#cause the username is just familiar enough that i feel like

[mxtxfanatic]

Hello mxtxfanatic, hope you're having a lovely day :)). Though once you've read the link I have sent to you, your day is gonna be ruined just a tiny little bit.

https://www.tumblr.com/snake-and-mouse/772604908966920192?source=share

Just a little warning, it's an outrageous post about Yu Ziyuan.

I would really like to hear your thoughts about the post. Enjoy 😉

You know what, anon? Since it appears I have this person blocked already and you describe this post as outrageous, I will have to pass on viewing it lol

[hannieehaee]

hi! who in svt would be more likely to be a camboy as a side gig/job? i feel like maybe seungkwan cause we all know he feels comfortable in front of the camera and is great at knowing what the public wants, or mingyu cause he loves showing himself off🤭 i initially thought about wonwoo cause he does gaming streams but he’s wayyyy to shy i feel like he would rather keep his intimate time private.

i don’t remember if i already asked this sorry if i alr did!

18+ / mdi

content: camboy!seungkwan, smut, masturbation (m receiving), no x reader but you can assume the chatter is reader, etc.

wc: 710

a/n: i can imagine both but seungkwan's just such a natural entertainer i had to pick him hehe

masterlist

lovergirl98: take the top off baby !!!

- tip: $25

"oh? this thing? but i picked it out just for you. want it off that bad? what does everyone else think? should i take it off?", seungkwan used his index finger to tease at the strap of his tank top, lowering it a bit to expose his shoulder to the audience.

his words combined by his actions caused an immediate flurry in the chat, having it fill up with various comments parroting the original request and even throwing in more money into the fire to ensure it happened. seungkwan chuckled at the insistence, biting his lip at how easy it was to get his viewers fired up.

within seconds, the top was thrown across the room, leaving him in just his boxers as he leaned back on the headboard of his bed.

even more comments showed up, with some begging him to do the same to his boxers while others tried to convince him to play with his nipples.

both orders were promptly followed after a little more teasing from seungkwan, tsk'ing at his chat for being so needy.

"oh ... looks like there's nothing else to take off," he pouted, "what do my needy kittens want now? should i ... play with my cock? is that what you want?"

lovergirl98: wanna see u cum, pretty. gimme a show?

- tip: $50

"lovergirl ... someone's a bit desperate today, huh? this is your fifth tip today. might have to give you a private show for that," he winked before letting his hand go further south, enveloping his swollen hardness with a hiss.

he knew that such comments would get other of his viewers to follow in your path and donate more. seungkwan was already familiar with your username, and he had a lot of fun paying extra attention to your comments. he couldnt help being an appreciative man for all your support.

seungkwan continued to caress himself, starting off with a soft and slow pace and increasing as more comments popped up in encouragement for him to go harder, go faster. kwan drank it all in, using his other hand to occasionally palm at his balls or caress at his bare chest.

lovergirl98: sooo pretty. gonna make me cum with u

- tip: $20

"yeah? wish i could see, pretty," he cried out in the midst of his upcoming high.

he teased himself a few times, getting himself to his high yet stopping right before actually orgasming. meanwhile, he continued to mutter dirty words to his viewers, earning himself rewards for giving them a show of his not-so private pleasure.

"f-fuck, gonna cum. i ... shit, it's so good, fuck. wish you were here to ... to take it for me," he mewled, playing it up a bit for whichever viewer wanted to take claim of him.

and luckily enough, at least ten people donated right at that moment, all in differing amounts and all sharing similar sentiments of wanting seungkwan's spunk either in their mouths or in other parts of their body.

maybe it was a little egotistical of him, but such desperate displays of need for him were enough to finally make him finish. he could see himself in the view finder, looking at the same view his fans had of him as he squirted his cum all over his stomach.

after that, heavy breaths filled the room, occasionally interrupted by pings indicating even more donations from his subscribers.

"hmm, you were so good for me. look at the mess you made me do," he chuckled as he looked through his comments one last time, too exhausted due to the overstimulation he'd inflicted onto himself.

with that, he closed the tab, deciding to put an end to the stream before he fell in another rabbit hole of an orgasm. but even then, private messages popped up, with endless offers of a private show in exchange of heftier donations than usual.

lovergirl was there as per usual, making seungkwan chuckle at the insistence. it was endearing, he had to admit. he considered for a bit, but decided to put it in the back burner before heading over to the bathroom to wash himself up. a smile of satisfaction remained on his face in the meantime.

maybe next time.

a/n: this was different since it wasn't very member x reader but i hope u guys enjoyed anyways!

[bakerstreethound]

Weariness & Passion

Relationship: Sherlock Holmes x gender neutral reader

Warnings: self-worth issues, soft kisses, random poems spewed, slight allusions to not wanting to live, and chaotic brain

Summary: Sherlock comforts you after a rough day and you want nothing more than to be near him, holding him close and kissing him.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, copy, repost, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username)

Word Count: 570

A/N: Hello lovelies. I am back again after some months. I hope you enjoy this little story I managed to jot down in another frenzy of articulating my thoughts. I miss this detective so much and his kisses would be so healing. Please enjoy! Graphic by @firefly-graphics Comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!

You pull Sherlock in by the lapels of his suit jacket and kiss him gently and he pulls you closer up against him, making you gasp just a bit and he drags his tongue along your lower lip. You deepen the kiss, his hands grip around you tightening, a hand stroking your lower back, causing shivers to follow in their wake. 

“Am I too much to love?”

“No. Because you believe you’re a monster does not mean it is true” 

“Are you certain?” 

“Yes, my love.” 

You kiss him harder, determined to push away the traitorous voices in your head, the ones telling you that you are undeserving of this affection, undeserving of such gentle true words. 

Unworthy of him. 

You want to light a match, let it burn this fire inside you, wrought with passion or shame you can't decipher. You’re tired of wanting to breathe in sharp cold air into your lungs. You’re surprised anything comes of it, heart holding fast to your failings, the reading and writing you never got around to, wasting more than enough time that could have been put towards other endeavors.

Worry not for I am here to help you, hold you, and ensure you worry not. What would you give to me that I don’t already have? My blood runs to hear those screams, the nightmares beholden unto you and me. The ones I never told you or don’t think I’ll have the strength to do so. 

You want to continue, forgo the chaos in your mind but it is so much easier to spiral these days, even when you’re in the arms of your beloved Sherlock. He holds you fiercely, sensing the change of tone in the air, the way you look at him.

He knows you’re feeling inexplicably guilty for this invisible thread wrapped around you tight choking you on the weight of your sins. Sins that never happened, conjured in the future you are not living in but created from the boulders settling heavily in your mind. 

He strokes your back, a small reminder to ground yourself. You breathe in the scent of him along his neck, the scent of home familiar and warm, welcoming you home on even the heaviest and drieriest days. Your heart slows down, shoulders relaxing, tension easing from your body into whisps of air, to be carried home back to the storm clouds from whence they came. 

You pull Sherlock in for another kiss, losing count not caring you need to lean on him in this moment and for longer. He obliges, his arms safe and warm around you as he bends down to carry you to your shared room.

Your chest twinges at the feeling, trying not to feel like a burden but you know if you say anything he will deny such a claim. That is a claim from your anxious mind. 

You deserve all the good things in this world despite what your mind spews at you, rearing its head in ugly moments such as this when all you want is to be welcomed in peace and tranquility.

It will always be there lingering but you can choose to ignore it. Which you do as Sherlock tucks you in bed with your favorite blanket before curling up next to you. 

You are fine all is well, and you are not too much to love. 

You can make it one day more. 

******

[cricketnationrise]

Took me forever to send you this because I couldn't decide which Beyoncé lyrics to send (if the ones I picked aren't inspiring, feel free to request different ones, there's so many to pick from!) so I hope i'm not too late 🙃 this is so fun, thank you for organizing this fest!

9:26pm, the brownstone, Alex Claremont-Diaz, "Private show with the music blasting / He like to call me Peaches when we get this nasty", rated E 😈

My Ao3 username is Calou 😊

fitting that you were right under the wire in submitting because it took me almost five months to get to this prompt. i hope its worth the wait!

a big thank you to everyone who submitted and to everyone who's been reading and commenting along the way. i love doing the ficlet fests, the prompts are always a delight and let me get out of any writing funk i find myself in. yall rock.

as a parting gift for Ficlet Fest 500, please enjoy exactly 1000 words of straight gay up filth, as requested in the GC.

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

9:26pm, the brownstone

Alex’s brain falls out of his head when Henry comes downstairs. He apparently took Pez’s dress code seriously for once; he’s dressed to fucking impress. (Alex is so far past impressed he’s having heart palpitations.) Henry looks good in everything, from a full suit to sweatpants, but when he lets himself relax, lets himself lean into being one hundred percent himself, he ascends to a whole other level.

His white shorts are going to be the death of Alex. They’re short, showing off strong calves and stacked, polo-playing thighs, and just this side of respectably opaque. But if there’s a strong enough backlight, anyone who isn’t intimately familiar with Henry’s particular topography, will be. The shorts would be enough to cause Alex a factory reset, but then he notices the shirt. It’s halfway unbuttoned, straining to accommodate Henry’s wide shoulders, and short enough in the torso that he’s baring midriff. And it’s one of Alex’s shirts. The novelty ice cream cone print has never looked so fucking good. 

Alex can see the tops of Henry’s hipbones—they’re mouth-wateringly obscene. Henry shouldn’t be allowed out of the house like this; he’s a danger to everyone around him. Drivers will run their cars off the road, pedestrians will walk into poles, et fucking cetera. Really, Alex has a fucking duty toward public safety to tackle Henry onto their couch and take him apart with his teeth. 

So he does.

Henry makes a noise somewhere between a squawk and a whimper and Alex wants to lick it out of his mouth. He captures Henry’s lips in a kiss as they land, barely letting him breathe, let alone put up a token protest because he feels like they should be social. Henry groans and melts into the cushions, letting Alex do whatever he wants. The trust Henry puts in him is heady, and Alex spirals that much higher when Henry throws his arms around Alex’s neck to keep him in place. His own hands are busy mapping every bit of exposed skin on Henry’s chest, slipping beneath Alex’s own fucking shirt to reach the scant inches that are still hidden below fabric. Alex takes advantage of Henry’s gasp of pleasure when Alex scratches lightly at his bicep to slip his tongue inside Henry’s mouth.

Both of them are already breathing hard, the sound of spit and panting filling the air. Alex manages to stop kissing Henry’s mouth, but only to nip down his throat, pausing at the pulse point to bite down. Henry always complains about having to be careful of covering the marks Alex leaves, but he never actually asks Alex to stop. (They were thirty minutes late to meet Nora for brunch last month when Alex caught Henry pressing down on a hickey in the bathroom and Alex had to bend him over the sink about it.) Henry’s moan at the graze of Alex’s teeth against his neck is a siren song; the way he tips his head to the side to give Alex more room, a gift from the gods. 

Henry pushes at his head, directing Alex with a pleading whine. Alex is only too happy to oblige, nipping and licking and sucking down Henry’s sternum, fingers fumbling to open the shirt. He spends a few minutes teasing Henry, alternating kisses with quick bites across his soft belly. Alex noses along his waistband, inhaling the scent of sweat and something uniquely Henry. Alex’s hands tighten on Henry’s thighs involuntarily when Henry’s fingers find a home in his hair and pull tight. Alex can’t wait another minute to get Henry’s cock in his mouth.

Alex liberates his curls from Henry’s hands and rearranges them so that Henry is sort of upright and Alex kneels on the floor between his legs. Alex means to dive in at once, but he has to take a second to fully absorb the fucking daydream of a man in front of him. Henry’s eyes have darkened, pupils blown wide and clouded with arousal. He’s sagging into the couch, relying on the furniture to keep him sitting up, seemingly unable to count on his muscles to do the job. Henry’s flushed from his cheeks to his hips, his hairline starting to darken with sweat. Alex’s gaze keeps snagging on the hickey he left—one fine day he’ll give into the desire to leave a whole goddamn collar of them.

Henry shifts, drawing Alex’s attention to his erection, straining against the white fabric of his shorts. Alex can’t help but to give him a firm stroke to his bulge, delighting in the strangled gasp it pulls from Henry. He can feel Henry twitch beneath his palm, can feel Henry’s racing pulse through the fabric, and then he’s moving—undoing Henry’s fly and pulling down his shorts and briefs in one fell swoop.

Henry actually shouts when Alex takes him to the root in one long smooth motion—he’s never been more glad for his lack of gag reflex. He stays there for a moment, breathing through his nose, the tip of Henry’s cock right at the back of his mouth. He looks up at Henry through his eyelashes. Henry’s practically shaking with the effort of holding himself still. How unnecessarily gentlemanly. Alex pries Henry’s hands out of the couch cushion and back into his hair before moving his own hands to Henry’s hips. He blinks twice, their nonverbal green signal, just to really drive the point home. With a mumbled curse, Henry starts thrusting and Alex closes his eyes, groaning every time Henry’s cock dips into his throat.

Alex’s jaw aches from the stretch, and his own cock is leaking and pressing uncomfortably against his zipper, but he couldn’t care less. He’s got Henry filling his mouth, surrounded by his hands and thighs and noises and taste—

They’re definitely going to be late to Pez’s party, if they even make it out of the house. Alex couldn’t give less of a fuck if they don’t; there’ll be other parties.

[freya-howlett]

Gloomy issues - Inside Hyrule Series pt. 5

Content: With new places to explore, there's new enemies waiting for you.

Author's note: kinda longer than expected, but I really like bickering today. Got inspired by a Tiktok I saw once, but can't find it and can't remember the username :( I'll give credit as soon as I find it.

Y/N. No shipping, simple draft.

Inside Hyrule series is a a series of oneshots, in no particular order about YOU in the world of Zelda! Just imagine... how it'd be to have adventures with your favourite hero and princess? How it'd be to travel alongside Link? Do not expect a cool, intricate plots, it's just something to help you (and me by writing and imagining it) to relax and have a nice moment.

Divider by: chachachannah (Tumblr)

"Look! How do I look?"

You turned around and saw Link trying on a familiar green cap. You laughed.

"Silly," you answered. You approached the chest where Link had found the cap as he bent down to take a small piece of paper lying on the bottom.

"It reads: 'According to legend, this cap was crafted for a hero who travels the wild lands'," he then removed the cap to observe it. "It's weird but wearing it just feels so right."

Yeah, 'cause you did in a past life in a different era, you thought to say, but remained quiet. Link this time, however, had more questions.

"So, you met other heros of legend, didn't you? Was this one real?" he inquired.

"He was," you nodded, crossing your arms non-chalantly. You remained silent for a moment because, being honest, the presence of that cap was confusing. It should't be there at all. That time was, literally, a different time, a different alternative for the future. Or that's what you thought. Maybe you were wrong. No worth mentioning anyways. You shrugged visibly. "He was the one I traveled with before you."

"Oh," he exclaimed, amazed, taking the cap off and observing it as it may hold some secrets. "How long ago was that?"

"I mean, it's now a legend, I can only imagine how long it was."

Link shook his head, astonished.

This conversation was going to dangerous places. Talking about the reality of things wasn't in any way your desire, but you also understood the curiosity. You used what was true inside his world: you were someone meant to help the wielder of the Sword that Seals the Darkness or hero of prophecy whenever he needed it, no matter the time, era or world. This Link was particularly interested in learning more, and he was aware that there had been multiple heros before him, but he didn't know it was him in different versions. He didn't need that knowledge. He also got inquisitive about your age once, a natural question since his perception was that you've been alive for thousand and thousands of years. You found an easy answer to that:

"I just age slower," you responded as you shrugged. "Way, way slower. But I'm about the same as you."

Surprisingly, that answer satisfied his curiosity, only for that moment at least.

"C'mon, I'm hungry, why don't we camp or something right here?" you asked, trying to change the subject.

"In this massive skeleton?" he asked, motioning towards at his feet. You were standing in the jaw of a massive creature.

"I meant on the ground, but yeah," you responded. "It can be a safe cover, don't you think?"

"Hope those Horriblins don't come back," he mentioned as he effortlessly jumped down and removed the new cap.

The place maybe wasn't the best to eat, but the food was delicious regardless: steamed tomatoes and some honey candy the Hateno children kindly gave you. However, despite the nice lunch, you both had to keep on the move. You hadn't found the zone's Lightroot yet, so the area was pitch black and dangerous. Your only source of light was some brightblooms you both had gathered and Link's Miner's Armor top and trouses he decided to bring. It was such a spectacle.

"I still think you look ridiculous with that," you teased him.

"You're just jealous you aren't brave enough to wear it," he answered sarcastically, gathering his stuff to keep on traveling.

"C'mon" you chuckled.

You and Link walked under the skeleton through it's lenght, maybe it had something interesting under it. The chains on Link's outfit didn't make as much noise as you thought at first, even in that extremely silent spot. As ridiculous as it looked, you had to admit that costume was quiet useful.

"Be careful with that gloom," Link's voice was low. In the Depths, it was for the best to not make as much noise as possible to not alert the creatures living there who could see you way before you could. So most of your trip had been in silence except for the small 'picnics' and resting spots, and that after making sure the surroundings had no undesired companions.

"Ugh," you expressed when the sole of your boot touched a bit of gloom, which was a disgusting, thick, mud-like substance all over the place. It's life-draining characteristic made it extremely dangerous, but a tiny bit wouldn't do harm at all.

The steep was large and difficult to walk on, but you both kept on walking carefully so as not to fall on the gloom and your spear helped you with its support. A squishy soft sound caught your attention behind you and you stopped to turn while Link kept on walking. Maybe a Horriblin had decided to sneak behind you through the gloom, after all they were immune to it. However, there was no one.

"Something wrong?" Link asked in a whisper.

"No, it's fine," you murmured back and continued walking. Not even two steps more when the sound was there again and you knew it wasn't just a coincidence.

When you turned, you saw the gloom was... moving? bubbling? fuming?

"Hey, Link," you patted his arm to caught his attention. "What's...?"

Before you finished your question, some weird-looking long tentacles appeared from the disgusting dark mass, towering you both. The gloom, you realized, was moving with them. Before Link or you could even react, the tentacles faced towards you and let out a phantasmagoric screech that penetrated your whole body and mind.

You saw with horror those weren't tentacles, but hands with eyes in their palms. Your scream was combined with their high piercing shriek.

"Run!" Link yelled as he took your hand and ran towards the path you were heading originally. The steep made it hard to run, however you both managed to be faster than the horrible creatures following you.

"Should't you fight those things!?" you yelled as you fought hard as you could to keep on with Link. His pull, however, was helpful.

"They're made of gloom! Do you want me to die!?" he answered.

"No, but what the hell are they!?"

"Shut it and run!"

Outrun them was proven a tiring effort, it took a good distance for them to suddenly dissolve and dissapear. Your left side hurt in a stabbing ache and you were out of breath. As soon as you were free, you threw a brightbbloom seed to the ground and fell, gasping for air.

"For the Goddess..." you said wearily. Link wasn't really affected by the race, he was still standing, patting his outfit. "I've never seen something like that."

"Me neither," he answered, distracted.

"I don't want to encounter them ever again, they were so scary," you continued. They were very similar to enemies you found before: Dead Hands, Wallmasters and Floor Masters. You always found them disgusting, creepy and horrible.

Link didn't answer you, he was still patting his clothes, this time looking more worried. You arched your eyebrows: "Is something wrong?"

"My cap," he answered, facing you with a troubled expression. "I may have forgotten it back at the skull."

You stared at him with an open jaw, astounished. You knew what he was implying.

"No," you shook your head. "Oh, no, no."

"Please! I won't leave it there! It's special!"

"You only had it for like ten minutes."

"Those were some special ten minutes!" When you didn't buldge, he kneeled besides you and took you by your shoulders impressively tightly. You mouthed 'ouch', but Link kept on talking: "C'mon! We don't have to fight whatever those things were, we can just slip past."

"Slip past how?" you questioned, frowning.

"We can climb the steep. They were on the bottom part, we just have to climb the rock to go around them. Didn't you realize they heard or felt us because we passed right by their gloom? Maybe we can avoid them by going on the upper side, quietly and all done. I get my cap and we're all happy."

"Me happy as in what? What do I earn going in there with you?"

"My happiness," he insisted with a funny tone. "You've said so yourself, you came here to help me and your help is what I need at this moment."

"To recover a dusty, old cap you yourself forgot," you raised your eyebrow, your tone remained ironic. "A cap that's completely useless."

"I won't lend it to you if you keep insulting it."

You let out a sigh and removed Link's hands from you. You knew you had no choice at all, after all, he was right and you came to that world to help him, despite the stupidity of the situation. Your own Purah Pad was heavy in your hip, how easy would be to just use it and leave that awful place! But once Link made his mind about something, he didn't retreat.

"Okay," you answered, resigned. "If I get killed, I won't forgive you."

You had to calm your breathing the walk back, soon you reached a part you both could climb, way faster than you wanted.

"I'll be right beside you," Link whispered, animating you. "As long as we're quiet, we'll be fine."

You only nodded and gulped. The rock was easy to climb and you moved sideways to advance, with Link at front, guiding the way. The brightblooms you threw in the lower path were still there, so that was comforting in some way to not be completely engulfed in the darkness. This time the weird hands wouldn't take you by surprise at least.

You saw the pond of gloom and noted that it wasn't moving at all, still and deceitful as before. Carefully, you and Link moved hands and feet to advance.

Beeeeeeeep!

Your heart sank to your stomach. Your Purah Pad was vibrating on your hip.

"Hi, Y/N!" Pura's lively voice was heard, you recognized it as a voicemail. "Bet you're busy right now since you're not answering my messages!"

Link stared at you in horror, he held himself with a single arm as he tried to reach for your Purah Pad. The creepy hands below let out a screech.

"Like this new feature? Thought it'd be a nice surprise. You can now hear my voice wherever you are!"

Link managed to take your Purah Pad, the screen glowed and illuminated his face, but it was too late. A hand took you by the ankle to pull you with unbelivable strenght and you gasped.

"Say hi to Linky for me!"

Link growled and let go of the Purah Pad, which fell loudly to the gloom-covered ground, to hold your wrist and try to pull you up. The hands were relentless and you felt another one pull your other leg.

"Bye-bye!"

An anormous hand took you by your upper body and pulled you away without much effort. Link exclaimed something behind you, but you didn't hear him. In your vision there was only gloom and yellow eyes as your energy was being drained away. You struggled and tried to fight back, but the hand holding you was too strong. You gasped for air, it's hold strangling.

An arrow passed by you and you saw Link standing with his bow ready. The hands snapped and let you go, dropping you like a sack.

"Y/N! Move!" Link exclaimed as he shot another arrow.

You dragged yourself as far as you could, your hands and knees getting scratched by the dirt. You lungs weren't working at all, no matter how much you tried to keep the air inside, they didn't process it. There were explosions behind you, Link was definitely using bombs. You took your hand to your chest as you hid behind one of the bones.

There was another detonation but your ears were already ringing.

"It's over!" you heard Link yell and his hurry steps approaching. "It's over! They're done," his voice went lower as he got close and kneeled in front of you. He put his hand on your forehead. "You're so pale."

Your eyes weren't on him, but looking in the pool of gloom that haven't gone away. It was still moving.

"Link," your voice sounded so hoarse, lacking air, as if you had been strangled. "No, look," you pointed exactly where some red smog was grouping together into a human-looking form. Your friend expression changed to anger when realizing it wasn't over.

"Why can't that shit let us be?"

"Take this," you motioned towards your spear. You didn't have to say it for him to understand: it was better to fight that new enemy from afar.

"And you this," he said as he lend you a small packet he had on his pouch. "Eat it, will make you feel better."

As he walked decisive, you opened the small cloth to see some crackers. But they didn't seem like normal crackers, these ones were glowing slightly in golden. Sundelion crackers. As you bit into one slowly, for you were nauseous, you wondered how Link got them.

Starting to feel revitalized, you turned to see how Link was doing. The monster had weapons of its own and was trying to charge to Link, but he was faster and moved just in time to strike mortal blows to the unprotected side of the enemy. Link this time was definitely fighting with all his might and the battle didn't take much longer. The monster fell to his knees as Link stared at it without any emotion on his face, then it tried to reach one more time to him with its creased, bony hand before succumbing and dissappearing. You let your head fall behind, leaning on the bones, in relief.

"Now it is gone," Link spoke as he approached. He wasn't even out of breath. Aside from your spear, he was carrying another weapon and two weird purple and red lumps that looked disgusting. "Look, it dropped this."

"I won't touch that," you pulled a face, feeling nauseus just by having those lumps in front of you. "They smell weird."

"Better take them to Purah and see what they are," he said as he put them inside his pouch. He let the weapons on the ground and helped you raise to your feet. "And maybe we should also talk to her about that new feature she did. How are you feeling?"

"Better," you answered, shaking the dust from your clothes. "It seems they drain energy when in contact, just like gloom," you explained. "Thanks for the crackers."

"You're welcome," he said, studying the new weapon he had taken again from the ground, he started to give some steps to the path where you came from but you stopped him.

"Hey, your cap's over there," you pointed with your spear towards the another direction.

"Oh, yeah! The cap!"

"Don't tell me you forgot."

"Well, I was concentrating in saving your life, so I didn't exactly forget."

"You were the one who made me risk it anyways!" you exclaimed. "And you forgot!"

"I didn't!"

"Oh, yes, you did, you were gonna leave just like that without it! I honestly should've let you."

"As a reward for going back with me, you can use it all the way back to the Research Lab. It's either that or hold the pouch with those lumps that fell from the gloom monster."

"Disgusting," you muttered.

"And... I actually think they're moving," he checked his pouch.

"Ewgh, no, I'm outta here," you said, walking a bit faster. Link chuckled behind you.

"I was just joking."

"Go to hell."

"With all the wandering spirits and life-draining monsters around here, technically we're there already," he chuckled again and you squinted your eyes towards him.

[pipikosen]

happy late birthday nagi!! also, first post on this acc lmao, hope you enjoy!

[masterlist]

—

wc: 1861

reader: fem (implied; wears a skirt)

cw: none! but a smidge of angst if you squint really hard.

ɢᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴅᴜᴏ!ɴᴀɢɪ

gaming duo!Nagi who meets you in a fairly chill lobby.

It was one of the rare occasions Nagi decided to join team chat. Though reluctant, he finds himself clicking on the ever-detested icon, only for the lobby to be dead silent. He’s about to leave the voice chat when he finally hears a voice—yours—cut through above the game’s sfx.

“Ah, fuck, my bad.” Your voice is soft and not one he expected to find in this type of game and worst of all, you’re apologizing to him. 

“S’alright.” He doesn’t want to cause any more problems, it’s his off day from practice, after all. 

gaming duo!Nagi who sends you a friend request and a party invite right after the match because he thinks it’ll be a hassle if he has to deal with any more randoms than he has to. Plus you seemed nice enough.

Chok1: u don’t have to accept if you don’t want to

Chok1: but it was fun playing w u

You: nono i’ll join 

You: and it was fun playing w u too!!

Chok1: cool :x

You: hold on let me add you on disc

You: ____#1028

Unbeknownst to you, Nagi is smiling slightly at your message. He pulls his phone out, swiping down on a message from Reo asking what he’s up to before responding with his typical “:x” which only garners an ellipsis from the purple-haired male.

He’s quick to open Discord before leaving you hanging for too long, fumbling slightly with your username, but eventually, the friend request goes out. You’re quick to accept and it isn’t long till that familiar ugly emote of Wumpus begins waving at him, at which he sends one back before asking if he can start a call.

and thus begins your blooming friendship with gaming duo!Nagi.

gaming duo!Nagi who always queues up as your duo and isn’t afraid to dodge a match entirely if he isn’t in a role that directly correlates to yours. (spoiler alert: they all correlate, he just doesn’t like playing tanks) 

gaming duo!Nagi who isn’t afraid to hunt down and spawn camp the bastards that did the same to you only moments prior.

“Choki, I’m fine really.” Your pleading does little to placate the snow-haired male who’s pouting at you from behind the monitor. He just wants to defend your honor!!

So, he does it anyway. It makes you laugh, and he likes hearing you laugh.

gaming duo!Nagi who doesn’t share much about himself until months into your online friendship. Sure, he drops little tidbits about himself; like how he got his user from a cactus he had previously named or his favorite manga, but never anything truly personal. Until now, that is.

Once he thinks it's been long enough (and sat through enough of Reo’s internet safety lectures that he totally paid attention to) then he just starts dropping facts about himself out of the blue. It's kind of jarring, honestly.

“Seishiro.”

“What?”

“My name.” He only offers a noncommittal shrug, though he knows you can’t see it.

“Seishiro…Seishiro. I like it, it fits you Chokkun!” That adorable nickname paired with his actual name has his heart stammering slightly in his chest. Huh, that’s strange. That’s never happened before.

“Is it your first name or last?” 

He almost misses your question, clearing his throat, “Uh, first.”

“Oh.” You pray that the word didn’t come out as much of a squeak as you think it did. Your cheeks burn as you give him your own name. He says it in a way that has your throat tightening, imitating the way you had earlier; slowly, sensually.

You can’t help but think it sounds beautiful rolling off his tongue.

It almost feels intimate, doing this with him, even if it is just exchanging names. Though, you can’t help but crave more of these moments with Chokkun, or Seishiro, as he insists you call him now.

gaming duo!Nagi who doesn’t tell you he plays soccer because he finds it too much of a hassle to mix his athletics with his gaming, even if it does earn him a lot of earfuls from Reo.

gaming duo!Nagi who always drops guns with skins that he knows you like in Valorant or matches skins with you no matter what role you’re playing in League or Overwatch.

gaming duo!Nagi who isn’t above asking Reo for money when he wants to buy something for either you or him—whether it be a bundle, a battle pass, a skin, or a whole new game entirely.

When Reo asks, all he gets is a shrug in response. Even with the lack of a concrete answer, he sees the way Nagi stares longingly at his phone during breaks, more so than usual, that is.

“Finally manage to bag someone, Nagi? ‘Bout time, I was starting to think you were going to be lonely forever.” The white-haired striker doesn’t even flinch when his best friend’s hand comes down as a harsh, congratulatory slap to his back, a little too focused on the picture—the first picture that wasn’t a screenshot or a meme, really—that you sent him. He only offers a half-hearted hum in response.

gaming duo!Nagi who takes a bit to process that the picture you sent him was of the entrance of a convenience store. It looks familiar, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He blames it on the fact the picture is shaky.

gaming duo!Nagi who realizes late at night when he’s trying to sleep that the reason the convenience store looks familiar is because it's the one right around the corner.

gaming duo!Nagi who doesn’t want to ask and come off like a creep, so he brushes it off as a coincidence to placate his beating heart. What a hassle… 

gaming duo!Nagi whose first picture he sends you is one of his face.

Nagi isn’t quite sure what deity possessed him, but now he’s reveling in the consequences of his actions. He contemplates deleting the image but stops when he sees you typing. 

It wasn’t a bad picture, in all honesty. It was just a simple selfie, his face illuminated solely by the blue light of his monitor as his half-lidded gaze stares tiredly into the camera. His lips form a small pout after the back-to-back losses the two of you faced.

You: who’s that??? why are u randomly sending me pictures of hot men sei?

For a moment, he’s at a loss, staring blankly at your message. The gears in his head are slow to turn, but when they do, his face erupts into a brilliant scarlet as he groans into the palms of his hands.

How did you always manage to make him feel so fucking lame? This was such a pain in the ass, but he can’t find it in himself to just close your message and call it a day.

chosei: it’s me lmao

He waits with a bated breath while you type, all too aware of his fast-beating heart that threatens to jump out of his chest the longer you continue to type. You stop for a moment, your typing status disappearing for a moment before it returns.

You: oh

He feels his heart shatter slightly at your response, fisting at the arm of his office chair as he rubs at his tired eyes. He feels stupid, unsure on whether or not he wants to cry despite the fact you quite literally called him hot only moments prior. 

He turns to his phone, in hopes of venting to Reo, who despite all his future strict lectures and “I told you so”’s, cares deeply for his best friend's mental and physical well-being.

What Nagi wasn’t expecting was to find a picture of a random person dead-center of your messages. You.

You’re beautiful.

You: this is me!! pls don’t mind the mess i didn’t have time to clean (edited)

Nagi doesn’t need to know you had originally said “bc i wanted to hang out with you!!” at the end of your message. For the safety of your heart, you pray he didn’t see it.

gaming duo!Nagi who asks to have face cams on a lot more often, even if it obscures a necessary aspect of the game. What neither of you know is that you both take the chance to stare at the other’s face when you die.

gaming duo!Nagi who no longer denies the e-dater label that Reo slapped on him as a joke, merely humming as he skillfully balances the ball, counting down the minutes before practice is over. 

gaming duo!Nagi who dreads the fact the date to that stupid Blue Lock camp is drawing closer, knowing he can’t play with you as often, if not at all.

gaming duo!Nagi who asks to meet up out of the blue.

chosei: we should meet up

You: ??? where’d that come from lmao???

chosei: im being forced to go to camp >:x

You: for what? you aren’t a criminal are you?

chosei: no stupid

chosei: for soccer

You: you play a sport??????

You: ?????

chosei: ye? ig i never told you

chosei: mb

You: no no ur good

You: you just don’t seem like the type to play a sport

Ironically enough, he thought the exact same.

You: okay

You: say we hypothetically decide to meet up

You: how do you know we’re in the same prefecture

chosei: :shrug: 

You: ihy 

chosei: okay

chosei: what school do you go to then?

You: … touche

You: Hakuho

gaming duo!Nagi who sends you the address to the convenience store you first sent a picture of, followed quickly by the fact he goes to the same school so as to not seem creepy.

gaming duo!Nagi who’s a little too giddy to know how close you actually are to be able to hide his out-of-character grin from the all-seeing violet eyes of Reo.

gaming duo!Nagi who unintentionally searches for you, pouting because he doesn’t know what classes you have.

gaming duo!Nagi who’s surprisingly first to arrive at the convenience store you agreed to meet at, his hands fiddling with a shitty game he found on the App Store while his nose is tucked into the fleece of his hoodie.

“Sorry I’m late!” You round the corner at an alarming speed, nearly crashing into him as you trip over your own feet. Your hair is in a different style from what he’s used to seeing, and you bear accessories that he can’t recall seeing on your person prior.

And yet, Nagi can’t find it in himself to deem you anything less than stunning.

Fiddling with the skirt of your uniform beneath his observant gaze, you clear your throat before offering a meek smile, “Hi, Seishiro.”

He offers a small smile in return, “Hi.”

gaming duo!Nagi who asks you to be his that very same day, unable to look you in the eye.

gaming duo!Nagi who complains about how lame he feels after you accept.

gaming boyfriend!Nagi who holds you for the first time that day and never wants to let go.

hope you enjoyed it! feel free to send in requests if you did<3

[hahanabi]

#HAHANABI: an affiliated sparkle rp blog, laughing along with mik (20, they/them, gmt +8). dancing to the sound of fireworks and mutually assured joy. rules and portrayal notes may be found under the cut!

RULES

ON AFFILIATION: this blog is affiliated with gnostic hymns. as such, personal blogs and rp blogs not affiliated with gh will be softblocked or blocked.

ON OOC: i make a lot of jokes ooc, as well as post shitposts (tagged appropriately on this blog) please don't take them seriously!!! none of what i say ooc is canon here in gh. i try to be very clear about what i include in-character. that said, i understand that the line can get quite blurry at times, so don't be afraid to ask me to clarify stuff or to tell me to stop doing a bit. i'll also be doing the same.

ON SHIPPING: i'm not really open to shipping with sparkle at the moment because who on this earth is insane enough to match sparkle's freak?

ON FORMATTING: i use small text with icons in my writing. if you have any issues with readability or would like me to change my format, please let me know! as for my personal preference: i would prefer it if my partners could use small text in their replies so i can read it more easily <3

ON CONTACT: as tumblr's IMs have been acting up recently (for me at least) i prefer discord dms. my username is emblian! i am part of gh's discord server so you may also ping me there.

ON REPLIES: i try to get back to my partners within 2 weeks. exceptions are lore events and months where i'm on hiatus. if it's been longer than 2 weeks and i'm not preoccupied, feel free to dm me to ask about the reply—chances are i may have forgotten about it.

ON TRIGGER WARNINGS: i will use general trigger warnings for things such as gore, extreme violence, suicide, and other topics that i deem sensitive enough to warrant it. i will be using "tw // (word)" as a tag. if you have any triggers you'd like me to tag, please feel free to let me know through a dm. i also tag spoilers under "hsr spoilers" unfortunately, sparkle can also say some pretty horrible things sometimes, so i'll also have a tag that you can mute if you don't want to see her call people slurs. the tag is "sparkle stfu"

ON HYV GAMES: i am not as familiar with genshin or honkai impact 3rd as i am with honkai star rail. i will defer to my partners for information but please be patient with me if i have lapses in the lore! i would also appreciate it if you could gently correct me on whatever i may get wrong. 

PORTRAYAL NOTES (SPOILER FREE)

sparkle is a fucking freak, let me just put that out there. she enjoys intentionally messing with people and can often do and/or say things that are unsavory, targeted, and mean.

i know that "ooc =/= ic" is common knowledge at this point, but i want to acknowledge that sparkle's actions may still cause ooc distress. she's just that kind of character. but i don't want to spring her onto people without warning, so i'll be communicating a lot in order to keep things transparent. you will always know when a sparkle nuke is coming.

i won't ask for permission for sparkle to pull a trick or a prank or deceive your muse since it's a given that most interactions with her will involve some sort of bullshit like that. things that i will generally ask about are:

can sparkle know a certain thing about your muse? (i.e. a secret they have or a part of their backstory)

can sparkle pretend to be your muse?

can sparkle make fun of a certain thing about your muse? (i.e. a physical feature they have)

can sparkle injure your muse?

more boundaries will be added as seen fit, but still do let me know if you think i've crossed a line that hasn't been stated here

[awaywith-thefaeries]

IT’S HIS LOSS | b.bradshaw

pairing: bradley "rooster” bradshaw x roommate!reader

summary: after finding out your ex-boyfriend is now engaged, your day isn’t looking too great and you don't think it’s going to get much better, but your roommate Bradley has some other ideas

warnings: pure tooth-rotting fluff, reader being oblivious, rooster being whipped for his roommate

a/n: this is based on a couple tiktoks I saw recently, which wouldn't leave my brain so i wrote this

word count: 1.15k

masterlist

The soft scenes of your favorite tv show and the faint sounds of laughter coming through the open window are the only noises permeating the calm of your living room as you sit relaxing after your long day of grading tests and helping a few of your students with their projects. You had collapsed onto the couch the moment you got home, having just enough energy to kick your shoes off by the front door, but not enough to put them in their proper place, which you know will irk you later. But right now you can’t seem to find it in you to care, curling in between the pillows your roommate Bradley had insisted on buying for you for your birthday last month.

Breathing out a deep sigh, you wriggle your shoulders further into the cushions and reach for your phone, opening your social media apps for the first time since you woke up earlier. You scroll past the first few posts quickly, nothing of note catching your interest.

Just as you're getting ready to click off, planning on maybe taking a nap or something before Bradley gets back to the house and you two inevitably end up going out to the Hard Deck with your friends, your eyes catch on a familiar username, and you pause, thumb hovering over the screen for a moment, unsure whether or not to click.

Eventually, your curiosity gets the better of you and you click onto your ex-boyfriend's profile. You can't even count the number of times you had clicked on Eric's profile in the month since he had left you broken-hearted by running off into the arms of another woman, so you see the instant you click that he's finally posted a new picture. He hadn't posted since the breakup, and once again, your curiosity causes you to open the new post.

The picture shows Eric with his arms around a woman, smiling as she laughs and holds her left hand out to the camera, a sparkling ring resting on her finger.

she said yes! the caption reads, with a little ring and heart emoji, taunting you as you stare in shock at the picture.

A month.

One month, and he's already engaged to another woman.

God, you feel so stupid! You don't fall in love with someone enough to put a ring on it in one month. All the little things, things that should have been signs of infidelity in those last few months of your relationship with Eric start to pop into your thoughts, making you feel like the biggest idiot in the world. How could you have missed them?

Your heart aching, and thoughts of self-doubt swirling through your brain, you click off the app, turn your phone off and hurl it to the other couch, watching it flop facedown onto the cushions.

Grumbling to yourself about stupidity, you heave yourself off of the couch and head into the kitchen, returning moments later with a glass and a bottle of chardonnay, as well as a large blanket straight out of the dryer, still warm as you settle in for an evening of moping.

✯✯✯✯

Bagman: Hey, y'all coming to Hard Deck 2nite?

Bradley: Sure, give us like an hour, i'll get y/n on board and we'll head over

Bagman: cool, c u then

Grinning slightly at Jake's complete laziness with typing, Bradley pulls his car into the last empty space on the street, just a couple of houses down from your shared house. Grabbing the bag of takeout from your favorite Italian place in town from the passenger seat, he swings himself out of the truck and makes his way down the sidewalk, thinking up ways to get you to come with him for the evening.

Kicking his boots off on the porch, per your request a few months earlier after the 5th patch of dirt found it’s way into the foyer, Bradley scoops them up in his free hand, twisting the door handle and pushing into the foyer.

The first indication that something is off is the pair of bright white sneakers strewn in the middle of the entry hallway. In the 2 years you and Bradley had been roommates, he had only ever seen shoes off of the rack on two occasions.

Shit!

The second indication of something being wrong comes blaring from the living room, as Bradley drops his boots into their designated tray, and hangs his bag on its hook. He can just make out your voice singing along over the Taylor Swift song blaring through the houses speakers.

So I’ll watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep…

Tentatively, Bradley eases his way down the hall, careful not to startle you with any loud noises, and moves into the doorway just in time to see you raising your very full wine glass to your lips, taking a full gulp, as you stand on the sofa in the darkened living room.

You look up when Bradley shifts, and send him the most pathetic smile you can dredge up in the moment, unknowingly breaking your best friend/roommates heart at your expression.

“Alright, what have I walked into here?” Bradley jokes, wanting to wipe the sorrowful expression from your eyes as quick as possible. You start to giggle, spurring him on.

“I feel like, the music’s on, the wine’s out, we’ve got mood lighting, and I’ve got a bowl of carbonara with our names on it. Okay, we’re having sex on the sofa.”

You burst out laughing, thumping yourself back down into the cushions as Last Kiss continues playing, and Bradley smiles, a little tightly, glad he’s managed to get you laughing, even though your blatant laughter at the implication of sex with him stings a little more than it should.

After you’ve laughed for a good 45 seconds, you calm down enough to pause and take in Bradley, who’s still standing in the doorway.

“Brad? Are you ok?” You ask, watching his tight smile drop slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, perking up a little to quickly to be true but you don’t want to push him.

“You stay there, and I’ll go grab some utensils for this bad boy,” he says, patting the bag and turning to head into the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, “and then you can tell me why we’re having a Ms Swift day, today!”

A muffled “okay” sounds from the mound of pillows and blankets on the sofa you’re currently lying under, and Bradley chuckles to himself as he pulls forks and spoons from a drawer, grabbing a beer from the fridge before shooting Hangman a text to let him know that you both won’t be going out and heading back into the living room.

✯✯✯✯

One and a half runs of Tangled later, the empty takeout boxes lay scattered on the coffee table and Bradley has joined you in the cocoon of pillows and blankets, polishing off his second can of beer as you lay on the couch together. You had explained everything to him over dinner, and then the two of you had gotten comfortable to watch some television.

You’re fiddling with a strand on the edge of one of your blankets when Bradley speaks.

“You know it’s his loss right?”

You glance over at him, eyes sweeping his face as he gazes right back at you, looking the tiniest bit shell shocked that he had spoken.

“What?”

“It’s his loss, that he’s not with you anymore. If I had you, I wouldn’t lose you.”

The old butterflies you had worked so hard to tame take flight in your stomach once again at the look Bradley is giving you, the tenderness in his eyes igniting a yearning that you thought you had gotten under control.

“Oh come on, I’m not that special.” You try to brush off, truly believing the words, the scars of Eric’s betrayal still stinging you.

Bradley doesn’t look pleased with the way you casually call yourself un-special. He sits up abruptly, reaching under the blankets til he finds your legs, and uses them to swing you around to that you’re facing him. His warm roughened hands cup your bare knees, and you barely manage to contain the shiver that runs over your skin at the contact.

“You’re not that special?” He asks, voice incredulous, making sure your holding eye contact with him.

“First of all, you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” Your heart gives a dangerous thump at that comment, certain that your blushing and grateful that the only light in the room is coming from a few candles and the television screen.

“Second of all, you can make me laugh no matter what situation I’m in.” Bradley’s thumb starts rubbing gently over the space where your upper leg meets your lower leg, and your brain short circuits for a moment. A gentle squeeze to the other knee has you snapping back to attention, seeing Bradley smirking gently at you, still so tender it’s making your heart sing.

“And third of all, do you know how happy it makes me to know that you are the last person I get to see every single night before I go to bed, and the first person I see when I wake up in the morning? If I lost that I… I don’t think I’d survive….”

When Bradley finishes his mini rant, eyes still locked on yours and thumbs tracing little patterns on your skin, you can’t help but stare at him for a few moments, trying to grapple with the overwhelming sense of love for your best friend consuming you at this moment.

When you had first moved in with Bradley, you had connected super fast, forming an almost instant friendship. But over the first year, your platonic love for him had grown and transformed into something much deeper. Terrified of ruining your friendship, you had kept your feelings to yourself, and when Eric had come along, you had seen it as the perfect time to try and get your crush on your roommate under control.

You realize now that all you had managed to do was to pretend like the butterflies weren’t there whenever he walked into the room, or called you ‘pookie’ playfully ever since you’d watched Rent together. A quick rush of air leaves your lips and your head shakes slightly to the side as you take him in on the couch in front of you.

“What?” Bradley asks, fearing that he went to far and scared you off, “what is it?”

“Would it …” you can’t quite seem to dig up the courage to say what’s on your mind, letting your eyes drop from his down to land on his lips, “would it be really bad if I told you I wanted you to kiss me right now.”

The question leaves you in a whispered rush, and you still can’t bring your gaze up to meet his, fingers twisting into the blanket on your lap anxiously.

“Only if I didn’t want to kiss you back.”

Bradley’s confession is whispered, so low you’re not even sure if he actually said it.

“Do you?” You breathe, eyes trained downwards, muscles taught, nervous.

You’ve closed your eyes, so you don’t see Bradley’s hand come up until his thumb and forefinger are cupping your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes.

“I’d rather just show you,” he breathes, and then he’s leaning towards you and your eyes are falling shut once more.

When his lips brush over yours, soft at first and then with a little more urgency, something inside you feels like it clicks into place. You sigh into the kiss and open your mouth, allowing Bradley access. He responds and threads his hand through the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer to deepen the embrace.

The two of you kiss and kiss, until you both run out of air and have to resurface for a moment. Bradley grins, and rests his forehead against yours, wrapping his arms around your lower back. You’ve ended up in his lap, and you snuggle deeper into his hold as his fingers slide through your hair.

“This is nice,” you whisper into his neck, all the heartache from earlier seeming to vanish for the night.

Bradley chuckles lightly and you feel his head lean to rest on the top of yours as he shuffles the two of you deeper into the pillow pile.

“Yeah, baby, this is nice.”

The last thing you feel as your body loses its battle against sleep, is the soft brush of Bradleys lips on your forehead and his fingers carding through you hair as sleep takes over.

[thewertsearch]

Hello.

No username, no text color - absolutely nothing to go on. This conversation doesn’t even start with a chat header, which would indicate whether he’s pestering Vriska or trolling her. 

Methinks this guy actually knows what he’s doing.

All the ways I've exploited you were meant to bring about the events that will take place this evening.

Whitetext may hide his identity, but he’s making no effort to hide what’s going on. He’s confident enough in his machinations to essentially taunt Vriska here, because the game ends today. 

Knowing this will provide context for the events in your near future, and will affect how you behave in response. These events will be just as important as those preceding it.

Just kidding - the game hasn’t ended. These taunts are just another way to move Vriska into position - and, again, he’s perfectly comfortable telling her this, because that, too, is part of his gambit. 

Who the hell is this guy? He’s using perfect syntax, implying he’s not a troll - but we know from Gamzee that trolls can suppress their quirks, so even that’s not a given. 

AG: You are just a petty douche with a 8ad temper who likes to pl8y g8mes, and all I did w8s humor you. I did exploit you, very thoroughly. It was easy. [...] Have I ever lost a game? AG: Don't ch8nge the su8ject!!!!!!!!

This is how you handle someone like Vriska. Unlike Aradia, she probably can’t be tricked into a state where she willingly gives up her agency, and would probably rebel out of principle if you tried.

So instead, you just piss her off. She’ll stop thinking clearly, and - provided you’ve got the right ideas into her head - her own natural inclinations will do your work for you. You’ll have your Aradia, even though she doesn't realize that’s what she is. 

AG: I'm going to log off in a 8ig huff and you have to promise not to use that nasty trick where you log me 8ack on out of petty douchey spite!

Yeah, it would really suck if someone violated your agency like that, wouldn’t it, Mindfang?

I no longer hold you accountable for any wrongdoing. In fact, I've given your transgression very little thought since the incident.

So Vriska actually did get one over on Mr Chessmaster over here.

...or, at least, he’s letting her think she did. This feels like the type of person who’d work on multiple levels like that.

If you acknowledge this amnesty and regard it as sincere, you may begin to find the odds falling in your favor again.

So he’s the reason for her bad luck? 

Maybe has some sort of power over probability. This feels like a guy who’s very familiar with the supernatural side of Alternia, and we don’t know the limits of troll powers yet. 

But of course it was your unpleasant, simplistic temperament that made you so easy to control. Vicious and predictable, like an insect. If you turn a swarm of wasps on a crowd, the outcome is certain.

Vriska might have a lot of irons in her web, but she really doesn’t seem hard to direct. Just convince her someone is ‘winning’ against her, and then get her mad enough to act on that knowledge.  

AG: Blech. What a sno8. You're worse than my meddley meddler meddlefriend. I wonder why they waste their camaraderie on you. I'll never understand it.

You want my honest answer, Whitetext? After everything that I’ve seen?

These kids are growing up in hell. But - and this is their one true solace - they’re growing up in hell together. 

Though the magnitude of the ensuing destruction resulting directly from your actions will be neither possible or necessary for you to fathom, there nevertheless ought to be a silver lining.

Vriska is going to cause a disaster, eh? Bit of a foregone conclusion, I think. Next you’ll be telling us that Karkat is going to yell at someone. 

What use is all that attitude against a guy who's never wrong?

Oh he isn’t, is he? 

Just like Aradia’s Visions? Just like Sollux’s Voices? Just like the Horrorterrors?

Are all of these ‘infallible’ sources really different entities, or is this just one guy with a lot of sockpuppets? 

Maybe you could stand to have some camaraderie wasted on you, even if it comes from a meddley meddler meddlefriend.

See? Even Vriska doesn’t need to face Alternia alone.   

[tendousfingers]

the love club kinktober — day 27

× contents: daishou + aphrodisiac

× warnings: fem!reader, lingerie, cam couple, recording, sex toys, edging, teasing, orgasm denial, bunny pet name, daddy kink, begging, panty ripping, veginal penetration, cumming inside, let me know if i missed anything <3

× this is my last and final addition to the love club kinktober collab. i hope you will enjoy it as well as my other pieces on the 7th, and 24th.

the gentle slip of fingers along the curve of your spine sends shivers through your body, knuckles then running up your side and over your ribcage. daishou observes your behavior closely, your back tucked closely against his chest. his knees are brought up to his chest, and right between them you sit, all pretty and dolled up in a pretty lace set with garters and thigh highs.

a thin layer of sweat lines your body, lips parted as you gasp for breath. you were hot, scorching all over while arousal pools in the pit of your stomach, nagging for more and more. suguru reaches around to your front side, grabbing your knee with a firm hand. "why don't you go ahead and show them, yeah? let all of our viewers see how worked up you are already."

his hand parts your legs while eyes flicker up to the camera that's been positioned to overlook your shared bed, a small smirk adorning his facade. "ah would you look at that, she's /soaking/ guys. that little stimulant you all bought for us seems to be working." thin eyes gleam with amusement, especially as you whimper just from your legs being parted, the cool draft of the room wafting over the large wet spot in your underwear, a stark opposite to the heat that circulated there.

daishou's thin eyes skim over the comments that roll in on the laptop screen beside him, fingers absentmindedly running over that damp spot, following the shape of your cunt through the sticky fabric. your face scrunches up at the feeling, your cunt so sensitive that e

ven the smallest touch such as that had you gasping out for breath, hips lifting up against his hand for more. it's at this particular moment that he pulls his hand back just because he can, watching as your pelvis drops back down so pathetically, a sharp, defeated cry breaking the silence.

"nng— daddy, please!"

daishou knows exactly what your outburst was for, yet his still plays dumb, hear trying inquisitively. "please what, bunny? gotta use your big girl words and tell me what you want." you feel even more defeated, tears already beginning to pool beneath your eyelids from the frustration. "need you to— to touch me!"

with his hand resting comfortably against your leg, he chuckles lowly, rubbing across the skin with his fingers, "but i am touching you bunny." he glances back towards the camera with a lax expression, pulling your legs even farther apart to show the slick stain on your panties growing even larger, "what do you think guys? should i touch her? has she had enough?"

the stream floods with responses, some saying yes, some saying no. only a specific response catches his attention, reading "tease her with a toy." attached to it, a hefty donation. daishou licks his lips as he reads it, "alright. a toy? any suggestions?" daishou is even more pleased to see the same username flash across the screen with yet another donation, indicating that they'd like to see him use a vibrating wand on you.

the bed creaks beneath the both of you as you shuffle around in position, daishou out of the camera frame for a brief moment as he picks out a wand to use on you. he goes with one of the ones that your viewers had bought for you previously, cordless and sleek, and purple in color.

there's a low whirring once he switches it on, the familiar sound even causing your cunt to clench tightly. you more than happily spread your legs, nice and wide for the camera and for daishou. you'd expect for him to remove your bottoms, yet you're even more shocked when you feel the vibrating device press lightly against your clothed clit. you gasp and writhe, hips coming off the bed. a firm hand pushes them back down, and daishou slowly begins to circle the tip of the toy around your clit, making sure not to touch it at all.

the vibrations reach everywhere but where they're supposed to, strong against the point of contact yet fizzling out before reaching your clit, no matter what angle he turns it. and yet, the sheer spot over your clit only grows with more dampness, cunt gushing even from vibrations that only make it so far.

your viewers seem to like seeing you being teased in such a way even more, the repetitive dings of donations meeting both yours and daishou's ears. you jerk your hips towards the toy even more, the desperation to cum stronger than the desire to please the people viewing your stream. "pl-please..! wanna cum, please let me cum daddy."

the words come out raspy, breathy even with little to no volume, your mind more focused on the fleeting pleasure of the vibrations just barely grazing your clit. suguru's brows raise, tongue lapping at his bottom lip, "what was that, bunny? gonna have to speak up princess, tell them what you want."

your cheeks puff out with frustration, head falling back before tilting towards the camera, eyes glassy and brimming with tears. you swallow the lump in your throat, before raising your voice. "please let me cum— ive been a good girl right?"

the immediate flood of donations nearly freezes your computer, multiple people deeming you worthy to cum with large tips coming right behind them, all for you. to say daishou was impressed was an understatement, considering on a usual stream you'd always been more shy and bashful, leaving him to address the viewers for you. but as it seemed, the aphrodisiac running through your body had effects he could only dream of.

per yours and your audience's request, daishou pulls your panties aside and presses the wand down onto your clit, and in response you squeal loudly, hips lifting up to meet the toy for even more friction. even something as simple as this never felt as good as it does now, your body broken out into a sweat just from a little toy play. your pussy flutters and clenches around nothing as your orgasm approaches quickly, feet pushing you up on curled toes and hips lifted mid air, you let out an exasperated cry, finally being brought to the edge.

daishou is mesmerized, in awe of the way your body arches and contorts with pleasure, the way goosebumps line the skin of your thighs. it's so good, so good that it would be a shame for him not to get to play, especially with you like this. sensitive and eager for all of his touch, ready and pliant for anything he has to offer you. he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't stuff you full of cock right now.

the first waves of your orgasm wash over you just as daishou pulls the toy away from your puffy clit in a hurry, not even bothering to turn it off when he tosses it to the other side of the bed. your eyelids fly open with surprise, hips humping in the air pathetically, "no no no no! please—please i was so close!" your hands grab at his clothes as he clambers on top of you, the stream long forgotten as he watches those pretty tears well up in your eyes and drip down your plush cheeks.

a large hand grabs you by the side of your face, thumb swiping over the expanse of your cheek and collecting the tears that were in the way. he coos down at you, hushing you as he uses his free hand to shove his pants down past his knees, "shh shh, gonna stuff you nice and full, yeah? don't you wanna cum with daddy, make him feel good too?"

the way daishou speaks down to you, so condescending yet, it almost makes you feel bad for wanting to cum without him. you find yourself nodding along to all of his words, tongue desperately flicking at your dry lips to wet them before he's crashing his own onto them. he kisses you sloppily, while below he hooks a finger into the thin strip of cloth that had been pushed to the side of your cunt. he pulls on it, and pulls on it hard, until the sound of it ripping away from your body is met by his ears.

daishou grins into your mouth, pulling away slightly in order to look down to guide his cock to your entrance. you briefly let your eyes flicker over to the computer screen, skimming over the contents in a hurry. you can see where people are appreciating how involved you and daishou are, how hot it is to see the two of you lose control. your eyes roll back slightly when his cock sheaths inside, without a hitch.

immediately he fucks into you with out any hesitation, your eyes and body bouncing and jumping with each thrust as you cry out, "yes, yes! fuck me— fuck me daddy!" and that daishou does, hand grabbing at your leg and hooking beneath your knee. he uses that hold to shove your leg up to your chest, exposing your cunt and your shared connection to the camera.

your face is drawn up into a permanent look of pleasure, brows pinched together and lips slightly ajar. the heat that circulates your body has yet to die down. every inch of his length all felt by your greedy cunt, every thrust into you guided perfectly so that the tip of his cock kisses your cervix.

your pussy had never felt like this before, so wet and warm, tight yet taking him all the way in until his balls are smashed tightly into the seam of your ass. he was having a hard time keeping himself from cumming already, determined to make you cum first.

daishou pushes on your knee into your chest further, then having you hold it there just like that. you're so cock drunk that you don't even notice him licking the pad of his thumb, before pressing it against your clit and rubbing quick circles to match the pace of his hips.

the groans and cries that seep from yours and daishou's lips fill the room in a symphonic harmony, the way your cunt squeezes him so tightly with every pass of his thumb over your clit. the mattress creaks and squeaks in protest to the way daishou throws his body weight into each thrust, skin clapping together, wet with sweat.

you feel yourself seizing up yet again, stomach arching up into his as your legs begin to quiver in your own grasp. you can only look up at him with a dropped jaw and wide eyes, gasping for breath as your nails rake down the front of his chest and your legs fall limp from your hands, "mg'nna cum!"

he's lost in it all— lost in the way your pussy sucks him in and spasms around his cock as your finally fall over the edge of your orgasm, a thick ring of white forming around with every time his hips draw back. his fingers fist the bedding beneath the two of you as his eyes roll back slightly, hair wet with perspiration and stuck to his forehead. the live stream is long forgotten, even with an endless amount of money flooding in just from the way the two of you are so immersed in each other.

he sits up abruptly— taking your knees in his hands and gripping tightly. "fuck— so god damn tight— gunna fill you up—!" daishou grits his teeth as the tightness of your cunt nearly forces him to cum, fingernails digging into your skin and leaving crescent shapes in their wake.

your chest expands with deep breaths as you look up at him, in awe of what the aphrodisiac had drawn out of the two of you. there's a grin pulling on his lips— "good?" you're nodding your head quickly, not stopping until his long fingers grasp your chin and turn your face towards the camera, "so what do we say then?"

"th-thank you, everyone."

[bakerstreethound]

Give Me One More Chance

Relationship: Sherlock Holmes x reader

Warnings: angst NO comfort

Summary: How many chances is enough? For you, you’ve reached your breaking point and break the news to Sherlock after feeling neglected in an on again off again relationship with him, if that’s even what you can call it. 

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound​ (Do NOT claim, repost, copy or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username)

Word Count: 1.2k+

A/N: Well, I hope you’re buckled up and ready for an angst adventure. I sort of imagined this having potential as an older teen (18/19) Sherlock and reader or them possibly both in their early twenties (21/22) so take that as you will. Thank you for the request @zombiesnips-blog​ I hope you and everyone else enjoys! As always comments and reblogs are most appreciated! This wasn’t beta read so I apologize in advance for any errors. Graphic is by @firefly-graphics​

The phone in your hands shook, you inhaled deeply, annoyed at the person on the end of the phone who undoubtedly forgot to pick you up from the library where you studied for hours upon end, where you were supposed to study with him. You didn’t want to be disappointed but it crept inside you still, lying upon you like a fever, your heart pulsing in kind. How many times were you supposed to forgive him? All the excuses you tried to conjure up did nothing, and you fall further into your well, filled by too many tears you shed. 

You set your mobile down, fiddling wth your hair before settling on the couch, flipping through a dozen channels or so before settling on one of your favorite movies that happened to be on. You try to let your mind numb that is until your apartment door slammed, the footfalls of a familiar gait pounding up the landing. Your heart lurched. It couldn’t possibly be him. 

At least he had the courtesy to knock but you still don’t want to get up, not in the state you’re in buried anger threatening to rise over the surface spilling venom in its wake. However, your body seemed to have other plans and you found yourself walking over and turning the knob, your gaze transfixed on brilliant, intelligent sapphire eyes. 

“Sherlock?” 

He pushed open the door further, shutting it without a word, brushing his hand against yours before pressing his lips against it, the tenderness causing your heart to ache. "Apologies, traffic took longer than expected it's rush hour and I-"

"And you what, just so happened to forget to call?" Bitterness fell from your tongue, try as you may to quell it and oh how you hated it when Sherlock’s cheek twitched, eyes blinking in bewilderment. 

"I tried-" 

“I don’t want to hear anymore excuses Sherlock. I’m tired of this, the constant back and forth, you disappearing for days on end, making me think you’re dead and you barely answer my texts! I understand your work, internship, whatever the bloody hell has you galivanting through London is important, but don’t I matter? How can I possibly compete with your work?”

His stare only added fuel to the fire, showing barely a hint of remorse, his shoulders slouching slightly. He swallowed, his lips shaping into words that never took flight, illuminating his internal struggle. You didn’t ever want it to come to this, but sometimes you had to take matters into your own hands. 

“How am I supposed to ask for your forgiveness? Do you want me to crawl on my hands and knees begging you to stay?” He inquired, beginning to circle around you like a vulture, unsure what to make of the situation. You tried not to meet his gaze again, for you knew you’d be doomed, falling further in an instant, loosing your heart all over again. 

Who were you kidding, you’d lost it months ago. 

You scoffed, “I clearly don’t see the point since you’ve made it obvious you don’t care anymore. Perhaps I stopped caring months ago, but I gradually gained clarity. Is there something you’re not telling me?” He took a step closer, piercing gaze meeting yours, and your throat went dry. You could smell him, the intoxicating warmth of him, his very essence, leaving you gasping, wanting him and only him, yet you somehow find it in the rapidly diminishing space between you to continue, “Were you never ready to be with me? I was terrified too, Sherlock but I thought we had- hell I don’t know what we are anymore. I can’t take this-” 

Soft familiar lips collided with yours, muffling your protests, his body absorbing you, molding you together as one despite your mind’s reeling protests. Oh, how easy it was to fall back into him, such a familiar pattern, his fingers teasing along your lower back, your hands tangled in is beautiful mass of curly hair. It’s electrifying, how you want to fall back but you can’t that was the way it happened last time when you vowed to yourself it was his last chance. 

When you pulled away a fraction, foreheads still touching, hands tangled in his hair, you tugged on them gently, earning a groan from his plump parted lips. 

“John told me you’d break my heart,” he all but whispered, leaning in to your touch, your familiarity, allowing himself denial of his reality for once. If only he could turn back time, but he knew fate was never so kind. It did not bode well to mingle in its affairs. If only he could take away the words you spoke, a silent thread unwinding, shriveling fast, finally cut with your words, sealing both his fate and yours. 

“Funny because my friends told me you’d break mine. It was only a matter of time, but sometimes you made me question if I had one at all. Sometimes I wonder if you ever had one to give me, my boy.” 

Wounded resignation lite up in his eyes, but he swallowed, taking a step away and yet, and yet, you reach out again, grasping the lapels of his beautiful coat, regret and sorrow streaming from your eyes. How could you have made this any easier? It was always going to be a heard break, but you knew you deserved better, he wasn’t good for you and you couldn’t keep waiting around, tired of the waiting, wondering, and wishing. It still didn’t make the growing sorrow in your body from weighing you down, threatening to drag you down into the deepest depths of the ocean. 

“You know we weren’t good for each other and you still have other ventures ahead of you. I’m sure you’ll find something more worth your while.” You pushed back the tears through it all, regret heavy in your hands as you released him from your embrace, but his hands remained on your waist, lip quivering, eyes wide a haunted look sprouting from within as if a ghost had now infiltrated his body. When he parted, it took all your resolve not to pull him back but the invisible thread was broken, all warmth ceasing to exist when he parts, shutting the door, turning around one last time to face you. 

“You always had a beautiful smile,” he said quietly and that was it. You fell to the floor on your knees, grasping at your chest, heaving gasping out the tears. Out your window you still could see him walking down past your door, into the streets beyond. 

It’s bittersweet, cruel of you to do it to yourself, memorizing his silhouette for the last time, the way it morphed into the shadows, making you selfishly wish the possibility of seeing it for one more time, relishing the rush of adrenaline that followed, the racing of your heart when he stood near to you, kissing you o so softly as if you are the only thing in his universe. Perhaps you were, but certainly not in this one, for fate was cureler rather than kind. You regret not being able to hold his hand, taste those adoring lips of his…now you can but only in your dreams

******

[conscious-love]

Hi there. I’m having trouble with forgiving myself over past mistakes. I have a perfectionist mind and when I think I was not perfect my mind will randomly remember it during quiet moments in my day. How do I forgive myself? Also, I love the blue in your blog! Thank you for your time and have a lovely day :)

First of all, LOL to your username 😂 And thanks! Blue is my favourite colour 💙

Edit: they changed their username

So, hello! 👋🏻 I’m all too familiar with perfectionism, and I know what it’s like to wrestle with guilt. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

It feels like perfectionism is simply a fear of failure, and it is that, but more than that, it is rooted in fear of being shamed by others. This can stem from childhood: parents who only praised us for achievements, being known as the “gifted kid” or “the smart one,” parents/peers who ridiculed/rejected us, an insecure attachment style, and so on.

It can sometimes be connected to OCD. That said, not every perfectionist has OCD and not everyone with OCD is a perfectionist.

Sometimes it is just learned behaviour — it’s because our family was that way.

And sometimes a traumatic and/or deeply embarrassing event can trigger it. Traumatic events include things we’ve done wrong; in fact, the literature on trauma has shown that we are more deeply traumatized by “bad” things we’ve done than the things that have happened to us.

Regardless of the cause, perfectionism is highly treatable. Re-wiring our brain is not easy, but it gets easier with practice. It’s about finding the right resources and techniques, being consistent in practicing, and having compassion for ourselves.

The antidote to perfectionism is self-compassion. Because perfectionism is rooted in fear of shame, the way to overcome this affliction is to be kind to ourselves, and to teach ourselves to be okay with “good enough,” instead of viewing it as failure. This really is all about re-framing our thoughts around success, productivity, failure, flaws, and ultimately — worthiness.

It’s very common for anxious and ruminating thoughts to enter our mind while we’re at rest. Our response is often to keep ourselves busy, but this is not an effective long-term strategy. You’ve got to face those thoughts head-on (pun intended). If you don’t get to the root of the problem, you’ll never untangle it. Not only that, the problem will compound.

So how do we combat these ruminating thoughts about failure and guilt? You’ve already alluded to the answer — forgive yourself. Here’s what I know about failure, guilt, and self-forgiveness:

All forgiveness starts with acceptance. You have to admit to yourself that you are not perfect, that you’ve made mistakes, and that you will continue to make mistakes almost every day for the rest of your life. This does not mean resigning to mediocrity, and it does not mean shaming yourself. It is neutral. You are not perfect. You make mistakes. That’s just the way it is.

Once it’s sunk in that you are not, in fact, perfect, it’s time to accept that you’re not supposed to be perfect, and that you never will be. Accepting you’re not perfect is one thing, but if you still have it in your mind that you’re going to keep trying until you’re perfect one day, you’ll remain stuck in this cycle of anxiety and shame.

You need to internalize the reality that by virtue of being human, you are imperfect. To quote Brené Brown, “you are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” On that note, definitely check out Brené Brown, she’s freaking amazing — she’s a research professor and the world’s leading authority on vulnerability and shame. Here is her first Ted Talk called The Power Of Vulnerability and here is her second one called Listening To Shame. Her books are great as well; here is a list of her books. I also enjoy her podcast, Unlocking Us; here is a link to it on Apple Podcasts, and here is a link to it on Spotify. I’m seeing now that she actually has another podcast as well, called Dare To Lead; it’s not on Apple Podcasts, but here is the link to it on Spotify.

Anyway, where I was going with that was, you are imperfect because you are human, and that is a good thing. If you were perfect, no one on earth would want to be near you for very long. You would make people feel inadequate, and they would not feel truly understood. They would not feel like they can open up to you, or that they have anything to truly bond over. You would only ever have surface-level interactions. Being imperfect is vulnerable, and you can’t have true connection without vulnerability. Not only should you forgive your imperfection, you should embrace it! 🤍

Messing up and falling short don’t exactly feel good, but they don’t have to feel like the end of the world either. In fact, with practice, you can let failure motivate, not discourage you. Making a mistake brings you one step closer to mastery. Learning that you’re wrong is a blessing; it reorients you on your way to finding the truth. Without mistakes, you wouldn’t be able to walk today. You wouldn’t know how to read, unless you were born with the magical ability to download information instantaneously. We fail forward, that is how we learn and gain competency. Failure is our signal that we’ve done something wrong, and that we need to reassess and recalibrate. It’s valuable feedback, and it’s necessary for growth and success.

Guilt is useful insofar that it gives you feedback about your decisions; it teaches you lessons, guides you to live in alignment with your morals, and helps you be loving and fair in your relationships. But once you’ve learned the lesson or received the feedback, you need to drop that shit immediately. Harbouring guilt beyond its utility is not noble, it’s self-destructive, and harmful to the people around you. Maybe you’re wondering how that could be. “Aren’t these people the most sorry? Aren’t they the last person who’d cause harm?” Counterintuitive as it sounds, I’ll explain why it’s harmful. Being around someone with a guilt complex is exhausting. They often project their insecurities onto you, accusing you of insulting their morals or intentions. You have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid triggering a shame spiral. You hear them say the same things over and over again, ruminating over their mistakes but never learning their lesson (which means embodying it, not just thinking and talking about it). You watch them make poor decisions because they don’t feel worthy of good things, and it hurts watching someone you love do that to themselves. It’s paradoxical. People hold on to guilt because they’re worried about being a “bad person” or a “failure.” Little do they know, pathological guilt (aka shame) morphs a person into someone who is far from virtuous. Chronic guilt makes people self-centred, because everything reminds them of their suffering. It makes them afraid of vulnerability, and the inability or unwillingness to be vulnerable is cowardice. Furthermore, pathological guilt doesn’t make you a better person. A person who learns their lesson, makes amends if necessary and appropriate, vows to never do it again, and puts it behind them, is someone who turns their mistakes into fuel for personal growth — and they become a better person. The person who messes up then dwells on it forever? That person is not growing. Those with pathological guilt can seem like they’ve learned and grown because they go on and on about their guilt. But becoming a better person after failure means striving to be your best self, so that you can do as little harm and as much good as possible going forward. But shame doesn’t help anyone. Shame inhibits a person’s ability to show up as their best self and create the most positive change they can, and that is the paradox — that believing you are a bad person only takes you further and further away from becoming a truly virtuous person. That’s not to say that those who are plagued by shame are bad people — in fact, their “guilt” is actually illogical — what it means is that shame is so corrosive that it foils even the most well-intentioned person’s efforts to grow, and avoid doing harm. In other words, it’s not helping. Let it go.

So what does self-forgiveness look like on a practical level? It means not shaming yourself for transgressions, being patient with yourself, and speaking kindly to yourself.

When you hurt someone, you make amends if necessary, possible, and appropriate; you learn from your mistake, and you promise yourself to never do it again. The mistake has given you valuable feedback, and now you’re a better person because of it (and your relationship was probably deepened/strengthened as well).

When it’s icy out and you slip on the sidewalk, you laugh instead of looking around frantically to see if anyone saw you. You notice thoughts like, “oh my god I can’t believe I did that,” and “I’m such an idiot/clutz,” and come back at them with thoughts like “wow that was close, I could have seriously hurt myself, but thankfully I didn’t,” and “oh my god wait until I tell ___ about this😂” and (sarcastically), “well that was pleasant.🙄”

When you study your hardest for a test but you don’t do as well as you hoped, you let yourself feel sad for a couple minutes or seconds, and then you come in with the self-compassion. “I tried my best and that’s what matters,” and “well, now I know what I need to work on,” and “at least I got some right,” and “at least I showed up and took the test even though I was nervous. That took courage.”

When you’re not feeling great emotionally and it’s affecting your schoolwork or your ability to socialize or your ability to keep up with household tasks and self care, you don’t use shame to try to motivate yourself. You first admit to yourself that you’re not feeling your best, and that it’s affecting your ability to function at your best. You take care of yourself as best as you can, and remove unnecessary tasks and pressure. You figure out why you’re feeling this way, so that you can then figure out what to do about it. And sometimes, that something is just waiting it out, because sometimes that’s all we can do. You practice being patient with yourself.

Those ^ are some of the ways opportunities to practice self-forgiveness will pop up in your everyday life. Here are some that you can do intentionally:

Do your inner work. Go to therapy if you can afford it, talk to loved ones, watch videos, read articles and books, etc. Research self-forgiveness and self-compassion, and other topics like personal growth, healing and recovery. Journal about your history with shame and perfectionism. See if you can find clues that might explain how they came to be. What purpose does perfectionism have in your life? We don’t develop these coping mechanisms for no reason. Even the most toxic of coping mechanisms work in some way, but they don’t help as much as others, and they generally do more harm than good. Yet, we develop them for a reason, and becoming aware of those reasons helps us have compassion for ourselves, and will allow us to create new strategies to meet those needs and solve those problems.

Practice. Do something imperfectly on purpose. Beth Main said, “Set up some practice situations for yourself. For example, resolve to write one email every day without revising it… Tell yourself, ‘I don’t want to be a perfectionist. I am choosing to let this one go.’” To offer a personal example, I use Exposure Therapy to cope with my OCD. Just the other day, I saw that two boxes in my room were not stacked perfectly one on top of the other (the top one was off slightly to one side). I walked over to fix it then caught myself. I stopped and said (out loud), “no,” and turned back around. Normally, I’d spend at least 5-10 seconds (on a good day) making sure it’s even. But I didn’t give in. It’s these small moments of noticing old, outdated, conditioned thoughts, and countering them with our new, chosen, healthy mental habits that add up and create lasting changes. Perfectionism and shame are mental habits, and like any other, can be transcended. Similarly, forgiveness is a skill that can be developed and honed.

I’ll leave you with some of my favourite quotes (and a few I just found) about perfectionism, personal growth, mistakes, lessons, vulnerability and self-awareness. I’ll only include a couple ones by Brené Brown cause there are literally hundreds I could include 😄 (seriously, check her out, she’s amazing).

If you stop reading here, I hope this helps! Take care 😊 ~ Bella

On perfectionism

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

~ Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

•

A disproportionate need for control — and an overwhelming fear of the uncertainty that can exist in uncontrolled situations — can lead [one] to adopt paralyzingly rigid roles almost like armor against life’s uncertainties.”

~ Allan Mallinger, Jeannette Dewyze, Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

•

Striving for excellence is a positive quality. Striving for perfection is self-defeating.

~ Melody Beattie

Personal growth

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.

~ Brené Brown

•

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.

~ John Steinbeck

•

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

~ Louise L. Hay

•

Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.

~ Tara Brach

•

You don’t want to beat yourself up for beating yourself up in the vain hope that it will somehow make you stop beating yourself up.

~ Kristin Neff, Ph.D.

•

Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.

~ David D. Burns

•

Never forget that to forgive yourself is to release trapped energy that could be doing good work in the world.

~ D. Patrick Miller

•

Forgive yourself, you are not perfect. Show yourself grace; you are still learning. Show yourself patience; you are on a journey.

~ Shannon Yvette Tanner

•

You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then move on!

~ Wayne Dyer

•

If we doubt that the foundation for inner work is compassion for self and self-honoring behavior, we need only remind ourselves that the opposite approach, feeling guilty or judging ourselves has never really worked.

~ John Earle

•

Dwelling on past bad decisions you've made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.

~ Mandy Hale

•

When thinking about life remember this: no amount of guilt can solve the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.

~ Unknown

•

An exciting and inspiring future awaits you beyond the noise in your mind, beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity, and heaviness of the past you carry around.

~ Debbie Ford

•

Forgiveness takes the burden of hate, guilt, and bitterness off your back and, with a lighter load, you can climb higher and faster, and be much happier in the process.

~ Unknown

•

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but wisdom, understanding, and love.

~ Jennifer Edwards

•

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

~ Oscar Wilde

•

Guilt can either hold you back from growing, or it can show you what you need to shift in your life.

~ Unknown

•

The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.

~ Stephen Richards

Mistakes = wisdom

I don't think that you have any insight whatsoever into your capacity for good until you have some well-developed insight into your capacity for evil.

~ Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

•

You cannot travel back in time to fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better.

~ Leon Brown

•

Your past mistakes are meant to guide you not define you.

~ Unknown

•

The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.

~ Unknown

Vulnerability mindset

Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong.

~ Ann Patchett; What Now?

•

I don’t want to be a perfectionist. I am choosing to let this one go.

~ Beth Main

•

Self-hatred does not serve me.

~ The Yogamad, 45 Forgiveness Affirmations to Let Go of Pain and Find Freedom

Self-awareness

Become aware of the negative ways perfectionism affects you. A few of the problems the authors address in Too Perfect are procrastination, missed deadlines, pickiness, difficulty making decisions, avoiding commitments, lost opportunities, general dissatisfaction with life, guardedness in relationships, and constant worry and ruminations.

~ Beth Main

•

Forgive yourself for what you think you’ve done or not done. At every moment, you had your reasons for all of your actions and decisions. You’ve always done the best that you could do. Forgive yourself.

~ Doreen Virtue

•

Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.

~ Mark Victor Hansen

•

Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love.

~ Amy Leigh Mercree

•

The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself.

~ Confucius

•

There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors. It not only clears up the air of guilt and defensiveness but often helps solve the problem created by the error.

~ Dale Carnegie

✨💙✨💙✨💙✨

I hope this helps! Take care 😊

[chordata-on-alterhumanity]

The Chordata Guide to Otherlinking

Hello! This is a guide written from my own experiences, and a tiny bit of consulting with other ‘linkers. If you can think of ways to improve this, let me know, and I’ll update the original post. This is Version 1.1.

What is otherlinking? What is a linktype?

Otherlinking is the active choice of identifying as something. This sounds very vague, so let’s have an example: Imagining yourself as a lion makes you more confident, so you like doing that frequently. Identifying as a lion becomes a part of your identity.

For many of us, otherlinking includes consciously taking on traits of out linktype (imitating/“fake it ‘til you make it” OR strengthening already existing traits by focusing on them through a linktype). This is a form of mindfulness training. For example: I would like to be as calm and collected as insert-fictional-character. In stressful situations, I think “How would they react?” and try to act that way by imagining myself as them. If this revolves around already existing traits, a linktype can help amplify those traits.

Let's get some vocabulary out of the way first, for everyone who comes across this and isn’t familiar with otherlinking.

● Linktype / Otherlink / 'link- A voluntary identity a person takes on. I.e. I identify as a woodpecker because I want to. This identity can be of a real existing or extinct animal or plant, a mythological being, a fictional being or person, an object, a concept, et cetera.

● Otherlinker - A person with a linktype.

● Otherlinking - The act of having a linktype.

● Copinglink / C'link - A subcategory of linktype. A copinglink is a linktype created for coping with trauma, stress, et cetera.

● Copinglinker - A person with a copinglink.

● Copinglinking - The act of having a copinglink.

Requirements

You might ask yourself: "I want a linktype. What're the requirements to get one?" Well, you already got all the requirements down. To take on a linktype, you need to want one. Whether you feel compelled to take one on, or you feel it could help you in some way, or you decide you want to try this just for the heck of it, it's all valid. You want, you can.

How?

This is the trickier part, and it varies from person to person. I will give a basic rundown. Adjust this for your personal needs where you see fit.

1. Find your being/thing/concept.

2. Examine your reasons for why you want to call this yourself.

3.a. Your reasons for wanting the linktype might already be enough to make the identity feel right.

3.b. If you don't feel yourself clicking with the potential 'link, and struggle with identifying as it, analyze it to find the traits that don't resonate with you. You can change parts of the 'link, or view it through a different lens to make it feel closer to home. I.e. For fictional characters, it can help to disengage from fandom interpretation, or canon characterization, and instead put your own spin on them.

4. Once you've established a connection, you can reinforce it if you want to. A linktype can feel very faint at the start, so here are some examples for what you can do to make it feel more 'You':

● Wear clothing you can associate with the 'link.

● Inform yourself about new hobbies that you can associate with your linktype. I.e. If your linktype is an archer and you've never tried archery before, see if you can find an archery range open to newbies nearby.

● If you are a visual artist, create drawings of your linktype in a way that relates to your irl person. I.e. Draw the linktype in your clothes, or in irl places you've been in person.

● If you're a writer, write something including your linktype in a way that relates to you. I.e. Include them in a story inspired by real life events that have happened to you.

● Make the linktype your social media profile picture.

● Let people know they can use the linktype's name as a nickname for you.

● Change your social media alias/username to be related to the linktype’s name.

● Talk to people who will treat you as your linktype (and not just view it as roleplaying).

Don't be ashamed of expressing yourself in fear of other people’s opinions. Unless you're dependent on them (for money, safety, or other physical and mental health needs), it doesn't matter what they think.

Caution

If at any point in your journey you notice that a linktype makes you feel worse about yourself than you do without the linktype (i.e. feeding into anger, self-hatred), stop it. These dangers can already crop up during the ‘link creation process. Here are ways to go about this, and possible causes:

● Stop engaging with it. This sounds very 'It'll go away if I ignore it long enough', but that's exactly it. A linktype should fade when you don't engage with it anymore. Don't approach this by thinking "I'm not allowed to think about this anymore", but instead, every time when your linktype comes up, acknowledge it, and replace that thought with something else. If you struggle with this, examine what 'triggers' you to think of your linktype. Mindfulness is a powerful thing that often goes underestimated.

● Replace it with a different linktype that doesn't bring these problems.

● If your linktype started off without these issues, try to find out what caused it to change to become negative. Maybe there are other factors in your life that're putting stress on you and it shows through your linktype.

● Maybe you’ve outgrown your linktype. People can change over time, and your linktype could be preventing you from taking the next steps for personal growth, and this can negatively influence your well-being. Try letting go of the linktype. It might turn out the be a freeing experience.

● Talk to a therapist (, or, if you can’t access therapy, an understanding friend). Yes, tell them specifically about the linktype and the problems you have with it. A second person can shine a light on aspects you didn’t notice.

Good to know

A linktype can become an integral part to yourself, and at some point you might find it hard to separate it from yourself. Is this still a linktype? Is it a kintype (otherkin)? That is for you to know and decide. The lines can be blurry, and at the end of the day you are the only person who can decide what labels you want to use and what community has the most in common with you (if you even want to label yourself and interact with ppl w similar experiences). Unless it is harming you (or others), a linktype turned integral is nothing bad. Our environments shape us as people constantly, and a linktype over time can contribute similarly.

🐟

That’s it! If you have questions or need help, feel free to contact me through Asks or DMs. If I’m unavailable, search around a bit to find other otherlinkers who might be able to help you. ♡

[chasingpj]

𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫

pairing: leo valdez x child of iris!reader

requested?: yes!

translation: full of color

warnings: uhh, mentions of mental health and ?? maybe some typos lmao

category: headcanons, fluff, best friends to lovers

pre-relationship

though, leo saw you around camp often, you caught interest in him before he caught interest in you

i mean, he literally couldn't miss you because your outfits were always bright, whether it was a combination of colors or monochromatic

you and your siblings actually look like a rainbow threw up on you guys, and it's honestly iconic

no one at camp can not notice the children of iris, especially when they're in a herd

one day, you were sitting alone at a picnic table near the lake, and you found yourself drawing him in your sketchbook

you sketched a portrait of him while he spoke to piper at a table nearby

you've always found the floppy curls and how his brightest smiles always look a little manic to be adorable

when you sketched his portrait in your notebook, you didn’t intend for him ever to see it

until a couple of weeks later in the arts and crafts center, leo passed by and caught sight of a new project you were working on

he stopped in his tracks to compliment your drawing

since you were nowhere near done with it, you couldn’t admire the piece as much as he was

but his enthusiasm was so endearing

he politely asked if he could see more, and you didn’t hesitate to slide over your sketchbook

he noticed a lot of your drawings were scenery and people at camp; especially your siblings

he stumbled across a detailed sketch of a woman and her child sitting in a bus

“wow… who’s this?”

“oh, I don’t know. It was just a little girl I saw on the train with her mother.”

“so you just drew her?”

you never realized how weird your habit of drawing random people was until he had asked

you giggled nervously, quick to explain yourself, “I tend to draw people or things that I find beautiful. I wanted to capture how calm and happy she was with her child ‘cause at the time, I was stressed and angry. Watching and drawing her made me calm.”

leo nodded, a faint smile on his lips before looking back down at the drawing. “that’s really cool,” he complimented, and you shifted in your seat, suddenly shy.

And then it hit you

you were so willing to show leo all your works that you had completely forgotten that his portrait was in that book

your pulse thumped loud in your ears, mind racing to figure out a way to take away your sketchbook before he could see it

you ended up spending so long thinking of what to do that he arrived on the page in no time

right before he could see the drawing in its entirety, you slammed the book closed and snatched it

leo’s startled expression turned into a mischievous smirk

“was that me?”

you froze in your place; a squeaky sound escaped your throat in your embarrassment

leo’s brown eyes sparkled as he leaned into you, your gaze fixed on his, “y/n, you think I’m beautiful?”

AHHHH!

^^ that was you in your head btw

leo laughed, amused at your attempt to deny it

“then why did you snatch it away?” he raises an eyebrow before reaching over quickly to grab the sketchbook back

you didn't pull it out of his reach fast enough, leo getting a grip on one side

the two of you pull it back and forth, leo laughing at you as you continued to deny what he saw

though you were incredibly embarrassed, you couldn't contain the laughter bubbling in your chest

gods, of course, this would happen to me, you thought

he got it out of your grip, and you sighed in defeat, watching him flip to the page of him and piper

he was quiet, studying the picture for a second before giving you that playful smirk

“you think I’m beautiful?” he asked again

you playfully rolled your eyes, “it was more piper than you.”

your tone was sarcastic, only fueling leo’s banter with you

“oh really?” he chuckled to himself, “but i’m the only one colored in.”

you were silent at his observation before scoffing, “whatever.”

leo only laughed as you take the book away from him

“don’t you have somewhere to be, fire boy?” you asked and nudged his shoulder

the glint in your eyes made him smile, and he shrugged, “i guess i do. i'll see you around."

you nodded, too shy to do anything else, and he walked off

after that, leo took it upon himself to talk to you every day

leo teased you about the drawing all the time, and he found the way you would play along to be funny

before you both fell in love, you were close friends

you had such an optimistic point of view about life, and it was pretty contagious

somehow when leo was in the dumps about something, you always knew what to say

you were just so easy to talk to, and because of this, your friendship just grew naturally

your first kiss was towards the end of summer

leo invited you to hang out with him in bunker nine at, specifically, 6 pm

you teasingly asked if it was a date, and you remember the way he tensed up a bit

with a mumble, he asked, "what if it is?"

from the tone in his voice, you knew he wasn’t joking

in fact, his tone was hesitant, a part of him was expecting you to reject him

then the heavy pit in his stomach turned light when you smiled and said, "then I'm down."

the grin leo gave you made your heart flutter like crazy

your first date consisted of eating snacks and watching a movie on one of those portable DVD players

You picked up on the tension between you and him, and noticed the opportunities for a kiss kept passing

it was until Leo walked you to your cabin that night did you have a moment of boldness and asked, "so are you going to kiss me or?"

leo's eyes widen in surprise before his face broke out in the familiar smirk he gives when he flirts with you

you rolled your eyes playfully and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him into you

your first kiss was sweet and soft; a little awkward

his hands hovered over your sides for a second, not sure what to do with them until he decided to rest them on your waist

it was the perfect way to mark the beginning of your relationship

relationship

since you guys are both broke teenagers, you got creative with date nights

you came up with the idea of paint splattering with him

you guys got canvases, covered the walls and floors with plastic to make sure you didn't dirty them

then you filled water balloons with paint and just threw them

despite you guys singing and dancing around in the midst of it, the canvases came out so good

and to commemorate the beginning of your relationship, you hung them up side by side in bunker nine, and when you guys get a place together, you hang them up in the hallway of your apartment

leo is a huge gift giver; as i’ve said before in my “how he shows he loves you” headcanons

he’s made you a lot of things; canvases, jewelry, little trinkets with scrap metal

one of your favorite gifts from him is a suncatcher with rainbow quartz

you fell in love with it and when you move in together, you make sure to hang it up in the kitchen with the bunch of other suncatchers that he’s made you

i love the idea that you would attempt to bring more color in his wardrobe

a lot of his clothes are muted in color; you don’t mind it but you were interested to see what he’d look like in a colorful outfit like yours

To say the least, he was not that enthusiastic and maybe, you shouldn’t have put him in a monochromatic orange outfit but… you still thought he looked cute

leo thought he looked like a traffic cone though so it didn’t stick

it’s okay because you like him the way he is anyways

another thing is that you guys are super supportive of each other and leo loves just how you manage to lift his mood

once leo was having a bad mental health week

you guys were sitting under a tree, looking out at the water

his head laid on your shoulder and small sniffles came from the other

it hurt to see him like this and you wished you could do more to make him feel better

then you had the greatest idea to make a rainbow for him

so you did

leo was so stunned when he saw the rainbow form over the lake

he looked at you surprised and when you admitted to making the rainbow for him, the emotion on his face was indescribable

and then you laughed and held him when he started crying because he said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him

another time, you insisted that meditation would be good for him

he literally sat down for like 3 minutes with his eyes closed before he was itching to get up and do something

even when he was sitting down, he was still bouncing his legs and fidgeting

so that fell through too but you still helped him in other ways and he’s so grateful for your optimism and bubbly personality

leo always says that you bring color to everything; literally and figuratively

one of the things you bring color to is his life

and he’s constantly reminding you of this; that his world just feels brighter now that you’re around

and it’s literal too

since you painted the walls of bunker nine a bright orange

he asked you why orange, and you told him because orange encourages productivity, creativity, and most importantly, optimism

it may have also reminded you of the orange outfit you put him into

anyways, you told him that it hurt you to see him get down in the dumps, and you insisted there was no way he could be sad in a bright orange room

needless to say, you were kinda right

masterlists taglist: @nct127bee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @cartocns @slytherclaw-kitten @idk-bye-no @percysbluehairbrush @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @drayshadow @ashookykooky @anything-forourmoony @loverstyless @yelenabel0vaswife @ohmydamgods @jordannfields @amy-writes-blog @muted-mayham @dreamerball @earthtokace @thehighladyofday @lala-llama123 @tootsdoll @slytherindaughterofposeidon0 @black-rose-29 @somekidnamedkai @possiblylostchasecousin @hamdehlesmis @cami05sworld @does-anyone-hear-me @sol-the-salmon

if your username is bolded that means i can’t tag you ! you probably have your visibility settings on!

[arhvste]

❝ miya atsumu - @notatsumu ❞

in which your boyfriend has a finsta, he just doesn’t know that you know about it,, until you slip up

an - this is for @4kinor1 because she got married to atsumu today and she’s hot <3

giggling to himself, atsumu let himself fall back on the spacious shared bed with his phone in his hands above his face. a wide smile was spread across his face as he stared at the screen. the luminous light flickered in reflection to his eyes as he failed to tear his eyes away.

to anyone else, it’s would’ve looked like the blonde was just staring at any old instagram feed. you on the other hand, knew exactly what he was staring at and it warmed your heart everytime you caught him on his phone staring at certain content. recently, you had discovered atsumu had a whole finsta account only he allowed himself to follow. how you found it? his username wasn’t exactly complex and considering he only followed 96 people on the social media platform on his main account, it wasn’t a surprise the account name ‘@notatsumu’ had come up in your suggestions.

you didn’t mean to discover he had a whole finsta account littered of and with you photos of you, but you did and the fact was confirmed to you a while ago when atsumu had handed you his phone to search something up, but had forgotten to close out of the account. obviously it caught your eye and it would’ve been weirder to not look; so you did just that. a faint guilt crept up inside of you as you scrolled through the multiple photos your boyfriend had captured and posted for himself to look back on, but it simultaneously filled your heart knowing he thought to do such a thing. to keep a social diary for himself of the thing he loved the most; you.

that was the first and last time you saw the account. you never opened it again because atsumu never left an open opportunity to do so like he did the first time. you already felt fulfilled enough knowing exactly what it was that brought him so much joy whilst looking at his phone. there was a particular glint the setter caught in his eye whenever you noticed him looking at his own account or uploading a thread of new photos to it.

“tsumu!” you called out making him jump. the phone slipped out of his hands and landed flat on his face resulting in a very distressed atsumu. “fuck!” he yelped letting the phone slide off his face and onto the floor as he brought both hands up to cup his own face.

immediately, you rushed over to his side where you replaced his hands with your own, cooing soft apologies and pressing warm kisses over his face. “i forgive ya don’t worry.” he assured you, relishing in the attention you were showering him with.

phone nearly forgotten about on the floor, atsumu brought his hands up to cup your own face as he smiled warmly at you. his whole world right above his head, your eyes providing as the universe with twinkling stars. grabbing for the device on the floor, atsumu held the phone up and shamelessly snapped the sight before him as you laughed. “mugshot.” he muttered as if it would cover his tracks.

you smiled and shook your head. “caption it something nice okay?” your comment just a passing one but atsumu’s eyes widened as he halted. “pardon?” he quirked an eyebrow as you stated at him from below. realising your mistake, you hands flew to your mouth.

“what?” you airily laughed in attempts to brush off your slip up hoping he wouldn’t notice. “caption it? why would i caption it?” his tone curious with traces of panic.

“just in case you wanna post it on your instagram or something.” you cautiously spoke, each sentence risky as if your words were keeping you on thin ice and one wrong move could send you through and into the cold and piercing water.

“my main?” he pressed on unknowingly leaving you an opening. “you have another account other than your main?” you feigned curiosity as atsumu’s frown tugged a little more.

“hm maybe.” he replied turning his phone off and putting it down on the bedside table beside him. catvcube you off guard, atsumu’s hand reached your waist as he suddenly pulled you onto the bed on top of him where he held your hips firmly in place. “but ya knew that already, didn’t ya?” a smirk crept on on his face as you felt your cheeks warm up.

you didn’t know how to reply. should you confess to your knowledge of his account? should you keep feigning ignorance? you weren’t too sure but your boyfriends grip on you told you he was going to get the responses he wanted one way or another. his fingers began moving as you felt the familiar feeling of your boyfriends persistence begin. you squirmed on top of him as he bang tickling your sides.

“admit it, ya knew i had another instagram.” he demanded, smirk still present on his face. your laughs filled the room as atsumu’s heart filled with joy. “n-no!” you continued ignorance as you felt your body begin to ache from the constant distraction of atsumu’s fingers. “liar!” he whined as he showed no mercy.

tears began streaming down your face as your stomach began to hurt. giving in you held your hands up and tried to catch your breath. “o-okay! okay t-tsumu i-i knew!” you sighed in relief as atsumu’s movements came to a halt, an embarrassed smile now taking form on his face.

“it was an accident though, you left it open when you gave me your phone one time and i, well i saw.” you admitted, heat rising to your face once more.

atsumu bit the inside of his cheek as he turned away a little, bashfulness building up. “ya don’t think... it’s weird... do ya?” he queered, eyes averting from your own.

dismissing his insecurity you gasped and shook your head profusely. “no, no, no! tsumu, no it’s not weird! i actually think... it’s kinda cute.” your voice genuine threaded with the thinnest thread of embarrassment yourself. to have someone love you as much as atsumu did, you were bound to get a little flustered sometimes. he was good at doing that.

“ya sure? cause i can delete it if you-“

“-atsumu. i love you. it’s not weird.” you cupped the sides of his face as he stared up at you with adoration. his love grew for you by the second. the lengths he had gone to in attempts to cover his social activity seemed stupid now. there was never a need to hide it from you. this was just his love language and now he felt bad from depriving you of hearing it.

“sorry.” he muttered, calloused hand reaching up to interlock with one of your own resting on his face. you smiled as shook your head. “no, i’m sorry for intruding on your personal things. i should’ve closed it down myself.” you assured him as his eyes twinkled, his love for you forever expanding.

lowering yourself so you were pressed against his chest, you pressed your lips upon atsumu’s warm ones as he melted into your touch. only you had this effect on him. nobody else ever able to compare to the way you made him feel. you were the only one with the key to the cage of butterflies situated inside of him, unlocked whenever you were around him. the feeling of his heart glowing only ever occurred when you were involved. you quite literally made him brighter. his smile wider and crinkles under his eyes more prominent. miya atsumu was hopeless when it came to you.

pulling away, atsumu sighed as he rested a hand against your cheek, thumb lovingly swiping over your cheekbone.

“i love ya.” he confirmed, nothing but genuine and raw love evident in his tone.

“i love you too tsumu.” you replied softly, the same adoration he held for you clear in your own eyes.

you stayed like that just for a few moments, the feeling of natural but solid love blanketing over the two of you as your boyfriend held you tighter in his arms, his whole world exactly where he needed it to be.

“i’d love you even more if you let me be your second follower though.” you spoke up cheekily, a grin creeping up on your face.

and how was atsumu’s supposed to say no when you looked like that?

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[saabbi]

Regret part 8

Home

Genshin Impact Adeptus!au

warnings: -

notes: I definitely did NOT forget tumblr and posted this chapter on all other platforms except here. ao3 series link

[previous] [next]

A wave of nausea hits you, as you sit up with a throbbing headache. Your pounding head feels like it’s about to crack open, and the bumpy searide is definitely not helping, disrupting you from your much needed rest.

Knock knock. You dragged your body to the door, opening it to find a crew member greeting you.

“Hey! Our crew has prepared some meals, the captain asked if you’d like to sit with us to eat as well?”

“It’s fine, I don’t-” rumble , your stomach rumbles like the storms in Inazuma. Oh, how embarrassed you are.

“Oh my, you must be starving! Come on out! It should be ready!” they drag you out, seating you by the round table with several dishes already served.

Adepti don’t need sustenance , you remember what Xiao always said. Which is, or was , true, as you never felt the need to consume food, eating was only an act to satisfy your own taste buds, not that you ate much except for occasional snacks Childe brings you. But archons do you finally understand the word famished .

The Crux’s crew members are all amiable towards you and lively; filling your bowl with rice to the brim, keeps on adding more meat and vegetables to your bowl after seeing you wolf down the food given like you haven’t eaten for days- you couldn’t even thank them fast enough with your mouth full. The captain, boisterous and energetic, would tell you stories of the crew’s sea journeys while you devoured the dishes. It’s the first time we’ve had a Snezhnayan onboard , she told you with her crew’s eyes sparkling and nodding in agreement.

“So...you’re what they call the harbingers, right? From the Fatui-gang thing? Why are you heading to Liyue?” The captain nonchalantly asked you, causing your hands to freeze on the spot.

Swallowing the mouthful of rice and putting down your chopsticks, you lowered your voice, “Um, I was one, until recently. For now I suppose I’m… meeting up with old friends back in Liyue.” You awkwardly rubbed your neck. The harbinger title may once mean everything to you, but not anymore.

“Oh... is that so?” Beidou sensed stiffness from you, deciding not to press any further, “well, starting off fresh doesn't always mean it’s bad, and meeting up with good old friends huh? That is quite nice, must be looking forward to it, huh?”

“Yes...i-it is quite nice…” Beidou chuckles at your slightly flustered response and lightly ruffles your hair, then continues to stuff your bowl with even more food to make sure you eat enough. She said that you looked pale and sickly, urging you to gobble down more food, with you unable to protest with your mouth full.

.

.

.

You’re definitely less agile compared to before. Your body doesn’t feel as light, no longer able to reach high grounds with a simple jump. Your sword is also a lot heavier than it was, or maybe you just lost strength.

“The clean strikes and experience hidden in the stance...impressive indeed, gozaru. ” a uniquely dressed crewmate who saw you practicing your swings clap at your demonstration. You remember Beidou calling him Kazuha, he seems to be impressed at your skills which are aged like fine wine. Your swings are less powerful and slower than before, but you still have your swordsmanship skills and techniques embedded in you.

“Yet you seem a bit… preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?”

You put your blade aside and lean on the railing of the ship, aimlessly tracing the waves that seem to chase after the ship, “I’m not sure what to say when I see him again.”

What should you say when you see Zhongli? Long time no see? I was fired by the Tsarista herself, so I came back? Everything just sounds incredibly wrong.

“There’s a lot of things I want to say, but I also don’t know what to tell him.”

The tingling excitement in you clashes with the anxiousness, uncertain of how to face Zhongli. You were once an adeptus of Liyue, then the twelve harbinger of the Fatui, and now… you lost both titles. You even lost your adeptal powers, could you even consider yourself an adeptus now? How would Zhongli respond when he hears all of this? You sigh, wishing the ship would give you more time for mental preparation before reaching Liyue.

“I’m sure that your feelings, just like the wind, will surely properly reach them. What’s important is that you convey them before everything’s too late.” Kazuha gazes distantly into the ocean. You overlook the lingering loneliness in his last sentence, deciding you’re not in the position to pry into it and put your focus onto the gentle rocking of the sea instead.

.

.

.

Zhongli paces back and forth continuously by the harbour, rubbing his fingers apprehensively with a stern expression on his face which made even Hutao, who was passing by the harbour, not dare to sneak up and pull a prank on him.

Zhongli, usually a calm and reserved man, well liked by people, now shooting up and flinching at the slightest noise of a ship’s horn and looking around with uneasiness, seemingly searching for something, received confused looks from passersby.

Zhongli, who received a letter not long ago, delivered in a hurry by one of Childe’s subordinates, spit his pu-erh tea out when he read the contents. The letter was short, with messy and almost unreadable handwriting which seemed to be written in a rush, and only included a very brief idea of what happened in Snezhnaya, something about you getting exiled and hurt, now returning to Liyue on Crux, telling him to wait at the harbour for Crux and to get you home safe.

That letter gave him no further useful information at all on your safety, or whatever craziness happened to you, which nowhere reassures him. He fumbles with the letter until it’s all crumbled and wrinkly, as if it would speed up Crux’s arrival.

The blast of a ship’s horn grabs his attention, eyes widen at the long awaited sight of the majestic ship.

Zhongli spots you effortlessly among the crewmates, mouth slightly parting as his golden amber eyes lock onto yours. You watch as his ponytail dances freely in the wind, his diamond pupils containing mixed swirls of emotions.

Suddenly, you feel like a guilty child who secretly ate candy before dinnertime and turned your head away at lightning speed as you waited for Beidou to park her ship by the docks.

“Excuse me.” Zhongli hurriedly makes his way to where you are, scuffling across the harbour and pushing the offboarding crewmates aside. He needs to confirm that you’re okay. He halts just before the boarding plank, your figure located at the other end of it, standing slightly above him. A wave of intense relief rushed up his head making his vision spin for a second. You’re alright, you’re safe.

“Zhongli,” the worries you held dissipate upon the presence of him, your quiet voice reaching his ears without getting carried away by the wind.

Time is never enough, everytime he sees you, he is reminded of this saying. Never enough time to make amendments, never enough time to love his children and his people the way they deserved it. Time is never enough, but for you, he’ll always make time, as long as he still has the chance to do so, as long as you’re still here, alive and well.

Zhongli is not a man of many desires. The waves brought you back to Liyue, to him. What more to that would he ask for? He has all the time for you.

“I’m back, Morax.” You muster up the courage and break the silence, your words concise and firm. Morax, the name you liked most, also the one you’re most familiar with. You take a step forward, so does he.

“Yes, my child,”A soft smile gently spreads across Zhongli’s face, one that radiates warmth and relief. “Welcome back.”

Zhongli takes another step, his arm reaching out to you and the gloved palms spread open right before you, awaiting.

“Let’s go home.”

This time, without reluctance, you respond by taking up his offered hand.

You’re home.

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