#cause despite wanting to be ok with being alone in a fandom space its so hard to do so when you want to collaborate/ask for ideas and thing
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flyingspicerack · 2 years ago
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i need like... a fanfic helper, you know? someone to just go to with all my ososan questions and to get second opinions i was telling my roommate (who i bother enough with all my qs) that i need like, an ososan veteran on standby who wants to help me and knows all the ins and outs, cause as much as i love ososan, im still new here and there are always new things im finding out, you know? I still havent made it through all the drama cds and ... uah i dunno... I guess i just wish for more knowledgeable people to speak with i guess
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chubby-dragon13 · 4 years ago
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An Unexpected Visit
Welp It’s been a century since I’ve written anything on this blog. My current hyperfixation fandom now is League of legends though there is literally no WG stories for this fandom at all and the only ones ive seen are for the same females so ive just decided to write somthing for myself with my favorite ship, the two ninja masters Shen and Zed.
I WILL MAKE THIS AS OBVIOUS AS POSSIBLE. THIS IS A WEIGHT GAIN STORY SO IF YOU DONT LIKE IT JUST KEEP ON SCROLLING OK! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ANY HATE OK? THANKS.
He knew he was going to get caught. That was the plan after all. Did Shen wail on him a bit harder then he expected. Just a bit. It was honestly more surprising that he was alive if he really had to think about it. Like his father though Shen had that odd mercy that he never did understand and had him shipped to Tuula Prison where he was purged, rather painfully, of his shadow magic and left in a cell alone. Now he sits on his simple, slightly ratty bed and finishes his lunch for the day, just as he does everyday. He places the plate to the side and places his hand on his stomach. Looking down he flinches slightly at the new doughy softness that has made it’s self known slowly but surely in his time in this cell. Never being allowed to leave his cell much and eating more then he normally would has certainly taken its toll. The master of shadow never really ate much if at all most days and now to suddenly eat three meals a day and not move around much had added plushness he never thought he’d ever see on himself. He grimaces at the taught peasant tunic he’s wearing. It had been getting tighter recently. This would be the forth time he’d need a new shirt. A deep sigh escapes his lips as his hand moves over his distended stomach down to his thickened thighs. It was the oddest sensation to be so…big. Along with this size also came the weight. His movements were slow and and clunky compared to how they used to be because of it. Even walking has changed. From the smooth quick strides to an odd slow sway as his thighs push each other to move forward. Seeing what he’s become from what he was will never cease being embarrassing. Not that he can do much about it anymore. He lays back on the bed and winces as the bed frame creaks. Nothing to do now but lament what once was.
Shen isn’t entirely sure what he’s doing as he walks into the prison. For months now his mind has been filled with the thought of his childhood best friend since he was caught. Of course he pushed duty first above all else. He was caught and now paying for his crime. There should be nothing more to this story. It’s done and over with. At least it should be. His heart and mind seem to be telling him otherwise and was now dragging the Eye of Twilight to Tuula prison to see him. Perhaps if he sees him one more time he’ll finally get over this attachment. The guards are quick to let him in and don’t ask questions when he asks to be left alone with Usan. He’s informed where his cell is and makes a bee line there. As he gets closer though he slows and begins to second guess himself a bit. Why is he doing this again? What was the point? Usan was gone only Zed remained. Yet why did he keep thinking there was a bit of him that he loved still left in this albino man? No. He had to do this. Closer was the only way to truly move on. He’s walking pace renewed he quickly made it to what was supposed to be Zed’s cell but as he peers in he doesn’t see the slender pale figure he was expecting to see. In its place was still a pale form but it was much, much larger then he remembered. Quietly he takes a couple unsure steps forward towards the large man and experimentally calls out to them.
“Usan? Zed? Is that you?” The figure suddenly goes completely still like it was flash frozen and now a statue. Burgundy eyes look back at him with a wide surprised expression. He knew those eyes. This was most definitely Zed. Shen enters his cell and watches as Zed rolls his newly rotund body upright with a couple soft grunts. The albino puffs a bit and takes in a breath as he sits on the bed.
“Shen. What brings you here? I’m sure you’ve heard I am incapable of causing trouble without my powers.” The ginger looks down at the pudgy man with a raised eyebrow. Despite his shock of seeing Zed like this he keeps his voice in his usual calm monotone.
“I am certain the lack of power is a smaller reason for you not causing trouble.” The former Master of Shadows glares up at him. Ah, so there is still some fire in him. That’s oddly nice to see.
“Glad to see your eyes are still functioning.” Zed snaps back at him. Shen sighs.
“I did not come here to fight with you.” The huff that comes from the seated male tells him that he does not believe him.
“Then do tell. Why are you here?” A simple enough question to ask. Not so simple to answer. He supposes being truthful and blunt should be the way to go. Like pulling out a thorn.
“I came here to see you.” The expression of disbelief on Zed’s face tells him he’s still untrusting. Zed knows Shen does not lie but he couldn’t be here for such a simple reason.
“You came here. To see me? Why?” Shen breaks eye contact and lets his blue tinted eyes roam down towards Zed’s new acquisition. The bulging mass sitting heavily in his lap, taking up so much space on those larger thighs that are spread wide on the bed. He is completely transfixed on this new plump form. Every curve and bulge unique and begging him to reach out and explore the tattooed pale mass underneath that strained tunic that seems to be struggling to hold back the, what he assumes to be, slowly growing belly underneath. He clearly was going to need a new shirt soon and possibly new pants as well to hold all of him in. The normally stone face of Zed has gained a hint of red as the Eyes of Kinkou Master roam his body. He clears his throat to try to regain Shen’s attention and those glowing blue eyes look back up at his cherubic face.
“Well? Now that you’ve looked me over enough answer the question. Why are you here?” Shen coughs into his hand and is obviously trying to shove his awkwardness down.
“I told you, I came here to see you. I am not sure why either. You have…been on my mind a lot recently and I thought perhaps if I saw you again I could move on.” The truth has been revealed and a slightly uncomfortable silence fills the air.
“I see. Well, you’ve seen me. Can you move on now?” The slight sadness in Zed’s voice as he says that is not lost on Shen.
“No.” He says bluntly. It was true as well. Seeing Zed, and his new form, again has only increased his heart and mind’s desire to be close to the one he loved, loves, once more. A deep inhale and a couple large strides is the only warning Zed gets as Shen closes the space between them and crouches down to embrace him fully. The albino man goes completely still in shock. Oh. He was not expecting this at all. The embrace was so warm and strong. Large hands squeezing his soft, yielding flesh.Defined jaw and cheekbones pushed against pudgy, round cheeks. Muscular torso against plush belly and breasts. Contrasts so stark but so oddly pleasant against each other. It takes Zed a few moments to fully sink into the hug and return it with his own plush arms. They stay like this for a good while before one of the large hands moves to the front and gives the large fatty mass a gentle squeeze. This brings a sudden small gasp from the shorter man.
“So forward are we?” The assailant lets out a soft, short laugh, hand working the swollen fat slightly.
“I would be lying if I said I was not a bit curious to feel what your body felt like now.” A small strange shiver runs down Zed’s spine. Curious was he? Maybe he should indulge in Shen’s curiosity. He pushes Shen back a bit and lifts the tunic up and off him, letting the restrained tattooed fat flood forward.
“Oh.” Is all the Eye of Twilight can muster as his vision is filled with jiggling paleness. His mouth going a bit dry at the sight of so much ample fat. He can’t remember ever being attracted to larger men but there is just something about the way Zed wears all of this that just seems so nice. A pudgy hand rubs softly at the bulging stomach ever so tauntingly.
“Well, you want a feel?” Yes. Yes he does. Shen wastes no time in letting his hands sink deeply into the blubbery mound on Zed’s lap. It was so warm and lush so perfect for holding. He squeezes his way down to the marked underbelly and lifts the full mass slightly and lets it fall into place. Blue eyes locked in and completely mesmerized by the wobbling it does. A chuckle breaks his concentration.
“I did not take you for someone so interested in this?” Zed gestures to his bloated frame. Shen smiles slightly.
“Neither did I. I suppose I just can not resist you no matter what you look like.” Red flashes across ivory skin.
“Ah. Ever the one for flattery hm?” A surprising tender kiss lands and presses against his belly. The smile widening a bit more.
“No. I just speak truth. You have always been lovely and I still mean it.”  A gentle push that is so reminiscent from when they were young lands on Shen’s face. It seems he has managed to fluster the once cold shadow master. He watches in amusement as the albino squirms slightly and is red faced from embarrassment. Cute. His hand goes up to cup his soft cheek and rubs it tenderly. Getting up he continues to stroke Zed’s cheek. Light blue and burgundy eyes meet before closing. Lips meet with passion that had been pent up for so long. Hands eagerly taking as much of each other as they can until the stronger of the two pushes them down onto the bed. The hefty round frame is quickly straddled. Big plump belly pressed against hardened abs. The kiss breaks when they run out of breath and Shen is looking down at the panting face underneath and can’t help but dip down to kiss the thick layer of fat that has given Zed a second chin. A small laugh comes out of the pale man.
“Having fun?” A hand lands on the center of the tattooed girth and wobbles it a little playfully.
“Yes. How could I not?” Shen lays himself down next to Zed on the bed and holds him close. The hand has not left the shadow masters portly stomach and starts rubbing circles into it. A quiet groan escapes the bloated man. That feels so wonderful. A chuckle comes out of the ginger and he leans in to kiss the others cheek.
“Is that nice?” The white haired man nods and presses himself more into him. So desperate for the touch of one another. So much time has past. So much time wasted. Now they will waste no more time. No more what if’s or wondering what could have been. Living in the past no longer when the future holds something worth thinking about. The blue clad ninja squeezes him tightly, fingers caressing down the side and takes a large handful of a ripe love handle. The tattooed man in his arms holds on to one of his powerful biceps and rests his head underneath his chin. A position they have not had in many years. Calm, comfortable silence befalls them until a faint rumble disturbs the quiet. A dark eyebrow raises up and blue eyes cast down at the tint of red against alabaster cheeks.
“Hungry?” The sound returns to answer for the question. The albino in his arms grumbles as he tries to hide his face from the spirit eyes.
“I’ll take that as a yes then. I suppose I’ll have to remember to bring something for you to eat next time I visit.” A half hearted smack to his arm causes him to laugh faintly.
“As if I need more food.” Zed complains. His belly betraying his declaration with an audible rumble. A kiss makes its way onto his head.
“Well it isn’t like you are going anywhere and whats the harm of having something a little special when I visit?” Dark red eyes look up at him slightly narrowed in suspicion.
“If I didn’t know better I would be assuming you like me like this?” He emphasizes “this” by grabbing a hand full of his plush middle. A war worn callous hand grabs the pale pudgy one and runs a thumb across it.
“Usan, I will like you no matter your form. I will admit your new softness is pleasant but it’s you I adore more then anything.” The ever obvious blush that casts upon Zed’s face brings Shen a deep joy. Those dark ruby eyes cast down a bit as their owner musters up his voice.
“You are just flattering me.” The voice says softly. A finger and thumb come up to take the fat under Zed’s chin and lift his head up to meet loving blue eyes.
“We both know that I am not lying to you. I love you as much as you love me my Heartlight. No amount of weight will change that.” The kiss that comes after is filled with love that makes the once cold shadow master’s heart flutter like when he was young. Parting leaves them wanting a bit more and dip back in for a quick peck before they gain tender smiles on their faces.
“I know you do not lie. That has always been something I have done but not you. You’ve always been so blunt and to the point.” This brings a chortle out of Shen.
“I have no reason to lie and don’t always care for small talk when there is a matter at hand. Like what I should bring you. “ He says a bit cheekily. The large hand returns to its new favorite place upon the large engorged stomach and gives it a playful pinch. An equally playful swat comes down on the cheeky hand. The rarest of broad smiles appears upon the normally stoic face of the Eye of Twilight.
“Ass.” Is the only response he gets from the slightly pouty albino. The ginger decides in that moment would be a good moment to play dumb and reaches further back to pinch at the large behind of the Master of Shadows which prompts a quicker, slightly harder swat. Shen pretends to be confused and looks at him innocently.
“What? You said ass? I assumed that is where you wanted me to touch you?” Those deep red eyes narrow and a plump hand comes forth to squeeze at one of the blue coated large pecs. This in turn makes the cheeky ninja take in a sharp breath. A smirk is plastered on Zed’s face as it was now Shen’s turn to be dusted with red across his face.
“Hm? Is something wrong?” Oh so two can play at the pretending to be dumb game. Light blue eyes take their turn to narrow and the hand holding the wide doughy behind squeeze firmly making Zed gasp slightly. A tan face is quick to use the small distraction and worm its way to the side of Zed’s neck and bury itself. An assault of light kisses there follows and he can feel the blubbery body under him trembling and wobbling from the need to laugh and squirm. Stubborn, still is the shadow master and trying so desperately to maintain his composer in a losing battle. It’s not long before he’s laughing sparaticly and trying to wiggle out of the very strong grasp. Damn Shen and his ridiculous strength! The onslaught continues and the albino is helpless until Shen feels some mercy to let Zed breath. A pleased smile clear on his face.
“I hate you.” Is the response he gives to the man next to him. There is no malice in his voice at all as he says this and the spirit seer knows this.
“I love you too Zed.” That statement is punctuated with a kiss and a huff from the white haired man. He was grumpy it seems.
“My poor Heartlight. Did that upset you? Would you feel a little better if I bring you those dumplings I know you like the next time I visit?” The sudden stillness from Zed tells Shen all he needs to know. He still remembers fondly the times they would go and get them together and even the times Zed had snuck off to get some by himself. They were delicious and he could not blame his love for liking them so much.
“I’ll take that as a yes and perhaps I should bring you some larger clothing as well? Im sure these garbs won’t last much longer and I would hate for you to be so uncomfortable. Maybe even a couple sizes bigger so you have a little room to grow into.” A much deeper red spreads across those chubby white cheeks. Shen tugs curiously on the hem of Zed’s pants. There was not much give there and the stitching down towards those thick thighs were becoming quite strained. The larger body clearly needed room to breath, and grow. The blushing man was oddly quiet which in Shen’s experience means that he is right in his assumption.
“You think I will get bigger?” An uncertain voice says. Blue eyes soften at the question. He muscular man sighs and caresses a warm cheek.
“I do not know but I will love you none the less. I am serious though. I would like to make sure you are comfortable.” The slightly concerned expression turns into questioning.
“I am in prison. I am not supposed to be comfortable” Ah, there he goes starting to push away his love slightly again. Shen will not let him do that again this time non again. A warm soft hand is placed upon his firm jaw draws his attention.
“I know that face. It seems you are determined to make me as comfortable as possible and I can not do much about it can I?” A low chuckle comes out from the blue ninja.
“No, you can’t do anything about it. I will love you and let it be known to you in any way I can.” He says confidently. A pleasant smile grows on Zeds’s face.
“I should have expected nothing less. I love you too My Heartlight.” The albino ends that sentence with a full hug, unifying them once more. They sigh in blissful comfort and time seem to stand still. The world feels so distant from this moment and neither of them wish to return to reality. Unfortunately time does pass and eventually Shen’s visit must come to an end. When the Eye of Twilight shifts to get up Zed knows his blissful time with him is tragically over. Fully sitting up he watches his love stand and stretch before offering him a hand to get up himself.
“Guide me to the door?” A dry short laugh leaves Zed. The door was only a couple steps behind Shen but it would be rude not to see him out. He takes the offered hand and heaves himself up to his feet. All that fat he is carrying drops down and bounces a bit. Standing up he follows the same route that Shen did and stretches a bit leaving his belly open for a couple hands to cup the bulging fat. His own hands meet the strong firm ones as he smiles up at the owner.
“I will miss you.” The master of shadows says honestly. He does not know how long his beloved will be gone but even now before he has even left his heart already aches for him to return. One of the hands moves up to stroke his cheek. A strong, hard abdomen pushes into his lush belly. Those eyes still full of affection he long since thought he would never see again. The lips he longs to kiss over and over part to speak.
“And I will miss you as well. So much. I will try to visit you as much as I can. Perhaps one day when you will be released we can try to have a normal life. As normal as we could have it.” A hopeful dream. Zed would normally crush those dreams as soon as they arise but this time there just seemed to be so much mirth and hope in this one that he just did not have the heart to break it. He would love to try and start life over with Shen once more. Fat or not he would have his love and that is all that mattered now to him. The order would survive with Kayn, it was not like he could do much in this state anyway. Why not try to be happy for once in his life?
“I would adore that, My Heartlight.” The taller man smiles warmly before leaning down to ensnare his plump love in a deep final kiss. Their arms wrapping tightly around one another as if they would never see each other again. Who knew how long it would be before they would see each other again. The kiss breaks with slight panting and immeasurable amounts of fondness. They are stalling for the inevitable departure, they know it, but it is hard to say goodbye after just fully reconnecting.
“Please…be safe.” Is the one request that comes from the shorter man. A hand squeezes his plump upper arm reassuringly.
“I will. For you. In turn I expect you to behave. If you seem like you’ve change it could make it easer to have you released from here.” A hand gestures to the surrounding cell. A short chortle leaves the prisoner.
“By the time I’m allowed to leave I am sure I will be as wide as the doorway.” Zed says sarcastically. Shen glances behind him to look at the aforementioned doorway. It was quite wide. At least double the width Zed was now. A small flash of thought fills the gingers mind for a moment. The thought of Zed being that large made his insides unusually warm. He keeps his stoic face and doesn’t show a hint of what he was currently thinking about.
“As I said and will continue to say. That will not bother me in the slightest. As long as it is you, you may look however you wish. I will always love you.” The heartfelt sentiment is reciprocated with a quick kiss to the jaw from the shadow master.
“I know. I suppose this is where you leave?” Those burgundy eyes glint with a touch of sorrow. Shen breathes heavily with equal amounts of gloom.
“Unfortunately. I will send letters to you between my visits. If we cannot see each other frequently then we can at least write.”  The forlorn feeling in the room lessens slightly at that proclamation.
“I would like that. Very much. Goodbye My Heartlight.” Zed says softly.
“Goodbye, My Love.” Their departure is marked with the actual final embrace and deep passionate kiss. How they wish they did not wish to part but alas it can not be for now. They had waited years for each other with their dispute what is a few more with pleasant visits and and ever growing love.
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ithinkthingsaboutstuff · 5 years ago
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have you seen the finale
hi friend 
I have seen the final and holy pyjama lama 
I have some thoughts.
things i liked
1- Alex!!!
I loved her suit the black and blue, nice ( it ties in well with the superAlex look) also until further notice i will be calling her ‘Blue Bird’ (although i do agree it looks nightwing ish, I just love dick grayson to much to “take the name” from him) i also like that it goes well with Nia’s white and blue. 
so in future line ups its bule and white (nia) black and blue (alex) blue and red (kara) black and red (J’onn/Megan) , so that’s cool that they have team colours mixed between them. it also make brainy stand out with his purple which is a mix of red and blue so i found all of that really neat.
another thing I adored in this ep was that Alex wanted Kara to see her in the suit first and alone (behind the curtain) it was such a nice sister moment (that i have been missing this season) and its Alex ‘returning the favour’ as being the first to know about Kara. so it was a moment that was so sweet i actually had to pause for a second cause it was just to perfect.
and everything with her and Kelly was so cool and fun
2- Nia using her dream powers, god i have missed them, and her ‘day dreaming’ was nice to see again. She was also bad ass this ep.
3- Megan!! i did not know how much i missed her until she came back. i don’t know why she showed up out of the blue but i love her to much to care (if i had to guess it was to have another strong fighter character’ so that Melissa could stay away from action scenes without the team being under powered) 
the way she talked to Nia was so sweet and nice, big space mom energy. 
and the way she talked about J’onn was nice to, talking about both of their flaws and mistakes they made (lying about being a white martian and J’onn’s reaction) so it was nice to have that acknowledged. plus she was just seamless character into this group like she has been there all season so that was great.  
4- J’onn the gossip space dad loves to chat about his girls and that is just a nice touch to his character (and his relationship with Megan)
5- and this might be a hot take but i like how Kara treated and talked to Lena in the ep, not cruel or unfair but with honesty and a bit reserved, when she went off at Lena i literally yelled “finally”. when she said something along the lines of ‘i made one mistake and then you spent all this time to hurt me in every single way’ that felt so good to hear like FUCKING YES
6- Brainy’s ( for the sake of time Meghan’s brainy is being called M-brainy)
GREEN BRAINY HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!
i love and hated this part of the ep. like brainy pushing through all the pain to get the job done was soooo good and heart breaking. M-brainy was perfect to bring back for this (and a nice surprise). You could feel the sibling love between them.
the amount of pain he was willing to suffer and then Nia talking about not trusting him after his changes is so painful (in a good way).
when he said ‘i don’t want to die alone’ in the bar is such a tender moment that i could watch it a hundred times and it will still hit the same way. 
and when they held hands and had the ‘will you stay with me’ ‘until the very end’
(side note: 1-good call back ref, 2- i love that they used James line and not lily/snape’s ‘always’ i love alan rickan but snape’s character is super dice-y, plus James line always hits me in a way that i can only describe as a ‘Tolkening’ way, like gentle love that could warm a whole kingdom, kind of deal, just listen to billy boyd’s ‘the last goodbye’ that’s the feeling i’m talking about)
Lex coming in and taking the bottle is so hurtful and terrible and my heart hurts at that scene. (Lex is a bitch)  
Brainy, who’s character is built on compassion and love for others (despite outward appearances) is alone at what he thinks is the end, and no one knows what he did to protect them and is gone with out a goodbye or a even a fond ‘final memory’ of him for them to hold on to.   
he just goes into the night quietly thinking its what he deserves, it is honestly one of the reasons i love his character (comic or otherwise) is that quiet side to him, he is arrogant, smart-mouthed even insensitive but when things effect him quietly and deeply. and it is in the quiet where he shows love, even if no one understands it or even sees it. (i love him)     
(they better save him or i will burn this whole fandom to the ground.)
-------
Ok now on to the things that bugged me
1- Lex is a bitch (Jon is killing it though) 
I hate, hate, hate that he ‘planed’ for brainy to bottle them and then take it from him like for fuck sake can someone anyone get this guy bitch-slap please 
like I was fine with him ‘winning the day’ but I wanted him to be surprised or at least bested in SOME WAY like damn no one is that good 
and brainy IS SMARTER THEN HIM!!!
it was fine for like the first half of the season (first of the second half? whatever) but to not have a SINGLE THING go wrong for him is just bullshit 
let him underestimate brainy, let people one up him but not in a way that will completely stop him but in a way that he has to rethink how he moves forward.
the perfectness of Lex is getting annoying now. (which ironically is the most common complaint about the superfam in general)
2- (Might be another hot take) Kara just forgave Lena at the end 
like what? really she does one day of probation and that’s that. after a whole season months and mouths of backstabbing and betrayal and TRYING to kill Kara and then having the nerve to BLAME her for it.
“look what you’ve done”  to Kara and not ‘look what I’ve done for you’
I’m not saying she should not have a redemption I just think it needed to be like more earned then literally just making a suit and standing in the way of like one not so good assassin.
i think Kara should have been more of ‘I can’t forgive you yet, but i want us to work towards it, if your willing.’
cause that “you proved yourself at every turn, I was not ready to forgive you yet but i am now”
like WTF,  
i am legitimately horrified by how quick that was. like work towards it, that is all i ask.    
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fangirlshrewt97 · 5 years ago
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The Witcher Fic - Give Me One More Chance (Part 4)
Author: Fangirlshrewt97
Fandom: The Witcher (TV Series)
Pairing: Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier|Dandelion, Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer of Vengerburg, Geralt of Rivia & Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Jaskier|Dandelion & Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon
Characters: Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier|Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Yennefer of Vengerburg, Roach
Rating: Teen Audiences and Up (Swearing, Mild Gore)
Warnings: None Apply
Additional Tags: Post Episode S01E06: Rare Species, Emotionally Constipated Geralt of Rivia, Pining, Touch-Starved Geralt of Rivia, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt & Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Canon-Typical Levels of Violence, Monsters, I really put Geralt through the wringer here, but I am ok with that because poor Jaskier did not deserve it, I do acknowledge though that Geralt is multiple levels of screwed up and maybe thought he was helping them both when he was actually hurting them
Summary: After the dragon hunt, Geralt tries to cope with his actions. And misses Jaskier a lot. But refuses to deal with his feeling even when it almost kills him.
Alternate title: 5 things Geralt misses about Jaskier + 1 he didn’t need to
Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24389734
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
                                                              *****
To Jaskier’s credit, the bard did not let their incredibly unexpected interruption break his stride, especially when Yennefer came to his side. No, the bard’s eyes turned stony and he turned his gaze away from him. Geralt bore every second of pain. But then,
“Dandelion!”
Ciri raced forward, dodging and zigzaging through the crowd before throwing herself at the bard, arms snapping tightly around his waist. Jaskier staggered, but stayed standing. He placed his lute on an empty space in the table in front of him before returning the hug.
“My darling.” Jaskier says, voice and eyes so full of fondness Geralt wanted to break a table.
“Bard, another song!” A villager demanded. Jaskier’s eyes dim just a bit, even if his fake smile didn’t.
“I’m so sorry my good fellow, but I’m afraid I have sung myself near hoarse this evening. I thank you all for your most generous coin, and ask you to bear with me. I will be here tomorrow as well and promise to take all requests!” Jaskier says, accompanying his declaration with an overly exaggerated bow. Ciri covered her mouth and giggled, laughing when Jaskier tilts his head and winks at her.
The villagers grumbled but accepted Jaskier’s offer. Many started to take their leave since the show was over. Jaskier spotted an empty booth in the corner, and picked up his lute before herding Ciri towards the booth. He passed by the barkeep and orders two cups of ale. He was not doing this sober.
Geralt stayed frozen until Yennefer gently bumped him. She leaned into his ear and whispered “I’m going to find me and Ciri a room at the inn. You go talk to your bard. And fix things.” She said before disappearing behind him.
Steeling himself, Geralt made his way over to the stall. Ciri was sitting besides Jaskier and talking a mile a minute. And she was calling him Dandelion. What?
Geralt squeezed himself into the opposing bench. Jaskier barely spared him a glance before taking a swing of his cup of ale. He did not pass the other cup to him.
Before he can think of what to say, Ciri finished her story to Jaskier before plastering herself to him and turned to Geralt, eyes twinkling brighter than Geralt had ever seen them. He felt his heart wrench in his chest. It was a hard battle to convince himself that his heart ached due to those twinkles and not the fond smile Jaskier was giving her.
“Geralt! This is Dandelion!” Ciri said as if that explained anything. Jaskier chuckled lowly, and dammit if Geralt did not get goosebumps over the sound.
“Oh darling one, I already know this Witcher.”
Ciri turned back to him confused. “You do?”
“Mmhmm. He knows me too, except he knows me by another name.”
“What?”
“Jaskier.” Geralt interrupts. Jaskier met him head on. His smile was flat, and his face was blank. His heartbeat gave nothing away. Geralt hated it all.
Ciri’s face twisted into a frown before her eyes widened and she whispered to Geralt “Songbird? Your songbird was Dandelion?" before turning to Jaskier and asking him "You are Jaskier?”
It was difficult to say at whom she was more betrayed by.
An emotion flashes so briefly through Jaskier’s face that if Geralt had not been focusing on it so much, he would have missed it altogether. “Songbird huh? Has the White Wolf been talking about me little one?”
Ciri hesitated, glancing at Geralt, before slowly shaking her head.
The hurt was easier to spot, the scent of it enough to nearly have Geralt throwing himself at Jaskier’s feet. The narrowness of the booth and Ciri being the only things stopping him.
“Fiona.” Geralt addressed the girl, Jaskier was still not willing to talk to him. “How do you know Jaskier?”
“I…I didn’t know him as Jaskier. He is…was? I knew him as Dandelion. And he has been coming to Cintra every year on my birthday to sing at the celebration feast. Grandmother wasn’t too fond of him, but grandfather always convinced her to allow Dandelion to be the bard of honour in the end.” she explained succinctly.
Geralt didn’t know what to do with that information. Jaskier had been keeping track of his Child Surprise? And not told him even when they were travelling together? Why did he go as Dandelion?
Jaskier stepped into the conversation. “My dearest. It is getting late, and this one does not go easy on his fellow travelers, so I am sure you must be exhausted. Do you have a room? Or-”
“Yennefer got them a room at the town inn.” Geralt stated.
Jaskier flinched at the sorceress’s name. Geralt wanted to apologize.
“But-” Ciri started to protest only to quell at both their stares. She shrunk back into her seat. Jaskier softened first. He gently reached out to pet Ciri’s hair, tucking a loose strand behind her hair. “I will be here tomorrow to dearest. Go rest.”
“Promise?” Ciri asked, voice barely audible.
Jaskier smiled fondly at her and nods. He moved his hand to the back of her neck and brought her close to press a lingering kiss to her forehead.
He then leaned his own forehead against hers. “I promise.”
Ciri made a whining noise and threw her arms around his neck for a hug before moving back, standing and smoothening out the creases in her blue cloak. The coat had long since lost the shine after weeks of travelling through forests and backwater hamlets.
“You will stay here until I come back from the inn?” Geralt asked as he rose to accompany Ciri.
He knew Jaskier would not lie to Ciri if he were to truly disappear in the night, but that was no guarantee the bard would be willing to talk to him alone.
Jaskier gave him an appraising look before giving one curt nod.
“Thank you.” Geralt said, trying to infuse as much gratitude as he could into the words. Because Jaskier saying he would be here meant Jaskier was giving him a chance to explain him. A chance to fix the mess he made.
Not wanting to keep the bard waiting too long, Geralt quickly herded Ciri to the inn with Yennefer, telling the pair not to stay awake for him. Ciri agreed easily for once, and went to get ready for bed. Yennefer caught his arm as he turned to return to the tavern. “Geralt.”
“I need to go Yen.”
“Of course you do. What I am saying is that you should be careful. Do not break that man’s heart twice.”
Geralt glances sharply at her, but Yennefer meets his gaze head on. Her violet eyes were blank, just like that day on the mountain.
Gritting his teeth he pulled away from her and went back to the tavern. Jaskier was still at the booth like he said he would be, and despite knowing the bard wouldn’t go back on his word, seeing the familiar silhouette quelled a small part of Geralt’s brain. As he walked towards the booth and sat down, his heart pounded.
The two men just stared at each other for a long time without saying anything. Geralt focused on Jaskier’s doublet, a signature vivid colour that made him stand out in a crowd without hurting the onlooker’s eyes. Geralt felt his lips quirk in a smile as his eyes feasted on the rich dye.
The world had become so dull and colourless in this last year, and only now sitting in front of the bard himself did Geralt realize how much of his world’s colours had been given to him by Jaskier. He could not even blame him for stealing away the colors of Geralt's world. The Witcher had been the one who pushed him away. His colorful songbird, and oh how that hurt. His bard of a thousand hues, impractical outfits of every color of the rainbow, who peacocked his way into the best courts of the land, and wrong beds too. With plumage that adorned him perfectly, from the golden doublet that made his skin glow to the blue one that made his eyes stand unnaturally apart. To that damned royal red doublet that haunted Geralt’s nightmares, causing him to whip his head in its direction if he ever caught that shade from the corner of his eye in every town they passed.
“It is good to see you Jaskier.” Geralt finally said.
The bard’s face flashed through a myriad of emotions before resetting to blank, but his eyes burned with anger hot enough Geralt felt as though he should be ash.
“That’s all you have to say?” Jaskier spit out. “’It’s good to see you Jaskier?”
Geralt grit his own teeth, trying not to let the bard provoke him into a fight.
“I am sorry. What I said that day in the mountains. I didn’t mean it.”
Jaskier laughed an ugly laugh that Geralt immediately hated. That was not how Jaskier sounded. That should never be how he sounded. Hollow and resentful.
“Oh you idiotic Witcher. You did mean every word though. That is the problem. You meant exactly what you said. You believed then that I was the reason for all the misfortune that you went through, that it was because of me that you had a hard life.” Jaskier finished his cup of ale and then took the other cup and gulped it down too. He looked half-feral by the end of it. “I always only ever wanted to help you Geralt. I wanted to ensure that your life was not as difficult. Every song, every bar fight with bigoted villagers, every doublespeak with nobility to pay you the actual cost of the kill and not shortchange you. Everything I did was for you. And you repaid me grandly. Truly.”
Geralt flinched. He curled his hands into fists. Jaskier was right. The human had only ever done what he thought was best for the Witcher. Never once worked against him, or used him solely for his benefit.
“I shouldn’t have said what I did that day in the mountains. You were not the cause of my problems. I have Ciri in my life because of you. Even if you don’t particularly like her, I have Yennefer because of you.”
Jaskier did not look less angry.
“Jaskier.” Geralt sighed. He was not one for words, that had always been Jaskier. But if he wanted to keep the bard in his life, he knew he would have to talk his way into regaining his companion. He decided to be honest. “I miss you.”
“I don’t.” Jaskier said. This time, Geralt couldn’t stop the filch. “I don’t miss your patronizing tone, I don’t miss you leaving me behind while on the road in the mornings and having to catch up with you, I don’t miss your taciturn silence as though you talking to me is beneath you, and I definitely don’t miss your glares and ‘fuck off’ attitude you have had with me for so very long. I never asked for more than you could give Geralt. You think the mountain is the first time you hurt me?” At Geralt’s horrified face, Jaskier laughed cruelly again. “You have hurt me with your actions for far longer than with your words Witcher. And whatever I might actually miss about travelling with you, the reasons not to currently far outweigh whatever reasons you will undoubtedly propose to me to convince me to travel with you.”
Seeing Geralt with no retort, Jaskier nodded sharply. “Yes, that’s what I guessed. It is late. I promised my young friend I would see her in the morning.”
Jaskier moved to leave, but Geralt shot out his hand to grip his wrist. Jaskier looked back at him before shaking himself loose. “Good night Geralt.”
It sounded too much like goodbye.
///
That night, once he put away the swords and made one last round around the inn to make sure everything was quiet, he lay on his bed with the handkerchief from so long ago. After so long between his armor and the fight at Kaer Morhen, the cloth was a dull white, yet to Geralt, all he saw was the snow white tint from when he first received it. And even as he brought it to his nose to scent it, knowing full well the scent was gone, he yearned for the spark of comfort it always gave.
He wondered if he could steal something from Jaskier before the bard left his life forever. And oh how much did that thought hurt him. The rainbow kaleidoscope the bard brought into his life, Geralt had not even noticed until faced with the bard. The hamlet seemed far more colorful now compared to when they walked into it, despite nothing having changed. Growling and prowling to his window, Geralt opened it and allowed the cold breeze to fill the room, biting into his face. Feeling real.
He had never thought to pay attention to the colours of the world, to see the beauty. He was a Witcher. His job revolved around the chaos and darkness of the world, around eliminating it. He had always been told he belonged in the same dangerous darkness he sought to make safe, too terrifying for humans to look at.
But Jaskier had never cared had he? He had seen him after a hunt, white as a ghost, black veins running across his body, eyes pitch black and other. And he had embraced him, metaphorically and literally.
He stood at the window until the silver moon was more than half done with its journey across the sky before he closed the window and tried to get some sleep.
He dreams of vivid songbirds dancing and singing from treetops bathed in sunlight.
///
Geralt spent the day studiously avoiding the tavern above which he could scent Jaskier laying around. The closest he allowed himself to get was strolling casually beneath its windows and hearing the strumming of a familiar lute drifting across the hardwood walls.
Yennefer must have said something to Ciri, because the little girl thankfully did not bring up Jaskier at all. Yennefer rolled her eyes when Geralt sent her a grateful nod.
The sun had barely set when Ciri finally could not contain her excitement at seeing Jaskier and tore across the hamlet into the tavern. Much like last night, Jaskier was at the center of the still empty tavern, though it was starting to fill up. Today, he was in a shiny blue-silver doublet and trousers, a dark grey chemise peeking out from under the open doublet.
Jaskier glanced up when their group entered the tavern, and learning from last night, braced himself against the table so he didn’t fall to the floor when Ciri crashed into him.
“Darling, oh how you are a sight for truly sore eyes.” Jaskier whispered into Ciri’s hair, still loud enough for Geralt to hear with his enhanced senses. Geralt knew he should probably at least give them the illusion of privacy, but the sight of Jaskier with his Child Surprise, with his daughter was giving him heart palpitations. Jaskier’s smile was so full of warmth and love, Geralt equally envied Ciri for being the recipient and yearned to have such a look directed at him. Especially once Jaskier caught his eyes and gave him a cold and impassive stare.
“Jask-” Geralt started only for the bard to interrupt him.
“I have a performance to start. I asked the barkeep to keep the table we sat at yesterday vacant for you three.” Jaskier stated. "Yennefer."
“It is good to see you Jaskier.” Yennefer said, for once not adding on any snide remarks. Geralt saw the clench of Jaskier’s jaw as he nodded.
By that time, the tavern had become as crowded as yesterday, and no sooner had they taken their seats that different voices started to shout out names of ballads. Jaskier laughed agreeably and quietened them with a performer’s charm.
“My dear friends, fear not, I will be here tonight for as long as you demand, I shall get to all your requests. But I had a request from a darling friend of mine, and I haven’t seen her in so very long, so if you don’t mind, I will fulfill her request first?” Jaskier said.
The crowd grumbled but grew silent when Jaskier began to strum. He launched into “The Bear and the Maidan Fair”, sending raucous cheers through the crowd as they began to keep beat with claps and boot stomping. Ciri was fully invested too, the song had always been so funny and the chorus was so catchy. Yennefer watched her fondly, smiling at the reminder than between the enormous untapped magical power and the price on her head that had her fleeing from hamlet to village to town, she was still a scared little girl who deserved every bit of fun they could give her.
It went on like that for the rest of night, hours of the bard singing song after song, never showing his exhaustion. Geralt basked in his voice, fearing this might be the last time he got to hear it, and wasn’t that the irony? He had for so long wished for Jaskier to be quiet, and here he was hoping Jaskier never stopped singing.
Jaskier danced around the tavern, pulling people out into the crowd, young girls and old men alike, inviting them to dance the jig with him until the whole tavern was filled with joy and laughter. Ciri even pulled Yennefer onto the dance floor, swinging their arms around and just letting go of their stresses for a week.
When the crowd finally dispersed, Ciri was swaying on her feet, looking ready to fall asleep standing.
After he was finished collecting all his Jaskier wordlessly walked with them to the inn.
He even helped tuck Ciri into bed. As he went to leave, Ciri grabbed his sleeve. “Dandelion, will you please come with us?”
Jaskier felt a lump in his throat. He still had so much anger and hurt from the way he had been treated by Geralt and even if unintentionally, Yennefer. Yet the one asking was this sweet little girl he had returned to see every year, the one being forced to grow up far too soon. The one he had thought dead until she blew into the inn like a miracle. The one who he saw butchered or slain when he closed his eyes.
Fuck Geralt and Yennefer. If they didn’t like him, that was their problem.
He was not going to leave her when she was asking so sincerely. Bending down to brush a soft kiss to her forehead Jaskier caressed her cheek and replied quietly “Alright princess.”
Ciri smiled at him and closed her eyes drifting off to sleep immediately. Taking a deep breath and drinking in the peaceful sight in front of him, Jaskier stood up and faced the other two in the room.
“I don’t care if neither of you want me coming with you, I am coming because Ciri asked, and honestly I have known the girl longer and am willing to bet my very lute she trusts me far more than you two. So I am going to come with you to wherever you are taking her. Any objections?” Jaskier ended, knowing full well neither would speak up.
Yennefer looked resigned to her fate, and Geralt looked shocked, but, and Jaskier hated his heart for daring to feel a spark of anything, hopeful.
“Good. We should leave tomorrow. Resupply what you need, we can leave after lunch.”
As Jaskier swept out of the room to return to his own, Geralt would swear the fire was sparking a little brighter red than before.
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moon-beam95 · 6 years ago
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Two of a kind
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By: Moon-Beam95
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Pairing: Klaus x Reader
Every child wants to be a hero, to have super-strength or to soar above the clouds, but let’s be real it won’t pay the bills. So when you realised you could see things others could not, you did the only logical thing and kept shtum. Like hell you were going to tell anyone about this freakshow. Thanks, but not thanks. Yet, you found that the older you became the harder it was to ignore them. The dearly departed wanted to talk, pass on message, demand that you help them, as if you owed them something. Fuck that noise! If they wanted your help they could damn well pay like every other fucker.
You started a sort of PI service, think Randall and Hopkirk, helped by the dead who you would then help, a little quid pro quo if you will. You had come to heavily rely on your powers a far cry from the child who was easily traumatised by the admittedly terrifying spectors. How do you tell the police that your sure your uncle murdered his wife when there was no proof, except his wife standing over him screaming obscenities, and gesturing wildly? How do you tell your parents that your not in fact playing make believe but playing with a lost little girl who never made it home? The one time you tried to explain,practically begging for them to say it would all be ok, they looked at you as if you were a monster, terrified beyond relief. So you sucked it up and laughed it off as it was all one big joke and never mentioned it again.
But like you said as you got older your powers grew stronger, which meant that the voices got stronger and you could slowly but surely could touch them, though this took a lot of effort on your part, easier for them to do damage. How do you tell the school nurse who slips you a pamphlet on abuse into your shaking hands, that the bruises littering your hands are from a man shot point blank by his lover in a jealous rage and not from an unfortunate home situation? Again, you don’t.
One of your cases brought you into contact with him. Klaus Hargreeves. At first you dismissed him as nothing more than another druggy, passed out in a literal shitty bin after coming down from a high. Yet, when you questioned the nearby girl, dressed in a ridiculously short dress, blood dripping from her sliced neck, needing to know if she'd seen the girl in the photograph you brandished, he reacted. He stopped whatever he was doing in the bin, peering over the edge and checking that yes you were talking to the dead girl, and clambered out of the bin. You tried to ignore him and the racket he created but he picked you up and swung you around squealing in joy.
“You see them too.”
Startled, you froze. It was then you noticed the ghost following him, oh great. You slapped his arm guestering for him to put you down.
“What the fuck man? Don’t go randomly touching strangers. I’m working for fucks sake,” you swung back around but the girl had gone, “Great and now my lead has gone. Thanks a bunch!”
He laughed, still giddy and clearly not at all repentant. “Klaus.”
“What” you said distractedly, not at all interested, mind already racing through other possible leads. A hand shot out and you took it out of reflex.
“My name, Klaus.”
“Y/N”
You turn around to head out of the alley, waving over your shoulder as he calls out.
“Wait. I’ve never met anyone who can see what I do.” You carry on walking, too far now to hear what his ghost had called out.
The second time you meet, you've managed to get yourself cornered by a thoroughly pissed of spirit. The fight hadn’t been going to badly, until you head a disgustingly cheerful voice shout
“Oi, weird girl its you.”
The spirit takes advantage of your distraction and he dives at you, slamming your head against the wall, hand encircling your neck. Screeching in your face, and let me tell you, ghostly spit, gross as shit. You rear back in what little space you have and slam your head into his, causing him to stumble. Ignoring the pain you start towards him but he fades with a parting -
“Bitch.”
You turn to Klaus head throbbing "You again. Really, what do you get a commission each time you fuck my case up?"
He holds his hands up, the ghost with him smirking. "Nope," popping the p, "But boy am I glad I ran into you. Also the ghost? How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Hurt it."
You quirk an eyebrow "can't you?"
"Nope, just hear them."
You shrug, "dunno always been able to, the more intune I became the easier it was."
His attitude did a 180 and he became quiet, subdued almost. "Can you. Can you make them stop?"
You gave a soft smile, pity blooming, you understood the need to drown everything out .
Feeling sorry you reply. "They don't ever really go but you learn to ignore them, a bit like background noise."
He sighs and the pity surges forth once more. You of all people knew how overwhelming the dead could be.
You reach down and shoulder your fallen bag, extending an olive branch.
"Let me get you a drink."
You look him over, he's still dressed in a long black, fur lined coat that grazed his ankles and trousers that looked painted on. He looks less high this time but the ghost still looks on with a concerned gaze. Your eyes flicker over to the hooded boy "and your friend."
"Brother" He corrects.
You wince, eyes closing briefly, but it does explain his constant hovering and Klaus' lack of concern. In my experience rarely did anything good from them hanging around too long.
The brother warily looks at you before tentatively reaching out a hand.
"Ben"
You smile back in what you hope is a comforting manner and give his hand a soft squeeze.
"Y/N"
His fingers tighten around yours as he looks at where your hands are connected mistified, while Klaus looks on longingly.
The walk to a nearby pub is quiet. The pub itself not so much. You both order and take a quiet booth in the back.
You sit in silence wondering how to broach the subject, him picking at the label on his bottle.
"How did you know you had powers?"
"How did you?" He asks back clearly reluctant but your willing to take a chance. You wished you'd had someone to guide you before you'd found Mildred. Still, you thought rolling your shoulder to relieve tension, better late than never.
So taking a deep breath you began. "It's always been there, figures in the corner of my eye. When I was seven I lost my aunt and police ruled it a home invasion gone wrong. But the next time I went there I saw her. Sat in her usual chair, head caved in. And I could see. I could see it. Shards of bone, brain matter leaking from the crevice." You pause taking a drink, trying to separate yourself from your memories.
"I scared the shit out of everyone when I screamed. She noticed I saw and began to shout, argue, swearing about uncle. I was terrified and begged to leave. They thought I was being a dramatic little shit, but I just couldn't stay there, it happened again and again every time they dragged me there. And each time my aunt got worse, more angry, more vengful and suddenly she wasn't the woman who baked cakes when I slept over or kissed my boo boos, she was this, this wraith."
"Well that sucks."
You snort. " No kidding, I always seem to find the worse ghosts. Wherever I go death follows."
He dropped his eyes and Ben liked on in concern, he was a quiet soul.
He began quietly. "When dad saw what I could do, when I came to him shaking and begging for help, he locked me in a crypt. No light, no nothing. Just voices screaming out." He paused here, taking a breath, giving a worthless chuckle.
"I musta been there hours, bodies screeching at me, all in different states of decay. When the door finally opened I was relieved but he just said, 3 more hours."
You jumped as he slammed his bottle down, cursing out, how could a man do that to his child. Reaching out a hand you caress his. He looked into your eyes and saw understanding.
"What a dick."
"You're not wrong. Then I discovered drugs and the high, the hallucinations drowned them out. So it was Hello drugs bye bye ghosts. And good riddance."
He looked at his brother smiling fondly. "Except Ben, no matter what he always forced himself through the drug filled haze."
"Mildred" you interrupted "I was 17 and my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend died and completely lost it. He wouldn't leave me alone, he seemed determined to destroy my life. It wasn’t what your thinking no big acts of violence or anything, it started as just a few words here and there, constant muttering just at the edge where I had to strain to hear him. And i was just so happy he was there you know? It grew from there, it wasn’t some great battle it was a fucking siege.Then one night terrified and beyond tired I sat in the bath sobbing I just couldn't take it anymore, the constant whispering, I just wanted it all too end. Then she appeared, sat on the toilet, a bullet hole through the brain watching me. She taught me everything."
Klaus and Ben stared on in rapt attention, drinking in every word.
"Apparently she'd met someone like me ages ago, he'd helped her and so she swore to help those like him. It was little things, guided meditations. She talked about the veil a sort of in between where they reside. I hadn't really understood that at first, but I learned that the hard way. And above all she said your will had to be stronger than theirs."
"Well" he drawled "that sounds anti-climatic."
You shrugged a shoulder, " It worked, so I ain't complaining."
He took another swig of his beer and Ben latched onto an earlier piece.
"What did you mean you leaned the hard way about the veil."
You breathed out through your nose, "What we can do, walking among the dead, touching souls it leaves a mark. When we spend time convening with the spirits we enter the same state, were neither dead nor alive and that, that's what leaves a mark. "
They both quired a brow and despite the situation you had to stifle a laugh you could see the family resemblance now, they had similar mannerisms.
"When I was 18, I was still learning with Mildred, she had set me a simple task to help a spirit. He seems kind enough, he kept up a stream of chatter had he been alive we might have been friends." You laugh darkly, reaching up to scrub at your now stinging eyes. "He was so kind, and understanding, til one night I was in a motel, we've travelled to find some family of his. We were relaxing on the bed, and just as I was drifting off he climbed on top of me and smothered my face with a pillow. He killed me. I wasn't the first and he was beyond pleased when he heard there was someone who could interact with the dead. It was all kind of a haze what happened next, the was light so pure and happy, then pain and heat. Then a tugging sensation and I was back in body. I woke up in a dingy motel room, and the world was cold and numb."
"Jesus" Klaus breathed out. "What a wanker."
You let out a wet laugh, meeting his eyes you give a sad smile that could only have been gained through experience.
"Our powers, our gifts are in some ways the most dangerous, we walk along the living and the dead, yet we are neither. Unlike others, we can be hurt by the residents of both worlds, we have to be doubly careful."
"So we can't die?" He said, taking her word as gospel. There seemed like too many downsides to developing his powers, but for his brother, who spent his death watching over him there was nothing he wouldn't do. Not to mention that whole bit about light and pain and numbness sounded startlingly familiar, but for now that was going in the nope box.
"It seems so, I don't plan on testing it and I don't recommended you do either." You said tipping your bottle at him narrowing your eyes.
He lifted hand, "scouts honour."
"Please" you said " you weren't ever a scout."
You spent the night chatting, keeping it light hearted. The boys would tell stories of a superhero past and shenanigans they got up to. You shared stories of cases that took funny turns and embarrassing ghost requests. It felt so good to have someone who understood and a ghost who wasn't demanding anything or trying to kill you. But all good things come to an end and the pub began to close.
He stood drawing his cost around him, inclining his head "thank you for this love." Ben smiled. As they turned to leave,you found yourself doing something she never imagined doing.
"I could help. With your powers I mean. It'll be a hella lot cheaper than drugs and you maybe able to connect with Ben here more."
The brothers share a quick glance and both flash you excited grins. Klaus steps forward, slings an arm around your shoulders tugging you between the two brothers.
"Y/N, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
End.
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handmaidensofnaboo · 6 years ago
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“Ultimately, it is very apparent this novel was noticeably, lovingly, and carefully crafted by a Prequel fan, a Padmé fan, a Handmaiden fan... Queen's Shadow is a fitting tribute.”
Queen's Shadow had a somewhat impossible task for me as a handmaiden “super fan,” a potentially “tough critic,” so I commend E.K. Johnston for willingly providing me with an early copy to share my thoughts on it with you all... I was nervous about how Queen's Shadow would turn out to be honest, but EKJ was up to the task...
I'll preface this review by saying Handmaidens were my first real community engagement in fandom. My older sister and I joined the Royal Handmaiden Society on TheForce.Net boards back around 2001 when I was about 14. The RHS was the reason I went to my first convention (Celebration II) and although the group isn't as present online as it once was (please follow @royalhandmaidensociety​), I made life long friends and it forever shaped and changed me. It was an overwhelmingly positive fandom experience at a very impressionable age and for that I'm forever thankful...  So for those of us who have such deep roots to this, who have, for the past 20 years, analyzed the handmaidens’ every micro expression, every costume, and have carved out our own understanding of them (from what little information that would could find), this book might be a bit "complicated " to process.

 At least it was for me.
With the announcement of Queen's Shadow, I was of course initially ecstatic, validated even, that they/we were being seen and heard, finally!! Yet mixed feelings slowly sunk in too. Despite us RHSers long lamenting the lack of content—handmaidens unjustly being overlooked in both Star Wars official media and for a long time in mainstream fandom—it also became this amazing small community space for each of us to freely imagine and play in. It’s been a kind of safe haven I've come to greatly appreciate. With a book featuring them... That could all potentially change. This fandom could change. I found myself wondering a few weeks ago, "Will I even like these girls? Will I love these new versions of Eiraté, Rabé, Sabé...” Something I've previously never had to consider. My fictional friends were about to be exposed on a larger than ever level, and reshaped, officially, forever. I was worried.


I knew I had to go into this book open minded, no way could EKJ take each one of our different headcanons and fantasies and appease us all in one ultimate text—but to my surprise, there were certainly select striking scenes, moments, I had while reading, where (for me) she did accomplish just that.  

After both the prologue and the first chapter in particular (which were centered around my favorite Handmaidens, from TPM), I had to put the book down for a while because I was so overwhelmed in the best kind of way. It truly was so close to capturing what I have wanted all these years that I just wanted to bask in it. Maybe that sounds silly but even simply one chapter filled with handmaidens, is an overwhelming amount of content for us to receive, let alone an ENTIRE book. This little fandom is just so used to excavating for scraps. I reread the beginning of the book again the next day, out of pure enjoyment, before I continued on.


The unbelievable news, the great news... Something I can't believe even is real... Is that Queen's Shadow starts with handmaidens and ends with handmaidens, and there are handmaidens in… NEARLY? Every. Single. Chapter. I really never thought I'd never see the day. I’m stunned. Yes, they are different then I imagine them, but I'm happy to see them, I still like them, just the same. And Padmé, who has also been sorely ignored, unappreciated, and underutilized within general Star Wars media/merchandise, is also finally getting the spotlight she deeply deserves.
Queen's Shadow is woven like an intricate tapestry threading together Padmé's stories throughout the entire prequel trilogy (especially the first two films), and highlights some of my favorite stylistic and thematic choices within them. Similar to the prequels (especially TPM) it reminded me of a period drama, with it's more formal dialogue, richly detailed costumes, ceremonies and politics, and admittedly a more contemplative pace than the swashbuckling fairy tales of the OT (but still engaging in it's own way). Also like the prequels, you get that occasional ominous foreboding, that sense of pieces being moved behind the curtains by shadowy figures, of unclear motivations by supposed "allies," of tragic destinies being spun—but still find yourself swept away by moments of hope and idealism, despite it all.  There is a particularly heartbreaking yet beautiful finale moment of this book with her that was so fitting to George Lucas' vision of Star Wars, it was, as he once said, "like poetry—it rhymes." Anytime something can capture that Lucas approach to storytelling, I am thankful to be reminded of why I loved Star Wars in the first place. (Especially in the Disney era years when I've felt a bit "post break up" about the franchise, to be honest.)
Queen's Shadow is foremost about Padmé's work, shifting and hardening herself into her new role as senator. It does justice to the themes and qualities that originally enchanted and inspired me about her: fulfilling her duty to her people, her compassion for vulnerable communities, and fighting for what's right—through language, through political and inner power, strategy, and unexpected partnerships. And as always, Padmé is luminous. 
There is one cause in particular she is advocating for that is notably poignant in its connections to TPM. I was incredibly pleased it was there, relieved even. It was so important and needed for her character. It enriches the choices she makes in the later films. And it is just one of a number of political themes in the book that are timeless and ever relevant, but wasn't inserted into the story in a heavy-handed way. I love that the main audience for this book (young girls), will get these meaty concepts presented to them through our beloved political heroine and the diversely talented women supporting her.  While we do see the various skills and character moments of Padmé and her handmaidens, I admit (and this is just my first read impressions) they all still did feel somewhat at a distance for me. I personally would've liked to have dug deeper into their personalities. I'm not sure how to properly articulate it, but I just felt a bit left "wanting more"—for more walls to come down, to have gotten further into their inner thoughts... But I think it's partly the challenge of the large number of characters, the book’s YA length, and a personal preference of writing style. Which, in EKJ’s defense, does compliment these particular characters, who have long had these kind of untouchable, unknowable presences, these masks over them (and she does address that). I think as I reread it, my feelings on may improve as I retain all the subtleties better. But if they remain elusive, that gives us room to fill it out with our own head canons, which is something many of us all ~clearly~ enjoy! It is part of their appeal, part of why we first loved them after all. 
It's also important to note the impressive attention to various Star Wars lore that is entwined throughout Queen's Shadow, from remnant gems of "Legends" handmaiden lore (and even RHS in jokes), to architectural details found in Battlefront II, to various appearances by Clone Wars characters... And many more I’m sure I’ve missed. Yet thankfully I can't recall any of it is done in a way that comes off as showy, elitist, or hard to follow (if for example, you're like me and admittedly haven't watched hardly any of the Clone Wars).  Additionally, here and there, there were some scenes or lines that didn't quite hit the mark for me personally, one minor set of changes from "Legends" handmaiden ages irked me a bit (we had so little to cling to ok! lol), frustration at already established lore (such as Panaka and Clovis, which EKJ can’t help), and other things that were simply just creative choices of the author (which of course happens for me with almost every Star Wars spin-off). 


Regarding the last point, that was the only other occurrence where I put the book willingly down, this time because I needed to get some space—to process something I decidedly didn't like. It was about midway through the book regarding a particular minor storyline. I don't want to spoil, but I will say it involved a new character that, for me, was taking up too much room in a book that already had plenty of amazing characters I wanted to spend more time with. I just felt he wasn’t exactly needed, or that others easily could've substituted his place and it would've been more meaningful to the lore.  These critiques are relatively minor however, and most of them are easy to move beyond, especially when I consider the bigger picture, and the majority of scenes, quotable lines, and pivotal interactions in Queen's Shadow that do seamlessly work. Those more than make up for the handful of things I struggled with.

 Ultimately, it is very apparent this novel was noticeably, lovingly, and carefully crafted by a Prequel fan, a Padmé fan, a Handmaiden fan. For this I'm deeply thankful, because it's easy to imagine if it wasn't—How poorly or sloppily Padmé could've been mischaracterized or the possible omission and/or confusion regarding the handmaidens… The latter of which BOTH the revered Dave Filoni and Timothy Zahn are woefully guilty of, (full offense). It hits me sometimes how so much damage could've been done were this in less capable, less attentive hands, with an author that would've cared less. EKJ clearly cared a lot. Minor issues aside, that's really what mattered most to me, at the root of it. So I'm very glad.


The more open minded you go in, the more you will enjoy Queen's Shadow, and (I say this for myself, as much as for anyone else who can relate) we can still make space for and enjoy our old head canons alongside to the new lore, or even mesh them together... I admittedly struggled a few times, but I definitely enjoyed reading it overall, particularly all the scenes on Naboo (and another planet that will go unnamed for now)... 

If you love Padmé, the handmaidens, Naboo culture, prequel politics—this book is a must read. The more time that passes, and as I reflect back, the more I feel that Queen's Shadow is a fitting tribute to Padmé and our handmaidens, let alone the prequel era itself. Queen's Shadow will be comfortably situated on my bookshelf beside our other established classics: Queen Amidala's Journal and Queen's Amulet, and I’m looking forward to revisiting it again when the audiobook comes out (holy heck we're finally gonna hear almost all the handmaiden names pronounced??! Have we been saying them "correct" all these years?? Stay tuned lmao...) I'll probably be posting my spoiler thoughts on Queen's Shadow after the book's release on March 5, 2019. Pre-orders are available online, though I really recommend purchasing it at your local independent book store if you can, and/or requesting your local libraries get a copy! Please share your own pictures/thoughts/reviews on here, twitter, instagram etc. and tag it. We gotta encourage Disney to give us more, because this book definitively ends with an invitation for a sequel or spin off of some sort, and I, a bit desperately, want it!!  The more we can support Queen's Shadow with the language Disney knows best ($$ and exposure) the better chance of future Padmé and handmaiden content, and they deserve it!! All of it—books, comics, Disney+ streaming miniseries, video games—Give them the legacy Rogue Squadron got. It's their time.


Again, thank you so much E.K. Johnston for creating this beautiful book, and going out of your way to provide me a copy. I'll always treasure that moment when I got that surprise package in the mail, a book nearly 20 years in the waiting. I was 12 years old again, that snowy day on my porch.


Can't wait to read everyone's thoughts. MTFBWY. ✨✨✨
Thank you for reading,
@handmaidensofnaboo​
♕ Pre Order Queen's Shadow 
♕ Purchase Queen’s Shadow at your local independent bookstore
♕ Follow author E.K. Johnston: website | twitter | instagram | tumblr
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Camp Camp Batfam AU; T
so far I have at least, like, 3 ideas for Camp Camp AU’s cause I fell face first into the fandom, so here’s some ideas for one; AU-ccT.
-The one where Tim gets caught sneaking out to photograph Batman and Robin by his mother when he’s ten (or almost ten)
-he gets sent to Camp Campbell, a camp in Sleepy Peak NJ for the sake of this universe
-he’s on the bus with Neil and Nikki in episode 1, for photography camp.
-he’s never seen anywhere without his camera. Ever. 
rundown of the bare bones of most of his relationships in Camp Campbell under the cut, because It got long and most of you won’t care so I wouldn’t want to bother too much:
-He and Neil got along well on the ride over to camp; Tim nerds out with him about science. Neil finds the kid a little annoying at first, but the kid mellows out pretty quickly as they talk. He’ll seek Tim out for some actual intelligent conversation sometimes at camp. Sometimes, when he goes to ‘Science Camp’, there are Cursive notes in the comments of notes he left out, either comedic or cringy puns or actual helpful advice and suggestions. Also they’re both jewish, so there’s some solidarity there. 
-Sometimes, when Nikki is out on adventures by herself, He’ll appear in a tree and join her. They go hunting for cool things; Nikki will screw with them, and Tim will watch and take pictures and intervine if he thinks he has to. He’s saved her life a fair amount of times. He’ll spout random fun-facts about nature and entertain whatever weird conversation she wants to have. He’s cool enough when no one else is around, though kind of weird. He can climb trees better then her.
-Max doesn’t think of Tim much at all. Tim came on the bus with Neil and Nikki, but didn’t do much to make a lasting impression. He stayed close to Neil until Max started staging escape attempts, then he faded into the background. Max thinks he’s like a quieter, maybe smarter Dolph; an annoying naive kid who doesn’t know how fucked the world is. Sometimes he’ll try to screw with the kid. He’s stolen the Boy’s camera twice; both times the boy had it again within the hour, never even confronting Max. The third time he left a note politely asking him to stop. Despite Max’s best efforts, there isn’t a forth time, but on the 7th attempt a picture of Mr.Honeynuts was left on his bed in clear blackmail. Somethings up with that kid. Maybe he’ll give enough of a shit to figure out what someday.
-Tim isn’t really a good artist, but he and Dolph get along well enough he guesses. Dolph finds his photos inspiring, so Tim can trade in favours for cool pictures of one thing or another. Sometimes he’ll sit and watch Dolph do art silently, and no one talks to either of them. It’s great. Dolph tried talking to Tim at first, but Tim wouldn’t say much in response and would often leave quicker when Dolph talked a lot, so he tries to keep it down.
-Ered doesn’t care about Tim all that much, really. She has a spark of respect because he’s surprisingly ok at skateboarding, and he’ll fix up the half-pipe sometimes. every once in a while, the repairs even last longer then a day. Cool.
-Tim is skeptical of Harrison, and a little worried by his temper; he could actually be a meta and not really get it yet, and with his temper he could do some damage. Tim is more then familiar with the ‘keep your enemies closer’ mentality, and has a tentative friendship with the boy. He thinks he’s nice enough, but he’s certainly powerful. No one is allowed to touch Max’s camera, but Harrison especially. He tries to help Harrison figure out how to use and control his powers and Harrison appreciates it. Tim has never been the victim of a spell from Harrison.
-Nerris and Tim get along like a house on fucking fire. Tim is quiet, and usually just goes along with whatever campeign Nerris is running, but has a great time anyway. He always wanted to play D&D. They nerd out over Magic and Pokemon and LoTR etc. The only real fight they have is Star Wars Vs. Star Trek, and they get the whole camp involved somehow. She’s a very loud personality that he can’t handle being around all the time, but he appriciates their time together and all
-Tim is just one of those kids that are pegged as easily bulliable. Naturally, Nurf bullies him. Or, at least, he tries to. The kid has an annoying habit of slipping through his fingers and appearing in trees whenever Nerf tries to do any real damage. Tim hates Nurf. He seems so textbook Gotham it almost hurts, but Tim is probably one of the only people that understands why Nurf is the way he is, but is firm that it’s no excuse for his behavior. He ignores most verbal bullying, unless he deems it worth a quiet comeback that no one but Nerf hears that leave him baffled because that kid was supposed to be meek and probably neglected or something, not a snarky asshole. one of the few exceptions is when Nerf insults Tim’s mom, which results in a sudden uproarious laughter that is the loudest sound anyone at the camp has ever heard him make. It goes on long enough to worry David and creep most of the campers out. When asked what happens, he criptically answers ‘Gaylord said the first funny thing I’ve ever heard out of his damn mouth’, stunning the camp with the first curse they’ve heard the boy use, a rare insult from the boy, and Nurf especially from the use of his full name. What The Hell is with that kid?
-Preston will swear, until the day he dies, that Tim is a wonderful actor. Nobody beleives him. Nobody ever will. Once, Preston coerced him into preforming on stage, but he immediately faked an anxiety attack and was excused. When they’re alone, Tim is a brilliant actor. The time he tried to film it, the camera broke and Tim was there with a drawl of ‘I’m in Camera Camp why did you think that would work out for you’. Preston kind of hates him for it. Tim helps out backstage all the time though, and is the only one besides Dolph who stays to help after David’s demanded minimum clean up time. He’s recorded almost all of Preston’s shows, and Dolph, Preston, and Tim become an unexpected and unseen force to be reckoned with. Maybe. 
-Space Kid is a child and naive in a way Tim isn’t used to and doesn’t like. He’s kinda stupid and exceedingly nice, and Tim almost wants to provoke him. That would be counterproductive though, so he just ignores the kid for the most part. 
-David appriciates Tim. Tim is probably the only camper that really listens to him, never causes much of a ruckous, and even seems to enjoy camp! He’s a great example, if shy. David would like to say he payed attention to all of his campers equally but, at this camp, while he cared for them all, it couldn’t be ignored that Tim just...Didn’t need as much attention. He was self sufficent and surprisingly responsible, and David had to stop other kids from burning down the camp. He gave Tim extra desserts most of the time and asked for his input on this or that to keep Tm engaged, but has definetly not noticed Tim sneaking out of camp with a worrying frequency.
-Gwen doesn’t trust the little Gotham shit. He’s gotta be up to something. He’s too perfect, and she just feels that there’s something off about the kid. Tim confirms to her through purposefully cracks in the mask when its Just Gwen around once because he likes Gwen, or at least likes screwing with her. Now, if only Gwen could find it in her to care enough to expose this little shit, between homicidal campers and runaways and a platypus and- and Tim can wait a bit, ok? She’s a little busy.
-Tim is the only one who knows how to properly care for a platypus. Whenever he goes to feed it and such he drags Nikki along and lets her do most of the stuff so it inprints on her, because he does not want the creature following him around.
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