#chanting GOOP!4 GOOP!4
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y̶͙̍o̶̳̚ṵ̶́r̵͓͗ ̵͚̔m̷͖̋o̴̳͆v̵̧̓e̴̦̒ ̴͕́S̵̭̎M̵͙̓G̶̖͘4̷̬̆
IGBP REFERENCES & CONNECTIONS IN "THE MARIO PC VIRUS" EPISODE
[spoilers ahead]
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Ambition
the project SMG4 is working on and motive
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 0:10]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 0:56]
"Say the line, SMG4!"
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 0:10]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 0:20]
Need Some Editing Help?
Computer buddy
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 2:04 to 2:25]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 4:02 to 4:19]
Leave A Note
oh hey, Windows Notepad
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 2:28 to 2:43]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 4:02 to 4:19]
(and the fact that SMG4 uses a Windows PC ~Ink)
Every Mario's Worried for SMG4
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 3:28]
[SMG4: Mario Steals The Constitution // timestamp 2:50]
A Loss of Work and Patience
An event cuts off Four from his progress and noise being what ultimately pushes him to take action
Plus, Mario Buddy plays "relaxing" music for SMG4, which 4 is not a fan
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 3:30 to 3:50]
SMG4: "SHUT UP!! CAN YOU ALL SHUT UP?!?! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!"
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 3:25 to 3:55]
They're Always Watching
File Names (as much as I could decipher) from left to right, top to bottom:
[Default]
Blue Screen
Green Screen
Pure Red Screen
Pure Green Screen
Pure Blue Screen
Green 1
Green 2
purple 1
purple 1\puzzle
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 6:11]
Left to right, top to bottom:
[Default]
Blue Screen
Pure Red Screen
Pure Green Screen
Pure Blue Screen
green screen
purple screen
vn
vnooom(??)
name(??)
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 1:07 to 1:09, 2:44]
(Gonna do a whole theory dedicated to Goop!4 and bring back my analysis of the eye designs ~Ink, again)
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie]
PC Takeover Through Mother Board and Mind
Four's PC controlling its system vs the PC controlling Four
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 0:05 to 0:10, 8:03 to 8:16]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect Movie Countdown stream]
Did Somebody Call For (Military) Backup?
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 9:30 to 13:53]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 13:39 to 13:53]
A Sacrifice
Time, sweat, and tears went into his work but he was forced to left behind (the virus, to save 3)
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 11:58]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 1:07 to 1:09, 2:44]
Your End of the Deal
a deal offered through the computer buddy to aid Four's work but they demand something in return (star of Four's videos vs. control over Four)
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 12:06 to 12:40]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 30:58 to 31:11]
The Choice
knowing his self-worth :)
[The Mario PC Virus // timestamp 12:44 to 12:50]
[It's Gotta Be Perfect movie // timestamp 34:00 to 35:00]
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Ink here! That's all the ones I could find, but if I missed one, let me know, and I'll add it to the list. Four has really come a long way, and, believe it or not, he learned his lesson from IGBP.
Of course, he accidentally installed Mario Buddy, not a suspicious keyboard offered by Mr Puzzles. But once he realized what he had done, he tried everything he could to get rid of the program (after some fun).
By the end, when Bonzi offered to give Four's files back while in turn allowing the PC buddy to be the star of his video, Four had a choice. Past Four wouldn't have hesitated because that literally was his work. I've been in a situation like this and golly, I would've done anything to get it all back. Instead, Four gave his PC up, similar to how Four gave up the USB with the perfect video (one he has worked on for WEEKS nonstop) to save SMG3.
(...should I even count all the scenes where SMG4 and SMG3 caring for one another?)
AND despite everything, he is still SMG4, a content creator with the wish to make people happy. Well, of course he wants his videos to be higher quality. It's his job as a YT creator and meme guardian, you can't just ask him to NOT make videos. The whole reason IGBP happened in the first place is because he felt that he wasn't good enough for his friends, driving himself to be perfect to prove that he deserves the Crew. But lesson learned, through Three's speech: he doesn't need to be perfect, his friends will always be there for him regardless. They care for him and it was worth risking their lives to save him from the possession.
He can always make another video but they can't have another SMG4.
Whatever his next big project is (the Castle, Meme Factory, videos in general), he'll do it with passion but never alone. Just as Four said at the end of IGBP: "...it may be different, but as long as we're all together, I'm sure it's gonna be perfect!"
So, he made his choice, giving up his PC because there is nothing to prove to anyone.
so.... SMG4 Team....
WHAT'S WITH THE IGBP CALLBACKS—
#smg4#smg4 its gotta be perfect#smg4 igbp#smg4 spoilers#puzzlevision 2#goop!SMG4#ink rambles#chanting GOOP!4 GOOP!4
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Where it all began
For the prompt- bewitched- i decided to write a theory story i had. basically nightmare wanted to be a witch at one point which is what lead to him becoming cursed to be a demon. this story isnt canon, its just an idea that would make the storyline Ever so angsty. i mean, if nightmare used to want to be a witch, but it lead to something painful then he gave it up, what will he feel when he meets Ink?! anyway here’s the story, i hope you like it! moon blossom character belong to @somebodyalreadytookthis2 Nightmare and Dream belong to @jokublog
-ThatDorkyDork
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It was a night like any other. Dream had gone to bed hours prior, and night laid there awaiting his chance. once he could see the moon through the curtains, he moved. He pulled himself out from under his covers and made his way across the floor of the room he shared with his twin brother. the wall was covered in light blues and deep violets, lined with ever so shimmery gold trim. their room in the castle was designed for them the stormy night they were born. as nightmare made his way down the hall of the large castle, passing the large murals of past wars the kingdom had won, and paintings of great passed rulers, he came across the room he desired. The library. He knew this library like the back of his hand. every book in here, and knowing exactly what one he wanted. Nightmare fingered the engraved number plates on each shelf as he passed, looking for the aisle of which held the book he sought after. if anyone knew what he was doing tonight, he would be shunned from the kingdom forever. the book he was after, was none other than a book of witchcraft. Highly frowned upon, and yet, nightmare convinced the librarians to not get rid of it, claiming that it was safer here than in the hands of a real witch. little did they know, nightmare wanted to be a witch. He found the aisle that had the book he wanted. it was caged off. of course it was. with a heavy sigh, he made his way to the librarian's desk. three librarians would shift out through the day time, but at night nobody was there. the only people in the library would be the royals, so there was no need for people to watch the book s that the royals themselves owned! night found the key sitting in a drawer. clutching it, he went back down to the caged aisle. Nightmare unlocked the door and stepped in. the aisle was filled with exotic books, books most royals thought were too expensive, but nightmare insisted to have them. after all, a knowledgable kingdom is one not to mess with. night found the bound leather spellbook and clutched it. the bindings were becoming a bit lose, but the book was still fully intact. Opening it, he flipped through the pages for the spell he was planning to do. the result of the spell was somewhat unknown, but it was said to give unworldly power. Night was doing this spell in hopes it would give him the skills he needed to become a better witch. he looked through the list of ingredients, a crystal of birthstone, check, he had a ruby and a topaz. the traditional and modern birthstones. next, was a jar of moon water, which he had sitting out for himself where he would do the spell. the rest of the materials include 4 candles of dark color, one light blue candle, chalk grains, elemental objects, a silver bowl, and a mixture of eucalyptus oil, willow bark, rose petals, and spearmint leaves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ once nightmare was at his safe place, sitting by the largest tree in the royal garden surrounded by other large trees, he began setting up the spell. he made a circle with the chalk grains, lit the candles, set the elemental objects in their respective positions of north, east, south, and west, and set his materials in the circle with him, he began opening the circle. He first called out for the elemental gods, then the moon goddess Luna,the sky goddess, and father earth. He pulled out his birthstone necklaces and put them on. opening the book, he began the spell. pouring the moon water into the bowl while reciting the chant from the book. he added the mixed ingredients, and lite the light blue candle. while reciting the last chant of the spell, all the dark-colored candles went out, leaving the light blue one, with a blue flame. nightmare shuttered. light blue flames meant ghosts nearby, but he still had to finish the spell. he took the mixture and poured in over himself, dousing his head to toe from a single bowl. he picked up the light blue candle and blew it out. Suddenly, the pain set in. he could feel every bone in his body twitch and beg to break. everything hurt, every spot the liquid mixture touched was burning in pain. nightmare was in so much pain, it consumed his mind. he just wanted it to end, and soon enough it did when he passed out.
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Nightmare awoke, the sun pouring through the curtains into the room him and dream shared. It was morning? How? was it just a bad dream? nightmare sat up, and immediately felt pain in his back. "maybe I just slept wrong on my mattress...." he mumbled to himself. Nightmare stood up and stumbled around a little from the dreariness, accidentally stepping on something. it was what looked like a crown with spiky points around the entire brim. with a heavy sigh, he set it on his bed stand and went off to have breakfast. as he walked away, a small bit of goop dripped off the crown and onto the bed stand.
#nightmare#Moon Blossom#Witch#spells#spell#goopmare#nightmare sans#ThatDorkyDork#Lore the Skeleton#MB nightmare#MB week challenge
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I Am Creativity (Chapter 2/5)
Crossposted on AO3 under the same name! A/N - This fic includes my theory/hc for what the orange side will be (Passion/Obsession). I don’t elaborate too much on him, but just to clarify, that’s who he is.
The spectators watched as a bell rang and the timer started counting down. The twins sprinted to their respective towers, creating things out of thin air as they went. As they would expect, Roman’s army consisted of knights dressed in shining white armor and various mythical creatures. They couldn’t see Remus’s side as clearly, but what they could see was eldritch abominations with too many eyes and too many limbs.
Patton had curled his knees up to his chest, covering his eyes and peeking through his fingers to block out Remus’s creations, which made him sick to his stomach. Virgil and Logan were both leaning forward, fixated on the viewing screens for very different reasons.
“This is bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad…” Virgil kept repeating, breaths coming quicker. Logan leaned over and put his hand over Virgil’s, tapping out a 4-7-8 rhythm to try and keep him calm.
“He will be fine, Virgil. He’s Creativity, he’s stronger than any of us are here. This is his domain – I’m confident he will be victorious.” His voice was calm, but Virgil knew his heart was racing just as fast as his own.
“Don’t lie to me. You didn’t live with Remus, Logan, he’s… demented. Just look at what he’s coming up with!”
“And Roman is doing the same. They both operate on the same rules, Virgil, and one of those is that the Imagination is just that – imaginative. It’s not real.”
A wet roar echoed across the field, as well as a high-pitched laugh from Remus’s side of the field. Three minutes had already passed.
“Oh god oh god oh god!” Virgil felt his heart jump into his throat and he quickly covered his ears and closed his eyes, blocking out all images and trying to keep his own imagination under control. He needed to calm down – Thomas would have a panic attack at this rate, and considering his host wasn’t actually doing anything to deserve it, he really didn’t want it to come to that.
He felt arms around his shoulders and a chin resting on his head. When he opened his eyes, Virgil saw light blue and looked up to see Patton standing behind his chair, hugging him from behind. He was smiling, but his eyes were watering and lip quivering.
“It’s ok, Virgil. Roman’s so strong, he’ll win this without even a scratch!” Patton’s voice cracked at the end, and he swallowed and pushed his smile wider.
“Patton…”
“So don’t worry, ok? Remember, he’s just as powerful as we think he is – if we believe in him, then he can win!”
Virgil looked back at the field. Five minutes left, and there were now dozens of different creations on both sides. He changed a look at the viewing screen and saw Roman inside his tower, fortifying the doors with metal bars and hulking, armored guards. He was concentrating, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth, but what really confused Virgil was that Roman seemed to be… smiling?
“He looks like he’s having fun.” Logan remarked calmly. “Perhaps we should just sit back and enjoy the fruits of Roman’s hard work.”
Patton sighed, nodding. “You’re… probably right.”
Virgil’s hand shot out and grabbed Patton’s before he could return to his own chair. “Um… stay?” The anxious side tapped on the chair and it shifted into a large, plush bean bag more than big enough for two. Patton smiled and plopped down beside Virgil, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulders.
“We can cheer him on together.”
“He’s an idiot.”
“And you didn’t know this before?”
Deceit sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I thought there was still a little common sense left in that twisted head of his. I was clearly wrong.”
Obsession tilted his head, glancing over at the field and surveying the multitudes of disgusting creatures that were standing on Remus’s side, growling and slobbering everywhere. “And we both know how well you take to being wrong.”
Deceit glared at him out of the corner of his eye. “And you do?”
“I don’t sulk in my room for days when I don’t get my way.”
“No, you just throw yourself into the next show and fill your brain with garbage.”
Obsession just laughed, stretching his arms high into the air and laying back on the blanket, blades of grass tickling his arms through the thin material. “Just ‘cause you don’t see the genius in what I do doesn’t change the fact that Thomas loves it when I do my job. Unlike someone else I know.” He closed his eyes against the bright sun, soaking in the warmth that never made its way into their corner of the mind. Deceit growled and said things Obsession was sure were very pleasant words for him under his breath.
“Besides, who said you were wrong?”
“What? Have you been paying attention?”
“Have you? Deceit, as much as you love to think you’re the only one who can plot and plan… you’re not.”
Deceit stared at his fellow dark side, unconvinced. “When has Remus thought about or planned anything? He does whatever he wants, when he wants.”
Obsession sighed, rolling his eyes. He propped himself up on one elbow and stared at Deceit. “What would you call this, then?” The orange clad side waved towards the field, where they could see Remus ducking behind various barricades and creating new monsters.
“What’s your point?” Deceit narrowed his eyes. Obsession shrugged.
“Just that, maybe you shouldn’t underestimate him so much. Don’t forget, I’ve known him a lot longer than you have, and I knew him as a kid. Let me tell you… he’s a lot smarter than you seem to think he is.”
“If you’re so smart, why don’t you tell me what he’s really planning, then?” Deceit asked sarcastically. “Since you can clearly read his mind and all that. What’s the point of fighting a battle you know you can’t win?”
Obsession yawned, glancing at the clock. Thirty seconds to go. From what he understood, as soon as the timer hit zero, it would be an all-out battle royale. They couldn’t create anything past the time, relying only on their current creations. On Remus’s side was a huge, fleshy dragon with eyes all over his body, two heads and two sets of wings curled up on the top of his tower, puffing out black smoke from its nostrils. The rest of his army seemed to follow a similar theme; nothing that Obsession could see had the correct number of limbs.
Roman, on the other hand, had gone with a strength in numbers strategy. There were hundreds of white knights covering every inch of his side. The side himself was standing on the roof of his tower, head tilted up to watch the timer count down to zero.
“Maybe… winning for Roman, and winning for Remus, means two different things.”
Before Deceit could ask what he meant by that, a sharp bell rang out over the field, and the real fight began.
~~~
Looking over the battlefield as the fight began, Roman felt confident. Sure, the monsters his brother had come up with were disgusting, and the dragon on his tower was terrifying, but he outnumbered his brother’s army 5 to 1. They were smaller, yes, but that meant they were faster and quieter. Not to mention they could hide.
His hand hovered over his own sword hilt, ready to draw it at a moment’s notice. He had guards stationed around the tower and within the stairs themselves, but he couldn’t trust that to protect him.
There was an ear-splitting screech from above him and he drew his sword just as a multi-headed falcon dived at him, effectively cutting itself in two as it attacked. It fell to the ground with a plop, and exploded into black dust.
Like he was saying, he had to be on guard. He glanced at the screen he’d conjured to monitor his own troops. Most were engaged with monsters triple their size, and there was white dust covering the grass. He pursed his lips as one of the creatures, something that resembled an armadillo if an armadillo had metal plating and was the size of a small house, grabbed one of his knights and threw it in its mouth, chopping down like it was a savory snack.
He hoped his friends would be able to handle watching this. Logan would probably find it fascinating, but all of this would be distressing for Patton and Virgil. He only hoped they knew that this was completely fake – if the dust their creations exploded into when they died didn’t make that clear. It was no different than a movie. The only person on his team who could feel any pain or get hurt was himself.
Maybe that was what they were worried about.
Roman tensed as he heard a ferocious roar split the air and saw the two headed dragon lift off from Remus’s tower. The beat of its wings flattened the grass underneath the tower, and as it took off the left head unhinged its jaw and sprayed a battalion of his knights with a thick, inky black substance.
“Ugh, leave it to him…” Roman muttered, gagging. Then the right head opened its maw and fire came spilling out. The black liquid covering his knights caught, and within moments they were nothing but dust, mixed with the oil-like substance to create a nasty gray goop.
Roman sucked in a breath through his teeth, and then saw the dragon turn its body towards his tower. “Nope, nope, nope!” He chanted, sprinting to the edge of the tower. Going down the stairs was too slow and too dangerous. Thankfully, the prince knew to always have an alternate escape route.
The creative side ran to a parapet where there were thick lengths of vine tied to the stone, dangling all the way to the ground. He grabbed the gloves he’d conjured for this very situation and slipped them on, then swung his leg over the edge and gripped the vine tightly. The dragon flew overhead and nearly blew him away with the strength of its wings, but he held fast. It made another pass as he was sliding down, and more oil spilled out of the left head’s mouth. It splattered all over him and steamed on his skin.
Worst of all, the oil got onto the vine and underneath his gloves. He started sliding faster, his grip faltering, and as the dragon got ready to torch him, he lost it altogether.
Roman landed hard on his back, and his lungs seized at the impact. The prince forced himself to his feet, gasping for air as the oil on the tower was lit up and he was forced to run to avoid the same fate.
He clutched his side as he ran. He didn’t think he’d broken a rib, but he certainly would have a nasty bruise. One of many to come, he’d wager. Roman ran to the side of the tower where he’d created a small oasis to house one of his secret weapons.
~~~
Remus had a wide, manic smile on his face. God, he hasn’t had this much fun in forever! He watched the flames consume Roman’s tower, and sent his dragon after him. He couldn’t see which direction his brother had run off in, but that didn’t matter too much to a fire breathing dragon. He’d burn the whole area down if he needed to – he would just return it to normal after the fight.
Then he caught something on the wind. A sound floating in the air - a song. He could barely hear it, but Remus noticed that his dragon was shaking its heads in confusion, trying to get away from whatever it was hearing. He tried to call it back, but his control had lapsed and it wouldn’t listen to him. The creature raged, spewing oil and fire into the sky before crashing against the force field surrounding their arena and exploding into dust.
Silence fell over the field, and the twins realized that this round was over, with both left standing. They reconvened in the center after they cleared their areas of all leftover debris.
Remus crossed his arms and looked Roman over smugly. “You’ve lost your touch. You didn’t even manage a single hit on me!”
Roman huffed, keeping a hand on his hip to try and subtly keep pressure on his side without letting his brother know he was hurt. “Neither did you. Are you even trying? That was such a boring round, I nearly fell asleep!”
“Oh, alright, then let’s make things quick! Ten minutes, and this time it won’t be a warmup!” Remus cheered, pointing at the clock above them and resetting the time, which immediately started counting down. Roman squawked in protest but Remus just laughed and ran off, leaving the prince standing there with his side aching and the clock ticking down.
“What are you doing, Princey? Move!!” He heard Virgil’s voice scold him in his head, and that jolted him enough to head back to his own tower, newly reformed, and come up with another plan of attack.
~~~
“He looks tired...” Patton said quietly, watching through the screen as Roman went about preparing for the second round. “He’s holding his side... do you think he’s hurt?”
“He did fall a distance when escaping from the tower, it’s possible he’s injured one or more of his ribs.”
The moral side let out a strangled cry, cupping his hands over his mouth to try and keep it in. Virgil stared at the back of Logan’s head with wide eyes. “Logan, do you even care?!”
“Of course I do. But Roman did very well in that last round. He ended it with a tie, and now he surely has a better idea of Remus’s strategies. Now he’s able to incorporate that knowledge into this next round.”
“That’s all good in theory, but look at him! He doesn’t exactly look like he’s up for another fall from the tower!” Virgil pointed at the screen, where Roman was leaning up against a tree, eyes closed and chest heaving.
“Creating takes energy. But the same goes for his opponent. I’m sure Remus is just as tired as Roman is.”
“Yeah but, Logan, he might hurt himself if he’s too tired. Can’t we just... stop this?”
“I doubt either of them would allow that at this point. We simply need to... ride it out, so to speak. And provide him support from here.”
Patton whined, shifting to bury his face against Virgil’s neck. Virgil patted his shoulder awkwardly, watching in silence as Roman ducked in and out of view on the screen. Instead of a relatively open field like he’d made before, now he was growing a thick forest with a canopy so thick it cast dark shadows across the creative side’s face.
“What is he doing? Remus literally made a fire-breathing dragon last time, that forest is just going to burn!” Virgil said, crossing his arms. As he said it, Roman stumbled and fell, to loud gasps. There wasn’t sound from their viewing screens, but as the creative side stood back up they could hear him shouting and cursing in his Disney way as water dripped down his face and his clothes were soaking wet.
“I believe he’s already thought of that, Virgil.”
Despite himself, the anxious side couldn’t help but snicker.
“Idiot.”
~~~
Remus shifted his weight back and forth, tapping the handle of his morningstar impatiently. The time was nearly out, but he hadn’t seen his brother emerge from the dense forest he’d created.
He cocked his head and the corners of his mouth twitched into a devious grin. So, he wanted to play hide and seek? That was fine with him – he’d just have to smoke him out.
The timer hit zero and the signal blared. Remus raised an arm and shouted, sending his misshapen, vaguely humanoid army running forward. He heard cries of shock and disgust from the sidelines and smirked – they just didn’t appreciate the human body in its most natural form!
Remus put his fingers to his mouth and let out a shrill whistle, and after a moment the buzz of huge insect wings echoed from behind him. Without even looking, he hopped onto the giant dragonfly and lifted into the air, leading the charge towards the forest.
An unstable laugh ripped its way from his chest and Remus relished this feeling, of the adrenaline rushing through his veins and the wind tearing his hair every which way. He pointed down at the center of the forest and his mount rained fire onto the lush greenery below. The trees caught instantly, and Remus laughed as they turned from green to pure black, fading into dust and ash in their air. His brother was down there somewhere, and he would find him, and finally…
There was an explosion, and Remus nearly lost his balance as a geyser erupted right next to him, showering him with freezing water. His dragonfly mount dodged to the side, its wings damp and heavy. He looked down at the forest to see his glorious fire had all but disappeared, drenched by the multiple streams of water that had exploded into the air.
Remus sneered. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. He shook his head and let water droplets fly before commanding the dragonfly to hover over the forest, jumping into a tree and climbing down to the forest floor.
It was quiet. The duke took a few steps forward, trying to see around the thick tree trunks. He snickered quietly to himself. That would be a good one for Thomas later.
His boots squished into a puddle of something and Remus lifted his boot to examine it. There was a watery black liquid seeping into his shoe, and the dark side realized that it was the dust of his creations that had mixed with the water from the geyser.
He looked around again. What had happened? He’d made his own army fireproof, so they couldn’t have burned from him, and there was nothing around here that explained what could have destroyed them.
The duke set his jaw. Well then, maybe his brother was capable of playing a little dirty. He grabbed his morningstar and rested it over his shoulder, following the faint buzz of insect wings to find his way out, using his weapon to whack any tree branches or loose brush out of his path.
Instead, Remus found his way into a clearing of trees, with a fake mesh of leaves cast over the top to disguise it from above. The trees surrounding the area were twisted together, branches forming a protective barrier to keep people out. But then, it also meant that it could keep people in.
“Oh Roman!~ I know you’re here! You’re just too predictable!” Remus called out, swinging his morningstar back and forth. “Come on, let’s just get this over with, you’re clearly not fit to be Thomas’s Creativity if you’re hiding from little old me!”
There was a laugh from across the clearing, and Remus saw a poorly defined shadow sitting in one of the trees. “I thought you were a little smarter than to just walk into something like this! I mean, come on Rem, this is obviously a trap!”
Remus heard a strange creaking from behind him and a tree branch suddenly snaked its way around his waist and lifted him off the ground. His morningstar clattered to the ground and he cursed wildly, flailing his legs to no avail. Of course, moving trees! That must have been what the whole forest was made of!
The prince hopped down from the tree and strutted over, hands on his hips and a triumphant smirk on his face. “I can’t believe that worked as well as it did. Seriously? I pulled this same trick when we were kids!”
Remus winced in pain, though he tried to hide it with a wide toothed smile. “Who says this isn’t exactly what I wanted to happen?”
Roman rolled his eyes and drew his sword, ready to end this fight.
Remus winced again, gritting his teeth. He kicked his feet forward and caught Roman’s shoulder, shoving him back. The momentum loosened the branch’s hold on his waist and he dropped out of its grip.
The dark side grinned, rolling and grabbing the handle of his morningstar. Roman stumbled, head snapping up just as Remus swung upwards, upper cutting his chin with the heavy weapon. Warmth blossomed in his mouth as he bit down hard on his cheek and blood poured onto his tongue.
Roman fell onto his back, head spinning. He blinked stars out of his vision and was met with a maniacal smile aimed down at him. Remus raised his morningstar above his head, and Roman willed his leaden limbs to move. He couldn’t let this happen – He was Prince Roman, he could not be defeated like this!
The prince twisted his entire body, using the momentum to throw his arm up and swipe at Remus with his sword. His grip was terrible, but it would do. Remus jumped back and dropped his weapon behind him, but he wasn’t fast enough as the blade’s edge ripped through him.
Literally, through him. Roman, expecting resistance and finding none, was carried by his momentum and rolled onto his stomach. He pushed himself to his knees and spat red into the grass, staring wide-eyed at his brother. “You just… I hit you! That’s not fair!”
“No you didn’t!” Remus laughed, dancing away and laughing. Roman stood slowly, unsteady on his feet and using his sword to stabilize himself.
“Yes, I did. How did you do that? My sword went straight through you!”
Remus shrugged, retrieving his morningstar. “You didn’t hit me, Roman, what can I say?” He smirked, slinging it over his shoulders.
The prince shook his head, prodding at his sore chin and checking for blood. “You can say that you cheated!”
“I didn’t cheat, there’s nothing in the rules about dodging an attack!”
“That wasn’t dodging, you went full on ghost mode! I didn’t even know we could do that!”
“You can’t…” Remus said under his breath. Then he huffed and rolled his eyes. “Fiiiine, if you really think I cheated, we’ll call this one a draw. And you know what? I’ll even let you take a break, you look like you’re ready to crawl into a hole and die.”
Roman growled, straightening his back despite his body’s protest. “Oh yeah? What’s the matter, scared that I’ll beat you like this?”
Remus just laughed and turned on his heel, waving an arm over the forest around him and making it disappear into dust that glittered in the wind. “Third times a charm, Roman, but who’s charm will it be?”
The prince watched his brother dissipate his creations, feeling weight lift from his body as the strain of keeping it up lightened. He sighed in relief, turning to go back to his friends and sit for a moment.
“Roman!” Worried voices called as he approached the pavilion, and he subtly tried to spit another mouthful of blood into the grass before he got too close. Patton ran up to him, checking over his face and wiping away the blood dripping down his chin with the edge of his cardigan sleeve.
“Pat, your sweater-“
“That’s not important! Roman, don’t ever do that again! I nearly passed out!” Patton scolded, though its impact was lessened slightly by the crack in his voice and tears in his eyes.
“Is your chest alright? I saw you holding it earlier.” Logan asked, stepping forward and pulling Patton away from his fussing calmly. Roman gently prodded the sore spot and nodded, wincing.
“Just a bruise, I don’t think anything’s broken.” Not that he would tell them if it was. He had to finish this, but if Patton knew he’d gotten hurt that bad, he’d drag Roman to his room and make him stay there for a week. Logan nodded, not fully convinced.
“And your head?” Virgil interjected. “I saw you spit blood, Princey, you’re not ok!”
“Yes, I am! That hit just made me bite my cheek and it bled a little, ok?” Roman opened his mouth to show them that the bleeding had already stopped. “I’m fine. I just need to sit for a minute and then I’m gonna kick his butt into next week!”
The other three shared a look.
“Roman, you... don’t have to do this alone.”
“I know I’m not as good with the Imagination as you are, but if I could just do something to help!” Patton pleaded. Roman shook his head, then groaned at the action.
“No... No, I can’t risk you guys getting hurt. Besides, this is between us. This is what everything’s been leading to, all these years. It’s the only fitting end for the two of us. Ever since we were kids...”
He trailed off. Patton bit his lip, glancing at Logan who sighed quietly. Virgil looked between the two of them, confused.
“This is my fight. I appreciate you guys wanting to help me, I do, but... this isn’t something you can really help with. We need to settle our differences, and this... is really the only way we know how.”
“Violence should not be the answer!”
“There is no other answer with Remus. What I need right now is to come up with a plan. A strategy. Logan?”
The logical side adjusted his glasses, taking in how battered and exhausted Roman looked. He was struggling to even stand - Logan doubted he was up for creating much more.
“Leave it to me.”
~~~
“You hesitated.”
Remus tilted his head at Obsession, who was staring at him evenly. “Whatever do you mean?”
“When you were standing over Roman. You could have finished it right there. But you didn’t.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact. Deceit nodded, eyes narrowed as he tried to search Remus’s face for answers he was not going to give.
The dark side of creativity threw his head back and laughed. “I think you need your eyes checked, Obsession.”
The orange clad side adjusted his glasses. “I may be blind, but I’m not stupid. I know you, Remus, and I know what you’re capable of. You’re going easy on him.”
Remus just rolled his eyes and looked over at Deceit with an amused smile. “Can you believe him? Have I ever gone easy on anyone?”
Deceit smiled. “I’ve never seen it before. Tell me, do you have a plan for this round? You know, it’s cruel to keep dragging it out like this.”
Remus pursed his lips and shrugged. “I’ll just do whatever I feel like!”
“Nothing new then. Come on now, Obsession and I are getting incredibly bored over here, can’t you do something interesting?” Deceit leaned forward, chin in his hand. Remus tapped his morningstar against his hand, thinking, but as the other dark sides watched, the handle missed his hand and swung down to the ground. Remus stumbled, planting it on the ground to regain his balance and leaning against it.
No, Deceit realized. He didn’t miss catching it. It had gone straight through his hand. And now, Remus’s face seemed to be glowing. It took a moment to realize that it wasn’t his complexion, but rather the sun shining down and somehow through him.
“Well, I should get back to it. This will be the last round, so you two just sit tight, alright? This’ll be quick.”
“Are you sure this is what you want, Remus?” Obsession asked quietly. The dark side chuckled, turning away from them.
“You couldn’t have asked that a bit sooner? It’s a little too late to back out now. I’m out of time, we’re finishing this now!” The creative side turned and shouted to his brother in the pavilion, pointing back at the field with vigor. There was a call back, and Roman started back towards the field.
Deceit watched him walk away, morningstar swinging at Remus’s hip, and sighed. “Looks like you were right.”
Obsession stifled a snicker. “I think I just heard your ego shatter, Dee.” He then grew somber, watching Remus walk away. “That was it, wasn’t it?”
The lying side nodded, picking at the edge of his gloves. “We’re not going to see him after this.”
He hummed in agreement, pushing up his glasses and rubbing at his eyes. The side glanced at Deceit. “You gonna miss him?”
Deceit smiled. “Absolutely not.”
“Hmph. Liar.”
~~~
The twins agreed on fifteen minutes to prepare, and the onlookers noticed a distinct difference between their strategies. As soon as the timer started Roman had darted onto his own side and into his tower, hiding what he was creating from his brother.
Meanwhile, Remus was leisurely wandering around his side, absently growing a wall or creating a gruesome creature every so often. He carried an air of indifference, a change from his eagerness from before. He stood tall, but the dark sides sitting on the sidelines knew, perhaps instinctively, that something was off.
The former dark side sitting with Logan and Patton noticed it too. While his friends’ eyes were glued to the screen, watching Roman put his plan into action, Virgil kept his eyes locked on Deceit and Obsession.
He couldn’t tell exactly from where he was sitting, but the look on Deceit’s face almost looked… disappointed? Upset, even? It had to be an act, Virgil had never known the lying side to show his emotions clearly. Has Remus said something during the little break?
Deceit’s head turned towards the pavilion, and Virgil’s head snapped back to the screen, heart racing. Did he know he was being watched? No, it must have just been a coincidence.
Still though, he didn’t look back over after that. Just in case.
“Is he gonna make it?” Patton’s voice brought Virgil back to the present, and he glanced up at the screen.
“It’s going to be close... as long as he followed the structure I set, he should be fine. He should have created his most important pieces first. The rest is additional support.” Logan tapped his chin, eyes locked on the screen.
“Thirty seconds left...”
Roman looked up from his work and clapped his hands, smiling.
“He’s done!” Patton cheered, leaping from his seat and throwing his hands in the air. Virgil saw a small smile grow on Logan’s face.
“He’s still got to actually do the fight, you know, he’s not done yet.” Virgil added.
“Everything will be alright, Virgil.” Logan reassured before the bell rang out over the field, and they all leaned into the screen. This was it.
~~~
Roman’s chest was heaving. Even though he hadn’t created nearly as much as he had the past two rounds, his entire body was screaming at him to stop, to let it go and rest. He leaned heavily against the parapet, commanding his knights to march forward onto Remus’s side.
His brother’s side of the field was suspiciously barren; even with Roman’s lack of energy, he’d managed to create dozens more than his brother. Yet, the dark creative side wasn’t showing any signs of exhaustion or pain that Roman was feeling. He wasn’t even barricading himself in his tower!
Instead, he wandered around his side of the field casually, his morningstar stuck through his belt. Roman kept a careful eye on him as he sent his knights forward, taking out the few monsters blocking the way.
The dark side didn’t seem worried, and as Roman’s front lines advanced, he realized why.
An ear-splitting explosion rocked the Imagination, and both Roman and the spectators alike slapped their hands to their ears. The only one unbothered was Remus, who merely started laughing as he saw Roman’s first line of troops reduced to white dust.
The prince’s eyes widened. Shit, he had explosives planted? No wonder he didn’t have monsters above ground - the real danger was below!
His knuckles went white from gripping the stone of the tower. Logan had taken a lot of things into account but landmines hadn’t been one!
Roman closed his eyes, willing his army forward. He refused to split them into smaller groups, even though it would mean he would lose less to an explosion. As long as he could just get one group through, that would be enough.
Another explosion shook the field, and Roman winced at the puff of white smoke that rose into the air. Two down. It was fine, he mumbled to himself. His secret weapon was still in play.
A grotesque creature that looked to be part snake, part tentacled monster slithered up behind Remus. The dark side glanced back at it for a moment curiously. Roman’s heart was racing. Just a little more...
Remus turned away as another, smaller explosion shook the ground. As his eyes turned towards the horizon, the monster shifted into one of Roman’s white knights holding a morningstar high above its head.
Even if the dark sides had wanted to warn him, there wasn’t a moment to cry out before the knight swung, clocking Remus on the side of his head. The dark side’s eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed onto the ground, unmoving. A bell rang out after a few moments.
It was over. Roman had won.
The wall around the field dissipated, and the rest of the twins’ creations crumbled to dust, leaving Remus curled up on the ground and Roman bent over, breathing hard but still standing.
The light sides ran over to him, with Patton tacking Roman in a hug and lifting him off the ground. Roman groaned, his ribs screaming in agony.
“P-Pat! Easy! Chest!”
Patton gasped and let him down, hands moving to grip his arms carefully. “Sorry, kiddo! I’m just so proud of you!”
That nearly made Roman burst into tears right then and there, and he ducked his head to hide his face. “Thanks, padre. I... I’m... I did it.”
“Yeah, you did. Don’t do it again.” Virgil warned, hands in his pockets. Roman just laughed, slinging an arm around Virgil’s shoulders and bringing the anxious side into a one-armed hug.
“Aw, you can say you were worried about me, storm cloud!”
“Of course I was...” Virgil mumbled into his chest, returning the hug quickly before stepping back. Logan put his hand on Roman’s shoulder, a rare smile on his face.
“Well done, Roman.”
The creative side blushed - it was high praise from Logan. “Thanks, teach.”
“So, does this mean you’re Thomas’s only Creativity now?” Patton glanced over to the other side of the field, where Remus was lying. His voice was quiet. “What... what will happen to him?”
Logan pursed his lips. “It will not be good for Thomas to only have ‘good’ imagination,” he put air quotes around the word good. “It will be up to Roman to take over Remus’s responsibilities as well as his own.”
“But... Roman’s Thomas’s good creativity! How is he supposed to do that?!”
The logical side huffed. “Patton, I’ve said this before, but things are not that simple. Life is not black and white and although it might be a difficult task for Roman at the beginning, it will be dangerous for Thomas if he doesn’t!”
“Logan, Roman’s not going to be able to do that!” Virgil piped up.
Roman tuned his friends out, eyes darting between the dark sides still sitting on their blanket, and his brother lying on the ground. Somehow, it didn’t surprise him that Deceit and Obsession hadn’t moved from their spot, and seemed to not even be bothered that Remus was still unconscious on the ground.
Roman huffed, and held his head high as he walked over to his brother, who was staring up at the sky with a glassy expression. Roman leaned down and offered him a hand.
“Come on, get up.”
The dark side blinked. “What?”
Roman rolled his eyes, reaching down and grabbing his brothers hands, trying to pull him to his feet. “Would you rather lay there and get your outfit dirty? I’m trying to be nice.”
Remus allowed himself to be pulled into a sitting position, but refused to go any further. “Why?”
The light side huffed, hands on his hips. “Because that’s what a prince does, got it? It was a close game and I wanted to thank you. It was... fun.”
Remus blinked. “You... thought it was... fun?”
“Well, not all of it, but... well, it’s like you said. Old times, right?” Roman scratches the back of his neck, looking away as Remus got onto his feet unsteadily. “You fought well.”
The dark side stared at him, chest heaving. “I...”
Roman grinned, meeting Remus’s incredulous stare. “I can’t believe this, you’re actually speechless. You haven’t stopped talking since you showed up.”
“Roman...”
He opened his mouth to respond, but Remus suddenly threw his arms tightly around Roman’s shoulders, and the prince tensed.
“What are you doing? I swear to everything if you stab me in the back I will...”
A faint laugh echoed in Roman’s ear, and Remus tightened his hug. “Not this time.”
After a moment, Roman relaxed and gingerly returned it. After several more tense moments, another whisper, this time so faint Roman barely caught what was said.
“Take care of Thomas.”
It took a moment for the words to register in his mind, but as soon as they were uttered, Remus’s steadfast grip disappeared completely and Roman’s arms closed in on himself, going straight through the side he’d just embraced.
“Remus, what—!”
The dark side smirked, stepping back despite Roman’s desperate attempts to grab him again. “It’s time. Have fun being Creativity.”
Then, as if he were simply one of Roman’s own creations, he disintegrated into shimmering white dust, carried away from Roman’s frozen form on a gentle breeze.
“R-Remus? Hey, this isn’t funny! Get back here! You can’t just... that can’t be... that’s it? All that and you just leave?! Remus, show yourself!”
Roman shouted into empty air, grasping at the dust that floated lazily around him, desperately hoping that his brother would reform if he could just gather it all.
His eyes and chest burned. For years he’d been dreaming of this moment, when he would finally vanquish the evil within Thomas and bring peace. But this felt nothing like those daydreams, where he touted his victory and swore that the other dark sides would be next. He didn’t feel happy or excited by this.
He felt devastated. His breath started coming faster until he was hyperventilating. Roman’s legs were jelly and he collapsed into a heap on the plush grass.
Remus was gone.
Half of Thomas’s Creativity was gone.
His brother was gone.
As soon as that thought hit him, he found he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and he sobbed freely, crying and pleading for the world to please just bring his annoying, crude, selfish brother back.
~~~
Patton and Logan sprinted to Roman’s side as soon as he collapsed, Patton offering a shoulder to cry on for the distraught prince. Virgil, on the other hand, had a bone to pick.
The anxious side stalked over to the tattered picnic blanket where Deceit and Obsession were chatting amongst themselves, as if they were out and about on a stroll rather than being moments after their supposed comrade and friend was turned to dust. Virgil stopped in front of Deceit, glaring down at him with hate in his eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?!”
Deceit glanced up casually, pursing his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I knew you were a cold hearted bastard but even you have to feel something about all this! You just lost Remus! He’s gone! Why are you just sitting here!?”
“Crying and screaming about it isn’t going to bring him back.” Deceit answered.
“Besides, Remus knew what he was getting into when he challenged Roman. If anything, he got what he deserved.” Obsession added, pushing his glasses up. Virgil’s chest was about to explode from rage.
“Got what he deserved!? God damn it Obsession, I knew he was a cruel asshole but I thought you were capable of some goddamn empathy!”
Obsession shrugged. “He got what he wanted. I don’t see why I should feel sorry for him.”
“Oh, I believe he got even more than what he wanted, if you want my honest opinion.” Deceit was smirking now, hand over his heart. Virgil took a step back, suddenly on guard.
“What do you mean?”
Obsession gestured behind Virgil. “See for yourself.”
Virgil was loath to turn his back on these two very large threats, but when he heard a scream not of anguish but of pure agony, he whipped around and his blood ran cold.
Roman was curled in on himself, hands over his ears, mouth open in a scream that he couldn’t force out. Patton tried to touch him but Roman jerked away as if burned by the touch. Virgil couldn’t move, until Deceit hissed from behind him.
“You were just calling us cruel for standing by while our friend died, but look at you. Frozen like a deer in headlights while poor Roman is in absolute agony. That’s not a very friendlike thing to do, Virgil.”
Virgil swallowed nasty words that he wanted to hurl at both of them and took off in a sprint, ignoring the laughter behind him.
“Roman!!” The anxious side screamed as he ran, forcing himself to go faster. When he reached the prince, his hands flew to his mouth in shock.
On the creative side’s pure white back, there was a stain of oily black over his heart. And before Virgil’s very eyes it began to spread out, edges blurring as it consumed the creative side entirely.
Roman seized, sucking in a breath before his eyes rolled back into his skull and he crumpled into a heap in Patton’s arms, the pain becoming too much.
“Roman!!!”
#sander sides fanfiction#remus sanders#roman sanders#deceit sanders#obsession sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders
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Malice Palace
Whump made at 4 a.m.
-0-0-0
They landed in wild's hyrule again, this time. Right next to the colosseum ruins, It wasn't long before they noticed the white Lynel roaring and charging straight for them.
"MOVE" Screamed legend
Everyone barreled to the side, everyone except for wild. The links watched in horror as wild played on the ground waiting for the lynel to rampage.
"WILD" Screamed hyrule
The lynel swung low, barely missing wild, he looked down and sound downward. Wild took out his royal guards sword, now adjusted by zelda to be exactly like the master sword, just not able to seal away the darkness. He swung up and sliced the lynels neck. Blood dripped as the lynel roared, wild rolled away and mounted the lynel as he switched to a savage lynel sword and struck down on the head, and jumped off to pull out a savage lynel bow with five fire arrows locked on. Releasing it, we continued this cycle until the lynel had vanished into purple and black smoke. Leaving with only a scratch, he collected the minerals, jewels, and weapons.
"Why did you do That?!" Screeched twilight as he shook wild
"They were controlled by calamity ganon, but now that he's gone. They're free to leave, but they resign their place until a traveler appears. And they won't stop until they kill them."
"THAT WAS SO COOL!" Wind called
Four and wind stares in awe, they quickly ran toward wild to check out his fresh weapons. But they didn't notice the goop called malice itching in front. Wild snaps his head for the two in joy but that joy quickly turned to horror
"WATCH OUT!" Wild Yelled
To late, wind and four fell in. The malice stung their skin being burned as their insides were being torn. Suffocating as they closed their eyes
The links were about to rush in but wild stopped them
He reaches his hand into the malice and feels around, until he finally feels a solid thing, he grabs it with both arms so deep in that his face is close to the malice, yanks him up.
"GET HIM TO THE LAKE"
They grab wind and start rushing him to the lake, wild feels around, feeling nothing he does the stupidest thing ever. He goes in deeper, so deep that his entire upper body is in the malice. He feels four and starts to drag himself out with four clutched close.
Ever wonder how the links survive the craziest stuff? With hylia's blessing they are immune to being turned into something by curse. Like how time was able to make to the kokiri village without turning into a Deku scrub or skull kid. And how Wild was able to walk on malice with sinking and being taken over. But the other links aren't immune to something out of their hyrule, if any other link except for time got stuck in the lost woods they would become a stalfos or Deku scrub.
Wild breathes out heavily, malice was suffocating, like concrete. He walks to the lake and jumps in, feeling the malice evaporate. He walked out to see wind and four still unconscious but no malice on them.
"Wild, what In the name of hylia was that?!" Legend practically yelled at him
Sky sent a quick glare to legend
"Malice, it can corrupt anything-"
"EVEN US?" Hyrule screeched
"Well yes-"
"Then why were able to stick in it with our a problem?" Warriors questioned
"It doesn't affect me, I guess while I was in the shrine of resurrection I was soaked in some anti malice liquid"
"Okay, but how do we save them?"
"POTIONS!"
"That won't do anything, my horse once got corrupted in malice and I gave it some potions, it didn't do anything but buy time"
"Can you help the-" twilight was cut off
"Well yes but no, I can save one"
"Why only 1?"
"My secret, we're running out of time"
"Give both of them a potion."
The rest panicked as they rummaged through their bags for potions. Wild on the other hand was chanting a few words. And on the spot a god Barrier was surrounding him and the 2 unconscious links
Forgive me, but i kind need help
Little guy, you don't need to do the ol' traveler chant
Well yes, daruk is right. But by now mipha would have said hi
Indeed she has been
Sorry, it just. The scent of malice is overwhelming
That would be my two problems. Who do I save?.
BANG BANG
Little guy, the big man keeps hitting my barrier
Uh- quickly who do I save
The younger one, he still has a life to live. If they're the same age then it is up to you.
I agree with urbosa for once, youths have much to see.
I guess I'll-
BANG BANG
Alright wind, don't die on me right now
Wild held a hand over wind chest a faint blue glowed with certainty that he would be healed. The light was so blinding not even wild couldn't keep his eyes open. The barrier broke as time smashed it open wild was thrown back as it was now his will that was connected daruk's protection. so it technically isn't daruk's protection.
"What happened?" Wind asked
"You and four were corrupted" responded twilight
"GET AWAY FROM FOUR" screamed wild from the middle of lake
"The other links were confused, until a smoke of black and magenta shrouded everything insight. Wild watched in horror as he knew the outcome. He can only save one person, but that link could easily be corrupted again. And doing it too many times could kill him.
"GUYS!"
-0-0-
The links coughed and inhaled the smoke only to cough it out, the cycle continued as more malice started to form in their bodies. Until they passed out, wild swan back to the shore to check up on them.
GODDESSES DAMMIT NO
Foreign let out a demonic laugh as he ran away to joyfully murder. But four got ahold of his body and headed to the nearest sheikah village that could help him. Being kakariko, he glided to kakariko.
See, malice doesn't just corrupt you into an evil being. It enhances your bare strength but numbs your intelligence. Ever wonder why bokoblins aren't as smart as lynels? Not only are they created different but bokoblins are actually capable of dodging. But oh boy malice
#linked universe#LU#lets make four#suffer#suffering#angst#wild#four angst#+wind#time#hyrule#malice#legend#sky#twilight#oop its 5 a.m.#Mylist
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ANGEL OLSEN - ALL MIRRORS
[6.44]
We decided to cover this instead of the Mark Ronson collaboration, which might account for the score...
Joshua Lu: When Pazz & Jop's top albums of 2014 list was announced, I decided to listen to the five highest-ranking albums by female soloists. I had already enjoyed Taylor Swift's 1989 (#7), but I discovered artists that I came to love: St. Vincent (#4), FKA Twigs (#5), and Miranda Lambert (#12). The only album I wasn't immediately taken with was Angel Olsen's Burn Your Fire for No Wilderness (#8); I struggled to enjoy the barebones alternative stylings, especially when juxtaposed with the sonically rich production of the other four albums. When Olsen released "Intern," where her tender vocals waded through layered synths, I felt a little ashamed of how much I preferred it to her previous album. (That guilt only intensified when My Woman largely didn't sound anything like "Intern.") Why did I prefer Olsen when she was submerged in goopy noise? Was I just incapable of appreciating artistry when it was presented without intricate crowding? "All Mirrors" features Olsen at her goopiest yet, save for maybe her Mark Ronson collaboration, and once again I'm conflicted about how much I utterly love the combination of Olsen and these overbearing backdrops. I can tell where people will find this bloated: That middle section, where the synths acquire an orchestral intensity reminiscent of Susanne Sundfør, doesn't particularly mesh with the rest, as if Olsen ended her first verse, shrugged, and told producer John Congleton to just go ham. But I don't care, because the song evokes something in me, regardless of how unearned all that swelling is, regardless of that awkward transition back to Olsen's vocals, and even regardless of how the lyrics still don't make sense to me. Maybe someday I'll be able to properly take stock of these weaknesses, but for now I've fallen victim to Olsen's goop. [9]
Joshua Minsoo Kim: Lana Del Rey for the serious indie crowd. [4]
Kayla Beardslee: This is critical catnip, but it's hard for me to enjoy. Olsen's voice sounds so dreary, like it's being played back at 90% its original speed, and though the vocals fit the mood of the track, I'm not a fan of funeral dirge-core. It all seems quite important (those strings! those big, gasping melodies!), but digging through the lyrics, it's hard to find much of substance besides "losing beauty," which isn't much content for an almost five-minute song. Dull vocals, abstract imagery, a music video comprised of black and white beauty shots -- as someone not already familiar with Olsen's music, there's just nothing exciting to grab onto. [4]
Katherine St Asaph: Starts out a combination of the worst parts of Bat for Lashes (placid synth-pad ballad arrangement) and Zola Jesus (starchy vocal), and the result is too unengaging for one minute, let alone almost five. But Olsen's singing betrays much more energy than her surroundings, and that energy reveals itself in the best way: a sumptuous, storm-tossed string arrangement, complete with torrid cello. By minute three the balance has shifted -- the arrangement now overpowers Olsen, whose vocals sound clipped short in comparison -- but that's a much, much better complaint to have. [7]
Ashley Bardhan: Space opera outro music, in the best possible way. Warped vocal samples shoot around the track, breathing hard, sounding like ghosts warding you away from your basement, living underneath groaning violins and an unyielding bass line. Everything is pushing against something, but all the smoke in Angel's voice keeps running into glass. Drily, she repeats, "at least at times it knew me." [8]
Tim de Reuse: Masterfully courts grandiosity with chorused synthesizers and an emphatic chant (I love how the melody of "At least at times it knew me" ends a half-step away from proper resolution), but stumbles in some details of the presentation. In particular, the feathery effects on the vocals lend them an unwelcome straining quality that saps a lot of the impact they might have had in the grand finale. And was that swooping movie-trailer string section really necessary? [6]
Alfred Soto: She can't shake the drears and has shown no interest in doing so, pushing against her natural range while synth programs from Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me flicker in the rear. [5]
Kylo Nocom: Angel Olsen's world-weary cries suit the spectral backing well, and the song spends a sweet amount of time traveling across its ascending synth melodies and filmic strings. Before "All Mirrors" risks wallowing too much in its own prettiness, it kicks into full gear, delivering a moment of true kinetic dynamism by giving way to an explosion of drums that remains not unpredictable but very much appreciated alongside Olsen's impassioned yelps. [7]
Iain Mew: First there are the complex words hung out on their own, the world slowly unfurling with the cool inevitability of a St. Vincent ballad. Then somewhere along the way, in such slow motion it's hard to see, something shatters. After the explosion of organ comes the reflection of the opening, Olsen out of space and just repeating and repeating, the strings now taking on the detail and force. The destructive momentum is breathtaking, and while part of its power is being unexpected it never feels anything other than a fitting response to what has gone before. [8]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
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Can someone help me find that comic where it’s just this 3-4 panel black and white blob and the first panel is dinner’s ready! and the blanket monster chanting food food food
but the last panel is pointing at goop and it says “food you don’t like”
I need it
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Random Wondy Series Thoughts, Part the First
Okay, so a while back I did a pitch for my version of a Green Arrow TV show, and I had a lot of fun with it. So, whilst I still wanna do the basic outlines of at least two more seasons of it, I figured I’d do a season featuring one of my favourite female superheroes – Wonder Woman.
Fair warning – I’m going to talk a fair bit about sexism, rape and homophobia – nothing explicit, but this is Ancient Greek mythology in the modern world, and I am talking about it.
So, few things out of the way first:
My version of Amazonian history/society is a weird miss-mash of Perez, Jimenez, and Legend of Wonder Woman – namely, the Amazons as a whole are descended from Scythians, who established Themyscira, but then Jerkules comes along and fucks it all up so magic island time! The Amazons believe their children are the souls of dead women, but it’s not confirmed because Zeus has forbidden the gods from interacting with Themyscira.
Speaking of children, I’m keeping the LoWW style ‘all Amazons except for a handful are mortal and they magically reproduce by praying’ thing, if only so that I personally am not skeeved out by Diana being the Casanova of Themyscira.
The Amazons are explicitly racially diverse, homo-normative but also bi/pan/everything inclusive (especially trans, I’m considering making Phillipus trans) and technologically advanced. Azzarello can meet me in the fucking pit.
Also, Diana’s bi as fuck.
The patron gods are the ones from Perez’s run – with Hermes instead of Hera, as the token Good Ally™ of Olympus (I can’t remember if this is mythologically accurate – I don’t remember specifics of him doing anything too asholeish, so fuck it.) Hera, however, is fundamental to founding Themyscira, gives Diana her ability to speak eloquently at birth, and it’s hinted that Heracles attacking the Amazons really starts Hera on the path of ‘I’m becoming just as bad as Zeus’ that culminates in her dumping him and deciding to modernize into the ‘family is whoever the fuck you want’ idea later on down the line.
Incidentally, in case that didn’t give you the clue, yes I’m doing the clay origin. Why wouldn’t I?
The Amazons mainly worship Aphrodite and Athena, but after those the most popular god is Hestia, because I love her, you should love her, we all should love Hestia.
Incidentally, Doom’s Doorway is a thing, as are the floating islands of the Jimenez run. Other ideas I’m stealing borrowing: The purple healing ray, Warbringer’s idea that some Amazons worship different gods (though mainly Egyptian, Roman and Etruscan, not any and all – you’ll see why later), also the idea that Themyscira is an impossible biome with a dessert right next to a frozen wasteland, the Invisible Jet being magic space goop, this meme, you get the idea.
More Amazons come to the island as castaways on wreckage – this is Donna Troy’s origin, she was deposited there in 1941, and Hippolyta decided to combat the Nazis and became the first Wonder Woman.
Xena and Gabrielle are Hippolyta’s mothers. This may not make much sense to any Xena fan, but I like it, so I’m keepin’ it.
Whilst we’re on the subject, Percy Jackson is around, with a few changes – namely, the Hunters of Artemis are Amazons, with Zoe Nightshade being Phillipus’ best friend.
With all that backstory out of the way, let’s get on with the pilot:
(Fair Waning: most of the art will be from LoWW, because it’s so gosh darned pretty)
We open the same way LoWW opened – the backstory of the Amazons, from their origins to Hippolyta’s time as Wonder Woman (ending as she goes to combat Ares), eventually revealed to be a story being told to a group of youths, one of which is Donna Troy, by Diana. We slowly get introduced to Themyscira, how it operates and that Diana is feeling very Moana about her state of affairs.
Incidentally, something that’ll come up later – the backstory establishes that during Hippolyta and Antiope’s fall out, instead of the 50-50 split hinted at in canon, it was rather more 30-70 Antiope’s way. Yes, this does mean what you’re thinking – it’s not just Bana-Mighdall, there’s more Amazons out there.
Regardless, we then have Diana interacting with Hippolyta and Phillipus, which establishes two things – one, Hippolyta is unusually defensive about Diana bringing up her fight with Ares, and has forbidden Diana from learning any sort of weapon’s training, and two, Phillipus has been cheerfully ignoring that order for the past five hundred years. (Phillipus is the Cool Mum, Hippolyta the Safe Mum. I don’t make the rules.)
Cut to:
Steve Trevor, who is being given instructions by his commanding officer to report to X aircraft carrier and perform flight manoeuvres. Although he questions these orders, given the aircraft carrier is several hundred miles away and there are at least five ones in between here and there, he follows them out. As he walks out of the room, his commanding officer reveals himself to be Deimos, Ares’ son and God of Terror.
Cut to:
Olympus, where Athena, Aphrodite and Apollo are viewing this event. They establish that the carrier is right next to Themyscira, and that Steve setting foot on the land will break Themyscira’s defences, leaving them open to attack. They also establish there’s fuck-all they can do about this, as Zeus has decreed that no Olympian can interfere with the mortal world – Athena in particular expresses frustration with this, storming off. Aphrodite and Apollo talk about how Athena’s become angrier at Zeus, particularly after World War II, where he forbade Athena from joining either side. Apollo asks what they can do about Ares’ plan, and Aphrodite smiles. She says she has a plan.
Cut once again to:
Gateway City, where Etta Candy, college sorority and fashionista, is talking with the rest of the Holiday Girls, until she gets a phone call. It’s from Aphrodite, who tells her she has a job for them…
Back to Themyscira, where Diana is training with Donna. Hippolyta arrives, looking furious, and starts berating them both. Just as mother and daughter are about to start arguing, Penelope runs up, saying that Menalippe is hurt. Hippolyta orders Diana and Donna to stay behind, but neither of them listen.
Menalippe says that she was sent a message by Mnemosyne (Titaness of Foresight – Apollo is too… frat boy to be the god of choice on Themyscira, tbh) that dark times are coming, and they need to hold a games to decide who shall champion Themyscira’s beliefs to the outside world, because they may not have a choice soon. Diana begs to join the games, but Hippolyta forbids it, leading Diana to storm away in disgust. Phillipus stays behind to confront Hippolyta, saying that she needs to stop trying to protect Diana, because she’s her daughter, of course she’s going to fight. Hippolyta protests that she’s Phillipus’ daughter to, but Phillipus smiles sadly and says that they both know that’s not true. From behind the curtain, Diana is crying.
Meanwhile:
Steve boards the aircraft carrier, but not before locating a stowaway: Etta Candy. Despite her protests, he prepares to do his drills alongside his new co-pilot, Leo Nides (Yes, that is a play on Leonidas of Sparta. No, he’s not black. Yes, he is Greek)
Whilst he’s out flying, his co-pilot starts attacking him, chanting in Ancient Greek. The plane starts crashing…
The day of the games opens up bright, with Diana sulking in her room. Donna sneaks in, and the two talk about parenthood, and how Donna doesn’t remember her parents, but whenever either of them think of ‘parents’, they immediately think of Hippolyta and Phillipus. Suddenly, there��s a horrible sound from outside, and they both run out to see a strange contraption fall from the sky.
(Yes, the Amazons have planes, but that doesn’t mean they know what a fighter jet looks like. They’ve already figured out hovercraft some four hundred years ago, after all.)
The plane crashes, and as the Amazons stand around it, a figure stumbles out. With shock, the Amazons realize it’s a man, just as the island shakes and the defences fall.
The episode ends with the crew on the boat, Etta Candy and the Amazons looking on in shock as Themyscira is revealed to the world for the first time in eons.
So, that’s my idea! Please leave all comments, things you liked, things you hated, things you feel indifferent towards, really anything, I’d love to hear it all! This’ll probably be part one of a series of four five, with part 2 (and part 3) being the second (and third, there was too much) of the pilot, part 3 4 being an overview of the rest of the season/any individual episodes, and part 4 5 an overview of where to go after season 1. I’ll link to them once I’ve posted them, but for now bye!
#i write things#Wonder Woman#in case it wasn't clear#i spent way too much time thinking about this#i may do a batman one in future#or superman#but that would consist of 'give lois lane her own series you cowards'#mind you#batman would probably result in 'give my faves their own series too#so maybe i should stick to this#for now let's call it#woman of truth
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Dreamer Part 7
Parts 1-3 https://we-are-guildmaster.tumblr.com/post/186332090734/original-story-dreamer Part 4 https://we-are-guildmaster.tumblr.com/post/186722752629/dreamer-part-4 Part 5 https://we-are-guildmaster.tumblr.com/post/187124114564/dreamer-part-5 Part 6 https://we-are-guildmaster.tumblr.com/post/187983702944/dreamer-part-6
As Anthony leaves the library to go get the doctor a thought crosses my mind, “Ammi? How far away is the Council? The place where I'll be meeting them I mean.”
The Madam gives me an odd look. “Near the heart of the city, in one of the larger buildings. Why do you ask?”
I clear my throat, I really wish I had something to drink right now, “I had a thought, I haven't been here that long and it took us three hours to get here from the airport. I don't remember the ride, but I remember looking at my watch. I also remember the airport was near the outside of the city. But I've only been here at the mansion about four hours, and had my seizure two hours ago. How long would it have taken Mr. Rackam to get here, and how fast would he have found out about me having my seizure?”
She stares at me blankly for a few moments. Her expression is unreadable and that makes me uneasy. I like knowing what people are thinking, it makes it easier to deal with things as they come up. “He couldn't have gotten here from his offices in less than an hour, longer at this time of day because of heavy traffic, say an hour and one half to two hours. We reported your seizure to the office of the First Lord shortly after the event, let us say a quarter hour. Leaving forty five minutes for the information to pass down to the various members of the Council, and then to decide on a course of action. One would imagine that would take at least half of an hour.” A look of realization dawned in her eyes, “Leaving a mere quarter hour for arrangements of travel and assignment of who would go. Meaning that Steward Rackam was already on his way here when word of your seizure would have filtered down to him.” Her face turned from contemplative to angry very quickly. “Which means they could have had foresight of your seizure and planned for it. You are very observant Dreamer.”
She steps away from the table she had been leaning against and moves to the phone again. After a moment she says, Arjun, find out who in the city has the services of a seer. One who would have at least several hours of foresight. I would start with the Grecian delegates as they are the most likely, but leave no stone unturned.” she listens for a moment and then returns the hand piece to its cradle. “This presents an interesting problem. The use of seers is strictly monitored and regulated to prevent unfair business dealings and limit foresight into events yet to happen. Knowledge of the future is a powerful tool and if it has been turned against the wishes of the Council or First Lord then this is a brazen ploy indeed. I will be occupied for a short time seeing to household matters, there is water and juice available simply lift the phone receiver and the operator will direct you a concierge to bring you whatever you need until Anthony returns.”
I nod and she walks out of the library and I am alone for the first time since I arrived. I undo the breaks on my chain and roll over to the phone and order some juice. While I wait I look around the library at the books. Most of them are printed in languages I can't read, a couple are in French or English but they have titles like, The Birth Line of the Third Family, or The Book of Ceremonies of Marriage, not light reading for sure.
After about ten minutes a woman arrives with a chilled bottle of white cranberry juice and a tall glass. I thank her and she smiles and says something in a foreign language and leaves. As I drink, I keep looking at the shelves, this book or that on family histories, a book of lineages from the fourth to seventh centuries A.D. The one I finally stop on is an old French book called, Common Tribesmen of the Northern Seventh Region.
I pull it down and it turns out to be a folio rather than a book. I go over to one of the tables and spread it open. It's hand inked and has several illustrations on each page. It's written in old French with a lot of heavy pronouns and no contractions at all. As I leaf through the pages it goes over the different types of monsters that are found in what I get by inference is the northeastern portion of North America. I don't understand half of what's written, not because I can't read it, but because it seems like the author assumes the reader has fore knowledge of basic concepts that I don't.
The way the author refers to the different kinds of creatures gives the impression that he's talking about inferior beings, like he's better than them. Phrases like, were they more civilized, or, they are by their nature prone to heavy body odor, and the general tone are what you would expect to hear from some one being condescending.
I must have been reading for a while when Anthony comes in with another man. “Dreamer, may I introduce Doctor Wong Tai Chi, personal physician to the most honored and descendant of Wong Tai Sin.” Anthony bows slightly to the man. I guess that his introduction should mean something to me, but I have no clue as to what, so I just smile and nod.
“You may call me Doctor Wong.” the man says as he sets a wood and leather case on the table, Anthony moves the folio I had been reading aside so as not to be in the way, “Let us have a look at you.” he comes near me and passes his hands across my arms, side, and chest. His hands barely touch me, and I have no idea what he's doing. His eyes dart back and forth across me as he moves his hands and he mumbles in Chinese. “Your Jīngshén, or what you would call your spirit, is very tangled. It is beyond my ability to untangle what is the root of your ailments. But the surface wounds, these I can deal with. You have broken blood vessels in your arm and side and a cracked rib. Please remove your shirt.” He opens the case and begins to remove bottles labeled with Chinese script.
I look to Anthony, who simply nods at me. “I have several allergies Doctor Wong, some which are sever. I am worried about anything new that might change or interact with my medicine or cause me to have problems. I'm sure you understand.”
He huffs at me, “Sir, I have been practicing the healing arts for three and a half centuries. Your Jīngshén tells me all I need to know about what you can and cannot be exposed to safely. Your modern medicine is more guessing game and, lets throw darts at it and see what sticks, than true healing ability. Now remove your shirt and let me get on with my ministrations.”
I slip off the top of the thawb and as I lift my arms the pain in my ribs hits me full force. It's like a hammer against my side and hurts like hell. Once I lower my arms it dies back down to a dull throb that was there before but I hadn't noticed till now. Doctor Wong takes some powders, leaves, and liquids and puts them in a small battery powered blender that he had pulled from his bag. I guess I must have laughed a little because he throws me a sidelong glance.
“What? You expect pestal and mortar? Or some clay bowls and sticks? This is the twenty first century, even an ancient cure can benefit from modern convenience.”
After a minute of blending he looks at the contents of the jar and nods. I really hope he doesn't want me to drink it because it looks like a combination of roofing tar and Drain-o. He opens the jar and the strong smell of pine and oil hit me. It's not unpleasant, but I was expecting something that smelled like shit honestly.
“You will need to lift your arm at least parallel to your shoulder for me to do my work and hold it there for a short time. Are you able or shall I have Anthony hold it up for you?” he asks impatiently.
“No, I think I can manage that sir.” I say. Great I'm going to get lathered with goop and some psychic surgeon is going to pronounce me cured. Woo hoo. When I first got sick when I was a kid my mom took me to every doctor she could find. Every test came back 'nonspecific'. It must have been more than twenty doctors, and all of them couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. After a couple of years mom even tried faith healers. What a bunch of sham artists they were. This ointment, or that goop, this chant, or these crystals. Nothing came of it of course. What was wrong with me was that I was Dreaming. It broke me to make me able to Dream. It's been decades and I'm still bitter about that. I often wonder what kind of life I could have had had I not started Dreaming.
What happens next I'm not sure I actually saw or believed. I lift my arm up and Doctor Wong waves his hands over the jar and a small flame lights over it. A thick blue black smoke wisps up from the flame and he passes his hands through it while speaking Chinese. The smoke bends and move towards me and starts to wind its way across my ribs, chest, and arm kind of like a snake. It really doesn't feel like anything, but watching smoke move like it shouldn't be moving is really weird.
The smoke spirals around the bruised areas on my arm and ribs and masses into small thick clouds that settle against my skin. The whole time the doctor is speaking and waving his hands in complex patterns through the smoke. It's not hokey stuff like his eyes rolled back or some whispered nonsense like I had seen all those fakes do when I was a kid. It was more like he's having a conversation that I can only hear one side of. I feel a light pressure where the bruises are and my skin starts to feel wet. I look over and little droplets of blood are forming on my skin under the smoke and wicking it away. After a minute I hear a little popping noise from my side and the throbbing stops. Doctor Wong starts saying something different and the smoke starts flowing back into the jar. It's taken on a reddish hue now and isn't as dark as it was before. I look at my arm and there is a thin layer of flaky dried blood there and on my ribs. The smoke goes back into the jar and the flame goes out and he screws a lid on it.
“There, good as new. Or at least good as it was before the fall. I've never had the chance to heal a Dreamer before. Your spirit is twisted and tangled in ways I have never seen. Given a few decades of treatment I might be able to figure some of it out, but I doubt it would do you much good by then as you would be a very old man. Wounds I can cure, but age comes for us all at some point.” he packs his things away into his case and makes ready to leave, “Anthony will see to getting you cleaned off, if you are in need of me again, the most honored has given me permission to aid you. Try and avoid falls and eat some iron rich food for the next few days.” he nods his head to me and Anthony and walks out.
Anthony brings a small towel and a bottle of water and starts wiping the dried blood away. “You are very blessed Dreamer, it is very rare for a healer of Doctor Wong's status to work on a human, nearly unheard of. I think the last time I have heard of was one of the English princes some hundred years ago. He is one of the most skilled healers in the world, which is why he attends the most honored.”
The next few minutes consist of Anthony cleaning me up and getting me dressed again. I drink some more of my juice and try and figure out what just happened. “Anthony, what did he do to me? I mean I saw what happened, with the smoke and all that, but I mean, what was that?”
“The doctor used his magic to pull the bruised blood from your body, heal your bones, and mend the damage caused by the fall.” he said like it should be obvious.
“Magic?” I say, “Like honest to God, Merlin's in the house, magic?”
“You do not believe in magic? You see things that happen all across the world in your Dreams. You must have seen things unknown before. Why would you not?” he seemed confused.
“Well, yeah, but those are Dreams. Weird stuff happens all the time, but it's just monster stuff.” I catch myself as I say it and realize I may have just said something wrong, “No offense meant. Tribes stuff I mean, I just always thought it was my brain trying to make sense of a weird situation by putting in this or that to fill in the blanks.”
“As I understand it, Dreamers see things as they truly happen. No blank spots or filler, but things as they truly are. You have witnessed magic many times in your Dreams. It was not filler, but actual magic.” he put the towels and water in a small trash bag from under the counter and set them aside.
“So do you do magic?” I ask, I guess I probably sound like a kid asking for a party trick or something.
“No, I am not blessed with those gifts. I have simply studied, at university, how to be a caregiver. My abilities are mundane.”
I must have lost track of time between reading and my time with the doctor because when I glance down at my watch it's a quarter to twelve. “When am I supposed to have lunch with, um, the most honored?” it's really weird to me to refer to someone with a title like that. I mean First Lord, Councilman, Steward, those I can understand and wrap my head around but 'most honored' is a little more esoteric.
Anthony looks at his watch, “Soon. I would have expected the Madam to have returned by now to fetch us, but it seems we will have to go on our own. We will leave shortly so as to arrive very near the time declared by the most honored. One does their best to be prompt with matters such as these.”
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Tips and tricks for preschool teachers
Pre-kindergarten classrooms are bright, welcoming, warm, and never dull! Whether you’re welcoming your first batch of 4-year-olds or are a seasoned veteran, here are 50 ideas, tricks, and tips for pre-K teachers from the WeAreTeachers Helpline and around the web to make your classroom shine.
1. Choose an appealing theme. We love this “Super”-themed classroom from one of our Facebook community members.
2. Stay crystal-clear with parent communication. This is most likely a parent’s first experience with school, so be clear with your expectations.
Include information about the “schedule of the day, snacks, discipline, how to get in touch, and what to do if they get scared, have a tantrum, or are hurt” in your newsletter.
3. Use mascots.
Give your classroom some additional energy with creative mascots at each center. “I teach pre-K and my classroom theme is superheroes. Each center has a ‘mascot’ and the Hulk and She-Hulk are the mascots for the dramatic play center because they change and are dramatic.”
4. Use a master copy binder.
Instead of filing the worksheets and papers you use every year (or copy and recopy for kids who need extra practice), file them in a master copy binder. It takes up less space and keeps your most-used worksheets close at hand.
multiplication learning toys
5. Make time for morning meeting.
It’s a great way to reinforce calendar and core skills and build community. Watch how this pre-K teacher leads morning meeting in her classroom.
6. Try Conscious Discipline.
“I am a huge fan of Conscious Discipline by Dr. Becky Bailey. It helps teach children social and emotional skills they will use the rest of their life.”
7. Teach a story-time transition.
“Hands go up, hands go down”—when teaching pre-K, help students stop and transition to story time (or substitute other rug activities for story time to use this chant throughout the day). Find the poster at Teachers Pay Teachers.
8. Teach pre-K students pencil grip.
Reteaching fine motor skills is hard! Teach pre-K students proper pencil grip from the get-go and future teachers will thank you. (Here’s information about what proper pencil grip looks like from OT Mom.)
9. It’s never too early for writing.
Pre-k students aren’t too young to start writing. We love this Valentine’s Day idea that has students write basic sentences.
counting toys for 3 year olds
10. Make calendar time active.
Pre-kindergartners need to move (a lot). So one of our biggest tips for pre-K is to let them wiggle! Incorporate movement into your daily routine, like calendar time. Michelle M. recommends having students jump for each day of the month they count, or have gestures to show the weather (rain movements if it’s raining).
11.Consider laminating your books.
Books in a pre-K classroom are loved … well loved. Here are two tips for pre-K teachers to keep your books from falling apart (or at least slow it down).
12. Use the two-minute rule.
Plan lessons that match your students’ attention spans. “Remember, you’ve got two minutes, then move. Pre-K students can’t be expected to sit and listen for long.”
13. Start journals.
Start your pre-K students on a journaling routine with blank books that you make by stapling white paper together. Set time each day for students to write and draw in their journals. (Get more tips for pre-K on Teach Preschool.)
14. Teach concepts multiple ways.
Pre-kindergartners are figuring out how they learn, and they like to experiment with new ways of doing things. So plan for a few ways for kids to experience each concept such as having students find shapes in a salt box or making shape pictures using tangrams. (Find 20 ways to teach shapes at Gift of Curiosity.)
15. Have a clear, predictable schedule.
Your day, and year, will go smoothly if your pre-K students know what to expect. Check out this schedule from Fun-a-Day that includes “sign in” and lots of center time.
16. Plan fine motor practice.
Pre-kindergarteners will need to hit the ground running in kindergarten, and that includes using scissors. Use these free grass and snake cutting sheets for practice.
17. Don’t shy away from science.
Students start learning science basics from the first day of school, check out this geography lesson for one way to teach pre-K kids about land, water, and air.
18. Find free books online.
Printing (and laminating) free books is one way to build your library or send books home with your students for their home library. Online alphabet books teach letters and reinforce concepts of print knowledge. Two places to find a bunch of free alphabet books: DLTK Teach mini-books and First School books to print and color.
19. Use Mr. Potato Head to teach the five senses.
It’s funny and memorable—Mr. Potato Head is a great way to emphasize the five senses. (Find more tips for pre-K at Northwestern Kiddies.)
20. Make templates.
For each activity you create, make a cardboard template (use an old cereal box for the cardboard) so you have a sturdy model for the next time around. (From Northwestern Kiddies.)
21. Sing letter sounds.
Switch out the first letter of silly songs, like this example from The Wheels on the Bus, to reinforce letter sounds and help students hear how words change when you change the first letter.
22. Build collections of books on one topic.
Even though they’re pre-readers, pre-K kids like to look at books on the same topic, like this selection of books about bugs. Organize your books by genre or topic to teach pre-K kids how to learn from book collections.
23. Stock the sensory table.
Sensory tables are about more than just play, they engage kids in thinking about their senses and how they interact with the world. Bubbles, goop, water, ice, and sand are all experiences that can enhance your classroom sensory table. (Get more tips fore pre-K at PreKinders.)
24. Teach the alligator method for using scissors.
Holding and using scissors are one of those key ready-for-kindergarten skills that the kinder teachers in your building will thank you for later. Try teaching pre-K students the thumbs up alligator method.
25. Plan for pretend play.
Pretend play develops language, creativity, and social skills while helping kids figure out their world. Check out this pretend play veterinary office and this produce stand—two great ideas for the pretend play corner.
26. Use books to teach social skills.
From apologizing to managing feelings to building friendships, social skills are an important part of teaching pre-K. Start social skills lessons with books that kids can read again on their own later.
Dinosaur Activities For Preschoolers Science
27. Get versatile.
We love this sorting idea, and when you’re done sorting shapes, you can use the container to sort letters, colors, fruits, and anything else that fits!
28. Buy reading buddies.
Pre-kindergartners are learning how to read, and that includes “reading” to their favorite toys. Encourage kids to read aloud and practice what they know about reading with a stash of reading buddies (stuffed animals, dolls, and other toys) in the book corner.
29. Consider an emotion buddy.
Use this trick for one student or your entire class: “Have a stuffed animal, Anger Bear, that can be a student’s best friend to talk to when she gets mad. They can cry to it, talk to it, and let it all out.” –Sarah F.
30. Read names.
One big accomplishment for pre-kinders is recognizing their names. Here are ways to teach students their names, including Play-Doh and sensory bin ideas.
31. It’s one of those tips for pre-K we can’t say enough, MOVE!
Whether they’re spraying letters with a water bottle, doing letter hopscotch, or doing a letter relay, it’s important to integrate movement when teaching, and practicing letters. Here are more ideas, like gluing letters to the circles on a Twister mat and having kids read the letters as they play.
32. Make Common Core math fun.
If you’re looking for pre-kindergarten examples of how to teach Common Core math, look no further than Engage NY. Their pre-K math site has videos, modules, and lessons.
33. Build an abacus.
When your students are learning to count and add, turn a giant cardboard box into a life-sized abacus for kids to work on. (Get more tips for pre-K on The Imagination Tree.)
34. Use clothespins.
Clothespins strengthen kids’ pincher grasp, which helps them hold pencils and scissors. They also strengthen academic skills, like this activity that has students placing a clothespin at the appropriate number on each card. (Get more tips for pre-K on 1 Plus 1 Plus 1 Equals 1.)
35. Try different themes from A to Z.
The best way to plan pre-kindergarten lessons may be by theme. Everything Preschool has a list of themes that’s alphabetized, including airplanes, carrots, and mittens.
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5 BS Concoction Gwyneth Paltrow And Alex Jones Both Shill
I believe you can tell a lot about a personality by the products they shill. Michael Jordan was some sort of plays guy, so he wanted you to buy hyper-expensive Nike shoes. Jamie Lee Curtis assumes you have trouble shitting, so she developed yogurt. And if Larry the Cable Guy doesn’t feed straight Prilosec, he turns into a Xenomorph. The two luminary endorsers I find the most interesting are Alex Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow. Though they’re about as different as you can possibly get on the surface, both have put together profitable slope business … in a lot of specimen, selling the exact same situations. Jones exchanges( and claims to take) so many augments that I have a theory he’s actually a beanbag chair substance with capsules, while Paltrow is more generally into anything that resonates dumb. But strangely, they do share some common ground. For instance …
5
They Both Crave Your Teenagers To Shut UP FOR FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES
Infowars Sells:
Alex Jones accuses “modern mind control” — which is everything from music to sugar to unspecified globalist brews — on teenagers being unable to focus and pacify the inferno down. Fortunately, he’s here to force-feed your children catnip and lemon ointment in hopes of allowing you precious fucking instants of peacefulnes to scrapbook all of the excellent occasions you’ve had with your them.
In the commercial for Child Ease, Alex Jones ascribes himself with developing it, while also territory, “Young humans has still not developed their nervous system.” Which prepares me wonder his credentials as an inventor of things that go inside a child’s organization. He knows we’re born with nervous system, right? Likewise, saying “young humans” builds him sound like an alien. If you took the Child Ease commercial-grade and had Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama chronicle it, it would prepare infinitely more sense.
Goop Sells:
Chill Child is a “calming mist” which somehow use sonically tuned masterpiece elixirs and Reiki-charged crystals to “get your kiddos to chill.” It may ogle exactly like what you would use to spray irrigate on a feline to get it off your kitchen bar, but you’re not supposed to do now spraying it instantly on small children. And for the love of god do not tell them inhale it, that would be crazy . It goes on their halo. I can only assume that once the child’s halo is sufficiently coated in this mist, it expires, leaving your child an auraless husk and you free to do Pilates.
I’m pretty sure “sonically chanted masterpiece elixirs” is code for some rocks Gwyneth Paltrow sing to. Nonetheless, mining a little deeper, I found that it’s practice dumber than that. Both “moonlight” and “love” are legitimately listed as ingredients. I can’t promotion but consider all this spraying will do is establish hollering sticky children somewhat chamomile-scented, which I suspect is technically further improvements. At least you’ll be allowed to smell them coming, so you have time to hide.
4
They Both Crave You To Experience Big, Meaty Boners
Infowars Sells:
Via Infowars
Super Male Vitality utilizes something announced extraction technology, along with various herbs and removes, to give you a super good boner. Just request Boner King Alex Jones, or this commercial-grade, which features Alex Jones announcing a humanity doing a push-up “unprecedented.”( Something that I premise is 100 percent genuine for Alex Jones .)
You determine, according to Alex Jones, who is to boners what Jesus was to Lazarus, someone is putting “estrogen mimickers” in the nutrient and water supply, who the hell is werewolfing gentlemen into the worst possible thing he can imagine: wives. Simply Alex Jones can save you from this horrible fate. So if you’re afraid your dick will shrivel up and fall off, thus robbing you of the one thing retaining you sane in this mad, effeminate world-wide, turn to Alex Jones for not just sorcery boner-giving liquid, but too magic boner- obstructing liquid. It’s $ 50, and I hope you suffocated on it.
Goop Sells:
Via Goop
Sex Dust sounds like an STD that’s going around a nursing home. Who could think “Sex Dust” is a good name for- oh, anticipate, she appointed her business “Goop.” She appointed one of her children “Apple.” I’m pretty sure Gwyneth doesn’t even register “sex” or “dust” as real words.
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Goop wants you to put Sex Dust inside your mas. Specifically, you can add it to any red-hot or cold liquid and booze it, but it’s specially good with nut milk. Fucking – god, this writes itself. Goop describes Sex Dust as a “lusty edible formula alchemized to erupt and agitate sex power in and out of the bedroom.” Unlike Super Male Vitality, Sex Dust doesn’t promise to protect you from the terrors of femininity in your lesbian irrigate, but it does have something announced “horny goat weed” in it, which seems like a promising herb for delivering horniness. This is especially true if you happen to be buying this as a goat.
3
They Both Crave You To Be Kept From Invisible Demons
Infowars Sells:
Living Defense claims to offer protection against “invading organisms.” I swear to god I tried to figure out what that symbolizes. I ran deep into the Infowars world, which is just a knot of bunkers full of grey men with giant boners, all crying. Please, Alex Jones, Pied Piper of erectile dysfunction, tell me what the hell this product is for.
What I can tell you for certain is that nine out of ten people are infested with harmful creatures. Destructive organisms can spread during sexual practice. And pets are mostly metropolitans for them. So if you enjoy a happening, it’s probably filled with injurious organisms. No one knows what they are, but Alex Jones damn sure known to be they’re bad. Actually , now that I think about it, it’s probably just a metaphor for his posture on immigration.
Goop Sells:
Man, when you get into a crazy-off with Infowars and prevail , that’s really saying something. Something pathetic. I was certain the most maniac concoction bestow would go to Mr. Jones. Unhappily, Ms. Paltrow, in a last-minute volley of idiocy, secreted psychic ogre repellent. And no, that’s not a restate, parody, or ridicule. That’s literally what it’s called.
The spread wasn’t in her advantage, but she took home the W with a 3.4 oz bottle of pure Reiki-charged insanity. This bottle of sadness sea claims to “banish bad vibes( and shield you from the people who may be causing them ). ” I generally use pepper spray for that, but I’m sure if you got this right into someone’s eyeball, it might protect you from them. Once again, you’re not supposed to spraying this directly on someone else, because also once again, that would be crazy. It goes on your aura. Again.
2
They Crave You To Have A Squeaky-Clean Rectum
Infowars Sells:
Via Infowars
Oxy-Powder is an oxygen-based intestinal disinfectant, which means that if you take it, you’re about to get real acquainted with your porcelain cousin. Which is the nice style of saying “You’re going to shit out your actual soul.” Infowars certainly spells this out for you in the important information region at the bottom of the sheet, territory: “Oxy-Powder will effect runny, gaseous stools. This is no longer clinical diarrhea; it’s the byproduct of oxidation.” So don’t worry, it’s just oxygen vacating out your colon like Godzilla on a sea slide.
Wait, how the blaze does oxygen clean out your colon? According to the chiropractor who shills these super not-FD-Aapproved capsules, it’s “using time-released oxygen through oxidation reduction.” And one thing I heavily agree with is that those are all messages that exist in the English language.
Wait, isn’t that the same guy from the boner capsule commercial-grade? Huh.
Goop Sells:
I’m now a ex-serviceman of the bullshit augment battles, and like the prophecy of Delphi, I can accurately interpret the glittery predicts lovingly dispersed around this product. The ten-day detox supplement kit promises to treat, purge, and repair the gut, increase force, improve climate and sleep, shorten stress, restore glow and vitality to surface and hair, and more. If it shapes me glow, I hope it’s in the dark so I can frighten all my friends.
What it for sure will do is shape you poop your whole butt off. This knowledge came to me as I was reading the advise in the description: “It’s best to start over a weekend so you can get abundance of rest.” The subtext there is that you will need to rest between all of the pooping you will be doing. It will be so much pooping that you are required to hire an extra bottom for all the resting you will need to do between all of the pooping you will definitely be doing. I don’t know who you are we equate pooping a lot with having a health mas, but apparently everyone does. In Goop’s case, beings are willing to pay $169 to achieve what one fried chicken quesadilla from Taco Bell could do for $5.
1
They Require You To Use Vegan Deodorant
Infowars Sells:
If you didn’t just knowing that Infowars was and stumbled into their shop by some inauspicious internet accident, you are able to think it was a website for a health food store in Portland. Who would have believed cruelty-free vegan deodorant would be so important to a humankind who caused the parents of assassinated children to be provoked?
It’s also free of gluten, soy, and dairy, in cases where you want to eat it, I guess? I would fully expect to hear from Goop that you can use “the earth’s mineral crystal be included with natural botanicals” as deodorant. But nope, that’s from Alex Jones. And I think it’s exceptionally important that you understand that I’m not reaching up the “mineral crystal” thing, so here’s the sheet, where you can see it for yourself.
It’s vegan deodorant for everyone who dislikes Muslims but affection swine. You can also get a variety of organic shampoos and soaps from the Infowars shop, so you can get the government out of your gun locker and your grace number!
Goop Sells:
I know Goop isn’t a surprising region to meet vegan disinfectant. It is precisely the kind of commodity I would expect Gwyneth Paltrow to shill. Goop flows on the proposition that the world is a soiled place full of poors, and they are able to cleanse their dreadful aroma away with an $18 rail of charcoal-gray soap motivated by shamans.
This was the make that really hammered residence for me the way both Goop and Infowars tango around FDA regulations. They sell concepts they claim are organic and natural and therefore safer and more efficient than trash like real drug prescribed by real physicians … or merely be convinced to take 30 pills a daylight that aren’t sanctioned by authority oversight. After writing this article, I’ve decided to never eat anything organic for the rest of “peoples lives”. It’s all bullshit. I’m putting nothing but Cheetos, Baja Blast Mountain Dew, and pure plastic in my figure, and I’m going to live to be 100.
You can follow Lydia on Twitter . Almost any multitude of soap and deodorant should fit your needs. Most importantly you won’t have to jeopardy utilizing some expensive fear-based quack concoctions that might as well be peddled by a Batman scoundrel . If you desired this article and crave more content like this, support our locate with a see to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free know, and more . For more, check out 4 Celebrity Products That Are Proof People Will Buy Anything and 27 Disappointing Ads By Celebrity Who Should Know Better . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The 6 Most Surreal Fame Endorsements, and watch other videos you won’t examine on the site !
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LUIS FONSI FT. STEFFLON DON - CALYPSO [4.86] To your editor, he'll always be that guy who had a duet on the second Emma Bunton album.
Jonathan Bogart: How do you follow up accidentally having the biggest global single of the modern era? Only a few people have ever had to wrestle with this question in history, and none of them were twenty-year music-industry veterans with a long track record of pan-regional hit-making. "Échame la Culpa" was one way: keep your romantic balladeer persona but try to keep crossing over to the Bieber audience without being saddled with Bieber himself. "Calypso" is another way: lean into novelty hard, pretend Puerto Rico and Jamaica and Trinidad are all the same undistinguished "Caribbean" vacation destination musical genre, mashing up soca and reggaeton and dancehall into a neon goop driven more by melody than rhythm, and pray that credulous Eurovision fans fall for it a second time. [5]
Thomas Inskeep: It sure as hell ain't "Despacito" -- more like a Casio keyboard preset with some "blah-de-blah" over the top, hackwork of the highest order. And music industry, stop trying to make Stefflon Don happen. She's no Cardi B, that's for certain. [2]
Juana Giaimo: Luis Fonsi continues to stay away from ballads -- and we should be thankful for that. This time, he has released a dancehall track that aims to be the song of the summer -- in the northern hemisphere. The beat is fast and the steel pad guides the song with its joyful sound. Stefflon Don is a bit more of a risk, but Fonsi is quickly learning the dynamics of Latin American club music. For example, the chorus starts as quite mellow, but it is suddenly broken with a deeper melody when he sings "Lo que tu digas, te daré." [7]
Tim de Reuse: Aggressively sunny enough to make your pupils constrict, but at least it's aiming for some type of flavor at all, and it tries hard enough that it can't help but accidentally be a little fun. The multilingual 1-2-3 of the chorus, unfortunately, is one of the most un-sexy things they could have written to serve a climactic singalong chant. [5]
Ashley John: Held steady by a backbone of steel drums, "Calypso" guides us up and down through summer's heat. Luis Fonsi's verses and then rhythmic chorus highlight Stefflon Don, who elevates this track from wafting summer single to a strong-willed hit. Stefflon Don flexes her versatility with a sweet, high-pitched verse at first, sounding like a line from teen blockbuster movie: "Don't wanna fight cuz I love when we dancing." Only then switching a few seconds later to a guttural, dominant tone leaving the rest of the song to trickle off slowly once Luis Fonsi takes the reins back. [6]
Katherine St Asaph: It's good for what it is -- a flimsy, saccharine follow-up to an unexpected smash, making the same mistake as countless sudden stars past that a song is guaranteed a hit just for being genial. [5]
Will Adams: Fun fact: my first encounter with calypso -- or the idea of it -- was with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. "Benjamin Calypso," much like "Under the Sea" and now Luis Fonsi's "Calypso," serve less as examples of specific Caribbean genres and more shorthand meant to evoke the feel-good tropicalia of a Wheel of Fortune prize package. The designs for another global smash -- high-fructose corn syrup backing; counting up in different languages -- are respectively obvious and awkward, but the most concerning aspect of this is Stefflon Don getting stuck with yet another dud of a feature. [4]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]
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