#cause I've been thinking about it for while

[fozmeadows]

there is no ethical consumption under capitalism

Years ago now, I remember seeing the rape prevention advice so frequently given to young women - things like dressing sensibly, not going out late, never being alone, always watching your drink - reframed as meaning, essentially, "make sure he rapes the other girl." This struck a powerful chord with me, because it cuts right to the heart of the matter: that telling someone how to lower their own chances of victimhood doesn't stop perpetrators from existing. Instead, it treats the existence of perpetrators as a foregone conclusion, such that the only thing anyone can do is try, by their own actions, to be a less appealing or more difficult victim.

And the thing is, ever since the assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, I've kept on thinking about how, in this day and age, CEOs of big companies often have an equal or greater impact on the day to day lives of regular people than our elected officials, and yet we have almost no legal way to redress any grievances against them - even when their actions, as in the case of Thompson's stewardship of UHC, arguably see them perpetrating manslaughter at scale through tactics like claims denial. That this is a real, recurring thing that happens makes the American healthcare insurance industry a particularly pernicious example, but it's far from being the only one. Because the original premise of the free market - the idea that we effectively "vote" for or against businesses with our dollars, thereby causing them to sink or swim on their individual merits - is utterly broken, and has been for decades, assuming it was ever true at all. In this age of megacorporations and global supply chains, the vast majority of people are dependent on corporations for necessities such as gas, electricity, internet access, water, food, housing and medical care, which means the consumer base is, to all intents and purposes, a captive market. We might not have to buy a specific brand, but we have to buy a brand, and as businesses are constantly competing with one another to bring in profits, not just for the company and its workers, but for C-suites and shareholders - profits that increasingly come at the expense of workers and consumers alike - the greediest, most inhumane corporations set the financial yardstick against which all others are then, of necessity, measured. Which means that, while businesses are not obliged to be greedy and inhumane in order to exist, overwhelmingly, they become greedy and humane in order to compete, because capitalism encourages it, and because there are precious few legal restrictions to stop them from doing so. At the same time, a handful of megacorporations own so many market-dominating brands that, without both significant personal wealth and the time and resources to find viable alternatives, it's all but impossible to avoid them, while the ubiquity of the global supply chain means that, even if you can keep track of which company owns which brand, it's much, much harder to establish which suppliers provide the components that are used in the products bearing their labels. Consider, for instance, how many mainstream American brands are functionally run on sweatshop labour in other parts of the world: places where these big corporations have outsourced their workforce to skirt the already minimal labour and wage protections they'd be obliged to adhere to in the US, all to produce (say) electronics whose elevated sticker price passes a profit on to the company, but without resulting in higher wages for either the sweatshop workers overseas or the American employees selling the products in branded US stores.

When basically every major electronics corporation is engaged in similar business practices, there is no "vote" our money can bring that causes the industry itself to be better regulated - and as wealthy, powerful lobbyists from these industries continue to pay exorbitant sums of money to politicians to keep government regulation at a minimum, even our actual votes can do little to effect any sort of change. But even in those rare instances where new regulations are passed, for multinational corporations, laws passed in one country overwhelmingly don't prevent them from acting abusively overseas, exploiting more desperate populations and cash-poor governments to the same greedy, inhumane ends. And where the ultimate legal penalty for proven transgressions is, more often than not, a fine - which is to say, a fee; which is to say, an amount which, while astronomical by the standards of regular people, still frequently costs the company less than the profits earned through their unethical practices, and which is paid from corporate coffers rather than the bank accounts of the CEOs who made the decisions - big corporations are, in essence, free to act as badly as they can afford to; which is to say, very. Contrary to the promise of the free market, therefore, we as consumers cannot meaningfully "vote" with our dollars in a way that causes "good" businesses to rise to the top, because everything is too interconnected. Our choices under global capitalism are meaningless, because there is no other system we can financially support that stands in opposition to it, and while there are still small businesses and companies who try to operate ethically, both their comparative smallness and their interdependent reliance on the global supply chain means that, even if we feel better about our choices, we're not exerting any meaningful pressure on the system we're trying to change. Which means that, under the free market, trying to be an ethical consumer is functionally equivalent to a young woman dressing modestly, not going out alone and minding her drink at parties in order to avoid being raped. We're not preventing corporate predation or sending a message to corporate predators: we're just making sure they screw other worker, the other consumer, the other guy.

All of which is to say: while I'd prefer not to live in a world where shooting someone dead in the street is considered a valid means of redressing grievances, what the murder of Brian Thompson has shown is that, if you provide no meaningful recourse for justice against abusive, exploitative members of the 1%, then violence done to those people will have the feel of justice, because it fills the void left by the lack of consequences for their actions. It's the same reason why people had little sympathy for the jackass OceanGate CEO who killed himself in his imploding sub, or anyone whose yacht has been attacked by orcas - it's just intensified here, because where the OceanGate CEO was felled by hubris and the yachts were random casualties, whoever killed Thomspon did so deliberately, because of what he did. It was direct action against a man whose policies very arguably constituted manslaughter at scale; a crime which ought to be a crime, but which has, to date, been permitted under the law. And if the law wouldn't stop him, can anyone be surprised that someone might act outside the law in retaliation - or that regular people would cheer for them when they did?

[sheerfreesia007]

Spoiled Rotten

Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

Word count: 5,465

Content warnings: Fluff, suggestive, pregnancy symptoms

Summary: Seungmin starts to notice changes within you and he begins to worry. He can’t pinpoint the source of the changes or the reason why but when he overhears a conversation everything seems to click for him.

Eonni: older sister, Jagiya/Jagi: sweetheart

Part One: Spoil Me

The smell of cooking bacon wakes Seungmin one morning and he smiles sleepily as he rolls in the bed til he faced your empty side. Sliding his hand across the slightly still warm bed sheets he hums quietly before rolling out of the bed. Shuffling through the apartment towards the kitchen he grins happily as he hears your soft humming as your music played softly through your speakers. Just as he entered the kitchen he leaned up against the fridge watching you while you cooked he heard the soft sniffle coming from you. Frowning softly he furrowed his brows as he continued to watch you move about the kitchen making sunny side up eggs.

Moving towards you he watched as you sniffled once more and he tilted his head to the side trying to figure out if you were crying while cooking or if you were getting sick again. He watched as you turned your head to the side and spotted him out of the corner of your eye causing a wide loving smile to slip across your face before you turned to him.

”Good morning handsome.” You greeted him lovingly and Seungmin smiled bashfully at your greeting as a blush started to creep up his neck slowly. He moved to wrap his arms around you from behind as his front flushed with your back and his chin tucked around your shoulder. His eyes darted around the pan that you were using to cook bacon and eggs before he heard you sniffle one more.

”Good morning, gorgeous.” He greeted you fondly before pressing kisses to your neck and under your jaw making you flinch in his arms. “Are you getting sick again?” He asked curiously and you shook your head at his question.

”No, no. Don’t worry, I’m not getting sick. I’ve just been congested in the morning when I wake up for the past few days lately.” You said reassuringly to him as you patted his hands that sat on your stomach.

”You’re positive?” He asked worriedly and you nodded your head at him.

”By noon the congestion usually has gone away.” You tell him knowingly and Seungmin looks at you with a furrowed brow again and you let out a soft chuckle nodding your head at him. “I know it's weird but that's what happens. I've just been dealing with it.” You tell him with a slight shrug of your shoulders and he hums softly in response to your weird congestion condition.

“If it gets any worse I think you should go to the doctor.” He said still slightly concerned and you nodded your head at him in agreement. He watched as you turned off the stove before turning in his arms and cupped his face in your palms with a soft endearing smile on your face. You peck his lips sweetly and move to pull back but Seungmin keeps you flush to him as his mouth hungrily devours yours. When he's had his fill of you that's when he lets you pull back from him and he smirks as you pant for air.

“Are you worried about me husband?” You asked him sweetly after catching your breath and he rolled his eyes at you.

“Can't let you perish on my watch. Your Mom and my Mom would never let me live it down.” He griped out and you pouted prettily up him as you widen your eyes at him trying to cajole him into being sweet. He sighed loudly before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Yes I always worry about your well being.” He said softly to you causing a smile to bloom on your face that made his heart melt in his chest. “I love you. I want you around forever.” He tells you softly and you tilt your face up to his pouting your lips to ask for a kiss. Seungmin smirks down at you before he leans down towards. “Spoiled rotten.” He teases before kissing you lovingly as you hum at him.

*-*-*-*

Seungmin’s family home is in absolute chaos as his whole family has converged on the home for his sister's bridal shower. He could feel his irritation starting to rise within him as another one of his distant cousins asked him if he could get them a higher position at the family business since they were family and he was already in a manager position. Sighing softly, Seungmin excused himself from his cousin and began wandering through the home silently looking for you.

His sister had asked you to be her maid of honor since you had all known each other since you were kids and you were her best friend outside of her college friends. You had wholeheartedly and actively taken on the role with pride as you quickly began to make plans with his sister to help her in any way during the process of planning her wedding. You had even planned the bridal shower which had often pulled your attention away from him for the past month.  He had grown worried that you would overwork yourself by helping with all the bridal plans and parties on top of your normal work schedule but you had reassured him that you were relying on the other bridesmaids as well. When he had eaten breakfast with you one morning he had made you promise that you would allow others to help you instead of taking it all on your shoulders.

So now as he wandered through the home he checked all of the normal areas he thought he'd find you but came up empty handed. When he spotted his sister surrounded by her bridesmaids in the den she had beamed up at him with a knowing look on her face.

“Oh look! If it isn't my favorite person's husband. What's the matter, Seungminnie needs a break from all the family?” His sister asked teasingly just as you walked into the den from the other doorway. Seungmin watched as you practically lit up from within when you spotted him and instantly moved to his side as your smile widened.

“Leave him alone, Eonni.” You gently scolded her and Seungmin smirked at his sister over your head before sticking his tongue out at her which made her scowl softly at him. “You know how he gets. And you,” you said as you elbowed Seungmin in the stomach gently that made him make a soft grunting noise at the unexpected movement before you turned and cupped his face gently in your palms. “Don't start with her, it's her bridal shower today.” You gently chastised him before kissing him sweetly as the bridesmaids all cooed and awed at your gesture as his sister gagged. Seungmin wrapped his arms around you and deepened the kiss quickly causing the bridesmaids to cheer loudly as you chuckled against his mouth. “Down boy.” You tease him softly and he smirks at you softly before barking softly at you delighting in how your eyes widened at him surprised as your mouth gaped. “Alright c'mon you obviously need a break.” You told him knowingly and he grinned wickedly as he quickly led you out of the den and upstairs to his old childhood bedroom.

As soon as you cleared the doorway Seungmin shut the door and crowded you back against it, his mouth already capturing yours hungrily. Your surprised yelp was cute and he easily swallowed it as his mouth moved against yours in his rush to claim you as his.

“Seungmin, sweetheart. Slow down.” You gasped out to him between kisses and he grunted in return as his mouth traveled down your neck. “Handsome, what has gotten into you?” You asked him as your head fell back against the door.

“My sister and all her wedding stuff has been keeping you from for long enough.” He panted out as his hands gripped your hips tightly. “I want my wife back.” He said huskily as his mouth nipped  at your neck.

“I'm here handsome. I'll always be here.” You gasped out to him and he smirked down at you deliriously. He then ducked down again and began sucking and nipping at your neck once more.

Just as he was dragging your leg up and over his hip to open you up for him there came a knock at his door and the two of you instantly stilled.

“Seungmin, sweetie. We need you both downstairs we're going to do cake and presents now.” His mother said sweetly through the door and Seungmin frowned darkly at the interruption. “I'll give you two a moment to freshen up but I need you both downstairs soon.” She said kindly and you bit your lip trying not to laugh as Seungmin let his head fall forward onto your shoulder.

After you heard his mother's footsteps retreat you carded your hands through his hair and lifted his head to look up at you. He was watching you tiredly and you smiled softly at him before kissing his nose sweetly. He scrunched his nose at you and you laughed softly at his antics.

“After cake and presents, let's head home. I've got a marinating chicken waiting for us and we're both off tomorrow so we can sleep in and do whatever we want tomorrow.” You cajole him and he brightens instantly at the thought of having you all to himself tomorrow.

“No distractions or interruptions?” He asked hopefully and you smiled warmly up at him while shaking your head. “Then what are we waiting for? Let's get cake and presents done so we can leave.” He said before quickly opening the bedroom door and dragging you out after him causing you to laugh happily.

When the two of you entered the large living room where everyone had gathered Seungmin watched as you moved to stand near his sister who was seated in front of everyone with her presents situated around her. Seungmin stood back towards the side and just watched as you helped the other bridesmaids get everything set up and he couldn't help but admire how beautiful you looked as you moved with authority. Your smile was bright and happy on your face while your eyes sparkled happily at the bridesmaids and his sister. The thought that you were a perfect fit to him filtered through his brain for the umpteenth time since he met you all those years ago and he felt his body and soul settle contently at that knowledge. You truly were perfect for him.

“I want to thank you all for coming to celebrate with us as my daughter takes the next step in her life and commits herself to be the happy bride of Hyeon.” His mother thanks everyone with a happy smile before she turns to face his sister who's grinning happily at her. “Ever since you were a little girl I always imagined what your wedding would look like and it was always with you happy and ecstatic to take this next step. I am so proud of you jagiya and I can't think of a better person for you to marry.” 

Seungmin suddenly heard a soft sniffle and his eyes immediately darted over to you worried that your congestion was back even if it was later in the day. But when he saw you dabbing at your eyes with a tissue as you listened to his mother's speech he stood there shocked. Normally you were able to keep your emotions in check especially when you were around others but right now it seemed as if the emotions his mother's speech invoked were just too much for you. He watched as you quietly excused yourself to the kitchen without anyone being aware and he silently slipped out the room to follow you.

“What is going on?” He heard you whisper as he walked into the kitchen.

“Sweetheart?” He asked worriedly and watched as you whirled to him as more tears fell down your face. He watched as a look of confusion fluttered over your face and he quickly hugged you to him.

“I don't know why I'm crying so much. I just can't get the tears to stop. I'm not sad but your mothers speech was so beautiful and sweet. I just can't stop crying.” You explained bewildered and Seungmin chuckled in response as he tilted your head up to gently wipe the tears away.

“Maybe you're just a little emotional because it reminds you of our bridal shower and wedding. Your mom's speech made you bawl like a baby back then.” He suggested and gently reminded you. Suddenly You sobbed and let your head fall forward into his chest and Seungmin chuckled softly at your antics. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry more.” He apologized quickly as he rubbed your back trying to soothe you.

“I just can't get them to stop.” You said bewildered and Seungmin pressed a kiss to your temple. “Can we stay here until they stop? Please, I don't want to ruin your sister's party.” You asked worriedly and Seungmin nodded as he tugged you closer and just held you tightly in his arms while rubbing your back.

“Whatever you need. I'll do whatever you need.” He said softly into your hair before pressing another kiss to your temple.

*-*-*-*

The soft clinking of silverware rang through the air like tinkling bells and Seungmin smiled softly to himself remembering all the dinner dates that you would have with him when you were betrothed to each other. But now as a married couple the two of you preferred to have homemade meals together for your date nights. Usually the two of you would go to a movie or a local event that either one of you were interested in before heading home to have dinner together and then watch a movie on the couch. 

But tonight was different, you had just passed a milestone at work and had been recognized by your supervisors for your dedication on a project and were presented with an award earlier today at work. Seungmin had proudly shown up to your department’s meeting where your supervisors presented the award to you and had told you that he’d be taking you out to dinner tonight to celebrate. You had hesitated when he told you his plans to celebrate your award but he had managed to convince you to go out tonight. He had noticed lately that you had wanted to stay in more and more and not venture out of your apartment unless you absolutely had to. But tonight he had wanted to celebrate with you with a nice dinner.

Just as dinner arrived at your table he watched as you frowned down at your plate with a look of concern on your face. He furrowed his eyebrows as he noticed you hesitate before picking up your knife and fork before your eyes darted over to his plate. The two of you had ordered different dishes from each other, you had ordered a chicken and pasta dish while he had ordered a steak and vegetable dish. He waited for you to speak up but all you did was sigh softly before you began to cut into your chicken.

”What’s wrong Jagi?” He asked worriedly as he leaned over the table to try and get closer to you.

”I thought I wanted chicken and pasta tonight.” You began to explain to him and he nodded his head. “But just looking at the food makes my stomach turn.” You lamented softly as you frowned down at your plate. “I just don’t think I’m hungry.” You tried to dismiss your twisting stomach, but just as you finished speaking your stomach let out a loud growl and Seungmin had to bite his lip to curb his laughter. He watched you with wide eyes and you huffed softly endearing yourself further to him. He didn’t know what was going on with you lately but he would do everything in his power to make you comfortable and happy.

He smiled softly while shaking his head slightly at your saddened look that was directed down at your dish before he reached across the table and grabbed your plate before swapping it with his own plate. You snapped your head up to look at him surprised and he smirked softly at you from his seat.

”Such a little spoiled baby.��� He said softly in a teasing tone and you pouted at him as your eyes began to tear up. Seungmin sat there shocked for a moment before he quickly rushed to your side and knelt beside you. “I was teasing, please. I was only teasing. Don’t cry.” He pleaded with you softly as his hands hovered over you unsure of what to do to make you feel better.

”You swapped dishes with me.” You wailed softly and Seungmin stared at you bewildered.

”Of course I did Jagi. You said the chicken was making your stomach turn. And you need to eat something, I’m sure you haven’t eaten since lunch.” He explained, still confused on why this would make you so emotional that you started crying at dinner.

”You love me.” You said softly and Seungmin nearly burst out in laughter at your words as tears began to slip down your face. He gently cupped your face and turned it to face his before he grinned softly at you.

”Forever and always you crazy woman.” He teased softly before he pulled you close as his lips slotted against yours. “I will love you until I can’t anymore.” He promised and you gripped his back tightly as you buried your face in his neck and cried softly. Seungmin knelt there consoling you as you cried softly into his neck while his mind raced with how out of character you have been acting for the past month. He tried to think of what could be the cause of all these odd changes within you but came up empty without any idea of what was going on with you. All he knew was that he would do anything and everything for you and be at your side each step of the way. No matter what. “Now eat before it goes cold. Then we can go get ice cream afterwards, how does that sound?” He asked softly and you lifted your head to look up at him with a bright happy smile on your face.

”Wonderful.” You sighed out to him causing him to laugh softly at you.

*-*-*-*

It’s been a busy week for the two of you at work, you were on the fast track for a promotion and he was busy with spearheading two new projects that had been keeping him busy. It was a wonder that the two of you were able to carve out any time to spend together but the two of you managed to do it. After eating dinner Seungmin had helped you clean up before shooing you into the living room to pick a show to watch together while he finished putting the leftovers away.

When he walked into the living room he found you all cozied up underneath the fluffy blanket he had gotten you for your birthday and already blinking slowly as you lazily flipped through your choices. He smiled softly already knowing that you probably wouldn’t be making it past the opening credits of the show but knew you would try valiantly. 

It was just another thing that he had noticed that changed about you, he could chalk your ever present sleepiness lately to how hard you’ve been working at the company but he quietly comes to think that it’s a little more frequent than usual. He’s still worried about you after everything that he’s noticed has changed about you but every time he brings it up you always reassure him that you feel fine and that it just might be his sisters fast approaching wedding that has you feeling a little bit more emotional or it could just be you might be wearing yourself out again working on different things for everyone. Seungmin has told you that he doesn’t want you to overwork yourself and you’ve promised that you won’t but obviously something is making you exceptionally tired lately.

Plopping down on the couch next to you he eagerly opens his arms for you and you beam at him happily as you cuddle into his side. Shifting around you get comfortable and rest your head on Seungmin’s shoulders before he wraps his arm securely around your back making you sigh contently. Seungmin can’t stop the smile slipping onto his face as he feels you sag against him and he knows without a doubt that you’re about to fall asleep on him.

”Wanna watch that drama that you were telling me about yesterday?” You slurred out tiredly as a huge yawn overtook your face and Seungmin chuckled softly knowing it was a losing battle for you.

”Whatever you want Jagi.” He cooed softly at you and you smiled up at him before snuggling closer into him. When you pressed the button to play the show and then set the remote down on the coffee table before reclaiming your spot carved into his side he silently gave you five minutes top. 

But you didn’t even make it to five minutes or the end of the opening credits because just as the show started playing the opening song Seungmin heard your soft snores from his shoulder. Fighting the ever growing smile on his face Seungmin slowly reached for his cellphone and captured a picture of you sleeping on him. While gazing at the picture he grinned to himself before sending it to his sister in your group chat with the words, look at sleeping beauty here didn’t even make it past the opening scene of our tv show!

He then slowly laid you fully on the couch before turning and grabbing the remote to shut the television off. When he turned back to you there was a slight frown on your face and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched your hand slide along the couch as if you were searching for something in your sleep.

”Spoiled rotten.” He teased gently before scooping you up into his arms and cradling you close as he turned to walk towards your bedroom. You cuddled into his chest sighing loudly as your nose pressed to his neck and he smiled softly when he felt your lips quickly kiss the skin there. “Absolutely spoiled rotten.”

*-*-*-*

Seungmin smiles proudly as he shakes hands with one of the company’s new business associates that they just gained after this lunch meeting. He couldn’t wait to tell you all about his success in this meeting knowing that you’d sign his praises to the rooftops for everyone to hear. But just as he goes to excuse himself to call you he hears part of the conversation still going on at the table.

”Yeah, my wife had this weird nasal congestion when she was pregnant with our second kid. Wasn’t there with our first but it was like she would catching a cold for the beginning hours of the day and would be fine by the afternoon.” Said one of the older associates from his company. Seungmin sat there for a moment silently tilting his head to the side as he listened in on the conversation.

”Oh yeah! My wife didn’t have that but her mood swings were horrible. She just couldn’t get a handle on her emotions throughout the whole pregnancy. Constant crying over the littlest things or over absolutely nothing at all.” Chimed in another associate. Seungmin felt his mind begin to race with this knowledge as it seemed to line up with changes that he had noticed in you.

“Mine had the oddest cravings! And she’d be into certain foods one day and then they would make her nauseous the next day. It was so weird what our kid did to her.” Said another agreeing with the other men. Seungmin felt his heart stutter in his chest, these were all things that had been happening with you, were you pregnant and just didn’t know it? 

Suddenly Seungmin stood from his chair causing the men at the table to all look at him worriedly. He bowed his head quickly before giving them a sheepish smile.

”I’m sorry gentlemen I have to go. What you’re all explaining about your wives is what’s been happening with my wife lately and we just couldn’t figure out what’s been going on. Didn’t even cross our minds that she could be pregnant.” Seungmin admitted to them and they all smirked knowingly at him.

”Well go drag her home and grab as many tests you can find at the store.” One of the associates instructs him and Seungmin nods his head quickly before rushing from the restaurant hearing their soft laughter follow him. He knew he’d have to thank them somehow if it wound up that you were pregnant. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed your number as he rushed towards his car. 

”Hey handsome.” You greet him sweetly and he grins widely at your voice.

”I need you to meet me at home. It’s an emergency. Can you get out of work early?” He explained hurriedly into the phone as he quickly made it to his car before unlocking it and slipping into the driver’s seat.

”Is everything okay?” You asked worriedly and Seungmin suddenly regrets how he started this conversation in his haste.

”Yes, I’m sorry. Everything is fine, there’s nothing wrong I just need you to meet me at home as soon as you possibly can.” He said on a happy sigh. “Everything is perfect. I just need you to get home quickly.” He gushed out excitedly.

”Oh okay. Yeah I can do that. Are you sure you’re alright? You sound…odd.” You said unsure into the phone and Seungmin chuckled delightedly.

”Yes, I promise. Everything is perfectly fine. I love you, I’ll race you home.” He teased ecstatic before pulling quickly out of the parking lot before heading towards your apartment. He quickly made a pit stop at the pharmacy not far from your apartment and when he walked down the aisle with the condoms and pregnancy tests his eyes widened at how many different pregnancy tests there were. Choosing to grab one of each, Seungmin walked hurriedly to the front register and ignored the odd look that crossed the clerk’s face as he began to ring up each of the pregnancy tests. It takes longer than Seungmin would like but as soon as it’s done and he’s paying the clerk for the tests he’s rushing out the door with his bag.

When he gets home he can see that he had in fact beat you home, so he begins to set the apartment up as cozily as he can make it for you. He places an order for take out to be delivered for the two of you before he puts out your favorite blanket on the couch and gets your favorite outfit ready for you to change into. As he’s setting the clothes out on your side of the bed he hears you enter the apartment.

”Seungmin?!” You call out sounding worried and he’s instantly rushing towards you to meet you. When he spots you his heart fills with love and his body fills with excitement of the possibility that you might be pregnant. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you deeply causing you to squeak with surprise before melting into him.

”I need you to come to the bathroom with me. I learned something today about all the different changes that you’ve been going through.” He said softly as he guided you to the bathroom. You placed a hand on his chest as your other hand went to your head as confusion filled your face.

”Seungmin wait, this is all too fast. What are you talking about?” You ask him and he smiles down at you as you both enter the bathroom. Your eyes dart over to the line of pregnancy tests laid on the counter and your eyes widen when you recognize what they are. “You think I’m pregnant? But shouldn’t I know if I’m pregnant?” You ask confused and Seungmin smiles adoringly down at you. You’re adorable when you’re confused and Seungmin wonders silently if your child will look more like you or more like him, he hopes silently that they take after you in looks.

”I mean have you been pregnant before? How would you know what it feels like if you’ve never experienced it?” He questions and you look at him with a raised brow as he shrugs his shoulders. “Plus I found out today that every pregnancy is different and none of them have all the same symptoms.” He tells you sweetly. “Take the tests, please.” He begs you softly and you smile warmly at him before you pull out your phone and check your period tracking app.

”Oh my gosh.” You whisper softly and Seungmin looks down at your phone and sees that it states that you’ve missed your period for nearly two months now! “I can’t believe I didn’t realize that I haven’t had my period in so long.” You say shocked and Seungmin bounces on his toes excitedly causing you to chuckle at him. “Alright, alright. Can you go grab me some water?” You ask him softly before pushing him out of the bathroom. “I’ll take the first few tests before needing some water.” You tell him before shutting the door in his face. 

Seungmin rushes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before rushing back to the bathroom door. He shifts from foot to foot waiting anxiously for you to open the door again, when you do he’s pushing his way in and handing you the bottle of water. He sees that you’ve already used four tests and they sit neatly on the counter in a line.

”How long do we have to wait?” He asks eagerly and you smile at him.

”Three to five minutes depending on the test.” You instruct him and he nods his head before setting a timer on his phone. He then turns to you and wraps his arms around you to pull you in close. 

“I’m nervous.” He whispers and you beam up at him before cupping his cheek.

”My handsome husband is nervous?” You tease gently and he huffs at you softly making your smile widen. “You definitely have been nervous since you started noticing all my symptoms. Who knew you paid such close attention to me?” You teased him and he tightened his arms around your waist.

”Well now I have an even bigger reason to pay close attention to you.” He husked out softly to you as he leant over you. “It’s crazy that the thought that you’re pregnant is driving me wild.” He confesses quietly and you chuckle softly at him.

”If they come out negative and this is all a fluke we can try for real to get pregnant.” You tease and he smirks wickedly at you.

”I love that brain of yours wife.” He husks out before pressing his lips to yours hungrily. Just as he’s backing you up against the bathroom door the timer on his phone goes off and he groans loudly at the interruption. 

“Get used to it, handsome. If our kid learns about the power of interrupting you they’ll wield it like a weapon.” You say teasingly as you pat his chest softly. Seungmin grins at your words and feels warmth and hope fill him at the words of our kid.

The two of you move together towards the counter to gaze down at the pregnancy tests and Seungmin’s heart swells with joy as he spots all four tests show positive of pregnancy. “So much for it being a fluke and needing to try again.” You say sarcastically and Seungmin smirks at you before he wraps you up into his arms and lifts you up.

”Who said we couldn’t still go through the motions?” He asked cheekily and watched as your face flushed prettily. “This is cause for celebration anyway. And I know the perfect way to celebrate our new little bundle of joy.” He husks out to you as he walks towards your bedroom with you in his arms. “Plus dinner’s on it’s way and I’ve got at least twenty minutes until it gets here.”

”You spoil me.” You laugh out happily and he smirks down at you.

”You’re spoiled rotten.” He teases as you laugh loudly and happily throughout your home.

SKZ Taglist: @intartaruginha, @kayleefriedchicken, @babigriin, @simpforleeknaur, @inlovewithstraykids

[guilty-pleasures21]

Great cause I've been thinking about something for days-

Jason x Reader but-

Sometimes Jason can't get home in time. It's not that he wants to take so long, but all this mess of missions and patrols and all that crap always seems to get in his way.

Still, since he loves his girl so much, Jason doesn't mind calling her just to tell her he's coming as fast as he can and ask if she's all right.

He's just in love, guys, what can he do?

By the way, he also loves to say what he's going to do with his pretty girl when he gets home as well.

- 💚

Firstly, I would like to apologise for how long this has taken: I was not ignoring you, I was just finding it really difficult to come up with enough of a storyline to write a fic out of 😅.

Secondly, I know this deviates from what you asked for, but I do hope that you still like it 🥺. I just thought it would be really funny to write Jason being all shy and flustered for a change ☺️.

NEVERTHELESS! If I have disappointed you, please don’t hesitate to drop me another message and I will do my best at another attempt! I love you, babe 🥺.

The call

Warnings: an explicit phone call and an explicit description of a handjob (m receiving).

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     “Hood?” X asked, her sweet voice wafting out of his communication device and filling his ears. “Are you gonna be done soon?” 

     “Hmm?” Jason hummed distractedly, keeping an eye on Penguin’s goons as they moved in and out of one of his secret warehouses. “Yeah, ba-”

     His eyes grew wide as he caught himself quickly: no one else in the batfamily knew that he and his best friend had started dating a while ago and the two of them had wanted to put off dealing with the chaos that would ensue once they found out for as long as they possibly could. Jason slid his gaze over to Dick, nervously gauging his reaction, then he cleared his throat when his brother seemed to take no notice. “Yeah, Nightingale. Their new shipment should be reaching here in eleven minutes. We plan on moving in then.” 

     “Okay, sweetheart,” X replied, her voice taking on a mischievous tone that had Jason’s core heating up with nerves. “I can’t wait for you to get home, baby. I’m gonna have you all to myself for the next week, right, Jay?” 

     Jason swallowed hard and stole another quick glance at Dick. No reaction. Jason exhaled in relief and let out another little cough before responding to his wicked girlfriend. “Right. This should deal a substantial blow to their operations. The others can help stage attacks on their other warehouses in the meantime.” 

     “Oh, is that so?” X asked, rolling over onto her stomach and getting herself comfortable on Jason’s bed. She’d always stay over at his apartment whenever he had to stay late on a mission - she didn’t like the thought of him coming home to an empty house, especially if he’d had to be physically violent with someone. She’d known about his PTSD and used to stay over at his place even before they’d started dating, comforting him when he awoke from a nightmare or coaxing him out a panic attack in the middle of the night. He’d only ever let her be privy to such vulnerable sides of him and she’d told him honestly that that was why she’d started falling in love with him. “You gonna pass the buck on to the others so you can come home and take care of your lonely little girlfriend?” 

     Jason’s breath caught in his throat at the pout he could hear in her voice. Was she at his place? She probably was, but … was she on his sofa? Relaxing in front of the television as she teased him? Or … was she … somewhere more … intimate? In something more intimate? Jason ground his teeth together, wrestling between the need to keep himself focused on the mission before him and the sudden desire to find out exactly what his ‘lonely little girlfriend’ was doing in his apartment right then. “Of course I’m wearing all my gear, Nightingale. Got to make sure we’re properly covered up before we bust in there and start taking everyone out.” 

     X bit her lip at the subtle question hidden within his words: he wanted to know what she was wearing. 

     “‘Properly covered up’?” she repeated, kicking her legs in the air behind her. “Mmm, that sounds … like the opposite of what I am right now, Jay; lying here on your bed, all spread out on your soft sheets as they caress my bare skin.” Her boyfriend sucked in a breath over the comms and X’s stomach flipped as she pictured the expression he was probably wearing right then: thick brows furrowed in confusion as he figured out how to respond, beautiful green eyes glazed over as he imagined her lying naked on his bed, sharp jawline tensing with frustration as he forced himself to pay attention to his mission. Shit, he was hot. 

     X flipped over onto her back and moaned softly as the thought of her deliciously sexy boyfriend filled her mind. “Mmm, but you know how much I love seeing you all dressed up in your Red Hood outfit. Your tight little carbon fibre suit stretched so perfectly over all your delicious muscles. Mmm, you’re so hot, Jay! I wish you were here so I could just pounce on you and trace all your sexy muscles with my tongue …” 

     A soft gasp escaped his lips at her dirty words and Jason swore his heart stopped when Dick turned to raise an eyebrow at him in question. Jason shook his head slightly, reassuring him that everything was fine and thankfully, Dick returned his attention to the warehouse. “Nine minutes.” 

     “Oooh, is that a challenge, sweetheart?” X asked, delighting in the sudden hoarseness in his voice. He was always so smooth and sexy whenever they were alone, teasing and touching and tasting every inch of her body until she was breathless with lust, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of his hands on her bare skin. But now … “There’s a reason they call it ‘seven minutes in heaven’, darling. But … I’m feeling generous tonight knowing I’m going to have you all to myself for the next week, so … I’ll finish in five … if you let me top you tonight.” 

     He let out a choked gasp at the image her words conjured up in his mind: him lying helplessly on his bed while she rode him into his mattress, her soft hair brushing the curves of her full breasts, her pearly teeth sinking into her lower lip in ecstasy, her perfect body sliding up and down on his cock at exactly the pace she wanted to go at. And unfortunately for him, Dick did take notice this time. 

     “Hood? What’s wrong?” His voice was firm as he spoke, authoritative and confident, and Jason quickly waved him away so he wouldn’t start panicking. 

     “Just a hiccup,” he lied. “I’m fine. Truck should be arriving in eight minutes.” 

     “Is Dick there?” X asked, her tone alight with mischief at the revelation that the two of them were right next to each other while she was talking dirty to him. “Has he been there the whole time?!” 

     “Yes,” Jason replied softly, lowering his voice so Dick wouldn’t grow even more suspicious by his continued conversation with a member of their team not currently involved in the mission at hand. Shit. He should just hang up, shouldn’t he? End the call now before he reached a point where he couldn’t physically hide the evidence of what his best friend was doing to him right then. Shit. Think gross thoughts, Jason, he counselled himself, like … bugs! Cockroaches, especially! Ugh! Nasty little things with their hairy legs and their spindly antennae and ugh, he was going to be sick. But at least he wasn’t getting aroused anymore - though the brief respite didn’t seem like it would last long anyway. 

     “How naughty of you, sweetheart!” X laughed, oblivious to - or most likely ignoring - her supposed-to-be-secret boyfriend’s stressful predicament right then. “Letting your girlfriend talk dirty to you with your brother standing right next to you? Mmm, I didn’t know you could be so naughty, baby.” 

     Jason clenched his fists and focused his thoughts on his breathing, trying to keep it deep and steady so his body wouldn’t get excited and start redirecting his blood towards his core. But he must have been a glutton for punishment because he just couldn’t bring himself to end the call. 

     “And- Oh my god!” X exclaimed, a realisation suddenly taking over her thoughts. “He doesn’t even know! Your brother doesn’t even know that you started dating your best friend, baby! What’s he going to think, love?! What’s he going to think when he hears your best friend saying such naughty things to you? When he hears the innocent little Nightingale saying such dirty things to her best guy friend?

     “Do you think he’s going to think I’m just practising, baby?” X asked, getting more and more thrilled by the idea of Dick finding them out via such a compromising situation. She sat up on Jason’s bed, suddenly feeling extremely hot under her pyjamas, and tugged her shirt off, tossing it aside. “Do you think he’s going to think that I’m just practising having sex with you?! Letting you touch me and tease me and taste me just so I can get to know what it feels like?” 

     She let out a low chuckle at the thought and Jason shivered as the tantalising sound travelled teasingly down his spine. And, f*ck him, now he couldn’t get the thought of her naked body out of his mind! She was just so delicious, her plush breasts, her smooth skin, her slender neck, her pert ass, her- F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f******ck! Cockroaches! Focus on the cockroaches! 

     “But how could anyone else ever do it for me after you, baby?” X pressed, slipping her bottoms off and crawling under the covers. “You’re so hot, Jay! With your long fingers and your rough skin and your hard muscles and argh! Oh God, Jay, your … How are you so good with your tongue?!” 

     Argh, f*ck. He could feel his pants tightening around his crotch at the sound of her shallow breaths - at the indication of her touching herself while she thought about him. But shit! Did she really find him so hot that just the thought of him was enough to get her off?! F*******ck! 

     “Hood?!” Jason startled as Dick bumped his shoulder suddenly, snatching him out of his reverie. “Hood, they’re at the intersection of Apple and Kyle.” 

     “Three minutes,” Jason recited, the words coming automatically as he glanced at the countdown in the corner of his screen. His eyes flickered over to the icon of his best friend’s face, her cute little smile pointed straight at him from the upper right corner of his screen, and he swallowed hard when it lit up as she began speaking again.

     “I’m … I’m coming, Jay!” she promised, her voice getting breathy and high-pitched as she approached her edge. “I’m gonna come for you, okay, baby? I’m … Just imagining … your long fingers inside of my p*ssy … your lips sucking my neck … your chest … Nngh! Bite me, Jay! Bite … Hngrh, shit! J-Jason! Jason! I love you, Jason! I … Oh God, you’re so hot! So … So deliciously hot, Jay … How the hell are you so frickin’ hot, Jason?! Mmm, shit.” 

     Jason panted heavily, feeling as if he’d just come down from his high as well, and studiously avoided Dick’s gaze. Thank f*cking god he had his full helmet on - he could feel the blush racing up the back of his neck and bolting across his cheeks, blatantly giving away all the naughty things his best friend had been murmuring in his ear as she’d come to the thought of him. F*******ck! He was … He was never picking up another call from her again when he was on a mission - she’d just have to ring up the watchtower if she needed any help next time. Jason reached for his watch, meaning to end the call as his countdown continued ticking down to the one minute mark now, but his girlfriend didn’t seem to be done with him just yet. 

     “Come back soon, okay, baby?” she pleaded, her tone relaxed now that she’d gotten some of the excitement out of her system. “It’s just not the same without you, Jay. I … I can’t make myself come the way you do!”

     Jason lowered his head and sighed, feeling himself about to f*cking cry with frustration at her desperate words. Could you even cry out of of f*cking desperation?! Shit, maybe she’d broken him or something. He was going to have to get back at her for it later. 

     “You just know me so well, baby,” X purred, that same wicked mischief inching its way back into her voice again. “Nobody knows me better than my best friend - nobody knows how to make me come better than my best friend does, Jay. After all, you’ve been getting so much practice, right, baby?” 

     “Shit,” Jason hissed, his defeated exhalation finally letting her know that he’d reached his limit with her. X giggled softly, but decided to ease up on him: he still had an important mission to go on, after all, and she wanted him safe and back in his bed as quickly as possible. 

     “I’ll see you later, baby. Love you, Jay!” 

     “Ngh,” Jason grunted, relieved to have control over his own thoughts again. “We’ll talk later.” He hung up the call, then glanced over at Dick, letting him know that he was ready to go. Dick nodded and pulled his escrima sticks out of their sheaths as he got into position. 

     “On my count. Ready? One, two, three!” 

     Jason tugged the collar of his shirt, already sick of the tight suit he’d been forced into for the gala Bruce was throwing that night. It was meant to be a fundraiser for some charity, but of course the rich socialites of Gotham just saw it as an opportunity to parade around their undeserving wealth. And try to land one of the billionaire Bruce Wayne’s eligible young sons if they had the chance. Jason sighed when Clara Yang’s keen gaze landed on him, picking him out as soon as she entered the hall; not that it was difficult to pick Jason out in any room given his towering height and intimidating physical build - an intimidating physical build that did not seem to deter the young heiress in the slightest. Shit. Where was his girlfriend when he needed her?!

     “Richard! Jason! How lovely to see the both of you again!” Clara greeted them cheerfully, stepping forward to place a light kiss on each of their cheeks. She tried to linger in Jason’s arms just a moment longer, but he stepped back as quickly - and obviously - as he could, firmly setting his boundaries. 

     “Nice to see you too, Clara,” Dick replied, always fitting so perfectly into the mould of Bruce Wayne’s perfect oldest son. “Have you tried the appetisers yet? We hired a Michelin star Italian chef to cater the event. He normally doesn’t do engagements outside of his restaurant but, well, who can say no to Bruce Wayne?” 

     Jason’s gut twisted with horror as Dick joined into Clara’s polite laughter. God, he thought he was going to be sick. He’d just never been able to get over the false pleasantries required of him at these events - no matter how nicely they dressed him up and smothered his personality. Clara looked to Jason expectantly, her eyes travelling appreciatively over his shoulders and chest, and Jason felt another wave of nausea pressing against his throat. 

     “I … It’s …” Dick glanced around the room as Jason fumbled his way through a response, searching desperately for some way to get his brother out of his current predicament. And thankfully, it was at that exact moment that X arrived. Dick gave a mental sigh of relief and quickly waved her over. 

     “X!” X looked up when she heard her name being called, then grinned when she saw Dick waving at her frantically. Her eyes flickered over to Jason and the young lady standing in front from him, her chestnut hair curled neatly and piled atp[ her head in an elaborate hairdo, and she chuckled when she saw the panicked expression scrawled across her best friend’s features - it looked like Clara had already begun her attack. 

     Jason turned to follow Dick’s gaze when he heard him yell for his best friend and his entire body relaxed when he found X’s dark eyes and easy smile already trained on him. He side-stepped Clara, intending on making a beeline straight for his life vest in the middle of this never-ending ocean of suffering, but he stopped short when he saw what she was wearing. 

     Her dress was off-the-shoulder, the burgundy-coloured velvet material delicately skimming the tops of her breasts before closing in around her luscious figure, hugging her beautiful curves so deliciously. A slit in one side of the dress exposed her leg to her mid-thigh, teasing him with a mouth-watering view of her tanned skin every time she took a step towards him. And she’d kept her hair down for the occasion, letting her natural dark brown curls drape elegantly over her delicate shoulders and frame her adorable little smile so perfectly. Jason opened his mouth to try greet her - to tell her how stunning she looked that night, her deep red dress highlighting all the parts of her that excited him every time his gaze landed on them - but he found himself unable to even make a sound. 

     Dick grinned when he saw the way his brother’s mouth kept opening and closing as his eyes roved over his best friend’s figure. Maybe tonight would finally be the night that they admitted their feelings to one another. Neither of them had ever mentioned anything about feeling more than friendship for the other person, but it was so obvious to anyone with eyes that they were deeply in love with one another - never mind that they both looked like they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off right then! Dick nudged Jason’s shoulder, silently encouraging him to speak up, but Jason continued to struggle with his words, so Dick stepped forward to initiate the conversation.

     “Thank god you’re here,” Dick joked, giving X a friendly pat on the back in greeting. “Between you and me, I think Jason was just about to puke all over Clara Yang’s two-thousand dollar pair of shoes!” 

     “Come now, Richard, you know how gauche it is to speak of money so blatantly,” X replied, matching his quiet tone so Clara wouldn’t hear. 

     Dick shook his head, the wide smile still stretched across his face, and took a step back from her. “I noticed that you and Jason are matching. Whose idea was that?” 

     “Obviously it was Jason’s,” X teased, sliding her hands nonchalantly up his chest. Jason sucked in a breath at the feeling, his body rapidly heating up at the way she touched him so intimately, right there in front of everyone, but X continued to focus her attention on Dick. “Didn’t you know about his secret love for fashion?” 

     “Well, if it’s a secret, then how am I supposed to know?” Dick countered quickly. X grinned at his words and finally lifted her gaze to Jason’s. He swallowed hard when he saw the way her eyes darkened when they landed on his and his hands instinctively came around her waist, holding her loosely against him.

     “X …” he began softly, his fingers cautiously inching their way along her waist. “You … You look …” She giggled softly and Jason swore his heart melted into a puddle at the sound. 

     “Thanks, Jay,” X whispered back, her voice just as gentle as his as she adjusted his bowtie and waistcoat. “You look really good too.” 

     A naughty smile took over her face as she slid her gaze over to Dick. Then she raised her voice so he’d be able to hear her next words. “Maybe even more handsome than Dick!” 

     “X!” Dick scoffed, clutching his chest in mock agony. “How could you say such a thing?!” X laughed, keeping her fingers curled around the lapels of Jason’s jacket so he could admire the slender length of her neck as her head fell back. Damn, she was beautiful. 

     “I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” X corrected quickly, trying to assuage his concerns. But she leaned closer to Jason’s chest, hiding her face behind his jacket so Dick almost missed the way her expression turned even more mischievous. “He’s definitely more handsome than you tonight, Dick.” 

     Dick let out another offended snort, but Jason barely heard it over the sound of his heart pounding in his chest at the proximity of X to him. How could she cling on to him so casually when they were in public? When anyone might glance over and see them holding each other like … like a couple? He dug his fingers into her sides as his body heated up with excitement at the thought: there was just something so satisfying about their relationship being so right that everyone else could see it even before they officially announced it out loud. And suddenly, he decided that he didn’t want to hide it anymore - he’d talk to X once they found some time to be alone and if she agreed, they’d tell his family about their relationship tonight. 

     X rubbed Jason’s chest gently as she turned to Clara, completely secure in the knowledge that he eyes for her and only her - even if she wasn’t some filthy rich, well-travelled, upper-class heiress who would never have to work for anything in her life. “Don’t you agree, Clara?” 

     Clara’s jaw tightened as her eyes followed the intimate movements of X’s fingers across Jason’s body. But she forced her lips into a tight smile, just like she’d probably been trained to do her entire life. “Why just tonight? I think Jason is always the most handsome man in the room.” 

     X almost choked on her saliva at Clara’s sugary-sweet tone. But that wasn’t even the worst reaction she could have had because poor Jason actually shuffled around in position, angling her towards Clara like she was some sort of shield that could protect him from her adamant flirtations! X swallowed down her laughter, trying to dredge up some sympathy for her boyfriend, but it was just too funny to think of the six-foot-two, built-like-a-brick-wall, not-afraid-to-kill-anyone-who-tried-to-hurt-a-child Red Hood cowering before the tiny, spoiled socialite.

     “I’m hungry,” Jason mumbled, tugging X in the direction of the buffet table on the opposite end of the room. “Let’s get some food, X.” 

     “Of course, Jay!” X agreed, flashing Clara a bright smile before running her fingers possessively through Jason’s hair. Clara clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes at her, but somehow still managed to keep that frightening smile plastered across her face. Maybe they should try recruiting her into being a vigilante too. 

     “You look beautiful, princess,” Jason finally worked up the nerve to tell her once they were alone. X smiled and rubbed his arm where she’d curled herself around him. 

     “Thanks, baby,” X replied, glowing so adorably at his praise. She really was so beautiful, so cute and pretty and all his to admire and adore. “I would kiss you, but …” She glanced around at the roomful of gossip-mongers surrounding them, then flashed him a guilty smile. Jason's stomach twisted with nerves as he remembered his decision to tell his family that night and he cleared his throat when they reached the buffet table. 

     “About that,” Jason began, his expression serious as he turned to X. She raised an eyebrow in question and Jason puffed out his chest as he straightened, trying to build up his confidence. “I was thinking-”

     “Jason Todd!” A vaguely familiar voice called from behind him. Jason turned around and for once, he grinned at who he found. 

     “Mrs Vasquez?!” he exclaimed, releasing his girlfriend for a brief moment to give the elderly woman a hug. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

     X’s chest warmed at the sight of the sweet smile on her boyfriend’s face - and the reciprocating grin the kind-looking old woman wore as she returned his hug. 

     “Indeed!” Mrs Vasquez agreed. “I thought you would have visited at least once after returning from your big fancy trip in Europe!” That was the lie Bruce had had his PR team spread through the public when Jason had returned from his grave. They’d kept his death under wraps when it had happened, knowing they wouldn’t be able to explain away the sudden death of a healthy fifteen-year-old boy under the care of the lonely billionaire Bruce Wayne, so no one had batted an eye when Jason had ‘returned from studying abroad in Europe’ after a few years. 

     “But I do hope you enjoyed yourself, at least,” Mrs Vasquez finished, waving away any excuses before Jason could come up with them. Jason flashed her a grateful smile and slid his arm back around X when he straightened.

     “It was … an experience,” he admitted ambiguously, exchanging a knowing look with X. “But I’m just glad to be home.” He squeezed his girlfriend into his side and breathed in the sweet and fruity scent of her shampoo as he rested his cheek on her head. Mrs Vasquez’s gaze flickered between them knowingly and she fixed Jason with an expectant look as she waited for an explanation. 

     “Oh! Uh, X, this is Mrs Vasquez,” Jason introduced her. “She used to slip me a packet of sweets every time Bruce dragged me to one of these things.” Mrs Vasquez grabbed Jason’s forearm to steady herself as she laughed at the memory. 

     “Oh! Poor Brucie was always so confused when you left the event even more energetic than when you entered!” she recalled, giving Jason a fond pat on the arm. Then she turned to X and held out a hand in greeting. “Lovely to meet you, dear.” 

     “It’s wonderful to meet you too, Mrs Vasquez,” X agreed. “I’ve never seen Jason smile at one of these things! Maybe I should keep a pack of sweets handy every time we go to one.” She turned to Jason with a naughty glint in her eye and his features relaxed even further when he met her gaze. 

     “Hmm, maybe next time you could bring a bit of home to Europe, Jason?” Mrs Vasquez suggested, a knowing look on her face as she glanced between Jason and X. “On a honeymoon, perhaps? I'm sure your beautiful girlfriend would love for you to bring her on a tour of Europe, isn't that right, dear?”

     Jason's heart stopped at the word ‘honeymoon’. He'd just never thought that far ahead - it was a little hard to make plans for the future when you felt like you had Death chasing at your heels every day. He glanced over at X, terrified to see her reaction … but her features were lit up with a rosy glow, her lips stretched into a happy smile.

     “That would be lovely, Jason,” X agreed, tilting her head back to smile up at him. Then she leaned forward to exchange a conspiratorial look with Mrs Vasquez. “Though I'm not sure we'd be doing much sightseeing if we were to go there on our honeymoon.”

     The old woman burst into laughter and gave X a chiding tap on the arm. Then she turned to wag her finger at Jason. “I like her. I'll be waiting for my wedding invitation soon!” 

     Jason smiled dazedly, barely hearing anything after X's words. He didn't know whether his heart was pounding in his chest with nerves … or fluttering happily with excitement. Had she thought about marriage? Did she want them to be married someday? Living in their own little house with their own little kids … Jason gulped, then startled when he felt his girlfriend's fingers on his cheek, tugging his face towards hers. 

     “Jay?” she asked softly, letting her hand fall back to his chest. “Do you want to go somewhere private?” 

     Jason swallowed hard at the naughty look on her face - at the feeling of her fingers tickling him teasingly through his shirt - and nodded. X didn't hesitate before turning around and pulling him through the crowd, weaving in and out of disinterested guests as she led him away from the hall. Finally, she reached the door to Bruce's in-home gym and pushed Jason inside before closing it behind her. 

     “X!” Jason exclaimed, stumbling along behind her as she dragged him to a corner of the room. “What are you- Oof!” He let out a soft grunt as she pulled him against her, trapping herself between him and the wall. X slid her gaze over to the door, a devious smile on her lips, then she stretched onto her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

     “Who's gonna visit the gym during a gala?” she pointed out, sliding her fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair. Her nails tickled his scalp gently and Jason found himself suddenly incapable of forming any rational thoughts. 

     She smirked when she saw his eyelids flutter shut as she ran her fingers through his hair. Then she let her gaze travel down his neck to his broad shoulders, his muscles accentuated so nicely by his form-fitting suit. The Wayne's would always invite her to any gala they went to - not least because her presence kept Jason calm and relaxed - and though she knew Jason hated events like this, she loved getting to dress up in all the beautiful outfits Bruce would get for her on Jason's behalf. She didn't come from a rich family and Jason wasn't one to flaunt the money Bruce would deposit in his bank account every month, so Bruce would always just tell her to send him the bill for whatever she'd rent for one of the fancy events they'd invite her to. He'd told her she could just buy the outfits, but she really had nothing else to wear them to besides the charity galas the rich and wealthy liked to throw. X let her fingers drift down to the lapels of Jason's jacket, the black lining contrasting so perfectly with the deep-red fabric that was ironically reminiscent of his Red Hood costume. And besides, why would she ever pass up on the opportunity to see her boyfriend - her best friend and the love of her life - so handsomely dressed up in his gorgeous suits?! 

     Jason swallowed hard at the way his girlfriend's eyes darkened as they travelled over his body. He'd never known how naughty she could be until they started dating - sneaking into his warehouse in her tight little vigilante costume to tease him with her curves, pulling him into an inconspicuous alcove to have a quick makeout session with him when they were supposed to be on patrol, and, shit, that call the other night? God, he was going to lose his mind if they had to keep sneaking around like this for any longer. 

     “X,” Jason murmured, his breath grazing her lips as he bent over her. His girlfriend shivered in his arms at the gravelly sound of his voice and Jason sucked in a breath as his core tightened with excitement. 

     God, she loved how soft and gentle he always was with her, his low voice, his tender touch, that boyish smile that would always take over his rugged features when they played with each other in bed. Shit, she loved him. She stretched up and closed the distance between them, letting out a soft moan when their lips touched. Jason smiled against her lips and X clung onto his neck again as her knees went weak at the feeling. 

     He wrapped one arm all the way around her, keeping her upright against him as he leaned his other hand on the wall. Shit, her dress was soft. He was going to take his time peeling it off her later, carefully exposing each inch of her smooth skin to him inch by precious inch. Jason lowered his mouth to her neck and let his hand fall down to the slit of her dress as he began pressing lingering kisses to her skin. His girlfriend let out a choked gasp as he dug his fingers into the bare skin of her thigh, and Jason felt his stomach flip at the sound. He'd always known that she loved him - she took such good care of him, after all, consistently planning her days to incorporate him into her daily schedule - but shit, he'd never known how much his best friend could have wanted him as well. Wanted his baggage, the trauma that had ingrained itself into his personality, the scars, the pain, the anger, all of it - she didn't just love all of him; she wanted it all as well. 

     She hooked her leg around his waist and pulled him closer to her, losing herself in the dizzying feeling of him all around her. Jason slid his hand higher up her thigh, his fingers sneaking beneath the hem of her dress, and X held her breath as he neared her centre. 

     “Jay!” she gasped when his thumb snuck beneath the waistband of her underwear, kneading her pelvic joint so she began dripping with anticipation. Her boyfriend chuckled into the crook of her neck, knowing exactly what he was doing to her, and another shiver danced its way down X's spine. 

     “You're so naughty, princess,” he murmured against her skin, his lips travelling slowly across the bare expanse of her shoulder, “dragging me in here so no one can see.” 

     X  felt herself melt in his arms as her boyfriend licked his way back up her neck, his teeth gently grazing her skin before clamping down on her earlobe. “Or did you want someone to catch us? My naughty little nightingale?”

     A helpless whimper fell from her mouth as he curled his fingers around her ass and Jason let out a muttered curse as her hips bucked forward, desperately seeking her boyfriend's warm centre. 

     “J-Jay …” X whined, her eyes so round and beautiful as she gazed up at him pleadingly. Jason swallowed hard at the adoring look on her face and her lips immediately flicked up into a smirk. 

     “Maybe …” X began thoughtfully, running her hands down his chest and straightening to press her lips to the base of his throat. Jason held his breath as his entire body tightened in anticipation, the adrenaline and testosterone flooding his veins at the feeling of his girlfriend's fingers inching dangerously closer to the part of his body that wanted her the most. “Maybe I just wanted to help my boyfriend relax a little?”

     And now it was his turn to shiver at the way her warm breath grazed his neck as her lips moved against his skin teasingly. X snickered softly against his throat, then tilted her head and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the same spot. Jason closed his eyes, relaxing into the feeling of her gentle touches … but suddenly, his belt was unbuckled and his zip was undone and his girlfriend’s hand was in his pants, palming his length teasingly. “X …”

     She giggled softly at the undercurrent of warning in his voice and Jason cursed again before shifting them around slightly, shielding her from the view of anyone who decided to walk through the door at such an inopportune moment. X snickered at the way he didn’t stop her - at the way he just let her continue to arouse him right where anyone could find them! - and curled her fingers around his shaft to start tugging on him gently. “I know how stressed you get at these things, baby. Are you feeling more relaxed now?” 

     Jason let out a low groan in response, doubling over so his soft hair was grazing her forehead, and X grinned before cupping his cheek in her free hand to angle his mouth towards hers. Shit, he was a good kisser! He hadn’t been at first, a little eager and over excited to stick his tongue in her mouth and lick up the taste of her. But with a little patience - and a lot of practise 😉 - he’d become so good at it that just the feeling of his tongue running across her lips was enough to make her weak in the knees! X sighed softly as Jason kneaded her tongue with his, both his hands wandering across her body, leisurely making their way back down to her ass … 

     “Holy f*cking God!” X snatched her hand out of Jason’s pants when she heard Tim’s horrified voice echo through the room. “What the f*ck are the two of you doing?!” 

     Jason took a step back from his best friend and quickly tucked himself back into his underwear before zipping his pants back up. His heart pounded rapidly in his chest as he twisted his head back to catch a glimpse of Tim and Cass standing at the other end of the room, equal expressions of shock on their faces. “What … What the hell are you doing here?!” 

     X ignored the panicked thudding of her heart as she straightened her dress and plastered an innocent smile onto her face. She avoided Jason’s gaze as she stepped out from behind him, keeping her eyes trained on Tim and Cass instead. “We were just taking a break from the rest of the party. What are you guys doing here?” 

     Tim stared at the two of them in silence, his jaw hanging open with shock as his brain worked overtime to process what he’d just caught them in the middle of. He’d have to wash his eyes with bleach or something later tonight. And probably his brain too. And his ears, so he wouldn’t forever be haunted by the sound of X’s playful giggles and Jason’s low and teasing voice and ugh, he was going to be sick! 

     “Dick sent us to come find you,” Cass explained, confused by the scene in front of her. “He said he thought he’d seen the two of you come this way a while back ... X, why is Jason wearing the same lipstick as you?” She tilted her in question, still not catching on to what they’d been doing, and her eyes fell to the red lip-shaped stain at the base of Jason’s throat. 

     “And he got some on his neck … Oh!” She gasped, suddenly realising how all the lipstick marks had gotten on Jason’s body, and lowered her head as a blush crept up her cheeks. 

     “Guys? What’s-?” Dick stopped short as he entered the gym, utterly bewildered by the sight before him: Tim on his knees on the ground, a traumatised look on his face, and Cass shifting awkwardly in position as she looked everywhere but at Jason and X. “Uh, what’s going on?” 

     X and Jason exchanged embarrassed looks as they tried to figure out how to respond, but before either of them could say anything, Tim replied for them. “They were f*cking having sex in the gym! Oh God. Did you guys touch anything?! Oh God, are there bodily fluids everywhere?! F*ck! I’m gonna … I can’t step foot in here ever again!” 

     He pushed himself to his feet and wobbled to the door, genuinely looking like he was about to throw up any second. Dick raised an eyebrow in concern as he moved to let him pass, then he folded his arms across his chest and turned to Jason and X for an explanation. 

     “I … We … Um, that’s …” The two of them stuttered, stumbling over their words as they tried to come up with an answer. 

     “Are you guys together?” Dick suggested, trying to stop his lips from curling at the ends with joy. Jason and X clasped their hands behind their backs, both of them wearing equally guilty expressions as they avoided Dick’s gaze. 

     “Um, uh, yes, actually …” Jason confirmed, causing a rush of victory to shoot through Dick’s chest. 

     “Um, for, um, about two months? Maybe?” X elaborated, making the whole situation even better! How the hell had they managed to sneak around for two months without anyone else finding out! This was so, so good! 

     “Two months?!” Tim exclaimed, still hovering in the doorway. “Oh, shit. Please don’t tell me … You haven’t had sex anywhere else, have you?” 

     X squeezed her legs together as her body grew excited at the mention of everyone knowing how intimate she’d been with her best friend and she kept her gaze fixed on the ground so they wouldn’t see the furious blush filling up her cheeks.

     Jason stared at a corner of the ceiling and clenched his fists as he tried desperately to stop himself from snorting at the question: obviously, they’d had sex before - multiple times, in fact, both at her place and his. Thankfully though, his older brother intervened on Jason’s behalf before something completely inappropriate for the situation could slip out of his mouth. 

     “I seriously doubt this would be their first time, Tim,” Dick pointed out, his features curled into a knowing smirk. Tim gagged at the realisation that he was right, then he spun on his heel and raced out of the room, unable to take it any longer. Cass followed suit not longer after, flashing X a sheepish smile before she returned to the gala as well. Dick returned his attention to Jason and X, the three of them were left alone in the room now, and fixed them both with a smug grin. “Look, as happy as I am for the two of you, let’s try to keep it PG when there are other people around, okay?” 

     Jason rolled his eyes at his brother’s condescending tone, but didn’t look up, honestly a little embarrassed to have been caught with his girlfriend’s fingers curled so deliciously around his cock - but at least they wouldn’t have to keep their relationship a secret any longer. He turned to his girlfriend as she curled her body around his arm, her expression shy as she nodded in agreement to Dick’s suggestion, and Jason felt his stomach flip at the way she bit her lip nervously. Dick gestured to the door, not trusting the two of them to be left alone, and Jason escorted his girlfriend back into the gala. 

     “So,” X began softly, clearing his throat before sneaking a glance up at Jason. “Does this mean I can kiss you in front of Clara now?” 

     A snicker fell from Jason’s lips before he could catch it and X’s expression turned mischievous. Jason glanced around, trying to catch sight of her and quickly spotted her chatting Bruce’s ear off by a corner of the room. “I think her head might explode if you did that.” 

     X tugged on his arm, stopping him in his tracks, then cupped his cheek in her hand, turning him to face her. “All the more reason to do it!” 

     Jason slid his gaze over to the side, waiting until Clara had turned to them, her eyes alight with devilish glee, then he turned back to his girlfriend and touched his lips softly to hers. 

     “See?” X told him when a loud gasp sounded from across the room. “I told you these things weren’t so bad.” 

     Jason chuckled softly and pulled her into his chest for a hug, bending over again to press his lips to the top of her head. 

     “Only because you’re here,” he argued, too delighted to be wrapped up in his girlfriend’s arms in public to bother about who was watching them. X laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. 

     “I’ll always be here for you, Jay,” she reassured him, pressing a kiss to the side of his head before pulling back. “I love you, darling.” 

     “I love you too, sweetheart.”

[acowardinmordor]

I think when Steve gets Vecna'd, Eddie adds together what he knows about the situation and comes to a logical conclusion. To him at least. He knows that Steve came here asking for heavy drugs and high quantities. He knows that Steve was sounding a hell of a lot like 'sleep' meant something worse.

He knows that Steve is X, and that means all of the horrible things that Eddie knows X thinks about himself, the guy in front of him thinks that too. He knows that Steve, ever since the letters stopped, has been upsetting the freshmen by being distant and cold.

The only assumption he can come up with is that Steve already took something, and it's hit. Or it's causing a reaction. Or its a bad trip.

He has no hesitation about touching him, immediately checks his breathing and his heart rate. It sorta, kinda seems like an overdose, a little bit could be an allergic reaction, but Steve is trembling like he's scared, and his body is stiff. Those explanations don't make perfect sense, so he watches for something that would mean it IS medical, and heads towards his better guess.

Bad Trip.

Steve is high, and is in a bad brain place, and that means he needs to be grounded. Music helps, right? When he was on that bad trip with Rick after his first senior year, Rick put on one of Eddie's tapes, and talked to him. Calm shit. Encouraging shit.

Eddie fully ignores the flickering lights - electrical gets weird in the trailer sometimes - and grabs the mixtape he made for X, and shoves it into his sorta fucky boombox. It's a mix of X's favorite songs, and the ones he mentioned in his own letters. He doesn't know if Steve ever listened to them, but that tape is the only thought he has.

Gets it playing, and grabs hold of Steve's arms. He knows that Steve stopped talking to him. Since Steve knew who he was, and Eddie didn't know who X was, it means Steve probably doesn't care if Eddie wants him to be okay.

Eddie talks about how everyone else feels.

He tells him about how protective Dustin is. How angry Lucas gets anytime anyone says a bad word about Steve. How Eddie has never seen Robin smile so much. How no one judges him for needing to repeat a year. Everyone knows about how hurt he got, and everyone gets it. No one thinks worse of him for it.

He knows his voice isn't exactly calm and soothing, but the longer this insane eye-flutter, non responsive thing goes, the more terrified Eddie is.

"Steve, please, please, it's okay. Just find your way back. try to breathe, try to feel your body, and you'll be okay. I know - I know I've been an asshole to you. I know, okay. But the boys, Robin, shit, fuck, Steve, I need to apologize for shit, so you gotta slow down your breathing. Whatever you're seeing, it isn't real. I promise it's not real, okay? Come back to the real world and I can get you feeling better, I promise. Steve? Steve?"

He doesn't notice at first that Steve is starting to float. He's too focused on his face, the way his eyes are still rolled back. He lets go before he can notice his own hands rising with him. Shits too real, this isn't just a bad trip, he needs help, he needs an ambulance, a cop, anyone that can actually help Steve.

He has the phone in hand, and is about to dial when he turns back, needing to keep looking at him while he begs someone to come fast. He sees Steve in the air.

One step closer, then another. He keeps trying, another whispered sentence or three. But the lights are going crazy, and the music is staticky, the dialtone is screaming, and suddenly Steve is flattened to the ceiling, arms pulling slowly to the sides.

Eddie runs.

Leaves the door swung open as he throws himself into his van. His hands are shaking and he's hyperventilating too hard to notice Max Mayfield sprinting across the road, up the stairs and into the trailer. He's pulling away, when Max screams as Steve falls.

He hears the scream, he hears and feels the heavy thump of a weight hitting the ground. He knows what that sound must mean.

Eddie runs.

Behind him with the tape still playing, Max holds onto a terrified Steve, who has trickles of blood on his cheeks, and bruises blooming on his arms.

Steve, alive, cursed, who immediately asks if Eddie is safe.

[sparksly-mage-of-light]

I feel like this thinking comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of forgiveness. They act like forgiving someone means ignoring and/or forgetting the harm that person has caused, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Real forgiveness is a sign of trust that comes from acknowledging the harm done and believing the person will not do it again. And if people can't forgive themselves, can't trust themselves, then no one can properly heal.

I accidentally hurt my dad's feelings a few weeks ago. It was a very minor thing that I didn't even realize I had done until he pointed it out, and he forgave me immediately. But I didn't forgive myself immediately. A very large part of my mind was on the verge of fully spiraling just dwelling on this one mistake. It took considerable mental effort for me to pull myself away from that train of thought and forgive myself. And I made the effort to forgive myself because dwelling on my mistake would have done more harm, both to me by feeding into my existing self loathing and focusing more on the mistake than fixing it, and to my dad by making him feel guilty for even bringing it up. It wasn't the first mistake I made, and it won't be the last. But I can properly learn from it because I've forgiven myself.

Now that is nothing compared to actual abuse. I've been abused, and while I will never forgive my abuser, for the sake of everyone he interacts with I hope to god that he changes his ways. But he can't actually do that if he's focused solely on what a terrible person he was to me. I would know, he used his alleged self loathing about his treatment of me to further manipulate me. He needs to move on and work to become someone he trusts not to treat anyone the way he treated me, even if I never will.

the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Trey Clover - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Interior Hallway]

Trey: Next class is… Oh, alchemy. There's stuff I need to prep for the experiment, so I guess I should head to the classroom already.

[Silver approaches]

Silver: Hello there, Trey-senpai...

Trey: Silver, hi. What's up, why are you staring at me so intently? Do I have something on my face?

Silver: Trey-senpai, is there anything you wish you had right now?

Trey: That's an unexpected question. Hmm, what do I want…?

Trey: Oh, maybe an automatic flour sifter? It'll speed things up and will keep my hands from getting too tired. It'd make baking sweets much easier on me.

Trey: Also, I'd like an apron. I have a few that I can hang from my neck, but that might cause my shoulders to get stiff, so I'd like to try out new kinds.

Trey: Plus, they tend to get pretty dirty before long, so it's never a bad thing to have too much.

Silver: I see… That was helpful.

Silver: Thank you. I think Riddle will be pleased once he hears what you've said.

Trey: Hm? Why are you bringing up Riddle?

Silver: Yesterday, before we began our club activities, Riddle was pondering over what to get you for your birthday.

Trey: Oh, so that's why you asked me what I'd want all of a sudden. …But hey, should you have told me all that…?

Silver: He seemed to be stuck in a conundrum, so I thought perhaps I could help with suggestions. Is that a problem?

Trey: Uhh, I mean, I thought maybe he might have been trying to keep the gift a secret, since he didn't come ask me directly…

Silver: …Forgive me if I've done something terrible to the both of you.

Trey: Y-You don't have to look that grave!

Trey: I'm sure this'll help him, so you should try telling him it was something you picked up through casual conversation.

Silver: I understand, I'll try telling him that. Thank you, Trey-senpai.

[Silver departs]

Trey: Yeah. See you, then.

Trey: Silver is one strait-laced guy. A bit different from the way Riddle is, that is...

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Hallway]

Trey: Ah… It's already past 8PM. I have to start making my rounds to see if anyone's breaking any of the Queen of Hearts' laws.

Trey: I'll go check out the kitchen first. I'd like to think there'd be no issues, but…

Trey: It'd be bad if there was someone trying to steal a tart from the refrigerator again, even if it's only a slim chance.

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]

Trey: So far, so good, for now. Next is the lounge. Hm? What's this smell…?

Trey: Hey, you two sitting on the sofa. What is that drink you have there?

Trey: Just as I thought, it's honey lemonade!

Trey: It's already 8PM. You planning on violating Queen of Hearts' Law Number 256?

[Heartslabyul Student A speaks up]

Trey: …Oh good, if you haven't actually drunk any, then that's fine. Make sure you pour it out before any issues arise.

[Heartslabyul Students A and B run away, Heartslabyul Students C and D arrive]

Trey: …Hm? Hey, you guys who just walked into the lounge, did I just hear you say "that turkey lunch was delicious"?

Trey: Do you remember the Queen of Hearts' Law Number 648? You forgot? It'd be bad if you violated that rule. Make sure you check if there were any others who might've forgotten, too!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Trey's Room]

Trey: Phew, somehow, we got through the day without there being any rule violations. Please, all I'm asking is for them to do better at not getting caught…

Trey: Now that I've taken a shower and freshened up with a good teeth brushing, guess I can just relax a bit in my room.

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Trey's Room]

Trey: Oh, yeah, I should answer the Headmage's survey before I forget. Let's see, it's about…

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Trey: Things we want improved…? I feel like I could take it or leave it. Hmm, guess I'll try to think it over while drinking some tea.

Trey: …Oh. Ah, right, I just brushed my teeth using fluoridated toothpaste.

Trey: I can't let the fluoride film dissolve. I'll just drink water instead.

Trey: Even if I were to just brush my teeth again, the washroom always gets pretty crowded around this time, so it's not really a good time to go.

Trey: Sigh… If there were at least a sink in my room, I could do it all here, even my flossing…

Trey: I'd like to put that in the survey, but there's no way they'd accept me asking for a private washroom…

Trey: …Then, doesn't that mean it should just be that every room should have its own washroom?

Trey: Yeah. That might be a necessary change to make sure that all the students have clean dental health.

Trey: Even now, whenever I try to hand them floss, or tell them to brush more properly,

Trey: There's a ton of guys who only do it halfway, giving excuses like, "it's causing a line" in the washroom.

Trey: But it'd take too much time to renovate every single room. If I want them to renovate something while I'm still here at this school…

Trey: Oh, I know. I should write in the survey that I want them to "widen the washrooms."

Trey: That feels a little more realistic than asking for a private washroom for each room, so this request might get accepted, right?

Trey: If this actually comes to fruition, I would be able to go brush my teeth on my own preferred schedule…

Trey: And none of my other dormmates would be able to use the excuse that they'd be holding up other people in line.

[knock on door]

Trey: …Hm? Who's that? One second, I'll open the door.

[Heartslabyul Student E arrives]

Trey: One of my packages got mixed in with yours? Sorry for the trouble. Yeah, goodnight.

Trey: Wait, is this…? Ah, it is! It's the recipe book I bought online!

Trey: It had good reviews, so it grabbed my interest. Hmm, let's see… The sweets I wanted to make was…

Trey: Ah, found it. This is the one, combining cream and caramel into a puff pastry. This looks easier to make than I thought.

Trey: I need to try making it tomorrow… Ah wait, there's supposed to be a lot of sweets at the birthday party tomorrow.

Trey: Guess I'll have to wait until at least the day after tomorrow to try and make it. Oh man, just looking at this book is giving me more and more things I want to make.

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Trey's Room]

[alarm rings]

Trey: …Ugh…

[Trey slaps alarm off]

Trey: …Shut up.

Trey: …Is it morning already? Hrrrngh… Ugh…

Trey: Yaaawn… Glasses, glasses… Mmm… It's not here… Where is it…? Ah, found it.

Trey: Nnnnggh… I'm so groggy… Uhh… What's going on today again?

Trey: Oh, right. Today's my birthday party…

Trey: .....................

Trey: …Ack! This isn't good, at this rate, I'll fall back asleep. I should go wash my face and brush my teeth…

Trey: Mmm, I feel like my brain's finally working.

Trey: I only planned on skimming it, but I ended up staying up late reading through that recipe book

Trey: I'm not a morning person, so I was trying not to stay up too late… Guess I can't get carried away like that.

Trey: Alright, guess it's time to get ready for the day. I'll pull out my mirror and start with sunscreen… Oh, oops.

Trey: That was close. I still had my glasses on, I should take them off.

Trey: That reminds me, I remember when I once forgot to take off my glasses and took a shower with them on.

Trey: All the other guys in the dorm couldn't stop laughing at how my lenses fogged up, that it was a running joke for a little while after that.

Trey: Okay, I'm done applying it. This sunscreen is pretty easy to apply, so it helps me get ready faster.

Trey: "Do you find daily maintenance troublesome? All the more reason to pick and choose the exact items you use!"

Trey: …Or so Rook said, when he gave me this. It's definitely different than the one I used to use, that's for sure.

Trey: Guess I'll just buy the same thing again once I'm out. Oh, right. I need to do something for Rook to pay him back for this, too.

Trey: Okay, next are my eyebrows. I'll use a pen to gently give them shape…

Trey: …When I look at my eyes this way, it really looks like I have a mean glare.

Trey: Cater did say once that a lighter-colored eyebrow mascara could help give a gentler feel. Maybe I should try that next time…?

Trey: Nah, nevermind, it's not like I tend to glare whenever I'm wearing my glasses, so I can just leave it. If anything, it'd just be a pain to add more to my makeup regimen.

Trey: All it needs is to look good, right? Oh, and I should paint on my suit before I forget…

Trey: Back when I was a freshman, all my clovers tended to be asymmetrical, or distorted, or just plain misshapen…

Trey: Now, I'm able to draw it on pretty quick and cleanly. Guess I've just gotten better over the years. …Alright, I've finished applying everything, so now I can put my glasses back on…

Trey: As for my hair… It looks like I have a bit of bedhead. Maybe I shouldn't've been wearing a headband like this?

Trey: But hey, I should be able to fix that with a bit of brushing. I just have to be a little careful here… I guess this'll do.

Trey: Once I get changed into my school uniform, I guess I'll head to campus a little earlier today. After all, there's someone who's waiting to give me a surprise.

[Main Street]

Silver: Good morning, Trey-senpai.

Silver: I was able to inform Riddle of our conversation yesterday. The present he chose is…

Trey: Hey now, you don't have to say anything else! I'll save the surprise for when I actually receive the gift.

Silver: I see. I understand. Well then, I hope you have a good birthday.

[Silver departs]

Trey: Thanks. Sorry for all the trouble.

Trey: I'm perfectly happy if I can just have a peaceful day, sure… But I guess I can still get excited about getting birthday presents.

Requested by @farfalla049 and @sakurakudo.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Good Omens graphic novel update: December 2024

We promised a graphic novel treat for December to send off 2024, which we have at the end of the update, so let's dive in!

Colleen has been working diligently ahead of the graphic novel going to print next month, which she discussed over on Patreon. For those looking for more behind the scenes on both Good Omens and Colleen's work more broadly, we recommend either following her Substack, or subscribing via Patreon, as she approaches the finish line.

A snapshot from our production HQ where dummy books of the graphic novel, slipcase and other editions of Good Omens have been arriving thick and fast. The graphic novel (slipcased version shown) has quite the heft to it. It's going to be such a magnificent object inside and out.

Here, we're testing out the various papers, finishes, embellishments and more – everything is falling into place!

Merch-wise, some more delights. The A.Z. Fell & Co tote bag design is in, one side in celebration of our favourite angelic bookseller, the other as if it's been purchased from the bookshop itself, so you can take your pick.

We've got more pins that will be available in the 3-pin set add ons. While the full list will be available in 2025, we're happy to share a few more to get excited about:

On the trading card front, have a look at some of the base deck designs by Steve Gregson and Kirsty Hunter in situ as this all comes together rather nicely, and causes a heated game or two behind the scenes.

And, a quick admin note to wrap up that we always recommend checking the FAQ page as a first port of call for any queries. If you have questions tied to specific tiers, we'd suggest checking the last few updates if your answer can't be found on the FAQ. If there is any information required for your pledge, we will be in touch. We will be back at full steam in the New Year!

Thank you.

So, to wrap up this year's updates, we give you the draft of the full first scene of the graphic novel, artwork by Colleen Doran and lettering by Lois Buhalis. If you'd like to wait until the graphic novel publishes in Spring, skip everything after the ducks!

To 2025 🥂

Until next time.

+ post from Colleen Doran:

Good Omens: You Get...Stuff Like This

In the most recent Good Omens update at the Kickstarter, a few people got upset at the suggestion that you have to get past my paywall here to see Good Omens updates.

Except you really don't, and the post doesn't actually say you do. You get a bit more, like pics of my studio, a discussion of tools and process - but not all of that is exclusively about Good Omens.

I think the Dunmanifestin team just wanted to draw a little attention to my blogs and other works, for which I am very grateful.

As my Patreon supporters already know, Good Omens info posted here gets to the Substack and Kickstarter eventually. And since most of my posts here aren't just about Good Omens, but my other projects and personal stuff, as well as links to our weekly Virtual Art Studio sessions, I think I'm justified in keeping that material behind a paywall.

In fact, I don't think I've posted much stuff about Good Omens since the summer: pages of flats like the one you see above, a few studio photos, and color tweaks.

Also, me boo-hooing about my nerves and health.

But for those who feel left out missing even this small amount of stuff, then the screen shot above is for you.

That's called a flat.

It's a prelim color before adding final color.

Here's what the final color looks like.

So I've posted a handful of this sort of thing since this summer, but frankly, there's even more of my sketches and so on posted at my Instagram that aren't here at all.

For those who don't know, I am doing most of the color myself on the book, but I am working with assistants. I'm not sure how much the Dunmanifestin team wants out there before the big reveals, but here's a snippet of a sky.

In the first image, my flat color.

And after my assistant worked on it.

Here, I've done a repaint. Sometimes I do very extensive repaints after the assistant works on a page. Sometimes not so much. I didn't use assistants on many pages at all. About 80% of the labor on the color of the book is my work.

However, the assistants have been a big help, and I am very appreciative of them.

I will make a point to go through all my prior posts and get every single bit of art that you haven't seen and make it public for all of you in the coming weeks. I need to excise it from previous posts. As I respect the privacy of all my readers, I never make prior posts public without their permission as they may not want their comments or identities to be public.

Thanks so much for everything!

[edinaanin]

Shit Stirrer: A great cause with a dash of irony

Jumping into my first blog post with Nicola!

Looking fresh, well rested, gorgeous and Christmas ready from - I'm assuming - her family's Galway living room, Nicola posted a photo of herself today wearing 1 of 8 specially designed "Saltburn Insults" t-shirts. These limited edition t-shirts were created by Carey Mulligan and Emerald Fennell (director) to both celebrate one year since the release of the movie Saltburn on Netflix and, more importantly, to help raise funds for War Child UK's "Emergency Christmas Appeal" fundraising efforts. War Child UK's single goal is to ensure a safe future for every child affected by war. This is a cause we know Nicola stands firmly behind! If you're interested in supporting this important cause, follow this link for the t-shirt Nicola is wearing... or scroll to the bottom of the Everpress page to see the other 7 "Saltburn Insults" t-shirts on offer: https://everpress.com/warchild-x-shitstirrer#more-info

So what, you ask, did I mean about that dash of irony?

Look at the angelic look on her face. Nicola, a shit stirrer? Shady Whistledown herself?! Maybe, perhaps sometimes 😉

Over the last week the Lukola fans in my chat groups as well as those sharing thoughts in my live streams, or those sending me DMs, have been expressing the same thing: exhaustion! They (heck... me too. We!) are tired and feeling a whole lot of frustration. Some quotes:

"I feel like we're all here trying to defend Nicola and Luke, trying to fight off all the negative propaganda being put out by the Jakolas and trolls, and all the while Nicola is the one feeding much of the {front facing} narrative. I'm tired and discouraged." "I believe they're together - 100% I do - but I'm tired of not knowing for sure and it's annoying to spend so much time worrying about a couple that may only come clean years from now, or if they get papped." "I'm sick to death of breadcrumbs. I want the whole loaf now!"

Yet we also laughed at the ironic humour in Nicola as a "Shit Stirrer"; the primary distributor (and organizer of other distributors, with Shonda's & JVN's help sometimes) of breadcrumbs, morsels and golden nuggets! The breadcrumbs are so much fun to find, and they can also be confusing and frustrating! Shit stirrer indeed. Xx

Nicola also has ruffled some feathers because of her political and social beliefs (support of the LGBTQ community [Gay Icon!] and abortion rights in Northern Ireland), humanitarian work. From my perspective, GOOD work! To others who perhaps have a vested interest in the status quo? Shit stirrer indeed. Xx

Yes, we Lukola fans know that Nicola and Luke don't owe us anything and that privacy is their right. We also know that Tomdaya took years before they acknowledged their relationship publicly. We should be prepared for the long haul, yes? Yes. 🥴 Le sigh.

As we enter into a new year I know the question for me will be how much of my time, energy and heart will I place into all things Lukola? Over the next week or so I'll think about the wonderful connections I've made in our Lukola community (and the angst I've experienced because of divisions)... I'll think about how fun breadcrumb speculation is, how I relish the hunt for golden nuggets (those solid truths that are ballast for our ship)... and of course the enthusiasm (and agony) that I feel for the ongoing watch for launch.

Today I'm feeling tired and at times, discouraged. My plan is to relax, reassess and come to 2025 with a fresh mindset. No obsession... just patience and fun will be the aim... and keeping up with this blog too.

Will you be on the ship with me in 2025? Or will Nicola and Luke launch before the New Year and save us all from the misery?! Ha!!

Cheers to Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Seasonal Celebrations... and to my fellow Commonwealth Countries, Yay for Boxer - I mean Boxing - Day (Dec 26th)!!

P.S. Best doggos in the whole wide world! Convince me otherwise ;-)

[chungledown-bimothy]

At first I was just gonna ignore this, because it absolutely did not pass the vibe check from the jump, but I realized that that's an equally unproductive kneejerk reaction.

So I went down the rabbit hole on this one. I checked out every blog I could find that seemed to know what's going on, and the information is unreliable and vague.

The only "source" I've been able to find is this low-quality screenshot of a discord message with absolutely no information in the picture itself indicating where it's from. They claim that it was posted in the Wrong Organ (game dev for Mouthwashing) discord server, and a friend who is in said server sent the screenshot to them:

Who is lmao? Is there any indication that anyone's actually going to listen to them, let alone en masse like people seem to think? Who is the friend, and do they or the person who initially posted it have motivation to lie?

God knows I don't listen to every post in discord servers that tags everyone, and I'm sure that's a far from unique experience.

I saw some people on Reddit saying that the tags had been flooded with horrible shit a while back, which does in fact suck, but from what I could tell, it seems like one asshole with a handful of burners, and I couldn't find any indication of asks being sent.

I found absolutely no proof or even mention that stardew valley or any other fandom tags were impacted by this outside of the post screenshotted in the ask. The poster of which admits to not really knowing anything solidly.

What happened before was horrible. I'm not downplaying that. But there is not even a single shred of reliable information indicating that anything is going to happen in a couple of days.

If there really was a plan cooking on discord, is it really at all plausible that no one else is providing any sort of evidence? I've looked through multiple posts with 3-5 digit numbers of posts about this, and I haven't seen a single person give any corroborating evidence, anecdotal or not, not even through-the-grapevine rumors.

I've been here a very long time. I've seen this song and dance many times before. I recall it not being fake exactly once, with 4chan in 2014. I do not go to Mouthwashing or any Wrong Organ games, but I'd bet pretty heavily that they don't have the numbers that 2014 4chan did.

It was much easier to post, well, everything, back in those days, and even then, the bark was orders of magnitude worse than the bite.

I could be wrong, and I'm not saying don't take precautions if you feel the need to, but the seemingly mindless parroting of vague and unreliable information, in some cases elevating it to "it could happen to ANYONE!!!!!", reeks of overblown hysteria.

If it's not real (which I vehemently believe to be the case), this is just causing a lot of unnecessary distress. If it is, this amplification and panic is exactly what they're looking to accomplish. If the scope of the past events is anything to go by, it's far more effective than what they could do with the very small group, if it is even more than one person, they had/have.

Hello dear!

Sorry for bothering you, but it's important to remind you to turn off your asks for a few days! Bad things are going to happen on Tumblr soon...

Don t know anything about this but BETTER BE SAFE EVERYBODY!!!!!!

[irrealisms]

hi! yr probably not lookin for asks anymore, but. what's your lifesteal elevator pitch? i know absolutely nothing abt it or any of the folks on the server except the vague things i've absorbed frm reading yr analysis as it crosses my dash, but it compels me, etc.+ also merry christmas! <33 🎄🌟

good news: i am always looking for asks

bad news: my parents DID go to sleep and i was able to wrap presents and put them beneath the tree and so on, so i wasn't going to do more asks tonight

good news again: i actually already have a lifesteal pitch. in a google doc. bc i'm normal

the pitch does assume you're basically already into mcrp and just curious about lifesteal in specific BUT we went to dsmp together so this works out

I really love shitty little tryhards causing problems via impressive feats of minecraft, and lifesteal is full of those. if you like people being good at minecraft, I really recommend lifesteal--in s2, clownpierce was top 50 worldwide at crystal pvp, and now he's washed and in s6 there are 2-3 (depending on who you ask) lifestealers who are better than him at pvp (admittedly maybe not at crystal); in s4, there's some stuff that's impressive in ~vanilla (eg parrot wins a 1v1 while on one heart) and some stuff that's impressive through exploits/social stuff (eg a group of people use a glitch + social engineering to get /op and prove to mojang that the glitch is a security issue that needs patched). every season is like this! lifestealers have backdoored the server 3 seasons in a row (s3-5). for a more recent weird Lifestealer Behavior, rekrap and jumper filled in every end portal room and built new fake ones to make it look like the world glitched and generated without them. lifesteal is weird and constantly coming up with new weird yet impressive things to do. a lot of stuff that's currently banned on lifesteal (F3+A, pie ray) are things i only learned were possible from lifesteal. (on the flip side i'd say: if you are not into shitty little tryhards making weird impressive clickbait, you probably won't like lifesteal, although you may still like hearing about it from time to time.)

related to them being shitty little tryhards causing problems: the rules are...more of a suggestion. getting around the rules, and hiding from the server owner and/or other players that you're doing so, is often part of the fun of lifesteal! (see also the thing where i mentioned that it's been backdoored three seasons in a row.) if that's intriguing: check it out. if not: once again, you have been warned.

lifesteal absolutely has lore and some people roleplay on it, there is nonzero c/cc divide, but it's more like traffic life than, say, late dsmp--it's fully improv, not scripted, and even more than traffic life it is genuinely adversarial. you can sometimes be confident that someone is in character but you can never be sure if someone is out of character, on lifesteal-- things like "going to someone's house irl to turn off their computer" or "lying about your homework/school/sleep schedule" or "changing your entire discord layout so that when you DM someone they think you're someone else" or "claiming you need their footage of an event for your video when actually you just want to see where their spawn point is" are all things that have been done on lifesteal that are considered fair game! everything on lifesteal is real; sometimes this goes well, sometimes it doesn't, but both are interesting to see imo because they are real

partially for this reason and partially for other reasons, lifesteal is fascinating to me as a piece of unique storytelling? a lot of mcyt is doing interesting things with its medium and being improv, lifesteal's not fully unique in that, but definitely if you like that you might like lifesteal. along with the improv, there's the fact that many lifestealers lie about what actually happened in their videos (comparing different videos with the vods, or in some cases with "what people say in various vods" when events weren't streamed, gives some fascinating insights imo--how do people frame their stories? how honest are they? what do they blatantly lie about, what do they gloss over or omit, what do they include in full? who, if anyone, do they see as the heroes or villains? whose videos agree with each other, and whose present a totally different story?), and the fact that conflict about "where do we want the story to go next, what do we think would be an interesting video/the best ending" is often the driving motive for in-character wars and conflicts! if you're interested at all in lifesteal and storytelling, check out barrier blocks part 2 by @mering/@myrmica, which is a deep dive on eclipse federation and the end of lifesteal s4 (those are my special guys); it dips into some academic game studies and it's really, really good. i genuinely cannot recommend it highly enough. (part one is also real good for non-lifesteal-specific discussion of mcrp!)

if you want a more specific plot summary (esp of s4) and/or "how do i actually, like, watch this" (of any seasons): hmu! but that's my pitch. also, read barrier blocks

[chimggukchim]

Share our @s so we can be bullied in our inboxes till kingdom come and be ostracized by you lot? No, thank you. I'm a Jikooker too and I've seen it happen to other Jikookers too many times just because their view of Jikook isn't "they are 100% together and practically married and monogamous towards each other for more than 10 years now"

Unfortunately this space has become too cult-like where one just can't have a slightly differing opinion about Jimin and Jungkook's relationship or express how they personally truly observe it without Jikookers losing their minds or accusing them of things, the way you guys are doing right now.

There's literally no difference between this community and the Taekooker community anymore - I've seen that crazy side turn on their own just because they had the audacity to point out the ITS talk made sense to them because for a while prior to that even they felt things weren't the same between Taekook anymore. And now it's Jikookers doing the same to other Jikookers🤦🏻‍♀

People can believe that Jikook is real while still pointing out the things they feel contradict that belief, or they can believe they were together and no longer are but still think they are special to each other, or they can believe they aren't together in what one would consider the "conventional, traditional" sense.

Taekook can never be real. That is a ship that has no real substance and was literally formed on aesthetics and vibes and had a whole false narrative attached to it that became lore over the years. A lot of people say just Jikook's existence alone cancels out Taekook, but I think even if Jimin and Jung kook didn't have the kind of dynamic they have and/or they didn't exist as a duo, Taekook still wouldn't be real. Please there's fuckall there.

I am someone who believes there's something more than platonic between Jimin and Jungkook and that Jungkook is deeply in love with Jimin, but still I agree with everything the last anon's(s') said. They *are* different from how they were before and the last few years make it hard to believe in the kind of image of them that Jikook shippers have painted for years.

We are Jikookers, we are here, we exist. Accusing us of being Taekookers won't make that shit true. We don't have to be a monolith.

First thing's first - YOU may not be a taekooker in disguise, but the other anon most likely was. And most with dumb takes are as they have a knack of using the SAME rhetoric and examples every single time, not to mention, always managing to slip in Tae somehow. Let's get that out of the way.

Now, here's the thing, anon.

I understand completely, the feelings of confusion and second-guessing whether jikook are really together or not. I have been there before, on multiple occasions. There were things in the past as it happened that made me doubt whether my suspicions about the true nature of their relationship was right. I get it.

So don't go putting words into my mouth and think that you can assume 'what kind of jikooker' I am.

Cause like I've said on multiple occasions now, I did not start out in the ARMY fandom space either as a jikooker or as a shipper. I had no clue what shipping was. And til this day, I remain an ARMY supporting all of our boys as a group before any sort of shipping enters my mind. Whenever I watch BTS content, jikook as a couple is never at the forefront of my mind. I watch them as a part of Bangtan.

There are certain moments that jikookers put on a pedestal as concrete 'proof' of a relationship, that I side-eye and hence, make no post or comment on because it does not make sense.

If tomorrow, Jimin and Jungkook were to announce they were both dating other people, I would still be happy for them because before anything, I want them to be happy. If that's with other people, so be it.

So I know me and how I perceive Jimin and Jungkook's relationship. I trust my objectivity of their relationship over yours, thank you.

Now to what you have accused most in this community of...I have honestly yet to see to the extent that you have indicated. Harassing? Bullying? Cult-like? Well, I've got news for you. You're in the wrong side of town, deary. And people who go looking there, clearly want to find what they're looking for. (toxicity, by the way)

And the way you spoke of taekookers and knowing how they behave and treat each other?...Honey, the 'normal' jikooker would NEVER EVER find themselves anywhere near taekooker spaces willingly. But you have apparently. That says a lot.

You're looking for trouble. You're going to find it.

Also...my sympathy for you lessened when you compared jikookers to the cult. Because the last time I checked, jikookers didn't go around literally harassing Tae's and JK's FAMILIES AND FRIENDS in real frigging life. So miss me with that similarity nonsense. Point out all you want about SOME jikookers not being able to handle different takes of others all you want, that's fair. I'm sure there may be the immature ones like that in this community, I'm not denying it. I assure you, they're in the minority. But the minute you go comparing any shipping community's behaviour to THAT CULT...it clearly shows loose objectivity.

So with my sincerest heart, I would advise you to change your space. You're clearly in toxic spaces, jikook and taekook-wise. This is bound to influence how you view not only jikook but more importantly, the jikook community.

There is a reason why I don't answer or comment on toxic asks. It's because it brings negativity to the jikook space. And I don't want that. I have found myself probably treading on that territory these days with this discourse. But I'll work it out to bring back the space to positivity and just focusing on Jimin and Jungkook.

Anyway, the final thing I'm going to bring up is that you all keep speaking about Jungkook and Jimin's relationship changing with no actual evidence. You all simply point out things happening now but fail to actually show a proper comparison to the past to highlight the 'CHANGE'. That's not how that works.

For instance, I can say their relationship changed in that Jungkook became a lot bolder with JImin publicly as opposed to years ago. He actively flirts with Jimin on stage when, for instance, during the Red Bullet Tour (back in 2014-2015), he didn't. Jimin did. See how easy that is? Comparison.

If you have any sound comparisons...with proper context, by all means, share. I'm up to hearing it.

PS. This does not include "they don't see each other as much" because we are not privy to how much they actually saw each other back then nor how much they did in 2022/2023.

Anyway, that's all from me. Peace!

[shallowseeker]

"We see a glimmer of emotional despair and blame lobbed at Cas which is… fascinating" out of curiosity and for clarification, what was the emotional despair lobbed at castiel? im reading the transcript and am not quite sure

Confession: This is conjecture on my part.

I feel like this scene in Ouroboros is ofc course directed at all of Dean's loved ones, as they were all working to convince Dean to stay alive.

But imho, here: Dean's squared up to Cas.

And Cas squares up to him,

while Sam's body instinctually takes on the body language of a peacemaker between them.

(Also// We as audience have the diner scene between Dean and Cas fresh on our minds: DEAN: "Okay. But if -- if you don't we still have Plan B. ... Coffin. Ocean. Done.")

Sam's not exactly "getting it," but I think his subconscious must understand something of it, maybe...

///

I think the emotional despair that seems be more directed at Cas isn’t blame in the traditional sense but rather a reflection of Dean’s internal conflict.

I think Cas represents something Dean deeply struggles with—his own desires.

Cas, along with Jack, symbolizes hope and the possibility of a particular kind of future happiness, which Dean has been convinced that he’s not "allowed" to want. He has to be covert about it, to take a meager, starved kind of approach to his own happiness. (Note: Dean is allowed to enter family units and support others, but he's rarely allowed to "need" something/someone for himself in earnest.)

There's 14x10's almost-happiness: "DEAN: This bar -- This bar -- This bar -- I've never had anything this nice. Rocky's still isn't for sale."

And 2x20's DJINN CARMEN as she walks up to him, taking his face in her hands, kissing him* CARMEN: We can have a future together. Have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please."

And of course 8x17's DEAN: "I know you're in there. *CASTIEL raises his angel blade, ready to strike.* I know you can hear me. Cas... *DEAN's voice breaks, pleading.* It's me. *CASTIEL stands there, blade at the ready, light glints off the blade.* We're family. We need you. I need you."

And what's even more sickening? AU Michael's words later work to inflame this: "If only Dean had used that coffin when he had the chance."

(Aside/// And likewise, The Empty's deal works to convince Cas of the same thing, that he's not "allowed" to feel personal happiness or express love without dire consequences!)

/// Anyway, I think Dean’s decision not to say goodbye to Cas and Jack in 14x12 does stand in stark contrast to his other behaviors: hugging Sam, eating last meals with Mary and Donna, etc. I think this difference highlights how unique and emotionally complicated his relationships with Cas and Jack are. Dean’s reasoning—“I don’t need to get shaky on this thing”—reveals his fear of losing resolve if he faces them directly. (It's even unlike Lisa, whose goodbye was bittersweet but clean.)

In a nutshell, saying goodbye to Cas and Jack would force Dean to confront the depth of his attachments, making it harder to follow through with his sacrifice. (Or, per the script, it would make Dean himself "too emotional.")

SAM: You know, Mom hates this. I hate this... And Cas and Jack, you haven’t even told them. DEAN: Okay, well, yeah, that’s because I’m not good with the whole big goodbyes, alright? I-I-I don’t need to get shaky on this thing. SAM: Wouldn't be the worst thing.

Overall, Dean fears his resolve will weaken, that his emotions will spill out uncontrollably, revealing more than he intends, or that his goodbye would overburden Cas and cause him strife—because, much like Cas with his Empty deal, Dean doesn’t want to burden him.

Both Dean and Cas share a deeply ingrained sense of self-denial, prioritizing protecting others over addressing their own emotional needs.

I feel like The Gorgon’s line in Ouroboros, “Oh… you definitely want things,” brings this to the surface, as does AU Michael’s taunts. All season long, Michael asked his victims: "What do you want?"

Notably, Dream!Pamela says to Dean: "Why do you always want what you can't have?" And finally, AU Micheal's: “If only Dean had used that coffin when he had the chance.”

:(

////

Cas makes Dean want to stay, a feeling that unsettles him precisely because of how powerful it is. Perhaps, it stirs up frustration because it's something he can't seem to control, even after all this time.

This is a frustration that Dean largely directs at himself, but I think it occasionally spills over into his interactions with Cas because of the vulnerability Cas represents. (Note: All this isn't even factoring in Cas's well-meaning attempts to shield Dean, which winds up making Dean feel shut out.)

///

And of course... all hail 2x20.

John instilled hero virtues in Dean by teaching him that sacrifice and duty were part of being a hero/family caretaker, even at the cost of his own happiness. This mindset is clear in Dean’s painful reflection, where he questions why he has to carry the burden of saving others while his own life and the lives of his loved ones are sacrificed:

DEAN (to John): "Course I know what you'd say. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married?  Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? (pause) It's... (Dean's lips tremble. Silence. We hear the sky rumbling. Tears begins to falls on DEAN's cheek.)

[oblivious-aro]

This was pretty much my exact same thought process a week before I made this post. I do get where you're coming from, but here's a question: when does the episode explicitly condemn Danny for cheating? Does TUE actually say “cheaters deserve to watch their family die”?

Furthermore, consider this line from the end of the episode:

Remembering this line was my turning point. Clockwork is a very wise character (he was literally just established to be omniscient right before saying this), and he’s the one teaching Danny the lesson TUE wants him to learn. If the lesson is supposed to be ‘cheating is bad’, wouldn't that be completely undone by having Clockwork immediately turn around and, by his own admission, and in those exact words, “cheat”? It’s a very prominent line with a lot of attention called to it, too.

“Cheating is bad” is the kind of moral you’d expect this kind of kids cartoon to make, so I think a lot of us preemptively filled in that blank without truly listening to what the episode was actually saying. I get it, I watched my sister struggle through the public education system while getting practically no help or sympathy from it, and I'm sure a lot of viewers were in the same boat as her. Academic pressure can be a sensitive subject, especially if it looks like a character is being chastised for struggling, but that's not what’s happening here. We jumped the gun. The text doesn’t look down on Danny for wanting to cheat. He’s in a difficult position, and being forced further and further into a corner is a feature of the story, not a bug. Danny's situation feels unfair so that the audience understands why he wants to cheat:

"OK! I get it! You're brilliant, I'm stupid, and I'll never be able to get as high a score as you."

"Guys, come on. I'd love to have spent the last month studying, but I was fighting ghosts! Besides, if you two think this test is so meaningless, why do you even care if I cheat? Why shouldn't I open this up and study the answers, huh?"

TUE’s stance isn’t that “cheating is evil”, it’s “cheating isn’t worth the risk”. Despite what Danny’s been led to (erroneously) believe, he’ll have other chances and opportunities if he does badly on a test, even one this big. There are people in his corner looking out for him (Mr. Lancer gives him to come forward even when he knows Danny stole the answers, and literally offers him a make-up test. Clockwork messes with the timeline just to tell Danny that he’s a good kid who deserves more than one chance), but getting caught cheating really could screw up his future. You could still say that’s an anti-cheating message, but the writers do show more sympathy for Danny than people give them credit for.

I don't think the concepts are that abstract. Everything that happens in the present is presented directly, and the main idea you need to get out of the future stuff (bad stuff happened because Danny got caught cheating) is pretty simple and clear. Everyone I've heard talk about the episode seems to get the basic idea.

As for all these events caused by Clockwork… yeah that's 100% true. But given that Clockwork is all-knowing, the master of time, and clearly sympathetic to Danny, it can only be assumed he’s doing what he can to help Danny. Omniscient/psychic characters are kind of weird like that. They make the stories they’re in a bit messy, and you can't really judge their actions by typical standards (ie. Garnet from Steven Universe). Same with time travel, but I won't go into much into detail, because this post is long enough and discussing rules around time travel can get overly technical, but the gist of it is Clockwork is on Danny’s side, but he’s working under some very specific restraints, either from The Observants or from the natural laws of the timestream.

Danny isn’t being taught that cheating makes him bad, he’s being taught not to place such unhealthy (and unrealistic) importance on his academic performance. Sure, this lesson isn’t explicitly stated in exact words, much like the themes in Teacher of the Year, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that the writers were just trying to condemn Danny in either intent or execution.

And as was the original point of this post, the episode really speaks for itself:

"Maybe that's all anybody needs…a second chance."

"I guess the future isn't as set in stone as you think it is."

"And here we are with you, a fourteen-year-old child, risking everything to save the people you care about. You've given everyone else a second chance. Why not you?"

Me for years: I can't believe The Ultimate Enemy is telling kids they deserve something as horrible as watching your entire family die for cheating on a test!

the Ultimate Enemy:

[allseeingharlequin]

A literal rant about a specific moment in Pt 39 "The Detective"

I just had some choice words about Arthur and John's bullshitery

I always want to rewrite this part because they're so mean to him and for what?? The order meeting is at freaking 10pm you're not in a hurry

Like yeah he "seems distracted" and he SOUNDS nervous as hell, he seems scared to tell you something which is cause for concern yes but wtf? what about common human decency guys? like an "are you ok?" SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE?? Instead of straight up trying to leave? He came here specifically to tell you something he seems nervous about and your immediate response is to be a dick about it?

He's not "wasting your time" he's trying to tell you something, just like Arthur did earlier in the same episode to Noel, he came in the cafe and seemed nervous and you know what Noel did? HE ASKED IF YOU WERE OK YOU FUCKING ASS

And then Noel literally starts telling them and fucking Arthur INTERRUPTS HIM TO SAY "cut the cryptic shit and tell us what's going on"

Stfu Arthur, as if he didn't JUST START DOING THAT BEFORE YOU RUDELY INTERRUPTED HIM? TAKE THAT STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR FIVE SECONDS

Anyway thats my rant of the day, a literal rant this time because that actually pisses me off every time I listen to it lol

And this is something I've been thinking about since before I even really cared about Noel as a character so it's been marinating in my brain for a while

[violenteconomics]

(decided to split the reactions up into parts.)

for riddle rosehearts, it starts like this:

it’s a little strange how studious deuce has been lately. not that deuce doesn’t normally put his all into his studies, but now, whenever deuce isn’t at school or completing his dorm chores, he’s locked up in his room, nose deep in a textbook with pages upon pages of class notes scattered all around him. it’s gotten to the point where riddle regularly has to send deuce’s roommates to fetch food for him so he doesn’t starve himself.

and instead of the usual focus and determination riddle is so used to seeing on him, deuce looks more… stressed than anything else. like studying is some kind of obligation rather than something he actually wants to do. and from someone who has always been so earnest in his attempts, riddle won’t deny that it’s a little… sad. jarring. scary, even.

cater blames it on late-semester burnout. trey points out that the freshmen have been getting heavier workloads from the teachers lately. they both tell him that it’s best to just wait for deuce to get over this slump of his. he’d deuce spade after all, and no matter how hard life knocks him down, he always gets back up.

riddle’s not convinced.

(he, more than anybody, knows what a caged child looks like. and he, more than anybody, knows how impossible that cage is to break out of.)

but riddle doesn’t decide to take any direct action until he spots deuce sitting in the lounge, reading through an alchemy book.

deciding to finally bring some closure to this gnawing, familiar feeling in his chest, riddle walks up to deuce and asks what he wished he would’ve asked a lot more when he had the chance: “are you alright?”

deuce looks up at him, startled, like he hadn’t even noticed that riddle was in the room, despite the loud clicks of riddle’s housewarden heels against the tile floor.

“deuce, are you alright?” he asks again.

deuce stares at him like a deer caught in headlights, pupils dilated, eyebrows slanted, and hands clutching his book so hard the pages crinkle. he looks pained, like he desperately wants to say something, but is trying to keep it back with all of his might.

“housewarden rosehearts, i—”

he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth.

closes his eyes.

opens them back up again after a moment.

and smiles.

“everything’s fine, housewarden.” he says, in a voice that’s so, so oversweet. “don’t worry about me.”

(somewhere, in the back of riddle’s mind, he hears cater’s voice saying: “that’s soooooo #filtered!”)

"are you... sure?" riddle asks, trying not to sound as terrified as he feels.

"yeah." deuce says without missing a beat. "i'm sure."

riddle purses his lips and sits next to him. hesitantly, he puts a hand on deuce's shoulder. "you know you can tell me anything... right?"

"yeah." he repeats. "i know."

"so why does it feel like you're not telling me the truth?"

"i am."

"okay, now that was just pathetic."

deuce goes silent, staring down at his book.

then, he says, "housewarden, do you think i'm a good heartslabyul student?"

riddle rears back in surprise. "um... what?"

"do you think i'm good at listening to orders and stuff?" he elaborates, fiddling with the corner of the page.

riddle blinks. "i... would say so. you're much better than ace, anyway."

"that's all i ever wanted to be." he replies. "a good student."

then, deuce cracks a bit, a coating of pain being slathered over his features.

"so why does it hurt so much?" he asks, voice cracking.

riddle leans forward, trying to look at deuce's expression, while a haunted one crosses his own as deuce's words poke a tender part of his chest. "deuce...?"

"i'm sorry." he mumbles. "i shouldn't have said that. just— forget i said anything."

riddle shakes his head in disbelief. "deuce, i can't just let that go—!"

"please." deuce pleads, raising his hand up to wipe away at tears that aren't there. "i don't want to cause any problems. i've done enough of that. things are going well, i don't want to rock the boat. i just— just forget about it, okay?"

and there's something in deuce's expression — something that reminds riddle of when he was younger, constantly staring at his reflection in his bedroom window because that was the only company he had — that makes riddle go silent.

I am in dire need of more of that AU that The First years get The upperclassmen toxic traits,i realy want more of It,like;

A way to include octavinelle and scarabia,maybe like,3 First years(Ace,deuce,Jack) get some of azul's toxic traits,other Three(epel,ortho and sebek) get Jamil toxic traits and yuu get both

Second thing

More reactings please,i NEED The staff,ALL The dorms and even the relatives seeing The First years developing those toxic traits,the overblots+Trey and cater for deuce getting their toxic traits right back at their face i beg you🙏🙏

anything 4 u, baby.

(but for real, though, this is an AMAZING idea, love you so much for tilling the ground for my brainwormies, mwah mwah 😘)

(also, this might get REALLY long, so hang tight!)

it was just a seed at first — a tiny idea that stuck around despite the first-years not even realizing it was there. but as the poison from their actual housewardens starts to develop into something truly deadly, so does that seed. it shows up later... but it makes itself known nevertheless.

ace, deuce, and jack have all worked for azul at the mostro lounge at one point, and though it was a very brief moment in time, it was just long enough to worm its way into their heads.

it starts with ace trappola, who's already pretty slippery with his words. but working at the mostro lounge, taking subconscious note of all the underhanded deals azul is making, he starts to pick up new... skills, let's say.

it starts small, with ace starting to give out certain favors to his fellow freshmen to earn some money. if you give him ten thaumarks, he'll do one of your everyday chores for you — dusting your room, cleaning your bathroom, making dinner, what have you. if you give him fifteen thaumarks, he'll do your homework if you don't feel like doing it, or take class notes for you if you don't feel like showing up. if you give him forty, he'll help you with something less-than-moral and definitely against the rules (he did it once back at the atlantica memorial museum — he can do it again).

there's an obvious power imbalance in all of these scenarios, but ace effortlessly words in a way that makes it seem like it's a win-win situation, when in reality, it's more like a zero-sum game.

it gets to the point where ace builds a black-market sort of reputation, and all of the freshmen know that if you need something done, ace is the person to go to.

...but then, something shifts.

at some point, ace starts a black-mailing campaign for the people who paid for the forty-thaumark favor. if you don't want your secret — one that might get you expelled, suspended, or worse — getting out, then you can pay for ace's silence with a favor or more money.

the worst part is: there's no way out. if you try attacking ace, it'll seem like you assaulted him for no reason, since if you try to explain he was blackmailing you, you'll have to tell them what he was blackmailing you with, which you obviously can't do — or else what was even the point? the same rule applies if you try tattling on him to one of the teachers or the housewardens or anybody else. and ace is a better liar than most people will ever be in their lifetime, so it's a losing battle even if you do manage to get someone to take your side.

so if you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll.

(it's not even about the money anymore, really. riddle's thirst for control and azul's desire for recognition have clashed inside of ace in the most violent way, and now, it's all about the power it gives him over other people. and after how powerless he's felt this entire school year, being thrown left and right by overblot after overblot with no say at all, this is a power trip he never wants to come back down from.)

but ace realizes he's making quite a few enemies with his little money-making strategy, and he needs someone to help him just in case someone does come up with a plan to wipe him out. i mean, just look at azul — even with all of the loopholes and leverages in the world, even he was taken down eventually without outside help. if he wants this to last as long as possible, he needs... incentive for people to listen to him.

his own jade and floyd.

his own red-and-black collar.

using his riddle rosehearts-born dominance, and taking advantage of deuce's trey-and-cater-born passiveness, ace convinces deuce spade — one of the strongest people he knows — to help him in his economic ventures.

and deuce, seeing this as a way for ace to vent some frustration and unwilling to be on the other end of ace's ire, hesitantly agrees.

he doesn't piece together that ace is acting suspiciously like azul, but he still recognizes his own role in this whole scheme. ace is running a business, right? and deuce has only ever worked in one business before. he remembers what jade and floyd were like back when he worked under them, and so he uses that experience to inform his new position.

deuce becomes known as ace's right-hand man. he'll hunt you down if you don't pay, and he's not afraid to use force to "compel" you to. there have been stories about cat beastmen getting thrown up into trees and being left there for hours. about students getting forks "accidentally" thrown at them in the cafeteria with such precision, it doesn't really feel like an accident. about a student with a spade on his face who can throw back any attack sent his way with just as much force.

and there's nothing you can do about it, because he's in service to someone who has made himself pretty powerful. ace's silver-tongue gets deuce out of any and all trouble he inevitably finds himself in — and is ace is so brutally honest, why wouldn't people believe him? so even if you try to do something to deuce, ace has his back no matter what — and he'll win almost every time.

you mess with deuce, you mess with ace, which is already bad enough. but if you fuck around with ace, you better be prepared to find out with deuce.

they're a pair — that's always been true. but never before has that fact been so threatening.

jack howl comes next. we all know how much jack despises octavinelle's business model. but, begrudgingly, he will admit there are a lot of things he can learn from octavinelle. and more knowledge is never bad. as long as he doesn't actually use it, it should be fine.

(jack is more dangerous than ace and deuce, in a way — his toxicity is insidious in a way it just couldn't ever be with them.)

with excellent hearing, eyesight, and memory, he silently keeps note of every bribe he hears being taken. every lie he knows is being told. every mistake that gets swept under the rug. it's not long before he starts actively looking for it. it's not long before jack's uncovered dirt on almost every freshmen in school. it reminds him a bit of his time working at the mostro lounge. but instead of memorizing orders from customers, he's memorizing all their dirty secrets.

it's to protect himself, jack reasons. after all, it was only his input that put a stop to leona and ruggie's plans back during the spelldrive exhibition. he's just... preparing for another disastrous event, that's all. it's just precaution. insurance.

if it's not, then he'll have to accept that leona's overblot bothered him more than he thought. that he was weak enough to let it.

(and jack can't face that yet.)

and if, once in a while, ace comes to him looking for a little bit of information, then well, that's just lending a friend some advice. nothing wrong with that.

epel, ortho, and sebek don't have any direct ties to jamil, but they are certainly... impressionable, aren't they?

sebek zigvolt is a bit dense, certainly, but even he can see how well jamil takes care of his master. and with a master that's as ditzy and forgetful and all-over-the-place as kalim, that can't be easy. even if they are merely humans, and their experiences can't even begin to compare when it comes to serving a fae prince, sebek reckons that he can learn a thing or two by observing them. so that's exactly what he does.

one day, when kalim spills food on the floor in a hilariously ridiculous move, sebek notices something few others ever would. jamil gives the tiniest twitch of annoyance — the same way silver, in all his stoicism, often does when sebek gets too loud — but then he's back to being perfectly dutiful and polite and says "i'll go get a napkin."

it's... admirable, honestly. sebek doesn't put it into practice right away, but it stays in his mind long after he first sees it.

and then, after malleus's overblot, sebek's emotions feel like they're on fire. after being stuck in a world where it took just the tiniest crack to shatter a perfect illusion, he's wary of nearly everything that disrupts his day. now every single slight against him, no matter how unintentional it may be, feels like a personal attack on his very life. but sebek can't show these ugly emotions so outwardly — that would be dishonorable behavior that could damage malleus's reputation. instead, he resorts to subtle methods that can't be easily traced back to him like putting in frogs in schoolbags and setting brooms on fire or replacing shampoo bottles with tar.

but his repressed feelings of anger start to build to the point where he's now feeling unprecedented resentment towards... well, almost everybody.

when sebek has very first negative thought about malleus in history class — "reckless bastard" — he instantly hates himself for it and throws up then and there because how dare he.

he tries to shut them out, but the more he does, the more these intrusive thoughts start to bombard him with their uncharacteristic cynicism.

he looks at lilia from across the breakfast table, and his first thought is: heartless liar.

he spots leona lying in the botanical garden and he thinks: brainless cretin.

he even sees jamil, walking through the halls, and his mind screams: manipulative bitch.

but sebek shoves it all down because he's in no position to say that. it gets to the point where he's walking around as a silent, unfeeling husk, because to be anything else would be like inviting his inner demons to visit him on the outside. he pushes his emotions down as far as they'll go, and that's just going to have to be enough to get him through the day.

ortho shroud begins to follow a similar principle. his idia-inspired pessimism has led ortho to see others as less like people and more like characters. it's easier to think of every school day as a dungeon in an rpg. it's easier to convince himself that the other students are taunting him because they're programmed to be that way than face the reality that they just don't like him.

but the problem with seeing life as a video game is that you start seeing others as just ways to complete your objectives. like npcs or maps.

and when it comes to using people, jamil viper is king. or, for ortho's purposes, the ultimate survival guide.

ortho shapes himself into a model night raven college student — kind, charming, and sweet for the teachers, but just mischievous and rude enough to still fit in with the students.

he goes to housewarden meetings with idia to "gain leadership experience", taking notes and hearing out of every single little idea he can get his hands on (these are the people who have not just survived, but thrived. they must be doing something right). one time, riddle even pats his head and praises him for his proactiveness.

his classmates adore him for always been willing to help and being so calm about even the worst outcomes.

ortho makes himself as available as possible to the rest of ignihyde, brushing off homework or studying to help them with whatever they need — fixing game consoles, wiring in controllers, checking the internet connection, et cetera.

eventually, everyone believes in him almost as fiercely as scarabia believed in jamil, once upon a time.

ortho doesn't like telling all of these lies, but it's necessary to protect himself. it's like grinding to earn coins until you have enough money to buy that special armor in the shopkeeper's store.

...or maybe it's more like those cheesy dress-up flash games ortho used to play all the time — fleshing out the perfect outfit and hairstyle and makeup that'll earn you the most points.

if people feel like they need him, he'll be able to breeze through school without any more problems. he's put the whole system on easy mode! it feels a bit like cheating, almost.

it is like a game, isn't it? it's fun.

(at some point, ortho forgets how to stop.)

as for epel... well, he knows that his sudden snappish behavior towards the other pomefiore students won't go unnoticed for too long. but this is one of his only ways of venting, so he needs it to go under the radar long enough for him to... to squeeze out all of this sudden venom that's built up in him.

epel's not oblivious. he knows how sebek and ortho have changed over the weeks, and he knows why. but epel can't pull off "repressed" like sebek, and neither can he suddenly turn into the best person ever like ortho. but they do have the right idea about taking inspiration from jamil, so epel can fall back on what there is left: gaslighting.

every time kalim blacked out, jamil blamed it on him being sick. every time someone thought kalim was being awfully uncharacteristic, jamil called it a "mood swing". every time someone asked jamil about why kalim was acting so weird, jamil claimed ignorance.

at least, that's what yuu tells epel.

and it's perfect.

so now, every time someone confronts epel about his overly critical behavior, he lies and says he's doing it for their own good. you need pressure to make a diamond, after all. and besides — vil won't settle for anything less than absolutely perfect.

("i'm just trying to catch your mistakes before he does. and i think you and i can both agree that i'm a lot nicer than he is about it.")

every time vil confronts epel about all of the complaints he's been hearing from the other students about how epel's been tearing down their ideas for outfits and hairstyles with no mercy, and disregarding all of their achievements as "not good enough" to be proud over, epel dons a confused face.

("vil, between studying for tests and the crazy physical regiment you have me do, i barely have time for myself. you honestly think i have the energy to criticize other people?")

epel even starts turning people against each other so they won't focus on him. epel subtly threatens to take away the upperclassmen's position in the hierarchy, which sets up the other underclassmen as a threat, and epel grouses to the underclassmen that the upperclassmen look down on them for not living up to pomefiore standards, under the guise of regular teenage bitching.

but all of this, combined with their self-entitlement, leads to a mini-war in pomefiore. but since this is, well, pomefiore, where being perfect and poised is the standard, the others make sure never make it obvious in front of vil or rook.

epel plays everybody like a fiddle, and ensures that none of it can be traced back to him. it's a good way to get out his frustration. and hey — it seems like everybody's upped their game along the way. vil seems pretty happy that everybody's improving in their efforts so greatly, practically overnight!

epel wakes up with a feeling of accomplishment everyday. for once, it seems he did something right.

now if only rook could stop looking so somber...

then we come to yuu, whose inner darkness has been left to fester all year. if people think they can treat them like a ragdoll, it's only fair they do the same.

there's a lot yuu doesn't have, but one thing they're really lacking is a bit of respect. that's what it means to be magicless in an arcane academy. you're at the bottom of the food chain.

and look at what a bit of self-interest can do for you! yuu studies in the library until late into the night, burning the metaphorical candle at both ends, learning everything they can about magic until they're more well-versed in it than most students in the school. yuu starts making potions that aren't nearly as good as azul's, but they're cheap and work well enough. they start making study guides for others with their new-found knowledge, even if they do bristle with the fact that a damned study guide is what caught them in azul's tentacles in the first place. they start learning anything and everything, clinging to whatever scraps of knowledge they can write down.

with this, they successfully make their case for why they should join ace and deuce's business. eventually, they're just as feared as they are among the other first-years.

but that's not enough for yuu. the power of fear is nice, but the power of controlling other people would be much more cathartic.

so that's what they do. while ace is more focused on monetary gain, yuu uses their mountains of blackmail to convince others to do whatever they want.

if crowley throws another ridiculous task at them, yuu simply hoists it off to somebody else to do. if ramshackle dorm needs a few repairs, it's only a matter of contacting a few people before a whole construction crew paid off by somebody else comes knocking at their door. and they'll do it, if they don't want to get kicked out of the school or have their reputation ruined.

but somehow, even with all of this, yuu sets themself up as the nicest out of their little trio. they're willing to let payments slide from time to time. they listen to their clients' problems. they take constructive criticism and always seem to improve in their potions and study guides based on feedback. and if you do do yuu a favor, they'll give you certain favors right back.

so even when yuu is a covetous, greedy, all-consuming shark, the students still think they're so very, very nice. because compared to ace and deuce, what else is there to think?

but this can only go on for so long. and yuu knows that.

one day, they get called to the headmage's office. yuu is already going through their contact list — a list that's quadrupled ever since they joined forces with ace and deuce — to see who'd be willing to do them a teensy little favor for them, but when they step through the door, they pause.

inside the office are all the housewardens, their vices, the teachers, and everybody else yuu has grown to know over the past year.

yuu narrows their eyes as riddle steps forward.

"yuu," riddle starts sternly, "from one housewarden to another, i believe we need to talk."

^

(i will address everyone's reactions in a reblog, because this is honestly getting really, really long, lol. but don't worry, the reactions are coming! 🥺)

(but i should mention that there is already a good reblog of the original post by @thenumberhuntress which addresses the upperclassmen's reactions that you can find here. go read it. it's peak.)

(once again, thank you for the great ask! this was fun to make!)

[38sr]

I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;

I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;

Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic

This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????

In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...

3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....

4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?

WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"

And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.

I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.

This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!