#ch-bertie

[sejanuspiinth]

JACK LOWDEN AND OPHELIA LOVIBOND tommy’s honour ( 2016 )

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Christmas 2023 Part 2: Marked for Later

And here's part two of the Christmas Fic list for this year! Please make sure you check out the lists below for previous Christmas lists! Don't hesitate to add your own recent Christmas and NYE fics below! All will be added on subsequent reblogs! :D

Merry Christmas!

[PART ONE]

See also:

Christmas Fics (Dec. 2017)

Christmas: Oblivious That One or The Other is In a Relationship

Christmas 2019 Part 1 (All Bookmarks XMas and New Years)

Christmas 2019 Part 2 (Marked for Later)

G / T / K+ Rated Christmas Fics (Dec. 2018) (Updated Dec 2021)

Community Recs: Christmas 2020 (Updated Dec 2021)

Christmas Trees / Decorating

Christmas-Time Love Confessions

New Year’s Fics (Jan 2023)

Christmas & New Year's Eve 2023 Pt. 1: Bookmarks & WiPs

Not a Word by notjustmom (NR, 114 w., 1 Ch. || Dancing, Christmas) – Just them dancing in Baker Street.

Big question! The Gift by AnAnYaH (G, 508 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Love Confessions, Dialogue Only, Fluff) – Christmas is not far and John has plans for a perfect gift for his little daughter.

Costumes for Christmas by AnAnYaH (G, 518 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, First Time, Costume Kink, Christmas Party) – It's a costume party , and Sherlock is late.

Deck the Halls However You See Fit by Yuliares (G, 752 w., 1 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Asexual Sherlock, Holiday Fluff, Mary Ships It) – Relaxed domestic holiday fluff. In a nebulous future where John and Mary move in downstairs after Mrs. Hudson retires, the gang preps for their annual Christmas party in 221B Baker Street.

Something red, something green, something sparkly by Silvergirl (M, 1,106 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Christmas, Texting, Impending Desperation, Gift Shopping) – If you can't solve a puzzle yourself, ask the experts. Of course, the experts may be utterly useless ... until they aren't.

The Man in Aisle Ten by standbygo (G, 1,395 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Christmas, Shopping, Gifts, Original Female Character POV) – It's Christmas Eve, the busiest day for shopping at Harrod's, and there's a guy in aisle ten who's snapping at every sales associate who dares to approach him. It's up to Moira to help him find the perfect present. [TRANSLATIONS: Русский || 中国] 

221B's Christmas Tree by SatanDrankMyCoffee (G, 1,634 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff, Bratty Sherlock, Domestics, Decorations) – One of the staples of most people's holiday season is decorating the tree; John and Sherlock are no exception.

Mistletoe is a Parasite by Breath4Soul (M, 1,896 w, 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, First Kiss, Mistletoe, Drinking, Dom/Sub Undertones) – It’s Christmas and after some interesting revelations at Molly Hooper's holiday party, Sherlock takes his cue from Mistletoe to take matters into his own hands. Mistletoe attaches, penetrates and absorbs... turns out that is right up Sherlock's alley...

A Little Christmas Spirit by Berty (E, 2,077 w., 1 Ch. || POV Sherlock, First Time, Blow Jobs, Christmas Fluff, Canon Divergence) – Sherlock should really learn NOT to tune John out when he's talking. He might just be missing something important.

Snap, Crackle, Pop by Call_Me_Clarence (G, 2,243 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, New Year’s Party, Panic Attacks, PTSD / Flashbacks, Dissociation, Cuddling, Caring Sherlock, Christmas Crackers) – John has a flashback during a New Years party. Sherlock tries his best to help.

Home For Christmas? by Bluebellstar (T, 2,572 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Canon, Pre-ASiP, Captain John, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Sad Sherlock, Big Brother Mycroft, Soft Mycroft, Established Relationship) – Sherlock Holmes wants one thing for Christmas. The one thing he knows he cannot have. He wants John Watson back from Afghanistan. But with John's leave unexpectedly cancelled, Sherlock has to spend another Christmas alone. Part 3 of the Christmas at 221B series

The Christmas Dragon by eragon19 (M, 2,615 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Love Confessions, Fluff, Presents) – Sherlock needs to find the perfect gift for John. Luckily a toy in a shop window gives him an idea. Part 9 of the Prompt Fills series

The Joye of Snacks by khorazir (T, 3,373 w. 1 Ch. || Christmas, Baking, Domesticity, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Banter) – Christmas is approaching, and Sherlock surprises John with newly acquired culinary skills. John, in turn, simply ... surprises Sherlock.

The Romance Was There by apliddell (G, 4,011 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Post Mary, Christmas, Domestics, Villain Mary, Platonic Bedsharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Letters) – In which Sherlock reveals his merits as a housekeeper, and a few other things, too.

Shrivelfigs by lifespossible (T, 4,547 w., 1 Ch. || Teen Harry Potter AU || Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Fluff) – John and Sherlock were not a couple, ta very much. They were friends--close friends, best friends. But that was it. Just friends. If you asked John, he’d assure you that was the case. But if you got him on the right side of a couple firewhiskies, well, he might be inclined to tell you he thought it was a damn shame they were only best friends.

Crossing Paths by prettysailorsoldier (T, 5,346 w., 1 Ch. || Uni/Teenlock Coffee Shop AU || Crosswords, Christmas, Fluff) – It seemed like a great idea, a 24-hour coffee shop near a thriving university campus, but, when everyone goes home for the holidays, John finds himself trapped in a ghost town, wiling away the hours of the overnight shift any way he can. Of course, that gets a whole lot easier when a handsome insomniac starts making regular visits, and, somewhere between the case files, crossword puzzles, and copious amounts of coffee, John discovers he doesn't mind the late shift so much after all.

The Unexpected Exchange by testosterone_tea (E, 5,703 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Secret Santa, Vibrators, Masturbation, Love Confessions, Intercrural Sex, Bisexual John, Demisexual Sherlock, Fluff) – When Sherlock is made to participate in the Yard's Secret Santa exchange, he knew it would be a disaster. But even he didn't expect how much of a disaster it would be.

A Smart-Arse Consulting Detective Is For Life, Not Just For Christmas by Berty (T, 5,788 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Friends To Lovers, Trapped, Fluff, Grumpy John, Pining Sherlock, Sharing Body Heat, First Kiss, Frottage, Cold Weather) – So here they sit. Glaring at each other. Locked in an unheated, block-built tack room on a remote farm in Suffolk. With no mobile coverage. On Christmas Eve. Sherlock's definitely NOT on the 'nice' list this year.

If I Knew You Were Coming (I'd Have Baked a Cake) by standbygo (T, 5,850 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Christmas, Fluff, Baking, GBBO References, Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Cooking) – John and Sherlock aren't quite sure how they agreed to hold a Great British Bake Off competition... There will be decorative bread, misuse of the French language, terrible mispronunciation of German words, fluff, bed sharing, and profiteroles.

Such a Clatter by ArwaMachine (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Anal Sex/Fingering, PWP, Toplock, Fluff, Hand Jobs) – Christmas is boring, and the guest bed in Mummy and Father Holmes’ cottage is far too loud for Sherlock and John to have any proper fun. Whatever is to be done?

Coup de Foudre by prettysailorsoldier (T, 6,446 w., 1 Ch. || Teenager/University AU || Alternate First Meeting, Skiing, Winter, Sherlock Speaks French, Christmas Fluff) – When John and his friends decide to blow off some steam after finals with a holiday to the Swiss Alps, he's expecting a week of roaring fires, hot chocolate, and snow as far as the eye can see. He is not expecting to fall head over heels for a fellow guest--a young Frenchman known only as "Blue Scarf"--but John's not one to let a little language barrier get in the way, and, with the help of Google Translate, it might just be a Christmas to remember after all. Part 7 of 25 Days of Johnlock

All I Want for Christmas (is Proof) by Raina_at (E, 6,471 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, Porn Without Plot, Christmas Party, Gay Club, Costume Party, Mistletoe, First Time, Hand Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Crack and Humour, Blow Jobs, Undercover for a Case) – John has been ridiculously in love with Sherlock for a while now, but he doesn't want to rock the boat if his interest isn't returned. Their newest case might be the catalyst they need to finally figure out whether they're on the same page. Or: Sherlock and John go undercover at a Christmas party in a gay club. In costume. Things... escalate.

That Time of Year by JRow (T, 6,717 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Christmas, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Presents, First Kiss, Confessions, Rosie) – It's Christmas Eve. The tree is decorated, the mince pies are out, and Rosie is fast asleep. Flipping his mobile in his hand, John wonders what Sherlock is doing. Then he wonders, not for the first time, what it means that Sherlock is never far from his mind. Before he can stop himself, John hits the call button.

The World In Solemn Stillness Lay by J_Baillier (T, 6,855 w., 2 Ch. || Post-S4, Christmas, Angst, Medical Conditions, Big Brother Mycroft, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, Family Issues) – Rosie's first Christmas without her mother is approaching fast, and John isn't coping well with the pressures of being a single parent. Can Sherlock scrape his new family back together?

Cross My Heart (And Hope To Die) by prettysailorsoldier (M, 7,306 w., 1 Ch. || University AU || Puppies, Miscommunication, Blow Jobs, Shower Sex, Christmas, Happy Ending) – When John starts acting suspicious in the run up to Christmas, lying about being at work and taking secret phone calls in the bathroom, Sherlock comes to seemingly the only conclusion, that John must be cheating on him. Unwilling to confront him, and apparently unable to make him stay, Sherlock does the only thing he can: leave before he is left. That is, until an unlikely phone call on Christmas Eve turns everything on its head... Part 11 of the 25 Days of Johnlock series

The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows by Raina_at (E, 7,568 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Christmas Party, Stuck in an Elevator, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex) – Sherlock is back from the dead. Now all he has to do is get back his Blogger.

of midnight moments and mistletoe by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 7,669 w., 4 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Christmas, First Kiss, Fluff, Mistletoe, Snow) – John and Sherlock are throwing a Christmas Eve party, and the flat is all strung up with mistletoe.

Darkness reigns at the foot of a lighthouse by saintscully (E, 7,682 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Missing Scene, POV Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Light Dom/Sub, Angry Sex, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse, Infidelity, Angst and Feels, Implied Suicidal Ideation, Unhappy Ending) – Why John went back to Mary that Christmas.

The Way Home by Calais_Reno (M, 7,702 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting AU || Christmas, Post-PTSD, Injury Recovery, Meeting the Parents, Coming Home, Past Drug Addiction, Developing Relationship, Moving in Together, Falling in Love, POV Sherlock Third Person) – It's Christmas Eve, and Sherlock's landlord has evicted him due to a little misunderstanding about a very small explosion that really only burned the curtains. Mrs Hudson isn't willing to let him move into 221B until after the holiday. He's left with only one alternative: go home. Spend Christmas with his family. On the train, he meets someone who might just be having an even worse holiday. Part 32 of Just Johnlock

Only Friends by HollyShadow88 (E, 7,514 w., 2 Ch. || University AU || Accidental Voyeurism, Christmas / New Year's, Light Angst, Embarrassed John / Sherlock, Roommates, Alternate First Meeting, Anal Fingering/Sex, Affection, Topping from the Bottom, Enthusiastic Consent, Sex Tapes, Student John / Sherlock, Blow Jobs) – John Watson is assigned Sherlock Holmes as his new roommate when he is transferred to his university. Only problem is, Sherlock's hot, and John has to work around his growing feelings for him while also secretly paying for school with an OnlyFans page. With the end of the term approaching, an accidental discovery changes their relationship.

Dear Sherlock by by Tara Laurel (T, 7,729 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TRF, Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Christmas) – "John was happy. Too happy. Of course Sherlock preferred to see his friend in good spirits, especially after the cloud of depression that had hung over him the past weeks, but this was simply maddening." John's got a serious case of Christmas spirit, but is there something serious hidden behind it - something that surprises & saddens a self-proclaimed sociopath? 

Winning a Lost Bet by meet_me_in_samarra (M, 8,214 w., 2 Ch. || Christmas, Pole Dancing, Established Relationship, Costumes, Glitter, Muscular John, Sexy Sherlock, The Yard) – A lost bet makes Sherlock and John perform a pole-dance in costumes at the Yard´s Christmas party. It was supposed to be humiliating but instead the couple nailed it.

Pardon my French by archea2 (E, 8,232 w., 3 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff, Language Kink, Voice Kink, John in Afghanistan, Fever, Drunk Sherlock, Paternal Lestrade, Clothed Sex, Drunken Confessions, Humour) – Sherlock's closet Jekyll resurfaces when he's drunk, making him tender, earnest and extremely talkative with John. It's all fine with John - or would be, if Sherlock's Subconscious bloody let him speak English on these occasions.

Spell It Out by prettysailorsoldier (M, 8,344 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Fusion || Teenlock, Christmas, Love Potion/Spell, Pining Sherlock) – Remaining at Hogwarts over break has become something of a tradition for Sherlock and John, staying behind together ever since their very first year, but, when Irene throws a gift of doctored coconut ice into the mix, plans quickly change, even if John doesn't. Part 6 of 25 Days of Johnlock

Tomorrow by Berty (M, 9,517, 1 Ch. ||PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism AU || Canon Divergence, Christmas, Hurt/Comfort, Spells and Enchantments, Married John/Mary, Difficult Decisions, Fluff and Angst, Spells and Enchantments) – The night before they travel to Dorset to spend Christmas with Sherlock's parents and John's wife, 221 Baker Street is peaceful with the smell of baking, flickering candles and presents under the tree. But Father Christmas can't be relied upon to bring the boys their heart's desires. Just as well Mrs Hudson - who is NOT a fairy godmother OR their housekeeper, thank you very much - is so good at her job.

Hot Chocolate by ohlooktheresabee (G, 10,756 w., 2 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S4, POV John, Idiots in Love, Christmas Fluff, Developing Relationship, Sherlock’s Heart, Affection, Falling in Love, Past Child Abuse, Light Angst with Happy Ending) – With Sherrinford but a distant memory, Christmas season approaches and John Watson is not in the mood. His friend and flatmate Sherlock disappears for a week, leaving him behind again, and John doesn’t think that things can get any worse. However, with a little help from their friends, he might finally start seeing the reasons to enjoy this Christmas after all... 

no man is a failure by blueink3 (T, 10,836 w., 1 Ch. || It’s a Wonderful Life AU || Christmas, Whump, Suicidal Ideology, Angst with Happy Ending, Familly, Hurt/Comfort) – “John, you’re talking to a dead girl on Christmas Eve in the middle of the Golden Jubilee Bridge. When I say, ‘perk of the job,’ the definition is vast.” She opens her hands in front of her and gives a tiny bow. “Congratulations, it’s December the 24th, 2016 and you, John Hamish Watson, have never been born.”

The Time Being by prettysailorsoldier (M, 11,008 w., 1 Ch. || University AU || John in Afghanistan, Victor Trevor, Time Skips, Poetry, Goodbyes, Christmas, Fluff, Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock sends John off from King's Cross the day before Christmas Eve, he can't bear the thought that it's really goodbye, no matter how much John insists a clean break is best, so he suggests a compromise: Meeting up in that same place 7 years later. What follows are snapshots of the next seven Christmases, chronicling the changes in each man's life, but just because they're growing separately, doesn't mean they're growing apart. Part 3 of 25 Days of Johnlock

A Tale of Two Soldiers by batslikepastel (T, 14,136 w., 5 Ch. || S4 Fix It, Jealous Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Developing Relationship, Cuddling / Snuggling, First Kiss, Stress Baking, Domestic Fluff) – It's Christmas, and Sherlock and John are finally flatmates again after the tumultuous events of the previous year. But a sudden revelation about John's sexuality and James Sholto's unexpected presence throw a wrench into Sherlock's plans, and his jealousy threatens to overwhelm him even as John remains blithely oblivious. Their relationship has reached a turning point, and the ball is in John's court now.

Silent Night by khorazir (M, 15,060 w., 1 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Care Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Reunion, PTSD John, Christmas) – It’s Christmas Eve 1944, and Sherlock Holmes has received his most precious gift already: after a long, dangerous deployment, Surgeon Captain John Watson of the Royal Navy has unexpectedly returned from the front. As if this weren’t enough, there’s a case. Both events make for a night full of promise, excitement, and the difficult task of getting reacquainted with the man Sherlock hasn’t seen in three years and feared he’d lost forever. Part 2 of Enigma

A Story That Is Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Blue Carbuncle by Iwantthatcoat (M, 16,468 w., 10 Ch. || Blue Carbuncle Adaptation, Holmes Parents, Christmas) – It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and the Holmes Family is all set to have one of those unimaginable Christmas dinners— but the game is afoot, as Mummy’s friend is caught up in a Christmas mystery.

The Secret of Hazel Grange by SilentAuror (E, 18,153 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Christmas, COVID-19 / Pandemic, POV Sherlock) – John has a secret, and Sherlock is bothered. Trapped together at Baker Street during the lockdown, the tension only grows worse as Christmas draws nearer...

Serendipity by Calais_Reno (T, 18,222 w., 3 Ch. || Serendipity Fusion || Christmas, Romance, Coincidences, First Meetings, Misunderstandings, New York City, Fate and Destiny) – A bit of New York Christmas fluff, based on the 2001 movie.

Breaking Christmas by MissDavis (M, 18,606 w., 18 Ch. || Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Nipple Piercing, Ficlets, No Angst) – Join me in some established relationship Johnlock as I attempt to make Sherlock and John participate in some Seasonal Fucking Cheer.

Welcome Christmas by MissDavis (T, 18,774 w., 24 Ch || Post S4, Christmas, Winter, Parenthood, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing, First Kiss) – Join John and Sherlock at Baker Street as they celebrate Rosie's first Christmas and beyond. From Rosie crawling around the flat as they tiptoe around each other en route to their first kiss, to a happy retirement with a young grandson who wants to be just like Grandad and Papa, this fic shows how Sherlock and John celebrate Christmas together through the years. 

Mistletoe and Misdemeanours by Robottko (T, 20,738 w., 12 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Coffee Shops, Victor Trevor, First Kiss, Holmes Family, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Drama, Kidnapping) – When Victor Trevor backs out of the Holmes family Christmas at the last minute, Sherlock panics because he has no way to impress his parents. Thankfully there is a handsome army doctor with nowhere to go in his coffee shop, though it would be more helpful if he were a bit more willing.

High Mountain Tea Leaves by disfictional (E, 23,207 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TFP, TD-12, Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Travel, Case Fic, Miscommunication, Shower Sex, Masturbation, Chinese Language, New Year’s Kiss, Toplock) – A mountaintop robbery on a Japanese-occupation-era train where the only item stolen was a small case of mysterious tea leaves in a backpack? An ideal Christmas gift, two days late. Sherlock convinces John to travel for tea.

Danger Nights by khorazir (T, 23,591 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TLD, Friends to Lovers, Mentioned Parentlock, Pining, First Kiss/Time, Winter, Folklore, Wales, Spooky Elements, Bed Sharing, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Spooky Elements) – According to folklore, the nights between Christmas and Twelfth Night are the most dangerous of the year. During them, the Wild Hunt rides, and ghosts and demons come out to haunt unsuspecting and misbehaving folk. An investigation of a series of strange occurrences leads John and Sherlock to Hay-on-Wye on the Welsh Marches, to face ghosts weird and ancient as well as close and personal – and perhaps to start the new year on a more hopeful note than the previous one.

All Roads Lead Home at Christmas by reveling_in_mayhem (T, 25,709 w., 24 Ch. || Post TRF, Christmas, Happy Ending) – Perhaps Christmas could truly be a time for miracles, for some. But John didn't believe in miracles. Not anymore.

Sherlock Holmes & The Mysterious Ex by Gatergirl79 (M, 27,942 w., 16 Ch. || Family, Romance, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John are forced to spend Christmas with Sherlock’s family. An unsettling idea especially when John will have to play ‘Boyfriend’ thanks to Mycroft. But why exactly does Sherlock want to avoid a family party?

If There Were Any Time For A Miracle by Berty (E, 31,732 w., 3 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Christmas, Birthday Party, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Sherlock’s Violin) – John and Sherlock are spending Christmas at the Holmes' family home. Sherlock has a plan that John doesn't know about. John has a wish that Sherlock doesn't know about. If there were any time for a miracle, this would be it.

Miracle on Islington High Street by Jaybeefoxy (M, 33,006 w., 7 Ch. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Mystrade, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Magical Realism, Friends to Lovers, Papa Lestrade, Rosie Watson, Caring Greg) – It's Christmas, and Greg does a favour for someone, only to receive a strange favour in return.

Consulting for Christmas by ohlooktheresabee (G, 40,153 w., 6 Ch. || Far Future Post S4 / Older Rosie, Thriller, Case Fic, Pre-Relationship, Christmas, Paris, POV Alternating, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Mistletoe, Ice Skating, Heist, Awkward Romance, Developing Relationship, For a Case, Background Mystrade, Angst with Happy Ending) – The Louvre Museum in Paris is planning to host the celebrated Winter Fabergé Egg for its winter exhibition - quite the feat as it has not been on public display since 2002. However there is a snag: whispers of a world-renowned master-thief with his eyes set on the valuable prize. The curator has asked the famous Sherlock Holmes to consult on security, but the detective needs a lot of convincing: he is after all a bit busy with trying to woo a certain clueless ex-army doctor… At the same time, John is attempting to balance work, missing Rosie who is off on her gap year, a volunteer gig at a local London orphanage, and seething jealousy upon the arrival of an apparent old friend of Sherlock’s. Attempting to foil the heist of the century while remaining friendly and objective might just be a step too far... A Christmas crime caper packed full of misdirection, miscommunication and mistletoe, set against the romantic backdrop of London and Paris in the winter. Thrown into all this, will our two idiots finally manage to see what has been right in front of them all along?

12 Lays of Christmas Series by distantstarlight (E, 45,164 w. across 12 works || Post-S4, Stand-Alone Ficlets, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Gratuitous Sex) – This series is made up of stand-alone ficlets of varying sizes, all resulting in Johnlock via a number of different routes, and all from my exhaustion fevered brain. Some will have sex and some will not. You don't need to read them in any particular order but I hope you enjoy them when you do. Happy Giftmas Everyone!

Erosion by saintscully (E, 53,386 w., 12 Ch. || Post TFP, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Case Fic, Christmas, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Minor Character Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Divorce, Estrangement, Family Issues, PTSD, Medical Conditions, Mentions of Dementia) – Sherlock’s father falls ill, leaving the surviving family members broken and rudderless. James Sholto shows up in London unexpectedly, his intentions unclear. John has to navigate the consequences of crime, illness and death and their impact on his frayed relationship with Sherlock.

Fairytale of New Scotland Yard by Ewebie (M, 57,858 w., 30 Ch. || Mystrade and Johnlock, Christmas, Advent Fic, Christmas Party, Christmas Presents, Christmas Dinner, Accidental Cuddling, Accidental Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat, Holmes Family) – This is a Christmas love story:Greg Lestrade loved Christmas. He loved winter, the bite in the air, the flurries and occasional actual snow, the colorful lights, the sometimes loud decorations, the songs, the singing, the parties, the people, the presents, the surprises, the food and the drink, and the genuine good cheer... Mycroft Holmes hated Christmas. He hated the winter, the cold actually made his knee and hip ache - though that was not something others were ever to know - the tiny crystals of frozen death that fell from the sky to disrupt the proper function of transportation were terrible, the blinking lights and loud noises brought about his migraines, the abysmal excuse for what passed as music - not to mention the people singing it, dear Lord - the ever increasing social obligations and nonstop political kowtowing, the people, the sheer volume of people... Part 7 of Guess My Race Is Run

You Teach Me and I'll Teach You by Burning_Up_A_Sun (E, 61,165 w., 15 Ch. || Teacher AU || Coming Out, Blow Jobs, Shower Sex, Bed Sharing, Christmas, Rimming, Homophobia, Beach Sex) – Dr. John Watson, with his recent PhD in music education, takes a job at Jesup Arts Magnet Middle School, where he meets the most obnoxious, irritating, fascinating, handsome gifted History teacher. With no where to live, John accepts Sherlock Holmes' offer of sharing a house on Baker Street. But will a Southern community accept two male teachers in a relationship or will they be forced to quit? Part 1 of the Adult Education series

6 Simple Rules For Dating John Watson by prettysailorsoldier (M, 81,958 w., 22 Ch. || Teenager / University AU || Cheating, Christmas, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Roommates) – John Watson's love life may have had its ups and downs, but at least it had some structure. That is, until Sherlock Holmes showed up on his doorstep.

So Grant Us All a Change of Heart by ArwaMachine (E, 83,276 w., 5 Ch. || Christmas Carol Fusion || T6T Compliant, Pining, Angst with Happy Ending, Smut, Temporary Character Death, Drug Use / Reference, Suicide) – It’s Christmastime at Baker Street, but things are far from festive. Mary is dead, John and Sherlock’s friendship is all but ruined, and Sherlock has become a right dick about everything. More convinced than ever that sentiment is objectively useless, Sherlock needs a little paranormal intervention to see the error of his ways or else run the risk of losing all that is important to him.

A Telling Touch by MiyakoToudaiji (E, 91,656 w., 28 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence, Reunion, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Soldier John, Friends to Lovers, BAMF John, Doctor John, War, Syria, Violence, Blood, Injury, Fighting, Soulmates, True Love, First Kiss / Time, Slow Build, Romance, Christmas, Family, Holmes Manor, Childhood Memories, Sherlock’s Violin, Case Fic) – After Sherlock’s death, John manages to get himself re-enlisted and is sent back to war. But when two series of gruesome murders link home and outland together, John is suddenly faced with more battles than he could have imagined.  

By A Thousand Cuts by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 95,662 w., 21 Ch. || Surgeon / Medical AU || Angst, Family Issues / Dynamics, Drama, Established Relationship, Autism Spectrum, Ableism, Depression, Romance, Hospitals, Neurosurgery, Anaesthesia, Doctor!John, Doctor!Sherlock, Christmas, Therapy, Psychological Trauma, Childhood Bullying, Career Crisis, Anger, Hurt/Comfort, Addiction, Sensory Processing Disorder, Parenting, Holidays, Whump) – It's hard to let go of the past, especially when going home for the holidays. An incident just before Christmas brings unpleasant memories to the surface, and the wounds Sherlock carries may take more than just time to heal. Part 11 of the You Go To My Head series

Wild About Harry Series by PlaidAdder (T, 397,189  w. across 9 works || Harry/Clara and Johnlock, Post-TRF, Canon Compliant, Dancing, Case Fics, Morning After, Teamwork, Drug Use, Doctor Who Crossover, Christmas, Alcoholism, Fix It Fics, Alternating POVs, Established Relationships) – This started as a post-Reichenbach fic and turned into a series in which Harry Watson is a repeating character. John and Sherlock get together in the first story ("Empty Houses") and thereafter it's either developing relationship or established relationship. Most of this is case fic and long, but there are a few shorter ones.

[anotherbluesunday]

✨Fic Release: In Technicolor—Ch. 1: Hell in a Handbasket (Pugsley + Cheryl)✨

____________Pugsley/Lee____________

Just past the shopping center that housed the Erewhon Wednesday silently hissed at and Bertie audibly boo'ed was our new school. A glittering beacon of narrow-minded thinking disguised as liberalism if I'd ever seen one, I'd read up on the place. Had Jug and Reggie fill me in on what to expect and it wasn't good.

Insidious racism veiled as social work and fundraisers. Sender students being made into charity cases to make donating families and businesses feel better about themselves while they donate to political campaigns for politicians who couldn't give two shits about the working class. I could see it in the way they looked at us as we pulled up into the student parking lot and hung up the parking permit from the rearview mirror. They were sizing us up. Knew without having to ask that we were from somewhere else. Somewhere where it wasn't commonplace for sixteen year old's to have access to their parents Amex Black card.

Eyes down on the steering wheel for a moment as the girls to our right sat in their brand new canary yellow Jeep Wrangler "whispering" loudly about how dirty the truck was, Bertie reminded me it was only for a year and that chances were not everyone would be as bad as I was making them out to be in my head. Wednesday snorted a laugh from the backseat and I shot her a glance through the mirror saying "Probablemente sean monstruos chupadores de sangre." With a hard reluctant sneer, I forced myself to unbuckle. Grabbed my backpack from the backseat, slipped on my sunglasses, and heaved sigh.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this."

Shrugging her backpack onto her shoulders, Wednesday stood beside me staring at our new prison. "Just close your eyes and count to ten. It'll be over before you know it."

"Promise?"

"No."

Should have known better than to ask. But it made me laugh nonetheless. And that was the only upside here really. I wouldn't be going at this alone. I'd have Wen and Bert and a couple friends if Toni made it through the testing process since her mom made her apply too. We'd be okay. Not great. Not fine. But we'd be okay.

We'll survive.

.

.

.

____________Cheryl____________

Routine on repeat like some b-rate film that used timelooping as a metaphor for repeating the past until the main character righted their wrongs, I put on my morning music playlist as I stepped into the spacious en suite bathroom that had been warmed to seventy-two degrees for me. My shampoo and conditioner never seemed to run out. My bodywash was always in supply. Shaving razors never dulled and toothpaste never emptied paste the halfway point. The only thing I was burdened with was remembering when to restock my skincare items which, even when they did run out, it was never a problem because there was nothing that couldn't be handled with a quick call.

Perfectly controlled and acclimated. It was like a dollhouse inside of a greenhouse.

Everything's monitored and privacy is a privilege.

You missed practice this morning. It was from dad, the message brightening the screen of my phone as I stepped out of the shower. We'll double up tonight's session and split it for before and after dinner.

Staring at the message, I hesitated. Could hear the small scream itching at the back of my neck like nails dragging down the nerves hidden beneath my skin.

I wanted to throw up and I hadn't eaten anything yet.

I'll have homework. I told him.

You can do it afterwards. Slacking off once leads to habitual laziness Cheryl. No excuses.

My stomach knotted. Worked itself up until the familiar aftertaste of vomit ghosted itself on my taste buds.

The cold sweats that came with it.

The dizzying nausea.

Looking at myself in my vanity mirror, I dissected the bags under my dull brown eyes. Examined my hairline to see if it had thinned anymore than what mom had pointed to over the summer when we went on vacation to Portugal. "It must be from the stress. You should sleep more darling" she had said. At least my lashes had grown back after my nervous snap over spring semester.

.

.

.

*IMPORTANT NOTE!: Please do keep in mind while reading that the characters Pubert and Pugsley have nicknames that they go by and will go by for most of the story. For Pugsley, his nickname is “Lee” and for Pubert, his nickname is “Bert” or “Bertie.” Wednesday sometimes goes by “Wen” but I feel like that is a known in the Wednesday fandom but I wanted to mention it quickly for readers in the Riverdale fandom so that they’re in the loop.

.

.

.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Your „Buggy „Bertram“ the clown“ thing reminds me of my own not quite serious but funny little headcanon, namely that Shanks given name isn’t actually „Shanks“ but it was how baby Buggy at age four still pronounced his name and everyone, including Shanks himself just ran with it. By all accounts this is Shanks real name now.

Of course that wouldn’t stop Buggy from using his birthname to mock him. Just imagine it, two adult men fighting over serious matters, Shanks is slowly getting to a point where he’s absolutely done with Buggy’s theatrics, patience is running things. „And I’ll say it again. NO.“ „But-„ „You can’t get me to do it no matter what you say redhead.“ „What? God- Buggy come on. Buggy-„

And suddenly Buggy turns around, expression unnaturally aloof „ Yes? What is it

Charles?“

And the look that Shanks throws him isn’t considered a form of Haki but the angry silence that suddenly falls over everything while Buggy looks like a smug cat could have fooled you.

No but like, I'm cackling while imagining one of their silly arguments as kids devolving into them just shouting their "real names" at each other louder and louder with their fingers jammed in their ears while the rest of the crew just stares like,

"Shut up, Charles!"

"YOU SHUT UP Bertram!"

"CHARLES. CHARLIE. CHUCK."

"BERT. BERTIE. BETTY—"

"CHARLES CHARLES CH—"

"BERTRAM BERTRAM BER—"

"Shouldn't we stop them?"

"No, Roger wants to see who passes out from lack of oxygen first."

"—TRAM BERTRAM BERTRAM BER—"

"—ARLES CHARLES CHARLES CH—"

[hazel-of-sodor]

Something Holy This Way Comes

Ch.9 Shadows

Other Stories

Other Chapters

 The train stopped at Lloergan so the way crews could grab their breakfast and lunch for the trip.

 As they waited, the town's children swarmed around Cassandra, all eager to meet the tank engine. Cassandra and her two coaches happily chatted with the children. Robert signed a few of the children's copies of the books for her.

To the children, it seemed they had her full attention, but Screech noticed that every so often her eyes would look around as if searching for something. Finally, her gaze settled in the direction of the old scrapyard.

Gywn noticed her attention, "the old scrapyard. As far as we know no engines were ever scrapped there, but our steam lorry Arwen was saved from there."

Cassandra nodded slowly, "I can sense a general sense of sadness and exhaustion, but it's muted."

"It's been abandoned for years," Gywn said. "When it was last open 2920 was still our express engine."

Cassandra looked consideringly towards him "2920?"

"A Saint class named Saint David. Miss Morgan tried to get him back when she bought the line...but it was too late. He had long outlasted his siblings when they withdrew him from our lines."

Cassandra stared at the rails before her for a long moment before glancing towards the children around her.

"Can you all keep a secret?"

"Yes/Of course/Always Miss Cassandra!" The children chorused back. Screech noted a faint golden glow flash briefly around the children in tandem with the glow of Caomhnóir's eyes as they made their promise.

"You won't make us promise?" Freda asked in amusement.

"I already know your secret," Cassandra explained, "giving one in return is only fair."

She looked eyes with Gywn, her eyes shining amber, "The Saint class is not extinct."

***

They soon departed Lloergan, once Cassandra had promised the children she would visit again before she left for the North Western.

The strange consist climbed the winding path up the Aurchel Cliffs, Cassandra's puffs contrasting with Screech's barking exhaust. Mali rode on Cassandra's running board at the front, chatting with her about restoring the Argol line. In her role as Caomhnóir, the tank engine had assisted many of the fledgling preservation railways, so had a surprising amount of knowledge on the matter.

They reached Tawel in good time, stopping to allow the workers to climb off and grab their tools. Most of the children of the village didn't recognize Cassandra, only one younger boy recognizing 'Thomas.' Nonetheless, Cassandra had soon won them over with a story about one of her races against Bertie.

The workers had just finished unloading when a seagull swooped in, landing on Screech's runningboard.

"You." Screech rumbled in irritation.

"I see you and Tyto have alot in common," Cassandra chuckled.

"Pardon?"

Screech, who had been slowly moving a tendril towards launching the sky-rat to the next continent, looked up in confusion.

"Tyto has an owl that found her the night Scotsman saved her." The tank engine explained, "It stayed with her and lives in her shed back home."

Screech glanced down at the seagull, who did its best to look innocent, giving a hopeful croon.

"If it gets in the way, I will unmake it."

The seagull gave a happy squawk and hopped over to nestle against Screech's warm boiler.

The line past Tawel ran along the cliffs for several miles as they descended back towards sea level. The cliffs lowered into foothills, where the fishing town of LLanw lay. From there the line raced along the coast, before crossing the River Hafan on a large bridge, entering the port of Glain. 

Work was progressing towards Llanw on the Uman and Din side, while the Chester and Holyhead worked to repair the bridge.

Cassandra was light enough to roll over the old track without concern. Screech noted the rails seemed cleaner after her passing as if her mere presence took away years of wear.

They were crossing a small viaduct when she suddenly stopped.

"Screech, just how tightly are you holding yourself in?"

Screech blinked, "As much as I normally do. My true form would unravel the crew's existence like straw before a fire."

Cassandra frowned, closing her eyes and concentrating.

Before anyone could ask what she was doing, the air around them shimmered and rippled out, a golden sheen tinting the air around them. 

Golden lights shimmered into being around the crews as if thousands of ethereal fireflies circled about them.

"I wouldn't risk it in the city,  but you should be fine out here."

The crews stared curiously as Screech hesitantly let herself unfurl. More and more tendrils flickered into being until her boiler could barely be seen through the rippling shadows, her eyes shone brightly even in the sunlight, frost crept up the rails and coated the nearby trees. The shadows of the forest bent towards her, like moths to a light. The light of the sun turned cold and clear, casting the world into an otherworldly light as if they were far underwater. Finally, with the sound of cracking glass, the air around them shattered into a kaleidoscope of sharp colors, as if they were within the reflection of a shattered mirror. She stopped when she saw the humans begin to react to her presence. It was far from perfect, but Screech couldn't help but laugh at the feeling all the same, the crews shaking as the ground beneath them rippled under them at the sound, but smiling at her obvious relief all the same.

"Better?" Cassandra asked with a smile.

"Much." Screech rumbled happily, stretching as her ever-present ache eased.

Mali ran a hand through her hair curiously as it floated around her as if underwater.

"That's so weird." She said with a smile, unaware her own eyes were glowing softly, soft green light spilling from her gaze.

In Screech's cab, Freda glanced over to Gywn, seeing his eyes glowing. "Make one comment  about how I look positively radiant..." She threatened.

Gywn held up his hands innocently, "I wouldn't dream of it cariad."

'Liar,' the whisper accused lazily.

Cassandra snorted, her eyes shining with slowly spiraling gold.

"Let's get back to work," she said, "the track won't relay itself"

Screech lazily slapped a tendril onto the rails, which snapped back into place one by one down the line and out of sight with a screech of steel.

Cassandra raised an eyebrow, "Nevermind then."

***

Eventually, the sun began its descent towards the ocean, and they were forced to turn back. They had made good progress, and it was hoped that they would reach Llanw the next attempt. They made good time, but darkness was falling when they pulled into Lloergan, stopping to allow the crews to collect their supper.

As Screech had suspected, Cassandra's eyes swung towards the old scrapyard again.

"Something feels off with it, doesn't it." She rumbled. 

Cassandra nodded slowly, "I feel nothing but sadness and exhaustion..."

"But our gaze returns there nonetheless."

Robert returned with his meal, only to stop when he saw both engines staring at the forest. He set his food down.

"We're going in there, aren't we?" He asked wryly.

"Yes/Yes." The engines replied.

Their trains were uncoupled, and the points levered over. Caomhnóir took point, Mali riding on her bufferbeam. The forest was thick, and tracks overgrown, groaning under Screech's weight. The seagull cawed nervously.

They emerged into a clearing filled with mist and fog, piles of metal stacked high, broken car and lorry frames, and the occasional tractor frame lay around, but all appeared to have departed with the Lady before their arrival at the yard. The engines stopped short of the first piles, snorting steam at the sight. The humans cautiously climbed down, walking over to inspect the piles. 

Gywn inspected an old traction engine's remains. "It looks like everything here is just metal." He said.

Freda nodded, "I'm guessing you two might be sensing the scrapyard itself and that's why it feels wrong."

The humans, facing the yard, were oblivious to the two engines tensing.

'We're being watched,' the whisper warned.

'Indeed,' Screech agreed.

"Pull back." Cassandra, no Caomhnóir said tensely.

The humans, confused, quickly obeyed, walking back towards the engines.

But both machines knew it was too late, something was stirring.

They glanced at each other and nodded.

 Caomhnóir let out a shrieking whistle, shaking the ground. The fog was blasted away as a ring of golden light blasted outwards from The Lady's Champion, and with it, the illusion was broken.

The piles of metal suddenly stood taller, and more vehicle frames littered the yard. The aura became darker, twisted, and with enough malice it was felt by not only the crews they had left behind in Lloergan but by the other engines in Uman. A low growling emanated from the yard, the sound of twisting and screeching of metal on metal. 

Screech growled in return, Caomhnóir wheeshing in challenge.

For a moment all was still.

Mali was slowly walking backwards towards Screech when it stuck.

A pile of scrap lashed out, revealing itself to be the arm of a much larger thing.

Caomhnóir's gold light shone around her, but the pile batted her away like a fly before a storm.

Even as Screech's tendrils lashed out towards her, she knew physically catching her wouldn't be enough, that if she stopped her quick enough to keep her body from impaling on the piles of scrap, it would kill her.

Screech reached out a tendril, and Mali fell into the shadow it formed...out of the world of the living...and into Screech

[cobalt-knave]

Mechanisms Fanfic Recs Part 2!

I was delighted to see people actually using my last rec list, and I have read a Lot of mechs fic since then, so let’s go. 

No particular theme, but we’ve got several Gunpowder Tim & Drumbot Brian fics here among others!

Five Times the Mechanisms took care of Gunpowder Tim, and One Time he protected them by TheHoardingPuffin                

One part character study to two parts found family. Featuring: moon war feels, hurt/comfort, and very protective mechanisms.

Indistinguishable From Magic by Garecc, Gunpowderdtim (Garecc)                

An incredibly interesting and well-written fic focusing on Brian of Brian’s past, eldrich powers, prophecy, and an old friendship between a now-metal man and a certain doctor.

One left behind by NammiKisulora

Have you ever wondered what the diary of Marius Von Raum looks like? Have you ever imagined him writing in it while lying in bed, kicking his legs in the air?

Have you ever wanted Brian’s-in-the-sun angst?

Well, boy of boy have you come to the right place! All that and more in this fic!

On Account Of The Jonny Doll by NammiKisulora  

If you’re a whump fan who likes the Mechanisms, you’ve probably wondered how exactly do you hurt an immortal being who seems to like pain a little more than is traditional? The answer of course lies in being rather... creative.

In this horrifying tale, we learn what happens when Jonny d’Ville is executed by skinning.

It also features an excellently-characterized Marius as the pov character!

The Edges of What We Might Be by HicSuntDracones  

In another world, another life, perhaps the Lucky Sevens’ rising star hired a tailor. Perhaps that rising star was one Ashes O’Reilly and that ttailor named Jonny.

A Pocket Full of Posies by Claribelle

IT’S A CROSSOVER WITH WOODEN OVERCOATS AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DELIGHTFUL GO READ IT

It is well with my soul by yallbitter

Hasn’t Brian earned a little revenge?

Vital Maintenance by Triss_Hawkeye

Gunpowder Tim is cleaning his guns when Brian needs the titular “vital maintenance”. But that doesn’t cover the SHEER amount of EMOTIONS that this fic will make you feel. It’s beautiful and well-thought-out, and GO READ IT. 

o, pallas athena! by pidgewings (violentlypan)                 

Emotions! Come get your emotions here!

Gunpowder was never Tim's first name. It was never even his nickname. Gunpowder was Bertie's nickname. 

I Have Broken More and More by fromthedesert                

Brian needs repairs. Tim is there to help him.

it has only just begun by LadyDragonKiller 

Raphaella backstory! Once, she was known as Icarus.

The Walls Begin To Tear by Stargazer_lilies                 

An absolutely excellent opening fic in a series that saves -- if you can call being marked by an eldrich god “saving” -- Lyfrassir Edda. They encounter eventually, a floating piece of space junk... Nastya Rasputina is back.

Nastya and Lyfrassir are wonderful together, a great [platonic] relationship. I love them so much.

This series goes on to cross over with The Magnus Archives, if that is your thing as well.

The Mechanized Archives ch. 5 “The Shadow Of the Moon” by CloudDreamer

It is so easy to forget just how horrifying the Mechanisms and their actions truly are. This chapter is an external POV of someone who’s life ended when the moon was gone and had to live with that consequence. 

This chapter influenced how I think and talk and analyze the Mechanisms. It’s very good and very dark.

The Magnus Archives statement format.

[bluegreene118]

About Me:

Name: Parker

Pronouns: they / them

Age: 26 years around the sun

Time Zone: West Coast (US)

Won’t Do: R.pe, d.ugs, in.est, swearing, anyone under 18.. sorry so be 20+, no Discord or anywhere else just on Tumblr sorry!

Will Do: Third POV, write maybe 3-5 sentences. (With swearing I’ll read and write it like ‘son of a b ch’ if needed but you can doesn’t bother me.), probably a thousand percent be down for lgbtq+ plots. Love au or canon or even something in middle of both.

Ao3: bluegreen_118

Example: Dean was watching a movie about cowboys.. again. Hearing the doorbell he drank some beer before setting it by his remote. Running to the door he opened it and gasped at the blue eyed man with the pizza box. The guy’s name tag read Castiel and Dean looked back at the man taking the pizza boxes. “Thanks.” Dean said out loud but in his head he said ‘son of b ch he’s hot.’

I bolded who I prefer to be but we can figure out if you want to be them instead.

Supernatural: Dean and Castiel, Jody and Donna, Sam and Gabriel …

9–1–1: Buck and Eddie, Tyler Kennedy and Carlos, Hen and Karen, Judd and Grace, Josh and Ravi …

Atypical: Izzie and Casey …

Stranger Things: Steve and Eddie, Nancy and Robin, Jonathan and Argyle …

School Spirits: Maddie and Rhonda, Charley and Wally …

Shadowhunters: Magnus and Alec, Clary and Izzy, Simon and Raphael, Simon and Jace …

Marvel/DC: Harley and Ivy, Erik and Charles, Steve and Bucky, Eddie (Venom) and Wade (Deadpool), Kate and Yelena, Logan (Wolverine) and Wade (Deadpool) Agatha and Rio …

Shameless: Ian and Mickey …

Good Omens: Arizaphale and Crowley …

The Last of US: Bill and Frank …

Our Flag Means Death: Stede and Eddie, Jim and Oluwande, Lucius and Black Pete …

A League of Their Own: Bertie and Gracie, Greta and Carson, Jess and Lupe …

Red, White & Royal Blue: Alex Claremont Diaz and Henry Fox Mountchristen

Teen Wolf: Stiles and Derek …

House of the Dragon: Rhaenyra and Alicent …

Umbrella Academy: Klaus and Dave …

Dead Boy Detectives: Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland …

Love Simon: Simon Spier and Bram Greenfeld …

Descendants: Gil Gaston and Harry Hook, Mal and Evie, Hook and Morgie Le Fay …

Sooo yeah that’s all I can think of top of my head. Will add more to this list as I can think of them.

Thanks for reading and if this all sounds interesting message me. Be happy to start a journey of story telling. Also heads up sorry if I vanish sometimes. Promise I’m not ghost just you know life happens? I’ll get on promise but heads up life does get in the way too. Can’t always be fictional gotta be real world too (bleh I know but eh haha.)

[real-time-twilight]

Eclipse in Real Time

May 22, 2006 (Monday)

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent 🌘

🌄 Sunrise: 5:28 AM

🌅 Sunset : 8:59 PM

Eclipse, Ch. 3 ("Motives") (from Pg. 75, line 18)

8:45 AM (Approx.) - Edward and Bella arrive at school; Edward asks Bella to stay in the car and wait until he comes back; Bella notices Jake with his motorcycle parked on the sidewalk; Edward informs Bella that her assumption regarding Jakes motivation for calling want to see that she was still human, but to plan on talking with Edward in an area with witnesses .

8:50 AM (Approx.) - Edward and Bella approach Jacob; Jacob tells Bella that the Cullens and The Pack had a border dispute involving Emmett and Paul over the weekend; Edward demands that Jacob leave as Bella realises that Edward's real reason for taking Bella to Jacksonville was to get her out of town and away from Victoria

8:57 AM (Approx.) - Principal Greene arrives to formally tell Jacob to vacate the school premises

9:06 AM (Approx.) - Over a series of notes passed in English class, Bella demands the whole story from Edward: Edward explains that Emmett wandered too close to the boundary while chasing Victoria and Paul reacted defensively. Rosalie reacted in kind and Carlisle and Jasper defused the situation.

9:15 AM (Approx.) - Mr. Berty tries to bust Edward and Bella for passing notes in class, only to find that the paper on Edward's desk are his notes on the lesson

11:15 AM (Approx.) - In Calculus, Bella overhears her male classmates (all witnesses to the morning confrontation) betting who would win in a fight between Edward and Jacob

[a-z0-9-i-n-gram-completionist]

1:    0 1 2 3 4 6 a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p r s t u v w x y    30/36    (24/26)    (6/10)

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3:    100 10h abs ace aes aft agg amp and ant arc ari art ass ati ato ber bit bra bru bso bud but cae cap cch cel cie cne coi com dag dan ddy der des ebr ele ell ely ere ers ert esa est ety eve ews exa fac for fro fte ger gge gol hel hid hil hin his how ibe icn ide iet ila ina ing ink ins ion iou ism iss ith itt jou jus kno lar leb les lib low lut mar mat mis mit mmi mpl nal nat nde net new nly not now nte num oci oin old olu omm one onl ont ord orl ory ota our ous owe owi own pit ple put rat rcc rde red rev rio rld rna ron rse rst rti rty rut sar sas sho sin sma soc sol ssa ssi ssu sta sue tan tat ted tel ter the thi tic tio tor tte tus udd ued umi und urn ust ute utu ver wes why win wit wor xam you    176/46656    (174/17576)    (2/1000)

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5:    absol aesar after agger ample arcch ariou assas assin aticn ation atory berty brato brutu bsolu buddy caesa celeb ciety cnews coins commi dagge dante dered derst ebrat elebr ersta evers examp front ggers hilar howin ibert icnew ilari inati ismat issue itted journ known lario lebra liber lowes lutel marcc matic misma mitte mmitt mples natio nders notat numis ociet olute ommit order otati ourna owest owing rator rdere rever rious rstan rutus sassi showi sinat smati socie solut ssass ssina ssued stand tatio think ticne umism under urnal utely verse world xampl    94/60466176    (94/11881376)

6:    absolu aggers amples arious assass assina aticne brator brutus bsolut caesar celebr commit dagger dersta ebrato elebra erstan everse exampl hilari howing iberty icnews ilario inatio ismati issued journa lariou lebrat libert lowest lutely marcch maticn mismat mitted mmitte nation nderst notati numism ociety olutel ommitt ordere otatio ournal ratory rdered revers rstand sassin showin sinati smatic societ solute ssassi ssinat tation ticnew umisma unders xample    66/2176782336    (66/308915776)

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9:    absolutel assassina assinatio bsolutely celebrato committed elebrator hilarious ismaticne lebratory maticnews mismaticn nderstand numismati sassinati smaticnew ssassinat ssination umismatic understan    20/101559956668416    (20/5429503678976)

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11:    assassinati celebratory ismaticnews mismaticnew numismaticn sassination ssassinatio umismaticne    8/131621703842267136    (8/3670344486987776)

12:    assassinatio mismaticnews numismaticne ssassination umismaticnew    5/4738381338321616896    (5/95428956661682176)

13:    assassination numismaticnew umismaticnews    3/170581728179578208256    (3/2481152873203736576)

14:    numismaticnews    1/6140942214464815497216    (1/64509974703297150976)

[ao3feed-jeevesandwooster]

[Arts] Reggie & Bertie / Реджи и Берти

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/cueJg4s " by fandom Anything Retro 2024 (Anything_Retro) Ch.1 Bertie finds an old photo of Reggie Ch2. Reggie finds Bertie Глава 1 = Берти находит старую фотографию Реджи. Глава 2 = Реджи находит Берти Words: 0, Chapters: 2/2, Language: Русский Fandoms: Jeeves and Wooster Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Reginald Jeeves, Bertie Wooster Additional Tags: Fanart, Inspired by a Fanfiction, Digital Art, Mushi Challenge, Art, Embedded Images, Fandom Kombat, Fandom Kombat 2024, Don’t copy to another site " read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58116076

[tacabanda]

Villanelle Classical music playlist a cura di Federico Berti Paul Dukas, Villanelle for French Horn and Piano (1905)Francis Poulenc, VIllanelle, in: Complete Chamber Music, Vol.1Ottorino Respighi, Villanella, Dalle antiche arie e danzeG.L. Dall'Arpa, Villanella ch' all'acqua vaiEva Dall'Acqua (1856-1930), VillanelleFederico Berti, Partenope, Villanella in Sol maggiore Nel contesto italiano della prima metà del XVI secolo,

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: April 19/24

Happy Friday everyone! Check out today's selection of fics to get you through the weekend! And be sure to give the boosted fic some extra love, as it JUST finished being written! :D Enjoy!!

SIGNAL BOOSTING

The Curious Case of the Casablanca Killer by meet_me_in_samarra (G, 55,886 w., 16 Ch. || Post THoB, Case Fic, Bromance / Friendship, Clever John, John is a Conductor of Light, BAMF John / Sherlock, Sassy John, Cheeky Sherlock) – Deemed a three at best, the case of an invisible burglar in a historic cinema who stole nothing only caught Sherlock’s attention because he was bored. Also, he wanted to do John a favour. In the end, this proved to be a real stroke of luck. Otherwise, Sherlock would have missed an intriguing mystery that quickly ramped up in complexity.

RECENT MFLs

Licence to Kiss by fellshish (T, 13,740 w., 4 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Bond Jokes, Angst and Humour, First Kiss, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining) – John loves James Bond. For his Birthday, Sherlock decides to organise a spy adventure. Sherlock begs Mycroft for a real case with some extra gadgets. And perhaps some actors pretending to be criminals. What could possibly go wrong?

Guess Who's Coming for Christmas Dinner by Raina_at (E, 18,623+ w., 2/4 Ch. || WiP || University AU || Fake / Pretend Relationship, Accidental Fake Dating, , Oblivious John / Sherlock, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Christmas, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Alcohol, Past Drug Use, Not-Nice Holmes Family) – Sherlock hates spending Christmas with his snobby parents. John has nowhere to go over the holidays. The heat in 221B is broken and their fridge is empty. Plus, Sherlock's parents will hate John. So of course Sherlock takes John along. It's not his fault that his parents assume John's his boyfriend. Of course John is perfect and all, but Sherlock doesn't do romance. So what harm can there be in pretending, if it makes his parents this mad?

Only Yesterday by Berty (T, 43,378+ w., 17/18 Ch. || Alternate Timelines / 'Yesterday' AU || Post-TRF, POV John, Grief, Mental Instability, Angst, Unrequited Love, Suspense, Scotland, Hurt John, Developing Relationship, Doctor John, John is a Mess) – Sherlock has been gone for two years and John Watson is doing okay. He goes to work. He sleeps (sometimes). He eats. He has colleagues, some of whom are even friends. He has purpose. If it's not a life as others might view it, it's a fair approximation. It's fine. He's fine. One night the lights go out and when they come back on everything is the same except for one important thing. For John it's the most important thing. And suddenly John is not fine at all.

RECENTLY BOOKMARKED LOKIUS FICS

Magic Like You by Anonymous (NR [M], 9,714 w., 5 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Post-S2, Light Angst, Soft, Friends to Lovers, Jotunn Loki, Pining Loki, Heavy Pining, Bed Sharing, Jealous Loki, POV Loki, Living Together, First Kiss/Time) – Loki and Mobius are trying to carve out a new life for themselves after all the chaos and hurt and destruction that was caused by the TVA. This story explores Loki's new life and his relationship to Mobius through magic. (With lots of stupid fun and soft moments along the way, because with these two, it's inevitable.)

[anotherbluesunday]

Fic Update--In Technicolor, Ch.9: The Right Side of my Neck (Cheryl)

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Dark eyes to match his dark hair. Dimples in his full cheeks and a small round nose that mirrored his twins. A voice that was just deep enough to give comfort but light enough in melody that it spanned a multitude of octaves. A cheeky grin. A knowing pop of his brow. The glint in the pools of deep onyx that sat unflinching behind his glasses–how they’d focus on me as I worked out the problems Lee couldn’t quite wrap his head around so he handed them off to me. How even while sitting he was still taller than me and the way he found it so funny whenever he used me as a chin rest.

Conventional but very much not.

“Mañana,” Lee smiled wide and lazy, lit up in shades of gold and warm bronze by the sunshine that washed out the bed. “Dormir bien?”

My eyes danced from his to the little gold Guadalupe tucked into the hollow of his throat then up to his lips as they curled into a bigger grin. One that began to show his nearly perfect teeth that added a strange charm to his smirks. Gold really was his color. Gold and green. And blue.

Catching myself staring when Lee shifted somewhat uncomfortably beneath the weight of my blatant gawking, I looked down. Felt the knot in my throat form again when he awkwardly apologized. Retracted his arm from where it had been sitting happily across my hips–just above my thighs and the band of the boxers he’d lent me for sleeping shorts. This confusing concoction of embarrassment that blended with the urge to keep his arm around me a little while longer. The aggravation at him moving it without my permission. The alarms that went off in screaming unison as I thought it. I knew what my irrational mind wanted to do. What it was trying to force. But I stomped it out. Told her to stop because another step closer to that button was another step closer to self-destruction because giving in meant losing my only friend. The only person who saw me. And I knew better now than to allow myself to trauma bond and build up unrealistic romantic delusions in my head.

Flicking his nose once my brain had performed a swift reboot, I raised a brow at him. “We’re going to be late for class.”

Swatting my hand away as it moved to pinch at him, Lee wiggled back. “H-Hey, stop it. We won’t be late, ‘kay. Bertie’s riding with Wynn so I’ve got the truck.”

“Uh, I still have to get my car from FP’s.”

“Or you could just leave it and hangout with us after school.”

“It’s homecoming tonight, Lee.”

“Okay, and?” he asked, rolling onto his stomach–face relaxed on the pillows bunched up on his folded arms with his questioning gaze locked on me.

“Jason’s playing. I may not be in cheer anymore but I still want to support him. It’s also our last homecoming game so it’s important.”

“Then go to the game and then hangout.”

Letting him think that through for a moment, I rolled my eyes when Lee gave me a silent dumb ‘what?’ in return. “I still wouldn’t have my car. So you’d have to wait for me. Or I could just take an Uber to Ocean Park–”

“You’re not taking an Uber that late.”

“Then you’d have to wait for me because I’m going to the game.”

“Fine,” he said without thinking through what exactly he was agreeing to. And it showed when his brain caught up with his mouth and the dread settled in with minute changes in his eyes and defiant smile. But something else followed. Something that brought the sureness back. “Do people still paint half their faces at football games and go shirtless?”

“Lee, no.”

“If we’re going, I’m making a scene of it.”

“Pugsley Addams, no.”

“Oh-ho yes, Cheryl Blossom. My counselor said the last time we talked I should try having more school spirit.” Laughing in a tickled jovial sort of way despite my groaning and protest, he rotated onto his back. Looked up at me just as I looked up at the ceiling with an exaggerated huff. Poking my chin enough times to get my attention, Lee didn’t drop the smile. “I won’t embarrass you, much. I promise.”

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Spared when Lee steered his father’s attention back to him, I looked down at my phone. Felt my throat clamp shut at the message dad had sent me. Another warning. A threat daring me that if I stayed out another night without his permission I’d be grounded. A word that was code for worse because he knew better than to say what he actually meant in written format. Texting Jason to see if he could fill me in on how pissed father was–which number he was at on our sliding scale–I recoiled at his terse response of “I don’t know Cher.” Today wasn’t a grade-A day for either of us. Wouldn’t be for our friends either. For Betty, especially, but just as much Jason. But I wasn’t trying to antagonize him or make today about myself. I just wanted a heads up on what I would be returning home to. But I had stepped on another landmine, it seemed, without trying. A bomb that I’d have to diffuse when I got back tonight after the game or brace myself for impact when father blew up. It could only be one or the other, never in between. And I would rest-assuredly be handling this on my own. A thought that made me wither inside.

“You good?” Lee whispered low into my ear, his voice a comforting sound to ease my worries. “Cher…?”

I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to leave this place of calm and kindness. A bubble of safety where I could rest my weary head and battered bones without jumping back ready to fight at the slightest sound. I felt my cheek ache. The phantom fractures healed in my arm itch beneath my skin. How my jaw tensed and my eyes welled with dread. I didn’t want to go back. Lee had given me the option of staying longer. One that still, technically, stood. But it wasn’t something that was appropriate to bring up now and I had already told him I couldn’t stay another night. Couldn’t but wanted to so badly.

Looking up as Bertie and Wednesday and Gomez and his brother Fester got up in turn to leave, I watched them as if I weren’t inside my own skin. Passively watched in a disassociated daze as the dawning realization of what my evening would end with sank in. Would I be spitting blood into the sink like last time? How fast would the welts on my skin fade away? Half a year ago father had pulled out enough of my hair in one spot I had to wear it up just to effectively cover up the patch.

Rationing my breaths while working to keep control of myself long enough that no one would notice, I was thankful when Mrs. Addams gently placed a hand on my shoulder and sat me back down. Was certain my legs would have given out had I taken another step. Turning my gaze up to her–my eyes more pleading and hopeful than I had meant for them to be–I watched her closely. Observed as she told her two other children to take her car for the day; something that had both Wednesday and Bertie bug-eyed. But with one quick glance to me, Lee’s twin knew. Capitalized on that brain they both shared the same way Jason and I did, or so I hoped we still did.

“Angelito, darling,” she said to her eldest as Lee looked from me to her, “Could you please get my cell from the kitchen? I need to make a call to your school to inform the dean that you’ll be absent for the day as well as Cher.”

“Right.”

Without question or hesitation, he got up. Let go of my hand that he had been holding without my even knowing until the warmth of his palm had vanished. Eyes still fixed to the woman who was, as her children said, a mother to all, I mouthed a silent “thank you” to her when she looked down. Felt myself wishing I could cry as she told me everything would be fine while dotingly stroking her hand down the back of my head. How could they be so kind? How could they be so welcoming? Non-judgemental when I knew they knew about how I had treated Lee? Wasn’t it a mother’s instinct to protect her sons more intensely than her daughters?

Saying something to her son that I couldn’t understand–something that wasn’t English or Spanish–Morticia patted my cheek softly before Lee helped me up, us both leaving the dining room so that she could make her call. Said it was a good thing I hadn’t spent extra time on my makeup that morning since we were staying put for the day. I didn’t realize I hadn’t done my makeup yet until he mentioned it which made me laugh. Something that seemed to confuse Lee but didn’t bother having it explained because he smiled too. Chuckled when I made a turn toward the doors that led outside into the backyard.

Exiting out onto the minimally sheltered porch, I walked out a little further. Fell back onto the hammock bed with a padded body and plush pillows to break my fall. Laughing with some tears of relief breaking free, I swung between joy and the jitter that came from my anxious release. Sniffled and couldn’t stop even as Lee rolled over from where he had plopped down and hugged me tight. Eyes closed as he rubbed circles into my back cooing “shh, you’re okay,” I made myself believe in his words. Made myself trust him and his mother because my paranoid mind whispered in my ear that this was all a hoax. That Mrs. Addams was calling my father to tell him where I was and to come get me. But she would not do such a thing. I didn’t have much to go off of since I had only met her the night before. But I knew selling people down the river was not something that was in her nature. None of her children were like that. Her husband wasn’t either. None of them were so I could trust them when they gave their word.

I could trust this peace. This safety.

Focusing on a new sound filling the space around us, I could hear Pugsley humming. Felt the vibrations in his chest as they traveled up to his throat that moved against the minimal press of my forehead. Heard him as he murmured the words to “Sparks” which was a Coldplay favorite we both shared. Heard the lyrics isolate themselves in my mind as he sang “But I promise you this. I’ll always look out for you.” Sang back to him “And I saw sparks” which made his jaw move downward slightly when he smiled. He told me I was skipping the best parts. I told him the whole song was the best part. Looking down at me with an arched brow, he bit at my nose. Said it was good to have me arguing with him again.

Ironic, I found it, that the part of me that used to annoy him most was now Lee’s barometer for telling whether or not I was okay in the head.

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[raisab332012]

https://thebuckinghampalacetattler.quora.com/Alice-and-Bertie-when-they-were-younger-Jokes-on-all-the-people-who-doubted-them-both-including-Queen-Victoria-it-s

https://thebuckinghampalacetattler.quora.com/Alice-and-Bertie-when-they-were-younger-Jokes-on-all-the-people-who-doubted-them-both-including-Queen-Victoria-it-s https://thebuckinghampalacetattler.quora.com/Alice-and-Bertie-when-they-were-younger-Jokes-on-all-the-people-who-doubted-them-both-including-Queen-Victoria-it-s?ch=15&oid=102938343&share=c0ac4df3&srid=7KVRc&target_type=post

[fortune-maiden]

Vestaria Saga II does not rank your units’ by battles/kills, just lists them in order so I decided to find my Top 5 MVPs

Top 5 in terms of Battles Fought:

5. Haldyn: 131 Battles, 83 Victories

With an unbreakable sword as his Personal Weapon, Great Availability, and a debut chapter that involves throwing him at hordes of enemies, it’s not surprising to see him here. Haldyn was one of my faves in the first game and he is even better in this one. Super Dodgy, a skill that can null damage, Astra...

But really, it’s the unbreakable sword mostly xD

4. Barzelphen: 134 Battles, 49 Victories

.............I know blatant favoritism was involved (it’s very lucrative to level him up), but I’m still surprised to see that Barzy actually made the Top 5 for Battles. Probably has to do with him very definitely having some kind of hidden Provoke skill (enemies just love to target him!). Or me finding creative uses for the Axe of Love.

Or possibly his stupid powerful 2nd Personal Weapon in the final chapter making him an excellent candidate to throw at hordes of enemies. All while armed with the Power of Love!

3.  Ashram: 136 Battles, 87 Victories

I love how the bottom three are so close in terms of battles fought. Ashram has some of the best availability (starting from Ch 1 helps) and is a very nice delete button in the early game. And the mid game. And also the endgame. imo, he’s this game’s Troy. Excellent unit, Very powerful, BURNING THROUGH ALL YOUR WEAPONS WITH UNWANTED MULTICHANCE PROCS

Also I like his storyline and bond with Irene

2. Bertoullia: 167 Battles, 73 Victories

I spent the first half of the game avoiding using the dragon because I was worried about the costs. That was very stupid of me and I think if I had used her at every opportunity, she would have gotten the #1 spot. Berty is a literal dragon and exactly as powerful as you would expect from a dragon. All of the good skills went to making her even more stupid powerful than she already was.

But seriously, 20 gold per turn is nothing considering you never have to outfit her with weapons! I’m pretty sure she cost me the least amount of money of anyone in this army!

Pairs well with Barzelphen. One level up from him can feed the Dragon for 30 turns! :D

1. Zade: 199 Battles, 97 Victories

The protagonist! :D

I don’t really have much else to say. He’s the protagonist and he gets the job done!

He also turned out really well for me level wise but idk if thats because of his own growths or him getting to keep the Art of War scroll the whole game xD

-

Top 5 in terms of Victories:

5. Bertoullia: 167 Battles, 73 Victories

I’m kind of amused that she was Top 2 for battles, but #5 for winning those battles. I’m curious how this is calculated. Is this how many enemies she crisped? I feel like Berty always won her battles...

4. Amlute: 112 Battles, 75 Victories

I am.... actually kind of shocked to see him in the Top 5. But I guess he was a huge asset in the chapters where you have to use him (by virtue of being the best of his companions). And well.... Seraphim Bow.......

imo his usefulness drops off when he runs out of Personal Weapon, and his PW is one of the worser ones in the game. Still good but not worth restoring over others.

3. Tie between Haldyn & Drake: 106 Battles, 83 Victories

Haldyn is Haldyn, but Drake is single most ridiculous character I have ever had the joy of using in a FE/Kaga Saga game. If I didn’t have to be concerned with weapon durability for most of the game, I’m sure he would have taken the Top spot for everything.

Who thought it was a good idea to give the squishy utility character a personal weapon that is both ranged & guarantees crits on counter, Canto, a second personal weapon that is stupid strong and grants a def & res buff, a personal accessory that blocks status effects, and STATS!?

Kaga that’s who. He is a madman and I love it.

Once Drake also got Weaponguard, I was absolutely using him as a delete button for everything!

Also side note, out of everyone here Drake also has the best Win:Battle ratio at 78%

2. Ashram: 136 Battles, 87 Victories 

1. Zade: 199 Battles, 97 Victories

I don’t have anything else to add here.

...I’m really surprised none of the mages made it here, considering how good mages are in this game. I guess Berty is the closest since her attacks are magical.

But really I thought I used Phoeve a lot more.

-

Other Special Mentions because I just want to ramble about my faves more

Sujata/Irene - Giving her the Taskmaster skill was the single best decision I made in this game. I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t get the appeal of Sujata with her Berserk at 1hp offsetting any usefulness her invincibility gets her. I was really struggling to find any use for her beyond making Ashram dodgier until Taskmaster came along. Her excellent mobility, ridiculous evasion, and no reason to ever see combat made her the perfect dancer who could follow the army to the frontlines without fear.

And then she lost the Berserk drawback, and became actually invincible and the perfect character to send off for potentially dangerous side objectives. Nothing could hit her. And if it hit her, it couldn’t kill her anyway xD

Sheela - Look I just like Sheela a lot and was so happy that she and Zayid were in this game and got plot/characterization relevance! She was great in the first game (worst archer? nope not hearing it), and even better in this one! She’s my favorite ;w;

Slayne - Marginally useful in the first game (Arbalests are great but bad strength and accuracy limited his use), A DELETE BUTTON IN THIS ONE. I can’t count how many levels were made more manageable by bringing Slayne and having him snipe distant threats before they became problems. Pity he left after Ch 20 for plot reasons. That absence was FELT.

Castore/Porruck - And then Castore & Porruck turned into pirate ships and I had two new Arbalesters! :D

Karajan - He is probably one of the most minor characters in this game but between a personal weapon that lets him attack at 3 range, and being the only character who can use the enemy-dropped healing staves during a 10-ish chapter stretch of the game WHERE YOU CANT BUY HEALING STAVES... Karajan is very good.

Bennette - Bennette is a monster and I say this with all the love and adoration in the world. She’s not the strongest archer stat-wise, but she crits so often that it’s rarely a problem. (and no she doesn’t have a high crit rate. She’s just that lucky) Also she’s a healer and gets some great support skills. Her absence in the final third of the game was FELT T_T

Fauve - His Champion’s Axe PW is just so good. Fauve in general is so good. Many a points were choked by him and his axe!

Mia - I love her ridiculous Blessed Hoe Personal Weapon so much. SO MUCH.

Ravinia - I wish I had you for more than 2 chapters. You could have been Haldyn but BETTER!

[funkyllama]

RoseWall Cottage, October 5, 1956.

This is the beginning. / Next. / Character Page. / Worldbuilding. Transcript under the cut.

LORRAINE : "And this is my dolly, I named her Janet." VIVIANE : “C’mon, Lorri.” [Orville enters, Lorraine and Viviane exit. Cut to Orville and Bertie sitting at table, mid-conversation.] BERTIE : "Those two are as thick as thieves." ORVILLE : "Mhm, hopefully they'll stay that way. Would you like some tea?" BERTIE : "No, Sir, I don't think I'll be staying too long." ORVILLE : "Oh... alright then. How can I help you?" BERTIE : "I actually came to extend my congratulations, Your Majesty. There's so much life ahead of you, and you have the world, or rather the country, at your fingertips. What do you plan to do with it?" ORVILLE : "I don't have a plan?" BERTIE : "You're the leader, you need a plan." ORVILLE : "I'm the figurehead." BERTIE : "And that's where you're wrong, Sir. Your father and I-" ORVILLE : "Don't." BERTIE : "..." ORVILLE : "You've had six months to send your congratulations, why are you here now?" BERTIE : "I want to help you, Orville. Please let me help you, you clearly need someone with more experience-" ORVILLE : "[chuckles] Because you know so much about leadership?" BERTIE : "Well... then, I'll be at your service when you're ready to talk."