#cause its pretty heavily distorted

[krizkrozapplesoz]

give \o/ ∞

I WANT TO SHOW YOU THE WORST THINGS ABOUT ME not out of anxiety, but out of pride and you'd laugh and you'd say "I'm so glad you're mine."

5H4D0W H34R7Z by Ada Rock

[rafry]

Euclydia, Cults and Need for Control

Disclaimer: this analysis raises sensitive topics. if you are/were a victim of a cult and the topic triggers you, please refrain from reading further(/seek help). Additionally, I am not a specialist on said topic, nor am I a clinician. But I am a survivor, so part of the narrative may or may not be just me projecting the trauma on a silly yellow triangle. That said, reader discretion is advised! :)

The take: Euclydia is likely to be a cult-like society and the reason Bill, after years of abuse, grows up to be as he is: a power-hungry monster. Let's analyze!

For the starters, The Start. Each state has its own anthem. How lucky that we were kindly provided with the Euclidian hymn (hidden under the code "FORGETTHEPAST")! Lets take a look:

"Two dimensions to and from, You always know which way to go If you're lost, don't be afraid, In Euclydia you've got it made! Run too far too right of frame, You'll appear on left again! Jump too high, don't fry or fret, You'll pop up from the ground, I bet! In this place there is no fear, Roles and rules, always clear, Euclydia, we hold you dear…"

That tells us way more than we could've asked for, really. The most important: Euclydia is a state of Clear Rules™. Everything works perfectly thanks to The Rules and The Roles, and the state is loved by it's citizens. It's might be a caricature 2D utopia, but how it reacts when the rules are questioned?

"Eye doctor of a different kind, who wants to make his patient blind The doctor says: 'three sips a day will make the visions go away' Fussy eater, baby Billy Wouldn't drink unless it's silly..."

If there's anything about cults and the way they make people behave, is that the "wrong" ones in the community are usually ostracized and/or heavily medicated to not cause any troubles. Those people are sometimes called 'heretics', but may as well just be called crazy or insane by their peers. Oh look completely unrelated picture:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane Starting fires with his brain"

Honestly, the other time it would be it. Euclydia, if not Is, then sure does Act like a cult in some way. I could've finished here, easily, but there's something missing, isn't?

"The hell do you mean by 'The Need to Control', OP?"

I mean that the BILLVILLE is important.

There's the thing about trauma survivors: some of us, after living a life with no control over ones societal position (ostracization/isolation), body (forcibly medicated) or even mind (feeling of inadequacy), crave for some form of control to be regained.

It can turn toxic very quickly when the only form of control one has ever seen in their life is being The Leader (cult leader/shitty parent/armageddon overlord/you get the idea, it's about becoming an authority figure).

And so, Bill becomes a cult leader! Very possibly covering up the need for control and admiration with what I call "The most inefficient way to build an Interdimentional Portal ever", since, well, he's got to lie to himself every now and then, that's his thing (trauma response).

As for the details:

He uses the dead mans body — the body that wouldn't cause any resistance, thus being perfect for taking under control.

He sees the position of the interviewer as more authoritative than the position of the interviewee — and he swaps the roles. That wasn't enough though, so he demands (politely) to be called "My Lord And Master" for a good measure.

He very possibly recreates some of Euclydia-like order in his own "Town" in terms of expressing individuality. They might've been pretty decent in following scripts, I think.

So, I don't think Euclydia has ever been religious in any way, since that would left some other scars on Bills psyche for sure. But highly authoritative, ignorant, strict in its rules to the point of self-damnation? That checks. That's the place that has formed Bill, after all.

That's the place that he wishes to rebuild.

Maybe not consciously, maybe distorted by his illness and broken memory of a loving-paradise-home that has never actually been that way, but he seeks the comfort of familiarity — most of us do. Familiar stings are better than an uncontrollable too-bright future, isn't?

I hope he does well on therapy.

[sage-nebula]

When The Owl House first came out, there was a lot of discussion surrounding how King could potentially be Bill, with the most common theory being that Bill had somehow been reincarnated into King by the Axolotl. After all, not only does Alex Hirsch voice both of them, but the voice he uses for King is very similar to the voice he uses for Bill. (Very similar, but not the exact same; apart from not having the voice distortion, King's voice is higher pitched. King's voice is basically Bill's voice before Bill hit puberty, lmao.) Apart from that, both King and Bill are demons; King had an obsession with ruling, power, and conquest; King has yellow sclera; and, well, people were desperate for connections between Gravity Falls and The Owl House, to the point where I actually did end up pretty annoyed for awhile that people weren't letting The Owl House stand on its own two feet and were instead treating it like a sequel show. (Though there are actual, canonical connections between them now, the most notable being that Eda married Stan for less than 24 hours in Vegas so that she could rob him blind, lmao. He still thinks fondly of her to this day, as he should.)

I bring this up because I never really subscribed to this theory, or thought very much of it . . . until now. It's not that I think the theory is more plausible now, but more that I think that the idea holds a sort of poetic beauty to it now, if it was true. (Which again, I don't think it necessarily is, but more that it's a nice "what if" to think about.) And the reason for that comes from information that we gained from The Book of Bill, along with additional information that we've now gained from the website, along with how King's story arc developed and played out in The Owl House. (So, spoilers for that show, the new book, and the website if you haven't kept up with any of that.)

Essentially:

It's been heavily implied for years now (to the point where, in my personal opinion, it was known, but to be safe I'm saying heavily implied) that Bill destroyed his home dimension. In the show, Bill says that he "liberated" his home dimension, and when he brings it up, there is fiery imagery around him that is similar to the rift that opens in the sky to link Gravity Falls to the Nightmare Realm during Weirdmageddon. Then, in one of the spinoff books, when Dipper asks the Axolotl about Bill, the Axolotl says, "Saw his own dimension burn [. . .] blame the arson for the fire." Considering that Bill said that he "liberated" his dimension with fire imagery, and the Axolotl says that he saw his dimension burn (and blames the arson, rather than the arsonist for the fire) . . . the conclusion can easily be drawn that Bill's "liberation" was actually "destruction." Which makes sense, when you remember what he wanted to do to Earth during Weirdmageddon.

Nonetheless, we have had that confirmed now thanks to The Book of Bill and the website. We know that when Bill tries to recant what happened to his dimension, there is a loud ringing in his ears and he blacks out; we know that he looks "more distant than [Ford] had ever seen him" when he tries to recount the story to Ford (implying dissociation; we know that he told his henchmaniacs the "liberation" story and that he freaks out when Time Baby tries to speak openly about what actually happened and who actually caused it; and we know that, during his therapy sessions in the Theraprism, when the therapist tries to turn the discussion to his parents, he shuts down discussion altogether. (And also only draws red and blue triangles during his art sessions, implying that may be what his parents looked like.)

So we know that: Bill destroyed his own dimension, that he's the sole survivor of the massacre, that he was severely traumatized by this (because he didn't intend to massacre his entire people, he honestly was trying to help them see what he could see -- the third dimension) and that he just handled his trauma in the worst possible way, particularly since he did not have anyone left to give him a support system. A billion years without a proper support system or any form of healing, sinking further and further into denial, rationalization, and detachment (outlined on Bill's page on morality as his tools of the trade), lying until his lies were no longer lies to himself, made Bill into the monster he is today.

But then the Pines family defeated him (thanks to Stan), he invoked the name of the Axolotl, and got sent to the Theraprism. He hates it there, and he is so deeply entrenched in the lies-he-no-longer-recognizes-as-lies that he is not making any progress. As Alex said at one of the Barnes & Noble Q&As, what Bill really needs is to actually be honest with himself, but it's unknown if he will ever be able to do that. Until he can do that, the hope of him actually making progress at the Theraprism is nil.

But here is the thing about the Theraprism. Well, here are the two things about the Theraprism:

The first is that we are told that the Theraprism is a place specifically devoted to reincarnation. The reason why the "King is reincarnated Bill" theory was popular before was mostly due to the reasons I mentioned above, but also because of another line in the Axolotl's poem: "A different form, a different time." People understood this to mean reincarnation, and it's easy to see why. But for me personally, I always found it a bit strange that the Axolotl would simply let Bill reincarnate simply by calling out for help. Would that really be all it took for the Axolotl? True, the Axolotl is the god of this universe, and Jesus (from how I understand it) is all about "accept me as your savior and you're immediately absolved of all sins," but I also felt that was just too easy of a Get Out of Death Free card for Bill. It was a very clean getaway, considering everything.

But The Book of Bill makes it evident that isn't the case. As it is described by the Theraprism employee in the book:

"Here at the Theraprism, we believe death can be the beginning of a new life. With good behavior, former wizards, world-eating titans, and even Mr. Cipher have many exciting options for reincarnation -- perhaps as a newt, shrimp, or a cloud of fungal spores!"

The Axolotl also made this clear to Bill (though Bill misunderstood entirely:

"You cannot regrow through denial. You'll have to face my hardest trial. See my program to the end, then you may yet live again. You're getting what you need the most; one way to absolve your crimes, to change your form will take some time."

Now, many of you are probably thinking: a baby titan from the Boiling Isles is a huge leap from newts, shrimp, and fungal spores. I would agree with you; it seems that the Theraprism does tend to pick very lowly life forms for the big bads they rehabilitate to reincarnate into. But here are the reasons why I think it would be poetic if it were King, and therefore why I like to think that it would be nice if this were the case:

Like Bill, King is the last of his kind. Unlike Bill, this is through no fault of King's own; the other titans were wiped out before King even hatched, and King's father had to hastily inscribe runes to protect him from the titan hunters (or archivists?) so that they couldn't find and kill him as well by destroying his egg. Nonetheless, King is the sole survivor of a genocide and this is something that weighs heavily on him and influences his character arc in a big way in the second half of the show. The fact that he doesn't know what he is lends struggle to him trying to discover who he is. Yes, he's in a family of misfits, but Eda and Luz know what they are and who they come from. King doesn't have that. King has no basis for what he is, or why he was abandoned -- none of it. And then when he does finally start to get answers, it's to learn that his people were massacred in a genocide; that there are people still out there who want to kill him; that he is going to grow to be a deity-like figure, that he'll outlive those he loves . . . King is a child of about eight-years-old, but he has so, so much weighing on him already.

But where Bill accidentally destroyed his dimension and killed everyone in it, and then was crushed under the weight of that trauma because he was left alone and covered in blood, King did have that family of misfits to support and love him through it all. He was still burdened by the fact that he didn't know what he was or where he came from, but Eda, Hooty, Luz, and eventually Lilith gave him unconditional love and a home and support to figure all of that out, to the point where it was King's idea to be formally adopted by Eda and change his name to King Clawthorne. And while he will eventually outlive them all, he made a friend in The Collector who is also immortal, so he'll never be truly alone.

Essentially, what I'm getting at here is: there are parallels in Bill's and King's story, now that we know Bill's backstory. They aren't the exact same, especially since King was not responsible for what happened to the other titans. But there are still parallels that can be made. But whereas things ended as badly as they could possibly end up for Bill, King's story had a much better ending. So if we imagine that Bill was reincarnated as King, then it is almost like he got a do-over. Like he was put in a similar situation, but this time he was found by a new adoptive mother who raised him with love and care, and got an adoptive big sister, and owl tube house mate, and aunt, as well as a ton of friends. He suffered trauma, but this time he didn't have to suffer it alone, and was able to handle it in a much better, much healthier way. Yes, he's an all-powerful demon (or at least, he will be someday, when he grows into an adult). But this time he isn't going to be causing any apocalypses, or delighting in any mortal suffering. This time, things are going to be different for him, because his soul completed the Axolotl's program in the Theraprism and he was able to reincarnate for that second chance.

(And if you're thinking, "But The Owl House doesn't take place that long after Gravity Falls, so how is that possible?" Well, the Theraprism exists outside of time and space, so it doesn't matter how many millennia it takes for Bill to complete the program. He literally has all the time in the multiverse.)

So I'm on board with this theory now. Again, I do not think it's canon. But it's a nice idea, and one that I think has a poetic sweetness to it. No one has to agree, of course, but that's just my take on it.

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

i'm sure One Million Kazillion people have asked you this but if not Perpep for the ask game?

Just one more! This is specifically for Beforan Perpep. Not Bard's Collage or Alternia. Perpep

favorite thing about them Playing her is so fun. She's just a little guy. She is just a little guy, yknow? I also love how she talks. Its not the best transcribed on my part but its just cute. Her intonation is cute.

least favorite thing about them Probably just my... like. Inability to keep up with her timescale... I decided all my ocs have some time distortion shit going on with them because of my executive dysfunction. There are. several things in her drafts that are there because i wanted to draw a picture for it and never did. There are... so many...

favorite line Ok so if youve been here for a while, she once was really mad at Raveri, the other Raveri, and wrote a whole rant about him. That was funny I liked that. I also liked the time she was talking about the horrorterrors and drew one of them with her text.

brOTP Uhhhhhh I still dont really get this im ngl. An otp but platonic, so either a qppr or like... just being good friends? buddies? Well that'd've probably also been old Raveri. They were sopor chess buddies. They did sopor slime and played chess.

OTP Uh... Hm... Yknow, again, I don't really ship Perpep. I guess her alt!self Oftcas has an 'otp' with (B!)Detheo. Their wierd fuckin biuniversal asses. Postgame she has a pitch thing going on with Somati, but her whole situation makes it kind of... I think her intimacy is pretty heavily wounded. Yknow... from being a human pet. Being without a relationship after so long of it being the default is hard though. Something that happens during the game that makes this part easier, but she does feel it really intensely. It's why she gets with Somati actually. Its technically pitch and she thinks of it that way even if it resembles a pale relationship a little more because of how Perpep is. It's not entirely NOT pale on somati's part, but it is pitch. Not the angry kind of pitch though, the like... theyre two individually really chill people who start fucking with shit to compete when theyre together. Mentos and coke ship.

nOTP Shrugs. You'd probably think I'd say Perpep and her culler, but thats narratively interesting to me. Uhhh I guess she would be really bad with Alpha Detheo. Like they wouldn't mix at all and their preconceptions about the other would clash so bad i think they might just kind of avoid eachother a little bit. Curiosity on both sides, with fear twinging Perpep's and logical guilt on Detheo's. Logical guilt being like... not guilt guilt but like. Ah a version of me hurt this person in a very sick way. This has added a level of morality to my self image that is troubling and I will have to consider deeply what went wrong in my other life to ensure something like that does not happen in this one. Also I should stay away from Perpep because she definitely doesn't want any more Detheo in her life. (Not entirely wrong on that last count but not right either)

random headcanon Perpep is the cuddliest motherfucker on the planet. During her session, about from the Entering when she loses track of Cinimon to her death during the Among Us conference between her, Miyers, Respit, and Sphinx, she's really fucking nervous and crabby because of touch starvation. Thats actually part of why she throws so much shade during that little meeting. She's not got a lot of emotional skill, so when she feels negatively, those emotions leech into her other emotions like dye in water. She has a hard time distinguishing between different stressors almost. Like if her emotional state was a body, and her stress was caused by a horsefly biting her on one side, she would project the same anger in every direction. She's new to this, yk.

unpopular opinion uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh My unpopular opinion is you should go on her blog and look at the posts under #captures and appreciate those drawings :-)

song i associate with them Ohoho. Hold on let me get the Perpeplaylist Taroko by August Greenwood Death by Melanie Martinez New Normal by Jack Stauber Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown I Can Talk by Two Door Cinema Club Otherside by the Red Hot Chilipeppers Sports by Beach Bunny (Voiceclaim also) Wreckingball specifically the cover by The Orion Experience In that order. LMK if you have any guesses on how her timeline fits to those. I feel like its pretty obvious but I am also the writer so yk.

favorite picture of them

This is stil the funniest thing ive ever drawn i think. She flashbanged herself poor fishie.

This one which is still way detailed. Im kinda sad no one ever asked about the collar, to get a closer look at the picture, the bullet, the rook, the tiny grub hons, the necklaces, the bident, or . any of that. I also planned to have it be more obvious that those are *somati's* clothes. If you look in captures you'll see his dad's dead body. Thats where she got the sgrub disks. College and Exec disorder got in the way of the pictures of Snapdad i planned for Somati to post... I might end up redoing that though. Shrug.

And obviously this picture from her postgame band on Continua. LOOK At her. she is such a sweetie.

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

Wait sorry could you elaborate a little about that housing post? My experience (heavily influenced by college towns to be clear) has been that landlord corporations will buy up single family homes quickly for cash, which means that 1) there is a shortage of housing for people who want to purchase homes rather than rent, 2) the landlord companies are extremely predatory and rent to students charging them each $$$$ to live there no matter how many people are living in the house, and 3) building new housing, including multifamily apartments, does nothing to fix this because it's built by developer corporations that set ridiculously high rents and don't care if many of the units are unoccupied. I can see how the proposed legislation would do nothing but shift who's getting screwed over, but I don't see how "build more housing" on its own actually fixes the root issue if the new housing is just as expensive + it's still the predatory landlord companies owning everything. But I also don't know very much about this outside of my general observations.

Yes, I can elaborate!

There's a shortage of housing for everyone in the US, period, which is making the housing that does exist more valuable, period. This makes owning a rental property a great investment (super low vacancy rate!), and it also makes buying a condo purely as somewhere to stash your money for a while a great investment (price almost guaranteed to be higher when you sell it later!). All this competition does make it harder for people who want to buy a home just to live in themselves, but the investors they're competing against are reacting ""rationally"" to a general scarcity that already exists.

College towns, because of the relatively fixed base demand of students needing places to live close to campus, are unfortunately really prone to predatory landlords -- I mean, I was in college 2006-2010 when the housing bubble burst and there was basically no effect on student rent prices. All 25,000 of us students were still all competing for the same scrubby rental houses.

[much elaboration below the cut...]

What does affect the student housing prices is changing land use code to allow mid-rise apartment buildings. The new housing was expensive, top of the market, sure, but buildings are crazy expensive to build right now, and the building is also pretty nice. So suddenly the wealthiest 1,000 students are living in the brand new 20-story building with the in-house pool and gym, and now there's only 24,000 students chasing the same scrubby rental houses. The effect on prices is far from immediate, but after a few mid-rise apartment buildings go up, after you get maybe 5,000 new units to the market, people have more options and the natural vacancy rate starts creeping up? The owners of the scrubbiest rental houses start to worry. With so many other options for renters, do they have to lower rents to compete? Fix up their units? Or do they have to sell off a couple properties, maybe the ones furthest from campus? Or do they have to get out of the business altogether?

This is overly simplified of course, and, depending on other factors, increasing housing supply might only result in less upward pressure on rent prices, but you can actually see all the 'how to get rich without working' passive income bros start to freak out in real time on twitter when a town where they own a small rental empire starts upzoning and issuing building permits, because what they're exploiting to make money is housing scarcity.

There are a couple of general ideas around this floating around in various states of exaggeration that are misrepresentations or distortions of reality. To address a couple...

This video addresses the idea that inspired the proposed legislation from a few days ago, the idea that the housing shortage is being caused by Wall Street investors buying up single-family homes.

This article is really important in addressing something you mentioned, the idea that landlords "don't care if many of the units are unoccupied". The number of unoccupied units, otherwise known as the vacancy rate (and its inverse, the occupancy rate), is something landlords care a lot about.

This in-depth report describes a relatively new company that offers landlords not just software, but access to a dataset of all rental rates in their area. Not just asking rents for available listed units, but all rents being charged for every unit. Using this dataset, the software recommends that landlords set their rents some amount higher and accept a (slightly) lower occupancy rate.

The company had been seeking occupancy levels of 97% or 98% in markets where it was a leader, Winn said. But when it began using YieldStar, managers saw that raising rents and leaving some apartments vacant made more money. “Initially, it was very hard for executives to accept that they could operate at 94% or 96% and achieve a higher NOI by increasing rents,” Winn said on the call, referring to net operating income. The company “began utilizing RealPage to operate at 95%, while seeing revenue increases of 3% to 4%.”

I feel like people are imagining a building with maybe 20% vacancy? Maybe 30% vacancy if you were imagining a particularly greedy landlord?? But this article describes a shift from 2-3% vacancy (basically enough to allow a short turnover period between tenants) to 5% vacancy. And even that, the landlords could hardly stomach at first! Because vacant units feels like leaving money on the table, it goes against all their business sense.

But a shift from 2-3% to 5% vacancy still takes some units off the market, right? Well, yes, but a) I wouldn't call that "many", and b) in the grand scheme of things it means waiting a couple more months between tenancies. That's certainly not good, but the far more devastating effect of this scheme is that a small increase in the vacancy rate is no longer a downward force on rent prices.

So let's say they've been operating at 98% occupancy, charging $1000/mo rent. To take in 4% more revenue at 95% occupancy, that's basically a 7% increase in rent, $1073/mo. At that price, for revenue to fall back to what they'd been making before at 98% occupancy (which presumably was enough to cover operating expenses), the occupancy would have to drop to 91%.

So where this company would previously only tolerate maybe a 3% vacancy before dropping rents to fill their available units, this company now would tolerate a 9% vacancy rate in theory. Because of the demand for housing being what it is they're operating at 5% vacancy and just raking in profits like they describe.

On the one hand, this is definitely a huge problem. This company's software has become incredibly prevalent among landlords across the country, and the DOJ is currently investigating this company for antitrust violations because of the data sharing and price-setting that this company/algorithm has enabled. So that's encouraging!

On the other hand, this whole scheme wouldn't even be possible if we didn't have a housing shortage to begin with. In a housing surplus, the first building to fall below their vacancy threshold would have to start lowering rents and leasing more units to cover the difference, those additional units on the market would start to increase vacancy rates in other buildings and they'd do the same thing, and the whole house of cards would collapse.

tl;dr: Yes, the new housing itself (without subsidies from every level of government to build an affordable housing development) will likely be top of the market (after all, it's brand new) but housing scarcity generally allows everybody to jack up rents and behave predatorily, even the landlords of the oldest and shittiest rentals, and the only counter against that that doesn't leave somebody out in the cold is to increase housing supply.

[fallowhearth]

Branching out into book reviews...

Just finished Age of Ash (Kithamar Trilogy) by Daniel Abraham. Abraham is the author of the Dagger and the Coin series, as well as one half of the Expanse pen-name.

I had mixed feelings about the Dagger and the Coin series, despite liking it enough to finish all six books. There were many elements I thought were well done, and the character work was mostly excellent (one or two glaring exceptions in the cast), but the negative elements were weighted heavily enough that they brought the whole thing down for me. Some truly eye-rollingly cliche character beats, and most damningly for me, despite it being a series about "the Coin", Abraham does not understand economic history. Baru Cormorant this ain't.

That is all to say, I liked Age of Ash much better. The conceit is that two impoverished girls become embroiled in a high political intrigue plot reaching the highest echelons of the city after the murder of one girl's brother. It improves on pretty much every element I disliked in the prior series.

The two main protagonists are well drawn and believable. Alys spends much of the book in the role of antagonist to pure cinnamon roll Sammish, and Abraham here excels as usual in putting you in the head of someone behaving poorly. It's a believable and compelling portrayal of someone in the throes of grief, and the distorted thinking that can cause. And for all I jest, Sammish also comes out as a fairly rounded character. She is my favourite though.

The world of Kithamar the city balances lush (but occasionally overdone) prose with an apparent new-found understanding of how economies work. It's one of the better portrayals of how a 'low end' of town could function. Longhill comes through as a place with a real living culture, and significantly, a place with actual economic function. We follow Sammish as she strings together the various small jobs she can access, and it feels like a believable portrayal of paycheck to paycheck living.

In terms of the main plot, I was initially intrigued by reviews I'd read that complained of a nearly incomprehensible cloak and dagger plot occurring offscreen that was impossible for the reader to understand or follow. This sounded great - I love Harrow the Ninth! Unfortunately (fortunately?) I have to report that these reviewers may just be stupid. I love a convoluted cloak and dagger plot, but the intrigue here is fairly straight forward, presumably to account for the fact we are seeing it through the eyes of characters on the periphery. The factions emerge fairly early and there aren't really any great reversals or reveals. This is fine for its part - it's less about wallowing in the intrigue and more about the personal/interpersonal for Alys and Sammish.

You may have noticed that the other series I've mentioned so far have been in the 'lesbian space atrocities' genre, and that's not just because they are the only referents I know how to reference (though that is also true). Age of Ash may not exactly be in the neighbourhood of lesbian space atrocities, but it's... a neighbour to the neighbourhood. If only because it's far less ambitious than is characteristic. Sammish is in love with her friend, a hopeless puppy love that leads her to act in ways she knows to be foolish (relatable). In an interesting variation, Sammish does not get the girl - she realises she can do better than that specific girl. (Which, she can.) The emotional throughline of the book is partly a coming of age for Sammish: gaining confidence and letting go of her youthful dreams for the future when they no longer serve her.

Overall, would recommend, and I'll likely read the sequels, but not revolutionary.

[cynicalone94]

Chapter 11. Outside Income

When Intelligence gets pulled in to solve a case that another unit can't seem to close, evidence quickly begins to suggest that the gang they're investigating has man on the inside. But what shouldn't be a big deal, Intelligence is known for rooting out corruption, quickly becomes a very big deal when something goes very, very wrong.

Read on AO3 here.

The threat of Jay being intubated again is hanging heavily over the room.

He’s managing with an oxygen mask at a hundred percent high flow but he’s struggling.

Now that the swelling and fluid buildup have come down, they’ve been able to get a clear CT. And the results aren’t promising.

There’s a lot of damaged and irritated tissue in his trachea and lungs that’s making it harder for them to do the job of pulling in oxygen.

Will is trying to stay positive, telling her that as severe as the damage is it’s only partial thickness and that as it heals his lung capacity is expected to increase.

But right now, sitting here watching her partner wheezing like a ninety year old man makes it hard to believe that.

And the fear that she can see in Will’s eyes doesn’t help either.

He may believe that there will be improvement but he doesn’t know how much his brother’s lungs will heal any more than she does.

He’s scared; terrified that while Ethan was able to save his brother’s life he might now have been able to save his future.

And that scares her too because she knows her partner. Knows that if he can’t return to the job that he loves it will gut him.

She’d been so relieved when he’d woken up, when they’d gotten him off the ventilator; relieved that he seemed to be healing.

The glimmer of hope just makes the worry she feels now even harder to handle.

At least Jay is mostly sleeping through it all. The ongoing fight just to keep breathing has exhausted him enough that he basically only wakes up when the nurses come in to clean the burns on his torso.

They’re still angry and red but so far it looks like they’ve managed to stave off infection.

The shape of the first brand, up by his right shoulder is cleanly defined and shows the outline of a motorcycle that’s commonly seen in the Rider’s tagging. The other two are a lot less clear, distorted by the way the skin had been torn by the ripping away of the cooling brand but still recognizable as a four and an eight.

The assholes had basically signed their work.

She tries to remind herself that Voight is taking care of it, that with Marston cooperating they’ve finally broken into the gang, getting the deadly drug mix off the streets.

The house of cards is coming down and last she heard the gang members are scurrying like rats in an attempt to escape justice. But Voight won’t let any of them get away.

Her job is to take care of her partner.

And right now it feels like she’s doing a pretty crappy job of it.

Jay tosses and twists in the bed, eyes drifting open.

“Hails?” he rasps.

His voice is weak and croaky and she takes his hand.

“Yeah. I’m here partner.”

“Tired.” he says, blinking slowly.

“I know you are.” she says, rubbing his forearm.

“H’rts.” he whispers.

“Your chest?” she asks.

He nods.

She presses the call button.

“Maybe they can give you something more for it.” she offers.

Of course his chest hurts, his lungs had been badly burned. Every breath that he struggles through probably causes him incredible pain.

And while he’s been given pain medication that doesn’t mean that its enough, even though she knows Will has mentioned that his brother seems to burn through pain medication faster than most.

She’d thought that Will was making something up the first time he’d told her that pain medication didn’t seem to work the same for his brother. That is doesn’t seem to work as well or last as long.

But then she’d seen it in action herself. Seen her partner writhing in pain despite a heavy dose of morphine.

And worse yet had been listening to a med student tell her that he didn’t need any more. That the only people who had that kind of tolerance were addicts and maybe the reminder of what the medication was actually meant to be used for would help him in the future.

Will had swept in a few minutes later, setting a hook in the asshole so that he could finish ripping him a new one later before ordering additional medication for his brother to increase the efficacy of the morphine.

The verbal ass kicking he’d given the med student had become legendary at Chicago Med and for the most part everyone knows better than to comment on Jay’s tolerance.

And for the most part it’s meant that doctors are a little more careful about making sure they’re adequately managing Jay’s pain.

But part of her hopes that this doctor is one that hasn’t heard the story, that maybe he’s under-medicating her partner.

Because if that’s the case it means there’s something they can do to ease his discomfort.

And it’s always fun to witness Will kicking ass and taking names when someone isn’t taking as good care of his brother as they should be.

The nurse that answers her quickly agrees to fetch the doctor and it isn’t too long before he’s walking into the room.

“The nurse tells me your experiencing a lot of chest pain.” he says, with a sympathetic smile.

Jay nods.

“Your brother mentioned that you are a little under responsive to pain medication.” he says, looking over the chart notes. “I’m already giving you more morphine than recommended. There are a few medications that we can add that might increase its effect.”

Jay doesn’t answer and Hailey squeezes his hand.

He doesn’t want stronger pain medication and she knows it. He hates the way it makes him feel, hates being judged for needing more when it doesn’t cut it, hates that sometimes he gets judged for how much he’s already been given when it still isn’t enough.

“Alright.” the doctor says. “I’ll go put in an order for the medication. Just hang in there, Jay. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you are healing. Your oxygen sats are coming up, albeit slowly. ”

Jay nods, offering a weak smile and the doctor hurries from the room.

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

Been thinking about just what happened on top of the Wolf Hotel building in Ghost Splinter 2.

Under a readmore cause I know what I'm like

The fight itself is pretty much the same.

Before Splinter is impaled, the main difference was that he was trying to fight Shredder whilst also keeping himself in his original mutant form. In this au him not knowing Shredder was right behind him was due to a mix of relief, checking how April and Raph were, and trying to use what little remaining energy he had to avoid transforming.

There's a few seconds after Splinter is impaled where he manages to hold onto his living appearance. He knows that there's no way he can hide what he is from his children anymore, at least two of them have seen him sustain a life ending injury, but he still tries to hold himself together admist the agony. If they're going to find out this way, then he wants to at least look recognisable.

He doesn't want his kids to see the monster he's become.

But there's not enough energy left and at least two of his children are in danger.

Shredder has just enough time to monologue before ink begins drippping down his arm. When he tries to throw Splinter off the building, he can't - Splinter's dug his claws in and is refusing to let go.

Raph and April can see what's happening, but their brains can't make sense of it. They watch as Splinter goes from the Sensei they know and is distorted into something they don't recognise.

His obessession being kicked into overdrive also means he's not acting like himself. Ninjutsu is replaced by attacks they'd expect to see from a feral rat - there's no poise or elegance. It's not even fighting without thinking. The monster that they just saw Splinter turn into is clawing and biting and hisssing. It reminds them of when they returned to New York and found Splinter had lost his mind.

Shredder is landing hits, but it doesn't do him any good. He cuts one of Splinter's arms off, but two regrow in its place and swipe at him. He spears a leg to the floor - it seperates into peices and Splinter is free to persue him again.

At some point, Shredder tries to go for April and Raph, reasoning that they'll be easier targets.

That was a mistake.

By the time Splinter throws him off the hotel, Shredder is in significantly worse shape than in canon. Casey turning the trash compactor on also does its far share of damage.

Back on the roof, Splinter makes this horrible, ear-splitting roar. It sounds like the noise he made in Darkest Plight, after his eyes turned black. It's also the first thing Leo, Don and Mikey see when they reach the top of the building: this, this thing that can't be their father roaring.

Inky puddles and green blood are everywhere. Raph and April are as okay as they can be but Raph won't take his eyes off the creature and April is frozen in place. Mikey takes Raph from her shoulder, and Donnie joins Leo in standing between their family and whatever that is.

Splinter is nowhere to be seen.

Leo wants to ask where Splinter is. From the ground he'd seen Shredder attack, but Splinter isn't on the roof. And unless he got thrown off the building whilst Leo and his brothers climbed it, Leo has no idea where his father could be.

Splinter finishes roaring and turns to find all but two of his children are behind him already. He's exhausted, but glad to see them all okay. Raph is leaning on Mikey heavily and Splinter decides that just because they look alright doesn't mean he shouldn't check.

From Leo's perspective, a giant monster made of ink with a rat's skull for a head has just thrown Shredder off a building and is now advancing on them. Leo doesn't know how he's going to fight something that took Shredder down, but he knows he has to protect his family at all costs, so he runs foward and swings his sword at it.

Leo: Don't get any closer!

He cuts through one of Splinter's (many) hands and Splinter is too shocked to do anything other than flinch even as his hand repairs itself.

Splinter knew that he'd transformed, but he doesn't know what he was expecting his children to do. In the weeks since dying, whenever he thought about telling them he would think about how they'd react, largely to figure out the best way to tell them. Other times it was to torment himself with what could go wrong.

But he hadn't ever considered they'd find out this way. That the choice as to when they found out would be taken completely out of his hands and they'd find out in the worst way possible.

He hadn't predicted them not recognising him and attacking.

Behind them Donnie turns to ask where Splinter is. He doesn't know if his father could fight whatever this is, but Splinter's chances are better than theirs. Did he get knocked off the building? Is Sensei okay? Oh god please tell him Splinter isn't dead, he can't be -

Raph just keeps staring at the monster. Slowly, ever so slowly, April points at it.

April: That's Splinter.

Donnie: No, that's not- that can't- April-

And the monster says: Leonardo, please, it is alright

It's... it sounds like Splinter. Distorted by thick ink, yes, but still Splinter. And the way he's standing isn't threatening. He's backed up as much as he can to give Leo more room, which isn't a lot considering his size, but an attempt was made.

Leo: No, you're not. You're not him! Where's Splinter? Where's my father?

Splinter: I am right here, my son

[therealdeathoracle]

Hi Death!

I have biology finals coming up and a major topic is…*drumrolls* evolution!! Here’s your chance to infodump me with everything you know about evolution, if you’d like to :)

OMG OK YES ILL INFO DUMP

I’ve studied eyes a lot so I’m gonna start there: pupils fascinate me a lot because of how heavily they impact our vision. Human's have rounded pupils, that we all know, but it allows us as a general predatory species to see pretty far into the distance in daylight. Other animals that have pupils like us, such as wolves, are top predators in their habitats so they don't need to worry about being hunted, so the lack of night vision and not having a wide field of view isn't something that would negatively affect them, at least not severely. Then there's vertically slit pupils that are common in cats and venomous snakes. These pupils expand to become circular in bright light, it's because of this that those animals are fantastic ambush predators. The ability to change the shape of their pupil allows them to see in a wide range of light even in the dark. And then of course there's horizontal pupils which are almost always found in animals that graze and have their eyes on the sides of their heads. The shape of that pupil allows for the ground to remain in very sharp focus while having an incredibly wide field of view. They're perfect for prey animals to keep an eye out for predators on the horizon and escape with ease should there be one. Now there's a lot of fascinating pupil's I've learned exist outside of those three commonly known ones. For example many fish have crescent or W shaped pupils. These allow for light to be absorbed in various parts of the eye rather than just in one. That allows them to see with a lot of contrast while negating the distortion that is naturally caused by the reflection of light in water. Or there's horizontally slit pupils which are found in prey-like amphibians such as frogs and toads. Just like with vertically slit pupils they expand to allow for more light to be taken in throughout the day and night while they forage, but because they are horizontal they allow the animals to easily spot vertical motion above them so they can evade predators attacking from above. And then there's vertical beaded pupils which frustrate me so much because I haven't been able to find much of anything about them. These can be found in some geckos, they look just like a normal vertical slit pupil but they have these bumps up and down it that create this beaded look to them. Those bumps are supposed to aid in perceiving distance and aid in adapting to hunting in a variety of environments.

Irises are also really interesting, although I haven't done a lot of research on them, so I only know with humans and not much else, if it even is different among other animals. The color, while hereditary, are determined by its ability to reflect light. So the lighter the color is, the more light gets reflected and vise versa. However, melanin is the pigment that decides how much of that light gets reflected, but melanin is brown so how do we have a variety of colors that aren't brown? Once again that is melanin! Despite being a brown pigment it can create colors that are even as light as blue in eyes, this is because of how the light gets reflected. Less melanin in your eyes causes your iris to be seen as blue, while more can cause it to be green, and a large amount turns it brown. Albinism has an interesting affect on it because it leaves you with a complete lack of melanin, most people with albinism have blue eyes because they still produce a very small amount of melanin. There's even a chance at being albino but still producing enough melanin to create hazel, green, or brown eyes. However if there is a complete lack of melanin then the iris will be viewed as red because of the light reflecting off blood vessels in the eye, and in incredibly rare cases if an albino person produces melanin in their eyes but not enough to turn it blue they can combine it with the reflection of their blood vessels and cause them to have very light purple eyes

I was going to add more but I feel like I've already written a lot here so if you'd like me to share about some other stuff then let me know, I hope this all made sense though!

[prinxejeanne]

requests you say ?? hmmmmmmmmmm

how about some anti angst my dear?? bring on the tears. i dare ya /lh

congrats on all your well deserved followers <<33

This took WAY too long- I'm so sorry about that, dude :<

This also ended up being hurt/comfort because I need my softness >:)

[[Angsty Antisepticeye drabble, could be interpreted as an x reader if you squint?? There's not really anything romantic though, the reader's just comforting him while he's having a hard time.]]

[[Warnings: Self-deprication, blood, brief mentions of violence, reader is comforting someone who doesn't know how to accept help from others 👁👁 (a.k.a. me /hj) . ]]

You weren't very close with Anti- to be honest, you were kind of annoyed by the guy. He was always making some kind of lewd joke, always getting into fights with people, always talking about how much he hated your friends... The only reason you interacted with him was because he lived in the same house as Chase, and you were pretty close with the divorced dad.

So when you walked into house to the sound of muffled wailing coming from the bathroom, you were... surprised, to say the least.

Chase wasn't home, and this wasn't the kind of place someone would normally break into, so you knew immediately that it was Anti.

That, and the auditory distortions helped you figure it out.

You peeked through the open door to find the glitching demon curled up into a fetal position on the floor. "Uh- you good?" you asked, causing Anti to jump up and scramble away from the door.

It had a thin gash along one cheek, and his nose was bleeding pretty heavily.

"Holy shit, Anti! What happened?" you asked, hastily looking in your bag for something to stop the bleeding.

"Fucking... got my ass beat," he muttered, wiping the tears from his face and smearing the blood along with it.

You found some cotton balls and stuffed them into Anti's bleeding nostril, causing a grumble of annoyance from the other.

"With who? The Russian mafia or some shit?"

You got a hand towel wet with the bathroom faucet, moving to dab off the blood that was already smeared over the glitch's face.

"Dark," he replied bluntly, trying to move away from the towel and growling a bit, like a territorial stray cat.

"Well, I don't know who the hell that is, but they need to learn how to control themselves," you muttered, gripping his jaw to hold his head in place as you cleaned off his face. The demon paused for a moment, a shocked look on its face. You squinted your eyes at him. "What's with the look you're giving me?"

"Nothing, I just- you don't know who Dark is?" he replied, dumbfounded. "How?"

"Never met them," you muttered. "Are they a demon too?"

Anti grunted, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I guess you could say that," it muttered. "Dark's a mirror-bound demon. I'm a computer-bound demon."

You nodded, not entirely paying attention as you found some rubbing alcohol and poured it onto a clean part of the towel. "This is gonna sting," you warned, before gently pressing the towel to the cut on Anti's face.

He winced, moving away for a moment before begrudgingly letting you disinfect the cut.

"So, why'd you get in a fight with Dark?" you asked, concerned by how reluctant Anti was to accept your help.

"Dunno... thought I could beat them this time," he said quietly, glaring at the wall. "I'm fucking stupid, is what it is."

You paused for a moment, even more concerned now.

"What do you mean? You're stupid for losing a fight?" you asked.

"No, I'm stupid for initiating a fight with the goody two-shoes. Dark beats me at everything- fighting, socializing, looks... they're way better than a random shithead like me."

"Woah, wait a minute- cool it with the self-deprication," you interjected, causing Anti to roll his eyes again. "The more you talk like that, the worse you'll feel."

At this, Anti sniffles and started crying again. You paused, mentally cursing at yourself for being so brash.

"What I meant is... you're better than you give yourself credit for," you explain. "Maybe you have flaws, but I'm sure Dark has some too!"

It crossed his arms, hugging his knees to his chest and huffing. "Well it definitely doesn't seem like it," he muttered spitefully.

"Well, they basically made your brains bleed out through your nose after already proving that they could beat you in a fight," you reply. "That seems like a flaw to me."

Anti was silent for a moment, letting you put a small bandaid on his face.

"...I guess you're right."

"I'm always right," you teased, causing the demon to roll its eyes. "There- you're all better now."

Anti raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin creeping onto his face.

"Aren't you gonna kiss it better?" he asked, chuckling smugly.

"Yeah, eat shit," you retort, causing a chuckle from the both of you.

"And, uh- thank you," he adds awkwardly, clearly unused to thanking someone. You grin.

"Don't worry about it, glitch bitch."

[kurapixel]

Pokemon Lorestuff

This is all leadup required to understand why it's heavily implied canon that PLA protag is a Faller (of the amnesiac kind) and also a post-DPPt/BDSP Dawn/Lucas and likely not an alternative iteration of them, therefore making PLA a sequel.

(Spoiler heavy for: Legends Arceus, SM/USUM, ORAS, and XY, including post-games)

(I wrote this part after writing this all out but: I'm assuming familiarity with the canon Pokemon game multiverse because it and space-time travel has been a thing for a while. I'm tired of writing this essay so i will not write more essays. You can go play or watch or read lore of the spoiled games and figure it out yourself if that was a surprise to you)

So to catch people up with the necessary bits from PLA:

PLA is a main series game. This has been confirmed by Nintendo and The Pokemon Company, and is marketed as such. Because it is a "main series" game, it uses and is "Pokemon main series" game canon. ...That's a mouthful, so assume whenever I talk about canon I am talking about this canon only, and not spinoff or anime or manga canons

You play as a character who looks like Dawn/Akari or Lucas/Rei.

This character is from modern times (wears t-shirt and shorts, has a smartphone)

This character is spat out of a space-time rift, and lands on a beach

Ingo is in the game. He has lost most of his memories, but he became one of the Wardens because he's a skilled Pokemon trainer.

A character remarks protag looks like a 15-year old

Alpha Pokemon and Frenzied Nobles are caused by Pokemon being hit by lightning that come out of space-time rifts

Space-time distortions randomly appear and, as an in-game mechanic, transport rarer and unusual Pokemon to Hisui

In a Doylist (designer/writer/developer) perspective:

Let's clarify: TPC is extremely protective of its canon, and when working with other companies that deal with canon, they have to sign off on it. For example, Pokemon Masters is Pokemon game Lore-Compliant--they explicitly signed off on any backstory/Pokemon that trainers are pulled into Pasio with, even if what happens in-game is not canon itself. I think they'd be more protective of what's being done in-house in the main series games. So most, if not all, details are done with intent.

They reused Dawn/Lucas's design, and while fine they have used the same design for different characters before (Gold and Ethan), they also explicitly decided to pull the protag from a different time and space into Hisui (who then changes into the outfit the rival Rei/Akari wears).

Honestly, I think it's strange they explicitly put in another Faller (Ingo) up front and center--completely unavoidable--unless they wanted to bring attention to Fallers, because they've largely been lore treats for people who play postgame (i.e. recognizing Anabel from Emerald, a non-mega-evo universe, is the same-and-not-different-iteration-of-a-character who isekai'd to SM/USUM; Looker, etc). They also remind us they tend to retain skills but lose most memories

When characters ask the protag about their previous world, in its relation to Pokemon, a lot of the choices you can pick are "I think so"/"I'm not sure"/"I don't remember". Devs make it pretty obvious protag has memory problems

It's likely not a coincidence that the writers chose to make the protag wash up on shore, remembering very little besides their name -- while not true to all Fallers, it is a deliberate callback to Anabel and Looker

They were literally going to put in DPPt/BDSP protag's room in PLA but it was cut, likely from the beginning. Note the pattern on the walls, the shape of the room/ceiling, the general placement of things like the rug/plant/laptop/tv/bed/exit/clock/window/console. It's very much intentionally designed, even if more furnished/detailed in PLA

The writers haven't written a Faller where we can't extrapolate which universe they came from (even if it's a universe we haven't experienced, like those of the Rainbow Rocket bosses), and it'd be odd to start -- therefore, I don't think it's a different iteration of Dawn/Lucas, it's the Dawn/Lucas we already know

As for a Watsonian (in-universe) perspective:

1) I'm 99% certain Ultra Wormholes are a kind of space-time distortion.

They're both portals to some kind of in-between space in which you can travel through space-time and reach other universes and/or dimensions.

They are associated with stronger and rarer/unusual Pokemon that you normally can't get otherwise.

They are also both associated with energy that can power Pokemon up, make them bigger/change form, and/or cause them to go into a frenzy. Frenzied Nobles are almost exactly like Totem Pokemon, except they're not "used to" the energy that come from the distortion, and go berserk. That is, wormholes have been a thing through Alola's history, but the PLA distortions are new.

I think it's likely similar things are probably different kinds of the same thing but given different names (i.e. Keokeo and Vulpix, lol) because these people are regions or worlds apart than it is for the same multiverse to have completely separate kinds of travel between universes or in space-time.

Anyways protag comes through one of these.

2) Protag is continually praised for being skilled at catching Pokemon

The game frames the protag as someone who is already good at and familiar with catching and battling with Pokemon, when literally everyone else in Hisui is terrified of them.

The protag is so good they almost immediately get into good graces with the Galaxy Team, even though they would have otherwise been left to die.

It makes more sense for Arceus to pull someone who has the skills of a Champion and has already saved the world by battling Palkia/Dialga/Giratina into Hisui than for Arceus to put some rando through all of PLA, lol

So yeah, I think it's pretty heavily implied canon.

[shoechoe]

diavolo and in the court of the crimson king

(this was asked about by @fullmusicbard​ a little while back and i thought it sounded fun to write about, so thanks a bunch for the suggestion)

 So, it’s a pretty well known fact by now that JoJo characters are often based off of or inspired by the music that they or their stand are named after. Pucci and “Made in Heaven”, Kira and “Killer Queen”, Trish and “Wannabe”, among many other examples, connect to or are influenced by their songs’ lyrics and meanings. However, the one that personally interests me the most is Diavolo and King Crimson, his stand and the progressive rock band that it shares a name with. In particular, I think what he largely took inspiration from is In the Court of the Crimson King, their debut album released in 1969. I’ve thought about this a lot already, so I thought it would be a fun idea to go through the five songs on that album and compare it to his character.

 (This is largely going to just be a bunch of interpretation on my part with no real knowledge on what went through Araki’s mind while writing, but I hope this still makes sense lol. Also, this turned out to be, uh... very long, but I broke up all of the songs and tangents into sections so you don’t have to read all of it. I basically just dissect Diavolo’s character and his prog rock-inspiration for several pages.)

The 21st Century Schizoid Man

 Being the very first song on the album, the 21st Century Schizoid Man is the most chaotic and energetic song out of every track on the record. It features dissonant tones and heavily distorted vocals, as well as mixed-genre elements of heavy metal, jazz and progressive rock.

 It’s also what the cover art of the album is based off of, with the screaming face representing the “21st Century Schizoid Man” himself.

(This is probably the reason why King Crimson as a stand makes such weird facial expressions.)

 This song was originally a criticism of the Vietnam War and the politicians who kept it going, being told through the perspective of the “Schizoid Man” that the song’s title references. While I don’t think the Vietnam aspect of the song is necessarily relevant to Diavolo, I do think that the lyrics inspire his character in other ways, both with his actions and overall personality. I’ll start off with the first verse of the song:

“Cat's foot, iron claw

Neuro-surgeons scream for more

At paranoia's poison door

Twenty-first century schizoid man”

 The first line, “Cat’s foot, iron claw” is supposed to show a contrast in strength. With a cat’s foot being relatively small and harmless on its own, the iron claw is the brutal, crushing force that comes attached to it. The most obvious connection I can think of with Vento Aureo is the nature of Doppio and Diavolo, with Doppio being the weaker and less harmful “cat’s foot” under the influence of the Boss, and Diavolo being the more powerful and controlling “iron claw” that comes with him. I also think it could be a potential reference to how King Crimson and Epitaph work together; Epitaph has the ability to see ten seconds into the future, which works in conjunction with King Crimson’s ability to erase or skip events in time. In this way, Epitaph is sort of the “cat’s foot”- fine on its own, and usable for simple defense (as we can see with Doppio), but deadly with the rest of King Crimson; and King Crimson being the “iron claw”, needing Epitaph to function properly but being the main source of the stand’s brute strength.

 The second and third line, “Neuro-surgeons scream for more/At paranoia’s poison door” are references to the mental illness and paranoia caused by death and destruction (specifically Vietnam, in the song’s original context). It relates to both the physical damage that soldiers took, requiring extensive surgery on a mass scale, and the extreme paranoia of U.S. leaders to lead to causing such destruction.

 Paranoia is an extremely major facet of Diavolo’s character. He goes to the absolute extreme to make sure his power and secrecy is never threatened, killing anyone he even views as a slight threat, even attempting to murder his own daughter in cold blood to cut off all ties from him and the rest of the world. Paranoia is his ‘poison’, ruining the lives of everyone who’s ever known or is related to him, causing evil and pointless violence to be unleashed onto his family and Italy as a whole.

“Blood rack, barbed wire

Politicians' funeral pyre

Innocents raped with napalm fire

Twenty-first century schizoid man”

This verse is intended to be a more explicit description of war, with destructive and gory imagery at play- blood, barbed wire, and napalm fire. The “funeral pyre” is the deaths of innocents resulting from the Vietnam War, being set up and caused by the politicians running it.

 A pyre is a structure made of wood used for burning a body as a part of a funeral ritual or method of cremation.

 The mention of a ritual like this is used to set up an image of dignity and respect, only to amalgamate this with the proceeding imagery of innocents being burned alive with napalm fire- technically similar to how pyres dispose of bodies, but instead of being a respectful way of disposing of a corpse, it has instead transformed into a horrifying method of murder on a mass scale.

 I think this is referenced by an event in Diavolo’s past, where it’s revealed that his hometown burned down due to a fire we are left to believe he started, killing a confirmed seven people and potentially more:

 Diavolo wanted to erase his history, so he massacred the place where he was known. Innocents were killed with literal fire, creating Diavolo’s “funeral pyre”.

Then we have the third and final verse:

“Death seed, blind man's greed”

The line “Death seed, blind man’s greed” is intentionally oxymoronic (seeds being the beginning of life, but death being the end), with the “death seed” being planted due to the greed and paranoia of the people in power, essentially blinding them from the seed “growing” into the hundreds of thousands of deaths, like a sort of “death tree”. This is about Diavolo and his own paranoia and greed leading to the deaths of dozens, potentially hundreds, of innocent people, and his seeming blindness or indifference to it.

“Poets' starving, children bleed”

 The “poets’ starving, children bleed” is supposed to represent society no longer valuing arts, as well as children and young men being harmed. As for Diavolo, his crimes, especially the ones that the story focuses on, very particularly target and involve children. The first negative effect we can see of his reign on Italy is that he allows drugs to be sold to minors, the youngest we see being only thirteen. He also tries to murder his fifteen-year-old daughter, and many of the members of Passione are children themselves- the main character himself, Giorno, getting involved with the mafia at only fifteen, as well as some of the supporting characters; Fugo being around sixteen and Narancia being seventeen. (Though, to be fair, you could probably just blame that part on Shonen logic and less on Diavolo...

 But at the same time, it’s pointed out more than once just how young Giorno is by the other characters.)

  “Nothing he's got he really needs

Twenty-first century schizoid man”

 These last two lines are the most interesting to me, so I’m going to go the most in-depth with them. First, I want to compare Diavolo to the other part five characters and what he is supposed to represent when seen with the rest of the story as a whole. In part five, the most major theme and center of the story focuses on friendship and forming connections with other people; character dynamics get very strong and intimate, with most major character motivation and drive for goodness being defined by their relationships and bonds with the other characters.

 One of the best examples of this is with the main character, Giorno. Unlike the protagonists in other parts, his strength doesn’t really come from raw power or toughness. Instead, he often acts more like a support character and healer for the other characters on the team, ending up with him taking a backseat in favor of the others pretty often. Really, there are very few fights in Vento Aureo that Giorno deals with completely on his own; he mostly uses his stand to heal and aid his team rather than using it directly as a weapon, unlike with Jotaro, for example. You really get the impression throughout the whole thing that one of his biggest assets are his allies and ability to guide and create group morale, not necessarily his individual power. He essentially represents the part’s name “golden wind”, stirring motivation in the others and becoming a leader and friend to them.

 You can also see this by taking a look at Bucciarati’s group. Bruno, being a kind and empathetic character, found the others when they were struggling with their lives and individually invited them to his gang in order to give them a purpose again. Due to this, we can see that they’re all deeply loyal to him, and to an extent, each other. In the end, they agree to join Bruno and become a traitor to the Boss because they value their alliance with him over the gang, even if it meant putting their lives in even more danger. If it weren’t for their friendship and loyalty towards him, they wouldn’t have agreed to do this.

 Then we have the secondary antagonists, La Squadra. As bad of people as they are, being hitmen, they continue this theme of friendship as well- when Sorbet and Gelato, two members of La Squadra that had been with them for a very long time, are murdered by another person that the Boss hired, and the rest of the group care to the point where they attend their funerals and begin a plot to betray the Boss and uncover his identity, you realize that these guys do genuinely care about and value each other as friends and allies. This is a stark change from most of the past villains in the series (with most just either never interacting or only being ‘united’ under having a common goal and never showing real care for one another).

 Most of the other minor antagonists share this theme, too, with them tending to come in pairs and working together with abilities that compliment each other. Tiziano and Squalo, Cioccolata and Secco, and even arguably characters like Sale and Zucchero are all partners that have been together for a long time, to the point where they like and care about each other and, particularly in Tiziano and Squalo’s case, are even willing to die for each other. In all of these cases, the focus is always on their relationships with each other and how they work side by side.

 I could go on with every detail and line of dialogue that shows this, but the point is that all of these characters care about one another, protect each other and give off the impression that working as a team with a good goal makes you stronger than you would ever be by yourself. It’s a major part of the overall moral of the story, with the protagonists banding together in the end to remove the source of Italy’s lingering problems.

 The defining trait that makes Diavolo stand out from everyone else is that... Well, he really has nobody. He doesn’t have any allies to fall back to, partners to rely on, or anybody that he genuinely considers a friend or family except maybe Doppio (but even then, their relationship is put under false pretenses with Diavolo actively lying to Doppio and keeping him in the dark about his true identity.) Instead of viewing love and having relationships as a strength, he views it as a weakness leaving him open to betrayal and vulnerability- in fact, if anything, he seems to be terrified of relationships, actively avoiding other people or getting attached to others in any capacity.

 You really see how warped his perspective is when you get glimpses into the way he lives. In his very first appearance, he is curled up in a dark corner of a room wearing a cloak to hide his face, so any potential passerby wouldn’t see what he looks like. It is revealed he doesn’t go out in public himself, instead going from hotel to hotel to keep moving around the country, never having a real place to stay. He’s a recluse to the most extreme degree, not even letting anybody know that he exists, let alone revealing anything about his status. He is unable to normally interact with the rest of the world or allow himself to relax about any potential threats in any moment of his life, whether that be a necessity due to being a mafia boss, simply the end result of years of sheer paranoia, or both.

 All of this built-up fear leads to the horrifying but inevitable result of him discovering the existence of his daughter, Trish, the consequence of an old relationship he’d long abandoned. Through the first half of Vento Aureo, he gave Bucciarati’s group orders to protect Trish while they delivered her to him, intentionally giving them the impression that he was intending on keeping her safe. However, when she was finally brought to him, he instead attempted to murder her, betraying the group and revealing what his true intentions were all along. Trish, being his own daughter, is someone that he should care about and want to protect... but instead, he only wanted to dispose of her in order to sever the very last tie from him and the rest of society.

 As evil of a character as he is, I would argue that Diavolo, at his core, is really supposed to represent the harm of self-isolation and the fear of connecting with other people. With it, he essentially functions as the antithesis to all of Vento Aureo’s themes; while everyone else has somebody to fall back on, Diavolo is alone. In this way, the line “nothing he’s got he really needs” fits with Diavolo in that all of his power as a mafia boss came at a sacrifice of his humanity, lacking all of the things that make the other characters ‘good’. He has gotten rid of all of the things that he needs for what he has, destroying his own life and his relationships in the process.

 Now, the real interesting thing about this song is the title, “The 21st Century Schizoid Man”. This is significant because it is referencing a condition called Schizoid Personality Disorder, which is a mental illness where someone actively tries to avoid social activities and interaction with other people. They may be seen as cold and emotionally detached, and they don’t desire or enjoy having personal relationships or bonds with others. The symptoms for the condition typically begin to show up in early adulthood, and known risk factors for the disorder include things like birth complications and childhood neglect.

Before I get into this, keep in mind that Diavolo is an exaggerated fictional character, and he doesn’t accurately represent any real person with this disorder. Do not use him as any standard for people with Schizoid Personality Disorder or assume people with SPD would act like him. (Honestly though, if you’re using jojo characters as a reference for how people act in real life, you’re kind of already doing something wrong). However, with that in mind, I do think that Diavolo was written with the intention of having the disorder, considering his connection to the song and what he is supposed to represent as a character; the “Schizoid Man” that the song is talking about seems to be him.

 The symptoms of Schizoid Personality Disorder match up with Diavolo’s character in multiple ways. The avoidance of social interaction and personal relationships, emotional detachment to other people, and the desire for independence are all things that Diavolo strongly exhibits in his personality and actions. (Also notice how Vento Aureo takes place in 2001, the first part to take place in the twenty-first century?)

Really, the only thing I can see against this is the fact that Doppio doesn’t seem to portray any symptoms of the same disorder. Considering that Doppio is around the physical age of a teenager, though, he might just be too young to have developed it.

 The fact that the disorder’s symptoms begin to show up in early adulthood and can form from childhood neglect would also line up with the implications from Diavolo’s past. Not only is trauma heavily implied due to both Diavolo’s strong hatred of and desire to erase his past and his canonical mental illness being caused by early childhood trauma, but we also see that he didn’t portray the same behavior back when he was a teenager. He was comfortable enough around other people to be a well-known person in his small town and even have a girlfriend, contrasting with the destructive recluse that we know he is in part five. This pieces together a narrative that shows he used to be a relatively normal person, but a combination of his potential trauma and lust for power drove him into a paranoid obsession with avoiding everyone and keeping his identity a secret- eventually developing into what we saw in Vento Aureo, with him refusing to even go out in public or having his name or face seen by anybody. To me, this does seem to suggest that he is written to have Schizoid Personality Disorder, which, in his case, ended up becoming exacerbated to an extreme point.

 With the rest of the song lyrics being easily connected in a way to describe him alongside many of his actions, I think it’s fairly clear that Diavolo is the 21st Century Schizoid Man, with the track directly describing him. I see this as the main song that inspires Diavolo and sets up a lot of the aspects of his narrative and way of thinking when compared to the other characters, and how he essentially works as the inverse to Vento Aureo’s themes.

I Talk to the Wind

 (Before I get into this next part: Here, I am going to talk about Doppio and Diavolo and their relationship. You’ll probably notice that I’m going to be using a lot of different terminologies than Vento Aureo uses to describe them. This is because, as this part was written back in the nineties, it uses a lot of outdated words and phrases for their disorder. For example, “Multiple Personality Disorder” is no longer the proper name for Dissociative Identity Disorder (or DID, for short). I will also be using the word “alter” instead of “personality” because, to my knowledge, the latter phrase is an overall inaccurate and outdated term to describe a DID system. Finally, keep in mind that Diavolo and Doppio are not accurate depictions of DID, and I only have an extremely surface-level understanding of the disorder, so nothing that I say here applies to real life in any way whatsoever.

 While I will use the proper terminology because I wouldn’t feel good about intentionally using the outdated and incorrect ones, I think it is a bad idea to introduce real-life DID symptoms for these two considering I don’t think there was any real effort put into making them ‘accurate’ in the first place. My interpretation of them and their mental illness will only use canonically stated or shown information about the disorder. If there is an aspect to them that contradicts, heavily exaggerates, or otherwise ignores the way DID typically works in real life, I will favor the unrealistic interpretation. I hope that makes sense.)

 So, around a few episodes after Diavolo is first established as a character, it’s revealed that he has Dissociative Identity Disorder. The other alter in the system is Doppio, the younger underboss of Passione. Diavolo uses Doppio to travel around undetected and as his most trusted right-hand man, carrying information and completing tasks for him. He is the only shown connection that Diavolo has to the outside world, with Doppio being the only one who fronts in public. Despite how much Diavolo desperately avoids social interaction and other people in general, Doppio is a character that he is quite literally incapable of getting rid of- so, we get to see how he treats him more than with anybody else.

 I think that I Talk to the Wind most inspires Doppio, his relationship with Diavolo, and his eventual death. However, before that, I want to get something out of the way quickly to avoid some potential confusion: I know that it’s a very common talking point in the fanbase that Doppio and Diavolo are “the same person”, so their relationship often simply gets ignored. However, I think the reality of this might be a little more complicated than that.

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 I’ll try to keep this brief since I’ve explained this before, but the thing with Doppio and Diavolo is that they have two souls, separate and individual from each other. This is both directly stated by Polnareff and demonstrated by the two of them being separated and swapped individually of each other in the Silver Chariot Requiem arc, and with Trish’s inability to sense Doppio’s soul despite being able to sense Diavolo.

 They are not just something that their brain is creating, but are literally two separate entities.

 The proceeding explanation of this, though, seems to be a case where the anime adaptation differs from the manga. In the original manga, it is stated that they are the “same” person, just “with different souls”:

The anime adaptation appears to change this line to “they share a body, but their minds are separate”. It then proceeds to refer to them as two people.

 (Keep in mind that these are both translations and not the original wording, but this seems like a pretty significant line change regardless.)

 There are also some implications made that could potentially lead to this not even being a case of DID at all. Namely, there are some potential suggestions that Diavolo might not be entirely human or of human origin, and instead may be the result of some kind of inhuman soul inhabiting a human body. (Remember how their birth made no sense, and the nature of their father and how their mother got pregnant seemed unnatural and how it happened remains a mystery? Diavolo's strange and unnatural eyes unique to any other character in the series? How when Bruno took over Diavolo’s body, the eyes in his body changed back to normal, unlike with any other swap? And the fact that his name translates to “Devil”?) It’s not a conclusion I typically like to resort to, but it’s definitely not impossible based on the implications here. I imagine this would complicate things even further since we’d know that Doppio and Diavolo would have to be separate beings in this scenario.

 Altogether, with the actual logic of how they work and the explanations that change from version to version, I don’t think you can come to a definite answer on if Doppio and Diavolo are really the “same person” or not. Pick which one you like more, I guess. (Personally, I think that them being two different people would be more logical just given how we know souls work in Jojo- while it is more accurate to real DID to say that people with DID are not literally multiple people in one body but rather parts of one whole, I fail to see how the manga’s “they’re the same person with different souls!” makes... any sense. I can’t really argue with a canonical explanation, though.) And in spite of all of this, I think you have to acknowledge that even if Doppio and Diavolo aren’t separate people, they are narratively two different characters- Doppio has his own motivations, thoughts and feelings separate from Diavolo, and the two of them have a clear relationship with each other. In the end, I think it’s still fair to acknowledge and talk about their dynamic, which is why I will do so here.

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 “I Talk to the Wind” is the second track in the album and a pretty stark contrast to the first. While The 21st Century Schizoid Man is a loud cacophony, with a lot of jazzy elements and ending in a chaotic crashing and screaming of instruments, this song is quiet and gentle with far more simple components to its tune, being led by a flute instead of a saxophone and guitar. You could describe it as dreamy and serene, and a sort of relaxation from the chaos that was the previous song. The lyrics begin by describing a conversation between two people.

“Said the straight man to the late man

"Where have you been?"

I've been here and I've been there

And I've been in between”

 I think that this could refer to their fractured identity. As they have been broken into two different souls, you see their appearance and mind change as one or the other gains control of the body. “Here” could mean one of them being in control, with “there” being the other, as well as “in between” being the shifting states where both might partially be there (for example, when Diavolo is conscious when he is talking to Doppio or the Risotto fight where he was actively trying to take full control of the body).

Then, the chorus:

“I talk to the wind

My words are all carried away

I talk to the wind

The wind does not hear, the wind cannot hear”

 I think that the phrase “I talk to the wind” could mean a couple of things here. It could mean “talking to nobody/myself”, or, alternatively, it could mean “talking to somebody that doesn’t listen” (I feel like the latter is further suggested by the lyric “The wind does not hear, the wind cannot hear”- if we’re personifying the “wind” as a consciousness, this would imply the person talking is not being listened to, or their words are not being heard).

 I can see both of these meanings applying to Diavolo and Doppio. If we are going with the assumption that Diavolo and Doppio are one individual, the “talking to myself” interpretation would fit for... obvious reasons. Otherwise, the “talking to somebody who doesn’t listen” also fits in regards to Doppio and Diavolo’s relationship, I think, which I’ll explain alongside the other verses.

“I'm on the outside looking inside

What do I see?

Much confusion, disillusion

All around me”

 For most of the part, Doppio and Diavolo’s screen time takes place away from the rest of the cast. Doppio doesn’t get to interact with Team Bucciarati at all except for the one time he disguised himself as Trish, and the only person who sticks around long enough to really interact with him other than Diavolo is Risotto, who dies very quickly. Diavolo, immediately murdering Bruno when he first encounters him and only interacting with Giorno in the very final fight, also does not get much time with them. Instead, most of our information about Doppio and Diavolo is provided by watching them on their own while the other characters are busy trying to find out their identity. In this way, the “outsider looking inside” represents the audience; we know a lot more about Doppio and Diavolo than the protagonists do, however, what we’re shown opens up several more questions than answers that we just never get the answer to, nor enough evidence to come to a solid conclusion ourselves. Like, for example:

 What’s going on with Diavolo’s eyes? Are they important? Were they always like that? Do they signify something?

 How was their birth possible? Why was their mother pregnant with them for over two years? Who was their father?

 How did their mother stay alive under the floorboards for years? Did Diavolo keep her there? Why?

 Who is Donatella, and how did she manage to have a relationship with Diavolo? What was it like? Did he ever care about her? Is Diavolo even entirely human? Is Doppio human? What are they?

 All of these questions are raised, but they never get acknowledged or resolved. And, since it’s purely the audience who sees these things about them, the protagonists don’t know about nor try to find out the answers, leaving us in the dark. It also makes Diavolo’s inherently secretive and paranoid nature make even more sense in retrospect. We have no idea how many secrets he holds that we don’t even know about (and it might be the case that not even he’s aware of what’s going on with him). So, what we see with the two of them lines up with the lyrics- confusion (and the other characters’ confusion) about his identity and past, and disillusion with the fact that our questions are never answered.

 Like I said before, Diavolo sees human connection as a weakness to avoid, instead of any sort of strength. Doppio, however, noticeably doesn’t seem to share this view.

 Like his boss, Doppio isn’t shown to have any friends or relationships with other people at all. However, as we can see, it’s not really something he enjoys or desires for himself; in contrast, he actually seems to share a lot more in common with the protagonists in regards to his feelings on connection and friendship. You get the feeling that unlike Diavolo, isolation is not his choice, but is something he was more or less pushed into by playing the role of Diavolo’s vessel. Being under the command of and sharing a body with the most paranoid and isolated character in the series, as well as being forced to stay secretive while constantly moving around the country does not leave much room for him to talk to people or make any real friends. This all results in Doppio being a pretty lonely and unhappy character, unable to maintain any connections with the world and being forgotten about by most people. It leaves him with only one person to talk to and be comforted by, which ends up being... Well, Diavolo.

 This brings me to the two’s actual relationship. Diavolo, while around other people, acts nothing but arrogant, cold and hostile, only thinking about himself and showing no care for the people he harms. With Doppio, though, he acts noticeably differently. While he is unsympathetic and aloof towards anybody else, he seems to treat Doppio with a lot of respect and even kindness, an attitude that we do not see him share with any other character. He compliments his abilities, gives him information that no other character knows about himself (as well as directly talking to him instead of sending encrypted messages like with the other Passione members), and, most uniquely, refers to him affectionately as “my Doppio” or “my dearest Doppio”.

(I wonder if Trish would be jealous.)

 Considering the intense paranoia that Diavolo exhibits towards anyone and anything else, him putting this amount of trust into someone with at least a separate conscience than his is... really intriguing. It makes sense why Doppio would put so much faith in him, and have a much more positive opinion of him than any other character seems to (remember, 99% of the characters in Vento Aureo either hate and want to kill Diavolo or just want to take over the mafia for themselves. The only thing stopping them was just how powerful Diavolo and his stand ability is, as well as him concealing his identity so thoroughly; Doppio is the only one who really shows any true loyalty.)

 Is this affection that Diavolo gives genuine, or is it really a front to appeal to Doppio’s loneliness? It’s hard to say. It could always be that he just sees Doppio as an object to manipulate instead of someone that he genuinely trusts and respects. It’s possible that the only reason Diavolo “trusted” Doppio was because he could watch him at all times and take control of the situation any time he felt like it. The “affection” that he shares might just be him trying to shift Doppio to his side, making him see Diavolo as the only one who treats him with any sort of respect. At the same time, though, there’s no solid evidence that the affection he gives isn’t genuine, at least to an extent. Maybe he sees Doppio as a sort of extension of himself, so some of his egocentric attitude seeps into his opinion of Doppio. Maybe they’ve been with each other long enough that Diavolo has built up some sincere trust towards him. Or, maybe he just genuinely likes him and sees him as a trustworthy comrade. It’s never made perfectly clear one way or another.

 No matter what Diavolo’s genuine feelings are, though, Doppio is harmed by his influence regardless. There seems to be nothing inherently “wrong” with Doppio himself that makes people not like him- in fact, he acts just like a nice, ordinary civilian when he’s not threatened or under the Boss’ orders. The only real reason why Doppio is unable to make any friends, causing his loneliness, is rooted in his alliance with Diavolo in the first place. Remember, his boss is the one ordering him to stay constantly moving around the country, keeping secrets and killing anyone who gets in his way. His boss is the one guiding his actions, using him as a vessel to get what he wants. If it weren’t for that, he’d be... a pretty normal kid, if a bit clumsy and eccentric. Ironically, the one person that Doppio saw as a friend and guardian figure was simultaneously the one keeping him from living a normal life, and it takes a toll on him whether he knows it or not.

And with this, we have verse three:

“You don't possess me, don't impress me

Just upset my mind

Can't instruct me or conduct me

Just use up my time”

 This is showing the narrator’s frustration with the “wind” that they’re talking to, relating to the harm that Doppio’s relationship with the Boss causes him. “Possess” is an interesting word here, because it could mean two different things: one, to own, or two, to take control of. While the latter meaning would be the generally obvious one to go for considering that Doppio and Diavolo share a body, I think that the former interpretation could actually make sense here as well. Diavolo refers to Doppio with the possessive adjective “my”, as if Doppio ‘belongs’ to him; and for all intents and purposes, he does control and use him throughout the part. Doppio doesn’t really get to do much on his own desires, only being used to help Diavolo achieve his goals, showing just how much control Diavolo has over him.

 This could alternatively connect to Doppio’s occasional anger at or refusal of Diavolo’s commands- both in the fight with Risotto, when he didn’t stay put and still fought back even after Diavolo told him not to, or in this panel, when a frustrated Doppio screams at Diavolo for calling him at a bad time:

 The second line, “Just upset my mind”, is also interesting in this context. Diavolo does “upset” Doppio’s mind, in a couple of ways- not just physically, by being shown to give him headaches and disorientation (and also by making him hallucinate, with the fake phones), but also emotionally, by being the one causing his loneliness and sadness in the first place. While Doppio isn’t actively aware of the harm that Diavolo causes him, unlike the narrator in the song, the lyrics still describe a relationship that could apply to the two of them.

 While this whole dynamic is built up throughout the two’s screen time, it’s finally brought to our attention during the semi-final fight, after Doppio had been shot in Bruno’s dying corpse.

 Bleeding to death, he spends his last moments deliriously begging Diavolo to call him again. He doesn’t realize that his boss isn’t there to hear him, nor does he have any means to “call” him anymore. They're in two separate bodies now, but Doppio doesn’t know that. Diavolo never fully informed him of who he really was, even such major information as the fact that they shared a body. And due to that, in the very end, he’s talking to nobody- Diavolo does not and cannot hear him anymore. He’s just talking to the wind.

 This also speaks to Diavolo’s character as well as Doppio’s. While I would argue there was really no choice that Diavolo had in this situation (they would’ve both died if he didn’t leave the body and attempt to kill Bucciarati’s group himself, and there was no way he could’ve predicted nor prevented Doppio getting shot; not to mention, Diavolo impales Narancia right after it happens, alerting the group to his presence despite him trying to remain hidden, suggesting that it might’ve been a revenge kill or impulsive response), it says something about him that the only other character he’s shown to “care” about, not to mention been with for every other scene, dies alone without him there. Diavolo isn’t there to comfort or talk to him, nor even see his death at all. We get no shown reaction from him or even any mention of Doppio after this scene, either. This showcases Diavolo’s refusal to willingly reveal any vulnerability towards other people- even if it comes at the detriment of the person who’s been with him for years, if not essentially his whole life.

 As stupid as some of Doppio’s scenes get, I actually find the basis of his character to be sort of depressing at his core. He spent most (if not all) of his life being manipulated by someone he was unable to get rid of, only to die alone and forgotten, never even getting a passing mention by anyone afterwards. And, with that, I think “I Talk to the Wind” fits really well. Not only does Doppio’s character match up with the melancholy lyrics and tone, but it also corresponds with his and Diavolo’s dynamic very closely. Because of that, I think this is the song that Araki took some inspiration from when making Doppio, and based a lot of his character on.

Epitaph

 Epitaph is the third track on the album (and my personal favorite out of the five.) Like the 21st Century Schizoid Man, this song’s lyrics are also (albeit more subtly) about the Cold War. It describes a dystopian reality where “right” and “wrong” are twisted beyond meaning, and the constant threat of nuclear destruction has become the norm. The most notable thing about the song Epitaph and its connection to Vento Aureo is the fact that instead of just influencing a character’s behavior and actions, it is directly referenced in the story. You’ve probably already noticed this yourself, but “Epitaph” is the name of Diavolo’s substand, or the tiny second face on King Crimson’s head.

 Epitaph’s ability matches with the meaning of the song pretty directly, as well as tying into Diavolo as a character, so I think it would be a good idea to explain the stand(s) alongside the song here.

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 Here, I want to actually talk about King Crimson (the stand) and how it works with Epitaph, as well as how it connects to Diavolo and his beliefs. King Crimson has the ability to erase time- or, a better word for it would be that it skips through time. It essentially erases the “cause” of something, and keeps the “effect” of said thing happening. A good example is with Narancia when he was about to eat a box of chocolate. When King Crimson activated its ability, time seems to ‘skip’ to the point where he’s already eaten the chocolate. It suddenly appeared in his mouth, half-chewed, and he had no memory of the actual act of eating it. He went straight from being just about to eat the chocolate to having it already in his mouth with the connecting action completely deleted.

 Time is not perceived or remembered by anybody while it is being “skipped” except for Diavolo, who enters a state where he is unable to interact with anything under the influence of his timeskip, with objects going right through his body, but can also move freely and watch his opponent’s “erased” actions being carried out.

 Epitaph, with its ability to predict the future up to ten seconds later, works in conjunction with the rest of King Crimson’s ability to erase time. Before Diavolo timeskips, he uses Epitaph to view what happens in the future. If he likes what he sees, he can use King Crimson to skip to the desired event. If he doesn’t, he can use King Crimson to get rid of the event entirely, essentially ‘erasing’ his own fate.

 This is what makes King Crimson such a powerful ability- Diavolo can just predict all of his opponent’s actions, dodge them, then sneak up on them while they’re in a state of confusion and kill them in one hit. If he sees an event unfavorable to him, he can just erase it. This is what made him seem so terrifying and unbeatable to the protagonists. How would they be able to beat a fate-changing stand that can make the owner practically bend reality to his will?

 However, there are a few weaknesses to King Crimson. While he does erase events for everybody, Diavolo is only able to actually change fate for himself. Everyone else still has to abide by the future that ‘fate’ provided for them, carrying out their actions regardless. This is how, for example, Narancia was still impaled on the fence even when Diavolo would’ve logically been unable to interact with him; he was fated to die, and so he did. King Crimson is also a very short-ranged stand, only able to move about two meters away from Diavolo at maximum, and can only predict and erase time for up to ten seconds. This means that while Diavolo is almost impossible to defeat alone, he cannot face large groups at once, instead resorting to picking off his enemies one-by-one while they are by themselves.

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 King Crimson’s ability ties into Diavolo’s philosophy on morality and how he justifies his actions to himself. In his eyes, as long as he gets what he wants, the actions done to achieve it don’t matter to him. (It’s essentially an extreme version of “the end justifies the means”.) The actions taken are meaningless, as long as he gets the results; and this shows itself in King Crimson’s ability to remove the action and only leave the results.

 This is how he justifies to himself the destruction he’s caused on his family, as well as countless children and other civilians. As long as he remains in power, none of the atrocities he commits, and nothing that happens to anybody else matters. (He also specifically expresses disgust at individuals who torture and kill for pleasure and no other reason, like with Cioccolata and Secco.)

 I also think that Diavolo’s weakness of being unable to face large groups is another part of the major theme of relationships in part five and how teaming up with other people makes you stronger. While Giorno and the rest of the group were practically powerless against Diavolo in the beginning, three of them being killed by Diavolo while they were separated, they eventually group together for the very final fight and manage to defeat him collectively.

 Now, what about Epitaph? I’ve heard people claim that Epitaph belongs to Doppio and not Diavolo, but I do not think this is the case. Remember, when Doppio dies, Epitaph does not disappear. If Epitaph was a projection of Doppio’s soul and not Diavolo’s, shouldn’t it have gone alongside him? Diavolo also frequently refers to Epitaph as “his” stand, even when Doppio is using it, and it is stated that Epitaph is just a part of King Crimson that Diavolo is allowing him to use; if Epitaph really belonged to Doppio, I don’t see why Diavolo wouldn’t just tell him that he has his own stand ability. (And even then, would King Crimson’s arms specifically belong to Doppio, too?) There’s just nothing that I see within canon that would suggest this fanon opinion, nor would it even really make sense. Though, I do think the fact that there are two faces on King Crimson’s body is referencing Diavolo’s DID, or the fact that his body contains two souls; just like how King Crimson and Epitaph are technically two stands/abilities attached to each other.

I also think that Epitaph’s general look and aesthetic might be inspired by the cover art for In the Court of the Crimson King.

 It has a similar color, shape and overall weird appearance, just smaller and less detailed.

 Then, we have the actual song itself. I believe that this is about Diavolo’s goals and how he connects to Vento Aureo’s theme of fate, as well as King Crimson’s ability. Let’s get into the actual song lyrics and dissect what they mean.

“The wall on which the prophets wrote

Is cracking at the seams”

 This is, I believe, referring to King Crimson. The “wall” is reality, and the “prophets” are fate; King Crimson, however, changes fate by erasing time itself, causing the “wall” of reality to crack at the seams. This is helped by the fact that when King Crimson is activated, it is usually personified by showing the world literally breaking apart around Diavolo:

“Upon the instruments of death

The sunlight brightly gleams”

 I think that these lines could have a couple of meanings in Vento Aureo’s context. The first time Epitaph is brought to our attention with Doppio, the sunlight is literally brightly gleaming onto it.

 If we viewed Epitaph and King Crimson as the “instruments of death”, this would fit in with the lyrics.

 I also believe that the “instruments of death” could be about the Requiem arrow. The arrow, something used to “upgrade” stands to extremely powerful forms, is something that both Diavolo and the protagonists desperately sought.

 The “sunlight” could either represent how it is desired by everyone, or the fact that when it pierces a stand, light projects out of it, showing its power.

“When every man is torn apart

With nightmares and with dreams”

 Mankind is simultaneously haunted by nightmares, the horror of the world, and plagued with endless dreams, aspirations and goals. To Diavolo, maintaining his power and absolute secrecy is his “dream” and ambition. However, Diavolo’s “dream” ends up as a nightmare for everybody else; the attempted murder of his own daughter, allowing drugs to be sold to children, and the resulting torture and murder of innocent people are just a few symptoms of Diavolo trying to get what he wants. The protagonist’s conflicting aspirations to stop the source of corruption in Italy is their dream, too, and it drives them to find out the Boss’ identity and hunt him down (not to mention that Giorno’s catchphrase is literally “I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream”).

“Will no one lay the laurel wreath

When silence drowns the screams?”

 A laurel wreath is headwear, seen as a symbol of triumph, and is worn around the head as an emblem of victory. The question “Will no one lay the laurel wreath when silence drowns the screams?” is rhetorical; no one will be crowned with any symbol of “triumph” if everyone is dead. As for Diavolo, no one will be there to congratulate or reward him for his accomplishments because nobody knows him or anything about him in the first place. He wants to rule in secret, with his identity hidden from everyone; essentially, he wants to rule quietly and in isolation. In order to maintain this, he murders anyone and everyone who attempts to seek him out, represented by the “screams”- but in the end, everything becomes silent, as everyone who knows of his existence is dead.

“Confusion will be my epitaph

As I crawl a cracked and broken path”

 An “epitaph” is a phrase typically written on a tombstone in memory of a person who has died. It can also represent anything by which a person is remembered; essentially, it’s a commemoration of a person’s life and accomplishments. When the narrator is saying that confusion will be their “epitaph”, this means that at the end of their life, “confusion” is what they will be remembered by.

 For Diavolo, once again, confusion is a major aspect of his character. Confusion about who he is, his whereabouts, his motivations, his past, even how he came to exist in the first place- pretty much everything about him is built to be misdirecting and hard to understand, if not entirely unknowable. The protagonists spend the majority of the part trying to find out who the Boss is, being just as confused as the audience is. Just like the lyrics, Diavolo’s epitaph, how he will be remembered, will also be confusion. While the protagonists did manage to find him, much about him and his identity were still left completely unexplained, and we are left to believe that we will never get a real answer to any of it.

“Between the iron gates of fate

The seeds of time were sown

And watered by the deeds of those

Who know and who are known”

 This is about the “fate” system. In Jojo, all actions are predetermined and impossible to change (unless you’re Diavolo, that is). The “seeds of time” are all of the events that were destined to inevitably happen, locked behind the certainty of fate and made into reality by people’s actions.

“Knowledge is a deadly friend

If no one sets the rules

The fate of all mankind I see

Is in the hands of fools”

 Thanks to King Crimson being so heavily connected to fate, Diavolo has a strong understanding of how it works. This knowledge is dangerous to the protagonists, as he is able to not only predict fate with Epitaph, but he is also able to warp and even erase fate entirely due to his ability to erase time. He is aware of and actively chooses to “break” fate’s rules. Ironically, despite how much Diavolo boasts that fate has “chosen” him to be in power, we constantly see him defy and erase it to reach his goals- instead of getting his way there legitimately, he forces his way to the top by cheating his way out of any obstacle he comes across, even ones set in stone by the universe itself. This ends up becoming his downfall at the end when Giorno uses his Gold Experience Requiem to also cheat fate, but this time, against Diavolo.

“If we make it we can all sit back and laugh

But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying

Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying

Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying

Crying...

Crying...”

 This is about Diavolo’s fear of his identity being discovered by the protagonists. If he manages to defeat them all, he can remain in power and laugh at their failed attempt to usurp him, just like La Squadra and every other attempt to overtake him before. It would just be another one of his victories as the self-declared “King”. If he’s defeated, on the other hand... well, he’s screwed.

 Despite just how powerful his stand is, he’s still so intensely paranoid of betrayal that he goes to extra lengths to make sure he is completely unreachable and never under threat. This fear ultimately ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy when his attempt to defeat Giorno backfires by causing the creation of Gold Experience Requiem, the thing that finally defeats him.

 Gold Experience Requiem’s ability is, in a way, the polar opposite of King Crimson’s ability. While King Crimson takes away the “action” of something, and keeps the “result”, GER’s ability essentially keeps the “action” of something, but takes away the “result”.

 You can try to use your stand, but the result of your ability will not happen, as we can see with King Crimson’s deleted time being reversed when GER’s ability activates.

 It also has the effect of setting a person’s “death” to zero, causing them to go through the experience of dying, but without the result of them becoming dead; so, they die an infinite number of times, never reaching an actual ending to their pain.

 This is the moral that Diavolo’s character is teaching. When you only desire the result and don’t care about your methods of achieving said result, you lose sight of what was even important in the first place. This is something that even happens to be foreshadowed far earlier, during Abbacchio’s death scene.

 The lyric “I fear tomorrow I’ll be crying” refers to Diavolo’s defeat and eternal punishment (and most likely the thing that he will be inevitably doing in the death loop). Diavolo receiving the punishment of infinite death is a sort of counter and form of irony to not only his stand ability itself, but also to the way he sees morality. He only seeks the ‘results’ to the point where he’s completely blind-sighted to the effects of his actions, so... what’s more fitting of a punishment than for him to never reach a result?

I’d also like to draw a visual parallel between the cover art for In the Court of the Crimson King and Diavolo after he was affected by GER:

 If this were intentional, it would be pretty cool (and further drive home that Diavolo himself is the “Schizoid Man” from the opening song).

 Overall, Epitaph ties into a lot of major themes in Vento Aureo. Not only do its lyrics match with Epitaph as a stand, but also with how fate in Jojo is utilized by Diavolo. It also connects to a lot of his motivations, morals (or the lack of them), beliefs, and a lot of the plot points relating to his goals and his fate at the very end.

Moonchild

 “Moonchild” is the fourth song on the album. This track is mostly instrumental and improvisational, with the lyrics being generally abstract and taking only two minutes to get through, so I do not think there’s much to talk about in regards to the individual lyrics here. I still see parallels between this song and Diavolo, though.

 While vague, the lyrics are essentially a personification of the moon, describing the appearance and activities of the night and how the moonlight glows on the landscape. It also describes the moon as “waiting for the sun”, or the night waiting for the sun to rise so daytime can start.

 “Call her moonchild

Dancing in the shallows of a river

Lonely moonchild

Dreaming in the shadows of a willow

Talking to the trees of the cobweb strange

Sleeping on the steps of a fountain

Waving silver wands to the night-bird's song

Waiting for the sun on the mountain

She's a moonchild

Gathering the flowers in a garden

Lovely moonchild

Drifting in the echoes of the hours

Sailing on the wind in a milk white gown

Dropping circle stones on a sun dial

Playing hide and seek with the ghosts of dawn

Waiting for a smile from a sun child”

 What this brought to mind for me is the way that light is used as symbolism in Vento Aureo. Giorno, whose name translates to the word ‘day’ in Italian, is often symbolized by brightness and sunlight, being accompanied by warm, golden colors.

This symbolizes the goodness in his character, as well as fitting with the part’s title meaning “Golden Wind”- Giorno is the daylight and the golden wind, with his ambition to seek out the truth being what eviscerates the darkness and holds everyone together.

 By contrast, with the exception of the final fight, Diavolo’s scenes take place in dimly lit rooms, night, or total darkness. In Diavolo’s very first appearance, we see him hiding in a dark room, covered in a cloak to conceal himself. In his encounter with Bruno, it is equally dark, so Bruno wasn’t able to make out his face. King Crimson’s “erased time” zone is portrayed as a black, starry cosmos. When Diavolo is first revealed in full, it is during the middle of the night, so he remains shrouded in darkness to everyone except for his target, Polnareff.

 The final fight to race for the stand arrow, and Diavolo’s defeat, takes place in very bright daylight, with GER forcibly pulling Diavolo out of his erased time “zone” and showering the scenery in gold sunshine.

 In this way, if Giorno is the “sun” or the “light”, Diavolo is the moon. Italy is in a period of darkness due to Diavolo, blocking out the light, and it’s waiting on a chance to return said light- or a “sun child”, as the lyrics say.

 I do not see much else to say here beyond this (like I said, this song is mostly improv). The next song gets much more interesting from a Vento Aureo perspective, in my opinion, and it ties the entire narrative together.

The Court of the Crimson King

 The Court of the Crimson King is the final and titular song on the record, the main subject being the “Crimson King” that the album and band itself is named after. You’ll notice here that the lyrics are in the setting of a medieval kingdom- a “tournament”, “piper” and a “choir”, as well as (obviously) the crimson king’s “court” are all imagery that is brought to mind. While Passione is a mafia, which is obviously not a monarchy, I do think there are a lot of parallels you can draw between this song and how Passione is written.

“The rusted chains of prison moons

Are shattered by the sun

I walk a road, horizons change

The tournament's begun”

 The first four lines of this song are actually changed around in radio sessions, making it so there are technically two versions of this song. I will bring these up as well, because they seem to have more of a clear connection to part five.

 “The earth is captive to the moon

Some seek the rising sun

I walk the road on wings of change

The game has just begun”

 “The earth is captive to the moon” seems to reference the last song, Moonchild. Bringing this back to the moon/sun metaphor with Diavolo and Giorno, the earth being “captive” to the moon would fit as Diavolo’s control over Italy, with the “rising sun” and “wings of change” being Giorno and his drive to change things for the better. Vento Aureo’s plot is the “game” that has begun, with the protagonist’s race to discover the Boss’ identity.

“The purple piper plays his tune

The choir softly sing

Three lullabies in an ancient tongue

For the court of the crimson king, aah

Aah, aah”

 This song uses a lot of color in its lyrics, the first being the “purple piper” mentioned in this verse. This is a color that Diavolo and Doppio are very often portrayed as in Araki’s artwork, as well as a color scheme they often flip to in the anime adaptation.

 In this case, I think the “piper” could represent Doppio, being Diavolo’s most loyal subordinate and ally.

 The term “crimson king” itself is the main thing that I want to talk about here. It’s an interesting phrase because it has two different meanings, both of which I think are significant to Diavolo. The first meaning is used to refer to a king or ruler whose reign was marked by ruthlessness and bloodshed alongside creating societal upheaval and change. This description would fit Diavolo very accurately- he’s absolutely ruthless in everything he does, to the point where he’s probably caused the deaths of hundreds or thousands of people (both directly, through torturing/murdering people to make sure his identity is never discovered, and indirectly, through the violence caused by the mafia he founded and damages from drug trafficking). The creation of societal upheaval is also accurate, with his ‘reign’ creating backlash from his followers and ending with him being violently overthrown by Giorno.

 This comparison becomes even more overt when you take into consideration much of Diavolo’s dialogue, referring to himself as a monarch with words like “King” and “Emperor” instead of as a Boss:

 “Crimson king” is also often seen as an alias for the Devil himself (more specifically Beelzebub, but it is seen as demonic in general, so I’ll generalize it to that). This is often what this lyric, and the band’s name, is interpreted as meaning, with the crimson king’s “court” being seen as Hell. Robert Fripp, the most prominent member and co-founder of King Crimson, was even quoted as saying this:

“The name King Crimson is a synonym for Beelzebub, which is an anglicized form of the Arabic phrase “B'il Sabab”. This means literally “the man with an aim”, and is the recognizable quality of King Crimson.”

 Diavolo, as you probably already know, undeniably has lots of demonic implications and satanic imagery incorporated into his character. Might I mention again that his name is literally the Italian word for “Devil”? From the mysterious circumstances of his birth to the betrayal of his religious upbringing and his first known murder being a priest, to being constantly shrouded in darkness and a ruthless, anonymous leader with several different aliases, it’s very blatant what Araki was trying to get at here. His hair even spikes at the top to appear like horns on his head in his full reveal- it’s a small detail, but it’s there.

 While we are not certain that he is truly inhuman (although potential implications for that do exist), this demonic subtext is clearly present, especially when contrasted with Giorno and his father, DIO. Considering the fact that DIO’s name means “God” in Italian and Giorno is his son, that would then make him the son of “God”, or Jesus. It’s fitting, then, that the person he ends up fighting and defeating is the symbolic equivalent of the Devil.

 He also doubles as a parallel to DIO himself- something especially noticeable during the correlating ‘stair’ scenes in parts three and five, with Diavolo and DIO both revealing themselves on opposite ends of the staircase:

 The symbolism is fairly obvious here. Polnareff is looking up at the “God”, but looking down at the “Devil”. (I could also draw lots of connections to DIO and Diavolo in terms of their actual personalities and the way the story is structured around them, but if I went into all of the little details I would be here all day.)

 Even more interestingly, there is a nod to an implied alternate-universe version of Diavolo in Steel Ball Run. In this version, he is a literal monarch, ruling over the fictional Kingdom of Naples, fitting even more overtly with this song’s setting. There is also a specific mention of Lucifer and the country turning its back on its Christian origin, similar to how Diavolo betrayed what we can only assume to be the religion he was raised by in his past.

This manages to hit both definitions of “crimson king” in and of itself- a ruthless leader and the Devil.

 The stand King Crimson is a perfect fit for Diavolo in name alone, with him matching every meaning of the term. In reference to this song, then, his “court” would have to be Passione, with his “kingdom” being Italy.

“The keeper of the city keys

Put shutters on the dreams

I wait outside the pilgrim's door

With insufficient schemes

The black queen chants the funeral march

The cracked brass bells will ring

To summon back the fire witch

To the court of the crimson king, aah

Aah, aah”

 “The keeper of the city keys” is the one in power, crushing the desires of the people they control (putting “shutters” on their dreams). The “black queen” is a metaphor for death, chanting the “funeral march” as people die. This is much like what Diavolo set out to do to everyone who attempts to betray him (killing potentially dozens of people in the process), as well as him being the obstacle to Giorno’s dreams and goal of having a country uncorrupted by the drug trade. I could also see “fire witch” calling back to Diavolo’s past, with him burning down his hometown.

“The gardener plants an evergreen

Whilst trampling on a flower

I chase the wind of a prism ship

To taste the sweet and sour

The pattern juggler lifts his hand

The orchestra begin

As slowly turns the grinding wheel”

 The “gardener”, in this metaphor, is a person who chases great long-term future plans and ideas (‘planting an evergreen’) to such an extent that they ignore or trample over the present and world around them (killing the ‘flower’). This would be about Diavolo’s major flaw of only desiring future results and not caring about present actions, blindsighting him to the things that he’s doing and what’s really important in the present, much like in Epitaph.

 “On soft gray mornings widows cry

The wise men share a joke”

 Here in the final verse, the lyrics begin to directly show something sinister going on behind the scenes of the public. While widows cry for the deaths of their spouses, presumably caused by the actions of the Crimson King, the “wise men'' (which is most likely a sarcastic or ironic description) are unaffected to the point where they are in a joking mood. This could be about all of the casualties caused by Passione, with multiple people being targeted and assassinated, leaving their families in shambles. However, the members of Passione themselves are indifferent to this, much like the “wise men” in the lyrics.

“I run to grasp divining signs

To satisfy the hoax

The yellow jester does not play

But gently pulls the strings

And smiles as the puppets dance

In the court of the crimson king, aah

Aah, aah

Aah, aah”

 Due to the Crimson King’s influence, the ones in power are manipulating and coercing the public (or “puppets”) into doing their bidding. Using lies and deception (the “divining signs” that are assumedly a hoax), they are tricked and exploited by the “crimson king” and his court.

 Diavolo is an equally deceptive and manipulative character, either withholding information or misdirecting the members of Passione into trusting him. He is rarely open about his intentions with the other characters. First, he tricks Bucciarati’s group into thinking that he was going to protect his daughter, only to have it revealed that he was only planning on murdering her. Next, we see he has an alter, Doppio, that he has been keeping in the dark for years about the true nature of their relationship. Then, even during the final fight, he refuses to fully reveal himself until he is forced, hiding in Mista’s body to incite confusion and mistrust among their group. He hides his identity and erases all traces of himself from public knowledge, with much of the information we do know being confusing and misdirecting in and of itself.

 This connects to not only the final verse of the Court of the Crimson King, but also with the demonic symbolism already so heavily present in his character. Just like the ‘yellow jester’ and the Devil himself, Diavolo is manipulative to the people around him, seeing them less as other people and more as things to be avoided, or “puppets” that he can use to do his bidding. He is just as distrusting of others as they are to him, not even allowing the slightest detail about himself to be known by the public.

---

 And in the end, all of this self-isolation and paranoia with Diavolo scrubbing his identity from history so thoroughly ends up becoming his biggest downfall. All of his power and significance came from his status as the leader of Passione, and when that status is taken away from him... he is left with nothing. There is nobody to remember him, no one to care about his defeat, and no one he can go to for help. Even as he panics and screams his identity out loud, it is completely insignificant.

 His character concludes as simply an unknown, unimportant man, doomed for what we assume to be eternal torture with no one alive to care in the slightest. This shows the most fatal flaw in Diavolo’s tactic of self-isolation, and caps off Vento Aureo’s major theme of friendship- it is vital to form bonds with other people in order to be remembered and have your memory be cherished. Because Diavolo drove everyone away to the point where he had no one to love or care about, he was forgotten.

This entire album is about several things, with each song being something different, but I believe that In the Court of the Crimson King’s most major theme and idea surrounds the concept of loneliness. Most if not all of its songs focus on this idea in some way- the 21st Century Schizoid Man is about Schizoid Personality Disorder and the harm that the Cold War will do on relationships and future generations, I Talk to the Wind is about talking to nobody with no one around to hear you, Epitaph describes a post-apocalyptic future with humanity in despair, Moonchild describes the loneliness of the night, and the Court of the Crimson King describes the one in power, pulling the strings behind it all. In that way, then, it’s fitting that Diavolo, who is meant to be the antithesis of Vento Aureo’s theme of love and friendship, would be based on an album ultimately about despair and isolation.

---

 This finally closes off the record. As you can see, Diavolo’s character is very strongly intertwined with this album in more ways than one, and I think it’s clear that this is something that influenced him and Vento Aureo very much. I have no doubt that Araki took some inspiration from this album when making his character, alongside the part itself. Even if I potentially missed some stuff, I hope this was fairly interesting to go through (at least, I hope I captured some of the fascination I have with Diavolo and why I like him so much. I like talking about him a whole lot.)

 Also go listen to King Crimson they’re really good.

[codenamesazanka]

I feel like I can’t stress enough how important Spinner is to the ‘My Villain Academia’ arc, and how badly I need BONES to give him the attention and care in portraying him that he deserves. BONES have been pretty faithful to the manga, they’ve followed the story and brought each scene on the page to the screen... Except for some reason not when it comes to the Villains. Maybe it’s because arguably the Villains wasn’t the focal point of the show and they weren’t what most viewers watched the show to see; fine, but that was the case in the beginning and no longer.

Shigaraki Tomura, his exploits, his character, his story *is* the manga: the Heroes and protag react mainly to him and his actions, his past and motivations is one of the main factors that caused the current central conflict, and resolving his character arc is what will probably bring the whole series - to its end or near end. Yeah, imo I argue that everything about him moves the plot along.

Unfortunately(?), I think Horikoshi-sensei realized/decided/planned this a bit too late in his pacing. He said himself during the Stain arc or so that at first, he wasn’t planning on doing villain profiles - he wanted the villains to be scary.

But for the time being, I have no intention of writing about [the villains]. I do the introductions because l personally like those sorts of behind-the-scenes things, and also because I want my readers to feel a connection to the characters. But with villains, I decided I can't have them too likable. They're supposed to be terrifying.

Often it’s what we don’t know/understand/predict/expect (and therefore can’t get a grasp on) that makes things scary/uncomfortable/dislikable. The Villains were strange, seemingly erratic and incomprehensible in their behavior and motivations, malicious without rhyme or reason. Even now, I think a lot of people still think they’re just ‘completely evil crazy psychopaths’.

Anyways, the quote from him is from Volume 7. A whole bunch of volumes later in Vol. 23, he decided nvm: “The story has evolved beyond that point, so I'm ready to start doing villain profiles.” As he said himself, the profiles are to help the readers connect with the characters, make them relatable and likable. That’s what My Villain Academia is all about in the meta sense - to demystify Shigaraki Tomura and his ragtag chaos friends, to give them depth, and to induce interest in their stories, if not sympathy. Hype them up for the rather major roles they play in this ‘final arc’ of the series.

Enter Spinner, the lizard ninja guy.

Besides his unusual looks, Spinner is really, truly nothing special. He’s got a weak quirk, he holds no title of being the strongest or smartest or whatever member of the League, he’s not related by blood or thematically to any major players in the main conflicts, and his ‘tragic’ backstory is completely mundane compared to his allies - he was bullied as a child, and so is fueled by resentment. In the events leading up to the start of the arc, Spinner is the most moral and understandable of the Villains - has a ‘good’ reason for his crimes (eradicate corrupted Heroes), has standards on who he’s willing to fight (questions attacking the police and anyone with a ‘true heroic spirit’), and wants a concrete game plan instead of aimless discord the rest of the League seems alright with.

Once the arc starts, we immediately learn the basics of his character - he’s got a heteromorph quirk that makes his appearance a humanoid gecko and it’s something he was born with that he can’t control, and yet he faces discrimination from literal KKK-type cultists who refuse to see him as human. This was more or less his life in his small, rural hometown, harsh enough that his heart had become ‘completely empty’. It’s simple, it’s relatable and an realistic analogy anyone who has faced prejudice and harassment and been hurt by it can understand.

All this is so Spinner ends up being the most normal and typical sympathetic of the League of Villains, which sets him up to be a sort of ‘gateway Villain’. It’s why he’s narrator. He doesn’t understand at all the crazy All For One shenanigans, he’s thinks Shigaraki is an incompetent weirdo, and he asks what we were all thinking: “Shigaraki Tomura, what the fuck are you doing.” Quite obviously, Spinner’s meant the audience surrogate and so he is. That being a core of the way the story of My Villain Academia is told means it needs be followed by the anime adaption.

This core sets up the rest of the arc - sets up how we will come to view Shigaraki Tomura and his backstory, alongside the rest of the League Villains, their relationships and dynamics with each other, and who they are at heart. Shigaraki’s telling of his distorted origins in Chapter 222 is horrifying as it is already; but it’s Spinner’s worried-facial-expressions reactions littered throughout the chapter that adds to it by telling us one major thing: Spinner’s an empathetic guy, because he immediately feels a kindred spirit with Shigaraki when the latter talks about the hollowness he feels. So begins the audience surrogate’s change of opinion and us readers going along with it, and also: that Shigaraki Tomura now has Spinner’s concern and attention - and is deserving of it.

Pardon the sudden heavily edited quote, but CS Lewis says,

Friendship arises...when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common...which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique [burden]. The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ...And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.

That’s almost word for word Spinner in that moment, suddenly realizing he’s no longer as alone as he thought. He’s no longer as alone, and this means perhaps neither should Shigaraki. Because established in that very chapter, too, is the hate in Shigaraki’s heart fueled by his grief and despair, the loss of his family, past, and faith in others, his misery of thinking he’ll never feel good again. Yet - there’s Spinner, willing to extend some empathy and care, the very antidote to all that Shigaraki had revealed. Because the desire for companionship (or at least the lessening of the pain of loneliness) is universal, even among villains - maybe especially among these villains - we probably love to see it. Want to see it.

On that basis - friendship borne out of empathy - Spinner puts his faith his leader, puts his trust and support, and the rest of the arc is us following the tension of whether he was right to do so. Whether Shigaraki would live up to what Spinner expects of him, whether Spinner will side with Shigaraki despite their earlier conflict. Whether they could become friends, or something like that. And once they do, the consequences of this as things spiral more and more out of control, beyond this arc - that Spinner would know Shigaraki well enough to do something crucial at the turn of a battle later, that Spinner would stick by Shigaraki’s side when he’s in danger, that Spinner is loyal enough to Shigaraki to help him as a friend should.

Through Spinner, we come to see Shigaraki, originally incomprehensible and terrifying, as someone beyond a Villain or a leader, but rather someone valued as a person, a friend, a fellow silly gamer nerd. He’s still scary, of course - just less so, with a seed of doubt of his doom that Spinner - and only Spinner, by virtue of his specific narrative and emotional role in this arc - planted in their characters and the story.

It’s because of Spinner that MVA works, by itself, and as a stepping stone towards the rest of the series. So he really needs to be everything he is, was, and more in the anime adaption please BONES oh my god please

[fairymascot]

when i started watching harley quinn TV, about the last thing i expected of it was to be feminist in any way. i mean, it's an adult comedy cartoon. it's based on 2016 suicide squad's take on harley. the poor woman doesn't even wear any pants. but man, the more i think about it, and the more i consume other dc content featuring those characters, the more appreciative i am of its takes on its female cast.

let's talk about ivy. i watched the btas episode 'house and garden' today, and was honestly appalled by how blatantly male it all felt. in this episode, ivy 'rehabitilates' herself by getting released from arkham, marrying her therapist (which nobody even pointed out is illegal?!), taking care of his two kids from a previous marriage, and basically living the perfect suburban housewife dream. when batman suspects she's up to some shit, she tells him she's never been happier, and no longer has any need for crime. of course it turns out to be an elaborate ruse, but the ending reveals that she wasn't completely insincere -- she does, in fact, dream of having a husband and children, something she cannot accomplish due to the infertility caused by her powers.

unfortunately, this episode must have had a serious impact on ivy's characterization, as the book 'cycle of life and death' from 2016 is heavily founded on it. in my humble opinion, it's terrible. i mean, i get it, it was the nineties and written by men, and tv writers only really started picking up on how to write women as complex multilayered beings in recent years, but damn.

ivy's original character is already rooted in a very male, distorted perception of women. she's a textbook femme fatale-- she's dainty, gorgeous, scantily clad, and her powers are seducing men into doing her bidding. and to pile further on top of her misogynistic foundation, the only way they could think to humanize her is by forcing more of their stereotypical male perception onto her-- how do we show she's a sympathetic character? by making her deep down a 'normal woman', who has normal woman dreams of being a housewife with children. the rather blatant subtext that she turned to a life of villainy because her infertility denied her that dream -- a failed woman that has turned into a despicable monster -- only makes this depiction all the uglier. i'm actually amazed this take on her character managed to survive all the way to 2016.

but then you have hqtv ivy, who takes all that and unceremoniously dumps it in the trash. it rethinks the basics of ivy's personality and attitude from the ground up. she's a misanthrope -- the only company she seeks outside of her plants is harley -- why would she make a villain career out of seducing men? why does she have to be sensual and coy? no. instead, she's awkward, stoic, and anti social. she dresses a whole hell of a lot more practical, she's blunt to a fault, and wastes none of her time trying to appeal to men.

the sexual element of her powers has been removed, or at the very least severely limited-- no more poison kisses or seducing men to do her bidding. the only scene that incorporates that element at all is when she has to peck a bunch of dweeby 12 year old boys on the mouth to reverse the effect of her toxin that's been slipped into their bar mitzvah punch bowl by mistake. it's ridiculous, it's absolutely mortifying for her, and it's funny. nothing about it is remotely sexy.

as for her dreams of becoming a housewife... well, ivy very clearly doesn't know what she wants for her future. or rather, she's so repressed that she doesn't allow herself to want. she always saw herself ecoterroristing it up solo-- but then harley happened, and she found herself going soft, and opening up to other people through harley's influence as well. she allows herself to acknowledge that she's lonely, and that she does crave human connection. specifically, she craves harley -- but that's a part of her she had to seal away, out of fear of ruining their friendship. this leads her to pursue a relationship with kite man (or rather: be pursued by him), even though at every step of the way she pretty obviously has to force herself farther into it.

it's not that she doesn't like kite man. the opposite. she can tell he's a good guy, he treats her so well, he cares for her so deeply. for someone like ivy, coming from a life of abuse and isolation, that's rarer than rare. and that's why she forces herself to overlook all their differences, all the aspects of their relationship that clearly aren't working, and clings on to it regardless. finally, someone genuinely wants her, cares about her. she'd have to be stupid to let that go, right?

but she doesn't want it. that's spelled out the most blatantly on their wedding day-- while he's reciting his dream future of them living in a nice house with a white picket fence, a dog and three kids, ivy is horrified. unlike btas' ivy, who would've surely been delighted, it's completely removed from anything this version of ivy ever wanted for herself. and in that moment, she realizes she fucked up. she locked herself into a life she never wanted because she thought it was the best she could hope to get.

and then their wedding goes up in literal flames, kite man calls it quits, and ivy finally lets herself pursue what she really, truly wants: harley.

it's such a great, fresh take on ivy's character. she's written as a woman, but not some male writer's narrow view of one, but an actual honest, human woman. her struggles and insecurities are incredibly relatable to me as a female viewer, because she's allowed to breathe and grow and have depth outside of the list of stereotypes female characters are so often shoehorned into. she's aloof, she's cynical, she's a loner; she's carrying years of trauma that's made her insecure and closed off, and she's just starting to grow past that; she's desperate for love but forces herself to settle for tepid affection because she's too scared to pursue anything more; she's a genius biochemist and a badass with the power to control all of plant life, but she's fucking chickenshit and wishy-washy and doesn't know how to be honest with her feelings, leading her to hurt those she cares about. and the fact that they took btas' ivy's dream of getting married and having a family, and used it as a stepping stone-- subverted it as part of ivy's self-realization and growth-- that's just the icing on the cake.

hqtv ivy is hands down the best take of this character i've seen to date. god bless, i cannot wait for season 3.

[ranboo5]

Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but 

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them 

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths 

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory 

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class 

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not 

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment 

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the “experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever 

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die 

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it  continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery) 

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind” 

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern

[tearsofsyrup]

half-silvered

— With all the time that has passed since your endless fleeing began, some part of you seems to have forgotten that you are running away from actual people and that there is an actual possibility that they might catch up to you.

pairing. kwon soonyoung / reader

genre. space pirate au, exes au, sci-fi au, romance, angst

word count. 4k

warnings. brief violence

notes. part of @merakiiverse​‘s collab! happy holidays, honeys.

-

Your heartbeat is steady. And unsettlingly silent.

The darkness stretching from wall to wall, blanketing the rooms and corridors in a thick black only interrupted by the round stream of your flashlight which creates distorted shadows before you, does not make your blood pump faster anymore. A thrill you faintly remember from past times in this career is but a stale taste in the back of your throat now, its tang long since eroded.

Skimming over the numbers on each crate with heavy-lidded eyes as you proceed, your free hand digs in the pocket of your coat to retrieve a small list. You cannot bother to count the rooms you pass until you find the box with a code matching the one on your piece of paper, dismissing any distant thud that might reach your ear. Even the thought of one of the thugs you passed on the street before entering the warehouse following you inside, does not alarm you. You trust it would be different if a thirty-seven thousand credit blaster - stolen, naturally - wasn’t fastened to your utility belt, but you cannot be sure anymore.

You shove the end of your flashlight in your mouth as you crouch before the targeted crate and pull out your cloaked mobile to hack the heavy lock sealing the lid shut - a fruitless attempt at keeping your kind out. And with nothing but a few taps and a few beeps more, the lock slides open.

The list feels amateur to you despite its ambition; two whole pairs of di-blasters, no less than three Caratian batteries and one weighty pouch of crystal powder. You're aware that this used to be exhilarating, the thousands of credits worth of cargo you are currently tucking in your backpack - multiplied with a one point two by your buyer. However. You suppress a yawn as you check the list again, before closing the crate with a loud boom.

And wandering back the way you came is just as uneventful as you remember it.

Until you hear a door shut somewhere behind you, not far away.

Instinct is what swings you around, arm steady with experience as you shine your light forth and around, other hand ready on the handle of your blaster. You see nothing but shelves and crates and more crates as your light scans the room, penetrating its dense shadow. Your heartbeat is picking up, but shyly so, your breathing yet even.

Silence. Similar to the one that often creeps inside your skull and lays its eggs of isolation and loneliness in your dreams when you try to sleep during some nights. You gulp, slowly releasing the grip on your blaster.

So you turn back around, quietly and carefully-

A face.

Halted breath.

Soonyoung?

Everything burns, lightning setting fire to the bones beneath your skin and squeezing your lungs of their air and-

...

A piercing headache is what coaxes your consciousness, eyes yet closed. Piercing, as though you are being slammed in the head with the handle of a blaster over and over, the resulting groan that crawls its way out of your chest almost causing you to jump in surprise. Attempting to pry your eyelids open only seems to worsen the incessant pounding, so you let them remain shut, slowly realizing that you are slouched on the ground, back leaned against a wall of some sort. You move to push yourself forward.

But your wrists are tied behind you.

It hurts when your breath hitches.

You force your eyes open then, despite it seemingly grasping your brain and ripping it apart, the instinct to survive activating and tingling within your muscles.

A disorienting blur is all you see through your squinting, a distant canvas of blacks and greys and biting lights. You think a monotone whirr surrounds you but cannot be sure if its a figment of mere imagination through the painful pounding in your ears.

As your vision slowly steadies and your heartbeat’s speed increases, you see that someone sits before you. A face. When your eyes close, Soonyoung’s face flashes across the insides of your lids and you feel fluster burning beneath your cheeks, remembering. Soonyoung?

With a sharp sting, you blink and blink away the dim coating your pupils. It isn’t Soonyoung.

“Ji- ugh... Ji-...” Jihoon, your sore throat won’t let you say.

Jihoon?

His glare is pointed, willing everything in its way to turn to stone. Just like how it used to be. But filled with more hatred, directed at you now. And you can barely comprehend that it is really him.

The inside of a ship surrounds you when you look around, a grey and matte metal, various large crates - one of which Jihoon is seated upon - rucksacks and blasters and canisters and multicolored lights crowding the space. It is bigger than the ship of theirs from your memories.

Jihoon’s all but predatory gaze is still waiting when you return to it.

You try to clear your throat, wincing at the painful pounding that follows and echoes between the walls of your skull. Fingertips tingling, you remember being knocked out, in the warehouse. The fiery burn. Electricity.

“Ji-” you begin, voice raspy but Jihoon stands with a sigh and walks away, out through a doorway and presumably into another room.

You are left stunned, feeling abandoned, body aching. The chill he meets you with after all these years, without even as much as a word, squeezes around your heart in a most discomforting way, despite being expected. Despite him clearly having a hand in your current physical state.

But you ignore that pain and will your eyes to scan your surroundings, your instinct to survive muted but present, searching for any way to escape and run.

With as much power as you can muster in your unwell state and vulnerable position, you jerk your wrists against the cuffs tying your hands together. An electronic lock, you guess, definitely attached to the wall somehow. Inconvenient...

You swallow around slimy saliva, throat so dry it almost feels like sand on its way down. And Soonyoung’s face flashes behind your eyelids when you blink again.

Your eyes are fixed on the doorway now, somehow sensing exactly who will soon enter, rhythmic thuds of footsteps approaching.

But expecting his appearance does naught to calm the heat his presence spreads throughout your body.

Soonyoung.

The same Soonyoung but with grimmer eyes, a stronger build and a missing smile.

Your throat squeezes, feeling as though your heart has jumped up and plugged it shut in an attempt to leave the painful constraints of your chest. Feelings you have tried to keep hidden for so long. Nails bite into your palms where your hands form tight fists behind you.

He walks with steady steps, sharp eyes narrow when they meet yours, Jihoon stopping to lean against the doorway while someone unfamiliar follows behind Soonyoung.

It hurts to breathe as heavily as you are now but you cannot stop.

Soonyoung stills before you to sit where Jihoon had, the stranger standing behind him scrutinizing you. But you don’t pay the latter much mind.

“Soonyoung...” you sigh, but an injured whisper, something salty burning distantly behind your eyes.

He watches you silently, eyebrows twitching slightly at the utterance of his name.

“Why-” you begin but stumble on a cough.

Soonyoung reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a small flask, unscrewing the lid and guiding it to your mouth, helping you drink. If he were anyone else, you would give the offer a second guess. But he’s Soonyoung.

Yet here you are, captive in his ship.

“You never were good at being taken by surprise...” His voice resonates within the deepest parts of your chest and you choke slightly on the water, fists tightening impossibly when his sentence his followed by your name. The familiar vibrations in your ears are too shocking and it somehow scares you, a feeling you do not experience much of.

Soonyoung retracts the flask and flashes you a strained smile, eyes remaining dull. “That’s why we made such a good team.”

A stab in the heart, is what that sentence feels like and you cannot help but shift your eyes to the floor, your dirty boots. Unearned, since you were the one holding the knife back then.

You test your voice with a careful hum, lifting your eyes to meet Soonyoung’s returned frown. “Wh- uhm... I- You electrocuted me... Didn’t you?”

He nods, something pained in his stare. Freezing compared to how Jihoon made you feel. “Yes.”

“Wh-” A cough. “Where’s my ship?”

“We’ve parked it in a private haven. It’s ours now.”

Your gaze shifts from Soonyoung to the stranger behind him, his expression inquisitive, then to Jihoon, glare heavy with unmistakable anger. A swallow tightens your throat.

“You- Why am I here?”

“We want credits,” Soonyoung says and you frown. “A desire you must be pretty familiar with...”

Your heartbeat freezes for a second and something stings somewhere behind your eyes again. There is venom in his voice that never used to be there before. But you are who poisoned him so the hurt you feel is unearned, you remind yourself.

“So, then just take-”

“We want credits,” Soonyoung repeats, interrupting you and resting his elbows on his thighs to lean closer. “... but not yours.”

When your eyes stray due to puzzlement they are only received by Jihoon’s still hateful glare, therefore returning to Soonyoung quickly. Even though his hostility hurts you more.

“Then... What will you do with me...?”

The man before you shrugs, head jerking when black strands of hair catch on his eyelashes. “Nothing much... We’re not gonna kill you or hurt you any more. But I can’t make such promises on the Chancellor’s behalf.”

Your jaw drops along with your heart, and probably your temperature too.

“You’ve pissed a lot of people off, y’know?” Soonyoung continues, leaning away. “The bounty on your head only keeps increasing, especially alive.”

“Y-... You’re fetching me for the Chancellor...” Your voice is significantly weaker now.

And it seems to reach Soonyoung differently, because the chill in his gaze turns glum, a poignance in the way he observes your deflating form on the floor of his ship. Which only seems to worsen the pain viciously clawing at your insides, like your body is only just realizing that it is really him. He found you, after so long. And he is sending you to your probable death.

“Soonyoung...”

He purses his lips, as if biting back an apology of some sorts that he knows you don’t deserve. A nod is all you get before he stands again.

“Jeonghan, upload the route and start the ship,” he commands, seemingly to the stranger behind him. Then he is gone through the doorway again, what remains of your heart merely left to soak in self-inflicted misery.

...

They decide to watch you for one shift each whilst you travel toward your pending doom, a wise decision considering your track record of escaping sticky situations. Coupled with the fact that you do not want to hurt either Soonyoung or Jihoon anyway, despite phantom heat still tingling throughout your limbs from the earlier electric shock and heavy handcuffs digging into your wrists.

Jeonghan, the stranger, is the first to watch you. He is surprisingly nice to you, offers you water and even bread, initiating small talk - something you cannot remember when you last did without an ulterior motive.

“So, you used to know Soonyoung and Jihoon, right?” he asks at one point with an encouraging smile, making you wonder how much he knows. The weight of the question rings quietly in your ears.

“Uhm, yes... Yes, I used to know them...”

When you say no more, despite Jeonghan’s patience, he clears his throat. “Did... you guys have a falling out?”

You scoff upon reflex. “Yeah, you could say that...”

Jeonghan squints. “What happened?”

A heaviness brews within Jeonghan’s eyes and suddenly you feel like he knows everything, like he is just asking to confirm what he has already been told. To decide if you really are the vile monster he thinks of you as.

The darkness of the cargo hold turns colder suddenly and you look away. “I’d rather not talk about it...” you squeak as your heart thuds painfully.

Jeonghan’s all but invasive stare fades and he changes the subject then.

...

The next shift is Jihoon’s and you have never felt as naked, vulnerable and guilty as you do under his burning glare.

He doesn’t utter one single word. Only sits in front of you and stares, seemingly trying to summon your death with nothing but one long look and a chilling quiet. And you are terribly surprised that it doesn’t work.

Not even sleep is worth attempting in Jihoon’s silence as when your lids fall shut Jihoon’s loathing expression is imprinted behind them, slowly morphing into Soonyoung’s instead. It only makes your heart jump and eyes itch, so you endure Jihoon’s invisible knives with an increasingly parched throat for the duration of his shift.

...

Despite how unsettling being watched by Jihoon proved to be, when it is Soonyoung’s turn you almost ask Jihoon to stay.

Your body has grown heavy with fatigue but your mind awakens painfully when Soonyoung approaches, bringing a tension so thick it makes you sweat with him. Therefore his first action of offering you water is appreciated. But the way there’s a permanent frown weighing at the corners of his mouth makes the water taste bitter.

You break the silence after moisturizing your vocal chords, speaking over the consistent beeping sounds in the background.

“I think Jihoon wants me dead,” seems like the only thing you can think of saying. Even though there are so many words boiling within your chest with Soonyoung’s name written all over them, you feel like you do not have the right to their utterances.

Soonyoung’s lips purse, slanted gaze serious. “You’re probably right.”

It hurts, though you have not earned that pain. Only caused it.

A quiet that lasts a forged eternity proceeds, until the tension turns deafening.

Soonyoung sighs, a slow hand combing through his hair. “Jihoon used to like you more than me, y’know? You were always his favorite...”

It really hurts.

“Until you fucked us over,” Soonyoung finishes.

Averting your eyes you swallow around slimy saliva, a cold knot twisting in the pit of your stomach. And there is a burn behind your eyelids you are afraid will boil over if you meet Soonyoung’s stare again. The cognizance of your weakness that washes over you and makes your hairs stand on end is unpleasant, mercilessly corroding the strong image you’ve built of yourself.

“You-you gave up everything we had for... money,” Soonyoung continues when you can’t, the weight of his tone increasing. “You left us, you left... me. You left me for fucking credits...” His voice wavers and it’s a dagger in your heart, a sting behind your eyes.

Your memory is as clear as if it had only just happened. Seeing the offer that had been sent to you. Considering and considering and considering, all those credits that could be yours if you just made the right choice. Lying sleepless next to Soonyoung that night, palm flat on his naked chest. Getting dressed quietly, leaving the ship with the emptiness of an unspoken goodbye in your stomach, one you convinced yourself wasn’t real. Giving away the ship’s location to the bidder, knowing the trouble it would bring your friend and your lover. How salty the countless credits tasted once yours. You still taste it now.

Though you cannot be sure of how long it takes for you to notice that you are crying, you find that your will to save face has run out. You break at last.

Ugly sobbing bounces between the metal walls of the ship, worsening with each breath as you keep remembering that you are not the one who should be crying. Your lungs burn painfully, Jihoon and Jeonghan surely waking upon your horrid weeping. It feels as though your heart is melting, running down your cheeks and dying as the droplets flatten across the floor. In only moments, you are reduced to nothing. Nothing but shame. And the man whose heart you battered witnesses it all.

Eventually, there are no more tears left to cry and silence thrives again, save for the rhythmic beeping.

“I’m sorry,” comes the apology that is long overdue, as raspy as it may be.

Soonyoung’s expression is blue, eyes glazed over with a sadness you only recognize now when yours are too. “It doesn’t matter,” he reminds you, though his tone is not as dismissive as the sentence it offers.

Your head shakes quickly, strands of hair sticking against your tacky cheeks. “I know it doesn’t. You’ve always been a man of your word Soonyoung, and you will turn me in no matter what I say now...” you concede and Soonyoung’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I-I-I was greedy and selfish and only cared about credits, about feeling strong and independent and invincible-... Or so I thought. Or wanted to, I-... I cared about you two...” Your throat tightens, but you force your words out anyway. “I loved you Soonyoung and I- It wasn’t fake, I was never lying, I just-... I wanted to feel like I didn’t need you... And there will never be a time when I won’t regret what I did...”

Tears descend the expanse of your face again, but silently this time. And Soonyoung’s stare is filled with something warmer now, despite his steadfast sorrow. And you can only think about the hugs you left behind, the kisses, the smiles, the laughs.

“You’re an idiot.”

Your chest jumps at the new voice, blurry stare shooting to where Jihoon is leaned against the doorway again. He sounds the same after three years. And some of the hatred in his glare has faded now.

You nod carefully, lip shaking. “I know.”

Soonyoung’s eyes remain steadily on you.

From where your limbs are slumped in a dead pile against the wall, they stiffen abruptly when there’s a sudden hand on your cheek and your attention jumps to Soonyoung again. He wipes your tears with gentle touches, warm thumb soft across your skin. Nails tickle your cheekbone lightly as he moves to tuck some stray strands of hair behind your ear. Your heart must be shuddering.

“I missed you for a long time,” he tells you, pupils tracing the shapes of your features along with his finger. “And then hated you for even longer.”

Your lips purse, sour accord pooling in your eyes, his touch leaving a trail of pleasant tingles. “I hate myself too, and it’s due time I get served my share of consequences.”

Soonyoung’s lids become heavier and his gaze darkens. “You should get some sleep now,” he mutters.

And the temperatures within and around you drop when his hand leaves your face.

...

Despite Soonyoung’s request and your extreme fatigue, sleep did not come easily that night. Likely due to the knowledge of your approaching punishment - though it is hard for you to imagine feeling any worse than you already do.

The guilt that you postponed for the past years weighs uncomfortably on your shoulders as you now stand by the still sealed ramp, and so do the electronic cuffs around your wrists along with the hanging shadows beneath your eyes. A sickness is brewing in your stomach, made up of shame and hunger, but you somehow like it in the same way that you deserve it.

You can sense Soonyoung’s presence behind you as much as you can hear it by his footsteps, and turn around slowly. Jihoon and Jeonghan stand idly in the background, also awaiting your departure. Though there is seemingly something sour in the curl of Jihoon’s brow, and something hesitant in the stiffness of Jeonghan’s lip.

But undoubtedly, the grim matte of Soonyoung’s eye is worst of all.

His face hasn’t been this close in years and the longing ache his proximity offers feels as undeserved as his frown. You threw him away and he is still the victim, despite the handcuffs trapping you. Soonyoung is still the good one.

“It’s time,” he says, voice steady and breath fanning your face. He really is close.

You nod, "it’s time.” And the silence that has plagued your chest for too long only deepens then, cold within the confines of your ribs.

A smile is what the grimace you present is meant to be, eyes piercing his own, desperately trying to remember his exact shade of brown and the charming tilt encasing it. What you fell for, what you betrayed and what put you in your place. This is right, as much as it hurts and as dead as it renders your barely beating heart. The goodbye you have earned.

But a fire is rising in Soonyoung’s gaze, even though it’s not supposed to.

And then he is grabbing your face, gloved palms flat against your cheeks, and kissing you. His lips are soft and plump, his pace is hard and reckless, his taste is warm and familiar and your whole body is frozen. Until your heart bursts with something so loud it feels like it hasn’t made a single sound in forever.

Coming to half your senses, you kiss Soonyoung back with as much fervor as you can manage, tied hands tingling with an insatiable desire to touch him and hold him closer. As if hearing your silent plea, he pulls you in, leaving no air to breathe between you. You distantly imagine Jihoon’s head turning away and Jeonghan’s unreadable expression but cannot find the will to care.

Soonyoung pulls away far too soon and his serious yet heavy-lidded gaze pierces you still.

“Listen to me,” he starts, chest heaving in time with yours, grip meaningful on your shoulders. “Get out of there as quickly as you can, and come find me.”

Your whole body is shaking under the impact of your heartbeat.

“Understand?” Soonyoung’s brows shoot upward.

The demand is unrealistic. You have not heard of anyone escaping the captivity of the Chancellor and know that the odds are positively against you, no matter how skilled you might be. Your death is surely ready to welcome you with open arms, as soon as the ramp is lowered.

Yet, you nod. Knees quivering.

Faintly, you register something beeping.

“Soonyoung,” Jeonghan calls.

You don’t know what to make of the man’s expression when you turn to look, nor Jihoon’s.

Soonyoung’s whisper of your name brings your bug-eyed stare back to him. Those deep brown, fiery eyes.

You nod again.

He sighs, carefully.

Then steps away to push the button that opens the ramp.

Cold winds rush inside the ship and tousle your hair, worsening the shaking in your limbs. But all you feel is rhythmic exhilaration pumping from your heart.

You turn around, met with the sight of the Chancellor’s guards standing in the midst of a snowstorm, waiting for you. Nearly stumbling while descending the ramp’s tilt, the guards grab you and begin searching you immediately, while one of them relays a message to Soonyoung that you can’t seem to hear.

Your neck twists, eyes looking up and meeting Soonyoung’s from where he stands at the top of the ramp. Something in your chest is screaming and it’s deafening.

With guards’ hands patting you down, Soonyoung smiles and his eyes do too. And you are immediately infected, mirroring his expression instinctively, aware of how little you deserve him. In the chilling temperatures of this weather, your blood is warm. Soonyoung presses the button.

When the ramp seals shut, you are left knowing that Soonyoung will be there and he is left wondering if you will ever come.