#cause god forbid I fall for someone normal for once

[rheindell]

Hello and welcome to the world of my bad, bad taste in fictional men PART 2

this BITCH

sir, what pinky promise did you break??

[fandomzwriterk]

Can you write about Smoke x female reader and Smoke trying to ask the reader out on a date?

A/N: I gotchu👍 Also we’re starting the trend of “todays chapter is brought to you by****” Anyways this chapter is brought to you by the song Lose My Breath by Stray Kids & Charlie Puth

Warnings: none just fluff

Early morning at the Shirai Ryu…

You were up and walking around one of the training rooms, stretching and trying to get relaxed and not stiff like you just laid on a ton of bricks. You had fallen asleep once again on the floor from last nights training. How you ended up in your bed, you didn’t know but regardless, you had things you needed to do. You were the only one up, not even the Lin Kuei brothers were up this early. At least that’s what you thought. You had just gotten a wooden dummy set up, making strikes at the stomach, legs, and the neck which was nice since you couldn’t get hit back, just learning to control speed right now. You did this at least ten times, three minutes each just making combos on the wooden figure.

“Somebody’s up early.” You heard behind you

You spun around after knocking the dummy back onto the ground. You didn’t mean too, but the strength you held back and the shock of being caught boosted your ability to let go of what you were holding back. There, right behind you, was Tomas standing with his arms crossed and his eyes staring you down. He was leaning against the wall, watching you with such intent.

“How long have you been there?”

“Not long. I knew someone was up this early, so I just wanted to see who it was. Didn’t expect it to be you though.”

“Well I want to train away from Johnny and Kung Lao. Elder gods forbid they let me have one day without them making a mess or distraction.”

Tomas moved to walk towards you in the center of the room, seeing his eyes focus on you and not what you had been doing.

“If you and your brothers were around more I’d ask you for help but you three are gone so much I-“

“Well I’m here now aren’t I?”

You nodded. Tomas wanted to see what you were doing so why not indulge him? It’s not like he’d hurt you either. Out of the three brothers, it was obvious Tomas liked you the most. Whether out of intrigue or friendliness, you’d yet to figure that one out.

“Come on, I promise I won’t hurt you.”

You only nodded as Tomas charged you, causing you to jump to the side. You pushed the dummy far away, almost making it hit the wall as Tomas spun around and swung with his karambit aiming for your body. He was pulling his strikes, which wasn’t normally how he trained. You blocked his arm and pushed his dominant arm that held the blade. He took a step back, smoking about five feet away from where you were and posed to have you attack him.

“Come on Y/n I know you can go harder than that.”

He wasn’t teasing with his words, he wanted you to train with him right now. You took a step as he used a smoke bomb to get closer to you, quickly closing the gap as you went to punch at him. You noticed his blade wasn’t sharp as you both clashed and were pushing each other with your forearms. Tomas was pushing forward just as much as you were, trying to see who was stronger. You kicked his calf, causing him to move his leg forward while he grabbed your gi top, pulling you back to him whole you both tripped each other. Tomas hit the ground first, you falling on top of him, sitting on his waist. He held his blade up near your throat while you readied a punch. You both froze, realizing you had gotten Tomas down first.

“Ha! I got you.”

“Yeah yeah I was going easy on you.”

You rolled off of him, letting him sit up as you sat next to him. He was out of breath, quite quickly which was odd since he was good at keeping composed all the time.

“God it’s so hard to breathe.”

He pulled his mask off, tossing it behind him as you saw his face red and burning. He was panting hard, how did he lose his breath so easily?

“You’re just out of practice.” You joked

He wiped his forehead with his arm, turning his head to smile at you.

“Maybe I have other reasons too.”

“And what might that be?”

“I’m not going to give in that easy.”

“Oh do you want me to beat it out of you?”

“Go ahead. I’m not pulling back this time.”

You both rolled away from each other, now standing face to face with a large gap between you two. Neither of you moved, your eyes drifted around as Tomas swung his karambit around in his usual “I’ve so got this” type of attitude. You might be smaller than him, not as strong as him, but your small size made up in speed. If you tried hard enough, you could definitely beat him.

“Come on Y/n I thought you wanted to beat me.”

You ran up, readying your own small practice blade while Tomas did the same. You both clashed in the middle, putting weight on each other with your forearms once more. You watched Tomas’ eyes as they followed up and down trying to find a way to hit you. He pushed you back, his leg swinging for your head. You did the same, kicking his leg with yours. Tomas swung his karambit to hit your nose, but you quickly blocked the side of your head by covering it. You went to punch his stomach while he pulled out a smoke bomb to move behind you. He was ready to strike, but you were faster. You squatted down and kicked your leg behind you while you spun to face him. The hit to his ankle made him stumble and you noticed he was quickly out of energy as his stomach hit the ground hard.

“You alright there Smokey?”

No reply and Tomas jumped at you, holding you close as he rolled over you, taking you with him as he hit the floor. Your face was mashed into his chest while his arms held you tightly.

“What’re you gonna do about it-“

You grabbed one of his smoke bombs, setting it off right on top of him making him let you go as you ran a little ways away. The smoke was thick enough to fill the room, so you tried to move as quietly as possible. The faint outline of his dark grey hair could be seen, so you went to move behind him since his vision was unclear, and now it was your turn to fight back.

“That was a cheap trick Y/n. I didn’t know you play dirty.”

He was looking around for you as the smoke began to clear. He was right in front of you, his back to you not noticing you quite yet. You jumped forward, sending both of you down to the ground. Just as you touched his back with only the tips of your fingers, Tomas grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a hug while he rolled over you with him above you.

“Nice try.”

His hands held down your wrists while he had one leg between your legs and the other on the outside of your leg. You struggled against him, but his weight was fully on top of you and had you pinned on the ground. His smile had that classic smug expression, noticing you had lost and he had all the power.

“I know we said that if you won I’d tell you but I think I’m going to tell you anyways even if you lost.”

His eyes softened, letting you go and sitting back on his heels. You crawled a little bit away from him, doing the same as you both stared at each other.

“You know Y/n, I’ve never said anything remotely close to what I’m going to say but-“

His face was red again, holding something back in his mind.

“I think you’re… beautiful. I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

He held his hands out, his palms up as a gesture to say he wanted you to put your hands on his. You did, feeling that funny little feeling you’ve had for Tomas all these years. His eyes drifted from your hands to your face. You were sure he was staring into your eyes.

“I’ve loved you for a long time, I just never had the courage to tell you after… you know.”

He was talking about Shang Tsung and his so called “reign of terror”, but you all had won so there’s no need to worry anymore.

“After all of that, mostly from watching Bi Han betray us… I knew I needed somebody like you to be by my side. No, not needed, more like wanted. What I’m trying to say is-“

You quickly move up and placed your lips on his, stopping his words right then and there. He kissed back, but you knew he was in shock. You pulled back, intertwining your hands together.

“I’ve always loved you Tomas, and of course you’ll always have me.”

He smiled, his eyes bright and shinning with the excitement of something you couldn’t quite place. He pulled you into his chest, placing his arms around you in a warm and tight hug. He buried his face in your neck, and you could feel his smile on your skin.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

The End…

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed! I’m so sorry it took so long😭😭😭

[zorosbeau33]

You get sick~ Omegaverse One Piece Headcanon Part 1

❖ Todays stars: Sabo/Luffy x Omega gender neutral reader

❖ Headcanon, fluff, comfort

❖ Tw: Illness

❖ wc: 1100

❖ Part 2 Coming soon! ❖ Masterlist ❖

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

I hope this brings you a little bit of laughter and a smile!

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Now then, this alpha baby gumgum drop button over here…so many people think he would miss the signs at first. And perhaps he’d miss that you are slightly quieter than normal. Or that your sneezes are a bit more frequent. Maybe even that you slept in way later than you normally would have. 

EXCEPT this man is enamored with you, and one of his favorite things is burrowing his face into your neck to take deep breaths of your scent. 

The moment you get sick your scent betrays it, and his frown shows he has noticed before you even feel any symptoms. Thus despite you having assured him you are okay Luffy is secretly on guard.

Its not obvious to anyone really unless like Robin they analyze every bit of his body motions. 

He has a hand or arm around or on you at all times

Constantly checking his volume isn’t too loud for you with subtle glances

He is paranoid a little and keeps snuffling your throat far more than usual

Once your symptoms hit he is wrapping you up in his arms and carrying you quickly to Chopper. All previous consideration for his volume level gone as he screams for the medic and for Nami. 

He holds your hand the entire time (unless you and Chopper allow him to wrap himself around you like a boa constrictor. Clinging out of worry and need to protect).

If its to soon to tell what you have he gets slightly distressed. He doesn’t want to wait for you to possibly feel worse in order for you to be able to get treatment. His whining will know no ends

If they do figure out what is wrong he for once will listen to every word Chopper says and try to stick to them to a T in order for you to get better

If Chopper mentions a warmer climate or cooler climate will do you good he instantly commands Nami to find the safest path to such a climate asap

Yes safest, the need to ensure you can properly rest, swaddled up in your nest out of a possibly dangerous path is tantamount to him

He does leave your side often. To spare with the others or check with Chopper if there's anything else he can do for you. His boundless energy needs to be let out, but the minute he feels he can he rushes back to you for snuggles

You have never smelled more like Luffy a day in your life

He is constantly nuzzling and scenting you to assure you of his presence and care.

Nothing will stop him from this unless it causes you actual pain (maybe the illness gave you sensitive skin)

He understands that you need a certain diet of food too to get stronger and he’s trying to understand it. Hounding Sanji to make you “CHICKEN SOUP WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF GINGER CHOPPER SAID BLAND FOOD AND LOTS OF THINGS LIKE GINGER AND TUMURIC-” 

Thank gods for Sanji, because Luffy doesn’t in his panic comprehend that putting five pounds of fresh ground ginger into the soup would in fact make it not bland 

Overall Luffy is very tender and loving. He looks like a lost puppy the entire time you are sick and tries to talk quietly for you even if you say it's okay to make noise.

He doesn’t get sick with you but goodness if he doesn’t feel awful seeing you suffer

GOD FORBID someone outside the crew/pack gets too close to you during this time. Luffy will either knock them out with his Haki or if they withstand that, the savage alpha growl that leaves his chest and the look of murder in his glowing eyes will have them peeing themselves

This happy-go-lucky Alpha? His professional smile falls immediately

The guilt of holding you in his arms nearly crushes him. Heart sinking into his toes as he gently cradles you into his chest, rushing you back to your shared nest. Gloved fingers suddenly bared as he blames himself for your current state.

He is so tender and gentle regardless of how well or bad off you are. This isn’t like when you get wounded in battle, this hurts him in new unforeseen ways.

His scnet muddled with worry as he whispers soft promises to make you feel better as quickly as he can.

Sabo’s mind is full of self doubt and blame. Maybe if he was home more, or if he hadn’t taken you on that mission to the Icy Plains of the Northern Isle. But he just feels this is all his fault for being far too busy all the time. Maybe he would have noticed sooner and been able to stop it before this point if he had paid a bit more attention?

Even if you assure him it's not his fault. These things just happen sometimes he is still frowning fingers trailing gently down your cheek, he doesn’t recall getting sick like this, that is after he Ace and Luffy learned how to cook and no longer gave themselves food poisoning.

If you are ill with something he doesn’t know how to treat then he will enlist Koala and Dragon. Not one or the other both, you are too important to risk any more details being missed or possible treatment options.

He is so delicate when he treats you, loving to hold you in his arms as he helps you bathe. And no you can’t talk him out of this, it's his way of atoning for not noticing sooner.

The best food and medicine he can get his hands on will be yours. He curls around you and watches you rest, ensuring you are comfortable and his soothing scent is right here for you whenever you want a whiff.

He doesn’t scent you too much, he doesn’t want to rub all over you and jostle you.

However, if you ask him he will push his scent out and tuck your face into his neck right against his glands. There is never a moment before this that his scent ever smelled so tender.

Koala took several photos before his growls turned into fiery glare and she ran away.

He does still ask her for help, calling it an equal exchange for her snooping. She’s a good friend and does take on a huge chunk of his work so that he can be with you.

She and Hack are both secretly glad, because even though he’s fretting he is also finally getting some rest

[jedi-enthusiast]

I just came across a post someone made where they basically just said that Padme telling Anakin “it’s human to be angry” after he commits the Tusken Massacre is fine because she was “empathizing with him” and also criticizing the SW fandom via satire for criticizing Padme for that and saying that there was still good in him.

So one thing I need people to understand before they ever start getting on the- “you can’t criticize Padme, she did nothing wrong, she was just in love” -soapbox, is that her and Anakin’s love story is inherently toxic on both ends.

There is no version of their story that ends well if they stay together.

Anakin is a narcissistic abuser*, and Padme is an enabler of his behavior.

(*Keep in mind, when I say “Anakin is an abuser,” I mean the emotional abuser sort—as he doesn’t ever physically harm her until RotS)

This post is primarily about Padme, though, so I’ll just make another post analyzing Anakin—if that’s something y’all would be interested in.

—————

Think about it, though.

Anakin commits mass murder, including the murder of literal children, and Padme—someone who the fandom loves to point to as being morally perfect—basically says that it’s fine because being angry- (and committing mass murder because of it ig) -is normal.

She even rewards him by marrying him like, what is it, a day later? And she never tells anyone about it because god forbid Anakin face any consequences.

Anakin almost beats a man to death and then blames Padme for her own assault, she says he scares her and they need to take a break…but then she goes back to him soon after and apparently forgets all about the whole- “almost beating a man to death” -thing and is so excited to raise a family with him.

Because growing up in a household where their father regularly gets incredibly angry, and physically violent when he is, totally won’t traumatize the kid or anything! Raising children with a child-murderer totally isn’t cause for concern!

Anakin takes part in a genocide, massacres the Temple, ONCE AGAIN MURDERS CHILDREN…and she’s still begging him to stay with her so they can raise their perfect little family on Naboo.

And apparently he’s still a good person.

Right.

—————

Anakin never receives any consequences or pushback from Padme for his actions/behavior and, on the rare occasions she does push back, she goes running back to him—plowing over her own boundaries—almost immediately because she refuses to let go of her own delusional fantasies about their relationship.

That is what people are criticizing for, not for falling in love in the first place.

Anakin has his own set of issues that make the relationship toxic, but Padme also takes part in that toxicity by enabling his behavior—and people are well within their rights to criticize her for it, just like they should criticize Anakin.

[aeoki]

Blackjack - Gifts Will Not Arrive: Chapter 1

Location: Yumenosaki Studio Characters: Arashi & Mika Season: Autumn

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< The next day. Yumenosaki Academy Studio – “Knights’” gathering place. >

Mika: Ohh, and then?

Arashi: So I gave it straight to him!

I don’t know if Ritsu-chan just likes battling or hates Christmas, but it looks like he has zero motivation for this year’s “Star Fest”...

He says that Christmas is essentially a “celebratory day for couples” in modern-day Japan!

It’s fine when you’re a kid, though – since all you have to do is to wait excitedly in bed to see what Santa brings you.

But once you’ve grown up and learnt the concept of romantic love, then Christmas is basically the same as Valentine’s Day.

Mika: Ngh~ I’ve heard that sorta opinion a lot. Plenty of magazines tend to have articles ‘bout dates and stuff during Christmas.

Arashi: Right? We’re idols from the old era where dating isn’t allowed, but we’re humans too, so it’s natural for us to fall in love!

Neither God nor Santa would forbid us from having romantic feelings!

Mika: Ngh~... Naru-chan is burnin’ up with quite a temper. It’s a fiery Naru-chan.

Arashi: Of course I’d be burning with anger! Sure, it’s not like I have any plans every year, but it’s still something I look forward to! I love the warm atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re floating on clouds!

But a lot of things happened last year and I was in a bad mood, so I want to be happy and spend Christmas in good spirits this year!

Mika: Uuu. Sorry, Naru-chan… That was ‘cause of me, right?

I was also feelin’ kinda weird ‘round this time last year and I was the one who made you lose your temper, right?

Arashi: I didn’t lose my temper – You’re my friend, so I was worried about you.

Mika: That’s what everyone who’s angry says… It couldn’t have been helped – You probably saw me as an eyesore who you were arguin’ with on stage.

Arashi: That’s standard business with us. We’re always rushing around on stage.

Mika: Yeah but I should also reflect on my behaviour…

I got confused when Nazuna-nii appeared wearin’ “Valkyrie’s” outfit when I was feelin’ unwell and nervous.

But I think I’ll be able to stand on stage without feelin’ anxious this year.

Arashi: Yeah, we’ll be participating individually instead of in our units this year.

On top of that, we won’t be battling it out with someone else and it’ll just be a peaceful event where we’ll be making everyone smile.

I regret getting so agitated during “Tanabata Fest”, so I want to be the “normal Arashi Onee-chan”, who’s cute and innocent, for the other “S1s”.

But it doesn’t look like anyone in “Knights” is feeling up for it.

Mika: Ahaha. They probably just don’t wanna move about so much ‘cause they’re cold.

Arashi: You think my members are such cowards? They’ll be completely fine even if they’re sent to the North Pole!

But, you know, Tsukasa-chan is getting all stressed about being in charge of “Knights” and he himself doesn’t seem to be on his mind – all he has in his head is “SS”.

I don’t know if Ritsu-chan is busy with personal affairs or whatever, but he doesn’t have any motivation to do anything for Christmas or any of the religious events.

Mika: Ngh~ He is a vampire, huh. Ritsu-kun has those sorts of preferences.

Arashi: I bet he’s just taking advantage of the nature of those holidays to slack off. This big sister here won’t let him do that. Christmas should be enjoyed with family.

Mika: Still, this year’s “Star Fest” is individual participation… If Ritsu-kun doesn’t feel like takin’ part in it, then there’s nothin’ we can do ‘bout it.

I don’t think you have the right to force him to take part, Naru-chan.

Arashi: I know I don’t have the right, but I’m just saying that I’ll be lonely! Geez, I’ll look like a fool if I’m the only one getting excited all by myself!

Mika: Ahaha… I’ll be takin’ part too so I’ll do my best to make sure you’re not feelin’ lonely, Naru-chan.

Arashi: You’re so sweet, Mika-chan~ I love you to bits ♪ I’d also love to swap Ritsu-chan out with you!

Mika: Ritsu-kun didn’t do anythin’ wrong… There’s “SS” too – I think it’s smart not always goin’ full-out and slackin’ when appropriate, though.

Arashi: That’s not being smart – it’s called being sly! And it’s not cute at all!

Mika: “Knights” isn’t a unit that’s based on being cute.

Arashi: Yeah but… Geez, whose side are you on, Mika-chan?

Shouldn’t you be agreeing with what I’m saying at times like this?

Mika: That’s not what a friend would do… They have to disagree when they should disagree.

Just like how you’re always helpin’ me out, Naru-chan.

Arashi: Uuu~... That’s not fair, putting it like that. You’ve grown, Mika-chan – this must be the fruit of my teachings.

Mika: Yup ♪

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[kaerimichirami]

帰り道 / kaerimichi　[PT 1]

It was raining a lot the day my parents brought me home for the first time, three days after the Friday I was born. I won't lie and say I think about it every time it rains, but occasionally, when it touches my shoulder, I remember I'm human. It slowly takes me back to many thoughts, and it eases the pain as much as it punches me again. So many things bring me to this state. A really good book. Tasty matcha latte. Air conditioning. Sometimes, a movie or a song. There's this type of melody... I, despite loving music having an extremely untrained ear, can't explain what or why, but this certain tune brings me back to myself. As if I forgot, somehow, that I exist. That I am. That I go and I come back. That I was born, and that I breathe, heavily or lightly. That I get goosebumps and that I feel the wind or the burning sun. When the raindrops touch my exposed skin or my scalp, or even when they fall directly into my glasses' lenses, and I'm suddenly unable to cross the street without wiping it off, I remember about myself. How do I even forget about it? I don't know. But I come back to my senses every two weeks or so. And I'm born again, and I'm brought home again, and I'm taking baby steps every two Mondays.

Doctors and experts will name it in various ways. And they'll shove pills down my throat. And I'll be, "Oh, I feel emptier now. Thank you, Sir." and then cry after the appointment because it is just so embarrassing that they've once again said I need to lose weight. But I could say it is so much more about others than about me. When I go back to my childhood or my teenage, and God forbid, because I'm only in my early twenties, I can point every single cause. They have many different names and appearances, different voices and talking styles, but I remember them oh-so perfectly, and I am somehow a result of their experiments. For years and even now, I've wondered if I'm, in fact, not human, but one of those bags boxers use to practice. Due to being this short, I think I'd be a punching pouch, rather than a full bag. But I'm there, hanging from the ceiling, and they go back home feeling less angry.

That anger, oh, it started growing inside of me. Sometimes it doesn't show, and I've spent so much time and money fixing it. But it comes, again, occasionally, and I'm met with myself again. In the mirror, I see someone that has been called a freak so many times. I still have this silly habit of covering both my sides with my hands, just to make my figure a little less jiggly and weird. But the stretch marks, my chest that isn't neither flat, nor perfectly positioned (it's a little down, frowning), and if I turn to my side I see my profile view, that sometimes makes me laugh. It's so... silly, I guess. My breasts fall, but my butt is up. Wearing any kind of pants, panties, shorts, and even dresses, is quite a challenge. It just doesn't stay in place. Also, it's troublesome to sit comfortably with this natural pillow. And it's not necessarily pretty, just so big that it's kind of off-putting. Not to talk about my womanhood, which I'd prefer to not have. If I could have been born without anything down there, but still being able to function normally, I guess I would be happier. And the legs I don't shave unless it's been over half a year, with knees that sometimes don't function properly and feet that are so tiny and still child-like, that weirdly, I can crack the bone of one foot, but not the other. And they hurt when I walk too much. If I go up again, my hair is so messy. It was supposed to be curly, but I did something wrong, and now it pretends to be straight like I did as a whole during my formative years. No, I guess I still am not out to many people. Haaa. I still do pretend. There are bags under my eyes that are quite pretty, actually, but just... eyes... My eyebrows are quite thick, and I don't mind it. I like flickering my eyelashes when I want to fall asleep, and, honestly, mascara makes me feel heavy. My ears, nothing to talk about them, but they hurt after wearing glasses + headphones all day. My nose is quite big, and I don't mind the size, but I feel embarrassed about the blackheads. My mouth is kinda cute, sometimes it looks like a little heart and my lips aren't extremely plump, but also not the thinnest thing. I kinda like it, but no matter what I do, lipstick never stays on. I think my lips are too moist. My teeth are quite wonky, my bite is not that perfect. I still haven't been able to have my wisdom teeth grow, and there's a lot of space between some teeth for them. I'm just waiting. My skin is rather pink than white, and honestly I feel like a little pig sometimes. Can't help but think otherwise. I mean it in a cute way, but I notice my own sadness and tone. I learned to be mean to myself in many ways. My hands are as small as my feet... the rest functions well, but it's big. Belly, forearms... just... too big. I'm not pretty, I think. Maybe my face. And maybe I'm cute, like a kid. But not an adult-like cute.

There's also the allergies. My skin can't take much, so it doesn't matter if it's pretty or not: it does not function. They say it's due to stress and, honestly? I get it. It is stressful. Still, there's something about your own body. It takes you to places. Most of the time. It breathes, it pumps blood, it eats, digests food and then expels the rest. It sleeps. And, well, as sick as my depressed, bipolar and obsessive-compulsive brain is, my creativity is there, right? Deeeeeeep there, it's a fun place. But, overall, I'd get the worst ratings. I don't stand out in a good way, and I don't have money or will to buy stylish clothes. Although I have quite some etiquette, I'm forever going to be an outsider, so the way I speak and the way I act is always going to be a downside to many.

Now, I could change. I could deprive myself of the few things that make me happy: eating and laying down. I could learn how to speak in another accent, and I could become a fascinating person. Like, it isn't impossible. I could even get my face done, and look different. No puffy, childish, rosy cheeks that hide my eyes when I smile. I could put make-up on, wear body cream, and my elbows and my feet wouldn't feel so rough to the touch. I could even smile more, be nicer or meaner, I could enjoy Christmas and I could call my grandma more. I could quit this graduation and start doing something with math or science, and I could have other political views, and I could not be who I am, entirely. And I still know, for a fact, that I would be a punching bag. A punchable face, a punchable heart, a punchable body. I'm the bearer of this. I'm a hoarder of problems that aren't even mine. But if you look at me, you'll feel this need to treat me so unwell. And as I, from an early age, felt the need to mirror others, I started doing the same. I looked at myself and I punched all I was, both figuratively and literally. And I'm brought back to that rainy day. And I'm brought back to every bullying session, and to every argument, and to every mean word, and to every objectification, and to every uneasy and unsafe moment. But, today, I want to go back home for once. To where I belong. Whatever or wherever it is. I need to take myself there. I recall a few of the houses I’ve lived in. There was this one next to my grandmother’s house, that doesn’t exist anymore. The apartment where I had my first pet (that hated me). My grandma’s house. That two-story house. The one I was friends with the landlord’s granddaughter… there were others, my mother tells me, but I don’t recall them. My whole life, I studied in three different schools. Some worse than others, but none were great experiences. And after I moved, only one University and two workplaces. I’ve been to various churches, and many other places, despite living for about 17 years of my life in a small town. Still, I never belong to any of these houses, schools, churches or communities. I’ve always been just me, with people unable to explain much about me, and the adjectives being quite lost in space. Fluttering, even. It’s not the case that I’ve found a place yet, thus I can’t tell you with a smile that “Now I belong”. Despite finally having friends, it’s nothing like a family (to which I also don’t belong to). I’m not dating nor do I have children, no pets, maybe a few collections here and there, but nothing that you can touch for too long, nothing that isn’t boring after a while, nothing to cry on, nothing to sleep with (in the most innocent way), nothing to hug, nothing to cook or shop for, nothing to care after. Nothing that needs me to live. No home to go back to, no home. Of course, houseless I’m not, thankfully, but home… maybe my room feels a little comfortable, but there’s the cleaning OCD. My skin doesn’t feel mine, my brain and my heart don’t relate to each other, my image isn’t my imagination – I am, but who am I?

I’d love to have someone to answer all of my worries. But I’ve tried therapy and as much as it doesn’t harm me, it doesn’t fulfill this need. Someone who’s going to look at me, inside and outside, and will tell what’s wrong, what’s right, what’s bad, what’s good, what and how I can change. And yet, I don’t know if I’ll accept it. Maybe it’s good that I don’t know. Well, I have my suppositions, but I don’t wish to believe them forever. Deep inside, I want to go home, to myself. I think about it quite often. When I’m shopping, when I’m eating, when I’m leisurely watching TV, when I take breaks from work. I wish I had myself more. Rely on me. Trust me. Love me. I get caught up on that. I try to think why it’s such a chore to consider myself worthy of my own affection, and yet it doesn’t make sense, whatever I come up with. Every six months I’ll have a huge breakdown and say “I’ll love myself this time!”, but in two days I’ll be mean to myself once again and care so deeply about every little mistake.

— Heeeey, Lily. — Oh, they were calling. I got a bachelor’s degree in Japanese, thinking I’d be able to become a full time translator, but I ended up becoming a full time teacher and part-time translator instead. I mean, I still have time to make my name, but the bills keep coming. The school I work at is, well, troubled. I don’t like the people that much, but I like teaching. No. I’m good at teaching. And being good makes me happy. I don’t thoroughly enjoy it. It’s my ego. I don’t belong here either, I’m not like my coworkers. But I have to be here, kind of. — Are you listening?

— Huh? Uh, yeah.

— So, answer it?

— Answer what?

— God, you never listen! — I don’t get why you need to talk during lunch break when you already talk all day. ��� We were sayiiiiing, do you have a boyfriend?

— Yeah. — I learned to lie. No need to come out, just lie. When I was still in Uni, it was fine to say “I’m focusing on studying”, but after I graduated I learned people started worrying too much about me not being with someone. So I just made up a boyfriend, and then I show a photo of a random J-Idol, and they buy it.

— When did you meet him?

— Uni. Well, excuse me, I’ll go brush my teeth. — I didn’t want to participate anymore. They’d ask more questions, and I was afraid I would get lost in my own thread of lies. I wanted to die, honestly, whenever anyone talked to me. Well, the students were fine, but the rest was just borderline impossible to keep up with. After doing my hygiene, I went to the room where we keep all the materials and supplies, trying to avoid the teacher’s room. One of my students, one of the older ones, came to me.

— Senseiiiii, are you free tonight?

— Hmm… I don’t have any plans in particular, but…

— Then, wanna come sing at the karaoke with us?

— Well… — Honestly, I enjoyed singing. I wasn’t skilled, but I loved music a lot. Still, going out with other people bothered the hell out of me. You have to go where everyone wants to, you can’t eat messily, I need to hear others’ bad singing, I need to be adequate and people need to enjoy it. — sorry, I just remembered Tae-Sensei wants me to work on a project for the school.

— Oh… okay, but if you change your mind, please come with us!

— Will do. Thank you, Micchan. — I appreciated it, honestly, but I didn’t want to be a part of it. It always happens that they think I’m not enough, and then I try so hard that I bore myself out, and then I hate them. It’s better if I miss out.

The rest of the day went by easily. But, I felt like going to the karaoke, so I’ll probably do it next week. Singing is good to cleanse the soul and gives you excuses to stay home the other day. I stopped by at the convenience store to buy myself a drink and an ice cream, or anything else that made me a little happy that day. I was trying to reach for a particular product, when I dropped almost half of the shelf. A girl in uniform, who was just done putting it there, started laughing at me. I thought she would get mad…? But she was making fun of me, right?

— I-I’m really sorry.

— It’s okay. Sorry for laughing, today was boring.

— Y-yeah… it was. Do you need help with it?

— Nope. That’s my work, don’t worry.

— Sorry again.

— Don’t be.

— Right, I’m sorry. — She looked at me, confused, then I was also confused. — Sorry.

— Please stop apologizing. Don’t say “sorry” for it again.

— I want to say it. And I’m… I’m sorry for not being able to stop myself. Sorry. Again. Fuck! — It made her laugh again.

— Why don’t you buy some alcohol? You sound like you need to get wasted.

— I’ve tried, but I can’t. I’m too scared of what I might become. Also, I take medicine, so I can’t drink.

— Huh? Well, okay… have a good night, then.

— You too. — I hurried to the register. That was, uh, an odd interaction. I just can’t help but be myself, right? I’m such a mess, I think. I’m skilled, and I know lots of stuff, but I can’t stop being sorry for just existing. What a life.

I arrived at my apartment and heated up my leftovers. Maybe tomorrow I could order a pizza or something, or I could try cooking a nice meal. I wasn’t always a mess. When it came to myself and only myself, I knew how to deal with stuff. But when it involved others, I was either too much or not enough. I was never just right, and I was never happy, and I never made anyone happy.

I ate, took a shower and cleaned my stuff (OCD, again) with alcohol. Well, I guess I was an alcoholic in a way. I couldn’t live without my spray bottle with that cleaning solution. Then, I sat on my bed. That summer was being rough, and I had no other option but to be in my panties and a top, with my window slightly opened. I had no fan or AC, because, well, the last one broke, and I kept forgetting to buy a new one. That didn’t matter for long, because I saw on my phone that my favorite singer had posted new content, and I wanted to check it out. After I gulped it down, I started watching older stuff of hers, and then I proceeded to ignore messages from my family.

The last time I talked to my parents… it was quite a while ago. Well, we had so many arguments, honestly. It was so abusive, with the excuses “We love you”, and “We’re trying our best”, but always threatening to me. I grew tired, and although I struggled now and then, I could feed myself and pay rent on my own. So I stopped talking to them. I had blocked them, but now they would message me through other numbers. I blocked them all, but one day, I just stopped. I let it be. It felt like I wanted them to know I saw they were reaching for me, but that I was ignoring them — the exact same thing I’ve been through during all the times they’ve failed to protect me. Was I a terrible child? Definitely. But I had my reasons.

I sighed, and sighed, partially because of how hot it was. Tomorrow was Saturday, so I could be myself and be there for myself. In a sense, I could be mine and just mine. If I wanted to go out, I could go on my own, and if I wanted to stay home, I could go to the kitchen, living room, or to the bathroom and no one else would bother me as opposed to being locked inside my room. I doom scrolled until my eyes got watery and tired, and then I knew it was time to sleep. I went to the bathroom once again, drank some water, turned off the lights, but I let the window open. “Tomorrow, I’ll buy a fan”, I thought, knowing well I’d forget about it. Then, I lied down, stretched, flickered my eyelashes, breathed in and out, counted sheep, daydreamed, and only fell asleep when I turned to my side. I don’t recall my dreams. My Friday went like that, just as the past Fridays of the last two years, and how the next two years will go. Probably. Things might get worse, but will they ever get better?

I finally bought that fan, but it didn’t come with batteries. It was already vacations, so, yes, I took some time. I went out to buy some, and I saw myself going to that same convenience store again. I met that girl again — and, well, I had before, but we never talked again — and she always seemed to laugh at me. I wondered if it was my figure? My expression? It didn’t look like she was being mean, not even careless. It looked like she was having fun. I don't know if I envy her, or if I'm mad at her, or if I'm just slightly annoyed. I feel too much, and I feel it all at once. I think she's trying to be friendly, but I can bring myself to like or understand her. She's the one who works here, and I'm a clumsy customer, and she meets many clumsy customers, and I'll eventually go to many stores. Or just a few ones, it doesn't matter. In the end, this is how it feels. It's summer vacation now, I don't have to go to work, I barely have any friends, I don't want to spend time with my family, and it doesn't matter. It mattered for a long time, but now I don't care anymore. I wonder what or who was the breaking point. Maybe it was during high school. Maybe a little later. It wasn't just all at once, but I gradually started not caring. Sometimes I'll care. And I'll be sorry, like that day. But today, I don't care anymore. If she sees me as a terrible, useless person, or if she laughs at me, it doesn't matter. It might affect my respect at work if it goes further than this. But she's just a mere worker, and I'm another mere worker, from worlds that don't mix, though, and she doesn't even know my name. She knows I dropped a half a shelf of products on the ground, and she knows I apologized over and over, but she doesn't know the things my father said to me, and she doesn't know how they used to treat me when I was eight years old. We're strangers, and she thinks alcohol could help me, she doesn't even know I can't have it. She doesn't know me, I owe nothing to her, it doesn't matter, I don't care, she could die right now, and I wouldn't cry or be worried. Right? I think so. I don't know. I don't want her to die. If she died, it would be troublesome. I don't want her to die. But I won't mourn it. I won't think about it. Maybe once. Or twice. Or three times. But never four. And never for too long. It doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter, it does not matter. I swear to God it fucking doesn't matter to me anymore.

Tumblr doesn't allow me to post the rest here, so please read the rest through this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51663571/chapters/130600915

[dememetor]

HEY HEY HEY

I love your writing, can I please get jealous hcs for anyone? Please include suna thi he's my latest brainrot hAHA

hi, thanks for the request! and suna brainrot?? bitch me too the fuck. anyways, hope you enjoy~

(also sorry this is kinda late, i've rewritten iwaizumi and bokuto ones a million times)

Haikyuu boys when they're jealous

characters suna rintarou, kuroo tetsurou, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto koutarou, kenma kozume

warnings none but i'm probably gonna say fuck at some point

Suna Rintarou

he tries to be chill about it, he does

it hurts his ego to be this clingy but god

he can't help but to feel that sour sting of jealousy when he sees another guy approaching you

at first will only take a quick glance from afar, just to check if the guy is bothering you, and then promises himself to stay out of your business

well he doesn't

once he decides the guy has lost talking-to-y/n-alone privilege, he will nonchalantly make his way towards you, one hand in his pocket, other sneaking its way to your shoulder, resting his elbow and giving the poor boy a menacing look

he can be pretty intimidating too with that eyeliner and all

(but that look only works on people that don't know him well, he tried it on atsumu once and the latter just laughed in his face)

not the type to be openly jealous but when he sees someone blatantly flirting with you he will start to give you the Glance

blinks slowly (you know, like that one blonde haired guy gif) and looks at you through raised eyebrows as if to say hey babe, i love you and i trust you. what the fuck tho

and when the guy starts being borderline creepy he'll appear between you - and i mean literally will inject himself between you two and strike a conversation with you as if nothing weird happened

they usually get the hint, but this one guy tried to go around him, still rambling about whatever and suna literally turned on his heel and said "come again?" with such unrivaled coldness, his eyes exuding just sheer fucking spite

but like i said, unless the other guy is asking for it, he's not the type to start a direct confrontation

will take you by the hand and leave without much thought because he simply doesn't have the time for that shit

he might seem grumpy afterwards but a couple of soft kisses usually do the trick

soft kisses which are followed by a breathless make out session with you on his kitchen counter because he still wants you to know you're only his

Kuroo Tetsurou

this little bitch

never gets jealous

and i mean never

once pretended he was jealous just to make you feel better (??? his logic? unparalleled) but once you found out you beat his ass

loves it when you get jealous though (he thinks it's cute)

sometimes he does get insecure, but he shows it in an unusual way

like if you've been talking to someone, smiling at your phone for a while he'll just get up and randomly do a couple puhs-ups, start flexing his muscles and shit

all while you're looking at him like,,

"babe, what are you doing"

"oh i didn't think you'd notice me there. since you're on your damn phone all day"

"...are you my mom?"

nah he'll be fine (will steal your phone though)

also it's the funniest thing when he sees someone trying to flirt with you

he will literally walk over there, introduce himself (not mentioning he's your boyfriend) and act really interested in the conversation

he plays this game where he tries to see how long will it take the guy to realise you two are together (longest time: 24 minutes, record holder: yahaba shigeru)

whenever the guy asks you something he will interrupt you and answer for himself as if the guy were flirting with him

"so, like what do you do in your free time?"

"not mu-"

"oh i love taking long walks on the beach, especially during sunsets. i really think it is healthy for the mind and the soul, not to mention quite romantic too. don't you too love sunsets, kevin?"

at one point kevin will have had enough of it

"i was talking to y/n alone here"

"aw don't worry, you're not bothering me"

he is such a pain in the ass

why can't he just be normal

Iwaizumi Hajime

rational, mature, i love him

seriously, he is the bestest boy and he will treat you so well because he trusts you and respects your friendship with other guys as well

but on those rare occasions when he does get jealous,, oh boy

first of all, the PDA skyrockets, he has to have his arm around you at all times - around your shoulder? on your waist? in your backpocket? his hand's been there done that

not in any way possesive but will be really annoying unless you give him your full undivided attention that day

he lets himself be selfish a bit, after all he is your boyfriend he can have you all to himself for a day, right?

jealous sex with him? better prepare a wheelchair cause you want be able to walk straight tomorrow

sees a boy trying to flirt with you? tries not to make a scene but absolutely will throw the first punch if he needs to

one day he was having a particularly rough time at practice and all he wanted to do was lose himself in your arms and fall asleep to the feeling your fingertips tangled in his hair

and then he saw this?? guy? (the audacity!) laughing with you after telling some dumb joke and let me tell you - iwaizumi wasn't having any of it

he came up to you from behind, wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a small kiss on the crook of your neck

"when are we going home, love?"

and he gives him the calmest yet most fear inducing stare from behind you

and suddenly the pattern on poor boy's pants starts to look awful lot like piss stain

it is actually kinda hot how one single look from him can cause such a reaction

"he was just asking about english homework babe"

"yeah that's what they all say"

Bokuto Koutarou

gets jealous so so easily

it is actually fascinating

will get mad at otome games

"what does jumin han have that i don't???"

god forbid you pay attention to your pet more than him (btw you have a golden retriever and his name is bean)

you're sitting on the couch cuddling with your dog, scratching his ears, ruffling his fur and all that, and there he is, your clingy boyfriend, snuggling right next to you, demanding you play with his hair too

so dramatic

"you smiled at him... the way you used to smile at me..."

"bokuto, he's a dog"

the only guy he trusts 100% to be around you is akaashi, even kuroo is on thin ice

but him and akaashi are something else, one time you three had a sleepover and you felt like you were the third wheel

will act like a tough serious boyfriend in front of others, especially your other guy friends but in reality will look for affection immediately after

oh while we're at it - jealous bokuto kisses? are the best kisses

will also force you to wear one of his shirts for the rest of the day

my poor man is so touch starved so when he feels insecure or jealous he will look for comfort in things like holding your hand, nuzzling your neck or giving forehead kisses

but later that day, when you two are sitting on the couch cuddling he will quietly ask you something along the lines of "you still think i'm pretty, right?"

you can feel him all over you - his hands are creeping down your waist, he's pulling you in, deepening the kiss until all you can see, think and feel is him

he wants to show you exactly how much he wants you and what you were missing out on while you weren't paying attention to him

and it shocks you for a moment because you didn't realise just how much that one short moment of jealousy actually stayed with him

you have to reassure him he's the most beautiful boy you have ever met, and not only that, but also the funniest and the most caring person as well, and that you would never leave his side no matter what happened

and as much as he loves getting praised he always gets embarrassed, so he just smiles in return, but he is also happy to know you're there for him and you don't think he is too much

Kenma Kozume

it depends on his mood honestly

sometimes he doesn't mind it even if the other guy is flirting with you and sometimes will get pissy if you smile at the cashier

but when this boy gets really jealous oh my GOD

he is just like bokuto if not worse; he just hides it so well

one time you went grocery shopping with him and spent the entire time texting your friend who had just told you she was visiting your city

and he got so offended

you didn't even notice it until later that day when you came home and he suddenly refused to cuddle with you

silent treatment

lifts his nose and ignores you, only giving you dirty side glances from under the eye

such a massive sense of pride in those 170 cm even oikawa would be impressed

in my country there's a saying "it's in the smallest bottle that the poison lies" and honestly? yeah

at some point you realise why he's acting like that and you start teasing him

"i am not jealous i am just mildly irritated" is the only thing he deems necessary to say before going back to being unnecessarily pissed

he reminds you of an angry cat

it's kind of amusing seeing him like this but you were also getting real tired of his shit

don't even try bribing him (you tried buying him over with a ps5 but he just looked at you unimpressed, disgusted that you think so low of him)

the only thing he will accept is a sincere apology

if it's sincere or not is up to him to decide, obviously

which can lead to quite some bickering

will try to get you to beg but please have dignity, if you do it once he will make you do it every time

yeah generally a lttle shit but his kisses after making up are just as eager as yours so

[maskyartist]

you ever have a headcanon that has little to no canon basis and/or doesn't even mean all that much? just those insignificant little details that don't have any evidence supporting them but you still have because they're neat. i have several and one of them is the headcanon that frazie simply. cannot cook. she is terrible in the kitchen, partially on purpose bc she simply Does Not Like cooking. another is that dion cannot aim for shit with most things, throwing knives in particular. he can juggle but he cannot hit a bullseye. do not trust him with a bow or gun; he cannot shoot straight to save his life. i know it doesn't make sense but it's funny and i like it so it's a headcanon i have.

you got any headcanons like that?

If we're talking specifically about Psychonauts, I think I got a few?

Raz can't dance. He can perform, he can show off, he can NOT fucking dance he has two left feet. Even as he gets older its all bad, he tries so hard but it never works.

similarly, regardless of the practice he gets, Augustus cant figure out pyrokinesis all that well?? He sorta just...makes things burst into flames rather then controlling the burn. He's better at breathing fire on stage, anyways, so its no big deal but he cant be trusted to light the campfires. Not anymore. Not unless he's using matches and normal ass methods.

for me its not Frazie who cant cook (she just doesnt cause she thinks its tedious so i agree with u there), its Dion. Mf cant make a grilled cheese without setting off the fire alarm. He burnt a cup of ice once, no one knows how that happened. He's a scientific anomaly who cant fucking cook at all. Someone get this boy to a lab to be studied.

Nah nah nah Frazie's talent is being completely unable to juggle! :D She can throw knives, she can balance, perform on a tightrope, spit fire, but GOD FORBID you give her three balls and ask her to juggle she will fail, they will fall on her head, she CANT. JUGGLE. (she was banned from practicing after nearly stabbing herself in the head with a stray knife she was juggling with, like she cant be trusted to juggle)

Last one I can think of is, as naturally talented and beautiful as she is, Dona cant sing. She cant. Augustus can! She cant. She's better with dancing, performing, and giving orders but singing was never her strong suit. Ruins the primadonna image but it just gives her an excuse to listen to Augustus's voice more and thats romance, folks ;3c

but yes I love lil HC like this, just small things that dont matter too much but add more to the personality of a character!

yall are also DEFINITELY free to send me HCs whenever u want for sure, its why i got an ask box in the first place yknow? Random shit like this is my favorite

[raggaraddy]

Discipline- Maknae Line

How and why would Yandere Bangtan punish you?

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse, mentions of violence, mentions of sexual interactions, yandere themes, Dom/sub-themes.

Playboy!Jimin

Unlike the other members, Jimin doesn't have a feeling of superiority over you. He doesn't see you as something helpless and vulnerable, or someone to control. He sees you as his other half. The problem is, is that he is extremely possessive and insecure, and that makes him unstable. He has put so much faith and trust into an ideal version of you, one that he created in his head, one that could feel exactly what he wanted and what he needed at all times. So whenever you don't live up to that expectation, when you fall short of predicting what he wants, he snaps.

Don't get me wrong, he isn't going to have a meltdown at every little thing, but enough of those little things build up into a clusterfuck of disappointment.

Look at last Tuesday for example.

- In the morning he wanted to hold your hand and cuddle in bed, but you got up and went to have breakfast instead.

- Next, when you were showering, he was hoping you would call him in to be with you. He wanted to be able to spend that little bit of extra time being close to you. But you didn't ask him.

- So while you showered he picked out the perfect outfit for your girl's-day-out lunch. But you refused to wear it, opting for something completely different. You didn't even thank him for the effort.

- Then the final straw came as you declined to take his credit card with you. If you were going out without him, he still wanted to be the one to spoil you. You might have thought you were being polite by not accepting his money, but he saw it as rejecting him.

So one temper tantrum later, a whole lot of smashed glass and a black eye you'd be too embarrassed to explain, you decided it was best to call and cancel with your friends. And besides, after Jimin gets mad, he apologizes a lot and becomes very sweet and gentle, so at least you had a day of pampering to look forward to.

Still, he'll leave you thinking back through the day trying so hard to figure out what it was that you did to upset him. He isn't going to tell you of course. That wouldn't make the connection real. You're supposed to just know what you did wrong!

Dom!Taehyung

There are two different situations in play for Taehyung. As a Dom, he knows and accepts that there are times when he will need to correct you. You crave discipline and submission and he is more than happy to accept the responsibility and give it to you.

Usually, you're his well behaved little girl, but sometimes even you mess up.

As every sub knows, sometimes you go from being playful and provocative to being a bratty smartass without even realizing it. Although, some times you might do it on purpose. And whether it was an accident or not, you know very well that brats get spanked or flogged until they're put back in their place and can't sit down.

And for those special times when you deliberately misbehave or when you genuinely upset him, he has a particular punishment reserved for you. Go ahead, tell him no. Roll your eyes at him. Order him around. He'll make time in his schedule to remind you how you should behave. And he is going to love hearing you beg when he takes you to the brink of ecstasy over and over only to deny you. Or worse, he'll make you cum over and over. And again, and again, and again, until your crying for mercy from being overstimulated.

But all of these are honestly things you enjoy. Even the worst of it, you love. You like being manhandled and controlled and being made to cry from pleasure and pain. It's part of the fun.

The problem comes with how and why Taehyung really punishes you. Any D/s relationship is supposed to come with free communication and clear boundaries. However, both of those are repellent to Tae. He wants a perfectly obedient toy, not someone with thoughts and opinions. So when you try to bring up any limits, when you ask him to slow down or god forbid, when you use your safe word, something cruel comes out of him. You never would think so few words about how you're disappointing him, or how he expected more from you, could feel so terrible. Especially when he backs those cold remarks up by removing his time and affection from you for a few days.

Don't worry though, things will go right back to normal once you come to him apologizing and crying for him to not discard you.

And he knows you will.

Mafia!Junkook

In the privacy of your own home, there isn't much that will make Jungkook mad. He's loving and caring, pretty easy going and so much fun to be with. But you will see all of that changes the second any outside attention is on him. Among his men and the public, he is a totally different person. There's a tightness to his jaw, a harshness to his stare. He's so controlled and intimidating, and he accepts nothing less than perfect compliance and respect from everyone.

So for when other people are around or on those good days when he lets you outside, there's a couple of things you'll need to quickly learn.

1. You belong to him. Jungkook doesn't let anyone take or even touch what's his and that applies to you also. You want to talk to someone else, you better ask permission first. And if by some horrible mistake someone starts to become too friendly with you, you better run back to Jungkook to let him deal with it.

2. You never question him. Not with a look, not with words. He tells you to do something, you say yes and move quick. Hell, if he tells you the sky is made of pancake batter, you thank him for letting you know and make sure to never ever say anything to the contrary.

3. You don't dare challenge him or risk embarrassing him. Like I said, you're his. And what kind of criminal organization could he run if he let even his own property stand up to him. While he would never give you the chance to make him look weak, if you did somehow happen to do so, he would need to make a very large and very public example out of you to smother any question to his leadership that you may have caused.

Break any of these guides and you should expect a swift reaction. Whether it be by physical means or by forcing you into a debased position, he will make sure he displays his authority.

In a sick way, he's kind of thankful when you do act out because it gives him the opportunity to provide a great lesson to his friends and enemies. He loves you but should you cross him, he'd be willing to beat you unconscious. So imagine what he'd do to them.

[myonepiece]

Natural Yanderes in One Piece

description: characters who are yandere without an au!

warnings: yandere, mentions of mental/emotional & physical abuse, mentions of sexual assault

a/n: I wanted to write down my thoughts on the natural yanderes in One Piece. this is probably a pt. 1 because I have a lot of thoughts about other characters too :3

I did some research to find out the “actual” names for the different types of yandere, but most of the characters are similar to multiple types so I just put down the definition/example of the type(s)

disclaimer: I didn’t sugar coat anything so just stay with me- and you might not agree but I’m just trying to explain my thoughts

- when I say darling I am referring to crush or S/O 

Doflamingo

yandere rating: 10/10

obsession, violent, removal (”you don’t need anyone else”), training (trains S/O to love him)

Doflamingo is the whole yandere package- mental & physical abuse and manipulation, stalking, obsession and infatuation, kidnapping, locking away, gaslighting, torture, possessiveness, aggression and violence, toxicity.

Doflamingo’s obsession with his darling rivals Hannibal Lecter’s obsession with eating his victims. I often like to compare Doflamingo to Hannibal Lecter, with his manners, intelligence, and sophisticated taste, and niether hold remorse for their victims- now back to the topic.

Doflamingo can be as stealthy and unnoticed as he wants to be. when he sees someone who specially catches his attention (a future S/O per say), he likes to observe them first and understand them and their thinking, especially if this person is a future lover because he’s already planning what fun he can have playing with their mind, what gets under their skin and gets a reaction.

Doflamingo knows that his actions aren’t “normal” or healthy, or safe, but he doesn’t care. he developes a fetish-like infatuation with his S/O and simply has to have them, no way of getting them is off the table. abuse is an occurrence that happens naturally, rather it be because Doflamingo is angry, at his S/O or at one of his subordinates, it doesn’t matter- because his darling disobeyed him, because he is trying to prove a point, because he wishes to see his partner in pain, or simply because he is bored and torturing his lover is much more enjoyable than torturing his enemies/subordinates.

Doflamingo enjoys a chase and he fancies playing mind games with his S/O, seeing them so distraught and unnerved and fearful is one of his greatest joys, possibly even pleasurable. he likes to make them think they have a chance at escaping, luring them into attempting (and failing) so that he can coo at them and punish them, making them think he’s mad when he’s not, making them think he’s happy when he’s not- their confused expression is remarkably adorable and endearing.

unlike some yanderes, Doflamingo doesn’t try to make his S/O think the world outside is crueler than him, that they’re safer in his arms- while he does tell them they are protected by him, he tells them that he is more dangerous than the outside world, so that they’ll be too scared to leave his side, because he is too powerful to escape.

it slightly hurts me to say this and it might be hard for some to think about, but Doflamingo is not against forcing himself on his S/O- they are merely a tool and a toy for him to use and play with and ruin until it breaks- this symbolizing their will to escape or resist, diminishing and ultimately breaking as a toy would

Sanji

yandere rating: 3/10

harmless (as long as they are happy I’m happy”), stalker, obsession (harmless obsession), wrong idea (”they gave me their eraser... they must love me!”), mild possession

we all know that Sanji has an “obsession” with beautiful women, and when he finds one he especially likes, then it becomes a little more. now Sanji would never ever hurt his S/O, never, I want that to be clear- that’s why he is a harmless type. 

Sanji often watches from afar, and it’s not unusal for him to follow his crush/darling around. he’ll usually ask if he can tag along but if they say no he’ll just linger behind and out of sight, mostly to make sure they’re safe but also so he can observe them. he can be... delusional, take things as what they aren’t (wrong idea type)- if his darling compliments him, even just “good to see you Sanji-kun” he’ll interpret it as they missed him dearly and are so happy to see him again. his head is stuck in the clouds and he’s completely lovesick with a fever of 200°.

for a comparison, his actions before getting together would very similar to those of Anthony Hope’s towards Johanna- Sweeney Todd. Anthony is seen standing by the front of the house watching Johanna while she sits in her window, the song he sings about her “Johanna” (I suggest listening to it) contains lyrics such as “I’ll steal you Johanna... even now I’m at your window... buried sweetly in your yellow hair...” Anthony wants to take Johanna because he is obsessed with her but she is also in danger because she did not choose to live there, she is being “looked after”. 

Sanji’s actions always corroborate to what’s best for his S/O, he only wishes to take care of them and spoil them. he is definitely not the most possessive, but he doesn’t like his darling showing much attention to anyone else, in moments they do, Sanji always becomes clingy and pulls them away.

he’s bordering loneliness induction (”it’s okay I’m here, you don’t need anyone else”) and removal type (you don’t need anyone else when you have me”)

I can not stress this enough, Sanji is a HARMLESS yandere, it’s only the possession and infatuation that gives him the title 

Buggy

yandere rating: 6/10

worship (”I’ll do anything for you, I’ll kill for you!”), dependence (”please don’t leave me!”), monopoly (”who were you talking to”), obsession (”where were you? what were you doing?”), wrong idea (”they gave me their eraser... they must love me!”)

Buggy is a very emotional person, shown multiple times like when he cried when reuniting with his crew and when they told him they waited for him, when he is faced with danger, when he got angry at Shanks because of something that happened many years ago, etc. he craves an actual emotional bond because he’s quite a dependent person. if someone shows him the slightest comfort and attention or sign that they’ll be there for him, he’s in love- but only with that person, the second he falls in love with them they’re the only one for him.

for comparison, Buggy’s relationship dynamic is similar to Peter Pan and Tinker Bell’s (though they aren’t really in a relationship, but you understand hopefully), that is Buggy as Tinker Bell and his S/O as Peter Pan. Tinker Bell is quite obsessed with Pan herself, often trying to get him away from Wendy and going to extreme lengths to do so, she get’s angry and jealous easily, and she is more than ready to fight to defend Peter. Tinker would follow Peter to the end of the world and Buggy would do the same with his S/O.

Buggy craves affection and stability and trust, a ride-or-die, a one and only, a true soulmate. when he finds someone like that, he becomes possessive and obsessed with them, constantly asking to accompany them somewhere or making on of his crew do it- he has trust issues and one of his greatest fears is his S/O cheating on him, loyalty is very important to him. he needs constant reassurance even though he won’t say it out loud. he wants his S/O to depend on him as much as he depends on them so they’ll only need each other (bordering removal type).

Buggy won’t hurt his S/O unless it’s in a moment of overwhelming emotions, anger most often- in those moments he can do anything. he would close his hand around hs S/O’s throat and tell them not to leave, to stay with him, but he’s crying the whole time because the mere thought of his S/O leaving is terrifying, Buggy is afraid of being alone. he’ll slap or shove harshly, insults and praises alike, pleading and threatening. he tends to forget his strength and  sometimes his grip on his S/O’s throat ends up making them pass out then he freaks out and regrets everything, he feels extremely guilty after hurting them and he tries to show he’s sorry with his actions- it’s kind of ironic because even when he causes them though most pain and that’s one thing he never wants you to go through (pain) he always asks you to stay.

because of his fear of being alone he is willing to do anything for you, if you ask him to kill someone or at least step up and battle with another crew, he will. if not being a coward, or at least pretending not to be, for one moment is what it takes for you to stay then consider his cowardness gone, *poof*. ask for anything and this man will give it to you, similar to buying your love and sometimes he realizes that practically what it is- but he doesn’t care, as long as you stay. god forbid anyone try to take you away though, he won’t hold back on someone who. tries to take away his darling, tries to tell them Buggy is dangerous and the relationship isn’t healthy- frankly Buggy doesn’t really notice if it’s healthy or not because he’s not experienced at all, he doesn’t realize his actions aren’t normal, he thinks he’s just in love with you and can’t be without you, he doesn’t even consider it’s an unhealthy infatuation with someone because they showed interest in him once.

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

[xu-ren]

Goodbye

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Dick Grayson x reader / Nightwing x reader

Wordcount: 2,200+

I love Dick, I really do but even though I think that he can make a good boyfriend, I also think that he won’t, mostly because of the heavy burdens he takes upon himself. This is me trying to write a breakup where they both still love each other but the relationship is like beating a dead horse. I hope that you enjoy. 

Masterpost

*~*~*

You jolted awake suddenly. You weren’t sure what woke you up, maybe it was the feeling that someone was staring at you, maybe it was the wind coming in from the window you always close, maybe it was the coppery smell of blood. Well, there was only one person that would sneak into your bedroom in the middle of the night.

“………Dick?”

“Yes, darling?”

You dragged your weary body from your warm embrace of your bed and walked to where the shadowy figure was. Gently, you slowly took his hand in yours, making sure to telegraph your movement so he doesn’t startle. You linked your fingers together, comfortable and nostalgic in equal measures. It feels like it has been so long since the last you held his hand but also like you have never stopped holding it.

You went into your bathroom to fetch the first aid-kit, which in a normal household would be defined as overstocked but when you are dating a vigilante, there’s no such thing as an overstocked first aid-kit. Understocked, definitely, but never overstocked. When you entered the dining room where you left Dick, you found him in his Nightwing costume, gingerly perched upon one of the chairs on your dining table, specifically the one covered in plastic that was set aside for nights like this. The lights you flickered on your initial journey to the kitchen only serves to highlight his wounds. Luckily, they don’t seem to be anything serious, just a mixture of bruises and small cuts, nothing you have not seen before.

You settled yourself in front of him and gently start cleaning and dressing his wounds, muttering apologies when he hissed from the pain. Your hands were steady, far too used to cleaning up wounds for someone who is a civilian. Dick was uncharacteristically silent, maybe he was too exhausted to talk, which is doubtful.  Maybe he could read that you are not in the mood to talk, which was far more likely. He had always been perceptive to your moods, that was what made him such a good boyfriend in the first place.

Once, earlier in your relationship, your hands would have trembled, shaky and uncertain as they dressed his wounds. Your panicking apologies would have been met with demands for kisses to make it better, perhaps even interspersed with kisses from Dick to whatever patches of your skin that he could reach.

But now, it was no longer so. Quickly and efficiently, Dick’s wounds were soon all cleaned and dressed. You moved a chair in front of him and settle upon it, finally meeting his eyes. He looks exhausted, world weary with bags that would rival the bag you see on a backpacker. If you could have it any other way, you would not have this conversation now but if you don’t, you don’t know when you would next have a chance to do so or the courage to go through with it.

You held one of his hands in both of yours, rubbing your thumb in a soothing motion on the back of his hand, doing whatever you can to soften the news.

“Dick, let’s break up.” You let it spill out of you, as quickly as you could before your courage failed you.

Dick’s baby blues widen, making him resemble a baby owl before blinked rapidly once, twice, thrice, as if he is in disbelief while the rest of him was frozen. The silence seemed to drag on and on, the calm before the storm.

“Love, darling, dearest, whatever do you mean? I promise that I would do better. Just tell me where I went wrong, it won’t happen again. I promise, just please please don’t leave me. Let’s get married, okay? When do you wanna get married? Tomorrow is fine, how about tomorrow?” babbled Dick desperately. In the middle of his babbling, the position of your hands had switched, with both of his hands cradling both of yours. It’s warm and familiar and you desperately want to savour the moment, especially since it’s one that you have went so long without.

However, you have already come this far. It would be doing a disservice to the courage you so desperately gathered to fail here.

“Oh Dick, I love you, I really really do. But you don’t have anything left to give me, do you? Do you even remember the last time we went on a date?” You asked as kindly as you could.

“We went to the burger place you mentioned?” He asked hesitantly.

“That was 2 months ago, and you were 3 hours late,” you retorted, trying to keep the heat from your voice.

“The café with the ………pancakes?” His next guess was much more hesitant, so it was safe to say that you weren’t particularly successful with keeping the heat from your voice.  

“5 months ago, and you left 3 minutes after the pancakes arrived because you received a call. From Barbara.”

The silence that followed your second answer was deafening, uncomfortable in a way that was rare when you were with him. He responded by bringing your hands, still cradled by his to his cheeks and looked at you from under his lashes with his lower lip jutting out. There are many things about him that you were weak to, but none as much as when he looked at you with his baby blues from under those long pretty boy lashes of his.

You snatched your hands from his and narrowed your eyes at him, furious that he would try such a method at a time like this. It was unfair of him, since you knew your weakness, he knew it, his family knew it, even the waitstaff at your favourite breakfast place probably knew it.

“Point is, Dick, we have barely seen each other in months, and when we do, you are either late or rushing off. I’m not angry,” You pinched your nose, trying to keep your voice steady. “I mean, I was but I came to realise something. There’s no place for me in your life, or rather, there’s so much on your plate that there’s no place left for me. You are a flying Grayson, and I’m the shackles that bound you. I have been selfish all this time, but would you let me be selfish this one last time?”

At the end of your rant, you finally dared to hazard a glance at Dick. His shoulders were slumped and his head bowed, like he was beaten down and it broke your heart. It’s not the first time you have seen him like this, his life often takes its toll on him, but it never failed to break your heart nonetheless.

You wanted to comfort him, but how do you comfort someone who you hurt? You wished to wrap your arms around him, giving him a reprieve from the horrors of the world and a place to be weak. You wished to let him sob into your shoulder but how do you do so when you are the one that inflicted this pain on him?

“Alright,” he sighed, ending your relationship once and for all.

“It’s late, why don’t you stay the night?” It’s cruel of you, to offer your bed to someone whose heart you just broke, but you missed him.

He raised his head and you finally looked at him after your awful revelation. The sight of it broke your heart all over again, especially the way his eyes were shinning with barely unshed tears and his lips were quivering. His eyes scanned you, trying to tell if you meant what you said.

He nodded his acceptance and head towards your couch. You pulled on his shirt to catch his attention, unsure if he wanted you to touch him at the moment. He stopped but doesn’t turn to face you.

“Come to bed, Dick.” An unspoken one last time passed between the both of you.

He changed directions and headed towards your bedroom, shoulders and back stiff. You were left standing in the kitchen alone, except this time it's all due to your own making. When you finally gathered your thoughts, you head to your bedroom to find Dick in the showers.

You sat on your bed, waiting for him because you like to think that you still know him well and he is someone that would go to sleep on your couch or gods forbid, leave, if you close your eyes for even a second. The way he jolted when he came out of the bathroom confirmed your suspicions.

He made his way stiffly to his side of the bed, closer to the window. “All the better to protect you, my dear,” was what he said when you had asked why he loved sleeping on the side closer to the window.

You crawled under the covers, unsure on what to do next. It’s painful that your last night together would be so horribly awkward, even though you know that you only have yourself to blame for this. Lovely, precious Dick broke the awkwardness by wrapping his arms around you, pulling your head onto his chest and resting his head on yours. You reciprocated by wrapping your arms around him and snuggling closer. His scent was comforting, a mixture of his shower gel and something that was uniquely him. It has long faded from both your bed and the clothes that he left in your apartment, even though you tried to preserve it for as long as you possibly could.

Only in the darkness of your bedroom, with both of your arms wrapped around each other, does Dick finally let his tears fall.  His tears wet your hair and gut-wrenching sobs that tore through his chest. What broke your heart over and over again was however, the kisses he pressed to the top of your head in between his sobs.

You closed your eyes and succumbed to sleep only when his sobs were silent, presumably having exhausted himself.

*~*~*

You jolted awake to the smell of something burning, causing you to leap from your bed and run towards the kitchen. There, you stared as Dick waved your pan around, trying to put out the burning something on it. You would hazard a guess and say that it was a fried egg, given the eggshell you could see at the side of the stove.

Some unknown emotion, maybe relief, crawled up your throat and you laughed and laughed and laughed. By the time you managed to gain some control, you looked up to see Dick pouting at you.

“You could have helped, you know?” pointed out Dick, clearly a little upset.

“I’m sorry, I should have. How about cereal instead?” you said as a peace offering.

“Fruit Loops?” Watching Dick perk up at the mere mention of cereal made your lips twitch upwards. It certainly made the number of times you had to replace the cereal worth it, given that he had never stayed over enough in recent months to finish the cereal and you weren’t going to eat that sugary cereal.

“Of course, were you expecting something else?”

“I love you, honey.” At the words that spilled out of Dick’s mouth, both of you freeze, unsure on how to proceed, your conversation from last night hanging heavily in the air. You smiled at him tentatively and his shoulders relaxed marginally.

By the time you return to the kitchen after freshening yourself in the bathroom, Dick had already taken your largest bowl and was eating what looked like half the box of cereal. You made yourself a cup of Milo before sitting across Dick, drinking in the sight of him sitting at your kitchen table bathe in sunlight.

Far sooner than you would like, breakfast was over and you are helping him pack up his things. Even that doesn’t last as long as you would liked and before you knew it, you were standing in front of your door with Dick, his things in a box at his feet.

Both of you look at each other awkwardly, unsure or perhaps unwilling to take the next step. He cupped your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your lips. He tasted sweet, which suited a person as sweet as he is.

‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ his kiss said.

‘Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I love you too,’ you kissed him back.

You separated, his hands still cupping your cheeks, your faces so close that you could smell the sugar on his breath.

‘Goodbye.’ He pressed one last kiss on your forehead before turning around and walking out of your life. You know that if you ask him to stay, if you tell him that you don’t want to break up anymore, he would stay, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of you. You watched, rooted to the ground, drinking in the sight of him until he turned around the corner.

You can’t bear the sight of your apartment, so bare without his things. Even when he had been barely around in months, at least his things were still around to remind you of him. Instead, you headed to your bed and cried, surrounded by the smell of him. The first time your bed smelled like him in months also marked the last time your bed would ever smell like him.

[siriusmydeer]

For the Thank You Next can you do Imagine with James Potter?

thank you, next.

james potter x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: you go through the stages of love till you find your person.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: mutual pinning, over use of sarcasm it’s so bad, SWEARING, kissing, mentions of kissing, mentions of an arm falling off, mentions of injury

—0:00

‘Thought I'd end up with Sean

But he wasn't a match

Wrote some songs about Ricky

Now I listen and laugh

Even almost got married

And for Pete, I'm so thankful

Wish I could say "thank you" to Malcolm

'Cause he was an angel’

one day, when you’re young, your mother tells you, ‘there’s lots of fish in the sea, but you have to wait for the right catch’ or maybe that was just your deranged mother. normally, you thought all of that was bullshit. a slytherin princess should never be mistreated, someone whomst you honour and adore with all in your beating heart; turns out slytherin boys didn’t get the fucking memo.

the only person who did understand was the one and only, regulus arcturus black. but you unfortunately lacked sexual attraction to him so therefore you couldn’t date him, so that was a feigning issue. evan rosier was fit, top of his classes and a quite nice mop of blonde on his head, he was a quidditch player and a pureblood slytherin; so etiquette is to be clearly expected. too other schoolmates, especially the fawning girls of almost every house, he was probably the full package, one of the alpha males that roamed the hallways at hogwarts; oh were those girls the biggest knob heads to exist.

turns out he was just the biggest fucking dick to ever walk the planes of the earth, he ran around with idiots like lucius malfoy— another mistake of the century, and little severus snape; thank merlin, and salazar slytherin themselves you never resorted to him.

‘One taught me love

One taught me patience

And one taught me pain

Now, I'm so amazing

Say I've loved and I've lost

But that's not what I see

So, look what I got

Look at what you taught me

And for that, I say’

normally your first couple of boyfriends should teach you something out of the relationship, maybe what you needed to strengthen for the next time you were in an intimate relationship, like trust, communication, maybe even sexual intimacy.

all these absolute dunces taught you was to pick your boyfriends better, and to stay away from every slytherin male that had ever entered hogwarts. evan— oh, he only taught you that everyone and everything was a priority over you, always the ‘talk to you later.’ and the casual, ‘blowjob?’ comments; absolutely fucking arse. lucius, couldn’t forget his moto in your mind even if you jammed it in your strongly-witted brain that money was power and money over any atom to every exist.

regulus understood, strict pureblood parents but he still understood how to treat a partner. i guess it was nice not picking up every habit of walburger and onion— sorry, walburga and orion, noble heirs of the house of black. yeah, did i mention they were second cousins?

‘Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)’

“you could always hang out with my brothers mates, i see them not casually oogling you.” oh regulus, sometimes you did lack the slytherin wit and ambition. he was sprawled on the malachite coloured couch, a pearly white quill fumbled between his slender digits as he started aimlessly into oblivion at the dying out fire in the midst of the frigid common room.

“yeah, let me go hang out with my best friends brothers friends, slytherin haters! such a good idea, reg. maybe they should’ve put you in ravenclaw from that amazing idea!” if you were sarcastic before, there aren’t a non-vulgar amount of words in the universe to describe the tremendous mockery in your tone; as you intensely stared into the crevices of the ceiling while laying on the opposite viridescent sofa.

“merlin, tone down the sarcasm a bit? i was just offering, it’s not like your a pureblood, or a prat.” regulus offered, looking at your form, your elbow now covering your eyes and making recurring heavy sighs every few minutes. “being a half-blood is enough for hatred, regulus, m’dear.” you sighed again, in defeat. hopeless romantic and hated by many, fantastic, am i right?

‘Spend more time with my friends

I ain't worried 'bout nothin'

Plus, I met someone else

We're havin' better discussions

I know they say I move on too fast

But this one gon' last

'Cause her name is Ari

And I'm so good with that (so good with that)’

don’t think, breath and just do what your heart tells you to. fuck that— panic, cry, scream, whatever, be scared. you were gaping at the red mass and overdue of shades, it wasn’t ugly but definitely not the prettiest colour to exist; mixed with mustard yellow. gryffindor students absolutely covered in both. well students, no, james potter, yes.

he happen to be your victim, well friend of sirius; regulus did say after all they oogled you, whatever that meant. you both played quidditch, pretty decent grades, both had good humour, your more so, i mean c’mon you couldn’t find that wit just anywhere, and well you could be best friends. well friends, acquaintances, maybe one, possibly. if only you had the confidence of a leo male, all you needed was to strut over to the damn quidditch field and say something, literally anything.

so that’s exactly what you did, your shoes crunching against the no-longer damp grass, dry after morning dew showers. your bag hanging off of your left arm, your head preoccupied with ways on how to greet someone because slytherin etiquette right now was not the way to go; it would only cause assumptions and stereotypes. i mean who the actual fuck says, ‘how do you do?’ anymore.

‘She taught me love (love)

She taught me patience (patience)

She handles pain (pain)

That amazing (yeah, she's amazing)

I've loved and I've lost (yeah, yeah)

But that's not what I see (yeah, yeah)

'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I say’

enemies, nope. acquaintances, don’t think so. friends, getting there. close friends, i would say. if someone ever said they saw james fleamont potter hanging around a slytherin they would’ve assumed that someone was knocked upside the head with the biggest beaters bar you could find, but the green and red weren’t that bad of a mix after all.

henceforth, here you were giggling like school girls with james fucking potter right by the black lake. “james, respectfully, stop carrying that stupid snitch everywhere. doesn’t it weigh down your pockets?” you queried the boy who was fumbling with the golden snitch for the past three minutes, flipping his hair so he could knock the brunette tendrils from his eyes while he gaped at you.

you were glowing— the sun at its highest peek, he could’ve been on his knees thanking albus dumbledore in his office for free period; knowing james we would’ve offered to comb his beard and maybe even a shampoo and condition it while he was at it.

your eyes glittered as you chortled at him for dropping that stupid ball for the third time, your hair dancing in the wind like it was a routine, a perfect routine, your teeth glinting at the suns ethereal rays that hit you just right. imagine if james’ foolish cocky mask instead would’ve rejected your offer of friendship that one humid day on the quidditch pitch— he would’ve been the biggest git to ever stride the planet.

‘Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (said thank you, next)

Thank you, next (next)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Thank you, next’

friends, that’s what it was suppose to be. pals, mates, schoolmates, whatever the fuck you called it. it wasn’t suppose to be frenemies, to friends to lovers! you weren’t suppose to notice the navy blue flecks of colour in his cerulean eyes, the way his lips curled in a smile after he caught that silly snitch that blazed the thick sure after a hefty match, the way he brushed the tresses of hair behind your ears when the wind was assaulting your face and you were basically swallowing your hair.

now sitting with him in the library you were mentally stabbing your stygian heart, why men. why do they do things, why do men sometimes have the decency to show sympathy, and partiality with their friends. he hugged you, he kissed your forehead when you felt dejected, james potter went through the slytherin common room to bring you chocolates on your period. which fucking gryffindor would do that, huh? definitely not frank longbottom or fabian prewett.

his hand scathed yours as he pointed at how to make a draught of peace potion, his hand was warm and smooth but only from what you touched— you could see slight callouses forming on the pads of pads palm from broom handling, and the small cracks in his knuckles from the lacking use of lotion. you felt the rapid rate of your heart merely increasing at the minute from the slight touch, a rush of rose clouded your cheeks. this was so embarrassing.

‘One day I'll walk down the aisle

Holding hands with my mama

I'll be thanking my dad

'Cause she grew from the drama

Only wanna do it once, real bad

Gon' make that last

God forbid something happens

Least this song is a smash (song is a smash)’

you were mid flight, smashing a bludger in the direction of the vermillion colours. even when you were immensely sweaty, intensely panting, abundantly tired, and your arm looked like it wanted to fall off he wanted to kiss the energy back into you. james loved winning against slytherin, it might’ve been his favourite thing at hogwarts; but he would murder a pack of death eaters if it meant he got to see your smile when your emerald-clad seeker clutched that small golden ball.

both teams landed, a handshake due for the game to be over after almost two continuous hours of playing and that stubborn ball blazing the air. he meant to walk over there, a hug overdue in his prideful way of saying congratulations but he did not think that he would’ve strided over to your panting figure and clasped your soft cushion lips with his own parched ones from the continuous heaving in his breath.

your lips tasted of peach, hints of mango. your lips dried of chapstick but still smooth— feeling the grooves in your lips, they were puffy and swollen probably from the tremendous amount of times you had bitten your lips in anxiety. your lips disconnected for a moment, suddenly realizing that you had an audience of your fellow slytherins, your enemy gryffindors and not one but two shocked crowds of hufflepuffs and ravenclaws suddenly watching the private scene unfold.

james cleared his throat, looking at your grinning face that was encased between his palms, your face was significantly flushed, your chest moving every millisecond at the loss of breath in your lungs. “good, uh, good game james.”

‘I've got so much love (love)

Got so much patience (patience)

I've learned from the pain (pain)

I turned out amazing (turned out amazing)

I've loved and I've lost (yeah, yeah)

But that's not what I see (yeah, yeah)

'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I'll say’

cocky, quidditch captain, school prankster, pureblood gryffindor, and head boy. that to the peering eyes of hogwarts was james potter, but he was so much more than that. he was like an onion, gross comparison but for the sake of it you’ll use it, he had layers but everyday it’s like you cried a little less and you peeled just a bit more.

he was benevolent, he guided first years to common rooms and sometimes he studied with fourth year hufflepuffs. he was sensible, sometimes, he helped out madame pomfrey in the healers wing when remus had been injured from a full moon along with any remaining students in the ward from previous incidents, not to mention, you did uncover remus’ ‘furry secret’ and swore to secrecy. and most of all, james was cherishing, he actually did give a fuck when you had a bad day, he stroked your back and hummed you stupid baby lullabies.

i mean could you imagine lucius malfoy and evan rosier humming a girl lullabies when they were upset? celebratory kisses after quidditch, bringing you snacks while you were overwhelmed in school work and actually made an effort in the relationship? they would’ve bought you a pair of red bottoms and called it a day.

‘Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (said thank you, next)

Thank you, next (next)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Yeah’

there was infact one thing that your past relationships taught you;

never date a man to ever be put in the slytherin house ever again.

taglist: @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @maddoxsmythologicalmind @amourtentiaa @msmb @five-cups-of-coffee @emmaev @serenitywilderness @spencerfuckingreidswhore @artemis1orion @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @dear-luna @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul @sirius-animagus

[chokiipng]

Overtime

Toshiro Hitsugaya x f!reader contents: fluff a small nap with the overworked captain

.

        Rangiku sweat profusely as (Y/n) shifted in her sleep. God forbid that someone wakes her up now, it's been nearly 15 hours, going on to 16. Yes, she was incredibly polite yesterday, even sounding like a proper Soul Reaper, but that's only because she was in an especially good mood. 

        In reality, there were a lot of lines that you should never cross when it comes to (Y/n). She was a generally chill person, that was half of the reason why she did the most field missions out of everyone in the Seireitei. She did anything since she was bored all the time. If not, than she usually lounges around the squad barracks or takes any extra work from other captains. So naturally, after doing all that work and chill person such as herself would have a wack ass sleeping schedule, that of which involves 10 (or 15 in this case) hour long naps and a good night's sleep of 3 minutes. 

        This brings us to our current predicament. She's been asleep for the past 15 hours in the Captain's office of Squad 10, with no sign of awakening any time soon. Other people like Captain Sui-Feng or Hitsugaya would normally have no problem waking her up and escorting her back to her room, but Rangiku wasn't any of them. She was a big busted lady with a drinking problem, not an abnormally short man. Waking (Y/n) up without being one of the two was basically a death wish. She was tired, and no one was going to get in between her and dreamland, that of which included more sleeping. 

        Captain Hitsugaya had left the room briefly, claiming that he was going to hand in the paperwork that he's done already, trusting Rangiku to allow (Y/n) to sleep peacefully. It took every fiber of her being to withhold from whipping out a bottle of sake hidden somewhere in the office. She was dumb, but she wasn't that dumb. Getting drunk would result in her singing around the room and falling everywhere, she wasn't willing to take that risk when it came to a knocked out (Y/n). 

        "Just a tiny sip-"

        "mmmmm....."

        Rangiku held in a shriek as (Y/n) turned on her side, releasing a low groan as she re-positioned herself on the couch. As the tired maiden settled once more and soft snores were heard, Rangiku let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. She silently cried to herself as she reluctantly returned to her mounds of paperwork.

        .

        When Captain Hitsugaya returned, he found, much to his relief, (Y/n) still fast asleep with the addition of Rangiku sprawled out across the coffee table. He did a quick check to make sure that she didn't open a single bottle of sake and sighed gratefully having found none littered in his office as they usually are.

        Taking off the captain's haori, that he took great pride in wearing, he used it to lay it across the usually hardworking girl like a blanket as he also untied the turquoise sash around his torso and left Hyourinmaru to rest on his stand. Bringing his ink and brushes, he sat himself down on the floor, opposite of that of Rangiku and leaned back onto the couch that (Y/n) was sleeping on. He brought Rangiku's stack of papers over to his side to sign and finish up, until a soft hand ruffled through his hair.

        Without flinching, he rose a brow and looked behind him only to see (Y/n) staring at him with a drowsy gaze. 

        "How long have I been asleep for?" she asked in a groggy voice.

        "About 16 hours." he answered.

        "And what about you?"

        He stiffened at that and looked away, causing her to chuckle weakly. She looked over at his desk only to find it clean of the piles of paperwork he once had, save for the small cup that once held his tea. 

        "You did enough work, Rangiku's already knocked out so why don't you rest for a bit." she offered, draping her arms over his shoulders.

        He took one last glance at his lieutenant's paperwork, before ultimately leaning back into her touch and grasping one of her hands with his own.

        "I'll wake you up when I do, then you can get back to your boring reports."

        A small part of him feared that she would sleep for another 15 hours, but a larger more fatigued part kept telling him to give in and take a nap.

        He eventually sided with the latter and rested his head on her arm, it couldn't hurt too much to take a small nap (in (Y/n)'s terms at least).

        "Fine, demon woman. I finished most of my work anyway."

        And with that, the two of them drifted off into sleep.

        The office was quiet, with the exception of Rangiku's obnoxiously loud and Captain Hitsugaya's and (Y/n)'s soft snores. Squad 10 was soothingly calm for the first time in decades. 

A/n: this was a small excerpt of a Toshiro Hitsugaya x Reader that i’m writing on my quotev account, it’s mainly for me to write in when im feeling them negative emotions but i figured other people might like it too

[junicai]

Aria at Award Shows

Iconic Outfits

2020 AAAs NCT Daesang Award  

Peoples’ jaws dropped when they saw Aria sidle up alongside the other 23 boys, strolling out like she owned the building. The heels gave her enough height to be nearly level with Renjun - something she wouldn’t let the boy forget - her hair dyed back to a natural black like it had been during NCT2020 promotions. It was rare that Aria didn’t look slightly apprehensive about stepping out onto a red carpet, but the confidence was rolling off her in waves. As she walked, the slit in the dress seemed to keep on going, trailing up her leg and changing the otherwise classy dress into something that left the innocent bystanders in the first row suffering from a high chance of a heart attack.

tldr; Aria’s hot and people are Noticing.

2019 Show Champion NCT 127 ‘Superhuman’ 

NCT’s second win with Superhuman left a huge divide in nctzens; a rift between those who were ot21 stans and ot22 stans (sans and plus Aria). Up until then, there had been rumors around whether Aria was to leave NCT now that there was a new girl group supposedly debuting under SM. Their management team had refrained from publishing a response - but that only lead fans to create their own speculations and theories. This outfit played perfectly into the growing rumor; with the large circular pendant on Aria’s bracelet having two chrysanthemums etched into the gold. The flower symbolized happy endings and goodbyes, with nctzens taking this as the proof that Aria was truly set to leave NCT in the coming months. 

tldr; nctzens need to learn how to Chill.

2017 M! Countdown NCT 127 ‘Cherry Bomb’

Unfortunately, this era was the cause of a lot of strife for Arizens; the stylists either hit it out of the park and Aria was drop dead stunning - or she ended up looking a little like a bratz doll a toddler had gotten their hands on. Unfortunately for Aria, their first win with ‘Cherry Bomb’ left pictures of her in a plastic, obviously dyed blue skirt and cherry pink hair to match immortalized on the internet forever. 

tldr; arizens hoped that her stylist got fired after this era. the plastic skirt wasn't the worst thing they'd done.

Other Iconic Outfits

Seating Arrangements

Depending on the venue, idols are normally sat on straight rows of chairs and benches, or at round tables. Given the choice, Aria would always prefer to sit at one of the tables, as not only does it give her a chance to not have to worry about her legs being seen while being covered by the tablecloth - if there is one - but it lets her keep everyone sitting near her in her direct line of vision. 

However, should she have to sit in one of the main rows, she’ll normally end up squished beside one of three boys - Donghyuck, Yuta and/or Renjun. Should one of those three be unaviliable, Doyoung and Jeno are usually quick enough to fill in the empty space. 

Donghyuck would always be her first choice, was it not for the boy’s incessant energy that sometimes left her nerves fried before their performance. Most days she adored the company - adored him and his efforts to get her mind off their impending songs with various games and ways to pass the time (they're not allowed play footsie anymore though, because Aria stomped on his foot with her heel once) - but other days she just needed someone to hold her hand and say nothing. That’s where Yuta and Renjun come in.

As Aria’s found out over the years, for all the man’s tactile affection and loud displays of love, Yuta’s highly perceptive to when she needs some silent comfort. Now, she’s not sure if he’s that perceptive to everyone or just her - but either way she’s not complaining. 

With Dream, Renjun is the one she’ll sit with and doodle on the white napkins that are laid out on the table for lord knows what reason. After being bored out of their minds for their first few award shows, Renjun had snuck two black ballpoint pens into the venue in the inside of his red suit jacket. The drawings had become somewhat a tradition, and the best doodle normally is uploaded to bubble shortly after the show has ended. 

All in all, Aria’s normally quite content to sit in the centre of the large group of boys - split over several rows or tables, boisterous and bubbly with energy. The only real downside to it all is the lack of blankets available to protect her modesty once she is seated. 

Most venues split the idols fairly evenly between the boy and girl groups - with blankets being allocated especially for the seating of girl groups. This meant, unfortunately, that when NCT files into their seats and sits down, there is rarely something in the close vicinity that Aria can borrow quickly without causing a fuss.

Sometimes she gets lucky - other female idols might spot her and are normally kind enough to hand over one of their cushions or blankets, content to share with their neighboring member. Occasionally though, Aria has no such luck and is left to either pull down her dress multiple times per minute to cover the prickly feeling over the tops of her legs when she felt like eyes were boring into her, or wait for some kind of break so she could go find a spare covering.

Aria supposed after the third time something like that had happened, her members were getting fed up with it all. 

At first it was their plan B: should some type of cover-up not be available in their immediate vicinity, Johnny or Lucas or Jaehyun - once, even Dejun - or another member who ran hot near-constantly would shrug off their jacket and fold it over Aria’s legs, pulling it up and then lifting her hands to place them in her lap to hold their jacket there. 

Eventually it became their plan A however, now commonplace for Aria to go looking for the member who was wearing multiple layers and who wouldn’t suffer from the loss of their outermost one.  

Iconic Moments 

Twitter: [180821] and people rly say nct doesn’t care abt aria :/

Red carpets were always something to dread, in Aria’s eyes.

The cameras flashing bright enough to blind you, and the knowledge that if she stumbled or - god forbid - fell it would be immortalized forever on Koreaboo’s newest blog post. 

However the worst bit, was always the footwear. High, stiletto heels that left her teetering around on nothing more than her tippy-toes, precariously balanced as she made her way up and down stairs, over carpet and tiled flooring alike. 

Aria was used to wearing heels, but the one’s she performed in were usually fitted with various types of ankle support and a thick heel to give her balance. Wobbling around on a heel the same width of a piece of uncooked spaghetti was not something she’d willingly choose. 

Not to mention the blisters. 

Designer shoes were gifted to the company on a regular basis - shipped over just in time for Aria to slip into the pair before stepping out of the van into the sea of bright flashes and reporters. It always seemed like designers were too pre-occupied with making a shoe look good rather than making them actually wearable. 

The first time Aria had been gifted a set of heels - early 2018 - she made the mistake of assuming that they would be in similar comfort as her performance heels. 

Two hours later and with a wad of bloody tissue stuffed into the back of them, Aria had learnt her lesson. 

From then on, it was commonplace for Aria to bandage her heels before she went out to shows - not quite as heavily as she normally would for a performance, but just enough to stop the skin splitting under the constant abrasion. 

She’d only been caught out badly once - but it was all caught on camera by a fan sitting close by, and spread over twitter like wildfire. 

Aria had limped her way back over to where NCT 127 was sitting, lips pressed together in a tight line and hands clenched in the tight material of the leather trousers she had been given to wear. The trousers stopped a few inches above her ankles, so the red mess of her heels was clearly visible as she hobbled over and sat down with a thud onto the seat. 

Donghyuck placed a hand on Aria’s shoulder, leaning in so that he could see her face behind the curtain of hair that she had let fall to hide her tear-filled eyes from him. 

“Riri?” Donghyuck whispered to her, thumb beginning to rub soothing circles into her arm. “Hey, Riri? What’s going on?” 

Aria only shook her head, gesturing to the pair of torturous heels on her feet.

Donghyuck inhaled sharply when he saw the blood trailing up her leg and soaking into the back of the heel. He turned to his side to elbow Doyoung, grabbing his attention.

“Hyung. Hyung.” He hissed, Doyoung turning around with an over-exaggerated sigh. 

“No, Hyuck, I told you I’m not going to-” Doyoung cut himself off upon seeing Aria’s pain-filled face. “Aria? What’s wrong? What’s happened?” 

Donghyuck slid off his seat onto the ground despite Aria’s protests that the floor wasn’t clean, get up, and explained what had happened to his hyung. Sliding her heel off as slowly as he could to not pull at the skin more, he muttered apologizes to Aria as she inhaled a shaky breath before exhaling it on a small, wet cry. 

“Hyung, did you bring anything for Taeyong-hyung’s shoulder that we could use?” 

“Yeah, yeah I did give me two seconds.” Doyoung bent into the small bag that he had tucked underneath the seat, pulling out a length of bandage that was stowed away in the outermost pocket. 

Donghyuck took it from Doyoung’s hands with a small ‘thank you’, moving to kneel back down in front of Aria and taking her ankle back into his lap.

“Hyuck, no I got it, c’mon the ground isn’t clean-” 

He silenced her with a look. Aria settled back into her chair - defeated - and Donghyuck wrapped the bandage around her heel as quickly but as painlessly as he could manage. 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Twitter: [190323] HSHS ARIA IS A CARAT WE’VE WON LADIES N GENTS

Maybe Aria should have been paying more attention to the camera that was slowly panning around the idols, projecting their faces up onto a large screen beside the stage, but she was too engrossed in the current group’s performance. 

“그렇다고 네 맘이 작다는 게 아냐,” Swaying gently side to side and mouthing along to the lyrics, Aria was happy enough to smile along to the song and move her hands in a small mimickery of the choreography she’d taught herself off the group’s dance practice video she’d watched only a few dozen times. 

It wasn’t until Mark poked her in the side that Aria broke out from her own little bubble, twisting her head to look back at him and then up at the screen when he pointed. 

There, her face, staring back at her from the big screen was enough to make her mouth drop open a little bit and her eyes widen. She clapped a hand to her mouth before turning to hide her face in Jaehyun’s shoulder, shaking with embarassed laughter. 

Aria could hear Taeyong’s teasing laugh in return, before a hand came and ruffled the hair on top of her head, that she swatted away.

--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Twitter: [170911] lmao same aria

Aria knew she was there. 

She knew that she was sitting right there and that she was in one of those really skimpy dresses stylists loved to put girls in because apparently female idols don’t deserve modesty and Aria knew that she had a blanket for once and she should share it but oh my god.

It was Chungha.

Aria was going to pass out. 

Taking side glances every few seconds only confirmed the fact that Chungha was pulling down her dress to cover as much of her legs as possible, tucking her ankles together and underneath the seat.

Ok.

Ok, she could do this. 

Aria took a steeling breath, before shifting on her seat to face Chungha on more of a diagonal. She lifted her hand before lowering it slighly, looking away. 

Should she- no ok she’s doing this. 

Without giving herself time to talk herself out of it, Aria moved to rest her hand on Chungha’s arm. The older woman jerked slightly - startled - and Aria was quick to apologize. 

There was no audio in the video uploaded - the original poster having been too far away to capture much - but the two women talked for a moment before Chungha pointed to the blanket and then herself.

Aria nodded emphatically, and Chungha’s face crumpled into something fond, bowing her head in thanks before they unfolded the blanket another time and Chungha scooted an inch closer to Aria so they’d both fit. 

Chungha sent Aria another grateful smile before refocusing on the performances - apparently not noticing, or perhaps choosing not to comment on the rather obvious red tinge that the younger idol’s cheeks had taken on.

[studiobeebo]

~♡ Winter Warmth ♡~

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 2.1K

Genre: warm and soft like mash potato. 

A/N: has this trope of sharing winter clothes been done a million times? yes. will that stop me? no.

as per usual, reblogs are the best way to get my works around since tags tend to be unreliable so they’re greatly appreciated! enjoy!

“You didn’t bring a scarf. Or a hat. Or anything.”

Your current ‘mission’ partner’s characteristically irritated tone broke you out of your current daze as you shifted your eyes towards him as the two of you walked side by side, close enough that it was clear the two of you were at least friends, but not so close that things were...weird.

“Oh, no..” You hummed, a puff of steam escaping with your words and just as soon evaporating into the cold winter air. “To be honest I didn’t think it would be this cold. Oh- but it’s not that bad, no worries.”

He looked at you for a second before shrugging and facing forward once again, the previous silence between the two of you settling back in as your eyes drifted back to your right where rows and rows of shop windows twinkled with Christmas lights and other inviting decorations. 

See, the so called ‘mission’ the two of you had been sent on wasn’t really a mission at all, it was more like an errand to satisfy everyone back at school’s ‘urgent’ need for a variety of coffees, hot chocolate’s, and tea lattes, which didn’t sound like much, however your oh so gracious sensei insisted you go to this very specific cafe that was about a half an hour walk away instead of the one that was barely a ten minute walk away. Fushiguro seemed particularly annoyed with that, but then again, when wasn’t he annoyed by one thing or another.

The only thing was that you assumed he was bothered because Gojō had made yet another needlessly difficult request of him, however while he was annoyed with Gojō , that wasn’t exactly the reason why. The reason he was particularly peeved was because his teacher said the two of you just haaad to go together. “It’s safer that way.” , he said “Treat it like a mission!”, he said.

Bullshit. 

Gojō was testing him on something even he didn’t want to think about, let alone admit to. Fushiguro told him one thing, ONE THING about you, just an off handed comment on how much you had improved using your cursed technique in such a short amount of time, and that’s all it took for Gojō to give him that fucking look. At least, Fushiguro thought it was only one thing, but the more Gojō started making little comments about the two of them, about how he thinks they’d be sooo cute together, he realized that maybe he had been unconsciously talking about you more than he thought. That was true too, but he wasn’t one for much talk and the little that he did say wasn’t enough to tip Gojō or anyone else off about his apparent interest in you. As it turns out, the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ is true, and that’s especially so for someone as observant as Gojō is.

He saw all the little things that most people probably didn’t have a second thought about, but he had known Megumi for a long time now so to him, his actions were clear as day. The little touches on your shoulder to gently move you out of the way, the way he would tend to gravitate towards you whenever all of you first years were on missions together, how distracted he’d be if you had a bit of a hard time fighting off a curse. Gojō could go on and on about the tiny ways Megumi treated you better, with more care, than anyone else, but he chose not to pester him too aggressively. He knew if he did that, Megumi would shut him down just as aggressively and dig deeper into the denial about his feelings for you. So instead, Gojō pushed him in little ways, like teaming you two together for training practices and in this case, sending you out together to get drinks.

Megumi knew that of course, that Gojō was messing with him, but man was it hard to say no when your face lit up and you exclaimed that you could actually go for a hot chocolate. So now here you were, walking side by side in silence that was currently doing nothing but make him overthink. Should he say something? Would that be weird? Or were you off put by the fact that he wasn’t saying anything? All the while he had that usual grumpy look on his face that was really just one of concentration, but you didn’t take it to heart regardless. You had known him long enough now to know that even when he did look upset, he kind of just had a resting grumpy face and it didn’t necessarily mean anything. Still, you would admit that you were feeling a bit awkward.

You liked Fushiguro, maybe a tad bit more than what you admitted to your other friends, but while the two of you were friendly and worked just fine together, you had never really spent time alone with one another outside of school, and as you walked through the slightly crowded sidewalks you realized you didn’t really know how he felt about you. Sure you were associates and classmates, but did he see you in that way? Did he only tolerate you? Or maybe he was just indifferent, not thinking of you as much more or much less than someone he worked along side. Even though you didn’t have any answers to said questions, you couldn’t say you were nervous to be out with him. In fact it was kind of nice, even if you weren’t talking much, and you were okay with settling and just internally gushing about it to yourself. So you kept to yourself with a slight smile on your face, stopping for a second here or there when something in one of the shop windows caught your eye or to press your cold hands to your mouth and blow warm air onto them.

You had said you were fine, but the temperature seemed to keep dropping, and when you felt a small damp prickle of iciness on your nose you realized why. That one snowflake slowly turned to many as snow began to fall steadily from the sky, catching on your hair and jacket but melting as soon as it came in contact with your cheeks. 

“Pfft, no wonder it’s gotten so cold. I seriously thought we weren’t going to get any snow until later on in the season, right?” You asked, turning to him with a laugh as you rubbed your arms as if that would do much to help through your coat. 

“Guess not.”, he said with another shrug. “Doesn’t look like it’ll stick though, we should be fine.”

He peered out of the corner of his eye at you, watching as you shoved your hands into your pockets and gave him a nod before looking up as you walked to watch the snow fall in a childlike awe. Something ticked in him, another one of those little irritating itches that he would get whenever you would do something like that. Something so simple, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away. That, and the irrational part of him that was currently screaming at him to do something stupid, an internal voice that was getting louder and louder with every fall of a snowflake and shiver of your shoulders until finally he just had to give in.

He let out an annoyed huff, not at you but at the fact that he felt so stupid and absurdly flustered as he unwrapped his scarf and took his gloves off, temporarily shoving them into one pocket as he stopped to lean over and wrap his scarf snuggly around your neck instead. You jumped a little in surprise as you tore your eyes from the sky and gave him a quizzical look, but before you could say anything a pair of gloves that were a little too big for you were shoved into your hands as well. 

“Oh, thank you but I’m really-“

“It’s fine.” He cut you off, but not in a mean way. You noticed the hint of pink on his cheeks, but surely that was due to the cold, right? He sighed again in an attempt to make himself feel a little less tense as he continued on in a more relaxed tone. “Seriously, I was getting too warm anyways.”

Now you really couldn’t help but smile as you gave him a small nod before slipping on both gloves. They were too big just like you thought, but warm, and the fuzziness bristling in your stomach seemed to help warm you up as well. You absent mindedly tugged his scarf a little closer around you as the the two of you began to walk again, and your own cheeks began to heat up a bit as you inhaled his scent. Though you couldn’t really pinpoint what it was, it was like a little not-so-gentle reminder that he really did just give you his scarf and gloves to wear. You tried not to let it get to you, he was just being nice and he said he was too warm anyways, but you still had to bite your inner cheek to keep yourself from smiling too wildly and risk him thinking you’re a total creep. 

“Thanks Megumi, I appreciate it.” 

Oh god no.

He thought he had steeled himself but that caused him to stop in his tracks, only for a moment or two, before his body went into self preservation mode and moved on its own, but the way his heart skipped a beat in response to something as dumb as you calling him by his first name for the first time was everything but calm and collected. Still, as much as he tried to keep even an ounce of what he was really feeling from showing on his features, it only took that little halt in his step for you to realize what you just said.

“Oh, shit- I’m sorry. That’s probably kind of weird for me to call you.”

“It’s fine.” He repeated the same words he had said only a few minutes ago, only this time he didn’t sound nearly as confident. Whatever was going on in his chest was not, in fact, fine, but what was he supposed to say? ‘You treating me like I’m a close friend seriously fucks with my doubts of having a thing for you’? For heaven’s sake he could take out a literal murderous demon in the blink of an eye but god forbid he try to keep his normally cool composure in front of who he now had to admit was his crush.

“If it really isn’t fine you don’t have to act like it is.” You laughed out awkwardly, still having trouble trying to read his features. 

He hated seeing that bit of doubt and worry in your eyes, enough so that he shoved what he was feeling down even if it was just long enough for him to give some reassurance that you referring to him so casually was actually more than just ‘fine’.

“I’m not ‘acting’. If it really bothered me I would say something about it. Trust me, I’ve gotten good at telling people off...” He grumbled, his mood slightly souring at the mere thought of what Gojō would do if he could see him now, with color tinting his cheeks and his brain scrambling for the right words to say which, judging by the short laugh you gave that was simply music to his ears, he had successfully done.

“True, true. Guess I’ll just have to stay on your good side then, yeah? Dunno if I could take it if you were actually mad at me.”

He scoffed and muttered in response as he trudged ahead of you.

“As if you would ever be on my bad side…”

“Hm?”

“I said ‘can we hurry up before it gets worse outside’. If we take much longer Gojō is going to start blowing up my phone.” 

You laughed and then smiled in a way that you could only imagine looked incredibly goofy as you stared at his back while he continued walking ahead of you, maybe just a tiny bit giddy that he was ok with you being a little more personal and less formal with him. Surely that meant the two of you were friends, right? Or maybe he could think of you as something more some day…

“Are you coming with?”

“Yeah, yeah!” You exclaimed, shaking your head and leaving those thoughts for another time in order to allow yourself to enjoy this moment as it was, warmed in the face of the winter chill by a cozy set of winter clothes and a fuzzy feeling in your heart.