to be okay with the sugar baby status. Relationships sometimes had really weird starts. People had met in weirder ways.

Con: If you really weren’t his first sugar baby, then the question remained. What if you were just one of many? You were young and poor and willing to let him control your life. It could just be what gets him off?

You stared at the list in front of you for another beat before mumbling a string of curses. That had somehow confused you more. This would be easier if you could detangle your feelings from this. View Joel in the same way Yo-yo views her sugar daddy. A means to an end. This even allowed you to jump his bones. You had no qualms with the idea of casual sex. It was like Nima had pointed out though, your last relationship had been serious and monogamous. Despite that, you truly believed you could handle a casual relationship. The issue was you already had feelings for the man, and you were bad at ignoring that.

It was approaching close to an hour since Joel left and you were still agonizing over your pros and cons list while Netflix played in the background, and you were half tempted to call Nima again. You only resisted because you knew if you called her again she’d take that as an invitation to meet you in Vegas ready to go to war. The sound of the door chiming startled you and you were half off the couch in panic when Joel stepped through.

“Hey, how’re you feelin'?” He asked. You stared at him blankly. In one hand he had a large brown bag and in the other a small bouquet of sunflowers in the other. “Sugar?”

“Joel!” You blurted and rose off the couch to greet him. “What’re you… The dinner! It can’t possibly be over yet.”

“Never went.” Joel set the bag on the nearby table and held the flowers out to you. “I asked the lady what flowers meant ‘feel better soon’ 'nd she said tulips, yellow roses, or sunflowers. Choice was obvious 'nough.” You took the bouquet and held them to your chest⏤ still speechless in shock. “Then I went to pick us up some food. It only took me so long 'cause of Vegas traffic an' I had to go off the strip to find a place.”

“But… But dinner?”

Joel grinned boyishly with a glimmer of excitement in his eyes, “My options were go to a stuffy dinner with guys I got no interest in seein', or have a night in with you.” He began to loosen his tie. “C'mon, sugar.”

You blinked at him. “Tess?”

“Will probably kill me.” Joel pulled the tie off with a shrug and gruffly added. “But she wants to kill me most days anyways.” He nodded to the bedroom. “Gimme a minute. I’m dyin' to get out of this damn suit.”

Joel tapped under your jaw with the side of his fist before heading to the bedroom. Even after he disappeared from view you stood frozen for another few seconds. Finally, you snapped out of it and walked over to the table. You set the flowers down and peeked into the bag to see the to-go food he mentioned. Carefully, you unpacked the bag and after the second box you realized it was Korean food. You froze again and felt a lump form in your throat. A while back, during a late night phone call, you had mentioned to him that Nima introduced you to Korean food by taking you home to meet her mother, and it had easily become a comfort food to you too. There was a Korean place a few blocks down from you where you’d pick up food on your way home on particularly bad days.

“I tried to order the soup you were talkin' 'bout, but you used the Korean word for it an' I sure as hell wasn’ gonna pronounce that right.” Joel spoke up from behind you. You spun to see him leaning against the doorway in a plain t-shirt and pajama pants. “So, I just described it to the woman an' she gave me the closest thing. Seaweed soup?” You nodded dumbly. “Good. Just in case I ordered a bunch of other stuff too.”

Suddenly, the pros and cons list you made didn’t matter all that much to you. Because right now, in this moment right here, Joel cared louder than the anxiety yelling in your brain. You dated Nathan for two years and he outwardly told you that he loved you. But before the two of you moved into together, when you had separate apartments, you paid for his rent when he lost his job, yet when you needed help covering your water bill once he claimed he wasn’t comfortable giving you so much money that early in the relationship. So much money being $100. When you asked him about one of his exes not only did he blatantly lie to your face about the last time he had seen her and after you found out he forced the three of you to get dinner together to prove whatever stupid point he was trying to make. And, right before you broke up, when you had caught the flu and begged him to pick you up some food from the place down the road, he refused because he said he didn’t like the smell of kimchi and didn’t want to go into the restaurant.

Your eyes filled with tears and Joel’s face fell. He pushed off the door frame in a hurry and pulled you into his arms. You buried your face into his chest and tried to bite back a sob. Joel soothingly cupped the back of your head, “Hey, you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You murmured into his chest and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying.” 

Joel shushed you softly and pulled you back so he could meet your gaze, “None of that. It’s okay. You’re okay.” His hand cupped under your jaw as his thumb traced back and forth on the skin there. “Talk to me, sugar.”

You stared into his eyes and felt nothing by safety and warmth. “I’m just really thankful for this. For you. Just… Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me, Joel.” 

Joel’s lips curled into a soft smile, “What have I said 'bout thankin' me for things I wanna do?”

Rather than answer, you just held his gaze. Joel did the same and the air between the two of you felt charged. There was always an energy bubbling anytime you were with Joel, but this was stronger⏤ more tangible. His eyes darted down to your lips then back up. Joel was going to kiss you. You were so sure of it. When his eyes darted down to your lips again you let them part. Anticipation electric on your skin. Joel sucked in a sharp breath. He leaned in, but his lips didn’t land where you thought they would. Joel set a kiss on your forehead, right above your eyebrows, and lingered there. 

He had kissed your forehead before, did so right before he left an hour ago, but this was more intimate somehow. Your eyes fluttered closed and you took in a slow breath before letting it out. Joel pulled his warm lips away from your skin and let his own forehead rest against yours.

Your eyes stayed closed as you soaked in the feel of his hot breath against your skin and a pang of disappointment shot through you. “Joel…”

“I know.” Joel’s voice was hoarse and rough. “I… I know.”

Slowly, you let your eyes open and found Joel with his eyes already on you. “It’s okay.”

“You are…” Joel locked his jaw and closed his eyes. 

There was something holding him back. You saw it written all over his face. Maybe you should worry that this had something to do with what Yo-yo had tried to tell you. Ten minutes earlier and you would’ve. Your anxiety would have grabbed hold of it, written it in bold on your cons list, and never left it alone. But, right now you felt at peace. That’s what Joel brought with him⏤ a sense of peace and calmness to your very soul. And that’s what you wanted to bring to him. You wanted to take care of him.

Your hands lifted to cup his face and when his eyes opened you gave him a bright smile. “If we don’t eat now the food’s gonna get cold.” His jaw relaxed and he murmured your name. Just as he did to you, you nodded, “I know.” 

Joel cleared his throat and caressed your face once more before nodding, “Come on. Let’s get some food in you, pretty girl.”

While Joel finished pulling out the food, you set the sunflowers in a vase that was probably only meant for decoration and filled it with water. A glance over your shoulder showed Joel setting the food up on the coffee table in front of the couch. 

“I put the wine from last night in the mini fridge if you wanna grab it.” 

“Yeah, sure.” You made your way over and grabbed two glasses while you were doing so. “I gotta see what bribe wine tastes like.”

Joel turned and shot you a skeptical look, “Bribe wine?”

“The Wynn gave you the expensive wine to bribe you into not telling all your rich friends that you and your guest got accosted in the casino.”

He shook his head, “That is not bribe wine.”

“Why are you so sure?” You set the wine glasses down on the table and began to look for the corkscrew. “Do you dabble in bribe wine often, Mr. Miller?”

Joel groaned, “Don’ you start with this Mr. Miller shit.”

“Why not?”

“Because last I checked,” Joel stepped closer as you used the corkscrew you found in a drawer to begin opening the wine, “You’re supposed to be callin' me somethin' else.”

You gave the cork a tug, but it didn’t budge. “Hm, I can’t possibly think of what.”

“Oh, you can’t?” Joel remarked. You shook your head and gave the cork another useless tug. He took the wine bottle from you and, without breaking eye contact, Joel popped the cork out with ease. You went to grab it from him, but he pulled it back with a tilt of his head. “Manners, sugar.”

The worst case scenario would’ve been an awkward air settling in the room around you after coming so close to kissing him only for it not to happen. That being said, Joel slipped right back into the familiar teasing and that made you sigh happily. You held your hands out, “Thank you, daddy.”

“Good girl.” Joel chuckled and let you take the bottle from him. As you poured into the two glasses, Joel scooped up the remote and sat down. You dropped down next to him and handed him his glass. He tapped it against yours. “Any requests?”

“I’m not picky. You can choose.” You took a sip of the wine then hummed. “Mmm, this bribe wine tastes amazing.”

Joel laughed but didn’t take his gaze away from the screen as he flipped through different options, “You’re impossible, ya know that?”

He picked a random Netflix original action movie titled ‘Triple Frontier’ and tossed the remote aside. The movie played in the background, but the two of you ended up talking through a lot of it as you pointed out different foods that Nima had introduced you to originally and he had picked up. When the meal had been finished, you were curled into his side still sipping wine half chatting and half watching the movie.

A moment of silence rose up between the two of you and after a second you filled it, “About the dinner I made you miss⏤”

“First off, you didn’ make me do anythin'.” Joel scoffed. “An' secondly, I swear to God, if you apologize again…”

You chuckled, “Okay, I won’t apologize, but we’re in Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, and I have us sitting on the couch watching a Netflix movie.”

“This right here is literally my definition of a perfect night.” Joel shook his head at you.

You leaned against his shoulder and decided to mention your afternoon, “I, uh, I met one of the sugar babies that was gonna be at the dinner tonight.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. She goes by Yo-yo.”

“Doesn’ ring a bell…”

“I think she said her sugar daddy is Simmons? Of Simmons Construction?”

Joel groaned loudly and hung his head backward, “Jesus, Simmons? Girl gotta be a saint to put up with that bastard.”

“She did refer to the man as ‘satan’.”

Joel lifted his head and smirked at you, “See? You saved me from a night with satan.” You chuckled. “Zero reason to be apologizin’. I should be thankin' you.”

“I think it’s a shame I didn’t get to meet him.” You hummed. “It sounds like quite the experience.”

Joel sighed and took a long sip from his wine glass, “Yeah, well, there’s always next year, sugar.”

Your eyes widened at his words, but Joel didn’t even blink. It was like he hadn’t even realized what he just said⏤ what he inferred. That you’d be here next year. With him still. You shifted your gaze back to the TV and smiled to yourself. 

After another few quiet moments, you pointed toward the TV with your glass, “That guy looks like you.”

“Him?” Joel asked skeptically. You nodded in confirmation. “I’m better lookin' though right?”

“Of course, daddy! So much better looking.” You nodded. 

Joel chuckled and reached down to pinch your side making you squeal and nearly spill your wine, “Right answer, wrong tone, ya little brat.”

You settled back against him, and Joel didn’t hesitate to tuck you in under his arm.

When the movie ended, Joel clicked on whatever the first suggested movie was so something was still playing, but neither of you paid enough attention to even know the title. The hand behind your shoulder was drawing circles on your shoulder while telling you about how excited he was that his eldest daughter was coming to visit soon.

“Do you have something fun planned?”

“We gotta tradition where we go to the drive in theater. No matter what’s playin'. Just sit in the bed of the truck an' hang out.”

You grinned, “That sounds fun.”

“It is.” Joel nodded and grew silent in thought. You thought he’d follow his last statement up with something else about the girls, but he caught you off guard with something else. “I wanna kiss you so bad, sugar.”

It was a good thing you had already set down your glass of wine otherwise it would have slipped right out of your hands. You sat up so you could turn in place and face him on the couch. Joel’s eyes traced your features with a sigh. Slowly, you nodded, “Do you… Do you want to talk about why you haven’t?”

“I’m jus',” Joel lifted his hand and caressed your jawline with his thumb, “Tryin' real hard to be good.” You opened your mouth to argue that he didn't have to be, but Joel pressed the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip to stop you before a word even came out. “Nah, I gotta. I gotta be good.” He forcibly dragged his eyes up from your lips to your eyes. “I like what we got. I like this. If I do somethin' to fuck it up, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“And giving me just a little kiss is gonna do that?”

Joel’s lips curled into a melancholic smile, “I think you an' I both know if we start it ain’t gonna be just some little kiss, baby girl.”

It was the first time he had used that pet name towards you and you just melted. If he was trying to steer the both of you away from temptation, calling you ‘baby girl’ was not helping. “How do you know that this won’t just get better?” It kind of stung realizing the reason he stopped earlier was because he thought a physical relationship would ruin this. “Why do you assume that would fuck this up? I⏤”

“No.” Joel said firmly and he squeezed his hold on the side of your face at the same time for even more emphasis. “Not you. What I jus' said? I’m talkin' 'bout me. Me fuckin' it up. It comes from… from personal experience.”

You wanted more information. You wanted him to explain more. You wanted to ask him about the sugar baby that came before you. Was that the personal experience he was talking about? All those thoughts, and you somehow couldn’t get a single one out of your damn mouth. 

“I’m only bringin' this up 'cause I don’ want you confused.”

“Confused about what exactly?”

“'bout how much I want you.” Joel replied. You attempted to swallow the forming lump in your throat, but it didn’t help. “I jus' wanna do right by you, sugar. An' that…that’s just gonna take a little time, okay?” You gave him a small nod. “Can we jus' stay what we are in the meantime? If… If you don’t wanna wait for me to get my shit together, if you wanna walk, I understand.”

“No. I’ll wait.” You blurted. The thought of Joel leaving your life was too painful to even consider. The man had carved a slot in your life, and his absence would be noticed⏤ not just financially speaking either. If you walked away, you would miss him badly. Waiting was hardly a cost you had to think twice about. Especially, since you’d still have him in the meantime. Maybe not in the entire way you wanted him, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. “If it means being with you, then I’ll happily wait.”

Joel pressed a chaste kiss to your temple before pulling you into a tight hug that you returned without hesitation. This wouldn’t be easy, but it was worth the effort. You pulled back and suggested changing the movie from whatever was playing to something the two of you would actually pay attention to, best of your ability at least, and Joel agreed. He grabbed the remote and pulled you into his side. The two of you were only a few options into the discussion when someone knocked on the door⏤ loud enough that it could probably be referred to a ‘banging’ rather than simply knocking.

“Did you order something?” You asked.

“No.” Joel rose cautiously and held a hand out for you to stay on the couch. There was a tension in his shoulders that worried you.

He only took a step forward when a female voice drifted faintly through the shut door, “Miller, I swear to Christ if you don’t open this goddamn door…”

Joel muttered a curse but his entire frame visibly relaxed. He glanced over his shoulder while approaching the door. “Whatever she says, jus' know I’m sorry for it.” You furrowed your brow at his words, but he explained no further. Joel tugged the door open and a brunette haired woman stormed in. Her light shade of hair was pulled back into a low, loose bun. A style thrown together just to keep it out of her face more than likely. She was around Joel’s age, if you had to garner a guess, and she wore a black form fitting dress that looked incredible on her, but you could see she wasn’t entirely comfortable in it. “Tess⏤”

“You son of bitch.” Tess pointed at him threateningly. She was shorter than him by a head, but Joel still reeled back with his hands held in mock surrender. “See? Can’t even fight back because you know you’re in the fucking wrong.”

“I’m sorry⏤”

“You know who I spent my night with?”

“Tess⏤”

“Putting up with Simmons, Crew, Han, and their trio of bimbo sugar babies.” Tess snapped. You frowned. Yo-yo was hardly a bimbo, she confided in you the reason she was saving up all that money was because she wanted to go back to college and then on to Law School, but she also told you she played it dumb around Simmons so you couldn’t fault Tess’ words. “All so you could⏤”

As if suddenly remembering why Joel had bailed, her light hazel eyes snapped to you. You stiffened awkwardly and not knowing what else to do, you lifted a hand in a pathetic wave, “Uh, hi.”

Tess stared at you for another beat before letting her eyes drag back to Joel in a look you could only describe as irritably smug. “Well⏤”

“Tess.” Joel snapped with fire in his voice. You finally looked away from Tess to glance at Joel. He was stiff again and you recognized the look of anger on his features with ease. “Don’t.”

Tess crossed her arms and scoffed, “Go get dressed. You’re getting drinks with the pricks.”

“I’m what?”

“I spent the last three hours pretending like I didn’t want to stab Simmons in the neck with my dinner fork.” Tess warned. “The least you can do is get that pretty little ass in a suit and go get one drink with him so you can discuss the Golden Plains plans.”

Joel locked his jaw and didn’t reply. Tess didn’t say anything further either. The two just glared at one another. She was sharp and cool ice while he felt like a wild and burning fire, yet it felt like an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force. Finally, Joel huffed angrily and shook his head.

“C’mon.” He grunted at you. He held his hand out as he walked toward the bedroom.

You began to stand, despite not loving the rough, grumbled command, but Tess shook her head. “No sugar babies allowed, per Simmons. Just the big boys for cigars and drinks.”

“What makes you think I give two shits what Simmons wants??”

“Play fucking nice, you ass.” Tess snapped. “You owe me.”

“Because you did your job at one dinner? I⏤”

“San Antonio 2019.”

Joel paused and scoffed, “Never let me live that fucking down.”

He waved his hand at her in irritation before disappearing into the bedroom. You heard the bathroom door slam shut and you jumped in place. The sound had been enough to remind you that you were now alone in a room with Tess. Slowly, you turned toward her to see she was already staring at you with the cold look she had pierced Joel with.

“Hi.” You said sheepishly and offered her a nervous smile. You introduced yourself, “Joel has told me a lot about you. I⏤”

“You two fucking?” Tess blurted. Your face burned and you opened your mouth to splutter out the beginnings of the answer, but she shook her head. “Guess not considering I’m finding you both on the couch fully clothed.”

You set your hands on your hips and cleared your throat, “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Don’t care if we did.” Tess replied. She marched closer and you had to resist the urge to scramble back from the incredibly intimidating woman. “Listen to me right now because I’m only giving you this warning once.” Tess crossed her arms. “The Miller brothers get these dumb fucking ideas in their head, but once they pick one they’re like a dog with a bone. Can’t get them to shake it.” She narrowed her eyes at you. “I told him I thought this was a stupid ass idea, but like I said⏤ dog with a fucking bone.”

“Look, I⏤”

“I’ve known Joel for twenty years.” Tess said firmly. “He’s family. Him, the girls, his idiot ass brother. I’ve been taking care of them from the start and I don’t do well with strangers stepping in to take advantage.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, “No, no. This is a misunderstanding. I am not taking advantage of Joel.”

“So you paid for half this trip to Vegas?”

“Uh, no, but⏤”

“And he’s not paying all your bills?”

“Well⏤”

“Footing the cost of every single⏤”

“Hey.” You snapped to interrupt her and Tess’ eyes widened marginally in surprise. You swallowed nervously. Nima knew a friend that could help you hide a body, but there was something about Tess that told you she could drag you out to the desert alone and figure it out herself. “Yes, he is taking care of me, but it’s not just… I care about him. A lot. Joel means so much to me. I’m not just here to make ends meet. I really like him.”

Tess hummed, “Right. You’re one of those rare sugar babies who like a guy for their personality and not their wallet?”

“Well,” You cracked the most friendly smile you could muster to try and break the tension, “It helps he’s gorgeous.” Tess continued to glare at you, and you were tempted to throw a chair through the suite window and leap out just to avoid her stare. Granted, she looked close to just throwing you out herself. “Bad joke. Very bad joke. That was⏤ I’m sorry. When I get nervous my mouth just says things without my permission.”

It was painfully silent in the room as she just stared at you. You cleared your throat and just stood there awkwardly. Finally, Tess spoke up, “You step one toe out of line, and you will regret it. Do I make myself clear?”

The sound of the bathroom door opened and you nodded. “Crystal.”

Joel stepped back out wearing the suit he had earlier, but without the tie. The top few buttons of his shirt were messily hanging open and he didn’t bother fixing his tousled hair. Tess rolled her eyes at him, “Finally. Let’s go.”

“Just hang on.” Joel walked toward you.

“Miller⏤”

“Give me two fuckin' seconds, Tess.” Joel snapped.

Tess scoffed and marched out of the room into the hall without a passing goodbye in your direction. Joel finally reached you and his warm hands cupped your arms. You focused back on him and the softness you had grown used to had returned in his gaze. “So, she hates me.”

“No.” Joel shakes his head. “She don't.”

“You weren’t in here with us a minute ago, I think she might try and kill me.”

Joel chuckled and dragged a hand up past your shoulder to cup the side of your neck. “Tess is just… protective. A bull dog.”

You furrowed your brow, “She compared you to a dog too a second ago.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

Joel kissed your forehead, “I don’ know when I’ll be back so don’ wait up for me, 'kay? Same deal as last time. You need anythin' an' you jus' shoot me a text. Do not leave this room or let anyone in while I’m gone.” You nodded, but Joel wanted more than that. “Understood?”

“Yeah, I got it.” You agreed.

Joel brushed his thumb against your cheek in a caress once more before wishing you a good night and leaving. With both of them out of the room, you felt like you were finally catching your breath. 

Vegas had been a whirlwind, but you supposed that was the appeal of the city to so many. Your hand was tangled with Joel’s as the two of you slowly walked through the lobby. Your bags had already been packed and brought down to the car by the staff. Now the two of you were just lingering for the sake of lingering. Joel told you more about the annoying time he had last night⏤ he hadn’t managed to get back until just past midnight.

You focused on the drag of his thumb against the back of your hand as he spoke. As much as you hated to admit it, you only half paid attention to the words he was saying. Your mind was playing through your meeting with Tess line by line. There was something nagging at you.

Joel squeezed your hand suddenly and you snapped your gaze to see him looking beyond you. He nodded, “She’s callin' you.”

“Huh?” You glanced over your shoulder to see Yo-yo waving to you as she hurried over. She wore a white cocktail dress that clung to her skin. Her hair was curled in pretty wave. “Oh, Yo-yo, hey.”

“I am so glad I caught you!” Yo-yo squealed and pulled you in a tight hug despite your hand still being connected to yours. “Ugh, I missed you so much last night. Can’t believe you bailed on me!” 

“Sorry, I wasn’t feeling good.” You motioned to Joel. “Yo-yo, this is Joel Miller. Joel, this is Yo-yo. She’s the one I met by the pool yesterday.”

“It’s super nice to meet you, Mr. Miller.” Yo-yo replied in a musical tone. 

Joel grunted in agreement with a curt nod. You gave him a curious glance, but he met your gaze. He nodded once, “Stay. I’ll get the car.”

“Oh, okay.” You replied. Joel pulled his hand from yours and wandered away. You furrowed your eyebrow in slight confusion.

Yo-yo chuckled and her tone lost the bubbly tone to return to her baseline normal one, “Wow. He is just as stoic and grumpy as everyone says.” You opened your mouth to argue. Technically, neither of those words described the man you spent your days with, but you couldn’t deny they fit him in the few seconds with Yo-yo here. “Also, he seriously is stupid hot. God. His jawline just makes me wanna gnaw on it. Shame he’s kind of a sleaze ball.”

“I don’t even know what that means⏤ wait, what?” You shook your head as the final part of her statement dawned on you. “What did you just say?”

Yo-yo twisted her lips in a frown, “I seriously am glad I caught you. I mean, I was gonna call you regardless, but this is probably better in person.”

“Yo-yo, spit it out.” You snapped. 

“I did some digging last night when Simmons was out. Called a few girls I actually trust.” She sighed. “Best I’ve gathered, the sugar baby he had before you? Her name is Heather. Granted, I have no idea if that’s her real name or not since a good bit of us lie about that.” Yo-yo reached out to hold your elbow. “Anyways, my friend Tammy says the last time Heather bragged about seeing him was around four months ago.”

You blinked in shock. Four months? That was even less time considering you and Joel had been hanging out for almost a month and a half now. Worse, if it were true that meant Joel lied to you. He said his last relationship had been a year ago.

“That’s not the worst part…” Yo-yo said slowly.

“That’s not…” You lifted a hand to your face. You didn’t mean to snap at her, but it came out in frustration and confusion. “How exactly does it get worse, Yo-yo!?”

She hesitated a beat before sighing. Yo-yo said the words, you saw her mouth move and the words entered your skull, but they rattled around in a way that left your ears ringing. Yo-yo was saying your name in concern, but you were still trying to register her previous statement.

“He married her. Joel is a married man.”

Yeah. Yo-yo was right.

That was worse.

taglist (closed):

@weddingfairy @bfences @fairntonorth @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk @shelbyteller @anoverwhelmingdin @aheadfullofsteverogers @stagerightlauren @basicoccult @rinnfey @boofy1998 @farintonorth @thepascalofus @amatis-gray @casa-boiardi @northernbluess @jettia @sapphicsoie @spidey-3 @camiali25 @hrtsforpascal @gingersince97 @sentients17 @bigboiseason123 @lunxramour @ktheunready @heyheyheygaypay @keepingupwiththeskywalkers @adoringanakin @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @cherriebat @whitewolfstar01 @alyssa121611 @asreadbyaj @painfullyandprettypoetic @cantobightcafe @hellooseulgi @str84pedro

[previous][next]

✨J.M. Masterlist✨

[caught-on-tape-fest]

Caught On Tape: A Carry On Podfest Masterlist

Caught On Tape is a podfic festival for fanfic related to Rainbow Rowell's Simon Snow Trilogy and Fangirl that runs October 29th to November 11th, 2023.

Listed below are all of the podfics posted so far for the fest! (You can find them on AO3 in our collection too.) Thank you so much to all of the wonderful creators who have participated and to the writers who volunteered their works to be podficced.

Rated G

[Podfic] Figure It Out (length: 3:22) read by @forabeatofadrum, written by @wellbelesbian

[Podfic] The Plum Tree (length: 6:21) read by @fatalfangirl, written by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2

[Podfic] Threads of Fate by Aristocratic_Otter (length 1:51:59) read by @caethes, written by @aristocratic-otter

Rated T

[Podfic] Dare (length: 25:09) read by @theimpossibledemon, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow Squeaksbury (length: 19:15) read by @youarenevertooold, written by @aroace-genderfluid-sheep

[Podfic] namesakes (length: 6:34) read by @forabeatofadrum, written by @tea-brigade

[Podfic] Crisp and Sweet (length: 22:00) read by @bookish-bogwitch, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] We Still Bloom (length 1:45:00) read by @hushed-chorus, written by @artsyunderstudy

[Podfic] A Prickly Disposition (length 11:56) read by @fatalfangirl, written by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[Podfic] A Restless Mind (Chapter 2 added) (length Ch 1 35:21, Ch 2 45:21) read by @cottagepodfics, written by @whatevertheweather

[Podfic] Worst Disney Princess Ever (length 54:28) read by @youarenevertooold, written by @hushed-chorus

[Podfic] Return to Sender (length 40:08) read by @spiri-a, writtenby @tea-brigade

[Podfic] Meet Me Under the Mistletoe (length 25:48) read by RattleandHum, written by @artsyunderstudy

[Podfic] Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats) (length 32:23) read by @youarenevertooold, written by @whatevertheweather

[Podfic] This Is What We'll Tell Them (length 13:55) read by @captain-aralias, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] The Sound of Silence (length 49:00) read by @spiri-a, written by @captain-aralias

[Podfic] Petrichor (length 34:26) read by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, written by @martsonmars

[Podfic] Tuesday (length 6:51) read by @freclface, written by @sillyunicorn

[Podfic] Light Me Up (length 37:28) read by @larkral, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] "Bro. You can just sleep with me." (length 7:13) read by @larkral, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] Bestie Status Achieved (length 12:14) read by @larkral, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] Who Cooks For You? (length 8:16) read by @karry-on, written by @sillyunicorn

[Podfic] 5 times agatha wellbelove should have realised she was a lesbian, and 1 time she did (length 14:35) read by @karry-on, written by @wellbelesbian

[Podfic] Flowers, Cake, and Filthy DMs (length 11:24) read by @iamamythologicalcreature, written by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[Podfic] Is This the Real Life? (length 42:52) read by @petrodobreva and @ivelovedhimthroughworse, written by @captain-aralias

[Podfic] Icarus (length 3:02) read by @forabeatofadrum, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] The Selkie and his Boy (length 2:07:00 spread over six chapters) read by @spiri-a, written by @hushed-chorus

[Podfic] Wielded by the Righteous by Maanorchidee (length 12:32) read by pectinouscube, written by @forabeatofadrum

Rated M

[Podfic] Sleeper Agents (length 13:31) read by @larkral, written by @mostlymaudlin

[Podfic] Shiver (length 43:48) read by theimpossibledemon, written by @captain-araliasand @facewithoutheart

[Podfic] Hold You Close Just Like a Photograph (length 20:05) read by @captain-aralias, written by @skeedelvee

Rated E

[Podfic] The Worst Chosen Ones (The "Let It Snow" Remix) (length 39:19) read by @bookish-bogwitch, written by @captain-aralias

[Podfic] Playing the Field (length 45:56) read by @cutestkilla, written by @fatalfangirl

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you everybody who's tagged me over the past couple of weeks. I've been picking away at BPD but not quite feeling like I had anything to share--stuff felt either too spoiler-y or too unpolished. But I finally, FINALLY have a first draft done of chapter 10. The first real edit is my favorite stage of writing--it's when I start actually liking the thing I wrote--so, no coincidence that I actually have something for you. Snippet and tags below the cut.

Here's our hero out for a stroll.

5:47 p.m. Wavering Wood. Usual hunting grounds full of squirrels but think will go deeper into forest for variety. Is spice of life. 5:50 p.m. Found brace of pheasants in Wood’s southeast quarter. Game fowl delicious but always reminds me of upstairs-downstairs dramas with everyone constantly changing clothes, lamenting feudal collapse, being secretly gay etc. I get enough of that at home. 6:02 p.m. Would not actually mind the changing, though. All those waistcoats and ascots and spats and everyone just agreeing you needed at least four outfits to get through day. Clothes almost worth criminalisation of sodomy. 6:08 p.m. Except fucking fox-hunting kit. Stupid fuzzy helmet and world’s dullest breeches and jackets designed to turn vampire complexions green. 6:14 p.m. Whole fox-hunting concept idiotic. Galloping around, trampling countryside, tally-hoing like idiots, for what—two blood units? 6:15 p.m. The horse is right there.

By the way, I am not going to get this chapter posted by July 12 like I'd hoped, but I WILL get it posted by July 26, when I'll be heading out of town for three weeks.

@larkral @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@emeryhall @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @brilla-brilla-estrellita @shrekgogurt

@roomwithanopenfire @run-for-chamo-miles @mooncello @monbons @wellbelesbian

@drowninginships @rimeswithpurple @blackberrysummerblog @comesitintheclover @ebbpettier

@confused-bi-queer @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @aristocratic-otter @youarenevertooold @prettygoododds

@ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @skeedelvee @fatalfangirl @katatsumuli

@valeffelees @whogaveyoupermission @whatevertheweather @messofthejess @nightimedreamersworld

@raenestee @wetheformidables @nightimedreamersworld @onepintobean @iamamythologicalcreature

@arthurkko @thehoneyedhufflepuff @beastmonstertitan @stitchy-queerista @ic3-que3n

[halfetirosie]

Quincy is Unintentionally Comedy Gold; Edmond Is Fuckin COOL and I LOVE HIM ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

(Prison Cell 08-010 React-os!)

Guys, am I tripping, or are the Part 2 chapters significantly longer than the ones in Part 1 of this event?

1. PFFFFFT (≧∇≦)

Quincy... you sleep all the time, everywhere... Just how stressed were you that YOU couldn't sleep, and turned grumpy about it????

BRUH 🤦‍♀️

2. T....Topper-nese.....Quinglish......

EIDEN, SWEETIE, I LOVE YOU. NEVER CHANGE.

3. Topper is the ULTIMATE HOMIE!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

No, but, for real!!! I think sometimes we forget--since we, too, or not well-versed in Topper-nese--but every time we seen Topper looking out for Eiden and being genuinely concerned for him, it just warms my heart right up!!! What a dude!!!!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

4. PFFFFFT (≧∇≦)

QUINCY, YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!

Quincy was literally only trying to talk to that guy, but the poor dude got so scared he immediately shifted into Fight or Flight mode!!!!

Yes, I realize that Quincy is just a Giant Man to people that don't know him, and I realize that they were in prison. BUT. Given the context we have, someone getting SO SPOOKY by just a Casual Quincy is hilarious to me.

I do feel kinda bad for Quincy, tho.... 😅

5. NO FUCKING WAY DUDE

PFFFFFT (≧∇≦)

OLIVINE JUMPSCARE!!!!!

YO. I was NOT expecting to see him here! Like, I started reading the bit with Eiden praying with everyone, and I just thought, "Oh my god, are they--?" And then, POOF! There's our boi, in all his glory! XD

In my defense, since they already pulled the 'ol Surprise Visitors in Part 1 (with the Yakumo Jumpscare), I didn't think they would do it again, okay??

6. I honestly love it when events tackle big societal issues; it happened in the last event, and it's happening again now!

Eiden's got me like:

(I keep finding myself in situations where I just HAVE to use this dumbass meme I made XD)

Nah, but this really is a conversation-starter, ain't it? Eiden does have a point--whether you give lawful justice of vigilante justice, at the end of the day, do either of those do anything to change the corrupt system?

Personally, I think there's a time and a place for either of those, but idk if I want to get into all of that right now... I'M not the one majoring in Philosophy...

7. THIS IS WHY I LOVE EDMOND SO DAMN MUCH!!!!

MY BABE! MY LOVE!!! YOU'RE SUCH A BADASS!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡

Listen. First in the Character-Ask Meme, then in the Giant Ed-Post for Fanfic Writers, what do I keep saying???? Time and time again?????

ED IS A FUCKING GOOD PERSON, WITH INTEGRITY, THAT GENUINELY CARES. THIS DUDE HAS PRINCIPLES AND HE STICKS TO THEM. HE WORKS GODDAMN HARD, DESPITE DANGEROUS SITUATIONS AND LONG HOURS, TO CHANGE SOCIETY FOR THE BETTER. HE'S DOING HIS FUCKING BEST TO COMBAT RAMPANT CORRUPTION.

THIS MAN IS A GODDAMN HERO!!! AND THIS LITTLE SPEECH HERE IS AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF THAT!!!!

Hell, even Quincy (in his infinite wisdom) knows what's up.

Lord help me, I just can't stop simping for this man.....

♡ End of report ♡

[melodygatesauthor]

GUYS I CAN'T BELIEVE I HIT 2K OMG. Big big big thank you again for everyone who followed me, reblogged, and contributed to this milestone. I love you all so so so much.

I have WAY too many WIPS, including my own original fiction (you can check it on @lockandkeynovel), so I'm not going to be doing any drabbles or anything like that. I'll save that for another milestone babes. I do have some fun things we can do instead though below the cut.

----

Blorbos Invited to Celebration

Note: Some characters have different versions. When sending an ask you can choose any character and type listed. - Please read the types of questions I'm accepting below the blorbo list.

Poe Dameron - Regular/First Order (Dark Poe)

Nathan Bateman - Regular/Yandere

Miguel O'Hara - Regular/Yandere/Not Spider-Man

Blue Jones - Asylum/Club

Jake Lockley - Regular/Yandere/Mafia/DBF

Steven Grant - Regular/Yandere/Professor/DBF

Marc Spector - Regular/Yandere/Venom Host/DBF

Santiago Garcia - Regular/DBF/BFD

Jonathan Levy - Regular/Professor

*You can also ship any of the characters above

Writing Related

WIPS (for me) is defined as any chapter or fic that I'm currently working on, for instance, if I have a chapter started for The Fractured Moon, that chapter is considered a WIP.

I'll write some VERY short headcanons or blurbs for any blorbos listed above.

Pick a character and I'll pick a random WIP to share a line from. (If you have a specific WIP you want just lmk)

Ask me anything about any of my fics: headcanons for fics, mini-blurbs, thots e.t.c.

Send me a word and if any of my WIPS have that word in it, I'll post the line from that WIP.

Games

Make me choose between 2 things

Ask me my top three of any topic

Would you rather - blorbo edition (just make your question blorbo related lol)

Miscellaneous

Ask me literally anything, I'm super open about most things

Send me pics of my favorite blorbos or ask me what my fave pics of a specific blorbo are!

Pick a character above and suggest an AI character for me to make!

Send as many submissions as you want!

This will go on for a few days while I'm not working as much.

Non-anonymous requests will be prioritized over anon.

Ends Wednesday night 08/09/2023 at 6pm EST

[ohbueckers]

HEART OF A WOMAN. but she don’t want a weekend, she wants all of me or none of me. if she can’t work with all of me, then she says she’s done with me.

08, CHAPTER EIGHT. PICK YOUR POSION, BABE.

ju speaks. game day treat! we’re so close to the end uuugh. i am so sorry this took so long but i’ll be very much more free by the end of next week (expect a surprise). pairing. wnba!paige bueckers x fem!oc. warnings. down bad paige, sexual content (but you’re lowkey robbed, sorry).

present day, july, 2025.

my mom’s been moving around the house all morning, barking orders like she’s running a military operation instead of prepping for a barbecue. “paige, grab the plates from the garage. paige, call your uncle and remind him to bring the cooler. paige—are you even listening to me?”

i wasn’t. i’ve been glued to the couch, legs sprawled out and my phone in hand, doing absolutely nothing useful. azzi’s been helping, and has now been giving me side-eyes for the last twenty minutes, like she’s waiting for me to get up and pull my weight, but i can’t. my mind’s too caught up in everything but tomorrow’s big family gathering.

i know i should be helping. i know my mom’s patience with me is already wearing thin and i’ve only been home for two days, but i don’t wanna get up. i would rather lounge and pout until i’m back in la to see nai.

i shift on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through nai’s instagram. she posted a picture this morning, sunset in the back, her smile the most captivating thing. she was at the beach—again—with some of her college friends, looking like summer personified, and too fucking good. i couldn’t even bring myself to like it.

i’m scrolling through the comments when my mom comes back inside, stopping in her tracks and frowning when she realizes i’m right where she left me.

“paige,” she scolds, sharp enough to make me flinch. “if you’re not gonna help, at least get off your phone and talk to your friend. azzi looks like she’s about to die of boredom.”

“oh, i’m fine, mrs. fuller,” azzi reassures as my mom disappears into the kitchen. i squint at her, and she smirks at me. “your mom’s gonna start talking about how ungrateful you are in about five minutes.”

i scrunch my face up, resisting the urge to fall out like a child. “whatever, man. let her talk. she don’t get it.”

azzi leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she gives me that look—the one she’s perfected after years of dealing with me. it’s half amused, half exasperated, like she’s trying to decide if i’m worth the energy it’ll take to get this out of me.

she decides i am.

i glare at her, speaking before she can say it. “it’s not about nai.”

“mm-hmm,” she hums, unconvinced. azzi gets up from her spot across the room, stretching her arms over her head with an exaggerated groan. “you’re pathetic, you know that?” she strolls over to the couch, and i quirk a brow. “what’s got you so pressed, huh? was it her Instagram post? don’t lie. i saw you scrolling,” she presses.

“i wasn’t pressed,” i mutter, side-eyeing her as she plops down next to me. “i was just… lookin’.”

“yeah, looking like a stalker,” azzi teases, leaning over to snatch my phone from the cushion. “let’s see what’s got you acting like this.”

“azzi!” i lunge for the phone, but she’s already holding it out of reach, scrolling through the app like she owns it. “give it back, bro!”

“oh, this the one?” she laughs, turning the screen so i can see nai’s post. her thumb hovers over the like button. “should i do it for you? give her a little reminder you’re still alive?”

“don’t you—” i growl, trying to wrestle the phone from her grip.

she twists away, laughing even harder now. “oh, come on. you’re already drooling over her. might as well make it official.”

“azzi!” i manage to grab the phone, yanking it back and holding it close to my chest. my face feels hot, and i know i’m blushing. “mind your business.”

“you’re the one making it everyone’s business,” she fires back, smirking as she settles back against the couch. “what happened to you being smooth, huh? big bad paige bueckers, losing her cool over her ex?”

“first of all,” i start, pointing at her, “she’s not my ex. second of all, i’m not losin’ my cool. i’m just… takin’ my time, okay?”

“takin’ your time,” azzi repeats, rolling her eyes as her arms cross over her chest. “if you miss her so much, just invite her here for the fourth.”

i can’t just invite her. it’s what i want to say. but instead, i sit there, my mouth half-open like i’m trying to catch the right words before they slip away.

“you don’t think it’s too soon?” i finally ask.

azzi lists the options for me. “worst case, she’s busy. best case, you get to be around your girl all weekend. sounds like a win to me.”

a win to me too.

i groan, dragging a hand over my face as she stalls, waiting for me go through with it. her words hang in the air, and i hate that she’s got a point. inviting nai here isn’t some grand declaration, but it feels like it.

we haven’t talked about where our talk on the beach leaves us. nai’s been too wrapped up with work, and i’ve actually had my head fully in the game. things have been good lately. better than they’ve been in years. nai’s expecting more from me this time, and i wanna give that to her.

could you see why it feels like more than just asking her to a barbecue, though? we’ve been through too much shit, nai’s been my girl—off and on—for so long, and i’m terrified that one wrong move will mess everything up for the millionth time. but the truth is, there’s this voice in the back of my head, too, that says maybe i’m just scared of moving too fast. scared of fucking it up before it’s even had a real chance to settle again.

i chew on my lip, replaying the question in my mind. too soon?

it’s not like we’ve jumped into anything serious, not like we’re picking out furniture or making big promises. it’s just… a barbecue. a weekend with my family, fireworks, a few drinks, nothing crazy.

but then i think of how nai will be here, sitting in my mom’s backyard as she asks her questions and probably throws in how she’s missed her, laughing with my cousins, probably getting more attention than i’d like.

maybe she’ll make it weird. maybe i’ll make it weird. maybe it won’t be weird at all.

i feel like i’m in high school again.

azzi goes to help my mom bring the rest of the groceries in, something i should be doing, but instead, i pull my phone from my chest, opening up my text thread with nai.

nai’s contact photo comes into view—a mirror picture we took months ago, back when things were good for about five minutes. it’s me standing behind her, my arms slung lazily around her waist while my head rests in the crook of her neck. nai’s smiling as wide as she can, and i’m biting my lip like i’m trying to hold back all the shit i’m too stubborn to say out loud. it’s my favorite picture of us, even though it’s just sitting there on her contact like a reminder of how close we can get before everything falls apart.

before this one, it was a picture from high school, back when we were still figuring shit out. nai’s dad had snapped it after we’d spent the whole day swimming at her aunt’s house, worn out and napping on the couch. she was curled into me, her head on my shoulder, one of my arms thrown over her like it was the most natural thing in the world.

our parents didn’t even know we were like that yet. hell, we didn’t even really know either. but it’s funny looking back on it now because the signs were there if you were paying attention. the way her fingers rested on my arm, the way i leaned into her even in my sleep—it was all there. we just hadn’t said it out loud yet.

i huff like a child, pushing my lips out as i try to figure out how to open this without sounding like i’ve been thinking about her all damn day—even though i have.

paige: yo, what’s good? 3:39pm

i atare at the message for half a second, debating whether i should just delete it and come up with something smoother, but then the typing bubble pops up.

nai: hi 3:40pm

what are you here for?

paige: damnnn

you always assume i want somethin

nai: because you always never ‘yo’ me unless you’ve come with a purpose 🤨 3:41pm

so what is it? 3:43pm

God, i’m stalling.

paige: chill i’m gettin there

you got plans for the fourth?

her reply takes a little longer this time, and i can’t tell if it’s because she’s busy or because she’s already figured out where this is going. she always does this—leaves me waiting long enough to start second-guessing myself, and then comes back with something that makes me forget why i was even trippin’ in the first place.

nai: hmm not really. might hang with my usc girls again

why?

paige: because i’m tryna see you

another pause, and my heart does this dumb little skip like i’m not supposed to be used to her by now.

nai: you miss me that bad?

paige: maybe..

nai: well that’s not an answer :///

paige: bro

i miss you like damn

come down here. for the fourth

nai: mhm

whose idea was this? yours or azzi’s?

paige: mine. why it gotta be azzi’s?

nai: because she’s nosy

i let out a short laugh, shaking my head. azzi really does have this habit of wedging herself right into my business. always has. it’s not even malicious—it’s just… azzi. if there’s drama, she’s front row with popcorn. if there’s tea, she’s brewing it herself.

she’s always had a foot in our relationship, even back in high school. she’d be the first to “just check in” whenever nai and i were off, dropping little hints that made it obvious she wanted us back together. or when we were on, reminding us not to fuck it up this time. i’d complain about it, but the truth is she usually wasn’t wrong. annoying as hell, but not wrong.

and now? same azzi, different circumstances.

paige: 😂😂

nah this one’s all me. swear

nai: good. cuz if she’s plotting something, i’m calling her out

paige: pls do. she deserves it

i’m already picturing the way azzi would deny it with that innocent “who, me?” face she loves to use. nai’s seen it enough times to know better.

nai: she over there now?

paige: yeah. prolly eavesdroppin’ rn too

nai: tell her i said hi

paige: tell her yourself when you get here

another pause, longer this time, and i can almost see her chewing on her own lip, debating whether to say what she’s thinking.

nai: you sure it’s not too soon?

i’m suddenly more calm at the fact that we had the same concern. she doesn’t know either. that’s good.

paige: i wouldn’t be askin if i wasn’t sure

nai: alright then. book it

i can’t help the grin spreading across my face. i’m sitting there, rocking my leg side to side, cheesing so hard it feels like my cheeks are gonna hurt. it’s stupid. i’m stupid. but she’s coming, and suddenly the whole day feels lighter. my phone’s still warm in my hand when i toss it onto the cushion and stand up, stretching like all the weight i’ve been carrying around is gone now. i glance toward the kitchen, where my mom’s still fussing with the prep, and call out before i can second-guess myself.

“yo, ma! you still need help?”

the day’s been moving like it’s on autopilot.

nai’s been here for maybe two hours, and i haven’t had her to myself for even two minutes. she slides into any room like she’s been there a hundred times before, gets people talking. my family? eating her up, of course, and i can’t help but hope it’s not too much.

i’ve reintroduced her to people, left her alone, locked eyes with her a few times, trying to check in, the slight furrow of my eyebrows probably saying everything it needed to. you good? is he talking your ear off? do you need a minute? and every single time, she’s shot me this quick look, one that practically shooes me away without a word.

still, i’ve been hovering. not too close, not too obvious, but enough to keep tabs. i’m not trying to micromanage or anything, but it’s hard to just… let go. this is her first time around my family since—well, since before, and even though things are good now, i can’t help but feel like i’ve got something to prove. to her. to them. to myself, maybe.

it feels weird that none of them know the history like we do. i wonder if anyone has prodded to her. i haven’t really said the girlfriend word at all. hell, i haven’t even said the we’re dating words. it isn’t my place to. we’re still tiptoeing around it, letting the familiarity do the talking for us. but there’s a part of me—maybe it’s the nervous, insecure part—that wants someone to ask. i want to know if she’s going to correct them when they ask about “us” or if she’ll just leave it hanging there, like we’re still just two people trying to figure out what the hell we are.

there’s something about the way she fits in, though, that makes me nervous. her smile lights up the yard more than the sun. the way my aunts laughs at her jokes, the way she asks about family trips like she’s genuinely interested… it’s all so natural. like we never went through our messes of breakups. like maya never existed, like we never hurt each other, never said things we couldn’t take back.

i wonder if she feels the same way i do. does she look at me when no one’s paying attention and think about how this feels like we’ve been here before? does she wonder if we can make it work this time, or is she just here for the fun of it? no.

i wish this would’ve crossed my mind before i booked that flight.

i cross my arms, towering over my mom as she hands nai another plate of food to take up to the patio. she’s wearing these shorts that should be illegal, her hair slicked back to perfection to frame her face. she takes the edge of the plate without effort, almost like it’s weightless, flashing my mom this wide smile before turning back.

i watch her go because, honestly, how could i not? i can’t even pretend to focus on anything else, and she must feel my stare burning into her back because she looks over her shoulder just before stepping too far, and turns back around before either of us have a chance to say anything.

“she’s really good with people,” my mom says beside me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“huh?” i look over, caught.

“nai,” she shoots a pointed glance her way, flipping the ribs. “you two must’ve patched things up. she wouldn’t have come all the way out here if you hadn’t.”

i nod, not trusting my voice. my mom knew nai well. she’d been around for so long over the years, she practically had a permanent seat at the table. but still, i didn’t feel like diving into the tangled web of history we’d just barely started to unravel again.

and maybe that was the problem. i wanted to avoid it.

“don’t burn those,” i mumbled, deflecting.

the entire day has been a whirlwind. paige’s mom, her cousins, her friends, everyone’s been so damn friendly i think it was starting to make me dizzy. they’d all treated me like i was already a part of the family. which i guess, technically, i am. in a way. i’ve known them forever. and yet, it feels strange. like i was walking around in a dream, a little too big for my skin.

the house is quieter than before, and it’s late. past eleven. the teasing had started just before we’d headed upstairs for the night. paige’s mom, her husband, paige’s aunts—they all took their turn as we announced we’d be heading up. i didn’t know if they were being funny or if they could sense what had been going on between us all day. it felt like my heart was in my throat every time someone said something that made my cheeks burn.

“better behave up there,” paige’s mom had called out. she hadn’t even looked, too occupied with clean-up. i’d stammered out some sort of half-hearted response, glancing at paige as a plead for help.

she stifled a laugh at me, tightening her grip around the stair railing as i stood next to her awkwardly, waiting for her to say something. i hit her shoulder. “ow! we’re just going to bed, ma. you can go to bed too,” she’d teased back, and i shot mrs. fuller a polite smile before her eager daughter dragged me away with an easy laugh.

this feeling of being caught between the past and whatever was happening now has been eating me alive. it didn’t feel quite like old times, but it didn’t feel like the present, either. maybe that’s why i was so reluctant to come at first, but did it anyway because i just couldn’t say no. paige’s family were too familiar with us, maybe not completely aware of what had been but definitely too hopeful for what could still be. i didn’t know how to balance that out.

when we finally made it up the stairs, all stumbles and giggles, i called dibs on the shower first. paige let up without much complaining, which was unlike her, but i didn’t press it. there was another round of fireworks we’d be missing, but after one yawn, paige yelped out, ‘bedtime.’ she jumped in immediately after me, and when she came out, damp hair falling in waves around her shoulders, my stomach tightened, completely dismissing the fact that i’d usually scold her for going to sleep with wet hair.

it wasn’t just because she looked good—though, God, she did—it was the way everything suddenly felt more real. i’d be sharing a bed with paige tonight. i don’t even know what the fuck we are, and we’re sharing a bed.

she glanced at me, a small smile tugging at her lips as if she already knew what i was thinking. “i’ll let you have the bed.”

i furrow my eyebrows as if that wasn’t the best possible solution. “no way. we can ju—“

“i’m fuckin’ with you, nai,” paige interrupts, and i realize that my nervousness made me forget that her idea wasn’t even possible, there was nowhere else for her to sleep.

“you’re such a disease,” i mumble, and she laughs, untucking the comforter as i zip up my toiletries bag on the dresser, reluctant to turn back around. we’d talked all day like everything was normal. but right now, in this dimly-lit room that feels way too small for the both of us, it feels so much different. it shouldn’t. this should just feel like another round of our cycle, this wasn’t anything new, nailea.

but it sure as hell doesn’t feel like the past, either.

i let out some type of half-huff of my breath, switching off the light and strolling over until i’ve reached my designated side of the bed. the room plunges into a muted darkness, the only light coming from the faint glow of the streetlamp filtering through the curtains. i crawl in next to her, the mattress dipping slightly under my weight, and adjust my pillow, trying to settle.

when i glance at paige, she’s already looking at me. i face my body towards her, there’s something expectant in the way her eyes hold mine, like she’s waiting for me to say something first. it makes me feel like i should.

“what?” i ask, biting back a smirk, trying to read her as best as i can.

paige shrugs. “nothing,” she says, though the small smile tugging at her lips says otherwise. her eyes dip briefly, and when they rise again, they’ve softened completely, like she’s finally thought of the right thing. “i appreciate you comin’ today.”

“it wasn’t a favor,” i reply quickly, shaking my head. “i wanted to.”

her lips press together, and for a moment, she looks almost bashful, her fingers fumbling with the edge of the comforter. “still. you didn’t have to. and after everything… i wasn’t sure you would.”

paige rarely says things like this out loud, and the weight of it isn’t lost on me. the start of the fireworks covers up my silence.

“paige,” i start, but the words catch in my throat. what do you even say to that? i look down, focusing on the way the blanket bunches beneath my hands. “i—”

“i know,” she interrupts gently, her voice so low it almost doesn’t reach me. “i just wanted to say it. you been… good to me today. to them.”

i look at her again, her face partially shadowed yet still so clear to me. i swear i could find paige in a pitch black room with little to no effort. “your mom was good to me first,” i finally say, letting out a breathy laugh. “and your cousins. and az. i think they carried me through it, honestly.”

she grins at that. “once you’re in, you’re in. they been askin’ ‘bout you, too. probably missed you more than me.”

“have they?” i ask, shifting slightly to my back, more to avoid those damn blue hues piercing through me. “because amy was this close to asking if we were getting married tomorrow. and your cousin—i don’t even know his name—asked if i could handle you.”

paige chuckles lowly, and i feel the vibration underneath me. “that sounds about right. you had it, though.”

i snort. “hardly. you just threw me to the wolves.”

“you didn’t need me to babysit you.” she sizes me up again, i see it through my peripheral. “you fit right back in. just like before.”

before. that word feels so heavy. makes me think of things i don’t necessarily want to think about. i close my eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly. “it didn’t feel like before,” i murmur, and there was another breathy laugh, one that was supposed to lighten everything up.

“no,” she agrees after a beat. i feel bad, she sounds a bit quieter now. “it didn’t.”

i don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. i let the silence sit, the noise outside doing its job. i stare at the ceiling as if it’ll hold an answer. it doesn’t, of course. paige rustles next to me, and i can feel her moving, close enough now that i can sense her presence beside me. it’s the closest she’s been all day, and the scent of her shampoo and freshly showered body fills my nostrils. i have no complaints.

her other hand moves then, resting lightly on my stomach, just above the waistband of my shorts. the touch is featherlight, like she’s testing some invisible boundary. i feel her fingers brush the hem of my shirt, but before i can process it fully, she speaks, distracting me.

“i almost told them about the beach,” she says suddenly. “at dinner yesterday, when my mom started bringing up old stories. it just popped in my head.”

it’s so out of left field that i blink, confused and caught off guard by the sudden shift. “you didn’t.”

“‘course not.” she smiles, like the memory amuses her. “would’ve loved to see your face, though.”

i internally roll my eyes, but my body is physically too tuned into the way her her fingers absentmindedly trace circles just above my belly button. i sigh out, keeping my hands to myself, eyes off the blonde.

my mouth has other plans.

“figured you’d already gotten that out of your system.” thankfully, my voice doesn’t waver, and i don’t backtrack either. “y’know, seeing my face like that. thought you got your fill… that night.”

paige’s fingers pause for a half second—just long enough for me to notice—and i choose not to look at her yet. she gets right back to it, tilting her head, her grin turning into something more smug, as she inches her hand lower. before i know it, her pinky is running under the waistband of my panties.

“you mean when you couldn’t keep quiet?”

i inhale sharply. “couldn’t help it,” is all i say. i roll onto my side, and paige’s hand falls to my hip with the moment as my face is now level with hers. she watches me, not saying anything as she moves to lay fully back against the pillow.

i move closer. “night,” i whisper, and i lean in without thinking. my lips brush hers before i press a non-reciprocated kiss against them. her mouth is open in shock as they form into a smirk, her eyes closing as if she’s savoring the moment. she keeps them shut for a few seconds longer after i pull back, like she’s not ready to let the moment go.

“goodnight, nai,” she murmurs, and the say of my name makes my stomach flutter, though i’m sure anything she does could get me weak. and then, before i can even process it, she leans forward, pressing a longer, slower kiss to my lips.

we’re not supposed to be doing this.

i melt into it, my body moving closer to hers instinctively, my hand finding its way to her jaw. “goodnight,” I manage to say when she pulls back, though my breath catches when her lips find mine again, hungrier this time.

“night,” she says back, the word barely audible as we kiss again, a little deeper now, our mouths moving feverishly like we’re both chasing something neither of us is ready to name. her finger runs over my wet lip, continuing against my skin, leaving a trail of saliva.

“night,” i retort between kisses, though the sound is muffled by her lips. she tugs me closer until our bodies are flush against each other, and i swing my leg over hers as if it’ll increase the proximity.

“nai,” she mumbles, breathless.

“hu—h?”

“this isn’t working.”

she’s not even being subtle about it anymore. the way she nuzzles into me, her scent surrounding me, her hand slipping around my back—i can’t stop it anymore. my heart is pounding, like it’s not really sure if it should be beating this fast, but then she pulls back, and i can’t help but chase after her.

“why? what’s wrong?” i furrow my eyebrows, and paige looks down, taking my hand in hers, guiding it between her legs.

i press down. “oh.”

she nods, kissing me again, and i can’t help but fall into it again. i know exactly where this is going, and maybe i should stop it.

i pull back after a moment, my breath shaky. “paige…” i murmur, but she’s already leaning in again just like i was, her lips brushing against mine, this time harder, more urgent.

“we should stop,” i say, but it’s barely a sentence. my voice cracks, and i know i’m not convincing anyone. i kiss her again.

she pulls back, her forehead resting against mine. “okay. yeah, yeah, we should,” she agrees, nodding over and over again like she’s trying to convince herself that’s the best idea right now.

her hand roams, sliding up my shirt, and i can’t keep up, unable to stop my shortness of breath. “paige…”

“i know,” she breathes against my skin. “but you feel so fucking good.”

my eyes flutter open, and it’s like her words have just turned off any sliver of doubt i had. we kiss again, and this time it’s like there’s no turning back. we’re trying so desperately to pull each other closer, every inch of our bodies begging for more, even as we know we should stop.

but we don’t.

the morning sun filters through the curtains, keeping just enough in to keep my eyes open. it doesn’t feel quite like the calm i’d hoped for. i wake up to the sound of muffled voices from downstairs, but i don’t move right away. i lie there, still tangled in the sheets, trying to untangle all the thoughts i didn’t want to think about while i was kissing her.

i should feel happy, right? i should be content. we had an amazing night. hell, the whole day was fucking great. but i feel like i’m walking through something with my eyes closed, waiting for the other shoe to drop. and i can’t shake the feeling that maybe it already has, and i just don’t know it yet.

she isn’t next to me, and the time proves that she couldn’t have been up for long. she won’t ever wake up earlier than nine. the chatter of voices downstairs must be coming from her and someone else, and i can’t help it. i push myself up, one hand pressing into the mattress to steady myself as i slowly swing my legs over the side of the bed. my feet touch the wood, and it’s like a fifty pound weight just settled into my chest. the one that comes from knowing something’s not quite right.

i pull on a sweatshirt and reluctantly make my way down the stairs, my feet dragging just enough to delay the inevitable. they’re in the kitchen. her and her mom. i stop just short of the doorway, hovering, listening.

“… just need to do right by her, you know? i don’t want to mess it up again.”

i stay still, heart in my throat. it dawns on me that we’ve been thinking the same thing. this has been eating her alive too.

“she’s a good girl, paige,” i hear her mom say. “she’s been good to you. don’t take that for granted.”

“i’m not… i’m not trying to, i just—” she sighs, and i can almost feel her frustration. “i want to get it right this time. i want to, ma, but it’s so… complicated.”

it stings a little, hearing her say that. the complication. she gets it, but she’s scared. and i’m scared, too, but i can’t keep pretending i’m okay with only half of her. half her heart. half her attention. half of the person i’ve spent too much time loving.

her voice filters through the kitchen, still soft, as she continues talking to her mom. “i don’t wanna lose her again. i can’t do that, not after everything we been through. but i don’t know how to get back to how it was before.”

i close my eyes for a second, leaning against the doorframe. it won’t be like it was before, because we’re way past that. when i enter the kitchen, i find paige sitting at the table, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee that she doesn’t even drink. she looks up at me, a little guilty. “hey.”

i smile, though it doesn’t reach my eyes. “morning.” i sit down across from her.

paige’s mom is still bustling around, humming to herself, seemingly unaware of the undercurrent of our conversation.

“mom, can you give us a sec?” paige asks. she keeps her head down, and i tap my nails against the counter, almost impatiently. there’s so much i could say.

her mom raises an eyebrow but nods, giving us both a knowing smile before heading out of the room. when the door clicks shut behind her, the silence takes over, a sound i’m seriously beginning to hate.

“so…” paige begins, but she doesn’t finish. she just watches me, her eyes searching mine like she’s waiting for me to speak.

i squint at her, letting the silence sit for a second longer before i finally break. “you’re not all in.”

paige blinks, her face falling slightly. “what? nai, come on, that’s not fair—”

i shake my head, holding up a hand to stop her. “no. i heard what you said. not all of it, but enough.” i swallow hard, forcing myself to stay calm, even though my heart feels like it’s about to explode. “you’re not ready to give me everything. and that’s okay. i get it—i do. but i’m not going to keep being part of some half-assed version of us.“

i can feel my pulse quicken, but i push on, needing her to understand. “i’m not asking for everything right this second, but if we do this again, paige… no more half-steps, no more holding back. it’s got to be real. for both of us.”

paige’s eyes flicker with something so unreadable it makes me nervous. she doesn’t say anything. she just watches me, her brow furrowed as if she’s trying to figure out how to respond. her silence leaves me questioning whether i’ve said too much or not enough.

i keep going, my voice a little quieter now. “take a couple of days, or however long you need. think about it.“

i wait for her response, but it doesn’t come immediately. and in the stillness, i almost feel like i’ve made a mistake. like i’m asking for too much, too soon, like maybe i’m pushing her too far. but when i look at her—really look at her—i know this is the only thing that makes sense.

“i’ll be here,” i add with a slight shrug. “whenever you’re ready to talk. but if i can’t work with all of you, then i’m done.”

paige visibly winces. “i know,” she says after a long moment, her voice barely above a whisper. “i know.”

and just like that, i feel it—this weight lifting off my chest, but it’s not relief. not yet. it’s just the knowledge that i’ve said what i needed to say. the ball’s in her court now. it’s her poison to pick.

[dhr-ao3]

I Solemnly Swear that I ... (You Already Know Babe)

I Solemnly Swear that I ... (You Already Know, Babe) https://ift.tt/4dkWqvI by heartsoncover, lemonlans, mercurialwitch, multiimoments, shewritesmaybe, TTPDmods, wolfpad Fred Weasley gets an invitation to a Board Meeting for the Tortured Poets Department. Once he's there, what will he find? or A love letter from the mods of The Tortured Poets Fest to all our participants! We're down bad for what you've created, and have had the best few months sharing this with you. Congratulations on all your great work, and enjoy the reveals! Words: 2180, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi Characters: Fred Weasley, Voldemort (Harry Potter), Mary Macdonald (Harry Potter) Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Teddy Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter & Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Regulus Black/James Potter, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Album: The Tortured Poets Department (Taylor Swift) via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/bIfMhKc July 01, 2024 at 08:26AM