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yeolsaintlaurent · 1 year ago

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Crimson Veins, Midnight Flames ch.1 [BBH]

pairing - baekhyun x fem reader

genre - mature, smut, thriller

themes - Social Divide, Ambition and Privilege, Dark Desires, Identity and Self-Discovery, Love triangle, Sex, Mystery and Gothic Elements

Synopsis - Explore the intricate world of Oxford University, where Baekhyun, a scholarship student, intertwines with the wealthy elite led by Sehun Oh and Y/N Van der Bilt. Against the backdrop of seductive parties and concealed love, the tale unfolds at the grand Ivy Crest Estate in the picturesque town of Willowbrook. Here, secrets and power plays unravel, revealing a collision between societal expectations and personal truths, with gothic nuances weaving through the rich tapestry of privilege and deceit. This is where the heart of the story beats, echoing with the footsteps of characters entwined in a dance of love, betrayal, and hidden mysteries.

A/N - Hi my lovelies~ I am so so so excited to be sharing this new series with you guys. Ever since I watched Saltburn at the cinema, I had wanted to write a fic inspired by it. As always, let me know what you guys think about my new series. <3

Chapter 1: Freshman Impressions

The air at Oxford University was alive with anticipation as freshmen flooded the campus, eager faces filled with excitement and trepidation. Banners fluttered in the crisp autumn breeze, welcoming the newcomers to a journey of knowledge and self-discovery. The courtyards were abuzz with freshmen finding their way, guided by the hopeful energy that marked the beginning of their academic adventure.

Baekhyun, clad in his drab attire, navigated through the sea of unfamiliar faces with wide-eyed wonder. His jet-black hair, styled in an old-fashioned way, hinted at his reserved personality. The banners overhead welcomed the freshmen, but Baekhyun felt like a stranger in a foreign land, an outcast amidst the throngs of students who seemed to effortlessly find their place.

As he lugged his bags, Baekhyun's gaze wandered, taking in the vibrant atmosphere. He saw students with smiles that mirrored the banners' enthusiasm, groups forming friendships that would last a lifetime, and laughter that echoed through the courtyards. His introverted nature left him feeling like an observer on the fringe of a world that he yearned to belong to.

The first day unfolded like a whirlwind, a cascade of introductions, campus tours, and the overwhelming realization that the journey ahead was as daunting as it was promising. Baekhyun, however, found himself struggling to connect with anyone. Ignored and brushed off when seeking directions to his dormitory, he felt the weight of his scholarship status more acutely than ever.

Upon reaching his dorm room, Baekhyun peered out of the window overlooking the courtyard, a view that would become a daily spectacle. It was there, amidst the crowd, that he saw Y/N for the first time. Her uber fashionable outfit, designer bag and shoes, and captivating beauty drew his attention like a moth to a flame. She stood with her friends chatting away, a cigarette in hand, an embodiment of the privilege that seemed so distant from his own reality.

Despite the magnetic pull he felt toward Y/N, Baekhyun remained introverted and nervous. He watched her from a distance, his silent admiration painting a picture of unspoken desire. The window-sill overlooking the courtyard became his silent refuge, and Y/N's presence, a beacon of aspiration in his mundane world.

The University's welcome reception dinner, a grand affair filled with chatter and clinking cutlery, brought Baekhyun face-to-face with the stark realities of his social standing. Most seats were occupied, and the few attempts to find a place were met with dismissive glances. Eventually settling into a solitary spot, Baekhyun's solitude was interrupted by Chanyeol.

"Hey mate, mind if I sit here?" Chanyeol asked, already pulling out a chair opposite to him.

Baekhyun, surprised by the friendly gesture, nodded. "Uh, sure. Go ahead."

Chanyeol flashed a friendly grin as he settled into the chair. "I'm Chanyeol, Chanyeol Park. What's your major?"

"Baekhyun Byun," he replied, still adjusting to the social interaction. "Psychology."

"Sound choice!" Chanyeol exclaimed. "I'm going for Business Administration. Got big shoes to fill as the family heir and all that."

The grand hall echoed with the chatter of students, and the vibrant atmosphere contrasted with Baekhyun's more reserved demeanor. As Chanyeol animatedly shared stories, the world around Baekhyun seemed to fade into the background, and his undecipherable expressions spoke volumes.

Chanyeol, with his outgoing personality, remained oblivious to the intricacies playing out in Baekhyun's mind. The topic veered towards Y/N as Baekhyun's gaze occasionally flickered toward her table, a subtle yet persistent attraction that Chanyeol noticed with a knowing smirk.

"I see where your interests lie," Chanyeol teased, nudging Baekhyun with a playful grin. Baekhyun responded with a nonchalant shrug, but his expressions betrayed a depth of emotion that went beyond mere acknowledgment.

Leaning in conspiratorially, Chanyeol continued his narrative. "That one there, whispering sweet nothings in her ear? That's Sehun Oh. Summered in Spain together after sixth form, so they're practically inseparable now."

Chanyeol, always eager to share insights, revealed another layer to the story. "Sehun and I are good mates. Our fathers are business partners, and I've been a frequent guest at the Van der Bilt family galas at their estate," he confided in Baekhyun, unaware of the internal turmoil brewing within the quieter companion.

With each word, Chanyeol's extroverted energy almost felt like an intrusion for Baekhyun, who continued to listen to the endless stream of information about Sehun and Y/N. The dynamics between the trio unfolded in the narratives Chanyeol wove, and Baekhyun's expressions served as a silent canvas for emotions that ran deeper than the surface suggested.

Two weeks later :

The day of the first assessments arrived, and Baekhyun, armed with a sharp mind and a focused determination, emerged from the exam hall. The sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows across the bustling courtyard. As the other students dispersed, Baekhyun, oblivious to the world around him, made his way to the nearest notice board. The anticipation of upcoming exams lingered, and he scrutinized the posted details for any schedule changes or possible rearrangements of exam halls.

Lost in the sea of information, Baekhyun suddenly became aware of a commotion nearby. A voice, soft but urgent, reached his ears, seeking a graphing calculator amidst the departing students. He hesitated, not wanting to be drawn into the social currents that flowed around him. The solitary pursuit of knowledge called to him, urging him to retreat to the quiet confines of his dorm room for a session of solitary reading.

A tap on his shoulder shattered his reverie, and Baekhyun turned, finding himself face-to-face with the very object of his admiration—Y/N. Time seemed to freeze, and he felt a strange mixture of elation and nervousness as she stood before him. Her flustered demeanor and earnest expression captivated him, momentarily blurring the lines between his introverted world and the vibrant social tapestry around him.

Y/N, with a hint of desperation in her voice, asked if he had a spare graphing calculator. She explained that she needed it for her upcoming exam and had forgotten her own. Baekhyun, still in the grip of surprise, felt his hands instinctively reaching into his corduroy messenger bag. Without uttering a word, he handed her the calculator, a simple yet profound act of kindness.

The transformation in Y/N's expression was instantaneous. Gratitude and happiness radiated from her as she clutched the calculator in her hands. In a burst of genuine emotion, she planted a quick but heartfelt kiss on Baekhyun's cheek, catching him completely off guard. Before he could fully comprehend the moment, she enveloped him in a warm hug, expressing her thanks.

"I'll get it back to you! Thank you so much!!" her voice echoed behind her as she sprinted towards her exam hall. Baekhyun stood there, frozen for a moment longer, the weight of the unexpected encounter lingering in the air. The courtyard resumed its rhythm, but for Baekhyun, a simple act of generosity had set in motion a chain of events of social dynamics and hidden desires.

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xerceii · 1 year ago

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God’s Eye - PART 1 & 2

Pairing: Chanyeol/OC

Genre: Fantasy, Action, romance

TW/Warnings: 18+ included some gore, a scene with vomit, violence, murder, smut in future chapters, multiple sexual conversations, religious talk relating to God and the devil

Plot: Ahn Jung is a 25 year old office worker who underwent eye transplant surgery, she never thought that the donor would be a demon.

Note:

Testing to see if I want to start posting fics on tumblr again or continue linking to other sites 🤔 so here’s part 1 and 2 combined to test the waters

Click here for master post

___________

The faint beeping of the machine was the only sound she could hear for a while. It kept a slow rhythmic pace that mimicked her heart rate. It was insufferable. The endless sound reminded her that she was alive yet couldn't do anything but wait. Leaving her to her own thoughts... or so she thought-

Ahn could see images behind closed lids. They were fast and few but she saw them. Flashes of fire, of an old city she didn't recognize and even faces. Faces so beautiful she wondered exactly where this place was?

But... she could see.

Finally she was told to sit up. Ahn sat up and felt the bandages around her eyes loosen and unwrap. The doctor told her specific instructions which she didn't hear... No, she was too busy being nervous. Her heart pounded and her hands started clamming. What if her body rejected the donor? What if something had gone wrong and she can see even less than before? Or what if she looked funny now? They had told her the eye color would change. She didn't want that. She was Ahn, the girl with the pretty brown eyes that let everyone know it was okay to approach her.

That let everyone know she wouldn't judge them. She'd want to be their friend. Soft brown eyes like the color of Christmas pine trees, or fallen autumn leaves. That's the way her mom had described them. She always loved that description. It made her feel as if just by looking into her eyes.... You could smell cinnamon and taste eggnog.

You couldn't now.

The sound of cameras clicking brought her out of her depressing trance. The bandages were off, glasses immediately placed on her eyes.

"I wanted to see them!" Her mother whined.

"You can later on." The doctor explained. "After a while she'll be able to wear clear glasses, but she'll need an eye shield for now."

"Did they actually change?"

"Yes." The doctor sounded almost embarrassed to admit it as if he had any way of stopping that process. Obviously he didn't. "They're a clear blue now."

Her parents gasped and she gripped the bedsheets.

Oh well.

It wouldn't look good on her but at least she's going to have better vision now.

Ahn looked around the room. The glasses dimmed the lighting and it was still a bit blurry but she could tell there was a difference. A huge one actually. Things were their actual distance, the outline of everything could be seen and faces- everyone's faces were distinct, though the blurriness would take it away every so often. It had worked though. It made her hopeful. It brought her back to normal. Ahn jumped up and everyone panicked fearing she might fall over.

"I'm fine." Her hand raised to stop anyone from grabbing her. "Better than fine actually, It worked!"

"You'll be a bit sore for the next few days. You should take it easy."

She nodded and stretched. Ahn didn't know how long she had been under the knife but her body definitely did. It was cramped and stiff in all the worst areas. She needed to move her legs, start walking or running or whatever. Letting out a groan, she smiled at everyone who was looking at her. Which was everyone in the room. "I'll be fine, I just want to get out of here. I'm good to leave right?"

"Technically yes." The doctor frowned. "As long as you follow the instructions."

She nodded not really knowing any of them. "I will! I'll get a paper for them though, right?"

He nodded and she didn't need to hear anymore. Ahn walked out of the hospital room in her gown, happy to just get out of there. She hated standing still, she hated doing nothing. It was weird but she wanted to dance. Her socks slid against the hospital's smooth white floor. It wasn't exactly dancing but it was the most she could do without being labeled crazy.

Ahn took the stairs, even skipping some of the last ones and jumping off. This was going to be great, she could finally see better which meant Requiem might take her back... hopefully. If she talked to Baekhyun, he might let her.

Leaving through the exit doors, Ahn walked up to the receptionist desk. "Ahn Jung."

"Just Ahn?" The woman at the front desk looked at her weirdly. Ahn nodded, not wanting to explain that her parents became lazy trying to name her and settled on a last name for a first name. It was a never-ending fight between them. While the computer clicked away looking for her information, Ahn suddenly felt light headed. Maybe she had pushed herself too far.

Her eyes hurt too.

"Ma'am are you okay?"

What?

"Ahn!" She heard her mother somewhere very far away.

Nope. She was right beside her on the ground. When did she even fall?

Shit. Shit. Shit. Everyone was rushing towards her. Her eyes closed and they felt a little better. A flash of the city from before lit behind her eyes. This time she saw walls that once were probably cream in color, the intricate roof work and paint all destroyed. The sky above was red and loomed over her like some kind of warning. It was terrifying but she kept looking at the image. Her body was picked up.

"She'll have to stay a couple more hours just in case." Her doctor explained.

No...

She couldn't keep doing nothing. Ahn couldn't keep laying down. It was torture. "I'll be fine-" she groaned. "I can't keep laying down! How long was it anyways? A day? Two days!?"

"Dramatic as always Ahn." Her mother shook her head. "The surgery was only an hour."

Oh.

She felt her face flush at the embarrassment at that and let herself be carried back towards her room. Her head tilted back and she opened her eyes slowly. There was a crowd watching her, but one in particular stood out. A tall man with pink hair and a ridiculous fuzzy pink coat. That wasn't what stood out though, it was his expression, he was glaring at her. He looked like he was close to throwing the chair next to him at her. His brows were furrowed and his eyes wide.

Damn what did I do? She thought, closing her eyes. Maybe it wasn't towards her. She heard the ding of the elevator and the doors closing. Her feet twitched wanting to walk again.

Go to sleep...

it'll make time go by faster.

So she did. From the mix of pain and embarrassment, Ahn was able to fall asleep during the elevator ride.

______

When she awoke it was nighttime. Ahn didn't know until she took off the stupid eye covers and replaced them with her tinted glasses. She had been strapped down so she would be forced to sleep upright. They hadn't done it hard enough to make it impossible to move, just so her sleeping form wouldn't shift around.

Tugging on one end undid the straps on her arms, they quickly fell to the side. Putting on the glasses, she looked around.

The hospital room was dark and her parents were gone. They probably decided she was fine enough to spend the night alone. The only light that creeped in was from the moon itself, and all the machines hooked up to her. It was a plain old hospital room, yet why did it look creepier at night? The wooden closet used for storage was opened by an inch and it felt like she was being watched. There was no light outside in the hallway either. Her belongings had been thrown on the visitors chairs so she could dress.

Ahn sat up, untying her feet and hopping down. The floor was cold despite it being summer. The AC cranked up too high. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and walked towards her clothes. It's the same ones she had arrived in today. A pair of jeans and an old T-shirt she didn't mind if it got lost or dirty. It was a T-shirt that had been with her since middle school, also her favorite black sandals. Her hands reached towards her back to take off the hospital gown but stopped.

The closet... it really felt like she was being watched.

Her eyes shifted towards the bed. Maybe she could call a nurse in. Press the button and not be alone anymore. The glasses shifted down to her nose and she had to push them up. No. There's probably no one in there. That'd be two times she'd embarrass herself. The closet door creaked beside her.

Only darkness showed inside. It didn't help that these stupid glasses darkened everything even more. She wanted to take them off, but she shouldn't. Ahn sighed and walked towards the wardrobe. Her hands pressed lightly against the open door.

What if there was someone inside?

Biting her bottom lip, she opened it. If there was someone inside, well her legs were probably faster than theirs. She was good at running and dodging and anything that included movement and physical activity. All those years of sports and dancing would pay off.

The door swung open, hitting the wall in the process. Inside it-

Was nothing.

Just an empty wardrobe with a couple of hangers and towels in case she wanted to shower. Someone must have left them for her and accidentally forgot to close it completely. Ahn gasped in relief, bringing her hand to her chest. Thank god. It would have sucked to have to run from someone at this time of night.

She was suddenly thirsty.

As if fear itself dehydrated her.

Walking towards her bag, she pulled out two dollars and left her room. The hallways were completely dark but at the end of them the vending machines were on. If she turned another corner after them there would be the emergency stairs and the elevators. Civilization. Maybe she could go downstairs and hang out at the cafeteria. No, it was probably closed.... The lobby then, she could people watch and maybe find a nurse or someone to talk to.

Ahn stepped in front of the vending machine looking at her choices. Chips, sodas, water bottles, candy....

Candy. She grinned and put in the first dollar, quickly getting the one that had the most chocolate. Then, got herself a drink. A coke. She needed sweets and junk right now, especially after that scare.

Her items fell and she bent down to grab them from the tray with a loose door. That's when she noticed a pair of pale feet beside her. Ahn looked up to see a boy looking down at her. He was blonde, blue eyed, around her height so not exactly tall for a man. He was pretty though.

"Sorry I didn't mean to stand so close!" He backed up a couple steps away. "I was just curious to see what'd you'd get."

Ahn smiled, taking out her things. "It's fine, I get curious about things like that too." She straightened up showing him her coke and chocolate bar. He nodded, seeming happy that she wasn't rude to him. Ahn moved out of the way so he could get something himself.

He got the same exact things.

"It's better to eat junk food with another person." He grinned. His hair was long enough to reach his shoulders and he was skinny. She could see the bones of his shoulder blades even through his hospital gown. His eyes had dark circles under them and his nose was pretty.

"Cool look you're sporting by the way." He unwrapped his candy and started eating.

"Huh? Oh." Ahn laughed, touching her glasses. "Eye transplant surgery. I got out today but decided to push it and ended up earning myself a couple more hours in this shit hole."

"Transplant?!" He gaped. "Did it hurt?"

Ahn shook her head. "Not really, but they hurt afterwards. They're sore and feel a bit dry."

He nodded. "You have to put in the eye drops. They'll help the recovery."

She sighed and decided to sit down. Her back pressed against the wall while the boy took the spot beside her. The vending machine flickered indicating it was old, and probably only a year away from giving out. Her feet were a lot bigger than his.... Not in length but... the weight of them. Hers looked pretty healthy, while his were as bony as his shoulders.

They looked frail, weak.

"If I'm rude feel free to smack me-" Ahn started. "But why are you here?"

"Me?" The boy asked, drinking from his coke. He leaned his head back as if trying to decide how to tell her. "To put it simply-" His skeletal hand touched his chest. "Heart failure."

"I- that must have been difficult." Ahn frowned. She couldn't imagine herself not being able to move around. To be limited to just the walls of this hospital. Her hands gripped the can of coke. It crackled under the pressure. She had it good. There was no room for complaining. She wanted to kick herself for her antics earlier.

"You know-" The boy laughed quietly. "You're the first person who hadn't told me they're sorry."

"Was that bad?!" She panicked. He shook his head immediately, stopping her from actually doing it.

"No! No. It was nice. It's all I ever heard so... it's a nice change in pace. Yes it is difficult, but an apology won't do anything." He finished his drink and continued snack time by finishing his chocolate. Ahn frowned, not happy with his situation. He seemed like a good guy. People don't deserve this.

"Did you know them?" He asked.

"Know who?"

"Your donor."

She shook her head. "No. It was anonymous. They didn't want their information to be given out." Ahn grabbed the boys empty can and wrapper, standing up, she went to throw them away in the trash can near the vending machine.

"Thanks."

"It's nothing." She waved it away and sat back down. The flickering started again and Ahn decided to finally drink her coke. Pulling the tab, she smiled hearing the click. A fresh coke, they always tasted so good. The fizzy drink touched her tongue and fell down her throat, calming the nerves she still had from the closet incident.

The boy looked at her. Blue eyes seeming to become more lifeless. They were clouded over as if he were in a weird daze. "Do you believe in heaven?"

Ahn stopped drinking. "Maybe?"

"I do." He muttered his voice was now soft and thoughtful. "Heaven and hell. Good and bad."

She looked at him and he held his heart again, blonde locks falling over his eyes. "I want to go to heaven. I don't have much time left but... I want to do everything possible so that I can get into heaven."

"I'm sure you will." She muttered with a mouthful of chocolate. "You seem like a good guy."

"How old are you?" He asked her.

"Twenty five."

"I'm seventeen."

Ouch. He was young. Ahn finished her own food and went to throw them away. When she turned back, the boy was standing. He looked like he was about to fall over. His palm was placed against the wall.

"Do you need help going back to your room?" She hurried towards him.

He shook his head, breaths coming out shallow. "I want to show you my favorite place here. Do you want to come?"

"Sure, but do you think you can make it?"

He nodded. "If you help me I can. It's been a while since I've made a friend. I don't want to go to bed yet."

Ahn smiled at the friend comment, also happy to be using some sort of strength again. She wrapped her arms around the boys and carried half his weight. Which wasn't much. He held on tightly as he told her the directions to go in. First into the elevator and to the top floor, then turn to the right hall, the left led to the rooftop but the right- she didn't know. She had never been here.

There were a couple more rooms up here, mainly the more expensive ones that VIP patients would want. There was also an abandoned desk, some closets for equipment-

"There-" The boy pointed. His breathing had become worse. Ahn made sure to carry more of him now. He definitely wouldn't have been able to make it this far without her. He pointed towards the far end, the last room left. Room 999. They walked up to it and she turned the knob.

It was an old hospital room just like any other. Except the windows were huge here. Most of the walls were windows. The moonlight bathed the entire place in its glow. The floor was cement which was probably one of the reasons it had been abandoned. There was also a bathtub in the middle, it was outdated. Probably from fifty years ago. The hoses and handles had been ripped off but she could see they used to be gold. Whatever hadn't broken off indicated that.

On the ground lay arrangements of different hospital robes and equipment. She almost tripped over a stethoscope.

"Careful-" He told her. "There's abandoned needles here."

Then why would we go here?! She thought, regretting everything. These stupid glasses. They didn't help anything. Ahn took him towards the windows at the farthest end of the room, he gasped, falling to his knees. He pointed north and her eyes widened. From the rooftop you could only see the city. From here, you could see the mountains, the line of trees and the clouds that barely touched them. The moon seemed closer here too. It was beautiful.

Ahn pressed her face towards the glass, taking it all in. So so so beautiful. Why didn't she realize how close the forest was from this hospital? She needed to take a hike down there. Maybe even a run. It would be good if Requiem wanted to shoot some dance videos here too. Maybe this boy can meet them, have some friends before he... she stopped the thought.

"I never did ask you your name." Ahn turned to look down at him. He sat cross legged staring at the entrance of the door. "Gabriel." He whispered.

Biblical. That would explain his need to go to heaven. He was religious. Or raised in a religious household. Ahn nodded. "It's a cool name."

He wasn't paying attention to her anymore. She followed his gaze towards the door.

Her heart dropped.

The blood in her veins ran cold.

Two men in black robes were chaining up the door. Another was putting something in the bathtub. A cross. He was putting a silver cross in the bathtub.

Ahn stood up, putting herself in front of Gabriel. "What the hell are you doing?" Her voice came out more nervous than expected. They ignored her finishing up the door. Ahn looked around, there was no other way to escape. Even breaking the window wouldn't work. It was a long fall and they would die. They were trapping them, and no one traps another person for a good reason. This was bad. Very bad. Every hair of hers stood as if her body was trying to warn her of what she already knew.

"Answer me!" She shrieked at them. They didn't. There was a pipe bar next to her, she was going to defend herself with it but- Ahn took off the glasses, throwing them aside. She needed to see better. It was cloudy but it was better than her original eyesight. She could see everything on the ground, and see in actual color instead of the brownish hue the glasses gave her.

It was risky for her eyes but... they needed to get out of here. Ahn could face the consequences later. "Gabriel-" She whispered. "Can you run?"

Gabriel looked up at her. "No."

Shit.

"Here's what I'll do, I'll try to knock as many as I can down with that pipe over there. I'm strong so it should be easy. You go and unchain the door. If you get it open, run. Go find help. I'll be behind."

Gabriel frowned at her. "You'd protect me?"

Would she? The answer was yes but she was scared to. She had never been put in a situation like this before. Ahn was agile. Good on her feet. She'd give it her all. Taking a deep breath, she readied herself. "On three-" She told him quietly.

The men in black robes all turned to her as if they heard. That's fine. That's fine. Even better. They turned their attention on her and when she got the weapon they'd panic and try to take it from her. They would ignore Gabriel unchaining the door and they could get out of this.

"One."

"Two."

"She's going to grab the pipe! Stop her!" Gabriel shouted.

Ahn turned to look at him in shock. She didn't have time to be heartbroken by the betrayal. She dived towards it while they all had a two second start to get it from her. Ahn was closer, she grabbed the pipe and swung violently, managing to hit one of them. He fell back.

Keep going!

Ahn swung and spun herself in a circle so it was harder to grab her, all while walking towards the door.

No use. They were smart. One managed to grab it from her and it almost knocked her down. He threw the pipe away and it clattered, crashing into a box full of old syringes. Ahn took off running. They chased after her and she bent down to grab a couple needles. She threw them their way and they dodged.

The needles almost hit Gabriel instead and he covered his face with his arms. He looked angry now. Not like the sweet boy she had been talking to for the past forty minutes. Ahn was crying out of fear. It burned her eyes to do so. In fact, her vision was getting worse now. There was little time left before they gave out.

Ahn threw more needles and anything that was dangerous enough to be hit with. Finally she passed the bathtub, it had been filled with red liquid. Crosses floated at the top. It sent a ripple of fear through her so strong that her feet faltered. She had to grip the edge of the bathtub to keep from falling.

Pulling herself up, Ahn kept going until she made it towards the door. Her hands fumbled on the chains trying to find where it started and where it ended. It was no use. A labyrinth of metal that couldn't be undone unless you had an axe.

Or a key.

There was probably a key on one of them. Five figures ran towards her. The sixth was still on the floor crying from the pain she had caused.

Quickly scanning all five people, Ahn saw what she needed. All of them had crosses around their necks except one. He had a key. Pushing herself off the door for more momentum, Ahn turned around and ran back towards Gabriel. They all seemed confused by the action. Good. Gabriel stared wide eyed as she picked up a needle, and slid towards him. The cement burned and scarred her knees, scraping off skin in the process. It didn't matter. It was the fastest way.

Ahn wrapped an arm around Gabriel's thin figure, pressing the tip of the needles on his neck. "Stop or I'll kill him!"

She wouldn't. She couldn't. She hoped they couldn't tell her bluff. The five figures stopped in front of them gasping for air. Her knees ached, but worst of all... her eyes. Her eyes burned. It was over. They were clouding over. They were too dry. Ahn had done everything she wasn't supposed to do.

To her dismay, Gabriel nodded, his head bowing low. "It's okay. I'm going to die anyway. Get her."

Ahn dropped the needle while they all started closing in again. She couldn't escape. Her eyes weren't capable of crying anymore. They all grabbed her and she let out an ear deafening scream. A dozen of them actually. Ahn thrashed in their arms, begging for them to let go of her. They didn't.

They were going to kill her. Or kidnap her? Or something bad.

"Please!" She begged. "Someone help me!"

No one came. Why was no one coming!? Her legs kept kicking trying to free herself from their hold but it was no use. They took her towards the bathtub and dropped her roughly inside. She was met with thick red water and crosses that dug into her spine as her body hit the bottom of the tub.

The sixth robed person came over, helping them hold her down. She couldn't breathe. Her body begged for more oxygen. Ahn gasped for air as they held her head. Water kept coming inside. No, not water. The taste was too thick. Too metallic. Oh god.

No.

No. No. No.

It was blood. She was in blood. She shrieked again, the sound gurgling with the blood entering her. "Stay still!" One of them yelled at her. Gabriel came up behind them and Ahn glared at him. As much as she could. Her eyes couldn't see much anymore. It was burning too. The blood burned the surface of her skin. Her body soon became too overheated and she didn't see any scarring but it felt like there would be if she stayed any longer.

"Start now!" One of them yelled.

"Help!" Ahn cried, getting a small towel shoved in her mouth in the process.

A man stood up and took out what seemed to be a Bible. "We are here to exorcise a poor victim of possession. May the heavens help us!"

Victim? Possession? Heaven?

Ahn screamed but it was only muffled by the towel. She panted instead, wishing she could've seen her friends one last time. Wishing she could've danced one last time. She wished for a lot of things actually. She should've been nicer to her parents. Should've invited them to her new apartment more.

"Help!" Ahn screamed but it didn't sound like anything.

"Stop screaming! All the ones on this floor are in on it." Gabriel spoke quietly. "It's to help you. Your donor... he was possessed before he died. The demon stayed in the eyes you have now. Stay still and we can help you."

"Fuck off!" Ahn cursed at him.

"The members of the church had been keeping close tabs on them. When they disappeared we noticed it's because they had been picked for your surgery. You were the only one who received one today."

"I don't care! I don't care! I don't care!" Ahn kept repeating, hating the way the blood burned. The man in front of her kept saying words of heaven and hell, god and angels. She couldn't hear through her own screaming. There had to be at least one person in this damn hospital who decided to check on the top floor. Just one good Samaritan.

"May the power of Christ compel you!" He shouted. There it was. That famous line that had been overused in horror movies. Ahn kept crying. "May the demon that rests on your shoulders show itself and repent for its sins!"

And then there was fire.

PART 2 - All a dream… Maybe?

Pure lines of blazing hot fire spread across the room. Like slithering snakes they circled around everyone. No, not snakes. It was a tornado of fire. It was unbearably hot and despite being in a tub full of blood, Ahn was already sweating. Outside the ring she could see that the flames weren't touching anything else.

Only focusing on them.

She kept screaming, but it wasn't only her who was screaming now. The robed men were yelling. Their clothes were on fire. They all let go of her trying to put it out. One shoved her out of the bathtub so he could get in and put out the inferno that currently devoured his body. Ahn met the ground roughly, her body ached but she was able to take out the towel from her mouth.

Gabriel fell on his ass beside her, he started sobbing and backing away as if he'd just seen a ghost. Ahn turned around to see there was a new person there with them.

A man.

"Ahh. You're the ones who invited me yet you're treating me like this?" He crossed his arms. "That's not very nice is it?"

All her attackers had been able to put out the fire on them. Now they wailed and shielded themselves from him as if he was going to kill them all. Wait, she had seen him before. Ahn took in his features again. Pink hair, tall, except instead of the ridiculous coat he was wearing a striped turtleneck and a leather jacket this time.

"I should teach you all a lesson. What is this your fourth time trying to exorcise me?"

The man met her eyes and smiled, a small dimple showing on his cheek. "But time is of the essence. We need to go."

Ahn couldn't speak. Her throat burned from all yelling she had already done. The man ran up to her and picked her up easily, as if she weighed close to nothing. "Oh guess you'll be needing these too-" He held onto her with one hand while picking up her glasses with the other.

And then-

He jumped out the window, breaking it in the process with his shoulders. Ahn screamed a hoarse dry sound coming out of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. Glass shards fell around them as they fell. There's no way they were going to survive the fall. Her stomach flipped at the drop and her mind stopped working.

He laughed a low deep chuckle before she felt a large shove and a brand new unsettling feeling. It wasn't falling. They weren't falling anymore. Her hair was being plastered down. They were going... sideways? Ahn kept holding onto him, but decided to open her eyes a little. The world was nothing but a blur, but she could make out trees. They were going towards the forest.

How?

"Can I tell you something?" The guy asked.

She couldn't answer. Her voice was gone. Death. Death was all she could think about.

"Ahh...To be honest-" He continued. "I don't know how to land with someone in my arms."

As if on cue, Ahn felt them land roughly on the ground. The grip on her body tightened and he took the worst of it, using himself as a landing pad. Her head slammed against his chest and then was thrown off of him. Ahn didn't have time to call for help, crashing into the forest floor, her body rolled a couple times before she was able to stop. Pine needles and sticks poked her bare arms and her knees... she didn't even want to think of the state of them.

The man groaned beside her and her body went into a fit of violent coughs that only resulted in her throwing up soon after. Her vomit was red and brown from the chocolate earlier and the blood.

It was hot out here. Summer was always so hot even in the forest. Ahn wiped her mouth and tried standing up but the guy was faster. He shoved her back on the ground, rolling her so she was on her back. "Aish you seriously need to take care of my eyes better." He frowned, taking out eye drops from his pocket.

Ahn was too tired to fight it. He opened her eyes, letting a couple drops fall in. It hurt. A lot. Ahn tried shoving him away but he was stronger. "Unless you want to go back to the hospital, I suggest letting me help you."

The hospital. With that cult. No thank you. She calmed down, and the man wiped her eyes softly with the back of his sleeve. Finally he put on her glasses and groaned, falling beside her. "Stay like that for a while. It's better to be on your back during recovery."

The sky above them was dark and cloudy. You couldn't see the moon from down here. It was covered. "Who are you?" Ahn asked, wincing at her grandma voice. It sounded aged and raspy.

"Chanyeol?" He said it in the form of a question.

"Are you not sure or are you asking me if I'm Chanyeol?"

He sat up. "Interesting."

"What is?"

He sighed, clapping his hands once. "Do you know how to get home from here?"

"No!" Ahn tried sitting up but he narrowed his eyes warning her not to move. She continued laying down. "I don't but I can Uber."

"Uber what the hell is that?"

He didn't know?

"I can pay someone to drive me." She explained. "Through an app but-" A defeated sigh escaped her. "My phone was in my room."

"What's a phone?" His brows furrowed, looking impatient.

Was he pranking her? Ahn stood up, ignoring his warnings. "You know? To call someone? To text them?"

He blinked. "Oh a telephone."

"Yes. I need my telephone." The word sounded weird. No one used it anymore. Ahn coughed again and Chanyeol looked around.

"They were close to exorcising me this time." He ran a hand through his hair. "Ah, to put the blood of a lamb with holy water was a smart move."

At least it hadn't been a human then. Ahn decided she could live with it for now. She looked at her dirty arms, underneath the blood and mountain dirt she could see they were red. "Why did it burn me?"

"Because you're now part demon sadly. I cant believe they were given to someone so insignificant." He snorted and walked up to her. His eyes were blue and one was clear enough to almost be white. There was a shift in the wind and he grabbed her shoulders. "Close your eyes."

"What?"

"You idiot, do it now!" He spoke through gritted teeth.

Ahn decided to listen in a mix of fear and trust in him. She closed her eyes and they immediately felt better. The wind picked up and her hair blew in her face. She wanted to move it out but the man stopped her. "Whatever you do, don't open your eyes."

There were voices. Whispers around them. They were large in numbers and some were closer than others. They ranged from low and high tones. It was suddenly cold too. Ahn shivered and the grip on her shoulders tightened. It was scary. This was too scary. She wanted to run. Ahn wanted to open her eyes and run. Just like before with the men, something felt off. Like there was a presence here that wanted to hurt her. She gasped, the sound coming off shaky and scared.

The voices stopped.

Everything seemed to stop. Even the wind. As if waiting for her next move. "Your Uber is going to have to wait-" He laughed under his breath. "Seems like everyone decided to be nosy tonight."

Chanyeol picked her up again and she decided to let him. He had already saved her once. Her arms clung to his shoulders. "Hold on." He whispered. She felt him shift and they were in the air again. Ahn bit her lip and he kept moving. She didn't know where, or what but it seemed to be fast. As fast as a car. "You can open your eyes but don't look back! They're chasing us."

Ahn shook her head, refusing to see anything. She didn't want to find out what was chasing them or where exactly they were going at such a speed. Instead she thought,

Okay... he's a demon.

I have demon eyes?

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe that cult actually got to me and I'm dreaming. Or maybe it's an incredibly creative dream and I'm still in the hospital bed. There was never a Gabriel, and I never ate chocolate.

Maybe....

"All these houses look the same!" He muttered frustrated. Ahn opened her eyes. They were falling towards her street.

Didn't he not know how to land?

He didn't.

Chanyeol landed on the ground and lost his grip on her. He cursed and she fell off. Ahn rolled on the cement this time and almost crashed into a pole. The demon, on the other hand, was perfectly fine. He dusted off his hands watching her struggle to get up. "A sorry would have been nice!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why should I apologize?"

Whatever. It was a dream. Ahn figured this was all a dream now, there was no way in hell her body could take this much damage in one day. She stood up, knees wobbling and walked towards her apartment. Chanyeol stared after her. "Tomorrow, I'll check in tomorrow. For now, put a ring of salt in your bedroom."

"Yeah, yeah." She muttered, too tired to fight with her dream.

He was suddenly in front of her and she crashed into his chest. He was very very tall.

"I mean it. At least do that."

She nodded. Guess it wouldn't hurt.

————————

Chanyeol walked through the red gates being greeted by a bar full of idiot demons just like himself.

They all cheered at his entrance and some even sneered. He rolled his eyes and fell on a stool. This was going to be harder than he thought. The human was pretty healthy in a physical sense but she seemed to be a little too stupid. Instead of being scared of him, she had decided that he was a dream.

Though it helped running away.

He slammed his fist on the table and a demon named Kiol yelled at him. "Watch it! I just had those installed."

"I'm surprised this place is still running."

Kiol smiled at him. "It's been a while since you've been in the mortal world hasn't it? A lot has changed. Welcome back Chanyeol. It seems like everyone missed you."

He looked back at the guests. It was all demons but in their human form. They ranged in ages depending on when they were made into demons. One was as young as six. All of them were aware of his presence. All of them had been waiting for his return.

"They gave my eyes to some idiot human girl." He frowned. "She decided it was all a dream."

Kiol frowned, his human form was nothing short of intimidating. A bald headed six foot five man with tattoos covering every inch of his body. Chanyeol never understood why he went with that image when he could've been someone handsome... like himself. He grinned at his own compliment. Kiol said it was to scare any non demon customers away. Which was funny considering he was a high class demon. His power should be enough for that.

"How many are after her?" He asked.

"Too many. We almost got attacked in the forest but I was faster and stronger." Chanyeol sighed.

"Are you taking your eyes back?" Kai asked behind him. Chanyeol turned to look at him and they both grinned. Kai and Kiol two brothers who looked nothing alike yet had been demons for as long as he had been. They had met when there had been no such things as cars, or the internet or... Uber was it? Kai had burnt red eyelids that were a result of Chanyeol's curse that turned them into demons.

"I am." Chanyeol stood up. "Even if it kills her. I just have two problems.-"

"What is it?"

"She ruined them in a short amount of time. I have to wait for them to heal properly." He touched his eyelids. They were there in a spiritual sense. Not in a physical sense. Chanyeol could use his demon abilities to make himself look like a normal human. Like how he used to look thousands of years ago. "Also I can't rip them out of her because of that stupid law."

"Ahh..." Kai started thinking. "Humans over demons one?"

Chanyeol nodded. In the world of spirits there is a hierarchy. Demons in the lowest rank. Humans are weak and oblivious to the fact that they have so much control over them. They do though. It's the way God intended it. They have the power to get rid of them, to exorcise them, to make sure they never see light again. That also includes not being able to take his eyes back. That girl now owns them, they're part of her physical body and the only way for her to willingly give them up. "I'm going to do the contract with her."

"The king is back." Kai smiled.

He was.

_____________

1480 - Joseon dynasty:

Through the sounds of a leather whip, the sky above was a purple tint. It seemed to stretch into the horizon across the curved and sharpened grey rooftops. It touched the gold and green paint of the palace in such an artistic way that no painting done by any artist in the entire kingdom could replicate.

"Four more."

Chanyeol stared, lifeless, as the man in front of him was beaten. He didn't care. He had dared to back talk to him. Now he suffered the consequences. His father gave the commands. All he could do was watch and have fun with it.

Behind him, he heard a gasp. It was his mother. She had always been too weak for these situations, too kind. Chanyeol stood up, his red robes fluttering against the ground. From inside the castle lanterns had been lit up in the most beautiful of colors. Colors to represent an upcoming wedding.

His own.

The king stood, earning himself a good ten servants to come to his aid. They all tried helping him walk, some going as far as wanting to be used as a stepstool. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and stared back at the villager. He grew crops for the kingdom last he heard, he was hard working yet brash. He didn't care about the royal family or manners. All the good looking men were like that, including Chanyeol himself. Except Chanyeol was allowed to act like that. Through the scars and lashings he could make out the sharp features of his face, his long black hair fell towards the ground.

"He's going to get married soon! A crown prince should not be shown as being violent!" His mother fought for him.

"He is to be a king. A king shows no mercy. A king is strong." His father explained.

"Showing mercy is strength." She countered.

Chanyeol walked over to the beaten man and cocked his head to the side and smiled a crooked smile. "Do you agree? Mercy is strength?"

The man whimpered. Shielding himself from him. Not so tough now was he...Chanyeol took out a small golden blade, gifted to him by his friend Kiol. "I will show you mercy then-" He smiled, diving the blade into the side of his neck. A couple of women screamed behind him. Blood splattered on his face and he looked back. His mother had fainted, his dad looked proud but... his soon to be wife looked horrified. Chanyeol dropped the knife and raised his hands. "It was either that or torture."

Sooyun cried, though the tears didn't fall. They gathered in her eyes as she nodded and bowed to him. "I am grateful to be wed to someone as merciful as you."

She was lying for her own sake. Chanyeol nodded and dismissed her. His dad patted him on the back. "You are going to be a great king."

He wasn't so sure about that.

#chanyeol angst #chanyeol #exo #chanyeol fic #chanyeol scenario #exo fic #gods eye xercei #demon au #kpop fanfic

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haveyoureadthisfanfic · 9 months ago

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Summary: Chanyeol inherits a huge, dilapidated, 200-year-old mansion, and decides to live there by himself while he restores it. While he's there strange, ominous, and even gruesome things keep happening.

Author: @unnie-bee

Note from submitter: Oh my gods, I can never read this again. This fic OWNED my mind for a month after I read it. The characterizations are golden. The horror is horrorific. I'm not a horror guy I hate being scared but I Could Not Stop Reading. The descriptions are vivid and gruesome and unsettling. If I ever read this again I won't sleep for a week but I think about this fic regularly and it's been well over 4 years by now. I think about it so so so much. It's my favorite fic ever.

#official fic poll #haveyoureadthisfic #pollblr #fanfiction #fandom culture #internet culture #fanfic #tumblr polls #fandom poll #came the last night #exo #KrisYeol #band rpf #rpf #ao3

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mybiasisexo · 2 years ago

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who are your fav or go to tumblr pages that write exo fics? or any specific stories you enjoy on here?

I have a tag for the fanfics I like

and im an old lady so I don't really know any new writers (I am so sorry I need to get back on it) but I do have my personal icons @baekberrie @yeoldotcom @j-pping @yeoldontknow @biaswreckingfics @ninibears-erigom @baeklination @byuntrash101 @breakyeol @vampwrrr @whimsical-ness (also rip to all the amazing work we have lost, all the talented writers who have gone. Thank you for your service)

my HIGHLY recommended fics are:

Break a Sweat by @breakyeol

I read this literally whenever my yeol thirst is too much and its gonna hit every time!!! My all time fav yeol smut

Sweet Lies by @vampwrrr

This is hands down one of the best bbh fanfics I have ever read. She writes bbh so damn well and its just so so amazing. I reread it every fall lmfaooo and I have hope that one day we will get a new chapter, amen 😔

Guardian by @kpopfanfictrash

An oldie (all the fics I love are like from 2016 smh) but GOODIE even if you feel some type of way about chen fics now I still HIGHLY recommend.

Exception by @moonlightjongin

Now, this story also isn't finished and prob won't be but...the edge of your seat??? The DRAMA?!??? Ugh I just love this one so much I really need to reread it cause its just amazing and I feel not enough people know about this one. A gem, truly

The Greatest Gift by @wonderlustlucas

Its giving everything it needs to give. Literally idk its just so good! The chemistry, the writing, the smut, chanyeols characterization. Just v brilliant and smart and truly my writing inspo. The sequel is just as scream inducing god I love it

and of course there is this little writer called @mybiasisexo who has this one story called Entangled that's ok. like she's cooking or whatever 👀😂

#this made me realize how much I don't read wow #like everything is from 2016 #and all the writers don't even be writing anymore #also realized some of my all time fave stories are GONE #I had a couple more recs but the writer deleted ://#ask #anon #exo #exo scenarios #exo fanfics

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finn-shitposts · 3 months ago

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Pls share the exo fic

IVE BEEN ENABLED!!!!!

SO its my most read fic of all time with over 300 visits, cos i was keeping up with it as it was being released back in the day!! (in the midst of the Tempo comeback and all :') ah nostalgia)

At this point ive read it over 10 times to completion, but ive had to put a note to self in my bookmarks to leave it alone for a bit so i dont get sick of it xD ive also tried to force all of my kpop friends irl to read, it but theyre all very ace and a good 40-50% of the fic is R rated lol - and its hard to skip those scenes cos they also contain plot half the time yknow

Its very sweet and plotty, mostly about Chanyeol (our main character) finding his self worth again after moping forever about his asshole ex, by dating his neighbours (Xiuchen who are already together)! It has some rly fun character introspection, flipping of traditional secondary gender roles, some cheesy stuff like chanyeol being a firefighter, xiu an ice sculptor and chen an electrical engineer! Overall its just AAA a very comfortable fic of finding love and healing and its one of those rare fics that feels very true to real life. Like the way people interact/member dynamics, the flaws and virtues they have, the everyday occurences that come up and how they react to those things - a lot of fics will breeze past that and i adore how this fic makes the everyday mundanity scenes feel special <333 and ESPECIALLY how those things are incorporated into the omegaverse worldbuilding, so it feels natural? So many fics just go yeah theres this whole other secondary gender thing, yeah people have wholeass heat/rut cycles and pheromones and shit but then do NOTHING interesting with it like dude the implications of a world like that are insane!!! The weird rituals and gender roles/expectations that would come from that!!! How the entire social buildup a world like that would change!! AnywY thats not specifically what this fic is About, but it addresses those things as a constant throughline in the bg of the fic, so i never find my immersion being broken :]

(also unrelated but kris is the bad guy ex in this which ,, this was pre the prison sentence, author had a premonition lmao.)

Ok no more rambling from me or ill start retelling the whole plot, but if you read it i hope you enjoy!!!!

#i cant state how many times ive read this #also #out of my like 300 odd bookmarks i think a solid 80 of them are exo and like 20 more are other assorted groups #so if you wanna swap more fic recs anon just gimme a shout! ill read p much any exo pairing #no pressure though :3 im glad i got to throw this one out onto tumblr at all!#finn.txt #ask #anon

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soft-jihoonie · 1 year ago

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I Hated You But I Want You - Chapter 1

Pairing: Chanyeol x f!reader

Genre: University AU - enemies to lovers

Warnings: none currently, may change throughout the series

Words: 1,094

A/N: As always, if you like the fic please like, reblog or reply! I’d love to know what you think

| 1 | 2 |

Park Chanyeol is just about the smuggest dickhead you’ve ever met, and now you’re forced to cooperate with him.

You never really thought having to do partner work on projects at university would be an issue, you’d been paired up with plenty of people with no problem at all. Chanyeol though, Chanyeol is a problem.

It’s not like he’s the worst person in the world, sometimes he can be fairly amusing, but the way he gets away with doing the bare minimum of work through his charm riles you up way too much. So you’re understandably annoyed when you check your email from your lecturer with a spreadsheet of who’s partnered with who, and find your name right next to Chanyeol’s.

You’ve heard many stories from your friends of how Chanyeol will barely contribute till the last minute, turning his portion of the work in the morning of a project being due some times. He knows he’s good at the degree, and that drives you up the wall that he won’t be a cooperative team member, only caring about his own grade.

You can’t help but groan audibly when you read his name, leading Kyungsoo, your friend you’re hanging with before class, to ask, “Who’s your partner? I got Minseok.”

You mumble out, “Lucky”, as you turn your phone screen to Kyungsoo, pointing at Chanyeol’s name.

Kyungsoo pulls a sympathetic face and says, “Man, I feel for you, I hated working in a group with him, partners is going to be way worse!”

“Thanks for the confidence, Soo.”

He laughs and says, “Speaking of that class, we should probably head towards the seminar room before we’re late.”

You nod, gathering up your items and following Kyungsoo to the room, idly chatting with him along the way.

As if the universe was looking to mess you around further, Chanyeol was standing outside the seminar room, laughing obnoxiously loudly at something his shorter friend has said.

You don’t manage to suppress your eye roll, Kyungsoo quietly laughing when he sees you do so. He stops on the other side of the seminar room door to Chanyeol and leans against the wall and you follow suit.

Your idle conversation with Kyungsoo is being interrupted moments later, and you hear Chanyeol’s voice say, “Ah! You’re my partner on the new project!”

Mentally reminding yourself to act nice, you turn to face Chanyeol and respond, “Yep that’s me!”

Chanyeol grins and you can’t deny that it’s sort of endearing, he responds, “Y/n, right? I’m Chanyeol.”

You can’t help but chuckle at him introducing himself when your names had been on the spreadsheet saying you were partners. Chanyeol seems to realise this as he says, “Ah right, you probably already know that.”

Deciding to take pity on him, you smile and say, “Yeah I do but thanks for introducing yourself anyway!”

Chanyeol grins back at you and then the two of you return to your conversations with your own friends. As your listening to Kyungsoo complain about another module he has that you don’t share, you find yourself thinking that maybe Chanyeol isn’t that bad. He seems like a nice enough guy, maybe your friends had been exaggerating.

That thought is quickly disproven once the seminar starts. Your lecturer tells you to sit in your pairs and after giving a run down of what’s expected of the project, sets you to all start planning together. You pull up a blank word document on your laptop and turn to Chanyeol as you ask, “Alright, what should our projects focus be?”

Chanyeol doesn’t look up from his phone, shrugging as he says, “Honestly pick whatever you prefer, I don’t really mind.”

You don’t hold back your annoyance as you say, “Seriously? We’re meant to be working on this together, you should at least have a say.”

Chanyeol’s eyes finally leave his phone to look at you, seeming a bit surprised at your response. He shrugs once more and says, “I don’t know, tell me your ideas and I guess I’ll say which one’s I like.”

You’re close to raising your voice at him from annoyance but seeing that the lecturer is glancing your way, you take a deep breath and begin typing down your ideas onto the word document. Rolling your eyes when Chanyeol goes back to his phone.

Coming up to the end of the seminar, you’ve managed to force Chanyeol to pick a project topic with you and decide which parts of the project you’ll each focus on specifically. You’re packing away your laptop and notebook when you see Chanyeol’s phone shoved in front of you.

Sending a quizzical look his way, you glance back down at his phone screen to see it open on a new contact. Chanyeol says, “You should put in your number so we can keep in contact about the project.”

You’re definitely surprised that Chanyeol’s initiating this when he’d been so reluctant to cooperate with you all class, but you still take his phone and put your number in, passing it back to him when your done.

Chanyeol smirks at you and says, “Easiest way to get such a pretty girls number”

You roll your eyes, picking up your bag as you stand up and walking off towards Kyungsoo. You can’t help but scoff at Chanyeol’s comment, thinking he’d never have a chance to get your number if it wasn’t for this project.

Chanyeol isn’t unattractive. He’s definitely one of the more conventionally attractive men on your course, but his personality puts you off him easily. You’ve never really liked the joker fuck boy types, and Chanyeol fits right into that category.

Kyungsoo swings an arm around your shoulder as you head out of the seminar room, introducing you to Minseok who walks out with you. Minseok already seems to be a much nicer partner than Chanyeol, and he gives you a sympathetic look when you begin to complain to Kyungsoo about your partner.

As you settle down at a table in the library about 10 minutes later with Kyungsoo and Minseok, your phone buzzes in your hand. Checking the notification you see it’s an unknown number messaging you.

Opening the message, you see it says, ‘so when can I see you next baby? - Chanyeol aka hottest guy you know’

You roll your eyes, typing back ‘next seminar session’ and then saving the number in your phone under the contact Pain in my ass.

You choose to ignore the frowning emoji Chanyeol sends back in return and get to work starting on the project.

#chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x you #chanyeol fanfic #exo fanfic #exo x reader #exo #chanyeol #Kyungsoo #minseok #xiumin #fanfiction #exo fanfiction #university AU #my tol pup

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kaisooficpodcast · 4 months ago

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Pride by and with yeolimerent

I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast!

For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoosphere. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom.

This month we are looking at one fic for two episodes. First part was on the 12th, and today the second episode for the same fic is on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!

If you, dear listener, have been up to date with the podcast episodes, you will find that there will be similar questions to other author’s sessions. Each author brings in their own different perspectives and experiences. By asking similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united kaisoo fic writers are.

The sequence in which we will be having this episode is as such:

Firstly we have yeolimerent introducing the fic of the day, followed by some plot based questions, next some questions on their journey as a writer. Then we end with the 3is: lesson learnt; source of inspiration and impact to the kaisoo fic community.

I also got about four questions from an anon on curious cat, so I will be weaving the questions into the appropriate segments of the episode.

Cover Art

Now, prior to me giving the author of the day these questions, I asked yeolimerent what is their favorite scene from Pride. And when they responded, luckily Lyn was still doing commissions… so i asked her. One more, just one more!

Thank you Lyn for opening up commissions and being accommodating to my requests!

In the podcast cover art… we have kaisoo on a beach. This scene is not a reimagined scene, it is from one of the last few moments of Pride where kaisoo reconcile.

Context from the fic for this particular position kaisoo is in takes almost directly from the fic itself.

Intro to author

With permission of the author, I have reader Jie with me today, who will be taking the persona of yeolimerent.

Introducing a bit on yeolimerent:

yeolimerent has been in this fandom since (2013), that’s about (11 years). The pull factor that got her into this fandom was always Chanyeol and EXO showtime in general, when she was in high school and everyone was getting into EXO. Journey with kaisoo started ever since she could remember and had always been inspired by their chemistry. yeolimerent is currently focused on EXO right now. She’s also into a lot of queer artists and media.

Welcome, yeolimerent, thank you for your time in answering the questions for today’s session.

Thanks for having me!

Yeolimeret. yes? Shall we dive into the episode!��We shall! We start with the fic.

Pride

Pride by yeolimerent has 33 chapters with about 300 thousand words. Set in a universe where Kyungsoo is a chaebol and gets entangled with his driver. Lust, bitterness and heartache develops over the course of several chapters. Content warnings include smut (bottomsoo), I think one scene of dubious consent, and minor character deaths.

Now, yeolimerent, would you maybe like to start us off for those who are not familiar, what is Pride about?

The initial plan was always to make a Seven Deadly Sins series starring major EXO ships and KaiSoo would be Pride. I just had this big interest in rich-poor au when it came to kaisoo and this felt like the perfect opportunity to do it. Another factor was the idea of a younger Jongin falling for an older Kyungsoo and looking up to him in a way.

Pride is heavily Kyungsoo’s side of the story and how his world turned upside down in a span of a decade— from being one of the richest people in the country to owing millions of debts and then his poor first love who broke his heart turning into one of the most powerful men in the country who now has the upper hand on him. Here, we see him build and ruin relationships with other people in his life. We see how drastically things can change in a span of eight years, and how a lot of them also stay the same.

It’s basically his very complex journey of self-discovery and well… pride.

Pride literally starts with a bang. And I love it. The first chapter titled Prologue, readers are met with a very high tension chapter where Kyungsoo is angry and Jongin exudes danger. It is a very gripping scene. I am curious as to why you began the fic with a scene from the climax of the plot?

To be honest, this was the very FIRST scene that i came up with for Pride. It was my starting point. So what happened here would be the basis for the majority of what I wrote so it was very vital to the story. I guess I wanted the readers to read it first and think “Oh, what could’ve happened between them?” and “where do we go from here?” so it is the perfect prologue for the story.

The prologue scene is indeed very… you can get overwhelmed. And you did warn the readers to say that this is an intense and complicated fic, but I am super thankful that I continued to read and that i stuck through the whole thing.

Walk us through the chronology of you piecing up the plot. How did the pieces come to play after setting the prologue? Was it a bit overarching idea first or specific scenes coming in slowly piecing it all up?

For the chapter, I wasn’t much of a planner when I was writing Pride compared to how I am now as a writer. So every chapter came to me randomly, no outline and all. I just had this vague idea of what I would want to happen in that chapter and how I wanted to wrap it up, and then things just unfold from there depending on my inspiration. That’s probably a factor why the fic was so long because I couldn’t control it haha!

Wow, chapter coming up randomly with no outline…

Wait, what about that tiny detail in the chapters before the 8 years apart happened, before the presentation? The tiniest bit of information, the carelessness of Kyungsoo leaving his blueprint in the room without much thought… was that also not fully planned? Because only at almost the very end was it revealed that his carelessness plus Soojung’s sly personality cost him a lot of things. That tiny detail became one of the most important points of the story that pushed Kyungsoo to be off the grid.

As a reader, we also did not give it much thought because that moment was also brief. I guess my question now becomes… how intentional was your choice to have Kyungsoo not give too much thought to his work?

Yes. I wanted to convey that everyone had some sort of fault for what happened. Kyungsoo as a kid was meant to be careless and impulsive, and thats what got him in trouble. I intentionally made him spoiled and imposing to raise a bit of intrigue because he was, after all, still a chaebol kid. I wanted people to see how he treated people like Soojung unprovoked and think “did he deserve it?”

A question from my curious cat reads: if Jongin and Kyungsoo had met on Kyungsoo birthday in the bar, what would have happened? I was like omg Jongin turn and face Kyungsoo!!! Jongin turn around damn itttt :(

Ohh. I dont think that would be that productive as well because Kyungsoo would do what he did best, which was of course— to run. LMAO.

Surprising moments

Previous episode I asked the readers about the element in the plot that surprised them.

There were generally two main points on how Pride really grabs the reader’s attention. First shocking point for Pride was how readers were shocked at your choice yeolimerent, the writer’s choice. Of having Seonho be Kyungsoo’s buddy as they travel to New York and become the best of friends.

One of my most favorite things about Pride was Kyungsoo and Seonho’s very unconventional relationship. It was always the part that caught people off guard hahaha. I like the fact that when you read the first few chapters, Seonho would be the last person in the universe you’d expect to be Kyungsoo’s rock during the hardest days of his life but it happened anyway. It was also vital to his relationship with Jongin because a lot of jealousy stemmed from his past relationship with Seonho and it was very fun to watch unfold because Jongin was busting a vein while everything between them was platonic.

Seonho and Kyungsoo’s relationship is definitely unconventional. Related is another question from my curious cat for your fic. The question is: did Seonho really get his closure with Kyungsoo? Even though they both moved on with their lives, whenever I read Seonho and Kyungsoo’s part in New York I always had this weird anxiety about what if they cross the line of friendship. But they never did. They kept it cute, I loved it and Seonho’s character development was crazy! I wish I had a Seonho in my life too… So again the question is, did Seonho really get his closure with Kyungsoo?

I didnt really want to be so explicit about it. To me, they didnt have to sit down and have a lengthy talk about their relationship before running away together. I think that scene in the bar where their simple conversation about running away from their families became their closure in some sort because it was definite that no romance was left. Simple a trauma bond and the desperation to live their similarly miserable lives at home.

It also put emphasis on the concept of forgiveness because while Kyungsoo hated Seonho’s guts during college, it showed that he was SOOO heartbroken from Jongin to find solace on his ex and their shared trauma with their dads. It was enough to rebuild their relationship into a different, but stronger one.

Thank you for touching on the point of forgiveness. We see a lot of that here in the many relationships we explore in the fic. I think almost every pair baeksoo, chanbaek, kaibaek, has an element of forgiveness because of how much the characters have each hurt each other.

A pairing brought up in the previous episode was Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Right before Kyungsoo leaves, you can tell that Baekhyun felt a void in his heart after their conversation. Then a while after Kyungsoo goes back to Korea, we witness that scene where Kyungsoo talks to Baekhyun and when, i quote: his words tugged in his most fragile spot, chapter 26 titled Make It Up To You, is a sincere Kyungsoo who wants to help Baekhyun. This scene was a nice change of pacing and it feels very honest as well.

Yes. I think one of the lines I liked there was “we could stop being friends and I’d still know you more than anyone.” because that’s the gist of their relationship. Baekhyun, when he was unapologetically weird and had no other friends in college, was still the realest version of himself and only Kyungsoo really accepted that before Chanyeol came.

Another point of surprise made was how intense Jongin’s love was for Kyungsoo. Seeing as we are reading the fic in Kyungsoo’s POV, it was quite an eye opener to have read Jongin’s. As readers we do get a hint of Jongin having feelings for Kyungsoo. And upon the Jongin’s POV chapters, our impressions are validated, but to such a shocking extent. The previous episode as mentioned by one of the readers was that: they were convinced that Jongin had feelings for Kyungsoo the first time they met, but felt skeptical with their hunch since it always seemed like Jongin was siding with Soojung and setting Kyungsoo aside. But as the Jongin’s POV chapters were revealed, I think collectively, for readers, it becomes very clear that it is without a doubt Jongin loves Kyungsoo.

You do a wonderful job and I really appreciate you giving us Jongin’s POV. Reading the fic again from Jongin’s POV, it becomes very thought provoking because there is a wider perspective which makes the story more complex.

The part of the plot that changes to Jongin’s POV is after Kyungsoo is honest to Seonho that he loves Jongin. And with that, i pause for a question to yeolimerent: at what point of writing from Kyungsoo’s POV did you feel like you needed to share Jongin’s?

The part where he stopped tugging the other side of the rope and felt this intense fear of losing Kyungsoo completely when he saw him with Seonho at the parking lot. At present time, of course readers could tell Jongin wanted Kyungsoo back but him as a person didnt really know that or knew where to start. That scene with Seonho was some sort of his wake up call and from then on, he stopped letting his fears hold him back and was definite about winning the love of his life back so it was the perfect opportunity to reveal his side.

Writers Journey

The next segment is on the writer’s journey, your journey of writing Pride amongst other things.

The nature of Pride is that it is very long and dramatic and with that it has a very high intense emotional plot. As a reader, it feels overwhelming at times and i think a point that was brought up in the previous episode was how even upon rereading it the second time, the emotional rollercoaster was as intense as the first reading. And for some, already knowing the twist and surprising parts of the fic, it allows us to analyze every interaction they have before leading to that point. So that is us as readers. But how did you keep your emotions in check while writing?

It is crazy because a lot of people had complained about it being heavy throughout the years and I totally get it, but writing it was so therapeutic to me. I guess projecting a lot on Kyungsoo’s character played a lot of factor in that. He did a lot of stupid things in that fic but a lot of them were something I’d do or a choice I’d make so it felt nice to let it out.

Oh, wow. I see, so what kind of work is Pride to you?

Therapy! That was the time of my life where I had a lot going on and was in the middle of my med school applications so writing was a solace to me.

I did not know what to expect of your answer to my question, but I am definitely quite in awe.

It sounds like the whole process was very cathartic especially when you say you project on Kyungsoo and it feels nice to let it out. I am in awe mainly because I see it is something to channel your creative energy and in turn, because it is something so unique, very yeolimerent style, readers can really immerse themselves in your words and see the plot developing through your eyes.

With that i am curious, how long have you been writing? Is the reference on ao3 correct to say that you have been writing since 2019 or did you start way earlier on another site?

I have been writing the first Deadly Sins fics in wattpad since 2017 and only moved to AO3 in 2018 for my first BAE fic. I wrote Pride in AO3 but it was also posted in both wattpad and AFF. I’ve also been writing creatively since high school, which was over 10 years ago.

How seasoned a writer were you in writing when you came up with this? What point of your writer’s journey was Pride published?

I definitely had a much better experience writing it compared to the first two because I got better at expressing the character’s emotions. I would say I still got a bit better in fics I wrote after Pride but that was one of my works where I was able to express the characters’ emotions the way I wanted to deliver them.

Somehow that is comforting to know. This really long work has not only had therapeutic aspects for you, but you were able to articulate yourself. And it’s a win for everyone. We get a wonderful story filled with deep human flaws, heartache of first loves, redemption arc and a hope for love to persist. And hopefully you also get to benefit from it by navigating through life with more grit and faith with whatever life hits you with.

Lesson Learnt

Lesson learnt. The points we made the previous episode was that this fic teaches us so many things - importance of honest communication to resolve issues and insecurities. Teaching us about how moving on and forgiveness is important.

There is so much to unpack, so if there was one or more points you would like readers to take away from this story, what would it be?

Like you said, definitely communication and how important it is in a relationship. A lot of the problems in Pride came from their lack of talking which could be solved if the two of them were locked in a room together. Yes, the long tension was sexy but a lot of time could have been saved if they were well-functioning adults lol. I think forgiveness was also a big concept in this fic, not for the sake of those who wronged you but more on your peace of mind.

So now knowing the lessons you want readers to takeaway and us understanding the kind of work Pride was to you, what was the most challenging part of writing this particular au?

I did say it was therapeutic but writing it also had me confronting a lot of emotions buried deep when I was writing it. So many aspects in Kyungsoo’s character’s life were heavily based on mine so it definitely was difficult to acknowledge it. I was also in a phase where I aimed to please people so I was rarely satisfied with the chapters I wrote no matter how good the feedback I’d receive.

I see. I suppose it is natural for when things are therapeutic, it forces you to be honest. As a reader, we can see your sincerity. Thank you for writing.

Examples

Of course we cannot talk about hardship and forget about good things. So yeolimerent, what is your favorite scene? A scene that so beautifully captures the essence of the fic, a scene that you think about when you think back into this fic?

The ending on a beach was very heavy, both in good and bad ways. Years of unsaid words had to come out and it was messy, so I definitely remember it first. The scene where they were both sitting on the sand, both tired and hopeless, reimagining what could have been if things were different and accepting there was no way of changing things, so they either leave for good or move forward together.

Probably just me, but I also love the double chapter with Jongin’s POV on everything because it sheds light on a lot of questions.

I recently reread the scene again and it is easy to feel emotional at that moment.

I have another question from my curious cat that reads: In the FAQ, you mentioned the emotional scene but I wanna know what was your favorite scene like you read the scene and went “ damn girl you kinda ate”. Would it be the same beach scene or do you have another in mind?

Jongin’s POV was definitely one of my favorite because I had to navigate a completely different character and speak from his view. I also liked the scenes where Kyungsoo was trying to find himself in New Zealand because the parallelisms with his life and something as simple as volcanos was appealing to me.

Yeolimernet, listeners would be so honored to have you read an extract from the scene in the beautiful New Zealand beach, your favorite scene.

The designer looks at the distance where the sun has slowly risen. He bites his lip hard to prevent both a smile and his sobs.

“How could you confess and build all our dreams… in a car, parked on the side of the street?” his laugh mixes perfectly with a hiccup. Soo lets his head fall on his chest when Jongin reaches for his nape.

Inspiration

Thank you for reading your favorite scene. Having you read an extract aloud like this, it just makes me wonder, what inspired you to have this au?

When I started writing it, I just wanted to see where it would take me. The moment their conflict started as college students, I found myself, even as the writer, asking for more too. I just always had this thrill in me whenever I got to start a new chapter or publish them. I looked forward to seeing what people thought. I guess that was my biggest drive to go on. EXO as a group was also very active when I was writing this story so there were still a lot of ship crumbs that helped me.

I find your trust in the process very fascinating. It becomes a journey of self discovery both for Kyungsoo and yourself.

And from this inspiration of yours, was this the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?

Nothing particularly different from the final product. It definitely was supposed to be shorter than 300k like the 2 sinners trilogy before it, but I really had fun writing it and felt like the scenes I came up with, no matter how tedious and uneventful they seemed, were vital for the story and the characters’ arcs.

It certainly seems that way, very purposeful and intentional scenes.

Impact

We are nearing the end of the episode, this next and last segment is on the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.

But before that, the last question from my CC reads: my pride yaps are never ending pls don’t mind me but anyway thank you so much for writing the fic really..even though its angst its one of my go to comfort fics. I need to get this off my chest, I felt like Wrath and Pride happened simultaneously in two parallel worlds..there is a thin line as there were lots of similarities but two fics were completely different. The emotions you conveyed, idk how to put it hope you get what I am trynna say..so how did you do srsly?

Ohh yes, they were completely different worlds. Thanks for being kind! I think my sinners trilogy are similar in a way because the sins are somehow still intertwined in other stories. You can still apply wrath on Pride, and you can very much see pride on Wrath’s characters. Idk if that makes sense but i think that’s what made them feel similar.

I hope that answers your question, anon!

Yeolimerent, what kind of writer do you consider yourself as? For example, what is the one thing you hold dear to when writing? Or what is something you would never write?

Hmm I definitely am the type to write details as vivid and palpable as possible. I’m very visual as a person so I like writing the scene where I can be as clear as I possibly can for the imagery. I also try to write realistic lines or something I wouldn’t cringe at if I hear real Kaisoo say it in real life (key word: try hahaha). I like writing characters that are deeply flawed, and then I like having them reflect on said flaws.

In terms of tropes, I’m very welcoming to a lot of them as a reader. But as a writer, being realistic like I said, I’m not particularly into farfetched or over the top tropes like Mpreg or A/B/O. But depending on the world-building, I have fun reading them and am not closing any doors about writing them in the future.

And upon identifying the things you would like to continue to do, and the things you will never do as a writer, what’s the biggest thing you learnt while writing fics? Anything surprising or impactful or moving? Be it about the storytelling, the language used or the life lessons?

Heck, number 1: it is a thousand times harder to write fics when English is not your first language! TT I’ve had a lot of writing experience outside of the ficdom but it is still a struggle to express certain thoughts in another language.

Plot-wise, I realized I also like it when my characters admit that they did certain things because they just fucked up and not everything has to have deep reasons. It’s a trend I’ve seen in my recent works and it’s always refreshing to write about people who screw up once in a while.

Thank you for writing despite it being difficult.

With all the things you have learnt yeolimerent, and with your experience, all 7 years of it, what do you think makes a great story?

Write what you want to read! I’ve scrapped a lot of stories because I found that I tried writing them to please a certain crowd but it didn’t really feel right on my part. Writing what you would like to read gives you more ideas and creative juices you didn’t know were there. Allow your characters to have flaws and give them space to grow too. I have a huge preference for slowburn stories, both as a reader and writer, because seeing the characters go through a satisfying arc is what makes a great story for me.

Ending Ment

Before we end things, dear yeolimerent, do you have any other comments you want to share with us listeners? Any teasers for ongoing AUs or a hint of upcoming AUs you have in your work in progress stage?

Nothing in progress for me sadly as I am busy with hospital work :( I might have some things in the drafts but I don’t know if they’d ever see the light of day lol. I am definitely reading comments and messages once in a while though, whether I reply or not, and it really gives me strength. I would definitely like to write more kaisoo fics in the future especially once they start interacting again, canon!

I’m happy to have the opportunity to talk about Pride like this after so many years so thank you for doing this and for appreciating the fic! I’m very grateful.

Thank you yeolimerent for taking time out of your busy schedule to be with us in spirit of the episode and my dear Jie voicing over as yeolimerent, thank you for doing this with me on a weekday.

Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode.

Do keep a lookout for next month’s episode because we will be going through Chasing Summer Skies by rainepaige08.

New episodes either every 13th of the month or 12th and 14th, special kaisoo dates, of course.

To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.

Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.

#kaisooficpodcast #kaisoo

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 months ago

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Hey, i see this fic has chapter 5 but i can't seem to find the other chapters!

Do u have any masterlist or so??

Here it is! I hope you enjoy the story! ❤️

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ficclings · 1 year ago

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HELLO!

I have a few more weeks left until my fingers are mended but here's a little list of stories I have coming up for you guys.

Projects List:

Lost - Stray Kids x Reader (Hybrid & Zombie AU) Yunho (ATEEZ) x Reader (Fluffy Hybrid AU) Chanyeol x Reader (Elven AU) Patchwork - I haven't decided who our lead will be but it's an x Reader and it's very dark.

That's all I have for now and, yes, a couple are chaptered fics.

Update!

The work under the name Patchwork, will be a HyunSu (Sweet Home) fic as I suddenly had a flood of ideas haha So yeah, just jotting notes down for all of these at the moment.

Lost will come first though with standalone fanfics in between chapters so that I don't get too swamped with one idea (the thought makes my head feel like it's going to explode).

#updates

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cryptidclover · 2 years ago

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TaeKai Fic Rec List

A collection of fic that have stuck with me. (listed in no particular order)

Taekai Spy AU by taemin. series | M/E | When Jongin's cover is blown, he has to put his trust in the criminal he was supposed to assassinate. Burned spy AU. Reverie by Tae_amo. chaptered | E | Taemin has been recruited into an organization tasked with hunting down individuals that can conjure earthquakes and vortexes of fire at will. He's glad he has Jongin to keep his mind off his new job. Amour by Moonyki. one-shot | G | On a calm afternoon, Taemin has a very peculiar question for Jongin. A discussion ensues. You're my cup of tea by Moonyki. chaptered | M | Jongin recently discovered he likes tea a lot. Taemin works in a tea shop. But Jongin truly loves tea. Not only the cute tea shop's seller. Chanyeol gets involved in everything. & Kyungsoo speaks french. Happy Panda by atomickitten03. (Sequel) one-shot | PG | Working at a fast food restaurant isn't Jongin's dream job, but dance classes don't pay themselves. If only he could find one thing he isn't terrible at...

Error 404: shame not found by atomickitten03. one-shot | E | Being a webcam nude model is a perfectly respectable career, in Jongin’s eyes. But when he sees Taemin in real life for the first time, completely on accident, he doesn’t quite know the camboy etiquette to follow. Awkward Firsts by officiallykris. one-shot | E | Taemin likes the sound of his own voice. Kai finds this all a little amusing. baby me like yuh by soundandfury. one-shot | E | “Minnie-hyung. Taemin-ssi. Taetae. Taemin-oppa.”

Taemin feels a shiver of heat shoot down his spine at the last name, eyes widening and body stiffening up for a microsecond before he relaxes and schools his face into fond amusement. “Y-yeah, Jongin?”

Jongin laughs brightly and presses a sweet, chaste kiss to his cheek. “Buy me yakitori, please, oppa~?”

What's Your Kink by Layittofire. (chapter 12 specifically) series | E | Taemin and Kai each have their kinks, nearly all of which the other just loves to exploit. take care by gdgdbaby. one-shot | E | semi-public sex @ the august 18 smtown concert in seoul

friends like these by gdgdbaby. (scroll down to find it) one-shot | E | post-music bank win porn, bc of reasons. ft. boys crying

you can't dance and stay uptight by gdgdbaby. one-shot | E | melon music awards aftermath because i can't help myself, ever u__u a really terrible photo for your reference hey there, mr. blue sky by gdgdbaby. one-shot | E | flight attendants au ft. spontaneous telepathic mindbonding. Talking Body by fridaysblues. one-shot | E | Just some shameless late-night grinding. PWP. there was a time by junos. series | M | Taemin is sitting in his kitchen, peeling an apple. His hair is blond. He cocks his head at Jongin as if remembering something. As if he were only holding a thought, waiting for Jongin to return. “I wouldn’t break into your place if it wasn’t important,” he offers smoothly. The Couch by andbreatheme. one-shot | E | The casting couch AU literally no one asked for. Salty by maeryeok. one-shot | G | Taemin is making this absolutely disgusting noise that’s something between a snort and a scoff, with his lips turned unattractively upwards, when Jongin realizes he’s in love with him. stuck on you by Anry. one-shot| M | Jongin needs help taking off the kinesio tape.

Baekhyun-hyung, I need your credit card by gothtaemten. series | G | Taemin, Baekhyun and Jongin are locked out their hotel room, with no hope of getting back in until the rest of SuperM get back.

Taemin has an idea on how to get back in.

NEXT STOP G-SPOT by Tae_amo. one-shot | E | Taemin and Jongin fuck on a crowded Japanese subway. That's it that's the fic.

314 by jeannedarc. one-shot | E | Now that he’s at the scene, Jongin’s not entirely sure he should be. This might have been a mistake.

high on the taste of you by taeminsfw. one-shot | E | There was something entrancing about the way Taemin’s jaw tightened while inhaling the thick smoke, only to relax again with the exhales. It was nothing new, of course, that Jongin thought of Taemin as attractive. Maybe even beautiful, or breathtaking.

It was familiar, like everything else always has been in their relationship. It all came naturally, at one point, and it’s never been unwelcome. play me (소나타) by londoneyedgirl. one-shot | E | the one where jongin and taemin make a sextape. that's it, that's the plot

Dancing as If We Were Always One by Snapdragonia. one-shot | E| Jongin witnesses the pyn choreography for the first time and Taemin's dance practice takes a turn for the better.

mama called you baby center stage by goldminegoldmine. series | not rated | autochorrissexual/aromantic Jongin navigates his relationships with the rest of the members (+Taemin) and explores his identity Animal Style by Snapdragonia. one-shot | E | Frat boy Taemin smells his mate on the wrong person. Disaster ensues. i wish every time he touched me left a mark by taekai. one-shot | E | even when breathless and greedy for friction, something is graceful about the way taemin moves.

Low Tide by fridaysblues. series | E | Jongin wakes from a years-long slumber and doesn’t know how to atone for his sins, but the pleasure-seeking Lee Taemin’s happy to help take his mind off of his guilt. Play me by Life_Not_Knife. one-shot | E | This time the piano is a beech colour and the ivory keys look whiter than they should, none the less, the melody that flows from it is both familiar and beautiful – just like Taemin.

Only One (or, The Taming of the Taemin) by Rogue_TaeminBot. one-shot | E | In which TaeKai are a besotted pair of adorkable horny idiots who get in over their heads and face a challenge they are wildly unprepared to handle. i licked it so it's mine by gothtaemten. one-shot | E | The scent of sex and sweat is thick in the enclosed space of the hotel room. No light escapes around the closed curtains, the light under the door blocked by a towel to hide any noise that might come from within.

It's hotter this way, Jongin decides.

this love isn't crazy by unconscious. standalone/series | E | After more than ten years of friendship and a little bit of sex on the side, Taemin and Jongin debut in a group together. Los Angeles changes things. Suddenly there's a difference between what Taemin has and what he wants. sugar honey sweet by unconscious. (note: this fic is not taekai centric but has a wonderful depiction of them) one-shot | E | “Taeminie won’t admit it, but you remind him of himself,” Jongin hums. He keeps moving his fingers through Taeyong’s hair, dizzying pressure; his brain goes static. “Hardworking, ambitious, a little perfectionist. Difference is, Taeminie’s always had his hyungs looking out for him. Yongie” —Jongin curls his fingers in the hair at Taeyong’s nape, then tugs his head back, so Jongin can see his face— “who’s looking out for you?”

Taeyong is antsy. Jongin decides to do something about it. the thing i miss the most about you is everything by WhoTheBuckIsStucky. one-shot | E | Jongin and Taemin are very happy to be practicing together, and happy to have an excuse to be in each other's arms.

Waiting for You by GeeLiz_98. one-shot | E | Jongin and Taemin are embarking on a blossoming relationship filled with passion, secrecy and an excitement that Jongin had never experienced before.

An exciting dynamic he had never had with his boyfriend.

Will Jongin finally have to make a decision that will change his life forever?

Moth To Flame AU by taemin. series | G-E | "It's God's house, Jongin," Taemin says, sounding annoyingly reasonable for someone hurtling towards sex in a confessional, which is not a reasonable situation to be in at all. "We can be here anytime we want." Pour toujours & à jamais by Moonyki. one-shot | G | Taemin needs to confess something to Jongin. His thoughts. His feelings. His worries. Jongin listens & they talk it out.

Under The Same Sky by sleepydanceur. one-shot| M | Dragonriders!AU - the Bond between and dragon and their rider is as pure as it is rare. Jongin doesn't know how that feels until he meets Taemin.

heated gaze by snowglobes. series | T | Jongin goes to a club and gets more than he bargained for.

Shining Sunshine by melancholywhite. series | T | Retired dancer Kim Jongin, also known as Taemin's best friend since birth, is adopting a baby. Since he's such a loyal friend, of course Taemin ends up getting roped into raising the child with him. It sounds like an easy enough job at first, but when old feelings start to resurface, Taemin doesn't know anymore.

When The Lights Are Down by etonnant67. chaptered | E | Jongin spends his time searching for the stories hidden in music, for the message woven into the magic of the stage. It makes sense that he’d be drawn to Taemin. But he’d never expected that he’d fall so deep.

Catch Me If You Can by sleepydanceur. one-shot | E | Bounty hunters in space!AU. Taemin and Jongin as rival bounty hunters who clash when they both go after the same mark.

With Me, Settle Down by (orphaned fic). one-shot | E | Taemin accidentally catapults Jongin into the realm of his own latent bisexuality. Baekhyun is there, too.

Last by softraincloud. one-shot | E | With the void of immortality to fill, demons have to entertain themselves somehow, and Taemin has found the perfect way to do just that.

However, even within eternity, not everything lasts forever.

make it up as we go along by unconscious. (note: this fic is not taekai centric but has a wonderful depiction of them) one-shot | T | The first time it happens, too much happens.

mark finding his footing in superm (:

I See You by Tired_Little_Space_They. chaptered | E | In the coolest darkest part of a forest long forgotten by modern living, something very old and powerful is waking up, hungry, searching for something it can not live without.

If there are any fic not on this list that you'd like to recommend please feel free to drop it in my askbox or leave it in the replies. This list is always changing, updating, and is merely a reflection of my personal taste.

#taekai #taekai fic #taemin #jongin

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eomayas · 1 year ago

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i love chanyeol but he's not my bias and i only ever read fics for my bias... but i was so curious why everyone is so into new thing so i decided to read it yesterday...... girl you kept me up until 3 am hooked on every last word!!!!! it's so good and developed into so much more with each chapter, i am excited to see how you work your magic for the next part!! the angst hit just right and the smut was groundbreaking, what more could a girl ask for!!!!

purrrrrr yeolmaeism is at an all time high right now! i glad you decided to give my series a shot and are liking it! 💜 also i’m glad you like the smut LMFAOOOO i don’t think i’m a good smut writer so

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tmwcs · 2 years ago

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since heeseung is every much into music does him and yn have like "their song" ? or a song that he associates with yn? ¿

They absolutely do my love. For every occasion too. I already mentioned in another ask, that I listen to Zayns - Pillowtalk (explicit version) when I write their smut or love making scenes. When I think of their fight/argument scenes, it’s anywhere between Metallica - king nothing or telephone - lady Gaga.

Now, as far as their song in the series, the one that I think is most fitting, and I’m even going to mention them listening to it in one of the chapters (like them turning on the radio and listening to it or something) I’ll have the Spotify link in it. So you’ll see ;)

I love every type of genre, and when it comes to THEIR ultimate song, which is funny you mentioned it bc I’ll be inserting one of them, bc honestly, there are a ton of songs that I listen to and think of heethan and reader. To name a few…

chanyeol + punch - stay with me (beautiful piece and probably the one that I listen to most bc it does make me think of heethan and reader, and there’s a fic written from another writer that is an enhaXreader, it also makes me think of those two as well.)

Taylor swift - this love (love the beat of this song. It fits heethan and reader so well)

Enrique iglesias - escape (OMG this song is so fitting for them…”you can run, you can hide but you can’t escape my love.” That’s…100% heethan)

troye Sivan - Angel baby (I always think of Heethan’s perspective when he thinks about reader whenever I listen to this song. The rhythm, the lyrics, the tune and the oompf it has…beautiful.

Ed Sheeran - perfect duet (with Beyoncé) (puhleeeeeese….do I need to say anymore than the title? That song is soo Heethanxreaden)

Beyoncé - smash into you (my favorite Beyoncé song and I def think of the pair when I listen to it.

Those are just examples.

honorable mentions:

Heethan song: chaconne - enhypen (I immediately thought of heethan when they came out with this track) also, bite me by enhypen, enter sandman - Metallica (not so much the lyrics but the beat just makes me picture angry and badass heethan) and often by The Weeknd (ummmm yeah…I’m pretty sure you know why lol this just screams heethan bc of the whole sex god thing….parts of the lyrics “baby I’ll make that p*s*y rain often” …yeah, you can’t tell me that isn’t your man, especially after what you e read this far)

Readen song : sweet but psycho - Ava max (this is so fitting…bc of reader and Eden…..I can’t even begin to tell you how much this song fits reader like…woooow.) kings and queens - Ava max and Roxette - she’s got nothing on (but the radio) literally Ava max’s kings and queens just screams Eden and Roxettes song just makes me think of reader bc….i love the tune and in a way…kinda true since heethan has her stripped like 90%of the time bc of …you know.. lol

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wallowinbloodywaters · 1 year ago

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looking for a beta reader for my exo fic!!

Here's some basic info:

chaptered, ~3k words each, baekhyun/chanyeol, fantasy, weekly upload schedule

just looking for someone who really likes exo, doesn't mind reading member/member and likes AU's!

i post on AO3 :)

#exo #exo fanfic #ao3 #chanyeol #baekhyun #writer #reader #beta request #mlm #fandom

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lovsy-archive · 7 years ago

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Sequence [vii]

sequence masterlist

masterlist

chanyeol x reader genre: angst word count: 4.7k

EVENTUALLY

01.23.17

Stagnant. That was how you felt: as if you were wading in thick, mossy water, green in hue against the color of your toes as they wiggled impatiently beneath it.

You could taste it on your tongue- bitter, the smell of rot- sour, the decomposition of your marriage mocking your senses as it lay at your feet, clawing desperately at your legs to gain your attention.

Neglect hissed and spurted as it made contact with your ego, the sound rippling in your ears and you closed your eyes until it lessened, faded away like a background noise; like a song you couldn’t knock out of your head. Only, the song wasn’t catchy, or like a broken track on your brain because you enjoyed it. No, instead it was branded into your thoughts because it burrowed itself into every corner of them.

A constant reminder of things you had done, and the things you had failed to do.

But, regardless, things had managed to improve, even if you held the term in its simplest sense. The neglect was there, evident as ever, gnawing at you and Chanyeol no matter how fervently you swatted it away- like a bug, but it was fading. It was being washed out, rinsed out of your subconscious like you had finally found the sense to hose down your life and let your problems drain into the gutter alongside the dirty water.

You would wake up, him not in your arms but sleeping just beside you, and it was a feeling you’d grown accustomed to- one you learned to appreciate. You would not feel suffocated, not claustrophobic in your own bed as if your entire word would crumble at his skin touching yours, or the lack thereof. You and Chanyeol had found a simple melody, a place in time where you two existed together, but apart; with him and without him, with you and without you.

No longer did he sleep with his spine digging into the couch, and no longer did he sleep with his cheek pressed into the skin of your stomach, but he slept next to you. And it was this warmth that radiated off of his body that lingered onto your own and lulled you to sleep despite the cold whistling outside.

Your days existed separately, coming together only when they had finished themselves to completion, and you found a beautiful solace in the comfort of your apartment, of your home. You had work, and though he had just lost his, it did nothing to deter him. And so you were together, but apart.

Two people, two souls, learning to live alongside each other rather than as one.

It was what you both needed, the comfort lying in the distance, but the solidarity of knowing you two would be there, unwavering and consistent, if need be.

Inherently, you could never deny the truth: the fact that you yearned to feel him despite the way you were glad he wasn’t trying. You knew it in the way your touch lingered across his clothing as you folded it into your dresser, the way you would lay in bed scrolling through your camera roll, disregarding the fact that he laid inches beside you, asleep. It was a force you hadn’t learned to ease, a draw to him that you couldn’t, even after so many years of trying, control.

And so, when Baekhyun called, inviting you and Chanyeol out to a ‘lunch date, yannow, like a normal couple,’ with him and Sumi, you accepted, despite the growing discomfort manifesting at the base of your chest, or the anxieties of sitting next to Chanyeol in public for the first time in months lingering in your fingertips. You accepted only because you knew you’d have to fall into normalcy eventually, that you and Chanyeol would have to start picking up the pieces of your marriage and gluing it together, even if one shard at a time, slowly.

The wind howling in the trees made them sing, their bare branches whipping against the air as if they were quarreling, pushing the balance between the two and swaying back and forth. It was almost metaphoric, the way you could see the branches struggling against the force, the way they nearly snapped in two under the weight they couldn’t control- similar to the way you’d let yourself bend backwards under the pressure of your dwindling marriage.

Chanyeol had nothing to do with it, after a certain amount of time, slowly detaching from the situation. It turned into a battle with yourself, into a plea bargain between your mind and your heart- your heart being the one who was lovesick for forgiveness. Your mind, however, was a stoic wall, unwavering and unforgiving. Your mind remembered everything: every word, every look, every inhale of breath you struggled for when he would throw knives into your chest. Your heart was forgiving, the burn of want blowing smoke straight into your mind and making it impossible to fight is pull.

And so, it was a battle, one that would go on for weeks, a war that was unwilling to come to a close.

You could see the way the snow fell to the ground, melting into puddles of slush as it touched the concrete below, fading away into a dark grey color and becoming mixed with the dirt in between the cracks in the cement. It wasn’t snowing enough to cover anything, not enough to create a blanket of white across the streets, only a small freckle daring to hit the pavement as time prolonged. But still it was cold, and outside it was dark, and the porcelain mug resting between your fingers did little to alleviate the numbness growing into their tips.

The conversations lingering around you were only a buzz in your brain, a mere whisper against the shell of your ear as you watched the people bustling outside of the cafe as they walked along, noses tipped in red and cheeks left dry and bitten from the wind. You tried to ignore everything, tried to submerge yourself into anything besides the way his arm twitched beside you- as if it were fighting itself not to latch onto your thigh. You allowed your eyes to flutter shut, zeroing in on the soft hum of the music echoing across the room and falling into your own world- the world where you were unapologetically and unregrettably happy.

Your fingers lingered against the rim of the cup, swiveling, tense, uncomfortable as you took steady breaths in a weak attempt to calm the sporadic beating in your chest. You could feel him, the way you always did, radiating anxiety, as if his presence in the cafe was turning his insides to push and shooting adrenaline up his arm like heroin.

In the back of your brain laid the memory of his hands- more specifically the way they felt on your hips the night he got back, how they felt as they pushed themselves up your clothing and pressed themselves into your flesh. It made you feel calm, made your eyes flutter open and a smile threaten to tug at the corners of your lips as you focused on the steam that radiated from the tea in your mug.

His voice knocked you out of your trance, brought you back to reality like it always did- the way it reverberated through your nerves like a chorus singing in your bloodstream. Your eyes focused on his, on the way his eyebrows furrowed onto slightly, drawn into his forehead, gaze lingering on you and the way you stared at him blankly. His hair was disheveled, like he had been carding his hands through it all day to release the pounds of tension and pressure from their follicles. You focused especially on his lips, on the way his tongue darted out to soothe their cracks and moved in harmony with the sound of his voice.

“They’re here.”

And so you let your eyes leisure towards the entrance, and they fixated on the way Baekhyun held the door open, Sumi brushing past him with a nod, a blush on her cheeks and a smile glued to her features like it had been there since the moment she woke up.

You remembered when you were like that, too.

You watched them, the way they interacted- how their hands gravitated towards each other like two magnets with polar ends. You envied them, felt a tinge of jealousy in the way they walked over, the way Baekhyun’s nose scrunched as Sumi caringly, gently used her thumb to swipe something from the corner of his lips.

Their greeting was thin, breathless, as if the journey from the car to your table had taken the wind from their lungs and let it evaporate into the atmosphere. You could feel them, their energy, the way they omitted happiness and radiance- almost blinding as they slid into the booth across from you.

“Sorry we’re late, you know how Baekhyun gets.”

She said it with a laugh, and you could see his pout, see the way her smile swallowed her face as she shrugged her coat off of her shoulders and into her lap beneath the table. Only out of the corner of your eye could you see the way Baek’s arm crawled towards her lap, likely ghosting her fingers with his own in secret. It was warm, the atmosphere that radiated from their bodies, the aura that surrounded them- yellow, fiery orange and deep red. It made your hands twitch against your mug, made you fight yourself to keep them at the porcelain instead of retreating into your lap, the fog looming over your brain making you want to curl into a ball forever.

It burned, seeming them, though it definitely shouldn’t have. You and Chanyeol had made progress, the doubt not lingering in the well being of your marriage but rather the well being of your heart. You’d become weary, unsure of how deep you could submerge into Chanyeol again, untrusting of yourself simply of how fully trusting you were of him. You’d come to realise you would cross a busy street if he told you he would be there on the other side. It was this, the undeniable gravitation towards him that had the tips of your fingers numb and your body pulled in as close to the wall as possible.

“We’ve all had to deal with Hyun forcing us to be late at one time or another.”

Chanyeol’s voice, again, radiated across your core, sending a spark of heat to flash across your body, the lump in your throat dissolving like sugar. Air could reach your lungs, simply because he spoke, simply because his words had lingered in the space above your head and seeped deep into your skin.

Baekhyun’s whine is what drew your eyes away from the window, where they had drifted in passing, the sound comforting as it wisped across the table and onto you. He looked at home, his arm draw tight around Sumi’s shoulders like there was no other place it belonged, his back pressed against the booth. You noticed the way he glanced at the side of her face as she studied the menu, the way he kept his eyes locked on her lips and her profile whenever she spoke, gleaming and bright despite their dark color.

You’d missed it. The familiarity of sitting across from Baekhyun, Chanyeol at your side- the normalcy settling deep into your bones and causing a wave of comfort to soothe into your muscles. You let yourself lean into him, into his side as you listened in on Sumi talking about her day, feeling him tense slightly beneath you, like your presence on his skin had jolted him awake out a slumber he was unaware of.

But he melted out of it, and pooled into you like honey, into your touch, grabbing at your flesh like he was trying to make a home of it. You welcome his hand where it rested on your thigh, let your eyes flutter shut as his side pressed into yours and the way you could feel his chest move with laughter as he clapped his free hand against the table- sending a boisterous sound through the vacant diner as it echoed against the walls.

“So, how is it having Chanyeol back?”

The question directed at you was innocent, Sumi likely not being clued in on the way you had been clawing desperately out of the lingering situation, but it made Chanyeol’s hand flinch off of your thigh nonetheless, his arm around you staying, but stiffening all the same. He spoke up beside you, keeping you from having to grit through your teeth as you lied.

“It’s good,” he started, glancing at Baek as if he feared if he looked Sumi in the eye she would read the way he was lying directly to her face, “better than ever.”

You nodded in agreement, the smile on your face feeling as if you’d forced knives into your cheeks to peel them into place. “Much better.”

“Oh perfect, then I won’t feel guilty rambling some more,” Sumi said, reaching for Baekhyun’s hand and grasping it tightly in her own. Your eyes caught the way he rubbed the back of her palm with his thumb, almost comfortingly, his body leaning into hers and his presence becoming more evident at the small booth. “Baekhyun and I actually have some amazing news. Well, at least I think it’s amazing.”

The last bit was teasing, playful as she eyed Baekhyun carefully, scrunching her nose slightly at the way he grinned back at he. You’d almost felt invasive watching them, like you’d been recording a moment designed only for them, like you should be slapped on the wrist for indecency.

The second the words left her tongue, you crashed. All at once, your body convulsed, like every nerve had been asleep and was suddenly jolted awake as her voice ricocheted into your body. Chanyeol went limp beside you, his air stuck in his throat as he glanced between the two of them. You managed your eyes onto Baekhyun, watching as he read the situation, tongue swiping along the inside of his cheek and eyes whirling with an emotion you couldn’t manage to read.

“I’m pregnant!”

You opened your mouth to speak, but you failed. The words got caught on your tongue, burning like acid as they lodged deep in your throat and cut off the circulation to your brain. You could see the world tilting on its axis, your hand subconsciously dropping to your lower stomach as you clenched your jaw to keep the tears from welling in your sockets. Chanyeol was the first to speak up beside you, wrapping his arm around you tighter and pulling you further into his chest, almost like he was attempting to shield you, trying to keep you hidden so you could experience your emotions in full. Only you couldn’t, because the pair was watching you on bated breath, waiting for a congratulations of some kind as you fought yourself to stay put together.

“That really is amazing news, Sumi,” he began, nodding along with his words as if to make them sound more viable, more concrete in theory, “you and Hyun will make amazing parents. I just know it.”

And at that, it became harder to breathe as you nodded alongside him, your cheeks burning as you forced them into a smile wider and your hands dug into the flesh of your thigh.

It was you that was supposed to be receiving these words, you and Chanyeol who should be across from them announcing news to start your family.

You wished it was you.

It should’ve been you.

“Of course,” you started, using every ounce of concentration to force the words out, to make sure they didn’t break and splinter as they slipped off of your tongue, “I’m happy for the both of you.”

From the relief that washed over Baekhyun’s face, your body relaxed, only slightly, that you had managed to pull off the happiness- managed to hide the way your heart was breaking in half beneath your ribs. Chanyeol, beside you, knew better, and you could tell in the way he tightened his grip on your arm and tried his best to soothe you with circles into your shoulder.

The wind outside was still howling, untouched, the snow still falling in spurts, not managing to conceal the floor anymore than before, especially now that everything had turned so dark. You wished, desperately as you clung to your own leg to keep from collapsing in on yourself, that the flurries would take you with them. You watched as they fell, breath coming out in heavy, shallow bursts as the flakes melted into the ground, not strong enough to stay whole. You felt a lot like the snow that dissipated into the concrete, like you were too weak, too fragile to remain complete- as if you would, too, melt into the ground if Chanyeol let you.

After a long time, seconds, even minutes of conversation continuing, numbing responses leaving your mouth without the acknowledgement of their meaning, your hands grasped the mug, now cold from neglect, and pulled it closer to you. The ring on your left finger felt hot, like it was charring through your flesh and threatening grey ash onto your bones as it lingered. It felt mocking, like the glint of light it reflected from the soft lamps above you had purpose: to shine into you and make you burn from the inside out. Sumi had no ring, no binding of her life to Baekhyun’s, and yet she got what you’d always wanted- got a life growing inside her despite how little she had worked for it.

You knew, in your mind, that you were being selfish. You should have been happy for Baekhyun and Sumi, the happiness oozing off of them seemingly being enough to seep into you and consume your otherwise negative thoughts, but it only spurred you on farther, deeper into the pit of your anxieties and neglect.

You were drowning, and again, it was because of yourself.

The sun began to hide behind the horizon when Baekhyun and Sumi excused themselves, your eyes feeling dry and stinging as you blinked up at them. You didn’t know how long you’d zoned out- clearly long enough for the sky to fall, and you apologized to them for it, though you weren’t sorry. You couldn’t help the bitterness that washed over you as you hugged her, knowing there was a life inside of her that you felt you deserved more.

Baekhyun’s body held you closer than usual, his arms tightening around you firmer and longer than he would’ve any other day, because he could see that you were lost. He could see in the way you watched people through the window, as you twisted the ring on your finger absent-mindedly, that you were everywhere but in that cafe. Anywhere but sitting across from the people that had taken something from you that you’d been wanting for months, years even. He knew, and that’s why he hugged you longer, hoping it would cauterize the wound that had been slashed open, bleeding onto the floor in a puddle.

Your eyes glued to your fingers as you slid back in the booth, Chanyeol sitting across from you now and taking your hands in his. You fought yourself not to flinch away, not to put up the walls you so gruelingly took down to let him back in, to let him hold you and comfort you and help you when you needed him the most.

The warmth radiated off of him, like he was a beacon and you were the sea he projected into, vast, dark, cold. He watched you shut down, watched as your body went catatonic against the words running behind your eyes as they stared blankly at where your bodies connected. He wanted to help you, wanted to pull you out from the water before you drowned, but he knew he couldn’t. He could try, but it was only you that could save yourself, only you that could allow yourself to swim to the top, to take in the air you needed to survive.

Because he was only a lifeboat, and you had to want to float to board it.

“I can’t breathe.”

Your voice came out, but barely, broken, like it was cutting your vocal chords as it lingered into the air. He held your hands tighter, smoothing over them with the pads of his fingers as he nodded, watching you.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry I can’t-”

“No, Chanyeol. It hurts to breathe. I need to get out of here.” Your voice was thick, reverberating from deep within your chest as you tried to swallow down the lump in your throat, failing. “Please take me home.”

He stared at you, eyes blown and concern drawing his eyebrows together, scanning your face as if he was looking for a scratch on the side of a car. And then he was nodding, and on his feet, and swallowing thickly and carding his fingers through his hair as if he’d just been told he had seconds to escape before the walls caved in on him. His arm was around your shoulder, leading you out of the diner and walking you to where he parked your car, trying his best to shield your body from the biting winds as silent tears spilled down your cheeks and blew into your hair with force.

He was silent, you were silent, as he tucked you into his side and waited for the light to turn red and signal you across the street. He could feel your body shake, with tears or because of the low temperatures he couldn’t tell, though he hoped it was the latter for the sake of your well being- even if he knew it wasn’t.

The tears burned as they streamed, hot and bitter against the chapped skin of your cheeks, your face pressing into his body and nuzzling deep there, legs nearly on top of his own as you pushed further and further into his chest. You wished, in that moment, that everything would cease to exist. That you, Chanyeol, and everything else would vanish into thin air- that the heartbreak would be something that you never had to think about again. Standing there, heart beating so heavily in your chest it felt as if it were cracking your ribs in half, you’d wished you plainly didn’t exist.

At least that way you wouldn’t have to think about the almosts, and the could’ve beens.

And he could sense this. He knew you, knew the way your hands lay limp at your sides that you’d been overcome with a sense of nothingness. The way you cried silently, not broken, not splintered, but silent, sullen, vacant. Had he not known better he would think you’d been paralyzed, the way the liquid poured down your cheeks and into his clothing as you did nothing to wipe it away.

All he could do was pull you with him as he crossed the street, keep his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulder, and guide you home.

You stayed silent. In the car, on the way home, even as Chanyeol tried talking to you, you had no words. Nothing you felt the need to say, no construction of letters that you deemed fit to let mock you in the air around your head. Drawing your legs up to your chest, you leaned yourself against the window, curled as tightly as possible into the door and let your eyes shut, squeezed together so tight you could see the galaxies swirling beneath them, wanting nothing more to become a star, a part of the cosmos and away from the pain.

At a red light, he turned to you, and reached out for you, but you stayed away. You kept your eyes shut and your arms wrapped firmly around your knees. You could hear him sigh, feel the way he tensed beside you as he leaned back into the chair and gripped the steering wheel, but you couldn’t help but stay mute.

“Please don’t shut me out.”

He had pulled into the parking garage of your apartment and shut the car off, the only sounds filling your ears being his breathing and the hum of the engine as it purred to sleep. Your words clawed at your throat as they came up, like a creature living at the base of your ribs and filling your lungs with air as they expanded. You looked at him, for the first time since you left the diner, and your heart dropped in your chest. He looked tired. No, not tired, exhausted, like you had sucked the last bit of life out of him and left him alone to wither away into dust. Your legs straightened out beneath you and you turned into him, pulling your hand up and pressing it to his cheek.

Watching at the way his eyes fluttered shut and the way his face nudged into your palm, you felt overwhelmed with guilt. You’d neglected him, ignored him, shut him out even though he was doing everything he could to help you. You were like a leech, one that would keep sucking him dry until he finally squashed you beneath his shoe and found someone else.

“I don’t deserve you.”

His eyes shot open, and his hand grasped at yours and he pulled you closer to him, as close as he could get with the console in between you two.

“God, no,” he started, taking your hand and pressing it against his chest, using his free one to push your hair behind your ear and cup your cheek, “you are everything I want in life. You. Only you. Please,” his voice was breaking, cracking with strain as he let his thumb ghost across your lips, “please know that I love you.”

You stared at him. For as long as you could recall, you watched, breathed him in, let your forehead rest against his and inhaled everything. You could have stayed like that forever, in his touch, with his body so close to yours it was as if you were one, his breath fanning across your lips and reminding you of the reasons you were with him in the first place. He was everything to you, and more, and you’d learned your lesson the last time you lost him to never let him go again.

And so you didn’t.

You pressed your lips to his, and let yourself melt into his touch, savoring the way his lips molded perfectly into yours and sent shocks of electricity across your body. It was something you would never get used to- the way you reacted so fervently to him. Keening, clawing, prying, you groped at his body for more, yearned for his skin against yours as you opened yourself up to him, pulled him deeper into you, and tasted him longer on your tongue.

It hurt, and you were in pain, and the tears still threatened the back of your eyes, and the creature still clawed at your chest as he clawed at your hips, but you held it back. Held it back because you were willing to put it all behind you if it meant starting over, if it meant finally being happy again, finally having him again.

In the elevator you were feverish, tugging at the bottom of his shirt like your life depended on it, heart cracking beneath the pressure of his hands but being glued back together by the pressure of his lips on your skin. You were overwhelmed, with both pain and passion, and you’d decided it was time the pain faded away, that it was time for you to finally submerge yourself back into your marriage and to stop letting the past control everything.

You couldn’t help it anymore, couldn’t stop the way you felt as if your world was going to implode on itself if you weren’t on him, if you weren’t latched so tightly onto him you would fly away without him as your tether. Because even after everything, after the way you’d been ripped apart piece by piece until you were nothing but snowflakes melting into the concrete, you forced yourself whole. You decided to swim to the top of the ocean, decided to cling onto him as he kept you afloat.

You decided it was time to live again.

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