#certified glacier moment

[raishifts]

MY BABIESSS

you sit 2 introverts at a table together this is what you get

[maretriarch]

manager: this is a fast paced job you have to be fast when you put the tags on (grocery store job in the middle of a winter storm) (its not that serious) (im not on the clock)

me: i cant talk to you while im using the bathroom i have a shy bladder

[krankittoeleven]

Snippet Sunday?!

Because Wednesday is sort of like a weird void in my week and I can't seem to remember that it's Wednesday when it actually is Wednesday, I present to you Snippet Sunday. It's just like WIP Wednesday, except it's on a day my brain acknowledges the existence of. =D

This is another snippet from CH 12 of Water of Life, just a quick little bit from a fluffy little scene with maybe just a little reminder that OH YEAH, these guys are Vikings that get in fights and stuff. LOL Hoping to have the chapter out next week but next week is also the most chaotic week of the year when all of my clients come yelling for tax advice despite the fact that I am not a certified accountant. So IDK, it depends on how needy everyone is *eyeroll* I love my job except the week before taxes are due.

Anyway...

Sighing, Vili casts his gaze over Ubba as he sleeps on his back. He is quiet and still except for the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest. It almost feels like an intrusive thing to see, like a private part of Ubba’s life he had not previously had access to, except in Jorvik when Ubba had been recovering from his injury. But even then, that had not been sleep so much as potion induced unconsciousness in which Ubba had often looked pained and uncomfortable, despite his many protests to the contrary upon waking. Any other time and Ubba would have been awake long before Vili had begun to stir, but here and now in the growing light of the early morning, Ubba looks comfortable and relaxed and it eases some of Vili’s anxiety that had been stirred up by his return.

Slowly, lazily, Ubba rolls onto his side, his hand sliding along the bedding as if he is searching for something. Searching for him, Vili realizes, as he uncrosses his legs and stretches them to their full length, giving Ubba’s hand something to find.

“You are awake early,” Ubba says, his voice husky with sleep as his hand settles on Vili’s ankle, his fingers caressing first, then squeezing.

It was still such a relief, an almost unbearable weight in and of itself, to feel Ubba’s touch again.

“Maybe you’re just up late?” Vili suggests, not wishing for Ubba to know just how much his being gone had affected him.

Ubba smiles, only half of it visible with the way his head is turned.

“Maybe,” Ubba agrees before he pushes himself up into a sitting position.

Vili scoots closer to meet him, and now he can better see that small patch of gray hair above Ubba’s lip that he’d noticed the night before, that he’d been staring at since the light first lit upon it that morning, and the new scar that leads up towards his cheekbone. Gently, Vili reaches up and turns Ubba’s head to the side and caresses the scar with the fingers of his other hand.

“What did they do to you in Dorstate?” Vili asks, curious not only about the scar, but also if it had come before or after the gray.

“Not Dorstate,” Ubba replies. “Even at home, I have the occasional enemy, perhaps in part because I left.”

“I hope they walked away worse off because of it,” Vili says, smiling, as he imagines Ubba very deftly defending himself.

Ubba turn his head back towards Vili, a surprisingly serious look on his face, considering the moment.

“They did not walk away.”

Ubba’s eye meet Vili’s and he holds them in his gaze, like he is frozen in a glacier.

“Good,” Vili says before leaning in to press his lips first against the scar and then Ubba’s lips. In all things he would have Ubba emerge victorious, no matter the cost.

[amanktreks]

Solang Valley Paragliding: Take Flight in the Valley’s Beauty!

Solang Valley, nestled between Solang Village and Beas Kund, is one of the most popular tourist destinations in Himachal Pradesh. Known for its enchanting beauty, this stunning valley is a haven for adventure enthusiasts. At an altitude of 8,400 feet above sea level, it offers mesmerizing views of snow-capped mountain peaks, alpine meadows, and glaciers. Among the various exciting Solang Valley activities, one experience stands out for its adrenaline-pumping thrill – Solang Valley Paragliding. If you’ve always dreamt of flying, this activity will offer you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to soar high above the valley and witness its beauty from an entirely new perspective.

Why Choose Solang Valley Paragliding?

Solang Valley according to many is the ultimate dream getaway to go paragliding. Great weather, pleasant views and a lot of guides equipped with the necessary tools give a wonderful experience. For first-timers and professionals, Solang Valley inside a paraglider is an experience which is not forgettable.

Picture yourself soaring above the greenery, alpine forests, and glaciers beneath, while the magnificent Himalayan ranges encircle you. This is the best way to describe the feeling of flying while enjoying the exquisite beauty of the landscape. This is why anyone coming to Solang Valley should try Solang Valley Paragliding.

Solang Valley Activities: More Than Just Paragliding

Apart from paragliding in Solang Valley, the region has a host of other thrilling Solang Valley activities which makes it a great destination for adventure junkies. The valley has it all from winter sports like skiing or snowboarding to summer fun, like zorbing, mountain biking or trekking. These activities along with the picturesque view of the valley make it a great place to visit with family and friends.

However, Solang Valley paragliding, towards the valley, happens to be one of the greatest attractions for people who not only want to enjoy the thrill of flying But also the exquisite beauty of nature.

Solang Valley Paragliding Price and Rates

If you're wondering about the cost of Solang Valley paragliding, you're in luck! The experience is affordable, making it accessible to a wide range of tourists. The Solang Valley paragliding price typically depends on the duration of the flight, but it’s generally quite reasonable.

5 to 10 minutes flight: ₹3499 per person

This package gives you the perfect opportunity to experience the exhilarating freedom of flight while taking in the panoramic views of Solang Valley from above. The Solang Valley paragliding rates include the necessary equipment, instructions from experienced pilots, and a safe, guided experience.

What’s Included in the Solang Valley Paragliding Packages?

The Paragliding Solang Valley Cost covers several essential components that ensure you have a smooth and safe experience. These include:

Safety Equipment – All safety requirements such as the harness which straps you to the glider, the helmet for protection, and the glider itself are supplied to you.

Experienced Instructors – Certified practitioners will be by your side all the time and due to this, even a starter will be comfortable.

Transport to Launch Point – Also, the fare has a transport charge which entails a few minutes to reach the launch point at Solang Valley.

Photo and Video Services – The photography service is offered by many companies, which allows you to have stunning images of unforgettable moments from the sky.

Safety Tips for Paragliding in Solang Valley

It is essential to bear in mind that the thrilling experience of paragliding in Solang Valley should not be experienced at the cost of safety. Here are a few essential safety tips:

Pay attention to your instructor: As your instructor briefs you on how to stay safe while flying and having fun, remember to take their instructions seriously as well.

Check weather conditions: Because of the dependency of paragliding on the weather, it is wise to be sure that the conditions allow paragliding.

Dress appropriately: As Solang Valley can be cold, especially in the mornings, dress well in warm and comfy clothes.

Self-awareness: For those who are new at paragliding, it is okay to do shorter flights in the beginning, and increase the time as the body becomes more used to it.

Conclusion

Solang Valley activities give a chance to get a taste of paragliding in the Solang Valley, which is an adventurous activity. Paragliding prices in Solang are quite reasonable and also include almost everything you require for a safe and fun-filled flight, therefore it is something you would not want to miss out on If one wants to go for adventure, parasailing and paragliding in Solang Valley are ideal choices to meet your adrenaline seeking which is accompanied by the beautiful scenery. If doing parasailing solo seems boring to you then fear not, as Solang Valley has a lot of different fun activities that allow you to do exercises with your friends and family.

So, pack your bags, head to Solang Valley, and get ready to take a flight in one of the most beautiful valleys in India!

[everestassistance]

Elevate Your Adventure: Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour - Where Dreams Touch the Sky

Are you ready to experience the majestic beauty of Mount Everest like never before? The Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour offers an exclusive way to witness the breathtaking landscapes of the Himalayas. This once-in-a-lifetime journey allows you to fly directly to the base camp of the world's tallest mountain, without the need for a grueling trek. In this article, we will explore everything you need to know about this thrilling helicopter adventure, including the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Landing Tour.

Why Choose an Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour?

The Everest Base Camp Helicopter tour is an ideal option for those who wish to see the awe-inspiring views of the Everest region but don't have the time or energy for the traditional multi-day trek. This helicopter ride provides a comfortable and quick alternative while still offering unmatched panoramic views of the surrounding peaks, glaciers, and valleys.

What to Expect on the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour

The journey starts from Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal, where you board a luxurious helicopter bound for the Everest region. Along the way, you will fly past some of the highest peaks in the world, including Lhotse, Makalu, and Cho Oyu. The highlight of this tour is undoubtedly the stop at Everest Base Camp, where you will get the chance to land and soak in the surrounding scenery.

In addition to Everest Base Camp, the tour also includes a stop at Kala Patthar, a famous viewpoint located at 5,545 meters (18,192 feet). From this vantage point, you can enjoy spectacular views of Everest's south face, the Khumbu Icefall, and the surrounding peaks. The landing at Kala Patthar allows you to take memorable photos and appreciate the raw beauty of the Himalayas up close.

Everest Base Camp Helicopter Landing Tour: A Unique Experience

One of the main attractions of the Everest base Camp Helicopter landing tour is the opportunity to land directly at Everest Base Camp. While traditional trekkers have to endure several days of strenuous hiking to reach the base camp, helicopter passengers can experience this extraordinary location in just a few hours.

The landing is a brief but magical moment that allows you to step onto the same ground where climbers from all over the world prepare for their summit attempts. The tour provides an unforgettable chance to stand at the foot of Mount Everest without the physical demands of trekking.

The Helicopter Ride: Comfort and Safety

Despite the challenging environment, the helicopters used for the Everest Base Camp tours are designed for maximum comfort and safety. They are equipped with advanced technology to ensure smooth flying, even in the high-altitude regions of the Himalayas. The helicopters are also piloted by experienced, certified professionals who prioritize passenger safety.

Throughout the journey, you will be seated in a comfortable, climate-controlled cabin, offering panoramic views through large windows. The helicopters can accommodate up to five passengers, making the ride intimate and personal, with each passenger having a clear view of the majestic Himalayas.

Best Time to Take the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour

The best time to embark on the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour is during the spring (March to May) and autumn (September to November) seasons. During these months, the weather is typically clear, offering the best visibility and optimal flying conditions. The skies are crisp, and the temperature is relatively mild, making it an ideal time to enjoy the stunning views of the Everest region.

Cost of the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour

The cost of the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour can vary depending on the tour operator, the duration of the flight, and whether you are booking a private or shared ride. On average, the cost ranges from $1,000 to $1,500 per person for a shared ride. Private tours can be significantly more expensive, with prices often exceeding $2,000 per person.

While this may seem costly, the unique experience, safety, and convenience it offers make it a worthwhile investment for adventure seekers and nature lovers alike.

Is the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour Worth It?

Absolutely! The Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour offers a convenient and breathtaking way to see the most famous mountain range in the world. Whether you are limited by time, fitness, or simply want to avoid the physical challenge of trekking, this tour provides an unmatched opportunity to experience the Everest region's beauty from a bird’s eye view.

Moreover, the helicopter landing at Everest Base Camp is an exclusive experience that few people will ever have the chance to enjoy. The stunning aerial views of the Everest massif and surrounding peaks are unlike anything else, making it a truly once-in-a-lifetime adventure.

Conclusion: Experience the Majesty of Everest in Comfort

The Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour is the perfect way to witness the grandeur of the Himalayas. Whether you opt for the traditional tour or the landing tour, you will experience some of the most awe-inspiring landscapes on Earth. With its mix of adventure, comfort, and breathtaking views, the Everest Base Camp Helicopter Tour is an experience you’ll never forget. So why wait? Book your adventure today and take to the skies to witness the power and beauty of Mount Everest from above.

[officrnolen]

📜

Send in 📜 and I’ll use this incorrect quotes generator using your muse and my muse.

Maddie: When did you become a hero? Jinx: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed. Maddie: You’re the last person on earth I wanted to rescue me. Jinx: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

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Jinx: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm. Maddie: That is not something you actually have installed. Jinx: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

--------------------------------

Jinx: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. Maddie: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. Jinx: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

--------------------------------

Maddie: I feel so burnt out. Jinx: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon. Maddie: Are you gonna... assassinate me? Jinx: Well not if you’re expecting it.

[strengervinay]

5 Things to Admire About Kareri Trek!

Let’s Talk About It

Nestled in the heart of the Dhauladhar mountain range, the Kareri Lake Trek is a must-visit for adventure enthusiasts and nature lovers alike. From pristine landscapes to awe-inspiring views, this trek offers a mix of serenity and challenge, making it one of the most cherished experiences near Dharamshala. Let's explore five reasons why the Kareri Lake Trek is worth admiring!

1. Stunning Kareri Lake and Its Unique Beauty

Situated at an altitude of 2950 meters, Kareri Lake is a sight to behold. This glacial lake, surrounded by snow-capped peaks and lush meadows, mirrors the beauty of the sky, creating a heavenly view.

Kareri Lake Temperature: During the day, temperatures range from 12°C to 18°C, while nights drop to a chilling -6°C to 4°C. The icy ambiance adds to its pristine charm.

The clear waters, sourced from melting glaciers, make Kareri Lake a serene retreat for the soul.

2. The Vibrant Charm of Kareri Village

Your trek begins and ends in Kareri Village, a picturesque hamlet that serves as a gateway to this adventure.

Immerse yourself in the vibrant culture of the locals and savor their warm hospitality.

The lush surroundings and traditional architecture make this village an ideal place to relax before and after the trek.

3. An Exciting Dharamshala Trek Experience

The Kareri Lake Trek is one of the best treks near Dharamshala, combining scenic beauty and adventure.

The trail offers breathtaking views of the Dhauladhar range, dense forests, and glistening streams.

A moderate-to-hard trek, it challenges adventurers with steep ascents and rocky terrains while rewarding them with unparalleled vistas.

4. A Perfect Balance of Distance and Adventure

The Kareri Lake Trek Distance is approximately 10 km (one way), making it an ideal choice for a 2-day escape into nature.

Day 1 involves a gradual ascent through forests and meadows, reaching the lake by evening.

Day 2 features a scenic descent back to Kareri Village, offering mesmerizing views of grazing sheep and lush fields.

5. Unmatched Serenity and Camping Experience

Camping by Kareri Lake is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Enjoy a star-studded sky as you sit around a cozy bonfire, sharing stories with fellow trekkers.

With the sound of flowing water and the cool breeze, every moment feels magical.

Quick Facts About the Kareri Lake Trek

Start and End Point: Kareri Village

Duration: 2 Days/1 Night

Trek Distance: 10 km (One Way)

Altitude: 2950 meters

Difficulty Level: Moderate to Hard

Temperature: Day: 12°C to 18°C | Night: -6°C to 4°C

Package Option with Universal Adventures

For just ₹1349 per person, Universal Adventures offers a budget-friendly and thrilling trek package, including:

Certified Instructor

High-Quality Safety Equipment

Accommodation on Triple or Quad Sharing Basis

Veg Meals (Dinner & Breakfast)

Permits and Necessary Equipment

The Kareri Trek is more than just a journey; it’s an escape into nature’s untouched beauty. Whether it's the mesmerizing Kareri Lake, the charming Kareri Village, or the exhilarating Dharamshala trek, every step of this trek is a memory waiting to be made.

So, pack your bags and embark on this incredible adventure with Universal Adventures—where nature and thrill come together!

[coven-base]

Dick, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Meredith, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me.

Meredith: Yeah, Dick will straight up cry in public. Don't try him.

Dick: Exactly, I will straight up-

Dick:

Dick, tearing up: Meredith, why would you say that?!

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Meredith: Thank God you were there. Dick. I knew you wouldn't let your baby sis die.

Dick: I'm still gonna arrest you. I just can't do that if you're dead.

Meredith: Whatever you gotta tell yourself. Baby steps. It's hard getting them out of their shell.

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick: What do we say when life disappoints us?

Meredith: Called it!

Dick: No.

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick: You’re giving me a sticker?

Meredith: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Dick: I’m not a preschooler.

Meredith: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Dick: I earned this, back off!

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick, looking at Meredith: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-

Meredith: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??

Dick: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Meredith: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

Dick: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Dick: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?

Meredith: Did you just make that up?

Dick: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.

Meredith:

Dick: A really long fortune cookie.

🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏾‍♂️

Meredith: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Dick: Apparently, we're not.

[https-fishcake]

Certified cemetery weather moment

[messy-gemini1]

Silco x reader and their unruly child and bastard aunt :)

Sevika: You have friends and I envy that. Silco: You're welcome to share my friends. Sevika: *looks at Jinx and Y/n* Sevika: I don't want those. ______

Y/n: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. Sevika: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. Y/n: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd. ______

Sevika: Love makes people do stupid things. Jinx: I love everything! Sevika: That explains a lot. ______

Sevika: You played me! Y/n: Like the cheap kazoo you are! ______

Sevika: Isn’t a bit dangerous? Y/n: Sevika, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt. Sevika: ... Y/n: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt. Sevika: ... Y/n: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home. ______

Y/n: We're having another moment, aren't we? Silco: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are. ______

Jinx: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Silco: I’m worried about you. Y/n: I'm never taking you to a zoo.. ______

Y/n, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. Jinx: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Y/n: I have depression, what do you think? ______

Silco: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who. Y/n: Voldemort? Silco: No. Y/n: Is it Voldemort? Silco: It's not Voldemort. Y/n: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort. ______

Sevika: What is wrong with you? Y/n: Loaded question. Elaborate. Sevika: ______ Sevika: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon. Y/n: Cool. Sevika: Do you know who Joe is? Y/n: JOE MAMA! Jinx, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired. ______

Jinx: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Silco: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. *Y/n walks in* Silco: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

[sad-boy-hank]

incorrect quotes but its the asylum bois and walnut's ocs

again. i am so sorry.

@distressedwalnut

~~~~

Wyatt: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Mike: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

~~~~

Wyatt: Go ahead, Mason. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Ackworth: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

~~~~

Hofnarr, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha. Wyatt: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

~~~~

Patroclus: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. Jackie: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. Patroclus: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

~~~~

Ackworth: It’s funny how well you and Dep get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Crackpot: Dep hates everybody at first. It’s her way of reaching out to people.

~~~~

Mike: Are you mad? Wyatt: No. Mike: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

~~~~

Dep: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Ackworth: Spear. Dep: BLOCKED.

~~~~

Wyatt: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

~~~~

Hofnarr: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Jackie: Several traffic violations. Mike: Three counts of resisting arrest. Ackworth: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Mason: Also, that’s not our car.

~~~~

Crackpot: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Emilia: Bees? Crackpot: SHE HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Emilia: Wait- *Ackworth approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

~~~~

Jackie: Ackworth, gather the others. We need to have another Patroclus-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

~~~~

Mason: I want a trip down memory lane. Emilia: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Mason's lap* Emilia: I heard you needed these? Mason: YES! ALL OF THEM!

~~~~

Dep: You're a lying piece of shit! Crackpot: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Ackworth: I'm leaving and I'm taking Thomas with me! Jackie, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

~~~~

Emilia: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. Emilia: And I started thinking. Emilia: Like, it was just trying to get food. Emilia: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? Patroclus: Are you ok?

~~~~

Wyatt: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s face, look into their eyes... Wyatt: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Dep: ...That took an unexpected turn. Hofnarr: So did their neck.

~~~~

Mason: Eli and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Jackie: What did you do? Mason: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Crackpot: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~

Ackworth: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Eli without them noticing? Patroclus: Hey, Crackpot, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Crackpot: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Ackworth: ...

~~~~

Wyatt: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Ackworth: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

~~~~

Wyatt: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... Patroclus, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Wyatt: I was actually going to send you out into the wilderness and hunt you for sport, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

~~~~

Patroclus, at Ackworth's funeral: I need a moment with them. Everyone: Of course. *They leave* Patroclus, leaning over Ackworth′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Ackworth: Yeah, no shit.

[sasorikigai]

@drecmcrcfters​ continued from here (x)

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 || The parts of him always leave behind the construct of time; with every waking moment, Hanzo feels like a flower losing a petal every day. As time unravels, he is turning into the version of himself who feels so strange, who feels so incapable of feeling things, who is unsure. He doesn’t even recognize himself at all; benumbed and paralyzed, the once all-encompassing love which had became the most defining aspect of his life becoming too difficult to really acknowledge it, despite it being always there, every day, warm and consistent. Hanzo Hasashi was meant to love Harumi anew every time that soft light peaks over the horizon in the early hours of the morning, as when radiant spread of deepened hues permeate the horizon in twilight. Even in the most desolate, glacier winter, the sun will rise and fall, as the wishes and dreams concurrently unfold as the vast mystic falls of his flames will bask the dilapidated ruins of his subconscious. 

This ridiculous weakness he harbors is perhaps one of his more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it steadfast, to fondle the demon that devours him until it has eaten his heart away? He is terrorized and flattened by trivialities, and he had already endured and survived through hell and back, through suffocating trials and tribulations. Now? Hanzo Hasashi is once again fighting the white bloat, the mortality’s putrefaction, as he once again fights with all his might as his encased muscle over taut sinew fights with all that he harbors and beyond. In the throes of his near-death, he would ruminate to the point of delusions, fantasies, far-out ideas, racing thoughts, and flight of fancies. The lights would soon go out, and all the strenuously held strength and vigor would dissipate into thin air. The funereal pyre will disintegrate his being to become dust in the wind. And he would finally rejoin and embrace his beloved Harumi and Satoshi... 

Despite groaning and moaning in mantras of pain, the ichorous Earthrealm’s essence - Jinsei - would sustain him. The masked pyromancer would stand erect, lest be stained with copious bodily fluids and tangling viscera spilling out of his abdomen retracts to find its proper place, underneath the ribcage’s cavity. The genuine tremble, the visible shock, all the palpable expressions of death beneath the heavy veil would once again lift, as tenacious radiant moons will sharply stare and penetrate. The black ash circle, the maelstrom of his purified hellfire would swirl down in-between the realms’ boundaries. The fuming smoke the reminder of his limited quasi-immortality, but his eyes are no longer adulterated and obfuscated by suffocating darkness, lest it flows with magnificent, magnanimous fire. 

Beneath the steeled, armored hardness of his ramrod composure, there resides all the tender whispers and stories, as candor saturation of his eyes speak more than the revealed stories of his heart and soul. The erect architecture of his being remains at ease, a carried sunshine manifested; his rumbling laugh still as the azure flower dotting the meadow as the cool ambiance soon gives away to the emanating surge of his embers. His scars may be akin to the improperly paint job, but soon, once wrecked havoc of his being will promise the grandeur of promised life beneath the congregation of his undying masses and atoms. For Scorpion will always be a little more than a negligible molecular structure. Someone who would challenge fate and emerge into an existence, that was fully meant for him as he would become the anointed wielder. 

“Reality in place of fantasy, realism in place of idealism. The quixotic dreamer in me will still exist, but I no longer wish to thrive in darkness and nonexistence, for no thorns and thistles of life had pierced through the once delusions with the passing of time,” for fundamental liberties constitute that for him to live forever, imbued with life amidst deathly destructive nature of fire. “No longer, my soul will be so easily superseded by strife - for fire dwelling in my heart will be the fundamental strength that remains enshrined, along with the throes of passion that comes with our encapsulating love.” And with a certifiable promise of certainty, Hanzo reciprocates the leaning weight of her lips, warm and liberating, as tension unfurls, eliciting ichorous moisture as he delves deeper and deeper. ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 || 

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

August 24, 2021

“SITUATION NORMAL: ALL F***ED UP”

Merriam-Webster: Snafu — situation marked by errors or confusion. That's the polite way to define the old Army slang that encapsulates the challenges of waging war. Or in the case of U.S. involvement in Afghanistan, waging peace. Right. So, OK, how did Biden screw up our exit so thoroughly? Consider this: Trump made a deal with the Taliban — but strangely not the Afghan government — to pull out all troops by May 1, 2021. Mission Impossible. Then there is this: As of last month, U.S. intelligence and military brass were saying Afghan forces could hold off the Taliban for months or even years. Well, that's tough cookies for Biden because now he owns the historic snafu of death and misery that will follow him to the grave. But the trove of government documents obtained recently by Craig Whitlock and The Washington Post — a.k.a. The Afghanistan Papers — reveals that from the get-go U.S. leaders were fooling us and themselves about the chaos and corruption they suborned in what they knew was an unwinnable campaign. Neither Bush, nor Obama dared pull the plug for fear they'd be branded by failure. So hang it on Biden — the Republicans certainly will — but the fact is, he had no more than a supporting role in this Shakespearean tragedy.

POOF! — WHERE ARE ALL THE CLIMATE DENIERS ?

OK, where are they? Hey climate change deniers, come out, come out wherever you are. The Hoax Is Over! Ever wonder why average working people would go nuts every time someone said, “Global Warming?” And every winter when a snow storm blew through they'd say cute things, like, “The global warming is stacking up on my driveway.” Others — who aren't Republicans — would counter with facts, like, “The Greenland ice sheet is melting and the glaciers in the Andes aren't there any more.” But Deniers respond with:“The Earth is always changing and it has nothing to do with Exxon, my gas-guzzler and farting cows.” But now — strangely — they've gone quiet. Wonder if pictures of burned up towns in California and Oregon got their tongue. Republican Sen. James Inhofe, who once threw a snowball on the Senate floor to show the planet is not warming, said last month he never called climate change a “hoax.” Still, a Pew Research Center survey in May found that only 10 percent of Republicans and right-leaning independents were concerned with climate change. Maybe they could be convinced by more droughts, 117-degree summers and deadly flash floods and hurricanes — if they aren't killed first by that other hoax, the pandemic.

CHRIS STEWART: PATRIOTISM, SANCTITY AND OTHER B.S.

Our devoted Congressman Chris Stewart has taken a stand — what he claims is not a popular one — he's standing up for the good ol' USA because too many people choose ideology over country. (We are not making this up.) Yep, against all odds he's coming out for patriotism: “I want to defend a radical idea. An idea that is increasingly unpopular — mocked and sneered at by some: The United States of America is good.” Wilson and the guys in the band feel better already. They particularly like this statement: “Choosing an ideological group over our country is tribalism.” Good ol' Chris Stewart, always trying to bring the country together. Oops, there is this one tiny, little matter — he says Joe Biden didn't won the election. “After serious thought and consideration, I will not vote to certify the election,” he said. “I am safeguarding the sanctity of each vote.” Nothing like a little sanctity. No, Stewart was not dissing the Jan. 6 rioters but people who want equality  — like Black people who are tired of being killed. “The current popular condemnations are neo-Marxist,” he said, “in that they portray societal and individual struggles through a tribal dichotomy of winners and victims.” And as everyone knows, Black Americans have never been victimized.

Post script — Well that does it for another week here at Smart Bomb's tour of Dante's Inferno. The Delta Variant got pushed off the front pages for a few days thanks to our gracious exit from Afghanistan. (There is another chapter to be written there by the Afghan people, say Smart Bomb's sources.) Breakthrough infections are becoming more common as Delta wreaks havoc across the country. At Delta Airlines, they prefer passengers refer to the Corona Virus as the “variant.” But whatever you do when you're on a Delta flight, do not, repeat, do not order a Corona beer! And one more caution: Don't put your head up the flight attendant's skirt. Long story, but it actually happened. The passenger was fined $9,000 — but that was for not wearing a mask. And since we're on Covid, let's pause for a moment and doff our caps to Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall for mandating masks in Salt Lake City schools despite the Legislature and Salt Lake County Commission that believe in your freedom to spread the virus. And finally this: After a rash of calls from poison centers, the FDA is advising vaccine critics not to use horse paste with ivermectin to fight Covid. “You are not a horse. You are not a cow,” the agency tweeted, “Seriously, y’all. Stop it.”

Well, Wilson, after a hard week some of the staff are considering the band's maxim: “When the going gets tough the tough get drinking.” It's not exactly rational, but it's better than horse paste. So anyway, tell the guys we need a tune to help us gird our loins...

Sun's up... looks okay The world survives into another day And I'm thinking 'bout eternity Some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me I had another dream about lions at the door They weren't half as frightening as they were before But I'm thinking 'bout eternity Some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me

And I'm wondering where the lions are I'm wondering where the lions are Wondering where the lions are

Young men marching, helmets shining in the sun Polished and precise like the brain behind the gun Should be, they got me thinking about eternity But some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me And I'm wondering where the lions are I'm wondering where the lions areWondering where the lions are And I'm wondering where the lions are... (Wondering Where The Lions Are — Bruce Cockburn)

[amanktreks]

Solang Paragliding: Who Cares About Limits?

Solang Valley – a paradise where the mountains meet the sky, where snowflakes dance with the wind, and where thrill-seekers find their ultimate adventure. Solang Valley altitude of 2,560 meters, is a magical gateway to some of the most exhilarating activities one can experience in the Himalayas.

The Magic of Solang Valley

Nestled between the Solang village and Beas Kund, this snow-clad nirvana is often referred to as the ‘snow point’ of Himachal Pradesh. Whether you are a lover of snow or a thrill-seeker at heart, Solang Valley promises to leave you mesmerized. The valley is not just about breathtaking views of glaciers and snow-capped peaks; it’s a hub of adventure sports that will make your heart race.

Taking Flight: Paragliding in Solang

Imagine soaring like a bird, the world below shrinking as you rise above the peaks. Paragliding in Solang Valley offers an experience like no other. The adrenaline rush as you take off, the wind whistling past, and the panoramic views of the majestic Himalayas are simply unparalleled. As you glide through the air, you’ll feel a sense of liberation that can only be described as magical.

The Solang paragliding cost is around ₹4,499 per person, which includes safety gear, a certified pilot, and breathtaking views. The flight lasts between 2 to 5 minutes, but those fleeting moments will stay etched in your memory forever.

More Than Just Paragliding

Solang Valley is a treasure trove of adventure. From skiing on the snow-covered slopes to zorbing and ATV rides, there’s something for everyone. The Solang Valley activities are perfect for families, friends, and even solo adventurers looking for some fun. Each activity comes with its own thrill, and exploring them all is like unwrapping gifts one by one.

When considering the Solang Valley activities cost, it’s a small price to pay for the memories and experiences that await. Whether it's riding the snow on a snowboard or zipping through the valley on a snow scooter, the valley promises an adventure worth every penny.

The Unforgettable Solang Experience

The charm of Solang lies not just in its activities but in the serene ambience it offers. The crisp mountain air, the sun casting golden hues on the snow, and the distant sound of laughter and joy create an atmosphere that is both tranquil and invigorating.

With a plethora of Solang Valley activities to choose from, boredom is not an option. As you indulge in these adventures, every moment in Solang Valley will feel like a celebration of life itself.

Practical Tips for Your Solang Adventure

To make the most of your time in Solang, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Wear Comfortable Clothing: Long trousers and sports shoes are a must.

Carry Essentials: Sunscreen, sunglasses, and a camera to capture those stunning moments.

Health Precautions: The activity is not recommended for those with serious medical conditions or pregnant women. Also, avoid heavy food or alcohol before the activity.

Safety First: The weather can be unpredictable, so activities may be cancelled if conditions are not suitable.

Conclusion: Answering the Call of the Mountains

So, who cares about limits when you’re in Solang Valley? Whether it’s soaring high during Solang paragliding or carving your way through the snow, the valley beckons you to push boundaries and embrace the thrill. Solang is not just a place; it’s a feeling, a call to adventure that every heart should answer at least once. Pack your bags, let your spirit take flight, and get ready to be spellbound by the magic of Solang!

[kootenaygoon]

So,

It felt like the forest was holding its breath. 

It was an early Saturday afternoon, and I’d driven out to where hundreds of search and rescue volunteers had combed the Crawford Bay woods looking for a missing school teacher named Alvin Dunic. As I stepped over a half-rotted log, surrounded by god-like trees the size of skyscrapers, my surroundings conjured up visions of the Hundred Acre Wood. It felt like at any moment we could run into Piglet or Tigger or Eeyore. The forest floor was spongy and thick with life beneath my feet, and I could feel the subtle breath of the purple magic that had been permeating my dreams.

I’d only met Alvin once, while walking Muppet and Buster on the train tracks near Chahko Mika Mall in Nelson. He was with his wife, who I knew from elsewhere. It was right around the time of Trump’s election, and he had insights into what happened that hadn’t occurred to me before. While I’d taken the whole debacle as a sign the American populace was bigoted and crazy, he pointed out that the cultural shift was actually made possible by the elitism of the left. The Democrats had lost sight of Middle America, of the working class, and that was exactly who Trump reached. Alvin had a quiet wisdom about him, the sort of smug know-it-all demeanour that so many teachers adopt after years of standing in front of classrooms. His handshake was intense.

When I chose to visit the place where Alvin had gone missing two months earlier I decided to bring Ryan Tapp along so I wouldn’t be alone. Now he was thirty feet ahead of me, whistling the tune to “Zombie” by the Cranberries as we padded deeper into the foliage. He had his grey shotgun slung playfully over his shoulder. The forest sighed with pleasure.

“Doesn’t this kind of remind you of Winnie the Pooh? Like we should be on the look-out for heffalumps and woozles?” I shouted at Ryan, trying to convince him to slow down. I didn’t want us to get lost like Alvin.

“I always thought it was weird how they didn’t really have a gender. Except for Roo and Kanga, they’re all androgynous.”

“What difference does that make?”

“It’s just unusual, when you think about it. Most people think Pooh is male, but what gender is Rabbit?”

I thought about that as I climbed over a fallen tree, the moss sloughing off in my hand to expose a sunburst of scurrying ants. It was propped against another tree, which was leaning precariously as well, so I scrambled as quick as I could to make sure I didn’t dislodge it. There were no paths here, or at least none that I’d seen. This was the definition of bush-whacking.

“We can’t be in the right place,” I said. “He was planning to do a field trip here, he was going to bring a whole class of students. This is way too treacherous.”

“Maybe there’s a path and we missed it?”

I was getting nervous. “I’m really terrible with directions, man. Can you make sure you know which way we came from? The last thing we want is to trigger our own search. That would be the worst case scenario.”

Ryan shook his head. “No, Will. You know what the real worst case scenario would be.”

While writing stories about Alvin for the Star, I’d been primarily quoting the search and rescue commander Chris Armstrong. He had a gruff, no-nonsense demeanour and took his job very seriously. I got the feeling he’d been in the military at some point, maybe. As the search came to a close, I thanked him for making our newspaper a priority. His organization had a mandate to cooperate with local media first, and he was a true professional. Then I found out that he had been hired to be in charge of safety at Shambhala, and would be the point-person running the evacuation if there was a forest fire. I was pleased to have such a well-placed contact.

“It’s hard to imagine a forest like this catching on fire. Everything is so wet,” I said, wiping condensation off my face. “I mean, I’m getting drenched here.”

Ryan laughed. “When the fire comes, that’s not going to save you.”

“Ed has been riding my ass about this forest fire thing. And even though I’ve interviewed all the experts and heard about all the safety protocols in place, I’m telling you — if a fire came to Nelson, it would be bloody fucking chaos. There’s only two roads out of town, and 10,000 people to evacuate.”

“You’re lucky to have him as an editor, eh? He’s really pushing you, not letting you slack off.”

I shrugged. “Most of the time it feels like he’s trying to crash my kite. He takes my prose, when it’s beautiful and unique, and makes it mundane. Like for this youth centre story I wanted to use the word ‘jettison’, like the youth centre was ‘jettisoning’ their staff and he changed it to say they ‘moved on to other jobs’.”

“Man, that’s what editors do. You need to get better at receiving feedback. That’s your problem. You always think you’re the smartest guy in the room. But you’re not.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m serious, man. You’ve got two older, more experienced journalists in your newsroom but you strut around like you’re cock of the walk. Too much confidence is unattractive, man. You’ve got to stay humble.”

I laughed, then broke out into song. “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way!”

Ryan joined in. “I can’t stand to look in the mirror, I get better looking each day!”

By this point we were nearing Crawford Creek, and I could hear its low hiss. It sounded like a snake, lackadaisical and confident in its next kill. My jeans were soaked up to the knees, and there were scratches on my face and hands. This expedition had become more arduous than I had planned. I just wanted to understand what Alvin had seen last, wanted to feel what he did during his final moments. Though his wife and others were still clinging to the chance he was alive somewhere, Armstrong was nearly certain that Alvin had gone into the water. The run-off was still high, so it would’ve been powerful enough to sweep him downstream. The search parties had scoured the entire forest, now the river was the last place to look. 

Ryan and I broke out into a riverside clearing, the moss sparkling with dew and the sunlight glaring down white and ethereal. On the opposite bank a mother deer was taking tentative sips from the stream with her fawn. It was the sort of scene you could paint on the wall of a hospital’s pediatric wing to soothe the children. Ryan clambered down and cupped some water with one hand, bringing it to his mouth. It cascaded down his chin.

“Holy shit, this water’s delicious. Tastes like its fresh from the glacier. You want some? You gotta try it.”

“You’re going to get beaver fever, man.”

“I’m serious, come taste it. This is some of the freshest water in the Kootenays.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to get too close. I was surveying the scene before me, noting the slimed green boulders jutting from the middle of the stream and the tangled log-jams on either side of me. It was shallow here, maybe waist-high, but it got deeper and blacker further along. We were in the middle of a long crescent which ended up in a sharp right turn. The water was pristine, with rainbow colours dancing prismatic on its surface. 

It didn’t seem menacing.

Standing there reminded me of all the whitewater rafting I’d done in my younger years. Ever since I was a teenager I’d dreamed about doing guide training school and becoming certified. I wanted to man the oars at the back, taking customers screaming through rapids, all buff and suntanned. I conjured memories of floating free in the Thompson, secure in my wetsuit and lifejacket, comfortable as a wide brown swath took me floating past derelict railway infrastructure. Then there was the Nuhatlatch, which was deep in the woods and reminded me of Jurassic Park. I’d seen rafts flipped there, or wrapped around rocks, and more than once I had to swim through crazy sections with my feet in front of me and my arms out like I was being crucified. I used my water shoes to deflect off obstacles, but more than once I got turned around. I took direct hits to my helmet that made my ears bang and sing like church bells.

“He had kids, you know,” I said. “This guy Alvin.”

“Who, the guy that drowned?”

“Yeah, he had daughters. I met one of them at Elephant Mountain during her art show. They’re still young, little teenagers. They need him.”

“Can you imagine if it was all a hoax? If he just ran off for some reason? Like maybe he’s in trouble with the law or something and just decided to lam it?”

I shook my head. “Not this guy. No way. This guy loved his family, his community. He loved being a teacher. He wasn’t checking out on purpose, there’s no way. This was all a mistake.”

Lately I’d been pondering the nature of my mind, wondering if I was truly capable of traveling forward and backwards in time. These visions I had haunted me, especially when they came true. I took out a joint and lit it, drawing the smoke deep into my lungs before exhaling. It was Natalya who first sensed it, first asked me about my purple dreams. Her eyes danced with inspiration as I told her about the spirits that visited me, my imaginary friends, and all the times I seemed to know about things before they happened. It had been going on since 2005, when I had a prescient dream the night before my youth pastor was arrested in Tijuana, Mexico. That morning I’d woken up crying, pleading to God, whispering: “please, please, please.”

Natalya bounced with excitement. “I knew there was something special about you, from as soon as I met you at Power by You. It was that racism article. You had this crazy ability to plug right into other people’s feelings, perceptions.”

“Well, that’s called listening,” I said.

She shook her head, and smiled like I was a silly toddler who couldn’t grasp what she was getting at. “I think you’re clairvoyant, or maybe clairsentient. That means you can see things before they happen, you have this special empathy with total strangers.”

I shook my head. “I don’t believe in that shit.”

But now I wondered. Whatever her faults, Natalya did seem to have a supernatural perception. She’d guessed things about me I never told her, and had insights into my life she couldn’t have gleaned from anywhere normal. There was some sort of energy binding us together, whether I liked it or not, and I worried our break-up would be violent. I watched the river flow by me, like a never-ending magic carpet, and wondered what this all meant. When I turned my back on Christianity as a teenager I left my capacity for wonder behind, but maybe the universe had other plans. I let my gaze wander up into the trees until I spotted a proud-looking osprey perched on a naked branch. She seemed like she was waiting for something to happen. Or like she was guiding me somewhere.

“Ryan, look! It’s Nel, the osprey I wrote about for the paper,” I said, reaching for my camera bag. “The one I put on the front cover.”

He glanced up, confused. “Where?”

I ran along the bank, pulling my camera out of its bag, desperate to get photographic evidence of her return. They’d told me back in 2014 that she had a tracking tag, but it would probably be years before she returned from her trip south. Why had she chosen this moment, of all moments, to appear to me? I couldn’t believe it.

Then my ankle rolled, and a small patch of grassy riverbank gave way under my left foot. My chest hit the ground with a wet thunk, while my camera smashed into my chin and crunched. I blinked for a moment, winded, as my body surfed the chunk of riverbank down to the shore. Ryan stood, alarmed, but couldn’t reach me before I log-rolled into the water and submerged. It was definitely glacier temperature because it sucked out all of my air in shock. My leg hit something sharp underwater and the pain rocketed through my entire body. This was such an ironic turn of events, I thought. I’d been a lifeguard for over ten years and now I was about to drown.

My camera was still tangled around my left arm as I turned on to my belly. Ryan was running along the riverbank shouting, but all I could hear was the slosh and churn of water all around me. A large sweeper was approaching, its skeletal fingers reaching down past the water’s surface, and I kicked feebly at the branches as I crashed through them. All those years of competitive swimming hadn’t prepared me for this. 

��Will, grab this!” Ryan shouted from behind me. I twirled in the current and saw him on a rocky outcropping, reaching down with a severed branch. “Grab on!”

With one hand I got ahold of the branch and for one terrifying moment I thought I was going to pull Ryan in with me. He collapsed to his chest, so that he was laying belly-down on a cleft about four or five feet above me. Already the shoreline was starting to crumble, and I didn’t know how long I could hold on. I coughed and spat, whipping my hair out of my face and trying to pull myself up out of the water. My leg was dangling useless behind me, and I could see a steady stream of blood issuing from my shin. This stupid goddamn body. Why had God made us all so fragile?

I looked up at Ryan, his face pink from the strain, and our eyes locked. He knew just as well as I did that I couldn’t hold on much longer, and neither could he. We both looked downstream to where a deadly-looking logjam had choked off a chunk of the river. The current was speeding directly towards it. A feeling of calm washed over me as I realized that this was it, my fate. I’d been on this planet for 33 years, just like Jesus, and now it was time to achieve ascension. This was all pre-planned, I realized, now I just needed to do my part. I felt my body go slack with acceptance. I looked up into Ryan’s eyes, which were full of fear, and then he understood too. He clenched his jaw and shook his head, not wanting to believe it. Why would the universe choose me of all people for this meaningless sacrifice?

“Listen, man,” he said, as my grip began to go. “I’ll meet you on the other side, okay? You’re not alone. I promise this will make sense when you see me next.”

And with that he released the branch. I rolled on to my back gasping and saw Nel flying across the white sky above me. She was circling, and her wings made her look like a guardian angel. Tears flooded into my eyes as I realized there had always been a higher power all this time, watching over me. Religion had failed me, and so had science, but imagination had become my salvation. My shoulder blade clipped a rock as I squeezed my eyes shut and began to pray. I knew I would only have a moment to give thanks.

When I first hit the log-jam, it kept me at the surface for a moment as I tried to catch my breath. My breath came out in laboured wheezes. The logs were slimy and sharp, nearly black. The current tugged at my feet, one boot on and the other lost to the river. This was all so senseless, so unfair. I wanted to fight but I knew that I couldn’t. I was over-matched. I felt a mighty yank and then I was underneath the log-jam, my face bashing against the tangled underbelly. Water forced itself into my throat, surging down inside of me, until my consciousness began to haze. With one fist I punched uselessly against my killer, despondent, until a new vision appeared before me: my family, all ready to pose for a portrait, smiling benevolently in my direction. I screamed and clawed, hoping to break through the fabric of reality that separated us, but it was no use. They faded into blackness and I was left alone, underwater, surrounded by the pulsing purple magic of it all.

When I opened my eyes next, I was laying on the leather couch at Brendan’s house with Roxy between my legs. It was a gorgeous afternoon and I could see families lining up for Dairy Queen. I blinked away the strange dream and went looking for my phone, which had been buzzing. I found it on the floor and clicked it on, blinking away unconsciousness. On my home screen there was a single text message from Chris Armstrong.

We found Alvin, he wrote. Call me. 

The Kootenay Goon

[citygirlinme]

Camper New Zealand

The journey to the shimmering turquoise Lake Tekapo takes you through untouched nature. The seasons in New Zealand are opposite to ours, which means that New Zealand's midsummer is in our winter months.

Travel Info New new zealand motorhome Zealand

All of our campervans are independently certified for freedom camping. I can only recommend Britz as a provider in New Zealand. The camper handover went smoothly. And our RV in New Zealand was just great too. The most central RV campground in Christchurch is the North South Holiday Park. It is located in close proximity to Christchurch Airport and is wonderfully naturally kept by the many trees on the site that provide shade. Arrive, plug in your vehicle and jump into the pool to cool off, for $ 38 a night you can settle here with great comfort. The place is described as dog-friendly, you can find precise details on how far the rule applies and in which facilities there are restrictions on taking dogs on the website of the campsite. Simply enter the desired departure date and you will receive the vehicle selection for the selected travel route. Explore New Zealand's breathtaking natural landscape at your own pace and in complete freedom. The North and South Island offer adventurous activities. Whether a boat trip through the picturesque Milford Sound fjord, breathtaking waterfalls, thermal springs, snow-capped mountain peaks or active volcanoes, there are countless opportunities for adventures.

Then you are right at WorldWide Campers!

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The big advantage compared to The New Zealand campers without shower and toilet is that they have the Freedom Camping certificate.

We spent a few days in the seclusion of New Zealand with the motorhome and enjoyed nature, but then we were also very centrally located Queenstown move into a campsite and use the short distances.

Wild camping in New Zealand is inexpensive on the one hand, and on the other hand you can get to indescribably beautiful places such as here right on the water. Please take a moment and download everything worth knowing about maui; You can get information about our motorhomes and rental cars, questions and answers (FAQ), insurance, extra accessories for rent and more by clicking on the links below. In summer, the city tends to be dry and temperatures between 25 and 35 degrees Celsius. In winter, the degrees can drop almost to zero, although snow is rather rare at low altitudes and usually does not stay longer than a day or two.

To choose your New Zealand camper you need to know how many people will be traveling. This is a key criterion when choosing a camper in New Zealand.

RV rentals in other cities

Here you will find brochures, about DOC campsites in individual regions and their equipment. You can also take them with you free of charge in the visitor centers. If you have determined the basic things like number of people, travel route and desired equipment of the campervan or camper in New Zealand, you can then take a closer look at the different types of New Zealand campers. In New Zealand there are campervans (which you can rent with or without a toilet) and mobile homes that always have a shower and toilet on board. If you have 4 or more weeks, the translation to the other island is also worthwhile.

Diverse landscapes, high mountains with countless hiking trails, lakes, wine-growing areas and interesting cities. The landscape of the South Island is as varied as few regions in the world. Gold-colored beaches, turquoise blue sea, fjord landscapes, glaciers, natural islands. Since we have already gained some experience with campers in New Zealand, many questions are asked about the topic. We are very happy about it (please keep asking!) And so that you also get some of it, we have written down the questions and our answers for you here.