#censored peen but still peen

[kazik-bitch-ass-motherfucker]

Summ chaos from Hayden's stream last night @-@

[rubyjones]

Tumblr is less of a prude than Smashwords

Today, I am really rather miffed.

After being berated by people on Mastodon for not having Ruinous Attraction available anywhere but Amazon, I finally found the spoons to upload it to Draft2Digital this week, so it can be published by Smashwords. You know, the people who publish my tentacle erotica that Amazon banned.

Well, guess what? Smashwords will not have it!

I expected to only be able to sell to a limited number of venues because Ruinous Attraction is dubcon. Like, both characters enthusiastically consent before the enchantment takes full effect, and they don't regret their decision, but there is an enchantment; so, as a conscientious author, I flagged the work as dubcon and included a content note.

Too Hot to Handle is more dubious than Ruinous Attraction, and that went through fine to Smashwords, Apple, and Amazon. I'm also expecting it to be approved by Kobo, but that's still publishing.

So I assume the issue is the cover, which was also flagged.

This is the cover:

Admittedly, those two dudes are naked, and they're cuddling, but they're not having sex and you can't see any peens. This is an artistic nude.

Dutifully, I spent all day yesterday revising the cover. I don't think it's as good, but it's OK and I think it should sufficiently obscure enough vaguely naughty bits to pass muster.

I submitted it to D2D again today and... they won't let me progress it to be resubmitted to Smashwords. It's just labelled as 'blocked'.

I don't get it. Why tell me what's wrong and let me submit a new cover if you won't even fucking reconsider?

Suffice to say that I have sent them a polite email and asked for manual review. I even offered to completely obscure the figures and just have fucking runes.

I assume this is just computers being silly, but I'm hacked off.

I'm hacked off with all of it. People should be able to sell smutty literature. People should be able to sell smutty art. Artistic nudes should not be censored just because a computer detects a butt.

The current state of the world is UTTERLY RIDICULOUS and I hate it.

Anyway, if you'd like to purchase the uncensored version, it's available from Amazon

Or buy the print from my Redbubble shop (RB agree it's an artistic nude!)

I did not have the spoons for all this.

[flutter-love]

Some silly Franktru doodles inspired by not canon lore (Franktruder belongs to @matchingstripsocks)

The first one was Franktru has a FAT FCUKKIN ASS and I HC this is actually canon of all Franks! 🤓 He uses it when his hands are full to carry stuff and surprises!

These two are regarding Franktru peen lore (/u\) first one in response to him allegedly having a micropeen to balance out the size of his arse/having no peen at all due to an unfortunate ripping incident w *checks notes* Ignacio’s husband?

Flutter would refute this utter SLANDER!

Idk if she magicked in there or shot up the man’s trouser leg.

She would still love him if his donger was actually lost in a tragic accident tho ✨CENSORED VERSION✨ even tho it’s a tiny detached cartoon peen in a completely non sexual context bc ik tumblr is v e r y SFW

This is a lot more talking about Frank peen that I ever planned to do on main. I’m gonna go back to focusing on his beautiful face and bubble butt now ok?!?

[themightycaolf1]

Even though I saw someone make a post where a lady literally butt naked sucked a peen up on a strip stage. I'm still not gonna risk nudity so here, censored bug goirl.

[crazywolf828]

.

[undergrounddweller89]

Still not sure how the more 'adult' art system works on here so I censored the ghadius peen design.

Yeah I ship future klonoa and Ghadius, if you don't like that just scroll on by.

Ghadius CEo of Nightmares goes into coffee shop, and klonoa is like Huepow lemme serve this onnnneee pllzzzzz

He's like fine

And klonoa be like

Hot and fresh or cool and refreshing I'm here to service you today , what's your order and name tall dark and brooding

.

Ghadius doesn't answer with much, just makes his order and gives his name

Goes off then to sit with his to go cup

Only to be swallowing a mouthful he chokes on it as he reads the word Daddyius

.

He goes back to the counter

And tells him he wants a refill in the same Cup but that he needs to check it to see if anythings wrong.

Klonoa finds ghadius's number and has that cartoon shit eating grin, looks over at Ghadius then back at the cup as he scrawls his own digits down and makes him that refil drink

.

Comes back and smiles

"This one's on me Daddyius."

"That's not how...oh..."

He blushes , nods and understands

"I see, then you'd better be a good boy or-"

"Sir you two are in public in my coffee shop , save it for after hours."

Huepow frowns and Ghadius is nearly dragged out by his assistant

[fullpurpart]

Bc of tumblr shenanigans and my own laziness in remaking an entirely separate account I can only send this from my blurred blog. Anyways 2 things!

1) Love your art! I saw it in passing one day on here but I’ve been a fan of a lot more of it when I’ve seen it in other places 😅😅

2) Mature community label can sometimes handle soft peen and sometimes hard? It’s funky there, but lady nips are now available after the last patch and bulges are also fairly fine. Full sex will still be flagged.

Technically there is a workaround where you post something nsfw and then IMMEDIATELY reblog it to yourself (or from a spin-off account whatever) and then if tumblr flags it you edit the original and change the picture or something, just don’t delete it. The reblog stays the same even if the original has changed. It’s been reliable for me putting out nsfw images I just wish I’d found it out before they got me.

Anyways glad to see ya over here, hope you’re enjoying yourself and all that 😁

Much thanks and good to know! Yeah, I don't particularly plan on pushing the envelope too much, partly because I don't wanna start trouble with tumblr but also because i'm not sure how much tumblr users themselves wanna see that-- still, I'm considering maybe a censor-bar or crop to some pieces here and there, and I'll always include my link tree up top to sites where you can see everything in full. If that drags traffic off of tumblr then i guess that's just tumblr's problem!

Scary times but furry porn will find a way, one way or another.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

transcription of first few minutes of liveshow including the first attempt.

[P] Still says I’m still connecting. (Dan gasps) Daniel.

[D] What? It says “connecting”. Give it a minute.

[P] Okay. It’s funny that we’re sat in the same room and we’re connecting to each other.

[D] Such is technology.

[P] Yeah.

[D] This isn’t happening yet! (Phil laughs) Stop listening! It hasn’t started!

[P] Stop listening!

[D] Okay, we have to be boring until it works.

[P] Okay. (Dan starts whistling) Maybe they can hear us and it’s just on our phone, let me just see. Let me know if you can hear us.

[D] I just got your call again.

[P] Okay,did you answer?

[D] Uh, “live talking with amazingphil”.

[P] “Connecting”.

[D] What’s going on?

[P] I dunno.

[D] Should I end it?

[P] Yeah, let’s try ending it and start again.

[P] Hello! So, we are live on Stereo, and I am here—

[D] Wait, can you hear me, Phil?

[P] I can hear you!

[D] (singing) Ohhh my god it’s happeniiiing!

[P] We’re connected!

[D] Wait, we need to do this for the video!

[P] Okay! So… (laughing)

[D] I’M HIDING!

[P] ...this is totally the first time this happened!

[D] 3, 2, 1, immersion!

[P] Immersion!

[D] The show begins…

[P] ...now…

[D] ...now.

[P] We are live on Stereo, and he’s here! He’s alive! (Dan laughs) It’s my very special guest! It’s Dan!

[D] Hi! You missed the “here, queer, existential fear” thing.

[P] Aw, I should have gone with that!

[D] You said I’m alive as if that’s a surprise.

[P] It might be a surprise! Some people might not have seen your face; they might think you're like half Dan half robot, like “What happened?”

[D] Am I alive?

[P] I don’t know!

[D] That’s the real question. Was I ever alive? Maybe this whole time I’ve just been a figment of Phil’s imagination (Phil gasps) and this is actually quite a sad story.

[P] Don't say that!

[D] On that note, hi, it’s a pleasure to be back! Thanks for having me, buddy!

[P] Yeah, and hey to everyone that’s joining us on Stereo right now! Welcome to the show!

[D] Welcome to the shizzle!

[P] It’s good to see your little faces popping up! Lots of bubbles!

[D] Not only are we saying “hi” to a camera right now, but we’re saying “hi” to a phone.

[P] We are! We’ve got a whole shenanigan happening right now.

[D] Which is why we’re wearing earbuds right now. We’re not being rude.

[P] This is what cool people do—they just wear an earbud at all times. Check that? Copy?

[D] Cool people.

[P] I just wanna give a Content Warning for Dan, because, you know, his mouth is filled with soil.

[D] How-? Okay. (Phil laughs) I think that’s fair enough.

[P] It is!

[D] I mean, on YouTube I’m guessing you’ll censor this with quacks and stuff…

[P] Yeah.

[D] …but, I mean, god knows what I’m gonna say.

[P] Do you wanna just get your first swear out of the way, just so we’re prepared?

[D] (straining groan) Uhhhhh, penis.

[P] Okay. That’s fine.

[D] Don’t know why I, like, squeezed before I…

[P] You’re allowed to say “penis”! That’s fine! I don’t quack a penis! (laughs)

[D] Penis squeezing, squeeze that peen-tilage. What?

[P] No!

[D] What? Okay.

[P] What are you saying?

[D] That was a weird tangent, okay…

[P] Hey, we’ve got a message on Stereo welcoming you—

[D] Why are you warning me about? You are the random topic guy! (Phil laughs) This is known! This is known!

[P] Look—

[D] Like, I know I have colourful use of the English language, but you’re the person that I can’t trust live on the radio, so…

[P] Well it’s happening right now, laddy!

[D] I’m scared, and so you should be.

[P] This is our—our first message came through.

[Audio Message] Yaaaaaay, we can finally hear you!

i’ll keep adding stuff as i transcribe. bc i also can’t understand shit (adhd and sensory processing disorder) it takes a while. nonetheless we gotta make the phandom accessible for each other yeah boiiiiiiiii

[definegodliness]

What about the monks?

Agony is the monk scratching the crusty white of his soiled robe with the untrimmed nail of his thumb. It's the only nail that can grow; the rest, bitten in frustration. He flicks the fluid turned flaky to the oaken floor and hisses:

"Why can't this system just delete all flagged posts automatically?"

Slowly, he wipes the pearls of sweat from his upper lip with that same thumb, solely to sniff the dark rimmed nail whilst it slides from left to right. The dusty church attic is dark, its only light source a laptop; the site's blue background bright enough to shed light on his earthen shame, however too dim to travel far enough to illuminate the crucifix above the door. The monk counts the darkness' blessings, pacing the pounding in his throat.

"These rotten terms of services and flawed community guidelines cannot save us from the devil when we allow his temptations to soil our fine retinas still."

Another assessment to make. The monk fumes at their objections, spitting out his frustration over the exceptions still made by his blog-site employer.

"Art, they call it, but it is filth! Products of degenerate minds."

Reluctantly, he okays them: Venus de Milo, Klimt's Judith, and Michelangelo's David. The latter making him cry out, cursing his eyes for their staring, fixated on marble man-flesh. Tonight, he shan't sleep out of fear that his dreams will once more be filled with the visions of flaccid peen. He scrolls down on his to-do list, weeping for the fate of this world. Hot tears trail down his righteous cheeks as he whimpers to the ceiling.

"Lord, why must the flesh be so weak?"

As always, there is no answer. The monk scrolls down further, past paintings, flowers, sand dunes, and sculptures; his throbbing cock oozing pre-cum, once more, so much it will leave stains, further crusting his already soiled robe. Then, right as he thinks he’ll make it, the Lord, in all His divine cruelty, sends him a final test: Frida Kahlo with her baps out.

An audible moan leaves the monk’s lips as hot blood surges through his veins in undulating waves of purest lust. He tries to hide his erection, yet it is this act of desperate touching that pushes him over the edge. He flops his eel-slippery penis out of his robe and gives in to a frantic tug, so violently that sharp pains battle the pleasure. It is the only way he may. Masturbation as an act of self-flagellation. And though he bites his lips shut hard, the ecstasy in the end wins. So the halls of the empty church resonate the euphorically moaned name: 

“Frida!”, spat out in bloody saliva. 

Tragic, the fall of the righteous. So, his fall. Back in his ergonomic office chair. Legs still shaking. Yet as his body is drained from the devil’s lust juices, the monk experiences a moment of clarity. The reality of his sin. Its consequences, dire, and now unavoidable. He gives in to a whimpering. First softly, but these whimpers soon turn to bawling. Loud and unremitting bawling. 

How he longs to escape the misery of his failure; shut down the laptop and forget everything, but as of yet he still has to fulfill his duty of green-lighting the post depicting Frida Kahlo with her baps out. 

Agony is the monk slathering his touch-pad with semen, unable to swiftly close the window still depicting his shame. 

'Art', they call it. But it is filth. See, nobody ever thinks of the monks, working in dusty church attics, saddled with the sin-provoking task of assessing wrongly flagged posts. Make no mistake, they all are monks. Solely puritans are hired. Just check the application form. It is clearly stated: ‘must have a ‘30s mentality’. Of course, by ‘30s mentality one should not think of the 1930s, but of the 1530s, when filth in ‘art’ was justly censored on during the glorious ‘fig leaf campaign’.

Those days where we plain simply chopped off marble penises, and indiscriminately censored this ‘art’; this loophole porn for the masses, surely is when humanity peaked, but we started slacking again. Ignorant to the aftermath of our posting desires.

Let’s have some sense, all right? Think of the monks before you post. Be it a flower. Or a sand dune. Or a selfie depicting skin. Do not feign ignorance now I’ve told you the truth. Have mercy! Have mercy when you dare share so-called ‘art’ with the world. Presenting anything remotely resembling nudity, and especially presenting these -- forgive me for writing the words -- ‘female nipples’ is causing monks all over the planet to masturbate in self-flagellation. Do you really want that to weigh on your conscience? Have some sympathy. Think of the robes. Let’s all work hard to keep them clean.

[blue-shaded]

Mark not only has that video up but I’m pretty sure there’s still Minecraft videos up of him saying the t-slur. He also talked about not knowing how offensive the word was on 3 peens in a pod, but he didn’t censor himself and just outright said the slur a couple of times. The clip is on Bob’s channel.

can you link it to me?

[trishart-oftlof]

Biggs 2020 revamp

Had to censor the peens cuz Tumblr still sucks.

[wilfcrd]

Oh wait i fogot i use to watch a body painting competition and they used to cover them with underwear so number one their peens dont get paint number two to cover them a bit better and they still censor it

—————————————

Bc you could still see everything lol

[shiptposting]

HElsa: Let It Go Filthily

This a parodic fanfic inspired by the Genderbent “A Most Reluctant Union” AU by @uptownpup. I just thought that: given that the HElsa ship has the most potential for playing with subjective themes, the Filthy Frank version of “Let It Go” would be a humorous base for a fanfic. Hence, this monstrosity.

Does this count as a songfic?

Rating: Unsafe for Kids Relationship/s: HElsa (Genderbent) Plot: Elliot stumbles upon his wife and sister-in-law’s singing about something he really doesn’t want to hear about.

____________________________________________

Elliot had been looking all over the castle for Hanne and Kristine. They said they would have a girl’s night but they didn’t say where. It was late at night and they needed to be settled for the night, to ready for the next day.

He heard the sound of a lute playing. A series of chords strummed slowly, creating what might be the start of a song. The Snow King followed the sound leading to a corner of the castle courtyard. He saw the two women he was looking for. They were clearly intoxicated with alcohol; evident with Hanne’s drowsy dancing to Kristine’s drowsy playing, and the cluttered bottles of wine around them. Elliot somehow found it adorable that they were happily keeping each other company like two drunken sailors.

Hanne started to sing.

The snow glows wide on the mountain tonight Not a footprint to be seen The kingdom of isolation And it looks like I’m the queen

Elliot found it endearing that his wife would sing something inspired by one of his songs. She had a beautiful voice too. He found himself smiling to the song.

His smile didn’t last.

His p*nis growing with a swirling storm inside Couldn’t keep it in, I just want Elliot’s c*ck inside

Just let him in, just let him see Let Elliot see my naked body with his erect peen Conceal and feel his magic carrot Let him enter my as*

Kristine screamed as if cheering for her companion’s ode of desires.

What was Elliot suppose to feel?

The Royal Ice Mistress started accompanying her in the chorus.

Let it go, let it go Let it go in my as* (Please, Elliot) Let it go, let it go Elliot, let it go. (In her as*) Eat my as*. (Elliot!) Eat my as*. (Elliot, f*ck her) Eat my as*, eat my as* Let his c*ck rage on (F*ck her, please) Let him penetrate me in any way

“Oh look, I’ve been impaled,” Olaf had apparently been nearby, getting impaled by a fallen tree branch.

Slam me against the furniture And then choke me, so I can’t scream Melt in my as* like ice cream Make a snow c*ck in my spleen I scream so loud, but the guards just ignore my cries Elliot impales me with his huge creamy as* surprise

Why in Hel did Hanne want him to do something that lurid to her during anal sex?! The image that the song was portraying is too unimaginable for the Arendelle royalty.

My ass is tight, his smile is wider Than my gaping as*hole looking him straight in the eye It hurts so much, I want to die But I do it for Elliot

Elliot had to stop this before he hears more.

Let it go, let it--

Elliot cleared his throat really loudly, to catch their attention. “Elliot, care to join us for a few drinks?” his wife asked, holding a mostly empty bottle of wine.

“I believe I must decline, we all should rest for the night.”

“Don’t you at least want to hear more of how I really want you to ravage my as* in bed?” Hanne pouted sultrily... drunkenly.

“N-- no... No!” Elliot stuttered as he grabbed his wife by the wrist dragging her to their room. “W-we are getting to bed and SLEEP.” The vulgar lyrics was still affecting him.

What Hanne could only do was whine (and moan, much to Elliot’s embarrassment), for she was far too drunk.

Kristine, left alone, fell forward with sleep taking over due to her far drunkenness.

The ladies would have splitting headaches the morning after.

____________________________________________

Author’s Note:

Ummmm... Yeah... Thanks for reading this far. The “censors” aren’t really for censor’s sake. It’s just there to be useless and ineffective (and funny???). The lyrics have been altered from the original parody to fit the setting and narrative context better.

‘Member, this fic should not be taken seriously.

Link to the Filthy Frank version of “Let It Go”, if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4HmlBRWRjQ