#causes of Tourette Syndrome

[todayworldnews2k21]

Understanding Tourette Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, And Management Tips

Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive, involuntary movements and vocalizations known as tics. It typically manifests in childhood, with symptoms often appearing between the ages of 5 and 10. The severity and type of tics can vary widely, ranging from mild to severe, but most cases are manageable with proper care and support. Symptoms of Tourette…

[visceraloves]

Does my love for robot characters come from the tourette's or possible autism...we may never know

[tis-tics]

Context: So I've been having tics for around 3 months now, and I've been going to several doctors in order to get an answer to why it's happening (still haven't gotten a concrete answer)

But may I ask what's up with people thinking it's a curse, possession , or ☆magic☆ related? Like, I thought that was something you'd go through in the Middle Ages, not NOW??

People (being my mom, her friends, and other random people) think I should go to some sort of spiritual cleansing, go to church, exorcism, etc.

Maybe it's just me being biased since I'm not religious or spiritual at all but, it makes me kind of sad that people think it's something like that and not something medical that's actually causing me problems :(

One argument people have used is it's the culture of the place I live in, but won't thinking that people who have tics are "possessed" or "cursed" be a harmful stereotype which prevents people from actually finding the problem? (Not including how society will probably stay away from them because of the stigma or cause they're spooked)

IDk has anyone else had to go through this? Am I overreacting? Or wrong? (Genuinely asking)

[tourettictrans]

we need to be more radical with accessibility. shit will not change if we're not. make your space accessible

[faggotfungus]

For Tourettes Awareness Month I've decided to go down on my medication dose and say fuck it... that's it, just "Fuck it"

[didderd]

adhd sans is such a relatable character, seeing as i have my own issues. i seriously struggle with stuff similar to his problems so it feels comforting knowing there's a skeleton just like me and a lot of other people

yes omg

i love Duck sm. projecting heavily onto this boi, especially with the comic.

fkn. sorry, i hope you don't mind me using your ask as an excuse to ramble abt my neurodivergent ass. you don't have to read this.

ramblings bordering on venting, but mostly jus cus i wanna talk abt my disorders more, but not in a venty way, but hhhh.. under read more:

ADHD is such a struggle, especially the executive dysfunctioning. ppl would assume that the Tourette's is the more crippling of the disorders i have, jus bc it's more physical and more like. known for being disabling(?) but at least in my case it's nothing compared to my ADHD symptoms.

the most my Tourette's does usually is bruise my wrist or make me have to stop what i'm doing (like literally just now stopping writing to snap my fingers and clap several times lmao hkgvhc) for a moment to tic.

but my executive dysfunction stops me from doing just about anything. chores, basic hygiene, important life shit, even eating and hydrating.

and my dissociating does the same thing as my tics, making me stop what i'm doing sometimes. or it'll make me have to like.. slow down and not able to look at what i'm doing while my vision is unfocused and i stare off into space or at whatever's directly in front of me lol.

the sensory problems also. sometimes i can't walk around in certain cloths bc the texture is too much. it feels like sand paper. (there's more i could say abt the sensory problems, but i need to stop rambling skdbvjsdvk)

anyways, yeah. so fkn grateful for adhd sans, bc now i have a character to pour all these problems into lmao.

[thatweirddolldude]

Unmovable object(Me, whos TS is acting up) vs unstoppable force (worker who's TS hasn't been affecting them today)

[camping-with-monsters]

Some shiny hunts are not meant for people with Tourettes and Cyclizar is one of them.

Anyways his name is TOUHOU cause this hunt is just like that

[dissociacrip]

anyway um. shoutout to disabled people who move their bodies in ways that are considered "wrong" or "abnormal" regardless of the cause or how it's classified. and this isn't limited to just ambulation.

paralysis. dystonia. gait abnormalities. people with muscle weakness and/or atrophy. people with brain damage. rotational differences. clubfoot. knocked knees. other limb and bodily differences. functional deformities that affect movement. tissue contracture. muscular dystrophies. spasticity. impaired proprioception, balance, and/or coordination. chronic pain. spinal disorders. dyspraxia/DCD. apraxia. ataxia. dystaxia. tourette's syndrome and other tic disorders. conversion symptoms. tremors. neurodegenerative disease. degenerative bone diseases. joint instability. myoclonus. parkinsonism. tardive dyskenisia. various other neurological problems.

...and the list goes on.

personally i feel a bit surreal when my body not doesn't always move in the ways i want it to because that straightforward connection that's there for abled people has been disrupted in a myriad of ways. but no one is gross, ugly, or scary for being unable to move their body in ways that society considers "normal" and "healthy." no one deserves to be gawked/stared at or treated like they're subhuman because of the way their body moves.

it's okay for us to exist.

[djcarnationsblog]

Decided I wanted to make fanart for @kaysdenofchaos 's TMMT Donnie, and then I just impulsively threw in my own og iteration Donnie cause I felt like drawing him too, and now y'all get this tiny mfer getting squished by an unexpected tic (my Donnie's got Tourette's Syndrome, oof-)

[starfishinthedistance]

This is your daily reminder that "neurodivergent traits" do not exist.

"Neurodivergent" is an extremely broad term that refers to anyone who has some kind of neurological and/or psychiatric condition that causes them to be significantly different from most of society. It's up to the person themselves whether they want to use that label based on their personal experience, but here's a (non-exhaustive) list of conditions that can be neurodivergent:

Autism spectrum disorder

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder

Dyslexia

Dyscalculia

Dysgraphia

Dyspraxia

Sensory processing disorder

Auditory processing disorder

Visual processing disorder

Various kinds of mutism

Language disorders

Tourette's Syndrome and other tic disorders

Functional neurological disorder

Aphantasia

Prosopagnosia

Synthesia

Conduct disorder

All personality disorders

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder

Fetal alcohol syndrome/fetal alcohol spectrum disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder and complex post-traumatic stress disorder

Dissociative identity disorder, OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b

Traumatic brain injury

I could go on.

For a "neurodivergent trait" to exist, it would have to apply to all of those, plus more conditions I forgot to include. Obviously not possible. The only actual "neurodivergent trait" would be "you have a neurological/psychiatric condition".

If you mean autistic and ADHD traits, say that. If you mean mood disorder traits, say that. Neurodivergent is such a broad term, you need to use accurate language to ensure you don't accidentally spread misinformation (which has happened multiple times with the term "neueodivergent traits".)

[cripplecharacters]

How to go about writing tics? I have tics but I never know how to write them naturally, especially cause I often forget I even have them. To me it's like describing blinking or something? But I of course want the character to notably have tics, even though my internal experience of tics isn't very noticeable to me? If that makes sense?

Hello!

Jerk, California by Jonathan Friesen is a book about a character (Sam) with Tourette's syndrome, written by an author who also has Tourette's. One of the things I really appreciated about the book was that it described Sam's tics in a way that made sense with how they felt as somebody with Tourette's.

In the book, Sam's tics are generally described when they're relevant. Usually, this is either to show that he's upset/otherwise worked up about something or as a way to build tension within the narrative itself. Although it doesn't necessarily mean that Sam isn't ticcing otherwise, it came across as the tics being more noticeable in those moments -- which I felt was a nice touch.

Consider the following passage from the book:

I glance around. My muscles don't jerk, and I close my eyes. I breathe deep, and like the third runner who finally catches up, the overtakes me. Slowly at first–a hard eyeblink. But that's not enough; there's more that has to work its way out, and my teeth grind. Movement spreads to my shoulder, and soon my whole body springs to twitchy life.

Even without the rest of the context of the scene, the description of his tics is enough to convey how he's feeling in the moment.

In the more mellow portions of the book, his tics aren't generally described at all, which helps it to feel more calm.

Another thing I liked it that they're described in the same way as any other action or movement.

This is another passage from the book:

The class groans, Heather swears, and my shoulder jumps. My elbow knocks my textbook to the floor with a thump.

Although the author doesn't explicitly say that Sam is ticcing, we as readers can get that idea from the way it's described. Essentially, this is to say that you don't need to explicitly specify when something is a tic or not – your audience will generally pick up on it.

With verbal tics (Especially ones that involve speech), it can be a bit harder. There's a kind of balance you want to strike between showing the tics and still making sure that the dialogue is readable.

While discussing verbal tics that occur outside of dialogue (i.e. Not interrupting the character's speech), I'd suggest marking the tic as such through dialogue tags. Words such as "blurted" or "exclaimed" can imply an unintentional aspect to the speech.

You could also describe how the character is experiencing the tic themself (If it's from their POV).

This is another passage from Jerk, California:

"No thanks, Jace. I'll stay with Sam." "Hah!" The word fires from my mouth. I purse my lips and bite my swollen tongue, but my vocal cords are locked and there's nothing I can do. "Stay with Sam! Stay with Sam!"

If you're writing in the POV of another character, you could describe how it looks from their perspective. Though I'd be careful with this, as it can come across as mockery if it's not done well.

With verbal tics that do interrupt dialogue, be careful to ensure it's not too frequent as it can make it difficult to read. I'd also suggest using some sort of formatting to identify tics vs general dialogue.

An example could be: (Note: This is not from the book)

"You know, I don't think–hey!–that would be a good idea."

That said, you would have to establish that the character has tics beforehand (And, ideally, establish this speech pattern as such), otherwise it can look more like an interruption or something similar.

I'd definitely suggest taking a glance through some books about characters with tics, just to see the format that other authors use. There's a wide range of options out there and the book I referenced here is just one of many ways to do it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[tis-tics]

Video description:

you can't get tics just from having anxiety. Yes, anxiety can make tics worse, BUT it's not the cause. causes can include tic disorders like tourette syndrome, pandas/ autoimmune encephalitis, drugs or substance abuse, parkinsons disease, etc.

It's important to me that people know this because I also thought my tics were because of anxiety at the start

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello big brother Brainrot!! (Can I call you Kuya? It means big brother in Tagalog and I'm Filipino :D) I've been reading your headcanons for a while now and they're so well written! They bring me a lot of comfort and I've had a few good cries as well, and it's all been a big help for getting me through my days.

I've been wondering if you could do headcanons for an MC with Tourette's Syndrome and/or some other tic disorder? How the M6 would react to seeing it the first time, how long it takes them to get used to sudden outbursts or movement from MC, stuff like that.

I have personal experience with this sort of thing, and seeing you write for it would mean a lot to me!! Of course there's no pressure, do what inspires you!! (My DMs are also open if you have any questions/need resources to do research if that's something required)

Much love!!

The Arcana HCs: When MC has Tourette's Syndrome

~ @e1i-neverrests hi friend! I'd be honored if you called me Kuya :D Thank you so much for this prompt, it was so much fun talking about it with you! - brainrot ~

Julian

Do you have any idea what an absolute fountain of potential vocal tics this man is? How many funny little noises or striking ways of saying things he does on a daily basis? He's a library

Everything from his classic "Ohoho" laugh to his scandalized "what's this?!" to the "hmm"s, "haw"s, and "no no no no no"s that he mutters as he pours over his scrawled notes

To hear all of those repeated back to him at random intervals is an adjustment, surely, but not one he finds he minds too much

If you have a tic that involves smacking yourself anywhere, he's very quick to bundle up his coat and put it in harm's way to save you a bruise or two when he sees it making an appearance

Quick to offer to hold your things for you. He likes to do this for his friends and loved ones as it is, your tics are just an extra opening for him to demonstrate his love language and feel extra gallant

Genuinely doesn't mind getting accidentally hit. It's caused him to sputter in surprise once or twice, but otherwise he either doesn't notice or uses it as an excuse to check you over for any hurts

He's your doctor, okay? He loves any opportunity to give you attention, medical included if he can hold your hands to do so

Asra

Genuinely one of the most soothing presences, they've felt like home to you for as long as you can remember and they can bring your stress levels down in just about any situation

He's been giving you his arm to lean on or hand to lead you around for years now. If for some reason you feel the need to mask and a squeezable hand helps, he's all yours. Might gently squeeze back

If for some reason or another things are really acting up in public and you need a breather, they can and will whisk you into a quiet spot where you can have the space you need until it passes

Totally in love with your vocal tics. If it's just the two of you in the shop and he hears you say one that tickles his fancy, he's echoing it back to you in a very silly game of audio catch

Will also finish phrases to turn them into different sentences, each with a funnier meaning until you're both laughing

Always checks in on how you're doing physically if they've noticed frequent motor tics, especially if they might make your muscles sore or make you dizzy or give you bruises

Can massage the soreness out of anything and never gets tired of doing so after a long or stressful day

Nadia

From the moment she's met you, she has never once remarked on your tics without you bringing them up first. She has never let them pose any obstacle to your conversations or connection

And she certainly doesn't tolerate any kind of rudeness. Valerius made the poor choice of making a cutting remark in your direction once and Nadia's comeback brought him close to tears

Nobody else has dared to give you grief in her presence since

One of the times that you brought up your Tourette's with her, she did ask if you had any related sensory preferences when it came to clothing so she could make sure you were dressed comfortably

She also paid attention to your more physical tics and you've noticed that any part of your body prone to getting bumped or thumped as a result has a subtle extra layer of padding on them

Makes sure you have plenty of big pockets to hold things for you when you're not using them actively

Always finds ways to make big events as low stress for you as possible, complete with little alcoves to duck into if you want a break from the crowds here and there

Totally unfazed if she gets accidentally whacked

Muriel

You made him jump so many times the first few days he spent around you. He's not used to sudden - well, anything!

Which isn't to say that he had any particularly negative feelings about your tics. Even if you hadn't had them, he'd have still needed an adjustment period to hearing another voice nearby at night

There was a point later where you talked about it with him, and he compared you to a songbird. The sounds and motions you make are just another strain of the symphony of his forest home

(what he'll never admit to, though you do notice, is that sometimes a vocal tic will get stuck in his head, and then he'll start mumbling or humming it to himself randomly as he goes about his day)

He doesn't talk much as it is, and with how nervous it often makes him to share his thoughts, he did have a short learning curve as far as talking past or over your tics in conversation

Always happy to carry things for you, or give you his hand to squeeze. Genuinely doesn't notice half the times you accidentally whack him while you're holding hands

Regularly puts his hand between you and whatever you're at risk of smacking, without ever thinking or acting like it's a big deal

Portia

She can talk right past your tics to the point that anyone else in the conversation barely notices they're even happening

She didn't tiptoe around your Tourette's either - within a couple hours of knowing you, she bluntly asked about it, and once you explained it to her she nodded in understanding and kept on

Has the kind of reflexes that let her catch just about anything that accidentally starts to fall (or fly) from your hands

Known to echo your vocal tics, just for the sheer joy of it. You could mumble "hello" while you're doing the dishes and she'll cheerfully shout it back from where she's sweeping the floor

Super in tune to how you're feeling in social situations, and can pick up on anyone making you feel uncomfortable before you say anything about it. Ruthless at smacking down rude comments

Also has a knack for finding quiet spots if you start to feel a tic attack coming. She'll smoothly ask the host if they have a guest room to duck into and lead you there without batting an eyelash

Never really sure what to do with motor tics that get destructive, besides inviting you to lie in her lap and take deep breaths and let her put salve on any bruises or sore muscles later

Lucio

It was a rough start, let's be real

Quite simply, he didn't understand why it happened, it was something about you that he'd never seen in anyone else, and it made for prime teasing material when he got annoyed or upset

He quickly snapped out of it and developed more empathy, of course, but it still took a while for him to learn how not to help

Trying to hold you back from motor tics, for example

Eventually he just learned to tune most of it out, to the point that he doesn't notice it's even happening half the time. That's just his partner's built-in soundtrack

The few times mimicking him has been one of your tics, he's been absolutely delighted and puffed out his chest whenever it happened. That's right! He's something worth imitating!!

Tried putting his metal arm in the way of potentially destructive motor tics a couple times, only to find out that hitting the metal often hurt you more than hitting yourself

Once or twice, over the course of his "become a better person" journey, he did adapt one of your vocal tics as a swear (mostly because it was stuck in his head) it was ... quite something

[autisticadvocacy]

ASAN is deeply troubled by the Supreme Court’s decision in Grants Pass v. Johnson. On Friday, June 28, the Supreme Court held that enforcing camping bans on public property against people who are unhoused is not cruel and unusual punishment as long as the laws about camping apply to everyone, including people who are housed. The Eighth Amendment of the US Constitution prohibits cruel and unusual punishment. The Court’s ruling means that people who cannot afford housing may be fined or even jailed for sleeping outdoors, even if there are not enough non-religious shelter beds for everyone who is unhoused in a particular community. We know that equal enforcement of an unjust law does not mean fair enforcement of a law. Today’s decision allows for an anti-camping law to be enforced even against people who have no choice but to sleep outdoors. This makes life harder for people experiencing homelessness and criminalizes it. This ruling opens the door for other jurisdictions to create similar laws.

This decision will disproportionately harm people experiencing homelessness, especially unhoused disabled people. People with disabilities are more likely to be unhoused or deal with housing insecurity than people without disabilities. In 2023, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) estimated nearly one-third of individuals experiencing homelessness are experiencing chronic homelessness and have a disability.

Many factors contribute to increased homelessness among people with disabilities. Disabled renters report being less caught up on rent than the general population. This is often because rent continues to rise above what low-income households can afford. Many disabled people are also restricted by SSI asset limits and subminimum wage, which allows employers to legally pay people with disabilities less than minimum wage. These programs trap people in poverty and make it impossible to pay the rent on even a small apartment in many communities. Housing requires having a steady source of income. Disabled people are much less likely than non-disabled people to have a job and disabled people face pay gaps at work. Homelessness is not a moral failing. Homelessness is directly tied to the cost of housing and rent-to-income ratio.

Housing is expensive, and saving money is more difficult as a disabled person due to a host of factors. Being disabled is expensive. Households with an adult with a disability that limits their work need, on average, over $17,000 more a year to have the same standard of living as a nondisabled person. Many people with disabilities need features in housing that would be considered “luxuries” and therefore priced higher. For example, a person with a physical disability might need to live in an apartment building with a doorman or receptionist who can help them carry packages up to their apartment. A person with Tourette’s Syndrome, whose tics cause them to make loud and unpredictable noises at all hours, may need to live in a single-family home so they do not disturb neighbors through thin walls. Many homes are inaccessible. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act requires only 5% of units to be accessible for mobility disabilities and 2% to be accessible for visual and hearing disabilities, but the prevalence of mobility disabilities is 12%, visual disabilities 5%, and hearing disabilities 6%. Disabled people who are able to afford housing often face discrimination. The 2023 Fair Housing Trends Report notes that discrimination based on disability accounts for more than half of complaints filed (53.26%) with Fair Housing Enforcement Organizations (FHO), HUD, and Fair Housing Assistance Program (FHAP). These factors can all contribute to disabled people becoming unhoused.

We cannot allow people experiencing homelessness to be criminalized for their lack of resources and community supports. Our country must prioritize community-based resources — and recognize people experiencing homelessness as part of our communities. We know that options like supportive housing and employment, peer support services, and other community-based services are more effective, and far less harmful to our community, than criminal prosecution and jail time.

ASAN calls on Congress and state legislatures to better protect unhoused people through greater funding for homelessness and housing services and legislation to protect homeless people from criminalization for camping in public. We also call upon HUD to re-release the “Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing” rule proposed in 2023. This rule would require state and local governments who receive HUD funding to get rid of segregation and other discriminatory practices in housing, which disproportionately impact people with disabilities, people of color, and other marginalized groups.

All people deserve to live self-directed lives in the community of their choosing. Criminalization and institutionalization of people experiencing homelessness cannot be the answer — we must end the housing crisis and ensure that all people have access to safe and adequate places to live. ASAN will continue to fight for all disabled people to have the right to live in the community, and our government must do the same.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism. ASAN believes that the goal of autism advocacy should be a world in which autistic people enjoy equal access, rights, and opportunities. We work to empower autistic people across the world to take control of our own lives and the future of our common community, and seek to organize the autistic community to ensure our voices are heard in the national conversation about us. Nothing About Us, Without Us!

[pyrondeeznutz]

Ticci Toby Headcanons

PT.01

Toby Rogers past, upbringing, pre-proxy headcanons. See proxy era headcanons here ⬇️

CW: Slight mentions of animal abuse, domestic violence, psychosis, bullying, car crash, gore

<NOTE> Im a psychology nerd so I tried to make it as realistic as possible. This is my first time doing anything like this but I have a lot of thoughts about Tobys character. Its not proofread so ignore any typos or grammatical errors. Also… its very long… I have… so many thoughts…

BIOGRAPHY .

PATIENT NAME: Tobias (Toby) Erin Rogers

BIRTHDATE: April 28th, 1994

AGE: Currently 19 years old

HC/EC: Brown hair, brown eyes

ETHNICITY: White American

BIRTHPLACE: Denver, Colorado

FAMILY: Connie Rogers (mother), Dan Rogers (Father), Lyra Rogers (sister)

DIAGNOSIS: Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis (CIPA), Tourettes Syndrome, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder (Type 1, psychotic)

THE GURNEY .

Toby was in and out of hospitals from a very young age due to his wide range of physical and mental health concerns

His earliest memory was when, at age 4, he hit his head after falling onto cement and didn’t cry, scream, or even really acknowledge that he was hurt

After seeing the bloody mess her young child was in, Connie ran Toby to the hospital where tests were ran to determine what caused his lack of pain response

Finally at age 8, Toby was diagnosed with CIPA. This condition not only prevented his brain from generating a pain response but also responses to extreme temperatures (frostbite, heat burn, etc)

Due to these dangerous health issues, and his neurotic mother, Toby was put in homeschooling from a very early age. Connie was too protective of her son to allow him to go out on his own at his age

His earliest memories revolved around roaming hospital halls, his parents fighting over medical bills, being talked to by social workers and doctors, having tests done, minor surgeries, etc.

DEAR OLD DAD .

Dan Rogers was a difficult man. He never admitted he was wrong, he spent his evenings drinking on the couch, and always had something to complain about. The best words to describe this man was angry, bitter, and reckless

He wasn’t a father by any means. To Toby, the man was more of a nuisance than anything. An alcoholic manchild who stood in his way

The boy never got along with Dan. His father would see him as a burden, bringer of unnecessary medical costs. He severely emotionally and physically neglected his children from their birth. Dan never wanted to be a father.

Due to the costs of Tobys medical problems, Dan would continuously attempt to “prove he was faking” his CIPA, and yell at the boy for his strange twitches due to Tourettes. On one occasion, Dan put his sons hand in a pot of boiling water to try and elicit a pain response that never came.

As Toby got older and more independent from his mother, he would often mouth off to his father, talk back, or straight up ignore him. There was never a moment of peace between those two

Being the money maker in the house, Dan was usually very overworked and stressed. He turned to alcohol to relieve this, and his bad temper got worse when he drank. Often to the point his outbursts would lead to physical violence against his family

It was like walking in a minefield for Toby and his family. And since the supposed “man of the house” was a drunken mean old man, Toby took it upon himself to protect his family from his fathers wrath.

He would purposely act up to direct Dans fist towards him. The boy couldn’t feel it anyways, and being hit, pushed, grabbed, was better than having his sister or mother be hit or yelled at.

The young boy spent his childhood in a rage, he was powerless against his father.

MOTHER DEAREST .

Unlike her husband, Connie was a quiet woman who cared deeply for her children

She was well-mannered, motherly, and kept to herself. And while she was a good woman, she had her fair share of flaws

You would catch her dead before you ever caught her losing control over her emotions. Connie grew up quick and that stuck with her. From a young age she took care of her manchild of a husband

She couldn’t afford to lose herself to silly things like emotions. She had a family to care for, a house to clean, meals to cook. Her priorities lied on appearance over her health

This was one of the many reasons she couldn’t leave her husband despite the years of abuse

Despite all the violence, berating, assault. This life was her own and it was just another thing she had to live with

Toby loved his mother, he really did. He knew she did the best given the circumstances. Connie kept her children fed, clothed and housed. Thats all he could really ask for

But he despised from the depths of his soul how she could just sit by and let the abuse happen. How she never left Dan. How she never cared enough to leave despite not knowing what lied in store for them beyond that house

To her, Dan was a safety net. He provided money, insurance, he paid the bills, put food on the table. Connie quit her job in order to homeschool her son. There was no choice

To Toby, his mother was a coward who never stuck up for herself. And god forbid he ever turn into that

So Toby fought the battles his mother couldn’t. He said the words his mother didn’t dare to speak. He took the beatings and his mother did nothing but ask her husband to stop

SOUL SISTER .

In the chaos of that household, Lyra was something of fresh air for Toby

While the two did fight as any siblings do, they had a mutual care and understanding for each other

Lyra would keep a makeshift first aid kit under her bed for whenever Toby got into minor accidents or if their father went too far some nights

Like her little brother, Lyra had a lot of anger in her. She would always try to stop Dan from going too far and she was good at talking Toby and their father down from ripping each others throats out

She would channel this anger and frustration into sports like boxing, soccer, rugby. It was easier to express her feelings through physical means than ever talking about it. The girl was a perfect mix of her parents

When he was younger, Toby had a very bad and hostile relationship with Lyra. He was young and didn’t have any clue how to handle his emotions and would often threaten or physically hurt his sister

But as he grew up, and they bonded over the related abuse, and they would be there for each other, Toby developed tender care for his older sister. If she got a boyfriend, he would be ready to attack at any sign of disrespect. If she brought over friends, he would stay in his room not to embarrass her.

Just as he was with his mother, he was very protective over Lyra. She did so much for him, and he wanted to keep her safe. It was a tangled, messy relationship but they made it work despite her attitude and his anger

CONDUCT .

Toby grew up completely isolated from other kids, families, etc. The most socialization he got was going to family events or being dragged to the grocery store with his mother.

All he knew growing up was violence. And so when he was around other people, he would project everything he learnt from his father onto other kids

From a very early age he was made to feel small and insignificant in his own home by the people that were supposed to take care of him. And so whenever something challenged him out of the house, he would do whatever he needed to do to put them below him

Sometimes Toby would project this violence onto small animals, occasionally moving onto bigger animals such as cats. The feeling of killing something smaller than himself with his own hands gave him a sense of power and control he never had

Due to his untreated ADHD, the boy would often be loud, hyperactive and intrusive. He would have temper tantrums and outbursts as well, and his mother never knew how to handle it

He was a problem child from birth. Not only causing problems for himself, but for everyone around him

Toby would talk back, curse, say strange and vulgar things, refuse to apologize or admit he was wrong, and would run away from home occasionally.

But despite these behavioural issues, Toby always refused to touch alcohol. Despite all the anger, dread and frustration he felt he swore he’d never become the kind of man his father was

BULLY .

Around 12 years old, Toby’s parents decided it would be best for him to get properly socialized and placed him in a public school

He was now old enough to recognize that bleeding is bad and how to check for injuries despite his CIPA, which allowed Connie to calm down tremendously when it came to her anxiety surrounding her boys health and safety

Despite his mothers insistence that he would love public school, he’d make so many friends there, and that everything would be fine, Toby knew damn well he wouldn’t do well there. He was already bullied by his own father, imagine how other kids would react. He’s seen the movies.

And of course Toby was right. Due to his Tourettes, his tics would often confuse, scare and gross other kids out. They would either straight up treat him like a diseases rat or ruthlessly bully him

The boy was called every name in the book, from “twitchy freak” to “ticci Toby��

Alongside the ostracism and harassment from his peers, his tics and behavioural issues would cause him issues with his teachers. They would often scold him for being a disturbance in class

Making and keeping friends was near impossible for the boy. Talking to a “creepy loser” like him was practically social suicide. He was weird, strange, and given his history of fighting the other kids he was probably dangerous too. No kid wanted to be around that.

On occasion, the other boys would get physical with him and he would always hit back, leading him to get in more trouble with the school staff

Toby would be beat down at school and go home to have it done to him all again by his father

Eventually the school year came to an end and Toby was put back in homeschooling

Even though the torment in middle school came to an end, that didn’t mean the bullying stopped. He was now a known freak and the perfect target for kids who were a bit too much like him. They would harass him online until they got bored, and god forbid he saw any of them in public

It made the angry, powerless boy feel even worse in his own world. There wasn’t a night that went by where he didn’t think of going off and getting his revenge. Make them pay for ever fucking with him.

THE CRASH .

When Toby turned 17, he had finally got himself medicated for his recently diagnosed Bipolar Disorder which caused manic / depressive episodes

He was put on antipsychotics and stimulant medication for his ADHD

While he was being treated, his sister got a job and so did his mother. Outside of all the familiar instability and violence his father caused, life was good

Toby was going to be 18 soon and his sister promised that when he became a legal adult, she would take him to move out with her

He didn’t have any friends, he didn’t really have any plans for his life, but he had a life ahead of him regardless and that was enough

The boy was working through pain too great to imagine, he was carrying 17 years of fear and dread, he was so young holding on to so much

But he had a way out. He was going to get a job and move out with his dear older sister and maybe even go to college. He was going to overcome this

That was his views at least up until the crash

Lyra was driving Toby back home from a doctors appointment when it happened

His tics were acting up, it was rather distracting

He was so caught up in his own little world and trying to get through the frustrating twitches that he didn’t even have a second to process what happened

The next thing Toby knew, the car was swerving right into a lamppost and the air bags were deployed

And the next thing Toby saw was his sisters mangled, bloody body. The force of the steering wheel crushing her bones and shards of glass piercing her skin. The physical trauma near shattered her ribs

And the next thing Toby heard was the pained groans and wheezing from his dying sister

Thats the last thing he remembered before he woke up in a hospital bed with his broken arm being patched up. The doctors wouldn’t even let him see his sister who was under surgery in the emergency room

He didn’t get to be there by her side when she died

He didn’t get a goodbye

And while he was surrounded by family, his aunt Lori was even there to support his mother, Tobys father was nowhere to be seen

Dan was too drunk to drive, and too lazy to call a cab. He didn’t care about Toby and he didn’t care that his daughter just died. One less burden.

In one afternoon Tobys entire life slipped through the cracks of his hands

HIM .

The grief was sickening. It was heavier than the weight of the world. The silence that flooded his once loud house from his sister blaring her Beatles albums was deafening

These were the kinds of things that only happened in movies. People didn’t really lose their family members, and these things didn’t happen to people like him

It wasn’t fair

The one good thing in his miserable life, the moment things were finally getting better. There was no hope anymore, Toby was hopeless

He thought of ending his life every night as he stared at the ceiling, not getting a wink of sleep. But he couldn’t do that to his mom. She never showed it, but it showed clearly from the weight in her steps, the tired look in her eyes. He knew she was carrying a burden too great to bear

He couldn’t take away both of her children

So he would lie there night after night hoping to wake up from the gutwrenching dream just to hear her laugh, sing, blast her shitty music. He never really liked The Beatles, but she did. But she did.

It was all too much for him. From the moment Toby stepped out of the hospital he hadn’t felt real. The boy was living two steps away from reality like there was a sheet of plastic in between him and the world

Days would go by where he would forget to take his medication, or where he would simply just sleep the entire day away

On the days he was awake, Toby would feel like he was going insane. He wouldn’t feel real, he would see things out of the corner of his eye

Sometimes he’d swear he saw something outside his window at night

A strange creature standing under the streetlights

And it only got worse from here. Toby would almost always refuse to leave the house, he stopped sleeping, he felt like something was watching him

The boy would spend hours staring outside his bedroom window. The forest in his backyard had eyes and they were watching him

A wave of sickness overtook Toby. He would wake up with bloody noses sometime and no medicine would get rid of his strange cough. Sometimes he would sleepwalk and end up waking up on the edge of the forest behind his house, cold and alone in the dark of the night

It all added up. It was too much. The anger, the fear, the paranoia. The little voice in the back of his head telling him to just do it. Get revenge. Make him pay.

ABLAZE .

The years and years of abuse. Everything his father had done. He wasn’t there. He was never there.

Why should a man like that deserve to live? 17 fucking years of making Toby feel small and insignificant

Not today. And not anymore. The world was in the boys hands now, and so was a knife. And that night was the night Toby Rogers killed his own father.

No words could describe the feeling of adrenaline and rage that overtook the boy that night. There was no other option, this was the way it was always going to happen

Everything Toby has ever been through has led up to this. It was his own divine prophecy

And God showed no mercy that night

23 stab wounds drilled into his fathers chest, his face bloody, beaten and unrecognizable. Toby smashed his tiny bruised fists ruthlessly into his fathers now deceased body.

The only thing that stopped him was the scream of his mother. It was something primal, something deep from the pain in her gut.

Toby ran into the garage and grabbed two axes that belonged to his father, one old one new. Alongside that he grabbed gasoline and matches. He was going to do what he knew best. He was going to destroy everything.

And so the boy ran down the street of his neighborhood pouring the gasoline along his way and dousing the rest over the trees as he stood at the edge of the forest

Striking a match, the dry grass and trees caught on fire and immediately exploded into flames. The heat and blaze engulfed the boy and soon it began catching onto the rest of the forest

This was the end, he thought. Strangely enough, even though his heart was beating in his throat and his body was shaking, he felt calm. He had no regrets and he was fine with this being his ending.

His mind went blank, everything felt like a static screen, he could feel himself getting dizzy and there was a loud ringing in his ears

The last thing he saw was a tall, faceless creature in the midst of the smoke and fire as he collapsed to the ground.

And that was the death of Tobias Erin Rogers.