#cause yknow adhd and stuff

[skierisa]

again, for the writers following me (also those who aren't and are seeing this) P L E A S E link me your favourite works i need to read more stuff in english

[crazyw3irdo]

okay, i think any time anyone asks what superpower we’d like to have most everyone on this website would say shapeshifting but what kind of shapeshifting would you like

type 1- wild shape, you can turn into any animal, real or fictional

type 2- mystique, you can turn into any real person

type 3- cosplay, you can turn into any humanoid fictional character

type 4- jake the dog, you’re super stretchy

type 5- character creator, you can alter your own appearance- like changing voice hair length texture color, changing height and weight, transing gender, etc, but you can’t add anything non-human (ie horns, wings, claws, etc)

type 6- additional features, you can add things like snake eyes, horns, cat ears, tail, claws, wings, mermaid tail, but you remain humanoid overall and can’t change things like height or gender presentation or hair color. you can still change your voice tho

type 7- were-wolf, we all know what a werewolf is, lads. can be any kind of animal. can be straight up wolf or more monstrous wolf form that’s up to you.

type 8- furry, you just become your fursona. or any kind of fursona really you can change between them

type 9- antman, can become small or big

type 10- other, say what kind ya want

[aroaceleovaldez]

they cast a 28 year old for Tyson 💀

[relevant rants: here and here]

yeah, i saw - i wasn't holding onto hope of them casting a disabled actor for Tyson (still disappointed, just not surprised) but casting a 28 year old for a middle schooler is really out of left field. It's just an odd choice? Particularly given how much they've been emphasizing age-accurate casting so far.

It makes me really wonder what major rewrites they have planned for Tyson's character. Because as things stand currently there's no way to make Tyson's existing character work with this casting. Tyson is supposed to be in Percy's grade, but Daniel Diemer sticks out like a sore thumb against the child actors. Tyson being in Percy's grade is pretty important for the entire arc of Sea of Monsters with the main character arc being Percy combating internalized ableism and establishing him as a character who stands up for other marginalized kids. If they remove that, what's Percy's arc going to be for that entire season? At what point are they going to establish that about his character? Or are they just going to exposition it at us like usual with nothing backing it up and no actual character progression? And in later seasons the age gap is only going to be more prominent - like how is Tyson going to work in BoTL or TLO? Are they planning on removing his character entirely for those scenes? Are they going to remove him as a recurring character in general? It'd be really weird if they killed him off or something.

I'm also afraid for if they do try to keep Tyson's disability coding in some form - cause there's kind of no good way it can go at this point. Either they completely erase Tyson's coding because they cast an abled actor for him and that messes up the entire arc of the book and his character particularly in relation to Percy, or they have an abled actor attempt to portray a character heavily coded as having down syndrome (and i believe they're already doing similar with iirc Chiron's actor is abled but they're doubling-down in the show on Chiron being disabled) and given how they've written the neurodivergence themes (or absence there of) in the show so far there's just no way that'd end well. Like, Tyson's characterization is a little questionable to begin with in the books, but given the show's writing so far it just feels like we're very rapidly ramping up for an extremely ableist characterization of Tyson. Like i'm sure Daniel Diemer is a great actor, but... i'm just getting real tired of the show erasing the entire premise of the series :T

anyways as per my initial post about pjo tv tyson casting theories i guess it's time for me to start tearing stuff apart with my teeth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jimmedicated-jambino]

hiii umm feel free to ignore this if u want. im not really good at words and articulating things and i know the full project and context is still yet to come but i would really like to ask what direction you’re coming from with this… cause im perceiving like, a sort of unempathetic “HA stupid shit idiot loser finally realized he needs therapy and medication to be worth something” undercurrent (yknow not maybe in those exact words but this general vibe) and i would really like to know if im totally wrong about this, cause i like your art plenty and it gets shared in my circle but something still pokes the back of my mind y’know? i hope the rest of your day is good :)

Ok I avoided mentioning this because I really prefer not to share details about my mental health and personal traumatic experiences, but I guess I should've said this sooner:

TW: Depression, su*cide attempt

Note: To be clear, whenever I mention "Jimmy" I am NOT talking about the character from the game. I'm talking about the Jimmy in my AU.

This AU is rooted in my own experiences with mental illness, severe depression, and taking medication. I have struggled with depression for the majority of my life and around 4 years ago I reached my lowest point. It got so bad that just being alive hurt. Living hurt. Everything just hurt. From the moment I woke up until the moment I fell asleep all I could feel was just pure pain. Not just emotional pain, it manifested into physical pain. And it was bad. I felt like I was rotting on the inside and my soul was trying to climb out of the torture chamber that my body had become. I was willing to do anything to make the pain and suffering stop. I was prepared to end my life and if I hadn't made the decision to try medication as a last resort, I can say with 100% percent certainty that I would be dead right now. I really couldn't take it anymore. I had reached the absolute bottom. I gave up.

Jimmy in this AU is sort of a projection of myself, both past and present. Good and bad. Not sure why my brain decided to pick this character specifically to project onto. I hated him with a passion when I first finished the game. Idk might have something to do with me having autism and adhd or something or all the jimcurly fanfic I started reading. I'm doing better now, but that experience will always stick with me. Because it's part of me now in a way and I found that using creative outlets to sort of cope really helps. Like taking parts of my trauma, creating something new out of it, and then just putting it out in the world and letting it go. It's not trapped inside my body anymore. It takes some of the weight off my shoulders. It's helped me heal a lot. I also have a tendency to use self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Maybe I've been too hyperbolic about Jimmy's traits? I'm not sure. I tend to do that a lot to myself.

But, all of this au stuff isn't just something I pulled out of my ass or made up. It's all based on something real that happened to me. This is built on an actual person's experience. My experience.

Jimmy is also meant to be a lot more nuanced. There's an animation in progress that tells the story a lot better. It's like one of those animatic music video things ppl make and post on YouTube. The song is really important to this AU, honestly it's kinda like the theme song to me?? Idk It's called TENSIONNN by Webcage (such a bop legitimately) it's meant to describe the tail end of the "fallout" and the entirety of the "split" from Jimmy's pov. The most important lyric in that song and probably the lyric that this AU was created around is:

"I won't leave you now, It's too poetic"

It's poetic that Jimmy left with the intention of watching Curly crash and burn without him in his life, only to turn around and watch him succeed and soar. It's a tragedy. But it's ALSO poetic that Jimmy started to heal and worked so hard to get to a place where he could re-enter Curly's life and have a healthy relationship with him. Now they're together again, but this time they're not two impulsive, emotionally immature, 20 year olds. They're two adults that have had time to learn and grow as people. And that is beautifully poetic to me. Also super interesting to explore that concept.

If canon Curly and Jimmy sticking together was what allowed the events of Mouthwashing to happen, then them spending some time apart could be what prevents it from happening. Atleast that was my logic while writing this. I wanted to make a sort of fix-it AU to fill the "wholesome Jimcurly" hole in my heart bc fanfics like that are scarce as fuck (understandable bc of the source). I tried to write this whole thing as a fanfic, but I quickly realized that 1) I'm not good at writing anything longer than 1,000 words and 2) this story requires visuals to properly tell it in the way I intended.

Also, I'm having fun. Drawing and writing all of this makes me happy. Obviously, the story isn't very "fun" (I've cried for hours while writing and drawing the more depressing parts probably 20 times by now), but telling it is. I don't know. I'm just a guy that draws. A depressed guy that draws and is still healing. I'm in no way "cured" by the medication I'm on. I still have depressive episodes, but I've been managing them better. I'm in a much better place mentally rn and I'm proud of myself. I've been fighting an intense mental battle against depression everyday for 10+ years of my life at this point. I'm not like 100% happy, I'm just kinda chillin rn idk.

I'm glad you asked this question! I encourage other people to ask questions! It helps me grow as a beginner writer and storyteller.

I hope that answered your question. I appreciate you.

TLDR: No, that isn't at all what I'm doing here. Jimmy is a reflection of myself and my experience with having severe depression and how I started my healing journey. It's based on very real events and thoughts that I have had. No, I don't have any bad intentions. No, I don't hate mentally ill people. I'm mentally ill and neurodivergent. I'm diagnosed. (We're in this fight together, man why would I do that??) I'm not a mustache-twirling villain with an ulterior motive. I'm a tired, mentally ill college student with audhd that is recovering from severe depression that literally almost killed me and drawing these guys is my current hyperfixation that helps me cope with that. That's it.

Also Jimmy is my favorite character (in this AU!!!!) idk why ppl think I hate him. Don't artists usually dump all their trauma on their ocs and make them suffer incomprehensible horrors bc they love the oc?? I thought we all did that. I did that. That's what I'm doing rn. 💀

[pastara-cell]

omori related take:

the way a lot of the fandom treats kel is lowkey ableist. the way they'll say he has no trauma, or that he's stupid, dumb, idiot, bad grades, and constantly makes jokes out of him, treating him like nothing but a fucking himbo

like first off its fucking rude and if you actually did ANY analysis on kel's character you'd see that's wrong, but ALSO especially for those who say he's stupid, i notice their reasoning tends to be things that he does that are literally symptoms of adhd????? like man. stop that

PREACH. FUCKING PREACH, ANON. HOT TAKE AND I FULLY AGREE

Kel has been my favorite character since (even before) I started playing the game, for the main reason of ‘oh hey, he copes the EXACT WAY I do’ and it has been INFURIATING to look at people call him stupid or dumb. I think the only time we ever see people treating him like an actual character is when you see that one fanmade ‘hero and kel’s grief’ (which is done beautifully), but its always about heros trauma? Not kel, even tho the headcanon is about them both.

Ignoring/blocking out trauma, especially in cases of deaths, is a coping mechanism. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any trauma. In all honesty, as much as I love the headcanon that kel’s healed from the experience, I dont think its true. Slap a 12 year old into a friendgroup with your older brother, his girlfriend, his girlfriend’s younger brother, and your two other friends, and then suddenly rip it ALL away on some random sunday. Your brother’s girlfriend? Dead, killed herself. Your older brother? Probably going through immense grief, if we go by even a lighter version of “hero and kel’s grief”, thats still awful to have to see. Seeing your siblings fall into depression is not fun. Ontop of that, his girlfriend’s younger brother shuts himself in, one of your friends suddenly starts homeschooling and is acting really strange, and then your only other friend from that group starts to beat the shit out of you! These are not thing you heal from on your own, they just arent.

As for the adhd thing, oh my void yes 🙏😭. The amount of times i’ve been called stupid for being ‘slow’ or ‘being too much’, or getting bad grades, or not paying attention, or forgetting things- Whether kel has adhd or not (from a person who does have it, i’m almost positive) He isnt stupid for any of the stuff he does.

Traits like these do NOT make anyone stupid, and yknow what also contributes to making certain things worse? Trauma. Trauma and adhd have NOT been a fun combo for me, so kel’s coping mechanisms of optimism and blocking are extremely well thought out, and reflect on his character well. Its the damn fandom who can’t see he’s more than a comic relief :((

Might make an analysis on here cause this is jumping all over the place, but yes anon, you are CORRECT

[emberunderscore]

FableSMP MTG AU

its master list time baybee i gotta have organization for these typsa shittt. anyway we're saying player characters are planeswalkers and im telling you how i think they got they sparks and what mana they'd use (+some gods at the end)

my source is the magic the gathering wiki and this is the page im using for the colours (and some stuff sherb said bc. they know more than me)

Icarus

Spark: Probably got theirs the first time they should've died (alternatively quixis is weird with the rest of the multiverse and the bleeding eye is their spark awakening) Mana: Black (/Red) Specifically Icarus without their bleeding eye, black mana stands for self concern and ambition as well as death. I think Icarus would be really drawn to necromancy, because of Haley stuff but also because something about dying multiple times making you drawn to having control over death itself. I think Fable's Icarus is black aligned but i don't think i can say they're not a little red at least

Rae

Spark: Rae's maybe was awoken sometime while living with fable since that was a traumatic time for him, that or he probably witnessed his brother die and both brothers got sparks at the same time? (something something soul bond idk). Mana: Blue/White Ok so. Rae is blue coded as a character. hes just blue. and blue mana is like curiosity and science which is very rae coded. but also consider white mana, which is organization and can be used for healing and protection and i think if Rae could choose he'd pick that to help people.

Athena

Spark: Athena's honestly could've awoken during ominous bane (looking at the training ep specifically) and i think they either wouldn't have used it at all or they'd have accidentally just fucked off (thinking about icarus having the ability to follow them at that point thinking about corrupt icarus having the power to track them through planes). Mana: Red So, fire and destruction. Duh. but red's big thing is like emotion which i think is very fitting

Arisanna

Spark: Ari's defo awoke when the aether fell . imagine panic of her waking up in the overworld but she's in a whole ass different world. Mana: Blue (/Black) I think blue mana cause of all the time in the aether and thats like . literally the dimension of knowledge. i think she might be pretty curious yknow. also black mana for vexed ari bc self serving nature of it

Fenris

Spark: There could probably be a lot, either sometime when he was a child or maybe when Vikesh died? Mana: Red/White (/Green) He's got that emotion and drive in them, seeking peace and to protect, green for his drive for his family

Centross

Spark: errm maybe when his cult leader parents tried to sacrifice him to that goddess. just a suggestion tho Mana: Oh boy. Oh centross could go so many ways. This man has so much character development and his ideals change so much so in chronilogical order: Black (S1, making a deal for power, "power through oppotunity" is black's mantra), White/Red (Violet Reaper moment, white is structure and red is emotion), Red (Redemtion Arc), and back to White (up to the end, into godhood, still structure and order, but for a better cause now)

Ocie

Spark: Probably when she lost her partners in the resets Mana: Red/Green Red is like emotion and impulsiveness and maybe its just every adhd coded character is red mana coded but if that is the case then so be it. Yeah ironically i think ocie is very red coded (ironic cause fire), and green is there for family

Momboo

Spark: Maybe around the first time she made herself forget Mana: Green Its like plants, get it? Also very like family and patience

Jamie/Bruin

Spark: When they were locked in the basement, spark awakens and they escape Mana: Green Again, plants and family

Easton

Spark: I don't know a lot about easton's lore . but i remember reading what i think was a canon fic about their dead bio parents?? I might be making this up/it might've been fanfic. I don't remember. Anyway if it is canon probably something like that Mana: Black/Green Member of nature fam being not green? not possible, they got that vibe you know

Ulysses

Spark: Oh fuck im not fully caught up on my ulysses lore chat im not gonna lie to you . i dont know his full backstory im so sorry. anway id probably say his spark ignited when he got mauled by leviathan Mana: Blue (/Green) Scientist man, also waber. He seekin that knowledge for sure. Green for the family aspect, he cares so much about percy

Ven

Spark: Maybe when his fiance died? Or when his memories got yoinked Mana: Green, some aspect of Black, Blue Cares a lot about Feng, family aspect, some aspect of self serving nature, seeking the knowledge of his own memories among other things im sure

Major Gods

okay so the major gods COULD be planeswalkers but they also dont really have like . time for the sparks to awaken . consider, they've always been able to just do that. k with that we're just doing mana for the major gods

Fable: Black/White So black is very self serving and "power through oppotunity" and Fable's whole thing is trying to gain power and white is very organization and "peace through structure" and from the magic wiki it says White's ultimate goal is peace—a world where there is no unnecessary suffering; a world where life is as good as it can be for each individual and if eliminating suffering isn't one of Fable's biggest goals we might be watching different shows

Enderian: Blue/Black Something something goddess of the Mind something something seeking knowledge. Yeah she's gotta be blue. and also again, self serving nature (maybe she could be green, maybe towards the end of her life she changed just enough)

Alerion: Blue/Green/White Blue again being knowledge and Alerion's realm being a whole ass library of knowledge, green for the family aspect and the compliance with nature and white for order and peace (notably not at the expence of the natural cycle of life)

Netherum: Red/Green So I'd say the green aspects came after Soul, thinking about Netherum being the only Red aligned major god (though their probably could be some arguments towards Fable for that too). Red is volatile and emotion and firey passion all the things I think scream Netherum and Green of course is family which I think Soul helped him learn to appreciate, I also think he has an appreciation for the nature of the Nether and how that all works especially with him being a hybrid of all their people they can relate at least a little to most of them

[roenters]

Full on walked into my local book shop today cause it's closing down, worked up the courage to ask if they had The Outsiders cause I don't have a copy. Got into a huge chat with the guy that owns the shop cause he wanted to know why young people - he said not to generalise me as all young people which was funny but yo anyway - liked the book and I was like well I just really liked the characters and I cried when they all fucking...well..yknow and you could understand why everyone did what they did and the whole social commentary thing and turned out he'd read it like five times and he was a mental health professional originally and that the author based the lad in the book on one of her mates that had autism but it wasnt diagnosed cause there wasn't a label for it back then and that's why the lad in the book was so dead set on telling the truth and shit like that and I was like you whatttt. Very interesting. Then my mate came over and we started going on about ADHD and Autism and misdiagnosis and overlaps and all this shit and then he was talking about derogatory terms and mentioned like schizophrenia and then my mate was like oh yeh and a lot of people mix that up with DID when it's a completey different thing and obviously my ass just full on went 'Fight Club reference'. So then we got onto that. While still talking about mental health. And then I brought up Primal Fear cause yk...connections?? And this guy said he'd watched the film and I'm like heck yeh and I'm like oh yeh I'm getting the books for Christmas (confirmed. So excited) and then we got back on the autism shit and we were talking about it in the media and cause obviously not every person with DID is a serial killer......or pretending to have DID so we were on about like the stereotypes that can be sparked like every autistic person is like mystically intelligent and I was like oh yeh like in Rain Man when he was gambling and can just do it all- and he finally was like 'wow. You watch a lot of old films.' and I'm like...fucking...now I do lmfaoooo- but yeh and then he was on about the matchstick scene and saying about how obviously not all autistic people can do that and stuff but some can and how just yk talented it is and interesting how different people's brains work.

My mate also was trying to market The Magnus Archives throughout the convo the whole time and I'm like. Bro. That's not a book. Or a film. 💀💀

[tomb-the-mod]

INTRO POST

GOD. DAMN. IT FEELS GOOD TO GET OUT OF THOSE BRACKETS, They've been holding me down but NOT ANYMORE. FINALLY.

Greetings! I'm Tomb, you know me from Bob, Hammer, Icee, and a few others.

A couple of things about me

drunk mode

I'm stupid, not like bad stupid, good stupid. I have adhd and a bit of autism since I hit my head on rocks alot in elementary school, yknow, like a norm. So I tend to not really understand what's going on if too much is happening at once, going to fast, or I'm just not very caught up from doing something so expect me to ask alot of questions

I have ADHD and Tourrettes Syndrome, basically meaning I twitch alot make noise which isn't really a problem here on Tumblr, but in case you find me irl somehow then I will do random stuff, also also it causes me to get random bursts of energy out of nowhere so some days I'll be out of and other days I'll be super affectionate and whatever, you'll see it when it happens :3

I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY (You get the point) GAY which also means I SIMP ALOT , so I'm VERY open talking about silly goobers with you :333 (BUT DO NOTE THIS, Like yee ol fashioned "people", I DO NOT LIKE IRL STUFF/S-X/PEOPLE WHATEVER, If its FICTIONAL and its ART and its FANFICS then im okay with that, voice actors I'm kinda alright with its just kinda, not really like, a big fan. Straight up actors or people, I just kinda know them and thats about it.

I. CRAVE. ART.

Nothing more needs to be said here /silly

I think that's all I can really think of here, check this a bit often to make sure I added things because I will think about them later and add them here.

PLAY WITH ME!! I NEED GAMER FRIENDS!!

(Yes I know these are all the same so what)

Steam: Blademaster1407

Roblox: Blade_I8 (Display: Blade)

VR: Blademaster_1407

Minecraft (This is the main one): OnlyBlade_

Discord (also main): Bob da ghost

I mainly play games like Csgo, minecraft, dayZ, pz, Roblox, and some more :33

Credits to @/mod-autumn for the art of my mod sona (litterly just my roblox avatar lmfao) and @/yunfox00 for the pfp :3333

IMPORTANT TAG: #Tomby

This tag is things that AREN'T reblogs of random stuff I find on my dashboard, if you want actual conversations, use this tag on my blog :33

[spookypartycrit]

Wouldn't surprise me of Exsio not only was back to doing the thing that got her ass on fire, but also trying to get on Eevee's good graces (I'm hoping against hope that after taking mod status from her he blocked her on all socials).

I remember her going on a rant on her main of not being able to hold a job becyof autism and adhd (let's not talk about what does she thinks neurodivergent people are and why is it disgusting that she was using us as a shield). Dunno girly, maybe if you actually got help for your actual issues and got medicated and didn't talk about explicit shit about a dude on your workplace...

Also, good to know that her beef with tcvern came not from a moral high horse but because tcvern is more popular than her otp, sophvern.

Going though my backlogs means we already got the conclusion to some of these.

I dont think sophist would block her and from the sounds of it sounds like he didnt. He is unfortunatly way to nice about stuff like this. From the little exiso told us he was understanding to a extent. Before he read it atleast.

I dont think hed dm her again or anything but that block would be a nice reality check.

Exiso would kept her fucking job and commisions with the boys if she kept all that shit on a private acct. if she had a yume alt, where all that sophist shit could go. Shed be chilling right now.

(And didnt do wierd shit around teens. But yknow)

She flew to close to the sun just like icarus and is freaking out cause she fell to the ground.

Truly hate ship beef i dont get it. Like why must two bad bitches fight. Sophist, nick and vern can all date right now. Thier smooching as we speak

[aroaceleovaldez]

yknow i was gonna make a post about how happy I was to see the show acknowledge adhd/dyslexia/learning disability stuff and the way they handled and showed Percy's experience with that system, and how it influenced his reactions to things. But i'm honestly glad I didn't because WOW the show completely ditched all of that immediately. There was set-up for a really interesting arc about the demigods = neurodivergence metaphor and "You are singular" (pun off of "half-blood"/"demigod" and a very direct rejection of the "puzzle" metaphor for things like autism) and a very quick acknowledgement in like episode 2 of an off-hand "oh yeah all demigods are like that (adhd/dyslexic)" and then. nothing. absolutely nothing.

heck, they even changed the design of the zoo van (in the books very explicitly a black van with white text, which Percy notes specifically because white-on-black text is more dyslexia-friendly) which is a personal affront to me because That's My Dyslexia-Friendly Van, How Dare You.

i know some people have argued that maybe Annabeth pausing in the store was supposed to be her having a dyslexia moment, but if it was then we would have gotten the Dyslexia Effect™ on the text (and dont tell me they didn't have the budget for it cause HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR BUDGET FOR THE SHOW? They clearly haven't been using all of that). It's almost definitely supposed to show that Annabeth hasn't been in mortal spaces in a very long time and is, yknow, a kid, being indecisive of which snacks to buy.

i have said it before and i'll say it again: the core of PJO is disability. You can never remove that, or else it is no longer PJO. The heart of the series will always be a story made for an ADHD/dyslexic kid to help them learn about and be interested in mythology, and if you stray from that it's going to be very noticeable very fast. Almost every character in PJO has a learning disability. The entire series is framed as a way to introduce kids to mythology in a fun way and emphasize those themes of mythology being important even in modern day with how it still affects our lives, to ask you to look at what lessons we can still learn from these myths and how they apply to modern lives, and that you can be a hero not despite your disability, but alongside it. That is the core of PJO, always and forever. And the show failed that.

[faggy-thing]

Er hallo!! Im pretty new to the otherkin stuff and you ABSOLUTELY dont have to answer this, but what is a psychological kin? I've seen the term before but not an explanation

I've tried looking up answers but nothing clarifying comes up

Again, you don't have to answer but yknow, thought id try!

(hope you dont mind emoji sign offs :3 i def plan to request a wallpaper/moodboard in the future X3) - 🚧

hi, this is a perfectly fine question! I’m not an expert on this kind of stuff, but I’ll try :)

psychological kins identify with something in a psychological way, such as mentally or behaviourally, and interpret their identity psychologically. this identity can be partial or whole.

the causes for this identification can be due to neurodivergency (such as autism, adhd, etc.), imprinting (when someone spends their time more with animals and thus feel more connected with them), unconscious defence mechanisms (like behaving more animalistic and instinctual due to hardships and trauma when younger, and never really growing out of that mentality), dualism (accepting that humans have a more animalistic side to them, and embracing that aspect and identity), and other reasons.

for me, my identification as being a psychological therian are due to imprinting, neurodiversity, and dualism. I grew up behaving a lot like different animals (specifically dogs), and spent a lot of time engaging with animals and animal related media. this interest (which was probably my first and longest lasting special interest) stayed with me my whole life, and due to my neurodivergency, I struggled to understand and communicate effectively with humans, and would much rather be around animals and nature. this kind of stuff most likely shaped me into realizing I was an alterhuman, and has and will probably continue to stay with me my whole life.

of course, I’m not the sole expert on this subject (I wouldn’t even consider myself an expert), so anyone seeing this can add in any info you see fit. thanks for reading, and I definitely don’t mind emoji send-offs, they’re great :D

- 🐕

[cluster-b-culture-is]

hey!!! if its ok i’d like you’re thoughts on something ig and to sorta ask you something

so im bodily 15 atm, and i have cptsd. when i look at posts regarding certain cluster b experiences (possibly some cluster c aswell) i relate a LOT (obviously im not saying that bc i relate that i have these disorders, i just kinda have a feeling that *something* is going on). its tricky bc i keep looking into things and i cant really find an answer. i also dont know if im too young and that its just because im a teenager.

i wont get into like what “symptoms” i experience rn bc i feel like thats a whole other conversation but yeah.

i hope i dont sound like one of those people that are like “i must have x bc i related to a silly video i saw” im just really confused and i feel like something aint right

i know you’re probably not professionals so feel free to delete or ignore this if its too much, but if not, what do you think?

So, here's the thing (and we will attempt to avoid being patronizing): It is absolutely correct that your age and emotional/psychological development can affect things, and that the process of development can cause things that look like mild symptoms. It's also correct that that combined with c-ptsd (and any other disorders you may have; you'd be surprised how many symptoms and comorbidities autism, ADHD, NPD, and BPD all share) can make it extremely hard to determine where your symptoms are coming from and whether there might be something more.

(You're also correct that we are not professionals; this is all coming from our own research and personal experiences, so as with everything, take this with a grain of salt.)

However. I would argue that it would be far more harmful to deny any possibility of having a personality disorder until you reach some arbitrary age threshold than it would be to say that you do have a PD. Especially if looking at your life experiences through the lens of having a PD is helpful, and if resources for pw/[x]PDs are helpful to you. Even if you don't end up having a PD, that doesn't mean you were just a hormonal stupid teenager refusing to listen to the Adults™ or whatever the fuck--it means that you looked at your experiences, found something that seemed similar, and it turned out that you were wrong; but hopefully, along the way, you found things that were helpful.

Under the assumption that you have done a lot of research, I would personally recommend saying that you have traits of a particular disorder as opposed to saying you have the full disorder, and that is to two ends: one, a lot of adults with PDs (especially in ASPD spaces, if that's one of the disorders you're looking at) will kick your shit to hell and back if you even insinuate that you think you may have the full disorder (which I think is extremely counterintuitive if we want teenagers to understand their experiences and, yknow, not develop a full-blown personality disorder, regardless of whether you think teenagers can have a full personality disorder); and two, it might help you target the specific symptoms that you're experiencing without saddling you with the belief[/knowledge] that you have an incredibly stigmatized and lifelong disorder.

A lot of this stuff depends on a few things: (A) what your symptoms are (and if they can be better explained by other things, especially other things you know you have); (B) how severe your symptoms are (like the difference between being generally grouchy versus being actively hostile); and (C) how long your symptoms have lasted (if they only started popping up in the past few months or the past year versus if you've had them for years and years).

If you end up not having a personality disorder, anon, I think it will still be better for you in the long run to explore the possibility instead of shrugging it off under the excuse that you're "too young". It could turn out that you never had the disorder and it really was something else, it could turn out that you have traits but not the full disorder, or, hell, it could turn out that, by using resources and support you found by being part of communities surrounding PDs, you ended up not developing the full PD (even if you may still have a few traits)--because, at this age, you are still developing, and you are changing a lot, and very little is set in stone when it comes to these types of things--and you should absolutely take advantage of that! And even then, speaking from a more selfish perspective, it will never be a bad thing for more people to understand what it may be like to have a personality disorder.

For a bit of actionable advice on determining whether or not you may have one, though:

(1) Do your research. Obviously it's great that you're getting information from people with the disorders themselves by looking at PD communities; however, not everything having to do with the disorder will be talked about, and quite honestly, Tumblr is a terrible place to find definitive information on the PDs. Life experience? Yes. Actual information looking at how the disorders work and what they can entail in full? Ehhh, not quite. Look at a variety of academic sources, but in the same vein, keep your wits about you--professionals aren't immune to ableism, and may often perpetuate it with glee. Some of it may be obvious, some of it might not be.

(2) Keep an eye on your symptoms--make a manual check against the actual criteria every once in a while (but keep in mind that the DSM is also deeply flawed and biased); @shitborderlinesdo has a ton of checklists based on the DSM and individual testimony that can help. We first started questioning ASPD when we were 14, and we'd do those kinds of manual checks once every several months or once a year or so. It both helps you understand what your symptoms are, and helps you keep track of how you're doing over time. Don't use online quizzes for this; quite honestly, they're not really good for anything except validation if you know you'll get a high score.

(3) Look at stuff other than personality disorders, too, and try to figure out why your interest skews towards specific disorders. For a long ass time, we believed we had StPD and did our absolute best to ignore any information to the contrary, because (due to our symptoms) if it wasn't StPD, the only thing it could be otherwise was schizophrenia, and we were scared shitless of the idea; at first because we were scared of the idea that our symptoms might've been so severe, but eventually because we were afraid to admit that we were wrong. (As I've said before, no shame in being wrong--do as I say, not as I do.)

Ultimately, I can't stop you from doing anything, and I can't force you to do anything either. I'm just a mentally ill guy with an internet connection. My life experiences have led me to this conclusion, and others may disagree with it--that's perfectly fine. Again, I am not a professional. You know yourself and your experiences the best, and I think by this point, you have enough understanding of yourself and the world to be able to figure out what'll be best for you and your health, given that you have the proper resources to do so. You are a being with life experience, even if it's less than others may have; you aren't a rock, and you aren't a three year old who still hasn't realized that touching the lit stove will equal a burned finger. I personally think that the way a lot of folks go about talking to and about teenagers who think they may have personality disorders is, frankly, infantilizing and invalidating, and it just ends up with traumatized and unsupported teenagers turning into traumatized and unsupported adults, with the added bonus of an extra helping of imposter syndrome to top it all off.

I hope you're doing well anon, and I hope you see this (sorry for responding so late lmao). Off into the world ye may go, hopefully with a bit more knowledge and idea of what to do next than you had before.

[fictionkinfessions]

still can't deal with the fact i'm so-called canon divergent. Maybe cause i'm so far, after almost 1 year of being in the system, the only one with memories. It just, it doesn't feel like being "different from canon", yknow? It just.. it feels like "canon" is entirely wrong in itself and what I remember is what's the right telling of the story.

i'm "canon divergent" because of the abuse i experienced from the red man everybody ships me with.

i'm "canon divergent" because i'm transmasc and apothiromantic apothisexual. aka repulsed aroace.

i'm "canon divergent" because i'm disabled (and mentally ill) with autism, adhd and probably BPD and CDD too.

you call it canon divergent. i call it the truth. parts of me that were cut away or sealed forever for nobody to hear apart from if i tell them. but when i do it's played off as something else.

I wish to give a message to any Eddsworld fan out there, whether fictionfolk of any kind or not;

Please, please don't take everything that i supposedly said in the show - whether a decade or as of sending this, a few hours ago - as the truth or something i, specifically i would say.

I'm not an ableist. I would not enjoy suddenly looking female again. I'm repulsed towards any kind of attraction. And the emphasis on "i'm" is not because i'm source separating or something - it's because i know there's many others out there and i don't want to limit my experiences to be what everyone else must have experienced too. but also if you do are ableist, maybe take some therapy to get out of that mindset, please.

do the recent rather questionable things i've been showed to do or said recently make my source officially problematic now? or controversial? or maybe just "my canon", or how i like to call it, my truth? perhaps it's always been controversial for fictionfolk specifically? i dont know.

but i surely won't source seperate. i'm still The Guy. just different from what's being presented to you. i'd like to tell my story someday, but i believe i still have a loooong way ahead of me finding the right people to tell this stuff to. Apart from this blog obviously, oops. I don't know anyone personally here, probably, but y'all are the best. so, thanks for sharing your stories and thoughts.

-Tom, fictive (Eddsworld) #☄️🌌💫

2

[blueskiesfillmymind]

I should probably make an introduction post soo,, here goes!

Name - Whiskey / Iris

Pronouns - Any [Prefer He/They]

Labels - Bisexual + Pangender + Fictoromantic + Fictosexual!! Mild ADHD

F/Os - Blue [Blue's story - Main Sexual / Romantic?]

Kinito [Kinitopet - Platonic F/O]

Gregg / hh [hhgregg - 3rd Romantic F/O]

I like art and animation! I'm self taught and I've been improving all on my own! I have a yt channel under the name "WhiskeyTheWiz" I believe,, have fun watching !

TAKE NOTE: This is a PERSONAL blog with some of my PERSONAL thoughts, because I reblog things dosnt mean I want people to try and use any of my F/Os as a way to target me, but pLEASE- if you're a minor then I suggest you leave since not only does this blog contain sensitive topics

Aswell as my blog having uhm... not so safe for work stuff..?? I'm hypersexual so dont bash me pls ;w;

Blue's story is a gacha series on youtube by the creator "Victation", a french animator whose mostly famous because of his character "hal" and other ocs, but has since been cooking thanks to blue's story being his first mature step into spreading awareness on such a topic,

Blue's story is about a man named "Blue" who is a S/A [his office abusers: Pink / Red / Purple] and COCSA victim [Thanks to lavender, his older sister]

The series itself is about spreading awareness on such abuse and it can be quite sensitive if you choose to watch it, the topics obviously are about s/a but other such issues like

Suicide and how victims react and feel after said abuse, If you ARE sensitive to such topics I strongly advise you not to follow or interact with this blog, as I dont wish to trigger anybody nor start more discomfort about it, this blog may be a self shipping blog but I'm finding comfort in such, yknow?

DNI IF U SHIP BLUE X LILAC !!!! PLSPLSPLS ITS RLLY UNCOMFY IF U DO !!!

Blue is my beloved and forever will be, my beautiful blublu, he will never be afraid ever again, I'll protect him !!

Please be aware that I myself am a victim of s/a and I'd like to get the same respect,, either way I dont wish to cause discourse!! Let's be positive! Love you all !! /p

Now if you'll excuse me, my gorgeous blueberry requires sloppy make outs

[purble-gaymer]

i need to talk about falspar before i explode

okay so here’s the guy we’re talking about plus information that will be important going forward:

number 1. he is genderfluid and uses any pronouns but primarily he/him

number 2. he is aro/pan (but he doesn't know the aro part for a while)

number 3. autism adhd and a healthy dose of rejection sensitive dysphoria

without further ado, here is my lore dump

(also: warnings for child neglect and drug use)

for the sake of structuring my thoughts i'm gonna pull from a couple songs that have been fueling all this. i know it's cliche to have mother mother in character playlists but you have to trust me okay. because it's ball cap and touch up and the album they're from is dear to my heart

let's talk about astrals. in case you thought otherwise, this is going to be very headcanon-heavy so i'm opening with my hardest hitter and that's astral reproduction.

option 1: mitosis. can only be performed once due to the unstable nature of void creatures

option 2: random birth as a result of the random collision of light matter particles in space

in the case of option 2, the newborn usually just drifts around until they get caught in a planet's orbit and pulled to the ground. in the case of either option, they imprint on the first creature they see. only really a problem for option 2.

falspar here is option 2. he landed on mekkai before the whole planet became industrialized, which happened gradually during his time there. (additional note before i forget to put it anywhere: mekkai's vernacular is derivative of german because german is like 'the science language.' he grows up speaking both common and this yet-to-be-named vernacular.) when he's eventually found, he ends up in foster care because astrals live for a really long time and most species on mekkai aren't able to take care of someone for that long. he has no memory of whoever he may have imprinted on, but it never mattered to him that much.

(even if it's always felt like something was missing.)

so here's my first pull from ball cap:

I like the treetops 'Cause they're reaching just like me And I'm tied up in knots Like the brambles and the weeds

this stanza feels to me like it's from the perspective of a child. it feels like they're trying to fit in, or trying to understand why they struggle to fit in.

here's where some of that stuff i mentioned earlier comes in. all of it, actually, even if he didn't quite know all of it yet. 1, trans kid. astrals are born genderless and some ID otherwise later on. i imagine mekkai to be somewhat similar to human society, being so technologically advanced. something about colonialism and forcing the gender binary and now in the current day our young astral is very confused why everyone is trying to assign him an arbitrary label for something he doesn't have. of course it's too early for him to really question anything, but the confusion is always there.

2, welcome to my obligatory "you are aromantic" segment. wanna know how annoying it is to be aro in a romance-focused society? extremely! and that shit sticks with you forever unfortunately so you really have to try and unlearn it! this comes in more later and i'll talk about it then, but similar to point 1 there's the inkling that something is wrong, even if he doesn't know what just yet.

and 3, neurodivergent. here's where i insert my 'astrals are like cats' headcanon and tell you all astrals are autistic and there's nothing you can do to stop me. anyway, this is the bit that ties to this lyric the most at this point. yknow when you feel different and don't know why? or you do know why, and you're even more conscious about how you're just not like everyone around you? that's what this line is to me. reaching to understand your peers, but ultimately extending your arms and finding nothing in your grasp, just empty sky.

so, he starts not really fitting in anywhere. nowhere feels right. no one seems interested in him. he's loud, excitable, enthusiastic, but it seems to scare people off more than it invites them in. he moves between families a lot for the first few decades because, again, no one on mekkai is really equipped to deal with a kid who ages and matures ten times slower than the average person on the planet. this makes schooling especially bad--how do you even compensate for something like that? moving him up each year is far too fast, keeping him in the same grade for ten years is pointlessly excessive. it's complicated and he gets through it, but not without a lot of struggle. completing work always feels like a fight.

moving on: remember how awful it is being in your early to mid-teens? we're there now and all three things i mentioned before have only begun weighing on him more now that he's starting to understand them. societal pressure rolls around again! sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll being ostracized by your peers for not following the norm!

we can scratch that first one off the list because aro + terrified of emotional intimacy. the aro thing isn’t a problem but it is certainly confusing and he's like the equivalent of 16 at this point and has no fucking clue what any of that means. it sure as hell doesn't make him feel better about himself. second one's easy but we'll get to that in a moment. i only put the third one there for the joke but he probably does like rock. and the fourth is basically at the forefront of his thoughts the entire time.

this is about the time where he starts noticing things. a lot to do with his current family, mostly that...they don't really seem interested in him. no one ever has. he could never really make friends because they would all grow up and move on without him. his past family members cared about him, sure, but he always knew he would have to leave eventually, so he tried not to get attached. the longer he sits on this, the more sick of it he becomes. after a while he decides he's going to get someone's attention, whether it's good attention or not.

here's where the drugs come back. it's crazy what a little brain-altering substance can do. suddenly, you have no inhibitions, no fears, and falspar ends up with some friends for the first time. or at least, with people who don't find him unbearable to be around. he's not exactly close with any of them, but at least he's not alone, right?

here's another line that's relevant for this portion:

Oh, don't you know that beauty is only skin deep? Well, baby, baby, come on and skin me

his current state is a culmination of peer pressure, the weight of societal standards, and his refusal to really be vulnerable with anyone, only able to do so with great pain. this is a very confusing, very stressful period of one's life and everything that's happened up to this point is only making things worse.

but the drugs help. at least somewhat. he's able to talk to people. he can be normal for once. he goes along with his friends, and he's happy. at least, he's pretty sure he is. what starts as regular fun after-school activities starts to turn into some not-so-legal ones. but they're still pretty fun, he'll admit. the thrill practically gives him the same high as a smoke.

when his family hears, they aren't happy. falspar is, though. they start keeping a closer eye on him, making sure he gets home on time, and while he's still sneaking out with his friends from time to time, it's nice to know someone is wondering what he's doing.

it was nice for a while, at least. what he isn't ready for is after he became a legal adult, they asked him to leave. well, 'asked' is a gentle way to put it.

he manages to get ahold of a few closer friends who graduated recently and were living together in the next town over, and they invite him to stay with them. he's stressed at first, afraid of being a burden, finding a job as soon as possible to help out. after a few months, he gets more comfortable, and then...

freedom. for the first time, he doesn't feel...obligated to be one way or another. he works and helps around the house, and in the evening he and his friends hang out and smoke and play games and for once, he's happy. he really, really is, and the morning he wakes up and realizes it he decides it's time for a change. he cuts his hair and picks out a new name and he's finally started to understand himself.

i haven't said anything about touch up yet, so here's a bit from the bridge that i'm about to rip into:

I forget that I can remember when I was young, climbing up fences Scraping my knees, dirt on my cheeks Not one makeover queen bone in me

there's a stark contrast between falspar's younger self and who he becomes as he grows up. to address this stanza directly, there's the obliviousness that comes with being a child. there's no bigger picture, there's no pressure to be someone you're not, to pretend to be like the people around you for their approval. maybe something was off, but what did it matter? those problems seem so small now.

as he gets older, in comes the confusion, the isolation, the self-loathing. something was wrong, something, even if he didn't know exactly what, and it was excruciating. there had to be an answer, right? yet no matter how much he searched and fought, he could never find one.

and then, escaping all that, and being allowed to breathe freely. you have other problems now, sure, but all that weight is gone. somehow just the idea of being an 'adult' now opens up so many doors, and for the first time in, hell, maybe his entire life, falspar looks in the mirror and smiles back at the person he sees in it.

the repetition of the line "All my makeup, it has washed off" has two meanings in this context. the first, and more positive, being that he's able to do...anything, really. he can relax. unmask. he doesn't have to perform for anyone. he can remove the paint and be himself and for once he's not going to be forced to conform. it doesn't matter what other people think, you are alive, why shouldn't he be able to live authentically?

the second relates to his younger self again. this whole song feels like the buildup to a breakdown, eventually coming to a close with the constant repeat of "I need a touch up/give me the touch up," and one finally slam on the guitar, the exhausting aftermath playing out as it slowly fades to nothing. losing that mask is devastating, he can't be seen without it, he'll be cast out again, discarded, abandoned, and he can't let that happen, not now, not after everything. and once it's over, he's left alone, in the dark, too afraid to turn to anyone no matter how badly he wants to.

okay. this is getting really long and i'd love to add how he gets to the gsa here, but i think i've said enough. i'm done with the song analysis at this point, too, so i'll have to talk about it some other time.

YEESH feels good to get all that out of my system. if you've made it to the end of this, thank you so much for reading. it means a lot. can you tell i really really like this guy?

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

Yknow what. I’m not done complaining about dc. I started bitching in the tags of my prev post & i have more feelings. I get a stack of dc every month & we’ll take the vertigo (i refuse to call it anything else if only cause it’s shorter) stuff out i still have like 6 titles a month. That is if dc decides they’ll actually put out a jsa issue that month. The ones I’m most excited to read rn? Flash, Birds of Prey, & Green Arrow. Why? Cause the characters feel like the characters i fell in love with & the story is actually compelling. Yes, green arrow is suffering hard from the crossover shoehorning but the whole physically cannot occupy the same time and space as the people you love is a legit issue for Ollie & fascinating gotcha from Merlyn. Like, it’s novel! And I’m curious to see how it shakes out. The weird string theory/comic book physics around the speed force that spurrier is doing in flash is honestly REALLY cool. I’ll be the first to say i couldn’t care less about the speed force. It works cause it’s plot the only reason the flashes study it is cause they’re a bunch of adhd scientists who can’t help themselves & the writers feel the need to put their stamp on it. The whole weird dimensions & alien beings & time cops is super strange but hella compelling & the way it’s affecting the characters & eroding their relationships which are so core to flash characters is really amazing I love how much it hurts. Truly i cannot wait to see how exactly this shakes out. Know what I don’t care for? Whatever the fuck Amanda Waller is doing. I, who normally hates “let’s study the speed force!” stories wishes we could get back to studying the speed force cause the whole ham fisted analogy crossover thing is so boring & not even original. I think dc has done this exact plot at least twice before. In main continuity. It pops up every couple years anymore & it will never be what the 80s x-men were & they need to just stop trying. And bop! I love bop right now! I could wax poetic about the art styles cause they’re stunning & SO expressive. In a post where I’m bitching about stories I’ll just leave it there. The story itself? Pretty interesting, if standard bop stuff at first. Gotta put a ragtag team of gals together to do something low key shady cause it’s the right thing. The team is a nice mix; tho I’m not sorry to see Harley go, she’s another character that I understand sells comics but I am so sick of seeing it is not even funny. It’s not even that I dislike her as a character I’m just over her being in every single comic. And the dimension hopping weird babs rescue mission? I’m in! Where we going next? What even is the reason? Sure, we just rescued sin in a very similar plot structure but idc! The writing is fun! The dialogue is fun! The page of Cass’s reactions to vixen’s lingerie options is BRILLIANT! Love the lineup! It’s nailing what I think jsa is attempting but in a more fun & lighthearted tone. Tbh I’m not sure cause I’m still not sure what’s going on in jsa since they seem to publish it at will every like 3-5 months so I have no real clue what’s going on in that one. And I’ve been reading it for like 2 years now. I’m so tired of Nightwing & titans. I, a titans girlie, find it so boring. They’re both boring! From go they’ve been extensions of each other which is frustrating. Some moments in each I really enjoy! But overall? I still don’t see where Nightwing is going & tbh it feels like dick has spent this whole time doing nothing. Despite the fact that we were told he did so much he got a key to the city! He did adopt a dog. That’s like the most memorable & only real thing that he achieved. Cause the foundation? He’s a bat. They all do that. And titans? Oh wow. Another Raven goes evil story. Wow. How shocking. How original. Like honestly, is there some word on high at dc about the titans not being allowed to do a story that isn’t rehashing Judas contract or trigon? Cause I cannot be the only person bored with those being the only 2 titans plots anymore.