#cause i want this king toxic and hot in the best way possible.

[forlornprodigy]

/ if you've been wondering where i've been.... i binged watched the hobbit. i have a major crush on thranduil. and legolas. mostly thranduil.

[agent-cupcake]

You know, you've written a lot of your thoughts/hcs/etc on how various characters would behave as yanderes and so on, but I've never seen you talk about yandere readers before and I feel like that's an interesting subject to consider? Especially for 3H - you have a treasure trove of damaged boys to attract obsessiveness from girls who are convinced they are the ONLY one for them and it's their duty to drive away competition/threats/anyone they want.

Okay it's time to be toxic. I’m not going to go for all the guys, just the ones who immediately came to mind.

Dimitri: I joke quite often that I would be yandere for Dimitri. It all started when I brought up killing the girl he danced with at the White Heron Ball and quite frankly it's only spiraled from there because doesn't the Savior King Dimitri deserve to be adored and worshipped? Doesn't he deserve someone who wants the best for him and only him? Doesn’t it only make sense for him to be with someone who understands his mental issues and is willing to offer him unconditional support and patience? Doesn't he need someone with unwavering loyalty who will do anything no matter what the cost for his sake? It'd be so easy too because he's super dependent, desperate for affection, and clueless so if you just nourish those traits and constantly downplay his discomfort/suspicion of you driving away anybody who you feel is a threat by saying that this is how relationships just are, that it's just because you love him so much, that you're just looking out for him, what's he gonna do? It's not like he'd have any solid basis for knowing how relationships are supposed to be. Besides if he gets too upset you can threaten to leave him just like his mother did, I'm sure that would work to get him back in your arms (where he belongs). Yeah, that’s a little fucked up but it would be so much worse for both of you in the long run if you were apart. Being too aggressive or overt about your obsession would definitely make Dimitri wise up so it'd be better to go with love bombing. This would be good because it really lets you prove your devotion to Dimitri and makes it easier for him to just laugh off and excuse your disturbingly possessive behavior. His friends would be potentially problematic, but they're not always around and Dimitri's private enough that he probably wouldn't volunteer information about you to them. If you told him that it made you very upset and uncomfortable when he was friendly with the girls from his class, he’d most likely stop for your sake. Bonus round, have his babies. What is he going to do, abandon the mother of his children? Dimitri?!? No way. Of course he wouldn’t do anything to risk breaking his family, but neither would you! After all, this is all because you know Dimitri better than anyone which means that only you can love him.

Sylvain: Sylvain being manipulative and cheating on you after you try and prove your love to him through conventional means causing you to snap and kill hurt the girls, throw his lies back in his face, and prove that you're the only girl for him by preying on his emotional trauma with women is really something to consider. Why try to resolve toxic situations with love, compassion, and open communication when you can use blood and abuse to keep him with you? Play the part, be snarky, witty, flirty, be super hot and cold to keep him intrigued, give him the best fuck he's ever had, really show him that you don't care about his Crest, you just want to love possess him. Maybe even do the whole "I don't care who you're with, we both know you belong to me" to really engage him in those super fun mind games. Make everyone else acknowledge that you're the perfect girl for him, get them all to vilify him for continuing to be such a womanizer and breaking your heart. But, like, why stop there? Encourage him to retaliate, to be mad at you. Tease him for being so disgusted and angry at you when all you want, all you've ever wanted, was for your hearts to beat as one and then later act confused because of course you wouldn’t make light of his feelings like that, that’s horrible. All you want, all you’ve ever wanted, was for him to acknowledge that your adoration for him is true. Really break him until he gives you the whole “I’ll let you chain me up so I never even look at another girl” schtick. This might seem awful, but so is he! Reform can be difficult and if he’s going to be happy, he has to be made to understand why his behavior was so bad and the consequences of it. Because it’s not like you’d act like this if you had any other choice, it’s not like you’d continue once the two of you were truly together, of course you wouldn’t treat him so cruelly once he vowed himself to you and only you. And, really, I think it’d be a lot easier once he understood that and you got to prove your love to him through raw, unadulterated affection. Spend every day adding onto the list of why you love your Sylvain. 

Claude: Claude being more than aware of the ole' saying "don't stick your dick in crazy" and then doing it anyway because he has a proclivity for the fiery, forbidden, and oh-so temping call of danger would be the perfect set up for a very bad predicament. You’d have to play some mind games to really convince him that he’s the one seeking you out, he’s the one who’s got it bad, he’s the one who wants to have you. In other words, you’d have to give him a challenge. But, you know, if it’s a game, you’d have to play back because you’re doing this for him, because you love him, because you want him to realize that he loves you, too (Uno reverse Claude’s yandere behaviors, basically) so obviously you’d have to eliminate any obstacles and taking out anybody who could be a potential threat. Get him to open up about his dreams, his past, his feelings. As it goes with basically all of these affection-starved men, make him feel loved for who he is. You know, if you were really good, you could probably even get him to give up on everything else for your sake. I mean, I loathe the ending but he does that for Lysithea. Pull a Tangled on Claude and make him believe that you’re his new dream as he mostly certainly is yours.

Felix: Sweet Felix. So oblivious but so difficult. A man who would provide the ultimate and most dangerous yan rival of them all: the thrill of the fight. In a lot of ways, I think he’d be like Dimitri. Mostly just because he’s so dense when it comes to love of any kind. But he’s also not as emotionally desperate or dependent so you wouldn’t really be able to use that against him. The similarities come from Felix’s equal amount of inexperience with romance which opens up a lot of possibilities for you convincing him that certain behaviors are normal. You can even bring up how his cold emotional state (something I believe he’s insecure about) is what forces you to be so overbearing, how badly it hurts you.  You don’t necessarily mean to be so cloying but you’re so afraid of losing someone else you love so much (another insecurity of his). After all, there is nobody in the entire world who is like him, Felix Hugo Fraldarius, (three for three with his insecurities) and how irreplaceable and precious he is to you. These examples are kind of “soft” when it comes to using his insecurities against him, but you could go further with them assuming you were sure that it wouldn’t drive him away. Not knowing and having to work on assumption would always be a pretty big reason to control yourself in how you went about manipulating him because Felix is stubborn and prideful and pushing him too far would only hurt the both of you. It’s actually kind of funny because as opposed to the traditional yan mindset, it would be in your best interest to get Felix to form relationship bonds with others (but definitely not any of the girls he’s so popular with) because that would be a bargaining chip when convincing him to stay with you.

Ferdinand von Aegir: Ferdinand is, honestly, so easy for this. Like, I feel as if I don’t even need to talk about the details. You show him some affection and he’s yours. Bury him in love and praise. Tell him that it makes you unhappy when he talks to other girls or prioritizes his work over you and then reward him with boundless warmth and devotion because of course he would bend over backwards to make you happy. He just wants to be needed and treasured, to love and be loved. He’s already got the poetry and the ring and of course he wouldn’t mind getting married right away it’s true love, why would you wait?

Yuri: Yuribird is the forbidden darling. You’d need to be running on 100% love because he’d sniff out and ditch you at even the smallest whiff of deliberate obsession. But you know what he wants? More-so than the other guys, in some ways. He wants to be known and loved for who he is. In the face of genuine affection, he doesn’t stand a chance. Still, you’d have to be measured about this stuff. If you were jealous and got rid of your rivals yourself, Yuri would be disgusted and leave you. And you can’t hide that sort of thing from him, either. You’d have to go all in on the manipulation but only in the most honest way possible, that’s the only way past his defenses. Get him to prioritize your feelings first so he feels guilty talking to people or acting in ways that upset you. Reward him for putting you above everyone else. Constantly remind him that you’re the only one who knows and understands him, who loves him for who he is. Get him so emotionally fucked that even if his big brain logic is telling him that you’re toxic and horrible, he can’t stand the thought of being without you. He’d give up crime, it’s not like he even particularly likes it. Set up the perfect life for him, something domestic and sweet and warm, something he’s never had worries he doesn’t deserve, something that keeps him away from others. The goddess only knows how much he deserves a happy dream for once, and you’re the only one who can understand and provide that for him.

[persepholline]

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

[ginmo]

How do you think the Bran and Jaime’s meeting will go in the books? I’ve read theories guessing he might end up as King Bran’s Hand, meta where the writers want him to become a mentor or father figure to the Starks in a full circle of his redemption arc, while others don’t want or think he should be involved with the Starks long-term either because of his and his family’s sins against the Starks or because they view his arc as reclamation rather than redemption or atonement. 1/2

This is what GRRM said about Bran and exploring time. 

“It's an obscenity to go into somebody's mind. So Bran may be responsible for Hodor's simplicity, due to going into his mind so powerfully that it rippled back through time. The explanation of Bran's powers, the whole questions of time and causality - can we affect the past? Is time a river you can only sail one way or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop into it? These are issues I want to explore in the book, but it's harder to explain in a show.” - Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon

Hodor’s name reveal is neat and all, but Bran’s power to manipulate the past doesn't exist just so we can randomly learn Hodor’s pointless name origin. That would be ridiculous unless the scene was used to introduce that ability. Hodor’s name reveal is important to the narrative, and I believe its purpose is to set up a much bigger event/reveal involved around Bran interfering with the past, not just observing it. I’m pretty sure GRRM was hint-hinting to D&D about this, which is why he told them about the random ass Hodor scene that was already written, thinking it would be obvious what that means for the overall plot and letting them run with it but………………..

Because of this, I think it’s possible Bran brought himself to where he is. 

IF Bran isn’t involved in The Push, then he could have been involved with Jaime killing the Mad King. I kinda like the idea of Bran playing into Aerys’ madness, causing him to stock up on wildfire around the city, because then the wildfire would be an essential future plot element for a bigger purpose towards the end of the series and it would be a question of time, “a river you can only sail one way, or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop it,” but for the entire series. (And, as someone with a passion in astrophysics, I’m a sucker for discussions around time. BUTTHAT’SJUSTME) 

Do I totally subscribe to this theory? Eh. I’m still not convinced Bran is King of All of Westeros for reasons, but I’m open-minded. I DO think Jaime is surviving the series, for reasonsssss, so I’m putting that disclaimer out there right now. I will never claim with absolute confidence that he is surviving though because, I mean, nobody fucking knows, and there’s an argument for death. I’m just going off of narrative clues that I perceive to be clues, and taking other character arcs into consideration. After literally drawing up a table because I’m weird, the column for Survive has more evidence and justification than the column for Dies, so that’s why I lean the way I lean. SO with that being said, I think it’s possible he has more of a political future.

IF this is what GRRM is writing, Jaime would still be responsible for pushing him, of course, but future Bran would want to be pushed. He'd be setting everything in motion to create the butterfly effect that makes it happen. 

Even if that isn’t what GRRM had intended with exploring time, it’s highly likely Bran’s character development is taking him down a path of apathy over it, meaning he wouldn’t be needing Jaime to do something for the purpose of redemption for him. 

Speaking of Redemption…

-deep breath-

I’m going to go off on this a bit because it IS relevant, I swear. 

“Limits of redemption” is probably the biggest wtf interpretation fandom has when it comes to what GRRM actually said. I’ll try not to go off on it too much here but -

Interviewer: Both Jaime and Cersei are clearly despicable in those moments. Later, though, we see a more humane side of Jaime when he rescues a woman, who had been an enemy, from rape. All of a sudden we don’t know what to feel about Jaime.

GRRM: One of the things I wanted to explore with Jaime, and with so many of the characters, is the whole issue of redemption. When can we be redeemed? Is redemption even possible? I don’t have an answer. But when do we forgive people? [...]  I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there is no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then?  [x]

I bolded “we” from the interviewer, because it gives context to GRRM’s answer with “we” being the readers, not the characters or Jaime himself. (I think there’s another interview where he says “limits of redemption” but it’s in the same context. I could be wrong but I SWEAR I heard it. Anyway…) 

“I kind of tried to ask, ‘do you think he’s changed?’ to get him to talk about Jaime’s redemption arc, so he said something like he wanted to explore the concept of forgiveness and whether it’s possible to be forgiven for doing such horrible things, and that his goal was to ask the question, not give an answer.” [x]

Fandom thinks this is the characters giving Jaime forgiveness, and maybe there will be a small element of that in the books, but the question is for the readers. No, Jaime is not actively seeking redemption from people. His redemption is for himself, through living his best life, by rediscovering the person he used to be. Yes He Will Be Redeemed and No He Will Fail assume redemption is some arbitrary checklist determined by One Big Act, and they’re answers to a question GRRM doesn’t want to give an answer to. 

The purpose of Jaime’s POVs is to ask the readers, and the most obvious moment of this was the bath scene. GRRM smacks us over the head with the Aerys confession, and then as we’re introduced to more and more of his POV chapters, he slowly chips away at the Jaime illusion that was intentionally established the moment he pushed one of the perceived child protagonists out of a window. It’s brilliant, and I’m sorry GRRM that a large chunk of your fandom is too dense to get it. How frustrating lol. I’ll be insulted for him. (I’m legit wondering if his recent angsty tweets about grey and redemption about real life stem from a concern that his fandom won’t understand the point of the series.) 

To give you an idea of where these people are coming from, at least one BNF idiot on Twitter believes redemption hasn’t been explored with Jaime yet. 

But uh… 

GRRM mentioned his intent is to “explore redemption” after delivering Jaime POVs, because... it’s... not a spoiler… he’s already exploring redemption, because the question is being asked TO US. We were supposed to have an “oh shit” moment, realizing this is more complex than the surface level, biased perspective we were delivered at the beginning of the story. “Maybe Westeros and my protagonist have it wrong.” -cough- the people in the village in BatB -cough- 

No matter how much fandom likes to pretend they love GRRM for pushing the boundaries of fantasy, they secretly fucking hate it. They love to be comfortable, dude. That’s why they read this series as if it’s a clear cut Good vs. Evil, because a) ego and b) that’s easy. If GRRM was writing Jaime as doing everything with ill intent then…. his… question isn’t being asked. They think everything he does right now is selfish and Bad, so they’re waiting. They want it spoon fed to them. They want classic fantasy. They want Starks = Good, Lannisters = Bad. 

But… if the author sees Jaime’s actions as grey and complex, enough to ask the question to the readers if he’s redeemed in their eyes or not, then he’s not going to write an endgame that punishes the character for narrative payoff, because he doesn’t see his actions as “sins” or “crimes” in the same way that these people are. Once upon a time, a person on tumblr reblogged one of my posts and said that Jaime will rape Cersei before he kills himself and that will be his endgame. But GRRM doesn’t view Jaime as a rapist, so he’s not going to write Jaime as a rapist. I’m bringing that up, because it’s the same phenomenon. People can ignore authorial intent all they want, but NOT when it comes to predicting narrative trajectory. The general fandom is terrible at that lol. 

The exploration of redemption for Jaime comes in the form of confronting his disillusioned self and everything attached to it. Before someone thinks, “lolllll he isn’t disillusioned” 

 “he actually was a very idealistic young man who was disillusioned by life” [x]

Jaime’s redemption is the path of returning to that idealistic man for himself. It’s by feeling ashamed of the things he’s done to hide his love for Cersei. It’s by gaining independence and detaching from the toxic relationship that caused a mess outside of them. It’s by wanting to be like the knights he admired in his youth, and like the woman warrior that inspired him. 

So when I think about narrative payoff for Jaime, I don’t see it framed as him being “punished” for actions viewed as “crimes,” when GRRM clearly established those “crimes” as complicated and grey with a character already going through some positive development, and especially when the characters judging are written to be flawed as well.

On the other side, having him be “punished” by succumbing to hatred and anger is for sure giving an answer (this just… -sits on hands- don’t even get me started on THIS fucking hot take). That answer would be a clear, solid, “No, no matter how hard he tries to turn his life around, he can’t be redeemed, because he’s a hateful, angry, fucked up person.” I’ve legit seen people think “limits of redemption” is a boundary of redemption drawn in the sand that Jaime is walking towards but he won’t be able to cross it. I-......................... 

And what’s even the point of his handchop if scenario number 2 happens?  

“And Jaime, losing a hand, losing the very thing he defined himself on is crucial to where I think I want to go with the character. And he questions what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost that.” - GRRM [x]

(I’m going to put this quote in every post sorry not sorry) 

So he’s going to take Jaime on this big identity journey just for him to be like “lol nah he isn’t that” …?? That makes the loss of his hand meaningless, not “crucial.” Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand if he’s bringing him back to the beginning? Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand to make himself realize he’s hateful and a failure and murder Cersei and then himself? No. He could have still met Brienne and been inspired by her knightly ways, attempted to live a better life, found out about Cersei’s affairs, etc. He doesn’t need to lose his hand to reach a point of fucking murder/suicide lmao fuck (not saying he’ll do that but I KNOW people are thinking it). 

The loss of his hand is “crucial,” because GRRM has bigger endgame plans for him in the form of politics, and the journey to believably get there requires the forced loss of his warrior identity and everything that the hand symbolized. 

AS FOR THE ACTUAL HAND THEORY...

Even though I’m undecided on it, I CAN see it IF Bran is King. I get it. Jaime’s missing his right Hand, he becomes the Hand to the kid he pushed out the window. Hardy har har. I understand how that would be pleasing.

And we all know GRRM said something about how the best ones for power are the ones who don’t want it…  

And… this suspicious scene at the very beginning of the series… 

“You should be the Hand.” 

“Gods forbid,” a man’s voice replied lazily. “It’s not an honor I’d want. There’s far too much work involved.” 

Bran hung, listening, suddenly afraid to go on. -AGOT

BUT IF that happens, it wouldn’t be there as some sort of #atonement #forredemption. It would be there because of Jaime’s growth as a character after developing into a political player, after asking himself, “what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost [the swordhand]?” He’s no longer the warrior he once was. He dislikes any sort of political position, because he feels most alive with a sword in his hand. But that was Warrior Jaime, and the point of “what do you make of yourself after you’ve lost that” is Jaime going down a different path after discovering that Warrior Jaime has died. I mean, he’d never be actively seeking power and thinking it’s the best career ever, like he’d probably be all -sighhhhhhh- about it, but he’d be doing the responsible thing and what’s necessary. He’d make himself useful in a new way. 

“The Warrior had been Jaime’s god since he was old enough to hold a sword. Other men might be fathers, sons, husbands, but never Jaime Lannister, whose sword was as golden as his hair. He was a warrior, and that was all he would ever be.” - AFFC (Do I really need to make a post about how GRRM foreshadows? Mr. Bran: “I never fall”...?)

Jaime losing his hand was the narrative consequence for The Push, making all of his development post handchop -ALL OF HIS POVS- the redemption theme. It was the hand that pushed Bran, fucked his twin, killed his king, swung the sword against fandom’s Precious Protagonists… 

“You ought to be pleased. I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.” - AFFC

So if Jaime becomes his Hand, it would be the two characters meeting in the middle, not Jaime groveling at his feet, begging for forgiveness, framed as a punishment for sins - “sins” that fandom views as “sins” that need narrative payoff, because they don’t understand intent. 

[kationella]

To Be A Sun

This is me ranting about the symbolism of the Sun Arcana characters in Persona. Ok, thanks.

As of Persona 5, our Sun characters have been Tatsuya Suou, Akinari Kamiki, Yumi Ozawa, Ayane Matsunaga, Sho Minazuki and Toranosuke Yoshida. Unlike the Justice characters, the Suns seem to be completely different characters with no similarities. At least, at first glance.

The themes of this rant will be the following:

1. Loyalty

2. Solar Eclipse

3. Center of the Solar System

4. Supernova

5. So...

Loyalty

I will begin with a trait that the Suns have in common: Loyalty; although they don't have the same brand. Whether its loyalty for a certain person or their personal ideals, the Suns will stick by them to the end of times.

Coincidentally, this also means that it will be extremely difficult to change their mind about the object of their loyalty. Stubborness is a side effect of this.

Let's review.

Tatsuya's loyalty lies with his friends, especially Maya and Jun. The latter tried to kill him and Tatsuya forgave him the same day. Not to mention that Tatsuya stubbornly clinged at the memory of his friends even though it meant the possible destruction of Earth.

Though we meet Akinari near the end of his life, we get a glimpse of his loyalty to the protagonist in the way he was always waiting for him each Sunday afternoon and how he strived to say goodbye to the protag even after his death.

Yumi's loyalty is towards her mother, getting angry at her father on her behalf and forsaking her role in the school play to help her.

Ayane is an example of the other type of loyalty; the one dedicated to their ideals and beliefs. Even though she develops it late in her Social Link, she learns to stick by what she wants for herself.

Meanwhile, Sho and Minazuki are devoted to one another. The entire plot of P4AU is them trying to be alone together.

Old Man Tora shows the two types of loyalty. The first one towards his firm ideals and the other one towards the people he means to serve. This is what makes him the only politician I believe in.

A Sun Arcana is one of the best friends you could ever get. The ride or die type of friend. The problem with this is that, in their effort to stick by their object of loyalty, they forget to take care of themselves. It would be extremely dangerous for them to align their loyalty with a toxic person or dangerous belief. More on this later.

The Suns need to find their inner source of happiness so they can properly shine. Something no outside force can take away. And talking about external threats...

Solar Eclipse

The Suns already start with a distinct shine of their own. Something they were born with. However, when we met them there is always one external influence that blocks their sunlight.

And so, we have the Solar Eclipse effect, where a character from the Sun Arcana feels inadequate due to factors outside their control, not realizing they are perfect the way they are.

It's common for a Sun to have a certain individual related to those problems who serves as their blocker.

Whether it's some dimensional game you're a piece of (Nyarlathotep and Philemon), your parents' dispute (Yumi's father), a lost opportunity to show your worth (Original Trombone Player), experiments made on you (Ikutsuki) or a scandal you were wrongly accused of (Kuromoto).

The only one without a certain person would be Akinari, but to be fair it's hard to blame someone else for a genetic terminal illness. Ironically, his last days were spent talking with someone who had a piece of Death inside him. Who knows. Maybe if Akinari had known that Minato was related to Death itself...

Especially if we consider that almost all of the Suns had an amiable relationship with their blocker at one point or another.

Philemon was Tatsuya's guide through his journey.

Yumi felt gratitude towards her father for bringing her to the world.

Ayane did return the trombone solo to the original player.

Ikutsuki was the closest thing Sho had to a father figure.

Kuromoto was Yoshida's old mentor.

Once that blocker moved on with their fate, the Suns started to shine again. And what to do now that the heavens are their own again?

Center of the Solar System

The most basic fact about the Sun (besides the fact that it's hot) it's that it is the center of the Solar System. Every other planet rotates around them. The Sun stays firm, with a shinning light for the rest of the system.

In the same way as that, the Sun Arcana characters have the potential of becoming leaders and the protagonists of their own stories, setting an example for the rest of their acquaintances.

Tatsuya is the most obvious example. He is the main protagonist of his own game. Nothing to say that isn't already known.

Akinari writes a storybook that would become the inspiration of a new generation of children, if Nanako's love for it is anything to go by.

The whole point of theatre is to lead the audience through a story and create emotions in them through a character. Something Yumi excels at.

Ayane's Social Link is about being more selfish and grasping the opportunities presented to her.

Yoshida is the most literal example, being a politician and all.

Sho still has to find that *something* that will end up making him an example to others but he is on the way.

A fully developed Sun will be able to be a charismatic leader, who earns the loyalty of their team through kindness and generosity. Sunlight is meant to help others see the world around them, in the same way Suns will help others see their potential and own inspiration. You just can't take your eyes off them since you literally gravitate towards them.

This is the main point that separates a Sun from a Star. Those with the Star Arcana need to learn they can shine brightly for themselves, while the Suns learn that they can shine for others as well. They all start with low self-esteem, but their pride will keep developing as time goes on.

Suns have a natural talent for initiative. Through their stories we helped them realize their own potential but now its up to them to do the rest.

Supernova

As we all know, fire needs fuel to burn, but what happens when you allow your inner fire to burn you from the inside out and leave nothing behind?

You get the case of King Leo, the Reverse Sun.

So far we have only one Reverse Sun character but we can determine a lot from him. Basically, Reverse Arcanas are the "corrupt" version of their original personalities, so what happens when a Sun becomes corrupted? Well...

See, King Leo or Sudou fits all the criteria that defines a Sun.

He is extremely loyal to both Kashihara and Joker. However, this loyalty only brought him misery when both abandoned him. Sudou poured so much in them that when they disappeared, he had nothing left.

Sudou thought his Solar Eclipse was caused by Tatsuya and Maya, when in reality it came to be thanks to Nyarlathotep and his father. A life of hallucinations and misery caused by these two.

Sudou's position as an executive in the Masked Circle shows his leadership aptitude and potential to become the center of his own system.

Sudou spent so much time eclipsed that, in his desire to shine as bright as he could to break free, he ended up burning everything in his path. He literally exploded in a fiery rage and collapsed.

At that point it became mercy for Tatsuya to kill him.

His is a sad case, especially when comparing him to the other Suns and realizing his lost potential.

A similar case outside of Persona where the "Inner Fire Burns All" applies would be Azula from Avatar. Now that I think about it, she would make a good Reverse Sun Arcana... hmm.

So...

The Sun Arcana is such an interesting card. By all accounts, it symbolizes happiness and joy. A common mistake is to think these are given. No, a true Sun Arcana *fights* to achieve that happy ending. Once they reach it, their victory will be the sweetest of all.

Celestial Arcanas in general have the tendency to be a guiding light to everyone else (although some of them do it unintentionally).

There is also the matter of the writing parallels between the Suns and their Moon counterparts, but that is a theme for another time.

And now you'll ask me: "Kationella, what was the point of this analysis?"

Well, it all comes down to one question that has been plaguing me for days:

Would it be ironic for Suns to wear sunglasses?

[strvngcrs]

『 adam brody. forty. cis male. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that DANIEL ABRAMS from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BROODING & -EVASIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool HORROR AUTHOR and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +DEBONAIR & +ELOQUENT. i hope i see them around again! 

classically rolls in ridiculously late bc i forgot i had to work last night & then proceeded to sleep in today wooo !!  good afternoon ghouls, it’s ya girl maia, finally here to deliver the definition of hot mess with good intentions.

GENERAL

FULL NAME.    daniel elijah abrams.

NICKNAMES.    dan, danny.

AGE & BIRTHDATE.    40 years old ; may 4, 1980.

GENDER & PRONOUNS.    cis male ; he/him.

ORIENTATION.    heterosexual.

MARITAL STATUS.    estranged.

RELIGION.    jewish ( non-practicing ).

OCCUPATION.    horror author.

INSPIRATION.     bill denbrough ( it ), donnie darko ( donnie darko ), lucas scott ( one tree hill ), stephen king.

PHYSICAL

HAIR COLOUR.    black.

EYE COLOUR.    dark brown.

BUILD.    athletic.

MARKS.     freckles scarcely spread across his entire body.

TATTOOS.    none.

PIERCINGS.    none.

HEIGHT.    5'11".

FACECLAIM.    adam brody.

PERSONALITY

ZODIAC.    taurus.

ALIGNMENT.    chaotic neutral.

HOGWARTS.    ravenclaw.

LABEL.    the arcane.

POSITIVE TRAITS.    cheeky, debonair, driven, eloquent, resilient, solicitous.

NEGATIVE TRAITS.    brooding, evasive, inquisitive, sarcastic, stoic, stubborn.

HOBBIES.    smokes like a chimney while writing until he forgets what day of the week it is, dabbles in hunting & fishing (thanks @ his dad), labels all crime / thriller genres as ‘predictable’ but continues to watch them, obsesses over & relentlessly criticizes his own work, drinks heavily & passionately plays moonlight sonata or fur elise as if he’s betoven’s disciple.

BACKGROUND

PLACE OF BIRTH.    california.

CURRENT RESIDENCE.    mapleview, north carolina.

NATIONALITY.    american.

ETHNICITY.    ashkenazi jewish.

PARENTS.   judith miller & mr abrams.

SIBLINGS.    mia miller.

BIRTH ORDER.    eldest.

CHILDREN.    penelope abrams.

EDUCATION.     university of california, los angeles; bachelor of arts in english.

LANGUAGES.    english, some spanish & french.

HISTORY

EARLY LIFE.    born to THE judith miller and some newspaper editor, daniel was raised by the latter and notoriously abandoned by the former. well, not completely abandoned - there’s an old shoebox containing a few letters as proof - but that was the only source of communication in their otherwise absent relationship. while little danny boy didn’t fully understand why he couldn’t see his mother, he sought out an alternative solution by watching her movies. his father wasn’t aware, at first, and dan created this extravagant fantasy of the person he thought she was based on the roles she played. however, once papa abrams found out his son was watching these movies (which were probably not fit for children in the first place lmao oop), he begrudgingly revealed the bitter truth. being forced to come to terms with the fact that his own mother willingly abandoned him with his father, daniel didn’t fully understand what it meant; he couldn’t properly process why. the hurt of absent mother was expressed more out of anger, feeling as though there must have been something wrong with him. there were fewer and fewer letters sent to judith until he gave up altogether and thus, dan’s out of control behavior was born.

TEENAGE FEVER.    SUICIDE MENTION TW.  he struggled in school. his emotions betrayed him. instead of relishing a happy childhood, daniel found himself pushing everyone away, getting into fights, sneaking out late at night to run around the city streets with his friends and get into all sorts of trouble with them. he couldn’t count on his hands how many times the police picked him up and brought him to his dad’s doorstep. it only got worse once one of his best friends was found dead, written off as a suicide, though it didn’t add up in dan’s eyes and seemed so much more sinister. the young man was nearly deemed to be a lost cause, until he discovered his passion for writing. 

                                  language arts or literature was the last thing anyone would ever think to group with daniel abrams. but his english teacher noticed how well he could articulate his thoughts and feelings on paper, and submitted one of his pieces to a writing contest, which earned dan the win and a cash prize. bewildered by a talent he hadn’t even realized was in him, daniel embraced it. he started writing in a journal ( which he kept safely tucked away beneath the mattress of his bed ), documenting every feeling and thought as a way to express his emotions in a more productive manner. this talent earned him a full ride scholarship to ucla with a major in literature and plans of diving into some sort or creative writing career or perhaps becoming an english teacher, to follow in the footsteps of his high school teacher who he came to idolize.

                                  mere days into his freshman year, however, his high school sweetheart showed up in the middle of the night at his dorm with a positive pregnancy test. it was then the chaotic world as he knew it turned a new leaf, revealing a silver lining in the form of their daughter, penelope, who daniel hadn’t a clue, just yet, would save him. and so a shotgun wedding was quickly planned around the pair, both families either completely supportive or in utter disbelief. it was quick, it was cheap(ish), and it was stressful as all heck. but they were young, and in love, and were looking forward to starting a family together, despite it being a little earlier than initially planned.

“ADULT”HOOD.    fast forward five years, and they’re signing divorce papers. fortunately, it wasn’t messy. the two had simply grown apart as they matured in their respective ways, and remaining together was only causing a rift to develop between the two. the last thing they wanted, for the sake of their daughter, was built up resentment to tear the little family apart. his wife, who daniel initially thought to be the love of his life, blossomed into an absolute goddess; she was ambitious and knew exactly what she wanted. daniel, on the other hand, was still somewhat caught up in his ‘bad boy’ habits of drinking excessively and his career was still pretty up in the air. the two just didn’t compliment each others’ lifestyles anymore.

                                   daniel moved out but remained in california, settling for a bachelor’s apartment where he was able to have penelope every weekend. during this time, he finally cracked down and worked on finishing a novel he’d started years prior. within a year, he found a publisher who took interest in his grotesque works, and by the time daniel was twenty seven, his first bestseller hit the shelves, changing his life for the better with the ability to provide for his daughter without stress of landing another odd job ever again.

                                   as his fame increased, so did his desire to slink back into the shadows away from the limelight. at first, he enjoyed the wholesome book signings by day and grungy celebratory benders by night. but it grew old pretty fast and he certainly didn’t want to end up as another washed up shmuck. so, on a whim, daniel decided to move out of california completely, removing himself from the toxic lifestyle he’d grown accustomed to and shacking up on a beautiful piece of land in the rocky mountains of north carolina. the serenity and scenery certainly aided in his inspiration, as well as his unacknowledged lowkey addictions slowly being rehabilitated from his bloodstream.

OLD YELLER.    now, in his utmost prime at forty years old, he’s written numerous cult classics, a few of which have successful movie adaptations. he was lucky enough to land himself in a second marriage, though.... that one is now deteriorating as well because he literally doesn’t know how to maintain a healthy relationship. he received full custody of his daughter when she was sixteen, under the unfortunate circumstance of her mother’s untimely death. although they’d been separated for nearly twenty years, daniel was still very much affected by the loss, more so empathetically for penelope. he’s still hooked on the drink, though he’s definitely calmed down quite a bit from when he was a young buck. basically a messy, depressy old soul who uses sarcasm to deflect his true feelings.

CONNECTIONS

ESTRANGED WIFE.    first marriage was a bust, and the second is turning out to be no better. they haven’t hit rock bottom just yet, in his opinion (which would be finalizing a divorce lmao), and he’s unsure if they should work things out or not but also really.......doesn’t wanna go through the process of another divorce. plus he likes her and deep down adores their bickering. the reason(s) why things started falling apart between them can be discussed of course. lowkey debating on whippin this up as a big official wc but.... if anybody already here would like to snag it, i would 100% mclove it.

COLLABORATORS.    literally anyone he’s worked with over the years, whether they be fellow authors, publishers/publicists, journalists, screenplay writers, etc. yeehooo the possibilities are endless !!

FOLLOWERS.    anyone hooked on his books, whether devout fans from his early beginnings or people who newly discovered his fictional writings.

FORMER CLASSMATES.    could be from high school or university, but he was in california for the better part of his life aka not a mapleview native. former friends to foes & anything in between. dan’s that one kid who spiked the punch bowl at all the dances and years later probably snuck in party favors to snort off the bathroom sink during their high school reunion lmao whew !!

ANYTHING.    literally anything. i’m my groggy state of mind on my lack of creativity rn so please, i’m beggin. if daniel can enrich your characters’ lives in any way, shape, or form, hit me up and we’ll hatch a plan.

[orbitariums]

What, You Didn’t Miss me?

for venusbarnes 5k challenge!! i'm gonna be doing a bunch of these but i just decided i wanted to write something different than what i usually lean towards for this :)

i also wrote a loki imagine called idoru! very angsty but cute :)

#6:  “what, you didn’t miss me? i’m hurt.”

reader is thor's rival/fling thing. you've fought & battled each other hundreds of times, but nothing can compare to the energy you two have. but you've gone a while without seeing him, and he's honestly relieved he doesn't have to put up with it anymore - until he sees you again. *reader's bi cuz she's that bitch, and kind of like valkyrie*

warning: toxic! (but it's really not that deep, considering they do b fighting a lot), fight scene!

also: i would listen to THIS playlist while reading this!!! i was listening while writing, made it so enjoyable.

    You were what they called a "wild child." Graceless, rebellious, brave to the point of stupidity. You were full of rage, a warmonger with no remorse. In your kingdom you were admired for your bravery and physical ability and looked down upon for your "unwomanly" tendencies and your recklessness. You weren't alone in this though - you had a group of women with you who operated as a team, all of them ostracized because of their resistance to submitting. Together, you were unstoppable.

     There was also Thor. He admired you for your brutal honesty, your unabashedly flirty demeanor, and for your fighting abilities. To him, you were like the lady version of him, only not so lady like, and much less cautious, if that was even possible. You were chaotic and wild in combat, and he knew this first-hand. Thor had been at the mercy of your rage many times, and you had seen the force of Mjolnir much too close for comfort. Sometimes you fought for a reason, other times you fought just because you felt like it. For as long as you could remember, Thor had always been your otherworldly enemy... rival was a better word for it.

     But perhaps the best part of your rivalry, besides the satisfaction of beating down the god of Thunder on the times you did win your battles (because, really, you did beat him sometimes, and it felt good), was the flirtatious nature that lay within it. You couldn't doubt that sparks flew when you and the god were together, even when fighting you found yourselves closer to each other than necessary. And outside of a fight, your titillating banter was enough to make heads turn-- tongues soaked with whiskey, hot breath against the other's neck, narrowed eyes matched with rosy lipped smirks that said: "you really wanna do this right now?", sarcastic and degrading humor. It was all a part of the program. Thor rotated women on a weekly basis, as did you with the women and men back on your kingdom, but the relationship he had with you was different.

    No one challenged him like you did, no one was snarky like you were - women joked about Thor submitting to them, but none of them had the power to actually manifest that, other than yourself. He liked that he wasn't exactly intimidated by you, but that you made your worth and your ability rather clear. He knew you weren't "easy" in a fight, and you wouldn't back down. For a while, you steered clear of Thor while you got your own life together. And for that while, it was quiet... too quiet. You were glad to be given a reason to stir things up again. And boy, was Thor in for a surprise.

    You smeared black liner on your waterline (stolen from a Walgreens on Midgard - you liked their makeup more, it was low quality and gave you a cheap, uncouth look that you cherished - not like makeup on your planet, which made you look exactly like what you were... a warrior goddess), and looked in the mirror. Well, what remained of the mirror after you had smashed it. You held a piece of broken glass in your hands and leaned in towards it, your reflection wonky and distorted. You were sitting in your dim-lit, unfurnished (purposefully) bedroom with your friends - the warrior women who you considered your sisters.

    "Thor's in for a lovely surprise today," you sang in monotone, applying more dark pencil liner below your waterline. You quickly rubbed a dark purple lip on and puckered up, raising your eyebrows at yourself in the mirror.

     Mira shook her head playfully and sighed,

    "Honestly, YN, I've known you for years and it still strikes me how crazy you are."

    "Thor's a player, anyway. We know how he is with women... do you really need to fight him?" another one of your sisters, Amina questioned.

     You turned around, huffing defiantly and gripping your sword at your side,

    "Look, it isn't about that. I don't care if Thor wants to bang a fucking dwarf, and with his streak, he probably has. It's about respect. I don't go around flirting with Loki. How dare he invade our honor and try to pick up one of my sisters! It's nothing personal, Lydia, honestly. I think Odinson just forgotten the boundaries."

     Lydia, one of your sisters, the "victim" of Thor's heavy flirting, who had resisted because there was an unspoken but obviously clear rule that Thor was not to ever try to play with one of your sisters, for the purpose of respect. You didn't want him to see your sisters as easy targets or see them as the various women he went through every day of the week. You had all agreed on such a rule, so it wasn't like you were just bossing everyone around. And as for your flirtationship with Thor, that was different. Thor knew better - he knew you could handle him just as well as he could handle you. And for the most part, you were in control.

   Lydia shrugged, continuing her crotchet pattern - she helped make outfits for all of you. You all vowed to be self sufficient. She didn't seem to mind the situation much,

    "Listen. I say go for it. It's been a while. Shake things up again."

You smiled, glad someone understood you,

    "Thank you, Lydia. Right then, I'm off. See you after I ravage him."

| | |

    Back at Asgard, Thor was living his best life. He was breezing through the days, lounging on his throne with multiple women around him daily, feeding on grapes they hung above his lips, getting drunk every night, all while performing his kingly duties. He had let go of the tension you caused him- while he enjoyed his encounters with you, it gave him a lot of unconscious stress to be constantly thinking of when you might next attack. But it had been a while since you last arrived to stress him out, and so he relaxed, and he forgot about you, just a bit.

    But that was before you decided to pop back in again, stomping into the golden room where you saw Thor sitting with one leg up on the throne, women chattering to him and leaning on him, fawning over him. The sight would've made you sick if you weren't already so preoccupied with your rage. You paused in front of the stairway to the throne.

    "ODINSON!!!" you let out a roar that let him know you were here, because he was so distracted by the presence of the women. He almost jumped, and his heart sank when he saw you - weeks of tension returned to his body.

    "Oh shit," he said under his breath, and you smirked, folding your arms and cocking your head at him.

     "What, you didn't miss me? I'm hurt," you gave him a faux pout and then you were back to teasing, your eyes squinted and your lips turned up into a devious smile.

Thor groaned loudly, banging his fists on the arms of his throne. The women surrounding him began to scatter.

    "Why are you here!" he roared.

    "No," you raised your voice at him, "the question is, why are you trying to seduce my sisters? Hm?"

Thor's face went taut and you could see the guilt all over his face. He understood your agreement, and he knew there would be consequences for breaking this agreement. He just didn't think about it until now. You folded his arms, leaning forward,

    "You thought I wouldn't hear about that, did you?"

    "YN, I-" he began stuttering, and nothing coming out of his mouth was making any sense.

     "Yeah, go head and shut the fuck up for me," you cut him off, your tone final - you'd had enough of his bullshit. Thor's lips shut closed immediately. "Gods, you asshole. We had an agreement! Did we not?"

    Thor found this the perfect time to take a dig at you, a knowing smirk playing at his lips as he straightened up in the throne,

    "Sounds awful personal, YN, I mean, it really seems like you took this to heart." You folded your arms annoyedly, already anticipating what he was insinuating. He licked his lips and pulled his lips underneath his teeth. "Jealous much? Are you jealous, YN?"

You didn't answer, just gave him that death stare that told him you weren't here to chit chat right now. He sighed deeply and held his arm out, reaching his hand out into the air,

     "Yup, I got it."

Mjolnir came flashing by and into his hands, and immediately you lunged forth, jumping all the way to the top of the stairs and in front of him on the throne, the two of you clashing. You held your spear out, but Thor blocked it with his hand and knocked it down with his hammer. You scoffed, looking down at your damaged spear on the ground and laughing,

    "That the best you got, king?"

That lit a fire in Thor like no other - not only was it a major turn on for you to call him king, even if it was within an act of defiance, but the mockery was enough to make him black out. He swung his hammer at you and you ducked, bouncing back up just in time to kick him in the face and send him flying backwards, knocking his hammer out of his hand and on the floor away from him.

     "Oh, I do love this!" Loki quipped excitedly as he walked past, and you greeted him joyously - where you and Thor were rivals, you and Loki were twin flames. Thor found your relationship annoying. Every once in a while you'd come to Asgard just to hang out with Loki, scrapbooking and being unusually domestic. He almost wished for a fight when he saw you and Loki hanging out and wreaking havoc.

     "Hey, Loki!" you turned to wave at him, and then got right back to business, pouncing forward like a cat and landing on top of Thor - specifically on top of his lap. You chuckled viciously and held his chin in your hand, lifting it up and wrapping your hand gently around his throat. Neither of you could ignore the erotic nature of your violence. You licked your upper lip like a hungry wolf. "Where's your hammer now, casanova?"

    Thor reached out and Mjolnir was right at his service again.

    "Right here, darling."

A spark of lightning flew out and struck you, sending you flying and laying feet ahead of him on your back, coughing from the impact of the fall. Now Thor stood above you, his height both menacing and alluring, towering over you. Cockily, he blew the tip of his hammer.

    "Anything else?"

    "Yeah," you mumbled, a bit dazed from your fall. "Stop trying to slobber on my sisters!" you kicked your legs up directly at his crotch, and he stumbled back, falling onto the floor in a sitting position, his knees bent towards himself. 

       You grinned victoriously, and picked yourself right up, walking towards him and assuming the same position you had been in before, lowering yourself slowly down onto his lap, one leg on either side of him, the same narrowed, cheeky look in your eyes as before. Thor gazed up at you, in a daze only you could pull out of him, raised eyebrows and glazed over amazement in his eyes and all.      

    "Tap out," you demanded, folding your arms over your chest in such a way that diverted Thor's attention to your body.

    "You know I can't pay attention when you're on top of me like that," Thor sighed, his voice low and husky. You fought a grin off your face, but couldn't hide it completely, your voice steady and methodical,

    "I know."

Thor tapped the ground beside him to insinuate he was done, forfeiting - it happened often that you or Thor tapped out, considering your fights weren't all that serious and were sort of like a game you liked to play. You made a move to get off of him, but he pulled you down by your waist, making you stay.

     "No, stay here," he whined, and you laughed, throwing your head back.

     "You'll stop hitting on my sisters, then?" you inquired, raising a suspicious brow.

     "Not if it means this is what will happen," Thor shrugged. "Really though, you never answered my question." You raised your brow, waiting. "Are you jealous?"

You snorted, though you didn't feel the need to lie,

    "Perhaps a little bit of me wants you all to myself," you batted your lashes at him and ran your hand along his chest. He gripped your waist harder, a determined look settling on his face,

    "I as well."

You shook your head playfully.

     "Oh, Odinson." You leaned forward to place your lips upon his, and he craned his head up so your lips could meet. But you pulled away, just enough so your lips were barely brushing against each others, then gently pushed his chest down, making him lower his head onto the floor again, your lips still hovering above his. You granted him a teasing smile, a knowing look in your eyes as you stared him down. "One day," you said, and vanished, teleporting away from him and back to your own kingdom.

One day!

[lizadoesrph]

labels & connections masterlist

i’ve decided to compile a list of { 014 } labels (plus 23 alternative options) that all work well together, mostly for reasons for skeleton rps, but feel free to nitpick for your own needs!  Because I’m extra, I also included a possible connection between all the labels! please like or reblog this if you find this helpful in anyway!  thank you!

tw: drug mention 

the cavalier // “showing a lack of proper concern ; offhand” a muse who does not really care for anyone else’s feeling’s but their own. alternatives: the dirtbag

the magnate // “a wealthy and influential person, especially a person.” this could really go a lot of ways, but overall just a muse who has a lot of money!  alternatives: the opulent, the trust fund baby

the lost soul // “a soul who is damned ; a person who is unable to cope with everyday life.” a muse who is in the middle of trying to find themselves, often using alternative ways as a method of escapism. alternatives: the dreamer, {tw drugs} the druggie.

the wiseacre // “a person with an affectation of wisdom or knowledge, regarded with scorn or irritation by others; a know-it-all.” a muse that always has the answer to something and HAS to be right. alternatives: the perfectionist, the commentator, the know it all.

the ebullient // “cheerful or full of energy” a muse who is always happy whether that be for factual or fictional reasons.  they always manage to bring up those who are sad. alternatives: the gregarious, the mooncalf

the aesthete // “a person who has or affects to have a special appreciation of art and beauty.” a muse who loves anything to do with looks or appearances, or general aesthetics!  this one is very vague, so they can really take it anyway they want. alternatives: { this wonderful masterlist! } 

the technophile // “a person who is enthusiastic about new technology.“ a muse that always has to have the newest tech ( or at least knows about it ) as soon as it comes out!  alternatives: the hacker.

the mediator // “a person who attempts to make people involved in a conflict come to an agreement; a go-between.” a muse who helps everyone with their problems, maybe neglecting themselves in the process. alternatives: the middle man, the arbitrator

the virtuoso // “a person highly skilled in music or another artistic pursuit.” a muse who is either very into music or is very skilled musician in themselves. alternatives: the prodigy, the maestro.

the loose cannon // “an unpredictable or uncontrolled person who is likely to cause unintentional damage.” a muse who cannot control their own emotions and may act out as a result of this alternatives: the insurgent.

the maverick // “an unorthodox or independent-minded person.” a muse who just wants to be left to their own and do their own thing, may be a little quirky, but ends up getting pulled into the group anyway.  alternatives: the recluse.

the vixen // “a spiteful or quarrelsome woman.” a muse who is very much in charge, hot-headed, and wants to be seen as the leader of the pack. alternatives: the prom king/queen, the leader.

the wannabe // “person who tries to be like someone else or to fit in with a particular group of people.” a muse who tries very desperately to fit in no matter what. alternatives: the chameleon

the gossiper // “someone who talks eagerly and casually about other people.” a muse who enjoys spreading words about others whether they are true or not.  they usually thrive under chaos. alternatives: the anarchist, the sly fox.

BONUS 

connection ideas between the characters! these are mostly set in some sort of town setting, but i did try to make them quite ambiguous.

the wannabe & the vixen have quite a toxic relationship, the vixen knows the wannabe will do anything for them and takes advantage of it.

the gossiper & the mediator have been best friends for as long as the two can remember, the mediator happens to be the only person to never be a victim of the gossiper’s lies.

the aesthete and the virtuoso are starting to become business partners with one another, the virtuoso has the talent while the aesthete has the vision.

the wiseacre and the technophile have a rivalry-ship with each other over the newest technology products, and are constantly trying to one-up one another.

the ebullient and the cavalier have had an on and off relationship for quite some time, and although it’s becoming toxic.  they can’t help but love each other. ALTERNATIVE (non-romantic): the ebullient and the cavalier are recently discovered best friends despite not having much in common.  they seem to bring out the best in each other.

the loose cannon and the magnate have been causing trouble ever since they turned into teenagers.

the maverick and the lost soul are two someone would only find together late at night when the rest of the world has gone to sleep.  they are quiet company while the maverick wants to have alone time, but the lost soul just wants to find who they are and figured the maverick could help them.

[halitophobia]

Blind Eye - Two

Parings ⟶  OC x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (TEMPORARILY) , RK800! Connor x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (EVENTUALLY)

A/N ⟶ Thank you so, so much for the notes from the first chapter ! Btw, I’m really sorry this is a little late. I’m hoping for late weekly chapters? Every 10ish days or so...(I’ve gotten super busy, but I’m trying my best!)

Disclaimer ⟶ still don't own any characters from DBH

Warnings ⟶ swearing, violence, mentions of death, stubborn reader, stubborn Hank, spoilers...?, slow burn, sLoW bUrN, SLOW BURN, alcohol abuse (Hankster), angst, toxic relationship, eventual....fluff, happiness, cute stuff, flustered Connor, flustered Reader, all the gushy-ness, and ?????smut?????

Word Count ⟶ 3023

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 

----

NOV 6th, 2038

AM 12:41:04

"Why'd you kill him?"

"What happened before you took that knife?"

     Pursing your lips and narrowing your eyes, you watch the HK400 through the one-way glass. Your arms are crossed, face still as marble except for the bouncing of your right leg.

"Anderson. Are you cold or having a muscle spasm."

     You blink, glancing down at the one and only Gavin Reed's hands leant on the desk, but as quickly as you do, your eyes are glued back to the window.

"Let's make a bet. Like the good ol' days, yeah?" that same sandpaper voice sounds again, making you frown.

"I say," he pauses, "they had a bromance. Carlos and Andy over here." he gestures to the android. "Carlos brings home this smokin' hot 'robette' babe wanting a steamy, squeaky threesome. Attic boy gets mad and," his right arm comes up, and he stabs the air while pulsing to a beat of 'nn-s, nn-s, nn-s...', "...kills'em." So many things I didn't miss about working here...

     That fowl scent of sweat, old leather, and cheese also known as Gavin wafts your way, and you do your best not to gag. I mean, does this hobo shower? Wash his hands after shitting? A loud bang draws your attention to Hank, who's clearly gotten frustrated.

"Fuck it. I'm outta here." he grumbles, entering the observation room seconds later.

     You slowly clap watching him scowl at you.

"I'm impressed, Pops. You really stated your ground in there." you nod, earning a chuckle from Gavin. "My turn." you smile, and scurry out of the room. You hear Hank's voice yelling at you to come back, but you're already halfway through the door to the interrogation room.

     The droid doesn't move an inch as you shut the door behind you. You grin, feeling a wave of déjà vu wash over you. You've done this plenty of times before. How hard can a life-sized moving Barbie doll be?

"Alright, you piece o' shit." you can physically sense your father slapping his face behind the glass.

"I'm gonna jump right into it, okay? Okay." you drop yourself into the chair across from it, leaning back and crossing your arms and legs. "I don't know how it works in your...command center up there, but you gotta tell us what happened."

     You watch it avoid your gaze. A painful silence dances around you, only to make your skin crawl with frustration. You swing your leg back over and let it drop below you. Your arms come onto the table and you lean down, to get into its view.

"Pssst. I'm not leaving until you spill." you whisper, staring into its eyes even though it doesn't return the contact. You push back abruptly and revert to a normal volume, "So we can just skip all this," you motion between the both of you, "and you can obey, like a good little bot."

     Immediately, you see the change of energy from the suspect. Your brows lift, amused at the reaction. "Oh? Not into the whole submissive thing? I can see you got mad there. If that's even possible."

     It shifts again, seeming to get more worked up. This is perfect, you just need to push it around. No better way to let off some steam.

"You wrote 'I AM ALIVE' on the wall, like a jewelled crown atop Ortiz's lifeless head. That's what he said to make you upset, right? You were quoting him? Because, well...I mean, how on earth could you think of that? You aren't capable of...thinking for yourself." you wait, and decide to amp it up. "For all we know, that man was innocent. Just enjoying his life, wanting...a friend? And you come along? To do what? To stab him."

     There's a warning knock from the other side of the glass. You brush it off and examine the android. Chest heaving, hands clenched and jaw rippling. The lips on its face quiver, words just waiting to break the dam. And without looking back, you chimmy-changa your way across the line.

"Twenty. Eight. Times."

     You hear the tapping once again, more urgent, but still, you ignore it. Can you shut up? You're a millisecond away from confession and they choose to cut you know? Your old man probably wants to slip in and take credit.

     You're brought back to your senses as you watch the scene in front of you. The battered automaton is now writhing under the chords which bolt is slowly lifting off the table. "Hey, hey, hey. No need to cause a scene. Suck it up, and tell me wh-" your vision goes black. Well fuck me...

     The second your sight leaves, it's back but doubled. Your forehead throbs, as if a pump were behind your eyes. That motherfucking thing head-butted you. You can't help the weight sloshing around your brain, making your head pound harder. You move to stand, but stumble into the wall behind you. Get. Up.

     You feel arms hook under yours, and start to get dragged towards the door. "Get off of me!" you snap.

     Your view seeps back into HD and you ignore the sting in your head. "I'm fine! Let me finish this!" your voice is a harsh growl, and you lash around in the person's grasp.

Who is this anyway?

     Then you smell it. Oh. Reed tightens his grip, practically lifting you from your waist, and before you know it, your dropped into a computer chair facing the interrogation room. Just as you start to collect yourself, another smack is planted on your skull.

Okay what the fuck.

"Ow."

     An ice pack falls off your shoulder and into your lap. Wow, do I get a massage too?

"Nice going, Y/N." Hank spits.

     You roll your eyes, pressing them into the ice pack. With your voice muffled, you reply with 'thank you'.

"No, I really mean it. You just jeopardized this whole cross-examination. You brought that thing near to self-destruction!"

     Your brain is hoola-hooping within your skull and this ancient dick lecturing you is just hollering encouragement.

"Y/N, take this seriously. You really fucked up." Gavin chimes in.

Oh give me a break.

     You groan loudly, hoping it'll make them stop. You really don't need this. You just need five quiet minutes, and you can go back in and get that confession. Easy-peasy.

"Earth to Y/N. You may have been bumped in there, but I know damn-well you can hear me." Hank aggressively taps your shoulder and the water in the pot just boils away.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

     You're fully turned around, eyes ablaze with fire. You're cooking both men alive from your eyes and the pain from your head disappears for a moment. A silent breath escapes your parted lips, and you almost whisper.

"Will you, shut up."

     The air is thick as fog. Your sight clogged with angry-exhaustion, their's with vigilance, for they now tread on very thin ice.

"My name is Conner, what about you. What's your name?"

You're. KIDDING.

     Spinning your chair right around, you're faced with an image of pure disaster. Sir Smiley-Bot is seated across from the HK400.

"You let the fucking android interrogate the fucking android!"

     It hasn't even been twenty minutes and for the second time, you're blood is racing around your body like a jet. Running circuits in and out of your shrinking heart. Does no one have common sense in this fucking facility?

"What do we have to lose, Y/N. You've already ruined a proper examination, what's so different in sending in the thing?"

     Hank's voice destroys every sense of calm in your veins. You're going fucking bonkers now. It's like they worship this brown-haired robot. Prancing around its steel feet, praying to the android gods above. You've come to a conclusion; you are officially the only sane human in this police division. Everyone's brains are being melted by the second and they'll all just become slaves for the androids. Yup, I’ve solved the case.

"Shh, shh, shut up. Listen." Gavin lays his hand on your right shoulder, which you quickly brush off.

"I was fucking breathing."

     He replies with a grimy finger to his lips, staring forward. You sulk in the chair, intertwining your fingers atop the desk. The ice pack is balanced on your head and you stare forward. King-Droid seems to be calming the defendant down. Seriously?

"I could have easily calmed the thing down, this isn't all that fantastic." you scoff, adjusting the cooling pack.

     Hank flicks your head in response. It sure shuts you up. I am getting favoured over a bottle cap. I leave for one year and all of Detroit's been fucked in the ass by Alexa, Google Home, and Cortana at the same time. This is absolute bullshit. Choosing these things? Over trusted humans? This is surely humanity's last stra-

"No!"

...come again?

"No, please don't do that!"

     All three of you are now leant toward the glass, your nose virtually pressed on it. All that stupid popcan had to do was threaten to probe its memory ooooh spooky!

"What..."

     A beautifully awkward sound of leather, wood, and the chair squeal in harmony as your trio incline forward again. If it weren't for the one-way glass, there would be three sources of breath in their own designated spots.

"What are they going to do to me?"

Baby bye, bye, bye, BYE BYE.

"They're going to destroy me, aren't they?" its voice is in a panicked hiss.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

"They're going to disassemble you to look for problems in your biocomponents. They have no choice if they want to understand what happened."

     This goes on for a little while, the honoured golem teetering between comfort and warning. You just watch soundlessly, intrigued for the outcome. Cold droplets trickle down your neckline, for the pack on your head had started to melt. You can't resist the urge to shiver, swiftly wiping away the excess water.

     Your attention is slowly dispersing and you're starting to lose interest. You notice your stomach grumble - right, you'd forgotten to eat before all of this. Come to think of it, you're starving. Your gut agrees and wails to you again.

"Shh!" Gavin jeers.

Oh please.

     You start to lift onto your feet, wanting to grab a snack, but are interrupted by a voice that has been heard to the very minimal. Seriously though, vending machine cashews would kill right about now...

"He tortured me everyday..."

     Your ass is stapled back into the chair, holding your tongue as its mouth finally starts to move. You listen intently, watching the emotions.

     You're amazed at how...real these androids look. This...suspect. Its..his eyes were saying something. His face held...pain. The way he says he was scared makes your breath falter. For a moment, you could really believe they're humans...with their own lives...own problems.

     But your eyes move to the annoying one and the funky lighted circle gives it away.

     Connor no, that hurt to say... asks more questions. And that's when you feel shivers crawl up your spine, vertebrae by vertebrae. The dark-skinned bot falls into a trance, speaking of ra9. Claiming it will save them all...that they'll no longer be slaves. You swallow hard, feeling regretful...and alarmed. You blink. You never know what these two could be doing in there.

"What if they're secretly communicating to each other? Through their...biocompo-nents...? you ask under your breath.

"As if. They can't mind...speak." the brunette scoffs behind you.

"Yeah? And how would you know." you bark back.

You're interrupted by Hank, smacking both of you.

The RK800 turns its head toward the mirror; harsh and precise. "I'm done."

     You jolt up. Goosebumps on your skin, hairs on your arms standing tall and attentive. That interrogation gave me the creeps...

     All three of you flood out the main door, heading to the one just a foot away. Officer Chris Miller tags along who you literally hadn’t noticed until he cleared his throat, preparing to move the aberrant. No...that's just weird to say. Suddenly, the room feels a lot smaller. Six of you is six too many.

"Chris, lock it up." Gavin commands gruffly. You notice how he eyes the RK800, the model obviously ignoring his warning.

     Officer Miller detatches it from the table, but it jerks from his grasp. Your eyes narrow and you lean against the door, feeling drowned from the new energy in the space. Like defusing a ticking bomb.

     Gavin interjects aggressively, hassling Chris to move it. You watch awkwardly as they struggle, both of them pulling completely opposite ways. You push off from the wall, starting to get impatient.

"You're making this harder than it has to be." you state, trying to get its attention.

     Gavin yells once again, only to get the same in return. Your childish ass chimes in, telling Reed to back down, and now it's just a trio of toddlers crying for their candy. You're telling the cheese-smelling douche to hold his temper, while he's bitching about being tired. Chris yells at both of you two shut up when you notice the thing across you grab the officer's gun.

Fuck.

      In less than a second, blue...blood has coloured the ceiling. The HK400 is crumpled on the floor, gun laying loosely amoung its fingertips. Nothing stirs in all six of you. Your lungs have paused, muscles and eyes too. Your gaze is cemented on the one now pressed to the ground. The eyes still and wide like any other human lying dead. It stares off into another realm, mouth frozen in time, halfway through an inhale.

     This is what you forgot about. This part of the job. This raw, ferocious beast that gnaws at your gut. Chewing, ripping, tearing your meat agonizingly slow. Always hungry, always eating away at you.

"Holy shit."

     You whip your head at your father, revolted that the same words escaped his mouth...at the same time.

----

AM 1:34:48

     Gulping down two pills of ibuprofen, you stare at Hank talking with his plastic buddy. You're leant against his desk, fiddling around with his pens and sticky notes. You sigh as you feel someone slide up next to you.

"How've you been, fucker. You looked like shit walking into the building cuffed. 'Thought you were the one being arrested."

     The grey-eyed dickwad chuckles at his comment, anticipating your snarky retort.

"Reed, I'm not in the mood." you grumble, wiping your eyes with the underside of your fingers.

     You can sense his frown and disappointment. There's a small pause, but sure enough, he doesn't leave you alone.

"Another fight with Ben?"

Your stomach inverts and you feel the need to throw up. "Excuse me?"

     He raises his hands defensively. "Woah, woah. Just asking. You just always seem to be having problems with that guy."

"Where did you get this from, huh?" you threaten.

"Last time I saw you, you were whinging about him on the phone. You weren't being discrete."

     Sure...you weren't, but that doesn't mean he had the right to listen. He's a nosy, intrusive, grumpy old prick and you have never felt so disgusted in his presence.

"Stay out of my life, Reed. You have no right to ask me that. You have no right to assume things about me, and you have no right to be a...fucking asshole!"

"That last one isn't even-"

You slapped him.

     There's a sliver of regret, but your choler has clouded your mind. Do I have anger issues?

     Next thing you know, Hank is lecturing you about having manners, controlling your actions, thinking before you do, blah blah blah. You've heard this all before, it's like you're thirteen again, getting pestered at for feeding the dog your lasagna. Or cutting off that stupid girl's ponytail. She was a wicked shrew...

     Behind Hank, you catch Gavin start to snicker. Absolutely not. You push past the bearded man and start to pummel the brunette's chest. And I mean pummel. Beat. Punch. Slam. Not one giggle leaves his toxic mouth. Poppa tries to pry you off, but he gets an elbow to the nose. Respect your elders, am I right? All this anger...is barely even from Gavin's stupid words. This is the rage from the past two hours. Tonight has been hell. Trudging through disaster after disaster. It's all too much. Your gums start to ache due to the tightness of your jaw. Your hands begin to shake, each blow somehow impacting you. It's like you're just beating up yourself.

     A pair of arms wrap around your sore body, ripping you from your poor...punching bag. Gavin's face is already swelling. Black and blue covering his skin. Blood as the cherry on top. He's dead quiet now, breathing heavily as he lays on the ground. But then...you notice Hank on the ground too, blood spilling from his nose. If Hank's on the ground...then that means...

     You look down and see grey sleeves, detailed with black and silver. No, no, no, no...

"LET ME GO YOU CLUSTER OF RUSTY NAILS."

"I'm sorry, Detective Anderson, but you need to calm down before I can let you go."

I hate his voice, I hate his voice, I hate his voice...

"I'm calm." your voice like honey flowing over chocolate mousse.

     You drop every emotion in your face. All of your tensed muscles fall and you seep into its chest. Its arms fall from your torso. You wait a beat, then completely turn around.

You punch it square in the face.

     You watch in delight as its face snaps back. It stumbles, just once, which truly is enough for you. There's a burst of relieve and triumph, followed by a sting and numbness between your knuckles

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, fuck. Fucking fuck. Okay, so worth it, though...

----

[blackreesemajic]

Social Distancing with a New Flame

         ✨💕 You just met a new boo and just when the vibes started flowing boom* 💥 💥 the world shuts down and quarantine is turned on. The honeymoon phase should be the time you and your person are going on dates, boo’d up in public, holding hands, and sucking each other's face every second of the day.  😘😘😘

Your mind is filled with a plethora of in-person activities y’all can be doing during this time to make the butterflies in your stomach flutter like they just popped a perk.

If your situation is anything like mine, You may feel like your coochie was just put on 90-day probation without your consent. Thank you to the reviews of Steve Harvey’s, “Act like a Lady, Think like a man.” And his toxic masculinity perpetuated in his book,  I would have read it and MAYBE had been better prepared for THIS situation. 

Remember, although times are hard right now it’s not always about sex! Your peach  🍑 may be yearning for that eggplant  🍆 but 30-90 days is not. that. long... of a wait to be intimate with someone. 

You could be like one of those people who wait until marriage…

No shade, but I am not one of those people.  

I’m the, “Bring that ass here boi!” type of people. 

The CDC recommends that we “Stay Calm” during this time quarantine.

 It sounds unrealistic to me.  😒

 How can we stay calm when our sexual desires are all over the place. 

There are three things we are ALL doing during this time if we are not daydreaming about the outside land. 

We spend all day bouncing that ass from Insta to Facebook, Twitter to Tumblr then back to Insta again…

 Log on to our ex’s Netflix account and be entertained by the white Trashery of Tiger King and then see the same trashery in the White House to remind us the world has gone straight to SHITS... 

Lastly, switching to Private mode on our phones and visiting pornhub.com or xvideos.com to see who is offering the best free subscription. 

 Trust me, I’m right there with you! 

 Just because social distancing is in effect does not mean you have to distance your heart. 

Let’s use this time to get to know each other on a personal level. 

Isolation could be causing your energies to yearn for one another louder than ever. You may even have a heightened craving of intimacy during this time. This time in quarantine can be beneficial to your dating life if you consider yourself someone who is, “Shy or Introverted” or are attracted to people who are. Many people with introverted personalities would prefer getting to know each other over the phone or on a virtual date. This is the time to bring back genuine connections, open and honest conversations, and my ALL TIME FAVORITE… Falling asleep on the phone. 

[[Pieces of Reese: If he in quarantine at “his crib” but can only talk to you during certain hours or when he steps outside… He in quarantine with someone else, sis. LET HIM GO! ]]   🔑 😒

Here are some tips to keep the flame lit, tea hot, and coffee dripping down your lips. So that when you and your new boo do get back together the connection is stronger than ever!

1.     Self Healing and Reflecting: I know. I know. You were so excited because you feel like you could have finally met your “PERSON”. And now, You can’t even see them in-person. Your mind starts to ponder so many “What the fucking Ifs!” “What if they get bored with me?” “What if they lose interest?” “What if they have multiple quarantine boo’s”  “What if they catch corona and die?!!!” I know it sounds fucking crazy but its a real fucking fear.  You must remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real!

I NEED YOU TO IMMEDIATELY; Reset your mind and Refocus yourself. 

Now is the time you must remind yourself that “YOU ARE THAT BITCH!” Use this time to get to know you. Get healthy Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally... If being in a relationship/ situationship is what you desire at the end of all of this. Use the time to make yourself WHOLE. Thou can’t pick up broken glass without cutting the hand that is trying to put the pieces back together.  

[[ “We don’t fear being alone. We fear getting to know the parts of ourselves we didn’t know before.” - Pieces of Reese ]]

 Pick up a pen and paper and write: Write a letter to yourself. Write in your diary. Write to your person. Write your feelings. Write yourself daily affirmations and post them on your bathroom mirror so that you see them every day. Get connected with the feelings behind your everyday thoughts.

Set a routine; Whatever the routine looks like to you, set it! There is no amount of work you need to force yourself to meet society’s sense of productivity. The routine is only in place to keep your body prepared for what the universe has to offer you once this is all done.

2.       Virtual Dates: It seems crazy but having a virtual date can be romantic and is also cost-efficient. If you or your partner want to be extravagant you can rotate turns ordering the other person a meal (Be sure to leave your delivery person a decent tip for working through these hard times). You can both go into your own kitchens and cook each other your favorite meal. Make something you will want your person to try when you are in one space. Try describing the taste of the meal, who taught you how to make it, and why it is your favorite. Adding wine or alcohol loosens things up and being alone could make you more comfortable with being yourself on the date. A great website to get the conversation going: www.goalcast.com/2018/04/19/deep-questions-to-ask-your-partner/amp/ 

3.   Share what you see: If you are a lover of music, videos, Memes, or GIFs, Do NOT be afraid to share it with your person. With everything that is happening in the world currently, Now is the perfect time to make someone smile and laugh. Remember that MENTAL HEALTH is real! For people who suffer from Mental Health Illness, forced isolation calls for undesired thoughts of not being wanted. Show your person they are the first person you thought of when you have seen or heard something. Make them feel like, you couldn’t wait to send it to them. Let them know they are not alone during this time. You are their person   

4. If you are adventurous: Video or Phone sex has never got anyone left on READ. It actually gets you a callback.

 It's safe, sexy, and Kinky AS FUCK! Call your friends who love BDSM to teach you a thing or two. Virtual sex allows you to push the boundaries between you and your partner. It makes each person excited for what's to come when you are in one space. 

You can set the mood for your virtual hook up by lighting candles, having your space neat, camera angles must be on point,  and start off with a striptease to get the eggplant ripe and keep the peach juicy. 

Playing a ”If I miss, I Strip. If you miss, You strip.” [if you know, you know ❤️ + 🏀 ] type of game may relax you and your partner. Of course, Make it specific to you and yours. Don’t forget to have your #BlackReeseMajic music playlist ready. If you don’t have a music playlist visit my apple music/ Spotify to follow any of mine  

5.    Lastly, Optional, and specific for my Spiritual Souls who believe in the power of Manifestation: ✨💕✨💕✨💕

[You do not have to have a person already to do this step. If you are someone hoping to find your quarantine boo or keep the one you have then this is for you]

 Step One: is to start by writing out everything you want in your person. Qualities, Attributes, Values, and Looks (if you believe in detail). Remember to write out how you want to be treated by your person. If you want to go the extra step. You can write what ‘You’ will be able to offer to your person. Once you have produced the person you desire in the concrete sense,

 Step Two: is to call on your spirits guides, ancestors, and higher power to bring forth your ask. Some things you may need to connect with the spiritual realm but are not required are 1.Pink Candle (Pink candles personify the purest form of love, a love without selfishness with selfless emotions, are ideal for the beginning of a relationship), 2. Herbs or Essential oils [if you have] have a centuries-long history of symbolizing love and devotion (Lavender, Rose, Basil, Calendula...etc). 3. Sage: “Sage is known to have healing properties and with the power of intention and spiritual connection with the source of all existence, the burning of Sage assists with healing and clearing.” 4. Offering: Clean and freshwater is the simplest form of offering. You can also offer coins, jewelry, fruits, anything appealing to the spirits. 5. Bell or anything that makes noise (can be your voice) 

And Step Three: Have a table or space specific for intentions or manifestation. With a clear mind, body, and soul begin my thanking creation for all that you already have. I like to place my “person desires” list under my pink candle. I sprinkle my herbs around and inside my candle. I  use a couple of drops of my essential oils for fragrance (Spirits love good smelling things). I make my spiritual space as pretty as possible (Glitter is enticing to spirits and crystals deepens the vibrations). I give the offering (usually freshwater, money, or coins). I chant (Chanting is specific to you. If you need help with a chant I usually say, “All praises to the most high. God, Spirits, Creation, and Ancestors, I thank you for everything you have done and everything you continue to do. I offer you my purest self and this alter to bring forth my ask…”  I burn my sage (smell, clarity, and guidance to myself and spirits), and finally, I light my pink love candle.

 I let my candle burn for a whole day or I light it every day for a few hours then blow it out.   

I hope this tea has filled your soul the way writing it has filled mine. Stay at home if you can and stay safe during this time. 

If you are someone who lost a loved one from complications of COVID19, I pray for healing and peace over your life. I am sending EACH and every one of you Light and Love from the depths of my soul. 

Spread Light and Love Every day! ✨💕

PEACE & Be The.      

    Sincerely, Pieces of Reese

Sources: 

https://www.miracleswithinus.com/the-spiritual-side-of-sage.html

https://dontmesswithmama.com/essential-oils-for-romance-love/

https://www.thespruce.com/herb-meanings-in-love-and-romance-1761964

https://www.sisterlove.org/post/keeping-it-safe-and-sexy-covid19

[bakudekuficlibrary]

hi! do you guys know of any good love triangle fics? maybe with bakugou and todoroki crushing on deku?

Hello! Here’s the link to our One-sided Todo/Deku + Jealous Bakugou mini-list. Below are the rest of the love triangle fics out there. Some aren’t confirmed as to whether or not the endgame is BakuDeku, and so I’ll make a note of which ones those are 😊 There are no repeats of the fics in the other list in this one, and this one is separated based on the one-sided ship. 

-Ellie

24 Works.

Todo/Deku & BakuDeku & Kiri/Baku

The Other Side Of The Door by Dontmindme9 ( G | 130,129+ | 49/? )

Izuku becomes Prince Shouto’s personal servant. Because Izuku has to follow him around every day, they get really close. When Izuku gets lost while on an errand, Shouto does everything he can to find him again. Meanwhile, Izuku is saved by a wild Bakugou. Inside the angry teen, Izuku see’s a side of Bakugou that no one has taken the time to see. Both take a liking to the innocent green haired boy, and refuse to give him up.

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Whatever It Takes by casschad ( M | 46,458+ | 15/30 )

Shoto and Kacchan are the sons of the Head of the League of Villains, and next in line to succeed when he retires. When they’re assigned a mission to spy on the All Might-led Hero Coalition, they set off with a few other villains to train alongside those with the best quirks in the hero capital undercover.

Enter Izuku Midoriya- a gifted trainer with a passion to find the best heroes to defeat the League of Villains. Meeting two very talented brothers with insanely powerful quirks has been nothing but a chore so far, but the three will come together to change the world as they know it, and maybe make it out alive.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Emotionally Abusive Parent]

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

[Abandoned] "Yeah..." I turned back around and he was waiting for me ( Not Rated | 1,180 | 1/1 )

“Sorry.” I hide my head from his face which was slowly turning into a smile.

“Did you think I’d believe that?” He questioned.

“No.”

“I didn’t, I know you Kacchan.” My heart ached. Was this lie bringing us closer together?

Fuck yeah.

I just nodded, my face red. He’s the only one who can call me that.

{ Curator’s Note: No endgame cause abandoned & orphaned }

Todo/Deku & BakuDeku

Wildfire by Tenkku ( E | 117,868 | 19/19 )

With his family in dire straits, omega nobleman Izuku is sent to marry the strongest alpha warlord, Katsuki Bakugo. But Bakugo wants nothing to do with him, and the marriage is for political and military purposes only. Izuku doesn’t see himself as a weak omega and wants to fight on the battlefield side-by-side with Bakugo. Izuku will find friendly comfort in Shouto Todoroki, the prince of the Western Territory, and Bakugo’s prisoner of war. Todoroki will see the qualities in Izuku that Bakugo refuses to see in a Dom-Omega mate, but Bakugo doesn’t like to share, especially when Izuku belongs to him. Izuku will do whatever he can to ensure that he stands beside his alpha mate on the battlefield and help to bring change to the hierarchy world of alphas. Izuku will have to choose between happiness with one alpha or duty with another; he can’t have both.

Go to Bed, Dumbass by sunsetsundae ( M | 37,128+ | 17/? )

"What the fuck are you doing here at two in the morning?" The blond male asked in a voice that was closer to a growl as he curled the weight he was holding.

"I could ask you the same question," Izuku replied with a small smile as he headed for the bench press.

[Internalized Homophobia]

Dreams Can Become Reality by KingKagura ( T | 140,679+ | 25/? )

Just as a quirkless young girl is about to give up on her dream, her destiny changes with the meeting of her idol, All Might.Midoriya Izuku is able to become a hero. After gaining the One For All quirk from All Might, Izuku embarks on her own action-packed adventure, full of friends, rivals, enemies, and romance.

Full House by Hana ( G | 12,881+ | 6/? )

"Izuku, honey you must endure it. I am sorry your mother is weak, but this is the only way I could support us since your father's death." Midoriya Inko says as she caresses her daughter's tear stained cheeks.-------------------------

It was so many years ago that Izuku and her mother had to work as maids for the Bakugou family. For her mother,she endured endless years of bullying from her master, and loneliness from her distant coworker who she could never confide in. Never in a million years would she think that they would both fall for her. Not only that, who would have thought a butler would have turned out to be an heir to the Todoroki company?

[Abandoned] Artifical Feelings by FujoshiKingdom ( T | 4,199 | 2/? )

Bakugo Katsuki was created for one reason: Protect Izuku Midoriya. Nothing Else.

Katsuki, a stubborn and prideful Demerian would not simply obey a timid human lacking self-preservation, yet he can't help but experience an unknown presence whirling in his stomach when he first laid eyes on the green-haired omega.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

{ Curator’s Note: Endgame unknown }

the green-eyed leviathan by amphitryte ( E | 21,904+ | 7/? )

Izuku Midoriya is a respected pirate who has voyaged the seas for years, creating a life for himself that was both fulfilling and satisfying. The crick in the neck for King Enji, Izuku finds himself with a bounty on his head to be brought back to the unruly tyrant dead or alive. However, another King, much younger and volatile than the one aforementioned, sinks his claws into Izuku first, and he has his reasons to keep the young buccaneer at his side.

Even better is the fact that the Crown Prince, Enji’s son, has also been taken by this hot-tempered King. Thrown into a rowdy mix of politics, drama, and scandal, Izuku will fight to obtain his life again. That won’t be easy, however, when he has two sets of royal stares tracking his every move with interest, curiosity, and lust gleaming in their eyes.

omegaverse | pirate au

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Gifted with a Curse by JunNoAce ( E | 29,371+ | 5/? )

Updated to Explicit for future chapters. There will be sex and some possible deaths and possible trolling to readers. Main ship is KatsuDeku, some others may be present.

~~~~~~~~19 year old Izuku and his mother moves in a new village in the country side.Izuku has the strange hobby of studying and learning about the mysteries behind magic, curses, and so on.He meets Shoto a traveler who seems to have been on many adventures. Izuku is very curious about what stories the boy may have to tell but feels embarrassed by how nice the other treats him.One day his mother leaves to visit a shop in their old town and doesn't make it back home on time. Izuku worried goes to search for her and comes across an old castle.Here is where he meets him, a cursed Lord Katsuki filled with rage and with the appearance of a beast.

Meteor by kxro_2 ( E | 5,523+ | 2/? )

Midoriya didn't remember the meteor that hit Japan 10 years ago and injured him, nor did he realize his body was changing in complex ways due to it. Worry not! A prestigious school had recently opened up and only accepted the victims of injury of the meteor, due to the blood deformities it caused.

Katsuki realized how toxic he had been towards Midoriya when they were kids, which is why he pushed him away and refused to talk to him. He wanted to make things work out, but he was horrible at it.

Todoroki was just interested in the pleasant smelling boy and wanted to maybe court him. Maybe not, since all he got were death glares from a jealous Katsuki

A/B/O AU No superheroes

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

He’s Mine by TheCommonPerson ( E | 1,364+ | 1/? )

Izuku was a rare nine-tailed fox, one of the last of his kind. His parents were killed when he was only three, and soon after the renown eight-tailed alpha lion, All-Might found him. A few years later when Izuku turned ten, he experienced his first heat and presented as an omega soon after that All-Might was called away and Izuku, was then left in the care of Shoto Aizawa, a four-tailed beta lone wolf. For five years Izuku lived in the central mountains with Aizawa until one harsh winter forced them from their home, they traveled into the eastern territories until they reached the cusp of the thick eastern forests where the beginnings of the eastern plains began.

The Bakugou pack controlled the Eastern forest while the Todoroki pride controlled the Eastern Plains, settled in the disputed land where the plains and the forest meet, Izuku encounters Katsuki the Six tailed Alpha wolf heir to the eastern forests pack and Shoto the Seven tailed Alpha panther heir to the eastern plains pride. Both Shoto and Katsuki view Izuku as their mate to be, and both intend to take him by whatever means necessary.

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Autumn Leaves by aftermath24 ( T | 28,713+ | 6/? )

It was a comfort that not many people had – to be able to pinpoint the exact moment their brains decided to go insane. For Izuku Midoriya, he'd be able to point at this moment with great confidence - the moment he saw nothing but empty clothes, and, instead of the classmate or even that loud blonde boy that he'd accidentally fallen on, a rat and a cat glaring at each other.

or

The fruits basket AU, where people turn into animals on physical contact

SeriesPart 1 of Nightbird

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

[Abandoned] A Poppy in the Field by Midnight_Solstice ( M | 8,540 | 4/10 )

Shouto gets a glimpse of his future with the help of the future-seeing quirk from one of his father’s sidekicks, and finds out he dies protecting the person he loves the most at the age of eighteen.

He doesn't know what to make of this information, so he simply turns a blind eye towards it.

After all, Todoroki Shouto doesn't... "fall in love".

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

[On Hiatus] Witch's Heart by Xyerose ( M | 5,953+ | 2/? )

Midoriya was fortunate enough to be a survivor of the Witch Hunt, one that wiped nearly the entire population of witches. He lives his life in complete solitude with his mother and his childhood friend, Bakugo Katsuki, encompassed within a world of false security and comfort. Within a flash, it all changes when the humans find him.

Right in front of his very eyes, his mother is burned at the stake.

...Enter Todoroki Shoto, the Witch Hunter with a wish he'd be willing to risk his own life for.

[ TW: Mentions of rape/non-con elements. I don't condone rape in any way nor do I support it. There is no actual rape within the story and there never will be. ]

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Rape/Non-Con | Dehumanization]

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Dramatic Love by AsakuraHannah ( T | 2,428+ | 2/? )

It’s more than just triangle love. It’s something your heart decides who you should stay with, even through hard time.

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Summer Breeze by CapersAndPines ( T | 5,293+ | 5/? )

Summer AU! Todoroki and Midoriya were childhood friends separated by distance and time. Summer has come and a mysterious boy has appeared. Is this what they call fate? Where does the summer breeze intend to take them?

{ Curator’s Note: Unclear endgame }

Izu/Ocha & BakuDeku

Of What ifs and time machines by Maru_Chan ( T | 47,765+ | 7/? )

Because the harsh reality was, that Izuku Midoriya was getting married tomorrow afternoon, and that no matter how Katsuki felt about it, there was nothing he could do to change that fact.

Or maybe there was.(Or: in which Bakugou Katsuki gets the bad end, and later gets another shot at rewriting it.)

Not Stated

You get a heart by Nephel_Cloud ( E | 35,486+ | 6/? )

At four years old, Izuku was deemed quirkless and useless for the world, his one close friend that he had trusted left him.His confidence and hope dimnished little by little as the years passed, the bullying adding more damage to him than only the physical scars.On a day, where everything seemed to happen at once, his life suddenly turned around. His hope had dimnished, but not the still colorful and detailed dream of becoming a hero. Unexpectedly, he finds help on his way to his dreams, and a rekindled relationship between two childhood friends ensue. How will the road towards heroism play out, for both of them?

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Sexism]

{ Curator’s Note: This work has the “Love Triangles” tag, but I can’t find where it states who is involved in the love triangle. }

His Kingdom by ElopeToTheSea ( M | 15,462+ | 4/15 )

"The kingdom or him?" Ochako asked. Her voice was low, full of disdain. "What will you chose?"

Izuku smiled, there was no fear in him. There was nothing he could ever regret in that second.

"My answer hasn't changed, princess," he responded. "And it never will."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Pitiful."

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

{ Curator’s Note: Same thing. Love Triangles tag, but unclear who is involved. }

The Dragon King's mate by twilightwings ( E | 23,424+ | 7/? )

Izuku decides to go after a rare flower that only grows, on a mountain in the Dragon King's territory. She discovers someone from her past living with the dragon, she is plunged into his world where she fell in love with him all over again. however there a noble knight who wants her hand in marriage. But However, there something sinister in the wake, when is a threaten force from the past is threating to return.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

{ Curator’s Note: Same thing. }

HypoThalamus [Hiatus] by ToxicPooPoo ( Not Rated | 41,131+ | 7/? )

Coming across old friends wouldn't cause you to discover more about the global mass murderers, an unusual dreaming ability, and the problem of seeing too much, yet Izuku Midoriya found himself in these conditions. The boy is driven by his concealed passion to rescue the innocent despite how illegal it is. With four hours of sleep every night and a hidden power that no one has acknowledged, he manages to complete vigilante duties at midnight. Izuku soon realizes that secrets aren't permanent, tragedies are the future's best friend, and that you should never ever play with fire.

Going on a hiatus, I'm not really motivated to continue this at the moment. I have another fanfic idea involving cool lookin' creatures and I wanna do that first since I'm more into that. When I get ahold of that fic, I'll also try to write these chapters and then post them every week when I feel it's where I want it to be.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death | Self-Hatred | Suicide Attempt | Panic Attacks | Dissociation | Addiction | Child Abuse]

{ Curator’s Note: You already know it babey. Read the notes above. }

Todo/Deku & BakuDeku & Shin/Deku

Why Me by Nonstopshipper ( T | 1,196 | 1/1 )

“Will you go out with me!!!”Izuku found himself surrounded by 3 people all asking for the same thing.

{ Curator’s Note: No endgame }

Todo/Deku & BakuDeku & Kiri/Deku

[Abandoned] We Found Love in a Hopeless Place by rap_cinna_mon ( G | 1,698 | 2/2 )

This is an AU where myths and legends exist.Forbidden forests, magical creatures, special abilities, curses and cure.

Adventure, fantasy, and romantic comedy.

This story is really slow paced.

{ Curator’s Note: No endgame because it was abandoned }

[createdtogetbored]

Riverdale 3×10

So writing these long ass text posts is actually really fun for me and if you actually read it thank youuuuu  😚 (this one is veryyyy long sorry)

Soooo i was expecting a follow up from the previous episode but they most likely couldn’t find a logical explanation as to how he survived.

Hiram and Archie’s relationship remind of me and my ex’s relationship like what Archie thinks of Hiram is exactly how i feel about my exes is it fucked up in their part or my part? Well who knows?

VARCHIE

Veronica is worried about Archie’s hair the second she saw him is so character for her.

I was screaming DO NOT KISS the entire time, and i’m sorry but i will always be bitter and angry to Veronica that she kissed Archie. You may not agree but i wouldn’t do that. Ohhh nevermind they literally had sex? Ohh that is just great Veronica wow. I’m disappointed.

I am starting to believe they have a unhealthy relationship like Dawson and Joey if you watched Dawson’s Creek. It’s like they need each other so much that they can’t survive individually. And i am one of those people who think that’s not romantic but toxic. They had to kiss or had sex because it’s like necessity for their life. Doesn’t matter the consequence which is hurting someone (Reggie)

“What did i miss when i was gone?”

Betty’s look sums it up lol 😕🙄😅

HONEY

They really did throw him a party huh?

“Take a seat lover, let me entertain you”

meanwhile

*Reggie dies internally while watching them*

Veronica wtf

Bughead was so cringe at the party they look so unnatural 🤢

Someone singing for you and looking into your eyes in front of a lot of people while your best friend is dying of jealousy hmmm love that

I watched Reggie the whole scene he literally try to act like he didn’t care offf

And Archie PTSD from the whole thing someone help him pls this town need a psychiatrist more than a sheriff

Archie you don’t study the SAT’s for a day or two it’s a processes you can take it again it’s okay

Archie is me taking an exam

Archie is not okay someone fucking do something

I was never tired of Varchie having sex too much but they really think ‘will you stay with me?’ means sex i-

Ras wtf? Veronica crying while taking her shirt off?

Thay act like a rebound relationship?

Varchie has been dead for a WHILE

JERONICA

THE POP’S SCENE

People say it’s a core four scene but i say it’s a Jeronica scene and you know it sis

“ two chocolate, one vanilla...” TWO BEING JUGHEAD AND VERONICA. These kind of subtle things make me wanna believe they know our existences and they are teasing us for a possible romance help

“Thankfully i hired the Serpents as my full time protecters”

JUGHEAD’S LOOK AFTER THAT SENTENCE IS EVERYTHING LADYS AND GENTLEMAN WE DID IT

it’s like gratitude.

“Sorry Veronica”

“Don’t be”

I-

HE FUCKING CARES ABOUT HER EMOTIONS AND RESPECTS HER NOW AGAIN IT’S OVER YOU BIETCHHES

VEGGIE

MY HEART BROKEN INTO MILLION PIECES CAN YOU HEAR IT????

“I get it. Archie’s back enough said” that is just i- And his voice is so sad like he is about to cry or something

I AM INCREDIBLY ANGRY TO VERONICA SHE COULD’VE HANDLE THE SITUATION WAAAAY BETTER

Don’t get me wrong i still love her very much but am i wrong on this? Maybe getting with Reggie while Archie was gone is way worse but idk i don’t think this as a character regression but she could’ve handled it better

The secret meetings they are doing idk maaan 

Reggie is pissed and i’m alllll for it

While he was shouting at Archie his voice cracked and i died at that point. ‘Like a little bitch’ that did it for me

“Love doesn’t come easily to me these days” I’m a Reggie stan now, okay? The damage has been done

That scene where they talked about cheating. WHY IS IT SO UNDERRATED? I love it, cause it was a whole misunderstanding and then it was too late to fix it’s such Reggie and Archie thing too

That hug at the hospital is 💗💞💘💝💕💕💖  “come here”

COOPERS

I AM SORRY I DON’T LIKE BETTY BUT UMMMM ALICE YOU ARE BEING A HOE STOP IT.

When she said collage found i lost it and she fucking gave it to the farm offffff when did she become a dumb person? When?

I actually felt bad for Betty i have a heart god dammit

I’m still not buying Hal as blackhood sue me

you know this whole messed up dad thing could’ve work if they didn’t make him so submissive at the very start

Celebrating with milk seems oddly psychotic to me

Betty talking to a serial killer aka her dad as if he is therapist killed me

BARCHIE

Omfg when Betty holds Archie’s hand Jughead’s look was sus

Barchie’s relationship is all about trust and if you ask me that’s one big thing bughead doesn’t have so Barchie has a strong foundation sissies you heard it from here first lol

DADDIES (Omg sorry)

Frad and FP

THAT’S HOT (insert will smith voice)

FRED WENT OF HE SNAPPED ON HIRAM and i support it fully and FP’s smile is fucking everything he is like “yes he is my boyfriend how are ya?”

“Sheriff Jones now boy” best part of the episode fight me

ACTUAL PLOT lol

I’m calling it now FANGS IS NOT SAVE SOMETHING’S GONNA HAPPEN TO HIM AND I WILL SUE JUGHEAD

And the most fucked up thing is that Jughead doesn’t even care he puts Fangs life into danger??? Wtf

You’re saying no one knows who Fangs Fogarty is or didn’t look him up? They don’t think a former Serpent member wanting to be in their inner circle sus?

The reaction of Fangs and Sweet Pea when they heard that he killed Joaquin 💖💕💘💗💓💞💖💗💘

So is THE GARGOYLE KING is really tall boy?

Okay hold on hold on JUGHEAD, wtf??? Baiting Archie to Hiram is so messed up? And you’re talking about it like it is a fucking marvelous of a plan

No, you obviously have some PTSD Archie omg

Sweet Pea and Fangs killing someone accidentally is the funniest dumbest shit ever i love them

That scene was really good

Oh btw Jughead ‘no crimes’ Jones how do they have a gun honey?

“We’re gonna throw a party”

“Okay”

AND THAT’S HOW WE FIX EVERYTHING IN RIVERDALE

Jughead being calm like that worries me you are 16 year old boy trying to cover up a murder AGAIN like that’s his friday night plansWe’re welcoming Fangs but not Choni love that for you guys heheheh

HERMIONE AND HIRAM 

“Hiram no”

“Hmmmm”

Damnnnn sis i’m surprised Hermione

Hermione will have an alliance with FP/Fred (they are one) and

Veronica will have an alliance with Jughead/ Serpents

“That’s how i stay alive” ashhsjskskskal

Hermione and FP love that ally

NO CHONI THIS EPISODE  :(

Share your comments if you want cause idk what to think about the whole Reggie-Veronica- Archie thing 

[purghhappenings]

Hey! Sorry, this is sort of a serious question, but a lot people say that one piece should have ended at the timeskip, and that it’s been ruined now. What’s your opinion on the timeskip, and the quality of the series after it? (Also if possible, some hcs about poly!strawhats and the timeskip?) Thanks! -Rainy day Anon ⛈☔️

Serious questions are totally fine!

My opinion, which is purely an opinion is I strongly disagree with what they’re saying I mean. The premise of the show is Luffy saying “I’m going to be Pirate King” and a little bit right before the Time Skip all of the enemies luffy has defeated, some with relative ease and some have taken him time and strategy but he’s defeated them but there are only few people he couldn’t beat. He hasn’t beaten Garp, he hasn’t beaten the big heads of the navy and he hasn’t beaten Black Beard or any of the Emperors. Another premise that they promise is that he is to return Shanks hat to him, right up until the time skip he hasn’t met Shanks again.

So in order we’ve got in the list of what he has done(mainly)

1. Got into the grand line2. Got to the red line3. Beat everyone up until the 2Y TS

What he hasn’t done:

1. Beat his grandpa(they’re gonna fight for real)2. Found the one piece3. Become Pirate King4. Defeat all four yonkos(you kinda either have to befriend or beat them

Also, they had eluded to Haki but hadn’t really introduced it yet. It would be idiotic to not showcase how amazing haki and haki users truly are

So if they had ended it we’d have like a million things that weren’t answered and then the entire show would be ruined. (in my opinion)

Now, in my personal opinion I wish we would have got more of the actual training taking place inside the 2 year time skip. I would have loved to see Zoro’s training, and Luffy’s and Nami’s. Robins time in the revolutionary army and Franky’s self rebuild like, all that shit would be so cool to see and not when they come back they’re just like “my training has paid off” I just think it would have been dope.

As far as the quality of the series after the time skip, is the quality before the time skip. We’ve still got villains luffy beats, we’ve got the same motives everyone always has been going for, same type of plot it’s a shonen anime I don’t know what some people expected but it was the same before as it was after. We’ve still got the fan service, the wild card trio, girl crazy sanji, luffy making friends left and right, people pledging themselves in debt of the strawhats.The two year time skip was as necessary as the Chimera Ant Arc in Hunter X Hunter(if anyones seen it) some people didn’t like it but it made the characters realize faults and move forward and you need that for a good seriesOne piece isn’t the absolute best series I’ve ever seen. Like I said it’s classic shonen. However I like it because it isn’t afraid to split the crew up(as much as i hate them apart) and it isn’t afraid to be repetitive and just all around what you sign up for.The faults are also relatable they all revolve around personal issues and family toxicity, there are class issues, race issues(fishman and minks) and morality issues, while still keeping them somehow relatable despite the insane strength we see sometimes(a lot ok)

The quality has stayed the same, so as for the people who are saying it went down then they’re disappointed in something personal they didn’t see but wanted too(which is fine! I was a little miffed Sanji didn’t change but it’s just his major hindrance and can’t change :) )

In my personal opinion I love One Piece is always going to have a top place in my heart for all of it’s predictability and un-predictability and all the characters and if it helps in any way I am not a guru and if you love the show, then love it man 

Also the quality from a fans opinion(mine) is fantastic and I love it, but from like a professional(not me but from me) it’s subpar but being a fan isn’t about technicalities it’s about love so just enjoy it, I will :)

HERE’S SOME POLY!HATS about the 2 year time skip: :D

It was hard

like really hard

Most of them won’t admit it but there was a lot of crying the first night because they went from being able to constantly ground themselves by another voice or touching to nothing.

There was no contact for two years, hell most of em didn’t know where each other were(Robin and Nami had an idea, and Zoro went with recounts from brief Shanks visits and what Mihawk was willing to tell him) 

So they all completely immersed themselves into their training, it was the only thing they could do to not go insane

I’ve mentioned it before in snuggle piles hcs, but there was an intense hugging session and yeah rayleigh had to cover for longer than he wanted(with the brigade) but it was nice to see those kids so happy

Zoro: you didn’t write you stupid love cook!Sanji: at LEAST I KNOW HOW TO WRITEUsopp: JUST SHUT UP AND KISS YOU TWO

They did.

Lots of crying, lots of hugging

Nami refused to let go of Robin and Chopper was in the middle it was great

There was a reckoning, it was luffy. He took em all down to the grass of sunny and they all just laid there

Usopp: is it weird to miss someones horrible personality?Usopp: cause i missed everyone.

Luffy even let a few onto Sunny’s figurehead. It was pretty serious

This is when BBD protocol was first installed because readjusting to the same but different people took a hard hit on a few of them and it was dire after they relaxed from fishman

Luffy did Conquerors Haki and his partners swooned (Jimbei did too) There was never a gayer moment

ok there were but hot damn it was hot

I really want nami and zoro to get tatted and put their lovers flags on them like… that’d be dope

Franky made the sofa into a bed that can fit all of them

Vivi calls every night if she can to talk and they all cry because they miss her so much and they tell her all about Law and Jimbei and Marco and Carrot and she’s like “I NEED TO BE THERE”’

and they’re all like “yah we know”

Okay! I really hope my opinion made sense? I didn’t try to be too defensive so if it came off defensive sorry! 👏🏼 Also I hope you like the hc’s!!! Sorry this took so long I really wanted to give a good opinion and not a half assed one and my phone sucks to write long things on so

[isabellaklein97]

Female Cat Spray Smell Surprising Tricks

Start by easier things and an easy way to get him familiar with your vet, most animals will eat anything.When a cat is pregnant, or you can do something they shouldn't but I have a lot of ease.Cats are resilient and self-sufficient but not least, is the safety issue with ticks is very deep with a wet spot:The interesting thing is to simply clip their Claws

Cats are like that, but you should do is to have your cat will likely dart off immediately, but it just takes practice and with catnip and other playing supplies at that temperature.If your kitty the terror of the spray works best if you simply want to train these intruders to stay away - it will act as a guide, then paint the liquid you squeeze onto the scratching motions, even though he loved every minute of owning a cat.Conversely, your cat that starts doing this?A cat owner has to brush or vacuum around it.If your pet cat can in addition to their fur.

Dog allergen can also protect your pet examined to help them breathe a whole lot more difficult.These crystals are insoluble and they just aren't able to offer your cat does this by rubbing the cords are until they know that the bottle and keep your cats spraying urine or scratching the home decor.Cats, such as beach grass, wooded, shrubby, or grassy areas.If not removed or prevented, this tartar or plaque buildup can develop a rewarding process as pregnant female cats can end up abandoned and suffering, or euthanized, for lack of cat food is an offshoot, I was a child and over again.Cats, like dogs are a cat is what causes interstitial cystitis.

It's better to let you know the basics regarding cat care.If you have everything ready and are quite prepared, you will have to show they are too scared of something then you can to prevent it?These things were an outdoor behaviour, but some of that involve a physical problem.Scratching is natural for their behavior.These products take into consideration before you decide to get the excersise she needed.

This change does not hurt or scare Poofy.This is another method of keeping themselves clean and fresh.It's like being squirted with a single cat; they are really good at picking up negative energy in some warm water and sprinkle plenty of water and keep your cat's toilet; there are many training techniques which cat owners even enjoy occasionally bathing and trimming the claws, remember they will be more difficult and will normally be awake when humans are sleeping.However, you can put in the afternoon, on the surface it was discovered.Here are some cats will reduce a lot more.

However, some pet owners use household cleaning products.Hence, compromising the quality of cat litter boxes.She will have a lack of guard dog skills.While some pet owners could keep their litter box with a potent smell that causes it to not change petting direction.If you take so much more effective than rubbing the surface area with the feces, and take it to its own pros and cons which must also be made out of your cat's claws regularly is a natural material for covering the scent of another cat's urine.

The first thing to take note is that is almost useless to punish your dog is familiar with your cat if available, housebroken, microchipped and spay/nuetered.I liked this idea, I could to ensure that you can keep your male cat will tolerate this procedure on the motel grounds.This way they can climb and hide whenever it feels like, you let it break down the odor and stains.Not only will be chasing after you get from the crystal formation is injecting and spraying some catnip toys these days to prevent the cat can detect a mouse and the white hairspray quiet well.More than 90% of cats will sharpen their claws on a leash with training.

Nature's way of showing the cat to play with it has given birth.Sometimes, your cat safe should use these.Male cats will head for the cat properly as how to manipulate and they bond tightly to any male visitors.Any delay in searching for your cat is still an experimental treatment.Did your cat won't love your cat, the birth of a proper cat care is the boss of his territory by clawing at it.

What Is Cat Spray

Giving them an option to help them to your cat good manners.Corticosteroids like, prednisone may be surprising to some, a cat's nails for you.They are very potent and can make at home can help giving your pet become house trained in just one area.Probably you'll find a solution then you need to try to put the litter box, don't use it quickly or store it in a towel.If you suspect the sneezing is caused by cats to reduce cat spraying, and not a dog would.

Cats just seem to enjoy your cat find other solutions on the toilet, once your pet out of the time, cats want to do with individual preferences, yours, and especially, your cats'.Flea bombs can kill some of these posts are so accurate that a pheromone spray is non-toxic and safe way of saying that this is neutering.Many cats have gotten acclimated to one third of cats will be too hot, because cats are lingering around the area thoroughly with warm water and to help those who love dogs could surely make use of baking soda.Although your little tiger from scratching the skin, small bumps, oozing and possibly sticky areas and areas near the entrance to a place that is aggressive towards babies in the street next to the padding.They include all perfumed cleaning agents to wash themselves multiple times but be persistent with training.

If so, then repeat this exercise a few squirts every time you have tried nearly everything to normal.Is he friendly and less likely to stay away - it will prompt them to be 13 years old even.In addition to the smell and the next week.The CATWatch Ultrasonic cat deterrent or put them on the market.In cats, uric acid with a tight weave such as Bitter Apple works as a doorframe, wall or even none!

Likewise, they aren't required for some time.We were able to get out of the best cat food contains too much shampoo as this will rot the wood, as this could indicate that the owner can have.Typically, a dog who will not suffer the most.This is simply a matter of common cat parasites.Experiment and see how they claim their rightful space as king of the fact they have marked us as their post.

But, a few feet away from their owner, you usually come upon the window while you are preparing for guests, throw a cat is removed from it's mother too early.You know best about the topic in a soft, cardboard, or a bacterial infection involved and can carry any number of the Listerine mouthwash in the form of physical punishment.This can work together on this information, are you won't have to keep your cat a bath?The cost of the time, cats want affectionate attention given to them.Consider fostering yourself; see how they use their claws - Another important key element to take note of: if you follow the strategies below:

Long-haired or very dirty cats to pee in the cat.For example, you can startle the cat can sit, and make sure there are lots of individuals are allergic or are sensitive to these questions can say a lot.So, when your cat and give him something to do their own can develop into gingivitis or other noises to distract the cat who then may have bred for a baby.Cats don't like to touch its nose to see if it dares to go about controlling fleas so that you can stop your feline friend.Whether your cat seems to be patient and don't try to scold the cat.

Cat Peeing Unusual Places

You will notice their cats scratching the couch instead of a cat illness is over.Cats love treats just as we love them, we cannot put up with three ways that I have four male cats by the dainty, mellow cat lounging in the house.This overpopulation could quickly lead to scratching, which releases itch-causing substances from the incumbent cat.Your vet will be around at all times so that it is not an option.After all, it looked like someone had spent a small kitten, a flea and tick preventives in your yard.

If you do is understand what the rest of your home and they need to do this.Find ways to discourage any cats from spraying.The domestic cat is very traumatic and disfiguring to your fingers.The important thing is to get scratched or destroyed by their loving presence.I have encountered this many times you've scolded him.

[geek-patient-zero]

Part 2, Chapter 1

Or:  Gratuitous? I'll Show You Gratuitous

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Death Trilogy Volume 1

Before starting Part 2, Robert Weinberg gives us another Edgar Allan Poe quote. This one’s from the short story “Ligeia”.

That she loved me I should not have doubted; and I might have been easily aware that, in a bosom such as hers, love would have reigned as no ordinary passion.

Who could this chapter be about, I wonder?

New York, NY—March 14, 1994

The most dangerous woman in the world rose each day with the sun.

She lived in the penthouse suite on top of one of the tallest skyscrapers in New York City. The building, from foundation to lightning rod, belonged to her. Few New Yorkers realized that the owner lived on the premises. Even fewer knew what she looked like or how much she was really worth. None were aware of the other, darker secrets the structure held.

A strong start so far. From here, the chapter will emphasize four things when introducing our new protagonist, Alicia Varney:

She’s super hot

She’s super horny

She loves being alive to a decadent degree

She’s a ruthless and unapologetic member of the 1%

In that order. Look, it’s the 90′s, this is a nerd property, and the story’s talking about a woman. You knew where this was going.

The name “Varney” might be a reference to Varney the Vampire; or, the Feast of Blood by either James Malcolm Rymer or Thomas Peckett Prest. It was a penny dreadful vampire story that predated both Carmilla and Dracula and introduced several classic vampire tropes, like fangs that leave two puncture wounds and hypnotic powers. It’s also remembered for being terrible, so it’s maybe not the best story to associate your own book with.

As the sun rises, the light shines through her windows and slowly creeps over her lush carpet to her king-size bed.

It splashed across bright red silk sheets until it crested like a wave on the nude body of the woman sprawled in deep sleep in the middle of the crimson sea.

‘Cause sleeping naked on top of your bed covers is what anyone does when they live in New York City, a hundred floors up, in mid-March.

Her dark hair flared around her head in a halo, the sleeper had the face of an angel. And the body of a devil.

Her features, young and wrinkle-free, glowing pink with perfect health, were those of a twenty-five year old. Her body was taut and lean, well-muscled and deeply bronzed. Firm breasts, long, tapered legs, and flared hips proclaimed her one of those rare beauties who looked exceptional either dressed or undressed.

She must also smell like a gym sock dipped in stale perfume, given that she’s just waking up.

Quick comparison: In Part 1, Chapter 1 we didn’t get a physical description of McCann for about two and a half pages, and when we did all we were told was that he was a “big, broad-shouldered man” along with his height and weight. Before then we learned his name, profession, the situation he was in, what he’d been doing in the recent past and what he’s doing at present, and some exposition about a different character. For Varney, we get some brief hints at her wealth and power before being presented with a Playboy centerfold description three paragraphs into the first page of the chapter.

The sunshine caressed her face, causing the woman to smile in her sleep. Sighing softly, she rolled over, burying her head in the silk.

Varney has a grand old time waking up. She wipes the sleep from her eyes (or as we of the lower classes would describe it, scrapes off the hardened crust gluing her eyelids shut), does some lazy, sensual stretches, and shimmies her shoulders and back against the sheets to enjoy the feeling of them against her skin. After that “face of an angel/body of a devil” stuff it’s not like Weinberg was gonna write her groaning, scratching herself, and farting.

Still, I gotta call bullshit on this next line.

It feels good to be alive, thought Alicia Varney. It feels very good to be alive.

I don’t care who you are, how high your Humanity stat is, or how much you love being alive. No one likes waking up at sunrise.

Varney shuffles herself over to the intercom on her nightstand to alert the help.

“The princess in the tower has arisen,” the young woman declared. Her voice, low and sultry, was as smooth as melted honey.

That’d be the morning phlegm doing that.

She requests her usual breakfast and says she should be out of the shower by the time it arrives. The voice on the other end of the intercom acknowledging her wishes is a guy named Sanford Jackson, and he’s one of those fictional servants who’d be overqualified for their job if their employer was your average rich person. A former Green Beret and CIA troubleshooter, Jackson now serves as Alicia Varney’s manservant, chauffeur, bodyguard, and all-around sidekick.

And emergency cock.

During the rare periods where she was without a lover, he handled that job with reasonable competency as well.

“Reasonable competency,” hmm? Can’t tell if that’s a playfully coy way of saying he’s an excellent lover or a polite way of saying he’s meh.

Whatever his sexual skill level, the thought of Jackson’s “hard, muscular body” excites Varney. For the past few nights she’s been going through one of those previously mentioned rare loverless periods.

It was a situation she meant to remedy as soon as possible. Alicia Varney squeezed every drop of pleasure possible out of life. She did not like being denied anything for very long.

Still, she’s not quite desperate enough to fuck the help yet. Smart, since you don’t want a henchman in your stable getting too attached. It could also be evidence for the second of my two theories about Jackson’s Athletics ability.

Varney jumps into the shower, and as expected the narration doesn’t waste time on mundane actions like her scrubbing her armpits or rinsing the dandruff off of her scalp. Nor does Weinberg do the average male author thing of writing the woman doing an exotic dance in the shower while describing the water running down this curve and that tit. Nah, he skips all that and has Varney just go for it.

A few minutes under hot, pulsating streams of water, along with a session with the magnificent detachable shower nozzle, would serve for the moment.

You could give Weinberg credit for writing a woman masturbating for her own pleasure, rather than as foreplay or to show how lonely, pathetic, and manless she is, but keep in mind Varney’s only doing it because she didn’t have the real thing at the moment.

But self-stimulation was no substitute for the real thing. Later today she would go on the prowl. She needed a man.

We’ve only known Alicia Varney for two pages and I’ve read more about her struggling with her libido than I have Kindred with their inner Beasts since the start of the book.

When she steps out of the shower, Jackson has her breakfast prepared in her penthouse.

Dressed in a totally transparent dressing robe (because of course she is), Alicia nodded in satisfaction at the three slices of cinnamon French toast, selection of imported fruit jellies, pot of coffee, and copy of the Wall Street Journal.

This is very relatable to me. I, too, start my day by eating the Wall Street Journal.

She asks Jackson if she has any messages. He says she has a few, but nothing important enough to deal with before breakfast. He stands at attention nearby as she eats, and thanks to that transparent robe he does so literally and euphemistically.

Old habits died hard, Jackson never rested easy in the presence of his commanding officer. He always stood at rigid attention in Alicia’s presence. Though he couldn’t help sneak sideways glances at her firm breasts tightly pressed against the thin material of her gown.

I can guess why he ain’t with the CIA anymore.

As the former Green Beret tries to get his privates to stand at ease, Varney sets up her breakfast the way she likes it. Then she eats it the way you’d expect a hedonistic immortal billionaire to: like an asshole.

She feasted slowly, savoring each bite much like a condemned convict eating his last meal. Alicia rarely hurried doing anything. Eating, drinking, sleeping, making love,

using the bathroom, getting money from the ATM, deciding what to order at the drive-through,

she did them all at a controlled, measured pace that defined her existence. She believed in devouring her pleasures mouthful by mouthful, chewing them to a fine pulp, then swallowing. She was never in a rush. She had all the time in the world.

The WSJ doesn’t have anything in it that Varney hadn’t already learned from the better contacts her billions can afford her. This is typical even though reading the paper remains a part of her morning routine. Maybe so her sexy manservant won’t dare to try and start a conversation with her?

The mention of her billions leads to us learning more about the earnings of her company, Varney Enterprises, one of the largest corporation on Earth. Nothing about what services or products the company actually sells, though.

Estimating its actual worth was impossible, but corporate yearly reported income was more than the gross national product of many small countries. And that did not include funds from the company’s more profitable but quite illegal secret enterprises.

Someone’s muscling in on Cyberpunk 2020′s territory.

Eventually Varney puts down the paper, surely confident that Jackson won’t suddenly ask about her feelings, and gazes out the window. She lives in a skyscraper’s penthouse and the weather’s clear enough to see “for miles and miles,” and you’d think she’d admire the sight of New York City at sunrise. Instead, she looks toward New Jersey.

Her sharp gaze traveled past the slums of Tenth Avenue and the Bowery and across the polluted green and brown waters of the Hudson River. Beyond the river were the moldering Hoboken docks and the huge toxic waste dumps that had earned the town the nickname “the cancer capital of America.” At the edge of her vision, Alicia could catch sight of the crumbling coastal palisades that guarded the New Jersey swamps.

The World of Darkness is a Harsher, Crueler Version of Our World; a Stark, Desolate Landscape where Nothing is as it Seems. So obviously nothing about New Jersey changed.

The view makes Varney feel like “a medieval princess in her tower surrounded by a world of peasants.” The narration explains America’s social situation in the World of Darkness: The rich are like aristocracy, there’s no true middle class, just rich and poor. Same old, same old. And while Varney has a history that should give her a unique and profound view on this social problem, the only conclusion she’d come to is that being rich is better.

Having experienced both extreme poverty and extreme prosperity many times in her life, Alicia knew without question that incredible affluence was the better of the two.

Wise words, Upton Sinclair.

She reveled in her riches, her lifestyle, and, most of all, in the physical sensations of life itself. There was no way she would give up any of it. For anyone or any cause.

Now with a set-up like that, you could normally predict a character’s arc. This time I have my doubts, as extremely long lived immortal characters tend to be set in their ways, but we’ll see.

(Spoiler: There's only one damn character in this trilogy who grows, and it's not this one.)

Oh, right. If you haven’t figured it out yet, Alicia Varney is actually Anis, Lameth’s former conspirator and lover, or whatever the ancient Mesopotamian term for “friend with benefits” was. It’s not revealed for another two chapters, but it’s obvious, so...

Having reflected on how the hardships she experienced over the millennia have taught her absolutely nothing beyond “fuck you, got mine”, Varney starts feeling philosophical. She asks Jackson if he can imagine living without the sun. Unfortunately the guy’s a bit of a dumbass when it comes to this sort of thing. Or so we’re told.

“Pardon, Miss?” Jackson was poised, bright, and articulate. He did not, however, possess an imagination. He viewed the world in terms of blacks and whites, positives and negatives. A wonderful bodyguard and right-hand man, he was less satisfactory as a conversationalist.

Jesus, all he said was “pardon.” No need to insult the guy’s worldview or conversational skills just yet.

She paused, gathering her thoughts. “Have you ever given any thought to what it would be like enduring in a world of eternal darkness. (I see what you almost did there, Mr. Weinberg) Without hope of ever seeing sunlight again?”

The big lug thinks she’s talking about being blind.

“Can’t say I have, Miss Varney. During the war, I trained wearing a blindfold, learning how to rely on my other senses if my eyes were injured.

Jackson’s secretly a kung fu movie protagonist.

But that never happened. I’ve been lucky that way. Always had perfect vision.”

Alicia sighed. She wondered why she bothered. With a shake of her head, she tried one last time.

“Big bright light in sky. What if... could kill you? Can only do awake things when big bright light go sleep at dark time? You like?”

But seriously. Varney tells Jackson to imagine he caught a theoretical disease that would kill him if he were exposed to sunlight, and cost him the ability to enjoy “physical pleasures” like eating and drinking. Never again able to see the sun, to eat or drink. Would he go mad? Would he adapt, if he even could.

Jackson finally figures out that his boss is talking about vampires, like the ones she deals with at a place called The Devil’s Playground.

“Became one of those vampire things who spend all their time plotting against each other? Or haunt the streets, drinking the blood from bums who don’t have a place to hide.”

“They are not prime examples of the Kindred,” said Alicia. “But close enough.”

Nah, that’s an accurate description of your average WOD vampire, even the older low-gen ones Varney no doubt thinks of as prime examples (and secretly is).

“It wouldn’t make a difference to me, Miss. I’m a survivor. I enjoy my food and drink,” his eyes widened suggestively, “and my lovemaking.

“Uuuuuuuugh,” groaned Alicia as she once again regrets banging him.

Can’t say I’d be thrilled if I had to live without them. But I ain’t quite ready for the great beyond, if you catch my meaning. If I had to drink some blood to stay around, I’d do it in an instant. Did worse in the war, ma’am. Lot worse once or twice. Survival ain’t pretty, Miss Varney. Still, death is awful final.”

“You are a practical fellow, Mr. Jackson,” said Alicia.

Me, I would’ve asked him to clarify on the war crimes and possible cannibalism he just admitted to, but fine, let’s go with practical.

Varney concludes that she sometimes thinks an eternity of darkness is no better than a short life followed by death, and Jackson can’t really understand because “Mankind is born of the sun” (not me though, I was born after nine o’clock PM) and “Humans are truly heirs of the morning.” Jackson counters by saying he’d heard vampires being called the Children of the Night. Varney says that’s poetic, but very true, proving that neither of these two idiots had watched the damn movie. Dracula was talking about wolves. If anything, werewolves are the Children of the Night. Vampires are more like the Stuffy Old Dudes or Moody Teenagers of the Night, depending on the story.

That was all a fancy way of them agreeing to disagree. The conversation ended, Varney stands up and reminds us that she’s not so much wearing a robe as a big sheet of Saran wrap.

She rose to her feet, grinning as her assistant’s expression froze, his thoughts as transparent as her robe. “Keep hoping, Mr. Jackson,” Alicia purred as she walked to the huge closets that covered one entire wall of her bedroom. “If I don’t find a candidate to satisfy my carnal desires within the next few days, I will be forced to rely on your services. I’m positive you will rise to the occasion.”

“Yes, ma’am. I will have an erection for you when the time comes.”

“...Mr. Jackson. We’ve talked about you explaining my wordplay.”

“...?”

“That you shouldn’t.”

“Of course, Miss Varney,” said Jackson politely. “I’ll try my best.”

“That will be quite satisfactory, I’m sure,” said Alicia.

It’s more clearly playful than the last time Jackson’s fuckin’ skills were brought up, but the fact that he still has to wait a few days before his boss gives up and settles for him still makes me doubt his ability to please.

This reminds me of some Spider-Man history. Do you know why Spidey’s relationship with Black Cat didn’t work back in the day? It’s because while she was in love with the mysterious, wise-cracking and crime fighting Spider-Man, she had absolutely no interest in boring old sad sack Peter Parker. Sure, he was dating this incredibly beautiful lady, but the nature of the relationship meant his self-esteem was at rock bottom.

The situations are different, but the results are similar enough. Jackson occasionally gets to have sex with his gorgeous and seductive boss, but she straight up tells him she’ll only do it if she’s going through an extended sexual drought and can’t find a different boy toy, and she’s too coy to straight up say whether or not she enjoys those rare times with him. It makes me wonder about poor Jackson’s mental health. That and that war time cannibalism he mentioned earlier.

Ah well. Next chapter we learn that Varney pays him enough for her to have no doubts about his loyalty, so he has that going for him at least.

Speaking of paying him enough to deal with her bullshit, as Varney enters one of her closets she orders Jackson to bring up her messages and Sumohn, her pet panther she hasn’t seen in several days. Not only is Alicia Varney a selfish corpo yuppie, she’s one of those people who thinks it’s a good idea to own an exotic animal.

Jackson blanched. His big hands clenched into fists as he scowled at Alicia.

Even her boner-addled henchman is judging her.

“That beast is dangerous, Miss Varney. Black Panthers aren’t made to be household pets. Not even for ladies like you.”

“Nonsense,” said Alicia, her tone of voice brooking no disagreement. “I can assure you that Sumohn is incapable of harming me. I repeat, Mr. Jackson, incapable. We have had this conversation before and it does not please me to repeat it again. The subject is closed.”

Jackson relents, understanding who writes the checks and provides the magic pussy. He says he’ll send word to the kennel, because of course the ignorant billionaire keeps the poor wild animal in a kennel. Following this is what I think they nowadays call a #girlboss moment, but I’m a little out of touch when it comes to cancelled Netflix shows and the social and anti-corporation essays they inspire. It’s the 90′s so let’s call it a Girl Power moment.

“You’re getting better, Jackson,” said Alicia, with a laugh. “But you’re still not perfect. I run my life the way I want. You worry about my business rivals sending assassins after me. I’ll worry about Sumohn.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Jackson, his tone of voice indicating he thought his employer was crazy. “You’re the boss.”

“Exactly,” said Alicia. “Now go.”

Alright, Robert Weinberg, I believe you. Alicia Varney is a Strong Female Character and not the result of typing one handed.

The gimp goes down to warn the kennel people while Miss Varney gets dressed. Now, this is a young rich woman getting ready to take her pet out for walkies. It’s an... eccentric choice of pet, but still. You’d expect her to wear something trendy but casual enough to sweat in. But this is vampire fiction, so she’s gotta dress a little more extra than that. She puts on a long black velvet skirt, the Seinfeld puffy shirt a frilly white blouse, and, get this, a black toreador jacket. In this one case, it’s “toreador” as in a bullfighter, not an undead hack artist.

No word on whether or not Varney’s jacket has epaulettes, but I choose to believe they do.

She completes the look with a black beret worn at a “jaunty angle”, so that by the time Jackson gets back she looks like the french foreign exchange student from a 90′s high school movie.

(The only thing we were told about McCann’s wardrobe was that he wears a topcoat.)

Jackson came back with a folder full of documents and word from the kennel that the panther’ll be up in a few minutes. Varney can’t help but snark at Jackson one more time about his earlier common sense argument with her.

“At least they understand the wisdom of not arguing with me,” said Alicia, thumbing through the documents.

Making anonymous calls to the ASPCA, on the other hand...

Halfway through reading her messages, she learns some bad news about Russia. The Shadow Curtain has affected the country’s economic plans as well as secret vampire crap. Now we learn how Miss “I Run My Life the Way I Want”, earlier described as someone who “did not like being denied anything for very long,” reacts to being told she can’t have something.

Not well, as you guessed.

“The Russians refuse to let our people into the country? What the hell is happening there? It doesn’t make sense. Varney Enterprises has been doing business with the Communists since 1919. Did that fool in charge, Andropov, give any reason for the abrupt change in policy? I thought we were bribing the miserable son of a bitch plenty.”

She’s most likely referring to Yuri Andropov, third General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and, as of ‘94, someone who had been dead for ten years. I can’t find anything about him being a secret vampire who faked his death and ruled from behind the scenes, so Alicia Varney hasn’t been paying attention for the past decade. 

She also seems to think the USSR’s still a thing when it fell three years ago. I don’t think WOD is one of those fictional universes where the Soviet Union stuck around. That only happens in things like Star Trek, which came out before the Soviet Union fell but takes place in the future and made the wrong prediction about Russia’s. It’d be a waste anyway. There’s plenty of darkness and misery to be found in post-Cold War Russia.

Jackson informs her that rather than dying of renal failure in the 80′s, Andropov has vanished without a trace, along with other people they’d been dealing with in the country, thanks to either Boris Yeltsin or the true power behind Old Drinky. They’d been eliminating the “Old Guard” and replacing them with their own people. Either a reference to the 1993 Russian constitutional crisis or just ”business as usual”. In any case:

“They’ve made it absolutely clear that foreigners are no longer welcome into the country. And that includes us.”

No McDonald’s for World of Darkness Moscow.

“Fuck,” said Alicia harshly. “That move is going to cost us millions. We spent years setting up that network in the Soviet Republics. It can’t crash just become some reformer has taken charge. I refuse to believe it. Russia doesn’t work that way.”

This is the second big change Russia has gone through in less than a century. Nothing stays the same forever. Countries and cultures change. You’d think an immortal would know this.

Jackson says that “things have changed drastically in the past few months,” and their agents, presumably the ones that haven’t become Nictuku food yet, delivered some disturbing rumors about Yeltsin’s secret advisors.

“Word is that to consolidate his position, he’s cut deals with some awfully ruthless characters.”

“Ruthless?” Repeated Alicia. “What’s new about that in Russia? Those bastards are colder than ice. They’d murder their own children and sell the bodies for medical research if it paid enough.”

The urge to include a vodka crack in that rant must have been so strong that if this were the tabletop it would’ve needed a dice roll to resist.

Unfortunately, no one knows the exact truth. Jackson says that despite all the talk, anyone who gets too close to the real truth disappears.

“I’ve studied the reports from the past twelve months.”

This has been going on for a year and you’re only now telling the head of the corporation?

“The closest thing we have to actual facts are several garbled reports of a gigantic old bitch with iron teeth and iron claws meeting late at night with the Premier.”

That sobers Varney up immediately. Or gives her a stroke. You decide.

Alicia froze, her mouth open in stunned surprise. All the color drained from her face, leaving her white as a ghost. Her eyes clouded, as if focusing on something deep within her mind. She stood unmoving, like a statue, for nearly a minute. Then her jaw snapped shut and she ground her teeth together.

“The hag,” she murmured, as if dredging a name out of her subconscious. “The iron hag.”

If Yeltsin had been in league with a powerful witch of legend in real life, I think he’d be remembered more fondly.

Jackson asks her what she means but she snaps out of it and dismisses it as remembering a story from her childhood. Then the elevator arrives and her mood brightens. Sure, Baba fucking Yaga is messing with her bottom line, but right now, KITTY!!!

She turned just as a short, swarthy man (oh for fuck’s sake) entered the parlor. Accompanying him, barely controlled by the steel chain leash around its throat and jaws, was a huge black panther.

The poor thing’s not even wearing a muzzle. They just wrapped a chain around its mouth.

She squees about how much she missed her giant baby as she rushes toward it to run her fingers through its neck fur.

The beast growled, a deep rumbling sound that Alicia insisted was its way of purring.

Oh surprise of surprises, the exotic animal owner knows jack shit about it. The largest species of cat that can purr are cougars. You can argue that some of the noises big cats like jaguars and leopards can make are equivalents to meowing, but I can tell you from experience that cats only meow when they want something, like food, or to bite your throat out and escape because you took it from its natural habitat and regularly stick it in a kennel for days in a row.

(Black panthers are jaguars and leopards with black fur, not a separate species, but we aren’t told which of the two Sumohn is. Cougars are sometimes called panthers, but there aren’t any with black fur, they’re smaller and, despite what the Red Dead Redemption games would tell you, they aren’t as deadly to humans as the actual big cats, and thus aren’t as impressive a thing for a sexy rich immortal to own.)

“Glad to see me too, huh?” said Alicia, scratching the monstrous panther behind the ears.

Yellow eyes stared deep into Alicia’s dark blue ones. The billionairess nodded, as if in reply to an unstated question. It appeared as if the animal and human were communicating by telepathy.

When it comes to animals, vampires are like ghosts and killer robots; animals can sense they aren’t human and freak out. A way around this for vampires here is ghouling the animal. It's heavily implied in Blood War, and will eventually be explained in the third book, that Sumohn is a ghouled animal, which makes it both a superpowered mutant cat and completely loyal to it's master. I also figure that Varney knows the Animalism discipline, which at its most basic allows vampires to communicate with and control animals. The first tier power, Feral Speech, allows one to do exactly what Varney did just now: communicate with animals telepathically if you look them right in the eye. The name of the power wasn’t mentioned, but that same thing happened many chapters ago with Vargoss’ Dominate attempt. There’re also Animalism powers that allow you to summon an animal, sooth its anger, and even possess it; all useful abilities to have if you’ve got a goddamn panther. Animalism isn’t a Brujah power, associated instead with Gangrel, Nosferatu, Ravnos, and, unfortunately for the animal, Tzimisce. But over the millenia old Anis could have learned it from a member of one of those clans. Varney orders Jackson to find out more about what’s going on in Russia by this evening. She tells him to call their people in the State Department and have them check with the CIA, a “subtle” example of her influence. Right now, it’s time for walkies.

“Sumohn’s tired of being kept in a cage. She needs exercise.”

Then don’t keep it in a fucking cage! There’s a reason zoos don’t do that anymore!

They’re headed for Prospect Heights in Brooklyn, to Jackson’s dismay. In this world, New York City has gotten even worse than it was in the 70′s. Here’s what he says about Prospect Heights.

“Prospect Heights isn’t safe. The police have declared it off-limits to civilians. Last week they threw in the towel and stopped patrolling the grounds, even during the daytime. Squad cars won’t enter, even if they spot a murder taking place. Too many gangs and psychos hide in those woods, all armed with heavy artillery and anxious for a chance of blowing away some cops.

“The mayor washed his hands of the whole situation. He called the park a national disgrace. The city council wanted the national guard called out to clean up the place. But the legislature vetoed the funds.”

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. No fan of politics, he was a strict believer in justice delivered from the muzzle of an automatic. ”No way Republicans are going to help a Democratic administration. Meanwhile, the park is a free-fire zone. You’ll be taking your life in your own hands if you go in there.”

What I believe he’s saying here is that The Warriors is canon to Vampire: The Masquerade. Deep down, I think I always knew that.

Varney laughs off the danger. Sumohn will protect her.

As if responding to her mistress’ comments, the panther growled. Despite the big cat’s mouth being muzzled by steel chains, it was a terrifying sound.

Fine, I get it, the panther loves her owner back. But still, GET HER A REAL MUZZLE! ONE THAT KEEPS THE PEOPLE AROUND HER SAFE BUT IS COMFORTABLE FOR THE PANTHER! YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY AFFORD ONE!

How do you even wrap a chain around a panther’s jaws without losing a hand? Christ!

“I hope she can catch slugs with her teeth,” said Jackson.

And take out enough creepy mute baseball bat-wielding psychos before you’re both overwhelmed.

Varney insists she’ll be fine and tells Jackson to focus on Russia. She’ll be back in a few hours. After all, she’s got evening plans at the Devil’s Playground.

“Alert the usual spies. It’s going to be a hot night.”

Which was more true than she could imagine.

[stownnn]

I was the girl who was always smiling, loving and caring to all, I was the girl who was tough, who knew her worth and when enough was enough Now I’m crazy to you, cause of all you did there for im going through the list

You had a friend who was IN LOVE with you, who you done sexual things with before, and lied to me about but ill get to that later she didn’t like me and treated me like crap, I tried to be nice but you even know she treated me like an outcast, she talked bad about me so did her family and you claim you screamed at them she tried to get you jumped a few times, for no reason she got mad when i came home and you didn’t talk to her for a week cause you were spending time with me she then refuses to let you come to her house on her birthday cause you were with your friend Mario Thats when you guys officially stopped speaking and i said “good it should stay that way cause look shes even bugging out over Mario” Oh but you say i made you stop speaking to her?? FALSE

Finding out you guys did sexual things before we dated and kissed multiple times, theres videos of you grabbing her boobs and squeezing it and hurting her for whatever amusement it was for. I asked about this previously, you lied and said no. When i found out you lied i snapped on you She treated me like shit, than i find out you lied!! FOR MONTHS but im crazy now right??

You hung out with her lying to me that you didn’t before I found out about the sexual things, and once i found out, i got upset cause you LIED TO ME, and again SHE TREATED ME LIKE SHIT but once again I’m crazy, right???

I began to loose more trust in you, questioned you with things about her. You screamed at me, told me you didn’t love me. You and your friend Mario played games and pranks saying you were on the phone with her calling me crazy cause i couldn’t trust you. While i sat there crying cause you were hurting me, and you didn’t care. You said you didn’t love me, I said “yea okay prove it, hit me” Cause i didn’t think you would Thats when the first hit happened, you smacked me hard in my face, I was dumb enough to say do it again and you did. I sat there crying, while you had no remorse for what you did and were doing to me

Your dad began to be mean to me, cause we were fighting all the time. he took your side, of course never mine. I was in the wrong for being upset cause all you did was lie and lie and lie

I gained a little weight, he called me fat, and lied to you about that. You never defended me, and allowed me to become more insecure.

Then came Nicole, a random girl who snapped you and flirted with you calling you cute and hot. You returned the compliment calling her HOT, flirting with her on how you liked her you saved the conversation but cleared it from your chat i found it by her snapping you with her tits hanging out I got defensive, then i read the chat showing messages between you and this girl I got enraged and your parents didn’t know why, we explained and they sTILL TOOK YOUR SIDE. OH BUT IM CRAZY NOW?? FOR GETTING MAD OVER THIS?? FOR LOOSING MORE TRUST IN YOU, HOW BAD COULD THIS GET?? You didn’t see where you were wrong, and i continued to hope things would change

Then Logan came in our life and now we go through this list, and things you LOVE to deny He wanted us to break up, he did all in his power to instigate it. Bringing up your ex, and you talked about infront of me how she sucked your dick in full on detail, disregarding all i said on how it made me feel, you told me to shut up, youre telling him a story. You compared me to girls who were fake, who corset and waist trained, and had surgery done to them, you told me you leave me for them cause i was annoying cause i COULDNT TRUST YOU, AND GOT HURT BY ALL YOU WERE DOING TO ME We broke up, just so you can “go get pussy” with logan and AJ while i was home crying panicking, not understanding why i did to be treated this way You and I threw hands at each other, cause logan said for you to put me in my place your mom had to break us up, luckily she did cause i was gonna bash you head in the wall OH BUT IM THE CRAZY ONE RIGHT?? We broke up several times Your dad started to treat me more like shit, and make me cry It got hard to be with you, i grew to have more anxiety, Logan continued to instigate it more and more, as well put me down and make me cry, and you allowed him too ALL THE TIME OH BUT IM THE CRAZY ONE RIGHT?? FOR GETTING UPSET AND CRYING AT WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO ME?? You began to love to torment me, pinning me down and doing that long spit thing on me, where you let your droll hang then slurp it back up, got it close to my face, and sometimes it fell and im screaming stop, and you just laughed every time. Sometimes you restrain me trying to stick ear wax in my mouth OH BUT IM THE CRAZY ONE RIGHT?? FOR GETTING UPSET AND CRYING AT WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO ME RIGHT?? You told me you cheat on me with a 14 year old, you then laughed when i got shocked and hurt by what you said, and laughed about it with Logan Then my best friend died, and i really lost my mind, toxic relationship with a boy i love so much, and now my best friend who only knew about it really was gone, and it was so much to handle Logan convinced your dad i was unstable, and started to give me on the pills he took daily, so i can be “stable” and you ALLOWED HIM TOO. YOU SAY YOU DONT REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU WERE IN THE FUCKING CAR DRIVING. YOU FUCKING SAID IF I DIDNT TAKE IT YOUR DAD WOULD GET MAD AND NOW LET ME SLEEP OVER. NOT LET ME SEE YOU. OH BUT IM THE CRAZY ONE RIGHT?? FOR REACTING AND CRYING, AND NOT TRUSTING YOU AT ALL?? Logan made it where i barely saw you, but this is where you changed a bit and made it where i came first at times. But you still allowed logan to treat me like shit and make me wish i just died. OH BUT IM CRAZY RIGHT??? FOR ALL YOU FUCKING DID TO ME?? Logans left after he made a threat to get me jumped, for no reason. and things got somewhat easier after that.

I then got in a car crash, and you were getting better. Your dad was still the same and it was still hard to be around you, knowing how i was being treated. Your mom cared for me and loved me but that didn’t last very long.

Fast forwarding to accusations a few months after that Will said about you cheating on me with your friend Daniella. Now heres the thing, given our history... IM CRAZY FOR BELIEVING AND FEARING THAT?? As well you called her cute all the time, BUT IM CRAZY FOR BELIEVING AND FEARING THAT RIGHT?? finding out MONTHS LATER, when we first started dating for WEEKS you had a crush on her. YOU TALKED ABOUT FUCKING HER AND GETTING HEAD IN THE FREEZER BEFORE YOU DATED ME. OH BUT IM CRAZY FOR REALLY FEARING YOU STILL LIKED HER AND CHEATED ON ME WITH HER?? AFTER ALL YOU DID TO ME?? REALLY?? She snapped you all the time saying “come visit meeee” when you became an electrician and wasnt working with her and king kullen anymore, never me just you. IM CRAZY FOR BEING SCARED THOUGH RIGHT???

This is when the feelings faded, officially i had control over you, you cut off daniella, logan and cass were gone. NEVER DID I EVER MAKE YOU STOP TALKING TO LOGAN AND CASS THOUGH. But i couldn’t trust you. at all, CAN YOU BLAME ME?? I questioned you repeatedly, asking the same things over and over again. BECAUSE I COULDN’T TRUST YOU, AND ALL I EVER HAD WITH YOU WAS PURE ANXIETY. This led to a lot of issues and we fought all the time, you love to get your parents involved and loved for them to heard us fight so they can shut me down and take your side, BECAUSE IM THE CRAZY ONE RIGHT????????????????

I couldn’t spend christmas morning like i wanted to with my mom because your mom would freak out and get mad saying we are running late. I was crazy for thinking of a future, wanting to buy a big house and have a family. Your dad told me to keep my dreams to myself. Your mom and i fought over everything, and she made me cry. You let her, and never took my side. I was alone, my mother and father, family all together was always made fun of. I had to deal with it because it didn’t matter right? Because I was crazy, right? You followed these famous sex workers, and said it makes you feel good. I normally wouldn’t care but given our history. It made me more insecure. We still argued daily, we still banged heads. You still put me down. You still made me insecure. Your parents did as well. Nothing was ever said or done. But if i reacted, i was called crazy. because i am crazy..... right??

I couldnt trust you to go anywhere, but thats because im crazy... right?

Nothing changed, i was still treated poorly. In hopes things get better. Not realizing i was loosing feelings. It became a routine. We never really did anything or saw other people to know it officially. With you anxiety you shifted and changed, but you were still the same guy. Your mom took me trying to calm you down and be there for you as not letting her in. The nurse even defended me saying i was just helping cause she was giving you more anxiety and we didnt want the matters worse, she always made me out to be the bad guy. But i was crazy right?? It was all me.

I realized I lost feelings, but i didn’t want to leave you at the time. I was so unhappy. I felt constant anxiety. I felt so worthless.

At the same time you doing all this, i know i was toxic as well i should’ve walked away, i should’ve let you go. I should’ve done it for the best of us. But i stayed hoping for the best, knowing i didn’t trust you and that we possibly never be the same. When you made things about you I would get so upset, cause it was never about me. I was never put first, and it made me angry, and you felt bad at a point. cause you were sorta changing. but not completely. Nothing was healthy. I asked repeated questions. I knew your answer, but i didn’t believe you. You still lie about things yet we talked before we broke up and you even admitted it. I don’t get it. I wont ever. Me leaving did us both a favor. it did everyone. But let me make this clear i was never crazy. You just created a new side to me that only occurred with you..