#cause they can’t remember it to type it in

[24hrsoda]

as the up and coming (and mostly well-liked) hero of Metropolis, Superman gets asked to attend a gala in the city for….he can’t even remember, but it’s important and there will be all types of rich people, Bruce included, and also, his crush Lois Lane will be there to cover a story for the Daily Planet. of course he agrees to be there.

however, Lex Luthor, the biggest Superman Hater in the world, will also be there

he tries his best to not glare at Lex from across the room and replay in his head every mean thing Lex has ever said to or about him, and he thinks he’s doing a good job, until Bruce pulls him aside and is like “Hey kid, that the guy that’s been giving you trouble?”

Clark BEGS Bruce not to get all protective and confront Lex, because it will just cause a scene and he’s trying very hard to show that he is not a threat and that people can trust Superman.

but this is Bruce he’s taking to. of course Bruce gets protective, but he can’t do anything outlandish or directly confront Lex about Superman related issues, so Bruce “accidentally” bumps in to Lex and spills his glass of red wine down the front of Lex’s white suit, and then manages to “accidentally” knock Lex’s own glass out of his hand, also spilling that glass directly on to Lex’s suit.

He manages to make it seem like a complete accident but Clark knows that it was intentional, and he is internally giddy because Lex deserves a little bit of embarrassment. But he is there as Superman, and he has to be nice, so he offers to help Lex outside as quickly as possible, also sacrificing his change to talk to Lois Lane…

[fxstpace]

in the spirit of matrimony

summary: iwaizumi hajime is getting married and you and your ex, oikawa tooru, must pretend you’re still together to avoid ruining his big day. the charade, however, proves to be a lot more complicated than you thought.

pairing: oikawa tooru x fem!reader genres: romance, angst, exes to lovers!au, fake dating!au word count: 3.0k

↳ warnings: profanity, alcohol consumption ↳ a/n: reposted from my old blog (@/sokuroo). a little bit of info on some terms used: an izakaya is a type of informal japanese bar; oshibori is a wet towel offered at dining places used to clean one’s hands before eating; otoshi is an appetizer offered at izakaya

Oikawa Tooru is currently using the shower in your hotel room, and you are running late for dinner with Iwaizumi Hajime because of this.

You sit on the plush armchair in the corner of the room, picking at the raised swirls and curlicues embroidered on the cushion. You’re supposed to be meeting with Iwaizumi for dinner in fifteen minutes, but Oikawa seems to be taking his own sweet time getting ready. You can’t say you’re surprised. 

Irritated? Yes.

When he finally bursts out of the bathroom, looking like a Louis Vuitton model, you simply grab your purse and hotel card, and stride out the door without a second glance. Oikawa Tooru isn’t worth your time or energy—for now.

He catches up with you quickly—volleyball legs, and all that—and you can smell his perfume: Cremo spice and black vanilla. You hate the fact that you remember; you’d rather not, but he hasn’t changed the scent in five years and it’s always the little things that are the hardest to forget. In his black button down shirt and with his hair styled carefully with gel, Oikawa definitely looks attractive. He knows it, too, probably, and it gives you a twisted sort of satisfaction knowing that he can’t go about flirting with every person who catches his eye.

He simply cannot, because as far as Iwaizumi Hajime is concerned, you and Oikawa are still together.

“Don’t forget,” you mutter, just low enough that only he can hear you.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves his hand dismissively before tucking it back into his pocket. “It’s just Hajime. Don’t worry.”

You bite back a sigh. It would do you no good to appear so visibly vexed—and it would cause Hajime to worry unnecessarily, which does a lot more harm to everyone involved. The only thing you want him to be worried about is wedding preparations and becoming a husband in three days. 

Your old friend meets you at the hotel lobby, right before Oikawa furtively slips his hand into yours. Iwaizumi looks tired—his clothes look rumpled and he has dark circles under his eyes—but he still smiles at you and Oikawa in the same way: boyish and crooked. You grin back at him.

“Hey, you two.” Iwaizumi opens his arms and pulls you in for a hug. His stubble brushes against your cheek, and you frown. 

“You’re growing a beard?” you ask incredulously, when you pull away.

He chuckles. “I wish. I need to look handsome on the day of the wedding. Akari thinks it makes me look rugged.” He shrugs and adds, “Personally, I can’t tell the difference.”

“How’s Mrs. Iwaizumi doing?” Oikawa cuts in. He smiles at his best friend, a quick flash of his teeth that you haven’t seen in ages. It almost makes you wish he still smiled at you like that. Almost.

“Akari’s great,” Hajime answers, the edges of his smile turning fond. His fiancé is truly the sweetest, and she’s perfect for Iwaizumi in ways no one else ever could be. It’s difficult to doubt their love, and you consider yourself lucky to have witnessed them falling for each other in college. “Really great, actually. She told me to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t make it today, but she can’t wait to see you both tomorrow.”

Your ex-boyfriend sighs dramatically. “Iwa-chan. The only entertaining person of the evening is missing. Whatever shall I do?”

“I’m sure your girlfriend will provide ample entertainment, Oikawa,” Hajime deadpans.

Your cheeks flood with heat at the implication. You’re the furthest thing from being Oikawa Tooru’s entertainment tonight, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s laughing internally at the predicament.

“She’s good at entertaining me with other things,” he retorts, waggling his eyebrows in that infuriating way of his. “Not funny enough, unfortunately.”

You bristle. “Uncalled for, Oikawa.”

He turns to you—the first time he’s looked at you properly since you arrived at the hotel in their hometown—and, taking your hand in his, rubs his thumb along the back of your palm. You nearly shiver; Oikawa used to do that all the time when you were still together, and the small gesture now makes a lump form in your throat. 

“Just kidding, babe,” he says indulgently. “You know I make up for the lack of humour on your part.”

You have to give it to him. Oikawa Tooru is a magnificent actor. 

The way he talks to you, as though both of you hadn’t walked out of the hotel room without saying a word to each other is a feat in itself. He speaks to you as though nothing has changed, as though everything about the way you’re projecting yourselves to your friend is completely natural. You close the hole in your chest where Oikawa used to reside; you will not fall for his little antics—not when he chose to leave you alone.

You roll your eyes, meeting Hajime’s fond—if exasperated—gaze. “Ignore him.”

“I’ve been doing it my entire life,” he responds.

“You are mean and I hate you both,” Oikawa whines. Both of you ignore him.

“Let’s go,” Hajime says. “The izakaya gets really crowded later in the night.”

You wipe your hands on the soft cotton of the oshibori, scanning the menu taped onto the wall. Next to you, Oikawa digs into the otoshi, and in front of you, Hajime sips on his glass of beer. 

“Yakisoba noodles sounds good,” you murmur, “don’t you think?”

“I wan’ the chmmkn kraagh,” Oikawa says immediately through a mouthful of potato salad.

Iwaizumi sighs and translates, “He wants the chicken karaage.”

You scowl. You and Oikawa Tooru can never agree about things. You’re both too stubborn and hot-headed to budge from your opinions, and towards the end of your relationship, the number of petty arguments that were a result of your clashing personalities was high. At one point of time, you might have said that it was one of Oikawa’s qualities that you admired.

Right now, it just irks you to no end.

“We can order both,” you suggest. “Don’t talk with food in your mouth.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. He makes a show of swallowing, exaggerating the bob of his throat, before he turns to you and states, “I want the chicken karaage, and I know Iwa-chan likes it more than yakisoba noodles.”

“Actually,” Hajime says mildly, “I kind of want the sashimi.”

“Let’s just order all three.” You bring your glass of beer to your lips and take a sip.

Iwaizumi looks curiously between you both. You take another sip of your beer, and you come to the realisation that for an outsider—like Hajime—you and Oikawa look absolutely nothing like a couple.

The fault is yours: You didn’t tell Hajime about your break up with Oikawa, and neither did he. Hajime still thinks you’re together. Neither you nor your ex-boyfriend are tactless enough to tell him that you aren’t dating anymore three days before he’s getting married. Iwaizumi is excited, and you aren’t about to dampen his happiness by telling him his two best friends haven’t spoken to each other in months.

That’s how, for the first time in ages, you and Oikawa Tooru decided that you couldn’t ruin Iwaizumi Hajime’s Big Day, and it was also how Operation: Pretend Like You’re Madly In Love So Your Surprisingly Intuitive Best Friend Doesn’t Feel Bad came about.

You set your beer down again, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Can I try some of that?” you ask, nudging Oikawa’s shoulder with yours.

He pauses mid-chew, chopsticks held high in the air. “Sure.”

You nudge his shoulder again, a little bit more forcefully this time. Oikawa glares at you. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to send him some sort of telepathic signal. His eyes widen.

“Here, babe,” he says, plastering a grin on his face. He picks up a chunk of the creamy potato salad that was served as the otoshi and holds it up. He uses his thumb and pointer finger to gently bring your face closer to his chopsticks. You fist your fingers, nails cutting crescents into your palms, and accept the mouthful he holds out to you.

“Good?” Oikawa murmurs, his eyes not leaving your face.

You hum. It is good, rich and tart with a touch of sweetness, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to verbalise it. Your gaze flits downwards as you gently pull away from his grasp. Your jaw tingles where he held it.

Iwaizumi grins at you—almost knowingly—when you pick up your beer again. He holds a hand up, calling for the waiter to take your orders.

The alcohol washes down the taste of the food, but your heart is about to leap out of your throat.

It is always alcohol that loosens your tongue, and it’s the same for Oikawa Tooru as well. The beer you had at the izakaya lowers the towering walls between you both somewhat. It’s easier to speak to him, now, and after you switch on the lights in the hotel room and kick off your sandals, you whirl around and face Oikawa.

“What the hell was that?” you seethe, glaring at your ex-boyfriend.

He pauses in the middle of taking off his shoes. “What the hell was what?”

“You almost blew our cover! Didn’t you see the way Hajime looked at us?”

Oikawa cocks his head to the side, and his cluelessness only infuriates you even more.

“God, you haven’t changed one bit!” you rant. Your chest heaves with emotion—you’re not sure what emotion, exactly. Anger? Resentment? Foolish hope? Or perhaps a cocktail of all three that causes you to feel nothing but confusion. “Hajime is getting married in two days, and I know you couldn’t care less, but for his sake, can’t you make this whole—whole act more believable?”

“You— What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” Oikawa’s eyebrows raise upwards incredulously. “You think I don’t care about Iwaizumi’s wedding? I met him before I even knew you existed.” He scoffs. “Of fucking course I care!”

“Then would it kill you to act like you still love me?” You take a step forward, eyes narrowed and index finger pointing at him. “Is that it? Is it so repulsive to pretend like you still have feelings for me, so that your best friend doesn’t worry about us?”

“That’s not it, and you know it,” Oikawa snarls, a frown marring his features. “We should’ve told him as soon as it happened.”

Hearing him refer to your relationship as it feels like a slap to the face. You falter, cursing yourself inwardly.

Of course he doesn’t care for you now. Why would he, after he decided that long-distance relationships were too much effort? I don’t see us working out in the long run, he’d explained over FaceTime. I’m sorry.

Two days later, you declared yourself officially single. You burrowed yourself in piles of work and forgot to tell Iwaizumi Hajime because talking to Hajime would remind you of Oikawa, and you weren’t ready for that yet. Eventually, you just… didn’t tell him.

That’s why it came as an unwelcome surprise to you when you walked into the hotel lobby and found Oikawa Tooru waiting there, with his arms crossed over his chest and his suitcase by his feet. You’re here, he’d said, and you wanted to punch yourself for the way your heart somersaulted in your chest.

You finally find your voice again. “But we didn’t, so would it kill you to just… not be so fucking obvious?”

Oikawa remains stoic, though you suspect he’s just as agitated as you are. “Yes. I don’t want to do this at all.”

Something in you breaks. How easy it is for Oikawa to break your heart. You’d given him the fragile thing, made of glass, and he had knocked it over like it was a house of cards more than once. 

“Fine,” you grit out, bending down and picking up your footwear again. The alcohol buzzing in your head isn’t enough—you need to stop thinking, need to find some way to stop yourself from constantly imagining him. “See if I care.”

You shoulder past him and place your hand on the doorknob.

“Where are you going?”

If you really strained your ears, you could almost hear the imperceptible concern in Oikawa’s voice. You brush it off; he doesn’t have any feelings towards you, as he’s made so amply clear.

“Why do you care?” you retort, before pushing open the door and heading in the direction of the hotel restaurant’s bar.

The room is dark when you open the door.

It’s a little past one in the morning—or so one of the bellhops had said when he kindly escorted you back to your room. Your mind is swirling.

It seems even getting yourself batshit drunk isn’t enough to eradicate all thoughts of Oikawa.

The walls spin. You stumble inside. Your hip bumps against something solid—a table, probably—and you let out a startled yelp. 

Oikawa’s voice is like a balm, soothing your feverish forehead, when he says your name.

How are you supposed to get over him? How are you supposed to go back to living alone when you’ve had this taste of what it could be like, regardless of how authentic it is?

The answer is clear as day: You cannot.

A pair of hands guides you by the shoulders to the bed. Oikawa is careful, gentle with his hold on you. You sprawl on the bed sheets, the fabric cool against your cheek. He appears like an outline in the darkness. 

“Are you okay?”

“God,” you mumble, screwing your eyes shut. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Oikawa.”

He remains silent for a moment, before he clears his throat and says, “You asked me why I care about where you go.”

You don’t say anything.

“I just do,” he continues, “and I don’t know how to explain it. But I do care.”

His fingers are warm when he caresses your cheek. The last thing you do before succumbing to sleep is murmur his name—a curse, but somehow reverent.

When you wake up the next morning, the sheets next to you are rumpled. There is no sign of Oikawa anywhere in the room, but there is a tall glass of water placed on the bedside table.

Through the pounding of your head, you squint at the note written using the hotel stationery placed beside it. 

Drink up. Hajime and Akari are bringing us breakfast.

Breakfast is a lively affair. You’re glad to see Akari again, happy to see the to-be-newlyweds so patently in love with each other.

Oikawa keeps his hand on your thigh, steady and comforting, and offers you golden smiles whenever you catch his eye, and you swallow down the awful lump in your throat.

The day passes by in a blur.

It’s on the day before Iwaizumi’s wedding that Oikawa Tooru kisses you.

Wedding photos are unnecessary, you think. After all, you’re not the one getting married. But Akari had been insistent that you and Oikawa take some pictures together, and you couldn’t refuse her beseeching gaze.

Oikawa, clad in his dapper suit, with his hair styled using copious amounts of hair gel, places his hands on your waist and draws you in. His fingers bunch up the material of your dress. The photographer asks you to place your hands on his chest. His heartbeat is a steady thrum underneath the pads of your fingertips. 

“Is this okay?” he whispers, leaning in. 

You nod.

His mouth tastes like spearmint and the chocolate muffins he’d shared with you at breakfast. 

The afternoon passes by in a daze.

As you walk through the wedding venue, noting all the decorations and the flower arrangements, Oikawa slips his hand into yours. 

“You don’t have to,” you say. “No one’s here to see us.”

“I want to,” he replies simply. He is serious now, not his usual boisterous self, the way he is around Hajime and Akari. “It’s a nice place, no?”

You press your lips together. His words are oddly reminiscent of what he said the night you were drunk. Your stomach twists into knots, but if you don’t ask him the one question that has been nagging at you since then, who will do it for you?

“Tooru,” you say.

He stiffens. It’s the first time you’ve used his first name since you broke up with him.

“Why didn’t you tell Hajime we broke up?” you ask.

His shoulders loosen and his mouth twists upwards in a crooked, sad sort of smile. 

“Because I love you, and breaking up with you broke me in some way.”

Your voice is quiet when you ask, “Why did you?”

“I didn’t want to be the one holding you back,” he says, just as quietly. “I didn’t want you to be constantly worrying about someone who didn’t even live in the same country as you. You deserve someone who will be there for you. Someone you can come home to after work, and talk about your day, and cook dinner together with. I couldn’t give you that.”

You want to hit him and kiss him at the same time. What a stupid, idiotic fool you’re in love with.

“Silly,” you say. “I only want you.”

The wedding happens on a sunny afternoon, and it is beautiful. Akari is radiant, and Hajime tells her that he’s the luckiest man ever. They are in love, and looking at them doesn’t hurt anymore. Your ex-boyfriend turned current boyfriend presses his shoulder against yours and gives you a small, knowing smile when he catches you almost tearing up. You nudge him back, and his smile grows into a grin that envelops his face in gold.

(“You’re the golden one,” he’ll tell you later, pressing feather-light kisses to your collarbones and cheeks. You’ll say he’s wrong.)

Right before the crowd disperses, Oikawa takes your hand and brings it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss against the knuckle of your ring finger.

Later, he whispers to you that it’s all in the spirit of matrimony.

Oikawa Tooru is using the shower in your bedroom, and he’s running late to catch his flight back to Argentina, and everything is perfect.

[itsjudesthings]

red flag and green flags of Jude based on his mannerisms and vibes : green flags: romantic, touchy, would give you countless hugs, loves to cuddle, love amusement parks, loves chilling at home, has only like 2 real best friends so he will dedicate a lot of time to you, will dedicate goals to you, is the type to take care of the bill ( I mostly think this because I don’t think he would make Toby split when he goes to eat with him since he obviously has more money and can handle it) , will let you borrow his clothes ( I also think this cause he lets Toby use his clothes🤣), will want you to talk to him A LOT, he looks like the type to hold your purse or give you a piggy back ride dkw), he will constantly send you tiktoks( I think this because his alleged reposts are sometimes the same as toby’s so I’m guessing they send each other TikTok’s), will always take pictures of you together ( he takes a lot of selfies so ..), THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RN🚩 RED FLAGS 🚩 will be very clingy( he’s always hugging up on someone ) , will be very possessive, ( he’s very protective of his family and calls them his three hearts so just imagine what your heart will be to him), has a bit of history of alleged flings,( at the end of day this could be false cause I saw somewhere that Gabriela was a school friend of Toby or they met in college can’t remember but someone showed a facebook pic of her very young and Toby so idk, but I can’t explain other flings like hotel girl and the Mayweather ex girl so who knows what true or not ), will be sassy ( needs no explanation) , he will never say it’s his fault ( he literally never doesn’t argue with referees), he would be very territorial ( he’s litterly backs vini all the time ), you would prolly be his second mom 😭, he loves to be pampered, would need someone to cook his favorite meals, you would have to be the man in the relationship, prolly doesn’t know how to even wash the dishes, he would FaceTime you all the time to know where you at, looks like the type to not want pets, would manipulate you make him do what he says, would prolly mess up your plans because he wants more attention from you, he would prolly move fast in the relationship once you both are committed to each other, would not give you space sometimes when you need it and act like the victim, will prolly make you drive until he gets his license 😭 THATS IT for now . if you couldn’t tell i was bored 🥱

🙏🏽 (thank god you was bored)

[blizardstar]

All I’m saying is if we take the reason for the Discord username change as it’s given to us, it’s reasonable to assume nobody who works at Discord can remember their own phone number

[ilovebeingaturtle]

I love headcanoning that the whole Triceraton mind device severely messed with Don’s memory abilities but I also think he’s the type of person to be so hyperfocused on the present and future that he doesn’t even notice at first. Like it’s not until weeks later where he completely blanked out on a request Leo asked of him that morning or when he realises he can’t recall what their old home looked like anymore that he goes

“Uh. Well that’s not good…”

[acourtofquestions]

Since (haven’t read CC yet) 3 Maasverse main characters thus far are artists in one way or another (something I love in fandoms and especially these/Maasverse)

With:

Aelin the musician (composer/piano forte player) & appreciator of the arts. Fashionista. & semi-ballerina.

Nesta the dancer (a lil lovely scene tidbit I thought was freeing and mostly fun)

And of course Feyre THE Artist (& best example as this is crucial to how she sees the world).

Especially with the latter 2 in ACOTAR & our Archerons; even their father was a wood carver/sculptor… (let’s stick with the latter phrase… cause it’s too soon for carver to be heard as anything other than CREEPY “bone carver”😅) … so that leaves us with one; Elain.

Random HC here but: what if Elain’s a singer?

Specifically thought of this because of a certain other “singer in the series” ;-) *psst* Azriel the “shadowsinger” cause while I know that’s not what they meant, it sounds fun to me :-)

[stinkypeanutbutter]

me rn making an aiden angst fanfic and I’m literally dying over it I’m making him struggle fr

[silkhy-john]

TTGFHs as an allegory for colonisers and their actions—almost ALL their actions—as an allegory for colonisation in its many facets?

“More likely than you’d think” doesn’t BEGIN to cover it.

[alrunaaa]

trying out newer chhinkni for the first time! starting off small but holy shit this stuff packs a punch and literally takes the breath outta me lol. excited to use it more often!!! also lost my voice recently so my sneezes sound a little different than normal bahaha

cw: sneezing, sniffling, talking, and some panting/catching my breath

minors and non kink blogs dni

[phineasandferbtheories]

the fact that candace had the number of the chef that taught her mom’s cooking class is fantastic. are they friends? does she know his kid? is it for emergencies? did her mom know that he’d smash her phone and so she made sure her daughter still had a way to contact her? did he put it on an ad for the class and candace found it, on purpose or not? do phineas and ferb know it? does lawrence? many many questions and very few answers

[chaoswithcausation]

typical “character a visits b’s grave” of the “b’s ghost is listening” variety, but they are Not on the same wavelength

Character A: Things still aren’t the same without you. I feel like if I make one wrong move, everything will fall apart.

Character B, fully aware by now that nobody can hear them: wow that Sucks. have you tried eating a Snickers

Character A: Honestly, at this point… I kind of wish it would. That’s probably pretty selfish of me, wanting everything to go to hell just to be free of it.

Character B, who’s already heard this whole spiel before and is bored of it: penis blast delirious, penis blast mysterious, penis blast. uh. Hmm

Character A: I’m just so sick of feeling like the world’s on my shoulders all the time!

Character B: bi-curious! Penis blast bi-curious, penis blast… augh. I give up.

Character A: I don’t know how much more I can take of everyone unloading all their problems on me… heh, kind of like I’m doing to you, I guess.

Character B: Reese’s puffs Reese’s puffs, eat ‘em up eat ‘em up eat ‘em up eat ‘em up

Character A: I’ll leave you to your rest now. Sorry for disturbing you, and… thanks for listening, if you’re there.

Character B: (yelling after A) Make your next listener a therapist! Or at least somebody who has enough life in them to care!

[autumnhobbit]

amazed at how much knowledge about all kinds of plants people can have

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

xylem is such a fun word but i don’t see it used very often and i feel bad for it, so it’s going in the name list

xylem and phloem are the parts of plants that…i forgot what they do. they’re in the inside of the stem or something i think. they help transport water and such? maybe?

y’know my biology teacher was great but i don’t remember basically anything of what i was taught about plants because i was so stressed trying to figure out how the fuck photosynthesis works

[mcnuggyy]

just remembered the fucked up dream I had last night where like 99% of the population switched bodies with somebody else somewhere in the world, BUT you weren’t aloud to talk about it at all or say who you really are or what your actual body looks like or else the government(?) would fucking kill you, like there was cameras watching us at all times, and people getting shot in front of us was common, it was very dystopian… but it was kind of an unspoken fact that almost all the people who were doing the best job at pretending to be people they weren’t were all transgender for some reason?? to the point where a lot of us had found ways to talk about it without talking about it and could bypass the cameras and shit… and the like guy who was all behind it had to get involved eventually…and he like started interviewing some of us and finally once and for all had us talk about who we really were and it was very dramatic and emotional but I woke up like immediately after saying what I looked like and who I was so 🤷🏻 who knows what would have happened next LMAO

[princeofyorkshire]

me to my mom 4 years ago: i’m bisexual

my mom today: so you still don’t know if you like boys or girls?