#cause it takes me a loooong time to warm up & be open enough with someone that i eventually realize ''oh wait ive got a crush on this

[heyitslapis]

see if you guys saw more of emma (emerald 5vr) even in the present day of their story you would probably think that shes not really all that into apatite but the fact that im sitting here blushing & stupidly giggling to myself while talking about my human au apatite is bc i think apatite is so so so so so so hot & emma would too because of how similar we are

[xskyll]

The BNHA x Chobits AU that no one, not even Mineta, asked for.

The ramblings of my mind under the cut. Warning, it’s loooong.

Okay, so bear in mind that I only watched four episodes of Chobits and it was probably about 14 years ago, and also I didn’t really like it, lol

-Todoroki finds Midoriya laying on some bags of trash next to a dumpster.

-First he’s like “oh no, I need an adult,” because for all his “training,” dad never actually told him what to do when he found a dead body, (this is the summer before he starts U.A., so he’s still living at home). Endeavor is away for a week, and Fuyumi doesn’t count to him (sort of an Aristocats, “she’s not [an adult,] she’s just a sister!” thing). While he’s trying to remember that the police exist, he notices this dead body has very strange ear-like things. He comes closer to investigate. There are lots of weird body types in the world, because of quirks, but these things look metal, which isn’t unheard of, but something about these ears just strike him as unnatural.

- Good news, it seems like a robot, not a dead body. The ears open easily, and there are buttons inside. A power button (that’s right CHOBITS!! It’s in the ear! My love story isn’t going to start with molestation), some USB ports, an aux port, a slot for a microchip or SIM card or whatever, some sort of safety switch (he flips that on)…what really convinces him this is totally a robot are the blutooth and volume buttons (that’s right, Midoriya in this au can charge phones AND he’s a speaker, although the volume buttons’ primary function is to control the volume of his voice).

- He has no good reason for taking this thing home. It weights a ton, it’s awkwardly naked, except for some bandages wrapped around it, which do nothing to hide how anatomically correct this robot is, and he already has a phone charger, so he really has no use for it. 

- He feels weird about it though. While he was checking out the ears, he touched its face and the skin was soft and warm. He checked for a pulse, just out of curiosity, and found one. It looks like a person, aside from the ears, and it feels like a person. He feels bad leaving it in the trash. So he takes it home.

- Cue comedy routine where he gets this thing, not just in the house, but to his room without Fuyumi noticing.

- Once in his room, he hits the power switch. Nothing happens. He holds the power switch. Bingo. Robo-boy powers to life, bright, adorably large green eyes open. He’s holding it in his arms, and it’s still all tied up. It looks up at him and says hello.

- He drops it.

- He apologizes as he picks it back up, tugging at the wrappings to try to get its arms free. He realizes he needs to get pants, or at least boxers, for it, because it’s awake now and very much naked.

- For the very first time, he realizes that this adorable, thin-yet-lean-muscled, between 14-16 looking robo-boy might have been someone’s weird sex doll. They probably threw it away because they found a real person to date and they didn’t want them to know about their underage sex robot. This also sort of explains the pulse; the mystery pervert person probably programmed a fake pulse and did something to make his skin warm, to make him feel more real. Gross.

- He’s broken from these thoughts when the robot speaks. It says, “Please insert memory bank files or turn on base memory.” Todoroki is already freaking out, because this thing wants its memories, and he doesn’t have them. He opens the ear again and investigates. Next to the empty slot, there’s a small button labeled BM. Base memory? Sure, why not. He pushes it.

- The robot goes blank faced for a few seconds. When he comes to, he looks at Todoroki, then the room, then down at himself. He flexes his arms, trying to break the bands around him, but stops, saying, “Safety mode is on.”

- Todoroki finishes helping unwrap him, awkwardly doing so while pointedly looking away, once he gets to his lower half. Once he’s free, he goes and gets a pair of boxers and throws them in his direction. “Can you put them on?” He’s curious if the robot can do something like that unaided, and also he doesn’t want to cloth it himself, because even though this is a robot, it looks like a very cute boy his age. And it has a pulse. He can’t stop thinking about that.

- The robot puts on the boxers, after inspecting them for a second. He honestly does struggle to figure it out for a moment, cause he has zero common sense, but he does figure it out. It probably takes him about a minute. Once they’re on, he stands and starts inspecting the room.

- “Do you have a name?” seems like a dumb question, but he asks anyway and the robot answers, “I’m Project Midoriya.”

- Background info time. Midoriya is not fully a robot. He was kidnapped just seven months ago, coming home from school. It was the day of the sludge villain attack, but he got nabbed before they could cross paths. AFO wanted a quirkless person to experiment on. He did his research and found Midoriya Izuku, a quirkless boy with no friends and little family, who wouldn’t be missed very much. He’s confident enough that he won’t get caught that he titles his new project by its name: Midoriya. Midoriya’s memories are still in his mind, but they’re suppressed. AFO found it easier to backup his memories to a chip, so he could remove them as needed. When they were installed, Midoriya responded best to his own name anyway, so calling him that was also the easiest thing. Without his memories, AFO found him a bit annoying, because he had no social skills or common sense. He needed to be taught, which he didn’t have the patience for, so usually he just left the memories in. He was a timid boy anyway and easy to intimidate, especially if he threaten to hurt his mom.

- The cops figure his disappearance was maybe a runaway situation, but given his track record and the profile on him they’d compiled from listening to his mom, classmates, and teachers, they figure it’s more likely a kidnapping or murder. Fun fact though, he got kidnapped the day Bakugou told him to kill himself. Obviously no body is found, but he knows people go to forests to hang themselves, or put weights in their pockets and drown themselves. Those bodies can take years to find. So while all of this is happening, Bakugou is out there just every day, “what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?” When they finally see each other again, Bakugou freaks out and Midoriya’s suppressed memories are triggered. Bakugou demands answers, Todoroki is confused and defensive, and Midoriya is just, “System overload. Shutting down,” and then face plants to the floor.

- Anyway, back to Shouto. He asks Midoriya if he remembers anything. Midoriya has exactly one memory (or at least, one easily accessible memory), and it’s this: “A man. He looked like this.” He put his hand over his face. “He said, ‘Sensei put so much work into you. Why are you so useless (Deku)?’”

- More bg info, AFO gave Midoriya to Shigaraki, telling him to try to make him useful, and Shigaraki DID try for a couple of months, but he was over the whole situation after basically one day. With his memories, Midoriya was scared and traumatized, had morals, cried a bunch and sometimes tried to escape, and was just UGH. He could mute his voice, but even that didn’t help, cause this kid was just sooo annoying. Without his memories he was awkward and boring and still annoying. Eventually he just yeeted him into a trash heap, but took his memory chip, since it technically contains LoV information.

- Midoriya considers his only memory and thinks being called Deku feels sort of normal, so he says as much. “Deku might also be my name. You can call me that, if you want.” Todoroki says he’ll stick with Midoriya, because Deku isn’t a nice name for his new robot friend.

- So the first section of the story after this is fairly light-hearted. Todoroki has to keep Midoriya a secret from Endeavor and Fuyumi (I feel like she does find out eventually, but agrees to help hide him, as she sees it’s good for her little bro to finally have this (maybe?) living thing/person to talk to and take care of.) Speaking of care, Midoriya is very easy to care for. He can eat, drink, and sleep, but doesn’t need to. He has some sort of self-charging system. Most of his “care” involves teaching him social skills (which oof, blind leading the blind, but they say teaching is the best way to learn, so this is actually good for Shouto too). Embarrassing stuff happens. Fluffy stuff happens. It’s a good time.

- Shouto spends the summer with Midoriya this way. Most of their interactions are fluffy and light, but not all. The first time he comes back to his room after training with his dad, he learns two things: Midoriya has first aid knowledge programmed into him and he’s capable of crying. As the trainings continue, Midoriya eventually reveals that he has over a hundred fighting styles programmed into him and knows over 70 ways to kill a person, but he can’t access any of that information while his safety is on. Todoroki is just like, “Uuuuuh, that’s really good to know…but we’re gonna keep the safety on for now, okay? I hate my dad but also please don’t murder him. He’s famous so we wouldn’t get away with it. Also murder is bad, don’t kill people.”

- Midoriya wants to know if all heroes are like Endeavor and Shouto is like, noooo and shows him the debut video of his personal favorite hero: All Might. Watching this video is the first time Midoriya has a “System overloading. Shutting down” moment. Shouto has an absolute panic attack, because if Midoriya reboots and his memories are wiped, then he’ll have lost the best friend he ever had. But Midoriya restarts and he’s fine. He explains that sometimes he shuts down, to prevent a system failure, which would damage his…idk, hard drive or whatever. He quietly admits that the All Might video is very familiar, and he thinks maybe it used to be important to him. Shouto questions him about his memories and Midoriya theorizes that perhaps he has them backed up, but he isn’t sure how to access them. 

- This is exciting for Shouto, because he thinks maybe if Midoriya experiences more “triggers,” like the video, he might regain his memories and be able to shed some light on the general mystery of where he came from/who made him/what his purpose is. Whenever Endeavor is away, he tries to sneak Midoriya out, so he can see the real world. He isn’t too concerned about his ears, because in a world of quirks, there are plenty of odd looking people around. So far he’s been wearing Todoroki’s clothes, which a little too big on him, so they go shopping and get him clothes. None of their outings seem to trigger anything, except one time when they pass a park where Midoriya and Bakugou used to play as kids. Midoriya grows quiet and seems far away for a moment, but he doesn’t overload and shakes off the familiar feeling.

- Whenever they see All Might stuff he’s just !!!!!!! He can’t remember why he likes All Might, but he remembers how he feels about him. The more All Might stuff he sees, the more his old feelings return. One day they pass a large All Might poster and Midoriya says, “I think maybe I wanted to be like him, once.”

- Eventually Todoroki starts school. He feels bad about leaving him, but Midoriya is content to stay in his room and occupy himself until Todoroki comes home. He’s part computer, so he’s a total boss at helping with math homework. He likes doing homework with Todoroki in general, because he likes learning. This is great for Todoroki’s grades because again, the teaching thing helps everything stick better for him. 

- The attack on USJ happens and Todoroki sees Shigaraki, who has a hand on his face, and he’s like, “Shit, shit, shit, this is the guy who threw away Midoriya,” and he has NO idea what to do with that information. Midoriya belonging to the LoV does explain the “70+ ways to kill” programming though. He tells Midoriya what happened and Midoriya is kind of whatever about it. He says, “Maybe I belonged to villains, but I belong to you, now.” And Shouto is like, “No, no, no, no. You do not. You belong to yourself” and Midoriya is just ????

- I think for the Sports Festival, Midoriya convinces him to use his fire. It’s sort of like, “It’s your power, even though its origin is Endeavor. Just like how everything I can do is my power, even though I was programmed by villains. Being made by villains doesn’t make me a villain. Using the resources they gave me doesn’t make me a villain. Being Endeavor’s son doesn’t make you Endeavor, and using your fire doesn’t either.” Todoroki turns off Midoriya’s safety, confident he has nothing to fear.

- Midoriya watches the Sports Festival on tv (using his blutooth, he can actually just hear the volume in his head, so he can watch silently). He sees Bakugou. Seeing him on screen doesn’t have a huge impact on him, but he does feel something. Fear, unease, admiration, and affection. He’s confused and uncomfortable, and ends up looking away from the screen whenever he’s shown for too long.

- Shouto actually starts making friends at school. Being with Midoriya has taught him a lot about being kind and the joy having other people in your life can bring. Still, he doesn’t trust anyone enough to tell them about Midoriya. He’s terrified of losing him.

- For the Hosu incident, Midoriya is home alone, probably doing something on Shouto’s laptop. He sees the breaking news and is just, “Welp, that’s where Shouto, the official best person in the world, is, so guess I’m going to Hosu to make sure he’s safe.” He leaves the house alone, for the first time ever, and just runs to Hosu. Idk how far away Hosu is from the Todoroki residence, but Midoriya doesn’t fatigue and he’s also outrageously fast, so it’s fine. Also he can see in the dark, but only if he activates his night vision, which makes his eyes glow. Not good for sneaking, but very pretty and cool. I’m not sure how he finds Shouto, or how Shouto found Iida, but I imagine Stain is like, seconds from skewering him and then Midoriya comes out of nowhere and collides with Stain (which is a big deal, cause remember, Midoriya is filled with metal parts and is super heavy). They fight together and at some point Stain cuts Midoriya and he bleeds, which for Shouto is like !?!??! And then he licks his blood and the paralysis works and Shouto is just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Later, after the life threatening stuff is over, Todoroki has some seriously thoughts about this, because what if Midoriya is human? Or part human? That would be a huge development, and also kind of relief for him, because he sort of feels like he’s been falling in love, but he’s been desperately stomping down on those feelings, because he knows falling in love with a robot probably isn’t healthy. But falling in love with a half robot? I mean, Iida could be called part robot, with his legs, if you want to get technical about it. And Todoroki does want to get technical about it, thank you very much. If Iida is dateable, then so is Midoriya.

- Back to Hosu. They beat Stain and, after securing him, Todoroki tells Midoriya to go home, before his dad arrives. Once he leaves, he begs Iida not to tell anyone he saw him and promises to explain later. For ease of narrative, Native was unconscious the entire fight.

- Endeavor shows up, as does the Nomu. It takes Shouto but Stain rescues him. At the hospital, Todoroki explains the Midoriya situation to Iida, revealing that this incident was the first time he realized Midoriya had blood in him. Iida agrees to keep the secret, but urges Todoroki to tell someone. Maybe Aizawa. He agrees to consider, but he doesn’t want Midoriya to get taken away and like, locked up to be studied or something. He and Iida become better friends, bonding over almost dying together and sharing the secret of Midoriya. 

- Midterms! Shouto scores higher because he has an awesome robot tutor. He doesn’t actually care, but good for him regardless.

- Summer field trip time. Midoriya can’t come, obviously. I’m thinking during this time, he decides to sneak out of the house and explore on his own. He feels guilty, because Shouto would worry if he knew, but he just feels this draw. He feels like maybe his old memories were important, and he’s becoming curious. He keeps thinking about the boy from the Sports Festival and about All Might. He ends up in his old neighborhood. He sees his middle school and he doesn’t remember anything, but seeing the building makes him feel lonely and sort of bad about himself. It reminds him of Shigaraki calling him Deku, and the familiar feeling that gave him. He leaves and finds himself on his old street. He isn’t close at all to his old home - he can barely see the apartment building - but he can still see it. He almost shuts down, but turns away quickly and starts back the way he came. He doesn’t remember anything, but seeing that building fills him with overwhelming emotions. The strongest one reminds him of his feelings for Shouto, but it’s different. He can’t place it, but he knows he’d die to protect Shouto, and he feels like maybe he once knew someone in that building that he would also die to protect. Once he gets home, he realizes he’s crying. He decides to sleep and he dreams of green eyes and a smile that looks like home.

- Shouto is injured during the villain attack and goes to the hospital. Once he’s released, he agrees with Kirishima that they’ll go rescue Bakugou. That whole thing pretty much goes at it did in canon, except All Might never found a successor, so he’s more powerful. He defeats AFO and does not have to retire, though he’s feeling an overwhelming pressure to find a successor now, because he knows he’s hanging on by a thread.

- Dorms!! Shouto is bringing his boy with him. He figures he can hide him just as easily there as he can at home. Getting him in is a little tricky, but he manages. From there, it’s smooth sailing.

- Except not really, because living with 18-19 other people (19 if Hitoshi is in the class, which, maybe) is way different than living with 2. Midoriya is discovered in like, a week and everyone is freaking out, most of all Bakugou, who basically breaks down. He tries to hit Midoriya and screams at him, about thinking he was dead and going to his funeral and how it was his fault and having to face his mom and did Midoriya even think about his mom??? As previously mentioned, Midoriya just shuts down and face plants to the ground.

- Shouto finally learns Midoriya’s full name. Midoriya Izuku. A+ name. Very cute. He plans to use it immediately.

- Bakugou’s insight changes the situation completely. Now they know Izuku was once 100% human and something awful happened to him. They end up bringing him to Aizawa and explaining the situation and everything they know. Todoroki gets scolded, cause Izuku could have been dangerous and he should have known better, but he doesn’t even pretend to have regrets. Endeavor would have made him throw Izuku back into the trash where he found him. His best friend isn’t trash.

- Now the name of the game is helping Izuku restore his memories. Bakugou is a huge help, but patience is required, to keep Izuku from overloading. He remembers bits and pieces at a time, all centered around Bakugou. Aizawa agrees to let him attend classes, so they can keep an eye on him. He’s also hoping a school setting might trigger more memories. He meets All Might and he doesn’t even get to announce his system malfunction before he’s out. He sees him, starts smoking at the mouth and hits the floor. All Might is very alarmed.

- Tsukauchi is made aware of the situation. He wants to keep things under wraps though. If the LoV is aware Midoriya is out and about, they may target him. If they can restore his memories though, they may gain insight into the group’s plans. That being said, he thinks it’s only right that they tell Inko. They tell her they have information on her son and make her sign a contract, agreeing not to release any information. Once she agrees, they brief her on what they know and, at the end, bring in Izuku.

- Izuku has been talking with Bakugou about his mom, to prepare for this (he usually wants Shouto with him for these conversations, and Shouto and Bakugou sort on inadvertently become friends). He can’t remember her at all, but he remembers the face in his dream. He knows it’s her. While talking, he’s shut down a few times (which drives Bakugou up the wall, and also scares him a little, cause he kind of looks dead when it happens), but he thinks he might be ready to see her now. He’s brought in and he does not shut down, not fully, but he comes close. He definitely glitches a little, maybe doing a quick reboot, quick enough that he doesn’t even fall, and his voice comes out cracked and metallic when he speaks, and there are sparks in his mouth, but he manages, “Mom?” They both cry and she holds him while he tells her, voice wavering between sounding normal and sounding robotic, that he doesn’t remember her, but he loves her, he knows he loves her so so much and he knows he’s missed her, even though he didn’t know who she was. It’s very emotional, and extremely hard for both of them when they finally have to separate, because Izuku can’t go home with her. She’s allowed to visit though, and each visit helps him restore little pieces of his memory. Between her and Bakugou, he starts making enough progress that he stops shutting down when he gains a new memory, and he starts remembering his old hopes and dreams. He doesn’t remember what AFO did to him, but he remembers enough of his past to feel self-conscious now, about his body. He breaks down one day and Shouto holds him while he grapples with his identity, his humanity, and his future. 

- I’m picturing a scene where he’s crying and Shouto takes his face in his hands and explains all the beautiful things about him that make him human, and he finishes up with something corny like, “I know you, Izuku. You’re human. You have to be human, because I’m in love with you.” And then they KISS and it is ROMANTIC!

- He decides he still wants to be a hero and he becomes a real member of 1A, instead of just a visitor. The whole class helps him design a costume and come up with a name and in general are just like, “Cyborg Hero, yay!!”

- And that’s all I got. I think eventually he would fight the league, and probably retrieve his chip, giving him 100% of his memories. There’s a LOT of trauma to deal with there, because he was basically torn apart and put back together several times by AFO, but they do gain all the information they need to take down the LoV for good. And the Overhaul arc is in there. Izuku might still intern with Nighteye, because All Might is like, “Robot successor? Maybe???” and he wants Nighteye’s opinion. Nighteye can’t see his future, because he’s not fully human, but eventually he gives his stamp of approval. Eri is rescued and that’s a very personal fight for Izuku, because he identifies with what she’s gone through. And of course she loves him and thinks his ears are cute and his glowy eyes are pretty.

- Oh, and the School Festival. I honestly don’t even know what to do with him. He can learn any instrument just by like, downloading some YouTube tutorial videos. He can learn any dance by watching it once. He’s really strong, really fast, and can also operate as a speaker (though that can be awkward, cause it’s through his mouth, so he’d just be standing there with his mouth open). They might keep his role same as canon, idk. They’d probably all fight over him.

- I’m sure none of this was anything like Chobits. Sorry. I just think the ears are neat, really, and liked the idea of Izuku being a cyborg (Chobits isn’t even about cyborgs, lol).

Sorry this is outrageously long! If you want to write this into a full fic, feel free to use my ideas! Just give me a shoutout, maybe? And tell me about it, so I can read it!

[wongxiexie]

Letting go

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: Angst with a happy ending Word Count: 1.171 words Note: Haven’t written anything decent in a loooong time asdfghjkl yeah. The photo’s from SKZ’s Twitter.

For so long now, you’ve always wondered how you could ‘let go’ of something, of someone, that never actually became yours. And to your luck, or lack thereof, you find that the answer is right there, written on the question itself.

Just let go.

It should be easy, if you think about it, because all it would take to end holding onto something not yours is to just open your hand and let go, just like that.

Open your hand and relinquish the grip you have of something that shouldn’t have been held onto in the first place.

Easy in theory, but in practice? Let’s just say letting go of someone as wonderful, as beautiful, as caring, as sensitive, as-- the list goes on, someone as so utterly perfect as Bang Chan, would be like pushing all the continents in the world back together when you’re the size of an ant.

What is it that they always say about love? 

Oh, right. 

Love shouldn’t have to be reciprocated in order for it to work, because love should be given out of love, not out of expectation. So, really, love shouldn’t be the aspect that is questioned because it would always work regardless of it being returned.

What requires active reciprocation, on the other hand, is a romantic relationship. 

It’s all your fault, you realize. Now that you’ve been slapped with the harsh truth, it dawns on you how all this could have been avoided if you had just kept your eyes wide open to reality, but no. The sweet gestures and heavy doses of undivided attention kept you behind a wide panel of rose-colored glasses, blinding you from the truth and shielding you from multiple attempts at a wake up call.

You love him, that much is true. And even with your obvious partiality, you know he loves you, too. So where did it go wrong?

At what point did the route start to go haywire that it brought you here, at the present, standing in front of the man of your dreams, tears streaming down your face, throat clogged with emotion, with him standing in front of you and looking like a lost puppy?

You find the answer to that in his next words.

Ever so gently, his slightly-calloused hands take hold of your own pair, his thumbs softly rubbing over your knuckles.

“I love you too, [y/n]...” he begins with utmost sincerity, and despite the obvious ‘but’ to his statement, you find your heart beating just a tad bit faster at the confession.

“But…” and there it goes. “... I don’t love you the same way.”

You’re too late to stop the sob that escapes your mouth at his statement, and fuck, does it hurt all the more when he throws away all awkwardness and inhibition and just engulfs you in a warm embrace.

It should feel embarrassing, to cry in front of the man who had just rejected you after you confessed your undying love to him, but you find that with Chan, there’s no such thing.

Even with the rejection, he’s there.

He’s still there, hugging you, comforting you, being a rock-solid support just there to stay with you while you work through your overwhelming emotions. And that realization makes you cry even harder.

Chan whispers soft reassuring words to your ears, all while rubbing soothing patterns on your back. It’s only when you’ve calmed down a bit does he hold you by the shoulders and looks at you straight in the eyes.

“[y/n],” he starts, and you almost bawl your eyes again just by how gently he says your name, but you stop yourself.

“I want you to listen, and I mean really listen to what I’m about to say because this is the truth. None of this is made up, or exaggerated, and absolutely none of what I say will be said merely as an excuse. Do you hear me, [y/n]?”

You nod amidst your sniffles, and you muster enough strength to send a small teary smile his way, an action you don’t realize means so much to Chan than you’ll ever know.

He moves his arms back down to grasp your hands, holding them in his much bigger ones, and he sends you a smile of his own before he speaks.

“I do love you, so much that I can’t even begin to describe it. But I don’t love you in a romantic way.” You try to avert your eyes, but he squeezes your palms lightly, making you bring your gaze back to him.

“I love you so much more than that.”

With that simple sentence, your breath gets caught in your throat and it makes you look at him more closely.

Chan’s stare falls to your entwined hands, his fingers idly fiddling with yours. For a few seconds, he seems to think over his next words before he heaves a deep breath, returning his eyes to lock onto your orbs.

“You mean so much to me that I love you more than just in a romantic way, [y/n]. I love you as one of my best friends. And I need you to understand how that means so much more to me than anything else in the world, because having you as my best friend means I get to have you by my side forever.”

The sincerity laced with his words causes tears to once again well up in your eyes, but this time, for an entirely different reason.

Here you were, lamenting over how he didn’t want you as a girlfriend, entirely missing the fact that he wanted you as something more for him - as his best friend - as someone who can stay by his side forever.

Maybe if this happened a few years back, you would have been hurt by what he said, maybe even offended by it. Perhaps you would have slapped him had he told you this a couple of years ago, a couple of months, days, maybe even a few hours ago, you’d have stormed off after hearing his explanation.

But now, as you stand in front of the man you love, the man who loves you even more, you begin to understand.

This time, you’re the one who pulls him forward for a hug, and you smile amidst the tears because now, you understand. Little by little, the rose-tinted glass breaks until finally, it falls to reveal an even more beautiful reality.

As Chan heaves a breath of relief from your acceptance, he winds his arms around you to return the embrace. And there in his warm hold, you smile.

You smile because you know you’ll get better with time. You know that now, you can wholeheartedly let go, not of him, but of the idea that you could only be happy with him in a certain way.

And there, engulfed in his safe embrace, you smile because now, you begin to understand what love is and how important you really are to each other.

[avengersohyeah]

Can You Stop It ?

Masterlist 

A/N : So… Just another fluff, how Bucky can’t stop wondering how you couldn’t stop making him look at you. Just look at that !… My Baby Bucky

“Stop it….just stop it…” Bucky muttered lowly with his jaw clenched. Seeing this, Steve just can’t help but to follow his best friend’s gaze. He sighed at his best friend afectionally.

“What needed to stop Buck ?” Steve asked even knowing what’s bothering his pal.

“What ?!” Bucky snapped his head to see Steve plastering his toothy commercial grin. “No.. nothing.. I just ..” He couldn’t finish his sentence because he hears your laugh again, snatching all his attention from the world just for you. The way your voice sounded between short breathed laugh over and over, the way your eyes would disappear between your closed lids when you laugh, the way you throw your head back when you couldn’t contain anything that makes you laugh no more. He hates it, you snatched all his attention from the world around him. he was trained asassin that is supposed to be aware to every threats possible in the room. But whenever you’re in the same room, he couldn’t focus on anything but you.

“You just what Buck ?”

“Forget it Steve… it’s just I kinda not concentrated at the moment…” With that, he walk out of the room to the gym he was intended to be over five teen minutes ago.

“Oh come on now!… Can you just stop ?”

“Stop what Barnes ?” Sam asked, feeling that the question is directed to him, since he’s the one that have been talking with the soldier this past hour. But then he realized that the soldier’s gaze wasn’t even on him. He followed the gaze, and there’s you. Wiggling your butt and dancing carelessly while you cooking to the music from the headphone you put on. With a knowing snort, he left the soldier to stare at you dancing stupidly to whatever song you listen to. Before he exited, he chance a glance back towards the soldier. And yup! He doesn’t even notice him leaving.

“Sweet Jesus ! It’s eight in the morning….. Stop it please….”

Hearing these words from her fellow asassin Nat couldn’t help but to look at the cause of it. There in the entrance of the common room, you stood with your bed hair, eyes puffy, and lips pouting. Over all you look cute, Nat always thought you are cute as her little brother. But when she glance back at Bucky again, she knows exactly what’s up. It doesn’t need to be a master at reading micro expresion to know actually. She shakes her head while smiles at the form of the former winter soldier that is fawning over your zombie-like state.

“You should ask him out Barnes…” She said before taking a sip of her cofee.

“What ? ask  who.. who to ask …?.. I don’t know what are you talking about..” Bucky stammered, he hates it. He stammered in front of the women that he knew capable of reading people, even Loki.

“Don’t play dumb now ! The whole compound knew just how much you like that boy..” At her rather loud statement, He quickly chance a glance at the entrance of the kitchen where you stood just a mere minutes ago. And you’re gone

He sighed “That obvious huh ?” He scratched his neck. “But I can’t Nat.. it’s just .. it’s not possible, I mean I’m I’m a men and he is a men also.. How if people…”

“So what ? if you like him, then it’s enough reason to ask him out. Besides, you don’t need to worry about what people said. People will always judge, but that don’t stop you in finding your happiness..”

“I didn’t know you’re into heartfelt peptalk now Nat… where did you even hear that from?”

She shruged “(Y/N)…” Then she sips her cofee again.

At the mention of your name, Bucky’s form clearly lighten up. “(Y/N) ? You mean he said that to you ?”

“Yes he did, remember when you, Sam, and Steve went on that mission Saturday night last week ?” Bucky nodded “We had these drunk chatting, we play games, while we drink these wine stark brought from Italy. I asked him about how he doesn’t seems to care to let people know that he’s gay… And that was his answer…. That sentence only…” She get up and leave the soldier alone, to think over what she said. No,… what you said…

“Have you talk to him ?” Sam asked Steve while they wait for their drinks to be made. It’s another Stark’s party celebrating another successful mission.

“Yeah, but he’s afraid that (Y/N) would reject him..”

“Have you told him that the boy liked him too ?” Nat said from behind the bar giving both men their drinks.

“I did, but he’s sure that I’m making that up” Steve then downed his beer.

“We need to give him a push..” Sam says a moment after.

“How ?” Steve countered.

“I got an idea…” Then she left both of the men. They just looked at each other with the same confused expresion.

About ten or fiveteen minutes after Nat left them, they saw none other than Thor entering the room. He wears his human attire, red blazer over white shirt that is tucked in his jeans. Not long after, they already gathered on the secluded area reserved for the team members.

“I brought my finest mead from Asgard for you, Steve, and James,” He then poured the liquid to both of their glasses before pour it for himself. As soon as they downed the said liquid, their posture seemed more relaxed. They drink more and more, until the super metabolism they had can’t keep up. At least Bucky’s can’t keep up, since Steve stopped at the third glass, but Thor keeps pouring it for his friend over and over. “So.. where is (Y/N) ? I thought I saw him earlier” Thor purposely ask Bucky.

Bucky hiccuped “He said he needed to change his clothes since someone spilled their drink to him.” He slurred over his words by now. Seeing the cue, Nat cut in

“I think he’s taking too long can you check on him Barnes ?”

“I… yeah.. he’s taking too loooong…” He whines “I’ll check him out, oh… no no no .. I’ll check on him…” With that, he left the party to ‘check on you’

“So this is the push you’re talking about ?” Sam asked her in awe, and she just smirked before taking a sip from her drink.

Bucky knocked on your door, but got no answer. He checked on the handle, and it’s opened. Being drunk for the first time after he’s free does affect his manner. He was supposed to call you first before come into your room, but he couldn’t care less now. When he stepped into your room, he couldn’t help but feel at ease. The little trinkets you put here and there, the pile of books on the nightstand, dozens of polaroids displayed on one side of your walls, all and all makes him feel comfortable. This room just screamed you. Bucky sits on the bed, feeling a little light headed. Thor’s liquor really did number on him, now that he sit down, he could feel his body starting to recover itself. He glanced to his right and see a polaroid peeking out of your pillow. He took it in curiosity. If he was drunk a minute ago, he’s high right now. There, the photo in his hand is a photo of him, it’s taken from the side while he was laughing at something so he’s not aware of being captured in a camera. You sleep with this photo under your pillow, you sleep with this photo near you, the photo of him, you liked him just like what Steve told him. When he’s about to put the photo back, he heard a door opening. It���s you, coming out from your bathroom, hair damp from the shower, drops of water running down at your bare chest and ended on the towel that is wraped aroud your hip. He couldn’t help but stare at this beautiful piece of a men that always manage to make him overwhelmed.

“Can you stop ?” Bucky said lowly, making his presence known in the room.

You jumped lightly out of surprise “Jeez Bucky ! You scared me… What are you doing in my room ? Aren’t you having fun at the party ? Thor just came right ? He said he brought Asgardian liquor for you and Steve.”

Bucky get up from the bed and walking slowly towards you “I’m here to check on you.. cuz you took so long I’m wondering what were you doing.” His voice low, it sound near a growl.

“Umm… Bucky.. What are you doing?” You steped back as he steped closer to you.

“Nothing, just want to see you closer… What is taking you so long by the way ?”

“I.. I.. that women spilled her wine at me, it felt sticky so I took a shower…” Your voice loose it’s volume each words. You tried to take another step back but you can’t, you met with a very cool surface of your walls. Bucky stepped closer, he’s now just few inches in front of your barely covered body. You could feel the heat rouse to your neck and cheek, you looked down to avoid his piercing gaze. He was so awkward around you, but always sweet. And this men in front of you is the complete oposite, he’s a beast, a predator that eyeing his prey.

“So.. tell me (Y/N), why did you have my photograph under your pillow ?” He asked

At this question you snapped your head to meet his eyes. And the moment you did, you didn’t see the annoyance from his eyes because he literally just caught you sleeping with his photograph. Instead, you were met with the very blue eyes that reflects the warmness of his soul. You lower your gaze again

“I.. I… like you Bucky…” You whispered, and you are sure that you are tomato by now. You closed your eyes and bite your lips in worry. Worried that you ruined your friendship by telling him your real feeling. Out of all chances, how did he find that goddamned photo. You cursed yourself in your mind when you feel his fingers under your chin, lifting it so he could see right into your eyes.

“I like you too (Y/N), I always have since the first day I saw you. I was scared that you’ll reject me if I told you, but.. I guess I’m an idiot huh ?” He chuckled.

“No, we’re both idiots…So… what now ?”

Without any words shared, he cupped your cheek and slammed his lips to yours. The kiss was sweet, passionate, filled with all emotions we felt towards each other. He broke the kiss and stares at you. “So now can you stop ?”

At his question you raised an eyebrow “Stop what ?”

“Looking so cute in front of other people, because I want to be the only one that get to see you that way…” He smiled his cheeky grin

“You’re drunk…but I can try…” You slammed your lips to him again in more heated kiss, he wrapped his metal arm on your waist, bringing your nearly naked body to his fully clothed one.

He broke the kiss “Since we’re here… Let’s not comeback to that party. Instead….” He then throw you to your bed, you bounced few times on it. You then lifted your upper body and support it with your elbows. And there you see him unbuttoning his shirt while openly staring at your tented towel wraped on your hip. You looked up to him, and then he attack your lips in yet another heated kiss. Pinning you down on the matress under his hard muscled body only covered in his boxer brief.

You broke the kiss again and ask him “So can you stop too ?”

“Stop what ?”

“Staring at me as if you undressing me with your eyes in front of other people ?”

He burst a laugh “So you’re aware of that ?” You just shruged “I can’t promise that…”

“Even if you get to really undress me all you want ?”

Taggs :  @thegreatficmaster @supernaturalimagine @supernaturaldaily @waywardwinterfics @buckyywiththegoodhair @angryschnauzer @mrgrant9559-blog @kaylzjordan @rawritsmeh @supernaturalfanfiction-com @after-avenging-hours @winchesterenthusiast​ @themerlintrashcan​ @wayward-warriors​ @themorningtrashcan @izzywinchester @avasparks​ @eve05glee​ 

[ssho25]

Too Shy to Say

Okay so, this is loooong overdue. But Happy Birthday to @andyzambie, the first online mutual I ever made. I started following you on Tumblr because of Daisuga, and so here is a fluffy Daisuga for you!

...

The minutes went by as Daichi’s math homework went unattended, his eyes wandering elsewhere. To be fair, it’s hard to concentrate on something as boring as homework when your crush of 2 and a half years is sitting next to you alone in your bedroom. 

But of course it didn’t stop there. No, the real kicker was how said crush had a habit of scrunching up his eyebrows while pouting when he struggled with a problem, followed up by his eyes lighting up and a proud, self-satisfied smile spreading across his face when he finally figured out the answer. Any other person would have seen a studious, hardworking student, but all Daichi could see was cute. Soon after first year had started, Daichi realized he would never tire of the person named Sugawara Koushi or miss how Suga could make his heart skip a beat without even trying. You’d think that after all that time together, Daichi would’ve built up a tolerance or at the very least learned how to ignore it. Teenaged hormones are apparently quite the formidable opponent.

“…chi…Daichi!”

Daichi snapped out of his trance. “Huh?”  

“I asked you if you figured out number 11.”

“Uh…” Daichi looked down at his blank worksheet and looked back up with a sheepish smile.

“That’s quite the progress you’ve made there,” Sugawara smirked.

“I uh…I’m a slow learner?”

“That’s not going to help a soon to be exam student,” Sugawara chided.

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there. Have patience.”

“Well, at least get there before tonight. I can’t help you if I’m at home.”

“You can just stay over tonight, can’t you?” Daichi pleaded.

“Didn’t you ask me to come study with you right now so you wouldn’t have to do it later?”

“Well…yeah, but you can’t help me if you leave before I’m done.”

“You can at least try the problems before you give up.”

“But math is hard,” Daichi whined. “Teach me, Suga? Please?”

Sugawara had that smile that said he’d help Daichi even if he didn’t beg. But Daichi knew Suga better than that. Suga was definitely going to tease him to get something out of helping him.

“Hmm, I don’t know if I can do that…” Sugawara trailed off. He looked away and held his chin in thought. “Should I help you? But what would I get out of it?”

Daichi flashed a knowing grin. “Mapo tofu or pork buns?”

“Tofu and ramen please!” Sugawara’s smile stretched out to cover the lower half of his face. Daichi’s heart started to thump so loudly in his chest, he started to worry if Sugawara could hear it.

“As you wish. Now how do I do question 1?”

Daichi was good for maybe an hour or 2. At the very least, he was able to reach question 11 so he and Suga could work out the problem together. But the second set of problems were a lot more difficult than he anticipated. He scratched his head as he stared down a one particularly troubling equation.

“Hey Suga, do you understand how to solve the 5th problem on the back?”

“Which one?”

“The one that has ‘4 minus the square root of 5’ in the denominator.”

“What did you get for an answer?”

“I got 7/2, but then I tried again and got -1. So I’m sure I went wrong somewhere, but I don’t know where.”

Sugawara flipped through his workbook for his answer. “Hmm, I got 4/7 for that one. Let me see what you did,” Sugawara said as he stood up from the table. He walked around to the opposite side and took a seat right next to Daichi, leaning in close to take a look at Daichi’s rough work.

Daichi stiffened at the proximity and hoped the heat he felt on his cheeks wasn’t noticeable. Suga was doing it again, eyebrows all scrunched up as he went through Daichi’s work. At this distance, Daichi could see how long Suga’s dark eyelashes were, how they contrasted with his pale skin. Daichi was drawn to Sugawara’s warm hazel-brown eyes and wondered if he could see specs of other shades if he got close enough. His eyes flicked over to the beauty mark at the corner of Suga’s eye. There was nothing special about this mark, and yet for some reason Daichi always imagined placing kiss after kiss on it as he held Suga tightly. As he began to think about kissing, his eyes wandered lower to Sugawara’s lips. A soft shade of pink and in full pout from concentrating. Lord have mercy on his soul.

“Ah!” Suga’s outburst startled Daichi. “Here’s where you went wrong. You didn’t multiply the conjugate correctly.”

“I-I didn’t?”

“Yeah, see that’s supposed to be an addition sign, so then…” Sugawara continued to explain how to solve the problem, but Daichi was too distracted to listen. Suga had leaned in closer, his chest pressing up against Daichi’s arm. The smell of Suga’s shampoo tickled his nose making it extremely difficult to concentrate. Keep it together, Daichi. Now is not the time to be gay for your best friend.

“And then you end up with 4/7. Got it?”

“Uh…yes?”

“Daichi, were you even listening to me?”

“…Yes?”

“Daichi.”

“If you know the answer to your own question, why are you asking?”

“Why are you asking people to help you with your math homework but then you don’t even listen to them?”

“…Touché.”

“Is there something that’s bothering you Daichi?” Sugawara’s face changed to one of concern.

You. “No, of course not. What makes you think that?”

“‘Cause you’re getting distracted so easily. You know if something is wrong, you can tell me right?”

Not exactly, not this time. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just…tired,” Daichi lamely finished. He was never a quick thinker under pressure.

“Tired?”

“Uh, yeah. I um…had trouble falling asleep last night so I didn’t get much sleep.” Hopefully that was sufficient enough for an answer to make Suga stop pressing the issue.

“Now that you mention it, it does look like you’re tired.” Daichi internally breathed a sigh of relief, but it was a moment too soon. “Are you getting bags under your eyes?” Sugawara continued. He reached out his hand to hold the side of Daichi’s face and leaned in closer to Daichi.

The heat returned to Daichi’s cheeks as his heart thumped like a mad man. He leaned back and put up his hands in surrender.  “I-i-i-is that so? I’ll-I’ll just g-g-go check in the mirror. M-maybe some cold water will help wake me up,” Daichi stuttered. He swiftly rose from the floor and headed towards the exit.

Daichi knew he left the room in an obvious hurry, but he had to get out of there. There was only so much Sugawara Koushi that his adolescent mind could handle. He reached the bathroom and locked the door behind him, clutching the sink for support as he took deep breaths. Daichi looked at himself in the mirror and saw how bright pink his cheeks were. He couldn’t tell if it was from his mad dash to the bathroom or from Suga. Probably Suga…definitely Suga.

How could one person have so much of an affect on him? Daichi didn’t know and it didn’t help that he had nothing to reference. He had never felt so strongly about someone before and it was a little nerve-wracking. But at the same time, he wouldn’t give up these feelings for Suga for anything. Dare he say it? Sugawara was possibly (most certainly) his first love.

The racing of his heart from Suga rivaled the thrill he got from playing volleyball. It’s almost fitting that he realized his feelings as they stood on the court together. Sugawara had looked so fierce, eyes filled with determination that instantly turned to joy the moment their team earned a point. It was in that moment that Daichi knew he was captivated, which only lead to him falling in deeper with no escape. Did everyone feel this way when they were in love? Didn’t girls talk about this stuff in manga all the time? How do they cope with unrequited feelings when their crush is their best friend? Maybe this was something he should’ve googled a long time ago.

Before he returned to his room, Daichi splashed some cold water onto his face to reduce the redness. After inspecting his face for what he deemed an acceptable colour, he dried his face with a towel and left the bathroom. He walked back slowly to his room, buying himself some more time for his mind to catch up with his feet. He stopped just outside his bedroom door, making no movement to head inside. He took one last breath to steel his mind before opening it, only to find that Sugawara had decided to take a nap.

Daichi sat back down at the table to get a good look at Sugawara. Suga had folded his arms to use as a makeshift pillow on the table they were just using. His body rhythmically rose and fell to the tempo of his breathing, creating an air of serenity. The bangs of his ashen hair framed his face and gently fluttered from the breeze that came in from the open window. His lips were slightly parted, making them appear more plump and kissable (if that was even possible). The earlier look of concern was nowhere to be found, replaced with a face full of calm and tranquillity. There was no way Daichi could look away, even if he wanted to.

Daichi placed an elbow on the table and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He continued to watch Suga sleep, a contented smile creeping onto his face. He reached out to lightly poke at Sugawara’s beauty mark. Nothing happened the first time, so Daichi fared another poke. This time, Suga’s nose scrunched up and he gently shook his head to try and escape Daichi’s finger. All too soon Sugawara’s face went back to normal and he returned to sleeping peacefully. Daichi quietly chuckled to avoid waking Suga up. Even in his sleep, Suga was cuter than Daichi could even fathom.

“Suki da yo,” Daichi whispered.

Just then, he heard the front door to the house open. “Daichi?” his mother called out. “Can you help me with the groceries?”

“I’ll be right there,” he called back. He stood up and left his room to make his way downstairs. He felt somewhat lighter being able to acknowledge his feelings out loud.

If Daichi had turned around to look behind him, he might’ve seen the pink tinge to Suga’s ears and Suga hide the rest of his reddening face in his arms. If he had listened carefully enough, he might’ve caught the quiet, “I like you too,” as well.