#ch: young ian

[incorrect-outlander-quotes]

Young Ian: Sorry I got us into this, Uncle Jamie. I was useless out there. I didn't even get one punch in. Jamie: That's not true, lad. You hit me at one point.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Other ways for your character to say I love you?

“And the sunlight clasps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea – What are all these kissings worth if thou kiss not me?” —Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love’s Philosophy

Be soft on someone - to love someone or like someone very much

“Be with me, darling, early and late.” —John Frederick Nims, Love Poem

Besotted - to be completely in love with someone and always thinking of them

Carry a torch for [someone] - to be in love with someone

“Clasp me close in your warm young arms, while the pale stars shine above, and we’ll live our whole young lives away in the joys of a living love.” —Ella Wheeler Wilcox, I Love You

“Come live with me, and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove.” —John Donne, The Bait

Dote on someone - to love someone completely and believe they are perfect

“Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine; Or leave a kiss but in the cup, And I’ll not look for wine.” —Ben Jonson, Song: To Celia

"For God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love [you]." —John Donne 1572–1631 English poet and divine: Songs and Sonnets ‘The Canonization’

Head over heels (in love) - completely in love

“I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you. Tell me what to do. Show me how to behave. I’ll do anything you say.” —Choderlos de Laclos, Dangerous Liaisons

“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.” —A.S. Byatt, Possession

“I dreamed you bewitched me into bed and sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.” —Sylvia Plath, Mad Girl’s Love Song

“I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.” —W.B. Yeats, Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

“I have to tell you, there are times when the sun strikes me like a gong, and I remember everything, even your ears.” —Dorothea Grossman, I Have to Tell You

“I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” —Gabriel García Márquez, Love In The Time Of Cholera

“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.” —Elizabeth Barrett Browning, How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…

“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.” ―Margaret Atwood, Variation on the Word Sleep

“I'll help you hide the body, always.” ―Me (L. V.)

“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.” ―Ian McEwan, Atonement

“If certain, when this life was out, That yours and mine should be, I’d toss it yonder like a rind, And taste eternity.” ―Emily Dickinson, If You Were Coming in the Fall

"If I love you, what does that matter to you!" —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749–1832 German poet, novelist, and dramatist: Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre (1795–6) bk. 4, ch. 9

"Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’" —Erich Fromm 1900–80 American philosopher and psychologist: The Art of Loving (1956)

“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” —Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice

Infatuated with someone - having a very strong but not usually lasting feeling of love or attraction for someone

“It well may be that in a difficult hour, Pinned down by pain and moaning for release, Or nagged by want past resolution’s power, I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It well may be. I do not think I would.” —Edna St. Vincent Millay, Love Is Not All

Live for someone - to have someone as the most important thing in your life

Lose your heart to someone - to fall in love with someone

Love me, love my dog - said to warn someone that if they want to be in a relationship with you, they must be willing to accept everything about you

Love someone to the moon and back - to love someone very much, usually used to tell someone how much you love them

“Oh plunge me deep in love – put out my senses, leave me deaf and blind, swept by the tempest of your love, a taper in a rushing wind.” —Sara Teasdale, I Am Not Yours

Steal someone's heart - if someone steals your heart, you start to love or like them very much

Sweep someone off their feet - to make someone become suddenly and completely in love with you

The apple of someone's eye - the person who someone loves most and is very proud of

The light of your life - the person you love most

“This poem is endless, the odds against us are endless, our chances of being alive together statistically nonexistent; still we have made it.” —Lisel Mueller, Alive Together

“Trees and seas have flown away, I call it loving you.” —Reginald Shepherd, You, Therefore

Worship the ground someone walks on - to love and admire someone very much

“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” —Arthur Conan Doyle, The White Company

“You are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing.” —E.E. Cummings, I Carry Your Heart With Me

Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[pocket-lad]

CH 12- Movie Night

Prev ● Masterpost

“Missing,” Ian repeated slowly, digesting the information. “For how long?”

“I dunno,” Ollie shrugged. “The last time I saw her was right before you guys had that fight, uh…when you rearranged the cabinets.” She hoped giving up the information that she eavesdropped on their argument didn’t bite her in the ass.

Ian swallowed. “And you didn’t say anything?” He tried to keep his voice calm, but he was more than a bit irritated.

“I - I thought she didn’t want to see me, and……I am not explaining myself to you. But I’ve been looking all morning, and I got my dad and my brother to look, but Ian…”

Ian took a deep breath, looking away. He shouldn’t panic just yet, and he shouldn’t get angry. This was a scared, young woman with no idea what to do and nowhere to turn. It was a miracle she even came to him at all, so he could not scare her away.

“Okay, keep - keep looking. I’ll look around, too, and uh, meet you back here in a bit, alright?”

Ollie nodded. She didn’t know where else she could possibly look, but it didn’t hurt to try again. This time, she didn’t bother to keep her voice down while she called out for Adelaide. The two Beans in the house knew she was there. No point in hiding it, especially when this could be life or death.

On Ian’s part, he enlisted Sarah’s help to check every nook and cranny imaginable. He figured Adelaide would respond to his voice if she was nearby, but he couldn’t not check.

She never turned up.

Everyone reconvened in the kitchen. Ollie faltered a little when there was one more Bean than she expected in the kitchen, but finding Adelaide was much more important than any residual fear she felt.

Ian paced around the kitchen. “We weren't gone that long. I don’t understand.”

“You were gone? When?” Ollie interrupted. She shrank into herself when all eyes fell on her.

“We - we left right after Adelaide and I had our, um…disagreement.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Okay…explain?” Ian prompted irritably. Sarah placed a calming hand on his arm.

“I, um…I heard you. I heard you arguing, and then maybe fifteen minutes later there was a lot of scuffling, and I didn’t want to interrupt-”

“Ollie. We weren’t here,” Sarah said.

“Then who was?”

“Oh my god,” Ian breathed.

Sarah shot to her feet. “I’ll contact the building manager. See if they can pull security footage.” She raced out the door.

“God damn it!” Ian yelled, kicking a chair.

All reason left the room as Ollie ran back into the wall, freaked out by the violent outburst. The way he was able to kick an immovable object with such force that it skittered across the kitchen was overwhelming.

“Ollie, no. Ollie, wait. Come back,” Ian said.

Ollie didn’t want to be anywhere near him if that happened again, but he was her best shot at finding Adelaide. She peeked just her head around the corner, watching him with extreme caution.

Ian slowly leaned down and rested his elbows on the counter, maintaining eye contact with the borrower the whole way. “It sounds like somebody broke into the apartment,” he explained quietly. 

“W - why?”

Ian’s eyes darted around in search of an answer that wasn’t there. “Good question.” He sighed, sitting back in a chair but immediately pushing himself back to his feet to continue pacing. He had too much energy he didn’t know what to do with. “I have a better question for you.”

Ollie stayed rooted inside the wall. This could go a million different directions, and most of them felt bad.

“Were they here because of Adelaide? Or…or did they happen across the littlest, uh, strangest, extremely profitable being and hatch an idea?”

“I…I don’t…know?”

“That wasn’t a question.”

“But-”

“That wasn’t a question I wanted you to answer.”

Ollie’s head spun. “Right…So what do we do?”

Ian couldn’t say, ‘I don’t know.’ He couldn’t run into a wall so soon. There had to be something they could do right now. He just had to think harder. “And you’re sure you didn’t see or hear anything? What about that - that family of yours?”

“I don’t think so, but I can ask-”

“Go ask...Please.”

But just like she thought, they didn’t know anything about an intruder.

“Ollie, slow down,” her dad said, steadying her shoulders. “What did you find out?”

Ollie realized she was breathing a lot harder than necessary. Her eyes searched his in panic. She always went to her dad when there was a problem. At least, a problem that wouldn’t get her in trouble. But this seemed too big even for him. And if it was too big for her dad, then it might as well have been hopeless.

“Adelaide, she - she was kidnapped!” she shouted.

Dane didn’t let his thoughts show on his face just yet. “Kidnapped? By who?”

“I don’t know! It was some Bean. They broke into the house and - and took her, and even the Beans didn’t know, and Ian thought I should ask you.”

“Ask me what?” There was an apprehension in his voice at the notion of the Bean asking for his help.

“Did you see anyone? Or anything like that?”

“No-”

Ollie let out a frustrated noise and turned to run back to the kitchen. Dane tried to catch her by the arm but missed. He didn’t pursue. She was going to see the Beans, he knew he couldn’t stop her, and he wanted to be nowhere near them. In the meantime, he’d keep looking. They’d talk about this later.

Ollie returned at the same time as Sarah and neither looked very hopeful.

“Anything?” Ian prompted.

Sarah shook her head. “We can see him breaking in, but can’t get a good shot of his face. It’s like he knew where the cameras were.”

Not only was the lack of a face or name disappointing, but the confirmation that somebody had broken into the apartment placed a weight on everyone’s chest. Whoever that man was, he had Adelaide.

Unable to take no for an answer, Ian chose to look at the tapes himself. He stormed out of the house, slamming the door along the way and causing both Sarah and Ollie to jump. A heavy silence filled the air.

Sarah stepped up to break it. “It’ll be alright.”

“How do you know that?” Ollie spat.

After a pause, Sarah answered honestly. “I don’t. But I’m going to pretend I do until we make it true, because that’s the only option, isn’t it?”

Ollie wanted to divulge her thoughts. She wanted to say that it was her fault, that she should have tried to check up on Adelaide sooner, that she shouldn’t have just assumed Adelaide wanted to be left alone. She shouldn’t have assumed that whatever was happening outside the walls was normal. Ollie was a borrower. It was her duty to support and protect other borrowers whenever she could, and she failed.

So Ollie deserved whatever the consequences were, but she just couldn’t fess up. One look at the size of the people around her ripped all the words from her throat. She thought back to Ian kicking the chair, to him slamming the door. That wasn’t something to be messed with.

Sarah sensed Ollie’s apprehension but interpreted it differently. “He’s not mad at you. He just gets that way.”

Well he should be, Ollie thought.

“I’m going to make tea. Do you want anything?” Sarah offered.

Ollie shook her head no. Sarah turned to go make tea anyway, and Ollie settled on the ground to watch. The ease with which the human could move everything and obtain hot water was mesmerizing. After some time, Sarah turned around, and she had a steaming bottle cap in her hand. She slowly placed it in front of Ollie, and Ollie only pulled her knees closer to her chest in reaction. She didn’t have energy to do much else.

“Thanks,” Ollie whispered. The cap was placed a bit out of reach, which was probably Sarah’s attempt to not get too close and startle the borrower off, but that also meant Ollie would have to abandon the cover over her head to get to it.

Before she could, the door swung open and she scurried in the opposite direction. After she realized it was Ian though, she got to her feet and came out a little, hoping for any kind of an update. He carried a black rectangle in his hand.

“How-” Sarah began.

“I convinced him to give it to me,” Ian exhaled with a smile. He sounded out of breath. Whatever he just did to get that tape, Sarah didn’t want to know.

The humans raced over to the TV to place it in the VCR, leaving Ollie behind on the counter in their excitement. Sarah seemed to realize this and stopped in her tracks. “This is the recording of the man who broke in. You want to come watch?”

Yes, Ollie did want to watch. But she picked up on the subtext of Sarah’s ask, and no, she did not want to be carried over there. Abandoning her tea without ever taking a sip, Ollie pulled out her hook to venture across the small home. 

Sarah looked like she was going to offer help but decided against it. If Ollie wanted help, she’d ask, and Sarah didn’t want to assume. She and Ian started the tape and fast forwarded to the correct time stamp. It was less than twenty seconds worth of footage in a day-long video, so there would be a lot of rewinding and playing and rewinding and playing.

Ollie ran along the edge of the walls, pulling away the dust bunnies that insisted on clinging to her skin. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She was putting herself well out of reach of the safety of the walls and into arms reach of two anxious, upset giants.

It’s for Adelaide. It’s for Adelaide. It’s for Adelaide . If she kept reminding herself of this, maybe it would make them less intimidating. Maybe. Not really. Ugh.

Ollie stopped in line with the couch and launched her hook onto the side table. She tried to ignore the loud breathing of the Beans nearby, but she hardly needed to worry about them, since their eyes were glued to the TV, searching for any detail they could pull out of the fuzzy picture. At worst, they would accidentally knock her off the table, which…still wasn’t good.

Ian glanced down when he felt Ollie’s presence. She stiffened, but his eyes were back on the video in less than a second.

Ollie watched as they replayed the same clip over and over again. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to focus on, since they couldn’t even see the man’s face, but she felt an unexpected sense of awe and wonder at seeing the outside of the apartment. She’d never been out there before, and she honestly never even thought about what it would look like.

It was a long hallway with a bunch of identical, rusted pink doors. There was something written on each one, way too blurry to make out. The floor looked dingy and the lighting was horrible, but it was a whole new world. A whole new world that the Beans probably saw every single day.

Ollie looked to her right, way over across the vast expanse of the room. If she could open that door, she’d see exactly what she was seeing on the screen right now. What a novel concept.

They all watched the video for ages, to the point where the moon was clearly visible in the night sky. Ollie still didn’t know what to look for, even after it played a million times.

Sarah’s voice nearly startled Ollie right off the table. “Sweetheart, I think it’s time to go to bed.”

Ian ignored her.

Sarah pursed her lips and tried again, lightly grabbing his arm. “Come on.”

Ian ignored her.

That was it. Sarah was trying very hard to be gentle with Ian this whole week, but he wasn’t going to budge if she didn’t make him budge. She stood up and tugged on his arm harder. “Come on. You won’t be of any use to her like this. We’ve watched this over a hundred times. We’ll come in with a fresh perspective tomorrow, but you’ll drive yourself crazy sitting here. Go to bed.”

Ollie watched a silent argument happen in their eyes, and it looked like Sarah won. The human woman took the remote, turned the TV off, and popped the tape out of the VCR.

“You want a lift?” Sarah asked Ollie.

“Oh…no,” Ollie said. “No, thank you.” Her heart beat in her chest at the mere thought of being grabbed, or even just climbing into a hand. She blinked her eyes a couple times, trying to rid herself of the headache that came from staring at a screen too long. 

“You sleep too,” Sarah ordered, but it was much more lighthearted than her order for Ian.

Ollie nodded, unsure if the human could even see her in the dark. She prepared for the long walk back home.

***

Nobody got a good night’s sleep. Sarah at least slept, even if it was restless and constantly interrupted, but Ian and Ollie tossed and turned all night.

She’d been holding it together for awhile now, but when Ollie got home, she finally broke down. Adelaide was gone, and the endless barrage of possibilities racing through Ollie’s mind only made her sob harder.

Adelaide could have been collected to be someone’s pet, or collected to be sold as someone’s pet. She could be in a cage, surviving off scraps. Beans could be experimenting on her or dissecting her. She could be suffering. She could be dead.

Dane rounded the corner and, seeing the mess his daughter was in, ushered her into his arms. He rested his chin on her head as she cried into his chest. “I know, hon. I know. Come here.”

They stayed like that until Ollie’s sobs turned into light sniffles.

“What do I do?” Ollie mumbled weakly.

“We’ll figure it out. Go to bed, get some rest, okay?” In all honesty, Dane didn’t have the faintest idea what to do, or if there even was anything to do. At least, not on their end. Maybe the Beans of the house could work their magic, but it sounded like Adelaide was far out of reach for anyone in the walls.

It hurt his heart to think about the girl. She was headstrong and loud and associated herself with Beans of all things, but she was just a girl. She was just like his Olivia. She didn’t deserve this. No borrower did. And it was only made worse seeing how it tore his daughter to pieces.

***

The sun just peeked over the horizon when Ian found himself back on his feet. He couldn’t recall getting any sleep, but that was expected. Skipping breakfast and skipping clothes, he headed straight for the TV. He had to have missed something.

Ollie also pushed herself out of bed around the same time. She was of no use where that video was concerned, but maybe there were clues left behind that were too small for the humans to see. Hoping to get a couple hours to herself to look before they woke up, she headed straight for the kitchen.

Unfortunately, it looked like Ian was already there. Not in the kitchen, but still fully awake on the couch.

Ollie did her best to ignore him, but just as with last night, his eyes were glued to the TV. She could probably yell and stomp and push things off the counter and he would be none the wiser.

The sight before her was disappointing to say the least. She didn’t know what she expected to see up here, but it was the usual stuff. No blood. No stray marks. No weapons. Just the regular old counter. To be sure, she checked behind and underneath everything she could move or lift, but still nothing out of the ordinary appeared.

The same went for the kitchen table. It was completely bare, minus the bowl of candy. And nothing besides candy was in it.

Ollie exhaled, rubbing her tired eyes. She figured she should join Ian. She didn’t want to feel completely useless.

Ian only noticed the small borrower once she was up on the table next to him. She looked like she hadn’t slept, which meant he probably looked like shit, too. He didn’t bother to say anything since there was nothing useful to say.

Ollie noticed the dark circles under Ian’s eyes and how tightly he clutched the remote control. He did not look good. But he didn’t seem to want to engage in conversation, so she settled down on the table, training her eyes on the TV too.

After nearly thirty more playbacks, Ollie piped up.

“What’s that blue thing?”

Ian jumped. He completely forgot she was there. “What…what blue thing?”

Ollie opened and closed her mouth a couple times before words came out. She couldn’t get over the intensity with which he spoke. It was intimidating, like she would be punished if she said the wrong thing. She assumed Ian had already seen this blue thing and dismissed it, but maybe not. She swallowed. “The blue thing. On the corner of the man’s bag.”

Ian squinted as if that would help clear the picture. Ollie was right. The logo on the man’s bag was small and blue and only appeared for a frame or so and was incredibly blurry, maybe 2 pixels wide. There were a thousand blue logos out there.

But that was the only lead they had. Ian stood up and made his way over to the clunky computer that sat mostly unused these days over on the dusty desk. Before he sat down, he took a rag to the keyboard to clear it of all the debris.

Ollie sat there, dumbfounded. One second, the Bean was there. The next, he was gone, and she was left in the dust. Before she could even debate whether she wanted to follow, the other Bean woke up across the room.

Sarah wasn’t really surprised to find the other half of the bed empty. What did surprise her was that Ian was not in front of the TV. She slowly walked on over to him, threw her arms over the back of his shoulders, and rested her head on his.

“How long have you been up?” she yawned.

“Not long,” Ian said distractedly.

“Something tells me you’re lying.” It didn’t skip her attention that the security tape was up on the TV and paused. AOL was pulled up on the computer and the words ‘blue logo’ were typed into the search bar. “What’s all this?”

“Do you know any companies with blue logos?” Ian asked.

“A bunch, yeah.”

“Here.” Ian stood up and ushered her over to the couch. He hit play on the remote before they even sat down. “There!” he shouted, pausing it when the logo on the bag appeared.

This made Ollie flinch, and for the first time that morning, Sarah noticed she was there. How long had she been there? Did she really miss a whole person standing on the table?

Putting away that thought for now, Sarah tried to make out what was on the screen. It was just too pixelated.

“I can tell you that’s the blue they use for the InGen logo,” Sarah said. And then her stomach dropped. “Ian…that might be the InGen logo.” 

.

Next

[abbatoirablaze]

Shameless, Season 3, Chapter 4

Word Count:  1.8k

Warnings:  major angst, smut, unprotected sex, overcompensating/substituting a drug problem.

“You really shouldn’t be this upset over it,” Mandy shrugged as the two of you sat in the back of the ice cream van while Lip drove, “it’s not like it was your fault that it happened.  I mean, I’ve seen plenty of pervs stroking it when I rode the bus.  And it’s not like Fiona could have done anything to stop the guy!”

“But Debbie shouldn’t have had to see that,” you frowned, “Fiona should have been paying more attention to what was going on around them instead of being stuck in whatever fantasy she was playing out in her head.  You already said that she’s been uncontrollable with the money.  What she’s doing is going to put the family out on their asses if she’s not careful.  And my apartment isn’t big enough to-”

“Look Fi Fi, she couldn’t have controlled what happened,” Lip added in, cutting you off, “the guy was behind them, and-“

“Fi Fi is right!” Ian jumped in, cutting his older brother off, “I don’t ever remember anything like that happening when Sofia used to take us shopping with her.”

“The point of it is that you shouldn’t blame yourself, Sofia,” Mandy pointed out, as she brought the conversation back to herself, “you try to take on too much of the responsibility in the family and you don’t even live there anymore.  And for what?”

“Oh, you mean like how we’re driving up to pick up a little sister you barely knew about?”

She gave you a guilty smile, “maybe I learned it from the girl who was practically my big sister growing up.”

“It’s a curse,” you laughed, wrapping your arm around her shoulders, “us Gallagher and Milkovich girls are cursed to give too many fucks and not enough at the same time.”

“Maybe you should tell Fiona that!” Ian scoffed. 

You noticed your younger brother giving your other younger brother a glare, but you chose to ignore it, turning your attention back to Mandy. 

“Hard facts.” She smirked.  There was a comfortable silence building between the two of you for a few minutes as Lip and Ian talked in the front, “So...Debbie told me the last time she was over, you had a friend...a guy friend showing up...should I tell my brother that he missed out on his chance with you, yet again, because his dumbass is in prison?”

“Ch-Charlie, right there!  Right there!  YES.  YES!  YES!” you moaned as his hips pressed into yours, his cock continuing to stretch you to your fullest.  Your nails dragged down his back and he roared as he came inside of you.  You felt like you were on the best high you’ve ever had as the warm feeling spread throughout your body. 

You were overstimulated in every sense of the word. 

Your mind was racing as you fixated on the smallest of details.

How his skin felt beneath your fingertips; the aged skin surprisingly soft as your nails created crescent moons into his shoulders. 

The warmth of his own body in between your thighs, his cock spasming inside of you and making you wish you could feel that same high for forever. 

The salt and pepper beard which made him seem rugged and worn, but the thick dark hair that clung to his perspiration dotted hairline that made him feel young; just through the ringer. 

And those eyes.

The way that they seemed to be searching yours; attempting to read you because he was unsure about what he wanted to say. 

You couldn’t stand the thought of him reading you, so you leaned up and pressed your lips to his.

The kiss wasn’t confident. 

You felt your own anxiety pushing to the surface as you wondered what you’d just done.

You had sex with your sponsor.

“We-we shouldn’t have done that...” he admitted slowly as he pulled away from you.

Your stomach turned.

The rejection washed over you in a tsunami wave, pulling the air from lungs that now felt like they were struggling to function. 

All you could do was stare at him.  You felt him beginning to soften inside of you, and you felt yourself deflating just as quickly.  Your lips parted and you shuddered.

“I like you Sofia...”

Your throat went dry, and as you continued to stare at him, you felt him deflating now. 

How many seconds had passed?

“I-I like you too, Charlie.”

“No...you don’t-you don’t get it.  I like you more than I should,” he frowned, brushing the back of his hand along your cheek.  Your heart ached as your eyes met his while he rested his body between your legs, “sweetheart, I’m your sponsor...I-this-you’re not even sixty days...I let go of my own emotions because I wanted it.  You-I-“

“I was going to use...” you admitted, cutting him off, “I-something serious happened with my little sister, and even though I know it’s not my fault, the guilt’s been eating at me...when you showed up at my door, I had grabbed some cash and was going to text my dealer...”

“Shit...”

He pulled out of you and rolled onto his back.  You were afraid to look at him after that admission. 

But you could see out of the corner of your eye how his hand dragged across his face, and he sighed heavily.

“You weren’t even going to call me, were you?”

You sniffled as you shook your head, “I didn’t even think about it...I’m so used to being on my own...it...I-“  

You weren’t sure when the tears started but they were rolling down your cheeks faster than you could process it as you continued on.

“I didn’t even give Anthony a second thought...and he went down for a nap a few minutes before you showed up...” you admitted, “I-I’m a fucking mess, Charlie.”

“Baby-“

“Charlie...you deserve someone so much better than me!” you proclaimed, cutting him off as you shook your head, “you deserve someone who-“

“I’m in love with you.”

The two of you were silent as you’d both turned to look at one another. 

I’m.

In.

Love.

With.

You.

The simple five words bounced around in your head, ricocheting like a bullet in your brain. 

“Wh-what?”

“I-I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the night I introduced myself to you, Sofia,” he admitted solemnly, “I-I knew it was wrong when I offered to be your sponsor...and I knew it was wrong when I kept insisting that we have our little coffee and pie dates, but I didn’t care.  I may have been clean for over five years, but I-I swear, it’s like you’re my new addiction...and I-I don’t want to give that up.”

“I-I think you should go, Charlie.”

This time he looked confused, “what?”

“I-this-it-it’s all too much, right now...you’re my sponsor.  I was about to go use, and instead I turned that energy towards you...we had sex.  I just-“

He held up a hand and gave you another sad look before nodding, “I get it...and you’re right.  We shouldn’t-I-I’m putting too much pressure on you right now.  You don’t need that.”

“I-no...”

He leaned forward once more, and it was like every morsel of your being knew how right it felt, because you leaned in, your lips barely touching his.  You melted into him.

“I don’t want to lose you, Sofia.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, Charlie,” you admitted, “but we-how is this-“

“We’ll figure it out...” he said soothingly.  You swooned as you felt his nose brushing yours, “I promise that we’ll figure it out...we just-we should take it slow...and definitely not have sex again until we’re both on equal ground.  We can’t substitute our addictions for one another...”

“Ca-can you still come around?”

He nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “I’ll always be here for you, baby.”

“MAYBE,” your sister growled as she stepped up to you, “YOU just need to worry about your own god damn family, Sofia!”

“The kids are my family, Fiona!”

“Bullshit!” she spat, “all you have ever done is abandon and walk out on us.  Hell, you’re no better than Monica.”

You felt like she drove a spike straight through your chest, “take that back!”

“Oh, I’m Sofia,” Fiona fake whined, mocking you, “my mommy and daddy fucked me up.  I’m bipolar like the crazy bitch, and as avoidant as the drunk fuck!  I leave everything to my twin sister to mop up because I can’t handle life.”

“That’s not true, Fiona, and you know it!”

“Go back to your pills and your apartment on the other side of town, Sofia.  I don’t fucking need you.”

“Wh-what?”

You froze. 

She shook her head and began to laugh at you, “what?  You didn’t think I knew?  Didn’t think Tony would have let it slip all the times that he was looking for you because he was worried about baby Tony?  You fucking disappeared with your son and got hooked on pills like mommy fucking dearest.  I’ll give you that though, at least you were courteous enough to take your kid with you.  Monica just left us with Frank.  I thought you would have done that when you lost your last kid.  Though, baby Anthony probably would have been better off with Tony, with you fucking your way through dealers and doing god knows what.  I bet-“

She stopped speaking when you slapped her.

The crack from your hand connecting with her face resounded throughout the entire house. 

Lip, Mandy, and Debbie looked at you in shock.

“I have done everything-everything that  I could, Fiona,” you seethed, “now I may not be as perfect as Frank’s god damn golden child, but I did the best with what I was given.  I fucking left because Frank caused my miscarriage.  He pushed me and I lost my child.  Tony couldn’t even fucking look at me when he realized I’d lost it.  I lost everything, Fiona.  My marriage.  My family.  No one was in my fucking corner.  So yeah, I turned to pills.  But I clawed my way back from that.  I’ve been clean for months.  And I always, ALWAYS, made sure to make time for any of you that asked for my help, despite how I couldn’t help myself sometimes.  So, you can just go straight to hell, Fiona.”

“Guys-“

“Shut up, Lip!” Fiona growled, turning her anger towards him.

“Don’t tell him to shut up!”

“Get the fuck out of my house, Sofia.” She spat, “or so help me God I’ll call Tony up right now and I’ll make sure I do everything in my power to make sure that you get locked up for taking Mandy’s little brother and breaking and entering.  You’ll  lose your kid and I’ll make sure that you never see baby Anthony again.”

“Sofia...” Debbie cried, pulling at your arm.  You looked down at her and she was shaking her head, “don’t let Fi do that...”

“I’m not Debs, I-“

“You have to go!” she sobbed, pulling you to herself, “please, just go!”

You looked up at your twin sister who was standing smugly in front of you, arms over her chest, “the kids don’t need you, Fi Fi.  Just go!”

Chapter 5

[wankerwatch]

Commons Vote

On: Opposition Day: Farming and food security

Ayes: 187 (55.9% Con, 34.9% LD, 2.7% DUP, 2.7% Ind, 2.2% PC, 0.5% RUK, 0.5% UUP, 0.5% TUV) Noes: 359 (98.6% Lab, 1.4% Ind) Absent: ~104

Day's business papers: 2024-10-08

Individual Votes:

Ayes

Conservative (104 votes)

Alan Mak Alberto Costa Alec Shelbrooke Alex Burghart Alicia Kearns Alison Griffiths Andrew Bowie Andrew Griffith Andrew Mitchell Andrew Murrison Andrew Snowden Aphra Brandreth Ashley Fox Ben Obese-Jecty Ben Spencer Bernard Jenkin Blake Stephenson Bob Blackman Bradley Thomas Caroline Johnson Charlie Dewhirst Chris Philp Christopher Chope Claire Coutinho Damian Hinds Danny Kruger David Davis David Reed David Simmonds Desmond Swayne Edward Argar Edward Leigh Gagan Mohindra Gareth Bacon Gavin Williamson Geoffrey Clifton-Brown Geoffrey Cox George Freeman Graham Stuart Greg Smith Gregory Stafford Harriet Cross Harriett Baldwin Helen Grant Helen Whately Iain Duncan Smith Jack Rankin James Cartlidge James Cleverly James Wild Jeremy Hunt Jeremy Wright Jerome Mayhew Jesse Norman Joe Robertson John Cooper John Glen John Hayes John Lamont John Whittingdale Joy Morrissey Julia Lopez Julian Lewis Katie Lam Kemi Badenoch Kevin Hollinrake Kit Malthouse Laura Trott Lewis Cocking Lincoln Jopp Luke Evans Mark Garnier Martin Vickers Matt Vickers Mel Stride Mims Davies Neil Hudson Neil O'Brien Neil Shastri-Hurst Nick Timothy Nigel Huddleston Oliver Dowden Patrick Spencer Paul Holmes Peter Bedford Peter Fortune Rebecca Harris Rebecca Paul Rebecca Smith Richard Fuller Richard Holden Robbie Moore Robert Jenrick Roger Gale Saqib Bhatti Sarah Bool Shivani Raja Simon Hoare Steve Barclay Stuart Anderson Stuart Andrew Suella Braverman Victoria Atkins Wendy Morton

Liberal Democrat (65 votes)

Adam Dance Al Pinkerton Alison Bennett Andrew George Angus MacDonald Anna Sabine Ben Maguire Bobby Dean Brian Mathew Calum Miller Cameron Thomas Caroline Voaden Charlie Maynard Charlotte Cane Chris Coghlan Christine Jardine Claire Young Clive Jones Daisy Cooper Danny Chambers David Chadwick Ed Davey Edward Morello Freddie van Mierlo Gideon Amos Helen Maguire Helen Morgan Ian Roome Ian Sollom James MacCleary John Milne Josh Babarinde Joshua Reynolds Layla Moran Lee Dillon Lisa Smart Liz Jarvis Luke Taylor Manuela Perteghella Marie Goldman Martin Wrigley Max Wilkinson Mike Martin Monica Harding Munira Wilson Olly Glover Paul Kohler Pippa Heylings Rachel Gilmour Richard Foord Sarah Gibson Sarah Green Sarah Olney Steve Darling Susan Murray Tessa Munt Tim Farron Tom Gordon Tom Morrison Victoria Collins Vikki Slade Wendy Chamberlain Wera Hobhouse Will Forster Zöe Franklin

Democratic Unionist Party (5 votes)

Carla Lockhart Gavin Robinson Gregory Campbell Jim Shannon Sammy Wilson

Independent (5 votes)

Adnan Hussain Alex Easton Ayoub Khan Iqbal Mohamed Shockat Adam

Plaid Cymru (4 votes)

Ann Davies Ben Lake Liz Saville Roberts Llinos Medi

Reform UK (1 vote)

Richard Tice

Ulster Unionist Party (1 vote)

Robin Swann

Traditional Unionist Voice (1 vote)

Jim Allister

Noes

Labour (351 votes)

Abena Oppong-Asare Abtisam Mohamed Adam Jogee Adam Thompson Afzal Khan Al Carns Alan Campbell Alan Gemmell Alan Strickland Alex Baker Alex Ballinger Alex Barros-Curtis Alex Davies-Jones Alex Mayer Alex McIntyre Alex Norris Alice Macdonald Alison Hume Alison Taylor Alistair Strathern Allison Gardner Amanda Hack Amanda Martin Andrew Cooper Andrew Gwynne Andrew Lewin Andrew Pakes Andrew Ranger Andy MacNae Andy McDonald Andy Slaughter Angela Eagle Angela Rayner Anna Dixon Anna Gelderd Anna McMorrin Anna Turley Anneliese Midgley Antonia Bance Ashley Dalton Baggy Shanker Bambos Charalambous Barry Gardiner Bayo Alaba Beccy Cooper Becky Gittins Ben Coleman Ben Goldsborough Bill Esterson Blair McDougall Brian Leishman Callum Anderson Calvin Bailey Cat Eccles Cat Smith Catherine Atkinson Catherine Fookes Catherine McKinnell Catherine West Charlotte Nichols Chris Bloore Chris Bryant Chris Curtis Chris Elmore Chris Hinchliff Chris Kane Chris McDonald Chris Murray Chris Vince Chris Ward Chris Webb Christian Wakeford Claire Hazelgrove Claire Hughes Clive Efford Clive Lewis Connor Naismith Connor Rand Damien Egan Dan Carden Dan Jarvis Dan Norris Daniel Francis Daniel Zeichner Danny Beales Darren Jones Darren Paffey Dave Robertson David Baines David Burton-Sampson David Pinto-Duschinsky David Smith David Taylor David Williams Debbie Abrahams Deirdre Costigan Derek Twigg Diana Johnson Douglas Alexander Douglas McAllister Elaine Stewart Ellie Reeves Elsie Blundell Emily Darlington Emily Thornberry Emma Foody Emma Hardy Emma Lewell-Buck Euan Stainbank Fabian Hamilton Feryal Clark Fleur Anderson Florence Eshalomi Frank McNally Fred Thomas Gareth Snell Gareth Thomas Georgia Gould Gerald Jones Gill Furniss Gill German Gordon McKee Graham Stringer Grahame Morris Gregor Poynton Gurinder Singh Josan Hamish Falconer Harpreet Uppal Heidi Alexander Helen Hayes Helena Dollimore Henry Tufnell Hilary Benn Ian Lavery Imogen Walker Irene Campbell Jack Abbott Jacob Collier Jade Botterill Jake Richards James Frith James Murray James Naish Janet Daby Jas Athwal Jayne Kirkham Jeevun Sandher Jeff Smith Jen Craft Jenny Riddell-Carpenter Jess Asato Jess Phillips Jessica Morden Jessica Toale Jim Dickson Jim McMahon Jo Platt Jo Stevens Jo White Joani Reid Jodie Gosling Joe Morris Joe Powell Johanna Baxter John Grady John Slinger John Whitby Jon Pearce Jonathan Brash Jonathan Davies Jonathan Hinder Josh Dean Josh Fenton-Glynn Josh MacAlister Josh Newbury Josh Simons Julia Buckley Julie Minns Juliet Campbell Kanishka Narayan Karin Smyth Karl Turner Kate Dearden Kate Osamor Kate Osborne Katie White Katrina Murray Kenneth Stevenson Kevin Bonavia Kevin McKenna Kim Johnson Kim Leadbeater Kirith Entwistle Kirsteen Sullivan Kirsty McNeill Laura Kyrke-Smith Lauren Edwards Laurence Turner Lee Barron Lee Pitcher Leigh Ingham Lewis Atkinson Liam Conlon Lilian Greenwood Lillian Jones Linsey Farnsworth Liz Twist Lizzi Collinge Lloyd Hatton Lola McEvoy Lorraine Beavers Louise Jones Lucy Powell Lucy Rigby Luke Akehurst Luke Charters Luke Murphy Luke Myer Luke Pollard Margaret Mullane Marie Rimmer Marie Tidball Mark Ferguson Mark Hendrick Mark Sewards Mark Tami Markus Campbell-Savours Marsha De Cordova Martin McCluskey Martin Rhodes Mary Creagh Mary Glindon Mary Kelly Foy Matt Bishop Matt Rodda Matt Turmaine Matt Western Matthew Patrick Matthew Pennycook Maureen Burke Maya Ellis Meg Hillier Melanie Onn Melanie Ward Michael Payne Michael Shanks Michael Wheeler Michelle Welsh Mike Amesbury Mike Kane Mike Reader Mike Tapp Mohammad Yasin Nadia Whittome Natalie Fleet Natasha Irons Naushabah Khan Navendu Mishra Naz Shah Neil Coyle Neil Duncan-Jordan Nesil Caliskan Nia Griffith Nicholas Dakin Nick Smith Nick Thomas-Symonds Noah Law Oliver Ryan Olivia Bailey Olivia Blake Pam Cox Pamela Nash Pat McFadden Patricia Ferguson Patrick Hurley Paul Davies Paul Foster Paul Waugh Paula Barker Paulette Hamilton Perran Moon Peter Dowd Peter Lamb Peter Prinsley Peter Swallow Phil Brickell Preet Kaur Gill Rachael Maskell Rachel Blake Rachel Hopkins Rachel Taylor Richard Baker Richard Quigley

Rosie Wrighting Rupa Huq Ruth Cadbury Ruth Jones Sadik Al-Hassan Sally Jameson Sam Carling Sam Rushworth Samantha Niblett Sarah Coombes Sarah Edwards Sarah Hall Sarah Owen Sarah Russell Sarah Sackman Sarah Smith Satvir Kaur Scott Arthur Sean Woodcock Seema Malhotra Sharon Hodgson Shaun Davies Simon Opher Siobhain McDonagh Sojan Joseph Sonia Kumar Stella Creasy Stephanie Peacock Stephen Doughty Stephen Kinnock Stephen Morgan Stephen Timms Steve Race Steve Reed Steve Witherden Steve Yemm Sureena Brackenridge Tahir Ali Taiwo Owatemi Tanmanjeet Singh Dhesi Terry Jermy Tim Roca Toby Perkins Tom Hayes Tom Rutland Tonia Antoniazzi Tony Vaughan Torsten Bell Tracy Gilbert Tristan Osborne Tulip Siddiq Uma Kumaran Valerie Vaz Vicky Foxcroft Warinder Juss Will Stone Yuan Yang Zubir Ahmed

Independent (5 votes)

Apsana Begum Imran Hussain John McDonnell Richard Burgon Zarah Sultana

[otheroutlandertales]

Anonymous said: Can I please have some modern day au Mrs Fitz?

                                    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Onions

by @whiskynottea

Glenna FitzGibbons left the house and locked the door behind her. 

One, two, three, four times. 

These doors, her nephew Murtagh had insisted, were useless unless you made sure all screws were in place. So Glenna made sure. 

It wasn’t easy living alone these days. Last week burglars had broken into a house at the block up the street. The police were still investigating the case. 

She briefly wondered whether it would be different if her man was alive, or if he would just provide a fragile feeling of security with minimum impact on reality, were the thieves at their doorstep. 

She shook her head as if to shake the thoughts away. She looked upwards, and her pursed lips changed into a smile. In greeting. Silent words formed in her head, the same she always said when she left the house.

I’m going to work, mo chridhe. 

The walk to her small restaurant took less than ten minutes. Plump she might be, and the doctor might insist she lose weight, but her quick feet hadn’t failed her yet. It took her ten minutes to get there, and not one more. Rain or shine. 

When John had passed away, everyone thought Glenna would close the restaurant. She was old, and running it without him wouldn’t be easy. Murtagh had suggested they sell it. Jamie tried to convince Jenny to take over the business, but the lass had declared that with that family of hers, she’d cooked enough for two lifetimes. Glenna let them talk, and fight, and brainstorm for ideas. 

At last, she announced that she was keeping Leoch’s Kitchen no matter what. She was certain John would agree.

The wooden sign next to the door moved slightly in the autumn wind, and Glenna’s smile grew. For years, she had been the first to arrive to open the restaurant, to begin the preparations before her lassies and lads arrived. 

Others called them employees, but for Glenna, they were family. 

Ian arrived first. Glenna heard him singing one of those deplorable songs he seemed to like, and waited for him to enter the kitchen before she talked, sure that the loudest scream wouldn’t go through his earbuds. He came to a stop at the counter across from her, and as Glenna looked into his warm hazel eyes she would swear he was four years old again and begging for a slice of freshly-baked bread with butter. But she had to look up to see these eyes now. Jenny’s wee one had become a man; tall with a body shaped from the same mold as his father’s. He said a singsong hello as he tied his hair on a knot at the back of his head, walked around the counter, and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek.

“Onions? D’ye do it on purpose, auntie? Every time I come, ye’re chopping these damned onions!” he said, blinking as his eyes started to tear up.

“Well, I dinna remember ye cursing at them when ye have them in yer burger!” Glenna laughed, sniffling herself.

Ian scrunched up his nose, picked a cherry tomato from the bowl next to him, and took a few steps away in an attempt to remove himself from the onion vapor.

“Uncle Jamie said that the wine delivery will arrive in about an hour. I’ll stay to help.”

Glenna hummed. “Wasn’t he supposed to be here?” she asked, wondering when, exactly, the plans had changed. 

“Aye, but he said auntie Claire started to suspect we’re preparing something for her birthday and he couldna find a good excuse to leave the house.” Ian was now in front of the fridge, staring at the shelves, no doubt wondering what else was available to eat.

Glenna smiled at herself, and moved about deliberately. Three minutes later, she was toasting a sandwich for the ever-hungry-lad.

“Do ye think Auntie Claire will figure the surprise out?” he asked with the sandwich in hand and his mouth full, spreading bread crumbs around.

Of course Claire would find out, sooner or later. If she hadn’t done that already. But Glenna didn’t have the heart to tell Ian. “Nah,” she reassured him. “We have everything under control.”

Ian continued devouring his sandwich, and Glenna picked up her favourite knife again. Who would imagine, Claire’s 55th birthday. The wee curly-heided medical student who had forgotten her keys at Glenna’s restaurant that October night she celebrated her 20th birthday. 

Thirty-five years. It felt like yesterday, and yet it didn’t.

Glenna could feel each passing year in the ache of her bones. It was there, in the empty side of her bed. In the wrinkles of her face. Two deep ones between the brows, a testimony of her concentration when she was cooking, her love for perfection. And the others, so many others, lines covering her white skin and showing to the world that she had cried, and smiled, and lived. 

Thirty-five years had gone by. Glenna had seen her daughter getting married and held her bonnie granddaughter in her arms, tufts of blonde hair shining under the sun. And then she had fixed that golden hair and comforted her granddaughter before her own wedding, when Laoghaire had a breakdown thinking her hairstyle had been a disaster. She had witnessed her grumpy Murtagh fall in love and make his own family. She had seen her nephews and nieces make their dreams come true, finding their own paths to happiness.

In all those years, Glenna had made wedding and birthday cakes, had prepared brunches and dinners for her family, and had laughed until all breath gone out of her lungs in those gatherings. She had made cookies with the wee ones -- each and every one of them. The FitzGibbons, the Frasers and the MacKenzies, all covered up with flour and face-splitting grins. 

She had held her John’s hand when he was strong and led her up the munros, and when he was weak and let her lead him to their bed. She had felt his breaths giving her life with every kiss, and she had felt them taking life away after each session of chemotherapy, when each inhalation was more laboured than the previous one. 

Thirty-five years of life. Almost double what Ian had lived so far.  

Glenna’s eyes glinted, from the onions or the memories she wasn’t sure, and she looked upwards again, sending her thoughts towards him. Reminding him that she would always keep him by her side. 

“See? I told ye these onions are evil!” Ian exclaimed, walking towards the sink to wash his dish.

“Aye, wee evil onions”, Glenna murmured. 

Like memories. You never know if they’ll turn out to be sweet or sharp. But it’s their taste, we’re craving for.

[picturethefrasers]

Tag drop: characters (to be updated)

[incorrect-outlander-quotes]

William: You have no idea what I’m capable of.

Young Ian: No offence, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.

[imikhailotakeyouian]

To the moon and back

"What do you wanna do next time, stargazing AND howling to the moon?"

Mickey has said it as a joke, moking his very old self who disown his own words and ended up, indeed, not only on a blanket stargazing with Ian, but even using a flower called Stargazing Lily for their wedding.

Ian turned him in a fucking sap, that's how Mickey justifies himself.

But Ian is used to Mickey all barks and no bites attitude -he fell for it, between all things.

And he loves to provoke Mickey, pushing him until he can stand it, knowing very well his husband's limits at that point, after countless fights and, more importantly, after years of love.

So when Ian brings Mickey up a hill on a full moon night and spreads a blanket on the ground, he sees his husband cocking a sarcastic glare at him before they would both burst out in a loud laugh.

"Alright, Red. It's not our anniversary and we are already married, is it another special occasion today?"

Ian shakes his head and sits on the blanket. "Nope, but you did mention stargazing AND howling at the moon, so why not take advantage of this full moon night?"

"Jesus Christ," Mickey chuckles while sitting next to Ian. "Do I really have to overthink every single word I say?"

"It's the absolute opposite!" Ian cheers him next to him with a kiss on his cheek. "I crave all these little, special moments with you."

Mickey rolls his eyes, but Ian knows it's just an act. "Stargazing and howling at the moon?"

"Why not? Lay down with me."

Mickey does as requested, accepting Ian’s right arm as a pillow. And while Mickey is pretending to be annoyed, Ian can see he is smiling softly.

"I love you, you know?"

Mickey snickers and turns to look at him. "Course I do. Love you too, E."

Ian leans over to kiss him on the cheek before staring back at the night sky. "This feels so normal."

Mickey's eyebrow raises skeptical. "This feels normal to you?"

"It's a very normalish couple thingy to do, actually."

"According to whom?"

"Everyone?" Ian shrugs a little. "A romantic night, stargazing, spread on a blanket. If we get lucky we can even jerk each other off."

"We don't do normal, Gallagher, we already established that," Mickey's voice is proud: they are not like every normal couples, and that's how two difficult personalities like theirs can work so well together.

"So, we gotta do something abnormal now?" Ian asks, his tone challenging.

"Abnormal how-"

Mickey can't even finish his sentence when Ian starts howling at the moon.

"Jesus Ch-"

Ian howls even louder before turning and challenging him with a smartass look on his face.

Mickey opens his mouth but doesn't find it in himself to keep protesting. He sighs dramatically and then he just does it. He starts howling at the moon like a man possessed.

Ian smiles satisfied before joining Mickey, so now they are just two adults, madly in love with each other, howling at the moon like two werewolves.

They finished their silly show between laughter, both of them turning on their sides to kiss and cuddle each other's cheeks.

"Why was it so important to you?"

"I just wanna," Ian shrugs and pecks Mickey on the lips. "I just wanna do everything with you. I wanna do silly things we couldn't do when we were younger. We skipped all the funny, stupid things young couples do. I just wanna, you know, create many happy memories with you."

Mickey smiles softly and rubs their nose tips together. "It's always been your love language, you know, the quality time thingy."

Ian nods. And well, between the two of them he is sure they belong to all the languages love can offer. "So, was it that silly?"

"Well, we are still two grown ass adults who just howled at the moon," Mickey says and they both laugh. "But every second spent with you is never wasted. Silly or not."

Ian grins satisfied: grumpy and cranky husband successfully melted.

"Let's take a photo," He says then, and after grabbing his phone with the right hand, lifts the left one in a half heart shape. "Cmon, grumpy."

Mickey sighs but ends up obliging. He always does, eventually. He lifts his right hand and completes the heart. "Let me guess, we are gonna print this one."

"Yes!" Ian says enthusiastically while snapping a photo. "We gonna name it, uhm-"

"The night we howled at the moon like two idiots?" Mickey interrupts him before turning on his side and throwing his arm over Ian's belly in a soft hug.

"What about," Ian says instead completing that hug holding Mickey's arm. "I love you to the moon and back?"

Mickey rolls his eyes, but he is actually smiling. "Sap."

"Take one to know one."

Mickey hides a chuckle and they stay quiet for a while before snickering, "About that handjob...?"

Ian laughs out loud before shoving him and pinning him down below his weight. "Fuck, I love you."

Mickey winks, "To the moon and back, baby."

[fiadhaisteach]

Things I’ve Read This Week* - 2021.12.11

New Stories

Tumblr Related, The Weakness In Her Armor by Jacklyn_Flynn (@jacklyn-flynn) - Zevran/F!Aeducan - 978 words - complete

Chasing Ghosts, ⚜️Chasing Ghosts, ⚜️Late Nights, ⚜️Heirloom by WickedWitchoftheWilds (@wickedwitchofthewilds) - Solas/OFC - 75,955 words - 1st two works complete, last work & series WIP

Rereads

The Gold to My Silver, La Petite Mort plus 18 more by greyvvardenfell (@greyvvardenfell) - Zevran/NB!Brosca - 38,746 words, each work complete, series WIP

Tumblr (re)Reads

😈 Bloodied & Broken Bits, A continuation of Chapter 21 of Rogasha'ghi'lan, in the bath from a lot of prompts by @dreadfutures - Solas/F!Lavellan (on AO3)

Bloodied & Broken Bits, Solas POV of young!Ixchel’s Trespasser confrontation by @dreadfutures - Solas/F!Lavellan

Subscription Updates

Soladaar Drabbles by Shaykai (@shaykai) - Solas/M!Adaar (Ch. 5)

A Collection of Lost Embers, A Guide to Tending Embers by reonerra (@reonerra) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 8)

Wicked Things, What a Wicked Game to Play by Cracking Lamb (@crackinglamb) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 67-68)

I Have Found a Home (Ian x Solas), Solas & Ian Drabbles by theharellan (@theharellan) - Solas/NB!Lavellan (Ch. 2)

✔️ Love, Delivered by beaubashley (@beaubartley) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 12), complete

Unwritten by UnrealRomance - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 233-239)

The Guardian by HumblePeasant (@mogwaei) - Solas/OFC, Dorian/M!Lavellan (Ch. 151)

Solas/Ayala, Broken, Heart by Fairfaxleasee (@fairfaxleasee) - Solas/F!Trevelyan - (Ch. 1) complete, series sub

Bloodied & Broken World State, Bloodied and Broken, Rogasha'ghi'lan (The Brave Guide) by youworeblue (@dreadfutures) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 23)

beware the forest at night, when there are miles left to go, the forest is dark and deep and i've seen you here before by victoriousscarf (@victoriousscarf) - Solas/M!Lavellan (Ch. 177-178)

pressure point by 17734 - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 26)

The DA Alternate Universe Chronicles, Vir'vhen'an by RogueLioness (@roguelioness) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 7)

She's Lived a Good Life by Kinako - MCiT (Ch. 30)

Kintsugi, Fragile World by angelslaugh (@skyerie) - {F!Lavellan/TBD, Solas/F!Lavellan, Felassan/F!Lavellan} (Ch. 23-26)

lover, your back is bruised from what you carry, In the face of your light by noverture (@noverturemusings) - Solas/M!Lavellan, past Dirthamen/M!Lavellan (Ch. 105)

Love's Worth Running To, Love Run by JessTalksAlot (@jessitasquirrel) - Solas/F!Lavellan, background Iron Bull/M!Lavellan (Ch. 21)

» side note - multiple chapters may mean multiple updates; or might just be me refreshing my memory, reorienting myself in the story, or rereading some for fun.

*TIRTW & can recommend (previous weeks & TIRTW Key/Legend)

[pocket-lad]

CH 2- (Mis)understanding

Prev ● Masterpost

Adelaide trekked through the walls. She knew they would be clean, but jeez were they clean . They probably rivaled her setup back at home.

Signs of borrower activity were everywhere. Hooks in places that required climbing, steps built into the floor, patched up holes. She even passed a pipe that looked like it was tapped into.

The further she went along, the worse she felt about yelling at Ian. He was curious, as anyone would be upon finding a borrower, but he was gentle and quiet and once he knew Ollie meant no harm, he backed off. Maybe she had been a bit harsh.  It was just so frustrating to have such a unique opportunity completely obliterated by something out of her control.

Adelaide was stuck between two worlds. She loved Ian. He was her best friend in the whole world and she wouldn’t trade him for anything. But there was another part of her that felt empty for such a long time, and she craved something to fill that hole.

The problem was, to fill it, she had to abandon her friend. No borrower in their right mind would trust another borrower whose best friend was a Bean. It was a betrayal to her whole species. Ugh.

It wasn’t long until Adelaide heard voices. They were faint, even to her own ears, but they were there. Curiosity told her she should approach, but reason said she should turn in the complete opposite direction.

In the end, her nosy sensibilities won out. Adelaide so desperately wanted a connection with another borrower, so maybe she could gain some information on how to make that happen. It wasn’t eavesdropping, it was…She couldn’t think of a justification for this one. It was just eavesdropping.

The first voice was older and quite deep. “Fine. When Ollie gets back, we’ll take you out,” he said.

“Yes!” hissed a much younger voice.

“Don’t get too excited. We’re only going a couple feet. You’re not ready to borrow just yet, especially since there’s more than one human staying here right now.”

“But I’m basically the best climber ever, even better than Ollie!”

The older voice laughed, and that’s when Adelaide realized the voices were getting closer. Before she could even think to bolt, two people rounded the corner.

Their bodies matched their voices. An older man, maybe a little older than Ian, with skin only slightly lighter than Ollie’s. His hair was cropped close to his head and he had faint stubble.  The younger person was an exact clone of Ollie, only if Ollie was thirteen years younger and a boy. His hair was also shaved close to his head.

The three of them stared at each other for a very long time, all in shock.

“Who are you?” the older one asked.

“I’m…I’m Adelaide. Who are you?”

“Dane. What are you doing here?”

“I just got here.” So, Ollie hadn’t made it home yet to tell her family about their misadventure. Obviously, Adelaide didn’t want a repeat of what just happened, but she wasn’t sure how to get out of this one.

Dane’s suspicious demeanor evaporated almost instantly. “Oh, welcome! This here’s Oliver.” He rested his hands on the boy's shoulders, and Oliver smiled up at her.

Huh, Adelaide thought. Ollie and Oliver.

Dane continued. “Why don’t you come inside? We can help you get set up with a place.”

“Oh, I’m okay, thank you-” Adelaide started.

“C’mon. You young borrowers think you can tackle the world all on your own. My Olivia’s the same. Take it from an old man, you-”

“No, really-”

“Dad, we were gonna go borrowing!” Oliver complained.

Adelaide jumped on the opportunity. “In that case, I really don’t want to interrupt-”

“We can go borrowing later. There’s always time for borrowing.”

“Thank you, sir, but-”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” a familiar female voice shouted. Uh oh. Ollie was back.

Adelaide turned around to see steam coming out of the woman’s ears. Her bag looked significantly heavier than before, which meant she went out borrowing. She had some real balls then, borrowing not five minutes after getting caught by a Bean.

“Language!” Dane scolded. “And keep your voice down!”

“Oh, don’t need to worry about that,” Ollie laughed wryly. “Bean already knows about us.”

Dane looked dumbfounded. Maybe even a little scared. “How-”

Ollie pointed her thumb at Adelaide. “All thanks to this one.” Dane looked between them, waiting for an explanation, but Ollie zeroed in on Adelaide. “Get away from my family,” she spat.

“I was trying to leave, I swear,” Adelaide explained hurriedly. She didn’t like her odds, stuck in unfamiliar walls three-to-one. 

“Then what were you doing in the walls?” Ollie pressed.

“I live in the walls! Not these walls, but in another house, I live in the walls! I just had a big fight with Ian, over you, actually, and I wanted to be alone. And in case you didn’t notice, it’s hard to find a place to be alone in a Bean’s house unless you’re in the walls.”

“So does the Bean know about us?” Dane asked seriously.

“Yes,” Ollie said.

“Kind of,” Adelaide clarified.

“How?” Dane asked.

“Well…he’s my friend,” Adelaide winced, waiting for a reaction. Oliver looked frightened, but Dane remained stoic. Ollie was still fuming. Since nobody said anything, she continued, speaking only to Dane. “He was asleep, I ran into Ollie borrowing, and then he woke up. He thought she was going to hurt me, so he grabbed both of us and set us on the table. Ollie was free to go from the start, he’s just nosy…”

At the mention of being grabbed, Dane paled. Adelaide probably should have avoided that part, but Ollie would have brought it up eventually. She didn’t want to seem like a liar any more than she already did. “So, he knows Ollie exists. He knows where an entrance to the walls is. That’s it.”

Dane thought about this, then said, “Adelaide, I think you should leave.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Adelaide dejectedly turned to go. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave the walls just yet, but she’d at least go back to the entrance for now. Then she thought of something important. “Please don’t move. I know what it’s like, but he really doesn’t mean any harm. He won’t tell anyone, he won’t seek you out, and we’re probably leaving in the next week or so anyway.”

Adelaide knew how terrifying it was to have a Bean know of your existence, and even worse, know where you lived. They were capable of anything. They could tear down the walls, they could set up traps, they could poison the air. The ever-present uncertainty was agonizing.

The alternative was moving, and when you lived in a disconnected house, that meant going outside, which was incredibly dangerous. That’s why borrowers avoided it at all costs. Luckily, this was an apartment, but if these people had to choose between Ian or uprooting their entire life, the obvious choice was Ian. She felt like she at least owed them that information.

“And for the record, he’s saved my life a number of times, and I’d trust him to do it again. We’ve had each other's backs through situations you can’t even begin to imagine. Not all Beans are evil.”

Adelaide said her piece. They could either take it or leave it. She hated leaving, hated giving up on this opportunity, but she’d done more damage than she could take back. She just hoped they’d listen to her and choose to stay.

The walk back to the entrance was uneventful. Adelaide stopped by the pipes she noticed earlier to wash her face and her old clothes, which she would hopefully change into when they dried. She still hadn’t had a proper shower since they got back, and she only had the two sets of clothes. When she reached the crack in the wall though, she couldn’t force herself to leave.

Adelaide wasn’t torn between two worlds. She couldn’t be, because she didn’t belong to either of them. She was much too small for the human world, but had too many connections to the human world to truly exist in the borrower world. It wouldn’t be fair to claim the safety of the walls as her own, but she never truly felt safe outside of them either.

She belonged in the threshold, not quite in, not quite out. So that’s where she sat for hours on end. The Threshold. Numb to the world, she curled up on the hard wooden floor and eventually fell asleep.

***

When Adelaide woke up, it was nighttime. She noticed that a piece of fabric had been draped over her while she slept, which she snuggled into cozily. It was cold.

The fabric couldn’t have come from Ian. She was too far in the walls for his hand to fit through, which meant it came from one of the three she met today. Even when they were mad at her, even when they wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, they took care of her out of the kindness of their hearts. If that wasn’t a borrower sentiment, she didn’t know what was.

As she stretched, Adelaide wondered who gave her the fabric. Honestly, she had no clue. She thought about going back and thanking them, but she didn’t want to intrude any further. So, she left the fabric folded up next to the wall for them to grab next time they came by. She hoped that by folding it, she was showing her appreciation. It was too bad she’d never be able to talk to them again and find out.

Wanting nothing less than to accidentally run into any of them, and with nothing else to do, Adelaide decided it was time for her to apologize to Ian.

She hated apologies. It made her feel vulnerable and guilty and she was always scared it would lead to a ‘serious talk.’ More than she hated apologizing, Adelaide hated serious talks.

She dragged her feet as she left the walls, taking as much time as she possibly could to make it over to the couch. There was somebody sitting there, but they were backlit by the TV, so she couldn’t tell exactly who it was. She half-hoped it was Sarah or Kelly so she didn’t have to deal with this tonight.

As always, Adelaide stuck as close to the walls as she could, which usually sucked because it took her double the amount of time to get anywhere. Now, it was to her benefit. Mostly. Just as it gave her the time to stall, it also gave the dread time to blossom.

As she came around the edge of the couch, Adelaide saw that it was indeed Ian. He was awake, watching TV. Sarah was nowhere to be found, and Kelly laid on the couch fast asleep with her legs propped up on his lap.

Well, here goes nothing.

Adelaide threw her hook up to latch onto the side table, knowing full well that it would alert Ian to her presence. She began her ascent but immediately wished she hadn’t. Climbing up with a dislocated pinky and a generally achy hand was much harder than sliding down. It was a long and arduous process, and it took ages just to get halfway. Adelaide’s arms and legs shook so badly she thought she was going to lose her grip.

At that moment, Ian leaned over the edge of the couch to track her process. He too noticed it was taking abnormally long. “You uh…want help?” He knew she needed help, but whether she wanted it was a completely different story.

Adelaide was primed and ready to fight back, but she honestly didn’t know if she could make it. “Yes, please,” she admitted, already angry with herself for giving in.

Ian let the thread slide through his fingers as he scooped her up and set her down gently on the plastic side table. He unhooked her hook, handed it back to her, and returned his attention to the TV.

“Ian,” Adelaide said.

“What’s happenin’?” He turned his head to give her his full attention.

Stuck as he was under Kelly’s legs, Ian was going to be well above Adelaide’s eye level for the majority of their conversation, which did not help her nerves in the slightest. She craned her neck back and blurted, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Ian asked.

Adelaide floundered. He certainly wasn’t going to make this easy. “Um, I’m sorry…for yelling at you. For telling you to back-”

“Woah, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I uh, I know. Apology accepted.” Ian laughed lightly, trying to keep his voice down.

But Adelaide was on a roll. She didn’t come all the way up here for nothing. “I just…I was so hellbent on finding a friend my own size that I ignored the friend I had right in front of me. I shouldn’t have blown you off like that.”

“Did you come up with that one yourself?” Ian asked, eyebrow raised. It sounded like she pulled the apology right out of a sitcom.

“Wuh - yeah?”

Ian then thought about what she actually said, and he considered the situation that played out. To him, this new borrower was fascinating. He’d never met any of them outside of Adelaide, and he had so many questions. He needed to know more. Only now did he realize his fascination should have been secondary to Adelaide’s. She needed it way more than he did. 

“Hey, I get it. But it's entirely possible I should’ve let you, um, handle it. Something about curiosity and a cat…,” he trailed off. “I fear I may have left a bad impression on your - on your friend there. How’s she doing?”

Adelaide rubbed her sore neck, already tired from looking up. She chuckled. “She’s completely pissed at me. Maybe probably at you too, but definitely at me. I don’t think she’s ever gonna talk to me again.” She neglected to mention Ollie’s family. It wouldn’t be fair.

“I’m sorry, Della,” Ian whispered. He nudged her slightly with a knuckle, causing her to sway in place.

What could she say? ‘ It’s okay,’ didn’t feel entirely correct, because it wasn’t okay and she wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t totally his fault. “Yeah, what can you do?” was the best she could come up with.

“I’m going to bed. You coming?” Ian held his hand out for her.

Adelaide eyed the hand, considering his offer, but unfortunately she had just woken up from a very long nap. “Nah, not tired.”

“Suit yourself,” he yawned, extricating Kelly's legs from his lap and trudging over to the bed.

Adelaide sat there for a while, trying to watch whatever was on the TV. She couldn’t help eyeing Kelly every now and again, making sure the girl was still asleep. It didn’t take long for her to get bored, though, and soon she was sliding back down her thread. At this rate, her hand was never going to heal.

Adelaide decided to borrow. It always helped take her mind off things. There was no way she would climb again tonight, so she entered the walls through the hole on the floor and tried to navigate her way to the kitchen from within. It wasn’t too difficult - the walls were practically set up for borrowers here - and she was elated to find out there was a hole that connected directly to the back of a cupboard. She would kill to have this back home.

Sarah had a lot more food than Ian. Snacks littered the cabinet, so much so that Adelaide couldn’t decide where to start. Bags were only rolled closed - no clips holding them shut, boxes were left open. She could spend hours here!

Unfortunately, her bag was only so big. She stashed a couple of nuts and some goldfish, and she snacked on a pretzel while she borrowed.

A rustle of plastic caught her attention. Adelaide was pretty sure she knew what it was, but she cautiously pulled out her knife, prepared for anything.

She was right. Ollie appeared from within the walls, and when they spotted each other, she threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “Dude!” she shout-whispered.

Adelaide played dumb. “What?”

“Get out of here!”

“I’m borrowing.” Part of Adelaide kept calm because she knew it would keep Ollie calm. Another part of her kept calm because it made her feel like the bigger, better person.

“Why? Your Bean doesn’t feed you?” Ollie sneered.

“Ha-ha,” Adelaide said, refusing to let that get her riled up. “Um, no, I feed myself, mostly. You want the rest of this?” She held up her pretzel stick.

“No.”

Adelaide shrugged. “I guess I’ll be on my way, then.”

Ollie froze, her posture becoming hostile. “You’re not gonna…” The implication hung in the air. You’re not gonna tell the Bean I’m here, are you?

“Oh God, no, no. I was gonna explore the walls some more…If that’s alright with you,” Adelaide said sarcastically.

“It’s actually not alright with me.”

Adelaide had had it. “What’s your problem?!”

“How dare you align yourself with a Bean?! How dare you call yourself a borrower?!”

“You think I don’t ask myself that every single day?” Adelaide shouted. Then, remembering the three giants sleeping not too far away, she lowered her voice. “Ollie, I understand more than you know. Beans took my family from me. We both have reasons to distrust them, so I know why you can’t trust me . You’ve got a family to protect. I get it. But I don’t have anyone. So forgive me for having a giant friend, but he’s the only person who has shown me any kindness in the last decade, so…”

Adelaide ran out of words. She was done. Ollie could think whatever she wanted, but Adelaide was out of here.

“I’m sorry about your family,” Ollie whispered. Shocked at the sudden change of tone, Adelaide turned to see remorse on the woman’s face. “My…our mom was taken from us too. By a mouse. It got her leg, and it got infected, and we couldn’t…”

“I’m sorry,” Adelaide repeated. What else was there to say?

“He really isn’t going to hurt us?” Ollie asked.

Adelaide heard the fear in her voice. She was scared, and she had every right to be. Maybe Adelaide was being harsh again. She noticed Ollie’s bag bulging, and it probably wasn’t polite to point it out, but she did anyway. “If you’re packing to leave, don’t. He’s not gonna hurt you. He doesn’t even know your dad or brother exist. And if you really don’t want to be around him, I can ask him to leave.”

“And take you with him?”

“I mean, yeah. Why? I thought you hated me.”

“I don't hate you. Just…misjudged you.”

They gave each other weak smiles. Did they really just come to an understanding?

“Do the other Beans know about us?” Ollie asked.

“Sarah and Kelly? No. They know I exist, but Ian wouldn’t tell them without asking you first. Or asking me to ask you,” Adelaide rambled.

“Why do you spend so much time in the walls, then?”

“Same reason you do, I guess. Security. Privacy. Borrowing. Even though I’m friends with a giant, their world is a big one. One that’s not made for us.”

Ollie thought about that. “Well, I’ve gotta get back, explain things to my dad. But I retract what I said earlier. I’m alright with you exploring the walls…Maybe I can show you around tomorrow?”

Adelaide gawked. They didn’t just come to an understanding - this was an active invitation into Ollie’s life! Maybe she could have her cake and eat it too. Her first thought was to tell Ian, but then she thought about how that was her first thought, which was…troubling. She couldn’t dwell on it though, or she’d spiral into another existential crisis. “Sure!” she said.

With that, Ollie disappeared, and Adelaide was alone in the cupboard once more. That honestly couldn’t have gone better. Spirits uplifted, she made her way back to the hole in the wall with more pep in her step.

She could find a place to sleep out in the open, but that made her nervous. Even when it was just Ian, or even an empty house, sleeping out in the open felt too vulnerable. Add in two extra Beans and a new, foreign environment - Adelaide would be surprised if she relaxed enough to sleep.

She also didn’t want to bother Ollie and her family further, so Adelaide settled for sleeping in the same place she did earlier - in the Threshold. Without a blanket, she laid her head on her lumpy bag and draped her jacket over herself. It wasn’t much, but it’d do.

It took a long time, to the point where Adelaide was sure she saw sunlight peek into the home beyond, but eventually, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

Adelaide awoke to a booming, quick rapping on the walls. The floor shook, dust fell from the ceiling, and the knocking was so loud that she had to cover her ears.

Once the noise stopped, she realized that it could only be one thing. Ian.

.

Next

[gallavichthings]

If you’ve been in the fandom for more than one week, you’ve definitely come across the name of this week’s interviewee: Shamelessquestions on AO3, or @goodkwuestion​, as Kay goes by both here and on Twitter, is a household name in this fandom, and rightfully so. With stories that rank among everyone’s favorites, such as Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Lost in Translation, Pomp and Circumstance. and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher, Kay deserves a fandom just for herself, to be honest. I had the privilege to interview them this week and find out a bit more about her relationship with Shameless, Gallavich and fanfiction.

GT: Please tell me a bit about yourself. 

K: I'm not great at this, lol. I'm a young black woman. I've been a part of one fandom or another since I was about 12, I think.I'm usually a part of one fandom at a time, because that's how my focus works. I do have grand plans to become a published author one day, though I quickly get overwhelmed by the idea. I'm currently working on a sci-fi original, but recently got sucked back into Gallavich. I'm a clinician and front line worker in "real life," and I hope everyone is staying safe and making good decisions.

GT: You said you've been part of a fandom or another since you were 12. Is that when you started reading and writing fics? What was the first fandom you read or wrote for?

K: Yes, my best friend at the time actually printed out a Kenshin fic for me to read and it blew my freaking mind. The first fandom I ever actually wrote for was a soap opera called "Days of Our Lives." But those were dark times as we do not speak of it, lol. Those stories were horrendous and I've blocked them out.

GT: Kenshin as in Rurouni Kenshin?

K: The one in the very same. I think the pairing was Aoshi/Misato in that story. My first real love was Naruto though, and that's really where it all started for me as an active fandom contributor.

GT: When did you start watching Shameless and what made you ship Ian and Mickey?

K: I started watching Shameless around 2013, I think. And I just fell head over heels for Mickey and Gallavich almost immediately.Mickey's entrance with his brothers is seared into my psyche. I really got into Gallavich when Mickey returned home from juvie, and Ian (Cam, really) was a little older and had matured.Season 3 was my cementing point. Their character portrayals were amazing and unique, and their romance and it's development felt fresh and atypical. I just loved it all.

GT:When did you start writing Gallavich fanfiction? What made you start?

K:I was inhaling fanfiction by the following year and I swear, Mintsauce is like the gateway drug for Gallavich writers.

GT: THEY ARE. Especially back then. 

K: Word! I read a fic of hers called The Taste of Familiarity and it jumped into my head to write a tribute fic for it, based on the plight of poor Callum. So The Ballad of Poor Callum Scott was born and that was my entry into Gallavich fanfiction.

GT: Reading good stories is really inspiring, isn't it?

K: So inspiring! Mintsauce's stuff in particular for me back then. This fandom is filled with amazing writers; it's mindblowing.

GT: It is, indeed. There's no shortage of fics, of all kinds.

What's the most fun thing about writing Gallavich?

K: I love how I feel no restrictions when writing them. Ian and Mickey have this wealth of experiences and range that you can put them almost anywhere and it makes complete sense, you know? They're crass and messy, but they're loving, family oriented and have all these poignant moments that can meld seamlessly into almost any scenario I can think up.

GT: And what's the most difficult thing?

K: Dealing with canon.

GT: lol

K: I broke up with Shameless a while back and it's rough writing when you pay attention to some of the nonsense they trot out.

GT: That is very true.

Are you following the last season?

K: Not really. I haven't really bothered with the show since Ian broke up with Mickey on the porch and I officially checked out. I do watch the Gallavich scenes for later seasons though and I'm listening to see if they get their canon happy ending. I think I might watch the season after I get the happy ending guarantee. I'm a sensitive baby. I would not handle it well if they did them dirty.

GT: Do you prefer writing Ian or Mickey?

K: Mickey is my baby, but I do tend to write Ian's POV more.

GT: Why do you think that is?

K: From a romantic standpoint, Mickey fell so hard and is such a sure thing in his love for Ian, I think I end up trying to equalize it a bit in my writing.For other aspects, I think I approach them a little more equally.

GT: What does your writing process look like? 

K: I don't do outlines or planning, which makes me feel like a bum sometimes. I think about the story until it runs like a movie in my head, then I just write down what I see. I post a chapter as soon as I finish editing.

GT: You don't outline and you still write those amazing stories? That's incredible. What about research? How much do you research when you write?

K: I research a ton. It can get a little obsessive sometimes, especially when I'm just looking stuff up to make a silly one off statement. In TIPDIG, I ended up spending a significant chunk of time just researching the Ferris wheel for their date, for example. I read newspaper articles about its construction, checked maps, looked up what landmarks you might see from it. I'm trained in medical research; we don't play, lol.

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most? 

K: AUs, almost always. Both multichapter and oneshots. I mix genres a lot, but love to incorporate as much humour and sexy times as I can.

GT: Who are your favorite characters aside from Ian and Mickey? Do you write them too?

K: I love Lip and Mandy, and I also have a fondness for Mickey's brothers (that entrance!) even though there isn't really much about them in canon. I haven't written any Shameless fics where Ian and Mickey weren't the center of them, but I do love lots of side characters in my stories.

GT: What's your favorite Gallavich fic that you’ve written so far and why?

K: I'll be obsessed with whatever I'm working on at the time. It's probably the Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher (TIPDIG) tho. It is my most ambitious piece of writing to date. There were a lot of moving parts involved and a lot of stuff to remember and connect. That's the drawback of keeping everything stored in your head.

GT: It's a fandom favorite for sure. But then again, everything you write is.

What are your favorite type of comments to receive? 

K: If someone leaves feedback, I'm the happiest camper in the world. I love the ones where people try to reason out wtf is going on and what I'm planning. I love when people flail at me when I drop the angst hammer. I just love it all. Wait, the angst flailing ones might just be my fave, lol.

GT: You mentioned MintSauce... Are there any other writers you admire in the fandom? Or any fics that are your favorite?

K: Duuuuude! I did a whole tribute section of some of my faves at the end of one of my fics.

So Mintsauce is the OG and Spock, omg! Do not wander and Wide-eyed walker by Spock remain part of my holy grail. Exoskeletons, Ruinmynylons, Milominderbinder... I can do this all day.

GT: What are your favorite tropes?

K: Jealousy, hands down. Soulmate and pining

GT: What are some of your fanfiction pet peeves?

K: Crazy long monologues, sex without preparation, being overly descriptive/detailed on things I feel are irrelevant, ooc behaviour.

GT: What’s your favorite season of Shameless? Do you have a favorite episode?

K: I think season 3 remains my fave, for nothing else because it's when I truly fell into Gallavich.

Fave episode is currently the one that introduced me to bridezilla Mickey. Noel ate that. It had to be fun to shoot.

GT: What's your favorite Gallavich scene?

K: That's a hard one to choose. I currently love their reunion at the docks after Mickey escaped from prison. I will always have a soft spot for the dugouts scene as well. The proposal was also good.

GT: If you could go back and change one thing in canon, what would it be?

K: Oh lord, so much. But definitely the porch breakup. That was just a mess for me.

GT: It came out for left field. 

Ok, so what's next? Do you have and fic plans?

K: Well I recently came out of Gallavich retirement and I'm currently in the middle of my latest multichap, Old Rules for New Side Pieces. I'm playing it by ear after that. I'm also trying to settle down to get to work on my original books.

GT: Best of luck with that!

K: Thank you!

GT: That was it. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this with me! Any parting words?

K: I just think it's great that you're putting time and effort into talking to fandom contributors. It was fun and I'm sure it's appreciated.

And thanks to those who have read my work, offered support and welcomed me right back. It feels good to be a part of the Shameless fandom again. ♥

[meichenxi]

<j q x> and <zh ch sh>: an in-depth pronunciation guide

Help! I can’t pronounce <j q x>! AM I FOREVER CURSED??

No! You shall rise from the void of bad pronunciation! The gleaming ladder of linguistics beckons and shall guide you to success!

Alright, let’s go! 

This, below, is your mouth! (simplified, in paint, please use your imagination) The pointy bits are your teeth - the dangly bit at the back is your velum. The bits that are relevant for us today are the alveolar ridge, post-alveolar space and the palate. 

<j q x> are all technically 'alveolo-palatal' sounds. Your alveolar ridge in your mouth is the bit behind your teeth that is very hard, before it goes upwards and gets softer. Your palate is divided into your hard palate and soft palate - the hard palate is the bit that burns when you eat pizza! 

Alveolar sounds in English are /t d s z n l/ etc - feel how your tongue is tapping off that hard ridge in the first two. We just have one palatal sound in English, made when your tongue approaches the hard palate - <y>, which is usually written /j/ in linguistics. (<this> means spelling, and /this/ means phonemic pronunciation). 

Post-alveolar sounds are sounds which are made when you retract your tongue a bit from the hard alveolar ridge. We have quite a few - /ʃ/ as in 'shot' <sh>, /ʒ/ as in 'vision' <s>, /tʃ/ as in 'church', and /dʒ/ as in <j>, 'jam'. Congratulations, because these all exist in Chinese! If you're a proficient English speaker or your language has them, pinyin <zh> , <ch> and <sh> should be straightforward (though <sh> especially is a little bit more retroflex, i.e. your tongue curled back, than the English). T

Alveolo-palatal sounds are made with your lips spread wide, with the back of your tongue raised to your palate (like in <yes> as in ‘yes’) and the tip of your tongue resting along the back of the teeth. 

Compare the two pictures. The first is the pronunciation of the post-alveolar sounds, so pinyin <zh ch sh>, and the second is the pronunciation of <j q x>. Notice how in the second picture the body of the tongue is much higher, and the tip of the tongue isn’t curled back, but resting behind the teeth. 

In the picture for the English sounds above, please note that this isn’t totally accurate - Chinese <zh ch sh> as well as <r> are more retroflex - they are pronounced with the tongue curled further back in the mouth - but while your accent may sound ‘off’ if you pronounce them in the English way, it’s close enough that it’s unlikely to be mistaken for anything else, so we’ll leave it there for now. The picture below shows the difference. 

In pinyin, <j> <q> and <x> are written with separate letters to <zh> <ch> <sh>. This is really helpful for us, because they are different sounds, but technically speaking we could write them all the same. What?? Because they are actually linguistically speaking in complementary distribution with each other. 

Think about it. 

Do you ever say ch+iang or q+ang? Or q+an or ch+ian? Or pronounce ch+u with the German umlaut vowel ü, or q+u with the normal <u>? You never do!

The consonants <jqx> and <zh ch sh> are always followed by different vowels to each other. Knowing these vowels will help you tell them apart in listening, and aid you, eventually, in production.  

Look at this diagram below of standard Chinese monophthongs (single vowels). The pointy bit is the front of our mouth, and the lines represent height and ‘backness’. The dots are where the highest point of your tongue in your mouth is when you pronounce the vowel. We only need to worry about <u> and <y> for now. 

The /u/ is the <u> we get after <zh ch sh> - e.g. chū. This is familiar to most people with knowledge of Romance languages - it’s a long, clear sound without any change of the vowel (careful native English speakers; we’re not very good at this one). The /y/ is the German <ü> or French <u>. 

The /I/ here is the high ‘ee’ sound that we get in qi, ji, xi etc. This sound doesn’t exist after <zh ch sh>, but also <s r>. Instead, we have what’s often analysed as a ‘syllabic consonant’ - if you think about it, there really isn’t much ‘vowel’ in 是 shì or 日 rì. The first is just a long <shhh> sound - but this is a complex topic best left for another day. 

Why do we get the high sounds (if you make the sounds in your mouth, you can feel that ‘eeee’ and ‘üüü’ move your tongue higher up than the other two) after the alveolo-palatal consonants and not the others? If you remember, <y> or /j/ as in ‘yes’ is a palatal consonant. This sound is actually incredibly similar to that high ‘eee’ - try saying ‘eee’ and then ‘ehhh’ (as in ‘yes’) and notice that when you switch vowel, you automatically say a <y> sound without even trying. If you are making a palatal sound like <y>, or like <j q x>, your tongue is already in the position to make <ü> and high ‘ee’ very easily. And humans are lazy - it’s much easier to follow a consonant with a vowel that’s in the same place, than to change the place completely. Technically speaking this is called ‘ease of articulation’. So when we want to say <qu>, the <u> gains some of the characteristics and is pronounced more similarly to the <q>. 

And if you think about the rest of the pinyin table - this pattern of <q j x> being associated with ‘high’ vowels doesn’t stop with <u> and <i>. You get <chang>, but you don’t get <*qang> (* means ‘wrong’), but <qiang> with an extra palatal <y> /j/ sound in there. You get <zhang>, but not <*jang>, but <jiang>. You get <shang> but <xiang> etc etc. There are essentially no overlapping areas where only the consonants and different, but the vowels are the same. This is hugely helpful for learning to recognise the difference between the two sets of consonants, and also for people understanding you, the terrible, unforgivable second language learner - since there are no contexts in which the two sets can be confused with each other, as long as you pronounce the vowel afterwards correctly, what you want to say should be clear. 

With that in mind, let’s get onto the actual pronunciation!

This is where you want to pronounce <x>. It’s similar to, but not quite the same as, the German palatal fricative written <ch> as in ‘ich’ (NOT as in ‘ach’), so if you have this sound in your inventory, you’re already winning! When you pronounce <sh>, the body of the tongue (the middle bit) is sunk down quite low; when you pronounce <x>, you need to raise the tongue towards your palate (the ‘palatal’ bit of the sound) and bring the front of your tongue under the back of your teeth, almost like you’re going to whistle. It’s helpful for all of these to put your tongue behind your lower front teeth, though you can also make the sound with it behind your upper front teeth as in the diagram below. 

When you say <x>, without any vowels following it, it should sound higher pitched, and your lips should be spread wide. When you say <sh>, it sounds lower pitched and your lips are not stretched - in fact, they’re bunched. Watch videos of native speakers pronouncing them in isolation, and try to copy their mouth shapes. 

<j> vs <q>

Most people can get away with some approximation of <x> because of the difference in vowel sounds, and while it may be wrong, if the rest of your pronunciation is ok, it won’t make a huge difference to people’s understanding of you. Many people, however, struggle hugely with <q> and <j> - and there’s no handy vowels to tell these apart. 

First: Chinese doesn’t make the distinction between voiced and voiceless consonants like many languages like Spanish or Russian, but instead between non-aspirated and aspirated consonants, a little like English. This means that English natives often actually sound more natural when they are pronouncing te de or bo po than other foreigners. For speakers of languages without this aspiration difference (the difference between a consonant with a puff of air and without), this is difficult to get used to, but doesn’t usually cause difficulties with comprehension. What it does mean, though, is that the biggest difference between <q> and <j> is aspiration - <q> is aspirated, while <j> is not. Hold out your hand and try to feel the difference. You should feel a thin stream of air hit your hand in consonants like <t p q>. 

Youtube for practicing:

Grace Mandarin - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05BMKdxHjp8 Mandarin Blueprint - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxIL11PcNXE Yoyo Chinese - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K1RTPxWiI0

BUT - BUT IT’S STILL SO HARD!!! HOW CAN I MAKE IT EASIER??

Firstly, this vowel difference afterwards is incredibly important. Your pronunciation won’t be CORRECT if you only make this vowel difference, but it will go a LONG way towards helping you a) distinguish the correct pronunciation of other speakers, and b) copying them more accurately. What we’re all doing now, as second language learners or learners who have grown up without as much input as we’d like, is retraining our brain to the contrasts that are important. English doesn’t have a contrast between <q> and <ch>, or <sh> and <x>, so naturally if you’re a monolingual native English speaker it’s going to take some time. Be patient with yourselves. When we’re very young babies, we can make a difference between all phonemic distinctions in the world. And then at about 10 months we just lose that ability essentially instantly, because we’ve already established which contrasts are important and which aren’t. That’s not to say kids can’t learn it - because they clearly do - or adults can’t, but that you are LITERALLY RETRAINING YOUR BRAIN.

 It’s not just about where to put your tongue, how to shape your mouth. Our brains are effective - they only store which information is necessary for the language, nothing extraneous. Technically speaking the /k/ in <kit> and <car> are two very different sounds, and in some languages they count as different phonemes and are written with different letters - but you probably never even noticed they were different at all! Because in English, all the extra information that says ‘this sound is pronounced more palatal’ and ‘this sound is pronounced more velar’ just doesn’t matter. So when you’re trying to learn these contrasts that don’t exist in your native language, it doesn’t matter if you can make the sound correctly once. What you actually need to do is convince your brain that every single time you hear or pronounce <j q x zh ch sh> you need to pay attention to contrast it previously filed under ‘not important’.

Lastly: be kind to yourself!!!

This takes babies about 10 months to get down - 10 months of solid, constant input with caregivers that are very focused on them. And you’re fighting how your brain has wired itself to disregard that contrast. How can you fix this? Input. INPUT IS KING. You need to present your brain with enough Chinese, enough different voices and speakers, to make it realise that there’s a crucial, important difference between all <qiang> and <chang> and so on. This will take time, but as long as you have enough input you’ll get there. But be kind to yourself. YOU ARE RESHAPING YOUR BRAIN. 

加油！

- 梅晨曦

[ladywynneoutlander]

Letters of Outlander Masterlist

I don't know when or if I will get back to this, so I'm posting what I have finished. This is everything through ABOSAA with a touch of Echo. The letters are listed chronologically and then in book order. I’ve put *** next to my favorites. : )

Chronological Order (by date written)

1700′s

John Grey to Benedicta Grey, Voyager Ch. 8, February 15, 1755

John Grey to Harold Grey, Voyager Chapter 10, April 2, 1755

Ian Murray to Jamie, Drums of Autumn Chapter 10, June 1767

Ian Murray to Jamie Fraser (marked private), Drums of Autumn Chapter 10, June 1767

Jamie Fraser to Jenny Murray, Drums of Autumn Ch 34, September 19, 1769 (Part 1)

Jamie Fraser to Jenny Murray (with a note from Young Ian), Drums of Autumn Ch 34, began September 19, 1769 (Part 2)

***Jamie to Brianna, Drums of Autumn Chapter 62, 1770

Young Ian to Jamie Fraser, Drums of Autumn Ch. 70, Received October 1770

John Grey to Jamie Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 30, October 13, 1770

Governor William Tryon to James Fraser, TFC Ch. 7, October 20, 1770

William Tryon to James Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 19, November 22, 1770

Jamie Fraser to Lord John Grey, The Fiery Cross Ch.25, December 1, 1770

Archibald Hayes to Jamie Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 37, January 18, 1771

William Tryon to James Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 55, March 19, 1771

William Tryon to General Thomas Gage, TFC Ch. 56, March 19, 1771

William Tryon to the Regulators, TFC Ch. 61, May 16, 1771 

William to Jamie, TFC Ch. 77, 1771

Jenny Murray to Jamie Fraser, TFC Ch. 99, September 16, 1771

Lord John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 8, April 14, 1773

Jamie to Lord John Grey, A Breath of Snow and Ashes Chapter 17, 1773

Lord John Grey to Claire Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 20, September 4, 1773

Jamie Fraser to Lord John Grey, ABOSAA Ch. 41, April 2, 1774

Lord John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 59, 1774?

Jamie Fraser to John Stuart, ABOSAA Ch. 67, November 1, 1774

John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 76, March 6, 1775

Jamie Fraser to John Grey, ABOSAA Ch. 76, March 16, 1775

Marsali Fraser to Jamie and Claire Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 79, Spring 1775

Claire and Jamie Fraser to Brianna MacKenzie, Echo Ch. 2, December 31, 1776

Jamie Fraser to Brianna Fraser, Echo Ch. 7, March 2, 1777

1900′s

***Frank Randall to Rev. Reginald Wakefield, Drums of Autumn Ch. 71, 1960′s?

Eric Linklater to Roger Wakefield MacKenzie, Voyager Chapter 7, May 25, 1968

***Claire to Brianna, Voyager Ch 42, October 1968

Book Order

Voyager

Eric Linklater to Roger Wakefield MacKenzie, Voyager Chapter 7, May 25, 1968

John Grey to Benedicta Grey, Voyager Ch. 8, February 15, 1755

John Grey to Harold Grey, Voyager Chapter 10, April 2, 1755

***Claire to Brianna, Voyager Ch 42, October 1968

Drums of Autumn

Ian Murray to Jamie, Drums of Autumn Chapter 10, June 1767

Ian Murray to Jamie Fraser (marked private), Drums of Autumn Chapter 10, June 1767

Jamie Fraser to Jenny Murray, Drums of Autumn Ch 34, September 19, 1769 (Part 1)

Jamie Fraser to Jenny Murray (with a note from Young Ian), Drums of Autumn Ch 34, began September 19, 1769 (Part 2)

***Jamie to Brianna, Drums of Autumn Chapter 62, 1770

Young Ian to Jamie Fraser, Drums of Autumn Ch. 70, Received October 1770

***Frank Randall to Rev. Reginald Wakefield, Drums of Autumn Ch. 71, 1960′s?

The Fiery Cross

Governor William Tryon to James Fraser, TFC Ch. 7, October 20, 1770

William Tryon to James Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 19, November 22, 1770

Jamie Fraser to Lord John Grey, The Fiery Cross Ch.25, December 1, 1770

John Grey to Jamie Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 30, October 13, 1770

Archibald Hayes to Jamie Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 37, January 18, 1771

William Tryon to James Fraser, The Fiery Cross Ch. 55, March 19, 1771

William Tryon to General Thomas Gage, TFC Ch. 56, March 19, 1771

William Tryon to the Regulators, TFC Ch. 61, May 16, 1771

William to Jamie, TFC Ch. 77, 1771

Jenny Murray to Jamie Fraser, TFC Ch. 99, September 16, 1771

A Breath of Snow and Ashes

Lord John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 8, April 14, 1773

Jamie to Lord John Grey, A Breath of Snow and Ashes Chapter 17, 1773

Lord John Grey to Claire Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 20, September 4, 1773

Jamie Fraser to Lord John Grey, ABOSAA Ch. 41, April 2, 1774

Lord John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 59, 1774?

Jamie Fraser to John Stuart, ABOSAA Ch. 67, November 1, 1774

John Grey to Jamie Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 76, March 6, 1775

Jamie Fraser to John Grey, ABOSAA Ch. 76, March 16, 1775

Marsali Fraser to Jamie and Claire Fraser, ABOSAA Ch. 79, Spring 1775

An Echo in the Bone

Claire and Jamie Fraser to Brianna MacKenzie, Echo Ch. 2, December 31, 1776

Jamie Fraser to Brianna Fraser, Echo Ch. 7, March 2, 1777

LoO Picsets

Part 1

Part 2

Picset 3

[otheroutlandertales]

Anonymous said: How about one of the stories from Grandfather Tales -- the book Jamie printed when he and Claire went back to Scotland?

Author’s Note: This one is loosely based on the fairy tale Tikki Tikki Tembo.

Other Grandfather Tales

by @abbydebeaupreposts

“Da, Da, Da!” Ian Murray glanced down to see his son tugging on his sleeve. It was getting toward nightfall, but the children had been indefatigable. Not even sitting them all down for dinner had quieted them. Still, it was a special kind of joy to see Og with his cousins. As if that thought had conjured her up, he caught a flash of Bree’s red hair mid-swing as she was tagged by Jem. “Yer it!” he shouted with glee and escaped the long reach of her arm. It was so good to have them back on the Ridge. His eyes swept across the campfire taking in the sight of his mother and his uncle leaning against each other in companionable silence, like him, both content to watch all the children running and playing in the meadow just beyond.

His auntie Claire was helping Rachel put things away for the evening and Roger still wasn’t back from the springhouse with the jugs of ale.

He felt another sharp tug and stared into the sun kissed face of his son, “What is it, a bhalaich?” 

“What’s thee names?”

“What? My names?” Ian wondered what he meant. Og still had a tendency to mix his prepositions. 

“No Da, thee,” he said pointing to his own chest, “All them.” Og bounced up and down on his heels and made a wide sweeping gesture to encompass just about everybody in his field of view.

“He wants to know his middle names,” this explanation coming from Mandy who had intercepted her father and was now carrying a jug that looked heavy in her arms. Ian quickly plucked it from her, pouring himself a generous glass. When he didn’t immediately respond, Mandy went on, “I’m Amanda Claire Hope MacKenzie and Jemmy is Jeremiah Alexander Ian Fraser MacKenzie, Da is Roger Jeremiah Wakefield MacKenzie and Mam is Brianna Ellen Randall Fraser MacKenzie and Grandda is—.”

“Ah, like the way I am Ian James Fitzgibbons Fraser Murray,” Ian noted. 

“And Okwaho'kenha,” Rachel said using his Mohawk name. She scooped Og up and held Ian’s gaze. He could read her like a book, and knew he was going to be fielding this one. 

“Well Og, the plain truth of it is, yer name is just plain Og Murray. We thought we’d pick out a  name for you in the Mohawk fashion when you got a bit older.” The real story was only slightly more complicated than that, but he could tell from the look on his son’s face neither of these explanations were going to satisfy him. What else could he say? It simply did not match with his mother’s Quaker upbringing nor his Mohawk traditions to give children ostentatiousness names at birth.  

Og, unfortunately, had been going through a why, why, why stage -- morning, noon and night -- of late. Now, he could tell his son was gearing up for a lengthy discourse on the subject and had no way to head him off at the pass. 

Salvation came in the form of a gravelly voice from across the fire pit, “You should tell him the real story.” Upon hearing his grandfather’s voice, Og squirmed until Rachel put him back down and he raced across the edge of the fire to strong arms that helped him climb onto his lap, Og pulling himself up by latching onto the man’s thick, white beard.

“Story? Thee tell, Moopa!” Og demanded. 

“Thee wants to hear it, then?” Murtagh gently teased, for prepositions were hard enough for a bairn to figure out, let alone one with a Quaker mother.

It had been Og who’d christened him Moopa and, of course, the name had stuck with all the rest of the bairns as well. He was pleased to have his own special family name. Murtagh accepted a glass of ale from Claire, who had returned and settled down beside him for what promised to be a good tale, if the smiles on Jamie and Jenny’s faces were any indication.

“This is a story about your other grandfathers,” he began and slowly all the other children came to settle around and listen as well, “Yer Grandda Jamie and your Grandpa Ian, ye ken the one in Scotland?” Murtagh look down at Og. 

“Oh, Lallybroch,” he breathed. Og had been told enough stories for the Highlands to occupy a place of almost mystical wonder in his imagination.

“Aye, just so, my lad. Wayback when your grandfathers were around Jem’s age, they had been given charge of the stables, the watering and feeding of the horses.” 

At this Og uttered the Cherokee word for horses and, hearing it, Ian shared a private smile with Rachel. “Well, it was getting to harvest season and yer great grandfather, the one they called Black Brian,” this time it was Jem’s turn to exclaim, “Dubh!” Ian watched as Jamie shot his grandson a look of startled appreciation, it had been a long time since he’d heard anyone call his father by that name. 

“Aye, that’s what they called him,” Jenny agreed. 

“Believe it or no, Granny Jenny’s hair used to be black as night, just like our father’s,” Jamie said, patting his sister’s knee.  

“Ye may be younger than me, my lad, but do ye ken ye have almost as much silver on yer heid as me?” Her eyes danced. 

“The boys, puffed wi’ self-importance at being given such responsibility, began well enough, mucking the stables and getting the hay. But they soon tired of lugging heavy buckets of water between the well and the stables. Yer Grandda got it into his head to have some fun with poor Grandpa Ian and next thing he knew, a bucket had been dumped right o’er his head. That made your Grandpa so angry that he turned quick as lightning and went after Jamie.”

“Aye, charged me just like that daft bull up in the north pasture,” Jamie confirmed.

“It’s hard to picture Ian going on the attack,” Bree laughed, remembering her gentle uncle as more of a peacemaker than a fighter. 

“No… not after the leg, that’s true enough,” Murtagh agreed.

“In his prime, though,” Jenny said, “He was a canty wee fighter. But he got the best of Jamie wi’out landing a single blow.”

“What happened?” Germain demanded. At that, Murtagh snorted and gave all the children a look full of mirth. 

“Jamie was so surprised, he backed all the way up to the edge of the well and the next thing he knew, he went arse over teakettle, straight into the well!” At this the children let out delighted shrieks of laughter, and the adults all smiled at the abashed look on Jamie’s face. “Well, now, luckily he didna hit his head on his way down; but he was trapped, and good. Stuck there at the bottom of the well. He couldna climb out, for the stone was slippery and Ian wasna strong enough to lift him all by himself using the rope. Try as they might, he and Ian couldna figure out how to get him out of there.”

“Aye, the worst part was the chores werena done. I thought if Da came back and saw me trapped, he’d likely throw Ian in after me. So, I told Ian to run quick as he may and get help.” Jamie told them. 

“I was out back, plucking a chicken,” Jenny added, “Feathers all over my hair. I was sweet on him, even then, and thought I must look a fright but even so I kent he looked worse. All red in the face, wheezing and a look of terror about him. Lord, I thought something terrible had happened to Jamie.” 

“Something terrible did happen to Jamie…” Jamie put in and Claire laughed. 

“I meant,” Jenny said with the exaggerated patience of someone who has had this argument many times before, “Something really terrible, and the longer it took him to spit it out the more worried I became.” 

“What did Ian finally say?” Claire asked. 

“He said,” Murtagh cut in, rolling his eyes at Jamie and Jenny for interrupting his flow, “‘James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser has fallen into the well!’ That’s why it took him so long to get it out. Ye ken there were several Jamie Frasers living around those parts back then and so he needed to tell the whole name. And yer Granny Jenny said, ‘Oh my lord, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser has fallen into the well! Ye must go find Murtagh!’ And so poor Ian didna even have time to catch his breath and he had to set off again, all over Lallybroch desperate to get my help before Jamie’s Da came back. And at every croft he has to say the same thing, ‘James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser has fallen into the well, is Murtagh here?’ It took forever for him to get that great long name out over and over again. By the time word reached me, it was too late. Brian had returned. Between the three of us, we managed to get Jamie out of the well. By that time the poor lad was an ice cube. I’m surprised wee pieces of his backside didna crack off with each lash his Da laid down. I dinna think either lad sat down for two days after.”

“God, ‘twas true, there I was shiverin’ and shaking so hard I swear I could hear my balls rattling in-” Jamie abruptly closed his mouth, turning red as he suddenly remembered the women and children. Murtagh gave him a look and he saw more than one of the boys absently touching their own laps in sympathy. 

“The next day, I overheard Jamie and Ian talking, and Jamie says, ‘God man, what took you so long?’ And Ian, still smarting from the strapping he got from Brian and then the ten extra his own Da added, turned around, all red in the face and steaming and he said ‘I’d like to see ye do better! Running around the countryside yelling out a name like James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser. If I had been the one who fell, it wouldna have taken ye all of two seconds to say Ian Murray and I’ll tell ye now, if I never ever have to say that long name again it will be too soon!’” 

“Oh Christ, poor Ian,” Jamie said wiping tears of laughter, “I’d forgotten that part.” Jamie nudged his sister’s leg. “Come to think of it, I dinna think he ever did say my full name out loud again. When I became a mercenary in France, he shortened my name altogether, introduced me as Jamie MacTavish.”

“And so, wee Og Murray, not long before yer parents got marrit, Ian went back to see Grandpa in Scotland and yer Grandpa told yer Da that story. Then, made his son promise that he’d take better care and no’ burden his grandson with a muckle-sized name. The shorter the better, that’s the moral of that tale!”